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The Four of Us by Forever_More

Format: Novel
Chapters: 10
Word Count: 28,672
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Angst
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OtherCanon
Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC

First Published: 08/16/2007
Last Chapter: 08/02/2009
Last Updated: 01/06/2010

Thanks to Gnesgnay for the absolutely amazing banner ♥

When life is at its hardest, can four friends tough it out together? There is many problems in each of the girls lives that threatening to tear them apart. Nicole, Lily, Skyler and Emma are entering their final year at Hogwarts. The question is will they come out the same way they came in ; together, or will there many problems ripe them apart. CHAPTERS 1-5 REDONE 1000's READS!

Chapter 1: Our Perfect Imperfect Lives
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Wonderful chapter by Anna_Black @TDA

 The sun had already set hours before I received the phone call from my friend Emma, I had been home alone that early summer night , in which I was thankful for. I remembered smiling at the fact that I wouldn’t have any fresh bruises for the big summer party coming up.  Picking up the phone I was shocked to hear my  usually put together and strong friends strangled voice on the receiver, she was frantic and it was  difficult to make out what she was saying but I understood the most part and told her I’d be right on my way.  Though I wished I could stay on the phone and keep her calm I hung up and quickly started dialling. As I phone my other two friends I hoped their parents wouldn’t be the ones to answer at such a late hour of the night, I sighed hearing their tiered and newly awoken voices.  It didn’t take them much convincing to meet me at the four way  at the end of our streets.

All I had to say was that Emma was in trouble and they were on their way.

“Skylar!” I heard Nicole shout as she ran towards me , a blur of large manors behind her as my eyes began to water.  Her long dark hair was in a messy bun, as if she had simply put it up before running out the door, not bothering to change out of her expensive white silk night robe which hung lazily off her thin frame, or her  old and worn bunny slippers flopping as she slowed to a quick pace.

 Her face was twisted into one of confusion but I couldn’t give her answers, I didn’t have any,  so instead I directed my watery eyes toward the approaching figure.  It was Lily, with her usual motherly look of concern and panic, her curly red hair a mess and her emerald eyes on the verge of bursting into tears.

“Where is she ?”  She asked as she pounced on me.

“ She’s at the Palace” It hardly took them a second to recognize the club we easily got into with fake I.D’s every now and then.  Without another word Lily ran for it, me and Nicole close behind her.  The little community we lived in was only five minutes from The Palace which was in London.  We didn’t stop until we spotted the bright florescent lights from the front of the club, we ignored the creepy  people littering the street and they soon ignored us as Lily took out a bottle of pepper spray, with a moments memory I remembered that Nicole and I had bought it for her one odd day as a joke for her uptightness.  

We hurried down the street, checking every dark corner and alley way,  I was relieve when I heard Nicole’s shout from across the street.  Me and Lily ran towards Nicole as she bent over her cousin, our best friend. My breath caught in my throat as I suddenly stopped after catching a glimpse of  the girl on the ground.  Her short hair was a mess of dirt and leave which wasn’t the worst part of her, her clothes ripped and tarred as if an animal had done it, her legs and skirt covered with blood. Bruises covered her arms, legs and face and I knew some would be found under her top, as I stood there frozen in time I took back what I had thought before her phone call.  I would rather get beaten every day then to see any of my friends in such pain.

We understood what had happened.

Finally coming to our senses Nicole took off her night grown and wrapped in over Emma, not caring that her fragile body would freeze in only her tank top.  I hurried forward and helped Lily lift her off the ground, wrapping my arm around her waist, I felt her arm wrap around my neck lightly, as if she had no more strength left.  It was heart breaking to see the strongest person you’ve ever known break in such a way, it made you feel as if there was no hope.

Without a second thought Lily, after making sure there was no muggle’s in sight, pulled out her wand and pointed it towards the road.  In no time a blue double deckered bus arrived ,almost out of thin air, in front of us. I was thankful I had called Lily and Nicole, I knew if I was alone I would most likely not be able to help at all. As me and Lily hurried Emma onto the bus , Nicole paid, Merlin knows she has the money for it.  Though we received plenty of odd glances from the passengers and the driver and conductor we didn’t say anything until we were asked where we were headed.

We completely blanched, we didn’t think of that.  I was caught with relief when Nicole spoke up and gave them her address, I was far away from giving my own.  And for the rest of the ride we sat in a strange and horrifying silence.


I sat at the dinning room table reading over and over again my mothers letter, I had found in on the dinning room table when I had woken up that morning.  I glared at her perfect cursive writing.  The day before she had announced her engagement to her recent boyfriend, Jake Ellington, a royal jack ass. I had quickly started yelling at her for doing such a terrible thing to me, and still I felt anger boil as I read the letter over once more.

Dear Nicole,

I have gone out to celebrate with Jake.

I understand that you are angry but you will soon come to terms.  Jake just wants you to be a part of his family. We will talk about this when I get back, I left some money on the table, buy lunch.

Love, Mother.

I growled at her signature at the bottom of the letter, so perfect, elegant, and I didn’t want a part of it.  I didn’t want to be one drop of ink in the perfect cursive letters.  I crumpled up the letter in my hand, disbelief over coming me.  Never was I to ‘come to terms’ with the idea of my mother remarrying, did she not think of me once in this decision. Of course not, that wouldn’t be like my mother.  Grabbing the money I was about to head up stairs when the phone rang.

“ Hello?”

“Nicole?, It’s Lily.” I smiled at the first voice of sanity in the day.

“ Hey Lils, what’s up? “ She took a moment to answer, a sniff here , a cough there  and I was becoming impatient. “ What is it Lily ?”

“ It’s Emma…… She’s made an appointment at four, do you mind meeting us at Mungo’s after you eat lunch? “  I looked down at the money in my hand then up to the clock, it was three, a felt a groan in the pit of my stomach but I knew I should be with me cousin, my best friend in a situation like this.

“ It’s alright, I’ve already eaten, I’ll be over at your house soon. “  After hanging up I ran up the stairs and grabbed my jacket and shoes, not forgetting to leave the money in a large pouch in my closet, it was already over flowing with bills and coins, all from when my mother left me home alone with some extra cash.  

Before thoughts of my mother could come over me I ran out of the house and down the street towards the more average sized houses where Skylar and Lily lived.

More than an hour later I found myself sitting in the waiting room of St. Mungo’s, the wizarding hospital, between a nervous Lily and Skylar who seemed to be just as bored as myself, braiding her long blond locks to pass the time.  As it turned out Emma started showing signs of pregnancy and after several home pregnancy tests she called her doctor.  After half an hour had already gone by I sent a exasperated look toward Lily, the suspense was killing me. Here I was thinking that it was a simple wave of the wand and zap you’ve got results.  It seemed magic wasn’t all the hype muggle’s made it to be.

Finally, Emma walked out, dark bags under her eyes from exhaustion, her shoulder hung low. It was only when she had spotted us did she break down into sobs, it didn’t take a second guess that the tests were positive, without a moment pause we ran over to her and as we wrapped our arms around her we murmured soothing words.

The message was clear - Emma had gotten pregnant by the man that had rapped her weeks previous.

We hardly took in the doctors and nurses pitying glances, nor did we care for them.  No one seemed to want to break the silence and we didn’t until we arrived in Lily’s room, quickly hiding away from her caring mother.  Merlin know I wasn’t the first to break the silence, but as we laid on the queen sized bed I held her close.

“ What are you going to do ?” Skylar asked the question that had been dancing in all our minds on the drive home.  A question with many possibilities and answers. “ Are you going to return to Hogwarts?” Emma sighed, silent for only a couple of minutes as she thought over our friends question.

“ Yea… I think I will… “ As she said this Lily and Skylar joined our semi hug. Truth be told I was happy she was coming back, I wasn’t sure what I would do without either one of them in my life for more than a couple hours.. A day at most.

“ What ever happens, we’ll be there for you” Lily told her, Emma smiled as Mrs. Evans called us down for dinner.

“ Nicole are you coming? “ Lily asked as I stopped at the bottom of the stair case. I shot a look at the door and shook my head.

“ I promised mom I’d had dinner with her and.. Jake. “ Lily nodded and with a sympathetic smile I was off, I hated lying to her in such a carefree way but it was for their own good.


I straightened my long curly hair, which seemed to never tame, as Nicole and Skylar changed behind me. We were all getting ready for James Potter’s party, one which he had held every summer since our fourth year. We had asked Emma to come but she declined and sadly informed us that tonight she’d be telling her parents about her situation, which would obviously go down hill.  I quickly dressed in a mini skirt and yellow long sleeve, my two friends dressing similar. After adding touch ups here and there we pilled into my parents car, in which I had gotten permission to drive, and we left the part of the community where me and Skylar lived towards the larger houses where Nicole, Skylar and James ‘s houses could be found.

Besides the color of the outside the Potters home resembled greatly to the Lamoure’s, after pointing this out Nicole rolled her eyes dramatically.  Finally we arrived in front of the red brick three story house, its white door looking down at me menacingly. For a moment I felt mental, a menacing door? I suddenly remembered the boy who lived in the house, menacing seemed like a kitten compared to words that described the boys presence.  

Getting out of the car we walked up the path toward the door as fast as  we could in our stiletto’s, knocking, the door was surprisingly opened quickly by Remus Lupin, revealing the loud music between the four walls.  Remus was most likely the only Marauder we could stand during the six years we had spent at Hogwarts, smiling I greeted him with a hug and a peck on the cheek, Nicole and Skylar greeting him In the same manner.

Remus led us towards the kitchen where they were giving out drinks, after fetching a beer I rounded on Remus. “ Where’s James? “ I asked with a sweet smile, he gave me a pitying look in which I ignored. I knew the reason behind it, last year I had developed some sort of crush on the boy who had aggravated me all those years but just as I was about to tell him it seemed he moved on.  Deciding against better judgement , my friends that is, I told him my feelings  thinking he’d jump for joy but instead shutting me down and embarrassing me.  At the end of the year he had broken up with his recent girlfriend and I planned on once again telling him.

Sighing, Remus pointed up the stairs before turning back to Nicole with a small smile.  I skipped up the stairs but suddenly stopped and sighed, so many rooms and not so much courage.  Taking a deep breath a started peeking into the rooms, witnessing things I am not very proud of.  It was when I came to the last door that I growled in anger at the small carving in the door that read ‘James’ , mentally smacking myself I opened the door with a large smile.  

But smiles weren’t in store for me on such a night, it was quickly wiped off my face as I spotted James fooling around with a blond girl on his bed, noticing me he smirked his stupid infamous smirk.  I could have chocked to death right there from the embarrassment and stupidity but instead I shut the door behind me and quickly made my way down the hall and down the stair case before he could catch up with me and embarrass me further.

I heard my name being called from behind me but ignored him as tears filled my eyes.  How stupid could I be.  With a cry I fell down the last seven steps causing the crowd to erupt into laughter, I spotted Remus and Nicole hurrying over to me, Skylar also running over after smacking a sniggering Sirius and taking chances I looked up the stairs as James who was smiling.  I wanted to die at that moment.

“ Lets get you out of here . “ Skylar said as they helped me up, Remus led us to my car and helped Skylar sit me in the back before she jumped in and immediately started consoling me. After saying goodbye to Remus and thanks, Nicole hopped into the front seat and started the engine.  She quickly drove us out of there, from the laughs, the big menacing houses or the mocking face of James Potter than haunted my nightmares.

 Not long after we pulled into the Lamoure’s driveway, not surprised to see Emma with a back pack and her trunk, her  parents had obviously reacted awfully.  

“Aunt Liz is gone, I would have called you guys but I didn’t want to ruin your night… “ She trailed off, she didn’t have to be told what happened, she already knew, as well did Nicole and Skylar. I screwed up.  And as I went to bed that night it echoed in my mind. ‘ Screw up’.  It stayed with me till days later when I lay in my bed, my parents sleeping and my sister at her fiancé’s.  It stayed with me and once more guided me to my personal bathroom, to the  drawer under the sink and caused me to wrap my hand around the skilfully hidden black clothe.  With tears streaming down my face I unfolded it to reveal a sharp raiser blade.  

With a silent sob I allowed it to do its magic, just like it had done plenty of nights before.

Chapter 2: I Have Never?
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Wonderful chapter by Anna_Black @TDA

Nicole bounded down the stairs loudly as the girls passing by her glared tiredly. Spotting her dark haired friend she stopped in the middle of the stairs, both girls creating a whining line up of tiered girls wanting to go to bed and whining about beauty sleep.

“ Like its going to do you any good.” She told a small third year with blonde hair, sticking her tongue out in a child like behaviour.  “ Where are you off to ?” She asked Emma after turning her back towards the girls, ignoring their groans once more.

“ Going to sleep, I got to be prepared for tomorrow. “ She said with an eye roll.  Nicole smiled, tomorrow would be Emma’s first meeting with Dumbledore concerning her situation since they had arrived at Hogwarts.  Nicole smirk as she spotted the already visible bump under the girls baggy night shirt, with a goodnight they went their separate ways to the relief of their fellow female Gryffindors.

The common room was deserted for the acceptation of three seventh year students who sat in front of the fire. Nicole silently crept towards the big couch where Sirius and Remus sat taking in hushed tones, Skylar who was sitting in a chair not far off spotted her friend and smirked knowing what she was up to.  Nicole smirked as well as she jumped up , springing herself into the laps of the boys taking them by complete surprise.  Looking up the small dark haired girl grinning as she noticed Skylar in a fit of giggles over the boys surprised and shocked expressions.

After coming to his senses and over coming the annoyance which is Nicole , Sirius addressed his friends.

“What’s on the agenda tonight mates ? “  Nicole smiled in mischief. “No Lamoure dear, we are not breaking into the heads common room again - “

“Why not?” The girl cried out cutting him off.

“ First because its too easy seeing as we know the password and all and secondly I promised James I wouldn’t allow you to. “ Crossing her arms Nicole pouted mumbling over unfair things.  Her pouting came to an end when Sirius suddenly sprang from the couch and up the boys stair case,  Nicole jumped up suddenly and onto Remus’s lap.

“Where’s the dragon?!” She half yelled causing her friends to chuckle at her obvious behaviour. Before Remus or Skylar could question either of their friends sanities Sirius came rushing down once more with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand.

“I don’t thin- “  Sky was cut of my Nicole and Sirius’s sudden  shushes.  

“Darling its tradition!” He said fiercely dropping the bottle as well as four shot glasses on the coffee table, he took his seat on the other side of Nicole.

“I’m with Sky - “

“ Shut up Remus” Nicole said, scooting toward the coffee table eagerly, in a matter of seconds she was filling the glasses.  When she was done  and everyone had a glass in hand Sirius began with the rules.

“ The game is called Have you ever,  we know the rules, there isn’t any. You simply start off with Have you ever…… and finish off with something, if you’ve done it you take a swig. The drunkest person buys a round of butterbeers at the next Hogsmead trip - “

“ And chocolate. “ Remus added, Sirius smirked knowing this was his friends way of saying he’s in.

“ Sugar quills - “

“ Lollipops!” Nicole said cutting off Skylar who sent her a playful smirk before quickly turning to Sirius and nodding vigorously.

“ Fine, Butterbeers, Chocolate frogs, Sugar quills and Lollipops. “ He said ticking them off. With a smirk the games started.   An hour had gone by and the bottle was three quarters empty which was mostly consumed by the wasted Sirius who seemed to have done a lot of odd and embarrassing things .

“I have never done anything sexually related in a Professors classroom. “ Skylar said receiving a loud groan from the boy across from her as he took yet another shot. No one bothered to ask what happened anymore for Sirius probably wouldn’t remember but what took up their interest was when Nicole also took a shot.

“ Fifth year, James saw me and Lily walking down the hall after hours so he slipped into a classroom and well lets say he grabbed the wrong girl which he didn’t notice until he was done snogging me.  With a loud giggle she filled her glass and lifting it up as if in a toast she started.

“ I have never kissed a Professor to get out of detention or a bad grad. “ A loud string of giggles escaped the girls mouths as Sirius yet again took another swing, Remus looked upon his friend with disgust.  “ I’m not even going to ask” Nicole said as she held her sides.  While Sirius mumbled angrily Remus picked up his glass and thought for a moment.

“ Lets go Remmy - hit us with your best shot!” Skylar said rather loudly.

“I have never… gone skinny dipping ?” He said uncertain.

“Liar!” Sirius shouted  as he took a drink. Remus shrugged  and took a swig also, Skylar mirrored his movements.

