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Reading Reviews From Member: TheGoldenKneazle
391 Reviews Found

Review #26, by TheGoldenKneazleTwo Mad Hatters and an Invisible Lover: The One and Only Chapter

9th October 2012:
Hee I did like this bit of fun! There wasn't much plot but it still felt fulfilling and like I'd been taken on a journey (perhaps one of discovery, that Lee Jordan was about! I loved not seeing that coming). It feels like the calm before the storm that Umbridge and then her demise brings.

All your description was so lovely, it really set the scene perfectly and made the reader feel right at home there beside Hogwarts. It also reinforced the falsely calm feeling, and loved how you described the beauties of the day - nothing felt like it was dragging, but you had the dialogue/description balance down so well :D

I loved your characterisations of the four (three?) characters so much, too! Fred and George were so in-canon-ly portrayed, with their sentence-finishing and not giving away all their pranking plans. My favourite line was Sometimes one had to wonder whether these two even knew themselves separately because it rings so true!

I loved your Lee and the mysterious girl, too - they were happy enough to give a hopeful air to your scene and it was a nice snapshot into their lives :D

Author's Response: Thank you!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

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Review #27, by TheGoldenKneazleWeather for Ducks: Epilogue: Part Two

9th October 2012:

MY DENIAL WILL BE SHOWN THROUGH A 6000-CHARACTER REVIEW. Possibly a little OTT. But hey ho, these are desperate times and I have concussion from this lemon. IT CAN'T JUST END... RIGHT?!?

THIS WAS SUCH A PERFECT ENDING AND SO MUCH CUTENESS BUT I AM STILL MASSIVELY IN DENIAL ABOUT THIS ENDING; What will HPFF do without its routine dose of metaphor?! OMFG IT'S THE ONLY THING KEEPING US AFLOAT. The world is a drizzlier place without Weather for Ducks updates *sobs*

but i am totally and extremely and massively in love with all the parallels and repetitions and everything that made this epilogue like the other epilogue, i just feel like lucy and scorpius' love has been tried and come through the other side with all the trials and tribulations they've been through together - like Rose, and lack of money, and Burns Night (although there was never the Caber-Tossing I had been so psyched up for... or Irn Bru. Can we please have a sober-cause-preggers Irn-Bru-drinking Lucy watching Scorpius be taught the Scots national sport?!)

but yes, all the lovely bus stop and raining and Scorpius confessions and talking about buses and stuff... it made it all so beautiful and Scorpius-Lucy and was just the CUTEST THING EVER. :3 :3 :3 and it was sooo lovely to find out exactly what happened after they got together on that fateful night so long ago because FEELS ~~~

AND THEIR VISION OF THE FUTURE. IT'S JUST THE LOVELIEST THING, and it made me cry more than a bit, BECAUSE IT'S SO PERFECT. The fact that they grew up and were just shaking off the last of the studentiness may or may not have contributed to that sad gloominess and (mild) hysteria...

Scorpius can become a famous comic artist turned teacher turned still-life gardener painter, with his garden peas (is this a second-generation Drapple I see coming on, with Scorpeas instead? OMG fanfanfic with Lucy having sequins thrown over her instead of confetti at the wedding, Mr Andrew Socks carries the rings, Lettuce marries them, and ALL THE WEDDING FOOD IS GARDEN PEA-BASED.)

But getting hitched really cheaply? it's what Lucy wanted all along, right from the beginning where she was wishing they'd gone to get sozzled and hitched in Ibiza :')

I can't help adoring everything they said they were going to do, from the new jobs to garden peas. i hope the kid grows up to be happy and paint-covered and performance-arteestic with belled and sequinned cabers. it would truly be the duck on the pond if that was the case.

Favourite line was quite possibly 'I promise I'll get you a real ring someday,' he said.
'Nah,' I said. 'I like my foil.'
because it's so Scorpius/Lucy and they've been in the foil not the gold for so long, it's like... their thing. They're just scrubby and grubby together. and that's why it's so lush.

and SO MANY METAPHORICAL BUSES ahha i do love how you write Lucy as coming up with so many strange metaphors :')

I still dislike Mary-Susannah so much, but then, I guess that's just the problem with Mary-Sues. I still wish her well, and that Rose will produce tartan-wearing babies soon too.

Ahha it just felt like the "All was well." in DH epilogue; "all was well in New New Elgin". and i got the sense that it was such a bittersweet ending even as you wrote it long ago, although maybe that was just me? :( whatever it was, you ended it as perfectly as possible, and we know that Lucy and Scorpius will be very happy in their life... with Abraxus/Arthur/Narcissa/Audrey (and hopefully more) and Albus will drop in with his crazy wife from time to time and they will attend Scottish evenings with PRose at Albus' big house and Molly and her husband will give Scorpius gardening tips.

Amen, sistah. it's wonderful and you're wonderful and i love it all.

this wasn't quite hitting the 6,000 mark, unfortunately, but i do like to think that my appreciation (aka. love&tears) were shown through the squees and randomness.

THANKYOU FOR STARVING ARTISTS. It will forever be my favourite HPFF series. :')

Over and out :3

Author's Response: your 'no' is so epic it encompasses both letters and numbers w o w

'they said i must write so many lemons, cause i am so bitter' except lemon means something else in the fanfiction universe so oo-er

hpff will continue because, in the words of those great philosophers noah and the whale, l.i.f.e.g.o.e.s.o.n.

caber tossing at a burns night?!? WHAT EVEN okay this fic is kind of cracky enough to make that work.

don't be ridiculous. scorpius is far too weak to toss a caber. more like tossing the twig for him.

awhh! YES YOU PICKED UP ON THE SCORPEAS AHAHAHA. in the mad 3am land of skype chats we have collected a large list of variations on 'scorpius', one of which includes scorpeas. and yeah they're so poor their wedding food would really be all garden pea-based.

the child grows up to be happy. you know why? THAT CHILD WAS ME okay no but you get the idea.

HMS grubby foil, yeah that's a good ship name. although I think HMS grubby foil would be a bit prone to sinking if it really was made out of grubby foil.

it was pretty bittersweet. I felt I had to make it that way to counterbalance all the OVERWHELMING CLICHE of propsals and sprogs and whatnot.

psst. you want to know? it's Arthur. he grows up to be the pointman in a little film called inception, you've probably never heard of it.

thank you for what is definitely one of the nicest reviews I've had in a very long time ♥ ♥ ♥

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Review #28, by TheGoldenKneazleWeather for Ducks: Epilogue: Part One

9th October 2012:

It feels so lovely and fluffy that everything is getting sorted out that I can't help but squeee :3 I love that Gwen and Tarks ran off to the circus and how New New Elgin is calming down (though a bit sad that it was Prose in the end - OMG THAT SHIP NAME - and Lettary but hey ho, Rose would've ended up chucking his sequins out the window).

And Lucy's pregnant?! I don't think anyone saw it coming, and there are mucho squees over here at the thought of a paint-covered toddler wandering after Scorpius :D I absolutely can't wait to see how Scorpius reacts, especially since they've got a bit more of an income now and everyone except Lucy - :( - is happy :)


Author's Response: haha! I only realised /at this point/ that Al practically vanished from existence after the end of starving artists and he's AL so I had to bring him back. which is a shame because it meant I never got space to write my albus-is-actually-gay subplot :c

Prose is a brill ship name! heh. and whether Mary ends up with Lettuce is really open to interpretation...


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Review #29, by TheGoldenKneazleWeather for Ducks: With Bells On

9th October 2012:

Ahem. I swear I've calmed down now. I DID love all the Roseness and mentions of Lettuce and how Lucy's sort of making peace with poor Rose. It feels natural and nice. Plus with all the brilliant trademark one-liners that have me in stitches were brill.

I can see why events would have built up to this crappy!Lucy bit and I feel sorry for Lucy and Scorpius and why it was needed :'( although Scorpius' speech was just the cutest thing EVER :3

Aaaand I should get a medal for self-control in writing a rubbishy commenty thing which is a pathetic excuse for reviewing when THERE'S TWO EPILOGUES STILL 8D *congas with hope*


eee, thank you. I wanted to bring Rose back and try to repair the damage I'd done to her character! and I sort of hope I was successful.

*joins your conga line*

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Review #30, by TheGoldenKneazleSometimes The Truth Hurts: The Boy Becomes a Man

8th October 2012:
N'aww this was so lovely and brave and just asdfghjkl NEVILLE!! I have always wondered how he made the transition to Hogwarts Rebel Leader and you laid it out so nicely :D

Your storytelling of how he thought out the change was simple and effective; there were no over-complications, bringing OCs into it, just brilliant strong words which felt so true and noble when you put them together in such a clever way.

