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When The Good Die Young by italian_american

Format: Novella
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 16,926
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Contains Spoilers

Genres: Horror/Dark, Mystery, Action/Adventure
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Lupin, Snape, Sirius, OC

First Published: 08/17/2007
Last Chapter: 12/14/2007
Last Updated: 12/14/2007


Darkness loomed over the little house as he approached, with one light showing brightly through a window. There was no need to blast in the door as it was already open and most welcoming. He followed the light inside, the boards creaking lightly under his weight and again it seemed to invite him in. He found her curled up by a lamp reading, her brown hair falling in her face. He hesitated, taking in the sight of her.
“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Wormtail?”

Chapter 1: Revelations
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  I own nothing, but the plot and Nichole Tonree everything else belongs to J.K.R!! I would also like to thank Serahn for fixing my story!!!!!        
Darkness loomed over the little house as he approached, with one light showing brightly through a window. There was no need to blast in the door as it was already open and most welcoming. He followed the light inside, the boards creaking lightly under his weight and again it seemed to invite him in. He found her curled up by a lamp reading, her brown hair falling in her face. He hesitated, taking in the sight of her.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Wormtail?” Her voice was soft; her eyes never leaving the book. He was startled when she spoke, but moved into the room so she could now see all of him, if she were to look up.

“Yes, too long.” He said with a squeaky, hesitant tone.

“What have you come up here for?” She closed the book and stood a head taller than him with anger evident in each of her features. With her wand at her side, she appeared tense and ready to attack if needed.

“The Dark Lord wants you to join him, Nichole; you could be very useful.” Horror flashed briefly on her face before she could compose herself.

“Never!” She spat out like venom. “I am not the coward! You are! I WILL NEVER DO WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! NEVER!” No longer was her calm appearance present, only fury radiating in waves of nearly visible heat from her blazoned eyes.

“You don’t understand.” He begged, visibly afraid oh her skill. He was surprised he was able to speak at all. “I was always the object of their jokes, always the one left out! No one ever expected little Wormtail to hold their fate in his hands. They always got what I wanted. James got the attention, Remus got the good grades. Sirius” He paused for a second looking away from her glare. “Sirius got you.”

“You betrayed them because you were jealous? You sent my Sirius to Azkaban, YOU KILLED JAMES AND LILY POTTER?! You destroyed my life all because, because! WHAT HAVE YOU COME FOR?!?” She was scared yet she didn’t move just waiting for a reply; fighting the urge to give him the business-end of her wand in payment for his treachery.

“You know where Harry Potter is?" His words sucked the life out of the room; it was as if the treason in his voice permanently etched the words into the walls. His wand was raised with a nasty curse already forming on his lips, small specks of regret swirled in his eyes. She didn't move, her wand gripped tightly now pointing at his head almost taunting him to try. Time seemed to stand still until released by a whisper from a non-existent wind.

“I know where Harry Potter is, and I will take his location to my grave.” She spoke defiantly refusing to say anymore.

“CRUCIO!” Nichole dropped to the ground thrashing in pain only letting heavy breaths escape her clenched lips. Her eyes filled with tears, seemed to focus on something. “This is for choosing him! NOW TELL ME!” Wormtail did not lift the curse; he watched her intently, almost enjoying the pain he caused.

“No!” was the first and only scream to exit her lips.

“Then you must die.” She had only seconds to relax before the green light escaped his wand filling the room with light.

Harry Potter sprung up in his bed drenched in sweat, and panting. His room was dark and his eyes couldn’t adjust to the light fast enough when the door burst open. Ron Weasley appeared in the door followed by a very worried Sirius Black, Molly Weasley, and Remus Lupin.

“What is it? What did you see?” Sirius asked as Molly sat next to the clearly frightened boy comforting him like any mother would.

Harry explained the dream to them in as much detail as he could remember.

“She didn’t scream at all! It had to last a few minutes, at least. She wouldn’t tell him so he, he --.” Harry couldn’t finish the sentence. For some reason he felt like he knew this woman his entire life even though he never meet her before.

“Did you see that? Did you see the light hit her?” Remus asked wearily. Everyone seemed afraid of Harry’s answer. Molly was trying not to cry.

“No, but who is she? How did she know you, Sirius?” His gaze stayed fixed in his lap, unsure if wanted to know the answer as Sirius and Remus exchanged a soft look of worry.

“I have to go.” Remus Lupin accounted getting up to leave.

“I’m coming with you!” Sirius demanded in an angry tone. He appeared ready to blast anyone standing in his way to oblivion.

“No it’s too risky for you, I’ll go.” Remus interrupted, bringing a quick end to a fast argument. “We will have this taken care of by tomorrow.”

“But who is she?” Harry demanded, wanting answers. He hated it when the elder members of the Order kept things from him. This woman was clearly important to both Sirius and Remus, and he could tell Sirius cared for her very much. He didn’t understand why they wouldn’t tell him anything about her. It was his dream, he had seen her.

“Tomorrow,” Sirius conceded. “Right now we have work to do.”

“Sirius you’re not leaving until you tell me!” Harry shouted, demanding information of his godfather. Sirius stopped at the doorway and turned, looking Harry in the eyes. The boys look must have convinced him on the spot, Sirius moved back to Harry’s bed, and took a seat next to him.

“Fair enough,” Sirius exhaled as cold look came across Remus’s face. “Since there is little we can do at the moment, what would you like to know?”

Harry had never seen Sirius this upset before

“Who is she?” Harry asked politely. “How does she know you? How did she know my parents?” He asked again faster not wanting to upset his godfather.

“Her name is Nichole Tonaree, she was your mum’s best friend.” Sirius made no eye contact with Harry, instead staring into the distance over his headboard. “She’s the one who finally convinced Lilly to go out with James, and once your parents were a couple and our two groups inter-mingled. It was only natural she and I began to have feelings for one another.” A tear escaped from the left eye of Sirius, sliding down his check before he brushed it off.

“Nichole and Lily were connected at the hip; where you found one you found the other. Peter and I both had a crush on her, when it came down to it she chose me. Not really a contest, but Peter hated me for it. The night your parents were killed, Remus and Nichole were dispatched on Order business. I had just returned from my mission that morning, so I was at home, in bed. I couldn’t sleep, so I went to talk to see James, only to find, well. Voldemort had already been there.”

Harry wanted Sirius to stop talking. He had not meant to cause his godfather pain, he merely wanted answers.

“Peter spotted me and began yelling! He accused me of betraying them, leading to their death. By this time Remus and Nichole arrived behind Peter and came running over to us. That’s when Peter blew up 'himself' along with the muggle’s. The blast knocked me back a few feet, nearly killing Nichole and Remus. When the Auror’s arrived, I didn’t resist. I thought they were all dead and saw no point in living if everyone I cared about was gone.”

Harry always wondered what had happened that night, and now that he knew, he wished he didn’t. Sirius didn’t even try to stop the tears any more and Harry couldn’t stand to see it, but there was one more thing he needed to know.

“If they were there and saw Peter blow him self up then why didn’t they get you out of Azkaban? Why couldn’t I have lived with Nichole or Remus?” The words came out before he could stop them. He wanted to know why his life went to hell that night, why he must stand living at the Dursley’s.

“When they woke up Remus didn’t remember what happened, Nichole did, but they didn’t take her seriously because of the accident. They said she was dreaming it all or lying, because of our relationship. They said she didn’t want to believe I 'killed' all those people.”

The room went cold and silent. Harry wanted his second question answered, but he wouldn’t push it, he had done enough already.

“They didn’t trust Remus because he was a werewolf and Nichole was still in recovering from the accident. If you could call it an accident.” They sat there for what seemed the forever just thinking. When Molly yelled from downstairs that breakfast was ready, everyone seemed shocked so much time passed.

“Morning Ron, morning Harry; help yourselves but be careful the sausage plate is still hot.”

“OW!” Ron screamed.


Breakfast went by slowly and Harry wasn’t paying attention to the conversations. He was looking for Sirius who didn’t seem to come to breakfast. Harry felt guilty for asking about Nichole.

"Harry, you ok?" Hermione asked "Did you see something?"

"Later," he sighed. He didn’t want to relive it again.

Halfway threw the meal, the door to Number 12, Grimmauld Place opened, everyone bolted to see who arrived. Remus returned, in his arms lay the still figure of Nichole Tonaree. Those who gathered around to see cleared a path as Remus made his way up stairs. Harry was confused. Why would Remus bring her body back here? Unless she wasn’t dead! The thought filled him with joy and he smiled heading back to the kitchen.

Sirius was still upstairs; in his room looking over old photos. He missed James; his brother. James for there for him through everything a Sirius swore to never forgive himself for not helping James in his time of dire need. Lily always pulled Sirius and James out of trouble even back when she hated them. She was very kind and always made sure they didn’t go get themselves killed. Nichole was the love of Sirius’s life and was there for him, even when she didn’t realize it. She was the type to fight along side those she loved no matter how much they protested. Incredibly loving and loyal, qualities Sirius found intoxicating.

