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Scars by knota

Format: Novel
Chapters: 14
Word Count: 59,281

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Contains profanity, Mild violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Romance
Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Pomfrey, Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew
Pairings: James/Lily

First Published: 09/08/2020
Last Chapter: 11/02/2020
Last Updated: 12/07/2020


Alex Watson was kind, independent and thrustworthy Gryffindor, she was in the same year as the Marauders. But she was not like other girls, she perfectly knew how handsome was Sirius Black, but she chose to resist his charms and help other girls when their hearts were broken by infamous heartbreaker Sirius Black.


Little did she knew that Sirius suddenly was interested in her, just because he had heard some wild rumours about her from other boys, for example, how mysterious she is, how she treats them and how wild she is in bed. Alex's charisma made her special in Sirius's eyes.


Is love possible between a heartbreaker and a girl who tries to live peaceful life and not get hurt?

Chapter 1: Unexpected
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Sirius was sitting in the Hogwarts Express and looking through the window, outside on the platform 9 ¾ was standing a girl, who was casually pressing against a lamp post, her arms were in her pockets. She looked over the crowd, looked like she was not expecting someone, but in that case she wouldn’t been standing on the platform, she would have already been on the train. The girls name was Alex Watson, she was a Gryffindor the same as Sirius Black.


They both was in the same year, but Sirius knew about Alex as much as the next person. He knew that she was independent, joyful and trustworthy girl, but on the other hand she was also a one big mystery to everyone, especially to boys. Sirius has heard wild rumours about Alex from other boys about how she treats them and how wild she is in bed. But he thought that Alex possessed quite amount of charisma and that made her special in his eyes.


Even now she was just standing, but positive energy was radiating from her. With her calm honey brown eyes she looked in the distance like she truly was not expecting anyone or anything. She was beautiful. Maybe not the most beautiful girl in the school, but definitely beautiful. Alex had very unique hair colour – dark brown hair with lighter brown highlights. Looked like it was her natural hair colour, but Sirius wasn’t sure, because this combination was so unnatural.


“Hey, Prongs!” Sirius called to James.


“Yes?” indifferently answered James.


“Does Watson ever had a boyfriend?” seriously asked Sirius.


“Well… Now that you ask me, I can’t remember,” thoughtfully said James. “Want her for yourself?” with a grin asked James.


“How did you guessed?” sarcastically asked Sirius, but in his sarcasm was some part of truth.


“How could I forget that you are completely unpredictable?” James laughed.


“I think that she could be spicy catch,” thoughtfully said Sirius who was looking outside the window and studying Alex.


James looked outside the window and in a very dreamful voice said: “She is an angel! She looks, thinks and speaks like an angel!”


“Prongs, are you alright? Were your obsession with Evans go?”


“You idiot! I am talking about Lily!” James was offended.


Sirius also looked once again outside the window and saw that Lily Evans just had appeared on the platform. She went straight to Alex, they were best friends, and they hugged and then stepped on the train.


“If you continue like this than this carriage will not need window washing,” Sirius was smirking. James was looking at Lily with his forehead pressed to the glass and with his mouth wide open.


“Over the summer she has become more gorgeous, did you notice?” dreamy James asked Sirius.


“If you say so,” Sirius responded lazily. At that moment Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew came in the carriage.


“Hey, guys!” Remus shouted. “What’s up?”


“Prongs almost drowned in his own saliva looking at Evans,” simply stated Sirius.


“Doesn’t surprise me,” Remus laughed.


It was 11 o’clock and train began its journey to Hogwarts. Remus went to prefect carriage. Remaining Marauders talked about their summer holiday and tried to come up with some cool trick to start the new school year.


After some time Marauders heard weird noises coming from the somewhere near, sounded like someone was fighting. But they were here, who had courage to get into the trouble without asking them to join? Suddenly Sirius heard glass breaking and a loud thud. It sounded like someone has just fallen to the ground.


“You pureblood scum, how dare you touch me! I’m not surprised that your brain is below your belt! You think so highly of yourself that you are sure that you can get any girl you like. Haven’t you ever thought that flobberworm is more handsome than you are?” Sirius heard Alex shouting in the corridor.


He poked his head out the door, James and Peter did the same. He was very surprised when he saw his own brother lying on the floor. Carpet was soaked with blood and there was some glass all around.


“What’s happening?” Sirius asked completely stepping out in corridor. He looked at Alex and his brother with suspicion.


“Nothing that I can’t handle,” Alex said with coldness in her voice.


Students who came out of their carriages to check what was going on now was returning back with surprised and shocked looks on their faces. Nobody had ever seen Alex like this. She looked calm, but her eyes looked dangerous, her voice was full of threats.


“I haven’t done with you, you mudblood bitch!” Regulus spat and got up on his feet to leave.


Alex and Marauders was left standing in the corridor. They didn’t say a word. Sirius looked at Alex, who looked pissed. Just a moment ago he thought of her as so joyful. Lily and Remus hurried down towards them, they too looked worried and a little bit confused.


“What happened?” Lily asked all business.


“Black tried to harass me, see he thought that he could force me to have sex with him,” calmly said Alex, it was like magic – she was all calm now.


“What?!” exclaimed Lily. “And you dare to stand here?” now she turned to Sirius, “Do you have any shame? Get out of here before I hex you into next century!” Oh, Evans. Sirius sometimes got why James liked her so much.


“Lily, not…” Alex tried to calm down her.


“And you are protecting him? He tried to rape you!” Lily was outraged.


“Lily, stop! It was Regulus Black not Sirius,” her voice was still calm, it looked like she even enjoyed this misunderstanding.


“Ah,” Lily blushed quite crimson.


“I forgive you Evans,” arrogantly said Sirius. Lily glanced at him quite angrily and then looked at Alex.


“Are you okay?” softly asked Lily.


“Yeah, I’m fine. I broke his nose. He suffered more than I did,” she said with a smile.


“You broke his nose?” James exclaimed completely not believing Alex’s words.


“Yes,” mumbled Alex. “Let’s go inside the carriage,” suggested Alex, and so they went.


“Looked cool,” James couldn’t contain his excitement about the broken nose, Alex just laughed very quietly. Sirius couldn’t agree more – that was amazing.


Many hours later there was silence in the carriage because almost everyone was asleep. Lily and Remus went back to their prefect carriage, but Marauders stayed with Alex. They wanted to make sure that she was safe. Although Sirius knew that Remus is friends with Alex, and it would be unfair if they just would left Alex alone after all that.


Alex head was pressed on the glass and she was sleeping. Sirius was sitting in front of her and watcher her. Being so close to her he noticed that Alex's arms was covered in small scars. There was one big scar that started just above elbow and continued up her arm disappearing under her T-shirt sleeve. He was very surprised, he did not believe that Alex does this to herself. And he couldn’t imagine someone else doing that to her.


Scars. They didn’t suit her. Alex was so joyful and energetic, she was a good person, source of happiness to anyone. Then why? He looked at her neck, there was two unhealed and very deep scars. He couldn’t see them before because her hair was covering them, but now he saw them very clearly. Breath caught in his lungs.


Sirius looked outside the window thinking about what he saw. Alex was very strong person, he knew that. It was impossible that she was cutting herself. No, not possible. But the scars…


Alex slowly woke up and smiled so sincerely, in the smile was not a trace of pain or sorrow. It was full of positivity, nothing bad. Sirius smiled back.


“I’ll go change,” she said and left.


“Guys!” Sirius tried to wake everyone up.


“What?” mumbled James.


“Time to get changed, we are almost there.”


“If you say so,” James was happy hearing the news.


They changed into their school robes and when the train stopped they got out. Remus joined their friends on the platform.


“Home sweet home,” James’s voice was full of mischief.


Marauders started to laugh and went to seek out an empty carriage.



Beginning of the year feast was the same as always, first years was sorted into houses, Dumbledore made his speech and then the most delicious feast ever. Alex was done with her dinner and now she waited for desserts. She looked at the ceiling and smiled. Couple of students looked at her funny but she didn’t mind.


James approached her after the dinner. “I want to congratulate you again on breaking Regulus’s nose,” James said proudly. They both looked at the Slytherin table, his nose was already healed, but Alex heard that he told Madame Pomfrey that he tripped and broke his nose by himself.


“Thank you, James,” Alex smiled.


“I don’t want to offend you, but you don’t look like someone who could break someone’s nose,” said James with caution looking up and down at Alex.


“I’m not offended” Alex was amused. She knew very well that she did not look strong, she was quite short and not that muscular at all.


“Can we go?” Lily asked from behind Alex.


“Sure,” Alex turned and they walked out of the Great Hall. They both were shocked that James did not even try to ask Lily out on the date. They casually talked about upcoming school year, when Alex felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw Remus.


“Hi! Lily, can I borrow her for a moment?” Remus asked with pleading eyes.


“Do I have a choice?” Lily smiled and left without even wanting to hear the answer.


“I just wanted to ask you how’s your wild life going?” Remus asked with a light smirk on his lips.


“Great, I still keep fighting,” Alex answered, “And you?”


“Couldn’t be better,” Remus said truthfully.


“That’s good,” Alex sighed and then hugged Remus. They together went to the common room talking about their most exciting summer events.


“What was that?” Lily was very curious when Alex entered the bedroom.


“What was what?” Alex was completely oblivious about Lily’s question.


“Well, you and Remus?” Lily said.


“Me and Remus?” Alex raised her eyebrow and looked at Lily.


“If you'll keep answering to my questions with other questions, this is not going to be a conversation,” Lily sounded a little bit pissed.


“Lils, you know it very well that Remus is my friend and nothing more. Yes, he is nice, smart and even handsome, but there is nothing between us. And there never will be, and there is a reason for it,” Alex calmly explained while she was looking for her pajamas.


Lily didn’t ask anything else. After couple of minutes when they were ready to go to sleep a knock on the door interrupted them. All the girls in the bedroom looked very surprised. Lily opened the door. There stood very pretty girl with dark hair and blue eyes which was full of tears.


“Can… can I speak… to Alex, please?” she was sobbing.


Lily turned to Alex and said very quietly: “For you Alex.”


Alex went to the door and looked at the girl. “Come, let’s go talk to the common room.” Then she closed the door, all the girls in the bedroom knew about what that conversation will be.


They sat on the couch in front of the fire. Girl’s name was Kelly, she was a fifth year Gryffindor. She cried her eyes out without managing to tell a word, but Alex knew that it all was Sirius Black’s fault.


“I hope I’m not bothering you?” Kelly suddenly asked.


“No, you are not bothering me. It is obvious that you need some shoulder to cry on. I have no idea why you chose me but it doesn’t matter,” Alex said very calmly. She really did not know why other girls trusted her, because it was very often that she needed to hear out sobbing girls who’s hearts was broken by no one else than Sirius.


“If you don’t want to talk about it…” Alex really did not want to stress out Kelly even more than necessary.


“Sirius…” whispered Kelly.


“I know what you are going to say next, he dumped you right?”


“Yes, he used me and then dumped me. We were in the fourth floor broom closet, everything was nice. I was so happy that he asked me for a walk after the dinner, then he pushed me into closet and started kissing. Bet then he pushed me away and looked at me with a surprise on his face, and that was not the good kind of expression. And then he left without saying a word.”


“Don’t worry, everything is going to be fine, please don’t cry. You don’t have to shed all those tears. You are going to find much better guy for yourself,” Alex voice was sweet.


“But it felt like he was disgusted with me, like I wasn’t what he was expecting, it was so weird,” a little bit louder sobbed Kelly.


“It is not your fault that he cannot see how charming you are. He thinks that girls are just things he can use to get pleasure for himself. He is interested only in the body. He doesn’t care if the girl is smart, interesting, funny, smartass of naïve. He’s only interested in looks, and that is what interests him the most now. Maybe someday there will be a girl who will take him by surprise and he will fall in love with personality not just body. But that will happen only when he will grow up. Kelly, don’t regret anything, everything will be okay. I will walk you to your room, after some sleep you will feel better.”


After that Alex got up and walked the girl to her room, they said their goodbyes and Alex watched how she disappeared behind the door. Sleep wasn’t on the menu this evening for Alex, and that wasn’t any surprise. Insomnia was haunting Alex for a couple of years now. Usually she slept only couple of hours in night. She liked to read and wonder around the school at nights. And that’s why her feet carried her out of the common room this night.



Sirius felt that James was watching him, it was James’s “I know that something’s wrong” look, and Sirius could not stand that look, because that meant that Sirius was not capable to hide something from James.


“Maybe you want to tell me something?” after a long pause of silence James asked the question.


“What?” if he played dumb there is possibility that he would not have to answer James’s question.


“Padfoot, I haven’t seen you so confused like ever. Somethings wrong and I want to know what.”


“I can’t stop thinking about her,” finally Sirius caved in. He knew that James would not just drop it, despite the fact that Sirius did not wanted to talk about it.


“I know the feeling,” James smiled, “but this kind of things usually don’t happen to you. Who is she?”


“Alex Watson,” Sirius simply answered. James whistled very loudly, but Remus finally took his eyes off the book and very seriously looked at Sirius. Silence fell in the room for a moment, but then Sirius ended it.


“She is so different. Alex is the first girl which I like because of her personality, and that is so weird. I usually do not see girls like her. And it is scary that almost nobody knows anything about her. She is one big mystery and I am scared of that,” Sirius said thoughtfully.


“You and scared?” James asked in disbelieve.


“You do not even know her, you do not even know what she is like,” Remus said at the same time when James asked his question.


“Yes,” Sirius claimed, and then he stormed out of the boy’s bedroom leaving his friends very confused. He just did not wanted to talk to them tonight.


Sirius walked through the school hallways not noticing where his feet was carrying him. He did not understand why so suddenly he couldn’t stop thinking about Alex. He really did not wanted to believe that it is only because she over the summer got all the curves in all the right places.


He realized that he was standing in front of the entrance to the kitchens, he tickled the pear and entered. It was late, but still an elf hurried to him and asked what he wanted. Sirius chose hot chocolate. He sat by the one of the tables and sipped his chocolate full of determination to clear up his thoughts and feelings, because nothing was as it used to be and he didn’t like it at all.


After a while he felt that he is not alone, he was sure he heard a sound by the doors. There was someone there.


“Who’s there?” he asked without a hesitation.


Alex came out of the shadows and sat across from him. “Feeling sleepless?” she asked calmly and smiled a very nice smile.


“You could say so,” Sirius did not know what to say. “And you?”


“You could say so,” she smirked. All her attention was on the burning candle which floated above the table, she didn’t even looked at Sirius.


But Sirius looked at Alex. Genuine smile splatted across his face. How ironic – when he wants to be alone and sort through his thoughts he is forced to face his problem. And, oh, yeah, her body was really transformed in this summer, he didn’t even realize that he has started to smirk.


“Found anything interesting to look at?” suddenly she turned to Sirius. Now it was clear that she was watching him all the time.


“No, nothing,” he looked a little bit ashamed, but he was still smiling. Alex did not believe his words.


“Interesting,” Alex said quietly, she once again wasn’t looking at Sirius.


“What?” he started to feel a little bit nervous, while Alex stretched out her arms and did not hurry to answer him.


“You are not with a girl tonight because you usually are, especially in the evenings,” Alex said simply. Light from the candle played in her eyes, now she looked wild.


He was very surprised about what Alex just said. He didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. Suddenly he was lost for words.


“Oh, no, you have already dumped her, right?” Alex leaned over the table and looked straight into Sirius’s grey eyes.


“Why do you say that?” Sirius thought that nobody knew about Kelly.


“Because I know that,” Alex said seriously, “Black, most of the girls whose hearts you have broken come to me and tell me what an awful monster you are. And Kelly wasn’t an exception.”


Sirius didn’t know that Alex was the one to whom everyone turned for comfort. He felt guilty. He looked into her eyes, he found disbelief and misunderstanding in them.


In that moment all the rumours about Alex rushed through his mind. He was sure that she never had a boyfriend, but still she must have had some suitors. Sirius realized that he wanted to kiss Alex right know, but Kelly's situation changed everything.


Suddenly Alex stood up, straightened her pajamas and said sadly: “Well good night then.” She smiled at him very shortly but sadly and then she was gone.


Minute after Alex left Sirius exited the kitchens, he wanted to find Alex. He hoped that she went back to common room. Turning on the fourth floor corridor he spotted her, he picked up a pace and caught up to her. Sirius put a hand on her shoulder.


“Yes?” she smiled very sweetly turning to him. That smile was so out of place because she just confessed to him that she was the psychologist of all the dumped girls.


“I just forgot to say good night.”


“Now you have said it.”


Sirius’s arm was still on her shoulder. He looked in her beautiful honey brown eyes. Sirius stepped closer, he felt that Alex is a little bit nervous. Before he could change his mind and realize that he is going to regret it, he leaned in and kissed Alex.


Touch between their lips was soft and long, Sirius was ready to break the kiss but then he felt that Alex wanted to continue. He was surprised when Alex ran her hands over his chests. He licked her lips and the kiss became more passionate and intense. He pulled her closer, his hands slowly disappeared under her T-shirt. Her skin was so soft.


He grabbed Alex, she moaned a little bit but did not broke the kiss. Sirius didn’t wanted to let her go and tried to pull her even closer to his body. She moaned again and pulled back breaking all that was between them.


“It would be better if I go,” she whispered and rushed away. Sirius looked at his hand and found that his fingers was covered in blood. While they were kissing he thought that he scraped something on her back. Was it possible that the scars which he saw on the train weren’t the only ones on her body?


A/N: Hello! I just wanted to say that English is not my first language and this is my first fan fiction in English, so I apologize for mistakes or odd sentences. I will try my best to learn from my mistakes.


This chapter first was written almost ten years ago, so bare with me because it gets more interesting and more like I wanted this fic to go in next chapters.


And also - I do not own anything in Harry Potter world, it all belongs to Rowling.

Chapter 2: Insomnia
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Completely confused about what just happened Alex quickly returned to Gryffindor tower to hide in her bedroom. She had no idea what just happened and why she returned Sirius’s kiss. It was stupid she ought to know better. But at least now she knew why every girl falls to Black’s feet like complete idiot.


Only entering the bedroom she felt safe. Alex got in bed and stared at crimson bed ceilings. She tried to understand why she acted like that. Yes, Sirius was good looking and he wasn’t stupid, but all that sleeping around with girls made him very unattractive. She was completely aware that she had a crush on him like the next person, who had some good pair of eyes in their head. But also she was completely aware that becoming one of many in Sirius’s list was no good at all. That’s why she had pushed all her childish feelings and crushes deep down a long time ago.


She tried as hard as she could to understand why tonight she kissed him back. Alex couldn’t come to a logical explanation. Was it really just some stupid teenager’s hormones? Could it be that? After couple excruciating hours she couldn’t think of anything better and finally fell asleep.


As usual Alex woke up first of all the girls in the bedroom. She slowly got ready for the day, there was no rush, and there was plenty of time until breakfast.


“Came back late again?” she heard Lily’s question. She was still in bed and watched Alex, who was already ready to go down to the Great Hall.


“Yeah, couldn’t sleep,” Alex said simply. “You know me,” Lily was already used to Alex’s absence at nights, because she knew about her insomnia. That’s why she didn’t probe any further.


“Don’t wait for me, I’ll see you down at breakfast,” Lily got out of the bed and started to look for her robes. Alex just smiled and headed out of the room.


It was early, barely half of the students was in the Great Hall. Alex slowly sipped her coffee and ate some sandwiches. All the food in Hogwarts was so good and tasty, but probably it was because anyone could find something that tickled their taste buds the right way.


“Good morning,” Sirius’s cheerful greeting caught Alex off guard. She looked around and realized that Sirius was alone without the rest of Marauders (Remus once had told her about their nicknames, knowing that she could keep a secret). Sirius sat across of Alex and grabbed a plate full of pancakes.


“Morning,” Alex answered him very sweetly (too sweetly), she smiled and returned to her breakfast without even trying to keep up the conversation. Sirius was very disappointed.


Sirius looked at Alex for a couple of minutes, she didn’t even looked at him, and she just smiled to herself and looked across the Hall. Finally he broke the silence and spoke: “Can you please explain to me what happened last night?”


“Was I mistaken for thinking that you are not complete fool?” Alex looked straight into Sirius’s eyes, in which she could not find any imperfection. They were beautiful, and she cursed herself for thinking that. “Because I thought that you know what a kiss is. Sorry Black, but I thought much higher of you, because now you are looking at me like I just told you that grass is in some other colour not green.”


Sirius stopped chewing pancakes and tried to figure out what just happened. There once again was silence between them, looked like Alex is already thinking about something else like what she said was nothing special. Sirius tried to breath in and almost choked on pancakes.


“It takes two to tango, so why did you kissed me back?” after quick chewing session Sirius asked.


“Apparently I wanted to kiss you Sirius Black,” she said it so simply looking somewhere over his shoulder. This started to irritate Sirius. She just stated the fact, just like that.


Alex noticed that Marauders entered the Great Hall, she knew that they would sit with Sirius, but she didn’t wanted to speak to them now. Alex stood up hoping that Lily wouldn’t be mad at her for not waiting and prepared to leave.


“Have a good day!” she smiled her simple but warm smile and left.


While she was walking away she herd behind her back very confused Sirius’s “Aha”, which mixed with the rest of Marauders “Good morning!”


School year has started and Alex was very happy about that, because she liked learning very much. She energized herself with new information and knowledge, and that was one of the reasons why she loved Hogwarts so much.


Professors wasn’t kind to seventh years and after just one day homework piled up in the speed of light. That’s why after dinner Alex went to library and started studying, because she liked to do everything as soon as possible.


“You owe me some explanation, miss!” Remus said very quietly but strictly. He sat across from her and started to empty his bag.


“Csst,” Alex put her index finger to her lips trying to tell Remus that he is acting too loudly for library.


Remus just kept looking at Alex, ignoring her trying to shut him up. Alex just kept doing her homework without looking at Remus. After a while Remus spoke again, but this time even quieter: “I’m waiting for explanation!”


It was clear from Remus’s determination that Black has told everything about the kiss. She was surprised just a little, she didn’t expect nothing much from him. Alex completely understood Remus, because she wasn’t the girl who jumped everybody’s bones left and right. And she knew that there is no escape from this conversation.


“What do you want to know?” she asked quietly looking straight into his eyes.


“Why is Sirius so suddenly obsessed with you and why did you kissed him?” there was disbelief and surprise in his voice, because both of these things did not go well together with Alex’s personality.


“I have no idea why Black is obsessed with me, and apparently I just wanted to kiss him back, that’s it. I can’t figure it out myself why I did that,” she looked around to check if there is no one listening on their conversation, because that’s what she needed the least – someone gossiping about her kissing Sirius.


“I’m sorry, but – what?!” Remus asked very harshly. Alex shot a deadly stare at him, trying to communicate to Remus that he is acting too loudly.


“Can you please calm down? I know it was a mistake. I’m not planning on jumping Black’s bones every time I see him,” Alex answered calmly, “if you don’t mind, I would like to return to my potions essay.” Alex tried to end this conversation because she was afraid that Remus will notice that she is not that sure about what she just said.


And Remus didn’t ask anything, they just did their homework in silence until the closing time.


In evenings Alex participated in girl’s bedtime ritual despite the fact that she couldn’t fell asleep for many hours afterwards. But she liked to do that, she liked to get ready for bed and talk about some gossip. This ritual was one of the rare things that made her feel that someday everything could be fine in her life.


There was a silence in the room for a while now, everybody was asleep except Alex. She listened to the sounds of the room – someone turned to other side, there was some swoosh of the blankets, someone mumbled in their sleep. She looked at the clock, it was almost 1 o’clock in the night. Alex assumed that at this late hour common room should be empty and she could read The Daily Prophet left by someone down there.


She sneaked out of the room and checked that common room was really empty. Alex sat down on the sofa in front of the fire. On the ground there was some issues of Prophets, she picked one up and started to read. After a while she realized that tonight might be the night when she falls asleep sooner than usual, because Alex wasn’t even through the Prophet when her lids started to feel heavy.


She put the paper on her lap and stretched, she leaned back over the arm rest of the sofa and felt how her hair touched the floor. These little things in life that made her happy, she started smiling.


“Why are you not in bed so late, Watson?” she almost fell to the ground when she heard the voice. Wait, was there some humour in the question?


She quickly turned around to see who was speaking, and there he was – Sirius Black, he just came in through the portrait hole and was coming straight to her. He was smiling the most charming smile (at least he thought that) that he could manage. Without a word he picked up Alex’s legs, sat down and placed them on his lap. The movement was so simple and fluid like it was something that he did every day like, for example, breathing.


“What’s wrong with you? Why do you never sleep?” Sirius asked, leaning against sofa and looking at Alex.


“I’m insomniac for many years now, but I don’t think this is very interesting subject to talk about now. May I ask why you are not in bed?” and that was true, she did not think that her insomnia was something interesting. She looked at the fire, she actually did not wanted to talk to Sirius right now. She should have go upstairs and get some well-deserved sleep.


“I don’t know didn’t seem such a boring subject to me,” he laughed, “well, I was in the kitchens, I was… starving.” Pause that Sirius made was suspicious, Alex looked at him. Shit, shit, shit! He wasn’t looking at her face, but at her breasts.


But of course tonight of all nights she needed to put on a bit too small T-shirt and she wasn’t wearing a bra. Shirt hugged her torso perfectly revealing almost everything. Alex tried to find The Daily Prophet to cover herself, but of course it had fallen down when Sirius moved her legs.


Sirius looked at her face and raised an eyebrow, he looked truly surprised, for a very long time they looked in each other’s eyes. And then Alex’s brain completely left this situation, she leaned forward and touched Sirius’s lips with hers.


At the same moment Sirius put his hands around her waist and pulled her closer. She was almost sitting in his lap, when she felt his hands on her body. Sirius moved his hand from her waist and found his way to her neck, he gently moved her head and tried to make this kiss deeper. He succeeded.


Alex put her hand in his hair and started to play with it while other her hand rested on his chests. This kiss was completely different from previous one which had happened many days earlier, it was more passionate and demanding from both of them, it was more intimate than before.


They came up for an air, Sirius unlocked their lips, but he did not let her go. Alex felt his heart beating in his chests, seemed like it was racing like stupid. She looked in his eyes, fire from the fireplace reflected in Sirius’s grey eyes making him look wild. He gently brushed Alex’s cheek and sighed.


“What are you doing woman?! You are going to be the death of me,” he said quietly, but there was no anger in his voice. He touched her neck, apparently he felt the scars and looked at them. Alex cursed herself for forgetting to heal them.


“Isn’t that what you usually want – some girl jumping your bones? Like most of the girls have already done that,” she actually tried to distract Sirius from her scars, but also wanted to hear an answer to this particulate question.


Sirius looked in her eyes and stopped touching her scars. Alex let the breath out not even knowing that she was holding one. “Watson, that is the last thing I want – you jumping my bones,” he said very seriously.


She closed her eyes and started to smile. Sirius was right, she shouldn’t do that. Alex even doesn’t wanted to be next one in his never-ending parade of girls. She was surprised that Sirius was here the reasonable one.


“Why did you started to smile?” his voice was very confused. She opened her eyes and managed to get out of Sirius embrace. They now just sat next to each other on the couch.


“You are right, I’m not going to jump your bones,” she stroked his cheek with her fingers. “Sorry, it is not going to happen again,” and she stood up, kissed his forehead and walked away leaving Sirius on the couch watching as she went.



It was the day after the full moon and Remus was lying in the hospital bed while outside the window new day announced itself with bright sunlight. Last night was hard even with the help of James and Sirius, and now Remus felt that in his body.


Sleep, that’s what he needed now the most and maybe some potion for pain from Madame Pomfrey, but he could manage without it. Remus was not sure if Marauders would visit him in the lunch break if he will not be out of here by then.


He felt his eyelids starting to get more heavier and heavier, when he fall to sleep he managed to hear Madame Pomfrey speak, it sounded like “dreamless sleep potion”, “twenty four hours”, “you don’t sleep otherwise”, “you can meet your friends tomorrow”. Remus did not know if it was dream or reality because he was asleep just seconds later.


“Moony, wake up! We brought you food!” James yelled completely oblivious that he is in the Hospital Wing, where you should act quietly.


“Prongs, you know that they feed me here too,” Remus replied prompting himself in upright position, he took the package and looked what they have brought.


“Stop it, we are just worried about your health,” Sirius winked so strikingly that it was possible that all school now knew about Remus’s secret.


“Don’t worry we decided to skip history of magic to spend some time with you,” James plopped in the chair and put his feet up on Remus’s bed. “All you need you can read in the books, so no point going to today’s lesson.”


History of Magic, so it meant that it was Wednesday. Remus shook his head, it meant that he had dreamed about the dreamless sleep potion and everything Madame Pomfrey said.


“Let’s play some exploding snap!” Peter suggested already taking cards out of his bag. And so they spent some time playing the game, eating food and laughing too loud.


“Out!” shouted Madame Pomfrey running towards them, it was clear as day if they didn’t comply it would be them lying in these hospital beds. “How dare you! Mister Lupin needs rest not your yelling! Out! Get out!” she had already pinched Peter by the ear and was dragging him out. “You two – out!” she shouted over her shoulder to James and Sirius.


“Sorry, see you later,” James managed to say while leaving the Hospital Wing.


“I will let you out before dinner, by that time everything must be fine with you,” Madame Pomfrey was now puffing his pillows after the dramatic shouting match. “I will give you something for pain and you will be as good as new,” she hurried to her room after finishing with Remus’s pillows.


As promised Madame Pomfrey gave him something for pain and let him go to the Great Hall for dinner. Remus dressed quickly and was about to leave, but then he turned around and went to the last bed of the Hospital Wing.


He sneaked around the blinds which was covering the bed and looked at Alex. She looked grave, her face was all scratched, and arm was in bandages. Remus was sure that the damage was worse than it seemed. He realized that it was Alex to whom Madame Pomfrey gave dreamless sleep potion, because she did not wake up when Remus squeezed her arm.


He stood by her bed for a while still holding her arm. Her breath was slow but stable, she’s going to be okay. Remus leaned and kissed her forehead, and then left for dinner with his friends at the Great Hall.



September was fast coming to an end, there was maybe a week left till October. And all this time Sirius couldn’t stop thinking about Alex, because he was determined to find out something more about her, and her words “Sorry, it is not going to happen again” kept haunting him at all the hours in the day.


All this time he was secretively watching Alex. He realized very quickly that she was the most brilliant creature he had met in his life. Alex was nice and polite, always talked to everyone who started the conversation with her. And sometimes she was angry and even scary, but that wasn’t because she didn’t have a reason. But still she was amazing.


Sirius realized that almost everyone wanted to be near Alex just for a little while. She radiated peace and comfort, and who didn’t want to be near the person which can make you feel good even just for a couple of minutes. But on the other hand Sirius noticed that Alex likes to be alone, and she likes to be alone very often, most of the time she sat alone at the Great Hall, in the common room or anywhere else in this school.


