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My Heart Belonged to You. by LunaJ

Format: Short story
Chapters: 15
Word Count: 17,216

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Mild Language

Genres: Romance, General
Characters: Dumbledore, James, Lily, OC, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Voldemort
Pairings: James/Lily

First Published: 04/10/2004
Last Chapter: 07/30/2004
Last Updated: 07/06/2005

*COMPLETED* Lily and James were in love their 7th year, but as much as James didn't want to he was forced to break it off. Both lonely and depressed, they are reunited, but things have changed. Lily is afraid to trust him, and he is afraid to tell her the truth...

Chapter 1: *Prologue*
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Disclaimer- everyone but Aaron Gablin belongs to the fabulous JK rowling

Authors Note- I swore to myself that my addiction would end. That I'd stop writing fan fictions. That the last chapter of "I don't care that you love me" would be the last thing I ever posted on this site. I was wrong. For the past few nights this idea has been boiling in my head begging me to write it down... I resisted for awhile but in the end I wrote it, and here it is.

My Heart Belonged to You.
by- LunaJ

*Lily's POV*
With tears streaming down my cheeks I looked back at Hogwarts one last time. After 7 years my education was complete and I was being set loose into the real world. As I boarded the train I glanced down at the silver promise ring on my finger. James had given it to me two months before and I’ve treasured it ever since. He told me that after we were done here we’d both go back to our families for a few months and then eventually we’d get married. My heart leapt, Mrs. Lily Potter. Two years ago had anyone told me I would be “Mrs. Lily Potter” I would have cursed them. Now I have to sit back and wait for him to ask me. I wondered, how long would he take? 1 month? Maybe 2 or 3? A year?

I crawled into a compartment and sat down next to Ella. She’d been my best friend from day one. Her eyes were just as red and blotchy as mine. We sat and cried together for atleast 15min before we were interrupted.

“Why is it that girls always have to cry on happy occasions?”

I looked up and Sirius was standing in the doorway.

“Why is it that guys never show their emotions?” I asked

“We show them, we just don’t go and get all sentimental. Didn’t you see that marvelous work of art your boyfriend and I left as a parting gift?”

“I don’t really think placing a giant portrait of yourselves in the girl’s dormitory hall counts as art.” I groaned as I wiped the last tear from my eye

“Really? I thought the idea was quite brilliant.” He gloated

“You would.”

Sirius definitely was not in my list of favorite people. He was just as arrogant and stubborn as he was 2 years ago. He took the seat next to me and my stomach twisted. He wasn’t exactly the person I wanted to spend my last Hogwarts express ride sitting next to.

“Oh come on Ella cheer up, don’t be such a baby” He said very insensitively

She sobbed harder.

“Black you could be a bit nicer.” I growled

“I am nice. I want her to enjoy her last ride, not spend the whole time crying her eyes out.”


“What you don’t believe me?”

“Why should I?”

“Evans why are you so stubborn? What did I ever do to you?”

“I honestly don’t think I could list them all before we get to kings cross!”

“ya you couldn’t cause you’d spend the whole time trying to think of them, and then you’d realize as we pulled in the station that I was right. That I’ve never done anything to you.”

“Well what about the time you made my hair fall out, put wart grower in my sheets, put pumpkin juice in my shampoo bottle, shrunk my cat…”

“You can’t even prove that was me.”

“Well what about the time a giant black dog found his way into my dorm, ate my homework and chased my cat out of the Gryffindor tower and up a tree? Who could have possibly let that dog into my dorm.”



We continued arguing and Ella just sat there and cried.

“…Or the time you let a filibuster firework…” I began but the compartment door opened and I was interrupted

“Are you two at it again?” James asked

“Prongs this girlfriend of yours is the most difficult human being on the planet.”

I was waiting for James to yell at him for saying that but he just kinda stood there. I looked up at him but he wouldn’t meet my gaze.

“Lily we need to talk.” He said. There was no sign of happiness on his face and his eyes still would not meet mine.

“Alright.” I said and I stood up and fallowed him out of the compartment. Something wasn’t right and I nervously twisted the ring on my finger. He took my hand and led me down the hall into an empty compartment. We sat down. Something was obviously bothering him so I leaned in and put my arms around him. I pressed my lips towards his and kissed him. His lips were soft and gentle, and they sent a warm feeling up my spine. Then James did something he had never done before. He pulled his lips away from mine then took his hands and pushed me away.

“Lily we need to talk.” He was so serious and stiff. I’d never seen him like this before.

“Alright.” I replied nervously

We sat in silence for a long time. For wanting to talk he sure didn’t have anything to say, and then he did. He broke the silence with the last words I ever wanted or expected to hear from his lips. He turned his head, looked out the window and said “Lily, we’ve made a mistake. This isn’t working.”

I couldn’t figure what he had just said it didn’t make since. “What?” I asked.

He took a deep breath and responded quietly “I don’t… love you.”

He didn’t mean that. He couldn’t mean that. He promised me that we would always be together. This had to be some kind of a sick joke.

“You don’t mean that do you? You can’t possibly mean that.”

“I do… Lily, I’m sorry.” He still wouldn’t look at me.

“But we had plans! You told me we’d always be together! You told me you loved me and that you’d give the world for me.”

“Things change, Evans.” He said

He hadn’t called me Evans since 5th year. I looked down at my ring. Some promise.

“Well what about this?” I said as I pulled it off my finger and held it up.

He took another deep breath and said “I lied.”

By this time tears were streaming down my cheeks and my stomach hurt. This couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. I threw the ring at him and he pocketed it. He stood up and headed to the door. For the first time since we got on the train he actually looked at me. He muttered “I’m sorry Lily” as he left the compartment.

I sat and cried in disbelief for the entire ride. He had used me just as he had all the other girls. Only out of all of them, I’d fallen the hardest for him.


A/N- if you think this story has potentential please review and tell me so. If you think is does not... please let me know as well. I do not wish to waste my time if no one is going to read this.

much luv

Chapter 2: Just Kill Me
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My Heart Belonged to You!
Chapter 1- Just Kill Me
By- LunaJ (aka Jeannie)

(Lily's POV)
I slowly opened my eyes just as the sun was rising. I yawned and stretched my hands high over my head as I forced myself out of my bed. If you had told me 3 years ago that this is how my life would be I would have called you an idiot. Then again I was the idiot. I was the one wasting away in a crummy apartment in Hogsmeade and working for minimum wage at Three Broomsticks. Did it matter that I graduated in the top of my class at Hogwarts? Did it matter that I was possibly the best charms student to ever graduate from Hogwarts? No it didn’t because if it did I would have gotten that job at the ministry.

Working in Three Broomstick you tend to run into everyone. At some point in the past 3 years everyone in London had come into this shop. Well everyone but James Potter, and for my hearts sake that was probably the best. I don’t even know what happened to him. I never saw him again after he walked out of that compartment 3 years ago. I never got a letter saying he was sorry, a postcard from where ever he might be, a wedding announcement or anything. I ran into Sirius a few months back and even though my heart wanted me to ask, I didn’t and he didn’t offer any information. He just asked how I was, paid for his butterbear and left.

What hurt even more than running into old friends was running into old teachers. Flitwick, McGonagall and Hagrid came in about once every 4 months because of Hogwarts visits. Each time they came in I could see the disappointment in their eyes. Wondering why I didn’t become more than a counter girl.

Sometimes I wondered that myself. I could be doing great things, but after I didn’t get a job as an unspeakable, my heart just wasn’t in anything else. I always wanted to be an unspeakable, my heart was set on it. The rejection hurt almost as much as the thought of Potter saying “I don’t love you.” all those years ago.

So here I am 20 years old working at a job I hate, and wasting away to nothing.

I left my apartment and walked down the street to work. I clocked in, put on my apron and served at least four dozen butterbeers and 20 cauldron cakes. Business was always slow early in the morning. Then the thing I dreaded most happened. Today was a day for Hogmeade visit for everyone at Hogwarts. My heart sunk. Students began pouring in. Some recognized me. I had been head girl, so even though the older ones were at least 3 years under me they still knew who I was. It wasn’t long after that McGonagall and Flitwick showed up, shortly followed by Professor Sprout and Hagrid.

“Ah Miss Evans, how lovely to see you again.”

“Hello Professor McGonagall, how are things up at school?”

“Not much different since you left my dear, except the fact that things are a bit quieter without…” she bit her tongue. I knew what she was going to say though. Even the teachers somehow knew about what happened.

“I’m sure they are.” I felt stupid. I had teachers feeling sorry for me.

She looked uneasy “Have you applied…” but she never was able to finish because at least a 3 dozen dark figures apperated in, and began stunning people right and left. I felt myself turn pale as students and adults began falling to the floor because of flashes of green light. Several students ran for their lives others hid under tables. McGonagall and Flitwick began shooting curses at death eaters but soon they were collapsed on the ground too. I grabbed my wand and began trying to stun them. I think I actually got a few but I was never quite sure. Then without warning one of them disarmed me and my wand went flying. Three of them trapped me in a corner.

“Well hello Evans.” One of them said.

“Long time no see.” Said the other.

I had no clue who they were, but they obviously knew me.

“Just kill me.” I said, I had nothing to live for

“cuerda” on of them said and my hands and feet bound together

“Just kill me now don’t waste your time.” I said.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Evans.” Said the one who had cursed me “As much as I might like to.”