Neville's characterisation was fantastic, I really thought you had his rebellious thoughts and concealed pain written subtly at times and cleverly too. His transition from underdog to Leader was made so much better by his constant comparisons to Harry; it constantly reminded us of how Harry and Neville were both boys in the prophecy, and how he was almost Harry too, although Neville doesn't know it.

It was just really great, and I wish there was more, to show how Neville started the rebellion fully! :)

Author's Response: Thank you!! I definitely felt like Neville's transition was missing something. I really just wanted to capture the moment he decided to stand up for himself. Im glad you enjoyed it. I dont think I will ever write more. I think extending this piece would lose some of its impact. Thank you for reviewing :)

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Review #31, by TheGoldenKneazleThe Prim and Not So Proper: Introductions

7th October 2012:
Eep I love this so much already! :3 You've done such a brilliant job of showing the differences between the two girls in all that they do, and mixed feelings are already showing up concerning both their lives. It's a brilliant beginning.

Max seems so happy-go-lucky, and you've really made her such a 3D character with her family relationships and dislikes of mornings without going over the top about it. She really contrasts with Elizabeth, who's perhaps slightly less well-fleshed-out with her annoying parents but even though they've not even hinted at the other's presence, there's already this undercurrent of how much Beth will be disliking Max.

Your characterisation of them and their families was portrayed really nicely, too; just watching them about their daily morning routines, their thoughts and memories, showed us a lot more than I would have expected. It was nice to be shown a lot of it instead of a whole chapter of explanations with no action :D

I'm really excited to see where this goes, too! There's interesting little tidbits that catch my attention about both of them so it does definitely make me want to read on.

Author's Response: Thank you!! Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. I really enjoyed writing the differences between these two characters. Dont worry, Elizabeth does get more fleshed out as the story progresses. Thank you so much for your review :)

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Review #32, by TheGoldenKneazleAgainst the Dying of the Light: skin

6th October 2012:
AH SO EVIL, AND HOW DO I ALREADY LOVE HER SO MUCH?! Your writing is so fabaroo and exquisite, Annon; I'm already in love with the evil Lila and her nasty, violent ways. All the description was so perfectly balanced to make her feel evil but not overdone as that's just uncomfortable ;) I can't wait to read more about Miss Unhinged and Potter, they've got a thing already, and you've given this Thing such an air of mystery that it's impossibly exciting already :3 MORE SOON PLEASE OKAY, although I realise I say this about all your stories... xoxoxox



yay I'm glad it wasn't uncomfortable! that'd be awks ;D I was wondering just how far to go with it and whether to give Lila at least ONE redeeming quality but then I thought I'd just post this first chapter and see how it went!

Miss Unhinged lol, GAH THAT'S GUNNA STICK NOW :P

yay i love you

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Review #33, by TheGoldenKneazleinvictus.: thursday

25th September 2012:
aargh Lily, how is it that you make even a 7000+ chapter feel like no more than a... something a lot shorter? Your style of writing is so addictive and I thought that the slightly choppier, more bitty and less intense-but-more-explained style fit in with Rose's mood on this date perfectly. Her high and low emotions were portrayed the best yet, and it felt as though I could almost reach out and touch Rose in her cracked and vulnerable state.

The way you've unravelled this part of the mystery is just amazing, because it feels like another part of the shell being peeled away; we can see the motivations for Rose's ice queen persona and connect with her even more now. I liked the more obvious hints about her family in this chapter, too, because it seemed to emphasise Rose's loss since we can compare this to the usual cliche of happy Weasley families.

And while the mystery concerning the absence of Rose's family has been partially uncovered, I feel like you've managed to develop the plot by another step again, frustratingly so! Rose needed Scorpius but pushed him away, and she now plots with her Uncle to bring down his father in the campaign for Minister... and meanwhile, her family's strange deaths have gone uninvestigated. Everything feels laden with suspicion and you have me searching for meaning in everything, which adds another layer to being able to climb into Rose's defensive skin.

I also adore meeting new characters that you bring in; your characterisation is just so wonderfully real and interesting, and every new person we meet makes me get really excited that they will be relevant to the plot soon. It's just all so wonderful, and while I'm sure I've used that word more than is strictly necessary in the past 25 reviews, I use with all my heart because you are so very talented and my vocabulary is downsized somewhat when I'm trying to squee coherently :D I am so glad I've been privileged enough to have the chance to read these stories, and will most certainly coming back for more!

