Harry Potter Fanfiction – Read Over 85,000 Stories!

Hi. Iâ€™ll start with my usual phrases: 1) Sorry about my suck-ish English. 2) Sometimes (almost always) Iâ€™m writing review while I read the story, so my reviews are strange. 3) Short review doesnâ€™t mean that I donâ€™t like story, because my long reviews are worse than short-ones. :D 4) Iâ€™m not very helpful, I just write my thoughts, because Iâ€™m only a reader too.
Now â€“ letâ€™s see what I think about your one-shoot story. I licked my lips (lol) about rating, God, I love mature stories, especially if theyâ€™re about evil characters. But I hate Pansy, maybe Iâ€™m jealous, but somehow I have sense that Draco (I mean Rowlingâ€™s Draco, not yours) doesnâ€™t love Pansy. Sheâ€™s soâ€¦annoying. 
Congrats with beta â€“ that makes your story better in my eyes.
â€œHe hair was a mess and sprawled..â€ I guess you mean â€œher hairâ€. Ow, that was very sweet, Draco who just wants to see someoneâ€™s eyes.
Iâ€™m a bit confused about paragraphs where you were talking about Dumbledoreâ€™s death, did he died in his office? I donâ€™t think soâ€¦Maybe Iâ€™m wrong, but Iâ€™m 99% sure that it happened in one of castleâ€™s towers.
Usually I hate love letters, because they are too sweet, to touching and too soppy, but yours wasnâ€™t, actually that letter was the better part of story, especially that paragraph when Draco asked Pansy not to join Voldemortâ€™s side. You changed my mind about Draco/Pansy. ^^
I canâ€™t really say why, but I didnâ€™t like part about future, I understand that you wanted to shove that Draco& Pansy will be together, but I would like this story better if the end would be â€œPansy slowly lowered the letter to her lap. She knew that Draco had changed and for the better as well. She then began to sob horribly into her hands as her heart yearned for the boy that she never could see again.â€ Usually I donâ€™t like unanswered questions in one-shoot, but for me this fic would be more interesting if there wouldnâ€™t be happy future. Although scene in the library was nice and talk about returning reasons too.
Okay, Iâ€™ll stop torture you with my strange thoughts. 7/10.
And donâ€™t stop, keep writing.
~Eva.

Author Response

Thanks for the review and for pointing these things out to me

Hi, sorry that I keep you waiting, I was busy. As always Iâ€™ll start with my usual phrase: sometimes Iâ€™m writing review while I read, so my review may seem strange. Short review doesnâ€™t mean that I donâ€™t like story. :D And my reviews arenâ€™t very helpful, I just write my thought, because Iâ€™m only a reader too.
Black sisters sounds good, I only donâ€™t like 12+ :P (Am I perverted?) Congrats with beta, it means that youâ€™re serious writer, I mean, all writers should have find beta, because sometimes itâ€™s so sad that good plot seems hard to understand because there are lot of mistakes. 
I laughed about this sentence: â€œBellatrix had refused to share a bed with Rodolphus until she had gotten that tiara.â€ I always loved Bella.
Soâ€¦ Idea about three different brides is perfect, really, I enjoyed it form first to last word. If you have read 7 HP book, you could change something in second part (I mean about Andromeda and her look), but otherwise itâ€™s perfect. I guess I canâ€™t say anything bad. :D Story was interesting despite fact that there wasnâ€™t real plot (adventures and etc.) 9/10.
Keep writing!
~Eva.

Author Response

Don't worry, I'm not too fond of 12+ either...in fact I rarely ever read it.  I only made this a 12+ because I really had no reason to make it not, you know?  This is how it came out when I wrote it and it was a definite 12+ fic.  I like betas...they find the stupid mistakes I make so that I don't feel stupid when a reader points them out.  I, too, love Bella...I think she's a fun character that you really can't <i>hate</i>.  I probably won't be making the corrections with DH, merely because it's so small and insignificant.

Thanks for reviewing!

