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Cadillac Black by midnightshadow89

Format: Novella
Chapters: 2
Word Count: 4,311
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse

Genres: Drama, Fluff, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, A. Longbottom, F. Longbottom, Lily, James, Regulus, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily

First Published: 08/09/2009
Last Chapter: 09/21/2009
Last Updated: 09/21/2009


A soap opera of Sirius portions! Isn’t enough that quidditch is out for Cadillac’s blood, but what in Merlin’s wizarding world caused her to marry Sirius Black on New Years Eve? And why can’t she remember it?

Chapter 1: Prologue: Quidditch and Maraudadorks
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Prologue: Quidditch and Maraudadorks

15 minutes.
15 minutes.
15 minutes.

I could have thought of a million things I could have done with the fifteen minutes I always ended up putting in at the hospital wing. For instance, I could have actually written my potions essay without having to bribe my best mate Jayne (who only goes by Jay), to do it the day its due. Or I could have read the first chapter of a novel, I mean, I don’t read, but it’s got to be better then the hospital wing. I could have Lily Evans give me a lecture on something totally useless, don’t get me wrong, we’re mates, but she’s still Head Girl.

All were the options of what I would have rather been doing with my time then spending it in the hospital wing listening to Madam Pomfrey lecture me on safety. It wasn’t my fault I had been prone to Quidditch related injuries on a monthly base.

It wasn’t my fault- Quidditch just wasn’t my friend. It had started back when I was a secound year. I had been a pretty brilliant flyer, but when I tired out for the house team, James Potter (known as the Potter Plant by Jay ‘cause hearing “POTTER!” for seven years only made Jay think of her mum planting plants in her potters) threw a quaffle at me by accident and broke my nose.

It wasn’t a big deal, but then the snitch (yes the uncatchable snitch) ran into me. I didn’t know anyone who been hit with a snitch once in history. I would be the only one- and the snitch going as fast it was, left a nasty scar on my arm that’s still there until this day. Then I fell off my broom, and you know, after that one tryout with five injuries, they thought it was best I’d stay off the team.

It would have been nice if my curse with quidditch ended there, but it just followed me around after that. Things like rouge quaffles, bludgers flying into me at games (Madam Pomfrey banned me from attending the games pretty quickly), or dumb things like the time I got detention from Slughorn and had to polish the quidditch trophies in the Great Hall, I must have hit the a shelves because they all fell on my head and gave me a concussion.

This particle day the quidditch injury was a book that had been accidently dropped by Sam Cartwright (who was too busy worrying about if the guys where looking up her skirt) on my foot. If she had only dropped it from a few feet it would have been all right, but since she was up at the top of one of the sacks, the book broke several of my toes.

“Cadillac, it might have been nice if you didn’t show up again this term. For once,” Madame Pomfrey muttered, as she wrapped up my foot. “The bones won’t heal until tomorrow- so you’ll have to hobble around a bit. Don’t get yourself hurt!”

“I wish,” I muttered back, she always made it sound as if I wanted to be here. What I really wanted was to be rid of my quidditch curse.

Luckily for me a group of boys had charged into the room, distracting her from continuing her lecturing. Unfortunately it was Maraudadorks (another Jay nickname). The Maraudadorks were actually the Marauders, who thought they were the coolest guys at Hogwarts because they were always getting into trouble and always had girls flocking after them. Jay added the dork bit because they all had the highest marks in our classes, and we had caught them a few times flipping out about getting an essay done, so in reality as cool as they were- they were still dorks. Lily, Jay and I had come up with nicknames for the lot of them.

First there was James Potter (aforementioned as the Potter Plant). He was the leader of the group, and was always playing with his hair, or throwing around a snitch. I used to think he was an arrogant little bugger, but after the true he made with Lily I realized he really wasn’t that bad.

He was Jay’s least favourite, but I only thought that because she secretly had a crush on him. (She had this habit of bringing him up totally out of context ALL THE TIME and then denying it). I had no desire for her to admit this ‘cause James was so in love with Lily Evans it didn’t matter (and Lily fancied him too, but wasn’t ready to admit that to him, probably because she was still afraid to admit it to herself).

