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P.S. I love you by Malfoyx14

Format: Novella
Chapters: 2
Word Count: 4,274
Status: Abandoned

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

Genres: Drama, Romance, Angst
Characters: Harry, Hermione, Draco
Pairings: Draco/Hermione

First Published: 03/03/2010
Last Chapter: 03/10/2010
Last Updated: 03/10/2010

Getting pregnant at 16, Hermione dives into her final year at Hogwarts with a toddler on her hip. The battle is over, the war done, but Hermione can't help feeling as though everything was about to fall apart. And Draco Malfoy, the father of her son, has the power to either build Hermione up or tear her down. Dramione

Chapter 1: Prologue: The Little Pink Plus Sign
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I sat in the bathroom checking the Muggle pregnancy test for the third time this week. The little pink plus sign was visible. It was there, mocking me; reminding me of my mistake. I chucked it in the trashcan, forced to face the fact that I was pregnant. And I had a pretty good idea to whom it was. For I’d only had sex once in my life. Just a few weeks ago, to be exact. I felt awful about it. It shouldn’t have happened.

Sighing, I stood up and exited the bathroom, instantly swarmed by hundreds of students roaming the corridors of Hogwarts. I joined in, knowing I had to tell someone about it. I was going to explode if I didn’t. But there was no way I could tell…him. The father. I shuddered. Harry. I could tell him. But he might not understand. He wouldn’t get why I did what I did. But, I mean I could tell Ginny, though she wasn’t one of my best friends. We were growing closer, but I didn’t feel safe confiding in her just yet. She was a little headstrong.


I turned to see Harry running after me, his unruly black hair flying amuck.

“Where’ve you been?” he panted.

“Oh, just in the bathroom,” I told him honestly.

“Ah…” He lost interest. “So, Snape’s homework is so unfair! I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. You know, what with the DA meetings and Umbridge and everything.”

“Well, you know Snape. But anyway, do you think we could talk? You know, alone somewhere?” I asked slowly.

“Uh, sure… Is everything okay?” Harry wondered.

“Um, kinda. Come with me.” I led him down a few hallways and out into the brisk October air. He followed me down to the pond and we both sat against tree trunks facing each other.

“Alright, what is it?”

“Okay…well…don’t get mad at me…it wasn’t my fault…well I guess it was…” I began nervously. Harry waited patiently. I took a deep breath. “I’m… Harry, I’m pregnant…”

A cloud of silence coated us. Harry obviously hadn’t registered what I just told him. He stared at me and I watched the pieces click together in his mind. His mouth dropped open.

“Are…are you sure? You‘re…you‘re pregnant?

I nodded. “Pretty positive.” I faked a smile.

“Oh my God, Hermione!“ He raised an eyebrow at me. “To who?”

The smile instantly dropped to a frown. I’d been hoping he wouldn’t ask the question. But of course he would. Anyone person in their right mind would ask that.

“Don’t judge me, Harry. It was a moment of lose of control. It shouldn’t have happened. Merlin, I’m so stupid.” I muttered.

He just stared at me.

“Okay, well…well it’s Malfoy!” I spit out, tears welling in my eyes. Again, Harry just stared at me. I had to explain myself before he got a chance to speak. “Harry, before you get mad, you must know that it wasn’t my intentions! It’s not like I like him or anything. It just happened. I regret every moment of it. Oh Harry, please don’t be mad at me…” I trailed off, tears streaming out of my eyes. It was a few minutes before he spoke.

“Wait, did you just say… Oh my God! Merlin, Hermione! You slept with, with Malfoy?

“Yes! I did! And Harry, I’m not proud of it. I’ve wish every day since I did it that I didn’t do it. Like I said, I lost control. I’m so sorry!” I cried. I knew sorry didn’t even cover half of what I’d done. But it was the only thing I could think of saying. As I sat there looking at him, watching all the emotions move across his face, I came to a conclusion: He hated me. There was no way he couldn’t. I’d slept with his enemy! I deserved his hate. He had every right to walk away from me and never talk to me again.

Harry looked at me and spoke through clenched teeth. “Was it you or him who…started it?”

I sighed and dived into the tale. I told him how Malfoy pulled me aside to talk about something of no importance, of how I was so fed up with everything that was going on, of how mad I was and I’d just kissed him.

“…and he took it to something more. But I‘m not going to lie to you, I can‘t lie to you. I had as much part in it as he did. I can‘t blame him for my actions,” I finished. He was silent for a moment. I braced myself for what would come next.

“You know, you’re a good person. I’ve always admired you for that, Hermione,” he said quietly.

Good person? What was he talking about? “Harry, have you been listening to this conversation? I’m not a good person! I slept with Malfoy! Malfoy!” I shrieked and abruptly covered my mouth with my hand, glancing around to see if anyone heard it. Fortunately, the grounds were deserted except for a few second years who were roaming around further away.

Harry took a deep breath. “Yes, I have been listening. Yeah, you made a mistake, but you’re not trying to put all the blame on Malfoy. You’re taking the consequences of your actions. Yes, I’m pretty mad that you would choose Malfoy as your first, but it’s in the past and…I can’t change that. Plus, I’ve got enough to deal with as it is. I don’t need to be freaking out about this.

“And no, Hermione, I don’t hate you. But I do need some time to mull this over. It’s a lot and I just can’t tell you how I feel right now. I’m still trying to process everything you just told me. I just can’t wrap my mind around why you would sleep with Malfoy. But, then again, it was your choice, not mine and you can do what you want. Though, in the mean time, I’m gonna go kick his butt!” Harry started to rise, his face flushing red. It happened all so quickly. One minute he was talking to me normally and in the next his face was scarlet and determined. I grabbed his arm and yanked him back down.

“Please don’t. He’ll ask questions. And I’m not ready to tell him I’m pregnant. I…I need to do it myself. I hope you understand.”

His face flushed again but he swallowed his anger. “Alright, but once you do, I am going to murder him.” Harry ran his fingers through his black hair. “Merlin, I just don’t get it! No offense, but I don’t understand how you could be so stupid and just let your guard down like that, especially in Malfoy’s presence.”

I dropped my head guiltily. “I know. But…you’re still my friend, right?”

Harry stared at me incredulously. “Our friendship has no conditions. Yes, I’m extremely angry, but how could you think that I wouldn’t be friends with you? We all make mistakes…though this is pretty bad….but…look I gotta go.”

Tears glazed my eyes once more. “Just don’t tell Ron,” I murmured as they leaked over and rolled down my cheeks. Harry nodded and stalked off. I sat there and full out cried for a little while. Why did this happen to me? It just wasn’t fair. Life had been perfect up until now. Then I just had to go and screw it up. Sleeping with Malfoy was the worst possible thing I could’ve done.

Days passed. Still, I hadn’t told Draco. I couldn’t face him. A few times I’d thought about it, but when I got around him, his sneering, snarky manner scared me, thinking that he would just laugh in my face. Harry had come around. He still hung out me, talking to me, asking for my help with homework. But, not once, did he mention the pregnancy matter. Ron was still oblivious. I couldn’t tell him. Not now. Maybe in a while. I wanted to deal with the father before I told him.

Lately, I’d been feeling tired. I had frequent headaches and backaches. And I even vomited yesterday morning. I also had a strong craving for watermelon and longingly wished it wasn’t February. Harry had been supportive. He’d done things for me that I couldn’t do or just needed help with.

“So, are you planning to tell any girlfriends about this? Or am I gonna have to help you forever?” he asked. I gave him a shocked look. “Not that I don’t mind helping you. It’s good,” he added hastily.

“As you may know, I don’t have many girlfriends. I’m sort of a knew-it-all, remember?” I muttered.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. “So, have you told Malfoy yet?”

I dropped my gaze to the floor.

“I’ll take that as a no. If you want my opinion, you should just tell him. Get it over with.” His voice dropped so I couldn’t tell if he was talking to me or himself. “He better help out, the git. He got you like this…”

“I know! And that’s what I’m worried about! It would be typically Malfoy to just walk away, smirking, leaving me with my problems. After all, I’m the one carrying the baby. It’s my problem.”

“No it’s not. Well, partially. It’s just as much Malfoy’s problem as your’s. He got you pregnant, the idiot,” Harry told me seriously.

“So! He can just walk away, Harry! He doesn’t have this!” I indicated to my flat stomach, which soon would start getting bigger. “And because I’m carrying the baby, I’ll have to raise it, unless I give it up for adoption! It’s not like I could just give it to Malfoy and force him to take it. This kid is forced upon me!”

Harry sighed. “I suppose you’re right. But still, if Malfoy doesn’t offer his help, I’ll make him.”

“No, no, it’s alright. I mean, it is his choice,” I mumbled.

