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Review:lemonpeeps says:
As to answer your questions:

You approched the Remus being a wearwolf very well. You took it seriously and expanded on what JK Rowling said and made this very not cliche.

Maybe put an * inbetween the paragraphs where the scene changes, that will help the flow a little bit. I kind of got confused when I didn't notice there was a bigger gap in between the paragraphs and you started talking about something else.

Your characterizatin well done, although I would like a little bit more on James. You developed Remus very well, Peter is the obvious sidekick, Sirius I can tell is in the making, but James is still in the shadows.

The first chapter was a little long in my opinion but it flowed fairly well so I wasn't too bothered. Your tension at the end of the chapter with Sirius, does make me want to continue. Props for your hard work!

I did notice that you used 'boy' a whole bunch in the beginning paragraphs. Maybe use other pronouns like the others or the trio. Spice it up a little!

Happy Writing
lemonpeeps ox

Author's Response: Thank you Lemonpeeps! I'd actually thought about making some sort of separation b/w the paragraphs as well, I'm going to that next time! The first chapter was def very long, it was my first ever submission, and now I know to split it up makes for easier reading. I will def develop James in the next chapters!

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