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Reading Reviews From Member: PaulaTheProkaryote
  
332 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PaulaTheProkaryoteWar Stories: courage

26th August 2017:
HELLO LOVELY!

Since you're my official favorite personTM I knew I had to swing by and leave you some birthday reviews!

First of all, WOW, your descriptive writing is so well done. It's pretty and full of imagery without bogging down the story or seeming pretentious. I'm thoroughly dazzled by it. In the very beginning you give us the writing desk and is it weird how fond I now feel for that desk and all of the memories, both good and bad that accompany it?

Also I love your characterization of Neville. He feels very well defined and all around interesting. I feel like even in the later books he was never treated like the dimensional, human character that he was. He went from Neville Longbottom: Comic Relief to Neville Longbottom: War Hero with very little development in between in the eyes of the characters. This feels so much more intimate and personal and real.

"Tonight was a rare night where he could taste the words he wanted to write on his tongue, feel them at his fingertips, hear them in his ears."
I relate to this on a personal level. Also I really enjoy the way his insecurities come out. I feel like this every time I write an email.
Also I'm glad this was the memory you selected to talk about because I feel like there are so many missing moments from that year that we will never see. I think you did a really great job characterizing all of those horrors and making me cringe at the thought of ADULTS doing this to poor innocent children.

Also I really don't think, especially with all the extra details and the whole "uncle Seamus" thing that Seamus would actually hold any kind of grudge or bad feeling about it. I mean, these were hard times. War. Apt name, by the way.

I love the characterization of his kids too. I need to see more of them in future fics for sure. So cute!

I loved the ending. I loved it all, but I especially loved the ending.

(also never fall for the heart thing on HPFF, always double check)

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Review #2, by PaulaTheProkaryotekeyframe: the courage of the stars

26th August 2017:
OOH. Okay, I've been reading a lot of Regulus lately because the whole idea of him being so young when he did his rebelling (and never really getting proper credit for it in the general wizarding world) is just too tantalizing for me to pass up. THIS WAS TOO.
Again with the descriptive writing.

I feel like the entire paragraph describing his anxious thoughts and questions and worries might be the most succint, accurate description of what having an anxiety disorder feels like on a day to day basis. I loved it. Except i mean obviously he's at risk of putting himself into some serious situation so that's probably not the best thing to catch myself relating to. It's just really well put.

Also not to sound like a total ravenclaw (as if I could ever turn it off), but I relate so much to the feeling under the stars too. I always blew up the romantic notion of the sky and the stars and all of that until I took astronomy my sophomore year of college and then sitting out there forever looking at the stars just made sense. Like yeah of course his mind went quiet then. My own troubles seem so insignificant in the magnitude of the stars.

I really like your characterization of Pandora. Luna is a character that I've always struggled to connect to, but her mother is characterized just Luna enough for me to see it and unbelieve it, but she seems grounded enough that I really like her as a character and can relate to her. I particularly like her teasing, but her encouraging him through the stars is just as nice.

I hate to be the person that ships everyone with everyone after very little dialogue but at the same time in half a second of conversation she broke down all of those walls and I can't help but think that if things were different...

AGAIN I LOVED IT! So...no pressure...but I hope you write more stories on here soon for me to stop by! :)

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Review #3, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (11)

16th August 2017:
HELLO LOVELY!

I know itís been implied here and there that his home life was a bit of a wreck in regards to his father so itís nice to have some major confirmation. My poor baby. Also Iím hoping that the Hogwarts staff donít actually know whatís going on because if they did theyíre mandatory reporters and THEYíD HAVE NO CHOICE TO SKEWER THAT MAN or else I would. GOd I hate abusive jerks. The name Nero really says it all, doesnít it?

AND THATíS WHY HE WAS A JERK. Oh, heís such a sweet little thing, isnít he?

So I honestly think that if winter is as cold there as it is here, it would be reason enough for me to drop Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology as subjects just so I wouldnít have to go outside. Random thought your story prompted. Ignore me. Also Henry is a hero.

The exchange with Susan and her about her attitude is exactly how I imagine a Hufflepuff intervention to go. Also can we just appreciate how much of a fixer Susan is? I love fixers. Sheís got the game plan and everything. I need Susan in my life. Ď A hot mess, but still a mess.í true friends.

I love how well youíve worked in what happened during the actual books in the background because I think it would be so easy to overlook those kinds of details. Like Ron being poisoned. But youíve been super consistent about it all along.

"You don't attempt to kill people over Quidditch." You can tell for sure that Oliver has graduated by this point because heís a solid exception.

Also I really enjoy all of the gossip and speculation and conspiracy within the Hufflepuffs.

As usual, the dialogue flows very naturally in this chapter and it really doesnít feel fillery at all. It feels much more developmental and I keep muttering to myself that the plot is thickening (which it totally is).

Iím 90% sure that Iíve said at least a dozen times how much I love Susan in this review alone, but I really like the way you have me both cheering her on and have me terrified for her.

It was another great chapter!

Author's Response: Hey you!

Honestly, if the Hogwarts staff is anything like its Headmaster, they wouldn't really care. In Cormac's case, though, he's a Quidditch player and most of the damage usually occurs outside of school, so Madam Pomfrey would have no reason to investigate beyond what he says... (But yes, my poor baby, who thinks the solution is to push everyone away.)

HENRY ZELLER, CHARMS MASTER. I don't think I'd do Care of Magical Creatures in the first place, sorry Hagrid.

