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Problem by dracos_hotter

Format: Novella
Chapters: 30
Word Count: 71,296
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Contains Slash (Same-Sex Pairing), Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Characters: Scorpius, Rose, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: Rose/Scorpius, Other Pairing

First Published: 09/27/2009
Last Chapter: 04/16/2012
Last Updated: 04/16/2012


I, Rose Weasley, have problems. Not in the totally-incapable-of-anything-useless way, but in the way that anyone does.

My biggest problems are as follows:
1. I can't refuse a dare...

... 10. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.
Thank Merlin this is the last year of school.

Simply amazing banner by the terminator over at The Dark Arts!

Chapter 1: Dares
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

by Moose! @ TDA
                                                ^ Olivia Grey ^

Rose POV
I have problems. 

Not in the totally-incapable-of-anything-useless way, but in the way that anyone does. Apart from Lily. Lily has no problems at all, because she is perfection incarnate. But less of her. 

My problems are as follows:
1. I’m currently sitting in a bath, removing all the hair from the lower half of my body, and I really do mean all of the hair, with a Muggle cream.
2. Said Muggle cream stinks.
3. It’s all Livi’s fault, because she dared me.
4. I can’t seem to refuse a dare.
5. Even if it makes me blush.
6. I hate my blushes.
7. I also hate my hair.
8. It’s so bushy! Thank God I looked up a straightening spell, as soon as I get into Hogwarts I won’t have to look like a bog-brush.
9. Everybody seems to want to embarrass me. Especially Scorp. This brings us nicely onto my biggest problem...
10. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.
It’s two o’clock on a Sunday, exactly eight days until I’m safely in Gryffindor tower, in my nice canopy bed, near Scorpius. 

And that’s a problem, as well. 

I love Scorpius Malfoy. Did you hear me? I love him. And this is a problem, because he doesn’t love me back. Unrequited love, it’s called. If he even notices me, he generally humiliates me in some way. Then I blush, feel stupid, and then stupider when I remember how unattractive my blush is. Which makes me blush just that stupid little bit more. 

The radio is burbling away happily, playing a muggle song that is ‘clearly a witch in hiding’. It’s a magical radio, unlike downstairs. Mum says we should be half muggle, like Nana and Granddad Granger. 

Why? I wanna be able to take the hair off of my legs and— 

“Rose, are you still in there? I think it’s only supposed to be on for five minutes.” 

Ooh, it’s Livi. Short for Olivia Hampton-Grey. What was it she just said? 

“Rose, seriously. Get that stuff off or you’ll regret it tomorrow!” 

Ooh, it’s all smoothly smooth smooth down there! I wonder what Livi meant? ‘Regret it tomorrow’? Like she said about that skirt? I never regretted that, it was ugly. 

Should I introduce myself? 

My name is Rose, Rose Nymphadora Weasley. Daughter of Ronald and Hermione Weasley, although I’m sure I’m adopted. I can sing, they can’t. So how can I sing? Where does it come from?! 

I go to Hogwarts, possibly the best school in the world, but of course it is, Scorpius is in it! Mmmn, Scorpius. He’s just so damn pretty, with his blonde waves and grey-blue eyes... 

Ah, crap. There I go again. 

Standing up swiftly, I turn the shower on, blasting the last of the foul-smelling gunk down the drain. 

So long, sucker! “For Christ’s sake Rose, I’ll break this door down! I mean it! Get your arse out here!” 

“Coming, coming!” I call back to Livi. She’s so impatient. 

“Guys, I don’t think these dares were a good idea,” Albus yells from his bedroom, “I don’t know when it’ll grow back, and it says here it can be painful!” 

“Painful, smainful,” announces Livi, “It’s a dare, and we all know about Rose and dares.” 

“Well if she wasn’t trying to prove herself to everyone constantly—“ 

“I can hear you guys, you know!” I call. 


Yes, I thought that would shut you up.

I dress quickly, pulling my clothes over my smooth legs. My pants feel strange sitting over bare skin. 

“Livi, this feels weird!” I step out of the bathroom, scowling. 

Livi rolls her eyes. “So? My turn for a dare!” 

“I know!” I jump in, before Albus can think of something boring, as ever. He has a problem with not being ‘dangerous’, or fun. “Climb the big pine tree and hang your pants from the top branch!” 

So, Livi and I have a thing about message pants. Y’know, like pants with words written on them. Our favourites are currently Paws Off! And Wish you were here... 

So pants it is. Livi smirks, and begins to descend the stairs.  

“Which ones, Flower?” she calls, using her pet name for me. 

“The I like danger ones!” I reply, and Albus lets out a shaky laugh. 

“Can I get them down afterwards?” 


“So,” Al cuts in, “Where’s Hugo?” 

I smirk evilly. Albus blanches and takes a step back. 

“Christ, what have you done this time?” he breaths. I burst out laughing. 

“Nothing! He’s with Charlie the freak.” 

Charlie the Freak is a freak. Original naming, I know. She – yes, she – has neon-pink hair, snake-bite lip piercings and thinks Voldemort was a heavy-metal rocker. No, seriously, that is her theory. Mum hates Charlie, because of this theory. Charlie is willing to let old Volly off killing thousands of people – because she thinks he liked heavy metal. 

Albus curls his lip up, sneering. No-one thinks Al can be scary, but when he sneers his face changes so much. It goes from kindly, nice guy to EVIL. 

“How can he?” he sneers, “She’s such a deluded idiot.” 

I sigh, “I don’t know, Al. He says she needs friends to bring her through a rough patch.” 

“She needs psychiatric help.” 

“Guys, are you going to stop bitching and watch me or what?” Livi is twirling her pants around her finger, watching us. 

“Right. Yeah, coming,” I say, dragging Albus behind me into our garden. It’s a huge stretch of land, a few acres, and at the bottom of the garden a thick ring of trees blocks the Quidditch rings from view. 

The largest of these trees is a magically modified pine, which smells like Christmas and clean. I love it. It’s easy to climb, and once mum found out I had a head for heights she put a protection on it. She found this out because I might have fallen. It was just my luck – the one time I fell was showing off to mum. 

Livi is bouncing around the trunk, sniffing it delicately. It’s common knowledge she and I would sniff this tree until the cows came home – and then we’d yell at the cows until they went away again. That’s a Muggle phrase, by the way. Did I mention we’re half muggle? 

“Five, four, three, two, one!” I count down, watching as Livi begins to bounce up the branches, pants clutched between her teeth. 

“Oi!” I can hear someone yelling. I turn around, and on closer inspection it’s Fred, trailing Roxanne and James behind him. “Don’t play dares without us!” 

“You snooze, you lose,” remarks Albus, his eyes fixed on Livi as she jumps a rotten bough. 

“We just arrived! That’s not fair!” Roxy protests, flicking her braided hair behind her. She’s a pretty one, Roxy. She has skin like milk chocolate, hair that is dark brown with streaks of red, and eyes that dance. It’s unfair, what life gives you. I glance down at my milky skin and tug at my frizzy scarlet hair. 

Oh, now I look bad. As if having Livi around wasn’t bad enough. 

“So?” I retort, and am about to say more but Al interrupts me. 

“Look!” He points, and I look up to see Livi attaching her pants to the tree. They blow in the wind. She takes a bow, and begins to swing down the tree. 

“Do those say what I think they do?” James says quietly. That’s quite strange for James. He has a crush bigger than a dragon on Livi.

“What do you think they say?” I reply, still watching Livi. 

“Uh... I love danger.” 

“Yep. Do you like them? They’re her pulling pants.” 

“Her what?” Fred laughs, “Not sweet Olivia? Surely you’re mistaken?” 

“Nope,” I say, as Livi does a neat front flip out of the tree, landing cat-like on the turf. 

“When we went clubbing –“ 

“You did what without inviting me? Do I get to go anywhere?” James complains. 

“You’re embarrassing,” Roxy points out. 

“I second that!” announces Livi, jogging over, “How did I do?” 

“Great. How am I embarrassing?” James pokes a finger at me. I flick it away. 

“There was the time you ran around in your pants, through the Great Hall no less—“ 

“The time you came down to see me wearing your ‘Label the sexy’ t-shirt and asked me to sign your bum—“ 

“The time you went commando and mooned somebody because you ‘forgot’—“ 

“Okay, enough! I get it! But those were all just mistakes!” 

I laugh, and Fred joins in, throwing back his head. 

“What about the time—“ 

“No! I don’t want to hear it!” 

“Hello, Death-Buddies!” 

I freeze, as does everyone else. It’s Charlie the Freak. I glare past her at Hugo, who has at least the goodness to be embarrassed. 

“On this day, I’d like to ask Voldemorts forgiveness from you, Olivia, for being against people like you, namely muggle-borns.” 

Oh. My. God. 

“How stupid are you?” I blurt out, “Voldemort was against people like you as well! Stop trying to forgive him, he killed my uncle, bitch!” 

Freak turns to glare at me. “Some people obviously have too much space taken up by pig-headedness to use forgiveness,” she says staunchly. I glare back. After a few seconds of glaring, I’ve made my decision. 

“Get out!” I yell, “And don’t come back until you have respect for the dead!” Freak juts her chin into the air, and marches off. Albus huffs behind me. 

“I don’t know why you talk to her, Hugo!” he spat, “She’s such a...a...” 

“Bitch?” offers Roxy, and Al nods. 

“Guys, be nice!” Hugo pleads, “She’s just a bit confused.” 

I snort. “She’s ridiculous. And Hugo, for being late, I dare you to go and fetch Livi’s knickers.” 

“Alright. Where are they?” he asks, and I point up the tree. He visibly pales. “Fine, I’ll do it.” 

Like me, Hugo can’t refuse a dare. I blame it on Dad’s stubbornness and Mum’s determined state of mind. 

As he climbs the tree, slower and more timidly than Livi, I lie down and sunbathe. This dare will take bloody ages, and it’s boring to watch him test seven different branches before going with the first one he tried. 

One by one, everyone else joins me. Roxy with her hair splayed around her face, Fred with his shock of red hair clashing with the green grass, James with his inky, messy mane that has been described as ‘sex hair’ and was voted Best Hair: Male for five consecutive years in the school paper. I’ve only ever been voted Smartest Pupil: Witch, which is as bad as having a sign that says NERD over my head. Then there is Livi, her raven hair as dark as James’, although down to her waist and silky smooth, Albus and his slightly more tamed hair, and finally me, checking out my nails.
Hearing a strangled yelp, I looked up to see Hugo falling, the pants grasped in his hand. He sets off the protection spell, slowing down his fall and letting him land safely on his feet. 

“Hooray!” I jump up onto my feet, grabbing the pants and handing them to Livi. 

“My go, my go!” calls James. 

“Roxy’s go,” I announce. 

This was going to be a good day. 


Itchy, itchy pain. 

I groan, wondering what could’ve made my skin so enflamed down there... Then I remember. 

“Livi!” I throw a pillow her way, stumbling to the bathroom to get some Essence of Murtlap to slather on it. “Ow, ow damn it ouch!” 

Seven days until I see Scorpius again. 

Hmmn, that makes it better. That and the cream. 

“Rose, what’s the time?” calls Livi. 

“About twelve,” I reply, as mum calls something. “What was that mum?” 

“I said, your booklists have arrived!” 

Oh, goodie. 

“Livi, we’re going shopping!” I go back into my bedroom, where Livi is crawling out of her pop-up bed. 

“Ugh,” she says wisely. 


“Food... breakfast? Hungry.” 

Livi is not a morning person. It’s quite surprising she managed to get all those words out at once, actually. 

“Yeah, breakfast will be downstairs,” I reply, knowing that she meant ‘Is there food on the table, or have we missed breakfast? I’m hungry.’ 

She grunts in response, stumbling downstairs. I follow her, touting my good-morning vibe. Technically afternoon, but who gives a damn? It’s morning to us. 

Mum is reading the paper at the table, and flicks her wand to make bacon and toast come sailing our way. We eat like pigs – ha-ha, eating like pigs eating pigs – and then bounce back upstairs, ready to shop. 

Well, I am. Livi’s collapsed on the floor. 

Chapter 2: Diagon Alley
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By love_jillmarie at TDA

Problem eleven: Livi’s collapsed. 

I hold my breath, tip-toeing towards her. 

Please, please don’t let this be a relapse. 

She snores softly, and I breathe again. 

On closer inspection, she's soundly asleep, so I take pity on her and place a blanket over her, quietly having a shower and washing my hair. 

For crying out loud, we just slept fourteen hours. You’d think she’d have the decency to stay awake for roughly half that time while we shopped. 

Hearing a muffled thwack, I assume Livi is awake and blundering around my room. I bounce back in, and sure enough she's sitting on the floor rubbing her eyes, jeans half way up her legs. She looks so comical I have to snap a picture, and then stop and laugh, a lot. She’s tripped over my guitar. 

“Shuddup, Flower,” she complains, standing up and grabbing a t-shirt from her trunk. “At least I won’t be itching all day.” 

I pout, feeling the tell-tale itch of pubic hair reroofing, like some fuzzy straw hut. Livi laughs. 

“You knew this would happen? You evil cow! I only made you put your pants on a tree!”
“So? Let’s shop, Flower.” 

We jump back down the stairs, now spritely and ready to shop. I already was, but now Livi had joined the realms of the living everyone seemed to be alive. 

Hugo was poking his wand at a pancake, practising his swishing and flicking. He stands up when we walk in, raising an eyebrow. 

“Rose, you’re showing your legs.” My brother: the thinker. 

“Well done, genius! I figured, if that muggle stuff worked, then I might as well show it off.” 

I'm wearing a dress – big shock – with denim shorts. I adore the dress, which is soft emerald green silk and mid-thigh, with a scoop neck that makes my head look almost normal sized. The shorts are just protection against perverts, because until I turn seventeen I still have to just walk away. 

Damn it. Couldn’t I punch them? Probably not. 

“Let’s just go, before Rose gets stuck admiring her legs all day,” Livi says smarmily, and I shoot her a glare. 

“I swear to Merlin, Livi, if you weren’t my friend you’d be my worst enemy!” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Flower. Where’s the floo powder?” 

I point to the mantelpiece, grabbing myself a glass of pumpkin juice as Hugo chucks a handful of the glittering powder into the fire, stepping in and yelling; 
“Diagon Alley!” 

He disappears quickly, and Livi follows him. Putting the glass on the table, I make sure I’ve got the lists Livi forgot, my key for Gringott’s and some spare change before stepping into the flames myself. 
I’ve never liked travelling by floo; it’s horrible, especially when you see glimpses of other people’s houses. When I was little, I had to travel slowly so I didn’t die or something, and I caught some middle-aged people *ahem* doing the sideways tango, and so I got the sex talk age five. Whoop-di-doo. I think my view on sex was effected by that; I’ve never quite gotten over it. 

Bursting out on the other side, Livi is waiting for me, while Hugo has disappeared. 

“Oh, thank Minerva,” she cries, seeing the lists clutched in my hand. 

“Merlin’s sake Livi, you’d forget your head if you were Nearly Headless Nick!” 

“What, that sex-pot? Never, my head would be too good to leave behind!” We both laugh, a lot. It’s a running joke now hot Nick is; despite the fact he’s cold. Dead cold. 

“Alrighty then, to Flourish and Blotts!” I cry, like some strange warrior. Livi mimes pulling out her sword and waving it at me, and we laugh some more. 

“What’s on the list this year, oh Rose with the lists?” 

I look down and groan. They all look excruciating. “All awful. Thank heavens this is the final year of this purgatory, I think if I had to do another year—“ 

“Then perhaps you’d even shag a Slytherin for answers! Maybe this year you’ll get lucky, and someone will take pity on you. Is that a dress, Weasel?” 

I turn around slowly, knowing that voice well. 

“Hello, Scorpius,” I say politely, “How’s the anal disorder coming along?” 

Scorpius scowls, letting me drink in his features for a moment before he leaves. If he does leave. He's wearing jeans and a faded tee that fit to his muscled body very nicely, and resting on his bared neck, his perfect head is hung with icy blonde hair, that looks soft and is begging me to run my fingers through it.

“It’s so wonderful that it wants to kill you,” he replies, making no sense what so ever. “Are you going to finally admit you love Zabini this year?” 

I scowl. This is the root of all my problems. I love Malfoy. Zabini loves me. Malfoy has made it his mission, since Second year, to unite me and Zabini. 

“Never,” I vow, silently telling him in my mind that I love him, not Zabini, however gorgeous he is. 

Scorpius smirks, catching me off guard. I hold my breath for a second, then huff, frustrated. 

So this year will be like all the others – I’ll watch him go through half the school he’s probably been out with, and he’ll still try to get me together with Zabini, although I’ve never given a sign of liking him. Not once. Maybe once. But that was so long ago! Four whole years ago, and he’s still pursuing me, damn it! 

“Unless...” Scorpius starts and my heart skips a beat. Please say you like me, and to hell with Zabini. “You’re persuaded. I’ve heard he’s grown up a bit, over the summer.” 

Oh, beeping beep beep. That’s muggle censorship for what I was thinking. 

Sometimes, a beep works best. 

Scorpius saunters off, and I watch him with sad eyes. Livi, who has heard pretty much everything I’ve ever thought on this subject, wraps an arm around my waist and leads me towards the familiar bookshop. 

“C’mon, Rose, don’t freak out, wait until we’re in the silenced part of the shop—“ 

“I’m freaking out.” 

Quickly, Livi expertly steers me into the silenced part of the store, where some enchanted books are fighting it out, loudly. It’s silenced so the rest of the shop can’t hear, and I love it. I’ve had some spectacular breakdowns in here, and no-one has ever cared. 

I concentrate on taking deep breaths. 

“It’s okay, Rose, it’s fine, think of Quidditch—“ 

Wrong thing to say. Scorpius plays Quidditch excellently. I swell, taking another huge breath. 

“—I didn’t mean it! Think of—“ 

It’s too late. I let out a scream that could’ve killed someone from a mile, making Livi clap her hands over her ears and wince in pain. 

When I’m done, I sit down, pouting as I take out my booklist, which is identical to Livi’s minus the name, and start shredding it violently. 

“What happened here?” I hear Cousin James ask. 

“Another spectacular fit of the Scorpius inflammation,” Livi replies, pulling me to my feet. 

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t catch that scream. That was one hell of a face you pulled, Rose.” 

I glare at James, who nonchalantly pulls me in for a hug. 

What is it with me and my inability to stay mad at people? 

“So, Rosie, sweetie, are we going to get books or stay here a moment more?” asks Livi, testing the waters. 

I sigh like a martyr. “Let’s go out-nerd ourselves, Livster.” 

“Don’t call me that!” 

I laugh, and James looks relieved. I might not be able to stay mad, but I can sulk for England. 

“What’s the list, Flower?” 

“Transfiguration – Oh God, I can’t believe I passed that – Divination, dada—“ 


“Defence Against the Dark Arts. Dada, like daddy? Anyway, there’s pretty much every subject known to man and more.” 

“Alright, James, you get that half and we’ll get the rest!” Livi commands. James can’t resist Livi – he has one hell of a crush on her, but he’d never admit it. 

She tears a huge part of the list off, and hands it to James. He’d protest if I did that, even though he’ll probably just use his wand. The wooden one, you pervert. Oh no, that sounds even worse! The one in his hand. Oh, I give up. Whatever I think sounds perverted. 

James happily toddles off, and Livi hands me the rest of the list. 

“Check it out, Flower – he gets them all!” she laughs, and I look at the list. We have a signature from Mrs Chang as our booklist. I laugh and high-five her. 

“Do you think we could get him to pay for them?” Livi wonders out loud. 

“Already done!” James announces from behind us, looking smug. He looks smugger as Livi throws her arms around his neck and plonks a kiss on his cheek – in fact, he looks euphoric. 

I snigger at his flushed face and he sticks his tongue out at me, almost licking Livi in the process. I almost wet myself at this, laughing so hard I'm bent over at the waist. 

“Keep laughing, Rose, and you won’t see my face again!” James threatens, and I tried to keep calm. I still snigger a bit, though. 

“So James, how’s the Quidditch going?” I ask, and James’ face lights up. 

“Excellently!” he exclaims, and I can tell this will keep him happy. Not that I don’t care – I love Quidditch just as much as him. “Did you hear? I got into The Wimborne Wasps!”
“Oh, really? I only got a freaking seven page essay on every move you made in the trials, including the sneeze you thought might change your life!” 

“That sneeze was strategic. Obviously, Rose, you’re still the endlessly non-Quidditch person you always were. Until you get on your broom, of course.” 

I open my mouth to protest, but Livi sees a fight brewing between us and steers us into Eeylops Owl Emporium. 

“We need owl treats!” she says loudly, even though I have a cat, not an owl. 

I roll my eyes, following her, but balk as I see who's in the shop. James fold his arms and raises an eyebrow. 

“You’re going to see him all year, why not now?” he taunts. 

“How come you appear every time I and Livi go somewhere?” I raise an eyebrow back. 

James looks shifty. “Uh...” 

“That’s what I thought,” I say, smiling triumphantly. 

“Rose, you’re going in!” Livi grabs me, and pulls me into the shop using brute force. James steps in hastily behind me, blocking my exit. 

“For such an irritating person, you could at least have the decency to be weak!” I poke Livi in the ribs. 

She smiles, lighting up her face. “Beater, remember!” 

“Oh, I can feel the memories affecting my mental health as we’re talking,” I mutter. Livi snorts. 

“Rose my sex kitten, is that you?” 

I send one final pleading glance at Livi. She shakes her head sadly, and mouths ‘Good luck’. 

Some friend you are. 
“Rose, my love, it’s you!” Marius Zabini: AKA ‘my lover’ is possible the most irritating person I’ve ever met in my life. “I’ve missed you so, how could you not write me all summer? Marius was quite distraught.” 

“Stop referring to yourself in third person,” I say quietly. Marius still looks pretty similar to when I last saw him: same honey hair, same olive skin, same inch taller than me.

“My love, I would do anything for you. But for me to do something for you, that would require payment. Kiss me, Rose my dear?” 

“I need to go!” I say quickly, grabbing James and running out of the shop. 
Marius follows me, but I outwit him by hiding behind James. “Gross, gross, gross! Disgusting child, can’t he leave me alone for once? And why the hell did you make me go in?” 

“I thought it would distract you, because Scorpius was on his way,” Livi whispers in my ear, surprising me. I shriek, and Marius looks around. 

“Oh help me, help me,” I whimper, and James takes pity on me. 

“A wasp! A wasp!” he cries, sneakily hustling us into Madam Malkins. 

“Thank Merlin!” I mutter, then freeze as another voice whispers in my ear. 

“So Weasel, still not cracked?” 

I sigh. “Ah, fuck.” 

“Tsk tsk Weasel, language! If you don’t behave I’ll have to set my father on you.” 

“Fuck off, Scorp.” Livi saves me from untimely death by harming a Malfoy. 

“Yeah, Malfoy. Get gone.” And of course, James backs her up. 

I turn around to face Scorpius, again, to see him smirking arrogantly, and sexily.
Damn it! 

“Sure thing. Olivia, if you ditch the boy wonder, owl me.” 

So this time it wasn’t my fault Malfoy got punched. James actually pops him one. I can’t stop laughing; I didn’t know whether it was the look on Scorpius’ face, James’ look of satisfaction or Livi’s disgusted sneer. 

“Not with blood on your face, Scorp!” she says, then walks off to track down someone to fit her some robes. 

James follows her, and I take one last look at Scorp then leave. 

Damn, he looks so fierce with blood smeared across his lips. 

I could take it off for him. 

“Rose, get your arse back here before I get you, too!” James has his arm around Livi as he’s yelling. 

“I’m here, you big plonker.” 

“That’s Mr Plonker, to you.” 

My family is mad. 

Review for chips =)


Chapter 3: Study hard for your Scorp
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By ceren. @ TDA

Problem twelve: It’s September already. 

“Study hard for your NEWTs! Don’t forget your socks; I don’t want to send them on, Hugo! Get up!” 

Mum on the first of September: barely bearable. I’m nodding and smiling and running up and down the stairs, while Livi absentmindedly chews a waffle that mum made hours ago, expecting us to be up at the crack of dawn. 

Hello, I’m friends with Olivia. It’s strange how I haven’t had a day without her for years – she’s an orphan, but she hasn’t lived in her orphanage for years. Hasn’t even been there, I think. After first year Christmas break, she gathered her stuff and never went back. Over the holidays she generally stays here, with the Potters (who love her, like James does except not so... madly) or at hoggy warty Hogwarts. 

And I still don’t get bored of her. 

“Alright, let’s go,” mum huffs, roughly pulling her bushy hair into a loose pony tail. “Ron?” 

“Yeah, coming,” dad calls. 

That’s my parents. Two thirds of the ‘golden trio’, one organised and the other so... not. But dad is a professional auror, so that makes up for the fact he’s a bit hectic. 

“Ronald Bilius Weasley, if you’re not in that car in thirty seconds I’m driving it!” 

Oh please, dad, hurry up! Mum can’t drive to save her life... or ours. Actually, she almost killed me last time trying to stop us fighting. Not Hugo, who was provoking me. Me. 

“I’m driving!” dad roars, and sprints down the stairs, getting to mum with ten seconds to spare. 

“In the car, Ron,” she says, softly, and he kisses the tip of her nose and opens the front door, bowing her out. Hugo mimes retching. 

“Suck it up, Hugh,” I grimace, “This is what they’re like when we’re not here.” 

Livi laughs. I don’t – it’s true. 

“Kids, come on! We’ll be late!” 

Hermione Granger’s children, late? Is that logically a sentence? 

Answer: NO. 

We all go speeding off to Kings Cross anyway, threats from Livi to confiscate my lip gloss and from mum not to wear lip gloss aside. 

“—it’s demeaning to women, Rose! I thought I taught you better than that!” 

I roll my eyes. “Didn’t you also teach me to seize opportunities?” 

“Yes, but I didn’t mean make-up!” 

“It’s making the most of my situation!” 

“How?” asks dad, but falls silent when both me and mum shoot him the patented Granger Family Silencing Glance©. I might be mainly Weasley, but I’ve got this! And, of course, my brains. 

“Like your father said Rose, how exactly does this help you?” 

“It’s impossible to get smooth lips without the stuff, smooth lips are good for kissing—“ Here dad looks away, still a tad squeamish when it comes to my relationships , “—Kissing certain people in school generally helps you out!” 

“Rose, I really want—“ 

“Enough, please,” dad says in a pained voice. For once, we listen to him. I victoriously apply vanilla scented pale pink loveliness to my lips, smiling widely. 

“You look like Marius just died!” 

Smiling a little wider. 

“Rose! My darling, I’ve missed you so much!” 

“Oh crap, hide,” I hiss at Livi, and we duck behind a pillar. Marius seems to be baffled by my sudden disappearance, but accepts it and lugs his giant trunk onto the train. 

“Jesus crikey, what’s he got in that thing?” Livi whispers, mirroring my sentiments. 

“Maybe it’s his make up,” I snigger back, “I hope it explodes so I see!” 

Unfortunately, it didn’t. 

“Well, well, well. Run along, Weaslet, you need to get on your train or face another year of being a loser. Oh no, that’ll happen anyway! I guess you’d better find Marius and apologize.” 

“Why are you always talking to my arse? I guess people search for things like themselves...” 

“Witty,” Scorpius said. He hadn’t changed much since I’d last seen him. Perhaps he’d gotten a bit sexier. 

I can see what you’re thinking. This is where he declares he’s only tried to set me up with Marius because he couldn’t bear that he loved me so much, and he’ll always love me. The insults were just a disguise.

But no. Instead, he sneers and walks away. 

“Oi, Marius!” he shouts. 

“Shit,” I mutter, “C’mon, Livi, let’s move.” 

We quickly hug mum and dad and jump on the train, getting into an empty compartment before any dodgy lovers or matchmakers see us. Hugo can find his own way. 

“I hate to say it, but this year seems repetitive already,” Livi muses. I sigh. 

“Found you!” yells Albus, “They’re in here, Lils!” 

“Ssh,” I pull him into the small room quickly, “We’re being tailed again!” 

Albus laughs nervously. Marius usually thinks he’s my body guard, or boyfriend. He gets insanely jealous. It would be funny is it wasn’t so sad. Either way, I’m not correcting him... yet. 

“Rose! I haven’t seen you for so long!” Ah, Lily. Sweet Lily. 

“Oh, my favourite red headed girl!” I give her a hug. She might be perfect in every way, but I still like her. 

“I missed you! I heard you had a day of dares while I was in France! Did you hear? Mum took me shopping for my birthday!” 

“Ooh, that’s sounds nice!” Livi says brightly, “And here comes Marius!” 

“Where?” I snap, whipping my head around to look at the glass panel of the door. Indeed, a delighted-looking Marius is striding in my general direction. “Oh, for crying out loud! Albus, cloak, if you would!” 

“No,” refuses Albus, and I whip out my wand. Al doesn’t even bat an eyelash. “You need to explain that I’m not your boyfriend, body guard or reporter, and that I only stay at your house because we’re related.” 

“Oh, bloody hell Al—“ 

The door slides open, and it all goes dark. Marius has his hands over my eyes. I can already hear Livi laughing quietly. 

“Guess who?” he sings. 

“Anthony? Is that you?” I gush, just to annoy him. 

I see light again! Praise the lord! 

“Who the fuck is Anthony?” roars Marius, “I loved you so much until you broke my heart! And who is this?” He points at Albus, who looks genuinely terrified. “Aha! You’re this Anthony, are you? Well, mister, she’s mine! Always mine! And don’t you forget it! Come on Rose, let’s leave.” 

He seems to have forgotten I was the one he was angry at. 

“Uh, actually,” I start to say something groundbreaking, but Marius has pulled me away into another carriage before I have a chance to breathe. 

“Well, how did I do?” Marius asks a bemused Scorpius, who is smirking at our clasped hands. I gotta say, Marius does have nice hands. Hell, he’s pretty damn gorgeous, but he’s just so damn annoying. But I digress. 

Of course Scorpius put him up to it; he was probably even listening on Extendable Ears! The barstard. But still, I’m staring at said barstard like he’s water in the desert. 

“You did excellently... Obviously you did a great job of persuading her to come with you.” 

Marius glances down at our hands in shock, and then something a little bit like shame falls across his face. 

“That was my cousin you were yelling at,” I say, still not moving my hand. It feels quite nice, actually. 

“Oh. I apologize, Rose,” Did he just apologize to me? For something he did? What is going on? “And I know I haven’t been the best lover ever, but I’ve changed. Could you please give me a chance?” 

The logical thing to do here is to leave the room with my dignity. Instead, I nod slowly and, still holding hands with the boy I’ve yelled at solidly for years, walk back to my compartment. Lily, Livi and Albus’ eyes are just about bugging out of their heads. 

“I... Uh... Yeah...” says Lily, her pretty pink lips forming a perfect ‘o’. 

This is all just a dream. This is all a weird, weird dream. 

“I must have been confunded,” I declare, stabbing a potato viciously. 

“Or you love him,” Livi can’t stop laughing at me. It’s making her choke every few mouthfuls though, so at least it doesn’t last long. 

“Or Scorpius distracted me,” I continue, ignoring Livi’s red face. 

“Or you love him!” 

“Someone obviously slipped me a potion.” 

“You love, love, love him!” 

“Shuddup, Livi.” 

Albus is horrified, to say the least. He thinks I might finally be losing it. 

I am losing it. I just talked to Marius without yelling once for over two hours. Then he left to find Scorpius. 

Bloody Scorpius – what’s his problem now? I only put that spell on him as payback. 

Oh, yeah, about that. Scorpius is currently covered in thousands of tiny pairs of pants. It’s one me and Livi created. Until we work out a counter charm, he’s stuck like that. Or until he goes to see someone smarter than him. I guess Professor Macmillan could fix it. 

“So,” Livi has stopped choking, as the food disappears to be replaced by dessert. I pull a plate of something chocolate smothered towards me. I need comfort food. 

“What now?” I growl around a mouthful of heaven. 

“Marius is waving at you.” 

I look over my shoulder, and indeed Marius is waving at me. I turn back around and stab part of my desert malignantly, poking it into my mouth. 

“You can’t ignore him forever, Rose,” chips in Caspar. She’s a muggle born, and one of the best people to be around in a crisis. This is a crisis. 

“I can, I can and I will!” I declare bravely, taking a swig of pumpkin juice. 

Livi finishes her mouthful of treacle tart. “Alright, what about Quidditch?” 

I cringe. “Damn it, why can’t he be a loser?” 

“Because then you wouldn’t love him,” smirks Livi. 

“Rose, maybe you should give it a go. He wouldn’t ever put a spell on you, so I’m blaming Scorpius, and judging by his hair I’m guessing you do too.” 

Glancing round at the Slytherin table again, the pants have crawled up Scorp into his soft hair. It must be warm up there. I laugh a bit about this, and then take a happier bite of chocolate. 

“Seriously Rose, not kidding. You should give him a go.” 

I give Caspar the look. She doesn’t seem to care. I swallow loudly. 

“Why?” I ask, and then a plan hits me. “I know! I could use him to get to Scorpius!” 

“Oh no,” says Livi quickly, “Bad plan. Bad plan, Rose! You’ll get labelled school slut!” 

It’s too late. I’ve seen the light. 

“Scorpius has got a girlfriend, hasn’t he?” 

“He what?” I look around sharply at Caspar. She nods serenely. “Well, shit!” 

“Pretty thing. I’m not sure if it lasted, but they were going strong over the summer.” 

“Don’t say she’s pretty to me! Tell me I could be better!” 

“Oh yes, I saw her,” Livi continues, ignoring me, “She is pretty. Complete opposite to Rose – sort of quiet and mysterious.” 

“Oi! I can be—“At that moment the hall fell silent, because Professor Macmillan has stood up. “—quiet.” 

“Thank you, Miss Weasley,” he says pompously. He’s a bit of a plonker, our head teacher, but it works for him. “Welcome back, students, to Hogwarts! And welcome to the school, new students. I hope you learn much, be it about yourselves, magic or others. If first years would please follow the prefects, and if older students would be orderly in their behaviour, to bed!” 

“Thank Merlin that’s over,” I sigh, and lead the way out of the hall quickly. Caspar and Livi are hot on my heels, weaving through the secret passages that dissect the castle. 
We get to the Fat Lady in record time. 

“Password?” she enquires haughtily. 

“The Boy Who Lived,” announces Caspar. It’s funny to hear stories about Uncle Harry the hero. To me he’ll always be the family member who accidently walked into Hugo’s fifth birthday party without a nose, because he hadn’t realised he’d splinched himself, terrifying all the kids in there. Including me. 

“Come on, I need to get my broom,” Livi chirps, dragging across the common room, past the lovely, comforting chairs that I so badly want to slump in, up the stairs to our room. Caspar looks aghast. 

“No, Livi, not now! That’s such a Rose thing to do –“ 

“A ‘Rose’ thing to do?” I ask, and Caspar hasn’t got enough humility to look embarrassed. 

“Y’know, a bit wild, a bit reckless, not much brain in it. No offense.” 

“I take offense!” I stride into the dorm and grab my broom. “Cas, you coming?” 

“Well...” Caspar dithers, standing in the doorway. I kick open the window. “Yes! I’m coming!” 

I push myself as far out of the window as I can manage without falling, grab my broom and jump, catching myself at the last possible moment. Livi is already hovering around, and Caspar joins us quickly. We fly across the lake and over the forest, swooping madly around each other, whooping and laughing until all the lights have gone out in the castle. Then we fly back lazily, crawling through the window and flopping into bed. 

That was such a Rose thing to do. 

Hey guys! It's Ella here, again. Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? I was in Belgium, by the way. I'm sitting here surrounded by lovely chocolate, and the plot to the next chapter. Drop me a line to tell me what you thought!


Chapter 4: Breakfast With The Crazies
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By veneficus at The Dark Arts

I own nothing! Except the plot... And sweet Luke.

Ringgggggggggggggg. Ringgggggggggggggg.

Problem thirteen: It’s seven o’clock and I need to get up. 

“Ugh,” I say wisely, immediately fixing the problem. 

“Mphm,” Livi replies, groggily sitting up. 

“Come on! We’ve got to get to breakfast so I can see Harry!” calls Caspar brightly. Harry is her boyfriend -- named after my uncle, of course. 

What the hell? How does she do that? It’s seven, how is she chirpy? 

I swing my legs out of bed and sit up, hunching my shoulders against the sudden cold. 

Groaning, me and Livi get dressed and haphazardly do out hair. We’ll do it by magic anyway soon. 

All the while, Caspar is chatting with cousin Lucy about something mind blowingly boring. Lucy is generally mind blowingly boring. Truly, she is Uncle Percy’s daughter through and through. God knows how Uncle Percy found a girl – never mind one that he a) married and b) had kids with. 

Who knew he knew his way around a woman? 

Argh – mental pictures! Mental pictures!

“Alrighty, I’m ready to go!” I declare, shoving my foot into a shoe and waving my wand at my robes, making them fall nicely on my body. 

“Finally!” huffed Lucy, “You’d think you two had been up all night, the way you carry on!” 

“Huh,” said Livi, swishing her hair around to give it some body, “You would, would you?” 

“Why yes!” Lucy actually speaks like this. It’s very, very annoying. “And last night I know you were all in bed asleep by nine, like me!” 

“Uh huh. Well, Lucy, run along now, I need to do something.” 

Lucy is the year below us, filling the Weasley gap between me and Albus and Hugo, Cousin Louis and Lily. James, having already left school two years ahead of us, still thinks Lucy’s the funniest person to wind up, ever. I’m inclined to agree. Dominique the lovely cousin is a year ahead of me, (and is now touring with her band) and Victoire is a year above James. Then there’s little Molly, who’s proving to be the rebel in the Percy Weasley family by being a bit like me and adoring Livi, Fred who’s in my year and Roxanne in the year below. 

Blimey, the Weasley family gets around a bit. 

Lucy smiles sweetly and leaves, still obeying her elders. 

“Sweet balls of Dumbledore, what is wrong with that child?” I ask to Caspar, picking up my bag. She shrugs and starts to walk downstairs, passing all the younger girls dorms. 

“Maybe she has a lack of love in her life,” suggests Livi, who is slowly waking up. I march out of the common room. 

“She has a lack of a life!” I shake my head sadly, stepping quickly on a set of stairs that are beginning to move. Caspar makes it, but Livi has to jump, tumbling wildly through the air until she hits the hard stone. I applaud her, whooping as she stands up and takes a bow. 

“You guys are complete nut cases,” Hugo says from behind me. 

“Hello, brother of mine,” I sing, “I didn’t see you there!” 

“Evidently,” he says as I throw my arms round him, “What have you been eating? Did you go flying again?” 

“Might have done,” I say innocently. Hugo sighs. He’s the mature one out of us two. 

“Caspar, you could at least try to stop her,” he moans, “Now she’ll do something ridiculous!” 

“Will not! I’m wonder girl and I don’t do anything wrong!” 

“It’s hard to believe how quickly she changes,” Livi remarks, “Just now she was all ‘Lucy sucks and I’m tired’ and now she’s all... Chirpy.” 

“I know,” Hugo continued the train of let’s-comment-on-Rose, “And she almost slapped me yesterday.” 

“I did what now?” I ask. I don’t remember slapping Hugo! 

“When we were in the car? You and Livi fighting over lip gloss? You made a point, flapped your hands about, and bam!” 

“Oh. Right. Sorry Hugh!” 

The stairs stop moving, and we continue along our journey to breakfast. 

“So, what happened with Marius that Lily can’t stop telling me about, exactly? All I’ve got out of her is that you had some kind of personality change,” Hugo raises. 

“I don’t know,” I wail, “One moment I was safe, then he arrives, gets angry at me because I was winding him up, gets angry at Albus for being male and in my vicinity, then he drags me off to see Scorp and ask how he did, then he’s apologising, then I’m talking to him for hours in my compartment!” 

“Wow. So, when does the personality change happen?” Hugo is obviously bothered by this. I’m bothered by this! 

“About when he dragged me off to see Scorp. I blame Scorp. It was obviously him. Did you see the hex we put on him? We created that one.” I’m waffling. Can you blame me? It’s all been freaky on seven levels. 

“Yes, it was good. Teach me sometime?” 

I look at Hugo shrewdly. “Why?” 

“I want to use it... I just want it, okay?” 


We’re at the Great Hall now, and Hugo goes off to sit with his friends. I’ll admit it, Hugo’s got good friends. 

There’s pretty Leon, who has almost every girl in his year wrapped around his little finger, musician Fergus who uses his guitar more than his quill, and once presented Professor Chang a love song, and hot Nathan, who has every girl around, even the older girls, who love him as a toy boy. He’s mature, and smooth. 

Shame Scorpius isn’t like that. 

If there was a list of boys that had the seventh years wrapped around them constantly, it would be Scorpius, hot Nathan and sweet Luke. Sweet Luke is a Gryffindor in seventh year, my year, and is just... Heart melting. He’s got olive toned skin without a single blemish, inky black hair that hangs in gentle waves, rose coloured lips and good manners. He’s almost perfect. 

Except I don’t want perfect. I want Scorp. 

“Rose, are you even listening to me? I said, you need to eat, or you won’t have enough strength for Quidditch!” Livi is talking. I can hear her. I can also hear Caspar and Harry snogging behind me... Ugh. 

“Quidditch?” I ask her, and she sighs, frustrated. 

“Yes, Rose, Quidditch! We have to go to trials!” 

“But... why?” I’m on the team already. Why do I need to be there? 

“Because if you were paying any attention, you would have noticed the Quidditch team was disbanded and a new captain made!” 

“Who?” I ask Livi, who suddenly goes dreamy-eyed. 

“Sweet Luke,” she says happily, “And we are going to get on that team, no matter what!” 

Livi is a beater – small and light, but very strong. I, on the other hand, am a chaser. Caspar is keeper. We are almost a team – add a beater, a seeker and perhaps another chaser or two, just to level things out. Caspar and Harry break apart. 

“You guys might notice that if you keep making those eyes, you won’t concentrate on Quidditch and therefore suck,” announces Caspar, “Which is why I’m guaranteed a spot on the team. I don’t drool over him. And besides, Sweet Luke keeps attracting more girls to the sport. A lot of them have been training over the summer, so you’re all out of business now.” 

“Why us? Why not you?” I moaned, spearing some bacon. 

“Mainly you, Rose! Because Sweet Luke is most likely to look at his Chasers. He won’t even be facing his Keeper, and Beater isn’t feminine enough for most girls,” Caspar declared, smirking. 

“Shut up,” Livi grumbled, “You’re killing the buzz.” 

“I second that,” I chipped in, wrapping my bacon in a crusty roll and jamming it into my mouth. 

Caspar made a face at us... More specifically me. “How can you eat like that? Do you know how bad that is – all fat and carbohydrate, no fibre or vitamins?” 

“Shuddup,” I said around my mouthful, chewing and swallowing rapidly. “It’s good food.” 

“It’s not! Do you even read Witch Weekly?” 

“Nope,” I pop the ‘p’. “Not really. Bits about fashion, a bit about love, a story now and then – Why?” 

“Because if you had been reading, you’d have noticed it’s terrible to your health to eat like that – and that, Olivia, is too much syrup!” 

“Jeez Cass,” Livi mumbles, chewing her maple-syrup drained pancakes, “Lighten up! This is food that brightens my day.” 


“Eat fat and die, Caspar!” I yell, and the hall goes unceremoniously quiet. “I... Uh... Yeah. What were you saying about Quidditch?” 

Caspar refuses to save me. “Your face is all red,” she comments, “Do you want me to fix that?” 

I boggle at her. “You can do that?” 

How come I didn’t know about this? 

“Yeah. Well, I can shift the blush so it doesn’t bother you so much.” 

“Done and done. Sift it, Caspar!” 

“Do you mean shift it?” 

“That too.” 

Caspar fixes me with her piercing blue eyes, pushing her blonde curls out of her face. Pointing her wand directly at my face, she does a strange little flick, and then pauses.
“Where do you want it to go?” 

“Um... My thighs?” 

“Alrighty! Cerasinus mobil.” 

I feel a burning sensation, and then my face cools. The back of my thighs, on the other hand, seem to be hotter than Scorpius’ bum. 

“How do I look?” I ask anxiously, praying Caspar hasn’t moved my nose too or something like it – it’s been known to happen. 

Livi glances up from her pancakes in syrup soup for a moment. “Normal. Why?” 

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” 

Livi gives me a strange look, drinks a spoonful of syrup, and then stands up. “Timetables and shit!” 

“Chang’s coming, Livi. Chill, for once, you bookaholic freak.” That’s rich, from Caspar. I say so and Livi laughs, while Cass gives me the stink eye. 

“Miss Grey, is that a necessary amount of syrup?” 

It’s Professor Chang. Ah, I missed her. She’s kind of short and pretty, in that weird I-can’t-believe-my-uncle-kissed-you way. Most of the boys base their fantasies around her. Poor her – most of the boys are losers. 

Livi gives miss the doe eyes until she’s forced to hand over the timetable without a rant. Then, miracle of miracles, she hands Caspar and I our timetables, and leaves.
“What just happened?” I think I’m gaping. 

“She got a boyfriend over the summer – didn’t you hear?” How does Caspar know this stuff? 

“Oh, well, she did!” 

Livi groans. “Herbology first – you guys?” 

“Same!” I grin at Livi, who pulls a mock disgusted face. We look at Caspar. 

“Nope. Arithmancy.” 

“Oh, skulls and bludgers!” 

“Cliff hucker!” 

This is us swearing – Muggle words don’t work well for us, but nonsense does. 

“Damn it, why can’t you guys be smarter?” Caspar asks us. It’s not that we’re dumb – she knows this. We just don’t feel we need Arithmancy for our job. We’re a band, us three. And we’ll make it. No, I’m kidding. I’m the only one who is musical in the freaking slightest. 

“Come on, floozy named Rose! We need to feel up a good plant!” 

Jesus Christ – maybe the band is a good idea. 

R and R, please?

Chapter 5: Breezy...
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By Lady Malfoy at The Dark Arts! Speechless. With. The. Cool.

That ^ is Lizzie Longbottom, by the way...

I own nothing!

Problem number fourteen: I can’t seem to put chords to my song. 

“Rose Weasley, put that damned guitar down, now! It’s break time, not music class!” 

“There isn’t a music class in this school, Livi.” 


Grudgingly, I shrink my gorgeous mahogany guitar down to pencil-case size and place a couple of protection spells on it. 

“Good bye, my friend...” I say melodramatically, placing it in my bag. 

“Weaslet has friends?” Scorpius appears out of nowhere to say another irritating thing. 

“Can’t you just be nice for once?” I shoot back. 

Why can’t he just look pretty? 

“Not to people like you, Weaslet.” 

I stand up, raising myself to my full height. Scorp has the good grace to look a bit scared. “What do you mean, people like me?” 

“I mean, idiots and general squibs,” he says bravely. I whip out my wand. 

“Crudelisimmo!” I yell as he yells “Occultis!” 

And suddenly, it’s a bit breezy. A lot breezy. 

“You nutcase!” I yell at him, realising what’s happened. “Why the hell am I naked?!” 

“You’re not naked! Your clothes have just disappeared!” Scorp yells back. 

“Merlin’s pants—“ 

“You haven’t got any of them, have you!” 

I suddenly see we’re having an argument in the courtyard, I’m naked and he has a second set of buttocks. But you can’t see his buttocks. 

Everything is silent for a moment. 

“Nice boobs, Weasley!” 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” I mutter, pushing past Scorpius and his second bum, that he’s now found. 

I remember what dignity was! It was not being naked in front of the whole school

Safely in my dorm again, I scream loudly and gather up some clothes, roughly forcing them on and straightening everything up with my wand. 

Bloody boys and their gorgeousness. 

“Why can’t he be a nice person?” I yell at my bed post, picking up my bag and spinning around to find Livi and Caspar looking a little flushed. 

“Don’t worry, Rose, we got the bugger!” Caspar calls, holding up a glass jar. Inside that jar, a small, bright white mouse is scrabbling away. 

“That isn’t...” I breathe, and Livi bursts out laughing. 

“It’s Scorpius the mouse!” she yells, almost peeing herself as she clutches the doorframe, “Everyone was like, ‘Where’s he gone?’ And we had him! In a jar!” 

I join in with the laughter, tears streaming down my face as Livi and Caspar tell the story. 

“You strode off, and he was staring at your bum, so we challenged him about that, so he called you a few muggle words, but halfway through bitch Caspar caught him—“ 

“With this spell I found in a book! I just thought he’d be a great mouse!” 

“Then I conjured up a jar, and voila! One Scorpius mouse.” 

Wiping my eyes, I flick my wand at my clothes and hair, organizing them seamlessly. 

“Alright guys, just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more, here you are!” I say breathlessly. 

“Oh, I’m touched,” Livi says, equally breathless. “We have Care of Magical Creatures next, so we need to get moving.” 

“I want to carry the mouse!” I grin at Caspar, “I’ll try not to kill him.” 

“Deal,” replys Cass, and the mouse let out a high-pitched squeak. I raised him to eye level. 

“So, you can hear and understand me,” I mutter to it,”Let’s see what happens to a bad mouse, hmmn?” 

The mouse looks terrified. If a mouse can look terrified, this mouse is about to faint. It didn’t. I put the Scorpius-mouse in my bag, and bounce happily down the stairs. Albus and Hugo are waiting at the bottom. 

“You look awfully happy for someone who just showed her bum to the school,” Albus comments. Hugo looks squeamish. 

“Rose, I didn’t know you had a tattoo!” he blurts out. 

“I don’t,” I say, confused. 

“Oh. I guess Carmichael was lying, then.” My own brother trusts that plonker over my reputation? 

“Rose, lessons,” Caspar reminds me. 

“Yeah Hugo, get to your lesson!” I reprimand. He rolls his eyes. 

“Yes, mum!” 

Walking down to Hagrid’s hut, I get a lot of strange looks. I don’t know why – I'm only carrying a mouse in a jam jar, and have previously shown every part of me to the courtyard. 

“What?” I yell to the world, “Haven’t you ever seen my bum before?” 

It’s true it wasn’t the first time I’d shown it all – in Fourth Year I got dared to skinny dip. And guess what? I can’t turn down a dare. 

“Rose, stop screeching!” Caspar moans, “Just look at the mouse. Isn’t it nice?” 

I hold the Scorpius-mouse up to eye level again. “Pretty mouse.” 

“I love it when she’s like this,” Livi says happily. 

“Like what?” asks Caspar, while I accidently shook the mouse. 

“All childlike and innocent. Like a toddler. If she sees a butterfly in this mood, she chases after it.” 

“Hey!” I protest, but then I see a butterfly. Livi's right – I do have an urge to run after it. 

We reach Hagrid’s to watch him herding Buckbeak, an ancient hippogriff that has turned a little soft in its old age, out of his pumpkin patch. 

“Rose!” he yells, waving at me. Buckbeak watches his hand in interest. “I’ll be wit’ you in a mo’, I got to move Beaky!” 

“Alright, Hagger!” I yell back, using his giant brother’s nickname for him. Speaking of Grawp, he's sitting by the hut, sharpening a spade. He looks up when I call his name, and beams a big, yellow, toothy grin. 

“’Easley!” he bellows, “Rose ‘Easley!” 

“Hello Grawp!” I bellow back, although not as loud. 

“Hagger done teach Grawp spades!” he says delightedly. 

Livi shoots me a pleading look. “Rose, let’s not get involved with Grawp and tools again, please?” 

Grudgingly, I move on to the paddock that we work in. I like Grawp, but since he got a little excited with a barrel of dragon dung, we don’t stay long near him and tools. 

“Rose, what’s that?” asks Elizabeth Longbottom. She's a likable Ravenclaw, Professor Longbottom’s daughter. She's pointing to the mouse. 

“This,” I declare proudly, “Is what happens to people that cross Rose Weasley!” 

Lizzie’s mouth drops open. “Is that Scorpius?!” 

I nod proudly. Lizzie laughs, and holds out her hands. I plonk the jar in them, and she inspects him. She’s a blond, happy person, who takes everything and turns it into a better situation. Scorpius-mouse looks hopefully up at her. 

“Well, Scorpius, I hope this teaches you a lesson,” Lizzie says sternly, then hands the jar back to me. “I suggest you hang him up in the middle of the hall – I can make you a banner saying something cool, if you’d like?” 

“Sure!” Livi says quickly, seeing the evil look in my eye, “Just a banner, right, Rose?” 

I sigh sadly. “Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Alrigh’, alrigh’, ever’one gather round!” Hagrid says from behind me, and I turn to see him tugging a Kelpie behind him. It's a horse, basically, except better. A midnight black colour, with a sweet face spoiled slightly by bright red eyes. “This here is a Kelpie – an’ trea’ i’ with respect, or it’ll try an’ bite you. I’ve got seven o’ them, so you need to be in groups o’ four. Group up, c’mon!” 

“Hagrid, Scorpius is ill right now, so he can go in our group when he gets back!” I call as people start to chatter. There's no need for us to freak about groups – it was going to be us three, a Kelpie, and Scorpius mouse. 

“Alrigh’ then Rose, c'mon meet your Kelpie!” 

The three of us move slowly towards the beast Hagrid had led into the paddock, while he goes to fetch the other Kelpies. 

“Hello,” I say quietly, avoiding it’s eyes so I didn’t seem like a threat. “I’m Rose. Do you want us to take your halter off?” 

The Kelpie bows it’s head, letting me get to the straps of the blasted rope halter. Livi joins in, while Caspar murmurs reassurances to the thing. 

“Why the hell does Hagrid insist on putting everything on a leash?” Livi complains. I'm busy running my hands through its dripping mane. “That’ll never dry, Rose – they’re enchanted to always be soaked. Feel her coat, it’s like a seal.” 

Indeed, it is. A big, horsey seal. Livi slips the remaining piece of halter over the Kelpie’s head and stands back. 

“Hello, Kelpie, I think you might want a name,” she pronounces, “And I think Bella is a pretty name. Hello, Bella.” 

“Yes, hello, Bella,” Caspar says calmly. 

“What are we supposed to be doing with Bella?” I wonder out loud. 

“According to our books—“ 

“Sod that!” I pout at Caspar, who has her book open. 

“Rose, shut it! It says—“ 

“I think we should convince Bella to let us ride her,” I announce, interrupting Cas again. “What d’you think, Bella?” 

Bella turns her head and looks at me, before returning to her previous job of out staring Livi. They're having a damn good time. 

“I’ll take that as a yes!” I grin at Caspar, who's shaking her head slowly at me, then put Scorpius mouse on Bella’s back. The reaction's almost immediate: Bella’s nostrils flare, and Caspar manages to put a sticking charm on the jar just before Bella bolts, leaping the wooden fence and bucking wildly. 
Scorpius' probably being thrown around like pants in a washing machine. 

At this visual, I stop and laugh. 

“Rose, he could die!” Livi freaks, “And you’ll scare Bella! I was about to win!” 

“Livi, you know Kelpie’s don’t need to blink, right?” I ask her, running out of the paddock to catch Bella. 

“Well, shizz!” calls Livi, hot on my tail. 

Caspar does the obvious thing, and yells for Buckbeak, who comes charging through the pumpkin patch to her aid, kneeling so she can climb on, and then leaping over to Bella in a few hops. 

When Livi and I catch up, Caspar's busy teaching Bella that the mouse is bad. 

“See, it’s a bad thing,” she explains. Bella nuzzles Cass’s palm. 

I stop and pant, exhausted. “Why... didn’t... I ... think... of ... that?” 

“You’re thick,” Livi huffs, also tired. We’d run a good mile in a minute or two... And we only cheated once. 


“Shut it, Caspar!” I hiss, “Lizzie, hand me the corner of that banner, won’t you?” 

“But Rose—“ 

“Shut it!” 

I stand back and admire our handiwork. 

“I love it,” Livi declares. 

“Me too,” Lizzie sighs, and then she hangs the jar with the finally sleeping Scorpius mouse on the wall, sticking it permanently. 

“Let’s go,” I say quietly, “And spread the word for breakfast. Bye, Lizzie.” 

We all trudge back to our respective dorms sleepily, and collapse in our beds. 

“Get up!” Livi screeches in my ear, “It’s time to see our pet!” 

I jump out of bed, wide awake for once, and hastily throw my clothes on, jabbing my wand at them to make them stay straight. We then leg it downstairs to the entrance hall. There, I stop, and grin breathlessly, admiring the banner once more. It writes foot-high letters, spelling out: ‘No one see’s a Weasley’s boobs for free’.
Underneath, Scorpius mouse is scrabbling madly at his enclosure. I start to laugh like everyone else is, leaning on Livi for support. Caspar, however against leaving him for the night she had been, can't help but join in, laughing in earnest. 

When the hall quiets down, Professor Chang speaks up; 
“Rose Weasley, kindly remove that creature and set it free!” 

“Yes miss!” I chirp back, and the crowd watches with baited breath as I reach into the jar and catch Scorpius. I place him on the floor and flick my wand, turning him back into a human. A very naked, irate human. 

“You bitch!” he yells, “When my father hears—“ 

“I’ll assume you’re no longer a mouse,” I say coolly, “Never curse me again, Scorpius.” 

I blow him a kiss and turn to leave as the crowd begin to laugh again. Livi and Caspar flank me on my way to breakfast, laughing with me. 

As I sit down, Lizzie appears. 

“Rose, I love you a little more now!” she yells, and hugs me. I laugh and hug her back. Caspar's watching me carefully. When Lizzie leaves she attacks me. 

“I don’t see how you can bloody love that twat!” she hisses, “He tried to curse you as you left! He hasn’t learnt anything at all!” 

“I just do, okay?” 

“No! Marius is so much better in every way, he’s better for you, he doesn’t curse you, and he’s never humiliated you!” 

“Shut up, Caspar! Can’t you just accept it?” 


“Guys, stop,” Livi interjects, “We have company.” 

“Christ sakes,” I say as I turn around to see Marius making his way towards me, “I don’t want him! I want him to leave me alone and never come back into my life, he’s such a bad lover!” 

Marius keeps making his way steadily towards me. I sigh and turn back around, accepting my fate. 

“Rose?” Marius sounds tentative, almost sad, “Can I speak to you, please?” 

Caspar jabs me in the side, and shoots me a look that could kill. I sigh again and stand up, following Marius into a spare classroom. 

He shuts the door behind me. 

“I have a deal to make with you.” 

Dun dun duh! What could this be? I guess you'll have to specualte madly until the next chapter goes up.... And feel free to review.


Chapter 6: Potions Sucks
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

The stunner is by Lady Malfoy at The Dark Arts!

Not mine =(

Problem fifteen: I might be making a deal with my enemy. 

I look at him suspiciously. “What sort of deal?” 

Marius looks uncomfortable. “Scorpius put a spell on you on the train—“ 

“Ha! I knew it! That barstard!” I thump a nearby desk in frustration. 

“—and I didn’t know. I want to apologize, and I’d also like to ask something of you, Rose, my dear.” 

“Don’t call me ‘my dear’. It’s irritating when you drop all those little lovey-dovey things.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“And you know what’s really annoying? The way you’ve convinced yourself I love you. I don’t! I’ve got no idea where you get that from, but it’s bordering on stalker-ish, get-me-a-bloody-restraining-order behaviour. And if I pull out an order, you’ll have to go somewhere else to learn magic. Why can’t you learn, I drop every hint I don’t like you!” 

Marius listens to my rant calmly. “You’re pretty. I like you. Why can’t it be like that?” 

“Because you bloody over complicate it! All the following me around, and doing that ‘Rose, my love’ thing, that’s why it can’t be like that!” It hits me I’m ranting all my frustrations at him in one. “And while I’m here, stop slipping stuff into my bag.” 

“I haven’t.” 

“You liar! I’ve had chocolates, roses, jewellery, cards, you name it, and I’ve had it!” 

“I haven’t done that recently.” 

“We haven’t been at school a week, yet.” 

“This brings me nicely back to my deal.” 

“What deal?” Damn, I’d forgotten that. 

“Scorpius... he’s—“ 

Say in love with me. Say in love with me. Please? 

“—out of order, cursing you like that. I’d like to make it up to you.” 

Damn, I was so sure he’d say Scorp loves me. 

“How would you make his mistakes up to me?” I ask curiously. 

“Rose, my—Rose... I thought that because his relationship was failing badly, and he’s taking out his annoyance on you—“ 

I knew it! He loves me! 

“—if you would pretend to be in a happy, stable relationship, it would stop him being so mean.” 

“Brilliant! Who with?” 

Not a bad plan, from an idiot. 

“Me, of course!” 

Bad plan, bad plan! 

“Uh... no.” 

“Why ever not? I’m perfect for it! I adore you, you know me—“ 

“As a bloody stalker!” 

“—you still know me, and we’ll be convincing!” 

I spot a loophole and dive at it madly. “But I don’t like you! He won’t be convinced!” 

“But of course, I thought this through! I found the perfect story: you always loved me, you just didn’t want to admit it!” 

“Alright, I’m leaving.” 

“Wait, Rose, my love--!” 

I slam the door behind me and walk quickly back to my breakfast. Livi and Caspar look at me expectantly as I slump in my chair. 

“Bloody idiot thinks that I should go out with him to make Scorpius stop cursing me,” I cry, pulling some toast towards me. “I can’t stand either of them right now!” 

“You mean you’ll finally give up on that idiot?” Caspar asks eagerly, “Because I know you love him, but he’s such a—“ 

“Shut up!” I growl, ripping my toast up before plonking it into my mouth. 

“Alright...” Livi says slowly, “Quidditch trials are scheduled for Saturday.” 

I sit up straighter at that one. “Really? I’m ready, and Rose Weasley is going to kick arse!” 

“We’ve got Potions first,” Caspar says airily, waving her timetable around and bursting my bubble very effectively. 

“I’m going to die,” I moan. 

“It’s not that bad, Rose—“ 

“I told her I loved her! And may I remind you that I can’t do memory spells!” 

“But Professor Irma didn’t mind!” 

“That’s because her hair was on fire!” 

“But still—“ 

“Enough on that, guys.” Livi takes another bite of her bagel. “It’s over. She knows it was a spell.” 

The exact incident was a while ago: I was doing my potions work quietly; Scorpius hit me with a spell. It was supposed to make me stand up and tell Marius I loved him, but instead I stood up on my table, threw out my arms and declared my love for my flaming teacher. She was on fire because some idiots were duelling over their cauldron. It later turned out to be Albus and Matthew Grimsby, a muggle born with cute face and nice smile.

Resigned to my fate, I head to Potions miserably, lagging behind Caspar and Livi. 

“Relax, Rose, it can’t get worse than being naked in front of the school!” 

Potions was worse than ever. We were assigned seats, as per usual, but this time we sat boy-girl. 

Fair enough, I hear you say. 

Well, it was. I was sat next to one Matthew Grimsby, appreciating his cuteness and easy smile, and having a nice, civilised conversation, and then Scorpius happened. 

He couldn’t get on with his partner – what a surprise – and so Professor Irma decided that I, being the only person who can sit next to him and simultaneously go mad, would have the pleasure of sitting by him. 

What is his arsing problem? 

“I’m not sitting next to the weasel,” he sneers as I watch Matthew go sadly. What, can't I look at a boy who treats me nicely for once?

“I’m not sitting next to the mouse,” I fire back. 

“Fuck you!” 

“I’d rather not!” 

“Children, can’t you just sit down and listen to me?” Professor pleads. 

“I can’t sit near it!” I exclaim, “He’s unbearable!” 

“Sorry, Rose, but you have to,” Professor says firmly. 

So she does remember what I yelled last year. Damn. She doesn’t have to punish me this badly, though! 

Scorp mimes retching. 

“Sick of yourself already, Malfoy?” I ask sweetly, “I’d be sick too, if I were you.” 

“Piss off,” he says bluntly. 

Livi shoots me a sympathetic glance, and I grimace back. 

I sit down stiffly, trying to concentrate on the effects of Felix Felicis. It doesn’t work. I can see Scorpius writing furiously fast out of the corner of my eye. 

Dear father, 
I am stuck next to Weaslet. This was not my choice at all! You’re friends with people in high places, get me moved immediately...

I frown. Is this his dad or his lackey he’s writing to? If I wrote to either of my parents like that they’d probably have steam coming out of their ears. 

At the table in front of me, Livi’s scribbling away furiously. She stops, smirks, then folds her parchment up and chucks it at me. I catch it expertly between two fingers, and nonchalantly unfold it. 

Hey Flower, good luck!
Hahahahaha! This is too funny... Ready to believe he’s an arsehole, and he’ll never be Scorp again? Call him Scorp, I dare you, and see how he responds. Go on, I DARE you. 

What did he say back? I bet you did it.
Livi, xx

Ah, crap. I can hear the sensible part of my brain telling me not to do it. 

Don’t do it Rose! Don’t— 

“Hey Scorp?” 

You idiot! 

“Piss off.” 

Hey Livi, he said ‘Piss off’. I’m gonna say its code for ‘I love you really’. 
Don’t dare me, bitch! I dare you to respond. Ha! 
xx Rose

I lob it at the back of her head, hitting her squarely on the piece of skull above her ponytail. 

“Passing notes, Weasel?” Scorpius says casually. 

Yes! He’s talking to me, and he didn’t swear once! 

“Might have been,” I reply equally coolly. 

“How immature.” 

Well, you killed that moment. 

“—and class, I’d like you to write a two foot essay on the properties of Felix Felicis by next lesson.” 

I swear under my breath. There is no way I have the slightest clue what she’d said about Liquid Luck. Scorpius looks just as put out by the idea of homework, but how’s he supposed to rant about me to his parents if he’s doing his studies? 

“And now we begin. Today, we will be stewing the Jobber knoll feathers and the unicorn hair. This is a delicate process, so I recommend that those with shaky hands or quick tempers take a step back.” 

I’m excellent at Potions. Honestly, I can whip up whatever you want. Scorpius has always sucked at Potions. His dad probably pulled a few strings to get him in this class. 

“Stay still, Malfoy,” I sigh, “And don’t touch the cauldron.” 

I quickly light the fire and get the water simmering nicely, then go fetch the feathers. Scanning the board, I realise this is the damn hardest thing I’ve ever been told to make. The feathers are to be the stupidest thing ever, light and fluffy, something I’d see and think looked cute but wouldn’t want to shred and then make into one centimetre square cubes, like I should be doing. 

I point my wand at the damn things, and they shred themselves into pieces quite nicely. Jabbing my wand at them again, they make themselves into little boxes of fluff. 

“Impressive, Weasel.” Dadgummit, couldn’t he keep his freaking mouth shut? 


“No, really. I didn’t think you knew how to point a wand, but you truly have exceeded all of my expectations.” 


That little arsehole! 

Trying hard to keep myself under control, I plonk the cubes of fluff into the bubbling cauldron of water. 

Leave be for five minutes, then prepare and add unicorn hair. Hair must be in inch long segments, added two at a time. 

Caspar and Harry appear on the edge of my table. 

“Hey, Rose,” Harry says in his gravelly voice. He’s a six foot black pot of gorgeous, and Caspar is head over heels for him. Opposites do attract. Caspar is five foot nothing of blonde, curly haired prettiness. “Hello, Scorpius.” 

Scorpius grunts in reply. 

“You’ll have to forgive darling Scorpius,” I simper, “He’s not quite over being a small rodent. We’ll change him back soon, though.” I beam at the couple. 

“Fuck you, Weasley.” So Scorp is alive, then. 

Caspar looks meaningfully at me. “Meet you at the spot, okay?” 

Ah, crap. I bet I’m in trouble again. 

Hello my pretties! Nice to see you again. A review in passing? What is it Micheal Buckley says... "Rate it even if you hate it!"

Chapter 7: Plans in progress
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By xlivexlovexdream... @ TDA

^Matthew Grimbsy^

I own nothing!

“Rose Nymphadora Weasley, you are in so much trouble right now!” 

Problem sixteen: Caspar’s out for blood. More specifically, mine. 

“Why?” I ask wearily, sinking into a comfy chair that’s just appeared. We’re in the Room of Requirement, our spot. 

“You lead him on, push him back, turn him into a mouse—“ 

“That was Livi!” I protest, as said mouse-transformer girl slips into the room. 

“—I’m not done yet! And then wonder why he’s an arsehole.” 

“And? What’s your problem, Cas?” 

Caspar sighs deeply. I can almost hear her mind trying not to throttle me... Though why she’d want to, I don’t know. 

“You need to let him go, Rose. He’s never, ever going to be Scorp your friend ever again. You can’t just mess around like that.” 

I look Caspar up and down. “Shut up.” 

“Rose, I’m just saying this because—“ 

“Don’t! Don’t ‘just say’ anything! There’s no reason for me to give up on him, at all!” 

“There is. Did you notice Matthew Grimsby, at all?” 

“... Yeah. I was sitting by him.” 

“But did you notice him?” 

“Are you feeling okay, Cas?” 

“Rose, he likes you just as much as you like Scorpius. But he’s a good, well rounded individual. What’s wrong with you? Once, you would’ve been straight in there!” 

“I’d like to point out being hopelessly in love with an arsehole never did anyone any good,” Livi adds. 

“Alright, this is funny. Ha, ha ha ha.” I cross my arms. 

“We’re serious.” 

I gape at my best friends. “You want me to go out with Matthew?” 

“Matt, to his friends.” Caspar has gone mad. Finally lost it. 

“Jebus Crimea!” I might have done, too. 

“Now Rose, there’s no need for expletives,” Livi says calmly, smiling sweetly. 

“There is every need for expletives! What have you guys been drinking? Anything weird?” 

“Rose, you’re funny, you know that?” 

“There is no way on this earth I’m dating Matthew Grimsby!” 

“Could you at least talk to a boy that you aren’t related to, that isn’t Scorpius or Marius, for once? And Professors don’t count,” Livi pleads, “You’re not normal!” 

I sigh deeply. “Fine. What lesson are we skiving?” 

“Defence Against the Dark Arts, double period,” Caspar says from memory. 

“Damn, I like dada,” I stand up, “Come on, let’s get moving, chop chop!” 

Caspar and Livi exchange a glance. 


“We’re sitting together,” Livi says slowly. I nod. “You’re sitting with Matt.” 

I glare at them. 

They smile back. 

Oh, fantastic. 

“Girls, why are you late?” Professor Bell asks, and the whole class swivels around in their seats to stare at us. I can feel my blush heating up my thighs already. 

“Rose had to go to the hospital wing,” Livi says quickly, “She got hexed.” 

“What hex was it?” Professor questions. 

“Babbling curse,” Caspar blurts, before we can say something more interesting. 

“Well... Sit down then girls. Today we’re working on Bedazzling objects to conceal them. This can be used in emergencies to...” 

Caspar and Livi quickly claim a desk to themselves, and, as promised, I got the seat next to Matthew Grimsby, who grins at me lazily. 

He’s not actually that bad looking. 

Light brown hair... Deep brown eyes... Cute face... Nice smile... Plays Quidditch... Maybe the nutcases were onto something. 

“Rose Weasley, are you listening to me?” 

Again, thighs burning. “Yes, Professor,” I say, smiling sweetly. She looks at me suspiciously. 

“See me after class.” 


Katie Bell, my Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, went to school with my parents. She comes around every year for the Christmas party, and laughs and jokes. But in school, she doesn’t cut me any slack at all. Maybe a bit. Occasionally. 

“Now we begin the practical. You must make yourself as invisible as you can. Your partner will try to find and curse you. Begin!” 

It’s good I revised over the summer. 

“Ladies first,” Matt makes a sweeping gesture with his arm. 

“Thanks,” I say sweetly, “Tegotum!” 

I look down and find I have no body. Literally, there was nothing to see. I leg it across the room and go to sit on one of the old armchairs Professor keeps for emergencies.
Matt’s looking confused. Suddenly, an idea seems to hit him. I can almost see a light bulb above his head. 

He conjures up some glitter and blows it around the room. Suddenly, everyone has an outline, whether it disappeared or not. I vanish my glitter quickly, but everyone knows where people are now. I have to run back around the room to hide behind my attacker.
Sneaking up quietly, I pull out my wand and wait until I’m standing directly behind him to act. 

Petrificus totalus!” I yell triumphantly, and Matt snaps into a full body lock. 

“Well done, Rose,” Professor Bell says as I undo the Bedazzling charm. “Ten points to Gryffindor.” 

I beam at Matt, who looks shocked at me. I frown. He still looks shocked. 

Oh yeah, that spell... 
I laugh. “Relashio! Damn, sometimes I’m stupid.” 

“On the contrary,” Matt says, smiling, “You’re the smartest girl I know. Tegotum.” 

He left his feet behind; whether he meant to I don’t know, but he did. I pretend not to notice for a moment, and then absentmindedly stun him. 

When the bell rings for lunch, I leave him there, forgetting both him and Professor Bell.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Livi laughs. 

“Olivia! It’s not funny!” hisses Caspar. 

“No, Cas, it’s hilarious,” Livi sniggers. 

“She left him frozen with only his feet showing!” 

“You know what, Livi’s right. It is funny!” I’m laughing loudly at nothing. What’s wrong with me? 

“Shut up. It’s not funny, both of you stop laughing, and you have to apologize.” 

I stop laughing pretty quickly. “What? No way! That’s not fair!” 

“You left him on his own, invisible!” 

“Apart from his feet,” I point out, like it changes everything. 

“Shut up, Rose. In fact, don’t shut up, go and apologize to him!” 

Grumbling, I stand up and look around the common room. We’re currently making up information about Felix Felicis, which isn’t going badly, but Caspar can’t stop hissing at me. I swear, she’s more like my mother than I am. 

Matthew is sitting by the window with a couple of his friends, looking like he’s having fun. As they notice me they sober up, though. By the time I’m standing in front of them, they look like someone just farted on their puppy. 

They look a bit like Scorpius does when he sees me, actually. 

“I... Uh...” My intellect never fails to amaze me. “I’d like to apologize for leaving you... invisible apart from your feet.” 

Matthew raises an eyebrow. Just one. Aren’t I worth the effort for both? “Apology accepted.” He’s trying really hard to sound cool. It’s sweet. 

“Well, thank you.” Just because I have really overactive hormones, I kissed him on the cheek. Then I left before I did anymore damage. 

“Damn it Rose, I said apologize, not ‘woo the fuck out of him’!” Caspar hisses at me as I sit down again. 

“Shut up, Caspar,” I say absentmindedly, “Unless you’re helping me with potions.”
She huffs, but helps me anyway. She loves me really. 

“So after wooing him do you plan to go through with it and stuff?” she asks casually. I watch her carefully as she checks over my made up essay. I have a knack for getting stuff anyway, thanks to mum. 

“What do you mean, exactly, by ‘and stuff’?” I reply, watching her pull her innocent face.
“Oh, you know... If he asks you to go to Hogsmeade... Which by the way is now three weeks away... Will you go?” She thinks she’s being very clever. 

“Caspar, quit it. We’ll see how things go, you know? It depends who else asks.” 

Caspar throws down her quill and rounds on me. “For fucks sake he isn’t going to ask you!” she yells, and the common room falls silent. She’s obviously yelling about Scorpius. What changes? “Do it yourself!” She’s pointing to the essay, but it’s given me a brain wave. Marius’s plan plus Matthew... Well, this could work out well. 

“Alright then,” I say to Caspar and Livi, standing up, “I will.” 

I walk over to Matthew, again, except this time he looks a lot less... Scorp. 

“Hi, Rose,” he says, grinning broadly, “Caspar noisy much?” Oh great, he’s laughing at my demented friends. 

His friends have mysteriously disappeared. I wish Livi and Cas would do that for once in a while – every time someone approaches, they only make rude comments. 

“Hi, Matthew,” I say sweetly, “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?” 

He looks stunned. In a good way, I think. Then he blushes, and my heart melts. 

Shizz, what just happened? 

“I didn’t think there was a trip on,” he says, trying very hard to sound cool. 

“There isn’t,” I grin, “But still...” 

“I’d like to go,” he says quickly, then saves face, “If I’m not busy, that is.” 

I’m trying very hard not to laugh. Really, I am. I manage to smile sweetly again and walk away quickly, grabbing my essay and bag and heading to the library. There I plonk myself down at a spare table, fold my arms on the desk and proceed to fall asleep for half an hour. 

I love extra work to do out of lessons. Yes, that was sarcasm. Blasted stuff... Why couldn’t we just leave lessons in lessons? Way easier. 

“Rose?” I look up groggily to see Livi looking miserable, “Please make Caspar stop making out with Harry.” 

I laugh and stretch out as she plonks herself down. For a very conservative person, Caspar spends a lot of time snogging. 

“Done your potions?” I ask her, yawning. 


“Me neither.” 

“Wanna do it now?” 


“Tough shit.” 

I get up and start trudging through the shelves, searching for a book that’ll tell me everything I need to know. Perhaps how to not make a fool of myself, how to get Scorpius to be just Scorp again, how to sort out my life... 

But less of that. 

Pulling a couple of books off the shelves, I realise I have, once again, done it. Victory is mine. I’ve picked up the book that tells you all you need to know. It’s the Libero Ensurio, the book of your greatest desires. I’ve abused this book so badly with stories of me and Scorp it shouldn’t still draw me back, but it does. 

I open the dark leather cover and marvel at the plain, yellow boringness of the pages. Taking it quickly back to the table, I pick up my quill and write: 

I desire to know the properties of Felix Felicis. 

The book writes back almost immediately. 

Hello, Rose Weasley. Strange request from you. The properties of Felix Felicis are few and far between, but this essay should help you... 

I flick through a couple of pages covered in neat writing, settling on a list at the very end of the endless essay. 

After half an hour, Livi has fallen asleep on her textbook and I’ve finished the whole piece, and am ready to indulge in a beautiful piece of fantasy the book will write shortly. 

Unfortunately, fate never did run smoothly. As soon as I’ve written I desire... James shows up. 

“Rose doing homework?” he grins, ruffling his hair as he throws himself into a chair and throws an arm around me. “Do something fun for once?” 

“Don’t test me, James; I’m in a strange mood!” I threaten, making him grin wider. 

“I see you have the Lusty book out again Rose!” James says in delight, “What’s it written in its wisdom this time?” 

He picks up the book, and frowns. Handing it to me, I realise why. It reads: 

I desire— 

Rose Weasley, I cannot help you if you desire nothing. If you come back with wishes of more fairytales or help with essays, please come to me. I miss concocting tales of the forbidden kind. 

“You interrupted me,” I say sheepishly, feeling my thighs heat up. 

“’Forbidden kind’?” James questions. When I don’t blush much, he touches my face gently. “Normally you’d be like a tomato. What’ve you done?” 

“Caspar moved my blush,” I say quietly. James disapproves of me altering my body. He’s frowning at me right about now. 

“Suit yourself,” he sounds like he’d rather move it back then let me live, “but what’s this ‘forbidden kind’?” 

I snatch the book back, cradling it to my chest. “None of your business.” 

“Yes it is! I’m almost your big brother; I’m protecting your virtue!” 

I snort rudely. “I haven’t had virtue for about eight months.” 

James looks horror struck, but luckily Livi chooses this moment to wake up, therefore saving me. 

“Jamie?” she says sleepily, “What are you doing in the girl’s dorm?” 

“It’s the library, love,” James says romantically. 

“Meh,” replies Livi, equally romantically. She then proceeds to put her head back down on her book and go back to sleep. 

“I’ll carry her back,” James says bravely, “Give me her bag.” 

I hand it to him, and he gathers her up in his arms, pushing her heavy book towards me. 

“How gallant of you,” I say dryly, “Who said chivalry is dead?” 

My amazing banter is lost on James, who is currently gazing down at Livi with the love usually reserved for old, married couples. He pulls himself together to ask me the same old questions. 

“Any boys after her?” He tries hard to sound casual for the first minute or two, but after that it’s a blur of insecurity. 

“You mean there are straight guys that don’t go for willowy, stunning and Quidditch player?” I ask in mock disbelief. James’ mask is already dropping as we walk past a portrait of gossiping veela. 

“Alright then... Anyone make a move?” 

“No, James. Livi’s as intact as ever.” 

“Just checking.” Anyone who does make a move get’s swiftly dispatched of. It used to mystify poor Livi, but then again me and Caspar swore not to tell her. For a smart person, she’s remarkably sheltered. “So... She interested in anyone?” 

“Might be.” 

“Might be?!” It’s this kind of stuff that makes James go into meltdown. He almost drops Livi, and then recovers himself. “Who?” 

It’s less of a question than a statement, or demand. He’s pushy about Livi, but not with her. 


“Rose. This is important.” 

“Nope, not telling. Next question, if you please?” 


“Some people would say it’s unfair to talk behind her back.” 

Yeah, that shut you up. 

“Rose, please?” 




“Pretty ple—“ 

“Damnit no!” 

James starts to sulk. I ignore him. 

Livi stirs in her new bed that is James. “What you doing?” she mumbles. 

“Nothing, love,” James replies. 

“You smell like jumper.” 

I desire a normal friend.

Hey, Ella agin... who else would it be? It's the story fairy! Ahem. Moment over. As always, I adore reading your reviews, and I do reply to them, but unlike other fan sites I've found (specifically Twilighted, which is where I started) you have to chase up replies on HPFF. Oh well.
Love as ever!

Chapter 8: Trials
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By Lady Malfoy. Phwoar.

I own Sweet Luke, but not Harry Potter...

Dear mum, 
It’s been a week since I came back to this... place... and nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I accidently turned Scorpius into a mouse, but that was a small thing and it won’t happen again, I promise. I’ve been studying hard, Quidditch trials are today, so maybe I’ll win a prize or something. 
Hope you’re well and make sure dad doesn’t blow up the washing machine!

Problem Seventeen: I’m a compulsive liar. 

I can’t tell my own mum what I’m thinking in case it offends her. Even my friends don’t know everything about me. In fact, the one night stand where I lost my mind knows a little more than they do. Possibly because he was reading my mind. 

That might be a lie. It might just be me that’s confused about my own thoughts. 

I’m up at eight o’clock. On a Saturday. Why? I hear you ask. What sane person wakes up willingly at that hour? Well, I guess it’s because trials start at ten, and we want to warm up. We being Caspar, sleepy Livi, and me. 

The pitch is empty, surprise surprise, and everything is misty. In a nice, morning on the moors way, not like Dementor fog. 

“Good conditions, nice temperature, no wind, I think we’ve got a good one!” Cas rattles off. 
I ignore her, still annoyed that I’m here. Two hours isn’t a warm up, its torture. I’ve already said this a few times, so I doubt anyone will listen this time. 

Even in her comatose state, Livi thought this wouldn’t be a bad idea. She’s currently hauling the crate of balls out ready to start. Chucking me the Quaffle, she rubs her eyes. I catch it even in my state of mind, and put it gently on the ground. 

Suddenly, there are shapes in the fog. “Stupefy!” I yell, and hear a satisfying thud in reply. 

“Rose you nutcase!” I also hear Albus yelling. Huh. “That’s James you just stunned!” 

“Serves him right, creeping up on me like that,” I say proudly, “I’ll be famous for my reflexes yet!” 

“Enervate,” Albus sighs, “Shame I feel I have to wake the bugger up.” 

James groans and opens his eyes to see us two peering down at him. 

“I thought I was in heaven,” he says dreamily, “Then I saw you two.” 

“Charming,” I remark, “I wonder what Olivia will have to say about that.” 

James looks at me in frustration. 

Ah, emotional blackmail. It’s the best. 

“Guys! We’re supposed to be warming up!” Cas yells, “Al and James, you can join in!” 

I groan, and Albus sniggers. “I wondered why you were out here so early. Caspar made you!” 

I shoot him the filthiest look I can manage. “This is no laughing matter! She has unbelievable power in her muscles, and being that it’s stupid o’clock I’m not functioning properly to fight back!” 

“Just be glad you got the Weasley Quidditch skills,” James says darkly, “I saw a picture of your mum on a broom. It was like putting a fish on a Thestral.” 

“That makes no sense, you plonker,” Al says. 

“Yes it does!” James argues, “Helpless and doomed to fail.” 

“Huh,” I chip in, “He’s got a point. Mum apparates everywhere because she doesn’t like flying.” 

“Guys! Come over here and gear up!” Cas yells, louder than before, “We haven’t got all day!” 

Bracing myself, I stroll back over to her, pick up my broom and stare at her glowering face for a moment. 

“Something wrong, Cas?” I ask sweetly. 

“I AM GETTING ONTO THIS TEAM WITH OR WITHOUT YOU!” she bellows. I flinch. She hasn’t yelled that loud for a while. “Get on your broom before I go MAD!” 

I obey quickly, not even stopping to laugh at my stunned cousins. They look like they’ve been slapped. 

Cas flies up to meet us, holding the Quaffle. “Get in a circle! I throw, you catch! Understood?” 

We nod quickly, scared of another outburst. She really can be terrifying. 

We work our way through drills, stopping only when Livi falls asleep on her broom. James disappears and reappears with toast that vanishes without the help of magic, pleasing Livi, who kissed him on the cheek again for stopping her tummy growling. It was cute enough to make James blush and me smirk. 

“Half past nine!” Albus announces as I score against Caspar, for the third time in only an hour. She’s good, this girl. 

“Let’s get off the pitch,” I yell, being further away than anyone else, “So we just look amazing. People will start arriving soon.” 

So we pack up and trudge off the pitch, taking showers and refreshing our robes. Stepping fresh back out onto the pitch twenty minutes later, I realise this is a huge event. Loads of people are crammed into the middle row seats, at least fifty people are crowding around the north facing hoops, and Sweet Luke himself is on his broom in the sky, watching the scene helplessly as chaos unfolds. I can hear him mumbling.
“Uh... guys? Can we make a line, please?” 

Livi and I turn to look at Cas expectantly. She rolls her eyes, but points her wand at her throat. 

“Shut it, you lot!” Her voice echoes over the stadium. “Sw—Luke is trying to do tryouts! Those still talking might be disqualified for not obeying their captain...” 

Everyone immediately falls silent. If the voice Caspar’s using isn’t scary enough, no one wants to be disqualified. 

Sweet Luke copies Cas’s spell and makes his voice boom across the stadium in its dusky tones. “Hello, thanks for turning up and a special thanks to Caspar for giving me some control.” 

“Oh yeah, favour the band of sluts!” Someone yells. No one says a word. 

“Sluts, did you say?” I ask politely, a wicked edge to my voice that frankly sounds terrifying, “I wonder who said that? Say it to my face, sunshine, or I might snog you in a cupboard.” 

A short, pretty brunette pushes her way to the front. “I said, you’re a band of sluts,” she sneers, “Rose Weaslet, Olivia Posho-name and Caspar the blonde bitch!” 

“Harry’s ex,” Cas whispers, “Real psycho. Tried to burn his hair off.” 

“Oh goodie,” I mutter, walking towards the girl. I wait until we’re nose to nose to do anything. “Don’t be nasty, it messes up your face,” I say sweetly, and then think Levicorpus! 

I turn and walk away, leaving her dangling there. Livi shoots the pants spell at her too, for good measure. No one smack talks us. 

“Anyone else got a problem?” asks James, stepping around me protectively. 

“Why are you even here?” I ask him confusedly, “I thought you just got signed.” 

“I did...” he replies, “But then Professor Macmillan sends me a letter asking me to be a teacher! So I thought—“ 

“Oh dear lord,” I say, aghast, and turn my back on him. James in school again? No! 
No, no, no! 

Sweet Luke looks uncomfortable. “Please don’t bitch about your possible future teammates,” he says, “Split up into groups of six and wait in a line by the north hoops, please.” 

Livi, Caspar, Albus and I join two fourth years who can’t take their eyes off the floating girl, who is now screaming indignantly. Caspar holds up her wand, and the fourth years stare at her greedily, eager to see more happen to the short psycho. She must be unpopular. 

Silencio,” she says calmly, and the girl can no longer make such an annoying noise. “We must look evil, hanging that idiot upside down.” 

“Nah,” Livi waves away the accusation, “We’re just a band of sluts anyway.” 

We break down into laughter. 

“Uh, I think we should be moving,” says one of the fourth years nervously. 

Haha! Be afraid, very afraid! Who dares to speak to us, the band of sluts! 
“Oh, of course,” Livi sings, “We want to be on this team!” 

“Do you think we’ll make it?” asks the other little person. No, not Al, the other fourth year. “I’m Marcie, by the way. Marcie with an ‘i e’ not a ‘y’.” 

Yeah, your name will really help you. 

“I dunno,” I reply, “Can you fly?” 

The fourth year puffs herself up. “Yes, of course! Grace and I were voted best fliers in our class.” 

“Well, good for you and Grace. If you can fly and are willing to put in the effort, do it,” Cas encourages. 

I give her a look. “Hello, mum.” 

She gives me the finger. 


“Girls, we’re up,” Al says nervously. Suddenly, something like killer worms attacks my stomach. 

“I can’t do it!” I cry, “I suck at Quidditch! Why am I here?” 

“Get on your broom, you plonker,” Livi drawls. I listen to her, trying to control my ragged breath. Grace and Marcie are staring at me strangely. 

“Alright,” Sweet Luke says, watching the last people land and making notes on some scrap parchment, “Next group! Fly twice around the pitch as fast as you can. Ready, set, go!” 

I go shooting off; Livi and Caspar equally fast to me. Al, who wasn’t paying attention, catches up quickly. The other girls are left to plod on. We make two laps in less than twenty seconds – not a record, but not bad. We land and wait for Marcie and Grace, who land ten second after us. Not bad for young’uns. 

“Well done!” Luke yells from his lofty post, “Next!” 

I stumble towards the other groups. “I hope I get in, because you just flew into my leg, Al!” 

Al snorts. “Well if you weren’t so busy racing Livi, you’d be fine!” 

“You landed badly!” 

“You were all bad!” 

We glare at each other for a moment, and then I laugh. “We rocked!” 

He laughs too. 

“I swear to Merlin, you guys are the strangest family I’ve ever been part of,” I whirl around to see Roxanne grinning, her arm rested on Fred. Despite the age difference they’re roughly the same height. 

“Roxy!” I call delightedly, scooping both her and her brother into a hug. 

“Bloody hell!” Fred protests, “I only came to try out, and now I’m next in line to be murdered by a slut!” 

Roxanne hits him. “Fred you arsehole!” 

“What’s this about sluts I know?” Louis appears, decked out in a Ravenclaw scarf. “Nice trial, guys.” 

“Are you spying on us?” I ask suspiciously. Louis looks affronted. 

“Spying on you? No! I’m spying on Captain Heart Throb up there.” He points up at Luke, who is currently looking mildly horrified at a group of second years, one of which just crashed his broom. 

“So you admit that he’s good looking?” I ask innocently. Louis swings more towards the male side of life, but he won’t admit it. 

“Yes, I do,” he confirms, “But don’t get over excited.” 

“It’s too late,” Fred remarks, “She’s peed herself.” 

I hit him... Lightly, though. He still makes a show of being hurt. 

“C’mon, Lou!” I whine, “You’ve got to admit it one day! You like—“ 

He clamps a hand over my mouth. 

“Are you mad?” he hisses, “We’re in a crowd! And besides, I have a girlfriend!” 

My eyes just about pop out of my head. He takes his hand away slowly; watching me to make sure I don’t blurt out what we both know is true. 

“You have a girlfriend?” Roxy says, “How the hell did you do that? You know the Imperious curse is illegal, right?” 

“Oh, ha, ha. Actually, she asked me—“ 

“Well, you wouldn’t ask her, would you?” 

“—and I said yes. We’re going to Hogsmeade on the trip.” He looks immensely smug.
“Well I’m going tomorrow with Matthew, so why don’t you come too?” I ask sweetly. 

“Alright then!” Louis says, unwilling to back down despite the fact he looks terrified. 

Bloody Weasley genes. 

“Meet me by the Honeydukes tunnel,” I command, “And bring your lovely girlfriend.” 

“Fine then!” he huffs. I smile. 

“Sounds like a date.” 

“Excuse me, guys, could you pay attention?” Ah, bless Sweet Luke. 

Everyone turns to look at him, even upside-down-brunette-psycho. 

“Could the following people stay for further trials, please; Venus Shade...” 

I toned him out, yawning widely. It was a stupid idea to be up so early, truly. Why I even listen to Caspar is a mystery to me. I’d be fine without her... I think. Maybe I’d have a little difficulty with some things, but overall... 

“—Rose Weasley, Caspar Clark, Olivia Hampton-Gray, Albus Potter—“ 

“Get in there!” Caspar whisper cheers. I high five her. 

“My name sounds ridiculous,” Livi says moodily, holding her hand up for a high five of her own. 

“We got through! We got through!” Albus chants quickly under his breath. I grin at him. 

Sweet Luke finishes reading off names and claps his hands. “Uh... The rest of you, thanks for trying out.” 

Loads of people trudge off the pitch, leaving about fifteen people. That’s eight people to get rid of. 

I look over my competition quickly. A couple look like they’re about to have a heart attack, one is shaking visibly and another is swaying. 

Good so far. 

Sweet Luke lands near us and beckons. We all walk over. 

“Alright, we’re going to do some drills,” he pauses to pick up the Quaffle. “Don’t get on your brooms yet. Get in a circle, please. I throw, you catch. Got it?” 

I exchange a look with Livi. This sounds very, very familiar. Sweet Luke passes to the shaking guy, who fumbles it but still holds strong and throws it back to him. He rockets it at Cas, who catches it and whams it right back at him. He throws it to some other boy, and carries on playing despite the horrific drop the kid makes. This goes on for a while, and then Luke announces we should get on our brooms to do the same thing. 

Further trials go on for six long hours, by the end of which I’m tired, hungry and quite irritable. 

“—fly twice around the pitch, catch the Quaffle, dodge the Bludger, and then take it from the top,” Luke says, and I give up. 

“For fucks sakes!” I yell, “Can’t you just pick a fucking team and be done with it!” 

Everyone turns to look at me. Caspar has a look of total horror on her face, asking why I’m so stupid. I’m red faced, mud splattered, glaring at Sweet Luke. I never thought I’d glare at Sweet Luke. 

“Rose,” Sweet Luke says, “Please go wait on the stands.” 

I fly down to the ground, muttering every bad word I was ever taught by James. 

“Fuck... stupid twatting game... shitting bloody hell!” 

I stomp into the changing room, stripping off my sweaty kit and turning on the showers. Soothing my aching muscles under the hot stream, I keep glaring at everything and anything. 

Why do I always open my mouth like that? Can’t I just be patient? 

Bloody feet. Toenails need cutting, again. And my legs could do with a wax. 

Hey! Now I’m back at Hogwarts I can do that with magic! 

I rush back into the changing room and grab my wand, twirling it through my hair to straighten it perfectly. 

Pointing the stick of wood and unicorn hair at my feet, my toenails pedicure themselves perfectly. 

I love magic! 

Quickly, almost faster than flying, I flick my wand and all the hair pulls itself off my legs.
“Ow, shit!” I yell. I forgot how painful it is. 

But at least they look good now. 

“Rose, are you in there?” Livi calls from outside, “Luke wants to see you.” 

“What, now?” I call back. 

“Yeah now!” 

I sigh and get dressed, vanishing the pile of hair on the floor. 

Striding calmly out of the doors, I notice everyone has mysteriously disappeared. In fact, they’re flying so high above they look like ants. 

“Rose,” Sweet Luke calls from my right. 

I walk over to him. He looks me up and down. 

“Yes?” I ask, feeling all of ten years old and waiting to be told I couldn’t have a pony.
“I know the process is long, and I’m sorry. Practices are going to be on the notice board – be there.” 

I shrug nonchalantly, like I knew he’d want me on the team. “Alright, see you there, Luke.” 


Apologies for the lack of Scorpius! I promise next chapter there will be contact of the blonde kind...
xx Ella

Chapter 9: Dear Mr Malfoy, I'm going to KILL your son...
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

By Lady Malfoy at The Dark Arts. Big love!

Side note: Not mine, bla bla bla, necessary plonk.

Problem eighteen: I’m going on a date. For the first time in over a year. 

“Rose, will you chill the fuck out?” Lucinda, another one of my roommates, yells at me, brandishing her hairbrush like a weapon. 

“NO!” I yell back, “This is serious! Where are my shoes?” 

Caspar flings said shoes at my head. “Put them on and get going!” 

I wodge my feet into the black, shiny pumps and check my reflection. 

Not bad – straightened red hair, navy blue tank top, black jeans and the best shoes in the world. They’ve been through a lot with me, and I still can’t let them go. The shoes, that is. I’ve enlarged them several times, put them through snow, rain, sand and mud in various quantities, and never got bored of them. 

“Get gone Rose!” Livi shouts, emerging from the shower with her hair slicked back. 

She looks unbelievable. James would pay huge amounts of money to see her now. 

I take a deep breath; pick up the delicate little bag I bought over the summer in a Muggle shop and walk down the stairs. 

Matthew is waiting by the fire, looking a tad nervous. 

Me and you both, sonny. 

“Hi,” I say quietly. 

What the hell? You, quiet? “Hey, Rose,” Matthew replies, his face breaking out into a smile. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited my cousin and his girlfriend on the journey,” He looks like he minds... “But they’ll leave us as soon as we get into Hogsmeade,” I finish quickly, and his face relaxes back into a smile. 

“Alright,” he declares, “Let’s go.” 

He takes my hand, and we walk through the hallways until we’re on the third floor, standing by a statue of a haggard old one-eyed witch. Louis isn’t here yet. 

“Can we just wait for my cousin?” I ask nicely. Matthew smiles and nods. We stand in silence. Not good silence, uncomfortable silence. 

“So where are we going?” Matthew asks, breaking the uncomfortable fug. 

“Oh Matthew, I don’t know,” I say airily, “Three Broomsticks, probably.” 

“What about Madam Puddifoot’s? And it’s Matt for friends,” Matt suggests. I try my hardest not to shudder at the mention of that disgusting little tearoom. How it made it past the death of Madam Puddifoot I’ll never know. 

Luckily, before I have to break it to my date that I hate silly little romantic bum on toast type places, Louis turns up, followed by a pretty blonde who is pretty much drop dead gorgeous. She looks like she just stepped out of Witch Weekly’s beauty section, or one of Caspar’s muggle magazines. 

“Hello,” she says in a delicate Russian accent, “I’m Petrova. It’s a pleasure to meet you; Louis has told me you’re one of the quickest people in Hogwarts.” 

Huh, a hidden warning. I wonder if tall blonde and beautiful got the message Louis meant, namely don’t make her angry because she learned a book of curses especially for idiots who might not be good enough for me in her eyes. 

He couldn’t ever say that to her face, of course. There’s no need to make anyone scared. 

“Charmed, I’m sure,” I say smoothly, taking her outstretched hand and shaking it. 

“I think we should be going,” Louis says quickly, stopping me from asking every question I want to ask. 

Who are you? Where do you live? What makes you think Louis likes girls? 

“Sure, sure,” I agree, catching his eye. “Dissendium.” I tap the top of the witch’s hump, and it slides open. “Who’s first?” 

Matt is still boggling at the passage that’s just opened, and Louis is looking mildly worried as Petrova starts to breath unnaturally fast. 

“Alright, I’ll go,” I concede, and slip into the tunnel, shooting down the slide until I hit solid ground. 

Jumping onto my feet quickly, I clap my hands once to turn on the strings of lanterns Livi and I spent hours putting up before we even knew who Caspar was, way back in first year. We thought they looked cute then, and they still do now. 

Hearing something coming down the chute, I move out of the way. Matt flies through the air before landing on his bum, looking both amazed and scared. 

“Rose?” he calls, “Where’ve you gone?” 

Moving up behind him, I put my hands over his eyes. “Guess who?” 


And suddenly, I’m falling on my arse. 

“Whoops – sorry guys!” 

“Bloody hell Louis, give us some warning,” I moan, standing up again and brushing dirt off my bum. 

“Alright, Pet’s coming,” he announces cheerfully. 

“Pet?” I ask disgustedly. He shoots me a look. 

“One word Rose, and I’ll put hair removal cream in your shampoo again,” he threatens. I widen my eyes at him. 

“It was you who did it! You little arsehole, Louis! I’ll bloody kill you after today!” 

“Why after today?” 

“I don’t want blood on my hands for my date.” 

Taking Matt’s hand again, I start to walk down the long tunnel towards Hogsmeade. 

“So Matt, what do you do? I notice you weren’t at Quidditch trials,” I say conversationally, deciding I’ll just talk crap until I make a decision on this whole date thing. 

“Well, I’m interested in Healing. I’ve got a lot of compassion, I like to help people—“ 

You sound exactly the opposite of Scorp. Do I want you to shut up or not? I can't quite decide.

“—I find Potions is my best subject, and I have quite steady hands, so I reckon I’m perfectly fitted to it. Healing, that is. What about you, Rose?” 

“Oh, you know, this and that...” I dithered, “I like Duelling... Quidditch... I think Auror. I’d love to be an Auror.” 

“Dangerous. A pretty girl like you might hurt themselves.” 

Patronising git! 

“Don’t make me hex you,” I reply fiercely. 

“Where does this tunnel lead, then?” 

“Honeydukes. There are other passages, but this one’s nicest. Do you like the lights?”

“Thanks – I helped.” 

We talk until we reach the slope that meanders up to the trap door, and I quickly push it open and check the dusty basement. 

No one seems to be home. 

Sliding a crate of jelly slugs over so it blocks the view of the trap door, I climb out and beckon Matt to follow. 

A door creaks, and I freeze. 

“Well, well, well. What have we here, then? A Weasley? No surprise.” 

Oh dear God. It’s Draco Malfoy. 

“—and so I’m afraid I caught your pupil trespassing,” Mr Malfoy drawls. 

I’ve never seen anyone glare as hard as Professor Macmillan is right now. “Right. Where?"

“The cellar of Honeydukes – my son tipped me off after he overheard talk of a special tunnel going to Hogsmeade. Undoubtedly, this was the end of the tunnel. He also said others were going – perhaps we should ask Weasley who?” 

Bloody hell. Matthew got away, Louis and Pet got away, and I’m stuck here with Mr Might-Have-Been-Gorgeous-Like-Scorp-Once, getting the bloody go over. Not fair. 

And, to top it all off, Scorp was the snitch. I’m going to have to kill him. First, I’ve got to take these shoes off. I’m not ruining them while I kill him. 

“Well, Mr Malfoy, this is a strange turn of events. Rose is usually very well behaved.” 

“Well behaved! She torments my son in Potions, and transformed him into a mouse!” 

“Would that be the Potions class where she’s earning top marks for the both of them?” 

“More like my son’s earning them top marks!” 

“Let’s ask him, then. Rose, would you please fetch Scorpius. I do believe he’s on the Quidditch pitch.” 

“Of course, Professor,” I say sweetly, flashing Mr Malfoy a smile. He glares back. 

I’m going to KILL your son, understand? 


I leave the Headmaster’s study and walk quickly out to the pitch, noting a lack of people. It is, to be fair, a Sunday. 

Walking onto the pitch, I see Slytherin deep in a training session. Scorpius was flying around the pitch catching golf balls thrown by the keeper, a look of deep concentration on his face. 

“OI, TWAT!” I yell, and he looks round, startled. A golf ball hits him on the temple. 

He focuses on me. 

“What the fuck do you want?” he yells back. 

“Headmaster wants you,” I yell. Everyone has stopped training, watching us yell. 

“You on the Gryffindor team, Rose?” yells Scarlett, a pretty girl who’s actually a nice person. God knows why she’s in Slytherin. 

“Yeah. Be afraid!” I reply. Scorpius lands a metre from me, and starts walking to the castle, not waiting for me. 

I catch up to him. “I do believe I saw a Thestral’s Twist there, Malfoy. Wasn’t that the move you dubbed ‘idiotic and pointless’?” 

“Shut up.” 

“So I’m right, then. Now why would your own team be going against your judgement?” 

“Shut up.” 

“I guess it turns out you were wrong. Thank Merlin they didn’t listen to you, huh?” 

“Can’t you just shut the fuck up?” 

“Wait; let me think about this... No. You ratted me out to your daddy, Scorpius. What kind of arsehole does that?” 

“Shut up.” 

“You! That’s who! You ratted me out, and ruined my date, shit head!” 


“Fucking Mortire!” I yell, jabbing my wand at him, and Scorp’s face suddenly starts to box out, turning grey. “You don’t even care! At least most people would have the decency to apologize! Don’t you have a conscience? What’s wrong with you? You don’t ever smile! You never relax! Fucking uptight arsehole!” 

He stares at me, unable to speak. He looks like a big, grey piece of stone. 

“I prefer you like this,” I say bitterly, “You can’t curse me, you can’t insult me, and you can’t hurt me in any way. Shame you’re expected.” 

Waving my wand, the spell starts to recede, and his head starts to return to its previous shape. I start to walk away before he’s even human looking again, marching off back to Professor Macmillan’s study. 

“Rose,” the man himself says when I return, “Where’s Scorpius?” 

“He’s on his way,” I say tiredly, flinging myself into one of the squishy red armchairs he keeps handy. 

Just then, Scorpius himself pushes open the door and scowls at me. I glare back, with the Granger look firmly in place. 

Take that, you snitching little bugger. 

“Father?” Scorpius says in horror, “What on Earth are you doing here?” 

“I came to reprimand the person you say has been giving you hell,” replies Mr Malfoy, one eyebrow raised. 

“He caught me in Honeydukes,” I say breezily. 

“The basement, Weasley,” Malfoy senior shoots back. 

I wave my hand, like the details are hazy. 

“Your father tells me you sent a message informing him that Rose and some others would be visiting Hogsmeade illegally,” Macmillan tells him, as if he didn’t know. “Is this true?” 

“Y—No,” Scorp says. I whip my head round and stare at him. Is he getting me out of trouble? 

“What did you just say?” Big Malfoy looks horrified. 

“I didn’t send that message. I never said that. I have no idea what’s going on,” Scorpius says. 

I think I’m going to choke. I should curse him more often, if he does this in return. 


“Thank you, Mr Malfoy, for bringing Rose back to Hogwarts. You may go now,” Professor Macmillan firmly insists, “I’ll deal with these two.” 


“Please leave before I have to find someone to escort you off the premises.” 

I love my head teacher. 

As Mr Malfoy sends me one last sneer and leaves, said head teacher rounds on me. 

“Honestly, Miss Weasley, how could you be so irresponsible? Tunnels through the school! My word, so many people could have snuck in and out! All those parties that were seemingly stocked full of sweets make sense...” 

I glaze over, nodding occasionally. 

“Miss Weasley, are you listening?” The Professors voice is suddenly right in my ear. 

“What?” I ask rudely, startled from my reverie. Scorp sniggers. 

“I said, detention with Professor Bell on Tuesday. Be there or the consequences will be serious.” 

I restrain myself from rolling my eyes. “Yes, Professor.” 

“You may leave.” 

I stand up, and notice Scorpius is slouching against the wall, waiting for me to leave. 

As I walk past him, he straightens up, ready to get back to Quidditch. He’s so close I could touch him. I want to apologize for yelling at him. I want to tell him I’m sorry for cursing him. I want to hug him. 

“Move, Weasley,” he hisses, and I realise I’ve paused, my hand on the door. I leave quickly, listening to the sound of his footsteps behind me. 

Back in the common room, Matt legs it across the room to see if I’m okay. 

“I’m fine,” I say, smiling, “Just got detention, that’s all.” 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t go with you,” he apologizes. 

“No, it’s fine, really,” I reply, looking at his eyes. They’re blue, like babies eyes. I look away. 

They’re not the eyes I want to be looking into. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” he promises, “I’ll take you out. I promise.” 

“Thanks,” I say, trying not to look at his eyes. 

I kiss him on the cheek and leave, walking tiredly up to the dorm. Inside, Livi jumps on me. 

“I got asked out!” she yells in my ear. 

“Ow!” I complain, “By who?” 

“Sweet Luke!” she yells, oblivious to the pain she’s causing in my ears, “I got asked out by SWEET LUKE!” 

Caspar emerges from under her bed. “You think your ears are bad, wait until she really gets into it.” 

“Brilliant. I had news for you, but I guess it can wait.” 

“News? I love news! I love news! Tell me some news, Rosie!” Livi sings. I’m stuck between finding her nauseating and sweet. 

“Scorp saved my arse.” 

Caspar chokes on the water she’s drinking. Livi thumps her on the back, looking interested. “Really? How?” 

“He dug me out of a hole. And saved Matt while he was at it. Which is why I only have one detention.” 

Caspar stops spluttering and looks at me with utter disbelief on her face. “No shit? This isn’t something you dreamed up while staring at him?” 



“Besides, that was a one time thing...” 

Oi! You lot! Do you read this? Review if you have a spare moment...


Chapter 10: Memoria
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Another fabulous image by Lady Malfoy at The Dark Arts =)

Ah, sorry for the indecent postings. I'm afraid I signed up for a load of challenges, and they took all my validation time.

But still! Here I am, again, to greet you.

Not mine!

It’s September the First. 

I’m rolling my trunk through the train, trying to find a compartment. Al and James have gone off with their friends, and suddenly I’m panicking. Everywhere seems full. 

Just as I’m about to sit down and wait until we get to Hogwarts, my bottom lip quivering as the thought hits me I’m alone, I spot an empty place. Well, almost. 

There’s a boy in there. I recognise him from somewhere – he seems almost as familiar as walking. 

I push the door open, startling him. “Can I sit here?” I ask softly. He nods, not looking up from the book he’s holding like a lifeline. He’s concentrating hard, making his forehead scrunch up. His messy blonde hair is sticking up like Al’s does, except it looks nice. I like him immediately. I want to be near him. 

I stow my trunk in the luggage rack, pushing it up slowly so it doesn’t fall on my head. I also put the wicker basket with my new tortoiseshell kitten on a seat, making sure it’s secure. When I turn to sit down, the boy has lowered his book and is gaping at me. 

“You’re a Weasley,” he says slowly. 

“Yes,” I frown, “How’d you know?” 

“You have red hair.” 


“My father said to stay away from Weasley’s.” 

I raise an eyebrow at the boy, feeling more confident. “Oh? Why?” 

“Because you cause trouble. You’re bad news.” 

I just about wet myself laughing. “No I’m not!” 

The boy scowls at me. “Well, you look funny.” 

“Rose Weasley, pleased to meet you,” I say, holding out my hand. He takes it warily. 

“Scorpius Malfoy.” 

“Oh! So you’re the one I’m supposed to be beating.” I grin. 

Scorpius scoffs. “Not likely!” 

We bicker lightly all the way to Hogwarts, laughing and making fun of old prejudices.
It’s the start of everything Uncle Harry fought for. For unity between old enemies. 

He’s my best friend, along with Olivia, a girl I meet in my new dorm. We’re a gang, always together, until he has to go to bed. But sometimes he sneaks into the 
Gryffindor dorm and we stay up all night, annoying mean Caspar. 

Life’s good. 

It’s September the first again. This time, I’m thirteen and making my way determinedly through the train to the last carriage near the engine, to find Scorp and Livi. We always have that carriage, and it’s our tradition to sit and make fun of our summer each year. 

Livi spent most of the summer at mine, but we didn’t see Scorp once. He wrote a few times at the start of the summer, but then he stopped. I missed it when he did – I held out for those letters. I really do like him, even more than Livi thinks. I love my best friend. How clichéd is that? 

I’m going to chew him out for not writing, that’s for sure. 

When I get to that carriage, it’s just Livi there, looking moody. 

“He left us,” she grumbles, “He left us for those annoying Slytherins.” 

“Well, he has to have friends in his own dorm,” I say positively, but I feel disappointed too. 

He has left, really, and everything is a little subdued. We don’t do much, but sit and talk about him. 

When we’re at Hogwarts, I see him on the Platform, and try to make my way towards him. He disappears into the crowd. 

Livi and I sit through the sorting ceremony miserably, because it’s usually him that lightens the mood, pulling faces at us so we giggle. 

When Professor Macmillan, our new head teacher, dismisses us, I fight my way across the room to him. He has his back to me. 

“Scorp!” I call, and he ignores me, walking towards the dungeons. “Scorp!” 

I grab the back of his robes. He shakes me off and turns round, a sneer on his face. 

“What do you want?” he demands. My face falls. 

“You didn’t sit with us,” I say softly, like the day I met him, “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong. Go away.” He turns and leaves. 

Tears prick at my eyes. What gives him the right to be so mean? 

Livi has made her way over to me. “Come on,” she says, “Let’s go. He’ll be fine, just give him some space.” 

As it turned out, all the space in the world didn’t help. He never laughed with us again; just at us.

Problem nineteen: I miss Scorp. 

I sit bolt upright in bed. Generally, I store these memories away for moments of crisis, like when I had to write five songs for Dom in a day. 

I did it, but it was one of the most draining things ever. 

Leaning back against my bed frame, the curtains closed so it’s almost like I’m alone, I peer up at the collage that only I can view. 

There’s me, Scorp and Livi in robes too big for us, laughing silently and running around in the grounds by the lake. Occasionally, when I look up at this picture, Scorp has walked out. He’s not there today. 

Then there’s the picture I took, my arm outstretched, of us three on the Platform at the end of second year, when I knew I loved him. I was kissing him on the cheek, smiling, and Livi had her arms around both of us. Second year Scorp and me are currently snogging like I never could’ve done at that age, very passionately. Second year Livi looks bored. 

And then there’s the diamond girls – Caspar, Livi and I. Al took the picture after lots of bribery, and we’re all dressed in beautiful dresses, striking poses far too ridiculous for us. It’s a mess of laughter and silk. 

And then there’s my most treasured picture: Scorpius Malfoy, whispering in my ear. I didn’t develop it magically because I feared it might change and we would be fighting like we were when Caspar took it. We paused for a moment so Scorp could tell me I was a bitch quietly, but the look on my face suggests he’s whispering sweet nothings instead of words I wouldn’t say to my mother’s face. He’s trapped in this picture with his eyes closed, his mouth stuck in a permanent pout. His exact words were: 

“You’re probably the biggest bitch in Hogwarts, or the world.” 

Cas caught him on the ‘probably’ so his lips are in a perfect shape ready to kiss my cheek. Sort of. 

I like to sit and work myself into a state of half bliss, half depression, which works well for my song writing. Speaking of which... 

A brainwave hits me. What better time than sometime past midnight with school tomorrow to write the chords to my song? 

I lean over the side of my bed, pushing past the heavy red fabric, to come face to face with Sassy. 

“Hey, gorgeous,” I breath, and she nuzzles my face. Grabbing her and my school bag, I hurry back under the canopy. 

She’s my cat, okay? She might not act like it, and she does spend pretty much all of her time wandering around with Scorpius, who she loves almost as much as I do. 

When she does show up she does give me a lot of affection, and she knows when to turn up, like when I’m depressed. She probably knew I was looking at the photos! 

Sassy curls up in a ball on my pillow, purring softly. 

I dig around and grab my guitar from my bag, taking the spells off it so it’s regular size.
Strumming it softly, I run through what I already have. A whole two bars – go me. 

“Oh it’s a problem...” I sing softly. 

“Not now Rose!” moans Caspar from across the room. I ignore her, merely placing a blanket of silence around my bed with a wave of my wand. 

I keep strumming softly, working through patterns and rhythms in my head. By what my body clock is saying is almost morning, I’ve finished. 

I wake up to the sound of giggling. “Shuddup,” I mumble, and hear the sound of a camera going off. 

A small, delicate thing brushes against my face. I open my eyes. Sassy is sleeping on my chest, a feat that is near impossible due to the weird position I’m sleeping in, half curled around my guitar and half spread out across the bed. My legs are the former, my upper body the latter. Her tail is flicking across my nose. 

It’s Lucinda with the camera. She looks rather smug. 

“You weren’t doing much,” She reassures me, “But your cat kept purring when you snored.” 

“Thanks,” I say. I don’t mean it, at all. 

“Rose,” Caspar says in a serious voice, “You need to see the Hogwarts Rag.” 

The Hogwarts Rag is an underground newspaper run by one Verity Narciss, an annoying girl I promised an interview to last year when she wouldn’t leave me alone. 

“Give it here,” I say bravely. Livi bites her lip and hands me the newest edition. It only comes out when there’s gossip going, but since there’s gossip everywhere in Hogwarts it can be as much as four times a week. Students love it – including me, when it’s not about me. 

Rose Weasley’s new hottie! 

The headline proclaims. Oh, fabulous. 

Could Rose Weasley be on to a new trend? Yes, says this journalist! The trend the oldest of the Weasley-Granger children is promoting is DATE A NO-ONE. After much investigation, it has been discovered that this ‘no-one’ is one Matthew Grimsby, a cute boy with few flaws. 

“He’s so sweet,” A confirmed source says, “He treats her so well. They make an adorable couple.” 

Is Matthew the new it boy? He does have many credentials to do so – the killer girlfriend, the adorable face and hair, and six pack abs! Will he be on this year’s Hot List? For more detail on this scandalous story and a list of Rose’s previous dates, turn to page 106...

“Bloody hell,” I groan, “Bloody Verity—“ 

“My darling!” 

“Speak of the devil,” I say grimly, as the all-pink wonder flounces into the room, like Madam Puddifoot’s was sold to her. She has candy-cotton pink hair, curled into a tight mess that I’m sure used to be frizzalicious, a neon pink dress and pale pink converse shoes on her feet. 

“Rose! The girl of the moment! How are you? Are you up to doing that interview yet?” she gushes, fluttering her long, pink eyelashes. 

“Yes, actually, I’ll do it tomorrow,” I declare. 

“Quidditch practise tomorrow,” Livi says in a scared voice. She knows this will not end well, and is probably building herself up to punch me. 

“After Quidditch,” I add. 

Verity looks amazed. Even more than usual, because she over-plucks her eyebrows and generally looks amazed. 

“Meet me at my office, then!” she says delightedly. Her office used to be a cupboard, but it was expanded to fit in a desk and a really old machine that somehow churns out thousands of copies of Hogwarts Rag that mysteriously land at the end of everyone’s bed, unless they annoy Verity. Then you are, most often, put in the ‘Twats and Twatettes’ section of the paper. I’ve been a Twatette for turning her hair blonde, turning her clothes different colours and not talking to her after a match. But right now, with gossip, I’m in her good books. 

As soon as she skips off, Livi punches me. “You idiot!” she yells, “Why? WHY? She wrote that crap about me!” 

“I feel I should take a stand against the crap she writes. Hot list indeed...” I reply, rubbing my arm. 


“Shuddup, Olivia,” Lucinda butts in, tossing back her long chestnut hair, “I need to borrow Rose, without you guys in my way.” 

Huh, this is a rare occasion. Lucinda only ‘borrows’ me when something needs doing fast. 

Caspar and Livi walk out, leaving me still on my bed and Lu towering over me like an evil Greek goddess. 

She’s all curves, and Head Girl to boot. She poses with sexy glasses, and was voted top of the Hot List for girls last year, just above the diamond girls and Scarlett the Slytherin. 

“Halloween ball,” she announces as the door clicks shut, losing all her sassiness as she collapses onto my bed, looking wild and distraught. 

“That’s nice,” I reply. 

“It would have been, but the band dropped out.” She peers up at me. 

“What? No! No, no, no!” 

“Please, Rose, I’m begging you!” she grovels, “Do it and I’ll destroy that photo!” 

I’m torn. Up on stage, where I technically want to be, but in front of Scorp where I don’t want to be, or that picture everywhere? 

“Alright,” I concede, and she hugs me like a possessed aunty, “But I call track listing. Get me a backing band, and we’re good to go. I need two rehearsals and posters shouting my anonymous name everywhere. Do it, and we’re good.” 

“Done and done,” she says breathlessly, “I’ll write your name on my boobs if you like.” 

“No thanks,” I laugh, “But a nice way to spread the word fast.” 

She doesn’t get the joke. 

Ah, so review for cookies or don't for unhappy me =/

Merry Christmas! (In case I don't post again soon.)


Chapter 11: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy
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Another incredible chapter image by Lady Malfoy!

 ^^ Scarlett ^^

Scorpius POV 

Walking in the common room at six o’clock, I rub my eyes, and then rake my hands through my hair. It’s far too early to be awake; but I can’t get her naked body out of my mind. She’s grown into a woman, and I’m forbidden to even give her the time of day. 

It’s Rose. Bloody lower class, inferior, mind numbing Rose. I can’t get her out of my head. 

“Fuck,” I mutter. I started casually swearing because she did – it’s common practise to find us throwing insults at each other now. I never mean mine. 

That’s a lie; I mean them in the worst way. I want her to cry so I can apologise and tell her I never mean it. 

Which is worse than not meaning them, by far. If I didn’t mean them, at least I’d have some redemption. 

But no. I want Rose, I’ve wanted her since we were first friends, and I can never have her. Malfoy’s don’t do love. I’ll probably end up marrying some horse faced bitch just because she’s pure blooded. Like I give a shit. 

I think tradition is bollocks – I don’t want to have kids just so my Grandfather can do the proud ‘I was once a pure blood maniac death eater’ smirk. Dad would probably do the face too. Sorry, father. If I called him dad to his face, he’d probably implode. Dad is an affectionate word. Malfoy’s don’t do affection. 

“Alright, Malfoy?” Amanda Goyle calls to me. I nod in reply. She has to be the ugliest person in the year; it’s like someone took a fat boys body and planted boobs on it. 

There’s another thing, I don’t like being called Scorpius. Only Rose calls me Scorpius. 

Or Scorp. 

I miss the days when she used to call me Scorp. 

Before I let it slip to my dad and pissed it all up, I used to call her Flower. Sometimes I hear Olivia call her that, and my chest tightens. It’s not a bad thing, sometimes I enjoy the feeling. Mainly it corresponds with a lack of concentration, as I try to hear her say compliments and pretend I’m nearer to her. 

This all sounds like complete toss, but the sad fact is it’s true. I’m more of a loser than I swear she is. My own girlfriend notices when she’s around. She’s fully aware of my situation; namely, every time she sees Rose she says something along the lines of ‘Here comes your love hater’ or ‘Breathe, shit face’. 

I do love Scarlett, just not as much as Rose. She’s just more of a friend. In fact, it’s a sham. I pretend to go out with her, when I’m constantly pining like a bloody puppy after Rose. The same Rose who recently acquired a boyfriend, without my help. I wanted her to go out with Marius for entirely selfish purposes, I wanted her near me. And Marius follows me because he’s useless, meaning Rose would be following me too. I’d love it more than my sick mind can bear. 

I meant to make her naked. I thought she might steal my clothes, but instead I ended up with a second arse on my back, and once I got that off I looked at her and was suddenly a mouse. In a jam jar. 

“Malfoy! Oi, mouse face!” 

I turn to see Scarlett waving the Hogwarts Rag like a mad woman, emerging from the girl’s dorm in a dressing gown, a tank top and my boxers. For all her sexiness, I still don’t love her. I really am screwed. 

“Have you seen this?” She asks breathlessly, shoving the paper in my face. 

“No,” I reply, taking it from her. “I’m on the 'Twats list' because I told her there’s no chance in fuck she’ll ever get me in her broom cupboard.” 

The front picture is of Rose and a boy from my lessons, blond one that was going to sit by her in Potions before I demanded to be moved. I wanted to be moved next to her, of course. If I’m not allowed to be civil with her I can at least inhale her scent. She smells like fruit and honey, and occasionally there’s a touch of vanilla. Not that I would know. 

Rose has a boyfriend. 

She has a boyfriend. Officially. 

“Fuck!” I exclaim. 

“Yeah,” Scarlett agrees, “It gets worse. Apparently, according to Verity, all her boyfriends have been blonde and she has an unhealthy obsession with an unnamed boy who hates her.” 

“That’s a lie,” I say sharply, but I’m not quite sure what part I’m disagreeing with. 

Scarlett raises an eyebrow. “Now might be the time to stop calling her a bitch and start just smiling and nodding. You have to work with her in Care Of Magical Creatures, you know.” 


“No, good! You can stop being daddy’s traditional arse wipe and start being a nice guy!” 

I glare at her. She tries to yank the newspaper out of my hands, but I’m gripping it so strongly she gives up and picks up a pillow, whacking me over the head with it. 

When she’s done attacking me, she throws the pillow at my head and marches off, presumably to plot ways she can blackmail me into disobeying my family. 

“Brilliant,” I hiss, looking back down at the picture of Rose and her new dunce, who are now snogging on the edge of the outline. The caption reads ‘An artist’s impression of their days together’. 

I hope to Potter I never catch them doing that. 

“Halloween Ball!” I overhear Caspar shriek, “Fucking Halloween Ball! With ‘mystery guest’!” 

“Calm down, Cas,” Rose responds, “It’s just a dance.” 

I’m eavesdropping again. We’re in Charms, and I have to spend all of next lesson with Rose, Olivia and Caspar, so I should be listening to Scarlett bribing me. 

“—please, Hyperion,” she hisses, “Stop gazing at her arse and pretending you’re not listening in, and pay attention to me!” 

“Don’t use my stupid middle name,” I reply from the corner of my mouth, “It’s a shit name and you know it.” 

“Finally, a response!—“ 

She continues to rant, but I drown her out, searching for Rose’s voice again. 

“...calm down, Cas, Livi will help you spend stupid amounts of money so you look prettier than is humanly possible,” she was saying, “And as for the guest, I know who it is. Take that, you lazy bitches!” 

“How the hell do you know that?” Olivia asks, “I bet James told you. He’ll tell me, right?” 

“Nope, I know because—“ 

“Girls, are you working? Show me your pineapple’s wings!” Professor Tonty interrupts.
All three of the ‘diamond girls’ ace the spell. Old Tonty picks on them because they talk over his lectures, but they’ve never slipped up. One day, they’ll be having a shit day and will slip up. I’m sure. 

My own pineapple is hovering an inch above my desk on thin, delicate wings. 

“Very beautiful,” Tonty remarks as it falls back to earth with a soft splat, “But useless. Try again, Mr Malfoy.” 

I look forwards grumpily again to see the three friend’s fruit flying around their heads, laughing hysterically. That’s the pineapples, not the girls. The pineapples are laughing hysterically. 

It’s not fair. I sound like a fucking kid, but it isn’t, okay? She gets off fine, while I get Death Eater heritage, my father breathing down my neck and apparently I’m going to end up with some pretty shit magic skills as well. 

“I could tutor you, if you like...” Scarlett offers, bonking me on the head with her pineapple. 

“Great, thanks,” I say gratefully, turning to face her. She has a funny look in her eye that I don’t like. 

“If you agree to be civil to Rose,” she concludes. 

I put my arms on the table and let my head fall onto them, admitting defeat. This won’t work, and my bloody dad will turn up at school again. Except this time he’ll be here kill me for talking to a ‘blood traitor’. Sometimes, I wish he wasn’t my dad. When Grandfather’s not peering over his shoulder he’s okay, though. 

“Fine,” I concede, “I’ll try.” 

“Not good enough!” 

“I will.” 

“Will what, Hyperion?” 

“I will promise to hex you if you keep using my middle name.” 

“Malfoy, I’m warning you...” 

“Fine. I promise to try my hardest to be civil to Weasley, in return for tutoring.” 


I sit up, rubbing my face tiredly, to see her looking smug. 

“What now?” I ask, dropping my head down and scribbling down some more notes I‘m sure will be useless. 

“You didn’t say tutoring with me. Therefore, I can simply fix you a Charms tutor of my own design.” 

“Fuck off.” 

“Now, now, no needs for language like that,” she says sweetly, “Look up to see your tutor.” 

I look up to see her walking towards me, smiling. Everything seems to fall into slow motion; her hair ripples lightly behind her, as if dancing behind her back, her smile curls the left side of her mouth up, making her eyes sparkle. 

“Scarlett, you called,” she says, arriving at our desk and showing a paper memo with the words ‘Help me, hot stuff’ written in Scarlett’s impeccable hand. 

“Yes, I did. I have a friend who seems to be failing Charms, and since Caspar’s fully booked I figured you were next on the list...” Scarlett says smoothly, trailing off nicely. 

Rose raises an eyebrow. “Oh? You’re right, I do have free Tuesdays right now, but since I’m in high demand I may have to check who it is first...” 

They were playing a very sneaky game, here. 

They were both trying to test the other, to see who would crack first. 

All for me. 

The flattery killed me. 

“Alright, Rose, you got me. It’s not your average client—“ 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

“—Nothing! Please, just take them?” 

“No way.” 

Now they were doing that weird staring thing. 

Finally, Scarlett sighs. “Fine. It’s Scorpius.” 

Rose’s eyes dart to me briefly, assessing the splat of pineapple on my desk. 


She turns and walks away, with Scarlett gaping after her. 

“Was it worth all the bloody dodging?” I ask. 

“Shut it, you. You got a date! Aw, my little Hyp is growing up!” 

I scowl at her. She pinches my cheek and beams. 

“Stop that,” I say thickly, with my cheek stretched halfway to her face. 

“Sure, sure.” 

“OH MY GOD YOU AND WHO NOW?!” Livi erupts from in front. 

“Shut up!” Caspar shrieks, “No way! Are you mad?” 

“Guys, shut the fuck up,” Rose says lazily, silencing Livi, who is now making a very high pitched squeak. Or was. 

Caspar begins to hiss in such a low voice I couldn’t hear, but Rose doesn’t seem to mind so I assume it’s fine. 

“Girls!” Professor yells, “You have NEWTs this year! You need to start taking this lesson seriously!” 

Livi tries to say something, but finds she can’t speak. Instead, she waves her arms around madly, mouthing words. I smile to myself; she hasn’t changed much. 

“Mr Malfoy, if you find this funny then I suggest you wait outside!” he snaps. 

“Sorry sir,” I drone. 

Scarlett shoots me a look. “Please never use that stupid voice again.” 

“Well, I think it’s a great voice,” I defend, “And it’s excellent at infuriating teachers, so it works for me.” 

“But it’s irritating.” 


Scarlett sighs, giving up the fight as Rose drifts over, followed by a silent Livi, who’s still waving her arms around and mouthing words I don’t understand. Caspar is glaring after them. 

“Scorpius,” Rose says, nodding to me as she conjures up a chair and sits down. Livi takes the simple route and merely steals a chair from a nearby table. 

“Rose,” I nod in reply. 

“So, you’re failing Charms,” she comments, turning to face her friend “For Merlin’s sake Livi, just use a bloody non-verbal spell!” 

Livi seems to consider this, then pulls out her wand and is suddenly talking. 

“Dog what-sit Rose why the hell did you do that? I didn’t deserve that, I was just shocked! No fair! Anyway, my opinion should go because I got Sweet Luke and he’s team captain and you have Quidditch practise tonight, your first I might add, so—“ 

“What do you want to learn most?” Rose interrupts, her eyes back on me. 

How to turn back time. 

“Stuff we can do in lessons, I mean,” she continues, and for a moment I wondered if I’d spoken aloud. I hadn’t. 

“Well,” I say slowly, “I’m—“ 

“He’s failing his lessons, Rose, teach him everything and anything,” Scarlett orders, putting her feet up on my chair. 

“Thank you!” I say indignantly, pushing her feet back off, “But I’m not that bad!” 

“Alright,” Rose challenges, “Make the pineapple fly, Scorpius.” 

My heart makes an attempt to imitate an electric pulse, and I uneasily pick up my wand, conscious of her eyes on me. 

Fugare,” I say slowly, twisting my wand in a circle in the vague direction of the fruit. It sprouts another set of over decorated, feeble wings, and flaps a couple of times to get into the air then plops back to earth. I scowl at it miserably. 

“Alright,” Rose says in a sceptical voice, “Tuesday in the library, Malfoy. Be there or die.” 

“Charmed, I’m sure,” I reply. Scarlett kicks me, hard. “I mean, thanks.” 

“You’re welcome. Nice kick, Scar.” 

She stands up and leaves, her plain wooden chair vanishing behind her. Livi salutes us and follows her, back to an irate Caspar. 

“You must be--“she starts, but is cut off. 

“Very generous,” Rose says, shooting her an evil look, “And possibly insane.” 

A/N Scorpius POV? Like it or think I've gone mad?

More on it's way!


Chapter 12: Quidditch, Famosa and Show Offs
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

By Lady Malfoy (who I seriously love) at The Dark Arts

Problem 20: Quidditch practise tonight, and then that interview with Verity. 

“Well, it’s your own stupid fault for agreeing to it,” Livi says, shooting me a smart arse look. 

“Shush, you,” I grumble, stabbing my wand at my trousers, attempting to change their colour. 

“Rose, are you working?” Professor Chang asks. 

“Yeah, but it’s difficult!” I reply. 

Technically, I should be changing my desk into a pony, but where’s the fun in that? 

“No ‘buts’ Rose! Show me what you can do!” 

I consider standing up and changing my trousers green, but instead flick my wand at the desk, muttering: “Equint.” 

My desk sprouts a tail and a pony’s head, and the head turns to look at me before turning back into a desk at a flick of Chang’s wand. 

“Work harder, Weasley,” she commands, then stalks off to find someone else to torture. 

“Ah, Rose, she’s just miserable because her boyfriend ran away again,” Cas comments. 

“Really?” I ask, “What’s-his-face ran off again?” 

“If you mean Davies, he’s gone for good,” Lucinda pops up by me to comment, “Still on with the—“ 

I cut her off with a hand over her mouth. 

“Yes, I’m still in for the,” I say tersely, “But those two aren’t!” 

Lu widened her eyes so she looked like Bambi. Seriously, her eyelashes are about half an inch long – naturally. 

I let go of her face. 

“You... You’re surprising them?” she says breathlessly, sounding genuinely excited, “Oh my God Rose I love it!” 

“What the hey are you talking about?” Livi chirps. 

“Yeah, you’re up to something,” Cas says suspiciously, “What are you doing?” 

“Nothing!” I say quickly, “Nothing.” 


“So, how’re you?” I ask Lu, changing the subject. 

“Well, now you come to mention it, I feel like shit,” Lucinda confesses, “I’m in the same problem ol’ Chang is: Tyler ran off with a Spanish dancer over the summer.” 

My mouth fell open. Never pretty, I know. 

“He left you? You?” Livi gasps, “Oh, very funny. But seriously, what?” 

“No, it happened,” Lu confirms grimly, “And so there is no more romance. I’m out to on Famosa’s rule: Seduce, shag and scarper. The three S’s of success.” 

Darling Famosa is a columnist for Witch Weekly – which coincidently no longer does recipes, but sex tips. Famosa is so successful being anonymous she’s offered two hundred Galleons to whoever finds her. 

“You’re gonna get burned,” Livi says in a Southern accent, “Burned like a fire stick!” 

Caspar shoots her a look. “Shut it, Olivia.” 

“But it’s true!” Livi insists, reverting to her normal voice, “Someone is going to take advantage and she’ll be a prostitute before you know it!” 

“Oh, thanks!” Lu huffs. 

Evangeline, Lu’s Ravenclaw best friend, joins us. “Has she told you her strategy?” 

“Yeah,” I deadpan, “And she’ll be on the list of idiots if she’s not careful.” 

“Does no-one think I’m doing a reasonable thing here?” Lu explodes. 

“Sort of,” I suggest, “But perhaps a better motto would be good.” 

“Like what?” 

“What about,” I pause, playing with my hair, “I got nothing. Anyone else?” 

“Nope,” Livi chimes in, “But I bet you could write a book about it.” 

“Got to think business,” Evangeline agrees, “I bet we could get the Lovegood’s to publish it.” 

“Maybe we could—“ 

“Girls! Less gossip and more work!” Professor Chang shouts, neatly stopping Lu in her monologue. 

Evangeline sighs and wanders back to her desk, flicking her wand at random people to see what happens. Lucinda follows her, smiling charmingly. 

“Bloody teachers,” I sulk, “Why are they even here?” 

“Because it’s a school, stupid,” Cas throws back at me, turning our desk into a pony smoothly. 

“Why can’t I do that,” I moan, and Livi pats my arm sympathetically. 

“You spend too much time playing guitar to practise.” 

“We only learnt the spell today!” 

“Correction: you only learnt it today. I learnt it ages ago.” 

I glare at her. “And you didn’t think of teaching me this spell? What sort of—“ 

“Scorp twelve o’clock!” Livi interrupts, “Look intelligent.” 

I snap my head round, to find that Scorpius is standing in the door of the classroom. 

“What do you think that thing might be doing here?” Cas says in a disapproving tone of voice. 

“Like I care,” I reply, drinking in his appearance: short, messy hair, the palest blonde you could imagine without being an albino, the icy blue-grey eyes with those oh-so-beautiful lashes... 

“Liar,” Livi accuses. I shrug. 

The classroom is now silent, everyone staring at the intruder. He leans against the door, folding his arms and surveying us. 


Bad Rose!

“Could I have Lucinda Melrose and Rose Weasley, please professor?” he says smoothly. 

Why yes, he can. TAKE ME. 

“Of course, Scorpius,” Prof Chang accepts, turning back to Evangeline. 

Damn it, why isn’t she that nice to me? 

I stand up and grab my bags, glancing at Lu, who looks completely unruffled, then at Livi and Caspar, who are both raising their eyebrows at me. 

“Oh, shut it,” I mumble, and leave them. 

Scorp waits by the door as Lu stumbles over Caspar’s perfectly placed foot, giving me an extra moment to soak in his image. 

“Shall we go, then?” Lu says impatiently, obviously over the moon about something. 

“To what?” I ask. This is all really confusing. 

“Oh, nothing!” Lu trills, “Excited?” 

“I can barely contain my enthusiasm,” Scorp drawls. 

This is obviously something lame. 

“Well, Rose, it’s about the Halloween ball,” Lu announces, shooting Scorp a glare. 

My mind goes blank. 

Oh, fucketty fuck. Scorp can’t know I’m singing! No no no! 

“I have a list,” I say quietly. 

“Good. We have a theme!” Lu chirps. 

“What is it?” I ask bravely, imagining the usual masks and ghosts plonk. 


I stop dead, by the painting of St Barny. 


Scorp turns slowly on his heel, and Lu looks worriedly at me. 

“You heard her, Weasley,” he says slowly, “You’re not stupid as well, are you?” 

“Oh, piss off. As in, Muggle music as well?” I demand. Lu shifts uncomfortably. 

“Yes?” she says timidly. 

I glare at her. “I wrote an entire set list of magical music. And now I’m going to have to write an entire new list and learn the words.” 

“So?” Scorp says rudely. 

“Oh, will you shut up?” I lash out, “You’ve never had to learn forty effing songs, have you?” 

“Oh, and you have?” 

“Children!” Oh crap, it’s Professor Bell, stepping out of the nearest classroom. “You were supposed to be in the meeting five minutes ago! Thank you, Mr Malfoy, you may go.” 

He scowls at her for a moment, before turning to me. “What are you doing with these songs, then?” 

I pause for a second, before answering; “Guitar.” 

Not technically a lie. 

I walk into the crowded classroom where the meeting is taking place, taking a seat by Lu and the Head boy, Damien Marling. He grins at me, shaking back his long dreads into a loose pony tail. This year he’s gone back to his roots – he likes to claim he’s descended from Jamaican shamans. 

“Ah, Rose! Our musician! We have you a band – Fergus Thomas volunteered to play bass guitar, Daniel Mayfield offered to play drums and we have Eldora Hincks on piano. Sound good?” Professor MacMillan announces pompously. 

“Sure, sound great,” I say in a defeated tone, mentally planning a new set list of Muggle songs I know. 

“I have bartenders,” A fifth year prefect says, “The best, flying in from Rio.” 

Oh, show off, why don’t you. 

“I’ve got food!” announces another, a red head with a turned up nose, “From the most perfect bistro in London.” 

“Well, I got decor, from three of the best fashion houses,” another champions. 

“Okay,” I announce to the prefects, Lu, Damien and Professor Macmillan, “I’m going to leave this pissing contest, but when you can, tell my band to get their arses to me for a rehearsal. Thanks.” 

And just like that, I walked out. 

Not back to my Transfiguration lesson, but straight down to Care Of Magical Creatures, concentrating on making a mental list of songs we could play. 

What about... no... What’s that one? Cold monkeys? Arctic Monkeys! Something by them. What about...? 

I had been concentrating so hard, I didn’t notice that I was by Hagrid’s hut already, the bell just beginning to ring. It startled me, as did Grawp’s sudden thump on the ground. 

“’Easley!” he yells, “’Easley come talk me!” 

“Oh, hello Grawp!” I shout back, “How you?” 

“Me good!” he bellows, “How you, ‘Easley?” 

“Me good too,” I say normally, knowing he can hear me still. “What you do recent?” 

“Done do Hagger works,” he says back gravelly, at an almost normal level of sound, “Done clean up lake, an’ done feed Thestral.” 

“Good for you,” I mumble, wishing my life was as simple as Grawp’s. 

“Weasley!” I turn to see Scorp walking down the path towards me, “What on earth are you doing?” 


“Oh? To that thing?” 

I gape at him. What a rude thing to say, that arsehole! 

“Grawp is a person too! Tell him, Grawp!” 

“Me person too!” he bellows. Scorp, to his eternal cowardice, looks fine. 

“Yeah, but you don’t know English!” Scorp bellows back. 

Grawp begins to raise himself to his full height, standing up, but Hagrid opens the door to his hut. 

“Don’ bother, Grawpy!” he yells, “He’s not worth it!” 

I have to agree. For all his good looks, he’s not very nice. 

“Rose!” I turn again to see Livi and Caspar, waving like nutcases. Livi throws her bag into the air and levitates it, running freely and headlong into me, knocking me onto the grass. 

“Rose!” she cries, “I saw Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuke Rose! Luuuuuuuuuuuuke! And he smiled! SMILED! Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke SMILED!” 

“Good for you, Livi,” I say in a muffled voice -- my mouth is full of her hair. 

“Yeah, she pretty much died,” Cas says, smiling. For all her false high-and-mightiness, she loves seeing us happy, because it makes her happy. 

“Wonderful! A dead friend! Just brilliant!” I babble, slightly overwhelmed by Livi. 

Livi herself stands up and brushes off her clothes, but I stay down on the grass, limbs splayed all over the place. It’s quite comfortable. 

“You look like a crime scene,” she remarks, floating her bag over to her again. 

“Hmmn,” I reply wisely. 

“We’re working with Bella and the mouse,” Cas remind me, rolling my bag around with her foot. 

“Oh good,” I say vaguely, staring up at the sky. It’s blue, with clouds rolling in from the north tower, great frothy things with foamy peaks. 

“A’righ’, Rose?” Hagrid yells, “Ge’ up, your Kelpie’s wai’in’!” 

“Yeah, sure,” I mumble, grudgingly rolling over and pushing myself up on the balls of my feet. 

Bella strides bravely out of her pen, takes one look at Scorpius and stops. Her eyes turn black. She paws the ground, and lowers her head. 

Scorp hasn’t noticed this, his back being turned and he’s busy concentrating on something one of his Slytherin pals is saying – the black one, the one who I forget but who always seems to be there. 

“Uh-oh...” I say slowly, watching Bella take a few steps, aligning herself with him. 

She charges spectacularly, stampeding on her own towards poor Scorp. 

“Scorp, run!” I scream, and he turns just in time to start legging it away, running towards us. 

“Help!” he yells, his eyes full of fear. Livi is doubled over laughing, and Caspar is pretending to have a coughing fit to cover up her counterpart. 

As Scorp nears us, followed closely by Bella, who is bellowing and snorting like mad, I ready myself. If I do this wrong, I could end up with a gored Scorp. However nasty he is, I don’t want to ruin his face. 

Scorp legs it past me, emitting a strange, high-pitched noise, and as Bella passes I grab hold of her mane, swinging myself over her body and mounting smoothly, remembering the horse riding lessons mum thought would be fun for us. 

After dad rode into a low hanging branch, we never did go again. 

Tugging gently at her mane, I steer her back to Cas and Livi, watching Scorp stop running and fall over dramatically, tumbling over a tree root. I would have laughed, but Bella might’ve spooked. 

I dismount clumsily, and take a bow. 

“Bravo!” cheers Liz, and I laugh. 

“All in a day’s work!” 

“Alright, we have to make her take medicine,” Caspar announces, glancing at her now open huge textbook. 

“What about teaching her Scorp isn’t so bad?” I suggest, “I know we only have an hour, but I can’t stop her every time.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Cas dismisses, “If we must.” 

Scorp walks cautiously back to us, his eyes on Bella. She stares back, her eyes slowly turning back to red. 

I could swear she growls. 

“It’s okay,” I tell them both, “They won’t hurt you.” 

“Sure, sure,” Scorp says slowly, “It’s just an animal, right?” 

“Wrong!” I say quickly, and Caspar grabs at Bella before she gets angry, distracting her with a toy, throwing it far away, making her gallop away to fetch it. 

“Is it a dog, a horse or a bull?” Scorp says dryly. 

“Suck it up, princess,” I reply, “And be nice, because I won’t stop her next time.” 


“For what?” I can’t remember when I last had a conversation this long with him. 

“For stopping her. Thanks.” 

“Oh. That’s okay, I guess.” I smile a little at him, and he smiles back. Livi, who has been watching this exchange with eager eyes, interrupts the moment. 

“Yay, look at Bella!” she yells happily. 

Bella is tearing the toy apart savagely, small pieces flying everywhere. 

“It’s just like being in our room,” she says dreamily. 

School is out: good. 

Quidditch practise: fine. 

Slytherin team watching: NO NO NO! 

“Ah, crap.” 

That’s all Sweet Luke, whom Livi is gazing at like he’s chocolate in a desert, has to say. 

I, on the other hand, am just staring. 


Oh yes, that’s me, queen of intellect. 


“Why me?” I moan, “Why, why, why? Couldn’t I have spied on them? Now I’ll fall off, or die, or something—“ 

“Shut it, Flower,” Livi orders, “Pick up your broom and get your arse out there.” 


“What?” Livi looks at me like I’m mad. Caspar emerges from the changing room, looking a little dazed. 

“Harry... topless. Sneaked in...” she says dreamily. 

I don’t bother pulling a face. I’ve seen that guy topless – well worth it. 

“There’s Slytherins out there,” Livi announces, “Let’s go!” 

“Oh, alright,” Caspar concedes. 

Why is no one bothered by this? 

This is serious! Serious! I have enough trouble not embarrassing myself on a normal day – with my own team mates! This is going to be— 

“Livi, get off! I’m having an internal monologue!” I yell as she begins to drag me out onto the pitch. 

“Have it and fly!” she yells back. We really are a noisy bunch. 

A noisy bunch of two. 


Sweet Luke is waiting on the pitch. He looks nervous. First training session, and the opposition are out in force. 

Okay, so they’re very peaceful. Scarlet is keeping them quiet (ish) while we train, because she’s our friend. 

And she knows I will punch Scorp, easily. 

Or hex him. 

Or she’s just nice. 

We start flying, doing laps, me and Albus fighting to do the most complicated rolls and loops. 

When I safely execute a sloth-grip-half-hold roll, he gives up and flies down to let loose the bludgers. 

Him and Livi are beaters. Caspar, as was expected, is keeper. Me, Sweet Luke and a fourth year called Venus are chasers. 

And the seeker... Hasn’t arrived. 

“Who’s seeker?” I call, but no one answers. “Hey! Who’s the seeker?” 

“I am!” calls a quiet voice. I look down to see Lily waving. She throws her legs over her broom and zooms up to meet me. “Take that, Rose! I’m seeker!” 

“Well done, chicky!” I congratulate, pulling her in for a hug. 

“Uh huh, I’m going to fall,” she says uncertainly, but still wraps an arm around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze. 

“Brilliant!” I cry, releasing her and shifting backwards. 

“Play ball!” Al calls, releasing the bludgers and snitch before lobbing the Quaffle into the air. 

I swoop down to catch it, saving it and flying towards Caspar, who hovers by the hoops, glaring at me and Sweet Luke, who I pass the ball to without thinking, running on autopilot. 

He dodges a bludger and chucks it to Venus, who catches smoothly and lobs it at Cas. It flies past her, whistling through the air. 

“Score!” I yell, punching my fist into the air. 

Which turns out to be a very bad plan. 

A bludger, hit away from Lily by Livi, smashes right into my hand. I scream and my broom starts to plummet as I stare at my crumpled mess of a hand. It’s bleeding. I clamp my spare hand around it, trying my hardest not to cry. 

“Fuck!” roars Al, diving towards my rapidly descending broom. 

“Shit!” I scream, realising I am falling, and my good hand is broken. I always steer with this hand. And if I let go of my smashed bones, I’m scared of what might happen. “Help!” 

There comes a cry from the Slytherin team, and someone vaults the edge of the stands and starts to run towards me. I fling myself off my doomed broom at a drop of roughly ten metres, hoping I land on my feet. 

As the ground rushes up to meet me, I hear Lily scream. 

And then strong, capable arms catch me. And I think I die of relief. 

It’s Scorp. He looks thunderstruck. 

He smells nice. 

“Thanks?” I say bravely, still gripping my bad hand. 

No, he does smell really, really nice. 

“No problem,” he replies civilly. 


He starts to carry me off, presumably to the hospital wing, but unfortunately Al intervenes. 

“Put her the FUCK down!” he roars, “Or else!” 

“Or else what?” Scorpius says calmly, “She’ll have a crippled hand for the rest of her life?” 

“Just don’t touch her,” Al grinds out. 

Seems house union failed. 

So sweet... caught me... smells nice... 

“I wouldn’t bother,” Scorp sneered, placing me on the ground, on my feet.
I took a shaky step. 

“Help,” I croaked. 

“Now look what you’ve done!” Al swore. 

“I did nothing! It was her own incompetence!” 

I almost protested – in fact, I tried to shoot him a look. 

And failed. My eyes were welling up. 

“Listen, Potter, there’s no need,” he carries on, “I wouldn’t touch her if she was the—“ 

“Shut it!” Al yells. 


“Because I said so!” 

Idiot boys. 

“Oh, go play with your whore of a cousin,” Scorp drawls, and I properly give him a look.
“Fuck you, Scorpius!” I scream, “Fuck you and your stupid blood history, fuck you and your stupid values—“ I’m crying now. Tears are pouring down my face. Everything hurts. “—fuck your stupid moral code, and fuck your insistence that I’m a whore! Well here I am, being a whore, so fuck—“ 

And then the most amazing thing happens. Scorp leans in and places his lips on mine. 

And for a moment, my heart stops. My hand stops hurting. His lips are so soft and warm, and feel so good. 

And then I’m flying backwards, thrown by some strange force, and Scorp is yelling and someone is screaming and my lips feel so lonely. 

I hit something hard, hear a snap, and everything goes black. 

A/N: Oh. My. Merlin. 

Dramatic, much? 

Review: ten seconds. Love: forever.


Chapter 13: Aftermath
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Another one by Lady Malfoy at The Dark Arts. She's my deity.

Problem 21: Everything is dark. 

I open my eyes in the hospital wing. Livi and Caspar are leaning over me, and I can see the faint outline of my mother’s bushy hair waving about somewhere down near the matrons room. 

“What the fuck happened?” I groan. 

“Shh,” Livi whispers, “If you speak too loud, your mum will come back and I’m crap at keeping secrets.” 

“So it happened, then?” I ask dreamily, “I kissed Scorp?” 

“It was more like he assaulted you, but yeah,” Caspar agrees, “It was quite romantic.” 

“So why did I black out?” This is all really confusing. 

“Well, Al tried to stun Scorpius, to get him to let go, but hit you instead, you went flying and broke the rest of your arm as you went,” Livi rattles off. 

“Jesus Christ,” I swear, “Why? I was quite—“ 

“Shh!” Livi commands, “Scorp’s in here too.” 


“Him and Al started to fight. Al’s disappeared, he was in here, but I think he got scared of your mum telling his mum and he left,” Cas grins, “Coward. I doubt he wanted to be here when you found out, either.” 

“I’m going to kill him,” I lift my arm up to punch the pillow, and notice it’s covered in a thick cast. 

“They were shattered,” Livi explains, “So you have to wear this for a few days.” 

“On the plus side, you were only out a few hours,” Caspar tries, “Your mum’s coming.”
Indeed, with a soft shriek, my mum is powering towards me like some sort of bushy hurricane. 

“Rosie! You’re awake! I was so scared! Your hand looked so mangled, it’s so lucky Al caught you!” 

Oh, so that’s the story he’s putting around. 

“Actually, mum,” I say cheerily, realising Al is never going to hear the end of this, “Scorpius caught me. Al was the one who started a fight with Scorpius afterwards, which is why he’s here.” 

Livi is looking very shocked. She obviously expected me to stick to Al’s story. A nerve twitches in the corner of mum’s eye. 

“He. Did. What?” she says slowly, “Albus Severus Potter!” 

Al, who has obviously been hiding in Madam Cherie’s office, slinks out guiltily, knowing he’s screwed. 

“Yes?” he says quietly. 

“Explain,” mum says in her most terrifying voice. 

“Well... er...” Al starts, “He was hurting her—“ 

“Liar!” I yell, “He caught me when I was going to DIE!” 

“Rose, you wouldn’t have died,” he protests, “You would’ve been fine—“ 

“Ten metre drop!” I continue, “It’s a miracle he got there in time! Fat lot of good you are! Rubbish excuse for a cousin! Idiot! Loser!” 

Albus is visibly shrinking beneath my words. 

“I didn’t mean to,” he mumbles, and I turn my head away from him. 

Mum picks up where I left off, threatening to get Aunt Ginny involved. Scary thought.

Scorpius is lying in the bed next to mine, pretending to sleep. I know he’s pretending, his eyes are fluttering open and shut. 

This gives me perfect opportunity to take another piece of him into my heart. 

He has the palest pink lips. Al has obviously punched them, because a bruise is spreading across the left hand side, puffing them up like a balloon. Charming cousin of mine. 

I can almost feel them on my own lips now, soft and hard, comfortable and unrelenting. 

Caspar in conveniently sneaking out with an apologetic look, and Livi is doing the same. 

“Too loud,” she mimes, pointing at my mum, who is now red faced and roaring at Albus. 

I watch them go sadly, realising I have ages left of hearing mum shout, and then the inevitable ringing ears before Aunt Ginny turns up and starts yelling. 

“Psst,” I whisper to Scorp, “I know you’re awake.” 

“How?” he hisses back, lazily opening one eye. 

“Magic,” I reply. 

“I thought Madam Cherie had your wand so you didn’t escape again,” he says, pulling himself into a sitting position. 

“Well, that last time I didn’t need to be in here,” I huff, “She has no right!” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Surely you don’t think you’re above her?” 

“No. No, I’m very sure she has every right,” I say sadly. 

“Want to get out?” he whispers, and I almost miss it over a renewed bout of accusations and apologies. 

“Yeah,” I grin, and slide my feet onto the floor. 

Quietly, moving on the balls of our feet, we sneak to the door. 

I start moving towards the office, but Scorp grabs my blood stained top and hauls me out of the door. 

“I want my wand!” I hiss, “Go back!” 

“No chance,” he says coolly, shutting the door, “Go back in and you get caught.” 

He’s right, damnit. 

I look at my casted hand in a mix of wonder and disgust. 

“Thanks,” I whisper. 

“Oh no, thank you,” Scorp says, a slow smile creeping onto his face, lighting up his grey eyes, “If you hadn’t have told the truth, I’d have faced the wrath of your mother by now.” 

I can feel my mouth curling into one of those stupid half smiles that look ridiculous, but I can’t help it. I can’t stay cool with him grinning like that. 

“Shall we?” I ask politely, offering my good arm to him. He takes it, and we start walking away. 


“Ah, fuck,” I groan. Of course Matthew would have heard about this. 

Scorp drops my arm. “Well, see you around, Weasley,” he says, the smile falling from his face. He turns and walks away, leaving me to deal with my almost boyfriend. 

“Rose!” Matt cries again, taking my casted arm into his hands and staring at it in wonder, “I heard – are you okay?” 

“Peachy,” I reply quietly, watching the spot Scorp disappeared into. 

He takes my good hand and starts to walk me back to the tower, talking quickly about interviews and Quidditch. I nod and add vague words, but really I’m dreaming of Scorpius’ lips on mine. 

I would sell Matt for him. 

I think I should step up this plan: I’ll lead Matt on a little more. Yeah. 

Jamal Hiatus girl, you are such a bitch! 


So? SO? You’re playing with fire. You are gonna— 

“Rose, are you listening?” Matt says impatiently, “I said, would you like to come to Hogsmeade with me, officially?” 

“Yeah, I’d love to,” I reply calmly, feeling guilty. 

I won’t lie – on the inside, I feel sick. Pain is slowly regaining my arm again, I haven’t eaten in hours, and I’m miserable about tricking Matt into loving me. 

“Porcupine,” said boy announces to the fat lady, and he lets me through the door first. 

So he’s polite, too. 

Oh good. Another good thing about him. Why couldn’t I just hate him? No, Rose Weasley has to make everything difficult for herself. 

“ROSE!” shrieks Lily, diving at me, “ROSE ARE YOU OKAY?!” 

“Yeah, wonderful,” I say, rubbing my poor ears. Matt laces his fingers through mine and smiles apologetically. I take it no one told him about the kiss, then. 

He’s still adorable, of course. Lily has started to flap her hands about and yell to everyone else that I’m fine, while he just stands there and looks bemused, smiling at my weird family. 

Even James is in here, talking to Fred. What king of world is it that James is a teacher, anyway? It’s unnatural. He rebelled against teachers most of his life. 

I pull Matt away from my psychotic cousin towards the window seat. 

Why? I hear you asking. Why not an armchair by the fire? 

One reason: James. 

I fully intend to wipe Scorpius from my mind and concentrate on my ‘stable relationship’, and I know one sure-fire way of doing that: snogging. 

In my lifetime, I have spent more time snogging than is natural. Again, you can blame Scorp. 

Because there’s no other way of removing his voice from the back of my little mind. 

So I sit down at the window seat with Matt. 

The window seat is partially hidden from view by a floating notice board, so it’s basically where everyone goes to make out. This is why Matt knows exactly what I wanted. 

We kiss for over an hour. 

No, not without a breath, stupid. We would die then. 

When I finally walk back out of the window seat, James is gone. Matt kisses my hand and then runs up the stairs to the boy’s dorm, presumably to do homework. Or have a cold shower. Merlin knows I need one. 

“Happy?” Livi says from behind me. I spin around to see her in an armchair by the fire, with Sassy on her lap. 


“Better now?” 


It’s an unwritten rule that asking about snogging is for girl’s nights. So in the middle of the common room is unacceptable, even if it’s only a couple of people. I notice Caspar and Harry are missing, again. 

“Caspar went for another ‘walk’,” Livi says, crinkling her nose, “Probably to the Room Of Requirement so they can ‘talk’ all night.” 

I snicker at that. They’ve had increasingly more of these ‘talks’ since we discovered an anti-pregnancy spell. 

“What should I wear to Hogsmeade?” Livi asks, glancing around the room quickly to see if Sweet Luke is in here. He isn’t, as it is. There’s us, a few fourth years I vaguely know, and Evangeline. 

Ah, Evangeline. What used to be a spotty loser trailing in Lucinda’s imposing wake turns into a beauty queen. I reckon it’s the lips that did it. She has these full, pouting lips, and they don’t make her look like a fish because her wide brown eyes balance them out brilliantly. As much as I hate to say it, she’s also got one of those horrifyingly amazing elfin bodies. 

And we all thought she was a dweeb. 

“Rose! Are you listening?” Livi has a problem with my ability to zone out. 

“Yeah,” I answer thoughtfully, “Leggings. Definitely leggings. With something else.” 

“Fat lot of good you are,” Livi whines, “I was going to wear jeans!” 

“Then wear jeans!” 

“But now you’ve got your leggings imprinted in my head!” 

Does no-one think I have my own problems? 

Hello there. I'm back. Again. So... any thoughts?

Are you team Matt or Team Scorpius?

Team Sweet Luke, or Team James?

Does James have a chance? Actually, I could answer all of those myself, but I want to know what you think. =)

Chapter 14: What A Hit
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By Lady Malfoy. At The Dark Arts. Who I love.

Problem22: Detention tonight. Urgh. 

“Rose, I love you,” Scorpius confesses, and then he leans in slowly while the rest of the school applauds wildly. His lips meet mine in a moment of pure bliss, and then he takes my hand and we— 



Muggle Studies is a compulsory lesson taken by everyone in Seventh Year sometime on a Friday. For me, it’s first lesson, and I find myself tired, bored and hungry since I couldn’t be bothered to wake up for breakfast. 

And so, ignoring the procrastinating teacher at the front of the class, I dream up little scenes, trying to ignore Livi. Caspar’s buggered off with Harry, of course, because this is one of the lessons in which you can snog freely without the teacher noticing. 

If, perchance, Professor Tedious over there – he’s called that for a good reason, but he likes to be called Duncan instead – does notice, he flushes a very deep red and pretends he didn’t notice. 

“So Rose I was thinking—“ 

“I’m tired.” 

“—that maybe you could get over yourself and talk to me!” Livi says in that frustrated tone that tells me she’s been trying to talk to me. 

“Doesn’t Duncan look nice today?” I say absentmindedly, watching said person give up and flick his wand at the small television in the corner, which starts playing a documentary on how bread is made. 

“No,” Livi replies honestly, “And have you seen Matt today?” 


“He has a massive black eye.” 

Now that makes me sit up straighter. “Really? Why?” 

Livi looks proud that she’s got my attention. “Well, if you had been at breakfast—“ 

“I wasn’t.” 

“...anyway. You would have noticed that his right eye is pretty puffy and purple!” She sounds oddly delighted. 


“Purple. And a bit blue.” 

I decide to go back to sleep, ignoring Livi’s protests. 

Matt’s eye is much worse than I anticipated. When I see him, at break time in the courtyard, which is getting steadily colder as October approaches, he is dabbing something onto it. To say the least, it’s not pretty. 

“So who did it then?” I ask lightly as he takes my hand. 

“No-one,” he answers strangely, “Are you doing anything tonight?” 

“Yeah, detention for sneaking out with you.” And getting caught by Scorpius’ charming father. Ugh. 

Matt smiles, a little lopsided apology. “Sorry, babe.” 

“That’s okay,” I smile weakly back. I really, really hate detention, because I always get the same one. Every single time, ever since I was late in First Year, I’ve had to clean the dungeons. Gross. 

Livi bounces over, tailed by a bemused looking Sweet Luke. He really is pretty. Him and Livi are a truly sickeningly pretty couple. 

“Hi Rose!” she chirps, as if she didn’t see me all of two minutes ago, “Hi Matt!” 

“Hi, Livi,” Matt says smoothly while I proceed to melt against him like some kind of tired limpet. Honestly, it’s hard work standing up straight, and when your boyfriend has his arm around you, it’s so irresistible. 

“So Rose, I’ve just discovered the Quidditch timetable!” she exclaims loudly, “And we have practise while you are having detention!” 

“Oh goody,” I say flatly, feeling a little worse for wear. Sweet Luke began to kiss a trail down Livi’s jaw line. 

“It was a stupid thing to do, though,” Livi continues. 

Where is Caspar when she should be saving me? 

“It wasn’t Rose’s fault!” Matt protests. 

“Yes, but she could have handled it better. I mean—“ 

“Shut up, Livi.” Finally drawing myself up from Matt’s body, I stalk off moodily to History Of Magic. 

We might as well admit it’s a pointless lesson, but since mum wanted me to do it I felt I might as well. It’s rubbish, and I don’t like it much, but you can talk all lesson without fear of retribution. 

Although, that said, Livi is being annoying and Caspar doesn’t do History Of Magic. Bummer. 

Luckily enough, Scarlett is in my lesson. 

“Funny, I never noticed you here,” I comment, plonking my stuff down by the empty seat beside her. 

“Funny, I’ve been busy staring at Michelangelo’s butt,” she retorts, and I raise an eyebrow. 

“What about Scorpius?” I ask coolly. Scarlett rolls her eyes, still fixated on the Hufflepuff in front of us. 

“Me and him have the same thing you and Matt have,” she says plainly, getting out some lip-gloss as Professor Binns appears. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I pout, and Scarlett literally rams the lip-gloss into my face, squeezing a dot of pink onto my lips. I rub them together, tasting pineapple. 

“Quit thinking you’re so clever,” she rolls her eyes again, “You use him, I use him, he uses me, Matt is... I don’t know him well enough. But I know me, and I know you. You suck at commitment.” 

“Thank you, Doctor Phil!” I exclaim, “Am I really that see-through?” 

“Depends who you ask,” she ponders, “I guess I see through the people I know – that’s how I knew Scorpius just wanted a fuck – but others don’t as easily. Call it a talent, but I can read you like a book.” 

“What about other people?” I wonder. 

“Well, I know that Livi’s a little like you in the sense that she’s with the wrong person,” she pauses to smooth on bright red lipstick, “She just doesn’t know it yet.” 

“Oh? Who’s she supposed to be with then?” 

“I’ll tell you when you can handle it.” 

I roll my eyes and put my feet up on the desk. “I’m a big girl.” Pulling out my water bottle, I take a swig. 

“Yeah, yeah. So how are you going to deal with detention with Scorpius?” 

I pretty much choke. “You what now?” 

“You know, he got in trouble for punching your trophy boy.” She’s enjoying this, I can tell. 

“He PUNCHED my boyfriend?” 

“Come on, you find that big ol’ bruise a bit of a turn on, don’t you?” 

“Okay, so it does make him look kind of fierce—“ 


“But that’s not the point! He’s my boyfriend! Why did he get punched?” I tilted my chair back against the table behind me, where a surly looking Ravenclaw was sulking in that sort of I-have-dyed-my-hair-black-and-may-be-male-or-female way. 

“Well, I guess it’s because we were drunk—“ 

“Oh, okay then, that justifies it.” 

“—let me finish! And I saw a picture of you, and laughed hysterically, then Matt walked past and I told him he was being used, and that made him a little upset.” 

“That just told me that you should drink less. And where did you find a picture of me anyway?” 

“Oh, there’s one of your campaign posters from a few years back near the kitchens. Someone drew a moustache on it.” 

“Oh yeah! That was Livi.” 

“Well, anyway, Matt told me to fuck off, and so Scorpius, being the big, brave idiot that he is, attempted to punch him. Of course he missed entirely and managed to punch the wall the first time, so Matt started to walk away, but then Scorpius pulled him back. 
Understandably he didn’t like that much, and so he punched Scorpius in the gut, but unfortunately Scorpius was stupid enough then to swing up and hit Matt while Professor Bell looked on. My ears haven’t quite recovered, and now he’s in detention with you for being drunk.” 

“And assaulting Matt.” 

“Yeah, that too.” 

I sit back and ponder this. “Didn’t you get detention too?” 

Scarlett looks shocked. “Me? But I was merely a bystander, harmlessly trying to get my sweet boyfriend back to the dorms!” 

“So basically you lied?” 


Without warning, the sulky Ravenclaw pulls back their table and my chair falls over, taking me with it. Finding myself flat on my back, I glare up at the now noticeably male person, taking in his pierced lip and eyebrow. 

“What the hell was that for?” I ask in the annoyed tone that means I’m about to pop him one. 

“Felt like it,” The Boy says in a bored voice. I leap to my feet, my wand out. 

“Alright you—“ 

“Rose! Sit down!” Scarlett yells, and Professor Binns briefly turns his head our way before droning on again, “History Of Magic is no place for duels!” 

“He did that deliberately!” I insist, but Scarlett pulls me back into my seat. 

“Oh, grow up,” she grumbles, leaving me to sulk until the bells goes and I march off to Charms. 

Later that day, I loiter outside Professor MacMillan’s office. The gargoyles are staring at me. 

“Are you gonna go in?” One of them asks rudely, “Because we’re busy.” 

“I can see that!” I shoot back, “I only want to know who I’ve got detention with, that’s all.” 

“I can tell you that, Weaslet,” Scorpius drawls sexily, appearing out of nowhere. 

“Go ahead, Mouse,” I reply, cocking my head in interest. 

“Get a room!” The gargoyle heckles. 

“Fuck off, Stone face,” Scorp says to it, “We’re in Dungeon Five. Non-magical cleaning.” 

“Oh great,” I sulk, “Just perfect.” 

“Come on.” 

He leads me all the way down to the place where – oh shocker – some First years have plastered frog brains everywhere. Gross. 

Professor Arbour is waiting, looking nervous as ever. I swear, if he taught anyone apart from First years he might die of fright. 

“Yes, you, um, clean away!” he titters in his squeaky voice before running out of the room at breakneck speed. 

“Okay then...” I say slowly, conjuring up a broom. I start sweeping, deciding to ignore Scorpius. Yes, that’s a good idea. 

I slowly push a small mountain of splat away from me, attempting the must-not-puke route. 



“How are you?” 

I stare at Scorpius with barely contained shock. He looks very, very uncomfortable. 


“...How are you?” 

“No, what, as in, what the hell do you mean how are you?” 

“...Are you okay?” 

“Recently, Scorpius,” I begin, turning back to my job and suppressing bile, “You have insulted me, attempted to get me to date your loser boyfriend, and make all my clothes vanish in public. How are you?” 

“I’m okay, I guess. I mean, recently, you’ve insulted me, embarrassed me in public and transfigured me into a mouse, but that’s fine.” 

“Touché, Scorpius, touché.” 

I stand and stare at him for a moment. He holds out his hand. 


I take his hand and shake it once, holding onto it. 

“Deal.” I keep holding onto his soft palm for a moment, before conjuring up another broom. “You’d better get moving. Punching my boyfriend while drunk deserves some retribution, I think.” 

“Oh. So, you know about that?” 

“Yes, Scorpius, I do bloody well know!” I cry, glaring at him. 

“It wasn’t my fault!” he defends, “I was drunk.” 

“Oh, that’s fine then!” I consider this for a moment. “Nice hit, though. Very distinctive mark you left.” 

“You mean the massive black eye?” Scorpius grins, “Yeah, some force.” 

I laugh, and he joins in. It’s almost as if the massive rift between us never happened. 

“What happened?” I ask out loud. 

“Well, Scarlett and I got a bit drunk—“ 

“No,” I bite my lip, and continue, “When you decided you didn’t like me anymore.” 

There’s an extremely uncomfortable pause. 

“My dad is Draco Malfoy,” Scorpius starts slowly. I roll my eyes. 

“No shit, Sherlock!” 

“No, he’s Draco Malfoy! Pureblood son of Lucius Malfoy, the nutcase!” Scorp looks genuinely expressive, far from his usual facade. “They don’t like... you.” 


“Well, it’s true! I accidently let slip we were friends, and boom! All hell breaks loose in the Malfoy household,” he says bitterly, “Basically, I’m forbidden to... to talk to you.” 

“Haha!” I laugh, “You little rebel!” 

“It’s not funny!” Scorpius backhands, but his mouth curls into a smirk. 

Professor Arbour pokes his head around the door. The dungeon looks barely changed, given that we’ve basically talked for our detention. 

“Well, this looks, um, done, so, you could, um,” he stutters, and I shrug. 

“Thanks, Professor,” I say, and walk away, dropping my broom and pausing at the door, “Don’t forget, Scorp. Tutoring, library, six pm sharp.” 

I get no reply, so I walk away. Oh, this will be interesting. 

So the overwhelming amount of people who want Scorpius to get Rose outweighs Matt 100%. Suit yourselves, then! I quite like Matt myself.


Chapter 15: I'm Always Right
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Fabulous image by niika at The Dark Arts =)

Typing with wet nails, so forgive mistakes. I'm going out for the first time in agggges, so I painted my nails. Cool? Uh, no. Not me.

The next installment is here, darlings! See you at the bottom...

Problem 23: She’s found me. 

“Rose! Darling, we must talk!” Verity exclaims, completely ignoring the first year I’m tutoring. Yes, I came straight from my detention to the library. So? 

“Verity, I’m busy,” I say through clenched teeth, watching the boy, who’s funnily called Harry, try to make his feather fly by swishing and flicking. He’s failing miserably. No one can say I’m not a good tutor, though; he had a nasty case of acne when he first came to see me. 

“But Rose, darling, I think this boy is meant to leave in two minutes!” she says sickeningly. Trust her to learn my schedule, the nosey cow. 

“Yeah,” I sigh, defeated, “Okay, you can go early, Harry. Back here on the dot. You know the drill.” 

Harry sulks off, carrying his feather. Verity takes his place, taking out parchment and an acid green quill. 

Oh, Merlin. 

“Hi, Rose!” Verity says, her eyebrows raising a little higher into her shocked expression, “How are you today?” 

The quill is flicking away. 

Rose Weasley, the stunning daughter of Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley, undoubtedly two of the most talented sorcerers in history, sits across from me. Having recently returned from an hour tutoring younger, less experienced students, she looks tousled and ready for a good night’s sleep. 
“Hello, Verity,” I sigh, trying not to look too disheartened. 

“Hello,” she says delicately, smiling slightly— 

I am very much not smiling. 

“So Rose, tell me all about Matthew!” 

Cutting straight to the chase then. 

Knowing everything I say will be twisted into a headline, I reluctantly start to speak. 

“Well, Matt is a friend of mine I’ve known for a while now—“ 

“We’ve known each other ages, it was inevitable!” 

“—and I thought he was pretty cute. So I asked him out.” 

“So it’s true you got caught on a romantic escape to Hogsmeade, Rose?” 

“Yes, Verity,” I sigh. 

I would be fine telling no-one anything. Essentially, all I want is to talk to Scorpius all day long. I don’t care how he treats me. That’s what’s so sad about this situation: he can treat me like shit and I’ll still love him. 

...Rose sighs, obviously reminiscing about the day. 

“Is it true that Matthew – or Matt, as he likes to be called – is a good kisser?” 

Oh, God. This will be all over the school. 

“Yes, but—“ 

“But? Matthew Grimsby has his flaws!” Verity announces, and a headline appears on the paper. 

“No, he—“ 

“Matthew is the perfect boyfriend!” she says exuberantly, and the headline changes. 


“Thank you, Rose, that’ll be all!” Verity grins, exposing all her little white teeth. One of them is capped in pink. 

She grabs her ‘article’ and the quill, and pretty much sprints out of the library. I cross my arms on the desk and throw my head down on them, defeated. 

“Transfiguration homework?” Caspar says, appearing by my elbow and taking the seat Verity vacated just moments ago as I open a heavy textbook. 

“Verity,” I mumble. Caspar pats my arm sympathetically. 

“I forget, you left the lesson. No essay for you, then.” 

So there is an upturn to the huge set list I have now crafted. I get to miss one measly essay. 



I raise my head and look her in the eye. “Do you think I’m a twat?” 

She shrugs, as if this is a regular subject. “Depends. When you’re good, you’re good. When you’re a twat, I think that perhaps a silencer would be a good idea.” She cracks a smile. 

“Thanks,” I reply, smiling back. She, Caspar’s, good. She can do anything she sets her mind to, without doing something stupid in the process. Whereas I, in the process of making Scorpius fall in love with me, have done every stupid thing in the book. 

“Rose?” Caspar asks, “What are you going to do about Matt?” 

“I don’t know,” I say, my shoulders slumping. “But it won’t be pretty.” 

“It never is,” she remarks, referring to my previous ‘stable relationships’. 

There was Mark, the sensible guy. I broke up with him after he told me I had a ludicrous obsession with Scorp. 

There was Hot Nathan, who has and always will be hot. We’re still friends, although he owes me a massive favour because I got him together with Cassie Luan. I’ll call it in, someday. 

Harvey, who graduated when I was in fifth year. Dave, who left school to go to Spain with his mum. Aaron, who still has a pair of my pants somewhere. Although, considering he graduated last year, I might never get them back. They were good pants, too. He’s got my virginity, as well. 

“Yeah, well. I know what I want, and they’re not it.” 

Cas raises a perfect eyebrow. “Oh? What if—“ 

“I’m not having this conversation!” I interrupt, “No, I will not be persuaded!” 

She falls silent. Harry comes stalking through the room, and kisses Cas on the cheek. 

“Hi,” Caspar says quietly. 

Caspar and Harry are sickening. Why? Because they’ve been together for four whole years, and they never get bored of each other. 

Right now, they’re gazing into each other’s eyes, a smile on their lips. It’s almost as if they’re one person, cut in half. I bet they’d be a good whole person. Oh, no, wait; they are a bloody good person. Sickeningly good. 

Slamming my book shut, I grab my bag and stalk off. 

There are several things I can do now:
1. Get it over with and dump Matt. How long? A week or so? Rose Weasley, you whore.
2. Hide.
3. Make Livi go flying.
4. Be miserable, because I am. 

I settle for number three, trekking to the common room slowly. It’s hazardous, the road lined with weird little first years and the occasional ghost, but I can struggle through it because I’m a fucking brave Gryffindor. Obviously not brave enough to kiss the boy I want and dump the boy I don’t, but hey. I’m clearly an idiot. 

“Rose!” Someone calls. I turn around to see Roxanne tearing towards me. She does not look good. 

“Holy shit what happened to you?” I gasp, taking in the huge nest of hair, mascara streaked down her cheeks and general soaked appearance. 

“Can we talk?” she begs, dragging me into a classroom and shutting the door. She pauses for breath, struggling to not hyperventilate. I place a hand on her shoulder and she gulps in air. 

“Okay then,” I say slowly, “Care to tell me why you’re running around looking like you’re running from hell?” 

“Well, you know Hot Nathan dumped Cassie?” she says quickly. 


“Oh, God. Don’t you read Verity’s paper?” she asks, before launching into a speech, “Well after that he asked me to kiss him and I was like no and he kissed me anyway and I liked it and—“ 

“Woah, woah, woah!” I cut her off, holding up my hands, “One thing at a time! He asked you to kiss him?” 

Roxy took a deep breath, and I readied myself for bedlam. Roxanne’s story telling abilities were second to none. “I was just walking through the hallways, you know, doing my thing, and he appears by my arm! From nowhere!” She paused for dramatic effect. I noticed there was a bit of pond weed by her ear. 

“And?” I pushed, wanting to know more. What can I say? I like gossip as much as the next. 

“He asked me to take a walk through the grounds with him, to talk,” she starts, “I agreed, and we took this big long tangent to the lake. At which point, standing on that little jetty thing, you know, that wooden thing—“The jetty, I’m guessing. “—and he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. Of course, I knew he wanted to kiss me then, because that’s what they all do, right?” 

“Yes?” I guess, not exactly knowing the answer to her possibly rhetorical question. 

She flounders her hands about for a moment, and then sits down on a desk. 

“He asked if he could kiss me. I told him, no, because I barely know him. Totally fine with that, he just kisses me anyway. Oh my Merlin Rose, his lips are so soft. So I was kissing him for a while—“ 

“How long is a while?” I interrupt, and Roxy looks shifty. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” she says airily, “A few minutes?” 

My mouth drops open. She cracks a nervous smile. 

“Okay then,” I try, still absorbing this information. 

“Yeah,” she replies, fidgeting, “Then I pushed him off me, realising how slutty I was being, and stood there for a moment, looking pretty stupid.” 

“This doesn’t tell me why you look like you’ve had a party at the bottom of the lake.” 

Roxanne glares out the window. “Well, he told me to ‘think about it’ – how could I fucking not? – and sort of walked away—“ 

“Funny, I didn’t know you could ‘sort of walk’,” I comment, and Roxanne shoots me a ‘shut it, stupid’ look. 

“—which is when his fan club appeared. He has a fucking fan club!” she continues bitterly, “ And they proceeded to throw me into the lake.” 

“Wow,” I say, pretty astonished. 

“That’s not all. After that they dragged me out, and threatened me not to touch their boy. How psychotic is that?” 

I sit and consider this. “Yep. Psycho as it gets.” 

Roxanne’s shoulders slump and she gazes miserably at the floor. “I genuinely want to kiss him again, though.” 

“Oooh!” I mock, “Roxy’s got a booooooooooooooyfrieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend!”
She laughs, “Not yet! Just you wait... he’ll be mine by the Halloween ball.” 

She sounded a little too devious for my liking. “If you say so,” I reply, “In which case, I’m having—“ 

“Yes, yes, Scorp,” she sighs, hopping off her desk, “I’m going now. I only wanted sympathy.” 

Great. I’m being used for sympathy. 

She opened the door and toddled off again, pond weed and all. I followed her, carrying on towards Gryffindor tower. I took three steps, and got stopped a-bloody-gain. 

“Rose!” Louis exclaimed, appearing out of a secret passageway behind a tapestry depicting a knight and a pig. Who made these, and what were they smoking? 

“Yes, my darling cousin,” I answer, folding my arms. 

“No need to take that tone!” he growls, dragging me back into the classroom I just vacated and locking the door behind him. He looks exceptionally twitchy. 

“What is it with you cousins and your inability to keep your hands off me?” I grumble, “If you’re using me for sympathy I’m leaving.” 

Louis sits down heavily on a chair, dropping his head into his hands and mumbling something unintelligible. I drop down by him, prising his hands from his face. 

“Repeat that, please?” I ask, and his pupils dilate in fear. “I don’t bite!” 

“No, but... Never mind!” he half-yells in my face, standing up and trying to walk away. I pull him back down. 

“Repeat,” I insist. 

For a moment he fidgets and waves his hands about, casting a silencing spell on the room, and then he takes a deep breath. 

“You’re right,” he says. I grin. 

“Oooh, say that again! What am I right about?” 

“Me being... you know.” 

“Very, extremely, effeminately gay?” 

“Thanks, Rose.” 

“No problem.” 

“I was being sarcastic.” 

Oh. Fine then. I study Louis from where I’m sitting. His usually neatly combed hair is mussed and pushed in several directions, he lips are swollen and his cheeks are flushed. 

“Oh my Merlin,” I breathe, “You’ve been kissing someone. SPILL!” 

Louis winces. “Do you need to yell so loud?” 

I nod enthusiastically. “Who was it?” 

He doesn’t answer. I raise an eyebrow. He raises one back, but it twitches. He’s got an eyebrow spasm! I burst out laughing as he gives up and sighs. 

“Fine, then,” he sulks, “It was lamumbscumunba.” 

He mumbles the last part, so I don’t really hear it. 

“What now?” I ask curiously, “I couldn’t hear that through your mumbles.” 

“Rose, don’t!” Louis moans, “I don’t want to keep repeating it! It was Lorcan Scamander, okay?” 

My face is probably doing that unattractive shocked look again. Lorcan Scamander? 

Lily Potter’s ex-boyfriend? 

“Yes that Lorcan!” Louis says in a frustrated tone, “Lily’s ex! He’s gay and he thinks I am too!” 

“Well... you are,” I say, pulling a ‘duh’ face. 

“But am I?” 

“Yes. Right, now that that’s settled, I was off to the common room to sulk!” I announce, unlocking the door and jumping to my feet. 

“But I’m not done!” Louis protests as I yank open the door. 

“Oh yes,” I reply, “You bloody are.” 

“Rose!” Someone else calls. 

“Fuck off!” I roar, and sprint off to the common room. 

Christ, I hope that wasn’t a Professor. 

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Chapter 16: A So-Called Dares Festival
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Another brilliant graphic by Lady Malfoy at The Dark Arts =)

Problem 24: When I yelled ‘Fuck off’ at someone yesterday, I didn’t think it was my boyfriend. 

“Matt, I’m sorry, I thought it was another member of my extensive family,” I explain, watching his stony face as he glares. 

“Couldn’t you tell it was me?” he demands, “Couldn’t you pick out my voice?” 


This is me being honest. I pretty much leapt at my bed last night after I ran away, and slept in late. Seeing Matt glaring at me first thing on a Sunday isn’t exactly joyful. 

Truth be told, he only glared for a moment before storming out of the room, up to the boy’s dorms. 

I, being the caring person I am, rushed after him to see why he was angry. Oh, and it turned out to be... me. 

Matt sighs. “Look, Rose, I know you don’t love me. I know you will probably never love me. We’re still in school, for Christ’s sakes. But just... I think...” 

“Yes?” I push, “What do you think?” 

“I think—“ 

“Flower! Oi! Flower!” Livi yells, leaning in the door, “We’ve got a dares festival in the Room Of Requirement in five minutes!” 

I turn to Matt. “We’ll talk later, right?” 

He just nods, looking disapproving and grumpy. 

Livi grins and leads me away quickly. “Boyfriend troubles so soon? Not as dumb as he looks, then.” 

“Olivia!” I protest, “He’s talking about the l-word.” 

“L? Loopy? Leopard? Loser? Loner leaner learner lurcher?” 

“Shut up.” 

“Oh. My. Lemon. It was love, wasn’t it? And Rosey Posey can’t love because she’s already in love. Oh dear, oh dear, oh—“ 

“Seriously, Livi, I will hit you. With a stick.” 

She only grins at my downcast expression. “But you’ll like these dares. Albus made a new friend, Rose...” 

I sigh and give in. “Who’s the friend, stupid?” 

“It’s... Oh I can’t tell you!” 

I glare at her. She seems to be doing a strange dance as we walk. It goes like this: jiggle jiggle hop, skip skip jiggle. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, feigning concern, “You appear to be moving like a complete idiot.” 

She only grins back. Sometimes, Livi is so bloody infuriating it’s laughable. Except I’m not laughing, because she’s so bloody infuriating. 

Stopping outside where the door usually appears for us, Livi does some frantic pacing for a moment before the door appears. She squeals – actually squeals in delight – and dives at it, yanking at the handle with enough force to blow a bludger across a stadium. Not that she would have ever done that before. 

Before she literally jumps down a chute into the room – it’s for security, okay? – she grabs my hand, tugging me down with her. I scream, falling down the pipe with no apparent end, but before I’m sure I’m going to die, the same thing as ever happens – I land on the crash matt and stand up. 

“Took your time,” Albus huffs, and I glance around the room. 

No. Freaking. Way. 

“Hi, Rose,” Scorpius says lazily from the sofa, a bottle of Butter beer dangling from his long fingers, “Long time no see.” 

“Likewise,” I manage to reply, sounding effortlessly cool. Oh no, wait. I sound like a plonker, and my thighs are burning with my shifted blush. 

“Let’s get this party started!” Livi yells. Caspar, who is perched on a chaise longue in the corner, winces. 

“Nothing too loud,” she mutters, “My poor head...” 

“She’s got a fucking great head ache,” Scarlett stage whispers suddenly from beside me, “I guess inviting you wasn’t the best plan.” 

“Thanks, muchly,” I jibe, “Is this everyone?” 

“No, I invited Louis and the Scamander twins too,” Al announces. My heart weeps for Louis: this could be hugely uncomfortable. 

Scarlett starts laughing her head off after he’s said that. She probably used her ninja people skills to deduce Louis’ homosexuality way before I did. 

“So Al, how do you know Scorpius?” I say over her, looking pointedly from one boy to the other, “Weren’t you killing each other just a few days ago?” 

Both boys start looking uncomfortable. 


“Aunt Hermione said, you know...” 

“So we thought, maybe, we’d...” 


“Oh,” I reply to their stunted story, “That makes so much sense. Mum forced you to.” 

Albus nods enthusiastically, and I hear a whooshing sound. Louis drops from the sky in a tangle of limbs, leaping off the mat just as Lorcan and Lysander fall after him. To say they all look a little pink around the ears is an understatement: they all look hugely embarrassed by each other. 

“Hi,” Louis mutters. 

“Circle time!” Livi bellows, sitting down. We all dutifully make a vague circle shape, including the sofa, where I steal the seat by Scorpius and inhale deeply. 

Spicy, clean, gorgeous smell... 

Caspar puts down an empty bottle in the centre of the ‘circle’, and it starts spinning. We all watch it intently. 

Okay, so Caspar watches, and everyone else seems to be sneaking looks around. Mainly at me and Scorpius, but it seems Louis’ pretty popular too. Popular in the way he’s slowly turning more and more red. 

“Flower!” Livi announces in delight, as the bottle stops spinning on me, “You’re up!” 

“I dare you to—“Scarlett begins, but Louis interrupts. 

“Truth or dare?” he asks, staring resolutely at me so he doesn’t accidently glance at Lorcan. I roll my eyes at him. 

“Dare,” I answer, “What else?” 

Not that I’m protecting myself from awkward truths. Not at all. 

Livi grabs Scarlett and pulls her into a corner, whispering frantically. A toilet appears, then a closet, and they both disappear as a mannequin appears. It disappears as they stop talking. 

“Okay Rose,” Livi grins as she talks. This cannot be good. “You have to do the assault course.” 

“Fine.” I nod once. I don’t know whose idea it was to put the assault course by the forest, but it’s a brilliant course, once you get over the ominous silence. Occasionally someone will get stuck in the pit, but not to worry. The cast is newly off my arm as of this morning, so I don’t need to worry about that – must have been removed in my sleep. 

“Naked,” Scarlett concluded. 

Oh, fuck. 

“But everyone will see me!” I whine, “That’s not fair!” 

“You’re not backing out, are you?” Caspar says in a devious way, “You don’t want to do a forfeit?” 

I groan. “...Forfeits are for losers,” I mutter, reciting the phrase I always remember when I’m given one of this sort of dares. 

“Then you’ll do it!” Livi chirps, “Come on!” 

Standing up, my hand brushes Scorpius’ arm. My thighs, which were cooling down, immediately flare up again. Oh, wonderful. Everyone’s going to see my thighs burning as I run through the trees. 

The chute has suddenly grown a ladder up the side, so I jump onto the first rung and start scaling the metal bars. Livi runs to be second on, followed shortly by Scarlett. Who invited her, anyway? I don’t mind as such, but she’s never been here before. Generally it’s a family related affair. 

Reaching the top, I find myself at a pale grey wall. Glancing around, I realise this must be the way out now. Never in the same place twice. 

“Hurry up,” Livi orders, “There’s a queue forming!” 

Examining my nails, I lean on the wall. It swings round sharply, and suddenly I’m in a corridor, a small first year gawking at me. 

“Hi there!” I say brightly, and the boy jumps and runs away. 

Am I really that scary? 

As I start to walk away, the wall rolls around again to reveal Livi, then Scarlett, and then Caspar. Ah, my girls. Were there ever better people? 

As more people pop out of the seemingly normal partition of wall, I begin walking. I have absolutely no idea where I am, but my sense of direction is generally quite good, and no one challenges me, so I assume I’m right. 

“Wrong way, Weaslet.” 

Scratch that. “Shut up, Malfoy.” 

Oh, my god. 

I never thought I’d be hiding behind a tree naked again. I swore I’d never find myself in such a compromising position. Then again, I never expected to do anything quite as stupid again. Damn these people and their dares. 

At least I got to keep my wand this time. So in theory I can conjure clothes straight away. 

Straight after this mess. 

“Ready?” yells Caspar, who has miraculously recovered from her headache and is now holding a stopwatch above her head. 

“Set!” Livi shouts, raising her wand ready to set off the course. Oh yes, a magical assault course needs to be set off. 

This particular course is made up of thirteen different tasks – each in their own little room. I’ve done it before, but never naked. 
“Go!” Scarlett says quietly in my ear, making me jump. 

I start to sprint towards the course from my tree, attempting to cover myself as best I can, using my wand to blast a hole in the climbing wall I was supposed to scale. 

Part one: destroyed. 

Why would you climb when you can blow stuff up? 

Jumping through the hole, I realise Livi has handily started the bloody thing as a huge pendulum comes shooting towards my head. I duck just in time, freezing it and legging it to the other side, where the door to the third horror is. 

Part two: frozen. 

Yanking open the door, I’m confronted with the worst part: the movers. At first, it looks like an innocent corridor. Of course, I can’t see the spectators on the other side, but the blocky shapes in the windows somewhat remind me. Taking a deep breath, I steady my arms and get ready for hell. 

Then I take the first step. 

As soon as I have, the first obstacle shoots out: a long stick low to the ground, designed to knock you off your feet. I jump it and start running. BANG! A mace bursts from the wall and I lean sharply away from it, almost overbalancing. The place is only about a hundred metres long, but it’s the hardest task of them all. 

THWACK! I run straight into the path of a plank of wood, hitting my left thigh hard. 

“Ow! You barstard!” I shout, still running, but with a slight limp. 

The sticks keep shooting out, but I’m getting closer and closer to the next door.
Someone gasps from behind the window as I duck the penultimate barrier, yanking open the door. 


The final blow hit my butt. No, not kidding. I let out a small scream and ducked through the door. That was gonna leave a mark. 

Part three: ouch. 

The next obstacle was simple: a swimming pool. In theory, you just made it to the other end without drowning. I took a running jump, and hit the water already swimming. Suddenly, my body was so tired. Everything in me just wanted to stop and sink. 

It had got me. Instead of giving in like my slow limbs were yelling, I get swimming, slithering out at the other end of the pool. 

“Arrgh,” I moan, feeling all my muscles scream. There was a reason I didn’t like this stupid thing. 

Standing up, I wobble dangerously. Clutching my wand a little tighter, I quickly charm myself to dry off, warming my skin. 

Aah, that’s better. 

Only nine more to go... 

“Rose?” Livi asks, “Do you want your clothes back?” 

I’ve just crawled out of the final task: a battle against enchanted liana vines. Lengths of the blasted plant are wrapped around my thighs, arms and torso. There’s even a short piece around my pinkie finger. 

I nod weakly, collapsing on the floor. 

“Never,” I vow, “Never, ever again.” 

Livi throws my clothes at me, and they land just by my face. Lifting my wand, I flick it at my body, then the clothes. Miraculously, they appear on my tired form. 

“So!” Louis says, “Who’s next!” Everyone seems to be crowded around me. Doesn’t Scorpius look good from down here? 

“Breakfast,” I announce, “I need breakfast.” 

“Agreed,” Caspar says, “I need coffee.” 

“To the kitchens!” I say, scrambling to my feet. 

“So much for a day of dares,” Livi grumbles, “We’ll have to stay there forever now...” 

Caspar and I ignore her, already hurrying away. Besides, I have an irate boyfriend to deal with. An irate boyfriend who has just appeared by my elbow. 

“Rose,” he says, “We need to talk.” 

Not mine.
So? Thoughts? Yeah, I finally got this out =S Took me long enough!

Chapter 17: Cursing Cousins
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I know. I'm a major fail at updating. I could blame anything, but really it's just writer's block.

New chapter on the way: should be up by Friday!

The gorgeous image is by Lady Malfoy!

Problem 25: ‘Talking’ is generally code for ‘you’re dumped’. 

“I... er... sure,” I concede, letting him take my hand and lead me away. As he does, I take one last look at Scorp. 


We’re walking and I notice his grip on my hand is a little too tight. Maybe if it was Scorpius, he—NO ROSE NO! 

Fine. I should be concentrating on the boy I can have, anyway. 

Matt keeps walking, leading me along. Looks like we’re heading towards the Quidditch pitch. 

“Matt?” I test, “Where are we going?” 

He doesn’t answer, but keeps walking. And walking. And walking. Three minutes later, I ask again. 


“Ssh, Rose. There’s no need for speech.” 

“Matt, you’re freaking me out now,” I say in a nervous voice, noticing his determined and slightly deranged look. 

He stops abruptly, looking wounded. “Why did you first invite me out?” 


“Because you could. Because you’re Rose Weasley, and you don’t give a damn about anyone but yourself.” 

I gasp. “That’s not true!” 

“Oh give it up!” he lets go of my hand, making a wild gesture instead. “I raced down to the hospital wing to find you when you got hurt, and you were too busy staring after Malfoy to even notice me!” 

Oh. Oh dear. 

I bite my lip. “I—there’s something – I’m –“ 

“Rose, you need to grow up! I get it; I’m your stupid little plaything to you. I guess you think I’m not clever enough to see every time you stare after Malfoy, every time you tone out my voice, every time you pay me no attention!” 

His words hit me hard. “I don’t stare after Malfoy!” I defend weakly, feeling guilty. “I haven’t been stringing you along, Matt.” 

“I never said you had. But at least you admit it.” He fixes me with a hard stare, looking me deep in the eyes. “Grow up, Rose.” 

As he turns and walks away, I have a mental fit. 

Oh Merlin, what the hell just happened? 

Am I dumped? 

Oh God, I really am transparent. MATT could see me ignoring him? MATT, the boy who left his feet behind? Matt, the boy I’m using as innocent cover? 

“Matt?” I call to his retreating back, “I’m sorry!” 

He doesn’t turn around, but flicks me two very special fingers. 

Oh wow, thanks so much. 

I think I deserve it. 

“Wow,” Albus says, stepping out from under the cloak, “That was not exactly what I expected.” 

I stare at him blankly for a moment, and then draw my wand and start shooting hexes at him violently. 

“Stop—bang – listening – bang – to – fizz – my problems!” CRACK. “Oh, Merlin.” 

Al is rubbing his foot and howling, while Scorpius drops the cloak from over his head. I wince. 

“Hi, Rose,” he has his wand out in anticipation, “Nice day we’re having?” 

“I need breakfast,” I grumble, grabbing his arm and pulling him away to the castle, trying not to die of delight and embarrassment, “Come on.” 

“Not so fast!” I hear Al yell, “Come back!” 

Turning my head, I see him hopping madly towards us, looking rather like a windmill with his arms going madly. 

“Screw off, Severus!” I yell back, and he glares at the use of his middle name, still hopping. 

Turning back around, I am faced with Livi’s head about an inch from mine. 

“Your boyfriend stormed past us,” she says lightly, “Did he dump you yet?” 

“Livi!” I say, horror struck, “You’re wearing nothing but a Santa’s hat!” 

She looks down at her naked body. “Oh yeah. Still, nice day today, isn’t it?” 

“Oh, God,” I mumble, looking everywhere but at Livi. Scorpius seems to have had the same idea. We both turn and watch Al hopping toward us instead. He teeters, and falls over under our gaze. “Bummer.” 

“OI, ROSE!” I hear. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, here he comes, barrelling down the path towards us. 

“James!” Livi chirps, turning to face him, baring all in the process. James promptly covers his eyes and keep stumbling on, tripping over a rock. 

“Olivia, put some clothes on now!” he orders, “Or I’ll take you to the headmaster!” 

Livi shrugs. “If you say so...” With a flick of her wand, she’s fully clothed. Admittedly in a fairy costume, but it’s clothing none the less. 

“Nice wings,” Scarlett comments, popping up by my shoulder and taking my arm. In fact, it’s more like she’s yanking me away from Scorpius, to be honest. I look at her, and she pointedly looks between me and James. Oh yeah. 

Letting go of Scorpius rather quickly, I glance at James. He’s looking suspicious. He never really got house unity... Then again, Albus only got it as mum bullied him into it. 

“What are you doing?” he asks harshly. 

“Er...” I answer, “We were having a dares festival.” 

James snorts. “Not you, Rose. Malfoy.” 

Everyone simultaneously turns to look at Scorpius. He doesn’t look like he’s doing anything out of the ordinary. Okay, he’s holding Albus’ foot up as Al tries to charm it back to normal, but still. 

“I’m helping your brother,” he explains simply as Al looks up and wobbles dangerously. 

“Why?” James questions, taking a step towards the precarious pair. I grab hold of my wand, just in case. I see Caspar and Livi do the same. Before Scorpius can answer, Livi seems to have a brainwave. 

“Ow,” she moans, “My head hurts so much. James, will you help me to the hospital wing?” 

James, being the love struck fool that he is, gets distracted and slings an arm around Livi, who clutches at her head dramatically, winking slyly at me and Caspar. They start to walk away, looking hugely odd. 

“Bye, fairy girl!” Lu cheers, “Hope you get well soon!” 

“James doesn’t like you much,” Lorcan says sadly, “It’s a shame, because he’s going to try and make your life hell now.” 

“Thanks,” Scorpius replies, dropping Al’s foot. There’s an uncomfortable pause where everyone stares at everyone else – although Louis is noticeably staring at his feet. 

“Am I ever going to get breakfast?” I cry suddenly, and everyone stops staring and starts heading towards the castle. 

A hand slips into mine, and I notice Caspar is trying to look reassuring. I mouth ‘fine’ to her, but she raises an eyebrow. 

Okay, so James threatening my future life partner and generally acting like an idiot does mildly unnerve me, especially as when me and Scorpius get together – okay, so it’s so not happening now, but I’m sure that it will – Aunt Ginny is bound to take his side on it. 

Family! I never considered family! Admittedly I have been spending most of my time just fantasising about snogging him senseless, but—wait. Stop this mindless rubbish. Scorpius has a girlfriend, even if it is ‘just what i have with Matt’. 

What the hell did that mean, anyway? It’s practically redundant now, seeing as he’s sussed me out – or that’s what it sounded like – but still. I’d like to know what goes on in Scarlett’s little mind as she figures out other people’s relationships and such the like. I mean, it must be pretty awesome. I wonder if she’s part seer. 

No, she can’t be part seer. She’s just too irritating for that. But I bet her mind is full of information I’d love to get my hands on. 

I wonder if she knows who Scorpius likes. Besides her, of course. 

We trudge into the hall, everyone suddenly very uncomfortable again. There’s a few mumbled conversations, most notably Louis and Lysander, whom I can hear hissing behind me. Of what I can catch of it, they’re discussing – or arguing – their kiss. 

“ way... I’m not gay!” 

“....denying fate.... don’t be so stupid!” 

Their voices get louder as they argue, stopping everyone else’s conversations as we all listen in. 

“Well if you hadn’t of—“Louis hisses, glaring at Lysander with what I can only describe as desperate amounts of sexual tension. 

“You wanted it!” Lysander interrupts, glaring back with about as much force. 

“Shut UP! I didn’t!” Louis shouts, the noise catching the attention of a few other people loitering in the hallways. 

“You’re such a liar, Louis!” Lysander roars. This is getting ugly. 

“This is all your fault!” Louis retorts equally loudly. 

“Do you want me to tell Petrova?” Lysander says in a deadly serious voice. Louis pales, all blood dropping from his face. 

“You wouldn’t,” he breathes. Lysander smiles, smug with the upper hand. Our entire group has stopped moving now, openly staring at the conflict in front of our eyes. 

“Oh I would,” Lysander confirms, “So you just keep that in mind, okay?” He walks away from us, disappearing in the direction of the Ravenclaw dormitories. Louis runs a hand through his hair, and finally seems to notice us. 

“Would you all just piss off?” he yells, and then runs after Lysander. 

“Alright then,” Albus says when Louis is safely out of earshot, “What was that?” 

“Don’t bother your little head about it,” Scarlett replies, “It’ll all work out fine.” 

Scarlett is generally right. If she says so, I believe it. 


The common room is packed full of people. Sweet Luke is pinning a Quidditch timetable to the board while Livi watches, offering unhelpful comments to young children who want to watch us train; Caspar and Harry are having a quiet conversation by the fire; I’m slumped in a chair opposite them. Matt is no-where to be seen. His friends say he hasn’t been seen all day. 

Ah, shit. 

It always ends up as my fault that anything vaguely annoying happens around here. Explosion in the toilets? Me and Livi trying to animate the toilet seats to bite nasty teachers. Firework whizzing through your room? I spilt the water on the packet, resulting in a multitude of fizzing, popping horrors. Boy missing after a row with his charming and not at all to blame girlfriend? Well, hi there. 

Matt’s friends are glaring at me. Obviously they’ve sussed out I’m to blame. Ideally, I have a halo the size of the room proving I’m innocent, but as I haven’t and I’m not, they’re having a good old bitch fest about me. 


Honestly, I have no idea why they keep doing weird little imitations of me. I know I look dumb with my guitar occasionally, but really. How immature. 

“Rose Weasley?” 


Can no-one tell I’m having a muse to myself? 

“Rose. A letter from Professor MacMillan.” 

I look up to see a rather fascinated first year gazing at me. 

“Thanks,” I say, taking the roll of parchment. The girl doesn’t leave. I notice she has a spot right on her nose. Haha. 

“Is it true you ran naked through the castle?” she asks eagerly. I feel a glare fall onto my face. 

“No, it most definitely is not. I’ll have you know it was all Malfoy’s fault, and that’s none of your business.” 

The kid walks away disappointed while I slouch further into my seat, opening the letter. 

Rose Weasley;
Your rehearsal with your band is scheduled for this Saturday, from ten in the morning.
Best wishes, Professor MacMillan.

I groan and sit up straight, feeling my back complain. 

Suddenly, the door bangs open and James strides in, walking right up to me and thrusting a piece of paper in my face. In extremely messy handwriting that could only be his is written two words: ‘Outside now’. 

I shrug and follow him back through the door. It’s only James: he can’t threaten me with much. 

As soon as the door shuts, he shouts: 

“Godfuckshitbollocks, your mum is going to KILL ME!” 

I shrug to this comment. What am I supposed to do, comfort him? No way. He’s a big boy now. 

After a moment where he looks as if he’s about to go bug-eyed and scream, he retains composure and decides to take some deep breaths. 

“What’s up, Jamsie?” I ask innocently, lacking a motive that would persuade me not to be annoying right now. 

“M- T- D- ...oh God Rose, how do I put this? I’m in trouble.” 

“What have you done now?” I ask suspiciously. Like his father, James has a record of reckless stupidity. Sometimes it pays off, but others.... 

“I made a bet. On you.” 

“Oh good.” 

“And I’m losing. Please, please, please, Rose, date Marius for me?” 

My mouth falls open. My own cousin? Really? 

I turn to leave, and come face to face with Matt. His jaw seems to be locked. 

“Hello, Rose,” he says stiffly. I’m definitely blocking his way. 

“Hello, Matt,” I reply, suddenly very uncomfortable. 

“Hi,” says James from behind me, “I’m James.” 

“I know,” Matt says shortly, and I step aside to let him past. He duly opens the door and sweeps through, followed by me. Oh, and James. 

“Please, Rose! I owe money!” 

“That’s your own fault,” I snap, resuming my chair grumpily. What a waste of my precious energy. 


“Shut the fuck up, James! I’m busy. Can’t you tell?” 

There is a pause, and then he shakes his head. Getting down on his knees, he clasps his hands together and makes a pitiful face. Instead of watching him beg, I ignore him and focus on Matt, who is talking with his friends in what looks like serious tones. I hate serious conversations. What I like is playful, joking tones, interspersed with a dollop of flirting. And preferably with food on the side. 

All three of them – Matt, and the other two I didn’t know, who I was quite sure weren’t even in our year, turn to look at me. I flush and look back at James, who’s trying to do puppy-dog eyes, and failing. Standing up and pushing him off balance in the process, I rush to my dorm, a place I know James can’t follow me into. For some strange reason, I just want to burst into tears. 

And then smash something into tiny little pieces. 

But crying gives me a headache. So I guess I’ll go straight to pounding something into shards. 

In the dorm, the room is a tip. But luckily enough, every bed has a glass and jug of water constantly by it. Taking mine, Lucinda’s and Caspar’s, I clamber out of the window onto the battlements and skirt along until I reach the outcrop where my bum fits nicely. 

Juggling the three jugs around, I balance them on my lap while I pull my wand out of my pocket. Wand firmly in hand, I chuck the first jug into the air. When it starts to fall I point my wand and make it explode into lots of tiny likkle fragments with a tremendous bang. 

“Woohoo,” I mumble, and someone sticks their head out of the window beneath the ledge. 

“Rose, is that you?” Lily asks, glancing up. 

“No,” I reply, chucking the next jug plain off and watching it fall. It hits the ground surprisingly fast, smashing into a stupid amount of pieces. 

“Good,” Lily says, “We need to talk.” 

Twice in one day? Really?

Review's are nice -- and it would be nice to see what you thought of my re-entry into publishing!


Chapter 18: Cousins
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By Lady Malfoy <3

Problem 26: Here come the family. 

Yes, it would seem that Lucy Weasley has also tagged along with Lily. I’m not sure my brain can handle her quite now. 

“Rose! What on Earth are you doing?” Lucy asks. Ah, my intelligent family, full of wise and beautiful characters. Like... Well. Perhaps I’ll give that one a think. 

“Shut up, Lucy,” Lily spikes in, grabbing my last remaining jug and throwing it with full force from the battlements. I hear a muffled scream from below, and decide it’s better not to investigate. 

“’Sup, loser,” I greet, and leave a pause before saying: “You’ve got to go fetch that.” 

“No chance,” she replies, “Is that all you had?” 

“Yes it was! Why are you out here? Isn’t the life of a Potter supposed to be full of grace and charm?” I shot her a curious look, to which she just glared. 


“What about you, Lucy? Book died of overuse?” I test. Okay, I’m being a bit snide. So sue me. 

Lucy stares at me for a moment. I stare back. Lucy isn’t very pretty, very ugly, or distinctly disfigured in any way. But the sight of her plain little face still makes me feel inferior. I guess it’s her huge brain. 

“Hey Rose?” Lucy asks, “Why are you such a fucking bitch?” 

I gape as Lily starts to laugh. Unfortunately enough, Lucy isn’t done. 

“I mean, there’s no particular reason for you to hate me. I do speak in that really annoying voice you hate, but hey, I only do it to piss you off. Is it because you know that I’m not psychotic or messed up in any way, or because I’m not licking your shoes? I’m not my little sister, and I won’t cut my hair like yours, because frankly you’re a fuck up.” 

I can’t help it. I start to laugh too. I’ve misjudged this little part of my family. 

“Thanks, Lucy. It’s good to know my family still loves me,” I shoot back, “Seriously, are you here on a whim or what?” 

Lucy shrugs. “Finished my book, and James was in the Common room. You know how I feel about him.” 

Oh yes, I do. Spectacular bouts of teasing from James are just a click away. 

“Lily?” I ask, and she pulls out her wand. 

“Reparo,” she mumbles, and soon a vase is zooming back up into the sky. “Well Rose, I’m here to ask a favour. Could you please punch your boyfriend?” 

“Ask Malfoy, just give him a drink and he’ll be happy to,” I say sarcastically. “No, I bloody well won’t. Do it yourself. And why?” 

“Because he’s a miserable git. I just found him in the corridor to Honeydukes blowing all the lights to pieces.” 

“I’ll do it,” Lucy laughs, “I can hit him with my book if you like.” 

Me and Lily looked at her. 

“What’s come over you, Lucy?” I breathe, “You’re acting like a... like a...” 

“Weasley?” Lily helpfully interjects. 

It’s true. In the last minute or so, I’ve felt closer to my nerdish relative than ever before. 


“But seriously Lily,” I change the subject again, “Why are you smashing jugs?” 

She lowers her eyes and looks mournful. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“Try me,” I counter, “I’ve heard them all.” 

“You can never hear them all,” Lucy disagrees, “ Someone will surprise you soon. I bet you.” 

“How much?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. 

“Two sickles.” 


“I think Louis might be gay,” Lily says, in the kind of voice reserved for epiphanies and big news. 

I start to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Because really, this is too funny. This is what had her all angsty? 

“Stop laughing!” Lily stresses, “This is serious! You know Aunty Vic is obsessed with Louis’ future wife.” 

“I know,” I laugh, “That’s why it’s funny.” 

Lucy picks up the conversation as I laugh myself silly. 

“What gave you that idea?” she asks politely, though clearly she’s dying to laugh herself to insanity and back. 

“Well, I saw him coming out of this room after Lysander, and he looked really happy and loving. Like he was in love.” 

I sober up at that. Love? LOVE? 

“You’re kidding,” I say quickly, before Lucy says something rational, “And he had a massive argument with Lysander today about whether or not he was gay. When did you see this?” 

Lily shrugs. “About half an hour ago. Why?” 

I’m about to hop off my seat, but then I realise I’m about eight stories off the floor. So instead I do a shuffle back to the window, making both Lily and Lucy grumble as I scoot over them. I have to find Louis and pound an answer out of him. 

When I find out what the question is. 

Skirting back through my dorm, I bravely open the door to the stairs and encounter mayhem, in the form of James. 

“Rose!” he bellows, over the sound of everyone else having a giant popcorn fight. What is wrong with my school? Why couldn’t it be normal, for once? 

Muttering curses, I skirt around the edge of the room, taking advantage of the fact James just got popcorn in his eye. I’m gone before he has a chance to recover. Now to find my darling cousin... 

The corridor outside the tower is empty. It’s very peaceful, especially considering the situation inside. But unfortunately, empty means no Louis, which means I can’t ask him if he’s finally accepted he’s gay as a gay thing. 

So I set off for the place I expect him to be: the library. Ah, the library. That sacred little place full of that book-smell that’s much nicer than it should be, especially given the librarian. Marginally less scary than she was when I was a first year, and yet still amazingly terrifying. 

Walking quietly through the doors, I find no immediate sign of Louis. He’s not at his usual desk, or behind the curtain sitting on the windowsill. In fact, he’s not bloody well here at all. But someone, at least, is here to offer help. Not. 

“Hello, Weaslet.” 

I turn from the windowsill I was examining, just in case I suddenly had amazing tracker skills and could find out when Louis was last here, to see something gorgeous. And very, very close to me. 

“Hello, Malfoy,” I manage to say, “Do you mind invading my personal space?” 

He smirks. “No. Do you mind?” 



He doesn’t move. I wonder if he can feel the blush rising up on my thighs, or the way my heart is dancing around my chest like a bouncy ball. 

“Would you be bothered if I moved?” Scorpius says sexily. Something strikes me: we’re standing in the library, my face in just inches from him, and he’s FLIRTING with me. 

Did my knees just buckle? 

No. Okay then. 

“I think I might mind,” I reply, flirting shamelessly back. It only makes him smirk more. 

This can lead to nowhere but some amazing love story in which I am the heroine and Scorpius eventually realises his deep, undying love for me which he masked all those years with flimsy hatred. 

Oh yeah. 

Actually, it’s leading to his face getting closer to mine. I close my eyes in anticipation, and feel his breath ghost over my lips softly. 

“Did my heart love ‘til now? Forswear its sight. For I never saw true beauty ‘til tonight.” 

My mind’s still reeling from his knowledge of Shakespeare when I open my eyes, and he is gone. 

Did my heart love ‘til now? 
Did it? Oh God, the L word. I love him so much. 

I running a hand through my hair, I decide that it’s probably time to go find Louis. After all, that was why I turned up in the first place.

I slam my hands down on his table – he was in the Great Hall, dawdling after dinner, which means he’s avoiding someone. Or worse, he’s waiting to break the news to Petrova. Ha. I hope so. 

“Merlin, Rose, don’t scare me like that!” he protests, jumping up from his slumped position, “Can’t you tell I’m jumpy?” 

“I can now,” I say, as if it’s obvious, “What you doing?” 

“What are you doing,” he corrects. Stupid Ravenclaws. 

“I asked first!” I joke, even if it’s weak. “But seriously, you look like you’re about to do something strange.” 

“You mean stranger than kissing a boy?” he asks, one eyebrow raised. I beam. 

“So you finally admit it! You’re gay and proud!” I cry happily, but not too loud. Louis might kill me. 


Oh. Oh dear. “...So what are you doing?” I question again. 

“I’m waiting for Pet—“BINGO! “—and then I’m going to dump her.” 

I restrain myself from doing a victory dance. “And then you’ll go find Lysander and tell him you love him like no other?” 

Louis looks stricken. “We... we agreed we had to see each other in private. But he doesn’t want to; he wants to be public. I can’t Rose, not yet!” 

I’m too smug with the development of his acceptance that he’s gay to mind too much about this. I give him a hug and happily trundle away. Unfortunately, however much I like to think fate values me, she sometimes punishes me. 

“Rose, my darling! Your cousin said you might be here.” 

I’ve gone so long without really seeing Marius. A whole week without serious interaction. And now here he is, and I bet James sent him to woo me. That slimy little bar stool. 

“Hello, Marius,” I say through gritted teeth. 

“Ah, your voice is like hearing angels sing! It makes me want to cry with happiness. It’s been too long, Rose, since I heard the sweet sound of you speaking. Tell me more, please?” he leans a little closer to me, and I hastily sidestep him, running up the stairs. 

“Bye!” I yell back. He looks delighted. Unfortunately, delighted means he’s currently following me. Blast it all. 

Luckily enough, I run into my darling cousin. It’s lucky I have so many of them – otherwise I could be in trouble with idiots much more. Anyway, Roxy whips her wand out and puts a leg locker curse on Marius as soon as she sees him, and then whisks me off into a classroom. 

So much for a rescue. 

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Chapter 19: The Almost Boyfriend
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By Lady Malfoy at TDA =D

Problem 27: I am being kidnapped by my own relatives. 

“Roxy!” I splutter as she locks the door, “What the hell?” 

She shushes me and starts to pace up and down. I sense a mad lady. 

“Oh my God,” she says quietly, “I’m an idiot.” 

“Really?” I like to think of myself as helpful. But Roxy seems to think not. No, she seems to think punching me in the shoulder would be more helpful. “Ow!” 

“I’m sorry but I am very, very stressed!” 

She sits down heavily on the floor, and motions for me to follow suit. Against my better judgement, I place myself near her fists again. 

“What’s up?” I ask tentatively, and it’s as if the floodgates open and out pours the drama. 

“Oh my God I ignored them and then they spiked my drink with something bad and I kissed Matt and Verity and then I’m pretty sure I collapsed at James’s feet and I woke up in the hospital wing and OH GOD I THINK I CHEATED ON MY ALMOST BOYFRIEND.” 

Almost boyfriend? And I thought I was complicated. 

“Ignored who?” I question stupidly. This can only lead to more of Roxy’s madwoman babbling. 

“The fan club! The fucking mentalist FAN CLUB!” 

“Right. What did you do this time?” Deciding I’m in for the long haul, I might as well get the whole story. 

“Snogged him.” 

“That it?” I’ve done way worse than that and not been attacked... 

“It admittedly was while I flipped them off. In the middle of the corridor. Before charms,” Roxy sighs, almost as if she regrets her actions. “I shouldn’t have gotten involved. I should have just... left him be. Now thanks to a few freaky fans, I’ve kissed not only your boyfriend, but Verity, the bloody paper editor, and I don’t know who else because after Verity I sort of blacked out.” 

It’s strange hearing Roxy miserable. Usually she’s so... bouncy. 

“Hey, cheer up, chick,” I attempt to comfort. Comforting has never really been my forte. “Me and Matt sort of broke up anyway.” 

“How can you ‘sort-of’ break up with someone?” she asks curiously. 

“Well, I guess he called me out. I have no idea where I stand,” I admit, “It’s like having an ‘almost boyfriend’ except he’s madly pissed off at you.” 

“Lovely,” Roxy comments, “I don’t actually know if Nathan’s annoyed or not, given that I’ve been avoiding him for the whole hour since I escaped the hospital wing.” 

I stare at her. She stares back. 

“Well, Roxy, there’s one way to find out,” I start suggestively. Roxy looks horrified. 

“But what if he is?!” 

“What if he’s angry, or what if he’s not?” I question, “Come on.” 

Standing up, I hold out my hand. She grabs onto it, and I haul her to her feet. She looks uncharacteristically scared. Taking a deep breath, she steadies herself. 

“I can do this,” she murmurs. 

As soon as we step out of the door, hands held, it becomes apparent we have a problem. 

The castle is huge, and he could be bloody anywhere. 

“Oh, fuck,” I moan, “Couldn’t this be something diminutive?” 

Nonetheless, we set off towards the one place we can think of – the lake. If he’s not there, at least we’ve had a nice walk. 

“Are you sure I can’t just pretend this never happened?” Roxy says hesitantly, and I look in the same direction she’s looking. By some kind of miracle, hot Nathan is indeed by the lake, skimming stones. 

“No,” I reply with steely resolve, “You won’t forget, he won’t forget, and it’ll probably be in the paper tomorrow anyway.” 

With a slight moan, Roxy drops my hand. “I shall go this alone,” she says dramatically.
I snort. “What, and get thrown in the lake again? No chance.” 

She glares at me. Behind her, the Whomping Willow is swaying. “Fine,” she finally concedes, “But at least pretend not to be eavesdropping.” 

I beam, and she glares back. Suit yourself. 

I watch her approach Hot Nathan – she calls his name and he turns around, expression unreadable. And then she trips and falls over. Suddenly, I see him looking both shocked and horrified. Ooh – he’s going to help her to her feet. How romantic. See, if I fell it’d probably be Scorpius tripping me, so... Well. Not gonna go there. 

“Oh, God, sorry,” Roxy apologises. WHY IS SHE APOLOGISING? 

Nathan smiles. Merlin, I remember why he’s nicknamed Hot Nathan. 

“That’s fine,” he says, “Why did you apologise?” 

Yeah Roxy, why? 

Roxanne blushes. Wow, she must like him. She not only fell over, but she’s nervous. 

Hahaha Roxanne nervous... the world must be ending. 

“Because I think I might have done something stupid,” she mumbles. How am I supposed to eavesdrop if she mumbles? 

“You mean kissing a load of random people?” Hot Nathan chuckles, “And then passing out in front of Professor Potter muttering ‘snoggy snog snog?’” 

Roxanne visibly cringes. She didn’t tell me that part of the story. I cover my mouth with my hand, trying not to wet myself laughing. 

“Yeah, that,” she says, looking embarrassed and somehow confident at the same time. 

Hot Nathan shrugs. “Forget it, I heard some weirdo poisoned you.” 

Yeah. Some weirdo. 

Speaking of which, I see a blonde head pop out from the side of a bush and glare at the happy – well, mildly embarrassed – couple. Time to put a stop to this ‘fan club’ business. 

Heading over to the bush, which is now rustling ominously, I take the longer but more concealed route. Hell, I want the element of surprise. I have no idea how many of them are in there, and Roxy will probably vote to run and hide if I get into trouble.
Not that she’s a coward. She just likes her face the way it is. And trust me, I know enough about confrontation to expect that I’ll have to go up to the hospital wing and grab some bruise paste. Or worse. 

As I near the wobbling bush, I find three almost identical girls hidden – or they were when I was the other side of the bush – behind it. When I say identical, I’m not kidding. They all have very, very blonde hair with even blonde extensions starting about at their shoulders, very, very pink lips with matching pink pouts, and what looks like very, very tight clothing. Fan club my left buttock: this is Hogwarts Association of Plastic Fantastic. 

Or Plastic Ew. Depends what your style is, I guess. 

Anyway, I’m highly unimpressed they threw my cousin in a lake. They’d be ugly even if they were pretty that way, you know? 

Pulling my wand out, I point it carefully at the middle... um... girl? I’m ashamed at my own gender. They can be a new gender: the Very Blonde Creep. 

“Petrificus Totalus,” I say smoothly. VBC snaps into position, her eyes darting about wildly. “Hello, blondes.” 

The two other VBC’s look scared. 

“Sc-Scorpius Malfoy?” the one on the left squeaks. I frown. 

“No, stupid, it’s Rose Weasley,” I retort, “How stupid are you?” 

“How deaf are you?” Scorpius says from behind me, and I spin around as he flicks his wand rapidly at the two other VBC’s in turn. “I’ve been tailing you for two whole minutes.” 

“I can’t help it if you’re annoyingly sneaky,” I snap. He doesn’t seem surprised, or bothered. “What are you doing tailing me?” 

“What are you doing cursing innocent blondes? Not to mention accusing them of being stupid.” 

Oh, nice come back. “Shut up, Malfoy,” I grumble, “Besides, they threw my cousin in the lake.” 

Scorpius points past the bush to where I last spotted Roxanne and Nathan. “You mean that one?” 

I glance at them. They’re snogging madly. “Yep.”
“Yeah, I saw them do it,” he says coolly. I glare at him. 

“Why didn’t you bloody help?” I ask angrily, “You could’ve stopped it!” 

Scorpius shrugs nonchalantly. “Well I tried, but I do believe the words she yelled were ‘Fucking hell, not you too’.” 

I shrugged in reply. “Sounds like her.” 

As if we’ve just made a unanimous decision, we both turn to head back to the castle. It’s rather spiffy walking with Scorpius. He smells really, really nice. 

He smells like a hug. 

We get to the main hall, part ways, and don’t see each other for the rest of the day. 

“Snoggy Snog SNOG!” 

Those were the last words heard from the sexual deviant Roxanne Weasley yesterday, after a rampage of tyrannical and mildly poetic kissing. The people who fell victim to her parade of tongue are as follow: Matt Grimsby, the now confirmed ex-boyfriend of Rose Weasley. I, the writer. Fenella Poplin, Rachel Hunt and Miranda Grace Jones in quick succession, and finally one Alistair Creevey, who is just twelve, a ripe an impressionable age. 

Following this attack of amorous energy, Miss Weasley collapsed at the feet of her cousin and teacher, Professor James Potter.

I sniggered to myself. Oh, poor Roxy.

But then again, poor me. Who the bloody hell confirmed that Matt was my ex? He never even made it official. I mean, two fingers in my face is pretty official, but really. 

There was only one thing for it: I was going to have to ask him if I was single. How humiliating. 

It’s a reasonably quiet Monday morning at Hogwarts, and I’ve got not only a full cup of coffee but a full plate of untouched food in front of me. I keep eyeing it, telling myself to eat, but I think I’ve caught something from those blondes, and it’s making me want to vomit all over said plate of food. 

So instead I’m reading Verity’s crappy paper. So far the front page has a picture of Roxanne lying at a shocked looking James’ feet, and a brilliant article that everyone in the school – bar a select few – has probably read. 

Flicking to page two however, I suddenly remember why I hate this stupid rag so much. In huge, bold print letters, with a rather large cartoon image of what looks like a crazy red head with a guitar, is the phrase ‘Entirely superficial and disgustingly shallow’. Oh great. Reading whilst glaring, I conclude one of Matt’s friends submitted an ‘anonymous’ article, complete with picture. Fan-bloody-tastic. 

There’s a tap on my shoulder, and an awkward clearing of the throat. I turn my head to see Matt looking sheepish. 

“Can I sit down?” he asks, and I nod. Hey, free country. But I will kill your friend. He notices the article sitting in my hands. “Ah. Sorry.” 

I sigh, looking longingly at my coffee and breakfast. If only the thought of putting food in my mouth didn’t make me want to hurl. 

“That’s fine, Matt,” I decide, “It’s not your fault.” 

“Sorry, though. I didn’t think he’d actually put it forward, it was just a joke.” 

Well it wasn’t bloody funny. 

Caspar plops into the seat opposite me, glancing briefly at Matt. She does a double take. 

“What are you doing here, cartoon boy?” she asks rudely, “And Rose has never looked that stupid with a guitar, anyway.” 

“That’s entirely not my fault,” Matt snaps back. Oh God, my ex and my best friend are having a bitch fight. “I can’t help it if my friends have a sense of humour!” 

“No, but you could but a bloody leash on them or something!” Caspar retaliates. I think I’m getting a migraine. 

I stand up abruptly as Matt opens his mouth to argue some more, and sway strangely. His attention is immediately back on me. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, which is about the time I fall backwards onto him.

'ello again. I own nothing. 

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Chapter 20: The Flu
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Problem 28: Here I am again, in the Hospital Wing. 

“—she’s sick, not anorexic!” 

“I was just asking, for crying out loud! She didn’t eat anything this morning.” 

“That’s because she’s SICK!” 

I open my heavy eyes to see that Matt and Caspar have continued to argue all the way up here. Brilliant. Livi, for once, isn’t saying anything, but is instead swinging her legs as she perches on the gurney next to my bed. Strangely enough, Lily is also here. 

“Well how was I supposed to know that?” Matt barks. He looks quite pretty angry, really. 

“Maybe if you used that fluff you call a brain—“ 

“Oh, shut up, both of you,” I groan, “Can’t a girl faint without her motives being questioned?” 

“No,” Madam Cherie says smoothly, gliding up to take my temperature. Pressing her wand against my forehead, a shiny red number appears in the air: one hundred and two. Point seven. What’s the point in being precise? I already know I feel like crap. “You need to stay in here a few days. All of you, out! You might catch whatever she’s got, which I highly suspect to be the flu.” 

Oh, brilliant. How much better can my life get? 

My ex-boyfriends loser friend has managed to get a cartoon of me all the way around the school. 

The boy I genuinely want has called me out for cursing blonde weirdo’s. 

And I have the flu. 


As my rather caring – considering he was swearing at me yesterday – ex boyfriend and my best friends leave, leaving me with Lily, I feel a distinct sense of relief. And then I realise Lily’s still here. 

“Why are you still here?” I ask nicely. Well, rudely. But I have the flu, so it’s okay for me to be horrible now. 

Lily shrugs, and looks at Madam Cherie, who huffs. 

“Professor Bell sent her up here,” the matron explains, patting her golden hair to see if it’s kept to its neat little bun. Of course it has; she uses so much magic on it I doubt it ever even comes loose. “Something about a duel that backfired on Lily.” 

“Who were you duelling?” I ask Lily, amazed she’d do something so openly nasty. She opens her mouth to reply, and meows. Realising this, she claps a hand over her mouth, eyes widening. 

I start to laugh, but unfortunately have to stop when I start to cough instead. Damn it all! 

Lily tries to laugh back at my coughing fit, but instead does some strange cat-like wheezing. Haha! Karma. 

“Oh dear,” Madam Cherie mutters, scuttling off to her office on her pin-like legs. I notice she’s wearing a pair of very tall heels; I always wonder how she gets to be taller than Albus. Cheater. 

Madam Cherie is what I guess most people would picture as the mildly slutty receptionist at some big city firm someplace: she wears pencil skirts and tall heels, her make-up is done to perfection, she doesn’t do fats or carbohydrates. Whereas I wear school uniform and comfy flat shoes, I look like I jabbed mascara in the vague direction of my eyes, and I eat roughly five times what I should. Just saying. 

I guess it’s pointless to say that she’s the female object of desire for many young, hormonal boys. Valentine’s Day is the worst time to go to the hospital wing, ever. Even if you can fight your way through the many idiots clustered around her office, you find you have to wade through bouquets as big as you are, and then battle for a bed with some plonker who thinks he can woo Madam Cherie by being an injured soldier. 

Pah. None of them ever get any attention; although she doesn’t show it, Madam Cherie is a closet lesbian, as I found out last year. 

It’s a long story. 

And although I could tell that story, I’m feeling kind of sick, and Madam Cherie has returned with something violently pink to feed Lily. 

I have no idea what whoever she was duelling hit her with, but she’s sprouted whiskers. I would laugh, but Madam Cherie has brought me something to ‘cure’ me too. And we all know what this means: she’s going to drug me halfway to insanity, and then I will fall asleep, handily waking up next time she wants to force another lot of it down my throat. 

“Open wide,” she commands, and I’m about to say something witty when she pours something vaguely purple looking into my mouth. Ew. 

Newsflash: Medicine is not nice. 

It burns down my throat, and I realise I was very, very right when I guessed what was about to happen to me. I start to get drowsy instantly, and feel very grumpy about it too. It’s stupid well three days I need to take off, and I could be using them doing other stuff, like snogging Scorpius or flirting with Scorpius or talking to Scorpius. 

You know, stuff that happens in my dreams. 

Speaking of which... 

“The monkeys Rose, the monkeys!” Livi yells, and bursts into tears. I stare at many cages of monkeys, unsure which ones she means. They all look the same to me. 

“Which monkeys?” Matt asks, appearing by my shoulder with a parrot. “There’s so many monkeys, but only three of them are good monkeys! Find them, Rose!” 

“Find the monkeys!” Scorpius orders, pushing me roughly towards them. The monkeys all begin to make screeching sounds, and Livi starts laughing. 

“It’s impossible!” she cries, “The monkey’s don’t exist!”

I hate whatever Madam Cherie’s fed me. Not only am I having insane dreams, but my mouth feels all swollen. 

And when on Earth did my parents get here? 

“Rosie, can you hear me?” Mum says gently. 

I groan. Honestly, I am ill. Actually full blown ill, not oh-dear-I-have-a-sniffle ill. My head hurts, it feels like the room is dancing around me, and my eyes are so heavy. I want to go back to sleep. 

Mmmn, sleep. That sounds nice. 

“Rose, the nurse wants you to take some medicine,” Mum carries on, clearly oblivious to how bad I feel. 

I groan again, and open my eyes. Ugh. Bad idea. Even my eyeballs hurt. 

But luckily enough they still work, and my mother and father come into focus. 

“Muuuum,” I moan, “Daaaaad. Ill.” 

Dad smiles. “I gathered. The nurse says you’ve got some kind of bug.” 

I nod, and my head spins. 

“She’s awake then?” I hear from Madam Cherie, and I suddenly want to go back to sleep. But no, she’s zooming towards me, medicine in tow. “Wonderful. Open wide!” 

Dutifully opening my mouth ready to swallow what I can only describe as crap-tasting nonsense, I notice Scorpius sneaking in and hiding in Madam Cherie’s office. Ooh. I wonder what he’s doing here... perhaps someone finally told him that there’s a potion for being a smartass. 

Oh, Rose! So cruel. 

Secretly, I’m laughing. 

In fact, I laugh a bit out loud, and choke on the violet potion Madam Cherie is pouring down my throat. Mum frowns sympathetically. Oh no. I know what that means. 

As Madam Cherie bustles away in the vague direction of her office – I hope Scorpius has a good hiding place – Mum begins The Speech. 

“Rose, you know I’m worried,” she says in a concerned sort of voice, “But I have an awful lot of work—“ 

“—and you know I’ll be fine,” I finish for her, and smile. Well, I try to. I think I may look as if my lips are glued together. “I know, mum. You can go.” 

Mum hesitates, but she’s clearly about to dash off. Placing a kiss on my forehead, she stands up, kissing dad on the cheek and leaving. It’s kind of nice, how predictable she is. It’s always nice to know she’ll do the same thing – even if it doesn’t sit right the first few times. I remember in first year I got hit in the head with a bludger and then cried when she left. 

Although she did take care of me – James visibly cringes when he sees bludgers now, because it brings back memories of her yelling at him for over an hour. When mum gets going, it’s almost impossible to stop her. 

Dad relaxed back into his chair and propped his feet up on mum’s vacated seat. 

“So, what’s been happening, kiddo?” he asks. 

Ah, dad. So awkward, so redheaded, so dependable. I inherited so much of him it’s scary. 

“I got on the Quidditch team,” I croak, “We’re going to win this year.” 

He laughs. “I know! If Gryffindor ever lose again it’ll be when you leave, Rosie.” 

Let me make one thing clear: only dad can call me Rosie. Anyone else is immediately classed as Enemy. 

But when dad does it, it’s just like it’s been since I learnt to talk as a toddler. You see, I’m really still the two year old who ran out in front of the Burrow chasing chickens and skinned my knee. And the five year old who achieved her first magical feat by making a toilet explode in the Muggle school mum insisted both Hugo and I attended, and consequently was dubbed ‘toilet queen’ by James. 

Ah, James. A constant source of irritation from the moment I learned that he would be in my life pretty much every day. He went to the same school I did and irritated me there, he was around my house every other day irritating me there, and to top it all off he’s at my magic school irritating me. 


I notice Madam Cherie sneaking out of her office – it must be two o’clock. Two o’clock is proven to be the least busy time of the day, and is also the time Madam Cherie sneaks out of the hospital wing to go and do whatever she does with her lesbian lover. Hey, whatever. I’m only DESPERATELY SICK here. 

But anyway. As she leaves, dad stands up and offers me a lopsided grin. 

“Sorry, Rosie,” he begins, and I know that dad is also going to follow his routine. “I’ve got to get back to work. I was supposed to be back two hours ago.” 

I laugh weakly, cough and give up. Oh, for crying out loud. 

He looks at me with sympathy. 

“Bye, dad,” I croak out, “Love you.” 

He gives me a mildly awkward hug – well, my head spins if I sit up, okay? – and trundles off. 

Ach. Now I’m alone until Madam Cherie gets here. Which will be a while, as five o’clock is peak time and I don’t expect her to be back much earlier than that. 

No! I’m wrong. Scorpius’ gorgeous head pokes out from her office. I smile to myself, and he turns and grins back. 

No, I’m wrong again. It’s more of a smirk. And a damn gorgeous one at that. 

“Weasley, Weasley, Weasley,” he sighs, sauntering over in that wonderful way he alone can manage to do while looking edible. 

Merlin, I am loosing it. Whatever ‘it’ is. 

“Hmmn?” I reply, because it’s pretty much all I feel I can say without choking. 

“The flu?” he questions, waving around one of those little green slips – the ones sent to every teacher to notify them their pupil is ill, and not just skiving off the lesson. “That’s so cliché.” 

I glare at him. “Well sorry if my illness is too—“ Cue coughing fit. An impressive one, too. I hack away at my lungs for a good two minutes, and then croak, “...cliché for you.” 

“Sorry, Weaslet,” Scorpius apologizes, “Thought you were faking.” 

He pulls dads chair closer to the gurney I’m on and plops down into it, putting his feet up on the crappy bed. 

“Go ahead,” I rasp sarcastically, “Make yourself at home.” 

He rolls his eyes, and doesn’t move. Fixing his gaze on me, he frowns. 

“You look bad.” 

Gee, thanks. I say this – okay, I manage ‘-anks’ since I’m sure my throat is closing up – and he laughs. 

And I melt. 

Well, not really, but my knees feel like jelly. That could be the medicine, though. 

“So, Rose, I guess you can’t talk much. Shame. I’ll have to do it for us, then. I think I’ll tell a story.” 

Hey, not cool. I try to protest but – surprise surprise – fail and cough a bit more. 


Scorpius was always rubbish at telling stories. Either he laughed too much while telling them, or forgot the ending and made me and Livi grumpy in the process. 

“Once upon a time there was a boy and a girl. One was insane – that was the girl – and was also conveniently enough from a family of strange and wondrous people. For the purpose of this tale, let’s call her Rose. 

“The boy was very handsome. His family were mainly maniacs or gits or both, and so he decided not to be called anything as anything they named him was bound to be rubbish. Unfortunately for him, his family did name him, and we shall have to use that name – Scorpius. 

“Now, Rose and Scorpius were two very different people. Rose was thrilled to be going to big school, whereas Scorpius was shitting a brick just thinking about it. Luckily enough for them, September arrived bloody fast, and before they could breathe or think about it too much they were bundled onto a big red train of death.” 

Not melodramatic at all, hey Scorp. He’s better at story telling than I remember. Although the last time he told me a story was quite a while ago...
Scorpius folds his hands behind his head and leans back, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Scorpius sat in a compartment on his own, alone and frightened, until someone with a rather sweet kitten rudely interrupted his being terrified. It was Rose, the mad one, and she brought with her a strange sense of happiness and a secret supply of chocolate frogs. They both gorged themselves on chocolate and another weird little girl joined in. Let’s call her, say, Olivia. 

“She was also crazy, but we forgave her for that because she had cupcakes. As we all know, cupcakes are the route of love—“ 

Really? I must buy some. 

“—and so she joined the small group.” 

Scorpius pauses, and does some ominous gazing at the ceiling. After a while, I get bored and kick him. If I can’t talk, he has to. 

“Quiet in the cheap seats! Anyway... They all got to Hogwarts fine, and then they were sorted into different bloody houses. Rose and Olivia, being of the mad kind, went into the craziest house they could manage – Gryffindor. Unfortunately for Scorpius he was sane, and so he was sorted into Slytherin. 

“This is where I get fed up with the story, because it gets really shit. Scorpius got bullied because he was a scrawny git who spent half his time with Gryffindors, and Rose and Livi were loved by everyone because they were mad and everyone loved mad people. 

“In fact, everyone still loves them now. But no one loved poor little Scorpius,” Scorpius himself sighed and fidgeted, trying to get comfortable. Tough luck, because the hospital wing chairs were uncomfortable, to encourage you to leave. “In fact, no one even understood why he was friends with a Weasley. I mean, our parents were rivals.”
“Nuhhy,” I disagree, “I liked you!” 

Scorpius pauses briefly from his staring at the ceiling to smile at me. 

“Thanks,” he says softly, and then goes back to telling his fabulous story. “So people start to pick on Scorpius because of that, too. Scorpius never used to be very violent, but he suddenly starts punching people. And one day, he breaks someone’s nose. His dad gets called into school, and he’s given a freaking anger management lesson. So he starts using his wand instead, and hey, that works. He struggles through the next year, and the one after that, failing at charms and winning some vague victories in flying lessons. 

“The next piece of shit that happens is that when the second year is over, and Rose, Livi and Scorpius say goodbye to each other, and suddenly Scorpius is cornered by his father, who demands to know why I’m talking to a Weasley, of all people. I always thought I could talk to whoever I wanted, but apparently not. So he’s given a stern talking to, and then he goes home for the worst part of the year: the summer holidays. Six unadulterated weeks of time spent with his parents. Hell. 

“At first it’s okay, because he has regular letters from both Rose and Olivia to keep him alive. Totally not crazy, or worse. But then his father finds the letters and threatens to take him out of Hogwarts if he doesn’t stop talking to the Weasley’s and co. Scorpius, who loves Hogwarts, is worried and so he stops sending letters. After a while, Rose and Livi stop sending them too. 

“This is the part where Scorpius goes crazy because his mother keeps asking him if he’s ever going to get a good wife and his father keeps sending him dirty looks. Scorpius gets rather bitter about the whole not-being-friends-with-Weasley’s fiasco, especially when his father tells him if he ever makes friends with a Weasley he’ll be withdrawn from Hogwarts, pronto. 

“When Scorpius gets onto the red train of death for his third year, he doesn’t sit with Rose and Livi. He hides in the toilets for the entire journey, and then dashes onto the last carriage when he’s sure they’ve left for the feast. He sits with his back to them, and then shuns them. He feels like shit and he’s pretty sure he looks like an idiot. 

“He doesn’t sleep well, and the next day he shrugs them off like they were just anyone. He’s being a complete twat, and he knows it. But he loves Hogwarts, and he doesn’t want to be home schooled because any more time with his parents would make him into some kind of gun-wielding psychopath. 

“So he acts like he doesn’t care, and he starts irritating Rose by encouraging this weirdo, Marius, to ask her out. He knows she doesn’t like him, and he decides it would be funny to get close to Rose by irritating her. He wouldn’t be friends with her, but he would be close to her. They are in the same classes after all, and he likes the sound of her voice. 

“It’s all terrifically sad, and somehow he finds himself telling the whole thing to the other character in the story, who appears to have fallen asleep.” 

Nonsense. I’m resting my eyes. But there’s no way I’m about to interrupt his story, because it’s kind of... sweet. 

“But for what it’s worth, Rose grew up to be the most beautiful girl in the world, married some guy who liked her for her last name, and had many kids before dying in perfect happiness. Ditto with Olivia. But Scorpius grew old alone, miserably bound to his father’s ways. Maybe one day he’d tell her this story, she’d fall asleep and he’d wonder why he was such a monumental idiot. Get well soon, Rose.” 

The weight of his legs leaves my bed, and I hear him walk away. When I’m sure he’s gone I turn onto my side, sigh, and go to sleep. Properly. 

Back from the hols! Feedback muchos appreciated =)


Chapter 21: Signed?
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Hello, sweethearts =) This is a shorter chapter than usual (hold fire!) but it's kind of a catalyst for the rest of the story, so put down your pitchforks! Let's have a pleasant interlude from Scorpius =)

Scorpius POV

I drum my fingers on the desk, ignoring Scarlett’s pointed gaze. At the front of the classroom, Professor Bell is attacking someone’s splotchy essay with a horrified expression.

“... inadequate length... blah blah blah no keywords... my first years do better than this...”

I admit, I have zoned out. Long ago.

But how can anyone expect me to concentrate whilst Rose is in the hospital wing? I wouldn’t be so bothered, but –

Actually, I would be bothered. She’s in the hospital wing, the hospital wing, the hospital wing. With flu. It’s not the end of the world, but I miss her. And we were getting on so well.

It’s been a whole five days since she fell asleep listening to me talk crap. And I left the hospital wing feeling depressed and hemmed in by my parents, and that mood hasn’t lifted.

The letter I received from my father this morning did not help. Fishing it out of my pocket, I smooth it out of its crumpled ball and re-read it, again.


I’m hearing that you’re failing Charms, the simplest of all lessons. Must you always fail me? Correct this mistake immediately.


Draco Malfoy.

Signed? Signed? I’m his fucking son, not one of his business clients. I deserve more than signed. I’ve slogged through almost seventeen long years of his stupid name and everything that comes attached to the stupid thing, and I get signed?

And the pompous question. He wasn’t perfect, by rights my failing charms was tiny compared to his massive mistakes. But I wasn’t about to remind him of that. Or anyone else – I’d fought long and hard to not end up like him, and I didn’t need to remind anyone that being ‘The Death Eater’s Son’ wasn’t cool.

How the hell does he even know I’m failing?

Professor Bell was still berating the idiot’s mistakes to us. I was sure that whoever wrote the thing now regretted having continued this class.

How on earth did they get into this class anyway if they couldn’t spell ‘werewolf’?

“Scorpius,” Scarlett hisses at me, “We need to talk.”

Great. She’s not even my real girlfriend and she’s still terrifying me with those words.

The bell rings, startling Professor Bell from her rant. She swears as she realises we’ve done no work at all because of her rant.

“I want two feet of parchment filled with an essay on why I should ever bother teaching you again,” she barks at us, angrily throwing a spare quill at a dart board she has hanging behind her desk. I would complain, but she’d probably rip my head off. And then stamp on it.

I wouldn’t put it past her.

Scarlett takes my hand, carefully dragging me through the crowds of people heading towards their next lesson into the classroom across the hallway. Bursting through the door, we find two guilty-looking forth years. One of them is blonde and female, with a long plait and rosy cheeks. The other is brunette and also female, but with an impressive afro and doe eyes. They look very innocent, which means they’ve been doing something against the rules.

I swear the blonde one just hid something behind her back.

“Out!” Scarlett orders. As they file past us, she holds out a hand and gestures at the blonde kid. “Give.” I won’t lie, Scarlett can be scary, and when rules are broken by someone, she knows immediately who to corner and bully into confessing.

Looking sullen and embarrassed, the girl reaches her hand towards Scarlett and drops a bag of mulchy-type stuff into her waiting hand. No way.

“Is that...” I breathe, not daring to say the word out loud in case it’s not. Because then I would look like an idiot. Hey, I’m not trying to be unpopular.

Scarlett’s lips are rapidly disappearing and turning instead into one straight line, and her eyes are narrowing. If this is what I think it is, this girl and her friend are in huge trouble. Trouble even I, in all my Malfoy ‘glory’, cannot imagine.

“Sit down,” Scarlett hisses, and both of the girls hastily perch on chairs. Oh yeah, they should be scared. “What,” she continues, somehow sounding more venomous the more she speaks, “Is this?”

They fidget. The blonde nudges the brunette, she brunette looks at Scarlett, and then back to the blonde, scared.

“It’s an ingredient,” she volunteers unhappily, crossing her arms in defiance, “For a potion.”

“Which potion?” Scarlett counters sharply, and the two girls do some more shifting around nervously.

“Polyjuice Potion?” the blonde randomly picks out. Perhaps she’s hoping Scarlett won’t have heard of it. Tough luck, kid.

Scarlett begins to go red in the face. I could step in, but... Well, it’s more fun to let her shout at them than have her shout at me for not letting me shout at them. Ultimately she may shout in my vicinity, but not at me.

So I win.


As Scarlett opens her mouth and starts to let rip, I see someone wandering down the hall in that kind of ‘sod it, I’m already late’ dawdle-ling mood. I realise, as my ears start bruising from the inside out, it’s Rose.

She’s free!

Free from the clutches of that freakishly tall nurse and all her medicine! Free from the bed that I put my feet on! Free from the endless hours of hell that is the Hospital Wing!

Oh shit. Isn’t this the girl I told my life story to, just a while ago?

I’ve got to hide. No, I’ve got to go say hi!

No, hide! She might be laughing at me.

But what if she isn’t laughing, she’s crying, and I’m not there to save her from her misery?

I am now staring after her through the little window pane in the door. She’s going to vanish from view in a minute, and then I won’t be able to catch her before she tells everyone my dad’s psychopathic, and that I enjoy telling innocent girls terrifying life stories I may have experienced.

Not that everyone doesn’t already know bits of it, of course. Just remind me what I am?

Oh, yeah. A Death-Eater’s son.

Not only that, I have delusions that a Hero’s daughter may one day fall in love with me. And I’m failing charms.

Fuck it.

Pulling open the door and dashing out quickly to avoid Scarlett’s wrath at me leaving her to scream herself stupid, I start walking briskly after the heroine of my tale.

Vaguely from behind me, I hear something that sounds like:

“Scorpius Malfoy I am SO going to kill you later!”

But Scarlett may have said:

“Scorpius Malfoy I think you’re a lovely person and I will never harm you.”

Yeah, I can believe that. Not.

“Rose!” I call, and the redheaded beauty turns around, looking surprised. Her face breaks into a smile.

Rose POV

Problem 29: I’m out of the hospital wing.

This should not be a problem. In fact, this should be a blessing. The hospital wing is proven to be the most boring place on Earth, and so by all means I should be running from the doors with a triumphant cheer. I swear Lily did, when she was discharged two whole days ago, leaving me all by myself, bar for a measly half hour a day when absolutely everyone – including Marius, and Hugo – came to wish me well. Or sing me a love song, if you’re Marius.

“Glad you’re back, Rose,” someone says to me, and it takes me a moment to realise it’s Fergus Thomas, my bassist for the Halloween Ball. The bell went a good five minutes ago, but he’s in no rush. Fergus doesn’t rush; he’s always cool, calm and collected.

“Thanks, Fergus,” I reply, smiling.

It’s a Friday. I’ve been in the hospital wing a whole five days, and the rehearsal is tomorrow. Our first rehearsal as a band. Blimey.

Of course I was up all night learning the songs – not. I’m lucky I bought a few pages of lyrics, otherwise I’d be really in trouble. I mean, I’m generally a workaholic when it comes to music. If there was a magical music class, I’d be its nerd.

Not saying I’m not a nerd anyway. I totally am.

Especially when Caspar comes into play. Study buddies? Hell yes.

As I walk down the corridor, I realise I was deluded thinking it’s really, really early. I thought it was six in the morning early. There would have been a slim chance that Caspar might be awake, but apart from that, no one I knew would have been up at this time. Perhaps Madam Cherie, because she just kicked me out, but apart from that – no one. Really.

But joy of joys, it’s more like ten o’clock, and everyone has just started their third lesson of the day. I could venture into the class late, but it’s Transfiguration. There are two reasons I refuse to go to this class late: a) Professor Chang is looking increasingly on the cusp of a spectacular mental breakdown since the disappearance of her long-term boyfriend, and b) Scorpius isn’t in it.

So I’m facing an hour alone, perhaps in the library or the Common Room. But I bet the Fat Lady would rat me out for skiving one of my lessons.

Changing my direction, I begin to wander aimlessly towards the library. I have nothing to do, and it looks like a good plan to me.

All the classrooms in this part of the castle are pretty busy. I hear laughing pupils in one, and what I assume is an irate teacher yelling at some kids – something about potions unrelated to substances? It’s pretty loud.

I’m about to turn the corner and head down the corridor towards the library when a voice calls my name.

Crap! Some teacher’s found me.

I turn round, my ‘surprised and innocent’ face firmly in place, already thinking of an excuse.

I think ‘I got lost’ is a bit dumb now, considering I’m a Seventh year.

But thankfully, it’s not a teacher. Just when I was preparing myself for a whole hour alone, without any sort of social interaction, here he is.

I feel my face break into a relieved smile.


Ah, yes, my knight in shining armour. And I am the damsel in amore.

Sort of.

Striding up with the kind of gorgeous smile I can only adore, he stops just short of me. There’s a minor awkward pause where we both flounder about what to say.

Well, what can I say? ‘Thanks for pouring your heart out to me the other day, it really passed the time’?

Luckily, I don’t have to say anything, because at that point Scorpius takes the plunge and presses his lips to mine.


Talk to me. Little box likes being fed =)

Chapter 22: Ooh, narrow stairs
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I own... nothing you recognise, I guess =)








Problem 30: Just before I close my eyes to focus on the fact SCORPIUS IS KISSING ME, I spy James turning the corner towards us.




He has his head buried in a book, but I’m sure I’ll make a noise soon, so I grab the front of Scorpius’ shirt and drag him into the nearest door, shutting it behind me swiftly. It’s a broom cupboard. Oh, how cliché.




“Weasley, I didn’t think you cared,” he says sarcastically. I shove him further into the cupboard, and crouch down to pear through the keyhole. James is walking towards this door, looking suspicious.




“Shit!” I swear, and pull out my wand. Aiming through the small and unhelpful keyhole, I whisper as quietly as I can: “Inclino illacus.”




Scorpius is now grumbling softly to himself; something about being bloody right when he called someone mad. I shush him and watch as James shrugs and heads off the other direction. Oh thank Merlin, my crazed spell worked.




As I sigh and stand up, Scorpius comes closer.




“Is this something to do with your stay in the hospital wing, or should I be worried?” he asks. I can’t quite work out whether he’s serious or not. My lips are tingling. I wish he’d kiss me again.




“No, it’s something to do with my family,” I reply.




“Great. So it’s not just you, your whole family is nuts?” Scorpius raises an eyebrow.




“I’m not mad!” I protest, glaring at him.




“You just threw me into a cupboard, cursed someone through the keyhole—“




“It was James! He would have given us detention for a month!”




Again, Scorpius rolls his eyes. Taking a step closer, he reaches a hand past my shoulder and pushes experimentally on the door. It doesn’t budge.




Oh shit.




I lean backwards onto the door, and nothing happens. I push against it – hey, I’m not light. I mean, I’m not fat – Caspar wouldn’t let me down enough lovely calories for that, being a health freak – but I am most certainly no Victoire and the door still isn’t moving.




Scorpius curses. I think about joining in, but I don’t think it’ll serve much purpose. Sliding down the wall, I slowly descend into a sitting position, my legs spread into ‘I’ll be here a while’ mode. Scorpius sits down too, and looks grumpy.




“Scarlett’s going to kill me,” he groans, putting his head in his hands, “And then dig me up, kill me again, burn me and dance on the ashes.”




“No she won’t,” I say nicely, “She’s not going to dig through dirt and ruin her clothes for you.”




Scorpius smirks. “She will, I’m definitely worth it.”




I raise my eyebrows. “Really?”




Scorpius shrugs. “Enough about my death. How was the hospital wing?”




“Much better now I’m out of it,” I reply. I’m vaguely edging towards him, I realise, so I sit on my hands. I could really do with another kiss right now.




Sod it.




Before Scorpius has a chance to protest, I scoot over and nestle myself into the gap by him, resting my head on his shoulder. He doesn’t protest at all, instead slipping an arm around my waist. He smells delicious.




“You smell really nice,” I blurt out without thinking. Scorpius laughs.




“Thank you. You smell good, too,” he says in that smirk-y tone of voice. I love that tone of voice. “I missed you, Rose.”




“Really?” Geez, way to sound eager. “When?”




“Since I stopped talking to you, I guess,” Scorpius sounds thoughtful. I can’t tell, because I can’t see his face from my current angle, but I reckon he’s doing an adorable frown-y face. I want to kiss him.




Not that that’s in anyway related to his frown-y face. Mainly it’s related to him in general.





After a few moments of sitting in silence, Scorpius picks me up like I’m Victoire-light and replaces me between his legs, so I’m sitting with my back against his chest.




I’m pretty sure I’m about to wake up in the hospital wing now. Because something this good just doesn’t happen in reality – soon, I’ll realise this is all a dream, and my blissful bubble will be burst.




“Scorpius?” I question.









“Are you real?”




“Yes. I’m quite sure I’m real. Hang on, I’ll check.” He’s blatantly laughing at me. I can feel his chest moving up and down as he sniggers. He pokes himself in the arm a couple of times, and then pokes the back of my head, for good measure. “I have conducted detailed studies into the matter, Rose, and I can only conclude that not only am I real, you are too.”




“Hahaha,” I say sarcastically, “Hysterically funny. That was a genuine query, for your information, and I have decided that you’re not real and this is a dream.”




“How can I persuade you otherwise?” Scorpius doesn’t sound bothered that he’s a figment of my imagination. In fact, he sounds highly amused. Some might say he sounds really amused.




Oh dear, Rose, that was the worst pun EVER.




While I’m considering how to convince fake-Scorpius that he’s not real whilst also letting him try to persuade me otherwise, Scorpius brushes my hair to one side and starts kissing the side of my jawbone.




It feels really, really good.




As in, I don’t really want him to stop. Ever.




But, unfortunately, he stops after leaving one final, lingering kiss. “So, how can I persuade you that I’m a real person?” he asks again.




There’s a pause. It is meant to be a small pause while I decide what to ask, but it starts to grow until Scorpius feels the need to nudge me.




“Kiss me?” I try.




It works.



Gently, he turns my head with his hand and tilts my head upwards, bringing his lips down on mine. The door swings open behind us.




“Weasley! Malfoy!” barks Professor Bell, “What on Earth are you doing?”




Okay, now I know it’s real.




Scorpius breaks the kiss before you can say ‘oh crap’, and gets to his feet, holding out a hand to help me up. I smile at his chivalry and take the hand, pulling myself to my feet. I keep the hand. You never know when you may need a hand.




“I don’t know why you’re smirking, Weasley,” Professor Bell snipes, and my face assumes the ‘I realise I am in huge trouble but I’m a good student so please let me off easy’ face. “Follow me, you two.”




She turns and starts marching, and we have no choice to follow. Scorpius puts his lips to my ear.




“That face won’t work,” he whispers. I hit him with our intertwined hands, trying not to laugh.




Besides, it totally does work. Sometimes.




Professor Bell leads us in a hugely irritating detour, a huge loop, and ends up outside the Headmaster’s office. I gulp. Really? For snogging in a cupboard?




She sighs loudly, as if she’s about to do something terrible. “Violets are blue,” she hisses under her breath. I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing. Professor Bell was once a happy, chirpy person who believed in romance – slushy poems included. I guess finding out your fiancé is gay puts a damper on the wedding plans. She found out whilst I was a mere third year, and since then she’s sort of hardened – like something going stale. She doesn’t like romance much anymore. It’s tragic on many levels.




Anyway, the gargoyle moves over and we all get onto the stairs. Unfortunately, the stairs are really narrow, because they had to be rebuilt after the Great War, about the time when everyone was paranoid because it had been so nice for a few months. Hence, they’re so narrow, so evil bad guys can’t get through them two at a time.




Because that’s really going to stop wizards and witches. They’re magic. They can blow stuff up.




The narrowness places me in front of Scorpius, and the holding hands business gets awkward. After giving my hand a squeeze, Scorpius drops it. I suddenly don’t feel so positive about this whole escapade.




In fact, some people may say I am scared of being told off.




Not true.





Okay, true.




But enough of that. Emerging through the narrow door – ooh, I bet ol’ Voldy couldn’t get through that! – I see two things.




Firstly, there’s Professor MacMillan, looking tired.




Secondly, there seems to be a tall black guy in the middle of the room, grumbling.




Professor Bell clears her throat, and both men jump a little and look at us. Black guy looks surprised at our entrance, Professor MacMillan looks relieved.




“Rose! Scorpius! Thank goodness you’re here! Mr Zabini here—“ Oh my Merlin this must be Scarlett’s dad. I wonder if he’s also so bloody perceptive? “—wishes to speak with Scarlett.”




I nod. Right. Why are we here, then?





Professor Bell clears her throat again. Coming down with a cold? “What your headmaster means to say is Scarlett is not showing up. We can’t find her.”




Oh, just spiffing. Wonderful.





“And you want us too...” I say, tailing off and hoping he’ll reply ‘go eat a muffin and congratulate yourself on being awesome’.




“Find her, of course!” Mr Zabini growls, “This is urgent! I was only supposed to have an hour off!”




I roll my eyes and turn to leave. Scorpius shrugs and follows me.




As we re-enter the real world from the narrow staircase – evil proof, honest – Scorpius takes my hand again.




“Do you know what you missed while you were busy being ill?” he asks. I shake my head.




“Nope. Something exploding?” I guess. I bet it was Livi. Her, of perhaps one of my many relatives?




Scorpius laughs. “No, you missed my tutoring! How am I going to pass charms now?”




He nudges me with his elbow. I smile at him. “You’ll be fine. Any idea where Scarlett will be?”





Scorpius shrugs again. “She doesn’t like her dad much – her brother—“




“She has a brother?” I exclaim, “I never knew she had a brother!”




Scorpius raises his eyebrows and continues speaking. “Her brother is a squib, and Mr Zabini’s mum is very pureblood, so he’s hushed up. Scarlett doesn’t like him for giving into his mother so easily. I dunno, I’ve met the lady and she’s pretty terrifying. Scarlett’s the only one who stands up against her, I think. So Scarlett probably saw her dad and pissed off to hide somewhere – where are you going?”




I’m walking up the stairs to the third floor. “Ar-oh-ar, Scorpius!” I reply helpfully. When he looks baffled, I add, “Room of Requirement.”




“The what now?” he questions, still looking confused but following anyway.




“You know, the room we were in for the Dares Festival!” I explain.




“Before you took all your clothes off?” He smirks. I scowl.




“You make that sound worse than it was.”




He laughs and plants a kiss on my cheek. Ah, he is forgiven.




We continue up to the specific part of corridor the Room of Requirement is supposed to be located in – though I swear it’s appeared in other places – and I do some determined marching.




I would like to find Scarlett.




I would like to find the place Scarlett is hiding in.




I would like to find Scarlett Zabini.




I would like to say hello to Scarlett.




Bingo! A small door appears in the wall. And I do mean small. I reckon I might get through if I crawled.





“Fuck,” Scorpius says helpfully, “That’s a small door.”





I shoot him a ‘no way, dumbass’ look, and crouch down to open the mini-door.




It opens into a tunnel about an inch wider than the door.




Oh, why me?





Swallowing whatever pride it is I have after all these years, I get onto my hands and knees and start to crawl, head tucked down.




I hope my bum doesn’t look big.





Oh Merlin! Scorpius is going to crawl in after me and see my bum for ages until we arrive somewhere!








This sucks.




The tunnel gets darker and lighter, smaller and larger and various types of stone as we progress.




“Rose,” hisses Scorpius from behind me after a particularly jagged stretch of crawling, “I’m pretty sure it would be better to say we can’t find her. I’m bleeding.”




“I’m not going back now!” I hiss in reply, “I’ve sustained far too many injuries and fucked up my hair – we’re in this to the bitter end!”




He huffs, but we still continue plodding along.




After a few days, we reach another door.




It might have been hours, though.




Or minutes.




I push the door open cautiously, fearing even more tunnel. Instead, I find myself crawling into a tall, long room. In the centre there is a long strip of swimming pool, in which Scarlett is steadily doing laps, her mascara and eyeliner halfway down her cheeks.




“Go away,” she says softly, still pushing through the water.




Instead of leaving, I clamber out of the tunnel, stand up and peel off most of my clothes. When I’m in nothing but my bra and pants – which are green today, if you wanted to know – I slide into the water and start following Scarlett up and down the pool. She doesn’t protest.




The water’s warm, but Scarlett’s shoulder’s are shuddering. It takes me a moment to realise that she’s crying. When we reach the nearest end, she stops swimming and just stands. I stop by her and wrap my arms around her wet body. She cries on my shoulder. Scorpius is looking awkward, sitting in a handy chair in the corner. I send him a pointed look. He shrugs.




Geez, would it be that hard to be helpful?




He holds up his left hand, and it’s all gored up. Ew. That must be from the tunnel.




After a moment, Scarlett disentangles herself from me and takes a deep breath.




“Sorry about the tunnel,” she murmurs.




I hold up my scratched hands. “Nice deterrent, I guess. Nice time, can I have some gloves though?”




She manages a weak laugh. “No, but I will grant you a different tunnel,” she says, and then pauses. “I love this room. It knows what I want.”




“It knows what you require,” I correct. Scorpius scoffs.




“No one requires a killer tunnel,” he says sarcastically, “Especially not complete with swimming pool.”




“Screw you, loser,” Scarlett shoots back. Climbing out of the pool, she picks a towel from the pile that has miraculously appeared and goes to lie on a sun lounger. It’s funny what this room creates when you ask nicely. I follow her lead, but decide, after wrapping myself in a fluffy white towel, to sit on Scorpius and get him all soggy. I feel he deserves it in some way. He doesn’t seem to mind anyway, and kisses my jaw. I think my knees just disappeared.




“Are you going to tell me about why your dad wanted us to find you, Scar?” I ask tentatively, trying not to melt into a towel full of goo.




Scarlett sighs, putting on some large round sunglasses. “Daniel wants to leave home, father wants me to stop him from leaving home because he’s a Squib and Grandmother thinks he’s an embarrassment.”




“Ouch,” Scorpius comments lightly.




Scarlett swipes at her eyes under the black glasses. “And of course he comes running to me, because he can’t fucking stand up to her on his own, he has to have me there to be the one she hates. Daniel likes me because I give a shit, not because he hates dad, but dad can’t see that because Grandmother is wrapped around him so tightly! I wish he’d grow a fucking backbone!” She hiccups, and continues. “He thinks he can come marching up to school and drag me out whenever he likes because he’s so Pureblood and special, but he’s not! He’s just a worm Grandmother’s using to catch some more of her stupid traditions and wave them in my face!” She finished her rant, and then, almost too softly to hear, mumbled; “I’m not his fucking dog.”




“You’re right,” I agree, “You’re definitely not a dog.”




Hey, don’t hate me, I suck at miserable times.




Besides, Scorpius is distracting me.




“And it’s really fucked up, because every guy I like he threatens, and I haven’t ever had a proper boyfriend because they all get scared and leave,” she carries on. She’s sniffing almost every other word, and those same words are getting more clogged with what I can only describe as pain. It looks like its Scarlett’s ‘let’s tell someone everything because my life actually sucks’ day. “And when they leave, dad reminds me that they’ll never be good enough. That’s why dating you was so good, Scorp – you didn’t give a shit about him, even if you couldn’t care less about me.”




Scorpius went to protest, but Scarlett started again. “And I totally don’t blame you, because I don’t really care for you that way, but I need someone. I keep telling people who they should be with, and why, but I can’t even work up the guts to tell the boy I like that he’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.” A tear is working its way down Scarlett’s face. She’s still wearing her sunglasses. “I love him so much but he’ll never know because he doesn’t need to be involved in my fucked-up pantomime life. I need someone who won’t freak out when my dad threatens to torture them if they ever hurt me, someone who’ll understand if I need to drop everything to go help my brother run away for a while, someone who’ll still give a shit when I come back. Oh, fuck.”




She removes the sunglasses and rubs at her eyes furiously, smudging make-up and tears everywhere.




I can’t resist. “Who is it?” I ask. Well, she’s always busy knowing my business.




There’s a long pause. Indeed, it’s so long I’m about to ask her again, or throw something at her.




“Albus Potter.”














Oooft, I would... like you to write a review. Pleasums?



I need to send a big ol' thank you to GetDownAndStopTheSmallTalk, Angelina Ze Insightful, a rollerball, ramitaarora, KRedden, The Blunt Phoenix, marciabarcia (a special thanks to you, Marcia, for always leaving a lovely review, no matter the chapter!), Hermionniny9, and loonylongbottom. You all wrote gorgeous reviews for the previous chapter, and I take my hat off to you for that.



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Chapter 23: What's a 'WonWon'?
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Problem 31: What is it with people finding my family attractive?


I mean, it’s hard not to have fancied at least one of the, because they’re freaking everywhere, but really. Why?


I know Albus is lovely, and I’m sure he’s got many qualities, but...


I dunno.




I look at Scorpius. He doesn’t seem at all bothered by Scarlett’s proclamation.


In fact, he’s nodding in encouragement. I pull a ‘WTF’ face, which he ignores.


“How long?” I ask. Okay, I may be mildly sneer-y about this whole ‘isn’t Albus lovely’ business, but I’m still nosey. So I’m allowed to ask. Right?


“Three years, and counting,” Scarlett replies, “How long for you?”


“Five years, and counting,” I concede, “But I win, I guess, because I got to date other guys. They might have all sucked and been huge disappointments, but they taught me to snog.”


“Wow, I feel good about myself now,” Scarlett says, and turns to glare at me, taking off her sunglasses to do so. “I’m so pleased you stole the boy I’ve being fucking.”


Ooh. Low blow. I suck in a breath.


“Wow, Scarlett, I’m so pleased you’re so in touch with yourself you can build up the confidence to ask a guy out,” I shoot back. My patience is waning. The scratches on my hands are painful.


“Hey, ladies—“Scorpius starts, but is cut off by Scarlett. This could get nasty.


“Ask him out?” she shrieks, sitting bolt upright, “I’m asking him to fuck up his life, get death threats in the morning post, get screamed at by most of my family! I’m not being as selfish as you, so what? At least I haven’t condemned the boy I love!”


“I would never condemn someone I love!” I yell back, leaping off Scorpius’ lap to better amplify my voice. “Maybe if they loved you back they’d be willing to sacrifice that!”


“What, you really think Albus Potter, son of Harry Potter, Slytherin hater extraordinaire—“


“He doesn’t hate Slytherins! He’s never said a bad word about you!”


“Oh but James has!”


Silence falls.


Okay, so James is the one with an intolerance for green. And he’s not afraid to say so, either – house unity my arse.


“Okay,” Scorpius says in a firm voice, coming round from behind me, “Enough. Both of you. Apologize.”


I stare at him blankly. Scarlett does too. He gives us both a pointed look, and holds up three fingers.


“One...” he begins counting, “Two... If I get to three I remind you I’m the only one with a wand on me... Th—“


“I’m sorry,” we blurt out together.


Scorpius seems satisfied. Turning to Scarlett, he holds out his arms in a ‘I’m about to make everything you worry about seem insignificant’ manner.


“You’re not a whore and Albus Potter isn’t a complete idiot. Your dad isn’t that unreasonable, and your brother needs you right now, so I suggest you crawl through that tunnel and get your arse to Professor MacMillan pronto.”


Scarlett, surprisingly, just pouts and gets on with it. She is still in her damp swimming costume. As she disappears through a door – oh for crying out loud, there is a freaking door – Scorpius turns to me. I start backing away.


“I don’t want to hear it,” I say firmly, “Don’t analyse me.”


Scorpius grins. “You think everything is about to go badly –“


“Stop right there! I’m very happy, look!” I smile as widely as I can. He laughs.


“You’re beautiful,” he says softly.


Ego boosts feel lovely.


“So are you,” I reply, stepping forwards again. Forget backing away, I want to kiss him again.


And again.


And then maybe some more.


I need to get a life.


Scorpius places a hand on my jaw. “We should probably get back to class,” he murmurs.


“Yeah,” I agree, “We should.”


Hahahahaha, screw that! I’m happy here, thanks.


Scorpius leans in slowly and kisses the side of my mouth. I love it when he kisses me.


Well, it kind of comes with the package. The package being loving him, I guess.


He leans back again. Oh, that makes me sad.


“No, seriously,” he announces, “I’m already in detention tonight for forgetting a Charms essay.”


I raise an eyebrow, but start to collect my clothes anyway. “Charms? How could you forget your favourite lesson?”


Ahh, sarcasm. I’ve missed you.


Scorpius snorts. “How indeed. It was your fault anyway; I was preoccupied telling you my life story.”


It’s my turn to laugh. “Excuses, excuses. We all know the truth.” The last part is muffled behind my jumper, but I think he gets the picture.


Now dressed, I take his hand and lead him to the door. Pushing it open with my free hand, we’re confronted by a crowd of people, all pushing to get to their next lesson. We’re quickly swallowed up by the rabble, and end up pushing our way through them to our next lesson – Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid.


Hagrid should have retired at the end of the war, but instead he continued teaching. Something to do with his giant blood, I think, means he doesn’t seem to be bothered by this little thing called time.


Wandering slowly to the lesson, I wonder why Scorpius kissed me.


I decide not to wonder, but just be smug instead.


Livi assaults e as soon as she sees me – taking a running jump, she tackled me with all her weight. And Victoire light, she is not. Ooft.


“Rosiiiiiiiiiiiiie!” she yells, and I notice my ears wilting. No, not really! But wouldn’t it be amazing if they did? “I hear you snogged mouse-boy!”


Scorpius, who was unceremoniously pushed aside when Livi attacked, doesn’t seem to like that comment and opens his mouth to protest. Caspar cuts him off, running up and bringing Bella the Kelpie with her. Scorpius backs away slightly as Bella flares her nostrils.


“Rose, you were specifically told by your mother and aunt that kissing in broom closets is the closest to whore-ish and Purple there can be!” she berates.


Purple is the code name for someone mum doesn’t like much. We’ve never figured it out, but both mum and aunt Ginny seem to think she’s a bit of a sleaze. They snigger a lot whenever they talk about her, something about ‘Wonwon’s?


“Wow, thanks Cas,” I reply, “Livi, gerrof!”


Livi obligingly rolls off me, and I get back to my feet.


“This is where you apologize for being Purple,” Caspar pushes.


I shrug. “Soz?”


Caspar glares. “Soz? Soz? I will not being spoken to in text speak! Apologize! And you!” She rounds on Scorpius, who had been watching and sniggering to himself. He jumps to attention. “You bad influence! How could you let her kiss you in a closet?”


Scorpius shrugs. There seems to be a pattern of shrugs, here. “I dunno, I quite liked it.”


I cover my mouth to keep myself from laughing. Bella comes up to me and nudges my other hand with her nose. I reach a hand into my pocket and pull out a sugar lump – hey, it pays to be prepared.


“Liked it? Liked it?”


Luckily enough, Hagrid comes out of the forest then, leading with him an extremely grumpy looking Kelpie that’s at least the height of his hut. It snorts and paws the ground where he stops. Everyone, including the average size Kelpies, takes a step back.


“’A’s okay, she won’ hur’ yeh!” Hagrid declares proudly, “Who can tell me wha’ she is?”


There’s a silence. Caspar raises her hand. Hagrid beams at her, and waves a gigantic hand in a gesture I’m sure means ‘do go on, dear fellow’.


“An overgrown Kelpie?” she guesses.


“Almos’!” Hagrid says happily, “This is all o’ these lot’s mother! An’ today, yeh gonna be feedin’ ‘em both!”


Oh, goody.


Scorpius comes and holds my hand again. Caspar glares, but I know inside she’s happy.


Okay, maybe that was a lie, she’s never much tolerated Scorpius. But I’m hoping she’ll warm to him. One day. On a blue moon. When pigs fly.


I bet Hagrid’s owned a flying pig at some stage in his life.


Bella looks wary when we try to make her sit by the big Kelpie. We end up tempting her to come vaguely closer by waving some raw eat – ew ew ew – in front of Scorpius, who is not necessarily happy about being part of the bait.


Bella walks slowly towards Scorpius and the meat Livi’s waving, and is almost to the post she’s going to be sitting by, when the stupid big Kelpie snorts. Now, it’s obviously not a very small snort. It sounds a bit like a machine gun quickly let out a round – not a pleasant noise, I assure you. Bella starts and takes off into the woods.


“BELLA NO!” Livi yells, and turns to me as Bella disappears into the trees, “Well shit! We have to go find her!”


I purse my lips. “I dunno, Livi – it’s not like we made a loss. Bella’s probably eating some innocent animal right now, and having a ball, whilst we can have a free lesson because she’s gone.”


Livi turns to Scorpius. “Scorpius. As Caspar’s vote doesn’t count since she’s the annoying one—“ Caspar lobs a stick of carrot at Livi’s head. It almost hits, but at the last moment Livi moves and it only clips her on the shoulder. “—Ow! And violent, too! You get deciding vote.”


Scorpius flounders for a moment, unexpectantly in the spotlight, but then straightens up and clears his throat. “I think,” he says, in a measured voice, “We should go after it.”


“Her!” Caspar corrects, and at the same time I whine;


“But my hair!”


Merlin, I am a brat. Save an innocent creature, Rose? No thanks, might ruin my carefully – ha! – put together look.


Scorpius sniggers and swiftly leans forwards and pulls my hair band out, ruffling my hair. Oh, ha. Ha ha ha. Hysterical, Rose looks like she sleeps in a ditch.


I mock-glare at him, because I’m still a bit overly pleased that he kissed me.


And who could glare at wikkle Scorpius? He’s so gorgeous.


He takes my hand once more as we make our way towards the forest. Caspar looks like she’s about to explode with glary-ness, but then she sees something in her line of sight, goes dramatically wide-eyed for a moment, and sprints off into the forest. Me and Livi glance at each other. That was weird, even by our standards. When I look where she was looking, I can’t see anything out of the ordinary – just Lucinda and Evie, working perfectly in their group.


What the hell is up with Cas?


When we finally find her in the forest – which is hard because she’s hiding up a bloody tree – and begin to coax her down. We try.


And try.


And try.


“Come on, Caspar,” I try, after a good half hour, “That tree’s covered in lichen and you’re going to ruin your clothes.”


“Fuck clothes!” Comes the reply from above me.


Bella has long since been located by Scorpius, and is being petted by the same boy. I think she finally likes him. They look content, anyway.


Unfortunately, Livi and I are not content to let Caspar whine in a tree all day.


“Fuck clothes!” Livi yells up to the branches, “There’s only ten FREAKING minutes left in this lesson Caspar Louise Clark, and Merlin help me I am only spending one more here until I climb into that FUCKING TREE and drag you out screaming!”


There’s a minor silence. Livi is counting off the seconds on a watch she’s conjured up.


“Thirty seconds,” I warn. Caspar shows no sign of moving. “Ten seconds...”


Livi takes off her jumper and shoes, and prepares herself. The last second ticks off the stopwatch and it vanishes exactly as she starts climbing. Her agility astounds me as ever, and before you know it there’s a cry of:


“OLIVIA GET OFF ME!” That presumably comes from a trapped Caspar. “I swear I will BITE YOU!” There’s rustling, then a small shriek. I crane my neck, but see nothing. Bloody branches.


A grim-face Livi soon descends, using just one hand. She shows me the other: a large red tooth mark is on it.


“Fuck,” I mutter, “She’s really lost it.”


Scorpius wanders over, with Bella in tow. “You know,” he says contemplatively, “I reckon I could get her out of the tree pretty quickly.”


Livi and I glance at each other. I’m first to take the bait. “Really? Because, I’m kind of already in Professor Chang’s bad books,” I say quickly.


“And we could really do with getting back now,” Livi finishes.


We nod together. Scorpius takes out his wand, twirls it between his fingers, and points it at the tree Caspar is hiding in. It starts to wobble.


Now, this is where I should leap forwards and stop Scorpius from shaking Caspar out of the tree, in case she gets hurt. But it has been a long half hour, and she bit Livi.


So it’s fine by me.


I am a terrible person.


The tree is slowly getting more violent in its movement, and there’s a grumbling noise coming from the branches I assume Caspar is perched in.


The tree does an impressive dip and she shrieks. Livi glances at me.


“Do you think... No, forget it,” she mutters.


“No, I’m fine to wait until she comes down and explains herself,” I say, as a sort of reply to what I guess she would have asked.


After another terrific dip, Caspar gives in.


“Fine! I’ll climb down, but stop the bloody movement!” she yells. Abruptly, the tree reverts to its upright position.


“Well, you only had to ask,” drawls Scorpius. Bella snorts in appreciation.


Slowly, so slowly I almost ask Scorpius to start shaking the tree again, she descends. When she’s finally standing in front of us, I raise an eyebrow.


“Explain,” I demand in my best important voice.


Caspar stares at Scorpius. “Go away,” she orders. Scorpius huffs.


“Charming,” he grumbles, walking back the way we came. Bella follows him, trotting happily.


“Any reason for that?” I ask. I don’t get a reply, as Caspar is too busy watching him leave. When he’s completely disappeared, she sighs and looks at Livi and I.


And continues to do so, for ages.


Okay, a minute or so.


“Fuck it Caspar, you are wasting my time here!” I proclaim, and at the same time Caspar opens her mouth and quickly says:


“I’m a whore.”




“A... whore?” Livi questions, her eyebrows pulling together as she frowns.


“A whore,” Caspar confirms, “A dirty, lying, scheming little bitch that can’t... can’t...” She bursts into tears. I open my arms and she falls into them, clinging to me as if I was the last life jacket on a sinking boat.


I rub her back soothingly. I’ve had enough of these breakdowns over the years – mainly Scorpius related. And I wonder why Caspar dislikes him...


It seems we will not be in Transfiguration on time today, after all.












As ever I own zilch. Hello again! It's nice to see all your smiling faces once more.


I am already writing the next chapter. Go me!

Poke a few letters into the box about v there v and it will stop biting, promise ^_^


Chapter 24: She is a snotty little madam
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I swear, this chapter was like... whoa. Anyway, we're heading towards catastrophe ever more rapidly concerning my brain power, so anything you recognise: JKs!



 Problem 32: I have a sobbing Caspar in my arms.

And I have no idea what’s wrong. The suspense is killing me.

In a positive, upbeat world, Caspar would be recovering about now. And we wouldn’t be late to Transfiguration.

But... she’s still crying. I think she may also be speaking.

“...mphg... jesunhdins... awwarf...”

Well, it’s definitely something. I just don’t know what it is.

Livi sighs and sits down heavily. A beetle starts crawling over her foot. I watch it as Caspar shudders and chokes in my arms, and Livi makes ‘what the hell?’ gestures behind her back.

After a while – we are definitely late – she composes herself and I steer her to a handy stump, sitting down and bringing her with me. Livi shuffles forwards and sits in front of us.

And with one word, Livi picks through all of Caspar’s defences. I’m sure she’s set them up – she’s been sobbing for a good ten minutes.

“Spill!” Livi commands. Caspar moans, sways, and puts her head in her hands.

“I cheated on Harry,” she mutters, loud enough for us to hear. And as if that’s not big enough news, she adds, “With Evie.”

Good God.

Okay, that’s a Muggle belief, but I can’t bring poor innocent Merlin into this. This God guy... I don’t know much about him. I’m sure mum would be more than happy to teach me.

Livi’s jaw had dropped, and my eyes had grown massively. We probably look like a bad cartoon.

“You... what?” I ask stupidly.

“I kissed Evie!” Caspar all but shrieks, “And then I had sex with her!”

Nope, still not getting this.

“Does he know?” Livi asks.

“Who?” Caspar asks blankly, “Harry? Fuck, why would I tell him? ‘Oh, hi Harry! Did you know I cheated on you with a girl whom I now know better than you inside and out? No? Oh, well, now you do!’”

“There’s no need for sarcasm,” Livi reprimands as Caspar glowers, “But you need to—“

“Need to! I’m going to be miserable, thanks, and avoid both of them—“Caspar interrupts, looking angry and worried.

“No! You’re going to go and sit them both down and discuss it like adul—“ I try to rationalise, but I’m cut off.

“I cheated on him; this isn’t a rational conversation I can have over dinner!” Caspar stands up and stomps her foot. Really? How old is she? “I am almost an adult! November the seventeenth, I will be an adult and I am fucking terrified of that day! I don’t want to grow up!” Her legs fold and she sits back down heavily, swiping at her eyes.

I take a deep breath. “Okay. Before we argue this any further, we need to know four things. What did you do, where did it happen, when the hell, and why?”

Caspar swipes on final time, and sighs. “What – we were talking. And then we were kissing. And then I had no clothes on and—“ she closes her eyes and rubs her temples for a moment, and then sits back up and continues, “—Where – this is going to sound really, really terrible of me, but it happened in our dorm. When – four days ago, just after you went into the hospital wing. Why? WHY? How the fuck am I supposed to know? But now I lie in bed after the lights are out and I know she’s in the same room, and it feels like... like she’s everywhere.”

There’s a pause. “Our... dorm?” Livi says slowly, “Our dorm? As in, the one we sleep in every night?”

Caspar shoots a glare at her. “Yes, that one! Not only the one you sleep in, but the one both Evie and I sleep in, too! It’s like... it’s like if Rose slept in the same room as Scorpius. She’d want to go climb into his bed, right?” I nod. Well, duh. “Well, that’s what it feels like. I can’t sleep because the urge is so strong.” She laughs bitterly. “Lust is driving me mad. You must think I’m a freak.”

“I dunno,” I reply, “I’ve always thought you’re a bit weird, that’s why I like you – my cousin’s gay, Caspar, I have no problem with you being in love with Evie.”

“I am not in love!” Caspar growls, “It’s a stupid infatuation, and I will be over it before you can say ‘lesbian’!”

Livi and I glance at each other.

“Yeah...” Livi says slowly, “It’s a stupid infatuation, but you can’t sleep because of it.”

Caspar sends her one last glare before standing up and stalking off through the trees in the direction of the school.

We both follow her. I’m slowly building myself up for one of my infamous interventions – Caspar does not want that to happen, I’m sure. To date, my interventions have all been spectacular; have always resulted in me getting at least two detentions and the victims being permanently shell shocked – but it never fails. Just ask Albus what happened when he found out his girlfriend was cheating on him and mistakenly told me. And quote: “Rose, if I ever have a problem again, I’m going to tell you last.”

He over-reacted. All I did was post a giant billboard of the girl in question in the Great Hall with the word ‘slut’ written in four-foot high letters, and it may have caused a bit of trouble. But she’s been faithful ever since – although admittedly not to Al, but to the boy she was cheating on him with.

Sucks for him.

“Caspar,” I call, “Have you spoken to her since?”

Caspar waits for us to catch up to her and then walks with us at a more sedate pace.

“No,” she finally replies, “I’ve been avoiding her.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Livi says slowly, “But I think you should. Talk to Harry, too. If you keep avoiding them you’re just going to get more and more stressed, and then you’ll be a nervous wreck for the rest of your life.”

“Maybe not that long,” I correct, “But if you want to climb into bed with Evie...” I trail off suggestively, grinning and dodging the blow Caspar sends my way.

“I can’t,” she mumbles, “I can’t just talk like everything’s normal.”

“Then don’t,” Livi says, “Talk like you want to jump into bed with Evie.” I laugh as she also has to dodge a blow.

“Shut it,” Caspar growls, but there’s a smile on her face. Victory! She smiles!

There’s a pause in the conversation. I don’t want to get back into the Harry-Evie-Caspar discussion until I’ve figured out what I think should be done, and I’m comfortable being in love with Scorpius, so I target the person who has been walking with us... Olivia.

“How’s Luke?” I ask airily, expecting an avalanche of gushing. Instead, Livi pouts.

“He’s boring. He’s Quidditch obsessed. He complains a lot. And he calls me ‘Libby’,” she whines, “He stays up all night and then moans about how tired he is. He copied my homework and I got called in for plagiarism—“

“Okay, so everything’s amazing, then,” Caspar says dryly, “I’m glad that at least Rose is having fun with mouse boy.”

“Hey! His name is—“

“-- he keeps going on about the Quidditch cup and how it would be amazing to win it. He says he hated playing before being a captain because he ‘knew he could do better’. He’s obnoxious, and bratty, and I feel like an idiot even standing next to him unless he shuts his mouth,” Livi continues bitterly, “But I can’t get rid of him because he’s threatening to kick me off the team if I try.”

We’re on the outer edges of the forest now, and I can see Hagrid waiting worriedly with Scorpius, who’s throwing pieces of raw meat for Bella with a look of mild disgust on his face.

“He waited for you,” Livi says, and she looks disappointed. “Luke never waits for me.”

“Harry waits for me,” Caspar comments, “But I keep dodging him.”

They share a moment of misery. I, however, am busy being happy.

He waited for me!

He spots us plodding towards us and grins at me.

Well, there go my knees...

Bella sees his distraction and wanders off, presumably to eat something slimy and gross. Like raw liver. Or slugs.

“Shut up, Rose,” Livi mutters, “Just because you got the good one...”

I am pretty sure I didn’t say anything. I glance at Caspar, and she is giving me a ‘our-friend-is-crazy-pretend-not-to-notice’ look. I oblige happily.

“..your dadada, consisted of the same... dadadadaaaa!” I scramble through pages upon pages of sheets of lyrics, chords and lists of songs, desperately trying to find the lyrics to whatever song it is I’m supposed to be singing. Damn this Muggle ball!

This is all Lucinda’s fault.

Speaking of Lu – she’s come down with whatever I had. I’m sure it’s karma.
The band has stopped playing now, and are sniggering at my muffled swearing.

Fergus puts down his guitar and comes over to help, taking half the pile and beginning to leaf through them. Daniel keeps drumming – geez, he never stops! It’s like he’s got a drumming twitch. I notice Eldora is neither playing her stupid keyboard, or helping us. Snooty Ravenclaw cow.

And what kind of name is Eldora, anyway? A rubbish one! It’s a terrible name!

...I’m kind of in a bad mood.

We were late to Transfiguration, despite my pleas to skip it and say we felt ill, and Professor Chang gave us a bloody detention. All through Transfiguration, Livi grumbled under her breath about Luke. Caspar ran out of the room when the bell went to avoid both Evie and Harry, leaving me with Mrs. Grumble, whom I had to put up with throughout lunch. She’s so tiring.

Fortunately, Luke didn’t come visit her – although that may have been one of the reasons she was grumbling – so I didn’t have to put up with an argument, or worse.

Anyway. Since I had most of the evening – bar detention time – I thought I’d schedule an impromptu rehearsal.

Hence, I found out these little known – to me – facts:

1. Eldora Hicks is a snotty little madam.

2. With a stupid name.

3. Daniel Mayfield has some kind of drumming disability and therefore cannot stop at any time.

4. Fergus is the only one I actually like in the band.

Bless Fergus for being so nice. I pull out the correct music with a flourish. I have got to organise this stuff at some point.

Placing it on my music stand, I pick up my guitar and sigh.

“From the top!” I order grumpily. I’m catching Livi’s grump.

“Nah, come on Rose, my fingers hurt,” Fergus says, “You’re supposed to be in your detention in five minutes, anyway.”

Eldora flounces out of the room, her skirt bouncing on her thighs. Fergus follows her with his eyes. Oh good Merlin. Her?

“Fergus, you’re drooling,” Daniel sniggers, standing up from his drum kit and blessedly leaving the room quiet. Fergus scowls in reply.

“I’m not,” he mutters. I raise an eyebrow.

“Do you like her Fergus?” I ask innocently. His ears turn an interesting shade of pink.

“What, Eldora?” he says, trying to be nonchalant. He fails miserably; instead sounding like most of the air is missing from his lungs. “Yeah, she’s okay.”

I burst out laughing, and he blushes. “Okay?”

Let’s get something straight: I don’t like Eldora. But I like Fergus, and therefore I like Eldora for his sake. It’s what friends do.

But the moment she hurts him in the slightest, I’m going to punch her in her snooty face.


I grab my mountain of lyrics and chords and start the run to get to my detention in time.

Normally, I wouldn’t care, but I might as well be on time and not have to do another detention for missing this one.

I skid into Professor Chang’s classroom with a minute to spare, plopping into a seat.

She looks up at me and smiles ruefully.

“Once upon a time,” she says whimsically, “You would have rather died than have been given detention.”

Um... Not my fault I’m a nerd, look who I have for a mother.

I attempt to smile back, but I’m saved from further ‘conversation’ by Caspar crashing into the room, dragging behind her a reluctant Olivia. Caspar appears to be wiping her eyes.

I resist the urge to demand to know why she’s crying, sitting on my hands instead.

“Sorry we’re late professor,” Caspar gasps, “We encountered some... trouble.”

She glances at me worriedly. Why is she giving me that look? I’m not telepathic, I don’t know what happened!

Maybe she’s worried because I’m here on time. I mean, that’s just unnatural. Both Livi and Caspar plop into seats next to me, so I’m sandwiched between them, and we’re ready to face an hour of boredom.

Professor Chang rises from her seat and levitate three large boxes crammed full of files and random scraps of parchment onto our desks. Oh, good.

“Here are the lesson plans for every second year class this year,” she announces, “Sort them by category.”


We start sorting slowly, and Chang goes back to her marking.

Potions. Charms. Potions. Potions. History.

Pistory. Harms. Cotions.

I’m distracted.

Hooray! A first year messenger.

“Uh, Professor Chang?” he asks, trying to sound cool in front of us big kids – I know, I used to do it too – and failing. “I think Martin’s concussed.”

I try not to snigger, pressing my lips into a weird face. Oh, first years.

Chang bustles out of the room, leaving us with the order “Don’t break anything!”


Caspar turns to me with a determined look on her face.

“Two things. James is on the warpath. And I kissed Evie again.”

Oh good God.

“She missed out the best bit!” Livi says gleefully.

“Livi, please...” Caspar moans, putting her head in her hands.

“No, go on,” I urge. Well, I am curious.

“They combined beautifully and James caught Caspar kissing Evie!” she laughs, “And he’s threatening to tell Harry... which isn’t so good.”


Well. Leave a review because I eat them and my cupboard is bare please! I hope you enjoyed it



Chapter 25: I have my father's tact.
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Hi there!





This week: I watched Morning Glory. Ate a lot of chocolate. Sulked.






















Problem 33: I can’t tell what’s worse about this situation: the fact James was on the warpath for an unknown reason – though I have a strong suspicion – or that he now has blackmail material.







Let’s see.







I think, for now, the second point is most terrifying.





“What did say he say exactly?” I ask. Caspar is looking like she’s going to cry again. 




“We were in one of the hidden passageways – I swear, I just turned down there and she was already in the tunnel! There was one of those really awkward moments, and then I sort of... launched myself at her,” she says quickly, looking embarrassed, “And while we were having a really intense moment –“ Oh sweet mother of Merlin I have so many awful mental images now! “—James stumbled into the bloody place too! I looked around, saw him and found my brain had stopped working in a panic-like manner. He didn’t say anything for a very long moment,” she pauses, gulps, and then continues, he voice rising, “And then he opened his mouth and told me if I didn’t tell Harry by next Friday that I was cheating on him he’d tell him that I—“ she abruptly stops, looking in horror at the doorway. Professor Chang is back, and looking stunned.





“Well,” she finally manages to say.





“Yeah,” I reply intelligently.









She comes into the room and closes the door behind her, casting a silencing charm over it. Then she draws up a chair and sits down in front of us.





“Since you’re obviously not going to be able to work whilst it’s all running through your mind,” she says casually to us, “I think we should talk about this. Think of it as free therapy.”





“Oh no,” Livi says quickly, “That’s not—“ 




“Olivia, you’ve filed every Charms lesson plan under ‘Ancient Runes’. You’ve also burnt the word ‘gah’ into the table. I think you need to talk.”





There’s a pause. Professor Chang leans back in her chair.






“I don't even like Luke," she starts, "He's stupid and selfish and he makes me want to scream with boredom. I am dating him because of his looks and that makes me stupid and shallow in the extreme." She stops and gulps. Professor Chang nods.





Oh, fuck it.





“My whole family is going to hate me,” I start. I can feel something lifting in my chest; could it be that I should actually talk to people like normal human beings do? “Because they all hate the Malfoy’s, and I’ve gone and fallen in love with one of them. Dad will never forgive me. My cousin told me he’s gay and his mother is desperate for him to get married and have lots of kids. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over Scorpius if he gets bored of me. I don’t ever seem to forward plan either so if he wants me out of his house it’ll probably just leave me as a tramp on the streets.”





Yes, I am planning on living with him. Indefinitely. Well, that’s my therapy over!





We all turn to look at Caspar. She sighs. “There’s a girl called Caspar Clark. Her parents divorced when she was three, and she lived her life between their homes until she was eleven. And then an owl came with a letter. It said she was a witch. Her mum cried a lot at that, because she was scared of being home alone. Since her dad had gone, she had no-one. Her dad was really pleased, and he was the one who took Caspar to Diagon Alley. She saw such amazing things there, brilliant things,” she smiles, looking down at her lap, “She was so happy. And then the time came to go home. Caspar and her dad – they waited for her mum to pick her up. Spent hours sitting outside The Leaky Cauldron, telling each other about all the fascinating things they’d seen. But by two o’clock, the pub had shut and Caspar’s mum still hadn’t turned up. So they went home by themselves.”





We all keep waiting for her to continue, but she just gazes at her hands, neatly folded in her lap.







“Go on,” Professor Chang urges, “You’re doing really well.”









“I don’t want to,” Caspar mumbles. A tear is making its way down her cheek.





I can honestly say I’ve never heard this story before. That her parents are even divorced is news to me.







How well do I know my friends?





Let’s play a game, kids!







Question: which of your friends is a closet lesbian?





Umm... Caspar?





No! You got it wrong! She’s too busy crying to think of any relationships right now!





I put an arm around my tearful friend. 

“Olivia,” Professor Chang says, “Would you please fetch the tissues from my cupboard?”





Livi walks off in search of the fabled Box of Tissues. Apparently they have a cheering charm placed on them. 




Caspar takes a deep breath. “We got a taxi home. Dad made me some tea, and we carried on talking about Diagon Alley and wizards and all these amazing things,” she carries on. Now she’s in the first person it’s scarily real. I have never, ever heard Caspar discuss her parents.









How do I spend so long in the company of one person and still know so little about them?







She’s talking again. “Dad went into the lounge to watch television, and he came out really pale. He said ‘Your mother’s gone’. I didn’t know what it meant, so I packed my stuff into a bag like he told me to and we went off to his house.”





She stops again. Livi’s back with the tissues. Caspar smiles half-heartedly and blows her nose.





“Then what?” I ask, somewhat unkindly – fuck it, I’m curious.





“It’s Livi’s turn to talk,” she replies.










Livi shrugs. “My mum’s a hormonal wreck and my dad is very nice.” 




...Isn’t that every family?






Actually, both of my parents act like grumpy teenagers. I’m obviously damaged due to them.





Why isn’t anyone talking? Wasn’t this supposed to be the part where we all discuss our feelings?











“Back to the present,” I say, after a spectacularly boring pause, “What are we going to do about the Caspar Situation?” 




It’s officially grown capitals. That’s how serious it is.





“Caspar Situation?” Professor Chang queries. I ignore her, and so does everyone else.





“What can she do but beg profusely for forgiveness and be a good girl in the future?” Livi asks, looking pointedly at Caspar, who’s looking glum.





“Actually,” she says slowly, “I was thinking of... getting rid of him.”






We goggle at her.




“Heh?” I say intelligently.






“Well... If I didn’t care enough about him to stop in the first place, what’s going to stop me if it happens again?” she says logically.





I’m still goggling.





“No, sorry, take it back a step,” Livi demands, “You snogged someone else—“






“It wasn’t snogging! I had sex!” 



It seems we’ve decided to ignore Professor Chang completely. She’s looking shell-shocked. After all, Cas is her best student.





“—once, and now you’re willing to throw away three years of relationship for that?”





Caspar shrugs. “I just... don’t think I care about him anymore.”





She looks shocked that she’s said it out loud, and covers her mouth with her hand before starting to cry in earnest. 




Livi puts an arm around her. Fuck, I suck at sympathy. Honestly, I have inherited my father’s tact.






“Even if you don’t care, you still need to do some grovelling. He’s going to care, Cas, and you need to apologize... and break up with him if you don’t want to be with him anymore,” I say firmly.





I did say I sucked at sympathy.






“That will, at least, sort out your little James problem,” Livi agrees. Caspar blinks at us, and removes the hand from over her mouth, looking dazed.




“B-break up with him?” she chokes, “I don’t know what I’ll do without h-him!” She hiccups and clutches her head.





“You just said you wanted to get rid of him!” I remind her tersely, “What else could you mean by that, bumping him off?”





Okay, wrong thing to say. Cue a new bout of tears.






“I don’t know!” she wails, “I just wanna... I just want to be alone!”




With that, she pushes her chair back and shoots out of the room. Livi makes to stand up, but I grab her hand.





“Geesh, Livi, weren’t you listening?” I snap.






That was mean of me. My shoulders sag in defeat. Where’s Scorpius when I need him? I need him now, damnit!






I need a hug. All Caspar’s drama has taken the wind from my sails.




“Well,” Professor Chang says primly, “I guess it’s about the end of your detention. You can go, girls.”




Livi and I glance at each other, both of us daring the other to say the magic words.






I lose. 



“Thanks, Professor,” I say slowly, rising from my seat, “I think... we’d better... goafterher.”






And at that, we both dash from the room in the direction we think she went in.








Where’s that stupid map Uncle Harry had when you need it?





All this dashing around is going to make me fit.






We search every classroom, every passageway, the library, the Great Hall, we even go down to Hagrid’s.





He greets us with “I think the Kelpie’s are eating my cabbages” and swears blind he hasn’t seen Caspar. We trudge back to the castle utterly defeated and feeling like crappy friends.





“We’re crappy friends,” Livi moans.






“Yep,” I agree.





“We should have gone after her straight away,” she continues.




“Yep,” I say.






“Luke isn’t sweet at all.” 










“Scorpius and you are going to be in so much trouble when your parents find out.”









“Enough searching!” Livi orders, promptly sitting down on the grass, “I don’t want to search for a boy, for a friend, for answers, for anything! I’d rather wallow in self pity and wait for them to find me.”





Oh crap, now she’s crying too.





I sit down by her and wrap an arm around her shoulders.






“Livi, do you want to move to somewhere more private so we can talk?” I ask quietly.





She laughs. Well, sort of. It’s more like a parrot vomiting. “Fuck it! I don’t care if anyone sees me now.”






“What do you mean, ‘sees me now’?”





She shrugs. “James already saw me clawing at The Fat Lady because I forgot the password; Roxanne saw me having an argument with Sir Cadogan; Caspar saw me throw a biscuit at a first year because she looked at me; freaking everyone and their mothers have seen me do something freaking dumb this week. I hate it when you’re ill, I really do.”






She pouts as I try to comprehend what she’s just told me.





“You threw a biscuit at a first year?” I finally manage, “Why?”





“Because I’m tired. Because I’m stressed. Because everything sucks!” she punches the ground and glares at the Whomping Willow. “I don’t want to do anything. I just want... I want to cry. And eat.”





“Let’s go to the kitchens then,” I suggest hopefully. I can see some weird little kids pointing at us.





She shrugs and stands up, wiping her eyes. “Sure. That way I can stuff my face, at least.”





We start walking back to the castle again, my arm around Livi’s waist. Everyone’s having a bit of a drama, it would seem.





I wonder what Louis is going to do about his situation. I haven’t seen him in a while. 




As we reach the castle steps I notice that there’s still a group of people chatting in the entrance hall. Livi doesn’t seem to mind, though, so I just keep walking. We carry on past them, and I notice one of the people is Luke.






He notices Livi, who is pointedly ignoring him.





“Libby! Come and say hi!” he says, a big smile on his face.





This is too much for Olivia, apparently, as she spins around out of my grip and yells:





“It’s fucking Livi, you absolute idiot! L-I-V-I!” She then stomps off in the direction of the kitchens, leaving a stunned Luke behind.







All this ice cream is going to make me so fat.





And I know you’re rolling your eyes, but honestly. We’re on our fourth bowl. Each.





“I just don’t care if he kicks me off the team,” Livi says, and then pauses to lick her spoon, “I want out. Out of the relationship, not out of the team, obviously.”





She catches my eye and nods meaningfully. It’s somewhat lost on me; I’m a bit preoccupied with glaring at my bowl of ice cream, hoping it will result in Caspar bursting through the door, announcing that it’s all been a dream and no-one has cried today.





And that James has no blackmail material. 









The house elves of the kitchen have taken refuge in the opposite end of the room. Occasionally a couple will venture over and offer us some more food. I’ve given up declining and instead I nod as Livi reels off a new list of fattening flavours.





“I mean, it’s not like I’m having much fun, anyway. He’s a whiny little git, frankly. He just happens to be beautiful. And a good kisser. And he can be really, desperately charming.” Livi sighs heavily. Oh, her life is so hard.





I mean, beautiful boyfriend with faults that make him mildly irritating?





Hang on. That’s my situation, too.





Where is Scorpius, anyway?





The door to the kitchen begins to open and my heart leaps in anticipation, could it be – oh. It’s Al.





“Hi, Albus,” I say glumly, “How’re you?”




He shrugs, looking like he’s hiding something. “Fine, fine,” he says airily.





“So, what’s up?” Livi says, scooping more food into her mouth. Albus looks even shiftier.





I give it ten second until he cracks. He can’t help but tell us stuff.






Ten, nine, eight, seven—






“So I saw Scarlett today,” Al says quickly. I grin at him, and he smiles sheepishly, running a hand through his hair.





“Have a seat, Al,” I say politely. A house elf rushes over with another spoon.





“Thanks,” Albus says, digging into my bowl of chocolate ice cream. With sprinkles, of course.





I wait a few moments. Okay, not so many moments, but enough time for me to eat another spoonful of ice cream.





“So what happened?” I ask casually.






Albus rolls his eyes. “Jeez, Rose, I know you know something about this situation, stop playing innocent,” he chastises, “I saw her for a few moments – all she did was squeak and leg it in the opposite direction. What on Earth have you said to her? Does she think I’m infectious or something?”





I can’t help but snigger. He glares.





Pulling my best innocent face, I gesture for him go on with my spoon.





“There’s very little more to it,” he shrugs, and runs a hand through his hair. “What the hell’s gotten into her?”





This time its Livi’s turn to snort. “Are you really as thick as you look?” she asks, “It’s not what’s gotten into her – it’s what’s gotten out of her. Like something she thought she could hold in.”





Al just looks confused. And irritated. “I don’t look like an idiot! And I’ll have you know I’m very intelligent. It’s not my fault you lot are so bloody cryptic!”





I’m trying not to laugh. It’s not working at all, so I stick another spoonful of ice cream in my mouth. Mmmn.





“Albus,” Livi says tiredly, “Why don’t you track the girl down yourself, like a redneck after an elk, and politely ask her to go to Hogsmeade with you. I have my own issues right now, I can’t afford to waste time on yours.”





Albus is looking like Christmas has come early, despite Olivia’s random simile. “Ask her to Hogsmeade?” he questions, a broad grin spreading across his face, “You mean she likes me?”





“Al! I am supposed to be the girl here! Can’t you just be a real man and bottle your feelings up until you start violently lashing out?” Livi snaps, “Of course she bloody likes you!”





He seems to be ignoring Livi’s snappy, grumpy attitude. He puts down his spoon and jumps up from his seat, cheerily waving goodbye to us as he departs.





“Stupid Albus,” Livi grumbles, “Stupid Scarlett. Stupid Luke. Stupid you and mouse boy. Stupid Caspar. Stupid Evie. Stupid essays. Stupid school—“





“Shut up Livi,” I interrupt, “You’re ruining a vaguely romantic moment. Al might have a girlfriend soon!” I grin at her. She flicks a spoonful of ice cream at the table. Oh, for crying out loud.









I’m sorely tempted to stand up and yell ‘GET A BLOODY GRIP’ at her, but resist for fear of making her cry once more.





“I want your cat. I want Sassy,” Livi mutters.





“Okay, that’s cool, let’s find my cat,” I reply, “Come on – to the Gryffindor dormitories!”





Livi pushes herself out of her seat and starts to stomp off, and I stack our bowls quickly before following her.





“This is ridiculous,” she mutters, “All I want is a guy who likes me as much as I like him, preferably without body odour or a creepy ex, to come up and ask me out. Then I can dump Luke, get kicked off the team, and all will be fine! Fine, fine, finey fine fine!”





I nod silently. What the hell am I supposed to say in reply to that?





We walk on for a while, and by the time we’ve reached the classrooms, Livi’s shoulders have relaxed and she’s smiling as she talks to me.





“—I mean, I dig his looks, too! Scorpius has got nice hair,” she agrees with me, “But I just don’t look at him and think ‘Wow, I’m going to follow you around all day’.”





I laugh. “Speaking of following people around, I haven’t seen Marius in a whole two days!” I exclaim, “It’s like he’s finally gotten the message!” 




Livi frowns. “Funny, I saw him earlier. He was talking to – brace yourself – another girl. Maybe he’s found someone who thinks he’s charming when he slips chocolates into their bag?”





I pout. “I kind of miss it. I know that’s bratty of me, but—“





Livi abruptly slams a hand over my mouth. “Did you hear that?” she whispers, and then starts advancing towards the nearest classroom’s door on tiptoe.





Honestly, no, I didn’t hear ‘that’. Livi’s lost her mind. Again.





I creep up with her anyway, already wondering how to break the news to Caspar that Livi’s lost the few marbles she had. Slowly, so she doesn’t make any noise, Livi opens the door a crack and peers through. She closes the door sharply and turns her back on it, sliding down to the floor wearing a stunned expression.





The tears start to leak from her eyes and I’m still none the wiser to what she saw.








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Thank you to Ellie, harrypotter417, Wendelin the Weird, estefania, bostonsboy227, Mel, caputdraconis, :), Olwyn, ginny_malfoy22, The Blunt Phoenix, a_rollerball and hermionniny9 for your lovely reviews on the previous chapter! You're all amazing <3



Chapter 26: Chocolate is my reliable friend
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 Dear readers: 'lo. It's Ella, again! Sup? I forgot to post this (so sorry! PUT THAT PITCHFORK DOWN!) but it's here now :')


A warning: this story can only get madder before it gets calmer. Prepare for war!




JK owns!















Problem 34: I’m pretty sure I’m mentally scarred by what I saw.




Livi and I are sitting by the fire, equally shell shocked – although I have to say she’s looking crappier than me, with her smudged mascara and quivering lip.



“I just can’t believe it,” she keeps mumbling, “I just can’t believe it.” I nod from my sofa.




We’re waiting for Caspar to come back, and then we'll have a nice long cry. Well, I say we – I mean they will cry and I’ll eat some more ice cream. Because that’s how I roll.



Albus wandered over a while ago and tried to make conversation, but after we both pointedly ignored him he gave up. Lily tried tickling my feet and yelling rumours she’d heard about me and Scorp, but nothing short of stamping on my head is going to make me forget what I’ve witnessed.








“Rose, what’s going on?” Matthew asks nicely. I just stare at him, the same blank expression on my face I used against Al. “That won’t work on me – come on, you’ve sat there an hour and you haven’t even told off a first year,” he jokes, “There must be something wrong. Is it Scorpius?”




“No!” I reply sullenly, “It’s bloody well not Scorpius, but he should be here because I want a hug.”




Matt obligingly pulls me onto his lap.




“Come on Rose, tell me what’s wrong,” he says soothingly.




Okay, maybe I will cry soon. He sounded so nice just then, I swear I am going to burst into tears! 



Albus, from across the other side of the room, roars: “GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY COUSIN!” Unsurprisingly, that ruins the moment. I slide off Matt’s lap and pull a face.





“I don’t know how to say it,” I start, “So ask me again tomorrow, and I’ll tell you.”




He shrugs. We sit in awkward silence for a moment, broken by Livi’s mumbling. Matt eyes her.





“Is she okay?” he questions, as she stares into the fire.




“Nope,” I reply, and I’m thankfully spared further explanation by Caspar’s arrival. Livi leaps out of her seat like she’s been electrocuted and grabs Cas’s arm, dragging her up to the dorm.




Just another normal day, everyone.




No need to stare!




I leg it after them, ignoring Matt’s shout of protest as I accidently almost tip the sofa over, and we all end up in the dormitory, where Lucinda is straightening her hair.






“OUT!” Livi orders, “Please.”




Lu pouts but lowers her wand and struts off anyway. I lock the door behind her and collapse onto my bed.



“Guys, I know I wandered off, but this is a ridiculous overreaction,” Caspar laughs, rolling her eyes.




“I don’t give a shit what you’ve been doing!” Livi screeches, “I spent the last two hours crying and crying and you being away has been the least of my worries!”




Caspar blinks once, and then steers Livi onto my bed. “I’ll get some food,” she says amiably. She’d be a very good nurse, with this caring attitude. She forages in her trunk and triumphantly pulls out a crumpled box of chocolate cauldrons. Ah, chocolate. My oldest friend.



We all begin eating, and Livi stares off into the distance.




“Well,” I say after a pause during which I’ve eaten two cauldrons, “If she won’t say it, I bloody well will! You know how Fred always said he’s rather eat his own fingers than kiss a boy?”




Caspar looks at me as if doubting my sanity. Hey, he said it!



“Um, yes?” she ventures.

 “Well imagine my feelings when I open the door of the bloody classroom and see ‘I’d rather eat myself’ Fred with his tongue stuck down Luke’s throat! I could kill him. I will kill him! I am going to hunt him down and break his kneecaps,” I growl, and angrily snap a third cauldron in half.




“Fuck my life,” Livi mutters, “Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it.”





“Who would have thought that there were this many secret gay couples out there?” Caspar says thoughtfully, “I mean, Louis and Lorcan aren’t official, Evie and I—“




“Whoa! When did it become ‘Evie and I’?” I interrupt, “I thought it was a stupid crush, a minute ago!”




Caspar shifts awkwardly. “I went to see her, okay? We had a chat, and... We want to give it a go. I want to be with her, she wants to be with me. I’m... I going to tell Harry,” she says bravely, raising her chin, “Tonight.”



“Oh fuck off!” Livi shrieks, “We spent ages searching for you, you narcissistic little fuck!”




“Livi!” I reprimand, shocked, but she interrupts me.




“Get real Rose! Caspar’s being a selfish little shit right now – I want to talk about myself for once! It’s just been Caspar, Caspar, fucking Caspar for ages! Oh, poor Caspar, having sex with a girl! My boyfriend is an unfaithful, self absorbed, twisted bar stool and has been snogging Rose’s cousin. I have no respect for you now! Maybe Harry’s going to cry like I am doing!” she yells.




Ah, shit. This is not going to be pretty.






“’Fucking Caspar’?! You want to talk about yourself? Don’t bother, let me!” Caspar shouts back at her, “You’re twice as absorbed in your own reflection as Luke ever has been! You’re just annoyed he doesn’t pay you as much attention as you pay yourself you stupid cow! Maybe he wanted to snog someone who cares about him instead of kissing you again – I know I’d rather be with someone who didn’t constantly whine about how crap her life is!”




“Guys, don’t—“ I start to plead, but unfortunately neither of my friends is listening. Livi has a rather ugly snarl on her face, and Caspar looks ready to draw wands and blast a hole in the wall.




“Oh so that’s what you really think! Well I’m glad you said that, I can tell you what I know about you! You’re not happy with just one person, no, you have to go around with anyone who glances at you! You know what I think of you? I think you’re a whore! You don’t even like Evie, you just want some attention—“



“Livi, Cas, come on, don’t—“




“SOME ATTENTION?” Caspar roars, “Oh that’s rich, Mrs Throwing-Food-At-First-Years! You’re such a pathetic excuse for a human being, I cannot believe anyone, least of all Luke, would bother chasing you! You—“




“That’s it!” Livi shrieks, pulling out her wand, and suddenly I’m in the middle of a full-on battle.




These people are supposed to be friends.




Not only that, they’re supposed to be best friends. Merlin’s pants.





Protego!” I shout, and for a moment there’s still sparks in the air. “Both of you, stop it! Now!”




Livi is wobbling on jelly legs, and Caspar is cradling her left arm, which has grown tentacles. She promptly bursts into tears and, unlocking the door on her way, runs from the room.




“Fuck you!” Livi shouts after her.





“Olivia!” I reprimand, “Enough!”



“Did you hear what she said to me?” she replies indignantly, unjinxing her legs.





“Did you hear what you said to her?” I shoot back, “Fucking hell, Livi. Was that necessary?”




“Fine then, take her side!” she cries dramatically, plopping down onto her bed and swiping angrily at her eyes.





I sigh. “Livi, I’m not taking anyone’s side.”




“Just leave me alone, Rose.”




So I do. Deciding to find Caspar, I consult the best source I’ve got – Lily.



“Lily,” I begin nicely, interrupting her talk with her friend Jess, “Where’d she go?”




“What, Caspar? She left. Al went after her,” she says, and then turns away and continues her conversation.




Well, at least Caspar’s not alone. Good boy Albus! I have found some love for my cousin.





I take a deep breath and climb out of the port hole, expecting to find Caspar and Albus outside the door. Even in a nearby classroom, perhaps.





But no! That would be far too simple!





Here I go again, searching for one of my friends. Well, the same friend I was searching for earlier actually – aha!




Didn’t she say she went to the Room of Requirement?





I’ve got her now!





I start to move towards the place I believe her to be hiding in, but unfortunately... My plans and I don’t get on, apparently.




“Rose!” yells someone from behind me, “I was just looking for you!”



I turn and see Louis hurrying after me.




“Hi, Lou,” I say absentmindedly, “I’m a bit busy right now –“



“I’ve done something really stupid and I need you to sort it out,” he says breathlessly.




“I see,” I deadpan.




I am severely unimpressed with the timing of my family’s crises. I mean, really. I’m having a friend crisis here! My best friends just tried to curse each other into oblivion!




And now one of them has run away.




“Don’t you even want to know what I did?” Louis asks in disbelief as I start walking away again.




“Definitely not,” I snipe back.




He catches up with me quickly, and resumes talking at me.




“It’s really bad,” he says hopefully, casting furtive glances my way to see if I’m interested.




“Don’t care,” I sing, “Bigger fish to fry!”





“It sounds like something you would have done,” he taunts, “Can I just tell you?”




“Go ahead Lou, make my day,” I say sarcastically, “It’s not like I have other stuff to do.”




“Okay then!” he huffs, “Since I’m so nice, I’ll tell you anyway, even though you’re all grumpy. I punched Lysander in the face. And dumped Petrova. Not necessarily in that order.”





I stop and run a hand over my face tiredly. “For Merlin’s sakes, why couldn’t I have a nice, peaceful day? What on Earth can I do about this, Louis? I don’t want to sound cruel, but you fucked up.”




“I thought you wanted me to dump her?” he says grumpily, “I don’t see why you’re being so snarky.”




“I. Am. Busy!” I hiss, “What do you want?”




“I want you to convince Lysander to forgive me,” he states, “Because he’s not talking to me.”




I give him a flat stare. “You punched him in the face. What do you expect, to be showered with kisses?”





“Aw, come on Rose! Aren’t I your favourite cousin?”




“That is the most horrific idea to cross my mind today!”




I shudder dramatically and start walking again. Soon, I will be outside the Room of Requirement, at which point I can leave Louis – who is clearly in the wrong here – and console Caspar, whilst smoothly asking her what Evie and she talked about, to which she will reply with a lengthy insight into her mind and a deep analysis of her conversation.




Oh, no. He’s following me.




“Just do me this favour, Rose! He’s ignoring me! Silent treatment! BLANKING!”

 That is exactly what I’m attempting to do to Louis right now.





I figure if I don’t respond for long enough, he’ll get bored and go whine to someone else.









Taking a deep breath, I try to remember why I should love my family members.




1.       Blood is thicker than water.




2.       Most of them are much thicker than that.




3.       They are family.



4.       I should be grateful to them.




5.       Why? WHY?! I don’t know why I should be grateful. Mum used to say it when I threw stuff at Hugo.




“Ro-oooo-se,” Louis whinges, making me grit my teeth in irritation, “Don’t you start ignoring me too!”




I am sure there is a reason to be grateful for my family.









“Ro-ooo-se –POKE-why-POKE-won’t-POKE-you-POKE-help-POKE-meeeee?”





Must. Ignore. Whiny. Cousin.




If I keep walking, he’ll keep walking. If I start talking, he’ll expect me to talk more. To him. ACH.




My family is so needy! James is betting on me, Albus is trying to date my friends, Lily and Lucy talking at me – and now this.




I must be their go-to person for stressing out. ‘Hey, I’ve had a hard day, let’s go irritate Rose!’




“Rose, I am begging you.”



Now that’s interesting. I turn around to see Louis on his knees – WHY IS MY FAMILY SO WEIRD?





“Huh,” I reply.



“Please, please, please figure out a way of making Lysander forgive me,” he pleads, “I didn’t really mean to punch him, I swear! I just got a bit angry because Fred was calling me a ‘girly weedy git’—“




“Fred do what huh?” I say quickly, “Was he mocking you again? That little hypocrite! I am going to cut—“





“Rose! PLEASE!” Louis interrupts me. Oh, Merlin. He’s turned on the puppy eyes.





Must. Resist.







“Fine, okay, I’ll think up a plan,” I concede, “but you have to leave him alone in the mean time.”



Grinning, he finally leaves me alone to ponder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into.


















A big cheer to Leah-Malfoy, couldyoureallyknow, estefania, Hermionniny9, reallifewizard, Indigo, a rollerball, caputdraconis, Ellie, Lindsay, JessaDean, dementorsforbreakfast, and Alex, for lovely reviews <3

See you soon!


Chapter 27: Victoria Sponge
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JK owns it all :'(


Problem 35: How the hell do I get into the Room of Requirement?


I’ve tried freaking every combination of words I can think of – I have limited mental capacity! My brain is full of Scorpius, I can’t think about other things right now!


Mmmn. Scorpius.


I am indulging myself in a bout of drooling over Scorpius when guess who comes barrelling along the corridor?


That git himself, Fred Weasley.


“FRED!” I yell, and tackle him. We both go flying, but luckily he acts as a cushion for my body. I could have been hurt, you know. He’s going to get hurt, if I keep hitting him like this.




“Ow! Rose! Gerrof!” he shouts, “HELP!”


Whilst he’s trying unsuccessfully to stop me from hitting every part of him I can reach, I’m happily pummelling him.




“Do what?” he squeaks back, “What have I done to deserve – OW!”


“What on Earth is going on here?” barks someone from behind me. I turn to see who it is and Fred pushes me off him swiftly, clambering to his feet and backing away.


“She attacked me!” he accuses, pointing a finger in my direction.


It’s okay, it’s only James. I can totally blackmail both these people! Who first?


“Have you heard,” I say in a low voice, getting back to my feet and smoothing my hair, “What Fred has been up to in secluded classrooms?”


Fred blanches, but James looks interested. “Nope. Is it bad? Should I tell his mother?” he asks eagerly.


“No!” Fred replies quickly, and seeing us both look at him – James out of curiosity and I with the devious expression that means he is in for it – adds, “No... it’s not... bad?”


“The hell it’s not,” I growl, “Do you have any idea how upset—“


“Rose please don’t, it’s James!” he tries, “He’ll go nuts!”


“He’ll go nuts?! HE will go nuts?! What about me? Or, perhaps, OLIVIA!” I yell at him.


I want to break stuff.


And stamp on it.


Break stuff, stamp on it, and then kick Fred!


“What about Olivia?” James asks, “What have you done to Livi, Fred?” Geez, he sounds scary. Like an evil, creepy, angry guy.


“Yeah Fred,” I say sweetly, “Why do you think I might have been hurting you?”


“I think... that...” he struggles valiantly, then sets his jaw and bravely, somewhat irritatingly, says: “You probably don’t like me because I’ve been kissing boys behind your back.”


James’ mouth pops open into a round little ‘o’.


“That just makes me sound homophobic!” I protest, “And what do you mean, ‘boys’?”


“You know,” he says airily, waving a hand in no apparent direction, “The male sex. I could list them, but it would take a while.”


“You little slut!” I hiss, “What if they have girlfriends? Or boyfriends?”


He shrugs. I make to pounce on him again, but James grabs my arm.


“Rose!” he says sharply, “Don’t hurt Fred.”


Fred grins. “Yeah, Rose!”


“Aunty Ange can do that for us,” he continues. Fred’s face falls into a mask of horror.


Take that, you little scumbag!


“Please, James, don’t tell mum,” he pleads.


“If he doesn’t tell her, I bloody well will!” I huff, “James?”


“I have the afternoon off. If you get a Howler in the post tomorrow, then I expect my visit to our family to have gone well,” he replies casually, “Bye, cousins.”


I glare at Fred. “Since when are you gay?” I growl, “You spend ninety percent of the time just mocking Louis shamelessly for even wearing pink!”


“Why are you making this such a big deal?” he sniffs back, “It’s not like you’ve never seen a gay guy before! And Louis is a wuss; I mock him because he’s ridiculous. Did you hear what he did to Lysander? The only guy willing to kiss him and he punched him in the face.” He holds his hands up, as if saying ‘my point is proven’.


“Louis has no guidance!” I snap, “At least he manages to focus on one person at a time, whore.”


“He was dating Petrova, unless I’m very much mistaken, whilst snogging Lysander, so you can get off your high horse, Rose!” Fred replies smartly. He’s making me feel like an idiot. “Why do you care so much if I like boys?”


“Because you like the wrong ones!” I yell, “You were kissing someone with. A. Girlfriend!”


“He wasn’t complaining,” he points out, “In fact, he initiated the kiss. I only went along with it.”


I huff and slide to the floor. “This is ridiculous. You’re ridiculous!”


Fred shrugs and joins me. “Yep. I didn’t even think about it, Rose. I was innocently walking to my common room, and he was walking with me. Complaining about Livi, I think – something about stressing out about a nickname he gave her? I don’t know, I zoned out – and he kissed me!” He awkwardly runs a hand through his hair, and sighs. “Maybe I’m getting a reputation. Imagine that: Fred the man kisser.”


“Meh, could be worse,” I reply, picking at a hole in my jumper, “I don’t think I’m mad at you any more, Fred.”


“Good,” he says, “Because I’m assuming Livi’s going to rip my legs off, shortly followed by Caspar tearing off my arms. I’d kind of assumed you’d be stamping on my head, if I’m honest, so it’s nice to know some part of me will be left.” He grins at me, testing my reaction. I laugh.


“You can keep your head,” I say, still smiling, “And probably your arms. Livi and Caspar just had a duel in our dormitory.”


“Again?” Fred asks, groaning, and seeing my disbelieving expression, continues: “Didn’t you know? Caspar and Livi have been sniping at each other ever since you went into the hospital wing.”


“Really?” I cannot believe this. They. Are. Friends.


“Yep,” Fred pops the ‘p’ loudly, frowning at me, “You honestly haven’t noticed? Caspar had no eyebrows for a good two days; Livi honked every time she opened her mouth; both of them had leg locking curses on them most of the time. They were in a war, Rose. What got into them?”


“Piss,” I sigh, “I have no idea. I’ve been trying to track Caspar down, but then I started attacking you.”


“It hurt,” he admits, “You have really hard fists. I saw Caspar, by the way. She was heading towards the kitchens.”


Got her now.


“Thanks, Fred,” I say, clambering to my feet, “Sorry about my hard fists!”


Caspar is staring blankly at a slice of Victoria sponge. Fork in hand; she pokes it, as if it’s a particularly disgusting animal that has crawled onto her plate by accident.


I sit opposite her, an eyebrow cocked.


“You gonna tell me why you and Livi keep shooting curses at each other?” I enquire. Caspar drops the fork with a clatter, and looks up at me.


“Who told you about that?” she says sharply.


I roll my eyes. “Just answer the question, Cas.”


Picking up her fork, she resumes poking the cake. “I don’t know, Rose. She just fucks me off! She’s so uppity – hey, it’s not my fault I only have one parent! And yeah, I get it, I’m a cheating scumbag, but she doesn’t have to be so cruel about it. I’m not a psychopath; I do feel shit about it already.”


“When did you start cursing each other?” I think I might as well interrogate her. She’s here; I’m here: what further reason do I need?


She shrugs. “A while back. Remember when Lily started meow-ing? That was kind of our fault. It’s quite funny, now I think about it. It really escalated when you got sick; there was no buffer between us. She’s stupid, smelly and selfish,” she pronounces, “And she doesn’t deserve Luke, anyway.”


“She doesn’t really have him,” I say glumly, “I just saw Fred. Apparently it was Luke who started the whole tongues-down-throats business.”


She perks up at that. “Really? Now that’s interesting!” She cackles. No, really. “I would have loved to see Livi’s face when she found that out!”


“Caspar Clark!” I reprimand, “Be nice! She wasn’t there, anyway – she stayed in the dorm. Alone. Crying.” I’m trying to make Caspar feel sorry for Livi – Merlin knows why, they were both as stupid as each other – but all she does is take a forkful of cake to her mouth. Cautiously, she pokes it into her mouth.


Watching Caspar eat is weird. She’s extremely cautious, like the food is about to explode and she doesn’t want to trigger it. Hence, she eats ridiculously slowly.


I watch her for a further few minutes, in which she makes no attempt at conversation.


“I’m going back to the common room,” I announce at length, “Coming?”


“Nope,” she replies, “Don’t wait up for me, either. I’m sleeping in the Room of Requirement tonight.”


I raise an eyebrow, but say nothing. Let’s face it; she and Livi are likely to blow up the tower if they keep fighting.


Closing the painting that hides the kitchens, I decide I have to talk to Livi about the whole situation, too. But later.


Where are the Slytherin common rooms, again? I bet Scorpius would smell really nice right now.


I am such a weirdo sometimes.


Smell nice?


Really Rose?


Do you have mental issues?


I don’t even know where the Slytherin common room is. Didn’t someone say it was underwater?


Hang on, how would they breathe?


Aha! A door!


In triumph, I grasp the handle and pull. Nothing. I frown and tug at the handle harder, willing the door to open. Still, it refuses to budge. Enough! I pull out my wand, tap the handle and say clearly:




Victory! The door yields beneath my fingers, much to my satisfaction, and I happily tug it open to find – oh. And I put in all that effort, too. A dingy, cluttered broom cupboard stares up at me, as if it’s answered all my prayers.


Unless I was praying for dusty cleaning equipment, this has been pretty useless.


I close the door, sigh, and continue making my way through the corridors. Hopefully my Scorpius radar will guide me to him.






This is my Scorpius radar.


Aha! A person!


“Hey!” I call, “Wait up!”


My saviour turns around, and I find that it is Scarlett.


“Wow, hi Rose,” she says, “What the hell are you doing around here?”


I wave a hand airily, noting her calculating gaze. “You know, looking around,” I reply, “Don’t happen to have seen Scorpius, do you?”


She sniggers. “You’re trying to find the Slytherin common rooms, aren’t you? No, I haven’t seen him. Have you seen Albus?”


“Nope,” I reply, “Shall we?” I gesture to keep walking, and so we start strolling casually through the dingy corridors of Hogwarts. “So... why would you be looking for my dear cousin, exactly?”


She shrugs nonchalantly. “No reason. Why would you be looking for Scorpius?”


Fine, if that’s how you’re going to play this, then I will not be out-breezed!


“Oh, you know,” I smile demurely, “Just because.”


“Just because? How mysterious,” she deadpans, “Cut the shit, Weasley. Where. Is. Albus?”


“I genuinely do not know the answer,” I reply honestly, “Where’s Scorp?”


“Piss! I don’t know that, either. Merlin’s arse, where the hell does he disappear to?” she grumbles, “One moment he’s all “I’m just going to get my gloves” and then he’s gone!”


“Last I heard he was chasing after one of my friends. Caspar and Livi are fighting, you know,” I huff, “And no one – absolutely no one – bothered telling me! I found out because they started blowing holes in each other’s beds.”


“They said they’d tell you ‘sooner or later’ when I confronted them about it,” Scarlett rolls her eyes, “I figured it would get out of hand before either of them said a word to you. Kind of nice, watching everyone’s lives go to shit. In a few years we’ll all just be passing acquaintances – apart from Albus and I, of course. He’s going to marry me and we’ll snog ourselves to death.”


“You have such aspiring plans for the future,” I say dryly, “Snogging my cousin to death. Lovely.”


She pokes me in the arm and tuts loudly. “It’s good to have a plan! Besides, I don’t see you making contingency plans for your departure from full-time education.”


“Of course I have plans!” I disagree, tucking some errant strands of hair behind my ear, “I’m going to be very, very rich and Scorpius is going to be chained to my kitchen. He will look pretty and make me cookies.” I grin at her. It’s not like I’ve given this thought, or anything.




Eesh, these corridors are so creepy! I swear I just heard someone behind us.


There are footsteps following us.


No, can’t be. It’s all in my head.


“Did you hear that?” whispers Scarlett, whipping around quickly.


Hooray! I’m not crazy! She hears it too!


“Yes,” I breathe back, pulling out my wand, “Oh my Merlin, I’m about to be killed. And I haven’t even graduated!”


Scarlett sniggers. The ghostly presence sniggers too.


“Oh fucking hell,” Scarlett says at normal volume, “How long have you been following us, you complete dunder-buckets?”


A sheepish Albus pulls his invisibility cloak off him and Scorpius, trying to look innocent. THERE HE IS!


“You always listen in on my conversations!” I huff at Albus, “Hast thou no dignity?”


They shrug in unison. “Nope,” says Al.


“Not really,” smirks Scorpius.




Scarlett swiftly plucks the cloak from Al’s fingers. Ignoring his protests, she stuffs it under her jumper.


“I’m confiscating this as a prefect,” she says sweetly, “You can have it back once you’ve learnt your lesson.”


And then she turns and struts away. Albus stares at her like she’s water in a desert – he’s pretty much got his tongue hanging out. I thump him on the chest and make twitchy head movements.


“Ow!” he complains, “What was that for?”


“Follow her, dimwit,” I hiss back, “You listened to the conversation!”


Grinning, he dashes after her. I dread to think what they’re going to get up to.


I bet I will find Albus wandering around looking dazed later, in a fit of teenage love and uselessness. Why am I speculating over Albus? I’ve forgotten the more important things in life: Scorpius.


He’s assuming he’s off the hook, I guess. Since, you know, he’s got that adorable little face on. I raise an eyebrow. He raises one back.


Oh hell to the nah! He did not just instate an eyebrow battle!


I lower my eyebrows into a glare, scowling at my beloved Scorpius. He’s so irritatingly lovely.


“What?” he asks innocently.


“You were eavesdropping!” I accuse, pointing a finger firmly at his chest. He takes the hand in his.




Now I will go all gooey and he’ll be off the hook.




“Was I?” he says, “I was only following the object of my affections...”


“Oh so I’m an object now, am I?” I snap back, but my resolve is weakening. Must be angry. Must be angry. Must be angry.


He pulls me towards him and whispers into my neck – oh, right, because that’s where I pick up sound – “You’re mine, Rose.”


How am I supposed to be angry at him now?


I think I’ll just move a little bit closer.


And a bit closer.


Okay, so if I get any closer I might as well just surgically attach myself to him.


“Let’s go get some cookies,” Scorpius says.


Gah! He’s so mind-achingly sweet!


He will talk and all my teeth will fall out and I will have false teeth aged eighteen.


Then he will be horrified because I’ll keep them in a jar by my bed and that will be gross.


But, on the positive, I will be unarmed and therefore quite harmless, providing I don’t have a wand on me.

Chapter 28: The War Council
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Oh deary me. I have been absolutely awful at updating! I am currently two chapters ahead, so I hope to keep updating... perhaps more regularly!


Problem 36: This is what I’ve resorted to.


A war council.


“Did we have to meet in the library?” Lily grumbles, “And why do I even have to be here?”


“Were you, or were you not, caught in one of Livi and Caspar’s duels?” I ask, glancing around the crammed table. They are definitely not made for eight people.


But I had to invite Lily, because she was meowing due to my idiot friends. Scarlett had to come because she’s people-person extraordinaire, therefore Albus had to tag along, because he’d turn up anyway, due to the fact he can’t seem to leave her alone. Or course Scorpius had to come – well, duh, he’s the sweet-talking gorgeous one every war council blatantly needs – and I decided to invite Lu to give an ‘Evie’ angle. I decided I needed a ‘Luke’ angle, too, so Fred’s here, although I don’t really think he’s ever spoken to him properly. And then James kind of intercepted my message to Fred, so he turned up.


Then there’s me. Head of war council.


The library is pretty much clear by this time of day – the sun has started setting; everyone sensible is sitting by the fire, or having a late dinner. It’s quiet, with only the diehard nerd herd still here. Given that I dragged everyone from dinner, they’re looking pretty amiable.


Apart from Lily, who is still grumbling under her breath.


“Okay then, we’re here to discuss the maddening issue of Olivia and Caspar’s rivalry. I do not understand it, and possibly never will,” Scarlett announces, “So let’s start by dissecting anything they’ve ever said to any of us. Rose, you are closest to them. Livi’s opinion of Caspar is?”


Ooft, this is official. I knew it was a good idea to invite Scarlett!


“She thinks she’s a backstabbing whore, on last check,” I reply, restraining the urge to sigh. Fred sniggers – oh, yes, laugh it off. You’re getting the Howler, and don’t you forget it. “And she’s threatening to tell Harry about Evie.”


“So am I,” James chips in, “I’m forever scarred by that incident.”


Lily turns and stares at him. “What the hell were you doing in the girl’s dormitories?” she asks in horror. James looks confused.


“James is referring to another incident which took place in a concealed corridor,” Lu jumps in, “Which he interrupted. Quite rude, but I suspect quite fortunate. If anyone wants Evie’s point of view, it’s that Livi is a love fascist.”


“A what?” Al questions incredulously. Yes indeed, what in the name of Merlin is a ‘love fascist’?


“You know!” Lu waves her hand around, “Someone who controls who loves who.”


“Oh my God, I’ve stumbled into a New Wave anti-Mussolini movement,” Lily mutters. I have to laugh at that.


“Right, well, moving on,” Scarlett says, moving us back to the topic we’re supposed to be on, “Caspar’s opinion of Livi?”


“Easy,” Fred says, leaning back in his chair, which is already tipping over at an angle I would correct but my elbows are pinned too tightly to my sides in this cramped space to be able to reach over and push it back to ninety degrees, “She’s an attention seeking bitch who doesn’t deserve Luke’s attention.”


I gape at him, chair forgotten. “How do you know that?”


He shrugs nonchalantly, looking a bit shifty. “Oh, you know.”


“No. No I do not,” I growl, glaring at him. I am aware that I am clenching my fists under the table. God, my cousins are so irritating!


“Fine, she came up to say she supported my relationship with Luke, okay?” he says quickly, righting his chair with a bang, “While I was eating potatoes, no less. I almost died choking!”


You are in a relationship with Luke?” Scorpius sneers, causing me to kick him under the table –I’m not sure if I got him, that could have been anyone’s foot— and send him a reproaching look, “What happened to ‘you’re such a fucking queer Louis’?”


“Well he is!” Fred defends, “And it’s not a relationship, I snogged him once!”


Albus is looking like someone hit him around the face with a fish. “Wait, you snogged Luke?” he frowns, “I don’t understand, I thought you were a Roman road!”


“Well clearly I’m a roundabout,” Fred replies dryly, “Can we talk about Rose’s weird friends again?”


“Yes Albus, we’re not here to discuss how many boys Fred’s been kissing,” Scarlett chips in, “Let’s pool ideas! How do we stop Livi and Caspar throwing everything they have to hand at each other?”


“Oh, and while we’re here, if anyone has any ideas on how to reconcile Louis and Lysander, that would be nice,” I add hopefully.


There’s a silence while everyone stares blankly. Lily in particular looks as though all her energy is gone. Fred is the only exception, smirking away to himself.


“I’ve got nothing,” Albus concedes, “But since Fred is looking like the cat that ate the canary, perhaps he should say something.”


Fred shoots him a glare and stops looking so cheery. Another few moments pass, and I watch the dust falling in the light. I am inhaling that stuff! Gross!


“Lock them in a cupboard?” Lily suggests with a shrug, “They can snog it off.”


I stare at her in horror. My best friends cannot ‘snog it off’!


“I hope you mean Louis and Lysander,” Scarlett says dryly, “Because otherwise I reckon half of Hogwarts would be blown up.”


“I did mean them,” Lily frowns, “What are you talking about?”


Fred’s eyes are lighting up in joy – it is time to forget the thought of my friends snogging, everyone. Not going to happen.


“They would be a great couple!” he says delightedly, “Explosive!”


“Fred Weasley, are you implying that my friends are fighting because of sexual tension?” I hiss in a menacing fashion. He rolls his eyes and makes a vague hand gesture I am going to assume means ‘of course I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t want to mentally scar you’.


“Sure, let’s do that to Louis and Lysander. It always works out,” Scorpius says from beside me, “Like it worked when I shut Rose and Marius in a cupboard.”


“That was you?” I say in disbelief, managing to hit him with the back of my hand despite the lack of elbow room. He grins.


“I found it funny,” he smirks.




“Do you guys mind eye-shagging each other some other time? We’re trying to sort out your messed up friend situation, after all,” Lily rudely interrupts. Silence, child!


“Should we get them to sit down and talk about it?” James ventures.


I stare at him for a moment, to decide whether or not he’s being serious.


Oh. He is.


I start laughing at about the same time Luke strolls past. He walks just past us, then his brain seems to register what he saw and he steps backwards to talk to us.


“Hi,” he says awkwardly, and then, “There’s far too many of you around that table.”


“Yeah, there is,” Lily replies, looking like all her Christmases have come at once, “Pull up a seat, Luke!”


Fred is trying to catch my attention, jerking his head and making strange noises while Luke’s back is turned, but I ignore him. He has to deal with this: he brought it upon himself.


Luke collects a chair and puts it down by Fred – Lily looks like she’s about to jump up and down with glee – before glancing around the congregation.


“What are you all doing here?” he queries, noticing the lack of books or any relevant library equipment. I guess we can’t say we’re studying, then.


“Discussing,” Scarlett states, “Anyone got any other ideas for Louis?”


“Are you talking about Louis and Lysander’s fall out? I was there when that happened!” Luke exclaimed, “They were hissing at each other, and Louis was flapping his hands about—“


“See, that’s why I call him queer,” Fred informs us. I am going to pummel the crap out of him later!


“—then Lysander says something, and BAM!” Luke brings his fist down on the table, making me jump and hit my knee on the wood. “Louis punches him in the face. Lysander’s nose was bleeding when I left. Louis ran away straight after,” he adds thoughtfully, “Do you think that they’re not going to be friends now? They were really close last time I checked.”


Scarlett is laughing into the palm of her hand; ‘friends’? I don’t want them to be friends! I want Louis to tell his mum that he likes men!


I rub my knee thoughtfully, trying to make my brain function. Louis and Lysander. Lysander and Louis. Louis, Lysander, Lysander, Louis.


“How about mud wrestling?” Albus quips, “They can work out all their frustrations!”


I shoot him a death glare while Scorpius laughs. “Not funny, Al!”


“How is mud wrestling going to make Louis and Lysander be friends?” Luke asks.


“How would mud wrestling make you and hhnnnggg—“


Thankfully, Al has the good grace to clamp a hand over Lily’s mouth before she can complete that sentence. I have a sneaking suspicion it would have something to do with Fred.


Mentally, I try to communicate with Lily that we’re not supposed to know that Luke kissed Fred.


“I think,” Scorpius says slowly, “That we should make Olivia and Caspar sign a pact.”


“With their tongues,” Albus adds quickly, before Scarlett grabs hold of his ear, “OW! I meant it platonically!”


I snort – ooh, attractive, I bet Scorpius is drooling now – and turn to Scorpius with an eyebrow raised.


“How on Earth would that work?” I ask sceptically. He looks quite proud of himself, almost pleased that I’m not dismissing the idea. How adorable is he? KNEESMELTINGKNEESMELTING—


“Well, you could sit them down and explain how their ridiculous bitchy fights are upsetting you, and then make them sign an agreement to be civil to each other!”


There’s a general pause around the table as this idea – a good, serious idea – is considered.


“That sounds like it might work,” Scarlett says tentatively, “As long as they don’t reject the idea.”


“We shouldn’t give them a choice,” James replies firmly, “They’re causing enough bloody trouble as it is.”


“Well, glad that’s settled,” Scorpius grins, “Make Louis apologise nicely, okay? I’m hungry.”


Come to think of it, so am I. I try to stand up from the table, but unfortunately I’m wedged in. Scarlett notices this and realises that she can’t get out, either.


Ah, pish.


“On the count of three, everyone needs to try and stand up,” Scarlett orders, “One, two, three—“


As we simultaneously attempt to rise from our seats, there’s an ominous splintering sound and a large crack appears in the table. On the positive, we’re now standing up! For a moment we all pause and gaze at the damage we have done.


James sighs.


“To dinner?” I suggest hopefully, and we all madly dash from the library. Scorpius grabs my hand and for some crazy reason we’re sprinting along the corridor with James yelling at us.




It’s a bit too late for James to be yelling at us, because we’re already slowing down, bumbling around like only mad teenagers can. I crash into Scarlett and she falls into Albus – oh, what a big loss for both of them – whilst giggling madly.


Everything is quite lovely, you know? Lovely lovely lovely. Scorpius is lovely.


He pulls on my hand and kisses my cheek – there go my knees again!


What is a lovely lovely lovely moment is ruined by my stomach, which growls in an entirely unflattering way. Damn you, body!


So we start walking normally to the Great Hall, past Albus and Scarlett, who are snogging like their lives depend on it. I sense a dilemma approaching: where shall I sit?


Slytherin table, with Scorpius, making the great faux pas of a Golden Trio derivative? Or drag Scorpius to Gryffindor, where I can shamelessly mock him in my own comfort zone?


You know what would be funny? If we went and sat on the Hufflepuff table. Haha! It’s funny because neither of us are in Hufflepuff.


Time to bite the bullet. Scorpius pauses at the door, too, probably also wondering where to sit. I take a deep breath and start walking towards the Slytherin table. Well, I know a whole one person there, so... Yeah.


I sit down neatly and Scorpius, looking bemused, follows suit. “Why Slytherin? Won’t all this green infect you?” he questions.


“I had my jabs,” I reply smoothly. There are only deserts left. How long were we in the library?


Helping myself to apple pie, I note that very few people are left in the hall. Albus and Scarlett enter, and come to sit with us.


“This feels unnatural,” Al remarks, frowning at his fork, which has a Slytherin crest.


I have had a boyfriend on every table now. Oh, for crying out loud, I feel like such a slag! But at least, unlike Albus, I am acquainted with sitting somewhere other than with the Gryffindors. Tedious bunch. Lots of red hair.


Albus is also eating apple pie, while Scarlett is dishing up trifle; Scorpius is helping himself to my plate. Cheeky bugger! But also... how could I be mad at that face? How cute!


I suppose now I have to write the pact for my friends to sign. Tracking them down and making them sit in the same room is going to be a very boring job.


First I have to eat more pie. I swear that I only had a couple of spoonfuls there! Scorpius is pulling an innocent face – yeah, like that’ll fool me – and all the food suddenly vanishes. Albus moans.


“If all students could please return to their common rooms now,” Professor Chang says loudly, chivvying a few second years out of their seats, “Up early for lessons!”


I look at Scarlett. She nods and drags Albus from his seat, taking his hand in hers.


“I think we’d better get to the kitchens,” I sigh in a tragic fashion. In my head, I am doing a happy dance.


I’m going to have a slice of pie and potatoes and gravy and second helpings and thirds and fourths!


Sometimes, I wonder if anyone can tell I’m related to Ronald Weasley.


Seriously. I’m starving.


Scorpius takes my hand when I jump up, and we set off slower than I would have liked – not that I’d say so, because I’m holding Scorpius’ hand and OH MY GOD HE’S MY BOYFRIEND. It’s quite nice, wandering around Hogwarts with him beside me. I feel quite a lot like a twelve-year-old again, lost in a big school with the boy my dad told me to beat in everything. Which reminds me...


“I never tutored you!” I exclaim. Scorpius shrugs.


“We have ages yet,” he replies nonchalantly, “Besides, I’m seventeen soon, so I can practise in the holidays.”


Oh yeah. His birthday’s in November.


He’s going to be seventeen! Little Scorpy is growing up!


Then I’ll be seventeen, and then... we graduate. Out into the big wide world.


But for now, I’d like to stay and eat with my friends.


Pie, here I come!







A massive, and hugely grateful, thank you to all my lovely reviewers: Michaela, ScoRose4eva, Leah_Malfoy, ilovegeorgeweasley101, Ellie, Hermionniny9 and busybusybeta.

You guys are fabulous (:


Chapter 29: Treaties And Tantrums
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Long time, no see.

JK owns & pwns!


Problem 37: it took me an hour and a half to locate two people, and get them into a classroom in my free lesson. I am now missing lunch.


“Sign it,” Scarlett growls menacingly, jabbing the treaty with her forefinger. My two petulant, irritating friends both glower at her from the seats I forced them into. Caspar has her arms crossed, and Olivia looks like she’s fighting herself not to do the same.


“I don’t see why I have to sign an accord with her,” Caspar sniffs.


“Bite me, bitch,” Olivia shoots back, “I can’t believe I’m sitting next to you. I’ll be infected with—“


“Shut up!” Scarlett yells, “Why can’t you both just sign the fucking pact and go your separate ways?! I have politely asked you both to sign it, and you’ve both turned your noses up at it. You are not leaving until you have both signed and shaken hands in a civil fashion, and I swear to God if you do not do it in time for me to eat lunch and spend some time with my boyfriend I will kill you with my bare hands!”


She stands back and watches my idiot buddies struggle to say something that won’t make Scarlett shout louder. I’m sitting in the corner, watching Scarlett try and coerce them into basic civility. Caspar and Livi are sat in front of a desk, upon which is my carefully drafted and redrafted statement of polite behaviour, a quill, and a pot of ink.


After a moment, Caspar picks up the quill. Before she writes anything, she looks up and asks:


“Why exactly am I doing this?”


Before Scarlett goes absolutely mad, I stand up.


“You are going to do this,” I say in a measured voice, “Because I am watching my life as I know it breaking into weird little pieces. It’s our last year! Can’t you at least pretend to like each other, for my sake?”


“No,” Olivia replies, “Because that would be lying, and that is wrong.”


I’ve had enough of this.


“Fine then,” I say quickly, “Fine.”


I pick up my bag and run from the room, determined to get to a bathroom and stop gasping.








I burst into a bathroom, startling a couple of girls who were applying eyeliner by the sinks. Dropping my bag, I run into a cubicle and shut the door behind me.


I crouch by the toilet, not really feeling like vomiting, but feeling my stomach lurching anyway. I should have eaten earlier, instead of chasing those two around.




Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!


I’m done with them! Stupid fighting and duelling and crying at inappropriate moments. Speaking of, I’m all teary now.


Get a grip, Rose.


My attempts at breathing and not crying aren’t going so well. I’m still making weird gasping noises, and I’m shedding tears.


“Are you okay?” Someone – presumably one of the eyeliner chicks I disturbed – asks.


“Yeah,” I croak back, “Don’t mind me.”


“Do you want me to get someone?” They ask, “Or get you something?”


“Can I have my bag?” I reply shakily. Breathe in. Breathe out.


Said item is hastily shoved under my cubicle door. I mumble a thanks and delve into my bag, pushing aside books and quills to find a mirror. Taking a deep breath, I survey myself.


I look like shit.


There’s no nice way of saying it.


My hair is all over the place – all that running around in autumn wind will do that to you – my eyes are red, my face is blotchy. I’m in school uniform. Need I go on?


I still have to go to Charms.


Charms, which I share with Caspar and Evie.


And Scorpius! Scorpius can’t see me like this! He’ll realise I’m a weirdo and run away with some blonde thin person called Kelsey who dots her ‘i’s with a heart!


They’ll have children who wear nothing but pink.


Now I’m just getting hysterical. Honestly, I try to calm myself and get overtaken with other people’s lives.


I need food.


And a hug. A Scorpius-type hug.


Deep breaths, Rose. They are two people you can happily avoid for the rest of the year, and then never see again.


Despite the fact they are both in your house, your lessons, you sleep in the same room...


Yeah. Okay.


I stand up, brush off my clothes, and tentatively open the door. Thankfully, the girls who were here have cleared off. That leaves me alone to charm my face back to normality.


Taking deep breaths, I try and think of happy things, like kittens and food. Unfortunately my mind is still firmly focused on the fact I have lost my best friends because they are too busy fighting with each other. So I just pull my hair back into a pony-tail and walk off.


If I can’t have friends, I’ll have food instead.


Almost immediately after I leave the bathroom, Louis latches onto me.


“Rose,” he says softly, “I have no idea what you did, but thank you. He’s talking to me again!”


Wait, what?


“I—er—you’re welcome, Louis,” I reply hesitantly, “What exactly do you think I did?”


“Well, extolled my virtues or something, I don’t know!” he grins, “What did you do?”


Tell the truth, or take the praise.


Tell the truth, or take the praise.


Tell the truth, or – SOD IT.


“That’s for me to know,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows. See, I knew family were good for something! Why do I need friends when I have a family the size of an army?


Louis laughs, and runs off to sit at the Ravenclaw table. Right next to Lysander. The temptation to conjure love hearts above their heads is so big right now...


Scorpius waves from the Gryffindor table.




I squint a bit, but it’s still definitely Scorpius... sitting next to Lily and opposite Albus... on the Gryffindor table.


The world has gone mad.


Even as I sit down I know the world has gone mad, because Albus is looking at Scorpius with respect. As if he’s not about to hex him into next Tuesday.


“Weird, isn’t it?” Lily comments, “Al actually invited Scorpius to sit over here, too. It’s like I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole.”


I chuckle in agreement, but in my head I’m doing a happy victory dance. Only a couple of weeks ago I was in the hospital wing because they were fighting, now they’re eating sandwiches together!


I’m so proud.


“So Louis looks happy,” I say pointedly, hoping someone knows what happened.


“Yeah,” Al smirks, “I might have threatened Lysander back into talking to him.”


“With my help,” Scorpius adds, “And we didn’t threaten him, we politely informed him that he was going down the wrong path.”


I sigh. Just when I thought people were being nice. “So let’s get this straight, you threatened him into being Louis’ friend again, because that is what normal people do when two idiots have an argument.”


Al shrugs. “Pretty much, yeah,” he concedes, “But it worked, didn’t it?”


I have to say it did. But I’d never admit that.


I grab a ham sandwich from a basket and take a bite. Thank heavens for bread; it’s so tasty!


“So how are Olivia and Caspar?” Scorpius asks, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.


I lower the sandwich. Is there a nice way to say what I’m thinking? “They’re both fucking idiots.”


As it turns out, nope.


“Oooh, that sounds great,” Lily says sarcastically, “Have they signed the treaty, or not?”


“Nope,” I sigh, “They have not.”


Scorpius reaches to hold my hand across the table. Albus groans.


“Please don’t start snogging in front of my innocent eyes,” he moans dramatically, “All I want is to keep my lunch down.”


“Shut up Potter,” Scorpius replies.


The Gryffindor common room is full of people. It’s raining outside, meaning Quidditch practise has been cancelled, therefore the team is bundled into one corner. It’s awkward to say the least. I’m sat next to Luke, which means that I’m being shot glares from Olivia, and beside Lily. Caspar is glaring at Olivia in turn. Venus is awkwardly squashed between Albus and Luke.


I’m sure that Luke has been talking, but I’ve just been watching the awkwardness of the situation take hold.


I’m interrupted from my observations as Luke bangs a book on the table. “ENOUGH!” he roars, “Anyone who doesn’t concentrate on what I’m saying is off the team!”


I mutter an apology, and resolve to at least pretend to pay attention. Luke looks around at us, and sets his jaw.


“Team practise. Tomorrow at six,” he announces firmly, “In the morning.”


I hang my head. There’s a general moaning sound coming from everyone, but not too loud, because Luke’s already irritated.


“Okay, cool, are we going to try out those rolls?” Albus asks. Oh, for crying out loud, he was paying attention!


“Yes,” Luke replies, looking momentarily shocked that someone has been listening to him, “And we’ll do some drills too.”


I’m so excited.


No, really, up early with a bunch of people who can barely stop glaring at each other for five minutes. What’s worse, the only kind of roll I’m interested in at that time in the morning comes with butter.


Oh well.


As I stand to leave – I’m going to sit with Lucy and Lily, because I’m not angry at them... yet – Caspar catches my wrist softly.


“Rose,” she murmurs, “Can we walk?”


I nod, and we wander out of the common room. I’m still pissed at her. Therefore, she can do all the talking, because I’m sure as hell not going to make this a friendly chat.


She opens the door to an Ancient Runes classroom and gestures for me to go in. I hate these classrooms. Far too many symbols on the walls. There is a definite reason I decided to study Ancient Runes on my own instead of taking it as a lesson.


Closing the door behind me softly, she turns to look at me. I am a picture of disapproval. I have my arms crossed, an eyebrow raised – shit. I look like my mum!


“I’m really sorry,” she chokes out, and her voice cracks on the last word. Oh my days, she’s crying. “I-I didn’t want to hurt you, or Harry, or anyone.”


If I keep fighting the urge to be a good friend here, I think I might burst a vessel. I step forwards and embrace Caspar, who is now the human equivalent of a tap. She wraps her arms around me tightly and keeps sobbing.


“Ssh, it’s okay,” I say in a comforting way, because that always works. Not.


“W-what can I tell H-harry?” she wails, “It’s m-my fault!”


Well, yes. I guess so. It was kind of her fault for doing it.


“The truth?” I volunteer, “You have to tell him the truth before someone tells him something else.”


Letting go of me, she swipes at her face. She looks a mess, all smudged mascara and misery.


“I don’t know how,” she whispers, “I don’t know how to tell him that I messed everything up.” Her face crumples again and I steer her towards a chair. If she’s going to be hysterical, she might as well be hysterical without collapsing.


“You have to tell him soon, Caspar,” I say firmly, “James is going to say something awful and insensitive otherwise.”


She nods her head up and down a few times. “You’re right,” she sighs, taking deep breaths, “I should do it now, before I lose my nerve.”


So... this has been keeping your nerve?


“Do you want me to fix your make-up?” I ask politely. Caspar nods. I wave my wand in a tight loop and flick it at her face. Ach, it’ll do, I’m not too good at it. She still looks a bit messy, but... more normal. And that’s good.


Taking a deep breath, she leaves the room. I follow her, because I’m rather worried she’s going to start crying again. And friends don’t let friends cry hysterically in the common room.


She’s still taking deep breaths as she walks over to where Harry is sitting. I stay by the door, watching. She says something and he looks around, smiling. His friend rolls his eyes then moves away. Caspar doesn’t take a seat but keeps talking as Harry’s face falls. She’s shaking slightly, like she might start crying again. Harry stands up and says something, his face hard. Caspar covers her mouth with her hand and takes a step back, before lowering it again to reply.


I really want to know what’s happening, but I know if I go over I will probably interfere and that would be very Not Good.


They’ve attracted some attention from other people near them now, people who are pretending not to stare at the couple who are obviously fighting. Harry says something, but before Caspar can reply he’s walking away, shaking his head.


“Harry!” Caspar calls, “Wait!”


She’s on the verge of tears, hurrying after him. He brushes past me and leaves the room. I catch Caspar as she tries to follow him, dragging her backwards towards out room.


“Come on,” I hiss, “Now is not the time to keep talking to him, let him cool down.”


She submits and walks swiftly away up the stairs. I follow her, conscious that people are staring.


Don’t you all have things to do?


Read a book or something.


Caspar is lying on her bed, staring up at her canopy.


“Life could be so simple,” she says, “He said he didn’t care what I’d done, that he loved me, but he wasn’t listening. He only heard ‘I did something’ and he started ignoring me, saying he didn’t mind. Then I said I slept with Evie and he asked me who else I’d been fucking, and I just... I said no one else, and suddenly he did care, and he was disgusted and he left. I should have just... said it was over. Done. Start again.”


“You did the right thing,” I reply soothingly, as if the right thing ever meant anything to anyone. Even I scoff at the Right Thing!


Caspar pats her cheeks and sits up. “I guess I have to see what happens now. He’s angry, Livi’s angry, you’re angry.” She pauses. “Sorry for not signing your treaty. It was very well thought out.”


I snort. “Well, thank Merlin it worked out so well. I’m going to have a shower. Don’t do anything dumb while I’m not watching.”


I’m sure I can work this friendship business out. It would be sad to lose two brilliant friends over something stupid, like them trying to kill each other.


Or my wanting to kill them for being so annoying.


All I have to do is keep myself calm and think of Scorpius. Simple!







Chapter 30: Letters With Crests
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Ah, mia amici, I haf brought for yooh a new chap-tur of which JK may take ze credit <3


Problem 38: I have a letter from the Malfoy household.


I can’t stop staring at it. It has a silver crest on it, which is how I know where it’s from, but I haven’t yet dared to open it. Truth be told, I’m a little worried that it’ll say something about me being involved with Scorpius.


I mean, Mr Malfoy did stop Scorpius from having any contact with me before. This time, I’ve got a letter. This has to mean something.


Perhaps if I ignore it, it will disappear!


Right then.


Back to my toast.


“Aren’t you going to open that?” Caspar asks. We’ve come to a sort of unspoken truce: we’re friends again, but I get to give her ‘I have the moral high ground’ look whenever I like and she can’t challenge it. So far, it’s going quite well.


I glare at the Evil Letter and take a bite of my honey-soaked toast. I can almost sense Caspar’s exasperation. And Olivia’s glances. Oh yes, I can tell she’s looking at Caspar and I and she’s probably throwing a pout or a haughty expression in too, but there’s no way I’m going to look back at her and give her the satisfaction of knowing that I’m still going to be looking at her too.


Because that would be getting dangerously close to Square One, which is essentially me being friends with both Caspar and Olivia and them clawing each other’s eyes out behind my back.


This way, Olivia can safely break up with Luke – oh, it’s not going to be a pretty sight, but I’m sure it’s coming – and the whole Caspar and Evie wanting to have lots of sex thing can be worked out with minimal casualties.


And I can focus on this letter.


Or focus on not focusing on it, as it were. If I push it under my plate just so...


Scorpius hasn’t arrived to breakfast this morning, so I can’t even ask him whether his dad is about to yell at me through the medium of words. Last time I met Mr Malfoy, he was hauling me out of Hogsmeade, and looking smug about it, too.




“Rose,” Lily says under her breath, dropping onto the bench beside me, “We need to address the Louis issue.”


“What issue?” I sigh, “It’s his own fault.”


She pulls a face at me. “Very nice of you to notice, but he’s freaking out. Do you know what Auntie Fleur said in her last letter? She asked him about his job choices, and then whether he thought that he would meet a nice girl soon.”


I stare at her blankly. “...Yes?” I finally question, and Lily huffs at me.


“For God’s sake Rose, he’s freaking out because now he thinks that Auntie Fleur will hate him for not having a girlfriend!” she exclaims, taking a slice of toast from the rack, “I heard he broke something in Ravenclaw tower in frustration.”


“Louis can’t break things, he’d feel guilty and fix it,” Caspar says dryly, “Stop listening in at the bathrooms.”


“It was in the paper!” Lily defends, drawing a copy of Felicity’s awful editorial from her bag. “See! It says right here –“


“Is that me on the cover?” Caspar questions, her voice stone cold. “If that girl has put me – Christ, it is.”


“Oh dear,” I say softly, taking the newspaper from Lily to her frustration. It looks like a front page expose concerning the scandalous love lives of the Seventh years. Indeed, Caspar is featured, as am I. And Olivia. And... Albus?


“I know, it’s weird,” Lily comments, “Look how they described Albus.”


“’Sexy Seventh Year Strumpet’? Really? That’s disgusting!” Caspar scrunches her nose up. “’Looks like the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team are slatterns’?! That girl, I swear, I am going to come back and haunt her when I’m dead, and write stories for a ghostly newspaper in which I chronicle each and every one of her bowel movements.”


“Nice,” Lucinda drawls, leaning over my shoulder to see the article, “Really classy. Remind me why I am supposed to be your friend?”


“How come you’re not in here?” I shoot back, “What happened to your great sexual exploits?”


She shrugs, sitting neatly beside me. “Never got around to it. Decided to focus on my studies. Good morning, Evie.”


Evie materialises beside Caspar, and tentatively takes her hand. She smiles in reply. It’s so mushy, I’m shocked that they’re not breathing marshmallows.


“Well, since no one seems to care about Louis’ issues, I guess I’ll solve them myself,” Lily sniffs haughtily, reclaiming her newspaper.


“No, I do care!” I protest.


“I care more,” Lucinda says gleefully, “I hear that he’s so angry he’s destroying Ravenclaw tower.”


Lily tosses her hands into the air, throwing me a sigh. “Thank you! I knew that at least someone had to have been keeping an ear to the ground!”


“Ooh, I was so sure that they would just fall into love without another hitch,” Lucinda moans, twirling her hair around her finger as she reaches for the porridge, “He punched him in the face, you know?”


“Sweet Merlin,” I moan, “I have been up since five o’clock doing Quidditch practice, and all you guys can find to talk about is my cousin’s sexual identity crisis.”


“My thighs hurt from the running drills,” Lily says in my general direction, before turning back to Lucinda. I roll my eyes and take a last bite of toast before fishing the letter out from beneath my plate and standing up to leave. Caspar raises a hand in acknowledgment, but most of her attention seems to be on Evie right now, as they quietly and earnestly discuss something. I don’t know. I’ll ferret it out of her later.


My life has just gotten weirder this year.


I mean, it was weird before, but kissing Scorpius and Lily’s meow and mice... it’s all been odd. And teary. There’s been a lot of crying this year, which is odd. Must be the NEWTs.


They are not going badly for me, but they’re not much fun, either.


Speaking of not much fun... this letter.


It’s like a massive weight in my hand, heavier than my school bag, which is crammed full of books and random bottles of ink, so... Pretty heavy. Goddamn Mr Malfoy, sending me a suspicious letter so close to my next rehearsal, and more importantly, the first Quidditch match of the season. The draw means it’s Hufflepuff versus Slytherin, but still. I need to be on top form for intimidation.


I wander from the hall in the vague direction of Defence Against the Dark Arts. I’m sure that I will learn much from Professor Bell, and shall be enlightened in many ways. Or, alternately, she will give me back my essay on the threat vampires possess in terms of curative measures, and then we will learn some more about things that could kill us. Coming up to the first round of practical lessons, with any luck.


I need to read this letter.




I need to get to class.


I speed up to a pace with a purpose, passing the meandering student population and the painting of Augustus the gondolier. The further I get into the school, the sparser the patches of students get, and there are even some paintings still asleep as I stride past. It’s sort of nice, being early. I haven’t had too much experience with that recently. I’ve been missing lessons for friends, and then I was ill, and now I need to panic and catch up. Damn, damn, damn and blast.


I make it into the class room before Professor Bell has even arrived, and tuck myself into the corner furthest from the door at the back of the room. And then I stare at the letter some more. Maybe if I stare at it for long enough, it will vanish and then I won’t have to worry about it any longer.


My traitorous hands are breaking the seal on the letter. Pealing it open. Holding it at eye level.


Dear Miss Weasley,


With respect I must inform you that my son must focus on his studies. He cannot afford to be in a relationship. Please terminate your engagements with him.




Draco Malfoy


The unwritten “you are a fucking Weasley” reads loud and clear.


“Great,” I sigh to myself, and stow the letter away as people begin streaming through the door. “Just great.”


Scorpius remains a thought in the back of my head until my free lesson, at which point I set off over the grounds to where Scarlett pointed.


“Near a tree” were her helpful words, although I’m not even sure that she’d seen him in the last couple of hours. Or heard me ask the question. Perhaps she just guessed.


She’s good like that.


Oh Merlin I need to talk to him. Properly. About serious relationship things. Without snogging.


This is going to be difficult.


Tramping over the grounds in my uniform and a scarf, letting the wind slowly wreak havoc on my hair, is not the best way to spend my free. But this letter means that it’s time to Talk. In capitals.


Oh God.


I am not ready for this! It is a very short time since I last had to Talk to someone, and that time I was being sort-of dumped by a boy I was sort-of dating for a stupidly short amount of time.


I can see blonde hair. That must be Scorpius. I’d recognise that head anywhere.


I can’t believe that I’m willingly doing this. Pausing, I take the letter out of my school bag and take a deep breath. Time to be the bigger person.


As I approach Scorp, he looks up and offers me a quirk of the lips. He is also holding a letter that looks suspiciously like it has a Malfoy crest. I sit down next to him, leaning back against the oak he’s half-hiding behind.


“I’ll show you mine if you open yours,” I volunteer bravely, poking him with the letter.


He sighs. “Alright then. On the count of three. One, two, three...”


We both open the letters as slowly as is possible, and then I take the second look at the most damning letter I have received in my life.


“’Dear Scorpius,’” Scorpius reads, “’I have heard rumours that you have been involving yourself in the company of those who are most likely to drag you down. Your aim this year was to focus on your education. If I hear that you are no longer working towards your studies, I will be forced to remove you from Hogwarts to assist you with your exams. Signed, your father.’”


Scorpius has a face like thunder. He pulls out his wand and the edge of the letter starts curling into a flame, paper crackling.


“Hey, it’s okay,” I say softly, intending to offer comfort – I’m sure I can find it somewhere – but he huffs angrily and opens his mouth to cut me off.


“It’s -- I can’t let his choices rule my life!” He cradles his head in his arms, elbows rested on his knees. From inside his impromptu cocoon, he mumbles “I don’t know what to do.”


Well, me neither. I’ve never been given an ultimatum for a relationship from someone’s dad before – a warning, once, but that was one time and it hardly counts. All I wanted to do this year was... well, a few things, but mainly it was pass my exams and go. But suddenly everyone has problems, even my teachers, and obviously I am supposed to be dealing with that too.


This would all be easier if I was a hermit.


Hermits have it about right: no people, no problems. Sweep out your cave for a laugh, if you’re feeling adventurous.


But I’m not a hermit.


I’m a Weasley.


I have three weeks until I’m supposed to perform at a ball, five days until I have an essay due on narcoleptic essences, roughly half an hour until I’m due to go to Charms, which I share with Scorpius.


Scorpius, my boyfriend, who is practically in the foetal position. Time to take charge.


“Have you been to any lessons today?” I ask, smoothing the tuft of hair visible behind his left ear. Scorpius shrugs. “Okay. Well, clearly I am having a negative effect on your studies if you’ve spent all this time out here.” This draws out a half-hearted breath of laughter, one that could be lost in the wind. I should be a comedian. “We’re going to sit here for exactly one minute more – no more, no less. Then, we are going to go to Charms together, you are going to sit nicely and take notes because it’s probably important to show some willing. You will attend the rest of your lessons like the excellent student you are, and finally, sometime between the end of lessons and the start of curfew, we are going to figure this thing out. Okay?”


Scorpius has emerged from his arms, and I manage to give him a smile, my letter still sitting on my lap. The side of his mouth tilts up.


“You’re pretty smart for a Weasley, I guess,” he teases quietly, taking my hand in his and lacing out fingers together.


“You’re not bad, for a Malfoy,” I reply with a grin, “Come on! Minute’s up, time to go.”


Scorpius pouts in a dramatic fashion, but I will not be swayed, using the tree to help push me to my feet. And I swear, if I wasn’t in uniform and had even the slightest level of elegance, it could have been a graceful climb.


Still attached to my hand, Scorpius stands up and brushes himself off. He plants a kiss on my cheek, and we wander back to the castle, leaving the letters to blow in the wind, the remnants of Scorpius’ still smoking.