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Reading Reviews From Member: DumbledoresArmyOfOne
156 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneDevilish Delights, Wicked Ends: XIX. Revenge

23rd November 2014:
Yes! Finally Antigone is getting some action. I love that I'm always surprised, every chapter, by the new ways you manage to twist the plot. Most cases, I barely see it coming! Things are getting really nasty now and I can hardly wait to read more.
Awesome chapter :)

Author's Response: Yes, you'd think she deserves it after all this time... but after taking a backseat for a while, I promise Antigone comes very much to the forefront of the action. And hehe I'm so happy this story still keeps you on your toes :D It wouldn't be half as fun if it didn't. Thank you so much for reviewing and I hope you continue to enjoy :)

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Review #2, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneFluorescent Adolescent : some aloe vera?

23rd November 2014:
Just want to pop in and let you know that I worship your dialogue writing. Seriously, it's amazing.
Also, i'm loving that your putting some serious issues into this story now... it really picks it up and the plot is really moving now so good job :)

Author's Response: ah thank you so so so much! i'm really happy you're liking it! u rock my sox xx

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Review #3, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneRabbit Heart: 10. Losing Heart

20th April 2014:
Oh my goodness! Vampire rabbits serving their evil overlord. This is the best plot twist ever. I'm so scared for Wren and her dangerous affection for the insidious Bunny. I'd love to see more of Albus and james' prank war though, to lighten things up.

Every chapter gets me more and more anxious about poor Wren, who really has been through quite enough at this point :(

I hope her life starts to pick up soon. In the meantime, at least I have your awesome writing and worship-worthy plotting skills to look forward too. Thanks for the awesome story!

Author's Response:

Awww, you flatter me!!

I love plots. And twists. When the plots and twists come together, I love them even more. Don't worry. This story is riddled with the James/Albus prank war. There's more of that coming up every few chapters. I hope you enjoy that subplot as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)

Yes, Wren gets very anxious, and things are not easy for her. She really has been through enough, but I'm not done with her yet.

What an awesome review! Thank you so much for coming by and peeking in at my crazy story!


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Review #4, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneFluorescent Adolescent : saturdays

14th March 2014:
I really love Mikey and Effy together but I feel like they're not going to end up together but they're so cute and I love them. sigh.

The dancing was so much fun to read- I love your descriptions and It made me want to dance!

Awesome chapter :)

Author's Response: omgomgomg your reviews are just making my day! i'm smiling so much, awh thank you! and we'll see about mikey and effy (lol jk i have no idea whats happening there i'm still writing my way through chapter 6) bea xx

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Review #5, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneFluorescent Adolescent : communism in mermish

14th March 2014:
Ah I love how realistically you write highschool like literally every scene you describe I'm like, yeah, that could happen. So yeah, thanks for actually making what you write plausible and for these awesome characters.
Can Oscar be my best friend?

Author's Response: i'm so glad you think this is accurate- i'm still in the british high school so all i write is experience (as experienced as i can get, because i don't go to boarding school and i'm not magic hahaha) but yeah ahhh so happy it's relatable!! bea xx

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Review #6, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneFluorescent Adolescent : crushed moon extract

14th March 2014:
Hey there!

Just thought you should know that this chapter is so good! Your writing style is really unique and generally great, which makes this type of storyline stand out :)

Great beginning!
(and I love the title oh so very much)

Author's Response: thanks so much!! and wow, are you into the arctic monkeys too? bea xx

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Review #7, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 2

23rd December 2013:
Hey Farmgirl!

Hi, how are you etc.

Thanks for another unsurprisingly awesome chapter! I love this story more and more the more I read :)

I have only good comments, yet again.

First of all, the scene over the dinner table was so wonderful. Your characterization of Fred and George and Ginny was particularly good - I especially like Fred and George's reactions to Ginny's deviousness later on in the chapter. I had one of those 'I can't believe it's not Canon!' moments.

That being said, something seemed a bit off with Charlie and Bill. They both only had one line each, but they seemed a tad forced or maybe too earnest. That may just be me though.

Excellent line about Muggles being as cruel as wizards. There's often a loss of perspective when talking about Voldemort, a magical being of pretty much pure evil, and I'm glad you called up that comparison as there are definitely muggles who are just as bad if not worse (Hitler being the obvious comparison). A really thought provoking line, I think.

The only other nitpicky thing is that you said Harry was unaware of the magical world for the first twelve years of his life, even though he got his Hogwarts letter shortly after his eleventh birthday.

Another fantastic chapter. I don't really have anything else to say


Author's Response: Hello! I'm so incredibly sorry for the delay in responding to this! Life just gets away from me sometimes and I have to step back from online stuff. And then when I come back, I'm so far behind it takes AGES to catch up.

Anyway, what a fun review! Thank you so much for this! I'm so happy people are enjoying this weird story of mine!

A "I can't believe it's not Canon" moment? Really! WOW, thanks! I'm so honored! I was trying really, really hard to create that feeling, but it's so hard and you never know how people will react.

Charlie and Bill. It was probably a product of me going, "Oh, they haven't said anything for a while, I'd better include them." I'll have to be more careful in the future in big scenes like that. At least they got lines. I realized after posting that Ginny doesn't get one line at dinner. Oopsie again.

Did I really write 12 years? Darn it. I'm gonna have to go back and edit that. That's just a mistake, plain and simple. Thanks for catching it!

Thanks again for reading! Hope you'll come back for more now that I'm active again.

- Farmgirl

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Review #8, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneCareful What You Wish For: Two of Cups

13th December 2013:
Hi! I'm so sorry I've taken... what, almost a month? with this review.

I really like the third chapter! I think it's my favourite so far in your story. Angus is quickly becoming my favourite character, just because of this chapter- the poor boy.

Really solid description and detail all around, great characters so far and enough plot to keep it going, albeit slowly. I like that you're taking your time to build up (presumably) to the action, so we can acclimatize ourselves to the setting and characters before you start to play havoc with their lives.

You may want to re-read, as I did catch two or three spelling/grammar errors ( ex. Oliver sniggered, not very subtlety. "Katrina's my sister." - should probably say subtly ) but otherwise a very strong chapter.

Love he portrayal of Trelawney and the INTRIGUE with the two of cups card ;)

"Who've you got your eye on," I love that xD

Awesome chapter, and again, I'm sorry for the slow response!

Author's Response: Hey there! And haha, don't worry about it at all!

Oh, thank you so much! Yeah, I have a soft spot for Angus muself!

Thanks for pointing that out - I've edited this chapter two times already, but something ALWAYS seems to escape my attention!

And I'm glad you like my characterization of Trelawney! I always worry about writing canon characters, especially minor ones!

Thank you for the great review!


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Review #9, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneHarry Potter and the Curse of the Incas (Book 8): Chapter 2. The Dursleys Discharged

2nd December 2013:
Hey there! NaNo is over and I have time to breathe and read again!

So here is your requested review!

First of all HOLY CHARACTERIZATION BATMAN! I mean, wow, you've hit the Golden Trio right on the head. I don't know how you stole JKR's brain (and those of her characters) but you're certainly using it wisely.

Everything from Harry's guilt and restlessness to Ron's ears turning pink at whatever Hermione (naughty thing) wrote in that letter was so spot on and I am really impressed.

I loved the scene at the Ministry! The way Harry is still so uncomfortable with his celebrity is very true to canon, and the dialogue with the ministry workers was hilarious- it was like a game of broken telephone, making everything Harry said into something impressive (Curse breaking's just a holiday to him! - brilliant.)

I really loved your attention to detail and scene setting throughout the chapter, especially the scene at the Ministry, with the festive memos and the happy faces. It really conjured a picture in my imagination.

One thing I would say is that you need to be careful with your apostrophes when you're writing and editing: I noticed a few punctuation errors (Dursley's should not be possessive, it's plural). Other than that and a few tiny grammatical errors that only a pedant like me would take issue with, the chapter was very well edited.

I'm really happy you chose Bill as Harry's travelling buddy. As the eldest child, I'd imagine that he would be feeling some of the same feelings of guilt and restlessness that Harry himself has, and the two have some other parallels that make it really believable that they both want out.