Susan is a hero, we all deserve a Susan in our lives.

Having to stick to the actual books is actually such a pain, it's so t e d i o u s to have to constantly go back and check what happened. I want to take so much more creative liberty and I can'ttt. Too bad, so sad.

Conspiracy theories abound, yay! You should be scared for Susan. She has Things coming.

Thank you again for stopping by, your support means the world!


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Review #4, by PaulaTheProkaryoteThe Harder They Fall: Deeper Than Oceans

14th August 2017:
OKAY. okay I'm ready. You've promised me that you're not going to kill them. YOU PROMISED. (okay, you've never said anything of the sort, but this is just wishful thinking at this point).

MOTHER REDEMPTION RIGHT OFF THE BAT OOH YEAH! Okay, you're my super favorite.

IS THE VASE A PORTKEY TO SAFETY? Is she going to knock Grindelwald upside the head with it? SO MANY POSSIBILITIES.

"But he had already become that." YES MY BOY! (I'm sorry this entire review is going to be like this but you get that for writing this kind of amazing story, okay? if you wanted quality reviews you should have written something boring so I had to find things to dissect so I could fill up the necessary lines)

"Finn contented himself with shouting insults at Tom in his head" this boy is my everything. He's 10/10. I've never loved a fictional character the way that I love him.

HE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE! OH MY GOD FINN, OH MY GOD, MY BABY, HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST! Also I don't know if it was this chapter or last but I literally just said I'd like to punch him in the face and oh the satisfaction is out of this world!

and there was the most cutest love confession. they deserve a happily ever after. I'm just saying.

PORTKEEYY!

I love them so much. I hope that the Blishwicks made it out alive though. ďa face like that only means trouble,Ē She doesn't know the half of it.

oh my god the ending I'm so happy. I'm so, so happy. I'm sad the story is over, but I'm so happy. Thank you for letting them live. I was terrified you wouldn't. This was the best and so are you.

Author's Response: Thank you so much Paula :D You and your reviews were one of the things that kept me going and feeling encouraged, and I can't thank you enough for all the support you showed me. Love you long time ♥

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Review #5, by PaulaTheProkaryoteThe Harder They Fall: Hollow

14th August 2017:
oh god i'm not ready for the end. B, let's not end yet. I only have this one and the next one and I'm not ready like at all. Is there a support group yet? I need a support group.

Like nothing at all has even happened yet, he's just looking at the map and hoping he can figure it all out and my heart is already racing. I know I'm being unreasonable. I'm just too attached to my babies.

I do wonder why Grindelwald was disinterested in Fleamont. That's a good point.

UGH TOM ALWAYS THERE TO RUIN EVERYTHING.

But also can we just talk about how clever Finn is with the whole Fleamont's eyes darting. Hero would be proud.

Poor Fleamont. I hope he doesn't go through too much torture. Minding his own, offering some kid tea, and then he just randomly gets jumped.

Also shoutout to Fletcher for writing all of that because by the time I knew what like half the contents were I'd be too afraid to be associated with it, even if it was just by penmanship.

ďArenít you hot?Ē she asked. ďYou havenít noticed yet?Ē I swear I love them more than words.

Okay realistically I don't blame her for being so upset with him. I probably would too. Like Finn always has good intentions but then he does some bananas stuff that messes it all up. It's his way. She'll get the hang of it (assuming you GIVE HER THE CHANCE TO *silent plea she survives the next chapter*)

Oh god, Sebastian. What are you even doing? BE A SWEET NON-VIOLENT BABY BOY. Tom is so far down on my list right now, I could punch him in his classically handsome face.

Also I would totally be sorry for Alenya Hills and even more sorry for Finn for having to deal with that on his mind and honestly for the rest of his life, but I can't properly be sad for her because WHERE IS MY SWEET BABY HUFFLEPUFF!

There was so much character development in this chapter it was unreal. I'm just typing now because I'm terrified to click on the next chapter. JUST TELL ME SHE'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

Author's Response: I feel like there should be a support group because I need one too, now that it's over. Wah.

I can't reveal anything :O You'll just have to read on ;)

Thanks so much for your emotional review! ♥ ("I could punch him in his classically handsome face" made me crack up laughing!)


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Review #6, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (10)

14th August 2017:
HELLO AT LAST!

Okay so the good news is I had enough manners to leave you reviews on your last two chapters when I did my first read through so I'm not a complete animal.

Now I'm still wondering what in the world has got Cormac so hot and cold.

Can I just say that I really appreciate you taking the time to go over the mechanics of apparition lessons because I feel like the books really skimmed over it and it seems like it's so important and such a coming of age (especially with the build up of Fred and George getting it). I really enjoyed that part.

Good I'm glad he's flushed red. Hopefully he'll go properly apologize to her that absolute baboon. Also Wayne is a good friend for helping antagonize him. Good friend. I hope he hasn't caught feelings though or it would be super awkward. It seems safe so far.

Follow up shoutout to Professor Sprout for being chill about the entire thing. She'd still totally write her an excellent letter of recommendation.

Susan's shout of horror made me laugh.

I can't even imagine the terror of temporarily losing a leg I don't think I'd ever learn how to apparate. That scene really highlights the closeness of Eloise and Susan though and I'm all for any bonding of the girls. I think the pacing of that paragraph also helped set up a lot of the stress and worry that Eloise was feeling.