Now she was doing her homework alone in the common room, Rodger Boot went to her and started some conversation, it looked like he tried to flirt with her. What the hell does he want?! Sirius surprised himself with these kind of thoughts. Get away from her! She doesn’t need you! He thought very angrily.


“Sirius what are you planning to do this evening?” all his angry thoughts was interrupted by Megan, to whom Sirius liked to spend some very boring evenings.


“Go away!” he groaned not even looking at her. He did not took his eyes off of Alex and that bastard Boot. He heard Megan leaving mumbling something under her nose.


Remus looked up from his book and looked at the direction Sirius was looking. Then he looked at James who also had noticed that something was wrong.


“Padfoot, dear,” James said in a very sweet and mocking voice, “if you are planning to continue to pretend that you are reading DADA book but not looking at Watson, then please at least turn the book right side up. Otherwise you are holding it wrong for the past half an hour.”


It got Sirius’s attention, now he was ready to explode, he shut the book close with such a force that over the common room fell grave silence, then he threw book on the floor and rushed upstairs to their bedroom.


Morons, he thought shutting the doors behind him. He crushed into his bed, crossed his arms and looked straight into the bed ceilings. Sirius did not understand why Alex rejected him, he couldn’t find any explanation to that. Why the only girl he likes, didn’t even looks at him? Other girls still tried to jump his bones once in a while, so he was not the problem.


Sirius in his life got rejected only a couple times by a girl, and he never knew what to do in situations like that. Sirius signed, he thought that he had fooled his friends, that they did not notice him watching Alex. To fool Marauders was a very hard task to do, and apparently he did not succeed.


James, Remus and Peter showed up in the room later that evening. Sirius pretended that he doesn’t notice them, but he was sure that they will not go to bed without saying a word.


“Why don’t you just speak to her?” James asked stripping down his uniform and putting on some pyjamas.


“Because she doesn’t like me,” oh, what a bunch of lies, but know it didn’t matter.


“Padfoot it is very hard to believe your words, because Alex is not that type of girl who doesn’t like someone without a reason, well, except Slytherins but who even likes them,” Remus said deep in his thoughts.


“Okay, maybe it is not true, but she made very clear that she doesn’t want to do anything with me,” Sirius felt anger and sadness building up inside him again.


“Just grow a pair and talk to her, if you like her so much,” James said pulling a blanket over his head.


Sirius turned to his side and did not speak anymore, because he was not ready to lie to his friends anymore. Yeah, maybe talking to Alex wasn’t the dumbest idea after all.


Sirius heard that everybody was asleep, there was also no sounds coming from the common room. He took the Marauders Map and started to look for Alex. He hoped that tonight she is out of her bed because she couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t in the common room, bedroom or the kitchens. He searched the castle, and finally he found her in the Astronomy Tower. There she was.


Without thinking Sirius grabbed James’s Invisibility Cloak and left the boy’s bedroom, he knew that it was forbidden to be at the Tower outside the lessons, but he didn’t care. On the way to the Astronomy tower Sirius wondered if Alex had ever been caught outside the bed in the middle of the night.


He reached the top of the tower and saw Alex leaning against the wall. It was so windy up there, he did not understand how Alex wasn’t freezing, because all she had on was just some pyjamas, sneakers and a coat.


Her arms was crossed across her chests and she was looking in the distance. Sirius very slowly and quietly moved closer to her, he wanted to see her face, but he did not dare to move close enough so that she could feel his presence. They both stood on both sides of the stairway leaning against the wall, but only one of them was visible.


Sirius looked at her face, she looked sad, no, not sad. Alex looked like all the sadness and depression of the world was on her shoulders, like she was the one who must to suffer it all. In the night her eyes looked much darker than in the daylight, they wasn’t honey brown with little fires playing in them from the fireplace, because these Alex’s eyes Sirius remembered the best. Her eyes was sad and dark, nothing like he expected to see this evening.


Only then he realized that she was crying, tears fell silently across her cheeks disappearing behind the collar of the coat. It took all of his strength not to take off the Invisibility Cloak and hug her. He wanted to hold her in his arms an tell her that everything’s going to be okay, that he will revenge everyone who had done harm to her.


It was impossible that Boot was the reason for her tears, no way. His hands made fists and he was ready to go and punch that bastard senseless or hex him into next century. Alex moved and he forgot about his revenge plans.


She walked to the railings, Sirius’s heart skipped a beat, but Alex just took out from her pocket a letter and a wand, without words she flew letter up in the air and made it burn. Then she waited for it to burn down and air to carry ashes away, Alex wiped her tears away and left the tower. Sirius stood there for a moment and then returned to the Gryffindor Tower.


Next morning Sirius woke up from the noise that rest of Marauders was making, that wasn’t fair, it was Saturday and Saturdays were meant for sleeping.


“Pads! Wake up! Let’s go eat, I’m starving,” James yelled and threw a pillow to Sirius.


“Fine,” Sirius sounded grumpy, but when he got out of bed a big smile was plastered on his face.


Entering the Great Hall Sirius automatically started to look for those chocolate brown hairs with caramel highlights, but they were nowhere to be found.


“Oi, I think I’m going back to bed…” James rubbed his stomach and pushed away his empty plate. “Or… I will go to library to study, we have a lot of homework,” in a completely different tone finished James, he followed Lily with his eyes while she walked past them. Sirius could bet everything he had, that just now while James was telling them about sleeping, Lily was telling that she will go to library. Sirius smiled, Prongs was unbelievable.


“See you later!” James waved at the Marauders and very briskly left the Great hall.


“I don’t want to admit it, but Prongs is right, we have a lot of homework,” Remus laughed. “But I will go to the common room to study, do not want to see Prongs making a fool of himself in the library. Are you coming?” Remus still laughed.


“Not now, maybe later,” Sirius said shortly already eating his second breakfast. “Tsee youh lather,” with a mouth full of pancakes Sirius tried to speak.


“How charming,” Remus felt disgusted watching a piece of pancake fall out of Sirius’s mouth. “Right, see you later at the common room. Come Wormtail let’s go.”


Eaten breakfast Sirius went outside. It was very warm and sunny Saturday, it was possible that this was the last decent day in this autumn. He started to walk towards the lake, thinking that he could lay beneath some tree and soak in the sun before going back inside. But then he saw Alex, she was sitting on the bench by the lake. And without thinking he went straight to her.


A/N: Two chapters in two days, this is going to be it for this week. I still write every day, but the translation is taking a lot longer then I anticipated, but I will try to post new chapter next week. Thank You for reading!

Chapter 3: Hogsmeade
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“Emm… Hi,” so well-known Sirius’s voice brought Alex back to reality from her own thoughts. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the biggest heartbreaker in Hogwarts, who had chosen to bother her and not be with some other girl.


“Hi,” Alex simply said and smiled kindly.


“Can I join you?” Sirius asked a little shyly looking at the ground and not Alex.


“Of course,” she shifted on the bench making room for Sirius. He sat down but didn’t say anything.


“Black I don’t believe that you are here just to sit on this bench with me,” Alex smirked, she looked at him, and was surprised to see that Sirius was once again a little bit confused.


“Well,” he tried to say something but then paused, “you know that you can call me by the name, you don’t have to call be by may last name all the time.” She didn’t believe that this was the reason Sirius is here, but didn’t protest.


“Hmm, I’ll think about that,” Alex pretended to really consider that. “When I decide you will be the first to know,” she laughed very quietly and Sirius smiled weak but amused smile. “But I still want to know why you are here?”


“I…” he couldn’t manage to find the words, “well…”


“I haven’t seen you like this since fifth year when you lot pranked Slytherins at the dinner and couldn’t manage to come up quickly with some explanation to McGonagall when she yelled at you like all hell broke loose,” she laughed.


“You remember that?” Sirius looked at Alex with genuine surprise in his face.


“Yeah, believe me,” she continued to laugh, “I will never forget that beautifully pink tone of their food and Slytherin faces too.”


“Yeah, that was a good one,” Sirius smiled remembering that, “we got detention for a whole month for that.”


Alex looked away still smiling. She looked at the lake, in which sunlight played with little waves, silhouettes from forest was visible in the lake’s water. Slowly leafs started to turn in autumn colours. Autumn was approaching, it was Alex’s favourite season.


“I wanted to talk to you for a while now,” Sirius disturbed Alex’s thoughts about autumn leafs.


“I know,” she simply stated still looking at the lake, “you have been watching me this past month.”


She didn’t have to look at him to feel how surprised his face now looked, Alex have noticed his weird behavior a long time ago, but she didn’t knew why he was watching her all the time.


“Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked kindly still looking at tree reflections in the water which made them look like painting.


“I don’t understand you,” he finally spoke, “can you explain what happened at the beginning of September and why it stopped?”


“Seriously?” Alex finally looked at Sirius now it was her turn to be surprised. Sirius just nodded his head waiting for an answer. “I don’t understand what there is not clear for you?”


“You didn’t mind me giving you some attention, but then it stopped – why?” Alex was even more surprised now than couple of seconds ago.


“Because you told me yourself that you didn’t want me jumping your bones,” she answered trying to figure out if she was missing something, “and I did just that.”


“Oh, you must have misunderstood me,” Sirius said very quietly, “I didn’t wanted you “jumping my bones” as you call it because you are not just a random girl, I like you, I wanted to know you…” he stopped talking when he noticed Alex’s face change.


“You like me?!” she almost laughed ironically. “Well that’s something,” she looked away. Alex did not know what to say, looked like Sirius was waiting for her to say something more.


“I’m sorry,” Alex almost whispered looking at her hands in her lap.


“For what?” Sirius didn’t understand.


“I have a crush on you since the fourth year,” her lip corners twitched a little bit almost making a smirk.


“And you have to be sorry for that?” Sirius ran his hand through his hair.


“We cannot hook up, be together or whatever,” her smile was sad, “that’s what I have to be sorry for.” She looked in his beautiful grey eyes.


“You are smart, talented and brave,” she said quietly, “and also very handsome, but you are a heartbreaker through and through, and that is what I really don’t like in you,” he just looked at her soaking up all her words. “I cannot afford for my heart to be broken right now. I have too many problems already. And also you are not a relationship material because you like using girls too much,” sad small smile played on her lips.


“You are who you are and I don’t want to change you, I’m not that selfish. I am not going to ask something from you that you are not ready for,” she gently brushed her fingers against Sirius’s cheek. “If something changes and you want to be in a real relationship not just sleep with me, let me now. Or if I decide that I want my heart to be broken, I’ll find you,” she leaned in and kissed Sirius’s forehead, then she stood up and left once again leaving Sirius watching her leave.


Alex couldn’t believe that she just told that to Sirius, even now when she was sitting on her bed everything still felt unbelievable. She felt her breath – heavy and fast. Something in all this situation felt so suspicious. Lily came in the room looking angry as hell.


“What happened? I thought you planned to study all day in library?” Alex was curious.


“Yeah, I thought so too, but then Potter showed up and bugged me all the time,” she threw her bag on the bed and sat down still pissed. “I thought that he grew up a little bit over the summer, well at least Head Boy and Girl meetings went fine, but no he just needed to show up at the library and bug me.” Lily looked angry and disappointed at the same time.


Alex had her own suspicions that Lily actually fancy James, but his childishness was the reason she never said yes to his attempts to ask her out on the date.


“Guys will be guys right?” Alex muttered not knowing what to say, because she actually wanted to name all the reasons why Lily should be together with James.


“Don’t even start,” Lily rolled her eyes. “All day is ruined now.”


Alex was amused how simply Lily’s day could be ruined – just by messing with her plans. But all people are different so she did not judge to harshly.


“Maybe tomorrow we can study together?” Alex asked hopefully, “if weather is going to this nice as today, we could do it by the lake. I think that we need to use every nice day that we can get before it starts to rain all the time.” Lily looked a little bit better, she even smiled a little.


“Okay,” she agreed. “Hey, looks like your morning wasn’t that good either,” Lily said really studying Alex.


“Oh, yeah…” she slowly answered. “I told Black all my thoughts about him and the fact that I fancy him,” she said guilty biting her lip.


Lily shot a hand over her mouth in surprise. “NO!” she gasped.


“Well, of course I told him that there is no chance for him and me, because I’m not planning on being just one of many in his used girls little black book.”


“Bloody hell,” Lily gasped again, “How did he reacted?”


“Looked like he was shocked, but all and all didn’t looked like I have shattered all his hopes and dreams,” she shrugged, “because there are bunch of girls in Hogwarts who are ready to make all his desires to come true.”


“I think this is for the best – someone who could say no to him,” Lily cheerfully said. Alex smiled hoping that this will end like that – her saying no to Sirius Black.



Lily and Alex sat on the blanket by the lake and studied, Remus went straight to them when he exited the castle and plopped on the blanket beside them.


“Hello girls!” he shouted. “Do you mind me joining you?” he laughed, because he was already here and now asked silly and rhetorical questions.


“It’s Sunday and you are not with Marauders to plan your next grand prank? Is this world ending?” Alex put her hand over her chests and pretended to be shocked. Lily and Remus started laughing.


“Well, it was so tiring to be around so… um, childish people,” Remus unwillingly admitted. Alex looked at Remus and raised her eyebrow, but he was already reading his magic history book.


“And you are saying that you are not childish?” Lily asked.


“I would like to think that I am the least childish of them all,” he smirked.


“Then why you are not making them grow up?” Lily was not ready to stop interrogating Remus.


“Because believe it or not but they are not listening to me,” Remus signed, “even though I am also one of the smartest ones.” Everybody started to laugh.


“Actually we were studying before you interrupted us,” Alex said judgingly looking at Remus.


“I will not bother you,” Remus said, “I want to study a little bit too.” And he returned to his book, Lily continued to write her charms essay and Alex flipped through her books.


Most of the afternoon they studied, sometimes Remus asked for some other books to read, because he wasn’t planning on spending so much time here down by the lake.


Dinner time was approaching and Remus got bored. He put down his book and looked at Alex. She tried to master some kind of spell but she tried to do that wordlessly. Remus was amazed by Alex's skills because she managed the spell just after a couple tries. Remus knew that she was very capable witch.


He kept looking at Alex and smiled. Remus had never met anyone like Alex, probably because there was no one like Alex. He thought that he was the only one who knew about her the most, but he wasn’t sure, maybe Lily knew as much.


Remus looked at Lily who now was filling in her astronomy maps. James is going to be the luckiest guy when Lily agrees to go to a date with him. Lily was so sweet and kind, everybody knew that. But sometimes James’s obsession with her was ridiculous, but Remus was sure that their love will be epic. And he was sure that they will end up together, there was no doubt in that.


“Girls, can we please go to dinner?” Remus pleaded with puppy dog eyes, which made them all laugh.


“Fine,” Alex answered, “I’m starting to feel hungry too.”


They gathered their stuff, Remus helped girls with blanket and they went inside. They were already eating when Marauders came in the Great Hall. Remus had completely forgotten why he did not want to spend the day with them, but seeing Sirius everything returned to his memory.


Sirius, James and Peter sat across them. Remus studied Sirius and realized that his mood has not gone better. All morning Sirius had been moody and grumpy, and nobody understood why. It was complicated by the fact that Sirius refused to talk about that. Now he ate his potatoes and time to time glanced very angrily at Alex. Right, so it was connected with Alex, that wasn’t good.


Then Remus looked at James, who acted as if he was annoyed by something. There could be two reasons for that, first, Sirius’s grumpy attitude today, and second, detention which he got yesterday because James managed to make a fuss at library. Only explanation for detention was that James again tried to impress Lily. Obviously he did not succeed. Poor James, such a clever guy but still a moron.


They ate dinner in silence, which was unbelievable. Remus started to think and realized that a lot of time in this term Marauders spent in silence. That wasn’t normal, something was wrong, but what has changed?


After dinner they went to the bedroom. Remus was the last one to enter, he slammed the door shut, and everyone jumped and looked at him. Remus looked at Sirius and spoke very gravely and angrily.


“What the hell is wrong with you? You act like a complete arsehole.”


Everybody looked at each other, because Remus usually wasn’t the one who started fights or provocations.


“Nothing,” said Sirius.


“Nothing?! Nothing my ass! You are grumpy for a long time now. What is happening?”


“Nothing, leave me alone,” Sirius snapped back. Now he looked pissed, but Remus did not planned on stopping. He knew that this needs to be sorted out.


“No, I will not leave you alone, tell me what’s wrong.”


“She ditched me,” Sirius yelled. “Happy? Now leave me alone!”


“So this is the reason you act so terribly? Just get over it, not the first, not the last girl in your life.”


“This time it’s different,” Sirius was really angry and Remus saw that in his face.


“Why?” Remus wanted to provoke Sirius even more.


“Because I really like her.”


“Oh, you poor soul, Alex ditched you, boo-hoo. There are thousands of girls in this world.”


“Don’t you dare…”


“And what are you – famous womanizer Sirius Black – going to do? Are you going to hide in the corner and lick your wounds while your heart stops to bleed?”


“Moony!” it was James who tried to calm down Remus.


“And what reason did she gave you when she ditched you?” Remus was in his zone and did not listen to anyone.


“She doesn’t like me because I just use girls for my pleasure.”


“And how is she wrong?”


“This time it’s different.”


“Because this time you have found the girl who you especially want to use?”


“Shut up!” Sirius yelled.


This time Remus did as told. He did not wanted to admit, but Remus really wanted to keep Sirius away from Alex. It was such a terrible thing to think about his best friend but Remus couldn’t help himself. Alex deserved something better than Sirius, because he really couldn’t be in relationship even if his life depended on that.


“You fight like old married couple,” James spoke.


“SHUT UP!” this time both Sirius and Remus yelled at James.


Remus noticed that after all this yelling in the following days mood between then got a lot lighter. Sirius wasn’t in such a bad mood or he hid it very well. Remus wasn’t sure, but hoped for the best.



It was the first visit to Hogsmeade this year. Hogsmeade was one of the Alex’s favourite places on Earth, that’s why every visit she waited with impatience. And it was already autumn – her favourite season. Forest around Hogwarts was dressed in colourful autumn leafs and air smelled like earth and coldness. Alex sat on her bed and smiled like silly, she woke up in not typical for her great mood.


“Lils!” she shouted and threw a pillow on still asleep Lily. “Today is Hogsmeade!”


Lily just turned to other side and mumbled something that sounded a lot like “Ten more minutes”. Alex jumped off the bed and went to bathroom to take a shower. She really felt good today, Alex decided to use this amazing mood and spoil herself a little bit.


She stepped out of the shower and started to think what she could do today. Alex returned to bedroom and saw that all the girls was up now and she cheerfully shouted: “Amazing day isn’t it?” Everyone looked at her like she was crazy, Alex just smiled. “Better not to throw it away!” She winked at Lily.


“Someone’s in a good mood,” Lily laughed.


“Exactly, and that’s why this day is going to be amazing,” she smiled her big and warm smile and turned to closet to figure out what to wear.


While she was going through all the clothes she have, Alex couldn’t not think about her aunt Radella who bought every piece of clothing she had. Alex called her aunt, but actually Radella was her grandfather’s sister and also only person in her family who liked her. Especially after all that had happened.


Aunt Radella had taught Alex a lot of useful things about femininity and life in general. Aunt was the most beautiful woman Alex knew, and it didn’t matter that she was already very old. Alex’s aunt also was the most positive and kindest of all human beings.


Alex wasn’t girly girl because she liked to wear torn jeans and T-shirts, but sometimes she liked to pamper herself up. And in days like these aunt’s advices came in handy.


Aunt Radella was very rich because some time ago she was very well-known and recognized fashion designer in France. And now all of Alex’s clothes was made only from the best materials. She couldn’t decide what to wear, so she turned away from the closet and decided to do her hair and make-up.


Alex looked at her tired face, big smile was still plastered on her lips. She took her wand and used very small and innocent spell to make her blue circles beneath her eyes look smaller. Completely she did not erase them because as aunt Radella says – every imperfection makes you perfect.


Alex took her make-up bag and applied a small amount of cosmetics, just a tad of foundation, blush and mascara. Her make-up was simple but it suited her features very well. Then she grabbed Sleekeazy’s hair potion and started to apply it to her hair, today she wanted to have pin straight hair instead of her usually a bit wavy ones.


Finally she had to decide what to wear, almost all of her clothes was black because black was her favourite colour and it never goes out of style. Finally she took out of closet high wasted black pants, black knee high boots, dark green silk blouse and black cashmere cardigan and got dressed.


She stepped in front of the mirror and looked at herself. Everything that was on her made her figure more pronounced. She thanked aunt Radella because today she also felt beautiful, and that was a rare feeling for Alex.


“Wow,” Lily gasped exiting bathroom, “I did not knew you have a date today.”


“I don’t” Alex smirked. “Is it that unbelievable that a girl can look good without a reason?”


“No, and it shouldn’t be,” Lily agreed.


When Lily was ready they went to breakfast. Alex sat at the table and made herself a plate to eat when Marauders appeared in the Great Hall. She continued to listen to Lily’s monologue about this year’s syllabus and did not even noticed Marauders approaching to them.


“Good mor-ning,” Remus tone changed mid-sentence and that caught Alex’s attention. She looked up and smiled her most charming smile, she met Remus’s truly surprised eyes. He just stood there and stared at her, even his mouth was a little ajar.


James stopped next to Remus, James nervously ruffled his hair and greeted them: “Good morning,” but his eyes were fixated on Lily. “Hi, Lily,” he said softly, looked like Lily couldn’t decide if she wanted to answer him.


Sirius who was looking in a completely different direction crushed into them and almost lost his balance. “Ow, why are you standing here like trees in the forest?” he asked very angrily, but then he looked at Alex and almost fell for real.


“Good morning guys,” Alex said still smiling her most charming smile. She understood that she really looked good, because she wasn’t expecting such a reaction from them. Sirius shamelessly stared at her blouse’s neckline, true it was maybe a little bit too deep but it wasn’t vulgar.


“I hope this day for you will be as brilliant as this morning is for me,” she kindly said, smiled at them one last time and returned to her breakfast. She heard Remus urging the rest of them to go and sit down, they did so, only Sirius couple of times glanced over his shoulder before they sat.


Lily escorted them with her eyes, then she turned to Alex and asked once again: “There really is nothing between you and Remus?” this happened once in a while, when Lily asked something like this, and Alex’s answer was always the same.


“No, just friends as usual,” she smiled. “But turns out that girl cannot look good without everyone looking at her like a piece of meat,” she laughed and continued to eat her breakfast.


After breakfast they went back to tower to get coats and leave for Hogsmeade. Alex and Lily ran into Marauders by the portrait hole, girls was trying to leave but they were returning from breakfast. Remus grabbed Alex by the elbow and almost whispering said to her: “You do realize that all of the Great Hall looked at your ass when you were leaving,” Remus smirked, “even girls.”


“Great,” she said simply, “but now my ass is covered by the coat, I’m not going to make any problems for anyone!” she stuck her tongue out and left. Climbing out of the portrait hole she heard Sirius trying and failing not to laugh.


Day turned out very wonderfully. Alex and Lily walked through Hogsmeade and did a little shopping, and now they walked to The Three Broomsticks to have some butterbeer. They hands were filled with bags which contained sweets from Honeydukes, some knick-knacks from Zonko’s Joke shop, some clothes and jewelry from local boutiques and some books from bookstore.


They entered The Three Broomsticks and went to the bar to order drinks. “I will go and look for a table,” Lily announced and disappeared in crowd. Alex paid for the drinks and started to look for Lily, finally she noticed her in the corner by the window.


The Three Broomsticks was her favourite place in whole Hogsmeade. Alex sat down and looked over the crowd, there was students from school, local people, and some teachers. Two tables over sat the Marauders, but Sirius was nowhere to be found.


And then she saw him, on the other side of the pub he was eating Megan’s face off. They acted like they were the only ones in here. Alex felt surprised just for a moment, she hoped that this evening it wouldn’t be Megan who knocked on her door. But no, this wasn’t the first time when Sirius uses Megan, and he had dumped her a couple of times, bet never Megan tried to find some support in Alex for that like most of the girls did. Without even knowing Alex chuckled.


“Why are you laughing?” Lily asked and curiously looked over the pub to spot Sirius and Megan.


“Sirius and Megan,” Alex said simply. “That poor girl is living many years in constant heartbreak just to be Sirius’s toy for couple of minutes.”


“Maybe they are together,” Lily suggested.


“Doubt it,” Alex shook her head. “I don’t believe that Sirius can be together with someone.”


“But you fancy him?” Lily knew all about Alex and Sirius but still approached this subject with caution.


“Just as the next girl, but I want to be happy not to be used,” Alex was frank. “He is good looking I can’t deny it but I’m not sure it is worth it.”


“But if you were the one to change infamous womanizer Sirius Black?” Lily asked half-jokingly.


“Bullocks,” Alex started to laugh, “there is no point in changing someone if they don’t want to do that. It always ends too badly.”


“But if he wants to change but doesn’t even know it?” Lily suggested.


“I am ready to bet on ten galleons that Sirius Black will not find the girl who will be the reason for him wanting to change until the end of this school year,” Alex started to feel amused.


“Fine, let’s bet,” Lily stretched out her arm.


“Fine,” Alex took it and shook it.


They stayed at The Three Broomsticks until the time they needed to leave to get back in time for dinner. Alex and Lily left the pub and started to walk back to school.


“Hey, Watson,” Alex heard not pleasant voice behind her back. She turned and saw a bunch of Slytherins with Regulus Black in the front. “I haven’t revenged my broken nose yet,” he shouted. Alex was so done with him holding grudges.


“Piss off!” she yelled. Today was too good a day for fight. Girls continued to walk towards school, but after a moment Alex felt that someone pulled her hair and she fell on her back. Over her was standing some Slytherin girl which name Alex couldn’t remember.


“Nobody allowed you to leave,” she hissed, Alex tried to get up on her feet.


“Come let’s go Lily,” Alex tried to get away from here.


“You are not going anywhere,” Regulus approached Alex, “before I can do something to you about you breaking my nose.”


“I will go and you will leave me alone,” Alex said way too calmly for this situation. She turned to leave, but Regulus grabbed her by the arm, without thinking Alex turned and pushed him, he hit the ground hard.


Alex was furious. This was so wonderful day, but no, some asshole needs to spoil it. Why it did always happened? She looked at Slytherins, waiting for someone to attack, looked like nothing’s going to happen nevertheless some of them was holding wands in their hands.


Alex looked down at Regulus, he tried to get up and get his wand out of the robes.


“Expelliarmus,” she heard someone shout from the behind. Alex turned and saw Marauders, James was the one with the wand.


“It isn’t polite to pick on others Regulus,” James said in very calm voice.


“You mean like this?” And Alex felt that Regulus pushed her, she again hit the ground. She heard that curses were flying over her head and Lily helped her to stand up.


Eventually she got up and felt someone putting a hand on her shoulder, instinctively she raised her elbow with all her strength and felt it collide with something, there was a lout crack. She turned and there he was – Sirius was holding his nose, blood seeped through his fingers.


“Bloody hell Watson, I just wanted to check if you are alright,” he shouted. Alex was in shock, she did not expected that it was Sirius behind her.


“I am so sorry,” she pleaded, “I thought you were some Slytherin,” she stepped closer to Sirius begging with her eyes for forgiveness.


Still curses flew left and right, she heard Lily’s voice of reason when she tried to calm down the fight. It sounded like nobody was listening to her.


And the she felt it – punch to her back, not your typical punch. Alex knew immediately that some random curse had hit her. It reverberated through her body, everything went cloudy, she couldn’t see clearly. Alex thought that somebody was shouting her name, bet she was unconscious before her body hit the ground once again today.

Chapter 4: The Hospital Wing
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“Alex!” he shouted watching as her body fell to the ground. Sirius wasn’t able to catch her and once again she laid on the ground. He kneeled down and turned Alex on her back, she was unconscious. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, but she didn’t woke up. Sirius started to worry.


Everything around him seemed so far away, he just saw Alex, but it felt like everybody had stopped fighting. Sirius felt how people now were surrounding him and Alex.


“What happened?” it was Remus’s voice he heard like coming from the far.


“I don’t know, someone hit her with a curse,” Sirius shook Alex one more time but nothing happened.


“We have to get her to the Hospital Wing,” Lily suggested. Before anyone could say a word Sirius picked up Alex in his arms and started to walk towards Hogwarts.


Sirius looked at Alex who was lying in her arms. She looked so peaceful, but that wasn’t a good sign. He needed to get her to Madame Pomfrey as soon as possible, Sirius heard that others were following them, but he didn’t hear a word they were saying.


Sirius was worried sick about her. He did not know why Slytherins hated Alex so much, especially his own brother, but he couldn’t find out because they were not on speaking terms. Sirius once again glanced at Alex, didn’t looked like she would gain consciousness any time soon.


They reached the castle, carrying Alex in his arms Sirius rushed into the Hospital Wing and laid Alex down in the nearest bed. Lily went to get Madame Pomfrey. Sirius brushed away some hair strands from Alex’s face, he did that very gently to not harm her any more that necessary.


Madame Pomfrey ran to Alex and started to question everybody about what had happened. Sirius heard that Lily was explaining, but only thing that he wanted to hear was if Alex would be okay. Couple of minutes Madame Pomfrey busied herself around Alex, she waved her wand and murmured some spells, and then she turned to everyone.


“Everything is going to be fine with Miss Watson, now she just needs to rest,” she smiled very weakly.


“Mister Black, what had happened to your face?” Madame Pomfrey shrieked when she for the first time looked at Sirius.


“Emm…” Sirius looked puzzled, but then he remembered that his nose was broken. He had completely forgotten about that. “Nothing,” he said quietly.


Madame Pomfrey shook her head but didn’t say anything, she just waved her wand and Sirius’s nose reset itself and blood vanished from his face.


“Fine, you lot now go to dinner,” she started to guide everyone outside of the Hospital Wing, “you can come and see your friend tomorrow,” she added before closing doors behind their backs.


“Let’s go to dinner?” James asked, he sounded not like himself, apparently afternoon events had made a mark on him too.


“Guess so,” said Peter. Everyone started slowly to walk towards the Great Hall, even Lily walked with them. That surprised everyone.


“You know what, I am not that hungry actually,” Sirius broke the silence. “See you guys in the common room.” He turned and left them in the middle of the corridor.


When he reached the common room Sirius crashed in one of the empty armchairs in front of the fire. He didn’t lie, he really wasn’t that hungry, besides if later he wants to eat he could get something from kitchens.


Common room was empty because everyone was at the dinner. Sirius looked at the fire and thought about Alex. She really looked amazing today, Remus was right – all of the Great Hall looked at her when she left. But was it really just the looks that made Sirius notice Alex?


He wasn’t that sure about that. While he carried her back to castle Sirius realized that he didn’t want for Alex to be hurt anymore. He wanted to protect her, and for Sirius that was whole new emotion towards a girl.


He continued to sit in front of the fire, common room started to fill with students. He heard someone come to him.


“We are going upstairs, are you coming?” it was Remus.


Sirius stood up and followed his friends up the stairs. They all laid down in their beds.


