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Reading Reviews From Member: ValWitch21
320 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ValWitch21Periphery: Introduction

15th August 2017:

This story has been calling my name for a while now, with its pretty cover on the Archives' front page, so imagine my delight when I realised you'd written it! I've been excited to read this story ever since you first mentioned it, so expect an excess of capital letters and loud exclamations about how great your writing is in the coming days.

First off. I have a lot of questions. What's the deal with Chloe's parents? The description of her mother leaving the butter with the silverware pinched my heart -- is it Alzheimer's? (If yes, I'll cry.) I'm assuming they're both Muggles, in which case yes, I'm very excited to see the perspective of a character whose family can't know what she's up to.

More questions: Chloe's relationship with James and Lily (and Harry! Where's Harry? Does he still go to the Dursley's?). Her relationship with Marlene. Why weren't they talking? Why on god's green Earth would Sirius Crucio Marlene?? Why isn't he in Azkaban? AHH. SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Thankfully, I have nine more chapters waiting for me, wahey! Expect my fangirling self all over the place in the coming days. I'm so glad to be reading your fic again.

Which reminds me -- there's something about the pacing of this story and your character's voice that reminds me strongly of KC&CO. Please take this as the compliment it's meant to be, even though I'm comparing two vastly different stories. tldr; your writing is great all of the time and I'm already half in love with this and your main character. Hee. ♥

Author's Response: Okay, so I can't type as many characters as I want because of the limit here, but assume that this has like 87 As in it: VAAAL!!!

Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review. It really brightened my day!

Agh, I loved the graphic that mockingjay at TDA made for its spot in the featured stories. I need to find a way to casually use it in everyday life because I miss it now, hehe! It's funny you say "since I mentioned this story" because I remember us actually talking about it while picnicking at the Eiffel Tower, what a fun time!

As for Chloe's mother, I struggled for a long time whether to give her Alzheimer's or crippling paranoia (or both), and it's because Alzheimer's runs in my family and it's such a painful subject--so, naturally, I have to include it in the story and make everyone sad. Yes, her mother will eventually suffer from memory loss and confusion. And yes, they are both Muggles! Hence Chloe feeling very torn between two worlds.

Eeee I love that you have so many questions! That was a huge allure in making this an AU story, because for those readers who are very familiar with canon, I didn't feel that I could do anything interesting without diverging from what JKR has written. Plus I just??? I don't really care about breaking canon in fic? I guess that makes me terrible in some readers' eyes, but for me, it's much more interesting to read a reimagining of what has already happened than a canonical retelling of what I already know.

Ya know?

That's so funny that it reminds you of KC&CO! In my head as I was first planning this, I was like, Wow nobody who liked my first story is going to want to read this because they're so different. But that's reassuring that there are at least some similarities! Hopefully people won't be too terribly thrown off, then! Chloe definitely does have a sassy remark here and there--nowhere near Edie's caliber, dear God.

Thank you so much Val! You're the greatest ♥

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Review #2, by ValWitch21As Darkness Descends : Sunday Dinner

12th August 2017:

I only just saw all of these updates (and had to pinch myself) because I've been very bad at all things HPFF for the past four years but I'm so excited to read more of your writing!

Lily knows, yay! Sirius appears to be on an upwards curve! Remus, my precious dear, I love you so. And Peter, sigh - it's so odd to see him through Lily's eyes ("He's so cute") when we know what he does later. I'm already heartbroken and angry.

Speaking of heartbreak - Frank and Alice! The heartbreak, again, comes from what we know happens later and I don't want it to happen :( I can't believe that they're already married (and we weren't even privy to the ceremony, tut tut). I would love to read Augusta's reaction, she'll either bring the house down with anger or cry tears of joy.

Ahh. Okay. This was very rambly and excessively used exclamatiom marks but I AM EXCITED.

See you next week! ♥

Author's Response: Val! This review made me so happy. I've missed YOU so much! Hi! I'm almost finished with the next chapter and will get better about regular updates, lol! I may have to start posting solely on HPFT soon due to more adult content, but will let you know if that happens! Thanks for being so awesome and missing me despite my extended disappearance! I won't leave again! Lol!

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Review #3, by ValWitch21Keep Calm and Carry On: Makeshift

17th July 2014:
(This review is going to be a rambly catastrophe especially considering it's the first I type since Christmas.)


FINALLY, FINALLYYY, IT ONLY TOOK TWENTY FOUR CHAPTERS! Please do not make it go downhill from here or I will scream blue murder.

My happy flailing aside, I'm kind of sad because this is starting to look too much like the end for my liking. Can we please get at least one more Edie/Dean/Seamus scene? Plus cameos from Ada, Hypatia, and Lisa? I NEVER WANT TO SEE THIS STORY END, YOU SHOULD WRITE EDIVER UNTIL THEY'RE OLD AND WRINKLY AND SURROUNDED BY GRAND CHILDREN.

There are a few stories on this site where I think, 'oh, I wish there was fanfiction of this fanfiction'. This is one of those.

Please take as long as possible to update, so the story will last longer!

Author's Response: Val!! Hello!!!

