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Life... According to James Potter by CheleCooke

Format: Novella
Chapters: 6
Word Count: 14,002
Status: WIP

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Contains Spoilers

Genres: General, Humor, Action/Adventure
Characters: Teddy, Albus, James (II), Lily (II), OtherCanon

First Published: 09/17/2008
Last Chapter: 01/07/2009
Last Updated: 01/07/2009


Life should not be lived in the shadows of others, but in the constant search for the sun.

To James Potter, life is all about Hogwarts. It’s a chance to be with his friends, play Quidditch, and make trouble without getting in any… but he’s restless.
Determined to stand out from his family, James resolves to do something truly memorable… only, he has no idea what.

Chapter 1: The Annoyance of Younger Sisters
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Chapter One

The Annoyance of Younger Sisters.

“Squib, squib, squib…”

“I am not!”

“Squib, squib, squib…”

“Not, not, not… DADDY!”

“James, pack it in!”

James looked up from his cereal in disbelief. Scowling across the table, he glared at Lily, who stuck her tongue out as soon as their father turned his head to turn the page of the Daily Prophet.

James Sirius Potter, in short, could not wait the few hours before he would be on the train back to Hogwarts. It wasn’t that he disliked his family, in fact, he liked his parents very much, he could even get along with Albus for nearly fifteen minutes at a time now that they were both over the age of ten and Albus knew how to take a joke. The problem, at home, was Lily. Lily Luna Potter… Who, as the only girl, and the youngest, was the most infuriating person on the planet!

While at home over the summer holidays, James had quickly learnt the problem with being the eldest child, and therefore attending Hogwarts first. His sister spent the entire year with their parents, and therefore, knew the ways to get James into trouble. More so, he’d learnt the two most evil and over used words in both the Muggle and Wizarding dictionaries… Mummy, and Daddy. It seemed, these days that all Lily had to do was shout either of these words, and four words would be instantly directed at him… “James, pack it in!”

He was longing to discover how these words worked, as it seemed when he said them, all he got was a roll of eyes and a patronising tone as he was told to leave his sister alone, she was younger than him, after all. They didn’t even seem to work for Albus. In fact, James was beginning to seriously believe that they didn’t work for boys at all. It was a female secret against boys… he’d have to find the precious key words that worked against girls!

“Is that from your girlfriend?” Lily asked in a sing song voice, reaching across the table and trying to grab the letter that James had laid next to his cereal bowl. Slamming his hand down onto the letter, James glared at his cereal, but tried not to snap back at her to mind her own business. It would only lead to the uttering of the evil word. Only a few hours to go. A few hours and he’d be safe… or at least, Lily wouldn’t.

James had been longing for this moment since about a week after he returned from Hogwarts for the first time. As a Hogwarts student, James was expected to be mature, and not fight with Albus and Lily. When Albus came to Hogwarts, it solved half the problem, but unfortunately, the other half became twice as annoying, and twice as hard to defeat, though, from the look on Albus’s face over the summer, he was missing Hogwarts nearly as much as James was.

Soon, Lily would be on the train with them to Hogwarts, and every table would turn. No more running to mummy or daddy when she didn’t get her way, no more calling on them as soon as James said a bad word or tried to ignore her. James and Albus were the well known ones at Hogwarts, Lily was… well, their brat sister. It was going to be awesome!

“James has got a girlfriend, James has got a girlfriend,” Lily began singing quietly, rocking her head from side to side.

“Oh, so I’ll tell Teddy he should put on a pink dress and change his hair then should I Lil’?” James snapped back, waving the letter in front of her.

Albus snorted into his juice. Lily, however, pouted.

“A letter from Teddy?” she asked, looking nervously to her father and James knew that the cogs were turning in that annoying little head of hers. Did she dare use the Daddy card again so soon? “Well, let me read it!”

“No!” James answered with satisfaction.

“James…” Lily whined. “He’s my God brother too.”

“But the letter’s to me…” James answered, mimicking her whining tone, continuing with what he knew would come next. “Daddy, James won’t let me read his letter.”

“It’s James’s letter, Lil’, let him read it,” their father answered absently as he got up from the table and walked away into the hallway.

Pumpkin juice came out of Albus’s nose, James roared with laughter, and Lily ran off to find their mother.

“So, what’s Teddy got to say?” Albus asked, wiping the juice away from his nose with his hand.

“Not a lot, just that he’s got back from Greece and may come up for the Hogsmeade visit,” James explained with a shrug.

“Awesome!” Albus answered, picking up his spoon again. “How long do you think it’ll be before Lily writes home because she can’t come to the village?”

“Are you kidding?” James asked, looking at his younger brother with a wicked grin. “I think the letter’s already packed in her trunk.”

“James, what’s this about you not letting Lily read a letter from Teddy?” his mother asked, coming into the kitchen and glaring at James in a way that was almost spookily like Grandma Weasley when James and Albus had traipsed mud through the kitchen after playing Quidditch.

James looked to Albus with a look that said ‘I’m going to make her life hell’ before holding up the letter and turning back to his mother.

“IT’S TO ME!” He shouted, knowing Lily was probably hiding around the corner waiting for James to get an earful. 

With a huff, Ginny Potter rolled her eyes and left the kitchen, her voice echoing back to her two boys.

“I want those trunks downstairs in ten minutes!”

After finishing his breakfast, James made his way up into his bedroom and made sure he had everything. He checked in his wardrobe and under his bed, he looked on the windowsill and behind the chest of drawers. He even glanced through Albus’s bedroom door to make sure there was nothing obviously his in there. When he could see that he hadn’t left anything vitally important, he was satisfied and began dragging his trunk down the stairs, the end bumping with every step.

Finally depositing it at the bottom of the stairs, he had a sudden thought and opened the trunk, quite a few items almost soaring from inside like they’d been thrown at a trampoline. After quickly checking the secret compartment of his trunk Teddy had helped him make, for the Maurader’s map and his other items he’d be told off for having, James gathered up the flying objects and placed them back in his trunk, holding them down just long enough to get the lid almost shut before he pulled his hand out and slammed the top down. Perfect. He was ready.

Albus was the next ready, holding his trunk by one end and pushing it down the stairs, gripping one handle with both hands so that it didn’t slip. He made it most of the way, but about five steps from the bottom, he lost his grip and his trunk slid the rest of the way and hit James’s with a crash. At the bottom of the stairs, Albus and James cringed and waited for what they both knew was coming. Sure enough, before James had even reached the usual count to five it took for these things to happen, he heard the thundering footsteps and the second scariest voice in the world rang out. (Second only because Grandma Weasley was much more terrifying as she had a little more girth to put behind the shouting.)

“How many times have I told you two to be careful when taking those things downstairs?” their mother snapped accusingly down the stairs.

“Sorry mum,” the boys chorused back to her.

“Get those out to the car, please boys,” she continued; her voice a little softer. “Harry, are you ready?”

“Yes, Gin’,” their father’s voice came from his office at the back of the house before he appeared, the Daily Prophet still clutched in his hand.

It was lucky their father had been able to get the morning off. Usually, he was out of the house by eight thirty in the morning, and only just got back in for dinner… and that was when he didn’t have to cover a night shift. James supposed Head of the Aurors was a very busy job. He’d definitely not go in for that one when he was older.

Giving James and Albus a wink, Harry flicked his wand and the two trunks rose into the air, floating happily through the front door and down the path. James grinned widely at Albus and accepted the Daily Prophet from his father with one hand, his other holding his barn owl Barnaby’s cage, turning instantly to the back pages for the recent Quidditch results.

Sitting in the back of the car side by side, Barnaby held on the floor between James’s legs, Zulu held between Albus’s, James and Albus held the paper between them, both reading through the Quidditch scores. James had to quell a ‘whoop’ of excitement as he saw that the Tornadoes had won their latest match. He knew his uncle Ron would never forgive him if he found out that James didn’t support the Chudley Cannons, but actually supported the more popular Tornadoes; and if Lily found out, it was only a matter of minutes before uncle Ron would know… even if he was in a different country, Lily would find a way.

They were only running five minutes late by the time their dad finally hovered Lily’s trunk to the car and closed the boot. Climbing in next to Albus, Lily buckled herself in and settled Mazey, her new cat currently in his basket on her lap, instantly leaned over and tried to look at the paper too, even though she didn’t actually like Quidditch that much.

James shook his head and pushed the paper across Albus’s lap to her, but, as predicted, within moments, she’d abandoned it and was watching the countryside pass by as they drove towards London. Luckily, Lily couldn’t annoy James anymore.

