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Just a Boy by sadlilboygirl

Format: Novella
Chapters: 3
Word Count: 1,436

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Contains profanity

Genres: Drama, Action/Adventure
Characters: Harry, Bellatrix, Lucius, Narcissa, Draco, Pansy
Pairings: Other Pairing

First Published: 05/23/2020
Last Chapter: 05/25/2020
Last Updated: 05/25/2020


When Draco comes to Howarts, people know him for being mean to other students, cokcy, and dramatic. But no one knows what he goes through outside of Hogwarts and the things he has to do.

Chapter 1: It all begins
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Draco was looking outside the window in deep thought. It was raining hard that day and he loved when it rained. He got distracted by it when he was supposed to be packing his stuff for Hogwarts. He was looking for his wand which he would always loose but find it again last minute every year. He instead grabbed and old book that he had made from his 1-4 year. He didn't find it last year thinking he lost it which he was upset about. The book had pictures of him and his friends. 5 year wasn't there since he obviously lost it, and was looking back at old pictures from the yule ball. He looked like he wanted to smile but continued flipping through pages. He was already told the news about him having to kill Dumbledore and becoming a death eater. What made him more sad was that this year was going to be different. Narcissa knocked on his door.


"Come in" he said while still looking at the book.


"Oh I remember this, I saw it once in your room but never mentioned it to you since you'd think I'd be going through your stuff" she said with a chuckle.


"Why, why does it have to be me mum... I'm just a kid and you know I'm not really as tough as i seem" he said shaking his head with confusion.


"I know, I really wish it wasn't you either. But you will always be a strong tough person, even if people see the soft side of you. I know you hate when people are gonna see your not as tough as you may seem but at least they'll understand." she said trying to reassure him.


After a moment of silence she said,"I know you might act like your all grown and stuff but your still just a boy."


That hit him hard in his heart. Not because he didn't like that she called him a boy, but because he knew it was true. He knew that he was still young and in school but he was given a hard task that he can't deny. His eyes watered fast and started crying quietly. Narcissa hugged him as tear streaks rolled down her cheek holding his head on her shoulder. They sat there for a while and she got up to leave.


"Don't worry Draco, I understand you and will always be here for you" she said calmly as she closed his door.

Chapter 2: A struggle
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Draco was on the Hogwarts express sitting with Pansy and Blaise. Though he was talking to them he still wouldn't be in a better mood anytime soon since all he had on his mind was his mission. Even though Snape had made a vow, he didn't feel safe at all. He looked outside as it was a gloomy day hoping it would rain. He saw in the corner of his eyes Pansy looking at him, but he had already been hearing rumors of her taking a liking in him. He saw that they were approaching Hogwarts which started to make his stomach aching, he felt sick. He went to the bathroom trying to see if he needed to vomit. He just stood there and looked at himself in the mirror and felt that burning knot in your throat when you want to cry. Tears rolled down his face knowing that he doesn't want to kill anyone and wishes he can just be normal. He didn't give a fuck anymore about anything right now he just wanted to get it over with. He heard a knock on the door; it was Blaise. 


"Are you good Draco?", he said probably guessing he was crying or really upset.


"Yeah i'm good", Draco said trying to talk in his normal voice.


That is the stupidest fucking lie i can think of, Draco told himself in his head.


When Draco got off the train Crab and Goyle tried getting his attention with a hey but Draco didn't even notice them and kept on walking. They looked confused and wanted to know what he was going through since they knew him since childhood. As Dumbledore was talking before they began their feast, Draco was deep in thought just thinking of things that would put him in a better mood. He didn't wanna end up like a depressed teenage boy but that's how he thought he was starting to look. All during the next day in all of his classes he wasn't able to pay attention. It was just too much for him to accept the fact that he was a death eater and had to kill someone he didn't want to kill. It's not that he liked Dumbledore which he didn't, it's just that he was afraid to do it. He didn't want anyone to know he was afraid. 


It had already been a couple months. Draco had saw Harry talking to someone and knew what it was about. He tried leaving as soon as possible to go somewhere, anywhere. He felt that he needed to get all of his anger and sadness out and decided to go to the bathroom were he would think he'd be alone. Harry followed him there which Draco didn't notice. As he was crying he saw Harry and did the only thing he needed to do to relieve his anger which was to hurt Harry. They continued trying to hurt each other when he got Draco. Draco wasn't crying because of the pain, just a little bit. But was crying since he felt overwhelmed.


If Harry was able to get me, how the hell do I expect myself to KILL someone, he thought to himself as he laid there on the bathroom floor.  I am afraid.


Luckily Snape came to heal Draco. 


How is Draco going to kill Dumbledore if he got hurt in a fight? , Snape thought worried but irritated since he knew Draco was afraid.


Chapter 3: An End to it All
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Draco comes outside where everyone else is to see Voldemort and the death eaters. He sees Hagrid standing with Harry in his arms already knowing he's dead before Voldemort said anything. 


"Holy shit; after all these years Harry Potter is actually dead. I actually feel really bad after he just saved my life from the fire earlier", he thought with no emotion on his face.


He was distracted when his parents started to call him over to join them. He had some hesitation by the looks of it as other students turned their heads to Draco wondering if he was really gonna do it.


"What the hell. I don't want to be a death eater I just want to be normal. But if I don't go my father will be very disappointed, but my mother not so much"


Draco walked over knowing that he had no choice.


Draco POV


I walked over there with nothing but shame and embarrassment. Ashamed since I didn't try to stand up for myself. Embarrassed since everyone was watching me make the wrong choice and knowing this is not what I want at all. Then I saw Potter get out of Hagrid's hands. He was alive! I quickly ran over to grab his wand and threw it to him so that he can fight Voldemort. My father ashamed and mad at me told my mother we should go. As I walked away leaving Hogwarts, I felt sad because this is NOT the way I wanted to leave Hogwarts. My mother holding my hand, told me it would be okay as she saw the sadness in my eyes. As we walked home I couldn't help but think about how Harry was alive. But my mother explained everything on the way home. It was starting to rain as I got inside. When I went in my room I went to lay on my bed and look outside to see the rain knowing it was the only thing right now that would kind of put me in a better mood. I grabbed a muggle book that Bellatrix gave to me as a joke. It was surprisingly interesting as it was called The Graveyard Book. 


A month later Draco wrote a letter to Harry saying he was sorry for what happened and for who his parents killed explaining he didn't want to be apart of it. Harry wrote a letter back apologizing and saying they were on good terms. Draco felt relief to know this as considered Harry as a friend.