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I always knew it's you by ScaredSissi

Format: Novella
Chapters: 3
Word Count: 10,457
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Contains profanity, Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Lupin, A. Longbottom, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: Remus/OC, James/Lily

First Published: 06/27/2016
Last Chapter: 08/09/2016
Last Updated: 08/09/2016

She has always dreamed of being in love. Not just any kind of dull, everyday love. A raging, earth shattering, relentless love, one that is the work of destiny, not just lonely nights and vast amounts of wine. Too bad he doesn't acknowledge her existence. Too bad he is full of secrets. Too bad that Hogwarts of the 70's is not the most romantic of places. Too bad that even with the greatest of loves come consequences. Is she ready to endure the love of her life? 

Chapter 1: Of moonwalkers and introductions (prequel)
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Author’s note­: Hello dear reader! This was (and still is) my first story, which i started writing three years ago. I got distracted, but now, as I'm starting a new life, I decided to give it another shot, this time for real. Be patient with me, I'm begging you :D.  I would really appreciate any kind of feedback, so I could improve myself. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer:  I wished upon a star to create the most amazing piece of art, that would be celebrated by millions of people, and thus Harry Potter was born.  Nah, Harry Potter belongs to wonderful J.K. Rowling.


Tuesday, December 6th  1976, 05.00

The  Space.

 It’s so mysterious and beautiful. It spans infinite stars and gallaxies. Just thinking about it makes me feel small, worthless, unimportant. But is it really infinite? Is there intelligent life out there ? Are we considered intelligent life by aliens? What happens when you die ? Do we simply stop existing or reincarnate? Oh how cool would it be if we could just regenerate like the lad from Doctor Who !

Okay. Seriously, how could I ever think drinking coffee after 2 P.M.  is a good idea ? I should just put the blame on Lily. Apparently, she thinks that by my everyday need of some healthy afternoon napping  I deprive myself of life, even though I’ve never missed any of our annual six to nine hours long cramming sessions. Talk about wasting life. Nevertheless, by my desperate efforts to overcome the oh so passionate need to nap, I had to resort to desperate measures- as in coffee.

Which brings me here. It’s almost five in the morning and I’m sitting on a  window sill in our Gryffie common room, having nothing better to do but watch the full moon slowly disappear and contemplate the issues of life . I made the decision to come down here half an hour ago, beacause I just couldn’t stand all the pointless shifting in my bed,  getting all sweaty from the heavy covers, while repeating the mantra:

„Just try to sleep, Anna. You need to sleep. You still have 8 (this number kept decreasing) hours of sleep.“

No results were noticed, so I just gave up and miraculously managed to cross the room without waking any of my lucky-enough-to-be-sleeping friends. How will I even be able to survive today,  without as much as a single hour of sleep ? We even have the morning killer combo of double potions, double Transfiguration, then Merlin’s gift to students- Care of magical creatures, which I ace and love, love, love and Herbology. After that, I can finally nap, life or no life!

A desperate thought of possible oncoming sleepiness crossed my mind as I rubbed my eyes violently.

I considered hitting the sack, when  suddenly I heard the faint sound of footsteps outside, in the hall. I thought I was imagining it out of my poor bored mind at first, but they kept getting louder. Somebody is trying to get in. After curfew! Or.. before?  Well, I´m not much of a social bird, but I´ve never thought it was common for people to go on casual strolls around the castle at 5 A.M. Even if it was, I would have noticed them pass by. Merlin, Filch would have noticed them ! Okay, calm down, breathe in, breathe out. Focus. Multiple footsteps. That means  like there´s more than a single person, right? I´ve never really been really into investigating,as the closest I´ve ever gotten to detective was watching  Charlie's Angels on cable. I´m too much of a muggle for my own good.


 That must be it ! That psycho cult reigned by"He who must not be named"-as in Lord Voldemort, darkest wizard of our time and mass murderer. I‘ve heard some rumours about deatheater group being formed  here, in Hogwarts, but I was too scared to consider it true.  Yeah, I longed for excitement, but not really one of this kind.

I panicked.

I left my wand in the bedroom. You know all the „Hogwarts is the safest place on Earth“ propaganda. Safest place my arse! What if I died today? Will I float around here like Myrtle, that annoying git that keeps bothering us when we have a personal pool party in the prefect’s bathroom ?

 NO! Think straight. Logic. Hide!

I heard the portrait wiggle and quickly jumped of the window sill. I crouched behind a big red stuffed armchair and waited. The portrait hole was opening. I held my shaking hands to my chest, my breathing heavy and uneven. The portrait hole opened only to reveal.. nothing. NOTHING. Literally. What the hell?

I remained hidden  and tried taking it all in. Then I heard something simmilar to jerking of a fabric and out of thin air materialised The Marauders.

„AAAAH!“I jumped in surpise while pointing my finger at them accusingly.

„BAAAAA!“ they screamed in unison as they backed away from me, their expressions imitating deer in the headlights.

„What are YOU doing here ?“ we all screamed in unison.

I got my word first. „What am I doing here? Really did YOU just ask me that? Can’t a girl sit innocently in the window of a room that’s suppossed to be made for everyone to sit in at an unfortunate time of 5 A.M. without somebody accusing her ..of something?“ I rambled, out of surprise and my raising anger. How dare they make me so scared, then expect an explanation from me.

  „I should be the one asking the questions!“ I declared, with my hand raised in the air. „Why couldn’t I see you coming ? You..You simply appeared. Wait, did you apparate? But you can’t do that in Hogwarts! And what were you doing out in the night ? Is this a part of another one of your stupid pranks?“

I can’t believe I acted like a hysterical psycho in front of them. It’s not just that I always tried to maintain the calm and collected image, which I basically murdered right now, it’s THE MARAUDERS.

 I took a long look at them. My gaze landed on Black, looking a little baffled, but it was apparent that he was trying to come up with some lie, that would sound legit enough to cover up their real doing.

Sirius, the shining star of their group.(ha ha) The boy who managed to get over the prejudice of his name and became the most popular boy (man?) at school. The descriptions of his overwhelming handsomeness were gracing the diaries of many adolescent girls. With his muscular built, sharp features, deep gray eyes and shampoo- commercial silky black hair, he was the kind of human being, that was just too perfect so you decided to ignore it for the sake of your own confidence.

Also a smug, self- centered jackass, just like his best friend James Potter, who, in addition, was a perfect example of a captain of the quidditch team cliché. Chaser, winner of four house cups and genetic lottery. (And the unofficial award Best butt 1975)

 The only difference between those two was that Black was after everything that was willing to do him (and having the most impressive boobs to waist to ass ratio) while Potter had eyes only for one girl, which happend to be my best mate Lily.

He sure had interesting ways of proving his affection for her.