I FELT A LOT LIKE SHOUTING WHILE WRITING THIS SO IT'S OKAY. I know, twenty-four chapters. AHHH. This is definitely the lengthiest thing I have ever written (other than the awful, never revised, rambling, 130-page stories I wrote as a ten year-old.) And I'm glad that somebody else is feeling a little queasy about getting to the end. This story is full of little bits that aren't necessary to the plot, and which could certainly stand to be removed. But I love writing this so much that I just keep adding and adding things so I can keep writing. Maybe that's a good thing?

Edie with children (and grandchildren!) Can you even imagine? She's had more than her share of motherhood with raising her brothers, I'm sure. But I see what you're saying and thank you, I would love to write twenty sequels to this, each one telling every completely menial thing in the daily lives of Edie, Oliver, Seamus, Dean, Hypatia, Rose, Justin, Lisa and I AM GOING TO MISS MY FAKE FRIENDS

Fanfiction for this fanfiction! You stop it. That is so sweet. Seriously, that's like the nicest thing ♥

Thank you so much Val! I'm so glad to see you back around HPFF!

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Review #4, by ValWitch21Taking the Biscuit: Changes

25th December 2013:
Hi, Marina! I still have twenty minutes before midnight in my time zone so MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ask him how you can beat Roxanne and I'm sure he'll think of something. She's an amateur, outcast lawyer with no qualifications and frizzy hair. It won't take much to knock her down.

The frizzy hair bit killed me. I'm laughing as I type and the more I think about it the harder I laugh so I'll move to something else before I start crying with laughter.

Rose and Matthew are a pairing I'm very undecided about. I do like them a lot, but at the same time I feel like the way Matthew loves Rose more than she does him isn't going to end well. And maybe I'm kind of hoping for Rose and Scorpius to happen, for tradition's sake? I don't know. Having written that, there are half a dozen reasons why it'd be a terrible idea that spring to mind, so let's pretend I never mentioned it.


"Just things," Hugo evaded. "Why do you care?"

I held up my hands defensively. "Look, I was only being interested in your life. Sorry."

This is such an accurate description of sibling dynamics, with inquiring big sisters and grouchy younger brothers… Hugo now looks like my brother in my head, woe is me.

Okay so I have to pause to fangirl about how very canon Ron and Hermione are. Even though this obviously a setting we've not seen them in over the course of the books, they feel like the characters JK wrote, so you get bonus points for that on top of the chapter being awesome.

"That sounds nice," I said. "Say hi to Paul for me."

I snorted in a very unladylike manner, very loud. Thank you for taking the last scraps of my self-esteem and shredding them further.


Seriously, Teddy? Seriously? Dishonour on you! Dishonour on your cow!

(It's late and I'm tired. I'm sorry. You can shout at me on Skype if this makes no sense.)


I'll be around on the thirtieth of December for more incoherent ramblings, be warned...

Author's Response: Val! You're so sweet! This review made me laugh so much. Damn right, dishonour on Teddy's cow. He can be such a jerk sometimes. He's just so oblivious.

I love writing Rose with her immediate family. Her brother is definitely inspired by mine and hopefully that keeps it realistic. He can be so frustrating sometimes.

Thank you so much, this has cheered up my Christmas no end :)

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Review #5, by ValWitch21The Girl from Slytherin : The Knowledge

31st October 2013:

I don't really know where to start my review, so this will just have to be all over the place (again).

Your description is the most flawless thing ever. I could quote every single line from this chapter and claim it as my favourite, except it wouldn't fit here.

Then there's Astoria's interactions (or lack thereof) with the world around her, that are perfect as well. This may sound slightly morbid, but what you wrote best (in my opinion) was her isolation and slow spiralling out at the beginning of this chapter.

Then, of course, I really loved the moment with Terry at the end. Need I say more? I do hope we learn more about what went wrong with the Obliviate charm though.

Oh! Also, I thought the interaction with Draco was really well done. It leaves space for canon to happen, but very subtly and without seeming out of place.

This was rather rambly, fangirly and all over the place, whoops... Good luck on NaNo! :)

Author's Response: Hi Val, thank you for this AMAZING review! :) It was such a great surprise and I'm super excited you've been sticking with the story! :D

Aw, you're too sweet! I do love lingering on the angsty description, and Tor really needed to get some thoughts of her chest. I'm glad you liked it, and the way the isolation was written! I felt sorry for her, but enjoyed imagining it.

I know, Terry is so great. There will definitely be more about the Obliviate and why it didn't work, and why Terry has been lying low for the past month letting Tor think it worked. He's still coming to terms with what happened, and even wants to punish her a little, but he still cares about her.

Yay, I loved writing the Draco scene! You're right, it's important to hint at canon and the future even though Malfoy isn't a huge part of her life right now. I like writing their interactions, Tor is always so snarky with him.

Thank you for this awesome review! NaNo will probably distract me greatly over the next month but I hope to have a new chapter up eventually. And thanks, NaNo is so much fun already! :D

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Review #6, by ValWitch21Gravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 5

21st October 2013:
Hi Jill!

I should have come back centuries ago and I am so ashamed I didn't... Feel free to toss whatever rotten vegetables you have lying around at my head.

