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Along Came Sirius Black by BreaKasey

Format: Novella
Chapters: 7
Word Count: 15,035
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Mild Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse

Genres: General
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC

First Published: 01/24/2007
Last Chapter: 06/04/2012
Last Updated: 06/04/2012

Summary:
Lucy Geller, a seventh year Gryffindor has discovered she is pregnant. Sirius Black is the father. She never really knew him. But now, they're going to have a baby.


Chapter 1: What?
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September, 22. Marauders’ last year at Hogwarts.




 




No, it can’t be, Lucy Geller decided staring at her green glowing stomach. She took the test again to make sure. Her stomach glowed green. It’s impossible, she thought. I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t be. But, no matter how many times Lucy told herself she wasn’t pregnant the results of the test didn’t change. Each time she took the test her stomach glowed green.



The first question that pops into a single woman’s head when she finds out she’s pregnant is usually: Who’s the father? Lucy was different. The first question that popped into her head when she discovered she was pregnant was about Quidditch. How the hell am I going to play Quidditch in this state?



Stupid baby, she thought, it’s going to ruin my seventh year. I was going to have such a good year. I was supposed to have a boyfriend…a sudden concern interrupted Lucy’s thoughts. Who’s the father, she finally thought. She started to list all of her boyfriends in the past five months. Bryce, no they hadn’t slept together. Owen? No, she dumped him after a week. Dylan and she had slept together, but she had taken a potion to prevent pregnancy. Lucy hadn’t dated anyone else in the past year. Who could have gotten her pregnant?



Then it occurred to her: she had a fling with Sirius Black in August. And they had slept together. And she hadn’t taken anything to prevent pregnancy. How could I have been so stupid, she asked herself. I let Sirius Black get me pregnant. I am having his baby.




Oh god, she thought, I’m having Sirius Black’s baby. What the hell am I going to do?




Dumbledore. He was Lucy’s only option. She didn’t want to leave school and Dumbledore was the only one who could help her. Lucy needed to go to Dumbledore.



She looked around the dormitory; everyone else had already gone to Hogsmeade. She was staying in for the day. Lucy rushed out of the dormitory and made her way to Dumbledore’s office.




The halls weren’t crowded which would make it easier for Lucy to have a run in with Peeves. Damn it, she thought running into the accursed poltergeist.



“Ooo lookie it’s Lucy Geller,” Peeves chimed. Lucy scowled. “Ooo, Geller’s being mean to the poltergeist.” Peeves cried bursting into a fit of fake tears. Stupid dramatic, Lucy thought using Peeves tears to slip out of his view. She ran as fast as she could towards Dumbledore’s office. Breathless, she finally arrived.




“Shit,” Lucy said quietly outside Dumbledore’s office. “I don’t have the password.” But as soon as the words came out of her mouth Dumbledore the statues moved and Dumbledore came out. “Oh,” muttered Lucy.




“Miss Geller may I ask you what you are doing here on a Hogsmeade weekend?” Dumbledore smiled knowingly.



“Well, I, er…” Lucy stuttered and bit her lip.



“Obviously, you have something to speak with me about.” Dumbledore said, “Why don’t you come up and we’ll talk. I’m guessing it’s an urgent matter,” Lucy nodded nervously. She was having qualms about telling Dumbledore. He was a good man, but…




Lucy followed Dumbledore up and took a seat across from him. “Lemon drop?” he asked. Lucy shook her head. “Well, Miss Geller, what is it you were going to tell me.”




“I…er…Imuhpregnunt,” Lucy said quickly. She looked down.




“I didn’t catch that Miss Geller. Would you care to say that again?” Dumbledore asked. “I would advise you to just come out with it. It’s much easier.”




Lucy took a deep breath and did just as Dumbledore suggested. “I’m pregnant,” she stated.




An astounded look appeared on Dumbledore’s face. He hadn’t been expecting that.



Lucy, who seemed more comfortable now that she had gotten her big confession out, decided to speak again. “I want to stay in school Professor, but I don’t want to be mocked because I’m pregnant. I don’t want anyone to find out about my pregnancy. I’ll be called a… well you know. But that will be hard if I’m staying in a dormitory with three other girls.” Lucy finished breathing deeply.




Dumbledore nodded, regaining his knowing disposition. His eyes twinkled, and Lucy relaxed. “I think we can work it out Miss Geller,” he said. “There is a spell that can hide pregnancy, but it doesn’t last all day. We’ll need to move you into your own dormitory. We will have to pretend that you have some sort of illness, that being the only reason a student can have their own dormitory.” Dumbledore smiled. “Do you think you could handle that?” he asked.



Lucy nodded apprehensively. It seemed to easy, “What’s the catch?” she asked.




“There is no catch, but we will have to ask you a few questions Miss Geller,” Dumbledore responded. Lucy agreed. “We’ll start with the predictable question. Who is the father?”




Lucy shrunk back. It wasn’t that she was ashamed; it was just that she and Sirius hadn’t even dated. It was more of a one night stand type thing. “Sirius Black,” she whispered almost inaudibly, but Dumbledore heard.



Dumbledore, for some reason wasn’t surprised. Sirius always had a reputation for being a manipulating ladies man, but he wasn’t known to go around sleeping with people. He was smarter than that.




But, Dumbledore seemed to be expecting Sirius to be the father. Dumbledore knew something Lucy didn’t. “I suggest you tell him Miss Geller,”




No way, Lucy thought. There is no way I’m telling Sirius Black that I’m having his baby. We’re not even friends. Lucy nodded to Dumbledore anyway.




“We’ll have to get you set up to your new situation Miss Geller,” Dumbledore said interrupting her thoughts. “Now let’s talk about what you will have to do." 



Author's Note: Sorry this isn't that great. i'll try to improve it. I just wanted to get it out.

Disclaimer: J.K's the inventor of this lovely world. I'm just borrowing.


Chapter 2: Talking with Sirius
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Disclaimer: I really do wonder why we need disclaimers. Aren't people smart enough to realize I'm not the genious behind the wizarding world and all the jazz. That would be J.K. Rowling. I'm just borrowing.


Lucy cried as she packed her belongings. She was leaving the dormitory. She was actually leaving the dormitory. Not that she was really all that sad to be leaving.  Her best friend, Lily, had her own dormitory being Head Girl. And she didn’t really like the other girls in the dormitory. They were to materialistic and conceited. It was more the realization that she wasn’t going to be normal anymore. She was going to be alone all the time.  And she was going to have a baby.


Dumbledore had explained to her that they would lie and tell everyone she had a muggle illness called epilepsy. Epilepsy was a neurological condition that caused a person to have seizures.  She would need constant supervision because of she was epileptic and they didn’t want to have to give the other girls constant supervision so she was given her own dormitory.



Lucy was given a dormitory closer to the divination room. She had her own password (Aloysius Snuffleupagus), she had her own portrait hole entrance (a drunken noble who seemed to be impersonating Louis XV), she had her own common room (which happened to be designed after the Gryffindor one), she had her own bathroom (fully stocked with towels and water), and she had her own bedroom (decorated her favorite color: green). She even had a kitchen (being that pregnant women are always hungry.)  It was all incredible.



Lucy walked around her dormitory studying the place. It was beautiful, but it lacked something. It didn’t make her feel comfortable, or relaxed, or welcome. Its perfection prevented her out from calling it home, as she had the Gryffindor dormitory. It was a showcase that she was living in. She walked into her picture perfect room. Something’s wrong, she thought. It doesn’t look lived in. She lied down on her four poster bed and cried.


~ * ~



September 24


In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lucy sat between Lily and Sirius Black. She was nervous. Lucy knew Lily could tell she was lying about her epilepsy. And Sirius Black was right there.



Professor Holland droned on in a lecture about his previous jobs and qualifications. Lucy traveled into her own world. She looked to her left to see Sirius Black sleeping on his desk. Am I going to tell him, she asked herself. What could she do? Lucy was smart enough to know she’d have to tell him eventually.


“Psst,” a voice whispered from her right. It was Lily. “What’s going on?”


Great, Lucy thought, she knows something. 


“What do you mean?” Lucy asked playing dumb.



“You know perfectly well what I mean.” Lily stated a bit annoyed. “About you having ‘epilepsy’ and all.” Lily knew.


Think quick, Lucy commanded herself. If Lily found out she was pregnant … “Well, we found out this summer,” Lucy whispered carefully. She had to had the whole story and be extremely careful with what she said; Lily was smart enough to see through a story with even the tiniest mistake. “And since I had a seizure during Hogsmeade weekend Dumbledore and my father decided I need constant supervision,” That should work, Lucy concluded.



“Your father cared?” Lily asked.



Damn, Lucy screamed in her head.



“He won’t get any insurance coverage if he doesn’t alert the doctors about my seizures so Dumbledore talked to him,” What a brilliant liar I am, Lucy praised.