Like that time in third year, when he, driven by raging hormones, kept on sneaking behind her and unclipping her bra, which lasted him for about four months and made Lily only wear sport bras for a while. Or last year, when he got desperate after she rejected his serenade at the dinner, she found him wasted, in her bed, wearing only underwear and a rose between his teeth, while the soft tones of Barry White were playing. Charming. We still hum „My first, my last, my everything“ to annoy her.

So long story short, they´ve got the looks, they´ve got the reputation and as much as I hate to admit that, they´ve got the brains and are completely aware of it.

Behind Black and Potter stood Peter Pettigrew, who is noticeably less outgoing (or attractive) but not less of a troublemaker. Peter is kind of an interesting subject of my ongoing observation. He seems to agree with anything James or Sirius say, but still doesn’t feel like a brown noser. He is kind of on the short and chubby side and has incredibly messy eating skills,but still he has this kind of charm (which I assume you receive after your Marauders member confirmation).

According to the Hogwarts gossip threadmill, he is the only marauder with a steady girlfriend. I know,I´m still flabbergasted about this piece of information.But if it´s Peter, it´s all nice.

Oh, that brings me to..

My heart abruptly sunk when I realized somebody’s missing.

 „Chillax, Goodwin.What got your knickers in a twist?“James said, trying to stall.

I threw a nasty look at them.

„While we do not question your absolutely legitimate reasons of being here at this ungodly hour, I don’t believe you have the right to demand an explanation from us, as you are not a prefect nor we are any of your business.“ Sirius said with an arrogant grin.

Well, that left me a little dumbfounded. What am I supposed to say to that?

„Don’t pull that face, Anna, Sirius didn’t mean to be so rude. Did you, Padfoot?“ said James amicably.

„Well you certainly sounded like you mean it.“

„I know. I am a wonderful rhetorician.Sorry. Hard night. You would have known I wasn’t being serious-for once- if you ever talked to us. We don’t bite, you know.“

He looked into my eyes, wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and for a minute I thought, that maybe he was trying his charm on me. Bollocks. I am not his type and he certainly isn’t mine.

I desperatedly needed to change the topic, so I blurted out the first thing on my mind.

„Where did you leave the fourth one ?“ I tried hard not to sound too needy. Did I sound too needy?

„Ah, quite the observant one, aren´t you ?“

„Well, you did seem a little incomplete.“ They ARE a little incomplete, if you know what I mean.

„Remus, our beloved, has some business he has to handle right now“, said James with a concerned frown. „The three of us don´t satisfy your needs ?“

Business? What kind of business ? Did he suddenly become a stockbroker, or what? Should I ask?

„Oh the three of you satisfy me very much. Boy, that sounded wrong. Please, forget about it. Anyways, I was just wondering, what kind business specifically, do you have in mind? “

Okay. Curiosity killed the cat.

They looked at each other conspiracionally , when finally Sirius said: „One of his relatives is sick. He had to go check on him. Why do you care ? Does Moony have a special place in your little heart, or are you generally nosy?“

Darn. Busted. Now if I could only use my wit and intelligent speech patterns to get out of this delicate situation...

„Eh, nosy, I guess. Anyways, I guess I should sack the hit now. I mean hit the stack! No! I mean I´m tried. Tired. Sleep. I need. I-I´ll just go.“

Or I can absolutely mortify myself. Well, sounding like an asian tourist asking for the directions to Barrowland can be considered a talent, right?

Nope. And now they were laughing at me. Not with me. At me. I´ve never felt the difference more than now. I am now officially an epithet of pathetic.

I waited for them to finish their laughing, because obviously, they wanted to tell me how I am a pathetic excuse for a witch and that I will never be cool. And you know what? I´m ready for it. I don´t have the energy to run away with shame anyways.

„Go to sleep, Goodwin, Merlin knows you need it“ said Black, cocky grin plastered on his face.

Better than I expected. Still, as if I needed his seal of approval.

„Good night, then, moonwalkers.“

„Night Goodwin, we will inform Remus you´ve been inquiring about him!“James shouted after me, as I was already taking the steps by two.

For a moment I forgot about everything as I tried to open the door in just the right way, that would make it possible for me to stuff myself through, without hinges releasing the screeching moan that would wake everybody up. An urban legend says that the doors were installed by no other than Queen Elizabeth I. herself in her early years of reign.

After managing this James-Bond worthy act, I tiptoed to my bed, which was at the end of the room, neighboring Lily´s bed on the right and bathroom door on the left. Very convenient.

I drew my curtains to get rid of the painful sunlight and started over- analyzing.

So fact no.1: Marauders are up to something. Duh. It better be good if they had to organize it the whole night.

Fact no.2: They looked dirty and battered. They must have been running through the forest. Maybe Sirius got high again and followed the imaginary veela and James and Peter just had to look for his delirious self. This was indeed a real event, that occured last month. Everyone knew about it by the next day and it was a major discussion topic at many parties. Viva la 70´s.

So let´s make it an assumption no.1.

Assumption no.2. The marauders are planning a massive prank, involving something from the forest like a kentaur or a tree.

I´ll have to find out later.

Fact no.3: Remus was missing. Again.

The thing with Remus is, that he keeps disappearing at least once a month. It´s not that I stalk him. NO. I just notice him a little more. I may jump at every possibility of staring at him and kind of remember his schedule (it´s almost the same as mine, to be fair) but it´s all in healthy limits. So as a thoroughly obsessed observant person, I couldn´t let this fact go unnoticed.

It´s the assumption time again.

Assumption concerning Remus no.1: He really has a sick relative and poor health himself. Maybe the sickness is hereditary. Hm. This still sound like an easy way out. Maybe I am over-thinking this, but this looks like a cover up. Like when somebody gets beaten up and then says he fell down the stairs. Ha. Transparent.

Assumption concerning R. no.2: He has some sort of weird hobby like roller disco and has to compete every month.  Whilst this is a really entertaining thought, it seems highly unlikely.

A.C.R. no.3: He has a secret. Like he fights the evil by night and studies by day or works at night to support himself (and/or his already sick family) . It´s not like I´m ever gonna find out. I can´t start seriously stalking him, I´m not a pervert.

 If he would only talk to me.

I´ve had a crush on Remus ever since I remember. It has gotten into a phase, when the word „crush“ feels like it isn´t enough to contain the things I feel for him. I looked it up, just to be sure.  




a. A usually temporary infatuation.

b. One who is the object of such an infatuation.

See? It´s a word thirteen year olds use to descibe Sirius.

Infatuation. What a terrible word to describe one´s feelings. Also, temporary? Who am I kidding?

Also another term- „platonic love“ tends to be used in these situations. Knowing what Plato really meant by the term, it sounds less appealing.

I always compare what I feel to love, but can love be real when it´s onesided? It hardly seems fair.