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Review #34, by TheGoldenKneazleinvictus.: wednesday

25th September 2012:
I feel like every chapter brings more questions than answers, so intriguing is every turn of events. There were so many brilliant scenes in this which got me questioning exactly what we know about Rose thus far, and it's all so very addictive, not least because of how the mundane and emotional and remembrance and action-packed scenes are all woven between each other to create this constant level of tension.

Scorpius just became a whole lot more enigmatic here; your cleverly dropped hints did not prepare me for such high levels of intruiging past and sexual tension! It does feel as though part of Rose's reasons for creating her harsh shell have been uncovered, and I lovedlovedloved how you wrote the scene where she was desperate for him to listen to her and to communicate with him. It felt truer and less jagged than the other Ice Queen Rose moments, and the way you wrote it with a smoother flow and more doubts was more telling than all of Rose's coherent worries about him.

I'm ever so excited about discovering their past, though, not least because of the strange impact that it has on Percy and his career - and Molly, too, who knows some secrets and not others, who I can't help but wonder if she will end up creating some devastating destruction with her partial knowledge. I love how you write her as alternating between needy and at odds with Rose, because they have noticeable similarities and differences that only family can have.

It was surprising to discover that Hermione was dead, and I wonder if this will tie into later plot. I do love the poetic theme this has, though, especially the poetic references and how Rose knows her poetry too. It adds a layer of closeness to the reader, if that makes sense, because it's something that we both have in common. Eep cannot wait to read the next chapter!

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Review #35, by TheGoldenKneazleinvictus.: tuesday

25th September 2012:
If it's possible, I loved the poetic style of this chapter even more than the last; everything slips along so smoothly yet with such jagged emotions running through that the 6000 words feel so liquid and easy to fit yourself into since the emotion all feels a lot less... pretentious than other emotion-packed stories do. Favourite paragraph was definitely the one about Rose burning, I love it!

And SO MUCH AMAZING MYSTERY. Everything feels so splintered, and I love trying to put together all the pieces to make out what's happened with Percy and Scorpius and the Minister battle... it's so intriguing how there's this calm-before-the-storm sort of tension that Rose keeps referencing, and it's so completely enthralling.

And more indirect Scorpius! The way Rose's thoughts are all directed at him - or how they seem that way, at least - automatically make me desperate to claw closer to him, find out why they're involved, why Molly is disapproving of the connection. (And how Addae Jordan is involved in all of this too!)

Your characterisation is all so wonderful and brilliant; it's even easier to see how the icy weather reflects Rose's attitude, how she wears a mask and considers each move; it accompanies the chilling sensation of the reader realising what skin they wear, too. You have the Al-Rose-Molly group working so realistically, showing Rose's thoughts on them compared to her moments of connection to each. It strengthens the feeling I'm getting that they're splintering apart.

Also I totally recognised those poetic references ;) 'Invictus' is such a perfect poem to reflect Rose's walls and well, Shakespeare's just a vaguely famous dood, no idea what for... ;)

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Review #36, by TheGoldenKneazleinvictus.: monday

25th September 2012:
I really love this already -- it's very different style to what I usually read, but was almost immediately very easy to slip into and forget I was processing words and not in Rose's skin, fighting to get out.

Your characterisation is already very pulling and compelling, and I want to read on to find out what could happen to these people. I love how you showed Rose's uncomfortableness in her own skin but also in what she wants and should want; how unsatisfied she is with herself. It was easy to relate to, and she seemed a lot more real than other angsty characters who are simply angry at everything without any depth.

I like how you slotted together the different scenes -- or rather, the snippets of scenes that got a bit longer towards the end, so that at first we felt uncomfortable along with Rose trying to work out who was who and what was going on, getting a feel for her character. The slices of emotion and scenes were very telling because you didn't have awkward between-scene fillers to patch it together; it was more of a clean break, and so was more raw and precise (if that makes sense).

And your description and imagery - the cracking of her knuckle, the "cold hands, warm heart", the mundaneness twisting with the strange pull to Scorpius - it was all so beautiful and fit together in such a perfect flow! It was so easy to see yourself in those scenes because of that, and I loved it.

Your Rose was also very original -- no small feat when she's probably the most-written next-gen character -- and I can't wait to see more of her, and see what will happen to her; after all, nothing can remain this 'calm' for long, and I want to see more of Scorpius too! It's brilliant and I'm already desperate for more :D

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Review #37, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: nine.

