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GAH I loved this. TONS. I've never given the idea much thought, but I just really, really like it. Ginny/Tom. :D

You wrote it very well, and poor Ginny was so distraught.

I pretty sure I'm going to be shipping Ginny/Tom now. xD

Author's Response: Hey,

I'm glad that you liked my story!

Tom/Ginny forever! :)

I liked this story. Your writing flows very well, and there are hardly any spelling/grammar mistakes at all, which I positively adored.

It was cute, though completely unrealistic. I don't want to be harsh about stating my opinion...anyhoo. It was kind of cliche, where Draco and Hermione suddenly love each other. You need explanation as to why they suddenly love each other. Jumping straight into it is confusing and...well, it just doesn't work. Draco absolutely hates Granger and everything about her, and Hermione absolutely hates Malfoy and everything about him. I know it's going to be OOC making them love each other anyway, but you need some sort of prologue and build up to their love for each other.

You should, however, keep writing! You're very talented, don't let this review get you down. I didn't mean it cruelly in any way. :) You just need to work on characterization and plot a bit.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing :)

I agree. I've been reading other Dramione fics and I definitely need a prologue of some sorts to explain why they suddenly like each other. You've been very helpful, thanks.

Happy Holidays :D
Goodness, things are getting juicy. :) This chapter made me hate Elizabeth. A lot. I'm also not sure about Anthony...I thought I liked him at first...but then he had to go and be weird. I don't know. I guess I'll find out! :D I've been forgetting to mention in the last 5 reviews, but I also love the element of humor you have in each chapter. The leggy brunette, Will's determination to stay away from the potion, making fun of Slughorn...very good to add a dash of humor in such a dark/moody story.

No mistakes at all! :)

10/10 (Were you expecting anything but?)


Author's Response: This one made you hate Elizabeth? Ohhh, you're really not gonna like what she's got in store then. *shifty eyes* Prepare to loathe...

Ah, Anthony is kinda weird. He's like this multi-layered fellow. He's smart and smooth and can blend in to his background, but at the same time, he isn't afraid to blurt out things and but into people's coversations in the library. Since the story is in third person, Regulus limited, I can't really show Anthony outside of the group (though I so wish that I could have). Makes it a bit harder to clarify him as a person, but I hope that he's understood when the time comes. :D To be honest, if he was real, I wouldn't wanna be around him. LOL

I'm glad that you like the small humor. I'm not particularly funny, but I feel that it's better to not go full drama/dark right out of the gate. I'm really hoping that it shows a transition as he gets older. The way his humor fades and his light starts to go dim. I feel like I'm spoiling the story, but Regulus as a main means that his ending is pretty much spoiled anyways. :P

Again, thank you so much for all the really kind reviews!! --Jenna

((You're coming up on the editing chapters. You might notice in the summary it says there is a minor edit happening. It involves where the Potion is being brewed. Initially, I wrote it happening in the Classroom, but that felt too "plot forced" to me, so I am in the process of editing these few chapters to relocate it to the hidden space. :D Since the next three you'll read aren't edited yet. I didn't want you confused. Have I mentioned thank you??))
Oo, I really like how this is progressing and I hope I can by my thoughts typed out before I forget. :) First of all, I really like the developing tension between Elizabeth and Regulus. I knew it would happen but you know... Anyway. I really like Anthony. Aw, he's so sweet! :) And the very end...the reference to Sirius...was like a cherry on top of a perfectly written chapter. :) It made me sad.

One typo spotted! His eyes were on a leggy brunette perusing on of the nearest shelves. - perusing on should be perusing one.

10/10! :)


Author's Response: I'm glad that you found it tense. :D I'm not typically a tension kinda person, so I'm liking that it came off right. Thank you!

Yay, you liked the Sirius bit. :D He's a running theme, so to speak. Makes his cameos, plays a tiny role. He's sort of this hovering force and I wanted to find subtle ways to remind the readers that he is still there in Regulus' head, despite not being physically there. So happy that it's coming off right!

Thank you again, so much. --Jenna

And thanks for the catch. :D
Okay, I'll admit it... I like Will and Topher. They're awesome. :D I loved this chapter, because I too hate Slughorn, and seeing him so perfectly portrayed was...well, it was nice of you to make fun of him. :) Really though, fabulous job.