“Yeah, well you didn’t have a choice. So neither should he!” Harry fumed. He was always the one who hated injustice. I smiled at that. “Hermione, I’ll be here for you, whatever happens.”

“Thanks Harry. I truly don’t deserve a friend like you.” I threw my arm around his neck as we walked in the direction of the common room. We past through a few corridors and up and few flights of stairs.

“Hermione, look.” Harry pointed down the hall. There, Malfoy was heading the way we just came from. “Ready? Come on, go. I’ll be lingering over here, if you need me.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. Malfoy walked by us, not taking much notice to us, standing there, watching him walk by. Harry gave me the shove I needed and I hurried after the Slytherin Prince, shouting, “Malfoy!” as I went. After I said his name for the third time, he stopped and spun around.

“Granger? What do you want?”

I twiddled my thumbs nervously. “Um, I needed to tell you something.” I glanced back at Harry, who was peering around a corner at us. He jerked his head, indicated for me to continue.

“Really? What could you possibly have to tell me?” Draco asked in his mocking tone. I had a sudden urge to disappear. He wouldn’t understand. There was no way. I flushed scarlet.

“Look, can you tell me today sometime? I’m tired. Had a busy day so I’d like to go to bed,” he told me.

My stomach churned. I dropped my hand to my abdomen, glanced down, and then back at him. He looked from my stomach to my face, skeptically.

“I don’t know how you’re going to take this…but I’m…oh, I’m pregnant!” I blurted out. “There, it’s out there.”

Malfoy didn‘t say anything right away. But then he smirked. “Well, well, well, pregnant, eh? I didn’t think that was legal in your book. I mean, prefect grades, prefect record… Boy, I didn’t think you were such a…bad girl…” he mused.

“You don’t even care?” I asked. I couldn’t help but feel shocked, even though I expected it.

“Why should I care? And why are you even telling me this?” he wondered.

I took a deep breath. “You should care because…the babies…your’s…” I watched his face, looking for any change in his expression. Unfortunately, he was good at hiding his emotions, except in his eyes. His grey eyes went from shock, to anger, to fear, and back to anger.

“M-mine? Are you positive?

“I’ve only had sex with you,” I murmured. He sighed furiously. Obviously he was wondering how he could’ve been so careless.

“Are you positive that you’re pregnant?” he asked through clenched teeth. His face was paler than usual.

“Well, that is what the little pink plus sign means on the Muggle pregnancy test, am I correct?” I laughed with out humor. He stared at me questioningly. “Oh, right…that and I went to Madam Pomfrey a few days ago and she confirmed it. I’m pregnant.”

Draco spun around on his heel, his head bent up towards the ceiling and his hands over his face. “Oh good Lord! Granger, you can’t be pregnant! It’s just not…possible!” He stopped and stared at me, his face actually pained.

“Well, apparently it is and I can and I am,” I mumbled sadly. He was not meant to be my first.

“How long have you known?”

“Since last week,” I said.

“Can we discuss this tomorrow? I’m tired and I can’t think straight.”

I nodded and watched Draco turn and disappear down the corridor. Harry emerged from the corner and stood beside me. I shrugged and we both headed up to the Gryffindor common room to get ready for bed. The room was deserted. It was later than I expected it to be. I bade Harry goodnight and climbed the stairs, wearily, to the girls’ dormitories. I changed and collapsed on my bed, thoughts of the day swimming on the surface of my mind. My dreams consisted of Draco and a baby, who wouldn’t stop crying. Face it, I wasn’t ready for motherhood.

A/N Hey guys, review if you liked it. I am sort of liking this story :) haha but just to clear something up, this chapter is back in Hermione's 5th year at Hogwarts. The next chapter and all take place during her 7th year, unless I happen to put in a flashback.

Chapter 2: Christopher Jackson Malfoy
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A/N Um, Dumbledore is still alive. That's really the only difference. This is now the 7th year and where the story will stay. :)

“Alright, Chrissy. Ready?”

I shifted my beautiful baby boy, Christopher, who was now over two years old, on my hip and after saying goodbye to my parents for the last time, Apparated to Platform 9 ¾. The platform was bustling with students, young and old. Chris stared around, taking in the scene. I was so thankful Dumbledore had agreed to let me bring him to Hogwarts. Although my parents offered to keep him with them, he was my responsibility since I decided to let him stay with me. Plus, I would miss him way to much. Over the summer and breaks, I’d grown extremely fond of the little boy. I loved him dearly. He was my baby and I couldn’t part from him for several months at a time. I needed to be the mother he needed. I wanted him to grow up with me as his mom, not my mother.

The fact that the war was over made me feel happy. The air on the platform was light and giddy. We didn’t have anything to worry about this year. But, knowing Harry, he’d find someway to upset the balance of the school. Smiling, Harry came darting at me, his hair as untidy as ever. I giggled and he hugged me tightly.

“Hello, Hermione! How was your summer?”

“It was good. Busy, but good,” I replied. Harry eyed the boy in my hands and grinned.

“This him then?” he asked. No one had ever seen Chris here. He had lived with my parents once I gave birth and he went with them when I sent them away last year. And now that he was over two, I thought it would be okay for him to come along with me.

I nodded. “Mhmm, this is Christopher.” Malfoy, I thought to myself. Christopher Malfoy… Draco had been a big help while I was pregnant. He’d actually cooperated, to my surprise. It was nice to have an extra set of hands to help me out. Then last year, Draco didn’t even get to see him, considering he was locked up at home with my parents. I didn’t know how that made him feel, but I guessed I would find out soon.

“Wow, scary. It’s like I’m looking at Malfoy right now,” Harry commented. “But there’s no lying, he is adorable.”

Chris had Draco’s very blonde hair but my curls. His eyes were grey, like his daddy’s and he was pale. I knew he would grow up to be tall and handsome. I couldn’t lie, Malfoy was good-looking.

I laughed. “I know, it is a little scary.”

“Well, come on, let’s get an compartment.” Harry led the way. I grabbed my luggage and hurried after him. As I entered the train, I was greeted by a cloud of eyes. Everyone was staring at me and Christopher. The little boy just gazed around curiously. This was one thing I wasn’t going to enjoy: the stares and whispers because I was a teenage mom. I scowled. It was pathetic. So, I made a mistake. Everyone does. But, now that I have the boy in my arms, I don’t regret it. Christopher was a blessing, not a punishment.

“In here,” Harry ordered. He shut the glass door, placed our luggage on the racks above our heads, and then sat down opposite of me. I rested Christopher in my lap and glanced around.

“Where’s Ron?”

“He got caught up with McGonagall. Apparently she was to have a chat with him in the teacher compartment,” Harry explained. I raised my head in understanding and then raised and an eyebrow. “I dunno what for.”

“Oh, okay.” Knowing Ron, it was probably something with grades or a class or Transfiguration.

“So are you gonna let Malfoy meet his kid before we get busy with school?” Harry wondered.

“Yeah, I would like to but I don’t want to go to his compartment. You know with Pansy and Goyle and all them. I just don’t want to deal with them. If he wants, he can come down here,” I told him.

“Right. Malfoy’s friends wouldn’t be people I would want my son around,” Harry agreed. I smiled and glanced out the window to watch the scenery racing by. I sighed.

“I just wish people wouldn’t stare me down.”

“They’ll get used to it, Hermione. Anyway, now you’ll know how I felt last year and the year before and the first year. People got used to me, until the story got out about Voldemort being back.” Harry shook his head.

“I guess your right. If anyone knows, you do.” I smiled at Christopher and cooed, making him laugh. The rest of the train ride continued in this fashion. Ron never showed up. I began to wonder but pushed it from my mind, knowing I’d see him on the platform in Hogsmeade. Draco didn’t show. I supposed he had other things to worry about, though I didn’t know what could be more important than your son. But, to each his own.

Once the train eased into Hogsmeade station, Harry and I gathered our bags and exited the compartment. Christopher was rather quiet the whole ride. He wasn’t much of a whiner. I think he got that from me. He also didn’t talk much. He occasionally said a few words, but I think he preferred not to. The eyes didn’t so much as bother me this time. Once off the train, I was too busy looking for Ron to worry about it.

“Ron!” I shouted when I saw him gathering his things farther down the platform. He was standing under the glow of a light. I smiled at him, but he frowned when I came over.

“So this is him then? The little Malfoy?” he asked crossly.

I, too, frowned. “Ron, I thought we were past this. I thought you understood.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think I’ll ever understand. Merlin, Malfoy!” he muttered.

“Come on Ron, forget it. It was a mistake, that’s all! Christopher is gonna be around forever, so you might as well get used to him,” I told him flatly.