“ You’ve got to be kidding me!” Skylar half screamed as she looked wide eyes at her friends still full glass.  Nicole’s blue eyes looked at her three companions innocently.  “ Its like an important thing in every teenagers life, it’s a have to!” She said waving her hands around her head getting them caught in her long wavy blond locks, looking rather mad.

“ That’s it you’ve got to do it “ Remus said smirking, at the very moment Nicole could have chocked the boy till he turned blue but she guessed that the ministry wasn’t to kind to murder and he was most likely stronger then her.

“No, I’m not - “

“ Fine I dark you and Remus to do it. “ Sirius slurred, his eyes going crooked.  Her anger turned to Sirius who seemed unfazed.

“Wait, no! Sirius - “ Remus’s warning were cut off by Nicole’s smirk as she muttered Fine.  Remus shot her a shocked looked that turned to one of annoyance and anger.  Standing up they headed towards the portrait hole, Skylar and Sirius, though a bit disoriented, were excited while Nicole was determined and Remus, well being him knew something bad was about to unfold.

“ Come on guys, take it off!” Sirius shouted, sounding like a hormonal teenager, which he in fact was.

“ Sirius, shuve off if you think I’m taking my knickers off in front of you!”  Sirius maniacal smirk only grew as he wiggled his eyebrows at Nicole.

“Of course not but Remus is a totally different case. “ She glared alongside Remus as the boy practically tripped over himself with excitement. “ Just get in there you hormonal animals. “ He yelled the last word with a manly giggle.

Chuckling Nicole turned her eyes toward Remus who was working on getting undressed and glaring at his fellow Marauder. Looking at his shirt less chest she spotted several long and thing scars  and wondered if there were many more. How would one get such scars? Was he abused? Maybe an accident?  Some look recent, she thought as she spotted one on his shoulder.  Though he didn’t play Quidditch with the rest of them, instead chose to stay in the bleachers with Lily and Emma , he had a toned and muscular chest which was rather pale.  Looking down at herself Nicole resumed that she was also rather pall.  As she caught his eyes on her own she turned away and slowly took off her jeans.

Remus looked down at the small girl, her thin frame innerved him, she was pale and she reminded him of a skeleton.  He had never really noticed how small she was for she usually wore baggy or layered clothing.  It looked as If he could wrap his arms around her twice and still have enough room to hug Sirius.  As her eyes met him he looked away, hardly  noticing her do the same.

Catching their breaths they each set a smile on their faces and looked back towards the other.

“Ready? “ Remus nodded and she gave him a small smirk before grabbing his hand.  He felt awkward standing there mostly naked in front of his friends, looking back down at her body his cheeks tinged pink. She was perfect in every way, from her long wavy dark locks that travelled down her back to her large sky blue eyes that reminded him of  summer mornings.  It was her pixie thin body that rattled him.

“Let’s go already.” Skylar groaned.

Taking one last look at each other they tightened their grips before running down the dock and jumping into the frozen cold lake.  Nicole felt as if she would never come up and if it wasn’t for Remus’s hand grasping her own she probably wouldn’t, as they resurfaces she chocked up water she hadn’t realised she’d swallowed.

“What was that?” He asked and she simply shrugged.

“Sorry, I’m tipsy. “ She said giving him one of her many excuses, the truth was lately she been feeling rather tiered and weak, she hated the feeling, she felt vulnerable.  “ Oh Merlin” She whined as she spotted her friends retreating into the castle, their clothes in hand.  “ You’ve got to be pissing me!”  Getting out of the water she leaned on Remus for support.

“ Don’t worry. “ He said pulling out his wand, Nicole smile glad that one of them had been thinking to bring it out with them, she had long forgotten it on her night stand in her dormitories. With a swish of his wand and a silent mutter they spotted a cloak zipping through the air and out the boys dormitory window towards them, as is landed in his hands he did it once more but no cloak came.  Arching his brow, he was obviously confused but the  reason to his problem was heard laughing from the window as Sirius and Skylar stuck their heads out, grinning like maniacs.

“Suckers!” Skylar shouted as they shut the window.  Remus tried many more spells but none worked, with a final sigh he looked down at the cloak in his hands to the girls beside him, a smirk etching its way on his face.

“ I don’t like that look “ Nicole said, with a glance at the cloak she lunged for it but Remus was to fast and ripped it from her gasp. “Come on Remus, be a gentleman. “ She pleaded but the boy tisked as he pulled the cloak over his wet and cold body.

“ As I recall you were the one to agree with Sirius. “ Nicole groan and with one last glare she headed toward the castle only in her knickers and bra, Remus trailing behind her.

“ I can’t believe them…. I hope Sky doesn’t take advantage of the poor bloke. “ Nicole smirked at Remus’s shocked expression. “ Joking.. “ He nodded, of course she was , it would most likely be the other way around in which Sirius would make a complete fool out of his drunken self.  “So.. How was your summer?” He tried but once she sent him an odd, questioning glance he shut up and they trudged on in silence. Finally they came upon the school doors, prying them open she welcome the comfort of the cold walls of Hogwarts and its safety.

“ Do you hear that Mrs. Norris ?” They stopped mid step as they heard the voice of the care taken Filch.  Sending Remus an alarmed looked Nicole grabbed his arm and pulled him quietly down the hall, hoping to find a classroom on their way but she was taken by surprise when the boy pulled her behind a painting and into a tiny storage room which seemed to be ten times colder then the castle.

“ Shh” He said  putting a finger to his lips as he pushed her against the wall, the place was half the size of any other closet in the whole castle and she would quickly admit her discomfort to the closeness with her male friend, especially when they were both soaking wet and half naked.   Figuring Filch would disappear quick enough they were proven wrong, in their hast to get away they forgot about they dripping wet bodies and the foot prints they  left behind that seemed to stop right in front of the painting.

It must have been an hour later,  they were both sitting on the grown with their knees pressed to their chests, they were mostly dry by now but still cold.  Sending Nicole a pitying glance Remus took off the cloak and wrapped it around her small frame.  Turning towards him with tiered eyes she smiled, picking up the cloak she draped it over the both of them before letting her arms dropped to her sides.

“Are you alright? “ He asked sending her a concerned look, she nodded with a  smile and simply muttered ‘tiered’ before laying her head against his naked shoulder, she tried to ignored the slight shake of her body that she put aside as the cold.

Before she knew it she had fallen asleep on Remus’s shoulder only to wake a couple hours later disoriented with a killer head ache wondering how in Merlin she got to her bed in the dormitory.  

Chapter 3: Mission Teenage Immaturity
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Chapter image by Anna_Black @TDA

Though our massive hang overs Skylar and I still remembered the deal we made with the guys the night previous and it was beyond obvious that Sirius had lost with great numbers, after drinking a couple coffees and taking a bunch of Tylenol we snuck up to the boys dormitory.  Emma had already left to the Headmasters office for their meeting and had congratulated us on our win, or in her words ‘immaturity’.  With pink silly string, some cool muggle stuff that Lily introduced us to which I swear she regrets, in hand she hurried up the boys stair case passing Frank Longbottom.

“ May I ask what you two fine ladies are doing? “ He asked in  his sweet tone, we smiled showing him our muggle toys. 

“ We’ve decided to surprise the boys with a treat, are they still sleeping?” I asked him, my smirk growing by the second.  He nodded and with a heart breaking smile he left us to our tormenting.  Grinning like maniacs we creped up the boys stair case receiving odd and discomforting looks from the boys who were descending, scaring off a couple embarrassed and flushed first years.  Finally we came to the door with a plaque saying ‘7th Year’, under it were five names, Sirius Black, Eric Brown, Frank Longbottom, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. We stopped for a second and eyed the plaque.

“ Why is there’s alphabetical?” Skylar asked and it dawned on me why it looked so odd. Tilting my head I looked at it, a smirk forming on my face.  Taking out my wand I swish, flicked and pointed, muttering Latin words, when I was done I allowed Skylar to look over my masterpiece. 

A loud eruption of giggles escaped her mouth for know under the words ‘ The 7th year Wankers’ were the names , Snuffles Black, Stuck-up Brown, Cuddlesome Longbottom, Sane Lupin and Jittery Pettigrew. 

“It’s odd how my wand chose those names.. Hmm” Shaking my head with a grin we snuck into the room to see Remus sleeping soundlessly, Peter rolled up into a ball and Sirius snoring loudly with his body parts hanging in all different directions while Eric brown, a dark haired and blue eyed boy who seemed to be rather angry that James had gotten the spot of Quidditch captain instead of him.  The girls spotting him  on the other side of the room making his bed stuck out their tongues, neither liked the boy much. Ignoring his eyes on them they crept over to two of the sleeping forms, at first they figured it would have been funny to prank  Peter as well but resumed to his panic attack afterwards would be just as funny.

With one last sideways grin we took the caps of the spray cans and slowly and quietly walked towards our victims. I could feel the bubble of giggles in my tummy grow but I knew I couldn’t let them out just yet as I stopped in front of the bed.  Turning to Skylar who stood impatiently over Sirius bed gave me a thumbs up and started mouthing ‘one, two thee!’. Finally as three came out in a loud shout we began spraying the silly string over the boys in the bed who had woken up to our shouts and giggles and as presumed Peter had jumped out of bed and started running around as if someone had shouted ‘FIRE!’.

Finally as our cans stopped shooting out the odd stringy stuff we stood still grinning madly at the boys who for a moment seemed shocked and confused to what had happened.  When their eyes met our own recognition appeared and their lips formed their very own smirk, dangerous those things are.  Letting out a shriek I fallowed Skylar out the door and down the stairs pushing aside the shocked boys as we came to the common room which was know semi filled. 

“ Where do we hide? “ Skylar asked and we stood there a moment trying to think but as we heard their loud stumps down the stair case we squealed and headed towards the portrait hole. “ Lily!”  Skylar screamed and we quickly turned down a corridor towards our strict and protective friend. 

Spotting the statue of the four founders  we came to a skidded stop, breathing deeply in exhaustion we mumbled the password, only after the four time did they hear us and allow us entry.  Hearing loud footsteps behind us we ran in and squealed as the statue closed in front of the boys, we sighed but knew we had to hide or they’d catch us in a mater of seconds. 

“ James’s room” I whispered to Skylar who nodded and fallowed me towards the head boys dorm room.  Hurrying across the common room we  guessed the heads were still sleeping for no one littered the common room.  Hearing the stone of the statue scratch against the floor we ran the rest of the way up the stairs and into James room where we instantly became quiet after spotted the two bumps under the covers.

“ Please tell me that’s not Lily … “ Skylar said, a look of shock on her face.

“ GET OUT!!” We heard our redheaded friends shouts from the other side of the common room.  We grinned knowing the two marauders would be cowering under her hand instead of looking for us.  Our attentions were pulled towards the two in the bed as we spotted movement, with big eyes we crawled to the opposite side of the room towards his washroom, closing the door behind us as well as locking it we hid in the bathtub with the curtain closed. No one would find us in here, right?

“ W-what are you…. Why.. “ We heard James’s confused and sleepy voice as well as the sound of marching foot steps.  We covers our mouths with our hands to muffle the giggles and any other sound that might escape.   Our giddiness only increased as we heard the turning of the doorknob and soon after a click.  Remus had most likely unlocked the door using a simple spell.   With our backs to the wall and us facing the curtain we spotted the two flurry forms in front of the curtain which was soon whipped to the side with one movement from Sirius.

Our excited, giddy  let out a shriek of laughter as the boys attacked us with the pillows they had in hand.  We laughed and shrieked loudly until we felt cold water spray from the shower head onto the four of us who happened to all be in the bathtub.  We all shrieked loudly, Sirius sounding oddly girly, and turned to a smirking James , who had left his date in his bed, and Lily who happened to be the one who turned on the water.  Grinning evilly I picked up a bottle of soap that had fallen by my feet and quietly opened the top, with a silent giggled  I poured the continents on the heads of the two… heads, allowing the others time to run off. Throwing the bottle aside I fallowed the retreating back of  Remus, Sirius and Skylar out the heads door and into the corridor.

The four of us soaking wet and covered with feathers from James’s pillows looked an odd sight to the other students littering the corridor, but we paid them no attention as we ran the rest of the way back to the Gryffindor tower to get ready for the day.


“Miss Emma Courtmen?”

“ Yes?”

“It seems that your babies father is a wizard and not a muggle like you informed me, which gives your child a great chance of being magical. I’m thinking along the lines of pureblood or half blood. There also seems to be some complication but they don’t seem to be affecting the baby, besides that everything is fine.”

A sigh escaped the young girls lips, blowing her short hair out of her face.

“ Would you like to know the sexe ? “

“Yes please. “


They were lounging in the heads common room doing anything that came to mind, ranging from nothing to homework and books to playing indoor Quidditch.  Sirius and James took up one couch that no one dare try to sit at for the fear of getting his by a quaffles, Skylar had stolen the only available chair and was busy drawing her friends in a goofy manner while Lily, Nicole and Remus took the opposite couch of the two boys.  Poor Remus was in the middle with both girls legs spread across his lap  as he read and they did their nails.

It was to that sight that Emma walk in on, smiling big at the homey feeling that engulfed her with one look at her friends.   Lily threw a pillow at James and Sirius before telling them , in an awfully loud voice, to make room for their knew arrival.

“ where’s Peter ?” She asked taking a seat between the boys and putting her bag on her lap. Before anyone could answer the boy in question walked into the room carrying  a large pile of homework and not looking to happy.

“Are you sure you can help me lily? “ He asked as he placed the pile on the table, Lily rolled her eyes and nodded, not understanding how he could be so far behind.

“Can everyone wait for a second, I’d like to tell you something” Emma said, disrupting Lily and Peter. She looked giddy and a little shaky causing her friends to move forward in curiosity and worry. “ Don’t worry my meeting with Dumbledor went well, he brought me to St. Mungo’s and my doctor gave me all the news about the baby.  He said she’s a healthy pureblood but there some complications. “

“ Wait, pureblood?” Sirius question.

“ What kind of complications. “ Remus said ,ignoring his previous friends questions.

“She!” Nicole, Lily and Skylar stood up and ran over to Emma engulfing her in a group hug.  “ We’ve got a girl.”  Lily shriek. As they jumped up and down in a squeally  way that only a girl could pull off.  The boys looked at them in wonder.

“ You’d think they were all having the baby. “ James muttered shaking his head. “ Come on!” He yelled clapping his hands to get the attention of the four girls. Turning around they stared as him oddly.  “ First off, wasn’t the.. Um….. jack off a muggle and what kind of complications?”  After staring at him for a moment the girls took their seats eager to hear Emma’s response.

 Emma sat between the two boys for a moment, trying to figure it all out.

“ Well the doctor said that the man was magical and either pureblood or Halfblood and also that there were some complication but not to worry they didn’t seem to be affection the baby.  That really all he said actually.”   Everyone sat for a moment taking it in, the fact that Emma had a growing baby inside her was still rather odd, she seemed more quiet and serene which was a great difference from the loud and bitchy Em.  They sat talking over the matter some more, wondering  why a wizard was at a muggle club, guessing that he was either a Halfblood and lived near the area or simply a pureblood that didn’t mind muggle’s but them why rape Emma.   “ It wasn’t as if she was waving her wand around shouting, I am Merlin hear me rawer.” Nicole dramatically put it.  Soon the topic of conversation turned to the babies sex.

“ I can’t believe your having a girl. “ Sirius said down hearted, in a matter of seconds a small hand with bright pink nail polish was right in front of his face. Nicole smirked and told him to pay up.  “ Damn!” He said dropping the money in her palm.

“What are you going to name her?” Skylar asked turning her eyes from Sirius to Emma who sat for a moment looking thoughtful.

“ I’m not sure, you guys are going to help aren’t y-”


“James is that your recent girlfriend or are you actually suggesting that name for the  baby. “ Lily said narrowing her eyes at the boy who simply pulled a face out at her mumbling about jealous girls.  Remus put a hand on Lily’s arm before she could dive into an argument.

“ How about Krystal ?” Peter suggested. Everything was quiet for a moment the name was actually tryable but Emma soon shook her head.

“Nah, thank Pete but I think its to….. Barbie? “ Nicole nodded smiling as she ruffled the boy on the floors head. Peter, his cheeks pink brushed her off.