I'm not sure if Black Cat Flu was legit from the books but I don't think it was so if that's the case you get kudos because it made me laugh.

There's something satisfying about her giving him skele gro considering how gross and uncomfortable it was for harry.

A six sounds like him trying to do the masculine downplay of pain thing. Or maybe I'm just a wimp. Or maybe that would have more to do with his apparent familiarity to pain.

"Be aggressively normal and all will be fine" that's my new daily mantra.

so as a polite, thoughtful reader i'm not going to scream where is the next chapter. Instead I'm going to sob it. HELP I NEED MORE.

Author's Response: On Cormac's behaviour -- all will be explained! *swishy hand gestures* In the meantime, he can suffer quietly in his corner while Eloise and Wayne do their thing (especially now that there's no risk of Susan walking in on them).

Weirdly, though the risks are bodily damage are higher with Apparition, I'd still take it over learning how to drive. The emotions channelled in that scene are directly inspired from that first time I got behind the wheel and almost landed the car into a tree. Oops.

The Black Cat Flu isn't legit from the books, but from the movies! I thought it was hilarious; it's a very unthreatening epidemic name.

He's definitely familiar with the pain. He's also already been treated by Pomfrey, which helps.

Chapter 11 will be up sometime near the end of the week, I believe! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR CONTINUING ENTHUSIASM, I LOVE YOU



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Review #7, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (7)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :) You probably haven't noticed because you probably haven't checked your account in the twenty minutes I've been gone, but I had to go grab some taco bell and rush back so I could enjoy the rest of the story so far.

So I never really loved that Ron made the Quidditch team because I feel like he really did get it in part because of Harry which is super shady. In comparison to Cormac's disappointment, I do feel like it sucks a bit.

Did we ever find out why McLaggen had been a no show? Did he have a viable reason?

I love Christmas at Hogwarts so thank you for taking the time to properly paint the scene. It just makes me ready for Christmas myself even though we have months and several holidays to get through first.

I'm glad Vincent is making some progress though.

Also I can't even with the cuteness of their studying. His mind going blank. All of the latent romantic feelings being expressed through knee pressing.

Solid sibling names by the way. I'm down for them. I always grumble when characters get random names. Like fanfics that have Hermione with a brother named "Chad" or something wretched.

The birthday shenanigans were wonderful. Shoutout to Zach for the surprisingly sweet gift. He's the best. All of the Hufflepuffs are too sweet for their own good.

Author's Response: I hope you enjoyed your Taco Bell!

Well. I know why McLaggen was a no show, but it hasn't been revealed just yet. He does have a viable reason, one that ties in with his personal history -- I've only been dropping hints left and right for the moment but the explanation will get there! Hopefully it's not disappointing or nonsensical.

On top of all the reasons I still want to go to Hogwarts, Christmas at Hogwarts is very close to the beginning of the list. It must be amazing and I want it to be Christmas now (says she from the sweltering heat of mid-August).

They may be mute about their feelings to one another, but these two are so tactile. I cry. (So does Cormac, out of frustration.)

There are fanfics that give Hermione a brother named Chad? *shudders*

Zach's in Hufflepuff for a reason. He's just loyal to a select number of people.

Thanks for the review!


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Review #8, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (6)

14th August 2017:
Hello lovely!

I swear I reviewed some of these chapters at some point. I feel very guilty now. I bet I probably did like the last ones because I always start a story and then tell myself I'll go back and catch up on reviews and then never do. It's pathological at this point.

"Can you please not spring things on me like that, especially today?" I died at this line. My precious cinnamon roll. So cute. Adorable. Also John is a great character.

I love the Susan and Eloise conversation with McLaggen walking into the door. Absolutely adorable. I know I've already said that, but I'm in love.

Susan is like an even better Hermione. Like I honestly feel like she could single handedly overthrow Voldemort. She's brilliant.

The apology scene was so cute. Their dialogue flows easily and even though we really only get a few lines from them, it feels like so much more. It feels significant.

It's always important to me that other characters feel Hogwarts's magic the way that Harry did because I think that even if you were used to magical dwellings and from a magical family it still must stand out, right? I'm glad Cormac thinks so.

Also Eloise and Malfoy interacting is stellar. Like she's a boss in all situations despite her Hufflepuff temperament. Also I think the whole thing makes the Slytherins seem much more human.

"You literally just mentioned her name. Please?" All hail the queen of sass.

Author's Response: Whoops, I think you may in fact have reviewed them once, but far be it from me to criticise you for it. I'm just here grinning like a goof.

I don't know if Susan could singlehandedly overthrow Voldemort, but I feel like she'd definitely put her whole heart in trying. My brave little badger.

You liked the apology scene, yay! I'm trying to move these two idiots along but it's such a slow process. JUST KISS.

Malfoy, just like all the big characters we see a lot of, was terrifying to write, so you calling their interactions stellar is super relieving. Eloise isn't always a boss, but in the Hospital Wing, she's on her turf, which is probably why she allowed herself to be so sassy. Also, if someone is bleeding out in front of her, her focus isn't going to be on filtering what comes out of her mouth. Sorry, Slytherin boys.


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Review #9, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (5)

14th August 2017:
Hello lovely!

I love hate the Hufflepuff boys. Okay, mostly love. I especially love Eloise's description of them. I especially love her thoughts on Zacharias and him keeping his mouth shut.

I know you worried about their interactions considering how she is a bit of a loner, but I think even loners have their own groups and it feels more like they've fallen into a comfortable rhythm from living together for years more than anything else. It feels very natural.

Honestly that was quite the speech she gave Cormac and one day I hope you rewrite that scene from his perspective.

The way the hufflepuffs are banding together in one room reminds me a lot of when DA did that in the room of requirement in DH and it makes my heart ache and I'm feeling all nostalgic and now I need a story during that time period. Or I can hope that this story stretches through seventh year? That seems like the best option.

Wayne is my child: "We need to stop using gross stereotypes when referring to the other houses because then all we do is perpetuate biased ideas that make us antagonise one another when we should be trying to increase inter-house unity." Love him and I want more of him.

I know my reviews should have more substance, but I'm mostly just enjoying the magic so shhh. As always, I loved it!

Author's Response: Zach is an idiot, of the same variety as Cormac imo. His relationship with the rest of the group, especially Susan, is tons of fun for me to write. They love to antagonise one another, it's great.

STOP GIVING ME MORE WRITING IDEAS, PAULA, THIS STORY WILL NEVER BE OVER.

This story is definitely going to stretch through seventh year, so you'll see more Hufflepuff (and DA, but shh) bonding, no worries there!

Wayne!! He and Hannah are like Hufflepuff 101. We're going to be seeing more of him too.

Your reviews are the greatest thing that could happen to me and I'm super thankful for them. Substance? What substance?


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Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (4)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :)

Honestly poor Eloise waiting around for our resident dork. I'd be mad at being stood up too, no matter how long I waited. SEND A NOTE. It takes two seconds and it's just decent.

"the world has not been under a zombie attack Ė or in any case, the Ministry hasnít said anything about it." Yeah but tbh that doesn't rule out the zombie apocalypse. The ministry is downright unreliable.

Susan is my favorite character other than Eloise and Cormac and I want to see so much more of her. She's such an awesome, dynamic character. Plus I always appreciate some good conspiracies and illegal activity.

I do like the way they put bravery. Every day sort of bravery is far more impressive to me than those big acts. It's also a nice throwback to the every day sort of bravery she earlier attributed to Neville.

Susan should have been Minister and CC robbed her.

What nightmarish times and also the fact that she immediately knew to ask which of her family members had been hurt...I mean it makes sense, but it also hurts? Like that she knew the moment she saw him.

Poor Vincent. I wrote a deaf character once and I kept getting reviews saying that the healers would have solved it and I kept reminding them that surely everything couldn't be magically healed. If so I highly doubt so many wizards would have worn glasses.

I love the sibling banter so much. It really makes the story. It feels just like my brother and I.

Also I love that Eloise is a fixer. She took the initiative to find that spell for her brother and that's ten out of ten hufflepuff. She's so pure.

As always, I loved this chapter just as much the second time around!

Author's Response: Cormac has to stay a little unpleasant sometimes; I'm not on board with the way he's portrayed in the books, but I did have to stick to that somewhat. It's only unfortunate that Eloise is the one dealing with it!

I looove Susan! You're going to see a fair amount of her, she's such a fun character to write. Of course, there'll be plenty of conspiracies, illegal activities and snark to go around. (My precious bby.) She should definitely have been Minister, but there's always time!

I think that when you live in a tense political climate and your father shows up in the middle of the day at school (or, you know, calls, in our decidely Muggle world), your first reflex is to ask who died. But yes, it doesn't make the process any less painful.

Magic does not solve everything, oh my God. What I love about the 'verse JKR gave us to muck around in is precisely how flawed it is. Unfortunately, the ugly things found in our world are found in this one too. Racial prejudice, anyone?

Eee okay moving on to reply to your next review!


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Review #11, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (3)

14th August 2017:
Hello again! :)

I relate so hard to Eloise's need for privacy. That was one thing I didn't love about Hogwarts when I read it and I was younger. I'd be so annoyed if I had to share a room at all (especially considering how many unused rooms there are AND MAGIC) but to share it with at least four other people? I'd die.

Eloise and I have a lot of the same coping mechanisms. When I'm stressed I like to work on my gardens or I start little seedlings or I look at my pinterest board filled with greenhouses (no, it's not a weird thing to devote an entire board to) so she's basically my favorite at all times.

I think you really nailed Professor Sprout's characterization. She's a bit brusque and rough around the edges, but amiable and overall kind. Her dialogue flows really naturally.

Also shoutout to Eloise for being the kind of person to recognize when to let a subject drop. Those are my favorite kinds of people.

AH BACKGROUND NEVILLE/HANNAH HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.

"But, after all, he was Cormac McLaggen: what he wanted, he got, and he would get his mystery girl too." Really he sounds like some sinister mastermind orchestrating the apocalypse here which of course I appreciate. I'm telling you, he's the epitome of dramatic.

Ugh they are the cutest I'm so glad he's such a slacker in herbology. Also I'm very pleased she managed to embarrass him at least a little bit. It's how every good relationship should start.

Author's Response: I saw a post on tumblr once with headcanons for the different types of bathroom by house, and they'd made the Hufflepuff a bathroom where there were various tubs so Puffs could take their baths at the same time. No? If they can't have their peace in bed, at least give them five minutes on their own to shower?

Hufflepuffs and gardens was giving in to the cliché a little, but I'm glad it works! Also, it isn't that big a stereotype -- our other resident Herbology nerd is a Gryffindor, so. Pinterest greenhouse boards sound like a great idea and I might just copy you there!

