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Review:Lululuna says:
Hello! Here for review swap- I read and reviewed the first chapter a little while ago so it was about time to check out the second! :)

James and Mason are so funny, I love the bromance they have going and how James lost his broom (haha!) Mason is a good cook, that was a really great detail. It made me laugh how the toast was burnt too- I mean, who burns toast?!!

I liked the scene with the Potters as well, especially Albus. He just seems like James walks all over him and it was quite funny, especially the bit where James stole his orange juice and then spat it on him. It really made me laugh. :) I quite liked Ginny as well, she seemed quite in canon and very motherly but also a little sassy and stubborn, which is just how I picture her being as a mum to a wild child like James here.

Pippa intrigues me. She seems like she has a very tough and strong exterior, but possibly secrets and things she doesn't want other people to know. I'm curious about why she felt she had to marry Peter even if he was cheating on her and she knew it - perhaps she's pregnant, or he had some secret that he was holding over her head, or they were engaged by their parents or something? Okay, that last one is a little too over the top. :P This is twenty-first century Britain after all. But it seems like there's something she doesn't want Felicity to find out, hmm. You've definitely piqued my curiosity!

I was a little confused about her name- why does she introduce herself as Bea being her nickname when she goes by Pippa, so that would be her nickname? I know some people who go by their middle names, but they would never use their first names except on official documents, and they usually use the middle name primarily because that's what their parents called them as children. One explanation might be if she goes by Beatrix for professional reasons to keep her identity cloaked, but I think Pippa was in her byline so perhaps not. :P Anyway, just a thought, but maybe you're way ahead of me and have some ninja reason for her name, so feel free to ignore this if so! :)

Something I was thinking about while reading the story was that there was a lot of dialogue and not a great deal of description. I'm a little description-obsessed, but I would have loved to see a little more setting of the scene, descriptions of the characters' thoughts and histories, a little longer paragraphs to frame the dialogue and balance it out a little. But that's just a personal preference really, and maybe something to keep in mind for the next chapter. If you were worried about the writing feeling stilted then that might help (though I thought the writing mostly flowed very nicely!) :)

I enjoyed this a lot, it's a really original storyline and you write very compelling characters. Well done! :D

Author's Response: Hi! Thank u! I'm glad u liked it enough to come back!

Thank u! I'm glad u got that! I had a lot of comments saying that they didn't understand that part :/

Thank u! I loved writing Albus! And Ginny! I honestly love her! Writing that scene came so naturally and it's one of my favourite scenes so far :) I'm glad u did like it! :D

Thank u! She's really fun to write :D and for all those guesses, they are very very good and you'll have to see ;) that's great! The number one point of these two chapters is to get the readers curious!

That point may not be expressed well. The thing is she does go by her middle name :) the 'Bea' thing is only for family (so by making her introduce herself as Bea to James, it was meant to be a sign that she feels relatively comfortable). There is a reason no one else is allowed to call her Bea, and that will be revealed later :)

Thank u! That's great CC! I definitely will add some more in! :D Only when I look back does it stick out to me! Thank u so muh! :D

Thank u! I'm glad u liked it! :D thanks for an awesome review swap! :D


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