My absolute favourite aspect of this chapter is the interactions between all the characters, be they canon or not. I loved the beginning section describing the Burrow waking up. It reminded me a little of the beginning of CoS, with Molly fretting over breakfast, Arthur's enthusiasm about the Muggle world at the the ungodly hours of the morning, and the twins being sassy despite their sleepiness. Mentioning Ginny and Hermione Sleeping was quite sweet too, and provided an unconventional insight into their personalities: Hermione is made to appear quite secretive and self-protective even in her sleep, while Ginny takes up space, which I find normal. As the youngest of seven siblings, I'd probably try to remind others of my existence in every way possible.

The image of Ron, Fred, George and Harry all sitting bedraggled (is that a word?) at the kitchen table was also one that made me smile.

Then, there's the moment between Bill and Sadie at the end which had my poor little heart melt into a mushy pile of feels. This is the type of characterisation of Bill that makes me understand why Fleur would have fallen in love with him (and also the type of characterisation I like to shove into people's faces when they say Bill was only interested by Fleur's looks).

It's been a while since I've read GoF, so I'm only confused about where Percy and Charlie are? Percy stayed at the Burrow, yes? In my defense, it's midnight in my time zone so if this is incoherent and babbly you can blame it on sleep deprivation.

This was another absolutely fantastic chapter! The next one, I suppose, will be about the irruption of Death Eaters in the campment. Considering how badly the Quidditch match stressed Sadie, I'm terrified in advance for her and what she'll feel like in the next chapter, no matter how long it takes to be posted. I'll be waiting here while you complete your anti-NaNo month!

Author's Response: Hey there! No worries about not coming back earlier. Look at how slow I am responding to your amazing review. I totally understand getting burried by real life. Besides, the only rotten veggies I have lying around are the sad looking pumpkins still on my front porch, and those are too heavy to toss. *wink*

Oh, and before I forget, Happy Birthday yesterday.

I'm so glad you are liking all the characters interacting in this story! That was one of the things I was most worried about - integrating this new character in without it changing everything. But, I can't take complete credit for that cozy start to the day at the Burrow; most of that was set in motion by JKR in the book. I just had to carefully dance around it and do it from a different POV. I did put in the parts about the girls sleeping, and the twins not being quite awake, so thanks. :D

And if bedraggled isn't a word, my life just got a little sadder. Cause I like that word.

Has your heart recovered from it's mushy puddle yet? That's probably a dangerous state to be in - I don't want to be responsible for lasting damage... BUT, I am so glad you liked the section with Bill and Sadie! I like to think Bill is pretty mature and grounded. After all, he's the oldest child, and he has a job that takes brains and skill, as well as being a bit of a thrill. I'm sure Bill was at first attracted to Fleur for many reasons, and her looks were probably part of it, but of course there was more to it than just that.

Sorry to confuse you about Percy and Charlie. They are there, at the match, promise. I just didn't really use them in the plot here, so they are kind of existing in the background. I skipped the parts where they were in the conversation because I didn't want to just rehash what JKR already did.

So glad you liked it! And yes, you are right in your prediction. Chapter 6 is all about the mob attack, and it's finally up, so if you are still interested, take a peek. It also contains a pretty big reveal as far as Sadie's past goes.

Thanks for reading! You rock!

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Review #7, by ValWitch21Gravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 4

20th September 2013:
Hi Jill!

Oh, it makes me so sad not to be able to read on, because I'm really hooked to this story now.

Sadie is a fascinatingly complex character, and not just because she's unable to speak or because she's had a difficult life up to this point. What I particularly love is how innocent she is, despite everything she's been through. The scene in the previous chapter where she marvels over her shoes and her skirt made me want to reach through the screen to hug her.

Harry and his understanding of what his cousin has been through also makes me adore this story. I like the idea of the two of them having a connection other than that of blood, and I'm happy that the possibility of them being a couple has been taken away. Them being cousins makes it much mor interesting in terms of character development, in my opinion.

Once more, I've also got to comment on how canon everyone is. The only thing I'm not too sure of, however, is Percy -- he's perhaps a little too detached and bored by the situation? I'm not quite sure, as he was quite the snob until the end of DH, but I think he'd be polite enough to nod stiffly at Sadie when he leaves, or something along those lines.

I'm really impatient to see the characters start Hogwarts, especially as I've just remembered that this is the year of the Triwizard Tournament! Now to add this story to my favourites.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm so sorry I've been so slow responding to your wonderful review! I don't know if you noticed my blog on the forums or not, but real life has been a bit of a beast lately.

The grin on my face because you said you are hooked is really very big. :D Thanks! And just so you know, there has been one more chapter posted now, so if you want to read on, you can. That said, I am sad to say I'm going to be taking a two month break from writing to catch up on some real life stuff. But come December, I will be back!

I am SO happy that you think Sadie is a good, complex character. I was terrified when I posted it that she would be seen as a Mary Sue. Reviews like this help me let go of that fear a bit.

I like Sadie's innocence. It was one of those things I was afraid would make people cry Mary Sue, but it was so much a part of her character, I really wanted to keep it. Now I'm glad I did. I'm so glad you like it!

