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Love Goddesses, Overprotective Brothers, and James Potter by dobbyismyhero22

Format: Novel
Chapters: 11
Word Count: 44,235
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Albus, James (II), Rose, OC
Pairings: James/OC, Rose/Scorpius, Other Pairing

First Published: 09/04/2010
Last Chapter: 09/01/2011
Last Updated: 09/01/2011

Summary:
absolutely incredible banner by justonemorefic at TDA



Aphrodite Price is the name, don't wear it out. Yes, it's a weird name. Yes, I have an older brother, Apollo. No, you may not have his number. Yes, I am in love with James Sirius Potter. Any more questions?


Chapter 1: Introductions, Ninja Rolls, and Albert
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A/N: Hello:) So I randomly decided to write a new story, like two days ago. I think it’s pretty different from my other stories; I really like it though, and I hope you all like it too! Please, please review and let me know what you think!

 
 

Incredible chapter image by dream_BIG at TDA


            All right. So here's how this works. I'm Aphrodite. You are you. You stay out of my way, and I stay out of your way. Got a problem? Go die in a hole.



        Okay I'm sorry. I'm trying to act tough, but I'm obviously failing. Truth is that I'm complete shit at introductions/first impressions/any other form of meeting new people. In fact, most people are rather scared of me when we first meet, but then they find out that I am actually quite lovable.



       So now that I've warmed up to you a bit I think it's time we get to know each other. Let's start with me, yeah? Good, because I wasn't really giving you a choice. Like I said, I'm Aphrodite. Aphrodite Price to be exact. Yes, I know I have a weird name. My mother is like obsessed with Greek gods and goddesses, and she decided to take her obsession out on her unfortunate children.



       I have an older brother, Apollo, named after the god of music, healing, prophecies, and poetry. I have a little sister, Athena, named after the goddess of wisdom, warfare, strategy, and reason. And I have a little brother, Poseidon, named after the god of the seas, rivers, floods, and droughts.



       My namesake is the goddess of love, lust, beauty, seduction, and pleasure. A lot to live up to, huh? Yeah, I think my mum was expecting some gorgeous first daughter with long flowing blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and someone that could actually walk in a straight line without falling over, but she's shit out of luck because she got me.



       Don't get me wrong, I'm not ugly, well, at least I hope I'm not ugly, I'm just not drop dead gorgeous like Aphrodite apparently was. I have mid-length dark brown hair that is always curly no matter how many straightening spells and potions I use on it, and hazel eyes. I've been described as having a "hot" body according to my best friend, Dominique Weasley's sources. What does "hot" even mean?! Hot is a flipping temperature! But really, who am I to argue with my adoring fans? *Pose for a million and three flashing cameras.* Yeah, just kidding. I honestly have no idea who Dom's "sources" are. For all I know it could just be Roger Mclaggen, AKA the creepiest sixth year ever.



       I'm also a sixth year, a Gryff all the way! Athena's in Ravenclaw, ironic I know, right? She's a fourth year. Poseidon, we call him Donny, is in Hufflepuff, and he's just an ickle little second year! Apollo's a Gryffindor like me, but a year ahead.



       I wouldn't really call being Apollo's little sister annoying...Okay so it is incredibly annoying. The girls in my dorm often describe Apollo as super mega foxy awesome hot. I mean, ew? That's my brother! I do not need to hear about how good of a shag he is or any of that disgusting information.



       He and I both play on the Gryffindor quidditch team, by the way. He's a Chaser, and I am a seeker. I'm probably the clumsiest person you will ever meet, but I can do some wicked awesome things on a broomstick.

      

       Anyway, back to Apollo and his annoyingness as a brother. He's probably my best friend, after Dom of course, and definitely my favorite sibling, because Athena and Donny could be right pains in the arses, but he tends to be a bit overprotective.



       He caught me snogging a Slytherin, in my defense he didn't tell me what house he was in, last year and the poor guy was in the hospital wing for a week. Apollo would be just as protective over Athena, but the nerd doesn't look up long enough from her books to even know what a guy looks like. Besides, he just likes me best. I mean, how could he not? Haha just kidding, but not really.



       I feel like I'm rambling a bit. Am I? Oh I am. Shit. Well fuck you. I quite enjoy rambling so get over it or I'll punch your face in. Just kidding. Well, maybe. Mwahahaha! Jealous of my evil laugh? I thought so.



       Anyway, back to Apollo once again. He is part of a group. A group that is known all over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry as The Charming Chasers. Stupid name, I know, right? Moronic slag fan girls came up with it. Pathetic if you ask me. Oh you didn't ask? Well, screw you. Any who, The Charming Chasers are comprised of the three Gryffindor Chasers. Duh. That one wasn't too hard to figure out unless you are a complete dipshit.



       I don't really think "charming" is a good word to describe them though. More like Man Whore Slag Player Chasers. Yeah that would be more accurate. So now they shall forever be known as the Man Whore Slag Player Chasers! Well, in my brilliant mind only, of course, MWSPC for short. The members of MWSPC are my brother, Apollo Price, I don't know where I went wrong with him, Shane Wood, and James Potter.



       They are all equally attractive. My brother has tousled dark brown hair and our mother's turquoisey-blue eyes. Shane had blonde hair and breathtaking green eyes. And then there was James with his sexy, messy black hair, incredible blue-green eyes, and dazzling white smile.



       Okay so I might have the teensiest crush on one of my brother’s best friends. Don't give me that look! It's nothing major! I can handle it. Stop looking at me like that! Okay! Okay! Fine! I admit it! I am totally in love with him. I have been since first year.



       I know what you're thinking, "Didn't she say that she snogged a Slytherin? What a slag!" Well, first of all screw you. I know I've been saying that a lot, but you deserve it. And no I am not a slag. It isn't my fault that James sees me as no more than his best friend's little sister and that I wanted a guy to occupy my time. I would never actually consider dating... Ben? No, Evan? No! It was Sam! Oh no that wasn't Sam. Well, whatever his name was, I never actually considered dating him. And so what if I can't remember his name! I am still not a slag! I still hold my V-Card. All I did was snog him and I was about to stop because he was getting a little bit to handsy. Maybe that's why Apollo, James, and Shane beat him so hard. Hmm. Either way I'd never date what's-his-face.



       I just happen to like the occasional snog in a nice empty broom closet. Definitely not a slag. Yeah so I'm a bit repetitive. You didn't have to agree to that. Screw you. Told you I'm repetitive.



       You know what I said earlier about how some people are afraid of me when they first meet me, and that I'm shit at introductions? Yeah, well, the first time I met James I might have accidentally bit his ankle. Well, can you blame me!? I wasn't even a firstie yet, and I thought he was trying to rape me! What would you have done? Actually, don't answer that because I could give two shits about your opinion. Did I mention that I am very blunt? My parents find it to be a rather endearing quality. They are sarcastic ones, my parents.



       Okay, back to James. I think he was slightly terrified. Apollo just laughed and pulled me off of him. I remember him whispering to me, "Don't worry he won't rape you." Apollo knew me so well. I went through an afraid to be raped stage. I blame too much muggle daytime television.



       I remember that once I fell in love with him half way through my first year, I couldn't act normally around him. Apollo, thankfully, remained oblivious. He thought that I was just going through some weird phase where I rolled around on the ground nonstop. Truth is, I thought that I was being seductive. Oh silly, naive, little me.



       I can actually be in the same room with James now and not make a complete fool of myself. I can even catch myself staring at him and look away. Impressive, I know. If Apollo ever found out that I was in love with James, well, let me just say that it would not be a pretty sight. So you see my predicament? No? How could you not see my problem!? It's right there! Open your stupid eyes and read! Merlin, I'm talking to gits here. No offense.



       Let me try and sum it up for you. I am in love with my extremely overprotective older brother's best friend. See it now? No?! Fucking tosser. Just go away. No wait come back! I'm sorry, okay?! Awh there you go. I knew you couldn't resist my charm. I wasn't named Aphrodite for nothing! You're fun. Can we be friends? Awesome! I'm going to call you Albert. You don't hear that name ever day, so you should feel special.



       Okay Albert, so I should probably tell you where we are right now. Well, we are on summer holiday, school starts in three days, and we are in a lovely little place I call home sitting in my bedroom. I love my bedroom. The walls are a violent shade of orange, with splatters of pink, neon green, purple, and yellow paint all over them. They are also covered with posters of my favorite quidditch team, the Holyhead Harpies, and all of my favorite bands. My bedspread is purple with orange and yellow swirls. My desk, dresser, and nightstand are all covered with picture frames of my family and friends. My favorite is the picture of me in the middle of Apollo and James with their arms around my waist. As soon as the picture was taken Apollo told James, and I quote, "Get your sodding hands off my baby sister." Yeah dream shot down.



       "APHRODITE!" Athena screamed. I giggled. So I may have accidentally replaced all of her books with cheese and all of her quills with Redvines and Twizzlers. Yeah I don't really know how my mind works either. I stumbled out of bed laughing madly, but I tripped over my cauldron and my head bashed into the corner of my desk.



       "BUGGER!" I yelled in pain. Karma is an evil bitch. Albert stop laughing! I fell to the floor holding my hand against my head, and I felt blood gush out of forehead.



       "Ro?" I heard Apollo's voice and footsteps nearing my room. I groaned in response.



       "Albert stop bloody laughing!" I yelled.



       "Who the fuck is Albert?" Shane questioned.



       "No clue. I think she's delusional." Apollo answered leaning down beside me.



       "Bloody hell, Biter! What did you do?" I heard James chuckle. Yeah he calls me Biter. Stupid first impressions.



       "ALBERT WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!?" I screamed. You're getting bleeding annoying. Oh piss off!



       James and Shane looked worried, but Apollo, who was more used to my abnormal ways, looked amused. "Ro, who's Albert?" He asked me raising his eyebrows as he picked me up and set me on my bed.              



       "Bloody annoying tosser, that's who." I growled. Apollo chuckled.



       "Will one of you guys find me a washcloth?" He said to James and Shane while examining my gash.



       "Get Donny to do it! He'll be able to FIND it! Cause he's in Hufflepuff! Do you get it Albert?" I giggled. "No? Merlin, you are so stupid. You don't understand any of my jokes." I sniffled.  Now even Apollo was staring at me weirdly. "No Albert! I'm sorry I called you stupid! Please don't leave me! I loovvveeeee youuuuu!" I pleaded. Okay maybe I am slightly delusional. "I knew you couldn't leave me. Aphrodite charm." I giggled even louder. I love you Albert!



       "What in the hell is wrong with you, Biter?" James asked me looking generally scared.



       I grinned. "I have no bloody idea. Oi! Someone want to go fetch that washcloth? I'm getting red shit on my swirly pillow!" I said while looking at my bloodstained fingers. I think one of my many talents is being able to have a very fast transition between normalness and weirdness.



       "I guess, er, I'll, erm, get it." Apollo said warily, and walked out of the room. James and Shane were standing above me glancing anxiously at each other. I think they were afraid I was going to start talking to you again, Albert. See what you've caused! It's okay though. I forgive you.



       "So, when did you blokes get here?" I asked them as I poked at a loose thread on my duvet cover. This wasn't the first time I had seen them this summer. Ever since Apollo and his friends got their apparition licenses, I saw them almost every week. When Apollo felt like it, he would take me sidelong to Dom's and drop me off, so I got to see a lot of her this summer, too.



       "Um, like maybe twenty minutes ago." James answered ruffling his hair. I noticed last year that he only does that when he's nervous. I think it's so adorable when he does that. Don't you think, Albert? Oh yeah I guess you wouldn't think that was cute. Well, unless you're gay, which I'm totally cool with. Oh you have a girlfriend!? That's nice! What's her name? Can I meet her? I'm offended Albert! I am quite normal when I want to be and it's not like strangeness is a contagious disease. Yeah, well screw you. I don't even want to meet her anymore. I'm shunning you starting now. "Um what are you doing?" James asked me worriedly.



       "Huh?" I said my brows furrowed in confusion. I didn't think I was doing anything. It was probably prat faced Albert.



 

       "You were sticking your tongue out at the ceiling saying something about a girlfriend and diseases." Shane told me his eyes wide in fright. I was scaring two seventh year boy quidditch players. I grinned wickedly and laughed. "Are you sure you're okay?" He asked me looking genuinely scared.



 

       "I think she hit her head a bit too hard." Apollo said returning into my room holding a damp washcloth. I laughed even harder.



     

   "Yeah what he said." I giggled as he put the washcloth on my forehead. "Tell Thena to give me some of her book cheese and Redvine quills!" I squealed rubbing my stomach. Stupid Albert, making me forget about breakfast. Yeah, I'm still shunning you Albert! Piss off!



 

       Shane and James glanced at each other in confusion, but Apollo's face broke into a huge grin. "So you pulled it off?" He said excited while performing a healing charm to my forehead. I touched it and the bleeding had stopped. He wasn't named after the god of healing for nothing!



 

       "Yeah! Well, at least I hope so. I heard her bitching about something earlier." I laughed while sitting up.



 

       "Wait, what prank did you pull on Athena this time?" Shane asked chuckling and James was smirking. Playing pranks on Athena was always a good time at the Price house. I'm usually the mastermind behind them all, though the MWSPC play some decent pranks too. I recently got my O.W.L scores back and I got O's in Transfiguration, Potions, and Charms thanks to my extra studying to try and figure out how to pull some amazing pranks last year. I got an E in Defense Against the Dark Arts, an E in Herbology, an E in Care of Magical Creatures, an A in Astronomy, and a D in History of Magic and Divination, just in case you were wondering what my other grades were. Oh you weren't wondering? Well, nobody asked you Albert! Piss off.



 

       "I transfigured all of her books to cheese and all of her quills to Redvines and Twizzlers." I said while grinning evilly.



 

       "Why do your pranks always involve food, Biter?" James asked me laughing.





 

       "Food is delicious! And I am usually hungry when I plan them." I answered simply, and my stomach growled. Shut your face Albert! My tummy does not sound like a dinosaur! It's you're fault I forgot about breakfast in the first place! My stomach growled again. "Bloody dinosaur." I muttered standing up, and I stumbled into James. Sometimes I love my clumsiness.





 

       "Careful there, Biter." James laughed. My hands were on his chest, and he had his on my shoulders. Ah bliss. He steadied me and let me go.





 

       I mumbled a thanks, and skipped out of my room with the MWSPC following behind me, chuckling. I think the find me as a pretty amusing source of entertainment. I walked down a flight of stairs, and when I was a few feet away from Athena's room I stopped. I turned around to the boys, put my finger to my lips as a signal for them to be quiet, and tiptoed by Athena's room and peaked in. It was empty.



 

       Her room was the complete opposite of mine. It was always neat and organized. Things were very rarely out of place and if they were out of place it was usually my fault. The walls were plain, boring, and white. Her furniture was made out of maple wood, and her bedspread was midnight blue with the Ravenclaw emblem sewn on. She had three bookshelves. Yes, three. They are usually full of books alphabetically organized, but now they were filled with cheese.



 

       I did a kick arse ninja roll into the room, and then did a secret agent crawl to the first bookshelf. Yes, Albert it is necessary to do ninja rolls and secret agent crawls. I grabbed a block of cheese, and then did a second ninja roll to her desk and nicked a few Redvines from her quill cup. I army crawled out, looking at the carpet, when I stopped at a pair of feet with yellow polka dot socks on. My eyes widened as I looked up to see my sister seething above me. "'Lo Thenie!" I chirped acting as if nothing happened, and continued crawling around her.





 

       "APHRODITE! CHANGE MY BOOKS AND QUILLS BACK RIGHT NOW!" She screeched at the top of her lungs. I got up off the floor protecting my ears from her shrieking.





 

       "Sorry Thenie. No can do!" I shrugged nonchalantly as I took a bite of a Redvine. "Didn't read that far in the book yet. Besides your quills are so delicious now!" I giggled as I munched on the Redvine. Oh I am so evil, aren't I Albert? Yes, I am done shunning you now. I don't think I've ever seen Athena this mad. Nobody messed with her books. She lunged at me with her nails out and ready to dig into my skin. "Oh shit." I squeaked and dove behind a laughing Apollo, James, and Shane. I would've ran away, but I probably would've tripped and fallen over something. Athena terrifies me when she's angry enough to fight without a wand. After all, she is named after the goddess of battle.





 

       Apollo flicked his wand, and the half eaten Redvine in my hand turned into half of a quill. Damn it. There goes my snack. I huffed in disapproval and threw it to the floor. "There Athena. Your books are back to normal, now leave Ro alone." Apollo told my sister, holding her back easily from attacking me while I hid behind James and Shane.





 

       Athena growled in annoyance, and slammed her door shut. "I risk my life by going in there, and trying to get some Twizzlers, Redvines, and cheese for us to share, and you prats couldn't even give me some warning!?" I said exasperated. Merlin, Albert, why are the MWSPC such berks?





 

       "We didn't want to interrupt your mission." Shane chuckled. Apollo imitated my ninja roll. Mine was way better. He lacked the coolness factor that I had. James laughed.





 

       "Oh sod off." I tried to sound pissed, but I ended up just giggling. "You're just jealous of my ninja rolls, and secret agent crawls." I stuck my tongue out at them.  Classy, I know.      

 





       Apollo grinned and swung his arm around my shoulder. “Are you up for a game of quidditch?” He asked eagerly.

 

       I grimaced. “Two-a-side is so boring.” I complained. I love quidditch, but it’s honestly no fun with three Chasers and only one Seeker. And Seeker is the only position I can even attempt to play. Let me tell you a thrilling tale of the other positions they tried me out on.

 

Keeper: I got hit in the face four times with that blasted quaffle, let in twelve goals in the time span of two and a half minutes, and nearly killed Shane.

 

Chaser: I broke James’ elbow trying to toss him the quaffle, when I tried throwing the quaffle into the hoop I missed by at least fifty feet, and I nearly killed Apollo.

 

Beater: I hit myself in the head, shoulder, and various other places with the bat at least seventeen times, I single handedly was responsible for five broken noses, three black eyes, and nine missing teeth, and I nearly killed everyone.

 

       Notice that every position ended with me almost killing someone. They now know to let me stick to being a Seeker and fly around the pitch minding my own business and hopefully staying out of everyone’s way.

 

       “It won’t be two-a-side.” Apollo grinned, and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Go get changed, we’re going over to the Potter’s.” 

 

A/N: So if you don't understand some parts in here than I suggest you watch AVPM/AVPS. I make a lot of references to that! Redvines and Twizzlers, by the way, are types of licorice, in case you didn't know that! I really really hope you liked this story because I had a lot of fun writing it! Please review:)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and that includes AVPM/AVPS 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Chapter 2: Letters, Nicknames, and Perverts
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A/N: Hellerrr:) So thank you for all of the totally awesome reviews for the last chapter. I was blown away. Literally. Well, not literally, but highly figuratively if that’s even possible… Well, either way, thank youuu!!!


 

Chapter image by dream_BIG at TDA! (:

Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize. 

 

       YES! Albert, we’re going to the Potter’s! Aren’t you excited!? No? Hrmp. Well, let me explain to you why going over to the Potter’s is an amazing thing.

 

1: It’s the house of the freaking savior of the wizarding world! Isn’t that reason enough?!

 

2: Whenever the Potter’s have a quidditch game almost all of the cousins come. And I mean all, so I get to see Dom! You’re going to love her Albert! Dommy is pretty much the most gorgeous person you will ever meet. She is exactly what my mum was expecting when she named her daughter Aphrodite. Dom has long, wavy blonde hair, ice blue eyes, and is just all around beautiful. Boys fall at her feet. She also just has the coolest personality you can ever imagine. Honestly, you’d expect someone like her, whose 1/8 veela, to be a total snob and a bitch, but she is definitely not. And she’s single. *Wink. Wink.* Just kidding Albert, she probably wouldn’t like you. No offense. Besides, you have a girlfriend that I am apparently not allowed to me because I’m ‘abnormal’. Yeah fuck you.

 

3: I get to see Rose. She is probably like my third best friend after Dom and Apollo. Rose is flipping amazing. She’s like a total genius and she always helps me with my homework. (She does hers and then I copy). She’s also a prefect, but she lets Apollo, James, Shane, and me get away with everything. Rosie is also incredibly pretty. She inherited both her mum and dad’s hair colors, so it made a nice, pretty auburn, and she has ocean blue eyes. Her sarcasm is what makes her one of my closest friends though. She’s single also, except Scorpius Malfoy, a bloody annoying Slytherin, has been trying to get her to go out with him for years. Her reply is always a no.

 

4: I get to see Albus! Al is James’ little brother and he is in Gryffindor, too. We’re in the same year, and he’s like the most laid back guy in the world. Like seriously, Voldemort could rise from the dead and announce that he was going to slaughter everyone and tap dance over their bodies and Al would probably go do some meditation, or some crazy shit like that. (He doesn’t meditate, but honestly you would think he does.) Al and James look almost exactly alike, except the eyes and Al has glasses. Plus, I see Al as a brother and I see James as a sex god.

 

5: It’s quidditch! Everybody loves it! Wow, you would not like quidditch, Albert. That’s so like you to hate the most awesome sport in the world. I’m considering shunning you again, but I guess I won’t. It’s too lonely without you. Sigh.

 

       “Score! I’ll be back in a sec!” I squealed and started running up the stairs. I tripped on the like the fourth step. Bloody feet always fucking me over. I heard Apollo, James, and Shane laughing as I continued to charge up the staircase in excitement.

 

       I hastily tore off my oversized tee shirt and long pajama bottoms. I basically lived in these things during the summer. Shut up Albert! You’re just jealous that you can’t pull off the slacker look like I can. Okay so maybe I can’t pull it off either. But whatevs, it’s comfortable.

 

I grabbed a purple tank top out of my closet and pulled on a pair of short, soft black athletic shorts. I took a shower last night so my hair was clean, but it was all over the place. Don’t even comment Albert. I do not need to hear your unnecessary insults. I ruffled it up a bit so it actually looked good, and not like a cat had been clawing at it. I put on a pair of flip-flops, grabbed my Firebolt 4.0, and charged down the steps.

 

“Ready!” I chirped and grabbed Apollo’s arm for side along apparition.

 

He ripped his arm away from my grasp. “You are definitely not ready. Go change.” He growled.

 

“What are you talking about? I did change.” I said confused by his sudden harshness. I glanced down at my outfit, which was perfect for a game of quidditch.

 

“You’re dressed like a bloody whore, Aphrodite!” He snapped. Whoa man. It took a lot for Apollo to use my real name. He always called me Ro.

 

“It’s shorts and a tank top, Apollo. I’m not wearing fishnet stockings and a push up bra.” I said rolling my eyes. Blokes were so stupid. No offense, Albert. 

 

“Go. Change.” He commanded seriously. I looked from him, to James, to Shane. Shane was staring at my legs, James was staring at my chest, and Apollo was glaring at my face. Freaks.

 

I glanced down at my outfit again. It looks as if I finally grew into my body. My legs looked really long, especially in these short shorts. It also looked as if I had finally gotten boobs, (SCORE!) and I was showing a lot of cleavage. How the hell did I not notice this before!? Damn over sized tee shirts. Well, if it gets James Sirius Potter looking at me then I like it. He was still staring at my chest. Thank Merlin, Apollo didn’t see. That’s right James; you know you want me. Hehe.

 

“I’m not changing, Apollo.” I told him and put my hands on my hips. I feel like when I put my hands on my hips it makes it seem like I mean business, or it makes me seem like a whiny five year old. Either way I am not changing.

 

“Go put on a sweatshirt or I’m not taking you.” He said sternly. James was still staring at my chest.

 

“It’s hot as hell out there!” I whined stomping my foot. Apollo opened his mouth to retort, but Shane interrupted.

 

“Apollo, we’re going to be late for the game if we don’t leave now.” He said and kicked James discreetly. James’ face turned bright red. He looked away and mouthed thanks to Shane.

 

“Fine. Let’s go.” Apollo growled grabbing my arm. “But you’re borrowing something of Lily’s when we get there.” And we disapparited.

 

 

 

 







 

       “Aphrodite!” Al exclaimed throwing his arms out, very dramatically, from about ten feet away.

 

       “Albus!” I cried mirroring his motion.

 

       He ran towards me and swept me up in a hug. Oh how I wish his brother greeted me like this. I giggled. “You ready for the ga-. Whoa.” Al said, his eyes bugging out as he put me down looking at my chest. “Don’t you want to, you know, cover up a bit?” He said uncomfortably as he looked away. No Albert, he is not a poof. He’s just like my fourth best friend so he’s protective of me, and sees me as a sister.

 

       “Thank you.” Apollo mumbled irritated in agreement. I scowled at the pair of them. Bloody blokes.

 

       “Yeah, aren’t Louis and Fred coming-“ Shane started.

 

       “You’re changing!” Apollo, Al, and James commanded in unison.

 

       “I don’t want to change, dammit! This is comfortable for quidditch, and I don’t have anything else to wear-“ I was interrupted from my rant by being swung over James’ shoulder. My face is facing his arse. Is it weird that I’m swooning? I’m sorry; I can’t help it! His arse is like perfect. Oh shut your freaking gob, Albert.

 

       I started squirming to make it seem like I wasn’t enjoying it. “James! Put me down!” I screamed. Please don’t put me down!

 

       James just chuckled. “Sorry, Biter, but I will not let my cousins rape you with their eyes.” I groaned in annoyance, which was really pleasure at the fact that his hand was on the small of my back.

 

He’s right though, Albert. Louis and Fred probably would rape me with their eyes. They are the biggest players in fifth year, and they are both are bloody gorgeous. Louis is Dom’s little brother, so he’s 1/8 veela. He and Dom look a lot alike. Louis has blonde hair and blue eyes too. Fred is Dom’s Uncle George and Aunt Angelina’s son. He is the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. His mocha colored skin, soft black hair, and golden brown eyes made the girls flip shit. They’re both the biggest bloody perverts ever, though. Most girls thought it was adorable, but I found it creepy and uncomfortable.

 

James started walking towards the house with Apollo, Shane, and Al laughing merrily behind us. Tossers. “I hate you all. You know that, right?” I huffed in annoyance to James’ arse.

 

“Come on, Ro! You know you love us!” Apollo laughed from behind me. Oh, so now that I do what he says, I’m Ro again? Twat.  

 

       “Hi Mum! Hi Dad!” James called to his parents when we got into the house, and continued walking to Lily’s room.

 

       “Hey, Harry and Ginny!” I chirped, turning my head briefly to the side so I could see them. That’s right. I’m on a first name basis with the savior of the Wizarding World and his wife. Jealous? They just laughed and shook their heads, saying nothing about the current predicament I was in. I guess they’re just used to me by now. What can I say? Something interesting always happens when I’m around.

 

       James charged up the stairs, my curls hitting each step we waked on. He opened up Lily’s door and tossed me carelessly on her bed. “Bugger!” I yelled in irritation. Stop laughing, Albert! It’s not polite to be amused over other people’s pain!

 

Lily was sitting at her desk writing something that she hastily put away. “Um, hi?” She said in a voice mingled with confusion and surprise.

 

“She needs to borrow something to cover up her boobs so she doesn’t get raped by Louis and Freddy.” Al stated simply.

 

I threw my flip-flop at the doorway they were standing in, but hit the wall instead. And that is why I am not a Chaser. “And that is why you are not a Chaser.” Apollo chuckled, repeating my thoughts, as he closed the door and they walked away. Cheeky git. I stuck my tongue out at the door.

 

“Sorry, Lily.” I apologized, straitening out my tank top that had gotten twisted around while I was snatched up and rudely thrown on the bed by James.

 

“It’s okay.” She laughed and rummaged through her closet. She pulled out a very thin, long sleeve gray shirt that was cut so it would go off one shoulder, and wouldn’t be too hot. She tossed it to me. “You can wear this if you want.”

 

I’ve always liked Lily. She is a fourth year, like Athena, but she’s in Gryffindor. Lily has the auburny colored hair like Rose and hazel eyes. She is really pretty, but has difficulties when it comes to guys because James and Al are protective of her like Apollo is with me.

 

“Thanks!” I pulled on the shirt over my tank top. The whole one shoulder thing was working for me. I had covered up, but still looked good. Jealous, Albert? Oh, don’t deny it; I know you are!

 

“No problem!” Lily smiled, pulling out whatever she was writing before. “So how big was the fight this time?” She asked. I grinned.

 

Yes, Albert, this time. Apollo and I have had quite a few little, erm, spats. Here’s how it works: I do something; he yells a lot. What can I say? I’m not the perfect child. Let me give you some examples of our arguments.

 

1: Rosie dared Dom and me to run around the school in just our knickers. Nineteen wolf-whistles, twenty-four catcalls, and fifty points deducted later, Apollo and James shouted at us for two hours.

 

2: I had a bit too much to drink at the annual Halloween party the MWSPC threw, and sort of, passed out in the middle of the common room. Apollo and Shane found me lying there the next morning, and Apollo has no consideration what so ever for people with massive hangovers. He doesn’t like when I drink because people can ‘take advantage of me.’

 

3: Apollo caught me snogging his roommate, Riley Finnigan, in Three Broomsticks. He yelled at me in front of the entire restaurant. He is always one for public scenes, Apollo is. To this day he still won’t talk at Riley.

 

       Usually, when Apollo goes on one of his little rants I either remain silent, throwing in the occasional eye roll when I see fit, or I bitch right back at him. I mean, he isn’t necessarily a saint either. Let’s go back to my name for his group. Man Whore Slag Player Chasers. I didn’t name them that for no reason! Apollo literally has shagged probably half the girls in this school, well, the attractive ones at least.

 

       “It wasn’t too bad this time. Apparently, I was dressed like a ‘bloody whore.’” I answered, and Lily laughed as she continued to write. “Is that a letter?” I asked curiously.      

 

       “Um, yeah.” Lily said sheepishly while her cheeks flamed with color. Why was she blushing? Albert! Why is Lily blushing!? Wait, why in the bloody hell am I asking you? I know that blush! That’s the blush girls get when she really likes a guy! I would know. I get it nearly every time James smiles his gorgeous smile.

 

       “You’re writing to a guy!” I yelled knowingly and her cheeks got even redder. “Ooohh! Who is it!? Who is it!?” I squealed bouncing up and down on her bed. I tend to act like a three year old on ecstasy when I get excited. Don’t worry you’ll get used to it.

 

       “Will you shut up!” Lily shrieked loudly. Hypocrite. She dove at me and put a hand over my mouth. Her eyes glanced at the door. Well, then. Someone was a bit paranoid. “Do you have any idea what James and Al would do if they found out?” Lily whispered frightfully. She uncovered my mouth.

 

       “Yeah, I do actually. I live with Apollo remember?” I responded coolly. I don’t take too well to being tackled. “So who is the guy?” I grinned at her. Yeah, I can’t stay mad at someone for more than five seconds.

 

Lily bit her lip and blushed crimson again. “Aiden Finnigan.” Oh. My. Merlin. That is about the cutest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. You know how I said I snogged Riley Finnigan, Apollo’s roommate? Well, Aiden is his little brother. He’s a fifth year Gryffindor and is absolutely perfect for Lily. Aiden has sandy brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. He is like the sweetest boy you will ever meet. Like legit. The kid is probably stuffed with fucking cookies and frosting.

 

And Aiden isn’t like the annoyingly sweet type, though. You know the type I mean, right? They, like, eat rainbows for breakfast and shit out butterflies. Those are the type of people I can’t stand. Mirabella Macmillan is one of those people. I can’t stand Mirabella Macmillan. I have dreams of punching her overly happy face repeatedly. You could say I am a violent person.

 

Fortunately, Aiden is not one of those annoyingly sweet people. He is just overall nice. He is a gentleman that would never do anything to hurt Lily, and he would comfort her if she were ever upset. I don’t even think James and Al would be able to find something wrong with him. Scratch that, they would do everything in there power to find something wrong with him. Lily was a smart girl for keeping it a secret from them because all hell would break loose when they found out that their baby sister was dating somebody. And somebody a year older than her.

 

“Aw! You guys are so perfect!” I said excitedly and Lily’s face flushed again. “When did you guys get together?” I asked her.

 

“About a month before school ended.” She answered happily. “But James and Al cannot find out about this.” Lily said seriously. Right. Like I would tell them. I knew exactly how she felt.

 

Just then the door flew open and James, Al, Shane, and Apollo walked in. “What aren’t we allowed to find out about, Lils?” James asked raising his eyebrow. Merlin, he was hot. Al folded his arms across his chest.

 

Lily froze from her position on her bed and stared wide eyed at her brothers. I glanced at the letter sitting half written on her desk. Al and James saw me look towards it. Shit. We all ran towards it at the same time.

 

James grabbed it first, and began reading it out loud much to Lily’s horror. She was still frozen on her bed. “Dear,” He started but that’s all he got out because I tackled him. Yes, tackled him. I managed to knock him to the ground, and I was wrestling him for the letter.

 

       He tried to pin my wrists together, but I kneed him in his man bits. James groaned in pain and dropped the letter. Don’t worry, Albert. I didn’t knee him too hard; I still want to have children with him one day! I snatched the letter. “HA!” I yelled triumphantly. Now Al was trying to get it from me so I did the only thing I could think of. I stuffed it into my mouth. Yeah, I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box.

 

       Lily sighed in relief, Apollo and Shane roared with laughter, Al just shook his head, and James grunted in pain from the floor. “Dammit, Biter, I’m not going to be able to have kids!” He moaned.

 

       “Sorry.” I said with my mouth full of the paper, and I shrugged my shoulders sheepishly. I spit the letter out and destroyed it with my wand.

 

       “Thank you!” Lily whispered gratefully. I grinned at her in response.

 

       “The quidditch game is about to start, but don’t think we’re done talking about this.” Al said seriously and he followed a chuckling Shane and Apollo out of the room with James crawling behind them.

 

       “Well, that was close.” Lily said running her fingers through her hair.

 

       “Yeah tell me about it.” I laughed. “I guess we better go down, yeah?” Lily nodded and grabbed her broomstick. She has a Firebolt 4.5, which is the newest version. Spoiled bitch. Hehe just kidding. They couldn’t help the fact that they were rich. My family has a good sum of money also, but not as much as the Potters. My dad is a reporter for the Daily Prophet and my mum has a position in the Ministry of Magic.

 

       I followed Lily as she marched down the steps. She usually played Chaser even though she wasn’t on the team at Hogwarts. Lily never tried out for quidditch because one, James and Al wouldn’t let her, and two because she thinks she would have no shot against James, Apollo, and Shane. I think that’s bollocks though because Lily is amazing at quidditch. She definitely inherited her mum’s talent. If I’m made captain next year, which I highly doubt, then I am forcing her on the team. Oh yeah, James has been captain for the past two years, by the way.

 

       Lily and I walked out to the back yard where we usually played quidditch. The Potters lived in the middle of nowhere so their house was perfect for playing. They have the goal post set up all the time unless they have muggles over which rarely happens. It looked as if most of the Potters/Weasleys were here, including most of the adults.

 

       “Hel-lo Legs!” I heard from behind me, along with a catcall. What the fuck? I turned around and Louis and Fred were wearing identical smirks on their faces. Blekch.

 

       “Hey Freddy, Louis.” I nodded in greeting and smiled at them.

 

       “You look hot, Pricey.” Louis grinned at me. Yes, he called me Pricey. A lot of people do. I hate it though; it makes me sound like a bloody hooker. Stop laughing Albert before I castrate you!

 

       Before I could even respond Fred jumped into the conversation. “I vote we make this a shirts and skins game. I nominate Pricey to be a skin!” He said cheerfully putting his hand high up in the air. Do you see what I mean about them being creepy?! I glanced around for Apollo, and he was chatting animatedly with Dom’s Uncle George about something. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he couldn’t hear them.

 

       “I’d like to second that notion!” Louis grinned raising his hand also. I narrowed my eyes at the pair of them.

 

       “Going once! Going twice! Sold!” Fred said acting like an auction caller.

 

       “Take off your shirt, Pricey!” Louis winked. Albert! Defend my honour! Oh, what good are you!? My hands balled up in fists. Creepy bastards.

 

       “Stop perving on Eggs!” Dom scolded coming out of nowhere and smacked them both upside the head. And that is why she’s my best friend. And yes, she called me Eggs. Dom said that the name Aphrodite was too big of a mouthful so she decided to rename me. She was eating eggs. Yeah, Dom isn’t very original. Did I ever mention that I have a lot of nicknames? Biter, Eggs, Pricey, and Ro. I think the only ones who still call me by my actual name are my parents, professors, Athena, Donny, and Al.

 

       They cursed at her and grabbed their heads in pain. Dipshits.

 

        “Dipshits.” I muttered under my breath. I tend to repeat what ever I’m thinking. You’ll get used to that also. “Dommy! Thank you for saving me from you creepy cousins!” I squealed and hugged her enthusiastically.

 

       “HEY!” Fred and Louis yelled in unison. Sorry, but it’s true.

 

       “No problem, Eggsie.” Dom laughed. “You ready for the game?” She asked eagerly as we walked towards the rest of her family.

 

       “Hell yes.” I grinned. I saw Rose standing about thirty feet away. She had her back towards me, and she was in the middle of a conversation with Al. “I’ll be right back.” I told Dom, and started charging towards Rose. My plan? To scare the shit out of Rose by jumping on her back. What actually happened? I tripped over, you guessed it, absolutely nothing, causing me to tumble down the hill and barrel into Rose and then into Al.

 

       “Bloody hell, Pricey!” Rose shrieked, right in my ear, I must add, considering the fact that I’m lying right next to her, and basically completely on top of Al. Yeah my plans never work out as I plan them. Speaking of Al, he was practically dying of laughter underneath me. Prat. I heard more laughter from all around me. I glanced up and Dom, Apollo, Shane, and James were on the floor from laughing. Arseholes. Even the adults were laughing. Overgrown arseholes.

 

       “I am lying right next to you, Rose Weasley. There is no need to scream.” I grinned obnoxiously just to bug her. Al laughed harder beneath me, along with everyone else besides Rose.

 

       “Well, you wouldn’t be lying right next to me if you hadn’t knocked me over!” Rose screeched louder in my ear. I winced. She was smiling though, which told me that she wasn’t actually angry.

 

       “Yeah, I didn’t really intend for that to happen.” I grinned and rolled myself off of Al.

 

        “Right, now that Aphrodite’s pre-game entertainment is over, how about some quidditch?” Rose’s dad said eagerly, as he helped me up, smiling. Rose’s dad was awesome. He thought I was hilarious. How could he not? Giggle. Just kidding.

 

       “Thanks, Whippy.” I grinned at him and he chuckled.

 

       So you know how I said I have a lot of nicknames? No? Merlin, Albert, you have the memory of a goldfish! Idiot. Anyway, well, I give a lot of nicknames too. I mean, there are way too many bloody Mr. and Mrs. Weasleys in this blasted family, so I decided to give them my own names.

 

I called Dom’s dad Mr. Fang because he liked to wear a fanged earring in his ear. I thought it made him look cool, but Dom thinks it makes him looked like a washed up rock star.

 

Dom’s mum is Frenchie because well, she’s French. Duh.

 

Dom’s uncle Charlie is Weird Red-headed Stranger Man. Yeah, he apparently works with dragons in Romania so I had never met him until one Christmas he showed up. He was a stranger. He is redheaded. He is a man. Plus, he was covered in burn scars so I thought that was pretty weird, hence the name Weird Red-headed Stranger Man.

 

Dom’s uncle Percy is Stick. As in, stick up the arse. He doesn’t understand it and thinks it’s just some crack about him being really thin, but Dom’s uncle George got it and gave me a high five. Score.

 

Stick’s wife is Mrs. Stick. Do I really need to explain? Yes? Dipshit. She’s Mrs. Stick because she also has a stick lodged up her arse. Like honestly that thing is probably like fifty feet long. And she’s married to Stick. Yeah.

 

Next is Dom’s uncle George. I call him Holey because he got his ear cursed off during the Second War so know it’s this gaping hole on the side of his head. Most people would probably be offended by this nickname but he found it funny. I think if I wasn’t in love with James, and he was twenty years younger and single, I’d totally date him.

 

Holey’s wife is Mrs. Holey. Yeah, that’s about it.

 

Rose’s dad as I said before is Whippy. Why?  Because he is totally and completely whipped by Rose’s mum, Hermione. That woman could ask him to wrestle a dragon while wearing a Speedo and he’d do it.

 

The Pants is Rose’s mum and Whippy’s wife. I named her The Pants because she wears the pants in her and Whippy’s relationship. That woman is my idol.

 

       And then Al’s mum and dad are just Harry and Ginny.

 

       “So how are we playing? Old, out-of-shape farts against young, attractive talents?” Fred asked smirking. He was just looking to get his arse kicked.

 

       “Out of shape?!” The adult men yelled in disbelief.

 

       “OLD!?” The woman shrieked in rage.

 

       “Farts?” Al questioned, laughing. This family is worrisome.       

 

       “Just for that we will play that way, except I’m pretty sure it’s mature, experienced players against immature, inexperienced newbies.” Holey grinned.

 

       “Hey! I may be immature, but I am definitely not inexperienced!” I yelled defensively. Inexperienced, my arse!

 

       Everybody laughed. “I didn’t mean you, Aphrodite.” He grinned and patted my shoulder. I stuck my tongue out at him, and he chuckled.

 

       “Okay! The old Gryffindor team against the new one!” James yelled, and waved Al, Apollo, Shane, Roxanne, Fred, and me over. Al was the Keeper and Roxanne and Fred were Beaters.

 

       The other quidditch team had Harry as the Seeker, Ginny, Mrs. Holey, and Lily as Chasers (Since there was no room on our team, Lily got to play for the old people team), Whippy as the Keeper, and then Holey and Molly as Beaters.

 

Molly is Stick and Mrs. Stick’s daughter and she graduated two years ago. She played for Gryffindor too for a couple of years and she was captain her last year. Molly is honestly so cool, and she is nothing like her uptight, ambitious father. She owns a kick arse clothing store in Hogsmeade that is doing extremely well.

 

“Alright everyone, win.” James commanded simply, and ruffled his hair.

 

“Well, fuck. I was actually planning on losing.” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes. James smirked.

 

“Don’t swear, Ro. It’s unladylike.” Apollo scolded me in a joking manner.

 

“Your face is unladylike.” Was my lame insult back. Apollo chuckled.

 

“That makes no sense, Pricey.” Roxanne giggled.

 

“Your face makes no sense.” I grinned. I’m a big fan of ‘your face’ jokes. It gets old pretty fast.

 

“That joke is so stupid.” Al laughed.

 

“Your face is so-“

 

“Save it, Biter!” James reprimanded, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. “We have a quidditch game to win.” 

 
 

 

 

 







 

A/N: Why hello there, anyone who is reading this! I love you:) Well, not really. It’s a bit too early in the relationship for that don’t you think? Yeah. Blah. Okay. SO. Thanks for reading and HEY! GUESS WHAT!? There is a magical box right below this for these amazing things called reviews. Try it out and I promise you won’t be disappointed. Well, actually I don’t promise that. Just try it out, yeah? Yeah. Kay bye:) 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Chapter 3: Poking, Family Squabbles, and The Sorting Game
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Disclaimer: I own nothing!



 

Amazing chapter image by dream_BIG at TDA

 









      “Aphrodite. Aphrodite!” I heard my name being spoken as someone shook me. Piss off. “Aphrodite! Wake up!” The person said a little bit louder and continued shaking me. They honestly needed to get the fuck away from me if they didn’t want to get their hand ripped off. “APHRODITE!” Donny’s voice yelled. I’m going to kill the bastard. My eyes snapped open, and I bit his finger, causing him to yelp in pain. “MUM! APRODITE BIT ME!” Donny screamed after he pulled away his finger. Damn right I bit him. He should know better than to wake me up, and then stick his body parts dangerously close to my mouth. It’s really his fault if you think about it.

 

       “Stop bloody screaming, Fuckhead!” I groaned, and covered my head with my pillow. The kid screams louder than a fucking banshee on acid.

 

       “Aphrodite Venus Price! I never want to hear that word come out of your mouth again!” My mother scolded as she entered the room. And yes, my middle name is Venus. Apparently, that’s Aphrodite’s Roman name. It’s bad enough that my first name is a Greek goddess, and then she just had to take it to a whole another level.

 

       “What, screaming? You got it!” I grinned smartarse-idly? Is smartarese-idly even a word? Hmm. Well, I’m now making it one so deal with it!

 

       “You know what word I am referring to, Aphrodite, and anymore smart mouth comments like that then no more quidditch.” My mum threatened, and Donny snickered. Psh. Like she could really take away quidditch from me. James would probably murder her. “And are you going to be ready soon?”

 

       “Ready for what?” I asked her confused.

 

       “School, Aphrodite! You’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached.” My mum said exasperated.

 

       Shit. Shit. Shit! SHIT! SCHOOL! That was this morning?! I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. 9:15. Shit. The damn train leaves at 11:00. I have an hour and forty five minutes to shower, get dressed, make myself moderately attractive, eat breakfast, pack an entire trunk, and get to the fucking station. Shit. SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP, ALBERT! I DON’T CARE IF I SAID SHIT SIX TIMES! You went back to check didn’t you, to make sure I actually said it six times? Hehe I know you so well.

 

       Okay back to freaking out. Shit. “Right, um, school!” I said excitedly to make it seem like I didn’t forget that I was starting my sixth year of Hogwarts today. Shit. Shit. SHIT! I’m so repetitive. Shit. “I just have to pack!” I glanced around the room. Clean clothes that I was supposed to put away yesterday were still in a pile on the floor, my brand new cauldron, along with my brand new quills, books, and potions ingredients were in bags strewn across the carpet. Shit. I am so fucked.

 

       My mother, sensing my worry, sighed and flicked her wand lazily so that my bag was packed and ready to go. “Thanks, Mum!” I squeaked, gave her a hug, and pinched Donny’s cheeks as I ran out the door to take a shower. 

 

 

 

 

 










       “STOP BLOODY POKING ME!” Athena screeched at me. We are in the car on the way to King’s Cross, and my mother was stupid enough to let Athena and me sit next to each other. I was bored so I resulted to poking Athena in the arm repeatedly for entertainment. Don’t look at me like that; it’s a long car ride!

 

       “I’m boorrrreeeddd.” I whined, and continued to poke her arm again. She smacked my hand away. Bitch. Apollo chuckled, my father was trying to conceal a smile as he drove the car, my mother just shook her head in disapproval, and Donny was staring out the window, counting the amount of road kill we saw on the highway. That kid makes me wonder.

 

       “I don’t give a care that you are bored, Aphrodite! STOP BLOODY POKING ME!” She screamed. I covered my ears. That girl can fucking wail. And who even says ‘I don’t give a care’? Weird Claws like my sister, that’s who.

 

       “Nah, don’t think I will.” I said, grinning obnoxiously. I poked her cheek. Her jaw tightened. She was trying to ignore me, so then I would get bored of annoying her, and stop. Yeah, no freaking way. I poked her some more, and she clenched her fists in irritation. Apollo was biting on his knuckle to try and keep himself from bursting out laughing. Donny had his ears covered, ready for Athena to start flipping shit again. My father continued driving and my mother continued reading the Daily Prophet. My parents only ever stopped our arguments for two reasons.

 

1: Athena gets so mad that she starts throwing hexes at me. That girl is an extraordinary witch, and she’s extremely scary. So why do I keep pissing her off, you ask? It’s just too damn fun to stop.

 

2: Her screaming gets so loud and so annoying that they eventually can’t take it anymore, and they tell Athena to shut the hell up and me to stop being so bloody obnoxious. It’s rather rude if you ask me.

 

       My parents believe in letting us ‘solve our on problems’. I think they are just too lazy to deal with our arguments.

 

       Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. “APRODITE!” Athena shrieked finally, and I grinned triumphantly. 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 








 

       “Will you hurry your arse up, Eggs!?” Dom yelled in frustration. We were walking down the Hogwarts Express corridor, and I was taking my good ol’ time making weird faces at passing compartment’s windows. Don’t judge me. It’s highly amusing.       

 

Ravenclaws scoff at my immaturity. Boring sons of bitches. Hufflepuffs just look confused. What else is new? Slytherins flick me off because normally that’s what I’m doing to them. And Gryffindors laugh because they know me and how totally awesome I am. I’m almost 7% sure they are laughing with me, and not at me.

 

“Sod off, Dom.” I responded. She was holding the door to the compartment we always sat in open for me. I ran to catch up, but I ended up tripping and falling on my face. Albert, laugh one more time, and I will kill you. Oh, go jump in a hole.

 

“Walk much, Pricey?” Scorpius Malfoy sneered, while Selina Zabini cackled behind him.

 

“Fuck you, Malfoy.” I snapped, standing up with the help of Dom who was scowling at Selina. They have a well-known hatred for each other. Selina stole Dom’s boyfriend two years ago, and slept with him. Dommy then charmed Selina’s forehead to say tramp, all of her clothing to read slag, dyed her hair green, and cut part of it so that it said whore. I am proud to call Dominique Anne Delacour Weasley my best friend. Headmistress McGonagall, of course, transfigured it all back, and gave Dom two months of detention, but it was still a good laugh.

 

“Pricey, are you okay?” Rose asked worriedly, popping her head out of the compartment door.

 

       “Yeah, I’m fine.” I grumbled, brushing the dirt off my elbows.

 

       “Looking good, Weasley. Go out with me?” Malfoy asked arrogantly, and smirked.

 

       Rose glared at the git with blonde hair standing before her. “I’d go out with my own cousin before you, Malfoy, and I am a huge disbeliever in incest.” Rose barked.

 

       Zabini’s muddy brown eyes narrowed at Rose. Malfoy just grinned. “You’ll say yes one day, Weasley. Mark my words.” He said confidently before returning to his own compartment with Zabini leaving Rose fuming.

 

       “Who the bloody hell does he think he is?!” Rose growled in frustration, and Dom and I followed her into the compartment grinning at her state of annoyance. It was already practically full. Dom took the seat in between Shane and Apollo, and Rose took the one in between Apollo and Al. That left me with the only other seat available, right in between a smirking Fred and Louis, on the same side as James.

 

-Being on the same side as James: Good.

 

-Being in between Fred and Louis: Bad.

 

       “Saved you a seat right here, Pricey.” Fred patted the bench, and Louis grinned. I sighed, and sat down.

 

       “What’s wrong, Rosie?” Al asked his cousin, and she glared at him. Rose hates when people call her Rosie because it makes her sound like a ‘bloody four-year old.’ I’m the only one who can get away with it because she calls me by a name I hate. Score.

 

       “Malfoy.” She snarled. Yes, snarled. Like a cat. Hiss. Don’t be jealous of the cat noises, Albert.

 

       “What did he do this time?” Al asked heatedly, suddenly getting in ‘overprotective cousin mode’.

 

       “He was being an arrogant arsehole as usual.” Rose huffed, and Dom rolled her eyes.

 

       “Please, the Slut was much worse.” She said picking at her manicured fingernail.

 

       “Zabini didn’t even say anything! Malfoy was the one that made fun of Pricey and asked me out again.”

 

       “He made fun of you, Ro?” Apollo questioned angrily.

 

       Way to go Rose. “I fell.” I responded sheepishly.

 

       “What a surprise.” Shane chuckled sarcastically. Tosser. 

 

       “Hey! I don’t fall down that often!” I retorted defensively. Everyone laughed. Turds.

 

       “Yeah, and I’m still a virgin.” Dom snorted.

 

       “WHAT?!” Fred, Louis, James, and Al yelled furiously. Apollo and Shane looked startled. Rosie and I were the only ones who remained looking unsurprised. Dom hasn’t been a virgin since forth year. No, Albert, she is not a slag! Dommy lost her virginity to the boyfriend that Zabini stole from her.

 

       “You’re not a virgin?!” Louis roared.

 

       “No, I’m not and neither are you Louie so you have no right to be mad.” Dom said hotly. Louis cringed at the childish nickname that only Dom and his mother still called him. Hehe Louie.

 

       “Yeah, but that’s different!” Louis growled. Umm? Yeah, not really bud. Louis lost his virginity when he was thirteen. I know this because he and Freddy wouldn’t shut up about it for three weeks. So I know all about his first time, in detail. I’ll spare you the disgusting facts that I had to endure.

 

       “How is that different!?” Dom shouted. Oh jeez. Family squabble. Tehe, squabble. That’s a fun word. SQUABBLE. Yo, Freddy, I suggest you get your hand off my knee if you don’t want it to get chopped off.

 

       I glanced to the prat sitting on my right, whose hand was inching up my leg. Personal space invader much? Oh Merlin, I sound like Malfoy. Remember!? When he said walk much?! When he was being a git?! Huh? Huh? Huh? Do you remember!? Yeah, just checking.

 

       James was glaring at Fred’s hand, as was Al. Everyone else was too engrossed in the fight brewing between Dom and Louis, including Apollo, who was taking bets with Shane as to who would win. Shane bet in favor of Louis. Twat.

 

       Fred’s hand was getting dangerously close to the hem of my skirt. James or Al were about to intervene at any moment, but I wanted to have my own fun. “Hey Freddy?” I whispered seductively in his ear. He shuddered. I’ll take that as a good sign. James looked shocked at what I was doing, and Al had turned his attention back to Dom and Louis who were taking turns calling each other hoe bags and slut faces. They are not the best name callers in the business.

 

       “Remove your hand from my thigh, unless you want to get punched in a place, that I know you don’t want to get punched, so hardly that your hopes of ever conceiving a child will fly out the window.” I said in a low voice, brushing my bottom lip against his earlobe. I don’t care if I’m being a tease, Albert! The horny little bastard shouldn’t be raping my leg!

 

       Fred whimpered, and withdrew his hand immediately. Success. James burst out laughing, and I grinned winningly, ruffling Freddy’s hair in a babying way. “Nice going, Biter!” James said to me and gave me a high five. Um, SQUEE x1032904829482094821048210?! Yes.

 

       “What’s so funny?” Dom asked, her brow furrowing, and all of the attention was turned to James, who was still cracking up, Fred, who had his arms folded across his chest with a very sour expression on his face, and me, probably looking like I pissed myself in happiness.

 

       “Biter just threatened to kill any chance of Freddy having a child, and then his manliness level dropped about fifty points when he whimpered.” James laughed, along with everyone else except for Fred, of course, and Louis, who looked ashamed in his best mate.

 

       “Shut the fuck up, James.” Freddy barked. Whoa there.

 

       “Gee sir, I didn’t know we had any haters in the compartment.” I said looking up at the ceiling with a fake puzzled expression on my face. Freddy chuckled. He’s like me in how he can’t stay mad at anyone for more than five seconds.

 

       “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell everyone that’s on the quidditch team in here that we have practice on Tuesday at 6:30.” James told us, and a chorus of groans erupted throughout the compartment.

 

       “The second bloody day of term!”

 

       “That’s mental!”

 

       “Quidditch season doesn’t even start until October!”

 

       “Fuck you. I’m not going.”

 

       I was the only one who remained silent during this little exchange. I wasn’t really looking forward to quidditch practice either, (James is bloody insane when it came to quidditch) but if James asked me to do something then I’d do it. What can I say? I’m in love with the kid.

 

       “I don’t give a flying fuck whether or not it’s the second day of term or that the actual season doesn’t start until October! If we want to beat Malfoy and Davis than we have to practice! So if you don’t show up on Tuesday then I hope you’re either dead or in a coma because if you’re not then you’re off my team.” James said completely serious.

 

       Malfoy is the captain for Slytherin and he’s their Seeker.

 

       Noah Davies is the captain for Ravenclaw and he’s a Chaser. He’s fucking gorgeous. Not as amazingly attractive as James, of course, but he has the whole quidditch body thing working for him and dirty blonde hair that always looked windswept with amber colored eyes. In short, he’s one of the most sought after guys in Hogwarts after the MWSPC. He’s also bloody fantastic at quidditch so everyone on my team hates him, except for me. What? He seems like an okay guy!

      

      

       “Yeah right! You know we’ll beat Slytherin!” Fred complained.

 

       “Yeah, Ro is way better than Malfoy! He’s terrible!” Apollo said. It’s true, I am, not even being cocky.

 

       “I know that, but while Malfoy might be a shit Seeker, how he even made it as captain I’ll never know-“ James started, but was interrupted.

 

       “Bribe?”

 

       “Drugged McGonagall?”

 

       “Blackmail?”

 

       “BUT,” James yelled, cutting Shane, Fred, and Al off. “The rest of his team is incredible.” He said bitterly. “And you know their Beaters are going to be aiming for Biter the whole game, so we need constant protection around her the entire time, which leaves our Beaters unable to protect the rest of us. We definitely need to practice dodging Bludgers.” James finished with a stressed out sounding sigh.

 

       Everyone’s expressions softened when they realized how much James was freaking out about quidditch this year. “Okay fine, I’ll be at practice.” Al promised grudgingly, and there was a grumble of agreement in response.

 

       James’ face broke out in a huge grin. “Damn right you’re going to be at practice. You don’t really have a choice because if you’re not there I will drag your arse to the pitch.” He said punching his brother playfully on the arm. He wasn’t kidding, you know. Apollo still has the scars to prove it. Like I said, James is bloody insane when it comes to quidditch. 