“You know,” James started to speak slowly and a little bit dreamily. “Lily sat with us at the dinner,” James’s voice sounded happy, he looked a tad nervous. Now he studied the Marauders Map. Sirius could bet on everything he had that James was looking at Lily Evans’s dot.


“That’s great, man,” Sirius was really happy for his mate, because Lily without a reason never sat with them at the dinner.


There was a silence for a while, but then Peter suddenly asked to everyone: “Why Slytherins, especially Regulus,” he shot a worried glance at Sirius because everyone knew he did not like to talk about his brother, “hate Alex?”


“I have no idea,” James answered looking up from the Marauders Map, apparently he had hound where Lily was.


“I have been thinking about the same thing,” Sirius said matter-of-factly.


All looked at Remus who laid on his bed and read a book without speaking a word.


“Moony,” James smirked, “would you like to tell us something?”


Remus put down his book and glanced at his friends. “Fine,” he gave up. “Do you remember when at the beginning of our fifth year Regulus fell face down in the Entrance Hall and everybody laughed?” he asked.


“Yeah, everybody who was there remembers it,” James smiled like people smile when they remember something very pleasant.


“Well,” Remus didn’t know how to continue so he paused. “Alex was the one who accidentally tripped him. And since then Regulus and the rest of Slytherins hates Alex and tries to bully her every time they can.”


Peter gasped, James looked shocked, but Sirius was disgusted not about what Alex did (unintentionally), but about Regulus who kept his grudge for all these years.


“That’s it? That is the reason?” James asked in disbelief.


“Yes,” Remus admitted. Looked like he also thinks that this reason is ridiculous. “Quite childish right?”


They thought about what they heard in silence, but Peter cheered up the room by offering them to play Exploding Snap, and so they did. For a couple of hours they forgot about all the worries and played the game.


Sirius tossed and turned for a while now, he couldn’t fall asleep. Finally he gave up and sat up in his bed, he knew he wouldn’t manage to fall asleep. His brain worked at full speed. He got up and left the bedroom, only when he was out of the common room he realized that he doesn’t know where he wants to go.


He hadn’t ate dinner, maybe he could go to the kitchens and eat something. Thinking about it for a while he started to head to the direction to the kitchens. But before he realized he turned to the Hospital Wing.


It wasn’t reasonable in the middle of the night to go and visit Alex. If Madame Pomfrey will caught him, he most definitely will get some detention. But… it would be worth it.


As quietly as possible he opened the door to the Hospital Wing and snuck inside. He went to Alex’s bed and sat on the chair beside the bed. Sirius looked at Alex, there she was – peaceful and beautiful. Her hair still was pin straight and long, they almost reached her waist, she still had some make-up on, but Sirius knew that without it she still looked gorgeous.


He took her hand, Sirius did not know how a person could be that… he was lost for words to describe Alex, because no one else was like her. This girl took everything literally that he had said to her and nobody ever did that. Alex had admitted that she liked Sirius, but did not try to do anything about it.


And of course she motioned to him that he is a complete bastard who did not deserves her, well, maybe she said it a little bit nicer, but it was clear as a day to Sirius. Alex even didn’t want to change Sirius after he confessed to her that he fancied her too. She was a miracle not a girl.


And now she laid in the hospital bed recovering from a curse which possibly was placed upon her by his brother himself. Sirius didn’t know how to feel, he still wanted to protect her, but why everything had to be so complicated this year?


Sirius sat by her side for a long time thinking about the fact that he really liked her, he had never felt something like this towards any other girl. He still held her hand when he put his head down on the bed and fell asleep.



She slowly opened her eyes and looked at the ceilings, Alex knew these ceilings way too well, too many nights and mornings was spent here. She sighed deeply because once again she was at the Hospital Wing. First rays of sunlight crept inside the room, this was the best part of waking up here because the view of sun hitting the ceilings was amazing. She tried to remember what had happened. Last thing she remembered was Sirius’s face covered in blood. Unlucky year for Black brothers, she smiled weakly.


Alex tried to move to understand if something hurts in her body, maybe something was broken. But there was no pain, she just felt that someone is holding her hand. She looked and saw Sirius sleeping.


Alex studied Sirius, yes he was handsome, and she wasn’t blind. But his actions wasn’t at all that handsome as he was. She slowly tried to free her hand without waking Sirius up, but nonetheless he woke up and stared at Alex with puzzled look in his eyes.


“Good morning,” Alex said quietly fascinated with Sirius reaction.


“Morning,” Sirius replied still puzzled, “how do you feel?”


“Good,” she answered. “Can you please explain to me what happened? Because the last thing I remember is me broking your nose. Sorry by the way.”


Sirius chuckled. “Someone from Slytherins cursed you, you were unconscious, I carried you back to school, Madame Pomfrey made sure you were okay and now you are up,” he said in one breath.


“You carried me back to school,” Alex repeated in disbelief, “from Hogsmeade?”


“Yes,” he confirmed. “It wasn’t that hard, you don’t weigh that much.”


Alex didn’t knew what to say. Sirius had carried her all the way to the castle, it was a long way to carry someone. She was shocked. Silence fell between them, because none of them knew what to say next.


“Why did you laughed yesterday?” Alex asked suddenly. Sirius looked at her, she realized that he has no idea what she is talking about. “When Remus said that all of the Great Hall was looking at my ass when I was leaving?”


“Oh,” he sighed but still managed to smile. “Because you said that you will cause no trouble to anyone,” he chuckled. “Sorry, but the way you looked yesterday caused trouble to everyone,” he continued to chuckle quietly.


“How’s that?” Alex was puzzled.


“Because now everybody knows how gorgeous you are,” Sirius answered simply.


Alex wanted to object, but was interrupted by Madame Pomfrey. “Well what is happening here Miss Watson?” she asked but did not allow anyone to answer. “Looks like you are better. I will check some things and you will be free to go to breakfast.” Madame Pomfrey acted like she did not see Sirius sitting there, she waved her wand and murmured some spells and then left just to return in couple of seconds with some potion in her hands.


“Drink this and then you are free to go,” she commanded and then left. Alex drank the potion which was very bitter, she shook her head in disgust and put the empty vile on the night stand beside her bed.


“Sirius,” she said very seriously, “you have two options – either you leave the Hospital Wing or you wait on the other side of the curtains for me to change.”


Sirius laughed his bark-like laughter and promised to wait for her while she changed. Alex felt disappointed when she realized that she has only clothes from yesterday to wear. And today she wasn’t in that great mood to put them on, but she had no choice.


“We can go,” Alex said when she once again was dressed in her tight black clothes. Sirius smiled and followed her outside the Hospital Wing.


They walked in silence when Alex suddenly spoke: “And Sirius,” she stopped and looked in his eyes, “please stop looking at my ass.” He smirked and did not felt offended at all.


They reached the corridor which divided the path to the Great Hall and the Gryffindor Common room. Alex stopped. “Actually I am starving, and I can take a shower after breakfast, so I’m going to the Great Hall,” she looked at Sirius, he was wearing only T-shirt and some pyjama bottoms and he was barefoot. “You probably want to change…” she began but Sirius stopped her.


“So breakfast,” he smiled the most charming smile and started to walk towards the Great Hall, “it’s decided – let’s go eat!” he didn’t even wait for her.


It wasn’t even 8 o’clock in the morning and the Great Hall was almost deserted. There was not even ten people eating breakfast at this ungodly hour of Sunday, Gryffindor table was completely empty. They sat at the end of the table and started to put everything on their plates.


Alex and Sirius didn’t talk they just ate in silence, none of them had any objections about that. Alex’s plate was empty and now she looked across the Great Hall.


“How can you eat that much, you are so tiny?” Sirius was surprised.


Alex jumped a little. Sirius’s question was too laud for this quiet Sunday morning.


“I was just hungry,” she shrugged her shoulders. Sirius looked at her with suspiciousness, but Alex already dreamily looked over the hall.


“Let’s go back to the common room,” Sirius suggested when he was finished with his breakfast and was standing up to leave.


“No, I want to drink one more cup of coffee,” she said, “but you can go,” she said matter-of-factly.


Sirius didn’t say anything but sat back to the table and put some more pancakes on his plate and started to eat again. Alex opened her mouth to say something but changed her mind.


“You have started to call me by my name,” Sirius smirked, “apparently you have decided that it is time for us to use our first names.”


“My apologies, but did you say something Black?” she gave him the most cunning smile she could master at the moment. But she knew very well that she started to call Sirius by name when she found out that he had carried her all the way from Hogsmeade to school.


“Oh, please, Watson,” Sirius’s smile was also very cunning, “I know that you have changed your mind.”


When Alex had drank her second cup of coffee and Sirius had ate his second plate of breakfast they went to the common room. Alex’s suspicions about Sirius not wanting to leave her alone did not leave her mind. And the next week was a proof to that.


In the period of all the next week Alex found out that wherever she went at least one of the Marauders was following her. Only time she could be alone was in the common room or when she sneaked out at nights to wonder around castle.


But in one night she caught Peter who was following her. And that was enough. One lovely October evening Alex found all Marauders sitting in front of the fireplace in the common room.


“That’s it guys,” she shouted, all of then jumped a feet in the air. “You have to stop following me, I don’t like it.”


“What are you talking about?” James played dumb, but Alex saw through him.


“Just stop! You are following me since the last visit to Hogsmeade,” she was in not so good mood. “It has to stop.”


“We just want you to be safe,” Remus added innocently.


“Remus please,” Alex looked in his eyes and raised her eyebrow. Rest of the Marauders did not understand what Alex look meant. But Remus shut up for the rest of conversation.


“We don’t want for Slytherins to attack you again,” Sirius said softly, “you do remember what happened last time.”


Of course she remembered. She very strictly looked at each of them, “I can take care of myself, stop following me. I’m not some helpless girl who cannot take care of herself,” she announced and left them.


Alex was touched by their concern, but she really didn’t like the attention.



It was the day of the full moon in October and he felt terrible. Marauders ate breakfast in silence, they sat nearby Alex and Lily. Even though Alex wanted for them to stop following her, they still watched over her time to time. Nobody wanted for Alex to get hurt or events of Hogsmeade to repeat itself.


Remus heard how Marauders started to talk something about some homework but he really wasn’t listening. He looked at Alex who stared at her plate with empty look in her eyes and drank her coffee. Remus was sure that she felt as terrible as he.


Owls flew in the Great Hall, Remus completely ignored them still looking at Alex. One of the owls landed in front of the Alex with a letter attached to its leg.


He watched Alex take the letter, she froze when she saw the seal on it. Alex said something very quietly to Lily and then turned to leave. Maybe he just imagined that, but Remus was sure that he saw tears falling down her cheeks when Alex rushed out of the Great Hall. He looked at Marauders, didn’t seem that they had noticed anything that just had happened.


Today’s first lesson was Transfiguration, when Remus noticed that Alex is missing from the class, he decided to skip class and find out if Alex was okay. The bell rang but he left the classroom to find Alex.


He looked into every empty class and girl’s bathroom on his way to the empty Gryffindor common room, he went to the bedroom to get the Marauders Map.


She wasn’t in the bedroom or the library. Looked like she just vanished, but then he saw the dot with name Alex Watson by the lake. He looked outside the window – it was raining. Why was Alex outside in the rain?


He found Alex on the bench by the lake, it was freezing outside. He reached the bench and sat next to her.


“A letter from your family?” Remus asked, he felt helpless because Alex was crying, and he did not know what to do with crying girls.


“Yeah,” her voice was sad, “like every month.” Remus knew that every month Alex got a letter from her family which did not wanted her and made her feel small about herself.


“What does it say – the same as usual?” Remus asked politely.


“Yes,” Alex sobbed, “this month too I am useless to them.”


She gave the letter to Remus, but he did not need to read it to know what was written. Just to be polite he took the letter and quickly glanced over it. He was right – it was awful. He folded it and put it in his pocket.


Remus knew that Alex’s family didn’t accepted her, and they liked to remind her that every month, like these days wasn’t hard enough. He felt Alex’s pain, it wasn’t the same as his but it was similar. Remus pulled Alex closer, hugged her and let her cry on his shoulder.


Remus felt how his robes was soaked from rain, Alex’s hair which he stroked long ago was drenched. He did not know how much time has passed while they were sitting here, but it became intolerably cold. Remus did not let go of Alex, he just continued to stroke her hair and back. But they had no choice, they had to return back to school, he kissed Alex’s forehead. It was painful to see Alex like this.


“Let’s go inside?” he asked quietly, “I’m frozen to the bone.”


Alex nodded and they stood up. Remus felt how Alex took his hand and leaned against him. He understood this need to not be alone. He put his hand around her waist and pulled her closer.


Before entering the castle Remus glanced back at the bench where they were sitting. And there it was – big, black dog who was standing right there. Remus sighed, he knew this would be very difficult to explain.


He watched how Alex disappeared in the stairs which led to girl’s bedroom, and went to his own. He entered the bedroom and started to undress, he wanted to get out of these wet clothes as fast as possible. He heard door open, without looking Remus knew it was Sirius.


“What the hell?!” he heard Sirius’s angry voice.


Remus turned and looked at Sirius, he was really angry. Remus was afraid that this conversation would lead to something he did not want to talk about.


“What?” Remus asked trying to play dumb, but he knew too well that this will not work.


“I saw you with Alex by the lake!” Sirius yelled in anger. “That’s why I am asking you – what the hell?!” Sirius stood so close that Remus could feel his body shaking in anger.


That what saw Sirius was ambiguous, it probably looked like Remus and Alex are together. But that wasn’t true. And he did not know how to explain that to Sirius, because he looked murderous.


“Alex was upset,” Remus tried to calm Sirius down, “and I just tried to make her feel better. That’s it, calm down, Padfoot,” he tried his best.


“Is this how you make girls feel better? Like it looks like you are sleeping with them?!” Sirius was pissed.


Remus did not wanted for this conversation to happen, but he did not knew how to end it. It was very clear that Sirius was this pissed just because he likes Alex, there was no other explanation to his anger.


“I’m not sleeping with her, we are just friends,” Remus started to feel annoyed. He put on dry pair of robes. “If you don’t mind, I would like not to miss herbology.” Remus just simply pushed Sirius away and left.


For the rest of the day they did not speak. Rest of Marauders did not understood what has happened because Sirius and Remus did not wanted to talk about that. Remus was sure enough that this full moon will be a catastrophe. Unfortunately he was right.


It was the next evening and Remus sat by the Alex’s bed in the Hospital Wing. He hold her hand, Remus didn’t wanted to go back to the bedroom because then he would be forced to meet the rest of the Marauders.


He sat by Alex until it got dark outside and candles were lit at the Hospital Wing. It was time to leave, he leaned and kissed Alex’s forehead and touched her cheek. Then he left barely walking, he had no idea why Madame Pomfrey let him go, he wouldn’t mind staying there for one more night or couple of weeks.

Chapter 5: Broken Hearts
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They all were in the bedroom and waited for Remus to return from the Hospital Wing. But James was sure that Sirius would rather jump off the Astronomy Tower than meet his friend. James couldn’t believe how they were fighting last night.


Nobody knew why they didn’t speak to each other. And James was sad because they usually did not keep secrets from each other. It must be Alex, there was no other explanation. Since the first day of this school year when Sirius noticed Alex everything had changed.


He had caught Sirius looking at Alex’s dot in Marauders Map way too often. He couldn’t blame him, because James liked to look at Lily’s dot too, but it was suspicious that Sirius did the same with Alex.


Alex was really nice, she and Remus was friends for a couple of years now and everybody knew that, but apparently Sirius hadn’t caught that, because they bickered more than usual. And all of these fight was somehow about Alex. James glanced at Sirius which laid in his bed and pretended to read a book, but actually he was looking outside the window.


James knew that Sirius really liked Alex not just fancied her, because otherwise he wouldn’t act so childish. He always knew that there would be a time when Sirius would like someone a lot, but James didn’t thought it would happen while they were in school, he would have bet it would happen after graduating.


James realized that Sirius really liked Alex when they were in Hogsmeade, when he saw how carefully Sirius picked her up from the ground and carried her all the way to the Hospital Wing. James had never seen his friend so worried and then he saw the relief on Sirius’s face when Madame Pomfrey told that Alex would be alright. Everything just confirmed James’s suspicions about Sirius’s feelings.


Door opened and Remus walked in limping, he looked like shit, James couldn’t remember the last time he saw Remus like that. Remus glared at Sirius and laid back in his bed. James exhaled, he knew that this couldn’t continue like that.


“Moony, Padfoot, what the hell is happening between you two?” James finally spoke when he realized that they would probably spend all evening in silence.


“I really want to know the answer to that question too,” Sirius growled without taking his eyes off of Remus.


“That’s enough,” James said strictly. “Please let’s just talk everything out civilized, there is no need to act like children.”


“But…” Sirius tried to object, but James interrupted him.


“Enough! You have an intellect to act your age, why are you not doing it?”


There was a silence, James looked at his friends. After a while he was relieved to conclude that they were going to talk.


“I assume that all this whatever this is,” James motioned between Remus and Sirius, “is somehow connected with Alex.” James knew he was right, Sirius and Remus just nodded.


“They both like Alex,” Peter squeaked, he hadn’t muttered a word all evening.


“Exactly,” Sirius said simply, but his answer was clouded by Remus’s: “No.”


Everybody looked at Remus. He looked like he is not ready for this conversation, but James didn’t regret starting it.


“What happened between you two?” James demanded because he realized that he had no clue what is going on between two of his best friends.


“Yesterday I saw them both by the lake, Alex was upset, she cried, and then they both were embracing and went back to the castle,” Sirius announced sadly. “Looked like they were together.”


Remus frowned, James didn’t know if it was due to pain or due to Sirius words. Sirius looked terrible. James couldn’t believe that Remus tried to steal Alex from under Sirius’s nose. They weren’t like that, he knew that way too well.


“I know how it looked,” Remus said with closed eyes, “but it’s nothing like that.”


“Then can you explain?” looked like it is very hard for Sirius to act calmly, deep inside he was ready to explode. James felt it.


“It’s complicated,” Remus sighed and sat up in his bed, his face contorted in pain.


“Why?” Peter asked cautiously.


“Because I promised Alex that I wouldn’t tell,” it was possible to hear in how much physical pain Remus was.


James knew how much for Remus meant promises. He relied on his friends that his secret would be safe with them, and Remus was one of the most trustworthy persons that James knew. This situation was really tricky for Remus.


“Is it possible to tell us something without breaking the promise?” James asked hopefully.


“Not really, because my answer – There is nothing between us – isn’t good enough for Padfoot,” he looked at Sirius who still was mad as hell. “Fine, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.” Remus gave up, but it was obvious that it wasn’t with difficulties.


Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, because promise was a promise and that was a sacred thing.


“I became friends with Alex at the end of the Fourth year,” he looked at Sirius who apparently didn’t believed that they were just friends, “for some reasons, but…” Remus grabbed his side, looked like Madame Pomfrey potions began to lose their impact, “… at the end of the Fifth year I started to fancy Alex.”


“I knew that you were lying,” Sirius shouted.


“Let him finish,” James shushed Sirius.


“We sort of dated until Christmas that year, but that’s it, we are friends now,” Remus continued.


“What does that mean – sort of dated?” Peter asked looking very puzzled.


“It means that we felt more like friends not the couple all the time,” Remus cleared, “we both realized that it’s not going to work and decided to be just friends.”


“But you were together?!” Sirius didn’t gave up.


“Yes and no,” Remus sighed very painfully. “Alex asked me not to tell anyone probably because of this reason – it is very hard to explain. That wasn’t a relationship not for a moment, it was just friendship all along.”


“Have you kissed her?” James was curious.


“Prongs what kind of question is that?” Remus looked ticked off. “You perfectly know that I don’t kiss and tell.” James knew that, and also he knew that this answer didn’t answer his question at all.


“Alex is amazing,” Remus rolled his eyes when Sirius shifted in his bed, “everybody who has a pair of eyes knows that,” he quickly added. “But we are really just friends, I see her as a sister which I care very deeply for. And nothing more,” Remus waited for Sirius’s reaction.


Sirius sat in his bed with crossed arms, but didn’t say anything. It was clear that he digested everything that he had just heard. James was surprised that he didn’t knew about Remus and Alex, but he understood Remus not breaking his promise to Alex.


“Sorry about yesterday,” Sirius finally spoke. Remus just smiled very weakly. “But if that is how you comfort crying girls, then everybody will think that you are sleeping with them,” Sirius smiled sadly. “By the way, why Alex was crying?” that sounded like the old and not that angry Sirius, James smirked about that.


“Alex has very complicated relationship with her family,” Remus was unsure about conversation subject change. “Sometimes it brings her to tears.”


Sirius’s relationships with his family also was uneasy, the Marauders knew that. That evening boys went to beds in silence, but it was clear that they spend a lot of time thinking to themselves before they fell asleep.



November was fast approaching, and Alex was sitting at the common room and tried to study. Professor Flitwick wanted them to write especially long essay in charms, and Alex tried to do this homework first of all the rest of them. But all her tries to study was interrupted by Rodger Boot.


“Hi, how are you?” he smiled.


“Good and you?” Alex tried to be polite, but she wasn’t in a mood for talking. All year Rodger tried to ask her out on a date, but she just wasn’t interested. Alex didn’t knew how to let him down gently.


“Fine,” he nervously looked around. “A lot of homework, professors apparently think that we have nothing better to do.” He laughed too nervously.


“I don’t mind the homework,” Alex was frank. “I tried to do some of them before you interrupted me,” she waved her arm across the table where all her books and parchment paper was laid out.


“Oh,” Rodger realized.


“Alex!” someone called her name across the common room. “Thank Merlin I found you!” that was Sirius which strode in a straight line to her. “You promised me to give your potion notes, I was worried that you might forget,” he said reaching the place where Alex sat.


Alex stared at Sirius like he was the crazy person, she perfectly knew that she had not promised such a thing. What the hell he was talking about? But Sirius just smiled and looked in her eyes.


“Can I help you Boot?” he suddenly looked at Rodger and studied him from head to toe.


“Erm…” Rodger was too stunned to answer. “No,” he looked at Alex, “fine I will leave now,” Rodger walked away with a puzzled look on his face.


Sirius plopped in the chair in front of Alex, took out of his pocket The Daily Prophet and started to read it. Alex frowned but continued to study Sirius’s features, but he did not looked her way.


“I told you that you don’t need to babysit me, and Rodger is Gryffindor, so what can he do to me? And I didn’t promise you any notes,” Alex said it in one breath when she finally managed to speak.


“I’m not babysitting you, I’m just sitting here and reading a paper,” Sirius smiled and looked at Alex over the top of the Prophet. “And it looked like you didn’t want to talk to him,” Sirius added. “I don’t need your notes, I manage my own very well thank you very much.”


Alex hated that Sirius had noticed her unwillingness to talk to Rodger, but she didn’t believe for a second that Sirius just wanted to sit here and read the paper. He usually was so preoccupied by his friends or other girls, he just didn’t had time to just read the paper.


“I was studying here,” Alex said impatiently. Sirius didn’t react.


“I’m not going to bother you, please continue,” still reading the paper he added.


Alex shook her head, but returned to her charms essay. She had no reason to believe Sirius’s words that he would not bother her. But she was wrong – they spend all evening just like that, Alex was studying and Sirius read The Daily Prophet.


It was November and time for the next Hogsmeade visit. Alex woke up before the sun was even up, she laid in her bed and stared at the bed ceilings. This time she had no desire to go to the Hogsmeade, which ironically was one of her most favourite places in England. She got up, took a muggle novel from her nightstand and went to the common room.


It was deserted because it was too early for anyone to be up especially in Saturday. She cozied up in the armchair by the window and started to read her book. After a while first rays of sunlight coughed her attention, sky was very clear and red, Alex liked these kind of sunrises.


“Alex, are you coming to breakfast?” her peace and quiet was interrupted by Lily, who was up and ready to go. Alex didn’t knew where time went.


After the breakfast they both returned to bedrooms. Alex laid in her bed and frowned, she hadn’t decided if she will go to the Hogsmeade this time. Maybe Lily could help her?


“Lils, are you going to Hogsmeade today?” she asked and turned to her side to see Lily which now sorted some parchments which laid all over her bed.


“I can’t,” she turned and looked a little of bit angry, “don’t you remember that I have that meeting about the Christmas Ball?” Lily didn’t like when someone didn’t listened to her.


“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Alex really had forgotten about that. She sighed very deeply.


“But you should go, don’t let the last Hogsmeade visit ruin your most favourite weekends,” Lily said gently again sorting her parchments.


Lily was right as usual. Alex smiled, thanked for advice and went to the bathroom to get ready.


Despite the fact that Alex went to Hogsmeade alone she didn’t felt lonely. She liked to be alone, Alex went to all her favourite places to end her trip in The Three Broomsticks. It was hers and Lily’s ritual when they visited Hogsmeade together.


Alex ordered some butterbeer and found free table at the very corner of The Three Broomsticks. She drank her butterbeer and observed the people on the street, everybody had their errands to run or they just walked slowly deep in their thoughts. It was getting close to evening and Alex saw that groups of Hogwarts students was returning to the castle for dinner. Maybe she had to go too? She shifted in her chair to get up, but then someone stopped her.


“Please don’t tell me that you are leaving?” Sirius cried out in outrage, he was holding two glasses.


“If you want to get to the dinner in time, then you should join me,” Alex answered but remained seated.


“If that’s the problem then you can stop worrying right now,” he sat down and handed one glass to Alex. The drink in the glass was definitely not butterbeer. “I will buy you a dinner here, if you stay.”


“But we will not get back to the school if we stay here,” she pointed out, but still remained seated.


“And also about that you don’t have to worry, dear Miss Watson,” Sirius smiled his charming smile. “That’s it – you could just stay here, stop worrying and have dinner with me.”


“By the way,” Alex looked around at all the pub’s visitors, “where are the rest of Marauders? Or some girl to keep you company?” she very suspiciously studied Sirius, because she realized that the last time she saw Sirius with some girl was the last visit to Hogsmeade.


“Prongs and Moony are at that meeting about Christmas Ball, but Wormtail had a lot of homework to do, plus professor McGonagall did not accept his last essay so he had to rewrite it,” he answered boringly, “and I am with you and you are a girl, so I think that I have answered to all of your questions.” Sirius’s eye contact was piercing but also mysterious, his eyes were too perfectly grey.


“I meant a girl who doesn’t mind for her heart to be broken afterwards,” Alex said looking out the window not wanting to see Sirius’s reaction.


“Stop it, just let me to buy you a dinner.” Sirius tried to convince Alex. “I promise not to break your heart while we are eating, so how bad it can go?” Okay, that was dirty played, Alex thought. But she deserved it.


“Fine,” she agreed, “but I’m going to eat some dessert too.” They both smiled.



They waited for a dessert. Dinner was perfect, Sirius had to admit that this were one of the best dinners he ever had. It was so simple to be in Alex’s company. They ate, talked, laughed, and drank a lot of firewhiskey, evening was undeniably amazing.


Alex’s cheeks were blushed most definitely from firewhiskey, maybe she had drank too much. Sirius was surprised that he didn’t felt drunk and Alex could keep up with him. She stood up and went for the bathrooms, but just after a few steps she turned her head and very seriously stated: “Sirius please we have talked about this – stop staring at my ass.” But she smiled and walked further.


How the hell it was possible not to look at her ass? All her body was amazing. And this evenings short dress didn’t help. Alex looked good as usual. She dressed up for this Hogsmeade visit too, Sirius thought that it was unfair because he had to watch once again how all the boys and men undress her with their eyes. There was nothing he could do about it so he ordered another round of firewhiskey.


“How are we going to get back to school?” Alex asked when they exited The Three Broomsticks. She looked so cute when she was just a little bit tipsy.


“Marauders secret which you will find out soon enough,” Sirius answered and wiggled his eyebrows. He took Alex by the arm and pulled her at the Honeydooks direction.


“How mysterious,” she didn’t even tried to get out of Sirius’s hold.


They sneaked in the Honeydukes and walked down to the basement, Sirius opened the hatch and disappeared in the hole. Then he helped Alex to get into the passageway. Alex closed the hatch and they found themselves in complete darkness. Sirius lit his wand so they could see.


They stood in the passageway, Sirius saw that Alex is waiting for him to tell her where to go. But Sirius couldn’t stop looking in Alex’s eyes, which now looked very wild from his wand light. These wild eyes he liked the best. And without thinking Sirius leaned in and kissed Alex. He blamed the firewhiskey, because otherwise he would not have kissed Alex, he knew too well what Alex thought about him.


Sirius was surprised when Alex pressed against him and didn’t stop the kiss. Sirius wrapped his arms around Alex and didn’t even thought about letting her go. Alex kissed passionately and daringly. Apparently they both had a little too much to drink tonight. Sirius just felt how much he wanted her right here and right now. She was the most amazing girl he knew and he did not wanted to share her with someone else.


They kissed for a while, one Alex’s hand was in his hair, but other rested on his chests. Sirius slowly stroked her side while his hand reached Alex’s dress bottom. He paused and nibbled with the hem of her dress, he didn’t wanted to rush anything and scare her away. But he couldn’t think clearly at that moment, that’s why he slid his hand underneath her dress and touched her thigh, slowly moving his hand towards her ass.


“Sirius…” Alex whispered, she slightly pushed him away. He had no desire to listen to any reason why this is bad idea, that he need to stop. Sirius didn’t wanted to hear any of this. He leaned in to kiss Alex, but she didn’t let him.


“Sirius…” she repeated. “I can’t.”


Sirius let her go, Alex leaned against the wall, and she breathed heavily. Alex put her hand over her forehead and looked at Sirius scared. Sirius closed his eyes, he did not wanted to see regret in her face. He breathed in and out heavily a couple of times and opened his eyes. “That’s right, broken hearts… fine, let’s go back to the castle,” he took her by her arm and started to walk towards the castle.


They walked in silence, Sirius felt guilty about what had happened, despite Alex kissing him back. He didn’t want to talk and thankfully Alex didn’t try to start a conversation. He was scared that Alex would said that this was just a mistake, he did not wanted to hear those words from her mouth.


Sirius helped Alex to get out of the passageway, he did not release her hand and they continued their way back to the common room. Just before the Fat Lady Sirius suddenly stopped. Music came from the common room.


“Shit,” he said, Sirius shook his head in anger. Alex was surprised. “I forgot.”


“What did you forget?” Alex asked.


“About the party at the common room,” he still looked angry, but it looked like he was angry at himself.


“Was there supposed to be party this evening?” Alex was confused. “In what honor?”


“My birthday,” Sirius answered in a gloomy voice.


“You chose to spend your birthday with me and not with your friends?” Alex looked at Sirius like she didn’t believe anything anymore, but he just released her hand and entered the common room.


He went straight to James which was the heart of the party but at the same time argued with Lily who yelled at him that he cannot throw a party because James is the Head Boy. When James noticed Sirius he smiled all over his face.


“Happy birthday Padfoot!” James slapped Sirius on shoulder and roughly hugged him. “Isn’t this a party, right?”


