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Cara Sterling's Guide to 1976. by brighteyesx3

Format: Novella
Chapters: 18
Word Count: 38,181

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Fluff, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Regulus, Pettigrew, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: Sirius/OC, OC/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 06/17/2007
Last Chapter: 07/10/2007
Last Updated: 07/10/2007

Thank you a ton for the bannerrrr sammy lupin !!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Second in the 'Cara Sterling' trilogy. Hi. Me again, Cara Sterling, STILL dealing with these Marauders, only this time, I think I have picked one to stay with. Well, follow me through the new year of 1976, because I have a feeling things are going to get pretty crazy.

Chapter 1: Your Guardian Angel;
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Now, enjoy=]

Chapter 1: Your Guardian Angel;


My lips collided with my boyfriend’s to welcome the New Year, 1976.

Our kiss was intense, sweetly tasting of champagne. We were sixteen and so in love, so addicted to one another. Everyone was there, everyone; my family had opted for a house party this new year, but it was all so entirely perfect.

We had been through a lot, but ultimately, my choice was the right one. I had my first love in my arms, and no one could tell me anything. He was right. We were right. This was right. Ever since he had shown up at my window over the summer we had been back together and very much adorable.

I broke the kiss first and looked into his eyes, breathless.

I bit my lip, still haven’t broken the habit. He grinned.

We went in for more champagne-flavored intense snogging in front of my parents; ignoring adults we knew (including McGonagall) and we were completely aware of them staring at us.

We listened to the cheesy music play and enjoyed the first three minutes of the year. The room seemed to spin, the sounds blending as I slipped into my own little world where only Sirius and I existed.

The kiss ended when people started bringing out more dessert. Because, us being who we are, we needed some more whipped cream and chocolate strawberries badly. I dropped a plain strawberry in my champagne glass and watched it fizz.

My heels were too high, my makeup was too overdone and my earrings were too sparkly for my outfit, but I was having the best time I could’ve asked for. For the first time in my life my life revolved around being in love, and having an amazing time, and not caring about people who were just jealous anyway. I was happy. And that alone was special.

Well, as you may have, hopefully, and probably guessed, my boyfriend is Sirius Black.

Yes, and like so long ago we were happy and healthy and getting along harmoniously. Well. Maybe not that last part, but even though we argue like Salazar and Godric we will always come back to each other.

“Come on you lovebirds! We’re taking a picture!” James said loudly as he motioned us over and we squeezed into the picture, making really weird faces right before the flash … flashed.

Cody and his new girlfriend Suzanne were living with each other, even though they were only eighteen and twenty. Hestia and Chris were still together. Connor and Klaudia were long over, and Emmeline and Fabian? Well those two disappeared about an hour ago but they are still very much in love with each other.

I glanced out of the window as we all ate our desserts happily. A thick layer of snow covered the ground and everything in sight. Everyone was hoping the train back would be delayed an extra day because of the huge amount of snow we had accumulated.

“Let’s dance,” Lily said, pulling me to my feet, Sirius following and James trailing along eagerly after Lily.

Lately, James has been even more infatuated with Lily’s every move and she has been downplaying it and she just ignores him. We are all such close friends it’s easy for her to play his lines and date offers off as a joke. I thank her for not making a big scene anymore; it would make going anywhere impossible.

We danced for a while, and when the clock struck two in the morning guests started to leave, and we had to stop dancing to say goodbye to all of the frighteningly odd relatives and assorted adults we knew. If the Hogwarts Express wasn’t delayed it would leave for school tomorrow morning, but we all doubted it.

“Bye Aunt Mildred,” James said sweetly as his old aunt with layers of magenta lipstick kissed his cheek, leaving a huge lip imprint in the lipstick.

“Every year her mole is in a different place,” Sirius commented.

“I know right! She repositions it! Even just at Christmas, it was on her left cheek…now...her right! The magically moving mole of Aunt Mildred!” James exclaimed as we all laughed harder.

I looked through the crowd and saw Fabian and Emmeline spraying each other with whipped cream and flinging ice cream chunks at each other. Her dress was silver and when she moved it flowed out glamorously, and as she was slathered in desserts she still looked really pretty. I hate her, she’s too pretty! I hate really pretty people.

Dorcas and Peter began snogging and we all left for the dance floor once again. A slow song struck up and I snatched Sirius into my arms before any of the drunken cousins could get their hands on him.

He grinned as I placed my arms around his neck and we began to sway. I love how he dances, he is so smooth and fluid in his movements, and he has taught me how to dance properly.

He took one hand in his and placed the other around my waist and he began to glide around the dance floor classically. He twirled me and my dress fanned out like most do. My mom grinned at me as we passed her and the twins, my grandma winked as Sirius dipped me and I caught her eye upside down.

If anything could be more perfect, I would throw up.

The soothing melody of the song ended and more music played, but I was so tired. The guests were thinning out, many people had left, and only a couple scattered clusters of people were left partaking in that last minute chat you struck up as you were saying goodbye.

Cody left with his girlfriend, Fabian’s family left but he was staying longer. Emmeline was nestled in his arms, her huge blue eyes sparkling with tears Fabian was unaware of. She was absolutely torn, he was leaving again and she was holding on tighter.

But even though he was leaving, it was really hitting me that this was my life. We were growing up, getting old, moving out and moving on and it was all a huge blur. In one year we would all be adults, one more year after this of school and that’s it, one last hurrah before adulthood, and we all wanted to hang on to it tightly.

1976. Already. It seems like 1972 was yesterday, and 1968 right before that. When did I get so old?

Amidst my thoughts swirled the effects of all of my glasses of champagne and I fell asleep on Sirius’ shoulder as we sat tangled up in each other on one armchair, his arms tightly and protectively around me.

The best way to fall asleep.

* * *

“Cara move faster,” James urged as I took my time getting off of the train. Yeah, we had in fact gone to school the next day, very tired and hung-over, but as a treat there would be no classes the next day.

The wind was bitterly cold as I wrapped my jacket closer and hopped down onto the cobblestone sidewalk of Hogsmeade, and went straight into a warm horseless carriage.

My head was throbbing, I was too tired and I had a tad too much champagne for my body’s liking. The cold was going straight through me and I was shaking. I snuggled up in the corner of the carriage, with my feet up underneath me.

“Move over a bit love,” Sirius said, pushing my feet over a little.

“Ouch,” I said, “Sirius I can’t go anywhere!” I exclaimed moodily, rearranging my legs huffily.

“Sorry,” he said sarcastically.

“Excuse you,” I said icily as I folded my arms over my chest.

He made a face at me.

“You wow me with your maturity.”

“You wow me with your attitude,” he bit back.

“God you two never let anything go!” Remus exclaimed.

“Sorry darling,” Sirius mumbled.
“That’s a good boy,” I said, still looking out the window as the castle drew closer and closer.

We all climbed out of the carriage and into the castle.

The warmth and scent of dinner overcame me as I stepped in, and I immediately grinned. People were bustling around me, candles illuminated the hallways and a suit of armor glimmered in the corner.

I was back at home.

I will never let you fall
I’ll stand up with you forever
I’ll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay
Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Your Guardian Angel; The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

A/N- Me again! So oh. my. God. I got this finished quickly, and I am so happy with the way the story is progressing, I am writing chapter two and I like this so much more already. Red Jump has credit for this song excerpt, and I am going to keep doing this just because its tradition and I have been dying to use this song.

Have a race to see who can be the first review of the whole story.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 2: Best Mistake;
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Chapter 2: Best Mistake;

“Since when do you like Muggle Studies so much?” James asked.

“I don’t know, but I really find muggles interesting. All of their history, all of their wars and their technology and how they are destroying everything around them yet they are still progressing, just like us. And how the magic to muggle thing got started and why we have to keep our whole world secret and how muggles in America used to actually burn girls suspected of witchery.

‘I mean we are studying European Muggles in this century currently, and we are learning about the Second Great War. And I mean really – muggles developed a weapon so powerful and it did so much damage that the entire Japanese Ministry had to call in all of these back-up International Wizards to keep the whole bloody island from sinking,” I explained enthusiastically.

“Cara, you lost me when they started sautéing of women.”

“Thanks James,” I said sarcastically, “I’m glad you take such an interest in what I have to say.”

“Anytime,” he said cheekily as we arrived in Transfiguration.

“Welcome darling,” Sirius said, kissing me quickly as we sat down next to each other.

Professor McGonagall began to explain today’s lesson and lecture as Sirius began to tickle my leg and entwine our feet in a game of footsie. I kept a perfectly straight, studious expression and my eyes on McGonagall the whole time, which he found especially hilarious.

“Mr. Black is something funny?” she said, everyone turning to look at him. I looked over at him, expectantly, as if I had no idea what was going on, and I kicked him lightly one more time.

He laughed harder. He had the giggles today, I guess.

“Mr. Black, would you like to go to Madame Pomfrey? I don’t want you to soil your pants in my classroom.”

I snorted with laughter.

“I’m fine Professor,” he choked.

The bell rang soon afterwards and we all hurried out into the hallway, ready to enjoy our free period and then dinner.

I was in the hallway, all by me onesy, not bothering a soul and being rather respectful. Absolutely abnormal behavior for me, actually.

And out of nowhere comes; well guess who?

Narcissa Black and her little troupe of girls, if you can call them that. They are by no means ladies. There were about five overly hair sprayed, overly made up, overly whorish girls coming towards me, Narcissa one of them. I walked past, not making eye contact or anything, I swear I did nothing wrong. Do I sound guilty?

“Look who it is girls,” Narcissa said icily. I sneered at her.

“Hey Narcissa I have an equation for you. A blood traitor plus a blood traitor equals…?” said the girl closest to her, she had thick brown hair and she was short. Her name is Alecto Carrow; her family is one of those mad pureblood ones. She has a really ugly brother.

“Another filthy muggle lover running around?”

“Exactly,” Alecto said, inspecting her perfectly manicured nails.

“Are you two done now?” I said haughtily, rolling my eyes.

“Nope,” Narcissa’s-unkown–little-follower-number-one said, as she drew her wand.

“Please, like you people could do anything substantial to me. Wait. Substantial, was that too big of a word?” I mocked them, and they didn’t like it. I thrived off of their annoyance. It gave me the courage to draw my own wand.

“Go on,” I said daringly, “hex me.”

And hex she did. I ducked behind the shield on the nearest suit of armor, and the hex bounced off, hitting follower number one instead of me. Her feet started to grow abnormally long and furry.

I grinned and continued blocking and ducking away from their spells and curses, every one of them bouncing back towards them. I had two of them jinxed, one hexed and the others afraid without ever even using my wand. That takes skill, if I may say so myself.

“What’s all this?” Regulus asked, coming out of a classroom to see the spectacle.

“I am having a slight altercation with some very rude individuals, oh kind sir will you please save me?” I said dramatically.

“I think they need the saving,” he said, helping follower number two up off the ground, she had flippers.

“They won’t tell Dumbledore if you won’t,” he said as I nodded and waved as they walked away.

I grinned, satisfied with my accomplishments. Five Slytherins, one Cara, ten minutes. Easy.

I walked down to dinner with a spring in my step.

“Why do you look so exhilarated?” Sirius asked as I sat down next to him.

“Just saving the world,” I said, smiling as I kissed his cheek.

“Aw, without me?” he said.

“Sorry love.”

“I think I’ll forgive you this time,” he said.

I looped my foot around his ankle under the table and smiled as I started to help myself.

I love my life.

* * *

He pressed his lips to mine suddenly and I tripped backwards, falling roughly on to the couch over the arm of it, rather ungracefully.

“What was that for?” I asked in between kisses.

“God you are just stunning,” he said as I smiled.

My body was twisted, half over the arm of the couch, feet still on the ground, Sirius pressed on top of me. It was only seven, the Common Room was filled, and two first years were awkwardly sitting on the other half of the couch.

He continued to kiss me, and I wondered if my lips would actually bleed.

“Let’s go ice skating,” he said suddenly, pulling me to my feet in one swift motion, arms still around my waist.

“Let’s go,” I said, shrugging as he accio-ed our skates and grabbed them with one hand smoothly, not even looking. I felt the eyes of every girl in the common room jealously on us. Or, me.

He handed me his sweatshirt as he knelt down to tie my skates. He pulled the laces tight, tighter then I could ever get them, and then tied them gently. Then he helped me up and on to the ice.

The lake looked so eerie frozen, the whole scene did. I wondered what the merpeople below us were thinking. The trees around us were coated thickly with ice and snow, and the castle looked warm, inviting and it glowed in the moonlight.

“Sirius, I can’t actually skate,” I said anxiously.

“But you are rather good at hanging on to me and balancing in awkward positions,” he said.


He held my hands firmly and slowly began to skate. I wobbled the second he loosened his grip a little.

Inexperienced as I was, I tried to push my skates faster, and ended up leaning back too far.

I lost my balance and slipped, and pulled him down with me, causing up to do an amazing spin-flip before landing, hard, on the ice.

I began to laugh hysterically, the ice soaking my jeans. He helped me to my feet and kissed me quickly as he tried to help me skate again.

Our romantic little starlit escapade was interrupted by our friends loudly crunching down towards the lake and joining us.

We got a rhythm going, we skated clockwise in a circle, talking and laughing and calling to each other.

Everyone who couldn’t skate was clinging to someone who could, and James just happened to be the worst skater in the world.

Conveniently, Lily was a fabulous skater.

She dutifully held his hand as they skated, but when we got close enough we overheard their conversation.

“…you’re going to fast!”

“My God you are a prat sometimes!”

“Wait, so they're real?”

“They have machines to wash their dishes? Who knew?”

Sirius and I exchanged glances, stifling laughter. James was actually holding a conversation with Lily, even if it was about common muggle appliances.

Once we were done ice skating, I found myself making a snow angel while Sirius lay on top of me. The snow was freezing, the air was bitter cold and the wind whipped our faces raw.

But with his body so close to mine, it felt like summer.

I chronicled the days you made me want to live
Memorized the way it felt
And then I turned it into this kiss
Tonight I’m wearing my best smile
And hope to make me worth your while
I’ll be the mistake you’ll ever make
Best Mistake; JamisonParker

A/N- So you know how in 'Roseanne,' the show on Nick at Night, or Nite, however they spell it, the show is really really funny and good in the beginning and towards the last couple seasons it sort of isn't as good? Does anyone feel that way? Well, if you do, that is exactly what I am hoping does NOT happen to this story.

Which I really hope it doesn't, but it could just because sequels are never better then original ones and the third part is usually really bad, but I actually planned on hugely long story but decided to break it up, so its not like my plot twists are desperate ones to gain interest.

And, sadly, this one is going to be a little darker, I think there may be maybe four chapers out of twenty that are darker then the others but not as dark as my other, earlier stories are.

So, good song, shortish chapter. Sorry=]

Oh, and I screwed up my ankle again. Typical me, three days before summer I am sitting in the ER getting x-rays taken. *sigh* At least this gives me more time to just sit and elevate my ankle and write. Like today I wrote all the way up to 40% of chapter four, so yeah. And this A/N is incredibly long. Sorry bout that.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 3: Modern Swinger;
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Chapter 3: Modern Swinger;

“Why is that huge owl at our window?” Hestia asked.

“Why are you so ugly? AHH funny joke!” Alice said loudly.

“You guys are freaks,” Emmeline murmured.

“AM NOT!” they said in unison.

“We’re going downstairs, Cara,” Lily said, “coming?”

“No, no, I’ll be down in a bit,” I said, my excitement growing. A letter from him.

I hurried over to the window and un-scrolled the letter from the owls leg gently. I absent-mindedly stroked the bird while I looked over the letter for an address.

Cara Sterling read the front of the letter in unmistakable thin writing.

A letter from Ryan Alexander Bell.

We have been exchanging letters, updates on our lives and everything since he left. He is now currently training for quidditch stardom, next year he is taking his place as a Keeper on the Wimbourne Wasps, playing with superstar Ludo Bagman.

Oh yeah. And Sirius doesn’t know.

Neither do my friends, really. They think it’s my mum or Marlene or something. But no; it’s my ex-boyfriend that caused all of this drama last year.

I mean, seriously, what would my boyfriend do if he knew I was pouring my heart out to Ryan once a week?

I don’t think he’d be thrilled.

I smiled as I read the letter.

I know I told you I had a date Friday. It was a disaster. She was an airhead and I think she went out with one of my cousins at one point before me. I mean really; she thought the Wimbourne Wasps were an American team. No. I need a girl who likes Quidditch. No, I need a girl who knows where Wimbourne is.

Speaking of my incredibly annoying family, guess what?

… Guess…

……keep guessing…!

Okay. I’ll tell you.

My brother’s wife is pregnant and it’s a boy which means a baptism. Which leads to a few things: an unbearably long church service in a suit and spending a day with my relatives.

I’d rather plant daisies, and I hate planting things!

I laughed out loud. I knew he didn’t like planting things. We both hated the smell of dirt and daisies. That was just a weird quirk we shared, that and our need to have socks on while we sleep.

“Hey you,” Emmeline said as she walked back into the room.

I was still smiling, reading the letter hypnotically.

“That is entirely too much happy to be reading a letter from your mum,” she said, scooting into the space next to me. I looked down guiltily.

“It isn’t from your mum! I knew it! Who is he?” she exclaimed excitedly.

“Ryan,” I mumbled.

“You are the biggest idiot I have ever come into contact with,” she said flatly.

“No, no, it’s not like that, we just keep in touch. We talk about our lives and stuff, nothing romantic. I promise,” I said earnestly.

“Are you sure?”

“Trust me,” I said reassuringly.

“If you say so,” she said, flipping over.

“I do say so,” I said.

“Oh you do?”

“I do!”

“I do too!”

“Wait, Cara, I think we’re married now,” Emmeline joked, making me laugh.

“I think we are too,” I said. She got up.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she said as she grabbed a towel and walking into the bathroom.

And, to tell the truth, the second she left to go to shower I began to write a reply to Ryan.

I am addicted to these letters.

Is that bad?

* * *

I looked out of the frosty window. The snow fell faster and faster in swirly patterns. There was fresh snow on top of old accumulation. I sighed and walked back over to the counter of the store. The store smelled of polish and dust, and the place was made entirely of cute, shiny wood.

I was in Hogsmeade. Yeah, Sirius and I are allowed to come back here as long as we promise to stay clothed. So, we were in a dusty little vintage jewelry shop in the far outskirts of Hogsmeade.

I placed the necklace on the counter and the little old witch behind the counter checked it out for me. She put it in the cute little pinstriped bags they have and I handed her the galleons.

The girls were still looking at funky earrings from circa 1920. My mum had always told me that if the jewelry looked older then me, there is a better chance it’s cursed. My mum is paranoid about me shopping in little dodgy shops like this, just because so many old things have been exposed to so many different dangerous potions and whatnot that they are dangerous to wear.

Funny, I know.

After they bought what they wanted and we were ready to leave, we stepped out into the winter wonderland that was Hogsmeade. About four more inches of snow had fallen since we had been in the store, and my cute shoes were soaked through before we got to the Three Broomsticks to meet the boys.

A collective sigh of contentment echoed through our group of girls when we walked in. The warmth was amazing; it felt velvety against our cold skin. We stomped off the snow when we walked into the pub and filled all of the empty seats at the rickety wooden table the boys were sitting at.

“Get anything good?” Sirius asked, poking his head in the shopping bags.

“A necklace, a pair of shoes and the biggest box of sugar quills Honeydukes offered,” I said, poking through the bags just to make sure I didn’t forget anything.

“No sexy lace underwear?” he said, looking through the nearest bag hopefully.

“Only for Peter to see,” I joked, winking at him across the table.

Our drinks came, and for a little while it was silent.

“Hey, do you think we could get snowed in?” James asked.

“If we were muggles, yeah,” Lily said, “but you can melt the snow with a charm and clear paths.”

“That’s disappointing,” James said, “almost as bad as how you won’t go out with me.”

Lily rolled her eyes and Hestia changed the subject.

“I promised to meet Chris at Zonko’s around four,” she commented, “its quarter too, if I am going to wade through the snow I should start now. Thanks for the drinks guys.” She finished her last sip and put a couple coins on the table before saying goodbye and leaving.

A man in a sweeping black cloak came into the pub, hood up and so big you couldn’t see his face.

“Well he looks a little dodgy,” James commented.

“Sad part is, he’s probably my distant relative,” Sirius said as he sighed.

“Don’t feel bad, if it isn’t your family its mine,” I said. The fact that I am related to the Malfoys still makes me want to vomit.

He smiled at me and I ordered another drink. We held hands under the table. God we are just so cute together.

The pub got a little louder as the sounds of an argument could be heard.

We continued talking like nothing happened.


A glass shattered.

Someone screamed.

Oh my God.