Thankfully that year James had decided to cut back on the flirting with Lily and was doing his best to try to be her friend. It was amusing to the rest of the school because he was always in a state of red face.

Then there was Moody Boy, also known as Remus Lupin. I actually agreed with this nickname, because Remus always looked as if he had to fix all the problems in the Wizarding-verse. When we were fourteen Jay tried to get him to tell her his problems, via snogging, but he was too much of a gentleman to take advantage of it.

Jay has a million theories about Mr. Lupin’s problems. Her favourite is that he is has a bastard child he conceived when he was ten. Jays was a little bit of nutter, so much that his real problems were far from the ones she imaged.

Of course, we had all heard about his “dying mum” when the Maraudadorks were whispering in the halls. At the time this seemed like a dumb thing to keep a secret. So what his mum was dying? I thought it was all the more impressive that he was so dedicated you could tell by his face when he came back. I used to tell myself if there was one Marauder you would date it would be Remus Lupin. However, he never dated, although you could tell he wanted to.

Of course the blob had always been with them, the Marauders, but that was being mean. It hadn’t been Peter Pettigrew’s fault that he was really just sort of dull. He wasn’t as exciting as the rest of his mates. He wasn’t a charmer but he was a complete twat. He was the type of gent you think, “Oh, its Pettigrew, yea he’s alright.” Jay never had anything to say about him, and pretended he didn’t exists, but I mostly thing that’s cause he asked her out once. In a strange twist of things, Peter was always the Marauder with a serious girlfriend, but I guess that was because James didn’t have any eyes for anyone but Lily, and Sirius couldn’t stay with anyone for more then a day.

And then there’s the puppy- personally the puppy was my least favourite Marauader. Sirius Black had this habit of having a new girlfriend everyday, and he was always hanging over some other at the same time. Either that or he was tormenting a Slytherin or whining to his mates to do his homework because he was too lazy. He was like a puppy that wandered around lost, and if he was getting love from someone all the time would cry until you feed him a bone.

True, before New Years I don’t think the two of us had ever had a conversion, but he was the type of bloke that was either loved by half the school, or loathed by them. Before that night I was one of the very few in the middle. I didn’t give a damn about him either way, but that day in the Hospital Wing, I wanted to hate him. Maybe it was his fault maybe it had been mine we would never find out, but I wanted to hate him because he hadn’t noticed, and I would have to tell him. It was embarrassing and I wished I could have ignored the whole thing but it was impossible.

He had been the last person I wanted to see that day, but I figured I had been avoiding it (meaning him) enough for the past couple days, and if anything was going to be done I was going to have to talk to him some time this century. Luckily the usual Black cloud of girls hadn’t been with him, it was just the dorks so I just hobbled over to him, and tried to be as nice as I could about it.

“Hey Sirius, I was wondering if I talk to you about something…”

He looked at me, and blinked those dark eyes that any other girl would fall for, “Do I know you?”

We had gone to school together for seven years, and he didn’t know who the hell I was? I did what any girl would do if she had accidently married that fool a month ago when she was drunk on New Years, slapped him, and then hobbled out of the hospital wing.

Chapter 2: The Slap!
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Chapter One: The Slap!


“Password!” The fat lady asked me.

“gobstones! Muteeffing black!” I stormed up to the girl’s dorm leaving a wake of scared first years. Jayne wasn’t there; then again she had never around. She was sort a useless best mate. Lily had been, and looked up from her potions essay to glance at me worriedly.

“Alright there, Cadillac?”

“I FREAKING HATE SIRIUS BLACK!” Of course I hadn’t been prone to random Mauradork outbursts so she raised her eyebrows in worry. In fact, other the times we made fun of them, or talked about Lily’s massive crush on James, I had never brought them up.

“What happened?”

“I hate Sirius Black.” I muttered.

“Yes, you just said that, care to explain?” Lily went on, “because you’re acting like I used act when I hated James. Do you have a crush on him?”

“Err. Yea, that. And he like, has no idea who I am.” That was all a lie, but I didn’t know how to explain my drunken New Years activities, partly because I had no idea what happened that night. If the Ministry hadn’t sent a congrats on my marriage, I would have never figured it out. Well, maybe I would have if I had tried to marry someone else later on.

Why me? I mean, finding out that I had snogged Black that night would have been more than enough, but what in Merlin’s name possessed us to get married? And how much did I drink that night to completely blackout (no pun, really) the whole night?

Lily had seemed to buy but only for moment, “Cadillac we’ve gone to school with him for almost seven years now, of course he knows who you are.”

I scoffed, flipping on my bed.

“Since when do you like Black? Did you just wake up this morning and decide it?”

“Yea. Totally. That. I mean have you seen his eyes? AWWWW.” All right, I probably shouldn’t have said that. I had been overdoing it, and Lily wasn’t the head for no reason.

“Cadillac, you’re lying. You always say totally when you’re lying.”

“I totally don’t.” Oh, shit. I totally did. Crap. “Okay, fine. I don’t have a crush on him. I just hate him and I can’t explain it. I mean this anger took a hold of me and I just slapped him.”

Lily’s eyes were wide, because she knew me well enough that I wasn’t lying about that. “You slapped Sirius Black? Why…”

Of course telling her that I married the idiot would explain everything, but since I was still half convinced I was dreaming that letter, I kept lying. “I have a reason, I do. I just can’t tell you.”

She rolled her eyes and muttered, “so effing weird” under her breath. “You and Jayne are both complete nutters you know. At first I thought it was just Jayne, but it’s you too isn’t it?”

That was harsh. “I am not as nutters as Jayne. I don’t wander off into the forbidding forest to talk to creatures that don’t exist! And I don’t call James Potter the Potter Plant! I have a reason, but if I tell you… I just can’t! It’s awful, and I don’t want to tell you!” I stomped my foot in the moment and screamed as the pain went up my leg. “mother effing!”

“Are you having a breakdown? I’m worried, other then your loosing battle with quidditch you are usually normal.” Lily muttered. She noticed my cast then. “Did he break your foot?!”

“No. He didn’t break my foot, but he did… I mean she did, Sam Cartwright, I mean. You know how her skirts are way to short, and she’s always pulling them done when she’s looking at books… anyways, she dropped one of my foot. Guess what it was about Lily. Guess?”

She was fighting not to roll her eyes, “Quidditch?”

“Sodding Quidditch! Europe’s best catchers!”

Lily never believed in my quidditch curse, which always pissed me off. Seriously, is six years of scars not enough for that girl? In fact I made sure to tell her all these things as we walked down to breakfast. Thankfully the only Marauder at the Gryffindor table was Peter, who was to busy trying to chat up Sam Cartwright, also known as the girl who drops quidditch books on peoples feet at six-thirty in the morning.
“So why are you mad at Sirius Black, again?” Lily tried to insert carefully between bites of egg. I should have known she wouldn’t let it go.

“I’m not telling you,” I muttered.

“Did you snog him or something?”

“I wish that was only it. ‘cause I could get though that with just a wounded pride. No, this will follow me around for the rest of my life.” I sounded very angry and glaring at my eggs with a huge passion.

“You didn’t shag him!?” Lily whispered as if shagging him was equal to murder.

“Merlin’s sodding sock, why is that the first thing you think of?” I hissed.

Lily rolled her eyes at me, “Maybe, because your being unusually vague? Are you really not going to tell me?”

“Maybe on my death bed.”

“It can’t be that bad.”


Evans didn’t let up, and pestered me even till we started classes.

Thankfully Slughorn canceled Potions, and I wanted to dance though the snow in excitement. I loathed Potions especially since I always had been partnered with Snape. Granted the git aced Potions, but he was the least pleasant person I have ever met. I don’t know why but Lily had a soft spot for him, and always got huffy every time I threatened to curse the greasy hair off of him. He didn’t deserve her pity; he was going to be hated if he insisted on acting like a git.

Janye who had finally appeared after breakfast was more then willing to go snow dancing. Lily and I exchanged looks over the obvious hickey under her sweater. Jayne would never admit to the evidence that she had been snogging anyone so we didn’t bother asking. But it explained why none of us could find her recently.

Some how the Marauders (James and Remus mostly) heard we were going out in the snow and challenged us to a snowball fight.

Remus, who is really a decent sort of a lad keep staring at me in this off putting kind of way so I nearly glared at him in return, “What?!”

“You slapped Sirius.” Of course Remus Lupin could never phrase anything rudely, so I was glad he was the one asking and not James, who seemed too busy trying not to say anything to Lily, and was playing with his hair way too much.

“That’s between me and him.” It came out all rudely and I was sorry I said it to poor Remus who really didn’t deserve it. I felt badly so I lied, “He totally tried to snog me when he was drunk.”

Remus rolled his eyes at the thought. “I’d apologize for his behavior but there isn’t anything I can do. Sirius is Sirius. Maybe one day he’ll settle down and get married. But I completely doubt it.”

Thankful Peter threw a snowball at him before he caught me choking on my own spit.



“Ow!” I rubbed my cheek. “What the fuck was that for?”

“What the hell did you do Cadillac?” James raised his eyebrows as he watched her hobble out of the hospital wing. “Did you break her foot?”

“No! I didn’t do anything to her!”

“It doesn’t look like it,” Remus pointed out, “That was pretty good slap. Your cheek is still red.”

“Thanks Moody. It’s not like I can’t feel it. ” I muttered slapping Remus as he tried to get a better look.

“Oh Merlin, not you lot!” Madame Pomfrey groaned across the room. This was the point I would have flirted a bit with her, but since I was pretending to have a head injury I had to refrain.

“Do I know her? Do I know her James? Do I know who I am? MERLIN WHO AM I?”

I overdid it and had Pomfrey rolling her eyes trying to chase us out of the hospital wing, “Not even close Black, off to class you lot.”

“But I could have brain damage! I had a bludger thrown to my head!” I whined, trying to pull off what I like to call the classic Black charm. “Shouldn’t I stay here until I’m better?”

“Fine, it would be wrong to send you off, but Potter, Lupin get to class.”

My horrid mates shrugged and left me alone for the rest of the morning, which would be spent trying to figure out why Cadillac Aldridge was angry enough with me to slap me. Of course, girls have slapped me before but I usually I know the reason before hand. I couldn’t remember flirting or snogging, or forgetting to owl her, because to my best knowledge Cadillac and I had never really conversed before. Sure there was the time she said, “nice one Black!” when I pranked someone, but that was about it.

It took a few hours for me to remember that maybe I had done something to Cadillac on New Years because I still can’t remember anything I did that night, because all I remember was teasing James about his tie, and then waking up the next morning passed out across the Potter’s kitchen and my motorbike broken in the hedges.

Remus, or Moony as we call him, came up to visit me during lunch, and as all good mates do, he didn’t bring me any food, “Bad luck there mate. Slughorn actually canceled Potions today, and we had a snowball fight instead. Lily nearly murdered Prongs.”

“What?! Bloody hell.” Of course the one time I successfully sneak out of potions was the one time there was no potions.

“Wow. Your cheek is still red!”

I gasped thinking how awful my face probably looked at this moment and Moony laughed, “Kidding mate. You still have no idea what you did to her?”

“Maybe I tired to pick her up on New Years since I can’t remember anything I did that night. Was she at the party?”

“Yea. She came with Lily and her barmy mate Jayne. You talked to her that night, I remember. You had this whole chat about your motorbike. You had already been pissed at that point. I’m not sure you were talking about your actual motorbike.” He laughed as I smiled smugly.

“Even when drunk I am in fine form.”

Remus shook his head. “You drank the dodgy Russian firewhiskey didn’t you? After James clearly told you not too?”

“No I didn’t!”

Remus didn’t break eye contact. Damn him.

“Fine. I did. So what?”

“Dodgy firewhiskey equals permanent memory lost, Padfoot. Did James explain that to you? You weren’t listening were you?”

“Do I ever?” That was true. Why listen?

Remus looked sort of serious at that point. “Remember James told you he drank some of that and forgot his parents had an important dinner party that night?”

I shook my head as Remus rolled his eyes.

“Anyways. He drunk that stuff and got so pissed he thought to play quidditch in his knickers.”

“Excellent,” I muttered. My eyes must have had the look to them because Remus gave me one his whole, ‘Merlin, what am I going to do with you Black,’ looks that I saw more then once a day.

“Don’t repeat that story in front of Lily, Padfoot!”

His warning was already too late. I already knew how I was going to repeat the story.

In the true fashion of all good mates he left me with this, “Oh, Cadillac told me why she was mad at you. Gota go, late for Charms.”

Sodding mate my arse.

I got let out around dinnertime, mostly because I spent the afternoon asking Madame Pomfrey if she wanted kids and if she need any help. Of course along with my dismissal were several detentions for inappropriate behavior.

James was red in the face when I sat down at the table so I figured he had been talking to Lily previously. She was sitting nearby looking smug.

Peter was poking James, “Prongs got beat up by Lily, and his face is still red from the snowball! That makes two of you!”

“My face isn’t red anymore!” I growled, “And you lot couldn’t even bring me lunch!”

“Oh sod off,” James muttered, clearly still angry with Lily for whatever she had done to him earlier today. He would still be red either way; James could not blush when Lily Evans was concerned.

It was bloody annoying, that and James’s stupid virginity pack. I couldn’t help but snort. It wasn’t so much a virginity pact, as a James was holding out for Lily pact. It was sort of sweet in a romantic moron way. He tried to get the rest of us to agree to it. Remus had no problems with the pact, since he was trying to stay away from girls in general, because of the whole being a werewolf thing. Peter had told us it was too late for him, because he shagged this muggle girl on holiday once. I still don’t believe him.

I, on the other hand made no promises. In the three years since the pact had been brought up, I did my best to avoid the subject. It wasn’t because I was scared, because why would Sirius Black, the lover of women be afraid to make love? I just didn’t want to admit to the rest of the world that sometimes I was just like James, a sodding romantic. James may be ready to hand in that man card, but I am not. So I silently signed James’s sodding pact.

“Oiy! Black!” I guess I had been thinking about it too long because Prongs had thrown a biscuit at my head and since it was a Hogwarts biscuit it wasn’t the softest thing in the world.

“Bloody hell! What was that for?” I growled throwing it back to James, who laughed and avoided the thing.

“No reason just wanted to make sure you were alive. There’s Cadillac!”

Even though I’m not her biggest fan after the whole slapping me thing and walking off thing, I have to admit she’s not bad looking. I mean, she far from bad looking, in that way where guys could tell she didn’t try. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, because her face wasn’t glowing from the candles in the Great Hall. I would say she strolled in the hall, but she still had a cast on her foot and was hobbling.

“Maybe you should help her carry her books or something. Make amends that way?” Remus suggested.

“Get off your lazy arse and talk to her!” James added.

I got up and swaggered over to entrances, because honestly she hadn’t gotten that far. “Hello!”

She stopped and stared at me as if I was a dementor, so thought it would be best to apolize now when she was still in a state of shock.

“I’m sorry I snogged you, but you know how it is. There are too many birds, can’t remember them all.”

“Snogged me?” She muttered growing red in the face, “You think I slapped you because we snogged? I would have gotten over that.”

I was trapped, so I asked if she needed help with her books.

By now she looked so furious I, Sirius Black, was actually afraid she was going to whip out her wand and do something to me.

“I’m not even going to waste my time and slap you again. You sodding prick!” She muttered stomping away in the opposite way. From the table Lily Evans and most of the seven year girls were cheering, and my mates were in heaps of laughter.

What was her fucking problem?