“Melanie, Bridgett, Claire, Vera, Valerie, Naomi, Kass- “

“ Sirius I’m pretty sure Lily made it clear not to give ex- skanky girlfriends names as suggestions.” Nicole said smiling mockingly, Sirius simply rolled his eyes, wondering what had suddenly gotten all the girls in a twist.  Many more names had been passed around such as Vicky, Amanda, Chelsea ( in which Skylar said something about a dog with the name) Melissa , even Angel and Martha which were quickly declined.  Hours had gone by and the group had formed a list of all the names they truly liked which know lay in Emma’s lap as she crossed of the names she didn’t think fit for her child.

“ Alright, we’ve got Alexis, Charlotte, Keely,  Peyton and Daphne. Whoever seriously put Martha in there deserve a kick to the groin. “ Emma said receiving an eruption of laughter from her friends.

“There’s the old Em” Sirius said putting his arm around her. “ I don’t think Daphne nor Alexis are good names, no offences Lils and Sky… I like Keely and Peyton - “

“ Which I totally suggested.” Nicole said proudly before being proded on the shoulder.

“I gave Peyton. Seriously, who’s ever heard of the name Keely. “  Emma stopped their bickering with a silent look before looking back down at her paper.

“ So what about Charlotte ? “ She asked, everyone accept for Peter and James said they liked it. “ Alright so we’ve got Charlotte, Keely and Peyton… “ Their decision would have to wait for at the moment the signal for dinner came and they all hurried down to the great all seeing as they all missed breakfast after their escapade.

The group sat talking loudly, laughing and shrieking as they hungrily ate  their food not noticing the sudden silence until the Headmaster, who happened to be standing, cleared his throat. Now quiet and rather embarrassed the group of eight looked up to the staff table sheepishly, yet still grinning.

“ Good evening students” Dumbledor said removing his twinkling gaze from the overly happy group of teenagers to look at the rest of the students. “ Though Halloween is four weeks away I’d like to announce that we’re holding a costume ball for the fourth to seventh years, the first to third will not have class for the day of the ball and the day after.  Now, you should all retire to bed. “  Sitting down the whole Great hall burst into shatter as the students left for their common rooms to discuss the news, while the eight students returned to the heads common room speaking of not so much the same things but everything besides.

“I like Quidditch” James said wiggling his brows at a passing girl receiving a glare form Lily.

Chapter 4: Mistakes We Make
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Thanks Anna_Black@TDA for the wonderful chapter image.

Lily sat in the silent common room reading her new book, James sat on the couch opposite her reading a Quidditch magazine his dad had sent that morning, the fire was blazing and a ball of nerves were growing in her stomach.  Lily remembered the days where she was level headed, always new right from wrong, the little voice in her head that seemed to always give such good advice had long disappeared with her courage.  She hadn’t talked to James since the incident that summer, of course they talked over head duties such as the approaching ball and when they were with their friends but never alone, not about them. 

 “ So James, got any idea who your bringing to the Halloween ball ?” She asked nonchalantly as if she simply wanted to have a normal conversation and not hint that she was free.  He quirked his brow at her but she simply shrugged.  She remembered the days when it was  reversed, he liked her and she dispised him, the only difference was when someone wanted to date her he scared them off and now it wasn’t as if she could scare off his ever growing fan club.

“Not sure yet, I asked Ashley Kenney to Hogsmead….. If it goes well then I’ll most likely ask her. “ He finally lifted his eyes from his magazine to meet Lily’s as he grinned. “ How about you, has anyone asked?” Of course not, she thought. Any sane person had given up on asking her ages ago, it wasn’t as if she said yes but her pride got the better of her.

“ Yes. “  She stated simply not meeting his eyes, instead resuming to her book as if the words interested her more then the conversation was beginning to annoy her.  Looking back up at him it angered him to look surprised.

“ Really? “ She nodded, what did he think she wasn’t pretty enough to get a date.  “ Then how about you and your date join me and Ashley in Hogsmead, a double date?.” He proposed smirking, at the moment Lily could of chocked the stupidity out of her for she nodded her own smirk playing on her lips.


Lily burst into the  common room looking panicked, her hair was a mess flying in all directions as she searched for her friends in the packed common room. Letting out a loud  ’Ha’ as she spotted Nicole, Lily and Emma sitting on the floor in front of the fire finishing up the homework they had received in class that day.

“ If you’ve just killed someone I’m not helping you bury them .” Nicole said in a neutral tone causing some jumpy first years to leave their spot on the couches near by which were quickly filled by Frank , Eric, Alice and Dorcas (two girls in who shared a dorm with Nicole, Sky and Emma).

“ No, but I did do something stupid. “

“ I thought stupid wasn’t in your vocabulary?” Sky said squinting her eyes up on Lily who seemed to be getting greatly annoyed.

“ Merlin I will hex you into next month if you don’t - “ She was cut off by Emma who was shooting her odd looks.

“Lils we get it, what’s up?”

“ My stupidity” She said sending Sky a warning look. “ I asked James if he had a date to the ball yet and he said he was thinking of asking this girl out that he had asked to Hogsmead then I stupidly tell him that I’ve got a date and guess what he does.”  She says loudly not stopping for a clue from her friends. “ He invites me and my date! I don’t have a date!”  Her face was now just as red as her hair and her friends swore they saw smoke coming from her ears as she seethed. 

“ Just cancel -”

“What cancel!”  The girls leaned back in fright .

“Or not..  How about we get you a date? “

“ That’s pathe- “

“You’ll look pathetic without one!” Emma half screamed becoming annoyed. “ We’ll  find someone for you!”  It had been an hour since Emma half screamed those words, the common room was emptying out quickly and they had gone through two lists that didn’t help them at all.

“ This is useless.” Nicole muttered slamming her head on the coffee table. “ I’m just going to go tell him he’s an ass.”

“ You can’t he disappeared after dinner with the marauders. “ Lily said looking on the verge of tears.

“ Night mate.” They heard from behind them, they had completely forgotten about Frank and Eric who were sitting behind them the whole time, the two girls had gone to bed long ago.  They all exchange a look before turning back to Frank who was calmly sitting on the couch reading a book.

“ Frank dearest “ Nicole said taking a seat on one side of , Lily beside her as Sky and Emma sat on the other side.  Frank look a little flustered at seeing the girls appear so suddenly. “ We were wondering if you could help Lily out ?” she continued flashing him a brilliant smile.

“ A favour ?”  She nodded.

“ Just a small one. “ Sky put in with her own award winning smile as she batted her eyes.


“Lily” I wanted to groan as I spotted James waving us over, looking up at Frank he smiled down at me kindly, a surge of courage went through me and I pulled him along towards the table for four.  Ashlynn or what ever her name was didn’t seem to thrilled about having a double date, it wasn’t as if I was thrilled either.  She was everything I expected someone James to date, blonde, perky, beautiful, skinny and obviously not me.  James grinned went pass me and towards Frank who he greeted happily.

“ Lily why didn’t you tell me your date was ol’ Frankie? “ I shrugged, it wasn’t as if he expected me to reply for his attention was quickly averted to Alyson?

“ Frank, Lily , this is Ashlee”  Right, I thought , I knew that . “ Ash, these are my house mates.”

I can’t even get the friends status,  I sighed silently knowing that this night was going to end horribly.  Frank told me he was going to get us drinks, I wanted to kill him at the moment but refrain and smiled. As he walked off I turned back to the couple in front of me, it was obviously going to go downhill and I silently hoped I didn’t end the night by chocking someone.

“ So Lils, you like Frank ? “ I nodded  sitting back in my chair and looking out the window, trying to act bored around the couple in which I was but also a bit nervous.  “ What do you like about him”

“ Uhm, he’s not you” I said cheekily smirking at him. “ It isn’t like were going to get married Potter.” His last name felt weird on my tongue, lately I had been so used to calling him by his name but I was pissed and if we weren’t friends then I’d feel glad to call by his surname.  He made a face as I used his last name once more.

“ What do you like about Ashlynn here? “ I said making a gesture towards the blond girl who shot me a glare.

“ Its Ashlee - “ 

“ I don’t care… “

“Lils , the difference between us dating is I can get a date that’s actually interesting while you….. Have to beg’ He said gesturing towards Frank who was standing at the bar talking to Alice Wilkins.  At the moment I wanted to cry.

 Not to long later I had pulled Frank from the three broom sticks and back towards the castle, everything had simply become to much to handle, I wanted to break down in front of everyone, in front of Frank, Alyson or what ever and especially in front of James. I wanted to tell him what he was doing to me. I wanted to show him.   We finally came to the portrait hole, I stood awkwardly shuffling my feet.

“ Thanks, for doing this for me… It was - a big mistake “ I said letting out a bitter laugh. “ I meant the whole double date .. “ I told him after noticing the fact he pulled.

“ Its ok, I had fun Lils.  I don’t really know what’s going on with you … and James but if you ever need help…. A friend, I’m here. “ He told me as I smiled up at him thankfully.  I was shocked when I found his face getting closer to mine, this surely wasn’t part of the deal but as he got closer I didn’t find time to protest for his lips were on mine in an amount of seconds.  His lips were soft and he kissed me sweetly.  There was no love in the kiss but all the same I yearned for it and was sad when he pulled away.

“ James is looking” He whispered in my ear before giving me a peck on the cheek and walking off.

 Of course, no one would kiss Lily Evans just because they simply liked her.  Sighing I turned around, from the corner of my eye I spotted James with his Barbie of a date but I ignored them and went inside the heads dorms.  As I walked to my dormitory I heard the door open.  It was my stupidity that made me turn around and it was my stupidity that made me hope he was alone, but of course there was the blond hanging off his shoulder. Sending me a smirk he brought her to his room.

 I was angry, sad, embarrassed and at the same time I knew that even though I yearned for it I wouldn’t get it and the more he denied me the more I wanted it. I was afraid of what had become of me. As tears filled my eyes I hurried up the remaining steps and entered my room, closing and locking it behind me  I didn’t take any time to run to the bath room, ripping my clothes off on the way.

 As I stood in front of my bathroom mirror in my knickers, the black cloth in my hand , my eyes traveled down to my arms where red line could be seen from my wrist to my elbow.  Dropping the cloth on the floor I tightened by grasp on the raiser blade , thinking of all the better solutions but as usual I gave in.  I gave in to the depression, the sadness, defeat. I gave Into James and all those girls I would and could never be. I gave in as I pressed in against my skin and cried out.

 I knew I should have put a silencing charm on my room like I usually did, but I was becoming for careless, maybe soon I’d start wearing short sleeved shirts and maybe I’ll finally grow the courage to show James what he’s done to me.  As the blood made its way against my pale skin, I felt relief , because I knew that after my heart had broken so much I could still feel the pain. 


 I sat on the couch, tears leaking from my eyes as I tore the letter in my hands, throwing the bits and fallen pieces in the fire. I was alone in the common room so I willingly allowed the tears to come.  I hated my mother the most at this moment, I wanted to kick her, punch her  and  tell her how much I hated her. But for a Gryffindor I  wasn’t brave, I had hardly enough courage to read the letter twice.  I heard the door open and furiously threw the rest of the letter in the fire and started whipping the tears out of my eyes.

“Nicole? Are you alright? “ Sirius asked, he was in the middle of the common room, obviously on his way to his dormitory.  I nodded not able to talk  while sounding the slightest bit normal. “ Don’t lie” He chuckled coming over to the couch and sitting next to me.  He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest once he spotted my tear soaked face, I laid me head on his chest as he moved the hair out of my face.  “ What’s going on ?”

“My mom, she sent me a letter. “ He looked confused, obviously he didn’t know anything about the problems at home or the reason they had started, neither did my friends.  “ She’s getting married to this fool and wants me to be in the wedding !” A fresh wave of tear poured from my eyes as my heart burst into anger.

“ is that all? “

“ She wants Emma , Lily and Sky to in it also. “ His face twisted in to one of confusion once more.  “ Sirius, you simply wouldn’t understand. She tells me she wants me to be happy but can’t she see I’m everything but. I wake up in the morning with either a phone call or a letter on my bedside table, sometimes I don’t see her for weeks.  For once I want to be loved and I try…. I’m just not enough. “  I felt his hand move down to my cheek as he wiped the fallen tears from my face.

“ Look at me. “ He demanded.  I waited for a second before slowly looking up into his grey eyes, his strong and determined eyes. “  You are loved and you mean much more then that, remember that “I nodded my eyes not leaving his own, not blinking and I watched as his grey orbs travelled down  my face and stopping at my lips, my own blue eyes down the same. His lips looked soft and inviting as his tongue ran across it.  I looked back up to his eyes and in a matter of seconds his lips were on mind, kissing me hungrily.

 We were up and off the couch, his hand travelled around my waist as the other explored my hair.  There was lust in every touch , kiss and nip. It was so quick, in a matter of moments we were up the boys staircase and into the seventh year dorm room, we passed the plaque that neither boy had noticed had been changed.  I fell onto a bed with Sirius on top of me, I wasn’t even sure whose it was. My hands travelled through his hair as he lifted my shirt over my head, tossing it to the ground with his own. Our pants came off next, in a hurry.  Our hands explored each others bodies and it was when our eyes met that I realized how completely wrong this was.

Every touch. Every kiss.  It wasn’t love, it was lust and the wanting to be something to someone. We both wanted it, yearned for it, needed it.  But it wasn’t right.


“Hey Remus, Peter!” I called down the corridor at the two boys ahead of me, spotting me they stopped long enough for me to catch up.  Peter who had his hands empty offered to help me wit h the large pile of books I was carrying.  “ Thank  Pete, you are such a gentleman” I said smiling.

“ Do you guys know where Sirius is? He borrowed my potions book for the essay we needed to finish, he left to get it but didn’t come back. “ Remus laughed.

“Typical” He said smirking. “ I’ve got one in the dorm you could us until you track down Sirius. “

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“I already finished it. “ Of course, I thought. Remus was the brains in the Marauders, he most likely finished it the day Slughorn announced it.   After giving the fat lady the password we walked into the common room and up the stairs to the boys dormitory. I giggled when I noticed that they hadn’t yet seen the plaque that Nicole had changed the week before. 

Remus opened the door but stopped half way causing Peter to get rather annoyed, pushing passed him Peter stopped, his mouth dropping.  Confused, I pushed the boys aside and was shocked at the scene in front of me.  There was Nicole and Sirius laying under the covers looking naked, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what they had done.

“ Get out of my bed. “ Remus said slowly, anger dripping from every word. I couldn’t take another minute of it so I turned around, dropping my books and ran to the dormitory where I locked myself in the bath room.

How could she do this to me, she knew.  The words echoed in my head, she knew I liked Sirius and she went and stabbed me in the back, I couldn’t believe it.  I felt as if she had ripped me open and tore my heart out. Best friends. Does that not mean anything to her?

I dropped to the ground in a bundled mess, tears escaping my eyes.


“Thanks Sirius” I said turning to the boy, my eyes filling with tears. “ I can’t believe we were about to do this. It so wrong. “ He nodded.

“I guess I’m just as lonely as you. “ I nodded, my voice seemed to have disappeared for I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t believe what we were about to do, it wasn’t only wrong it was forbidden, I couldn’t go and do that to a friend.  The thought of me simply almost doing it is enough for me to die in the pits of hell.

“ I should - “ My words were cut off by the door opening and in a matter of seconds Remus, Peter and Skylar were staring at us wide eyed, I spotted the betrayal in her eyes a fraction of a second before she ran down the stairs.  I had almost missed when Remus had told us to get out of his bed, I couldn’t believe it was his. His tone of voice scared me so I decided not to make contact with either boy.

“Mate -”

“Shut up Sirius” Remus said seething with anger. Over a stupid bed? “ Peter go pick up the rest of Sky’s books. “ Peter not wanting to witness the fight quickly scurried off.  I was about to get off the bed when Remus’s gaze turned to me.  “ Stay. “ He said simply, as if I was a house hold pet. I silently wondered what he was going to do with me. “ You don’t want to go running around naked.” He held out my black lacy bra with the tiny pink flowers, it was my favourite. Swallowing the lump in my throat I grabbed the bra and quickly put it on before getting out of the bed to retrieve the rest of my clothes.

“ Mate listen - “

“ Shut. Up. Sirius” He said, every word seemed to have meaning and even more anger as he continued.

“ No! We didn’t do anything - “

“ I saw you,  there’s no point in making up lies !” He yelled for a moment I cowered behind Sirius as I buttoned my jeans.