“He wants you alive.” Said another

A few rocks hit my stomach.

“He wants me?” I said terrified

“He has plans for you.” Said the 3rd, and the others laughed. They obviously didn’t notice the cracking noises in the background though.

“Please just kill...” the next thing I know I am yanked away from the cloaked figures, and the room is filled aurors and Hogwarts Professors. An arm is fastened around my waist and when I saw to whom it belonged… I fainted.


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Chapter 3: Regret
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My Heart Belonged to You
Chapter 2

(a/n-sorry so short... had a busy weekend)

James’s POV

I reached out and pulled her away from them hoping that they hadn’t done anything to her yet. Had I actually heard her correctly? Had she really asked to die, and what could Voldemort possible want with her? She looked up at me with her dazzling emerald eyes and then fainted in my arms. Lily was just as beautiful as she was when she was 15. Sure the Three Broomsticks apron wouldn’t have been my first choice for apparel, but that was a minor flaw. Unwillingly, I gently put her down and stood back up. I wasn’t here to be reunited with the love of my life. I was here to do a job, and then leave as if things were just as they always were. After stunning 1 of the death eaters Sirius had come over to help me with the other two. After a long and straining battle the remaining death eaters apperated, and the Order and I were left with stunned and dead victims.

I left Sirius and went over to Lily. I lifted her up and checked for her pulse. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the she was breathing.

“Is she alright Prongs?” Sirius asked

“She just fainted.” I replied “Did you hear what she said?”

He nodded.

“Why would she ask for that?” I asked him, still attempting to comprehend the whole situation.

“James why do you think?”

“You’ve got to be joking… that was three years ago”

“You never let go of her did you?”


Sirius shook his head and me. Then he left me and went over to check on McGonagall and Flitwick. Had she really not let go of me after all this time? I brushed a lock of hair out of her face and carried her outside to where the healers from St. Mungo’s were beginning to gather. Against my heart, I placed her on a stretcher and went back inside for the others.


That night I went through everything over in my mind. She had been just as beautiful as she had been 3 years ago. Why was she still Lily Evans? Why hadn’t she gotten married? Why was she working in Three Broomsticks, she could be doing so much more? Why would she ask them to kill her? Why did she seem just as unhappy as me? Most of all why did I let her go?

I reached by my collar and pulled a silver chain out from under my shirt. On the chain dangled the ring I’d given her, the same ring she threw at me on the hardest day of my life. I fingered the ring as I remember how the whole thing began…

3 years ago, 2 days before I graduated Dumbledore called me up to his office and offered me a job. He asked me if I was willing to fight, and die for a cause. He told me I possessed talents (trickery) he could never dream of and that it would be a great honor to work with me. Being 17 and immensely big headed I immediately took the job, not thinking. Only considering that this was possibly the greatest honor I’d ever received. I’d actually been hand picked by Dumbledore.

Soon after leaving his office I ran into Lily making her rounds as head girl. She smiled at me as she ran up and embraced me in a hug. She loved me, and I loved her. Dumbledore told me it was a dangerous world. He warned me that I may not come back alive. What if I left her all alone with a baby? What if because of my job something happened to her? I’d never be able to live with myself. I loved her so much, but the only way she could be happy was if I broke it off. It was killing me, and as much as it hurt her to hear it, it hurt me 100 times more to say it. I had to tell her the world’s biggest lie. I had to tell her I didn’t love her. It was for her own good, this way she could be happy. She could have someone who’s always there for her. As long as she was happy, I’d be fine.

So here I am 3 years later, alone. There she is, alone. Neither of us are happy… and I know I made a mistake, but its too late to fix it.


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Chapter 4: Starting a new beginning
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Chapter 3
*Starting a beginning

(Lily's POV)

That arm, the strong and comforting arm that I had loved so long ago. Whenever he’d hug me or hold me I felt secure because I knew nothing would ever harm me. I thought that arm would always be there for me, holding me up when I needed it and keeping me strong. Yet when I woke up in St. Mungo’s, the arm and its owner were no where to be seen. James Potter had come back into my life for a small moment, and then vanished again. Potter hadn’t changed at all. His hair looked still uncontrollably messy. His eyes were still that marvelous shade of chocolatey brown, and his smile was just as dreamy as it had always been.

My heart throbbed and ached. It was like a missing piece of it had been returned for just a second and then ripped it away. Obviously he still didn’t care about me though. Cause he was no where in sight, he hadn’t even stuck around to see if I was alright. Though there was someone sitting on the edge of my bed who I was even more surprised to see. At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me then as things came more into focus I realized he really was there.

“Good Afternoon Miss Evans” he said

“Hello Professor Dumbledore, how have you been?” I hadn’t seen this man since one of the worst days of my life.

“Considering the circumstances I’m fine. It’s been quite awhile Miss Evans, too long.”

“I agree professor”

“Well firstly I would like to congratulate you.”

“Whatever for?”

“Are you aware that you stunned 4 death eaters?”

“Did I?” I asked surprised “I thought I only got one or two.”

“Ms. Evans…”

“Please call me Lily, Professor.”

“Lily, you have an extraordinary talent, and I’d like to offer you a job…”

I listened while Dumbledore explained about something he called “The order of the Phoenix”. He said it was an underground organization, separate from the ministry. Very “hush, hush”. It was dedicated to fighting against He-Who-must-not-be-named. He told me that they’ve already helped put several death eaters in Azkaban. He said me that it didn’t pay much and that would be dangerous, but seriously anything had to better than what I was living with now didn’t it? Much to his delight I accepted his offer; he’d send a member to start my training in a week or so. In the mean time I should turn in my 2 weeks notice at Three Broomsticks. I grinned at the thought of that.

Few days after I’d turned in my notice, the cute and adorably handsome Aaron Gablin showed up on my door step. He had been in Ravenclaw and a year ahead of me at school. He’d been quidditch captain of the Ravenclaw team and a pretty good beater too. James had hated him, I on the other hand had, had a slight crush on him in my earlier years. I embarrassedly looked down at what I was wearing. I had on a pair of sweat pants and a sweat shirt with the tower of Pisa on it. In my hand I held a candy bar, and I was pretty sure my hair hadn’t been brushed yet.

“Hello?” I stuttered

“Are you Lily Evans?” he asked


“Dumbledore sent me, I assuming you know why?”

“Of course, come on in.”

Aaron introduced himself and began explaining what we’d be doing. He told me he’d come over about an hour every day for the next week and we’d brush up on some of my defensive skills and charms.

Over that time Aaron and I became closer than I’d ever expected. He was the first guy I’d actually taken serious interest in, in the past 2 years. Even better, he seemed to have a thing for me too and after the last 4 nights we found ourselves having dinner together. He was a great guy, and incredibly sweet. His mind was smart, his hands were soft and strong, his eyes were blazing blue and his kiss was warm and comforting.

After our 7th session he gave me a portkey to Hogwarts and told me that I had to be at a meeting tomorrow at 10am. He kissed me goodnight and apperated out of my apartment.


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Chapter 5: An Old Beginning
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My Heart Belonged to You
Chapter 4
*An Old Beginning

The sun rose and the night turned to day. I’d spent the entire night tossing and turning, with one thing on my mind. Her. Her smile had come back into my life for a brief moment and life an idiot I’d let it go, twice! For the past week or so I’d been mentally kicking myself for not dropping by St. Mungo’s to see how she was. I wonder if she even knew it had been me who’d pulled her away from the death eaters. That didn’t matter though. This was my job and as much as my heart ached for her… I had a job to do. She had to be just like every other witch, wizard and muggle I’d ever helped. Unconnected. The only problem with that was that she wasn’t the same. She was different.

I rolled out of my bed and walked over to the mirror. I attempted to gel my hair down, but as always it didn’t help. I don’t even know why I bothered. I changed into a clean shirt and pulled on a pair of jeans. Then I picked up a McDonalds bag off my dresser… it took me to Hogwarts. (portkey)

With a thud I landed in the east tower of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I was familiar with this part of the castle, though many of the students here were not. During my school years Sirius and I had done some exploring around this area but we’d never found much. Now this was top headquarters for the order of the phoenix, and our weekly meeting was today. So carrying my McDonalds bag, I walked down the hallway. I was a bit early so I thought I’d drop in the kitchen and see if my good friend Dot could make up my usual. I tickled the pear and the portrait swung open. The tunnel was just as narrow as it always had been, and the elves were just as rushed and frantic as they were day after day, year after year.

“Ahs! Misters Potter! Welscome back!!! Is missed you!”

“Hello Dot” It’d been a few weeks since I dropped in the kitchen “Got anything left over for me?”

“Ofs course! Surely! Sits. Sit down at the table.”

I turned to my left and moved toward the table in the back corner of the kitchen. I thought my eyes were deceiving me as I saw someone sitting in my usual spot.


I crawled out of bed with a smile on my face. This morning I would not be serving cauldron cakes and butterbeer at Three Broomsticks, I would be starting my new job. I brushed my hair and pulled it up on the side. Then I slipped on a jean skirt and finished off my look with a peasant cut blouse. I pulled an empty m&m’s bag off the kitchen table and with a whoosh I was thrown into the east tower of Hogwarts.

With all my years at Hogwarts, I’d never been to the east tower once. Aaron had mentioned that it had been rarely used up until a year or two ago. The furnishings and tapestries on the walls seemed almost ancient. The lighting was dim and even though it had been day when I left… it was night? Odd… Hogwarts must be on a different time schedule… either that or an enchantment.

