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The Golden Trio Reads Fanfiction by swirling_vortex

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 814

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Genres: Humor, Fluff

First Published: 11/30/2004
Last Chapter: 11/30/2004
Last Updated: 12/06/2004

What happens when Harry, Ron, and Hermione stumble upon A pointless one-shot fic, that's what. Note: even though the warning says "Contains slash (same sex pairing)" there is no ACTUAL slash, just a really, REALLY vague reference. YAAY!! THE SEQUEL IS UP!! It is called "Defeating Voldie."

Chapter 1: The Golden Trio Reads Fanfiction
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This is my one-shot fic. It is completely pointless, done at the time I should be doing my math homework.
To read my other fics, click on swirling_vortex. Right now I am also working on “Taking Care of Baby Harry,” which so far is coming along well.


A/N: Because this is a one-shot, pointless, done-when-I-should-be-doing-my-math-homework fic, I will skip the necessary setting description by saying:

Assuming that you have assumed that Harry and Ron went over to Hermione’s house to surf the web, and assuming that you have assumed it without assuming anything else, I shall begin.

I assume that you read the mandatory assumption above ^ and so I have assumed that you have assumed what you should assume.

What you should assume is that Harry and Ron went over to Hermione’s to surf the web.

Therefore, I assume that you have assumed that Harry and Ron went over to Hermione’s to surf the web.

I have assumed that you have assumed what I have assumed you did assume.

~*The Golden Trio Reads Fanfiction*~

“Hey guys look what I found!” Hermione said excitedly.
Ron and Harry peered over Hermione’s shoulder to look at her computer screen.
“Whoa,” Harry said. “That’s my name!”
It was. Hermione had, just for fun, Googled Harry. And she had found…ta-da!!
(a/n: hey, try that sometime. Googling yourself, I mean. See what you get. =P)
“Nice, mate,” Ron said, grinning. Hermione looked at the categories on the right side of the page.
“Hold up,” Ron said suddenly. “ROMANCE?”
“Hmm…” Hermione clicked on it.
“Whoa look at those pairs at the top!” Harry said, mesmerized.
“Me and Draco Malfoy? Oh my god, what happened?” Hermione cried.
“Hey, who said anything about Ginny and that little scumbag?” Ron yelled, ready to punch in Hermione’s computer.
“Wait, look!” Harry interrupted. “Me and Cho? Me and Ginny? Me and Hermione?” Hermione blushed. Harry read on. “Me and…LUNA?!?!”
Ron gagged and Hermione winced. Harry looked as if he was going to be sick.
“Hey, look, there’s story titles down there,” Ron pointed. Hermione clicked on the first one, ‘Magical Love.’ (A/N: I made that up. Sorry if someone really did write that. Same for the following fake fanfics.)
Hermione leaned in to peer at the small text. Suddenly she turned red. Ron noticed it and tried to look. Hermione attempted to block him but Harry helped Ron push her aside.
Ron’s eyes jumped to a random line of text. His eyes bugged out.
“…Before she could break away, Ron started kissing Hermione and—“
“Aaaahhhhh!! Bloody HELL!!” Ron fell backwards onto the carpet, while Hermione covered her still-red face.
“Stop laughing, Harry!” she squealed, having caught a glimpse of Harry, smirking.
“Ha! Look, mate!! Let’s read a you-Luna story, shall we?” Ron went to the Harry/Luna category and clicked on the first story. Harry read a few lines and covered his face. Ron gleefully read aloud.
“’Yes, Luna, I do love you,’ Harry said. ‘But I don’t know…right now Hermione is pregnant with our baby—‘” Hermione gasped, her face turning red yet again. Ron continued.
“’But Harry!’ she murmured, laying her head on his chest, ‘What about…all the fun we had last night? That was a dream come true for me, Harry! You can’t leave me!’” Ron started snickering.
“’Luna, I can’t—‘”
“Stop it, Ron!” Hermione couldn’t take it anymore. “Let’s just read a miscellaneous one, okay?” she said hastily.
“Oh, look! There’s one called ‘Love Between the Learning’!” she said, and before anyone could object, she clicked on it. She read some text and started clicking her tongue.
“That is SO disrespectful,” she sniffed. Ron leaned closer to read.
“Whoa!” he said. “Professor Lupin and McGonagall having an affair?” He started laughing hysterically. Hermione continued her tongue-clicking, until Harry couldn’t take it anymore.
“Hey, what’s this?” he asked quickly, pointing to a huge banner with his and Malfoy’s faces on it. Hermione clicked it for him. Harry’s eyes grew progressively larger as he read. “Umm…” he tried to go to another story but Ron pushed in, and his eyes started getting bigger, too.
“Er…you and Malfoy start…WHOA!!” Ron stared at the screen. Harry sighed.
“Let’s read…er…a Humor story, ok?” he said.

If you are not going to review this one, then please review for “Taking Care of Baby Harry,” please!! If anyone wants me to write a sequel to this, tell me, but it’s so pathetic you probably don’t!