“Is there any firewhiskey left?” it was only thing Sirius said to James which was disappointed, but still pointed Sirius to the corner.


Sirius walked to the table, took the bottle of firewhiskey and turned to the boy’s dormitory stairs. He noticed Alex stare, she stood in

the middle of the common room and looked at him, and then she turned and went to her own bedroom and Sirius went to his not even saying a word to his friends.


Next day Sirius woke up with the most horrible hangover that he had ever experienced. His head was splitting in half and light was the worst enemy. He laid in his bed and tried not to move because every move was accompanied by stab in his brains. Sirius remembered yesterday and how he had fucked up everything.


“Padfoot, I brought you some water,” it was James, he was somewhere nearby. He heard how James put glass of water on the nightstand, then he felt how James sat in his bed, but Sirius still tried not to move or open his eyes.


“Thanks,” he finally said, “what time is it?”


“Five in the afternoon,” James responded. Great, that meant that Sirius had slept all day and still felt this horrible. Sirius couldn’t figure it out at what time he went to bed.


“What happened yesterday?” he asked.


“You drank the whole bottle of firewhiskey, finally told us everything and passed out around four.”


“Great,” Sirius growled, but actually nothing was great. Today’s hangover made everything more terrible.


“Here drink some water, take a shower, and then we can go to the dinner, after that you will feel better,” James touched his shoulder, but it just caused more pain.


After a while Sirius opened his eyes, but he still hated the light, and drank all the water, it didn’t help.

A/N: Hello, I just wanted to inform that my plan is to upload once or perfectly two times a week. I hope that my plan will work. So thank you all for reading!

Chapter 6: Rock Bottom
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Nobody liked Monday mornings, that’s why Alex and Lily ate their breakfast in silence. The Marauders who were seated nearby were also untypically quiet. Alex glanced at Sirius which ate his breakfast very unenthusiastically and stared at his juice glass.


Alex remembered what had happened in the passageway and bit her lip, it was too bittersweet. She blamed firewhiskey but she couldn’t denied that neither she nor Sirius wanted for it to stop. Alex shook her head, she couldn’t think that kind of thoughts.


Yesterday evening Sirius apologized for kissing her, he stated that that was out of line from his part. Alex knew that he was disappointed in himself, but she would never expected an apology. Sirius Black himself apologized to a girl it was something so unreal.

Alex coughed herself realizing that Sirius surprised her more and more every day, and for some reason she didn’t like that.


“Miss Watson,” in this quite Monday morning Professor’s McGonagall’s voice was like a lightning strike from clear sky, it startled everyone, Lily almost spilled her juice. But everyone including Marauders looked at first at Alex and then at professor. “Professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office, please follow me,” Alex didn’t know what had happened, she couldn’t think of anything she might have done wrong to be summoned to headmasters office.


Alex looked around, Marauders was staring at her with their mouths open and Lily was confused, Alex just shrugged her shoulders like saying that she has no clue either of what is happening, then she stood up and followed professor McGonagall out of the Great Hall.


Professor Dumbledore sat by his table and read a letter, he looked concerned, he motioned with his hand for Alex to sit down, but professor McGonagall stood beside him. Alex still didn’t understood why she is here, and that made her nervous.


“Miss Watson you apparently have no idea why you are here,” Dumbledore said very calmly, he rested his arms on the table and put together his fingertips. Alex just nodded but said nothing.


“Unfortunately the best way to hear a bad news is to hear then at once,” for a moment Alex glanced at professor McGonagall who looked very concerned and then she looked back at Dumbledore. “That’s why I will not let you wait longer, I am so sorry to announce to you that your aunt Radella died yesterday.”


Alex inhaled sharply, she looked in disbelief at McGonagall and Dumbledore, but it didn’t looked like they were joking. It would be the worst joke to play on someone. She felt the tears pilling up in her eyes, but she bit her lip trying not to cry, because she didn’t wanted to do that in front of her professors.


Only person from her family who accepted her now is dead. She couldn’t believe that, it felt like the most terrible nightmare, she wanted to wake up. Aunt Radella was dead and now Alex was completely alone. There was no one which Alex loved that deeply and truly than her aunt.


Alex thought that she was breathing ice cold air, because she had a feeling like someone was stabbing her chests with piercing sharp knife, she thought that someone was trying to kill her. But then she realized that it was sorrow, and it didn’t felt like it would ever go away. Alex tried to listen what professor McGonagall was saying so that she wouldn’t have to think about her icy cold and painful chests.


“You are relieved from classes and all other school work for this week,” McGonagall politely told her, “but if you require more time it is possible that other professors would understand because you are one of the top students in our year.” Alex didn’t care about school at all right now, she wouldn’t even care if they expelled her right here on the spot, because only person in her life that meant for her the world was dead.


“I will make you a portkey, so you can go home,” Dumbledore added quietly, “you will have time to gather your…”


“Can I apparate from the Hogsmeade?” Alex interrupted professor Dumbledore, wiping tears which managed to escape her eyes from her cheeks.


“Yes, I think that wouldn’t be a problem,” after a while Dumbledore spoke, “and you can return whenever you like, you don’t have to worry about that.” Dumbledore’s gaze was understanding, but it didn’t help much Alex this time.


“Can I go?” Alex asked fighting back tears and trying not to sound too much pathetic.


Professor Dumbledore just nodded and Alex practically ran out of his office. When she was out of there she realized that she couldn’t hold back tears anymore. She cried all the way back to the common room.


It was almost lunch time but Alex still sat in her bed, she wavered that she could survive this week. Alex looked at the clock, there wasn’t much time left to leave if she wanted to stay unnoticed. She put on a coat and a scarf, placed a note on Lily’s bed in which she explained what has happened, took her bag and left.


She met no one while she was walking through the castle, when she was out of the castle in the chilly November air, she just heard the bell which announced lunch time. Alex pulled coat closer around her body and fighting back tears started to walk towards Hogsmeade.


Alex apparated in front of the house of her parents, but she waited before entering the grounds. She didn’t had strength to meet her parents, because she knew very well it wouldn’t be pleasant. Finally she opened the gates and stepped on the gravel road which led to old mansion which belonged to her family for centuries.


She opened the doors and entered the entrance hall, it was quite. Alex’s mother came out of the living room, she was petite woman with chocolate brown hair just like Alex. Only all her presence was complete opposite to Alex, from her mother radiated coldness and dominance, there was no trace of warmth and politeness in her face.


“Alex,” she said coldly.


“Mother,” Alex answered matching her mother’s coldness. Then Alex turned and started her way upstairs to her bedroom.


“Funeral is in Thursday at 11 o’clock in France,” Alex turned to look on her mother from the top of the stairs, but all she saw was her back disappearing behind the doors to the living room.


Alex went to her room which she had used maybe couple of times in the last years, all her holidays she spent in France with her aunt. She sat in the bed and studied the room, it was large and bright, all the stuff in the room was neatly placed on shelves or tables, all her clothes were folded or hung in the closet, almost if they waited for her to return, but she didn’t wanted to stay here, she didn’t felt like home.


Alex walked around the room, she looked at all the things and realized that she didn’t want any of this. All her stuff was in France. These were just thing and actually meant nothing to her. Alex took her bag and went down to the kitchens, she threw some Floo powder in the fireplace and went straight to the France, Alex didn’t wanted to be here not for one more minute longer.


It was Friday evening and Alex went down to the basement, she locked herself in the room which was made especially for her and sat in the corner on the cold stone floor. She hugged her knees with her arms and placed her chin on them. Alex cried once again, she didn’t even tried to wipe away her tears. Deep down in her heart she tried to promise herself that this would be the last time she cried.


She had cried too much, Alex was surprised that she could even produce so many tears. In the past week she had cried about her family and how much they hated her, about her aunt who is gone and will never come back, about the fact that now Alex is alone, and about everything she hadn’t cry usually. She remembered how she had cried when Alex found a package for herself in aunt’s room which contained five beautiful dresses for her Christmas Ball for Alex to choose from.


Alex felt mentally weak, she couldn’t remember when she had cried so much. And she didn’t like to be weak. That’s why she tried to promise herself again that this would be the last time, at least for a while. She lifted her head to look at the small window, she waited and after a couple of minutes beautiful silver moonlight shone in the basement.



In the Sunday afternoon all Marauders sat in the common room and played exploding snap. Nobody wanted to study, because their minds was preoccupied with other things. Alex was gone for a whole week and nobody had heard from her. Lily told them what had happened and why Alex is gone, but Remus told them how much Alex loved her aunt and that she was the only one from her family who accepted Alex.


Sirius still didn’t knew why Alex’s family hated her, but it didn’t looked like Remus was going to tell them that any time soon, but it was clear that he knew. Sirius looked at Remus who still looked too weak after Friday’s transformation, but still he agreed to play cards with them.


Every time someone opened the portrait hole Sirius and Remus shoot a look that way waiting to see Alex coming back. But hours passed by and there was no sign of Alex. Soon there will be time for dinner and Sirius laid on the couch in front of the fireplace, he tried not to think about Alex, but he couldn’t.


“Alex?!” he heard Lily’s voice, he jumped from the couch and looked at the portrait hole. And there she was with her beautiful chocolate brown hair with caramel highlights and amazing honey brown eyes. Sirius felt calm overcome his body.


But then their eyes met, and he felt icy poke in his heart. Her eyes was so empty, like there was nothing in this world that she cared about, all her warmth and joyfulness was gone. Alex looked away from Sirius and looked at Lily. Apparently Lily noticed Alex’s eyes too, because she stopped dead on the spot.


Alex just turned and left for the girls bedrooms.


All this week while they were waiting for Alex Lily ate dinners together with Marauders, this evening wasn’t exception and Lily sat with them, but Alex didn’t even bother to come down to dinner. They ate in silence like they usually did, before this year Marauders never ate in silence, but now it was usual. Sirius hated that.


“Evening,” it was Alex, she was here with them, “Enjoy your meal,” she said quietly and started to put some dessert on her plate. Everybody just watched her and said nothing.


“How are you feeling?” Lily carefully asked, but Alex just continued to eat her dessert and stared somewhere over all the students heads, she didn’t even tried to answer.


Sirius studied Alex, her hair was in high ponytail and he saw a very nasty scar which started somewhere near her ear, continued across her neck and disappeared under her sweater. Alex’s hands were bruised and scarred, her eyes were puffy, and blue circles under her eyes were uncharacteristically big.


He didn’t get what had happened with Alex. Was it her who does that to herself, of is it her family? But it didn’t seemed like the right time to ask about that, because they all just kept silent.


Next week was the week of Silence (yes, with a capital letter). Everything that happened between every one of them was in silence, they talked very little and they just kept an eye on Alex. But Alex was the one who practically didn’t talked at all. They just heard a couple of “Hello’s”, “Thank You’s” and “Good Bye’s” from Alex. Well she answered if professors asked her anything, but otherwise she just kept silent, she didn’t even spoke to Lily and that was bad.


It was late Friday evening and every Marauder was getting ready to go to bed. Sirius was already under the blanket and checked in the Marauders Map if Alex is in her bedroom. He put the map down and decided that he really needs some good night sleep. But suddenly there was a knock on their door. James stood up very confused and went to open the door.


“Lily?” Sirius turned just in time to see James run a hand through his hair and Lily blushing a little bit because James was half naked.


“Can I come in?” she asked shyly trying not to look at James.


“Yes, of course,” James stepped aside letting her in and run his hand through his hair once again. They all exchanged looks but didn’t say anything.


“Lily, what’s happened?” it was Remus who broke the silence.


“Alex,” she said quietly and sat on James’s bed, Sirius could see in James’s face that he would most likely jump up and down from joy if this situation wasn’t that serious. “She hasn’t spoken to anyone since she returned, she doesn’t eat or sleep, she just studies or lays wide awake in her bed and stairs at one point with empty look in her eyes. I am so worried about her.”


Sirius also knew that Alex likes to wonder around the castle at nights, or she likes to sit in the kitchens or on top of the Astronomy Tower. He knew that just because he stalked her every free moment, he was concerned that she might do something stupid. Looking at her dot in the Marauders Map and following her using Invisibility cloak was the new hobbies of Sirius for the past week.


“She doesn’t speak to me either,” Remus confessed, he now sat on his bed. Lily sighed and hid her face in her palms. Sirius caught that James just needed a second to pause when he sat down next to Lily and put a hand over her shoulders.


“What can we do to make things better?” James asked softly not to worry Lily more than necessary.


“Well, I thought that maybe Sirius…” she stopped and looked at him. Sirius was the only one who hadn’t tried to talk to Alex, he had just tried to be next to her but never to speak to her.


“Why would she talk to me?” he questioned Lily’s statement.


“I am almost sure that Alex will not speak to you either, but you are the only one who can be next to her like nobody else,” Sirius sighed, he was afraid of this. If this is true what Lily just said, that it meant that there are some possibility for Sirius and Alex. But this was a shit time to seize the day.


“Are you sure?” Sirius asked very unsurely.


“Yeah, you are the only hope for Alex right now,” she said sadly.


“Are rest of the girls asleep in your room?”


“Yes,” Lily was surprised, “what are you going to do?”


But Sirius was already out of the bed and with a wand in his hand left the room. He stopped in front of the girl’s bedroom staircase, murmured some spell and without a problem went up the stairs. He stopped by the door, quietly opened it and snuck inside.


Alex laid in bed but she was awake. She had lost some weight, it was written all over her face that she had slept maybe two nights in the past week, her eyes was empty. She looked at Sirius, slightly frowned surprised to see him here, but then she turned back to looking at one specific point on the wall like she did before.


Sirius went to her bed and got under the covers next to Alex. She didn’t even move. Sirius put a hand beneath her neck and then completely pulled her to his body, he felt how Alex tried to protest, but after a while she stopped. He held her tightly not letting her to move, then he put his lips to her ear and spoke very quietly.


“It’s alright,” he whispered, “everything’s going to be fine, I will not let anybody hurt you. Don’t you worry, I am here and you are safe.” He repeated that again and again until he felt Alex’s body shiver a little bit and she pressed herself even more to him, after a while he felt her tears soaking through his T-shirt.


Sirius heard how Lily entered the bedroom, before she get into bed she looked at Sirius and Alex and smiled a weak but a little bit happy smile. With a wand Sirius closed the curtains of the bed, then he started to stroke rhythmically Alex’s back. She cried very quietly resting her head on Sirius’s chests. After a while Alex fell asleep but Sirius continued to stroke her back.



“Shh, you will wake them up,” Alex heard someone whispering angrily, “Let’s go to lunch.”


Lunch, where did breakfast go? Alex was too sleepy to understand what is happening. She had slept and her body felt like she had slept for a long time. Alex tried to move, but she couldn’t, only thing she could move was her arm. Somebody was holding her, she opened her eyes and saw still sleeping Sirius, he was the one holding her and it didn’t looked like he will let her go.


Alex closed her eyes remembering last night’s events. She still couldn’t believe that it was Sirius who managed to pull her out of her rock bottom. Sirius who didn’t care about anyone else except Marauders, he just came to her and hold her like a little child without a question. She could never forget how safe she felt in his arms.


Not just yesterday but also today she felt Sirius’s warm and strong hands around her body, they gave her shelter and it didn’t matter that it was just for a couple of moments. She felt safe, and Alex couldn’t remember the last time she felt safe was.


She gently touched Sirius’s cheek, he moved just a little bit and then pulled her even closer if it was even possible. Alex hugged him with her free hand and squeezed very tightly.


“Watson, is this some kind of attempt of murder?” Sirius tried to joke, but it was difficult because it looked like he couldn’t breathe properly.


“No, but I would like to know why you came last night?” she asked seriously but small smile played in her lips.


She looked in his eyes and saw there relief, she also felt relieved, Sirius smiled.


“Because that was the only thing I could think of that could make you feel better,” he said caressing her cheek. “You needed to get out of that black hole you were in, and that’s a fact.”


“Thank You,” she sighed and closed her eyes. She felt Sirius kissing her forehead.


“Don’t even mention it,” he said quietly.


Alex hugged him one more time and then got out of the bed. “I’m sorry but you have to leave now,” she stated simply, Alex looked at very puzzled Sirius and explained. “I am starving and I need to take a shower before lunch, so you have to leave,” she smiled at still puzzled Sirius which hadn’t moved an inch and went to the bathroom.


After a shower Alex felt better, she got dressed and went down to the common room. Marauders and Lily was waiting for her, Alex guilty stood in front of them.


“Please forgive me,” she said very quietly and warily looked at her friends, they were smiling comforting smiles, and that made Alex feel a little bit better.


“It is fine,” Remus said and came to her, “let’s better go to lunch otherwise you look worse than a hungry wolf.” Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise, but Remus just winked and pushed her to the portrait hole.


In the time of the following month everything slowly fell into place. Alex was eating and sleeping, and she was once again talking to her friends. She felt that old she was returning, and Alex liked it. Only thing that had changed was the need to sleep besides Sirius, because she had discovered that beside him was the only place she could fell asleep very fast and sleep almost through whole night.


And that is the reason why she slept in Sirius’s bed couple of times per week, they just slept together, nothing happened. Alex was very surprised that Sirius not even once tried to make a move on her. And that was very hard to explain to others, because they didn’t believe. And finally Alex gave up, she didn’t care what Marauders and Lily thought.

Chapter 7: Bittersweet
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He was tired and wanted to go to sleep, but Remus had promised to James that he would wait for him when he would return from his Head Boy and Girl meeting. Book that he was reading wasn’t that interesting anymore, that’s why Remus looked around the common room. It wasn’t that late and common room was quite occupied with Gryffindors. He looked at Peter who was seated by the table and did some homework. Remus considered that he could maybe help him because Peter looked miserable, but he felt too tired to get up from the couch.


He looked to his right and saw Alex and Sirius playing wizard’s chess. Alex sat in the armchair with her legs crossed and looked bored, she waited for Sirius to make his move, but Sirius sat on the floor and looked to the chess board with despair in his eyes. Sirius ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip, Remus studied chess board and realized that Sirius is doomed, Alex was ready to make the final move if Sirius didn’t came up with something good. Remus chuckled a bit, he knew that Sirius was great chess player but apparently Alex was better.


Remus unobtrusively watched them for a while, he couldn’t believe how Sirius had changed. During this term Sirius had only been together with two girls and it was ages ago. Usually around Christmas time there are at least twenty girls in Sirius’s used girls list, not even mentioning reoccurring subjects. Sirius really liked Alex and that wasn’t a joke, all Marauders had concluded it.


The most unusual thing was that Alex too liked Sirius, but she didn’t wanted to be in the relationship, because she was afraid that Sirius would break her heart. Remus understood her doubts, but she didn’t knew how much Sirius had changed. Remus thought that Sirius himself didn’t even realized how much he had changed – sleeping in one bed with a girl you like and not trying to make a move, that was something only new Sirius could do, not the old one.


Remus was worried that it might be Alex who would break Sirius’s heart, not the other way around how it was expected.


“POTER!” Remus’s contemplations was interrupted by Lily’s shriek, it came from the portrait hole. “YOU ARROGANT IDIOT! THAT WAS SO RECKLESS YOU COULD HAVE BROKE YOUR NECK!” Lily shouted entering the common room, James followed her, but he didn’t looked angry at all.


“Evans, nothing happened,” James said running fingers through his hair, “I don’t understand why you are shouting.”


“You are so presumptuous! You really thought that I would go out with you if you will threaten me to jump off the Astronomy tower if I say no?!” Lily continued to shout but in much lower level. All common room looked at them, Remus was surprised by James actions to get Lily go out with him.


“But at least I tried,” James answered stubbornly and smirked. “Just stop it Evans, I really didn’t meant it,” he added trying to calm Lily down.


“Oh, just this little innocent statement that you would plunge towards your death if I say no,” she started angrily at James and crossed her arms across her chests. Remus wasn’t sure that James would actually do it, but it didn’t matter.


“Fine, I give up,” James waved his hands in surrender, seemed like all common room is holding their breaths. “Would it be so hard to go out with me on one, little, innocent date?” he just simply asked.


“Why are you not leaving me alone?” Lily was still mad, it was clear that she was fed up with James’s childishness.


“Because I like you very much,” James slowly started to go towards Lily who now looked angry and thunderstruck at once. “And when you are angry you look just amazingly beautiful,” James was already in front of her, it was possible to feel the tension in the room.


And at that moment James Potter kissed Lily Evans in front of everyone. Remus couldn’t believe what was happening, he waited for the world to end because that could be the only explanation for this madness. It was possible to cut the silence with the knife when their lips drew away.


“Fine, I’ll go out with you,” Lily quietly mumbled. James opened his mouth to say something, but then Lily Evans kissed James Potter.


Remus was afraid that he would go deaf from the noise that overcame the common room. People yelled and cheered, and clapped their hands. Sirius was up on his feet and yelled like a maniac, Alex sat very still and with an open mouth stared at Lily and James, and it looked like Peter could cry. People all around just was happy about two of them, after all this bickering this was like a breath of fresh air. What the hell just happened?




It was Friday evening before Christmas ball, they all had eaten dinner and now they were walking back to the common room. The castle was decorated in Christmas ornaments and finally there was snow outside.


Remus looked at James and Lily, they walked in front of everybody, and James’s hand was wrapped around Lily’s waist. Since Lily agreed to go out with him they were officially together. They were followed by Alex and Sirius, they just walked beside each other, but Remus noticed that their palms touched from time to time, Remus smiled. But it looked like Peter is not noticing anything that happened around him, he just walked with his eyes glued to the floor.


“Miss Watson,” they were stopped by professor McGonagall who hurried towards them, “Wait up, I need to talk to you.” Everybody froze, because the last time when professor McGonagall needed to speak with Alex, she delivered very bad news.


“What’s happened professor?” Alex asked nervously and stepped towards the professor.


“Nothing serious, no need to worry,” McGonagall answered, “Please come to my office, we will not be disturbed there.” Alex just quickly looked back at her friends and followed professor down the corridor.



She was nervous because once again there was a feeling that something bad had happened. Alex patiently sat in McGonagall’s office and waited for the news that someone else had died. She bit her lip, no, she didn’t wanted to hear that kind of news.


Professor McGonagall looked through a pile of parchments until she found what she was looking for. She placed the parchment in front of her and started to study it. After a while she looked up at Alex.


“I see that you have signed up to stay in Hogwarts at Christmas,” Alex didn’t understood how it is related to anything.


“Yes, professor,” she answered, “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand…”


“Today I received a letter that Monday is the reading to your aunt’s last will and testament,” Alex was surprised. “Your presence is mandatory, so you will leave to London together with the rest of the students on Sunday.”


Alex looked at her hands who was folded in her lap, she had forgotten about the last will and testament. Alex felt a knot in her chest because memories from the week in France came back running.


“Miss Watson?” McGonagall asked, Alex realized that she wasn’t listening for a while.


“I’m sorry,” Alex returned to reality.


“I just wanted to know, if you will manage to get to France from London?”


“Yes, professor,” she nodded, traveling from the Leaky Cauldron to France was way too familiar.


“Very well then I will take you out from the list,” she stated and looked at the parchment.


“Professor,” Alex stopped mid-sentence, because she didn’t knew how to explain that she didn’t wanted to stay in France for whole holidays. “Is there a possibility that I can stay on the list? Because I wasn’t planning on spending holidays at home,” Alex hoped for the best.


“Fine,” McGonagall finally agreed. “You can return the same way… you did last time,” she added cheerlessly. Alex felt tears in her eyes.


“Do you want a cookie?” McGonagall pointed at a large cookie box on her table. “Professor Dumbledore gifts them to me time to time,” Alex looked at the cookies puzzled, then she looked at McGonagall and the again at cookies.


“No, thank you professor,” Alex said feeling completely out of space and time.


“Then you can go,” McGonagall nodded and returned to her pile of parchments. Alex stood up and went to the door, then she stopped.


“Professor,” she asked silently, McGonagall looked at her and she continued, “Can I not go to the Christmas Ball tomorrow?” she had no desire to get ready and act happy tomorrow.


“Christmas Ball is a great place to spend time with students you don’t see every day and try to know them better,” she pinched her lips, “and it is very possible that the ball will make you think about something more cheerful than today’s news. So I am planning to see you there tomorrow.”


“Fine,” Alex felt melancholy, “Good night then professor,” Alex left McGonagall’s office and walked back to the common room. Just a couple of stay tears fell over her cheeks while she was walking.


Marauders and Lily sat at the common room and waited for Alex to return.


“What happened?” It was Sirius’s voice who asked the question when she climbed through the portrait hole. She didn’t answer, just sat on the couch next to Lily and James.


“I will have to go to France,” Alex stared at the flames in the fireplace, she didn’t wanted to meet Sirius’s eyes, actually nobody’s eyes. “I’m leaving Sunday with an Express.”


“Did somebody died again?” she heard someone silence Peter’s question.


“No, nobody had died again,” she answered dryly, she felt how everybody shot a glance at Peter. “Monday is the reading of my aunt’s last will and testament, I have to be there.”


Alex felt how Lily put her hand on Alex’s knee, but she had no strength to react or answer. She had a feeling that her black hole from which Sirius had pulled her out is lurking nearby.


“When you will be back?” Sirius asked softly.


“I don’t know,” and then Alex remembered that Sirius also had signed up to stay at school, so that Alex wouldn’t be bored because the rest of them was going home. “I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”


She stood up and left without looking at anybody, Alex perfectly knew that nobody bought her lies, but she really wanted to be alone right now.




“Alex we will be late,” Lily nervously shouted, “we have to meet the guys downstairs in ten minutes.”


“Lily, just go,” Alex looked at Lily who wore a beautiful dark blue dress, she looked stunning, and James most definitely will be amazed. “I will join you later, don’t wait for me.” Lily shook her head, but Alex really didn’t wanted to rush.


“Fine, but please do hurry, I don’t want for you to miss the ball,” she pointed out and left the room.


Now Alex was alone in the room, she sat on the bed and put on some make-up. Her thoughts had changed during the day, she realized that she couldn’t waste the dresses that her aunt had bought her. Alex still didn’t wanted to go to the ball, but this was some sort of way to dress up and honour her aunt, so she did it anyways.


After finishing her make-up Alex stood up and walked to the mirror, she curled her hair to later pin them up and make a nice hairdo. When she was satisfied with her hair Alex took off her oversized T-shirt and looked at her naked body. It was covered with scars and bruises, she took her wand and tried to salvage anything she could.


Finally she was dressed and ready, she walked down to the Great Hall. She stopped at the Entrance Hall and looked through the doors to the Great Hall, it was full of students and professors. She sighed and stepped inside. Here comes nothing.



For at least dozen times this evening Lily had promised to Sirius that Alex would come to the ball, but he still wasn’t sure. Sirius stood by one of the many tables in the Great Hall and tapped his fingertips on it. His glance followed James and Lily as they danced, they looked so happy. Remus and Peter had left to spike the punch, but they were gone for a long time. Sirius hoped that they are not caught, because then they all will be punished.


After a couple of minutes Remus and Peter returned, bringing him a glass of spiked punch. “Somebody already had spiked it,” Remus announced, “so it turned out to be a little bit too strong.” Sirius sipped the drink and almost spat it back in the glass, felt like he was tasting pure alcohol, but he knew very well that he would most definitely drink it.


Sirius looked across the hall trying to find Alex, but she was not here. He looked at the dance floor, professor Dumbledore danced with professor McGonagall and professor Slughorn with professor Sprout. Everybody knew that the real party will start when the most of the professors will leave.


“Sirius,” he happily turned around hoping to meet Alex’s honey brown eyes, “would you like to dance?” But it was Megan, he was disappointed.


“No,” he shook his head, “not tonight.” Megan looked a little bit sad, but still smiled a little bit. Apparently Megan too understood that Sirius’s “not tonight” actually meant “never”.


He turned back and once again scanned the Great Hall, Alex still wasn’t nowhere to find.


“When you will finally tell her how you really feel?” Remus asked very quietly, so that no one can overhear their conversation, but it was so loud there that it would be quite difficult.


Sirius took a sip from his glass and continued to scan the room. “Yes,” was the only thing he said not even looking at Remus. Actually tonight Sirius was planning to ask Alex out on a real date, but he didn’t wanted to talk about it, because he was afraid that he didn’t have guts to do that.


“Guys, you have to come and dance,” it was Lily who ran to the table with James on her heels. “I hope you are not planning on standing here all evening.”


James whispered something in Lily’s ear and disappeared in the crowd, Sirius looked at Lily who was blushed from dancing. He was so happy for his friends, James and Lily were meant to be together, especially after events in the common room which had changed everything.


Sirius saw how James tried to get through the crowd with drinks in his arms, Sirius quickly downed his current drink to take a new one from James. He was already reaching for the drink when heard James speaking.


“Wow…” Sirius looked at James which stared across the Great Hall, Remus looked in the same direction with a face full of worry. Sirius turned and tried to find what they are looking at.


Alex stood by exactly the same table across the hall, but she was alone. Sirius realized that James (excuse me but he has a girlfriend) wasn’t the only one who stared at Alex with a dull look on his face.


Alex wore dark red dress that hugged her body perfectly, the cut of the dress revealed her naked back, and in the hall full of hormonal teenage boys that was very dangerous combination. She had long, white gloves on, her hair was in a perfect up-do. Her lips was painted with the same colour as dress dark red lipstick, she looked gorgeous and perfect.


Alex looked like a movie star from especially luxurious muggle movie that Sirius had probably seen at the Potters. She was the most beautiful girl in all the Great Hall, well at least for Sirius. He suddenly remembered the 1st September, when he had thought that Alex wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the school, now he understood how wrong he had been.


Sirius and the half of the Great Hall looked at Alex, she just stood by her table, and it didn’t looked like she even wants to be here. After a moment seventh year Ravenclaw Quidditch player walked to Alex and passed her a drink. Sirius suspiciously observed them, after a while Ravenclaw left and Alex was alone again. Sirius wanted to go and punch that bastard into next century, but he did nothing.


Sirius continued to observe Alex, she drank the punch and didn’t even reacted to how strong it was. Sirius remembered how Alex drank the firewhiskey at the Three Broomsticks, she could hold her liquor good, he smiled.


“I will go and get her,” Remus was the first to speak after they all spotted Alex.


Remus returned with Alex by her arm after a little while. Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off of her, she just looked amazing. A little voice in his head suggested to steal Alex away from everyone and just leave, but he knew that he couldn’t do that. And that’s why Sirius remained standing by the table with a drink in his hand.


Evening went fine, but Sirius still wasn’t able to pull himself together to ask Alex to dance. But his time was running out pretty fast.


“Let’s go dance,” he just simply said and took her by the hand, not letting her object.


They walked to the middle of dance floor, Sirius pulled her closer to him and put his hand around her waist, they started to dance. Alex smelled amazing – like chocolate and vanilla. Alex’s head rested on his chest while they were dancing. Sirius didn’t wanted for this moment to end. He gently caressed Alex’s cheek and gently touching her chin pulled her head upwards to look into those magnificent honey brown eyes.

