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Mr. Weasley and the Doughnuts by Kat Tales

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 1,051

Rating: 12+
Warnings: No Warnings

Genres: Fluff, General, Humor
Characters: Arthur

First Published: 12/01/2007
Last Chapter: 12/04/2007
Last Updated: 12/04/2007

Beautiful Banner by Ladywolf at TDA!!!!

“Ma’am, you said this was a doughnut, right?” The waitress nodded, her eyebrows raised, so Mr. Weasley continued,
    “Well, I obviously know where the ‘dough’ part of the name comes in, but where is the nut?”

Chapter 1: Mr. Weasley and the Doughnuts
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A/N: This is in response to a challenge by: Vera_Black_Potter. Enjoy!

"I owe it all to little chocolate doughnuts"
-John Belushi

    It was round, and very thick. There was a decent sized hole going through it. It had a nice glaze covering it that made it glisten under the fluorescent lights. On top there was chocolate frosting, and a thin line of bright orange icing zigzagging across it. Picking it up, Mr. Weasley put the hole to his eye, sure enough he could see through it. Sticking his tongue out, he just barely touched the frosting, and tasted a bare minimum of sweetness.

    “Sir?” A waitress was standing next to his table, a bemused expression on her face as she watched Mr. Weasley and his tongue.

    “Huh?” Mr. Weasley muttered, his tongue still on the frosting.

    “Uh, would you like some more coffee?”

    “Oh, yes please!” The waitress poured the coffee into his cup and started to walk off, however Mr. Weasley called after her,

    “Uh, Miss? What did you call this again?” The waitress looked at the pastry, looked at him, and said amusedly,

    “Didn’t you order it, sir?”

    “Well, yes I did, but I forgot.” The waitress sighed, and exasperated said,

    “It’s a doughnut, sir.”

    “Ah, yes, thank you!” Mr. Weasley responded. Then it obviously must have nuts in it. He wondered what kind. Slowly, Mr. Weasley took a large bite out of the side of the doughnut, nearly reaching the hole. Flavors burst in his mouth. The sugary cocoa, the pure sweetness of the glaze and the icing, even the doughy part, where it obviously got the first half of its name. There was no nutty taste though. So where were the nuts? Seeing the waitress go by again, he beckoned her over and asked,

    “Ma’am, you said this was a doughnut, right?” The waitress nodded, her eyebrows raised, so Mr. Weasley continued,

    “Well, I obviously know where the ‘dough’ part of the name comes in, but where is the nut?” The waitress glared at him, and finally said nastily,

    “Look in the mirror, sir.” She walked away. That confused Mr. Weasley even more. He’d never seen nuts in a mirror, and what would that have to do with the doughnut? Shrugging his shoulders he started eating the rest of the doughnut. Must be another strange Muggle word, he thought happily to himself. Once he finished off his doughnut, he took a sip of coffee, and glanced down at the Muggle newspaper he had bought. None of the headlines were very interesting:

    Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

    Milk drinkers are turning to powder

    Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

    Iraqi head seeks arms

    War dims hope for peace

    Well, he thought to himself, my doughnut was much more interesting then all those boring headlines. He looked around to see if anyone else in the café was eating something interesting. A pudgy old man was reading the same newspaper Mr. Weasley had just looked over, and he was eating a croissant. Two young ladies were chatting about something called ‘Oxford’; they each had a slice of apple pie. A woman with dark brown hair was handing her young daughter what looked like a cup of hot chocolate. A fair skinned, blonde man who looked in his mid-twenties had two banana nut muffins and a blueberry muffin. Sitting a corner with a cup of coffee in her hand was a tired, middle-aged woman with blonde hair. She was pouring over sheets of paper, a pen in her other hand, with the amount of writing covered paper in front of her; it looked like she was writing a novel. Mr. Weasley wondered if it would be an international bestseller. Sighing, Mr. Weasley turned back around and stared at his empty, doughnut-less plate. He had tried all those things everyone else was eating. Perhaps it was time to discover a new store with interesting muggle food in it.

    Mr. Weasley got up, threw away his trash, and was just about to leave, when he thought of something. He turned around and went up to the cash register. The waitress he saw earlier was taking orders, she groaned when she saw him. Smiling brightly, Mr. Weasley asked,

    “Could I have another one of those, uh…doughnuts? Actually, make that two.”

    “Yeah, sure.” The waitress mumbled. She quickly got two more chocolate covered doughnuts (one with a white icing zigzag, and the other a purple one) and put them in a paper bag. Mr. Weasley paid and went outside in to the bright sunshine. He took out one of the doughnuts and happily munched away as he strolled down the sidewalk glancing at shop signs. A few blocks, and both doughnuts later, when Mr. Weasley was brushing crumbs off his shirt, he noticed a sign posted on a café door. It said: “We sell all kinds of bagels!”

    “Bag-uls? What’s a bag-ul?” So he went in, and stood at the counter, waiting for someone to serve him.

    “And what may I get for you sir?” A waiter asked, when he finally came.

    “Can I get a er…bag-ul?”

    “You mean a bagel?”

    “Yeah, sure.”

    “Okay, do you want a plain one?” Mr. Weasley gave him a quizzical look and said,

    “Yes, alright then.” And the waiter went off, when he came back, he had a plain bagel, wrapped in paper.

    “Here you go sir, you pay at the cash register.” Mr. Weasley looked at the bagel he was given. It was round, and very thick. It had a decent sized hole going through it. Mr. Weasley looked at the waiter, and stated,

    “You know you gave me a doughnut?”

A/N: So? What did you think? I'll give you a doughnut if you review!
        Thanks to Lorie for the headlines! Those are actual headlines!