“I’m going whether you like it or not, I love you, I want to fight and you’re not taking either away from me!”

Sirius smiled remembering the fire in her eyes each time he told her to stay behind. The argument was not new, every time Sirius tried to make her stay. Every time she refused. He couldn't help it, but now, sitting here looking over old photos, he wondered. Why wouldn’t she attack Wormtail?

"If you loved to fight so much then why didn't you do it when your life counted on it?" He muttered angrily to himself.

He sat up on his bed when he heard the door down stairs open, usually everyone apparated in. Who was using the door? He got up to look and as he headed down stairs he saw Remus; whose face read of concern. Sirius looked down to see Remus had Nichole in his arms.

“Sirius, where can I put her?” Remus‘s voice snapped Sirius out of his thoughts and motioned for Remus to follow. He led them to his room and shoved the album off his bed his mind not believing what he was seeing.

“W-What happened?” was all he could choke out.

“She’s not dead, but she will be if we can’t get a hold of Severus.” Remus had barley finished his sentence before he raced out of the room leaving Sirius to his thoughts as he gazed upon her. It wasn’t Nichole, or at least it didn’t seem like it. Her skin was paler than it looked when she was in Remus’s arms. Her hair was dull and her lips had no color. He couldn’t stand to see her like this; he couldn't even tell if she was breathing. When his senses found him again, he moved to kneel beside her. Finding her barely breathing he reached his hand up to her cheek gently moving the hair out of her face. Her skin appeared so fragile, as if smallest touch would break her.

He took her hand in his staring at her. This couldn’t be happening; her laying there desperately clinging to what little life remained inside her. He couldn’t help her; being powerless angered him. Seconds passed like hours as he sat waiting. In reality it was only minutes before Remus came back with Snape.

“There is a cut on her arm, so I believe that is where the killing curse hit her and the reason she’s not dead.” Remus explained as Snape moved over to the side of the bed opposite from Sirius.

“Then I will have to work fast in order for her to have any chance, if you two would leave me to my work.” He said slowly with an emotionless voice.

“I’m not leaving!” Sirius’s voice was shaky like the rest of him.

“If you want her to die then be my guest and stay.” The words were harsh even coming from Snape. Sirius knew Snape was right, and as much as he didn’t want to leave her; departed the bedroom with Remus.

A nod was all Sirius could manage as they entered the dining room, where everyone was finishing breakfast.

“How is she?” a frantic Molly came over asking in a hushed voice.

“Not to good.” Remus told her all eyes where on them as they ate.

Sirius played with his food and kept glancing at the door waiting for Severus to finish. Remus looked at his friend with empathy, Nichole was a close friend of his, but ever since the night that Lily and James were killed they hadn’t really spoken. Remus couldn’t remember how he ended up in the hospital; only just the explosion. When he woke up Nichole was yelling at an Auror

“I couldn’t just make this up! HE DIDN’T DO!” She yelled, screamed and fought with them every step of the way.

They asked him if he remembered; even after the truth potion he remembered nothing conclusive. His memories did cast Sirius in an unfavorable light, but he never actually saw Sirius attack anyone.

Nichole’s story remained the same and the Auror’s called it a dream her mind replaced with the real events because it couldn’t come to terms with the truth.

“How could you think Sirius could do that? He loved them like family.” She cried as she was taken from the interrogation room. It was the last time he saw her before he came to her home to find her dying on the floor. He did not want either to be the last memory of her alive and prayed for her to recover.

“REMUS! REMUS!” he was snapped out his thoughts by Tonks. “You ok?” She looked worried, but then again everyone did right now even the ones that didn’t know her.

“Yeah, fine.” Was all he mumbled before continued eating.

Mad-eye Moody came in with Tonks, his eye twirling in his head.

"How is she?" he asked to anyone that could answer.

"Severus is looking at her now, but she's in pretty bad shape."

Moody sighed, Nichole was a student of his before he had Tonks.

"Are sure it was Pettigrew? Nichole was one of my strongest fighters he shouldn't have been able to get any where near, killing her."

"Sir, she didn't fight?" Harry spoke up, he was confused and apparently so was Moody.

"Didn't fight are you sure, boy?" he nodded, Sirius went pale.

"You don't think she was trying to get her self killed do you?" Sirius whispered to Remus, who's answer was delayed trying to think of any of there reason she wouldn't fight.

"I don't know."

Time passed slowly as Remus and Sirius moved into the library. Sirius was doing anything to keep his mind off her.

"She wouldn't try to get her self killed." is all Sirius said under his breath the whole time they sat there. Remus had read the same page five times over before tossing the book to the side.

"Sirius, I doubt that is what happened, she wouldn't do that." Remus tried to cheer his friend up, but he wasn't really sure of it himself. Ginny Weasley then came threw the door,

“Hey, Professor Snape wants to see you guys.”

Snape just stood there at the door.

"So?" Sirius tried to see past him in the door way.

"I've done everything I can. She had a lot of signs of Dark Magic on her, I say that were caused in the last 10 years or so." They both paled, this won't help her.

"Are you sure that is all you can do?" Remus asked, it didn't look like Sirius could speak.

"Yes, as hard as it is to believe you’re not the only one who cares." Snape said walking away. The two Marauders didn't think much of it as they headed into the room and gasped. She looked better then she did when Remus brought her in. She had color back in her face and lips, but there were scars all over her arms and legs.

"What the hell has she been doing?" Sirius was speaking now the sight had made them both frustrated. Remus saw the scrapbook on the floor and began to look threw it.

"Where did you get this?"

"I've had it, I had pictures lying around one summer when I was locked up here so I made it." He shrugged. They began looking over the photos

"Wow, these are old. Look this is fifth year when we dyed Lily and Nichole's hair blonde."

"Let me see." Remus handed him the book.

"Yeah, they were so mad and this is when they dyed ours pink."

"We really should have seen that one coming." Remus laughed

"Wow, Remus look at this." The picture was of the six of them by the lake in 6th year. They were all linked together. James had is arm around Lily's waist, Lily had one arm on Sirius's shoulder who had his arm was wrapped around Nichole and she was reaching up to put her arm on Remus shoulder who had his arm on Peter's shoulder.

"It's weird how things change isn't it?" Sirius asked him.

"Yeah it is."

"Look at this one." Remus was pointing to a picture of Nichole and Lily in the common room laughing. "It doesn't look like the same person does it?" He was talking about Nichole.

"Your right, she was so full of life and now well..." His voice drifted off.

"So does that mean I'm a zombie now?"


Chapter 2: Open your eyes
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They looked at each other and then over. Nichole still had her eyes closed, but a weak smile on her lips. They were amazed an hour ago she looked close to death and now she lay their smiling. Opening her eyes, she tried to sit up with difficulty; Sirius rushed over and helped her up to sit against the back board.  “Thanks.” Her voice was weak and strained; they sat there mouths opened staring at her in shock.  She tried to hug them, only she couldn’t move the arm the curse had hit; it was fully bandaged to the shoulder.


Before they could move to help her, she had them in one handed a hug. “ I’ve miss you guys.” She released as she closed her eyes again and put her head on the wall. “We’ve miss you too.” Remus had managed to speak.

“How long have I been out?”

“Only a few hours.”

“Ok; good.” she opened her eyes and looked at Sirius. “Sirius you ok?” his eyes were filled with a mixture of joy and confusion.

“Yeah, fine… Nichole what happened?” he was staring at her arms and she looked down to notice he could see the scars.

“Crap, I know it looks bad, but it’s not what you think; it’s a long story.” She looked around frantic to find away around talking about this.


“We’ve got time.” Sirius started to push the matter; she looked nervous.

“How are you feeling?” Remus tried to change the subject, and she gave him a grateful look.

“Eh, ok I guess I’ve been better. I can’t move my left arm though.”

“Stay here I’ll get Severus.” He ran out of them room. The silence was awkward.


“Nichole?”  Sirius asked breaking the stillness the settled around them.


“ I wanted to thank you.” She looked at him slightly confused, and sighed.


“You’re the only one who believed I didn’t kill all those people, and it meant a lot.”

“Don’t thank me, I knew this whole time and know one listened; you could have been out of there a long time ago.” She said quietly hanging her head; he came and sat beside her turning her head so she was looking at him.


“It just helped to know that someone knew the truth.” Tears began flowing down her cheeks as she cried into his chest.

“I’m so sorry, I tried but…., I’ve missed you.”

“Don’t cry; I’ve missed you too; Remus told me, and at least you tried no one else did.” He wiped her tears away, she meet his gaze fresh tears brewing in her chocolate eyes.

“The past fourteen years was a nightmare come to life; Lily and James were gone, you were in Azkaban, Remus and I weren’t speaking, then Harry got sent to his aunts. I had no one left; this war has turned my life into a living hell.”

