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Nikki Scott's List of Reasons Not to Fraternize with James and Albus Potter by Sweet Decadence

Format: Novella
Chapters: 17
Word Count: 40,228
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Fluff, Humor
Characters: Scorpius, Albus, James (II), Lily (II), Hugo, Rose, OC
Pairings: Other Pairing

First Published: 12/08/2008
Last Chapter: 12/13/2011
Last Updated: 12/13/2011

amazing new banner- the_tofuubeaver @ TDA. ilyrita

My name is Nikki. And I am foolishly best friends with the Potter boys. Not a good idea. It's because of them that I am constantly in detention. I'm no longer allowed near anything that involves fire, cute furry animals, tomahawks, pineapples, dung bombs, Moaning Myrtle, the whomping willow, Divination Class, and well, anything. Okay, maybe some of it was my idea. Like turning Scorpius Malfoy into a lemming.

Chapter 1: Reason 1, Detention 1.
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(A/N: Thanks to my beta inti!!! You know you rock my socks!!! loff you!!!)

Ch. Image thanks to AuburnFair @ TDA. Thanks so much ILY!!!

So as you can tell, my name is Nikki Scott. Well, it's actually Nikole Elexis Scott. But I don't need people calling me Nikole. Only my parents call me that. And only when I've done something bad. I’m a Gryffindor, and damn proud to be one. I am also proud to be Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.
I am not, however, proud to be the best friend of the ridiculously famous Potter Boys. I swear to Merlin, if I see one more article in Witching Weekly about which Potter I'm dating this week, I'm going to go absolutely bonkers and storm into an Obliteration Spree. A spree like that is not something you want to get in the way of.

Of course, thanks to said Potter Boys, I have served a total of 32 detentions this school year. And it's only the second week of December. Which got me more "Nikole Elexis!"'s from my parents than I think is even really humanly possible. Of course that would also confirm my suspicions that they really are aliens and I was adopted from a gypsy caravan or something extravagant like that.
 So, in order to enlighten you on why no one should ever become good acquaintances with James and Albus, I shall explain exactly how and why I received every detention.

Let's go back to the first week of the school year.

It had been an entirely normal day so far. I never saw it coming. Which was stupid.

Something bad is always coming with those two.

Albus and I are both in Sixth Year, and for some reason the Slytherins and Gryffindors share most classes together. Normally I would hate this, but Al is a Slytherin so we sit together. 

Now, I know everyone says Albus is a quiet boy and for the most part he is. However, that doesn't make him any less of a trouble maker.

Sure he's not nearly as bad as James, but really, that isn’t saying much. 

So when you put those two together, you have a deathtrap.
Add me to the mix and you get- what's worse than a deathtrap? Hell, I guess.

Breakfast and the first two classes of the day went by without any particular incidents, which is usually a good sign. 

Potions is where everything went wrong. We had a double period, and since Slughorn is quite lazy these days- because he's an old fart and all- he only taught the first one then let us start our homework while he supervised.
Albus and I are quite good at Potions, so it wasn't difficult. We were writing a three-foot paper on the negative effects of making a love potion.
Some of the girls in our Year had been caught trying to make one, and that didn't go over well with old Sluggy, so he pretty much tortured us all. I don’t know why they were trying to make one, I have a funny feeling it had something to do with James though.
Anyway, I was just about finished when he waddled over to mine and Albus' table to check on us.

"Miss Scott, Mr. Potter, how are we doing over here?"

Slughorn loved Albus, surprise, surprise. Slughorn was famous for handpicking his favorites, the talented, the famous and the well connected. Al was all three. I was his friend, so that got me in the old crankpot's good graces, thank Merlin.

"Fine. Almost done, Professor," I said quietly.

"I am done," Albus bragged.

"Splendid, Mr. Potter!"

"Yeah, little Miss Scott here is a slowpoke," Albus laughed.

"I am not," I grumbled. I mean come on! How many other students were even close to done with theirs?

"Yeah? Then why do I finish everything before you?" he teased as he pinched my cheek.

It was this one final taunt from Al that set things in motion. One pinch of my admittedly very cute cheek, and it all goes downhill.

I just wanted to hit him with my wand a little and maybe turn his hair bubblegum pink. Unfortunately for me, after the third smack on his head, the stupid little piece of wood in my hand malfunctioned and- you guessed it- set my almost complete homework ablaze. Totally not my fault! I don’t even know how to shoot flames like that from my wand! 

As if that wasn't bad enough, good old Horace happened to be leaning over our table, and the stupid bloody explosion caught his crazy, disturbing, somehow magical brows aflame.

He looks much better without them let me tell you. They irk me so much. I swear in his extreme old age, well old age anyway, they just get longer and bigger and hairier and freakier every year. On top of that, I swear they defy gravity. It looks like there are these two huge grey, flying caterpillars sleeping on his forehead. Don’t look at me like that, it’s true.

Anywho, Albus burst out laughing like a hyena while I sputtered how sorry I was- while trying to hold back laughter of my own.

"Miss Scott..." he said sternly after he extinguished his browflames, "Not only will you re-write that whole essay, you will write another one- of the same length- as to why you should never hit a fellow student with your wand. And detention for both of you. Tonight."

"What! Why me?" Albus whined, sobering up.

"Because, Mr. Potter, you provoked her. I'm very disappointed with the both of you. Seven P.M., my office please," he said pointedly as he walked away.

"I hate you, Albus Potter," I snarled as he picked his jaw up off the floor. The detention seemed to have come as quite a shock to him. Clearly Slughorn’s favoritism didn’t extend to eyebrows.

"No you do not, you love me," he said with a smirk as he threw his arm over my shoulder.

"I'll get you back, Al. I swear to Merlin," I promised as I shrugged his arm off of me.

"Sure you will," he laughed.

And I so would. Really.

As soon as class was over, I gathered my things quickly and rushed off to the Great Hall for lunch, not even bothering to wait for Al.

I was still oh so mad at him. I slammed my stuff on the bench next to me and sighed heavily, not even noticing James walking behind me.

"What did Al do now, Nikki?"

I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Bloody hell, James! Don’t do that to me!"

"Sorry," he said with a grin as he sat next to me, "So what did Al do now?"

"What makes you think it was Al?" I sneered at my plate as I stabbed the chips with my knife. Me? Subtle? I think not.

"One, I recognized the sigh and the slamming of your stuff onto the bench. Two, you didn't even notice me, which means you went into Potter-Hate Mode. Three, you're stabbing your lunch. Four, I know you just came from Double Potions with him."

Stupid observant prat.

Just so you know, Potter-Hate Mode is when I don't notice a single one of them- because one of, or both of, James and Albus, has done something extremely git-ish that irritates me to no end.

It's like my brain deliberately ignores anything with the Potter gene. So much so that I don't even realize when I do it. I quite like my brain sometimes.

"Your stupid git of a brother got me not only a double assignment, but a damn detention," I grumbled.

"Wow, and it's only the fourth day of school. You even beat me," he laughed, "What the hell did he make you do?"

I mumbled under my breath. I did not need the rest of the school to hear about it. Oh, wait this is Hogwarts. They did already know.

"I'm sorry, Nik, I didn't catch that seeing as you were mumbling and all."

"I may have started a little fire."

"What kind of fire, like, a cauldron explosion? Cause that shouldn't get you a detention, I used to do that all the time."

"More like a... 'Horace Slughorn's Creepy Eyebrows Gone Ablaze' fire," I flinched.

He looked at me for a moment before oh so maturely bursting into hysterics.

"How in Merlin's name did you manage that?" He managed to choke out.

"Well, we were working on our homework, since Sluggy is too lazy to actually teach us anyway, and I was almost done when that good old Professor of ours decided to drop in on Albus and I. 
Of course Al started bragging about how he's faster than me, so I was just going to beat him with my wand a little and turn his hair pink.
Yeah, except it didn't work like that. Stupid thing malfunctioned, flames everywhere, homework on fire, right when stupid Horace was leaning over our table.
His eyebrows went bye-bye quick-quick.

"As did the vast majority of a three-foot essay that was shaping up quite nicely.

“My workload suffered a heavier loss than ol’ Sluggish did.
But noooo. As punishment I have to re-write the essay AND do another one the same length on why I shouldn't beat your brother with my wand, AND serve a Seven P.M. detention."

"What about Albus?"

"He just got detention," I snapped

"We'll fix that. No way is he getting away with just a detention when you have double homework," James smirked.

I like the way that boy thinks. I like the way he smirks as well. He could smirk for England, that James Potter.

"Of course, it could end up in a detention for us," he pointed out.

"It always does" I grinned.

"Okay, bring me all the pineapples you can find on the table," he chuckled as he motioned to the fruit platters. "We’re going to need them."

Chapter 2: Reason 2, Detention 2
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(A/N: Thanks to my totally awesome beta inti who made this even better. I loff you darlin!!!)
(Amazing ch image thank to AuburnFair @ TDA, thanks so much ily!)

"Here, James," I said as I handed him the last two pineapples I could gather from our table. 

James had tried to convince me to get the ones from the Hufflepuff table, but I'm not that stupid. Al’s a smart kid and would have definitely have realized something was up.

 James gathering all the fruit on our table was not an unusual occurrence. He tended to make concoctions out of them later. Like that time he made some apple cider and gave it to the Ravenclaws. I’m sure the Firewhiskey ending up in there was purely accidental. I'm getting off track.

"Come on, Nikki, go get Hufflepuff's," he whined.

"No, James! Are you nutters? We have enough."

"We only have 18!"

"James, that’s plenty! I only want to get Albus! Hell, all we need is like, three, in case he manages to dodge a couple!" I whispered harshly.

Stupidly, I glanced at the Slytherin table. That damn Albus caught my eye and gave me the "I'm On To You Two" look that I had become great friends with.
It’s also known as the "Ginny" look, because she does the exact same thing when she's getting suspicious. The look got passed on to Lily as well. James however doesn’t have it.

 Maybe it's because he's too thick to suspect anything half the time. Like when he didn't realize that Al was walking less than a foot behind him in an attempt to shove snow down his pants... Sorry, I'm getting off track again. I do that a lot. But from that look I was getting, I was wondering if James was right about 18 not being enough.

"James, he's on to us," I muttered, trying to keep my mouth closed as much as possible.

"He's always on to us, because we're always plotting against him. He's not stupid; he knows I only gather things for mischief. But he doesn’t know exactly why we're gathering them. Element of surprise Nikki, he'll never see this coming," he grinned.

"I don't know, James. He looks pretty bloody aware of what's going on to me. For one, he knows I'm pissed off at him," I snuck a glance over James' shoulder, "and for two, he's glaring at us. This is never going to work."

"Nik, you always say that, and guess what? It always works."

"It better, or it’s going to be a detention for no good reason." I groaned.

"Nikki, I swear to you, it'll be worth the detention," He smirked.

"I'm holding you to that, Potter," I huffed as I crossed my arms.

"Is he still watching?"


He muttered a few words I didn't catch as he pointed his wand at the group of pineapples.

"Ready for this feat of magnificence?" he smiled.

"Let's get this detention assigned," I retorted.

I’m the King err Queen of witty repartee.

Suddenly they were off. James had flicked his wand, sending all eighteen pineapples flying across the Hall. They were going seriously fast as well. There was no way Albus could dodge them all. James was right. The look of horror on his face was priceless before he was knocked off the bench. As an added bonus James had accidentally on purpose perfectly shot a few of the pineapples off at various Slytherins. The sight of at least a dozen Slytherins sitting around Al falling to the floor as well was gratifying to say the least. 

James and I were laughing so hard we had fallen off of our benches, holding our sides in hysterics.

By the time my best friend Sluggy came over to us and cleared his throat to get our attention, I was laughing so hard I couldn't see him through my tear-filled eyes.

"Miss Scott. That is twice is one day you have assaulted someone in my house. This time however, you’ve not only knocked Albus out, but 13 of his little friends.
That’s double detention tonight, Miss Scott. Mr. Potter, you will join her at nine."

When we finally made it back onto our seats, you could practically see the steam coming out of Albus' ears, he was livid. 

I snuck a glance at the teachers to see why someone else hadn't punished us. It quickly became apparent that most of the Professors were trying to hide their smiles. Good old Minerva was actually stifling giggles. For once our pranks had made the teachers laugh.

"Look at that Nik, we actually got Minnie the Monster laughing," James chuckled.

"You were right, James, that was so worth it," I giggled as I high-fived him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that first part. What did you say?"

"I said you were right."

"That's what I thought," he grinned triumphantly.

"What did you do?!" Rose Weasley screamed as she came over to us with a pineapple covered Scorpius Malfoy.

Serves him right, stupid Slytherin.

"Blame Albus. It's his fault" James said sternly.

"But why in Merlin's name did you have to hit all of us?" Scorpius growled.

"Well…because you're a Slytherin”

Ah, the classic James Potter line. He says that exact thing every time a Slytherin questioned one of his pranks against them.

"Stupid!" Rose yelled as she smacked him in the back of the head and walked out of the hall, dragging Scorpius with her.

I loathe the Malfoys. Even Scorpius. Rose says he’s different. She has no idea what she’s talking about. Inherited her mother's brain my arse.

"I love that she can't tell my mum or dad what I did, because they wouldn't care. They'd laugh as hard as we did."

"Yeah," I piped up, "Until she told them you hit Al too."

"Ugh, good point," he said as he dropped his head into his hands, "Dad's gonna kill me."

"Oh, I thought it was gonna be worth it, Potter?" I smirked.

"I said the detention was going to be worth it. The punishment that will fall on me from my parents for hitting precious little goody-two shoes Albus? Not so much.
Hell hath no fury like that of my Mum. I’ve learned that lesson well don’t you worry. Why do I always forget my parents are going to find out?”

"Because, James m’dear, you're too wrapped up in the moment."

He mumbled something incoherently and slammed his head on the table. I winced. It really did look quite painful.

My first half of detention went by without a single incident. Which is probably because Albus was way on the other side of the room, not talking to me. Seriously, they were just pineapples. It's not like it was wine, or something that might stain. Someone needs to tell that boy to man up. Jeez.

Anywho, I had to write lines from Seven to Nine. Not fun.

"I will not hit my partner with my wand, it is unsafe." I will never forget that sentence for as long as I live, seeing as I had to write it fifty billion freaking times. Okay maybe I over-exaggerated a tad, but still, I ended up with like, seven pieces of parchment! I really need to work on writing slower I think.

That detention was so completely boring, so completely unorthodox it’s no wonder Sluggy's not married. I bet if he had kids, they would run away and join the circus. Or a gypsy caravan. Yeah, being on a gypsy caravan sounds much more charming than even being slightly related to good old Horace. Yes I can tell character by detention given. It’s a talent I know.

Thankfully, he's not a complete prat, and he let me stretch my legs while we waited for James to come and take Albus' place. And guess what Albus' did the whole time I was walking around the room? Glared daggers at me. In all seriousness, if looks could kill, I would have been dead fifty-seven times over. I counted.

Finally James walked in. Albus shoved out of his seat and shouldered his brother roughly.

"Wonder what his problem is?" James chuckled.

"Not the slightest idea," I grinned back.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Scott, take your seats now."

We both sighed heavily as we slunk into seats next to each other.

"No huffing. You two got yourselves into this mess. Lines, please," he said as he set the parchments on the table and walked to his desk.

"No huffing. Blah blah blah bloody blah," James mocked.

"Silence, please," Slughorn snapped.

"Bossy old crankpot," James muttered under his breath.

I snickered and started my lines.

"Whatcha doin?" James said around 10:30.

"James, I have been doing the same thing as you for an hour and a half."

"But it's so boring," he said as he poked me with his quill.

"James, we only have thirty bloody minutes left, stop poking me."


Not even five minutes later, he was at it again. This time, he decided to draw on me.

"What are you doing?" I snapped in a whisper as I tore my arm away.

"Drawing, what does it look like? Now, give it back," he said as he tugged my arm back into place.

I let him go and didn't dare look at what he was drawing. I was scared already.

Finally detention was over.

"You do realize, Potter," I started as I slammed my quill on the table and piled my parchments up, "that ink doesn't come out for days."

"I am well aware of this fact, Scott," he smirked.

Merlin, James Potter is hot when he smirks.

Woah. Where did that come from? Snap out of it Nikki. This is James bloody Potter you're thinking about. He is not hot. Ew.

Except when he smirks. Or grins. Or smiles. Or is angry. Or anytime at all.

Crap. This can’t be good.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and brought my lines up to Sluggy McSluggins.

"Thank you, Miss Scott. And you may want to wash your arm," he said.

"Yes, I probably should. Thank you, Professor."

"Goodnight, Sir," James said as he dropped off his lines, grinned widely at me, and rushed out of the room like he had done something wrong.

I fearfully looked at my arm, and sure enough, he had done something wrong. Because written across my forearm in huge elaborate writing was four words.

"Property of James Potter."

I'll kill him. If I don’t snog him first.

I hate my life.

Chapter 3: Reason 3, Detention 3
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Beta: Inti- Thank you loff, if it wasn't for you, I probably would have stopped this awhile ago.

ch image- AuburnFair @ TDA    ILY!!!!
Apparently the Malfoys don't like being turned into rodents. Funnily enough they have quite a history of it. The story about our beloved Scorpius’ dearest Father, a certain Draco Malfoy, being turned into a ferret by Mad-Eye Moody was a Hogwarts legend. Well, technically it was Barty Crouch, not Moody, but that’s a story for another day.
If being turned into a ferret was bad enough for dear old Draco, my transfiguring Scorpius Malfoy into a lemming- nature's retard- was far, far worse.

That detention was most definitely worth it, quite possibly the most deserving ever. As was earning the wrath of Rose. And James was with me the whole way. I love James. In a strictly, strictly, platonic way. No I do not like looking at his abs, even if they are unbelievably chiseled. That boy should not be allowed to wear a shirt.

It had not been a good three days after my double detention, to say the least. For one, Albus still refused to talk with me. Or sit with me for that matter. Secondly, I could not for the life of me wash off James' precious "artwork" And what did that get me? More strife. Snickers, death glares, "I Told You It Was True’s”, you name it. It had washed away a bit, but it was still clearly visible what it said.

This particular day however, was infinitely worse.

Let me start by telling you that before this year, Rose and I were the best of friends. Sure she hated the fact that I was always getting in trouble, but at least she was there to keep me out of some of it. And then this school year rolled around, and that stupid prat of a Malfoy decided he was going to ask her out first day back. I kept telling her "Rose, you're wrong about him, he's as Malfoy as they come. He's no different from his psycho - Death Eater Father," But would she listen to me? Nooo. Rose Weasley does what Rose Weasley wants.

Needless to say, we hadn't been spending as much time together as we used to, seeing as she sits with that sod every chance she gets.

And on this day, this terrible awful day, Little Miss Ginger decided to go on ahead and bring the Anti-Christ to OUR table for lunch.

That didn't fly well. With me or James.

Hell, even Lily was peeved. And that’s saying something.

I tried to ignore the arrogant little prat, I really did. But when he was sitting right next to me trying to engage me in some kind of High-Class la-di-dah discussion about some new Ministry policity, it was a little difficult to ignore him. Especially when every time he'd say something he thought was even remotely funny; he'd nudge me with his disgusting Slytherin elbow.

I swear Rose sat him next to me on purpose just to get me back for the not-so-accidental pineapple bombing.

And as pissed-off as James was that he was at our table, he seemed to be getting quite a bit of enjoyment out of my extreme discomfort. Damn James. What did I ever do to him?

"So, Nikki, I hear tell that you and James got detention for what you did to us the other day. Looks like Potter had his fun," Malfoy smirked as he shoved a piece of steak in his mouth and motioned to my arm.

He did not get to imply that. No one got to imply that.

"Sod off, you lanky git," I sneered as I quickly thrust my sleeve down. Oh wow, brilliantly witty repartee I hear you say. Well, I was angry.

I really need to stop forgetting to hide James' proof of mischief.

"What's with the hostility?" Laughed Malfoy.

"That? That wasn't hostility. This," I growled as I dead-legged him as hard as I could, "is hostility."

And with that I stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall back to the Gryffindor Common Room. I burst through the portrait hole and slumped on a couch, crossed my arms, and tried to connive a way to get him back for all those damned elbow nudges.

Heh Heh, connive. I love that word.

But of course, I couldn't even do that in peace. Because when there's a Potter in your life, there is no peace.

"You know you practically made Malfoy cry, right?" James laughed as he jogged into the common room, "How hard did you hit him?"

"Is he still alive?" I grumbled.

"Well, yeah," James replied, confused.

"Then it wasn’t hard enough." I snapped. Wow I really was angry.

"Why are you pouting?" He asked as he sat next to me on the couch and threw his legs over my lap.

"I'm not pouting."

"Nik, your arms are crossed, and you have your 'Disappointed' face. You're pouting."

"No, I'm not." I snapped as I smacked him in the head, "I'm not pouting."

"Yeah, whatever you say. No need to deny it though, because you're completely adorable when you pout."

I hate- no, I abhor- being called adorable.

"Call me adorable... ONE more time, James Sirius Potter," I growled threateningly.

"Nikole Elexis Scott, you are A-DOR-A-BLE," he smirked.

Merlin, I hate it when he smirks. For the most infinitesimal second I forget what I was thinking about. Then I remembered.

I shoved his legs off of mine, leapt on him, and pinned his chest down with my knees while I grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled.

"What did I tell you?"

"Don't stop Nikki, you know I love it rough," he grinned.

I scowled at him, yanked a goodly clump of his hair out, and back my place on the couch.

"OW! You are just having a blast causing people pain today aren't you?" He said as he rubbed the spot on his hair that was now missing enough hair to be noticeable.

Yes, I have a strong arm, and it causes a surprising amount of damage if used properly. It must be all that epic Snitch catching I do.

"I need to get Malfoy back," I said blandly.

"Giving him a dead-leg wasn't enough, eh?"

I just gave him the "Are You a Bloody Moron?" look he had grown quite familiar with over the past six years.

"Right, Slytherin. A dead-leg would never be enough," he chuckled.

Damn him and his chuckle that resounds melodically off any wall. I never knew a chuckle could be attractive until James Potter came around.

Damn me for thinking these things about James Potter.

"You're great at Transfiguration. Perfect marks, if I remember correctly," He smirked as he sat up and moved in closer.

"James Potter you are bloody brilliant," I grinned as I leaned my forehead on his quickly and sped up to my room to get the humungous Transfiguration book that he had bought me the previous Christmas.

What? I happen to be very interested in it, so curse me.

I skipped back down the stairs with the ridiculously heavy book in my arms to see James sitting in front of the couch, legs extended out and his head leaning on the cushions.

I sat down next to him, startling his little daydream or snooze, whatever the hell it was.

"What do we transfigure him into?" I asked I flipped the pages directly to the small, furry animal section.

No it was not actually called "The Small, Furry Animal Section."

"Something stupid," he said as he leaned on my shoulder and peered at the pages.

"Again, your brilliance saves the day," I smiled as I pointed to the picture of a lemming.

"What in Merlin's name is that? A mutant gerbil?"

"It's a lemming, James."

"That doesn't look like any lemon I've ever seen."

"James, you idiot. I said lemming, not lemon. LEMM-ING."

"Oh. Right, I knew that. I was just, er, testing you."

"Sure you were," I chuckled.

"SO what exactly is a... lemming?"

"Only the stupidest rodent ever."

"How is it stupid?"

"Well, when they migrate, they tend to 'accidentally', um, well, fall off cliffs into the ocean. Things like that."

"So you're telling me you want to turn Malfoy into a rodent that's so retarded it drowns itself?"


"Nikki, I bloody love you," he laughed as he kissed my forehead.

"Yeah, I kind of love me too."

So, there James and I were, sitting under the big oak tree outside, waiting for Rose and Scorpius to go on their scheduled walk around the lake. Good thing that Albus had ever so graciously told me about it. I suppose it was before our little tiff though.

We had been sitting there for about thirty minutes, and I was starting to get a teensy bit bored since James was leaning against the tree "resting his eyes" as he called it, when what did my wonderful eyes behold but Ginger and Blondie walking out of the castle.

"James," I whispered as I nudged him out of his little doze.

I don't know what on earth that boy does that's so damn strenuous it causes him to nap constantly.

"Huh... wha?" He muttered as he rubbed his eyes.

"They're coming."

"Hey, Nik, call me a moron, but do you really think turning him into something that is noted for drowning itself is the smartest thing to do by a lake?"

