Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:academica says:
Hi Branwen! This is prize review #1 for winning my challenge :)

I loved the beginning of this, with Marlene reflecting on a more innocent time when children could play without fear. I also really liked the metaphor of the bad weather and the darkness and how the war was like that, the enemy creeping up on her without warning. My favorite little detail was the line about the cold and wet seeping into a crack in her boot. It reminded me of the way that people sort of fell out as traitors during this time, and how one of your closest friends or family members could turn and stab you in the back.

I think this is a really interesting pairing, and it's refreshing to see Marlene paired with someone besides Sirius or Remus. She and Dorcas and the Longbottoms are supposed to be a bit older than the Marauders and Lily, right? Anyway, I think her vulnerability with Gideon was really touching. The way it made her uncomfortable and awkward demonstrates just how hardened she's become in the climate of war she lives in these days.

The ending here was touching. You had me a little scared with the repetition of the line about how the bad weather would keep the Death Eaters away, and while I think you used it effectively to demonstrate the atmosphere of fear that pervaded this time, I'm pleased to see that Marlene and Gideon enjoyed a happy ending, however temporary.

Excellent, just as I expected! :)


Author's Response: Yeah, I always interpreted Marlene and the Longbottoms as being several years older than the Marauders and Lily - I usually see the Longbottoms being about 5 years older (maybe more), and Marlene as being about 3. I wanted enough of an age difference that they clearly weren't best friends in school, but I didn't want to make her so much older that they would have had no middle ground, especially considering that for all appearances, Lily cared a lot about Marlene.

I also have always really wanted to write a story or two about Molly's brothers - I think that they could be really interesting characters, and I'm very glad you enjoyed my portrayal of Gideon. :)

Thank you so much for your review, and I'm glad that you liked this so much - it's definitely one of the stories I'm most proud of. ♥

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 495
Submit Report: