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It's A Funny Story. by Misty_Dreamer

Format: Short story
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 8,752
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance
Characters: Hermione, Krum, Draco
Pairings: Draco/Hermione, Hermione/Krum

First Published: 04/18/2008
Last Chapter: 05/12/2011
Last Updated: 05/12/2011


And she burst through my door, sobbing like a 3 year old.
 "Uhh yes you may come in" I said.
 "Oh shut it." she sobbed. She breathed a shaky breath, "Im ready to tell you."
I waited... I waited more. Im a very patient man by the way. So I waited some more. Actually, I dont think Im very pat-

"It's yours" she blurted.
-ient. On second thought, I could've waited longer.

Chapter 1: Life As We Know It
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I dont own the characters. Duh.

WARNING: Draco Malfoy is incredibly out of character... so much... its creepy.

Chapter 1:
 Life as we know it.


Children. I don’t like them. Who does? And I'm serious. Who can even love these trouble causing maggots? In fact, I don’t even like babies. ‘Cause that’s how the children start out as. As babies. If there were no babies, they’re would be no children. Perfect.


Oh! No no! I dont plan to secretly remove them from the Earth so there wont be any children!! Although… nevermind.


Oh jeez. But only that decision of choice landed me where I am today. And where I am today is with a baby its self.


Confused? Then let me explain my self.


I am Draco Malfoy, a wizarding doctor (healer) in St. Mungos. And it all started out by the mystery client.




T’was a rainy day. I decided not to take it as a bad omen. *ahem*


I was pacing my room absent-mindedly when my phone call came from Nicole. She whined that there was one of my clients appointment today and I hadn’t checked in for it. Did I mention she whined? Her nerve!


But wait- I had no clients today after 4!! Heh. Stupid Nicole right? YEP!


“Wrong person,” I said back very annoyed and snapped my phone shut.


Before I even get the chance to breathe, before I even get the second to think evil thoughts about Nicole, my cell phone rings. I pick it up.


I hear her whiney voice.

“ No, Dr. Malfoy. I was not talking to the wrong person!” I think she pauses to check if I'm listening.


I breathe loudly into the phone.


I bet 99.9% of my money she rolled her eyes.


She groans. “Dr. Malfoy would you please check in? Your client should be coming in 10 minutes… please?” she is such a whiner.


But, I could tell she was very annoyed with me. So that made me very annoyed with her.

“I don’t like you very much.” I growled.


“Lovely.” She replied in mono-tone. And hung up. What a freak.


So I decided to go check in.




I head towards the counter desk.


“Nicole.” I state in acknowledgement.


Yet she is jabbering away on her cell phone as if she’ll die in 2 seconds if she doesn’t get all the information out in a mili second.


“Nicole!” I burst out.


Still in the middle of her jabbering she hangs up and glares at me.


“Nice of you to show up, Dr. Malfoy. But you may go back to your room. I already checked in for you.” She faked a smile.


I mustered the most sneery glare I could give her. She did one equally back. Nicole was one of those girls who weren’t like the other girls. She thought I never deserved attention. She was never after me like the other nurses. She reminds me of another girl… from Hogwarts perhaps? I knew that girl very well maybe too well……-


“Hello?!! Dr. Malfoy! You need to go to your room she is arriving soon!!!”


Stupid Nicole. Never lets me think. I doubt she does it herself!


“Whatever” I grumbled back.


I walked in to my room and sat on my desk. I must wait. I turned around to look out the window. My back at the door.


A light and soft knock at the door. Only once. Not Nicole.


I sighed, “Come in.”


The soft click of the door opening and the soft click again of the door closing, informed me she was in.


“Ermm… Dr. Schkeign?” a soft-firm voice questioned. That’s not my name.


“What...?!” I spun around and froze.


And there in my view of sight was a young lady. Her hair was a soft mass of flourish swirls. Hey eyes, were a lush of caramel. I never knew I had this type of vocabulary. I looked further down. She was wearing a tank top with green shorts. She looked nervous. But she stood firm of her stance. But most of all she was familiar. I knew her but from where? I had this feeling that I knew her maybe too well?


“Er…” she started.


“I'm not Doctor Sckeign” I blurted. She blinked.


“Oh?” she squeaked, her eyes went huge. “Uh. The receptionist told me Rm. 203 and umm … yeah. I just want a doctor, any doctor.” She finished lamely. She blushed. Then went back to a firm face.


I raised an eyebrow.


She raised an eyebrow.


I raised my other eyebrow.


She raised her other eyebrow.


I raised my eyebrows higher.


She scoffed and rolled her eyes. Some attitude.


I knew by the way she changed position: hands crossed, leaning on one leg, staring directly into my eyes, she was not going anywhere.


“Okay, uhh..” I started, she made me feel nervous. “I’ll just ask Nicole- the receptionist, I mean. About this.” I said. Stupid Nicole she probably really hated me to put me into this situation.


I turned around to look out the window and ringed up Nicole.


“Oh. Dr. Malfoy.” She whined. “She was informed she was to go to Dr. Schkeign. Why don’t you just tell her NO?” Nicole cried. “By the way her name is…”


And what Nicole told me after that made me drop my phone. That name brought back lots of memories.


I turned around slowly.


“Umm. You are …. er….. Hermione Granger?” I almost stuttered.


Still in the same position. Her face hardened.


“Hermione Krum” she confirmed. And I looked down at her huge stomach.


I smirked.


And her eyes widened.


“Malfoy?!!” she half shouted.


Dr. Malfoy.” I confirmed. “And I shall be your doctor during your entire case.” I confirmed more.


