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10 Things I Hate About James Potter by emerald_princess92

Format: Short story
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 9,311
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence

Genres: Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James
Pairings: James/Lily

First Published: 03/26/2007
Last Chapter: 05/10/2009
Last Updated: 05/10/2009

New Banner! || CrimsonEmeralds

James offers Lily a way to get rid of him in a form of a list. In one night, Lily must make a list of ten things that she hates about James.  If she suceeds, James promises to leave her alone. If she fails, she has to go on a date with him. Ten things? Easy...right?

Chapter 1: Ch. 1: So It Begins
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Disclaimer: I do not own anything. I am not even sure I own the plot. Though, I am quite sure that I own the chapter image.

Ch. 1: So it begins

Summary: “Come on Evans” Potter called out to me. I turned around towards him the scowl still on my face. “What?” Potter sighed before he said, “Here me out” Read and Review!

Okay just keep walking, Lily, maybe he will not see you if you just keep walking! You are almost there…a few more steps and you free from…

“Oi! Evans slow down will you,” A voice said behind me. I growled

“Potter” I said before turning to the said person. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? Just for a minute. A minute! Is that so hard to ask? “What do you want?”

The prat smiled cheekily. I scowled before I turned around starting to walk toward the Great Hall. I did not have time for the prat or his little tricks.

“Come on, Evans,” He called out to me. I turned around once again. The scowl still on my face. I sighed before I said, resignedly, “What, Potter, is so important that you have to bother me every moment of the day?”

“Just here me out okay?” He started when I did not object he continued, “Follow Me,” He said before he turned around and entered the Common Room. I threw my hands up in defeat what did he want me to do? Follow him like a lost puppy? No way. However, I was curious so I muttered the password to the fat lady and climbed through.

He was, obviously, waiting for me. He sat near the fire and on the table were parchment and a bottle of ink and quill. I warily neared him. When I was next to him, he said, “Sit” I narrowed my eyes but I obliged.

“Potter, don’t tell you brought me here for nothing.” I said fuming after a moment of silence

“Calm down Evans” He said smiling “I have an idea. I want you to make a list of ten things you hate about me. If you come up with ten things than I will leave you alone. But if you don’t, you have to go out with me.” Potter finished off smirking as if he just invented the light bulb.

It seemed reasonable. How hard could it be? I mean Potter is the most annoying person I have ever met. You see there is one. I hate that you annoy me. Easy.

“Also” He started again “You have to attach a memory to it. Like if I was selfish, you have to recall when I have ever been selfish to you or anyone else.”

Prat. He just made it harder. Nevertheless, I could still win…right? Okay, do not doubt. I know I can win. Then Potter will leave me alone finally.

“Fine” I said smiling sweetly. Potter does not know what he just got himself into.

“Good” he said smiling before he handed me the parchment and ink and quill. “Let’s get started”

End of Chapter 

A/n: I hope you liked it. I know I shouldn't be starting a new fic but I thought it would be a cute story to post on how James got his first date with lily. So far, there are eleven chapters. I know its short but deal with it. You know I suck at writing beginnings. The whole story will be in Lily’s POV and Sirius and Remus will be there occasionally. Read and review if you please. Tell me if I should continue or not.


Chapter 2: Ch. 2: I hate that you bully snape
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Disclaimer: I do not own anything excluding the plot!

Ch.2: 1. I hate that you bully Snape.

Summary: “Me?” He said incredulously as he stared at him. What did he expect fried chicken? “I do not bully Snape” Oh really, “How about that time…” Read and Review!

A/n: Thankx for all the reviews and reads so far! Love you all! 


                                           Ten Things I hate about James  Potter 
                                               1. I hate when you bully Snape.

I smiled trumpet as I finished number 1 with a flourish. Potter glanced at the parchment before he looked at me as if I was crazy.

“Me?” He asked incredulously as he stared at me. I rose an eyebrow what did he expect me to write?

“What did you expect, Potter?” I asked after a moment of silence

“I never bullied Snape!” He exclaimed

“Oh really” I said glaring at him. The prat did not want to admit that I might win because I might actually have ten things.

I just wanted to throttle him. He is so…argh! There are no words to explain it. He was a prat and always will be a prat.

“How about that time near the grounds?” I said smirking as I remembered the event…

“Lils” My best friend, Nelly Johnson, said. Pointing toward the grounds where a crowd gathered around something. I just had a feeling it was James and his group called the Marauders.

I was correct as I heard a bout of laughter coming from the crowd. Making my way through the group surrounding the scene I finally reached the scene I glared as I took the scene in.

Snape was tied to a turning wheel. He looked so frightened it was almost comical. Black was on the side smiling happily as he took money from other people. Remus was shaking his head but he was also smiling as he stood next to the tied up Snape occasionally turning him. Potter was in front of the tied up Snape he was blindfolded and was holding a knife, obviously, aiming to hit Snape with it.

“Welcome” Black voice said looking at the people gathered around the little show, “You have taken your bets. One was that for fifty galleons that James will not hit Snape. Another was that he would hit Snape squarely in the chest area. Let the games begin.” Black finished, I scowled. How could they be so mean?

“I’ll get you for this Potter” Snape exclaimed before Potter finally threw the knife. I watched in disbelief as the knife flew in midair then with a loud twang, the knife was now stuck right next to Snape’s right ear.

“Did I hit him?” Potter asked as he took the blindfold off


“Or that other time...” I said enjoying how Potter reddened.

The Marauders snickered as they watched the Slytherin table. I watched them warily. They were up to something. Therefore, I, too, turn to look at the Slytherin table.

There was nothing interesting…for now.

I watched as Snape took a sip from his goblet. Nothing happened until…Snape got up with a glazed expression and made his way toward the Staff table.

The great hall was now quiet as Snape opened his mouth and said, “My dear Minnie, you have no idea how much I am in love with you. Our love is forbidden but I yearn for it. I can’t do it anymore I…must” Before he scared me for life…he kissed McGonagall.

Potter laughed before he started chanting, “Snapey and Minnie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes loooove-“

But, I noted with a smirk, he didn’t get to finish as Snape turned towards Potter and made his way toward him, in a sing-song voice, Snape said, “I love you, I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I want to fu—"

“Enough!” James shouted as I reminded him of that day. “I get it. Okay, I get it. Can we please go to the next one?”

Oh, I am so enjoying this.

A/n: This is NOT slash! I just wanted to point that out. The thing that Snape drunk was Love Potion. I hope you like it! The next one will not be up as fast as this one had. The next one should be up 1-10 days. Thankx for the reviews! Sorry for the short chapter promise the next will be longer! Read and Review!


Chapter 3: Ch. 3: I hate that you get away with anything.
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Disclaimer: I do not own anything excluding the plot.

Chapter 3: I hate that you get away with anything. 

                                                         Ten things I Hate 
                                                             James Potter 

                                              1. I hate that you bully Snape 
                                        2. I hate that you get away with anything 

James looked at me amused as I finished writing number two. I cocked my eyebrow at him. It was true he did get away with anything. “Oh, you are such a liar”

I narrowed my eyes. I know he did not call me, Lily Evans, a liar. I do not lie.

I grabbed his collar and, ignoring his yells (“Gosh, Evans, didn’t know you liked it rough”) I looked him straight in the eye and said, menacingly, “Don’t you ever call me a liar or I’ll make you wish that you never even heard of Lily Maria Evans. Do you understand?” I finished tightening my grip on his collar

He widened his eyes in fear before he nodded his head vigorously. I smirked as I let him go and said, “Good, now lets get started”

He stared at me for a moment before he said, “My Merlin, Evans, what got your knickers in a twist”

I glared at him as I said, “You, Potter, you”

I shook my head as I saw what the Marauders (actually what Potter did) did to the halls.

I just cannot believe that they blew up the toilets. How disgusting and vile. Ugh...they call this humor…yeah right.

“Potter” McGonagall, her lips thin as she struggled to stay up right as she slide down the hall

“What have you done?” She screeched as she neared Potter. I watched the scene with triumphant. Finally, Potter will get some punishment. Justice has arrived.

“Nothing” He said, simply, trying to look innocent

“Nothing? This is something!” McGonagall screamed her arms waving wildly for emphasis. Show him whose boss, McGonagall.

“Professor, I’m sorry for the mishap. It was a mistake and I have seen the errors of my ways” Potter started his hands folded and he looking at the floor clearly ashamed. You have to be kidding me. “I promise to clean it all up…Minnie” Potter finished his head still bowed

McGonagall surely is not going to believe this…this…charade.

“What are you waiting for, Mr. Potter? Begin” She said before she turned around and began walking toward the Entrance Hall. 

“Ah, yes,” Potter said, with a dreamy look on his face, “The Toilet Project number II.”

I stared at him for a moment before I shook my head and muttered, “I don’t even want to know what the Toilet Project number I is.”

I sniggered as I watch the Marauders spotted Dumbledore walking toward them. Now, they were in for it finally…justice.

I watched smirking as Black hurriedly shooed the people who had gathered to watch James try to hit Snape with a knife. 

I folded my arms and watched as Dumbledore looked around the scenery before he turned to the Marauders. “Did you do this?” 

Potter melodramatically clutched his chest. “I am insulted. Nay, wounded. That hurts.” 

“Ow,” Black added mournfully. I rolled my eyes at them; they acted as if they were innocent. 

Dumbledore smiled before he flicked his wand and Snape fell to the ground with a thump. He then turned around and walked back to the castle but he called back, 

“Detention, Mr. Black and Mr. Potter” 

I shook my head sadly. If only he turned back around and saw the high fives and cheers the Marauders were doing now. Maybe, just maybe, he would have made them have detention with Filch…pity. 

“I’m not done,” I snapped as I finished and saw that James was about to say something. Good Merlin does this gnat know not to open his mouth. 

“At-tention people” I watched with raised eyebrow as three drunken Marauders got on top of the table. We just won the Quiddicth match and we are…celebrating. Merlin, where’s a teacher when you need one. I watch as poor Peter fell to the ground unconscious. 

“You see, everyone,” Black started with exaggerated solemnity, “James here…is like an acorn...” He trailed off as he started giggling. Okay, Black, is defiantly drunk. What he said next confirmed it. 

“I am proud to say that my passing out will be less girly than Peter’s” Before he toppled of the table and fell to the ground unconscious. 

Remus smiled broadly at the people around him before he said ('Please don’t be drunk’ I thought) “Me…I’m…Remus…J….something” He giggled before he continued, “I’m smart” 

I groaned putting my head in my hands. Why did they have to put Lupin, the reasonable, in this? WHY?! Merlin, please tell me why. 

“What is going on here?” McGonagall said as she entered the room. Finally, some authority. 

“McGoogles, my love!” Potter (the only standing Marauder left) cried, “Have you been besmirching my good name to this impressionable youth?” 

“Mr. Potter, are you drunk?” McGonagall asked as she neared him. No shit Sherlock. 

“Yes, he is, Professor” I piped up 

McGonagall turned to me and, her lips thin even more as she said, “I would have expected more of you, Ms. Evans, letting your fellow classmates get drunk. Shame” 

I gaped at her. I did not do anything but I was the one who was being reprimanded. Oh, Potter is soooo dead. 

Potter laughed as I finished the memory. I glared at him and said, “That isn’t funny” 

“Whatever you say, Evans,” Potter said catching his breath. I could not help but smile slightly…it was somewhat funny when you thought about it. Maybe, just maybe, Potter might be an okay person. 

End of Chapter 

A/n: So, what did you think? Sorry it took so long to update but my teacher stole my notebook with all my stories (she is very evil! You can ask Queen Starla_weird93) and will not give it back to me. Therefore, now I have to write all my stories over and post them. So that’ll take a while. 

Thankx for all of the reviews! You guys rock! 

Next chapter will be up soon! (In other words by May 16 or 19) 

Love you,

Chapter 4: Ch. 4: I hate when you ask me out
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Disclaimer: I do not own anything excluding the plot.

Ch. 4: I hate when you ask me out

Summary: “My mom said that when I’m 45 I can start dating. Will you out with me then?” An 11-year-old James Potter asked me.

My cheeks reddened before I said, “No”


“Because you look weird…”

Ten things I Hate
James Potter

1. I hate that you bully Snape
2. I hate that you get away with anything
3. I hate when you ask me out

“Don’t. Even. Start” I said glaring at the prick who had opened his mouth.

He smiled and said, “I was just going to say continue…”


“Now, from the beginning” I said

I began eating looking around the big and beautiful great hall when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up to see a bespectacled boy in front of me smiling.

“Hi,” He said

“Hi,” I replied awkwardly

“I’m James Potter”

“Lily Evans”

“My mom said that when I’m 45 I can start dating. Will you out with me then?” He asked

My cheeks reddened as I heard chorus of ‘Awe’s and ‘how cute’ before I said, “No”

He looked confused as he asked, “Why?”

“Because you look weird…”

“I did not look weird,” Potter protested as I finish the memory where he first asked me out

“Yes, you did, trust me”

What is that in your eye? Oh, I guess it was just a twinkle”

“What’s that on your face? Oh, wait, that is your face.”

“You’re eyes are as startlingly green, grass...”


“It sounded better in my head”

“I’m sure it did,” I said before I rolled my eyes and left

“If I could hold a star every time you made me smile I would have the entire night sky in the palm of my hand.” He called after me desperately

“I hope the stars explode and you die.” I said as I continue to walk away

“If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and me together.” Potter said cheekily as I finished the memory

I blinked and stared at him as I said, “Me isn’t a letter Potter.”

“I! I meant me…I mean I!”

“I’m sure you did...”

“Ok, how about… If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK”

Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F and U

"Where have you been all my life?"

"Hiding from the hell did you find me?"

"I know how to please a woman."

"Then please leave me alone."

“You see my friend over there?” he points to Sirius, who grins and waves “He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

“How much did you pay Sirius to wave?” I said tiredly as I shifted my books to my left side

“Ten galleons... but that’s not the point.” He said quickly as I turned around

“Yes, it is”

"You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.”

“You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that ugly”

“You remember Crayola Crayons? My favorite color always used to be sapphire green, and I just realized... it’s because that’s the color your eyes are.”

“...You have got to be kidding me...” I groaned as I held my head in my hands


“Sapphires are blue!”

“...I knew that...”

“Remus pushed me down the stairs...”

“I have to thank Remus for that later”

“I saw a rose this morning. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen... that is, until I saw you.”

“I saw a door knob this morning. I thought it was smarter than you, and now I see that I was right.”

“Were you arrested earlier? Because it has to be illegal to look that good.”

“Were you arrested earlier? Because it has to be illegal to look that bad.”

“If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.”

“If you stood in front of a mirror, it would break.”


“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because I see an angel standing in front of me.”

“Did it hurt when your mother dropped you on your head, because I see some major inflammation”

“Is there something in your eye? Oh, it's just a sparkle.”

“Is there something on your neck? Oh it’s just your big head.”

“Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.”

“Does your head hurt? Cause it’s been overexerting itself trying to be human.”

“Evans! That was almost a compliment!”

“Guess I’m losing my touch.”

“The shortest word for me is I, the sweetest word for me is LOVE, but the only word for me is YOU.”

“Love is also the longest word you know, isn’t it?”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, you are sweet, and I love you.” He continued ignoring my comment

“Tomatoes are red, ashes are black, go to hell, and never come back”

"Hey Evans, did it hurt falling from the sky? Because you look like an angel!”

“Hey Potter, I know what will probably hurt... my knee in your balls” I smirked as he widened his eyes.

"If I could see you naked, I'd die happy”

"Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".”

“Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.”

“Of course, it’s 305- get-lost”

“Dang, where’s a pen when you need it”

“And the one I love the most” I said

“Did it hurt?”

“What, when I fell from heaven?”

“Oh my God, you really did fall from heaven???”

“...You amaze me sometimes...”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I’ll let you interpret that anyway you like.”


“I still don’t get that,” Potter said scratching his head


End of Chapter

A/n: I got the responses and pick up lines online. Review if you want…


Chapter 5: Ch. 5: I hate that you embarass me (Publicly)
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Disclaimer: Do not own anything except the plot so don’t sue. :P

A/n: Mmm…this was surprising since I was going to update in July but I felt the need to write and I nicked my notebook from my teacher. (Do not ask)…here it goes…

                                                           Ten Things I Hate 
                                                              James Potter

                                                  1. I hate that you bully Snape
                                         2. I hate that you get away with anything
                                                  3. I hate that you ask me out
                                        4. I hate that you embarrass me (Publicly)

Summary: “Potter, this is a public place you can’t dance in a public place. Second, there’s no music.” I said blushing as he took my hand and kissed it. Ewww…James Potter did not just kiss my hand. Note to self: Must scrub hand forty times tonight. Read and Review!

“I disagree,” Potter said as he snatched the paper from my hands.

“What do you mean ‘you disagree’?” I said hotly as I tried to grab the list back.

He got up from his seat and stretched the list in his right hand a grin plastered on his face as he sat on the floor. “I just mean that it isn’t me that embarrasses you it’s yourself.”

I blinked if that meant any sense to anyone out there then I must be the slow one. “Name one time when I embarrassed myself without your help”

“Well, there was this one time in third year” He said smiling innocently

I sighed as I remembered that day…

"You know Lily it is very unhealthy to be drinking butterbeer" I rolled my eyes, Nelly is a health food fanatic, her healthy eating diet would kill me, a diet without chocolate frogs in my opinion is a weight loss diet and me and Nelly do not need to lose weight, I'm used to Nelly's lectures by now though.

"Butterbeer is full of sugar you know, and too much sugar is very unhealthy for you, instead of replacing fluid in your body it actually dehydrates you. A health diet consists of eight glasses of water a day and sufficient amount of meats, vegetables, fruits, breads and dairy. Butterbeer does not come under any of those categories"

"Yeah but its so gooooooood" I replied making sure I took a big loud slurp of butterbeer. One day Nelly will cave and eat normal food but until then I will try and tempt her as much as possible, I unwrapped my chocolate frog and bit the head off and chewed slowly, making sure Nelly was watching me "mmm chocolate" I smiled at her.

"Make fun all you like Lily Maria Evans, but when I am 174 I will still have all of my teeth, my heart will still be pumping and I will not be affected by any disease"

"Well Miss Nelly Maya Cortez when I am 174 I don't really care if I have all my teeth. When I am 174 if my husband finds me attractive, his manhood is still very nice and large, we still have sex more than rabbits and he is not affected by erectile dysfunction then I will deem myself happy and a very satisfied old lady."

Nelly smirk was instantly replaced by shock. This confused me until I heard someone cough behind me. I turned around horrified and found myself looking at The Marauders. From the looks on their faces, they heard everything I just said.

I could feel my face instantly brighten up.

Potter was laughing by the time I, unwillingly, finished that stupid memory. Just because I embarrassed myself once in front of the marauders does not mean the other time were not Potter fault.

I glared as I said, “Moving on…”

“Hey, Lily” I heard someone yell edat me from across the great hall. I groaned I would know that voice from anywhere. That annoying voice that always follows me around like a lost puppy or, even worse, a love stricken fool.

“What is it, Potter,” I said annoyed as turned towards him. Once again, he had that stupid annoying smirk on his stupid face. Stupid git.

“Would care to dance my dear Lily,” He said as he bowed and outstretched a hand to me.

I rolled my eyes as I said, “Potter, this is a public place you can’t dance in a public place. Second, there’s no music.” I said blushing as he took my hand and kissed it. Ewww…James Potter did not just kiss my hand. Note to self: Must scrub hand forty times tonight. I shuddered and before I knew it, Potter was singing and twirling me around.

“I’m lost without you. Cant help myself” He sang I groaned as I thought mournfully ‘Why me? “How does it feel to know that I like you baby” 'Lord kill me now’ I thought as people started to ‘Aww’ and catcall’.

I growled, pulled away from him and yelled, “I hate you, Potter,” before I stormed out of the Hall. I cannot believe he did that in front of everyone. How embarrassing… 

“Okay maybe once I embarrassed you but that’s it.” He said as he folded his arms

“Oh, really” I said an eyebrow raised as I looked at him

“Yes, really” he said smirking before he said, “Remember that day in fifth year in potions” 

Here we go...

Here I am, working away in class when a sudden force hits the back of my head, causing me to flinch. It did not hurt. It is just I am not used to being hit, on the back of my head. 

I twist around quickly and scan the room. 

Everyone’s eyes are glued onto their papers. 

Frowning, I turn back around, my eye catching something white and crinkled on the ground. 

Bending to the side, I pick it up. The messy writing inside tells me it is from my friend, Nelly. 

Looking up, I look at Nelly with a confused look. 

“What?” I mouth. She mouthed something that looked a bit like “Where is otter?” 

“What?” What is she talking about? What otter? 

“I want blotter.” Oh god… this could take a while. I really can’t lip read. 

“Wait, you want blotter?” 

“No! I want to squatter.” 

By ‘I want to squatter’, I was much more confused then starting out. It must have shown because Nelly looked frustrated. Her face was all scrunched up and red. 

“Wait, WHAT?” oops… I said that a bit loud. Everyone snapped their heads up and stared at me. Some of my classmates were snickering and others looked just as confused as I did. 

“Lily, where’s Potter?” She finally said, not mouthing this time. Why does she want to know where James Potter is? 

I look next to me. Potter is not in his seat. 

“Oh,” I say under my breath. I look back up at her with a why-are-you-asking-? look. 

“How am I supposed to know?” I yell, waving my quill in the air like a manic. I still cannot believe she threw a note at me asking that! GOSH! Why do I even care where Potter is? Do people expect me to know everything! 

It is not like I like him or anything… 

Yeah, that’s right I do not like Potter. He is a prat and always will be a prat but he’s also cute though… 

“Woah! I DID NOT just think that” I yelled making everyone once again jump and the teacher finally turned around. “Miss. Evans, is there something you would like to share with us?” 

“Um…no Professor” I whispered as my cheeks burned. How embarrassing…This is all Potter’s fault… he has somehow fulfilled to embarrass me without his presence. Damn him!

“What did you think?” Potter asked as soon as I finished the memory. I am not even sure how he even knew that happened he was not even there but his stupid friends were…stupid friends. 

“I’m not telling you,” I said glaring at him 

“Please” He said with puppy dog eyes. 

“Oh, please, Potter, fix your face you look pathetic like that.” I said as he stuck his tongue out at me. “Anywho, let's continue. #5…I hate that you…” 

End of Chapter 

A/N: Woohoo! Another chapter finished! Any suggestions for next chapter what I mean is any request for what the number 5 should be? I will choose the one that I feel I can work with. I think that is about it…except… 

Check out Natalia_’s story: Hating James Potter. It is about Lily making a list of ten things she hates about James Potter. Much like what I am doing but hers is going rather well. It already has three chapters. So, go check that out. :) 

Also, please review! They are very much appreciated and thanks for everyone who has reviewed so far. You rock! 

Read and Review, please! 


Chapter 6: Ch.6: I hate your stupid hair
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                                    Ten Things I Hate About James Potter                                            
                                          I hate that you bully Snape                                    
                                    I hate that you get away with anything                                            
                                          I hate that you ask me out                                        
                                        I hate that you embarrass me                                             
                                              I hate your stupid hair

Summary: You guys actually thought that I would actually forget the oh so wonderful I-hate-your-wind-swept-looking-like-an-idiot-you-big-toe-rag-hair. Ha! Yeah, right, any who here it goes...number 5...

A/n: Hope you Enjoy!

James snorted as he read the parchment, "Yeah, right, my hair has nothing to do with this. This isn't a valid reason."

I glared at him and sneered, "Oh, yes it is. Your freaking hair almost gave the Gryffindor tower agony"

He gave me a wary gaze and said slowly, "What do you mean?"

"You remember in third year after Christmas break your hair was infested with fleas."

"Fleas...oh yeah those annoying buggers."

I shook my head before I asked, "Speaking of that, what did give you the fleas?"

He scratched his hair sheepishly before he said, "Oh...uh...a dog of my friend...his name is Snuffles...bastard"

I rolled my eyes before I said, "Whatever, continuing on..." 


“Mate, you should really get that checked out,” Black said as he cast Potter a weary gaze

“Shut up, Padfoot, there's nothing wrong with me.” Potter muttered as he continued to scratch his hair.

My eyes twitched as I sighed and closed the book that I was 'trying' to read.

“Nothing wrong with you? James, you've been scratching your hair three days straight” Remus stated as he gazed at James.

“Well, my hair must be allergic to something.”

I snorted and replied, “Right, Potter, your hair is allergic to pumpkin pasties”

He sent me a slight glare and said, “No one asked you, Evans,”

I shrugged and replied, “Just trying to help,”

“Well, I don't need any help. Nothing is wrong with me or my hair.” He said, before he brought his hand down and set it on his lap. He sent them a shaky smile before he muttered, “See, perfectly fine.” He finished with a nervous laugh, I watched in amusement as his hand began to twitch before he shook his hair.

“You know you want to scratch.” I said smirking.

“No, I don't!” he protested and I sighed.

“Look, Potter, obviously something’s wrong with your hair. How long has this been going on?” I asked glancing at the three.

“About three days, he's been scratching none stop and its not his hair either like in the back of his neck and near the hair. Its been driving us mad with all his whining.” I paled as Remus finished explaining what were the symptoms. There was only one conclusion...

“Potter, during the spring break were you near any cats or dogs?” I questioned and I looked at them suspiciously as they glanced at Black.

“You could say that...” He muttered as he absentmindedly rubbed his head against the sofa.

I paled and leaped up with wide eyes, “Potter, I think you have fleas.”

He yelped and widen his eyes, “AM I going to die?”

“Is it contagious?” Black questioned with fearful eyes toward Potter.

“No and yes.”

“How do you get rid of it?” Remus asked.

“Well, the only way I know is to wash your head with lice shampoo then shave your head.”

Potter widened his eyes and shook his head wildly, “No way! I will not cut my hair, never!” 

“That's the only way you can take them out.”

“Do as she says, James.” 

“My hair is too precious to get shaved off.” He replied.

“If you don't then you'll infect the whole Gryffindor tower.”

“I don't care!” He said stubbornly.

“Then we have no choice...” I nodded at Black and Remus and they stood up and pointed there wands at Potter...

“You guys...”

“Sorry, Prongs, but my hair is more important. STUPEFY!” 


The next day we all sat at the Gryffindor table and froze when we heard a audible scream and before we could realize what was happening, Potter had burst through the door of the Great Hall and stomped his way towards us and ignoring the snickering from the Slytherins.

“Nice hair cut, Potter!”

“Wow, Potter, you finally got rid of that raven nest you called hair”

“Even with his hair um...messed up as it is; he's hot!”

We stood as Potter approached us, I saw his lips pull back in an enraged snarl. “What did you DO to my HAIR?” he demanded.

“It's not my fault muggle objects are so freaking complicated. I swear I didn't mean to do that.” Black quailed. “We’ll make it up to you! Here...take Evans,” he pushed me in front of him. “Erm, virgin sacrifice,” he hissed in response to my outraged gasp. Traitor!
“ARGH!” He yelled, pulling his hair or...what was left of it. For now, it looked like Potter was balding. I knew I shouldn't have trusted Black with a muggle object...especially an electric razor... 


