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Mission Impossible by ImaPirateArrr

Format: Novella
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 2,585
Status: WIP

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Mild Language

Genres: Humor, General
Characters: Draco, Ginny, Harry, Cho, Dumbledore, Hermione, Neville, Ron, Snape, Fred/George, Seamus, M. McGonagall, Pansy
Pairings:

First Published: 03/24/2005
Last Chapter: 08/19/2005
Last Updated: 08/19/2005

Summary:

Hermione has found a potion to add a whole new week to the year, The trio finds that it the perfect way to get revenge without punishment... but does the potion work? They'll never know until they try. Cue the Music.


Chapter 1: Time Multiplication
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YAY! this isnt ImaPirateArrr by the way! This is her EViL TWiN Allie. So oo OO if you dont like the story, dont take it out on my poor friend... Enjoy my first fic! By the way this is supposed to be humor! so have fun laughing later on... hopefully...

*When I say "Cue the Music" I mean the Mission Impossible theme song

*Mission Impossible: written by Larry Mullen
&
Adam Clayton



Time Multiplication Potion
An un-known potion that has remained unused for a number of centuries. The original inventors were never even sure if it was successful, so this is also a mystery potion. Mystery Potion meaning that its effects are not 100% guaranteed no matter how well this potion is brewed. Be extremely cautious with this potion when taken because actions done within the 7 day span that it is supposed to take effect may or may not be erased from time.
When taken and brewed properly, and when the potion is effective, the results can lead to mass chaos and confusion that will be forgotten in 7 days. In a sense a new week is added to the year and once the 7 days is over, it is erased from the memory of everyone except the drinkers of the potion.

Hermioine finished reading the paragraph and waited for the boys to finish as well. Once they were done Ron looke up at his friends, his eyes wide as Galleons and said "This is amazing! Can you make it Mione?" Hermione looked at the boys "Yes, but the book does say that it may not work, even for the most brilliant of potions masters."But Mione!" Ron whined "You can do it right?" Hermione scanned the list and then looked up at Harry who had been silent the whole time. "Well?" she asked "What do you say?" Ron cheered as Harry looked up at his friends and smiled mischievously

"This would be perfect for revenge"

Cue the Music.

A few days passed and the trio had finished the complicated potion and say in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom waiting for it to cool (as the book said) "Well" Harry said, pulling out a notebook and quill "We wont want to waste time by trying to think of who we want revenge on, so we're gonna have to make a list" Hermione nodded "One person a day sounds just about right. Don't you say?" The boys nodded as Harry wrote out on the paper

Day 1: Snape

Day 2: Draco Malfoy

Day 3:


"Who do we want day 3 guys?" he asked, looking down at the paper "Crabbe and Goyle! They count as one person!" Ron cried happily. Harry nodded and proceeded to write

Day 3: Crabbe and Goyle

"Day 4?" He asked looking up again "Pansy Parkinson" Hermione said from behind the column of shimmery white smoke. Ron laughed giddily; he was beginning to enjoy this

Day 4: Pansy Parkinson

Day 5: Filch and Ms. Norris

Day 6: Trelawney


"Day 7...." Harry thought a moment, his quill positioned above the parchment "THE WHOLE SCHOOL!" Ron was dancing around the small stall absolutely flighty with delight about the whole deal
Day 7: WHOLE SCHOOL (grand prank)

At the top of the paper in big bold letters, Harry wrote MISSION IMPOSSIBLE Hermione handed them each a cup of ticking whitish liquid, it looked a bit like watered down toothpaste.

"Yummy" Ron muttered as he took a big gulp and gagged as he chugged the rest.
"Cheers!" Harry said with a smile, downing his concoction as well

Hermione sighed "Lets hope this works" and she too drank hers down


Chapter 2: Did it Work?
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Yay! chapter two! thank you to the 2 people that reviewed! You guyses are AWESOME! Hokay! on to chapter two! Sorry this took so long

Mission Impossible was a movie
Directed by
Brian De Palma

Writing credits (WGA)
Bruce Geller (television series)
David Koepp (story) ...

OH! and for the better understanding for the viewers
LOBOTOMY is a surgical severance of nerve fibers connecting the frontal lobes to the thalamus for the relief of some mental disorders




Harry awoke to someone jumping on his bed. He sat up and crammed his glasses to his face. "Ron? What do you want?" "HARRY!" Ron cried "it's 6:30!" "Which is precisely why I want to sleep." "You cant sleep all day! We've gotta plan and prank Malfoy!" Harry sat up suddenly "Shit, I almost forgot!" and with that he headed to the shower rather quickly, leaving Ron with the first part of the plans.