One mistake I spotted: Boys, how were you summers? - You just forgot the r on your. Small typo. :)

I didn't think I'd like Marauders Era, but I've found that it's rather enjoyable in a Slytherin's point of view. :D

10/10 again.
xx Haven

Author's Response: Topher is one of my favorite characters, hands down! I'm glad that you like Will. :D He never has any fans. Well...they don't usually stay. Lol. Maybe you'll hang in there for him. :D

I'm so glad that you decided to this a shot and even more so that you're actually enjoying it. :D Thank you so much! --Jenna

Ah, I'll edit that "your" when the others get out. I hate overloading the edit queue. :(
I loved it, just like the others. Aw, I feel so sorry for poor Regulus. :( I just want to hug him, you know? Haha, kidding. :) I don't like how pushy Elizabeth is. Gah. Other than that, she's okay. There's something about her that just irks me.

One mistake I caught: 'having a much easier time once he his shower caused him to become fully awake.' - Remove 'he'.

I'm off to read more! Well, I would, but my iPod is about to die. I'll catch up this weekend when I get my laptop back.


Author's Response: "He" has been stricken. :D Thanks again. Editing too fast is a big problemo for me. :D

I get that "wanna hug him" feeling sometimes. But then I remember what he would most likely do to me if I were to hug I run. Lol.

Elizabeth is a full Slytherin. :D There could be a lot that irks you. Or, you could like her Snakey-ness.

Thank you for another awesome review!! --Jenna
Yikes, another brilliant chapter. I really love how you describe Regulus's feelings so well - or at least his nervous habits. It really brings a lot of depth to his character. I'm not sure what I think of Elizabeth yet, but Will and Topher sound like good old Slytherins. :)

Absolutely nothing to point out in the grammar/spelling department, as you probably already knew.

I like how you're taking the time to set things up and introduce the characters before you get into the full-blown story. It's not rushed, nor is it too slow.
Fabulous again, dearie. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you again!

I'll be honest, I hate Elizabeth. As a "character" not to write. She's actually quite enjoyable to write and I think you'll find that as the story progresses, you'll form a strong opinion to one side or the other. :D Being a Slytherin lover, you might end up one of her few fans.

Thanks!! --Jenna
I really, really loved this chapter. The mysterious guy instantly drew me in, and combined with your descriptive and detailed writing, it was fabulous! It flowed very well, I loved the flashback especially. And the significance behind Regulus's burn...perfect!

I think you've hit both Regulus and Sirius spot on, characterization-wise. Gah, their mother...just as dreadful as JKR describes her portrait.

Absolutely no spelling mistakes that I could spot, and only one typo: you had a period right next to a semicolon for some reason.

I'll definitely continue reading and reviewing...


Author's Response: That dreaded period has been hunted down and banished. Thanks for pointing it out. :D

And thank you for such a nice review! I'm glad that you enjoy the characterizations of Sirius of Walburga. :D Though they aren't main characters, they are so important to Regulus' life, so I struggle to get them where I need them. Again, just thank you for the kindness. :D --Jenna
I stumbled across this when I was searching for my own story, {Inside the Fire} :D Yeah, I'm too lazy to sign in sometimes. Anyway, I read this because I LOVE Disturbed, and when I finished, I nearly CRIED! Absolutely beautiful! :D I'm off to read more of your other stuff... ^-^
Oh, and one last thing...were you aware that there's a typo in the chapter title? You have an extra 'd' there. :D Thought I'd mention it. ^^! This story is absolutely delightful, I cracked up! :D Please write more, I need to laugh more like I just did! ^-^

Author's Response: I'm having a major case of writer's block, i haven't written in more than a month and i am so sorry! I want to bring Neville back, and I kind of have some ideas, so expect more soon, and thanks for the review :)
2010-08-11 4:06pm
Absolutely fantastic, and I have to admit, it almost made me cry. That's the highest praise I can give; your writing is that detailed and beautiful. I really like that you made this more sensible than what I've seen...even if it was indeed bittersweet.
I think I'll go off and read the companion to this. It has to be as good as this one. :)
Aww I love this story, you portray the Marauders perfectly, in my opinion! My only advice would be to watch your spelling...but there's not much of that! :) Write more, please!

Author's Response: thanks! I'm glad I portrayed them right, I was a bit worried. =) and yes I know I am the absolute worst speller, spell check is a life saver! but it cant catch everything. I'll go back through and see if i can fix it. Glad you like it!


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