“You’re right. But, God, does he ever look like Malfoy,” he pointed out. Harry hurried over to us.

“So, Ron what did McGonagall want?”

Ron shrugged. “Oh, you know, just to talk about Transfiguration this year. She doesn’t see me ’improving’ and would like to give me ’private lessons’.” He threw up air quotes around certain words. “Whatever. Let’s go get a carriage.”

As we walked, I glanced around, looking for a tuft of Malfoy’s blonde hair, but didn’t see anything. Feeling a little let down, I stopped looking and, with Christopher snoozing on my shoulder, climbed into one of the carriages that were pulled by Thestrals. Maybe he wasn’t coming back this year. That wouldn’t exactly be a surprise after everything that happened. But, then again, I hadn’t seen Goyle or Pansy Parkinson either. Perhaps I didn’t look hard enough. It was dark and their were hundreds of students on the platform. Easy to skip over someone.

Luna Lovegood clambered inside as did Neville Longbottom and Ginny Weasley. Luna smiled a dreamy smile at us.

“Hello Harry, Ron, Hermione.”

“Hi Luna,” we said together.

“How was your summer?” I asked. She looked over at me.

“Too peaceful.” Her voice was soft and quiet. “Who’s this?” Luna indicated to Christopher. “Oh this is the little guy you were pregnant with two years ago!”

“Yeah, this is Christopher,” I told her.

“Aww, Hermione he’s so cute!” Ginny cooed.

“Thanks Ginny,” I smiled. “He’s just a little cutie. Oh yes you are,” I said softly to Christopher. “Have any of you guys seen Malfoy?”

They all looked at me and murmured, “No.” Ron scowled. I dropped my head, my spirits dropping with them. I really wanted him to meet his son.

“Why?” Neville asked.

“Oh, I haven’t seen him and, you know, he’s daddy,” I said in what I hoped was an amused voice, though I was far from it. Christopher looked up at me.

“Dada?” he said softly. Everyone stared at him. I smiled.

“We’ll find him.” I repositioned him in my arms and rested my head on the seat, waiting to get to Hogwarts.

We arrived a few minutes later. I got out of the carriage and studied all the other carriages. People came out and headed into the school in a mob. I groaned, knowing I’d never find him in this mess. A moment later, he emerged from on of the carriages towards the end and disappeared in the mob. I smiled. He was here. No worries. Shifting Christopher, I followed the crowd of students towards the school with Harry and Ron on either side of me.

“Did you see him?” Harry whispered to me so Ron wouldn’t hear.

I nodded. “Mhmm. Now I just got to find him once inside.” Ron rounded on me.

“So what? Now you’re going to start loving him? God, Hermione I don’t get you!”

“What the hell Ron! He’s the father of my son!” I shrieked. “Of course I’m going to be concerned about him. And you don’t have to get it. You’ll never get it! You’re really pushing it!” Clutching my son, I stalked off. I couldn’t believe him! He didn’t have a right to still be mad. We got together after I had Christopher. It’s not like we were together when I slept with Draco. Merlin, he was so temperamental!

As I weaved my way between students, someone grabbed my wrist and yanked my backwards. I turned and found myself facing Draco Malfoy. He looked at me, raised an eyebrow, and then smiled, reaching out for Christopher. I let Draco take him. He was one of the few I trusted with my little boy. Christopher glanced up at Draco and then back at me, smiling.

“So, this is Chris?” Draco murmured, cooing and making our son laugh. Our son. Awkward. As I watched Draco’s every move and action with Christopher, I saw a side of him I’d never seen. He didn’t strike me as gentle, and willing to talk like a daddy to toddler. But, here he was, doing what I thought to be impossible. There was more to Draco than I thought.

I nodded. “Yeah, this is Chris. He looks just like you.”

Draco smirked. “Well, except for the curls.” I watched his face light up as Christopher smiled brightly at him. I couldn’t help but grin also. “He’s perfect.”

“I know.” I smiled wider, then glanced around the empty entrance way. “Oh, Draco, I should go get a seat so I can eat and then feed Chris.”

“Um, alright.” His face dropped slightly. He reluctantly handed Chris over to me and then gazed longingly at the little boy.

“We can work something out tomorrow,” I told him, feeling a pang of pity at the expression on his face. He nodded.


We both entered the Great Hall, greeted by hundreds of eyes, and departed for our separate tables, his Slytherin and mine Gryffindor.

A/N review if you liked it (: