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Reviews (8 found)

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I think you are off to a good start but there was something I was unclear on... Before receiving her letter, did Lily-Rose know anything about there being a magical world? Because if she really didn't then it seems ahe has taken to everything very easily without any of the doubts one would normally feel. Even Harry doubted Hagrid for a while until he had too much evidence not to. I think it's a great opportunity for you to expand on the character and include from the first chapter her thoughts on such things. For example, she gets the letter which we know explains very little and just accepts the fact that she is going to have visitors. Reading the other review, I saw that you addressed the carer's lack of care for Lily-Rose having people over and going out to somewhere with strangers, saying we would see why later so I'll hold off til I see what you have in store. But Lily-Rose just accepts going with Ron and Hermione and when they get to Diagon Alley she let's most of her questions go unanswered. Though startled by the goblin she adjusts to him and everything else really fast. Now there are some people out there who are really like that, so if that's who she's meant to be then I'd say show it more in her thoughts. Otherwise, I'm intrigued to see where this goes, so keep at it!

Author Response

:O hey! i'm reading your story about the ring of mykele ATM! its awesome! I love that you like my story! :)
And Lily-Rose was a bit cautious but she does adjust easily to new things cuz she's used to it at home (i was thinking of using that as a dis-advantage later in the story so stay reading!) :D
It does say in the first she was cautious at first but nothing good happens much to her so she tries to say yes as much as possible she's a strong kid :P

FIRST!

Now that's out of the way, it's still as brilliant as when I first read it. I can't wait to see how everyone else responds! I think your story is going to be very popular very soon. My next chapter is posted and when it shows up, there will be a nice little recommendation over here to you, keep writing, I'm still waiting to read chapter 4. I'm halfway through 19, so maybe we'll finish at the same time and trade chapters to read! See you next chapter and on the forums! Good luck with the story!

Author Response

Thanks!

As always a pleasure to hear from you.  I am hoping to get some more reviews but still plan on submitting chapter 2 tonight.  Chapter 4 is moving along slowly unfortunately and I was out of town Friday and Saturday at a conference so nothing got done.

Hope all is well, talk to you soon.

Twins! Great story and i like your writing style, I breezed easily through all the the chapters and I am really enjoying it! I know I am not the one to request a chapter be posted quickly, but please update soon!  And thank you for the review you left me, two new chapters are up, if you can even remember the story...keep going on this, I like it emensely!

Author Response

Good job so far, I am thoroughly engrossed and waiting impatiently for the next chapter!  Thanks again for reading my story, though I think I'm liking your better.....but then again, who really likes their own work?  Keep at it!

<i><b><font color=#000080>Author's Response:</b> thanx! tho seriously ures is way better!</i></font>

Author Response

America....nice twist.  I know what you mean about schedules....yuck.  Anyway, really good so far.  Can't wait for chapter 4, though I hope it's a little longer.  Exellent!!  BTW, three more chapters up on my story, if your interested.  Keep writing!!!

<i><b><font color=#000080>Author's Response:</b> Awesome!  I'll check it out!  Oh yeah don't worry!  I've been measuring my chapters and I can make them longer if you want!  It won't be a problem!  I'm going to have to do a little research regarding English and American currency.  I already know American currency and the reason I'm so familliar with Maine is because my dad was raised there!  I had a friend who went to England so I can get most of the currency stuff from her.  Well I'll check out the chapters!  Toodlez!*~*AJ*~*</i></font>

Author Response

Sorry about your finger.  Didn't know, that does make it harder.  By the way I have some new chapters up if you were interested!  Can't wait to read more of yours.  Heal well!

<i><b><font color=#000080>Author's Response:</b> Awesome!  I'm working on the 3rd chapter now.  It's going pretty good and I think that you're in for some surprises!  I'll check out your story!!  Byez!</i></font>

Author Response

Hey, you reviewed my story, just thought I'd return the favor.  Good start, but it's now the 13th of January and still no new chapter!  Keep going!

<i><b><font color=#000080>Author's Response:</b> I'm sorry I've been busy with schoolwork and what not.  Also if you didn't know I have a broken finger so it's a little hard to type.  I promise I'll work on it some tonight.  I g2g!  Byez!</i></font>

Author Response

Hey, I'm in college too, so I feel your pain, but it's hard to believe you can't find time to write even one chapter.  I'm really enjoying your story and was trying to wait patiently for you to post but I realized that I am a very impatient person.  My flaw, not yours, but I wish you'd find a little time time and write more.  Sorry to be a bother.

<i><b><font color=#000080>Author's Response:</b> It's okay. I am gery frustrated with myself as well, and a big part of it is just huge effing writers block, its just not fun. Thanks for putting it so politely, and thanks for the review! :)</i></font>

Author Response

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