And just to make it better, she screamed.

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Chapter 2: Not so much hatred.
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Last Chapter:


“Hermione Krum” she confirmed. And I looked down at her huge stomach.


I smirked.


And her eyes widened.


“Malfoy?!!” she half shouted.


“Dr. Malfoy.” I confirmed. “And I shall be your doctor during your entire case.” I confirmed more.


And just to make it better, she screamed.


Chp. 2: Not So Much Hatred.


Aw, fu- f- FISH! Did she have to scream?

I looked at my reflection at my side desk mirror.


“I'm not that ugly. In fact, I'm quite handsome.” I said casually. She still had shock stuck to her face.


“Ugly? UGLY! Who effin’ cares!?” she shrieked. Who knew Ms. Bookworm could try a curse? “I don’t want you as my doctor, ok?” Her voice now shaky.


As soon as she finished her last word, Nicole came bursting through the door. Dang, she’s slow today. Hermione screamed, like what, five minutes ago?


“I, uh, thought I heard a scream?” she said, half-way through the door.


“Is that supposed to be a statement? ‘Cause I believe that sounded like a question. Are you or are you not stating an information of fact about your thoughts?” Woah-ho-ho. When did I care about grammar?


She had a pathetic expression on her face. “What the heck, Dr. M?”

Hermione, red in the face, turned abruptly to Nicole.

“I do not want him as my doctor!!!” she half-shouted. I thank god for that. I believe I would’ve suicided than have to go through that ear-peircing scream again.


Nicole, eyebrows raised at Hermione’s sudden out burst, slowly turned her to me. All your fault, it seemed to say. I rolled my eyes. She turned back to Hermione, but Hermione was already out the door.


I waited, for what like short, 10 minutes. Nicole was back with Hermione at her heels.


Once they were in the room, Nicole turned to Hermione.


“Mrs. Krum, let me explain to you once again, your doctor has been assigned and there is no way of changing it.” Nicole glanced at me. “So I’ll let you two deal with your self.” Nicole actually sounded responsible, a miracle. She closed the door as she left.


Hermione, who was fuming when she came in, seemed to be in a very flushed position.


“Er… Dra- Malfoy.” She stated. “I guess I am sorry for the way I acted a while ago. So… well, I guess that was very immature of me.” She looked down at her small cantaloupe sized stomach.


Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Rewind. Was she actually apologizing? Cool.


“Ah, well…” I smirked. “Looks like you were a little misbehaving… but…-“


She scoffed. “No. I…-”


“Yeah, like heck you-“


“Shut up! I wasn’t that-“

"You were stupid"

" No! I know better-"

“Yeah right, Herms-“


“Don’t you dare call me ‘Herms’”


“Who cares?”


“The one who you’re calling to.”






“Ohh uh.... yes.”


“Thank you.”


“Your welcome.”


She just glared.


“Well. No time to waste.” I said. She snorted and rolled her eyes. I ignored that. “Heh, well after this commotion thing, I still have no idea why you’re here.”


She looked up alarmed. Then looked down and sighed. I waited. She looked up again. Then once again, looked down and sighed. What the heck was wrong with her?


She muttered something which briefly sounded like, “Stupid ferret.”


She stared me in eye, for a long time. She looked as if she were regretting something. Like she really wished hadn’t came.


She sighed. “Ok I am stuck with a baby and uh I was wondering… uh-“ She choked out the last part. “If chances of abortion were available?” She wasn’t even looking at me. She closed her eyes. And opened to look at the bottom of my desk so intently, it felt like she didn’t even want that abortion. WAIT! Did she say abortion?


“Did you say, abortion?”


She raised her eyebrows and looked up. “Any problem, doctor?”


I smirked. Hey eyes narrowed.


“No prob. Just fill out this form please.” I handed her a form.


She took the form and stared at it. Then I noticed her eyes moving. She raised eyebrows, which hints she has in fact read all the questions. She then looked at me and I handed her a pen. She sat at the chair in front in my desk and I sat in my chair. Once she finished, she handed me it. It looked something like this:


Date: December 10


Name: Hermione J. Krum

Date of birth: Septmeber 19

Occupation: Employee at Candee’s Candy Gift Shop


*other un-important stuff*


Age: 23

Reason for doctor: Abortion

Married: Yes

Spouse Name: Victor M. Krum

Work: The World’s BEST Quidditch Player


Children: None

Since when sexually active: few months


*more other un-important stuffs*


Firstly: Pishhhhhhh… do I care if her husband is “the world’s best quidditch player”?

No I don’t. I DON’T.


I looked up at her and I noticed she was staring at the window passed me. I don’t think she noticed at me staring at her. So I began to notice her features. Her perfect face with her brown eyes. Her curly misbehaving hair. Cute nose, and were those actually freckles on there? I look down. I see familiar things. Those lips. I remember that taste. Divine, daring, delicate. –Then the lips parted. Oh how I wish I were tasting those lips, now. The lips kept parting and closing together. WAIT. – Why were the lips moving? Why were-


“MALfoy!” the brown-eyed beauty’s voice brought me back to senses.


“ Gah!! a-wha?” I blurted lamely. She looked very uncomfortable. Then I noticed I was almost right on top of her. I was very close to her face. My hands were on the arm rests and she, very much, looked frightened. Probably it was because of this familiar position we were in.


“ Oh-h!! Ahh…” I jumped back and went back to my seat where I was ‘supposed’ to be sitting.


Her frightened expression was replaced with confusion.


I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly felt very hot. I noticed a blush coming up on my face. Me blushing?! That made me blush even more.