A/N: I have probably seen "Moulin Rouge" way too many times, so some of you might see the inspiration for Alex's dress and look.

Chapter 8: Christmas
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Alex was able to read everything that he wanted to say to her in Sirius’s eyes, he didn’t need to speak, she knew that a lot of things had changed. Alex couldn’t look away from Sirius, he looked so handsome in his perfectly tailored suit.


“You look stunning tonight,” he said. Alex looked into his perfectly grey eyes and was lost for words, she didn’t wanted for this moment to end.


“You look great too,” she smiled. “I must admit I’ve been wrong,” Sirius raised his eyebrow, “you are more amazing than I thought.”


Sirius smiled his most charming smile. “Thank You, Watson,” he smirked a little bit.


“No problem, Black,” Alex couldn’t resist and gave him a small smirk too. She felt Sirius’s hand playing with the dress’s hem on her back, he traced his fingers on her back where it became bare. Alex remembered events in the passageway from the Honeydukes and blushed a little bit. She remembered how actually she didn’t wanted to stop Sirius, but now it was too late.


Alex’s hand rested on Sirius’s chest, she felt how hard his heart was beating. Sirius gently touched her bare back and Alex felt how his heart started to beat even faster. She felt the goosebumps on her back and pressed even more to Sirius’s body.


“It is hard to keep myself in check if you are wearing a dress like this,” Sirius said without breaking the eye contact.


“What is wrong with my dress?” Alex raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Here are a bunch of girls which are wearing more provocative dresses than I am,” she smirked.


“What other girls?” Sirius whispered when he pressed his lips to her ear. Alex couldn’t resist and smiled.


“You know what, past month and a half has changed a lot of things,” Sirius said more seriously looking in her eyes. “And you can’t deny it.”


Alex knew it perfectly that past month and a half was great. Sirius was her shelter, and she had no clue how to thank him for that. He always found the right words to calm her down, and he knew how to put her to sleep. Before Alex even didn’t knew that she could sleep so deep, peacefully and long. His cuddles were magical.


“Yes, I can’t deny it,” she agreed.


“I think it is completely obvious,” suddenly he was seriousness himself, “that our feelings towards each other haven’t gone anywhere,” Alex knew that Sirius spoke the truth.


“What would you say if we went out on a real date?” Sirius finally asked.


“And what will happen after you get bored with me?” Alex couldn’t hide her uncertainty.


“What else should I do to prove to you that you can trust me?” Sirius very calmly but sadly asked.


Sirius didn’t need to do anything more, Alex trusted him completely, she just couldn’t overcome her fears.


“I don’t know,” she said quietly, Alex didn’t wanted to confess that she is just afraid. Sirius gently grabbed her chin and leaned in to kiss Alex, their lips touched, Alex felt how her knees get weak, she moaned and pulled back. “Sorry…”


Alex turned around and rushed out of the Great Hall, she didn’t wanted to see her friend’s faces. She could’ve bet that they were watching her and Sirius. And she didn’t turn back to see Sirius’s face, because it would probably made her heart break. She just rushed away to hide in her bedroom.




It was Christmas Eve and Alex sat on the stone bannisters in the courtyard of aunt Radella mansion. No, her own mansion, because aunt had left her everything she owned. Wind was blowing and it was cold, but Alex didn’t mind. She looked over the bannisters where down below sea crashed against the cliff.


Alex hugged her legs, she put the chin on her knees and continued to think. Last couple of days Alex spent thinking about what will happen, what exactly she was feeling, what she would like to feel and things that she would like not to confess to herself.


Alex thought about the conversation she had with Lily on the Hogwarts Express couple of days ago. Lily was definitely right, Alex needed to confess her feelings to Sirius or just let him go, there was no other way. Lily wasn’t the smartest witch of their year for no reason.


She thought about the mansion which now belonged to her. Alex decided to keep it, because that meant that she would have a place to stay after graduating Hogwarts, and money will come in handy too. That meant that Alex is free from her family, there was possibility that she would never need to see them again.


She thought about Sirius and how he just got cold “See you later” when she left for the Express, she remembered how he stood in the common room and looked devastated. Sirius didn’t deserve anything like that, Alex was so unfair and she knew that very well.


Alex thought about Lily and James who looked like the happiest people she knew. They were made for each other, she was happy for her friends. Alex easily could imagine that Lily would marry James and they will have a bunch of kids where boys would look like James and girls like little Lily’s. Alex smiled and continued to observe the sea.


She thought about Sirius, how he so selflessly helped her. How actually he was the only one who could help her and he did that. Sirius carried her all the way back from Hogsmeade when Slytherins had attacked her. He fought away all the sadness and nightmares when her aunt had died.


She thought about Remus which she loved like a brother. Remus was someone she could lean on about things that nobody understood. Remus knew all her secrets and she knew his. Alex remembered how they tried to be together and smiled a bittersweet smile. Yes, Remus was amazing, but they both understood that they are meant just for friendship.


Alex thought about what a heartbreaker was Sirius who tried to eat a face off of almost every girl in Hogwarts, probably had sex with at least half of them. How she had to comfort all those Gryffindor girl whose hearts he had broken. She thought about what Sirius was… Was… Sirius was…


Alex suddenly straighten herself like she was struck by lightning. Last time Alex saw Sirius with some girl was at the first visit to Hogsmeade and it was in October. And last time she had to comfort some girl was at the first day of this school year.


“Holy shit!” Alex gasped and jumped to her feet, she ran inside the house and went to her bedroom. She grabbed a bag from her bed, she hadn’t even bothered to unpack it, and hurried downstairs to the kitchen, she told her house elf Esme that she would be back at Easter holidays and stepped inside the fireplace, she threw in some Floo powder and said “The Leaky Cauldron”.


From The Leaky Cauldron she apparated to the Hogsmeade, which now looked like a scene from some postcard. It was full of snow and very quiet, looked like houses was drowning in the snow. It was late and there was not a soul on the streets, Alex sneaked in the Honeydukes and using passageway hurried to the castle.


Alex almost run to the common room, reaching it she straight went for the boys bedrooms. Without a knocking Alex barged in the Sirius’s bedroom.



Sirius laid in his bed and was bored out of his mind. For a couple of days he waited for Alex to return, because he didn’t let himself believe that Alex would not return back for whole holidays. He even started to read one of Remus’s muggle novels because he couldn’t find anything better to do.


He remembered how he asked Alex out on the date, but she still couldn’t trust him. Alex probably thought that Sirius needs her just for fun, that was far from true. It hurt a lot but he was not ready to give up.


He was not interested in other girls anymore because Alex was all he wanted, it made difficult to be in the common room, because there always was someone who wanted his attention. That is why the most of the time he spent in the boy’s bedroom.


He threw the book on the floor because he couldn’t concentrate any more on the plot. He looked over the empty room. Boy’s bedroom just like any other boy’s bedroom, untidy and probably stinks of old socks. Beds, floor and rest of everything was covered with dirty clothes, opened books, sweet wrappings, butterbeer bottles and loose parchments.


Sirius sat up and signed, he thought that maybe it was time to clean up all this rubbish. He started with the most obvious garbage collecting, it took just a couple of minutes, but room already looked better, but overall it still looked untidy. Sirius was almost sure that house elves was avoiding their room or just came here very rarely, because he didn’t believe that they could made this mess in just a couple of days.


He threw all the clothes in one pile by the door, because there was no way that even one piece of clothing could be wearable once again, he hoped that elves would wash these clothes. Then he collected all books, parchments and loose papers and put them in Remus’s bed.


It was late already and it was dark outside, but Sirius didn’t wanted to stop, and there was nothing better to do at this moment. He sat on Remus’s bed and sorted all the papers. There was a pile of parchments that was no more necessary and needed to be thrown out, library books which was long overdue, homeworks that were unfinished or rewritten on other parchments and long ago handed in.


Sirius sorted James’s and Remus’s magic history notes, when he found a letter which once was drenched in some kind of liquid, because now it was crumpled up. On the back of the envelope was black wax seal with a sphinx on it. Sirius turned the envelope around to see to whom it was addressed. It was Alex’s. Why would a letter addressed to Alex be here in their bedroom? Only explanation was Remus if Alex had given him this letter.


Apparently the letter was from her family. He turned it over, the seal was broken. Sirius hesitated, his fingers traced the wax seal and he wasn’t sure if this would be a good thing to read it. Finally he threw it back to the pile of papers, but still kept looking at it.


He was already reaching out for the letter to take it, when bedroom doors swung open and Alex rushed inside still wearing her coat and scarf, carrying her bag. Sirius jumped to his feet surprised by such an intrusion. Alex threw her bag on the pile of dirty clothes, coat and scarf followed the bag and rushed towards him.


Alex threw herself onto Sirius, her arms wrapped around Sirius’s neck and their lips touched. Just a half a second was needed for Sirius to understand what is happening and to answer Alex’s kiss. He hugged Alex and couldn’t believe what was happening. After the passionate kiss Alex pulled a little bit back from Sirius.


“I’m so sorry,” she whispered still pressing her forehead to his.


“For what exactly?” he asked quietly. “Because the kiss wasn’t that terrible.” He smirked, Sirius held Alex because he had no desire to let go of this Alex – Alex who wanted him.


“I’m sorry because I acted horrible, because you just got cold “see you later”, because I didn’t agree to go on a date with you, because I made you believe that I don’t trust you, because I used you when my aunt died, because I was… unfair,” she said all that in one breath, as if she was scared that otherwise she couldn’t say all those things.


They looked each other in the eyes, Sirius was surprised that Alex said all of this, he didn’t expected for her to confess to any of this.


“But to be honest,” she said without breaking the eye contact, “I actually do not want to talk right now.” And she took off her sweater revealing that underneath she had only her bra. Sirius wanted to say something but Alex was quicker, she kissed him before he could mutter a word.


Sirius picked her up and laid her on the bed, climbing on top of her, he kissed her neck and shoulders while Alex ran her hands through his hair. Sirius took off his shirt, he looked at Alex in disbelief, this was too good.


They kissed like there was no tomorrow. Sirius touched her soft body, and everywhere she touch him he felt fire and ice burning together. He hadn’t felt anything like this ever before, his head started to spin, Sirius knew too well that soon he would stop controlling himself.


Alex pushed him on his back and climbed on top of him. Sirius cupped her face with his hands, he couldn’t believe how beautiful and wild she was. Alex slowly started to undo his pants, he gently stopped her and looked into her honey brown eyes.


“Are you sure about that?” he asked cursing himself in his mind for even asking this question. Alex just smiled devilishly and continued to undo his pants.




Sirius observed how the first rays of sunlight entered the room and played on the walls and ceiling. It was Christmas morning and it has finally stopped snowing. He looked to his right where Alex slept peacefully and he smiled. Alex laid pressing against his side and her head was resting on his chest. Best Christmas ever.


There was no comparing this morning to all the other mornings when Alex spent the nights in his bed. Now they were naked and completely surrendered to each other, and this time Alex didn’t try to get away as soon as possible.


Sirius kissed her forehead and she shifted a little bit. She moved her head and opened one eye, then she closed it and pretended to be asleep.


“I thought that you promised me that it would never happen again,” Sirius said quietly, stroking her hair.


“What exactly?” Alex asked with her eyes still closed.


“You jumping my bones,” Sirius couldn’t resist and smiled, he even chuckled a little bit.


“And I thought that you don’t even want that – me jumping your bones,” she answered and also smiled. Alex lifted her head and prompting herself up on one elbow kissed Sirius.


“Do you still don’t want that?” she asked almost not breaking their kiss.


“Oh, shut up,” he smirked and rolled her on back. Sirius’s hands travelled all over Alex’s body which now was like drugs for him. Sirius loved how she kissed, there was no words to describe that.


“It is not like I don’t want to spend whole day in bed with you,” Alex spoke between Sirius’s kisses, “but I would like to eat something, because I can’t remember when I ate last time.” She smiled and tried to get out of the bed.


Sirius didn’t wanted to let her go, but Alex was agile and she was right, breakfast would be just the thing he needed. Sirius followed her with eyes while she looked for her clothes on the floor, then she stepped in front of the mirror and looked at her naked body.


“You know what, it’s definitely true what other boys say about you,” Sirius spoke looking at Alex’s reflection in the mirror, she raised an eyebrow and looked at Sirius through the mirror.


“And what are they saying?” she looked surprised.


“That you can drive mad every boy to whom you sleep with and that you are amazing in bed, and that you are a little bit crazy in a good way,” Sirius confessed.


“Interesting…” Alex turned to Sirius and said it in a very thoughtful way. “Can I take a shower here?” she asked, sounded like Alex is amused about something.


“Yeah, of course,” he just waved his hand towards the bathroom. “What is so interesting?”


Alex walked to the bathroom, but before entering it she stopped and looked over her shoulder. “That last night was my first time,” she smiled and closed the door behind her back.



She stood in the shower and let the water fall over her body, she smiled like an idiot. She couldn’t believe that she lost her virginity to Sirius Black. Actually she smiled just because there was a bunch of girls who had thought the same thing, but she didn’t mind.


Alex stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Water still dripped from her hair when she went back to the Sirius’s bedroom. He sat on the bed and unwrapped his Christmas presents, she had forgotten that this was Christmas morning. Sirius stood up and came to Alex when she returned from the bathroom.


“Are you okay?” he asked gently, brushing some wet hair strands from her face. He looked concerned.


“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Alex was a little bit confused.


“Well because yesterday… your first time,” Alex was surprised that Sirius was lost for words. She looked in his eyes and smiled.


“Everything is fine,” she said. “I’m great,” she smiled widely and kissed Sirius.


“Why didn’t you said anything?” Sirius asked in surprise.


“Well…” Alex didn’t know what to say exactly. “Because there really wasn’t a right moment,” she smiled guilty.


Alex took her bag, put that on James’s bed and tried to find something to wear. She felt Sirius’s gaze on her body. She was almost dressed when she heard Sirius’s question.


“Alex, can you please tell me why your family hates you?” Alex froze. She didn’t expect a question like that and she didn’t wanted to talk about it. Alex took a comb and went to the mirror, she started to comb her wet hair, trying to come up with an answer to that question.


“They just don’t need me,” she answered trying not to look at Sirius. “I’m not smart, good, and useful enough for them, they don’t need me the way I am.”


She put a comb back into bag and went to the window. She looked outside to the beautiful Christmas morning and felt sad, because only person who was her family and loved her was gone. Alex felt how Sirius stood behind her, he hugged her by the waist from behind.


“I know how you feel,” he whispered in her ear. “My family also doesn’t need me.”


At that moment Alex felt even closer to Sirius than before. She knew that Sirius doesn’t have good relationships with his family, and that’s why they both understood each other on a completely different level.




All the Christmas and days until the New Year they spent together. They casually laid on the couches in the common room or studied together, sometimes they went outside to the yard and dive into snowball fights for hours, but all the evenings and nights they spent in the Sirius’s bed. Alex was happy and she liked it.


She had a feeling that only thing that was missing in her life so far was Sirius. Because now she felt so much better than she did at the beginning of the term, and that was the time when she felt like everything was as good as it comes. Blue circles beneath her eyes were gone, there was no more insomnia and no more nightmares. Everything was good.


Alex was going back to the common room from the library, she carried a pile of books, because she had promised herself to master wordless spells as good as she could. She planned her tasks that she needed to accomplish, when some voice stopped her.


“Hey, Watson, where are you hurrying at this late hour of evening?” Alex stopped and turned around, of course it was Regulus.


“None of your business,” she snapped, Regulus went straight to her, she wanted to take out her wand because she didn’t trusted him, but books couldn’t let her do it.


“Maybe you are up to something,” he now stood right in front of her, “then there would be possibility for some detention.”


“Oh, just leave me alone already,” Alex turned to leave but Regulus grabbed her by the elbow, she instinctively dropped her books and whipped out her wand pointing it straight to his face.


“Nobody saw who cursed me last time, so you all got out of it without a punishment, but this time this will not happen,” Alex was angry. Once again he tried to do something to her.


Regulus stepped back, but it didn’t seemed that he was scared. “You wouldn’t dare,” he said quietly and smiled.


“Do you want to bet?” she asked, her eyes were shooting daggers at him, she was ready, because this was it, she was sick and tired of this teasing. “Or do you want to have another body part to be broken?”


“Stop it,” she heard Sirius’s voice behind her back. At first she thought that Sirius was talking to her, but then she realized it was meant for Regulus.


“Oh, so you can speak,” Regulus smirked arrogantly. It was true, Alex had never heard Sirius speaking to his brother. Usually someone else from Marauders spoke to him, but never Sirius.


“I’m going to say it once and only once,” Sirius stood between Alex and Regulus, he was much taller than his younger brother. He looked down to Regulus and it made him look more authoritative. “Leave Alex alone,” Sirius’s voice was full of anger and rigor.


“Like you can tell me what to do,” Regulus almost spat those words towards Sirius. Sirius was mad, his palms formed into fists.

Alex realized that Sirius and Regulus was so similar but so different at the same time. This realization scared her because she never thought about that. She had doubts that this conversation could end very badly.


“Sirius, let’s go,” she tried to avert the catastrophe which was waiting to happen, she felt the growing anger between them. “Sirius…” she repeated.


Finally Sirius moved, but not to leave, he punched Regulus in face. Regulus fell down and grabbed his face, there was blood dripping from his face. Sirius just picked up Alex’s books and left, Alex followed.


All the way to the boy’s bedrooms she didn’t dared to say anything, she also didn’t knew what to say, because this situation was very complicated. But she knew that they needed to talk about that. When Sirius entered the room, he put books down on James’s bed and turned to Alex. In two steps he closed the distance between them and pushed her against the door.


Alex was confused, she didn’t understood what was happening. Sirius boxed her in with his arms, she felt his chest vibrating in anger, she looked in his eyes but they were calm, they weren’t angry he just looked worried. She opened her mouth to say something, but Sirius kissed her.


This kiss wasn’t sweet and playful like his kisses usually were, but this was aggressive and demanding. She felt how Sirius is trying to take her sweater off, they didn’t even managed to get to the Sirius’s bed, all the books were tossed on the floor and they laid down in James’s bed.

Chapter 9: Reveal
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Christmas break was coming to an end and Sirius was determined to finally clean the boys' bedroom. House elves had washed and folded all the clothes that he left on the floor, and now they neatly laid in their closet. Pile of garbage had also disappeared and the room looked much better, but still there was a pile of parchments and books on Remus’s bed.


Sirius was ready to finally finish sorting all the papers, because Alex was studying in her room and he now had a free afternoon to do that. He sat on the Remus’s bed and picked up couple of papers. And the he saw once again the letter addressed to Alex, he had completely forgotten about that.


He picked it up, Sirius knew that reading the letter would be unfair towards Alex, but something inside him made him do it. He bit his lip and touched the broken seal on the letter.


Then he opened the envelope and took the letter out. He slowly unfolded it and looked at it. Letter was once soaked and the big part of words was disappeared from parchment. He looked at the top of the letter and saw there October’s date. The letter was sent to Alex on October’s full moon. That was the same day he saw Alex and Remus together on the bench by the lake.


That explained the fact how letter ended up in their bedroom. Sirius looked at the handwriting that was very neat and calligraphic, it was written presumably by Alex’s mother because the last name of the sender was the same as Alex’s.


Still unsure of his actions Sirius started to read the letter, at least the parts which still was readable. It wasn’t long, so there was just some words and phrases remaining on the parchment.


…today we wanted to remind you…you are not… we are ashamed… your fault… your brother would never got in a situation… we expected great things from you… ruined all our dreams… disgrace to our family… you will not accomplish anything… your fault that you are a werewolf… suggest to spend Christmas at school… such a disappointment…


Sirius with wide eyes looked at word “werewolf”. Alex is a werewolf?! No fucking way! He reread the part “your fault that you are a werewolf” again and again, he realized that his hands were shaking. He put the letter back on the bed and stood up, he started to pace around the room.


How it was possible that Alex was a werewolf? How he hadn’t notice that? He himself ran around with a werewolf every month, possibly that was the reason he hadn’t notice that there was another werewolf in this school. Sirius stopped and scratched his head, he was so confused.


He was pleasantly surprised that Alex had hidden it so well from others, but on the other hand… Alex was very mysterious. All those late night walks around the castle, late night snacking in the kitchens, skipping classes – it all made it much simpler for her. Nobody wouldn’t notice her disappearing once a month if she did that at least once a week.


And suddenly everything fell into place, Sirius even smiled a little. That’s why Alex had bruises and scratches all over her body, that’s why she sometimes looked more tired than other days, that’s why she was so strong. Because in all of these years which he spend with the Marauders and they had gotten into some fights with Slytherins and amongst themselves, only James had broken his nose no matter how many hits he had gotten. And Alex did it without even trying.


Sirius sat on the bed and resting his elbows on knees grabbed his head. Alex was a werewolf and nobody knew that, well, Remus probably knew. Now Sirius understood why Remus had protected Alex so much. He knew about Alex. And that probably was the reason why Alex and Remus didn’t stay together but decided to become friends instead. They could understood each other the way nobody could.


Sirius wasn’t sure that Alex was a werewolf all her life, because in that case he would have noticed something. Sirius stood up once again, he realized something – at the end of the fourth year Alex was ill for a very long time, a couple of months at least, he now remembered that. There was a talk that she wouldn’t be able to finish that year, but she still did it. That must have been the time when she was bitten, and that’s why Sirius hadn’t noticed anything because in the fifth year he finally became animagus and he was out running all around with Remus.


Sirius grabbed the letter and read it once again. Alex’s family hated her just because she was a werewolf. They didn’t needed her when she was like this. Sirius felt disgusted, what kind of parents push away their child after something like that. And they blamed Alex for that. Sirius didn’t believe that Alex was guilty whatsoever, but he didn’t knew the story and all the facts.


Sirius chuckled because Alex’s family reminded him so much of his own. Now he understood Alex much better. He put the letter back into envelope and then threw it into his trunk, and then returned to the rest of the papers on Remus’s bed.


Sirius had just finished sorting all the papers, books and parchments and sat on his own bed, when Alex stepped in the room. She had torn jeans, simple sweater and Chuck Taylors on, her hair was soft and wavy as always, she smiled her usual joyful smile and her eyes radiated warmth. Sirius didn’t gave a damn that she was a werewolf. She was amazing.


“I’m starving like a wolf,” Sirius laughed about her choice of words while she continued to come to him, “pleeeeeeese, let’s go to dinner.” She sat on top of him and pushed Sirius on his back. He instinctively put his hands on her sides and breathed in her smell before she leaned in and kissed him.


When Alex kissed him it was like he had never kissed another girl before, every time it felt like his first kiss. He adored that Alex made him feel that way.


“You know what,” he said when they finished kissing, “tomorrow we should go out on the proper date, because day after tomorrow everybody is returning from holidays.”


“Do you have any suggestions about the date already?” she smiled mischievously.


“We could sneak out to Hogsmeade and spend the day there,” Sirius suggested knowing that Alex really liked the village, “and in the evening we could smuggle in some firewhiskey and get drunk?” he asked rising his eyebrows.


“Sounds perfect,” she smiled widely and kissed him again. “But please can we go and eat now?” Alex was already dragging him to the door, Sirius laughed because he knew why Alex could eat so much, she was werewolf.




They were in the Three Broomsticks, Sirius had ordered drinks and dinner. It was Saturday’s evening and pub was full of people. Under the table were some bags that testified to the great day they had spent. It was really amazing.


Now he observed Alex who sat opposite of him and looked out the window. It was snowing all day, at this moment snow fell with big and heavy snowflakes. Alex’s elbows was on the table and she held her hands. Unconsciously she bit her index finger, that amused Sirius, but he didn’t wanted to laugh out loud, because that would mean that Alex would probably stop doing that.


Alex was wearing Christmas sweater which Sirius had bought despite all her protests. And that’s the reason why he sat there wearing “ugly” Christmas sweater which Alex had bought him saying that she would wear hers only if he had his own.


Alex’s hair was in the bun, but couple of disobedient hair strands fell on her face, her cheeks were blushed from all the walking outside, but she looked cute. Sirius liked that Alex always looked great with or without make-up.


If he didn’t knew better, he would be convinced that Alex is a goddess who has decided to live on this earth. And based on this alone everyone should adore her. But… in Sirius’s eyes she was a goddess.


“How are we going to tell everybody that we are together?” Alex interrupted Sirius’s train of thoughts. “Because I assume that we are together right?” she smirked.


Sirius laughed. “I don’t know how to announce that,” he continued to laugh. “But I believe that everyone is expecting that – we getting together.”


“You are right,” Alex also laughed. “Oh, shit!” she suddenly exclaimed, like she had just remembered something very important that she had forgotten.


“What happened?” Sirius jumped and looked around startled.


“Almost all of the schools handsome guys now are taken, damn it, what will happen now amongst the girls, they will have to hang out some kind of flags of sorrow,” she shook her head.


“You and Remus were the last eligible bachelors in Gryffindor, oh, poor Remus,” she continued. “And Scott and Wells from Ravenclaw is also taken, and Smith from Hufflepuff also.” She threw her hands in the air.


“Only Whitfield and Dale from Hufflepuff is free for grabs, but both Slytherins – Downey and Haywood is taken,” she kept on talking. “This is going to be the tragedy of century when girls will find out that you are now in a relationship.”


Sirius got scared from enthusiasm in her voice and that she knew that kind of things about the rest of the guys from school. He had thought that Alex wasn’t interested in things like that or gossip.


“Wait,” he stopped her, “how do you know all of that?”


“Sirius,” she spoke very seriously, “first, I am a girl and I have no problems whatsoever with my eyesight, and second, I am no fool. I see to which boys girls stick like flies to honey and I notice how these guys treat girls,” she pointedly looked at Sirius. “And almost all of named guys play Quidditch, which means that if they are not at least perfectly good-looking, then they are still perfectly desirable.”


Sirius started to feel a little bit weirded out, Alex had noticed a lot of small things and she had remembered all of that and she most definitely could put that all in one picture. She really saw what everybody else just didn’t notice.


“Okay,” he said with a nervous look on his face. “Now I am officially scared of you.”


Alex just winked at him and gave him a half smile. Drinks came and Sirius sipped his firewhiskey, the more he thought the more he realized that it didn’t mattered that Alex knew which are schools most good looking or desirable guys, because right now she was here with him, she was his.


“We didn’t decide how we are going to tell our friends about us,” Alex simply said. It wasn’t a question she just stated a fact. Sirius just shrugged his shoulders.


They ate dinner and went back to school using the passageway beneath the Honeydukes. All evening and most of the night they spent drinking firewhiskey and talking. It was almost morning when they fell asleep in Sirius’s bed.



She felt Sirius’s lips on the back of her head, he kissed her gently. They moved from back of the head to her neck, Alex felt goosebumps all over her body, she shivered. Sirius’s touches was a mixture of ice and fire, they were very arousing.


She turned her body and looked into Sirius’s alluring grey eyes. His mouth curved into a smile, they both had just woken up. Alex let him pull herself closer, she adored the feeling how Sirius’s muscular torso pressed against her body, and it made her feel safe. She slowly kissed Sirius, these slow mornings Alex liked the most.


They slowly discovered each other’s bodies once again like they had never done it before. Sirius slowly grabbed her hip, and Alex moaned. She ran her nails over Sirius’s back which made him chuckle a little. He grinned all over his face.


“Oh, woman, you are going to be the death of me,” he whispered while breathing out. That made Alex remember their kiss at the beginning of the school year.


Sirius’s touch burned and iced her body at the same time, she trembled from the excitement. She felt special and desirable, she had never felt that way. Alex felt beautiful, and Sirius was the only one who could make her feel like that.


Time and space was lost for both of them, Alex only knew that this wasn’t the first time when they made love today. They hadn’t left the bed and it was dark outside again.


“NO!” it was James’s voice. “Merlin’s beard, people please!” Alex heard door slamming. “Wormtail, you better don’t go in there, otherwise you will be traumatized for life like I just was,” last James’s sentence they heard when he was already going down the stairs.


Alex felt Sirius’s body vibrating in laughter, but he wasn’t laughing out loud yet. And then she heard those particular barking laughs, they were so true that Alex also started to laugh.


“What are we going to do now?” Alex asked through laughter.


“Well,” his eyes were full of mischief, “we could finish what we have started here, and then we can go downstairs where I presume we are already expected.” He laughed. Bastard.


Alex felt like that was her walk of shame. James had just caught them having sex. She had no idea what was waiting for her in the common room. She slowly followed Sirius down the stairs.


Lily, James, Remus and Peter sat by the fireplace down in the common room, she didn’t wanted to see any of them, but she had no choice. Alex looked at Lily who smirked like crazy, but was silent. Then she looked at James who looked happy and proud at the same time, Remus looked worried, but at least not angry, but Peter just looked confused.


“I hope that wasn’t just a hook up,” James spoke, “but you twos are really finally together.”


Alex suddenly couldn’t manage to put together words and form a sentence – we are together. And Sirius didn’t say anything either, this silence was wrong on so many levels.


“Padfoot?!” that was Remus who still looked way too much worried about this situation.


“Calm down mate,” Sirius finally spoke, “we are together.”


Alex shot a glance towards Remus like saying that this is fine, that he didn’t need to protect her. Remus smiled weakly but it was kind smile. Lily almost laughed from joy. And then something interesting happened, James jumped on the couch and put his hands to his mouth forming some kind of megaphone, the common room was full of students which just had returned from their holidays so he had a lot of spectators.


“Dear ladies of the Gryffindor House,” he shouted from the top of his lungs, “I am so sorry to inform you about these sad news, but two of the most desirable guys in this tower is taken.” Everybody looked at him.


“Unfortunately ladies of the Potter and Black fan club you’ll just need to put out some flags of sorrow,” Alex felt how Sirius is trying to conceal his laughter while James spoke. “But have no worries, here is charming Remus Lupin who likes long walks by the lake, muggle novels and he would never say no to the Honeydukes chocolate, and also…”


“Shut up, Prongs!” Remus grabbed James by his shirt and dragged him down from the couch. “Just shut up!”


They all laughed. Alex noticed that some of the girls eyed Remus, she couldn’t stop laughing this situation was way too hilarious.


“You were right about those flags of sorrow,” Sirius admitted. Alex didn’t believe that James told the same thing what she had said yesterday to Sirius.


“I know that the world had turned upside down, but can we go to dinner?” Alex suggested, because she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything today.




Alex and Lily sat in the empty girl’s bedroom. Alex knew that Lily wanted to know what happened between her and Sirius, but Alex wasn’t sure if she wanted to speak about that.


“So you and Sirius?” Lily asked raising one eyebrow.




“What happened? Because the last thing I know is you rushing out of the Great Hall leaving Sirius alone in the middle of the dance floor, and your cold “see you later” the next day,” Lily apparently wanted to know what happened between then and now.


“I…” Alex wanted to say that she finally realized that she really liked Sirius, how she had returned to Hogwarts to confess her feelings to him, how she had spent the best holiday in her life, but for some unknown reasons only thing she said was something completely unrelated to her and Sirius. “…am a werewolf.”