Hi, again! :D Iâ€™m thankful that you donâ€™t forget about me. Because I love your story. ^^
Do you have a new banner? I donâ€™t remember this one (?), however this one is perfect. XD. Iâ€™m a banner-lover. 
Of course I canâ€™t say anything bad about your language, grammar and style. You have very good writing style, I mean, you know how to write about feelings â€“ when I read fanfics I almost always can easy imagine picture, but you make me feel the story too. All those little details about Hermioneâ€™s feelings are perfect. Iâ€™m talking about sentences like this: â€œShe could recall the taste of sweet lemonade and her Grandmother's best marzipan cake, but clearer than everything she could remember the butterflies filling her stomach each time she caught Ron's eyes from across the table.â€ Small details (marzipan cake, lemonade, Ronâ€™s eyes) make your story different from others, eh, Iâ€™m jealous. :D
I almost hate Ron/Hermione fics, becauseâ€¦I just donâ€™t like Ron (okay after 7th book Iâ€™m slowly changing my mind), and again I must say that your story is so different. I like Ron from Hermioneâ€™s POV; I was so happy and sad at once when Hermione noticed that heâ€™s crying, when I read first chapter I wondered how she and Draco will get together (because of Draco/Hermione in summary), but now I hope that hey wonâ€™t :D because your Ron/Hermione seems perfect to me. Hermioneâ€™s feelings are so true, so special, soâ€¦ err, my English isnâ€™t so good, I canâ€™t say what I mean, but I hope that you understand me.
There werenâ€™t accidents, many interesting news, secrets, but still it was great. Your story has taste of reality and true emotions. I love it. 10/10.
~Eva

P.S. Poke me when the next chapter is up. Please.

Author Response

Hi Eva! :D Wow, I am so happy you enjoy my story so much! :D I haven't had any other banners, although it might be that I just put it up by the time you reviewed.

Me

Hi! I always start with my usual phrase: Iâ€™m writing review while I read, so my review may seem strange. Sometimes I write long reviews, sometimes very short. Short reviews donâ€™t mean that I donâ€™t like story. And my reviews arenâ€™t very helpful, I just write my thought. Iâ€™m only a reader too. :P
Letâ€™s see. Song fic? Oh, myâ€¦ I guess Iâ€™m not good at song fics, they seems so strange to me. (Nice banner, btw.) It will be about little Severus Snape? Cool, I love fanfics about Lily/Severus/Luna/Marauders. Okay, *finds and plays back Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson* I guess I must listen this song.
First thing that I noticed â€“ you have written it in â€œIâ€, but sometimes thereâ€™s third person (â€œ..but never, never had they argued over himâ€), you should re-read it again, and actually I think that for song-fics third person is better than first. Lyrics fits with plot of the story, itâ€™s only strange to listen it, because Kelly is a girl, but Severus â€“ a boy (itâ€™s obvious, of course :D).
Good fic, good language, no problems with grammar, but I would like to read a little more. I donâ€™t know why, but I have feeling that there should be more, some questions arenâ€™t answered (for me). My favourite part (itâ€™s very touching): â€œOther kids want a bike or a skateboard for their birthday. But I only want one thing - I want my parents to stop fighting. I wanted them to love each other, just as they did when they got married and had me.â€
Yeah, I suggest you to write in third person. Nice, touching story, that makes me smile (when I think about little Snape) and be sad at once. 7.5/10.
Donâ€™t stop writing and good luck!
~Eva.

Author Response

Oooh, a long review! I loved the banner too! I will fix the third person part, sorry - I'm so used to writing in 3rd person. XD Yeah, I thought it wouldn't be a little girly song but if you're listening to kelly sing while reading....well, that's another story. LOL! I'm sorry you thought it was too short but i kinda meant it that way. Hmm, maybe I'll add more details later. But for now, Sorry. :( Yes, third person is what I'm very comfortable at. Glad you liked that sentence! Your review was certainly helpful. Glad you liked it! Thanks so much for reviewing!