25th September 2012:
Oooh this was such a perfect and lovely last chapter :3 I thought that you tied everything up very nicely, because there's a sense of peace and finality all through the chapter and it feels as though Astoria has made peace with herself and her metaphors of life. It feels right to leave them here on the bus :)

The metaphors are back! (I am very glad you didn't abandon them in this last chapter, seeing as they've been built upon for the other eight and it would be a shame to leave them out now). It was so nice to have them reach fullness, and the ideas to be lain out in their now-developed forms. I really do feel as though I've been on an enlightening journey with Astoria (and Draco, to an extent), and you've done such a brilliant job of including the reader in all of this! :D

I have such faith in Drastoria after just 15k, which seems a little strange as I've never really been able to get along with Draco before, yet the way you've developed him feels natural and strangely /normal/ after all we know he's been through. Their relationship is strong, and I love how you left them as a pair discovering it all together - also, the cleverness of how it all tied in to the beginning with HOGWARTS BUILDING and HOME was just so beyond-words fabulous 8D 83

This has been such a wonderful reading experience, Lily - you're amazing at what you do as a wordsmith, and I just hope that one day I can write something that makes me think a tenth of what EPW has made me think :)

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Review #38, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: eight.

25th September 2012:
THEY KISSED! AFTER 8 CHAPTERS. MY SHIPPY FEELS ARE GOING CRAZY 83 Meeep the reunion was just so lovely and brilliant and you've really brought them together so well! The feeling of final realisation and enlightenment was so strong, through all the metaphors, and you've brought them together so fabulously :)

It was so lovely to read it and muddle through Draco's words and Astoria's questions with them, because it really did feel like the climax of their understanding of each other. I just hope Draco's concept of 'home' is expanded upon more, because you've portrayed his journey so well and I don't want Astoria to lose him :(

Also I'm ridiculously happy that the title made it in! I was so wondering if/how "electric pow-wow" would come up, and it was so perfect that I couldn't help squeeing, A LOT. It's just so... Drastoria, certainly after the big enlightenment, and the phrasing is just so beautiful in its strange clunkiness, if that makes sense!

(Although interestingly if you google image "electic pow-wow" there are a lot of band/club posters. AIF comes up with play shots and invictus comes up with Morgan Freeman. Imma stop the creepiness now). I almost can't believe there's only one more chapter left D:

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Review #39, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: seven.

25th September 2012:
This was a beautifully contrasting chapter! :3 The change of style seemed to perfectly fit drunk Astoria, because the words were so much less structured and far more over the place, and it was so much like landing in her muddled thoughts.

It was strange at first to have all Astoria's ideas so muddled, because we don't really know why she's upset and what's happened to Draco - just that he's gone, and she can't take it quite yet. It was a different kind of effective and it does make me extremely curious about what will happen to them now, since they've seemed so inseparable, but now...

Your last paragraphs were so lovely, the phrase which originally pulled me in -"goodness is a seed, it starts in the heart and spreads its leaves through the body like electricity - appearing, and all the subtle similies used throughout (such as Astoria being like her fan) made me smile so much. All the theories on life and relationships you write make me think a lot, and it's good to be able to engage so much with your lovely story :)

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Review #40, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: six.

25th September 2012:
This has got to be my favourite chapter so far :3 There was just such an air of peace and contentment that almost seemed to emanate from the words, as Astoria's friendship with Draco had found its place and it had helped her to /do/ things.

I loved the descriptions of their outings together, how they're learning lessons at college - you've shown their process of learning to become 'real' people and gain a 'normal' understanding so clearly, and their camaraderie seems so much more bonding because they're going out into the world together. I love how both their lives are better with the other in it, and how they just slot in nicely with the other, because it feels like a simple and true sort of romance that's been forgotten.

And Hannah - the little ways in which you show Astoria noticing things about people where before she saw very little, such as Hannah's age, is subtly telling. I do love how you show hints and let us work it out for ourselves, because I feel a lot more involved in their lives than otherwise.

Ooh I do so love the ending, too - Hannah's words wouldn't be so profound if Astoria didn't pay so much heed to her words, but as it is, I love how we can see that she's dropped the perfect idea of how to be in Astoria's head. It's all so lovely and I can't wait to see what Draco's been doing, either :D

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Review #41, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: five.