“That was weird.” I stated. I mean, what else could I possible say?


She wasn’t even looking at me… again. She seemed interested in her hands.


“You were… very close.” She looked up.


“Oh? Well,” I guess I can owe her an apology, I mean she gave me once for acting like an idiot earlier ago. Not saying that I had. “I'm sorry, like I said before. That was weird.”


I glanced casually at the clock, and jumped out of my chair. It was 5:47. I had to freakin’ go home like half an hour ago!


“Ul-rite Hermione, nice seeing you after such a long time.” I said, rushed. “But I have to leave. How about we schedule tomorrow? Same time?”


She looked confused and just merely nodded.


“Great.” I waited. I'm patient, yes. So I waited… … to long! “Umm. Goodbye?” I said.


She suddenly understood, as if just registered to her, and stood up. She was at the door when,


She sighed, “It is actually great to see you again, Draco. Until next time, then?” She smiled and left.


Until next time.

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Chapter 3: Love?...and its anger.
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.: Chp. 4:
Love?... And its anger :.






I paced back and forth in my room. I was in anger.




I tried my best to get rid of it, for not knowing why. But it kept coming back.




I couldn’t get the reason for it out of my head.





I glanced at the clock. 8:42AM. I should be heading towards the Hospital now if I don’t want Nicole fusing my brain cells out of me ears.






“Nicole! No NO! I love you Nicole! Why cant you understand my love?”


“Get out Karmickle. NOW.”


“But Nicole, how- “


“I don’t want to see your stupid face, Derik.”


“Stupid? STUPID! No!! NO! I DO NOT- no no no… my dear Nicole, I love you, my dear love.”


Once again every 9:00 in the morning, Nicole’s lover, Derik Karmickle, comes to gain her love. He clings to her, causes her high points of annoyance, cries for her, yells out her name in agony when she is not listening but goes soft when she goes frightened. And she in desperation even tries to claw his face.


Cute couple, if you ask me.


“Nicole. Nicole. Nicole. Nicole, love?” No answer. “NICOLE!!” Let me tell you, this Derik guy has high emotions. I mean the way he just said ‘Nicole’, it was just like Voldemort’s screaming, really loud, for life.


“Derik! Shut up, will you? I’m so tired of you! Please just get out!”


All the employees and nurses are so used to this that they don’t even have to look at this commotion.

“No.” He dropped to his knees. “Anna Nicole Smith, would you marry me?” Even though he had no ring he put his hands together in plead.


Nicole, not surprised, replied in a quite calm fashion, “No, Derik. Now please get out before I just lose it.”


“Anything for you, love. But this is not the last of my visits.” And he left.


To my utter surprise, Nicole started to giggle. Uncontrollably.


She turned to me, snorted, and said, “Can you believe the pain he’s in? His suffering? The crushing heartache he endures every time he sees me? Gosh, it just makes me so happy!”


All I could do was stare.







Stupid Hermione, where are you?


I seriously don’t know where my anger for Hermione was coming from but I know it wasn’t jealousy……… I just know.


It was in fact 4:33 and she was no where to be seen. Those 7 years of being perfectly on time just had to effect her today, 6 years after?


That soft knock, once again, came on my office door.


“In.” I simply stated. And she came.


Besides me taking in her appearance, she took mine. In fact, I had just come in from a jog. I was in my shorts, and I had a button-up t-shirt on that clearly wasn’t button up. Her eyes were stuck.


I rolled my eyes. “You can sit down, you know?”


She sat.


“Ok, well I eventually looked over the form you had filled out yesterday, and you qualify. If you do want that abortion I would have to check the state of your child.” I nearly grumbled it all.


Then her eyes, once again, traveled down my shirt.


“Hello? I'm up here…” Annoyance came like bliss. I flinched as flash of memory came to me; it had to do with un-buttoning shirts.


She looked concerned. “Whoa. Are you ok? Are you comfortable?”


What the heck? Comfortable?


“Am I comfortable? Me? No, no that doesn’t matter. I think you’re the one not ok. Should I take my shirt off? Will that make you feel better?”


Her expression, looked like a mixture of shocked and confusion.


“I,I…….no? Wait- the-no-I, uhh what?” she stuttered.


I just gave her a dirty look. And beckoned her to follow me to give her an ultra-sound, to see if her child was not fully developed, to see if it had a brain, heart, and its organ’s yet, to see it was breathing.

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Chapter 4: From the End of Those Days.
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From the End of Those Days

Upon entering the abortion room, I looked around to see if any nurses were there. Nope. None. So I basically needed to take matters in my own hands.

I turned around, and noticed Hermione already staring at me.

Smirking, I spoke, "Alright. Either the nurses are on a long-break or they finally had the chance to run away from this blasted place."

She kept her stare.

"Ahem. So looks like i would need to do the ultra-sound by myself." I piped up, giving her a sarcastic cheeky grin. Rolling my eyes I headed for the room.

I turned on the machine and asked her to lay down on the mattress. Simply I just used my wand to transfer the image of the baby to the machine.

We both stared at the computer screen in utter shock.

The  child was actually moving at the moment. Even as the handsome, sexy male, super intelligent, doctor I am, I never really had the chance to see something like this. CEWL.

Also, for some strange reason I had this strange longing for the child. I wished that it was my child Hermione was carrying.

I turned to look at her. She was not staring at the screen anymore but straight up on the ceiling. Her eyes seemed teary.

"Y-you want to do this?" I managed.

"Huh?" she locked her eyes with mine.

"Abortion." my voice now firm. I gave her a cold stare which she seemed to look right through.

She turned her eyes back to the ceiling.