Lily sat on her bed and exhaled. “I know,” she said. “I’m glad that you finally told me,” she smiled and looked into Alex’s eyes.


“You know?! How?” Alex was in shock. She wasn’t expecting for Lily to know. Alex expected some shock, surprise, disgust, yelling, anything, but not the fact that Lily knew.


“I concluded it in the fifth year,” Lily confessed. “You changed very much after your “illness” in the fourth year, and I gave in into my curiousness. I didn’t wanted to ask you anything and you told me nothing, so I just started to observe you until I came to only reasonable conclusion. And since then every month I am reminded that I was right.” Lily looked a little bit guilty however she had done nothing wrong.


“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex was still shocked. “And you are okay with what I am?”


“Because I felt like you had to tell me that yourself if you ever decide to tell me,” she just simply stated. Alex understood that because she remembered how it went down when she and Remus realized what they both were.


“And I am completely okay with what you are,” Lily’s smile was warm and pleasant. Alex stood up and sat next to Lily hugging her.


“I knew that there was some other reason why you are my best friend than the obvious ones,” Alex stated, they both laughed.


“Good,” Lily spoke when they hugged everything out, “but now – you and Sirius?”


“Oh,” Alex exhaled, “I had some time to think everything through, and I realized that we both like each other, and Sirius isn’t the great heartbreaker he used to be, and my heart was already broken. So what the heck, why shouldn’t we be together. And so that happened.” She shrugged her shoulders, because Alex didn’t wanted to talk about all the details and overall she had covered everything.


“Hmm,” Lily dragged out slowly with a mystic smile on her lips.


“Just stop,” Alex rolled her eyes and went back to her bed, “you’ll see that after a month he will be sick of me and my heart will probably be broken once again.”


Alex regretted that she had said that, because it was proof that she is still afraid of Sirius breaking her heart. And these fears proved that she not just fancied the heck out of Sirius, but that she was in love with him.



The phrase that James Potter yelled out in the common room about sorrow was true to the last letter. News that Sirius Black is in a relationship with Alex Watson flew across the school faster than a niffler steals some gold. About their relationship knew everyone starting from first years and ending with even professors. All the girls were shocked that Sirius could actually be in a relationship, because that meant that they weren’t the ones who did that – turned infamous Sirius Black.


Megan knew it very well that she was one of these girls, she couldn’t manage to make a boyfriend out of a heartbreaker. And it was hurtful because she was in love with Sirius since the third year. But she was just good enough for Sirius when he wanted to have fun. But she had reconcile because she never thought that Sirius could like someone that he would be ready to have a relationship with that girl.


It was two weeks into a new term and Megan was happy that professors gave them a lot of homework and tasks to accomplish, that made her not to think about Sirius and Alex way too often.


She sat by the one of the tables in the common room and studied, she was interrupted by the Marauders which just had arrived in the common room. She looked at the portrait hole and there they were all laughing probably about some prank they had just pulled.


They scattered around the common room, Peter left for the bedrooms, Remus sat in the armchair by the fireplace, James went to Lily who sat by the next table, but Sirius sat next to Alex who sat on the couch and read a book for a while now.


Megan looked how Sirius kissed Alex on the forehead and smiled. Sirius talked to Remus but he unintentionally gave attention to Alex. He held his arm on her leg or put his arm on the couch behind her back. Sirius had no need to look at Alex to tell her that he knows that she is there beside him, that he wants her near him at all times.


And Alex did the same. She read the book but time to time she casually touched his arm or his hair, or caressed his back. That was so simple and pure. Megan was jealous about what she saw. She wanted to be in Alex’s place, but she knew that she had no chance. If Sirius would like Megan half as much as he liked Alex, Megan would be in the Alex’s place a year ago.


Megan realized that Sirius and Alex is unusual couple. Not because they didn’t belong together (because they really was made for each other) but because they very rarely showed their feelings publicly. They never tried to eat each other’s faces off in the common room, they never had fights. It was possible just to see them holding hands and looking at each other, but it was obvious that they were together.


If there was a scenario when you saw them kissing (and really kissing not just doing something that your hormones told you to do) it felt like you were the witness of something very private, that you just wanted to turn away and leave, because that was just too intimate (in a good way).


And after one accident like that when Megan caught them kissing, she realized that “sorrow” is the right word for situation among other girls. Because there would not be any other girl after Alex.


Megan had already accepted this situation, because she realized that she had been fool for all these years, when she believed that Sirius would see something more in her… something that would make him want a relationship with her.


Megan actually didn’t understand fully why Sirius and Alex was such a surprise for her, because for months it was clear that there was something between them.

A/N: Just a warning, but there is possibility that there would not be another chapter for a while.


When I started to write this fic I early on decided how it will end and at what time the main events will occur, so I need to pause translations and need to tackle the writing. I need to figure out how to fill time and space with something interesting between the main events, which are already plotted out.


Plus, the fact that I am writing a sequel just because I know how this will end is not helping my situation at all. So be patient my loyal couple readers and thank you for reading!

Chapter 10: Valentine's Day
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He had skipped transfiguration to come to the Hospital wing. Professor McGonagall would be mad there was no doubt about that, but maybe he could pretend that he was sick and get a note from Madame Pomfrey. Sirius shook his head, he will think about that later, and actually he didn’t care that theoretically McGonagall could give him detention.


He stood by Remus’s bed, but not Remus was he here to see. Sirius slowly walked towards the last bed in the Hospital wing. He stopped before the curtains which covered the bed, and he didn’t even knew why he is stopping, because he saw Remus weak and sick every month after the full moon, but Alex…


He slowly moved towards the bed and looked up from the ground. He saw Alex laying in the bed, she was fast asleep. He felt sorry for her, Sirius smiled sadly, because he knew that Alex would be disappointed in him, because she didn’t need any pity, she couldn’t stand it towards herself. She looked just like Remus – tired, weak, and covered with bruises and scars.


He moved closer to the bed, he was already reaching for Alex’s hand, when he changed his mind. Sirius didn’t wanted to accidently woke Alex up, he didn’t wanted for her to find out like this that he knew.


He just gently touched blanket on her bed and left the Hospital wing, he couldn’t get caught being there. He took out the Marauders Map from his pocket and walked to the common room. Sirius’s mind was occupied with possibilities where Alex was transfiguring every full moon, because it most definitely wasn’t Shrieking Shack. And he hadn’t heard about any other scary house near Hogwarts.


When he had entered the bedroom Sirius laid down in bed and started to think everything over. His feelings about Alex wasn’t changed not in the slightest, it didn’t mattered that she was a werewolf. Still Sirius deemed that Alex was the most wonderful girl in all of Hogwarts, no in the world.


He had decided that he would let Alex herself tell him that secret (if she will decide to tell). He smiled warm smile, Alex and Remus was proof that werewolves are not terrible persons, they were one of the kindest people Sirius knew.


Sirius looked at the clock and cursed. Lunch was about to start and he was still laying in bed. He jumped up from the bed and rushed to the Great Hall.


“Padfoot, where the hell were you?” it was James who sat across of Sirius and very surprisingly looked at him. “McGonagall is going to skin you alive,” he said worryingly, Sirius knew that James was right – McGonagall hated students who skipped classes.


“Mister Black,” Sirius’s eyes widened and he turned to meet professor McGonagall’s icy stare, “Mister Potter asked a very good question, I would also like to hear an answer to that.” McGonagall crossed her arms and looked down on Sirius.


“Emm…” Sirius was stomped, because he didn’t expected to meet professor so soon. “I forgot that we had transfiguration today,” he tried to save his skin by lying, “I thought that today is Tuesday when we have free first period.”


Sirius had no idea if McGonagall believed even a word he had spoken, because her features hadn’t changed a bit. Sirius tried to smile but he couldn’t master trustworthy smile.


“The fact that your friends was in the class didn’t make you suspect that today is not Tuesday?!” McGonagall’s voice was still icy. Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but professor cut him short. “Detention, Mister Black, for the whole next week,” she said sharply and turned to walk away, “I’ll be waiting you on Monday in my office at eight o’clock.”


Sirius looked how McGonagall walked to the professor’s table. He thought that he didn’t deserve detention for a whole week, but he couldn’t change that. He turned to James who also looked shocked.


“Well that was a little bit,” James slowly spoke, “unfair, detention for a week? You just skipped one class.” James shook his head in disbelief and put some potatoes on his plate.


“So,” James spoke once again, when his plate was full of food, “where were you?”


Sirius knew way too well that he couldn’t tell the truth, but he didn’t wanted to lie either. He just shrugged, while putting chicken on his plate, “Forgot, like I said.”


It didn’t looked like James is convinced, but he didn’t investigate further.


Next day Alex returned from the Hospital wing, Sirius was determined not to show anyway that he knows about Alex’s little, fluffy problem, so he acted like nothing had happened.


“Hi,” Alex greeted Sirius while sitting down by the breakfast table and kissing him on lips, “I’m starving,” she stated and pulled food closer to herself.


Sirius smiled and watched how his girlfriend made herself huge plate of food. He almost started to laugh when he saw James’s face expression, when he saw Alex’s plate. It was clear that James’s didn’t believed that Alex could possibly eat that much.


“I didn’t think that it was so bad,” James was surprised. “You twos are sharing the same plates?”


Sirius laughed. “No, Prongs, that’s all for Alex, I already ate,” and Sirius stretched before standing up, he kissed Alex’s hair and together with the rest of Marauders left for the first class of the day, leaving Alex and Lily by the table.


While they were going to divination, Sirius suddenly stopped dead cold. He had just realized that the next full moon is on Valentine’s Day.


“Padfoot,” Remus spoke, “what’s wrong? You want to get another detention from McGonagall?”


Sirius looked at Remus completely shocked, he was just about to tell him about his revelation, when he realized that he couldn’t tell anyone. He just scratched his head and started to move without answering question. Sirius had a very big problem now.


The rest of the month of January Sirius tried to figure out how to get out of the Valentine’s Day in a way that didn’t raised any suspicions in Marauders or Alex. Turned out it was very difficult, because he assumed that his marauding days would help him come up with something brilliant, but in this case it just made more troubles for him.


He couldn’t tell Alex that he had already something planned with boys, because James being James possibly would grant him free evening so he can spend Valentine’s Day with Alex. That was no good because it involved lying to Marauders and he didn’t wanted to do that.


Nothing seemed right, because Alex herself wasn’t able to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Sirius knew that he needed to come up with something where he wasn’t able to celebrate Valentine’s Day and also help Remus in the full moon, it was way too complicated.


February was already begun and Sirius hadn’t managed to solve his problem, it started to worry him more and more. He was writing an essay in transfiguration, but he couldn’t concentrate on it, his mind was preoccupied with Valentine’s Day. Alex sat across the table and studied.


James and Lily sat by the next table and discussed how they are going to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Sirius was ready to hex them into next century every second now. He had stopped writing his essay and listened what they were talking about.


“We could celebrate Valentine’s Day at the Hogsmeade, that weekend is the next visit,” James suggested to Lily. “There is no point celebrating on Wednesday when we have homework piles and I also have quidditch practice.”


“James that’s a wonderful idea,” Lily smiled to him. “We could go to the Madam Puddifoot’s Tea Shop,” Lily added.


Sirius looked at Alex just in time see her roll her eyes glancing at James and Lily. Sirius tilted his head in question and kept looking at Alex.


“I don’t get this,” Alex said silently shaking her head.


“What?” Sirius didn’t understood, “Lily and James?”


“All this fuss about Valentine’s Day,” she explained. “There are 364 other days in the year when you can confess your feelings, but no you have to do that in this one particular day, phe.”


“You don’t like Valentine’s Day?” Sirius asked trying to sound casual, bet deep inside he felt relief creeping in. It was possible that all his problems would solve by themselves.


“Actually I don’t like any kind of festivities that much, but Valentine’s the most,” Alex looked at Lily and James who had started to kiss now. “Sorry,” she sadly pursed her lips and frowned a little, “but if you had any plans, I don’t want to hear absolutely nothing about them. It just a day and nothing more.”


“It’s fine,” Sirius smiled with relief, “we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” He reached across the table and squeezed Alex’s hand, she smiled half smile.


“Do you want me to gift you something special?” they heard James ask this to Lily.


Sirius and Alex exchanged looks and shook their heads simultaneously. “No presents, definitely not.”


With much lighter heart Sirius returned to his essay, finally he could concentrate fully to his homework. Everything was sorted out, he had no reason to worry now.



Remus had just visited Alex in the Hospital Wing, she was there for two days already. To be honest there was no point visiting her because Madam Pomfrey gave Alex sleeping potion so she can at least once a month have a good night sleep. And that was the reason why Alex was asleep when Remus visited her.


Despite the fact that Alex was asleep Remus sat by her bed for more than an hour. Now he was walking back to the Gryffindor tower, he could very well remember how Alex had looked. He couldn’t remember if he had seen Alex so banged up, her leg and arm was broken, he didn’t even wanted to remember all the countless bruises and scars, and all other cuts on her body.


Remus sadly sighed, he knew that it was possible to get all of that trauma only when mind isn’t at ease. Then in the werewolf form all the ugly mind stuff is coming out and body just can’t handle it, and there is no way to control it. Remus remembered his own full moons that were similar, and it made shiver ran down his spine.


Remus entered the bedroom and greeted everyone, he laid in his bed and took essay in herbology to reread it before handing it in. After a couple of paragraphs he realized that he couldn’t concentrate on it. His mind wondered about Alex, what could have upset Alex so much? Lately Alex was so happy, since she and Sirius were together she was just so carefree. Sirius…


“Hey, Pads, do you know where Alex is?” Remus shouted across the room.


Sirius quickly glanced at Remus and recoiled immediately. Did Remus just really saw fear and panic in Sirius’s eyes? If Sirius was worried about Remus asking where is Alex, which meant that Sirius knew.


“No,” Sirius was already smiling his simple smile, no worries in sight. “But you know Alex – she likes to be alone, and it doesn’t matter how irresistibly charming I am.” Sirius laughed his dog bark like laugh, but Sirius didn’t believed him.


“I will go downstairs to study,” Sirius stated collecting his things.


“Are you okay, Padfoot?” James asked suspiciously. “Because it is Friday evening and you are planning to study?”


“So?!” Sirius snapped walking through the doors.


Remus stayed in the room, he tried to conclude if his suspicion had a reason. If Sirius knew that Alex is werewolf, then why he acted like that… Shit, Alex doesn’t know that Sirius knows. Remus jumped to his feet and rushed out of the bedroom.


He found Sirius downstairs sitting by one of the tables, he had already buried his head in one of the books and was copying something from the book to his essay. Remus sat across from him, Sirius didn’t even looked up from the parchment, he just kept writing.


“What are you writing?” Remus carelessly asked, because he had no idea how to start a conversation about this delicate situation.


“I have to finish my essay in herbology,” Sirius simply answered still not looking up from the parchment.


“Oh,” Remus dragged out. Silence fell between both of them. Sirius just kept writing while Remus studied him. Sirius frowned way too often, and Remus knew that this particular essay wasn’t that difficult, so that was not the reason. Sirius tried to hide it, but he was unsuccessful.


“You do know that I care very greatly about Alex,” after a while Remus broke the silence.


“Like I said I have no idea where she is,” Sirius said stubbornly writing his essay.


“We haven’t seen Alex for two days, and you can peacefully sit here and do your homework?” Remus tried to get a reaction out of Sirius or a confession.


“You know Alex very well, she likes to be alone,” Sirius tried to be convincing, but Remus’s suspicion was proven by every word coming out of Sirius’s mouth.


“You know what, sometimes you can be such a bad liar that I have doubts that you can fool even some first years,” Remus sadly stated.


That caught Sirius’s attention. He finally looked at Remus. There was a blank expression on Sirius’s face for a while, and then the mask dropped, Remus saw that Sirius had given up the pretend.


“You know exactly where she is,” that wasn’t a question Remus just stated a fact.


“Yeah, I know,” a shadow of concern past through Sirius’s face. Remus realized that Sirius is hurting because he couldn’t be at the Hospital Wing right now.


“I visited her tonight, she’ll be alright,” Remus tried to assure Sirius, but he just sat in his chair and looked at Remus with painful look. “Why are you not going to her?” Remus asked.


“I can’t,” Sirius paused a little bit, “she doesn’t know that I know.” Sirius bowed his head and grabbed it with his hands. Remus felt sorry for Sirius.


“How did you find out?” Remus asked quietly.


“When I was cleaning bedroom over the Christmas holidays, I found letter addressed to Alex,” Sirius confessed.


“Yeah, I was determined to throw it out, when I took it from Alex,” Remus ran a hand through his light brown hair, “but events after that made me forget about that letter.”


Sirius laughed quietly but sadly. It felt like October’s full moon was years not just couple of months ago. A lot of things had changed since then.


“Why don’t you tell her?” Remus asked.


“Because I don’t want to scare her off,” Sirius shook his head, “I am almost certain that if I confess, then she would announce that that is the reason why we cannot be together.”


“Do you really believe that?” Remus asked in disbelief.


“I…” Sirius closed his eyes and sighed. “She has to tell me herself, I am sure of that.”


“So you don’t mind that she is, well… you know,” Remus checked that nobody is eavesdropping on their conversation.


“Of course not,” Sirius looked hurt. “Nothing can change how much I love her.”


Remus slowly started to smile, he looked at his best friend who apparently didn’t catch what exactly he just had said. Remus smiled even wider and wider, and Sirius realized what he had said.


“Damn,” Sirius slid deeper into his chair, “I really love her,” Remus heard just a little tinge of surprise in Sirius’s voice, but he was happy for him.


“But it’s a good thing,” Remus continued to smile.


“But I have never loved anyone,” Sirius looked puzzled. Remus couldn’t disagree that this was a unique case, but it wasn’t the end of the world.


“Everything’s going to be fine, you know that right?” Remus asked.


“Yes,” Sirius smiled, “there’s no other way.”


Remus stood up and was ready to leave, but Sirius stopped him with a question: “Is this the reason why you and Alex didn’t worked out?”


“Yes,” Remus smiled sadly, “but you have no reason to worry, it is an ancient history.” And he walked away leaving Sirius with his herbology essay.



Everything was bad. Alex had spent whole two days at the Hospital Wing and that was unacceptable. Even thinking about last full moon Alex’s body started to ache. Why everything has to be so complicated? Why her imperfection needed to ruin everything good in her life?


Alex was so scared that Sirius would leave her, if she would tell him that she is a werewolf. And that was the last thing she needed – broken heart. Not after everything that had happened in the last half year.


“You can leave,” Madam Pomfrey stated, “just drink these potions and you can be off to breakfast.”


Alex humbly drank all the potions and left the Hospital wing. It was quiet early so she didn’t worry about running into some students or professors. Dragging her feet she slowly moved towards the Gryffindor tower, she had to get ready for today – visit to Hogsmeade. And that was the last thing she wanted to do today.


Alex entered the bedroom and fell on her bed, she stared at the ceiling and thought about this month transformation. She had never experienced something that wild, never she had hurt herself that much and with such violence. Of course she bit and scratched herself every month, but not like this. Was it possible that her mind worried so much that her body had to suffer this horribly?


“Hey, you are back,” it was Lily who had woken up.


“Hi,” Alex turned her head to Lily who looked still very sleepy. Her expression changed when she saw pain in Alex’s face.


“What happened?” Lily prompted herself up on one elbow and very seriously asked.


“I have to tell Sirius that I am…” Alex stopped just in case some other girl has already woken up. “Otherwise it is killing me, like literally.” Alex thought that she would start to cry because she heard her voice break.


Lily got up and laid down beside Alex hugging her. “You will find the right moment, time and words to tell him that,” Lily said very quietly. “But please don’t hurt yourself in the meantime, you don’t deserve that.”


Alex turned and properly hugged Lily. “Thank You,” she whispered. They laid like that for a while, but then Lily got up to get ready for her first Valentine’s Day with James. Well, belated Valentine’s Day celebration.


Alex continued to lay still while Lily was in the shower. Alex perfectly understood that she had to tell Sirius everything, otherwise there was nothing possible between them, but she decided to wait, she wanted to delay possible catastrophe.


After Lily Alex stepped into bathroom to take a long and hot shower, she tried to feel better. But if she had say in today then she would spend it in bed, not go to Hogsmeade. But a promise is a promise. That’s why she ordered herself to get out of the shower and start to get ready.


It didn’t matter how hard she tried, but Alex couldn’t get into mood for today. That’s why she gave up and just applied a little bit of mascara and perfume. She put on the most comfortable clothes she had – black tight jeans, black tank top, dark red sweater (which actually belonged to Sirius) and black army boots.


Alex and Lily went down to the common room, Lily met up with James and they left or breakfast, Alex saw Remus and approached him. Seeing Alex Remus pulled her in his embrace and almost crushed her.


“I’m so glad to see that you are okay,” he said quietly in her ear. “I was worried about you.”


“I’m okay,” she smiled weakly. “Where is Sirius?” she asked looking over Remus’s shoulder towards the boys bedroom stairs.


“He will be down any minute,” Remus kissed her on the forehead before letting Alex go. Then he also left for breakfast.


Remus was right, just after a brief moment Sirius emerged from the stairs. Alex smiled probably most cheerful smile in days and ran into Sirius’s arms, wind was hit out of his lungs and he looked surprised. Alex basically jumped in his lap and hugged him with all her might.


“Watson, are you trying to kill me again?” Sirius teased but returned her embrace very tightly.


“No,” Alex smirked, “in that case you’ll be dead already.”


“Okay I’ll try to remember that,” and Sirius kissed Alex so passionately that even one of the fourth year boys who sat in the common room whistled.


They slowly walked down to the Great Hall, Alex loved that they could walk in silence and that was enough, not everyone could master that. They just understood each other.


“I hope that you’ll keep your promise?” Alex asked when they had almost reached Entrance Hall.


“What are you talking about?” Sirius asked clearly not understanding.


“No presents?” Alex reminded. “Because I meant it, I hate almost all things that are some kind of tradition or some other garbage in which people believe just because it is a custom.”


“No presents, I promise,” Sirius pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, “I’m just planning to get you drunk at The Three Broomsticks later, that’s it.” Sirius laughed his dog bark like laugh while they were entering the Great Hall.


“Oh, I don’t mind at all,” Alex gazed into Sirius’s grey eyes and smiled.


They had spent amazing day at the Hogsmeade, but still Alex didn’t felt like herself. Her mind tortured her, she knew that she had to tell Sirius, and that affected her mood which was acceptable but not great.


Alex sat in The Three Broomsticks and waited for Sirius to return with another drinks, they had spent here almost couple of hours, and Sirius didn’t lie – he really tried to get Alex drunk. While she was waiting Alex looked around to pub customers.


Few tables over Alex noticed Kelly, girl which she had comforted at the beginning of the school year. Alex froze. Kelly looked at Alex and smiled sadly. Shit, suddenly Alex felt like most terrible person on this planet.


Kelly’s friends stood up to leave and she glanced one more time to Alex. She sadly shook her head as if she was trying to say how disappointed she was in Alex. And then Kelly was gone. Alex was devastated and angry, usually she didn’t care what other thought about her, but today was an exception. Alex felt horrible.


“What happened?” Sirius had returned with drinks in his hands, he sat down and worryingly studied Alex.


“I know that you planned to get me drunk tonight, but can we, please, go back to school?” Alex sadly asked while she took a firewhiskey out of Sirius hand and took a sip.


Sirius didn’t answer at once, he studied Alex for a while. Alex saw that he tries to figure out if this was the right moment to ask her what really was wrong. Finally he decided not to interrogate Alex.


“Do you want to leave now or do you want to finish this drink first?” he just asked.


“I want to finish this drink,” Alex tried to smile but her smile wasn’t convincing at all, it was just sad.


All the way back to school Alex walked pressing her body to Sirius’s side. Only entering castle’s territory she drew away a little bit from Sirius. He took her hand and led her away from school entrance towards the lake.


“Sirius,” Alex tried to protest, “it’s cold outside, can we go inside?”


“Just for a moment,” he dragged her towards the benches by the lake, “and then we can go inside.”


They sat down on the same bench where they first talked in September. This bench for Alex was bad memory omen, because the last time she was here was when Remus found her in the October’s full moon.


“I would like to know what happened in The Three Broomsticks, why did you wanted to leave?” Sirius put his hand on the bench’s backrest and turned to Alex so he could see her better.


“I saw Kelly and disappointment in her eyes,” Alex confessed. “And it made me feel terrible.”


“Who is Kelly?” Sirius asked.


Alex laughed and looked at Sirius, his face was full of confusion. “Typical Sirius,” her laugh still dragged on. “She is a girl whose face you were eating off in the fourth floor broom closet on 1st September,” Alex watched how confusion changed into exasperation. “The one who you dumped on the spot,” Alex was still laughing a little bit.


“Oh,” Sirius just said and looked to the frozen lake.


“See I was the one who told every girl what kind of bastard you are,” Sirius glanced at Alex with a surprise. “Stop, you know how big of a heartbreaker you were,” Alex pointed out, Sirius tilted his head, Alex felt that Sirius couldn’t disagree with that argument.


“And now I, who perfectly knew what you do to other girls, am with you,” she continued to explain. “I assume that all the girls now think that I am the biggest hypocrite of them all.”


“But that’s not your fault,” Sirius suggested.


“Yes, but…” Alex paused, “it probably looks stupid from aside. I assume that it is easier to believe that I have lost all my moral standards than that you have changed.” She smiled sadly.


“Why it bothers you today so much? You usually don’t care about this kind of stuff,” Sirius stroked her cheek with his thumb.


“I don’t know,” she sighed, “today is just off day, I have no mood, maybe that’s why.” She looked at Sirius. “I’m sorry that I ruined this visit to Hogsmeade,” she softly apologized.


“It’s fine,” Sirius quickly but gently kissed Alex’s lips. “You didn’t ruin anything,” and he smiled his most charming smile.


“How it started?” Alex’s eyes widened, she didn’t understood Sirius’s question. “That you became psychologist of girls that I have used?” Sirius added.


“You sort of were seeing Linda in the fifth year,” Alex smiled half a smile, “and then you dumped her,” Sirius looked very uncomfortable.


“I have muggle studies with Linda, that’s how I knew,” she carried on, “and apparently I said something that made her realize that you are not worth her tears. And that’s how it started – Linda told other girls what I did and said,” now Alex was the one looking at frozen lake. “And after that I couldn’t say no to any other girl,” she took Sirius’s hand and squeezed it.


“I’m surprised that you didn’t know all these years,” Alex added.


“No,” Sirius shook his head, “I had no clue.” He leaned in and looked into Alex’s eyes. “And what are you going to do now with all that free time when you don’t have to comfort other girls?” he tried to joke and it worked, Alex felt better.


“You are such an asshole,” she shouted, “I will try to manage for my heart to remain not broken, because nobody in this school would be ready for such a scandal and gossip.” Alex cackled.


Sirius just pulled her closer under his coat and kissed her. “I have no desire to break your heart,” he whispered in her lips.


They spend some time on the bench, Alex was surprised that she wasn’t freezing but Sirius’s body heat was apparently enough for both of them.


“Let’s go inside?” after a while Sirius suggested.


“Yes, please,” Alex exclaimed and stood up.


“Do you want to go to dinner, because I think it is not over yet?” Sirius asked. “Or do you want to go to the common room?”


“Let’s go to the common room,” Alex took him by hand and tugged Sirius so he would finally move, “we can go to kitchens later if we will be starving.”


Sirius stood up and grabbed Alex, he threw her over his shoulder, and Alex couldn’t breathe for a moment how her body crushed onto his.


“That I understand – breaking some law,” Alex felt how Sirius’s voice boomed in her body while he was carrying her to the school. “That’s my girl,” and Sirius laughed his typical dog bark like laugh.

A/N: I decided to translate this chapter because it was finished couple weeks ago, so you will have something to read while I am finishing this fan fiction.


No promises when the next chapter will be up, but no worries it is coming. Thank You all for reading!

Chapter 11: Birthday
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]



Alex had fallen asleep almost on top of him while they were just lounging on the couch in front of the fireplace after the Hogsmeade visit. Sirius’s hand was on Alex and he gently traced circles on her back with his fingers and played with her hair while she was sleeping. They didn’t go to kitchen for some food, and Sirius started to feel a little bit hungry, and the position started to feel a tad uncomfortable too, but it was all manageable. And he didn’t wanted to wake Alex up because she looked so beautiful and peaceful.


It was late already, most of the Gryffindors was already gone to beds, and just couple of night owls was occupying the common room. Sirius closed his eyes and listened to Alex’s rhythmical breathing, he felt how her body rose and fell with each breath she took. He breathed in her smell and smiled. It was so simple to be with Alex.


Sirius heard portrait hole opening, but he couldn’t see who came in in order not to wake Alex up. He heard someone whispering, and then some kissing sounds and some more quiet whispers. After a moment he saw James who was trying discreetly to go towards boys’ bedroom’s staircase.


“Oh, you sly devil,” Sirius said so quietly that he didn’t woke Alex up, but that James could hear him.


James jumped a little bit, he most definitely wasn’t expecting for someone to lay on the couch. Oh, James’s face was a poem, Sirius saw everything in it, and his smile was worth thousand words. James shyly put his hands in pockets and started to walk up the stairs.


“See you tomorrow, Pads,” James quietly said disappearing up the stairs.


Sirius couldn’t hide his smile, did it really happened, did James Potter just had slept with Lily Evans? These were great news, because that meant that they were going strong. Sirius knew that they were made for each other.


Sirius felt Alex moving, she slowly opened her eyes and realization came over her that she was not in her bedroom but in common room instead. Sirius gently caressed her head.


“Hey, sleepyhead,” Sirius smiled. “Did you slept well?”


“When did I fell asleep?” Alex asked trying to get sleep out of her eyes.


“Couple of hours ago,” Sirius answered, “I think that me telling you about the newest Marauder’s prank made you fell asleep,” Sirius chuckled. “I have to tell guys that that prank will plop, if you are falling asleep just by hearing about it.”


Alex laughed. “It’s firewhiskeys fault not the prank,” she stated and sat up in the couch, Sirius followed her example.


“Do you want to go to bed?” he asked.


“No, actually I’m starving,” Alex concluded rubbing her stomach.


“Great,” Sirius jumped to his feet and stretched his arm towards Alex. “Let’s go to kitchen!”


They sat in the kitchen and ate some very late dinner. Sirius looked at Alex and realized that she looked better than before.


“Are you feeling better?” Sirius asked smiling lightly.


“Mhm,” she answered chewing her food, Alex didn’t say anything else just kept eating her dinner.


After dinner they stayed in kitchen and just simply sat by the table. Alex drank some tea. Sirius studied her movements, she thought about something because she kept looking on the same spot somewhere over his shoulder, but didn’t seemed that these thoughts made her sad like it was earlier.


Sirius realized that Alex has his sweater on and he chuckled.


“Yes?” Alex asked finally looking at him.


“I assume that there is no chance in hell that I am getting my sweater back?” he asked with a smile playing on his lips.