25th September 2012:
Aww, there was so much progress in so few words in this chapter! I just love how you've written Astoria's revelations to herself, because they're tied closely to Draco's words and as she peels back layers of beliefs, we can see her values getting closer to Draco's. It's gradual, though, and the time to get there feels natural and easy.

I do like Draco and Astoria talking more. You write his words in a poetic style, but because they are so similar to the style of Astoria's thought train, it is easy to see how they fit together in this way that nobody else does.

It's difficult to look back and see the moment when this closeness was established because you've written the progression to this stage of honest talking and hand-holding so neatly - it feels real enough to imagine yourself in their places, but not so normal as to lose interest at all. They're both unique, and I love that :)

I like the little reminders of real life, too, though - how they need to get jobs, since Draco hasn't any money. How they're still battling other people's views and morals of parents. It sort of brings Astoria's flyaway thoughts back around in a circle to earth, relating it back to the solid events we know of. This was a generally lovely chapter, and I do look forward to reading more :D

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Review #42, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: four.

25th September 2012:
Aah all the Drastoria interaction is just so lovely here - treated to a full chapter of focus on their new, sort-of relationship. I love how you show the details which seem simple and those which seem fuzzy, hard to decide on, because sometimes they're such different ideas to mine which Astoria is unsure about, and sometimes so similar.

I love the comparisons between Draco and Astoria, too - how it's clear that they have both been thinking that they know each other, judging each other, but have come to realise that they know nothing more than the other people who judge them, too. It's nice to see them discovering more solid facts about each other because of that, such as how they both studied human anatomy once they realised their parents' beliefs were not unshakeable.

It's also nice to see them emerging into the world a bit more, under Draco's influence at least, and becoming a bit less introverted with each other, since it's felt almost surreal until now, how Astoria can move between her few places without touching spheres without anyone else. Now, it already feels as though she's becoming bound to Draco.

Your description is always so lovely and magical, but this chapter's seemed especially entrancing as you described the shift in Astoria's shifting view of herself. I do look forward to reading more! :)

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Review #43, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: three.

25th September 2012:
eep eep this is all so wonderful! I just lurve how you're showing the snippets of their shakily-established relationship, the slowly-emerging understanding as they learn a little more about each other through the vulnerable silence. And the quote "They were learning about each other all in the wrong order, but nobody had ever said that love was a well-timed mechanism, ticking faithfully as a bomb towards detonation. They were vulnerable in their silence before the regular time, but it was all building towards the same result, the same ending place." -- (sorry for choosing the long version!) sums it all up so perfectly, giving us these bright little hints that there can be something more between them.

It's interesting to read Astoria's musings of how much imagination she has, too - we're never sure if she is creating hers and Draco's relationship all in her head, or if she is reading it all perfectly. Her creeping doubts of if she's looking for love in the wrong places keep me rooting for them more than if it was just laid out nicely, too - you've made the romance into this tantalising mystery :D

I do like Draco's characterisation thus far, too. He's downtrodden and not in a great place, but you've given him a routine and hope, so we still cling onto his getting better and will Astoria to talk to him.

I do like how it's not written in a set timescale of "last Wednesday this happened and tomorrow I went here" because the vague drifting of time matches the attitude of Astoria and did I mention that I love the style and progression of this story? Because I do :)

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Review #44, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: two.

25th September 2012:
Draco! Ooh I do like how he's been woven in and out of this chapter, a small feature of Astoria's life, and how his appearance triggered more realisations about herself - that she didn't like people, that she was unused to human interaction. It just shows the small effect he's already having, and triggering shippy feels too~

I like knowing more about Astoria's life, too. Her routine and what she likes to do and where to go show us just as much as her thoughts can, and the way she goes between the library and the Leaky demonstrate her lack of human interaction. The way you describe her thrill at not knowing if she's staying or going, but knowing she can't really go, are also subtler hints to her character that I love.

Ahh Hannah's married? :D You've characterised her so well already as the kind woman who wants to help Astoria where she can but isn't sticking her nose into everything. She's just lovely, and I do hope Neville pops in at some point ;)

The way her potential interest in love and her emotions are described are very different to how I've seen them written before, but it still feels just as romance-y and emotional as other, more plain-reading stories - just more magical (if this all makes sense). Though the cliffhanger is mean, it's definitely worked ;)

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Review #45, by TheGoldenKneazleElectric Pow-Wow: one.