"I'm- well... I am not sure."

I sighed, Why do I care about the mudblood anyway?

Her face abruptly turned again. She got up from the mattress and looked me straight in the eye. Like what the heck?

"Don't you ever call me a Mudblood ever again." she sceethed.

Oooh. Did I say that thought out-loud?? Oops...

Not knowing what to do of the heated yet, embarrassing situation I gave her the dirtiest look i could possible muster. And regretted it. Her hurt expression seemed to go deep.

"Out." I simply stated and walked out of the room.

Once we both had reached my office, I reminded her that if she were to abort she would be vanishing a baby who was breathing and alive.

Nodding, she came close to me, very close. She put her hand to my face and whispered, "Why'd you go leave me that day, Draco?"

Little nervous, I looked down below and smiled, "It was 5 years ago, honey."

She dropped her hand, her nails barely scratching me cheek.

And she stomped off toward the door. And she turned around tears finally falling down her cheeks.

"Those days meant everything to me, Draco. Don't you-"


She shook her head in disbelief and basically ran out the door.

This was not good. Not good at all.


Honestly, I didn't think we actually had a big relationship in the past.. no not at Hogwarts.. well was it? I didnt think so. Maybe she did. I hope she didnt. I still remember our very first night together....

We were head boy and head girl. Obviously sharing a common room together..

I was finishing homework, and Hermione was in the shower. Stupid Transfiguration!! Hard and neck breaking. I looked at the time, 1:23pm. Finally when i was atleast 3/4 way done I smelled this smell. A nice and pleasant smell, but it was drawing me out of my senses.. I looked up ahead of me.


She was in nothing but a fluffy white towel. Hair so dripping wet it looked straight. Cheeks and lips so rosy pink.. wow. She looked at me pleadingly, she had a look of concern on her face.

"Draco, my room... its locked. I can't get in!.."


"Well yes, I tried and tried with every spell i knew. And my clothes are in there too!"

"Maybe you can borrow mine i guess, heh." I looked at the time again, it was getting pretty late now..

"I guess so too.." she whispered with a smile, I'll never forget.

We walked up the spiral staircase to my room. As soon as i entered I began searching through my clothes. I froze. I smelled that smell again, insane. I felt her come close. She put her hands on my shoulders and turn me around..

"Draco..?" She whispered. And she kissed me, full on the lips. She kissed me to no extent. And I kissed her back. Her towel began shifting off, I tried pulling it back up, but then she shrugged it all off! And pulled me on top of her. I was getting out of breath from all that kissing.

"Hermione, no."

"Why not?"

I had no answer.

And I went back on top. And we drifted to a pleasure of endless melodies.


I thought to my self. What did cause our separation? The war of course! But still I knew Granger felt a longing for me then and it still hasn't escaped. This is not right. Not right.

Next day, I found myself waiting for Hermione. I wanted her to come. She needed to. I knew she would.

She didn't.

I tried calling her.
I went to her house.
I tried apparate somehow.

Where was this desperation coming from?

I guess I was afraid. Afraid of who's child it might actually be.

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Chapter 5: Possible Explanations...?
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Chapter 5: Possible Explanations...?


I glanced at the door again. And I mentally slapped myself. That was the umpteenth time I looked at it. Wasn't it about time she came? I read the clock, 2:53pm. Nicole had scheduled an appointment with Hermione to come and get that abortion as planned, why wasn't she here? I basically hate her for making me all depressed. I must keep my cool in front of her. Its an order, Draco Malfoy.

Lately, I have been mentally slapping myself so much in realization, that I remember physically slapping myself yesterday in front of Nicole. To my utter embarrassment she wasn't surprised.

I had regarded Hermione must've been carrying my child.. maybe. But not now!! Oh merlin! What was I thinking? It's been 5 years! God forbid if pregnancies lasted 5 years. Oh that gives me the creeps. But why do I care about Hermione.. Our small relationship was nothing, in fact I remember that we had went back to calling each other names after the war. And thats how I remember we left it. 

She's probably happy with Krum anyways. Thats why they made that child in her stomach. But abortion? What the hell... I feel like, caring. WHY ON EARTH do I feel like CARING?!! Merlin. Merlin! Merlin! Gosh! I was spazzing. I mentally slapped myself again.

Then I heard her knock. Once and very quiet.


She softly closed the door as she crept inside. She was wearing a floral skirt and an almost tight blouse today. She looked very pregnant. She had this glow on her face. She walked over in a very haughty attitude as if she was proud. As she came an aura of mist seemed to going as she walked. A wonderful floral smell - which scarily reminded me of a night with her - came. I was dazzled. She smiled.

"Malfoy." she nodded. I was still being dazzled by her entering in I only managed a, 

"Woahh." which, was not cool. She almost smiled. Time for more metal slaps huh, now, Draco..? This woman was driving me crazy.

"Well, Grang-"

"Krum." she snapped. I held back my snarl.

"-Hermione.. I need to know about that abortion..."

"Umm- no I dont think so."


"You heard me, I am not getting that abortion."


She suddenly looked like she was in this weird trance. Her eyes were glazed over. 

"You heard me, I am not getting that abortion." she repeated. What the hell? 

"Hermione..-" I started. But her eyes welled up with tears.

"Y-you heard m-me. I am not getting that.. that.. a-aa.. abortion!" she practically screeched.

"Herms, shuddup. I heard you the 1st time, actually. You're creeping me out. Is this a sick joke?"

"Draco.. Malfoy.. I am........ sooo... soooo. sorry.. Will you ever..ever.. be able to - to forgive..m-m-" and she would've fell to the floor if I hadn't caught her. But I cried out, as I fell on my knees. Merlin! She was heavy. I managed to get her on the couch. She grunted. Well, I understand that couch was un-comfy.. I mean, ask the expert! I had been sleeping on it for the passed few days.

I looked around the room. What could I do? I easily, knew that if i gave a few splashes of water she would wake up. But do I want her to? I tip-toed over and stole a peek at her face. Red face, tear stained. She lost her glow. I slumped back into my seat. I have patience. But I lose it when I get bored. I jumped up to get the jug of water. 

I brought it over. Should I dump the whole thing? There was only like 1/4 left. I might as well- BUT. (my hand was stuck in mid-air - jug tilted-) what if she gets angry? Her pretty floral dress ruined? OH!! I dont give a care. I tipped it all out. Her face was now wet. Her whole head was soaked. And she didn't even stir. Something was wrong. And when someone is not alright, my brain starts working. I could give her Boosting Potion. That would get her up, but it might effect the baby in a way she might not to be too happy with. Then what... I raced to my cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Arousing Potion. Weird name. I scanned over the Possible Effects section:

• Wakes the person up from a deep slumber (1dose)

• Wakes the person up from a shock (2doses)

• Wakes the person up from an Imperious Curse.(4 doses)

I stopped reading.... hmm... Imperious Curse. 

Her eyes did seem glazed. Is it possible? Had her trauma actually been Imper'iod? Only one way to find out. I walked over to the couch and tipped the 1 dose of the Potion. She started to look pale. But still asleep. So.. no deep slumber. I slipped another dose through her lips. She started to look more pale!! Her lips had turned white, and her face was looking, well, pale. Oh, Merlin. I am going to kill my patient! I was getting spazzy. I slipped two more doses in. (The second one by accident). I waited. I saw how the color was returning to her face. Thank Merlin. No. Thank you Draco Malfoy. You saved your pregnant enemy!! Hooray!

She stirred. Her hand automatically raised up the her stomach. She blinked a couple of times and turned head looking right at me. So she had been the victim of an Imperious Curse. Did she know? What could her reaction be when she realizes she in my office? Was she imper'iod here? So she couldn't know! Oh I better run and hide. What if she sees me? OH! But she is already staring. I could run. I noticed her face turn pink. Was she angry? I started to get up. 

"Malfoy." real scary.


"Why. Am. I. Wet?" she spoke through her teeth. Merlin, save my soul.


"No. Stop. You're talking way to fast!" she was getting frustrated.

"Well, honestly, I didn't think I should tell you, but you were under the Imperious Cur-"

She gasped. "So that's what the son of a bitch did to me!" she glowed red.

No comment.

"So you came. Did you know you were coming?" I really hope she did. I glanced at my open window. I can always ... jump.

"I - I - I heard Victor talking on the phone. He was really angry. He ordered me to go somewhere, I forget where. Then I don't remember." she looked dizzy. She sat on the sofa. "C-can you call V-Victor for me? I can't apparate and my feet really hurt." and she curled up on the sofa and closed her eyes.

ME!! ME??!!! WHY ME????? How come I am always stuck in stupid situations like these? I went to the files and I grabbed out Hermi's folder. I scanned through and got a contact with Victor Krum. I heard the bell ring twice and it stopped with a, 


Wow he had this really buff voice. No wonder it might melt Hermione.

"*ahem* This is Dr. Malfoy from St. Mungos. I have Hermione Gra-" Crap!!!! I knew he would kill me if I say Granger.

"HERMY-OH-NINNY??? You 'ave 'er? I 'have bin looking everee wear!!!!!!!" he all but made me deaf.

"Y-yes. She wants you here."

" I am coming!!!!!! Wate WATE!!!" then he hung up. Crazy man. 

A few minutes later Nicole's phone call came.

"Mr. M!! There, -there is Victor Krum here!!" she breathed. Clearly excited, "Shall I send him up?" from the other side I also heard Krum screaming "Dr. Malfoy!! Dr. Malfoy!!" Oh my!

"Yeah sure. He is here for Hermione." 


"Mrs. Krum."



"Oh, okay. Bye."

I immediately heard my door burst open. He is fast!

"Herms?" he whispered.

"Right here, Victor." so Hermione had woken up. 

"Where deed you go? I 'ave bin looking ever'ee where!"

Bastard, I thought, I mean, he was the one who Imper'iod Hermione. Well that's what she said. 

He strided right over to the couch and kissed Hermione full on the lips. A pang of jealousy hit me through and out. They finally stopped.

"Sorry. Vicky." she said. I almost snorted. "I had to do something important I guess." She stole a glance at me. What? This made no sense. Didn't she just say that Victor....? Oh I dont give a care!

"Let's go now. Tank yoo Dr. Malfoy."

I smiled. 

And they walked out, aww, how sweet!

I was boiling in anger. She always left me in weird states.

But I knew, I sure knew that she will come tomorrow. She had to. And I knew it. 




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Chapter 6: What? How? When? WHY?
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Chapter 6: What? How? When? WHY?

Ok. I know that I was obsessing over her and trying to deny it way to many times.

But her abortion was troubling me! Why? URGGH!! But I know I have to solve this Victor Krum mystery. I just know. Who had imper'iod her anyways? Maybe she was just driving me nuts. Like always. I tried to soothe my brain. So I sat listened to "River Flows in You". I replayed it atleast 50 times. Nicole came bursting into my office.

"AUGH!!! If I here that BLASTED song one- "


"Nicole!!!! MY LOVEE!!!!!"

"Oh! Mr. M, hide me!!!" she squeaked.