Cormac McLaggen, sinister mastermind and dork extraordinaire. He should get business cards.

Thank you again for stopping by! :)


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Review #12, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (2)

14th August 2017:
Hello again lovely!

Okay, honestly, Eloise's parents are much more like how I would anticipate parents being during the rise of You Know Who, but I was still beyond grumpy when Molly had threatened the exact same thing and she probably had even more reason to be weary.

Squibs and Hufflepuffs. The best purebloods out there. I always couldn't help but think that realistically they'd have to at least go easy on non-supportive purebloods for the simple fact that potential mates might become scarce if they killed off everyone who disagreed with them so I'm glad you took the time to address it here.

This is the kind of quality humor I'm here for: "mum threw a potted plant at the wall two days ago when one of them tried to Floo in"

I forgot how dramatic Cormac was and I'm low key in love with it. Yes, I'm sure the bowtruckles were completely vicious. Also he's a totally momma's boy which is always a sweet thing, right? Adorable.

I can't wait for them to tell their kids all about how they met. Honestly, you're keeping the story running that long...right? RIGHT?

Author's Response: Hi!

The depiction of Eloise's parents actually comes from canon! In chapter 11 of HBP, she's said to have been taken out of school, which was an angle I originally intended to stick to, except it made any and all Cormac/Eloise interactions impossible. Instead, that reference becomes Anthony taking Eloise out of school the day Vincent is hospitalised (Hermione isn't privy the details and just assumes she's been taken out for good). I kept the (excessive) overprotectiveness in regardless, particularly in Helen's case.

Yep, not wanting to scare of potential mates is basically my headcanon as to why non-supportive purebloods were mostly left alone. Voldemort is very adamant about not spilling pure blood, so it makes sense -- and I'm firmly convinced that all purebloods weren't Death Eaters or Weasleys. I wish JKR had shown us the middle ground more...

Cormac is a drama queen to rule over all drama queens. He's also 100% a mama's boy. Wait until you meet his mother.

AHHH. Don't tempt me. I love, love, love writing my characters with children and pregnancy tropes are my favourite, but I have to get these two dorks there first!


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Review #13, by PaulaTheProkaryoteLogarithmic: (1)

14th August 2017:
HELLO LOVELY!

So it's been awhile since I've read this story and even though I love it and it's in my favorites, I didn't leave reviews because I'm exponentially shadier than I pretend I am. So I'm going back and rereading to celebrate the update and in the mean time I'm rectifying my review neglect. I had to wait for a day that I had free from any obligations so here we are!

So when I first read your story I didn't remember Eloise at all and I thought she was an OC. By the time I was like halfway through the story I remembered her. As such, your story really defines my concept of her character.

Eloise is beyond relatable. Who didn't start off as ugly kids? (people that peaked in high school, but that was rhetorical). My brother used to call me the family rat and would tell me he was going to set traps out for me and would taunt me with cheese (I was very pink and rodent looking as a baby, but still, rude) so Vincent was super relatable for me.

I'm curious, does any of your relationships with your siblings bleed through here?

This chapter with all of the hateful comments about Eloise reminds me of how much I hate teenagers sometimes. Awful little creatures.

Also that makes me want to write a pimply heroine just for young Eloises out there.

The end of the chapter has left me cheering Eloise on and ready for her to dominate 6th year.

As expected, it was a great introductory chapter! :)

Author's Response: Hi, Paula!

"Exponentially shadier", pah. You're lovely is what you are.

Eloise isn't an OC, no, but she may as well be given how little we hear of her in the books. I think she's mentioned twice, maybe three times at most.

I'm so happy you think she's relatable! She's probably the character I feel proudest of to this day, so this is like you telling a young mother how pretty their baby is.

That's a terrible thing to say on your brother's part, but I have to say I laughed. Traps, poor Paula! Eloise's and Vincent's relationship is kind of inspired by the relationship I have with my siblings, except I'm the Vincent in our situation, and we argue a lot more than I've depicted the Midgeon siblings doing. Hopefully that'll stop when we all grow up a bit!

Teenagers, sigh. I wouldn't go back to those times even if someone paid me. Once was more than enough.

Thanks for the review! :)


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Review #14, by PaulaTheProkaryoteThe Harder They Fall: Immortal

4th June 2017:
Hello again!

I finished dinner and had to come right back to be certain sweet Finn baby would not sell out Brindley. As if thatís even a question.

I'm just basking in the whole selflessness of the bit about him needing to do something special for her really is. And yeah, he is doing the right thing. Even if it's putting someone else in harm's way. Such as his own tail.

This precious little outing is the best non-date date I've ever read too. I'm so in love with the two of them it's not even funny. I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE. Itís so tempting for me to just stop here and pretend they live happily ever after dancing on top of a mountain by themselves. No death, no Tom, no Gellert.

SHE'S SURE.

Also can we just talk about what a rune nerd he is. AND SOULMATE BIRTHMARKS.

Thank you for the always because thatís the way always should be.

HERO! YOU SURPRISED ME WITH MY FAVORITE! Is it my birthday?

Part of me thinks he didnít really trust Tom to begin with, but Iím glad Hero could come back and reinforce the notion in his mind. And that she didnít tell him pointedly that he had been behind her death. I donít think Finn would have thought before acting.

ďBecause I think it will go with my outfit.Ē Heís my favorite character of all time.

HOW WILL HE DO IT I NEED TO KNOW OMG.