“Nope,” Alex smiled, “it’s mine now.”


“Good, it suits you better.”


Alex smiled her warm smile, it was like a proof that she really felt better, Sirius couldn’t resist and returned the smile.




It was March’s full moon and Sirius entered the Great Hall to eat some breakfast. He noticed Alex immediately, she looked more tired than usual but it was full moon today after all. Remus sat beside her and looked as tired as Alex.


“Alex, eat something,” Sirius heard Lily spoke when he approached his friends. “Otherwise you will be just skin and bones and Sirius would not like you anymore,” Lily teased, pushing plate full of eggs towards Alex.


“It doesn’t matter how Alex looks,” Sirius stated sitting down, “I will always like her.” Sirius quickly kissed Alex and took egg plate from Lily.


Sirius felt Lily’s surprised look, Remus laughed quietly, but Alex put her hand on his knee and squeezed it. He glanced at Alex, she was smiling.


“Some eggs?” he offered to Alex.


“Maybe just a little,” she answered quietly and continued to drink her coffee.


Sirius almost put some eggs on Alex’s plate when he was interrupted by flock of owls which just flew in the Great Hall. One of the owls landed in front of Alex knocking over glass of juice, owl stretched its leg where was attached a letter. Sirius noticed that on the envelope was the already known coat of arms of sphynx.


Alex beside him froze, then she took a letter from owl and quickly hide it in her bag.


“I forgot charms textbook in my room,” she said and was already rising up from her seat. “See you in class,” she managed to say that before rushing out of the Great Hall.


Sirius looked at Remus, but he just almost without notice shook his head as if saying that there is no point following Alex. And Sirius agreed, because it would cause a situation where Alex should possibly lie to Sirius, and that is one thing he didn’t wanted to do.


Alex entered charms class at the same moment when bell rang. She sat down in her seat next to Lily and concentrated on professor Flitwick who had just started the lesson. Sirius saw just Alex’s profile, he worryingly looked at her trying to figure out how much this letter had affected Alex.


He was relieved when he concluded that Alex hadn’t cried. But she still looked disappointed. Sirius wanted so badly to console her, make her feel better, but he couldn’t.


Maybe Sirius should tell her that he knows about her lycanthropy. It possibly would make him feel better, but would it help Alex? Alex liked to run away from things, despite the fact that she was very strong. Sirius had already realized that. It was just because she was so afraid of rejection, her family really hurt her not accepting her as werewolf.


She had given up all the drama in her life to protect her mind and moral health, like when she had admitted that she liked Sirius but was not ready for a possibility of him breaking her heart (at least then), she had resisted Sirius for months after she gave in and decided that maybe it was worth the risk.


Alex was afraid to get hurt just because she knew how painful it was. And that was the reason why Sirius needed to let her tell him about her on her own time. He was scared that she would try to run away from him if he decided to confront her with that. Sirius wasn’t ready to loose Alex, not after everything that had happened. They both suffered, but Sirius knew that Alex will fully trust him eventually.


“Mister Black, your turn to try this spell,” professor Flitwick said coming to his table.



It was the last week before Easter holidays, and he and Lily had just returned from their patrol. They entered the common room and went straight to Sirius, Alex, Remus and Peter, they all sat by the fireplace. Something in this scene was off, because Remus and Peter stared at Sirius and Alex with excitement, but they all were silent.


James sat down in the armchair and pulled Lily in his lap. He once again looked at his friends, Alex sat on the couch and read “Witch Weekly”, Sirius looked a little bit ticked off, but he didn’t took his eyes off of Alex. Remus smirked so slightly that it was almost not detectable, and Peter just looked very entertained.


“What have we missed?” James finally asked. “What happened?” Nobody answered, Alex just pursed her lips and kept on reading the magazine.


“Alex got detention, it was Sirius’s fault,” Remus started to explain. “And she is a little bit angry about that,” Remus smiled.


“Why did you got detention?” Lily asked Alex, but she continued to be silent not even looking at Lily.


“Actually they both got detention,” Remus added, “but Alex is not speaking now, she said that she will cool down after she finishes her magazine, that’s why we are leaving her alone.”


“But why did they got detention?” Jams was curious, there was possibility that some kind of prank was involved and that made him very interested in this situation.


“We have no idea,” Remus stated shrugging his shoulders, “they are not talking about that.” Remus thoughtfully looked at Alex and Sirius: “But I have my suspicions of what they could have done…”


Alex angrily looked over the top of her magazine at Remus, she raised her eyebrow. Remus stopped smiling and started to look at his hands as if they were the most interesting thing in this common room.


“Alex, I di…” Sirius suddenly spoke leaning closer to Alex.


“Four,” she interrupted him in the middle of sentence, he cursed without a sound and fell back to place he was previously sitting in.


“Four – what?” James asked confused.


“Oh,” Peter exclaimed, “Alex promised not to kiss Sirius for a whole day if he interrupts her reading,” Peter laughed. “He had got it up to four days now.”


“Mooney,” James looked at Remus very enthusiastically, “I bet you one galleon that he will get it up to seven.” And James stretched his arm towards Remus.


“It’s a bet,” Remus laughed and shook James’s hand.


“Seriously?” it was Lily who interrupted their little moment, but she didn’t looked angry at all.


Sirius glared in ager at his friends and stood up. “Thank you very much,” she spat and turned to Alex. “That’s not fair, are you really not going to kiss me until Easter holidays and then for two weeks while we will be away from each other, that’s not going to work,” Sirius spoke to Alex.


“Five,” Alex said smiling. And then James saw it – Alex was just pretending, she had no desire to keep her promise, she was just teasing him. She most definitely wasn’t even angry at Sirius anymore. James laughed out loud, Sirius was in such a trouble love-wise and he hadn’t even noticed it.


“What is so funny?” Sirius turned to James and asked harshly.


“You’ll see,” James continued to laugh and pulled Lily closer to his body completely hugging her.


Apparently Sirius didn’t understood James’s comment, because when he turned around he was surprised that Alex had stood up and now was standing in front of him.


“Everything’s forgiven and everything’s good,” she said and stood on her toes to kiss Sirius. “Speaking about Easter holidays,” she said to everyone when she had kissed Sirius. “Maybe you all want to visit me in France? My birthday is next Friday, we could celebrate a little bit, what do you say?”


“It would be amazing,” Lily was excited, the rest of them agreed.


“Great, it will be nice to spend some days with you guys,” Alex was happy, “now I’m going to bed, good night everybody.” And she kissed Sirius again.


“It is getting late,” Lily agreed and turned to James to give him a kiss. “See you tomorrow.” And James followed her with eyes while she walked to stairs and disappeared in them with Alex.


“Pay up,” Remus very sweetly smiled to James, stretching out his palm. “You owe me one galleon.” James just shook his head and took out his wallet to pay for his loss.




“Padfoot!” James yelled from the living room. “How long do I have to wait for you?” he started to become impatient, because Sirius ten minutes ago said that he will be ready after five. James didn’t liked to wait.


“Stop yelling,” Sirius said carefree entering the living room, “I’m here.”


“You are getting ready like such a girl,” James pointed and stepped inside the fireplace to travel to France.


“That’s why I am so dashing,” Sirius smirked, James just managed to roll his eyes to Sirius comment before green flames transported him away.


When he stepped out in Alex’s living room his sight was blurred by dark red hair, Lily had rushed to him and started to kiss him. Their lips slowly parted and he slowly opened his eyes, James couldn’t believe how perfect she was.


James studied the living room, he was pleasantly surprised, if the rest of the mansion was as big and luxurious as this living room, then it meant that this mansion was huge. There was a couple of couches in the living room, coffee tables and some other smaller tables scattered around the room. Wall that led out to the yard was made of glass, in the corner by the window was grand piano, there was bookshelves by the walls. Living room was very tasteful and cozy.


“Hi, Sirius!” James heard how Lily greeted him when Sirius stepped out of the fireplace.


“Hello, Lily,” Sirius greeted her back, but James heard something interesting in his voice, he turned to look at him.


Sirius gazed across the room, Alex had just entered the room carrying tray with drinks and snacks in her hands. She glowed like a sun in the summer day, and it was made more powerful by beautiful dark yellow dress that she was wearing.


James looked once again at Sirius, and at that moment James realized that Sirius loves her, it was written on his face clear as a day. Sirius looked at Alex like she was the only one in this world, seemed like Sirius could just watch Alex do anything forever, just look at her and be happy.


“Oh, hi, guys,” Alex put the tray down and turned to them, “I thought that you will never come,” and she smiled such a warm smile, that James smiled as well. Of course that everybody was already here.


“Happy birthday,” Sirius said walking to Alex and gifting her a bunch of yellow tulips and bottle of firewhiskey.


“Thank you,” she received the presents. “I told you that you don’t need to give me anything,” she smirked. “But it is my favourite firewhisky, so you are forgiven.”


“Yeah, you better forgive me,” Sirius smiled half smile, and gently grabbing Alex chin leaned in to kiss her.


“It’s Sirius fault that we are late, I was ready ages ago,” James interrupted their kiss, Sirius shot him a glance.


“Oh, I bet,” Alex smirked and turned to James.


“Happy birthday!” James gifted her roses and hugged her as much as it was possible because Alex’s hands were full of flowers and firewhiskey.


Alex very swiftly took out a wand from her pocket and waved it, flowers and bottle flew into air and neatly placed themselves in vase and landed on grand piano, firewhiskey landed on one of the many little tables.


“Hmm,” Alex raised her index finger and it looked like she tried to remember something. “Sit down, sit down,” she guided everyone to couches, “I will take some things from kitchen and be right back.” She rushed out of the room, but the rest of them sat down.


“How did you knew that tulips are Alex’s favourite flowers?” Lily asked Sirius. “Did Alex told you or you guessed?”


“Emm…” Sirius ran a hand through his hair, “I had no clue,” he confessed and smiled surprised about that fact. But of course Padfoot manages to do the right thing without even trying that hard.


Alex’s birthday was amazing, seemed like everyone had the time of their lives. It was late, it was most definitely long past midnight, but they were still up, considerably tipsy but still awake.


They tried to play some muggle board game that Lily had brought, but nobody understood the rules completely, and Sirius all the time complained that the game was boring because there was no magic.


Lily, Remus and Peter was the only ones playing, because the rest of them had lost already. James considered that game silly too, but still they managed to make the best out of it.


James glanced at Sirius which hadn’t took his eyes off of Alex for whole evening, and even now he was looking at her. Alex sat next to him on the couch, she had pulled her legs beneath herself and that made her a little bit taller, now their faces was on the same level.


Alex laughed quietly about something Sirius had said, they looked so happy together, James was surprised that two people could look so happy. He looked at Lily and smiled, he wondered if they looked happy. But James felt like the luckiest guy in the world besides Lily.


James glanced again towards Alex and Sirius, their heads were pushed together and they spoke about something. It was impossible to hear about what they were talking, because music was too loud. And it actually didn’t mattered.


Sirius was happily in love and that was the most important thing, finally someone had managed to tame Sirius. James was sure that Alex loved Sirius too, because of how her body reacted to Sirius’s movements, they were just in sync.


James smiled and sipped his firewhiskey. Could it be – could Alex be the one and only?



Sirius slowly turned to his side and tried to find Alex in the bed, but his hand just met cold sheets. He unwillingly opened his eyes and realized that Alex wasn’t there, she was nowhere to be found in the room.


Sirius got up, dressed and went downstairs to find Alex. She wasn’t in the living room, but there was music coming from the kitchen.


He didn’t manage to reach the kitchen doors when he saw Alex in the kitchen, she was swaying in the rhythm of music. He leaned against the door frame and crossing his arms watched her, he didn’t wanted to interrupt her.


Alex had Sirius’s T-shirt, long knitted cardigan and wool socks on, her hair was up in a messy bun. Sirius smiled, this Alex he liked the best. She just swayed and made some breakfast.


It was sunny morning and sunlight filled the kitchen with soft light making this sight even more beautiful. This Alex – who didn’t gave a damn what she was wearing, who did what she wanted, who looked as carefree as it gets – Sirius wanted to remember forever. This Alex was perfect.


And at that moment Alex turned and saw Sirius.


“Morning,” she said a little shyly, but came closer to Sirius.


“Morning,” he entered the kitchen and crossed the distance between them in couple steps, he grabbed Alex by the waist and lifted her up on the kitchen counter.


“I wasn’t planning on waking up alone this morning,” Sirius said playfully positioning himself between her legs.


“Sorry,” Alex brushed her lips against his, “couldn’t sleep.” And she slowly pressed her lips against his not completely kissing him.


Sirius’s hands slowly slipped behind her cardigan hugging her waist. “How are going to make it up to me?” he asked in her lips which was now a little parted.


“I will figure something out,” she whispered and threw her hands around his neck finally kissing him, Sirius pulled her closer.


“People, please, get a room,” James shouted entering the kitchen with Lily on his heels. Sirius was ready to blow them up.


Alex chuckled still looking in Sirius’s eyes. “I made breakfast,” she said without breaking eye contact with Sirius. “Coffee, tea?” she asked jumping off the counter and walking to the stove to put kettle on.


“You have a house elf, why are you even cooking?” Lily asked sitting by the table, still sounding sleepy.


“Because I want to,” she simply said and smiled, “I wanted to do something nice for you.”


“Then be a dear and bring me some coffee,” James said yawning, Sirius chuckled.




They all stayed in France for a couple of days, everybody loved Alex’s mansion and town where it was located. Days they spent either just relaxing at mansion or walking around the town, there was a lot of sights to see or nice cafes where to rest.


They all spent wonderful time there, but it was time to leave. Alex and Lily was sitting outside all morning, they talked for a long time, Sirius tried to join them but he was driven away very quickly.


“Do you know what they are talking about?” James asked sitting down next to Sirius who sat on the couch from where was perfect sight at the girls.


“No,” he replied. “But I have a suspicion that they are talking about us,” Sirius sighed.


“I assume that only the good things,” James smiled.


“Oh, Prongs, you are unbelievable,” Sirius laughed.


“Do you really have nothing better to do than spy on your girlfriends?” it was Remus who had just entered the living room with Peter, they had made sandwiches for themselves.


“You are just jealous, Moony,” James snapped back but smiled.


“It is possible, yes,” Remus shrugged his shoulders and took a bite off his sandwich.


“Now I want a sandwich too,” James stated standing up, “thank you very much.”


“We just ate?!” Sirius was surprised.


“Do you want a sandwich too?” James mischievously looked at Sirius.


“Of course,” Sirius laughed.


James went to make some sandwiches but Sirius looked at Alex. He really wanted to know what they were talking about. But he ordered his curiosity to shut up, because it never ends well.


When guys finished eating and girls finally came inside it was time to leave. Sirius said goodbye to Peter and Remus. When he hugged Lily, he noticed that Remus whispered something in Alex’s ear and she just nodded. This day was full of secrets.


Peter and Lily left using Floo powder. James turned to Sirius.


“Ready?” he asked slapping Sirius on shoulder.


“No,” Sirius dragged out. “I’m going to stay for a while.”


James and Remus looked at Alex who just shrugged her shoulders and said: “What can I say, he just follows me around like a lost puppy.”


James quickly glanced at Sirius and raised his eyebrow, but Sirius quickly shook his head in denial.


“Then I’ll see you at the end of the week,” Sirius hugged James and pushed him towards the fireplace.


“Fine, fine,” James protested, “we are already leaving. Mooney, let’s leave them alone.”


James and Remus left. When James disappeared with a swirl of green flames Sirius grabbed Alex and tossed her over his shoulder and started to walk towards stairs.


“I think that you owe me something,” Sirius laughed when Alex tried to break free from his grip.




Sirius’s hand fumbled around the bed once again, but Alex wasn’t there. He opened his eyes in disappointment and looked at ceiling. Too many times he had woken up alone in this past week. He glanced at the clock it was just a little past six o’clock.


Sirius got up and went to look for Alex. He found her in the yard, she sat on the stone balustrade and looked over the sea. She looked sad, Sirius sighed, it didn’t suited to Alex – to be sad. He charmed his coat to him, put it on and went outside.


“Have you slept tonight?” Sirius asked moving towards Alex.


“No,” she was surprised to see Sirius up, “couldn’t fell asleep.”


Sirius hugged Alex and then he realized that she was freezing. “Come, let’s go inside,” he helped her to get down from balustrade, “you are freezing.”


“Sirius,” Alex spoke when he had managed to take few steps towards the mansion, “I have to tell you something.” And then she released their joined hands.


Sirius came to abrupt halt, he turned around and looked into Alex’s honey brown eyes.

A/N: Writing gods were good to me and I have finished this fan fiction. Now I only have to translate remaining chapters. And then I can concentrate on the sequel to this fic. Because - yes there will be a sequel. From the start I knew that this would be a two part series.


Three more chapters to go.

Chapter 12: Confession
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Alex sat on the stone balustrade in her yard and watched how sun rose. It was quite cold outside and she felt how her body slowly starts to shiver from coldness. These were another amazing holidays, but still she felt low-spirited.


Alex knew that she had to tell Sirius that she is a werewolf. It just killed her physically and morally. She hadn’t slept at all, she had to do something.


“Have you slept tonight?” Alex hadn’t noticed that Sirius had emerged from the house.


“No,” she answered looking at him, “couldn’t fell asleep.”


Sirius came to her and hugged her, she breathed in his smell and realized that she has to tell him now, she couldn’t wait any longer.


“Come, let’s go inside,” he helped her to get down from balustrade and took her by the hand, “you are freezing.”


“Sirius,” Alex spoke when he had managed to take few steps towards the mansion, “I have to tell you something.” And then she released their joined hands.


Sirius came to abrupt halt, he turned around and looked into Alex’s honey brown eyes. He didn’t speak, he just stood there and looked at her. It seemed like he wasn’t even surprised that Alex wanted to tell him something.


“I am a werewolf,” Alex said it in one breath, because she was scared that otherwise she wouldn’t master up a courage to say that.


Expression on Sirius’s face didn’t change a bit, Alex was stunned. Suddenly she wasn’t sure that he even heard what she had said, or maybe she hadn’t been clear enough.


“Did you heard what I just said?” she asked insecurely.


“Yes, I did,” Sirius answered still without changing his expression, it didn’t said much, it was just normal. They stood there in silence, Alex didn’t knew what to do, so she just waited. “I knew that,” finally Sirius spoke, “and it doesn’t matter because I love you.”


Alex started to step back slowly until she was stopped by the stone balustrade. Sirius knew – how the hell?!


“You knew,” she whispered almost without sound. “No, but how… not Remus…” Alex’s heart almost stopped beating, was it really possible that Remus had betrayed her trust, it couldn’t be. But better explanation Alex couldn’t master up in her brain at the moment.


“No, Remus didn’t tell me,” Sirius said calmly, he made few steps towards Alex, but she wanted to keep her distance from him, and she stepped sideways not allowing him to touch her.


“How did you find out?” Alex continued to ask still almost without a sound.


“I found a letter from your family in our bedroom, I believe that you gave it to Remus…” Sirius explained.


Alex hadn’t a clue what he was talking about, she couldn’t remember that she had given a letter to Remus. Shit, that time by the lake, but it was ages ago.


“How long do you know?” Alex finally fully looked into Sirius’s eyes.


“Since Christmas,” Sirius answered, that meant – all the time they were together.


And only then Alex’s brain let her process the second part of Sirius’s previous sentence, the one where he said that he loves her. Sirius loved Alex and now she knew. Sirius loved Alex and he didn’t care that she was a werewolf.


“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex asked in a little bit louder voice.


“Because that I was scared that you will turn everything upside down and declare that we cannot be together just because you are a werewolf,” Sirius’s words and tone of his voice was so true that it shocked Alex. “But it doesn’t matter,” he added.


Because you love me, Alex added that in her mind. She shook her head, trying to push that away for a moment, there was still things that had to be asked.


“Does anyone else knows?” her voice was full of uncertainty, she was ready to hear anything. Alex thought that nothing can surprise her now.


“No one,” Sirius simply answered, and Alex was shocked. “Well, except Remus and I assume Lily,” he added. “James and Peter don’t know,” he spoke when Alex hadn’t muttered a word.


“Alex…” Sirius began and moved closer to her, but Alex continued to step back. He stopped and put his hands in his coat pockets. There was just a smidge of disappointment in his face, but overall he looked calm. “You have to stop running from me,” he just said and continued to look at her.


Alex didn’t knew what to do. She even didn’t knew what to say. She just frowned and closed her eyes, Sirius was right – she always unknowingly ran away from him.


Alex took one more step backwards and felt how her heel catch on something. She sharply inhaled, she felt how she was falling, but then she felt Sirius’s hands around her, he had caught her and pulled close to him.


This conversation with Sirius and sudden scare overwhelmed her body, Alex felt how tears were streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t even understood why her body was reacting like that. Alex felt how Sirius took her face in his hands and pulled it up, she slowly opened her eyes.


Sirius didn’t care that she was a werewolf and Lily also had no problem with that. Was it possible that Alex had just made up in her mind that nobody would want her if they would ever find out about her lycanthropy? Her family had ruined her making her believe that people would be disgusted by her. But there were all kinds of people out there. For example, Sirius who stood in front of her and he didn’t care, he liked Alex just the way she was without any exceptions.


“Everything’s alright,” it wasn’t a question, but still Alex nodded her head trying to answer.


“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Sirius asked softly, still holding her face in his arms and wiping away her tears with his thumbs.


“Because I was scared that you will not need me like that,” Alex’s voice shook just a little. “And I was scared that you will break my heart, because it was too late, I was already in love with you.”


“I would rather choose to be sent to Azkaban than hurt you, I don’t want to cause you any pain,” he spoke the truth, Alex heard it in his voice. “Please trust me Alex, I love you.”


And he leaned in to kiss her. In this kiss Alex felt all the love, trust and loyalty that he could give her. Alex needed to stop running from Sirius, because actually he was his haven from the rest of the world.


“I love you,” she whispered in his lips.


“And I love you,” he confessed with love in his eyes. “But now we are going inside, I will make you some tea so you can get warm,” he smiled and led her inside the mansion.


They sat by the table in kitchen and drank tea. Alex felt how slowly warmth returned in her body, she held the cup with both hands and watched how steam rose from it.


“How did you became a werewolf?” Sirius asked carefully. Alex looked up and smiled sadly.


“It actually happened almost three years ago around this time,” she began. “It was fourth year Easter holidays and in that year too my birthday was during that time. My parents planned this beautiful trip through Europe to celebrate it,” she stopped and smiled sadly once again, because she realized that it was the last time when her parents did something nice for her.


“We were in Slovakia in beautiful house that belonged to our family friends,” Alex looked at Sirius who listened very patiently. “There was a forest nearby the house and I liked to wonder around in it. And then one evening when full moon was so bright that it illuminated all the paths in the forest I went for a walk and…” she paused just for a moment to gather her thoughts. “And I met a werewolf face to face and you can imagine the rest.”


“That almost invisible scar on your hip, that is where…” Sirius couldn’t finish that sentence.


“Yes, there werewolf bit me,” Alex sadly confirmed.


“And your family?” Sirius asked.


“My brother found me next day,” Alex continued, “they brought me to hospital and when it turned out that I will be a werewolf, all my family abandoned me.” Alex had started once again to look at steam rising from her cup. She wanted to continue and tell everything, but she just couldn’t.


“They abandoned you when you needed them the most?” Sirius was shocked.


“Yeah, because they didn’t needed me like that, I was a disappointment to all my family,” she laughed sadly, it was absurd. “They needed a daughter who would be smart enough not to get bitten by a werewolf, who could achieve something in her life, who wouldn’t be such a disappointment who they needed to hide from everyone,” she said with a bitterness in her voice.


“Aunt Radella?” Sirius mentioned.


“She was amazing,” Alex smiled. “She taught me so much, she helped me to accept everything that had happened, I don’t know what I would have done without her.”


“Yes, family and all that drama about some historic beliefs is just plain madness,” Sirius said looking at Alex, she frowned because she didn’t understood fully about what Sirius was talking about.


“When I got sorted in Gryffindor I was so proud, because all my family always was in Slytherin,” Sirius slowly started to explain. “I met James and the rest of Marauders, and I realized that I actually don’t like all that pureblood rubbish that my family adored,” he shrugged his shoulders.


“It was the reason why they disowned me,” she smiled weak and sad smile, “and when I turned sixteen I left my home and went to live with James.”


“Is this the reason you don’t speak to Regulus?” Alex wanted to know.


“Yes, because Regulus became an apple of my mother’s eye when I got sorted elsewhere not in Slytherin,” he sighed, “and he became all that my mother valued. And that tears me apart.”




“He is my little brother and I needed to protect him from our mother, but I was too proud,” Sirius looked away and drank his tea until the mug was empty, Alex noticed that Sirius didn’t wanted to continue this conversation.


Alex would have never thought that they had so much in common. But it was clear now when they could talk to each other about things that really was important, that really hurt their souls. Now they knew about each other almost everything.


“Come,” Sirius stood up and took Alex’s hand, “you need sleep and warmth,” he said. “We are going back to bed,” and Alex obeyed him.



Remaining two days of Easter holidays they spent like they both were only two people on this Earth. Sirius would never thought that to love someone would be so easy. But no it was all Alex, she was the reason why he could love her with such ease.


It was early Sunday morning, Sirius and Alex laid in bed, Sirius slowly caressed her naked back while she rested her head on his chest. Today was the day they had to return to Hogwarts, but Sirius wanted for this to never end.


“We have to get up otherwise we will be late,” Alex mentioned but she didn’t even move to get up. “You have to go to Potters before leaving for King’s Cross.”


“I know,” he responded but didn’t wanted to get up yet, he tried to prolong this moment as much as possible.


“I can’t even imagine how much work is waiting for us in school, because N.E.W.T.s is only couple of months away,” Alex said, “when we will see each other?”


“Just stop,” Sirius kissed her hair. “No way it’s going to be that bad, we will find time for each other.”


“I hope so,” Alex quietly laughed.


“Speaking about N.E.W.T.s, what are your plans after graduating?” Sirius simply asked.


“I don’t know,” Alex answered, “because it doesn’t matter what I want, because my options are limited just because I am a werewolf.”


“What would you like to do?” Sirius asked continuing to caress her back and playing with her hair.


“I always wanted to be an auror,” Sirius was sure that Alex would be an amazing auror. “But I said my good-byes to that dream a long time ago.”


“You really don’t know what are you going to do after school?” Sirius was surprised.


“I have no clue,” Alex stated. “I think that I would like to spend summer here and then figure out what are my options.” Alex lifted her head and looked at Sirius. “And what are you going to do after graduating?”


“No idea,” Sirius smirked and kissed Alex. “It’s possible that I will find a flat in London and some job until I figure everything else out.”


“Sounds like a plan,” she smiled. Her look was so gentle that Sirius lost in her eyes for a moment.


“I want you to live with me in London,” after a brief moment of silence Sirius finally spoke. Alex’s eyes widened but she didn’t say anything.


“You want to live with me?” she asked quietly.


“Yes,” Sirius smirked. “Is it so hard to believe?”


“No,” she just shook her head, “I just didn’t expect that.” And she smiled once again, Merlin, how Sirius loved her smile.


“So?” he asked optimistically.


“Yes, I would love to live with you in London after graduating,” she said cheerfully.


He had no idea how they got here – they planned their future together. Sirius smiled his most charming smile, he was so happy. He didn’t even remember himself so happy, maybe because he had never been this happy.


“But we have to get up now, so we don’t miss Hogwarts Express,” she said with a tinge of sadness and kissed Sirius before getting up from bed and leaving for bathroom.


Sirius stayed in bed, he contemplated their future, how it would be – living with Alex, when they would be just alone, just two of them, he knew that it will be wonderful.




Alex was completely right, professors gave them massive amounts of homework when they returned back to school. All seventh years spent their free time reading book after book, revising spells, reading old notes and writing essays in all subjects.


But Sirius and Alex still managed to find time for each other. These little pockets of happiness helped Sirius to get through all the work he needed to do. It felt like he just blinked once and it was already May and N.E.W.T.s was just around the corner.


It was one of the last May Saturdays and the last Quidditch game of the year – battle for the cup. It was Gryffindor against Slytherin. Sirius and Alex hand in hand walked to the Quidditch field to see the most anticipated game of this year.


They joined Remus, Peter and Lily who was already in the stands and waited for game to start. Game was exciting and interesting, Sirius knew that Gryffindor has to win with at least 110 point advantage in order to win the school’s Quidditch cup.


Players flew high above their heads but still Sirius noticed how James checked scoring board way too often. When they had gained needed amount of points James signaled to their seeker to find the snitch.


And at that moment James’s shoulder was hit by a bludger. Crown who supported Gryffindor was shocked. Sirius felt how Lily holds her breath, but it looked like James wasn’t hurt he actually looked more determined than before.


Slytherins gained some points and that meant that Gryffindor was falling behind, they needed those points to win. But James scored like a crazy person, it was art not a game that Sirius was watching.


“Madison dives!” commentator yelled. Sirius looked for Gryffindor seeker, there she was at the far end of the field, she was flying towards ground in insane speed. Slytherin’s seeker tried to keep up, but he had no chance in hell to catch her.


“Looks like Slytherins may lose,” commentator added. And then Madison pulled her broom upwards and there was something shiny in her fist.




Sirius whistled and jumped up and down from joy in stands, he looked at Alex she yelled in excitement, she jumped in his lap and roughly kissed him. Cheer practically shined from her.


“We won!” she squeaked throwing her hands around Sirius’s neck.


“I know,” Sirius said laughing, he put Alex down.


He searched for James, all team was hugging mid-air and was shouting for their victory. They formed to fly a lap around the field in honor of this game, everybody cheered for them. They started to fly around, but when they neared stands where Sirius and the rest of then stood James slowed down and flew to them.


Without getting off his broom James leaned over the railings and kissed Lily in front of the whole school. The ones who stood nearby applauded and some of the boys whistled. Sirius couldn’t hear what James was saying to Lily because noise was almost deafening, but he was almost sure that James just confessed his love to Lily. She blushed crimson red, and then Sirius was sure about his suspicious.


People started slowly to go away. Sirius hugged Alex from behind and whispered in her ear. “I’ll see you in the tower,” Alex turned and looked at Sirius. “We have to get some stuff for party, see you later, my love.”


My love, was the only nickname (which actually wasn’t a nickname) that Sirius sometimes used referring to Alex. But it meant a lot to both of them, it was just like saying “I love you”. It contained all the love, trust and loyalty that existed between them.


“Moony, Wormtail, let’s go! We have a party to throw!” Sirius shouted to his friends.



Alex thought that Gryffindor tower hadn’t ever experienced such a celebration, Marauders had brought so much food and drinks that it was almost impossible to eat and drink all of that. Music was blasting, everybody was cheering, and mood in the room was just legendary.


All seventh years was happy about this party not just because their team won the school quidditch cup, but also because they needed this party to relax from all the studying and professors who nagged them about N.E.W.T.s.