He was finally on his way back to Hogwarts!

Author Note:

Hey Guys.
This is my first Next Gen fic that actually focus's on the people most people focus on when writing Next Gen fics. (My others are about criminals and Azkaban and things like that. lol) Anyway, I'm still not really focusing on the person most people go for, seeing as they usually go for Albus. Anyway, rambling.
Seeing as this is my first Next Gen story, can you please be kind enough to review and tell me how I'm doing?



Chapter 2: Friends, Wheezes, and Copied Essays
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Chapter Two

Friends, Wheezes, and Copied Essays

Pushing the trolley with his and Albus’s trunks, James looked dubiously around to make sure no Muggles were paying attention to him before he strolled nonchalantly towards the barrier between platforms nine and ten at Kings Cross Station. Moving effortlessly through the wall, James appeared on the other side, a deep relief washing over him at the sight of the scarlet steam engine of the Hogwarts express. Within moments, Albus was at his side, looking around, holding Zulu’s cage in one hand, Barnaby’s in the other.

As the two boys had gotten older, people were always surprised by how they continued to look more and more alike. In fact, sometimes, the only thing that let people know that the two boys weren’t identical twins was Albus’s bright green eyes. Giving his brother an amused look, James set off across the platform, eyes peeled for the familiar faces of his uncle, aunt and cousins. He didn’t really want to see them, in fact, he wanted to go to find his friends straight away, but he knew his parents would be disappointed if James didn’t at least say hello.

Finally seeing the tell tale bushy hair of his aunt Hermione, and the bright red hair that so many of his cousins, not to mention his sister, had inherited from his uncles and mother, he pushed the trolley towards them, smiling broadly.

“James, Albus,” Rose called cheerfully, waving enthusiastically. Albus waved and they came to a halt in front of the family.

“Hey, Ron!” their father called cheerfully, pushing the trolley with Lily’s trunk on it. Rose and Hugo, it seemed, had already loaded their trunks onto the train, as there was no luggage to be seen.

As their parents began chatting happily, Albus smirked at Rose and accepted her offer to help him load his trunk onto the train. James grabbed the end of his own trunk and hauled it from the trolley, dragging it to the train and looking up and down the corridor.


James was almost knocked over as a pair of arms were flung around his neck and his face was covered in long red hair. James spat the hair from his mouth and wrapped his arms happily around the girl currently trying to strangle him.

“Alright, Rox?” he asked, finally released from her grip.

“Yeah, course,” she said cheerfully, flipping her hair over her shoulder and looking past him out of the train door. “Come on, we’ve got a compartment!”

James followed Roxanne down the corridor, finally pushing his trunk through the sliding door of one of the compartments in the middle of the train. With a brief wave to the twins, James returned down the train and climbed back down onto the platform. After a tight hug from his mother, a hug and a ruffle of hair from his father, and being told to be safe from both, James said goodbye, collected Barnaby, and returned to the compartment, falling into a seat beside Lorcan Scamander.

“You alright?” Lorcan asked with a sly grin. It seemed, that over the summer, Lorcan had decided that he still looked too much like his twin, and had shaved off most of his hair, leaving it incredibly short, and almost looking like fur covering his head.

“Yeah, relieved!” James answered with a broad grin, propping his feet up on the chair opposite him. “Lil’s been driving me nuts all summer.”

“At least you don’t have a twin,” Lysander said with a smug grin, running his hand through his hair.

James and Roxanne laughed. The only two people James knew who fought more than he and Lily did, were Lysander and Lorcan Scamander. It was no surprise that Lysander had been sorted into Ravenclaw, and Lorcan into Slytherin. Sometimes, James wondered how the two could stand to be around each other as much as they were, seeing as each was constantly complaining about the other.

So used to the journey, the four of them hardly noticed as the train pulled out of the station and began the long trip towards Hogwarts. Out in the corridor, students of all ages hurried back and forth past the door, some calling to their friends, others looking for a place to sit, first years looking around in terror at all the older students.

“Where’s Fred?” James asked Roxanne, who shrugged.

“Off making trouble, I suppose!” she said absently, holding a section of her hair and picking at it. Lorcan laughed loudly.

“You say that as if you’re little miss perfect, Rox,” he said through his laughter. “Which, on that note…”

Raising an eyebrow, he glanced with an amused look at James, who instantly sat up straighter.

“Ooh! Yes! Provisions!”

With a devilish grin, Roxanne rolled her eyes and got up from her seat, climbing onto it and opening her trunk while it was still in the luggage rack. Pulling out three bags, she threw one to Lorcan, one to Lysander, and one to James.

“We’re not even at school yet, and you’re already thinking about skiving classes?” Roxanne asked as she closed her trunk and fell with a thump back into her seat.

“Yes!” Lorcan and James answered in unison. Lysander, however, merely shrugged and blushed a little.

James opened his bag and rummaged his hand in, filtering the assortment of goodies through his fingers. Pulling out what looked like a button attached to a small brick, James held it up dubiously.

“Rox, what exactly is this?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Dad’s newest product,” Roxanne answered proudly. “You better be grateful for that, took me two days to smuggle those from the house.”

“You live above the shop, Rox, what could be that hard?” Lorcan asked silkily.

Roxanne gave Lorcan an annoyed but playful glance.

“Lor, you do realise my mother searches my trunk about a million times before she actually lets me out of the house. I think she’s catching on to the fact you two are a bad influence!” she explained.

“Two?” Lysander asked. “There are three of us.”

Lorcan, James, and Roxanne shared amused glances.

“Ly, you’re hardly a bad influence,” Lorcan explained. “In fact, I do believe you’re that little angel that sits on our shoulder and tells us that we should be behave.”

Lysander blushed furiously, closing his latest edition of the Quibbler in his lap.

“I am not!” he answered.

More amused glances were exchanged.

“Ly,” Roxanne said lovingly, reaching over and curling her arm around Lysander’s shoulders. “How much of your summer homework is done?”

“All of it…” Lysander answered, wondering where the conversation was leading.

“Lor,” Roxanne continued, “Jay?”

“None,” they answered in unison.

“Ly, how much of your books have you read so far?”

“All of them…”

“Lor,” Roxanne asked. “Jay?”

“None,” they answered in unison.


“Alright, alright!” Lysander said quickly. “I get your point.”

Roxanne grinned broadly and slid her arm from Lysander’s shoulders, ruffling his hair as she did so.

“Don’t worry, Ly, it’s why we love you,”

“No it’s not, and we don’t,” Lorcan answered, sticking his tongue out at his twin. With a sly glance at James, James had to look out the window to stop the laughter threatening to burst from his lips. Actually, that was one of the reasons they definitely did love Lysander, and why they both always made sure to buy him extra nice Christmas gifts.

“So, what did you guys do over the summer?” Roxanne asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Played Quidditch,” Lorcan and James answered simultaneously. Lysander rolled his eyes.

“We went with mum and dad to Egypt,” Lysander said excitedly. Lorcan however, groaned.

“Here we go again,” he muttered under his breath before shifting himself down in his seat and closing his eyes.

“Yeah, I remember James saying in his letter that you’d gone off for two weeks,” Roxanne answered, ignoring Lorcan’s moodiness at the subject. “Did you have fun?”

“Oh, it was fascinating!” Lysander answered enthusiastically, looking down at the magazine in his lap and beginning to flick through the pages. Opening it at a double page article, he handed it over to Roxanne, who gave Lorcan a knowing glance. So, this was why Lorcan had hated the trip, James thought.

James had known his three best friends all his life. Seeing as Roxanne was his cousin it wasn’t exactly surprising, but Lorcan and Lysander, well, their mother was one of his parent’s best friends… Plus, they didn’t live too far from the Potter house.

However, it was only during their first year at Hogwarts, when James made a joke about Pheeselbub Whicknaks, or something just as ridiculous, that he learned that in fact, Lorcan absolutely hated the Quibbler. James had been shocked, but could see where Lorcan was coming from. Apart from being good for a laugh, the Quibbler wasn’t seen as a proper magazine, and apparently, to Lorcan, people weren’t laughing at the Quibbler, they were laughing at the people who wrote it… his parents.

The Quibbler was usually the source of Lysander and Lorcan’s more serious arguments. Most of the time, the two just wound each other up with jibes and digs, but sometimes they would have an all out row and one, if not both, would storm off, usually leaving Roxanne and James twiddling their thumbs. In fact, for the first half of his first year, James thought Lorcan really hated his brother. That was until James and Roxanne saw Lorcan walk around a corner on the second floor to find a fifth year making fun of Lysander and pushing him. Without missing a beat, Lorcan stormed over and punched the boy in the nose. Apparently, no one was allowed to make fun of Lysander except for Lorcan… and now Roxanne and James.