Solbjørg has always been telling me to forget about him, to try to find another object of my affections and enjoy life instead of moping around because of one guy for six years.

 But it just feels so wrong, to imagine myself with somebody else. And why should I be with somebody, knowing he always will be the second best ? I´ve never really considered Remus perfect, I don´t overlook his mistakes, like that he participates in mischief-making, even though he is a prefect or somethimes has his hair unevenly cut. He just feels perfect for me.

 Even though we never really talked outside of class, or like the „pass me the Tabasco, please“ moments.

The first time we met was on the boat, on our first trip to Hogwarts. We were both scared, children alone for the first time. Everything was new, everyone was a stranger. But he still took my hand when we first saw Hogwarts. For a moment, we sat there overwhelmed,our breath still, mouths ajar, lights of the castle reflecting on our intertwined hands. The sight held not only beauty, but promise to the future, while a part of ourchildhood was coming to an end. It was comforting to have somebody go through that with me.

Ever since then, I wasn´t able to take my mind of Remus.

After what must have been few seconds, but felt like an eternity, he let go of my hand and we let out a nervous laugh. We were too embarassed to talk after that, and didn´t even know each other, so we stayed quiet the rest of the cruise.

Which pretty much never changed. Will it ever?

That was my last thought before drifting to sleep. Oh sweet mercy. 

Chapter 2: Of strudel and unorthodox solutions
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 Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I never have, nor I ever will. If I did, it would be all about a happy family with magical abilities.


Tuesday, December 6th, 1976, 08.22, 6th year´s girl´s dormitory

„Is she still asleep?“

„Yeah. I tried to wake her up, but she just groaned.“

„Should we go without her ? Or take some serious action?“

„What kind of action do you have in mind?“

 „ Maybe we could dump a nice cold bucket of water on her?  That´s a classic.“

„You mean as a punishment for being a lazy anti-morning drone?“

„Sure. Drench her hair and clothes and her precious bed, so she would be even more late. Maybe she would  receive a long lecture about the importance of punctuality from Sluggy resulting in detention. That would teach her ! Or is it too overused? Should we try electroshocks? Or both of these combined?“

„FINE! Fine, I give up!“ I shouted, throwing my blanket of me aggresively.

„It´s yours and your stupid coffee´s fault anyway!“

„Oh, don´t be so grumpy! It´s a beautiful morning, start of a new day filled with joy of having your loved ones near!“

You would swear Alice was on acid. But no, she is just that optimistic.

„You are only happy because it´s the Herbology day.“ Said Solbjørg with a knowing grin.

„It´s the hot replanting partner daaay!“ Lily chimed in.

„Oh stop it guys“, Alice said „you know it´s not just that.“

„I am not sure. Are you lying, or are you being FRANK?“ I said, quite proud of the pun. A true british girl has to love two things: tea and puns.  As I am only half british, you can deduce that I am not too fond of tea.

„ I can’t win with you lot. What about this? I’m freaking starved, so you should stop your pointless banter and go for a breakfast. RIGHT NOW. Oh, and Anna, you look like shit, get yourself together.“ Alice said, annoyed.

„Aye, that’s how I like my mornings, cold and grouchy.“ I said collecting my uniform from where I left it last night.

„ You go without me,my fellows, save yourselves from the excrutiating experience of stomach cramps caused by shoveling everything at once into your greedy mouths.“ I said, wiping my imaginary tears with my jammie-sleeve.

„But, shall we let you face an increasing chance of gastric ulcers on your own?“ asked Lily with concerned expression .

„Well, it is considered true that shared happiness is double happiness and shared sorrow is only half sorrow...“

„Merlin, stop wasting time! Lily. Breakfast. Now. Anna, hurry, we will meet you there,“ordered Solbjørg  and Lily immediately listened. Not that Lily is an obedient person. Not one bit. You just don’t mess with annoyed (hungry/thirsty/sleepy/ raging because of injustice) Solbjørg. Must be a nordic thing.

So I was left alone. This is a rare happening, having three roommates and living in one building with hundreds of other people, while technically not being allowed to go anywhere else.( Boarding school= communism?) Not that I don’t love it here, I do, but I would really appreciate a little more privacy.

That’s why I really enjoy this „me, myself and I“ time.  As a regular teenage girl, I always get these mortifying ideas like running around in underwear, jumping on the beds, shouting the intro of „It’s in his kiss*“, dressed in my poor unsuspecting roommates‘ clothes. And to be honest, I mostly follow them through.

But right now there was no time for my theatrical realization. I ran towards the bathroom,shimmying out of my pajama pants. I threw them along with my t-shirt on the pile next to my bed and tried to put on my uniform in the shortest possible time, without falling down. There was also no time for a long psychological staring into the mirror. (You are young. You are beautiful. You are desired.) So I settled only for the damage control. After looking into the mirror, I found out that Alice was right, I looked like not only I was up all night, but I went for a walk and wandered into hell.

 I’ve never considered myself very attractive. Cute maybe, hot, nah. But this was ridiculous. My light brown (or dark blonde, I never really understood the difference) hair, that’s almost long enough to make people wonder whether I sit on them when I go to toilet, was lying flat on my skull, not straight nor wavy, giving me the whole unhealthy greasy look. My usually big grey eyes were red and my eyelids were swollen like they just couldn’t wait to be closed again. To top it off I had really dark circles underneath them. Gross.

I looked exactly how I felt.

I yawned and rubbed my itchy nose with my hand. There’s no way I can make myself look presentable (at least not like a junkie) and make it to the breakfast in time. At times like this it, being a witch doesn’t really help. You can’t find a reliable hair-straightening spell in our textbooks. Maybe I should start reading Witch Weekly.

 I splashed my face with some water, hoping it would give my slavic features a little colour and put my hair into messy bun. Repulsive or not, I’m not skipping my morning cocoa.

I have eighteen minutes left. I can pull this off.

Thanks to the adrenaline rush caused by knowing what time it was, I finally felt awake. I took my bag and ran towards the Great hall. Please note that if I was told to run for my life, I would probably die.

After four minutes and a few breathers, I arrived to the Great hall. There were only a few latecomers, so I could easily spot my friends, sitting at the Gryffindor table, waiting for me.

„Ah, you lovely lasses always provide me with the warm feeling of friendship.“

„And friendship comes with benefits!“ I said, as I snatched strudel from Lily’s plate and stuffed it into my mouth.

„You really are terrible today. You made us late for breakfast and then ate the last strudel. What is next? Murdering my family? Tipping a cow?“ said Lily sharply.

I looked at Alice, seeking some help and acceptance, but she just shot me a disapproving look.

„Sorry. Well, not actually. It’s too good to be sorry. Best decision of my life.“ I said and filled my mouth with the last piece of the strudel.

