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10 Things by x3Loverlyx3

Format: Short story
Chapters: 3
Word Count: 5,464
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Scenes of a mild sexual nature, Spoilers

Genres: Humor, Romance, Angst
Characters: Hugo, James (II), Rose, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: OC/OC, Rose/Scorpius, Other Pairing

First Published: 04/27/2009
Last Chapter: 12/10/2014
Last Updated: 12/10/2014

*Based on '10 Things I Hate About You' Poem* ~~Wonderful banner by Antiquity at TDA~~

If a boy breaks your heart, you should learn your lesson. If you let him back in, it's your own fault- especially if you can't stand a thing about him. Now, if it's James Potter, well, that's another story.

Chapter 1: I Hate The Way You Talk To Me
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 There he is. Standing there waiting for me just like every other day. Why on earth can't I just walk past him? Or talk to him? Something, anything? So you guys broke up Dess, get over it.

"Which way are we going?" Roxie asks calmly. Roxanne Weasley has been my best friend since first year. She's a bit on the short side (I am too, in case you were wondering) and has this gorgeous caramel skin that draws all the attention (of the boy variety) to her. Her being the center of attention is often a good thing for me since I really don't like the spot light. The one time somebody noticed me more than her was because he's related to her and it would just be wrong if he liked her. James Potter. He has soft brown eyes and shaggy black hair. He, contrary to me, is quite tall and his-

Roxie pokes me in the ribs, bringing me out of my developing daydream about James. I sigh in defeat. "The other way," I respond dully. Roxie sends me a small smile, saying wordlessly that she understands, and we turn left out of the Charms classroom instead of walking by a reluctantly hopeful James.

Maybe you would get more out of this daily significant defeat if you knew more about me.

My name is Desdemona Jessica Briar and I am a sixth year Gryffindor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My best friend (as previously stated) is Roxanne Halley Weasley, who's also a sixth year Gryff. Coming in close second is my very bestest guy friend, Louis Weasley, Roxie's cousin (like most everybody in Hogwarts) who is a fifth year in the same house as us. Louis has the Weasley red hair and freckles and he's all tall and gangly because he never works out... unless you call brain strain a workout, which I definitely do not. Suffice to say, the veela genes that him sisters flaunt seemed to just skip him.

At the beginning of the year James Potter (Gryffindor seventh year) asked me out and I was very reluctant. Not only was he the first boy to ask me out (ever) but he was older than me too and I couldn't see what his motives could possibly be. He got Roxie and Louis to 'help' him (they would lure me places where he just happened to be then my lovely friends would mysteriously disappear leaving me in awkward conversation with the boy I was developing a huge crush on) and I eventually cracked. I completely fell for him. Shameful, I know, but he seemed so sincere.

After a few wonderful months of my first boyfriend, our relationship came to a sudden screeching halt that threw me on the road to be left for dead. Turns out I was just the revenge rebound. After I overheard his ex-girlfriend (Callie West, Hufflepuff sixth year) talking in the loos about how she felt sorry for me being the rebound while he still loved her, I confronted him about it. Confronted actually sounds too harsh. We were sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor common room doing homework and I asked, "Hey, how long were you off from Callie before you started going after me?"


Normally that stuff wouldn't be awkward for us, but he gets red (Weasley genes) and his deep brown eyes start wandering. "Umm, well, probably a week or so."


I don't know if I knew then, but I sure feel like I did because I'm sure my brow furled as I stared quizzically at him.

"Was I the rebound?" I asked. I think I sounded a mixture of hurt and angry, which probably scared him.

"At the time." He murmurs. Now, the look on his face was apologetic enough, but I really couldn’t tell if he was sorry I found out, or sorry that ‘At the time’ I was just a rebound.

"At the time?" I demand, standing up in ire. Well, demand and ire may not be the best words. Maybe questioned and confused would work better. But I wished it was demand and ire. "Does that mean that a rebound girlfriend stops being that if you date her for more than a week?"

He stands up too, but in gentle defense rather than mild anger. "At first I was just upset that Callie and I broke up, so I wanted a new girlfriend."

"Any old girl will do, line up ladies and gentlemen." I interrupt with a maniacal masochistic glee in my voice. Well, maybe I couldn’t quite work myself up to maniacal. But masochistic sure fit the bill, I was plenty hurt by what he said and was heaping it on myself, I didn’t even need help from him.

"No," he states firmly, "I started liking you and seeing you as more than just my little cousin's friend, that's when you stopped being the rebound." I look at him skeptically and he continues, “Once I started pursuing you, getting to know you, seeing how silly you are, I started falling for real.”

"Do you still love her?" I practically whisper, fearing the answer but not wanting to live with that particular elephant.

He looks honestly confused when he answers, "Why wouldn't I still love Roxy?"

I sigh in agitation and flex my hand at my side. "Not Roxy, Callie West. I overheard her saying how you’re still going after her and how she is exactly the type of girl you need. I mean, she’s a beautiful leggy blonde with-"

"You are ten times more beautiful," he lies. I'm not stupid, there's a reason that I wasn't asked out for the first sixteen years of my life.

"And you're a liar. You evaded the question then you lied." I feel the tears brimming in my eyes, I have to get out fast 'cause I'm about to get hysterical. "You must still love her. You know what," I don't give him time to answer even though his mouth has been open, trying to get a word in, "go be happy with her, the only reason she was talking about you is because her boyfriend broke up with her, which I’m sure you already knew." I turn around to gather my bag together on the floor as I stuff my quill, ink, and essay into it.

"Why would I want her when I have you?" He almost sounds hurt as he comes over all confused to stand behind me. I'm bending down snapping my bag closed when he lays his hand on my shoulder. As if he actually cares about me, please. It's just so sudden for him, he must not realize that I completely get that he still loves her.

"Well guess what, you don't have me anymore! Go be with the girl you love. She said you’ve already sent her three love letters since they broke up!" I half shout the last part in hysterics, barely keeping the tears in.

"What are you talking about Dess?" He shouts up the stairs in desperation.

 Now two months later, I feel like I could have given the boy more of a chance to explain himself. But I reacted like a sixteen year old, and I freaked out. It happens. It’s one of those things that I wonder about quite frequently. What if I hadn’t gotten upset? What if I had confronted Callie, defending James instead of attacking him? But a world built on What if’s is not a world I want to live in. So I hide my emotions (healthy, I know) and try to think of other things. Like butterflies and daisies... actually, on second thought, I might want to think about something else of the other things variety...

Roxie and I walk past the library on our way to the common room and I turn to her with pleading eyes. "Please Roxie! I would love you forever and ever and ever and ever."

She looks as if she's thinking about it then sighs and leads the way in. If you were to insinuate that I had taken refuge in the library after the worst and only breakup in my life, you would be sorely mistaken. I've never been one to wallow in self-pity and my classes have been important to me since I was a wee little firstie.

We sit at a table in a deserted corner (most places in the library are deserted right after classes) and work on our homework.

Half way through my Transfiguration essay, I get distracted. My whole body freezes up and I almost go to run from the room. It's just a voice for goodness sakes! Get over it! He's here though. In the library, within hearing distance. I look over at Roxie and see that see that she tensed up a bit too.

Louis, with the worst timing ever, walks over to our table and says, "Hey Roxie, Dessy." Both of our eyes go wide and he looks really confused. "What-" he starts but I put my finger quickly and firmly to my lips, indication to him to shut up. He looks around for a second to see what's wrong, but, seeing nothing, he shakes his head and pulls out a chair.

It's that moment that James hears his cousin's voice and he walks out from a few bookshelves over and says, "Louis, I thought that was you." Seeing how Louis is the only one within view from the isle, I have two options here. I can either hide under the table and hope he doesn't notice or I can stick it out and possibly get sick later.

My mind is made up for me when he turns the corner sooner than expected. "Roxie," he hesitates for a moment, studying the carpet, "Dess." Why can he barely even manage to spit out my name? Does he hate me that much since I found out he loves Callie?

When I see him start to move his head upward I immediately put mine down to look as if I'm reading the book. I don't even know what this one is about, but I think he buys it.

He tries to inconspicuously hand a note to Roxie as he slips away, but even with my head in the book I still notice. That boy is hopeless, sneaking is not his forte.

After he is out of the library I put the book down and ask Roxie what's in the note. "Oh, he says he wants me to help him talk to you. I don't know if I should," She bites her lip and looks really torn. "He really seems hung up about you but I don't want him to be able to hurt you again. What do you think?" She asks, looking up. I think he was trying to go for secrecy, but that hardly ever works with my dear Rox, we share everything.

I rest my head in my hand and muse up my auburn hair. What do I want when it comes to him? Can I trust him to be faithful, believe he’s not just looking for a girl naive enough to buy whatever he says? What do I want when it comes to James Sirius Potter? Obviously I’m still infatuated by him, even though we've been over for almost two months. Maybe one talk won't hurt.

"One talk." I say and Roxie immediately grins and nudges Louis who grunts because he appears to have fallen asleep on the table. How can he do that? He sat down not two minutes ago!


"Hey Dess." He shuffles in nervously. One thing about James - He doesn't do anything that doesn't drip with confidence. Most everybody has noticed in the last two months how the Weasley (which includes the Potters) pranking quota has gone down enormously. He and his brother Al and his cousin Fred (Roxie's brother) are the trouble makers at the school. Sometimes Lily helps her brothers, but they don't want to be seen hanging out with a third year too often; they think it'll hurt their reputation. Boys are ridiculous.

I slip down off the desk and walk around it to see him properly. "Hi. Roxie said you wanted to talk." Technically I told Roxie to tell him but that doesn't really matter.

"Yeah. I've been waiting for you outside of all your classes but you never seem to want to walk my way." He seems half sincere, half sarcastic. I’m not sure which half I want to buy. What I do know is that we haven’t been alone since we broke up. All I want to do is rush over to him and put my arms around him and maybe kiss him if I’m feeling confident, but he might get the wrong idea out of that. "I decided that the only way I would be able to talk to you was if I set up an appointment." I fake a small smile at his comment and he continues, "But I really don't think we should have broken up Dessy." He looks so somber, something I know he can only pull off if he actually means it, "I don't know how you feel, but I miss you so much. What broke us up was stupid and trivial, nothing that should be able to destroy a great relationship like ours was." Why does he make me feel like this? I want to protect him from all of this hurt but I also want him to come riding in to save the day. I feel like he's a defenseless creature and a knight in shining armor at the same time. How on earth does he do that?

“I was upset with you. I don’t want you dating me if it’s just because you want to fill the title of James Potter’s Girlfriend. And hearing Callie really set me off.” I guess I’m going to be super honest?

"I don’t know what Callie said, but I am still head over heels for you.” Me? "Dess," he closes the five feet between us and stands real close to me, putting both hands on my shoulders. I shift away a little, uncomfortable with the closeness. “I want to make things work with you."

"Why?" I manage to get out. It seems to be getting quite toasty in this room.

"Why?" He asks incredulously stepping back and throwing his arms in the air. "Because you're perfectly you. Nobody else can even compare." He looks me right in the eye with his soft brown eyes that I love so much and I feel the spell unraveling, or raveling, whatever the phrase may be. I'm about to fall for him again. This can't be good.

My body takes the flight instead of fight option ('cause we all know that there would be absolutely no fighting if I stayed) and I'm up in the girl's dorm faster than I've ever been.

As soon as I slam the door open, I run to Roxy’s bed. “What happened?” she exclaims as I jump onto her bed.

“I hate the way he talks to me.”

A/N: Hello all! Thank you for reading! I published this a few years ago, but I finally have time again to work on it and did a lot of edits for both this chapter and the next. I hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought!

Chapter 2: And The Way You Cut Your Hair
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"Roxy, am I really this stupid?" I ask looking up to my friend with pleading eyes. Yes, I am very pathetic, I know.

"Well..." the harsh reality.

"So I'm one of those stupid annoying girls who can't handle having an ex-boyfriend?" Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.

"Not particularly, but you're also not handling it too well either. It's been two months and you can't do anything when he's even in the same room." She takes a seat on my bed and looks pointedly at me, "Move on and everything will get back to normal."

Well, maybe that is what I need to do. I mean, I don't have to forget about him, just... say there are other fish in the sea. Which is really stupid since I don't even like fish.

"So you want me to get over him?"

She gets this huge smile, jumps up, and shouts "Yes! I'm finally getting through to you! Now let's continue this process. What would happen if you got over James?"

I took a second to think over it, "I would start falling for other boys, but no boy would ever ask me out and I'll die a spinster with eighty seven point six cats." That's not a comforting future.

"No!" she half snorts, half laughs, "You'd go through like twenty more boyfriends until you found the perfect one, got married, settled down and had eighty seven point six kids."

"Is that even possible?"

She was silent for a moment and put on her thinking face (i.e. her chin got all crumpled up and she stared up at the ceiling) then looked back at me, "I'm not sure. I don't know where you'd have to cut for the point six without losing vital organs and-"

"Sarcasm," I interrupt. Gosh the girl can be dense. I see her face slowly relax out of the thinking face and I laugh at her relieved face. Her cognitive ability was apparently not up for the challenge of a point six child.

"Was the whole cat thing sarcasm too?" she asks, half afraid for the answer.

"Yes Rox, I was joking. I'm not stupid, I know that other boys will like me." I roll my eyes for emphasis, but I’m still not sure she gets it.

"So, you'd be up for a date with that one Ravenclaw this weekend?"

"Which one?" I ask, "The blonde one with the hair or the uber cute dorky redhead?"

"The dorky one of course!" she says as if it was completely obvious.

"But what about Selena...Melina...Marina... whatever his girlfriend's name is?"

"Alex?" she asks, perplexed.

"Yeah, her!"

"They broke up like four months ago."

"Really? Poor Alex!" I actually do feel for the girl. "But it's not like he would want to go out with me anyway. I mean, I'm Dess Briar. There's nothing special about me."

"Well is there something special about me?" Roxy asks in her voice that indicates I'm about to get a lecture.

"Yes. You draw attention from people."

"And why would someone who draws attention spend all their time with someone without anything special in their personality?"

I think about this for a second. "Because you like the attention?" I guess.

"Desdemona! You think that I just love attention? That I crave the spotlight?" She glares at me in a don't-be-stupid way.

"Ugh no, but I don't know why you do hang out with me all the time. Is it because you don't like our other dorm mates?"

"Yes, that must be why," she states with her voice absolutely lathered in an irritated sarcasm.

"Sorry. I don't know why then."

"Because you're fun to be around. You are quite dense though. Even with that, any boy would be lucky to get you and the ones that let you go are losers."

I roll my eyes at this sentimental comment. I don't do very well with feelings. Getting up from my bed I ask her if she wants dinner. When she confirms that she does, we leave and walk down the staircase to the common room. I keep my eyes averted as we walk through, just in case.


"So would you go out with Adam if he asked you?" Roxy asks as we fill our plates.

"Ew, not him." Louis interrupts.

"Why?" Roxy looks all perplexed as she asks.

"He's just... not someone you want around. That's all." He looks back down at his plate and continues eating his potatoes in a slightly embarrassed manner.

Roxy and I exchange raised eyebrows before continuing our conversation, "Who's Adam?" I ask. I'm not the best with people or the names of those people that I'm not the best with.

"The dorky Ravenclaw? That we were talking about earlier."

"Oh! Is that his name?" Good to know! I was kind of wondering what it was. She rolls her eyes at me. "Well, he'd have to do it in a really romantic way."

"So like serenading you outside of the last class of the day?" she asks, trying to get my view of romantic.

"Can he sing?" It's the obvious question that I must ask.

"I don't know."

"Well if he can't sing, then I don't want him to serenade me. Plus, that would be more embarrassing than romantic."

"Ugh, so what if he..." she breaks off and puts on her thinking face. I just leave her there in her world while I dig into my dinner.

I feel someone sit on the bench next to me and almost choke on my chicken. James Potter is sitting next to me, filling his plate like it's not the weirdest thing that he has ever done. Tolkien looks up (his head had stayed down from when he embarrassed himself) and doesn't look surprised to see him there. "Hey James," he murmurs between bites.

On hearing her cousin's name, Roxy looks around and her thinking face morphs into a wide eyed what-are-you-doing-here look. Probably the same one that's on my face. James doesn't seem to notice.

"James," Roxy starts in a tense voice. I know what's going through her mind- she just convinced me to get over the boy and now here he is, sitting right next to me. He looks up at his name, an expectant expression on his face. "What are you doing here?"

He looks relieved that it's such an easy question. "Well I decided to take a new approach is all."

"To what?" Roxy asks incredulously.

"Dess," is his simple response.

Oh no, that's me. Not good. Does that mean that he’s still trying to get to me? Not good. In fact, it's bad. All bad. No good. I'm sure my eyes are as huge as saucers now and I keep my head focused down, hoping I'm not blushing or going to vomit.

"Go away," Roxy replies.


"I don't want to see your face, go away."

"My face is beautiful thank you." It really is.

Oh great. This is going to turn from a Dess thing to a pride thing for Roxy. "Well your hair isn't. What'd you do, decide to go for a mullet?" What? His hair is beautiful. I sneak a look up and am shocked to see that his hair is different. I'm so shocked I forget I'm hiding from him and stare blatantly at it.

"What'd you do to it?" I ask, half attracted by the sudden change, half repulsed by the cut itself.

He looks at me as if happy that his plan was working. It isn't, no need to worry. "Well I thought it was too long, so I cut a little off by myself."

It's shorter than it was last time I saw him. In the classroom. Where he was attractive and- No! Can't think of that. It's shorter, a major change from the usual style. Before it was kind of almost shaggy, but now it's not even mildly shaggy. And, being completely honest, it's a bad cut and a bad look for him. "Okay then," I draw out as I turn my head back down.

"Okay, you've shown off, now go." Roxy was never one to get easily distracted.

"Rudeness!" He says with a laugh in his voice.

I can tell from a peek up that Roxy's trying hard to stay mad. I might as well take her out of her misery, "It's fine Rox, he can stay."

James perks up and, in an excited voice, asks, "I can?"

"Yeah," I make brief eye contact with him. "You guys are cousins, you shouldn't fight over me. Plus, I'm done. I'll be in the room doing homework, okay Roxy?"

She nods her head in silent agreement and I stand up and walk out of the Great Hall.

Who in the world would think of cutting his hair to get attention? I don’t understand humans.

 A/N: Thank you for reading! I redid the first two chapters as I am picking up this story again! Hope you enjoied.

Chapter 3: I Hate it When You Stare
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"Okay, now he's just being obvious!" I exclaim to Roxy as we sit "studying" in the library. After getting hushed by the Ravenclaws in the corner, I continue in a quieted voice, "Louis wasn't even this obvious the first time!"

"I know!" she whispers back. "You'd think that he would have learned. Obviously the boy has-"

"Hey guys, what's up?" Louis asks as he takes a seat at our table. Roxy and I share a look then proceed to glance at him. He seems perfectly normal to the untrained eye, but I can tell he's jittery- like he just did something that was completely against the rules.

"Studying," Roxy says in a slightly confrontational tone. "Where have you been for the last three hours and," she glances at her watch, "twenty-seven minutes?"

"Nowhere much," he replied in a faux casual manner. I look at Roxy and we mutually agree to let the topic simmer until we have better proof.

"Well will you go then?" Roxy asks me, changing the topic. 

"Well he is kind of dreamy..." I let off with a dramatic sigh

"Wait! What?" Louis interrupts, obviously not liking the direction of the conversation.

Roxy and I chuckle as we exchange glances. "We were talking about Adam yesterday, remember?"

"Did you get a date with him?" he nervously exclaims. The Ravenclaw shushes us again, but this time adds in a glare. 

Roxy glares back and I continue the conversation, "Well crazily enough, he asked me to the next Hogsmead weekend when Roxy convinced me to stop and borrow a quill for him."

Louis looks freaked for a moment then regains his composure, "Cool, too bad he's a jerk."

"I'll deal," I say with a sweet smile. That'll teach him to sneak around behind our backs. 

Roxy and I exchange glances as Louis angrily grabs his bag and storms out of the library.

We start to giggle, he’s so easy to fluster! I hadn’t really borrowed a quill or been asked by Adam, but it was fun to pretend when we know he’s working for James.


Over the next week, I keep finding James...glancing at me. Sometimes I’ll just turn my head and he’ll be looking my way. Once he sees me though, he averts his gaze. It’s a little weird. In the common room, in the Great Hall, even at the Quidditch game.

The Quidditch game, however, was quite the event. We’re up against Hufflepuff. It’s Mid-March. Bring it on.

Roxy and I get to the pitch with the rest of the school about fifteen minutes before the game. We chose seats fairly high up so we have a good view. The Gryffindor team had really shaped up this year and is doing much better now that Andrew Slake, the previous seeker, graduated. It wasn’t really that Slake was all that bad, only that he had a propensity for falling off his broom when he got excited. It was unfortunate that time he was about five hundred feet up. If Professor Dumbledore hadn’t been there, it would have been bad.

The game started up and Gryffindor was quick to score. Lily Potter, a fourth year and Slake’s replacement, was scanning for the snitch. The game looks a lot more promising with her in it. That is, until Roxy elbows me, pointing at her cousin. “What is he doing?” she asks.

I look up and see that he is looking our way. What is he doing? That haircut still looks awful. I am pretty sure he can’t see us well enough because normally by now he would have looked away. She continues in a voice of disbelief, “It looks like he’s lost it! He’s daydreaming!”

A Hufflepuff chaser goes right past him and scores a goal. “Oh, and it looks like that one just slipped right through Potter’s oblivious hands!” The commentator yells in awe as the Hufflepuffs cheer.

That was enough to snap James back into reality. The captain, Caitlin Cadigan flies over and starts yelling at James. He doesn’t seem fazed by the yelling; even I know that the girl’s Irish comes out quite frequently when she gets upset. “And it looks like Cadigan is really tearing into Potter folks! Poor time to miss a block. And we’re returning to the game! Hufflepuff takes a quick possession. It doesn’t help that the Gryffindor captain and star chaser is still over by the keeper, lecturing him by the looks of it!” The commentator continues.

After about half an hour, the score is 50-30 Gryffindor. Unfortunately, James is looking my way again and starting to get that weird face again. “Roxy! Why is he doing this? They’re going to lose if he doesn’t concentrate!”

Roxy looks over at her cousin with a helpless face. “Do we need to leave? Hide somewhere he can’t see us”

“I don’t know if that would help, I bet he can’t really see us that well anyway!”

Thankfully, he perks up when he hears the commentator say his name. “And Hoyle,” one of the Hufflepuff chasers, “is headed straight toward Potter, hoping for another easy goal. Oh! But Potter saves it!”

The game continues in the same way, Potter getting distracted and barely catching the quaffle, for another hour until Lily perks up and starts shooting for the ground. The Hufflepuff chaser is on the other side and struggling to catch up.

“It looks as if Potter has sighted the snitch! She is diving for it. Liam Nolan is just a hair behind her. Will a hair be too much folks? Potter is getting closer, turning, excellent block by Weasley with that bludger, and SHE GETS THE SNITCH! Gryffindor wins 230-60.”


The party up in the common room is pretty great. Nothing too rambunctious, but plenty of fun. The only problem is James keeps glancing at me. If I wasn’t convinced before that he’s going after me, I am now.

“Wow, James did so well in the game, don’t you think?” Louis asks as he walks over to Roxy and me.

“Not exceptionally, he let quite a few in. And that one time he didn’t even try to stop it. He didn’t do his best this game, that’s for sure.” Roxy replied.

“Yeah, but he still won us the game!” Louis replies with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Actually, Lily won the game,” I tell him, amused by how obvious he is.

“But James still did well, right? Did you see that time he blocked Hoyle’s trick shot? That was great!”

“Louis! That wasn’t a trick shot! He was just trying to make sure Potter had still lost his concentration!” Roxy replies. This boy seriously would not quit!

James walks past, sneaking a glance our way, per usual, when Louis grabs his elbow and starts in. “James, you would not believe how impressed these two are with the game you played today! Dess was saying how she loved how you blocked Hoyle’s trick shot. And Roxy really loved your comeback after Cadigan got onto you. How do you think the game went?”

Obviously the two had planned this little moment because James shoots Louis a look and a grin before saying “That’s so sweet ladies! I didn’t think you were paying that much attention to me! Man, I guess it is hard to look away sometimes, right Louis?”

“Oh yeah!” he replies. “Sometimes I see all the girls looking your way the whole game!”

“Are you trying to make me jealous?” I ask, quite confused at the route of the conversation.

“Oh! Dear Dess! I could never make you jealous, you don’t like me, remember?” James asks, a challenge in his voice.

I put on a sweet smile and say “So this is a new strategy too? See if you can make me jealous after almost losing the game because you couldn’t keep your eyes off me?” His cheat deflates, I’m not normally that outspoken. That is the type of thing I normally say in my head, not out loud. Might as well keep it going while I feel the courage “And your hair? It looks like someone tried, and failed, to shave a skunk. You might want to get it fixed.” 

A/N: Thanks so much for reading. I'm really enjoying writing this story again, hopefully you're enjoying reading it!