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Your last two chapters were brilliant. I can't wait to see what happens with this "infection" that Draco now has. Great job!

Author Response

Thank you very much ^_^

Another fabulous chapter! Can't wait for the next one! :]

Author Response

thanks a lot! ^_^

Great chapter! I can not wait to see what happens next! :]

Author Response

^_^ and I can't wait to show you ^_-

I thought this was a pretty good one-shot! I especially like the last paragraph. "I smile because I've been given a second chance at living. And the air feels lighter. No longer does it feel as though the Earth is holding it's breath. It has exhaled, and with good reason." - I really enjoyed that line. :]

I don't have much critique, but I did notice a few grammar and spelling mistakes such as; "I'm feel alone." I'm guessing you meant "I feel alone." Well, I'm not going to go and pick out every little mistake so I will leave it at this: Great job! =)

Author Response

Thanks for the review. Would you believe I had four different betas go over this? lol.

Very sad chapter. Ugh I wish Leda could have done more for Sirius. I'm looking foward to your next chapter, but I hope you have a really great vacation!

Author Response

thank you thank you

I can't even tell you how relieved I was when Draco came home just in time. Fabulous chapter; it was definately worth the wait! :]

Author Response

Thank you my dear ^_^ The next one wont be such a wait!

:[ this chapter nearly made my heart break. How could you do that to them? You're an excellent writer and this story is great! update soon.

Author Response

Sorry! and Thank you! I'll try

lovely chapter; I think it turned out fabulously. Update soon!

Author Response

Thanks so much for the review! As soon as I get the 11th chapter done I'll post the 9th one.

Good story! The ending was really great in my opinion. It was happy yet serious since we don't know what the future will bring. Bill's death was horrible, and I feel awful for Fleur. Right before her wedding! =( Your writing was very good and I like your style, it's very precise and to the point. The only thing that I think you might want to work on is your descriptions. You had a few great ones in there, but you were lacking in a few bland sentences. Nice job! =]

Author Response

I'm glad you liked my fic.  The reason I wrote in Bill's death was becasue I think JKR will do something similar to shock us in book 7.  I'm greatful for your constructive criticism, I have noticed that my descriptions are my weakness, I'm working on it at the moment.  Thanks for such a honest and helpful review.

Hello =)
Okay, well let me first start off by saying that you're writing is good and clear. Your descriptions were also pretty good, but you could have probably spent a little more time on them and went further into detail. Some suggestions are describing the character's facial expressions and actions a bit more. It will make your story seem less rushed. Another suggestion is to make your dialouge a little less bland, and throw some lesser used words in there. Other than that I thought this was a good one shot. Draco seemed a bit out of character to me, but I know how hard it can be to really get into a character's head and figure them out. Good job :]

Author Response

Thanks for your review.  I did this fic all in one go and rushed to get it posted.  All your coomments have been very useful and constructive and will take your advice on board when writing my fics.

Oh wow.. I never would have expected it to end like that.. What an amazing ending! I'm pretty much speechless. You have a lot of talent, and I must admit that I loved every second, every word of this story. I hope that in the real seventh book Harry comes out on top just like he did in your story. Fabulous job, this was great writing. 10/10

Author Response

I'm going to guess that they are either at Godric's Hollow or the grave yard. But you never know.. you could have thrown in a twist. =] Good chapter!

Author Response

Well I can assure you that this is like nothing I've ever read before. You are a very talented writer. I just want Harry to beat Voldemort's face in. I bet he is shaking in his cloak now that he has seen what Harry can do! I'd write more but I really want to move on and continue reading!

Author Response

Thanks for the kind review. I'm glad the story seemed to suck you in and make you invest in Harry's struggle, exactly what I wanted.

Ahh..! I can feel my heart going crazy in my rib cage! This was such a good chapter. I absouloutly love Harry. He always does the noble thing, and I never doubted that he would go back for the Minister's family. Speaking of his family I'm glad they are ok, and Lazarus too! Going to go read the next chapter now. =)

Author Response

Wow! Great chapter! It was action packed and written magnificently. I've never read an actual Book 7 fic, but now that I've started there's no turning back! You've definately caught my attention. =]

Author Response

I thought this was a good chapter, not your best but I'm happy that Amelie opened up to Kyle about everything. Now I really want to know what's going on with Alice.. Update soon !