„Can you believe her manners ?! You do deserve the ulcers.“

„Sit down Anna, we already have your cocoa prepared for you,“ Said Solbjørg, who always enjoys our fake arguments.

I sat down, while they returned to the topic, that has been interrupted by my arrival.

„Well, I don´t get the concept of getting dates just to go wander around a village, either,“said Lily.

Oh, apparently there is one last Hogsmeade trip scheduled. Yay!

„Don’t let Potter hear that please, that would cost us whole lot of fun we are going to have when he tries to ask you out,“said Solbjørg „and don’t be so sour. We need the change of scenery. And some excitement. By excitement I mean men. And the..uhm , interraction with them, if you know what I mean .Pheromones, endorphins, you can’t argue with that, it’s science.“

That is typical, Solbjørg defending her dating habits. She seems really tough, but in fact she kind of depends on male affection. And as a tall, strong and very blonde nordic girl, she gets plenty of that.

As I wanted to join the conversation with a snide remark about the excitement level of a guy picking his nose in the corner, I felt a strange lump in my throat. I tried to make it go away by drinking the cocoa, but it was no help. I felt like my tongue was too big to fit in my mouth. The conversation went on, but I no longer listened. I frantically tried to swallow, but it was no use.

Maybe if I took one more sip.. Suddenly, my breathing got heavy. I couldn’t swallow the cocoa in my mouth, so it leaked out on my shirt. That brought the attention of my friends to me.

„Anna, you little pig!“ exclaimed Alice while laughing at me.

I looked at her with terror.

„Anna are you ok?“said Lily with concerned expression. „You know I didn’t mean the thing I said about ulcers, right?“

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t swallow. I looked at my hands. My fingers looked like tiny sausages. Strudel.

„Answer me! Whar number am I showing?“ said Solbjørg waving three fingers in front of my face.

My world got blury.

„elp“I managed to blurt out.

I caught a glimpse of McGonnagal near. Lily must have seen her too, because she called to her, indicating to me.

McGonnagal saw how desperate I looked, so she came right away.

„What’s the matter?“ McGonnagal asked with a little irritated tone in her voice. We must be holding her up.

„There is something wrong with Anna, profesor,“said Alice. Well said Alice, that sentence kind of sums up my whole existence.

I felt McGonnagal’s cold bony fingers grasp my chin to make me look up to her.

 She examined my face, while I struggled to breathe.

„Miss Goodwin, how are you feeling ?“she asked, but I couldn’t make myself answer.

Even my eyesight was getting worse. Is it medically possible for my eyes to get smaller?

„Look, her face is swelling up, it must be some kind of alergy!“ said Lily.

„Has she eaten something today? Do you know what could have caused that?“

„Only my strudel“said Lily hysterically „with pumpkin and poppy.“

I gasped for air desperately. The last thing I remember is throwing up all over my shirt.


Tuesday, December 6th, 1976, 09.23, the hospital wing

Sky. Clouds. Clouds flying over me. Beautiful colourful clouds. Clouds are now close to me.  Clouds feeding me something.

Wait, what?

I felt absolutely lost.

„Miss Goodwin, do you hear me ?“a voice came from what I previously assumed were clouds.

I know this voice. But where have I heard it before?

I tried to make my sight focus.

„“ I verbalized my exact thoughts.

I tried to sit to get a better look, but I felt too weak, so I supported myself with my elbows.

 Everything around me was white. Walls, bedding.. Everything except for a bunch of people standing in front of me.

„You are in the hospital wing!“ said lady (who I recognised as Madam Pomfrey) cheerfuly.

„Here, swallow this!“she said as she stuffed a potion into my mouth. I did as I was said and made a face. It tasted like I imagine dirt mixed with dish soap would taste like. Bleh.

„You had an anaphylactic shock,“said Lily from behind.

„ Ana-what? Like an alergy? Is it even possible to have anaphlasmatic shocks in wizarding world?“

„Anaphylactic. And yes, indeed, it is very possible to have alergies in wizarding world. Remember, same sicknesses, better cures. Maybe except for dragon pox, I can’t imagine a muggle catching that now. Well, there was this incident in the fourteenth century when that poor merchant caught it on his travels and since muggles had no idea of mere existence of this kind of sickness, logically they had no cure for it. And that’s the story of how the whole of Eurasia ended up dealing with the pandemic. They named it The black death after that.“

„Oh,“I said. I understand that people can get a little carried away by the things they are passionate about. I do not understand how can one be passionate about dragon pox, though.

„ So back to your case, Miss Goodwin. Is there something you are alergic to?“

„Poppy, I guess. Last time I have eaten it I was about four, but I remember simmilar reaction.“

„It was in that last strudel of mine, that you have eaten!“shouted Lily with sudden clarity.

„Miss, why would you eat something, you know you are alergic to ? Did you do it on purpose? Do you have some mental problems? I have leaflets for that. Show me your wrists. If not that, I must assume you thought this was a clever way to skip classes!“

„No,no!“I said as I was showing her my perfectly uncut wrists.

Damn, this is embarassing. How do I explain that in contrary to a rulebreaking mastermind , I’m just a careless fool?

„I just ate the strudel. I didn’t look. I didn’t think. The last time I ate poppy I was freaking four. I didn’t even recognise the taste.“ I said, trying to look as honest as possible.

Madam Pomfrey cast a long look at me, analyzing me.

„Well, I have no other options than to trust that you wouldn’t  deliberately assasinate yourself. Still, remember,I am watching you. And for your condition, I will keep you untill tommorow morning, but you should be fine. The adrenaline potion truly is miraculous.“said Pomfrey and then turned to the girls.

„Could you bring her some clean clothes?“

„Why? What’s wrong with my..“

I looked at my shirt, which was white, too big and definately not mine.

That’s when it hit me.

I puked all over myself in the Great hall. On the scale from 1 to 10 in awkwardness, that is probably a number,that only engineering students know about. There even exists a phobia of throwing up in public. I never was a girl, that would care for her reputation too much, but this will destroy me. I will forever be that girl who hurled in the Great hall.

„Oh, no.“

 „Don‘t worry, there weren’t that many people.“ Said Solbjørg. Then she patted my leg to comfort me.

„It will still spread around the whole school faster than pandemic,“I said, mentally scarred by that thought. I could totally picture the posh girls (and /or Slytherins) making squeally disgusted noises when they enter the Great hall. Or maybe they will stuff their fingers down their throats and call me names, when they meet me. And it would be very shitty names, because my name only rhymes with banana.

„Could you bring me those mental health leaflets, please?“ I asked Madam Pomfrey,  on the verge of tears.

Lily and Alice sat next to me on my bed and hugged me tight.