 

 

 

 

 

 









 

       “Never will that girl every be in Slytherin!” Dom said to me, looking at me as if I was a moron. We have a game that we’ve been playing since we were second years where we try and guess what houses the first years will be in. Yeah, I’m not the best.

 

       “She just looks evil.” I stated, glaring at the little girl with blonde pigtails and wide blue eyes, as she stumbled nervously to the stool.

 

       “She looks evil?’’ Dom questioned incredulously, and I nodded. “Never! She’s definitely going to be a Puff.” She said shaking her head.

 

       “HUFFLEPUFF!” The damn hat yelled at the top of its lungs. Wait, does a hat even have lungs? Hmm. That doesn’t make sense. Well, either way, it screamed it loudly.

 

       “Dammit! How do you always know!?” I growled and stuck my tongue out at Dom.

 

       “It’s a gift.” She grinned. Rose shook her head in disapproval. Rosie doesn’t participate in our game because she says we shouldn’t be judging people on stereotypes. Yeah, well, she can go jump off the astronomy tower. Al just chuckled. He doesn’t participate either because he, like me, is awful at our sorting guessing game, but he, unlike me, is a baby, and doesn’t want to lose.

 

       If I were the sorting hat, it would be so much simpler. I’d put anyone the looked like a good guy in Gryffindor, anyone that looked like a bad guy into Slytherin, and the other two can go wherever the hell they want. I don’t really care.

 

       “CARSON, MATTEW!” Professor Longbottom, the Head of Gryffindor, called, and a brunette haired boy sat down on the stool. He’s going to be a Slytherin. Definitely a Slytherin. No doubt about it. Slytherin. Slytherin. Slytherin! SLYTHERIN!

 

       “Ravenclaw.” Dom whispered to me, and I shook my head. She is so dumb. For real though, there is no way this kid is not a slimy little snake.

 

       “RAVENCLAW!” The hat screamed. Damn. Athena and her best friend, Lucy Weasley started clapping for the newest addition to the nerd house. Lucy wasn’t insanely cool like her sister. She unfortunately inherited Stick and Mrs. Stick’s personalities. In short, she was a perfect friend for my sister.

 

       “EDWARDS, PENELOPE!” Longbottom called. A girl with light brown hair, and green eyes started walking up to the stool. She tripped on one of the steps, and fell flat on her face. The Slytherins bursted out laughing, surprise, surprise, along with a lot of the rest of the Great Hall.

 

Instead of blushing or crying though, the girl just picked herself up, dusted the dirt off her robes, and skipped to the stool. She didn’t even get embarrassed! Plus, she skipped! I am a big fan of skipping. It gets you to where you need to go faster, and it’s fun!  She didn’t seem to care what anybody else thought of her.

 

“Gryffindor.” I whispered to Dom. She studied the girl, and shook her head in disagreement.

 

“Nah. She’s a Puff.” Dommy said confidently. Git.

 

I glanced back up at the girl, who had just had the hat placed on her head. It took all of three seconds before the hat yelled, “GRYFFINDOR!”

 

       “Yes! I finally beat you, didn’t I, Weasley!? What do you think about that? Looks as if I’m the champion this time!” I squealed, and started clapping for myself. Don’t look at me like that; I’m excited.

 

       “Eggs, calm down, you little shit! It’s just a game!” Dom said irritated, and she punched me lightly on the arm. Well, someone was a little bitter.

 

       Penelope Edwards skipped to the table, and sat down right next to me. Dom, Al, Rosie, and I always sat close to the professors during the welcoming feast so we could see the firsties better.

 

       “Hi Penelope!” I greeted cheerfully. What can I say? I’m just a friendly person.

 

       “If you every call me Penelope again, I’ll bite your nose off. It’s Elle. I’m letting you off with a warning this time because you didn’t know any better.” She said brightly. Well, shit. A first year just told me off, a six year! No wonder she was put in Gryffindor! She bites people too. That’s makes a person pretty awesome in my book. “What are your names?” Penelope, sorry, Elle asked Dom, Rose, Al, and me who were all staring at her with surprised expressions on our faces. Well, their expressions were surprised. Mine was more admiring.

 

       “I’m Aphrodite Price. This is Dominique and Rosie Weasley, and Albus Potter.” I told her gesturing to my friends.

 

       “It’s Dom.” Dom corrected, glaring at me for using her full name.

 

       “And it’s Al.” Al said sticking his tongue out at me.

 

       “It’s Rose.” Rosie corrected also, smacking my shoulder.

 

       Elle started giggling. “You’re name is Albus? Seriously?” It was kind of weird. She acted as if she had never heard of Albus Potter. Everyone in the Wizarding World knows who Albus Potter is. He’s the son of ‘The Chosen One’ and ‘The Boy Who Lived.’ You’d have to be living under a rock to not know who the Potters were.

 

       “Wait. You don’t know who he is?” Dom asked incredulously.

 

       “Um, no. Should I?” Elle said taken aback, and genuinely confused.

 

       “Albus Potter. Harry Potter’s son?” Rose tried.

 

       “Oh! Harry Potter! Isn’t he the bloke that killed the weird dude with the snake nose? Voldemort? That guy was creepy. So you’re his kid?” Elle said nonchalantly, twirling a piece of hair around her finger.

 

 

       Al, Dom, and Rose all gaped at her. “How do you not know this?” I asked her.

 

       “My parents are muggles. I saw about the snake nose guy in some history book.” Elle told us.

 

       “MYERS, BRADLEY!” Longbottom called.

 

       “Definitely a Gryffindor.” Dom told us.

 

       “No way. He’s a Slytherin.” I said rolling my eyes at her stupidity. Yes, I realize that I pick nearly everyone to be a Slytherin.

 

       “You guys are both wrong. He’s going to be in Ravenclaw.” Elle said confidently.

 

       “RAVENCLAW!” The hat shouted. I think I’m going to like this girl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 









 

       “I will kill you if you don’t get off my bed in three seconds, Aphrodite Venus Price!” Dom threatened, her wand pointing at me.

 

       I ate too much at the feast, so I crashed on the first bed I saw. Dommy could be little nicer, and just realize the fact that I ate a baby in food, and that I am going to die from eating overload.

 

       “Doooommmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyy, please don’t make me move.” I pleaded, my voice slightly muffled because I was speaking into her pillow.

 

       “Threeeeeee. Twoooooo.” Dom sang. I fucking hate when she does the counting thing. My mum still does it to Apollo and me. It makes me feel like a child. “Two and a haaaalf.” It won’t work Dominique. “Two and a quarterrrrrrr.” Shit.

 

       “Fine! I’m getting up!” I growled, and crawled to my own bed.

 

       “Works every time.” Dom giggled. Why I picked her as my best friend, I will never understand.

 

       “Roooossssssssiiiiiiieeeeeeee! Your cousin is being mean to meeeeeee!” I whined. And Rose and Dom laughed at me. Bitches.

 

       “I’m dyyyinnggggggggg.” I cried melodramatically.

 

       “Fingers crossed.” A shrill voice said entering the room.

 

       “Fuck off, Wright.” Dom snapped, and Rose and I scowled at the bitch standing before us.

 

       Alex Wright. She’s our other roommate, along with her best friend, Lizzie Hughes. Alex is evil, and she hates me. The feeling is mutual. She and Voldemort were probably best friends in a past life. Honestly, she lives to make my life hell. I didn’t even do anything to her. Okay, okay, so in first year I may have accidentally made her bald. It wasn’t my fault, and she’s not bald anymore so she should just stop being a fucktard. Alex is also annoying as hell. She spends hours getting ready in the morning until she still looks like she belongs on a street corner.

 

       Oh, and did I mention that she’s James’ girlfriend. Yeah, fuck my life. 

 

 

 

 

 

 









 

A/N: Right so thank you so much for all of the incredible reviews! They are the shit, and they make my life complete. Literally. My life=Completed. Score.

 

Annyyywayyyy, I hope you enjoyed this chapter because I’ve been killing myself for days trying to get it done. I always find myself getting distracted by evil inventions like Facebook and YouTube. Those websites were made to kill me, I swear.

 

Once again I used quotes from AVPM/AVPS in here, and once again if you haven’t seen them yet then I highly recommend you watch it because you definitely won’t regret it. Well, I don’t know if you’ll regret it or not. I don’t know your life. Blah.

 

And I can’t take credit for the quote: “Gee sir, I didn’t know we had any haters in the compartment.” That is courtesy of my older brother. Well, not the compartment part, but he always says to me when I am not in the happiest of moods, gee sir, I didn’t know we had any haters in the building. He’s a weird guy, my brother. He asked if I was a yellow beaked columbian finch the other day. And then asked if my little brother was a four-year-old muskrat. Yeah, I don’t know either.

 

Okay now this thing is getting really long and I doubt anyone is even reading it anymore so yeahhh. Review, please, and you’ll be my best friend forever. :) 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Chapter 4: Grimpers, Noah Davis, and Flobberworms
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Disclaimer: I own nothing! 

Image by dream_BIG at TDA (:

 











       I am the happiest girl on the planet. Literally, there is nobody that could possibly be happier than me right now. On my tombstone, when I die, they will put, “Here lies Aphrodite Venus Price aka Pricey, Eggs, Ro, and Biter: The Happiest Girl on the Planet.” It has a nice ring to it. Don’t you think? You know why I am the happiest girl on the planet? James Freaking Potter is at quidditch practice without a shirt on.

      

       Sure, he practices all the time without one on, but his body never ceases to amaze me. Honestly, he’s got the biceps of a god. And when he runs, his body looks twice as good, if that’s even possible. It should be against the law to look as good as him when someone runs. I probably look like a drunken chicken when I run. James actually doesn’t even let me run with the team anymore, thank Merlin. I think it had something to do with the amount of injuries I caused. When I run, I fall. Sue me. Actually don’t. I do not need another lawsuit. Just kidding, but not really.

 

       Anyway, so while the rest of the team runs, I get to sit on the bleachers, and watch them. I know what you’re thinking, Merlin, that must be soooooo boring. Would you call watching five in-shape blokes run, boring? Well, one of them is my brother so he doesn’t really count, but still! Four in-shape blokes running is not bad. Not bad at all.

 

       Now you would think that Al wouldn’t have a very good body because he’s got that whole ‘innocent-I’m-so-nice’ thing going on, but that kid could seriously model. I mean, I know I shouldn’t be ogling at the brother of the man I’m going to marry and my best friend’s body, but I can’t help it! I’m a teenage girl. I blame the hormones.

 

       Shane’s body: Don’t get me even get me started. All I will say is, the boy is fit.

 

       Fred’s body is too weird to even think about considering the fact that he’s a creeper and if he even caught me looking at his body, then he’d take that as an invitation, and try to rape me.

 

       And then there’s Apollo. I don’t believe in incest so I won’t go into what his body looks like. If you want to know then you can take it up with the MWSPC fan club. They’ll go into it in explicit detail. I honestly don’t recommend it if you don’t want to barf your lungs out. Is it possible to barf your lungs out? Hmm. My new goal in life is to see if it is possible to barf your lungs out. I have a lot of goals in life. Want a list? That’s right. I know you do.

 

1. Well, like I just said, I want to see if it’s possible to barf your lungs out. I don’t know how I will go about putting this particular goal in motion, but I’ll figure it out. Just give me time.

 

2. I want to find out what the makers of the Wizard of Oz were on when they made that movie. Honestly? Dancing munchkins? Women traveling in bubbles? That shit must’ve been strong.

 

3. I want to find out what exactly is in a hot dog. Although, I’m kind of scared of this goal to be honest.

 

4. I want to kill Professor Binns. Again. I hate that bloody ghost with a fiery, burning passion.

 

5. I want to own a pet cheetah. Don’t judge.

 

 

       “So explain to me again the different positions?” Elle said to me, with a puzzled expression. Because she is a muggle-born, she doesn’t know anything about quidditch so I, being the amazingly nice person that I am, offered to explain it to her at our first practice. What can I say? I’m a saint. Tehe. I couldn’t even think that with a straight face.

 

       “Okay, so there are the Chasers, who are Apollo, my brother, James, Al’s brother, and Shane.” I said pointing out the correct people to her.

 

       “Your brother’s hot.” Elle told me. I just threw up a little.

 

       “Are you sure you’re eleven?” I asked warily.

 

       “Pretty sure.” She replied, grinning.

 

       “Okay yeah, so the Chasers use the ball called a Quaffle and try to score through the goal posts. The Keeper, who is Al, tries to stop the Quaffle from going through. If the Quaffle does go through then the other team gets ten points. The Beaters use their Beater bat thing, and try to stop the Chasers from the other team from scoring by hitting them with Bludgers.” I explained. “The Beaters on our team are Fred and his sister Roxanne.” I told her, pointing at the two idiots racing against each other. Elle nodded to show that she understood what I was saying.

 

       “And then I’m the Seeker. I have to catch the Golden Snitch. If I catch it, then the game ends, and our team gets 150 points.” I said.

 

       “So basically you are the most important person on the team?” She asked curiously.

 

       “Not really. Everyone has a really important position. Fred and Roxanne have to protect everyone so they don’t get knocked off their broom. Al has to stop all of the shots the other team tries to make. And even if the other team catches the snitch, if we have more points than them, then we still win, which is where the Chasers come in handy. It’s a really big team sport. You all have to work as one.” I responded, truthfully. I mean, I could take all the credit, and say I was the star of the team, and that everyone relied on my awesomeness, but I’d be lying.

 

       “Why don’t you have to run, and everyone else does?” Elle questioned.

 

       “Because I-“ I started.

 

       “BITER!” James called, waving me over. He was all sweaty. Kill me. Seriously, just take a hatchet to my brain, or some crazy, fucked up thing like that. Be creative. Just kill me before I do something stupid. Please? With cheese on top? What? If you ask me, cheese is way better than sugar. Just saying.

 

       “Shit. I have to go, but you can stay and watch if you want. I’ll talk to you later!” I yelled to Elle over my shoulder, waving goodbye, as I ran down the bleachers. Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Don’t fall. Dude, fuck you.

 

       When I chant don’t fall repeatedly in my head that does not mean trip halfway, and go tumbling down the steps and fall on your arse at the bottom. The amount of class I have is astounding. It really is. Thank you for not laughing madly in amusement, Albert. I truly appreciate it. Oh good, you caught the sarcasm. It’s nice to know that you’re not a total dipshit.

 

       I could hear Elle giggling from the upper part of the bleachers. I am disowning her as my new firstie friend. Apollo, Al, Roxanne, and James were all bent over me with worried expressions on their faces.

 

       “Ro, are you okay?” Apollo asked me, examining my arm, which was bending at a funny angle. I made a noise that resembled a mix between a groan and a whimper. A grimper? Yeah, I made a grimper. I think I’ll copyright that word. You’ll see it in the English dictionaries in a few years.

 

       “Is she going to be able to practice?” James asked Apollo. Gee James, it’s nice that you care more about my ability to practice rather than my ability to move my arm. How very sensitive of you. Sigh.

 

       “Ro, I think you should go to the Hospital Wing.” Apollo told me after shooting a dark glare at James.

 

       “No bloody way I’m going back to that wretched place!” I yelled, trying to sit up. That’s right, I said wretched. Stepping up the vocabulary. “Poppy will flip shit if I go back there twice in one day!”

 

       “You were already in the hospital? It’s the second day of term!” Apollo said exasperated, and Roxanne giggled.

 

       “There was a Potions incident.” Al said, trying to hide his grin.

 

       “For the last bloody time, it was not my fault!” I growled defensively.

 

       “What happened?” Freddy asked chuckling.

 

       “She blew up her cauldron, and the explosion threw her fifteen feet backwards into the wall. What was it? A concussion and four broken bones?” Al explained, laughing his arse off. Prat. I could have died.

 

       “It was three broken bones and only a minor concussion, you git.” I corrected sticking my tongue out at Al.

 

       “You need to be more careful, Biter.” James said sincerely. I think I just had a heart attack. “We need you for quidditch.” Nice. Glad I’m needed.

 

       “Apollo, can you please just fix it? You’re good at healing spells.” I pleaded.

 

       “Fine, but don’t be pissed if I botch it.” He said, and muttered an incantation at my arm. It instantly felt better. Success. “Is it okay?” Apollo asked me. I nodded, grinning.

 

       “Can we get on with practice, please?” James asked impatiently. He is such a jackarse when it comes to quidditch.

 

       “Yeah, let’s go.” I said standing up. I swayed a little bit, but that was typical of being a complete klutz.

 

       “Alright, we’re going to start off with some drills today.” James said, tossing us our brooms. He handed mine to me because he knows I couldn’t catch something if my life depended on it. He’s so sweet, don’t you think? “Get your arses in the air!” James yelled. Okay, not the best example.

 

       I mounted my broom, and kicked off. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that feeling of the first kick off of the day. I love the feeling of soaring into the air, and the wind blowing through my curls. It’s indescribable, like nothing can touch me or hurt me. All my cares just go away. Whoa. That was deep. Maybe I should become a poet. I can rhyme! Tall. Fall. Call. Hall. Mall. Wall. Dall? Jall? You know what? Maybe I’ll stick to inspiring speeches.

 

       I flew a few laps around the pitch, along with the rest of the team, and then James called us to meet him in the middle.

 

       “Okay, so-“ James was cut off from our instructions by seven idiots zooming by us on broomsticks. They flew so close that my hair flew up by the breeze that they caused. Arseholes.

 

“What the fuck, Malfoy?” Fred yelled.

 

       Malfoy and the rest of his team whipped their broomsticks around so that they were facing us. The Slytherin team all had identical evil smirks on their faces. Our team all had identical death glares on our faces. Literally. Identical. James made us practice in front of a mirror last year to intimidate people. Did I mention that he’s insane? It’s okay, I still love him. I don’t really think our glares were working though because the Slytherins weren’t cowering or screaming in fright. Damn.

 

       “Got a problem, Weasley?” Malfoy sneered.

 

       “He does, and so do I. What the fuck are you doing here, Malfoy? We have the pitch today.” James said, his brow furrowing. You know it really should be illegal to be as cute as him. 

 

       “Au contraire, Potter.” Malfoy grinned waving a piece of paper in the air. Seriously? Au contraire? Who even says that anymore? “Professor Snelbaker signed this paper allowing us to practice to start our new training schedule. We’re going to be a better and more skilled team this year.” He smirked. Professor Snelbaker is the Head of the Slytherin house and the Potions professor. Is it just me or has every Potions teacher been a Slytherin? I think it’s some sort of idiotic tradition that all of the Potions professors have to be pricks. 

 

       “That’s not that difficult considering you lost almost every match last term.” Shane snorted. Malfoy scowled.

 

       “You are going to need to train 24/7 if you want to even come close to beating us, Malfoy.” James laughed. “Come on, guys.” He said, and flew to the ground. We followed him, the males making noises of anger. You know, noises of anger! Like grunting and such. They also huff and growl. It’s very strange if you ask me.

 

       “What the fuck, James?!” Apollo said outraged after he landed.

 

       “Yeah, why’d you let him get away with that? We could’ve kicked their arses of the pitch.” Fred seethed. Like I said, I’m stepping up the vocab.

 

       “I’m not going to give Malfoy the satisfaction.” James reasoned calmly. I can’t get no, I can’t get no. I can’t get no satisfaction. Sorry. I quite like that muggle song. It’s so catchy, you know? You know what. Just ignore me. It would be for the best, really.

 

       “Besides, they need all of the practice they can get. I don’t want us to crush them too easily. And we can just make up practice tomorrow morning at 5:30.” James smirked evilly, and started off the pitch. The whole team groaned in unison.

 

       “Fuck you, Malfoy!” Our team shouted simultaneously at the idiot in the sky. He grinned, and kept flying. Butthole. 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 












       “ROSE WE ARE NOT GOING TO BE LATE!” Dom and I shouted at the mental redhead, that we for some reason call our friend, sprinting through the corridor.

 

       “Class starts in four minutes!” She exclaimed in a panicky voice.

 

       Why were we running so late this morning you ask? Well, there is a very simple answer. Alex Wright and Lizzie Hughes are the biggest bitches in the entire planet. They decided that it would be hilarious if they turned off our alarm clocks. Yeah, I nearly pissed myself laughing.

 

       No, I actually found it rather unfunny. In fact, I found it completely fucked up. Why? You’re only asking because you’ve never had to deal with Rose Weasley on the verge of being late. She’s scary. Like extremely scary. She’s already knocked over four first years, five second years, including Donny, three third years, and even a Beater on the Slytherin quidditch team. The girl is a beast.

 

       When Rose finally woke up, she had an insane, psycho, spaz attack and screamed bloody murder until Dom and I woke up. We then had six minutes to brush our teeth, fix our hair, and get dressed. Fuck yes.

 

       You see, in my haste to get ready to avoid Rose’s frighteningness, I just threw on my uniform in about thirty seconds. My tie was very loose around my neck, only about a quarter of my buttons were done on my shirt, and my skirt was from last year because that was the only one I could find, therefore it was extremely short. Basically, I looked like a slag. Apollo would have a heart attack if he saw me. I was trying to adjust my outfit as I ran with Dom to catch up with Rose.

 

       I crashed into somebody, and fell to the ground. Dom just smirked at me, and Rose kept running. “Shit. I’m so-“ I started saying, as I looked up at the person I ran into, and my hazel eyes met a pair of amber ones. Noah Davies. NOAH. FUCKING. DAVIS. Oh world, why must you hate me so?

 

       “Not a problem, Pricey.” He smiled, offering me a hand. His eyes traveled up and down my body. Holy poop.

 

       I grabbed his hand, and he pulled me up. “Thanks!” I practically yelled. Merlin, I am such a freak.

 

       “So where were you running off to?” He asked me curiously, his eyes still scanning my body.

 

       “Potions. Rosie was worried that we were going to be late.”  I told him.

 

       “Do you mind if I walk you there? The dungeons aren’t really on my way, but I can make time.” Noah asked me, his eyes were looking into mine. And he was smiling hopefully. His smile was honestly so pretty. His teeth were perfect and so bright that they could even make McGonagall swoon. Wow, that’s a weird picture to have in my head.

 

       “I’d like that.” I responded, grinning. Did I care that he was only talking to me because I was dressed like a skank? Negative.

 

       He smiled again as he reached down and picked up my bag. I slung it over my shoulder, and we started walking to the dungeons. “So do you like Potions?” He asked me. How very Ravenclaw of him.

 

       “I don’t really like any class.” I responded truthfully. I heard Dom stifle a giggle. I almost forgot she was still behind us! Nosy bint. I flicked her off secretively behind my back. “I only take half the courses because my mum makes me.” I told him. My mum says that my work ethic is worse than a sloth’s. Yeah, I don’t know either.

 

       Noah chuckled and shook his head. “There’s not one class that you like even a little?” He questioned.

 

       I pondered what he said. Yes, pondered. I am decent in Charms and Transfiguration. Okay, I’m bloody brilliant in them, but I don’t really actually like the subjects that much. And I despise Potions even though I’m really good in that class also.  Herbology is a load of turds. Astronomy is for gits. Divination makes me want to barf. I’d kill myself before I’d sit through another year of History of Magic. Defense Against the Dark Arts is okay. I mean, Professor Lupin is fit.

 

And then Care of Magical Creatures is probably the only class I actually sort of enjoy. The class is super easy because Hagrid gives everyone passing grades, and I like playing with the creatures. What can I say? I have the mind of a two year old.

 

Plus, I’m just a total boss in that class. I guess I just have a natural ability with animals. The only reason I got Exceeds Expectations on my O.W.L was because I threw a flobberworm at my examiner. He was being a twat waffle. Yes, twat waffle, Albert. It’s a perfectly acceptable term.

 

“I guess I like Care of Magical Creatures. And Defense isn’t all that bad.” I answered. Poop. He was a bloody Ravenclaw! I should be telling him that I love all subjects and homework is very important to me and that professors are my heroes! Claws like Athena love to hear that kind of shit. If Thena is ever really pissed at me then I ask for her help with homework. Works every time. She thinks that I actually start to get serious about schoolwork. What a load of bollocks. The day that I get serious about schoolwork is the day that McGonagall announces that she is secretly a stripper in Las Vegas.

 

BAD MENTAL IMAGES!

 

       “Care of Magical Creatures is probably one of my favorites too.” Noah said, and flashed another smile at me. I’m pretty sure my knees almost gave out. They didn’t though. That would’ve been a tad awkward. You know? Me falling to the ground and him just being like, what the fuck? I only smiled? This girl is mental. I’ve heard it all before. Well, not really. Only the, this girl is mental. Yes, I am quite familiar with that phrase.

 

       “So-“ Noah started, but was cut off by the bell ringing. Shit.

 

       “Fuck!” Dom screamed from behind us. She ran, grabbed my arm, and started pulling me away. “Sorry Davis, but Eggs has to get to class or my insane cousin is going to kill us!” Dom explained loudly.

 

       “I’ll talk to you later?” I called hopefully over my shoulder.

 

       “Definitely!” He yelled, and I saw him wink just before Dom pulled me around the corner. A smile was practically plastered across my face.

 

       “So are you going to fuck Davis?” Dom asked bluntly as we continued running. I smacked her shoulder roughly.

 

       “No, you tosser! He didn’t even ask me out, for Merlin’s sake! We were just talking!” I said, holding on to her arm so I wouldn’t fall as I ran.

 

       “Haven’t forgotten about my dear cousin, James, have you?” Dom asked, grinning and wriggling her eyebrows. Sometimes I really wonder why I am friends with her. Dom and Rose are the only ones that know about me loving James. They like to tease me about it constantly, the bitches.

 

       “Of course not.” I snapped. “I can like two people at once, can’t I? And besides, nothing is even going on with Noah. Like I said, we were just talking.” I reasoned.

 

       “I suppose. Rose is going to kill us for being late again.” Dom said breathlessly as we slowed to a walking pace into the Potions room.

 

       “She’s not the only one.” I whispered to Dom as I caught the look on Professor Snelbaker’s face. She giggled.

 

       “Late again. Twenty points from Gryffindor.” He barked. The Gryffs in the class groaned and the Slytherins snickered like the douche bags they are. Because it was a N.E.W.T level and because our year is full of gits, the class size is considerably smaller so we have Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs with us also.

 

        Dom and I went to sit down in our usual seats, but he stopped us. “Due to the accident caused by carelessness and unwise fooling around,” Snelly said shooting a sharp look towards Dom and me. “You are going to be assigned new partners.”

 

       Everybody in the class glared at us. Perfect. “Way to go, Aphrodite.” Al said, smirking. He was clearly amused that my accident caused an actual change. Snelly hates change of any kind.  

 

       “Okay, Lizzie Hughes and Daniel Forrestburg.” Snelly started calling off names from his clipboard. Lizzie scoffed at the fact that she was paired with a Hufflepuff. “Clare Edwards and Eli Goldsworthy.” Clare is a very nice Ravenclaw, but an extreme goody-good, and Eli is a Gryffindor that is pretty good friends with Al. Clare blushed slightly, and Eli smirked. Interesting.  “Dominique Weasley and Selina Zabini.” Both girls had looks of pure outrage when their names were called together. That was not going to end well, but they took their seats, nonetheless. “Albus Potter and Tessa Lewis.”

 

Al’s face broke out into a huge grin as he took a seat next to the Ravenclaw. It was obvious why. Tessa was beautiful, like absolutely stunning. She is almost as pretty as Dom, but Dommy is a veela, and let’s face it, they’re pretty tough to beat. Not only is she pretty, but she is also probably the most good-hearted person I have ever met.  Al has had a crush on her for years, so I understand why he is so happy to be with her. Tessa tried to conceal a smile, which leads me to believe that the feeling is mutual. Yeah, way to get it done, Ally!

 

“Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy.” The entire class’s head shifted to Rose’s direction to see her face, which was turning slightly green. Oh no, sorry, purple. Oh now it was a lovely shade of red. Hmm. That’s probably not good…

 

“You’ve got to be bloody joking!” She shrieked, standing up so abruptly that her chair fell to the floor making a loud noise. Malfoy smirked. What a prat. The rest of the class remained silent except for Dom and me who were trying to contain our laughter.

 

“No, I am not ‘bloody joking’, Miss Weasley. You are partners with Mr. Malfoy, and that’s final.” Snelly snapped. Hehe alliteration is a beautiful thing. “And fifteen points from Gryffindor for your outburst.” He added with an evil smirk. I will smack him one day; mark my words. Bitch slap right across the face in the middle of one of his lectures. It. Will. Be. Epic.

 

       “Julia Thomas and Mirabella Macmillan.” Hahaha sucks to be you Julia. Have I mentioned that I hate Mirabella? Oh I did? Okay good, just checking. Snelly continued, “Alex Wright and Aphrodite Price.” KILL MYSELF. I mentioned that I hate Alex also, right? I did? Several times? Okay good.