The idea of Sadie and Harry together as a couple is so insane in my mind, simply because from the moment I started this story, she was his cousin. But, I can see how readers might have thought I was setting that up from the first few chapters. I laugh a little every time someone says "yeah, they aren't going to be together!" Poor Harry. People must be really against him getting an OC girl. hehehehe

But I am excited to see how their relationship as cousins develops as I write it. You're right in that their pasts will give them a way to connect, but hopefully they can form something more than just that as their relationship.

Thanks for the canon compliment. I really did try hard. As for Percy - you're probably right. Some of this story was written a long time ago. I've gone back and edited it a great deal, but I think Percy slipped through the cracks. Over the years I've developed a soft spot for Percy, but when I was first writing I didn't really know what to do with him. I think this chapter still reflects that. I will try to make up for it in the future. :)

Thanks so much for reading! I hope you continue to follow the story and enjoy it! This was a great review!

AH, a favorite! You are wonderful!

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Review #8, by ValWitch21This Devilry: Chapter One

15th September 2013:
Hello, Amanda! I know I still need to get back to you on Spies, Memoirs of an Object and Post Scriptum, but this story deserves to be christened.

First of all, allow me a moment to fangirl over the fact that I have a new novella of yours to follow. I'm not quite on the PS train yet, because I've been so sporadic in my reading of it, and DiC is over, so I feel like me properly following your stories hasn't been as important these past few weeks as it used to be, which makes me sad. However, now there is this, and I am ridiculously excited about it!

What makes it even better is that it's potential canon. I've flailed time and time again about how canon your writing is, and how perfect your characterisations are, so this makes me love this story even more. The internet has made me appreciate Ginny slightly less than I did before, but I can't wait to see you explore her character, precisely because it's you.

The possibility of Ginny being mentally ill is one I don't think I've ever seen before. It's so easy to forget that she was possessed at the age of eleven because of the fact that it barely seems to have affected her afterwards, but I love (for lack of a better verb) that you've made it such an important part of her life as an adult, because it makes a lot more sense than her moving on entirely. The part about her having memory loss made me worry about the way this will affect her as a mother.

Randomly throwing thoughts on the screen (because I'm not doing a run-on review), I find it interesting that James is being home-schooled. I know that it's apparently quite common in the wizarding world, but again, I'm not sure I've ever seen a story where the scene is actually written out.

I hope that was a hallucination. It can't be Voldemort, can it? Knowing you, I'm going to stand my guard because otherwise I'll probably end up in the same state of panic and incapacity to distinguish reality from illusions as Ginny, and that wouldn't be a good thing.

Congratulations on such a fabulous first chapter, I'm already on the edge of my seat waiting for your next update!

Author's Response: Hi Val! Thanks for stopping by :)

I'm excited that you're excited! I always love your reviews, sporadic or otherwise, and I'm thrilled to see what you think of this story as it continues--as well as feeling serious pressure to produce really good work now!

I'm only three chapters in so far and I already find myself rethinking how I feel about Ginny. I think there is a lot of unexplored territory with her characterization, and I hope to investigate those aspects, including the ones in her past with the possession and her current state as a slightly disgruntled housewife.

I totally agree that it seems like Ginny's possession was really minimized and forgotten about in the canon plot. I can't imagine just heading back to school the next year after having endured something like that, and all because of power plays between adults that I couldn't really understand. We'll have to see as the story unfolds just how much damage Tom Riddle has done to her.

I don't know a whole lot about home-schooling, so I just gave it my best shot with James. I did want to explore those mundane parts of motherhood and the notion that Ginny really does love her kids despite what becoming a mother has cost her professionally.

Hah, I'd keep that guard up if I were you! The scares are only just beginning...

Thanks for your truly wonderful review!


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Review #9, by ValWitch21Destroy Me : Poisonous

15th September 2013:
*slinks in, red in the face with embarrassment because this review is a month and a half late*


Right, onto this story. Well, I've got to admit that though this is the sixth or seventh time I've read it, I'm still left confused until I read the last few paragraphs.

The fact that she, you and Victoire only come together as one person at the end is brilliantly done. It's extremely difficult to associate the you to a character -- the first time I read this, I was persuaded it referred to Teddy (then again, it was two in the morning), before realising that it was Victoire, which didn't make sense because she was obviously Victoire to me. In the midst of my brain trying to piece everything together, what really stood out was the use of 'we': it made it clear that one could not exist independantly of the other, which, again, the ending confirms.

Am I rambling? I probably am, but it's your writing's fault. This is your most brain-teasing piece ever, and I'm really struggling to write something coherent enough to show my appreciation.

Another aspect that I really like is how inherently dark you make Victoire. She's very Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, but with Hyde clearly more proeminent. And yet despite this, I still feel more sorry for her than anything else.

Just to make sure -- what Victoire is suffering from is schizophrenia, yes? If yes, then I just want to shake my head desperately at the fact that you can also write mental illnesses (I'll add that to my list of things not to write because I wouldn't pull it off nearly as well you did); and if not, then just ignore me crawling into a hole.

GAH. I feel like I'm not making any sense here, and that plus the fact this review is really late makes me feel horrible.

*offers cookies for forgiveness, and runs off to review ADD*

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Review #10, by ValWitch21Tangled Web: Chapter Twenty-Three: Dinner at the Burrow

9th September 2013:

This chapter was amazing, I really loved it. I'm not normally a big fan of Dramiones, but yours is definitely one I'm wiling to make an exception for.