Author's Response: PAULA! Thank you! :')

"Rune nerd" oh my goodness that's cute. Everytime I get a new review from you it's the best day of the week, and you gave me TWO! Thank you, my love ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #15, by PaulaTheProkaryoteThe Harder They Fall: No Rest for the Wicked

4th June 2017:
Hello lovely!

I just got home from vacation so I thought Iíd make my way over to your story (where I belong).

I missed Finn. My precious angel baby. Congratulations for the frogs btw! I knew you'd make it! You're literally the best.

Me screeching loudly that he really should just tell Brindley about the danger she's in has been magnified but 100 fold in this chapter. But then again I understand why he wouldnít. Brindley, for all of her Hufflepuffness, has the courage of a Gryffindor and would probably end up taking Grindelwald down herself.

ďUsually he enjoyed his own company - and really, who wouldnítĒ This is why I love him so much.

SWEET BABY GAY. Hello precious angel sweet Ben. Oh and him worrying about Finn giving him that same judgment and then Finn firmly not giving him any of that judgment AND THEN FOLLOWING IT WITH THE DEFENSE OF YOU CAN LOVE WHOEVER YOU LOVE. Yes. Yes it is that Hufflepuff girl.

Alright. It's decided. Even though I love charming, manipulative, evil Tom we've got to kill him. Iím ready for a coup. Besides the half-cocked one at the ministry.

NOT RADBOURNE. Not with all that I now know! No! He and Ben are going to live the happily ever after they deserve.

I was just thinking there's no way that Dumbledore would ever eat those chocolates and then there he is suddenly "allergic." I swear you've nailed every canon character I've ever seen. Ever. Also clever little Finn with his mental note. It would do him well to remember it.

Also can I pause just a moment to sigh pleasantly at the revelation that Finn is clearly stressed a bit. He was behind on theory, homework, every class, and there was that whole failed casual assassination attempt like half a second ago and then what does my precious boy do? He reaches in just to feel the note that she wrote him.

aand now Iím crying with this precious line: ďIíd rather spend a few days with you,Ē he said quietly, ďthan years with anyone else.Ē

I canít wait to read the next chapter which I see is already up and waiting to tempt me! I love your stories so, so much.

Author's Response: You belong here always ♥

Thank you so much! But I actually have you to thank because you're the one who nominated this story in the first place, so THANK YOU ♥


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Review #16, by PaulaTheProkaryoteThe Harder They Fall: The Beginning of the End

9th May 2017:
IGNORE HOW LATE I AM! I forgot to check my review thread. I have officially added it to my notification list though so never again!

Of course sweet baby Finn had doubts. And the whole underage kids overthrowing a major government thing had to make him doubt himself at least a little.

I love how in character Tom always is. After reading your story (up until I ran out of chapters) I went and read at least a dozen other Tom fics (and boy some kind get risque), but I think at the end of the day your Tom is the best Tom. He just feels right and true and wonderfully evil.

I'm enchanted by the arrival of Albus Dumbledore. Not going to lie. What I want to know is if Dumbledore actually saw him or not. I mean I feel like he'd save the memory and go back and check and I feel like he'd make at least a few sweeping glances just to be able to do so.

OH HOT DOG. I'm getting some major Draco parallels. A dark family, not a whole lot of say in his life, trying to do too much for him to handle, a big mouth, a bit of a bully historically, AND tasked with killing Dumbledore. B, you're a genius, I'm telling you. These kinds of details totally helps me connect with him even more (even when he's a starkly different character than Draco).

"And I know about your filthy habit" why is this the best line I've ever read? Also, being compared to Hero here reminds me a lot of back in the first chapter (I think) of Hero where her parents seemed set on comparing her to him and my how the tables have turned.

So I know that our boy Finn isn't exactly known for his communication skills, but I can't help but wonder if a lot of head ache would be resolved if he just told Brindley a bit about what was going on. Especially the Potter stuff and the price on her head.

Ah, I love the santa joke right before the terrible revelation. The banter is so easy and simple and I'm just so happy for him.

(side note: will you be killing off every strong, brilliant female I love in life?)

ďI havenít.Ē *SOBS INTO THE VOID*

YEAAAH. "Trying to study." He has it bad. I love him.

Oh man the moral dilemma we are facing here at the end is just too much in all of the best ways. Also poor, poor Hills. She won't know what hit her. Goodness, will this girl end up being killed to protect Brindley? I hope not. I feel like Brindley would be peeved if she ever found out.

As always, I loved it. This is probably my favorite story of all time. And no, in the history of all of my reviews, I've never told anyone else that. This is the one.

Author's Response: You literally have me a sobbing mess! You're the absolute best, P. Thank you so much. I love you beyond words ♥

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Review #17, by PaulaTheProkaryoteTrapped: trapped

28th April 2017:
Hello lovely! Iím here for CTF

SO I completely loved that challenge Kaitlin posted forever ago because I think it's so easy to forget about the mental/emotional toll that war has on those stuck in it, regardless of which side they fight. And I always took issue with the end ďall was wellĒ bit because after living in hiding through a war torn country where you never know when you'll die (during each of the wizarding wars) can't leave everyone perfectly healthy.

Also I think Sirius is a great choice for a character in this prompt. Also I think you did a really solid job representing PTSD so thanks for taking the time to do proper research!