„Aw, don’t worry, Annie. People will forget all about you as soon as something happens again. We have the Marauders! I’m sure they will do something big and stupid soon,“said Lily and stroked my back.

I must have looked really awfull, if she talked about the Marauders as our saviours. There may be some hope in that, though. I really wish I had guessed right last night, that they were planing something big. I can only pray that they won’t disappoint me.

„I will go fetch your stuff, so you can return that shirt, kay?“ said Solbjørg, who finally stopped patting my foot and stood up.

„And I will go report to McGonnagal, as I promised,“said Lily, the always responsible prefect.

„Okay, visit me after lessons?“I said, knowing they will eventually have to attend them.

„Sure thing,“ Solbjørg said and Lily smiled. „Be good.“

Alice stayed by my side, looking through the leaflets, that madam Pomfrey dropped off.

„I didn’t know you had to return clothes to hospital wing immediately. What would they do if I died? Rip the shirt of my cold lifeless chest?“ I asked.

„Oh, the shirt’s not from hospital wing.“

„Where is it from, then?“I asked determined to solve this mystery.

„I will tell you, but please, don’t freak out.“

„Why would I freak out about something like that? Of course I won’t freak out.“

„Pinky promise ?“Alice asked and raised her pinky to my eye level.

„Alice, I hate to break it to you, but we are sixteen. SIXTEEN.“

„No pinky promise, no information,“she said wigling her pinky in front of my face.

„As long as no one can see us.. Fine! Pinky promise!“I said and linked my pinky with hers.

„This better be good.“

„Okay then.  Well, you remember that part about you throwing up all over yourself and passing out in the Great hall, right?“she asked and I rolled my eyes at her.

„Go on.“

„We really freaked out then, but McGonnagal kept her cool. She levitated you and ran to the Hospital Wing. We ran ahead and bust the door open for your levitating self, only to reveal our darling Remus getting dressed on one of the beds.“

„ No way,“I said, shocked. I was kind of glad that he was alive and well, but he has seen me like that. Unconscious, vomit stained, swollen. And I thought I looked bad in the morning.

„For Merlin’s sake let me finish this. So we burst in like the flood and screamed for help, because Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen. We saw him sitting on the bed, all wounded and shirtless, so we asked him about Pomfrey’s whereabouts. He looked confused, but then he saw your levitated body and ran for your help. Vomit or not,he caught you mid air and placed you in the nearest bed. If it wasn’t so scary, it would be kind of romantic. Meanwhile Lily has found Pomfrey, who screamed: „Anaphylaxy!“ and stabbed your poor self with an adrenaline shot. It wasn’t a very nice look. Your face was all blue and swollen, we really thought you were about to die. But then you started breathing and we all celebrated, I even cried. That’s how much I love you.  Then we realized that you were wearing vomit so Pomfrey told us to bring you clean clothes. We were too scared to leave you so soon after that incident, so Remus offered us his shirt. We knew you’d be excited, so we took it, cleaned you up and put it on you. Are you breathing ?“

I wasn’t.  I don’t know if i tis possible, for a teenage girl to survive two kinds of a shock a day.

„Where is he now? Did he say something? Was he horribly disgusted by the sight of me ? How does he look like shirtless?“

Typical me, keeping my shallow in every situation.

„I have no idea where he is now, he left right after Pomfrey said you will live. He didn’t look too disgusted. Well, you had vomit all over you and he tried to avoid touching it and you kind of looked like a blueberry but...“

„Please, continue to the next question. And thank you for boosting my self esteem.“

„Sorry. Well I have to admit he laid you on that bed very gently.“

„My martyr.“ I said, dreamy expression on my face. Sure, he’s seen me like that, but what if he has really well evolved social empathy? And he LAID me into a BED. How intimate is that ? It’s like I always imagined...Well without the puke and uncosciousness, but not everything can be perfect, right ?

„And for that last question, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,“Alice said, suddenly looking worried.

„What is it? Does he have three nipples or like really obscure back hair?“ I asked, hoping it was neither.

She rolled her eyes and scooped closer to me. 

„I don’t know if anybody noticed it too, with all the panic, but I did and it was really weird,“ she whispered.

„Merlin Alice, what is it? Spill it you’re making me uneasy.“

 „Well his torso, which is by the way toned, but not too muscular, slim but still manly, is scarred. I don’t mean like a scar or two, here and there, caused by youth rebelion. It’s like a scar on a scar on a scar. They are mostly white so they aren’t very visible, but up close, Merlin. Infinite scars. His skin actually must be made of them. Disturbing. He looked like the people in those leaflets that enjoy cuting themselves.. Or like he was ripped into shreds multiple times, “ she said in one breath and put a supportive hand on my shoulder. She knows how I feel about him, everybody does. Well except for him.

I found it hard to absorb this information. I was looking straight into the white wall that was in front of me and traced the soft cracks in the paint, like it were scars on Remus’s back. Why would somebody so gentle and kind have so many scars? Scars symbolize violence..and combat..and pain. Remus is none of that.

Well maybe if I put 2 and 2 together.  Yesterday night. Remus missing. Battered Marauders roaming the halls at 5 o’clock. Scarred Remus in hospital wing. Remus missing many times a year. What are the intervals of his missing? I will have to figure it out, maybe I will even write it down. The girls already say that I’m a stalker so who cares. There must be something fishy going on. Remus is the physical evidence.

When I pictured Remus, my beautiful Remus looking like that, I shivered. I suddenly felt the urge to hug him and cover him with a soft, fluffy blanket. I would let him rest his head on my thighs and stroke his hair, because that’s how problems are solved. Is he abused ? Are they a part of a cult or do they simply just beat the crap out of each other ? Are the others equally scarred as Remus?

No. I guess not. If Sirius was scarred, the whole castle would know about it. He and James are seen half naked so many times, you get used to it. It even feels natural, just like seeing your own body.

 Everytime, when Gryffie wins a quidditch match, Potter makes a big show of taking his shirt of and twirling it above his head. Black mostly joins, even though he isn’t on the team, nor does he know how to play quidditch.

Due to my thoughts, I almost failed to notice that Alice was getting up from my bed.

„I see this piece of information affected you deeply, so I will leave you alone now. Also I have a herbology lesson to attend. Au revoir. Stay alive !“she said as she playfully patted me on my head.

„Bye! Visit me after school please ! Please! Don’t let me suffer alone!And enjoy Firmbottom!“ I called after her.

All my intentions to further analyze given situation were foiled, when Madame Pomfrey entered the room and gave me some sleep potion,  because, as she informed me, I am here to sleep it off.  I drifted into peacefull, dreamless sleep afterwards, only to be woken up by sudden burst of noises and laughter.

I opened my eyes, feeling chewed up and spat out, due to artificialy induced sleep. I greeted my overly- excited looking friends and sat up.