(I always start with my usual phrase: Iâ€™m writing review while I read, so my review may seem strange. Sometimes I write long reviews, sometimes very short. Short reviews donâ€™t mean that I donâ€™t like story. And my reviews arenâ€™t very helpful, I just write my thought. Iâ€™m only a reader too.)
Whoa, story about Nicolas Flamel and his wife? That should be interesting.
I guess itâ€™s the first time when I read all at once and didnâ€™t stop to write something. Soâ€¦ I like this fanfic because of your language, sentences and those memories; I like it because of interesting and non-typical idea, because of touching sense. Itâ€™s very good-written, I guess you shouldnâ€™t change anything (I didnâ€™t find any grammar mistakes too). It has no exciting plot or surprises, but still itâ€™s very, very good. Itâ€™s always nice â€“ to read about something that I had wonder (Nicolas Flamel and his wife) and about something that you canâ€™t read everywhere (there are thousand fics about Marauder era/Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy/..).
My favourite part it this: â€œBut to be taken away forever from this world that theyâ€™d known for centuries? After five hundred years and the end drawing near, it almost seemedâ€¦a blessing.â€
What could I say? :D 9/10. 
~Eva.

Author Response

Thank you so much for the review. Sometimes I wonder as to it's effect not having the big dramatic plot, but I'm glad to see that it's still interesting. :)

Hi, sorry that I kept you waiting, I was very busy, but I promised, so here I am.
(I always start with my usual phrase: Iâ€™m writing review while I read, so my reviews may seem strange. Sometimes I write long reviews, sometimes very short. Short reviews donâ€™t mean that I donâ€™t like story. And my reviews arenâ€™t very helpful, I just write my thought. Iâ€™m only a reader too.) Okay, thatâ€™ll do. 
Iâ€™m confused about Era, because thereâ€™s Severus/Lily and Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore at the same time. Severus/Lily ^_^ Iâ€™m obsessed with fics about Lily. Iâ€™m not a fangirl of HP era, but I better read and then will talk. Oh, and sorry about my suck-ish English, sometimes I donâ€™t even understand some phrases in fanfics. *Innocent smile*
I love your fluent language, long sentences and variety of words. (But I donâ€™t like those ---. Kind of strangeâ€¦) I know that you wrote it before HP 7, and Iâ€™m not sure that youâ€™ve reed it, so I hope that my review wonâ€™t have spoilers (I hope that you read that book). But amazing! Youâ€™ve guessed in which side Snape is. ^^ I always thought that heâ€™s good one. I like first paragraphs â€“ Snapeâ€™s thoughts. Theyâ€™re realistic. I read about Ellessa, you shove her nice, but I sometimes like to read not only about eyes, hair and robes, itâ€™s nice if you mention something about freckles, birthmarks, bitten nails, rings, earrings, strange shoes or fake eyelashes â€“ something interesting, specific. But you still have done it good. (â€œShe held her head high, her graceful, swan-like neck stretching upward.â€)
â€œIn the wizarding world, apparating into someoneâ€™s house was extremely rude, but since when had Ellessa cared when she offended someone?â€ Oh, I love strong heroes. ^^ Cookies for you. I have an inkling that Ellessa has great secret (it would be nice, because first chapter must be interesting, with some secrets). I laughed about â€œShe could have told that she was in love with the Dark Lordâ€. Why itâ€™s so unbelievable? Lol. Poor Dark Lord. 
It seems to me that Severus is young; itâ€™s Marauder Era, isnâ€™t it? At first I thought that itâ€™s HP era, blah, Iâ€™m so stupid. Now I have some ideas about story, about their kid. Itâ€™ll be main character of all story, if Iâ€™m not wrong. :D And now Iâ€™m confused about Lily/Severus thing. How do youâ€¦? Okay, forget it. I. Must. Read.
So hearty thought of Severus Snape was strange. Okay, heâ€™s human too (and I love evil ones), but it really was strange, especially when he looked at photo and wonder is his daughter is healthy or not. Not even talking about screams of agony.
What could I say? Very good language, grammar and style, interesting 1st chapter, definitely I will read more, because story is interesting. Maybe Iâ€™m not very pleased with mine plot, but as I said â€“ good enough to read more. 8/10.