 

       I felt my face contort into a rather interesting expression. It was something like my eyes bulging out of their sockets, my nostrils flaring, my jaw dropping, and my eyebrows shooting up. Dom burst into laughter. Again, I am really wondering why I am friends with her. Rosie shot me a sympathetic look because she was partnered with someone she despised also. Al was too busy flirting with Tessa to notice my distress.

 

       Alex was none too happy either. She had her arms folded across her chest, and her knuckles were almost white from clenching them so hard. She looked down at the empty seat beside her and then back at me, shooting me a glare that clearly said, “Well? Aren’t you going to move?” 

 

       I rolled my eyes, took the seat next to her, and threw my satchel down on the table. Indiana Jones wears one. He is my hero. Well, one of them. My other heroes include:

 

1. The inventor of cheesecake: No need for explanation.

 

3. The inventor of sports bras: You’re a guy, Albert. You don’t understand the difference.

 

4. Dwight Schrute: The guy owns a beet farm and has ninja weapons at the ready. How can you beat that?

 

       “Okay, so today we are going to be making-“ Snelly started the instructions, but I was distracted by Alex whispering (AKA gossiping) with Lizzie.

 

       “So how was last night with James?” Lizzie winked. My jaw clenched.

 

       “Absolutely perfect.” Alex giggled. Why do girls giggle? I will never understand it. I mean sure, I giggle, but when I do, it’s not the swoon-obnoxious-I-think-I’m-so-cute-but-really-I’m-just-annoying-as-fuck giggle; it’s more like the that-was-funny giggle. Much less stupid.

 

       “What did you guys do last night?” Lizzie whispered.

 

       “What do you think we did, Liz?” Alex smirked, pushing a piece of black hair out of her face.

 

       “The ingredients are written up on the board. Get started.” Snelly barked.

 

       I got up to get the ingredients before Alex could even blink. Anything to get away from the conversation that was taking a turn to something that I really didn’t want to hear about. Rose and Dom also were fetching the ingredients for their groups.

 

       “No way in hell will I be able to work with that skank all year.” Dom whined looking miserable.

 

       “At least your partner doesn’t ask you out every two minutes!” Rose huffed and glared at Malfoy who was talking animatedly to some of his Slytherin gits.

 

       “Yeah well, your partner isn’t the girlfriend of the love of your life, and doesn’t talk about fucking said person.” I said in a quiet, small voice, and bit my lip. Their faces immediately softened, and they put consoling hands on my arm and shoulder.  I shook them off.

 

       “It’s whatever.” I shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

 

       I obviously failed because Dom said, “Do you want me to pour frog spawn on her?” Holding up a jar of it and grinning. Now I remember why she is my friend.

 

       “Nah, I’m fine.” I laughed, getting the rest of my ingredients, and returning to my seat.

 

       “Took you long enough.” Alex said rolling her eyes. I ignored her like the strong person I am. Or try to be, at least.

 

       I turned the heat for the cauldron on. “Start chopping the roots.” I told her, and I began crushing the beetles.

 

       “You shouldn’t even have a partner. There’s too much of a risk that you’ll blow somebody up.” She sneered and Lizzie cackled. Cackled, there is no word for her manic laughter. I continued crushing the beetles, perhaps a bit harder than necessary.

 

       “Nice outfit, by the way.” Alex said sarcastically. “I always knew you were a slag.” I bit the inside of my cheek so hard that I tasted blood. I never liked the taste of blood. It tastes like rust and salt. Donny likes it. I think he’s secretly a vampire. He likes bloody flavored lollipops, which is suspicious if you ask me.

 

       I added the crushed beetles into the cauldron, and began stirring counter clock ways. “And your makeup looks great.” She laughed, sardonically. “Did you do it in the dark?”

 

       “I’m not even wearing makeup, you fucking imbecile. You know why?” I said loudly. I honestly hate this girl so much, and I didn’t even care that the entire Potions class was watching us. “Because two stone cold bitches, who think that they’re hot shit and so much better than everybody else, turned off our alarm clock because they thought it would be fucking hilar to see us sprint to class and still be late. And you know what’s really ironic? That you call me a slag, but you’re the one that was sitting here, talking about fucking your boyfriend.” I don’t even know where this rant was coming from.

 

“Sweetie, look at your outfit and makeup.” I continued, and she looked down at her usual short skirt and loosely buttoned top. Her makeup was caked on to an ungodly amount. “Try being a little less desperate.” And then I ‘accidentally’ dumped a jar of dead, rotten flobberworms on her head.

 

I smirked triumphantly. Dom, Al, and Rose were clapping and cheering along with most of the Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors, except for Lizzie who looked bloody pissed as hell. The Puffs were shocked that anybody could be so mean. Rejects. The Slytherins looked at me admiringly, but were too proud to cheer for a Gryff.

 

Alex looked pretty close to tears, but I wasn’t sorry at all. I mean, she was being a right bitch! I’m supposed to stick up for myself, aren’t I? That’s what Apollo taught me.

 

I felt on top of the world for about three more seconds and then Snelly bellowed, “DETENTION!” At the top of his lungs. Bugger. 

 

 

 

 

 

 










 

A/N: Oh hi! So I hope ya’ll (getting in touch with my nonexistent southern side) liked this chapter! It took me forever because I get massive writers block and I have to write in increments. So basically I’ll write like five paragraphs, go on Facebook for an hour, write about two more paragraphs, read on HPFF for like two hours, stare at the word document for about twenty minutes before writing like four more words, and then go rewatch YouTube videos for the rest of the night. It’s an endless cycle so you can probably see why it takes me so long.

 

And for all you Degrassi fans out there, I hope you liked the Eli and Clare characters:D I freaking love those two so I had to add them in!
 

The Indiana Jones thing is from the brilliant movie, The Hangover:) Gotta love it. And I do not own Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones.

 Please review! Tell me your favorite quotes or weird Aphrodite moments! Or even just to say hello. Just review please, because they keep me writing! And I have a new meet the author page on the forums so check that out if you have any free time:D THANKSS!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Chapter 5: Frustrating Males, Spying, and Naïve Brothers
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Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

Amazing image by dream_BIG at TDA!
 

 







So you know what’s really boring? Possibly the most boring thing in the entire universe? Like so boring that I’d rather be in History of Magic because it’s that bad? Detention with Snelly. And what’s really ironic is that he is making me sort dead and rotten flobberworms. I envy his level of evilness. 

 

Detention with other professor isn’t nearly as bad. And trust me I’d know.

 

        I don’t get detention from Professor Lupin that often because I’m probably his favorite student after the Weasley/Potter’s, but when I do it’s apparently ‘absolutely necessary’. I disagree. I think that hexing a student so well that they were put in the hospital wing for a week should be congratulated rather than punished. But anyway, detention with Teddy isn’t that bad because well, have you seen him? I’d sort flobberworms for that man any day.

 

       I think my detentions with Binns are something to be proud of, considering the fact that he rarely notices anything in his surroundings, including students raising their hands. I believe the first detention I got from him was in second year because I threw my textbook at his head because I didn’t believe Al when he told me that it would go through.  Another one was when I yelled at him to go fuck himself when he assigned us three rolls of parchment on the Goblin Rebellions of 1890. Who the bloody hell gives two shits about goblins?

 

       I’m no novice to detention with Trelawney. She’s probably the professor I get in trouble from the most besides Snelly. That woman hates me with a passion because the first time we used crystal balls she pissed me off so I predicted that she would feel a horrible pain in her left leg and then I kicked her left leg. I believe I got three months detention for ‘assaulting a professor.’ Bullshit.

 

       Hagrid only gave me detention once. It all happened because Rose got pissed at Malfoy for being a bloody annoying git so I, being the incredibly good friend that I am, assisted her in putting a baby blast ended skrewt down his pants. I then took all of the blame because Rose was afraid it was going to ruin her perfect record. Sometimes I am ashamed to call her my friend. The actual detention was tea at Hagrid’s hut. Oh. No.

 

       All the other professors have given me detention several times for doing various things such as throwing dungbombs at Slytherins, sleeping in an inflatable muggle raft with Dom on the Black Lake, and charming all of the professors’ hair pink. I’m rather proud of that last one.

 

       I sighed and picked up another flobberworm. It was slightly brown so I put it in the rotten and dead bucket. Bleck.

 

       “Hey Ro.” Someone said so suddenly and so close to me that I yelped in surprise and fell off of the chair I was sitting on.

 

Yup, keeping it classy.

 

       “What are you guys doing here?” I asked, my eyebrows rose as I looked up at the amused expressions of Apollo, James, and Shane.

 

       “We thought you might be bored. And we couldn’t have you in only the company of dead worms.” Apollo said, helping me up, James grinned, and Shane flicked his wand so that all the flobberworms were magically sorted.

 

       “Hey! You can’t do that! Snelly is going to check to see if I did it magically-“ I started complaining, despite the fact that I was grateful that my job was done.

 

       “Exactly. Snelly is going to check to see if you did it magically.” Shane said, cutting me off. “He’ll never know that I did it.” He grinned, looking proud of himself.

 

Shane is…kind of adorable.

 

       “Well, thanks then!” I chirped, ripping my gloves off.

 

       I noticed that James was being extremely quiet despite the huge, amused grin on his face. Interesting. “Why are you so smiley?” I asked, starting to grin myself.

 

James just kind of had the smile that is infectious. You know when people say that when someone with a great laugh, laughs then everybody starts laughing also? Well, that’s what happens when James smiles. You can’t help but smile along with him.

 

“I am apparently not ‘allowed’ to talk to you.” He said, bursting out laughing, along with Apollo and Shane.

 

Confusion sucks, incase you were wondering.

 

       “Um, why?” I asked, curiously.

 

       “According to my dear, dear girlfriend,” James said sarcastically, still laughing, “I’m not allowed to converse or have any contact whatsoever with you because you ‘assaulted her’.” Apollo and Shane laughed even harder.

 

Raise your hand if you think that Alex is an insane, psycho freak.

 

Come on, let’s see those hands.

 

(Psssssttttt. Albert, this is your cue!)

 

Git.

 

       “So why are you talking to me if Alex told you not to?” I asked him, entertained by the situation.

 

       “You actually expect me to listen to her?” James snorted. “No one can take my Biter away from me.” He smiled, put his arm around my shoulders, and ruffled my hair in a childish way.

 

       DID YOU HEAR THAT!? He said no one could talk his Biter away from him! That’s me! And he touched me!

 

 Hells to the yes.

 

       I mean, sure he ruffled my hair, which pretty much shows that he meant it in a way that meant I was like his sister.

 

BUT STILL.

 

He touched me! 

 

 

       “Why did you dump flobberworms on her head, by the way?” Apollo questioned, after taking James’ arm off of me. He is such a bloody prude.

 

       “She was being a right bitch.” I answered, rolling my eyes. “Sorry.” I added, glancing at James. After all, she was his girlfriend.

 

Sigh.

 

       “Couldn’t agree with you more.” He smirked.

 

       I gaped at him. “Then why are you dating her!?” I said exasperated. He shrugged.

 

HE SHRUGGED?

 

This boy is mental.

 

So why do I still love him, you ask?

 

Search me.

 

       “So you honestly have no reason for dating such a horrible cow?” I said, trying to refrain from screaming at him.

 

       “I guess she’s pretty hot.” James responded, indifferently. Apollo and Shane looked as if they thought that this was a perfectly acceptable answer.

 

Typical.

 

These. Boys. Are. So. Bloody. FRUSTRATING.

 

If I didn’t hate Alex with every fiber of my being, I might possibly feel a little bit bad for her…Nope not even then. 

 

       “You, sir, are a git.” I said, and marched out of the classroom, my head held high, that is until I tripped over the leg of a desk and feel flat on my face.

 

Like I said, keeping it classy. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 













 

       “What are you doing?” Elle’s voice said, coming from behind me. I jumped in surprise, nearly hitting my head on a bookshelf.

 

       “What does it look like I’m doing?” I muttered, not taking my eyes off of what I was previously doing, which was spying on Athena. She was with a boy.

 

A bloke! An actual guy.

 

My sister was actually conversing with the opposite sex. And dare I say, she was…flirting?

 

       “It looks like you’re a mental, nutcase sitting on the filthy library floor, peering to the other side of the bookshelf.” Elle smirked.

 

Well, somebody was a little rude.

 

       “I am not a nutcase. I happen to by spying on my little sister! And will you keep your bleeding voice down, please!” I whispered harshly.

 

       Elle got down on her hands and knees next to me, and separated two books and looked through. “That’s your sister?” Elle asked incredulously.

 

       “Why so surprised?” I mumbled, craning my neck slightly to get a better view. Blasted backpack getting in my way.

 

       “Well, she’s studying, for one.” Elle pointed out.

 

       “Athena’s a Claw. What’d you expect? Her to actually be doing something fun?” I whispered, trying to refrain from laughter.

 

Hehe, Athena doing something fun. Oh I crack myself up.

 

       “She looks like she’s having plenty of fun to me.” Elle said quietly, raising her eyebrow.

 

Oh.

 

My.

 

Merlin.

 

Athena Minerva Price was playing FOOTSIE!

 

       “Holy bloody fuck.” I gasped. “Sorry.” I added, glancing at Elle. I mean, she was only a firstie. She shouldn’t be hearing words like that yet.

 

       “It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” Elle said, rolling her eyes.

 

       I turned my attention back to my sister and studied her mystery lover guy. He looked normal. He was actually, to be honest, kind of hot.

 

       He had short, dark brown hair that was spiked up in the front with caramel colored eyes. I could tell that he was a Ravenclaw because of his tie, and a fifth year, maybe? He was wearing a prefect’s badge, and I knew he wasn’t a sixth year or seventh year.

 

I should become a professional spy.

 

I’m serious.

 

I think it’s my calling.

      

“Hey Biter!” James’ voice greeted cheerfully. I glanced up and James was walking towards me, Apollo following behind him.

 

Shane poked his head around the corner. “Pricey’s here? In the library?” He said, shocked.

 

No need to sound so surprised.

 

I study occasionally.

 

       “Ro? What are you doing on the floor?” Apollo asked, rather loudly, bending down to see what I was looking at.

 

Honest to Merlin, these people are idiots. Can’t they see I’m trying to spy!?

 

       “Will you shut the bloody fuck up!?” I whispered angrily, pushing Apollo out of the way. “Athena’s with a boy!”

 

       “WHAT?!” Shane, Apollo, and James exclaimed in unison. Shane and James dove down on the floor next to Apollo and they all peeked through to the other side of the shelf.

      

       Athena remained completely oblivious to the five people watching her shamelessly. The boy’s hand was slowly inching toward her own.

 

       “He’s going to her hand!” Shane whispered excitedly. No shit, Sherlock.

 

       “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.” Elle mumbled, rolling her eyes.

 

This child can read minds, Albert! She also has a rather dirty mouth for an eleven year old.

 

       Shane, James, and Apollo’s heads popped up and looked over my head at the innocent looking first year watching my sister with interest.

 

       “Who’s that?” James asked, nodding in Elle’s direction.

 

       “She’s my friend.” I responded simply, not taking my eyes off of Athena.

 

       “Hey, I’m James Potter.” He introduced himself, giving his signature smirk, reaching over Apollo’s back and my back to shake her hand. She just stared at it.

 

       “You’re supposed to shake it.” James said awkwardly, still holding out his hand.

 

He is such a gentleman.

 

Swoon.

 

       “You’re a teenage boy. I have no clue where that thing has been.” Elle said, raising an eyebrow.

 

Well, damn.

 

       Shane, Apollo, and I choked back our laughter. “Eh, understandable.” James said, shrugging and retracted his hand.

 

       “I’m Shane.” Shane introduced himself. “And this insane, overprotective bloke is Apollo.” He said, patting Apollo’s back. My brother took no notice though. He was too busy scowling at Athena’s lover boy’s hand.

 

       “I have a feeling that their whole family is insane.” Elle giggled.

 

How rude.

 

My whole family wasn’t insane.

 

I mean, sure, Apollo might be a tad overprotective. And sure, I might be slightly different. And sure, Athena might be just a little too obsessed with school. And sure, Donny might be just a smidge…no, never mind, Donny is definitely insane.

 

The kid counts road kill. He also likes Celestina Warbeck. I mean, come on.

 

       I shot a glare in her direction before turning back to Athena. Oh shit monkeys.

 

HE. WAS. LEANING. IN.

 

       “Bloody fuck.” I gasped, as he kissed her lightly on the mouth. Apollo’s fists were clenched so tight that his knuckles were white.

 

       Athena smiled against his lips, and began to kiss him back gently. Apollo made a move to stand, muttering, “He’ll wish he’d never been born,” and something about castration, but I grabbed his arm.

 

       “Apollo, don’t. They’re barely even kissing!” I said, turning back to Athena.

 

Dear Merlin.

 

She really wasn’t doing much for her cause by full out snogging him and practically straddling him on his chair.

 

After Apollo saw that he actually did stand, and started making his way, angrily, to other side of the bookshelf. I grabbed his leg, but he kept walking, dragging me behind him.

 

The bastard was determined.

 

       “Apollo Price, I swear to Merlin, if you ruin this for her, I’ll tell Mum who actually spilled firewhiskey all over her favorite dress robes.” I threatened.

 

       He stopped.

 

Yeah, that’s right. BE AFRAID.

 

       “Ro, that was you.” He pointed out, reasonably. Elle giggled.

 

Oh damn, it was, wasn’t it?

 

       “Really? Are you sure?” I questioned, trying to get him to pause longer. He kept walking.

 

Dang.

 

       “I’ll tell Dad that you were the one that you were the one that snapped his wand three years ago!”

 

       “That was you too, Ro.” And he kept trudging on.

 

Bugger.

 

       I turned back to James, Shane, and Elle who were all wearing amused expressions. “Help meeeeeeeeeee!” I whined. Elle just laughed, shook her head, and walked out of the library.

 

Well, she was a load of help. I need to rethink my choice of First Year friends.

 

       Apollo stopped again, looked down at me, looked back at James and Shane, and raised an eyebrow. Before I even knew what was happening, I felt a pair of strong arms grab me from the back, around my waist, and pull me up.

 

       “No! Apollo don’t! Get off, Shane!” I exclaimed, and struggled to get out of his grip. It’s not as easy as it sounds, Albert. The bloke has the quidditch muscles on his side.

 

       Apollo had almost rounded the corner of the long aisle. Athena didn’t deserve to have her moment ruined so I did the only thing I could think of. I swung my leg back and kicked Shane right in between his legs. He doubled over in pain as I ran as fast as I could down the aisle, around the corner, and jumped on Apollo’s back right as he was about to reach Athena.

 

       “ARRRGGGHH!” Apollo yelled, his voice slightly muffled, considering the fact that my hand was taking up the majority of his face, but it was still loud enough that Athena looked up from snogging the snot out of her little boyfriend.

      

       Her face turned a rather interesting shade of red and her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her. That scene, you may ask, consisted of her older sister (me, incase you are a git and you forgot) on her elder brother’s back, legs tightly wrapped around his waist, one arm grabbing him around the neck, and the other pounding on his head repeatedly. The brother was trying to get her off of him while at the same time attempting to move forward to do some murder.

 

       It was quite an intriguing sight if you were a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter. If you were Athena, then, well, I guess it wasn’t as much intriguing as it was humiliating and confusing.

 

       “Mep.” Was Athena’s oh-so-eloquent response to her interruption, which for the record, was not my fault. I was trying to stop there from being Athena’s Lover Boy blood and guts all over the books that Rosie is so obsessed with.

      

       Then Athena fell off the chair she was practically sharing with her boyfriend, I guess? She is so graceful, my sister.

 

       “W-what are you d-doing here?” She stuttered. Her eyes were fearful as they looked back and forth between her boy toy (hehe, boy toy) and Apollo, who was glowering in his direction.

 

       Oh yeah, James was now holding back Apollo. After he laughed his arse off at Shane for good measure, he decided to be a good bloke and help me control my mental excuse for a brother. I was now standing off to the side grinning like a creeper at Athena’s snog mate.

 

Being a creeper is on of my many talents.

 

I picked up a few tips from Freddy and Louis.

 

       Athena’s lip locking partner had stood up by now and had his wand out in front of him, pointed defensively at Apollo. He looked like he was about to shit his pants. Merlin, Claws are such pansy arses.

 

       “Athena! Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend?” I asked excitedly, clapping and jumping up and down wildly. Yes, Albert, I am aware that I am possibly scaring this boy for life. I just can’t contain myself.

 

       “Because I knew you’d both act like this!” Athena cried. I stared at her with a puzzled look on my face. Apollo just continued glaring. “I knew Apollo would freak out and try to put him in a coma and I knew that you would act as if it was some sort of a miracle that I could even get a boy to look at me, let alone kiss me.” Athena’s eyes were starting to leak out tears.

 

Wow, way to make me feel like poo.

 

I honestly didn’t think that Athena could never get a guy. I mean, she is a beautiful girl. It’s just that I never thought that Athena wanted a boyfriend.

 

“Athena, I-“ I began, but she cut me off.

 

“Save it, Aphrodite.” Athena snapped. “Come on, Trent.” She said, wiping the fresh tears from her face, pulling his arm, and brushing past Apollo, James, Shane, who had managed to crawl over to us (honestly I didn’t kick him that hard), and me.

 

“Do you always have to flip out like that!?” I whined at Apollo after Athena had left the library.

 

“He had his hands all over her! What did you want me to do?” Apollo said, defensively.

 

Is it just me or is my brother a git? You think he is too, Albert?

 

Good.

 

       “I don’t know, let me think.” I said sardonically, throwing my arms up, exasperated. “Maybe you could not have acted like a complete and utter prat, and just have stopped watching and listened to me!”

 

He stared at me blankly. Moron.

 

        “But he had his hands all over her!” Apollo repeated.

 

Insert forehead slap.

 

       “I realize that, dipshit.” I said slowly, speaking to him as if he was a three year old. James smirked and Shane chuckled quietly. Apollo frowned. “She’s fourteen, almost fifteen, did you really think that she’d never get a boyfriend?”

 

       “No, this is Athena we are talking about. She barely even acknowledges that James is a bloke.” Apollo said reasonably.

 

I did have to agree with him there. How could you not acknowledge James Potter as nothing short of a god?

 

Blasphemy, I say, blasphemy!  

 

       “She is still a teenage girl. And though we might not show it like you blokes, shagging everything in sight, we have hormones too.”

 

James and Shane looked semi uncomfortable at my talk of girl hormones, but Apollo was looking at me with such confusion that you would have thought that I announced that my toes turned into plastic and I was getting hitched with the giant squid.

 

       “But you’re my baby sisters.” He said, as if that meant that we were going to live as prudes our entire life and never get laid.

 

       I almost felt kind of bad for how naïve he was. Yes, I am still a virgin, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not experienced in the snog department.

 

       I think Apollo thought that my first kiss was when I snogged that Slytherin bloke. And then I think that he believes that Riley was taking advantage of me that day in Three Broomsticks.

 

Poor bloke.

 

       “You are seriously starting to worry me, Apollo. Just because we are your little sisters that doesn’t mean that we are never going to have sex.”

 

       “It doesn’t?” He choked.

 

Insert second forehead slap.  

 

       Shane rolled his eyes, and James patted his shoulder sympathetically. “You can be really dumb, you know?” I told him, and unable to take any more of his stupidity, I strut past Apollo, who looked as if someone had just whacked his head repeatedly, and his friends, out of the library.

 

Should I feel bad?

 

I mean, I was just being honest.

 

He’ll get over it.

 

Right? RIGHT!?

 

Merlin, Albert, you are no help whatsoever. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 













 

A/N: Oh hi. So it is currently well past midnight and I am still up just to finish this for you guys so you can’t kill me for the wait. HA!

 

Okay first off, tiny weenie bit of James/Aphrodite?! Raise your hand if you were excited! No? Gah, you guys are party poopers. And how ‘bout Athena getting it on with an older Ravenclaw man?! *Wink, wink* How do you guys feel about that? And also raise your hands if you think that Apollo is slightly an idiot. Or do find it endearing that he is so naïve about Aphrodite? 

Also, if you are amazing enough to leave a review, what is your favorite quote/line? I would LOVE to know!

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BEAUTIFUL READERS!! :)
 


Chapter 6: Munchkin Slaves, Hunger, and Midnight Map Hunts
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Disclaimer: I own nothing.


 

Hilarious image by dream_BIG at TDA (:









       “What’s going on?” I asked as I entered the common room to see at least thirty people swarmed around the bulletin board where information was kept.

 

Nobody answered.

 

Bollocks.

 

       “Oi! Munchkins!” I yelled and about six first years turned around looking highly offended.

 

Well, at least they know their place.

 

       “What’s going on?” I repeated. Three of them shrugged, two just stood there, and only one spoke up.

 

       “I don’t know, Miss.” He squeaked, looking terrified.

 

Jeez, what a pansy. I’m not that scary, am I?

 

Don’t answer that, Albert.

 

I did like how this kid called me Miss though. It made me feel like an adult. Cool beans.

 

Yes, I just said cool beans.

 

Deal with it or suffer the consequences.

 

What are the consequences, you ask, Albert? Humiliation and DEATH.

 

Well, minus the death because that’s a bit extreme, don’t you think? Like that’s almost taking it too far. But seriously though. I’ll like paint your face green or some shit like that. Whatever it is, it will suck and you will be sad that you made fun of me. 

 

I apologize for that rant. I am having a weird day.

 

Don’t push me.

 

       “Well, find out.” I commanded lazily, rolled my eyes, and flopped into my favorite armchair.

 

       He nodded nervously, scurried off, and pushed his way through various people to get to the bulletin board.

 

Why weren’t the other first years as cool as Elle?

 

They should take lessons from her. Coolness lessons. Hmm.

 

I’ll bring it up to her. She could charge money.

 

I’d take them but I’m already awesome so what’s the point, I say?

 

That’s right, there isn’t one.

 

       “The first Hogsmeade’s weekend in two weeks, Miss.” The kid told me looking proud that he accomplished such a small task on his own.

 

What a git, but a decent worker, I suppose.

 

       “What’s your name?” I asked him.

 

       “Charlie Green, Miss.” He said, looking at me with his huge brown eyes.

 

Charlie was kind of adorable. Brown hair, brown eyes. And they were legit the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen.

 

These things were like fucking dinner plates.

 

Okay, they aren’t that big, but still, they’re huge.

 

Why am I even describing this to you?

 

What do you care? You won’t even let me meet your girlfriend. That’s right. I still haven’t forgotten about that.

 

Beat it.

 

       “Fetch me a snack from the kitchens will you, Charlie?” I yawned, closed my eyes, and got comfortable in the chair.

 

       “Of course, Miss!” He said eagerly.

 

This kid is like a servant.

 

A mental one, at that.

 

       I felt his presence leave me only to be returned a few moments later. “Where are the kitchens, Miss?” Charlie asked.

 

       “Figure it out.” I responded simply, and he left again.

 

       “Does anybody know where the kitchens are?” I heard him ask random people frantically. I grinned.

 

I love my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 












      

I hate my life.

 

       You know what I discovered recently? That going to bed hungry is physically impossible. For me, at least.

 

       Charlie never found the kitchens. Poor kid is probably still out looking for them. I guess I could tell him where they are, but who knows where the child is now.

 

       So because of not having a snack, I am starving. Not legit starving, but my stomach for real does sound like a bloody dinosaur. Damn thing won’t shut the fuck up.

 

       “Dommie!” I said in a low voice to the dark room. Everybody was sleeping.

 

       “Dom!” I mumbled again.

 

No answer.

 

Dang.

 

       I got out of bed and tiptoed over to her bed. “Doooooommmmmiiiiiiiieeeee. Psssssssstttttttt.” I whispered right next to her head. “Wake up.”

 

I poked her cheek.

 

Nothing.

 

I poked it again.

 

She swatted my hand away absentmindedly and her face contorted into an annoyed expression.

 

Beeyotch.

 

       “Dom! I’m hungry!” I whined.

 

She mumbled something that I couldn’t comprehend. I think I heard the words fuck off though.

 

How rude.

 

       “Come to the kitchens with me!” I begged.

 

       “Ask Rosie.” Dom said, tiredly and then covered her head with her pillow.

 

Well, I’ll take that as a no.

 

       “Don’t call me Rosie, Dominique.” Rose whispered annoyed. I was about to ask if she would go to the kitchens with me, but then she said, “No, I am not going with you, Pricey. We have class tomorrow.”

 

       I rolled my eyes. Of course she would put class before her best friend’s starvation. Typical Rose Weasley.

 

       “I hate you both.” I huffed.

 

No answer.