“Oh,” Lily whispered. From the puzzled expression on her face Lucy could tell that she was trying to contemplating what she had said. Lily still didn’t believe her. “We’ll have to talk more about this later,’ Lily demanded.



“Fun,” Lucy murmured under her breath. Lily didn’t hear.



Lucy looked to her left again. Sirius had been on her mind since she had found out about the baby. They hadn’t said anything to each other (with the exception of the occasional “hello”) since the summer.


Sirius glanced her way and smiled that overly confident, drop dead gorgeous smile. Lucy just stared at him. She was in total shock. How could she talk to him without spilling something? For god’s sake, she was carrying his baby! She glanced at her stomach. She wasn’t showing yet.



Sirius noticed Lucy’s strange behavior. She was never one to get nervous. She was almost as confident as he was.



He raised his eyebrows in suspicion and asked, “Hey Lucy what’s wrong?”


Lucy snorted to cover up her nervousness. “Nothing,” she said with attitude. “Why would you think anything’s wrong?”



Sirius laughed and Lucy scowled. She hated people making fun of her. “Well obviously something’s wrong. You never snort and give attitude.”


Lucy scolded herself. How could she have been so foolish? “Whatever,” she muttered. Sirius laughed again. Lucy glared at him. “What do you want?” she asked, malice dripping from every word.


“Just to talk, I guess,” he muttered, a little frightened by her tone.



“Why?” she asked surprised. “We’re not even friends.” It was her turn to raise her eyebrows.


“I guess not. But it’s not like we don’t talk. You and James are close. And we haven’t really talked since the summer



Lucy shuddered. She didn’t want to be reminded about the summer. “James and I are close because my mom worked for his parents and we were family friends.” She responded. “But you do have a point.”


“So you want to talk later, like after dinner or something?” Sirius asked.


“We’ll see,” Lucy smirked, although she had every intention of talking with him.



But Lucy and Sirius didn’t have to wait until dinner to talk. They were paired up in potions. They were concocting a befuddlement draught, which they’d worked on in their fifth year. It wasn’t exactly difficult. And making the potion didn’t require them to focus they were left with plenty of opportunity to talk.


“So, what’s bothering you?” Sirius asked separating the flowers of the sneezewort from the leaves.



“Not much really,” Lucy said while throwing out the flowers.



“Oh right, you expect me to believe that?”


“Yep,”


“Okay, I’ll try again,” he said throwing the sneezewort leaves into the cauldron. “What have you been doing lately Lucy?”


“Oh the usual,” she said smiling and playing along. “You know.”



“What have you been doing.” He asked, laughing.



“Such and such,” she joined him laughing. “Oh shit the scurvy grass.” She threw the plant into the potion and stirred it three times clockwise. “How about you Sirius?” she asked him.



“The same,” he responded. His grey eyes were pouring into her Eden ones. She couldn’t break their gaze. “I noticed you’re not living in Gryffindor dormitory anymore.” He took the spoon from her hand and mixed the potion six times counter clockwise.



“Well, I can’t expect the other Gryffindor girls to put up with constant supervision.” She said. “Don’t you think they would be a little tiny bit annoyed?”


“Yea you’re right.”



“Oh my, Sirius Black just admitted he was wrong,” she gasped adding to the dramatic tone in her voice. “This is a miracle. It should go in the record books.”



“Very funny Miss Geller, but I’m afraid your cheek won’t get you anywhere in life.” Sirius smiled at her.



“How can you be so sure of that Mr. Black. Me and my ‘cheek’ could make a fortune. You just watch and see. One of these days you’ll be a poor beggar and I’ll be rich all because of my cheek.” She added the lovage to the potion and Sirius stirred it. “And when you come to me for money I won’t give you any. Just because you insulted my cheek. So be careful what you say about me.”



Sirius laughed a bit then his expression grew solemn. “But what’s really been bothering you? Be honest Lucy.”



Lucy noticed the change in his tone. He had gone from lighthearted and flippant to serious and earnest. “I guess being sick made me look at things a different way.” She avoided looking at him. There was no way she could lie to his face.


“Did you find out before we saw each other over the summer?” he asked.



Lucy wondered how he could be so comfortable on that subject. They had sex for god’s sake. It was a mystery to Lucy how she could be so comfortable in a conversation with him at all. And here he was talking about having sex with her.



“No, after.” She muttered under her breath.


Sirius heard her nonetheless. “How did you find out?”


Lucy couldn’t lie anymore. She simply said. “Look I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this. I haven’t even talked with Lily yet, and she’s my best friend.”



It wasn’t a lie.



“That’s all right. I understand.” he said. “But am I ever going to hear about this? Am I ever going to find out what’s bothering you? I mean, what’s really bothering you.”



Lucy shook her head slightly. ‘Trust me. You, of all people, are going to find out.”


Sirius nodded unsure of what she was saying. “Just make sure I hear it from you.”



A/N: Dreadfully sorry for the long wait. I'm so so so sorry. I'll try not to be so long again, but i can't make that promise. I hope you liked the new chapter (I'm not quite sure I did)


Chapter 3: Lily
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Disclaimer: I did write Harry Potter, I do own all these characters, I am brilliant. Ha, I wish. It's all JKR's. I'm just an adoring fan wishing I was her.



Early October

 

Halloween approached. It would be the perfect opportunity to tell him. The feast, the Gryffindor party afterward… There was bound to be a time where she could talk to him alone. And Halloween was far enough away, that it gave Lucy enough time to gather the courage to tell him. Halloween was perfect.

 

But what about Lily? Lucy couldn’t decide when to tell her best friend. Lucy was afraid to tell her, and she knew why she was afraid. Lily was the ideal student, the perfectionist. She was everything Lucy wasn’t. Lily never did anything wrong. Maybe once or twice she’d misbehaved, but she’d never done anything seriously wrong. She’d never done anything people would judge her for. Lucy was afraid Lily would be horrified by her. She was afraid Lily would judge her.

 

Lucy knew better than that. She knew Lily loved her and wouldn’t judge her for it. That’s what Lucy loved most about Lily. She was so accepting. But even Lucy’s own conscience couldn’t make her fears disappear.

 

Lucy packed up her schoolbooks and set off for the Great Hall, grabbing a chocolate croissant from her kitchen as she left. It’d been her most recent craving. She was surprised she was having cravings already. She was only a month and half along.

 

As soon as she reached the Great Hall she was hungry again. Lily laughed as she stuffed the French toast down her throat. “You seem like your turning into one of the Marauders.”

 

Lucy turned to face Lily, still chewing the French toast, and scowled. Lily laughed at her expression and said, “At least you eat like them.”

 

Lucy finished chewing and defended, “Maybe I’m growing.”

 

Lily raised her eyebrows in a mocking fashion. “You’re seventeen and a girl. I think you’re done growing,” she informed Lucy.

 

“I didn’t mean tall. I meant wide,” Lucy asserted.

 

“You will be if you keep eating like that.”

 

She already was growing wide – because of the stupid baby. Lucy pushed the thought out of her head immediately. She didn’t want to hate the baby. She wanted to love it.

 

Lucy and Lily made their way to Herbology. They were early, of course. It was time for them to move from Alihotsy to Chinese Chomping Cabbage. However, as it was their first day with the plant, they were only observing it. Lily already knew enough about the plant that if Lucy didn’t feel like listening, she didn’t have to.

 

Lucy started thinking about her life. She wasn’t really sure how her father reacted to the news. He hadn’t sent a response. Lucy took it to mean he hadn’t read the letter. Not that she had expected him to. Time and time after being disappointed by her father, Lucy had learned not to expect anything from him. Even if he had read the letter he wouldn’t have responded anyway. He would have just taken it as another thing to hold against her. But after her seventh year she didn’t think she was going back to the place she didn’t really consider home.

 

Her father had never been that great. He was selfish and rude. He’d never beaten her, but Lucy knew he’d thought about it. She could see it in his eyes. And they were always fighting. She would have been smarter to ignore him, but with all the insults he threw her way she found it impossible. He didn’t care about her. He didn’t lover her. And no matter how much Lucy denied it, it killed her.

 

Lily and she walked out of class together, as usual. But as they were talking Lily made an unexpected statement. “You don’t have epilepsy.” She said it in a quiet voice, so no one else would hear.

 

Lucy stopped walking abruptly. “What?” she breathed.  How could Lily have known?

 

“You don’t have epilepsy. I did some research on it. There’s a magical cure. You don’t have epilepsy.”

 

They started walking again and kept their voices hushed. Lucy didn’t want anyone to hear. Thinking quickly she lied, “The cure takes a while to work. And it takes a long time to make. I do have epilepsy.” She had always prided herself on quick thinking.

 

And Lily had always prided herself on being thorough. “They have a supply of the cure at St. Mungo’s. Epilepsy is rare in witches and wizards, but they’re ready when it comes. And the cure only takes a fortnight to work. You don’t have epilepsy.”