The scene at the Burrow, the dinner I mean, was suitably heartbreaking and I think you've done a really excellent job of portraying grief in the Weasley family. Fleur and Molly's relationship is also really well done: you still have those vestiges of hostility and different views, but they've also bonded and that's really evident.

Finally, I mean really, I have to wrap this beast of a review right up, I'm a big fan of this portrayal of the Dursleys, especially Dudley. Fresh starts all around, right? I also love how you showed that shift in harry's perspective. How could he be afraid of his childhood bullies when he's faced Voldemort and come out as the survivor?

Really excellent chapter - I have no criticism to give!

Author's Response: Hi Gilly,

I have been away now for almost a month, and had forgotten that I had requested a review so this was really lovely to come back to, thankyou!

And thankyou for the pick up on the atrocious punctuation!
I have every intention of getting it beta'd but for now, the silly season is upon us and everything I had planned to have done has not been done, and things that I wanted to do are not done and..
Anyway, enough excuses. But I wont be making any promises to improve things any time soon, itll be a couple of months before I get time to think properly again.
I really really appreciated the review too. the one thing I am a bit uncomfortable is the random pairing of Bill and Harry, and if I ever get to rewrite the intro, I will have a prologue wiht a little more time spent developing that relationship before it launches off on a "hey wanna fly aroudn the other side of the world with me?' session.

Anyway, I htink I have thanked you a million billion times, but once more, thankyou!


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Review #10, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneThe Nightingale's Lament: The Nightingale's Lament

18th November 2013:
Oh my goodness Sian. How is this so beautiful?

I'll admit to never having heard of Vicky Frobisher before I read this story, but now I'm so intimately introduced to her story, to her pain and everything she's ever felt or fought for that it's hard to remember that this beautiful story was only just introduced to me.

There are so many beautiful lines in here that I'm not sure where to start.

I think that this paragraph was my favourite though:
Shivering again, Vicky wrapped her cardigan tighter around her thin body again. It hung off her in folds, like wrinkly skin on an old woman. Vicky felt old. It seemed to her that the emotions that had taken hold of her could only be a lifetimeís worth, could only be experienced by someone who had lived many years and seen many things. Her age felt wrong, as if the numbers didnít match the pain.

I think you perfectly reflect the true tragedy of the war: forcing these kids, they really are only children, to grow up so fast. To experience grief that's to big to fit them. The imagery of the old woman overlaid on Vicky is also really beautiful.

The patronuses are so perfect! I love the repeated imagery of the nightingale - I see it in Vicky, a sort of melancholy songbird, and I think you chose perfectly for both of them.

Going back to the aging bit, I really appreciate how you didn't belittle Colin and Vicky's love just because they're young. In fact, you did the opposite. I can tell that there is a maturity in them that probably wouldn't have been there in other circumstances, and I really liked how you reflected that in every part of their life: love, school, friendships, family, grief - they are all older than their years.

Finally, I think you dealt with grief in a very convincing way. There are scars that don't heal, and even though your ending was lighter, you never took away from the grief that they are all feeling - Vicky is still crumbling and broken, it's just that she is learning to bear the unbearable.

I've gone on quite a long time, and I really don't have much else to offer, so I'll just end by saying I loved this one shot, I loved the seamless flow of past to present and pretty much every word that makes up this story is exactly the right word.

Really, really well done!

Author's Response: Hi Gilly! Sorry for taking so long to respond to this, RL overwhelmed me!

I love taking minor characters and crafting a story about them, and to know that I've managed to create a character from Vicky that you feel like you know and actually feel something about means so much to me. It means my writing is doing its job :)

Ah, I'm so happy you picked up on that! These kids are really going through something that they should never have to face, and even though they may fight in a war and handle challenges like that, the emotions can be completely overwhelming for them, to the point they don't know how to cope. I was hoping someone would pick up on the idea of the old woman overlaid onto Vicky, so you've made me really happy!

I think it's hard to deal with teenage love in the right way, and normally it's something I avoid writing about because of that. Personally I don't like those stories where everyone ends up with their school boyfriend/girlfriend, because I don't think those portrayals are very realistic - but at the same time, that's not to say teenagers can't be in love, and experiencing the same things adults feel. I think the war, for these two, would have made them more mature, and maybe their love meant a little more because of that, but I'm really pleased that you thought I dealt with their relationship well!

