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deteriorating by blackballet

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 1,223

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Strong violence, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Horror/Dark, Romance, Angst
Characters: Sirius, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC

First Published: 08/25/2015
Last Chapter: 09/01/2015
Last Updated: 09/01/2015

First place in Fonzzx's The Blackinnon Challenge

banner by me :)

time has run it's course with her



Chapter 1: deteriorating
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 Marlene could, what’s the word, feel herself deteriorating. It started when she stepped over the body of her dead brother. His light blue eyes, so, so much like hers, were dim and dark. She felt death coming when she stepped over his body.

The cold grip tightened a little more on her throat as she tripped over her mother’s arm. Her mum’s hair, so, so similar to hers, was caked with blood. She felt the tips of her own golden locks to make sure she wasn’t dead.

She kept walking and found her father, lying face down in a pool of cool blood on the kitchen floor. The tiles were stained, and Marlene knew she would never be able to get that clean, even with a little elbow grease.

Marlene didn’t look into her sister’s room. She could smell her sister’s body decaying due to the breeze that came through the open window. She felt her heart ache as she looked up through the hole in the ceiling and saw the Dark Mark hovering in the sky.


And now she was lying face up on the sidewalk in front of her house, and Sirius Black was muttering something to her. Maybe he was yelling, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she was bleeding from so many places she couldn’t feel her fingers anymore.

Dorcas stood above Sirius, but her wand wasn’t out. Marlene was so used to seeing Dorcas crouched over bodies, working her Healer magic, that she knew now that she was definitely dying.

“Marlene,” Sirius cried out again, shaking her limp shoulders harshly. Marlene’s vision blurred, and she saw Dorcas put a hand on Sirius’ shoulder in the corner of her eye. She tilted her head a little, or at least it felt like she did as Sirius leant forward and hugged her body tightly.

In her last few months, she and Sirius rarely shared a hug that wasn’t leading to something else. Now she was positive she was dying. Sirius Black doesn’t hug. Sirius Black doesn’t love Marlene.

“I love you, I love you, I do,” he whispered into her ear. Marlene wasn’t sure that’s what he said because the blood was pounding so heavily in her ear. For all she knows he could’ve said that he hated her. Although, it was nice to believe that Sirius did love her.

Marlene lifted her arm up slowly and felt the edges of her hair. She saw Sirius’ eyes light up as she moved, but she knew it was hopeless. She was reminded of her mother, and now she couldn’t remember how long ago it actually was since she’d found her family.

Marlene felt a pounding in her chest. It was as if her heart was trying to keep her entire body alive. Her heart was beating so harshly it felt like her chest was bruising from the inside.

“Sirius,” she croaked out. Her voice felt dry. It was the first time in Marlene’s life that she could feel her voice. His face was distorted, but Marlene saw a tear slip out of his eye. Of course it was angry. She laughed inside her head as she saw Sirius clench his jaw and grip her thin shirt.

She felt his lips crash down on hers, and she felt her body jolt awake, like someone had electrified her. She couldn’t move her lips no matter how hard she tried to force herself to. It did not seem to matter to Sirius though. He gripped her face and Marlene felt her chin being tilted up by his strong hands.

Oh. Wait a minute. Sirius was not trying to kiss her. He was now definitely trying to save her life. The big problem is, is that Sirius has never had any Healer training. He did not realize that her heart was not going to restart if she didn’t have any blood in her system. He didn’t know how to perform resuscitation properly, so it was probably doing more harm than good.

The pounding in her chest came back, and she realized that Sirius’ hands were clenched over her sternum, pushing her heart to work again. Sirius gave up on pounding on her chest, and plugged her nose. He opened her mouth again and breathed into her heavily. Marlene never thought she would be able to feel herself dying, but it was rather vivid.

It was brutal and painful, but she was glad that she kept losing feeling in her extremities. It kept the pain from being unbearable. Marlene’s mouth felt wet as Sirius pulled back from her. She frowned. It appeared that Sirius was now bleeding from his mouth. She saw a lot of red on Sirius’ face all of sudden, and Marlene was pretty sure that he wasn’t bleeding. She blinked a couple of times, and more red came into her vision.

Sirius wiped her face roughly, and Marlene blinked again. Her eyes were bleeding. Maybe her eyes weren’t bleeding, but there was definitely blood in her eyes. She closed them slowly and smiled slightly in relief. The blood stopped stinging her eyes.

“Marlene!” he roared, slapping her on the cheek harshly. Marlene frowned as her cheek stung. She just wanted to sleep. She told herself that she wanted to sleep, but she knew that she wanted to die. She knew in her mind that if she went to sleep that she would never wake up.

She now took the time to wonder if this happened a lot. When people were dying, did they know they were dying? Did they know that closing their eyes would kill them? Did they just not care? Because the Marlene that Marlene knew did care whether she died or not.

She never gave up. She didn’t give up after the Prewett twins died. She didn’t give up when Bellatrix Lestrange tortured her to the edge. But now she gave up. She couldn’t even remember what happened to make her give up.

She remembered a couple of things. She remembered walking into her house warily because she’d seen the Dark Mark hovering above the roof. She remembered fighting off a Death Eater. It didn’t matter who it was. She remembered stepping over Mark and not crying. She specifically remembered that she wasn’t sad anymore. She was angry.

Anyway. Now she was giving up. Now she didn’t care that she was dying, because at least it would stop Sirius from his insufferable crying. It was peaceful suddenly. It was cold, and Marlene smiled again. It was really hot that day, and she had finally broke from the heat. Marlene felt herself gurgle the blood that was bubbling up in her mouth. She tried to breathe in, but her airway was blocked. She felt her body being turned on its side, and the blood flowed freely out of her mouth and onto the pavement.

She wondered again. How gory did this look? What if a child was watching? Marlene gripped Sirius’ arm suddenly and shook it as hard as she could. How could he let her bleed out on the concrete? How could he let her stain the walkway up to her house? How did he let this happen to her?

Marlene coughed out more blood. Her stomach felt very empty. You know, she could literally feel herself deteriorating.