Author Response

Yes, the Lily/Snape thing is a bit vague, but it IS in there. Remember that Snape constantly thanking about a woman I only refer to as 'her' and I mention 'the only one he loved'. Well, that'd be Lily. I wrote the whole thing going on the belief that, yes, he did love Lily. Yes, they were childhood friends. Yes, he did warn Dumbledore. And, yes, he did come back to Dumbledore's side because of it. (And yes, I did read the seventh book, just erm, not before I wrote this) And as for why he ended up with the child with Ellessa, well, pay close attention to this line. <i>He didnâ€™t understand what had possessed him to start the relationship, only that he had once again been hurt by her and heâ€™d wanted to force himself to feel for someone--anyone--else.</i> Basically what happened was Severus had heard that Lily was pregnant and was tormented by it. So through the pain, he made a very bad mistake. Yeah, it's stupid, it's awful, it's a bit sick, but the guy's only human. And I'll explain more on this later.

And, yeah, so if the era was confusing but it mainly is set in the HP era. This Prologue is set long before that, about twelve-eleven years before the first book.

Um, I think that's all of it. All and all, I hope you like it and I hope you continue to read.

(Sorry, something is wrong with my computer, so review wasn't completed, but... okay, there's the last part of 1 cgapter review).

Author Response

Hi, sorry that I kept you waiting, I was very busy, but I promised, so here I am.
(I always start with my usual phrase: Iâ€™m writing review while I read, so my reviews may seem strange. Sometimes I write long reviews, sometimes very short. Short reviews donâ€™t mean that I donâ€™t like story. And my reviews arenâ€™t very helpful, I just write my thought. Iâ€™m only a reader too.) Okay, thatâ€™ll do. 
Iâ€™m confused about Era, because thereâ€™s Severus/Lily and Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore at the same time. Severus/Lily ^_^ Iâ€™m obsessed with fics about Lily. Iâ€™m not a fangirl of HP era, but I better read and then will talk. Oh, and sorry about my suck-ish English, sometimes I donâ€™t even understand some phrases in fanfics. *Innocent smile*
I love your fluent language, long sentences and variety of words. (But I donâ€™t like those ---. Kind of strangeâ€¦) I know that you wrote it before HP 7, and Iâ€™m not sure that youâ€™ve reed it, so I hope that my review wonâ€™t have spoilers (I hope that you read that book). But amazing! Youâ€™ve guessed in which side Snape is. ^^ I always thought that heâ€™s good one. I like first paragraphs â€“ Snapeâ€™s thoughts. Theyâ€™re realistic. I read about Ellessa, you shove her nice, but I sometimes like to read not only about eyes, hair and robes, itâ€™s nice if you mention something about freckles, birthmarks, bitten nails, rings, earrings, strange shoes or fake eyelashes â€“ something interesting, specific. But you still have done it good. (â€œShe held her head high, her graceful, swan-like neck stretching upward.â€)
â€œIn the wizarding world, apparating into someoneâ€™s house was extremely rude, but since when had Ellessa cared when she offended someone?â€

Author Response

Of course, Iâ€™m reviewing again. ^^
Itâ€™s nice chapter, yes, butâ€¦ itâ€™s too short. Events arenâ€™t necessary, of course, but Dionelleâ€™s thoughts then could be longer. I hope that 3rd chapter will be at least twice times longer. Actually you could put 1st and 2nd together as one chapter.
About Dionelle I canâ€™t say anything bad or good, because she was talking about Snape and Narcissa, but I could like her, she seems odd a bit, maybe she could get together with Snape :P And I fell sorry for Narcissa, I know her attitude to Snape is evil, but I can understand her, poor purebloods and their â€œgood and famous familyâ€ living style.
Grammar and style is fine again, and as I said, I love stories with more text and less dialogues. Text makes characters more individual and helps to understand their thoughts. Of course, dialogues too, but stillâ€¦ ^^ 
I donâ€™t understand some facts about Evan Rosie; I thought that his wife name is Druella. *searches for information* Oh, sorry, my mistake. â€œAs the maiden name of the mother of Bellatrix Lestrange, Andromeda Tonks, and Narcissa Malfoy was Druella Rosier, it is possible that Evan Rosier is a relative, most likely their cousin.â€ I new that I have read somewhere about Druella. As I said Marauder era and Slytherins are my favourite themes, so I know about them a lot.
8 or 9/10 (hard to decide, because chapter was short) and all my wishes that you will continue. Good luck!
~Eva