“Bloody Prat...” Potter muttered angrily as he interrupted me.

“Stop being a girl and suck it up.” I said as I saw his eyes glisten with tears as I finished the memory.

“Shut up, Evans,” He muttered as he wiped his eyes, “I have something in my eye.” Right... 


“God,” He groaned as he entered the common room and sat heavily dispersedly next to me and I sighed heavily.

“Does my hair look alright Evans?” He muttered as he mournfully realized that his hair was still to short to swipe his hair through. Thank God.

“As good as it can get, Potter,” I replied nonchalantly as continued to read my book.

“Your fault,”

“I had no choice,”


I blinked and looked up at him, “Potter, are you...pouting?”

He glared at me as he muttered a small “no”

I raised an eyebrow and reverted my attention to my book and muttered, “What ever gets you through the day.”

There was a silence that enveloped us after I finished the last statement. It only lasted a few moments.

“Evans...does my hair looks okay?”

“I don't know, Potter,”

“Please tell me...”

“...” I flipped a page, my anger building up. Try to act civil, try to act civil.


I gritted my teeth and tried to count to ten. 

1...2...please...3...4...please...5...6...please...7...please...8...9...please...10...plea... thats it!

“Potter, your hair is fine and sexy! Now, shut up and let me read.” I yelled, completely annoyed by his constant pleading. Silence...

“I can’t believe I just said that,” I muttered, horror laced in my voice as I closed my book and began moving to go up to the girl's dormitory and straight to the bathroom.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to wash my mouth out with soap for saying such a nice thing about you, Potter; it’s got to be against some rule somewhere.” 


“Meanie.” He muttered as I finished the memory.

I shrugged as I put a small check mark next to the number which meant it was approved by Potter. “The truth hurts.”

End of Chapter!

A/n: I know you guys were expecting something better but I thought one big memory would be enough to get my point through. I hope I didn't dissappoint anyone with this because I enjoyed writing this since everyone was clearly expecting this one. Thanks for all the reviews so far. I hope there's more to come. :) Also, thanks to my awesome beta-reader, QueenStarlaWeird93! :) Next chapter is going to be big, I promise!

Chapter 7: Ch. 7: I hate when you think you are always right.
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: I don't own anything relating to Harry Potter. I only own the plot.

Ten Things I Hate About James Potter
1. I hate that you bully Snape
2. I hate that you get away with anything
3. I hate that you ask me out
4. I hate that you embarrass me
5. I hate that you care about your hair more than anything
6. I hate when you think you are always right. 


A/n: Short but still an update. =]

“Wait,” Potter said, looking at the next one I had written. “Isn't that a good thing?”

“Not to me it is,” I said, glaring at him. I dare him to question me.

I dare him.

Potter is going to die.


Do you really need to ask?

He turned my hair blue.

And not even light blue, no, electric blue!

He is soooo dead.

He's a twelve year old, he needs to grow up already!

“Potter!” I yelled, him and his friends turned at my shout.

“Hello, my flower,” James said, smiling sweetly

“Don't hello me!” I said, poking his chest at each word. “You stupid...boy!” He smiled in amusement as Black snorted in laughter.

Okay, so that wasn't the best thing to say if you wanted to insult Potter. Oh, how I wanted to wipe that smile out of his face.

“Ouch!” He yelped, rubbing his forearm where I just pinched him at.

That could work.

I smirked at him as his face was wiped of that annoying smirk. 

“Change it back,” I said, glaring at all three of them as they all sprouted a look of confusion on there faces.

“Change what back?” They asked in that creepy of theirs. You know when twins say things at the same time without thinking about doing it, there did the exact thing except the not only said at the same time but they also had the same facial expression.

Yeah, weird.

“My hair, you idiots!” I said, pointing towards my blue hair. They all turned their attention to my hair and they all gaped at it.

“Holy shit,” Remus muttered, looking at it as if fascinated.

“Aww, come on, why didn't we think about that?” Potter muttered, glaring at my hair as if it was its fault. 

“Woah, Evans, what the hell happened?” Black guffawed, not knowing to be angry like Potter was or laugh at the pure ingenious of the prank.

“Potter, stop joking around! Reverse it!” A sudden panic was building up inside me praying that Potter did this or else...

I'll be in deep shit.

“I don't know how to.” He shouted back, still bitter that he didn't do it.

“What spell did they use? I never seen it before.” Even at twelve, Remus was Remus always needing to know how something was done.

“I don't know,” I snapped at him, I so didn't need his curiosity right now, “That's why I'm asking you!”

They glanced at each other before the shouted, “Mystery!”

“After watching Sherlick Lock, I've always wanted to solve a mystery.” I look blankly at Potter before I said, “You mean Sherlock Holmes?”

“No, Sherlick Lock.” He said in that annoying confident voice

“Sherlock Holmes!” How was he going to tell me? I grew up watching Sherlock Holmes!

He glared at me before he said, “Nooo, Sherlick Lock.”

“I'm pretty sure its Sherlock Holmes.” I said with gritted teeth.

“Well, you're wrong because it's Sherlick Lock!”

“Sherlock Holmes!”

“Sherlick Lock”

“Sherlock Holmes.”

“Sherlick Lock!”

“Sherlock Holmes, and if you say Sherlick Lock one more time I'll...”

“Sherlick. Lock.”

That's it.

“Now, if you do that, Evans, you'll regret it.”

I don't care.

“Ouch! What the fuck, Evans?”

“Wow, who knew Evans packed a punch”

“Ms. Evans!”


“That is not how a lady should act... detention for a month.”


“Told you so.” Potter said, happy that he had been right about hitting him, he then turned around and began to leave his friends behind him.

“Wait!” I yelled panicked remembering why I sought them out

I ran towards James and jumped in his arms kissing him madly and we lived happily ever... 

“Stupid Potter!” I yelled at Potter for interrupting him from the real ending “That didn't happen, you...idiot!”

Well, at least, it wasn't as bad as 'boy'.

“Ouch, ouch!” Potter yelled as I assaulted him with hits on the head, trying to knock some sense into him. “I'm sorry! I thought it sounded better than the original! Ouch! Stop hitting me dammit!”

Wait!” I yelled panicked remembering why I sought them out “My hair, you asses, you forgot to change back my bloody hair!”

“Oh, wow, that was so much better.” Potter said, sarcastically,

“You're just mad you got hit by a girl...” I said, smirking, “Twice.”

“I don't hit girls.” He muttered in response 

Good cover.

“Or boys.” I said, as an afterthought, ignoring the glare he sent me as I thought of the other time he was annoyingly right.

“I would say I told you so but I don't think its needed this time.” Potter whispered finding me on top of the astronomy tower. I quickly wiped my tears away and took a deep breath. Before turning towards him and shooting him a glare.

How did he find me?

“Shove off, Potter,” I muttered, I so didn't need him shoving this in my face.

“No, I was right wasn't I? Tell me, I was right.” He said with such force that it made anger well up inside of me. 

What happened to not telling me so? Stupid prick.

“You were right!” I yelled at him, throwing my hands in the air. I glared at him as I whispered, “You. Were. Right.”

Did that give him some joy?

“You prick.” I muttered, wiping my tears away “You freaking prick.”

Merlin, just kill me now. Nothing is worth this.

Have I not suffered enough?

“I told you.” He whispered, his voice sounded closer, did he move closer? “I told you that when he left, I would still be here. I told you so.”

But I wanted him NOT you.

I blinked as he took my hand into his and open my palm. I glared at him.

“I told you, when he was gone. I would still be here, I would still send you this like I've always have since we were fourteen.” He closed my palm and I now held something inside of my hand.

I shot him one more glare before I glanced down and saw the familiar flower that he had always sent me.

A lily.

“I still hate you.” I said, looking at the flower. I would throw it away as soon as I reached the dormitory.

Just like the others.

Without looking up, I knew he was smiling that stupid smile of his as he muttered, “No, you don't” before he left.

He was right. Not one bit. 

I blinked.

He blinked.

“Can I take that as a postive view on me?” He asked and I thumped him across his head.

Thank Merlin I only did a brief summary of that memory. Ugh, just the thought of that stupid grin on his face makes me mad.

“Aww, I thought I was acting sweet that time. You know, comforting you after losing your boyfriend.” Potter muttered before adding, “Hey, how did you even remember that day.”

I gave him a blank look, was he stupid? “Potter, that was last year.”

“Oh, right, I knew that.” He chuckled, nervously,

I rolled my eyes before saying, “Anyway, moving on...” I took the paper and pen and began to write the next one. 

“Woah, wait!” Potter shouted and I glared as he took the pen from me. “That's it? Nothing else?”

“I think that's enough, I've proven my point. You're annoyingly right.” I gritted my teeth as I snatched my pen before I widened my eyes in realization, “'re getting nervous because we're almost there. Four more and I'm done. You're getting scared that I'll actually win!” I could have jumped for joy at the thought. He only glared at me which proved my point. 

With a new flourish in my writing, I continued, “I hate...”

A/n: Short, I know! But still an update! I'm sorry if someone was expecting more. Please review though if you liked this little part.


7. I hate Sirius

“That doesn't count” He objected glaring at him

“Yes it does. He's like the reason why you act the way you do and he makes you do weird things.” I said, it may have been lame but it was still a valid reason.

“Name one!” He challenged.

“When you both stumbled out of the broom closet, hair mussed, shirt untucked...” I smirked as he tried to shush me, looking frantically around in fear of someone hearing.

“Okay! Okay! Geez, tell the whole world why don't you. It wasn't what it seemed, anyway,” I raised my eyebrows.

Of course not, especially when two boys come out of a broom closet looking throughly shagged. 

Hope that quenches all of you guys' thirst for more (or just strengthen your want for more.) Review please!


Chapter 8: Ch. 8: I hate Sirius
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the plot. All rights are reserved to JKR.

Ten Things I Hate About James Potter
1. I hate that you bully Snape
2. I hate that you get away with anything
3. I hate that you ask me out
4. I hate that you embarrass me
5. I hate that you care about your hair more than anything
6. I hate when you think you are always right.
7. I hate Sirius

Chapter 8: I hate Sirius

“That doesn't count.” He objected, glaring at me.

“Yes, it does. He is the reason why you act the way you do and he makes you do weird things.” I said, it may have been lame but it was still a valid reason.

I had to play dirty to win for now on.

“Name one!” He challenged, shooting me an expectant glance.

“How about the time when you both stumbled out of the broom closet, hair mussed, shirt untucked...” I smirked as he tried to shush me, looking frantically around in fear of someone hearing.

“Okay! Okay! Merlin‘s balls, tell the whole world why don't you? It wasn't what it seemed, anyway,” I raised my eyebrow in disbelief.

Of course not, especially when two boys come out of a broom closet looking thoroughly snogged.

I was walking through the halls doing my prefect rounds when I heard it.

The sound of giggles and shushing. I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of it all.

Honestly, couldn’t they find somewhere else to snog; like in a bed would be nice.

Makes my job easier.

“Alright,” I said, in my most authoritative voice, knocking on the broom closet door. I heard muttering from inside and caught my name a few times before silence. I sighed again before knocking louder and warned, “If you do not come out at this minute, I will report this to Professor Dumbledore.

“Fine, fine, Merlin Evans, lighten up.” An annoying, muffled voice  replied before I heard a barking laugh. I narrowed my eyes.

I would know that annoying voice and laugh anywhere.

“Potter! Black!” In the same broom closet? I blinked before the door opened and out stumbled  Black and Potter in tow their hair mussed -or messier in potter’s case- , their shirt untucked, what the hell were they doing?

“Oh. My. Merlin.” I said, looking at them with wide eyes, I put two and two together and got…

“Gay!” I wheezed out, pointing my finger at them. “You guys are gay!” and together

“Ah, ah.” He said, smirking at me and wagging his finger at me. “ That’s not the whole story so…”

“Exactly,” I snapped at him. “That isn’t the whole story, the rest is even weirder.”

Black and Potter looked at me before they turned to each other as if checking each other out before turning back to me and saying, simultaneously, “Seriously, Evan, if I was gay, I wouldn’t snog him!” They finished by pointing a finger at the other.

“Hey! What’s wrong with me?” Black said, as if offended.

Are you kidding me?

“You said the same thing!” Potter accused, glaring at Black.


“So, you’re not my type!”

“Oh…” Black said before he twiddled with his thumbs and muttered, “Why am I not your type?”

Ugh! This was ridiculous! “Look, if you prats are gay, I don’t care.”

They blinked before Black responded, “But we’re not.”

“Then why…” I began before I was interrupted by another voice from the closet.

How many can fit in there?

“Sirius, can I come out yet?” It was Jerkins and Johnson and I groaned as I slapped my forehead.

Who the hell shared broom closets?

Obviously, the Marauders did.

“This is too disturbing. Why would you even consider snogging in the same broom closet?” I asked, and they both shrugged before they replied.

“We’re best friends, it’s not that weird.” Black said while Potter responded, “It was all Sirius’ idea.”

“Traitor.” Black muttered, glaring at Potter who seemed unfazed as he only shrugged.

“Payback for cutting my hair.” He responded , glaring back at Black.

Black threw his hands up, in defeat, before he said, “Let it go, James!”

“Can you guys shut up for one minute!” I said, glaring at them. Jerkins and Johnson had left, not wanting to get into trouble, though, I don’t think Potter and Black noticed.

“So, let me get this straight; you are out after curfew because you two decided that it would be…convenient to share a broom closet to snog?”

“That’s about it, simple right?” Black said, smiling.

“How can four seventeen-year-olds, one having an abnormal fat head, by the way,” I added, quickly, which resulted in Potter giving me an indignant look. “…fit in a small broom closet again?”

“Something called magic, Evans, look it up.” Black said, as if I was slower than he was.


“And that’s why you hate Sirius?” Potter asked, raising an eyebrow as if in disbelief. “Because he convinces me to do stupid things? Why, Evans, I didn’t know you cared.”

“Not for you, stupid, for poor little Remus who is stuck with you guys as friends. The poor boy.” I said, shaking my head sadly at the loss of a great mind.

“What? Remus? He does those thing willin…”

“And I hate you more for staying friends with the bastard after what he did.” I interrupted Potter, and changing the subject entirely, recalling a certain memory from fifth year.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, giving me a curious look.

“He betrayed Remus and Remus is my friend.” I stated, simple as that.

By the look on Potter’s face, it seemed he had a pretty good idea of what the memory was.

But that was impossible, he didn’t even know I was there at the time it had happened.

I was standing behind the doors of the hospital wing, watching as the events before me unfolded. I had never seen Remus so broken, Black so serious (no pun intended), or Potter so furious.

This was not the Marauders I knew.

What had happened?

“It was just a joke,” What was? What had happened to make the Marauders as they were?

“A joke?” Potter asked, in a grim voice, glaring at Black. “If I didn’t save Snape, he would have died, Sirius, died! This, what happened tonight, was not a joke. Death is never a joke.”

Severus almost died and Potter saved him but how?

What happened!

“Stop.” Potter said, his head bowed and hands clenched. “I get it, let’s move on.” I looked at him, for a moment, before I protested  ”But, Sirius, what he did was un…” I was stopped by Potter’s shouting.

“Shut up, Evans,” He yelled, rising from to his feet but lowering his voice. “I get it, let‘s just go on to the next one.”

“Don’t tell me to shut up, what is wrong with you, you prat?” I was getting angrier by the moment.

“No, Evans, what is wrong with you? Don’t you have any sense of privacy?  Why did you eavesdrop on our conversation? You had no right to listen to what we were saying!” He yelled before picking up the notebook and throwing it at me, I caught it before it hit my face, I glared at him as he continued.

“Here, have it, I get it. I’ll stop bothering you…just don’t bring that up again.” He sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and left through the portrait hole.

I was dumbfounded, what just happened? How did this become so serious and why did that memory make Potter so angry?

I got up, grabbing the notebook, I opened the portrait door and left in search for him.

I had to find him.

End of chapter.

A/n: Whoa, I didn’t see that coming. got the idea from one of my reviewers who left the idea of Lily and James fighting so this is it. Next chapter won’t be part of the list but more of a detour it will determine if this story will finish or not because if I make James give up then end of story but I don’t think I will.