His fear is tangible and the feeling of being trapped is just so strong as so well depicted. It also translates really well into the actions of his character in the books. Especially when he's reckless to see Harry off or run off to fight at the ministry.

When he talks about the bit about others spilling their blood while he's being useless I think that translates really well into what we see with soldiers coming home. I know a friend of mine came home and he talked about how he felt like he was at least doing something there. But he also really struggled to transition to civilian life after the war. I don't think Sirius ever transitioned from that war mindset and that's why cooping him up in Grimmauld place just made it all worse. He couldn't escape just like azkaban.

-paula

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Review #18, by PaulaTheProkaryoteSupernova: Fire Alarm

28th April 2017:
Hello lovely! Iím here for CTF!

I couldn't pass this one up either because celestial references PLUS starting in a biology classroom. I feel like you wrote it just for me and my particular interests. I know, I know. Iím very self-absorbed. To be fair you did decide to abandon it.

OH MY GOODNESS AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD IS NANCY AND SHE'S A NURSE.

So I'm trying to decide if this is just a muggle story or an AU because it's clear that she's part of a muggle school system, but itís also clearly set in the harry potter universe.

I know, I know. She's dying and leukemia is a terrible, ravaging disease. I understand that she doesn't want any form of treatment. I'm with her. I'd rather just enjoy the time I have doing what I want for as long as I can...but surely smoking must have some sort of deep connection to her impending death because it's mentioned several times. It reminds me a bit of the fault in our stars (which is just the cutest no matter what).

Also bless her poor family. I can't imagine the agony of waiting for your baby to die. I'd probably try to spend as much time doing stuff and being together though. I home that as a supernova she doesn't take her family down in the blaze along with her. But I think she will be heard like a fire alarm. She just has to make the choice to do it and stick with it.



-paula

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Review #19, by PaulaTheProkaryoteThis Is Not A Love Story: Part 1

28th April 2017:
Hello lovely! Iím here for CTF!

SO I knew I'd love this because I'm obsessed with Albus Potter/OC and most importantly, I love the shy nerdy girls that aren't in ravenclaw. Like the more shy, the better. And here's Annabelle in her Gobstones Club being a total dork AND an athletic seeker. Win-win. Dream come true!

I know so many people like that. UM excuse me, I'm trying to be shy. It's sweet of him to check in on Lily too. He's an angel baby. And her trying (and kinda failing) with the conversation is adorable.

NO! NOT HARRY! My poor babe. Although that's what happens when you have a job like that. Also her brandishing her wand is 10/10 cute.

So they both have the dad being auror thing in common. I wonder if Harry knew her dad. Itís nice that they can both bond over their low key existential crises over their parents mortality and I canít imagine how difficult it would be for Albus facing the fact that given Harryís past I think a lot of people would believe that Harry was literally immortal. I mean he died and came back at the end of Deathly Hallows and he was hit by the killing curse as a kid. I think it would take a lot to finish off the old man.

That is a sad story. And who doesn't need ice cream.

Slow thumb circles will be enough for me to count it as true love, regardless of what you decide to title this story.

CUTE CUTE CUTE

-paula

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Review #20, by PaulaTheProkaryoteBeautiful: Alone

16th April 2017:
Hello lovely! Iím here for CTF so the Claws can dominate!

I haven't read The Worst, but after reading it I think this is a viable stand alone story so it was a good first pick given my lack of background knowledge.

I always love a good second person pov story if they are done well (and so many arenít). I think you did a really good job maintaining the perspective in an easy to read fashion.

Immediately I get a real sense of anxiety in the story when you set the scene with burning eyes and a clock ticking. The line that brings up all of her physiological responses is just really good for putting me in the spot and feeling what she's feeling.

I really identify with this idea of being young, but seeing so much/going through so much that she feels ancient and exhausted. I think some days my depression makes me feel the same way.

Your imagery writing is just absolutely fantastic. The scent of the pine, the water in the distance, that sound of the trees whistling as the wind murmurs through the trees. I feel like I'm back home in the mountains. I love it.

I hate the way she views herself but it makes sense. It really intrigues me as to how she became a werewolf. I'm making that assumption, but in reality you don't outright say that is what afflicts her. The talk about untainted and unmarked and fragmented being really could be so very many things. But assuming it is a werewolf, I wonder if it was from someone like Teddy? Or maybe some leftover hidden side effect after Bill was attacked by Fenrir. I have so many questions!

-paula

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I am pleased you liked this and that it worked as a stand-alone. As for how she became a werewolf, the worst has answers to that!

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Review #21, by PaulaTheProkaryoteDare...: Confronting

12th April 2017:
HELLO LOVELY! Iím here for CTF at HPFT. Obviously the Claws have to win. ;) You know how these things go.

Oddly enough this chapter also sent me down another weird tangent (are you getting used to those yet?) So, you say that the letter from Remus came back early in the morning which means he probably was up at some ungodly hour. And we know that owls are pretty quick at traveling and love tapping at window. So like I think there would be a great market for owl doors specifically so they don't wake you up and can just slip inside.

I mean technically it is wandless magic. She's not using her wand. So maybe some kind of weird instinctual wandless nonverbals?

I like that the love, Remus bit caught her emotions. I think she's going to need some people on her side to survive all of this.

I don't think it's unreasonable for Sirius to want space. I really don't. I understand her desperation to get in contact with him, but I think if it were the other way around it would be a no brainer to ignore him.

She really should have owled first. Poor James. Poor Sirius. It's just so awkward. And ugh at Sirius acting so cold. And James. I mean she is blood after all.