Your interpretation of the ending is exactly how I intended it - unfortunately, grief is an emotion that never goes away completely, not really. It eases over time, and I think that for all people who are grieving there's a point when they realise they have to begin living again, so I'm pleased I managed to convey that here.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review, Gilly! ♥

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Review #11, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneDivided: The Tale of the Hogwarts Founders: Chapter I

11th November 2013:
Hello! I've been on a mission to get all of my reviews done, so I thought I may as well review yours while I was at it.

First of all, I really enjoyed this chapter. While the speech might be a bit modern for the time frame, I'm not an expert on tenth century England either, so I don't have any critique for you there ;P

Rowena's characterization was really good! I like how you made her young, so you can see that while she is wise and intelligent, she hasn't quite reached the maturity of thought that she was known for in her later years.

I love how you've portrayed the founders. Many people focus on Slytherin's betrayal and forget that before they split, they were friends. It's lovely ow you've shown their friendship and their reliance on each other.

I also really liked that hints about war and unrest. It was a really good way to introduce the setting and conflict in this conversation between friends.

I can't wait to see how Slytherin's character grows and changes into the man known at Hogwarts. Does it have something to do with this muggle girl he's so infatuated with? Hmmm.

Spelling and grammar were impeccable as far as I could see, so that's wonderful!

To answer your question, yes, the first chapter does make me want to keep reading.

I really enjoyed the descriptions in the first paragraph: they really caught my attention with the vividness of the scene you pictured there, so well done.

Excellent first chapter!


Author's Response: Hi Gilly! Aw, thank you! I was sure I had accidentally posted when you had the review queue closed, so I appreciate that you did this anyway, that was really sweet of you.

I was worried about the dialogue. Since I wasn't there in the 10th century to hear how they actually spoke back then (big surprise, right?) I wasn't sure if it would be too awkward sounding. But if you didn't think it took away from the story, that's good.

It's wonderful to hear that you like my portrayal of the founders and their long standing friendship. What a great point you made about Rowena too, being very intelligent but a little immature - I'm really glad you liked her.

Much of the war and unrest is actually historical, there were a lot of wars going on at the time against Vikings - so I just extended it into the wizarding world as well! I'm glad you liked that setting.

I really appreciate your comments on my description - that was one of the things I worked on the most in that chapter so I'm glad it set the scene well.

This was a lovely review, thank you so much!

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Review #12, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneRoyal: The Letter

11th November 2013:
Hi Lo!
I'm so sorry for the terrible, terribly delay. You of all people know how NaNo is... it sucks your soul, I tell you.

Okay, so I'll start with what I enjoyed, which pretty much encompasses the whole chapter! This is a really interesting premise and I'm excited to read more. Teenaged royalty, a shocking letter, boring paperwork and... peacocks? What's not to love! It was really well written, and, thought short, engaging and interesting.

As for believability, it was really good! I have a few concerns about characterization. I understand that Carolyn is young and she has to be relatable, but I'd imagine that if she was brought up in Court, some 'royalness' would rub off on her. She seems almost a bit /too/ relatable, if you know what I mean. But as a character I like her a lot, and she is, of course, /yours/ :P

I only noticed a couple of punctuation errors, and no spelling mistakes (except one You're where it should be your) so that's always lovely!

I really liked the ending! Such intrigue o.O

So great start, I can't wait to see what happens next :D

(you can't be mad at me for not writing today because I wrote a review for YOU ! :D )


Author's Response: Hi Gilly!
And I totally know how much time NaNo suck out of your life, so don't worry :P

Yay! I'm glad you liked it! And as for Carolyn's royalness, I should really look into projecting what I'm thinking. I might as well explain it here though :)

Basically her mother tried to let her have a moderately average life, but when her mother died she was pushed into the role of queen and basically rebelled against that for a while. I will look into making her a little bit more formal, but I tried to convey a teenager sick of her job and just wanting to take a break since all she does is paperwork...

And I will definitely check for those errors and that horrifying typo! Gosh! I'm so embarrassed...

