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Inside the Pensieve by Breakaway615

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 2,834

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: General, Angst
Characters: Dumbledore, Lupin, Snape, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew
Pairings: Snape/Lily

First Published: 06/18/2007
Last Chapter: 06/18/2007
Last Updated: 06/18/2007

*image removed by Staff*

We all know about the first memory that Severus Snape put into the pensieve while Harry was learning Occlumency. You know, the one where he was lifted up into the air, and his underwear was displayed. Then Lily Evans came about and told James Potter to stop. But what about the other two memories he put into the pensieve? Why did he not want Harry to see them? Maybe because Snape felt vulnerable. Take a look inside the pensieve, and find out. Awesome banner by Alora at TDA!

Chapter 1: Inside the Pensieve
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Author’s Note: We all know about the first memory that Severus Snape put into the pensieve. You know, the one where he was lifted up into the air, and his underwear was displayed. Then Lily Evans came about and told James Potter to stop. Yeah, we all know that one. However, there were two other memories in that pensieve that we did not get to see. Because Severus Snape put in three memories, did he not? Yes, he did. So, I wrote about the other two memories in this little fanfiction. Warning, it may make you feel bad for Snape. But we would all like to feel bad for him, right? (By the way, very minor one-sided Snape/Lily… very little. And you all know what one-sided means, right? Don’t freak out about it. This is basically meant to make you feel bad for Snape.) Anyways, here you go. Take a look, inside the pensieve.

Disclaimer: If I wrote Harry Potter, would I really be sitting in front of a computer screen writing a fanfiction about Snape? I highly doubt it. Besides, J.K. Rowling is a much better author than I am, so I could never stand a chance. Oh my gosh! That is totally what we need! Yay! Go ideas, rock on! But anyways, we should hold this huge competition, including all of the best authors around the world, and they should be forced to write a book. Then readers will vote on it, and the author could be named the Supreme Author. That would be so much fun. Other than the fact that we are forcing them to write a book, it is awesome, right? J.K. Rowling would win. I would not. Which is why Harry Potter is not mine.

The Second Memory

Severus Snape walked swiftly into the Entrance Hall at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry towards the Slytherin Common Room, his face red with anger and disappointment. Not to mention that all the blood had rushed to his head while he was hanging upside down earlier. That was beside the point. He hated Hogwarts, he hated his home, and he hated James Potter. James Potter was the cause of all of his problems at school. James Potter was the reason that Severus had no friends other than those outside of school. But could he even call those people his friends?

“I hate him so much,” Severus muttered quietly to himself. Not that anyone was around to hear him talk to himself. Everyone was outside right now, where he had been earlier, and when he secretly wanted to be again. But he could not. He would never go outside again. He did not want to as long as James Potter was out there. Severus could hide in the safety of the Slytherin boys’ dormitory. Perhaps someone would even be kind enough to bring him some food. It was high doubtful, though. None of the Slytherins liked him either. No one was very fond of him, at all.

“Hey, Snape, nice underwear!” a Slytherin had taunted him earlier, and the boy laughed like it was the most hilarious thing he had ever heard. Severus had glanced back at the Slytherin—one of the boys a year ahead of him—and rolled his eyes. That was all he could do. He could not say anything back, for he was already at risk of being made fun of again. Besides, Severus would not have been surprised if that kid had been hoisted into the air sometime that year, as well; almost everyone had. It was a very popular thing to do to one another—Severus just more so than other students were. He suspected that the only people who had not been cursed were James Potter and his best friend, Sirius Black. They were the ones doing the hoisting. They would throw curses like nothing, laughing as the people were hung by their ankles in the air. It was just another reason for Severus to hate James.

Severus Snape was a greasy-haired, unpopular fifteen-year-old boy. The only friends he had were those outside of school, such as Lucius Malfoy, who was five years Severus’ elder. That gang of people were all former Slytherins, or still Slytherins in school (but none of them spoke to Severus in school). He could hardly call that lot his friends, though; they were mean and cruel, and made fun of people like muggles, mudbloods, and half-bloods. Severus himself was a half-blood, but he did not know if the gang knew that. They only liked Severus because he fancied the Dark Arts and was skilled at magic. He was only as useful as what he knew. Sure, Severus had shared a few laughs with them, but that did not make them friends. They were more like acquaintances—like a boss and his or her worker, maybe. They were not close.

“Ah, Mr. Snape!” an older gentleman exclaimed, turning around a corner near the staircase, scaring Severus. He jumped in the air, and his eyes grew wide. “I thought that I might find you heading down this way. After all, you just came from outside, did you not? Although, I had thought that a young man, such as yourself, would stay outside this afternoon. Exams are out, and it is such a lovely day. It is very nice outside.” Severus looked at his Headmaster, Professor Albus Dumbledore, as if he were afraid and then looked away from him. He had always thought Professor Dumbledore odd, but almost admired him for his skill and talent. Almost.

“Well, uh, I was outside a couple of minutes ago,” Severus agreed dumbly, as if he were afraid of speaking to Professor Dumbledore and afraid of saying the wrong thing. “But I decided to come inside. It is rather warm outside, and I was thinking of changing into some cooler clothes and then returning outside. So, if you do not mind, I would like to head to my common room and get changed, thank you very much.” Severus looked back at Professor Dumbledore, whose eyes seemed to twinkle at him behind his half-rimmed glasses. He began to walk away, tearing his eyes away and looking at the floor when the Headmaster spoke to him again. He paused, but he did not turn back around to face him.

“Mr. Snape, I saw and heard what happened outside. It seems that you have a little problem with Mr. Potter and his friends. The only one who stood up for you was Miss Evans. Would you like to discuss what happened out there?” Professor Dumbledore asked, folding his hands together, watching Severus carefully. But Severus was frozen to the spot. The Headmaster had seen and heard everything? So, that would mean that he had heard what Severus had said to Lily. He frowned, and blinked slowly. A part of him wished to discuss what had happened, but another part screamed to him, telling him to run away and get out of there. But Severus’ feet stayed frozen to the ground still, and he could not turn around.

“I would rather not, Professor. I regret what had happened, but I would like not to relive what I said and did,” he said quietly to Professor Dumbledore. The last sentence he had said slipped out, and he had not wanted to have said that. But he did, and now he would have to live with telling Professor Dumbledore everything. The Headmaster would not leave Severus alone until he spoke of what happened and discuss it with him, he knew, so he had might as well tell him. “Sir, I really regret what I said and did, but do we really have to discuss this? I would rather not. I would like to be alone right now… to be completely honest. I was not about to go back outside after I changed. I was going to lock myself up in the dormitory for the rest of the year… so please, may I go?”

Severus turned back around to face Professor Dumbledore, who was still watching him carefully. The older man nodded slightly, pausing to say something. “You may go if you wish. I cannot stop you from doing something you wish to do, but it would be my recommendation to come out every once in awhile to get something to eat, yes? Oh, and would you like me to apologize to Miss Evans for you, as well? Or will you like to apologize by yourself?” Severus sighed, knowing that Professor Dumbledore was trying to make him feel guilty. And he was now. He felt like someone was asking him to carry the world on his shoulders, which he was most definitely not strong enough to do. He knew that much.

“I cannot talk to that girl ever again,” Severus said softly, turning back around to face the Headmaster. He frowned, staring down at the floor and playing with his hands. “I just can’t. I said what I said, and I cannot take that back. Not to mention that Lily is not going to allow me to talk to her ever again, anyways. She hates me now, right? So, I can’t just go up to her and apologize. I… I guess I’m scared of what she’d say to me. And Potter will probably be around her somewhere, since he can’t stay a step away for a moment, and he would make fun of me and tell me to go away, and then he’ll curse me and—”

“Mr. Snape, it would not be difficult to apologize to Miss Evans. She is a very lovely person, and she would take to heart everything you say. If Mr. Potter causes you any trouble, I am sure that Miss Evans would be able to handle it. She does seem to have a bit of control over Mr. Potter, doesn’t she? When she gets upset with him, he usually begins to listen, I find,” Professor Dumbledore explained, with a bit of a smile on his face. “You should not be afraid to conquer your fears, for that usually makes them even more terrorizing.” Severus glanced up at him and nodded lightly. “Fear is only a thought… to conquer it is a feat, I believe.”

Severus turned around, looking at the large doors to the outside. He could go now and apologize, but James Potter would probably still be out there. He looked back at Professor Dumbledore and frowned. “I called her a mudblood. She can’t forgive me after that. She was the only one who ever stood up for me, you know. I’m not really sure why she would stand up for me. She’s popular, you know, and she just doesn’t seem like the type of person who would ever stand up for a guy like me. Plus, she’s a Gryffindor, and I’m a Slytherin. It should be expected that she would hate me. Now, of course, she does,” he said sadly. He felt his eyes becoming watery, so he turned away again. He would not be seen crying.