25th September 2012:
I know I appear to have gotten into the habit of saying this, but I LOVE THIS ALREADY. It's magical and winding, with all the descriptions so beautifully laid out that it's easy to lose yourself in Astoria's world.

The opening scene was lovely. It painted a picture of Astoria's past and showed us how she was ever searching for something bigger, how she didn't want to hold onto anything except that. I loved having her thought train described, because we could begin to see how she functioned, which is often harder to get a handle on - but with your Astoria, I already feel as though I've read a novel about her.

The scene with Hannah was also lovely, because you compared the two and how different yet similar they were, as well as showing us more about how Astoria handled herself with her peers. I liked the details about how the marking of time's passage (ie. clocks ticking) irk her.

Your flow is gorgeous, your characterisation brilliant, and I cannot wait to read more about this romance that Hannah has declared she is on a quest for!

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Review #46, by TheGoldenKneazleAn Improbable Fiction: Old Secrets

25th September 2012:
EEP THAT ENDING WAS FABULOUS! I do feel sorry for Rose and everyone who didn't know the truth up til now, but you wrote Rose so humourously at the end, that I exploded into a fit of giggles :D

Resuming the natural order for reviewing - I did love the crazy journey to the DOM with Pickwick Hornby, because apart from depicting perfectly what their mission into the afterlife will be like (chaotic), the planning that Hornby did went so very wrong when confronted with the reality of his A Team - we can see more clearly how they will all mesh together as a team. You mentioned that there was a lot of characterisation going on, but I love it! We need it so we can get a feel for who's who and how they will affect the A team :)

Draco and Astoria are here! Eep they're two people I didn't expect to see, but I enjoyed their cameo roles enormously. You've written them so well, I think, especially since you've had to almost work backwards (Scorpius is like this ergo...). Astoria was exactly the mum I'd imagined her to be, caring but seemingly forgetful, and Draco with his fake tan and abrasive attitude - you've made them almost a parody of themselves, and I love it, not least because of Harry's reactions to Draco's questions. The subtlety of him almost calling Draco 'Malfoy' and being curt engaged your brain, and I loved that!

IRMA GOURD, ERMAHGERD. Such a brilliant, brilliant name, and I am very interested to see what happens if/when the Team comes back with unearthly beauty too~ It's a brilliant plot twist, though I do so want to see what Irma will be doing to help the team!

Also, the details about sparkly Cedric? Highly amusing ;) althought Herbert's strange prophecy! Makes me wonder if Percy will fail at his job of making peace... Brilliant start to Book II, in all, and I am very excited for the update :D

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Review #47, by TheGoldenKneazleAn Improbable Fiction: -intermission-

25th September 2012:
Oooh this was surprisingly exciting for an intermission, and I love it! Everyone was assembling and it's a nice sort of build-up to the next sequence of events - brief respite before the next action picks us up.

It was strangely lovely to see more of Harry in this new environment, since it's been a time since we last saw him in action and a lot has changed in his world. You have him written magnificently in-character, and I love the little snippets of his relationship with the others in the team that we see (alright, largely poor Hugo, the accidental comic on occasion).

I did so love some of Hugo's observations while he made the sort of transformation to his 'true self' - the leader and adventurer, which you portray so subtly that we take it for granted that he is happier in this sort of role.

I'm interested to see how the new Ministry officials will affect the team, too - who will storm out in a temper first? (Probably Cedric, and then accidentally propel himself into the as-yet-nonexistent Second Realm... on a side note, I adore how imagination-stimulating this story is, because at the end of each chapter there are so many possibilities on what could happen next, and I love to spend time imagining what might occur!)

Poor Ron and Harry - I really don't envy them having to tell Hermione about Hugo, but I wonder if she will react like her daughter did in 'Adventure' when the trio returned, or if she will do something totally unexpected :D I'm very excited for Book II to begin officially now!

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Review #48, by TheGoldenKneazleAn Improbable Fiction: With a Flourish

25th September 2012:
PLAN!! Omigosh with every chapter I see more and more why this won the "Most Convoluted Plot" Diadem, because the plot develops every chapter and I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHERE IT IS GOING.