And yay! I'm glad you liked it! And no worries about not writing today, as long as you stay caught up. (To be honest, I only wrote about 2000 words last Monday to Friday. Weekends are my NaNo saver!)

Lo :)

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Review #13, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneIn Sickness And In Health: Healing in Hell?

11th November 2013:
Hey Grace!

First of all, and this may be getting a bit repetitive, but I am SO SO sorry for not reviewing more promptly. NaNo has taken me over and I've barely had time to read.

Excuses aside, I quite liked this chapter! I know in my last review I pointed out some of what I found to be characterization errors, but I found the characters were much more believable this time around.

I like how you demonstrated the maturity you'd expect from two almost-adult in such a situation. many Dramione fics have them shouting and ranting at each other, even when they're older, so I'm glad you've demonstrated that Draco and Hermione are mature adults, capable of reasonable thought and the like.

The only CC i have to give is purely stylistic. You gave a very large amount of information purely through expository dialogue. While this is all well and good and often necessary, it does get a bit monotonous when we have several paragraphs of ongoing speech, often without a break.

I agree that it makes sense in this case, as both the characters and the readers need this information that Harold is spouting, but it might read a little nicer if you broke it up a little with actions or questions or even more surprise or outrage from Draco and Hermione. They do seem a bit too accepting of their fate.

Other than that, I found this chapter really enjoyable and I like how original this story is turning out to be.

Thanks for requesting, and I'm sorry again for the delay!

Author's Response: Hi Gilly! I'm sorry it has taken me so so long to respond to your review! But I am here now :)

I'm glad you thought that the characters were much more to canon in this chapter! I have tried to improve them over time, especially in the situation that they had been placed in. it isn't an easy one to be in, and as you said, are capable of handling it with maturity.

I have had a few people comment on the amount of speech in this chapter. I have tried a few times to improve it, and since your review have updated it since then. I hope that with the spacing out and with some extra descriptive wording it helped it to create space between the discussion.

I'm glad that you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for the review!


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Review #14, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneBlurring Whites: One

26th October 2013:
Hey Nadia.

Um. Woah, okay how do I start this?

I admire you a lot just for tackling such a sensitive issue, and such a difficult topic to work with. But the fact that you pulled it off, with grace, with compassion is even more impressive.

The idea of having to be aware of the consequences before moving on- that's really powerful. I think you handled the split perspectives really well, and they really added to the power of the story. This is so heartbreaking, because you know that James will always be affected by Lily's death. She gets to move on, to sleep, but he and his family will always have that weight to carry with them. As much as I think james needed to open up, I don't see him ever completely getting over it or moving on.

Apart from a couple of grammar/ spelling mistakes and a slight overuse of commas, this was really well written. The pacing worked really well for this type of story.

Finally, I think the ending was perfect. It's so hard to find a positive note in this situation, but find it you did and you finished the story on a perfect note.

Thanks for sharing this with us, Nadia

Author's Response: Gilly!

Angst angst and more angst. That's Nadia for you. I swear, it's all I actually enjoy writing. There's so many issues out there... I try to make use of them as much as I can.

I really like how you put it that way. You understood exactly what I was going for - they leave so much pain behind.

Yeah, I need to work on those mistakes! I'll be sure to fix them when I get the chance, thanks for pointing that out!

I tried.. I felt like I needed to give Laura something. When I go back I'll be adding more depth into her character.

Thanks so much for the swap Gilly, your review has made me so happy.

Nadia ♥

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Review #15, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneSlytherin Career Day: A Long Day in the Dungeons

21st October 2013:
Hey there! So, I've seen you around the forums and the the Gryffindor common room and everything, but never really talked to you, so when I saw your post in the review tag I thought it would be the perfect way to strike up a conversation xD

This is such a hilarious story! I love how you've characterized Snape - he's so bitter and sarcastic and strangely interested in hair-care products. You've done a fantastic job of presenting the future of Slytherin House to us, in all their glory. I was chuckling by the end of the first paragraph, and Crabbe's creepy bit about fire and the (unproven!) murder of his sister made me giggle even more.