Yeah my baby’s pretty as a car crash
Sexy as a stinger of a hornet in your arm
Just another modern swinger
Screaming “catch me if you can”
With a cigarette in hand it’s love
It’s heavy and it hurts and its love
Modern Swinger; the Pink Spiders

A/N- Dun dun dunnnnn!! Mwahaha=]] You know, I enjoy writing this story tremendously, and summer gets me in this mood to write constantly, I have two new story ideas for once im done with Cara, and I am raring to go writing wise. Schools out friday, and with the will bring more and more ramblings from ME!!

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 4: Demolition Lovers;
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Chapter 4: Demolition Lovers;

The pub got a little louder as the sounds of an argument could be heard.

We continued talking like nothing happened.


A glass shattered.

Someone screamed.

Oh my God.

A table was turned over, everyone was scared. The man in the hood had shaken it off his head. All eyes were watching what was going on, paralyzed in fear. I didn’t even fully understand what was going on.

Sirius pulled me behind him quickly and we all hurried towards the door and out of the way as the black cloaked man sent a green jet of light at the other man he was with.

With a crack, the hooded man had disappeared.

I gasped.

The whole group in the pub knew who it was before anyone said a word.

We had just been in the same room as Voldemort.

And survived an attack.

I never want to see that man again in my life.

Sirius put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me close to him. I shivered. I dug my head into his shoulder. That man had just died. And everyone in the whole damn pub was too afraid to do anything to help him.

All I had seen was pale hands and a full head of dark hair. Was that Voldemort? Is that how he looks? Maybe it was just a Death Eater. I refused to process what had just happened. I looked over at Emmeline; her eyes were wide as saucers. Lily was crying. Dorcas and Alice were pale as ghosts. And Remus, James, and Peter were shocked, talking in hushed tones with Sirius.

Dumbledore came storming in, with McGonagall and the Minister of Magic and another man following closely. The body was still laying there. He was identified as Dominic Rosier, father of Evan.
Figures. Yep. A distant relative.

Evan, husband of Io, who is sister to my mother.

My God. Never a dull moment.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to cry. My great uncle; is that what our relation makes him? God. Voldemort screws everything up.

Sirius kissed my forehead.

“You,” Dumbledore said, pointing to all of us, “you are coming to my office. You had the closest table to them.”

I had never seen Dumbledore look so grim and hell-bent on something. His eyes crackled with electricity.

We sat down in his office eventually, exchanging sad glances with each other.

“Now, could you all, one at a time, tell me exactly what you heard and saw. Miss Evans, you were the very closest, you may start,” Dumbledore said.

“Well Professor, I saw the man come in, we all did, in the beginning. He met uh, Rosier, yeah he was already sitting. We were having our own conversation, but I remember hearing the man that I guess was V-V-V-,”

“Voldemort,” Dumbledore interjected.

“Yeah him, his voice was really creepy, it gave me chills. Bad ones. Like out of a horror movie. And him and Rosier were talking about a meeting, or something, like an upcoming event that was important…something about the Underground. Yeah, because I remember thinking it was really weird for a wizard who looked so pureblood-like to be talking about the Underground.”

“And then?” Dumbledore said gently. Lily was getting a little upset.

“They started arguing…Rosier thought something should be done differently I think, and then it just escalated. Then V-V-V, yeah him, he flipped the table. And Rosier sent a curse at him and missed, and exploded the bottle of mead behind him. Then He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named fired the Killing Curse and hit Rosier’s head.”

“Did anyone see anything differently?” Dumbledore asked.

We shook our heads somberly.

“Miss Evans, your statements will be kept in the utmost confidentiality. You are dismissed. The Heads of Houses are addressing the Houses separately, so you should go before you miss anything.”

“Thank you,” I mumbled as we all left.

“Did that really just happen?” Dorcas whispered.

Tears formed in my eyes again. This is what Frank and Fabian and Gideon and Marlene and all of them are up against? All of the Aurors? Him? He killed a man he had been speaking to as a friend without thinking, he just acted. And then left. Before anyone could do anything.

The boys are too young for that.

We are all too young for that.

We walked into the common room and two seconds later so did McGonagall, and she addressed us about the attack. She instructed us that Hogsmeade would still be available for us, but only if they are over fifth year. The administration feels that fifth years can better defend themselves and third – fourth years can. But if something like this happens again no one will be permitted to go.

The pub had been full of students. A couple tables held adults, mostly the bar, but everyone besides about ten people were kids, and that pub was filled. Scary thought, had his curse been an inch in any direction someone would have died.

Actually, if we hadn’t moved it would’ve been one of us.

More chills spiraled down my spine.

Well, I am glad I didn’t post my letter to Ryan; I have more to tell now.

No one felt like eating that night, I know I didn’t. I tried to go to sleep.

Eventually my eyes closed, and I was lulled into sleep.

* * *

The scent of blood was so strong it stung my eyes, I felt vomit rise in my throat. I felt determined; I was here for a reason.

“We’ve got her, we have your little girl and you need to tell us where the Potters are to get her back.”

Frantically I fought against them, trying to get whoever the little girl was back.

“I would never tell you!” I screamed as a man kicked my back, two others holding my shoulders.

“Then your little girl will meet the same fate your little friends did.”

I screamed. I saw green. Then black.

I sat straight up in bed, body drenched in sweat, throat raw as if I had really just screamed. I was fighting to breathe; I was so out of breath. It had felt so real.

“CARA!” Emmeline said loudly, holding my shoulders tightly, “Cara what’s wrong?”

Lily, Dorcas, Alice, Hestia, and Emmeline were all looking at me, frightened.

I ran into the bathroom and threw up, still shaking.

“Cara do you need to go to Madame Pomfrey?” Emmeline asked, sitting down next to me.

I shook my head, causing the room to spin.

“Maybe you should shower, get all of the sweat off of you, and then you could talk about it if you wanted,” Emmeline said, helping me up as I nodded slowly.

I got in the shower and noticed one thing.

I had a huge bruise on my back in the shape of a shoe.

I sincerely think I just either saw into the future or something going on currently.

Or I am just purely bonkers.

But…who was ‘my’ little girl? My daughter? What had happened to my friends? Death? Who? Where had I been? And who had those men been? Death Eaters? And what did he mean by 'the Potters'?

Will this really happen to me?

I hope not.

I was so confused.

I was having a rough day, to say the least.

I came out of the bathroom still dizzy, everyone now wide awake and waiting for me to return.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lily asked gently.

“Not really,” I said, my whole body seizing up with fear just remembering the man’s voice.

“I had a nightmare too,” Dorcas said, her face darkening.

“I think we all did,” Hestia said.

“Trust me, I doubt yours was anything like mine,” I said, wrapping my comforter around me.

“I think things with V-V-Voldemort have to get worse before they get better,” Lily said, looking up at all of us.

“Yeah,” I agreed, “but do you remember learning about past Wizarding Wars?”

Everyone was quiet as they thought about it. The wars we had studied were brutal, excruciatingly long and horrific. No one wanted anything like that.

There had been many wars over purification. Wanting to kill the muggles, wanting to kill the muggleborns, wanting to kill the blood-traitors. Wars that pitted Magical Animal against Magical Man.

“I am so scared,” I said, shaking my head.

“Cara, we all are,” Hestia said.

Then, a small sob turned our attention to Emmeline.

“This is what Fabian is up against; this is what he’ll be fighting. Him and all of hid followers against Aurors and…who else? Will they round up troops? Secret alliances of people who will fight? How we will keep this a secret? Will we?”

She was right. No one knew what the future held concerning the War, if there was to be one.

Our teenage years are marred with a rising storm, a war on the horizon.

I think this happened for a reason.

Voldemort couldn’t have picked a more determined generation to fight against him, and I think he would realize it when it was too late.

Which was good enough for us.

“For now, let’s concentrate on surviving being teenagers,” I said, looking at them.

“Yeah, let’s enjoy it while we have it,” Alice sad, wiping her eyes.

“Because I have a feeling we are going to miss it,” Dorcas said.

And with that, we all eventually fell asleep.

I can’t believe these girls were my enemies at one point. I love them too much now to live without them.

And that’s okay.

I'm trying, I'm trying
To let you know just how much you mean to me
And after all the things we put each other through and
I would drive on to the end with you
A liquor store or two keeps the gas tank full
And I feel like there's nothing left to do
But prove myself to you and we'll keep it running
But this time, I mean it
I'll let you know just how much you mean to me
As snow falls on desert sky
Until the end of everything
Demolition Lovers; My Chemical Romance

A/N- I will always be a MCR fan, no matter how many people say they hate them. I think Gerard Way is unique and something about him is a weird kind of dead sexy as well. Anyway!

This one was darker, but ahem, as I think I should add, Cara's friends don't have a high survival rate. By the end of the First War Lily, Dorcas, Regulus, James, Alice, Frank, Fabian, and Gideon aren't around anymore. By the end of HBP we have lost Emmeline and Sirius. I mean, Peter I can count as not around anymore. Its Hestia and Remus left, I think, right? I mean. Things don't get good from here on out.

But Cara WILL remain a freak and quirky like she is now.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 5: Settle Down;
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Chapter 5: Settle Down;

People were more scared then ever in the following weeks. This man was rising quickly, with one murder so close to us he had the entire Ministry up in arms. I am not a girl who is scared usually or quickly, but this man scared the living shit out of me.

Seriously, just one man, and he can instill so much fear in people that people don’t say his name? That I have nightmares? That he’s got followers already?

This man means business.

I glanced out of the window. Today was one of those teasers, where it looks inviting and warm and sunny outside but you step out there and it’s freezing. I hate those, the way the water reflects off the lake makes me want to swim but if you just dip a finger in you get the chills.

The bell rang and I snapped out of my trance. I had been staring blankly in the direction of the Professor without ever really ever processing anything said.

And, so my day continued. Through Advanced Charms (Merlin knows how I got into that class), Advanced Muggle Studies, and some Potions. And then finally, the most exciting event of my entire Friday.

The bell that ended my last period.


A weekend, a whole two days plus the rest of this one!

Actually, that is the usual concept of a weekend, but for some reason it just seemed more inviting this time.

I grinned as I put my bag down in the Tower and collapsed on my bed.

“Let’s go to dinner,” Emmeline said, looking antsy.

“Hungry?” I said, getting up and following her.


I made eye contact with Narcissa when I walked into the Great Hall and I grinned acidly. Regulus smirked. And Alecto looked ready to kill me.

“Do I want to know why you’re smiling at my brother?” Sirius said.

“It’s a long story, concerning Alecto Carrows ending up with hairy feet and that Yaxely girl ending up with flippers,” I said nonchalantly.

“I’m guessing that was you saving the world, right?”

“Eradicating the world of whores, one Slytherin at a time!”

They laughed and the banter continued all the way through dinner, and ending when pumpkin juice made its way out of Hestia’s nose. Chris thought it was funny. He eats with us now, because he and Hestia are getting rather sickeningly serious.

“Let’s go outside,” Sirius said to only me as the Hall emptied.

I nodded, and he took my hand, leading me outside.

We walked down to the lake, laughing and zigzagging and jumping over rocks and whatnot the whole way.

He led me around a tree, and on the side that overlooked a drop to the lake I found a plaid blanket spread out with a six pack of butterbeer and some other assorted more romantic items waiting for me, including levitating candles and a thick blanket we wrapped our selves in.

“What’s all this for?” I asked, looking up at his eyes.

“At exactly 9:23 there is a comet due to pass right above us,” he said, grinning.

“Sirius, it’s barely seven.”

“Yes, I know,” he said, still smiling.

“What are we going to do until then?” I asked as he popped open a bottle of butterbeer and handed it to me.

“Bond,” he said simply, sipping his own drink.

Eventually, we were cuddling under the blanket against the tree, looking up at the now starry sky, not cold at all, warmed by each other.

“Did anyone tell you how really amazing you are?” Sirius said.


“Well I think you deserve to be told every day,” he said simply.

I smiled as I rested my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead.

Why does this boy always smell so damn good?

I sighed contentedly. He took my hands in his and laced his fingers through mine slowly.

“What did I do right?” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“I have you. I must have done something right.”

He smiled and kissed my cheek.

“8:10,” I said, checking his watch.

“One hour, twelve minutes,” he said.

“Eleven,” I corrected as the minutes changed.

“So what exactly happened with Narcissa and Alecto?” he asked curiously.

“Long story.”

“We’ve got one hour and ten minutes,” he said.

“Okay so basically, I was walking in the hallway and they started to bother me. Pointless jibes, snide remarks, normal Slytherin whore stuff. And then the one raised her wand, I ducked, curse backfired. I repeated this until all aforementioned whores were jinxed, hexed, cursed, or transfigured. Then Regulus came along, distracted them, I escaped.”

“All without using your wand?”

“Yup,” I said.

“Nice work.”

“I thought so.”

“I don’t know what you see in Regulus,” he commented.

“I don’t know him, really. All I know is he saved our lives and had a warm jacket. And he’s never hurt me personally. And he’s your little brother, how bad can he be?”

He snorted. “Bellatrix is my cousin, that’s how bad it can be.”

“So is Andromeda.” She’s a friend of my mum’s, she buys good cookies, because I actually doubt she could bake.

“I still don’t like the idea that you are all buddy-buddy with my brother,” Sirius said, breaking the easy silence between us.

“We aren’t all buddy-buddy! I went out with him to save your necks, remember? The information out of him saved our lives, remember?” Cara shut up you aren't accomplishing anything.

Stop. Opening. Your. Face.

Goddamnit Cara I'm your conscience, listen to me for once!

“Yeah; and he is my father’s little golden child. He does everything my family has brainwashed him to do, he is and always has been Bellatrix’s best friend. He took a liking to you, but that doesn’t change who he is.”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” I said, exhaling deeply. His body against mine was tenser. I don’t like this subject. Families are such a sore spot, he doesn’t like to talk about his and I am ashamed of half of mine.

“No, I do.”

“Well I don’t!” I snapped.

“It’s always about you! Always what you want!”

“God- you were always like this! It’s always your way!”

Ryan’s voice echoed the words he had said to me so long ago.

Is it really always about me? Am I that bad? I don’t think so. I think I just push all the wrong buttons sometimes and that’s how it comes off.

Now it was war.

“Am I really that bad?” I whispered, “Am I that conceited?”

Conceited. Is that the word I am looking for?

Self-absorbed, that’s what 'all about you' means, right?

“No, Cara that’s not how I meant it-,”

“Yeah but that’s how you said it.” I was turned around by now, glaring at him. God those words had hurt, simple words like that only really sting when they come from someone you care about as much as I do about him.

“I can’t talk to you when you are like this,” he said simply, shrugging. I jumped to my feet.

“Like what? Insulted or hurt?”


“Mhm? What?”

He shook his head.

“No really, what?” I demanded.

I should really learn to just shut up and stop over reacting.

I’ll never learn.

My eyes were slowly filling with tears.

Don’t do this Cara, your above crying every time you argue you with him.

I sniffled, trying to hide it.

I turned around, and looked at him blankly before heading back up to the castle.

I sat down on the edge of the stone steps and looked out at the water.

A single comet shot through the sky.

God I was furious, mostly with myself.

* * *



James was yelling at me from his broom about a mile behind me. I was furious. Still. And everything and everyone was bearing the brunt of my frustration. Two boys. Two that mean so much to me. Both say it’s all about me, always my way. I mean really, am I that horrid?

Sirius and I had been having such a romantic moment, I had been so happy, and then I had to be so stupid and kept opening my mouth, Words just kept spilling out of me.

I am overreacting; a little voice in the back of my mind told me I shouldn’t be this bothered by his words. I shouldn’t be racing around 600 miles an hour on a broom while everyone else conducts quidditch practice like normal humans.

I saw a glint of gold. I dove all the way down to the ground at top speed, and caught it within ten seconds.

“Sorry! Must’ve fallen out of my pocket!” Dorcas yelled.

It was a galleon.

Since Ryan, Gideon, and Fabian had graduated, we had three new players with us. Wesley Sorenson took Ryan’s place, he was a fourth year, and two third years named Jimmy and Rebecca took the place as beaters. They were all really good, not better then our previous players but still really good players. Good enough to win us games.

I scowled at Wesley and pocketed the galleon.

I raced upward and then to the left, and caught the actual snitch.

That’s it, I caught the snitch three times, that’s all I usually do in practices.

I put it away and went back up in the sky to practice my flying.

I raced, dipped, soared, rose, turned, and flipped on my broom. I then attempted this swingy-slidy move on my broom that almost game James a heart attack because I kind of almost fell and broke my face.

I ignored him and Emmeline as they lectured me on how I shouldn’t try to kill myself. I ignored them when they ended practice, I kept flying. Flying was almost as calming as swimming for me.

Sirius and I hadn’t spoken. It had been fifteen hours, roughly. It was lunch. I wasn’t hungry. I was thinking I was in love with this kid. I mean, no one had ever been able to make me so angry with just a few words, make me so nervous at the prospect of a kiss, make me want to ditch everyone else just to be able to spend ten minutes with him, and worst of all…I lost my appetite. That was when I knew it was getting serious.

It was freezing, I was sweating. I think it was because my whole body seized up and my heart raced and blood pumped faster just when I thought of him like this.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of Sirius and everything about him.

But everywhere I turned a memory popped up.

That lake, he saved me there. That tree, that’s where we were last night. That stump, we hopped over it when we ventured into the forest last year. That spot, that’s where Lily saved Snape after OWL’s, Sirius had been part of that. That, that’s where he caught me and Ryan. That’s not much of a happy memory, but it still was a memory.

I looked down at my hands on the broom. Sirius had held my hands.

I am desperate here, can’t he see? You can’t just drop me for now…probably almost sixteen. I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t done anything.

I am such a mess. A wreck. A girl in serious need of…Sirius.

“CARA!” My eyes flickered down. A mess of red hair met my eyes.

Lily. And she was holding something in her hand. Food and water.

“Come down!” she yelled.

I obliged, she had in fact cared enough to come all the way here just to track me down.

“Hey darling,” she said, handing me the sandwich she had carefully wrapped in napkins and the bottle of water.

“Let’s sit, shall we?” she said as I nodded and she led me over to the bleachers.

“Talk to me, love,” she said. Lily is the most caring, gentle person when you’re her friend. Once you’ve got her as a good friend, you don’t shake her; she’d do anything for you. She’ll be a great mum.

So we ate and sat and I told her the story. She muttered ‘git’ in all the right places, and even gasped with a ‘he didn’t!’ at the right spot.

“And so concludes everything I have to tell,” I said, shaking my head.

“So how was your night?” I asked.

“I went on a date with Alec Fenwick.”

“The 7th year? I didn’t know you talked to him,” I commented.

“I don’t, I see him in the library and he helped me find a couple of books. We got to talking after dinner and I showed him how to get food from the kitchens, and we sat there eating until midnight. It wasn’t a date per se, but we laughed a lot. I actually got to know him and like him a lot.”

“Go Lily,” I said with a smile.

“Yeah, I’ve promised to eat dinner with him and his friends tonight at the Ravenclaw table.”

“Meeting the friends? Wow, he really likes you.”

“I’m just meeting his friends.”

“Yeah, his friends! That’s a big thing.”

Lily blushed.


She likes him. How cute.

All happy people should die.

“So what are you going to do about Sirius?” she said.

“I don’t know. Nothing. Wait out the rest of the day. Last time I apologized to him it didn’t work. I am waiting for him to say sorry to me.”

“Good move.” I nodded in agreement. We had finished our sandwiches.

“Let’s go inside, you must be exhausted. And you are definitely in need of a shower,” Lily said, grinning.

And so the once enemies now best friends, meaning me and Lily, walked up to the castle and she went to find Alec whilst I had the best bubble bath of the millennium.

It was a just a few years in the making now
The two were locked in a heated dispute
Cause he was gone when she needed him more
Then she could really ever let on to
They were the poster perfect high school sweethearts
But moving out can’t erase the time
But to a spin on working it out, and
Everybody knew that they were out of their minds
Oh you really need to settle down
And let it go
Settle Down; Cartel

A/N - Its doing that thing where it takes me ten times to get it to actually post because my computer keeps spazzinggggg=/

Please don't hate me for making them fight=] lol.

So, next chapters written and the chapter seven is giving me some serious trouble. Just some writers block, but i feel a writing mood coming on so I think numero seveno (siete?) will be done along with 56% of chapter eight (ocho?) by tonight. So, expect plenty of updates within the next week. (Uh. Weeko?)

BTW: Everyone who caught the Captain Jack (whom I don't own)reference last chapter gets a cookiee.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 6: Lullabies;
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Chapter 6: Lullabies;

“You are playing, Cara, and your going to win,” Emmeline said, tossing a brush and scrunchie at me.