No I do agree with James. If she really didn't want to be involved in it I do think she could find some way to get away. Dumbledore could hide her. She could break free. I think that's just an excuse and once she pushes by that excuse she'll grow and change dramatically. Flourish even.

Iím glad though that she was strong enough to face that conflict head on and that her and James wonít be on such rocky terms. She really canít be alone in all of this.


-paula

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Review #22, by PaulaTheProkaryoteDare...: Monster

12th April 2017:
HELLO LOVELY! Iím here for CTF at HPFT. Obviously the Claws have to win. ;) You know how these things go.

Yeah, so perhaps after this little torture session with Fenrir she'll at least be more mindful of her attitude when she's around those that could be deemed enemies. But then again I think that attitude is exactly what makes her and Sirius compatible. Neither of them seem to know when to shut up. Or as my momma says "fix your face."

That is bizarre that somehow she could just suddenly hurt him. And that she's done it before. I feel like Dumbledore would have an explanation for it. Some kind of ancient magic, I'm sure. I love Fenrir's response that's just like "uh okay, let's move on." Like he does not want to anger her again. I donít love that heíll probably immediately report back what she managed to do. Although there is the saving grace that maybe his pride wonít allow for it after all.

Also I know there's the whole moral dilemma of being a monster or not, but to frighten someone as terrifying and vicious as Fenrir Greyback says a lot about her. Like I wouldn't argue that she is the monster, but I am glad that at least it's directed toward Voldemort's followers and not Sirius when he's being snotty.

I think Remus would be a good resource to have for her newly found condition (and really the whole werewolf thing too) and I'm thinking that homework line won't fool him. He's just too clever.

-paula

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Review #23, by PaulaTheProkaryoteDare...: Fenrir Returns

11th April 2017:
HELLO LOVELY! Iím here for CTF at HPFT. Obviously the Claws have to win. ;) You know how these things go.

Ugh. Fenrir is such a shady shade. I feel like her reaction toward her mother demonstrates her general immaturity all things considered. The useless scum bit doesn't help. I don't think anyone would really be that excited for the Dark Lord to be coming back for them.

And I do feel like her mom is putting in some kind of effort. More than she can be bothered with. But like I said her youth is really on display when she talks to her mother. Like the fake gagging and the mimicry.

I'm not sold on the idea of Voldemort having a follower not by choice. I just feel like if he wasn't pretty sure of loyalty he wouldn't bother. But I don't know. Iím mostly basing that off of his general paranoia.

Does the Dark Lord ring the doorbell? See I feel like that's just so mundane I never pictured it.

Again with the idea of shutting the door and slamming it in Fenrir's face. She just seems really juvenile in this chapter. I think it's a good character flaw though and every character needs a handful of those.

And like her egging him on with the cruciatus curse threats. Super young seeming. I feel like sheíll lose a lot of that innocent rebellion in the next chapter.


-paula

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Review #24, by PaulaTheProkaryoteDare...: Summer Dreams - Nicoles Goodbye

11th April 2017:
HELLO LOVELY! Iím here for CTF at HPFT. Obviously the Claws have to win. ;) You know how these things go.

The whole complex with her older sister moving out is interesting. I remember when my brother moved out I was ecstatic because I could take his bedroom which was a suite. It was awesome. I was also much younger than Aleesha though so I can understand the bittersweetness.

Their relationship seems to be pretty good even if she's a bit upset that her sister was leaving. The begging is a bit beneath dignity, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Plus I agree with Nicole that it's time for her to find her own way in the world. And if she's in love, she's in love. There's nothing more to it! I don't, however, like the way that she writes of the stereotyping and hatred of werewolves. I don't think any illness, contracted or genetic, is a good reason to call for someone's blood and I think after all the hatred she receives she shouldn't justify it either or then she's part of the system that's doing the oppression. Ah, but sheís young.

Sirius going overboard with hating...well, I think he does a lot of all or nothing. But that is a major betrayal. I do think it's notable that she distinguishes between loving someone (ie Regulus) and being in love with someone (ie Sirius) because a lot of times I think people miss that important little memo.

Iím sorry sheís crying at the end, but I really think sheíll be okay. This is one of those growing up moments.

-paula

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Review #25, by PaulaTheProkaryoteDare...: Worrying

11th April 2017:
HELLO LOVELY! Iím here for CTF at HPFT. Obviously the Claws have to win. ;) You know how these things go.

I think you do a really good job in the introduction conveying her sheer pain and weakness. That whole wanting to never more again is kinda how I seem to feel every single morning. Ah, but she tugs herself up all the same.

I think it's interesting that when she comes to she's so very disoriented. It makes sense, but at the same time I wonder how much she could possibly remember from her night with Fenrir. I don't imagine she'd want to remember much so even if she can remember stuff from transformation periods, I think hopefully her brain would keep her safe from that kind of stuff and repress it.

I wonder what had to have happened to make that kind of gash. Hopefully it was a shallow gash she didn't lose too much blood.

What a thing to have to explain when you didnít know yourself.

She's in this much pain and in danger and still she's worrying about Sirius. Yeesh.

I think it would actually be better if she did remember the night for the simple fact that she'll constantly worry about the what ifs. What if she did end up biting someone. I hope they properly cleaned and healed the wound before she slept in his bed. Otherwise it might stain and that would be a terrible way to get caught.

-paula

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