„So what’s going on?“ I asked as they exchanged very weird facial expressions.

„Did people talk about me ?“

„Well, we have a very funny story connected to that,“said Solbjørg and poked Lily in the ribs.

„It’s funny because it didn’t happen to you. Also Anna, you owe me your life. After this stunt I pulled for you, you have to name at least one of your future children after me,“ said Lily, who was on a contrary wearing a very ashamed and serious expression.

„Don’t hold it up anymore! Did you fight somebody for me ? Or something like that?“

„You know, Lily’s more of a lover than a fighter,“said Alice and Solbjørg burst out laughing.

Lily threw them a nasty look and  continued.

„I’m not gonna lie. You were a major discussion topic at lunch. But when people started doing impersonations of you at dinner, it got out of hand. We were just sitting there, eating, when we heard some Hufflepuff bimbo tell a passionate story about how you puked all over McGonnagal, because you have a serious drinking problem and/or you are pregnant . We decided we can’t wait for something to happen, that could make people forget about you, so I just... I can’t say it. Solbjørg,  your turn. I will just curl into a ball of shame, there, in the corner and cry.“

„So the thing is, as we were helplessly trying to come up with a plan of our serious action, the Marauders barged in the Great hall...“

„I feel the need to remind you, that we were really desperate and we were doing it for the sake of your reputation,“ said Lily.

„Don’t interrupt me ! Or do you want to say it ? You can’t, I’m already on a roll. So the Marauders were walking towards our table, when this girl here, which we knew by the name Lily stood up. We didn’t know what she was up to, only we could see the determination in her eyes. You can only imagine the surprise of every single person in the Great Hall when she called out: „Hey, Potter!“  and when he turned face to face to her, clearly flabbergasted, she grabbed him by the ass, pulled him towards her and kissed him. It was so quiet you could hear a sound of Snape’s heart breaking. They stood there exchanging saliva for about four minutes, then she pulled back and without as much as goodbye left the hall. It was magnificient. He was standing there, mouth ajar, pinching himself. I bet people are still talking about it.“

Out of every single possibility, this is what I would never expect. I reached out and hugged Lily tightly.

„I will name every single one of my future eleven children after you! Even my sons! You are the best! Also, I need details. I can’t believe you kissed Potter. I mean wow. Wow...Really?.. Wow.“

„I’m too ashamed to talk about details. I still can’t believe I have done that. That boy sure is an annoying piece of egocentric jackass, but damn, he can kiss. I mean, ew, it’s still Potter, I’d never want to have something to do with him. But it wasn’t bad. Technically it was a bad thing to do, but it wasn’t disgusting.“

„Lily and Potter sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage!“sang Solbjørg and Alice in unison.

„ Argh, I knew I will be a target of your jokes for the rest of my life. Also, Solbjørg, you are Norwegian, how comes you know american nursery rhymes?“

„That's pop culture, baby.“

„With all the fuss, I forgot to tell you the news!“ exclaimed Alice.

„Oh no, I don’t know if I can take anymore news today,“ I said.

„Don’t worry, this is positive news. Although, Lily snogging Potter is positive too. So I talked to Frank ..“

„Alice and Frank, sitting in a tree...“

„Solbjørg, don’t make me use your middle name on you. So he invited me to this huge soirée, which  is a Ravenclaw term for a party, that is held in common room on Friday. I promised we will go. So are we going ?“

„Of course we are going!“exclaimed Solbjørg, the infamous lover of "soirées".

„Do you honestly think this is a good idea? After today’s horrific aftermaths on mine and Lily’s reputations? Because I kind of want to crawl into a hole or a dark corner, collect mice and hiss on people,“ I said, not too thrilled about the prospect of being the laughing stock of some uber- inteligent Rawenclaws.

„You know, you should loosen up a little. Care less about what people think of you and have fun. You know, none of this nonesense will matter once you're 90. But a nice memory of dancing on a coffee table will be cherished forever.“said Solbjørg, knowing she had won.

She is right. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the pks of youth. And if somebody laughs, let them laugh at me, dammit. In these tough times, we need to use every chance we have to laugh. 

I was just about to confirm my participation, when Pomfrerey barged in and sent them all away, much to my dismay.

Oh, she is approaching me with another bottle of fake sleep. Looks like tonight I may finally get a healthy dose of it.


*In case you were wondering, It's in his kiss, or as you may know it, "The shoop shoop song" is a single written by Rudy Clark.It was first released as a single in 1963, when it was sung by Mary Clark. However, the song became popular a year after when it was recorded by Betty Everett, which seems a bit unfair if you ask me. It gained international recognition after Cher remade it in 1990 as a soundtrack to her movie "Mermaids", directed by Richard Benjamin starring Cher, Winona Ryder, Bob Hoskins and Christina Ricci (who by the way looks exactly like my aunt Nadya). Is this enough?

Chapter 3: Of vomit horror stories
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

 Disclaimer: I still do not own the Harry Potter universe, but I have managed to obtain myself a dry shampoo and daaamn, there’s no way magic is not involved in that.

Another thing I managed to obtain is a copy of Harry Potter and the cursed child, during the midnight release at Waterstones in Glasgow and it has left me with lots of ambivalent feelings. Like I feel the magic in me coming back to life, but on the other side it seemed a bit..staged. (I know, It’s a play)I feel like the changing past to change the future format is a bit overplayed, the characters felt kind of ..out of character and the whole thing was like a lifetime movie. I would love to hear your opinions on the issue and also of course, on the story.


Wednesday, December 7th, 1976, 12.22, the hospital wing

I was supposed to be gone by nine. I was supposed to attend the afternoon classes, too. Too bad I just woke up and, as Madam Pomfrey said, used pejoratives absentmindedly when she tried to wake me up earlier.

She also allowed me to stay in the hospital wing  as long as I needed to and pointed out those leaflets she left me, again.

That leaves me here, lying in the bed worthlessly, too tired to move, too awake to sleep.  Since when are hospital beds comfy ? Does the „every bed is more comfortable in the morning“ paradigm apply to hospital beds ? Because sweet baby Merlin, I feel like I am being caressed by thousands of heat radiating angels.

I am not ready to face the world yet. I know that my dear Lily with her so-called Great sacrifice brought the attention of the Hogwarts gossip mill to herself, but who knows? Maybe vomiting in the great hall is something to be eternally remembered. I should start transporting through sewerage, like pipes or something to avoid meeting other members of the magical folk. I really hope they aren’t clogged up by some sort of giant reptile.