"They only do that in packs, or whatever it is they make when they're together."

"Yeah, but one of them has to be the leader. I mean, if there wasn't a King Lemming, wouldn't they all just scatter about? What if you turn him into the King Lemming or whatever?"

"James, the only thing that jerk will ever be king of is King of the Gits."

" You make a valid point. So how are we gonna do this?"

"Well, I was thinking I'd just quietly get him as he walks by."

"Then what do you need me awake for?" He whined.

"Oh shut it, you hate him just as much as I do, you know you don't want to miss this. Plus, you're here for moral support," I said as I playfully slapped his leg.

"No, I am not here for your 'moral support', I'm here because you don't want to serve that detention alone," he frowned.

"Same difference."

"The things I do for you, woman," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Shush! Now pretend like you're not paying attention to them, or Rose will figure it out."

"She's going to murder us with her Weasley Rage. You realize this, right?"


"Well, at least I can't get in trouble with Mum and Dad for this one," he sniggered, "Dad'll be praising me for weeks."

"I'm sure your Uncle will as well."

"Uncle Ron won't praise me."

I looked at him skeptically when a huge grin broke out on his face.

"He'll be bowing and kissing my feet for the rest of his life."

I burst out into laughter, causing an awkward glance from Rose to shoot over at me as they inched closer.

I simply smiled and waved at her- making sure to scowl at Malfoy- and turned back to James.

Merlin knows, if I smiled at him, she'd have us all figured out right away.

"In about... oh… thirty seconds, turn around and pretend you're looking at the lake," he whispered with a smile as he looked up at the sky.

I have to give James that. He's exceptionally good at looking inconspicuous. That may have to do with the empty brain though.

Okay that may have been a tad harsh.

It's not empty.

Just completely filled with thoughts of Quidditch and ideas for pranks.

Which is why there is no room for book-smarts. It isn’t his fault.

"Now," he said awkwardly as he tried to pull it off as a yawn.

I turned slowly and glanced at the lake as I pulled my wand from behind my back. Slowly- so as to not draw attention- I pointed it at Malfoy from under my bent knees, and muttered the spell.

The look on Rose's face when she realized he was no longer holding her hand was the most bewildered look I have ever seen in my life.

And when she slowly looked down and saw a tiny, little, furry, blonde "oversized-gerbil"- as James like to call it- she screamed louder than I humanly thought possible.

I honestly think my hearing has gone from that. It’s been way dodgy ever since. Although it could have been the custard I suppose.

She quickly picked up the new and improved Scorpius Malfoy, threw the dirtiest look known to existence our way, then stomped up to the castle.

To say the least, McGonagall was quite irritated with us after that little stunt. Although I swear I saw the tiniest of smile on her face. Probably reminiscing about Draco Malfoy, "The Amazing Bouncing Ferret."

At least I didn't make him bounce. His brain probably would've toppled out of that ridiculously big head of his.

Rose had told McGonagall it was James, supposedly she was sure of it, but my buddy Minnie knew otherwise. Seeing as I'm tutoring James in Transfiguration, because he can't even turn a chair into a rabbit, it seems unlikely he could do Human Transfiguration.

That will quite probably go down in history as one of my most memorable detentions ever.

Chapter 4: Reason 4, Detentions 4-10
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gorgeous c.i. by niika@tda

A week since the Pineapples Of Mass Destruction incident, and Albus still refused to talk to me.

I mean it may have had to do with the fact that I turned his best mate into a rodent.

Just maybe though.

Either way, he needs to get over himself because sitting by myself in classes was not at all amusing. It actually had me contemplating shanking myself with a book. Or at least testing if it was possible. I reckoned I could, some of the corners were pretty damn sharp.

I sluggishly dragged my things across the table and shoved them in my bag.

"Nik? Nikki!"

I looked up to see James the Giant waving at me from the door. Seriously, that boy is like 6'4" to my 5'4". Stupid tall people.

"Nik! Hurry, come on!" he yelled.

I rolled my eyes and slung my bag over my shoulder.

"What's the brilliant idea this time?" I asked sarcastically.

"Brilliant is an understatement." he replied with a disturbingly self-satisfied smile. “So I was talking to Colin-"

"Colin FINNIGAN?" I interrupted.

"Well yeah," he said in confusion, "Isn't he the only Colin in this school?"

"Not a chance, but continue," I sighed.

James talking to Colin was never good. Things tended to blow up in their faces when they made plans. And I mean that quite literally.

Colin seems to have taken after his father Seamus, well according to Harry and Ron anyway. That's Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley to those who aren't on the inside. Yes I have powerful friends. FEAR ME. Umm...yeah.

"Alright, I really can't talk about it in the wide open, so come on," he said hurriedly as he opened a door and shoved me into what I had thought was a dark room.

Yeah, it wasn't a dark room.

It was a dark broom closet.

And just when I thought the situation couldn't get any more awkward, it most definitely did.

He rushed into the closet behind me, knocking me into Merlin knows what, which in turn ended up with me on the floor.

"Nik! Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. Idiot. He better be worried.

"Oh yeah, I'm just fine. Cause, you know, I get shoved in pitch-back miniature broom closets and trip over unknown objects all the time."

Which I so don't. I happen to have amazing balance, thank you very much.

"Don't move, I'll find you."

"Potter, I don't think I can move. Could you have picked a smaller closet?"

"Oh well sorry,” he snapped, dragging the word out, “It was the first one I saw."



"That's not my hand."

"Bloody hell, sorry," he apologized as he finally found my hand and pulled me up.

"You know, if you wanted to fondle me so much, Potter," I said as I brushed off my skirt, "You could've just asked."


"No, not really!" I scolded as I slapped him on what I thought was his arm.

"Ouch. Back to business then," he said as he tried to shuffle around me.

If you didn't already know, shuffling in a really, really tiny closet doesn't work quite as well as it should when there's two people in it.

"Ow, ow, bloody OW!" I screamed as I hopped in place as clutched my boob.

"Did I hurt your arm?"

"No, Potter! You just elbowed me in the tit! That's twice now you've attempted to feel me up in under five minutes!"

"I'm not trying to feel you up! I'm trying to move out of your way!"

"Great job with that one," I growled as I held my arms around myself to protect my poor bosom from any more abuse.

"Can we discuss my plan now?"

"Depends. Are you going to try and physically assault me again?"

He sniffed, ‘You’re impossible. So, I was talking to Colin, yeah, and somehow the conversation was brought to the fact that McGonagall’s Animagus form is a cat-‘

"I don't like where this is going, James." I interuppted

"Just shush for a second! So Colin said to me, ‘Wouldn't it be hilarious if she kept a male cat in her office with her? I mean, cats go into heat quite often, right?' And I thought, wow, that's quite an ingenious idea. And then I came to you."

"As ingenious as you think it is, do you even realize how disturbing of a mental picture you just put in my head?"


"You are too thick for your own good, James," I sighed.

I've had that mental picture flash in my head at least once a day since then. 

It really is grotesque.

"So what do you think?"

"I just told you. It's disturbing."

"Come on, I need help. You know Colin won't get everything right."

"Colin won’t get anything right!” I exclaimed, before realising, “Wait…Colin's in on this too?"

"Well…yeah, he sparked the beautiful prank after all."

"James, this is not a good idea. In fact, it’s just plain bad."

"Come on! How many detentions have I served with you just because you didn't want to be bored!"

"I didn't force you."

"LIES! I can think of numerous times you threatened my manhood!"

Damn it. 

"Fine, I'll do it," I huffed.

"Thank you Nikki!" he squealed.

Yes. James Potter squealed. Like a schoolgirl. A normal schoolgirl anyway, not a Nikki Scott. He does it quite regularly, believe it or not. Quite amusing actually.

I think he was attempting to hug me. Now, as previously stated, James is a tall boy, so to hug me he obviously has to lean down, since I'm a little munchkin next to him.

Hugging did not happen. At all.

As he leaned down and started to wrap his arms around my shoulders, I tripped over some godforsaken thing and crashed into him. This in turn caused him to trip over something, which lead to me leaning on him, while he leaned on the wall, and- here's the worst part- my lips accidentally collided with his for like, two seconds.

Don't look at me like that, I swear it was a bloody accident. Really.

"Um, Nik?"

"What?" I replied roughly as I shoved myself off the wall.

"Why did you just kiss me?"

"I didn't do it on purpose, you arse! Don't ever shove me in a broom closet again!" I screamed as I stormed out and slammed the door behind me.

Yeah, sulking and I, we don't fit well together. I was so peeved at him for insinuating I had kissed him on purpose that I was doing laps on the Quidditch pitching

Not on my broom either. Like, actually running laps.

And it is not my fault that I didn't know that the Slytherin brat who still refused to talk to me had scheduled practice for his team.

"What the hell, Nikole?!" He yelled, "What are you doing?!"

 Stupid Potters. I'm changing my name, I swear.

"What in Merlin's name does it bloody look like I'm doing, you tosser?!" I yelled back.

"I booked practice!"

"Then bloody practice!" I screamed, stopping mid jog.

"Get out!"

"In case you didn't notice, Potter," I growled as I threw my arms in the air, "This is Quidditch, not Football! You're going to be in the bloody air! What does it matter if I'm running down here? On the ground!"

"I don't need you spying on our maneuvers and telling my stupid brother!" He sneered as he threw his broom to the ground and walked grumpily over to me.

"The last thing I want to do is spy on Slytherins who don't talk to me because of a stupid little prank."

"TWO pranks, if I remember correctly. You managed- Merlin only knows how- to turn my best mate into a gerbil!"

"First off, it was a damn lemming, alright? Not a freaking gerbil. And secondly, he bloody deserved it! You weren't sitting at our table when he was. Because, you know, you won't talk to us! Because of pineapples! Grow the hell up!"

"He didn't look like a fruit to me! He looked like an oversize rodent!"

"Oh. My. God. Why is it you Potters can't hear? LEMM-ING. LEMMING. NOT BLOODY LEMON."

"Oh. Yeah well, you still had no excuse!"

"Whatever. I give up on you Al. You’ll work it out sooner or later. Have fun with practice," I heaved as I walked away, "Oh, and just so you know, it's going to rain in about ten minutes!"

Yes, I happened to be very attuned to weather changes. It's another talent.

And guess what? Nine minutes and thirteen seconds later, it started pouring. Yes I counted. I wanted to savour what small victories I could.

"Where on earth have you been?" James snapped as he ran up to me and shook me violently by my shoulders.

"I don't remember, seeing as you’ve just rattled my brain around so much I now have a concussion," I replied as I steadied myself on the back of the couch, "I'm not a bloody maraca."

"Wouldn't that be awesome if you were!" He burst out excitably

Sometimes I could swear to God he wasn’t a day older than five.

"Wh... are... I... you," I sputtered as my brow furrowed, "Never mind. I forgot you have moronic tendencies. Yes, James, it would be superbly awesome if I was a maraca," I drawled with a roll of my eyes.

"Then I could be like..."

And James Potter proceeded to dance around like a drunken hobo shaking his "invisible" maracas in the air. 

I couldn't help but laugh at him.

He may be a moronic dork, but he's my moronic dork.

Not like I'm being possessive or anything. I'm just saying! No one else really gets his sense of humor.

Yeah, that's what’s what it is.

"James, how is it you can manage to piss me off incredibly, and then completely cheer me up not even an hour later?" I chuckled as I plopped on the couch.

"Because, I'm James bloody Potter. Now move your fat arse over," he said triumphantly as he sat next to me and threw his arm over the back of the couch.

"Oh yeah, alright. If my arse is fat then you're not a virg-"

 "Shhh! Shut up! You weren't supposed to talk about that!" he whispered, wide-eyed as he put his hand over my mouth. 

Yes. Swoon-worthy, Big Man on Campus, James Potter- the one with all the girls following him everywhere- is indeed a virgin.

"Hey at least you held out longer than Alb-"

"SHUSH! MY GOD! What if Lily hears you? She's fourteen! She'll run right to Mum and Dad and tell them! Do you want to get him murdered? Do you?"

'Hmm…That doesn't sound half-bad right about now,' I thought to myself.

"No, Nikki."


"You've got the 'That Sounds Like a Great Idea' look. Don't do it. He may be acting like a git, but that's because, well, he is one."

"Fine, I won't say anything… Again," I huffed.

"That's my girl." he grinned as he awkwardly squeezed my shoulders with his one arm, "Oh, and after dinner."

"What?" I asked with a puzzled look.

"After. Dinner."

"OH! Right. Damn. I forgot you recruited my services."

"So, um, about the little closet incid-"

"No James," I stopped him as I held a hand in his face, "I do not want to talk about it. In fact, I'm going to pretend like you never even shoved me in there. So drop it."

"Fine.” he shrugged somewhat glumly.

I was waiting for James and Colin outside of the Transfiguration classroom. Behind some dusty old curtain to be exact.

Yes, I know Minnie is Headmaster, but James happened to get the scoop that she had a couple of Slytherins in detention tonight, which meant that she would be in her classroom.

"Nik!" I heard James whisper loudly, "Where are you?"

"Behind this God-awful tapestry," I whispered back as I snuck out from behind it.

"Nice hiding place," he commented.

"Heya Nikki. Great idea, eh?" Came a voice filled with boyish enthusiasm.

"No, Colin. No it is not. You and your empty Irish brain just thinks it is. Oh and James does too for some reason which remains hitherto unbeknownst to me.” 

He looked confused. Ha! My killer vocabulary beats empty Irish brain!

People get put in Gryffindor because they're brave, courageous, blah blah blah. We were brave alright. We were about to partially open Hell, and James and Colin didn't appear to have the smallest qualms about it.

 I very slowly looked down to see a cat carrier in each of their hands.

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. I thought you said one cat. Not four," I grimaced.

"Five, actually. And it was originally going to be one, but Colin here is a smart one," James chuckled quietly as Colin grinned proudly.

"No, Colin is a bloody idiot- no offense, Colin."

His proud grin disappeared at my not-so-subtle swipe at his intelligence level.

"Just get the door, on 1....2.... NOW!" 

Many things happened at once. I yanked the door open. The cats flew into the classroom. Minnie jumped out of her seat and rushed to the door faster than we could realize.


We all turned as slow as possible to see a bright red McGonagall.

"Mr. Finnigan, Mr. Potter, Miss Scott. I should have known. A week's detention for all of you, starting at Eight P.M. every night."

"Bugger," Colin muttered.

I should have stayed behind the tapestry.

Chapter 5: Reason 5, Detention 11
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gorgeous c.i. by my niika@tda

It was the First of October. My week of detentions was quite boring indeed. Well minus the one night that Colin decided he wanted to make a tower out of exploding snap cards instead of writing lines.

That was amazing. Especially when Minnie Mouse realized what he was doing and threw a fit.

He got another week's worth of detention. And then all the cards blew up in his face.

But back to where I was. So, it was October 1st, and Albus still wasn't talking to me. It was getting a bit ridiculous at this point, so I decided that we needed to have a little chat during breakfast.

"Albus Severus Potter!" I screamed across the Great Hall as I stood on the Gryffindor table, "We need to talk!"

"Nik, you're in a skirt! Get down!" James scolded as he grabbed my hand and tried to pull me off the table.

"Shut up James, it's my body, not yours. Now let me get your brother's attention in peace."

"Nikole, You just got the attention of the whole school. Get down."

"Don't call me that Potter, or it's the powder. Now shut it."

"Shutting." he said with a look of fear as he went back to his breakfast and tried to pretend I wasn't there.

James is smarter than I give him credit for. He must be, because he was the only boy within a ten-foot radius of me, who wasn't trying to look up my skirt. Most of them were succeeding actually.

I tore Lily's Daily Prophet out of her hands and rolled it up.

"Hey!" She yelled at me.

"If one more of you," I started as I pointed to the boys with the rolled up paper, "tries to look up my skirt one more time, I will beat you within an inch of your lives with this paper. Fred Weasley, don't you DARE test me. Death by newspaper is very possible, and you don't want to find out how!" I snapped.

"You wanted something?"

I looked behind me to see Albus shaking his head and smirking at me.

"You! We need to talk!" I scolded as I pointed my finger at him.

"I heard."

"You... have been... an arse to me... for a month!" I yelled as I tried not to stumble climbing off the table.

"Here," he laughed as he grabbed my hand to steady me.

"Stop being an arsehole to me!" I yelled, "It was all in good fun!"

"Alright, alright, I'll behave. I'm bored of being mad at you anyways. Nothing fun ever happens."

"Good, keep it that way," I scowled as I pointed my finger at him.

"Cynthia Mason is looking hot today!" I heard James jeer from behind me, making sure to add a little wolf whistle after. He’s a class act, my James.

I turned around to see the blonde tart herself wink at James as she went to join her friends at the Hufflepuff table.

"You alright, Nikki? Your eye is twitching," Fred spoke up.

'One more word out of you Freddy boy, one more word,' I thought to myself.

"Nikki? Niiiiiiiik? Hey! Earth to Nikki!" Albus said as he snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"What?!" I snapped, "Oh, sorry. Lost myself for a second. What were we talking about?"

"I think you should sit down and eat something," Al chuckled as he moved me toward the table and pushed me down to the bench, "We'll talk during Potions, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," I replied as I stabbed the eggs on my plate with my fork.

I didn't hear what was said, but the next thing I know, James was walking over to the Hufflepuff table, and I was pretending my eggs were his face. It wasn't an omelet much longer, since my incessant shanking of them with my fork made them quite scrambled-looking.

"You alright there, Scott?" Hugo Weasley spoke up.

"Fine," I sneered.

Lily said something. Don't know what, I was in Potter Hate Mode.

"You look pretty red, maybe you should go see Pomfrey..." Fred stated worriedly.

"I'm. Fine," I spat.

"Alright, sheesh, was just worrying about your mental state is all," Fred retorted as he went back to his breakfast.

"My mental state?" I yelled. Yes, I was losing it. This is what Potters do to me all the stinking time. "How about yours? Potters and Weasleys, you're all bonkers in the head! So if I have a failing mental state, the fault is yours! Every last one of you!"

I stood up to storm out and make a dramatic exit, but it didn't really work in my favor. Never does. No, instead of storming out and looking awesome like I wanted to, I tripped over the bench and fell on my arse.

"Shut up. Every one of you," I snapped, preempting the gales of laughter that were sure to come.

They didn't laugh. They've learned well. Crossing me in one of my moods is a bad idea.

It only took me six years to pound that into their heads.

I stood up, stared at them, and then glared angrily at James who was now standing next to me looking utterly confused.

"What did I miss?" He chuckled.

Nikki Scott Rule # 3,147: DO NOT under any circumstances chuckle at me when I'm pissed beyond all reason.

I punched James in the face. Now he was on the floor.

"Stupid tosser," I growled as I stepped over him and stormed out of the hall.

Now that was an awesomely dramatic exit, even if I do say so, myself.

"So what's got you so wound up" Albus asked as he said as he sat in his seat next to me.


"You're lying to me, Nikki."

"Just drop it."

"I will not. I thought we could talk about anything?"

"You're family, alright? The whole bloody lot of them."

"Who did what?" he chuckled as he leaned his chair back on its hind legs.

"I really should push you over right now," I frowned as I glanced at his stupid chair positioning.

I don't know why, but I hate it when guys lean back on chairs that are clearly, not meant to be leaned back on. It just seems... cocky.

"Why should I be pushed? I did nothing wrong!" He asked frantically as he struggled to regain his precious balance.

I pushed him.

Everyone in the line of sight laughed.

"What the bloody hell, Scott!" He screamed as he awkwardly scrambled off the ground and sat in his chair like a normal human.

"I warned you," I said smugly.

"You did not 'warn' me! You simply said 'I should push you' not 'I'm going to push you'!"

"Same difference" I shrugged.

"It is... you... THAT PHRASE IS AN OXYMORON!" He yelled.

"Your face is an oxymoron," I retorted.

I'm such a mature teenager, don't you think?

"That didn't even make sense, Nikki."

"Made more sense than YOUR MUM."

"Alright, I'll give you that one," he smiled.

I glanced at him awkwardly and burst out laughing.

"I see you two have made up again," Slughorn said as he waddled over to us with a look of sheer annoyance being sent my way.

"Yes sir," Albus smirked with a nod.

"Well, keep your hands to yourselves please," he sneered as he made his way up to the front.

"Is it just me, or did it seem like he was insinuating we were touchy-feely with each other in a way that was not strictly platonic?" Albus chuckled.

"You damn boob," I said as I slapped him upside the head, "Must everything have sexual undertones with you?"

"Pretty much," he chuckled, "And you just said boob."

"You are so immature," I said with a roll of my eyes.

So there Albus and I were, sitting in the courtyard doing our homework, when who walks out but Little Miss Tart.

"What?" Albus questioned.

"Oh, nothing," I said with an evil grin.

"Who are you hexing now?"

"No one..." I said as innocently as possible.

Innocent isn't really my thing though. I don't think it's possible for me to ever look innocent.

"LIES!!!" Albus yelled with a point of his finger.

"Just do your homework, boob."

"Why do you keep referring to me as a part of the female anatomy?" He puzzled.

"Not boob as in breast, you idiot!" I said as I slapped him upside the head again, "Boob as in a stupid moron!"

"Riiiight," he jeered as he opened his Potions book.

And while he wasn't paying attention, by some strange odd happening of fate, Little Miss tart burst out of her clothes. Oh and the majority of her hair floated to the ground.

Don't look at me. I had nothing to do with it. NOTHING!!! It was a miracle! Divine intervention! Merlin smote her from the grave!

Okay so I did it. I'm guilty. Sue me.

Lots of things happened in the brief seconds that followed.

Why does that always happen to me?

She screamed bloody murder as her clothes tore and hair fell out. Her friends screamed and ran. Minerva managed to walk out, right when I had cast said hex, AND caught me doing it. Albus and everyone else burst out laughing.

And I got dragged into the castle by my ear.

That shit hurts like hell, you know.

Chapter 7: Reason 7. Detentions 13-14
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"James? Why are you eating your breakfast in here?" I asked as I entered the common room the next morning.

"I am avoiding morning post, that's why," he said warily.


"Who caught us yesterday?"

"Your Aunt."

"And who did she tell?"

"Your Mum?"

"Right. And what is Mum infamous for?"

"Oh. Howlers. Right."

Because the last thing the whole school needed to know about was our little "slipping" incident.

"Precisely. So if I stay in here, then I don't need to get yelled at in front of the whole school."

Karma and James Potter do not mix, because what flew in at that moment other than Ginny's owl carrying the aformentioned death threat.

"Bollocks," he winced.

I didn't want to stay there for it, but at the same time, I did. So I stayed.

Yeah, I shouldn't have stayed.


"Sure," Mr. Potter said in an unsure voice, "I mean, Yes. James Potter you are in deep this time!"

I could just picture the death glare Mrs. Potter had sent him to get that response. And that actually gave me chills.


I swear I heard Mr. Potter's distinct chuckle in the background.


Ouch, Mrs. Potter. Ouch.


Ouch again.


"It was a bloody accident!" James yelled at the letter that couldn't respond back.


"Not Nana..." James said; a look of unadulterated fear spread across his face as the Howler burst into flames.

Ginny had to get it from somewhere. And James' Nana was the epitome of hell breaking loose when she was angry.

One time I swear I saw her eyes turn bright red. Flames shot out and everything.

Okay, maybe not the flames, but they definitely went fire-engine red.

"I hate my family," he grumbled.

"Hey, you can't complain. You only get screamed at. I was grounded almost all summer for our antics last year."

He glared at me for a second and looked away.

"What the hell was that look for?!" I yelled as I smacked him upside the head.

"I wouldn't have gotten yelled at if it weren't for you."

"Excuse me?!"

"You were the one who declared boredom," he huffed as he crossed his arms.

"You thought up the bloody idea!" I yelled.

"Yeah well... you kissed me first."

"I DID NOT! IT WAS A BLOODY ACCIDENT YOU JER... WAIT! You kissed me on PURPOSE?!" I screamed as I beat him mercilessly with the couch pillow.



"I AM NOT! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! THERE WAS A PUDDLE, I SLIPPED, END OF STORY!" he yelled as he dodged my beatings.


"Why are you killing my cousin now?" Rose giggled as she walked in the common room, "And who got a Howler?"

"JAMES. DID." I growled as I smacked him in the face with the pillow again.

"Why did Aunt Gin send you a Howler this time?" she laughed as she sat in the armchair.

"Because your Mum caught him accidentally-on-purpose sn-"

"BECAUSE OF MY DETENTIONS!" James talked over me as he covered my mouth.

I hate, hate, HATE it when he does that.

"Ew, Nikki did you just lick me?!" he whined as he tore his hand away.

"I couldn't get bite-age! So yes!"

"You were going to bite me?!"

"YES! You know I hate it when you cover my mouth like that!"

"So you bloody lick me?!"


"You two are incredible," Rose mumbled, "Like an immature married couple."

"EXCUSE ME?!" James and I yelled in unison.

"You are. Always bickering one second, and then perfectly fine the next. Why don't you just go find a priest and get it over with now?" She laughed, "You guys are just like my Mum and Dad. Minus the whole licking/biting thing."

I have never, ever, seen James physically accost Rose.

Until now.

He tore the pillow out of my hand, walked over to Rose- who of course never expected him to go through with it- and whacked her over the head with it more times than I had to him.

"James, what the hell!" she screamed.

"You keep your little nosy Weasley mouth shut!" He yelled as he hit her.

"James you arse!" She fumed as she kicked him right between his legs.

Even I haven't done that to him. Ever. I'm not that mean. And I have never seen Rose do that to anyone. Lily, yes, Dominique, yes, Rose? No.

But I sill couldn't help but laugh a little as she stormed up to our room and James rolled on the floor groaning in sheer pain.

Don't look at me like that, I'm not that terrible of a person. I did go see if he was alright.

"James, you okay, mate?" I asked as I placed a hand on his ever-squirming shoulder.

"I think I'm dying," he squeaked.

"You are not dying. She only kicked you."

"Yeah," he squeaked again, "In the Quaffles!"

Leave it to James to refer to them as Quaffles.

"James, you'll be fine," I chuckled as I sat next to him.

"I will not," he groaned as he rolled to his side holding himself.

Why do guys do that? Is it to protect them from further damage? Or is it like, a comforting thing? I don't think we girls will ever know.

"Come on, James, we're gonna be late for the practice you assigned," I said as I patted his back.

"I don't care. Leave me here to waste away!"

"James, stop being such a bloody Drama Queen. I swear you're worse than your Uncle Ron," I scolded as I grabbed his arm and attempted to pull him up, "James, I can't pick you up dead-weight. Give me some freaking help here."

"No," he whined as he tugged his arm away, causing me to land on top of him.


"OOOF, GERROFF ME! You're not exactly a feather, you know!" he moaned as he shoved me to the floor.

"Ow, you git!" I yelled as I rubbed my elbow where I had smashed it on the floor, "Stop knocking me over!"

"You love being that close to me, admit it," he chuckled weakly.

"You! I... SHUT UP!" I stammered as I kicked him in the shin.

"You didn't deny it," he smirked.

Damn James Potter. Damn him and his bloody smirk. I'd like to beat them both. And then beat his Grandpa James who passed the stupid thing on to him.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" I yelled as I kicked him once more, grabbed my gloves and broom and headed to the field, leaving him laughing like a giddy five year old on the floor.

"Great practice everyone! We'll definitely beat Slytherin next weekend!" James yelled as he shook out his sweaty hair with his hand.

"So, Potter, you really that confident?" I asked as I grabbed my sweatshirt.

"Hell yeah. Albus will be mortified," he laughed.

"Sure, sure," I smiled.

"So, Nikki..."

"Yes, James?" I asked as we walked back toward the castle.

"You never denied it."

"Denied what?" I asked nonchalantly.

"That you loved to be that close to me," he chuckled.

"Oh, Christ, will you just shut up about it?!"


Thank my lucky stars that there were a bunch of Slytherin firsties looking for a place to sit with their demonic picnic.

Yes, I said demonic.

Slytherins aren't always bad. Sometimes they're useful. Like for dodging unwanted conversations.

"Hey!" I yelled to them.

"What do you want Gryffindork?!" They yelled back.

"See that tree over there?" I pointed to the Whomping Willow.

"The Death Tree?" A blonde girl piped up snobbishly.

Why the hell are there snotty blondes overrunning this school?

"It's not a death tree. It's actually great shade for a picnic on a sunny day like today," I retorted.

"I don't believe you," she huffed as she put her hands on her hips.

"She's telling the truth you know," James said happily, "We used to sit there all the time. It's actually not dangerous. Minnie is just protective of it since it's been around for her five-hundred years here."

"Really?" She asked with a smile.

Of course they believe James Bloody Potter. With his gorgeous smile, and smooth voice, and superbly toned Quidditch body....

Someone Avada Kedavra me.

"Really, really," he said, flashing a brilliantly amazing smile her way.

"Well, thank you," she smiled back as she and her group walked away.

It was just then I noticed there was only one other girl in their group of seven.

Simply amazing, they start younger and younger these days, boy-crazy girls.

"You want to stay and watch?" he said with a quiet laugh.

"Are you nutters? They might end up dead. I don't want to be here when the ones who barely get away incriminate us. Arrest will follow, and then trials, and then we'll be convicted of murder in the first degree. I don't know about you, but I don't want my soul sucked out, thank you very much. I'm quite attached to it."

"Good point, Nik, good point," he chuckled as we walked into the castle.

And heard high pitched screams.

We booked to the common room as fast as we possibly could.

"Why are you so out of breath?" Rose asked as I quickly shut the door to our room behind me.

"No reason," I smiled.

"You are a terrible liar, Nikki. What did you do now?"

"Nothing, nada, zilch. I'm going to take a shower now," I said as innocently as possible.

"Did you snog my cousin?"

"WHAT?!" I yelled.

"Did you- Nikki, snog my cousin- James?"

"No, what makes you say that," I replied frantically as I fake-shuffled through my clothes.

"Just, a sneaking suspicion, we'll call it," she laughed knowingly.

"I did no such thing!" I yelled defensively, "Now if you don't mind, I'll be going to get clean."

I wasn't lying. I didn't snog him. He snogged me. There's a huge difference there.

Damn her for bringing it up. There I was, soaping up my hair in the damn shower, thinking of James sodding Potter kissing me.

Aren't showers supposed to be relaxing? 'Cause that shower was making me more tense than I had been before I went in, which was pretty damn tense.

I finished up, threw on clothes, and laid on my bed, cursing the Potter/Weasley name. One family should not bring someone this much strife. Especially if they aren't related to said person.

Just as I was about to let out a huge sigh...


"Dammit," I grumbled.

Chapter 8: Reason 8, Detention 15
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"So how was detention?" Albus laughed as he sat on the cushion next to mine.

"Bloody boring. Minnie's making them more and more tedious. Did you know that last night was the twelfth detention I've had with her in a month and a half?"

"You counted?" he chuckled as he pulled out his Divination book.

"No. Minnie did. Thought it would be good to let me know how many I had. That and if I kept it up, she was going to call my parents in. I believe her words were, 'Miss Scott, I must aware you that if you get three more detentions under me, your parents will be called in and behavioral studies will be taken, blah blah blah, look at me, I'm a bloody kitty cat'," I said in mock McGonagall voice.

"Well then, behave," he winked.

"Oh shut up! You're just as guilty as I am!"

"If I remember correctly, I have only received two detentions so far."

"Two?" I puzzled, "I only remember one."

"Well," he said blushing, "Sluggy may have caught me in a broom closet."

"What?! When did this happen?! And with whom?! Why wasn't I made aware of this?!"

"It happened when I wasn't talking to you, it was with Cynthia Mason- the one you oh-so graciously hexed, and I didn't tell you because, at first, I wasn't talking to you, then I forgot, and then I knew you hated her. So I didn't say anything," he answered in one breath.

"Boob!" I yelled as I smacked him upside the head, "I need to know things like that! I am your bloody best mate, besides Malfoy," I said, grimacing as the name "Malfoy" escaped my lips.

It's great. I don't even need effort to make a face at that slimy git's name, it comes naturally now.

See? Natural proof of my complete and utter disgust with and contempt of that jerk.

"Best mate, eh?" He whispered as his face hardened.

"Chyeah, 'course," I replied with a bewildered look.

"Okay then. If we're best mates, why didn't you tell me you fancied my brother?"

I just stared at him in wide-eyed shock.

"What you thought I wouldn't find out?" He sneered.

"What are you talking about?!" I whispered harshly.

"Mum told me Auntie 'Mione caught you two snogging."

"And was Mummy there?! We were not snogging..."

"Sure you weren't."

"Albus Severus, I swear to God I'll murder you with this teacup if you don't shut up and let me talk," I threatened as I pointed to the tiny, fancy cup in front of me, "I will explain what happened, and you will listen. And not talk until I'm done. So I already told you about the Myrtle incident, we don't need to re-go through that. Well, when she tried to drown me, the water flowed into the hall, yeah? And then when James yanked on my arm to run, I slipped and fell. He fell on top of me. It was an accident. Your Aunt just showed up at the wrong time."

He didn't say a word, just quirked an eyebrow and stared at me incredulously.

"I DID NOT SNOG YOUR BROTHER!" I yelled much louder than intended.

Everyone in the room turned to stare at me, even Trelawney- who had just walked into the room looking more lost than ever.

"Ooooh bollocks," I grumbled as I slammed my head on the table.

I'll never hear the end of it. I am going to be reminded of that kiss until I die. Which may be quite soon. Because these Potter's may irritate me to death. A buildup of six years has got to end soon, right? RIGHT???

"Smart move there, Scott," he chuckled as he leaned closer to me.

"Shuddup," I muttered into the table.

"Well, at least they don't think we are together anymore."

"Oh, yes, this is so much better, Al. Because now they all think I did indeed snog James, which I most definitely did not. Instead of just hearing whispers of 'Oh, she fancies him' and 'Oh, I think they're secretly dating', et cetera, now I have to hear this," I growled as I motioned to the tables around the room.

"Oh my God, she snogged James?!" One little redhead whispered to her- go figure- blonde friend.

"I bet he's a good kisser," Blondie whispered back with a grin.

"I told you it was true," Scorpius nudged Rose.

"I never said it wasn't, I knew it wouldn't be long," she chuckled back.

Someday- I don't know when, but someday- I will kill Scorpius Malfoy. I don't know how yet either. But it will be painful. Maybe I'll beat him to death with a snitch. Or spork him. Or I could turn him into a lemming again and have him "accidentally" jump off a cliff. Oh, I quite like that idea...

"Miss Scott?" Trelawney said shakily, pulling my thoughts away from premeditated murder.

"Yes, Professor?" I sighed.

"Can we keep personal business until after class, please?" She asked politely with a sweet smile.

Dammit. She may be nutters, but why does she have to be so bloody nice, too?

"Sorry, Professor," I smiled back apologetically.

"See, not that bad," Albus muttered under his breath.


"Oh my God, poor Albus! He must be so upset!" someone from a table in the back said.

"I mean it was obvious he fancied her! That's why he was never in a serious relationship!" her friend whispered back.

"Oh, HELL NO!" Albus yelled as he slammed his hands on the table and stood up, "Excuse me Professor, I'm sorry to interrupt class, but I have to make something clear."

She nodded her approval, her oversized glasses sliding down her nose.

"Let's get something straight!" He yelled to the class as he stood on his cushion, which was pointless because it didn't make much of a height difference, "I have never, and will never fancy Nikki- no offense Nik..."

"None taken."

"... So please don't start this bollocks, please! There is nothing going on between her and I, and there is nothing going on between her and James. We are just friends, so please, if you could kindly shut the bloody hell up," He finished as he sat back on the cushion, "Sorry again, Professor."

"It's alright, my dear. Now, if we could get back to our lesson..." Trelawney trailed off.

"Can you believe the denial?!" The blonde spoke up.

"Oh, Jesus," Albus muttered as he slammed his head in his hands.

"Hey Al?"

"Yes, Nik?"

"Wanna get your mind off of it?"

"I am not snogging you."

"Wha... you... I... What are you... ugh you bloody idiot, how would that get your mind off of it?!"

"Your point. Sorry. Kind of can't get it out of my brain now, since that's all I've heard all day."

"Again, I repeat, do you want to get your mind off of it?"

"What do you propose we do?"

"Eh, I was thinking making false predictions, since this is Divination."

He looked up at me with the biggest smirk I have seen on his face since I told him I was pouring itching powder in James' boxer drawer.

He looks alot like James when he smirks like that.

Oh God.

I did not just compare someone to James. I did not just compare Al to James.

Where's a Blast-Ended Skrewt when I need one?

"Nikole, your brain my be unstable sometimes, but I love it."

"Yeah me too," I winked.

"I'm going to need you all to get into groups of four, if you don't mind," Trelawney said lightly.

"Perfect," Albus giggled maniacally.

"Oi! You two!" I yelled to the redhead and her blonde friend, "You want to join us?"

"Sure," the blonde giggled, batting her lashes at Albus, who in turn winked at her.

"Alright then," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"I'm Marissa," the blonde said as she squeezed in between Albus and I.

"Nice to meet you," Albus smiled.

"I'm Daphne," The redhead said sweetly as she sat on the other side of Al.

"Isn't there some, like, American cartoon with a redhead named Daphne?" I asked.

"Oh! You mean that one with the talking dog that we watched last summer?!" Albus said excitedly.

"YES! That one!" I yelled as I pointed at him.

"And she was always wearing purple with that lime green scarf!" Albus laughed.

"I hate green," Daphne pouted.

"My eyes are green..." Albus said faux-sadly.

Of course they didn't pick up the utter falseness of his depression.

"What I meant was... I don't like green... on me," she tried to recover.

"That cartoon was awesome," I piped up, blatantly ignoring her.

"Yeah it was," Albus laughed, "How did they all understand him though?"

"It's an American thing, I think," I chuckled with a roll of my eyes.

"Probably," Albus grinned as he poked at the leaves in his cup.

"Can someone tell me why we're reading tea leaves again?" The blonde called Marissa asked with a face of disgust.

"Because it's the easiest way for Trelawney to predict our deaths," I said in mock seriousness.

"Now I need you all to take the cup of the person to your left and read it, please," Trelawney spoke up wistfully.

"Wait, Al?"

"Yes, Nik?"

"You were poking at yours. Doesn't that change what it originally was? Isn't that cheating?" I said as I pointed accusingly at him.

"Big whoop, I'm going to fall down the stairs instead of get trampled by a Hippogriff. Either way I die," he grimaced as he passed his cup to Marissa.

"You are so funny, Albus," Marissa flirted as she giggled and touched his arm.

I brought up the death thing. How come they didn't laugh then?! Oh wait. I don't have toned muscles, and a gorgeous smile, and I'm not the Albus Potter. And I'm not a cute boy.

Stupid girls.

"Wha? What is this?!" Albus said unsurely as he looked into Daphne's cup and flipped through his book.

I swear, Albus should really be an actor. He almost had ME believing his little act, and we've been best mates for six years. I think I know him better than I know myself.

"What is it?! Oh no, I'm not going to die, am I?!" Daphne screeched in earnest.

I swear, she's probably a natural blonde. She has to be.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate blondes. I just hate stupid, flaunty, snotty, selfish blondes. Like all of the ones I've mentioned so far.

"No, you're not going to die, which is a surprise. Nik, what does this look like to you?" He asked as he practically shoved it down my throat.

The little genius had rearranged her leaves.

"Looks like... a star there, and... what is that, a horseshoe?" I squinted.

That's what I thought!" He exclaimed proudly.

"What does that mean?" Daphne said worriedly.

"Well, stars and horseshoes are symbols of luck, and stars are in groups, like a family, yeah? So, your family is going to get lucky, I suppose."

"Daddy did put numbers in for the Halloween lottery drawing!"

"That must be it! It makes total sense!" Albus exclaimed as he convincingly smacked his forehead, "Well, congrats!"

"Oh... my... GOD!" she squealed happily.

"What about mine?!" Marissa asked excitedly.

I glanced at the blob in my cup quickly, and looked at a random page in my book.

"Yeah, you're gonna die," I said blandly.


"Apparently you're going to fall into a huge body of water, get attacked by Grindylows, who will hold you under the water far longer than your lungs will allow, causing said lungs to- in turn- collapse... Oh wait! I have it upside down!"

She sighed happily.

"Oh okay, you're going to encounter Centaurs where they shouldn't be, they're going to take you captive, and use you as their virgin sacrifice... hmm that last part doesn't make any sense... virgin? Eh, whatever. You're doomed either way," I shrugged nonchalantly.

She started to cry in her hands and ran up to Professor Trelawney.

Stupid tattletale.

"Here comes another detention for me," I whispered to Albus with a roll of my eyes.

Chapter 9: Reason 9, Detentions 16-18
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I had gone three weeks without a single detention. Shocker, I know, but we had been so busy with Quidditch and school work that there really wasn't any time for our brilliant antics. But trust me, we would have our amazing comeback.

It was a Hogsmeade weekend, and thankfully I had gotten money from my parents earlier that week so I wouldn't have to be a mooch. James and I were waiting in the courtyard with everyone else for Al and whoever the Girl of the Week was.

I used to feel sorry for his little "Girlfriends of the Moment" when they were forced to tag along. That was until I realized they all pretty much had the same intelligence level. That level being complete idiot. Now I quite enjoy bugging the hell out of them.

James hadn't brought any in a long time. Actually now that I think about it, James hasn't had a girlfriend in a long time.

You see, Al, James and I go on the Hogsmeade trips together. Girlfriend or not. Always. Unless one of us is sick from the punch James spiked the night before. I'll never forgive him for that. I was sick for three days. Sure I didn't have to drink twelve cups of it, but it's still his fault for spiking it in the first place. Even though he was next to me the whole time seeing if I was alright or if I needed anything. Okay, I guess I forgive him.

"What, no girl tagging along with us this time?" James chuckled.

"Nikki's a girl," he replied sourly.

"She doesn't count."

"Hey!" I yelled as I punched him in the shoulder.


"She broke up with you, didn't she?" I asked as I took in the sour look on Al's face.

"Yes," he muttered so low I could barely hear him.

I told you I know him better than I know myself.

James just burst out laughing.

He's so mature, I know. But I love him anyways. Strictly still platonic though, I swear.


"Shuddup, you arse," Al growled as he punched James' other shoulder.

"OW! What the hell?!" James yelled as he chased Al through the sea of students.

"Sure, let's just leave Nikki here in the crowd, like she loves so much," I grumbled with a shrug as I watched them run off. Yeah, I don't love it so much. At all. Large groups of people and I don't mix well. Especially when I'm alone. I freak.

"Hey Nik," Fred Weasley said as he walked over to me with his hands in his pockets.

That boy is so awkward. Not Scamander awkward, but pretty damn close.

"Hey Fred, James and Al went that way," I said as I pointed in the somewhat-general direction they had run off to, "but Al may be in tiny bits when you do find them, so you may want to hurry."

"Actually I came to talk to you."

"Whom dost thou need me to prank, my Dear Sire?" I smirked as I rubbed my hands together menacingly.

"No one. Just came to say hi. That's a nice sweater," he said sheepishly as he kicked the toe of his shoe into the cobblestone.


"Yeah?" he replied as he looked at me expectantly.

"What are you doing?"

"I told you, I came..."

"No. No you didn't. You're trying to hit on me, aren't you?"

"Um... no?" He said somewhat fearfully.

"You know you're utterly failing, yeah?"

"I am?" He asked as his face fell a little.

"Oh yeah. You make want to talk to James. Or Al."

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear. Well, in this case, Devils.

"Hey there Freddie!" James jeered as he slung his arm over Fred's shoulder, "How's it going mate?"

"You're still in one piece I see," I laughed at Al as I rummaged through my messenger bag.

"Yeah, barely. He's a quick little twit, I'll give him that," James frowned, "So how can we help you today, Mr. Weasley?"

"I don't require The Potter And Scott Services today, thanks," He smirked as he shoved James' arm off his shoulder, "I just came to say hi to Nik."

"Speaking of that," I spoke up as I looked up from my bag, "One of you two need to give that boy some SERIOUS flirting lessons, because, well, frankly, he sucks at it."

"Well, he is Uncle George's kid," Al chuckled.

"He... you were hitting on Nik?" I heard James ask harshly as I searched frantically for my sunglasses.


"Chyeah," I laughed as he denied it.

"We need to have a serious talk later, you and I," James growled warningly to Fred as he scurried away.

"Stupid bag, stop eating my things," I muttered loudly, "Now give them back."

"Nik, you realize you're talking to a bag, right?" Al said worriedly.

"She always talks to inanimate objects, you know that Al. Give me the bag, Nikki."

"Why? So I can lose more of my stuff? I. Think. Not!" I yelled as I cuddled it protectively.

"Just give me it."

"NO! Last time you touched it half of my sweets 'mysteriously' disappeared!" I cried.

"Nikki, hand it over, I bet I can find them faster than you can," he said as he rolled his eyes at me.

"BACK, FEIND! YOU WILL NOT STEAL MY THINGS TODAY! OR EVER! GO BACK TO YOUR TOWER!" I yelled as I jumped on the low stone wall so I was about half a foot taller than him, snatched a rather long twig off the tree and brandished it at him, all while holding my bag as close to me as possible.

"Gimme the ba... OW!" He yelped as I smacked him on top of the head with my twig-sword.

"HA HA!" I laughed dramatically.

"GIVE ME THOSE!" He yelled as he tore the twig and my bag from my grasp, while Al was holding his sides in hysterics, "You could've poked my eye out!"

"Who cares? That was awesome," Al chortled.

"See? Right here," James said triumphantly as he handed me my glasses.

"YOU TOOK THEM AND SNUCK THEM BACK IN!" I yelled as I took them and tore my bag back.

"I did not."

Al continued to laugh hysterically.

"LIES!" I screamed as I pointed at him accusingly, "WHY DO YOU KEEP STEALING MY THINGS?!"



"I AM NOT LYING!" He yelled back as he smacked my butt with the twig.

"My bum!" I gasped as I clutched it, "That stung, you jerk!" I yelled as I swung my bag at him and hit him in the stomach.

"OW! What the bloody hell do you have in there, Dad's cooking?" He groaned as he rubbed the spot where I had hit him

"Dad's cooking is terrible," Al said as he laughed harder, if that was even possible.

"Your Dad's cooking is pretty wretched," I chuckled.

"Wretched? It's like he Transfigured it into a burnt rock that could shatter a Thestral's ribcage!" James gagged.

"Let's go everyone!" Professor Longbottom yelled over the noise.

"Come on! We get a discount!" Al whined as we stood outside the Hogsmeade branch of his Uncle's shop.

"Al, it's packed, are you nutters?" I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's always packed," James pointed out.

"I WANNA GO IN!" Al yelled as he stomped his foot on the ground like a spoiled five year old.

I kid you not, he actually did that.

"Wow, real mature Al," I snapped, "Fine, we can go in, but I'm not staying in there long, you know I get paranoid in large crowds."

When I told you we went to Hogsmeade together, that means we went to every store together. So if I went into some girly place- which I only did once to embarrass them- they have to go in too. It also meant I had to go into the one place in Hogsmeade that you could hardly sneeze in without bumping into someone. Hell.

"I wonder who's working today," Al said curiously as he weaved through the stampede.

"I am."

"Teddy! What are you doing here?!" James yelled happily as he grabbed my hand and plowed though about ten Second Years.

"Well, Ron was supposed to cover for Fred today, because that Robbie boy called in at the Diagon store, but then Ron claimed he was sick, and I owed Fred one, so I came in," he said with a dazzling smile that went up to his sparkling blue eyes.

Insert fangirl moment.

Teddy Lupin is one hot piece of man meat if I do say so myself, and coming from me, that's saying something, because I rarely admit these things. But alas, like all illegally dazzling men, he is unavailable. Damn Victoire. Doesn't mean I can't ogle him though. Which I so did. At least until I was caught.

"Nik, you're gawking at Teddy again," James whispered as he tugged on my hand.

"Oh, right. Sorry. Wait, why are you still holding my hand, James?" I asked as I came to my senses.

"Because I don't want the herd to mistake you for one of their own and drag you out to the streets where they will most likely go Cannibal and devour you."

"Good reason," I nodded as I looked warily at a group of Third Years.

I swear at that moment they looked at me like I was going to be dinner.

I hate crowds.

Go figure at that moment one of them decided to bump into me. I could feel my breath catching in my throat.

"So, you two have gone public, yeah?" Teddy laughed as he nodded toward my hand in James'.

"NO!" James and I yelled in unison as we tore our hands apart, "We are not together!"

"Kids," He laughed again as he shook his head, "Soon enough, soon enough."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" James scowled.

"When it happens, you'll know," he chuckled.

