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Naked by BlackRain

Format: Short story
Chapters: 3
Word Count: 3,452
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Strong Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse

Genres: Drama, Romance
Characters: Sirius, James, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC

First Published: 02/21/2011
Last Chapter: 02/18/2012
Last Updated: 02/18/2012

Summary:
Banner by harrylilyjames@TDA. Third place winner of Houlestar's This is Not a Song-Fic Challenge.





Marlene and Sirius. Sirius and Marlene. The couple that keeps Hogwarts gossip mill going.


Chapter 1: Marlene.
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I own nothing.


 




 Amazing chapter image by BitterSweetFlames@TDA.


 
 

Marlene McKinnon. November 1, Seventh year, 1977.


 

“I want your love, and all your love is revenge” Lady Gaga- Bad Romance.


 

I just turned around the corner and ran. I heard that the prefect yelled for me to stop but I ignored it. The truth is I wanted to turn around and tell him to go to fucking hell. I wanted to hex him. I wanted to get my anger out. But I didn’t. I just ran. Ran to the Gryffindor common room. To my dorm.


 

Yes, baby. I don’t mind that I can spend only half an hour with you. I understand that if I stayed any longer there wouldn’t be enough room for all of your friends. Yes, how could James sit on the ground?


 

As I ran an owl appeared. His owl. It gave me a message and flew away.


 

Are you angry? it read. No. No, honey. I’m not angry. I’M FURIOUS.


 

I felt like trash. Like people can easily walk on me. Is he serious? Oh yes. I forgot. He is! But does he really think that I’ll write back? He really thinks I’m just another girl that blindly follows him around?


 

What did he tell me last night before the Halloween party? That I don’t spend enough time with him? That he wants to be with me all the time? Okay. I went out with him…And he made fool out of me!


 

Never again I’ll let someone hurt me.


 

I’ll always be true to myself. And only to myself.


 

I’ll be me, good or bad it doesn’t matter.


 

And if you will try to hurt me again I’ll rip you apart so fast, so fast that you won’t gonna have time to smirk.


 

I hate guys who think – a girl is another thing to their collection. Am I a prize, Sirius? Another doll to your doll house? Another plastic smile? But I do not smile when someone is hurting me.


 

And innocent flirtation never grows to love. Or so I thought.


 

I’m cynical because of you. Sarcasm - the common language that unites us, although in it you can’t speak freely about love. But nevertheless, it’s necessary to communicate effectively.


 

When you squash an orange, what happens? Something bad? No, smartass. The orange juice starts to run. Not mango, not apple juice, not milk. Only orange juice. Always. And people are like that. They can only give what they have in their heart. So if I receive pain from you, it means that you only have pain inside of you. You give the world only what you’ve got.


 

Why didn’t you tell your friends you want to be with me? Who is Peter? Yet another friend. Ha. Who is Mary to me? Yet another friend. She doesn’t care about what happened yesterday. She had her fun. She said few hours ago she’s bored, she said I should come and visit her. Yeah it’s good. You can stay while I’m bored. But when others will come, get out. Yeah, sure thing, Mary. Sure thing, Sirius.


 

Are these people who I call friends are mocking me? Sirius, I came out to play yesterday as you wanted me. I came to the dance. And what did you do? You let Dorcas spill her drink on me and then you just left. Off to help James. Off to help Remus. Sirius, you never help me.


 

I'm not ‘stuck up’ as others may think. I just know how much I am worth. I walk with my head raised high because my mother taught me to. Many people are afraid of me. Because they know I can destroy them. Strangers are not my role models. People are things that help you achieve what you want. Therefore they think I’m a cold hearted bitch. Let them think like that. It’s easier for me, less idiots in the way and they think they know everything about me. That will keep them talking. Talking nonsense.


 

I can’t be myself around these people.Each day brings only pain, everyday is a murderer. I’m drowning in the daily life.


 

I’m fed up to see the same faces everywhere and always. Fed up with people who don’t know me and dare to judge me. We love to talk about how other people mess up, but we forget that we make mistakes too. I’m tired of thinking what others will think. I’m fed up with my efforts to control my actions or to act because it is - so fashionable, so sexy, so feminine.


 

I do not want to live under some stupid stereotypes.

I do not want to write to him just because, according to the stupid rules of morality, a guy should write first.

I want to laugh out loud and I’m not care that it’s childish and unethical.