The only theory concerning Teddy that I can come up with is that one of the Weasley women is pregnant -- children tend to have unjustified bbursts of jealousy when they realise there's going to be a new addition to the family (I'm speaking out of experience). Somehow, though, I think it's less trivial than that. I will see!

Now, onto some nitpicking about the French (I hope you don't mind).

"Yes, I studied French all my life," Draco replied. "When I was younger, I spent every summer there." -- "Oui, j'ai etudie le francais toute ma vie. (...) Quand j'etais plus jeune, j'y passais tous mes etes."

"Oh! How wonderful that you can speak so fluently!” Fleur gushed. "It is very rare that I could speak my native language with someone here." -- "Oh! C'est merveilleux que vous le parliez couramment! (...) C'est tres rare que je puisse parler ma langue maternelle avec quelqu'un ici."

Fleur shot him a withering look. "He's just jealous that he could not speak a beautiful language," she quipped haughtily. -- "Il est juste jaloux de ne pas pouvoir parler une belle langue."

"So let me explain what I plan to do to you later..." he mumbled softly. -- "Laisse-moi t'expliquer ce que je prevois de te faire plus tard..."

Quick explanation: 'tu' is the familiar form, whereas 'vous' is more polite, hence why I left the 'vous' form for Fleur adressing Draco. I wasn't able to provide the accents for any of the above translations, unfortunately...

I'm really sorry to be picky, it's like a chronic disease or something.

Apart from those, this truly was an awesome chapter!

Author's Response: hello!

so, the french bit was taken from google translate...lol I can't speak a lick of french, unfortunately. but thanks so much for fixing it. I'll go through and edit the chapter with your revisions. I knew that vous was formal but I wasn't sure how to be informal. thanks again for that!!

I'm so glad you like my dramione! it makes me so happy when people take the time out to read it when they normally wouldn't and tell me that they like it. and as for Teddy, you'll have to wait and see. your theory is...interesting...and very plausible. and that's all I'm saying for now lol.

thanks for taking the time to review! it means a lot :)

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Review #11, by ValWitch21Honour Among Thieves: the trial, some secrets and an escape plan

8th September 2013:

My goodness, I think I need to keep in mind that if I want inspiration for an action scene, I need to come back to this chapter. The stress in the whole escape from the Ministry passage was just too much to handle. Right now, I honestly feel like I held my breath for the whole chapter, zooming until I was sure they were safe.

(Safe being relative because you like plot twists and putting your characters through turbulences far too much than is healthy for them, and for us too.)

I love Rose and Scorpius together more than it should be allowed, even though there's nothing concrete between them yet. ALAS, SUCH IS LIFE.

Right so Louisa. I'm not sure if it's because she sounds like a cranky, pampered child, or because of the pale blue ruffles, but I don't like her very much. But -- insert ladylike sniff of disapproval here -- I will tolerate her, I suppose, because I'm curious about her and Scorpius' backstory.

Onto the next chapters!

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Review #12, by ValWitch21Honour Among Thieves: tears, panicking and a pathetic -yet successful- dating plan

8th September 2013:
That scene with Rose and Lorcan at the beginning is one of my favourite scenes in this entire story. I also entirely agree with them: there was more than enough space for Jack on the raft. That being said, I didn't cry when he died: it seemed so silly after everything he'd managed to survive that I was just cursing the director.

RIGHT. My life anecdotes aside, I don't feel like this chapter was that fillery. It allowed us a more in-depth vision of Rose's relationships, which is good for her character development.

Oh, before I leave, another thing I loved was the moment with all the voicemails. It's Murphy's law, Rose, you can't do anything about it!

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Review #13, by ValWitch21Honour Among Thieves: an introduction, a party and the beginnings of a plan

8th September 2013:
Hello again, Jenny!

I'm here on a mission to get your story to three hundred reviews. Hence, reviews might be a little short. Apologies in advance.

You know, I remember that when I started reading this a few months ago, I'd fangirled myself silly over your introduction paragraphs. Today, it's still the same.

I love how matter of fact Rose is about the situation she and her family (and Lorcan, Lysander and Scorpius) are in. She's so nonchalant and dismissive and sassy. Clearly, I can't say 'I'm going to like her' because I've read the twenty plus following chapters, but this reminds me why I started liking her in the first place.

Moving on to chapter two!

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Review #14, by ValWitch21Final Call: Final Call

8th September 2013:
This is probably the worse stab in the feels I've had for a while. Petunia's excitement was so real, so raw and tangbible, and everything was ripped away from her for the second time in the space of a few hours.

Most of the time, I don't sympathise with her as a character. Here, however, I felt so, so terrible for her. I'm just sitting here trying to tell myself that she's a fictional character and that it's okay, but it isn't working.

What I really admire is how suddenly her happiness stops. When I realised she didn't have her passport, it's as if I'd started breathing again after holding my breath for so long. Gah, this whole one-shot really reduces me to a messy pile of sad feels.

Excellent work, I suppose, though I don't like being sad like this!