“Yes Master,” I said as I put up my hair.

“Hey Lily, how do you feel about your darling Alec playing seeker against Cara today?” Dorcas asked.

“I am devastated, torn, I do not know how I will cope with having to choose which side to root for,” Lily joked melodramatically.

I grinned. “Dear, you are rooting for me, end of story,” I said as I finished applying makeup.

“Let’s win,” I said simply as we hurried down to the pitch.

About an hour later, my attempts to find the snitch were fruitless. Alec was tailing me closely, and I couldn’t see the snitch anywhere.

“Do I smell good, Fenwick?” I asked.


“Well you’ve been so close to me all game, you would know.”

He chuckled and kept a weather eye out looking for the snitch. My eyes darted back and forth just like his did. Skillfully, he managed to keep an eye on all parts of the pitch at once. I need to learn how to do that.

He saw it first. I inched my broom farther and farther towards the lead, I needed to win, if we won, we would have to beat Slytherin, and then we would face Hufflepuff in the Cup.

My heart was beating in my ears, the crowd cheered, someone announced Ravenclaw had scored. We were down by ten. I needed this snitch.

“How’s Lily?” I asked, trying to throw him.

“It's not working,” he said as we both huffed and puffed and tried to get that snitch first.

The snitch was a speedy little bugger. Those little wings sure do get it places, eh?

But at last, our epic battle ended when my hands firmly clasped the snitch, grabbing it about a millisecond before he did.

I grinned cheekily as he shook my hand and I ran off to be buried in a sweaty team hug.

Sirius was talking to James. I still had yet to say a word to Sirius.

Emmeline hugged me tightly.

“Still no talking?” she whispered.

“None,” I whispered back as she let go and I went off to get changed.

I lagged behind in the locker room. Putting things in my bag slowly, redoing my hair meticulously, putting jewelry on, and putting on cute clothes. Sirius would want to talk to me; I looked pretty cute for someone who had just partaken in strenuous physical activity.

“Good game,” James said, coming out of the boys end towards the actually co-ed locker area.

“Thanks, you didn’t do too bad yourself,” I said, sitting on the bench.

“Is she really dating Fenwick?” James asked suddenly, turning around to look at me.

I nodded. “James, she’ll come around eventually,” I said.

“I hope so.”

“What has Sirius been saying about me?” I asked.

He didn’t meet my eyes, guiltily. It was hard for him, having his two best friends go out and then have problems. He sort of had to choose. I know it would suck if him and Emmeline went out and then fought.

“Cara, he loves you, he really does. It’s not his fault you sort of just struck a nerve. And he lost it. He doesn’t want you exposed to what he has to go through. He moved out of his house for god sakes!”

I nodded. Sirius had run away over the summer. He went back in July for his mum’s annual birthday/huge gala dinner party.

And came back forty six hours later, bleeding with a bruise and some serious mental damage, the poor guy was so shaken up. I cried with him that night.

I needed to talk to him. Soon. I couldn’t do this. I can’t wait for him to apologize.

I needed that little bugger.

God, I have it bad, don’t I?

If you excuse me, I have a boyfriend to apologize to.

* * *

“SIRIUS!” I yelled. He turned around, his expression weird. I threw my arms around his neck, and his arms found their spot around me

“I am so sorry,” I whispered.

“Its okay, it was really my fault. I was wrong.”

“No, I wouldn’t drop it. Both of us were getting a little touchy,” I said, kissing his cheek as he spun me around. It was one of those amazing hugs where he spins you and holds you real tight and he smells good so when he moves you get this amazing aroma of good-smelling boy.

Best apology ever. All I had to do was throw myself at him.

That’s all I could do.

Hand in hand we headed down to the kitchens for some strawberry ice cream.

“So I got a letter from Andromeda,” he said.

“Oh really?” I said, genuinely interested, “what did it say?”

“It was all about how she felt when she was disowned and how I could talk to her about what I was feeling towards my mum, no matter how many profanities I used. It actually made me feel better, cheesy as it sounds.”

“That’s good, that’s really good. My mum actually likes being disowned. Although I am almost positive she is getting inside information from someone. She knows too much pureblood gossip.”

“I think disowning is a stupid concept,” Sirius said.

“How so, love? Getting a loophole, like a way to be rid of your family definitely? It could be a blessing in disguise,” I said.

“Yeah, but it’s like; so you’re my mum, you raised me, but you are just going to forget I ever existed completely? Like I was nothing? Ever?”

“You are something,” I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“Thank God someone thinks so,” he said.

“So, what do you think about the Alec/Lily relations going down?” I said.

“Nice topic change?”

“No, really.”

“I think James is going to need a couple more tissues after the rumor I heard about them two. Is it true that they went pretty far in the restricted section?”

I laughed. “Knowing Lily, never. Libraries are too sacred.”

He grinned and smeared ice cream on my face just to kiss it off.

My boyfriend was back.

Inward squeal!

* * *

“Yeah Hestia, I would say he is the best kisser to walk the earth,” Lily said, laughing.

“Wow, better then Ryan?” I asked.

“You would know,” she shot back playfully.

“Now, now Ladies, we wouldn’t want anyone to end up with magenta skin,” Emmeline joked.

I laughed. “So any other juicy gossip?”

“Apparently Alecto is engaged to some guy. Well, promised. Arranged marriages. She’s of age though, right?” Alice said.

“Yeah. She is. Poor girl. I heard it was a Malfoy,” Lily said.

“Oh God. Alecto? In my family? No thank you,” I said.

“Wait! You never told us, I am guessing you and Sirius are okay again, right?” Emmeline said.

“Yeah, definitely,” I said, winking.

They all howled with laughter and cat-calls. I love a day that ends with some good ole fashioned girl time at night. A nice way to end everything.

“How’s Frank?” Dorcas asked.

“Great. His hair is longer. And they got to out last Friday and apparently Gideon got so drunk they had to levitate him home. But Gid has been getting some girl action lately,” Alice said.

“With who?” I said.

“Oh some girl at Auror Training Camp. Apparently she’s all the rage.” We laughed.

“All the rage? Like…spandex?” Emmeline said.

“No, as in…she’s what all he boys are into,” Lily explained.

“Literally,” Alice said as we all cracked up.

Gotta love her.

Dead – Like a candle you burned out;
Spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream- to be heard, like you needed any more attention
Throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.
Sing me to sleep; I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say,
“I miss you. I’m so sorry.”
Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around
It’s like a piece of me is missing
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Lullabies; All Time Low

A/N- I loved this chapter. I wrote it in an hour. It was so much fun, and I don't even know why. LISTEN TO ALL TIME LOW. I mean really, they are sexy and his voice is amazing and their lyrics are good. What more could you want? So uh, if you uys are lucky I'll update again later since its still only 12:30 and there is enough time for you guys to all read this one and then I can put the next one out and finish chapter nine all in one day. But this could all be changed if I go to the mall. Do you guys even really care? No. Didn't think so.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 7: Staplegunned;
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Chapter 7: Staplegunned;

“You guys are official?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Lily said, nodding proudly.

I grinned. “Nice work,” I said. Alec Fenwick was cute. That’s the only way to describe it. Cute. Darker hair, bright blue eyes. He was just adorable.

“Happy Friday the 13th,” Hestia said, sitting down.

Lily smiled. “It’s good to hear some muggle superstitions in the morning,” she said.

“Hey love,” Sirius said, squeezing into a spot across from me.

“Morning,” I said happily.

“So darling, what is it that you have planned for me tomorrow?” I asked.

Valentine’s Day was tomorrow. I was actually really excited.

“Uh, Cara…” he said, looking at me guiltily.

“You forgot?”

“No, no I would never. Its just, well,” he darted his eyes back and forth, and caught my eyes when no one was paying attention, “full moon.”

Saturday night, the night of Valentine’s Day, meaning at around six he would have to go out there, because the moon rose earlier in the winter, meaning he would be nervous and trying to sleep all day so he wouldn’t be too tired later.

Great. Valentine’s Day, the most romantic night of the whole year, and my boyfriend decides he wants to run around and try to get killed all night. Yeah Cara, he’s a keeper.

I sighed. “Have fun,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely.

“Its fine, what am I supposed to ask you to do? Not go?”

“True Are you sure your okay with it?”

“Sirius. Drop it, I’m fine,” I said, smiling. He really does care.

The bell rang. “TO CLASS!” Emmeline explained, jumping from her seat and pointing out of the Great Hall.

And so, Friday the 13th began.

* * *

“I hate this,” I muttered as I put my hair up and grabbed my wand.

I was going to be the good person I was, and spend Valentine’s Day in its entirety with four boys. Yeah, last night had been pretty rough.

Did anyone know? Nope. The girls thought they were in detention all day and I was studying. I felt bad lying but my boyfriend was out cold.

They were all beat up pretty bad, it really makes me paranoid when it’s a full moon and they all go out, I know they all risked their lives, more so James and Sirius because they really bear the brunt of Remus, Peter was more there for help but he did get stepped on a lot, and once Remus tried to eat him.

It was six in the morning. The sun was just climbing into the sky, but the moon was gone, meaning the boys were back.

For every other girl full moons are romantic, snog opportunities. To me, they are torture.

I entered the Hospital Wing quietly, books tucked under my arm, just in case no one woke up to keep me company.

My stomach tightened when I saw them. Remus had a huge gash starting on his neck and traveling down his shoulder, and then was covered by his blanket. Sirius’s hair was matted with what looked like blood and sweat, and he was breathing funny, which worried me most.

James looked fine, but a lot paler then he should be, and Pete had a huge bruise on his face.

I swallowed heavily; I had sat here with them before. Too many times before.

I opened my book and started to read, but ended up rereading the same paragraph over and over. I was worried more then I ever am. Mostly about Sirius. His ragged, labored breathing scared me.

Madame Pomfrey didn’t know the boys transformed, but she knew they were probably up late worried so she would let them stay with Remus the next day usually, and James is so good with spells he could usually fix most injuries the boys had himself.

The sun had climbed higher into the Sunday morning sky, and I was guessing every normal human was going to breakfast. I had a special little stack of cold pancakes and toast that I had only taken little bites of thus far.

I finished the book I was reading, went down for lunch, started a new one, and by about four o’clock the first sign of life was shown.


“Afternoon Remus,” I said, grinning. He tried to turn his head, but let out a long groan of pain.

“Rough night?”

“You think?” he retorted, massaging his temples as he attempted to reposition himself.

I walked over and helped him move, the poor guy gets so sore and exhausted. They all do. But they really are a loyal bunch, who else has friends that would do this for them?

“Love?” Sirius asked groggily as he opened his eyes.

“How are you feeling?” I asked gently as I brushed his damp hair out of his eyes.

“Like I just fought a werewolf,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

I kissed his cheek lightly and stroked his hair.

“Get some more sleep baby,” I murmured as he nodded.

Slowly, both boys lulled themselves back into a slumber.

I left again for dinner, came back to fine Peter, James, and Sirius struggling to stay awake.

“Come on boys, you guys should get to your own dorms,” I said, motioning them out. It was a tad suspicuous that they had been sleeping and in the Hospital Wing the entire day.

I walked with them all the way up to the Tower, holding Sirius’s hand even if he was too tired to appreciate it.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, love,” he said softly as he kissed my cheek before going upstairs to bed.

Even if I spent my actual day worrying and the day after watching, I wouldn’t have traded that moment for anything.

* * *

“But I have something to show you!”

His tone was happy, like a little boy’s. I was giggly and excited, Sirius’s hands were over my eyes and he was leading me somewhere. We were outside; the cold breeze had confirmed that.

“Okay,” he said, removing his hands from my eyes.

A pretty blanket was set up, with levitating candles and picnic basket and romantic music was playing out of nowhere. The stars were really bright and closer then usual, and it was beautiful outside.

I stepped onto the blanket and suddenly it was warm. Ah, clever spellwork.

“It’s amazing,” I said, sitting down.

“Only for you,” he said, grinning.

I kissed him; actually, I kissed him for quite a while.

“Champagne?” he asked elegantly.


He poured me some; I didn’t bother asking where he had gotten the alcohol. I leant my head on his shoulder as we looked up at the sky, a breeze ruffling the grass around us but not touching us at all.

“Please don’t ever leave me, you’re the perfect girl for me,” he said, putting his arm around me.

“Please don’t ever leave me, you’re the perfect guy for me,” I said back, leaning my head on his shoulder comfortably.

The cutest Valentine’s Day ever.

And I wanted to tell him I loved him, badly.

Suddenly, the words that I had said to everyone but him seemed unspeakable. Trepidation hung in the pit of my stomach the whole night, for it had been dwelling inside of me.


Why couldn’t I just say it?

What was is so scary about saying those three words?

Actually, what isn’t?

It was in the lobby when I set my sights on you
Shoulda kissed you in the elevator
But I was too scared to
It was in the morning when I made up my mind
I want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time
Do I have to spell it out to you?
Or scream it in your face?
Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place
Do I have to spell it out for you?
Or whisper in your ear?
Oh, just stop right there,
I think that we’ve got something here.
Staplegunned; the Spill Canvas

A/N- I really didn't like this chapter. It was boring and stupid loll, that was mature. No really though, I guess I just like the later chapters more, the next one is one of my favorites, the next one is controversial (well I hope not but ... eh....) and the one after that, ten, is almost done so the more people who read the more I'll update, cause I won't update if I don't feel that enough people have read the previous chapter, which I think I've said before...

BTW. Listen to Staplegunned. Now. =]

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 8: Wonderwall;
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Chapter 8: Wonderwall;

“You’ve got letters,” Emmeline said, raising her eyebrows knowingly at me as she handed me the letter. I had slept through breakfast and was now seated in the Common Room in a semi-vegetative state.


“Your family, amongst others,” she said cryptically.


I walked up into the dorm, first period was free this week, and I was actually excited to read these letters.

I tore open Ryan’s and read it eagerly. What am I, a nine year old?

Breathe. Don’t be desperate.



Actually, I had heard about that but I didn’t know you were seated directly behind him; you could’ve stunned him from behind and saved everyone a lot of trouble.

But really, I don’t think talking about this in letters is good, they are actually intercepting more and more. Why they would choose us is beyond me, but it’s possible and I’d hate to get us both killed. I’ll save the melodramatic lecture for the next time I see you. Interested in lunch sometime over Easter holidays?

Is that a date? No, right? Of course not.

My mum’s letter let me know that Callie had said ‘dada’ as her first word and Charlie had learned it because Callie always screams it when she seems mum.

Speaking of which, my parents are really worried about everything and each other. And my mum absolutely exploded when she found out how close I was to HIM. My mum sounded so weird. She’s up to something.

Immediately after lessons I had all Sterling children attending Hogwarts assembled in the library for some discussion on the current situation involving SOMETHING being different about mum.

“So, she is definitely up to something,” I said.

“You know mum, she is a horrible liar,” Chris said.

“But maybe it isn’t something bad. Maybe she’s just really worried about us and it’s coming off like she’s hiding something when she’s really just afraid we’re all going to die,” Connor said.

“No Con, she is hiding something and I know it,” I said.

“I’m not so sure,” he said.

“I’ve known her longer!” I joked.

“Yeah but she loves me most,” Chris said.

“Okay, ladies, let’s not have this argument,” I said, “but what do you think it is?”

“Another baby?” Chris joked.

We exchanged glances. “I doubt it,” I said.

“Maybe Marlene’s pregnant,” Connor said.

“No, I think its something to do with V-Voldemort,” I said, as they cringed slightly when I said his name.

“I hope it’s nothing bad,” Connor said.

“I hope it’s nothing at all,” I said.

“Well we will be home for Easter holidays April 3rd, and it’s pretty soon,” Chris said, “we’ll find out then. In the mean time, I will write Cody and see if he knows anything.”

“Good thinking,” I said.

“Meeting over?” Connor asked.

“Its over,” I said as we all went our separate ways.

Something is afoot!

My feet carried me straight to the Great Hall for dinner, and I loaded my plate with food the second I sat down.

“This one eats like food is going out of style,” Remus said, shaking his head.

I looked up, mouth clamped around a huge glob of mashed potatoes on my fork. Everyone laughed at me and I smiled as I continued to eat heartily. I was raised that way. You are hungry, you eat. Eat until you’re full. Simple.

“Oh did I tell you guys? Callie can say ‘dada’,” I said as Emmeline cheered.

“Yeah, and her next word will be ‘mine’. I’ll make sure of it,” I said, grinning.

I looked over at Sirius and my heart fluttered. Every single thing he did was cute. His expressions, his laugh, his smile was to die for. He is everything I wanted.

And I have always said exactly what I’m thinking to him, yet ‘I love you’ seems to be too hard to say. My mouth went dry just thinking it.

“So how did everyone do on their Charms exams?” Peter asked.

“I think I did absolutely dismally,” Emmeline said.

“It was so easy,” I exclaimed.

“You know, you got a lot smarter when you got with Sirius,” Emmeline said.

“Did I?” I asked.

“Cara, you are in Advanced Charms. This time last year I didn’t think you were making it into Average Charms,” James said.

“The amount of confidence in me you posses is stunning,” I said sarcastically.

I flicked a pea at his nose. He said no more.

* * *

“Why are the good broom closets always taken?” I groaned.

Sirius and I had been in the middle of a rather good snogging session, when we were kicked out of the classroom by Filch.

“It’s Wednesday night, not many people are usually in broom closets on Wednesday!” Sirius exclaimed.

“If this one has people in it then we are going to have to go back to the Common Room,” I exclaimed as I opened the one on the fourth floor, at the end of the hall.

“OY!” I exclaimed, as I caught sight of the people inside.

Lily and Alec were kissing the brains out of each other.

I exchanged a look with Sirius before closing the door.

I looked at him again before laughing, a little nervously.

“I really hope she doesn’t do anything stupid,” I said as he nodded.

“She wouldn’t,” he said.

“I hope not,” I said, now a little nervous about what Lily would actually do.

“Relax, trust her,” he said.

“You’re right. Ew, I hate saying that,” I said, smiling up at him.

“It’s so sexy when you’re sarcastic,” he said, grinning. And he kissed me.

And we weren’t even in a broom closet.

“BLACK!” He broke away and blushed slightly, looking up at the person who interrupted us sheepishly.

“Professor McGonagall, lovely evening,” I said, nodding. I was holding in a huge bout of laughter.

“Miss Sterling, please refrain from the public displays of affection in my presence,” she said sternly.

“Could you leave then, Professor?” Sirius asked. I snorted with laughter.

“Three points from Gryffindor,” she said, walking away.

We looked at each other and burst into laughter.

“You’ve got guts,” I said, continuing to laugh.

“I am a Marauder after all,” he said, grinning.

“You’re not just any Marauder.”

“No, I’m your Marauder,” he said.

Sirius Black had just pledged his Maraudership to me.

That’s big, my friends.

* * *

“No it wasn’t!”


“Sirius SHUT UP! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”



“Uh guys, your both wrong,” Remus said.

“NO I’M NOT!” Sirius and I said in unison.

Remus shook his head and smiled at us, muttering about how messed up our children would turn out.

I shook my head and sighed, tapping my toe restlessly. My anger was slowly evaporating.

“If I was to tell you it’s a turn on when you yell, what would you do?” he said, looking at me.

“This,” I said, kissing him.

Emmeline made gagging sounds, of course.

I smiled and so did he, and our kiss was broken early because we both started laughing.

We had been doing a lot of that lately.

There are so many things that I would
Like to say to you
But I don’t know how
So I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all, you’re my wonderwall
Today was gonna be the day
But they’ll never throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you’re not to do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
Wonderwall; Cartel

A/N- AHH shortness. Sorry. But yeah, this one was sort of a filler with some kinda semi important things obscurely mentioned, so it was nessecary. Sorry for the little patch of boringness here though, we'll get out of it soon! loll. Oh, and I know there is a version of Wonderwall by Oasis and I think that's the original but I like the Cartel version so its the person I credited it too! loll. Uh, please please please love itt.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 9: Beating Heart Baby;
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Chapter 9: Beating Heart Baby;

“Up and at ‘em baby doll we’re winning a Quidditch game today!” Emmeline said loudly, bouncing up at down on my bed.

“I don’t wanna,” I groaned, rolling over.

“If we win there’s a big party with lots of Firewhisky!” she sang.

“And then there’s the cup and that means we get an even bigger party!” Dorcas said.

“With even more Firewhisky!” Emmeline sang again.

I sat up. “Just for the Firewhisky,” I said, smiling as I began to get ready for the match.

Before I knew it, I was hovering in the afternoon air, which grew warmer and warmer every day.

It was the biggest rivalry of the entire season. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin, only one will go to the House Cup.

And we were tied! Sixty to sixty!

The tension between the players was thicker then molasses. The crowd was riled and going crazy, people had painted their bodies and all.

I saw a glint of gold. I rushed towards it, the other seeker not catching on until I already had a good lead. She hadn’t been tailing me, and she wasn’t too bright, but she was one of the girls I had ended up jinxing whilst saving the world.

I could feel the glare of Narcissa and Alecto.

I zoomed after the snitch determinedly, and the other seeker was really close to me, she could’ve pulled a bristle out of my broom.

I put my whole body weight towards trying to catch the snitch and missed, my body lunging dangerously off the broom, causing it to downwards, causing me to slide to the point where more of me was hanging off the front.

I had lost control of the damn broom.

I hung off of the edge as it bucked, trying to stay on it. Momentarily, I caught the eyes of Narcissa, and she was grinning.

She jinxed my broom and I know it.

Meanwhile, I was still struggling to get on the broom.

And then, my savior.

James flew into place next to me, and motioned. We had practiced this over the summer, actually, because the two players on the American team had done this during the World Cup.

I swung one leg over and nodded to him as we made that death-defying leap to the other broom.

I was safely on James’s broom and thanking him with all my heart as I rocketed towards the snitch. He was struggling with it but he knew I needed to catch the snitch. There two other Chasers, no other Seeker.

I could kiss him.

Oh, the drama THAT would cause.

This time, I was more careful with my lunge for the snitch, and caught it.

I screamed in victory as the crowd erupted into a huge explosion of sound; noise, shrieks, and claps.

I grinned wildly, and looked down to see James proudly smiling at me, my broom being looked at by Madame Harrison. I laughed in delight.

I jumped into James’s arms the second I got on the ground. He was screaming and cheering as he spun around.

“That was the most amazing thing you’ve ever done for me,” I said, smiling really widely.

“It was nothing, you were going to win the game anyway, and I trusted that Emmeline could score a few.”

“No but we both could’ve died had that broom switching not been perfect,” I said.

“Well then let’s be glad it was, eh?” he said, laughing.

“Can I steal her?” Sirius said, looking at James.

“Keep her,” James said, walking away as was swept into a huge group of cheering people.

“Don’t you ever do that again!” he scolded, smiling.

“Promise!” I said, kissing him.

“If you will excuse me, I have to go throttle Narcissa for jinxing my broom,” I said, walking past him.

“OH NARCISSA!” I called cheerily as I approached a huge sea of depressed, snooty looking people glad in green and silver.

“Yes, Sterling?”

“What jinx did you use on my broom?” I asked, smiling sweetly.

“Me? Jinx your broom? I would never!” she said, feigning offense, hand dramatically clutching her heart.

“Yeah right, you jinxed it, you know it, and your pissed because I still caught the snitch,” I said, sneering.

“You have some warped opinion that I actually care enough about you,” she said scathingly.

“I, however, loathe you enough,” Alecto said, joining the little spat.

“I am not going to hex all of you again, that’s getting a little boring for me, you know? Too easy. So you guys can get off, you guys just won me the game, after all. Have fun at your Victory Party ladies! OH WAIT! You won’t have one!” I said, gloating just to piss them off as I walked away.

“And you say I have guts?” Sirius said, eyes widened.

I grinned at him. “Let’s party,” I said happily, as he put his arm around me and we followed the huge, happy, exhilarated group of Gryffindors up to the Tower where the party was waiting.

* * *

Well this is certainly new.

Things were getting rather hot and heavy between Sirius and I, and I knew he was thinking one thing, but probably in different terms then I am right now. We were snogging really, really snogging, unlike anything before.

I mean, girls would kill to be getting this intense with Sirius, and here I am, doubting where I am letting his hands go. I mean, this is fun, er, I guess, but I don’t think I am ready to go any farther.

I am thinking too much, I guess. This isn’t supposed to be so thought out.

He seems to know what he’s doing, but I have never gone this far. I mean, compared to some people this isn’t far at all but the heat we are generating probably fogged up the windows.

Did I mention we were in a bathroom?

Real romantic, I know.

I am probably too uptight and nervous right now, my stomach is tying itself in knots. I am some kind of freak who does not feel ready to have sex with Sirius Black. I certainly will not. Not while we are on top of each other on a bathroom floor, not when we are both tipsy (which we are,) and certainly not when it’s the boys dorms. And, not while I am sixteen and doubting myself.

Is he trying to take off my shirt?

Before anything else could happen, a searing pain shot through my head.

Someone had opened the bathroom door and smacked my head, hard.

Dazed, I looked up to see James, who had climbed over us and was now throwing up.

I got up, dizzy and stumbled out, hair disheveled, tank top only covering one shoulder, really cliché. I walked straight down the stairs, and to the Firewhisky table, where I grabbed two cups, chugging one and then the other without even blinking.

The burning in my throat made some of my stomach knots untie. Sirius hadn’t come down the stairs, and I didn’t really care, currently. He was probably trying to help a drunken James.

I looked around the Common Room, trying to focus, my head still throbbing uncomfortably. I blinked hard, and still; no focus.


I turned around, and saw Remus.

“Are you okay?” he asked, leading me towards somewhere that was quieter.

I nodded.

“Cara, your head’s bleeding. You aren’t okay.”

I shook my head mutely.

“You need to get up to bed,” he said, “Lily’s up there; she’ll set you right.”

I walked up the stairs slowly, and all I remember is Lily giving me a glass of water at some point.

I woke up a lot later, and everyone was sitting around, eating snacks of sort.

“Morning darling,” Dorcas said.

“How art thou feeling, love?” Emmeline asked.

“Like I got hit in the head with a bludger,” I murmured.

“Here,” Lily said, handing me a potion, “drink it,” she added.

I did as I was told, and the pain began to ebb.

“So what the hell happened to you?” Lily asked.

“You look like you’ve been through the ringer,” Emmeline said.

I washed down the potion with some pretzels.

“Guys. How do you all feel about sex?” I asked, looking at them.

“What do you mean?” Hestia asked.

“Like, okay. We haven’t really talked about this subject before,” I said, starting to feel stupid.

“Are you trying to ask who has and who hasn’t?” Alice asked. I nodded slowly, careful not to hurt my head.

Emmeline looked away and stuffed a whole lot of pretzels in her mouth at once. Alice started to file her nails, chewing rather animatedly on a piece of gum.

The rest of exchanged looks, knowingly.

“Spill,” Dorcas, Lily, Hestia, and I all said at once.

Emmeline took a deep breath. “Will you guys hate me for not saying anything sooner?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“I did,” she said, “with Fabian,” she added.

“I figured,” Lily said.

“And so did I,” Alice said, “not with Fabian! With Frank.”

“Any more confessions?” I asked, looking around the room.

The remaining girls shook their heads.

“Wait, Cara, what happened to you last night?” Lily asked.

“I just. Kinda. Got really heated with Sirius and then James smacked my head with the door corner when he opened it to come in and throw up.”

“But you didn’t want to? Or where you just interrupted?” Hestia asked.

“No, I didn’t want to,” I said.

“I don’t either,” Lily said firmly.

“Why did you?” Dorcas asked.

“Me? I am in love with Fabian. I really am. And it was just like, everyone’s scared, but for me, it was like…you know right before you get on a broom for the first time and it’s scary and then you do it and you don’t know why you were always so scared?” she said.

So when she had sex with Fabian she figured it was just like getting on a broom?

I don’t follow.

“No,” Alice said, trying to help her out, “I see what you are saying, but for me it was just that Frank was leaving, and he means so much to me. It was just right, like the moment felt right. Like I wouldn’t regret it. And I didn’t.”

“I know I’m not ready,” I said.

“And so the big bad sex issue rears its ugly head,” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Do you think Chris has?” Hestia asked.

I made a gagging face. “I hope not,” I said.

“I think Alec has,” Lily said.

“I think it just depends on who the person is,” Emmeline said, “and who the couple is and if the moments right. We’re sixteen, I know its young but I know fourth years that have…well, you know. And that’s wrong, but I was and am still at the point where I am so comfortable with Fabian and I’d trust him with anything, including my life.”

“That’s really amazingly sweet. But I don’t think Sirius and I are there. Or ready for it. I don’t even think our relationship is ready for it, quite frankly,” I said.

“You can tell though, the way you guys look at each other. Sirius loves everything you do. You could come into school wearing a huge paper bag and he’d still think you were the prettiest thing in the room,” Emmeline said.

I smiled really wide. I have to tell him.

I love you.

It should be simple, right?

Baby is this love for real?
Let me in your arms to feel
The beating heart baby
The beating of your heart, baby
In spite of you
Even out of view
Still, I love all of you, I do.
Beating Heart Baby; Head Automatica

A/N- Everything has kept me from updating this, including three computer blinks and one father who neeeded to use the computer and exed out right before I hit save chapter, so it was alll gone and I started again (well, I am writing the authors note again) so I am trying not to take it as a sign. AH AND NOW DINNERS READY. OKay, so some divine presence doeeess not want this up, and I am nervous about how it will be received to begin with. So, Lily said it all when she said 'and the big bad sex issue rears its ugly head,' and they are sixteen so its bound to be thought of, talked about, or done. I'll add more to this once I eat dinner so review, lovelies.

Chapter 10: We've Only Just Begun;
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Chapter 10: We’ve Only Just Begun;

“Cara, are you okay?” James asked, walking over to me.


“Yeah, yeah I want to play.”

The Cup was today. The Cup, the pinnacle of the entire season, the defining moment of our year, the chance to prove Gryffindor was the best again. I was playing no matter what my body was telling my brain. Which, right now, was I NEED TO SIT DOWN.

I squeezed my eyes shut and walked out onto the pitch with everyone else.

“Cara, Cara, you do not look well,” Emmeline said, coming over to me and looking at me worriedly.

The crowd was roaring, and eventually, everything was reduced to a buzz. I could feel more of my teammates around me, but the whole stadium was spinning faster now.

Then, it was all black.

I didn’t see light again for a while, but when I did there was far too much of it. I blinked hard, my eyes resisting the adjustment of dark to light. I squinted, and then my eyes gradually accepted light.

“Cara!” Remus said quietly, coming over to me.

“What the hell just happened to me?” I said, groaning, and clumsily taking the goblet Madame Pomfrey shoved in my hands.

“What happened?” I repeated, feeling perfect within five seconds of swallowing.

“You fainted dead away, right before they blew the whistle,” he said calmly, “Madame Pomfrey said you were just dehydrated when she saw you, and they had a back-up play the Cup for you,” he said.

“And?” I asked nervously. I can’t believe I fainted. How embarrassing.

“They won.”

I squealed with delight. “So how come you aren’t at the party?” I asked.

“Well, James and Sirius everyone else is in Dumbledore’s office, actually.”


“All of your friends ran into some Slytherins after the Cup, and an altercation occurred, but they kind of were under the impression you were poisoned or jinxed by said Slytherins…and the altercation escalated until every single one of them was so hexed, jinxed, cursed, and bewitched that they couldn’t keep fighting each other.”

I smiled widely.

“And where were you during all of this?” I asked, looking at him.

He sighed. “I was last out of the stadium, I got held up. Holly Walters asked me to Hogsmeade, I turned her down, and she had all of her strange friends bother me until I said I’d reconsider. When I got down, everyone was gone.”

Holly. Blonde, curly hair, tall…really skinny? Is that the one? Yeah, it has to be. It’s the only one.

“Aw, Holly’s a nice girl, you should go out with her,” I said.

“No, no.”

“Got your sights set on someone else?”

He didn’t answer me, although I knew I was right, but he was saved from answering when all of our friends came in.

“How are you?!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Remus, why are you here?”

“I got Narcissa real good!”

“Detention only for a night!”

“Wait, but what’s wrong with you?”

“She’s dehydrated,” Madame Pomfrey said, bustling through the crowd, giving me another potion, “but after this last one she should be good. And, I suggest you drink more water, less Firewhisky. And, get more sleep. But other then that, you should be okay to go to your party for a while tonight,” she said, snapping her fingers and having my hospital gown transfigure right into my normal clothes.

“Thanks!” I said cheerfully, smiling as I hopped down from the bed, feeling amazing and ready to answer all the questions.

* * *

Why am I all alone? I am in a weakened state! How did I end up all alone again?

“Want a drink?” Who is THAT?

“No, I’m good,” I said, smiling politely up at the seventh year who had offered it to me. Actually, I hadn’t ever seen him before. Transfer? Who transfers right before Easter? And, by the looks of him, in his seventh year?

“Fair enough,” he replied.

“Wait, you aren’t a Gryffindor,” I said, looking at him.

“Guilty,” he said, grinning.

“But you look way too beautiful to just be a sixth year,” he said. I laughed, still not accepting the second drink he had in his hand. Where is Sirius?

“I didn’t catch your name,” he said, leaning back, looking more casual.

“I never said it.”

“Would you mind telling me?”

“You haven’t proven yourself worthy of my name,” I shot back.

“Well what would make me worthy?” he asked, leaning closer to me.

Back up buddy, I am taken. I’m too beautiful to be single.

I looked up at him. “You figure it out.”

“How about this?” He pressed his lips to mine and I recoiled quickly, managing to at least push his face off of mine. Sirius was quickly weaving his way through the people towards us. I slapped the Mystery Boy. The kid was cute, but I am in love with my boyfriend.

“THAT did not make you worthy!” I yelled.

“What’s all this?” Sirius asked.

“Why should I have to tell you?” the boy asked.

“Sirius, back up, he isn’t worth punching,” I said, putting my hand on Sirius’s shoulder.

“Yeah, back up Sirius baby,” the boy mocked.

“Now listen, you-,” I said, stepping in front of Sirius threateningly.

“Now, now Cara he isn’t worth punching,” Sirius said, grinning as he wrapped his arm around my waist and led me away.

“YEAH WALK AWAY!” the boy yelled.

“JEALOUS!” Sirius and I yelled back in unison, laughing as we walked away.

“See what happens when you leave me alone?” I joked.

He laughed and handed me a glass of pumpkin juice. “Isn’t it getting a little late? You are supposed to get sleep and we’re getting up early to go home tomorrow,” he said dutifully.

“Yeah…yeah,” I said, looking up at him. And then he kissed me. Thank God, at least the taste of that guy was gone.

And I guess he doesn’t think it’s too late for snogging.

“Let’s go, beautiful,” he said.

“Sirius, those are the stairs to YOUR room.”

“Oh. Yeah, you’re right,” he said, grinning, as I kissed him again.

“MOVE! You’re kind of blocking the stairs!” some girl yelled.

“Jealous,” I whispered to Sirius, as we turned to look at her.

“Go around?” he said. And she listened. You’d think he was God or something.

I kissed him again, my body ended up pressed against the stone wall, which was surprisingly cold.

“It’s-really-getting-late,” I said in between kisses.

“Yeah,” he said, continuing to kiss me. Cara! It’s almost 1. You should really get to sleep; you’re getting up in seven hours. You need your sleep. Sleeeeeep, Cara darling. Not snog.

“Sirius, love, I really need to go to sleep,” I said, disconnecting myself from him.

“Yeah I know you should,” he said, letting go of my hands.

“One more,” I said, pressing myself to him, kissing him.

“Okay,” I said, breaking away, “good night.”

“Night Cara.”

I shivered, the air getting a little colder as I approached our rooms. The window was open; it was letting a draft in.

I went right to sleep.

My head throbbed and my stomach lurched with the familiar odor. The scent of blood was so strong it stung my eyes, I felt vomit rise in my throat. I felt determined; I was here for a reason. I wandered down a corridor, the air getting colder and colder, when about four cloaked men came out of nowhere. My sweaty fingers gripped my wand tightly. I looked down, there was a gold band around my finger.

“We’ve got her, we have your little girl and you need to tell us where the Potters are to get her back.”

Frantically I fought against them, trying to get my daughter back.

“I would never tell you!” I screamed as a man kicked my back, two others holding my shoulders.

“Then your little girl will meet the same fate your little friends did.”

I screamed. I saw green. Then black.

I shot straight up, screaming and sobbing at the top of my lungs. This nightmare was too real, everything about it felt too familiar. Even the men, sadly, even the scent of blood and grime. I was sweating profusely, my bedcovers gone; all of them were pooled around my bed on the floor.

I have had little parts of then nightmare reoccur a lot. Just the smell, the feeling of determination, the blinding green light, but it hadn’t gone this in to detail since the first time I had had it.

Everyone else in the room was sitting up, tiredly looking at me. I snatched my wand and hurried out of the dorm, running straight to Dumbledore.

My hair was matted down with sweat, my throat raw as if I had been screaming all night, my back throbbing. I tore down the hallway, and hurriedly said the password, then shot straight up the stairs into Dumbledore’s office.

“Miss Sterling?” he said, fully clothed and sitting behind his desk.

God does this guy sleep?

“Professor!” I gasped, a couple stray tears falling down my face.

“Miss Sterling what is it?” he said, urgently.

I explained everything, the first time I had it up to this time, and how things felt even more real this time.

“And you think these events are actually occurring?”

“No, no….I feel as if I have lived it already. Or maybe like … its coming, like it will happen in the future,” I said, trying not to sound like a blubbering idiot.

“Miss Sterling, I thank you greatly for coming to me with these dreams. For now, just try to close your mind a little before you go to sleep, but if they keep occurring or if something changes, then please, don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“One more thing, Professor,” I said, as I lifted up the back of my t-shirt, revealing the bruise, which looked fresh.

“That’s exactly where I get kicked in the dream,” I said, “and it isn’t there when I go to sleep.”

“Curious,” he said, looking at it, “and you’re sure this happens after the dream?”

I nodded vigorously.

“I don’t know…thank you Miss Sterling, you are dismissed,” he said,

“Thanks Professor,” I said, standing up.

“Oh, and Miss Sterling,” he said, eyes now twinkling, “it’s six in the morning, you may not want to go back to sleep.”

I smiled as I nodded and walked out, still reeling from the dream.

Why can’t I just dream of sugar plums?

From here on out you’re just getting older
Pick up yourself you keep getting closer
Let’s just get it started tonight
All you’ve ever wanted it’s in your eyes
Just let it take you where you want to go
Just let it tell you what you want to know
You’ve got your destination
Progress has now been made and you
Will see the way you’ve wanted it to be
We’ve Only Just Begun; Run Kid Run

A/N- This kid on Law and Order is kinda cuuuute. Why are the younger criminals always attractive? He's only kinda cute! I like his hair. Oh yeah, the chapter I should talk about the chapter. So, the nightmare reoccurs, the Cup happens a little early this year, the author has a good hair day, and Remus turns down a date.

I think that's about it. Fab song, by Run Kid Run! Really catchy, you should listen to it. Now. =] Happy Friday everyone. If it is Friday. But I'm pretty sure it is...WHATEVERR. I'm in such a good mooodd.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 11: Dear Time Traveler;
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Chapter 11: Dear Time Traveler;

“Cara are you sure you’re okay?” Emmeline asked, looking at me expectantly.

I sighed and nodded. “What was wrong with you last night?” she asked.

“I had a bad dream,” I said carefully. They’d worry and treat me like a nutcase if I told them I was convinced I was having visions of my future. No one would believe me.

“I’m FINE,” I said testily as she continued to look at me like something wasn’t.

She shook her head and grabbed her bag. “It’s getting late, we should go,” she said, glancing at the clock.

I followed her out, dreading the day already. My day had started off badly, really badly, and I still was a little shaken from it, plus my back and head were searing. And I had the feeling Dumbledore hadn’t taken me seriously until I showed him my bruise.

I slumped into a corner in our compartment on the train, everyone immediately buzzing with questions about how I was. I just shook my head, saying I was tired and that was it, and sat in pretty much silence, whilst they all held a steady conversation.

Would I be fighting You-Know-Who when I was older? Is that what this means? I’ll be married with a ‘little girl’, friends already meeting some tragic end, and still fighting? Did I ….die at the end of the dream? Green light – Killing Curse?

My head was pounding and my ears were ringing, I still felt so sick. When I closed my eyes the scent of the dungeon or wherever I was rushed back to me.

I shouldn’t let this bother me so. It’s just a nightmare. Like the silly kind I’d get when I was a kid. It’s just a pigment of my imagination. Let it go.

I shivered and pressed the side of my forehead against the glass, pulling my light jacket closer, raindrops lightly splattering the window.

I wouldn’t let my eyes close; however, I was terrified I would dream the nightmare. But sleep was overcoming my fear of nightmares, and my eyes slowly shut, and I stayed asleep for the remainder of the ride.

“Cara, Cara wake up,” Sirius said gently, kissing my cheek.

I opened my eyes, and everyone was standing, the train had stopped moving. I hadn’t had a nightmare! I smiled faintly. It was just a dream. I grabbed my things and hurried out of the compartment, following everyone else.

“HI!” Marlene squealed, hugging me tightly. From behind her stepped a certain redheaded man that made Emmeline have a fit and jump on him and kiss him like I swear no one’s been kissed before.

“Come on guys,” Marlene said, leading us towards the car.

“You are here so much, when are you going to just move in?” I asked, laughing.

“I have!” she said, grinning.

“That’s great!” I exclaimed, “Benjy too?”

“Yeah, we’re married…of course we live together.”

“MARRIED?” I shrieked.

She nodded excitedly. “It was just us two; we went away for a long weekend and ended up getting married while we were away.”

“That’s so cute,” I said, grinning as we all piled into the car.

God, its Easter break again isn’t it? Time is going by so fast.

The car pulled up in front of the house and we all got out, excited for some good, ole fashioned Sterling/Potter craziness. The arrival of Fabian lightened everyone’s mood considerably.

I excitedly rushed into my house and grabbed the first baby I saw, lifting Charlie into the air and spinning him around as he made cute little baby sounds and half-words as he laughed.

“Hey boys, why don’t you help Cal?” Marlene said, Cal meaning my mum, whose name is Calypso. That’s what you get when you’re a pureblood. A funny name.

“Yeah right,” James said as the Marauder boys looked at Marlene skeptically.

“Dinners almost ready, James, Sirius, start setting the table,” my mum said, poking her head around the corner.

“Yes Cal,” James said quickly as the boys hurried around the corner.

I burst out laughing.

“Darling, why don’t you bring Callie and Charlie out,” my dad said, grinning at me as he walked around the corner.

He’s happy. He’s not uptight, you would think the current situation outside would make him tenser, but it’s loosened him up a little.

I did as I was told with Emmeline, each of us scooped up an almost one year old and brought them outside. I grabbed Callie this time, who has the hugest, clearest hazel eyes I have ever seen.

“Look at her,” I said, bringing her over to Sirius who had put on my mum’s lavender apron.

“She looks like you,” he said, smiling. I kissed him.

“CARA, not in front of the baby,” he whispered, grinning.

I laughed as I spun the baby around, and handed her to my mum.

“You’ll make her throw up all over the place,” my mum scolded happily.

Sirius, in his lavender apron, decided he was going to take my hand and spin me around, and then dip me like there was some ballroom music playing. I looked up at him, dangling precariously in his arms, the ground very, very, very close to my head.

And I decided to lift my head up a tad to connect my lips to his, when he lost his footing because someone, (probably James,) bumped into him, sending us sprawling to the ground, laughing hysterically.

I glanced up at the picnic tables to see many people I didn’t know staring down at us.

“Oh, Cara, Sirius, I would like all of you to meet some new people,” James’s mum said cheerily, looking down like this happened every day. Sirius and I scrambled to our feet.

“This is Alastor Moody,” she said, motioning to a scary looking man, “Marlene, her parents, you know them, Benjy, his brother, Edgar Bones, Caradoc Dearborn, Arabella Figg, Dedalus Diggle, and Elphias Dodge,” she said, pointing to everyone, and some people she didn’t introduce and more arrived later.

I blushed and said hi, as they all surveyed Sirius and me, visibly amused.

“Oh, and this is Fabian’s sister, Molly Weasley, her husband Arthur, their sons, Bill and Charlie,” she continued, pointing to all the people. Molly was visibly pregnant. I remember her from school; she was a seventh year when I was a firstie.

Well. That’s always the best way to meet new people; be interrupted while snogging and then introduced to these adults. Great.

Dinner passed quite eventfully, though. There was Exploding Snap played too close to a bowl of lima beans, lots of food thrown, spilled, and eaten, and plenty of Quidditch arguments. It seemed like everyone was getting a chance to really unwind and be with friends, and be safe, I was with the best Auror of all time, Alastor Moody, what isn’t safe about that?

“Sirius, James, why don’t you boys clean up,” my mum said, as the boys quickly set to cleaning up the tables and bringing the little leftovers there were back inside as everyone remained comfortably seated outside.

“Cara, Emmeline, why don’t you girls go bring out the desserts,” my mum said, smiling as she gave us the easy job.

“Em,” I whispered as she looked over at me.

“I am supposed to meet Ryan for lunch tomorrow in Diagon Alley.”

She smacked my arm.

“What do I say to Sirius?” I asked, looking at her worriedly as I rubbed the red mark on my arm.

“Don’t lie. Does he know you are sending letters to him?”

I looked down guiltily. She smacked me again. Harder this time.

“You need to do something about that,” she said, lifting up a huge cake and carefully walking outside, sitting it down on the table effortlessly.

“I know but I feel bad,” I whispered as we reentered the house to bring out more dessert.

“Well you’ll feel worse when he finds out,” she whispered back vehemently.

I sighed. Why can’t I just tell him I am still in touch with Ryan?

Because you care so much your afraid you’ll lose him? Hurt him? Or are you secretly holding on to that shred of feelings you still have for Ryan?

I shook my head, clearing it of this stupid stuff and started shoveling cake into my mouth faster then anyone had ever seen someone shovel. This cake was good. My mum couldn’t have made it, it was too perfect. Ah, yes, Molly made it, that’s what the conversation is currently.

A warm breeze rustled the grass and leaves, and I finished my third chunk of cake. Yeah the portions I was taking couldn’t even be classified as slices, they were too large.

“Let’s swing,” Sirius said, getting up and I took his hand as we walked over to my swing that was tied to a tree branch.

I sat; he pushed me, really high, making me shriek with laughter as I used my feet to push myself higher. I screamed and shrieked, the wind whooshing in my ears and the swing going higher and higher.

“Jump!” Sirius yelled, standing in front of me.

“WHAT? No! I’ll fall and kill myself!”

“Just jump, I’ll catch you!”



“1, 2, 3!” I screamed as I jumped off the swing in midair, and fell towards him, and he caught me effortlessly, stumbling backwards a couple feet as he did so. I was laughing as I held onto him, trying not to slip from his grasp.

He put me down and we sat against the tree, still breathing heavily from all of our laughing. I picked up a dandelion, and put it in his hair, giggling.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked, looking over at him.

“Uh, Mr. Potter was going to take me into London to properly get all of my things from my house at around four. He’s finally persuaded them to let me into the actual house.”

My heart sank. That would be really hard for him, I knew. “Do you want me to go with you?” I asked, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“It’s up to you,” he said.

Selfishly, I didn’t want to just because…I was scared. A real pureblood household? They won’t recognize me either; my mum’s been disowned so I have too. Funnily enough, they didn’t disown Cody, but my brothers, sister, father, and I have been.

“Then I’ll be there for you.”

“I’m sorry you’ve made that decision,” he said, smiling bitterly.

“You’re stuck with me now,” I said, smiling at him. I didn’t think this was the best time to talk about Ryan. But it did indeed have to be done.

“So what were you planning on doing?” he asked. Canceling a lunch date, that’s what I’m doing.

“Going with you,” I said, kissing him.

Cara, you did the right thing.

I hope.

* * *

I gulped as we walked past the ornate sitting room. They carried on their tea drinking like we weren’t even in the home, and a quick glance showed me Alecto, Narcissa, Bellatrix, that Yaxely girl, and presumably their mothers, all dressed finely and bejeweled. Someone doesn’t own a pair of jeans.

This house was immaculate, and one would never know the Blacks had two sons. All traces of Sirius had been wiped from the home completely. I had never actually been in the house of dark, ancient purebloods but I didn’t like it.

Sirius’s whole demeanor had changed, his posture was perfect, he had completely almost transformed his aura into the icy one his family had. His face had darkened, and the mischievous spark in his eyes had been blown out. James had gotten angry looking, and Mr. Potter seemed to know his way around. It was just us four.

He walked straight, and pushed open a shiny, cherry wood door to reveal a huge, stately looking bedroom.

“Well,” he said, face darkening, “this used to be my room. It has all of Regulus’s stuff in it now.” He smiled bitterly, shaking his head as he turned and walked all the way down the opposite hallway, and pushed open a small, squeaky door, and we stepped into a small, cupboard like storage space.

He picked up one box. “That’s it?” Mr. Potter asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “now let’s get the hell out of here.”

My eyes lingered on a picture, among other dusty things that were in here. The picture had a lot of women in it, dressed up to be what looks like a wedding party. And there was my mum, grinning and laughing and waving, and holding a baby that had to be Cody. Then I jumped when something tapped me on the back of my leg.

The ugliest house-elf known to mankind was standing behind me, staring at me with a sadistic grin on its face.

“Mistress would not likes you staying behind,” he said, eyes yellowed and bloodshot.

“I-I was just going,” I said, turning around when I walked straight into someone.

I knew that smell. That thick, perfumey smell. Shit.

“H-hello Narcissa,” I said, looking up at her meekly. I stepped back, but careful not to go too close to the cupboard, for fear she’d lock me in.

Trouble is exactly not what I wanted in the Black household, they would have me cursed, chained and transfigured in about three seconds, I was outnumbered highly and everyone on my side was no where to be seen.


“I was just going,” I said, feeling her icy blue stare glare straight into me.

“You are in my element now, and I'd be scared if I were you,” she said, drawing herself up to her full height, her satin, crimson dress adding to her scary-lookingness. Sirius, Regulus, James, Mr. Potter, give me someone who will save me!

“Narcissa darling, what are you doing?” an even scarier, but not scary looking witch said. She was only scary because she was so mean looking and proper.

“Hello Miss,” I said politely. Her eyes flickered with recognition. So she knows my mum. You could just tell she knew who I was.

“I was on my way out, I just got a little lost,” I said, trying to sound polite and look really sorry to be in her presence.

“Down those stairs, first door to your left,” she said, her words cutting through the silence quickly. Narcissa stared me down, she watched me disappear, and I heard the two women begin to mutter.

I got down the stairs and passed Regulus on the way down, and he smiled at me, and then I got down to the front door where they were all standing, waiting for me. We walked out silently. We were headed to the Leaky Cauldron for lunch.

“What were you playing at?” Sirius said, “Wandering away in my house! You know what could have happened to you? They don’t like you much more then they like me, you know.”

“You guys left me! I stood there for two more seconds and ended up getting ambushed by an ugly house-elf, Narcissa, and then her mum! It’s not my fault everyone decided to walk away real quick and leave me!” I said, blowing my bangs out of my eyes angrily.

“You talked to Narcissa’s mum?” Sirius asked, looking at me quizzically.

I nodded. “She just gave me directions.”

“I’m surprised,” he said.

“Why?” I asked.

“You have also been disowned, even if it wasn't by my family. Malfoys are just the same. They aren’t supposed to acknowledge you, none whatsoever, you don‘t exist. Just like me, and did you see? They got rid of every trace of me in the whole bloody manor. But she took the time to give you directions. She would never have given me or James directions.”

“I know. I think she knows my mum, actually.”

“They all do.”

We opened the doors to the pub, the bell ringing overhead.

“Let’s hope we never have to go back there,” Sirius said.

“Let’s hope.”

I shivered, thinking about how Sirius had lived the first eleven years of his life somewhere so cold and distant. Is this how my mum grew up?

Not to mention how the fact that the most regal and refined House of Malfoy hadn’t disowned Cody.

I’ll approach you wand wait,
It’s been several weeks coming
And I’d give it up, give it away
To be able to tell you how I really feel
And how I’d give it up to hear you say
Cause we’re counting the seconds and minutes we’ve spent here
Can’t seem to just throw you away
When it’s all said and done dear and we’re packing out things
Will the memories keep me thinking?
Dear Time Traveler; the Scene Aesthetic

A/N- Ah! The Scene Aesthetic! Listen, enjoy, love. Good song, good song. So today swim tech started up, meaning I go to a three hour clinic every day to help me prepare for making the Swim Team next year in High School, but anyhow, I am going to be more tired and probably have a little less time to devote to doing this, because when I get home, and shower, and eat I am so tired I don't want to write but I will, so just keep in mind that even though I love this story, ou may have to wait ... maybe an extra day for an update loll. Plus, for the entire second half of August there will be no updates but I actually think I'll be done by then.

Oh, and I am beginning to rethink having a third installment. You guys still up for that? It is going to be darker and different, and if you guys don't want to ruin the image this story already has then its fine with me. Its completely up to you, I am willing to write the third part.

Chapter 11? Already? There is only going to be twenty so thats depressing too. I love Cara alot=]

So, review, lovelies.

Chapter 12: My Beautiful Rescue;
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Chapter 12: My Beautiful Rescue;

Don’t worry; I am not miffed you couldn’t make lunch. I’ll see you some other time, no doubt…

“More attacks, more raids,” Emmeline said, putting down the newspaper in front of me, as I tore my eyes away from Ryan’s letter.

“Third attack in a row,” I said, shaking my head.

“No one we know though. It was a Goblin family this time.”

“Did you know they had the Giants and some dementors going over to their side?” I asked.

“Fabian told me. The Ministry’s got itself a job trying to get all the creatures to stay with us,” Emmeline said.

Then, she got up and looked both ways, shut the door and skidded back onto the bed.

“Cara, can I confide in you the biggest secret of my entire life?”

I hope that’s sarcasm.

“Oh my God,” I thought shaking my head. Fabian and her were alone for the day. This should be good.

“We’re married.”

“WHAT?” I shrieked as she smacked her hand over my mouth.

“Yes,” she whispered, taking the chain that was wearing around her neck out from under her shirt and revealing a silver ring hung on it.

Aw. Cute. WAIT. She’s only seventeen. She is just barely an adult. He is only nineteen. She’s still in school, he’s still training.

“You call me the idiot?”

She sneered at me. Sneered. SNEERED. And not the light-hearted sneer you give one of your friends when you don’t have comeback. She actually sneered.

“You don’t have to be mean about it,” she said, “its just, that…he’s going to straight out there fighting and I was thinking about it too and well, what if we never get this chance again? We’re in love, we’re young, we’re healthy and whole and happy so why not? It was legal. And we are going to have an actual ceremony a little later on, but for now it’s just for us and a few people to know.”

“I won’t tell a single person, I promise.”

“Good, now, let’s go get lunch.”

Emmeline Prewett. Fabian Vance. They were married. Do you have any idea how big that is?

“Love!” Sirius greeted as I sat down next to him.

And just like that, my day was made.

* * *

“But you want him,” I said simply, looking up at Lily.

“No I don’t I like Alec.”

“Suuuure you do,” Emmeline said, snickering.

“No, no James is cute and he is completely in love with me, but I like Alec. Plus, James is too arrogant, you know? I’d feel like I was dating a superstar, the way everyone around here looks up to him, I might as well date John Lennon.”

“Who?” Emmeline asked.

“Never mind,” Lily said, sighing, her point missed.

Yes, it was in fact girl-talk time once again, right before bed. It’s like a ritual now. We grab some ice cream, a different flavor every night, and rehash the days events, today’s main one being Lily blushing when James asked her to be his Transfiguration partner, Alecto wearing a shade of lipstick that was definitely not right for her, and a fourth year going out with a first year, plus the normal news from the home front.

“So what the hell was with McGonagall today?” Hestia asked.

“RIGHT! She seemed so depressed and she was really…passive,” Alice said.

“Passive? Big word for you,” I teased.

“You couldn’t spell it,” she said.

“P-A-SSIVE,” I said, grinning at her.

“No really guys,” Lily said, “I wonder what’s wrong with her. You don’t think she lost someone in an attack, do you?”

“No, well I hope she didn’t,” I said. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a reasonable explanation. How sad. Ryan’s right, stunning Voldemort from behind would have saved us all some trouble.

“Hey guys, what are you naming your first baby?” Hestia asked, changing the subject completely.

“You know, I haven’t thought about it,” I said, looking up at them all thoughtfully.

“I like Thomas. Simple. But Frank’s family is one of those pureblood ones where most everyone has a funny name and his mum insists on Neville, even though we aren’t even married, she’s insisting Frank’s child be named that. So, Thomas can be his middle name and I’ll make sure everyone knows Neville is not what I want him to be called,” Alice said.

“So you’ve certainly thought about it,” I said.

“I have too,” Lily said excitedly, “I like Carolina.”

“No flower names?” Emmeline joked.

“Definitely not. When your mum’s name is Rose, her sister’s name is Iris, and your sister’s name is Petunia, you’re about ready to call your first child Stinkweed just to piss everyone off,” she said.

“Well James likes the name Arielle, so you guys can sort that out,” I said, just to push her buttons.

“Well we aren’t getting married so we don’t have to worry,” she replied, eating her ice cream.

“Yeah, but you guys could still have a baby,” I said.

“Well that baby would definitely be sexy,” Emmeline said.

"Carolina Arielle sounds pretty though," I said, insisting that James and Lily would indeed have a baby.

“What about you and Sirius?” Hestia asked, “You guys picked names yet? We all know you guys are getting married and having plenty of children.”

“Uh, no,” I said, making a face at her.

“Let’s get to bed darlings, we have classes tomorrow,” Dorcas said, kicking everyone off of her bed, as five resounding thumps sounded.

“That will bruise,” Lily said as she walked over to her bed and shut the curtains, calling goodbye to everyone.

Baby names? Already?

When did we become adults?

* * *

I stared out my window, looking up from my book momentarily. It was the hardest rainfall of the entire year, and it had been pouring since noon. And it was coming on two in the morning and the rain was falling steadily, lashing at our windows in all different directions, wind whipping it fiercely. Thunder and lightening cracked and illuminated the inky sky sporadically.

I sighed and reached for my bowl of strawberry ice cream, and ate a few spoonfuls. Everyone was falling asleep, the dorm was silent and quiet, and my well-adjusted eyes were the only ones open as I picked up my book and continued to read. I leaned my head against the wall. I was wedged in the little tiny window seat.

Bored with my story, I put the book down and wandered over to the bathroom. In vain, I hoped Sirius would be there to surprise me like he did that one time. It was late, he was probably content and asleep, but I had so much on my mind.

The attacks, Ryan, Sirius, Emmeline getting married, my birthday coming, which meant I was seventeen. An adult, with one year and one month of schooling left before I was an adult. The pressing issue of telling Sirius I loved him scared me more then anyone would really understand, and just everything going on outside of school scared me too.

Chris had gotten a response from Cody, finally. He knew nothing about mum being weird, but he did know that he was engaged to his fiancée. Is everyone afraid they’ll die before they get married? Is everyone just going to do it just to make sure they get to? How bitter and sad is that sentiment?

The air was thick, the tension, it was written on every witch and wizard’s face. You could tell that everyone was waiting for something big to happen, to officially send the two sides, good and evil, raging at each other. It was the calm before a huge storm, and I think it was beginning to get to everyone how big the storm may actually become.

How could I be an adult and grow up through all of this? It’s making me grow up faster then I should. Something is bothering my mum, even though she hid it expertly, the pointed glances at Mrs. Potter, the new guests, I am not stupid. They are anti-Voldemort people and what scares me is how many will be left for Easter dinner next year.

What will it take to bring someone like this down? A couple of right-minded wizards or years and years and someone extraordinary? Will I die fighting him; will he be the end of me? Or maybe Sirius? Is this really just the age-old Gryffindor vs. Slytherin grudge escalated tenfold?

A knock on my window, which was very close to my head, made me jump. I looked to see a familiar ebony owl. Sirius’s?

Meet me in the Astronomy Tower. It’s important.

I’m not a Death Eater, I promise.

PPS. (Or whatever a double PS is. Remus would know but he’s sleeping.)

My favorite color’s lavender

I grinned at the letter. Sirius; it’s his handwriting, and that’s his favorite color. I grabbed my bowl of ice cream and stealthily navigated my way to the Tower without getting caught by a teacher.

“Yes, my love?” I asked, as I approached him, and he smiled at me.

“Look at the rain,” he said. And I looked out the window, and the rain seemed to shimmer in the starlight. It made the gloomy storm look beautiful, being up here. Lightening cracked and I could see the actual bolt crackle through the night.

I looked at him and stuck my fingertips out of the window as I inhaled the scent of fresh rain. His hand found mine and our palms touched, still out of the window. He kissed me, and it was one of the most romantic moments to date.


“Sirius.” His eyes were on fire, dazzling with something.

“I love you,” he said as if it was he simplest thing ever, kissing me again.

“I love you too,” I said, nodding as he deepened our kiss.

What the hell was I scared of?

I’m falling more in love with every single word I withhold
I’m falling more in love with every single word you say
I’m falling head over heels for you
I’ve been dancing on the tops of buildings
At the top of my lungs I’m singing you a song;
Don’t you every leave me alone
My Beautiful Rescue; This Providence

A/N - Besides 'I Want to Sing,' I think this chapter was my favorite thing I have ever written. I just really, really, really liked this chapter even if it was short, it was sweet and some important news came. Andd I am almost positive I used this song and I checked and didn't see it but if I did tell me and I'll change it.

Swim tech is great, even if it makes me tired, for those of you who give. I am listening to August Burns Red. I like them. Anyway.

Hope you liked this chapter. Nothing else to say. OH YEAH. About the third installment. I am leaning towards it, but I still am not sure. I'll know for sure pretty soon. Well, I'll have to know pretty soon. I'm writing chapter fourteen, for God sakes!

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 13: Hallelujah;
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READ CHAPTER 12 ALSO. The chapters were added very quickly, and you may have missed last chapter. Thanks. Enjoyyy=]

Chapter 13: Hallelujah;

This is proving to be one sucky birthday. It’s May 22nd. Yes, folks, with one month to end sixth year, the weather heating up, people wading in the lake, and I am here, sitting alone, at lunch, and no one has even mentioned my birthday so far, and then no one shows up to lunch? What the hell is happening?

I should break up with him for this. Kidding, kidding, I could never do that. But I should give everyone some serious silent treatment. I mean, it’s my birthday! BIRTHDAY. I am of age now. Sure, I have one whole year and a month of school left, but I can own my own home and drink! I mean, shouldn’t this be means for some kind of celebration? A happy birthday? …Maybe just someone to eat lunch with?

So, now I’m thinking maybe I’ll get a surprise party? Or something? But these people are showing absolutely no signs at all. It’s the 22nd! They should just wish every Sterling a birthday in hopes it will be the birthday of one of them, usually it is!

I let my fork slip from my fingers and fall to the plate with a clatter. Sighing, I stood up and made my way up to the girl’s lavatory so I could pee before the rest of lessons.

“Cara!” I turned. Regulus?

“Happy Birthday!” he said, grinning as I looked both ways before throwing my arms around him.

“Thank you! At least someone remembered,” I said, smiling at him. Oh, the irony. Sirius, eat your heart out. He remembered my birthday and you didn’t? You will never, ever live this down.

I will make sure of it, sweetie.

“So do you normally lurk around girl’s lavatories waiting for unexpected girls?” I asked, smiling.

“Only looking for you,” he joked.

“I’m always waiting, baby,” I said, laughing as I walked into the lavatory, finally getting to pee.

I stepped out of the stall to see a group of girls standing around the sinks, preening themselves in the mirrors. Again. Why do I always end up cornered with them with so many different forms of torture at their disposal?

I attempted to just sneak out without them seeing me, but what kind of chance did I have of THAT working? Mhm, it didn’t work. Alecto Carrows, Narcissa Black, Something Yaxely, Something Rosier, and the rest of the Future Female Death Eater club knew I was there.

“Cara! We have to stop meeting like this doll,” Alecto said, smushing her lips together after applying some crimson lipstick to them.

“Cara, where do you think your going?” Narcissa exclaimed, turning around, mascara wand in hand, and I had the feeling she was going to try to impale me with it.

“Out?” I asked meekly.

“Guess again, darling,” Narcissa said, smiling sweetly and not breaking eye contact as she put the wand back in the mascara tube and twisted it shut. She even made something simple like that menacing.


Alecto shook her head. I gripped my wand, which was hidden in my cloak, tightly, praying I wouldn’t have to actually use it. No. Don’t kill me. Please?

And everyone in the free world must be thinking: CARA suck it up you’re a Gryffindor, for God’s sakes woman! Rub some dirt in it!

But no! I’m scared and I should be. I’m alone, and you know how easy it would be for them to stun me then drown me or body-bind me then flush my head down the toilet or better yet perform a simple shrinking spell and flush my whole body down the toilet? Myrtle, here I come.

The door opened. THANK GOD. I looked.

Another Slytherin. I gulped. Six to one?

I kept edging towards the door as we silently stared each other down.

“I must be going, Defense Against the Dark Arts, highly important class you know,” I said, waving my hand nonchalantly and walking straight for the door, “we should do this again sometime,” I added, as my hand gripped the door handle.

It locked. I looked up to see Alecto grinning evilly.

“No really, I have to go,” I said through gritted teeth, taking out my own wand and trying to unlock the door, but failing.

I faced them, wand pointed. “Truce?” I asked.

“Wrong,” Narcissa said as she sent a jet of red light towards me and I blocked it.

‘Levicorpus,’ I thought, ‘damn it I said Levicorpus!’

And Narcissa was pulled up by an invisible force, and she hung there, blonde hair skimming the grimy bathroom floor.

Godric save me I’m in for it now.

“Expelliarmus!” I yelled, Alecto’s wand flying into my grasp as I kicked Narcissa’s under a stall, and it rolled all the way to the back, underneath the toilet.

“Ta!” I yelled, deciding that one last ‘unlock’ spell would work and being right, as I yanked open the door and walked breathlessly into the hallway, just as the bell rang to go to the next class. I grinned, proud of myself.

I sat down, still flushed and rather happy with myself after the last ten minutes of my life, and predictably, my thoughts wandered to Regulus while my eyes stayed locked on the Professor, trying not to make eye contact with Lily, Sirius, James, or Emmeline, all of which I knew were looking at me.

Twenty minutes later, that Something Yaxely girl came into class, muttering to the Professor as she handed her pass over, sneering at me as I waved cheerfully. Stupid girl, she’s the only one in this class I was just with, and she has the guts to come?

That was a tad conceited.

I was going to ignore my friends for as long as I could, since they hadn’t said Happy Birthday, or really anything to me. I knew I was being rude and selfish and unfair but so was them forgetting my birthday, so I inwardly shrugged, I had successfully convinced myself that I was not doing anything wrong.

The bell rang and class ended, and the rest of them pass quietly, and I actually think I absorbed some knowledge in class today. I did find out that since the 5th & 7th years took exams next week we wouldn’t have to go to class.

I probably would have missed that helpful factoid if I had been chatting to someone, which presumably, I would have been.

Friday! Today is a Friday, someone do the Friday dance with me!

Now someone do the slow, sad, Friday-is-Cara’s-birthday-and-they-all-forgot dance with me.

I collapsed on my bed, directly after dinner, which, by the way, had held the dreaded, horrible small-talk between friends no one really likes.

“Cara!” Emmeline exclaimed, running up to me, “Clyde’s been missing all night. Come look for him? I’m sending out search parties,” she said, smiling. I sighed and nodded, and grabbed my wand and set out looking for this bloody cat.

Why am I doing this? Because she’s your bestest friend and her cat is missing and you love your own cat dearly and would want her to look for yours. Yeah, that sounds about right.

Well, I never realized how eerie walking around Hogwarts completely alone is when you know you have six Slytherin girls that would kill you if they got the chance. It was like I expected to see them lurking around every corner. No, I did expect that, that is exactly when I seem to meet them.

I heard a meow! An amazing, wonderful, meow!

Relief washed over me as I prayed to Godric it was actually Emmeline’s cat as I lit my wand and walked into a room, calling for Clyde.

“SURPRISE!” Oh how very cliché of you! You shouldn’t have, I mean, really you shouldn’t have. I’m still in a very not happy, deliberate and sarcastic mood, but none of you would know that because you have been ignoring me all day.

I smiled even though every pore of my face was telling me to just go, ‘Oh, Clyde’s not in here? See you then,’ but I looked and saw how wide everyone was grinning and how happy everyone looked and I just couldn’t bring myself to be so mean.

So instead I leaped on top of Sirius and smothered him in kisses and then leaped on every one of my friends as well. How did I not notice I was walking into the Room of Requirement, and how did I not notice that no one else was around and how did I not notice that Clyde was sitting there on the table nonchalantly?!

I kept smiling and laughing and thanking everyone as the music started to play and everyone gravitated towards their friends, a member of the opposite sex, or the liquor table.

Every Gryffindor in fifth year and above, my brothers, their friends, and some random people Lily and them must know were there, enjoying themselves.

“You were so adorable when you were trying to ignore me,” Sirius said, bending over and talking straight into my ear, like most do while music is blaring. He was behind me, and unknowingly giving me goosebumps.

I looked at him, hair flopping over his eyes adorably. “I’m always cute,” I said, smiling.

“Damn right,” he said, kissing my cheek and my neck and everywhere except my lips because I was still drinking. I bowed out of his grasp and turned to face him.

“You’re kinda sexy when you’re trying to get my attention,” I said.

“I’m always kinda sexy.”

“Damn straight,” I teased, actually kissing him this time, and within a few more sips and a couple minutes, I found myself in the same position once again. Over-thinking, over-analyzing, and letting my hormones think for me.

Never a good pastime.

“CARA! Cara,” someone gasped, uncontrollably giggling.

I stopped what I was doing to look at the interrupter. Emmeline Vance (Prewett?) had interrupted my heated, uncontrollable snog session. I knew I loved her for some reason.

“Em, how many have you had?” I asked, looking at her.

“Eleven…eight…three…sixteen…forty…no, seventy?” she asked, giggling again as she looked at Sirius.

“Cara,” she whispered loudly, covering the side of her mouth with her hand, “I think he likes you.”

“Yeah I think so too,” I whispered back.

“I am going to go play with the monkey,” Emmeline called, walking tipsily over to the other side of the room.

I looked at Sirius and burst into a laughing fit.

“She needs my help,” I said, smiling.

He captured my lips in another kiss, and I kissed him back. I stumbled backwards, landing on a chair.

“She needs your help now?” he asked.

“Later,” I said, pressing my lips to his again.

Later on, after a few more rounds with Sirius, I eventually found Emmeline. She was seated with all of the fifth year boys, giggling at their jokes.

“Sorry boys, she’s all mine,” I said, pulling her up and out of there and putting my arm around her shoulder, carefully leading a overly giddy Emmeline towards the door.

“I need a secret passage, something to get her to the dorms,” I muttered, shutting my eyes and thinking, hard. I opened my eyes.

I didn’t want that.

My eyes were met with James and Lily snogging in a corner. I sighed, shaking my head. Got a knack for cheating, eh Lil? Ouch, Cara, still bitter about that, are we?

She will regret this when she sees Alec tomorrow and he will too, believe it or not, James will regret putting her through any drama whatsoever. But for now, they can be happy. I guess. Even if it is alcohol-induced happy.

A passageway appeared and I led Emmeline through it and to bed in her own room, the good friend that I am.

Ha. She is lucky to have me.

If only time flew like a dove
We gotta make it fly faster then I’m falling in love
This time we’re not giving up
Let’s make it last forever; screaming “Hallelujah!”
We’ll make it last forever
Holding onto patience, wearing thin
I can’t force these eyes to see to the end
If only time flew like a dove
We could watch it fly and just keep looking on.
Hallelujah; Paramore.

A/N- I know this update came real soon and all, but I am probably not going to be on all day tomorrow because I am unexpectedly going down the shore like every other benny does the fourth of July and I wouldn't have been able to get this to you untl probably Thursday around four. So, I figured, since it was done, I would update. The consequence of this is me needing time to finish up fourteen, which is about 80% done. So, here you go and please enjoy?

Credit to one of the best female vocalists out there on the scene currently. This song is amazingg. Oh, and the updates will probably come more quickly next week, cause I don't know if I am doing swim tech next week. Cheers ;)

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 14: Coffee Shop Soundtrack;
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Chapter 14: Coffee Shop Soundtrack;

Two letters from Ryan Bell in one day makes Cara a happy girl.

Two pleasant letters, one delayed, one about his first professional match, which he scored the points to put them ten ahead so the Seeker could catch the snitch in. So, without Ryan they couldn’t have won. And he is getting to be very good friends with Ludo Bagman, the debonair blonde beater for the Wasps. So that’s good too.

The only thing unpleasant about the letters was him telling me he’s scared, which unsettled me just because I hate when guys are frightened too, I would rather have had him say something about how it will all work out, but instead he said that things were bad, and he was afraid they wouldn’t get any better, hence me getting unsettled. He is not supposed to be scared too.

The sun was high in the sky by the time I had shown my face to the world, I had gotten up, read letters, written Ryan one very long, six page response, showered, and taken my time getting ready. It was the first O.W.L. day and the first N.E.W.T. day, and a NO CLASS day for us sixth years.

I smiled as I looked at the letters and stuffed them in my silver box that kept every letter I had ever received here at school, since first year. Every note sent to my parents, every reprimanding letter, and every cheerful letter from Marlene, it was quite an impressive stack of paper.

Tightly, I pushed the top onto the box and placed it in its spot and then glanced out the window. The reflection of the sun off the lake was dazzling, and I smiled just looking at it.

Yesterday had been my party, and I knew the after-effects, the hangovers, the post-party-drama would all set in the second I stepped out and was informed of what everyone really did last night.

Sure enough, I was ready to leave, fresh as a daisy, when Lily tore in, crying and throwing a fit, with all of our friends closely trailing behind her.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” I asked, sitting down and watching her.

“Alec is not happy,” she said, pacing. I told her she’d get married to James. I told her. One snog, that’s close enough! But now we have to deal with the effects of our drunken actions, or rather, hers. I did nothing wrong.

“How do you feel about James?” I asked her bluntly, “do you like him more then Alec?”

She looked down guiltily. “No,” she said finally, sighing, “he’d be no good for me, and I like Alec. I do.”

“Yes but what will you do when Alec’s gone next year? And you’ll be Head Girl I’m sure, James will still be a stud…and then what?” I asked.

She stomped her feet. “I don’t wanna like James! I was drunk, it shouldn’t count,” she pouted.

“A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,” I offered.

“Shut the hell up,” she said, slamming the bathroom door.

“Yeah, that one definitely needs a bubble bath,” I said seriously as all the girls smiled, and the bath started running in the bathroom as if on cue.

“Anyone up for lunch?” Dorcas asked, as we all stood up, and headed out.

Ah, the scent of drama. Truth be told, it happens to be one of my favorites.

* * *

It’s not really supposed to be this cold during the summer. I mean really, its freezing! During the day I was sweating the second I stepped out of my house, then the moon came out, it started drizzling and now I am walking around in a sweatshirt. Well, his sweatshirt. I was with Sirius, I might add, around the lake, legs bare and shaking. His hand was firmly in mine as we walked, silently, just sort of romantically enjoying everything.



“I am an adult,” I said, grinning, “And your not.”

“Anything we do is considered rape.” I laughed. Stop laughing, rape isn’t funny.

“Then let’s make sure we don’t do anything,” I joked.



“Would you do anything?” A knot formed in my stomach. Sex. It rears its head, which is growing uglier by the second.

I looked into his eyes, and clearly said, “No, I am not ready.”

He grinned. “What?” I said. He isn’t going to make fun of me and call me a kid, is he? No, it’s Sirius, he loves you and he wouldn’t.

“I am not ready either,” he said, “to tell you the truth, I always thought you were. All those times…I was always a tad worried.”

“Seriously?” I started laughing. He thought I was the one who wanted to go further? He was nervous? I never would've known...

“Dead serious. I thought you wanted to take some more steps and I was always nervous.”

“You never seemed it. I was so nervous – I thought you were the one who wanted it.”


“Sirius Black, we are more alike then the average people are.” He grinned and stopped, kissing me.

Ah, bliss.

Can my entire life be like this?

We stopped, and he hugged me. I pressed my face into his chest, never wanting to leave this spot. It was perfect, but something, a shred of trepidation, a gut instinct told me that this wouldn’t last for long. I shivered; he thought it was because of the cold. He held me tighter. I suppressed the nervous, the inexplicable anxiousness.

I didn’t like this. Why, all of the sudden, did I feel like every time we hugged it would be our last?

Because the reality of the war was setting in at the worst possible time. Summer, we were going out into the real world, Hogwarts is safe, I hate to say it, but home isn’t so safe anymore. Then we go to school for a year, nine months, give or take, then we are adults and we have to deal with everything on our own, without the walls of the castle.

Tears prickled my eyes.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asked.

“I love you so much. And I’m scared,” I sniffed.

The second I said it, Ryan's faced popped into my mind's eye. Shit. Get. Away. I don't want to think about you.

He kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry. I’ll be there, no matter what.”

And so the knot within my stomach loosened, but a new one formed.

* * *

I sighed, contentedly scanning the horizon. I was wading in the lake, at around five, with just the Marauders, everyone else was preoccupied. We had been doing this for an hour now and I was beginning to get cold.

“GOTCHA!” James yelled as he splashed a huge amount of water at Peter, sending him stumbling.

Everyone was splashing and soaking wet, and tiredly I walked up to the tree and sat down. I dove into Sirius’s sweatshirt for warmth.

“Guys come sit!” I called, grinning as they came up by me.

“Remember first year?” I asked, staring at the castle, “when everything, everyone was so new and different?”

“No one knew what they were doing, especially people like Lily. But we all had so much to learn,” Remus said.

“I loved first year,” Sirius said.

“So did I, but I got this secret present from my mum, she gave me a couple extra galleons because I got sorted into Gryffindor,” I said, smiling at the memory of her slipping them into my room one night.

“And now everything is so different,” James said thoughtfully, “so much darker, tenser sort of.” We nodded in agreement.

"We all had so many firsts here," I said.

"NO! Not that first," I said, smacking James for raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“I remember when you first went out with Ryan,” James said, changing the subject, “none of us liked him. We thought he was too old, like he was taking advantage of you.”

I pouted. “It wasn’t that big of a difference,” I said stubbornly. They exchanged glances, the kind I hate where no one believes you but they aren’t going to say anything but you know they want to.

You know?

“I’m glad you don’t talk to him anymore,” Peter said, as everyone nodded.

My insides felt tight and cold. I swallowed. “Yeah,” I said, looking out at the water.

“He is a git,” Sirius said. My eyes fell upon Remus.

He knew.

I could just tell.

Remus Lupin knew, and I didn’t like the way this would turn out.

Make all of my decisions for me,
I’ve never taken the fall for deceit,
I’ll keep a secret if you keep me guessing,
The taste of your lips says we shouldn’t have met like…
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing,
The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me pressing
For more then just a moment of truth between the lies told,
To pull ourselves away from the lives we leave back home.
I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing,
The flavor of your lips is enough to keep me here.
Coffee Shop Soundtrack; All Time Low.

A/N- Sighhh. I love that song. All Time Low is simply godly. You know what else is godly? RIOT. Yes, the amazing new cd by (from?) Paramore. I borrowed it to download, and I am getting to the point where I have to keep myself from kissing it goodnight. Seriously.

Short chapter. Sorry. And I am so exhausted. One more week after this until I get a break for a while. Smile with me, I will finally get to sleep normally, no more waking up at the ungodly hour of seven.

Its cold. My airconditioners up too high.

Oh, so about the chapter. UH. I liked this one. Next one...uhm...guys...don't hate me. Okay? I don't want any angry mobs, (one-woman mobs count too,) haha, so please?

Read I Want to Sing, by me.

It doesn't have a banner. HINT. HINT.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 15: Here I Stand;
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Chapter 15: Here I Stand;

“Remus!” I said cheerily, sitting down in front of him in the library. He was alone, and this was the perfect time.

May I remind you that he knew my secret, yes; he knew that I was talking to Ryan. Why? I know Remus Lupin, I know him better then he thinks I know him and I know when he knows something. You know?

“Cara! Good to see you,” he said, setting down his quill.

“Can I talk to you?” he asked.

“It’s what I’m here for.”

“I know your talking to Ryan.”

I told you so. I sighed, slowly. “No one understands.”

“Understands what?” Remus asked. If there is one thing I love about this boy, it’s that he is smart. And he is an excellent listener. He is the one person, more so then Emmeline that I know would keep a secret. Maybe because I’ve kept his, he knows he should keep mine?

“No one really gets how much he means to me. He’s grown so much since he’s cheated on me, and I think it was good we weren’t together anyway. He hurt me, but I had people there for me and I got over it. Forgive and forget. No one else seems to be able to. And I probably wouldn’t either, but something about him keeps me drawn to him. Did you know, I was supposed to meet him for lunch? Over the holidays. I cancelled so I could go with Sirius.”

“It’s obvious you care about him. But do you have romantic feelings for Ryan?”

….Do I?

I shook my head. “No. No, I don’t.”

“Don’t convince yourself.”

“Is that what I’m doing?”

“Let’s hope not,” Remus said, his hazel eyes burning into mine.

“When do you plan on telling Sirius about Ryan?” Remus asked.

“I do plan on it…I just don’t…”

“Don’t what?” Sirius said. I shut my eyes tightly. He was behind me. FREAKIN BEHIND ME. For how long?

He looked pissed.

Remus looked at me sympathetically. I turned to completely face Sirius, and he looked angry. But hurt. And disappointed. And that’s what bothered me most. Disappointment.

“What about Ryan?” Sirius whispered through gritted teeth. Let’s not have a screaming match in the library. Don’t do this to me, baby. Everyone’s already staring. Please, no.

“What about him?” he asked, voice rising a level.

“I have been talking to him. Through letters.” His expression didn’t change.

“For how long?” he asked.

I couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Months,” I said softly.

“ABOUT WHAT?” he exploded. I held my forehead in my palm and fought off tears of pure embarrassment, and the fact that I had hurt him. I could tell.

“Everything,” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully.

“Did everyone know besides me?” he asked, words piercing my ears.


“Emmeline no doubt, Remus, who else? They knew and didn’t tell me? YOU knew and didn’t tell me?” he asked, looking at me.


We took one look at Madame Pince, dangerously brandishing a feather duster, and got out of that library so fast we were probably a blur. Breathlessly, we arrived in the hallway, and Sirius rounded back to me.


I heard a group of people coming down the stairs behind us and saw, thankfully, everyone. Our friends. Dorcas, Em, Alice, Lily, Hestia, James, and Peter. Remus was standing with us awkwardly.

“Well what?” James asked, as everyone grouped around us, like they were awaiting a brawl.

“Nothing,” I said.

“Something,” Sirius countered. Emmeline sighed, shaking her head. She knew what this was about.

“Its not like you even told me properly – I caught you talking to HIM about it, about when you should tell me; like I deserved to be the last one to know.”

“Know what?” Peter asked.

“Cara talking to Ryan,” James said.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?” Emmeline and I shrieked in unison. I turned my eyes to Remus and he shook his head, putting his hands up innocently.

I had created a mess, a huge, sloppy, wet, disgusting, mess.

“You were talking to Ryan?” Hestia asked.

“Yeah, she was,” Lily said.

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?” I shrieked again.

I turned to glare at James stonily, he avoided my eyes guiltily. Since when do him and Lily even talk?!

My head was pounding. “So Cara, what’s it gonna be? Me or Ryan?” Sirius asked.

“You’re giving me an ultimatum? I thought our relationship meant more to you then this!” I exploded.

“And I thought it meant more to you as well,” he said back, looking hurt. My heart seared with guilt. I wanted to dissolve into the ground and take it all back. Everything I ever did to deserve this. Our relationship seems to be nothing but arguing and cute, romantic moments that leave too quickly.

I had noticed that the girls had gravitated towards me and the boys towards Sirius. So its gonna be a boys vs. girls battle, is it? At least someone’s on my side.

“You,” I said, “it will always be you.”

“You don’t act like it. Frankly, I don’t believe you,” he said icily.

“I’m sorry.”

“That does nothing.”

“Sirius, I care about him; I can’t shut him out completely, I can’t shut him out at all. But who cares? As long as I am coming back to you, because I love you.”

“Coming back to me? Like I am some sort of second?”

“No, you don’t get it,” I said, shaking my head.

“You need to start explaining then,” Sirius said.

“Why can’t you just believe me when I say you’re the only one for me?”

“Because I am obviously not!”

“You are an IDIOT!” Emmeline cut in, “Cara loves you and its obvious, your just being too protective of her.”

“You better shut up, Vance.”

She looked at Sirius like he had smacked her in the face. When you anger The Vance, you are in for it. Seriously, and he had angered her.

“That was uncalled for,” Lily said fiercely.

“You stay out of it too!” Sirius said loudly.


“He has the right to!” James cut in.

“Who asked you?” I said acidly.

“Don’t talk to my friends that way,” Sirius said mockingly, sneering distastefully at me.

I couldn’t control it. I hated his temper, when he gets mad he gets mean. I let one tear slide down my face before I slapped Sirius’s face as hard as I could and stomped out of the hallway, every other girl coming with me.

“What an asshole,” was all I could whisper before I started crying harder then my breath could catch up with me.

Something told me I had lost him.

* * *

Later that day, I was on my way down to get some serious desserts from the kitchens when I ran into someone.

“Remus!” I exclaimed, “you scared me.”

I didn’t know how I should feel about him. He didn’t tell Sirius, he didn’t’ tell anyone. He didn’t stick up for me, but he shouldn’t have, he would’ve had all of his best friends angry with him if he had. He was fine. I had nothing against him.

“Mind if I go with you to the kitchens? I need some chocolate myself.”

“Sure Remus,” I said, desperately trying to sound cheerful as he fell into step next to me.

“Remus, you said you had feelings for someone else when I was in the Hospital Wing….but who is she?” I asked.

“Someone amazing,” he said softly as I tickled the pear.

“Who is she?”

I studied his clear eyes intently.

“She’s you,” he whispered, too close to me. And then, he kissed me.

Which was the most un-Remus-like thing he has ever done.


I was in shock as he broke away from me.

“Shit,” he muttered as Sirius stared at us, from inside the kitchens, looking dumbfounded.

“Sirius. Sirius STOP!” I screamed as he grabbed Remus’s shoulders and threw him backwards, punching him.

I was screaming at Sirius to stop, screeching and the house-elves were having a fit. I was beside myself. He should really stop this, very soon. Fighting isn’t the way this is going to be sorted out.

I didn’t want to jump between them, but I was sure they’d stop, and they did.

I grabbed Sirius’s shoulders and pushed him, hard. “If you are going to go around pummeling your best friends you aren’t the men I thought you were,” I said, storming out of the kitchens and straight into Professor McGonagall.

Students aren’t allowed in the kitchens. We aren’t even supposed to be out of our dorms this late.

Peachy. God, I need a freakin’ bubble bath.

“Evening Professor,” I said cheerily. Just then, Remus and Sirius came out of the Kitchens one after another as well, stopping their argument when they saw me in my predicament.

“Detention, now.” Professor McGonagall said simply.

I groaned as we followed her up to her office. Now? Since when do teachers do this?

She pointed to three seats. “I want you to outline the entire chapter six in the Transfiguration textbooks.” With a wave of her wand, parchment, quills, and books appeared for us.

She breezily left the room. Slowly, I began to take the notes.

“You’re bleeding,” I said, looking over at Sirius.

“Don’t talk to me.”

“You’re real mature,” I said, glaring at him.

“Look, Sirius – I shouldn’t have, but you know I have fancied Cara since second year, I couldn’t help it.”

I looked at Remus unbelievingly. So they all liked me at once? Is it wrong if my ego is inflating hearing that?

I put my head in my hands. “You need to work it out with Sirius, Remus. He doesn’t understand that I love him and he is the only one, he is insecure about it and it’s something he is going to have to work at. Until then, I am going to have to wait,” I said, glancing over at Sirius who was staring at the parchment with his quill forgotten, head in his hands. Tears burned my eyes again and I refused to show weakness.

Though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I silently finished the notes, put them on McGonagall’s desk, and left without them. I couldn’t control myself with them any longer. I was going to throw myself at Sirius and pummel him until he understood, that or cry alone until he came over, both were fighting their way out of me at once.

No one was in the Common Room, and I went into the dorm to see the girls all smiling at me encouragingly.

“Take a bubble bath,” Hestia said.

“We got it all ready for you,” Alice said.

“You need one,” Lily added.

Despite everything, I smiled weakly and nodded, going straight into the steamy, perfumed bathroom, to see a bath full of bubbles. I shut the lights, leaving it dark, just the moonlight flooding in from the window.

Slowly, I slipped into the water, which burned my skin as I shut my eyes.

Remus had kissed me. It set in. I didn’t want it, I felt nothing. I thought of Sirius the second it happened. Did Sirius know that? I doubt he would even listen. He is SO stubborn, and hard-headed and fiery and ugh, so perfect.

I felt so bad about the whole thing; it had been a mess, a nightmare. I felt my insides burn when I thought about it, the guilt was immense. Should I stop talking to Ryan? Just tell him the truth? Stop replying? Ignore his letters when he gets worried?

I didn’t know what to do. First, I needed to get Sirius to believe me, or at least look me in the eyes. Are we still together? Was that just a really bad fight, or the end of our relationship? If it didn’t end it, did it doom our relationship, or could it possibly have strengthened it?

My head was throbbing so painfully, I almost passed out in the water.

* * *

Today has been one of the worst days in my entire Hogwarts career. Today was the day of dirty looks, snide comments, and not a single Marauder saying two words to me, not even Remus, who didn’t say anything to anyone.

And it seems to me like Gryffindor has been split, people have begun to take sides. The fight is only a day old, and people are regarding it as so much more. The only thing that made me happy all day was the fact that Sirius didn’t flirt back with any other girl.

School was over in less then a week, and I wasn’t even looking forward to summer at this point. Ryan’s latest letter laid unopened on my night table; every time I looked at it guilt stabbed my insides. It stayed there as a reminder of what I had let happen.

Sighing, as the bell rang, I walked towards the door of the Charms classroom, James and Sirius stepping in front of me and walking out. Emmeline shot me a sympathetic look as everyone headed for dinner.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asked.

“No, I think I am going outside. I need a few minutes – a couple – maybe an hour to myself,” I said, watching the back of Sirius’s head bitterly.

“Go ahead, I’ll smuggle you back a biscuit.”

“Okay,” I said, returning her smile.

I walked straight to where the brooms were stored and picked mine up, speeding off into the sky before I was even seated on the broom properly. If there is one thing that could somewhat relax me, it would be flying. Without a doubt.

For a while I sped around the pitch, higher then usual, watching the illuminated castle as dusk began to fall around the grounds. A few clouds marred the perfect sky, and the thin moon was visible. I dove towards the ground for the fun of it, and then rocketed towards the sky dangerously.

Only then did I notice that someone was sitting in the stands watching. My heart leapt – Sirius? No, Regulus? Curious, I touched down on the ground in front of him.


“Nice flying,” he said.

“Bad pick-up line,” I said back. He grinned. I put my broom down and sat down next to him.

“I heard about what happened between you and my brother.”

“Who hasn’t?” I shot back moodily.

“I could give you some advice about my brother.”


“When he cares about a person, like really, truly cares, nothing will stop him from helping them. Nothing. He reguards those he loves above anything else in the world. He is loyal and determined. And you are someone he really cares about.”

I looked at Regulus. It was hard for me to believe that they were brothers, that they had lived together, that they were raised by the same people.

“He is going to come off a little strong at first, but it’s only because he’s afraid he’ll lose you. But if you do something to hurt him, it will hurt him ten times more then the normal person would, just because he cares so much,” Regulus continued, staring straight ahead. A warm breeze ruffled his hair a little.

“And here is the one piece of advice you’ll need to be able to be successful with my brother: You have to let him come to the conclusion on his own. It may take him a little longer, but he’ll realize where you’re coming from, and forgive you for it.”

“Thank you so much Regulus,” I said, hugging him tightly.

“Quickly, go,” he said, as I nodded and grabbed my broom and kicked off, hard as he walked in the opposite direction, and we looked like we didn’t know the other existed as a few Slytherins popped out of nowhere.

Regulus’s words echoed through my mind like a broken record. Everything he had said. He had been so right, he knew Sirius so well even if Sirius didn’t want to know him. And no matter what, Regulus really did still care about him, he was just less brave.

As I fell asleep later that night, one thing had been made all too clear for me. That what I had with Sirius was so real that it wasn’t going away for a while, no matter what happened to us.

No matter what.

My life without you in it
Is a life that’s not worth living
I’ll be strong but I wish I was someone else
Anyone but me tonight.
Here I stand, all alone tonight
And I wish I was strong enough to breathe
Without you in my life.
Here I Stand; Madina Lake.

A/N- If submissions hadn't been closed, I could have gotten you this chapter about 18 hours sooner. But I was able to put some finishing touches on it. So let's get this out of the way so I can move onto much more pressing matters : Madina Lake is good, listen to them, I lovee this chapter, don't hate me.

Okay, so now we can talk about some important stuff.

I wrote through chapter seventeen last night and realized - the plot would be so much better off if I closed the story at just eighteen chapters. Now, I have done this to you guys before, and I am so sorry but its nessecary. This story is taking on a life of its own, and my plot outlines have a ton of scribbles, but this ending was always always always planned.

And, instead of writing chapter eighteen because, quite frankly, I didnt want this sequel to end, I wrote the first chapter of the trilogy, and I really think the trilogy is in fact happening. I am currently planning on a 15 - 18 chapter sized story to explain absolutely everything that goes on in Cara's life.

But, I am so so so so sad to think about this story ending, I have written so many pages, over two hundred on word at this point, unraveling this story and I am so proud of it. But so anxious to think about it ending.

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 16: This Is A Suitable Valedictory;
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Chapter 16: This Is A Suitable Valedictory;

“Where the hell am I?” Emmeline said loudly, rubbing her eyes as she looked around the dorm room. We all slowly woke up to see what was going on; we still had two hours before we actually had to get up. My breath caught in my throat. Roses. Everywhere.

Everyone looked at the bouquet closest to them. Roses for every girl, along with an apology note from the boys. I smiled. They really did love us all.

“Cara, you have to go talk to him after this,” Alice said, grinning.

“This is amazing,” Dorcas said.

“So sweet,” Hestia said.

“Sickeningly,” Lily muttered as she walked towards the bathroom.

Still in pajamas, hair not combed, I walked into the Boy’s Dorm quietly. All the boys were angelically sleeping, and snoring lightly. I sat down on Sirius’s bed, the last one all the way down, and started to watch him sleep. His face was still, and serene, and he looked damn sexy. His chest rose steadily, and I continued to watch him lay there.

After some inner-debating about whether I should or shouldn’t, I lied down next to him, and shut the curtains around us. I turned my gaze to the scarlet coverings above us, and he stirred.

He looked at me and smiled faintly.

“Forgive me?” I said weakly.

“Always,” he said, pulling me into his arms. He didn’t have a shirt on, and all I had on was an itty-bitty tank top and little shorts; which made me feel like we were doing something dangerous as our bare skin touched.

“I love you,” I said, looking into his eyes sincerely, and he kissed me.

“I love you more then you will ever know,” he said, as I buried my face in his chest.

I knew later on that day we would end up talking about it, but for now I was fine where I was. I was where I had always belonged. And slowly, we fell back asleep.

“Sirius! Wake up – OY!”

Three boys were standing around the bed, hangings pulled back, unbeknownst to us two, who were sound asleep. I opened my eyes tiredly, and Sirius sat up.

“Morning boys,” I said, smiling at them all.

“We’re sorry,” they all said in unison.

“I am too – and I forgive you guys.”

“GROUP HUG!” Peter shouted as Sirius grabbed me quickly and soon three more people were all piled on top of me. Remus seemed to be fine, which surprised me, but hey, with these boys, I will always be surprised. We were all laughing and making attempts at tickling each other while piled haphazardly.

And here I was, smothered in boys that I loved more then life itself, made me feel like anything could be fixed, and that I would always have them here for me. I think this was the best start to the last day of classes I had ever had.

* * *

“Can we talk about everything?” Sirius asked anxiously.

“Definitely,” I said, looking over to him. We were in our free period, and I was so happy he had brought it up.

“Look, I was disappointed in you, I am really sorry I came off so strong,” Sirius said, “and I am sorry I pummeled Remus. And I am sorry I jumped to the conclusion that the kiss was something you both wanted.”

“I understand how hard it is for you Sirius, I really do,” I said, smiling at him, “you deserve more credit then I give you.”

“I love you, you know,” he said.

“I know. And you know; I love you more then anything else.”

“Promise?” he said.

“Forever,” I said, kissing him as the bell rang and we left for class.

* * *

“What’s that?” I asked James curiously at lunch.

“AHEM,” he said, catching the attention of our little group, “I have something to inform you all of.”

“Shoot,” I said, looking at him.

“I have in my hands, a time capsule!” he exclaimed.

“So?” Emmeline joked, as everyone chuckled.

“Ha. Your funny. NOT. So anyway, tonight, at exactly 8:03, June 23rd, 1976, we are going to bring something we want stored in here. And we are going to bury it. And ten years from now, in 1986 when we are all 27 and old and boring, we are going to meet at the place we buried it and dig it up!” he said excitedly.

“One question. Why 8:03?” Hestia asked.

“I have my reasons,” he replied.

“And, it could be anything?” I asked.

“Nothing alive, but anything, because it can all be shrunken using a charm Mr. Lupin here has offered to perform for all of us,” James said.

“I’m so there,” Lily said as everyone agreed.

“Oh, and everyone has to write a letter,” James added, “in addition to what they put in the time capsule. You have to write a letter about anything, but make it meaningful. Okay guys?”

We nodded in agreement, excitement growing in the pit of my stomach.

Hours later, it was four thirty and it was the space between classes and dinner that everyone usually just uses to take their time between classes and maybe squeeze in five minutes to finish up an assignment before they head eagerly down to dinner.

But I was determinedly sprawled out on the floor, muggle pen in hand, and writing this letter.

Dear Future,

I am pretty sure this is the best idea dear James has ever managed to think of, and I am so glad everyone agreed to it.

Well, I don’t know how any of this is going to work, whether we’ll be reading them aloud later or just stuffing them in the capsule but I want to properly introduce myself and everything.

My name is Cara Elaina Sterling and I am in love.

Sirius Black is the best thing that has ever happened to me and he stuck with me through some of the biggest mistakes I have ever let happen to me. He has sexy darker hair, with these brilliant eyes and tan skin, but he is so much more then dead sexy looks.

He is perfect, he is stubborn and loyal and sweet and romantic and funny and everything and anything anyone and everyone could ever want in a boyfriend, a person, and more importantly, a friend.

The last few days have been rough on our relationship, but I am thrilled to let you all know that we are more in love then ever, thank you very much. I have screwed what we have up so many times, and I am so happy to let you all know that he is caring and thankfully, forgiving.

Our relationship has been an amazing whirlwind for me, and he made this year, sixth year, 1976, one of the best I have ever experienced. I am an adult now, and he will be there when I decide I don’t want to be anymore, and we will be there for each other as we try to act it.

Times are dark, horribly so, and I have this horrid feeling they aren’t getting any better, but when I’ve got him with me nothing in the world will effect me, I am safe and whole.

But enough about him, these are things I won’t forget. I want to talk about some other stuff.

Like my friends.

James Potter and Emmeline Vance are the two best ones I will ever, ever wish for. They are loyal and kind and funny and exactly what I need to survive. Lily, Remus, they are close behind, and Peter, Dorcas, Alice, Hestia, you guys will always be in my heart too. We made a good bond here, I think, one that will last us through whatever Voldemort has to throw at us.

Cody, Chris, Connor, Callie, and Charlie, you guys are my family, my blood and even though we are all different, (as the Sorting Hat has let us know,) you can always count on me being here for you.

Calypso, mum, you are my mother, that’s all I have to say, I couldn’t live without you and you know it. Everything I have been, everything I will become, everything I am and everything I know has stemmed from you and I thank you for it.

I could write forever about you guys, but there are other things that have to be taken into consideration.

In ten years I hope to be doing something concerning Muggle Studies/Interactions, because I have found that that fascinates me most, and I sincerely hope with every fiber of my being I will also be doing something productive when it comes to the War. I want to be a wife and a mother by the time I am 27 as well. And I want to see Voldemort gone, too.

I hope to witness or be a part of a miracle. I hope to have every day of my life be spent with the ones I love. I hope to never have a day go by without laughing, and I hope my life will be one that serves an important purpose.

I could write pages and pages and pages and pages but I won’t because I think this all that has to be said. My hopes, my dreams, and the people who should be mentioned have been. And guys, I really am not this serious in real life. Promise.

Cheers, darlings.


The fabulous, amazing, sarcastic, witty, beautiful, intelligent, clever, ambitious, lovely, helping, brave, kind, sweet, loyal, patient (…maybe not so much…), overall amazing,

Cara Elaina Sterling (and hopefully) Black.

Lily, I will be there to say 'I told you so' when you marry James.

Smiles, hugs, and kisses.

I smiled down at my letter and folded it neatly. I looked around my room for something I wanted to put into the time capsule.

I took the picture we had all gotten into on New Years Eve, the notes Sirius had sent me, including the one asking me to go up to the place where he said he loved me, I took a picture of just me and Sirius, just me and Emmeline, and some assorted things from me and James’s early mischief making career.

Feeling accomplished, I went down to dinner, and before I knew it, it was 8:03 and we were all sitting under the tree by the lake.

“Okay guys,” James said, taking out the time capsule, “take all but the letters and give them to Remus.”

Carefully, we did so, and Remus shrunk them and then slowly put them in the Time Capsule.

“Now hand me the letters,” James said. We all did.

We shuffled them, and then randomly passed them back out. “Now, one by one, read a random excerpt from your letter without saying whose it was until the end.”

Remus was first in our little half circle, and he began to read.

“Overall, I think this year was the best any of us have probably ever experienced, I expect. New relationships have emerged, ended, and resurfaced. We have all grown so much; it’s incredible to think back on the beginning of fifth year, when I was charming Cara’s skin to look like a clown’s.

I’d just like to say now that, even though Alec is my boyfriend, James Potter will probably be my longest running crush. And I bet I am blushing so red you can’t tell my hair apart from my face.