 

I want to cry when I am sad, despite the fact that I’ll appear to be weak. I am weak. My black eye pencil, mascara, lipstick. This only means a new face. My expensive clothes are only a fashionable packing. Why is it that nobody looks inside of me? He doesn’t. Why do you understand me only when I speak "your language"?
 

I do not want to spend a lifetime opportunity. I want to run far, far away from you.

I do not want to think: what would have been if I would have acted differently?

I want to take everything what life can offer.


 

Yes, sometimes I'm angry, love to argue, air headed, always forgetting something.

Yes, sometimes I am arrogant, emphatic, stuck up. Overall, quarrelsome and an egoist who always needs attention. Girls love to complain just because they are girls. Girls don’t really want to hear practical advice or guidance on what to do next. They just want attention and sympathy. A lot of sympathy and attention.


 

Yes, I'm not perfect. And imagine! I don’t even want to be perfect! Really. I’m already tired of searching for something what I’ll never find. But Sirius, you want to be perfect.


 

You don’t believe me. You don’t believe that I can live without you.

I can. I don’t need you. I know what I can, what I will do.


 

I am strong. Maybe. What does not kill me - makes stronger. I’m no longer able to understand which thoughts are mine and which thoughts are famous people thoughts…


 

Roosevelt "Do what you can, with what you’ve got, wherever you are."

But you weren’t a saint, mate. Admit it. Fine, I will invent something new.


 

If my brain is missing few brain cells that doesn’t mean I have to act like that. You see, I firmly believe that the only way to get yourself out of this unpleasant situation is to take a deep breath, be honest to yourself and boldly face the problem, looking at it straight in the eye until it knows who is the boss here. You need to swallow it, like a pill.


 

If anyone would have asked me how to deal if their problem I would have said that. And someday maybe even I will use my advice.

Now you, Sirius are my problem. Cardiac pain. You are my enemies and enemies suffer loudly.


 

You know, dear ... No, you don’t know anything.


 

If this ain’t love then how do we get out?


 

Sirius, this is my love.
 

It is painful? - It is painful.

True? - It's true

But I need to play a role of a Goddess not for my demons, but for you. Because I love you angry and cynical, most of the time I hate-love you.

Now I don’t understand anything. I’m a masochist.


 

Life is a dirty scene.

I am an actress.

Everything is a farce. Sweet meaningless farce.


 

I love you.




Hey! Thanks for reading.  Hope you liked it. Tell me what you think. The song I got as you already know is Bad Romance by Lady Gaga.  The story is going to be 3 chapters long. The first one is like an introduction. I hope you liked Marlene. It was fun to writer her. I always imagined Marlene with long chocolate brown curly hair, but it seems she had blonde curly hair :).

-Vi.
 


Chapter 2: Sirius
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I own nothing.


 



 



Chapter image by kaileena_sands @tda.


Sirius Black. December 15, Seventh Year, 1977.

“Cause I’m a freak, baby” Lady Gaga- Bad Romance.


 




 

God dammit! What the hell is wrong with her?!


 

Another book to the wall. That’s not enough.


 

I lunched my fist to the window. There was a crash - the sound of shattering - and sudden spray of broken glass like shower of jagged starts. Then the pain came. I looked down at my left hand, the knuckles streaked with scarlet, with a clinical interest as fat red drops of blood collected and splattered down onto the floor at my feet.


 

One minute it’s perfect and another she has to ruin everything.


 

The blood dripped on the carpet. My teeth clicked together hard, and I tasted blood in my mouth. I stepped away from the window. I sank down onto my bed and put my head in my hands.


 

I don’t say I’m perfect. I’m as flawed, as pitiful and weak as she is. Sometimes more, sometimes less.


 

Through the broken window the room was cold. Blasts of cold air cut through my clothes like a knife. I was shivering.


 

I don’t understand her, hell I bet she doesn’t understand herself too. Marlene McKinnon, one of a kind, they say. Yes, she’s the only one like that. One second she’s and angel, another she’s a monster.


 

And it’s always my fault. She doesn’t care about others. From the outside I look calm, happy, but inside I’m an ugly wound. Inside I’m vibrating like a perfectly balanced running mechanism. One careless move and I will scatter into little pieces.


 

I flirted with few girls, so what? They were not worth my attention anyway. I wanted to help Remus, I skipped few dates. For that she was furious, melodramatic. She made a fool out of mein the Great Hall, spread lies.