"STOP WITH THE METAPHORS ALREADY!" I yelled as the room started spinning.

I told you. Crowds make me paranoid. I have anxiety problems. It's not a good thing.

"I need to get out of here," I said as I steadied myself on James' shoulder.

"Is she alright?" Teddy asked worriedly.

"She'll be fine, she just doesn't like crowds, they give her panic attacks. Al, I'm going to take her outside and get her some air. Meet us out front in fifteen, okay?" James said sternly.

"Yeah, yeah," Al groaned as he waved him off.

"Let me get the door," Teddy rushed.

"Thanks so much, Teddy," I said shakily as I held on to James for dear life.

"Not a problem in the slightest. I'll come visit you guys at school some weekend, we can catch up."

"Alright, bye Ted," James said as he sat me on the outside bench and Teddy disappeared back into the hell hole.

"You alright?" James asked lightly as he sat next to me and brushed the hair out of my face.

"I'll be good in a minute, just need fresh air. And no crowds," I said with a weak smile.

"You need anything? Water?" He asked concernedly as he took my hand.

"I'm fine," I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"You let me know if you need anything at all, okay?"


"That's my girl," he said as he kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arm around me.


"Yes, Love?"

"Thank you," I smiled as I kissed him on the cheek and nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck.

"I... uh... um... you're welcome," he stammered.

I thought I heard him whisper.


"I didn't say anything, rest your head, Nik," he smiled weakly.

"Mmkay, love you," I muttered.

"Love you too, Nikole," he whispered as he ran his hand over my hair.

"Hey, I'm ready when you... two... are..." Al yelled as he stumbled out of Hell.
"Shush, Albus!" James whispered harshly, "She just had a panic attack, the last thing she needs to hear is someone yelling."

"God, sorry, oh Master Protector. You alright Nik?"

"Mmhmm," I replied.

"See? She's fine. Alright! SORRY!"

I'm assuming James gave him The Death Glare. THAT he did get from his Mum.

"'Look, I'm sorry for snapping. She needs water and something to eat. Got to get some sugar in her system. Go get us a table at Madame Rosmerta's," James told Al.

"Going," Albus said warily as he sped off.

"Come on, Nik, let's get some food in you."

"I dun wan move," I mumbled, "I'm comfy."

"So am I, but you might pass out if you don't get food. And as much as I'd love to, I can't carry you around Hogsmeade for two more hours, my arms are still killing me from practice. Let's go," he said softly as he gingerly pulled me to my feet.

"You smell good, by the way," I said as I steadied myself.

"Thanks, you do too," he laughed as he took my hand, "Now let's go eat."

"You guys, we're going to get in massive trouble, you realize this?"

"Of course we do, Nikki. But this will be a beautiful prank, and you know I can't pass that up. You don't have to join us if you don't want," James smirked.

"And sit on the sidelines?! I don't bloody well think so!" I yelled as I hopped off the boulder I had been sitting on for the past thirty minutes while they planned their oh-so epic prank.

Oh, just so you know, Al did apologize to me for being a semi-git outside of the store.

"Come on!" Al whispered harshly from the tree line, "The people there now are leaving, we can sneak in quick."

James and I rushed to where he was and followed him as he snuck behind the bushes.

We waited about five minutes when finally someone showed up.

"It's so creepy," I heard a male voice say.

"It really is, especially in the fall and winter," I heard a female say.

"I think I know that voice," I whispered to James.

"'Course you do, it's Rose and Scorarse," he chuckled as quietly as possible.

"NOT YET." Al whispered harshly.

Al was actually letting me scare the bejesus out of his best mate. He must have really been sorry. That or he just really wanted to scare the bejesus out him.

James as I watched all as he counted to three with his fingers and leapt out of the bushes together.

Yeah, that horrible scream I heard from Rose last time? The one that partially deafened me? She did it again. So did Scorpius. I have never heard such a girly scream come from a guy in my life.

"DAMMIT! I HATE YOU GUYS!" Rose cried.

We actually made her cry.

And as I looked up from the spot where the three of us were rolling on the ground laughing to tears, I swear to God Malfoy looked like he seriously shat his pants.

Chapter 10: Reason 10, Detention 19
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"My poor Dad," Fred sighed as he slumped in an arm chair.

"What happened now? Someone quit?" I asked as I looked up from the chess game James and I were playing on the floor.

"Worse. Apparently today is the anniversary of the first time he and Uncle Fred blew up a toilet."

"Why does he keep track of these things?" I asked as I my knight smashed one of James' pawns to dust.

"Well, it was their first real prank. Don't you guys remember yours?"

"I vaguely remember it having to do with replacing Malfoy's hair gel with Mayonnaise," I said as I grabbed a cookie out of the bag I had stolen from the kitchen.

"April 17th of my third year, and it wasn't Mayonnaise, it was pure lard," James corrected.

"My point exactly," Fred grinned triumphantly.

I just gawked at James.

I swear, only boys feel the dire need to remember things like that.

"Knight to A5," James chuckled, "And goodbye, Nikki's rook."

"Jerk," I yelled as I threw a cookie at him, "Well, if it's that important to your Dad, we must commemorate it."

"That and the fact that they're complete Hogwart's legends," James chuckled as he ate the cookie I had thrown at him, "What kind of trouble-makers would we be if we didn't honor their first prank?"

"I like where this is going," Fred giggled deviously.

"Alright, so, I stole dungbombs from Al the last weekend when we were in Hogsmeade," James whispered as Fred joined us on the floor.

"Dungbombs? James that is so First Year," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Let me..." he threw a pillow at me, "Finish, woman. We are going to need them to add something extra to the toilet explosion. Because just blowing up the toilet? That's boring. But if we fill it with dungbombs and then blow it up? That would be amazing."

"James, sometimes you are bloody brilliant," I smirked as I chewed another cookie.

Yes, I talk with my mouth full. Get over it.

"I know I am," he grinned.

"Don't get cocky, I said sometimes, not always," I grimaced.

"Can we save the toilet seat?" Fred spoke up.

"Of course, mate. But just one thing- why?" James puzzled.

"I want to send it to Dad," he shrugged, "Show him people remember."

"And we can sign it too. Lord knows we'll probably be famous," James said proudly.

"Um, James?" I spoke up.

"Yes, Nikole?"

"Don't call me that," I growled as I smacked him, "And what I was going to say is you two already are famous. Well, pretty much."

"Dad's fame doesn't count. I want to earn mine," James retorted with a nod, "Don't you, Fred?"

"Not really. I'm good. I don't need all that glory and bollocks. I'm perfectly happy just being Fred Weasley II," he said with a tiny smile.

I knew that boy had some of his mother in there somewhere.

"Okay, so after lunch I'll go grab Grandad's cloak and the map and well make the shit explode. Quite literally," James laughed at his own pun.

Fred and I just rolled our eyes.

"Where is he?" Fred whined.

"He's always late to his own pranks, you should know that by now, Freddy-boy," I laughed as I leaned on the wall.

"He wasn't late to scold me about flirting with you."

"What's that? He did what?" I said astonished as I stood up straight.

"You didn't know?" Fred chuckled half-crazed.

"Know what?"

"Apparently, if I try to pick you up again, he's going to steal your itching powder and pour it down my pants every day for the rest of the year."

"He'd better not touch my itching powder! Wait, What? Why?" I asked as I realized the full extent of the threat.

"You honestly don't know?" he laughed.

"Know what?!" I asked frantically.

"Never mind," he chortled, "You're bound to find out soon enough."

"Why do people keep telling me that?!" I screamed as I kicked the wall.

I don't recommend kicking stone walls. Or any wall for that matter. Because there's an extremely high probability that you will get more injured than said wall will. Like I did. I happen to know I broke at least three- if not all five- of my toes. Good thing they aren't relevant in Quidditch.

"OW DAMMIT!" I yelled as I hopped on one foot and clutched the other.

"Nikki. That was the stupidest thing I have ever seen you do," James chuckled as he rounded the corner, "And I've seen you do some pretty dumb things."

"Shuddup, you tosser," I grumbled.

"No one's coming, right James?" Fred asked worriedly.

"Fred, mate, it's a sunny Saturday in November, right after lunch nonetheless. Do you really think anyone's coming?"

"Guess not," Fred shrugged.

"Good answer," James smirked, "Now come on."

"She can't go in the there!" Fred shrieked.


"Yeah, Nik?"

"I have been in almost every one of the guys lavatories in the school, including this one. This is not my first bathroom prank, by far," I said pointedly.

"Right, I overreacted again, I know," he sighed.

"Will you two at least bring your argument in the bathroom? I want to finish this," James snapped.

I walked up to James and smacked him in the back of the head.

"OW. What the hell was that for?" He whined.

"I will argue where I please, thank you very much," I frowned as I walked into the bathroom, followed by a sighing James and a smirking Fred.

"Third stall in," James directed.

"Why the third stall?" Fred asked.

"Because, you twit, it's in the middle. The explosion will cover more territory," James huffed.

"OH. You are too good at this, James," Fred chuckled.

"There is no such thing as being too good at pranks, my dear cousin," James smirked.

"He's right you know, for once," I nodded with a grin.

"I'm always right," he grimaced as he dumped the bag of dungbombs into the toilet.

"Were you right when you said the pineapples would be worth it?"


"And what about shoving me in a broom closet, was that the right idea?"

"Hey! That was not my fault..."

"And what about your thinking letting male cats loose in Minnie's classroom was a good idea?"

"That was..."

"And what about the Myrtle thing? What did you say it was going to be? 'Immensely Epic', I believe your words were," I sneered.

"I thought it was," he said proudly.

"Even with the Howler?" I asked.

"Even with the Howler, it was completely worth it," He said as he glanced at me with an unreadable look.

"You guys did the cat thing?!" Fred laughed before I got the chance to question James' answer.

"Of course James did. And Colin the moronic Irish boob," I drawled.

"You helped!" James yelled.

"I held the damn door open, that hardly counts!" I yelled back.

"That was bloody brilliant," Fred giggled.

"What is it with you Gryffindor boys thinking it was brilliant?! Do none of you see how disturbing it was?! And how completely mental one would have to be to think of something like that?" I yelled as I threw an empty paper roll at Fred.

"See. Three to one, it was brilliant. Which means I was right once again," James smiled triumphantly.

"Guys, can you finish this out in the hall? I'm pretty sure those are going to blow soon," Fred said anxiously.

"Bloody hell, you're right, I charmed them for five minutes. Get out, hurry!" James rushed as he grabbed my hand and tugged me to the door.

"WAIT FOR ME!" Fred screamed as he scrambled to follow us.

We barely made it out of there when there was a boom and quite a few very gross-sounding splats. And quite a ferocious smell.

Seriously, I think it could have killed Hagrid.

"Oh my GOD!" I shrieked as I covered the bottom half of my face with my sleeve, "I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"Yeah, me too," James gagged as he covered his mouth.

"Let's get out of here guys, it smells rancid," Fred whined as he took off down the hall.

We didn't need convincing as we sped right past him.

"James, I swear to God you are a bloody moron," I grimaced as I scrubbed the dung covered floor.

"How were we supposed to retrieve the toilet seat if I didn't make it obvious it was us?!" He said defensively.

"This is so disgusting," Fred wretched from the other corner of the room.

I may love James to no end, but he is such an idiot sometimes. Because thanks to him, I was manually scrubbing crap off the floor. And I mean that literally.

He decided it would be ingenious to charm them so that when they blew up, it would splatter the names of whoever the culprits were on the wall.

Like I said. Idiot.

"God, it smells," James griped.

"Yes it does. It smells like fail," I growled as glared at him.

"Well at least I got the seat to send to Dad," Fred shrugged.

"I hate you two," I grumbled.

"You don't hate us," Fred stated, "Your just moody cause you're scrubbing up feces."

"Shut it, Weasley!" I yelled as I threw my dung-covered cloth at him, hitting him square in the face.

I swear the cloth fell off of his face in slow-motion. And the look of revulsion under it was enough to get James and I in hysterics. Thankfully we had already cleaned the bit of floor we were rolling on.

Chapter 11: Reason 11, Detention 20
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We had won the second match against Slytherin over the weekend, and by Tuesday James was still gloating unbelievably every time a Slytherin came near him. Well, really, anytime anyone came near him.

I mean, I was glad we won and everything, but it was my superbly glorious snitch-catching that had won the game, not James' narcissistic goal protecting.

So needless to say, I was getting rather annoyed. And if I was annoyed, you can imagine how annoyed Albus was.

So when Albus approached me before lunch and asked me to help him prank his brother, what was I gonna say? "No Al, I can't do that, James is my one true love, I could never do such a horrid thing." I don't think so. The bragging needed to stop. And he so isn't my one true love.

That and well, when it comes to Al, it's either help him prank, or be pranked. And quite honestly, the detention is usually less annoying, less humiliating, and far less emotionally and physically painful than said prank.

So I agreed to help him. Because I'm not an idiot. That and it just sounded fun.

Especially since James is- for some God only knows what reason- scared of marshmallows.

"Okay, so I want to turn his broom into a marshmallow during practice, so I'm going to need serious help from you. Maybe Scor..."


"Fine, fine, no Scor." Al huffed, "But you're gonna need to do more work then."

"That's fine. Just no Lemming Boy," I told him sternly.

"I still can't believe you did that to him," he grimaced.

"Oh, come on, it was bloody brilliant and you know it. If I had done that to one of the Scamanders you would have loved it," I huffed.

"Alright, good point," he chuckled.

"So how are we going to do this?" I ask as I laid back on the grass.

"Well, I'll take care of the actual charming, but I need you to keep his attention..."

"You're kidding, right? Keep James' attention? That boy has the worst case of A.D.D. ever."

"You could kiss him again," he snickered.

"I am not going to do that to him just so you can prank him!" I yell as I punch him.

"Ow. And why not? It's for a good cause. Besides, you were the one who said there was nothing going on between you two, so what harm will it do?" He shrugged.

"Well, for one, it might make him think there is something going on. And secondly, that is just cruel!"

"You don't want to hurt his feelings, eh?" Al grinned.

"I'm not... you don't... I just... It's just a terrible thing to do!" I stammered.

"You like my brother, don't you?" He smirked knowingly.

"I do not. I mean, I like him but I don't like him," I said as convincingly as possible.

Me being convincing is like me being innocent. Usually doesn't work. Especially with Potters and Weasleys who know me better than they should ever be allowed to.

"Suuuuure," he chuckled.

"I am not in love with your brother, you sod!" I yell as you smack him.

"Kind of like you didn't snog him?"

"I didn't!"

"Yeah, you did," he laughed.

"NO! He kissed me! Therefore I did not lie. There's a huge difference."

"Wait, James kissed you?!" Al said wide-eyed.


"Bollocks. I didn't think he'd really go through with it," he mumbled.

"What?" I said as I sat up.

"Nothing, nevermind," he said quickly as he waved me off.

"What did you just say about him going through with it?" I growled.

"Never you worry your little brain," he grinned as he shoved me back down to the grass. "Just think of a nice way to keep his attention after classes today. You do still have practice after classes, right?"

"Of course we do, Al. That's a stupid question," I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"There is no such thing as a stupid question," He smirked.

"No, you're right, just stupid people asking them."

"Brat," he mumbled as he threw a clump of grass in my face.

"Ew, do I look like a bloody cow?" I spat as I threw it back at him.

"A little, yeah. You may want to lay off the sweets," he laughed.

"Oh, hardy-har-har, you arse," I said as I shoved him.

"So as you all know, we beat Slytherin, because we are completely awesome like that..."

"Oh God not again," I muttered as James started bragging.

"... I mean did you guys see Malfoy's face? He looked like he'd lost his Quaffles! Brilliant Snitch-catching, Nik..."

"Yeah, thanks," I said with a wave.

"...And of course, Fred, awesome swings. Didn't you hit that Parkinson girl?"

"Heh-heh-heh, that was priceless," Fred snickered.

"And of course I did a superb job blocking as always," James said with a smug grin, "Only one in."

"James, get to the point, I beg you," I pleaded as I rolled my eyes.

"Right, anyways," He said as he shot me a dirty look for cutting off his glory speech, "So Ravenclaw is next. Which means we have a lot of practice, since they beat Slytherin too, not by as much as us of course..."

"JAMES!" Half of us yelled in unison.

Apparently I wasn't the only one annoyed with him.

"So we're really going to have to train twice as hard, no more skimming the top of the pool, we have to go in the deep end this time."


"Yes Nikki?"

"I swear to God, if you start with the metaphors, I will be forced to shove the Snitch down your throat," I said warningly.

"Right.. um... yeah, let's practice," he said as he watched me with wary eyes.

Because he knows I would so do it if he didn't shut his mouth soon.

We all kicked off the ground, and I instinctively flew farther than the rest of the team. I watched as they split into halves, and Dominique Weasley came to join me.

Just so you know, she's our stand-in Seeker, in case for some strange reason I can't make it.

Like when one of the Slytherins poured some potion in my drink the night before our match last year. I was sick for a week.

They got disqualified.

It was beautiful. So worth getting sick.

"Hey, Dom. How's it?" I said briefly as I watched the sky around me.

"Pretty good, you?"

"Pretty damn dandy."

"You and my cousin dating yet?"

"What is it with you Potters and Weasleys? I'm not dating James," I huffed.

"Well, you need to get on that," she laughed as she flew off.

"Dammit," I growled as I followed her, since I assumed she was on the Snitch, "Keep dreaming, Dominique!"

"About what?" She laughed, "You dating James? Or me catching the snitch? Because both'll happen soon enough!"

"Over my dead body you'll get that snitch before me!" I yelled as I spotted the stupid glistening ball under her and sped after it.

"GET IT NIK! YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!" James screamed as he blocked a Quaffle.

"Yeah I see that Potter!" I yelled as I kept on it's trail, "Thanks though!"

"I don't think so!" Dom yelled from behind me.

No way was I letting her catch the shiny after insinuating I was going to be dating James. Bitch was going down.

I leaned forward on my broom as much as possible and reached for it, finally grasping in it my hand.

"What was that Dom?" I chuckled as I brought my broom to a halt and tossed the Snitch up and caught it again.

"Alright, so you beat me to the Snitch, but you're still going to end up with James," she chortled as she sped off.

"Alright Nikki!" James cheered as he flew over to me and hug me awkwardly.

I don't recommend hugging someone when you're on a broom at a godforsaken height in the air.

"James, you're going to kill me!" I screamed as I wobbled.

"Nikki, you know I would never let you fall," he said softly as he ran a hand down my cheek and flew off.

"Whaaat the heeeellllll," I grumbled as I yanked on my ponytail.

And then I spotted Al nodding at me near the entrance near the feild.

Yes, I have amazing eyesight. How else could I be such a superb Seeker?

"James?!" I yelled as I flew after him.

"Yes, Nik?" He said expectantly.

"I don't know if I can beat Chang though, I mean Dom is pretty easy to fool," I lied.

I could so beat Professor Chang's son. And James knew that. Which he very well should.

"You've always beaten Taka, Nikki. Every year," He said warily.

"Yeah but have you seen him lately?!" I tried to say worriedly, "He's gotten taller, and he's been practicing all summer! I was grounded all summer!"

"Nikole," he whispered as he braced my face with his hands, "You will beat Taka. Because if you don't I will be a very annoyed James. And we don't want that do... WHAT THE HELL?!"

I looked down to see James sitting on Al's giant marshmallow.

"What the hell, what the hell?! Get it away!" James screamed frantically like a scared five year old girl as he tried to push it away.

Al had put a sticking charm on it. He is such a brilliant boy, that Albus Potter.


Everyone was laughing and pointing at him, not a single one of us attempted to help him in the slightest.

I mean come on, it was just a marshmallow. It wasn't like it was going to eat him.

I looked down to see Al rolling on the ground in hysterics.

Did I mention I love Albus Potter sometimes?

"OH MY GOD, GET IT OFF!" James wailed as it uncontrollably flew around in circles, "GET IT AWAY FROM ME! IT'S GOING TO EAT ME! MAKE IT GO AWAY, SOMEONE!"

Everyone just kept laughing as I nodded to Al to cut it out.

"OH, THANK YOU MERLIN!" James cried as he laid on his broom handle and hugged it.

And spotted Al.

"ALBUS SEVERUS POTTER, I WILL KILL YOU, YOU STUPID SLYTHERIN GIT!" James roared as he sped to the ground.

He didn't kill Al, but he did get him a week and a half worth of detention. I only got one detention.

Insert mischeivous snicker here, thank you.

Chapter 12: Reason 12, Detentions 21-22
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"Oh come on, James! I said I was sorry! You know I can't turn down a prank!"

"Nikki, you know I hate them!" James screamed.

A week later and James was still constantly harping on me about the marshmallow thing.

"I'M SORRY. I wish there was a less cliché word I could use, but I just ate way too much dessert, so I can't think straight."

"Don't use food as an excuse!" He scolded.

"HEY! You know what too much sugar does to me! You know it makes my brain highly unfunctional!"

"Yes, Nikki, it's called a sugar-high, and it's your own fault," he said pointedly.

"You should have stopped me!"

"I tried! You threatened to bite my fingers off!"

"I did? I don't remember that."

"You did. You always do. And you always seem to black out. I think you should get that checked out. Sounds like a personal problem. Go see a shrink," he laughed.

"Do you forgive me?" I said with my totally adorable puppy dog eyes.

I am the master of the puppy-dog eyes. James' don't have shit on mine.

"Niiiiiik, don't make the face," he whined as he sat on the couch.

"Pwease fowgive me, Jamesy? Puhweeease?" I begged.

"Alright! Just stop with the eyes! You're going to kill me with cuteness!"

"Thank you!" I smiled as I plopped on his lap.


"But? You know I don't like that word, James," I grimaced.

"You have to help me frame Al."

"Frame him? The week and half of detentions wasn't good eno... nevermind, forgot who I was talking to."

"So you'll help then?" He asked as he poked me.

"If you stop poking me, yes," I laughed as I swatted his hands away.

"But I like poking you, you spaz," he chuckled as he poked me again.

"That's because it tickles!" I laughed, "Now stop!"


"Stop Ja-"

I was cut off as I fell off of him and onto the floor.

"OW, dammit."

"You okay, Nik?" he asked as he held his hand out to pull me back onto his lap.

"Oh fine, just whacked my head on the ground and I probably have a concussion, thanks to your incessant poking of my stomach. S'your fault you know."

"I'm sorry," he laughed as he kissed the back of my head where I whacked it, "It's just so damn funny. But I'll behave, I swear."

"That's better," I huffed as I laid my head on his shoulder, "So what are we going to do?"

"I haven't quite figured that out yet," he laughed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"James, mate! I gotta show you something in the room for a minute, it's bloody awesome!" Colin yelled from the stairs.

"Alright, move your arse Nik, I'll be right back," James smiled as he moved me over.

"HEY COLIN!" I yelled.

"Yeah?" Came the reply from the stairwell.

"If you blow him up, or anything of the sort, know that I will kill you. And I promise that it will be slow and painful. And if you run, I will hunt you down, you stupid Irish bastard."

"I don't blow everything up!" He yelled back.

"Uh, yeah, you really do," I sneered.

"You two need to calm down," James laughed as he jogged up the stairs.

"Sodding bloody leprechaun," I grumbled as I crossed my arms.

"Hey, Nikki," Rose smiled as she walked over to me.

"Hiya Rose. Where's Lemming Boy today?" I snickered.

"Don't get mad, Rose, keep it in," she muttered to herself as she tried to keep her face from turning bright red, "He's doing homework. Can I talk to you in the hall for a second? I need some help, but I don't want everyone to overhear."

"Sho'," I told her as I heaved myself off the couch and followed her out of the common room.

"Get her!" Rose yelled.

The next thing I know someone had my arms, there was a blindfold over my eyes, and I was being dragged up stairs.

"Ro, this is not cool," I yelled as I struggled to get away.

"Don't let her go, I don't care if she kicks you, bites you, whatever, DON'T LET GO," she snapped at my captors.

"If this is for the Pineapple thing... and the Lemming thing... and the Shrieking Shack thing, I'm sorry, alright! LET ME GO!" I screamed as I was dragged down a hall, all while kicking whoever I could.

"OW, Dammit Nik!"

"Don't talk to her!" Rose commanded as I heard a door open, "Sit her there, and tie her down. I don't want her running away."

Someone roughly shoved me into a chair, tied my wrists to the back of it, and took my blindfold off.

"What's with the kidnapping?! I'll so tell Neville!" I yelled furiously.

"This is not kidnapping. This is an intervention, so to speak," she said smugly.

"About what?! If it's the detention thing, that's tough, I'm not stopping the pranks!" I spat.

"Come on guys, I need your help," She said sweetly.

Of course, of course, it was the entire Potter/Weasley clan. Minus James. And their parents. Even Teddy was there, the stupid wanker.

I would have normally drooled at the sight of him, regardless of the fact that Victoire was there, but I was far too pissed off.

"What gives?" I growled.

"We need to have a chat, Nikki," Al smirked.

"Albus, I will kill you for this, you know that, yeah?"

"This is for your own good, Nikole," Rose growled.

"Remember what I said about me being sorry? I TAKE IT BACK," I spat at her.

"Nikki, we love you, and you're an exceptionally intelligent girl, but you aren't very bright," Teddy laughed.

If he wasn't so damn hot, I would have hexed him on the spot. Damn attractive men and their mystical powers.

"Oh, remember, we owe Colin big time," Fred stated to Albus.

"YOU ARSE!" I screamed as I tried to hop the chair over to Fred so I could kick him.

"Nikki, you're going to fall, cut it out," Hugo said as he held the chair down.

"Come near me, Weasley, and I will bite you," I growled.

"She will, Hugo, you may want to move," Al laughed, "Now, down to business. We need to talk about your thick-headedness about my brother."

"What are you talking about?!" I yelled.

"That is exactly what we're talking about," Dominique spoke up, "Are you REALLY that clueless Nikki?"

"How can I be clueless about something when I don't know what it is you're talking about?!" I said.

I know. It didn't make sense. I was angry. Things like that happen when I'm angry. I say illogical and retarded things.

It's a curse.

"Nikki, Nikki, Nikki," Teddy sighed as he draped his arm around Victoire, "You really don't get it?"

"Might as well be blunt, Teddy, dear," Victoire piped up.

"Alright, you really don't see that James is head over heels in love with you?" Teddy said sternly.

"LIES!" I screamed.

"Yeah, he is," most of them said in unison.

"I'm sorry, I think if my best mate was in love with me, I'd know," I growled.

"Unless you just refused to see it. Unless you were harboring the same feelings," Lily said quietly.


"DENIAL!" The lot of them yelled in my ears.


"Nikki, just hear me out for a second, please," Al said as he kneeled in front of me, making sure to stay out of kicking range, "As your other best mate, it is my job to inform you that my brother IS indeed in love with you. Like you wouldn't believe. Everytime we're home, he won't shut up. And I can't take it anymore. Between your cluelessness and his constant pining, I'm losing my mind. HE LOVES YOU NIKKI," He emphasized as he braced my face in his hands, "JAMES LOVES YOU MORE THAN HE LOVES HIMSELF."

"And that's saying something," Fred chuckled.

"Yeah it is," Hugo laughed.

"Let her go, guys," Victoire said softly, "Come on Teddy, dear, we're going to be late for dinner"

Merlin bless that girl's soul, even if she did steal Teddy from the Sexy Bachelor Pool.

Of course it didn't really matter that they let me go, because the shock I was in kept me glued to the chair.

"You guys are pulling my leg. There's no way James is in love with me," I said quietly.

"Well, he is. We're going to go, now that we got it through your head," Lily smiled sweetly, "We love you Nikki. And we know you love James too. Mull it over."

And with that they were gone.

I still can't believe they kidnapped me.

"James, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" I huffed as I stormed into the common room.

I don't know about you, but being kidnapped makes me pretty annoyed.

"Sure, my room's empty," He said with a befuddled look on his face as we ran up the stairs.

"What's got you so pissed?" He asked as he shut the door.

"Did you know your family just kidnapped me?" I said harshly as I slammed myself onto his bed.

"WHAT?! Why the hell did they kidnap you?" He asked in shock as he sat next to me.

"That is the interesting and completely ridiculous part. They said that you- James Potter- were in love with me- Nikki Scott."

"What?" He chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck, "That's just... wow... um... yeah, that's... um... crazy! Yeah! That's exactly what it is!"

"That's what I said!" I huffed as I threw my arms down on the mattress, "Needless to say, we need to get epic revenge on Al, because I know he put the damn thing together. For Merlin's sake, even Teddy and Victoire were there!"

"Teddy?! Why the hell... dammit," he grumbled to himself.

"I know right?! I can't believe they just kidnapped me! That is so freaking unorthodox!" I yelled as I slammed his pillow against the wall.

I glanced over at James to see him biting his lip and shiftily looking at the ground.

"Tell me you thought of a prank?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh... right, prank."

"What the bloody hell?!" I exclaimed as I sat up quickly, "How could you forget already?! You never forget about pranks!"

"Mind was wandering," he chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck again, "Sorry."

"What's wrong, James?"

"Nothing," He shrugged.

"I'm not convinced, tosser. What's wrong?" I asked again as I hit him playfully with the pillow.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled weakly, "Nothing important."

"If something is wrong with my James, then it's important," I said pointedly as I rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Just... it's... it's nothing, Nik. Don't worry about it," he smiled as he kissed my forehead.

"James, tell me the truth," I begged, "Please."

"About what," he chuckled.

"You know exactly what, James."

"Ugh..." He sighed as he rested his forehead in his palm, "Nik, please don't make me do this."

"Don't make you do what? Tell the truth?"

"It's true, alright?! It's true, every word," He admitted.

"WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. SAY?" I growled.

"IT'S TRUE! EVERY DAMN WORD. Happy? I love you, alright?" James sighed.

I could feel my face turning red.

Yes, I feel colours.

You heard me correctly.

"Nik, you alright?" James said warily.


"I should have told you... ow... myself... OW... I know, I'm sorry! OW DAMMIT!"


At this point I was throwing anything I could get my hands on at him.

"YOU... STUPID... BASTARD!" I yelled as I threw miscellaneous things of his at him, "I... COULD... KILL... YOU!"

He dodged out of the way of book, came up to me, grabbed my face, and kissed me.




"Shut the bloody fuck up," James said sternly as he kissed me again.

"Thank you," he smirked as he pulled away.

I sat on his bed with a huff and crossed my arms.

"Nikki, are you pouting because you enjoyed that and you know it, or because I said I loved you?"

"Go to hell, you arse," I grumbled.

"I'll take that as both," he chuckled as he sat next to me, "And I do love you."

I mumbled so he couldn't hear me.

"What? Didn't catch that, seeing as you were mumbling under your breath and all," he said as he raised an eyebrow.

"I said I love you too. There, happy?" I grumbled.

"Do you mean it?" he smirked.

"No, I'm lying. Of course I mean it, you jackass," I growled as I shoved him.

"So, that means, we're like, together, right?" he chuckled nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Duh," I chuckled as I rolled my eyes at him.

"This is the best day ever," he sighed happily as he laid back on his bed.

"What am I going to do with you, Jamesy?" I laughed, "You did it again. Pissed me off to no end, and cheered me back up with a retarded question."

"It was not retarded, now get over here," he frowned as he tugged me next to him and wrapped his arm around me.

"It was too retarded, you git," I laughed as I rested my head on his shoulder, "We both just admitted that we do- in fact- love each other, and you ask if we're together. That, my dear, is retarded. Look up the word 'retarded' in the dictionary, and your question will be right there under the definition."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, retarded or not, you're all mine now," he laughed.

"Nikki Scott belongs to no one!"

"You know what I mean, Love," he smiled as he tilted my chin and kissed me softly, "There, I finally got kiss you properly."

"And did I give you permission to stop?" I scowled.

"I need permission for everything, don't I?" He chuckled.

"Yes. Yes you do," I nodded with a grin.

"Tough luck for you then," he smirked as he leaned in and kissed me again.

"James, m'love, I have come to the conclusion that I do not tell you enough how absolutely brilliant you are," I smiled.

"I know I am," He grinned smugly.

"Now just to make sure we don't get caught."

"Psha, you kidding? Nev... I mean Professor Longbottom won't suspect me, he thinks I suck at Charms.

"Yeah, but you are skipping Potions," I pointed out as I laid my head in his lap.

"Whatever, Sluggy's an arse, he probably won't even notice I'm gone," he smiled as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Shouldn't we kind of be thanking Al? He did organize my kidnapping, which led to us-"

"Yes, which I will kiss him for, but he still turned my broom into a damn... ugh, I don't even want to talk about it," he shuddered.

"Please don't kiss your brother."

"Why, jealous?" He smirked.

"No, it's freaking gross. If you kiss you brother, I swear I will not kiss you ever again," I threatened, "Because that would be like me kissing Al and... ew no."

"Yeah, I don't like that idea any more either," he chuckled.

"Hi James," Jasmine Sullivan winked as she walked by to the girls dorms.

"HELL NO!" I growled.

"Calm down, Nik, sheesh. We haven't even been together for an hour and you're getting protective."

As James' Grandad says all the time, "Truth will out."

"Actually, I've been protective for a while," I said as I bit my lip.


"Maybe?" I said sheepishly.

He burst out into laughter.

"Nikki, that was bloody brilliant."

"You're not mad?"

"No, why would I be? I was only talking to her to see what you would do."

"You wanker!" I yelled as I punched him.

"I never dreamed you would actually hex her, though. Merlin, I love you," he laughed as he bent down to kiss me.

"You'd better, I don't want to have to hex all the girls in the school," I grinned.

"My little troublemaker," he chuckled as he ruffled my hair.

"OH. MY. GOD. Did I just see what I think I did?!" Lily squealed.

"Um, maybe?" James said as he shifted his eyes.


"Lils?" James said as he rubbed his temples.


"Don't squeal, please. You're going to give me an aneurysm."

"Fine, but I'm going to tell everyone it worked, bye!" She giggled as she sped out of the common room.

She may only be fourteen, but she is one hell of a romantic, that Lily Potter.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with that girl," James sighed.

"Oh come on, Lils is the least harmful of your family," I laughed with a roll of my eyes.

"Hugo isn't harmful..."

"He's a male Weasley, he's harmful, believe me. Lils wins."

"Yeah, but you haven't had Lily rage at you!"

"You probably deserved it! What did you do to get her to freak?"

"Transfigured her Hogwarts, A History book into one of those Muggle Harlequin romance books," he snickered.

"See? You deserved it! I would have killed you if you turned one of my schoolbooks into that legal smut cra... WAIT A MINUTE. You transfigured it?! You suck at Transfig!"

"Actually, I'm rather good at it, I just wanted to spend more time with you... PLEASE DON'T HURT ME," He winced.


"But you love Transfi... AHHH!" He yelped as I threw the book at him.

"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND ALL MY FREE TIME DOING IT, YOU WANKER!" I screamed as I grabbed books off the bookshelf and threw them at his head.

"Nik! You're going to... GAH!... give me brain damage! SHIT!"

"WELL, IF I DO, DON'T EXPECT ME TO TUTOR YOU!" I growled as I grabbed the cast-iron fireplace poker, leapt over the back of the couch and resumed chasing him.

"What are you doing with that?!" He screeched as he ran.

"I'm going to beat your bloody brains out, that's what!"

"Honeymoon's over," I heard Rose giggle.

"GET BACK HERE POTTER AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!" I screamed as I knocked a chair over.

"NO THANKS!" He whimpered as he ran behind a wall tapestry.

"Nik, chill out!" Al yelled as he grabbed my arm.

"Let go! I need to murder your brother!" I screamed as I spun around and accidentaly whacked Al in the head with the poker.

"OW, GODDAMMIT NIKKI, GIVE ME THAT!" He roared as he tore it out of my hand, "Great, I'm bleeding, wonderful. Thanks Nik."

"You deserved it! Didn't anyone ever tell you not to accost an angry girl with a fireplace poker?!"

"No! Because it's crazy! Why would someone warn me about that?!" He growled as Rose tended to his head wound.

"Well now you know," I nodded triumphantly.

"Are you done trying to kill me?" James said as he peered out from behind the tapestry

"For now," I huffed as I sat on the couch, "I guess beating one Potter is better than not beating any Potters at all."

"Good, because I'm not ready to die," he said as he sat on the couch and wrapped his arms around me.

"So it did work then? KICK ASS," Al cheered, "I told you that it would work!" He laughed as he high-fived Fred.

"About this... intervention," James said sternly as he cleared his throat, "WHY DID YOU BLOODY KIDNAP HER?!"

"Because, James, she wouldn't have come willingly and you know it," Rose replied proudly, "Besides, I had fun, after all the crap you guys pulled on me."

"I KNEW YOU WERE GETTING REVENGE, YOU TART!" I screamed accusingly as I pointed at her.

"I never said I wasn't," she laughed.

"Please don't kidnap Nikki again," James told them warningly, "Or the prank that will befall all of you will go down in history. I will put Grandad, Uncle Sirius, Uncle Fred, and Uncle George to shame. Believe you me," he said sternly as he pointed at each of them in turn.

"We have no need to kidnap her again," Fred chuckled, "We got the point through, thank Merlin. I don't think I could deal with that again."

"Yeah, yeah, you tossers," I grumbled, "Now go away."

"We'll leave you two lovebirds alone," Al chortled, "Come on Freddie, let's go blow something up."

"Wait for me!" Colin yelled as he ran after them.

"Wankers," James chuckled as nuzzled his face in my hair.

"Hey, it's your family," I laughed.

"Stupid bloody class. Don't get me wrong, I like Professor Neville and all, but this class blows," Al grumbled as we walked in the greenhouses the next day.

"It's kind of important, Al," I chuckled, "If it wasn't for this class, and you got petrified, well then, you'd just be totally screwed, wouldn't you?"

"Still sucks," he grunted as we set our stuff at our station.

"What ever am I going to do with you and your incompetent brain?" I laughed.

"S'not incompetent! I just don't like this class!"

"Well, then maybe you should drop it, Mr. Potter."

"Neville's right behind me, isn't he?" Al winced.

"That's Professor Longbottom on school grounds, Mr. Potter. Detention, 7 p.m., my office, please. And I'll be telling your Dad," Neville said calmly as he walked to the front of the class.

"But... but... wha.... why... uuuugh bollocks," Al whined as he slammed his head on the table.

"Albus, dear, you and your brother need to not slam your heads on tables. It hurts me. And in all fairness you kind of deserved that," I smirked.

"But I already have detention tonight! At 9 with McGonagall! This is so not cool," he mumbled.

"If you're going to talk to me Al, get your head off the table, I can hardly understand you. And the marshmallow thing was your idea."

"But you only got one night! S'not fair!"

"Yes, but one- there was hardly any evidence against me, and two- James loves me more," I laughed as I stuck my tongue out.

"Shuddup," he frowned.

All of a sudden, the most horrid piercing noise broke out in the greenhouse. Every one of us fell to the ground covering our ears.

"OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!" Al screeched.

"THE MANDRAKES!" I yelled back.


Neville yelled something as he charmed them all back in the pots.

"What?" I yelled back, "I can't really hear!"

He just glared at us and pointed in front of him. That I understood.

"Detention, the both of you. Two days. Starting tomorrow, since you already have one tonight, Mr. Potter. 7 p.m. sharp," he snapped.

James never got caught. I had to take two detentions. I didn't complain though, because he's taken I don't even know how many detentions with me when he didn't have to.

That boy is lucky I love him.

Chapter 13: Reason 13, Detention 23-25
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James and I had been together for five days, and we were doing an amazing job keeping it a secret, seeing as there wasn't that much of a change in our relationship.

We had beaten Ravenclaw in the Quidditch match two days before, so that Monday morning we Gryffies were all still in quite a celebratory mood.

Most of the Claws were still disappointed. Especially Taka. He made sure to give me the nastiest look he could everytime he passed me.

It was only a game, sheesh. S'not my fault I have better eyesight than him. And that I'm faster than him. He should've trained harder.

So we were all sitting at our table eating and laughing about anything- with the exception of James, who was on his way down- when the morning post came in. And what followed was exactly what James and I had been trying to avoid.

"Oh, my Witching Weekly is here!" Dom squealed happily. Her and her stupid obsessions with teen magazines.

"I don't know why you read that crap, Dom," Lily stated as she and Rose unrolled their Daily Prophets.

"Oh. My. God!" Dom exclaimed angrily.

"What? Is one of your celebrity crushes taken?" I laughed.

"Not so much," She grumbled.

"Oh my bloody God, who spilled?!" Rose screeched as she looked at the front page of the Prophet.

There was an equal look of horror on Lily's face.

I looked across the hall to see Al looking redder than I've ever seen him as he stared at his.

And murmurs broke out all over the hall.

"What's going on?" I asked as my brow furrowed.

"This is what's going on," Dom said as she swore under her breath and tossed her unopened magazine at me.

My eyes practically bulged out of my head as I read the headline-

"James Potter Stolen From Our Pool Of Gorgeous Single Men!"

And under that was a picture of James kissing me outside of our Quidditch locker room.

"WHAT THE HELL!" I screamed.

No one had been around when that happened. We checked.

"Give me that," I growled as I tore Rose's paper out of her hand. Wasn't like she was reading it, she was still gawking at the front page.

"Harry Potter's Eldest Finally Removed From The Eligible Bachelor Circuit."

And under it was "By none other than his long-time friend and Quidditch teammate, Nikole Scott." With the same bloody picture.

"Morning," James said cheerfully as he sat next to me, "Why is everyone so damn quiet? And Nik, why are you shaking?"

I threw the paper at him and slammed my head on the table.

"Who said something?" He sighed.

"We don't know!" Lily cried, "We were wondering the same thing!"

"The only people who knew," he whispered, "Were you guys. Who. Bloody. Spilled."

"James, it wasn't any of us, mate," Hugo said defensively.

"We swear," his family said in unison.

"Well, cat's out of the bag now," He sighed again as he stood up tossed the paper back to Rose, "Might as well clear up the rumors."

"James, what are you doing?" I whispered harshly as he stood on the bench.

"Making things clear," he shrugged.

"James, don't you DARE," I growled.

"No reason in being so angry, it's already too late, Love," He smirked as he stepped onto the table and cleared his throat loudly.

Lucky for him the hall was so damn quiet. Not so lucky for me.

"Alright, everybody listen the bloody hell up..."

"James, I swear to Merlin," I huffed.

He kneeled down so he was closer to my level, "You know what Nik? Let them know. I'm bloody proud to be with you, and quite frankly, I hope the whole bloody world knows now. I hope they know that my heart belongs to you, and none of them will ever have it," He smiled warmly as he stood back up.

Damn, that boy makes good points.

"You know what? You're right James. Who cares. Not our problem if they don't like it," I shrugged.

"Exactly, Love. Alright, back to the rest of you!" He yelled at the hall full of students who hadn't said a word since he first got their attention.

"Mr. Potter, please sit down!" Minnie scolded.

"Please, Professor, I really need to clear some things up," he begged.

"Fine, Mr. Potter, but do make it quick please," She replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Thank you, Professor. Now back to where I was. Yes, Nikki and I are together. If you don't like it, frankly, we don't give two shits-"

"Language, Mr. Potter!"

"Sorry, Professor. If you have anything bad to say, good for you. Have fun. But I love this girl," he stopped to point at me, "And no one is going to change my mind about it. Thank you again, Professor," he nodded as he climbed off the table.

"Nice speech," Rose said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

"Thank you," He smirked as he sat next to me, wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and kissed me in front of the whole school.

Cheers, jeers, and scoffs broke out all over the hall. And I turned bright red out of embarrassment.

"See? All good," He smiled widely as he kissed my forehead.

"What on earth was that?" Al chortled as he set his hand on James' shoulder.

"That was me putting an end to the crap," James nodded triumphantly.

"You, my dear brother, are an idiot," Al laughed as he sat next to James and stole a muffin off his plate.

"Get your own," James growled as he punched him in the shoulder.

"I did. From your plate," Al chuckled.

"Shut up, the both of you," Lily grumbled with a roll of her eyes.

"Hi guys."

I looked up to see the Scamander twins grinning from ear to ear.

"How can we help you two today? Did Nargles eat your school books? Oh wait, no, I know what it was. The Nargles stole all your school clothes and replaced them with rags," I drawled.

"No, they ate our books last year," Lorcan piped up looking rather annoyed.

"We actually have interesting information for you," Lysander said smugly.

"Oh, do tell, I can't wait to hear what it is this time," I sighed.

"We know how you two got in the magazines. And the papers," Lorcan said lightly.

"I swear to Merlin, if you tell us it was a Nargle, or anything of the sort, I'll hex you both," James huffed.

"No, it was a person-" Lorcan started.

"Gee, thanks for that, Sherlock," I mumbled under my breath.

"-Someone in our house actually-" Lysander nodded.

"Mhm, Taka Chang," Lorcan finished with a smile.


"Alright, so is everyone here?" James said loudly as he looked around the room.

"I think so," I replied, "Go through the list."

Taka was going down, and this time, we had an army. We had all grouped up in the Common Room before classes to think of a comeback.

"Heather and Frank?"

"Here," The two Longbottoms replied.

I love Neville's kids. They're both Gryffindors of course. Heather's in my year, smart as hell, and more sarcastic than me. Frank is in James' year, and hilarious; very quick with comebacks. I've witness many a bad burn dealt by Frank. He's just as smart as Heather, too. Named after his Grandad I believe. Just don't cross the Longbottoms, or you will rue the day you did. The brains they got from their Dad, but I don't know where they got the rest. Probably from their mother. I also don't know why they hate Chang so much. Probably because Taka's just a raging arse.

"All the Weasleys are here," Rose piped up.

"We're here," Lysander spoke up for himself and his dozy-eyed brother.

"And obviously we Potters are here," Lily sighed.

"I'm here," Malfoy smirked from the couch where he was next to Rose.

"Why is HE here?" I whispered harshly to Al.

"Because he hates Taka too. Plus, we need as many people as we can get. Let the weird grudge go for a bit, please," Al sighed.

"Aaand Colin's here. Okay, we're all set. Now. What on earth can we do to that git?" James said as he leaned against the bookshelf that I was sitting on and wrapped his fingers around mine.

"Why don't you ask Malfoy? He is the King of Gits after all," I grumbled.

"Nikki!" Al yelled.

"Arse," I hissed at him.

"How about another toilet prank, eh? You lot are great at that! Let's just throw shit at him!" Malfoy growled.

"Scorpius!" Rose scolded.

"Our ideas are better than any of yours, you stupid wanker!" I yelled.

"Nik, Love, calm down," James whispered.

"I don't know if you noticed, but I have better things to do than prank random people," He said smugly.

"Oh, really? Than what the bloody hell are you doing here! Get out!" I roared as I grabbed a book off the shelf and threw it at him, hitting him square in the face.


"You stupid little slag!" He screamed as he stood up and threw it back at me. I ducked in time.

James had lifted him off the ground by his collar before I could think of a comeback.

"I swear to Christ, Malfoy. If you EVER call Nikki a slag again, I will kill you with my bare hands," he snarled.

"Al, please tell your brother to put me down," Malfoy huffed.

"No can do, mate. That was out of line, even for you. Whatever James does to you, hate to say this, but you kind of deserve it," Al shrugged as he crossed his arms.

"James, put him down for me, please," Rose said with a smirk.

He listened, but not before shoving him against the wall and glowering at him.

"Scor, dear," Rose said sweetly.

"Yeah Rosie?" He replied as he rubbed his head where it had collided with the stone.

She punched him right in his precious jewels, and he fell to the floor, moaning and coughing like an idiot.

"Don't you EVER call her that again, or I'll cut them off myself. And then let James finish the job," she growled as she stepped over his crumpled form.

"Thank you Rose," I said, completely astonished.

"Not a problem," she smiled sweetly as she sat back down.

Nice to know the girl still likes me despite all the pranks we pulled on her.

"Did you know that getting any sort of feces in your hair will cause it to shrivel up and fall out?" Lorcan said with his trademark daydreaming face.

"Hair can't shrivel, you arse," Heather snapped as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh it can, believe me," Lorcan replied with a positive nod, "It shrivels right up. And then falls out. Ask Mum, it was in The Quibbler. Said the man's hair didn't grow back for months."

"You know," Al grinned mischievously, "It may not shrivel-"

"Yes it does!" The twins said in unison.

"But I'm pretty sure it's hard to get that smell out," Al finished as he glared at the twins for interrupting him.

"It is," Fred grumbled, "Takes about two weeks. And it obviously doesn't shrivel and fall out."

Apparently he was still bitter about the fact that I threw the crap-rag at him.

"I don't think I want to know how you know that Fred, but I'll take your word for it," Al chuckled.

James and I just snickered under our breath as Fred flipped his middle finger up at me.

"So you want to throw shit in his hair? That's kind of- what's the word?- oh, right, LAME," Heather sneered.

"She's right you know," I agreed.

"Well, of course THAT would be lame. No, I have a more brilliant plan. One that can hardly incriminate the lot of us," Al smirked.

"Do tell, my dear brother," James grinned as he wrapped his arm around me.

"This better be a good idea," Heather grumbled.


"WHAT?! DO I HAVE A FREAKING BLOODY TARGET ON MY HEAD OR SOMETHING?!" Taka screamed at the sky as a horde of birds relieved themselves on top of his head for the seventh time that day. And we were only just about to go to lunch.

James was the culprit this time, I could tell by the smug look on his face as he walked up to Al and I.

"You know, those Scamanders may be bloody insane, but they spark brilliant ideas," he laughed as he kissed my forehead.

"Sometimes," I shrugged as I slung my bag over my shoulder, "Turn around."

"Why am I turning around?" He laughed as he did as told.

"Because I don't feel like walking," I grunted as I hopped on his back, "That's why."

"You are so lazy, Nik," Al chuckled as we walked to the Great Hall.

"Hey wait up," Heather said with a grin as she ran up to us, "I got him twice so far."

"Wow, that's nine times then," James snickered.

"Seriously?" Heather burst out laughing, "That's awesome. And the git still has no clue?"

"Nope," we replied in unison.

"Simply amazing," she chuckled, "Alright, see you guys later!"

"Bye, Heather!" We waved.

"Al... don't you dare!" I warned when I saw the look on his face.

"What?!" He yelled defensively.

"She's too smart for your little tricks. It would never work," I nodded, "She would beat you down."

"What am I missing?" James asked.

"Al was watching Heather walk away with "The Look"," I tattled as I rested my chin on his shoulder.

"Al, you can try, but it's your funeral," James laughed.

"You guys are jerks," he huffed as we walked into the Great Hall, "But I'm sitting with you anyways."

"You are such a moron, Al," I laughed as James set me down and I sat on the bench, "You really think she'll fall for it?"

"Who said I wanted to make her fall for anything?"

"Hold the phone!" James said in shock, "Does Albus Severus Potter actually LIKE a girl?"

"Shuddup, you sod," Al grumbled as he punched James in the arm.

"OH MY GOD, AL YOU'RE BLUSHING!" I screeched as I pointed at him, "YOU DO! YOU LIKE HER!"

"SHUT UP, NIKOLE!" He yelled as he threw a piece of carrot past James at me.

"Who does Al like?" Dom squealed as she sat on the other side of me and clapped.

"No one!" Al growled.

"Al likes Heather Longbottom," I chuckled.

"NIKKI!" He screamed as he reached around James and smacked me in the back of the head.

"OW! YOU SOD!" I yelled as I smacked him with my spoon.

"Can you guys stop reaching around me? It's rather annoying," James sighed.

"Sorry schnookums," I cooed jokingly

"DO NOT call me that. I'll kill you," James said with a blush.

"Anyways," I said as I turned back to Dom, "She came up to us to tell us that she got Taka twice, yeah? Well as she was walking away he got 'The Look'. We warned him that she would beat him down, and wouldn't fall for his tricks, and his response was, I quote 'Who said I wanted to make her fall for anything?'"

"Oh my God, Al!" She jeered, "How cute!"

"I hate you Nikole," he huffed as he slammed his head in his hands.

For the record, Al has only actually liked one other girl in his six years at Hogwarts. Too bad she cheated on him with Taka. Hence the reason Al hates him so much.

"Al, would you like us to help you?" Dom said sweetly.

"I don't need the help of females to get a female," he laughed.

"And why do you think that?" I said as I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Because, Nikole. I'm Albus Potter," he smirked.

"He's got a point, Love," James chuckled as he took a bite out of his apple.

Just then an owl flew in and dropped a red envelope in front of James.

"Oh Jesus," he groaned.

But before it flew back out, it let a load out on Taka's head.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" He screamed as he stood up and threw a roll at the owl, missing by a long shot.

And Lorcan gave his brother a high-five.

"I'd run with that if I was you, Jamesy," Al laughed.

But it was far too late.


And with that it burst into flames and the ashes floated to the table.

"You need to learn to open those before they open themselves," Al groaned as he rubbed his ears, "Mum's making me deaf and I'm not even at home. Hell, I'm not even the one getting screamed at."

"I got Taka once," Rose said as she sat down, "And Scor got him twice. Nice Howler by the way, James," she chuckled.

"Sod off," he grumbled.

"I got him four times," Lily grinned triumphantly.

"Kick-ass!" I cheered quietly, "So with everyone else that's... seventeen! We should hit thirty by dinner!"

"That is seriously amazing," Al snickered "Stupid sodding bastard."

"Who's a 'stupid sodding bastard' now Al?" Heather chuckled as she sat across from me.

"Taka, of course," I laughed.

"What are we up to?" She asked as she stole an apple from the middle of the table and took a bite.


And then proceeded to spit the apple all over the table.

"SEVENTEEN?! I thought we were at nine fifteen minutes ago?!" She laughed.

"Well, you missed the Howler bit, but Lorcan got him as the owl was flying away, Rose got him once, Lily got him four times, and Scorarse got him twice," I said smugly with a nod.

"Poor, poor Eurasian bastard," she chuckled, "He crossed the wrong family."

"Damn straight he did," Al grimaced.


By Dinner, we had the count tallied to forty-seven. Taka wasn't even there. Probably hiding out in his dorm, the wanker.

"Forty-seven. Un-bloody-believable," James chuckled as he pulled me onto the couch with him.

"Definitely our most rewarding prank to date," I laughed.

"Most definitely," he laughed as he nuzzled his face in my hair.

"You two. Don't move," Neville scolded as he stormed in the common room.


I snickered quietly as everyone else made their way into the Common Room.

"You got away with your little prank long enough! I can't believe you got away with it as long as you did! Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter, and the Scamander boys are being taken care of as we speak, and so are you all! Three nights of detention. STARTING NOW. With Mr. Filch! Let's go!"

We all laughed to ourselves as we followed him out of the common room to the horrible detention that awaited us.

Chapter 14: Reason 14, Detention 26
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"Jamesy, Jamesy my love," I sang as I skipped to where he was in the library.

"What's got you in such a damn good mood?" He chuckled.

"I am just oh so happy to be alive, don't ya know?!" I said happily as I sat down across from him and pulled my work out.

"Who put something in your food this time?" He said as he looked at me skeptically.

"Okay, okay so it's not that I'm happy to be alive- but for the record, I am," I chuckled, "I just had a brilliant stroke of genius."

"That would explain the singing. And the skipping. And the whistling you're doing right now," He laughed as he leaned across the table and kissed me.

"You interrupted my beautiful song!" I frowned.

"Oh yes, very beautiful, considering..." He paused to cover his face, "The fact that you can't whistle a tune for shit."

"Jerk," I scowled as I threw my Potions book at him, "As my boyfriend, you're supposed to agree and tell me it's fantastic."

"Yes, but we don't want lies in our relationship either," He laughed as he resume glancing at his papers.

"True," I shrugged, "So don't you want to know about my brilliant stroke of genius?" I laughed giddily as I hopped up and down in my chair.

"If it's got you acting like this, quite frankly, I'm afraid for my own life," he chuckled.

"Shuddup," I pouted as I kicked him in the leg, "So Al likes Heather, yeah? Well..."

"I already don't like where this is going Nik," He sighed as he shook his head.

"Let me finish, arse! So he hasn't done a damn thing about it, and it's been almost a week. I think he needs... persuasion," I smirked.

"'Persuasion'? Nik, I really don't like where this is going..."

"I just think they need a little... alone time," I finished with a nod.

"You want to lock them in a broom closet, don't you?" He sighed as he dropped his head into his hands.

"Well, it kinda sorta worked for us," I shrugged.

"Nik, first off, we weren't locked in. Secondly, we are two completely different people. You lock her in a closet with him, he will come out with broken bones. If he even comes out of the closet at all."

"Heh, heh, Al coming out of the closet, that would be something I would pay to see," I snickered to myself.

"Oh stop it," he laughed, "You and I both know Al is not gay."

"No, but it would be pretty damn funny if he was," I chuckled as I flipped through my Arithmancy book.

"I still don't know how you deal with that damn class," he huffed.

"Because I'm smarter than you, duh," I said as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hey guys, can I sit with you?" Frank Longbottom asked shakily with a look of pure fear spread across his face.

"Only if you tell us what's got you so scared," James chuckled without looking up from his work.

"It's Sinead. She scares the crap out of me, and has been dogging me all day, trying to sit with me," he twitched as he sat next to me.

"Sinead? As in Sinead Finnigan?" James said as he raised an eyebrow.

"Finnigan? Colin has a sister? How did I miss that?" I marveled.

"You didn't know Colin had a twin sister?" James laughed.

"If you can even call her a twin," Frank twitched yet again.

"No," I shook my head.

"Well that's a first. Nikki didn't know about someone in the school," James laughed.

"Shuddup you git," I huffed as I crossed my arms, "So why is she so terrible?"

"Well, for one," Frank whispered, "her face looks like a foot. Secondly, she never shuts up. Ever. And thirdly, she is bloody obsessed with me."

"Why is she obsessed with you? S'not like you're anything great to look at," I snickered.

"That's not what your Mum said," he smirked, "Oh and..."

"If you say 'And your Dad' I will most positively hurl all over you," I grimaced.

"I wasn't, and that's twisted Nikki. No. I was going to say, she's been sending me these uber-stalkerish love letters," he finished with a shudder.

"Why don't you just, oh, I don't know, tell her off like I suggested last week?" James mumbled.

"I bloody tried that! She said that I was 'just denying my affections, and that she would make me see the pool of love that is hidden in my heart for her', or some bollocks like that."

"Wow, sounds like a total freak. Now I see how I didn't know about her," I chuckled.

"Oh Frankie! There you are!"

Frank was right. Her face really did look like a foot.

"Merlin, smite me, please," he groaned as he slammed his head on the table.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" She squealed happily.

Not only did her face look like a foot, she sounded like a mouse. And obviously wasn't very bright. Poor Frank. I had to help him.

"It's Sinead, right?" I said with the friendliest smile I could manage.

"Yes it is. And you're Nikole. I know all about you, I read the articles."

She smiled like it was some kind of accomplishment.

I was trying not to punch her in her hideous foot-esque face.

"Well, you can't believe everything you read in papers," I said as my eye twitched a little, "Listen, I'm really sorry to be a bother, but Frank here was just helping me with Arithmancy homework, since James is useless when it comes to that subject..."

"I am not! I just don't have the patience!" He defended.

I kicked him under the table.


"Anywho, I really need his help for a bit, if you don't mind. I'm really stuck," I finished with the best smile I could fake.

Bitch was seriously that ugly.

"Oh, Arithmancy. I don't know how you deal with that. Frank, you are so sweet for helping her. And so smart for knowing it!" She sighed happily as she pinched his cheek and tottered away.

"Nikki, I owe you big time," he sighed, "Do you really need help with Arithmancy?"

"Psha, no. I'm an Arithmancy genius. I pitied you. Enjoy it. I don't pity people often," I chuckled, "But, there is something you can help me with."

"Name it," he smiled.

"NO NIKOLE," James sighed.

"YES JAMES," I retorted, "I need some help with your sister."

"I like the sound of this already," Frank smirked as he wrang his hands together mischievously.

"Al! Wait up!" I yelled as I spotted him walking down the hall.

"What now, Nik? I swear to Merlin, if it's an idea that'll get me another detention, I will personally kill you," He huffed with a roll of his eyes as I caught up to him.

"No it's not, you sod," I sneered as I kicked him.

"Why did you kick me?"

"Because my hands are at their full holding capacity, therefore I am physically incapable of shaping my hand into a fist and punching you in one of your appendages," I drawled.

"You could have just said 'My hands are full'," he chuckled.

"Psha. My way sounded more intelligent, thank you very much," I nodded snobbily.

"What am I going to do with you, Nikole?" He laughed.

"Stop calling me that, you arse!" I yelled as I kicked him so hard I nearly lost my balance.

"Ow! Alright, alright! I'll stop calling you Niiiikoooolllleeee," he smirked as he ran ahead of me a little, hindering my kicking of his calf.

"Stupid bloody Goblin taint, I'll kill you when I catch up to you."

"Sure you wi- wait? What on earth did you just call me? Goblin taint?" He chortled.

"Yes. I called your brother that last week, and I am quite fond of it. It just so happens to be my new favorite insult," I nodded.

"Did you follow me to beat me and insult me, or did you have a reason to bother me?" He laughed.

"I require your help for a minute actually," I lied, "Come on with me."

Stupid, stupid Al should know better than to listen to me by now.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU NIKOLE. OPEN THE DOOR!" Al growled from inside the closet.

"Sorry, no can do," I chuckled.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Heather yelled.

"Nope. You have to stay there," Frank snickered.

They had been yelling at us for fifteen minutes. They had to give up soon.

"So you really did it, didn't you?" James scoffed with a roll of his eyes as he walked over to us.

"Of course I did," I scoffed back, "It was a good idea."

"It really was," Frank agreed.

"Thank you, Frank."

"Nikki, I'll pay you ten galleons if you let me out," Al begged.

I almost let him out. That's alot of money for a pauper like myself.

"As much as it hurts my pockets to say this, no. I'm afraid I can't let you out of there," I frowned.

"Nikki, I'll pay you twenty galleons if you ignore him," Frank chuckled, "I got it right in my pocket."


"I HATE YOU FRANK!" Al screamed as he slammed his fists on the door.

"Pay up, motha fucka," I grinned as I held my hand out.

"Nice doing business with you," He smirked as he dropped the pouch in my hand.

"See James? It was a good idea. I just made money off it," I smiled triumphantly.

"Okay, I can't argue with you there," he laughed as he leaned against the wall next to me.

"Dad's gonna kill you when he finds out what you did with his money!" Heather growled from the other side.

"HAH. See that's where you're wrong. That was- in fact- my own money. And I can do as I please with it," Frank corrected.

"Way to waste money, you stupid sod," She grumbled.

"He is not wasting it! I'm poor!" I piped up.

"You're family is not poor!" Al yelled.

"Just because my family isn't doesn't mean I'm not, you arse. You know how my parents are. They barely ever give me any. I have to earn it!"

"Well, I guess the lack of street corners at Hogwarts would be the reason you're poor," Al snickered.

"THAT'S IT. YOU'RE DEAD WHEN I DO LET YOU OUT!" I screamed at the door.

"Ignoring is bliss, Nik. Ignoring is bliss," Frank sighed happily.

"It's 'Ignorance is bliss', you retard."

"Shut up, Heather," he snapped.

"Why are the three of you standing around a closet," Minnie asked, clearly suspicious of our agenda.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

I knew how to count. This was detention fifteen with Minnie.

"Just having a little chat is all, Professor," Frank said, flashing a winning smile at her as he leaned on the door.


"You locked students in a broom closet again?!" She yelled as she shoved Frank out of the way and let them out.

"Maybe..." I mumbled.

"DETENTION, MISS SCOTT, MR. POTTER, AND MR. LONGBOTTOM! AND MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW. I'M CALLING YOUR PARENTS IN!" She screamed as she grabbed James and Frank by the back of their robes and dragged them down the hall.

I just trudged behind them. I was dead.

Chapter 15: Reason 15, Detention 27
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(A/N: Thanks to my wonderful Jack, without who the Irwin bit wouldn't be possible. ILY!!!)

I got in humungo trouble when my parents came in. No, I am not going to tell you about it. I have no desire to relive that nightmare in any way, shape, or form. I'll just tell you that I'm already grounded for the first two weeks of summer vacation.

It was Thanksgiving day in America. We don't celebrate it here in England. Stupid bastards. I want a day where I can gorge myself on food and not get called fat.

I'm not fat. I just like my foods. Back off.

So needless to say, I was pouting. Two reasons- one, I wanted a food day, and two, I was still utterly peeved that my first two weeks of summer would be spent in the confinement of my house.

Which would be fine if it was just Mum and I. But no. Daddy will be home alot.

Don't get me wrong, I love my Dad to bits. He's just completely bonkers.

And by bonkers I mean he puts the nutters down at the psych ward to shame.


Last summer, I was grounded the whole way through- thanks to James and Al of course- so I was stuck either in my house or in the yard. Daddy decided to try and... "bond"... if you will.

I ended up in our pond covered in lily pads and pond scum. There was even a frog on my head.

It would have been quite a fashion statement if it wasn't, you know, utterly disgusting.

"Why are you pouting Nik?" Heather laughed as she sat across from me.

I just mumbled incoherently.

"What?" she asked.

"She's pouting because she's not only grounded the first two weeks of summer, but she wants a Turkey 'Gorge Yourself' Day," James chuckled as he sat next to me and kissed my head.

"How did you understand her?" Heather puzzled.

"I am very fluent in Nikki Mumble. It's a talent," he smirked, "That and she pouts about the food every year."

"Why do you want to gorge yourself?" Heather piqued.

"Because. S'not fair. The stupid bloody American kids get the day off to eat all the potatoes, turkey, and pie they want. Who wouldn't want that?" I replied with a dreamy sigh.

"Me," Dom said pointedly as she sat down.

"Just because you're anorexic doesn't mean I want to be," I snapped.

"Sorry," she snapped back.

"Dom, you know never to argue with Nik on Food Deprivation Day. It's just a generally bad idea to even try," Al snickered as he sat next to Heather.

"I hate this bloody country sometimes," I huffed as I rested my chin on my folded arms, "Those American kids are fat enough. They need to sodding share, the greedy little bastards."

"It's Food Deprivation Day, isn't it?" Rose chuckled as she and Malfoy sat down.

"What in Merlin's name is Food Deprivation Day?" Malfoy sneered.

"I swear to God. If one more person says Food Deprivation Day, I'll kill them," I grunted.

"FDD," Rose grinned at her way around my threat, "Is our term for Thanksgiving."

"That American holiday?" Malfoy replied.

"No. The Czechoslovakian one. Yes, the American one, you dimwit," I snarled.

"Why Food... I mean, FDD?" He asked as he glanced at me fearfully.

He'd better fear me. Stupid slimy git. I'll reign down on him with the fury of a thousand Molly Weasleys, I swear.

"Every year since we got here, Nikki pouts on Thanksgiving because she wants the day off to gorge herself on potatoes, turkey, corn, pie, et cetera. But for blatantly obvious reasons, we don't celebrate it. Hence FDD," Al answered.

"Oh because she's being deprived of the food!" Malfoy exclaimed.

What in God's name does Rose see in that moron?"

"Aren't you the smart one!" I exclaimed sarcastically, "Daddy must be so proud!"

"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock," James drawled at the same time.

"Don't talk about my Father," Malfoy snarled.

"Do not fuck with me, Lemming Boy. Today is not the day to do that," I growled.

"She's right," Al, Rose, Lily, and Fred said in unison.

"Stupid crappy eggs," I grumbled as I pushed them around my plate.

"Nik, please don't boycott food today," James chuckled.

"Why not?" I huffed.

"Remember what happened when you did that last year? You didn't last. And who had to sneak down to the kitchens and get you food in the middle of the night because you were 'so hungry'? I won't do that again," he laughed.

He was lying. He would so do it if I begged with The Look.

"You're such a liar, James. You know you will if she asks," Fred chuckled.

"That- my dear cousin- is because my brother is utterly whipped," Al smirked.

"I. AM. NOT."

"You so are, James," Rose laughed.

James looked at me to help him. Wasn't going to happen.

"What? Don't look at me like I'm your savior out of this one. You are whipped," I snickered.

"No, I'm not," He grunted as he shoveled some eggs in his mouth.

"Whatever you say, James," Heather laughed.

"Nik, Please enlighten me to the fact why you feel the need to do the same thing every Care of Magical Creatures Class. The man is long dead. Leave him be," Al sighed as we walked to the Gryffindor Table for lunch.

"Oh come on, it's fun for me. Stop trying to ruin it," I laughed.

For some odd reason, Al hates it when I impersonate Steve Irwin. I don't know why, everyone else in our class seems to get a kick out of it. Even Rose.

"She did the Steve Irwin thing again, didn't she?" James laughed as I sat next to him.

"Every class, James. It never fails," Al said with a shake of his head.

"I wish I could see it," James grinned.

"It's pretty damn funny," Rose giggled as she sat down next to me.

Told you.

"What's pretty damn funny?" Frank asked as he sat on the other side of James.

"What he said," Colin piped up as he pointed to Frank and joined us.

"Nikki's Steve Irwin impersonation she does every Care of Magical Creatures Class," Heather answered as she sat next to Al. Again. Score one for Nikki's plan.

"Why did we never think of that?" Frank nudged Colin.

"I don't know, but we should have," Colin pouted.

"Why are we talking about Steve Irwin?" Dom puzzled as she sat next to Heather.

"Nikki," Half the group responded.

"Oh. You still do that Nik?" She laughed.

"Duh," I snorted.

"That would be something I would pay to see," Frank grinned.

"Yeah? How much?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

"I'll give you a Galleon if you do it right now," He smirked.

"Me two," Fred piped up.

"And me," Colin added.

"Ditto," laughed Rose, "Even though I see it every day."

"Two from me," James smirked.

"Way to out-do us, you bastard," Frank elbowed him.

"You all need mental help," Al mumbled.

"Six Galleons? You all have yourself a deal," I grinned as I got into a crouching position on the bench, "CRIKEY! Have a look at what we've got 'ere! What is this little beastie?!" I yelled as I pointed to the half-eaten chicken in the middle of the table,

"It looks like some bigger badder beastie got a hold of this poor thing... DON'T GET TOO CLOSE NOW, IT COULD GET YOU!

What a beautiful specimen!  Look at the legs on it mate, those look like some mighty strong 'ind legs! An' those stubby little wings! See, a bird like this needs those big, strong 'ind legs, since the poor thing clearly can't fly. It needs them to run from the other creatures that are out to eat its poor little body. Here comes one now! Everyone quiet while I sneak up on 'im! Don't try this at home kids!" I whispered as Malfoy came towards the table and I grabbed a carrot. "See the huge jaws and pointy nose? He could snaffle me up in just one bite!"

"Why is everyone snickering?" Malfoy frowned as he sat next to Rose.

I was crouched on the side of her where he wouldn't see me unless he was looking for me.

"Nothing," Rose giggled.

"Don't worry, I've got 'im!" I yelled as I leapt out and whacked him over the head with the carrot.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He screamed as he toppled off the bench and onto the floor.

"CRIKEY!" I yelled as I hopped back on the bench, still grasping the carrot, "'E almost got me! Dangerous things, these predators! He could 'ave bit my arm off!"

Malfoy glared up at me from the floor and pulled out his wand.

"Wow! She-er, he, just won't give up will he?" I yelled. "Now watch this!" I shouted as I launched myself at Malfoy and started beating him into submission with my carrot. When he lay limp and un-struggling beneath me I got off. "Well, 'e didn't want to come, but we've got him." I smirked breathing heavily.


At least Hagrid was chuckling.

And half of the Great Hall was in hysterics. I didn't realize I had been that loud.


"Hey Nik, mind if I sit with Heather during Ancient Runes?" Al asked warily.

I almost hit him. I really did. We ALWAYS sit together. But I couldn't have my plan all sorts of messed up.

"Sure," I shrugged.

"Really? You not going to... err... beat me later, are you?" He replied skeptically.

"Nope. You two sit together. I'll find someone to torment," I grinned.

"Sit with me," Rose piped up.

I think my jaw hit the floor.

"Um, what about me?" Malfoy snapped.

"Sit with Zabini," she smiled, "I never see much of Nikki anymore. She's my best friend, and I want to sit with her."

I love Rose Weasley.

Malfoy grumbled incoherently with a sour look plastered on his face. I couldn't help but snicker at him.

"Shut up, Scott. I should have hexed you," he growled.

"Too bad I beat the shit out of you before you could," I laughed, "Oh, don't pout Malfoy, carrot is very nourishing for those silky blonde locks. And it got some of the gel out. That's good, since there was enough to last your Dad a lifetime."

"Stop talking about my Dad!" He yelled.

"Um.... nah. It's fun," I chuckled as I threw a carrot at him, "Eat up, I hear lemmings love carrots."

"You are such a bitch," he mumbled.

"Only to you, Lemming Boy, only to you," I smirked.

"So how are you and James?" Rose asked as we sat down for class fifteen minutes early.

"Never been better," I smiled as I took my notes out.

"Good, I'm glad you two finally got together. It was killing us all," she giggled.

"How are you and Malfoy doing?" I asked.

I had to be nice. She asked first.

"He's being a whiny git lately, to be honest. Clingy too. I'm glad you agreed to sit with me, let me tell you. He's driving me nutters," she sighed.

"Seriously? I mean, I knew he was a whiny git, but to you? Wow. What an arse."

"I don't know what to do, honestly."

"Well, don't ask me, that's for sure. You know I can't stand him," I chuckled.

"I know. I need to start listening to you, your intuition is usually spot-on," She smiled weakly.

She is just trying to shock me to death, I swear.

"Yeah, it is," I agreed with a grin.

"So how many detentions have you racked up so far?" She laughed.

Rose Weasley knows how to effectively change the subject. Like a bloody Pro.

""Um, let's see," I paused to count them up on my fingers, "I believe I'm at.... 26."

"It's only the third week of November!"


"Sheesh, Nik, that's more than you racked up last year by December," she awed.

"What can I say, I love shenanigans, and they love me back," I shrugged.

"Apparently," she snickered, "So did you and James, uh... you know... yet?"

"No. I don't know. Bake a cake? Find the final digit of Pi? Figure out why the Earth is round? Discover why we have yet to reverse gravity?"

"You know," she emphasized, "Have you..."

"God, Rose! No! We haven't even been together for two weeks!"

"Yeah, but you've known each other for forever..."

"Which just makes it that much more awkward. It's bad enough neither of us really know WHAT to do. Granted I probably know alot more than he does... WAIT. DID YOU AND MALFOY...?"

She blushed.

"OH MY GOD! EW EW EW EW BLOODY EW! That's so nasty, Rose!" I cried.

"SHHH! And it was really romantic..."

"I don't want to hear it! LALALALALA!!!" I panicked as I covered my ears.

"Alright, alright, I won't say anything," she chuckled, "But if you feel better not rushing it with James, that's always good too."

"Stupid fat Americans," I mumbled as Rose and I sat down for dinner, "You realize they're over there feasting their faces off?"

"Not anymore, Nik, they're probably sleeping. Time difference, remember?" Rose corrected.

"They have a whole day to eat food, and they're sleeping?! Wasteful gits! If I ever meet an American, I'm going to kick them so hard, they fly back to their country. Or Canada, depending on my aim."

"Try for Canada," Heather laughed as she sat next to me, "More of a punishment."

"That's not nice, me cousin is Canadian," Colin spoke up.

"You're bloody Irish, you git," Frank retorted as he smacked him upside the head.

"So?! It's by marriage!" He yelped.

"Than it's not really your cousin, moron," Heather laughed.

"Where are the boys?" I piped up.

"Oh, supposedly they have a surprise for you. That's all they would tell me," Heather shrugged.

"Oh God. I fear for my life now," I shuddered.

"You probably should," Fred laughed.

Ten minutes later, and everyone was in the Great Hall except James and Al.

"What the bloody hell are they doing?" I huffed.

"Dunno, but by the way they were smirking, it looked time-consuming. And mischievous," Heather shrugged again.

"So you and Al, eh?" I smiled as I nudged her.

"I dunno. Maybe. We'll see if he behaves," she laughed.

"What is that noise?" Lily asked as she looked around the room.

"Is someone... chanting?"

"Sounds like it Dom," Hugo replied with a grin.

"YOU! WEASLEY CHILD! YOU KNOW SOMETHING! WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!" I said frantically as I leaned over the table and grabbed him by his collar.

"Ow... Nik... choking... can't... breathe..."

"Sorry," I said as I let go of him, "I just feel that I have great reason to be mortally afraid. What are they doing?"

"You aren't in any kind of danger, trust me," he smirked.

Stupid Weasley/Potters and their smirks. I'd like to stab the smirks off of their faces with a chicken drumstick. Covered in mustard... or something else equally unpleasant.

"Oh. My. God." Rose said with wide eyes as she stared toward the door.

"What? Oh dear..." I exclaimed as I saw exactly what she was gaping at.

Sure enough, there was James and Al, chanting like Native Americans.

Dancing around in loin cloths and moccasins. And ONLY that.

Oh and the feather headresses.

I think I pissed myself laughing.

You should have seen it.

"How dare you steal our land!" Al screamed at a little Ravenclaw Firstie.

"Now you pay by scalping!" James finished as he grinned maniacally and held a tomahawk in front of the already-scarred child.

The poor thing ran off screaming.

It was great.

"Nice legs Al!" Heather jeered.

"I am not Al! I am Chief Squatting Duck!" He retorted as he danced around the Hufflepuff First and Second years grinning like a madman and waving the tomahawk at them.

"Wow, James has got a nice bum." Heather sniggered as she nudged me.

"Wow, he really does," I laughed, "I never really noticed."

Okay that was a blatant lie. I so noticed. But he always has, well, clothes on.

I looked over at Heather to see her reaction, she had her nose in a book, a twinkle in her eye and was stuffing her face with the turkey that managed to replace what was originally set out for dinner.

"OH MY GOD! MERLIN HAS BLESSED US WITH THE GIFT OF THE TURKEY BIRD!" I screamed like a giddy five-year old as I practically dove at the poor thing.

"Oi! Turkey!" Fred cheered.

"Don't even try it Weasley Child. I will murder you," I growled as I hovered over it protectively, "With my hairbrush. I swear to Merlin. MY. TURKEY. DAMMIT."

"You better share with me, bitch," Heather laughed as she stole some of my precious bird.

"I hate you," I grumbled as I glared at her.

"Nah, you love me," she laughed.

"Mr. Potter and... Mr. Potter!" Minnie screamed as she stood to her feet, "Where are your clothes?!"

"What the bloody hell don't these people get? I'm not Potter! I am Chief Squatting Duck! And this is... Chief... Crapping Bear!" Al grinned as he pointed to James.

"You arse," James shoved Al, "Chief Counting Bear. You stupid retard."

"Whatever," Al scoffed as he waved him off, "Cheif Crapping Bear suits you better."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" James sneered as he pointed his tomahawk at Al.

"You're a craphead? I don't know," Al shrugged with a laugh.

"Boy fight," I whispered to Heather.

"Seriously? They'd fight over that?"

"Uh, yeah. I've seen them fight over much more trivial things, believe me. Like who got to sit where at the dinner table at their house. For no reason whatsoever," I laughed.

"Retards," she chuckled.

"Yes, but I love them anyways," I chuckled as I watched them tackle each other in the middle of the Great Hall.

"Kick his ass, Al!" Malfoy cheered.

"Oi! Shut your Slytherin mouth!" I screamed as I stood on the bench and threw a turkey leg at him, hitting him square in the face.

Yes, I have a good throwing arm. I am multi-talented.

"You stupid mudblood!" he screamed.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Minnie shrieked.

"You're dead, Lemming!" James roared as he dove at Malfoy.

"Mr. Potter! Get off of Mr. Malfoy!" Minnie screamed.

"Get your facts straight before you insult someone you sod!" Heather yelled, "She's not muggleborn!"

"Shut up, Longbottom!" Malfoy retorted as he tried to shove James away. To no avail, since James got him in the jaw.

"Did, did he just tell you to shut up?" Frank asked huskily.

"I think he did," Heather said as she quirked an eyebrow.

"Longbottom him?" Frank smirked.

"Longbottom him," Heather smirked back as they both shoved away from the table faster than I could see and headed toward Malfoy.

"Wait! What is Longbottoming?!" Dom screeched worriedly.

See, she knew it meant something bad. Smart girl, that Dom Weasley.

"James, I can fight my own battles!" I yelled as I hopped off the bench and stormed over to him.

"Oh, sorry I was defending my girlfriend!" He yelled back at me.

He's hot when he's angry. And half naked. But I needed to focus.

Like really hot.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

"I don't want you getting in trouble for no reason, you sod!" I yelled as I pointed my finger in his face.

"I'm already in trouble anyways! What's another detention?!" He shrugged.

"You bloody moron," I huffed as I punched him in his bare arm.


"Nice arse by the way," I chuckled.

"Thanks. Wanna snog?"

"Sure," I shrugged.

Don't judge me.

You know if your totally gorgeous boyfriend was standing in front of you- practically naked, nonetheless- and asked you the same thing, you would be all over that.

"Get his legs!" I heard Frank yell.

"Everyone stop it! Someone bloody help me tame these children!" Minnie screamed.

Whatever. I was perfectly happy snogging James in the middle of the hall.

I got a detention for indecent behavior in public.

And it was totally worth it.

Chapter 16: Reason 16, Detention 28
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(A/N: I know alot of you were hoping to get a glimpse of the Scotts last chapter, but I promise they'll be ntroduced soon. Thank you to everyone for your awesome reviews, they mean so much! On a side note, this is a less happy chapter of Nikki. Everyone has their imperfections. Especially James and Nikki ^_^. Enjoy!)

"Nikki! Nik, guess what?!" James cheered happily as he practically skipped into the common room.

"Um, Malfoy came out of the closet?" I replied without looking up from my book.

"No! Better!"

"What on earth would be better than that?" I replied as I raised an eyebrow.

"This!" He laughed giddily as he shoved a paper in my face.

"James, I can't see it when it's plastered to my face," I snapped as I snatched it out of his hand.

I hate getting interrupted when doing schoolwork. James knows this. Especially when Sluggish gave us a God-awful six parchment assignment.

"Wood wants me to try out for the Cannons!" He grinned as he bounced in place.

Wood had left Puddlemere to become manager of the Cannons. Oh joy.

"Wait, what? When?" I exclaimed as I scanned his letter.

"Christmas break! Isn't that great!"


"Yeah, James, that's wonderful," I mumbled unhappily as I shoved his letter back to him and buried my nose in my Potions book.

"Wow, thanks for the support, Nik," He spat.

"James, I didn't-"

"Whatever, Nikole. I'm going for a walk," He growled as he stormed out of the common room.

"Oh, Christ Almighty," I heaved as I ran my hands through my hair.

"What's wrong with you?" Rose asked as she came down the stairs.

"Nothing. Just stressed," I lied again.

"You are a bad liar. You know this. But I'll leave it alone," She smiled warmly as she sat in an armchair, "That Potions homework is the devil."

"You think? I don't know why he hates us so damn much. Cranky old geezer."

"I broke up with Malfoy."

"WHAT?" I exclaimed as my eyes nearly popped out of my sockets. I actually dropped my book.

"He was driving me nuts. Did you know all he ever talked about was Quidditch?"

He's not the only one.

"...And if wasn't that, it was about how much he hates you. It was completely unnerving and I couldn't handle it anymore."

"He talked about how much he hated me?" I chuckled.

"Yeah. I think he secretly has a thing for you or something," she said with a roll of her eyes, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I just threw up a little in my mouth is all," I twitched, "Don't ever say anything like that to me again, please. My stomach can't handle it."

"Sorry," she giggled, "Alright, I'll talk to you later, I have to go meet Heather so we can work on Ancient Runes."

"Later, Rose," I smiled weakly as I waved to her.

I sighed heavily as I leaned down to grab my book, only to have someone beat me to it.

"Here you go, Nik."

"Thanks, Frank," I said as he handed it to me.

"No problem. Did you hear about James?"

'Keep it cool, Nik. Don't freak out.'

"Yeah," I nodded.

"He wanted that so bad, I'm happy for him," He smiled.

"It's a... great opportunity for him," I replied as I flipped through the pages, not even remembering what I was looking for.

"You don't like it," Frank smirked as he leaned back in the armchair.

"No, I... I'm... happy for him..."

"But you're not happy for you," He finished.

"As a matter of fact, Mr. Psychiatrist, I'm ecstatic," I snapped as I grabbed my things and sped up to my room, slamming my door behind me.

'Don't cry Nik. You don't cry. Ever. Don't let it get to you, you can't be selfish, it's what he wants more than anything, it's his dream, don't cry,' I told myself as I leaned on the closed door.

Yeah, my mantra did not work in the slightest.

"Where's that slimy git of yours?" Frank asked Rose as she and I sat down for dinner.

"I dunno," She shrugged, "We aren't together anymore. So I really don't care where he is."

"Seriously?" He chuckled.

"Yep. I broke up with him earlier. I can't be with someone who doesn't like the majority of my friends and family. So I dumped his arse," She said smugly.

I just sulked and poked at my food with my fork.

"Nikki-" Frank spoke up.

"I don't want to talk about it, Frank, so just shut your damn trap. Thanks," I snarled as I leaned my cheek on my fist.

"I just wanted to say sorry for earlier."

"Yeah, thanks," I huffed as I made shapes out of the corn kernels on my plate.

"Did you see Heather is sitting with Al?" Lily squealed as she sat down.

"I hope they get together," Dom giggled.

"He better watch himself with my sister, that's for damn sure," Frank chuckled.

"Who better watch himself?" James asked as he sat next to Frank.

Across from me. Next to Frank. On the other side of the bloody table. Away from me.

I just shot him a dirty look then glared at my plate again.

"Your brother," Frank replied.

"Ah," James said quietly.

"What's with you two?" Colin asked as he took to James' other side.

"Who?" Frank replied.

"These two," Colin answered as he pointed at James and I.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Col," James mumbled.

"Bollocks. Why aren't you over there, then?" Colin retorted as he pointed to the empty seat next to me.

Lucky the Leprechaun needs to learn to shut his mouth. I was practically denting my plate with my fork, I was dragging it so hard.

"Nik, you okay?" Rose whispered.


"You sure?"


"Okay," she said as she rubbed my shoulder.

I caught James glancing at me every now and again, but neither of us said a word to each other for the majority of dinner.

"Okay, I can't deal with this tension between the two of you. My hair is on ends waiting for Armageddon. I don't care if you go Gladiator on each other's arses, but say something, for Merlin's sake!" Fred spoke up as we started dessert.

"What's there to say," James shrugged, "I have an unsupportive girlfriend. End of story."

"Excuse me?!" I growled as I slammed my fork on the table, "I think I heard you wrong. And for your sake I hope I did."

"No, you most definitely heard me right. Un-su-por-tive girl-friend," He sneered as he pointed at me with every stressed syllable.

"Oh no," Rose whimpered.

"Fred, what have you done?" Lily whined.

"So that's how you wanna play this, eh Potter?" I chuckled half-crazed as bit the inside of my cheek, "Alright, we'll play your way. Yeah, first off- I NEVER FUCKING SAID I DIDN'T SUPPORT YOU!"





"DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME NIKOLE!" He screamed as he started to follow me.


"I SAID DON'T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME!" He growled as he grabbed my arm.

"LET GO OF MY ARM, YOU'RE HURTING ME!" I yelled as I punched him in the stomach.

He didn't flinch.

"I'm not done with you," He snarled, "So no, I will not let you go."


"Obey your elders," I growled as I tore my arm out of his grasp, "And don't fucking talk to me!"




"What are you talking about?!" James scoffed as he threw his arms in the air, "I'm not breaking up with you!"


"DETENTION, BOTH OF YOU, EIGHT O'CLOCK!" Minnie yelled as I turned my back to everyone in the hall and ran out the doors.

"Nikki, please!" James yelled as he ran after me.

I kept going.

He kept following.

"Nikki, come on, stop, please!"


"Nikki, just talk to me civilly for a second!"

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, POTTER!" I screamed as I finally reached the Fat Lady.

"Gillyweed," I muttered as I wrapped my arms around myself.

Stupid Herbology related passwords. That's what you get with Neville as the Head of your House.

"That is no longer the password," she replied snobbishly.

She's always hated me, the stupid fatty.

"How is it no longer the password?! I just used it three hours ago!" I screamed in her face.

"Because it's been changed. If you want it, ask a Prefect or Head of House," she huffed as she shoved her nose in the air.

"Fat bitch," I mumbled to myself.

"Marauders," James huffed as he caught his breath.

"Thank you," she replied, "And tell your little... friend... here to go take an anger potion."

"Fuck you!" I snapped.

"Come on, Nik," James said as he led me through the portrait hole.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled as I shook him off of me, "I am perfectly capable of getting inside by myself!"

"Nikki, can we please talk like normal people for a second?!" He pleaded as I headed to the staircase.

"What is there to talk about?!" I replied as a tear crept down my cheek.

I didn't dare face him. No one in that school has ever seen me cry. Ever. In fact, before that day, I hadn't cried in over four years.

"Just... come here," he said softly.

"No," I said shakily.

"Nik, are... are you... crying?" He asked worriedly as he set his hand on my shoulder

"No! Just leave me alone!" I cried as I shoved his hand away from me.

"I'm sorry," he said solemnly as he wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his cheek on the back of my head, "I'm so sorry,"

"Don't touch me!" I yelled as I tried to shake him off.

To no avail. James is alot stronger than me.


"No," he whispered as he spun me around and pulled me into his chest, "I won't let you go. Ever."

"I don't want to go through this! Why did I have to fall in love with you?!" I sobbed in his chest, "It's not fair! I don't want to be in love with you!"

"Shhh," he hushed as he ran his hand over my hair, "I'm right here."

"I fell in love with you, like an idiot! And I'm going to lose you!"

"You're never going to lose me Nik."

"But I am!" I sobbed harder, "I am, and there's nothing I can do about it! How could this happen to me?! How the bloody hell did I fall in love with you?!"

"Everything's going to be fine, Love," he sniffed as he buried his face in my hair, "I love you, Nikole. More than you know."

"I love you too. As much as I know better, I love you."

"Look at me," He said softly as he tilted my face up toward his, "I'm not going to leave you."

"Yes, you will."

"No, I won't," he whispered as he kissed me softly, "I won't."

Chapter 17: Reason 17, Detention 29 & 30
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It was a week later, and James and I were past the whole... incident. Sure I was still upset, but I can't be selfish. I knew how badly he wanted that. Rose had been happy, and spending alot of time with me again, which was totally awesome. We sat together for classes, since Heather and Al had to play footsie and all.

Okay, maybe they weren't playing footsie, but they were most definitely constantly flirting.

I am a genius. Admit it.

And best of all, Lemming Boy stayed far away. He wasn't even talking to Al anymore. Everything was going wonderfully.

But I still needed to get him for being a douche to my Rosie.

"Sodding git," Al grumbled as he sat down across from me at breakfast.

"Who do I need to reign fury down upon?"

"Lemming face," he heaved.

"What did he do now?" I laughed.

"He stole my assignments. All of them. Do you realize how much trouble I'm going to be in once they're due Monday?"

"Are you sure it was Malfoy?"

"Name one other person in my dorm who has a grudge against me, even if it is a retarded grudge," he said pointedly.

"Yeah, it was Lemming Boy," I chuckled, "Want me to Carrot him again?"

"As amazing as that would be," he laughed lightly, "No. I'll handle it."

"We could Longbottom him again," Frank smirked as he and Heather sat down.

"Again, that was amazingly epic, and I do believe he'll be scarred for life, but I need to deal with him once and for all."

I looked over to Heather to see her giving me the "I Have A Brilliant Idea, And We'll Talk About It Later" look I had grown quite fond of as of late.

"Jamesy, dear?" I said as he sat next to me.

"Yes, Nikki?" He replied as he raised an eyebrow at me, "What do you want now?"

"Do you want to help me with something later?"

"Depends on what it is. If it involves me being physically harmed in any way, then no," he chuckled.

"It won't. I promise," I smiled as widely as possible.

"You two are going to shag, aren't you?" Frank chuckled.

"FRANK SHUT UP! You're lucky Lils isn't around" James shushed.

"Oh right sorry."

"And no we are not," James said sternly.

"Oh my God. You two haven't...." and with that Frank started laughing so hard he actually fell off the bench.

"Shut up, you wanker," James huffed as he punched him in the leg.

He kept laughing.

"Someone want to tell me why Frank is dying?" Rose chuckled as she sat next to me.

"No reason," came James' quick reply.

"They... they haven't... done..." he choked out as he pointed to James and I.

"OH. That. I know," she laughed, "I already talked to Nik about that."

"ROSE!" I scolded.

"You didn't tell me she accosted you," James whispered.

"Yes, she did, and no, I don't want to talk about it," I whispered back.

"We need to have a chat, you and I," he told me with brow raised.

"Yeah, yeah, later," I waved him off.

"So, Rose."

No answer.

"Rose," I repeated.

Still nothing.

"EARTH TO ROSE!" I yelled as I spun around to see her staring off into space.

Staring at Frank like her life depended on it is probably a better way to put it.


"What?" She replied as she shook her hair out.

"What was THAT, eh?" I whispered.

"What was what, Nik."

"You know what."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," She said as she tried to suppress a smirk by taking a bite of her orange.

"Lies. You and I are going to have to discuss something after lunch. You hear me?"

"Sure, but I don't know what we have to talk about," she said as she awkwardly stifled a giggle.

"I love the weekends," Frank sighed as he regained his composure and sat back on the bench.

"Me too," Lily smiled as she sat on the other side of Rose.

"Hi Frankie!"

"Oh no. Someone hide me," he yelped as he tried to duck under the table.

And Rose experienced an eye twitch.

"It's a little too late for that, mate," James chuckled quietly, "She already saw you."

"Frankie what ever are you doing under the table?" Sinead squeaked.

"Trying to keep my dignity intact," he muttered.

"What?" She asked.

"I dropped, uh, my fork."

I just laughed at him.

"James, quick, throw my fork under the table," he whispered.

"Oh, you mean your fork that's sitting right here next to your plate?" James said louder than necessary.

"I hate you, Potter," Frank growled.

"What do you want Sinead?" Colin grumbled.

"Shut up Brother, this doesn't concern you," she snapped in her mousy voice.

I swear she has the least intimidating voice on the planet. That cartoon or whatever mouse is more intimidating.

Of course her face is enough to scar a small child. It looks like a crime scene.

"Go away, Sinead. You make my brain twitch," Colin retorted.

"Go blow yourself up," she squeaked as she stormed away.

"Colin, mate, you are my hero," Frank said as he actually hugged him.

"Please don't turn into a poof on me, I'd hate to have to switch dorms," Colin laughed as he shoved Frank away.

"If that day comes, I'll be right behind you Colin," James laughed.

"If what day comes?"

"Teddy!" Lily screeched as she hopped off the bench and practically knocked him down.

"Hey, Lils," He chuckled as he steadied himself.

"Teddy, mate, what are you doing here?" James grinned as he stood up and hugged his "adopted" brother who decided to sport blue hair today.

No bloke should look that good with blue hair.

"Checking up on you lot, what do you think?" He laughed.

Oh, Teddy Lupin, you sod. Why must you be oh-so-amazingly gorgeous and unattainable at the same time?

Not that I would, you know, try anything.

Don't look at me like that, I'm not lying.

Too much.

Okay, maybe I am.


"Huh?" I replied.

"I asked how you were," Teddy chuckled as he squeezed between Rose and I.


"Um, great. Couldn't be... em... better," I said as I cleared my throat.

"I hear two are finally bloody together," He smirked as he pointed to James and I, "Which is great, because it was a right mess and driving us all nutters.

"Yes we are," James said happily as he slung his arm around my shoulder and kissed the side of my head.

"Good," he laughed as he stole a roll off my plate.

Bastard actually stole MY food.


"Yes, Nikki?" He smiled brilliantly.

And made me forget why I was angry.

Until I saw him take a bite out of MY roll.

"Mine, you bastard," I growled as I tore it out of his hand.

"Whoa, getting a little hostile there," He laughed.

"Never, NEVER, should you steal Nikki's food, Teddy. EVER," James chuckled.

"I'll remember that next time," He laughed again, "And Nik, I could have cooties, you know."

"Shut your trap," I mumbled as I finished the roll.

Your ridiculously sexy trap.

He needs to seriously go away.

Nikki is having impure thoughts.

Teddy Lupin must vacate the premises, immediately.


"Love, you alright?" James whispered, "You seem a bit... off."

"Fine, what ever would be wrong?" I replied a little TOO happily.

"Are you fawning over Teddy again?" He laughed quietly.

"No! Never. What makes you think I would do that?" I said quickly.

"Because you do every time, Love," he chuckled.

"I do not," I growled.

"Oh great, another member of the Potter clan," Malfoy sneered as he walked by.

"Not a Potter," Teddy corrected with a smirk, "Lupin."

"Go away, Malfoy," Rose frowned as he walked away.

"Oh come on, he can't be that bad," Teddy defended, "He's not his dad."

"No, he's bloody worse," Al muttered.

"Eh?" Teddy piqued.

"He stole my bloody homework," Al answered.

"Wow, what a git. We should prank him while I'm here."


"You would seriously do that?" Al said giddily.

"Sure, I have nothing better to do today, Vic is out of town," he snickered as he shuffled and nudged me, "Sorry Nik."


I was so not internally freaking out I swear. It's not like there's a complete fitty sitting next to me who just emanates his hottness.

Oh my god, I sound like an over-obsessive fangirl.


Even Heather was staring at him. I'm not alone.

He should be banished. From existence. Damn Blue-haired, blue-eyed, Sex God.

"I'm going to go say hello to Hagrid, what's the password again?" He asked as he looked at Rose, who in turn whispered to him, "Okay, I'll see you all in the Common Room later."

"Bye Teddy!" Nearly half the table said in unison.

Thank you Merlin, he went away.

You know, if James was a smart boy, he would take advantage of my extreme moments of weakness.

But alas, James is not a smart boy.

"Nik, you want to get out of here?" He whispered.

"Um... yeah. Yeah let's go, I'm full," I replied.

"Later guys," James waved as he took my hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked as we walked into the Entrance Hall.

"I don't quite know yet," he chuckled as he dragged me down the hall.

"Okaaaay, well what are we..."

"Come on," he grinned as he opened a door, "Get in."

"James, what the bloody hell did I tell you? No more broom closets!"

"Nikole. Get in. Now," he demanded.

"Fine, going, going," I mumbled as I walked in and he followed behind me, shutting the door.

"Why are we in here?"

Yeah, my question was quickly answered when his lips crashed onto mine.

"James, what are you doing?" I huffed as I shoved him off of me.

"Um, well, I was TRYING to snog my girlfriend," he laughed.

"In a broom closet?"

"Yeah. We can't very well go in the common room. Or my room. Lunch is almost over," He said as lifted me up and sat me on what I assumed was a crate and placed his hands on mine.

Okay, not only could I not say no, no way in hell did I want to. AT ALL.

"Alright, but I'm not going to have sex with you. I don't really want our first shag to be in a broom closet,"

"Neither do I, I'm not Al," he chuckled as he kissed my throat.

"WAIT HOLD UP!" I shouted.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" He asked worriedly as he took my hands in his again.

"No, but how the bloody hell did you get so damn good at seducing me so fast?! Neither of us knows what we're doing!"

"I was just going with the moment, really," he chuckled lightly as he put his hands around my waist.

"Oh, well in that case, do continue," I said as I pulled his face to mine.

I swear to Merlin, James Sirius Potter is the best kisser on the face of this planet.

So what if I've only ever kissed one other boy who just so happened to be Saliva Central?

James wins. Forever. End of story.

Don't fight with me, you will not win.

"Oh my God, why didn't we do this sooner?" I muttered as he kissed my neck again.

"Nik," he whispered into my ear.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Shut up," he chuckled as he lightly bit my ear.

I seriously shuddered from head to toe.

If I knew it was like this, I would have jumped him bloody ages ago.

"This has to go," I growled as I tore his shirt over his head and ran my hands up and down his bare chest.

Body of a GOD, that James Potter has. And I get to put my hands ALL over it. Take that fangirls.

And if I didn't know any better, I would say James was lying and had most DEFINITELY done this before.

"I love you, Nikki," he said lightly as he kissed me and started unbuttoning my shirt.

"I love you, James," I whispered as I kissed his throat.

"Good," he whispered with a smile as his hands explored any part of my body they could find.

Which drove me even more wild, and trying to hold in a shriek I may have bit him.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, NIK," he shuddered.

"Sorry," I chucked.

"That wasn't a bad holy shit," he heaved, "That was a 'Don't stop what you're doing' holy fucking shit."

"Oh, well in that case," I smirked as I bit his neck again.

"Oh my fucking God," he moaned, "Merlin, I want you so bad right now," he said as he shoved me against the wall, pushing his hips into mine as our lips moved in perfect motion.

Just then, the door flung open.

"What in Merlin's name is going on in here!"

"Shit!" I yelled as I closed my shirt and James pulled my skirt back down and stood up straight.

"Detention, both of you! Eight o'clock!" Neville shouted, "My God, couldn't you at least do that in your room Potter?! Closets are not for shagging! Fix yourselves and get out! I don't want to catch either of you in one again, do you hear me?! You're lucky I'm not going to tell your parents!"

"Yes Professor," we replied in unison as I hopped down to smoothen out my clothes and James threw his shirt on.

"Kids these days," Neville muttered with a roll of his eyes as he walked away.

"How did we not get sent to Minnie? Or parental conferences?" James smirked as he leaned down to kiss me.

"Because we would have gotten points taken away, and Slytherin is only twenty behind us. You really think Neville wants to lose to Sluggy?"

"Oh, right," he smiled," Ladies first."


"Yes Nik?" He grinned.

"I swear to Christ, if you make me wait too long to get that again, I'll murder you in your sleep."

"Don't worry, Love, you won't be waiting long at all," he laughed heartily as he took my hand and we walked back to the common room.

Guess James is a smart boy after all.

"Where have YOU two been?" Heather smirked as she crossed her arms and James and I came stumbling into the common room.

"Went for a walk," James grinned.

"What he said," I laughed.

"LIES," She chuckled as she pointed at us, "FRANK! AL! ROSE!"

"No, Heather, please don't!" I pleaded as I threw my hands up defensively.

"Yes?" Rose replied with a smile as she skipped down the stairs.

"WHAT NOW HEATHER?" Frank and Al yelled from where they were playing chess across the room.



"Your appearance says differently," Teddy chuckled as he walked down the stairs with Fred.

"Shut up, Lupin," I muttered as I fixed my hair.

"We did not have sex," James said sternly.

"You did something," Al chortled, "Congrats James, didn't think you had it in you. I knew Nik did, but not you."

"I will kill you," James threatened Al.

"Okay, let's stay on topic here people," Teddy chuckled.

Why is it I just had the most amazing sexual experience of my life thus far- a.k.a. the ONLY sexual experience thus far- yet Teddy STILL has the power to make me want it all over again?


I don't want to be one of those nymphomaniacs or whatever they are!

"Come on, Love," James chuckled as he pulled me over to the couch and sat me on his lap.

He must have seen the evil glare I was giving Teddy.

And James' lap is the LAST place I should be sitting right now. Especially after our little escapade PLUS having Sex God in the same room as me.

I might jump my boyfriend in front of everyone.

That would be bad.

For them at least.

"What does 'on topic' refer to, precisely," James asked as he laced his fingers with mine.

"Malfoy," Al smirked, "Tell 'em, Heather."

"So, you guys know Dad is like, a fucking Herbology maniac..."

"Duh," we replied.

"Shuddup. So he has this bad habit of buying ANY kind of herbal medicine- Muggle or not- that he can get his hands on. If it has a plant in it, Daddy has it. Well, I am quite fond of this one, it's American..."

"Oh Christ," I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up Nikki, I swear to Merlin," she threatened, "It's called IcyHot, and it's really good for torn muscles and things like that, first it cools it to numb the pain, then heats up to reduce the tension."

"What does this have to do with Malfoy?" Teddy piqued.

"Frank, why don't you tell them the story of what you did with it, it's kind of disturbing if I tell it," Heather chuckled.

"Do I have to?" He winced at what I'm assuming was a very bad memory.

"Tell, Frank. Now," she demanded.

"Okay well. God, I should not be saying this out loud, but well, Heather was ranting and raving about how good it felt on her strained muscles, and well, I kinda-sorta thought, 'I wonder if it'll feel that great somewhere else'..."

"Oh my God," Rose giggled as she covered her mouth.

"Yeah, it didn't feel good. At all," he shuddered, "First it fucking froze, and then it felt like it was on fire. I can't even look at the shit anymore."

We all just burst out laughing at him.

"Shut up you sods! It wasn't funny!" He grumbled.

"Actually, that's pretty hilarious," Teddy laughed.

"I know right?" Heather snickered, "So anyways, we need to sneak some into Malfoy's knickers."

"Oh my God, that is ingenious!" Fred laughed.

"That actually is," Al chuckled.

"Go get it Heather," I smirked.

"Gotcha," she grinned as she ran up to our dorm.

"Al, you have to do it," I told him.

"Why me?!" He whined.

"Because, you thickheaded poof, you're the only Slytherin we talk to. That and you're in his bloody dorm. So when he falls asleep tonight, you know what to do," James laughed.

"Fine, I'll do it. Arse did steal my work after all," He shrugged.

"Here Al," Heather smirked as she handed him the plastic white tube.

"This is all it is?" He asked as he looked it over.

"Yes, Al. Just... don't experiment. It'll end badly, I promise you," Frank winced.

"Believe me, I won't," Al chuckled, "You ready to finish that game, Frank?"

"Bring it on, sod-face," he grinned as they went back to their chess.

"So Teddy," James started, "Where is Vic?"

Stupid, stupid James. I had completely forgotten Teddy was there for a minute. I'm going to kill James Sirius Potter.

"She went to France with her Mum," Teddy smiled.

Damn Sex God and his heavenly smile.

I think he was put on this earth to torment me.

I must have been a Communist in a past life to endure this kind of punishment.

"When are you two tying the knot?" Lily asked sweetly.

I am going to kill Lily. And if Teddy answers that in a way that displeases me, I'll kill him to.

I can't stare at a married man.

I'll be put in Azkaban for life. Because I'll have murdered two, NO three people. I'll have to kill Victoire too.

"Not anytime soon, Lil. Vic is busy opening her shop, and I'm supposed to go visit your Uncle Charlie over the summer," he chuckled.

Good answer, Lupin. I'm not ready to go to Azkaban just yet.

"I wish it would be soon," Lily pouted.

Shut up Potter girl.

"What are you thinking about, with a terrible scowl like that on your face?" James whispered with a chuckle.

"I didn't realize I was scowling," I laughed, "Can we get out of here?"

"Sure, come on to my room?"

"You got Snap up there, yeah?"

"I do M'Love."

"Let's go play. I'm going to kick your arse," I grinned as I ran up the stairs ahead of him.

Let me tell you, nothing is better than watching Malfoy whine like a bitch and squirm in his seat all day wondering why his bollocks felt like they were on fire.

He finally realized that Al, Heather, and I had something to do with it when he saw that we snickered at him the entire time.

Heather got two detentions for providing it and bringing up the idea.

I got one for going along with it.

Al got a week for actually going through with it.

Chapter 19: Reason 19, Detention 32
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A/N: Okay so three things I think y'all should know.
1. This is the last detention causing chapter.
2. There are only 3 chapters left after this.
3. There will be a sequel, and I've already started it. ^_^
Enjoy everyone! It's a very busy chapter. xD

"You ready for the match?" Rose asked as we sat down for breakfast.

"Of course I am," I laughed as I grabbed a muffin, "I'm always ready to kick some Ravenclaw arse."

"You'd better be" James chuckled.

"Or else what?"

"Or else no fun Christmas for you," he said with a nod.

"Well that's just not fair!" I whined.

"Well, you'd better beat them down, then," He grinned.

"Todger," I grumbled under my breath.

"I'm sorry, what was that last thing?" He grinned as he raised an eyebrow.

"I said cupcake. I want one," I replied with a nod.

"Cupcake sounds nothing like todg-"

"Rose. Hair. Snip-snip," I warned with a glare.

"I mean, it sounds exactly like cupcake. No difference at all in those two words," she said quickly as she shoved her nose back in her Daily Prophet.

"Nik, your daft family owl ran into the window again," Heather said grumpily as she tossed a letter at me and slouched into her seat.

I went ahead and assumed Donkey woke her up.

Yes, our owl's name is Donkey.

I was bored and it sounded like a good name at the time.

I was ten.

Don't judge me.

"Who's it from?" James asked nosily.

"Ugh. My Mum. Bollocks," I grumbled as I tore it open.

"What does that hot Mum of yours want?" Al chuckled.

"I swear to Merlin, Albus Severus Potter, if you call my Mum hot one more time, I'll choke you with James' dirty socks," I sighed as I scanned the letter, "Oh bloody hell! Who wants to take me in for the holidays?!"

"Why this time?" Rose laughed with a roll of her eyes.

"Because my tetch of a brother is coming home," I whined as I slammed hy forehead on the table.

"Tommy or Ben?" Al asked.

"Well both. But I actually like Ben," I groaned.

Yes. I have siblings. Just the two. One of whom I am 100% positive is the Anti-Christ. Quite possibly worse, even.

"Why is that bad?" Heather asked as she shoved a piece of toast in her mouth.

"Thomas is the definition of douchebag," Rose answered.

"Oh come on, Tommy is not that bad," James snickered.

"Excuse me?" I snapped.

"He's not that bad, Nik. I mean, sure, he's a bit of an arsehole, but who isn't?"

"A BIT?" Rose chuckled, "He's the biggest prick I've ever met, and we're related to Louis. Although your brother is quite the fitty, Nik. Well, both of them."

"Oi! Will you tossers stop calling my family hot?!"

"But your Dad, there's the cream of the crop. I mean, really, have any of you seen those arms?"

"Dom shut up! I swear I will yak all over the lot of you!" I retched.

"Her Mum still wins," Al snickered.


"Why are you gonna vomit now, Nikster?"

"Oh my god, BEN!" I squealed as I jumped out of my seat and basically pounced on him.

"Whoa, take it easy there, Quidditch star," he chuckled, "You have to beat the smart-arses today."

"What are you doing here?!" I screeched happily.

"Watching my favorite little sister beat the pulp out of the Ravenclaws. Because they're twits. How's it, James?" He smiled as he sat down.

"Good," James grinned, "And yourself, mate?"

"Great," Ben smiled, "Is Chang still here?"

"Yes," I grumbled, "The stupid todger."

"Blimey, I hate that kid," Ben chuckled with a shake of his head, "Such a little bastard. So, Nikles, Mum and Dad tell me you and James are finally together. And by Mum and Dad, I mean just Mum."

"Merlin, can't that woman keep anything to herself?" I sighed.

"Nope," Ben chuckled, "Oh, and I should probably pass Tommy's love on to you like he asked."

"Why is he bloody home already?! And no you shouldn't. Tell him I said to take his love and stick it op his-"

"Nikki, that's not very nice," Heather piped up.

"You haven't met him," I glared, "Who's he bringing for dinner this year?"

"I dunno. Pretty sure he's been playing 'Hide the Hooker' in his room though. Again."

"I like the sound of that game," Frank chortled.

"Yeah you would," Heather snapped.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Gryffies."

"Teddy, mate! What are you doing here?" James grinned.

"Quidditch match against Ravenclaw is today, yeah?"

"Yes," half the male population of the table answered.

We females were too busy gawking.

I was ogling Teddy, surprise there, I know, but to my utter horror, it seemed the rest of them couldn't decide whether to stare at Lupin, or my brother.

Fuck my life.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Teddy Lupin. It's been a while," Ben smiled.

"Benjamin bloody Scott, I can't believe it," Teddy chuckled as he embraced my brother.

Female jaws hung open all around the hall.

I repeat- fuck my life.

I just slammed my head on the table again.

"What's the matter, Nins?" Ben whispered.

"I'm going to Avada myself now, if you don't mind," I grumbled into the wood grain.

"Please don't, Nik," James sighed, "We kind of need our Seeker. Save it for after the game, yeah?"

"And... uh.... I think Mum and Dad'll be upset if they... show up today... for no reason," Ben chuckled nervously as he scratched his neck.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?" I growled as I slowly sat up and scowled at him.

"Nothing," he said warily as he shook his head, stole an orange slice off my plate, and shoved it in his mouth, "I definitely did not just say that our parents are coming to watch you play."

"You're lucky you're my favorite, otherwise I'd be tearing you apart limb from limb right now," I seethed, "Why can't they wait a few bloody days to-"

"There's my baby girl!"

"Someone kill me now, before I assassinate myself!" I panicked as I held a spoon to my forehead.

"You're supposed to eat with that, Sweetie," Dad laughed as he kissed the top of my head and took the spoon from me, setting it on the table.

"Yeah, thanks for that one, Dad," I sighed.

"Nik, your eye is twitching again," Fred piped up.

"Weasley, shut your sodding trap before I glue it shut," I sneered.

"Nikole Elexis Scott! Language please!"

There should be a rule- No parents allowed in the castle. Ever.

"I hate you, Ben," I whispered angrily, "You could've warned me a little sooner so I would've had time to run and hide!"

"Come give your old man a hug," Dad beamed as he picked me up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Dad, people are watching," I huffed.

"Nikki, dear, the ends of your hair are so frayed. You're getting a haircut, Missy," Mum sighed as she hugged me.

"Mummy, my hair is fine, please-"

"James, my boy, being good to my little girl I hope," Dad smiled as he shook James' hand.

"I think you should ask her if she's being good to me and not trying to murder me in my sleep," James laughed.

"He's got a point Jonathan," Mum chuckled.

"I s'pose he does, Lydea," Dad grinned as he mussed my hair, "She always was a tough little thing. My third boy."

"Dad, please sto-"

"Are your parents coming too, James? I'd like to talk to your Mother about something," Mum smiled knowingly.

My eyes widened in horror.

Mum wanting to talk to Mrs. Potter meant only one thing- discussing mine and James' future.

She's been trying to plan our wedding for three years.

"Lie!" I mouthed to James, "LIE!"

"As far as I know, they are, Mrs. Scott," James replied.

"Mutiny!" I yelled as I pointed at him, "You mutinous bastard I should ruddy well kill you!"

"Nikole, language!" Mum scolded.

"Please don't hurt me!" James winced.

"I don't see any pirates," Dad said, looking around as if there were indeed Pirates.

Ben just shook his head and laughed as he helped himself to my plate.

"Favorite brother or not, Ben, you are dead," I growled.

"Dead as in failed O.W.L. dead or-"

"No. Murder. Assassination. Man-slaughter. Roadkill. Homocide. That kind of dead, got it?"

"Empty threats, Nikles," he laughed, "Empty threats."

I glared at him and hit him over the top of the head with a spare plate.

"Ow!" Ben cried as he rubbed his head.

"Nikole Elexis!" Mum scolded.

"Don't push your luck, Nikki," Dad chuckled loudly.

"Go away!" I whined as I sank into my seat and slammed my forehead in my hands.

"Mummy!" Lily screeched.

"Great. Consider today to be made of full blown suckage," I groaned.

"Oh, my little girl!" Mrs. Potter cried as she wrapped her arms around the bouncing teenager.

"James, Albus," Mr. Potter grinned at his boys.

"Hey Dad," They smiled in unison.

"Get over here and hug your Mother you two," Ginny scolded as she glared at them, "Right now."

"Hello, Nikki," Mr. Potter chuckled as his disgruntled sons made their way over to their Mother, "All set for a win today, yeah?"

"You bet," I smirked.

I've always been pretty fond of Harry. He's the more laid back of the Potter parents. I think that's where James gets it.

Mrs. Potter, however, is not all to fond of me. I mean, I did supposedly sexually corrupt her baby boy. Oh no, Gin-gin is not fond of me in the slightest bit.

"Nikole, I take it you've been well," She smiled curtly.

It doesn't take a genius to see that what she really meant was "I see your having fun stealing my firstborn's virtue and things of the such, you are going to hell."

"Yes Ma'am," I smiled sweetly.

Have I mentioned that I hate having to be a complete suck-up? Because I loathe it.

"Ma'am?" Ben snorted quietly.

I just elbowed him in the rib.

"Ungh," He grunted, "Bitch."

"Slag," I spat back.

"Only on the weekends," he smirked.

"Ew," I grimaced, "Thanks for that mental image."

"Anytime Nikles, anytime," he chuckled as he ruffled my hair.

"I hear your son is up for a tryout?" Mum said to Mrs. Potter.

"Yes!" She replied excitedly, "Of course look at his Father."

"And his Mother," Mr. Potter interjected with a grin.

"Oh stop it, Harry," Ginny waved him off, "And Albus is planning on going for Auror."

"Mum! You weren't supposed to talk about that!" he hissed, "For fuck's sake..."

"Hush, you," she pointed at him and then turned back to my Mum, "And Lily's not sure, but she has two years yet. How about yours?"

"Well, as you know, Ben is in Muggle Secondary teaching, History still-"

"Way to talk about me like I'm not even sitting right here," he rolled his eyes.

"Thomas is a bit of a bother at the moment, though," she continued, "Just moved back in-"

"And the prodigal son returns, dragging his manky hookers with him," Ben muttered.

"Benjamin!" Mum shouted as she smacked him in the back of the head, "There are children around! Is that how you talk at school?"

"Mum, the children these days use worse words then me. Like this one lad, Jake..."

"And Nikole," Mum interuppted, and Ben scowled in response, "Is going for Primary, aren't you, Dear?"

"Mum, that isn't even quite set in stone yet," I mumbled.

"Why not? You have wonderful grades, you'll make it without a problem," She rolled her eyes.

"Nikki? Teaching? Children? Small children? God rest their poor, tetchy, little souls," Heather shook her head.

"You didn't tell me that," James whispered in my ear.

"It's not definite, James," I sighed.

"Well, it would be nice to know what my girlfriend wants to do with her life and all, wouldn't it?" He shrugged.

"Let's just get the game over with and we'll talk about it, yeah?" I nodded.

"Sounds like a plan," He smiled as he kissed the top of my head.

"Nik you did it!" Ben cheered as he ran on to the pitch and picked me up in a hug, "Never mess with a Scott."

"Ben, you're crushing my lungs," I gasped.

"Sorry, he chuckled as he set me down, "Twenty minutes and you had it, I swear that has to be a bloody record!"

"Stupid little slag," the distinct voice of Taka rang as he shoved past me.

"Oi! What did you just call my sister, you prick?" Ben shouted as he pushed him.

"I called her," Taka growled as he shoved him back, "A stupid. Little. Slag."

"That is it," Ben snarled as he tackled him to the ground.

"BENJAMIN! Get off of him!" Mum screeched from the stands.

"Ben, listen to your Mother!" Dad yelled as he ran down the stairs.

"Eh," James nodded to Taka as he stood up and regained his ground.

"What?" He snapped back.

And James decked him right in the face.

"No one calls my girlfriend a slag, you little piss," James shouted.

Before you knew it, the Gryffindor team was at physical war with the Ravenclaw team. Well, that and Ben, James, Teddy, Al, Heather, Colin, and Frank were having a good old time against Taka and his cronies. All while Dad, Neville, Harry, and Ginny were trying to pull their children off of whoever they were pummelling and Mum cried from the sidelines.

"ORDER!" McGongall screamed from the box, to no avail whatsoever.

"Ben, let it go!" Dad yelled as he finally got him off of Taka, "Get it together, Son. Come off it."

How I got through that completely unscathed is beyond me.

"CUT IT OUT!" Rose screeched higher than even my Mum could manage, "For Merlin's sake!"

And suprisingly, it worked.

At least until Taka tried to set a hex on my brother, only to have said it wrong and set flames to the grass instead.

I mean really, REALLY big flames.

Like, pissing humungous.

"Aguamenti!" Rose and I shouted at the same time.

"Back to your Common Rooms, all of you!" McGonagall scolded, "Not you Miss Scott. And thank you Miss Weasley."

"You alright, yeah?" James grinned as he wiped the blood off his lip with the back of his hand.

"I got it sorted, go before you get in more trouble," I nodded.

"Miss Scott, I would like to speak with you."

"Yes, Professor?" I asked as I stepped over to her.

"I would like to tell you I am proud of you for staying out of the fight. You've never been one to pass things like that up-"

"Well, didn't want to steal the teams shining moment," I chuckled.

"And furthermore, that charm you just performed was executed perfectly. You and Miss Weasley managed to quench the entire thing by yourselves. Very well done, my dear," She said with a hint of a smile.

"Thanks," I replied, completely bewildered.

"Oh and one more thing," She said in a hushed tone, "Thank you for beating them. Professor Chang gets unbearable about it, and I would not be able to make it through the upcoming month without wanting to personally strangle her. That was fantastic snitch-catching. Keep up the good work," She nodded with a full blown smirk and walked off, "Oh, and I do have to issue a detention, as it was the whole team," She called back with a light smile, "7 p.m. Tranfiguration Classrom."

"Blimey," I mumbled as I stood there in shock that Minnie had not only complimented me on one thing, but three. All in under a minute. And on top of that, she had just said something violent. About another teacher.

I may have had a slight heart attack.