 

       “Do you at least know who has the marauder’s map?” I asked them.

 

       The marauder’s map is a magical map of the school that the Potter’s and Weasley’s passed amongst each other whenever they did midnight adventures. It was almost impossible to track down.

 

       “Lily had it last I think.” Rose murmured. “Now can you please go away?”

 

Well then.

 

I stuck my tongue out at her bed before I left the room.

 

       I opened the door marked 4th Year and stepped in quietly.

 

       “Lily?” I whispered, leaning over her bed where she was sprawled out sleeping peacefully.

 

I almost felt bad about waking her up, but then the dinosaur in my stomach growled again.

 

       “Lily?” I repeated a little louder and I shook her shoulders gently.

 

       She stirred, “Whhaaa?”

 

       “Do you have the marauders map?”

 

       Lily shook her head groggily. “Al,” Was all she said before closing her eyes again.

 

       “Thanks!” I said, and left the room, marched down the stairs, into the common room, and then entered the boy’s dormitory staircase.

 

       I have been in the boy’s 6th year dorm before, but I will never get used to the smell.

 

It was a mixture of boy sweat, which they called ‘man stink’, and farts.

 

You know what is really funny? Rosie calls farts, bummy burps. I smacked her across the face when I first heard her use the term.

 

She deserved it.

 

But overall, the smell wasn’t exactly pleasant.

 

       I saw a black haired boy sleeping in the first bed. I shook him roughly. I was getting rather impatient and I just wanted my freaking food. “Al! Wake up! Al! Wake up, dammit!” I commanded, and continued shaking him.

 

       “I’m not, Al! Back off, crazy woman!” The person yelled.

 

Crap.

 

       “Shit, sorry, Eli!” I apologized quickly, and stepped back quickly, falling over somebody’s trunk lying open on the ground. I fell on my back, loudly with a thud. My hand was touching something. I lifted whatever it was up.

 

Somebody’s used boxers.

 

       I screamed and threw them. They hit a bemused Eli in the face.

 

       This woke everybody in the dorm up.

 

I cause quite the scene, don’t I?

 

       “What the fuck is going on?” Somebody asked groggily.

 

       “Why is there a girl in the dorm?” Ryan Walters asked after Eli turned on the lights.

 

       “Aphrodite?” Al said, sitting up in the bed on the far right. “What are you doing here?” His voice was highly confused, as he reached for his glasses.

 

       “Baking a fucking cake.” I said sarcastically.

 

I know he doesn’t deserve my witty remarks, Albert, but by this point I am just highly impatient.

 

       “Do you have the map?” I asked him, getting up with the help of Eli, clad only in sweatpants.

 

Bloke has a good body.

 

       “James has it.” Al said, flopping down on his bed, closing his eyes, and flicking off the lights.

 

James.

 

Less than three.

 

       “Thanks! Night guys!” I bid a suddenly cheerful farewell.

 

       I ran up the stairs, and opened the door that read 7th Year.

 

Riley was curled up into a tight ball in the bed closet to me.

 

Apollo was snoring loudly in the next bed over.

 

Shane was drooling on his pillow next to Apollo’s bed.

 

Then I saw James’ bed where he was sleeping, looking like nothing short of perfection. His messy black hair was sticking up in every direction making him look thirty times as sexy. He slept without a shirt on.

 

Have you ever seen James Potter without a shirt on?

 

If not, then, well, you are missing out, my friend.

 

I know I already described his body for you earlier, Albert, but let me reiterate the fact that, He. Is. Bloody. Gorgeous.

 

I walked over slowly, trying not to make any noise, and I tripped over somebody’s broomstick lying on the floor.

 

You know, the floor really isn’t a good place to put a broomstick. Just thought I’d throw that in there.

 

I slammed into one of the four posts of James’ bed, effectively making me fall to the ground, which including falling on somebody’s cauldron. That included making a very loud clang and some extremely large bruises that would most definitely show up later in the week.

 

“What in the name of Merlin-“ Riley said rubbing his eyes, tiredly.

 

“Five more minutes, Apollo.” Shane mumbled groggily.

 

Git.

 

        “Holy fuck! Are we under attack? Is Voldemort back! I’ll kill the bastard!” Apollo screamed, grabbing his novelty rubber duck lamp and holding it above his head as if it was a murder weapon.

 

Am I seriously related to this person? If so, just avada kedavra me now please and quickly. I’d truly appreciate it.

 

       James, the sensible and smart one, turned on the lights. “Biter? What are you doing here?”

 

Does anybody feel a strong sense of Déjà vu right now? Cause I’m pretty sure this almost exact scene happened a few minutes ago.

 

       You know, me falling/tripping over something, waking up the whole room, and then a Potter says What are you doing here?.

 

I hate my life.

 

       “Ro? Why are you still up? You should be in bed.” Apollo said disapprovingly, putting down his duck lamp.

 

He honestly treats me like I’m five.

 

       “Pricey, I hate you so much right now.”  Shane groaned.

 

Let’s just say that he is not the most pleasant person when he’s tired.

 

       “Love you too, Shane.” I grinned, sat down on his bed, and began bouncing up and down obnoxiously.

 

       “Apollo, can I murder your sister? Please?” He begged, but the corner of his mouth was unfurling into a smile.

 

He loves me.

 

Like a sister, of course.

 

But he still loves me.

 

       “Hey Pricey.” Riley greeted. “Nice PJ’s.” He winked.

 

       I was wearing a tee shirt with the collar cut off that was of some muggle restaurant called Hooters and boxers with little golden snitches all over them.

 

       I grinned. Well, I did until Apollo chucked his pillow at Riley so hard that he hit his head against his headboard.

 

       Riley muttered a string of profanities under his breath and rubbed the back of his head.

 

Poor kid, but he should seriously know better than to flirt with me in front of my brother, especially when he’s already caught us snogging.

 

       “Seriously though, Ro, what are you doing here? Is something wrong? Did you have a nightmare?” Apollo asked worriedly.

 

       I rolled my eyes. “Stop acting like Mum. I’m not two years old.”

 

       “Then why are you in our dorm?” He questioned.

 

       “I’m hungry and I want to go to the kitchens, but I need the map, and Al said that James had it.”

 

       “Freddy and Louis borrowed in last night.” James told me while stretching.

 

Bollocks.

 

       I groaned and hit my head against the post of Shane’s bed in frustration, which hurt, by the way.

 

       “Why don’t you just go without the map?” James suggested.

 

       “Because I already have had three detentions this week and if I get one more than McGonagall is going to have to write home. So I can’t risk getting caught.”

 

       James nodded understandingly. “Why don’t you just wait until breakfast?” Apollo said.

 

       I gaped at him. “Do you not hear this thing?!” And right on cue, my stomach growled loudly. Apollo laughed.

 

Prat.

 

       “Well, if you want the map, then you have to get it from Fred and Louis.” James said sympathetically.

 

       “I know.” I sighed.

 

       “If your cousins rape her, I’m murdering them.” I heard Apollo say as I left the room. I descended the steps. I stopped in front of the 5th Year door.

 

Shit.

 

       I hesitantly pushed open the door, and stepped inside. I found Louis first sleeping with some random brunette next to him. Fred was in the bed beside them with a blonde.

 

Spectacular.

 

       “Oi, Louis, Fred.” I whispered, poking each of them at the same time. I said their names again and poked them rougher when they didn’t wake. Still nothing.

 

       “Oh look! A leggy slag with a large chest!” I said, and both boys popped up immediately.

 

       “Where!?” They said excitedly in unison.

 

For Merlin’s sake.

 

       The boys saw me standing there, and identical smirks formed on their faces.

      

       “Leggy.” Louis nodded. 

 

       “And a large chest.” Fred said, appreciatively. I glared at him.

 

       “But not a slag.” Louis sighed.

 

       “How sad. But I’m always up for a challenge.” Fred grinned.

 

Where did Mr. Fang, Frenchie, Holey, and Mrs. Holey go wrong?

 

       “Why, lovely Pricey, may I ask, are you in our dorm at this late hour? Finally fancy a nice shag?” Louis asked, and winked.

 

“We could do a three-way, well five-way if we include them.” Fred suggested.

 

I shuddered. “You two seriously disgust me an unfathomable amount. I’m here for the map.”

 

“Why do you need the map?”

 

“I want to go to the kitchens. Do you have it or not?” I said shortly.

 

“We have it. But we each want a proper snog before we give it to you.” Fred negotiated.

 

I just threw up a little bit.

 

The boys are honestly so sick in the head.

 

       “You seriously think I would snog you just to get the map? Fuck off. You’re mental. I’m not some bimbo prostitute.” I said offended.

 

       “Knew that wouldn’t work.” Fred sighed disappointed.

 

       “Well, if you won’t snog us then we’re coming with you. Take it or leave it.” Louis said, getting out of bed, sliding a pair of sweats over his boxers. Freddy did the same. Both remained without a shirt.

 

Why do all teenage blokes with good bodies sleep shirtless?

 

It’s quite frustrating, especially for a teenage girl with hormones that keeps trying desperately not to stare.

 

       “Fine. But what about your slags?” I said, motioning towards the girls in their beds.

 

       “Leave them.” Louis said, shrugging carelessly.

 

How sweet.

 

Please note that extreme case of sarcasm, Albert. 

 

       “Okay, let’s go.” Fred said, pulling the marauders map out of his bedside drawer.

 

       We walked out of the portrait hole, the Fat Lady scolding us for being out at this time, and Fred put his arm around my waist. Louis put his around my shoulders.

 

       “Get off of me.” I said, irritated and tried to shake them off.

 

       “Ah, ah, ah,” Fred said disapprovingly. “Do you want us to take you or not?”

 

       “I don’t want you to take me at all! I just want the bloody map!” I complained.

 

       “Well, looks like somebody is shit out of luck, doesn’t it? This map is for Wotters only. And unless you marry James than you are unfortunately not a Wotter.” Louis said.

 

I froze.

 

       “Why did you say James? Why did you pick James out of all of your male cousins including yourselves?” I asked, panicked.

 

I mean, maybe I’m overreacting, but why did he say James? Do they know something? No. They couldn’t possibly know anything. The only people that know are Rose and Dom. Right? Right. I’m just overreacting.

 

       “Oh please. We’ve known for years about your crush on dear cousin Jamesie. It’s so obvious.” Fred laughed.

 

Poop.

 

Obvious? How had I been obvious these past years? I guess, sure in the beginning I acted really weird around him, but that could just be mistaken for my everyday weird! I thought I had been really good recently.

      

       All I know is that it is not a good thing whatsoever that Fred and Louis knew. So I knew what I had to do. Deny. Deny. Deny.

 

       “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said, slightly shakily, and started forward again after successfully removing their hands from my body.

 

       “Don’t lie to us, Pricey. Despite what you might think, we’re not stupid. We notice every time you think that nobody is looking and you glance at him, and how you always flinch whenever you see him with his arm around another girl. Or how you always blush whenever he smiles at you.” Louis said, him and Fred catching up with me.

 

       I was trying my best not to cry, and I’m not even sure why. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I repeated, and my voice broke.

 

I hate the fact that I get upset so easily. I think I get it from my mother. She cries if she sees a stray puppy walking alone in the streets, but then again so do I.

 

       Fred and Louis both wrapped their arms around my waists and shoulders. This time the move wasn’t perverted or annoying though. It was sweet and sympathetic.

 

       “We want to help you get with him.” Louis stated.

 

It surprised me so much that I literally choked on my own spit.

 

       After I finish coughing like a manic, I managed to choke out, “Why?”

 

       “Well, even though I want you for myself, you and James would be good together. You are much better than any of the blonde twits he’s dated before and you’re loads better than that Alex cow. You have a personality that is perfectly suited for a guy like James. And you love quidditch, which is a plus. You two belong together even if he doesn’t know it yet.” Fred said.

 

That’s when I burst into tears like the spastic child that I am.

 

       They rubbed my back reassuringly. “Shhh, Merlin you are a loud crier. Twice as loud as Lucy when a guy breaks up with her.”

 

       “Not as loud as Tory when she’s on her period though.” Louis said, cringing slightly.

 

       “Or as loud as Rose when Malfoy pisses her off.” Fred grinned.

 

       I laughed through my tears. “You know, when you guys aren’t being perverted gits, you’re actually sort of funny.” I said, and rested my head against Freddy’s shoulder as we walked.

 

Maybe they aren’t so bad after all.

 

Well, sometimes, at least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 












 

A/N: Oh hello. So I feel like I got this done very fast. You should be proud. I wrote it all in one night so that’s why it sort of sucks. I stayed up until 3 in the morning and my eyes were literally shutting as I wrote. I hope you liked it though even though it was kinda just a filler chapter.

 

I have a new story, by the way! Pretty much anybody that reviewed one the last chapter got an advertisement of it. I apologize for that. I’m just excited about it. It’s called Raine to Snow. It’s an Al/OC and it has the same type of humor as this story. If you get the chance, you should check it out!

 

Thank you for anybody that left me a review last time. I thought all of your opinions on your favorite quotes were funny and I enjoyed reading them. So any favorite quotes for this chapter? And do you guys like Fred or Louis or do you think that they are creepy weirdoes? I’m kind of in between myself. And what did you think of their take on Aphrodite/James? I’d love to know!! 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Chapter 7: Finnigan Boys, Wotter Family Meetings, and Demonic Cats
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Disclaimer: I own nothing.



 

 

 






 

“James! Al! Stop! Please, stop!” I heard Lily screeching as I entered the common room.

 

Oh dear Merlin. This cannot be good.

 

       Usually cool, calm, and collected Al had his wand pointing straight at Aidan Finnigan in a very threatening manner. His black hair was even more messed up than normal, sticking in a fifty different directions. His face was bright red in anger.

 

       James was no better. He was being held back by Shane, who looked completely amused by the situation, but he was certainly putting up quite the fight. His hair was even worse than Al’s. His fists were clenched, and even his eyes were seething.

 

Could he be any hotter?!

 

The answer is no, Albert. I mean, just look at him.

 

So. Flipping. Sexy.

 

Oh shut it, Albert. I’m allowed to think the guy I’m in love with is sexy.

 

You probably think your girlfriend is sexy. That I’m still not allowed to meet.

 

I. Hate. You.

 

I bet your girlfriend is a cow. She probably has no friends and is really mean, and nobody likes her. Plus, she probably likes to make you massage her feet, which stink.

 

Ha. Take that.

 

       Lily was pleading with her brothers to leave her boyfriend alone, while tears streamed down her face relentlessly. Other Gryffindors were either watching in amusement or pity.

 

       The other Weasleys were standing around nearby. Fred, Louis, and Hugo were glaring maliciously at Aidan, but decided to leave Al and James the job of murdering him.

 

Aidan looked simply terrified. Hell, I probably would be too.

 

       Roxanne was trying and failing to comfort Lily. Rose and Dom were studying in the library, and Lucy was probably off doing something more boring than Herbology with Athena. Looks like this is up to me to deal with.

 

Merlin. Do I ever have a normal day?

 

No, Albert, I don’t.

 

Why?

 

Because I’m surrounded by complete loons.

 

Yes, I did just use the word loons.

 

Deal with it.

 

       “Alright, what happened?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, and putting my hands on my hips.

 

Nobody answered. They just kept glaring, crying, and practically shitting their pants in fear.

 

Why does nobody ever answer my questions? Honestly, how hard is it just answer somebody?

 

That’s right, not hard at all.

 

       “I said, what happened?” I growled impatiently, and kicked James in the shin.

 

Don’t look at me like that!

 

I’m just trying to help!

 

       “They were fucking on the couch.” James grunted in a mixture of pain, annoyance, and anger.

 

Fucking on the couch? That doesn’t sound like Lily.

 

But for all I know, Lily could be some kind sex crazed bint that likes shagging people in public.

 

But somehow I doubt that…

 

       “For Merlin’s sake, James! We were only kissing!” Lily cried.

 

       “Same difference.” Al grumbled under his breath.

 

Um?

 

       “Well, that sucks because it looks as if I lost my virginity loads of times.” I said sardonically, rolling my eyes.

 

Apollo’s eyes widened and he made a noise that I decided to ignore. He’s an idiot.

 

Like seriously, bloke is crazy.

 

       “Hey, what’s going on?” Riley asked, brows furrowed, when he saw his brother being held at wand point.

 

       “What’s with you Finnigan boys and fucking our sisters!” Apollo exclaimed, outraged as soon as he saw Riley.

 

Oh Merlin.

 

Like I said, bloke is crazy.

 

       “Apollo, Riley and I never shagged,” I rolled my eyes again. “And I’m sure Aidan and Lily didn’t either!” I added on, turning to James and Al. Lily and Aidan both nodded their head vigorously in agreement to my words.

 

       “And even if I did, which I didn’t, and even if they did, which they didn’t, it would be no ones business but our own. So butt out.” I said, lowering Al’s arm that was holding his wand.

 

He glared at me.

 

Well, somebody is a little bit grumpy.

 

       “It is so our business!” James said indignantly.

 

       “It is not!” Lily and I said in unison.

 

       “Is too!” Apollo exclaimed.

 

       “Is not!”

 

       “Is too!”

 

       “Is not!”

 

Let’s just say that this went on for a while. Aidan and Riley just watched in amusement.

 

“Is too!”

 

       “Is not!”

 

       “Is not!”

 

       “Is too!” I yelled, and Apollo and James smirked triumphantly. Lily smacked me on the arm.

 

I always fall for that.

 

       “Fuck you.” I grumbled.

 

       “I know you want to, love, but I don’t believe in incest.” Apollo grinned.

 

I punched his arm.

 

He laughed.

 

I need to get some muscles.

 

I am going to be one of those chicks with huge arse muscles. And be like, “I am woman, hear me SMASH!”

 

And then I’m going to stomp on some shit.

 

It. Will. Be. Epic.

 

       “But seriously guys, why are you pissed at Aidan?” Riley asked, curiously.

 

The male faces turned into dark scowls.

 

I had them all distracted and he ruined it.

 

Go die in a hole, Riley, go die in a hole.

 

Now would be just grand.

 

Please?

 

Shit.

 

I hate people. Why can’t they ever do what my mind asks?

 

Why? WHY!

 



 

I am not sane.

 

       “He’s my boyfriend.” Lily said, looking at Aidan with loving eyes. Aidan’s brown eyes softened immediately, and looked unafraid as she said the words.

 

So cute.

 

Seriously, looking at that just makes me want to be a better person. Pure adorableness of younglings in love.

 

       James, Al, Fred, Louis, and Hugo all made retching sounds.

 

Moment ruined.

 

Thanks guys.

 

       I smacked Al on the top of his head, just because he was the closest of the immature boys. They all shut up. I smirked.

 

       “Aw, wittle Aidy final got himself a girlfriend!” Riley cooed pinching Aidan cheeks.

 

Hehe, Aidy.

 

Humiliating nicknames are boss.

 



 

When they are being used on other people.

 

       “Shut up.” Aidan said, and playfully punched his brother in the stomach.

 

       “He was your boyfriend, Lily.” Al corrected.

 

“Excuse me?” She said, raising her eyebrow in a challenging manner.

 

Oh shit.       

 

       “We don’t want you seeing him anymore.” James said with authority, folding his arms across his chest.

 

Merlin, he looks like my father.

 

Wait. Does that mean I’m attracted to my father?

 

Barf in my head. No.

 

       Lily burst out laughing. Like insane, hysterical laughter. She was clutching her stomach, and tears were practically streaming out of her eyes.

 

I personally don’t think that she’s quite right in the head if you know what I mean.

 

(She’s mental) Got it? Good.

 

       “What make you think that you have any say whatsoever in who I date?” Lily said between laughter.

 

Girl had a point.

 

       “We’ll write Dad.” Al threatened. James smirked.

 

Blokes had a better point.

 

Harry Potter would not be happy at all to find out that his baby girl had a boyfriend.

 

Hell, who would be?

 

       “I’ll write Mum.” Lily said, lips unfurling into a smirk identical to James’.

 

Awww shit. She got him there.

 

Her brother’s faces fell instantly.

 

Damn, this is better than cable.

 

       “You would never write Mum.” James squeaked, unable to regain composure.

 

Hehe he squeaked.

 

It’s awesome how a 6 ft 2” man can sound exactly like a mouse.

 

The world is an amazing place, it really is.

 

       “Try me.” Lily challenged, putting her hands on her hips, and glaring at James and Al.

 

They visibly flinched.

 

Mind blown.

 

I have a new found respect for Lily Potter.

 

       She grabbed Aidan’s shirt and exited the Portrait Hole.

 

Well, fuck.

 

And that’s when I burst into laughter at James and Al. “You guys suck.” I giggled, ruffled their hair, and then skipped out of the Portrait Hole ready to congratulate Lily and shower her with praise on a job well done.

 

 






 

       “Ow, get off me!”

 

       “Bitch, I will cut you.”

 

“Get your feet out of my face!”

      

“Fuck you!”

 

“Your breath smells like sausage and arse!”

 

Oh it’s always a lovely time at the Wotter family meetings.

 

The one problem with them?

 

They are held in a fucking broom closet.

 

Gits.

 

I suppose they originally started when it was just Victoire and Professor Lupin even though Teddy isn’t even technically a Wotter. The two probably came in here to snog.

 

Puke my guts out.

      

       Then, as more Wotters started to come to Hogwarts the prats just decided to keep the same location. Honestly, does it really matter that much to ‘keep the tradition alive’? We’d all be way more comfortable in the Room of Requirement or the kitchens or pretty much anywhere other than here.

 

I’d rather be in the stomach of a hippogriff.

 

It would be all warm and cozy. And bloody… And gutsy…

 

Never mind.

 

       I get invited to the Wotter secret family meetings because when I found out about them, I pulled on Al’s ear until he let me come along. Kid was never good at keeping secrets. Now they invite me to every single one.

 

I’m good at threatening people.

 

It’s a gift.

 

       “Where the hell is Teddy? He’s the one that called the bloody meeting.” Lucy mumbled.

 

I swear, this child is never happy.

 

Honestly, every time I see her, she’s pissy. Constant PMS.

 

       “Will you put a smile on your face for once, Luce?” Lily muttered, rolling her eyes.

 

       “Yeah, Teddy seemed really excited when he told us about the meeting in class today.” Rose said.

 

That was true. The man looked like he was about to piss his pants. It was actually kid of scary.

 

       “I bet he found a nickel on the floor. He gets excited over the stupidest shit.” Lucy said.

 

I should just take her place in this family. They would all be so much happier with me.

 

       “Who invited her?” Fred asked no one in particular. The other Wotters grumbled in agreement.

 

That’s what I’m trying to say.

 

       “Why are you sitting in between Fred and Louis, Eggs?” Dom questioned suddenly.

 

It was an understandable question. I mean, just last week they repulsed me, and I was afraid they were going to rape me.

 

Now we tight, yo.

 

Oh Merlin. I should really just stop think-talking. I’m honestly scarring myself.

 

       “Freddy and Lou are maa boys!” I exclaimed, put my arms around theirs shoulders, and ruffled their hair.

 

       “Since when?” Roxanne asked.

 

I was about to answer when Louis said, “Since she finally agreed to shag us.” I punched his arm. He smirked. Fred was okay in the manners department, but I’m still working on Louis.

 

“Disgusting.” Al muttered, covering his ears.

 

“My best friend!” Dom and Rose shrieked.

 

“I may barf.” Lily mumbled.

 

“Nice!” Hugo commended, high-fiving Louis and Fred.

“Slut.” Lucy sneered.

 

“I really do not need to know these things.” Roxanne said shaking her head.

 

James just frowned.

 

“You are so full of shit, Louis!” I yelled, and elbowed him in the stomach. He grunted.

 

Score!

 

I actually caused someone physical pain! I should perfect my elbowing skills.

 

I will be unstoppable.

 

Unstoppable, I say!

 

       “How could you have sex with my baby brother and cousin, and not tell me!?” Dom shrieked angrily.

 

My best friend is an idiot.

 

       “I didn’t shag them, you bint!” I exclaimed defensively, and kicked her leg. “Do you really think that I’d stoop that low?” Dom looked relieved.

 

       “HEY!” Fred and Louis shouted.

 

People should really stop yelling in this blasted broom closet.

 

Fucking blowing out my eardrums.

 

       “Oh you know I love you two!” I cooed, and leaned into them both more.

 

       “I still think she shagged them.” Lucy said in a low voice.

 

I will smack this bitch.

 

       “What the fuck is your problem?” I asked, bluntly and angrily.

 

       Lucy just rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. Athena seriously deserves a better best friend. Preferably one that is not a cold-hearted bitch.

 

That would be dandy.

 

       Just then the door opened and Teddy walked in looking out of breath. “Finally!” Almost everyone yelled.

 

       “Sorry I’m late! I was with Tory.” Teddy said, between breaths. His face flushed with emotion when he said his fiancé’s name.

 

       “What did you want to tell-“

 

       “She’s pregnant!” Teddy exclaimed, unable to control his excitement.

 

Silence.

 

       And then of course Fred was the one to break it. “With a baby?”

 

No, with a toaster. Moron.

 

       “Why didn’t that bitch tell me?” Dom complained.

 

       “Whop-dee-do.” Lucy said boredly. 

 

       “You impregnated my sister!?” Louis growled. 

 

       “Can I baby-sit?” Lily asked, excitedly.

 

“Way to get it done, Mate!” James said, patting Teddy’s shoulder.

 

“Nice!” Hugo congratulated. Well, that just seems to be his phrase of the day, doesn’t it?

 

“Before you’re married?” Al said, laughing. “Good luck with Uncle Bill.”

 

Ooooh. Al has a point. Mr. Fang won’t be too happy!

 

       “Shit.” Teddy said, eyes wide.

 

       “You’re screwed.” I laughed.

 

       “Do you really think he’ll be mad?” He asked, all color draining from his face.

 

       “You got his first born daughter pregnant with a bastard child.” James said. “He’s going to kill you.”

 

       “But won’t he be happy about being a grandpa?” Teddy asked hopefully.

 

       “Would you be happy about being a grandpa in your mid fifties?” Fred laughed.

 

       “I’m going to die.” Teddy stated, crestfallen.

 

Poor bloke.

      

       “I can’t believe you and Tory had sex!” Louis said disgusted.

 

For the love of Merlin.

 

I literally just found him the other day sleeping with some girl and he gets grossed out that his twenty two year old sister had sex with her fiancé.

 

What a tosser.

 

       “Louis, we’ve been having sex since we were in school.” Teddy said tiredly, and rolled his eyes.

 

 

Vomit. That’s my professor saying that.

 

Granted, I’ve seen him get out of the shower with just a towel on at the Weasley’s house.

 

It was one of the greatest moments of my life, but that’s beside the point.

 

       “I’ll kill you.” Louis said darkly.

 

Does anybody else think that that’s a wee bit over dramatic?

 

Just saying.

 

       Dom burst out laughing. “Louis, you’re 5 ft 8” and have blonde hair and blue eyes. I don’t think he’s scared of you.” She giggled.

 

Look at Dommy making sense!

 

Louis grumbled an unintelligible sentence that I couldn’t make out.

 

       “When did you guys find out that Tory is pregnant?” Hugo asked.

 

       “Yesterday morning. She kept throwing up and having all of these weird cravings. We knew that something was up.” Teddy said beaming.

 

If I ever have kids, I wish I could just skip the whole pregnancy shit and just go right to popping those suckers out. Like honestly, being the size of a whale and craving ice cream with pickles is not my forte. But then again, if I was pregnant with James’ kid I’d be cool with it.

 

I can totally see our family now. Six kids because, let’s face it, we can’t keep our hands off each other.

 

The order will be: Boy. Boy. Girl. Boy. Girl. Girl.

 

The eldest boy would be a bad arse, and constantly get in trouble with teachers, but we’ll be okay with it because it will be funny.

 

The next oldest boy will be really good at quidditch. He will be the star of the Gryffindor team and have all the girls chasing after him.

 

The eldest girl will be uber smart. Like genius level, but not boring as fuck like Athena. She’ll be awesome and use her smarts to piss off teachers because I’ll raise her to be cool like that.

 

The youngest boy will be a little sweetheart, but really shy. A lot of girls will want him because he’s so nice to everybody. He’ll only have one girlfriend though because that’s the kind of guy he is. A one-girl kind of guy.

 

The last two girls are twins. Exactly the same in everyway. I’ll mix them up constantly because I’m shit with names and faces, but they could never trick James because he’d be a smart and wonderful father.

 

Basically, our family would be perfect and totally kick arse.

 

It’s okay to be jealous, Albert. I understand that your family will never be awesome like mine.

 

       “Are you still going to like her when she’s fat?” Louis asked Teddy. “Are you going to be there for her when she has to pee every five seconds? Or when she starts losing her sex drive? Or when-“

 

       “Oh my Merlin, Louis, shut the fuck up! Of course Teddy will be there for Tory! Stop playing the big brother role even though you’re seven years younger than her!” Dom said, whacking her brother upside the head.

 

He yelped. Freak.

 

       “What was that, Mrs. Norris? Rotten children out of bed?” Mr. Filch’s raspy voice came out of nowhere.

 

Well, we’re fucked.

 

Filch and his old, decrepit cat, Mrs. Norris Jr, were the worse thing that could happen to you if you were out after curfew.

 

Now you may think that having Teddy with us would save us, but you’d be dead wrong. Filch once threatened to kill Teddy with a broom. I swear, the bloke almost shit his pants.

 

Understandable.

 

       “Shit! I’ll try and hold him off. I hope one of you guys has the invisibility cloak!” Teddy exclaimed, standing up very quickly and exiting the broom closet without another word.

 

Well, he was a load of help.

 

       “I can’t get another detention!”

 

       “Dibs on the clock!”

 

       “Where’s the map?”

      

       “Everybody be quiet!” I whispered harshly. I was ignored.

 

       “We’re going to die!”

 

       “I’m not getting my first detention ever for some dumb family meeting!”

 

       “Fuck this shit!”

 

       “WILL EVERYONE SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!” I shouted. Silence ensued.

 

That’s what I thought.

 

       “Who has the map?” I asked and Hugo handed it to me. “Right. Now who has the cloak?” Al gave me the cloak.

 

       “Okay so here’s the plan. Lily, Hugo, Lucy, and Roxy will all go underneath the cloak because they’re tiny. Rose, you go with Fred and Louis. You’re a prefect so you can just say that you were on patrol and you caught them out of bed. No one will question you hopefully. James, Dom, Al, and I will take the map.” I said, everyone nodded understanding what they were doing.

 

       “Alright, the cloak people you guys go first. Hopefully Teddy managed to distract Filch. Go!” I said with authority, threw the cloak over top of them, pushed them out the door, and then closed it again.

 

I love having power, I really do.

 

       “Okay, you three go next.” I looked down at the map. It looked as if Filch and Teddy were arguing in a corridor a little ways away. Lily, Hugo, Roxanne, and Lucy were almost to the Ravenclaw tower to drop Lucy off.

 

       I shoved Rose, Louis, and Fred out the door, and studied the map. Everything was going according to plan.

 

I should seriously be a secret agent. I’d be boss at that shit.

 

       “Alright, the coast is clear. Let’s go!” I said, after peeking out the door.

 

       “Why do I get the feeling that you do this very often?” James laughed, following me out.

 

       “I get bored at night. Sleeping is only fun during the day.” I grinned.

 

We were about half way back to the Gryffindor tower when all hell broke loose. I looked down at the map, and practically shit my pants. Mrs. Norris Jr was at the head of the corridor that we were going down. Filch was at the end of it. We were trapped.

 

You know, death by Filch really isn’t how I wanted to leave the world.

 

       “What’s wrong?” Al asked, when he saw that I was frozen in fear. He glanced down at the map. “EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!” He yelled, grabbed the map, and ran away.

 

Dom, James, and I watched him run for about three seconds before each running like crazy people in different directions ourselves.

 

I decided to run towards Mrs. Norris Jr. I mean, I’d rather get my eyes scratched out than to be hung by my toes from the astronomy tower by Filch.

 

Wouldn’t you?

 

       Mrs. Norris attacked my feet as I ran by. “Aaagghhh!” I yelled as I fell to the ground.

 

The demonic animal was hissing evilly, scratching, and clawing at my legs and feet. I should have chosen Filch! I should have chosen Filch!

 

Oh my Merlin. Albert, save me! SAVE ME!

 

You are no help! Useless piece of shit.

 

The thing was climbing up my body. Drawing blood as it dug its nails into my skin. I tried to detach it, but she was just too strong.

 

It is really sad when a cat is stronger than you are.

 

I am an utterly pathetic person, I really am.

 

       I was screaming by the time the cat reached my face. She lifted up her paw to take a swipe. I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for the attack that never came.

 

I heard Mrs. Norris meowing and snarling loudly. I cracked open an eye, and saw Noah Davies wrestling with the beast.

 

He was trying to hold it as far away from his as possible as he ran to the nearest broom closet and threw it in. Noah slammed the door shut and began panting loudly.

 

       “Are you okay?” Noah asked, as he helped me off the floor.

 

My clothes had rips, tears, and holes everywhere. I was bleeding from every single scratch that that monstrosity of an animal created. And my hair looks like a birds nest.

 

In short, I looked bloody marvelous.

 

Don’t you just love sarcasm, Albert?

 

I do. It’s just fucking fantastic.

 

       “I guess.” I said shakily. “Thank you, by the way.”

 

       “Don’t mention it.” He said. “What are you even doing out at this time? It’s past curfew.”

 

Shit. Well, I couldn’t tell him that I had been at a secret Wotter meeting, now could I?

 

       I decided to go for the counter attack. “What are you doing out?” I questioned.

 

Oooh ouch. Gotcha there.

 

       “I’m patrolling.”

 

Poop.

 

       My eyes widened. “You aren’t going to tell on me, are you? I just got attack by that fucking mental animal. I think that’s punishment enough, don’t you? Please, don’t report me!” I begged.

 

I was about ready to get down on my hands and knees and grovel. I could not get another detention.

 

He laughed. He bloody laughed.

 

Jerk.

 

       “I won’t turn you in on one condition.” Noah told me, lips quirked up into a smile.

 

And that is??

 

       I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. If he says shag him, I swear to Merlin, I will kick him in his man business so hard that his chance of ever conceiving children will fly straight out the window.

 

       “Go to Hogsmeade with me.” He said, grinning, looking hopeful.

 

Tempting offer, Albert.

 

I mean, I could go with him. I didn’t have a date yet, and Dommy was going with some Puff, Rose was probably going to study, and I think Al was going with Freddy and Louis.

 

The only problem was, James, Apollo, and basically my whole quidditch team hate Noah. Like absolutely despise him. It would have to be a secret. Hmm. Secret date. That could be interesting.

 

       “Meet me outside my common room at eleven?” I said, smiling widely. He nodded eagerly.

 

       I turned and started walking/limping back to Gryffindor tower. “Don’t get attacked by any more satanic cats!” Noah called. I winked at him before turning the corner.

 

Saturday should be fun.

 

Right?

 

 






 

       “What the fuck happened to you?!” Dom asked, as I entered the Portrait Hole.

 

       “Got attacked by Mrs. Norris.” I grunted, as the boys helped me into a chair.

 

       “Rotten luck.” James said.

 

       “No shit, Sherlock.” I said, rolling my eyes.

 

       “Here, I’ll heal you, Pricey.” Rose said, helpfully, walking over to me with her wand out, but Louis pushed her away.

 

       “No, we have it.” He said, him and Fred pulling out their own wands.

 

I looked up at them with confused eyes.

 

They couldn’t heal for shit.

 

       “Yeah, you guys go up to bed. We have to talk to Pricey about something important.” Freddy said.

 

Everybody looked extremely reluctant to leave.

 

       “That’s really fucked up that you are planning to molest her in her injured state.” Dom said, angrily.

 

       Louis slapped a palm to his forehead in annoyance. “We are not going to molest her for Merlin’s sake! We just have to talk to her about something!” Fred said, exasperated.

 

       “Just go, everybody.” I told them, and they went up the staircases warily.

 

       “What did you want to-“

 

“We have a plan.” Louis told me excitedly.

 

       “A plan?” I said, confused.

 

       “We have a plan to get you and James together.” Fred grinned.

 

Does anybody else feel like whatever is going to come out of their mouths will not be a good idea?

 

Good. So I’m not alone, then.

 

       “What does this ‘plan’ involve? I’m not going to dress like a slag or straddle him or any stupid perverted shit like that.”

 

Hey, it’s Fred and Louis.

 

I wouldn’t doubt that that’s what their sick little minds are coming up with.

 

Would you?

 

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

 

They laughed. “No, although we’d love to see you dress in something a little more…revealing, we don’t want to give poor Apollo a heart attack.” Louis winked.

 

       “Okay then, what’s the plan?”

 

       “You’re going to find another guy, whoever it may be, date him, snog the snot out of him right in front of James. And thus, Jamesie is jealous and realizes his undying love for you.” Fred told me proudly.

 

You know what’s really depressing?

 

No, not my life, Albert, but thanks for that sweet jab at my patheticness.

 

It’s the fact that I already got a guy, and James can’t even know about him. Nor could anybody else for that matter.

 

 






        

 

A/N: Oh hi. Got this up there pretty fast, didn’t I? What did you think? Happy or sad that she is going to Hogsmeade with Noah? I can imagine most of you are sad. Sorry! More Freddy and Louis in this chapter! I seriously love them. What do you think about their plan? Good? Bad?

 

Any more favorite quotes? I feel like a lot happened in this chapter or is that just me? Hmm. Either way, I hope you liked this. I kinda wrote it almost all in one day. My eyes feel like they are going to fall off from staring at my computer screen for so long. 

 

Anyways, review please! Happy Holidays! :) 
 
 


Chapter 8: Abusive Best Friends, Fred Weasley, and Disaster
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Disclaimer: I own nothing.









 

       “Ew. Is that seriously what you’re wearing on your date?”

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce, my oh-so-nice best friend, Dominique Anne Weasley.

 

And yes, I did tell her about my date with Noah. She couldn’t care less about quidditch so it didn’t really matter to her that I was going out with our opposing team’s captain.

 

       “Gee, thanks for that super complement.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

 

       Dom stopped wrinkling her nose and actually had the decency to look apologetic.

 

That’s right, feel bad.

 

       “I’m sorry, but don’t you want to wear something, I don’t know, more not ugly?” She suggested, trying to be helpful.

 

Wow, her mouth is just oozing sweetness today, isn’t it?

 

       “What’s wrong with this?” I said indignantly, gesturing to outfit. “It’s a flipping sweater and jeans! How is this ugly?” I asked.

 

Seriously, since when is a scarlet sweater and dark jeans ugly?

 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?

 

       “It’s not that it’s ugly, it’s just not really a date outfit. I have tons of hot outfits that will make Noah drool when he sees you.” Dom said, curling her blonde hair with her wand.

 

Ew, drool. Gross.

 

Alex drools when she sleeps. It’s totally barf worthy.

 

I wonder if James knows that she drools. I should tell him and then he’ll be like, “Nasty, I’m going to break up with my disgusting girlfriend because she makes me want to puke up my intestines! I should date Aphrodite instead because she sleeps like an angel!” Then he’ll propose.

 

Yes, it’ll happen. You just wait.

 

       Dom didn’t give me the chance to say yes or no to her dressing me. Instead, she began digging in her trunk throwing clothing all over the room. Alex and Lizzie huffed in annoyance and retreated into the bathroom. Rose was still sleeping because she wasn’t going to Hogsmeade, and she was staying home to study. Loser.

 

       “Oh my Merlin! You have to wear this! It would look so good on you!” Dom exclaimed eagerly. She was holding up a striped V-neck sweater dress. The stripes were dark coffee brown, cream, teal, olive green, and a carmely colored brown.

 

It was actually really cute, but I just didn’t know if it was me, you know? No? Git.

 

“I don’t know, Dom-“

 

“You’re wearing it!” She snapped, and threw the dress at me.

 

Well, someone was a bit feisty this morning.

 

       “Fine, fine! I’ll wear it, you insane bint!” I exclaimed, holding my hands up in surrender.

 

       After I put on the bleeding dress she nodded approvingly. “Right, now can I please do something for your hair?” She pleaded.

 

       “There is nothing you can do for this rats nest.” I laughed, pointing to my monstrosity of a head.

 

       Dom rolled her eyes and pushed me into a chair. She began running her fingers through my hair and ruffling it in certain places. After about thirty seconds, she stepped back and surveyed her worked. “Done!” She said brightly.

 

       I looked in the mirror. It looked messier than it did before. I don’t know if I should say thanks?

 

       “Um. It looks messier.” I decided to say bluntly.

 

       Dom frowned and rolled her eyes. “It’s supposed to. You have sex hair now.”

 

Sex hair? Really?

 

Great. So now it looks like I’ve been getting it on with some bloke in a closet right before my date with another guy? It’s not sex hair it’s slut hair!

 

Oh I am so witty.

 

       “Sex hair is a good thing. It looks hot.” Dom said, noticing my expression.

 

       “Whatever you say, Dominique.”

 

       “Don’t call me Dominique.” She snapped, flicking my cheek as she grabbed her make up bag.

 

Seriously? Who flicks people anymore?

 

STUPID PEOPLE THAT’S WHO!

 

I bet you flick people, Albert. Cause your stupid. You probably got Trolls on all of your assignments.

 

Git.

 

       “Now before you freak out, it’s just a little mascara. Don’t hit me.” Dom said hesitantly, walking towards me slowly with the mascara wand of death in her hand.

 

I don’t like mascara.

 

Yes, I wear it on occasion, but legit every blasted time I try to apply that evil stuff I poke myself in the fucking eye.

 

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

 

Let me just tell you, Albert, mascara to the eye is not a pleasant thing whatsoever.

 

       “No. No, Dominique. Absolutely not.” I said, getting out of the chair abruptly, and started backing up. “Get the hell away from me with that thing!” I shrieked when she started chasing me around the room.

 

       “Come on, Eggs! Please! You look so nice with mascara on!” Dom begged, running after me.

 

Why, Albert, why am I friends with this chit?

 

Yeah, I don’t know either.

 

       “GET AWAY!” I screeched.

 

       “Dom, leave her alone!” Rosie whined, covering her head with a pillow to block out the noise of our screaming.

 

       “No! She will be gorgeous, dammit!” Dom yelled, lunging at me, effectively knocking me to the ground.

 

OW?!

 

       “What the fu-“ I started screaming, but was cut off by Dom pulling out her wand and putting a full body bind curse on me.

 

I hate her. I hate her so bloody much. This isn’t what a best friend does! Is it? I mean, is it normal for best friends to attack each other just to put on make up? Because if it is, I think I have lost my faith in humanity.

 

       Dom began putting on the mascara. Oh bollocks.

 

Don’t poke me.

 

Don’t poke me.

 

Don’t poke me.

 

FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN, DO NOT POKE ME!

 

       “There! I’m done! Now that wasn’t so bad!” Dom chirped, patting my cheek.

 

Now she couldn’t see it because of the body bind curse, but I was glaring at her with such intensity that it could kill someone.

 

It’s true.

 

My glares are dangerous.

 

Oooohh be afraid. BE IT!

 

       I was waiting for the curse to be lifted, but it didn’t come. Instead, Dom was rummaging in her makeup bag. She pulled out eye shadow. Eye shadow! Is she bloody serious?

 

       My bitch of a friend was applying a shimmery goldish brown color to my eyelids. Shimmery color? Really, Dominique? Do I look like a shimmery type of girl?

 

No. I do not indeed look like a shimmery type of girl.

 

I am a tee shirt and jeans wearing tomboy.

 

Back up, bitches!

 

       Dom closed up the eye shadow and started looking through her bag again, muttering to herself. “Your cheeks are naturally rosy so you don’t need blush. Your complexion is good so no need for cover up. Looks like all you need now is lip gloss!”

 

Oh hell no.

 

Lip-gloss=DEATH.

 

I loathe lip-gloss.

 

Al once dared me to eat an entire tube of Dom’s banana cream pie flavored lip-gloss.

 

I don’t even like banana cream pie!

 

I spent the next five hours with my head in the toilet barfing.

 

I didn’t talk to Al for a week. His defense was that I didn’t have to take the dare, but hey, I’m Aphrodite flipping Price.

 

I never turn down a dare.

 

       “Don’t worry, it’s not banana cream!” Dom told me brightly, putting on the disgusting lip shit, obviously enjoying every minute of it.

 

Gag. Just hearing the name makes me want to puke.

 

       “There! Now you look perfect!” She said excitedly, hopping off the floor where I still lay frozen. “Now, when I unfreeze you, don’t you dare attack me or I’ll snap your wand in half. And don’t even think about trying to take off your makeup because I already charmed it to stay on your face for twelve hours.” Dom said, grinning triumphantly as if she was the shit.

 

Did I already mention that I hate her?

 

       “Rosie, back me up if she tries to kill me?” Dom asked the motionless lump lying on the bed in the corner.

      

       “Don’t call me Rosie.” She mumbled tiredly.

 

       “Looks like I’m on my own!” Dom said, waving her wand, thus unfreezing me.

 

       Finally being able to have control over my body, my face contorted in an expression expressing the rage I was feeling inside.

 

       “Eggsie, you can’t honestly be mad, right?” Dom said, laughing nervously as I stood up and began walking slowly towards her.

 

Oh I can be mad.

 

I can be very mad.

 

       “Eggs, you’re doing that creepy eye twitch thing. Stop smiling at me like that! It’s freaking me out!” Dom shrieked, holding up her wand defensively.

 

       “I’m not going to get you back now, dear Dominique. Oh no. That would be way too easy. I’m going to get you back when you’re least expecting it.” I told her, continuing to smile and stare at her creepily for about thirty more seconds.

 

She was practically shaking.

 

I mean, I knew I was good, but I didn’t know that I was that good.

 

Holy shit, I am freaking awesome.

 

       “Right. Now find me shoes!” I ordered cheerfully, plopping myself in the chair and using my trunk as a footrest.

 

       Dom pulled a very confused face before snapping to it and fetching me a pair of sheepskin brown boots. I put them on, stood up, and looked at myself in the mirror.

 

       No, this is not one of those stories where the tom boy gets a make over unwillingly by her friend, becomes suddenly beautiful, and then the guys she loves is like, “Oh my Merlin! Where have you been all my life?!”

 

Psh. I wish.

 

       Dom didn’t really do much to be honest. I guess she just made my features stand out more.

 

The mascara of death made my already longish eyelashes look even longer. Almost frighteningly long.

 

The goldish brown eye shadow was put on very subtly, but it brought out the gold flecks in my hazel eyes.

 

The lip-gloss (gag) made my lips look shiny and well, glossy. What else is lip-gloss suppose to do? Maybe I’m just prejudice. You’d be prejudice too if you threw up the repulsive stuff for five hours.

 

The sweater was very flattering to my curves, and I felt like I was showing just enough cleavage, but that wasn’t slutty. My legs looked decently long. The dress ended just above my knees. The boots, coming up mid calf, finished the outfit quite nicely.

 

I had to admit, Dom did a great job.

 

       “You do good work, Weasley.” I commended, clapping my best friend on the shoulder.

 

       I chucked a stray shoe lying on the ground at Rose’s sleeping form just for good measure.

 

I never said that I was a nice person.

 

She grunted and flicked me off. “Bye Rosie! Love you too!” I called as I walked merrily down the steps.

 

       “Hey Pricey!” Fred and Louis greeted in unison as I entered the common room. I guess they had been waiting for me.

 

       “Hi guys!” I said as I reached for Louis’ wrist. I checked the time on his watch. 10:58. I was supposed to meet Noah at 11.

 

Cool beans. I was right on time.

 

       “Kay, bye!” I waved, smiling and started out of the common room.

 

       “Wait, where are you going?” Fred asked, grabbing my arm, and stopping me.

 

Poop.

 

Why couldn’t they just let me be?

 

       “Hogsmeade!” I answered, cheerfully.

 

       “Brilliant. We’ll go with you. Can’t have someone looking that smashing going by herself, now can we?” Louis said, winking, and took my other arm.

 

I pulled away from both of them.

 

       “Erm, I actually have a date.” I said awkwardly, tucking a dark curl behind my ear.

 

They both looked at me with puzzled expressions.

 

I suppose I could understand why they were confused. I mean, our plan was for me to get a guy to make James jealous, which I did. I guess by not telling them they just assumed I hadn’t found anybody.

 

Stupid boys.

 

       “Who? Why didn’t you tell us?”

 

       “Um, it’s a surprise?” I said, holding my hands up, kind of questioning my own answer.

 

       “Please tell us?” Fred pleaded.

 

Bollocks.

 

Louis was doing that thing where he made his blue eyes go really big. How is it that a bloke, a bloke, can do the puppy dog eyes better than I can? I hate my life.

 

Freddy, instead of taking the little kid approach, took the ‘I’m-so-bloody-sexy-Now-you-have-to-tell-me’ approach. He was smiling at me, flashing all of his uber white teeth. He folded his arms across his chest, flexing his muscles slightly. His eyes caramel eyes were dancing in amusement, making his look even hotter. He fucking knew all of this too.

 

They legit had this routine down. Freddy used his way to get girls in bed, and Louis used his to get the females in the family to do what he wants.

 

It’s freaking annoying and almost impossible to resist. 

 

       “Don’t bloody do that to me!” I whined.

 

       “Do what?” Fred asked smirking, flexing his muscles even more. Louis made his eyes twice as wide and pouted slightly.

 

Kill me. Kill me now.

 

I’d really prefer quick and painless, because well, it’d be quick and painless.

 

Leave my clothing to Dominique. She can sell them to buy herself clothes that she actually likes.

 

Leave my schoolbooks to Rosie. They were rarely opened. I do hope that she will find some use in the worthless pieces of trash.

 

Leave my broomstick to Apollo. I know he was always jealous that I got the faster model.

 

Leave my heart to James. He’ll probably use it as a quaffle to practice with. Sigh.

 

       I clamped my right hand over my eyes. “I’m not falling for it!”

      

       “I have no idea what you’re talking about, love.” Fred said innocently, gently removing my hand. I opened my eyes and his face was inches from my own. “Now who are you going to Hogsmeade?” He asked, his warm breath tickling my face. 

 

Holy poop.

 

Albert! Why haven’t you killed me yet!?

 

       “I’m not t-telling!” I stuttered, lifted my leg, and kneed him right in his man business.

 

Oh stop cringing, Albert.

 

       Freddy fell to the ground groaning. Louis looked at me shocked at what I had just done. Frankly, I was a little bit surprised myself. “Sorry!” I squeaked before running out of the common room.

 

       “Freddy! Fred! SPEAK TO ME, MAN!” Louis was yelling dramatically behind me.

 

I darted out of the portrait hole and slammed into somebody. I fell backwards on my arse, my hair flying everywhere. Noah stood above me, eyes twinkling in amusement, and offered a hand to help me up.

 

Why is it that every time I see him it involves me humiliating myself in someway?

 

Life is hard.

 

I smiled gratefully and took it. “Are you okay?” Noah asked, worriedly.

 

Oh, I’m just peachy. Not only is my arse bruised but so is my dignity.

 

Awesome.









 

FRED’S POV

 

       I can’t believe she did that. I mean, honestly, I’m not even going to be able to have children after that! I always wanted a little Freddy Jr. I’d teach him to be a total boss and how to get girls in bed.

 

I’d be a great father, I really would be.

 

       “Freddy! Fred! SPEAK TO ME, MAN!” Louis yelled.

 

Nope. No thanks, I’d quite like to continue withering in pain on the floor.

 

       I groaned. “How many fingers am I holding up?” Louis asked me, franticly holding up three fingers.

 

I got kicked in the, erm, lower half of my body not punched in the head.

 

Idiot.

 

       I smacked his hand out of my face, and attempted to stand.

 

Yeah, didn’t work out so well.

 

I ended up, very classily I must add, falling to the floor again.

 

Look what Pricey dearest has done to me! I’ll never be right again!

 

       “Come on, up you go, mate!” Louis said, heaving me up onto my feet. “I really thought you almost had her there.” He said, clapping me on the shoulder.

 

Merlin, I was so fucking close. I could’ve killed two birds with one stone. Snogged the life out of Pricey and found out who her date was.

 

Oh how I love seduction.

 

       You know for a girl that is head over heels in love with James she sure does have some righteous hormones when it comes to other guys. I know she’d rather have it be James seducing her for information, but she almost gave into temptation right there. 

 

       I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t tell Louis and me who she was going to Hogsmeade with. I mean, it was our absolutely brilliant plan in the first place so why shouldn’t we know?

 

Unless, Pricey was embarrassed of her date? Maybe she was going out with some pimply loser freak that likes to eat his toenails. Or maybe she was going out with a Slytherin!

 

No, she couldn’t be. She would never stoop that low. Would she?

 

       “You don’t think that Pricey’s date is a Slytherin and that’s why she didn’t tell us, do you?” Louis asked me, obviously pondering the same exact question.

 

Shit. 

 

       “Do you think that we should tell James and Apollo? I mean, if she is out with a Slytherin that could be dangerous considering she’s our star Seeker.” I said, worriedly.

 

       “Yeah, let’s go.” Louis said and he helped me hobble up the steps.

 

I know what you’re thinking. Shouldn’t a gorgeous stud muffin like me have a date on this fine Hogsmeade day rather than practically babysitting a mega fine sixth year?

 

The answer is yes, but I thought I’d be going to Hogsmeade with said mega fine sixth year so I’m shit out of luck with no date. My dear cousin Louis is in the same unfortunate situation as me.

 

       When we entered the 7th year dorm, it was completely pitch black. The only noise was coming from the loud arse jackhammer like snoring coming in all different directions.

 

Don’t these blokes have dates or something?

 

       I looked over at Louis and he nodded. We both pulled out our stash of Weasley’s Whiz-Bangs, courtesy of the old man, and lit them. They exploded in a beautiful array in a little something I like to call mayhem.

 

       All four blokes awoke with a start screaming things that ranged from, “What the bloody fuck is going on!?” and “Pretty lights!”

 

People these days. Honestly.

 

       After the explosions were finished, James, Apollo, Finnigan, and Shane finally noticed us. “What the fuck is wrong with you guys!?” They all yelled stimulatingly and chucked their pillows at us.

 

I, being the kick arse ninja that I am, blocked them all with ease. It’s a skill, you know, blocking pillows. I should make a career out of this shit.

 

       “Why are you prats all still sleeping?” Louis asked while picking a feather out of his hair.

 

       “Shit! What time is it?” James asked franticly, running his hands through his messy black hair.

 

       “11:05.” I said, glancing down at my watch.

 

I swear, I have never seen blokes move so fast.

 

“Fuck! I’m supposed to meet Alex in five minutes!” James exclaimed, trying to get out of his bed, but he was so tangled up in his sheets that he fell off the bed onto the floor.

 

My cousin is a git. I am embarrassed to be related to such a person.

 

       “I have a date! Why didn’t the bleeding alarm clock go off?” Finnigan yelled annoyed, running to the bathrooms.

 

       “Where the hell is that shirt? Apollo! Did you take my shirt?” Shane said, rummaging in his trunk and throwing clothing all over the room.

 

       “Why would I have your shirt? We aren’t even the same size!” Apollo said aggravated, as he got hit in the face with a pair of Shane’s boxers.

 

       “Hey!” Louis said loudly, trying to get their attention.

 

They kept being tossers and spazzingly moving around.

        

       “HEY!” I yelled, and Shane, Apollo, and James stopped to look at me. “We have a problem.” I told them.

 

       “You didn’t get some poor girl pregnant did you?” James asked, looking apprehensive. 

 

Why is it that whenever Louis and I have a problem everybody assumes that we got somebody pregnant!?

 

We are responsible people almost all the time!

 

       Louis slapped a hand to his forehead in frustration. “No we didn’t get anybody pregnant! It’s about Pricey!” I exclaimed in exasperation.

 

       Apollo’s expression instantly looked interested and slightly worried and so did James’.

 

Hmm. Curious.

 

       “You didn’t rape her and get her pregnant, did you?” Shane asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Apollo glared at me. Like full out death glared.

 

You know, for a bloke with turquoise eyes and a slight baby face, he can give some scary arse glares.

 

I think I just shit my pants.

 

Not literally, that would be disgusting. But figuratively, there is a large turd in my pants.

 



 

Too much information, right?

 

Yeah, I apologize for that.

 

       “For Merlin’s sake, no! We think she’s on a date with a Slytherin!” Louis exclaimed, irritated.

 

Apollo stood up abruptly and angrily, yelling, “WHAT?!”

 

I watched for James’ reaction. He looked incredibly pissed, but completely dumbstruck at the same time. His fists were clenched and his expression made him seem like he just whacked on the head by an angry troll.

 

Maybe our little jealousy plan worked after all…

 

Shane was raising an eyebrow at James’ reaction. Did he know something?

 

Nah. Shane is too much of a git to be observant of this kind of shit. I mean, the bloke is nice and all but he’s kind of an idiot.

 

       “Well, are we going to find out who the fuck this bastard is or not?” Apollo asked, annoyed when nobody made a move to run out the door in the ten seconds after Lou made the little announcement.

 

       “I’ll skip my date with Lindsay.” Shane said, patting Apollo on the shoulder consolingly.

 

       “Looks like Alex is going to kill me for missing our date.” James grinned, and threw on a shirt.

 

I really don’t understand why he was even dating that cow in the first place. He didn’t even seem happy with her. I mean, sure she’s hot looking I guess, but it’s the fake kind of hot.

 

I bet the bitch stuffs her bra.

 

       “Well let’s get a move on! Come on!” Apollo exclaimed, running out the door in what he slept in, which was sweatpants and a ratty arse tee shirt.

 

Fucking kid is mental.

 












 

       “Dude, touch into me one more time and see what happens to you.”

 

       “Bastard! You just stepped on my foot!”

 

       “There is a thorn in my shoe. There is a thorn in my fucking shoe!”

 

        “This bush smells like dog shit.”

 

That’s right we were in a bush.

 

We were in a bleeding bush.

 

It was Louis’ brilliant idea to wait in the bush and hope that Pricey magically walks by.

 

My cousin and best friend is a prat.

 

I helpfully suggested that we split up and go into Zonkos, Honeydukes, and Three Broomsticks because those are the places that Pricey would most likely be.

 

But nooooo. They all thought it would be just a dandy plan to cram behind/in a fucking bush.

 

Imbeciles.

 

       “Merlin, look at Kylie Smith. She’s such a fit little thing.” Louis said, looking in the direction of the sexy blonde, tan, and gorgeous Ravenclaw. This of course captured the attention of all of us in the bush.

 

Hey, we’re blokes. Can you blame us?

 

       “I shagged her last year. Wild as hell in bed.” Shane told us grinning.

 

I looked at him in awe. I had to admit, that was impressive.

 

       “You fucked Kylie Smith? She’s usually one not to sleep around.”

 

       “She was piss drunk. Wasn’t really the most challenging of lays.” James said laughing. I snorted.

      

       “Fuck you. It still counts.” Shane said, and punched him in the arm.

 

(It doesn’t.)

 

       “Oh shit! There’s Dom and that Hufflepuff!” Louis said, pointing at Dom and some black haired tosser.

 

James and I both cast a different hex at him.

 

I used the ever-popular bat bogey hex. And James used the very classy slug vomiting charm.

 

We’re her cousins. It comes with the territory to be protective.

 

Plus it was hilarious to watch Dom start freaking out when her date began to violently vomit up slugs and have booger bats attack his face.

 

Dom, not knowing what to do, decided he wasn’t worth her precious time and just left him there, looking thoroughly disgusted.

 

Dominique is a lovely person. She really is.

 

I started laughing with the rest of my little spying in a bush clan, and that’s when I saw her.

 

That’s when I saw her laughing, holding hands, with him.

 

The one guy that is worse than a fucking Slytherin. I didn’t even know that was bloody possible.

 

       “No way.” I whispered shocked. Everyone followed my gaze.

 

Noah. Fucking. Davies.









 

APHRODITE/EGGS/BITER/PRICEY’S POV

 

       “Favorite color?”

 

       “Blue.” Noah responded.

 

       I shook my head and laughed, “Such a typical Ravenclaw answer.”

 

       He grinned. “What? I’m not allowed to show my house pride?” I just smirked. “Okay, what’s your favorite color then? Red?” Noah said, his tone teasing.

 

       “For your information, smart arse, my favorite color is orange!” I stuck my tongue out at him.

 

       “Why orange?” He asked.

 

       “Because it’s fun to say!” I chirped. “Oooorrraaanngggeee.” I said, pronouncing each word and syllable slowly. He chuckled at me.

 

       “Favorite shape?” Noah asked.

 

       “Favorite shape? Seriously? That’s such a random question?” I said, giggling.

 

I know. How cliché are we, walking down the street, holding hands, and asking each other our favorites on our first date? Don’t judge. It’s actually pretty fun.

 

       “Just answer the question, Price.” He ordered, scowling, but his eyes were twinkling.

 

       “Fine! No need to get huffy.” I teased. “I guess it would be a trapezoid?”

 

       “A trapezoid?” He laughed.

 

       “Who the fuck has a favorite shape, you tosser!”

 

       “Mine is a rhombus.” He grinned.

 

       “That’s worse than a bloody trapezoid!” I exclaimed, elbowing him in the ribs playfully.

 

       “Is not!”

 

       “Is too!”

 

       “You are just too embarrassed to admit that my shape is way cooler than yours.” He smirked.

 

What a twat.

 

       “Yours just sounds stupid. I mean, a rhombus?” I said, raising my eyebrow.

 

Am I wrong here, Albert? Trapezoids are better than rhombus, right? I don’t even know what the blasted things look like.

 

       Noah just shook his head, smiling. “Favorite type of lunch meat to put in your sandwiches?” He asked.

 

       I laughed at the ridiculous question. I looked up to answer him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking over my head at something, and smirking mischievously. I began to turn, but Noah grabbed my face and kissed me.

 

And I mean really kissed me. Like with tongue and everything.

 

Oh shut it, Albert. That was not too graphic. 

 

       I started to kiss him back, but I was suddenly wrenched backwards with amazing force. “What the fuck?” I yelled, and tried to detach myself from whoever was grabbing me.

 

It was Apollo. And he looked nothing short of absolutely furious.

 

Bollocks.

 

Can you say screwed?

 

No, I didn’t mean that literally, Albert. I realize that you can say screwed, you git. I meant that I’m screwed. Got it? Great.

 

       Apollo looked at me fiercely as if he didn’t even know me, and dropped my arm before punching Noah in the face.

 

Shane, Fred, Louis, and James took this as an invitation that they could punch my date as well.

 

I watched horrified, as it was five on one. Noah managed to get in a few punches as well, giving James a cut lip, Fred a broken nose, and Apollo what would eventually be a black eye.

 

Noah was in much worse shape though. “Stop it! STOP!” I screamed. We were causing quite a scene, but so far nobody was breaking up the fight.

 

       Nobody listened to my pathetic screams so I pulled out my wand and performed a protection charm sending all the boys flying in different directions.

 

       As soon as they landed, they all got up and marched towards Noah again.

 

For the love of Merlin.

 

       I stood in front of Noah with my hands and wand up. Noah was on the floor coughing up blood. How pleasant. “Please, don’t hurt him.” I begged as Fred, Louis, James, Shane, and Apollo approached me with matching seething expressions.

 

       “Why the fuck are you with him, Aphrodite?” Apollo yelled furiously.

 

I flinched at the use of my first name. Like I said before, he only uses my first name when he’s really really mad.

 

       I didn’t answer. Instead, I looked at the ground, unable to meet his eyes. “Do you do this kind of shit purposely? Are you getting back at me for something I’ve done to you? I thought I’ve been a pretty good big brother-“ He ranted, fists clenched, pacing back in forth.

 

       “You’re the best big brother!” I told him honestly, my head snapping up, and looking at him with wet eyes.

 

       “Then why would you go out with the one guy, the one guy, that I absolutely despise? And you know I hate him too! Not to mention the team-“

 

       “What about the team? What does the team have to do with it?” I cried, uncomfortable with the way a bunch of strangers were staring at me. Uncomfortable with the way my friends and brother were staring at me.

 

       “Don’t be stupid, Aphrodite. You know we have a match against Ravenclaw in two weeks.” James snapped.

 

I froze and looked at James’ face.

 

His mouth was set in a tight line, his nostrils were flaring, and his eyes lost the normal twinkle they had in them when he talked to me.

 

They were just…dead.

 

The way he was looking at me hurt. It was physical pain shooting through my body.

 

He snapped at me. James never snapped at me. I was his Biter. I wasn’t Aphrodite.

 

       Tears were streaming down my face noiselessly. “I’m sorry.” I managed to whisper.

 

       All of their faces were unforgiving. “If you were sorry, then you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.” Apollo snarled, and walked away shooting me a disgusted look as he did so.

 

       The boys followed, looking at me as if I was something that they found on the bottom of their shoes. Even Fred, Louis, and Shane were missing their usual happy, humor filled personalities.

 

       I fell to the ground in sobs, clutching my knees for some sort of comfort. Fred was the only one that glanced back. When he did, he only frowned.









 

FRED’S POV

 

        I looked back. The arse was smirking from his pathetic position on the ground.









A/N: Raise your hand if you want to kill everybody in this story for their outstanding stupidity! Oh poop, look at all those hands. Raise your hand if you want to kill me! Wow, even more hands.

Yeah, I apologize for the extreme intensity of this chapter. I was actually surprised that I had a really fun time writing it because normally I hate when problems happen in stories. I just want everything to be happy dandy the whole time, but that wouldn’t be much of a story, now would it?

You people still like Noah? Probably thought he was good at first, didn’t you? Seems like Mr. Noah Davies has a plan…What that plan might be, well, you’ll have to read and find out. ;)

Did you like the parts in Fred’s POV? It was really weird for me to write in the point of view of a guy. I kept telling myself, Think like a man. Think like a man!  

I can imagine that a lot of you are angry about the almost kiss between Fred and Aphrodite. I’m sorry about that, but I just had to have it in there for myself. I love Fred. No, Aphrodite does not like him more than a friend. She just thinks he’s really hot. I mean, how could you not? HE’S FRED WEASLEY!!

Your reviews have been amazing. I love reading them all. More favorite quotes/lines/parts of the earlier more happy part of this chapter?

Tell me what you think! OVER AND OUT.

 

 


Chapter 9: Whining, Practice, and Sisters
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Disclaimer: I own nothing!




 

       As of now, I currently have, wait for it, a grand total of…*drum roll*…two friends in my own house. That’s right two.

 

Give it up for the loser of the Gryffindor tower.

 

       Word spread very fast about the little, erm, incident, and suddenly I was being glared at or told off by everyone in my house.

 

People who I didn’t even know were walking away whenever I entered the room.

 

People who already hated me were being especially cold. As in, they throw food at me.

 

Mustard doesn’t come out of clothes, let me tell you.

 

Even my ‘friends’ ignored me, or didn’t even look at me when I was around them.

 

All because I ‘betrayed’ Gryffindor. I find that very unfair. I mean, sure maybe it was a mistake that I went on the date with Noah right before our game, but he didn’t even ask me one question about quidditch! Noah is a good person.

 

He comforted me after all the guys left. You would think that someone who just got the shit beat out of him would be a little bitter towards the girl who sorta caused it, but he wasn’t. He honestly and genuinely cared.

 

       The only two friends that haven’t dropped me like a sack of potatoes are Dom and Elle. Dom, because like I said before, couldn’t care less about quidditch. And Elle, because she’s a firstie and doesn’t really have any other friends besides me. Plus, she doesn’t know enough about quidditch yet to care.

 

I love Dom and Elle, I really do, but a first year and a girl who only talks about boys aren’t really a good selection of friends right now.

 

I suppose I shouldn’t really be picky considering everyone else hates me.

 

And no, I’m not just being dramatic.

 

Al hates me. Laid back, sweet, and caring Albus Potter hates me. How is that even possible? The kid scowls at me when I’m within a thirty foot distance of him. I didn’t even know that Al was capable of scowling.

 

And Rose! Forgiving, loving, and understanding, Rose didn’t even look me in the eye. She’s not even on the bloody team! I guess it is her stupid quidditch obsession that made her angry that I was sacrificing the chances of winning by ‘dating the enemy’.

 

Ridiculous.

 

The whole situation sucks astronomically.

 

I feel guilty about going out with the guy that my brother hates, which is my fault and probably a bad decision on my part.

 

I feel guilty that I went out with him two weeks before the game, which made me feel like I was in some way letting down my team.

 

I feel guilty that Dom wasn’t talking to any of her cousins because none of her cousins were talking to me.

 

I feel guilty that all of Gryffindor is practically spitting on my boyfriend when he walks down the corridor.

 

Err…yeah. Noah is my boyfriend. I don’t really know how it happened. I know I’m an idiot for staying with him after what happened, but it’s nice to have someone with me that honestly cares, you know?

 

Am I a terrible person? I am, aren’t I?

 

Damn.

 

I don’t even deserve to be a Gryffindor. I’m not brave enough to deal with this kind of shit. I’ve always had someone there with me. Ever since I was born, it has been Apollo. He has always been my best friend. After we got to Hogwarts, it was Rose, Dom, and Al.

 

And now, it’s just Dom and Elle. I can’t deal with two friends. I’m the kind of fucked up person that needs at least five people with her at all times. I hate being by myself. I hate being lonely.

 

I should just like transfer to Hufflepuff or something. They’re known for being sweet and loyal bastards aren’t they? That could work. I look shit in yellow and black though. Who the fuck even decided on yellow and black? Like seriously, it makes people look like bloody bumblebees. Who wants to look like a bumblebee, honestly?

 

Nobody. That’s who.

 

I couldn’t be a Ravenclaw, I don’t think. They are a bunch of snobbish freaks that read all the time. Losers. I mean, yes, my boyfriend is in that house, but still. That house does way too much studying for my liking.

 

And even the mere thought of being in Slytherin makes me want to puke. I used to like the color green before I found out it was Slytherin colors. Stupid Slytherins made me hate green. SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE YOU STUPID FUCKS!

 

Ahem.

 

I apologize for that, Albert.

 

But for real, I only belong in Gryffindor, and they hate me.

 

Being a human sucks, you know?

 

I’d much rather be the giant squid or something.

 

The bloody thing just gets to chill in the Black Lake the entire time without a care in the world. How awesome would that be? He doesn’t have to worry about shit other than…nothing. What the hell does a squid have to worry about?

 

Exactly. Maybe there is some kind of spell to change me into a giant squid.

 

I’ll be known as Aphrodite-The-Girl-That-Changed-Herself-Into-A-Giant-Squid-Because-Her-Life-Sucked-And-Nobody-Liked-Her-Price.

 

Dandy title, don’t you think?

 

And what’s really horrible is that I have my first quidditch practice since the Hogsmeade day.

 

I’m just a tad nervous.

 

Why?

 

Did you seriously ask why, Albert?

 

Merlin, you are such a dipshit.

 

How about this: Angry quidditch team+Me (The person they are angry with)= Poop.

 

Got it?

 

Great.

 

Fuck my life.

 

And you know what the worst part of quidditch practice is?

 

That James didn’t even tell me about having practice in person.

 

He owled me. He bloody owled me.

 

He knows I don’t like owls! He knows I hate owls.

 

Creepy things scare the shit out of me.

 

And literally, the only thing the letter said was: Practice. 5:30.

 

Then, the fucking bird bit my finger. It started bleeding and everything.

 

I may or I may not have run out of my dorm crying and yelling about getting bird rabies.

 

Shut up, Albert. I was scared.

 

Right now, it’s 5:20. And I might possibly be hiding underneath my blankets, dreading going to practice.

 

Don’t judge.

 

       “Eggs! What are you doing? You have practice in ten minutes!” Dom screeched when she walked in the room and saw me in my pathetic state.

 

       “I don’t wanna gooooooo!” I whined, pulling the blankets more tightly over my head.

 

       “You do realize that if you don’t go that you’re going to be kicked off the team?” Dom said, trying to rip the blankets off of me. She didn’t succeed.

 

       “I don’t care!” I moaned, trying to kick her off my bed.

 

       “I’m sick of this sulking shit! Get your whiney little arse to practice!” She shrieked, grabbed my ankles, and yanked me off the bed.

 

Isn’t my best friend just a flipping saint?

 

       “ACK! What the fuck is wrong with you?” I yelled, massaging my elbow, which slammed against the hardwood floor very hard.

 

       “I told you.” Dom growled, her blue eyes bright with anger. “I’m sick of your sulking around. They’re pissed at you. I get it. But it’s time for all of you to- Move. The. Fuck. On.”

 

She lightly tossed me my sneakers.

 

And when I say lightly toss, I mean she chucked them at my head.

 

I glared at her, but put them on regardless.

 

       “I hate you.” I told her, pulling a light gray sweatshirt over my head. 

 

       “I know!” She called back cheerfully, as I ran out the door.

 

Insane bint.

 

And to think I call her my best friend.

 







 

I got to the quidditch pitch, literally, one minute late.

 

One.

 

       “Nice of you to show up.” James said coldly, eyes narrowing slightly when he looked at me.

 

Shane folded his arms across his chest. Roxanne glared at me. Al froze. Fred scowled. And Apollo refused to look in my direction.

 

Don’t cry. Don’t cry, Aphrodite. You are not a pretty crier. You look like a psycho loser when you cry.

 

I really do. You should see me. It’s honestly slightly frightening.

 

My nose starts running like a disgusting faucet of goo, and my eyes get all puffy and bloodshot. I look like I’ve just been doing drugs or something. Not to mention that my face scrunches up, and I look like I’m constipated.

 

Not even remotely attractive in any way.

 

I hate the girls that look all peaceful and beautiful when they cry.

 

Dom looks gorgeous when she cries.

(I hate her sometimes.)

 

Rose looks really weird when she cries. Her whole entire face turns red. Like it’s fucking creepy. You should see it, she looks like a tomato or fire truck or some other thing that looks red.

 

Wait, am I still allowed to make fun of her if she hates me?

 

Eh. Who cares?

 

She looks weird.

 

Why am I even talking about this?

 

Merlin, I am not right in the head.

 

       “Sorry.” I said in a pathetically small voice looking at my shoes.

 

I am such a bloody coward.

 

       James ignored me. “Okay team, the usual fifteen laps around the pitch!” He yelled, and everybody began running.

 

I took my normal spot on the bleachers.

 

       “That means you too, Price!” James called angrily, arms folded across his chest.

 

Say what?

 

First of all, did anybody else hear the use of the last name? He called me by my bloody last name. This is fucking bad.

 

Second, say what? Running? I don’t do running. Remember the whole fall on my arse thing and taking everybody down with me? Yeah, that still happens.

 

       I’m pretty sure I sputtered like an idiot for two whole minutes. “W-what?” I said spastically.

 

       “Get your arse on the pitch!” He yelled with authority, his expression fierce.

 

I flinched at the coldness in his voice, and quickly made my way to the pitch to begin *shudder* running. I hid my face with my hair as I passed him.

 

I. Am. Such. A. Bloody. COWARD.

 

I ran for about three minutes before I started wheezing.

 

I repeat: I do not run. Ever.

 

My chest felt like it was on fire, my nose was running (very attractive, I know) from the cold, and I literally sounded like I was about to die.

 

Everyone else was starting to lap me. Most ignored me, including Apollo. Roxanne purposely hit me with her shoulder as she ran by.

 

I am almost certain though that Freddy cracked a smile when he passed me.

 

Whether he wanted to show that I wasn’t alone, or he found my current state of near death humorous, I don’t know. But I’m going with the latter.

 

Unfortunately.

 

       It was the fifth lap where I tripped, knocked over Roxy, and then fell on top of her.

 

Class is just oozing out of me.

 

       “Sorry!” I squeaked. She glared at me, her brown eyes bright with anger.

 

       “Why are you such a fucking klutz?” Roxanne screeched and pushed me off roughly. She ran off muttering ‘stupid bitch’ and ‘bloody whore’.

 

FML. 

 

Roxanne and I have always been pretty good friends. Being the only two girls on the quidditch team gave us a bond. Now she was just being well…a bitch.

 

Why are these bitches always hatin on me? They tryin to ruin my flow? Ya feel me, homie?

 

Did you appreciate my attempt at being ghetto, Albert?

 

I enjoyed it quite a bit myself.

 

Somehow, I managed to scrape up my knees pretty badly and cut open my hand on a rock when I feel.

 

I honestly have shit for luck.

 

Life is rough.

 

My hand was bleeding. I didn’t have any bandages, and since I wasn’t about to go ask James for something, I used the sleeve of my sweatshirt to try and stop the bleeding.

 

Brilliant. You know I always wanted a blood stained sweatshirt.

 

Oh I am just so sarcastic today, aren’t I, Albert?

 

“Fuck.” I muttered under my breath when the bleeding still wouldn’t stop.

 

“Give me your hand.” Someone sighed. I looked up, and Apollo had his wand out. He was noticed my confused expression, and raised an eyebrow as if to say, “Well, are you going to give me your hand to heal or are you just going to look at me?”

 

I shakily placed my palm, turned upwards, in his.

 

I tried not to show that I was practically shitting my pants because he was helping and talking to me.

 

He set to work, muttering spells and charms under his breath.

 

I glanced up, and he was avoiding my gaze, only concentrating on repairing my wound.

 

“There, all done.”

 

“Thank you.” I said gratefully, and caught his eye for a split second before he quickly looked away. Apollo didn’t respond. Instead, he heaved himself up, and started to go back to his running.

 

“Apollo…” I said, my voice breaking.

 

He turned around with a hard expression on his face. “Don’t,” was all he said, emotionlessly, before jogging away.

 

You have no idea how much will power it took not to burst into tears right then and there.

 

I am a sad excuse for a human being.

 

No comment was necessary, Albert.







 

“So how was practice?” Dom asked me, barely glancing up from her most recent copy of Witch Weekly as I stomped into the room, exhausted, grumpy, and pissy.

 

“It was the worst practice of my life, and I hate you with all of my brain for making me go.”

 

“All of your brain? I thought that the expression was ‘all of my heart?’” Dom questioned, cocking her head to the side slightly.

 

“Yes, Dominique,” I sighed tiredly. “That is the normal expression, but as of right now, all of the bloody hatred in my bloody heart is being bloody reserved for every bloody person on my bloody quidditch team!” I exclaimed just a tad bitterly.

 

“Say bloody one more time.” Dom smirked annoyingly.

 

“BLOODY!” I screamed, and collapsed back on my bed in frustration.

 

“Tell ol’ Dommy dear what happened,” She said in an irritating cooing voice as she climbed onto my bed, and started to pat my head in a patronizing way.

 

“Don’t touch me.” I growled, glaring up at her in very scary way.

 

She giggled.

 

Poop.

 

 “Come on! What was so bad about it?” She asked, poking me in the cheek.

 

I smacked her hand away roughly before starting my story.

 

“It was awful. Roxanne was being a right bitch, Shane and James practically glared at me the whole time, and the rest of the team barely even looked at me!” I whined.

 

“Well, look on the bright side of it!” Dom exclaimed cheerfully.

 

Bright side?

 

“What’s the bright side of my whole entire quidditch team hating me and playing so badly that even the Puffs could beat us?” I pointed out reasonably.

 

She paused for a moment. “Hmm..Well, you’ve got some pretty nice legs.” Dom was looking up at the ceiling in concentration. I raised my eyebrow.

 

“And you like to eat cheesecake. Not many girls are unafraid to admit that these days. And I mean, you eat a lot of cheesecake. Like honestly, it’s a miracle that you don’t way like eighty-seven million pounds!” She chirped, smiling widely as if she just helped me in some way.

 

Okay cool. So the bright side is that I have nice legs and that I like to eat cheesecake.

 

Is it just me or does that not make any sense whatsoever?

 

It’s not just me?

 

Grand.

 







 

“Whore.”

 

“Traitor.”

 

“Slut.”

 

I tried to block out the harsh whispers that I heard as I walked into the Great Hall with Noah holding my hand.

 

I told him. I told him that this would happen.

 

But he just insisted on eating with, well, actual, you know, people.

 

I, on the other hand, was perfectly content on eating in the kitchen as we’ve been doing since Hogsmeade.

 

You see, the cute little house elves don’t give a rat’s arse about quidditch or any dumb house drama so they still shower me with yummy food without calling me a buttload of bloody names.

 

I enjoy the house elves.

 

And of course, I couldn’t sit with the Gryffindors so I was stuck eating dinner with the Claws, half of which were reading or studying.

 

Kill me now please and thank you.

 

“I knew this was a bad idea!” I muttered to Noah as we sat down at the Ravenclaw table. I could practically feel the Gryffindor glares burning into my back.

 

“Calm down. It’s not even that bad.” He said, rolling his eyes before turning to talk to his quidditch mates.

 

Such a sassy person.

 

I was sticking my tongue out at his back, when I heard an “Aphrodite?”

 

Athena plopped down in the seat next to me looking confused. “What are you doing here? I thought you said that all Ravenclaws are boring arse motherfuckers?”

 

Surrounding Claws glared at me.

 

Athena raised an eyebrow, and tried to hide a grin.

 

Whoa, who knew that my sister could be such a devious, conniving little bitch?

 

I think I like her.

 

“I don’t recall, sister dearest. Perhaps you are confusing me with someone else?” I said in my best innocent voice, which still sounded guilty.

 

“Perhaps.” She repeated, and grinned widely.

 

See, when I’m not pissing her off, and when she’s not screaming like a banshee, she’s actually pretty chill.

 

This doesn’t happen very often so get excited.

 

“So how does it feel to be the outcast of Gryffindor?” Athena asked jokingly, I assume, pouring herself a cup of pumpkin juice.

 

Why don’t you stab me in the heart while you’re at it, Athena?

 

I didn’t respond, and looked down dejectedly, pushing peas around on my plate. 

 

“Ooh, too soon?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“No shit.” I hissed, glaring at her.

 

She turned to me, giving me her full attention. “Apollo can’t be mad at you forever. You know that. Hell, nobody can be mad at you forever, even me. For some reason, it’s impossible to be angry with you for more than a week.” Athena pursed her lips in thought.

 

“It’s almost as if there is like some sort of wonky, annoying arse curse that prevents somebody from being pissed at you for too long. Cause seriously? No matter how bloody annoying you are, I always have to forgive you. Always.” She said, putting a hand on my knee.

 

“Apollo can only be mad at you for so much longer. It’ll blow over, I promise.” Athena said all of this very sincerely and sweetly.

 

It amazes me that she can pull all this sentimental shit out of her arse.

 

It’s a gift that only Athena could possess, and I loved her for it.

 

That’s when I tackled her with a hug. Well, tackled as much as I could while sitting on a bench, but still.

 

I missed my sister. I need to spend more time with this chick.







A/N: Please do not kill me! I know this chapter was absolutely awful and full of poop, but I was just trying to get it done so you guys didn’t abandon me and my horrid updating schedule!

 

I have a new story though! That should compenscate for the badness right? RIGHT?! It’s called Enemies with Benefits and it’s a Freddy II/OC. Check it out if you get the chance!

 

Review to let me know that you still kinda/sorta love me? (: 


Chapter 10: Annoying Boyfriends, Evil Plans, and Forgiveness
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“But you have to go,” Dom whined. “You’re one of her best friends!”

 

I sighed tiredly. “I was one of her best friends, Dominique. Was. Emphasis on the past tense.”

 

“Oh please, Rosie still loves you. She just doesn’t know it yet.”

 

That takes the cake for the biggest bunch of bullshit that I’ve heard all day.

 

I glared at Dom. “If she actually wanted me at her birthday party, then she would’ve told me herself. She wouldn’t have gone to one of the two remaining people in Gryffindor that is still talking to me, and said, ‘If Price isn’t off fucking Davies, then she can come, I suppose.’ Shit doesn’t work like that, Dom.”

 

“It does if you have the right attitude!” Dom exclaimed brightly.

 

It made me want to smack her.

 

Very, very hard.

 

“Well, either way, I’m not bloody going.”  I said in a rough voice, leaning back on my library chair, and folding my arms across my chest.

 

“Fine,” Dom said in a disappointed voice. “I guess I’ll just have to go by myself.” She looked down dejectedly, and sighed.

 

Seriously? I’ve known her for years, and she thinks I don’t recognize her signature guilt trip?

 

I’m appalled.

 

“Really, Dom? Really?” I said, bored by her attempts.

 

She just didn’t want to bloody quit though.

 

“I just thought that maybe you’d want to do this one little, small favor for me considering that most of my family is upset with me because I’m still friends with you.” She said in the same sad voice, sighing dramatically for theatrics.

 

Oh balls.

 

Does your best friend ever do this to you, Albert? Throw in the guilt trips so that you do something that you really, really don’t want to do? Because it’s bloody evil.

 

“Fine!” I sighed heavily, and contemplated smashing my head against the table.

 

I did, and realized that it was a probably a stupid thing to do as I got a giant headache instantly.

 

For the record, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

“Thank you, Eggs! You won’t regret it, I promise!” She squealed, suddenly done being ‘sad’, and attacked me with a hug.

 

Won’t regret it. Yeah, fat chance.




 

“So when were you going to tell me about Rose’s party on Saturday?” Noah asked randomly in the middle of our conversation about cheese.

 

It was actually quite thrilling, let me tell you.

 

We were discussing our favorite types. Mine is mozzarella, and his is cheddar. And then I was like, ew, how can you like cheddar? And he was like, well, it’s a lot better than stupid mozzarella. And then I was like, you’re stupid. And then he was like, no, you’re stupid.

 

But that whole conversation is beside the point.

 

“Why would I deem it necessary to tell you?” I asked slightly nervously because I was sensing an upcoming fight.

 

For reals, we fight all the time. We’ve only been dating a week and we fight like we’re some old married couple that pretends to like each other, but really fights all the time, and the only thing interesting thing that they can seem to find to talk about comes from a cow.

 

It’s a riveting life style choice.

 

“Maybe because I’m your bloody boyfriend?” He nearly yelled causing the attention of the other Claws in his common room.

 

He’s so fucking dramatic. I’m the one with the boobs in the relationship. Shouldn’t I be the dramatic one?

 

“Well, it’s not like you can go, so what would be the point in telling you?” I asked reasonably.

 

“What do you mean I’m not going?” Noah asked, his eyebrows furrowing together as if he was genuinely confused.

 

Is he serious? Is he seriously serious right now?

 

I nearly laughed. Okay, I did laugh, which only seemed to confuse and annoy him even more.

 

“It could be that my entire house hates you, and if we showed up together, I’m fairly certain that they’d chuck party favors at our heads.”

 

Hey, I had a point there.

 

“So you’re embarrassed of me?” He said, and frowned.

 

Yeah, that’s it. I’m bloody embarrassed of you. It’s not the fact that I don’t want my house to kill you or maybe the fact that I don’t want them to hate me even more? No. It’s because I’m bloody embarrassed of you.

 

Because that makes so much fucking sense.

 

My boyfriend is a dipshit.

 

“I’m not embarrassed of you,” I said, rolling my eyes.

 

“Then why can’t I go with you?” He asked in a demanding voice.

 

I sighed, knowing that I was fighting a losing battle. “Fine, you can bloody come.”

 

His face broke out in a huge grin, and he kissed my lips quickly before standing up abruptly. “Thanks Pricey! I have to go work on my Charms essay.”

 

Then he fucking left, leaving me alone with a bunch of Ravenclaws.

 

Awesome boyfriend I have. Just bloody awesome.







“Please wear it, Eggs.” Dom pleaded, practically getting on her knees.

 

She was holding up a strapless, short black dress that had intricate patterns woven throughout the soft material. It’s not that I didn’t love the dress, it was gorgeous, it’s just that it was one of those attention-seeking dresses.

 

I could just tell that my boobs would practically be shoved up to my chin if I wore it, and that my legs would look a thousand miles long. I really wasn’t looking to be stared at tonight.

 

“Dom,” I sighed, looking at the dress again, and wanting desperately to just stay in my sweats and sleep all night.

 

“At least try it on,” She begged, pushing the dress into my arms, and not really giving me a choice as she shoved me into the bathroom.

 

Bitch.

 

At least we were lucky to get the whole room to ourselves because Rose was getting ready with Lily in the 4th Year dorms, and Alex and Lizzie were getting dressed with some of their 7th Year friends.

 

I put on the dress, and looked at myself through the full-length mirror that Alex insisted on having so she could stare at herself for hours upon hours of the day.

 

Well, I was right about the boob and leg thing, but the surprising thing is that I didn’t look trashy. I mean, the dress showed more than enough of the parts that guys wanted to see, but I didn’t look like one of those girls that girls would be like ooh slut.

 

Dom is a genius.

 

When I walked back into the room, Dom was finishing up putting on her own dress, which was a one shoulder black dress with a dangerously low back.

 

Her blonde hair was already done, and cascading down her back in soft, gentle waves. She was only wear a little bit of make up that included mascara, lip-gloss, and just a touch of blush.

 

She looked beautiful, but what else is new?

 

“You look great!” Dom exclaimed, her face bursting in happiness, as she led me over to her make up chair so she could do my hair and make up.

 

I usually fight her more about this kind of stuff, although she did have to put a body bind hex on me to put on the mascara of death, but I was simply too nervous for the party to be running away from the other things.

 

My palms were sweating like crazy and I kept having minor internal panic attacks about people throwing things at Noah and me.

 

Dom twisted my hair off to the side into a low, purposefully messy, bun thing that actually looked really pretty. She added a small amount of smoky gray eye shadow and generous amounts of mascara to make my eyes look mysterious, dark, and alluring. She put on a faint amount of blush that gave my cheeks slightly more color than they usually did, and just a touch of lip-gloss.

 

When I looked in the mirror, I decided that Dom seriously needed to go into some form of cosmetology when she got out of Hogwarts.

 

“Tonight is going to be fun, okay?” Dom smiled encouragingly at me, and took my hands in hers.

 

“Right.” I laughed sardonically as she led me down the stairs into the common room to where the party was being held.

 

When we walked in, the party was already in full swing. Everyone around us was in either black or white as it was one of those parties where everyone is forced to wear drab, boring colors while the birthday girl got to ‘shine’ in some sort of bright color.

 

I, personally, thought that it was a stupid idea, but hey, whatever floats Rosie’s boat on her special day.

 

Dom ditched me to go dance with some attractive Hufflepuff so I was left awkwardly standing by myself, trying to avoid the glares and stares of everybody around me.

 

I started to people watch AKA creep on fellow students doing weird or dumb things due to alcohol or just plain stupidity. It was actually pretty enjoyable.

 

I watched Louis get smacked across the face by some chit that he grabbed the arse of.

 

I saw Lily throw up on some random guy’s shoes, and then laugh like a maniac. Damn, it’s only nine fucking thirty and she’s already smashed. Liiiiiiggghhhtttt weiiighhhtttt!

 

Then I watched Al yell at Lily for getting hammered like the protective older brother that he is, while she just giggled and prodded his face with her finger.

 

James then came over looking furious at his sister, and started scolding her for drinking. He looked amazing in his black dress pants and white button down shirt, and he somehow managed to rock a black bowtie.

 

It physically hurt to look at him. It physically hurt even more when I scanned the room and noticed that Apollo was looking at me. Well, more like looking at my outfit.

 

No doubt, this is exactly what is going through his mind: She is going to get raped in the dress! How could she wear that thing? She’ll have boys all over her…I’ll kill them.

 

I caught is infuriated gaze, and he looked like he was about to start reprimanding me, but decided against it. Instead, he glared at something behind me.

 

I didn’t have to turn around to find out that it was Noah because he wrapped his arms around my waist. I turned in his arms to mutter a quick hello, and when I glanced back, Apollo was gone.

 

I sighed, and Noah held up a glass that was full of a red liquid. “Need a drink?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

Firewhiskey.

 

I gladly accepted, and down the bitch in less than three seconds.

 

It burned, but then the warm feeling that I needed so much warmed my body, and started to relieve the stress I felt.

 

I smiled stupidly, and Noah smirked.

 

He went to fetch me more, and every time that somebody glared at us, I downed it faster. Noah refilled my drink over and over again as we danced together. Well, Noah was dancing, I was more twirling stupidly around in circles.

 

I hadn’t had such a good, carefree time in forever!

 

Well, more like a week, but still! I was having a blast!

 

I even complimented Rosie on her dress! It was a bright, red that made her stand out like the little rose that she is!

 

I told her that, and she made a funny face at me! Can you believe that? I mean, how dare she make a funny face at me!

 

But it’s okay! Cause I’m so happy!

 

Noah gave me another glass of firewhiskey, and I drank it quickly. It didn’t even burn going down anymore!

 

Noah smirked as I giggled happily, and stumbled as he spun me around. He leaned down to kiss me, and I eagerly kissed him back. “Do you want to get out of here?” He asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

 

I think he meant that he wanted to snog, and he’s a good snogger so why the hell not! I giggled as he led me over to a set of steps that led upstairs, and the blaring music become more faint.

 

Noah kept leading me up and up and up and up until he finally opened up a door, and began snogging me like crazy. I closed my eyes as he directed me over to a random bed without breaking the kiss.

 

He fell back onto it with me on top of him, practically straddling him.

 

Hey Albert! You know what I discovered recently? That I really, really liked snogging!

 

Hey Albert! You know what I don’t like? When blokes get too bloody handsy and put their hands on my arse without permission.

 

I slightly came to my senses and detached my face from Noah’s and took in my surroundings. I looked to my left, and saw a novelty duck light sitting on a dress…Apollo’s novelty duck light.

I looked on the nightstand next to the bed that we were snogging. I saw an alarm clock, the marauders map, and a quidditch captain badge. James’ quidditch captain badge.

 



 

Shit.





 

JAMES’ POV

 

Note to self: Do not spike the drinks of a party that you know your little sister is going to.

 

I’m mean, seriously? I’d rather not watch my baby sister barf all over some bloke’s feet. I’d also rather not have to practically baby-sit her while all she wanted to do was bloody dance.

 

“No, Lily! You’re not going to go out there and get arse rapped by horny little shits!” I yelled as she tried and failed to escape again.

 

Her escape plan? Watching when I blinked, and then trying to run away when she saw me close my eyes for a split second.

 

My sister really wasn’t the sharpest crayon in the box if you are picking up what I’m putting down.

 

“Hey, man.” Shane said, and Apollo nodded in greeting as they plopped themselves down next to Lily and me on the couch. I just stared at the party morosely as I watched people dancing and having a great time.

 

I should be bloody having a good time too! But no! I’m stuck making sure my little sister doesn’t pass out and get trampled by oblivious drunk dancers.

 

This is arse.

 

Lily then proceeded to puke even more. I, thankfully, had given her a trash can previously, but it was still disgusting.

 

Bitch can hold her own bloody hair back.

 

Shane wrinkled his nose and said, “You need to teach her how to hold her liquor like a man.”

 

I snorted in agreement as Lily passed out on the couch with vomit on her chin.

 

Lovely.

 

“Did you guys see Aphrodite tonight?” Apollo asked suddenly, looking at his hands.

 

Ah, so that’s what was bugging him tonight.

 

I tensed slightly. I was still bloody pissed that she betrayed the team for that stupid fuck.

 

“Yeah, I did mate. She looked hot.” Shane said stupidly.

 

I tensed even more, and Apollo thumped him across the chest.

 

Shane only saw Biter as a little sister, but it was still a idiotic thing to say.

 

We both glared at him. Apollo, because he always glared at someone that found his little sisters attractive, and me…I guess just a protective thing.

 

For the record, she looked really, really pretty tonight, beautiful even. And hot. And even kind of sexy. Last year, if you would’ve told me that Aphrodite Price looked sexy, I would have laughed in your face and told you to back off my little sister, but this year, I kind had to agree.

 

Biter really grew up this year. She still had the maturity of a two year old, but looks wise, she was just different.

 

As much as I missed her, I was still furious about the whole Davies thing. She bloody well knew that we all despised him, and yet she still went on the fucking date with him!

 

It’s fucked up man, fucked up.

 

“I can’t believe you said that about my little sister!” Apollo growled getting into defensive brother mode.

 

I love that mode. Especially when it means that I get to beat up one of Lily’s boyfriends.

 

But before an argument could break out in which Shane would get hit a few times, a panicked looking first year came running over to us. She had light brown wavy hair and green eyes.

 

It was the firstie that Biter hung out with! “You’re Aphrodite’s brother right?” She asked Apollo frantically.

 

Random question: What was a bloody 1st year doing at a 4th year and up party?

 

Just wondering…

 

“Yes,” He said, getting into worried, paranoid brother mode.

 

“Well, she and that Davies bloke that everybody hates so much just went up the boy’s staircase, and I’m pretty sure that she is drunk cause he’s been shoving drinks down her throat like the whole entire night!” She said this all very quickly, but we got the gist.

 

Apollo, Shane, and I all exchanged worried and furious glances before jumping to our feet, and pushing through people to get to the staircase.

 

We charged through every room on our way up finding a lot of random couples snogging, but no sign of Davies and Biter.

 

We eventually reached our dorm room. The door was shut, but we could hear the voices of Davies and Biter.

 

Apollo and I were about to barge in and beat the living shit out of Davies, but for some reason Shane stopped us.

 

We shot him questioning looks, but he ignored us and motioned for us to listen.

 

“Get off of me.” Biter growled.

 

My eyebrows furrowed together, and Apollo’s jaw clenched.

 

“No.” Davies said simply, and I heard her squeak as if she was taken by surprise and pulled against him.

 

I unconsciously made an angry fist.

 

“Get the fuck off of my arm.” She shrieked sounding incredibly pissed. “You’re an arsehole!”

 

Finally, she sees the bloody light.

 

“You’re a bitch!” He retorted.

 

Douche move, bro.

 

“If I’m a bitch then why would you even ask me out in the first place?” She snapped.

 

“You act like I wanted to ask you out.” He scoffed, and laughed like the total shit that he was.

 

Wait what? I glanced at Apollo and Shane who also looked extremely confused.

 

“Excuse me?” Biter said. I could just see her eyebrow rising.

 

“What could be a better way to ruin the Gryffindor quidditch team, not to mention the house in general, than by dating the star seeker and precious little sister of Apollo Price?” He laughed again.

 

Apollo, at this point, was literally shaking in rage. Shane was holding him back from what will most likely be brutal murder. I will gladly help him with said murder.

 

“So this was all part of some big bloody plan?” Aphrodite asked, her voice falsely calm, trying to refrain from showing hurt.

 

“Of course it was. You didn’t actually expect me to like you?” He laughed once again as if it was hilarious to ever consider liking my Biter.

 

His laughter was cut off by the sound of a fist colliding with his face, and we took that as our invitation to intervene.

 

I got the first punch, and I successfully broke his already bloody nose. Apollo got him in the eye, and Shane delivered a nice sucker punch to the gut.

 

Biter was hugging her knees, sitting on my bed, with tears pouring down her face.

 

I guess the 1st year had told Fred, Louis, and Al about Biter and Davies too because they suddenly came running into the room also screaming, “What the fuck is going on?!”

 

Not knowing how much of a shit Davies is because they didn’t hear the conversation previous to us beating him up, they tried to pull us apart, but Apollo and I couldn’t get enough.

 

Al and Freddy had to physically hold us back. Louis escorted the fucker down the steps, well, more like he pushed him roughly towards the door as he tried to stop his freely running nose and mouth.

 

As soon as he was out of the room, Apollo went into comforting brother mode, sat down my bed, and pulled Biter to his chest. She cried even harder as she hugged him, and he smoothed her hair.

 

It was so sweet it almost made me want to puke up some rainbows.

 

But I don’t puke up rainbows cause I’m a man.

 

Al then went into apologetic best guy friend mode, and he took her hand, and just held it without saying a word.

 

Al always had a way to express his emotions really simply with his actions rather than words.

 

I, personally, think he’s a poof, but whatever.

 

Freddy went into pervy, try to make you laugh mode, and he commented on how she looked hot in her dress.

 

Apollo hit him, which made Biter give a watery laugh.

 

Shane went into his own type of funny bloke mode, and he started cracking jokes about stupid things that people did at the party. Biter laughed in earnest, and curled up more onto Apollo’s chest.

 

I didn’t leave my mode of infuriated jackarse, and I paced the room, muttering obscenities about wanting to peel the skin off of Davies’ face and then making him eat it or pulling his tongue out of his mouth, dragging it around his neck, and choking him with it.

 

It would be a right good time if you ask me.

 

I could barely handle the rage that I felt when I thought about the fact that Davies used Biter just to fuck up the team.

 

What bugged me even more is that he actually succeeded for a while.

 

“James, calm down, mate.” Shane said, causing Biter’s head to pop up and look at me.

 

She still had tears streaming down her face, and I let go of some of my anger when I saw her.

 

I took a deep breath, and unclenched my fists. I took one look at my bed and sighed, but also smiled in amusement.

 

Apollo and Biter were taking up the majority of it, but Al had part of his arse on it too, and then Shane and Freddy were sitting at the foot of it.

 

Oh hells to the no.

 

Before I could complain though, Dom and Rosie came charging into the room with their hair falling down, and panicked faces.

 

Looks like that 1st year got to them too.

 

“Eggs!” Dom screamed, and ran to the bed…*cough*…my bed, pushed Al to the side, and gave Biter a huge hug. Al let out an angry huff, and tried to push Dom back off, and get his spot back, but now Rosie was trying to get in on the action. She pulled them both off so she could give Biter a hug, but then Al and Rosie attacked her.

 

The three proceeded to get into a fight that involved many name-callings, screaming, biting, and kicking.

 

Everybody just watched with big grins on their faces, while I, being the incredibly nice cousin and brother that I am, just simply put an extending charm on my bed to make room for them all.

 

Everybody seemed shocked when the bed began to expand beneath him or her.

 

Looks like I’m the only one in this bloody school with a brain.

 

“You guys are all gits.” I smirked as I plopped myself next to Rosie, and put my arm around her shoulder.

 

After sitting and talking for about an hour, Rosie started to fall asleep on me. Dom fell asleep on Al. Shane went to his own bed, Freddy hijacked Apollo’s bed, and Louis slept at the bottom of the bed.

 

Apollo and Al fell asleep too, and I looked at Biter. I gave her a look that hopefully conveyed that I was sorry for making her life hell since Hogsmeade, and she gave me a weak smile before her eyelids slowly fluttered shut.

 

I sighed before closing my own eyes.

 

I just needed to get her alone so I could truly apologize.




 

A/N: I’m so incredibly sorry that this took me so long to write! I had massive writers block, and every time I attempted to write, I just stared blankly at my computer screen. But hey, everything is good now, right? So YAY!

 

Leave a review letting me know if you still love me, and what you thought about the chapter. I don’t think I did James very well, but maybe you guys thought differently!

 

 


Chapter 11: Sun Vomit, Balloon Animals, and Eggplant Head
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]


Being welcomed back into Gryffindor’s warm arms is a lot easier than you think because when your brother is part of the most popular trio in all of Hogwarts, then anything is pretty much easier than you think.

 

And I know that I should probably be way, way more pissed at all the people that were little shits to me in the past week, especially Al, Rosie, Fred, Louis, Apollo, Shane, and James, but being the forgiving person that I am, I couldn’t help but love them all again instantly.

 

Not to mention the fact that they were all practically drowning in guilt and they were treating me as if I was a queen.

 

Rosie let me use the shower first this morning and she didn’t even bitch when I used up all the hot water.

 

Al didn’t complain when I stole massive amounts of bacon off of his plate when there was none left on the platter.

 

Freddie and Louis complimented me twenty times more than usual, which had me in slightly creeped out, but I accepted it just because I missed the perverted fucks so much.

 

Shane, Apollo, and James barely even let my feet touch the ground because they gave me so many piggyback rides that I almost forgot what walking felt like.

 

I suppose when your best friend/girl that you perv on/little sister/surrogate little sister gets practically sexually assaulted and used to destroy a quidditch team, it really hits home.

 

I know it was only a week that we’d been in our little spat, but it felt like a lifetime. I forgot how much I deeply missed all of them.

 

I forgot how much it made me laugh when Fred and Louis made comments causing them to get hit and/or punched by Apollo.

 

I forgot how much I missed hearing Rosie rant about getting a fraction of a point off for a tiny little spelling error.

 

I forgot how much I loved when Al would grumble about needing bloke friends when we’d complain about periods or lady parts.

 

I forgot how much Shane would make me crack up just by the littlest input that he’d put into conversations.

 

But out of everyone, James and Apollo were by far the two people that I missed the most.

 

Apollo has always been my shoulder to cry on, and over the past week, I wasn’t able to have his shoulder if I needed it, which I desperately did.

 

Even now, when everything is fantastic again (well, other than the fact that git-faced Davies is still alive and kicking), it’s just nice to know that I can go to him if I’m ever upset or just need someone to talk to.

 

And then it is such a relief it is to be able to look James in the eye again without him glaring daggers at me and making me either want to shit my pants or break down in tears.

 

The way he looks at me now is the way that he used to look at me. With a sweet smile and twinkling eyes.

 

It’s the type of look that gives you butterflies the size of station wagons in the pit of your stomach, and it makes your heart beat as loud as the rock concert of a century.

 

Having him look at me like that again…I can’t even describe it.

Forgiveness is seriously bliss, Albert.

I’ve also made it a point to spend more time with Athena now that I know that she’s not always an uptight cow.

 

I hung out with her twice since the night of the party, which is a lot more than our usual zero.

 

I’ve also decided that instead of just screaming, ‘SUP DONNY! HOW’S SECOND YEAR KICKING!?’ in the hallway when I see him that I’m actually going to start talking to him more often.

 

“Oh dear Merlin, what is with all the yellow in here? It’s like the sun threw up!”

 

“It’s the Hufflepuff common room, Aphrodite. Of course it’s going to have a lot of yellow.”

 

“I know that, but seriously, it’s honestly like someone pissed out fifty gallons of lemonade all over here. It’s making me sick.”

 

“Oi! Stop insulting my common room! I happen to like the color yellow!”

 

“Well, duh. You’re a Puff. You have to like your own house color. Personally, yellow reminds me of piss and sun vomit.”

 

“Well, red reminds me of blood and Nana’s red, lacy knickers that Apollo found in her laundry basket two summers ago.”

 

“You’re gross.”

 

“You just said yellow reminded you of sun vomit!”

 

“I’d rather think about the sun puking than Nana’s knickers!”

 

“At least you didn’t have Apollo put them on your head! Do you know deeply scarred I was when he did that?! I’ll never look at Nana the same!”

 

“See, so you are gross talking about Nana’s knickers, and I’m the sane one.”

 

“You are far from sane.”

 

“That’s rude and I demand you take it back.”

 

“It’s called the truth, excuse me for telling it.”

 

“Take it back or I’ll turn your rat into a pencil!”

 

“Then I’ll just change it back. We learned that charm last week. If you’re going to threaten me, then at least do it with a sixth year curse.”

 

“You’re no fun.”

 

“At least I’m sane.”

 

That was me spending time with my little brother. Now you know why I don’t do it too often.





“Entertain me!”

 

“Aphrodite, quit whining at me. I’m in the middle of an essay.”

 

“You’ve been working on that essay for hours! I’m bored!”

 

“You have friends! Go bother them!”

 

“Bother? So my visits are bothering to you? How rude!”

 

“They’re only bothering when you irritate me in the middle of writing an essay and demand that I ‘entertain you’. I’m not a bloody clown. I’m not going to start doing tricks and make you balloon animals!”

 

“Ooh! Do you know how to make balloon animals? I’d like a giraffe, please.”

 

“Aphrodite, nobody knows how to make balloon animals except for clowns and creepy street performers. It’s not exactly a skill you learn in Charms class.”

 

“They should totally teach that. Maybe I’d actually enjoy going to class for once.”

 

“Where would making balloon animals get you later in life? What could you possibly do with that useless piece of information?”

 

“Don’t be such a poop! There’s plenty of things that I could do with a balloon animal making skill!”

 

“Such as?”

 

“I could entertain little kids…”

 

“That makes you sound like a child molester.”

 

“Entertain them with balloons! Don’t be dirty!”

 

“You’re the one that makes ‘that’s what she said jokes’ about every ten seconds. News flash, they are not funny at all.”

 

“Excuse me! That’s what she said jokes are a classic! They get a laugh like a quarter of the time!”

 

“More like an eighth.”

 

“You’re no fun.”

 

“You’re a nuisance.”

 

“You’re a boring old maid.”

 

“I’m fourteen. How is that an old maid?”

 

“It’s the principle of the thing.”

 

“That makes no sense whatsoever.”

 

“You’re face makes no sense.”

 

“I really wonder where you got your brains from. I mean, Mum and Dad are decently smart. Where did they go wrong with you?”

 

“That’s offensive.”

 

“It was meant to be.”

 

“At least I’m a kind hearted soul!”

 

“Yesterday, you told a first year to carry your books to Transfiguration or else you’d banish them to munchkin land where they belonged. That’s not a kind hearted soul in my book!”

 

“That’s because your definition of kind hearted is seriously warped.”

 

“In what way?”

 

“You think that Aunt Wanda is a sweet person.”

 

“She is!”

 

“She told Dad that he had chicken legs, Mum that her roast beef tasted like wet towels, Apollo that he was never going to get a girlfriend unless he learned to smile without looking constipated, me that it looked like my hair had a cat clawing through it, and Donny that he needed to learn how to set a table properly or else he’d never go anywhere in life.”

 

“Well, she never said anything bad about me!”

 

“That’s because she thinks you’re a bloody angel sent down from heaven.”

 

“That’s because I am.”

 

“You’re too cheeky for your own good.”

 

“And you’re too annoying for your own good.”

 

“Is that essay easy?”

 

“No, actually, it’s really hard.”

 

“That’s what she said!”

 

“You totally set me up!”

 

“It was funny, wasn’t it?”

 

“I hate you.”

 

Spending time with my little sister wasn’t as bad, but not by much.





“I think I’m going to dye my hair purple.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Purple, you know, like violets and eggplant. I’m going to dye my hair purple.”

 

“Why the fuck would you ever dye your hair purple, Ro? Your hair is pretty the way it is!”

 

“I just want a change, you know?”

 

“No, I don’t know! If you want a change then you buy a different pair of earrings, you don’t bloody dye your hair the color of eggplants! Do you want to go around being called ‘eggplant head’ for the rest of your life?”

 

“Merlin, calm down. I’m just yanking your wand. I’m not actually going to dye my hair purple.”

 

“Why do you do that shit to me, Ro?”

 

“It’s funny seeing you get worked up.”

 

“You find the cruelest ways to find amusement.”

 

“The cruelest ways are also the funniest ways.”

 

“Sometimes I think you’re actually Voldemort in disguise.”

 

“I think it would be pretty hard to get a create a new nose from nothing.”

 

“That’s true, I think the red eyes would be a slight give away too.”

 

“So are you convinced that I’m not Voldemort?”

 

“I suppose.”

 

“Are you sure? I could remove my mask and avada kedavra you right now if I wanted.”

 

“That’s really not something to joke about. My best friend and your three best friend’s parents or aunts and uncles are the ones that defeated him.”

 

“All the more reason to be able to joke about it. They killed him so we could kid around about his stupid looking lack of nose and creepy eyes later in life.”

 

“I’m fairly certain that that isn’t the reason that they defeated the darkest wizard of all time. You might want to brush up on your history of magic sometime.”

 

“History of magic is for nerds like Athena.”

 

“Very true. But Binns actually did something interesting for the first time in his life…well, after life, I guess.”

 

“What! What did he do!?”

 

“He farted, which I didn’t even think was possible for a ghost to do, and then after he did it, he kept teaching as if nothing happened. I don’t even think he realized he did it.”

 

“Are you sure it wasn’t just Shane making fart noises at random intervals during the day like last year?”

 

“Positive. The back of Binns’ robes even flew up a little bit with the air.”

 

“Okay, that’s disgusting. What would a ghost fart even smell like?”

 

“No clue, maybe they don’t even have smells. I couldn’t smell anything from Binns, but I was in the back of the room.”

 

“You do realize that we are having a conversation about what a ghost’s fart smells like.”

 

“I do, but I’m kind of enjoying it.”

 

“Even though it’s slightly repulsive?”

 

“Why of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less from a conversation with you.”

 

“I don’t know whether or not to be insulted by that last statement.”

 

“Be positive and choose not to be insulted.”

 

“I don’t know, I’m feeling a bit negative at the moment, and I’m thoroughly insulted.”

 

“Didn’t Mum ever tell you to look at the goblet half full?”

 

“Yes, but when have I ever listen to Mum?”

 

“Right, didn’t think about that one.”

 

“Perhaps you should consider these things next time.”

 

“Sorry to let you down.”

 

“It’s okay, you’ll just have to repay me in cheesecake.”

 

“You don’t need anymore cheesecake.”

 

“Are you calling me fat?”

 

“No, I’m just saying-“

 

“Are you calling me fat?”

 

“No! It’s just that cheesecake is really unhealthy-“

 

“Are you calling me fat?”

 

“For the millionth time, no!”

 

“Technically, that wasn’t the millionth time, it was only the third time.”

 

“Why do you have to be so irritating?”

 

“Because you like it.”

 

“Sorry to burst that bubble, love, but I really don’t.”

 

“Yes, you do. That’s why I’m your favorite family member.”

 

“See, that’s where you have it wrong. On the contrary, Finnick is my favorite family member.”

 

“Our old dead dog doesn’t count.”

 

“It would be an insult to his memory not to count him!”

 

“Why are you such a git?”

 

“Because you like it.”

 

Spending time with my older brother is by far my favorite.





A/N: So this was a major filler chapter that had no point whatsoever, but it’s a chapter nonetheless, right? It was also a chapter that was completely pulled out of my ass in one night and I literally wrote down whatever was flowing through my head so I apologize if it’s really weird. I hope you like it though.

 

Did you like all the siblingness? Or their strange conversations? Leave me a review to let me know, and also what your favorite lines were!

 

Oh, and speaking of reviews, HOLY TONS OF REVIEWS ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER!? As of now, it is 99, and I can’t even believe it! Almost 100 reviews for one chapter!? That’s amazing! Thank all of you so much! I love you in the least creepy way possible. (:

 

I have a new story out, by the way! It’s another James/OC and it’s called Roomies. You should check it out if you get the chance! 


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