 

A few days after that incident, I lived in suffering and in uncertainty. I am the golden boy, things like that didn’t happen to me. But if things like that happened, I shouldn’t care.


 

Then why the hell I cared?!


 

Some people, life just isn’t good for. 


 

People like me.


 

My life was great, before she showed up.


 

She is full of venom. She’s a snake. She said ‘Snakes are worshiped in China.’ She’s proud.


 

She does everything to ruin my life. Why? She says she loves. No one could tell me how to deal with her. I know, it’s my own fault, I was the one who fell in love with her.


 

Hell! I’m the original Teflon! No matter how silly I acted, I never looked stupid. No one could tease   me. James is the spec of irritation, but even he never could make me look stupid. He only used to make himself the fool. But now everything is turned upside down. I look pathetic. Previously, I acted pathetic, but looked cool, now I suddenly became a total arse.


 

Was I a bad boyfriend?


 

No. I always tried. I did. But Marlene always wants everything to be perfect. Or she used to. Now she doesn’t even care.


 

Anger. Tears. Hands in the air. Sadness. Despair. That lasted for a week. Then she just forgot everything. She forgot she was angry.


 

I can’t believe it. I can’t just drop it like she did.


 

“Bloody Merlin’s cow! What happened here?!” I turned around and faced my best friend, James Potter. Yes, I would be surprised too. Everything was a mess and winters cold was entering the room from the broken window. I was bleeding.


 

“It’s because of Marlene, isn’t it?” He asked. I nodded.


 

I don’t get her. James doesn’t get her…


 

Marlene’s problem: she always has to be right. If you don’t agree with her she gets offended. She starts her never ending monologues and in the end I say “Okay. Okay, okay, you are right. I was wrong. I don’t care, I’ll do it.” Is it wrong to make mistakes, to be wrong?


 

When you see her you think that her future is planned perfectly. Well, Mary says it was before I entered Marlene’s life.


 

I wish I was a better person. I was she was a better person. She makes me feel guilty. I make her feel like trash.


 

Our souls are naked. I’m a bastard. She is nothing.


 

I always needed a greater close than before. Our fights got longer, more dramatic. She cursed me violently and I reiterated.


 

The worst thing was that I started to feel a nobody. One of those teenagers with no confidence, who spend their time alone. It was scary.


 

It’s all her fault. She sprayed lies about me.


 

Some may call it revenge, some called it manipulation, but it was fun for her. To make me miserable.


 

I couldn’t tolerate such humiliation. In time I started to wake up. She didn’t want me. And she was not the only one. The whole Hogwarts was against me. All the charm disappeared. It was like I became blind. It seemed that even total strangers knew that I’m a scum. Girls showed no interest in me. I got used to all people smiling at me, joking with me and chatting that I had to understand something bad happened.


 

Now, I was served without a smiled and the shop-assistant moved to another client like I was nobody.


 

In other words, it all was crap. But my heart hurt not because of one thing, and from all troubles I was in the most hurtful was not the way people acted, but how Marlene did.


 

Yes, I did few bad things. And she made me feel it, oh she made me feel it. Hogwarts has the best gossip mill, and Marlene knew how to use it. All my bad deeds were brought to the daylight. Everyone believed all the things she said about me even if they weren’t truth.


 

And in the end I want her to love me.


 

The door burst open. Mary and Remus entered.


 

“Mate,” Remus started like someone died, “She’s again having her monolog about how she’s fed up with everything. I think she got bored with all her games.” And I ran. Ran to her.


 

“Marls,” I found her in the empty common room, sitting on the ground.


 

“We are bloody perfect for each other.” She hissed. It wasn’t something nice to hear. It was just the truth.


 

We all have masks. Billions of them. Probably one for every person in our life, for every situation. Marlene, the girl who always wanted to be perfect, finally understood the price of perfection. Perfect means to have masks. She had so many of them that she got lost.


 

“I don’t want this.” She cried in my arms. I was never romantic. I never sent her notes. I was the guy everyone wanted to be, because they didn’t see the inside of my twisted and frankly idiotic mind. But she saw me.


 

“Sirius,” She stared, “I’m sorry.” She cried.


 

She grabbed my face with both hands and pulled my head down to hers. She was still for the barest moment when my lips touched hers. Her skin was cold, lips wet and salty from crying.


 

It was truth.


 

It was misery.


 

It was perfect.