 

Lucy was silent. She didn’t have anything to say. When they went to take their seats in transfiguration, she sat next to James, not Lily. The class passed slowly. Too slowly. James noticed something was wrong with her too. Now he wanted to talk to her. She had begun to hate talking.

 

The bell finally rang and McGonagall reminded them all that NEWTs were approaching and they shouldn’t neglect their studies to spend a day at the lake. So many people listened to that reminder…

 

Lucy picked up all her books, nearly ran to the exit, and took a left out the door. She was heading to her own personal dormitory. No one else was heading the same way. All of the other dormitories were in different directions.

 

“Lucy,” a voice called from down the hall. It was Lily. She was lugging around more books than Lucy even owned. Lily’s books were slowing her down and were intruding on Lucy’s impatience. If it was anyone else Lucy would have walked away and held a grudge against them for a week. But it was Lily, Lucy’s best friend.

And she did feel like running away. Lily figured out her secret, at least half of it. She didn’t want to be confronted. But before Lucy could figure out what to do Lily caught up.

 

“Can we talk?” Lily asked, her books were slipping out of her arms so Lucy took a few from her. “You were avoiding me during class. I know you haven’t been telling me the truth…” she trailed off and Lucy stopped listening.

 

They walked to her dormitory. Lily asked questions and apologized for whatever she could think of the entire walk. They arrived at the portrait and Lucy whispered her password. She beckoned for Lily to follow her into the dormitory all without saying a word.

 

Lily followed in awe. Lucy had changed and it was obvious. The once spunky, naïve outspoken, and almost obnoxious girl was replaced with a more aware, responsible, and subdued introvert. Lucy put her books down on the island in the kitchen and Lily did the same.

 

Conjuring two cups of hot chocolate, Lucy sat at the island. Hesitantly, Lily followed suit. Lucy stared at her hot chocolate. It frightened Lily how serious Lucy had grown. It bothered Lily how much Lucy had changed…

 

“Ask away,” Lucy muttered somewhat bitterly taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

“I know you have questions so ask away. I’ll answer what I can.”

 

Lily started out slowly wording each question carefully, but with each word her curiosity grew and she started speaking quicker, asking more and more questions. She felt like a two year old asking her mother why the sky is blue and the grass is green.

 

“Why did you lie? Did Dumbledore tell you to lie? He must have. What’s so important that you’ve been lying about it? Why couldn’t you tell me?” and so on.

 

Lucy laughed at her, but with a sad laugh. Lily was taken aback. Lucy had no reason to laugh at her. She was asking perfectly sensible questions. “I hadn’t expected you to figure out I didn’t have epilepsy. Dumbledore must know about the cure, but figures no one cares about me enough to research it. When you told me I didn’t have epilepsy I thought you knew something else too.” Lucy said sadly.

 

Lily looked confused, but then she realized what Lucy was talking. “What else?” she muttered to herself. Then in a louder voice, “What else would I know?” Lucy was silent. Soon she would have to tell Lily. And then Lily would start asking the questions that would be difficult for her to answer. The questions she didn’t want to answer. “Oh” Lily suddenly realized what Lucy was talking about. “Well, what is it? What do you have, to get your own dormitory and all?”

 

Lucy smile faltered. It would be impossible for her to lie to Lily. Lucy couldn’t lie straight to her best friend’s face. Lucy couldn’t just tell her the truth either. But if she didn’t say anything would it destroy their friendship? Would Lily hate for sleeping with Sirius?

 

Lucy’s eyes filled with tears. Lily, sensing Lucy was about to break down, walked around to Lucy’s side of the table to comfort her. She sat down next to her and hugged her. Lily had always been there to comfort Lucy when she was upset, Lucy depended on her. She took for granted Lily would always be there, not giving a second thought to why Lily was friends with her. Why would Lily befriend such a self-important narcissist?

 

Lucy envied Lily.  Lily had everything Lucy wanted ever since she was a little girl.  She had a loving family, intelligence, compassion, and people who liked her for herself.  Lily was what Lucy wanted to be.  It wasn’t that Lily didn’t have her own faults; she was simply a better person. A good person.

 

Lucy rubbed her eyes and wiped away the tears, and she glanced at the clock.  She had been crying for a half an hour.  And Lily had stayed to help her through. Lucy mustered up all her courage and looked up at Lily.  Her eyes were red and misty.  The corners of her lips turned up slightly in a regretful smile.

 

“I don’t know if I can tell you,” Lucy whispered so quietly Lily could barely make out the words.  “It’s complicated.” She explained, using the two words every person has used to avoid the truth.

 

“It’s okay,” Lily coaxed. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s your business.”

 

“No Lily, I do have to tell you. If I don’t tell you now I’ll never tell you.” she sobbed. Tears rushed down her cheeks. Her eyes were squinty and she could feel her nose getting red. She was so afraid. She couldn’t loose Lily. She couldn’t loose her only friend. “Just promise me one thing. Please.”

 

“Of course,” whispered Lily, not wanting to upset Lucy.

 

“You won’t hate me because of what I’m going to tell you. I know it’ll change your opinion of me, but promise me you won’t hate me. I couldn’t bear it if you hated me. You’re my only friend.” That was their only time during their conversation that Lucy had looked Lily in the eyes.

 

Lily felt her eyes welling up as she nodded. Lucy was her only true friend. She may have been friends with a lot of people, but none of them knew her like Lucy did. She would never hate Lucy. No matter what was wrong, even if Lucy was a murderer, she would always love Lucy. She was her best friend.

 

Lucy took a deep breath, then, “I’m pregnant.”

 

Lily stared at her, shocked. She hadn’t expected that. Maybe she expected Lucy was depressed and needed space, or that Lucy was sick, but with something different. But pregnant? Lucy?

 

“You’re pregnant?” She asked, just to be sure. Lucy nodded, confirming it. “You’re having a baby. Lucy that’s a good thing. I’m happy for you.”

 

Lucy looked up from her hot chocolate. “You really think so?” she asked a smile starting to form on her tear stained face.

 

“Of course I do. I’m going to be an auntie.” She gave Lucy another hug, this time in a happier mood. “But Lucy there are things I do want to know. If you want to tell me.”

 

It was coming. Lily was finally going to ask Lucy the question whose answer would make Lily hate her. “When, and with who?” Lily finally asked.

 

“Oh Lily, you are going to hate me now.” Lucy felt tears welling in her eyes.

 

“I won’t, I swear.”

 

“In August, with Sirius Black.”

 

Lily gasped. She hated Black, maybe he had matured over the summer, but she still disliked him. He was an arrogant lout. But she didn’t hate Lucy. She voiced what she felt.

 

“Really?” Lucy questioned her. “You don’t hate me.” That made Lucy feel so much better. Lily would be with her throughout this.

 

“I could never hate you. Besides, this means I’m going to be an auntie.” She left out anything she had to say about Sirius. She knew it would upset Lucy.

 

Lucy smiled, a big happy smile. She had told Lily, and it had gone well. But then she remembered she had to talk to James. And she had to tell Sirius. Her smile faded with these thoughts. She was so scared.

 

 A/N: Sorry for the long wait. So so sorry. It's been since March. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

Chapter 4: Because he's James
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Disclaimer: And if I did create this I would most certainly be writing here.

Mid October:


Lily had researched epilepsy and discovered there was a cure. Things like that were not supposed to happen. Lucy couldn't risk exposure. She had to be sure it didn't happen again.

 So she scheduled a meeting with Dumbledore. And once again she visited his office.

"I suppose you're here to see me about Miss Evans recent discovery," Dumbledore said after Lucy took a seat.

She looked up at him astonished yet again. He was really a mysterious man, Dumbledore.

Lucy looked down tears welling in her eyes. It shouldn't have upset her, what Dumbledore said, but for some reason it did. With what one could hardly call a lift of her head, Lucy nodded.

Dumbledore looked over his spectacles at the girl in front of him. Lucy may not have realized it, but her well being was at risk. If she didn't tell certain people about the baby soon, she would end up much too deep in this situation. She was afraid and Dumbledore could sense it easily.

"It won't happen again Miss Geller," Dumbledore stood as he spoke and made his way to the other side of his office. "You may not be aware, but there is no cure for epilepsy.

It seems that Miss Evans knows you well enough to know you hadn't researched your fake disease. It is my belief she invented a cure and all possibilities of the cure being administered to trick you into telling her the truth. I myself must congratulate her; it was a brilliant plan.

I suggest, Miss Geller that you focus on telling Mr. Black rather than worrying about being discovered. I can assure you we have taken utmost care in preventing you exposure. And if someone does find out I'm sure you will come up with a good lie."

Lucy had already been formulating one in her mind. But she still wasn't satisfied with Dumbledore's speech. She needed more assurance.

Sensing this Dumbledore answered her before she'd even spoken. "I understand you are afraid Miss Geller, but with the help of Mr. Black I'm sure you'll see that there is nothing to worry about."