P.S. I wasnâ€™t helpful. Sorry. *bites her lip*

Author Response

Marauder era! *happy dance*
Must do some work here (Iâ€™m talking about me, of course)â€¦ I write and read at the same time almost always, so this review could be strange, sorry, ok?
Viviâ€™s banner is beautiful, I like Snapeâ€™s picture. Talking about banners isnâ€™t helpful, but I use to say something, because I think that banner is like trademark, good banner makes think that story is good too. Funny, but thatâ€™s how it is. 
â€œLucius/Narcissa, Snape/OCâ€. Oh my, this could be great. Slytherin fics are my favorites. I donâ€™t know why but there arenâ€™t a lot of them, so this makes your story interesting.
Now Iâ€™ll shut up and read.
Iâ€™m reading and wondering whom belongs those thoughts. Is it Snape? â€œsingle half-blood malesâ€ makes me think that itâ€™s Snape, but Iâ€™m not sure. If only itâ€™s not your point (attract attention), you could write that itâ€™s â€œSnape POVâ€ or something like that. 
Draught of Living Death

Author Response

OMG! Marauders! Finally. ^^
Hi, Iâ€™m Eva and at finally Iâ€™ll do what I promised, okay? Okay. I use to write and read at he same time so my reviews are strange sometimes, donâ€™t take me too sirius-ly. :P
No train, whoa, thatâ€™s niceâ€¦ (Almost all fics, especially Marauder era, starts with scene in the Hogwarts express). Woot. Eve. Iâ€™m Eva or Eve, it will be nice reading.
That Abbie girl is so nice and naÃ¯ve, she must get together with Sirius, really. (Did I mention that Iâ€™m a Sirius fangirl?). But I like Eve better; sheâ€™s so like me, loud and audacious. Nice beginning, but I prefer longer chapters, because now it just seams similar to other fanfics, you could put more incidents, make first chapter longer and others could be shorter. But thatâ€™s only my opinion.
I suppose Abbie is main character, isnâ€™t she? You could show her feelings more, maybe more doubts, and thoughts. She could be clumsy a bit, tear to peaces some glasses or test-tubes at Potionsâ€¦
What could I say? 8/10, because I love Eve and would like to read more. Update soon and PM me when the nezt xhapter is out or just give me a sing in my thread, okay? Please. *puppy eyes* Good luck.
~Eva

P.S. Oh, jerk me, I forgot to tell that grammar, style and language is very good.

Author Response

I'm glad that you liked it! Thanks for the suggestions, but this is a challenge fic and I think I'm gonna keep my characters how they are. Thanks for R & R by the way!

Hi, mischiefmanaged, you have nice story! Iâ€™m not a fangirl of 12+ but I like humor fics ^^ It doesnâ€™t seem too funny for me, but it was a good relax after some serious (Sirius :P) and angsty mature fanfics. What could I say? Your grammar was good (I donâ€™t know English very well, but I use to notice mistakes) and writing style too. 
AU was because of Sirius Black? Iâ€™m just a bit confused about him and broom stealing. 
â€œMy bloody Firebolt is missingâ€

Author Response

Hello there! I'm glad you liked my story. It's fine that you didn't like the humor, you may not find some things funny like I do. There were also some subtle humor in there, um, so yeah.

It was AU because it never really happened in the book. Harry never misplaced his broom, Ron never cuddled it in bed. It is also AU because the characterizations were changed, that may be why some of them seemed out of character.

