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Don't even think about it..... by Alison075

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 1,310
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Genres: Humor, Romance
Characters: Ron, Hermione
Pairings: Ron/Hermione

First Published: 10/29/2007
Last Chapter: 11/03/2007
Last Updated: 11/03/2007

Summary:
Ron and Hermione are married and have been for the past year and a half. One night Ron is trying to get some "action" from Hermione...If you know what I mean.
Will he suceed?

This meant to be a funny one-shot so I hope you like enjoyed reading it, because I enjoyed writing it.

Oh yeah, please don't forget to Read+Review


Chapter 1: No!
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

I do not own any of the Harry Potter Characters, though I wish I did.

 

Hermione was sat up in bed reading her book.  All was silent except for the television downstairs, where her husband Ron was.

A few minutes later she heard the television go off and Ron starting to make his way upstairs. She heard him go into the bath room and start to brush his teeth, she then heard him making extremely loud gurgling noises as he rinsed his mouth with the mouthwash.

She rolled her eyes and suppressed a laugh, typical Ron, she thought to herself.

She heard Ron switch the bathroom light off and make his way to the bedroom.  He walked in and then got into the big comfy bed next to his wife, who was still reading.

He sighed and moaned annoyingly loudly as he tried to get comfortable.

“Oooooooooh, aaaaaaaaaaaaah, mmmmmmmm-“

“Ron do you mind!” Hermione snapped “I am trying to read”

“Well, I am trying to get comfortable” Ron retorted “Anyway, haven’t you read that book before?”

“And what if I have?” Hermione enquired “I am exercising my brain and my mind” and she added quietly “which you certainly need to do more off”

“Hey! I heard that, I may not be as smart as you but I’m not completely dumb”

Hermione suppressed another laugh,

“Of course you’re not honey”

Ron watched his beautiful wife carry on reading; he then felt his mouth curve into a grin, and his right eyebrow start to rise.

“Hermione…..”

“What Ron?” She looked at him and saw the look on his face, oh she had seen that look many times before and she knew what it meant,

“No” she abruptly said

“What?! I haven’t even said anything” He spluttered

“You don’t need to, I know what that look on your face means” She said “I’m too busy reading”

“Ooooooooooooooh, but you’ve like read that book a million times before” moaned Ron

“I don’t care” Hermione said
“We haven’t done it in like ages” whined Ron
“We’ll do it tomorrow, I promise” Hermione bargained
“That’s what you said on Monday” Whined Ron again

“And?” Hermione Quizzed

“And, it’s Saturday” Ron pointed out

“Why I do believe it is” Hermione said giggling

“It’s not funny, I’m like dying of desperation, and my thingy has probably gone all shriveled up and small from lack of use”

At this comment Hermione burst out laughing, Ron couldn’t help but laugh as well.

“Ronald,  I do not believe that your ‘Thingy’ as you so proudly call it, is going to shrivel up from lack of use”
“How do you know?”

“Because it is physically impossible”
“And how do you know this”
“Because I do”
“How?”
“Ron!”

“Jeez! Sorry for asking”

Ron looked around for moment, then at his wife, who though was still reading she had faint smile etched across her face. He decided to try again
“But Heeeermioneeeeeeeee, you can make this my birthday present”

She hated it when Ron said her name that way, and he knew it.

“Ron, your birthday was 2 months ago”
“’yeah but if you give me gift now” he said with a saucy wink “You’ll be ten months ahead of everybody else!”

“No”
“Please”
“No”
“Please”

“No”
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaase”

“Noooooooooooooooo”

“Hermione, Please I’m begging you” Ron pleaded with his most adorable puppy eyed expression

“Awwww, you’re so cute when you’re begging for sex”
“I know”
“But still, No”

Ron sighed, and then laid his head back on his pillows.

“Do you find me unattractive?” Ron asked

“Hmm? “
“Do you find me unattractive?” Ron asked again

Hermione looked over at her husband. He was absolutely gorgeous, from the top of his flaming red hair, down to the tip of his adorable little toes. Toned, tall, tanned and handsome with dreamy blue eyes and a sexy, devilish smile, He was every woman’s fantasy, and she was married to him.

“Ron you are the most handsome, most sexiest  guy I have ever met, and will ever meet”
“I know”
“Then why did you ask me”
“Just checking” he said with a grin

Hermione rolled her eyes, and then leaned down to kiss him once on the lips, and then she pulled away.

“That, my dear Ronald is all that you will be getting from me tonight”
“For the love of-“
Hermione silenced him with a look

“Fine, fine, fine” he said

“You are a typical male, you do know that” she sighed “Always thinking about what’s in your trousers”

“I am not a typical male, what is wrong with me wanting to express the love I have for my perfect wife physically in the most beautiful and romantic way imaginable?”

Hermione snorted, “yeah that’s original, last week you referred it to as ummm, let’s see, shagging and banging, what else, bonking and fu-“
“Ok, ok I get your point”

He sighed yet again, and decided to give up; she wasn’t going to sleep with him and that was final. He rolled over onto his side and again started to make himself comfortable with again the moaning and groaning.

“Oooooooooh, aaaaaaaaaaaaah, mmmmmmmm-“

“Ok, ok, fine, fine”

“What?”

“You know what”

“What you mean us two…..”

“Yes”

“Oh, well to be honest I’m not really in the mood anymore” Ron said a- matter-of-factly “Yeah, I’m kinda tired, so I think I’ll just get some shut eye”

Hermione stared blankly at her husband, and then reached behind her and pulled out a large fluffy pillow and began to furiously whack her husband over the head with it.

“you-Ron-Weas-ley-are-the-most-egotisic-vain-annoying-stupid-irritating-man-who-ever-had-the-privalege-to-grace-this-earth” she said with every blow

“Ow! Get off of me you mad psycho woman!” Ron yelled

 Hermione continued hitting him apparently having not have heard what he had just called her, but then she stopped hitting him ,looking flushed with her hair all over the place she said “but I’m still madly and oddly in love with you”

Ron chuckled and pulled her into a tight embrace “You Hermione Weasley sure know how to make a guy feel special”
“I know”
Ron laughed again, and leaned down to give her a soft a gentle kiss

“What was that for” she asked

“That was for saying that you were still in love with me, and this;” he kissed her again, more passionately this time “is for showing you that I’m still madly and oddly in love with you, even though you have just attacked me with a pillow”

This time Hermione laughed and then kissed her husband, and they did as Ron would say ‘expressed their love for each other physically in a “beautiful” and “romantic” way’

“I love you so much, Ronald Weasley” Hermione gasped afterwards

“I love you twice as much, Hermione Weasley” Ron whispered in her ear

“I love you more” Said Hermione

“No, I love you more” Said Ron

“Let’s just call it even” Hermione smiled

“Ok, Let’s” Ron grinned

And with that they both fell asleep in each others arms, definitely sure that there was no one else on this planet that they had stronger feelings of love and passion for than each other.

 

 

 

A/N: So did you love it or hate it or just thought it was ok. This is my first One-Shot so constructive criticism is welcome, may I emphasize on the word constructive, not just plain rudeness. So like please leave a review thanks. Xxxxxxxxx

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