My stomach growled. In all the excitement I’d forgotten to eat. I didn’t think anyone would mind if I paid a quick visit to Dot? I mean… she’d always been happy to help out when James and I went on midnight snack trips 3 years ago… ugh. I really needed to stop doing that to myself. My stomach did a flip flop at the thought of Potter. I held back a few tears, I was not going to cry on my first day at work. Ugh… I wish that stupid git would just get out of my head!!!!

I walked a ways down the hallway until I came to a painting of a bowl of fruit. I reached up and tickled the pear. It giggle, and the portrait swung open. It had been a long time since I’d crawled down the tunnel, but I had done it so many times I knew exactly where I was going. As I came into the kitchen the elves swarmed me with delight!

“Miz Lili!” they chanted

“Tis beens so long. Sos very longs!” Dot said eagerly “What can I gets for miz lili?”

“Just a cup of coffee dear.” I responded

“Alrights. Sit downs at de table.”

Within a few minutes I was enjoying a cup of coffee while reading the daily prophet. The elves rushed to the door for one reason or another I paid no attention and instead read an article about how Cornelius Fudge was up for the job of Minister. Ha, that was a laugh. Cornelius had been a few years a head of me at Hogwarts, and from what I gathered he was a narrowminded twit. Dumbledore would make the ideal minister, but he’d never leave Hogwarts, everyone knew that.

As I glanced up from my paper, my eyes almost popped out of their sockets, and my heart fell way into the pit of my stomach. Standing a few feet away and staring directly at me was none other than James Potter.

I sat frozen stiff. Why? Of all the days I could be here, he was here to? For a moment it was if the elves didn’t exist, their frantic movements were completely oblivious to me. My eyes were focused on James Potter, no one and nothing else. He too seemed frozen. In the past 3 years we’d only ran into each other once before, and I’d been unconscious for it. Whoever I’d been expecting to see today, I’d never thought it be him. Obviously he’d thought the same. Why was he here? I didn’t know and as much as I didn’t want to, I cared, but why should I care when he didn’t about me? His hair was just as untidy as it had always been. His face showed no sign of happiness, but his chocolately brown eyes bore into my emerald ones. It was like I’d gone into a trance for a quick second, and then I was awakened by the sound of Dots voice.

“Misters James!!! Sits downs by Miz Lili! Sits!!!”

With my heart still in the pit of my stomach I tore my eyes away from him and went back to my paper. I wasn’t going to acknowledge him quite yet, in fear I’d say something that my heart just couldn’t take.

He moved closer and sat down at the table. I brushed a strand of hair out of my face and continued to focus on the story. He didn’t speak until Dot arrived with his cup of coffee.

“Lily, is that you?” he asked

I set my paper aside “Well of course it is stupid.” I said sounding a little more bitter than I wanted to.

He was taken back. I think I shocked him a bit, but did he honestly think that after 3 years of silence I was just going to become buddy buddy with him?

“How have you been?” he asked

“I’m just fine Potter.” I said sounding slightly annoyed. It was amazing, all I’ve wanted for the past 3 year was to see him again. Talk over exactly what happened because to this day I still had no clue why he broke it off. Now that he was here. I was angry with him and didn’t quite feel like going into details. I was very tempted to just stand up and leave, but I didn’t.

“Potter? Lils we haven’t been on a last name basis since 6th year.” Ow, my heart bent and twisted inside of me, Lils. That had been his pet name for me.

“My name is Lily, not Lils.”

“What’s with you?” He seemed confused.

I picked up my coffee and stood up. “I’m sorry Potter, but I have somewhere I have to be. Professor McGonagall asked me to give a lecture to some first years and I don’t want to be late.” Aaron had told me to tell no one I ran into the real reason I was there. He said that there were even some Hogwarts Professors Dumbledore didn’t quite trust.

“Lils, wait!” he said standing up.

I turned my head and without thinking I said “Potter Buzz off!”


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Chapter 6: Dimness
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My Heart Belonged to You
Chapter 5

^Lily's POV^
I stormed out of the kitchen, accidentally forgetting to thank Dot. How was it that everything bad happened to me? That was exactly not what I needed on my first day at work. All these years, I’d dreamed of James coming into Three Broomsticks and then saying he’d made the world’s biggest mistake. Then I’d hug him and everything would be fine. When I finally do run into him, all I can think of is what he did to me. He took my heart and shattered it in a million pieces. I’d wasted the past 3 years feeling sorry for myself. I should have just gotten over it. Ugh… now instead of feeling pain and ache at the thought of him, I felt hate and anger.

I walked down the hall cursing every kiss, every hug and everything he ever said to me. I pushed back the maroon tapestry in the east tower and went down the hallway. There were several doors, but Aaron had instructed me to go to the one with the silver knob. I stuck the tip of my wand into the keyhole and the door opened. A long table with at least 2 dozen witches and wizards was in front of me, and at the head of it sat Professor Dumbledore.

“Attention all, may I introduce our newest member of our committee of experimental charms (a/n-thanks M.O.J.!), Lily Evans.” He said as he stood up. “Lily please take the seat next to Professor Flitwick.” I nodded and sat down next to the tiny professor. Aaron was sitting on the other side of the table and he winked at me. I smiled, at least someone in this world cared about me.

“Lily how lovely to see you again” squeaked the professor “How have you been?”

“I’m fine professor…” I lied “…How about yourself?”

“Marvelous my dear, simply marvelous.”

Dumbledore went on “It seems as if most of our organization is here, with the exception of two…” I saw an empty chair next to Remus Lupin, and another next to Professor Delanora (the potions master). “…I trust that we’ve made progress in our committees?”

Professor Flitwick stood up “Professor, the Experimental Charms committee has been working on our project for quite sometime, our knowledge has progressed, but our efforts have been fruitless.”

Remus stood up “Our department has had a few technical difficulties concerning getting to where we need to be, when we need to be there…”

“…but we’re working on that.” James Potter stood in the door way. I should have known. I really should have. I don’t exactly know why it did cross my mind before. James was a member of the Order, he’d be there that day in Three Broomsticks, and he showed up in a crowd of teachers and other aurors. Why hadn’t I put 2 and 2 together? Was I really that dim?

He walked from the doorway and around the table. Then he sat next to Remus. He looked over at me and tried to catch my eye but I refused it.

“Hello Mr. Potter.” Said the professor as if he was greeting an old friend

“Hello Professor, sorry I’m late. I ran into a problem.”

“Nothing to serious I hope?” he asked

“Nothing that can’t be fixed.” When James said this he looked back over at me and winked. I felt my face turn red with anger; he seemed just as arrogant as he was when he was 15.

“Good. Mr.Gablin, how is your training and recruiting organization coming?”

“Quite well for the most part. We’re having difficulty with our trust issues though. Training is easy. Recruiting is where the problems are progressing.”

“Easily understood…” Dumbledore began. He talked for awhile about the committees and what their main projects were and how they were coming. There were five, the Committee of experimental charms, the committee of training and recruiting, the organization of protection and retaliation, the committee for the recruiting and welfare of magical creatures and the committee of unspeakable sources. Professor Flitwick explained to me that our main job was to find old curses and useful curses and to look for a source of protection against the unforgivable ones. The committee of training and recruiting was to find trustworthy and skillful wizards and witches willing to help. The committee for the recruiting and welfare of magical creatures was headed by Hagrid. They were attempting to keep the giants, dementors etc. from siding with Voldemort. The committee of protection and retaliation was headed by none other than James Potter. They were basically aurors who worked on the side for Dumbledore as well as for the ministry, and finally the committee of unspeakable sources was Dumbledore’s inside information. They were so secret that nobody knew who they were, even other members of that committee didn’t know.

After the meeting was over Dumbledore dismissed us and I walked over to Aaron. He smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek.

“Hello Darling.” He greeted me “Well what do ya think?”

“It’s a lot to absorb, what was all that training for? If I’m not going to be fighting…”

“In emergency’s we’re all called in… Potter can’t handle them all by himself.”

“Oh.” I groaned

“You wanna go to Hogsmeade for lunch?”

“Why not?” I took his hand and as we were leaving I glanced over at James. I saw his jaw drop. For a little more effect, I turned my head back to Aaron and kissed him.


We ate lunch at Magsayla’s Pixiedust a restaurant on the edge of Hogsmeade past the Hogs Head. It was a quiet little outdoor restaurant with umbrellas and fufu drinks. I had some sort of a bright pink cocktail, with a little toy crystal ball floating in it.

After we ate Aaron left me at Madame Salieron’s market, I needed to get some herbs for potion I was planning on making a within a few days. Just as I was checking out someone tapped me on the shoulder.

Behind me stood James Potter and he wasn’t smiling.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you.” He said, still not smiling.

“I am perfectly capable of making a froth potion… there’s no reason why I shouldn’t.”

“That’s not what I talking about. I thought you had more sense in this area. You need to stay away from Aaron.” He said as his face became still and serious.


“Lils since when are we on a last name basis?”


“Aaron’s no good. He trains girls, dates em and dumps em.”

“Aaron care about me, unlike some people! Listen James, you erased yourself from my life for 3 years! Why can’t u just disappear again, because I personally want nothing to do with you.”

“I know what I’m talking about. You know from experience that I’m usually right about these things. Plus you trust me, or you used to.”

I glared at him

“Do what you want.” He told me “If you want your heart shattered be my guest…”

“Potter you already did that for me!!!!”

He look stunned. I shoved the groceries in his hands and said “You take care of this… I don’t think I can stand to be by you much longer.”

With that I apperated out of the store… and left him standing awestruck.

*~end of chapter 5~*


Chapter 7: Rings and Remembrance
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a/n- because I'm an idiot I have no clue how to italic words so when you see something like ~.........~ that means it would normall be italic

My Heart Belonged to You
Chapter 6
*Rings and Remembrance

^Lily's POV^
With my heart pounding and my head hurting I landed in my apartment. My first day with the order had been the world’s biggest headache. The last thing I needed was James Potter breathing down my neck and telling me how to live the life he’s stayed out of for 3 years. I was angry at him for being just as annoying as he’d been in 5th year. I was mad at Dumbledore for neglecting to mention that James was part of the order, but mostly I was mad at myself. I shouldn’t have let that little git get to me. He didn’t know what he was talking about did he? I mean Aaron’s the best thing that’s happened to me in ages. Potter was just full of himself.

I went into the kitchen and mentally kicked myself for not bring the herbs home. I needed to make a froth potion for my curlif plant… it was near death, and it usually brought a certain glow to my room. It was kinda like what muggles would refer to as aromatherapy. Something that relaxed you, made you clam, and with Potter’s sudden entrance into my life I would need it. He seemed just as big of a prat as he’s been back in 5th year. I don’t get him, I honestly don’t.

There was a knock at my door, assuming it was Aaron I put a smile on my face and went to open it. But it wasn’t Aaron. James Potter was standing on my door step carrying the herbs I’d shoved at him in the store.

“Hey Lils…”

“Please don’t hey lils me!” I said trying to hold back tears and show fury at the same time.

“But you told me to…”

“James, just do us both a favor and leave me alone like you’ve done for 3 years.”


“Just go away!” I cried as I shut the door in his face.

“But Lils…” he shouted through the door

“James… you’ve caused me enough pain. Just leave me alone…” I cried “…Please James just leave me alone.”

“Fine… Lils if that’s what…”

“Please just go.”

There was a silence for a short time… I thought he’d gone, but I was wrong.

“Alright, I’ll leave for now, but I’ll always be here, always.”

“That’s what you said 3 years ago and look at what happened!”

With tears streaming down my face I ran into my bedroom and sobbed on my pillow… and eventually I cried myself to sleep.

I awoke to ‘thump thump thump thump thump’ on my window. An owl was hitting its beak against the glass. He looked to be a magnificent creature, very proud and proper. I stood up and let the bird in. He dropped a rose and a slip of paper on my dresser, naturally I assumed it was from Aaron. Yet, as you probably guessed I was wrong… the note was short and simple.

Just give me a chance, listen to what I have to say.
Love Always

I crumbled the note up and threw it in the trash can, but it flung itself out. Then it neatly uncrumpled itself, and as if a invisible person was writing it more words appeared on the paper.

~How easily you forget who your dealing with…~

James had a spell for everything, and he knew me well enough to know that the note was probably going straight to the trash.

~…just hear me out.~

Why in the world would I hear him out? I had no desire what so ever to listen to what he had to say. So I picked up the note and through it in fire. The note flung itself out of the fire, shooting sparks in ever direction. More text appeared on the paper.

~Lily, I’m outside on your porch. Come out and talk to me.~

STALKER! Potter had turned insane!! Now he was scoping out my house? What the heck was that freak thinking? In a final attempt to get rid of the note I opened the window and as I threw the parchment out the owl flew out too.

A few seconds later the parchment was pressed neatly against my window, with more writing below it. I walked away from the parchment without giving it another glance.

Now that I was ignoring the parchment, you’d think that all my problems would be resolved, correct? WRONG! You forgot the little detail of James Potter pathetically camping out on my door step, and in addition to the piece of parchment pressed against my window, the owl was there… tapping and tapping and tapping. Driving me insane…

Three days later I could take it no longer. I let the owl and the parchment in. Both messages said the same thing.

~Lily, just trust me. Come outside.~

After a long debate with myself I took a deep breath and opened my door. James was lying on the swing sleeping but my opening the door had woken him up.

“Sit down” he said “We need to talk.”

“Do we?” I asked

“More than you could ever imagine.” With saying that he reached under his shirt and pulled out a silver chain. On the chain dangled the ring he’d given me four years ago. My mouth practically dropped to the floor.



Chapter 8: My Heart Belonged to You
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Chapter 7- My heart belonged to you
*Lily's POV*

“That’s… that’s…” I stuttered “That’s… my ring.”

“I know, and it’s been on this chain and around my neck since the day you threw it at me.”

“But why?” I sat down “You told me you made a mistake! You told me you didn’t love me! You told me that you lied… You dumped me like every other…”

“I lied.”

If it was possible for my mouth to drop any lower it did. What did he mean he lied? Why the hell would he lie about something like that? To torment me? To make me go crazy? To make me miserable?

“Lily I love you, I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”

“But you said…” I was starting to cry

“Everything that came out of my mouth that day was a lie.”

“Then why…”

“Because I had to, it was for your own good.”

“My… own… good? Hoooow could that… pooossibly been for… my own gooooddd?”

“There’s something you don’t know.” I looked up at him “Here, dry your eyes.” He handed me a hanky and then he began to tell me the whole story. How Dumbledore had called James into his office. How James became the youngest of the first members of the order. I knew he wanted to fight against Voldemort, I’ve always known it so this part didn’t surprise me, but what he said next did.

“…and Lily I didn’t want anything to happen to you. I mean after we were married…” he blushed “…I could have gotten you pregnant. Then had I died you’d have been left alone to raise our little tyke all by yourself. Or what if something happened to you because of my job, I could have never lived with myself. I was only trying to protect you… you were all I had on my mind. I broke it off for your own good.”

Then he was done, and we both sat in silence. My tears had been dried, the full story had come out and I was more confused than I’d ever been before. Then he unclasped the chain and pulled the ring off of it.

“Lily, I want you to have this. Now that we’re both in the Order we can try it again.”

This was the moment I’d been waiting for, for three years. Three years of misery, three years as a counter girl and three years of heart ache. This is what it’s all led up to. Here he was. Here was the ring and now it was my turn to talk. He asked a question, he deserved an answer and he was waiting. IT was my turn.

“James Potter you are the most thick headed person in this universe…” I had rage boiling inside of me “I loved you. I would have given the world for you. Do you honestly think that I’ve been happy these past 3 years? I’ve spent 3 years as a counter girl and it’s all your fault! You told me you loved me, then you told me you lied… and now your telling me that was a lie? How do I know you’re not lieing now?...”

“But Lils…”

“Don’t but Lils me! These past 3 years have been completely wasted because you didn’t want anything to happen to me. Well Potter you got your wish. Nothing, absolutely nothing has happened to me. I’ve gotten enough sympathetic looks to last me a life time. My life was a vacuum. Everyday just the same as the one before. Over and over again…”

“You know that’s…”

“Save it Potter. I’ve gone 3 years without any word from you whatsoever. Then you come waltzing back in to my life, like some knight in shining armor and save me from a crowd of death eaters. Then you disappear without a trace again. Do you think you can keep doing this to me? Worst of all you think this whole thing is just peachy, and that we can pick up right from where we left off?”

“Can’t we…”

“No! Absolutely not! Potter you don’t seem to get it. What you did to me was 1000 times worse than if something had happened to me. Had you left me with a baby? I would have been glad for the time we had together, but you just broke it off. With no explanation what so ever. Did you ever think of how that made me feel? I loved you James Potter, I loved you with all my heart.”

“Well we can just start…”

I stood up.

“No we can’t.” I told him

“Why not?”

“James, I loved you once. I trusted you with important thing in the world, my heart.”

“But you still…”

I had my hand on the door knob and was just getting ready to leave him sitting there. But I turned to him a final time “James, My heart belonged to you. You had it and then you shattered it into a million pieces. I loved you once, but I can never forgive you for what you did.”

He sat there stunned and I opened the door and went back inside. Then with a loud BANG the door slammed behind me.



OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! I LUVVVVVV YOU ALL! TWENTY REVIEWS FOR THE LAST CHAPTERS!!!20!!!!!!!!!! ok OMG and 12 of them came within the first 24 hours!! OMG OMG OMG!! I luv you all!!! I luv you!! I'm sorry this chapter was SOOO SHORT! but I had exams... sorry! sorry! sorry! I will TRY and make chapters longer! anywho... HAPPY SUMMER TO JEANNIE!! Time to hit the pool! Next chapter will bd up next weekend!!

Oh yes, and if any of you haven't been to you REALLY NEED TO GO!! it's supposidly actually run by her!! she responds to rumors she's heard about what's going to happen in her books in the future!! my favortie was

RUMOR:Lily is really evil
JK's Response: HOW DARE YOU!

lol isn't that great?


Chapter 9: At War With Head and Heart
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LAST TIME ON my heart belonged to you:
I had my hand on the door knob and was just getting ready to leave him sitting there. But I turned to him a final time “James, My heart belonged to you. You had it and then you shattered it into a million pieces. I loved you once, but I can never forgive you for what you did.”

He sat there stunned and I opened the door and went back inside. Then with a loud BANG the door slammed behind me.


Chapter 8
-At War With Head and Heart

*James POV*

BANG. The door slammed and she was gone behind it. She seemed sure of herself, so I picked myself up and left. She was right, I blew the whole thing 3 years ago. I’d made the biggest mistake ever. She loved me once, but it was over. Done with. I pocketed the ring, I’d take it to Diagon Ally in the morning and pawn it off. Sadly I left her porch and went to my father’s manner in a Liondust Ridge.

I walked the entire way home. When I opened the door I saw Sirius half asleep on the couch. But when I shut the door behind me it awoke him and he leapt up.

“What did I tell ya Prongs? I knew she was still head over heels for you! Three nights man, wow!!! Even I’ve never made that long of an unscheduled trip.” He winked and I felt worse than I had when I left Lily’s. Sirius was a big lady’s man and heartbreaker. When you’re gone over night he assumes one thing. He tends to jump to conclusions when it comes to girls. A few rocks hit my stomach, I didn’t feel quite like explaining this one.

“If she was head over heels, then why did she throw me out?” I asked him.

“Prongs… how many times have I warned you about coming on to fast…”

“I never even got inside the house.”

“Then where were you?”

“Outside, on the porch, waiting.”

“You sat out there, for 3 days?”

“Yea, biggest mistake I ever made, hey do me a favor.” I tossed the ring to him “Take this to Diagon Ally tomorrow, give it to the junk man and maybe he can melt it down.”

“But Prongs, you held on to this for…”

“It’s time for me to let go.”


Lily’s POV

Well if there’s a prize for rotten judgment, I’ve won it. I’m done with James Potter, permanently. No man is worth that aggravation. It’s ancient history. I’ve been there and done that and I’m not going back.

I avoided Potter at the order’s meetings, but this wasn’t difficult. He had his own committee a committee which I thankfully wasn’t part of. He wasn’t winking at me during meetings or trying to catch my eye. He was just there.

One thing however that I didn’t like was that lately Sirius seemed to be fallowing me. It seemed as if everywhere I went he was in an eye shot. He was always close behind at the meetings and trailing me silently in Diagon Ally. It was creepy. I’d never liked Sirius much to begin with. He was always a bit of an arrogant git. He’s gotten James into tons of trouble throughout our years at Hogwarts. (Then again it wasn’t as if James was an innocent bystander.) He’d been a stud when it came to girls. He’d pulled countless pranks on me, and I didn’t trust him. At all.

It was mid-march. It’d been at least 6 months since the death eaters had arrived in three broomsticks. Aaron and I were coming back to my apartment after getting an ice cream. We were sitting on a bench outside the courtyard, and I could sense that we weren’t alone.

“Do you have any clue how beautiful you are?” he ask me and I blushed “I must be the…”

…But I zoned out. My eyes weren’t looking at him. They were focus on two bright yellow spots in the bushes over his shoulder.

“…was thinking what if…” but I cut him off.

“Do you see that?” I asked

“What Darling?”

“Do you see that? In the bush over there…”

“It’s probably just your imagination, you have the prettiest eyes, they sparkle and shine like emeralds…” and he leaned into kiss me but I pulled away

“No Aaron, there’s something in there…”

“We’ll look for it later…” he moved closer again.

“Something’s watching us.”

“Let it watch…” he moved in for a third time and put his lips on my neck. The next thing I know the yellow spots are no longer floating in the bush. They’ve taken their full form of eyes on a large black dog. It flung itself over to us and tackled Aaron.

They fell to the ground and the massive beast growled and snarled at him. Eventually the dog began scratching and biting so Aaron shouted to me “…Lily run… I’m gonna apperate. I’ll see you…” but with a whoosh he was gone and I was left with the dog that was now calm and laying on his back. I looked the dog in the eye and said annoyed “Alright Black, I’m sick of these games…” the pup tilted his head at me ”What do you want?” I asked with my temper slightly rising.

The beast began running around in circles chasing its tail and barking playfully.

“Sirius, I’m not stupid. I know its you.” But the dog continued to run in circles.

“Sirius, NOW!!!” I shouted and slowly the playful animal changed into a tall man with long black hair.

“You were always a spoil sport, ya know that Evans?” he said angrily

“Hmm.” I replied “Well let see, you just tackled my boyfriend. Why wouldn’t I be somewhat angry?”

“You have no sense of humor.”

“You have no sense whatsoever!”

“Thanks Evans, I think you’re wonderful too.” He said sarcastically

“Cut the crap…”

“whoa somebody’s learned a new word since last time we spoke. Never thought I’d see the day when Lily Evans would say a cuss…”

“oh shut it!” why was it that Sirius and I could never carry a decent conversation “Just tell me why the hell…”

“…Another new word! Bravo in expanding your vocab…”

“…Tell me why you’re here.” I said annoyed, a conversation with Sirius could be more exhausting than running a mile.

“You’ve become slightly more demanding. Maybe I don’t want to tell you…”


“Stalking is a bit of a strong word. I wouldn’t take it THAT far.”

“Just tell me.” I asked him slightly calmer.

“Cause I think you and Prongs…” he began

“Anything to do with Potter is none of my concern.” I told him

“Evans, he still loves you…”

“He sure has a MARVELOUS way of showing it!” I said extremely annoyed

“Evans, he sat out on your porch for THREE nights. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?!”

“Nothing. I want nothing to DO WITH HIM!”

“You were both crazy about each other!”

“Ya we were weren’t we? But you know what? He messed that up. I’m fine now. He needs to get over it.”

“You still love him to.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Why else would you have wasted away all that time sulking around without a boyfriend?”

I stared at him for a second. I honestly had no clue how to reply to that. Finally I got sick of this overly exhausting conversation. It was time for me to leave.

“I’ve had enough of this. I’m going to find Aaron.” I told him and I turned to go away, but he wouldn’t let me have the last word.

“might as well not.”

I wanted to walk away, but I had to know what that meant. “And why is that?” I asked him

“Cause you’ll never be happy with him!” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

“What makes you say that? You have no idea what’s going on in my life. You’ve, thankfully been removed from it for just as long as Potter has.”

“You won’t be happy…” and for the first time I saw a glitter of seriousness in his eyes “…because he’s not James.”

I sat back down on the bench puzzled.

“Just something to think about Evans.” He said “Looks like my work here is done.” He glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching, then he transformed back into his dog form, ran into the bushes and was gone.

I stayed there for along time with my head hurting and my heart pounding. Usually I ignored anything and everything Sirius said but for once I had listened and as much as I didn’t want to admit it he was right.

James still loved me.

And as angry as I was at him…

…and as much as he had hurt me…

…and as much as I didn’t trust him…

…and even though my head told me it was a bad idea…

…deep down in the very pit of my heart I still loved James Potter. That was the reason I’d never tried to get another boyfriend. That was the reason I sulked around for three years, because I still loved him.

You can get over love in 2 months.
You can get over big love in 2 years.
But James and I had great love, and great love changes you’re life forever.

Now, my heart and my head were at war, and I didn’t know what to do and which to listen to.


Hello to all my faithful reviewers!!! Hope you enjoyed this chappie I don't think it's one of my betters but I had a bit of a problem writing it... anywho next chapter will be next weekend.


oh yea, and just so I don't get in trouble... the love, big love, great love was partly borrowed from "win a date with tad hamilton" I luv that movie and that perticular line from it.

Luv ya!


Chapter 10: Well we've all changed
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Chapter 9
Well we’ve all changed

I got up off the bench and apperated myself back to my apartment. Still confused and befuddled I walked myself into my bedroom where a dozen roses were waiting on my bed. I sat down at the foot and picked up the bouquet. The card said

To Lily my love,
I hope you can forgive me for leaving you with the dog. I hope you’re alright. Please forgive me. I can’t live without you.
Love always and forever

Technically I should be mad at Aaron. It hadn’t even crossed my mind because the whole time I had known it had been Sirius. As much as I don’t like Sirius, I know he’d never actually attack me. Yet Aaron had left me with the ferocious monster without knowing that? Did he really care as much as he said he did? I decided to let it slide, it hadn’t even crossed my mind in the first place, plus he’d sent me roses and there was a bigger task at hand.

Nervously I sat up and walked over to my closet. I opened the door and began tossing clothes, robes, books and boxes out. It had to be back here somewhere. Finally after almost the entire contents of my closet was out on my bedroom floor I found the little red leather box sitting in the back left corner. This was what I’d been looking for. I pulled it out from in between a few books and walked around the clutter on my floor back to my bed. I blew the dust off the top of the box and opened the lid. Inside were all the little mementoes I’d saved from my relationship with James. There were dried roses, old receipts, a set of earrings he’d given me and a bracelet that matched it, a stuffed teddy and crystle as large as my thumb. After James had dumped me, I’d put all these things in this box and stored them away. To this did I didn’t know why they weren’t long gone in a dumpster… Actually I did. Sirius had just told me. I still had a soft spot for James buried under all that hate. The only question was what to do about it?

I came to a simple solution. The fact was I didn’t trust James. If we were to try it again what’s to say that he won’t shatter my heart like he’s done before? Plus now I have Aaron, and I do love Aaron. I really do… I think.

After putting the box away I brushed Potter from my mind for awhile. I buried myself in my work. I had piles of old charms books sitting on my dresser and I could easily be found pouring through them at all hours of the day. I dragged the books to the ice cream parlor in Diagon Alley, Three Broomsticks, the courtyard outside my apartment and any other random place. So far I’d found 3 charms that would be help, now the only problem was figuring out how to use them. They were written in old English, which was as difficult as reading gibberish. It was comprehendible but it took time. With charms directions need to be precise and it’s difficult to know what exactly you’re supposed to do. Then after figuring the directions, there’s the problem of actually doing the charm.


I was sitting on a swing in the courtyard when someone came up behind me, covered my eyes and said “Guess who?”

It took me a second to figure it out. It was a man, a man whose voice I recognize but couldn’t place.

“Come on lily think!” said the voice. There was a clue in there. The person had called me Lily. Not Evans and not Lils. That ruled out Potter, Sirius and a few others… then it dawned on me. I took the hands off my eyes and before turning my head to see him I said “Hello Remus.”

“Took you long enough.” He said fun-lovingly. He moved himself from behind the swing and sat down beside me. I didn’t mind. Remus and I usually got along. He wasn’t like Sirius who constantly drove me up the wall with rage, James who made my insides curl with anger or Peter who was pesky and slightly clingy. He was Remus, a genuinely nice and sweet guy.

“I haven’t seen you in ages.” Which as pathetic as it sounds was true. Sure he was in the order with me, but he was usually with James. Which was a place that for my own sanity I decided I wanted nothing to do with.

“Ya I know.” He replied

“So how are you?” I asked, and he told me about his brother who was studying in Australia and his job search. For a werewolf it’s a bit hard to find work. Poor guy.

Eventually I realized from Remus’s uneasiness that this was not a social call. There was a reason he was here…

“Sorry to interrupt… but is there a particular reason you’re here?”

“Actually there is, I guess there’s no use beating around the bush. Look Lily you need to talk to…”

“If you’re going to say what I think you are, please don’t.”


“How did I know I that was coming?”

“I have no clue, if I remember correctly you were never any good at Divination.”

“haha very funny.” But it was true. I was awful at divination.

“I thought it might lighten the mood, but you need to talk to him.”


“But Lily… Look I don’t know exactly what happened between you two, James didn’t like to talk about it much. And I don’t know what Sirius said to you, but you need to atleast give James a chance.”

“You don’t exactly know what happened? Well let me fill you in…” I said starting to get a bit aggravated. “…James and I were in love, or so I thought. He told me when we got out of Hogwarts we’d get married. We’ll things never seem to work out for the best when it comes to me! This job comes along and he decides that he’d rather have it than me.”

“that doesn’t sound like him.”

“Ya it doesn’t, does it? But it happened, and I can never forgive him for it.”

“It’s been three years… that’s an awfully long time to hold a grudge.”

“Of course it’s a long TIME! Do you think I don’t know that? I spent all those years miserable! That TWIT broke it off without ANY EXPLANATION! I spent those entire THREE YEAR, ALL OF THE 1095 DAYS WONDERING WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH ME!!! Why would I EVER put myself through that AGAIN?! I CAN’T AND I WON’T…” I’d begun crying “It was AWFUL NOT KNOWING WHY… and then I found out. He was a selfish and uncaring fool! He didn’t want to leave me by myself! He didn’t what anything to happen to me. So he broke it off before someone got hurt… WELL GUESS WHAT. I GOT HURT ANYWAY, AND I…” I burst into a loud and wailing cry

“shh. Shh. Lily its ok…” and he pulled out a hanky and wiped a tear from my eye.

“Remus… if… you… are… my friend. You won…’t ask me… to talk to him.”

“You don’t even want to be friends with him. Just try that.”

“No… I can’t…”

“Alright then. James can be miserable.”

“Good.” I said as I was calming down. “He can go through what I did.”

“Lily that doesn’t sound like something you’d say.”

“Well we’ve all changed.”

“Yes, we have. Cause the old Lily’s eyes would be open enough to see that she wasn’t the only one who was miserable all that time. James was too. He wore that ring everyday, and not a day went by that he didn’t mention you…” He stood up “...look who it is.”

For a second I thought it was going to be James. Had it been I would have blow him to shreds, but it wasn’t. It was Aaron who was wearing a nice set of dress robes and holding another dozen roses.

“Hello Lily darling…” a look of confusion spread across his face “…Lupin? What are YOU doing here?”

“Just visiting.” He told him.

“Well if you don’t mind. Lily and I have reservations at Stardust on Jupiter’s ninth moon and we need to be leaving.”

“I don’t mind at all. Good bye Lily… I hope I’ll be seeing you soon?” he asked

“Perhaps, bye Remus.” And with a ‘pop’ he was gone.

“These are for you.” Said Aaron as he handed me the bouquet “Ready?”

“Just let me run upstairs and change.” I left him out in the court yard and ran up the stairs to my apartment. I threw on my bottle green dress robes and put an emerald necklace on. Stardust was a very expensive restaurant.

As I headed back down the stairs, I got the feeling that something was going to happen tonight. I’d been expecting it for awhile and had decided that when he eventually asked me I’d say yes. I’d be crazy not to. It would be good for me to get my mind away from James. It would be good for me to be Mrs. Aaron Gablin.

*~End of Chapter nine~*

Chapter 11: Jaw Dropping
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Chapter 10
Jaw Dropping
*James Pov

“Ok mate it’s time to cheer up, I got you a date.” Sirius said as he threw a pillow at me “You’ve got to stop sulking about Evans.”

“Sirius! I don’t want a date.” I responded overly annoyed “And I’m NOT sulking.”

“hmm well I call sitting on your butt all day and not having a girlfriend since you dumped Evans, sulking.”

“I’m not going.”

“You’ll go, even if I have to drag you there by your ear.”

“I’m not going!”

“I already told Arysta that you were.”

“Well then it looks like you’re going to have two dates for tonight.”

“Prongs… come on! I’ll put you in a body bind and levitate you there if I must!”

I knew he wasn’t joking so I picked myself up and asked “What’s her name again?”

“Arysta. She’s 20, tall, blond and foreign!”

“from where?”

“No clue, couldn’t understand her enough to find out.”

“Oh joy this will be fun won’t it?” I groaned “Where are we going?”

“Stardust, on the 9th moon of Jupiter.”

“You want me to pay 30 galleons for a dinner with a girl I won’t be able to talk to all night?”

“Ya…” he said as if there was nothing wrong with that


*Lily’s POV*

Aaron and I arrived at Stardust in a carriage pulled by horses of fire. It was one of the most romantic rides I’d ever had. Aaron and I rode through the galaxy under the blanket of stars while sipping Champaign and eating chocolate covered strawberries.

We arrive a little after 8, and sat at a table made completely out of crystal. There technically was no building, Stardust was completely outside. In the center of the area was a large bond fire (a/n- remember Jupiter is COLD!) and tables just like ours in a circular formation around it. It was pure bliss. I’d never seen a more beautiful place in my life. The pitch black sky was lighted only by the stars above me. The waiter came and I ordered malicot with pumpkin sauce… when the waiter left us Aaron reached over and took my hand… this was it!

*James POV- a few minutes ago.*

I walked into stardust extremely annoyed with Sirius and my date. Arysta seemed nice enough the problem was I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. I had to wave my hands around like an idiot using motions to get my point across.

We sat a crystal table on the far side of the bond fire. Trying to make the best of this I attempted to communicate with Arysta again.

“So where are you from?”

She seemed to understand what I was saying but broke out in a language I’d never even heard of. She might as well have just been saying ‘blah, blah, blah’

“That’s nice.” I lied

And she went on rambling some more. Finally I was done with it! I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Look Arysta, I’m sure you’re a very nice person, but the fact is I can’t understand anything you’re saying.”

“bluh?” she asked

“Sirius can take you home. Bye Arysta.”

I felt bad about it, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I honestly couldn’t.

*Lily’s POV*

Aaron picked up my hand and held it.

“Lily we’ve known eachother for a pretty long time.”

“Yes we have.” I grinned, this was it!

“Not only are you my girlfriend, but you’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend too.”

“Lily I want you to be my wife.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little black box. “Lily, will you marry me?”

Inside was a sparkling and shimmering gold band with a princess cut diamond in the center. My heart leapt. This was the moment I’d been waiting for since I was 5 years old. I was ready to be a mother and a wife. My biological clock was ticking…

“I love you. James I want to be your wife.” I said wholeheartedly. Then I clasped my hands over my mouth realizing what I just said. Where the heck had that come from? Actually I knew, I’d practiced saying it thousands of times in front of the mirror at the end of 7th year… but why? Why did that have to come out of my mouth now? Did I love James? Sirius had drug it out of me weeks ago. I do love him, I don’t want to, but I do.

A look of disappointment passed over Aaron’s face, but worst of all was that behind Aaron’s chair stood James Potter who’s jaw was dropped practically to the floor.


Chapter 12: I love you, but I can't
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Chapter 11
*I love you, but I can’t

The three of us were frozen for a few brief moments. It was if time had stopped moving. My hand was still clasped over my mouth, James’s jaw was still hanging on the floor, and my heart went out to Aaron. He loved me. I knew he did, and I can’t believe I just did that to him. On his face he bore a look off utter disappointment and sadness. Finally I took Aaron’s hand and said “Aaron I’m really, honestly and truly sorry, but I can’t do this.”

He nodded and I gave him a quick peck on the cheek. I left the two of them standing there and I walked out of stardust. I apperated back to my apartment. I laid down, still fully dolled up and as I fell asleep the only thing I could think was ‘I can’t believe I just did that’


The next morning I woke up confused and upset. I ruined everything between Aaron and me. Sure I didn’t love him as much as I had loved James but he’d still been my best friend for the past few months.

On my table sat a note.

Meet me out in the courtyard

I should have been expecting that. The only question was wither I wanted to go outside or not. I thought about it for a long time and eventually I bit the bullet and went outside.

James was sitting on the bench. His untidy black hair blowing in the wind while he was playing with that stupid snitch he’s had since 4th year. I sat down and I couldn’t look at him, thankfully he broke the silence.



“No let me.” He said “Look Lily. I love you. I’ve always loved you, I know what I did was stupid, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I know you love me too…”

“…but James…”

“…please let me finish. I know you love me too and you can’t deny it because you said it, and I heard you. Can’t we just try it between us again? I love you lily and I promise this time I won’t let anything screw it up.”

“…James I won’t deny it. I do love you. Deep down I’ve had a soft spot for you even after you broke it off.” I said sincerely “but…”

“why does there have to be a but?”

“but that fact is I can’t trust you.”

“I made one mistake. I didn’t want to let anything happen to you. I know it wasn’t right, but I was acting out of love… I love you lily, you love me. Why can’t we try and fix it?”

“I love you James, but I don’t want to.”

“Why not?” he asked looking confused

“Sure you dumped me ‘for my own good’ but you broke my HEART!” I said starting to tear up.

“No Lily please don’t cry…”

“I would have gone with you…”

“That’s exactly what I didn’t want. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know.” And the tears started to rolled down my cheeks “But don’t you think that I would have rather had just a little time with you than none at all? Don’t you think I would have been better with you, than a counter girl at three broomsticks?”

“I… I… I… never thought of it that way…” he said sadly

“Maybe you should have… we’d both be a lot better off right now.”

“Give me another shot Lily. I’ll never do anything like that again… I swear.”

“ya…” now I was sobbing “You swore you’d always love me to…”

“I always have.”

“You swore that you’d never break my heart.” I cried and he put his arm around my shoulder “noo… don’t.”

“But lily… I love you. You love me. We’re meant for each other…”

“Didn’t you hear me the first time.” I said attempting to dry my eyes “I love you, but I can’t!”

“Yes you can!” he pleaded

I put my head in my hands and began to cry again. “James I can’t put myself through this with you again…”

“But Lily…”

“No, James I can’t. I need to go.” I stood

“Lily wait…”

But I kept walking…


ok everyone sadly there are only 3 more chapters left in this... however I have a new story up!! It's called "A Trick of Time" it's another Lily and James. For those of you who've been reading it the next chapter was just posted!! Thank you to all my reveiwers!! WAHOO! WE BROKE 200 REVIEWS!! and I'm sorry this was so short, but its summer and believe it or not I DO have a life outside of fanfiction! Expect the next chapter in a week.

Luv ya all!


Chapter 13: My Emerald Eyes
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Chapter 12
*My Emerald Eyes

I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. It was killing my heart and confusing my head. Every conversation I’d had with James over the past few months had been a strenuous one. In the market, on my porch and now this.

I hit my head against the wall several times. I was so confused, so unhappy and so incredibly in love with James Potter. It couldn’t be that way though, my heart ached for him but my head new better.

There was a knock at my door. I cried out “go away.” It was obvious it was James, and I couldn’t deal with him now. I just wanted to be alone. That’s all I wanted.

The knock came again.

“James I said go away. I don’t want to talk to you.” But to my surprise it wasn’t James voice who responded.

“Lily, it’s me. We need to talk.” Said the voice, and I knew immediately it was Aaron.

“No Aaron I’m just getting ready to leave…” I lied


“Come back in a few hours… I’m just getting ready to head out.” Seriously on top of everything Aaron was the last thing I needed to deal with.

“I don’t think so.” I heard him mutter. Then with a loud bang, the door flew open and there stood Aaron cloaked in black. The only visible part of him was his face. Behind him stood three others completely covered in black.

“Aaron… you’re scaring me… I don’t understand.”

“Oh, you will…. STUPIFY.”

As he shot the curse at me it clicked. Aaron was a death eater, probably one of the ones who had cornered me in Three Broomsticks. I didn’t have time to grab my wand. The curse hit me… and everything went black.


When my eyes finally opened I was laying on a bed in dreary room. My head and joints ached. I sat up and spotted Aaron sitting across the room.

“Aaron… what going on?” I asked him nervously, still having trouble analyzing the whole situation.

“You’ll know in time.” He responded.

“Why am I here…” I asked him

“The Dark Lord wishes to speak with you.”

Nervously I asked “Why am I not dead?”

“I told you months ago that he wanted you alive. Had it not been for that, you wouldn’t have been alive to see these past 8 months.”

A few rocks hit my stomach. “Why does he want to talk to me.”

“I’m afraid that it between you and the dark lord.”

“I still don’t understand… I thought you…”

“Of course you did.” He spat “You thought I loved you… Quite a brilliant plan of the dark lord’s. He said you were still so depressed about Potter that all I’d have to do was flirt with you and you’d fall madly in love with me. Heck things wouldn’t have ended up like this, had you just said yes yesterday. No, you HAD to make it complicated. Then we had to act quickly, you see I knew once you were back in Potter’s arms he’d have you under constant watch…”

“…why didn’t you just take me here months ago?” I asked confused. I’d been alone with Aaron at least a million times before, and he decides he has to break down my door and take me away by force the day after we broke up?

“The dark lord figured if we we’re married things would be easier and you’d come willingly and be more agreeable… that was a minor flaw in his plan.”

My heart kind of dropped. Aaron never had loved me, he was just fallowing orders. “…but what about all that stuff about ‘fighting off the scum.’ You told me during training. What about vanquishing the evil and leaving only good?” I asked in hope to find a trace of human compassion in him.

“Evans, there is no good, and no evil. Only power…” he began but was cut off.

“…Right you are my boy.” Said a figure standing in the doorway. I thought I was about to faint. This was Lord Voldemort. “Lily Evans, how nice to finally meet you.” He hissed

Even after all my training I was scared stiff. I was practically petrified.

“Gablin, remove yourself from my presence. I wish to speak with Ms. Evans alone.”

My head started pounding out of fear as Aaron walked out the door.

“Now Ms. Evans I’m sure you know why you’re here.”

“I do not.” I replied calmly even though I was shaking down to my knees

“Don’t play games with me girl…”

“I do not know why I’m here.”

“You’re EYES!!!” he yelled

“What about them…” I asked curiously

“Are you telling me that you have no idea what POWERS are growing within you?”


“The power to look into the unknown adventure. The ability to see what very few can and live to tell about it…”

“I don’t understand.”

“You are a vermuerteco!” he shouted “I am losing patience with you girl, just tell me what you see. TELL ME WHAT IT’s like.”

“I don’t…”


Pain shot through my veins and spread throughout my body. I screamed. I screamed louder and longer than I ever had before. This hurt more than anything I could have ever imagined.

“Join me. Together we could rule the heaven and the earth.”

The pain stopped. I had no clue what he meant… how was it possible to rule the heavens? I did know one thing though. I wasn’t joining him, ever.

“No.” I told him

“Maybe you need a little more persuasion…” but just as he raised his wand to me… *pop.* James Potter apperated into the room, I’d never been so happy to see him in my life. A few seconds after James arrived so did another half dozen aurors.


I went rigid on the bed and piercing pain filled my body. The aurors shot curses at him and then with a *pop* Voldemort disappeared and the pain slowly left me.

James yelled to the others “Search the place, let me know what you find.” Then he came over to me.

“Are you alright?” he asked me

“I’ll live.”

He kinda chuckled to himself “I told you Aaron was no good.”

“This isn’t exactly the time for that…” I groaned. I couldn’t move.

“I’ll be right…”

“No…” I cut him off “…don’t leave me. Please don’t.”

He looked shocked as he replied “Never again.” He bent down and kissed my forehead “Lets get you out of here.” He took my hand, and with another *pop* we left the horrid house.

*End of chapter*

Chapter 14: Vermuerteco
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Chapter 13

For a moment before James arrived at the house I had thought I wasn’t coming out alive. I let out a sigh of relief as we arrived at Hogwarts. I still didn’t quite understand why Voldemort wanted me. He called me a ‘vermuerteco’ whatever that was. However I knew enough about Voldemort to know that when he wanted something he’d do everything in his power to get it. Somehow I had a feeling that, that wasn’t going to be my last encounter with him.

James held my hand as we walked up the stair cases and through the winding halls. Eventually we made it to the statue of the gargoyle. We walked up the spiral stair case, and James knocked on the door.

“Come in Mr. Potter. Come in Lily.” He said from behind the other side of the door.

“He knows everything.” James said unamazed. He turned the knob on the door and we entered Dumbledore’s office. I was no stranger to this place. I’d been here several times in my years here at school. I glanced over at the sorting hat on the shelf and fawkes over in the corner. Still holding my hand, James led me over to Dumbledore.

“Sit down.” Said the old man, and we sat “Lily, I’m glad to see you’re back with us. I must tell you that we had the most difficult time locating you…”

“How long was I gone Professor?” I asked him

“Four days.” James answered as he squeezed my hand a bit harder.

“Four days? That’s impossible…”I replied

“It seems like it doesn’t it?” Dumbledore asked “We’ll the most important thing is that you’re ok.”

“I’m fine.” I told him

“Wonderful. Now please I need you to tell me what happened while you were in the house, and James please no interruptions.”

“Yes Sir.” James answered, and I began to tell my tale. I told Dumbledore how Aaron had showed up at my door and demanded to speak with me. I told him how he stunned me and then I woke up in the house. I talked about how Aaron had told me had he had he been able to he would have killed me months ago. Voldemort needed me though. Then when I got to the part about the vermuerteco, I questioned Dumbledore about it.

“Then he told me I was a vermuerteco, he mentioned my eyes, but I have no idea what he was talking about. What is it? What am I?”

“I was never quite sure about it Miss Evans, and I didn’t want to alarm you. Some witches and wizards, mostly dark ones view vermueretism as a gift and a blessing. I however see it as a curse. One sign of it is that your eyes are unusually bright…”

“but what does it mean?” I asked him

“It means that you have the power to see into the underworld, heaven, hell and purgatory. You hold the power to view the afterlife. Lily with proper training and meditation you have the ability, but I wouldn’t suggest exercising it. It causes nothing but depression and grief for those you’ve lost in your life span. You long to be near them, but you can only see them. It also reveals the evils and hatreds of hell. No mortal can emotionally withstand that. I would not recommend digging into it deeply, however you can do what you wish.”

“I still don’t understand, why did Voldemort want a vermuerteco?”

“Voldemort’s greatest fear is death. He wants to know what it is and if it even needs to be feared. With vermuertecism being very rare, he doesn’t have many options of those to assist him. Do you understand?”

“I think I do.”

“Good, Miss Evans you look as if you’ve been through a great ordeal. I must recommend that you get a good meal and then a nice long nap.”

“Yes Professor.”

“Goodbye Lily. James I trust you’ll escort her home?”

“Of course Professor.” He responded and with that he picked up a scrape piece of tin foil and the two of us went back to my apartment.

He sat me down on the couch and handed me a pink pill.

“Take it.” He told me “it help the pain.”

“How did you know?” I asked I hadn’t mentioned anything about the pain that was still twitching throughout me.

“Lily I’ve been under the craticus more time than I’d like to remember, trust me… I know.”

I thanked him and swallowed the pill. Instantly I felt a warmness rush through me. It soothed the pain and I smiled.

“Better?” he asked

“Ya a lot.” I said

“Are you hungry?” he asked me

“Kind of.”

“Well if its ok with you, why don’t we go out and get a bite to eat? My treat.”

“James I would but I’m kind of tired.”

“Oh alright.” He said slightly looking disappointed

“But why don’t we order in?”

He smiled and said “That’s an even better idea.”

About a half an hour later the pizza arrived. I was kind of surprised. He’d never eaten a pizza before. Heck he’d never even seen one. I smiled inwardly as he attempted to eat it. At first he tried cutting it, then folding it until I finally showed him how to do it. We both laughed, I hadn’t had this much fun in well… four years.

“James did you know I was a Vermuerteco?”

“Honestly Lily, it only crossed my mind once. They mentioned it once in a training course a few years ago. They said that it was rare and that vermuerteco’s usually had extremely bright eyes. Then I remembered yours.”

“You remembered mine?” I questioned him

“Lily there was never a day you were off my mind.” He picked up my hand again. “Lily, can we please try it again?”

I took a deep breath “Not now…” his face fell a bit “Lets just try and be friends for now.”

He kind of half smiled and said “I’ll take what I can get.”

He left about a half an hour later and I went to bed and slept like a rock.


Chapter 15: My Heart Belongs to You
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LAST TIME ON... my heart belonged to you

“Lily there was never a day you were off my mind.” He picked up my hand again. “Lily, can we please try it again?”

I took a deep breath “Not now…” his face fell a bit “Lets just try and be friends for now.”

He kind of half smiled and said “I’ll take what I can get.”

He left about a half an hour later and I went to bed and slept like a rock. to conclude our tale.........

Chapter 14
^My heart belongs to you.
*2 weeks later*

“Are you sure you want to do this…?” James called from below. We were in the middle of a training course. Dumbledore had decided that after what happened to me, we needed to be more prepared. We were now learning skills that muggles use. Like dodging curses physically like a muggle would avoid a bullet. Not just using our wands to create a shield. James, Sirius and I were working on an exercise where they had to lower me down a 15 foot cliff. Sirius was holding me by the arms from the top and it was James’ job to catch me.

“…we can try it another day if your not ready.”

“No I’m fine. I trust you.” I yelled down

“You trust me?” he asked shocked

“Ya I do…”

“I thought you said you could never trust me again?”

I thought about that for a moment. “Things change James.” I said innocently with my heart beating like crazy inside me. Over the past 2 weeks I’d fallen almost as deep in love with him as I had in 7th year. Only he didn’t know. Two weeks ago I thought I’d just try being friends with him, but the more time I spent with him, the more I fell for him. “…are you ready?” I yelled down.

“Ya.” He shouted

“Alright Sirius, let me go.” Sirius’s grip on my wrist loosened and I felt myself falling… then with a thud I landed into James arms.

He stared deep into my eyes, he hadn’t done this in almost four years. Without thinking I wrapped my arms around him and then I pulled him into a hug. A few seconds later he put his lips to mine and he kissed me. His kiss was just as soft and gentle as it had been all that time ago. It wasn’t the simple warm brush that I had gotten when Aaron kissed me. It lifted my insides up and sent chills through me. It was warm and gentle. It made me feel safe and secure. It was wonderful! I was in love, and I wasn’t afraid to admit it. So gently, I pulled away.

“Lily, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing James, nothing at all!”

He bent in again, but I moved away again.

“No, wait…” I told him

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No James you didn’t. I wanted to tell you…” I took a deep breath “…that I love you James, and I always will.” He paused for a moment. Then I got worried. I’d pushed him away all this time, had he changed his mind about me? Then finally he spoke.

“Lily, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that. I love you more than you could ever know. You’re all I’ve had on my mind since I was 11. You are the most precious thing in the world to me.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me again. I smiled inwardly. Deep down this is what I’ve been hoping and wishing for, for way to long. This is what my heart and my head want. This is love!

We stayed down there completely unaware of anything but each other. Then completely oblivious to the both of us Sirius yelled down. “Hey Prongs!” We both had forgotten he’d been up there. James pulled away from me and shouted up

“Uh Padfoot I’m kind of busy down here.”

“I know mate…” he replied “…I just thought you might want this.” He tossed a little brown box down the cliff side. I stared at it curiously, what could be so important that we needed to be interrupted? James opened it, and inside was my silver ring! I mentally took back every bad thing I ever thought or said about Sirius. Where the heck had that come from?

“Sirius, how the hell did you get this?” he yelled

“Simple, I never sold it! Prongs did you honestly think I’m stupid enough to follow orders that you truly didn’t want to give me?”

“But…” James began

“Plus it’s practically written in the stars.” He laughed “You two are meant for eachother.”

“What do you mean?” I asked him

“Don’t be naive Lily. Everyone knew it when you guys were at Hogwarts. Actually I think some even knew it before you. You’re roommates especially. They always were making a plan of some sort to pull you two together. You were just so stubborn…”

“Sirius, think back to 5th year can you really blame me?” That was another thing that had happened over the past two weeks. I’d developed a friendship with possibly my largest enemy from Hogwarts. Pigs were flying, Sirius and I were actually getting along.

“Thanks Padfoot.” Then James turned to me and took my hand “I love you.” He said as he slipped the ring back on my finger

“I love you too.” I told him

“My heart belongs to you. It’s yours for the keeping.” he whispered as he embraced me.

“My heart is yours.” I told him

“Lily will you marry me?”

I was stunned. We hadn’t even dated again… what was he thinking? “James isn’t this a bit fast?” I asked him

“No, it’s far over due. I should have asked you that four years ago. I love you Lily, and I swear I’ll never break your heart again. I promise. I’d rather die than do that to you again.”

I completely ignored that thought I’d just had and said “James, I would love to be your wife.” I looked down on the band on my finger. It was back where it belonged. He was right it was far over due. Heck even Sirius was right, it was written in the stars we were meant for eachother.


In the end I got exactly what I wanted. It just took a lot more work than I could have ever imagined. Love is not a game. Love is a deep and true feeling that needs to be able to survive mistakes, problems and heartaches. In the end if it’s true, love will always prevail. True love can outwit, outlast and out play anything, and if you can work through the problems and the heartaches love can bring you where you want to be. In my case, it took me to the alter and made me Mrs. James Potter. Out of pure and true love for each other our son Harry was born. Through love deeper than imaginable James gave his life for me, and finally for the undying love of my son I laid down my own life.


My heart, my heart belongs to you.
My soul, my soul belongs to you.
I could never leave you
You’re all that I need
My life belongs,
My soul belongs,
My heart Belongs, to you.

*~The End~*

*Authors note*
Well I hope you enjoyed the ending... I want to thank you all for the tons of support u gave me while writing this. I truely hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it. Anywho... I'm sad that this is the end. I hope you all check out *A Trick of Time* my newest story and its still in its prime.

you guys are the best