Thanks for reviewing! =)

(Iâ€™m writing while Iâ€™m reading, so review is strange a bit, sorry.)
Hi, Cait! Draco and Ginny? Ohâ€¦ that could be interesting, because I have read only one story about them, Iâ€™m not sure what am I thinking about them togetherâ€¦ Iâ€™m not a fangirl of HP era, I prefer Marauder era, but I wonâ€™t let prejudices won, Iâ€™ll read and then weâ€™ll see. Just one question. Youâ€™re writing â€œkidnapedâ€, but I think that itâ€™s â€œkidnappedâ€â€¦ Am I wrong?
No train, thatâ€™s good. ^^ Iâ€™m sorry if you think that Iâ€™m weird, but I just have noticed that almost all HP fanfics starts with Hogwarts express scene. Really!
I scrolled up and read summary. OMG! Draco will kidnap Ginny. And then theyâ€™ll fall in love? Amazing ideaâ€¦ 
I read it all without brakes because it was interesting. If Iâ€™m not reviewing next chapter feel free to PM me, because I really enjoyed reading. Maybe some sentences could be better, maybe more thoughts of Ginny, but I was glad to read it. Draco is rough (I donâ€™t read HP era, but I love Draco *blush*) and Ginny is spiteful. Perfect. 
I wasnâ€™t critical because thereâ€™s no need to. Keep writing.
~ Eva.

Author Response

Thank you! 
-Caiti

(Iâ€™m writing while Iâ€™m reading, so review is strange a bit, sorry.)
I like to read stories about OC characters that are in HP, itâ€™s always interesting. I understood that itâ€™ll be about Barty when I read first sentences, maybe I have good intuition, but I did.
I read it all without writing (*happy dance*) and I like it. Maybe itâ€™s not very amazing and interesting because we all know how Barty â€œescapedâ€ from Azkaban, but you made that story personal, dark and emotional. Itâ€™s hard to write about characters who we donâ€™t know too well, I must say that you did it very well. I canâ€™t say anything bad about your grammar (maybe because I donâ€™t know English too well) and writing style. They all is good created characters, I donâ€™t like Barty J. or Barty Senior but they are only characters, someone need to write about bad-ones too. 8/10 because of originality and good writing style (keep writing, darling), Iâ€™m just not too interested about Crouch family.
~Eva.

Author Response

Thanks you for reading and reviewing despite not really liking the Crouches.  I'm glad you like my writing style.  And you must have a pretty good intuition to know immediately that its about Barty from the first sentence alone.  I appreciate your taking the time to review this.  :)