Goyle and Pansy were suitably oblivious and vapid, respectively, while Draco Malfoy Had the most hilarious career path I've heard. Lucius does have fabulous hair, though, it must be said (so much sassy hair flicking from him in CoS ;) )

I think Blaise Zabini is the true gem of the bunch though- how did you write that section without dying of laughter / getting sick?

I love how you outlined all of SLytherin's faults, while hinting a Snape's own flaws. A little hair grease here, caustic comments and sheer indifference are some well known Snape attributes that you displayed perfectly here. I also loved how you put in those ittle comments that show Snape's hero worship of Dumbledore. Well done!

Okay, I think I need to stop rambling, you don't really need me to tell you everything that happened in you story; after all, you wrote it :)

I loved this one-shot, and I'll be back to review something else soon :D

Author's Response: Back-to-back reviews on a one-shot that's more than a year old? This has to be some sort of record. One that I have to say I'm very pleased to be able to set! And it's lovely to make your acquaintance!

There's nothing more fun, at least for me, than to indulge my inner need to write mean, bitter, snarky Snape. When he isn't being all serious and spying on the Dark Lord and killing Dumbledore, he is an absolutely hilarious character to write.

I read a fic a long time ago -- don't ask me where or what the title was; I honestly cannot remember -- where Draco decided to become a hairdresser because he admired his father's hair. The idea stuck with me. And Zabini's section was actually the first one I wrote. I did suffer from a lot of sniggering while drafting that one.

I'm really glad that you enjoyed this. I think I wrote four stories for this challenge in total. It was one of the most fun thing I ever got involved with in the forums. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

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Review #16, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneKeep Calm and Carry On: Take Two and Call Me in the Morning

21st October 2013:
Oh, I loved the ending!

Edie is so perfect! She's one of my Preferred People on this site :). I love how she's so intense cheering for the Kestrels, including the drinking post-quidditch. Wonderful first section! I loved the boys, they're so different yet both wonderful in their own right. They seem to be so nutty when they go out like this! I bet they love the fun until the next morning!

Like I mentioned, the ending is perfect- I see Edie regretting this night big time! I've gotten to the most recent section you posted, so re-viewing this section is fun! Edie is more irresponsible before she gets her job, I think shes more content in the recent posts, though. She's so incredibly fun to view!

Wonderful section of your story!
Hope it continues soon.

Author's Response: Hello!

I'm glad you like Edie! Your opinion may change the longer you read the story, but for now I will accept that compliment ;) You're right, though, that she's at least somewhat attempting to be a little more professional in later chapters.

Thanks so much for taking the time to review!

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Review #17, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneTaking the Biscuit: Booty Calls

21st October 2013:
Oh my goodness! I didn't expect this plot twist! I love how you include bits from the first story into this one. Your continuity is wonderful! Rose is so perfect- I love the depth of her disposition.
Scorpius continues to be my preferred person in this story. He's just so nutty!I enjoy the more serious route this story is following- Rose is experiencing some true difficulties in her life which I think is very good. I enjoyed Gilderoy's bit so much! He's so funny, I love how full of himself he is. Rose is getting pretty 'do or die'! Nervous to see the next section!
Wonderful section!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is very much a continuation of the first story so elements will continue to reappear. Thanks so much!

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Review #18, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneKeep Calm and Carry On: The Match

21st October 2013:
Oh, I loved the ending!

Edie is so perfect! She's one of my Preferred People on this site :). I love how she's so intense cheering for the Kestrels, even while swooning over Oliver :D

Ms. Bell is wonderful too! She's so much like Oliver! I love how different she is from Edie, yet how closely their interests line up. I like the things she tells Edie of Oliver.

Like I mentioned, the ending is so perfect! I picture the events in my mind: hundreds of riotous Puddlemere supporters hunting Edie. It's so funny!

Wonderful section of your story!
Hope it continues soon.

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you very much. I really like Katie as well... I think I would want to hang out with her. And yeah, she and Edie do have some similarities, don't they? Especially the bit about not being able to keep their opinions to themselves ;)

Thanks again! ♥

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Review #19, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneNocturne: Nocturne

20th October 2013:
Hello there. I came here with the intention of reading something cute and short and I'm left speechless. So speechless I have to say something about it :)

This is so, incredibly beautiful. I was captivated by the beginning but it was the last sentence that made it flawless. You found the perfect way to end this story and I'm so amazed.

I can't believe how much wisdom and emotion you managed to convey in so few words. I absolutely love your approach to potions: six ingredients that can make almost anything. What an interesting metaphor for life.

I'm so impressed by your writing here. You have singlehandedly rekindled my love for Severus.
All I can say is thank you for sharing your beautiful art with us.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really glad you liked this! I was apprehensive about writing Snape because he's generally a character I feel gets butchered in fanon; to here that this rekindled your affection for him is lovely :)

And thank you for your wonderful, kind words :D

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Review #20, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneCorbeau: Raven

20th October 2013:
Hello, I'm here from my review thread and... wow.

I think I'll write this in some kind of structure so I don't just end up gushing meaninglessly.

First of all, where did you find this perfect song? I speak French fluently, so I feel I can really appreciate how well you used these lyrics, and how seamlessly they fit into your story.I especially like the last lyric you used: "On joue au couteau et on peut partager le mÍme lit". I think it really reflects Cho's sentiment that 'now would be a nice time to die'(oh god that sentence)

Secondly, you have converted me! I've never really liked Cho, but this has changed my mind a little bit. I love how much impact Cedric's death had on her. i can't help but feel that if he had lived, they would have broken up eventually, but since he died, well, that must leave a scar that would never heal, and I think you showed that perfectly.

At first I wasn't sure about the style here- it seemed choppy, you used a lot of partial sentences and short paragraphs, but once I reached the end it seemed right. It was such a delicate way to portray these little flashes of Cho's life, and I think you pulled it off with a lot of elegance and beauty.

Finally, this line made me stop in my tracks:
"Life can be cruel. No, not life. Life can beautiful and bitter. Itís the people in it that can be cruel."

A beautiful line in a beautiful piece.

I'm so glad you shared this wonderfully thought out story with us. I really enjoyed it.

Author's Response: *does excited happy dance*

First of all, I'm so happy you liked it! I loved writing it and this review is awesome. That song is ome of my favorites and once I looked up the translation of them, I got the whole idea to write this about Cho. She was never a favorite character of mine either, possibly because she was never developed much past being Harry's love interest for a little while. I hoped that the style wasn't too out of the ordinary and that the progression of time was easy to see, so that's good that it made sense! That line was a really random thought in my head that I wanted to put in the story, so I'm glad it works:) Thanks for your lovely review!


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Review #21, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneFood Fight!: Food Fight.

20th October 2013:
Hah! This was a really funny story.
I like your characterization of Fred and George... they're so mischievous! Imagine getting hit in the face with mashed potatoes... how messy.

It seems like you have a whole Thanksgiving dinner flying around the great hall: stuffing, salad... I half expected someone to chuck a whole turkey!

You may want to watch your capitalization and punctuation. There were a few strangely structured sentences that could probably be combined, for example here: "Younger student were crawling under tables. Trying not to get crushed by older students." that would probably flow a little more nicely as one full sentence.

Fred and George continue to be hilarious- they started that food fight easy as pie, and they're absolutely nuts!

I can just imagine McGonagall's face at the end too: all sour like she'd been sucking on lemons :D

I like this little story a lot, it was loads of fun to read!

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Review #22, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneHarry Potter and the Boy Who Lived: Part 1 - 1981. Chapter 1 - Mr and Mrs Dursley and the Flying Motorbike

19th October 2013:
I love this chapter!
It's so interesting to see what would happened if Harry's and Neville's roles were reversed- I ever thought of the effect it might have on Sirius' life, but I love how you've spun that.

Petunia's characterization is also perfect in this chapter! I love how initially she'd unpleasant, but there is still that side of her that loves her sister. I think that's perfect.

Finally, Vernon was perfectly entitled and obnoxious and you did a wonderful job of portraying his self-importance.

Wonderful first chapter! It was a pleasure to read :)

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Review #23, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneCursed: The Tale of Mrs. Norris: The Three Broomsticks

17th October 2013:
Hi! So this is such an original story.
I love how you've taken this crotchety old man and imagined a past for him. It's hard for me to ever think of Filch being young, let alone handsome and in love.
You have a really lovely imagination for creating this whole background to a character most people only think of as a cantankerous old codger, and it's so cool to see your story behind Mrs. Norris' unusual name.
Great start to a story!

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Review #24, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneCareful What You Wish For: The Dementor on the Train

16th October 2013:
Hey Courtney! So sorry I took so long to review - feel free to give me a kick over PM if it ever happens again!

I really enjoyed this chapter! The writing continues to be good and I like how we get to see a bit more of the relationship between Dani and Kat, and Brandon and Oliver, to an extent. I really like Penny's character!

I do wish we'd got to hear more about Angus- I think he only spoke once during the chapter and I'd like to be properly introduced to his character. hopefully that comes up soon!

For CC, I'd just like to mention that Marcella acts a bit young for 9. I don't know, that could just be the way she is, but whining and saying 'mummy' seems a bit juvenile for a nine year old. One more thing is that there wasn't much lingering on the dementor. Maybe a bit more description of what it made them feel like. I do love how she feels comforted by a full compartment though, that bit was very realistic.

To wrap things up, I'll just say I loved the WWN part at the beginning of the chapter! Poor Dolly, indeed.

Great job, yet again!

Author's Response: Hey Gilly! No problem, I'm not exactly the best person to apologise to about lateness, as I am seriously one of the laziest people to ever exist. Which is probably a tad overdramatic but that's okay!

I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and liked Penny's character - and you will get to know Angus more, he's just very quiet!

I think I've had that comment once before, so I will definitely have to consider going and altering that, thanks for pointing that out!

Thanks for the great review!


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Review #25, by DumbledoresArmyOfOneGravel on the Ground: From the Ashes: Chapter 1

7th October 2013:

As intriguing as your epilogue was, this didn't clarify much for me, which is exactly as it should be. There are some interesting snippets that just barely give us some insight: the recollection of the McLauchlin family, which McGonagall recalls with obvious fondness. I'm wondering if this is a connection from McGonagalls Hogwarts days, or even before that? The scottish name makes me think there's a connection, but I could be reading in too much.

Ms. Ophelia Oddsocks is perfectly wonderful. I love her mannerisms, the knitting traps, her odd expressions and above all her unlikely friendship with our favourite straightlaced professor- perfect touch of humour to work against the gloominess of the first chapter.

As exciting as this chapter was, I do think that you overused the exclamation mark just a bit. Once we get three in a paragraph, they begin to lose their punch. Punctuation, spelling and grammar were otherwise wonderful, which is always nice :)

My favourite part of this chapter was the international floo idea. Fantastic creativity! From the little witch in the fire place to that extra handful of floo powder, your ideas seemed canon. So perfect! I want to ask you if I can use it in a story i'm working on :) it involves a lot of floo travel so I'm always on the lookout for great ideas. (If you'd let me use it and credit you that would be awesome :)

Anyways, self-servingness aside, I loved this second chapter- it was refreshingly light compared to the first and I'm glad to see some new characters. Good luck with your anti-nano :)

Author's Response: Hi there! Sorry I'm so terribly slow responding to this. Been working really hard on real life stuff this month so I could be caught up and ready to go to work writing in November. Meant I got behind on review responses though.

I was a little worried at first when I started reading this, that you weren't liking the mystery of it all, but then I read on and I'm good now. LOL. And I know I'm being very vague in this story right now so I'm glad you like the pace.

There might be a small Scottish connection to McGonagall, but probably in a different way than you are thinking.

Yeah, I'm glad you like Mrs. Oddsocks! She was so much fun to create! Honestly, if I had know how much people would end up liking her, I might have figured out a way to include her more.

I honestly hadn't noticed my exclamation mark use, but you are probably very right. Sometimes I get carried away, and then when I'm editing I just don't notice something like that. I will very much try to keep an eye on that bad habit in the future.

How is the Floo idea coming along in your fic? I'm still very honored you wanted to you use it. :)

And thank you so much for a wonderful review again! Think my anti-nano will be coming to an end in time I can do real nano as a rebel. I'm so excited! I've been working so hard on real life stuff so I could be caught up and ready to go. Now I'm just excited to write!

Thanks again! Hope you catch your thread again another time to see what you think of later chapters.

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