"Any ideas?" Ron, Harry, and Hermione were sitting on the common room sofa at 7:15 am on a Friday morning during one of their free periods.

"We could shave his head"

Hermione just gave Ron a weird look and they continued planning

Cue the Music.

It was a cloudy overcast day and in the dungeons of Hogwarts it was almost night time. The trio made their way towards the Slytherin common room dressed in black (... other than their Hogwarts robes) They halted when they heard footsteps nearing them and soon a pug nosed blonde and a gang of giggling girls passed leaving them free to breathe again.

Hermione, since she was the smallest was under the invisibility cloak in front of a tapestry of the pure blood family tree (Why Hogwarts had this is a mystery... even to this day). She looked down at the Marauders' Map and glanced up again "Wolfsbane" the tapestry was pulled upward like a curtain and the turned to signal to the boys.

Ron and Harry were slinking against the wall with their hands held in the shape of a gun. And at Hermione's signal they raced forward and through the hole in the wall. They entered a thankfully empty common room and tiptoed at quickly as possible towards what they hoped was the guys' dorms. They entered and found Malfoy asleep in the center most bed (of course). The boys raced foreward to do their damage as Hermione pulled a modified dung bomb from her robes. She set a charm on it and placed it in his trunk. She then put her ear to the bathroom door to make sure no one was there and entered, tapping the showerheads as she went along.

Meanwhile, the boys had gotten a hold of Malfoy's hair products... Oh the possibilities.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron exited a half hour later and slinked back towards their common room. Once in the light of normal Hogwarts hallways they straightened up and began questioning what each person had done. It was their first prank, so it was a free for all... Lucky Malfoy. They changed into their robes and headed down to the Great Hall for lunch. Before they entered they heard a satisfying BOOM from the direction of the dungeons. Laughing happily they took theirs seats to eat lunch.

"Potions with Slytherin!!!" Ron sang happily as the Gryffindors made their way down to the dungeons, all of them wondering if Ron needed a lobotomy. When they reached their classroom their was no sign of Malfoy anywhere until about the middle of class when the door slammed open. Draco Malfoy was at the door, and to say the least, he looked... amazing?

He was a nice shade of purple- robes and skin, thanks to Hermione's purple dung bomb, but, he had taken a shower, so he didn’t smell as bad. BUT the showers that Hermione had placed a charm on had spewed either really hot water or freezing cold water in short bursts. Malfoy's hair was a beautiful burgundy color thanks to Ron, Harry and muggle hair dye and his hair gel, well.... lets not go there? Hm?

The class burst out laughing and Snape said in a curt voice. "Mr. Malfoy, Please take your seat"

The trio of course couldn’t resist the classic whoopee cushion.

Poor Poor abused Draco.


Chapter 3: Revenge is Sweet
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Hello! sorry for the wwait on chapter three and thank you ALL for the reviews! ANYWAYZ a helpful reader pointed out that Snape was on the list first and Draco was second... so switch em around in your head and everythin will work out fine!

*I do not own Fruit Lo0ps nor do I own Toucan Sam both are owned by Kelloggs




"Revenge is Sweet"

Do these words sound familiar Professor Snape? Because they should.... you used them 3 years ago when you stuck a wand at the throat of Harry Potter's godfather... revenge is sweet.

Cue the Music.

The afternoon after Draco Day was dedicated to setting up a prank for the beloved Prof. Snape.

"It must have something to do with his greasy hair! And large nose, and strange twitchy gait, and evil smile, and his habit of.... this should be good." Ron broke of smiling happily to himself as he and Harry planned during History of Magic. Hermione, of course, was taking notes. Well, then we have to get it all ready tonight" "yah!" so the two boys planned and Hermione kept taking notes.

At dinner that night the trio was excited. They had EVERYTHiNG planned out.

"It's really amazing how brilliant you two are when not in class" Hermione commented as she read over their plan later that night. She dodged a playful punch from Ron and found the suit of armor which stood guard over Snape's room. "Dragon Breath" she whispered and the armor clanked noiselessly to the side. This was going to be SO good! Harry made his way towards the kitchens with a smile on his face.

The next morning dawned bright and early as did the trio they had potions again and Ron was once again dancing around in circles. At breakfast many students ate their breakfasts unaware of the plot that was about to come into play.

At 7:15 when most of the student body was eating breakfast the great oak doors slammed shut and everyone turned to gape. What the bloody hell was happening? Suddenly messily scrawled words appeared to be written on the door by an invisible hand "WE NOW PRESENT A NEW ITEM TO THE HOGWARTS BREAKFAST MENU" instantly boxes of fruit loops appeared on the table, but instead of toucan Sam being on the boxes, a picture of Professor Severus Snape was... with Toucan Sam's nose and body.... it fit him well. There was an immediate reaction amongst every person in the great hall.... I, as the narrator, will leave that to your imagination.

Next was owl post and a bunch of owls soared in, as well as a bunch of toucans which once again sent the students into fits of hysterical laughter.

But WAIT! There's more

Potions started on a sour note... for Snape that is. He threw the door to the classroom open and instead of striding in past the open door, he strode in and the door came flying back, hitting him in the face. He threw it open once again and once again his attempt to be intimidating got him a bruised face, or so it seemed. The students, amidst their laughter could hear him cursing on the other side of the door suddenly BOOM the door flew off its hinges and hit the opposite wall, in strode a very upset potions master with a colorful nose.

Hermione, with all her brains had enchanted the door to put paint on his face when it hit him.

It hit him twice.

Can you imagine the results?

Later that night while professor Snape was on his way to a faculty meeting a man in the corridor stopped him (Ron with aging potion, a wig, and a few other differences) "Excuse me sir" Professor Snape turned to look at the strange man in the hall way, "May I help you?" he asked in clipped tones "Yes, I was wondering if you could" Snape looked at the man expectantly and he continued

"we are having an oil crisis in the U.S. do you think we could wring some out of your hair...

...donations are appreciated"


Chapter 4: Early Humans
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AYAH! Sorry about the freakishly long delay... it was innapropriate of me as an author to leave my readers for such a long amount of time without any warning.

I had soooooo much stuff to do this summer and I had no time to update

sorry once again but this WILL be finished by the end of september.... hopefully

happy reading





For the prank on Crabbe and Goyle- the two gorillas- all they needed was help from Fred and George. Help came immediately- in the form of the actual Fred and George. "Brilliant" Harry whispered when the twins showed up on the outskirts of the Forbidden forest in the dark of night with a bag of their inventions.

Cue the music.

Food. That was the main ingredient for this prank. This was so simple it was sad.

As Ron and Harry sketched up some plans, Hermione was already thinking about the Pansy prank. The night before, the boys wanted to go to the kitchens right away but Hermione made them stay to do their homework. At around 9pm and after and hour and a half of grumbling, the 3 young Gryffindors were on their way to the kitchens under the cover of night...

and the invisibility cloak.

Harry stepped forward and tickled the pair. It began to squirm and became a green doorknob seconds later. The houselves immediately surrounded the trio and bombarded them with pampering

"Uhhh, we just need to see the Slytherin table"
"oh yes, follow Dobby Harry Potter sir"

They followed the small house elf to the table at the farthest end of the room and pulled out their bag of food....

This was gonna be good

At dinner that night they three Gryffindors made sure to get a good seat to watch the show

When Crabbbe, Goyle, and Malfoy entered the great hall, Ron could barley stop shaking with excitement. But, no matter how excited he was, he was able to get down 5 helpings of turkey. Crabbe was the first to reach out for a turkey leg. He bit it and instantly was engulfed by a cloud of glittering smoke. When he re-emerged he had the body of a bald 50 year old male... complete with a beer belly and body odor.

Goyle... who wasn’t any smarter, took a sip, more like a gulp, of pumpkin juice. Instantly every spoon within 5 feet of him flew up into the air and began to dive bomb the lad

Dessert

Crabbe's future self had disappeared and was replaced by a tall skinny blonde with ugly gold highlights and fake blue eyes, he... [she?] was also wearing an orange jumpsuit

Those damn apple fritter morphers

Goyle, who had stupidly swatted at the spoons now had a swarm of custard creams dive bombing him, he looked like a canary

Damn those canary creams

Once the show was ''over'' the two gorillas got up and made their way to the door. Once they passed the Gryffindor table, Hermione magically magnified her voice and boomed out in a creepy singsong voice
"Not the brightest crayons in the box now are we lads?
But we can change that
Now."

The room went black and their were a few screams, Harry and Ron aimed their spells at the two terrified Slytherins and when the lights turned back on they were still glued to the spot with fright, but they were both neon colored [Goyle was neon green and Crabbe was neon orange]

They bolted out the door

Poor kids

But there were still 3 days left in that potion and there was no time to relax. For planning must be attended to


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