Before anything even processed through my brain, she was underneath my desk. I scooted my chair backwards and crawled underneath, I did not want to deal with him, either.

"Why don't you just ban him from coming? He couldn't possibly-"


Crap he was in the room now. Nicole put her finger to her lips. I knew that. But I was in a very uncomfortable position. I just had to change! While I removed my leg, I sort of moved closer to Nicole. And fate hated me so much to have Derik right there when our faces were inches away! Awgh! I was ONLY changing my damn position!!

"N-Nicole? Y-y-you and h-him? HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME?!!!!!!"

Then suddenly, very quick, like in a blink of an eye, ( I was blinking), she put her mouth to mine. Am I always the victim here? I was taken by surprise. She put her hands on my face and squeezed. She let go.

She acted as if she just saw Derik there. And Derik's shocked expression was price less.

"Oh!! Derik?! My! I- oh I - can explain-"

He held up his hand.

"Nicole, when I look at your face, I see the your shinning bright, beautiful, brown eyes. Nicole when I look at your face, I see you always glowing. Nicole, when I see you I have this strong passion of love for you. But here, no, no Nicole, I don't see why you are with him." he whispered harshly, pointing a finger at me.

"Oh so Derik, you-"

"No Nicole, you tell me, you tell me, how long has this been going on? No! Don't tell me that, tell me what is so spesh-ial about him? Does he care for you as I do? DOES HE NICOLE?? YOU'RE SORT OF JUST STARING AT ME HERE!!! No, no no no, sorry Im okay. Yes I am fine." he shuddered and looked up, blinking. "Nicole I know that you must care for him so, but what about us? Does it not matter to you? When you go to dinner with him, he takes your hand- dont you ever remember our dates? Oh how much you used to love me! But now? How dare you cheat!!! HOW DARE!!- oh! sorry, ok ok ok, Nicci, I forgive." he smiled.

Wow. This drama is highly amusing, I never knew he can sum up everything so quick. I glanced at Nicole, why did I have the feeling he planned it from before?

Nicole, looked a little confused. But then anger boiled up in her.




"You cheated, dear.-"


I clapped my hand over her mouth. I had noticed Hermione was standing in the doorway. Her face in shock and confusion. I was still nervously looking at Hermione, when i felt something wet on my hand. Nicole was crying. Her tears were coming very quick. I quickly removed my hand. And before I knew it, Nicole had her full body against mine in a tight embrace.

"H-h-he m-m-akes me soo-oo ANGRY! I c-cant stop b-b-eing- OOhhh!" she sobbed more. I glanced at Hermione, her face showed no jealousy, no anger, no shock, but she just seemed concerned and sorry for Nicole. But, Nicole quicly contained her composture. She shrugged everything off and whipped around towards the door. I had just noticed Derik was gone. Probably, apparated. Nicole, turned around at the doorway. Her lips tugged upwards at the corners.

"Thanks." she whispered. "But im sorry, I still dont have interest for big ego doctor's." she smirked and whipped around again and head out.

I looked at Hermione.

"Dont explain." she said.

I grinned.

"So sorry about yesterday." she mumbled looking at her hands.

"You were very confusing. Found out who imper'iod you?"

She glanced up and nodded. She chuckled,

"Yeah, and... thanks for saving my life." She made air quotes with her hands on 'life'.

"No probl-"

"I need to tell you something."

"Ok.. go ahead Hermione."

"Well, I know I just couldnt tell Victor about our relationship in school. I knew I he would get frusterated. But I loved you so much Draco I honestly did. In fact, I knew you had been working here around 1 year ago!" she almost laughed. "But I didnt come. I dont know why. But I knew you had left me for good. But I wanted something of yours, Draco. I really did. And so now I have it..." she smiled glancing behind me at the window.

This was dumb. So she took something from me?

"What'd you take?"

"I, I t-t-took. Well, umm.. oh Draco! I dont know how to explain it!....."

"I cant help."

"Ok I took your-" she mumbled the rest.

"What? Louder."

"I. Took. Your.... sperm." she whispered.

I was frozen. I think my heart was frozen too. But then I breathed. I laughed out once. I laughed out again. But then now I was doubling in laughter. She was joking right? I knew she was going to laugh to and say NOT. But she didnt.

"W-what?" I managed. "That...funny!"

She looked down. "I knew you wouldnt believe me. But dont all doctor's in St. Mungos do tests of some sort? They end up putting their sperm in the fridge. So... I took... yours. And-"

"Dont tell me! You impregnanted yourself?" I gasped. "With my sperm? What kind of human are you?!!"

"No! I love you Draco I really do.. I did this because I wanted something of you-"

I was deaf at the moment. I couldnt understand anything.

"B-but why? Is it even possible?" I looked up to her stomach. I gasped.

"And you wanted an abortion!! " I sqeaked.

"I know! Im sorry! Sorry! Victor found out, you see. So I had to come here. I tried not to do it. But then he imper'iod me! Ohmigosh! Im so stupid. But now I have to tell you this.. Forgive me, Draco?"

I was still deaf. "My child. Is in... there?"

"Yes.. I... I am just.. so.. crazy! But I really-"

"Yes you are crazy." I didnt remove my eyes from her stomach.


"And so am I."


"For what I am about to say."


"I am.. well.. sort of happy that you have something of mine."

She stared at me incredulosly.



"Draco, Victor and I are divorced now. Will you... umm .. Will you marry me?"

And once more. I stood there frozen.


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Chapter 7: Strawberry Pudding
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Author's Note: I want to thank you guys so much! The reviews were very encouraging! So here I put the next chapter up.