“ He isn’t lying. “ I said finally meeting Remus’s fiery gaze.  He laughed bitterly.  Before simply pointing towards the door. I looked up at Sirius who nodded his eyes not leaving Remus’s, quietly I picked up my shirt and left.  Tears escaping my eyes as I made my way down the steps , my feet catching on the other causing me to tumble down the remaining steps. Tears filled my eyes and I didn’t stop them as I lay on the ground shaking.

“ Nicole ?”  Looking up I spotted Frank.  “ Are you all right? “ He asked running over to me. I nodded sitting up.  His eyes widened as he spotted my naked tummy, grabbing my top out of my hands he helped me pull it on, only stopping when he heard the shouting in his dormitory.  “ It’ll be alright. “ Leaving me there at the bottom of the stair case he hurriedly made his way to his dormitory.

Chapter 5: An Almost Suicide
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Thanks Anna_Black @TDA For the amazing Chapter images:D

My heart was beating wildly in my chest.

I’ll admit I was scared, thoughts of what I was doing were running through my mind and I couldn’t help the pool of tears from rolling down my cheeks. It was the only way out, I told myself silently in my crack voice.  I had no where else to turn to, I felt completely lost in a world full of people, of friends.  I silently wondered if anyone truly cared for me.

My heart was beating wildly in my chest. Like a canon. Boom. Boom.

I simply couldn’t take it, at the point I couldn’t decipher if my heart was beating or breaking.   I exhaled the breath I hardly knew I had taken.   My hands shook as I wiped my  wet hair from the face, tears still streaming my cheeks.  I let out a sob, I should have locked the door but I had left my wand on my nigh stand. I didn’t think I’d need it.

I took a large breath before I plunged under the water.  Soon my air had gone just like my mind, my heart, my emotion and my life.


I let out a frustrated growl as I entered the Gryffindor common room. It was filled with students all finishing their homework for classes the next day.  I had been searching for my friends for hours and they couldn’t be found anywhere, it was as if they had fallen off the face of the earth. It was my third time in the common room in four hours and I was hoping beyond hope that I’d find someone.  Emma had left not long ago to the hospital wing to get potions from Madame Pomfrey and the marauders had left the moment I entered the heads common room, neither of them looking happy.  Nicole and Skylar couldn’t be found anywhere,  after Emma had told me what happened the night before I guess they wouldn’t be found together.  I still couldn’t believe Nicole had done that , it was hard to thing real.

I asked around the common room but no one had seen either girl for hours. Frustrated I was about to leave but thought I’d take a chance and investigate the 7th year girls dormitory, it was possible one of them were up there catching up on their beauty sleep or doing any other nonsensical thing they usually did. I sighed remembering that they used to do their odd and random acts together and hoped everything would go back to normal soon, I wasn’t ready for change.

“Nicole! Skylar!” I called opening the door to their dormitory. As expected no one was in sight. I sighed about to turn around when I noticed the bathroom light on peaking under the door, I walked toward the door and turned the knob ; it was unlocked.  “Sky? Nicole?” I asked opening the door a bit, wide enough to peak in. Only the sinks were in sight so I walked in, the stalls to my left and a row of sinks and mirrors to my right.  Bending down I checked under the stall for feet but none could be seen so I continued to the end of the bathroom where the showers and tubs were placed behind curtains.

I smile arrived on my face when I spotted clothes on the ground and a blurry shape in the tub, I called their names once more but the person behind the curtain didn’t make a sign of recognition. Furrowing my brow I pulled the curtain back with a swift movement.

I backed away with a gasp, my hands flying to my mouth at the sight in front of me.  It was a girl in the tub, her body under water while her legs hang over the edge lazily. Coming to my senses I ran over and plunged my arms into the water , wrapping them around her torso I pulled her out and laid her on the ground. My hands shaky I pulled back the dark curtain of hair covering her face to reveal the delicate features of my best friends ; Nicole. A loud sob escaped my mouth as I let out a silent, pathetic call for help.

“Help….” I called once more, surely someone in the common room would hear me. Remembering how loud it was when I was down there I wondered if I should leave me friend there or go and get help.  I let out a piercing scream and started shaking my friend. Her arms, wet and cold, felt far away as my hands gripped them.

“Wake up… Wake up … Wake up!”  Tears poured down my cheeks as I moved my hands up to her face.

“Help!” I let out a piercing call. Someone should hear me by now, I hoped.

“ Lily? “ Came a confused call from behind me, turning around I was met by another one of my best friends. As Skylars eyes fell upon Nicoles pale face she hurried over. For a second she hesitated, wondering what to do, I hoped she wasn’t clueless like me. Finally putting a hand under Nicoles neck she tilted her head up before plugging her nose, Skylar placed her mouth on our friends for a second or two before lifting it up and moving her hands to Nicoles chest; her heart.

“one.. Two.. Three..” I heard her mutter as she pushed once, twice and again.  She did this routine one more, furious this time as a fresh wave of tears escaped her eyes. I gasped when I heard a loud intake of breath from my friend on the floor, she rolled to her side and coughed out water.  I moved closer to my friends and enveloped Nicole in a hug not letting her go as Skylar sat against the wall crying, we were found like that long after by Emma.


Dinner was awkward  and it was obvious as I examined everyone. Peter was shifting his glances between me, Sirius, Remus and Skylar between each large bite, James was peaking at Lily from the corner of his eye as if no one noticed, whiled she pretended she sent me a sympathetic smile as her hand enclosed around mine. I shook her off as I stared at Remus who was glaring down at the wooden table, catching my gaze he shook his head and looked back down, Sirius who was in the same manner was brooding as he ate his dinner. I turned my gaze to Emma who was on the other side of me, she wouldn’t look up at anyone and I wasn’t sure if she was angry at anyone or not so I simply turned my gaze to Skylar, on feeling my eyes on the side of her head she looked up at me and as if expecting it was me she glared right away.

I kept my gaze on her not wanting to break it but instead of her looking away she stood up and angrily stormed from the chatty Great hall, at this everyone  in our group looked up and fallowed her out.  I felt Lily’s eyes on my  face but I ignored her as I also stood up and fallowed my usual hyper and happy friend into the corridor where I spotted her walking quickly in front of me.

“ Sky stop!” I called  and she did as I asked but turned around , her eyes blazing. 

“ Just because I saved you god damn pathetic life doesn’t mean I forgive you for what happened between you and Sirius!” She yelled, her cheeks red and eyes shiny with emotion.  “ You knew and you still stabbed me in the back like it meant nothing - “ I cut her off, I needed to set her straight.

“ Sky you have a right to be mad at me  - “ she cut me off with a ‘ Hell ya!’ “ but for the right reason !” Tears were streaming down my face and silently wondered why we cried so much lately.

“ And whats that you tripped and fell on each other!” the statement would have been funny in any other circumstance so I continued.

“ You deserved to be mad at me for betraying you in such a way but for not sleeping with him! “ I could tell she was about to speak so I cut her off angrily  “ I did not sleep with him Skylar! Yes we were thinking it at the time and we were about to do it but then it hit us both how wrong it was, I don’t know why for him but you were my reason. It hit me who he was and what I was doing and I just couldn’t do that to you just to simply feel close to some guy for a night.  Yes you’ve got the right to be mad at me but I just wanted you to know the real reason….” Skylar nodded , wiping the tears from her cheeks she turned around and headed further down the corridor.  Turning around I stopped in my tracks  to spot the marauders with Lily and Emma.

Peter was looking nervously between Remus and Sirius, the first boy ignoring the seconds pleading looks. James was watching as Lily approached me with a motherly smile, one saying she’s proud of you.  Wrapping her arms around me I aloud a fresh wave of tears. Over the red heads shoulder I spotted Emma approaching, a savage look on her face. I smiled at her pulling away from Lily as she approached, in return I received a sharp smack across the face.

The pain was unbearable, the first thing I noticed was the boys shocked faces.

“If you ever do something like that to me again I swear to Merlin… “ She didn’t continue for she through herself at me, wrapping my arms around  her waist  I hugged my cousin tightly.  Mutters of ‘I’m sorry’ on her cheek.


Our whole gang was sitting in front of the fire merrily, laughing and smiling. Skylar was still not talking to me but  as I smiled at her she nodded which I took as a sign of moving forward between our problems. There was one person missing and as I excused myself from my friends and telling them that I’m alright to cure the worry of Lily and Emma, I hoped the boys didn’t know about the incident this morning but one look on their blank faces and I wasn’t sure.

I climbed up the boys staircase slowly trying to slow down the conversation that would soon happen. Taking a deep breath I knocked but no reply so I knocked once more ,louder this time. I was becoming impatient and wondered if he was asleep so I slowly opened the door, allowing myself entry to the boys dormitory and ignoring the plaque beside the door as I shut it.  I gazed shyly towards the bed were me and Sirius previously lay, almost making one large mistake ; Remus’s bed.

“What are you doing here?” He asked coolly not removing his eyes from the book in his hands.  I shrugged approaching the bed to sit by his feet but thought better of it and sat on the opposite bed. “That’s Sirius’s bed.” He informed me robotically. I sighed and stood up.

“Listen Remus, I truthfully don’t understand why your mad at me or Sirius - it isn’t like we did any thing in your bed and anyways I’m sure if someone did the house elves would clean it.” I informed him, approaching slowly.

“ My bed…” He said silently before nodding.  “ Your right… I guess I got mad … for Sky and everything.” I nodded laying down on his bed beside him.

“ You knew about Sky ?” He nodded. I sighed, smiling up at him. “Thanks Remus, you’re a great friend. … Dude you read poetry” I giggled  noticing his crooked smile.  You know those moments, when they are simply perfect in every way, like this one, being besides a good friend laughing over dumb things and then suddenly they are ruined, this is exactly like that.

“What was Sky talking about, at dinner ?” I looked back up at him, my eye large and shrugged  stuttered. “And then Emma slapped you, I didn’t think it was because the whole Sirius thing. “ He said cutting of my awful attempts of an excuse. “What did Sky mean she saved your life, are you in some sort of trouble Nicole.” I smiled up at him confusing him, I didn’t want to lie to Remus so I simply shrugged and stood up ready to leave the boys stuffy dormitory to my own so I can cower in my bed.  But Remus was quick and strong and as he grabbed my lower arm I couldn’t release his grip.

“ Tell me “ He said forcefully. I sent him a sharp glare.

“ You want to know Damnit!” I shriek  hitting his hand away from me but it only tightened his grip.  “ I tried killing myself and like Sky said she came in to save my pathetic ass, I guess next time I’ll try a better technique.” He let go of me arm shocked and I ran out of the room.


Later that night Remus lay in his four post bed, staring out into space as his friends entered the dormitory.  He didn’t understand, what were her motives ,why would she do such a thing.  Didn’t she care for him at all, but then he reminded himself that she didn’t, he was only her friend while she was his world.

“ What is it mate?” Sirius asked sketchily, hoping within hope that his friend would soon forgive him. Remus shook his head, Sirius spotted the boys tear filled eyes and approached.

“ Nicole tried to kill herself. “ Shocked Sirius fell back on his bed, staring into space also as James and Peter kept their shocked glances on Remus.

Chapter 6: Those three words
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Streamers hung across the walls, joined by groups of black and orange balloons. Candles floating in the air gave the Gryffindor common room a spooky look, which was only added by the scary screams and laughs of the balloons.  Emma, her face red from anger, was attempting to blow up an orange balloon but it was only getting harder the more she got annoyed.

“This wouldn’t be half bad if these things weren’t magical…” She said bitterly tossing the deflated balloon on the ground. The people around her laughed. It was a couple days before Halloween and not only did they not have classes the gang was preparing for a party they were throwing in the Gryffindor common room. Emma sat on the couch miserable, her hand on her almost four months belly, between Remus and Lily who were also blowing up balloons while James, Skylar, Nicole and Sirius hung them up as well as set up the treat table and the music.

“ This is going to be the best party ever!” James half screamed excitedly , a large smile on his face and he looked at his friends.

“That’s what you said about your summer party… and well…”Remus travelled off sending a quick side glance to Lily who pretended not to notice.

“Who’s coming with me to get the candy?” Nicole asked, changing the subject.  Not a second after Sirius and James hands shot up. “ Anyone ?” She asked desperately, ignoring the two boys jumping in front of her. “ Anyone? No, guess I’m going alone. “

“Aw, come on Nicole, bring us” James said pouting. Nicole matched his pout, she didn’t want to bring the two overly hyper boys. You would think they’d be tiered at such an early time in the morning but the amount of candy they had already eaten quickly changed that.

“ I promised Ms. Cha that I wouldn’t bring you two.” She lied about the Honeydukes owner.

“I’ll come with you.. “ Remus offered, most likely out of pity, Nicole thought but smiled nonetheless and ran up the stairs to fetch her sweater. On her way back down she ignored the glares of Sirius and James and joined Remus out the portrait whole. But they stopped before they could fully leave the common room for in front of them was Peter.

“Hey Pete, where have you been? “ Nicole asked patting the blonde boy on the back.

“ Just… Walking around, trying to figure out how to do all my home work, I think I’ve figured it out..” He said, hands in his pockets.

“And how’s that?” Remus asked as they allowed Peter to step into the common room.

“ I’ve got a tutor in Ravenclaw. “ Nodding Remus and Nicole left Peter who was being beckoned by the others to help them.

The walked to Hogsmead was awkward and strange, Nicole knew Remus wanted to talk about the night when she told him about her attempted suicide and she hoped he wouldn’t bring it up any time soon. She sensed it - it was the determined look in his eyes as they stared at her, it was the way he walked with eagerly and it was the way he courageously opened his mouth to ask her the dreaded question.

“Race you!” She yelled before running down the curving road towards Hogwarts gates. She heard him behind her, most likely aggravated and annoyed from either her sly tactics of keeping the topic out of the air or maybe it was because she was kicking dirt and rocks at him as she ran. She couldn’t tell , maybe a bit of both.  A giggle escaped her mouth as she noticed the new determination in Remus as he finally started running at his own speed instead of her own.  Smirking she ran as fast as she can with her short legs which was obviously not enough, she was still a far ways down when Remus reached the gates, hands on his knees he huffed and puffed.

“ You … suck “ He said between breath letting out a pained chuckled as he stood up fallowing her through Hogsmead.  Once they arrived at Honeydukes they had stopped breathing so deeply and were now back to their awkward stage, it was as if they had taken two steps back.

“Did they want anything special ? “ Nicole asked him, averting her eyes from his to look around the store. She smiled and Mrs. Cha, the owner.  Remus shrugged.  Going their own ways they both collected three bags full of candies from chocolate frogs to every flavored jelly beans to licorice wands.  They were both relieved when they got back to the common room where all their friends had finished decorating and were now sitting around the room, bored.  It was more then just them, Gryffindors from every year awed at the seventh years  surprise and most of the first and second years cheered and smiled brightly when Nicole and Remus came in with the bags of candy.


The party had started long ago and most of the first to fourth years were all in bed leaving the older students to partying.  The group cheered when Sirius and James walked in with bottles of whiskey  and hurried over to the table to mix it with the punch they were drinking.  Nicole smiled and handed Skylar a drink before taking a seat on the arm of her chair.

“Thanks” Sky said taking a sip, she scrunched up her nose for a second before smiling up at Nicole.  “Great party”

“Yea, one thing the Marauders know how to do is throw a blasting party “ Smiling brightly Nicole scanned the room. She soon burst out laughing, tears streaming from her eyes causing Skylar, who was also a bit tipsy, to look at her oddly.  Nicole could hardly talk to she simply pointed to the opposite side of the room where James was sitting on an arm chair, making out with Lily who was sitting on top of him, on the armchair across from them were Remus and Sirius who looked rather uncomfortable at sitting together in such a small space.  Grabbing Skylar by the arm she dragged her towards the majority of their friends.  Peter had decided to stay with Emma in the heads dormitories for the night.

“Bloody hell!”

Nicole and Skylar stopped their awkward and clumsy march to their friends, Sirius and Remus stopped trying to push the other off the chair and Lily and James stopped making out  to all stare a the pissed off blonde looking at James and Lily.

“James Potter you cheating prig!” Ashley screamed, her face red and her hair a mess.  James looked at the girl scared while Lily looked around confused, a hiccup leaving her mouth every once in a while.  Angrily Ashley pulled Lily off of him, throwing her to the ground before grabbing James and dragging him out the portrait hole. Everything was quiet until Sirius opened his mouth.