Iâ€™m writing reviews while Iâ€™m reading so they are bit un-orderly. â€œJust so you knowâ€? Is it song from McCartney Jesse? *searches at media player and switches it on* If it is, then itâ€™ll be funny reading. I have a friend who listens it all the time and sings this song loudly even in a bus.
Ciara has made pretty banner for you. :D Harry/Ginnyâ€¦ erâ€¦ As I said I donâ€™t like stories about trio and their loves, donâ€™t know why, but there are only five or six stories from this theme that I like. But thereâ€™s Neville, so it could be interesting.
First paragraph is perfect. Itâ€™s ideal prologue for all story, itâ€™s romantic and sweet. I always thought that Neville and Ginny will be together, because Ginny always was on his side, but Rowling changed my mind. And Iâ€™m not sure that I like Harry/Ginny relationships, I just think that theyâ€™re wrong, so I can understand Neville. If â€œGranâ€ is grandmother, then maybe you could say â€œgrannyâ€. I donâ€™t think that â€œgranâ€ is a word, or is it?
As I saw video-clip of this Jesseâ€™s song, I can easily imagine how Neville feels, but thereâ€™s no need to see that clip, you describe his feelings perfectly. That paragraph where Neville looks at his glass with red wine and thins about red color almost makes me cry (and itâ€™s hard to make me cry). I know that it may sound awkward, but I think that Nevilleâ€™s feelings are described too much a bit, donâ€™t know why, but after some paragraphs I start to think that I would like to read about some actions. But paragraphs about Ginny when Harry was gone perfectly fit in fanfic. Maybe painful memories I like better than painful thoughts about fact that Neville canâ€™t be together with Ginny.
Ohâ€¦ (I read that part when he said that he loves Ginny) That wasâ€¦ shocking. At first I thought that you could write this fic without song, but this time â€œI love youâ€ fits with song lyrics.
Interesting that next part is from Ginnyâ€™s point of view. I donâ€™t like Ginny as Rowlingâ€™s character, but you show her good, she seems nicer and more human. Sometimes we have to make decisions and weâ€™re not gods, itâ€™s hard to ruin perfect life and dreams about marriage, I feel sorry for her. I couldnâ€™t believe that Ginny loves Neville more than Harry, but you describe her feelings in that way (nice language and style, by the way) who makes me believe that Neville is better for her.
I gasped when Ginny asked â€œWhy are you marrying me?â€ to Harry, oh, I new that she will. And Harry must understand. Sheâ€™s not sure, is she? For the first time I wish that girl would choose Neville. :D But I do understand Ginny, all brides are unsure before weddings and she had dreamed about Harry so long. One of fanficâ€™s genres was drama so Iâ€™m afraid about ending, but as I said I saw video-clip. It has happy ending if Iâ€™m not wrong. Amazing how I feel pity for Ginny and Neville, I never thought that I would like story about Ginny. Youâ€™re my hero. ^^
Okay Iâ€™ll read third part know. Oh, so cute ^^ Iâ€™m so happy that Ginny is there, and oh my, theyâ€™re kissing. Finally. â€œBecause the truest love never had anything to do with logic, this was more than right.â€ I could give you a medal about that sentence. Youâ€™re so right, soâ€¦ Youâ€™re very, very good writer, no doubt about it. :D
Now Iâ€™m done with my reviewing, it wasnâ€™t helpful, not at all, theyâ€™re just my thoughts about your fanfic, but it was so nice, so emotional, so touching, that I canâ€™t say something bad about your grammar or writing style. I started with this one and now Iâ€™ll read â€œOnce There Was A Darknessâ€ with no fears. Thank you for great work and good luck in future.
~Eva

P.S. Of course 10/10. ^^

Author Response

Yes, the song is by Jesse McCartney, who I don't generally like too well, but this song was just beautiful and perfect for the story and the Neville/Ginny ship. Oh, and the banner isn't Harry/Ginny. The guy is supposed to be Neville. Doesn't look like it I know. But it is IMPOSSIBLE to find good pictures of Neville. 

Don't fear, I don't like the Harry/Ginny pairing either. In fact, I think I hate it. They're not right for each other, which is why I like Harry/Ginny so well. And, yes, Gran is a word. 

You mention the music video, and to tell you the truth, that's one of the things that inspired me to write this. I'm glad that I managed to portray Neville's feelings well.

You have the same feelings as Ginny as I do. I don't like the way Rowling shows her, but I feel there could have been so much more to the character, so I like working with her. And I believe that Neville IS better for her, and I can see how Ginny could love Neville. I always thought she loved Harry blindly. She's been in love with him since she was eleven, people change through that time, and it would have been hard for her to see the changes. 

I'm so glad that you liked this so well, and I thank you so much for reading and reviewing. This review really touched me.

Iâ€™m writing review while Iâ€™m reading. :D

Iâ€™m confused because I didnâ€™t understand when it happens. (6 year? Or itâ€™s like AU?)
Iâ€™m not Harry/Hermione or Harry/Cho shipper, actually I donâ€™t read fics about Harry at all, but I tried. (I told it in my thread btw.) Still I donâ€™t like it, so Iâ€™m sorry that I canâ€™t say â€œWoot. I love it.â€ Itâ€™s not your fault, because your writing style is good. And language and grammar too. there aren't only dialogues and sentences aren't simple.
So... Draco is nice. I love that â€œWell, feel the fireâ€. I guess Iâ€™m too old for simple â€œI love you, I love you tooâ€ fics, thatâ€™s why I like mature fics, yours is good in that way. :P Emâ€¦ I wouldnâ€™t say that itâ€™s too typical, but still itâ€™s very surprising that they get together so fast. 
I like Cho and Draco better than Harry and Hermione, because they know what they want. Harry seems to unnatural for me.
Keep writing. Sorry that I wasnâ€™t pleasing.