“There were more people you could have talked to; you never had to be alone.”

“I know, but I was so afraid if I got close that if something happen to them too, I would have been be worse then I started.” They sat in silence as she tried to calm herself; her head resting on Sirius shoulder as Remus returned with Severus.



“You’re awake, finally.”  His voice flat as usual, she rolled her eyes. “Now leave, Black.”

“No! You greasy hair serpent! There is no reason I need to leave this time!” The two stared daggers at each other.

“Sirius, only for a minute ok?” Nichole pleaded with him; she didn’t want him to go it was engraved in her eyes, but she knew it was the only way to stop a potential duel.


“Only for a minute.” He sighed as he looked at her and slowly agreed.

“Fine.” He walked past Snape and to the door “If something happens to her while I’m gone I’ll have your head!” He snarls only loud enough for Snape to hear.

“Yes, because we both know how much you’ve been there for her in the past.” Sirius drew his wand; positioning it just above Severus heart, daring him to say another word. Snape looked down at the wand and pushed the wand away with the back of his hand; unaffected by the threat placed upon his life. Remus guided Sirius out of the room closing the door behind them.


“Severus; nice to see you. How’s everything?” He eyed her with disappointment and pity. He despised the marauders that was no secret; Lily and Nichole how ever where the only friends he had and was disgusted to see what Nichole had turned to after that night; in her eyes she lost everything. He had no problem with Black being sent to Azkaban; But he would never forgive him self for Lily and Nichole’s death. Even though Nichole is technically alive; she is only a shadow of what she used to be, if Severus had never told Voldemort about the prophecy then maybe none of this would have happened, and the happiness that use to surround her would still be there instead of the dark cloud of misery that replaced it.


“Complicated; I would ask you the same, but from the look of you I already know.” She looked away from him.

“How did you know I was hiding the scars?” she glanced back at him pondering his face to see if any signs acknowledged that they were once friends. It flickered briefly; he always knew when she was hiding something even if no signs lead anyone else to see differently.

“My expertises do not only lie in potions Nichole, complex concealment charms have helped me in the past. Even so it does not take skill to figure you’d have some scars from the life you chose.” She nodded understanding that he was not pleased with her way of life; nor was anyone else. A spell emitted from his wand engulfing her in a white light.


 “The curse damaged your arm; a growth potion should have it up to some movement in a week.” He handed over a brown bubbling liquid. She eyed the mixture before drinking it; she grimaced and shuttered when she swallowed the disgusting brew. “I suggest you stay in bed, but I know too well that that’s not going to happen.”

“Well at least you’re not kidding your self.” He grunted in response. “Would it kill you to smile, Severus?” she questioned whilst a look of distaste for continuing to converse crossed his face.

“It just might.” He said and departed; He had made a joke; not one that made her double over in laughter, but a joke all the same the way he use to do when it was Lily, him, and herself; it was enough to make her smile. He was not gone for more then five seconds before Sirius came back in with Remus.

“I would tell you what Severus told me. If I didn’t already know you two were outside the door listening.” They wore a sheepish grin; she just stared at them half a smile playing on her lips.    




“Well since that saved us some time, why don’t you tell us what you’ve been up to for the past fourteen years?” She stiffed, the both knew she was trying to avoid that subject, but there was no way they’d let her.

“Does it really matter?” she sighed; she wasn’t stupid they didn’t care if it was important or not, they wanted to know why she arrived here on her last breaths.

“Does it happen to involve death eaters, and dark magic?” Remus used the information Snape had told them earlier to see if she would admit to it.

“Yes more so then you can imagine; look I know it looks bad, but I’m not quite the same person any more; I can’t say I didn’t go looking for fights ever know and then, and I didn’t exactly listen to what Dumbledore told me to either.” She was escaping with as little detail as possible, there was know doubt she was hiding something.

“Fine, I’ll tell you, ok now stop with the looks.  I sometimes did different tasks for Moody, and I took on the more dangerous tasks at work, but it was the stuff I did on my own that got me in trouble. I almost got myself killed at least three times not counting the explosion; I have lost all concern for my own safety; my own life even.” They didn’t expect her to confess to all that, but it was enough to set off Sirius.


“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?” Sirius yelled; jumping off the bed.

“Nothing, like I said I didn’t care, like right now if you and Remus wouldn’t have found me, and I would have made it then I would probably be getting up; readying myself to fight tonight.” She was brutally truthful. What they thought was true then, she went to battle to get her self killed. Sirius was glad she listened to her morals against suicide or else she probably wouldn’t be here today.

“Do you ever stop to think someone would care that you were dead!?!” Remus joined the argument; they both looked hurt. Shame radiated in her eyes. She had no problem telling others what she did, but they were different. They cared and telling them was putting her life in a new light of what she was and what she had become.


 “Look you two aren’t the only ones who tried to stop me from this life style. Mad-eye, Dumbledore, Molly, Andromeda, even Severus. The war took over my old life, so I did what I thought I should do. I had no intention of dying, I wanted to live to see the end of this war, but if my life was the cost to become one step closer to that victory then so be it I didn’t care.”  She explained her voice soft and filled with regret softening their angry towards the mistakes she had made. She tried standing her legs were flimsy,


“This makes no sense if you’ve been fighting then why didn’t you come back and re-join the order then you would have had help.” Remus was trying to understand, Sirius was just pacing back and forth.

“I didn’t want help, and I didn’t come back because I couldn’t stand to re connect with everyone only to lose them later, it was easier on me to know that maybe if I did this alone then no one else would get hurt. Besides it’s not like I was never around.”

“Neither Remus or I have seen you in the past fourteen years what do you mean it’s not like you were never around!?”

“I was around even when you didn’t know it; I saw Remus two months ago.”

“Nichole if that was the case then why didn’t you come talk to me?”

“Remus it was a full moon. I was doing what I always did sit there making sure you didn’t hurt yourself like we use to do every full moon. Tell you the truth, I tried to be there any time I knew you would be alone.” She shrugged sitting back down on the edge of the bed her legs shaking slightly.


“What? Why? When? How come you never stayed then?” Remus sat down on the chair across the room and Sirius stop in his tracks. She was making no sense; she was acting like she belongs in a room at St. Mungo’s.

“I promised that I would be there to help when you needed me, and I was; I didn’t stay because it would have been too hard for me, ok?” Remus remembered sensing that she was there many times during the years, but he just passed it off that he was guilty at the way things ended and just missed what was.

“To answer your next question I wasn’t there last month because the girl with the bright pink hair had gone with you.” She looked out the window. “Can we go get something to eat I’m hungry.”

“I’ll get it you stay.” Sirius got up to leave.

“No I want to come.”

“You’re coming whether I tell you to stay or not aren’t you.”


“Yep, so come on.” She found part of her balance and began walking forward unsteadily. They lead her to the kitchen, where anyone who was in the house was gathered, over something on the table. Nichole stood behind Molly with out making a sound to see what they were looking at.

“Don’t touch the necklace seems to have some sort of Dark Magic incasing it, the rings I’m not too sure about yet.” Moody told everyone; on the table was a locket in the form of a rose, an engagement ring, and two wedding bands.

“Moody I think you’re losing your touch, you can’t even tell a few simple communications and protection spells from Dark Magic any more.” Heads turned, only now did they notice Nichole standing there. Molly turned around, screamed and they hugged each other.

“Molly it’s good to see you.” She said returning the hug.

“Nichole good to see you’re awake, if that’s who you really are, how do we know these aren’t some way to talk to the Dark Lord?” She sighed and began picking up the jewelry from the table.


“There is only one locket like this because I transfigured it myself in fourth year when the war began to pick up; It has been around my neck ever since and the one it is in communication with belongs to Lily Potter. These rings are my engagement ring and wedding band.” She put the locket back on her neck and the rings on her finger before addressing the second wedding band. “And this you may notice was the same ring stolen from the evidences room of the ministry fourteen years ago come November; The criminal left no trace and not even the great Mad-eye Moody could find out who had broken in.” she smirked as Moody nodded.


“I should have known; only someone who I taught would be able to come close to out smart me.”

She laughed. “Wow someone has an ego. I should have been caught; Who else would break in just for a ring?” She handed the ring to Sirius who was shaking his head. “I believe this is yours.”

“So you’re the one that stole it? Why does this not surprise me?” he half laughed half sighed looking at Nichole with wonder. It was this kind of unpredictability that made her so attractive to him, and he smiled knowing that after all these years maybe she still loved him. Molly’s yelling snapped him out his trance.


“I told you that your life style was going to get you killed, but no you don’t care you go run off, and…and…If you would listen to me……”

“Molly I think she gets it.” Arthur came over to stop his wife.

“Arthur, how have been?” Nichole asks hugging him and tries to start a conversation.