Strarberry Pudding

"Baby, wake up." No response.

"Wake up!" No response.

"WAKE UP!!" She bolted right up.

"I've been trying to get you up for the past decade, woman!"

Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t tell you of the delightful thing that has happened to me. Apparently, Hermione has moved in, right after her proposal. Cravings! She might've not shown it at work but it’s true. I can't wait till our wedding. Ahem.

I have been trying to wake her up so she could sign for the Baby Magazine she ordered. It’s freaking 7:00 in the morning and Saturday. The poor mail guy has been standing out there for the past hour and a half. The blasted guy won’t leave till he gets only her signature.

"WHAT!" Hermione seethed. That’s right. Hermione Granger can seethe.

"Mione, baby, the post man wants your signature for-"

"THEN GIVE IT TO HIM!" she all but bellowed.

I winced. "Baby, you need to be there to give the signature." I grinned. Hopefully she wasn’t in a bad mood.

She glared at me. But she got up. She was in her nighty and huge. Her hair was a birdie's nest. But she didn’t seem to care as she headed toward the door. She arrived and snorted at the mailman.

"Oh! ma'am! Here just sign right here." his voice cracked. He was probably terrified by the sight of her. After she signed her name he seemed to run away as fast as he could.

Hermione closed the door. I would've run away too if it wasn’t for the ecstatic smile she was giving me.

"Draco?" Hermione grinned while batting her eyelashes.


 "I want food!"

"Oh." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Have you checked the fridge?"

"We're out." she smiled sweetly.

"Uh...ok… of what?"

 "Strawberry pudding," she spoke, batting her eyelashes again.

Ok. So she wanted me to go to the freaking store at freaking 7:30 in the freaking morning for some freaking strawberry freaking pudding. Im feeling so freaking happy.

"Anything for you love!" I got my coat, grabbed the keys and went out still dressed in my pajamas.

Arriving at the grocery store, I browsed through everything. I picked up pickles and cheese, just in case she wanted me to prepare a pickle cheese blob like last time. I shuddered.

Arriving at the pudding section, I browsed to look for strawberry pudding. Spotting a whole big box I lunged for it, noticing it was the last box. But it vanished, gone, disappearing beneath by hands. I looked up. There was an old lady holding my precious strawberry pudding!

I needed that pudding! Or else Hermione would shred me into pieces. What do I do?!

"Excuse me? Ma'am?"

She old lady looked at me.

"You see, I’m in desperate need of that pudding your holding there. My fiance needs it. And since it’s the last box, I’m requesting you if I can take it."

She stared me up and down, and plunked the strawberry pudding box into her cart.

"My son is coming tomorrow, and I need it to make strawberry pudding cheesecake, his favorite."

No! I won’t let that wretched woman take it! NOOO!!!!!!!!!

 "How about this, ma'am, If you let me take it I’ll pay you double the price its worth!?!!"

"My son is coming tomorrow, from Africa, he's a researcher." she sniffed, "and he loves strawberry pudding!"

Researcher my ass. That pudding is mine.

"Please ma'am. My fiance is pregnant; she needs to have that strawberry pudding."

That wretched woman was walking away! I ran after her.

"Ma'am!!! No wait!! Pleeeeaseeeeee!!!" Now people were staring.

She abruptly turned around making me shake my hands like a mad man to stop me from falling on top of her.

"I'll give it to you if you pay me quadruple the amount. It's original price, not sale. And still it won’t be worth it, but it shall do."

I’m telling you, the woman is crazy. She was looting me!!

"Ma'am!! Please that's-"

"Take it or leave It." she snapped.

I scowled. She can just go die in a hole. A very deep hole. With snakes and lions. And they could eat her all up. Lemme see her get strawberry pudding now!

I checked out and started walking toward the car. When I suddenly tripped and fell. All the blasted grocery fell every where!! I started picking it up when I felt a drop on my nose. Then I felt it again. And again! I looked up... and I saw.... gray freaking clouds. IT WAS FUC- FUDGE'IN RAINING! I fell to the ground devastated. I hate this day.



Arriving back at home, I found Hermione sleeping on the kitchen counter. Normally, I would've been concerned, but who said that this is a normal day? Anyhoo, I dropped the sodding groceries on the floor, and went up to her. She automatically woke up.


"Draco? Honey, I love you." she whispered. "I missed you quite terribly." 


I smiled a huge goofy grin. This totally made up my morning.


"I missed and love you too, love." I whispered back. "Why are you on the counter?"


She snorted. 
"Maybe you should ask your mother."


"My mother!?" I all but squeaked. The last time I saw my mother was when she left for Italy with my father, which was two years ago. I had, though, earlier sent her an owl about Hermione's and my child. But that was a month ago. She couldn't possible be here! No! No! No!


"Yes your mother." Now that was unmistakably my very own mother's voice. I cringed and turned around. My mother had definitely changed. Her blond hair was cut short to her ears, and she was wearing some sort of robe.


"My, oh, my! Do tell me why you are so wet? Did you not take an umbrella, Draco?"


"I-I f-f-forgot." My mother is here. My mother is here. My mother is here. My mother is-


"Draco dear won’t you give your mother a hug?" I hope my eyes didn’t ball out, because it sure felt like it.


I penguin-walked up to her and stuck my arms out. She laughed.


"Draco! Have you forgotten how to hug?" Hug? What? There then I noticed my arms were sticking out. Suddenly I heard a muffled crack, and the front door opened. I turned and saw,


"Do you not lock your front door Draco?" 


My father!