Author Response

Hey!
Iâ€™m sorry that reviewing took so long, but I was busy yesterday. 
1) Iâ€™m not reading â€œafter HPâ€ stories a lot, so Iâ€™m not good at this point, but Iâ€™ll try to say something useful.
2) I love your language. I donâ€™t speak in English, so indictor for me is my dictionary. If I had to use it, it means that language isnâ€™t simply and everyday. I hadnâ€™t problems with reading, everything is written plain, but I used dictionary. Cookies for your writing style.
3) Characters. Very believable. Those little sentences about Hermione (that she â€œhad never been sportiveâ€, the way that she feels when she is running away) makes your story true, I can easily imagine that itâ€™s true. I loved that part when she remember her friends, it was so sweet. ^^ And OMG, Iâ€™m surprised about fact that your story is about Draco/Hermione. Iâ€™m so interested about fact that they will be together, despite fact that Hermione will be a werewolf.
4) Story overall. I like it. Iâ€™m so happy that Iâ€™m reviewing so good fanfics, I guess I can give 10/10. Itâ€™s only prologue and I hope that next chapters will be as good as this one. 1st chapter or prologue is main thing, they make opinion about whole story and your prologue is perfect: angsty, intriguing and makes me wonder â€œWhat will happen with her?â€ So 10 points are yours. :P 

I wasnâ€™t critical because I like your story. :D PM me when the next chapter is out, okay?

~Eva.

Author Response

Wow. Thanks a lot for the long, encouraging review! ^^

I don't have English as my first language either, so I guess keeping it plain is the simplest :P Oh, and answers.com is my good friend in writing: loads of synonyms and definitions to make the text more varied :D

Yeah, I tried to put myself in Hermione's nonathletic position while writing about her escape (which wasn't too hard because I'm lousy at running myself), and it seemed to kinda work :D And the place where she remembers Harry, Ron and Ginny is my favorite part &#9829;

Dramione is slightly overused, although no one can deny that the coupling is superb ;) Goody-goody, muggleborn bookworm meets super-hot pureblooded and egoistic Slytherins + conditions that somehow make them fall for each other = *swooning* 

*does a dance* Yep, ask and you shall receive (a PM I mean) The chapter is written, although I'm afraid I will be unable to post it in the nearest future because I'm going away just before we're allowed to submit stories again :( Will, of course, post as soon as possible :D

And thanks again for the review :D

It's better than 2nd chapter definitely. at first it seemed a bit boring. I don't like to read about Freg/Geroge/whatever, who isn't main character so it's not your story's fault. :D 
their stories were nice, a bit too romantic for me, it's weird that they all are alone now, but that's the idea of the story, isn't it? Tost was nice, I even could imagine how it looks in movie. 
I hope that they'll fint their love. ^^

poke me if I forgot to retur here. Keep writting. *hugs*

Author Response

Emm. I would lie to read longer chapters. You could integrate your 2st and 2nd chapter in one. 
I still like your writing style and fatc that you easily write about actions at past and don't describe all that has happened, because it's not needed. I'm not really sure that Golden Trio could get along with no meetings in two years. Also it's kind of... unbelievable that they all will working together.
Don't worry, I still like your story and I'll read 3rd chapter too. Let's see what will happen. :D

Author Response

So...
A bit typical beginning, but I'm not reading those "after HP" fic a lot so I liked it. I like that all Trio is alive :P and you didn't kill anyone of them at Last War. Also I'm glad that Ginny and harry aren't together. English isn't my nother so I didn't notice big mistakes only some commas were gone. :D I like your writing style so I'll read the next chapter.

Author Response

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