Why do I even worry? People in Hogwarts puke ALL THE TIME. It’s because of that overly- developed social life here. Party after every single quidditch match, the opening party, the christmas party, the ‚talk like a pirate‘ party.. I have only been to some of them, but there has always been a person that was found hurling out of the window or into helmets, which they tore down of those medieval armours in the corridors.  Mostly that person has been Solbjørg and we had to deal with her drunk, sick, but still promiscous self.  That’s why I never really enjoyed those parties. Well there has been one I really liked, held by those pacifistic kids  as a silent resistence to Voldemort’s violence.To be honest, I don’t remember much of that party, just flowers in my hair, some magical herbs and excessive huging. But that’s not the point.

I’m never leaving this glorious bed.

I might be depressed. Maybe it’s time to read those stupid leaflets. It’s not like I have something better to do.

I set aside ones featuring teenage pregnancy and STD awareness (i wish) and took the one named „A road to happiness“ , which I assumed by that clichéd title, must be about depression. Besides a very upbeat picture of laughing multiracial teenagers, the leaflet included 11 warning signs of depression. They could all be applied to Lily lacking her morning coffee, but, except maybe for number 8 -Sleeping too much or not enough- I seem clean.

Sometime between „You are never alone“ and „Depression is a sickness like any other“ I heard my stomach rumble. I kind of realized I haven’t eaten since yesterday’s destructive breakfast, but I tried to ignore this fact and focus on the important stuff. Like never leaving the hospital wing.

Hunger is a huge violation of my plans though. It might be my body trying to tell me to stop being such a wuss and go face the world as a brave, independent person that I am.

It was bound to happen some time anyway, so I might just get it over with.

I threw the soft covers of me with determination, only to reveal that I was still wearing Remus’s shirt.  After a quick panic attack I realized I haven’t done the obvious, stalkerish thing.  I brought the collar up to my nose and sniffed. I thought maybe it will smell like him. Not that I knew what he smelled like. Much to my dismay it only smelled like every other piece of clothing in Hogwarts, washed by the house elves. What should I do with it ? Give it to the elves and have it washed and returned, without as much as a thank you?  Give it back myself? Clean it myself? How do I wash clothes using magic?

It’s the moments like these that I realize that I’m utterly useless in practical life. I can turn a mango into a pair of acceptable tapdancing shoes, but when it comes to utilities..

I changed into my uniform, which I found on a chair next to my bed and tried to fix my hair somehow. Then, sporting a messy, greasy ponytail, I failed to locate my bag so I grabbed Remus’s shirt and my wand and headed to the Great hall.

 Even though I still felt weak, I rushed through the corridors like the wind in order to make it to the lunch untill it’s over. It’s starting to feel like a daily routine.

Just as I was approaching the door to the Great hall, it burst open. James Potter marched out, radiating pure anger. Black was trying to catch up to him and when he finally did, he patted him on the back.

I am no master in divination, still I can easilly guess what is this all about.

„But it was her who kissed me!  It must have meant something !“said James, while he waved his arms around wildly. It is kind of dangerous to stand near him when he’s mad. Not that he’s aggressive, he could just gesticulate you to death.

„Prongsie..“ Sirius was still patting him fondly on the back, looking sympathetic.

The door opened again and revealed Peter,  who was still chewing on a greasy looking piece of meat that he was holding .

„Whof’s goin on?“asked  Peter while providing an undelightfull sight at the contents of his mouth.

And right behind him was.. Oh, eff, no. Remus Lupin in all his glory.

Our eyes met for a while and my knees went weak.

He looked tired, but unlike me, still somehow lovely.

He was tall, much taller than me, so I had to look up to him. His hazel eyes spread warmth around my body. It always felt like with just a single look, he could peel every layer of me and look right into my core. I only wish it would work both ways.

My awkward staring fest was interrupted by a pair of arms, jerking my body.

„You! You are her  friend, right?!“ shouted James Potter, owner of those arms.

„ Eh, right?“ I answered, surprised.

„ Did she say anything  about me ?“ continued James, still shaking me a little.

I couldn’ţ help myself, at that moment I felt genuinelly sorry for him. He looked like a puppy that has been left alone near a dumpster after Christmas. We all have completelly written him out as a bully and took his feelings towards Lily as a joke. A very bad, awkward, elaborate joke.

But right now, he seemed honestly desperate. And ..hurt?

Before I could give him an unpleasant answer, Remus started removing his  arms from me.

His fingers brushed my arms briefly and as an instinct, my brain stopped working. I must have looked like an owl, because my eyes were openly gaping at him without my consent and I clutched his shirt so tight my knuckles went white.

After he completely removed me from James's death grip, he reattached him to Sirius, who started to hug him affectionately. „It’s ok, bro. It’s fine. Come on starboy. You know women, they don‘t know what they want“, said Sirius reasuringly, as he patted James’s back and dragged him to the staircase.

I turned my attention back to Remus, who was regarding his friends with a loving smile, that could be stemming only from the feeling of pure bromance. Suddenly, he became even more attractive for me.  My mates mean the world to me, they are always a priority and that is set in stone. Now it seemed that Remus felt the same for his little cliqué. We might have something in common after all.

„You look better now.“

Remus’s remark startled me as I was still gazing at him lovingly.

„Well, considering the last time you’ve seen me I was unconscious and covered in remnants of my breakfast..“ Do I even need to mention that I kind of suck at flirting?

„Yeah, sorry I didn’t really think it through. What I meant is that I’m glad you feel better now. You kind of scared me, to be honest. Is that my shirt?“ He said as he focused his attention to the piece of clothing that I was still clutching to my chest.

„Yes, yes I’m really sorry. And thankful. And kind of embarassed. Really embarassed. Sorry you had to see that.“ I handed him the shirt and kind of hoped the ground would swallow me before I had to look him in the eyes.

„Anna, calm down. There is nothing to be embarassed about. Everybody pukes. Actually I have heard of a chap that ate some kind of bad enchilladas, because the cooks in his summer camp liked to experiment with various tastes and cuisines, you know, like, what’s wrong with good old regular eggs and beans? That’s not the point though. Well, he ate the enchilladas and prepared himself for his very first big role, Dumbledore in the camp’s theatrical rendition of Grindelwald’s fall.“

„Oh I bet the curse of vomit has foiled the poor lad’s plans.“

„Indeed you are right. Not only he has hurled on the first two rows of audience, including his previously very proud parents, no, he went to lie down, but he was too weak to climb down his bunk, so he just vomited on the bottom bunk and the floor, until his puke stained parents came to pick him up. Everyone thought he had some kind of stage fright. Which was not true, I was, I mean he was perfectly prepared.“

I laughed.

„That makes me feel much better, thanks. But I’d be happier if people thought I had stage fright than that I was hiding a pregnancy or a notorious drinking habit.“

„You don’t struck me as a person who would depend on what other people think.“

„And I don’t!“ I protested, even though I kind of do care what people think of me and mostly, what he thinks of me. Apparently he thinks hurling in the Great hall is acceptable and I’m not going to argue with him.