Lucy nodded and stood up to exit the office. On her way out she stopped to look back at Dumbledore, but it was Fawkes' eyes which met hers.

Bewildered, Lucy walked out the doors even faster. Passing the gargoyles, she was spotted by James. She'd been dreading his encounter almost as much as she'd been dreading telling Sirius.

Lucy looked up as he called her name. She pretended not to notice and walked in the other direction, but he caught up with her.

"So," he began "It's been a while since we've talked." James hung his head in the awkward silence that followed.

"It's been a while since my mom died," she replied rancorously. James head immediately snapped up when she said this.

"We're still friends Lucy," he informed her unnecessarily. It wasn't true: they'd talked after her mom died. Even if their families stopped talking, James never failed to be there for Lucy when she needed him.

Lucy quickened her pace, but much to her dismay James kept up. "I hear you have epilepsy," he tried started up their conversation again.

"If you want to talk to me why don't you start on a more positive note?" Lucy retorted. It wasn't like her. There was something putting her in a bad mood and James could tell.

He grabbed her arm and his strength held her from walking any further. "What's bothering you?" he asked while she struggled to escape his grip.

When she didn't respond he decided they need to talk somewhere more private and pulled her into the Room of Requirement. Unknown to James, Lucy was already aware of the room's existence and not at all impressed when the door appeared in the wall.

Inside two chairs and a coffee table were set up in front of a fire. Lucy walked in and took a seat on the hearth. James stood behind her.

"Please at least try to cooperate Lucy. I just want to talk."

 Lucy turned to face him and nodded shyly.

"What happened this summer? You've changed," James remarked. He always managed to ruin whatever good he'd started. But since he didn't know about the summer so she let it go and just ignored the summer part of his comment.

"I have epilepsy. It can put people in a sour mood." She answered staring into the fire.

 "So you do have epilepsy," he sounded surprised.

Lucy's head turned round and she looked him straight in the eye, gaping.

"Only people who know you can tell," James said. "You have nothing to worry about, not too many people know you."

"Oh that's a great way to help James!" Lucy replied sarcastically. She would have to give up on him one of these days. 

However, Lucy knew she had to be serious so she continued. "How did you know anyway?"

"A couple of things, actually," James followed her serious tone. "You wouldn't have stopped playing Quidditch for some sickness and you wouldn't be so bitter either. But mostly because your too afraid to have something like epilepsy."

Lucy stared up at him wide eyed. Maybe she was wrong. He really did know her.

"I'm not afraid," she denied. Her voice was monotonous and James didn't believe her.

"You are," he informed her "But you don't have to be."

Lucy's tears returned and James noticed. He sat down next to her and gave her a hug. "You're like a sister to me Lucy," he said. "I don't want you to be afraid."

She pulled away from their hug and wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I have to be afraid. Don't you see? It's my way of coping with things."

James looked confused for a minute, "What are you coping with?"

Lucy turned back to the fire and shook her head. "I can't tell you James." She grabbed her bag and left the room.

If she told James he would tell Sirius. But she had to tell him herself. It was just something she had to do.

When she arrived back at her dormitory she remembered Lily and her were supposed to be working on Halloween costumes.

As usual Halloween was fast approaching and neither of them had costumes for the Gryffindor Halloween party. Lucy had always been better at coming up with costumes than Lily had, but this year she didn’t think she could.

So it was up to Lily to decide on costumes for their final year at Hogwarts. This year where they would disappear from the common room, as had every other seventh year class. Throughout their six previous years at Hogwarts they wondered where the seventh years would disappear to during the Halloween party. They were finally to find out.

Lily wasn’t expecting anything big, unlike the rest of the seventh years. She figured it wouldn’t be anywhere in particular at all. However, Lucy was expecting to receive clues as where to go throughout the day.

So this year Lucy’s costume had to be perfect. She was most definitely not dressing up as a dead self important French queen as Lily had suggested.

“But she’d make a great costume,” Lily argued.

“How many people would get the costume Lily? Besides, she was the downfall of the French monarch. If you want someone to dress up as her you can.”

“I don’t know who to dress up as,” exasperated Lily.

Lucy shook her head and laughed at her best friend.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Lily exclaimed. “You don’t even know who you’re going to be.”

Lucy shrugged, but Lily didn’t see. Lily was flipping through her collection of Chocolate Frog Cards looking for someone to dress up as. “Maybe I’ll be Artemis,” Lucy suggested.

Lily didn’t hear her as she had just found a card with a witch she could dress up as. “Morgan Le Fay,” she said quickly gathering all the cards together again. “I’m being Morgan Le Fay.”

Lucy had to admit it was the perfect costume for Lily. She would really be able to pull the Middle Ages look. And Lucy was just dying to see Lily act as an evil sorceress.

The seventh years would always get really into their costumes. Props, acting, magic… It was all part of the seventh year’s costumes. Seventh year costumes were overdone, always. Maybe Lucy would convince James to be King Arthur, she could use a laugh.

“Well now that you’ve come up with such a great costume Artemis just doesn’t seem so great anymore.”

“Ha!” Lily exclaimed. “I’m finally first to come up with a good costume.” She changed the subject slightly, “I’m so excited to plan out my act.”

 Lucy’s brained seemed to be working fast, “Maybe I’ll be Guinevere. And we can get the rest of the year to be other people in the Tale. And then our act can be the actually tale. Wouldn’t that be amazing?” Lucy turned to Lily, eyes wide with excitement. She’d already forgotten about her awkward conversation with James.

“Lucy you’re brilliant,” Lily screamed. Automatically she grabbed all her stuff (including the cup of tea Lucy had made for her) and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” Lucy asked.

“To tell everyone, of course,” Lily replied. “Hurry up, I can’t wait all day.”

Lucy quickly got her cup of tea and followed Lily out of her dormitory.


 


“So is everyone ready for the act?” James was, of course, conducting their last meeting before Halloween. He claimed it was because he was King Arthur, but everyone knew it was simply because he liked the attention.

Naturally James had choose to be King Arthur. Lucy hadn’t even had to suggest it. Though Lucy was sure if Lily was Guinevere he would have chosen to be Lancelot.

But Sirius was stuck being the right hand stud. And he and Lucy would have to act in love – just her luck. Sirius seemed to be entertained by the situation, but considering where Lucy stood she didn’t see how she could pretend to make out with him in front of the entire house. Or actually make out with him, according to Sirius.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like him – she really truly did. She was simple afraid of confronting him. And she was planning on telling him Halloween night.

Sirius, although he knew something was bothering Lucy, was completely ignorant to her fear of him. To Lucy he seemed to thing their summer fling meant nothing to her. It just showed how much little he knew.

But no matter what, he still tried to spend a lot of time with her. He would always sit next to her when they were planning their Halloween act. Partly because Lily and James were always sitting together and he was left alone just like her.

This all was much to Regina’s disappointment. Regina, one of the other girls in their year, had liked Sirius throughout all of their years at Hogwarts. Most fittingly she was dressing up as Elaine, Lady of Shalot. And her best friend was dressing up as Elaine Lady of the Lake. The two of them spent the group’s rehearsal time with Timothy and Rob, the other boys in their year.

Timothy was acting as Sir Kay. He’d wanted to be Merlin, but Remus was given that role. Rob, however, was lucky enough to play Mordred, the role he wanted. Peter had wanted that role, but the group had come to a consensus: Rob would definitely be better in the part. So Peter was stuck with Bedivere, a knight of the round table. 

After a long break from rehearsing James finally decided to end their meeting. “Everyone ready for tomorrow night?” he checked. They all nodded rather disinterested. It’d been a long rehearsal and they were all bored to death. “Perfect. And I really mean that. This better be perfect.” They were all certain James was trying to threaten them.

“Don’t I get a thank you James?” Lucy asked jokingly.

“Why do you get a thank you?”

“Whose idea was this?” she raised her eyebrows, challenging him.

“Oh right,” he muttered not thanking. Instead he turned to Lily and the two left the meeting together.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and she laughed at James. Just as she was leaving she noticed Sirius wink at her. Her smile grew.


A/N: I'm awfully slow at posting. And I'm awfully sorry about that.

Chapter 5: Halloween
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It was infuriating, having to eat properly. Madame Winthers, the nurse, had put Lucy on a strict diet. She was used to being able to eat all the crap she liked, but of course she had to go and get knocked up. And now Lucy had to eat properly.

The Halloween feast sat in front of Lucy beckoning her to forget about the child growing in her stomach and eat all the caramel apples and pumpkin pastries she wanted. She eyed the still melted chocolate that iced the Halloween cake in the middle of the table, hypnotized by the smell. She reached out to take one of the perfectly pre-cut pieces of the fudgy chocolate cake, but Lily slapped her hand away and gave her a look that said “don’t even dare.”

Lucy pouted at Lily. “What?” she asked innocently, “I’m allowed to have sweets every once in a while.

Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes. Before taking another bite of her healthy roasted chicken she said, “Look at your plate, Luce.” It was then Lucy looked down at the plate in front of her and remembered she’d already filled it with apple tarts, pumpkin pie, chocolate pastries, and caramel candied walnuts.

“I don’t even like walnuts” she declared, but proceeded to eat them anyway. Lily tried adding broccoli and chicken to her plate, but Lucy just shoved her away.

James took a seat across from her followed by Sirius, Remus, and Peter. “Wow Luce, real healthy meal you’ve got there,” he commented upon seeing her stuff her face with all sorts of Halloween treats.

Lucy looked up, her mouth still full of apple pie and just stared at him for a full minute. He opened his mouth to say something, but she got there first, “Don’t you say anything James. You eat way worse than this every day.” James just laughed at her, making her frustration escalate. But before she could retaliate James served himself a piece of ham and Lucy got a whiff of it, making bile rise in the back of her throat. Before she gagged she got up from the table and ran out of the hall.

James furrowed his eyebrows, “What’s up with her?” he asked. Lily just glared at him, then got up from the table following Lucy to the bathroom. She found Lucy leaning over the toilet in one of the stalls, regurgitating all the crap she’d just eaten. Lily pulled her long dark hair back as Lucy continued to throw up.

“This is gross,” Lucy stated, after she through. She wiped the vomit away from her mouth with a washcloth. “Pregnancy is gross.”

Lily washed her hands and let Lucy mull over her situation for a minute before suggesting they go back to Lucy’s dormitory to prepare for the party that night. The suggestion immediately brightened Lucy’s mood. She came out of her self-pity and embraced the excitement she felt at finally finding out where seventh years disappear to during the party.

Lily, although excited, didn’t even come close to the anticipation Lucy felt. Unlike most of the other seventh years, Lily was still convinced that they would just wander around the school. But when they got to Lucy’s dormitory there was a piece of paper addressed to her bearing the Gryffindor symbol. “Look Lily,” she exclaimed. “It’s a clue.” Lily abandoned her doubts and actually got excited about it. Lucy ran to the countertop, throwing her bag down on the couch. She ripped open the letter and a confused look appeared on her face. There was one word on the paper and Lucy didn’t know what to make of it. What did “Dissendium” even mean?

Lily looked at it and for the first time was excited about Halloween. “Do you know what it means?” she asked. Lucy just stared at her with a look that told Lily she was clueless. Lily, always the sensible one, knew that she needed to help Lucy get out of her disappointed stupor. “Get your costume and come with me,” she commanded. “We’re getting ready in Gryffindor. Maybe there’s more clues there.”

Lucy immediately perked up. She ran quickly around gathering her things to bring with her to Gryffindor. The entire walk up to the tower Lucy chatted endlessly about their skit. Lucy, who was rarely modest, was convinced that the idea she’d come up with would make for the best skit Gryffindor had ever seen.

When they got to Gryffindor tower Lily gave the password to the Fat Lady and no sooner than she opened the door was Lucy running in. she dashed up to the girl’s dormitory and didn’t even ask before tearing open the clue that lay on Lily’s bed. The word on Lily’s was “eyed”. When Lily arrived in the dormitory Lucy turned on her heals and started ranting.
“Seriously Lily, what kind of clues are these supposed to be? ‘eyed’? ‘Dissendium’? I don’t get it,” Lucy was pacing back and forth in the dorm when she noticed there were notes on Regina and Andrea’s, Regina’s best friend, beds. “Lils,” Lucy squealed upon seeing the notes. “There’s more.” Lucy was jumping up and down on Lily’s bed at this point. “Let’s open them.”

Lily walked over to the bed and pulled Lucy off and sat her down on the edge of the bed. “Lucy,” she said, as if speaking to a five year old who’d just stole a cookie from the cookie jar, “We can’t do that. They’re not ours.” Lily spoke very slowly and Lucy pouted. Lucy had learned how to use her puppy face to get what she wanted from friends and professors. Lily didn’t cave. “No,” she said simply, knowing what Lucy was trying to do.

This time Lucy didn’t go into one of her upset moods. Lily was thankful for this. Over the past week Lucy had been having drastic moods swings and Lily was glad she didn’t have to deal with it. Tonight was Halloween, both of their favorite holidays, Lily wanted it to go smoothly. But it was getting harder for Lily to contain her own excitement. This was their seventh year Halloween. It was their last one at Hogwarts and Lily couldn’t wait for the party to begin. At half to midnight the seventh years would perform for the house and then be off to wherever they were going. Lily, like Lucy, was now impatient to find out where that would be.

“They should be back from the feast in a few minutes,” Lily said, checking the old clock that hung over the doorway.

Lucy was behaving like a child, clapping her hands in excitement. “I still think we should open them. We shouldn’t be punished because they’re pigs.”

“Lucy,” Lily scolded. “Look who’s talking.”

Lucy looked up at Lily with her big Eden eyes, acting all innocent. “I am eating for two.”

“That’s going to be one fat kid,” Lily muttered under her breath, but Lucy still heard.

“It’ll take after its father then,” she retorted, but before she finished speaking Lucy clamped a hand over her mouth. They hadn’t talked about Sirius with respect to the baby at all yet. It was a touchy subject and that comment left them in an awkward silence.

Lily was about to say something when Regina and Andy walked in the door. Lucy, eager to ease the awkward silence between her and Lily, jumped up to greet them. “We’ve got clues about tonight!,” she exclaimed, regaining the excitement she’d displayed earlier.

Regina, who had never really like Lucy looked at her like a crazy person. Andy, on the other hand, had always been friendly with Lucy and immediately took on Lucy’s excitement. She ran to the bed and opened her clue. “Dukes?” she read.

Lucy and Andy exchanged confused looks. “Mine said ‘Dissendium’,” Lucy explained. “And Lily’s said ‘eyed’.”

Upon hearing the clues, Regina became impatient to find out what hers said. She ran to her bed to open her clue. She reveled in the attention she was getting as she opened the clue. She dragged on the moment, opening her letter slowly. “Ready?” she asked before reading.

“Just read it already,” Lucy demanded. Regina glared at her but read anyway.

“Corridor.”

“That’s it?” Lucy asked. “Corridor?” Regina nodded. “Boring,” Lucy declared, but she moved on from her disappointment quickly enough. “Let’s go find out what the boys got.” She bounded out of the room, and made her way to the common room. The boys were already waiting there, clues in hand.

“So what have you got?” asked James, taking control of the whole thing. Lucy rolled her eyes and put the girls clues down in front of her. James took a look at them while Sirius recounted what the boys got.

“Remus got witch, James got honey, Rob got third, Timothy got one, Peter got celler, and I got floor,” Sirius recounted. “We figured third and floor go together, but we didn’t understand the rest of them.”

Lucy replied, “We got Dissendium, eyed, dukes, and corridor, but I don’t really think any of them go together. In fact, I’m pretty sure that dissendium isn’t even a word. Though I’ve never actually read the dictionary so you’ll have to check with Remus or Lily on that one.”

Remus and Lily reddened in embarrassment at Lucy’s comment and Sirius laughed. Lucy smiled upon hearing Sirius’ amusement at her comment. Despite the secret she was hiding from him, he was the kind of person Lucy loved getting attention from.
James lay out all the clues on the floor in front of them so that they read, “Dissendium, eyed, corridor, dukes, one, cellar, witch, honey, third floor.” Remus sat down in front and started piecing it together. “Well I don’t think floor and cellar go together. They’d contradict each other.”

Andy objected. “What if it was referring to the floor of a cellar,” she asked.
Remus looked at the words again, “We don’t have an ‘of’ or an ‘a’ so I don’t think that would work out.”

As the group continued debating over what word fit where, Lucy took a seat on the ground to reorganize the words. Sirius noticed what she was doing and joined her. Silently they rearranged the words, trying to get the right combination. They didn’t need to talk to know what each other was thinking. They communicated through their own silent language. There seemed to be a connection floating through them, linking their thoughts. It flowed perfectly and before the arguing was over Lucy and Sirius were finished arranging the letters.

“Dissendium: one-eyed witch statue: third floor corridor: Honeydukes,” James read, slightly confused. But no sooner than the words were out of his mouth did he understand. “We’re going to Hogsmeade,” he exclaimed. “Party time,” he crooned, eyeing Lily.

Regina was eyeing Sirius, and Sirius was well aware of it. He walked up behind Lucy and whispered in her ear, “Promise you’ll keep her away from me tonight?” She laughed, knowing full well how much Regina annoyed him.

Lucy turned to face him and smiled mischievously, “What would you do to me if I let her loose on you tonight?” Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. “Ok, ok,” Lucy said throwing her hands up in surrender, “I won’t encourage anything.”

“Thank you,” Sirius replied, his face completely serious.

Lucy stood up. “I’d better be going. We still have to get ready for tonight.”