“Excuse me!” James said, waving his hand in front of Roxanne and Lysander, who, if prior experience was anything to go by, were about to launch into a full scale discussion about some imaginary creature.

“What?” Roxanne asked, looking up.

From the seat next to him, James picked up the miniature brick he’d found in his bag of Weasley Wizard Wheezes goods.

“You’ve still not told us what this is!” James exclaimed, waiting it frantically.

“Oh, you press the button and drop it, and it creates a temporary brick wall. Means that if you’re on the run from a teacher, you can drop that, and they’ll not be able to get through,” Roxanne explained distractedly before turning back to the Quibbler.

James looked in awe at the small brick in his hand, and it seemed Lorcan had finally decided that paying attention was a good idea, as he also stared at it with a mischievous glint in his eye.

It wasn’t surprising that Roxanne became one of James and Lorcan’s best friends. As George Weasley’s daughter, she had an innate talent for trouble making, and living above Weasley Wizard Wheezes, she had unlimited access to the perfect prank accessories. That was, if she could get them past her mother, which, after three years at Hogwarts, she’d gotten down to an art… Of course, James’s help in creating a secret compartment in her trunk like Teddy had made in his was definitely helpful as well.

Most of the journey up to the castle passed without incident. Of course, numerous Weasley cousins stopped in and said hello, but none stayed long, each getting back to their own friends. Every time the compartment door opened, however, and James saw red hair, he let out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t Lily. He did love his sister, but having her far away when he was with his friends was always preferable.

As the train pulled into Hogsmeade station, James, Roxanne, and the twins, all dressed in their Hogwarts robes, left their things in the compartment to be collected and traipsed out into the corridor. With Lysander and Roxanne in front of him, James felt a sharp prod in his back.

“Ow, you git, what was that…” James stopped as he turned around and saw Lorcan holding out a set of parchments, all rolled up together. With a sly grin, James accepted them and shoved them into his pocket.

“What was that?” Lysander asked, eyeing James and his brother suspiciously.

“It was a proper magazine,” Lorcan answered with a nonchalant shrug. Lysander scowled and stalked away through the crowd. Roxanne, having seen some of her Hufflepuff friends, joined them and headed away as well, leaving Lorcan and James surrounded by excitable first years.

“Think he’s going to catch on?” James asked nervously, glancing at Lorcan as he climbed down onto the platform.

“That every holiday I steal and copy his essays and then give you a copy so we both get good grades?” Lorcan asked quietly, giving a first year who’d bumped into him a deathly glare that had the small boy running in the other direction. “Nah!”

“What if he does though?” James asked. “We’d get in a lot of trouble.”

“Yeah, and if the teachers found out who spiked Professor Pennington’s pumpkin juice with love potion in our second year, we’d also be in a lot of trouble,” Lorcan answered, smirking broadly. “Ly’s clueless. Plus, it’s not like we do it all the time. Just the holidays so that we can actually have a good time. Ly loves doing his essays, weird git, he’s perfectly happy.”

James nodded. “S’pose you’re right,” he answered before joining the throng of people heading towards the carriages so they could make their way to the castle.


Author's Note:
Hello again everyone! Hope you're all enjoying the fic. Usual request applies. Please review. How I love the feedback.


Chapter 3: The Hogwarts Super Slide
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Chapter Three

The Hogwarts Super Slide


James supposed the greatest thing about having a best friend in every house was that it didn’t matter which class he was in, he would always have someone to sit next to, and to have a good time with. The only problem with this, was that he shared the most boring subjects, History of Magic, and Arithmancy, with Ravenclaws… and therefore sat next to Lysander.

Most of the time, Lysander was great, and despite his reputation for being a little odd, had an awesome sense of humour and was stupidly smart, but in classes; well, like a true Ravenclaw, he worked hard and didn’t like being interrupted for more than a request for more ink or a spare piece of parchment. However, it did make copying his notes a hell of a lot easier.

As he sat in his first History of Magic class, Professor Binns droning on like the background crackling of a dying wireless radio, James’s thoughts drifted from Goblin Rebellions to the essay that was currently nestled in his bag just behind his Defence book. He did feel bad about copying Lysander’s essays three times a year, but he tried to make up for it the rest of the time, only copying his Ravenclaw friend’s notes… which Lysander knew and was perfectly happy about.

The first time he and Lorcan had done it had been on a Sunday afternoon in the run up to the summer holidays in their second year. James had been hidden in the back of the library buried in books as he tried to catch up on the five essays he had due over the next two days. When Lorcan came around the corner to find the source of a loud thumping as James hit himself in the head with a large book, they’d decided to swap essays and copy from each other. James had already finished his Charms essay, and Lorcan had finished Potions, so if they swapped, they only had four more to worry about.

Trying to think of a way to get the other essays, it was then that Lorcan admitted Lysander had caught him trying to sneakily take a look at his essays to get some pointers. If only there was a way to distract Lysander, then they might be able to get their hands on the essays.

The only problem with the plan was that it’d take them a long time to write up their own versions of the essays. They needed a way to duplicate the essays instantly so Lysander would never realise they were gone.

That afternoon, time that should have been spent working on essays was spent scouring through Charms books, searching for any way that could replicate the essays. It was about three o’clock before James began almost jumping up and down in his seat.

“Why didn’t I remember before?” he cried, grinning guiltily before lowering his voice again. “Gemino! My aunt Hermione used it to get the Horcrux from Umbridge. My dad used to tell me about it!”

Looking down at the charms book, he also noticed that the charm details on the next page was ‘Glisseo’.

“Yeah,” Lorcan said enviously. “You get stories about the Department of Mysteries and the Battle of Hogwarts, where I get tales of bugs from Asia that let you see the spirits of old Magical Creatures.”

James chuckled and pushed the book towards Lorcan, also pointing out the Glisseo charm as a good way to make some trouble.


Trying to bite back his laughter, James covered his mouth with his hand as Lysander gave him an odd look. There wasn’t much funny about Goblin rebellions after all… well, not the way Professor Binns told them. It’d taken James and Lorcan the best part of the afternoon perfecting the Gemino charm, but James had just realised they’d never put their plan for the Glisseo charm into action. He’d have to bring it up again… and probably tell Roxanne as well; she’d love it.

Realising as he’d been daydreaming he’d fallen quite behind Lysander on notes; he began hastily copying to catch up, the bell ringing just as he got a sentence behind Lysander. He copied the sentence down before packing up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and following Lysander out into the corridor.

“I’ll see you later,” James called as he turned in the opposite direction to Lysander and hurried with the crowd down towards Herbology, knowing that Lysander had Charms next.

James bumped into Roxanne just as he was making his way out of the Entrance Hall and out onto the grounds. Looping her hand cheerfully through his arm, she rested her head on James’s shoulder and sighed.

“Two days,” she said regretfully. “Two days and I’m already bored out of my brain!”

“You just had Transfiguration, right?” James asked, knocking his head against hers.

“Yeah,” she explained. “It was awful. Who tells Hufflepuffs to turn Badgers into hats?”

James hid a laugh behind his hand before unhooking his arm from Roxanne’s and slinging it over her shoulders.

“They’ll be telling the Slytherins to make scarves, Ravenclaws to make…” unfortunately, what Ravenclaws would make was lost on James, as well as what Gryffindors would make with their mascots.

“No!” Roxanne lamented, looking at James with wide eyes. “The Slytherins were making hats too! Katriona started going on about how all Hufflepuffs should be turned into hats, they’d be more useful that way.”

James scowled and pulled Roxanne a little tighter against him, knocking his head lightly against hers again. There was only one word to describe Katriona Flint, but James seemed to think it was an insult to female dogs. Plus, his mother usually yelled at him if he used that word.

What he could never understand was how Katriona managed to swindle so much power over the other Slytherin girls. She wasn’t intelligent, James believed she looked like a cross between a Pug and a Troll, and she wasn’t on the Quidditch team. However, her parents were apparently pretty big on the Slytherin scale of things in James’s dad’s day. James shrugged and pushed open the door to greenhouse number three.

“Just ignore her, Rox,” he said lowly. “She’s one Slytherin… sure her height and girth makes her probably count for one and a half, but you’re so much cooler than she is.”

Roxanne let out a reluctant giggle, looking up at James gratefully.

“Lorcan doesn’t like her, doesn’t he?” Roxanne asked suddenly as they took their places around the large workbench. James flashed a grin to Janie Green, another Gryffindor.

“I believe Lorcan’s exact words about Katriona the last time we talked about her were ‘the goblin orders me about one more time, and I will make it my mission to get her intimately acquainted with the Giant Squid’,” James explained, putting on his best Lorcan imitation. Roxanne smiled broadly and nodded before turning to listen to their instructions for the day, leaving James wondering why Roxanne cared so much who Lorcan did or didn’t like.

Half an hour later, James pelted to the large sink at the back of the greenhouse, turning the cold water on full and splashing it over his face as, behind him, Roxanne, Janie, and Henry Paulson, a Hufflepuff friend of Roxanne’s, all cried with laughter. He hadn’t meant to do it, and seeing as Professor Longbottom had told them the dangers of getting Bubotuber pus on their skin, James was frantic to get the stuff off before he broke out and looked like the Slytherin, Terrence Nott, on a good day.

“Alright, you three, that’s enough,” Professor Longbottom said with a shake of his head as he pushed past the three laughing classmates and approached James. Placing a hand on his shoulder, he turned James around to look at him before using his wand in a long sweeping motion.

“That should have gotten the last of it,” he said with a small smile, “but be more careful please, James.”

“Yes Professor,” James answered, his cheeks flushing red as he rejoined Roxanne, Janie and Henry at the workbench.

“Sorry, James,” Henry managed to mutter between chuckles. “But it was rather funny.

James nodded, and cautiously leant back towards his Bubotuber to continue collecting the pus.

“So, anyway, I was thinking,” James said quietly, shifting his Bubotuber a little closer to Roxanne’s so that he could talk to her privately. “Things have been far too quiet.”

Struggling to keep her Bubotuber still so that she could squeeze one of the swellings, Roxanne glanced at James with a raised eyebrow before turning her concentration back to her work.

“James, we’ve been here two days, let people get settled in,” she answered, finally managing to get the yellow pus to erupt from the swelling. She grimaced and held up the bottle to collect the pus.

“Nah,” James answered with a wicked grin. “Now is the perfect time, no one will be expecting it.”

“Expecting what, exactly?” she asked.

“Meet in the library after dinner. I’ll explain to everyone,” James explained ominously before ignoring all Roxanne’s pleas for him to tell her now.

It was half past six by the time Lorcan had peeled himself away from second helpings of crumble and custard and made his way into the library, cradling his arm across his stomach and groaning that he ate too much. Sitting around one of the small tables that was usually just enough for one person to work happily at, James and Roxanne perched haphazardly on the same chair as James pulled his charms book from his bag and opened it at the page he’d marked, laying it across the table.

Seeing the Gemino charm, Lorcan tried to look nonchalant, but couldn’t hide the shock in his eyes. To make sure they weren’t caught in their little essay scam, James leaned forward and pointed to the page showing the Glisseo charm. Lorcan visibly relaxed.

“You dragged me into the library to show me a charm that I have in my own charms book?” Roxanne asked with a raised eyebrow.

“This charm turns rough things smooth…” James explained excitedly. “Most notably; would turn stairs into a slide.”

“Like the girls dorms stairs,” Roxanne answered carelessly. The three boys stared at her with confused expressions. “Have you three never tried getting into the girls dorms?”

“No!” they all answered instantly.

“If a boy tries to get into the girls dorms, this big siren goes off and the stairs turn into a slide,” she explained with a grin. “And I thought you were meant to be trouble makers!”

Lorcan grinned smugly at Roxanne. “The girls in Slytherin aren’t worth getting into their dorms,” he explained with a happy shrug.

“We’re getting off the point!” James said in frustration. “The point is using this charm in the middle of the castle.”

Lorcan and Roxanne laughed and looked enthralled, Lysander looked worried.

Pulling out the Marauder’s map, he placed it on the table and tapped it with his wand, muttering ‘I solemnly swear I am up to no good’ as he did so. Ink appeared from nowhere and began spreading across the map. The first time Lorcan, Lysander, and Roxanne had seen this, they’d all been amazed, but now, it was quite normal.

As the map finished drawing itself, James leaned over and pointed at the South Tower. Lorcan, Lysander and Roxanne all leaned in a little and watched James curiously.

“Right here is the only set of staircases that doesn’t move and goes from the sixth floor all the way down to the ground floor,” James explained. ”Loads of people use it because it means they don’t have to cut back and forth along corridors. Between classes, that stairway is packed.”

“So what’s the plan?” Lorcan asked, a broad excited grin across his face.

“If you go up to the sixth floor, you can see all the way down to the ground floor. I say, we get all the stairs as everyone comes out of classes. Over a hundred people going down a slide.”

Roxanne laughed loudly before she covered her mouth to stop the Librarian from coming over and scolding them all for being noisy.

“I dunno, James,” Lysander answered carefully. “What happens when a hundred people go flying into that corridor, loads of people will get hurt.”

Lorcan waved his hand dismissively, Roxanne frowned and cocked her head to the side as she considered what Lysander had said, and James scratched his head as he thought about it.

“Ok! I’ve got it!” he answered finally. “There are six staircases, if two of us get three staircases each and the other two can cast constant cushioning charms to make sure no one gets hurt.”

Lysander looked like he wanted to argue, but couldn’t come up with anything. Defeated, he sat back in his chair. “Ok.”

“Right. We’re doing it tomorrow. Lor, we’ll do the Glisseo charms. Rox, Ly, you’re on cushioning. Lor and I have Defence first in the afternoon which puts us close to the South Tower. Where are you two?”

Roxanne smirked. “I’m in Divination. Right at the top of the South Tower.”

“Brilliant. You’ll be close. Ly, what about you?” James asked.

“I’m in Ancient Runes, it’s not far,” he explained, still a little uneasy.

James nodded and tapped the map again, wiping it blank before he folded it up and shoved it back into his bag along with his Charms book. Roxanne got to her feet and stretched languidly, looking away through the bookcases.

“Ok, be ready to run as soon as classes finish,” James said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and giving them all a mischievous grin. “See you tomorrow!”

James returned to his common room feeling more excited than he had done knowing he was coming back to Hogwarts. This was going to be amazing!


James couldn’t sit still all through his morning lessons the next day. He was told off twice by Professor Mordaunt twice in Transfiguration for not paying attention, and given extra homework in Charms because he failed to perform his summoning charm correctly. He wanted to tell the Professor that he was working on Charms, just not the one he’d asked for, but knew he couldn’t mention the Glisseo charm because it would let someone know who performed the prank in the afternoon.

All through Defence class, James and Lorcan shared mischievous looks as they tried to make notes about curses and hexes. Deciding that setting a classroom full of fourth years free with a lot of hexes was a terrible idea, Professor Abbott was making them learn all the theory and consequences of the charms they would be using.

Five minutes before the bell was set to ring, James and Lorcan began slyly packing their things away, sliding things carefully and quietly into their bags until, as the bell rang, all they had to do was stuff the quills and parchment into their bags and they were out the door.

Pelting along the corridor and up the staircase, they turned corners quickly, catching a few shoulders along the way as older student turned and swore loudly at them. It was only as Lorcan performed a magnificent gambol and jumped back to his feet, sending a seventh year with a large stack of books crumpling to the floor, that they decided it was best to slow down a little.

When James and Lorcan arrived at the top of the set of staircases in the South tower, it was to find Roxanne and Lysander already waiting. Looking over the banisters, James was thrilled to find that the staircases were packed.

“Ready?” he muttered to the others. When three nods came back, the four students leaning over the banisters with their wands at the ready, James grinned broadly.

“Remember Lor, you’re second, fourth and sixth. Start at the bottom and work up,” he reminded him. Lorcan grinned and nodded, his eyes alight with amusement.

“You two go!” James said to Roxanne and Lysander, who instantly began firing cushioning charms over and over again down the staircases.

“Lor…. Go!”

The excitement was everything as he began firing the charms at the staircases. It took a few attempts to hit the stairs through all the people, but he finally hit his mark as he heard screams and shouts, twenty people suddenly falling onto their bums and sliding down the first staircase. He saw that Lorcan had hit the second staircase, so he moved onto the third. Then, when he got that one, the fifth.

Soon, it was pandemonium as over a hundred students went flying down the staircases into the corridors below. Tears of laughter were pouring down Lorcan’s face, Roxanne could hardly breath from laughing, and even Lysander couldn’t hide the amused grin that was spread over his face as he tried not to laugh.

Some fell to their bums and slid down the six story slide, some had been walking up the stairs so fell onto their fronts, and James had to point out to the others as one boy managed to stay upright and almost surf his way down the stairs, falling flat on his face as soon as he got to the bottom.

“What in the world?”

James flung himself back from the banisters, immediately followed by Lorcan, Lysander and Roxanne, as the furious voice of Professor Pratt rang through the corridors. Flattening themselves against the wall furthest from the stairs with their hands covering their mouths, they edged along the wall and out of sight before sprinting off down the sixth floor corridor, falling over themselves with laughter as they finally came to a deserted space.

“That… was… priceless!” Roxanne managed to get out through her laughter, clapping James on the back as he doubled over, clutching his stomach as his laughter began searing into a stitch in his side.

“Absolutely… bloody… wonderful!” Lorcan cried.

Wiping tears of mirth away from his eyes, Lysander looked around in worry as the second bell rang.

“We’ve gotta go!” he said in anguish, hitching his bag further onto his shoulder and taking off down the corridor towards Transfiguration. Roxanne threw one last amused look at James and Lorcan before hurrying after Lysander.

James looked up and down the corridor before nudging Lorcan. “We’d better run,” he said, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah,” Lorcan answered before setting off at a run down the corridor.

James took off after him, and by the time they got down to the dungeons, James was once again clutching his side.

“Boys, you are ten minutes late!” Professor Henkle snapped angrily. “Ten points from Slytherin and Gryffindor.”

“Sorry Professor,” Lorcan and James apologised in unison, sneaking to the back of the class and taking their seats.

Despite losing points for both their houses, James and Lorcan could hardly keep the smiles off their faces. They didn’t even need the effects of the cheering potions they were creating. Today, nothing could bring James down. He was the unknown master of Hogwarts.

Chapter 4: Weasleys, Potters, and Toe Rags
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Weasleys and Toe Rags


By the time James got out of Potions, it seemed the entire school was talking about what had now been dubbed ‘The Hogwarts Super Slide’. Walking up from the dungeons and into the Great Hall for dinner, he took his seat at the Gryffindor table, had to hide his self congratulatory grin, and feign surprise as Lily took a seat opposite him with Hugo and began telling James exactly what had happened.

James couldn’t have been happier. As he had passed a group of sixth years, he had heard one boy explaining that this was the best prank he’d seen since he arrived, and that his friend Kenny had managed to get a photo of it as he’d been showing his new camera off to some Hufflepuff girl he fancied. Hoping that once the photo was developed, copies would be passed around the school, James vowed to get a copy and save it.

“Most people are saying it was Peeves!” Lily told James importantly as he nodded along mutely, spooning mashed potatoes onto his place. “It looks very much like something he’d do, don’t you think?”

Giving a serious look to Hugo, he nodded silently. James wanted to tell Lily that she’d have no idea what Peeves would do; she’d only been in the school three days, but he didn’t want to bring attention to himself. Luckily, he didn’t need to as Albus took the seat next to him; Rose planting herself on Albus’s other side.

“Peeves can’t cast charms like that,” Rose informed Lily, who was visibly deflating. Being an insufferable know-it-all was much more difficult when there was someone smarter than you in the vicinity. “He usually sticks to more physical pranks. Throwing ink pots, pulling rugs out from under people, that sort of thing.”

“Well, who do you think did it then?” Lily asked huffily, obviously not happy that the attention of her apparently captivated audience had been shifted to someone else.

“Probably some students with too much time on their hands,” Rose answered with a shrug, reaching out and carefully dishing herself out some cottage pie.

“Personally, I thought it was fantastic!” Albus answered, grinning broadly. “I was on the third floor stair case when it changed. It was the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!”

James had never felt such a fondness for his younger brother, and decided that he’d tell Albus it had been him to perform the magnificent prank. He’d probably not mention Roxanne and the twins, but knowing James, Albus would probably figure it out on his own.

Hugo also seemed to be hiding his amusement at the prank, but stayed quite quiet during the conversation. James glanced at him occasionally, surprised to see his cousin looking rather nervous. Frowning, James wondered if something was wrong with his young cousin. Hugo had always been a bit quieter than the rest of the Weasley clan, but seeing him like this was almost worrying. It was almost as if he was afraid to speak. Giving his cousin a small smile, James returned to his dinner as Fred joined them.

As a seventh year, Fred usually didn’t socialise with them, but he’d always be friendly. When he sat down, he gave them all broad grins.

“So; any ideas? Theories?” he asked happily, picking up a sausage and biting into it unceremoniously.

Everyone, including James, shook their heads.

“Damn,” Fred replied. “I was going to write home and tell dad about it. He’d be in stitches.”

“You know,” James said suddenly. “I heard a sixth year talking about someone getting a photograph of it. Maybe wait to owl Uncle George and send that with it. It’ll probably be all over the school tomorrow.”

“Hey! Good idea!” Fred answered, picking up a napkin. Piling a few sausages and a number of roast potatoes onto it, he gave them all a cheery wave and left the table, joining some friends as they left the Great Hall.

Chewing cheerfully on a piece of beef, James looked at his sister.

“So, Lily, how you liking Hogwarts?” he asked, deciding that seeing as he was in such a good mood, he could handle a conversation with his little sister.

“Oh, I love it!” she said excitedly, putting her fork down and leaning forward onto the table. “Of course, I miss mum and daddy, but it’s so exciting here.”

“That’s good,” James answered, looking again to Hugo. “What about you, Hugo? You enjoying it? Liking Gryffindor and all that?”

Hugo nodded silently as he chewed and swallowed his mouthful of peas.

“Yeah, it’s good,” he answered quietly. James hid his confusion behind a forced smile. Lily and Hugo had been complaining about the fact that they couldn’t come to Hogwarts since James had started his first year, and now he was here, Hugo seemed more withdrawn than ever.

After eating his dessert, James gave them all a short wave and set off back to the Gryffindor common room with a detour past the library to pick up a book for his Potions homework.

Settling into a chair in the corner, potions book open across his lap, James stared wistfully across the common room to a group of second years playing Gobstones in front of the fire. Sure, James had friends in his year in Gryffindor, but it was the evenings when having his best friends in the other three houses really became a drag. He could imagine them all lounging in the chairs, laughing and joking. He’d thought about them all crowded around a small table trying to do their homework, having all their classes together. James frowned. He liked his housemates, but it just wasn’t the same.

He had three paragraphs of his Potions essay written by the time Lily and Hugo returned to the common room, two other first year girls in tow. Sitting not far from James, Lily began animatedly regaling stories of their father and all the things he did during his Hogwarts years. James rolled his eyes and went back to his essay.

He was only two lines in when he had to look up again. Lily had begun telling the two girls all about Dumbledore’s Army and how their father had taught them all the defensive spells that helped them survive the war. Staring at Lily, he couldn’t believe how much she was relying on the reputation of their parents to get her by. James had tried as hard as he could to steer himself away from his father’s shadow, and as far as he’d seen, Albus had as well, but Lily was using it to every advantage she could.

Looking at the two girls sat with Lily and Hugo, they watched Lily with an awed expression as if she had been the one to do these things, but Hugo… Hugo was staring at his knees, a grim expression on his face. James watched forlornly, his good mood evaporating with every passing minute.

He’d never been especially close to Hugo. With Lily and Albus more at their cousin’s ages, they’d always been the close ones, but James always liked them both. Rose could be a bit bigheaded occasionally, but she was a nice girl. But, despite the fact that his siblings had been closer to them, it didn’t mean James didn’t care. Listening to Lily go on and on, James wondered if she cared that Hugo seemed depressed, or more so, if she’d even noticed.

James knew it would be impossible to talk to Hugo now. Even if he dragged his cousin away to another area of the common room, he figured he’d get half way through asking Hugo if he was alright before Lily would come over and want to know what they were talking about. So, he resigned himself to talk to Hugo at another time, only, it seemed, he didn’t have to wait that long. Just as James was finishing his potions essay, he looked up to see Hugo picking up his bag and telling the others he was going to get an early night.

Collecting up his things, James shoved them unceremoniously into his bag, only keeping out his essay as it was still wet and he didn’t really want to even chance having to do it again. He gripped it in his left hand, slinging his bag over his right shoulder and following Hugo stealthily to the boy’s dorms.

After dropping his things off in his second floor dorm, James came back out and made the slow trek up to the sixth floor of the dorms before he saw ‘First Years’ in a plaque on the door. James knocked loudly before stuffing his hands in his pockets, looking up and down the stairs.

The door opened a crack, and James saw two light brown eyes peer out at him before the door was pulled open properly. James had never really realised how small Hugo was. Well, how small all the first years were.

“Hey!” James said cheerfully. Hugo merely stared at him before peering down the stairs.

“What is it?” he asked.

Rocking onto the balls of his feet, James frowned a little as he looked seriously at his younger cousin.

“You alright, Hu?” he asked quietly. “I just, well, you’ve been quiet and in the common room you looked… well, downright miserable.”

Hugo shrugged and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes. “Yeah, I’m great,” he answered.

For someone who was apparently ‘great’, James thought Hugo sounded awful.

“Come on,” James replied gently. “We’ve all been there, what’s up?”

Hugo looked down the stairs nervously before staring forlornly at the stairs.

“Do you ever think you’re not meant to be here?” he asked in a cautious whisper. James stared at him in confusion. Of course Hugo was meant to be here, he was a wizard after all.

“What… what do you mean?” he asked.

Hugo took another glance down the stairs before stepping back, ushering James into the dorms before closing the door behind them. Turning around, he leant on the doorframe sullenly.

“Everyone else is finding it so easy,” Hugo admitted. “Lily’s making friends left, right, and centre, telling everyone about Uncle Harry. Rose is always going on about how great she’s doing in all her classes. You and Albus are really popular. I just… I just don’t think I fit in.”

If James wasn’t mistaken, he could be sure that there was a slight look of relief on his face. James assumed he’d probably been worrying about this long before he came to Hogwarts, and telling someone was a weight off his shoulders. Giving Hugo a reassuring smile, James shrugged a little.

“You think we were like this when we first arrived?” he asked Hugo. “I was a complete prat. Didn’t know what to say or do. Didn’t know how to talk to anyone, and I definitely wasn’t doing the best in any of my classes. Albus and Rose were the same. The sort of stuck together for the first month as far as I saw.”

Hugo nodded mutely.

“Look, Hugo, Lily’s… being Lily. She’s using mum and dad because she doesn’t know what else to say. Everyone knows about dad, so she’s using it.” Giving Hugo a sly grin, he raised an eyebrow. “Personally, it’s rubbish. Who wants to live off their parents reputation?”

“But everyone loves her,” Hugo answered.

“Until the stories run out,” James answered simply. “Everyone settles in differently. I’m sure it’ll be fine in a week or so.”

Nodding, Hugo suddenly looked even more nervous, and James began wondering if his worries about being one of the latest of the Weasley clan to join Hogwarts was the only problem.

“There’s… there’s this guy,” Hugo murmured finally. James watched him curiously. “He keeps hexing me and stuff.”

“And stuff?” James asked carefully.

“Saying things.”

“Like what?”

Hugo shuffled from one foot to the other.

“Keeps saying Rose is the smart one, that everyone knows I’m a good for nothing and no one likes me,” Hugo admitted quietly. “That my parents are useless.”

“Who is this little ba…” James stopped. He really shouldn’t be using bad language in front of his younger cousin.

“Malfoy,” Hugo said.

James didn’t need a first name to know the insolent little toe rag who was tormenting Hugo. He’d heard his father and Uncle Ron talking about Draco Malfoy, Scorpius’s father, who they hated in school, and didn’t think much more of now. It also wasn’t the first time since Scorpius had arrived with Rose and Albus that James had learnt how arrogant and annoying the boy was. From what he could work out, he was as much the jerk his father had been.

James stepped forward and clapped Hugo on the shoulder.

“You leave Malfoy to me. I’ll show that little prat what happens when he messes with my friends.”

Hugo looked up at James and smiled nervously.

“We’re cousins,” he said quietly.

“That means we can’t be friends?” James asked with a knowing smirk. Hugo shook his head gently. “Well, good.”

“James,” Hugo said quietly as James pulled opened the door. James turned back. “Thanks.”

“No problem. That brat won’t know what hit him.”

James returned to his dorm hoping that what he’d said to Hugo had maybe helped his cousin in his anxiety, and vowing that Malfoy would know never to mock a Weasley or a Potter again.

Author's Notes:
Not a serious amount to say here, just the usual stuff. If you liked it, please review, if you didn't, please review and tell me why.
New chapter should be up within the next fortnight. I'm planning for NaNo and also working a full time job now, but I will be with you as soon as possible.

Chapter 5: Revenge is Sweet... Like Acid Pops
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Chapter Five

Revenge is sweet… like acid pops!

“That cheeky little son of a…” Lorcan hissed angrily, only beating the others to the punch because they were too busy looking shocked.

As always when it came to younger students being harassed, Roxanne’s shocked look morphed itself into a sigh of disappointment that someone wasn’t having the amazing ‘first few days of Hogwarts’ experience she firmly believed everyone should get.

“Poor Hugo!” she murmured, shaking her head. “That must be so horrible.”

The funny thing was, that despite all their shock, they’d all been there. James had the obvious ‘you’ll never be as good as your father was’. Roxanne was the victim of being the younger sibling to a boy who was almost as good a prankster as their father, and the twins… It didn’t need explaining more than Lorcan and Lysander knew better than almost anyone what it was like to be in someone else’s shadow. The Quibbler was a cloud hanging over both of them. The only difference between the two was that Lorcan hated clouds.

“So, I’m thinking we teach the brat a lesson,” James answered, nodding to Roxanne and patting her on the shoulder as she continued to look like a lost puppy. Lorcan gave Roxanne a funny look before hanging his head, gazing down at the empty parchment that should contain his Charms essay… if he’d written it.

For a moment, the four of them stared blankly ahead, all trying to think of something that would destroy the annoying little git who had picked on someone as innocent as Hugo. Lorcan absently scratched his head, flicking the top of his ear with one finger. Lysander ran his front teeth over and over his bottom lip, his arms folded across his chest. James drummed his fingers against the library table, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. However, Roxanne watched Lorcan.

“I’ve got an idea,” Lysander said quietly.

It took a few seconds for James to catch on to what Lysander had said. He slowly raised his gaze and looked at the boy across from him, his eyes slightly wider than they usually would have been, and his eyebrows higher on his head. As Roxanne and Lorcan also caught on, they both seemed to be playing the ‘look like James’ game as they both adopted equally shocked looks.

As much as Lysander was their friend and was intelligent and creative, he wasn’t the kind to use his brains for trouble making. Most of the time it was James, Lorcan, or Roxanne trying to convince Lysander that their idea was not only harm free, but also brilliant. He usually went along with it, but he was never the one to come up with the scheme.

Maybe it was because Lysander had been in Hugo’s position much more than the others had. He’d not only been mocked in his first year like the others (and most first years, actually) but he’d been dealing with it ever since. The fifth, sixth and seventh years still called him a freak when they knew his brother wasn’t around to punch them for it. They still teased him and asked him what imaginary creature he was making friends with this week. James always felt terrible, because as much as he or Roxanne tried to help, it never changed, and Lorcan wasn’t the best person to talk to when it came to defending the Quibbler.

James waved his hand around as if shovelling something towards himself, wanting more information.

“Well,” Lysander began, his cheeks tingeing pink, probably thinking that he was about to be shot down. “We’d need help.”

“No way!” Lorcan answered quickly. “I want to take the little slime ball down, I don’t care if he’s supposed to help us win the cup this year, the brat’s awful! I’m not watching from the sidelines!”

It seemed, as James looked between the brothers, that both had an extra stake in this if Lorcan cared more about teaching Malfoy a lesson than he did about the Quidditch cup. He gazed at his Slytherin friend, wondering if it was because Lysander had been teased so much, he didn’t want anyone else going through it. Shrugging, James looked back to Lysander.

“The point is total desolation!” Lysander retorted, glaring back at Lorcan. “Say you guys pull a prank on him, he’ll be moody for a week. If what I’ve got an idea about works… Scorpius Malfoy could be hiding his face for months.”

“I’m in!” Roxanne answered without waiting to hear the rest, grinning proudly as she moved her chair so she sat close to Lysander.

“So?” James asked. “What is it?”

Lysander grinned almost evilly, and for the first time in a long time, it was clear that Lorcan and Lysander were twins.

“We need Dom!”


It took a lot of convincing to get Dom involved, and it took even more pleading to make her agree to it once the target was named. But when she heard the plan properly, she was in. As it turned out, Dominique Weasley really didn’t like Scorpius Malfoy.

Sitting on one of the benches in the courtyard, all squashed together as they tried to get a good view, James had to bite down on his knuckles to stop from laughing. Glancing across the courtyard to make sure Hugo was there, he nodded to his cousin. He’d not told Hugo why he was out in the courtyard, but he had told him that he’d enjoy the little show they had organised for him.

Seeing the platinum blonde hair of the third year Malfoy boy, James reached over and gripped Roxanne’s hand, squeezing it tightly to let her know how excited he was seeing as he thought if he brought his fist out of his mouth, he’d scream.

The boy talked pompously with some other Slytherin boys as they made their way across the courtyard, noses high in the air like they were better than everyone else. James glanced to the corner of the courtyard, and was surprised to see the look on Dominique’s face. She looked absolutely furious. This wasn’t going to work if she wasn’t nice! James was starting to panic. Lysander’s plan was going to fall flat on it’s ass! But the moment he thought it, the look on Dominique’s face was gone and replaced with the look he knew was every Hogwarts boy’s downfall. (Well, except the ones related to her.)

She walked across the courtyard and every head turned, every boy stopped to stare, and practically every girl either watched on with envy or disbelief… she was going after another one!

Dominique was well known in Hogwarts despite only being a third year. From the moment she stepped off the Hogwarts Express, people noticed her… especially boys. Of course, not many of them knew the reason she was so hard to resist looking at, but James, Lorcan, Lysander, and Roxanne did. Where as her older sister Victoire had refrained from using her Veela charm, Dominique lived off it. Boys did her homework for her, carried her books, even took the blame when she got in trouble with teachers. The more she did it, the better she got, and within two years of being at the school, she was lethal if you were a guy and she liked the look of you.

“Oh, Scorpius?”

Her voice rang across the courtyard and the blonde boy turned to look at the beautiful girl almost floating towards him. Innocently, in a way only Dominique could pull off, she tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled sweetly. Scorpius stood, staring at her in amazement, seemingly unable to break his gaze from her.

James didn’t know what she did next. Maybe he’d never know what she whispered into Malfoy’s ear, but he really didn’t want to know, she was his cousin after all. All James knew, was that Scorpius stepped back, still gazing at Dominique before he turned around and frantically searched the crowd until he found Hugo. Rushing over to him, he took Hugo’s bag and hitched it onto his own shoulder, picked up the books that Hugo had been carrying in his small arms.

"Come on, Scorpius," Dominique said, pouting slightly as she looked at him hopefully. "Say it, please? Just for me?"

Beside him, Roxanne was crying, tears of mirth and disbelief pouring down her cheeks. Lysander was grinning broadly; and Lorcan… well, Lorcan was looking a little nervous, but James ignored it. Lorcan was probably just hoping this would go according to plan.

“I am Hugo Weasley’s Slave!” Malfoy said loudly before looking to Dominique for approval.

All around the courtyard, students were sniggering behind their hands, whispering to each other. People backed away from Malfoy as he made his loud declaration as if afraid to be seen with him. Only Dominique remained close to him, a triumphant yet sweet smile on her face. It was like Acid Pops. They looked and tasted nice… but they burnt a whole in your tongue. Dominique was dangerous like that if she wanted to be.

“Promise?” she asked.

“I promise! I’ll do whatever you want!” Malfoy almost cried. “Please just let me touch your hair!”

Dominique shrugged and turned, ignoring Malfoy as she walked towards James. Malfoy stared after her desperately, his eyes darting around the courtyard as he slowly began coming to his senses. People were laughing loudly at him, others mimicking him begging the Gryffindor girl, some just shook their head in disgust that someone so ‘apparently’ popular would make such a colossal prat out of themselves in the middle of the crowded courtyard.

Through the throngs of people, James watched Hugo march over to Scorpius and snatch his bag back from him, taking his books too before he turned and walked away, the biggest grin on his face that James had ever seen.

James was so pleased that he didn’t even notice Dominique had reached them until she placed her hand on James’s shoulder, staring back through the crowds to where a platinum blonde blur just bolted towards the nearest door.

“Well, I believe you said total social destruction,” she said innocently before smiling happily at each of them, her gaze lingering on Lorcan’s for a moment, and walking away to rejoin her friends.

James didn’t think he would ever be as happy at ruining someone’s popularity as he was in that moment, but as he turned his head to look at his friends, seeing Lorcan staring wishfully after Dominique, and Roxanne looking like she’d drank a dozen Deflating Droughts, his stomach began sinking.

Sure Lysander’s plan had worked even better than they’d hoped for Malfoy, but it seemed to have created something within his own circle of friends. Sitting on the bench and wondering what to say, James could taste acid pops on his tongue.

Author's Notes:
YEY! Malfoy gets what he deserves! He he. Ahh, I love public humiliation.
Anyway, if you've gotten this far, you must have some opinion on the story, whether you love it or hate it, or somewhere inbetween. Reading coz you have nothing better to do?
Whichever way, please please please review!
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Chapter 6: The Way to Catch a Snitch
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Chapter Six

The Way to Catch a Snitch


Over the next month, James found every opportunity he could to tease Scorpius about his ‘embarrassing incident’ in the courtyard, and from the not so witty comebacks, and the way that Scorpius would skulk off, his face a mortified pink, James knew it was working. He didn’t know if the Slytherin brat knew that it was Lysander who came up with the idea, or that it had been James who coerced Dominique into playing along, but one thing was for sure, in the following month, Hugo was a lot more upbeat, and James suspected he hadn’t been getting any more trouble from Scorpius Malfoy.

Sitting at the Gryffindor table early on the bright but windy October morning, James could feel his fingers trembling against his fork. He tried to eat, tried to get his strength up, but every time the fork came anywhere near his mouth his stomach churned uncomfortably and he felt nauseous. Only one thing ever got James Potter under this much stress and it certainly wasn’t a test coming up in one of his classes. No, today was the first Quidditch match of the year.

Slytherin verses Gryffindor.

As always, the evening before, James and Lorcan had taken part in their pre-match chat. The same things had been said since they both joined their house teams in their second year. Whoever won, it wouldn’t affect their friendship. They’d done pretty well the two years previously, and James was hoping the same would be true of today. Yes, whoever’s team lost, the respective player would be moody for a few days, but James knew there was no point in blaming his team’s loss on Lorcan, and he hoped Lorcan felt the same way. They were two players on a pitch of fourteen, they weren’t the be all and end all of the matches… especially seeing as neither of them were Seekers.

Lorcan had channelled his innate talent of hitting things that he’d become a Beater, and James, well… James was the Keeper. One day, hopefully the next year when Kathleen Yew left Hogwarts, James would get the Captain position, but every time he thought of it, the churning feeling returned. He’d get a lot of stick if he became captain and the Gryffindor team lost, especially since his father and grandfather had both been captains, and his father had been the youngest player in a century. Just another thing for James Potter to never live up to. He hated it.

James hardly noticed as Albus sat down next to him, staring thoughtfully at the toast before shaking his head and reaching for the pumpkin juice. Albus was also on the team, as a Chaser, and it was only after Albus had joined the team half way through his second year after Helena George suffered a rather nasty leg break and decided not to play anymore that James and Albus had found something other than their love of the game in common. Unlike Lily, who was still using every opportunity to live off their father’s fame, Albus disliked living in their father’s shadow almost as much as James did.

Glancing at his brother finally, James nodded slowly. If he wasn’t going to eat, there was no point in staying at the table. Albus seemed to have the same idea and followed suit as James got to his feet.

Cheers erupted from the Gryffindor table, boos from the Slytherin table, as James and Albus made their way out of the Great Hall.


James turned around, smiling weakly as he saw Lysander hurrying after them.

“Good luck,” he said cheerfully, giving James a reassuring smile. He supposed that was the good thing about Lysander being in Ravenclaw; he didn’t automatically want Slytherin to win. In fact, Lysander liked watching Quidditch, he just didn’t play, so it meant he wanted Ravenclaw to win the cup. In true Lysander fashion, he’d chosen to wear blue instead of trying to pick a side for the match like so many of the other students, who were all either sporting red or green for the event.

James nodded to Lysander and left him at the marble staircase before making his way out onto the lawns with Albus.

“Dad sent us a good luck owl,” Albus said quietly as they trudged down the grounds towards the Quidditch pitch.

“That’s nice,” James answered absently. He seemed to have left his brain back in the Great Hall, worrying about what to eat for breakfast.

He knew as soon as he was up in the air he’d be fine, he always was, but it didn’t make the pre-game any less nerve wracking. Every pair of eyes in the school on him whenever the Quaffle came towards the Gryffindor hoops, all hoping he’d either save the ball, or that he’d let it through.

The quiet and nervous excitement saturated the Gryffindor changing room as James changed into his Quidditch robes and pulled on his keeper gloves. Albus sat on one of the benches, already changed, staring at his knees. Ignatius Fallon, their sixth year Seeker, was beadily watching a fly zoom around the room, probably wondering if his fast reflexes would allow him to catch the small creature. Kathleen and Seth, the two other Chasers, sat on either side of Albus, Seth nodding slowly as Kathleen explained their game plan again in a hushed tone. Pike, (Normally known as Peter Ikel) and Tessie both examined their beater’s bats for splintering, a pre game ritual that James assumed made them feel better.

Before Kathleen even had the chance to give them a spirit building speech, the roars of the crowd filtered through the door and Kathleen nodded in what James thought was meant to be an encouraging fashion. Pulling on the cuffs of his gloves, James followed her with the rest of the team, out onto the pitch.

James stared at the grass as Professor Cedron, the flying teacher, gave them a recap on good gamesmanship. Despite the changes over the years in the House Rivalries, the fact that it was no longer social suicide for a Slytherin to be friends with a Gryffindor, and visa versa, there was always going to be the Quidditch competitive nature. It seemed, friends and Quidditch didn’t mix.

As Keeper, Lorcan didn’t usually see the need to hit a Bludger in James’s direction, but James knew if he did, it was nothing personal. It was Quidditch. When it was game on, it was friends off!

Thumping his fist lightly against Albus’s shoulder in the most brotherly way he could, James hopped on his broom and soared off towards the Gryffindor goals as the whistle was blown and the balls were released.

With no new players that year, the two teams were fast and furious. Screams and cheers echoed around the stands, the crowd on it’s feet as soon as the Quaffle was caught by the first player.

James kept his eye on the large maroon ball, watching as it switched hands faster than banner material in Hogwarts. Both sets of Chasers were good, and this was probably going to be the most difficult game of the season. Herbert Ugby’s aim was particularly on the mark, meaning that whenever they got near the hoops, the Quaffle would usually be passed to him. It also meant that the two Bludgers were hit his way by the Gryffindor Beaters more often than any other player. In the two years James had been on the team, Ugby had been carted off to the Hospital wing fourteen times. (Five of which during Slytherin practices because their captain wanted him to get better at dodging the black balls and it’d failed.)

The Quaffle was down the other end of the pitch, Albus passing to Kathleen, Kathleen dodging a Bludger from Lorcan and doing an over the shoulder pass back to Albus. James watched in excited terror as Albus hurled the ball towards the goals.


James whooped, thumping his fist happily into the open palm of his other hand. Brilliant! First blood taken by Albus! However, this meant that Slytherin would come back with renewed vigour, and as suspected, within minutes, three Slytherin Chasers were shooting towards him, tailed by the Gryffidor chasers as the beaters tried desperately to be the first to the black balls.

The Quaffle was flying towards him as a tremendous speed, and James had to lay flat against his broom to get to the left hand hoop in time. He turned his broom as sharply as possible, and the Quaffle slammed into his stomach.

Doubled over on his broom, the Quaffle clutched against him, James heard the collective groan of the entire crowd. The Gryffindor (and anyone supporting them) half, groaning because that definitely looked like it hurt; and the rest because Slytherin hadn’t scored. James straightened up, holding the ball tightly before lobbing it to Seth, who went gliding quickly back down the pitch towards the Slytherin hoops.

Sometimes, in the flurry of activity with the Quaffle and Bludgers, James completely forgot about the tiny golden ball that zoomed unseen around the pitch, two players desperately looking for it, and it wasn’t until both Seekers dive-bombed towards the centre of the pitch that he remembered it was how the game ended. Gryffindor were only twenty points ahead with one hundred and ten points, and the Slytherin Seeker was in front of Ignatius. James hollered at his team mate, urging him on, his concentration ebbing from the Quaffle and the Chaser’s throwing it about.


James cursed under his breath. He’d only realised the Quaffle was flying towards him at the last minute, and he was too far away to reach it before it soared through the centre hoop. Slytherins were cheering, Gryffindors were groaning, and James distinctly heard Kathleen screaming at him to get his head back in the game and to ignore the Seekers before she darted past him, Quaffle in hand.

The game continued at the break neck pace, James shooting from one hoop to the others to stop the Slytherin chasers from scoring. Gryffindor was still leading, but they never got a good enough lead to go on the defensive and merely stop Slytherin scoring. If Slytherin got the Snitch it was over. They needed a bigger lead. Albus had a bloody nose from where a Bludger had smacked him in the face, but he refused to go out, and instead had two bits of tissue stuffed up his nostrils. Seth was favouring his left hand as his right had a big black bruise over his knuckles, and Lorcan seemed like he was unstoppable when a Bludger came towards him.

Luckily, Gryffindor weren’t the only team with injuries. Ugby’s foot was limp, and Malfoy was cradling his shoulder when he wasn’t shooting after what James assumed must be the Snitch.

“SCAMANDER…. NOOOOO!” Malfoy howled, flying at full speed towards Lorcan, his arm outstretched.

Every eye watching the game turned on Lorcan Scamander as he swung his beater’s bat, hoping to collide it with the black ball screaming towards him. What Lorcan hadn’t realised, however, was that the tiny Golden Snitch was also zooming towards him.

Lorcan’s bat connected with the Snitch, and then the Bludger, sending the tiny Golden ball rocketing off in the other direction, and the Bludger straight into Malfoy’s arm.

The entire school held their breath as a golden blur shot across the pitch towards the Gryffindor hoops. If asked afterwards, James would say that he had no idea how he did it, whether it was his Keeper’s reflexes, or just pure dumb luck (of course he only said that to his friends), but he instinctively shot his arm out to the side, and the Snitch collided with his gloved hand.

His fist clenched around the game ending Snitch, James sat on his broom, dumbstruck at what had just happened. He’d caught the Snitch! This was… this was unheard of.

Professor Cedron blew on his whistle and the confused teams flew to the ground. Despite being dazed and amazed at what had just happened, the Gryffindor team were beaming. Their team had caught the Snitch! However odd it was… they’d won! The Gryffindor supporters were screaming and cheering, the Slytherin supporters groaning and debating the fairness to each other.

“This is pure…”

“Mr Malfoy, you will not finish that sentence if you don’t want detention!” Cedron snapped as he landed his broom and dismounted. The Gryffindor team exchanged smug grins. As far as they were concerned. That ended it! They’d definitely won!

Professor Morris, the Headmistress, came striding out onto the pitch and summoned Professor Cedron to talk to her. Cedron hurried off, and while he engaged with a hurried and hushed conversation with the Headmistress, the teams waited for what they both knew was about to happen. Gryffindor would be named the winners.

As Cedron returned, hands on his hips, he shrugged.

“Match is rescheduled for next week!” he announced loudly in a magically enhanced voice that boomed over the stadium.

James was sure that if he’d been watching from the sidelines, the sight of one thousand heads all turning simultaneously in one direction would have been hilarious, but right now, all he could register was shock… and confusion. They’d caught the Snitch. They’d won! Why did they need a rematch?

“But sir?” Kathleen demanded. “James caught the Snitch!”

“The rules clearly state that the game is ended when the team’s Seeker catches the Snitch,” he informed them all. Slytherin supporters were starting to hoot in appreciation, Gryffindor supporters were groaning.

“Can’t we just get back up there then?” Lorcan asked with embarrassment. No doubt he’d get some harsh comments from Slytherin supporters who would claim it was his fault the Gryffindor Keeper had been able to catch the Snitch in the first place.

“No can do,” Cedron answered. “We need to get a new Snitch before we can start the match. “It’s going to be next Saturday!”

Half an hour later, after much more debating with Professor Cedron, James sat in the Gryffindor changing rooms, the Snitch still clutched in his hand. He somehow didn’t want to let it go, despite the fact it hadn’t won them the match. In fact, it was a curse as it meant they had lost the lead they’d created and needed to start again from scratch in a week’s time.

Apparently, according to the rules of Quidditch… that was not the proper way to catch a Snitch.

Author's Note: Hello everyone and thank you for reading. I hope you liked this chapter. I absolutely loved writing it. (Merlin love 4am writing sessions when I have work the next day)
Well, it seems James and Lorcan won't be having the best week after this. Here is a little preview:

“Good morning?” Lorcan asked sarcastically, idly doodling a picture of a Snitch on the corner of his parchment.
“Oh, top!” James replied in the same sarcastic tone. “Thanks to that genius, Higgins, I now finally know the difference between a Bludger and a Snitch… think he can draw a picture of his ass so I know where to shove my foot?”

Please review, whether it's praise of criticism, it is worth while. You've read this much of the story, what's five more minutes? ;)
Chele. x