“Good, sorry about Molly it just……”

“No I deserve it, beside red heads love to yell at me.”  She smiles at Molly who just shook her head.


“You seem to be feeling better, so I need to ask why you didn’t attack Pettigrew?” The room fell silent all eyes on Nichole as she grimaced, who was silently cussing at Moody whose obsessive interested in details always made a situation awkward for her.

“Ok about that, I was expecting a deatheater just not Peter I thought it would be Malfoy or Lestange; so when Wormtail showed up I had to change my plan of action because no one sends him on his own; the order didn’t do it so most likely You-Know-Who wouldn’t do it. Taking on two or more deatheaters was out of the question, because in the end they would have gotten the information they wanted. So I had to distract him long enough to forget why he came. It worked.” She explained.


“O yeah it worked perfectly, except you almost killed yourself.” Sirius frowned at her, and she immediately turned her attention to some other face in the room.

“Key word almost, do you honestly think I’m proud of this? I mean to be killed by Peter is insulting; he can barley perform a patronus charm. Now are you done yelling at me now? I think you about covered the past fourteen years.” Nichole sat at the table.




“No, not any where close; you’re going to be hearing about this for a while.” Sirius took a seat on one side Remus on the other.

“Excuse me I’m a grown woman I can do what ever the bloody hell I want.”

“Then would you act like it. You may be a cat, but you only have one life!” Nichole slapped Sirius on the back of the head with her good hand.

“I’m a TIGER! Not a cat, that’s like calling you a Chihuahua!” Ever one burst into laughter.

“Ouch, that hurt.”

“Good, Now I have to ask.” She turned to address the teens sitting around listening; who she had just realized where there. “You guys are either up to something, or the most well behaved teenagers I have ever seen. Which one is it?”


“ Don’t let looks fool you, those two,” Remus said referring to the twins “ Are the biggest prankster to hit Hogwarts since we were in school, and these three have been in more trouble in the past four years then you have apparently in the past fourteen.” He’s talking about Harry, Hermione, and Ron.

“Ah, ok let me guess you four are Molly’s kids Ginny, Ron, Fred and George or George and Fred, sorry about that. I don’t think I know who you are.”

“Don’t worry about it…”

“...Happens all the time.”

 “I’m Hermione by the way.” She held out here hand.

“Nichole, pleasure to meet you Hermione.” They shook hands before she turn her attention to Harry. “I know who you are, if you didn’t have your mother’s eyes I could swear you were James.”


“Yeah, I’ve been told. So you were friends with my mum?”

“Yes, your mother was kind of like my mother at Hogwarts; ‘Nichole you can’t do that’, ‘Nichole you really should do your homework Quidditich can wait’. She was one incredible witch; you could tell her a spell once and she would almost always be able to do it perfectly. It frustrated the hell out of me.”

“Wow, the kind of sounds like Hermione; must be a muggleborn thing.” Ron laughed as Hermione smacked him across the back of his head.

“You played Quidditich. What position did you play?” Harry turned his focus away from his arguing friends and back to Nichole; a smile on his lips when he heard about his mum.


“Harry’s a seeker too.” Sirius told her.

“Ha, I knew it I think you owe me some money Sirius.” Harry wore a confused look; she laughed and filled the boy in. “When you were born Sirius, James, and I bet on what position in Quidditich you would play. Sirius said beater, James said chaser, and I said seeker. So for your first Christmas I got you a toddler’s first snitch; your father almost killed me.” She smiled at him.


“Did you and my dad not get along?”

“No, we got along fine, we just liked to irritate each other;I use to call him my annoying brother-In-law. Its good thing that we did get along or else I would have never pushed Lily to go out with James. Lily was a pretty good seeker for not playing on the team; I think it is because I always had her race me for practice and of course perfect Lily could master almost anything.” He seemed to understand. Nichole was amazed the more she looked at him the more she saw her friends and it set off a morbid feeling.

“Nichole, are you by any chance my Godmother?” the question startled her a bit.

“Yes I am. Harry look I know your Aunt is a bitch and your Uncle is a pompous asshole; So living with them couldn’t be beneficial to you, but you had to live with one of your Mum’s blood relatives and sadly they were the only ones. I am truly sorry for that I did try to reason with Dumbledore, but he swore it was for your own and with my new found life style it wouldn’t have been safe for you.” She told him she was not going to lie to the boy he deserved to know and keeping things from him would do know good; him being Lily’s son he would have found out some how. 



“Hey Nichole, I was thinking….” Sirius interrupted shooting Nichole a glare. She wasn’t suppose to tell him; Dumbledore told her he was to not know he had other options in the matter; and there fore not bring out his newly discovered temper.  

“O that can’t be good.”

“Ha ha, ok well anyway; what would you have done if it was Malfoy or Lestrange?” Sirius questioned her decision and she laughed.

“That conversation was ten minutes ago Sirius, but to answer; I was personally hoping for Bellatrix so I can repeat what happened in fifth year.” She smiled

“What happened in fifth year?” Harry asked.

“She beat Bellatrix to a bloody mess; it was the only time anyone had ever seen Bellatrix come close to crying.” Sirius answered proudly almost as if he had done it himself. The kids just looked at her.


“How did you do that? Bellatrix Lestrange is one of the most deadly witches alive.” Ron and Hermione had stopped fighting to listen.

“Lily and I were by the lake studying for O.W.L.S, Bellatrix decided to choose then to insult us, she did this so much that we didn’t pay attention to her any more, she got pissed and used some curse on Lily. I was furious; we began dueling, but when she disarmed me she let her guard down so I punched her, and that’s when I broke her nose it pretty much took off from there. Bellatrix was excellent at fighting with magic, but she is so absorbed with her pureblood ways that muggle fight was below her giving me the advantage. ”


“We walked over in time to see Bellatrix curse Lily and James ran over but before he could get his wand out Nichole was on top of Bellatrix punching her, it turned ugly fast. No one even thought about breaking up that fight.” Remus told them trying not to laugh.

“By the time it was over I had a black eye, a sprained wrist, a few bruises, cuts, and scratches. She had a swollen lip, a broken nose a fractured arm, and bruises; if she was a muggle she would have need stitches on her arms, cheek and neck.”

“Girls fighting and Guys fighting are to different things, guys throw a few punches and get bruised; girls try to kill each other. I would choose to fist fight a guy before I ever fought a girl especially this one.” Sirius found the whole event rather amusing.

“That night is when I first turned into an animagus, which is probably why the scratches she got were so bad.” She recalled.


“I remember that fight very well; it was the only time a full body bind need to be used on students.” The turned to see Dumbledore walked in peering at them over his half moon glasses.  “Even when those two were in my office they didn’t stop trying to finish each other off.”

“Professor Dumbledore, good to see you.” There was an edge of bitterness in her voice she didn’t even try to hide; she never even paid the Headmaster another glance

“Mrs. Black it’s good to see your well.” He said; she laughed sourly.



“Ablus, good to see you’re just in time for dinner.” Molly came out with a train of food following.

“Always a pleasure Molly, but I have to go take care of some things at Hogwarts. I just came by to see if Mrs.Black was awake and to drop by to tell you the next order meeting with be tomorrow. ” Nichole sat there happy that her life seemed to be looking up; for some reason she went to get her wand, the pocket was empty she franticly checked her other pockets, it wasn’t there.

“Hey, does anyone happen to have my wand?”

“I do, and I will give it to you if you tell me what kind it is.”  Moody came back, holding the object in question taunting his student.



“I just recited a part of my past in full detail and you still don’t believe it’s me! You’re paranoid old man; it’s a ten inch long, willows with a core of Demiguise Hair, now give it here.” She demands, he tosses her the wand.

“Next time hold on to it; you should have learned that your first day at Hogwarts.”

“O right sorry about that, I’ll try to remember next time I’m unconscious.” Moody just nodded and sat down to dinner. The meal went by with out anyone else asking Nichole what she had been up to so she enjoyed it; it was like she never left. After the meal the kids had left leaving everyone else free to talk.


The room was comfortable silent as Nichole tried helped Molly clean up. “So Moody, when can I go back to work?” everyone groaned.  “You’re joking right?” Sirius asked.

“Does it look like I’m joking?” Sirius could help, but begin to stare again; the admiration, the fire it was still there and every time he realized that he’d fall in love with her all over again. 


“I should make you just hide out here, but I know too well that’s not going to happen.” Moody told her; she laughed at him.

“Well it’s not like I can do anything at the moment any way; I have no use in my arm.”

“Hey then how come she has a choice?” Sirius whines.

“You don’t have to stay here; I mean if you want to go back to Azkaban.”  Remus told him as he begins to pout.

“No, thank you.” 


“You’re not seriously thinking about letting her go back are you?” A concerned Molly asks Moody.

“Molly, this has happen four times, I always go back and if I’m lucky when the death eaters find out I’m alive they’ll kill Peter.”