The party was going full on, it was already evening but it wasn’t too late. Alex sat on the couch with Sirius, they played drinking game about which knew just the two of them. Alex heard how Lily tried to argue with James about the fact that he needed to stop this party, because McGonagall could skin them all alive.


“Lily, honey, you never get into trouble,” James simply stated and tried to calm her down, “this is the last time to start.”


Alex laughed, Sirius also laughed his dog bark like laugh, because both of them had heard James’s sentence.


“And what are you laughing at?” Lily snapped, Alex and Sirius drank a shot of firewhiskey. “You have nothing to worry about, you are not the Head Girl.”


Lily sat across them seemingly pissed. James plopped next to her seemingly bored.


“See Remus doesn’t protest about the party and he is a prefect, so please calm down and relax,” James pointed out and hugged Lily.


“When have he ever protested about any of your parties?!” Lily shrieked shockingly trying to prove her point.


“Alex, can you please help me?” Lily desperately asked. Alex and Sirius took another shot.


“No,” Alex answered putting her shot glass back on the table. “I need this party, because my head will explode from all the studying.”


Lily just waved her arms. “Your head will probably explode tomorrow from all this alcohol you are consuming,” Lily remarked.


“That’s tomorrow’s problem,” Alex said and stuck a tongue out towards Lily.


“Why are you just sitting here and drinking? Go dance, have some fun!” James was surprised. Alex and Sirius exchanged looks and did another shot.


“Maybe later, Prongs,” Sirius said smirking, “night is still young.”


“Why are you acting so weird?” James was even more confused. Alex and Sirius did another shot.


“Because they are playing a drinking game,” Remus’s voice came from behind them, “they drink a shot when someone asks them a question.”


“Thanks for ruining it,” Alex turned to Remus with fake angry expression on her face.


“There’s no point in playing now,” Sirius stated apparently very devastated. “Of course all seeing Moony is right once again.”


“How long were you playing?” Lily asked.


“Half an hour,” Alex answered shrugging her shoulders.


“Merlin’s pants!” shouted Sirius. Alex looked at Sirius, but he was looking over the common room to the portrait hole.


Alex looked to the portrait hole. Professor McGonagall had entered the common room and stood there angry like a dragon, Alex waited if fire will come out of her nostrils. Slowly students became silent, all you could hear was music coming from an old gramophone.


“Don’t worry, everything’s going to be fine,” James said to Lily. “Padfoot, this is our turn.” And James together with Sirius stood up and walked to professor McGonagall.


It was impossible to hear what exactly they were speaking, but they did that for several minutes. Music damped their words, so Alex just studied McGonagall’s expressions because James and Sirius stood with their backs to Alex.


It seemed like ages had passed when finally McGonagall left, she didn’t seemed to be very satisfied, but she hadn’t spoken to other students, she just talked to James and Sirius. Everybody waited, they wanted to know what’s going to happen.


Sirius and James turned, they smiled biggest and most mischievous smiles Alex had ever seen on their faces.


“Let’s party!” Sirius shouted throwing his hands in the air, everybody cheered. “Butterbeer for everyone!” and he pulled from the bottom of the table full case of butterbeer.


“How the hell did you do that?!” Alex couldn’t believe what had just happened.


“Even McGonagall couldn’t resist my charms,” Sirius smirked very full of himself.


“And McGonagall is big quidditch fan, so we managed to melt her heart,” James said a little arrogantly.


“I thought that was impossible,” Lily was shocked. “She never allows anyone party through the night.”


“Of course there were such phrases as “our last year”, “last party”, “no more pranks from Marauders”,” James smirked.


“Are you serious?” now it was Alex’s turn to be shocked.


“Maybe we lied a little bit about the pranks,” Sirius laughed, “bet she offered to put silencing spell on the tower so no one else can hear our party.”


Alex’s mouth fell open. The fact that they managed to convince McGonagall to allow them to party was most impressive thing anyone from Marauders had done ever including all of their pranks. She just couldn’t believe.


“I have a suspicion that we will pay for that,” James admitted, “we’ll see what will happen in the next transfiguration class.”


“James if she will give us even more homework than she is doing now,” Lily was devastated, “I don’t know if I could forgive you that. I don’t think that one party is worth it.”


“Come let’s dance,” James pulled Lily to her feet and lead her to the space which was kind of a dance floor. “I have to prove to you that one party can be worth some extra homework.”


“They are so sweet,” Alex couldn’t hide her excitement.


“Yes,” Sirius agreed, “it is just because they are madly in love.”


Alex looked at Sirius and couldn’t think if they also looked this sweet as Lily and James.


“What are we going to do now when Remus ruined our drinking game?” Alex asked to Sirius.


“Dance,” he simply stated and took Alex to wannabe dance floor.


They danced the rest of the evening, people started to go to sleep one by one until there was just Marauders, Alex and some troopers in the common room. Lily and James had mysteriously disappeared some time ago.


“What time is it?” Alex asked falling into one of the armchairs.


“Almost four,” Remus answered looking at his hand watch.


“Let’s finish the last firewhiskey bottle,” initiated Sirius waving it in the air.


“Fine,” Alex agreed but Sirius was already pouring them drinks.


“To Hogwarts,” Remus toasted.


“To Marauders,” Alex added slightly smirking.


“That’s my girl,” Sirius managed to say before everybody clinked their glasses and drank them empty.

Chapter 13: Commitment
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James was right, professor McGonagall did give them especially nasty homework next class, but they all had reached a level where one more complicated homework didn’t even mattered.


Every day Remus thought that someone will lose their mind, because there was so much to do. He was worried about Lily the most because she looked like she could pass out any moment now. She took these exams very seriously, too seriously if someone asked Remus’s thoughts.


Even Sirius who considered school one big entertainment looked worried about N.E.W.T.s. But Alex managed to calm him down, because apparently she didn’t worry about a thing. She was the embodiment of peace in this stressful time.


She helped people who couldn’t manage their homework of just wanted to talk. Remus didn’t knew if he ever had seen more kind-hearted person than Alex. For the last couple of weeks he had seen Alex help not only seventh years but also much younger students if they had some troubles with studying.


Remus had no clue how she found time for that, because she managed to study for herself, to help others and even to find time for Sirius. He didn’t knew where she got so much energy for all of this.


It was already beginning of June, and Remus marched out of the castle and went straight to Alex and Sirius who studied by the lake.


“If I have to explain one more time to James how to correctly brew the draught of the living death, I will hex him with something especially nasty,” Remus fell down beside them and grabbed his hair with his hands.


“Why are you helping him in potions?” Alex asked in surprise. “He got Lily for that, she is the potion savant.”


“Lily doesn’t want to be disturbed when she is studying,” Remus said irritated. “And apparently I was the next best thing.” And he sighed so heavily that he felt a sharp pain in his ribs.


“Prongs is not an idiot, but sometimes he doesn’t understand even simplest things,” Remus bickered. “Ah, he tests my patience today, no, I need to calm down,” he ranted. “Do you mind me lying here for a moment? Actually I don’t care, I can’t be around Prongs right now.”


And Remus laid down on the blanket, he put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. Peace and quiet was all he needed right now just for five minutes.


“Mooney are you alright?” Sirius asked obviously worried about his friend.


“Yes, just let me lie here for ten minutes and I will be fine,” Remus stated without opening his eyes.


After a couple of minutes Remus started to feel how his body calms down, James had really made his blood boil. But it was just because his nervous system was hanging by its last thread. He couldn’t imagine how they will survive the exams without dying.


He opened his eyes and looked at Sirius and Alex. “What are you revising?” he asked to his friends.


“I am reading my magic history notes for the last three hours, but I think that is useless I can’t remember anything,” Sirius was devastated.


“And you Alex?” Remus turned his head towards Alex.


“I am trying out all the spells that we had learnt over the years,” she mumbled without even looking up from her notes.


“Why do you even need to do that?” Remus was surprised. “You know all the spells backwards and without words, why you need to repeat them all?”


“Exactly my thoughts,” Sirius added silently.


“So that I am sure that I know them backwards,” Alex looked at Remus and smiled way too sweetly at him.


Remus didn’t understood Alex, she was such a talented witch, magic was truly in her blood, but still she wanted to be sure that she knows everything perfectly. She never bragged about it, but it was clear as a day at least to them who knew her.




Everybody was worried about N.E.W.T.s but nobody expected for it to come so fast. Time just flew by and all of them realized that they were sitting in DADA exam already.


And how fast exams started they ended and they were free from studying and revising. The last exam had ended and Remus found himself sitting on the blanket by the lake once again with Peter, Lily and Alex, they were waiting for James and Sirius to come back from kitchen where they had gone to steal some food so they could celebrate the end of N.E.W.T.s.


Warm June day was treating them well, sun was shining and light breeze was in the air. Everyone had cozied up on the blankets and talked about rubbish, nobody wanted to talk about serious things. Remus laid on his back and looked at beautiful light blue sky.


He wandered about school ending and the fact that every one of them had their own plans after school, and maybe their friendship wouldn’t be the same after graduating. But maybe… Remus believed that Marauders will stick together if not for forever than for a long time for sure.


“Lily,” Remus heard Alex spoke, “can you please pass me some pumpkin juice?”


“Maybe you want something stronger?” Sirius asked to Alex. Remus turned his head and saw how Sirius took out of his robes flask of firewhiskey.


“Yes, please,” Alex took the flask from Sirius and held it up to air. “To the end of our last year,” she said and sipped. Then she gave it to James who sat next to her.


“To friendship,” he toasted and drank a gulp of firewhiskey. He passed the flask and their little ritual began.


“To amazing seven years,” said Lily.


“To loyalty,” next was Peter.


“To Marauders,” shouted Remus when flask was in his arm, everyone joined in with cheers.


“To love,” said Sirius taking the flask from Remus’s hand.


“Merlin, Alex!” James shrieked. “What the hell have you done to our Padfoot?! He is completely different person than year ago,” James dramatically waved his arms and pretended to be deeply offended. Everybody started to laugh.


But James was right, Sirius had changed. Remus was one hundred percent sure that beginning of the year Sirius didn’t even realized that this end of the term Sirius was even possible.


“Oh, shut up!” Sirius tried to punch James, but he was unsuccessful because James managed to avoid Sirius.


“But of course,” Lily exaggeratedly sadly spoke, “boys will be boys.” And once again everybody laughed.




Couple of days had passed since the last exam, all Marauders sat at the Three Broomsticks and drank some butterbeer. It was their last visit to Hogsmeade as students, and it was just a privilege to seventh years, because tomorrow they are leaving Hogwarts for the last time.


They had spent wonderful day, they visited Honeydukes and Zonko’s Joke Shop, but now they all sat in the pub and just spent some time talking between themselves.


Girls did some last minute shopping, noting that they didn’t need to wait for them. Looked like James and Sirius are relieved about that, they didn’t wanted to participate in this shopping spree.


For a while they talked about their future plans, what each of them will do after school. Remus noticed that Sirius was unusually quiet, it was visible that he tried to look like he is participating in this conversation but actually Sirius’s thoughts were far away.


Remus wanted to say something to Sirius, but then he suddenly stood up.


“I have to do something,” he said, “don’t wait for me. See you in school.” And he left, everybody watched how Sirius leaves and disappears in the streets of Hogsmeade.


“What was that?” James asked.


“No clue,” Remus also was stunned.


Sirius returned to school just in time for dinner. Nobody knew where he was all afternoon.


“Hey, where were you?” Alex asked when Sirius sat by the table.


“Forgot that I had to buy some things,” he smiled and answered casually. “Good that I remembered before it was too late.”


Remus knew this Sirius’s tone, that meant just one thing – he actually didn’t wanted to talk about where he were all afternoon. But Remus couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing this time.


After dinner they went to their bedroom. Sirius laid in his bed, put one of his hand behind his head and dreamily looked at ceiling.


“Padfoot, are you alright?” suspiciously James asked to Sirius obviously worried about his friend.


“Just fantastic,” Sirius answered smiling.


“Do you want to enlighten us?” Remus asked.


Sirius just smiled and took out of his pocket little, black leather box.



Sirius exited the Three Broomsticks and walked the streets of Hogsmeade looking for the right shop. He never had a need after jeweler so he didn’t knew where that kind of shop was.


While sitting at the Three Broomsticks and listening to all future plans he had realized that he wanted to spend all of his life with Alex. He had decided that he is going to marry her. This decision for Sirius felt as simple and necessary as breathing. And that’s why now he needed a ring.


After a couple of minutes he found the right place. He went inside without a hesitation and rang the bell by the counter announcing that there was a new customer.


For more than a half hour Sirius looked at all kinds of engagement rings, but something didn’t felt right. It didn’t seemed that engagement ring would suit Alex, that she would even like one.


“I need to think,” he said to the shop owner and went and sat down in one of the chairs which was in the store.


He needed to find perfect ring, he was sure about that. Alex was special, she needed something unique, something that nobody else had.


Sirius started to walk around the shop looking at all the jewelry on the display. And the he saw it – black stone rings. That was what he was looking for.


“What kind of rings are those?” Sirius turned to the shop owner. He came up and looked at what Sirius was pointing.


“They are wedding rings,” he explained. “Made from the black onyx stone.”


“Perfect,” Sirius said, “I’ll take two of them.”


“Pair of them is 250 galleons,” sounded like the owned didn’t believe that Sirius had that kind of money.


“Very well,” Sirius turned and smiled. “And what about the size?”


“They are charmed to fit every finger they are on, they will fit for anyone,” explained owner still suspiciously studying Sirius.


“Like I said,” Sirius spoke, “I’ll take two.”


“Very well sir,” owner said, took the rings out of display and went behind the counter. “Are you going to pay now or shall we take money out of your Gringotts vault?” he asked.


Sirius didn’t liked to spend parents money, but this time he pushed all his morals away, because it was kind of amusing – to pay for wedding rings with parents’ money, because he didn’t actually liked his parents.


“From Gringotts vault,” he answered.


“Please fill this form,” owner handed him parchment which Sirius filled out. It requested his name, vault number and some other information which would prove that he is allowed to make this purchase.


“Mister Black,” shop owner smiled to him taking the form out of his hands and handing him the box with rings in them. “Have a nice day!” he wished.


Sirius thanked and walked out of the store. He knew that owner was so kind at the end just because he was Black. He hated situations like these, but now the fact that he was Black suited for him very well.


Sirius didn’t rushed to school, he slowly walked around Hogsmeade and tried to figure out how he will propose to Alex.




After dinner Sirius entered the bedroom and laid in his bed.


“Padfoot, are you alright?” it was James who asked the question. Apparently Sirius had shocked all his friends so abruptly leaving the pub.


“Just fantastic,” Sirius answered and smiled very dreamy smile.


“Do you want to enlighten us?” it was Remus, he probably worried about Alex, there was no other explanation.


He was touched by their friends’ worries, it meant a lot to him. He smiled and took out of his pocket little, black leather box. He lifted it and twisted it in his fingers.


James whistled, Sirius looked at them and with a full one hundred percent confidence stated: “I love Alex and I can’t imagine my life without her, I will marry her.”


“Damn it, Padfoot, you are completely different person,” James was surprised, he ran his hands through his messy hair.


“Are you sure?” Remus asked with caution.


“Yes,” Sirius confessed. “I don’t want to live without her.”


“Can we see the ring?” Peter asked excitedly. Sirius opened the box and showed them the rings.


“That is not an engagement ring,” Peter stated.


“I know,” Sirius said, “but Alex isn’t ordinary girl, and knowing her she wouldn’t even like an engagement ring, that’s why I bought wedding rings.”


“She will love them,” Remus spoke after a moment of silence. “Black is her favourite colour.”


“How ironic,” Sirius laughed. He was amused by the fact that her favourite colour is black and that his last name also is Black.


“When are you going to propose?” James asked.


“Tomorrow evening, when we will be in France,” Sirius answered, he had planned everything out.


“That’s great,” Remus smiled, Sirius was relieved that Remus wasn’t objecting.


“It just feels so natural,” Sirius mentioned. “I know that I want to spend rest of my life with her.”


“Congratulation, man,” James cheered.


He still needed to pack, but Sirius just continued to lay on the bed and thought about how wonderful it will be – to marry Alex. He loved her, he loved Alex Watson. Hmm, Alex Black – that sounded amazing.



They all sat in the Hogwarts Express and left Hogwarts for the last time. It was a bittersweet moment, but Lily knew that it was bound to happen.


“Lily, what are you thinking about?” James asked squeezing her hand.


“This is the last time being on this train,” she said with a little sadness in her voice.


“You don’t have to be so melancholic about it,” James comforted her. “Everything will be fine.”


“I know,” she said and lightly kissed James on lips.


“Go and find a free carriage,” Sirius shouted.


“Who would have said that,” Lily snapped back.


For the last months they acted like two lovebirds, they tried not to show their affections publicly but it was so obvious.


“By the way, Alex,” Lily said. “I think that you owe me ten galleons,” and Lily smirked.


“Oh,” Alex said slowly. “Are you sure about that?” she asked pretending that there were possibility that Lily hadn’t won their bet.


“Oh, yes,” Lily laughed. “I am sure.”


“What was the bet about?” Sirius asked interested in this conversation.


“Fine,” Alex said smirking and tried to find her valet to pay Lily her ten galleons.


“Can someone please explain?” James insisted.


“Hmm,” Alex dragged out handing money to Lily. Lily had suspicion that Alex really didn’t wanted to talk about the bet.


“Maybe some other time,” Lily mentioned trying to help Alex out.


“No, I want to know what this bet was about?” now it was Sirius who insisted.


Lily looked at Alex who was now frowning, she really didn’t wanted to talk about that. Sirius bugged her to make her tell.


“Fine,” she finally said. “I had a bet with Lily that you will not find a girl who will be the reason for you to change until the end of this school year,” she angrily stared at Sirius. “Happy now?!”


Sirius didn’t even looked shocked, he just started to laugh. His body was shaking with laughter. Lily even thought that he could start crying from all this laughter. Only couple of minutes later Sirius’s laugh subsided.


“What else have you betted on?” he asked Alex when he had finally stopped laughing.


“Oh, shut up,” Alex was a little pissed off. She looked out the window and didn’t wanted to look at Sirius.


“When did you arranged this bet?” it was James who asked.


“At the first this year’s visit to Hogsmeade,” Lily quietly confessed.


“Oh,” James said. “I think that this bet was doomed from the start,” Lily suspiciously studied James but said nothing.


The rest of the trip they played exploding snap. Seemed like everyone is sad in their own way about leaving Hogwarts. Time flew by and they arrived at the King’s Cross station.


“You have to come and visit me,” Alex said to Lily when they were looking for free trolleys.


“That would be great,” Lily was excited. “I will sent you an owl in a couple of days.”


“We have to go to Paris,” Alex suggested.


“I have never been there,” Lily shouted. “Is this for real, can we actually go there?”


“Of course!” Alex confirmed. “It can be our little girls’ trip, guys can entertain themselves!”


“I can imagine James’s face when I’ll tell him,” Lily laughed.


They had found some trolleys and now pushed them towards boys and their trunks.


When all the things had been put on the trolleys, they all said their good-byes. They hugged and wished luck and hoped for quick reunion. They also said good-byes to all of the rest seventh years.


“Wait for my letter,” Lily said one last time hugging Alex.


“I will,” she answered. “See you soon!”


“Good luck, mate!” Remus hugged Sirius and slapped him on his back. Lily didn’t understood why Remus was so keen on wishing luck to Sirius, but she had no time to think about that, because she was next who Remus hugged.


Finally everybody was ready to walk out into muggle world, Lily crossed the barrier, school was over and she needed to make plans for her future.

A/N: Just one last chapter left!

Chapter 14: Scars
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She laid on the sunbathing chair in her mansion’s yard and waited for Sirius to arrive. Last sunlight of the day coloured sky in a warm pink tone, it was perfect and warm June’s evening. Alex had light blue, lightweight denim sundress and Chuck Taylors on. She felt comfortable and most important in peace with herself.


Alex closed her eyes and enjoyed this moment – there was no drama in her life, just peace and love. She didn’t need anything more, because she was happy. She smiled and cheerfully sighed.


“Hello, my love,” she heard Sirius arriving, Alex opened her eyes and watched how he walked to her. Oh, what a sight! He sat down behind her back, and now she could lean fully against his chest.


“Hi,” she greeted, while Sirius was kissing her neck. “Where were you so long?” she asked.


“Sorry,” he said in her neck, “Potters wanted to chat.”


“It’s fine,” Alex said smiling, getting more comfortable against Sirius’s chest, he hugged her around the waist.


Alex closed her eyes once again, she just enjoyed this feeling when Sirius’s hands was around her and she felt safe. It seemed like nothing could go wrong.


They sat like this for a long time, Alex looked over the calm sea which was so beautiful tonight, this was an amazing evening.


“Alex,” Sirius quietly spoke by her ear, “what would you say if we get married?”


Alex felt how her body stopped breathing, her eyes widened, she couldn’t believe what Sirius had just said. After a while she started to breathe again and pulled all her strength together to say something.


“What do you mean?” that was a stupid question, but it was the best she could come up with.


“I want for you to become my wife,” Sirius said still holding her in his embrace.


Alex sat up straight and turned to Sirius. Sirius was all business, he had really meant it. Alex lightly touched her lips with her fingers, she still was way too shocked to say something.


“What do you say?” Sirius asked hopefully and he took out of his pocket a little black leather box. He opened it, there on a dark red velvet laid two beautiful black onyx stone rings.


Sirius had bought them wedding rings, he didn’t even bothered for engagement ring. If she thought for a moment about it, Alex even didn’t wanted and engagement ring, she had never liked those, they were too shiny and redundant. And Sirius had found perfect wedding rings. Alex just couldn’t believe it.


“I…” she started to speak, but couldn’t say anything more. Alex felt like her body had forgotten how to breathe again, her head started to spin.


“I love you more than anything in this world,” Sirius spoke looking at Alex. “I realized that I cannot live without you, I just don’t want it, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”


Alex looked up from the rings and looked into Sirius’s dashing grey eyes, they were full of warmth and love. Alex realized that she had inhaled with almost a pain in her chest.


“I want to be with you every minute in every day, forever,” Sirius took out one of the rings from the box and reached out for Alex’s hand. “I want to build a family with you, because you are the one and only. I couldn’t even imagine that one day I would love someone as much as I love you, and now I cannot live without this.”


Alex couldn’t realize why her mind wouldn’t cooperate with her body, Alex wanted to say something, but her mouth refused to form the words.


“I can imagine you barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making dinner for a bunch of kids,” Sirius’s voice was so sweet and true.


Oh, no, Alex suddenly felt like she is watching all of this from far away, Sirius almost touched her ring finger with the black stone ring. No, no, no, no, no, and Alex sharply withdraw her hand.


“Sirius…” her body finally let her speak, but unfortunately it was all that she could manage to say. She stood up as if she wanted to get away from him as fast as possible.


“We don’t have to get married right away, we can wait,” Sirius stood up as well, “we don’t need to rush, we can start to build our family whenever we want.”


Alex thought that she is feeling physical pain in her chest, she was afraid that she could suffocate, because it felt like her body just didn’t wanted to breathe. She grabbed her chest with one hand trying to make the pain go away.


Sirius wanted to marry her, he wanted a family, he just couldn’t wait when they will have children and Alex barefoot and pregnant would walk through the corridors of this house. Alex watched how Sirius walk towards her and hugs her. She hid her face to his chest not knowing how she is still alive, because her body breathed with difficulties.


“Hey, my love,” Sirius said quietly, “please say something.”


Alex had to gather all her strength to lift her head up and say something.


“Sirius,” she begun, “I… I…” but the tongue wasn’t cooperating. She couldn’t say what she wanted. She just couldn’t say what was important, she couldn’t say what she had never said to anybody in her life. Alex just loosened out of his grip and started to back away.


“Alex, you have to stop running away from me,” he said with a light smile playing on his lips.


Alex hugged herself and while shaking her head continued to back away from him. Sirius just kept on standing. Alex saw how his expression changed, hopefulness was replaced with disappointment and pain. Alex bit her lip, but it was too late, tears broke from her eyes.


“I don’t understand,” Sirius said in almost a whisper. “Don’t you want to be with me?”


Alex just looked at him, she never wanted to see that expression on his beautiful face. It made her heart broke in a thousand pieces. Alex just could shake her head and cry.


“Sirius, I…” her voice broke again, she couldn’t bring herself to form a sentence.


“Why don’t you want to be with me?” his voice was so full of disbelief.


Sirius started slowly to come closer to her and she kept on backing away, Alex couldn’t endure his touch, it was too much right now.


“Alex…” he reached out a hand as almost calling her back.


Alex kept backing away, she sobbed so much that her body shook uncontrollably. Alex wiped away her tears and for the last time tried to speak.


“Please, forgive me,” she gasped and closed her eyes to concentrate. And she apparated away leaving Sirius alone.



Sirius looked at the empty space where just moments ago Alex stood. He couldn’t move, Sirius felt his chest moving when he breathed, he felt anger forming in him. He felt how box cut into his palm when he squeezed it.


It felt like hours had passed by when he finally moved, but actually it was just a couple of minutes. He went to the stone balustrade and leaned on it with his hands, he bent his head down and felt how sharp knife cuts deep in his heart.


What the hell just happened? Sirius couldn’t grip the moment. He didn’t knew what to think, how to begin to understand this situation, his thoughts ran through his mind at a lightning speed, and it was impossible to catch even one of them. There was too many questions.


Why Alex rejected him? Why she didn’t explained anything? Why did she apparated away? What had he done wrong? Was it true – Alex didn’t wanted to be with him? Did she even loved him?


Sirius opened the box and looked at the rings, now they felt out of place. He laughed dry and sad laugh. He closed the box and was ready to throw it in the sea, but then he changed his mind.


Sirius inhaled and exhaled a couple of times. Something about all of this wasn’t right. Something in Alex’s behavior was off, but he couldn’t put a finger on what exactly. Something was way too off. Emotions couldn’t let him think straight, all logical thinking was lost.


He leaned against the balustrade and concentrated on his breathing to try and calm himself down. He needed to think, he needed to understand what had just happened. Alex acted strangely.


At first he thought that Alex is just shocked about his proposal, but that wasn’t it. He knew Alex, she was very logical, Sirius’s proposal couldn’t scare her off that easily. But she left, she ran away once again.


Sirius went inside, he found a loose parchment and wrote a quick note. He put it down on the grand piano where Alex would definitely find it. He took out one ring from the box and placed it on the note. Then Sirius went to fireplace and flooed away.


He got out in the Potters’ kitchen and sat by the table. He felt like his legs couldn’t carry him anymore. He had no clue what to do now, how to keep living. Sirius looked at his hands which was pulled into fists, he felt a ball of pain in his chest.


Sirius bit his lip, he didn’t wanted to cry, but he felt tears building up, he bit harder until he felt blood in his mouth. One solitary tear fell down his cheek, and Sirius started to bang his fists against the table, it hurt like nothing ever before and he didn’t knew how to deal with it.


“Sirius,” James rushed in the kitchen, he was surprised to see Sirius there, “what happened?” James was worried.


“I don’t know,” Sirius said truly, he had no clue what the hell had happened.


“What do you mean?” James came to the table and carefully studied Sirius.


“She just apparated away,” Sirius said in a voice that could belong to a dead man.


“She rejected your proposal?” James asked quietly, there was a surprise in his voice.


Sirius continued to look at the table and his fists, he couldn’t look up to James. Sirius didn’t wanted to see James’s expression that would made him broke down completely.


“She didn’t say anything, just “sorry” before she apparated,” Sirius continued to speak in that grave voice that he didn’t recognize.


He began to hit table once again, James tried to stop him, but Sirius jumped to his feet. James was a little scared, he backed away a couple steps.


“I need to get away from here,” Sirius said still not looking at James, he wouldn’t survive his look, not now, not today.


Sirius stormed out of the kitchen, he ran away, Sirius wanted to get away from everything, from everyone. Pain was so unbearable that he couldn’t be around other people.



She apparated to the nearest beach and fell down to her knees in white sand. She grasped her chest, still it felt like her body would give up breathing forever. But she inhaled as deeply as she could manage and then she screamed, and screamed and cried until it felt like her lungs would explode.


She buried her hands in sand and cried, it was so painful, she couldn’t even get up on her feet, she just kneeled in the sand. She pressed her forehead to the sand and kept on crying, she wanted for it all to end, she didn’t wanted to feel this pain.


After a long time she calmed down just enough to stand up. She still wasn’t sure that her body would support an option to breath, but she had no choice.


Stupid, stupid, stupid girl, she cursed herself in her mind. Why she needed to run away from Sirius? Alex was afraid that this time she wouldn’t be forgiven. This was way too serious. She stood in the beach and continued to curse herself.


Her body shook from all the emotions. She had never experienced something like that, she suffered emotionally so much that it reflected physically.


Alex shook her head, she couldn’t lose Sirius. She was ready to do anything to get him back. She loved him more than anything to lose him now. But she had fucked it up, typical Alex.


It was almost dark outside when she apparated back to the mansion. She needed to find Sirius and just at least try to explain, if he would listen to her. But she needed to try, she couldn’t give up.


She rushed inside where everything was dark, Alex had suspicion that Sirius had left already, but still she searched all the house not finding him there, before returning to living room.


Alex felt how she started to sob uncontrollably, her mind said that she needed to continue the search, probably Sirius was at Potters, but her body refused to move. She clumsily stepped to the grand piano and leaned to hold her balance.


And then she saw the note and the ring. Alex grabbed the note and the ring and walked to the window to read it.


In case you change your mind…


That was all that was written, she cried out loud. She looked at the ring, Sirius thought that she could change her mind. She didn’t deserve him, not after all, not after today, most definitely not after this note. Alex put a hand over her mouth and tried not to cry too loudly. How the hell I always screw up everything?


With shaking hands she put on a ring on her ring finger, it snug around it. She looked at the ring, it was perfect. Alex pushed that hand to her heart, all her body shivered, pain was just too great.


Alex heard a sound behind her. She opened her eyes in disbelief. No way that Sirius was still here. Could everything turn around? She turned, but the living room was dark, she couldn’t see anyone.


Alex moved a couple steps towards, she took out her wand to light the candles, but she couldn’t even manage to rise her hand, when a curse hit her body. Alex felt how her legs and arms became wobbly, everything in front of her eyes became pitch black. Alex fell.


The last thing she heard was man’s cold voice which spoke the words of the Stunning spell.


Her unconscious body hit the floor with a loud thud noise. She laid on the floor in her living room with a wand in one hand and a black onyx stone ring on the other. Man who cast the spell picked her up from the floor, stepped out in the yard and apparated away.



A/N: My apologies for short chapter but I needed for this to stand on its own. I always knew how this part will end, but still it was so hard to write this chapter, because I had fallen in love with these two characters.


But this was necessary to set up a sequel, there is still a lot of challenges ahead for Alex and Sirius. What can I say - I just like to build nice things and then burn them down to the ground.

Thanks to everyone who read this!


Sequel "Bruises" is up and running!