“That girl is tough” He chuckled causing the whole common room to erupt in laughter.  A laughing Nicole and Skyler picked Lily up by the arms and started walking her towards the portrait hole but were stopped by a confused Sirius.  “Where are you going - the parties only started?” He called.

“To the heads dorms, coming ?” Skylar asked, sending Sirius a half smile. He nodded, a large smile appeared on his face as he pulled Remus out the portrait hole behind the girls.  Half way there Lily tripped on a trick stair causing the group to fall. At the bottom of the stair case, bruised the group started laughing.

“ Has anyone noticed that we trip more often then normal? “ Nicole asked trying to pick up a sleeping Lily.  Huffing she dropped her causing Remus to shake his head slightly amused, he picked the red head up and carried her the rest of the way on his shoulder while the rest of his friends made a fool of them selves.

“Snuffleupagus!” Nicole and Skylar screamed , a minute later Lily mimicked then quietly as the door to the heads dormitory opened to reveal Peter and Emma on the couch playing a game of  Pictionary. Nicole, Skylar and Sirius squealed and hurried over to the couch to join the two.  Remus laid Lily sat the now awake Lily down besides Peter before taking a seat himself.

Soon the game began.


“Snuffleupagus” James muttered tiredly, his head pounding from his morning hang over. He groaned as the door banged loudly behind him.  He had stayed up all night with Ashley who yelled at him for the most part, finally when he started sobering up he apologized and spent the rest of the night in her bed. He didn’t care for the girl and he knew he was only there for show, silently he wondered why he stuck around girls like that.  He stopped mid step after noticing the group of people on the couches. Emma had fallen asleep on the armchair with Peter snoring against her knees as he sprayed out on the ground, Sirius and Remus slept on each side of one couch while  the girls cuddled on the other.

He looked at all his friends and wondered if they were happy. Silently he chuckled, James Potter doesn’t think such things he reminded himself as his eyes fell on the sleeping red head. He walked over to her and gently brush a lock of hair from her face, she was beautiful and he knew it. It was hard for him to deny his heart what it wanted, it was hard for him to smirk at her each time he sees her pleading eyes, he knows he’s being an arse but after all those years of her doing the similar thing his ego was to big to allow her to win.

His head wanted to hurt her like she hurt him.
His heart wanted to fall at her knees and declare his love.

Chuckling bitterly he made the rest of his way to his room, not bothering to change as he slipped under the covers and fell asleep.

Lily opened her tear filled eyes only moments after James turned his back on her and she muttered ‘ I love you’ before allowing the tears to silently dance across her cheeks.

Hearing James door close with a click she got up slowly form beside Skylar and made her way over to the head boys door, turning the knob she stuck her head in. James was laying on his bed, he looked so peaceful. Lily smiled about to turn around when she heard his voice.

“ I hate you “ he muttered, she turned back to him her eyes filling with tears.  He kept his eyes averted from her own as he stared at the canopy over him.  He face was set in a stony way , one with no emotion.  Finally he turned his face to her and glared. “ I see you happy and laughing and all I want to do is hurt you like you did to me. I want you to feel exactly how I have felt for the past four years.”

“ I never meant to hurt you James” she said sobbed.

 “Don’t! Don’t you dare call me by my name - its Potter to you Evans!”  He had quickly gotten out of his bed and walked over to her, his eyes narrowed and his face was red.  But Lily couldn’t stop herself from thinking how good looking he was and she told him so.  He shook his head angry. “ Stop!” slamming his hand against the wall he caused Lily to jump.  For the past couple years you’ve killed me and now its my turn.” pushing her out of the room he slammed the door.

It felt like déjà vu a Lily found herself once again locked in her bathroom, the black clothe had fallen to the ground as she grasped the blade. She glared at herself in the mirror, tears and makeup streaming her face, she looked horrible. She wasn’t pretty.  She wasn’t funny. She wasn’t skinny or perfect. She wasn’t enough for James Potter. She didn’t care anymore, the silent objection didn’t come so she pressed down hard on her skin. She let out a cry and fell to the ground as the blood spilled down her arm, grabbing at her towel she quickly wrapped it around her arm, blood was already dropping to the floor and she was becoming over whelmed with exhaustion.

Chapter 7: Secrets Out
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Everyone has secrets.

And now they are to be discovered.

5 PM
The Great hall

“Where is she ?”

“I don’t know I haven’t seen her all day”

“Me either, me and Skylar went to the Heads dorms after first period but the password was changed.”

“There’s James.”

“James!” Nicole, Skylar and Emma called the dark haired boy over to their spot at the Gryffindor table. James, after sending them a confused look took a seat between the two cousins and across from Skylar.  They soon after explained their dilemma, how Lily had been missing all day and when they had gone to the Heads dormitories the password has changed.

“So can you give it to us ?” Sky asked smiling sweetly.  James shook his head causing the girls smiles to drop.

“I was the one to change the password because you all always come in without invitation -”

“But James, Lily could be hurt!” Nicole said  grabbing on to his shoulder.  He shrugged her off.

“I’ll go check up on her, only because you guys are annoying and frankly Emma scares me.” Nicoles and Skylars smiles turned to Emma who looked angry and aggravated at James.

Heads Dormitories

Groggily she opened her eyes, the sun streaming through the window caused them to ache but she ignored it as she sat up. This wasn’t the first time she had passed out after cutting, only to wake up on the bath room floor.  Lately she had been doing it every night but last night when she had woken up in the washroom all the memories of the recent week and weekend came flooding back and all she could do was return the razor to her arm.  From the spot where the sun sat it was clearly some time in the afternoon, the still bright sun would set in only a couple hours time.

She heard a knock on her bedroom door which was soon fallowed by James voice calling her name.

‘ Why is James here? ‘ she wondered locking the bathroom door. Though still dizzy she picked up the white towel and started cleaning up the blood on the floor.  From the corner of her eye she saw the dry blood on her arms which hurt extremely.  She heard a click and not a second later there was a knock at the washroom door.

“Lily, its me.” Was all he said, she quickly got up and unlocked the door, opening it only enough to stick her head through.  He stared at her oddly and in disgust.

“I thought you hated me ?”

“I do “ He told her, his face clear of any emotion. “ Your friends have been worried about you , I changed the password and didn’t want them hanging around here all the time.” He turned around and walked towards the door but stopped and looked over his shoulder. “ I’ll tell them your alive. By the way the knew password is Vengeance.” He walked out of her room closing the door behind him.  Sighing Lily fell to the floor and grasped her arm.

Dungeons Corridor

Ashley was walking from the Great hall on her way to the Hufflepuff house, lately her friends had been annoying her and James kept running off, all she wanted to do was go to her dorm and lay in her bed for the rest of the night. But as she came to  a turn she heard deep voices and once squeaky one and had the sudden feeling she wasn’t going to make it to bed. 

Hiding around the corner she peaked over to see a group of Slytherins surround one Gryffindor. She recognized the Gryffindor boy as her boyfriends friend, Peter Pettigrew.

‘What lame boy…’ she though as her eyes roamed the scene. The boy was twitchy and jumpy  and Ashley was debating whether or not she should save him. But her debating was cut short when she seen one of the taller Slytherin boys, whose back was to her, shake hands with Peter.

‘Are they making a deal?’ she asked herself, now completely confused.  It soon dawned on her that Peter Pettigrew, a marauder, was making some sort of deal with the Slytherins. ‘Oh, what good material for blackmail’.  She hide behind a statue as the  three Slytherins walked passed her, they were soon after fallowed by Peter but she wasn’t going to let him get away. Jumping out from behind the statue she grabbed his arm causing him to jump back in fright, tripping over his feet he fell to the ground.  Ashley chuckled, leaning over him with her hand outstretched she said -

“ I think we need to talk.”

6 pm
Perfects Bathroom

Lily sighed as she slipped off her robe leaving her in her knickers and bra.  She was glad that no one had been in the corridor for it would have been overly embarrassing if they seen her in her knickers.  She stepped in front of the mirror, dropping her purse in the sink she took out some cream and a pad and started removing the makeup from her face which had been their since the day before.

She felt weird being in the perfects bathroom, she hadn’t been in their since last year. Now that she’s head girl she has her own bathroom, just as big but with what has been happening in their lately Lily couldn’t make herself relax so decided to come down into this bathroom.  She took the scrunchy out of her hair letting it flow down her back.

She suddenly jumped at hearing the door close loudly behind her.  Her eyes were wide, no one was in the room so someone must have come in and seen her then quickly left.  She gasped and looked down at her naked arms.

‘ They must have seen’

Room of Requirement

Emma walked by the wall three times, imagining the same room she had imagined plenty of times before. The long, comfy couch, a coffee table and big fireplace. Finally she stopped and opened the door that appeared, smiling largely when she noticed the boy sitting on the couch looking into the fire. The first thought that came to her mind was how gorgeous the boy was but in truth their relationship wasn’t like that, though she liked the boy, they were merely friends and had known each other for the most part of their lives.

He turned to her, his dark hair falling into his blue eyes, he smiled at her before getting up and walking over. She sighed when he wrapped his arms around her. Chuckling he put a hand to her belly.

“How’s the girl doing ?” Regulus asked walking Emma over to the couch, his hand enveloped in hers.

“She’s doing good, I was thinking of going to see Madam Pomfrey latter on tonight. St. Mungo’s was supposed to send her documents and she said she can most likely tell me the due date.” Emma said happily.

Regulus had known Emma ever since he was a little boy and she had always seemed like an angry person to him but lately he found that she seemed more happy. After moving in with her cousin and now pregnant though under horrible circumstances, she was happier then ever. Just that small fact made him happy.

Room of Requirement

Skylar looked around her sketchily, positive that no one was around she walked passed the plain wall three times, on her last time a door appeared. Smiling she eagerly walked in closing the door behind her but stop mid stride after noticing that the room she was in was not the one she envisioned.  Another shock hit her when she turned towards the couch that was in the room where two individuals sat.

“ Emma ?” He friend looked up at her , her eyes large and the boy with his back to Skylar turned around to reveal his identity to be Regulus Black. “ What are you doing here with him!”  Awkwardly Regulus stood up.

“ I think I’m going to get going, someone’s expecting me anyways.” With a smile to Emma he left leaving the two friends alone.

“ What the heck!”  Taking a deep breath Emma motioned for Skylar to sit with her on the couch. Finally breaking into temptation she took Regulus’s previous spot, dropping her bag on the floor.  “Em whats going on ?”

“ It isn’t anything really.. “ Skylar gave her a warning gaze, Emma sighed. “ Since the middle of last year Regulus and I have been meeting in here, just to talk or do homework  and stuff. More lately after he found out about the pregnancy. Sky I know you don’t like this but I’ve known the Blacks since I was a little girl, I trust Regulus just as much as Sirius.” Sky nodded looking into the fire.

“Do you like him ?”

“Sky I’m pregnant -”

“Don’t blame this on her, do you like him or not?” She asked returning her gaze on her friend. Emma sighed and nodded.


She hurried up the winding stair case to the owlery. Skylar couldn’t believe she had lost her bag, she could live with losing her homework but everything else was just incredibly stupid of her and to put the cherry on the top of the cake she had completely forgotten where she had put it. Just thinking of it was making her head ache.  Finally reaching the top she was glad to see she was alone for the acceptation of the disgusting smelling owls.  She took the parchment and quill out of her back pocket, where she had put it hurriedly on her way out of the Gryffindor common room, and quickly wrote the letter.

Dear J.

I need more stuff - tonight!
Owl me back with time and place.



“Are you kidding me !” The girl squealed, her blond locks flying about her face in soft ringlets.

“Ashley I don’t think this is such a great idea -” Ashley stopped laughing and shot a glare at Peter.

“Ok you little rat, listen close. Your going to help me get my revenge on Lily Evans or I will tell the whole school what I saw and I’ll also add a little tidbit.” The boy sighed causing the girls to smirk once more. “ Who would believe it, oh so perfect Lily Evans. Well she’s getting whats coming to her, she’ll be so embarrassed, in front of the whole school no less, as well as James.”

Behind a near by book shelf stood James Potter, he stood quietly as he listened to Ashley and her silent companion plan their revenge on Lily.

Hospital Wing

Looking at her wrist watch Emma gasped, leaving her books and homework on the coffee table in the  common room, she got up and ran out of the portrait hole. It was five minute to eight, she had promised Pomfrey that she’d be there twenty to. Walking as fast as she could Emma was glad when she got their twenty after. 

Looking around the hospital wing she spotted Madame Pomfrey at the other end with another patient, taking a deep breath Emma lifter herself up on one of the beds to wait for the Medi witch.  Over the soft music that played in the room she couldn’t help herself from eaves dropping on the conversation the witch and her patient were having and was shocked when it turned out to be one of her friends.

“ ….. well mister Lupin, your rib is all right from last nights transformation, you’ll be up and new by next months full moon. Too bad you’ll be right back here. You can go”  Emma’s mouth was a gap, did she really just hear what she thought she heard?

Transformation + Full moon = only one thing

‘ Remus is a werewolf” she thought bewildered she averted her eyes to the ground as the boy walked by , a surprised look on his face as he spotted her.

“Ah, Miss Courtmen, fallow me into my office I have your papers.”

Room of Requirement

Remus didn't stop running until  he came to  the familiar brick wall. Walking past it three times all he could  think of was how it was possible that Emma knew about his furry little problem. When the door appeared he hurried in, slamming the door behind him he started to pace.

Running his hands through his hair he wondered if she heard, if it was even possible for her to have heard.

'Would she tell ? ' He asked himself.

'If she told someone then they might get worried and tell someone else - it'll be around the whole school in know time..... I'll be kicked out of Hogwarts. ' He was breathing deeply by now and needed to take a seat before he had a heart attack.  He hurried over to the red leather could and took a seat on - something hard.

Standing up he found that someone had left their bag in the room. Furrowing his brow he picked up the bag, he recognized it from somewhere.  Curiosity got the best of him and he open the bag, his eyes went wide for inside was a bottle of gin along with a bag of small white pills. Suddenly he remembered where he had seen the bag, checking the strap he groaned.


Empty Classroom

"So you know who it is ? " Sirius asked the younger boy in front of him, it was like looking into his younger version. Though he could see hundreds of similarities between him and his younger brother their were plenty of differences, like there being in different houses.

"No, not really. I know it was a Death Eater. Malfoy and Avery were talking about it - " Regulus suddenly stopped talking and peeked behind him. Sirius couldn't see anything but suddenly Regulus pulled his wand out and muttered a 'sorry'.

"Oh, look who it is - Mudblood loving Black " Lucius Malfoy called walking into the room. 

"I was just about to - "

"Sure " Lucius cut off the youngest Black. " Well let me just finish what you - " There was a loud clanking causing the three boys to turn towards the door where Alice , another seventh year Gryffindor, stood in shock. She had know time to think before Sirius screamed at her to run and she obliged.


Alice turned her head to look behind her as she ran, breathing hard she hoped she had lost Lucius or Regulus  back  at the empty classroom. Her light brown locks flapped across her face blurring her vision causing her not to see anyone in front of her clearly causing her to run straight into another body.

Falling to the ground , her back pack was ripped away from her shoulder and slid across the corridor.  Looking up her eyes met a large pair of hands, looking up to their owners eyes she couldn't help but smile.

" Clumsy much ?"  Frank help Alice up before going to go pick up her bag, he  placed it on her shoulder.  

Alice’s cheeks when rosy red  as she felt Franks hand linger on her shoulder. 

"What were you running from ? "  Alice smiled and took a peak behind her. 

"I thought i was running from Malfoy and Black - "

"Wait what ?"

"I seen them dueling Sirius, i guess i kind of saved him."  Frank smiled down at her , leaning closer he grabbed her hand and kissed the top of her nose.

"Frank!" She warned quietly as she spotted Nicole, her dorm mate, walk by.


Sirius ran as fast as he could, breathing deeply, he heard two pairs of footsteps running behind him. He would surely  give Regulus a good smacking for almost hexing him and reminded himself to thank Alice as he quickly took a sharp left in what turned out to be the girls washrooms.

He sighed as he heard the two Slytherins run past and around the corner.

' I really need to stay out of trouble' he thought to himself.

 Sirius picked himself up from the floor about to leave the washroom when he heard a scary sound, a gasping and gagging sound. He walked towards  the stalls and spotted a pair of black shoes on the ground. Someone was kneeling in front of the toilette.

' Who does that' he asked himself.

Inching closer he gasped once seeing the delicate face of one of his closest friends, Nicole, her finger down her throat. She jumped and hurriedly stood up, she couldn't talk once coming face to face with Sirius.  After the shock had gone over him his face turned to one of rage, he quickly moved over to her and grabbed her tightly around the arms.

"What are you doing !" He screamed shacking her.

"Stop it ! Sirius let me go!"

"What are you  -" She cut him off with a slap across the face, before he could react she turned away and ran from the washroom, no stopping or turning around to see if he was fallowing her.


Nicole tried to calm her breathing as she took a seat against a book shelf. Her throat hurt and the more she thought about it her whole body hurt.  Suddenly without reason she broke out into sobs, her body hurt with everyone but she didn't care , nor did she stop. 

Finally when they did slow down she heard something that shocked to , making her forget about the tear and the hurt.

" Finally i'll be able to get my revenge on that prissy little stuck up Evans - lets go"  Gasping Nicole hide behind the book case, she watched as two shadows passed her, she couldn't identify them but knew one was Ashley, James recent  girlfriend.  It shocked her for no less then a couple seconds later James walked out from behind a book case across from her.

"James ? "


She breathed in the cold air as she  said goodbye to Madame Rosemerta and thanked her for the supplies. Lily was out on one of her head duties, Professor Slughorn had asked her to pick up some last minute ingredients for their morning class. 

Walking away from the pub she groaned loudly, her red locks her now frizzy and became annoying too quickly as it kept tickling her face. The cold had caused her eyes and mouth to go dry and it felt as if her fingers were about to fall off.  Thinking that it was only the end of October and that it wouldn’t be so cold she had only sported a jacket and a hat her mother had made for her the year previous. 

She scolded herself for her stupidity.

Lily stopped in her tracks as she heard rustling from the alley diagonal from herself, fear moved in.  She wondered if it was a perverted drunk or wild animal. Placing herself flatly against the brick  in front of a shop she peeked around the corner and saw two shapes, definitely human. She figured they weren’t drunk for they were talking clearly and hadn’t fallen down ever since she began spying on them.

One of them she didn’t recognize, a older man in his late twenties with long stringy and greasy black hair. His nose was pointy and large. A shiver went up her spine as she watched his lips twitch into a smirk. The second person she recognized. From the long blond hair to the snappy attitude. 

“Sky?” She muttered under her breath.

“You lost it ? “ The man asked bewildered but yet amused.

“Yea - Just give me the same amount , I got the money right here. “ The guy shook his head and from out of his back he pulled out three bottles of liquor as well as a back of drugs.

Lily paled.

She was at a loss of what to do.

Gryffindor Tower

“We can’t let her do this James!” Nicole shrieked as she fallowed the boy  passed the portrait of the fat lady and into the common room.  She was beyond angry - Nicole Isabelle Audrey Lamoure was pissed.

“Why not! I’m not going to get into anyone’s way. This isn’t my business- “

“Bull! You made it you business when you started eavesdropping just as I did. How can you do that to her, I thought you love her. “ James scoffed.

Love her! 

“Love her! Why should I she had been causing me misery from day one - “

“ So your  going to go ahead and do the exact same thing to her! We aren’t in preschool anymore Potter so you better get you act together and try to figure out who you actually care for.  I know I’m one of the farthest from being your friend but…  don’t you care. “ Shaking her head Nicole walked passed the boy towards the girls staircase.

“No matter what I’m going to get back at Ashley and you can’t stop me. “ She took the first step before turning around once more. “I thought you were better then this James.” Finally she went the rest of the way up towards her dormitory, boiling with fury.

Back in the common room James lets out a growl.

He doesn’t no what to do.

So he paces.

Forbidden Forest

Eric Brown wasn’t known to be the sneaky type, or well as much as Dorcas new the boy.  Two weeks previous she had witnessed the boy sneaking in to the forbidden forest from the window in her dormitory, she had seen him do this  once before.  It confused her as to why he was doing such a thing.

That night as she fallowed the boy silently she wondered if maybe he met a secret girlfriend, maybe he turned into an ugly ogre at night, he could possibly be part of a secret cult. The more Dorcas moved further into the forest the more ridiculous ideas entered her mind. Suddenly Eric stopped in front of a clearing, he hid behind a tree keeping hidden from… what?

Dorcas hid behind a tree a couple feet away and was surprised when a fire appeared in the middle of the clearing. Whats going on ? She asked her self several times, each time it felt as if she lost a bit of her sanity.

Finally in the clearing a figure in a black cloak appeared, seconds after him another and another. Their must have been thirty of them, all dressed in black cloaks and silver masks. Dorcas had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, she had a feeling she knew what this was.  Her assumption was proven correct when in the middle of the clearing, in front of the fire a man appeared, this one was not wearing a mask. Dorcas shivered, she was frightened. 

When scared people do odd things, she forgot about the others, about Eric. Standing up she ran and tripped over a tree vine, getting the attention of Eric as well as the Dark lord and the death eaters. Eric paled, he ran towards the girl and helped her up and whispered in her ear.


Room Of Requirement

Skylar sighed happily as she walked into the room of requirements, a plastic bag In hand. She found herself desperate but never would she admit it.  She paled when she noticed that on the couch, sitting with her lost bag in his hands, was Remus Lupin looking livid.

“Hello Skylar….Lose something ?” He said lifting the bag over his head, she seen that he had emptied the continents on the coffee table. She stared at it in hunger before turning her eyes to Remus.

“ I - I .. I got to go - “

“You aren’t going anywhere sky until we talk about your addiction. “ He said slowly and calmly as he stood up and came towards Sky.  He grabbed her by the shoulders and directed her towards the couch but she shrugged him off.

“ I don’t have an addiction Lupin “ She said suddenly angry.  “Its.. Its just.. “

‘ If you don’t have an addiction you won’t care if I take it away from you. “ He said lifting his hand to grab the plastic bag but she jerked away. Remus shook his head sadly. “ Why are you doing this Sky, we all thought you were happy ?” he wanted to know what was pushing her over the edge, he wanted to help her. He couldn’t fail her.

“You don’t know what its like to be abused all your life - by a stupid DRUNK!” She screamed. “ You all, you all are so perfect - I’ve got nothing but this!” She sobbed, before she could fall to the floor Remus caught her in his arms and held her as she cried.

Outside, with the door opened a crack was Lily Evans, tears leaking down her face.  Letting go of the door to whip her tears she mistakenly put her weight against it and the door opened with a slight squeak, she was glad when the two didn’t budge but when looking up to Remus’s face she met his eyes. Gaping she couldn’t think of anything to do but escape.

10 pm
Astronomy Tower

“Hey Remus” Emma said as she spotted the boy enter the tower. She turned her face back up to the stars, they were beautiful. “ They almost make all the bad in your life go out for a little while” Almost.  Sighing she turned back to the boy.

“Where were you all day?” He asked her. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you…”

“Its ok Remus….. To tell you the truth I was shocked at first, then scared. Don’t hate me for it but… I was terrified afterwards I felt so bad…. You’re my friend Remus. I don’t care who or what you are. “ She wrapped her arms around him.

“Thank you Emma.” He said quietly as he held her tightly in his arms.

“ Remus I need you to be her Godfather.” Emma said solemnly, Remus’s face brightened but on looking at hers he frowned.

“ Why me.. Is it cause you felt guilty because I don’t think - “

“She a werewolf Remus.” Sobbed Emma. “ Who ever that bastard was.. He was a werewolf.” Shocked her held her closer.   “Dumbledore told the Medi-wizard at the hospital that Madame Pomfrey will be taking care of me from now on.. Don’t you understand Remus , if anyone finds out they can kill her.”

Emma left after that saying she was tiered and needed some time alone.  Remus understood, he had things to do also, like finding Lily. But he took a minute or so and leaned against the railing over looking the grounds and sobbed.  He didn’t understand it- Emma didn’t deserve this, none of them deserved any of it.

Gryffindor Tower

Walking through the portrait hole Remus was shocked to see  James pacing in the common room. ‘Shouldn’t he be in his dormitory, gloating about his freedom without them barging in ?’ Remus stopped himself from saying anything similar out loud, he figured that after witnessing and hearing so many different secrets in one nigh can surely mess someone up.

“Hey James, whats wrong ?” He asked as he took his back off and sat in front of the couch ready to do his homework which as soon as James began talking new he wouldn’t be able to accomplish.

“Girls are stupid, they’re ridiculous! They can be evil, so evil that it hurts! “ He let out a frustrating groan.  Picking up his bag he walked over to his friend.

“ Mate, I don’t even no which girl your talking about. “

“ Ashley… No Lily.. “Once again he let out a frustrating groan causing Remus to smile a little.

“By the way do you know where Lily is? Ever since you changed the password no one can ever find her.”  James rolled his eyes and once again groaned before hurrying out of the common room. Remus rolled his eyes, he heard the portrait open once more and a confused Alice and Frank walked in, figuring he wouldn’t be able to get any work done in the common room he  went up to his dormitory to hopefully finish it their.


Ashley and Peter left the Quidditch stadium, once angry and the other merely tiered.  Ashley huffed once more, stomping her feet as she walked but she soon stopped as she heard yelling, freezing mid step she pulled Peter into the shadows.  Running across the grounds was Eric Brown and Dorcas Meadows, two Gryffindors in which the girl wasn’t very knowledgeable about.

“Oh, no.. “ Muttered Peter.

“What is it ?” She asked her eyes still on the frightened pair.

“Tonight there was another meeting for….” He stopped but after Ashley sent him a frightening look he continued. “For the dark lord and death eaters. “ Thinking for a second, a smile appeared on Ashley’s face.

“ Peter you want the Slytherins to recognize you as a good ally right?” After a second of confusion Peter nodded. “ I have an idea. “

 Unbeknownst to them this would be only the beginning of where their lives ended and the lives of two being, now corrupted by darkness began. For when evil enters you it is terribly difficult to get rid of it.

Gryffindor Tower

Huffing and puffing the two Gryffindors hurried into the Gryffindor tower, only stopping when they finally reached the common room.  Dorcas wanted an explanation, she wanted to know why Eric was their and she wanted to know what was going to happen to them.

“Why were you there? “She asked desperately in tears. He shook his head.  “Did they see us? Eric! Did they see us?” He shook his head.

“No they didn’t ,we’re safe. “

“How do you know that “ She sobbed angrily. “Why did you go there!? “

“I- I don’t know… I - I’m sorr- “ Eric stopped when he noticed the lump on the couch, putting a finger to his lips he was surprised to see  two sleeping forms.  On the couch was Frank and Alice ,cuddling.

Head Dormitories

James was confused, he was angry. Why did girls have to be so complicated, so evil. Thoughts poured into his mind as he entered the heads dormitories in search of Lily, had she become anti- social or something, he wondered knocking on her door.

His anger only grew when there wasn’t a reply, angrily he walked into her overly, perfectly clean room. He rolled his eyes. Lily always had to be perfect, with her perfect room, perfect grades, perfect life, perfect looks. She was so perfect it angered James - it made him feel worthless sometimes when he looked at her , it made him want to love her and hate her at exactly the same time, most of the time he chose to hate her because it felt as if it was the easier choice but he soon found that neither was easy. 

Love was hard and scary and he didn’t want to think of it.

Seeing the closed bathroom door he knocked, when no one answered her opened the door. “ Lily ?” 

Shock took over him when he seen the blood smeared stains on the white tiled floor of her bathroom.  He felt sick to his stomach suddenly  and ran towards the toilet where he barfed, seconds later he noticed the blood drops near his face.  Standing up straight he inspected the rest of the washroom  which was when he noticed that the most blood was in the sink  where a found a razor blade, picking it up he gagged and ran to the toilet once more. Picking up a towel from the floor he was about to whip his face when he noticed that it to was covered in blood.

Gryffindor Tower

Frank look down at the beautiful girl laying her head on his chest and smiled.  She was so sweet and delicate, he didn’t want to move for fear he’d wake her. He brought his hand up to her hair and started playing with it, as she slept she smiled causing his happiness to engulf.

“ I love you Alice. “ He muttered half asleep and was shocked when she answered.

“I love you to Frank Long bottom. “

Heads Dormitories

Walking in to the heads dormitories Lily sighed and whipped the tears from her face, she couldn’t believe Skylar had done something like that. Suddenly she became angry, she couldn’t believe her father would hurt his daughter in a way and she couldn’t believe that ever since their third year she hadn’t suspected a thing.

Angry, sad and hurt, Lily hurried up to her room pulling off her jacket and hat as tears flowed from her eyes. All she wanted to do was take the pain away from Skylar and give it to herself and the only way to do such a thing was….

Whipping the tears from her eyes Lily went into the bathroom but gasped when she spotted James Potter sitting near the toilet with the razor in his hands.

“J-James…. W-wha- what… “ She started breathing deeply, it felt as if the walls were closing in all she wanted was to leave but just as she was about to turn around James spoke.

“ Come in. Shut the door and sit down.” He said, his voice filled with anger as he glared down at the razor.   She did as she was told, in truth she was terrified of the boy at that moment.  “ Why? “ She didn’t answer him instead adverted her eyes to anywhere in the room but everywhere she looked reminded her of the problem at hand. Blood.  “Why the bloody hell would you do such a thing!” He screamed causing her to jump.

“James - “

“Don’t give me an excuse you selfish girl. Do you not think of anyone but yourself? DO YOU!” She jumped once more as he stood up and towered over her. Tears pooled from her eyes and all she wanted to do was leave.


“.. and what do you want from this” Seventh year Slytherin Lucius Malfoy asked as he smirked down at the other two students.  He had been given good enough news to make the Dark lord favor him forever.

“ We want to compensate from this to- I want you to tell the dark lord our names. I want you to tell him that we are willing to be his. “  Said a girl, smiling wickedly that sent a shiver up Lucius’s spine.


“ Ashley Kenney and Peter Pettigrew. “ 

Gryffindor Tower

Walking into the common room Nicole smiled at Frank and Alice who were going up stairs to Franks room without noticing her. Giggling she stopped when she heard the portrait opened behind her, turning around her smile was whipped from her face. Before Sirius could catch up to her she hurried towards the girls staircase but it was too late.

Grabbing her by the wrist Sirius jerked her towards him. Nicole gasped and glared at the boy towering over her.

“Let. Go. Of. ME!” She said but Sirius wouldn’t listen instead he tightened his grip.

“ No, your going to stay here and tell me why!”

“Why? You want to know why everyday I look In the mirror and I see a girl that isn’t good enough. Do you! Fine. “Twisting his wrist, Sirius gasped and let go. She hurried up the stairs causing Sirius to groan but he was surprised when he heard her come down, a shoe box in hand.

“This is why!” She lunged it at him causing several letter to fall out.  Falling to the ground Sirius picked them up, when he looked up Nicole was gone. Groaning he looking down at the letters in the box. They were all written to one person.

“Mathieu Lamoure”

The End

Chapter 8: O'Halloween
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Things had changed a lot within the group of students since the week before. Everyone was trying to avoid one or more people, trying to avoid their secrets that had suddenly been revealed, no one wanted to face the truth. It was the last day of classes for the week and tomorrow would be the Halloween ball for the older students of Hogwarts. Some, like Ashley Kenney, couldn't wait for the ball but other, such as the marauders and the girls , were dreading the night, some of them weren't even sure if they wanted to go.

"How do you let a date down gently - oh wait! It doesn't matter i don't have one" Sirius half yelled as he walked into the Great hall during study period before lunch. He simply couldn't believe it, he was Sirius Black, sex god of Hogwarts, the most charming guy around and yet he didn't have a date.

"Weren't you gloating last week about how many girls had asked you ? " Remus asked taking a seat across from is loud friend. "There was Shelly Connelly , Mariah Thistle,  Erica Yuville and that Spanish girl from Defense. " Lifting his head from his book he smirked at the gray eyed boy.

"If you want to get technical.  I kind of said no to all of them and now they all have dates and i didn't want to go with them anyways ... " Surprised, Remus looked at his friend oddly.

"Are you telling me Sirius Black, the Sirius Black might actually like a girl ?" Sirius rolled his eyes and nodded swiftly.  "Who ? "

" I'm not telling you  - "

"Why not - "

"Shut up" Sirius said bringing their conversation to a close. Sighing Remus returned to his work but his head shot up once more when he heard Sirius call out Nicoles name, who had just walked into the Great hall.

" Uhm.. Hello Sirius, Remus. I was actually looking for Lily - Oh! It seems as if she isn't here. I'm going to go, cya!" before either boy could protest the small brunette ran out of the room.

"What was that all about? " Remus asked his friend who seemed rather annoyed. " You guys didn't - "

"No , Remus, you know i wouldn't..... " He trailed off looking down at the text book he had just taken out of his bag. 

" Whats up? "

" I just got to talk to her about something important... from class. " Remus nodded, allowing his eyes to waver over his friend for a couple of seconds before returning to his book.  The week had been pretty hectic , after the events with Skylar  everything had gotten weird and to add to the awkwardness they had been paired up for an assignment, it was rather hard to do an assignment with a partner who avoided you.  He still couldn't believe that Lily also knew about Skylars addiction and wondered when she was going to confront her friend about it .

"Sirius, i got to go find Lily. " Before a word could be said Remus had packed up and left the Great hall in search of the red headed Head girl.

He came upon the Heads dormitory in no time, last week after telling everyone that he was annoyed at them always coming into the Heads dorm uninvited , James had given everyone of them the password. Remus had become rather worried about his friends lately but with everything that was happening with Emma knowing about his transformation and with Skylars problem he hardly found the time to think of anything else.

" Wattle pod " The statue moved aside and he walked in, knocking on the back of the closed portrait hole to announce his entry.

" What are you doing mate ?" James asked form the couch , not even lifting his head from his Quidditch magazine to look at Remus.

"Sorry, didn't want invade .... "

"oh, please do!" Remus furrowed his brow and hurried up the staircase to Lily's room without a single word to James.  He knock twice before Lily, looking disheveled and simply in her undergarments, opened the door.

"James  leav- " The first thing that caught his eye was how her hair was a mess, knotted and sticking out in every direction as if she has had a rough night, the second thing was that she was only in her undergarments and the third thing was her arms.

"I - I’m sorry" Turning around he quickly went down the hallway, as he was making his way down the staircase into the heads common room he heard Lily calling his name from behind him. After the third time of asking him to stop, Remus obliged and stood awkwardly on a stair.  He couldn't believe that Lily, one of his best friends and one of the smartest people he knew, had starting hurting herself in such a way.  He didn't look up at her as she stopped at the top of the stair case, instead averted his eyes to the common room where James was approaching them.

"Lets go talk in your room Lily " Remus noticed that James hardly spared her a glance either.

Walking into Lily's room he noticed the sight of clothes everywhere, coming out of her wardrobe and dress and her bed was littered with dresses. 

"Trying to find a dress for the ball.. " Lily informed him dreading the conversation they were supposed to be having. She couldn't believe how hard it was to approach Remus and James after they both found out and thanked Merlin that it wasn't any of her best friend, she wouldn't be  able to bear it.

"Remus you can't say anything - "

" Excuse me, Lily you need help! This isn't normal - "

" Shut up Remus, i swear to God if you tell anyone then i wont hesitate to tell the whole school about someone’s furry little problem. " Turning away from the boy she grabbed her robe and pulled it on , suddenly feeling revealed.  She quickly
Cleaned up the clothes around her room , accept for those on her bed , before moving over to the wardrobe  to see if she had any dress that would hide her arms as well as to keep her busy while the boys silently watched her.

" Guess I’m not going to the ball....... " She was cut off by the bell. "Anyone for class ? "

When Nicole  walked into her DADA class it was mostly full, only a couple of extra seats left. Ignoring the Slytherin side she notice that the spots beside Ashley Kenney, Sirius Black and Frank Longbottom were empty, sighing happily she took a seat beside Frank.

"Mind if i sit? "

" Couldn't stop you if i tried " He chuckled and nodded.

"You never know, a pretty little brunette Gryffindor might like to sit with her boyfriend. " He didn't answer but instead resulted in clearing his throat and revising his homework. "Its all right, secrets safe with me. I just don't understand why you need to hide your relationship, she's a great girl.  I'm happy for you Franklin"  Frank sent her a playful glare.

The Professor walked in demanding silence, which was granted quickly after. His gray hair was long and stingy and he had a sparkle of mischief in his eyes as he looked down at his students.

"Seeing as its Halloween i thought it would be appropriate to learn about something... frightening. Can anyone guess what I’m talking about ?" Nicoles hand inched its way in the air. 

"Werewolves? " She didn't notice Lily or Emma’s apologetic glance towards Remus, or the sick look on Remus's face.

"No dear" The older man said, chuckling awkwardly.  "Anyone else.  ?" Lily lifted her hand. " Yes."

"  Bogart’s? “

"Yes , excellent Miss Evens, ten points to Gryffindor. " He smiled down at the class. " Stand up, today we will be working hands on. Fallow me !" The Professors enthusiastic behavior only made his students more anxious. They fallowed him through a portrait of a soldier with a rather exaggerated mustache.  The portrait led them to a large, open room where a trunk sat at one end.

"I know that you had learned about them once before in your third year class but i believe that if you do it hands on you'll understand much more clearly. This will also be in your Newts. Now everyone line up. " The class lined up eagerly to try it out. Nicole new what it was and dreaded her turn, she didn't want anyone to know , so she quietly and sneakily moved to the back of the line. As she did this she kept her eyes to the front, unbeknownst to her about to fall over when she was stopped by two hands on her upper arms. Turing around to say thanks she paled.

“Trying to hide your secret?” She hesitated before going to move around him so she could be at the back of the line but he stopped her and places her in front of him, not letting her escape.  Remus who was behind Sirius sent the two a confused and angry glance, thinking the worst he silently left the class room.

“Let me go Sirius!”

“Why don’t you want to try it out” Glaring at him she started to struggle, finally he let her go but only when people started to notice. Not paying attention to anyone she left the classroom in a hurry, Sirius could only guess where. For an instant a ball of guilt bobbed in his stomach but holding his head high he tried to ignore it.

Nicole ran from the classroom, down the hall her shoes echoed and as she turned the corner she ran head long into someone. Remus angrily got off the ground, noticing it was Nicole he helped her up with a tight grip.  Without a glance at her he turned the corner and began walking towards the stairs she just came from, Nicole was beyond confused, should she go after him or should she be selfish and wallow in her own pity. Sighing she ran after the boy.

“Remus!” She fallowed him all the way out to the grounds where he finally stopped beside the black lake. Breathing heavily she took a seat next to him, she was sweating and felt dizzy but pushed it aside and smiled up at the boy. “ Remember the last time we were out here together?” She said prodding him with her shoulder in a playful man. Angrily and annoyed, Remus scooted over.

“What’s up ?” He huffed In reply. “ Remus stop being a girl and tell me what going on-”

“You are whats going on!” Her eyes widened and she gapped at the boy, her mouth opening and closing she resembled a fish.

“Did Sirius tell you?” She was outraged and before thinking Remus muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “I can’t believe him - he was lying! I was just feeling a little sick last week and he come into the girls washroom - the GIRLS! And stairs yelling about my problems - “

“Wait - what?” Remus asked stopping her. She paled.

“What did he tell you Remus?”

“That you two were together.”

“What the f-” The bell rang and Nicole, shaking with rage left Remus and returned to the castle to kick some Sirius Black arse.

The next night the two groups found themselves surprisingly together, neither of them wanted to give up the Heads dormitory.  So they all learnt how to deal with each other.. Sort of.   Lily was in the washroom while her friends got ready in the common room, she was supposedly getting dressed but all she could do was look down at the beautiful long-sleeved  sparkly green dress.

When the girls had gone out looking for Halloween costumes they all decided they didn’t want to shop at the costume shop but instead for dresses, they all wanted to go as pixies but Lily couldn’t find a long-sleeved dress and told her friends she’d find one before the ball but as it turned out she didn’t, the night before Lily had found the dress with shoes on her bed with a small note. She smiled once more before getting dressed.  Before going downstairs she admired herself in the mirror, the dress she wore was green and filled with sparkly sequences. It was cut in a V neck and had tight long sleeves that had hurt her arms when she put it on, the dress ended near her thighs.

Finally she joined her friends in the common room who had just locked the boys outside.

“Girls need privacy to be beautiful” Nicole said with a giggle as she ignored the boys angry shouts.  Her dress was made of soft materiel, it was strapless and made her ocean blue eyes pop. It had a square neckline and the skirt was ruffled with a gold bow on her hip and golden shoes. Her hair was down in gentle waves with a golden headband, to make her eyes pop out she wore gold eye shadow with thick eyeliner.

 She returned to Skylar, who was sitting in a chair in front of a mirror Emma had conjured, she was impatient but Nicole wouldn’t allow that to bother her as she did the girls hair and makeup.  Skylars  wavy hair was put in a loose pony tale while some of it hung loose. She wore thick black eyeliner with a touch of pink lip stick that matched her pink dress. It was strapless with a black ribbon around the middle tied In a bow, underneath the skirt of the dress was black ruffles that  peeked underneath the pink causing the think pink material to stick outwards.

“Lils, can you help with my makeup? “ Emma asked, Lily smiled.

“Gladly” she told her friend and hurried over to help.  Emma wore a halter top dress with an empire waist, it was dark blue and it ended at her thighs, Lily smiled as she spotted Emma’s bump under the floaty  and silky material.  Her hair was half up and half down with a white and silver diamond clip holding half her hair up while the rest curled around her shoulders.  She wore dark blue makeup as well as mascara.  She painted her fingernails silver, which brought the silver out in her dress and hair clip, while Lily finished off her makeup.  When Lily was done she did her own, she added a light touch of blush as well as eyeliner with some gold sparkly eye shadow.  Grabbing her golden shoes she slipped them on while her friends did last minute touches on themselves.

“Wait!” Emma called as they were about to walk out the door. “We’re pixies!” She half yelled, the girls ‘ohhed’ remembering they forgot their wings. Lily pulled out her wand, for she was the only one who knew the spell, and gave all the girls shiny gold, or in Emma and Skylars cases silver, wings.  As an added affect she gave them all gold and silver sparkles on their chests, around their eyes and on their hands.

Finally, arm in arm the girls left and made their way towards the great hall where they met .. No one.  As they stood their the girls had realized that they didn’t have any dates, the look on their faces was one of complete surprise.  They stood at the bottom of the stairs and they looked at their fellow students, as couple danced, friends laughed, every one was dressed and laughing.

They spotted the marauders. The girls giggled as their eyes fell on the boys who were dressed as  the three musketeers…. Accept they were four. The boys smiled and the girls smiled back but soon their smiles dropped as they looked around them. None of them felt as if they belonged, they all wanted to turn to each other and say they couldn’t stay but seeing the fact in each others eyes they realized that without knowing they had all changed… Together.

The girls turned around, arm in arm they walked back up the stairs and back towards the heads dormitory where Emma  and Nicole took out the left over candy from the party, as well as some other muggle snacks and threw themselves a Halloween party. Without the peers who mocked and criticized them, they were with those they loved. Each other.

They didn’t notice the confused and heartbroken boys they left behind.

It was this night that they finally cleared their heads, for one night they forgot the pain of real life, instead they were in their own world, one where pain and hardship never existed. Lily couldn’t feel the pain shooting up her arms, Emma didn’t once think about turning to alcohol or piles, Nicole didn’t think of what the junk food she ate would be doing to her body and Emma didn’t think about her child’s lycanthrope but instead rubbed her belly affectionately.

The boys were a different case, if possible the weight on their shoulders got heavier. Peter was confused on the choices her had to make but unbeknownst to him they had already gone into action, Remus didn’t no how to feel about Nicole anymore , as well as Skylar but he was overjoyed to be Emma’s babies god father and suddenly wondered if he’d be good enough, Sirius watched Skylar go longingly wondering why he couldn’t just accept that he finally had fallen for a girl and wondered to himself how he was going to deal with Nicole, James was lost, he knew he felt for Lily strongly and wanted to strangle Ashley for ever wanting to hurt her but he also hated Lily for the pain she caused him and then there was Regulus who was in love with Emma and found himself wanting to be there for her but the closer he got to the dark side the more he pushed her away.

They were all teenagers readying themselves for the real world but pain kept getting in the way.

Chapter 9: Sleepover
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It snowed that morning, one of the coldest days of fall  and even though the chill stayed long after the snow left two girls could still be found, knee deep in the black lake, fishing nets in hand.  These two girls were rather exceptional, if any other student had spotted them they would have asked ;

‘Who are those two idiotic girls out in the lake ?’ or ‘what sane person would do such a thing?’

But once they got a good look at these girls and noticed that it was Nicole Lamoure and Skylar Sullivan they would shake their heads and be on their way, not thinking about any longer for it wasn’t odd for these two to be doing such crazy things.  They weren’t alone, they had been joined by the rest of the seventh year Gryffindors. It had been awkward at first, especially with James and Eric glaring at each other every few seconds but it went well.

Peter jumped a foot in the air as the girls screamed, Nicole had just caught a beautiful blue fish. Smiling proudly she put it in the bucket that was already filled with water and fish they had recently caught.

“Can you tell me once more what your doing ?” Frank asked amused.

“We’ve decided to re-decorate the girls dormitory. “ Skylar said smiling at Dorcas, Alice and Emma, a smile which meant ‘we don’t need your permission!’.  The girls and Frank only shook their heads in response.  “ And a fish tank is an absolute awesome way to groove a room.” She finished, wiggling her eye brows.  For the next ten minutes the girls caught four more fish to go with the three other ones as well as the star fish they had already caught, during that time their friends talked and James and Sirius tried to do Skylars brow wiggle but they simply couldn’t master it. 

“Where are you going to put them , you haven’t even got a fish tank.” Lily said. The girl exchanged smiles, it was always good to have the redhead around for she always thought of the things they often forgot.

“Right, thanks for offering to go.” Nicole said, her smile bright.

“Wait! What? I’m not going - “

“Take James with you” Skylar said. Both James and Lily sent her a pleading look but the girls ignored it. “ Right hurry along, we’ll need that tank as quick as possible.” Glaring at her friends Lily fallowed the Head boy while wondering if her friends were only there to make her life miserable. James happened to be thinking the same thing about the girls as he glared at them, it only annoyed him further when they ignored him .

After James and Lily had left, Emma left also saying she had to do some research in the library and Peter offered to help her, saying he had tutor lessons soon anyways.  Before anyone else could leave, the girls enlisted the rest of their roommates as well as Sirius, Remus , Eric and Frank. They smiled proudly, it was the first time that the majority of them had hung out all year. They handed the two buckets of fish to the boys, who tried to look strong as they carried the heavy buckets to the Gryffindor tower, in the mean time the girls raced, the last one would have the duty of feeding the fish and taking care of them until James and Lily got back.  Sadly it was Dorcas who was last, she growled as she went into the washroom, they had decided to put the fish in the bath tub for the mean time, trying to ignore her roommates.

“First things first, we’ve got to decide on the wall color.” Nicole said as she pulled out her wand.

“How about an animal pattern ? “Alice suggested. A second later she was jumped by Skylar who kissed the top of her head while muttering ‘your so brilliant.

Chuckling , Nicole raised her hand and said “ Everyone in favor of pink and black leopard print say ‘Nicole is the best person in the entire world and purple monkeys rock!’.” Everyone stared at her oddly, she smiled. “ Or say aye..” Sighing everyone said aye and she quickly changed the walls.  To go with the walls she changed all their comforters and pillows into animals prints such as zebra and Jaguar. 

They all contributed ideas and worked together, as James and Lily walked in, accompanied by Emma and Peter, they were shocked to see all their friends, close and not so,  working together and getting along. Lily silently wondered if she and James would ever get along, it always seemed to be her hating him or him hating her, there was never any peace.  They congratulated their friends on the terrific work while Dorcas grudgingly  went to work on the fish tank, she was surprised when Eric offered to help but didn’t let his offer go easily.

The room was funky, hip and pretty awesome. Sirius had suggested shaggy carpet, which was multicolored,  their was a juke box in an empty corner which was playing some wizard music. Remus had put up some paper lanterns with some sort of Chinese symbol on them, they gave the room a comfortable and chilled glow.  Their was also some magic butterflies that flew around the ceiling which had been magically turned into the sky by Remus.  On the girls makeup stand was an endless supply of nail polish in which Lily had bought. To finish off the room were paintings that the group of them had made and some cookies and peppermints.

Skylar and Nicole smiled triumphantly, they had managed to put together an awesome room as well as bring their friends together without having a fight break loose, they were extremely proud of themselves.

“ Actually..” Skylar said, breaking the conversation everyone was having. “ there was more then one reason why we had decided to re-decorate, we thought that we could all have a party / sleepover.”

“In which the boys are invited to.” Nicole said in response to Lily’s horrified look, the small brunette smiled up at her friend cheekily.

“Fine.. But no drinking.” She bargained, smiling both Nicole and Skylar nodded and they had all kept their promise to stay sober.  The girls had scooted the boys and Lily out of the dorm, requesting for them to hurry and get change into their pajamas. Once again Lily was slightly nervous about being alone with James, it was odd, for they had lived together for a couple months already but yet she had a hard time being alone with him.

The rest of the girls hurried around the dorm, looking for their cutest PJ’s.  But once again Skylar and Nicole had a surprise up their sleeves, they called the attention of the other three girls and, with large smiles on their faces, pulled a bag from under Dorcas’s bed.  Inside was five pairs of cute and colorful pajamas and in the Head dorms Lily would also find a nice pair of being pajamas with red hearts and vines.

There was all sort of pajamas, night gowns, long sleeves, pants, shorts, tank tops. The girls ended up mixing and matching and in the end looked extra fabulous.

When Lily and James arrived the boys were already there dressed in their out sleep wear, which mostly consisted of flannel pants and muscle shirts or  long sleeves in Remus’s case.

Not to long later the large group had split up into teams and started playing some sleepover party games, it  sounded corny to Emma’s ears but as she paired up with Dorcas, after she had picked the girls name out of  a hate Remus had conjured, inside were the names of six of them written on a piece of parchment, the corniness didn’t bother her much.  Though she had lived with other girl for more then six years she had hardly gotten to know her, they were mere acquaintances and this was an excellent chance to get to know each other.

As she thought this she was super proud of Nicole and Skylar, for they had pulled them all together no matter who was feuding or those who hardly talked. They meant to bring all of them together and she suspected, seeing as it was their last year, that the two girls and possibly others amongst the group would do the same thing before the end of the year.

Nicole and Skylar had chosen six, randomly, to pick out of the hate, the next was Alice. With rosy cheeks she quickly picked out a piece of folded parchment, no one but Nicole noticed the shy glance she cast towards Frank. Her face fell slightly before picking up once more into a large smile.

“Peter!” Her smile was bright but the look in her eye was one of disappointment. Nicole didn’t believe it was because she disliked Peter, in all truth Alice was happy to be with Peter for he was funny and kind, but instead because she didn’t receive her hearts desire to be with Frank.

Lily hesitated as she pulled out a piece of parchment, she also wished for her hearts desire but unlike Alice who had already captured it outside the game, the dorm and the foolishness of that night, Lily hadn’t received what she so long wished.  She looked down at the name for several moments before smiling up at the boy with dark locks and a goofy smile.

“Sirius.” The boy smile, wrapping her arm around her shoulder her walked her over to Dorcas’s bed where they sat, thinking up a name for their group. The girls thought it would be fun if the groups made up their own names and flags, it would be a moment for the team mates to bond.

Nicole looked up with cool eyes at Remus who approached to picked his partner. Looking down at the crumpled paper  he blinked, once or twice. With a small smile he showed her the one he had chosen.

“Nicole” she sighed silently before looked up at James with a smile.  His smiled was large as he picked Skylar, he hugged the small blond and gave her a high five.  Their was no need for Frank to pick his partner for their was only one left, Eric.

Both boys were neutral over their partners, they, like Emma and Dorcas, had never run in the same social circles. Frank hung out with a lot of the Hufflepuff’s and Ravenclaws and even some Slytherins and Eric seemed to remain alone. Nicole and Skylar saw this as a great bonding time for their friends and themselves.  They hoped that in the end, feuds would be solved, friends would be made and maybe even a great memory would create itself from this day.

The groups separated for several minutes as they thought up their names  and made their flags, Lily had taken everyone’s wands away and left then in the drawer of Nicoles bedside table.  They thought it would be more fun to do it the muggle way, with markers and crayons and even sparkles, glue and pictures from magazines.

Finally they were done and they all showed each other their excellent naming abilities and their flags, which showed great artistic talent.   The team names ranged from the Smokin’ Rockets to the Wise Mutant Monkeys.  Finally they started their first game.

“The name of the game” Nicole giggles before continuing. “is Panic word. In the middle there is a pile of cards, each one with a word on it. You’ve got to make you partner guess the work, you can’t do actions or say the word. Team One.” Emma stood up and took a card from the middle of the circle, she smiled and turned to Dorcas.

“In a wedding you have -”

“A bride?” Dorcas guessed cutting her team mate off, Emma shook her head and continued.

“A bridge and …”

“Groom?” Emma smiled and picked up another card, they still had plenty of time.

“ feeding ,  taking care of … umh… bringing up…” Dorcas’s face was one of confusion and it was obvious that Emma was having a hard time trying to figure out how to explain.  Her face cringed as Sirius bellowed -

“TIME UP!” putting the card with the used cards she took a seat and the next team went. It continued like that, some words came out to be rather easy and foolish but others were almost impossible, it was an aggravating game yet still fun and in the end the winning team promised, James and Skylar, decided to buy everyone drinks during the holidays in which they had all made plans to come together for a night. 

They continued playing all sorts of games Not-so-Beauty pageant were everyone did their makeup and dressed up without look in the mirror, the team with the most points would win. In the end Frank and Eric won, closely fallowed by Lily and Sirius and Alice and Peter.  They also played games like Truth or Dare, Piggly Wiggly and Spin the secret, which was a lot like spin the bottle but when you go into the closet you tell the person a secret.  At first the girls were unsure about this game, it could be devastating but also a good bonding technique with every one else. Seeing as they had ran out of fun things to do they decided to play it.

The first person spun the empty bottle of butter beer and the game began. Secrets were told, some embarrassing, some coming from the heart. Sometimes people had to go twice or a third time, in which they had to tell yet another secret.  In the end, everything they told meant something to them and it scared them and made them feel vulnerable to tell someone such things.

“Gryffindors are supposed to be brave yet… I’m afraid of my future, afraid of what I’ll become, of who I’ll be and if I’ll have someone with me. Most of all I‘m afraid I‘ll become like the rest of my family, if ill finally live up to my name…. I don‘t want to be a black. ”

“I’m in love with her but.. Yet…. I don’t want to be with her. I feel like my mind and my heart are going in separate directions, pulling me apart. I want Lily to feel what I feel. “

“I’ve seen death eaters…. And Peter.. I’m afraid that they know and they’ll come after me. I cry at night just thinking of a dark hood man coming through the window. Some time I wonder if I’ll ever have a future. “

“Nicole, I know you know about me and Alice’s relationship which is why I’ve chosen to tell you this secret. I’m going to ask her to marry me during graduation….”

“Skylar, I know about your addiction… I saw you… talking to Remus..”

“I feel as if I don’t belong to the marauders, sometimes I imagine a different life for myself. Where I am the popular one….. Where I’m the one people admire.”

“Sky, my baby is a werewolf…..”

“James, this may not be the best secret and you may scoff but … for the longest time by head has been telling me to hate you and my heart as been pulling for you….. I guess I just let my heart win..”

“I’m in love with Frank but…. My parents don’t like him…. He’s a wizard… a weird boy…  I haven’t told him and I’m afraid to go against their wishes. “

“ I’m in love with Nicole. I’ve been in love with her since third year.. “

“I want to make my mom proud Sirius….. I’d do anything to make her proud..”

“Sometimes at night I cry…. And I wonder how my life, everyone’s lives are going to turn out. I think of my dad and I wish he’d love me like he loved my mom…… I wish he’d stop hurting me..”

“When I was a kid… I burnt down a forest…. My family was in it.. I guess that’s why I like to be alone… I don’t want to hurt anyone.. Dorcas I’m afraid I hurt you, I’ve revealed you to them and I’m not sure if they saw us.”

Nicole spun the bottle , it spun and spun and finally it stopped. Pointing directly at Remus. Nicole sighed, standing up she fallowed the boy into the bathroom where he would then tell her a secret. She didn’t suspect it to be so big.  Remus didn’t take his time… he didn’t dawdle but instead came out with it.

“Nicole.. I’m a werewolf.”


Hello Everybody.

Exams are approaching so it might be an odd occurance if i post another chapter for a couple weeks. I know i haven't added any to any of my stories lately but i'll try to fit some it before a start to study.

Thanks for reading my story and i would greatly appreciat it if you'd review after reading.



Chapter 10: The Monster Within Us All
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It was the third week of November and the Hogwarts grounds were filled with so much snow that only Hagrid could walk through it with ease. The air was icy cold and a frost had begun to cover all the windows in the castle. It was an extremely beautiful, and magical sight. In previous years Nicole had found herself spending the weekend outside in the snow, with her friends. It always sent butterflies up to her heart. But now, as she sat in the courtyard in front of the frozen fountain of merpeople, she couldn't help but feeling cold and alone.


A depression was welcoming itself inside her and she didn't have the strength to stop it, nor did she want to. The last couple of weeks had been a downward spiral. She spoke to no one and they didn't speak with her. She growled with anger and frustration just thinking about it. It was all his fault, she couldn't help herself for feeling extremely angry with him as well as terrified. But they didn't understand, the marauders, Lily, Emma and Skylar all seemed to understand, Nicole had been expecting them to be on her side.


They must not have been such good friends, she couldn't help but think. They should of known why she was acting in such a way. But instead they left her to be on his side, they sat with the marauders in the great hall and during classes. Speaking of the marauders, they ignored her everywhere they went, for the acceptation of when Remus wasn't around, then they result in pranking her to bits.


All the hate inside her, as well as the negative emotion coming towards her didn't make her feel any better. She began missing a meal once and a while, soon she skipped breakfast all together and then lunch, she hardly knew why she kept showing up for supper, she hardly ate more then one portion. Nicole had expected someone to notice, possibly Sirius since he had caught her in action. But no one showed any sign of caring, so one Tuesday night she decided not to show up for their last meal.


She was feeling weaker and weaker as the days went by. Looking in the mirror one night she couldn't help smiling, she would surely fit into the dress her mother picked out for her. Hardly any extra fat hung off her stomach or legs. Her eyes swelled up with tears as she started to dress, a small smile on her fact. Pulling on her sweatshirt, for it seemed to be colder in Gryffindor tower then most nights, she walked out of the wash room receiving odd looks from her dorm mates as the dazed look on her face. Grabbing her book bag from her bed she walked down the spiralling stair case, without a word to the other girls who seemed to be tucking in for the night.


The common room was dead for the acceptation for Frank and Alice in the corner, half covered by shadows. Settling down on the large sofa in front of the fire she decided to work on her potions. They were working on memory potions, during their last period everyone had finished their potion and Slughorn had decided that everyone would have to drink their potion after he removed a memory from them. At the moment she was working on the introduction for her paper which she'd have to finish after drinking the potion. As she began to introduce the workings of the memory and the potion she heard foot steps coming down the stairs.


Turning around she noticed that Frank and Alice had already left. Not sure if she wanted to talk to the person about to enter the common room she turned around and bent down towards the table, her nose almost touching her parchment.


Someone cleared their throat, but she pretended not to notice. They did so again and she chose that very moment to let out a very loud, and obviously fake, sneeze. Whoever was behind her was becoming very annoyed and angry. Hearing their foot steps once more she was glad that they were leaving her , but she was taken by surprise when she was lift onto her feet by a pair of strong hands.


Looking up into the sunny brown eyes of Remus Lupin, she gasped. Taking a quick step back she tripped over her book bag and fell to the ground. Remus looked as if he was going to help her but noticing the fear in her eyes he decided to sit down on the couch. Looking up at him fearfully Nicole noticed his eyes start to water and over flow down his cheeks. He was not blubbering or sobbing but simply looking into the fire as the tears flowed from his eyes.


"I'm-" He cut himself off with a bitter laugh. Unable to talk to the girl that he thought cared for him. " I regret ever telling you. I want to take it all back but i wouldn't. Because now i know the real you, the real monster you are inside." He said, his voice low.


"I am not the monster" Her voice quivered.


"Why? What did I ever do to you but tell you the truth?" He said, still in a low calm voice. Yet, Nicole noticed, his hands had been brought into fists. She noted that he did not look scary and she knew that Remus was not a very frightening person but she also remembered that.... She couldn't keep her mind on that same train of thought but it kept coming back to her and as her mouth opened to answer, she blurted it out.


"Because your just like him."She mutter, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Remus, " she started, she voice shaking with anger. "did you know that if a werewolf has a baby it doesn't mean that their child will have the same fate ? "Confused, Remus shook his head. "Yeah, my dad didn't know either." A look of shock registered on his face.


“ You mean - “


"YOU ARE JUST LIKE HIM!" She shouted " that's what I mean. At first Mathieu Lamoure was the best husband and the best father, but that was until Aurors broke into our home and took him away for being a death eater, a MONSTER!" She left out a loud sob, instinctively Remus moved in to comfort her but she back away."DON'T TOUCH ME!"


" I am not your father, Nicole. I - I thought .... I though you and me - ";


"There is no you and me. Remus I won't say anything about your... But I will not stand by you, not if my life depended on It. " She said angrily. Standing up , she was about to hurry off up the stairs when Remus grabbed her roughly by the arm. Nicole looked up at him frightened. His eyes had gone dark, his face rigid.


"Don't you understand.? " He asked her but she only turned her face from his. His hand tightened around her arm as she started to shout. "Don't you?! IT HURTS - IT HURTS SO MUCH!" He yelled, hitting his chest with his fist, indicating his heart. Letting go of her he dropped to his knees and started to sob. Nicole needed to get away, she felt the pressure all around her. She was dizzy and sweaty. Taking a step towards the staircase she spotted Sirius as well as Emma and Skylar looking down onto the scene with mixed emotions. Could she never be alone.?


She jumped as the storm cloud emitted a loud bang. Suddenly she jumped into motion. Turning around she ran out of the portrait hole, leaving Remus and the rest behind. She was to tired to cry, to tired to run, to tired to breath but finally she reached the entrance hall. Throwing the door open she rushed outside into the storm. Rain beat against her pale, thin face as she fell to the ground, sitting into a freezing mixture of mud and snow. Laying on her back she welcomed in the darkness. The rain and clatter of thunder, miles away.





She awoke with a start, in a confused daze. She was in her potions class room, Professor Slughorn standing over her. He had an odd look on his face, a mixture of worry and amusement. The rest of the class had been split into pairs, and as it turned out, Nicole was alone.


"Miss Lamoure would you like to go to the hospital wing, you are looking a bit peckish." Nicole was about to decline his offer but decided that she could use this period to go sleep in the dormitory, seeing as last night she had woken up frozen and covered with mud. "You might have caught a cold, we are having quite a chilly winter." With a small smile she nodded, quickly packing up her things. She wanted to get out of there as quick as possible. But as she stood up, ready to leave, she tripped over Slughorns large feet and fell to the ground painfully.


“Oh, dear. “ The Professor turned to the closest person. “ Black! Come help Miss Lamoure to the hospital wing, she seems a bit disoriented. “ Nicole stood, looking up at Sirius with eyes filled with hatred.


“Professor , I am fine! I simply tripped - “


“Miss Lamoure, you truly are looking rather ill, I would feel much better if you were escorted.” Regretfully, Nicole allowed Sirius to grabbed her under the arm, and helping her to the door as if she was tripping all over the place. Pushing him off of her she hurried out of the potions class room at a run.


She didn’t want to be stuck with Sirius, who was bound to hex her or leave her for the Slytherins.


“Nicole!” He called after her. She tried her hardest to keep running, but her lack of breath caught the better of her and she stopped, her hands on her knees. “ Fatigue is one of the signs you know. “ Sirius said, walking up to her with ease.


“Signs of what?” She asked, knowing she doesn’t want to hear the answer.


“Of having a eating disorder, depression as well. Are you feeling depressed Nicole ?” He grinned. For some reason, Nicole yearned for the Sirius who was worrying about her instead of the one who is making fun of her.


“ I do not - “


“ Mhmm, sure. “ He stopped in front of her. She stood up to her full length, hatred still burning in the pit of her stomach. “ How you think everyone will react when I tell them? “


“ You wouldn’t, anyways I am not, so it doesn’t matter. “ Sirius grinned. Her anger was boiling over, this boy was quickly annoying her. Balling her fist she swung to hit him, and she was glad to see that she did, very hard. But suddenly a sharp pain went up her arm, and black and white dots started to appear in front of her eyes. The last thing she heard was the bell signalling the end of class and her voice calling for Sirius.