“And you care because you have feelings for her, do you?” Professor Dumbledore assumed, nodding as he took notes in his head. “Mr. Snape, if you really do care for Miss Evans, I would go apologize to her. I cannot tell you what to do, but I can recommend the correct thing. I should expect you to do what you know is right. Good luck.” The Headmaster smiled at Severus, turning and walking away from him. Severus stared as Professor Dumbledore walked up the stairs and disappeared behind a corner, frowning and thinking in his head what he should do. He knew the right thing to do, anyways.

Severus looked at the large doors again, examining them closely as they opened. A few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws walked in, staring at Severus and chuckling to themselves. They brushed past him, a few bumping into him on purpose as they walked towards the Grand Staircase. He continued to stare at the door, wanting to walk out there quickly and apologize to Lily. He walked closer to it, holding out his hand to push it open.

Then he turned around and walked away. “I’m sorry, Lily. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you.” 


The Third Memory
Severus Snape had been saved by James Potter. He was completely embarrassed, but grateful at the same time. Yet he still hated James. Was that possible? His life had been saved by James Potter… yet he still hated him. His heart was pounding out of his chest. That stupid Sirius Black. It was all his fault. How dare he trick him into going below the Whomping Willow to find what was there? How dare he? Sirius Black was a horrible person, yes, but Severus had never guessed the maniac to try to kill him. Even Potter was against killing him. Or he was enough to save him.

Severus sat alone at the Slytherin table, nibbling on a piece of toast. The rest of the Slytherins were chatting away with their buddies, making fun of people and laughing at other people’s expense. Severus was silent, and twitched at the mention of the Head Boy and Head Girl. The thought of James made him unhappy. He did not like, already, being in James’ debt. He owed James Potter big time, and he couldn’t bare to think about saving his life later. He wouldn’t. Sure, James hated Severus, and he saved him. But Severus really hated James. There was a difference. He really hated him.

“Did you know that Potter—” a Slytherin started to say, when Severus stood up suddenly, slamming his hands on the table. The whole group of Slytherins looked at him, staring in disgust. Even Regulus Black, who was probably the closest to liking him (although because he was Sirius’ younger brother, Severus did not like him) looked at him as if he were insane. “Snape, what is wrong with you?” the Slytherin who was talking before asked. Severus said nothing. He threw his legs to the other side of the bench and walked away, throwing down his piece of toast, annoyed.

He closed his eyes, pausing, and opened to them to look around at the Great Hall. He glanced at the tables, seeing Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, Slytherins and Gryffindors staring at him. He found what he was looking for, and sighed, walking over to the Gryffindor table. People were still watching him, whispering insults and questions to each other, wondering what he was doing. They weren’t the only ones. Severus himself was not sure what he was doing, nor did he know if he should pull through with it. He stopped when he got near enough to his target, and cleared his throat.

Sirius Black, James Potter, and Lily Evans turned around to face him, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew already facing towards him. They looked at him, eyebrows raised and with smirks on their faces. Sirius smiled, flashing his white teeth at him. “Hello, Snivellus, to what do we owe the pleasure of having you talk to us?” he asked, and Severus glared at him. He looked over at Lily, who looked angry and annoyed. She still hated him… He looked away and stared at James, frowning and playing with his hands. James did not say anything, but he looked confused, however much he tried to cover it with a smirk.

“I, um… thank you, by the way. I guess I never said that. So, thanks,” Severus said quickly, not really sure how to say it or what to say. James looked taken aback, and Sirius’ jaw dropped. Remus and Peter smiled at each other, whispering quietly to each other. Lily looked shocked, and almost happy that Severus had said thank you for something, whatever it was. She smiled at him quickly, and returned to eating. “I appreciate what you did…”

Before James or Sirius could reply, Severus quickly walked away, eyes still following him, and voices still talking. For once, though, he felt good about what he did. He would never say it again, nor would he ever talk to him again, but he meant it. Because of James Potter, Severus was alive. But that still didn’t stop him from hating himself as much as he hated James.


Author’s Note (Again): So, that was it. The third memory was kind of short, but I just wanted you all to know that Snape does have a heart underneath all that greasy hair. Sure, it’s not that big, but he does have one. So, um, here you go. I would really appreciate some constructive criticism and stuff. How about reviews in general. I like to see everyone’s feedback. It makes me happy! Yay! So, please, I would really appreciate some reviews! Thanks!

Happy reading,