 




I hope it's not confusing.  This story is a little bit abstract. What do you think about this chapter? :)

-Vi.
 


Chapter 3: James and Mary.
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So this is the last chapter. Please let me know what you think~.

 

-Vi.

 




Image by GinnyPotter25 at TDA.

 

 

James Potter. December 15, Seventh year, 1977.

 

“I want it bad, bad romance” Lady Gaga- Bad Romance.

 



 

Talk about bad relationship. Sirius and Marlene. Marlene and Sirius.

Sirius has a huge apatite for trouble. He loves it, he’s alive because of it.

 

But Marlene’s just too much.

 

One moment their happy and the next Marlene starts her monologue about how everything sucks, about how she needs more.

 

But now, right now, they are snogging in the common room. Few moments ago Marlene had all Hogwarts hating Sirius, but now she’s melting in his arms. This should be R rated.

 

I glanced at Mary, Marlene’s best friend. She shook her head. She doesn’t agree with their relationship. And I agree with Mary. They are no good for each other.

 

For a month I was looking for a way to help my mate. He said he needs no help, just Marlene. They both said that “Love is like lightning, you get struck once and baby it kills you”.

 

This is shameful. I don’t want to tell it, but it’s true. It was Peter’s birthday and I was in Honeydukes, in the section where you can buy cards. There you could also buy funny mugs, gifts. There were signs hung on the wall. Like “You don’t have to be a madman to work here, but it helps”. Or “Just because you’re paranoid that doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you”. Nonsense, but sometimes there are good ones. And why not? I don’t think it’s more expansive to print truth than nonsense.

 

In short, I saw this “Love is not obsession. It’s determination.” And will you say? I stood there shocked. I stood and watched. It was perfect for Sirius. He CAN decide not to love her! I bought him that sign...And got punched in the face…

 

I stopped trying.

 



 

Mary McDonald. December 15, Seventh year, 1977.

“I want your drama, the touch of your hand.” Lady Gaga- Bad Romance.

 



 

Uh. They are at it again. Snogging. And after that there will be louds of tears. Want to know why are they back together again?

 

Siren boy. That’s what he is.

 

At first Marlene didn’t notice it. For several weeks her support was as strong as a rock. Sirius is a bastard, a prick and a hypocrite, she is innocent. This was obvious. However, the winds started to change. Of course, Sirius sometimes was a prick, but it’s all a lie. We must be compassionate. It’s not his fault. Marlene is a liar.

 

No one told that to Marlene, but she started to notice that her statements about his guilt, betrayal, had lost its decent support.

 

“Act like you’re angry,” I told her in the ear this morning, when we saw him smiling hopefully. Marlene stopped and gave him a look that would melt a rock and turned her back to him. Therefore, only I saw his reaction. What I saw in his face was not anger, arrogance. Something happened. His eyes turned red, he started biting his lip. I saw a wounded heart. He was suffering. After all, I and James agreed to keep them apart for their own good.

 

I instinctively stood between Sirius face and my friend, as if in order to protect her from the song of pain.

 

How come I didn’t understand this sooner? He was vulnerable. Just like Marlene and I really like Marlene, I thought as I dragged her away from that evil boy. For few weeks Sirius was suffering and he looked terrible. What has changed? Ha. People like season have the ability to change.

 

I walked while I was peeking over my shoulder to see if the tears were running. I bumped into Marlene.

“What are you doing?” She was angry.

 

“I was looking if that bastard wasn’t following us.” I said quickly. She was suspicious. I tried to drag her away but it was too late. She was him.

 

“What does that mean?” She asked strictly when we were alone.

 

“Nothing. An act.”

 

“He was crying!” She said surprised, shocked.

 

“You saw it?”

 

“He was crying for me…” she said, longing for him.

 

“Stop it! He’s not worth it.” But she was sure he loved her. All her instincts told her to hug him, kiss him.

 

I was annoyed, but not surprised. Everything seemed so futile. Marlene wasn’t even suffering. I myself was suffering much more, few time in a year, when I had to dump one of my boys with no rational reason, most of the time just because I was bored. My heart shattered into little pieces every time. And it was even worse if I was the one who got dumped. Yes, sometimes I was dumped.

 

However, such a maniacal interest in one who is no good for you, and in my opinion, Marlene doesn’t even love, is sick. After all, we all just want to play. Right?

 

I don’t understand her. I don’t understand him…But they are happy… for now.


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