Guys, I love all of you, and that’s enough said.

Love always and forever,

Lily Annemarie Evans.

We all were looking at Lily. She was indeed blushing.

“Aw, darling that was so cute,” Emmeline exclaimed. James was blushing too. I grinned at the both of them.

“Okay, who’s next?”

It was Peter’s turn to read.

“And if I never get the chance to see him again, I’ll at least always have that reminder of how much I love Fabian Prewett. He is my shooting star, my sunshine, my ray of hope in this War, and I love him with every ounce of my heart.

Enough about that sad, soppy love stuff.

Here’s to the things I don’t ever want to forget. Here’s to the look on Lily’s face when she found out it was magenta, here’s to all the times we stayed up talking about boys and baby names, here’s to the ex-boyfriends we bashed, the new ones we judged and the perfect ones we have.

Most of all, here’s to our lives as teenagers ending, and our lives as adults beginning.

Hell yeah.

Forever yours,

Emmeline Vance.”

Hestia’s, Peter’s, Remus’s, Alice’s, Dorcas’s, and mine all passed by before we got to the two I had been waiting on: James’s and Sirius’s.

Emmeline began to read, and I knew it was James talking right away.

“So, and Sirius, don’t kill me for this, but I would have to say Cara is my best friend. I mean, she shoved cake down my pants before she knew my favorite color. Actually, she still probably doesn’t know-“

“It just so happens to be mauve,” I interrupted, grinning as Emmeline continued

“that it just so happens to be mauve. So, she is my best friend, and yeah, she was once my girlfriend, but I am pretty sure she is where she belongs now. With my other best friend who I talked about already. But guys, here’s the end of this letter.

I love you all, and I always will, no matter what happens.

That sexy stud,

James Potter.

I laughed and hugged him. He really did love me. Ha. I knew he did deep down.

It was Dorcas’s turn to read, and she took a deep breath, grinned at me, and then started to read.

“Sorry James, but you aren’t the person I want to conclude this letter with talking about. I want to talk about my one and only baby, my only girl. I would not be complete without her; I don’t even think I’d be able to live, and that is all we need to know. Cara Elaina Sterling has my heart and she always will, and I will be hers forever, no matter what, even if she moves on.

My heart beats for you, darling dear.

And just know, I wouldn’t be able to live a minute without you in my life.

Truthfully yours,

Sirius Black. (Hey Cara, when we get married can I take YOUR last name?)”

I kissed him and he put his arm around me. James collected the letters and carefully put them too into the time capsule. He placed it in a perfect hole he buried, where we all would remember. We waved his wand and dirt neatly re-covered the spot and he smiled at all of us.

“We did it guys. We got through another year,” he said happily.

“Pity we only have another one to get through,” Hestia said.

“We have the rest of our lives to be friends, just one more year to be students,” Remus said. He was right. We would always be friends.

I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.

When times are hard, when things go bad
Regardless, I am here
When your whole world is crumbling
I promise to stay near.
We bring a balance to each other’s lives
We seek a challenge and hope not to collide
I can’t describe to you quite everything
Just know that we are here for anything
This Is A Suitable Valedictory; the Scene Aesthetic.

A/N- So guys, I am writing the third installment and I started bawling like a little babyyy when I finished this one. And by the end of next chapter, none of you are going to want to even readd the third installment, your all going to be too busy drawing up different ways of killing me... but whats coming is what I ALWAYS planned.

Double updatess. Two in one day! BEAT THAT. Don't you love me?

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 17: Fall To Pieces;
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Chapter 17: Fall To Pieces;

Happily, I danced and sang my way around the dorms with everyone else. The summer never looked so inviting. With the girls hopefully staying later on in the summer, (my mum hadn't answered me,) with my boys and Emmeline and my brothers and sister and endless days of opportunity and sun ahead of me, all I could do was smile.

“Morning love,” I said happily as I sat down across from Sirius at breakfast. I hummed as I ate and happily partook in conversation and banter.

Even leaving the castle didn’t make me too sad; I knew I’d be back. I smiled fondly as the castle disappeared, and I turned to everyone.

One by one, Sterling’s were leaving the school, and after us another one wouldn’t be back for sixteen years. We had left a good legacy here, we really had.

“Guys, we’re 7th years,” I said, grinning at the notion as they all smiled. We were it, we were the highest of the high, we were adults, we were old, and we were amazing.

“That’s so crazy, seems like just yesterday we were third years,” Sirius said.

“Or first years, even,” Peter said.

“I love it here, I really do,” Emmeline said.

“We all really do,” I said.

Connor came into the compartment.

“Hey Cara, can I talk to you?” he asked, motioning me out. I followed him. Chris was out there, pacing.

“There has been another attack,” Chris said, “it was on the Ministry itself, in dad’s department. He’s fine, but mum talked to Dumbledore who got the direct message to us that they have something important to talk to us about. And mum wants you to know that it’s all for the best.”

“But what is it?” I asked. The look on his face betrayed his sadness. I didn't like this already.

“Cara. We’re moving to Paris. You’re going to Beauxbatons next year.”

My feet seemed stuck to the spot. Judging by Connor’s face, he hadn’t exactly known this either. My ears started ringing.

“No,” I said, shaking my head, “its mum trying to be funny.”

“No Cara – it’s because of You-Know-Who.”

“We’re really leaving?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief.

Chris nodded. I sunk to the floor.

No. No. I won’t let this happen.

I never went back into my compartment, I was a coward. I found a teacher and asked them for clarification. Gravely, they agreed. I couldn’t go back in to see my friends; I couldn’t tell them this…this news.

I didn’t understand the concept – I didn’t get it. Voldemort would be able to find us in France, right? So what if we moved? Why can’t I just return for Hogwarts? WHY?

The train stopped, and I was pale and shaky as I went back into my compartment after everyone had left to find that my stuff had been taken by all of them. I tried to prepare myself for everything, and I walked out and towards everyone. I was so angry with her – my mum. I saw her standing there and got so mad. Chris put his arm around me and squeezed me close.

I saw Sirius and tears stung my eyes, which were closed against Chris’s shoulder.

“Hey honey,” my mum said gently.

I looked at her, so upset I could barely think of anything to say.

“Why?” I asked simply, voice quavering.

“I can’t explain to you now, darling, but I promise, when we get home, we’ll all sit down with your father and talk about this,” she said, trying to look soothing.

“What?” James asked curiously. They were all watching me like I was a ticking bomb. They had no idea for the explosion they were in for when we got back home.

I took a deep breath. “Apparently,” I started, sadly, “I am attending Beauxbatons next year.”

Between Emmeline and the guys stunned into silence, you could’ve heard a pin drop.

After the most uncomfortable car ride of my life, I found myself gathered in my mum’s room, with all four of my brothers and Callie.

“Explain this…please,” I asked, pathetically waiting for someone to yell ‘GOTCHA!’

It didn’t come. Instead, my mum started to cry and my dad started to pace, just like Chris did.

“To be blunt, kids, Voldemort is after our family, especially me. And Dumbledore thinks that it would be our best interest to have a quiet life in Paris until he has been conquered.”

“But that could be YEARS!” I exclaimed.

“Chris, Cody, you don’t have to come, you guys are adults now.”

“SO AM I!” I exclaimed, "Last time I checked, turning seventeen made me of age!"

“But you are still in school,” my dad sad firmly.

“And he knows you foiled his plot to kill me at the New Year’s party a year ago,” he added. Tears fell from my mum's eyes. She didn't want to go either.

“Well that sucks,” I said.

“So we’re really going?” Connor said, looking pitiful.

“Yeah,” my mum whimpered.

“We aren’t selling the house, Emmeline, Fabian, Marlene, and Benjy are going to stay here. We’re leaving Sunday morning. And, sorry kids, I really am, but we are going to have to drop all communication. Our letters will definitely be intercepted.”

“NO!” I screamed. I had lost it. Voldemort, this man, this monster, would take no more away from me. I knew all of my friends were downstairs, I knew they could hear me and were probably listening intently.

“CARA ELAINA STERLING!” my dad said sternly.

“Oh shut up! I’m surprised you knew my middle name!” I yelled back.

“What?” he whispered angrily.

“Up until VOLDEMORT decided he wanted to kill you, all you did was work, you were never home! Then you realize you were going to die – then you want to be a father?”

Everyone was staring at me. The words were spilling out of me faster then I could control them. I hadn’t let myself breakdown and cry yet, but it was sure as hell coming.

I am going to have to leave Sirius. And completely stop talking to him. Until You-Know-Who was gone.

“The second I am out of school I am leaving,” I said, “I am coming home the second I graduate,” I said, shaking my head.

I stormed out of the room, leaving Callie and Charlie wailing and my brothers sitting in stunned silence. Fleetingly, I caught a glimpse of everyone gathered at the bottom of the stairs.

I ran straight down them and into Sirius’s arms, crying. He held me close, tightly, like he was afraid I’d leave. We stayed like that for a while, until I broke away to look at him.

I hadn’t noticed until then that my house was empty, no furniture really, just a few scattered things. My dad’s word echoed in my mind. It was Friday afternoon, I was leaving SUNDAY?

“I’m leaving Sunday,” I whispered in his ear as he exhaled deeply.

He let go of me and I looked at all of them sadly.

“Let’s go in my room to talk, yes?” I said, dismally attempting a smile as I walked up to my room and we sat on the empty floor, the hardwood dusty in a huge square my bed had been.

“So what exactly is going on?” James asked.

“Didn’t you hear?” I said.

“No, I only heard you screaming,” he said.

“Well basically. Voldemort wants to kill me and my family. So we’re moving to Paris and I can’t send any letters to you, so I am falling off the face of the earth for a year. Only until I am out of school. And I’m leaving Sunday morning.”

They stared at me, stunned into silence.

I was surprised I had said it all so calmly. It was exactly what had been running through my mind.

And I started to cry a lot harder.

“And I am going to miss you all with every ounce of me.” I hadn’t even gotten a chance to say goodbye to Lily or Hestia or Alice or Dorcas, or Fabian or RYAN or Gideon or anyone.

The clock chimed four o’clock. I had what, 39 hours left with the love of my life and the best friends I had ever managed to make? Emmeline pulled me into a hug and she began to cry too.

“I am going to miss this house,” I said, and then it hit me.

I was never going back to Hogwarts.

The Sterling legacy ended two years earlier then it should have. I sniffed, loudly.

“Remember when I moved in next door?” James said.

“Vaguely. We were five.”

I am going to miss his house too, probably more then mine. I’m there just as much. I have just as many memories there, Christmases and summers and New Years’ and all the Easter holidays, and even Halloween and our birthday parties before Hogwarts.

And the lake by my house, and my swing, and my backyard.



“I want you to have Bonnie.” She broke out into fresh sobs. Bonnie and Clyde belong together, the less people that are subjected to this move, the better.

The possibilities this summer had held this morning had all evaporated, right now, no possibilities seemed to exist whatsoever. For the next year, my life was going to be hell, Connor would be my only friend and he isn’t even in my year.

I am going to be alone and quite miserable.

I laid down, stretching out on the floor, and closes my eyes, wishing this entire day had just been a nightmare.

But I opened my eyes and nothing had changed.


If I had my way
I’d never get over you
Today’s the day
I pray that we make it through
Today’s the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all
And I don’t wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you.
Fall to Pieces; Avril Lavigne.

A/N- This seems like a desperate attempt at a plot twist, I know, but its essential and its exactly what I had alwayyys planned. Honestly. And I know you probably exed out of the box or hit 'back' right when I said she was moving, but please - there is going to be a third installment and it will be her AFTER Hogwarts, so you won't have to sit through 18 chapters of no Sirius and a lot of Beauxbatons people. So, I know what I am doing is risking all of my reviewers and all, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. And this was short, it was actually part of sixteen but it would've been too long and seventeen chapters is a funny number to end on.

Now, to talk about the song - its an older one, and its Avril Lavigne but her old stuff is simply amazing. So, listen to this song if you are still reading this. =]

I am dreading to say this (cause it will all be death threats) but:

Review, lovelies.

Chapter 18: No;
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Chapter 18: No;

The moonlight shimmered across the lake. My family was having a huge party, a going away/house warming for the new people party, and hundreds of people seemed to be milling about the entire mile that was me and James’s backyard combined.

But I didn’t want to see these people, people my mum and dad worked with, family friends, strange Aurors, I wanted to be with Sirius and Emmeline and James and Remus and Peter.

And that’s where I was, strolling around the lake, feet in the cool sand, little tiny waves lapping over my toes as we all walked, talking and reminiscing. The water was cool, the tides predictable, giving me some feeling of stability, because at that moment in time, nothing seemed stable at all.

“I love you so much,” Sirius whispered as he pulled me close while we walked. I tried not to think about the morning, when I was leaving, but tonight, while I was still here.

I kept my eyes fixed ahead of me, eyes glassy as the lake was. The light wind blew my damp hair. I pulled my - fine, Sirius’s sweatshirt closer. I wasn’t giving it back. Last night, I had had Remus charm it so Sirius’s scent would never leave it.

Last night I had stayed up all night talking to Emmeline, just talking to her and bonding. Something in my heart told me she would be one of my hardest goodbyes. I understood why we were leaving; I just hadn’t gotten to the point where I would accept it. It had come so suddenly, this whole moving thing.

I had but ten hours left to spend here, it was ten, we left at eight in the morning. I kept banishing it from my mind. Sirius’s hand tightened around mine as if he could read my thoughts.

“Guys, do you want to go back?” James asked. We were making our rounds; I was going everywhere I’d miss dearly.

“Let’s go back to your house,” I said, as we followed the familiar path.

We stopped outside of the house, and they went around back to the party. His house was gigantic, and alone, I walked straight to the bathroom where my entire odyssey had started, the bathroom I had walked in on Sirius in right before fifth year. I touched the doorknob and reached around, knocking once before walking in.

See, I have learned.

All alone, I stepped into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I hardly recognized myself, thinking back to the girl I was before fifth year. I had grown taller; my hair was longer, but still dark and layered like always. It was almost completely dry, for we had been swimming earlier. My eyes were the same; they held less makeup more artfully applied. I looked in the mirror and saw myself not as the young fifteen year old I was, but the seventeen year old woman I was now.

Images of my friends danced across my eyes. Ryan, James, Sirius, those were the boys that had shaped my ability to be in a relationship and care about someone, they each taught me something important. Emmeline, Lily, those were the girls who taught me how to be a best friend and forgive an enemy. Remus and Peter, Hestia, Alice, Dorcas, they taught me things too. Like how to be a good friend.

Regulus had taught me not to judge a book by its cover, (or House,) and my brothers had taught me that as well. Muggle Studies had taught me not to give up, that if I found something I could do better in I should do just that. Quidditch had taught me how to be part of a team, and do my job thinking of not only them.

But Hogwarts had taught me how to be a person, how to grow and learn and forgive and be an adult. It had taught me more then books, and learning. It had shaped me as a person.

I turned away from the mirror, tearing my eyes away from my reflection, and walked down the hall into James’s room. I looked long and hard around it, all of the memories of sneaking in and out of it when I was ten, stealing things from it and leaving things in it.

I stepped out and walked down the stairs out to the party. I smiled at Professor McGonagall and continued over to my swing where they were all sitting, Emmeline swinging slowly.

I grinned at all of them and sat down on the warm grass.

My last night with all of them, and all I could do was think of other nights.

* * *

Sirius and I laid there on a blanket, spread out on the floor of my room, since I had no bed, door locked to keep out our friends, horrible as it was.

I looked over at him, and smiled, staring up at my blank ceiling, which used to be filled with posters and pictures.


I turned to look at him. My heart filled up with something heavy as I looked at him, he was so perfect, so strong usually. His eyes were bright and determined.

“What can I do so you won’t forget me?” he asked, playing with my hands.

“I won’t ever forget you.”

“How many times have I kissed you?”


“It won’t ever be enough,” he said. I smiled at him. What did I do to deserve him? Must have done something right, that’s for damn sure.

“I am going to kiss your face one hundred times, just to make sure there is not one spot I forgot to kiss,” he said.

I didn’t object, and he rolled over on top of me and kissed every inch of my face, one hundred times.

“Ninety nine,” he said.

I pressed my lips to his quickly, eagerly. “One hundred,” I said softly as we continued to kiss each other, each vying for some sort of control. It intensified quickly, and something triggered in my mind.

I wasn’t nervous, anxious or anything. I loved him so much.

I found my hands fumbling with his shirt, and he looked at me, eyes dazzling.

“Are you nervous?” he whispered.

“No,” I said, kissing him again. We continued like this for a while, until we were both sure of ourselves and ready for what was to happen next.

Which did happen.

I have never had such intense, deep, feelings of love towards a person before in my life.

I want to marry Sirius Black.

Maybe Emmeline wasn’t being irrational when she married Fabian.

* * *

The morning, bright, dazzling and mockingly full of sun, arrived way, way too quickly for my liking. I screwed up my eyes against the sun and rolled over, pressing my face into the blanket on the floor.

I got ready like it was any other morning, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach the whole time, the one you get before something very, very bad happens, like the way you brace yourself when you know a slap is coming.

My mind was in overdrive, replaying the last two years at once, and every other happy memory I possessed. It made my head hurt, and I grabbed my last few possessions, stuffed them in my trunk and left my room, only looking back sadly once.

Everyone was solemnly eating a huge breakfast. I smiled at everyone encouragingly and fixed myself a plate. It felt like the last meal I would ever eat, and everything I ate sat in my stomach like a quaffle. It washard to believe I would sit down for lunch in a completely different country.

It was 7:35 before I knew what was going on, and our Portkey was set at eight, and my mum softly suggested that we should start saying our last goodbyes. I stared at her, her words hanging in the tense air.

I hugged my aunts, uncles, yeah, my house was still swarming with people, and I left my friends for last. It was 7:45. The minutes ticked away quickly.

I hugged Peter first, and he picked me up off my feet. Then, Remus, who lasted a little longer.

I stared at Emmeline, who was crying, and James and Sirius. I didn’t want to let them go, I wanted to hold them with me forever. And in my memories, I knew I would, and even if it only was a year, it was a whole 365 days without even a letter.

James seized me first and picked me up in a huge, sweeping hug. I kissed his cheek.

“Cara, you’ll always be my sister and my best friend,” he said softly as I looked in his eyes and realized he was fighting back tears too. James Potter, my best friend, real man, tough guy, quidditch star, was crying.

I trembled as he held me closer, and I tried to remember everything about him, his face, his high cheekbones, his messy hair and long, perfect man eyelashes.

Now it was down to Sirius and Emmeline. I hugged her, and she let out a sob and so did I. She was my sister, my confidante, the one person that knew anything and everything about me. I would miss her sense of humor, her ideas, and even how she constantly stole food off of my plate. I memorized her face too, blonde hair, bangs perfectly straight, bright eyes, fair skin.

I just looked at Sirius for a few minutes before actually saying goodbye, I just stared at him. He was my love, mine, and I knew he always would be.

I hugged him tightly and he too, was fighting back tears.

“Cara, I love you,” was all he said as he held me close. I knew this wasn’t really goodbye, we would be back together soon, I knew we would be.

I just knew it.

“No matter what, no matter what I will always love you more then anything,” I said to him.

“Cara darling, its 7:58,” my mum said, “You should grab your things.”

I picked up the handle of my trunk and looked around my house, my beautiful house. The room began to spin, and my vision blurred.

“7:59, guys grab a part of the can.” My finger laced on to the top of an old tin can, but my eyes stayed fixed to Sirius’s. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t.

One tear fell down his face as I felt a pull and disappeared, on my way to a new life in France.

A new life.

Denying this day didn’t stop it from coming
Promise me, that you won’t be consumed when you realize
We’re screaming at the same moon.
Shredded by state lines
Press my face up against the glass
With both eyelids shut and baby, this won’t get any easier
Don’t let this die; we may never fall in love again.
No Hardcore Dancing in the Living Room; Chiodos.

A/N- Guys, I am so sorry. My heart is beating so fast, the last thing I want to do right now is click 'save chapter', but I know I have to cause if I never update again because I don't want this to end, you willll hunt me down.

So...this is the end of Cara Sterling's Guide to 1976, but it isn't the end of her saga, so keep a weather eye out on the horizon for Cara Sterling's Guide to the Real World.

In the mean time, you could check out some of my other stories, you'll find they are quite lacking in the opinions of you guys.

So back to this story, I am sorry I may have made someone cry, I didn't mean toooo. (Actually, I kinda did xD) And I am sorry if anyone has a problem with the teenage sex thing, you coud've skipped it. loll.

Well I am pretty damn upset. So. Cheer me up, pleeease?

Btw, this is a realll good song. I know, I shortened the title, but I found 'No' pretty fitting, didn't you?

Sighhhh. Review, lovelies.