“You can’t cheat death forever Nichole maybe you should stay out of public view for a while.” Arthur suggests.

“I think I’ve done well so far, besides you all don’t have to worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

“But you don’t have to any more that’s why the Order was created so we can look after one another whilst this war is going on.”

“Arthur remind me to call you if I ever need a lawyer; I know that’s why the Order is here, but after what happen last time…I…I can’t do that again it took to long to rebuild from the last collapse of the Order and I don’t want Dumbledore thinking about….just never mind I can’t do it.”


“You don’t want Dumbledore thinking about what?”

“About putting me in Mungo’s again. Molly thanks for dinner I’ll be around the house some where.” She said quietly before running out of the room ashamed she had never fully admitted to her self that that’s what almost happened; to say it out loud just proved that maybe she wasn’t sane. How could she be if Dumbledore was the one that wanted to send her? She had made the mistake of telling him that she thought her necklace had glowed red meaning Lily was trying to talk to her; the thought that maybe Lily was trying to talk to her was comforting, but proved that maybe she was mentally ill. The pain that night had caused, took control of her thoughts some times; she was only human and she just couldn’t handle it.


As much as she wanted to believe she wasn’t invincible.   “No, you’re not insane; broken, depressed, and scarred not insane.” She had told her self again and again, but when she laid in bed at night the same thought always surfaced. “What if I am insane? Alice and Frank are there threw the effects of this war; if I go and there’s no reason then what does that make me?” tears rolled down her cheeks as she roamed the house, she entered a room filled with names and burn marks. The Black family tree; she didn’t know why, but she choose to stay in here; maybe it was seeing all the people who went against what they were told and made a difference; it didn’t matter, in some way she was comfortable here.


“That explains why she lost all contact with people.” Remus sighed, Dumbledore had told him she was going threw a difficult time, but never had he mentioned that she was this impacted by what had happened. He felt anger towards the old man, he would have looked for her if he had know this and made amends; he just thought she needed her space to grieve. “She didn’t want anyone to think she belonged in Mungo’s.” Sirius fist and jaws were clenched; none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for Peter. He made plans to speak to Dumbledore the next chance he got. Was this all because she believed he didn’t kill those people?


“The poor dear; she used fighting as an excuse to get away, I knew there was no way someone could be that set on going to battle without a reason; I just thought it was for revenge.” Molly sat at the table shaking her head.

“The only way we’ll know for sure why she did what she did, is to ask her which I don’t think is a good idea at the moment.” Arthur tried claming everyone down, but it didn’t to seem to work.


“I’ll go talk to her.” Sirius left the room; he had no idea where she would go, it would be easier if they were at Hogwarts when ever something went wrong she would be sitting on a rock at the edge of trees by the lake.  For some reason he decided to check the black family tree; he wasn’t quite sure why but something was telling him to, and there she was just sitting with a candle lit staring blankly ahead. The dim light shading her face enhancing the distress she was feeling.


“Nichole.” He came and sat next to her. “You okay?”

“I don’t know any more.” She sighed and glanced at him then back at the wall.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No, I’m beyond anyone’s help.”  Her voice quiet as a tear glistening in the candle light rolled down her cheek.

“Don’t say that, there’s nothing wrong with you.” He tried to convince her, but she didn’t believe it.

“I’m glad someone thinks that.”


“Really after all this are any of us completely sane?” she closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. Even after all those years in Azkaban he was still the same man she had fallen in love with; his personality, his smile, everything she longed for all these years was still there. Nichole didn’t understand how anyone could even think of him as a killer; he was to gentle and loyal to his beliefs; the only way she could see him come close to kill anyone is if the hurt his friends or certain people in his family.  


“Nichole I wanted to ask something about us.” She looked at him, but this time he looked away “Are we still married? After all this time I figured you had moved on…..and if you have that’s fine I won’t interfere; I just need to know.” She threw her good arm around his neck. The smile that appeared touched her eyes for what seemed like the first time in years they sparkled with genuine happiness.

“Sirius, I broke into a Ministry evidence locker, stole your wedding band and am still wearing my wedding band and engagement ring; and still go by the name Black. Unless you have moved on then….” He kissed her.


“Never, because you’re all I have ever been able to think about these past years and I would be a bloody fool not to realize how much I need you in my life. I love you.” He said softly.  They way she felt was indescribable it was as if she had been re awaken. The person that she used to be that was stored away in the essence of memories had finally broke threw the melancholy fog that had in cased it for so many years. 

“I love you too.” She spoke; the joy that she felt radiated in her voice. Her life will never be what it once was, but this was sure better then what it had been.

I need reviews in order to continue writting and please I don't mind criticism, but just tellng me it sucks doesn't help so if I need to change something then tell me what it is. THANK YOU!!

Chapter 3: House of Memories
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When Nichole woke she was confused; she couldn’t quite remember where she was or what happened.  She sprang up; causing her arm and the rest of her body to ache. She took a look around; the room; it was decorated in red and gold; lined in various quidditich posters. The events of yesterday came flooding back to her; she smiled and got out of bed to find a note on the door.



     Some of the order dropped by your house and got some of your things. Your robes are by the bed.




There they were a bundle of black robes on top of a set of chest she knew be filled with various things of importance. She slipped the robes on and headed down stairs.


Sirius has woken up this morning to find Nichole was still asleep. He just stared at her; she looked peaceful. When he was at Azkaban these were some of the images that haunted him. Simple little things like just watching her sleep; the thought filled him with pain that he was probably never going to see her again.


But, there she was; if he wasn’t able to see the bandaged arm he probably would have thought the past fourteen years had been a dream. He slowly got up trying not to make a sound that would disturb her and made his way down stairs.


It was still rather early, but it seemed that everyone was already awake. “Morning.” He took a seat at the table and filled his plate.


“Morning, Sirius is Nichole joining us for breakfast this morning?” Molly asks refilling the plates on the table.


“Probably, she is still sleeping.” She nods heading back to the kitchen.


“Morning, Padfoot; Everyone.” Remus called as he entered.




“Where’s Nichole?”




“O, I’m surprised you let her out of your sight.” Remus laughed joining him at the table; Sirius shrugged. “Hey, Tonks and I are going to stop by Nichole’s house to pick up some things for her.”


“Can I come? I want to see the house.” Sirius asked in a whisper so no one else would hear; even though he already knew the answer.


“No. Besides you already no what the house looks like. You lived there for four years.”  Sirius stared at him.

“Same house?”


“Same house. Sure the stuffs different, but everything else is pretty much the same.”


“Then you’re taking me with you. No. Stop. Don’t interrupt.” Remus had opened his mouth to protest, but Sirius would have none of it. “I won’t be going against what Dumbledore told me either. He said stay at home well that was my home for four years so technically I am listening.”


“This isn’t a matter of sneaking out of bed at Hogwarts. What if someone sees you?” Remus protested his friend’s actions and ways of thinking, but his mind was made up changing it was going to be hard.


“Then they’ll say “Aw look at the cute dog.” Besides what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Remus sighed. Yep there was no way he was changing his mind now. So he did the only thing he could think of.


“Fine, get ready and for the love of Merlin don’t get caught.”  Smiling Sirius raced out of the room. Remus sighed and followed him; this had disaster written all over it.


The two apperated to the house; It was a white two story house with oak shutters, an oak door and a widows walk. Flowers lined a stone walk way that lead to the front porch that wrapped around the house with a classic white picket fence lining the property.  


Sirius walked slowly to the door taking in the familiarity.


“So, what do you think about this one?” He had asked her.


“I love it. What about you?” He just smiled she was wondering around the rooms in pure delight he didn’t really care what the house looked like if she was happy he was happy.


“Yeah, I like it.”


Sirius quickly snapped out of his daze as he walked threw the front door. He was in an entrance room with three arches. To the right lead straight into the dinning room. Covered in hardwood floor; it was painted with white and had a rectangle oak table in the center. There were five windows in the room four on the far wall facing the side yard and one on the front wall facing the front yard; all lined with lace curtains.


An open window allowed you to see the kitchen from the dinning room. The kitchen had glossy white tiles lined in black on the floor. The walls were again white with a line of black going around the center; the counter tops were also black. A sliding glass door lead out to the back of the porch; both rooms glowed in the sun light.


In one corner of the kitchen was a booth with black seats and a white table; in the other was a spiral metal stair case that leads to the second floor. Sirius slowly made his way up stairs, and when he reached the top he wasn’t surprised to see that everything had stayed the same.


This room was kind of like a library is had book shelves were built into the wall and filled with old school books, magazines, photo albums, spell books. Of course they didn’t own enough books to fill a whole wall, so they kept house keeping things on the rest, stuff like broom polish, and potion ingredients. There were two tables in the room; one was up against the opposite wall of the books with two chairs on the side, a lamp and papers rested on top. Another was in the middle of the room with a cauldron on top and scatted with random materials. The empty wall was covered in full length windows looking out into the back yard.


Looking out into the back yard he remembered this was one of the things he liked the most about the house. It was about five acres it all lined in the same white picket fence. Flowers lined the edge of the porch and the steps. There was a make shift quidditch field.


“If I can get five out of ten shots past you then you have to make dinner.” The afternoon was bright; the sky was blue as they flew around the yard.


“O’ come on I’m a beater not a keeper.” He complained they both hated cooking.


“And I’m a seeker not a chaser, so the field is even.” She shot back a smile of victory on her lips.


“Fine.” She flew to the edge of the court and shot he block with ease.


“Damn.” Then another and another; she was on her last shot score her four him five.


“Last shot don’t mess up.” She focused on the hoop.


“Don’t plan to.” She whizzed her way down the field, and as she got closer she kissed him. Quickly she broke off the kiss and sent the quaffle flying threw the hoop. Laughing at his stunned expression she smirks.


“Hmmm…. I think I’m in the mood for a burger.”


His gaze still lingers on the field; it really didn’t seem like that long ago they used to be happy. He walks to the opening in the book shelves into the hall way.


The room to his right was the bathroom, and the one to the left was the guest room; he kept walking another set of stairs that lead back to the entrance room; in front of that was another extra room. Those weren’t important what he was looking for was at the end of the hall.


Their room; with its red walls lined in gold and a gold carpet. A king sized bed with red and gold drapes was positioned between two windows with red curtains; there was a night stand on each side of the bed each with a lamp. The sheets on the bed were of course red with gold trim same as the pillows, but those had the Gryffindor lion on them.  There was another door that branched off to another bathroom.


He sat down on the bed; Peter was a dead man as far as he was concerned. He took all this away and he would not get away with it.


“What do you think she would want?” Remus walked in; Sirius was lying on the bed.


“Clothes to start.” It had been a good hour since they arrived. Remus didn’t mind he knew his friend just need some time to think and so did he. Back before this he had always been over here or at Godric’s Hollow; his friends were always kind enough to let him stay at their house after a full moon to look after him.


“Well I guess you can do that I’ll just go see if there is anything down stairs.” Sirius nodded “You know it won’t always be like this, once the war is over things can go back to normal. Or as close to normal as they can get.”


“I hope you’re right Moony I really do.” He got up and began looking for some chest. He checked every where until he remembered he could use magic.


“Accio empty storage chest.” Merlin knows what stuff would come from the attic if he just summoned a chest.


 Four chests came threw the door; it gave him an idea.


“Accio, things Nichole Tonaree/Black uses the most in this house.” Not his brightest idea because at that moment things came flying out of drawers, closets, and cabinets; he was quickly covered in robes, jeans, shirts, makeup and he was even struck up side the head by a brush.


Remus was down stairs when he saw a cup fly out of the cabinet and upstairs. Laughing he followed it back to the bed room and double over in laughter when he saw Sirius.


“Ok, shut up and help.” When he finally stop laughing he untangle Sirius and helped him sort threw things. Once all the clothes and robes were packed they began looking threw the other items.


“I never did understand which make-up is which so just throw it all in the chest. Same with the jewelry.” Sirius picked up a dark blue circular box and took off the lid; it was filled with glowing water. Gold letters shimmered to the surface.


“The heart can’t be hurt by….What is that suppose to mean?” Sirius questioned.


“I think your suppose to finish it; it’s a pensive she must have put a password on it.” Remus studied the box carefully.


“I knew she had something to hide. Merlin what does this mean?” They just sat there staring into the box hoping the answer would pop out.


“Wait I think it’s ‘The heart can’t be hurt by things that the mind has locket away.’” Sirius guessed and sure enough the letters disappeared and a list of events and dates appeared.


“How did you guess that?” Remus asked staring at him.


“Does it matter…. Now what to see first.” Sirius scanned threw the events.


“You can’t do that.”


“Sure I can she’s hiding something and I want to find out what.”


“Sirius, don’t…….” Too late he had taken his wand and touches it to the letters and they were both thrown into pensive.


A younger Nichole walked down the halls of Hogwarts. Her hair hanging loosely by her neck; her black robes following behind her; it was dark and well past when she was suppose to be in bed. Sirius guess it was about fifth year and by the fading marks on her cheeks it was a about a week or so after the fight.


She walks straight to the lake before falling to her knees and crying. A twig snapped from behind her and she quickly turned around wand drawn.


“It’s a little late to be sun tanning don’t you think.” Severus Snape said with his expressionless tone walked over and sat down next to her. Sirius drew his wand until he remembered that he couldn’t do anything about it.


“Hey….” She said sniffling back some tears.


“What’s wrong?” she gazed across the water.


“I’m leaving Hogwarts.” This took him by surprise.


“Why?” fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.


“I’m…I’m… expelled.” She sobbed into her knees; Severus awkwardly reached over and began patting her on the back trying to comfort her.


“What possible reason could they find to expel you?”


“The fight; God I’m so stupid, Bellatrix’s parents went to the ministry and since I’m the one who threw the first punch and caused damage, by law I have to leave. It’s not fair I’ve work so hard to get what I have…..and….and….O god what am I going to do now. I’m pureblood for god sakes sure yeah my family is blood traitors, but I’ll never be able to fit into the muggle world.”  She cried.


“When are you leaving?”

“I have to be out by the end of term.”


“You’ve still got time, besides Lily can help you.”


“I can’t tell Lily!”


“Well she is going to notice your not there.”


“I know, but she is going to think it’s her fault.”


“You’re always looking after everyone Nichole and this is what happens, you end up getting the blunt end. Friends are there for a reason; we can help, but only if you let us.” She smiled and hugged him.


“O’ Thank You Severus Thank You.” The memory slowly faded to a sunnier day.


Lily and Nichole were studying at the edge of the lake; they were laughing. Cheering then erupted from a group of people at the top of the hill.


“Potter.” Lily growls and begins walking towards the crowd; Nichole follows suit. Snape was in the center coughing up pink bubbles.


“Leave him ALONE!” Lily yelled over the noise. The two marauders remembered this very vividly actually and it was strange seeing it from someone else’s point of view.


“All right, Evans? James voice had become very pleasant, making it deeper and more mature.


“Leave him alone,” Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of great dislike. Nichole shared the same look, but said nothing. “What's he done to you?”


“Well,” said James, appearing to deliberate the point, “it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…”

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Wormtail included, but Lupin, still apparently intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily or Nichole..

“You think you're funny,' she said coldly. “But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”

“I will if you go out with me, Evans,' said James quickly.

“Go on… go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”

Behind him, the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

“I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,” said Lily causing Nichole to chuckle.

“Bad luck, Prongs,” said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. “OI!”

But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Wormtail roared with laughter.

Lily, whose furious expression had twitched for an instant as though she was going to smile, said, “Let him down!” Nichole stared at her friend for a moment surprised and the change in character, but still said nothing.

“Certainly,” said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, “Petrificus Totalus!” and Snape kneeled over again, rigid as a board.

“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. Lily and Nichole both had their own wands out now. James and Sirius eyed them warily.

“Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,” said James earnestly.

“Take the curse off him, then!”

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

“There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. “You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus “

“I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”

Lily blinked. Nichole stared at him stunned.

“Fine,” she said coolly. “I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”

“Apologise to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

“I don't want you to make him apologise,” Lily shouted, rounding on James. “You're as bad as he is.”

“What?” yelped James. “I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!”

“Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.”

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

“Evans!” James shouted after her. “Hey, EVANS!”

But she didn't look back. Nichole didn’t even try to go after her friend instead she just watched her run off.

“What is it with her?” said James, trying and failing to look as though this was a throwaway question of no real importance to him.

“Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate,” said Sirius.

“Right,” said James, who looked furious now, “right”

“O’ you think?” Nichole snapped at James, but he ignored her.

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

“Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?”

“Petrificus Totalus!” Nichole screamed and James and Sirius both fell over. Snape had fallen from the air and before he could even reach for his wand she shouted the curse again.  

She turned and eyed up Remus and Peter daring them to reach for their wand. No attempt was made; the crowd quickly dispersed away from her.

“Do any of you have any idea what you just did?” She eyed them dangerously.

“Well I believe we just preformed daily entertained of high class magic on Snivelly over there and….”

“SHUT IT BLACK!” she directed her attention to Snape first and bent down next to him.

“You’ve done a lot for me as a friend so I’m returning the favor. You find her and swallow you damn half-blood pride and apologize because I would really like to think you didn’t mean what you just said. Even so you screwed up.” She lifted the curse on him. “Go.”

“Aww. What a perfect couple the grease ball and the ball of fury.” James retorted; she closed her eyes; shaking off the comment.


She waited until Snape was in the castle before releasing them.

“What you like a fight before you kill your prey, Tonaree?” Sirius and James both wore a smug expression and it infuriated her.   

“How dare you.” She spoke gruffly trying to control her anger.

“How dare we what? Pick on your boyfriend.” She had her wand at Sirius’s throat before he could laugh at his own remark.

“You both think you’re funny. Do you know what you just did? No. O’ big surprise there.” She didn’t even give them a chance to speak. “Lily is hurt and in case you idiots don’t know this. No one and I mean no one hurts my friends. Sure this applies to all girls, but let me be clear I have nothing to lose.” They backed up a few steps; her voice was murderous as she removed her wand from Sirius’s throat.

“Are…Are… you going to kill us?” Peter squeaked hiding behind James.

“No, you guys honestly think this is a joke. O’ its Nichole Tonaree, run before she kills you. I’m not deaf I know what you guys say about me. At night I turn into a soulless demon out searching for blood.” They were slightly taken back by the hurt in her voice.  “If you’re going to make fun of me for defending my friend then fine go ahead, but I will not stand by and watch you make her cry.”

“Cry, wait what?” James began to look troubled.

“Why do you think she ran away, your prank just made one of her friends call her a mudblood.”

“Whoa, you can’t blame that on us we had no control over what he said.”

“No, but I can blame you for hurting my friend; turning him and Lily against each other.” They said nothing in response. She began to turn and walk away before she thought of something.

“James, look you’re trying to hard impress her tone it down, ok? Also, stop with the whole gods gift to women act, you look like an arse.” She continued walking away. Sirius and James exchanged a look of confusion before they chased after her.

“Tonaree!.....Nichole wait.” She slowed her pace but continued walking. “Why are you helping me?”  James asked when they reached her; she shrugged.

“Someone has to look after her when I’m gone.” Eyes widened in shock.

“Gone? Nichole where the hell are you going? Sirius took her by the shoulders and spun her to face him.

“I don’t know yet, I was thinking America there muggle community is good there, better than there Wizarding that’s for sure. But I’m not sure; I guess I’ll have to decide soon term ends next week.” She said shaking out of his grip and began walking again. 

“You’re leaving the Wizarding world, but why?” Remus joined in; Peter just stood there. James and Sirius looked confused.

“I was expelled, I have to the end of term then I am expelled from the Wizarding world for unnecessary attack and violence towards another student. As of next week I’m no longer a witch.” She said this with great sadness; almost as if the full realization just kicked in. “Maybe I should tell Lily before word gets out. I’ll talk to you guys later.”

Before she left Sirius hugged her; why he didn’t know at the moment they weren’t even friends so he pulled away when he realized what he had done. She gave a confused smile and then walked away casual wiping tears from her eyes.

Colors swirled around them and soon Remus and Sirius were back in the bed room.

“That proved nothing!” Sirius screamed in frustration.

“Except we were complete arses.” Remus added; Sirius kicked the pensive. The letters appeared again only this time read.

“Secrets lie in the tears shed over what you believe to be right.”

“No more riddles!” Sirius yells.

“Wait, Sirius she cried on your shoulder in the second memory right?”

“Yeah, your point?”

“It means what she is hiding has something to do with you and snape since she cried on him in the first memory.” Remus concluded.

“You know Moony, you may be on to something.”


Authors Note; The Second memory was mostly the work of the wonderful JK rowling I just added Nichole in and also thankx for the reviews they make me want to write more so keep them coming.

Chapter 4: Why can't I remember?
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Colors swirled around them and soon Remus and Sirius were back in the bed room.


“That proved nothing!” Sirius screamed in frustration.


“Except we were complete arses.” Remus added; Sirius kicked the pensive. The letters appeared again only this time read.


“Secrets lie in the tears shed over what you believe to be right.”


“No more riddles!” Sirius yells.


“Wait, Sirius she cried on your shoulder in the second memory right?”


“Yeah, your point?”


“It means what she is hiding has something to do with you and snape since she cried on him in the first memory.” Remus concluded.


“You know Moony; you may be on to something.” Sirius reached for the pensive before Remus reached out and stopped him.


“No! No more memories not now. We have to get back before someone realizes you’re gone. Now come one.” Chests packed and ready they made their way back to the entrance room. There was one room Sirius hadn’t seen and he had a feeling why.


“Remus where did you find her?” The last room was to his right it was the sitting room. Sirius didn’t wait for an answer he turned and headed towards the room. Remus’s hand caught his shoulder.


“I really don’t think that’s the best idea.” Sirius shook him off and entered.


Once he entered he kind of wished he had just left. The book she was reading was still on the table everything was in order except there were blood stains on the carpet and a little way away from it was a burn mark. Probably from were the killing curse hit after it cut into Nichole’s arm.


Sirius was beyond angry at the sight. Peter tried to kill her in her own home the place that they all spent so much time in when the weren’t on business for the order.


“I should have been here.” He said sorrow and regret mixing in his voice. “I should have come to see her right after I escaped. I guess I was just afraid……”


“What good would that have done? The first placed they checked was here. You would have been sent right back to Azkaban.”


“It would have been worth it.”


“For you maybe. For her no.” Sirius sighed knowing he was right it was just it had been two years since he escaped, and not once had he stopped by to see her or ask anyone to get in contact with her.


“We should get back.” With that Sirius left the room not once looking back, but when about to leave the house all he could do was stare.


When they got back Sirius took the stuff up stairs. Nichole was still asleep peacefully; he quietly set the chests down throwing the pensive to the bottom, and placing her robes on the top.


He scribbled down a note and stuck it to the door. He was about to leave, but something stopped him. He turned around leaned down next to where she slept and kissed her lightly on her forehead.


She smiled; at first he thought he had woke her, but she just moved deeper into the blankets. Chuckling softly he made his way back to the kitchen to make it look like he had been there the whole time.


  Harry was sitting at the table eating and laughing at Ron and Hermione who were arguing.


“Morning Sirius.”


“Morning Harry, sleep well?” Sirius asked grapping a plate for himself.


“Yes very. Where’s Nichole?” Harry asked concerned.


“She is still asleep.”


“O, Well this may be weird, but last night I had a dream again….” Sirius turned his attention to him worried. “Nothing bad it was a memory from when I was younger. It’s weird because I was never able to remember it before.”


“What was it about?” Sirius asked curiously. It was very rare the boy had anything, but nightmares any more.  


“Well I think the woman in the dream was Nichole the thing is I was about six years old.” He had Sirius’s full attention now.


“Here Harry come with me…” Sirius motioned him forward. They had gone to Buckbeak’s room. “Wait here I’ll be right back.” He ran and quietly got the pensive back out of Nichole’s trunk and ran back to Harry.


“Harry I went you to think of the memory so I can put it in the pensive.” The boy closed his eyes; the silver thread flowed into the box.  “You know how to use one of these, right?” Harry nodded and for the third time today Sirius went into the pensive.


The sun shone brightly and a park scene began to unfold around them. A little boy with jet black hair set on bench crying.



Harry was about six years old his hair was messy, his glasses were taped in the center, and his clothes looked five sizes too big. He silently sobbed on the bench.


A woman sat down next to Harry. There was no doubt this was Nichole. She was about twenty-eight her hair was pulled back, she was wearing jeans and a t-shirt; you could already see a few scars and bruises on her arms.


“Something wrong?” she casually asked trying not to frighten him. He wiped his tears on the back of his over sized sleeve.


“No.” He sniffled.


“Ah, ok well is someone around here looking after you?” she asked, but the look on her face showed she already knew.


“No.” He repeated holding back more tears and rubbing his knee.  She sighed and bent down in front of him rolling up his jean leg right above the knee.


“Did you fall?” he nodded.


“I was here with my aunt and my cousin then they left. I was looking for them and tripped on the side walk. Now my leg hurts and I don’t know my way back to their house.” He began talking really fast his voice cracking in a useless attempt to hold back his tears.


She reached up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “There, There dear. It’s going to be okay.” She got her purse, pulling out a Band-Aid and her wand. Harry eyed her in confusion and she laughed. “It’s okay this will help.”


“It’s a stick?” She continued to smile at him.


“Not just an ordinary stick.” Waving her wand she muttered a spell and the wound began to heal a bit. She placed the Band-Aid over it kissing her fingers the placing them over top. “See all better. Now let’s see if we can get you home.”


“I’d rather not.” He said softly.


“Ok then. How about this you and I can go shopping to get you some clothing that actually fits?”  


“O no miss I don’t want to be any trouble.” Nichole grimaced slightly when he called her miss.


“Trouble no. It will be fun so what do you say Harry, want to come?” Harry gasped at hearing his name it was then Nichole realized her mistake.


“How did you know my name? I never told you.” She thought for a moment before smiling.


“Magic.” She said simply. “Now come on let’s go.” She held out her hand for him. The answer satisfied him because he took her hand and jumped off the bench.


