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Freshmen by ravenclaw_princess

Format: Short story
Chapters: 3
Word Count: 10,755
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Drama, Romance, Angst
Characters: Albus, Rose, Scorpius
Pairings: Rose/Scorpius

First Published: 07/01/2009
Last Chapter: 01/20/2015
Last Updated: 01/20/2015

Summary:



He never dreamed that life would turn out the way it did. He tried not to blame himself as he lay there crying with his head on the floor. He didn't want to hold himself responsible, but she was gone, and there was no one else to blame.

To the song Freshman by Verve Pipe




Chapter 1: I wont be held responsible
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Disclaimer: Thanks JKR for bringing us the world of Harry Potter and for all the inspiration it leads us into. This story inspired by the song 'Freshmen' by The Verve Pipe.


A/N:  This is not a happy story, so now you can't say that I haven't warned you. But with that said, I hope you enjoy it. The story will be three chapters, each containing a verse of the song. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.



Scorpius and Rose, Prince of Slytherin and Princess of Griffindor. Possibly the most unlikely match ever to walk the corridors of Hogwarts. The son of Draco Malfoy and the daughter of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, together in an amazing relationship the bridged the divide between those of pure blood and those with Muggle blood. But to them, blood didn't matter, it never had and it never would.


People would say that from the moment the two met they connected on a level that could never have been imagined. I saw they way they looked at each other on their first meeting aboard the Hogwarts Express. I was too young at the time to understand what the look that passed them was, but now I'm sure that it was love. I saw the same look pass between them as we crossed the lake and as we waited outside the doors of the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony. I also saw the look pass between them as Scorpius sat on the small stool as the Sorting Hat shouted out Slytherin – Rose didn't care, she simply smiled.


They were friends from the very first day, although no one else knew it. They hid their friendship from everyone, fearing the repercussions that their fellow house mates would inflict on them. Instead, they smiled at each other when no one was looking and studied together when ever they could. Their friendship grew and they both knew that there was no point denying it to the world any longer, they were in love and they wanted to scream it from the highest tower for all of Hogwarts and the Wizarding world to hear. To everyone who was still suffering the divide created by Voldemort. So Scorpius and Rose went to the senior ball together in fifth year and their relationship was cemented. There was surprise and there was some anger from their house mates, but both Rose and Scorpius shrugged it off, and eventually everyone realised that their love was real and only death could break it.


Rose and I grew up together and we were very close friends. Through Rose I met Scorpius and I found that he was nothing like the stereotypical Slytherin that I had imagined. Yes, he was overconfident and arrogant at times, but he was also kind and gentle and more in love with Rose than I could even contemplate. I must say that I am blessed to have known the pair and witness the bond that connected their hearts. I was also there to watch the fairy tale descend into tragedy. This is their story, a story of a painful event that brought to an end the love affair between the Prince of Slytherin and the Princess of Gryffindor.
 

* * *


“I'm pregnant!” Rose sobbed into her hands, leaning up against the bed in her college dorm room, her legs curled up to her chest.
 

Scorpius looked at her stunned, unsure of what to say or how he felt. The news was not exactly what he wanted to hear. They were merely freshman at college, they had all their dreams ahead of them and a child would destroy all of them. He was here on a Quidditch scholarship and had already been approached by teams wanting him to play for them, and Rose had her dreams of becoming a healer. None of which could be completed if they had to drop out of college because of a baby.
 

“Say something!” Rose yelled from across the room, nearly hysterical.
 

“I'm sorry, I'm just in shock,” Scorpius responded, looking at Rose's tearstained face and pained expression.
 

“You're shocked?” Rose cried, getting up from the ground. “How do you think I feel? I'm the one with a baby inside me. What are we going to do?” The desperation was clear in her voice. Rose clambered to her feet and walked on slightly wobbly legs across the room. Scorpius engulfed her sobbing frame into his arms and smothered her hair with his hand.
 

“First things first,” he said calmly. “Are you positive you're pregnant?”
 

“Yes,” Rose confirmed, “I'm late and I did every spell and took every potion there is. They all say the same thing.”
 

Scorpius gulped, he was hoping that it was a false alarm but it didn't seem that he would be that lucky. “We'll work through this,” he said, trying to console Rose as best he could. “We just need a good night’s sleep to calm ourselves so we can look at this logically.”
 

“What's there to think about?” Rose wailed, breaking away form Scorpius and starting to pace in front of the bed. “I'm pregnant, my life is over, I can't have a baby. What will our parents say? It was hard enough to get them to support our relationship. What do you think my father will say when I say I'm pregnant with your child at the age of eighteen? He will want to murder you!”
 

Scorpius looked at Rose who looked straight into his eyes with the determined look that always drew him in. She was a free spirit and determined in everything she did. She also had an amazing ability to put her own flare and personality into every endeavor. If you saw her grades and saw her in person, you would not connect the two. She had dark brown eyes, straight dark brown hair to just past her shoulders and she loved dark eye makeup and black clothes. But past the rock star frontage, she was affectionate and tender. Although she could not take criticism or advice, preferring to stick to her way of doing things just to show that she could. Scorpius knew though that he was just the same, he may be young but he thought he knew everything. He was definitely smart, but he was completely clueless when it came to real life. The consequences of his youth and his full hardy bravado had now surfaced and was showing him the full reality of his self-inflated untouchable attitude.


Scorpius had known from the moment he had met Rose in first year that he wanted to marry her, and his egotistical nature would never let him settle for anything else. As it turned out though, he didn't have to try and win her heart as they easily became friends. It took until fifth year for them to finally tell each other that they wanted more than friendship and neither one of them had looked back from that moment on. It had taken some time for their parents to come around to their relationship, but it was mainly her father that was proving the problem. His father and her mother could put past grudges behind them a little easier. While her dad had eventually consented to the relationship, both of them knew that it was with much reluctance and only due to a lot of convincing by Rose's mother.
 

“How far along are you?” Scorpius asked. If it was early on, they still had options.
 

“About six weeks, I think,” Rose answered in a slightly calmer voice although she continued to pace frantically across the room.
 

“What do you want to do then?” Scorpius questioned tentatively, unsure of what Rose would say. Her reaction said it all though, she had understood perfectly well what Scorpius was getting at and she stopped pacing instantly and shot Scorpius a look that would melt ice.
 

“What do you mean by that?” Rose hissed causing Scorpius to back away towards the wall.
 

“Well it's just...” Scorpius stuttered unsure of how to handle the fuming Rose that stood before him. “It's your body and your dreams that will be affected the most, I'm just saying...”
 

“You've said enough!” Rose screamed hysterically as tears once more cascaded down her cheeks. “How could you say that, I am not getting rid of our baby!”
 

“I didn't say I wanted to,” Scorpius said softly. He was tearing himself apart inside over the situation they had both put themselves into, but from society’s perspective, Rose would be the one who would be looked down on the most. She was the one who would have to carry and nurse the child. Her dreams of becoming a healer dashed.
 

“I want to be alone for a little while” Rose whispered softly, her mad hysteria disappearing to be replaced by despair and sorrow.
 

Scorpius nodded solemnly but he didn't leave. Instead he took Rose into his arms, holding her tightly as she shed a torrent of tears from her red, puffy eyes.
 

* * *
 

A week passed by and Rose and Scorpius did their best to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was happening. But her blotchy eyes told a different story and the concern etched across Scorpius' face assured me that something had happened to destroy the happiness the two shared. I tried to get it out of Scorpius but he said nothing was wrong with them, only that Rose had heard some bad news from home and she was quite upset about it. Rose simply confirmed this story but failed to elaborate. No one knew how much their world was about to come crashing down.
 

* * *
 

Scorpius was sitting on his bed in his dorm room with a text book open on his lap. He was not studying, though, he could think of nothing but Rose and the baby and what the coming months and years were going to hold for them. Would he be able to finish college, how would they be able to support themselves, what would their parent say? There were far too many questions and there were definitely no answers. They would simply have to stick together and try the best they could to get through this darkness.
 

A gentle tap on the door brought Scorpius' attention back to the real world. He rolled off his bed to the door and opened it to see Rose standing there, her eyes surprisingly dry. He opened the door wide and let her come in where she started pacing slowly across the room, indicating to Scorpius that she had something on her mind that she needed to say.
 

“I'm going to drop out of college and get a job so we can start earning money for the baby,” Rose said quietly, keeping her head down to avoid eye contact.
 

Scorpius' jaw dropped at her announcement. “You can't do that,” he began, “you can still finish this semester. I will drop out, I'll get a job, I'll...”
 

“Don't be so stupid,” Rose interjected forcefully. “You have so much talent on the Quidditch pitch, it would be silly for you to drop out. We would be much better placed in the future if you stay in college and see your scholarship through.” She looked Scorpius straight in the eyes and he knew she was dead serious with her proposal.
 

Scorpius felt terrible about this suggestion. He hated the thought of Rose going out and working while he lived up the college life. He should be the one providing for her, not the other way around. “Are you sure this is what you want?” Scorpius asked, as gently as he could.
 

Rose looked at Scorpius quizzically, the faintest hint of anger blazing through her eyes. “Yes it is,” she replied strongly, “but I'm getting the distinct feeling that this is not what you want.”
 

“It's not exactly how I wanted things to turn out,” Scorpius admitted.
 

“And you think I did?” Rose shot back, the volume in her voice increasing with every word.
 

“No I just...” Scorpius stuttered, knowing that he was once again making a larger mess out of an already messy situation.
 

“Do you even want this baby?” Rose demanded, her eyes full of fury and burning a hole straight through Scorpius's heart. He didn't answer immediately and closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. The truthful answer was no, he didn't want this baby. But while he felt that way today, it didn't mean that he would feel that way tomorrow. He wanted a baby with Rose for sure, but now was hardly the time for them to start a family. A child was meant to bring a couple closer together, but this one was only tearing them apart and the rift was growing to the size of a chasm.
 

Scorpius opened his eyes again and saw that all of Rose's anger had gone and instead tears were falling from her eyes.


“You don't do you?” she sobbed, wiping tears off her checks.
 

“I...” Scorpius stammered, unable to lie to Rose.
 

“I thought so.” Rose pushed past Scorpius as she flew out the door.
 

“Rose, wait!” Scorpius yelled, running after her. Scorpius struggled to keep pace with her as she sprinted along in front of him, but slowly he was narrowing the gap.
 

“You've made yourself perfectly clear!” Scorpius heard Rose yell from up ahead. She turned to run down the stairwell and suddenly stopped, spinning around to face him and pointing an accusing finger in his direction. Scorpius stopped a few metres away, afraid of what Rose was capable of in her current state. “You would have me get rid of our baby, just so we go on with our lives. But it doesn't work that way!” Rose raged, her face red, her eyes puffy and soaked with tears.
 

“I don't want to get rid of the baby” Scorpius yelled back, trying to reason the hysteric Rose. “I'm just struggling right now to find a bright light on the horizon.”
 

“We're going to bring a child into this world Scorpius, what more do you need?” Rose asked with exasperation.
 

“I don't know,” Scorpius admitted. His feelings were so convoluted he didn't know how to begin unraveling them. He was sure though, that with Rose by his side, everything would eventually work its way back to harmony.
 

“Let me know when you do.” Rose turned to leave, taking her first step down the stairs which would take her back to her dorm. “In fact...” she began, swinging herself around to face him once more.
 

But she didn't get to finish her sentence. The next moment would be embedded in Scorpius' mind for the rest of his days. As she turned around, Rose lost her balance on the top step and Scorpius watched in slow motion as her body twisted and her face registered shock. He hardly had time to reach out to her, before she was toppling down the stairs to the landing below.
 

Scorpius flew down the stairs as fast as he possibly could and reached the still form of Rose who lay on the hard and cold landing below. Blood was starting to ooze from some cuts and grazes she had sustained forming small glistening red pools on the ground and her limbs were twisted at unnatural angles.
 

“Help me! Somebody help me!” Scorpius yelled at the top of his voice, as he knelt down beside Rose and checked her neck for a pulse, tears falling from his eyes, afraid that she may not be alive. With trembling fingers, Scorpius felt her neck, praying that he would find a faint beat that meant that she was still with him. The seconds ticked by and his anxiety grew as he pressed into her neck, then he found it, the soft pulsing that meant that her heart was still beating. Scorpius let out his breath in relief. It was faint but, it was there, even with his shaking fingers, he could feel that life was still pulsing in her veins.
 

“Help! Help” Scorpius yelled again with increasing urgency. Much to his relief, he heard footsteps pattering down the corridor and glimpsed other students rushing to his cries.
 

“She needs a healer!” Scorpius yelled up the stairs. “Now!”
 

Scorpius let the tears flow as he sat, sobbing on the cold stones, stroking Rose's hair and whispering ‘It will be ok, everything will be ok,' over and over as he tried to comfort himself as much as the unconscious Rose. A loud crack announced the arrival of the healers and Scorpius was moved aside as they began work on her. He felt hopeless as they worked as endless scenarios played through his head. He didn't want to hear what they were saying nor see what they were doing, preferring to keep the images and sounds out of his memory. Instead he sat curled in ball, his hands over his ears, his head on the floor and he cried a thousand tears, not just for Rose but also for their unborn child.
 

When they had done all they could on the cramped stairs, the healers moved Rose to the hospital wing where Scorpius had to endure an agonising wait as the healers tried to fix her broken body. He lost track of time and had cried all the tears that he possessed before the healer emerged and told him that Rose would be ok.
 

“She was pretty bad,” the healer admitted to Scorpius, “but we managed to fix all the broken bones and repair the internal injuries. It will take a little while, but in time she will make a full recovery.”
 

Scorpius felt like hugging the healer as relief surged through him. “When can I see her?” he asked.
 

“I'll take you to her now, although she is not yet awake” the healer replied, leading Scorpius down a labyrinth of corridors to the bed where Rose lay, bandaged and swollen. The healer left and Scorpius went and sat beside her. Rain pelted the windows and darkness hung heavy outside, spreading its sombre mood indoors. Scorpius took Rose's hand in his. It was cold and unmoving, so unlike the hands he was used to holding. He lifted it to his lips and kissed it gently. Feeling utterly exhausted, Scorpius lay his head and arms on the bed, her hand still cupped in his, and he fell into a restless slumber.
 

The next thing Scorpius was aware of was a gentle stroking of his hair and his mind unwillingly returned to the terrible events of the night before. The rain had passed by and the sun was well up in the sky. Scorpius sat up groggily and turned to face Rose who gave him a weak half hearted smile.
 

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking her hand in his, relieved at the amount of warmth that emanated from it.
 

“As well as can be expected,” she replied without much feeling as tears sprang to her eyes and her face screwed itself up in pain. “I've lost the baby,” Rose sobbed in a barely audible whisper, as the tears became a river down her cheeks. “The doctor told me while you were sleeping.”
 

Scorpius looked into Rose's deep brown eyes. Her grief was written all over her and she sobbed relentlessly as Scorpius looked on in a stunned silence. The news was a sudden blow that Scorpius was not expecting. Having a baby so young hadn't been in the plan but subconsciously he had already embraced the new life that Rose was carrying. Now, faced with the loss, Scorpius didn't know how to feel. He wanted to say relieved, but that wasn't true. He was distraught.
 

“Say something!” Rose screamed “Say something, anything, please. Don't just sit there staring at me. Our baby is dead and it's all our fault!” the remainder of Rose's words were drowned out by her gut wrenching cries of pain.
 

“Don't say that Rose,” Scorpius pleaded. “It was an accident, a terrible tragic accident that we couldn't have dreamt would happen.”
 

“If we weren't fighting I wouldn't have fallen” Rose argued. “If you hadn't suggested we get rid of the baby we wouldn't have killed her.”
 

“I didn't say that. I was only making sure that were happy with your decision” Scorpius shot back, not willing to put blame on himself or Rose for the tragedy.
 

“It's what you were implying,” Rose retorted, her grief rapidly being replaced with anger.
 

“I will not be held responsible for this. I didn't plan this, it is not what I wanted to happen!” Scorpius shouted as he stood up from beside the bed and turned away from Rose, running his hand through his hair as he tried to untangle his emotions.
 

“But you didn't want the baby either. Look at you, you aren't even crying. I bet you are glad this has happened” Rose accused, stabbing Scorpius straight through the heart.
 

“I'm in shock, Rose. Yesterday I had a fleeting glimpse at what it would feel like if you were dead and it was horrible, it was an emotion I never want to feel again.” Scorpius replied, his voice full of resentment at her accusation, “I have no more tears left Rose, I cried them all for you. I'm emotionally exhausted, I just need time to digest everything.”
 

“This is our child!” Rose screamed back, “Our child, for goodness sake! I hardly think a tear is unreasonable!”
 

“Just because I'm not crying now doesn't mean I'm not torn up inside.” Scorpius said, trying to justify his lack of tears to Rose. “I've only known about the child for a week. I've only marginally come to terms with it, and I'm not even close to falling in love with it.” Scorpius knew the moment the words left his lips, by the look on Rose's face, that he had said the wrong thing, and he braced himself for the onslaught that she was about to unleash.
 

“Well I had, you cold heartless bastard!” Rose shrieked, grabbing the glass of water on the nightstand beside her bed and throwing it with all her strength at Scorpius. He dodged it and the glass went flying past, smashing into pieces as it hit the hard hospital wall. “Get out Scorpius Malfoy. I never want to see you again! Ever!”


Scorpius looked at Rose in shock. He had never seen her like this before and he didn't know what to do. Should he comfort her or should he leave her like she requested. “Get out!” Rose shouted once more, reaching for the vase of flowers that sat on the night stand. Scorpius needed no further bidding and he turned on his heels and fled, feeling like a coward, as he heard the smashing of the vase and the hysterical crying of Rose behind him.
 

Scorpius ran from the hospital to the grassy square outside, collapsing against the closest tree. Suddenly, tears that Scorpius didn't know he had came spilling out of him and he cried relentlessly until he could cry no longer. Why? he asked the universe as a whole. Why did this have to happen to us. Scorpius looked around at the people milling about minding their own business, without a care in the world. Scorpius didn't know why he ever thought that he was wise. He had lived thinking that he was in control, but now he realised how quickly things could change. Their baby was dead and Scorpius was sure that his relationship with Rose was over. Things would never be the same again, and Scorpius felt himself dying a little inside. He was only a freshman at college, but his life felt like it was over.
 


Chapter 2: Guilt Stricken
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I was studying like all students do. All right, I lie, I was reading up on my favourite Quidditch team when Scorpius came and broke the news to me that tore my heart in two. It had been a few days since the incident and physically, Rose had made a remarkable recovery, but emotionally she was a mess. I had seen her on several occasions, streaks of tears glistening upon her pale cheeks. I would ask what happened, why she was crying but she would simply say she had tripped down the stairs and her tears were because of the fright she had sustained and the pain she was feeling. Little did I know that the pain she was talking about was the pain in her heart.

 
I wasn't a fool though and I knew there was more to the tale. However, I knew that it was not right to push Rose. I had known her for long enough to appreciate that she would tell me when she was ready. Scorpius had been suspiciously absent from her bedside which immediately told me that something had happened between them. At first I was relieved to finally have some answers, but I was not prepared for what Scorpius was about to tell me.


* * *


“Have you got a minute?” Scorpius asked, tentatively. He had dark circles under his eyes and he looked disheveled. It was obvious that he had not slept in several days.

 
“Sure,” I replied, putting my book down and sitting up on my bed so I could give Scorpius my full attention. Scorpius pulled the chair out from under the desk and sat down, holding his head in his hands and staring at the floor. He took several deep breaths before he looked up and spoke.


“Rose was pregnant. When she fell we lost the baby.” Tears began to course down Scorpius' cheeks and the pain he felt was evident in his voice. My jaw dropped to somewhere near the bed and I looked at Scorpius in stunned silence. I knew something had happened, I had no idea how terrible it actually was.


“I'm...I'm so sorry,” I finally managed to say, grief gripping my own heart as I witnessed my friend’s anguish.


“We were fighting,” Scorpius continued. “I asked her if she wanted to have the baby which made her think I didn't want it. I was just in shock, that was all. We were fighting when she fell.” Scorpius paused briefly, guilt crossing his features. “This is all my fault.” Scorpius was suddenly overcome with tears and I levitated the tissue box to his side where he took one and wiped his eyes.
 

“You can't hold yourself responsible” I said, trying my best to comfort him. “It was an accident, that was all.”


“I know,” Scorpius admitted, “but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I've seen Rose on several occasions, but she is so sad, so forlorn. I'm sure she understands now that I did want the baby and that everything I said and did was out of shock. She hardly says anything though, and I'm sure she blames me for what happened. I can't help but feel that our relationship is over, how can we move on from this?”


“She just lost a child. She's distraught. Give her some time to work out her feelings. She may come back in time,” I said, unsure at how my true my words were.


“I'm going to go home for a week.” Scorpius said. “I need to get away from here for a while. I need to forget her so I can move on.”


“Are you sure that’s the wisest course of action?” I asked. “Surely your place is here, with Rose. She will come around with time. I know she will.”


Scorpius shook his head. “I wasn't talking about Rose, I was talking about my child. I imagined she was going to be a girl, with dark brown hair and brown eyes, just like her mother, but she would have my smile.”
 

* * *
 

It was hard to know what to say when someone tells you news like I had just heard. Nothing prepares you for this sort of situation. I tried to be as supportive as I could but I had no idea what to say or what to do. So I let Scorpius leave as I saw that no harm would come if he went home for a while. To this day, that decision haunts me. It will haunt me until the day I die.


* * *


Scorpius spent the next week with his father. He had explained everything to him as he needed the support of someone far older and wiser than he. His father was surprisingly supportive, never once rebuking him for his carelessness that led to the situation in the first place. He had cheered up slightly, or more, the grief was no longer hanging as a dark rainstorm, following his every move. The events had broken his heart but he hoped that he would be able to mend things with Rose over time. He had sent her several owls but he received no reply which wasn't exactly unexpected but was disappointing. He didn't expect her to welcome him back straight away, but he at least hoped that they would be able to sit and cry together.

 
Scorpius returned to his dorm room, dumped his belongings and looked at himself in the mirror. He was looking much healthier now, some colour had returned to his cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes were almost gone. A shower and a hair brush had also done wonders for his appearance and helped to lift his mood. Judging himself suitable, not cheerful, but not quite death warmed up either, Scorpius left his dorm room and headed over to Rose's.


He knocked softly on the door and heard no reply so knocked a little harder. Still no reply. Scorpius was not fazed and decided that he would let himself in and wait for her to return. He pulled out his wand, pointed it at the door handle and whispered the password. The door unlocked and Scorpius pushed it open. That's when he saw her.
 

Lying beside her bed, her eyes open, her face deathly pale was Rose. Scorpius's heart fragmented into shards as sharp as a knife blades when he saw her. It tore apart his insides and shredded his soul. Tears flowed from his eyes. “No,” he moaned softly. “Rose, what have you done? Rose, talk to me.”


But there was no reply. Scorpius collapsed to his knees beside the cold body, every fragment of life had long since disappeared and all that remained was the empty shell which once contained the life and soul of Rose. An anguished sob escaped from Scorpius as he took her cold, limp hand in his. He reached out and stroked the side of her face, brushing her dark locks away from her lips. A tear dropped from Scorpius eyes and landed on Rose's cheek, creating a trail as it rolled down her face and onto the floor.

 
Scorpius looked at Rose's peaceful frame and noticed a small unfamiliar looking bottle under the bed. Reaching over the body, Scorpius pulled it out, fearing the worst. Immediately, his fears were confirmed. The bottle was empty and the words 'Valium' were written in dark ink. This word was unfamiliar to Scorpius, but the specifics did not matter as the end result was the same.


Suddenly, the full reality of where he was and who was lying across of the floor hit Scorpius. His body began to shake, his heart began to pound and he broke out into a cool sweat. Loud cries split the quiet dormitory as Scorpius gave into his grief. The tears flowed thick and fast and he fell the rest of the way to the floor so he was lying next to Rose. He sobbed mercilessly, his whole body shuddering with mourning as his tears fell from his eyes, rolling across his face and onto the floor.
 

The seconds and minutes merged together as Scorpius lay, sobbing on the ground, next to the body of his one true love. Scorpius couldn't begin to comprehend what he was feeling, it didn't have a name, it was an intricate matrix of so many emotions; grief, guilt, love, pain, loss, loneliness. Scorpius had never contemplated growing old without Rose, in all his dreams he had seen her walking down the aisle to become his wife, he had imagined having a family with her, of spending every last waking moment by her side. This was not how things were meant to end, death was so final. It was a place that Scorpius could not yet go to, he would eventually follow, but the timing was not up to him to decide. Unlike Rose, Scorpius still felt like there was something to live for, some bright light would someday shine on the horizon and tell him that this was his path.


Scorpius couldn't see any bright light coming for a very long time. He loved Rose with all his being and now she was gone. For so many years she had been the one constant that all his thoughts and actions revolved around. Without her, his life no longer had meaning or substance. He was just like Rose was now, an empty shell, the only difference was that he was still breathing.


“How did everything come to this?” Scorpius sobbed. Life had been perfect, his own fairy tale, but this was no fairy tale ending. One silly mistake had led him down this path, one silly mistake had caused a chain reaction that led to tragedy.


“This is all my fault,” Scorpius choked out through his cries to Rose, hoping that where ever she was, she was listening. “I should have shown you how much I cared, I should have made it clearer to you that I did want our child, I should have cried more with you, I shouldn't have been so naïve to think that everything would work out perfectly. If I had shown you, how much I was hurting, then maybe this wouldn't have happened, you wouldn't have driven me away. If I didn't leave, I would have been here for you, I would have saved you.”
 

Scorpius succumbed to the deepest depths of despair. His sobs echoed the discordant beating of his heart that was shattered into tiny pieces. His vision blurred to a mass of hazy colours, much like his life. It was an unclear fog that gave no glimpses into the future, his body shivered despite the warmth of the day and his mind registered nothing but the moment he was in. Despite all the outward signs that he was alive, Scorpius felt dead inside. He had no recollection of time, where he was or what was happening. The only thought that consumed his mind and soul was that Rose was gone, his purpose, his reason for existence was no more.
 

At some unknown and not very special point in time, when the sun had long since disappeared below the horizon and the sky was streaked with various shades of orange through to the deepest of blues, Scorpius felt the presence of somebody else. Stars were starting to shine down on the world, ongoing and ageless to all those below them who gaze up every night. A constant sentry of the night, always looking down on the earth, silent and solitary, observing the world through their ancient eyes. To all observers, the stars were immortal, their life time far outstripping even the oldest of wizards. However, even the stars would eventually die. But their death would go unnoticed, it would not hurt any one, it would not rip to shreds the heart of a freshman.


Scorpius felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. It seemed to offer protection and sanctuary, a way to move past this moment in time where Scorpius was frozen. If given the chance, he would stay where he was forever. His body couldn’t move, his mind wouldn’t allow him to. If he were to move away from where he was, he would be admitting to himself that Rose was gone, and even through he knew that she was, he had to deny the truth for as long as he could.
 

The gentle pressure on his shoulder increased and a warm hand touched his own. The warmth took a moment to register, so accustomed he had become to the feeling of cold flesh. It was as though an unknown force was controlling him now, and Scorpius slowly sat up. The stranger helped him to his feet and led him to the far side of the room, an arm comfortingly slung across his shoulders.
 

Scorpius watched on in his dazed and disorientated state as healers in their crisp and clean white robes walked in and knelt next to Rose, prodding her with their wands. She gave no response. A healer reached up to Rose's face and gently lowered her eyelids, closing the beautiful chocolate coloured eyes of her mother and by doing so, closing the one remaining connection between Rose and the world. To Scorpius it was the final point of denial and he fell to his knees, taking the supportive stranger off balance. He curled into a ball and sobbed into his hands, tuning out all noise and all light and thinking of nothing but Rose.
 

Once again through the gentle coaxing of the stranger, Scorpius felt himself pulled to his feet, hearing words like 'magical law enforcement squad', 'survey the scene' and 'talk to you' in a myriad of disconnected sentences. As soon as Scorpius was through the threshold, several law enforcement personal entered the room and Scorpius was engulfed in a sea of official looking people taking over the dormitory corridor. A charm had been placed around the scene so only certain people could enter and see through, but Scorpius could see a bunch of curious onlookers huddled in the corridor intently discussing what was occurring.
 

A law enforcement officer approached Scorpius with his quill and notepad in hand and began to ask a series of questions. In his dreamlike state, Scorpius answered, unaware of what he was really saying, let alone if he was even speaking English. He wanted to get out of there, to run away and let the earth engulf him into its molten core. Suddenly, the interview was over, a card was thrust into his hand and the supportive stranger, whom Scorpius had only just realised was still there, led him outside of the protective cordon and away from his only love.
 

* * *
 

In all that time, Scorpius never realised that the protective stranger was me. I had been checking on Rose often while Scorpius was away. She never said anything when I was there, she just lay on her bed, curled in a ball, holding herself protectively. She stared into space with a vacant expression and tears glistening down her checks. She heard me though, as I sat there with her, talking about what was going on in the world outside the confines of her dormitory walls.


Then their were the times when I told her that however dark things were right now, that time would heal the wounds and life would go on. That she and Scorpius would help each other through the healing process. She couldn't give up on life as it hadn't given up on her, she had so much to offer the world and the impact she would have on other peoples’ lives would be monumental. I knew she heard me, even though she stayed completely still, the only sign that she was alive was the shallow rise and fall of her chest and the stream of tears that continued unabated the entire time.
 

I was worried sick as I saw her. I didn't know what to say, and who would in a situation like this. She refused to talk, refused any help at all, and I was at a loss as to what to do next. She was mourning not only for her lost child but also for Scorpius, she still loved him completely with all her heart and soul and only he would be able to bring Rose back from the brink of the abyss. He just came back a few hours too late.


I had several hours of classes to attend, so with much reluctance I left Rose curled up on her bed and attended class. As soon as they were over I went back to her dorm to check on her, my sixth sense alerting me that something was amiss. I knew as soon as I reached the top of the stairs that something terrible had happened, I could hear the cries from Scorpius echoing down the corridor. The door was left slightly ajar and as I reached it I could see two people lying on the ground. My heart sank as I realised that Rose was gone.
 

Grief over took me and I swayed where I stood, grabbing onto the wall to steady myself. How long I stood, there I do not know. It took all my concentration just to continue breathing. I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away, I wanted someone to wake me up form the nightmare. But there was no one else. The corridor was deserted. It really was just Scorpius and myself alone with Rose. This was our chance to give her our final farewell, while we were alone. This would be the only chance we would get.


So I slumped down outside the room, allowing Scorpius to be alone with Rose and I cried. I cried like I never knew I could. I cried tears for the friend I lost, I cried tears for all the happy times we had spent together, and I cried for the future in which Rose could no longer be a part. Then the tears ebbed away. Its funny how they can do that, be so fast at one moment, and then clear away an instant later. My mind had taken over from my heart, it knew that there were things that needed to be set in motion. The tears could wait just a little bit longer, but Rose could not, and Scorpius needed to feel life again.

 
It was then that I notified the authorities and went and placed a comforting hand on Scorpius' shoulder. It was a long time later before he realised who I was.
 

* * *
 

“Albus...How? When? Scorpius stuttered, seeing the face of his friend sitting beside him. Gradually he was once again becoming aware of where he was. The fresh air was calming his senses and his mind was starting to win the war against his heart, which had been numbed to all but its own anguish.


“I came to check on Rose and...” Albus had to stop himself as his mind flashed back to the scene on Rose's bedroom floor, her ashen form lying still and motionless beside her bed. “I called the authorities, they needed to know, and they know what to do next.” He choked out the last words. Did Rose's parent know yet, should we have notified them instead, where was her body? There were too many things to do, but in a time like this, who can really think of anything other than their own grief.


“This is all my fault,” Scorpius muttered as he stared away into the night sky which held none of the solemn mood that hung over their heads. It was short phrase, but it held so much guilt. He had whispered in many times to himself after the loss of their child, and now he would say it again.
 

“I feel the same way,” Albus replied, “but we can't blame ourselves. We cannot assign the blame for her death to us.”
 

“It's easier to blame myself than it is to think that Rose did this to herself. To think that she gave up on herself, on life, on me.” Scorpius stood up and walked around the green lawn, lit by the pale light of the moon, which held too much beauty for his present state of mind. Tears welled behind his eyes once more and started to cascade down his cheeks. It didn't matter how much he wanted to blame himself for what Rose had done, he knew that he couldn't be held responsible. Maybe he didn't weep enough for his child, and that was most definitely true from Rose's point of view, but it didn't mean that he wouldn't embrace the new life that they would bring to the world, it certainly didn't mean that he would leave Rose. He loved her more with every passing day, and a world without her, the world now in front of him, was a scary proposition.
 

'No', Scorpius thought to himself, 'I can't be held responsible.' Rose was the one who had fallen so in love with their child, Rose was the one who blamed herself and Rose was the one who decided to give up on life. Maybe I shouldn't have left her, but Albus was here, I needed to heal myself. Scorpius wiped the tears away from his checks, his resolution set. “No. I wont be held responsible,” he said quietly to himself as he gazed up into the star filled sky. He would mourn Rose until the end of time but he would not attribute the blame onto himself.
 

Albus watched Scorpius as he walked around the grass courtyard and heard his quiet phrase whispered to the night. The air was remarkably still and warm. The atmosphere had a surreal feeling about it, like nothing was real. “This all feels like a dream,” Albus said, reflecting on the calm world around them.
 

“It is a dream,” Scorpius replied, taking a seat next to Albus once more, “and it will be a dream for the rest of my life. If she is not here then it's not reality. I'll wake up when we're reunited, it doesn't matter how long I have to wait, or where I have to go. One day I will see her again and only then will the dream end, because there is no world without Rose.”


“What made us think that something like this could never happen to us?” Albus asked.


“I don't know,” Scorpius answered. “We're just freshmen, we think we know everything and don't want to compromise, ever. For every mistake I've ever made, I am now paying the price. I'm alive, but it doesn't feel like I am. My dreams and my future have been ripped apart, and all that remains is the fragment of my old life, the objects and the possessions are still there, but the feelings are gone, like the love, the love that only Rose could give me. It's something that will never be replaced. My heart is still beating, but it has no rhythm, no feeling, no spark of life. There was a part of me that always belonged to Rose, it belonged to her before I even knew it existed. That part of me has died with her.”


* * *

 
We cried many tears those next few days weeks and months. Our lives went on, but the gaping hole left by Rose could never be filled. Her absence weighed on us with an oppressive force. For a long time, our mood could never rise above dreadful and Scorpius was in a constant state of dehydration, never drinking enough to sustain the tears that he cried. We were there for each other more than we ever had been before and ever so slowly, our lives returned to what can only be described as moderately normal, as normal as they can be when the one person you love above all else is gone.


A/N: Thanks for reading. Please, please, please leave a review. They mean a lot. :) There's one more chapter to go and it will be up really soon.



Chapter 3: For the life of me
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The years passed by and life continued. Scorpius maintained his dream like state for many months before he became used to the new reality he reluctantly found himself in. We finished college and Scorpius went on to become a top Quidditch star, breaking many records in the process. But for all his achievements, there was always something missing in his life, it was the hole that Rose left, and that hole could be filled by no one else.


* * *

 
Scorpius felt the coarse sand squeeze between his toes as he walked along the beach beside his home. The waves lapped the shore with intense regularity as they rushed in and out, mobilising the grains of sand which stood no chance against the power of the ocean. The ocean breeze was cool against his skin, a welcome relief from the blazing sun that was starting its descent through the western sky. The sound of the waves calmed Scorpius' mind, it reminded him about how small he was in comparison to the world. He was just like a sand grain, one among millions being tossed around by the power of the waves. Constantly being picked up, thrown about and ground down, only to be discarded for a short while before being picked up once more. If it was lucky, that poor little sand grain would be taken out to the far reaches of the ocean where its power was less and it would sink down into the abyssal depths. Over time it would be buried by millions of other sand grains and slowly it would be crushed and cemented back into rock, it would be thrust back up onto the surface to be eroded down once more back into the tiny sand grain.
 

It had been ten years to the day since the loss of Rose. Scorpius felt so much like a sand grain. His emotions became the angry sea, constantly tormenting him and never ceasing. It was the guilt, the loneliness, the despair the sorrow, it was the loss of his one true love. As the weeks turned into months, the months slowly into years, he managed to hold his emotions in check, making a prison of his heart. Every so often the emotions would escape through the unhealed wound that scarred his heart, but he would just throw himself deeper into his Quidditch and his other pursuits, using the physical pain and exhaustion to mask the emotional suffering. For every day where the world seemed brighter as he sailed through the calmer sea, he would eventually be crushed once more by the burden of his guilt and his loss, he would be thrust back to the dreadful day when he found her cold and lifeless, and before he knew it he would be that sand grain once more, being ravished by the ferociousness of his own mind.
 

Scorpius had tried his best to move forward with his life and to wash away the memories and guilt he felt. Albus had been instrumental in keeping him sane and helping him through the depression that threatened to take him to Rose sooner than he ought to. Albus was the only person who fully understood the bond between himself and Rose as he had also shared a special bond with his lifelong friend. Their lives had been thrown into turmoil by her death, in ways that they could not comprehend at the time. They didn't talk about her much anymore, it was an unspoken mutual agreement they both understood. No benefit would come to dredging up the memories from a time they both wanted to forget.
 

Her legacy lived on through their hearts, her fire, her passion, her love, her devotion. They tried to remember the happy memories as much as they could. Scorpius' heart belonged, as it always had, to Rose. His Quidditch career made him the object of many girls’ fantasies, but there would never be anyone else. He had tried on several occasions to have a relationship again, but Scorpius knew that he would never love them as they deserved. His heart was too damaged. Albus was much the same when it came to love, he could not find someone who matched up to Rose in his eyes as much as he tried. They didn't talk about their lacking relationships, there was no point. It would only bring to the surface the memories of what was lost and what could have been.


Scorpius climbed onto the rocks surrounded the headland, shaped by years of being battered by the waves. The tide was receding and little pools had been left in the crevices of the rock. This was a journey that Scorpius had made many times. He trod as carefully as he could over the rocks, the jagged edges cutting into his feet. Scorpius continued on regardless, like he did every other time, forgetting the pain he felt, it helped to reminded him that this was not the dream he wished it was. You could not feel pain in a dream.


As Scorpius journeyed further around the headland, he came upon a large cave that had been carved by the energy of the sea. He pulled out his wand, whispered “Lumos,” and a bright beam cut through the darkness, illuminating his way. Scorpius entered the cave and the world immediately descended into silence, cut only by the soft sound that water makes as it drops onto the surface below. He followed his well trodden path across the rocks, careful to avoid the slippery edges covered with the algae that thrived in the damp and the darkness.


Scorpius approached the far corner of the cave where by some bizarre act of nature, a sort of staircase had formed leading up to the roof. With a little magic, Scorpius had gouged the rock to enlarge the stairs so he was less likely to lose his footing and fall to his death. The air became less dense as Scorpius climbed upwards, he could just touch the roof of the cave and feel the breeze from the world outside swirling around his face. He had nearly reached his destination. Sitting down on the highest step that he could possible get to, as the jagged rocks of the cave pressed into his shoulders and back, Scorpius pushed away the bracken and moss that had covered over the opening at the top of the staircase. The sunlight blinded Scorpius momentarily and he had to blink several times while his eyes adjusted to the newly found light. Wiggling upwards, Scorpius pulled himself through the small opening and emerged onto a forest clad headland that jutted out into the sea.

 
Scorpius had found this place by chance when he had been exploring his newly acquired property. Quidditch definitely paid well and he needed a place with lots of land and space where he could get away from the eyes of the world. He was, much to his dislike, a hot celebrity and he constantly found his face on the cover of Witch Weekly, Teen Witch and Quidditch Today. Thankfully no one had found out about Rose. It was his well guarded secret, but he was always in fear that one day the media would stumble upon his tragic background.

 
Through the trees, Scorpius espied the reason for his journey and set off towards the brilliant red rose that he had planted. It was full of blooms, each as magnificent as the last, and while they did come close, they couldn't quite match the beauty of Rose herself. Beside the rose lay a small white pebble that Rose had picked up out of a garden one day as they had walked around the college campus, hand in hand.

 
“This is for you,” she had said, handing him the pebble.


He looked at it quizzically, before answering “Its a pebble.”


“Well of course it is, silly,” Rose responded, laughing, her beautiful smile lighting up her face, “but it can also be so much more than that. Look how hard it is, but yet so smooth and perfect and simple. Yet that pebble has been around for many years, far more than me. Keep it and remember me with it, for when I am gone, that pebble will live on forever.”
 

One month later, Rose was gone, but the pebble did live on. Scorpius had brought it here as her memorial stone to over look her flower. Etched in tiny letters spiraling around the small pebble were the words “This pebble lives forever, but so do you. You will always be in my heart, you will always be my one and only love.”


Scorpius sat down and leant upon the nearest tree. It was still easiest to blame himself for what had happened. He was still pained by the guilt of it all. He never talked to Albus about it, but it was again one of those topics that they didn't need to discuss. Neither needed to know how many days they spent with their heads on the floor, crying out their tears of guilt. It did not happen as often as it once did, but it took very little flare up the sorrow that would leave Scorpius incapacitated on the ground crying until his eyes were dry. It could be a smell, a sentence or a possession she had owned. What it was didn't matter, only that the memories would flood back in full colour and clarity and it would seem like she was there once more. Sometimes it would be a happy memory, other times it would revolve around those fateful last days. Neither was easy to deal with.
 

Back in the days just after Rose's death, the future seemed bleak and futile, but Scorpius had ploughed on, immersing himself in anything and everything to keep him mind off the one thing that truly mattered to him. The frigid swirling waters that wanted to take him down into their deep dark depths were constantly nudging at his chin, and it took so much effort to keep his nose above water and to swim through it with his numb and exhausted mind. Scorpius tried as hard as he could to glide through his future, across the slippery ice laid down before him. He avoided attachment, he avoided anything that could lead to disappointment and he removed himself from anything that would splinter his heart further. Scorpius tired his hardest not to slip as he went along the new path that lay hazy in front of him, and he succeeded. He never slipped. Instead, he would fall straight through the ice, his whole facade breaking as the emotions he tried to contain within himself unleashed with full force.
 

The heat of the day was dissipating as the sun began sinking below the horizon line. Pulling himself to his feet, he began his descent back through the cave and onto the beach beyond, the sand cool between his toes. Scorpius spotted the first star of the night in the darkening sky, the first of the many stars that looked down on him every night. They were the same stars that had looked down on him every night since the day he was born. It just wasn't until Rose's death that Scorpius fully grasped the shortness of life and the finality of death and only then did he fully grasp the longevity and seeming immortality of the stars.

 
Those last few days were still so clear in Scorpius' head. Time had done nothing to erase the memories, they were only heightened, reinforced with each replaying in his mind. He could still picture Rose in her room telling him she was pregnant, hysterical with worry, he could still see her lying in the hospital bed mourning their unborn child, wiping the stream of tears from her cheeks. He could still hear the smashing vase as he left the room.
 

Scorpius felt like he should be dragged in chains towards the gallows and executed for his crimes, but he had done nothing wrong, except to show the usual confusion of a freshman. “I can't be held responsible,” Scorpius said to himself on the deserted beach. “I can't be held responsible, and I wont be held responsible. She was crying just like I was, wiping the tears from her eyes, she was the one who fell in love with our child and didn't want her to be alone. She was the one who wanted to follow her. This is no one’s fault, not mine, not hers and not the worlds.”
 

“What made us think we were wise?” Scorpius asked the stars. He couldn't remember now what made him think all those years ago that he knew everything. Young and full of himself, he thought he knew best, and he would never take on the advice of his parents or compromise in any way. Scorpius laughed quietly to himself and his own naivety. He was older now, but he felt like he knew less than he ever had before. Maybe that was the real secret of knowledge, as you grow older you find that you know a lot about very little. In some ways, Scorpius now felt that they were meant to have the child. It may have seemed so wrong at the time, but he was sure that eventually everything would have worked out for the better. Unfortunately, he would never know because his youth and his head had overruled his heart.
 

Every day, he was still paying for the mistakes he made over those few weeks ten years ago. A part of him died with Rose and every day he didn't spend with her made him feel like he was dying just a little bit more. Consequences had seemed a lifetime away when he was young. He never thought they would follow him to the grave.
 

He was young then, but he was still young now. Scorpius may have aged by ten years and finished college, he may have a successful Quidditch career and become the idol of millions of Quidditch fans, but in many ways he still felt like a freshman. There was a beginning to everything, however small the journey was. So far it had led him to this point and every small step would take him further onwards. At some point, he would once again be the new person, the freshman with the fresh ideas and the impression that he knew it all. As far as Scorpius was concerned, there was only one journey left that he wanted to go on, and that was the journey that would reunite him with Rose.
 

Scorpius reached the end of the beach and the steps that led up to his house. He paused and looked out over the ocean, shimmering in the light of the moon. He smiled to himself as a tear started to roll down his check. But it wasn't a tear of sorrow, this tear came from a different place. It was a tear of love simply because he had known Rose. Their time together may have been short, but it had always felt so right. She was still a part of him in every way, and no day passed when he didn't think of her. Scorpius loved Rose more than words could describe, but more importantly, she loved him.
 

* * *
 

I never again witnessed a love like that between Rose and Scorpius, nothing even came close to capturing the harmony they shared with each other. However, tragic circumstances intervened and tore Scorpius's world apart. He spent many nights crying himself to sleep, as did I. As the years passed, we tried to move on, but Scorpius would never be able to replace Rose. I, on the other hand, had such high expectations of what love could be, that everything ended in disappointment. She had such a large influence over both of our lives that she will be a part of us forever.
 

This brings to an end the tale of Rose and Scorpius. They shared a love like no other, a love that was cut short in the most horrible way. Even though their time together was short, they achieved more than they ever knew they would; they healed the rift in the wizarding world. Rose's death brought about an end to the feud that had divided their families for years. The feud was settled by grief, but more importantly, by love.


A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed this story, as much as you can enjoy a story like this. It is so completely different to everything else I've written. Any reviews and feedback would be greatly appreciated.



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