Author's Response: I never used to sympathize with either; I just figured that she had a lot more going on then just being snooty. I tried to ask myself how I would feel if I didn't get to go to Hogwarts and my siblings did. I'd be crushed and jealous too. This review is so sweet and insightful; I really appreciate it. I was wondering the whole time I was writing this if I could actually get people into this story, so it's nice to know that it worked on someone!

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Review #15, by ValWitch21Honour Among Thieves: the end (part one)

8th September 2013:
I can't believe this is the end already, it feels like I started reading HAT only a few days ago!

ALSO. Yesterday, I'd stopped at 'We were in', thinking that what followed was an author's note. (In my defense, I was exhausted.) So, rereading today and discovering that in fact I had the brain cells of a dead frog when I'm tired and that the chapter wasn't finished made my day!

There are so many things I wish I could provide a thoughtful analysis of, but unfortunately my inner fangirl has locked my reasonable persona away so this will rather consist of a serie of squees.


Brotherly / sisterly / cousiny relationships and their dynamics. I understand Rose and James' apprehensions about seeing their younger siblings step into the fight -- I'm a big sister as well -- but it's good nonetheless that Hugo and Lily will be attacking as well. In their position, I'd hate to stay behind.

GAH. Those extracts from the letters at the end are reducing to a blubbering mush, especially the 'I'll see you both soon...' We don't know who's saying what, but I have a bad feeling that not everyone will make it out alive.

I can't wait for the final chapter, even though that means that this story will be coming to a close. Perhaps pirate Marauders will help me get over it?

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Review #16, by ValWitch21The Spider's Web: 1. First Day

7th September 2013:
Hi Jenny! I'm finally here to fill my side of the bargain.

I feel so sorry for Lily. The opening paragraph made me a little dizzy, and you got the sense of being overwhelmed by the chaos very clear, along with the stress of a first day. On top of that, you add the heat, the rumours of nepotism, and the fact that she might as well be stuck in an elephant stampede, which made me want to hug her even more. In her place, I'd probably have run out screaming.

I hate the feeling of insignificance Lily feels at the beginning. You walk into a place, and people consider that they have a right to trample all over you. Her questionings about doing the right thing and taking up her father's offer struck a nerve (is that the phrase?) and again, I'm connecting with Lily on so many levels here.

Lily's boss, at first glance, seems like a nice person, but he's a little too out-going for my taste so I'm not sure I like him. Besides, he seems interested in Lily's arrival only because she's a Potter, which makes him a lot less genuine and friendly. Bridget, on the other hand, immediately comes across as snooty and unfriendly. I really like that you've got these well-defined characters, as I can only assume they'll be increasingly important to the story as the plot moves on.

Daww, Hugo is adorable, trying to cheer Lily up. Please let us see more of him in the coming chapters! Having already read on and knowing of Lily and Hermione's relationship, I'm curious of how Rose fits in. She sounds a bit like Percy did in the books, patronising and with a high image of herself. Again, not sure I really like her.

The other Weasley cousins haven't been present enough yet for me to full appreciate their personalities, but from what I've seen so far, I quite like them. Overall, this was a great first chapter, and I'm eagerly awaiting your next update.

(Also, I really am so, so sorry for the time it took me to get back to you.)

Author's Response: Val! *hugs* don't even worry about it, RL is more important!

I'm pleased you got the hectic sense of the Ministry from my description! I thought it was really important to set the scene before introducing a wide-eyed and bushy-tailed Lily. It's definitely quite a trying workplace to thrive in!

I wanted to get across how Lily wants to fight her own corner because she kind of has to with all the people who will assume she got her job because of her dad. If you're connecting with Lily then that at least means I'm making her relatable! Happy times :P

Ernie is definitely a... character, and I'm really pleased you actually aren't too sure of him, haha. Some people have said that he reminds them of Slughorn! Bridget is really fun to write and is definitely not easily impressed like Ernie! They certainly will be important as time goes on :)

I can confirm that Hugo will be involved somewhat in the story, at least I'll try to include him where I can! :P I wouldn't say Rose is an entirely likeable character either, and she'll be important in later chapters too - more so than any other cousin.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

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Review #17, by ValWitch21Bits and Pieces: A Magic Moment- a James Potter and Lily Evans Story, of sorts

31st July 2013:
Hi again!

I don't think I've ever read a story where you actually see the Marauders becoming Animagi, so that already makes me love this chapter.

Then there's James' train of thought that is perfectly fitting with my vision of him. The moment where he doesn't want Peter to manage himan transfiguration before him made him very real --no matter how close-knit the four boys are, they're still competitive.

The whole moment with Lily made me smile, then laugh when she stomped away, persuaded that James had ruined the moment. There are too many stories where she screams at him for no reason, but here her anger was (to a point) justified, as she obviously couldn't know James was the stag.

Also, the line about him not being her type really made me laugh, as we all know how that goes!

Author's Response: This was so much fun to write. I always wondered what it was like when they were working on the animagi transformation. They're boys, so you know it was a competition. I hate the Lily hates James thing in a lot of stories. I always imagine his immaturity just irritated her a bit , and then one day he grew up. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing!~GW

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Review #18, by ValWitch21Bits and Pieces: Through the Fog-an Arthur and Molly Weasley story

31st July 2013:
This made me so, so sad -- it's been a while since I've read something focused on the Weasley family right after Fred's death, which makes this all the more painful.