“Wait, hold on.” She tapped his glasses with her wand to repair them. “There we go.”  The two began to walk away.   Colors starting swirling again, but there was no pull signaling they were leaving the pensive.


“Sirius that was the whole dream. Why are we not leaving?”


He thought this over and could only come to one conclusion. “I think the pensive found a memory Nichole already had in here dealing with this so it’s connecting the two.


Sure enough the lights dimmed; the day had turned to night with a sparkling full moon. Nichole was walking towards Number Four Privet Drive with shopping bags on one arm, and holding a sleeping Harry in the other.  


She made it up to the porch shifting the boy in her arms so she could knock on the door. It was a soft knock so she wouldn’t disturb Harry. Angry grumbles could be heard from the other side of the door.


It opened slightly to reveal an unhappy Petunia. “What are you doing here?” She said the word you with a great amount of disgust and dislike. 


“Petunia it is lovely to see you again.” The same tone was used, but she kept her voice low weary of the sleeping child. “As you can see I have come to return my godson. Who you seemed to conveniently forgot on you trip to the park this afternoon.”


“I would never forget my dear nephew! He wandered off and I spent the rest of the afternoon looking for him!” Petunia said appalled. Nichole stared at her; skeptical of her act and Petunia opened the door wider to reveal the reason behind her concern. Dumbledore, Moody, and Kingsley stood in the living room.  


“Well it doesn’t matter.” Nichole sighed. “If you would please show me to the boy’s room so I can put him down.” Petunia’s eyes flashed with panic before she answered.


“Uh... second door on the right.” She said pointing up stairs her voice filled with false kindness. Nichole gently set the shopping bags down and carried the boy up stairs.


The room was not Harry’s that much she could tell, but she laid the boy on the bed anyway. Tucking him in, she kissed his forehead and put a photo in his hand. “This will be our little secret. Good Night Harry.” She whispered.


Before leaving she turned gazing at him with a motherly love. She slowly shut the door and her smile faded as she walked back down to where everyone waited.


“Well Harry’s asleep.” She told them with an edge of despair in her voice. “Dumbledore, Moody, Kinsley nice to see you all.”


“Nice to see you to Nichole. I talked to Remus he would have been here, but considering the night it just wasn’t possible.” Kinsley told her and she almost look relieved.


“I’m kind of glad he’s not. I don’t need anything else to deal with at the moment.”


“You really should talk to him.” Nichole just started at Kingsley for a moment before looking away.


“No, sorry not going to happen.” She shrugged it off and Petunia cut in. Harry looked at his godfather questioning her attitude towards Remus, but he just shook his head. 


“If your done complain about your life I would like to say how dare you! I was worried sick about the boy and this whole time he was with the likes of you. God only knows how much you corrupted the boy. Tomorrow he is going to be parading around here talking about dragons, flying brooms, and things of that nonsense. What are my neighbors going to think?  ”


Petunia looked worried, but it was clear it was not over the fact her nephew had been missing. Nichole was indifferent to the fact Petunia was yelling at her.


“O don’t start with ‘o poor me’ crap Petunia if you were so worried about Harry then you would have made sure he was with you when you left the park.  As for the magic when I found him he had scrapped his knee on the side walk, and I used my wand to heal it so he wasn’t in pain. O and I fixed his glasses, but other then that there was no magic what so ever; I took him shopping because if you haven’t noticed he was drowning in your sons hammy downs.”  Nichole’s voice was stern and clear her fist clenched in an effort to control her anger.


“Ms. Tonaree it would have been helpful if you would have contacted Mrs. Dursley.” Dumbledore said his voice light and even.


“MRS. BLACK! My name is Nichole Antonia Black and I wish to be addressed as such. As for contacting Petunia I called her before we went shopping, look.” Her voice broke in anger and she led them to the answering machine. A digital red one was blinking and Nichole pressed the play button.  


“Petunia, its Nichole I’m calling because I found my six year old godson wandering around the park by himself. I’ve decided to take him shopping because it seems he had lost a lot of weight since the last time you took him shopping. I will bring him by later.” The message cut off, but even over the phone you could tell Nichole was annoyed.


“O well that’s all then a mere misunderstanding, It was nice seeing all of you, but I must get back to work.” With that Kingsley Apparated out of the house. 


“I think we all have things to get back to.” Moody said and was about to Apparate when Petunia started to talk.


“I don’t want her coming around here anymore. She dangerous and who knows what will happen to my little Dutters if she teaches that boy…magic. No I won’t have it not in my house.” She chocked on word magic as if it were some deadly disease.


“Now Mrs. Dursley, ‘Mrs. Black’ is one of the best Auror we have. Your family couldn’t be in safer hands.” Dumbledore told her, but Petunia thought other wise.


“Safer hands you say? Well I seem to think your losing your memory because her husband is the reason that boy is in my house to begin with. Those two were always alike who’s to say she not planning our deaths as we speak.” Nichole wiped out her wand and gripped it tightly at her side.  


“My husband is not a murder.” Her voice was a low growl her body was shaking in a fit of anger. Her eyes were burning into Petunia’s the look so menacing Petunia backed up against the wall, and almost hesitated to speak.


“Look he kills twelve people, and a friend right in front of her face, and she still thinks he’s innocent. He’s got her brainwash we’d all be safer if she was locked away in that hell with him,  ” Nichole finally snapped she thrust her wand into Moody’s hand and then approached Petunia their faces only inches apart Nichole’s voice was still a low growl.   


“If I was only that lucky because right now nothing can be worse then the hell that has become my life.” Nichole turned on her heels and ripped her wand out of Moody’s hand. Blinded by rage she stormed out the door.


She pulled her hair out of her pony tail as she ran down the walk way. In mid jump she transformed; her body melted away into a mass of orange and black fur. Her brown hair darkened to black forming the stripes on her face.


Her nails grew as her hands turned to paws; her teeth became sharper as she let out a deep pain  filled growl. One thing that didn’t change was her eyes; they were still a deep chocolate brown that glowed in the night with a swirl of emotion as she ran into the darkness.


The memory fade and Sirius was deep in thought. Every hour that Nichole was there the more of what she was hiding came out. That memory showed how truly depressed she was and being told she could no longer see her godson brought her to her breaking point.


“Wow. How could I not remember any of that?” Harry asked.


“That’s because the memory was blocked. You could think of it when you were by yourself, but as soon as people came around it was like it never existed.” Sirius explained and Harry became frustrated.


“Out of all the stuff I had to deal with they couldn’t have just left me with that one happy memory could they?”  Sirius didn’t say anything to that. Harry sighed. “That’s why she left isn’t it?”


“I’m not going to lie to you it was probably part of the reason, but there is more to it. So much more that I’m still trying to find out half of it”   Sirius sighed and lead Harry out of them room. “ Look let’s not mention this to anyone.”


Harry halfheartedly agreed to the request. Harry returned to his room, and for what seemed like the hundredth time today Sirius made his way back into the kitchen and sat at the table.


Molly, Remus, and Tonks were already there talking. But Sirius didn’t have time to join into the conversation because Nichole walked threw the kitchen door.


“Morning everyone.” She yawned. Sirius got up wrapped his arms around her; in reflex she leaned her head on his shoulder, and he softly kissed her hair.


“How you feeling, love?”


“Old.” She laughed to him it was the most beautiful sound in the world.


“Old?” he repeated confused.


“Yes old because that’s usually what you are when you wake up and everything aches.” 


“Um maybe the fact your body’s recovering from fourteen years of dark magic might have something to do with it.” Sirius replied she rolled her eyes at him.


“Get use to it dear it only gets worse.” Molly told her, and she just continued to laugh.


“O’ great something to look forward to.” Her sarcasm put a small smile on their faces.


“Nichole there is some food on the counter if you’re hungry.”


“Thanks Molly.”


“No problem. Well I’m going to finish cleaning the extra rooms.” She stood to leave.


“Here when I’m done I’ll come and help” Nichole offered setting Molly off on a rant.


“O’ No you don’t you still need to rest.”


“Molly I’m fine honest.” Her argument fell on deaf ears. Molly shook her head mumbling something about ‘Nichole not being happy until she is paralyzed from the neck down’ as she left the room.


“I think I’ll go help Molly.” Tonks said and left.


“Why is it every time I come into a room everyone leaves.”   


“I think it’s your charming personality.” Retorted Remus.

“Thanks Remus.” Chuckling Nichole grabbed a plate which Sirius took from her. “Would you sit down I’ll get the food for you.”


“I think I am perfectly capable of getting my own food thank you.”  She took the plate back from him playful glaring. “By the way thank you both for getting my things.”


“Don’t thank me it was Remus.” She raised an eyebrow in suspicion.


“Right nice try, but I know you went to the house.”


Author’s note: Sorry I’m ending it here it’s late and I’ve got writers block. Please review because I can’t fix anything if I don’t know about it. To those who have been reading thank you so much. Check out my other stories too. =]