Author Response

yeah I didn't really like that chapter either... I'll probably go back and edit it later. But it kinda had to be put in. You know, just one of them FILL THIS SPACE things. Thank you for reviewing, though. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. ^_^

Amazing chapter! I really, really liked this one. Loved the interaction between Molly and her brothers, and I loved this line for some reason:  â€˜Think of your boys, Molls,â€™ Gideon implores. â€˜Think of the world theyâ€™ll be forced to live in if we lose this war, if they survive.â€™  You're a fantastic writer! Hope to see more soon! =)

Author Response

Thank you so much for reviewing.

She actually apologized to him! I'm glad they actually had a civil conversation. Do I sense a turning point? =)
I really enjoy reading this story, and just thought I'd let you know that I got your request in my review's offered post, but you were already in my favorites and I had reviewed your first 5 chapters! lol
Moving on to chapter 7..

Author Response

Yeah, lol. I noticed that afterwards, but then it was too late to delete my post. I can get really ditzy sometimes ^_^.
Things are changing yes, but maybe not in the way that you think...
*grins mischieviously*

This was a very sad chapter for poor Ginny, but you still managed to make it cute when they picked baby names at the end. I think I'm going to take Harry's side and hope it's a little baby boy. I've enjoyed reading and reviewing your story! Keep up the good work! =)

Author Response

Wait and see!!!

Ahh just when I thought this was to be a completely feel good story you throw in a serious twist! In the first sentence of this chapter you had, "As soon as the two stepped in the door, Harry owled the hospital, and waiting (impaitenly) for a reply". 'Waiting' should actually be 'waited'. I don't mean to nit pick but you had a few mistakes like that and like I said in my last review you might want to keep an eye out for them =). Well I am going to go move onto the next chapter now and see how Ginny takes the news. Good job.

Author Response

Thanks, I'll change that.

Very cute. It's always good to have a nice, fluffy story, especially when many of the stories on this site revolve around the war. The only thing I suggest is that you just read over this chapter and look out for spelling mistakes because I noticed a few here and there. Good job!

Author Response

Thank you!

I have noticed that you have picked out some fabulous quotes to include with your story. I just thought I'd point out that I liked them. But back to the actual chapter.. I absouloutly love Moody in this chapter! I've always been fond of him, and I think you wrote him splendidly! I also enjoyed the characters of Fabian and Gideon which is quite depressing since you know that in the end they aren't going to come out of the war alive. I'm enjoying this story immensly so far and I am going to add it to my favorites! I hope to see more soon! 10/10

Author Response

Before I even started writing the story, I went through and searched for quotes on bravery and courage and it's just been a lot of luck at how well the quotes fit with the characters. Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far!

Wow, that was beautifully written! The exchange between Dumbledore and McGonagall was absouloutly brilliant. They were both perfectly in character, their actions and dialouge flawless. This story seems like it is going to be very unique, and I don't think you will have any trouble keeping your readers' attention.

Author Response

I hope I don't have any trouble keeping their attention! I was very worried when I first posted it about keeping Dumbledore and McGonagall in character so I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Alright- so on with the review! I thought that Sirius' concern for Hermione in the begining was very cute, and even when it was him that got hurt he was still only worried about her. I can't believe he is blind though, it was quite a twist. A common mistake that I noticed you made a few times in this chapter was the word 'apologise' should really be spelled 'apologize'. Well that's all =)

Author Response

Well, accordering the the UK version of spell check...thats how they spell the word apologize lol... I have my spell check set to UK english to further help me with my briticism's... ;) Thanks for the review! *HUGS*

This chapter was written well. I didn't notice too many grammar and spelling mistakes, just a few that could be easily fixed. My biggest complaint about this chapter is the way Sirius just kissed Hermione out of the blue. Even though it was to shut her up I felt like it was a bit out of character, especially considering the huge age difference. Also, I think Hermione's explosion of rage was slightly over done, but then again she did have a year's worth of feelings bottled up. I hope that I wasn't too harsh because other than those few things I think you did a good job! =)

Author Response

Well, yeah I base her 'explosion' on the year of pent up stress over her feelings...And there should'nt be any grammar/spelling mistakes hardly at all...I have a PI accredited beta... 

Thank you so much for your review...I'm glad you like the fic...*hugs*

Reviews (38 found)

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