The best aspect of this chapter, in my opinion, is your depiction of the emotions felt by the characters. I think this moved me closer to tears than Fred's death itself, because of how clearly grieving Arthur and Molly are. Fred's death was lost, in a way, amongst the chaos of the final battle, whereas here it is just Arthur and Molly, in a familiar setting, and that is why this was so heart-breakingly beautiful.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. Having lived through this and watching a couple try to piece their lives together after the death of a child, I felt it gave me an advantage to writing Arthur and Molly here. Fred's death was one of so many during the war, and nobody had time to properly mourn him at that moment. When it is all over, I imagine the grief finds everyone in their own way. I appreciate the review so much! Thanks again. ~GW

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Review #19, by ValWitch21Careful What You Wish For: Two of Cups

31st July 2013:
Hi Courtney!

This story has been on my favourites list since the beginning, but I haven't had a chance to review. There was too much in this chapter for me to comment for me not to review though, so here I am.

I really, really like Dani and the dynamics she has with her friends and siblings. Your portrayal is realistic, and I like how normal you've made her. I also love that you've managed to characterise Kat and Dani differently, while still showing that they are twins.

So I am already shipping Daniver, if you really must know. I don't know if it's done on purpose, but the way Dani comments on Oliver's jaw, for example, or how she notices very small shifts in his attitude, has me deeply rooting for them.

Would I be wrong if I said he is already interested in her? The way he frowned when she wouldn't tell him about who she had her eyes on, and the way he refused to tell her as well makes me think so.


I'm not leaving a run-on review so this is all over the place, but Angus. Ravenclaw had better kick Slytherin's behind, and as I don't remember my canon facts it will be a surprise. Those Slytherins' attitude, and Snape's even more so, is disgusting in the sense that it's really unfair. It makes me want to shout profanities at the screen.

Right, and on that extremely ladylike note, I will be lurking around for chapter four!

Author's Response: Hey there! It's nice to see you back - I was absent for a little while.

I'm really glad you like Dani! Yes, I was definitely aiming for a normal sort of portrayal, with no features that are too over the top or melodramatic OR stereotypical. Which can sometimes be a kinda hard balance to get right. And Kat and Dani are sort of complete opposites, but at the same time, are very similar. If that makes any sense at all.

Daniver! OMG, that is an amazing shipping name - I am totally stealing it, thank you for that!

Poor Angus:( I probably shouldn't say this about my own characters but he's so adorable and innocent - I just want to give him a snuggle!

Thank you for the lovely review!

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Review #20, by ValWitch21The Peverell Society: 1. Beginnings

30th July 2013:
Hi Ral!

I am beyond excited to see you take on a longer project again, especially one that includes Rose and Scorpius. The best part is knowing that they're already together, and therefore I can shush my shipping feels grumbling about unresolved sexual tension.

Did that sentence even make sense? Probably not, it's nearing midnight and my appointed 'Val stop babbling' time.

ANYWAY. Ron makes me shake my head disapprovingly in this chapter. In a sense, I like that his animosity towards Scorpius is less obvious than in some other stories (well, Ron thinks he's subtle anyway), but I'm a bit sad to see him so firmly opposed to him. I suppose he'll come around at some point, I just wish he wasn't so stubborn.

Rose creeping up on Scorpius at the beginning of this chapter was adorable. ♥ You are going to hear me ramble about these two quite a bit, so I hope you're prepared!

Adding this to my favourites now, so expect me fangirling about. And, again, good luck on those exams of your! ♥

Author's Response: You are my first reviewer! I am so excited!

Part of taking on this project was writing about the relationship that is developing between those two! But rest assured, it's not going to be THAT simple! :P

I actually wanted Ron to freak out. Not because he doesn't like Scorpius Malfoy as a person, but because the concept of Malfoy and his daughter is strange and sudden for him. Being stubborn is one of Ron's best qualities after all. And he does have the emotional range of a teaspoon, so Rose can't really make the "Daddy, I love him" argument in front of him.

Thank you for the lovely review and for being excited with me for this! Ă¢Â™Â¥

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Review #21, by ValWitch21Before They Fall: The Force That Drives Us

27th July 2013:

As it turns out, I never reviewed the previous chapter. I just can't. It physically hurts me to go back to it, so it will stay as such because I probably won't ever get over the fact that Belle is dead.

The beginning of this chapter has got to be one of my favourite moments in the entire story. Not because it's fluffy or cheerful or anything, because it most certainly isn't, but because (and I'm sorry I use this word so much) it is so raw it hurts.

I'm going to cut short because I really am not thinking straight right now -- I don't think I've come to terms with the idea of this being over yet -- but before that, I really feel like I need to tell you again how amazed I am that this has come so far, and that I'm incredibly impressed with what you've achieved by writing this story. Anyone who disagrees deserves to suffer the same fate as Alrek.

(Also, somewhere in the middle of my emotionally affected brain, a small voice is shouting that I was right about Belle's parents not turning up, but her sister yes. I did share that theory with you, correct? Or did I just think it very loud?)

The seventeenth of August seems so far away... I'll be waiting for you there, of course.