„So leave it like that. You can’t let other people dictate what you should or shouldn‘ t be doing in your life. Unless you want to murder someone. In that case act according to public opinion. Merlin you are looking at me like you either understand my type of humour or you think I’m an absolute lunatic.“

I laughed again. Actually I was laughing way more than I ever imagined that I would be, if I ever gathered up the courage to talk to him. I always regarded him as the quiet mysterious brooding type, a man of few words, all of which are inteligent or well, mysterious and brooding.

„Like you care about an opinion of an addicted soon-to-be mother. JK. Even if I thought you were bollocks it shouldn’t matter to you. Isn’t that today’s lesson?“

„Well, sometimes it’s easier to teach than to practice. That either makes me a hypocrite or a shitty teacher. I’m sorry Anna, but really I’ve had some dumb things said about me too, so I know how much harm that can cause to a person’s psyche, not to mention self image. You didn’t do anything wrong, you just ate some..“


„Right, strudel. Anyways I should get going now, if you don’t mind. It was nice talking to you, Anna.“

Is it just me or does the guy have some kind of fixation on my name? Anna. Aahna. It just sounds so right, coming out of his mouth. I can totally imagine various life situations with him saying my name. Like „Anna, my goddess, the reason I’m alive, will you spend the eternity in a devoted matrimony with me?“, or „Walk the dogs, Anna,  I will take care of our seven children.“

„Thank you Remus, I will try to live by your well meant hypocrisy. I also have some serious bussiness to take care of now.“ My stomach growled.

„That makes me very proud. Perhaps I should pursue a career in counseling. Next I advise you to go fill that thing now, since you’ve emptied all of it’s content yesterday.“

„Great, you are making fun of me now.“ I said, mockingly offended.

He smiled and said: „Talk to you later, Anna.“

TALK TO YOU LATER. There will be a later. We are connected now. By vomit horor stories, but it’s something! We are acquaintances, I can greet him when I meet him on the corridor. Merlin, I’m mad.

As I was busy creating unrealistic situations in my head, mostly involving me falling of the stairs and Remus heroically catching me, my feet automaticaly lead me to the Great Hall. As I opened the heavy door, it was like the time stopped. For a split second everyone turned their heads to me and I gasped. Then, just like that everyone went back to doing their bussiness. No fake gagging, no whispering. I was safe and I knew exactly whom to thank for that.

I ran straight to Lily, who had her mouth full of lentil soup and gave her a hug. It was The Great sacrifice, that stole the spotlight from my incident. I couldn’t help myself, but felt that none of us has made the biggest sacrifice. It looked to me that James was the real victim of this unfortunate situation and I was not going to leave it like that.


Friday, December 9th, 1976, 19:38, 6th year girls’s dormitory

„I‘m telling you I’m not going to wear that!“ shouted Lily as Solbjørg showed some dress in front of her face. The dress was actually Solbjørg’s shirt, but as a true viking girl, she was much taller than Lily, so it actually reached few centimeters bellow Lily’s butt.

„But you have to! You should make it up to James somehow, even if you want to reject him. You will at least offer him a mental picture that he can later on... use.“

„EEEW, Solbjørg stop being gross!“

„There is nothing gross about the human physique. We are all created with specific needs, teenage boys just have more of them. That is nothing to be grossed out about.“

„Ah Solbjørg, you and your norwegian stoicism will never cease to amaze me.“ Alice has joined in the conversation, while braiding her dark brown hair.

„Lily, I think Solbjørg is making some solid point there,“ I chimed in, „I’ve told you, the guy looked seriously hurt, you should throw him a bone.“

„Seriously hurt? Are you listening to yourself? Because we are talking about Potter here. Potter, who has been making my life miserable for years now. Do you not remember how he absolutely destroyed any of my chances of finding a paramour by claiming that i have vaginal mycosis? Or how he invented a spell that made my hair all electrocuted so I‘d look like a giant painting brush and no one would ask me out for Valentine’s day?“ she straight up screamed and waved around with a comb for emphasis. „You know damn right tham I am in no way dependent on getting a man. I can get by on my own, but I would at least like a possibility to find a proper, intellectually stimulating, easy to look at partner. What if I am missing out on something? Not enjoying my young years enough because of some bullying prat?“

„You should have just shagged him a long time ago, Lils. It’s a win-win scenario. Either you fall in love with him and start to actually enjoy his kind of creepy and resilient attention, or you’d perform disappointingly in bed and he’d ditch you. See? Foolproof.“Said Solbjørg knowledgeably.

„You are forgetting one serious plottwist,“ I said „what if she falls in love with him and he ditches her due to her lacking bedtime acrobatic skills?“

„That’s genius Anna. She could spend rest of the year chasing him around like he chased her. Perfect revenge.“

„Well first of all, thank you for the sincere trust you have expressed in my sexskills. Second, let’s be honest here, Potter doesn’t like me. He just chose me as a target of his bullying, which he perfoms so he would entertain the castle and keep up his macho alfa male reputation. Don’t think I didn’t give it some serious thought. But he is just so cruel, you know? I mean if he really liked me, he wouldn’t be cruel. He would not humiliate me and enjoy making me cry. And he wouldn’t be found snogging some new girl with poor judgement every other week.“

The silence fell as we all nodded in agreement. Lily was making some solid point here, since Potter may have performed his retarded stunts out of his undying love, but that didn’t change the fact that they were, well... retarded.

This realisation has left me kind of let down. I have always loved a good romance, but not just any kind of romance, not clichéed romance, not one that started with a one-night-stand.  A fateful romance, one that has never been too obvious. A special bond between two completely different, but at the same time startingly simmilar people. One that started with a single glance and never truly ended. One that lasted through tests of time, contrarious conditions, storms and sunshine and never gave in, never moved. It was just those two people braving the life together, hand in hand, untill death did them part.

It seems that I have somehow embodied these uber romantic ideas in Lily and James’s relationship which was utter rubbish, since there was no Lily and James’s relationship and James was an arsehole.

„Women, we are already more than fashionably late, so finish what you are doing and let’s get going. You know darn right we are going to spend half an hour more at that godforsaken door, because we are not smart enough to answer those transcendental questions.“ Stated Alice, who was already dressed up and ready to go thanks to her non-involvement in our heated debate.

„But Alice, you know whatever the question is, the answer is either time,a human, or a key.“ I added.

„Or Sun!“

„Okay fine, ready to go?“

„Not yet ready!“, exclaimed Lily as she tried to find a hole in hear earlobe with an earring. „Ready now!“

„PARTY! PARTY ! PARTY!“ we yelled in unison, which is a tradition of ours, invented to make us more excited.


„On we go!“

„On we go!“

„On we go!“

And on we went.