You've brought together all the post-announcement sections brilliantly into this secret group; everyone has a job, and I LOVE how perfect they all are for the jobs! Like Muriel for bringing together the other Heads, and leaving Flitwick to sort out bedrooms? So clever :D And the adventure troupe for travelling to Ghostlandia - it's a massively exciting plot progression and I can't wait to see what happens 8D

Ahha the characterisation too! With every chapter the characterisation of everyone gets even more addictive, such as Hugo's on/off perceptiveness and little comments (preach, sistah!) which really carry the action forward, to Marjie's long-winded explanations. I love seeing more of her and Rose, and how they all bounce off each other and know when to help each other out (like Neville stopping Rose from shouting, Hugo trying to help his Uncle) - they're acting like a team already :D

And yay for using Hugo as Secret Keeper! It's so lovely that he's getting recognition for his previous adventure from some of the people who matter most to him, and now he's going to be in another one with them all - DOM training sounds scary but cool O.O I do wish that Ron acknowledged his kids a bit more, although I guess he's on a big mission thing :) And MORE NEVILLE/SCORPIUS BROMANCE! Shared sheepish looks! I am unbelievably excited about getting the 'Adventure' trio back together 8D

I can't wait to begin reading Book II, because with travelling to Ghostlandia, DOM training, and Muriel's attempts at peace talks, it's all extremely addictive and I just want to read it all so much :3 Fabulous wrap-up for Book I!

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Review #49, by TheGoldenKneazleAn Improbable Fiction: Despite Complication

25th September 2012:
ALL HAIL THE GATHERING OF COOL AND IMPORTANT PEOPLE FOR SHENANIGANS! It's all so very exciting because all through the chapter, the characterisation and events have been building up until we're desperate to know what's happening - but the ending is so brilliant because it's all cliff-hanger-y now and everything is about to begin all over again!

It's so brilliant to watch all the different jigsaw pieces slot into place for another big scene, but starting out with Percy and Muriel was a stroke of genius, because they're both such accidentally-comic characters. You wrote the reactions of them both to each other so well, with Muriel relishing her evil news and Percy slowly realising this, that I could picture it all so perfectly and sort of wanted to cackle along evilly with Muriel :P

I love seeing more details of slightly-older-Hugo, too, with his unicorn appreciation and need to prove he's had a Shining Moment. You show his thought processes and how he works really nicely - without overstating every move he makes, just having Neville wonder about him a bit and show some less logical thoughts of Hugo's. It makes Hugo seem a lot more real and relatable.

And Rose and Marjie! I love how they're becoming more friendly, it makes a lot of sense but is also squeeably cute and I just want to be both of them :3 Also, I love this line - inevitably, Hugo seemed to be speaking to her even when he wasn't around. It just reminds me that Rose and Hugo ARE still closely related, and think more like each other than impressions might lead us to believe :)

But there's so much excitement now that Rose and Marjie have accidentally helped to call a large meeting (late at night? I love it, with all these shenanigans seeming much more exciting when they're at night, and Amos' observation - You Hogwarts bunch have the worst timing - also adds much humour). I can't wait to find out what the problem is with Madam Maxime and the suspicious article they found!

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Review #50, by TheGoldenKneazleAn Improbable Fiction: To Its Rightful Place

25th September 2012:
Aah so much excitement already! I loved you showing the after-effects of the excitement-filled night before, because it really helped the message to sink in that the Tournament is going ahead 8D I feel so much as though it's all happening to all of us who read it, you're just describing it all so beautifully!

Poor Percy, for starters - it was nice to round off the night in a new chapter, because it reminded us what was happening to them still, and the comical note was a lovely way to end the night! I did feel sorry for poor Percy, who does like to feel so above Flitwick's merry ideas, but really... isn't. Your characterisation of the weary man is just brilliant, and I can't help thinking that he's spot-on :D

Ooh the reaction in the Great Hall the next morning - you had it all so perfect! I love how you've given Hogwarts a spark of childish merriment that reflects Hugo's attitude to everything, and the food fight was just another fantastic detail which makes me want to join in so much! Your descriptions are always so lovely, too, and Hugo's trek through the corridors smelling badly, debating fangirls, and changing his mind about what he needs to do - it's all very vivid and easy to see in your head :)

YAY for more Neville and Scorpius! eep there is so much excitement going around, but I love how you show that they know to distance themselves from it for self-preservation. It's sad that they can't join in as much, though I do have a feeling that circumstances may arise in which they are needed ;)

I am verrry excited now to find out what will happen in Amos' treaty talks with the Greenlandic Minister, how they will involve herds of elk, and what will happen to Hugo before he gets to Greenhouse Seven :D Eep you write too brilliantly and with too fantastic a plot for me to remain placid!

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