We were sitting at the coffee table drinking tea. Everyone was staring at each other, oh so VERY awkwardly. But Hermione broke the silence.


"Have you brought my strawberry pudding, Draco?"

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Chapter 8: The Wedding Dress
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Having Mother and Father over is more than what I had indeed expected. The past days have been a blur with Hermione's pregnancy and Mother's non stop barking about the unborn child. We have yet to get married and Mother is a horrible wedding planner. Honestly, aren't mothers supposed to shrivel up and just give blessings? Please agree with me. I absolutely NEED someone who agrees with me right now. Why? Oh ho ho! You'll see.

It is Saturday morning. Ooooh Saturday! Waking up on a Saturday morning is like waking up to a new life. You don't think about what you did the past week and you just focus on what something new you could do today. Unfortunately, life detests me right now. And wishes me to carry the burden of The Wedding Dress.

Ah yes, The Wedding Dress. Mother is out of town with Father for some Ministry business, and poor poor me is stuck with this vixen- I mean, Hermione. (You see, I just can not help my inner thoughts and feelings about this pregnant Herms at the moment. She is not at all... appealing. At all.) Now let me rather explain to you what it means to carry the burden of The Wedding Dress. It means I must go with Hermione to every possible shop displayed in Witch Weekly's Blushing Bride Edition and merely assist and help pick out a wedding dress. Oh, I mean THE wedding dress. Apparently every woman has the sixth sense of knowing what dress will be perfect for The Day and also having the sacred knowledge of how long it will be till that very wedding dress is found.

My dear Hermione already is at the fireplace. Her hair combed backed into a high pony with a couple strands hanging around her face. She is wearing a short sleeved flannel shirt which frames her watermelon shaped belly. Looking back up her face holds the perfect smile. Her face is slightly tilted and she laughs. Wait. Why does she laugh? And only then I notice that I am only in my boxers and dear Wizzie ( the new house else Mother brought) is shaking, her eyes wide.

"Draco! Go wear something before you give Wizzie a heart attack!" she chuckles. "Hurry up! We need to get going!" Highly embarrassed by the situation I humble back into my room and change.


So we head towards our first shop. Brides and Blooms. I am already shuddering by the time we enter it. Shudder. Shudder. Shudder.

Suddenly a blonde girl comes straight to my face. And grins. This place is giving me the creeps, now I really want to just go curl in the corner and pretend not to exist.

"Helloooo Monsieur Malfoy! Welcome to Brides and Bloooooms! I am Jennette Belguard! How may I help you toooday?" Ah, the French accent.

Hm. Interesting question. Maybe you could just shut up and let us get on with our feeble lives. *cry*

I grin. "My pregnant fiance," I point. "needs a wedding dress." She doesn't even glance at Hermione.

"Oooooohhhh! Monsier Malfoy! You're here for a wedding dress! Hehe!"

No fudge, really? I didn't even know that.

"Come right this way Monsieur Malfoy! Let's go!"

She leads us right to the dresses. And she picks out a skimpy short, white dress with a million bows on it.

"How about this one Monsieur Malfoy? This is one of the best we have! Just came in yesterday! It's almost priceless!" She winks, as she takes out another skimpy dress. Honestly! Is she blind? My fiance here is VERY large. "And this one!" She takes out a very long dress that will probably only fit a skeleton. Now, I am pissed. "Is beautiful! This dress-"

"Listen! Miss. Belguard, I do believe that the wedding dress is NOT for me but for my fiance right here next to me. So I'd rather prefer if you'd show her. Second, I do recall mentioning that she is pregnant, and if you'd bring those pair of eyes you've got their to atleast look at her, you'd indeed notice she wont fit in those hideous short and small dresses. Now either you show us some dresses that would fit her, or we're out of here." The last part came in a deadly whisper, that made not only the blonde but Hermione go wide eyed.

[Insert a moment of awkward silence here]

"Y-y-yesss Monsieur Malfoy. Absolutely! My apologies!" The girl is stuttering now. Ha. Ha.

She turns to Hermione. "Come right this way, Ms.......?"

"Granger." squeaks Hermione, obviously distraught by what just happened. But hey, that girl was getting on my very sensitive nerves. And it's only our first shop and I am very exhausted.


"Draco, honey? How is this one?"

It's been two depressing hours, with about 30 depressing dresses. Or was it 40? Bah, I lost count after the 20th anyway. And so far I've probably seen enough white for a life time. That, I am sure of.

I get up from my lying position. ( I was indeed lying down trying to sleep.) And blink and open my eyes real wide. I can't even focus on the dress in front of me.

"Draco how is it? You're just staring at me here! Does it make me look fat? Tell me the truth." What? How can she possibly ask me that question?

"Baby, you are fat. No matter what you wear, you're gonna look fat. Okay, your pregnant. Get used to it for another 4 months or so." I reply yawning. What time is it? Maybe seven now.....



"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DRACO!" All I merely said was the pure truth! She asked for it!

I am way to tired to deal with her right now. I look over at what used to be a stock of dresses and notice there is only one left. I point to it.

"Try that. I'm sure you'll look gorgeous in that one. Like the blushing bride you are." I manage a feeble 'up' of the lips.

She yanks at that and stomps into the changing room. Crazy, that one.

After a three yawns later, she comes out. But in a fannel shirt and pants.

"Honey, I don't think that will be good for the wedding, I understand that you might be wanting to save money, but really-"

"Draco! Get your damn head straight! The one I just wore was bloody worse than anything in my life. It obviously isn't the one. I am tired. Let's go home."

All I registered in my head was "Let's go home."
That was all the convincing I needed.


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Please don't make the reviews too harsh :(