It's me again! I can't believe I only have one more chapter left to read after this and then I have to wait for updates...oh wow.
Characterization: Okay, as always, we'll start here. I feel like I'm always repeating just how much I love your characters...but I'm going to repeat it again. I LOVE your characters. Best OCs I've read in fanfiction ever. Actually...this might be the best-written story I've ever read. Wow! I loved Elena in this chapter (as always). I think she was definitely on par with how I think she would act. And my dear Simon was perfect. I love how nonchalant he was trying to be to get Elena to calm down. And then he sent her out before him to keep her safe! Aww. AND HE HAD BETTER BE ALL RIGHT. I will die if he does. ;] Not really. That's ridiculous. Let's see...Alastor's new here! And I think you definitely captured his character. I barely ever see him in fanfiction, so this was cool.
Descriptions: Ahh, you just have this spectacular style that brings the entire story to life. My heart is always racing and I'm always able to follow what's happening as if I were there. I love that. I think you could add a few facial expressions in there, but other than that, terrifically perfect. :D
Emotions: I think the emotions you express through your writing are beautiful. The only part where I felt it might have benefitted from a bit "more" was when Simon is sending Elena outside to run for help/get to safety. To me, that was a really emotional moment, but I didn't feel too much from the actual characters...
Plot: Well! Drama, drama, drama! Simon had better be okay! The longer this story goes on, though, the more I think that he and Elena are going to die by the end. :[ I loved that Alastor was brought in. Cool! Well done!
Interactions: Loved all the Simon/Elena moments, unsurprisingly. I think you handle them beautifully. Their dynamic is so touching. It's spectacular. So realistic. :D
Style: Gorgeous, as always. You know that. I adore this story. I adore how you write. Every character is unique and beautiful and wonderful. And I love this. Okay, rant done. :D
Terrific job! I'll read more soon. You're doing spectacularly, as always.
Author's Response: Hi!
Wow, I can't believe how much of Vital you've read! You're, simply speaking, awesome :) And when you do review chapter 20, I will maybe be more motivated to update. I've been being a bit lazy about writing for the past few weeks. And I need to start up again.
Thank you so, so much. It's wonderful to hear how much you love my characters. That's such a huge compliment, because for me, characters are something that can make or break a story. Elena and Simon interacting is also very fun to write, because they are both their own characters alone, but when they're together, the whole dynamic of how they both act totally changes. Simon is, obviously, protective, and Elena is more confident, I would say.
For descriptions, I do see your point about adding in facial expressions. While I like writing descriptions, I'm not always the best at balancing different types. I don't want too many because I don't want to compromise the pacing, but I don't want too few. Same thing really goes for emotions as well. But I suppose that's an issue all writers face :)
You've got that right: drama! Wow, that's a very interesting perspective. I promise this doesn't give away anything that happens in the future of this story, but the more I write characters and become attached to them, the harder it is to think about them dying/getting hurt. Even if I know it has to happen. (Seriously I promise, no spoilers about anything in the future: I felt the same way about having Elena's brother Oliver die--I knew it was necessary, but it was hard to have to write about a character going through that).
So, seriously, I don't know how to respond to all this praise -blushes- It's definitely a huge confidence booster to hear that you appreciate a story that I've spent so much time writing. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ♥