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Review:MissMdsty says:
I love that challenge! It's just great!

This first chapter was really fun, it had a good pace and you introduced a lot of OCs that I'm curious to see how you incorporate into the story.

That being said, I have to say that at times I had difficulty following who was saying what and where it was happening. I think if you work a bit on your descriptions and the setting of the chapter it will make more sense.

In the paragraph where they find Aiden in the bathroom, I had to read that part a few times to understand what was going on and who was there.

I liked the humor in this story a lot and the way in which you incorporated the Potters and the Weasleys. Looking forward to reading more!


Author's Response: Yay, first review!

Thanks for the advice, I completely agree. I don't have a beta for this at the moment so it's great to have the feedback.

I know what you mean about the bathroom scene. Pace was something I have worked on from previous stories but maybe I got carried away with hurrying things along.

I'm glad you think the humour is ok- I sometimes think no one else will understand my sense of humour or find the same things funny as I do, so thanks!

Thanks for the really helpful feedback!


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