♥ ♥ ♥


Awww Val &heats; don't worry -- if you don't review that means i don't have to respond to a sad sad Val review, and since I don't like a sad Val that seems like a good deal all around :P

Hahahahah oh Val ♥ you make me smile so, so much. And yes! I do think you called Belle's parents not turning up but her sister instead! And you were totally right ♥ Her sister might play a very small part in book two, as well ;).

Oh lovely. Thank you so much for being there for me through this book, for your support, for your awesome reviews, for listening to me when I whine, and just for completely making me feel like I wrote something *good*. You are amazing ♥

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Review #22, by ValWitch21Breaking Even: A New Position

22nd July 2013:
Super Kiana has already typed out her review, so I am here to claim the hundredth review on this story!

This is giving me an amount of feels that should be considered illegal. I don't know what hurts me the most: James and Lily's death nearing, or Severus still believing he's doing this for Lily.

Fun fact: when I like him he's Severus, when he irritates me he's Snape. I debated what to type here, because both sounded off to me.

Hopefully, this gives you an indication of how mixed my reactions to this chapter are.

It makes me so sad to know there are only ten chapter left. I'll be saying this again at the end, but this story has been a fixed point in my life for the past year, and I'm not sure what I'll do when it's over! ♥

Author's Response: Thank you so much for being the 100th reviewer! ♥ That really does mean so much to me -- and I can't tell you how happy I am that you're still reading this story. I got so many feels writing these last ten chapters of the book, even without them being the LAST (that was just icing on the depression cake). I would apologize for giving them to you in return... but I'm not terribly sorry, because I do strive to make you feel!

I feel like Severus/Snape is a distinctive difference. :) Severus loves Beth, after all! ♥ Or did before his memories went blooey, anyway. And then there's Snape, who's portrayed throughout all of canon as being this heartless guy, and then at the end we read one chapter and he's totally redeemed (well, not totally), and I just love him.

I cannot even fathom what I'm going to do when this story is over. Like... what. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THE END IS NEAR. ♥ Again, thank you so much for reviewing, Val! I really hope you're enjoying the story, and I'm so pleased you're still around to leave your thoughts.

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Review #23, by ValWitch21Love Rules: Love rule #22

20th July 2013:
Hi! Sorry for not reviewing the previous chapter.

As nonsensical as this sounds, I'm very happy Rose is arguing with her parents. It finally shows that she's back to being a teenager (alright, almost, but you get my point).

The way she's surprisingly acceptant of Scorpius makes me very happy too.

I can't wait to see what happens to Trumpleton, as horrible a human being that makes me, and how Rose will cope with her return to Hogwarts. I wonder how people are going to react to her, especially.

Great chapter again!

Author's Response: Hi lovely, that's okay!

I know, I was really pleased to write the fighting chapter. She needed it, at least to be shown how lame she's been.

I don't think she's accepting of Scorpius as such, more like... resigned. She can't really do anything about him being there.

Her return to Hogwarts is being written right now! Yay! Thanks so much for another lovely review. See you next chapter!

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Review #24, by ValWitch21A Promise: A Promise

18th July 2013:
Three reasons why this story makes me melt.

Pernanent. Uncle Hawee. My lawful leaded wife till death do us heart.

This is just too cute. Everything, from Teddy collecting stones and wanting to make his godfather proud, to the awkward lip-mushing, is perfect.

I'm being reminded of childhood moments here, especially with the 'eww' moments concerning sticky hands and spit. Despite these (which out of context sound even worse), or actually maybe because of these, this is really a lovely one-shot that makes me ship Teddy/Victoire even more than I already do.

Oh! And I just realised who wrote this -- you again! No wonder it's this good.

Author's Response: Well I was definitely going for the cutenes factor in this, so I'm glad that it made you melt!

I think we all had childhoods like this. It's so strange to think that there are some things which are universal of kids. I love exploring that and I'm glad you were able to see that!

Oh, shush, you! Haha. You really are too kind!

Thanks so much for your review!

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Review #25, by ValWitch21And Now A Word From Our Sponsors: One

17th July 2013:
So, I said I wanted Next Gen, and here I am. SURPRISE!

I think it's the sixth or seventh time I come back to this, and it was about time I actually reviewed.

Your Rose is probably my favourite Rose ever, and lord knows how many of those there are. Now, I don't usually laugh aloud when I read, but this has me wheezing like a dying sea lion from beginning to end.

I will spare you my desperate interrogations on whether there is anything you cannot write, because this seems to say that no, you can write anything, and too bad for me.

And I will be back soon for chapter two to enjoy more Rose sass, awkward Hugo and Scorpius bashing!

Author's Response: I had no idea you'd read this before! ♥ This was such a fun story to write, and I really would like to try writing a sequel for it; I've got one all mapped out, but just haven't sat down to do it yet.

I'm so happy you like Rose! She's a hoot and a half, and she's drawn a lot from the way Sarah wrote her in an old story of hers (that is, sadly, since taken down from her page). I kind of suck at writing humor, and so this was a challenge, but I'm very pleased I got you laughing anyway. :)

You are too nice! ♥ I'm sorry this response really sucked, but I'm just really thrilled that this story got some new reviews for the Cup, and that you really did seem to enjoy it. Thank you for reviewing!

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