Sirius followed suit. “Yeah, guess we do. You ready for it?”

Lucy smirked, “Just you wait. Those other Gryffindors don’t know what they’re up against.”

Lucy exited the common room for the girls’ dormitory to get into costume. Sirius went up to the boys dormitory.

The girls were in a flurry of excitement while they readied themselves for the Halloween party. While the girls bustled around, Lucy moved slowly, her mind elsewhere. Halloween was the night she planned to tell Sirius about the baby, but things had changed since she made that decision. They’d been friendly since she found out, talking during potions and she’d even seen him in the library a few times. Quidditch practice has started up again and instead of exclusively talking to Andy and James like she had the previous years, Lucy had been spending more time in practice with Sirius.

The friendship growing between Lucy and Sirius had changed her mind about the baby. She didn’t want to tell him. It was too early in their friendship to be placing something like that upon his shoulders. She had to admit to herself that most of the reason she was talking to Sirius was because of the baby, but she didn’t want to think of it like that. Lucy had grown to genuinely respect and like Sirius.

Maybe it was what had passed between them over the summer, but Lucy found herself trusting him completely. Initially he’d seemed like judgmental, pompous ass, but when she got to know him he was different. Lucy respected him, partially due to James’ respect for him, but mostly because he’d shown her a different side of him.
In light of everything that had been going on, a baby seemed like the last thing Lucy would want to burden him with. His family had disowned him, James’ had been appointed Head Boy and was spending less time with him, and his favorite relative had died. After learning all that she didn’t want to tell him anything that would make his life more difficult. Lucy had learned so much about him over the summer and she hadn’t forgotten any of it. The last thing she wanted to do was complicate his life with a baby. He didn’t need it at the moment. She would wait a bit longer before telling him, for his own sake.

 


 


Chapter 6: Summer: Part 1
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Disclaimer: I'm not claiming to any of this, nor am I claiming to JK's brilliance.

 

A month and a half in Hogsmeade with her step aunt who had a superiority complex and her bitch of daughter: Lucy's paradise. For the first time since the death of her mother, Lucy would be spending her summer away from her father. It would be paradise.

 

In the excitement of the trip Lucy packed her entire wardrobe and drew three hundred galleons from her mother's account. She took the train from Yorkshire to the village. When she finally arrived she met her aunt and cousin at the platform and headed for their house, willingly subjecting herself to a month and a half of their own gossipy form of torture.

 

They’d given her a room to herself and Lucy couldn’t be happier. It was almost private, though a house with her step-aunt and cousin meant privacy was foregone. Still, Lucy didn’t mind. She spent little time with them anyone, only staying in to help with the chores around the house.

 

______________

 

She was tired from the night before. Her step aunt and cousin were a handful. But at least they were better than her father. Lucy was able to tune them out easy enough. When she woke up in the morning, however, she was bored and exhausted. She needed to take a walk around Hogsmeade.

 

This time of year, vacation season, both residential Hogsmeade and the central village were practically empty. Lucy liked it – it had a privacy she craved for in her life. What with living with three other girls for the past few years and living with her father, she simply had to desire privacy.

 

Hogsmeade was quaint and perfect in every way Lucy could love. She strolled down to the post office, to play with the owls. Lucy had always thought owls were the most beautiful creatures in the world. She'd always wanted an owl, but her father wouldn't have it. So she was left to spend her free time in school with the owls in the Owlery. And this summer she was able to visit the owls at the post office.

 

Next-door to the post office stood the Everything Emporium, which Lucy liked to look around in. It was entertaining and full of quirky gift ideas. She'd always manage to come out of the story with an enchanted hair clip to style your hair to match your mood or something of the sort.

 

After leaving the Emporium Lucy took a trip to Honeydukes to taste new chocolates and possibly buy some for her step aunt and cousin.  They may not have been the nicest to her, but they got her away from her father. That was enough reason to love them.

 

The store was empty, much to Lucy's delight. The day's treat: Tagatied Taffy. It looked innocent on the counter. But when you put it in your mouth it slithered around until it covered your whole mouth and you couldn't talk. Lucy decided against it for her step-aunt and cousin. She wandered around the simpler candies.

 

The door opened and someone entered the shop. Lucy didn't turn around; she didn't want to acknowledge another presence. A lonely feeling suited her better. But it seemed the presence had different intentions.

 

"Lucy?" the voice came.

 

Lucy, startled to hear her name called, turned around in an instant. A surprised look appeared on her face when she saw who it was. "Sirius Black," she responded. "I didn't expect to see you here." Her tone was pleasant, but hidden beneath it was a hostile attitude.

 

Either he didn't detect the hostility or ignored it. "Well I didn't expect to see you here either, but look at us," he glanced at her up and down for the effect. "We must be the only two students in Hogsmeade and not on vacation."

 

Lucy said nothing; she just went back to examining the sweets, but perhaps a bit too closely. Sirius saw right through it. "Come on," he said grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the shop. "We're going for a walk."

 

Lucy stopped in her tracks. There was no way she was going on a walk with Sirius Black. She just wouldn't. "I'm here for a reason," she said indicating the numerous chocolates she held in the hand that wasn't in his grip.

 

He held up his index finger asking her for a minute. In that minute he went over to the counter and whispered a few words in the cashier's ear. The cashier smiled brightly and nodded thanking him profusely. Sirius skipped back. "Taken care of," he decided. Then he exited the shop asking her to follow.

 

She could've just stayed in Honeydukes and they never would have seen each other again until school. She didn't have to follow him out, but something told her to. So she jogged out after him and had to run to catch up. He was already half way down the road.

 

"I knew you'd come," he laughed and grabbed her hand again. Lucy resisted his pull.

 

"Where are we going?" she asked before following him any further. He had quite a reputation and Lucy didn't want to risk getting hurt.

 

"The Shrieking Shack," he stated. Lucy made a face. "Not scared are we?" he raised an eyebrow as if daring her to say yes. Of course she denied it. "Well then, let's keep walking."

 

He dragged up the lane, past the shops, and through the gates of the Shrieking Shack. Before they got to the door Lucy hesitated. She really was scared. There'd been so many rumors about murder and insanity surrounding the house. "Sirius, I..." she began, but he cut her off.

 

"Don't worry," he assured her. "We’re not going in."

 

She raised her eyebrows. Breaking into the Shrieking Shack would be exactly the kind of stunt Sirius Black would try to pull. “Why not?” she asked.

 

“Because you can’t,” he stated. “It’s impossible to get in from the outside. Dumbledore’s sealed it.”

 

“Dumbledore?” Lucy asked, completely stunned. “What has he got to do with this?”

 

She watched his face and saw his eyes glance right. He wasn’t supposed to tell her that and she could tell.  She didn’t know him well enough to ask again without feeling like a shallow gossip so she let it go.  If she ended up needing his help to get out of the place she didn’t want to be on his bad side.

 

“Do you come here a lot?” she asked, changing the subject. At this point they were sitting on the porch. It was still light out, but steadily growing darker. On a normal day Lucy would already be at her aunt’s for the rest of the day. Even though Sirius Black was not her ideal choice to spend the evening with she welcomed the change.

 

“Sometimes,” he responded staring out at the village, which he could just get a glimpse of from his spot on the porch. “No one bothers me here.”

 

Lucy stared at him analyzing the expression on her face. To her, Sirius Black had always seemed to bask in attention. She’d never seen him without his friends or some bimbos from school following him around. It had never occurred to her he didn’t really like it. But now that she thought about it, he always had seemed a little agitated all the time. She doubted he ever got a moment to herself.

 

“ I don’t really know how that feels,” she confessed. “To never get a minute alone, I mean. I’m always alone.”

 

He turned to look at her a surprised look on his face. “I wouldn’t have guessed. I mean you have friends and all so I just assumed…”

 

“We’re not that close,” she explained. “Me and Lily are, but she’s always busy.”

 

“I’ve never seen you sitting on your own or anything. It’s not like you’re a loser.”

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Lucy said. “And why does it matter if I’m a loser anyway?”

 

Sirius was taken aback. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

 

Lucy shrugged and looked away. “You didn’t.

 

A silence followed, but unlike Lucy was expecting it was a comfortable silence, rather than an awkward one.  She wanted to continue in that comfortable silence, but she irked for conversation. She’d spent the summer in silence. Her father wasn’t good company and her aunt and cousin weren’t much better. She hadn’t had a decent conversation since the school year ended.

 

“I’ll miss summer when it’s over,” Sirius said, saving her the confusion of breaking the silence.

 

“Me too,” she replied solemnly, “But I want to get back to school.”  It wasn’t like Lucy didn’t like summer, but she hated being alone.

 

In school Lucy and Sirius were the sardonic girl and the infamous prankster. She was the one you could always trust to have a witty comment and he was a heartbreaker. She was a party girl and him a ladies’ man. They were always the fun ones at school, never serious. But that afternoon they abandoned all of that and each of them managed to let down their guard. For once neither of them cracked a joke or made any comments.  They were just the selves that they were buried beneath the humor.

 

“I miss being young, you know,” she said after they’d been talking for fifteen minutes about school. “It was so much easier not having to worry about anything or anyone. But now it’s like we’ve got a thousand different problems facing us and I don’t even know how to begin.”

 

He nodded in agreement, “Things were so much simpler then. What people told you, that’s what was. But now I know things I didn’t know when I was younger and I second guess everything and I have to think.” He hesitated before continuing, “And I can’t trust anyone.”

 

Lucy looked up into his eyes at this. In the depth of his grey eyes she could tell that it had taken a lot for him to confess this. He was nervous about her reaction, but it was unnecessary. She knew exactly how he was feeling. And suddenly she felt compelled to tell him her truth. Lucy, the girl who trusted no one, felt the need to talk to Sirius Black about her life. “I don’t trust anyone either,” she confessed. She took a deep breath before confessing the rest of her life story. “I don’t think I ever have. “

 

They sat in silence for a moment and then he got up and pulled her up with him. She followed him silently as he lead her through the dark streets of Hogsmeade to a well furbished building, which she immediately understood to be his building.

 

Lucy hesitated for a moment, but for some reason Lucy didn't doubt him. She liked to tell herself it had nothing to do with his charm and good looks, but she knew that was a big part of it. Lucy couldn't deny her attraction to him. And she simply couldn't resist her curiosity. She grinned mischievously and followed him in.

 

 Inside she followed him through long unlit hallways until they got to one room. “You can come in if you like,” he suggested. It was intended to be a request, but it came off more like pleading.

 

 

 

A/N: This is the first part of what happened over the summer. I'll be breaking up the story with parts of the summer, so expect more.


Chapter 7: Detonation
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Disclaimer: All that's not mine is JKR's. 

 

Chapter 7: Detonation

 

 

All the seventh year Gryffindor's had dressed rather warmly for the night's trip to Hogsmeade. They were bundled up, hats, gloves, and all. Peter Pettigrew looked perhaps the most ridiculous of the bunch. He had not been able to bewitch his clothes to keep him warm enough for the night and had instead resorted to wearing muggle winter garments. Of course, having very little knowledge of the muggle world, he didn't quite know how to wear them. He'd layered a down vest over a sheepskin coat, wore one pair of thumbless gloves with mittens over them, and a hat which Lucy swore was a swimmers cap lined with fur. She reasoned his dorm-mates had tricked him into the outfit. Out of desire not sour anybody's mood for the night, she didn't mock his attire. She even kept a straight face when she spoke to him about the possibility of lifting a few boxes of toffee from Honeydukes.

 

Sirius, however, could not keep a straight face for more than a minute. It seemed he had slipped a Gibberish potion into James' firewhiskey. Before they even got into Hogsmeade, James was not only drunk, but beyond understandable. He had no idea he was speaking gibberish. Even Lily pretended to understand him. And Lucy didn't mind sharing a laugh at his expense. He was too drunk to register what was going on anyway.

 

Almost all of the other Gryffindor's were either halfway to intoxicated or already there. Even Lily had a few drinks. Oddly enough, Sirius hadn't even picked up a firewhiskey or any of the muggle alcohol that had been supplied. Lucy, of course, couldn't drink, leaving them as the only sober two of the bunch. It was tense on Lucy's part because she was holding back on Sirius. But he was completely at ease, unaware of how guilty she felt.

 

After climbing out of the Honeydukes cellar (it had taken more effort than expected being that several bodies were required to help James out and most of them were drunk themselves) they headed straight for the Hog's Head. It was the only place shifty enough to not question the presence of a group of drunk Hogwarts students attempting to become increasingly drunk.

 

Sirius stopped Lucy before heading into the pub and pulled her aside. Waiting until everyone else had gone in he reminded her, “I have an apartment not to far away,” his eyes pleading her to come with him.

 

Had they both had anything to drink, Lucy would have thought it was an attempt to seduce her, but they hadn't. She knew that this was his attempt to speak to her, to connect to her, to bring her back to summer, and she wanted to go. Not to talk, not to confess anything, but to find herself in his arms again. To feel the comfortable silence they shared once more. The moment she nodded, signaling her agreement, he obliged, pulling her into his arms, burying his face in her hair, not saying a word. He kissed her without letting her out of his arms and she reciprocated. Their attraction had not been acted upon for too long and it felt right to pull themselves back to where they had been over the summer. It was her awareness of the secret she was keeping from him that forced her to pull away.

 

“Sirius,” she whispered guiltily, but too hypnotized to pull her eyes away from his. She should have said something more, but she had no words.

 

Sirius didn't force her to come up with them. He knew there was something going on with her and he didn't need her to explain. “It's okay,” he whispered, pulling her face to his chest once again. “Come home.” And Lucy knew what he meant. And she liked the sound of it. His apartment had become a home to her over the summer; and she wanted to go back. She smiled into his chest at the sound of those words and she knew he could feel it. When she looked she saw him smiling too, so she took his hand and let him lead her home.

~*~

As they closed in on his building, Lucy found herself fantasizing about when she had the baby. Sirius would know by that time, she was sure, and she hoped he would be willing to support it, and care for it, and let it live in that apartment, and let Lucy live there too. They would form their own family and forget the ones that had been born into.

 

As her fantasy grew more intense, her nervousness did too. When they reached the building, she was hesitant to go in. But she did, without even a pause, because she knew he needed to go back with her just as much as she needed to. And if she couldn't give him the truth, she could at least give him that.

 

The moment they walked into the apartment she was back in his arms, her lips back on his. And this time, she didn't pull away. She let him kiss her until he wanted to stop, let him keep her in his grasp, let him comfort her, let him protect her. And when he pulled away it was only to look at her, to register that all this was real. Sirius needed that confirmation as much as Lucy did.

 

“Don't stop,” Lucy quietly begged, trying to avert her eyes from his. She wanted to keep the truth from him and the only way she could ignore the guilt that came with it was to let him kiss her.

 

But Sirius had a different idea. He had brought her to his apartment in an attempt to really talk to her. He hoped that if he got her away from Hogwarts and from all the people and the judgement there she would open up to him as she had over the summer. And maybe, he could find the courage to tell her the things he was feeling.

 

He ran his fingers down her face and she leaned into him. He opened his palm to cup her face in his hand and she let her eyes close, rendered helpless by his touch. Lucy had wanted this since she saw him again at Hogwarts for the first time since the summer, but she was always too guilt ridden to let herself acknowledge those feelings. With him in front of her, the two of them isolated from the rest of the world, her feeling were vindicated and reciprocated.

 

“Please, Sirius,” she whispered, leaning further into his touch, keeping her body flush against his.

 

But he resisted, he needed to know what was going on with her more than he needed to feel her against him. “No, Lucy,” he breathed, and it took all the strength he had to push away from her. “You need to talk to me, tell me what's going on.”

 

Pain, guilt, and sadness flashed across her face after he issued those words. Pain for the hurt she was causing him, guilt for the secret she was keeping from him, and sadness for the inevitably difficult future that faced them. She knew he wasn't going to let it go, but she couldn't tell him just yet. She shook her head, trying to signal to him that it was too much for her to talk to him, but the expression on her face betrayed her. He could tell she wanted to stop keeping that secret from him. She wanted to share with him.

 

“Maybe I should talk first,” he suggested, trying to ease her apprehension, “Tell you all the things I've been wanting to tell you since school started? Things I only want to talk to you about, okay?”

 

Lucy nodded, finding comfort in his words. And without meaning to she crept back into his arms. He wrapped them tightly around her and she relaxed fully for the first time that night, not feeling the guilt.

 

He brought her to the kitchen and boiled them both water for tea. He'd done it before, over the summer, and she smiled at the familiarity of the gesture. They said nothing to each other as the water boiled and Sirius prepared the mugs. They only smiled, frowned, and exchanged a thousand sentiments with a few simple looks. When the tea was ready Lucy moved them to the couch, surprised at how comfortable she felt navigating through his apartment. They sat facing each other, connected by small touches, her fingers to his chest, his palm to her hip, her knee to his side. She longed to leaned further into him, but they were close enough for the time being.

 

He took a sip of his tea and she followed suit before he started talking. For a while she only wanted to listen to him, to watch his lips move, see his face tell a story and he let her do just that. “I miss you Lucy,” he started, “I miss being close to you, to holding you, and I miss trusting someone like I trust you.” She could tell it was hard for him to tell her this, she moved her fingers across his chest to encourage him. He continued, “I like that I can be honest with you, that I don't feel bad about voicing what I'm thinking, and that I don't feel ashamed at what I'm feeling. I'm at ease with myself when I'm with you. I want more of that, and not just in moment like this, not just in passing.'

 

Oh, Sirius, Lucy thought to herself, I want more of this too. But I know things you don't don't, things that might change your mind. She ran her fingers across his chest again, saying nothing, but keeping him talking.

 

'I finally feel like I have a family and it meant more when I had you to enjoy that feeling with, when we were together over the summer. All that's going on with You-Know-Who and people being Imperiused, I need to know that your by my side when all that comes to us because it will and I can't help but be afraid.' Lucy shuddered at the thought and he moved his hand from her hip, up her arm to comfort her. It worked.

 

'Things are getting worse and and I want you with me through all of what's coming. If you don't want to be together like we were in August, just be by my side through it all, be a part of my family. I need you to be open with, to hear what you want and hope for, to know you're afraid but brave enough to face it, to give me the strength to face it too. You can't keep pushing me away Lucy; we've shared too much to isolate each other. And I haven't been trying hard enough to keep you open and trusting, but I have to try harder Lucy. Because I need to have you by my side, in whatever way you want to be there.”

 

He was offering her everything she wanted: a family, a friend, a promise to trust her and be someone she could trust. He had said everything she needed to hear, but she couldn't confess what she'd been keeping from him, not just yet. She couldn't take away the happiness and comfort he'd just given her. She wanted to live with it for a little big longer. “I'm scared too,” was all she said. And she hoped it would be enough to keep them together for a moment longer. She hoped he understood that it was the only promise she could give him, an unspoken promise that she would be with him in someway if he still wanted her there after she told him.

 

But of course, Sirius didn't understand that was what her words meant. He wanted more. He wanted her to open up to him, to tell him the truth. He looked at her and with his look he begged for more, begged for the truth. “I want those things too,” she said quietly, her eyes not leaving his. It was a confession for her, words that made her vulnerable. But she didn't mind feeling vulnerable around him. She felt safe with him. Pregnant, living in a war torn society and without a family, Lucy found herself feeling safe in the arms of Sirius Black.

 

She leaned further into him and he took her into his arms, feeling safe with her too. They were back in the bubble they'd built over the summer. All the problems that plagued them were momentarily pushed from their minds and they could just be together. “Let's not go back to the castle tonight,” Lucy begged. “Let's just stay here and sleep and talk and be away from everybody else.” It was all she wanted. She hoped he didn't think she wanted something else, thought that wasn't far from her mind. But she couldn't have sex with him while keeping her secret. He would never trust her again. She pulled him closer to her and he gave in.

 

“We'll stay here tonight,” he told her.

 

“Okay,” she smiled into his chest.

~*~

They lied in bed together. Lucy had taken off some of the layers she put on to protect herself from the cold and felt comfortable climbing under the sheets with him. He would keep her warm if she got cold. He told her about his year so far, filling her in on the details she missed. They laughed about the Halloween sketch. Sometimes they talked about light things like that, at others their conversation got deeper.

 

“When we graduate, and we're not protected by Hogwarts anymore, and the war hits us, what are you going to do?” Lucy asked him, drumming her fingers at the side of his ribcage, almost afraid to hear an answer to her question.

 

“I'm going to fight,” he told her.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“I'm not going to try to stay neutral and try to get a job and pretend it's not affecting me. It already has. I'm going to give everything I have to bringing them down.”

 

“Sirius, tell me,” she implored.

 

“Tell you what?”

 

“How it's already affected you. I know it has; it's affected all of us. But I want to hear how it's affected you, not how it's changed everybody, but how it's changed you.”

 

Sirius took a breath before continuing. Lucy could tell it was hard for him to talk to her and she loved that he was willing to. She wanted to be there for him, to make it easier for him to tell the truth. “They got to my brother, or at least I think they did.”

 

Lucy was stunned, “You mean...you think he joined them?” Sirius nodded. Lucy still needed confirmation on what that meant. “Does that mean he's a...” She couldn't even say it. But Sirius could.

 

“A Death Eater. Yes. At least that's what I think. I know my family believes in all that pureblood superiority. They call me a blood traitor, I hear it in school even. Their influence reaches pretty far. And I know they support You-Know-Who, but I didn't think they'd ever act on it. I really didn't think they'd let Regulus join him.”

 

“Sirius,” Lucy whispered, taking his hands in hers. It was all she could say, all she could do to comfort him. Neither of them were a stranger to family problems, and she'd felt like he was feeling before, isolated and alone. All she could do for him was let him know he wasn't, that she was there with him.

 

“He's my brother, Lucy. And even though he's just like them, I guess I was holding out hope that he could still change. Still realize how awful everything they believe in is. How wrong it is. I guess I was hoping that someday I'd get him back, like when we were kids and we didn't know what any of this meant.”

 

He just wanted to be part of a family again. Lucy understood that's what he was telling her. But he really felt like he'd lost it for good. And despite that, he had people there for him. She needed to remind him of that. “You do have a family,” she reassured him. “You have James and Remus and Peter. And, Sirius,” she made sure he was looking at her before she she continued. She needed to know he was believing what she said. “You have me.”

 

His eyes widened and then he kissed her for the first time since they'd climbed into bed and that kiss made them both hunger for proximity. Not the kind that came from the lack of clothes, but the kind that came from trusting one another. Lucy felt so guilty that she was holding out on him, she pulled away.

 

Instead of telling Sirius what she so desperately wanted him to know, she tried to reciprocate by being open with him. By telling him exactly what he'd just told her. “I hear it too, you know,” she began, not letting go of his hands. “The taunts that they use to try to bring us down. It comes from all of them: the ones that joined up, the ones that have yet to, and the ones who just believe it. Half blood, mudblood. Things more derogatory than even that. They want to let me know they're after me. But they don't need words. I can see it in their faces.” She felt Sirius squeeze her hand, doing exactly for her what she'd done for him just moments ago: reminding her she wasn't alone. She was glad for his presence, comforted by it, and she had to tell him what she knew. “I've heard it from so many people, Sirius, not just Slytherins, not just students. But I've never heard him say it. Not to me, not to anyone.”

 

Sirius knew who she meant, but despite her attempt, she didn't make him believe. “I wish you were right,” was all he gave her. It was a confession in itself and even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear, she was glad he was willing to share it with her.

 

Lucy shuddered, thinking about all that was facing them. There was a war and they were both direct targets. Their close friends would be too, and they would have a baby unable to protect itself, innocent of any crimes, and still someone the Death Eaters would try to kill. At the thought, the guilt overcame her. The guilt for keeping it from Sirius, the guilt for not loving it properly, and the guilt for feeling happy when it might never have that chance.

 

“Tell me, Lucy,” Sirius begged, echoing her words from earlier. “Tell me what you're holding back, what's causing you pain. Please, bring me in.”

 

And Lucy wanted to, so badly, but she needed to lie in his arms a little longer, feel him trusting her for another night. “In the morning,” she swore. “Right now, let's just stay like this.”

 

“But you'll tell me?”

 

Lucy nodded against his chest and he let her have it. She knew for the moment it would be enough for him. And they fell asleep holding each other, him slightly unnerved by Lucy's sensitivity whenever he brought up the subject; her guilt ridden from keeping it a secret. But they let themselves succumb to their exhaustion, let themselves have one more night surrounded and comforted by each other, one more night to just enjoy the ignorance.

~*~

When Lucy work in the morning withSirius's body draped over hers, she knew she'd have to make good on her promise. She slipped out from underneath him, letting her fingers linger on his frame a moment too long, knowing it was the last time that she could touch him without feeling only the anger than was to come. Quietly, she left the room, heading for the kitchen.

 

The only solace she could find was in a cup of tea. She clung to it, barely putting the mug down between sips. All she could do was wait for him to wake up and demand to know what she'd promised to tell him. In vain, she tried to think of the best way to say it, but there was no best way.

 

Sirius woke as Lucy was preparing her second cup of tea. Her hands were shaking, her body weak, and her face was tear stained. Sirius saw it immediately. He read it as fear, though he didn't know what of. He didn't know she was afraid that he would reject her, hate her, hate their child. Lucy's mind was occupied only by that fear: the fear that he would stop trusting her. And that fear was present with every motion she took. The tea kettle seemed too heavy, the mug seemed too hot and the seat seemed to high; she couldn't handle it without losing control of her body. Hoping to ease her fears, Sirius wrapped his arms around her, keeping her from collapsing to the floor.

 

“Tell me,” he pleaded. “Tell me so I know how to help, know how to fix it.”

 

Feeling his arms around her, Lucy regained her composure, stood up straight, and returned his embrace, knowing it might be the last time she got the chance. “You can't” was all she said to him as she pulled herself out of his arms.

 

“Why not,” he protested. “Tell me why not.” He was still begging for her to share and she wasn't going to deny him the truth. She promised she wouldn't once and she'd meant it.

 

“Because I'm pregnant.” She dropped her words like a bomb because that's what they were. They were a bomb that would set the room ablaze, blow them apart, and, ultimately, destroy them. 

 


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