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LOVE & BROOMSTICKS by StepUpx_Gryffindor

Format: Novel
Chapters: 35
Word Count: 216,870
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, F. Longbottom, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 07/23/2006
Last Chapter: 03/09/2015
Last Updated: 03/09/2015


You know what I hate? Having James Potter as your playmate as a child, & then having him turn into an egotistical pig as soon as we both set foot in Hogwarts. All the jokes, teasing, cat-calling... I can't stand it! I can't stand him. James Potter may have that devlishly handsome grin going for him, but I'm not falling for it! I've survived him for 5 years & I'm sure I can make it through my Sixth Year without him... I think?

Chapter 1: Morning
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Author's Note – Hey! Let me know how you like my story. Oh and while your reading my story you should really listen to the music I mention. You see, I love reading Harry Potter fan fics and listen to music while I'm reading. So that’s what I'm suggesting you guys to do. It gets you REALLY into the story you know? I wanna give you guys a visual of my story in your head sort of like a movie. And when your listening to it you really get into character & besides it's more fun. =] You can listen to the songs eny way you want off of what ever. I am just gonna give you the title and artist and there you go.

But there's no music in this chapter, but the rest to follow are filled with tunes ^_^


Ah, sleep. How much I love it. 

I would like it a lot more if I wasn’t being interrupted by the disturbing knocks at my bedroom door.

“Get up, Freak.”

How lovely. Good morning to you too, Petunia.

“What is it, Petunia?” I say, trying to untangle myself from the bed sheets…and failing terribly.

“Dad told me to wake you, Freak.”


“How the hell should I know?”

Well, then.

“Ok, fine. Thanks, Petunia.”

“Whatever,” Petuna says, walking back downstairs.

Ok, let me just tell you a little bit about my fabulous life. My name is Lily Evans. I have a sister named Petunia who used to be my best friend, until I got my acceptance letter from Hogwarts. That’s when everything changed. I no longer had a best friend anymore. I’ve grown to be what she calls a 'freak'.

Hey, it's not my fault I'm a witch! I mean, HELLO!

I don’t know why she can’t accept me for who I am. I’m not that bad. I can see how the whole witch thing could freak her out a little bit, but hate me because of it? It’s just too much to handle. Ever since then, it’s been really hard for me to trust people. This is probably why I don’t have many friends, just a couple; and one best friend. My only best friend. Her name’s Jessica. I met her on the first train ride to Hogwarts. Hogwarts School of Wichcraft and Wizardry is one of my favorite places in the world. It's my school, and there are people there that are just like me. Besides Jessica, I haven’t really had other best friends.

I mean I’m a pretty nice person. I don’t have any enemies at school and I’m nice to everyone… well except Potter, but-

AH! POTTER! Well, how could I ever forget him? James Potter likes to make my life worse than it already is. The little prick. It’s bad enough he hasn’t left me alone since first year, but the fact that I see him more than I want to? Ugh. I didn't forget to mention he’s my neighbor, did I?

We used to be friends when we were little, but that all changed once school started. He hasn’t stopped asking me out since then. He just won’t take no for an answer. It sort of makes me sad to think that James Potter and I used to be so close, and then... POOF. Everything changed.

Potter is the most popular guy in school along with his fellow marauders; Remus, Peter, and his right hand man Sirius. Potter is quite wealthy, so please explain to me why he is next door? He should be living in a big manor some place on the other side of London. He just had to be next door, and still live there through out our childhood. Coincidence? Who knows?

But anyways, I might as well get up.


If I could just tug under me... I could get out a little-

Oh my goodness, I’m slipping! Here I am, gripping the mattress for dear life, knowing that the usual is going to happen.



Ok, ouch.

Well that’s gonna bruise.

I rub the soon-to-be-bruise on my hip as I get up. I take out a towel and set it in the bathroom for a nice refreshing shower. Just what I need!

_minutes later_

As I open my shower curtain, I wrap the towel around myself; entering my bedroom to get changed. I walk over to the window so I can shut it... And I’m about to close it when I see Potter through his open window. I can tell he also came out of a shower…in nothing but a towel.

Come again?

Woah, I mean I knew Potter had a body, but I didn’t know he looked... that good. I have what you would call a very good photographic memory. And the last time I checked, he had the body of a normal athletic 16 year old. From past knowledge, I know that his birthday was in July and he had just turned sixteen. But now, let me just say, any other average Hogwarts guy has nothing on James Potter.


Oh shit, he looked over! Just when I was asking myself what I was thinking, he turns his head ever so slightly and catches me staring!

Crap. I don't even want to know what he's thinking right now.

Here I am surprised as hell that I caught myself staring at Potter’s wet body (with the towel still around his waist, mind you), that I don’t even realize that I’m also wet from my shower. In just a towel. With my hair, soaking wet as it is, falling down on my shoulders and face.

That would explain him checking me out. Damn him! I should smack that smirk off his face right now. I feel like growling.

He might be attractive, as many people would say, but that doesn't mean I like him. If you only knew the type of person he was, trust me, you'd be sympathetic.

I narrow my eyes and scowl at him before I shut the window, giving a good tug on my curtains, making sure their closed all the way.

Ok, make a mental note to slap myself later. But now, it's time to get dressed. I'm just going to push that little enemy-window-naked thing in the back of my mind. I take a deep breath, and walk over to my closet.

I wear a yellow and white striped shirt over my dark jeans, with a clean white pair of sneakers my dad gave me last christmas. They still seem to fit, and I kept them as white as I could because they go nicely when I wear shirts with white in them. After I'm done getting dressed, I go downstairs in the kitchen and see my Dad reading the paper at the kitchen table.

"Good Morning, Dad."

"Good Morning, Sweetie."

"Why did you send Petunia to wake me up?"

"Lily, did you forget? I have to drop you off to get your books at Diagon Alley."

Oh! I totally forgot about that! Time to get all my books for sixth year. At Hogwarts... with Jessica. YAY! And with Potter. No comment.

"Oh, right! Sorry; it must've slipped my mind."

"Get ready and eat breakfast quickly. I need to go to work after I drop you off and I can't be late," my dad says, turning the page of his newspaper.

"Ok, Dad. By the way, where's Petunia? I didn't see her in her room." I walk over to the counter and make myself some toast. "She went out with Vernon for breakfast this morning," he replies.

"Ew. That guy? What does she see in him? He's so weird looking and he looks like he's in his twenties!"

"He's 18, Lilian. Be nice."

Psh, like it makes a difference. And besides, there's nothing nice to say. I mean I might not be on perfect terms with my sister, but couldn't she get a better looking guy than Vernon? I wonder sometimes if she's dating him just because of his money or the 'company' he says he's going to heir from his uncle in the near future.

"Lily, I'm going to go start the car and get the mail. When I come back make sure you're ready to leave, ok?"

"Sure, I'm almost done with breakfast anyway."

Oh, well. It's not like I get a say in anything around here, considering the fact that Petunia is going to start her last year of school and is soon to be 18. While I'm going into my 6th year and turning 17 this school year (sagittarius and proud of it, baby!).

I hate being the baby of the family. Mainly because my dad is on my ass about everything and expects more of me. I have to do basically everything, and after sixteen years... It gets a TAD monotonous.

But I do have to give him some slack, because I can only imagine how hard it is to raise two teenage girls without a wife. Yep, that's right. I don't have a mom. She died when I was eight.

Don't do that.

Don't even think of pitying me. I hate that. I'm alot tougher than people think (even though I'm seen as a pansy, which I kind of am) and everyone already knows that my Dad's a widower. Don't even think of giving me special treatment. I got enough of it growing up. All the flowers, the toys, the cards sent in the mail... Gah. I hated having that growing up. And having to deal with not having your mother anymore, you know? Plus, that was the point in my life when things were becoming rocky with James Potter and I with our friendship. But besides us not being friends, the whole family thing was out of proportion; all that money I recieved for my school fund, all those pity letters, and the sad looks on people's faces I had to witness for months on end, I coudn't stand it then and I can't stand it now.

Yes, I miss my mom like hell. Yes, I wish she was next to me right now. Yes, I miss her tucking me in at night. Yes, I still remember the days that she would take me to the park to pick daisies in the field. But people just don't get that I don't want their pity because, well...Agh! It ticks me off. It's like, they say sorry, but does it really do any good? Does it make any kind of difference? Does it bring my mother back? No, it doesn't.

Discussing my mom or bringing up my mom in any way is one of my sour subjects; it's better off not discussed it at all. But of course, I don't show that it really bugs me when people say it. Mostly because a little part of me does appreciate their being sorry in some way. But that's a whole other feeling I don't wanna think about.

"Sweetheart, are you done with breakfast?" Dad says, as I see him come in through the front door.

"Yeah, Dad. I'll be right there."

I grab my book list off my desk upstairs and run towards the door.

"Ready, Dad."

"Ok, let's get going."

Diagon Alley here we come!



[big thanks to my validator for helping me out, I was a little confused about the site and all...and it took me a while to understand some things.]

Chapter 2: Diagon Alley
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My dad gives me the money to buy my books and he drops me off. I head to the first shop for my books. I'm a few steps away from the door when I recognize the girl through the glass windows; JESSICA FINELLY! My best friend, whom I haven't seen for a whole month, is here!


I open the door and greet her. Jess. The lovely Jess.



“Oh my God, Lily! Hey! I missed you! Did you get my owl?”

She hugs me until I can't breathe, and gets the hint when I'm gasping for air. I pant a little. How is she stronger than me? I'M OLDER, and we're the same size in everything. So not fair.

“Yeah, I read it. I missed you this summer too. How was Sydney!?”

Jessica told me that she was going to Australia for the last month of summer and she owled me 3 days ago telling me she got back. I was a little bummed for her leaving, but I was really happy for her, too. She hasn’t seen her Uncle in such a long time, and I didn’t want to ruin that. Come on, I get to hang with her almost all the time. I can’t be selfish and have her to myself when ever I want. So, I wished her good luck and I helped her pack, just like a best friend was supposed to do.

“It was great! And of course, I told you all about that hottie boy of mine, Jeff, I met over there.”

“Oh, Merlin. Don’t remind me! You couldn’t shut up about him,” I say with a laugh.

Jeff is the boy Jessica has been obsessed with ever since she arrived in Sydney. She told me all about their first date and how cute he was. And, how messy his hair was. 

That was what I was worried about. The messy hair.

We could have another James Potter in the works. But- Of course, knowing me too well- she told me that he didn't act like a bullock and that he was really sweet. Bless her. If only I could find a sweet guy once. Without the messy hair.

Wait a minute. Does that mean that I called Potter sweet? No… I was simply saying that I need to find a sweet guy without the messy hair as in saying that all guys that are sweet don’t have, uh... messy hair? Wait, no. They do have messy-

Oh, Bugger. Boys stink. They make things complicated. I agree with idiotic Happy Bunny quotes for once. Boys suck. Throw rocks at them.

But anyway, I am totally happy for her. I hope they last long. To be honest, over the things she’s told me, they are the cutest little couple ever.

“Ugh, I miss him!”

“Oh, shut up already!” I say with a chuckle, while we stand in line with our first set of books for Potions. “Hey show me that picture you said you have of him. I want to see what Jeff looks like!”

“Ok, ok! Just give me a second,” she says, while digging through her new green mesh purse. You see, Jessica isn’t like any other teenager with the urge to buy a new purse every five seconds. You will see her with a different purse depending on what her mood is. I don’t think I know anyone else that has a 'mood changing purse' fetish, which makes me love her more. You should have seen her that time she was PMSing and she had major crampage. It was terrible.


Cheetah skin = self explanitory.

To me, that’s as bad as it gets. You don’t even have to ask her how she’s feeling! You can just go up to her and see which purse she’s carrying under her arm, and poof. You know exactly what mood she's in. The sad thing is that I have it to memory.

No, really I do.

I can tell her exact mood. The purse right now is green, which means cheery (in her case, anyway). But, it’s mesh and it’s NEW. So that’s a toughy… Lemme think.

"A-ha! Here he is," Jessica says, handing the picture to me.

“Wow! Go, Jess. He’s a total babe! Awe, he looks so cute. I’m so jealous,” I say, while walking to the register with my books, handing her back the picture. Which, by the way, she kisses and shoves back in her purse.

“Haha, you should be. He’s the best. And he’s a singer too. Oh, my little rocker boy. ”

“I know, I know.” We pay for our books and head out to the next shop.

Once Jessica and I get out, we head out to the nearest book store, which is about 12 minutes away. Hey, I wanna get a leisure book for the train to Hogwarts…is that so bad? Besides, I was already holding 20 pounds of books. I needed a break before heading out for more, and I'm pretty sure there's a nice wooden bench right outside the book store. Wimpy, yes I know. I should probably chuck them at Jessica, and for sure, I know she'd catch them. But I'm just so nice that I resist the urge.

“So, I see you’re really happy with this Jeff fellow.”


“So why are you feeling doubtful? Did you have a row with your parents this morning about the situation?”

“How did you know?”

“Um, DUH. How could I not know? I can read your purse moods like the back of my hand.”

“You know me too well.”

“Ah, yes. But don’t get off the subject. I wanna hear all about it.”

So on the way to Poacher & Elmer’s Books, she tells me all about how her parents said that this long-distance relationship thing probably wasn’t the best idea. Way to go Mr. and Mrs. Finelly. Don’t they know that she’s sensitive to this whole relationship thing?

“I couldn’t believe them! I mean I thought they would be happy for me. I think they don’t like Jeff just because of that picture of him I showed to my parents.”

“Well, he does sorta kinda look like a bad ass with that spikey hair...And blue hair dye.”

She gave me a look and said, “Oh, please. It was stage dye! It's not his REAL hair color. I think the reason my mom and dad don't like him may be because of the fact that he’s in a band, and doesn't have a job. But, I don’t see the problem. I mean he really does have good manners, and doesn't act at all like that rocker stereotype! I just took that picture of him when he was with me, and he can be himself with me, you know? That’s what I really like about him.”

“I think the fact that he’s in a ROCK band which aren’t really known for their ‘faithfulness’ makes your parents worry. They probably don’t want you to get hurt. I mean, you don’t really know what he’s doing because your not there.”

“Well, I guess your right. But still, they could be a little more supportive.”

“Well, yeah, but you can’t really blame them that much. He’s a muggle! They’re also probably worried your going to tell them about your family history, my darling little Jessica.”

“Hm... ok, I get your point. But why would they think I would do something so stupid? Hah, what would I have told him? ‘Oh yeah, and by the way, I come from a pureblood witch family.’ I mean come on. What am I, a moron?”

"I guess parents have it in their DNA to give us a hard time once and while. I hope it all goes well."

“Thanks, Lily. That means a lot to me.”

I give her a warm smile as we head into the book shop.

Uh, okay scratch that. I hide under a book shelf as quickly as possible, dragging Jessica with me.

“What the hell, Lily!?” Jessica practically screams.

“Jessica, hush up!” I hiss. I look in between two murder novels to see if the marauders notice us. Jessica takes notice of my action and looks with me.

“Ah...Hiding from Prongs and his fellows, are we?” She says with a smirk.

ARGH. DOES SHE HAVE TO DO THAT? Jessica thinks that we are meant to be. HAH. Meant to be, my ass.

The only reason he hasn’t stopped asking me out is because I turned him down the first time. I mean he just thinks of me as a challenge, just because I’m the only girl who’s turned down the famous James Potter. It’s not like he really likes me. He probably thinks this is some fun game to him, just because he wants to show people that no one can turn him down and will eventually come crawling to him. That pathetic little slug, thinking he’s so great. In my opinion, having a high record of dating a different girl every other day of the week is not something to be proud of.

But I have to hand it to him. He must really be bothered about me turning him down so many times, because he’s asked me out for about six years now. And that’s a lot of times, let me tell you. He must have a lot of patience.

“Ohmegawd, theircomingthisway!” I mumble very fast in a high pitch voice.

“Ok, you have to stop squealing,” she says as we try to walk over to the Non-fiction section, undetected.

“Well, what was I supposed to do!?”

Peter, Remus, and Sirius are getting nearer! Wait, where’s James?

“You could have kept your cool and not freak out, genius!” Jessica says as we head over to the Romance section, and we would have if it wasn’t for the stack of books I trip over.

I was waiting for the fall when someone caught me, thank God. I don’t know who it was. It happened so fast. I didn’t really care if I was caught by some stranger right now because I was way too happy for not falling on the floor and making more of a ruckus in the bookstore. There were already enough people looking around finding out where the noise of the dropping of books came from.

But then I lift my head slightly to see who caught me.

I immediately think of how I should thank them.


“Well, well, well, Evans.”



I know… I’m terrible! LOL.
please review!

Chapter 3: Why, I'm Looking At You, Miss.
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YAY! Third Chapter! =D I’m just so UBER excited… hehe. I would love it if you guys reviewed... because I’ve written this story with events and situations that (sadly) have been apart of my friends’ lives and mine, and it takes alot of energy to type it all. lol. yes yes, all this wit you see in lily’s head had to come from some where… *takes all the credit*


Why, oh, why does this have to happen to me?


By this time, the rest of the marauders have already caught up with us.

You know, this reminds me of the girl in the movie Just My Luck when she’s in that bowling place and she gets electricuted, falls, and has a cute guy catch her... Except James is NOT cute, I wasn't electricuted, and my favorite band, McFly, is no where to be seen! Trust me, if the boys of McFly where anywhere near me, I'd probably stampede them.

Er, sorry. I have a movie obsession. When ever I’m in a situation, I try to refer back to a part from a movie I’ve seen. I can’t help it. It’s like second nature to me. It helps me deal with things better. Like I’m not the only who’s had that happen to her. I have a problem with luck; as in, I don't have any. Ergo, Just My Luck referance.

Potter is pretty much holding me, enjoying every minute of this. His eyes are staring into mine. I think I’m getting a headache. Oh, darn those smokey, hazel eyes.

Not that I’m getting into detail, because I don’t pay attention to his eyes.

I don’t.

All this thinking is pulling me away from reality. It's been two full minutes and Potter is still holding me. I should be scratching his eyes out. So, what do I do?

I push him away, that’s what I do. Give me props, damn it.


I stand up straight, and smooth out my jacket and try to look professional. Keyword: TRYING.

“Ok, Evans, no need to be feisty.”

I’d love to stay in this little group and chat with my best friend while we’re huddled with all the marauders right now, but I have my list of books I still have to buy. That damn leisure book is going to have to wait a little bit longer.

Potter hasn’t taken his eyes off me.


I narrow my eyes.

“What are you looking at?”

“Why, I’m looking at you, Miss.”


No. He. Did. Not!

He quoted one of my favorite movies. The line from the movie The Last Of The Mohicans.

Damn him. Damn him and his ways to get me all twisted.

We always do that, Potter and I. It’s like an unspoken language. We say quotes from movies when we talk to each other sometimes. And we both know which movies our lines are from. Ok, so I admit, we have SOMETHING in common. But that’s beside the point. He’s still the same James Potter, with or without our 'having in commons'.

He sees my face, and he knows that I know that he knows what movie it’s from.

Alright, so he got me this time.

I don’t really know if he’s that obsessed with movies like I am, but I’ve heard from a reliable source (aka Jessica) that he thinks up parts from movies that relate with the weird or random situations that he’s in, just like what I do with myself.

Not that I care.
Because I don’t.
It’s probably not even true, who knows?

The other day I told him off…

With a line from Mean Girls.

And he laughed. This frightened me a little. Gryffindor boys don't watch movies about popular female domination and super jumbo tampons. This meant Potter knew what I was talking about.

I mean if Potter saw Mean Girls

“So, how was your morning, Evans?”

Uh, oh.

That tradition smirk is creeping up to his face again. Where did that mental note to slap myself go? Try not to flinch, try not to flinch, try not to flinch….

I don’t flinch.

I blush instead.

“It was fine.”

“I’m sure it was.”

Oh, god. Sirius is already eyeing us. He can totally read this out. I’ve seen that look before. He’s smiling. Um, yeah he definitely knows.

His eyes just twinkled! He knows everything!

I'm not that paranoid, jeez. Just reason with me, alright? Well, I figure he would know everything from this morning, since he lives with James. Yes. I know. I have the best luck in the world. They’ve known each other since First Year at Hogwarts, and have been best friends since. In the summer Sirius ran away from the Black household and moved in at the Potter's. But, he's not in the same room. He sleeps in the guest room. Don’t ask me how I know these things. Because for one: I have Jessica, and she babbles on about nothing and everything all at once. And for two: I’m next door to the boy that most of the gossip at Hogwarts is about. Oh, and I also remember the exact positions of everything in James's house. We were best friends, you know.

“So, Lily, Prongs tells me that you had a nice encounter with him this morning,” Sirius says to me. I get the urge to bite him. “Sorry you guys, we have to meet with some people right now, so- BYE!” Jessica cuts in quick.

I love her. Remind me to get a tattoo that says I LOVE JESSICA on my forehead. You know, I would make a mental note, but they obviously don’t work.

We take our books and head out the door as fast as humanly possible.

“By the way, Evans, you looked sexy in that towel!”

Potter yells this as soon as the door closes behind us. Jessica and I stop at the same time. I have my ‘oh shit’ face on right now. I look at Jessica. She looks at me. She has her ‘wtf’ face. Hm.. she pulls that face off pretty good.

Ah, no! Stay focused!

Out of book store, marauders harrassing me, walking out, Potter commenting on me being sexy...Ugh. Let's try to change the subject. “Wow, Jessica, thank you so much! I love you! You totally saved my-”

“Don’t worry about. I only did it because I’m your best friend, and because I had to get you outta there so you could tell me what you forgot to mention about James. And him seeing you in a towel? What was that about? SPILL IT.”


We resume walking.


By the time we get ALL of our requirements for school, I tell Jessica everything about this morning. “So, was he hot?”


“What? I’m the friend, you’re supposed to tell me these things. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I know I have a boyfriend, but I can still say that James is definately  hot. He would be perfect for you.”

“Oh, whatever.” Time for me to try a second attempt at changing the subject.

“So, do you wanna do something tonight? We haven’t had our traditional sleepover at my house in a while.”

“Oh my gosh! Yes! We need to totally have a sleepover tonight! What do you say? Do you think your dad will let me?”

“Well, duh, my dad loves you, Little Miss Perfect. You know, you have to teach me how to persuade my dad, because you can persuade him to do anything for the two of us, and I’m his daughter! How do you do it? I think it’s because of your smile.”

“Lilian, my sweet. I have dimples, and that, by all means, is a success with the parents,” she says to me. We find a bench and sit down. All that walking has worn me out.

“But it’s true. I guess I do have to teach you some things,” Jessica says. She better. I don’t know anyone else who can persuade my dad to do ANYTHING. Darn those dimples.

“I’ll call my mom and she can come pick me up. Then I’ll go and pack my overnight bag and then I'll be off at your house!”

“YAY! I can’t wait.”

We do the ‘teenage girl squealing’ and then I say, “Hey, I was thinking…”

“Lily! Yes! Of course!”

This girl can read my mind, I tell you.

I can’t help but grin as Jessica excited talks to me.

“I can’t wait to do our usual messing with Potter at the sleepover! GAH! Lily, we so have to get him back for that one time when he cut off all the lights in your house and we both, like, fell down the stairs. Actually, it would have been much better if we really fell. Ouch," She says while rubbing that sore spot under her armpit (oh goodness, long story). "So, this time we have to do something good.”

REVIEW, MY PEOPLE! :] The sleepover at Lily’s house is going to be SLAMMIN’.
Oh god, I did NOT just say slammin’ …
*hides face behind hoodie, and tries to not be a dork.* =P

Chapter 4: The Sleepover
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Author’s note:

Gosh! I feel bad that I didn’t update so quick! I’m so sorry! It’s been like, 4 weeks. PLEASE DON’T THROW ROCKS AT ME! ♥ I was SUPER busy.

I hope you like it! Oh, and so you know, at the end of the chapter there's a picture of one of the characters in this story. I'm going to go through everyone involved :D

“Jeans?” I ask her.
“Hair brush?”

My dad said Jess was allowed to spend the night, so Mrs. Finelly picked us up. She brought us home and I’m helping Jess pack her overnight bag before going off to my house. The whole ride up here we were talking about how we were going to get James back for messing with our sleepover the last time. Every sleepover that we have at my house always gets a different ‘surprise’ from him. The last time, he spooked us and shut off the lights in the house. Regardless, we ended up at the bottom of my stairs. We would have been lucky if we actually fell. But no , we had to FLY.

I can just remember the faint cries of ”Jessica, your butt is crushing me!” and “Well jeez! I would move off of you if you could take your foot out of my armpit, thank you!”

And you don’t even want to hear the rest.

Please don’t ask me how that arrangement happened. Even we don’t know how my foot was jammed up her armpit WHILE she was sitting on me.


So not fair that she has an iPod... I want one sooooo bad!

Hm, let’s mess with her shall we?



“Che- hey!”

I smile, feeling accomplished. “What is it with you and diapers-” Jessica asks before getting cut off by her ringtone, "Lips of a Angel" by Hinder. She picks up her mobile and clicks the button. “Hey, Remus.”


“Oh, nothing. Just getting ready too… -Are you serious?”
Um, okay... WHAT?!
“Oh, okay, thanks.”
I want to know!
“See you later then, bye.”
Tell me, damn it.

She shuts it off and tosses it on her bed, and looks at me. “Remus just told me that James is having a sleepover too.”

“Um, what?!”

“… With all the Marauders.”

Oh, jeez.

I’m guessing my face shows what I’m thinking because then I hear, “Lily, stop with that face. It creeps me out.”

It’s easier said than done.

“But anyway…” Jessica says with emphasis, “Don’t freak out over it, Lily. You’re so paranoid… This could be the perfect way to get back at James for messing with our sleepover the last time! ”

I relax almost immediately. She’s right. “I like the way you think.”

“Yes, I know, darling. Have a seat; let us plan this thing well….”


Mrs. Finelly pulls up to my drive way, and I can see in the window that my dad is talking to someone in a pinstripe suit. He looks like he’s some big casino guy! Who is he? He must be new.

“Here we are!” She says as she unlocks the doors. My dad sees us and waves, we wave back. Jess and I both get out and head towards the trunk. “Whoa, who’s the DeNiro dude talking to your dad?”

I love that Jessica actually knows muggle actors, I just love it! She practically knows who ever I’m talking about when it comes to muggle movies and actors/actresses from America. I guess it’s the massive amounts of time we hang out with each other. Not many people at Hogwarts know what I’m talking about if I bring up an American movie, or some Italian actor. Or maybe, it might just be the ‘pureblood’ thing. We’re not regular English folks. Ok, I take that back. With or without the ‘pureblood’ thing, we’re sort of kind of weird. Or should I say Unique.

In our own way of course.

“I don’t know… maybe a new neighbor.” She hands me one of her bags. Yeah, I said it. ONE OF HER BAGS. She has like, five! Plus our books from this morning at Diagon Alley.

Mrs. Finelly gets out, and greets my dad. My dad introduces her to Creepy DeNiro Dude. I think I’ll call him CDD for short. Ha! It sounds like some sort of disease! Um... yeah, anyway… They start talking, and the man in the pinstripe suit does this thing with his hands. It’s like every word he says has a hand gesture that goes with it. His hands are flying! I mean, not in rage or anything, he’s just, er... passionate when he talks?

“Ooof.” She plops another bag (and, thankfully, the last) on top of me. I’m carrying more than the Hogwarts Express at this point. She’s holding one duffle bag and a purse. I’m holding three carry-on bags and another duffle bag. Plus all her books and mine. You do the math.

The trio of adults has departed, and Mrs. Finelly is coming back towards the car. “Take care, girls! Call if you need anything, my sweetie pies.” She hugs us and closes the trunk.

She honks, and then she’s off. Great, we’re left with CDD and my dad.


I make my way up there with Jessica on my side and say, “Hey, Dad.” We set all the bags on my porch and walk back to my dad.

“Lilian! I’d like you to meet Mr. Di Angeli. He’s our new neighbor from around the corner. Mr. Di Angeli, this is my daughter’s friend Jessica.” He hand shakes Jess and then mine, with a firm grip. Not gentle but not rough either. He does it in a manner that says he’s the boss.

We definitely have an Italian in our midst.

I don't stereotype, and I don’t label people either, it’s just obvious. My aunt Betsy married an Italian, and I used to spend time at her house over the summer with my cousin Tina when I was younger.

“He’s used to live in the United States. He and his family immigrated there from Italy. He left Italy about 15 years ago. Am I right, fifteen years?” My dad asks him.

“Yes, yes. I have traveled all around the United States and thought I might like to see the types of businesses here. So my family and I moved in just a day ago,” He says to us, with an italian and 'American' accent, so you could tell straight away he's not English. “We're still moving our things over.” His voice is rough, but smooth at the same time. How does he do these things all at once? His eyes are also smokey, but worn into; he has wrinkles around his eyes, probably in his mid-40’s. His eyes are like the clouds, with the gray and blue twisting together.

We chat for a bit, and I find out that he has a daughter, Teresa, and a son, Marco. His name is Luca, and his wife’s name is Lisa. And, he owns a casino! He’s relocating his casino business over seas and it’ll be up and running within the next month.


So he is a casino guy. Jessica is better at this observing skill then I thought.

“Excuse us; we have some stuff to do. See you later, Mr. Evans. Nice meeting you Mr. Di Angeli!” says Jessica, shaking his hand, and showing her pearly-white smile with those award winning dimples. I shake his hand also, and we leave them alone to continue their talk. Jessica and I carry all the bags upstairs and because I was holding most of them I had to make a second trip. Jessica comes down to help me. We make a dash for my room, but we get a slight encounter in the hallway.

“Hello, Freak. Hello, Friend of the freak.”


“Petunia, please. You can’t come up with anything cleverer to insult us with? I mean, here we are, Lily and I. And you can’t seem to find something more 21st century? How lame. And besides,” Jessica says, pushing her out of the way as she flips her purse over her shoulder, “with all that make up on your face, you look like the freak. The circus called, they want their clown make up back.”

Oh, did I not mention that my sister and my best friend are not exactly fond of each other?

Well, now you know.

I wish I could stand up like that… to any one. The only person I don’t have a problem talking back to is Jam-I mean POTTER.

Slap me now.

What is happening to me? Am I loosening up? Do I want Potter as a friend?


Yeah, right.

Ok, so I should definitely get a life and stop talking to you! You little man inside my head!

“Ugh,” Petunia says with a scowl, giving us the dirtiest look she could muster. She runs down the other side of the hall where we came from, and goes to her room. We reach my bedroom door, and walk in. We set up Jess’s stuff, mainly her bags.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?

“How did you put Petunia in her place like that, or actually; how do you do that with anyone for that matter.”

“Ok, Lily, you need to stop being want people want you to be and be yourself. I know that you could say what I said, three times as bad. You just don’t have the guts, and I know that the whole ‘Petunia hates me’ situation was really hard for you, but this is ridiculous. Why the hell is she on your ass, still? It’s been six years. She needs to get a life, and stay out of yours.”

“I don’t know, Jess. It’s just… it scarred me in a way, you know? Most of my confidence has gone, and I got a lot of insecurities because of it. Like, she was my best friend, and I trusted her with my life. Now, I don’t even think she even cares about my life. And that’s what hurts the most.”

“I know. But now you have me, and your damn lucky, Lilian Evans. I will be there for you, and I am NOT shallow. I won’t ditch you for anything, anyone, and any kind of human-made object. No matter how weird that just sounded, you actually know what I mean. Ahhh, am I making you smile? Hmmm?” Jessica says, poking me.

She’s teasing me, and I can’t help but grin.

“Yeah yeah, I’m smiling…” I take a couple magazines from my drawer out.

“Good! Pass me this month’s Enchanted issue, please.” Jessica plops on my bed, and we read all my issues of Enchanted and pick out which guys we think are gorgeous. A half hour later, she asks, “Hey, you get the daily newspaper right?”

“Yep. Be back in a second.” I pull out one from this morning’s mail and race up the stairs. I kick off my shoes and plop on the bed again, and hand it to her.

“There’s this picture of someone from school in the paper, and uh… I think it’s something you might like to see.”


“Well, it’s quite entertaining. This ‘person’ won some kind of chemistry wizard award or what ever. What a dork.”

How nice.

“Do I know this person?”

“Oh yeah.” She says. She flips through the pages, and stops. I’m guessing she found this picture of this so called dork.

“Ew, look at that girl’s hair cut. It’s revolting!” I say as I point to the picture.

Jessica starts to howl in laughter, and I begin to think she might have been dropped on the head a couple times as a baby. “LILY! YOU IDIOT!”

I give her a puzzling look.

And that’s when the *DING* occurs to me.

“Let me see that again.” I snatch it back, and Jessica resumes her laughter. I look at it. I look at her, and back at the picture.

Without realizing I formed an "O" with my mouth.

Jess calms herself, and looks at my face. And then she laughs in my face.


“Haha, I love it when you think, and then your face expression shows exactly what your thinking.”

Oh gosh, the world has figured me out! Maybe I should change my identity!


I stare her straight in the face, and she stops laughing.


“Yes, well, welcome back to earth.”

“You should probably run away from earth! You just said that Severus Snape was a girl and had a revolting hair cut!”



“I have to go to a dinner party tonight, for work. I’m leaving you and Jessica with the house, and I expect it to not be in bits and pieces when I come back.”

Jess and I nod and smile, trying to look mature.

Pst- let me tell you a secret…


This is so perfect, it’s crazy.

“You know, maybe I should ask Petunia if she could watch-”


I think that was a bit much for in-the-face screaming.

“Excuse me, Lilian?”

“What she means,” Jessica says, “is that Petunia has her own plans, and we’re definitely old enough to have our own sleepover. We did a good job last time didn’t we?”

I wince at the memories, and rub the bruise on my butt.

“Jessica, when I came home, it was only 9 o’clock. As soon as I come it, I find dents and scratches all over my floors!”


“Um…” She’s shifting her wait on her feet. She smiles anyway with those dimples. “Plllleeaassseee?” She’s good with the puppy face too. This girl is amazing.

“Well… Okay. I'll be back really later because we have a firm that was double booked and we can’t post-pone it, so I expect the house to be clean when I get back, since I’ll be out so late. If you want this privilege of having a sleepover while I’m out this late, then you’ll have to spit shine everything. Think of it as a little tax from the last time.”

But leaving the house dirty is like our copyright law! It’s our trademark and now we have to clean the entire house?

Jessica pinches me discreetly and I know she’s thinking the same thing.

“No problem, Mr. Evans. It’ll be spic-n-span when you get back, and we’ll clean up after ourselves.” Jess gives me a little look with her eyes, a tiny but insignificant glance.

She’s planning something.

“Alright, girls. I trust you with this. Don’t let me down,” Dad says. He opens the door, hugs us, and I close the door with a big slam.

“Lily, this is so like Alexa Vega in that muggle movie it’s not even funny. What’s it called? OH! Yes, that movie ‘Sleepover’!”

“I know!”


Oh, wait… did you here that? Hm…

I just heard two different things.

One, for sure, is my stomach. It’s signaling that I need food. I’m Hungry.

But the other sound, I have no idea. It sounded like a crack and a slam from upstairs. Jess and I give each other quizzical looks and race up the stairs. We hear the sound again and it’s coming from Petunia’s room.


No point, I know she’s sneaking out again, Even though she told dad that she was going to the library. My dad just pulled out of the driveway and Petunia doesn’t want to be seen from the front door, knowing he’ll see. How do I know? It’s happened so many times I lost count after one-hundred twenty-seven.

She’s sneaking to the 20-year-old-looking-but-really-18-year-old Vernon’s house. He lives about 3 blocks away in the next development. Why the hell doesn’t everyone have to be so damn close to our house?

She doesn’t even say anything to us.


“It just Petunia,” I say. “I’m hungry, let’s go down to the kitchen and have some dinner. It’s around 6:00 already.”

First we change into our pj’s. I’m wearing my old shirt from second year and short shorts that are super comfy. Jessica is wearing a shirt that says ‘Mrs. Beckham’ on the front and her pants say ‘David’s Property’ on the butt. Oh my, this child has lost it. I think she got them specially done. And that’s the scary part.

After, we go down to the kitchen. Jess is making home made lemonade and I’m popping popcorn in the microwave. We’re planning to watch a movie. But since we’re lazy, that’s probably the only thing we’re going to make. Trust me, compared to our sleepovers, this by far, is a nutritious dinner.

I plop my butt on top of the kitchen table and wait for the popcorn to pop, which should be in about 2 minutes according to the packet.

I’m bored. I hate waiting for food to cook. The Evans’ household is the only magical family on the block with a microwave. How embarrassing. But still, I can’t be ignorant of my other half. I’m still muggle-born, so I try to save the enchantment when I’m in the house.

I’m still bored. Come on, little man in my head. Help me out here.

Argh. I should have gotten that leisure book! Oh, the memories. I don’t even want to think about Potter. I zap up a book from upstairs that I read five days ago. Am I proud to be a dork? DAMN STRAIGHT.

I would help her with the lemons, but she had second the motion that I was a weakling and that I could barely get her bags.

After three minutes I look over.

Jessica’s two steps away from committing double homicide on the lemons.

“Jessica, calm down.” I hop off the table and bookmark my page.

I turn on the radio and Ciara’s “Get Up” song plays. Jessica puts the lemons down on the table, wipes her hands with a cloth, and makes her way over to me. We start dancing like crazy. We giggle and wiggle and jiggle for a little bit.

In mid swing, the door bell rings. It knocks us conscious and Jessica goes back to those poor lemons.

“Don’t worry about me. Get the door bell.” Does it look like I want to leave her with the squeezer and fifteen lemons? Besides, the door bell just threw off my groove and I want to keep dancing. At least Jessica’s still bopping her booty to the music.

I just said ‘booty’.

I should be tsunami slammed.

It rings again. “Alright! I’m coming.” I open the front door and see some horror movie DVDs.

“Hey, Jessica, did you owl your movies?”

“Oh, they’re here?”

“Yeah,” I yell back, scooping up the movies. I put them on our coffee table, and then the microwave dings. Yay, popcorn!

“So, what’s with the movies?” I add butter and salt to the popcorn. “I asked my mom to apparate them over here. I asked her to ring the door bell so I knew she delivered them, but I forgot about it until you opened the door. I thought it would’ve looked strange if an owl swooped in your neighborhood with DVD’s dangling from its little feet.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks,” I say with a chuckle. When I’m done with the popcorn I shut the radio off and I’m about to go to the living room when Jessica yells at me, “Put extra salt on my popcorn!” Ew. I was hoping she wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately, she always does. Jessica always has popcorn with extra salt. And she puts too much! It’s down right nasty.

I get the salt shaker, and put a couple more pinches. Then I sit on the couch and eat a little popcorn. Jess comes in with the glasses of lemonade. “Thanks for cleaning the kitchen up, Jess. Much appreciated.”

“No problem, Lily. Let’s look through my movies and choose which one we’ll watch first.”

I look from left to right.

Left: The Grudge.

Right: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” I tell her.

“What? Why? I was hoping you’d pick The Grudge.”

“Jessica, I already had enough of the girl who fell down the damn well and comes out of televisions to kill you. I don’t need anymore dead girls with dark hair.”

“Alright, press play.”


“OMG! This is the part when-“

“Jess! Shut it!” I cup her mouth as we watch the people on the screen getting sliced.

We’re at the part when the murderer dude with the chainsaw is no where.

And as soon as he comes out of nowhere and raises his chainsaw is when we hear the loudest, scariest noise ever.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” We both scream. Well, if you want to get all technical about it… I was squealing, Jess was screaming. The popcorn bowl flips over and flies everywhere. We jump on the couch and jump up and down.

We hug each other in fright. What? That’s what girls do.


How the hell should I know?

“I don’t know… I think it came from outside,” I say with a whisper. I sound like a little kid. I think this terrible sound traumatized me!

“Go and check it out,” I say. I push her towards the door.

“Well, this is your house, you go and look!” She moves behind me and pushes me forward.

“Hell no, I’m not going out there!”

“You wimp.”

“Hey, you’re as much of a wimp as I am!”

“Okay how about we both look together?”

“Fine, then.”

_1 minute later_

“Jessica, stop pushing me!”

“You haven’t moved an inch! Just go!”

The suspense is killing me.

“Well, if you must me blunt about it…”



I roll my eyes and we walk (well, struggle) all the way up to the door arm in arm.

I open the door. There’s nothing.

We scream again.

“Lily, Damn it! Why didn’t you turn off the TV!? That stupid horror scene with that creepy music is playing.”

We walk in backwards, our eyes still on the door, and I get the remote from behind me on the couch and click off the movie.


Arm in arm still, we walk back up to the door.

“Should we step out?”


We poke our heads out and get splashed in the face with sprinklers and hoses.

“Nice one, Moony!”

I hear howling laughter.

THOSE BITCHES. It’s freezing!

“Ah! Lily, I’m soaked!”

“Remus! Shut those sprinklers off RIGHT NOW!” I scream.

I spit out about a gallon of water that had been splashed into my mouth. I can’t believe they hosed us! They’re still laughing. Jessica and I are about two steps away from popping our heads off.

We open our eyes and wipe our faces and ring our hair and pj’s out.

“Oh, get up off the grass. It was NOT that funny,” Jessica says.

Sirius is rolling on the ground. “How could you guys do this?!” I say.

“Well, Evans, we needed a distraction. And that noise pretty much set you off,” Sirius says.

Oh, the nerve!

They all stand and help each other up. “That noise scared us half to death!” She says to Sirius.

“I know, Finelly, we heard.”

“Shut your trap,” Jessica replies.

“Oh, come on, you have to admit, it was good,” Peter says.

“And besides, it isn’t all bad,” Remus says. He of all people, I thought, would be more considerate. But then again, he’s still a marauder, and there’s a little bit of all of them in each other.

I shiver. How is it not all bad?

“Yeah, Moony’s right. You two look pretty cute in your pajamas.” He takes turns looking at us. He looks in Jessica's direction.

“Jess, I think you’re obsessing.”

“For your info, I don’t obsess. I think intensely, ” She responds.

He looks at me up and down.

“And Lily, well, you’re tight and fit aren’t you? James was right; you are a cute little thing.”

I try not to blush, and pull my drenched shirt down a little bit, realizing that I was barely covered. My T-shirt is up high and because I was younger when I wore it, I grew out of it and it became a belly shirt. Now, it was practically exposing my entire tummy.

Well this sucks.

My short shorts aren’t helping either. I wore them because they were comfy and worn into, so they were soft. But, because they were too short, they were low rise and squeezed my bottom.

Hey, at least I didn’t say ‘booty’.

I can tell that Jessica’s as uncomfortable as I am, because all three of them are looking at us-

Um, come again?


I count again.






That means one is missing.

Realization comes to my face, because Sirius sees me counting in my mind and says, “Chill out, Lily. James is already inside.”

I am the definition of HORRFIED at this point. He’s inside the house?

I give them all glares, signaling that I’ll be returning. “STAY HERE. DON’T MOVE,” I tell them.

I take Jessica and drag her along with me inside. I close the door and head for the stairs. Why is it that Potter is always the one who's never with the marauders when something bad happens? Why is he always the one who's behind me?

I. Hate. Boys.

“I can’t believe them!” Says Jess with a shiver.

“I know!”

“Um, Lily?”


“Why are we going upstairs?”

“We’re going upstairs because, unfortunately, James would probably go in my room.”

“Yeah and let’s hope he’s not making a mess anywhere else. He’s already made us leave marks on the floors, and I promised your dad we’d clean the house.”

I open my bedroom door.

Before the door opens all the way I see his back is to me, and my bra is dangling from his hand as he raises it above his head. What is he doing? Inspecting it!? That’s when I slam the door open the entire way and it makes a big clang noise. He turns around unexpectedly to find Jess and I in the door way.


His face is sort of a mix between the ‘wtf’ face that Jess pulls off so well, and his ‘I’m totally screwed’ face.

I would laugh, but the situation is far from funny. He calms down a little bit and he gives a tiny little grin.

“34B. Not too bad, Evans.”

He’s smiling.
He’s smiling like this is normal and happens everyday.

And thank God it doesn’t. He’s looking me up and down like Sirius did, except he does it differently. He does it the Potter way. Have all the marauders, like, been trained to do this technique with the eyes? “My, my. Seeing you soaked twice in one day is not that bad.”

I blush. I pull my shirt down as far as it can go. “Um, excuse me?” I hate it when he does that. I feel so vulnerable. ARGH.

He puts his hands behind his back, with my bra still in his grips, and walks over to us.

“Don’t flip out,” He says with a smirk. “As you well know, I’m hosting a sleepover at my house also, and we were playing truth or dare…” His eyes wander aimlessly around the room.

“Go on,” Jessica demands.

“Well, I was dared, and you know that I, James Potter, never turn down dares. Sirius dared me to steal something from your intimate apparel.”

Nice choice of words, Genius.

“So, we needed a distraction for me to take it. But, as I can well see, you seem to be a bigger distraction,” He finishes, eyeing me up and down again. I’m still wet and shivering. “James likes.” Must he talk in third person?

I roll my eyes.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that you guys distracted us from our movie with that big noise so we would come out?” Asks Jess.


“And hosed us down so you could wiggle through without being seen?” I ask.


“Just so you could take Lily’s bra?”

“Yep.” He’s looking triumphant.

Why I ought to…

I’m pretty sure I’m seething.

“Get out!”

“Oh, now that’s not a warm welcoming, is it? I was planning to stay and have a little party.”


Jess and I are pushing him out of my house while I try to grab my bra out of his hands.

He’s laughing the entire time.

I open my front door where Peter, Remus, and Sirius had been waiting and they have amused faces on.

I push him out, and Sirius puts on my bra.

Jessica starts cracking up, while I look like I’m about to throw up. “Alright, James, you won the dare. Let’s go back now,” says Remus, laughing. Sirius is running around the lawn like a mad man yelling, “I’M A SEXY BEAST! I’M A SEXY BEAST! I’M A SEXY BEAST! I’M A SEXY BEAST!” over and over. Does this boy ever stop!?

Now, he’s making a run for Potter’s house and the marauders follow. The marauders and Jess have been cracking up the entire time. I laugh too, because, well come on… how could you not?

But then, Potter turns to me, and gives me a smirk that makes me regret not slapping his smirk off his face in the beginning.

He lifts his shirt to reveal his toned stomach.

“You know you want this, Evans!” He says, before I slam the door in his face.

Jessica turns to me. “It’s time.”

“You sure?”

“Are you kidding? We’re soaking wet! It’s time for revenge, Lily.”

Ok, I know I said I would get Potter back for the last time, but I just don’t feel like I can really go through with it. I don’t know if I can do this.

“I don’t know if I have the guts, Jess. I hate to say it, but the marauders can be quite intimidating.”

“NO! No way are you not going through with our plants for tonight!”

“I don’t know, Jess…”

She takes my wet shoulders and shakes them. “LILY! Have you gone mad?! We have one week until school starts. ONE WEEK! Do you know what that means? Marauders here, marauders there, marauders everywhere! Both of us haven’t gotten them back for anything! Well, to James, yes. But the whole clan, no. You and I have GOT to do this!”

“Okay,” I say with confidence. “I can do this.”

“No, we can do this.”


We’re standing outside Potter’s backyard with our gear.

Haha, yea I know! We have gear!

Jess and me got dry and put our pajamas in the drier and we’re now wearing sweats, but our hair is still damp. We cleaned the house so it was spic-n-span before we came out.

I poke my head up to one of the windows. The kitchen. Off too the next window… The Broom Closet.

Broom Closet? Who has a window in a broom closet?!

We keep walking around the house, Jess leading the way, until we see the marauders through the family room window.

“HALT,” She says as I bump into her back.

“Um… Okay, Sergeant Finelly. Thanks for the warning.”

I can’t believe it. I never thought the day that I spied on Potter would come.

She takes out the binoculars.

Yes, sweet child, she is my best friend.

She went so out for this that she even got war paint. And I, well… I painted my toenails while she was getting ready for the leading role in ‘Predator’.

Come on, does it not remind you of Arnold Schwarzenegger?!

“Okay, target in sight.”

“Jess, you are officially freaking me out here. We aren’t snipers, nor are we trying to threaten a country with a nuclear bomb.”

“Ok, fine.” She chucks the binos (that’s what I call them for short) in the bushes. “But I’m keeping the war paint.” I stare at her with a look that says 'alright, fine, you weirdo'. We peek through the window. They’re sitting on the sofa, in their sleeping bags already, hypnotized by the TV. “Ok, they’re totally hooked. Let’s go set up.”

“Okay,” I say as we use a ladder from Potter’s shed and get up on the roof of the two story high house.

No pressure.
Except if you fall you die.


It’s been about 40 minutes since the marauders soaked us and it’s now around 10:30 so the neighborhood is dark and most of the lights in people’s homes are out. I don’t see his parents' cars in the driveway, so I guess the guys are on their own in that house too. It’s so quiet that you can pretty much interpret what’s happening inside the Potter household. The plan is set. All we have to do is start it off. We’re on his porch. I ring the doorbell, and we run behind a bush.

“Wait, Padfoot. Someone’s at the door.” Potter’s footsteps are getting closer and closer to the door. They seemed to already be in the hallway… probably on their way to the kitchen because the next thing I hear is Sirius’s whining. “OOOOH, come on, Prongs! I’m starving! I want tacos!”

“Dude, do I look like I have tacos?”

“But I want tacos!”

“Oh, God. Why tacos?!” I hear Remus say, obviously annoyed. Um, maybe he has some thing against tacos? They start to bicker about the tacos and I’m sure the whole neighborhood can hear. Our block gets real quiet at night, and I can just picture someone waking up because of stupid teenage boys and their opinions about tacos.

We hear Potter take the last step before he opens the door.

The big oak door bursts open and there standing outside is a very tall, very shirtless Potter in pajamas.

Don’t look at me like that.

I am NOT staring…

that much.

Okay, please tell me that did not just happen? What’s with me today!?

It can’t be me thinking this. Maybe it’s the little man inside my head! Or wait… it would have to be a woman though. Well unless the man inside my head is gay… wow. Let me stop myself there. Here I am freezing my arctic buns off for this revenge plan to work, and I’m talking to myself about whether or not the man inside my head is gay, or if it’s even a man in the first place. It’s probably some weird teenage thing.

Damn hormones.

But it doesn’t matter anyway, because I will never fall for him. I won’t give him that satisfaction. He’s cocky, conceited, selfish, and I am not one to judge on a person’s appearance. And to think, we used to be friends before Hogwarts entered the picture.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

He looks both ways across the porch and says a final time, “Hello?”

“Who is it?”

“I dunno, Remus. There’s no one here.”

“There has to be. At this time of night I don’t think anyone who rings people’s door bells is planning to run away after.”

“Come see for yourself then.”

“But I STILL want tacos!”

“SHUT UP, PADFOOT!” All 3 marauders say in unison.

They all step up on the porch in line next to the other, and look far and wide to see if anyone left. Remus has a white beater on, Peter has a pajama top, so Sirius and Potter both are shirtless.


“Okay, so I guess it was just a prank then,” Remus says.

“Maybe it was the girls,” Peter pipes up.

“Nah, Lily’s too nice. She would probably get back to me, not all of us,” Potter states.


Hee, hee, hee.

For the 15 seconds that they’ve been on the porch, Jess and I got ready. We look at each other. “One,” She raises her wand.

“Two,” I raise my wand.

“Three!” We say together. We pop out of the bush and cast the spell. The marauders looked at us for 3 seconds before realizing that they couldn’t do anything because they didn’t have their wands. The ropes that were once invisible when the boys came out are now visible. Each boy had put a foot in it, not realizing.

The ropes tighten around each marauder’s ankle and pajama bottoms on their left leg, and yank them upward. Jessica and I are gripping our stomachs laughing.

“EVANS! YOU ARE SO GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!” one marauder says. Guess Who.

“Yeah, well there’s nothing you can do now, Potter!” I yell back to him, and resume giggling. They’re all hanging by one foot off Potter’s roof. Upside-down. They’re all yelling at us, telling us to let them go. As if.

Jess and I walk up to the porch. The boys aren’t hung that high, so the tips of their heads come up to our foreheads. Well, Peter being the shortest, makes his head about a foot away from our heads. The house door is still open, so I stand on the WELCOME carpet and say, “Accio Bra!”. My undergarment whizzes around in the house and flies to my hand.

They stretch their arms outwards trying to grab us. But we pull away.

“Let us go! Please!” Says Peter.


“This is pretty illegal, even for us,” Remus says.

“You don’t know what’s coming for you, Evans. You might have won this time,” Potter says to me, “But we WILL get revenge.” He has an amused face, but still has that marauder spirit shining through. All the yelling they did made the whole neighborhood wake up. All the lights are getting turned on and people are coming out of their houses.

“Oh, we’ll be ready for it, no doubt. But I hope that you learned your lesson, Potter,” Jessica says.

“And what’s that?”

I go up to him and squeeze his cheeks like a baby and say, “Girls don’t play nice.”

Everyone is waking up and about 6 neighbors are heading this way to see what 's making all this racket.

“Jess, time to go!”

We dash to my house. The entire time we were laughing all the way to my house the neighbors were yelling things.

“What’s with the damn racket?! I haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep yet!”

“Oi! It’s that Potter boy!”

“Oh, my! He’s dangling from the roof! Poor thing!”

“And so are his little companions!”

I lead Jess through my back yard route and open my back door so as not to be seen by the neighbors. We run to my room and I put my bra back in its place. We change in our new pajamas swiftly and get to bed as fast as we can just as my dad drives up the driveway.

And that is how it’s done.

I will now be putting pictures of the characters and what they look like at the end of each chapter until i am satisfied lol. so my first pik is what remus looks like:

-This actor was in the movie The Covenant

I think I didn't write this chapter very well and it sort of sucks.. lol. But please – change my mind. =] Think of this as a HAPPY THANKSGIVING present! The review box is calling your name! PS- I LOVE YOU!

… did that persuade you?



Chapter 5: Monkeys And Car Rides Home
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

The rest of the week went a bit like this: On Saturday, Jessica and I woke up, had breakfast, packed up her stuff, and then Mrs. Finelly came to get her. My dad didn’t find out about anything from the night before. Petunia didn’t come back until morning, while Jessica and I were having breakfast. My dad woke up hearing something from Petunia’s room and caught her falling in from her window. In mid waffle bite, there was a feud between Petunia and my dad that consisted of her many complaints that she was old enough to take care of herself and that she was mature. But, I agreed with my dad when he said this, sneaking through your window to your boyfriend’s house after dark hours isn’t very mature, considering the fact that you said you were going to the library, nor is it responsible.

So, they argue for about 10 full minutes and then I hear a slam. It was definitely Petunia’s comeback at the punishment dad gave her. Eh well, that’s life.

Petunia has a dark gift. It’s called Raising Hell- especially at home. Enough with the arguments every damn Saturday morning already!

There are two things that happen every Saturday morning; Petunia fighting with dad, and the gossip around our neighborhood. Our block is quite nosy, and has been known to turn into complete gossip central. I think Potter and I are the youngest people on the block besides CDD also known as Mr. Di Angeli and his kids. The rest are all old people. And I don’t mean just nice senior citizens. There are some grandma’s on the block that look like they’ve been alive since the ice age. I guess being that old, they need something to keep them going, and I guess its gossip. And it shits me that they can keep each other, including me, interested. They’re wrinkly old things, like cute little prune people. Of course there are ones that are nice, some that are mean, and ones that are extra nosy. Like ‘hide behind a shrub and peek through a window’ nosy.

Don’t look at me like that, we were NOT nosy. And we weren’t hiding behind shrubs. We didn’t need to; we were wearing black sweat pants and Jessica was wearing war paint. So we weren’t very noticeable.

It’s the buzz of gossip this week. How it happened, who did it, and why. Of course the marauders didn’t say anything to anyone, because Jess and I would strangle them. I think they might be a little afraid of us now. If everyone knew that we did it, I would have the excuse of saying why, and that would get Potter himself into a load of trouble. He pissed us off, and we pissed him back. It’s a piss/piss situation.

One of the neighbors that found the marauders dangling from Potter’s roof was Mrs. Jenkins. She’s one of the few witches on the block. On the weekends I go over to her house and help her out a bit. I’ve known her my whole life, and she’s like my grandma since both my grandparents passed away when Petunia was one years old and I wasn’t born yet.

On Sunday, I arrived at Mrs. Jenkins’s house in the afternoon and I read her one of her new romance novels. She knits in a rocking chair while I read to her about some princess who falls in love with someone from a different caste system in India. It wasn't as tacky as I thought. The story was quite tasteful actually. Except that reading the love scenes out loud to an old woman was a little bit awkward. Mrs. Jenkins always giggles in glee, stops her knitting, and tilts her head to the side to pay attention to those certain parts because they’re her favorite. And, on days when she’s not feeling so well, I take my wand and make her yarn go through different shades of colors. I always add some sparkle in it to make it seem like a little fairy dusted what-ever-she-is-making and make her smile.

She’s extraordinaire, let me tell you. Mrs. Jenkins double checks everything and points out the obvious in very random situations. She asked me three times if the Indian princess had a snog with the servant yet. She’s also very into the gossip, but she keeps her mouth shut about it. That’s what I like most about her because I’m the only person she talks to about it. When ever she finds some juicy secret, she always waits for me to come over and tells me while I cook for her.

The rest of the week was about getting everything ready and together for Hogwarts. That leads me to today, Wednesday. I’ve got errands to run and last minute things I need before I’m off tomorrow. I haven’t seen Jessica since last Friday, so I’m looking forward to seeing her at the station.

This morning I took a shower and wore my dark baggy jeans and a McFly shirt. What? I’m saving up for an Ipod, leave me alone! And besides, Danny Jones is my man.

Petunia’s at her new job at some pet store today to prove to dad that she’s responsible. Oh please, I wouldn’t be surprised if she set fire to one of the cats already. I was thinking of stopping by and getting her some lunch. I don’t know why I’m still nice to her. I hate it, but I just can’t say no. Sometimes I try to bribe her with something nice.

It doesn’t work.

I’m here at “Jaxam's Hamburgers” using some money that dad left for me this morning. I have 50 pounds to use today. Don’t think that my dad gave me all this money, because he didn’t. He left 15 on the table in the kitchen. The rest was a little bit from Marley, my piggy bank in the back of my closet, and tip money from Mrs. Jenkins. I get her groceries, and I tell her that she gives me the money to buy them anyway, but she just kept insisting. She did it the sneaky way for a while. When I was younger I gave the money back to her, but she would find my purse or jacket or something and sneak it in there when I wasn’t looking. After a couple years I just accepted it and told her that I would take the money and this seemed to make her happy.

“I’ll have two cheeseburgers; hold the onions and the pickles on one, please. Thanks.”

The pimple faced boy taking my order looks at me as if he wouldn’t care if I stuck a fork in my eye. He says “Anything else?” in a drowsy voice, like I’m wasting his time.

“No, that’s all.”

I look at his name tag. Well, I’m sorry that you’re working, Mister HELLO MY NAME IS JOHN. You think you’re work is more interesting then how I am going to spend my day today?

At least he doesn’t have to clean on weekends because he spends them here at Jaxam’s. My dad left a note along with the money saying that I have to finish doing the laundry, which really is an understatement because I’m necessarily not finishing it. No one does the laundry but me so I have to DO the laundry, not FINISH IT. I can’t finish something that hasn’t started. The note also said I had to be home by four. Petunia doesn’t do chores and she comes in when ever she wants.

Okay, please tell me that he doesn’t like Petunia more than me. I’m the good one (well most of the time) and the responsible one too. He always makes me do most of the work. Why doesn’t he yell at Petunia about cleaning her shit of a room? Well, he doesn’t really care about our rooms, but come on. Yell at her about SOMETHING other than telling her she’s grounded. I love my dad, but he just relies on me too much. Ergo, he’s always on my ass about things.

“Five fifty.”

I hand him a 10 pound note.

“Four fifty is your change, have a nice day.”

I’m sure.
I’ll send my regards to your mother.


Since I can’t get my driver’s license until I turn 16 (December 10th, four months away!) I have to walk for my transportation. It took 20 minutes from my house to “Jaxam’s Hamburgers” and now it’s been 25 minutes since I left the place. I look down at my watch. It’s going to take another twenty minutes to reach the pet store, and I already ate my burger. The pet store's new and just opened up a week ago. *SIGH*

My life is boring. I need some pizzazz in my world. I should do something fun, or worth risking my life for. Er, never mind. That’s a bit much. I’d like to keep my life, thanks. OH! I can make a list of everything I want to do in life! I mean there’s nothing wrong with setting goals for myself. How peachy, I shall try this.

YAY! I’m all excited now!

Okay, well I can’t write my list if I’m walking. What if bird dung lands on my shoulder? Besides, it’s going to take too long to walk all the way to the humongous pet store.

I took the extra five minutes it takes to get on the Tube and I found a spot on a bench and conjured up a pen and paper when no one was looking. When I was done writing my somewhat long list I went and got my ticket. I sat and waited for the 12:00 train. No one was really here at the station today. Oh well- less people, less waiting.

_4 minutes later_

I look up at the clock and the bell rings. A man comes out and holds out his hand for the tickets. I give him mine and he uses those weird clickety clack things and punctures a whole in it. I look up at him.

“Thank you.”

He gives me a look as if he didn’t care if I said anything at all. What’s with everyone today? So damn grouchy.

I take a seat next to a mother with her two kids. One of the children looks about five and the other is around infant age. I would say about one, one and a half maybe. I give them a smile and take out my list. I skim through it and add some more adjustments to it, giving it one last look over.


1. Get a tattoo on my lower back.
2. Save a pet from harm/rescue an abandoned animal.
3. Get autographs from all the members of McFly.
4. Purchase tickets to see England play, and hopefully win,
in the World Cup. (That one’s for Jessica!)
5. Get a boyfriend before the end of school.
6. Snog with someone in the rain.
7. Make a funny home movie, and then
save it for remembrance.
8. Get a picture taken with someone
in those cool photo booth places.
9. Shave off someone’s eye brows.
(That one’s for Potter, he just doesn’t know it yet!)
10. Bump into someone famous.
11. Become friends with a gay guy.
(Hey, they’re the best guy friends!
They’re like girls… well… except, you know…)
12. Fall in love with someone who will
never leave me, and one day get married.
13. Go skinny dipping in the ocean or the lake at Hogwarts.
14. Moon somebody/show someone my butt
and then run away ashamed of myself.
15. Learn how to play an instrument.
16. Ask Mrs. Jenkins to teach me how to knit.
17. Finally save enough money to get an
ipod, and make it cooler and better than Jessica’s.
18. Make my own dress.
19. Get a job at an old diner.
20. Learn an exotic dance like the tango.

This list needs a name… Hm…

I think I’ll call it THE LL. Short for THE LILY LIST.


Cling clang went the bell as I entered Animal City’s big pet store. This place is HUGE. The ceilings are at least 25 feet high. There are sections for all kinds of diverse species. Close to the ceiling stand many tunnels that line all throughout the store above everyone’s head. I see something crawling inside and I look closer. They’re Hamsters. And they’re all over the place. Well, all over the place inside the tunnels. They’re running so fast, and there are lots of them. Wow. Even the hamsters here are spoiled. They have their own subway system! I bet that these plastic tubes lead all over the store!

Only one question is wandering inside my head.

How the hell did Petunia get a job in a big place like this? The way it’s being run, there’s no doubt that the pay is good. I take a walk along the aisles and I'm right. The tunnels do lead all over the store. They lead all the way to the big mother board of hamster cages in the back wall of aisle twenty. There’s every type of animal imaginable in here. I take a left turn.



I’m staring face to face with a monkey. I take a step back. He, or she (I can’t really tell), makes a weird monkey sound. They sell monkeys here?! I look at the monkey’s name tag. I’m guessing the monkey’s a boy because the name tag is blue and says Timothy.

“Er, okay. Hi, Timothy,” I say as I put my hand out. He takes one hand off the shelf he’s hanging on and shakes it. He gives me one of those animal grunts.

I like Timothy.

“So, how’s life in this big factory?”

He shakes his head in disgust and slaps his forehead, making me laugh.


He points off to the side. There, Petunia is trying to give a cat a bath and is failing terribly. I smirk and turn to the monkey. “She’s not so handy, is she, Tim?”

He fakes a faint and falls over, gripping his heart. I get hit with a fit of giggles before I salute Timmy and make my way over to Petunia. “Er, hey.”

She looks up at me with a scowl. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought you lunch.”

She shoves the cat back down the big tin tub and wipes her hands off with a towel. “About time, I’m starving.” She takes it without a thank you and starts eating it right there.

I can’t believe her. “Your welcome, Petunia.”

She looks up to me as if to say ‘who-gives-you-the-right’. “Excuse me, Freak, but I didn’t ask you to bring me anything. You’re not better than me just because you brought me food.”

“No, Petunia, I don’t-”

“Bubbles, damn it! Come back here!” She puts the half eaten burger down and chases after the shampoo covered cat. It appears that Bubbles made a run for it when she wasn’t looking.

So I’m left alone. With a half empty bottle of shampoo, a half eaten burger, and a tin tub full of cat dander. I look over to see if Timmy is still there. He’s not. No need to mind about me. I’ll be fine here by myself.

Then I hear the loud speaker turn on.

“I would like to inform everyone that there is a monkey on the run. I repeat, there is a monkey on the run. Please remain calm. If you see a monkey hanging by shelves jumping from place to place like Tarzan then let one of the staff members know. He goes by Timothy. He can be quite violent as today he is needed for his bath. He does this every damn week...”

Ha. There’s a reason Timmy wouldn’t want to take a bath. He’s seen Petunia try to handle a cat. I would run for dear life if it was me. I take a walk around the big store. I look at the rats and rodents aisle. I don't look were I'm going and run into someone.

“Shit, I dropped my slushy!”

“Sorry!” I say before I look at him; he bends over to pick up the remains of his blueberry slushy. Luckily there is a trash can right next to us.


He finally looks up at me. He has a surprised look on his face.

"Oh. Um, hi, Lily." We both stare at the floor for what seems like forever. I guess I have to break the ice. “So, How are you guys?”

He shrugs. “We’re okay, I guess. But we could have done without the ankle bruises.”

I still can’t believe I did that, and I’m starting to feel a little bad for it. But I don't let him know that. “Yeah, um. So I have to go...Er, bye.” I walk away from Peter and I can tell he’s looking back at me. I just know it. I turn my head hesitantly to the left a little and see him raise his eyebrow as I walk away. I pretend that I don’t see it.

Peter’s sometimes just a weird kid. He used to be a little chubby when he was younger but by Fifth Year he slimmed down. He has blonde hair and is quite good looking. Jut not in the gorgeous category. I have good photographic memory as I’ve said before, and he really doesn’t look that different than he did in First Year. He has more maturity around the face and shoulders, though. He’s a marauder, come on. Of course Peter’s going to be somewhat attractive. I don’t know how he keeps the weight off. He’s not a stick but he’s not chubby either; just average. He eats the same as he did before, just less disgusting.

I guess it’s a teenage thing.  So, it’s not just me that has to deal with hormones? Or maybe, it was just all that cheese he was eating. As soon as I walk away I run into someone yet again.“Hey, watch where you’re going- Oh, it’s you…”

I look up and see Vernon Dursley looking back at me. I think I set a trend for being the most bumped into for today. He hit me so hard I’m surprised I didn’t go flying. “Yes, it’s me. Do you work here?” I say to the weird looking, rotund, 18 year old in front of me. I rub the pain on my shoulder from the collision. It will become a bruise by tomorrow, no doubt. Great. It can match with the one I have on my hip that I got when I fell out of bed last week.

“Yes, I do. This is my uncle’s business. And one day I will own it,” he says with a scowl. What did I do to him? Maybe Petunia passed some hater genes to him while snogging his brains off.


I push the disturbing thought in the back of my mind and ask him, “Wait, so you’re the one who gave Petunia a job here?”

“Not like it’s any of your business, but, yes, I did.”

“Hah, good luck with that,” I grunt under my breath. So this is the business that Vernon told Petunia he would have in the near future…

“What did you say?” He challenges. Oh, did I offend his little Petunia-Poo? He’s not the only one who knows about their little pet names. From a far distance I hear, “Vernon, darling!”

Petunia comes up to us and gives me a nasty look. She turns her back to me and faces Vernon. They do an Eskimo kiss. I cringe. Petunia rolls her eyes and glares at me. “What are you still doing here? You’re bothering our love vibe. Stop staring at us. You’re acting like a stalker.”

“What? I wasn’t even-” But she doesn’t let me finish.

“Leave,” She says flatly to me.

“Whatever, I was leaving anyway,” I say, brushing off the rudeness that came from her demand. I head away from aisle 23 and towards the door. I give the big store one last look and I’m about the open the door when I feel something brush up against my leg. I look down and Bubbles is rubbing against my shins. Awe.

I lean down and pet Bubbles. She’s a cute cat. Or is it a he? Oh well. Gender doesn’t really matter, does it?

I peak under his/her legs. A girl.

Hey, I was curious!

Bubbles looks like she’s in agony. I know that I can’t take a cat and hide it in my jacket and walk off, but Bubble’s looks desperate. She’s an old cat, I can tell. Probably 5 years old and she’s quite fat. But her legs are lean and look fast. I know, I’ve witnessed her escape. Probably from the workout she got running away from Petunia. What if she has a litter of kittens some where? Or, better yet, she’s in love with another cat that she’s never been able to love, and she misses him (or her, can cats be gay?) and they’ve been separated unwillingly. OH! Like Romeo and Juliet.

Wow, I need a man.

The cat’s a little damp. While my run-ins with Vernon and Peter, Petunia had found Bubbles and finished grooming her. Well, almost. The cat’s hair is sticking up at odd angles. She probably tried to blow try the cat. Bad Idea. I chuckle, thinking about how Petunia must have looked like blow-drying a four legged animal. What frightens me is how she tried to hold Bubbles down. I shudder at the thought.

I scratch behind the cat’s ears and she seems to like it there. The hair around her face, and some spots on her body, didn’t get blow dried. I wait until no one is looking I open the door and pretend I don’t see Bubbles slowly making her escape outside. As soon as the door clangs behind me I smile to myself as I see her scampering down the curb. Her hair sticking up crazily as she makes her way. Her hair sticking up at straight angles reminds me of James Potter. WOAH. That was random. And don’t think anything of the fact that I used his full name. I don’t call him by his first name anymore. I only call him by his surname or his full name. With or without his middle name, depending who’s around him and if I feel like embarrassing him.

I look up and focus on the sky instead. Today the sun's out and it's a little crisp, but Bubbles should be okay.

Setting her free makes me feel so damn peaceful. Something I’m not used to. And I’m enjoying every minute of it. There’s not much peace in my life. It might not be much that I did, setting one cat free. But then, realization hits me. I can proudly cross number two off my LILY LIST.



I take out my grocery list, which is quite long. I get a cart and walk inside the grocery store. After I left the pet store I saw that there was a grocery store down the street and thought it might be better to get my groceries done now. I’m using the fifteen pounds dad gave me, except my dad’s not so good with guessing prices so I’m going to have to use another twenty pounds of my own.

As I enter the store I’m surrounded by plump women, children crying, and old folks who walk twice as slow as the normal one-hundred fifty year olds. Well isn’t this home, sweet home?

I try to hide from all the commotion as two 30 year old housewives battle it out for the last ham.“Get off, Betty. You got the honey barbecued ham last week!”

“No, Leslie! You took the last bottle of champagne last week, get off!”

Er, okay…

I pretend to ignore the little brawl going on between the two women and their passions for grocery endorsed items like ham and make my way down the dairy aisle. I can’t believe how crowded it is, and it’s only 2:30! I don’t even want to think about how it’s going to be around Christmas.

I seem to be the only young one in the store besides the bratty children. I look over the labels of milk.

Broderick Farms Vitamin D milk... No.
Marcus’s Grape Milk... EW, NO.
Leaked Milk with amphetamines... What? Where did it leak from!? And what are ampheta - things?
Pea Milk by Dr. Willie Make I.T... Are you serious? You think I want “pea” milk by someone who’s name is Will He Make It? To what, the toilet?

The world has officially gone mad. What happened to the milk from a cow? NOT milk from grapes, NOT milk from a pea, but milk from a cow! Some damn COW JUICE is all I need.

I try not to let this freak me out more than it already has and I just pick the cheapest, most normal Fat-Free milk off the shelf and put it in my cart. I look over the pine-apple section waiting for the day to go by faster. I have half of the groceries I need. Bread crumbs, onions, and spaghetti is all that’s left.

I take a pack of bread crumbs off the shelf. I freak out, and put it back on the shelf. The two boys I have tried to avoid all weekend are in the next aisle. The two boys I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with until Hogwarts.

I apparently took the last bread crumb box from the shelf; because when I grabbed it I could clearly see through to the other aisle. Maybe if I just quickly get what I need, avoid bumping into them, and resist the urge to roll Potter’s foot over with my cart I won’t have to deal with them…

“Oi, Padfoot! Put the taco shells back on the shelf.”

“NO! You can’t make me!”

"Have you gone mad? Why are you all into tacos all of a sudden?"

“What’s it to you?”

I make a swift curve to the left. In the distance I can hear them still arguing. I get everything I need for my groceries.

I have successfully avoided contact with Sirius and Potter. On the way to the register I stop and stroll into aisle twelve for some, er… necessities, I need before I leave tomorrow. As soon as I turn the corner I see the last two people I want to see.


They have their backs to me and I see them huddled over a box of something I would never imagine them holding.

"Uh, Prongs? What are maxi pads?" He says this with a very confused look on his face.

“Well, you know. Its stuff for… a girl’s… you know. When they are on the, uh, cycle of the month.”

“No, no. I get that, but what’s with the wings?”


I catch myself in mid shock and know that if I stand there like an idiot for any longer they’ll see me. So I swerve the cart around as fast as I can, except I swerve the cart a little too fast that my wheels screech. From the corner of my eye I see them look up. I turn and try to walk away but I can feel their eyes burning into my back.

“Evans?” I hear Potter call out to me.

“Ahoy, there! Evans!” Sirius yells.

I force myself to turn around. “I knew it! I knew I saw red hair in the produce aisle!” Sirius exclaims to Potter. James Potter smirks and walks up to me. “Well, nice seeing you here.”

“Sod off, Potter.”

"Oh, I’m sorry. Were we in the way of your shopping?"

“No,” I say, blushing, a little.

“Please, I insist,” he says as he ushers me with is hand to the direction of tampons.

This time I blush a lot.

"You can have the first pick before Sirius and me. We’re still deciding." I can feel my face heating up, but I can’t give him that satisfaction. So I reply with something I know that’ll get on his nerves.

“I see that you’re still a little bitter about the weekend, Potter.”

“Okay, look-” But before he can reply Sirius walks up and asks me, “Uh, I have a question, Lily. Could you please tell me why maxi pads have wings?”

I don’t know how to take it; as a question asked by a confused bystander or a question asked by an idiot being sarcastic. By the looks of Sirius’s face it seems to be both. I pretend I don’t hear. Potter starts to crack up laughing.

“We-Well, excuse me but, I- uh, have my shopping to finish.” I see Mrs. Potter coming towards us, searching for her two boys. Oh, goodness. Kill me.

“Sirius? Jamesy? I’ve been looking all over for you two! Every time I take you two with me to go grocery shopping you guys run off like a bunch of five year olds. And why are you guys in this aisle?” She gives them a disappointing look.

“TO LEARN!” Sirius, the idiot, proclaims with enthusiasm.

She shifts her eyes and recognizes me. “Oh! Hello, Lily, darling!” She hugs and kisses me. “What a large list of groceries you have!” She says, eyeing my cart. “Surely, they’re too much to carry home. Why don’t we give you a lift?”

“Er, no… that’s okay. I-”

“Oh, nonsense! We would love giving you a lift!” She says, taking my cart and her little basket cart from her arm to the check out line. Well, it would save the trouble of me walking home with forty pounds of food. And you know how I am. I’m a weakling.

Sirius and Potter both come over and put one elbow and rest it on either side of my shoulders. “We would love to give you a lift,” Sirius says. “Yeah, it’s quite comfortable in the back,” Potter says, wiggling his eyebrows. “You should know, Prongs and I love back seats.”

“Don’t even think about trying anything on me”, I scowl at them. I push them away as they start to chuckle. They catch up with Mrs. Potter and when no one's looking, I get a couple packs of tampons and hide them in my jacket.

I thanked Mrs. Potter for finding a check out line available. When they were done paying Mrs. Potter told me that they would be waiting for me outside. I'm now in the check out line and putting my packs of tampons on the counter with relief.

After I pay for everything I head out with my cart. I see Mrs. Potter’s car.

Mrs. Potter’s car is small.

I approach her as she tells the boys to get my groceries and put them in the trunk. “Well… I guess you could find some space in the back, no? I wasn’t expecting so many groceries. I only needed a couple things… That’s why I had a mini basket cart with me. I took our little buggie car. Oh, dear. I hope that’s not a problem,” she says politely.

“Oh, no. It’s no trouble!”

“I put my groceries in the front seat and the boys are putting yours in the trunk. Is it alright if you sit in the back with the boys?”

“Uh- Um… Sure.” I’m hesitant for a moment but I give in and sit in the back seat. The very small back seat.

There’s barely any space for two people in here, and yet Sirius and Potter had found a way. I open the door to find Sirius and Potter on each side. My seat’s in the middle, so I have to crawl over Potter to get there.


And when I thought this day couldn’t have gotten any worse.

The whole car ride back consisted of Sirius and Potter cracking jokes and trying to violate my space bubble. Every time Mrs. Potter ran over a hill, they both raised their hands up on the way down, like they were on a rollercoaster. I just slumped as low in my seat as I could. I tried to get my mind away from the five year olds on either side me, but even I couldn’t tune them out. Damn them.

We passed a park and Sirius called out, “OH! Bunnies!” as he pointed out the window.

Yes. He said bunnies.

But of course, Mrs. Potter had to go for gas. So I was stuck with them for about 10 solid minutes, which was enough time for me to rip my hair out. Two minutes before Mrs. Potter came back to the car, Potter spilled ice cold water in the back of my shirt. I screamed loudly as I took off my seat belt out of shock. I wanted to jump around and get the water off of me. But I forgot that I was in the back seat, so as I stood up I bonked my head on the car’s roof top. I fell abruptly after that…

I landed in his lap.



Him, of all people!

But, eh… it’s not like I had a good selection of laps to fall into anyway. The next thing I heard was Potter saying, “Well, this is a better seat arrangement, isn’t it?”

I have a feeling he planned for that to happen. I don’t know why, but it seems he knows me better than I thought he did.

That was the moment that Mrs. Potter just HAD to open her car door, and find me in her son’s lap. I wiggled back down to my seat as she gave us a quizzical look and I blushed a deep crimson the entire time home, not speaking to anyone.

I came home to the empty house I call home and did the laundry and some of the other chores. When I first entered the laundry room I took a second look at the clothes piled high and sighed. I was worried that I would have alot to do. But, what I worried about the most, was what was going to happen tomorrow when I leave for Hogwarts,

The train ride.

Yay! Finally it's here! =] Dunno if it's any good but the ending is a little different. I can't wait for the rest of the chappies to come! I'm sure that I'll have about atleast 30 before it ends. lol. But other than my boring talk....

Hope you had a happy reading!

Hah! you thought that was it didn't you? you really thought I wouldn't show you another character? how dare you! Don't worry, I have another pik for you!

This is Sirius:

Another actory from the The Covenant.
I know... I can't help it! They're all so cute!
*smiles* Teehee..

Chapter 6: The Train Ride
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Oh my goodness, please don't kill me! GAH! I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG UPDATE! I was just so busy, and my computer is about as sane as Dobby. That is, if computers can be sane? Oh well, I just didn't know what to do next, and I had so many ideas. I just read a couple stories on this site before my muse came back to me and I finally finished this chappie up!

AGAIN, I'M SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG! But I realized I needed to update, so I had to move the story along. xx ENJOY !

I slap my hand over my alarm clock without looking up from my sheets. I set it for five in the bloody morning. I forgot how hard it is for me to wake up in the morning… especially FIVE in the BLOODY morning. I groggily attempt to get up from my sheets. My duvet is lying everywhere besides my bed. I end up on my bedroom floor, two steps away from my bed.


The cause? Half of my duvet hanging on the floor.
The effect? I slipped on it, and fell backwards.

I get up and surprisingly, I’m not in pain. I tug on my tank top pajama shirt deciding what to wear as I open my closet doors. My eyes land on one of my mom’s old clothes. I take out the super long green sweater. But not that weird pukey kind of green color; it was a pretty green. My mom had knit this you know. She would go over to Mrs. Jenkins when I was little and work on projects with her. I know this sounds foolish but my mom said that she knit this because it was the color of my eyes. I still don’t know if I believe it. I don’t think my eyes are that pretty.

I smile as I take it out. I put it on my bed, deciding to wear it. Knowing how long the length of the sweater is, it’s going to be below my butt. I take out some black leggings to go with it. I add my green converse sneakers and green, glittery bracelets for a finishing touch.

I don’t know why I’m taking so much consideration into my outfits lately. I guess I want my school year to start off great. And this outfit seems like a cute comeback. I mean, we’re sixth years now! So much to look forward to… more dances and balls, staying up later, doing more grown up things (I don’t know what that means. That’s just what Jessica told me), and the Hogsmeade camping trip with all sixth and seventh years in the fall!

I can’t wait! I’ve never been camping before. Everyone says that it’s the best part of sixth year. I think it’s just the fact that we’ll be older, and more responsible. We’re growing up, you know? Makes us feel a bit free I’d say.

After taking a shower and drying my hair, I step out of the bathroom and head to my room. I cross Petunia’s room with hesitation, lift my hand, and tap the door. “Petunia?” I call out, trying not to be so loud. I hear a grunt as she whips her door open. “What the hell do you want at five thirty in the bloody morning?” Petunia has bags under her eyes. I try not look at them.

I suddenly feel guilty for trying to talk to her at a time like this. "Um, Well, I-"

“Get to the point, Lily. I need my beauty rest. And I can’t have beauty rest when I’m being interrupted by some freak who can’t even look me in the eye when she’s talking to me.”

I close my eyes and just spit it out. “I know that you know I’m leaving today, and I just wanted to say that I’ll miss you,” I say in one breath. I open my eyes to see her cross her arms. I reach out and give her a hug, but she doesn’t hug me back.

I know Petunia won’t hug me back, it happens every year. I just thought this year might be different, but like always nothing changed. She looked the same as she did when she opened her door.

As I’m getting dressed, my mind wanders in places I haven’t thought about in a while. Like my memories, and how things used to be.

It’s not that I forgot them; it’s just that I don’t want to deal with them. But for some reason, I think about it. One day, maybe, I’ll tell someone other than Jessica. Maybe a couple people that I will learn to trust; people that will care about me as my life moves on. Then they would be the people that really know me. That is, if I let myself trust them. The way I grew up, at one point my insecurities grew because of certain events. It kind of changed me.

I don’t think anyone would really know about a person if they doid't discover everything about them, the good and the bad. I’m usually chipper, and full of wit, as you already know. But I have my moments. I like to think positively as much as I can, though. There is enough darkness in my life that people can’t see; I don’t need more of it. I try not to let it consume me. Truth be told it's always on my mind.

You probably don’t know what I’m talking about, and you might be confused. Don’t worry. One day I’ll be ready to talk about it again. Then maybe everything will be understood.

I trip on my leggings.


And… well- you should probably know by now what’s likely to happen, and why I have a new bruise.


“Okay, so I’ve devised up a plan,” I say to Jessica on the other side of the compartment. Let’s not go through the embarrassing car ride to the station and how I almost killed off an eighty year old man. For now.

“What kind of plan? OOOHH! Are we going to steal something!?” Jessica asks, oh so eagerly.

“No, I’m not you.”

She takes offense and fake gasps, putting a hand over her heart.

“ANYWAY… I’m talking about a plan to avoid idiot Potter- er, no…more like the whole marauder crew actually.”


“I am not leaving this compartment. I’ll get changed here and I’ll be the last to leave here,” I say. I fold my arms across my chest with a smile on my face.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Okay, Two problems. One: We can’t be the last to get off the train, there isn’t going to be a carriage ride back for us to Hogwarts. There won’t be any thestrals left!” Jessica says. Jessica can see thestrals, but I can’t. Don’t know why, though. It kind of bothers me that I can’t see them too. I want to know what they look like.

“And Two: You can’t stay in this tiny little compartment for 2 whole hours. You’re Lily. You’ll freak out. Get Paranoid. Become a victim of Insomnia. You won’t have enough courage or strength left in you to hold yourself from going to the bathroom and wait until Hogwarts. Basically, you can’t do it. And besides, you can’t change your clothes in here.” She crosses her arms, matching my posture.

I uncross my arms. “I am so not like that…”

Jessica stares at me tilting her head to one side. “…all the time,” I finish. Maybe I am, but being an insomniac? I don’t think so!

I don’t hope so.

“Well, I can’t help it! I was raised this way! My dad expects me to fix and finish and clean everything. And I’m not just talking about chores. It’s like he has none of this ‘parent’ crap for Petunia so he thrusts her responsibilities to mine. It’s a double whammy! I’ve grown up with this since I was seven. It’s not like I had a choice.”

“Oh, but, Lily, you do. You could step up to your dad, and tell him you’re only human. You could patch things up with Petunia.” She takes off her jacket. Jessica positions her knees on her seat and opens her trunk from behind her.

I sigh and look out the window, resting my head in my right hand. “I wish it was that simple, Jess. But it’s not. It’s just too complicated. Too hard. I guess I’ll have to live with it. Or maybe someday I’ll fix it, who knows.”

Jessica ruffles through the contents of her trunk. “It doesn’t have to be hard. You can do it. I know that there’s something inside of you always protesting against things you go with sometimes, you just can’t see it. You just gotta break out of that mold that others see you in. One day you’re going to turn into one bad arse.”

“Hah, I can’t wait for that day,” I chuckle. I love it that Jessica says ‘arse’. I’m from a different part of England where we say ‘ass’ except it sounds like there’s an ‘o’ in the beginning, but it's still spelled 'arse'. Jessica was born in Liverpool. I mean everyone says it somewhat like that, you know, all the same. But she’s always had accent that made her say certain words in a funny way. I never knew if she realized this or not. I don't think it has anything to do with the fact she's from Liverpool, but maybe because she's one quarter japanese and one quarter german and one half english, born in england. Her family history goes way back. I noticed a long time ago that Jessica's mother pronounces things just like Jess. Like the word 'arse'.

She turns around and hands me a letter she takes out of an envelope.

I take the piece of parchment from her hands. “What’s this?”

“Open it, genius.” She smiles at me, her whole face lighting up. “It’s something I received after the sleepover… I just wanted to wait until now to let you know.”

“I’m getting all excited!” I gaze at the letter wondering what it could be. She sits next to me.

“OPEN IT!” Jessica bellows.

I calm myself down a little, trying to give a hint about that to Jessica, and open the letter. After four minutes of reading cursive handwriting I stop. Wow. Why didn’t I know it would be this good? Her purse today is a Prada bag! It’s a knock off none-the-less, but still… It’s a knock off Prada! You know that I can read Jessica’s moods through her purses. She’s completely overjoyed!

“Oh- EM- Gee!” I smile and turn to Jessica. She’s jumping. She’s jumping on the seat. On our seat. She’s been jumping since I opened the letter. I knew I felt my butt vibrating somehow; I was just too into the letter to care about it!

She stops jumping and her face goes all mild. “You did not just say ‘Oh- EM- Gee’. You remind me of snobby Petunia when she was on the phone at your house.”

I crinkle my eyebrows. "Really?"


“I’ve never heard her say that before…”

“Um, Hellooooooooo. Don’t you remember when we were eaves dropping on her conversation with Vernon that one time?”

I rack around in my brain until I remember the memory. “Oh, yeah!” I felt so dirty after that, I had never eaves-dropped in my life before. For sure I was scared Petunia would find out and kill me in my sleep. She has a thing about privacy… and me.

“She was talking about how it was so ‘Oh- EM- Gee’ that Vernon had gotten a Mercedes Benz for his 18th birthday. Please, he looks like a washed up 20 year old bowling pin.”

“Yeah, that’s what I think too! That weirdo…”

“WE’RE GETTING OFF THE SUBJECT!” Jessica shakes both her fists like a whining five year old.

“EH? Um- OKAY!” I kind of scream back at her.

“So, how excited are you for me?”

“Tons! I mean… a prefect! Ever since Ella Backilla transferred to Beauxbatons Academy this summer her spot for 6th year prefect was open, but not anymore. My best friend got it! That’s great!” I hug her.

“I know! I didn’t think it would’ve been me you know? It’ll be my first year as a Prefect. I never thought I’d become one. But I was so happy when I found out!” She lifts her badge into the sun light from the window. It shines in all its bliss.

“Oh, but I never asked what was up with you, Lily. I apologize. Tell me, anything new happen lately?”

I squirm in my seat. “Uh… Let’s just say I had an interesting time arriving at the station.”

“What happened? Sounds juicy.” Jessica moves back to her seat so she’s facing me and put her legs pretzel style on the seat. Great. This is her ‘I want to here a story’ set up.

I didn’t want to go through this embarrassing story. Did I not say I didn’t want to go through it!? Damn. How life has stricken me.



“No you didn’t!”

“Yes,” I clarify, “yes I did.” Jessica cups her hand over her mouth to control her laughter.

“And that’s when I almost went flying toward the moving train at platform 10,” I say.

Jessica was like a thirsty puppy wanting more to drink and my story was Gatorade. She just couldn’t stop laughing, even though I couldn’t stop myself from acting a little proud at some moments.

“What happened to the old man?”

"I don't know, let's just hope my dad didn't run him over on the way back!"

I cannot believe I said that.

Jessica’s full of giggles and it makes a goofy grin appear on my face.

“See, I told you. I can stay in this compartment the entire time. I love it. I can’t believe I never thought of this before,” I say, lying down across the compartment seat, resting my head on my purse. I cross my legs.

“Yeah, I’m surprised you made it this long. One whole hour. But it’s kind of boring to tell you the truth. I’m so used to going over each other’s compartments and saying hi to all of our friends.”

We’re both lying down on our seats, facing the same way. Except I’m sort of in the fetal position. What can I say? I’m creepy that way.

“Sorry, I just can’t go. I don’t want to deal with a certain group of four boys.”

“Unless their names are Danny, Dougie, Tom, and Harry, right?”

“That’s right. The only four boys I will talk to are all the members of McFly.”

“You have an obsession with them, you know.”

“You just figured that out?” We laugh it off and start talking about how things are going with Jess and her boyfriend, Jeff, of one month and a half.

Jessica pulls her long sleeve shirt up and looks at her watch. “Hey, it’s almost time to get changed, Missy.”

"Alrighty then." I get up and pull my trunk down.

“There’s not enough room for the both of us, you know.”

I look at her impossibly. “What?! No! I told you, I have to stick to the plan!”

"So?! You can just go straight to the bathroom and back, undetected. Just keep your eyes open. Besides, I got out the last time! We’ve been stuck in here for an hour and a half, and we’re almost there. Get out!"

I grip my clothes. “Noooo!!!!”


"WHAT!" I shout back at her.


She pushes me out of the compartment and shuts the door. She completely takes advantage of the fact I have no strength to stop her.

“No! Open this door right now! JESSICA MARIE!”

That’s not fair!


I take cover behind some really tall seventh year boys who’s names I don’t know. They’re the really popular guys from Hufflepuff. I use them as decoys to get to the bathroom since they’re headed in that direction.

Changing into my clothes was easy. It’s coming back to the compartment that I’m worried about.

I quickly get out of the bathroom stall, mirror-check myself, and head straight to my compartment. As soon as I walk out of the bathroom door I collide with a bunch of girls rushing their way in. Everyone's doing their last minute changing before we all arrive. I hate getting stuck in Uniform-Changing traffic.

I see Jess in the middle of the corridor away from the compartment. I glare at her for about five full minutes.

“YOU,” I say accusingly.

“Oh, come off it. I never said I would let you stay in when changing arrived,” she says, smiling.

“Bologna! I told you that I wanted to stay in here the entire time.” I cross my arms, waiting for her response. “And why aren’t you in our compartment?”

“I came out to find you.”

“I cannot believe you pushed me out.”

“I had a change of heart,” she says, smiling. “Come on, don’t be mad. Besides, we said that each year we would switch! Don’t you think it would have been a bit unfair if I left?”

I look at the floor. “Well, maybe…er…okay-so I forgot about that.”

She puts an arm over my shoulder. “Besides, I cleaned up our compartment and the thestrals await us in about thirty minutes. And, no rotten Marauders have found us…”


Our way back to get our trunks was noisy as we walk through the crowds of people. Unexpectedly, strong arms slide around my waist and lift me up so my heels are just above the ground.

I gasp at this abrupt contact and lose my breath for a second. For a moment it feels…nice. I feel hot breath near my ear, and it kind of makes me want to giggle.

But my fantasy of nice shatters into a million pieces.

“Hello, Lily Flower. You have a cute little arse on you, you know that?” I can sense him behind me with a smirk on his face.

I lift my foot, not like I could lift it anymore, and stomp on his toe. He staggers backwards on the floor. Followed by chuckles of laughter coming from next to us.

Sirius is laughing his head off, Peter’s looking worried, and Remus chuckles a bit. He dusts himself off and stands up. “Good morning to you, too,” he says sarcastically.

I narrow my eyes. He ruffles his hair, and says, “You know, Evans, I always thought you and I were like Romeo & Juliet.” He lifts his eyebrows suggestively and leans his head forward, smiling again. That menacing smile…

I snort, not caring about trying to hide it, and cross my arms, my jaw set. “More like Macbeth, don’t you think?” Jess smiles, realizing I indeed won the conversation. She leans in close and whispers from behind me, “I like this side of you.” I give a hint of a smile, before Sirius says, in a pompous voice, “Enough Shakespeare!”

Potter reunites with his boys and we have a staring contest. He flashes me another smile, except a bit more genuine than the first. “Lily.”


“Go out with me.”


“Come on.”


Jessica and I walk past them to our compartments. Potter calls after me from behind as they run after us. I open the door to the compartment, and I pretend not to hear anything.

Potter takes in a breath, resting his hand on the side of the compartment door as I get my purse. “Please.” He doesn’t say it in a pathetic or desperate way, but in a way that somehow makes me feel bad for saying, “No,” back at him.

Our purses in hand, we step off the train as Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Potter follow behind us. We speed up our walking rate, which makes them speed walk and run at the same time.

I don’t want to deal with him right now. Why couldn’t he have picked a different time then now? I just arrived! The first second he sees me he pounces on my like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

The crowd bustling out of the train separates us from the marauders. We rush into the nearest thestral carriage. Not that I can see the thestrals. Because I’m not Jessica.

Don’t look at me like that, I’m not pouting…


I open the door. In mid-step, to my surprise, I see Frank Longbottom sitting on the other side of the carriage by himself. Him of all people. Frank’s a special one, he is.

“Lily, as much as I love you, I do not like having your arse in my face-” But Jessica notices the hold up and looks inside.

“Oh,” she says, in a voice of unexpectedness.

Frank gestures with his eyebrows whether we’re going to come in or not. He’s always managed to do that. Say what’s on his mind with out actually saying it. He always uses his hands, facial expressions, etc. and everyone always knows what he’s talking about. It surprises me sometimes too that I know exactly what he’s telling me. Frank Longbottom reminds me of a mime sometimes. Except he has brown, medium length hair, a slender body, and doesn’t have milk white skin and painted tears under his eyes. If he did, then I would run away.

I take a hesitant step in, trying to be calm about it. Jessica follows me in and shuts the door behind her. We sit, say, fourteen million feet away from him. From anyone else’s point of view this would seem comical. Girls sitting on the complete opposite side of a typical Hogwarts boy in a carriage.

Frank is not your typical Hogwarts boy.

He blasts his disk man and punk rock music plays at a very high volume. He lies on his back, one leg hanging off his seat, the other up on the seat, and taps his feet rapidly to the beat of the music. He closes his eyes as if the music is some angelic peaceful escape.

Jessica and I look at each other at the same time.

Frank is… well, questionable. Frank Longbottom is the one who desperately wants to be in a rock band. He’s the scruffy boy who always has his school robes in anything but neat order. The way he wears his clothes is the same as any other Sixth-Year Hogwarts School Boy, except his is the most untidy. You wouldn’t even need to look him in the face to tell it was him. He gets yelled at by the teachers constantly but never does anything about it. The marauders wear their uniforms sloppy, too, but to an extent. A laid back no-care-in-the-world kind of untidy uniform. Not a I-don't-know-how-a-belt-works kind of untidy uniform like Frank. His boxers usually stick out. All the third years and below giggle most of the time, and point at him.

I don't know if it's becuase they fancy him or if it's because they think he's weird. I honestly don't care, either way.

He doesn’t talk that much, but when he does, it’s usually something appalling. Like something you wouldn’t think he’d say, because he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, when really he heard it all. Frank is somewhat of an opinionated person, although some think he’s a mute and doesn’t share is opinions.

He is the person everyone goes to for advice. No matter how weird it seems, he’s the one everyone goes to when they have a problem. He’s loyal, and listens to his um, clients? Can I call them clients?

He meets up with his ‘clients’ at one of the picnic tables outside in the courtyard. It’s the picnic table in the middle of all the rest. Everyone knows that. It’s like it’s his table that has an invisible FRANK sign floating above it in big green neon letters. No one really cares because they know Frank has a client almost everyday and needs his table. Besides, most people don't care because it's a picnic table. I mean, no big deal right? Except a first year last year. She started crying when Frank sat on her books and fell asleep in the sun. She couldn't get it from under him and she was so embarassed and upset she didn't know what to do. In the end Frank ended up having a sun burn and detention for missing Potions and the girl got her books back and got off clean.

He lies atop of that certain picnic table, next to his client, who always also seems to be in the same position atop of the table. The person talks to Frank. And Frank gives them advice on how to deal with the situation. He listens and stays quiet while smoking his cigarette. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Dear Frankie, here, smokes fags almost everyday. When he’s with his clients his clients smoke with him too. They share the fag back and forth. Most people who come to him are usually guys anyway, so I guess they... er, don’t care? Maybe it's a guy thing, I have no idea. Brotherhood bonds maybe?

Of course Frank gets detention when McGonagall catches him. No other teacher really bothers because they know McGonagall’s already on top of it. I’m not saying he’s the only student that smokes, but he’s the only one who dares to do it out in the open. Anyone else would smoke in the bathrooms and get rid of the smell before they leave, or smoke them outside at night, or when they visit Hogsmeade.

It shocks me to think someone you wouldn’t expect would know about most of the gossip and about everything that’s going on. Everyone’s secrets. Everyone seems to trust him. And he doesn’t mumble a syllable. Frank, I think, has a complex personality. Most people don’t see it, but I notice it. Most of the upper classmen (fifth years and up) have come to see oh-yee-trustworthy-loyal-Buddha-Frank.

I don’t know who has or hasn’t gone to him but I know that much. Neither Jessica nor I have gone to him for anything though, I’ll tell you that. It’s not that we’re creeped out by him, its just we don’t know what to say or do in front of him. Like right now.

He acts so simple, without a care in the world, but he’s so complicated it’s hard to explain. I think he knows who he is, but no one really gets it. I could care less about him; really, he’s just a person like everyone else.

I look at my watch. It’s only been a minute.

“BLEEEECCHHHHH,” he burps, interrupting my thoughts, and then there is a dead silence in our carriage. He goes back to tapping his feet to the music, not caring about Jessica. Or me. Or his digsusting belch.

That’s Frank Longbottom for you, ladies and gentlemen.

WOOHOO. Frank Longbottom has just been introduced! Trust me, this won't be the last of him. Actually, he's an important character I'd say. But I'm getting ahead of myself.... Oh, and for all the people that reviewed my last chapter and commented me on the fact that Lily isn't allowed to use magic outside of school, I have come up with a solution/rule:

Back in these days, even though it is present day now in the story, the rules that are made about magic being used outside of Hogwarts from the Ministry doesn't exist yet. In this story era, Harry is not born yet, and other tragic events haven't happened yet. So, the Ministry says you are allowed to used your wands outside of school but it will be supervised and watched, so you can't do anything menacing to someone else. And you have to be fifteen years of age, and have qualified for your O.W.L.S. or N.E.W.T.S. depending on your age.

MOVING ON... I know you guys are really excited for this chapter's picture! Alot of people couldn't wait, so, here it is!

The next character is... PETER!

I know, ANOTHER CHARACTER FORM The Covenant I'm sorry, it's just he's so perfect for it! lol =]


Chapter 7: Backflips And Rivals
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Sitting down quickly at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, I pull out my book from my bag and start turning the pages. It’s the same book I started at the sleepover and I already read it four times. Today’s a nice Saturday morning. I just came back from my trip to the bathroom, and found that Spunky, one of my favorite house elves, had my breakfast prepared for me already. The birds are chirping, the deer are frolicking, and there’s not one marauder in sight.


Oh, who an I kidding? There are no chirping birds, the only deer I know about are probably in the Forbidden Forest, and I'm not even sure about the last one, which kind of scares me. The marauders always seem to be early birds, like me, and are alive and alert before noon. That's something I can't say about Jessica, or the rest of Hogwarts. Professor McGonogall isn't even up yet! The only professor I know that's always up this early on a Saturday is Professor Dumbledore. He's actually in his chair right now, at the staff table, reading his paper. He has his blue robe on, his spectacles dangling on his nose, and a big mug the size of a house elf that reads, "My best friend went to China, and all I got was this stupid mug".

Even though it’s eight o’ clock, the last time I saw any of the boys was yesterday on the train to Hogwarts. I turned down, yet again, another one of James Potter’s requests for a date. Actually, it’s kind of strange not seeing them already. It’s only been a full day and a half since I’ve arrived. That’s a lot of time for them to create some damage. You’d think they’d be all over the school right about now. For some reason it makes me uneasy, because this morning is actually quiet. Too quiet.

Something is definitely up!

I, along with every other student, have classes Monday. That’s why we arrive on a Friday evening. Our arrival yesterday (as we arrive on the same day every year) gives us time to get our things together and suit ourselves before the start of term begins. Last night, before dinner started in the Great Hall, Dumbledore gave us his accustomed speech for the year. A reasonable amount of things have changed this year. Dumbledore said that everyone taking Muggle Studies this year is going to be working on more hands-on projects. Many were confused and gave puzzled looks, and he explained more about what he meant. Students in Muggle Studies courses will learn more on the muggle way of life, like how to use electronics, how to cook famous cuisines from all over the world, and how muggle banks and muggle money work all around the world, not just Britain. So basically, it’s like the American Home Economics course.

Dumbledore also discussed issues about taking trips and leaving the school, mentioning Hogsmeade, school dances, and this year’s camping trip! YAY! You have no idea how happy I am about this trip. I’ve been waiting since last year for this. Sixth and Seventh years will be spending one whole week in Hogsmeade! The only problem is that it’s in November. It’s the end of August today, so the trip is two months away. He’s also expanded a few rules. Students belonging in different houses (fifth years and up) can visit other common rooms, as long as the password is said in secret. He has a list of every student attending Hogwarts and a name glows up if someone finds out the password of a house that’s not theirs.

But that’s not all; the school is also going to celebrate muggle holidays from countries all over! Some that he mentioned were Halloween, Thanksgiving, Cinco di Mayo, The Buddha’s Birthday, and Earth Day. And get this, he’s even allowed common rooms to have television sets! So people can watch their TV shows when ever they want. Professor Dumbledore told us that if we abused this privilege, the televisions would be removed immediately. Psh, it's satellite television! We can watch Asian channels if we wanted too. The only abuse that’ll be going around is people fighting for the remote.

I take a big bite out of my Belgium waffle and savor the yummy flavor. Did I mention how much I love the house elves? I turn the next page of my book and set my fork back on the table. I gaze around the room. I’m the only one at the Gryffindor table up this early. There are at least five students from each house at their own tables, except me. I feel like a hermit, here by myself.

Two hours go by and I finish reading my book. I look up again and see the population of students in the Great Hall increasing by only a little bit. I’m still the only Gryffindor to be awake at 10 AM. I take my belongings and walk towards Gryffindor Tower. As soon as I open the door to the common room I spot a flyer, in the middle of our bulletin board, sticking out from all the rest. It reads:

“Hear Yee, Hear Yee. To celebrate our first day at Hogwarts, we have decided to throw a before term celebration. In other words… PART IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM!

You’re probably thinking, a party already? What’s there to celebrate? Well, our fellow bunnies, there are plenty of things to party for! How about the fact that we’ve actually made it back to Hogwarts for another year?! This is your chance to loosen up before dreadful term starts Monday. And because it’s the first party of the year, we’ll be nice.


In the name of Chocolate Frogs,

The Marauders

I can’t believe them! It’s been, not even, two full days and they’re already throwing a party! Will there ever be tranquility at Hogwarts? Where could they have possibly gotten the necessities they would need for such a party so quickly, I have no idea. Do they have a secret tunnel that leads to a lair of party junk that we don’t know about?

My mind ponders as I walk up the girls’ dormitory. Taking a stand in front of the door to sixth year girls, I rest my hand upon the cold brass knob and turn it. To my surprise, Jessica’s awake along with some other girls getting ready in the morning. Jess is lying on her bed (still in her jammies) and reading her Herbology book. I don’t know what’s more shocking; Jessica being awake before noon or reading her Herbology book. She’s usually in neither category.

She looks up and waves me over to join her. I walk slowly trying not to disturb most of the girls that are still sleeping. Some are sleepily calmly, and others, well, others are snoring. Really, who ever thought that chicks were always quiet and gracefully elegant was a git. Tina Madreffy is snoring snot bombs over there in the corner and Macy Leeves, the girl that sleeps next to Jess, is talking to herself in her sleep. What does that make her… a sleep talker? Talker sleeper? Sleeper talk woman?

Oh, hell.

“Why are you up? And in the name of all things magical, please don’t tell me you’re reading the study of Herbology for fun,” I say, sitting down on her four-poster. Jessica rolls her eyes and adjusts her glasses. “I have a bet going on with Remus that I can beat him in Herbology. Who ever scores higher on the first test wins.”

“When was this bet established?”

“It started last night in the common room in front of most of the sixth year girls and the marauders.”

“What about the other guys? Just the marauders were there?”

“Well everyone else either wasn’t in our grade, or went to bed already.”

“Oh, Okay… Well, why are you studying now?”

“Err... Um…” She glances around and looks from side to side. I notice a glossy tip of paper sticking out from the corner of her text book. I smirk. I pull the magazine out of her grasp.

Witch Weekly?”

“Shhh! Not so loud!” She grabs it back and shoves it under the covers. “I want people to think I’m studying!”


Jess rolls her eyes again. “You honestly ask too many questions. Isn’t it kind of obvious? After making a big bet with Remus in front of most of these girls,” she motions with her eyes, “I have to look determined! I have to make it look like I’m really studying, so they’ll see how far I’m getting. Then anyone who dares to doubt Mrs. Finelly-Beckham will look like a total twat.”

“Finelly-Beckham?” I laugh.

She grins. "Well, I can’t forget about the family name."

“You sound like a mobster.”

“Hah, like your neighbor Mr. Di Angeli.”

“CDD!” We shout in unison. Everyone turns around to look at us, but we don’t care.

“Let’s go get breakfast,” she asks me.

“No, I already had mine.”

“Who cares? I’m hungry.”

“No, and before I forget you still owe me big time! We DID end up running into the marauders on the train.”

“Hey, I can’t stop nature’s course,” she winks at me. This time I roll my eyes. “Fine, but the next time we go to Hogsmeade, your buying me something from Honeydukes.”

“Deal.” We shake on it, and I wait down stairs as Jessica gets ready.

The large common room is filled with a good amount of students. I’d say about 20, which isn’t bad, considering there are at least fifteen students in each Year in Gryffindor. Most of them are huddled around, watching the plasma screen TV. A third year flips through the channels. There are 10 different channels from the USA, 2 different channels from China, 3 different cooking channels, 6 different channels from Canada, every channel you could possibly watch in the United Kingdom, plus a million more. It seems like Dumbledore’s been investing quite a bit of money for all this. No wonder he’s favored by the students. I’m proud to say, DUMBLEDORE ROCKS MY WORLD! He’s probably my favorite staff member, next to Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn, of course.

There are some things that McGonagall does that are just… I don’t know how to say it. Things that you would least expect from her, things that you think she’d never say in a billion years. Yet, she shocks you every time. Slughorn is just an all around good guy; well he tries to be anyway. He’s always bubbly, and so kind to me. I gotta give him some props! I mean I’m his favorite student in Potions; he even likes me more than Severus Snape! His class is a breeze, and I ace that class every year.

“Ready,” Jessica says, walking down the stairs. We glance at the television before we step out of the portrait hole. It’s on some Chinese channel with Kung-Fu warriors fighting an epic battle on a mountain.


The Great Hall is finally seating a good amount of students. There are a few cliques here and there, but other than that, it’s all good. Spunky pops on top of the table in front of Jessica and me, startling us. She starts to apologize profusely and we tell her its okay. After 10 minutes of trying to lower Spunky’s heart rate and breathing, Jessica finally tells her what she wants. After breakfast, we stroll on the grounds and meet up with some of our friends from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.

We stop and sit in front of the lake and just talk. After a while, people start to make their way over to the lake as well. I look to my left and I see him all the way across the lake. Jessica follows my gaze to Amos Diggory and chuckles. “Go talk to him, Lily.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Lily, I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at him lately. Just go say hello. Or better yet, ask him if he wants to go to the party with you!”

My heart stops just thinking about it. “I’ll puke. All over him. All over his shirt, his nice shirt… Oh, would you look at those triceps…”

“Snap out of it,” she nudges, laughing a bit. “Here, I’ll just go up and ask him for you…”

My eyes go wide. “No. NO!” She brushes her bum off from the grass and sprints slowly towards him to toy with me.

“Don’t toy with me, Woman!” I yell. I chase after her, and I can hear her giggling.

No, No, No!


*pants like a dog*

Jessica’s running, she’s running, she’s… she’s going to run straight into Amos Diggory’s back! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

But she stops. She stops? Um, what?

She’s two feet away from him and he has his back to her, having a talk with his friends. I slow down and shake her like crazy. Looking amused, she asks, “Are you done?” I let go of her. “Now see, that wasn’t so hard. It was the distance I needed to cover. Now, all you have to do is suck up that courage you have deep down, and ask him to the party!”

But Jessica says this so fast and in such an excited tone I don’t realize watch she’s saying. That is, until she stomps on my foot, making me grab a hold of it, and knocking me off my one foot that’s keeping me standing, sending me straight into Amos before she makes a run for it. He catches me just in time, and I get so captivated in his pretty blue eyes that my brain doesn’t respond to him when he says, “Whoa, are you okay?”

But I snap back to reality at once. I mentally scorn Jessica into oblivion. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” he apologizes. Amos Diggory is apologizing. Apologizing to me!

He ruffles his hair nervously, and it reminds me of James Potter. “Oh, its okay, my mistake. I’ll just leave you be…” and I take step. Amos puts a hand on my shoulder and tells me to hold on. His friends break into groups of two and go their separate ways. He waves his hand and calls out goodbye to some of his buds. He turns to me and smiles.

Oh, what a nice smile.

“Hey, Lily.” I bite my lip.

“I don’t even remember the last time we said hello to each other!” he says.

“Er, yeah. I noticed that we haven’t talked in a while, too. How was your summer?”

“Great. My mom and I went to  stay at a beach in France.” He looks behind his shoulder and smiles to a group of girls, and then turns back to me. “Oh, that’s cool,” I say.


“Um, my summer was… a little bit unfavorable.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

“Sodding James Potter…”

“Oh,” he says, understanding. “He’s a bit of a prick, trying so desperately to get you on a date with him. He’s evolved into more of a loser this year. Have you seen his Quidditch skills? And he blames me for what happened last year…Psh.”

I’m puzzled. “Um, yeah, I guess.”

He shifts all his attention to me and he asks, “So, I heard that there’s gonna be a party in Gryffindor tower.” A group of fourth year girls giggle pass us and he winks at them, then gazes back to me. “Yep,” I say.

Oh, how very charming of you, Lily. Just go ahead and give him one word answers like you’ve never seen a dictionary. I am such an idiot to think I can hold up a conversation with Amos Diggory, Hufflepuff God. Who do I think I am?

“So, are you going with anyone…?” he asks.

I feel myself start to sweat. He couldn’t possibly be interested…in me?

“No, actually, I’m not. I don’t think I can get a date that fast. I don’t really think I'll go.”

He looks disappointed. “Oh. Well I was hoping you’d ask me to go with you.” He looks at me through his short straight hair under the sun. Oh, he is so foxy.

I can’t believe he just said that. I’m completely startled. I’ve turned into a tomato. There’s no denying it now. I don’t even want to look in a mirror. I momentarily lose my breath before I just come out and say it. “Do you want to go with me?”

He’s smiling, looking satisfied with himself, I can tell, and I don’t know how the hell that question just popped out of my mouth. “I would like that a lot. Yes, Lily, I’ll go with you.”

I smile at him nervously. He winks at me and whispers in my ear that he’ll pick me up in front of the Great Hall at 7:30 tonight. After he walks away, I just stand there. Until my mob of friends come to tackle me, saluting me on the back. Jessica congratulates me. I no longer have the desire to stab her with a pick ax. I hug her senseless and she stumbles back.

“Jessica, you’re a genius!”

She looks at me as if to say ‘you just realized this?’ and says, “I know I am, Darling.”

We walk back to our common room and I replay the scene with Amos over and over again in my head. Wow, he knew just what to say to get me to ask him. He made it easier for me, and I could sense he was comfortable around me. Oh, jeez… am I that obvious?!

We enter the common room to find some fifth years in a study circle, the marauders in a study circle, and some seventh years in a study circle. Honestly, why are they studying ahead before classes even start? Now that’s just mad. First it's Remus and Jessica, and now it's all the little brave hearts of Gryffindor. I alway give the students in Gryffindor a nickname sometimes. Little brave hearts sounds reasonable. Reminds me of Die Hard. GO BRUCE WILLIS FANS!

I sit on the couch, in my tank top and denim shorts, just thinking. Jessica asks if I’m okay and I say yes. She tells me she’s going to take a little break and go upstairs to our dormitory. “I’ll be up there reading magazines and eating popcorn, if you need me,” she tells me with a smile. “Okay,” I reply.

And I stay there and sit. And sit some more. I’m so dumbfounded. I can’t believe I asked one of the most popular guys at Hogwarts to a Gryffindor party. And I can’t believe he said yes. He said yes like he was interested, and that’s what’s got me befuddled. I’m not a gorgeous top model, I’m not a size 0 with no curves, and I don’t have beautiful straight hair. I guess I’m okay looking, I’m a size 5 and have hips (thank my mother for that) so I guess I maybe have an hour-glass shape? I don’t know… And my hair, oh goodness, is a violent shade of red with lighter streaks of orange intertwined. I have naturally thick, long, and wavy hair, falling around the middle of my back. How could I possible look appealing to him?

I still can’t believe it.

My eyes are looking straight ahead and I don’t even realize people leaving the room, some walking out of the portrait hole and some heading up to their dormitories. I can’t for the life of me figure out why me, Lily Evans, has a date with Amos Diggory. I had the same face walking up to the castle, and Jessica called me love struck. Maybe I am, I don’t know. But what I do know is that I need time to just sit and rest. I need to think this through. That’s why Jess wasn’t all surprised when it was the first thing I did; just taking a seat and staring into space, not believing the position I was in.

I hear the voices of people shrink as more and more people empty the common room. I feel someone sit next to me and wave a hand in front of my face. The hand tears me away from my thoughts. “Welcome back to mother earth, Evans,” James Potter says with a smirk. “Shut up,” I growl. I look around. We’re the only ones left in the common room. I have a hunch that he might have planned this, I just hope I’m wrong.

He moves closer. I eye him suspiciously. I keep my back stiff. We glance at each other. I keep my eyes locked on his arm as he puts it around me (or around the couch, rather). Without realization I lean away from him in the process, with my back still straight as a board.

I feel a corny pick up line on its way…

“Are you an angel? Because I must have died and gone to heaven.”

“Potter, that pick up line is so bad I must’ve died and gone to hell.” I make an effort to get up but he pulls me back down on the arm of the sofa. He adjusts himself to where I just sat and says, “Okay, so maybe my attempt at small talk failed…”

“Small talk? You call that ‘small talk’?” I use are quotes.

He sighs, breathing through his nose and moves on. “ANYWAY, you know about the party tonight, right?” I roll my eyes “Yes.”

“Well, do you wanna go with me?” I take a long look at him and say, “No. Sorry, Potter.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Now he’s using air quotes. How dare he.


“Why not?”

“Are you seriously asking me this question?”

“Why can’t you go as my date?!”

“Because… I’m going with someone else…” I say, not looking at him.


I avoid his gaze. Sirius and Peter come down from their dormitory to get some books that they left behind earlier. It just so happens that they left their books on the coffee table in front of the sofa we're sitting on. After Sirius gets his books, he turns and knocks me hard on the back with his arm full of books, following Peter up the stairs. The force sends me flying forward. I land on top of James Potter’s chest, causing him to lie on his back against the cushions.


My hands land on his upper chest, so my face is mere inches away from his. He blinks his hazel eyes, as we are both shocked by our closeness.

Sirius is a bloody bastard.

“Who else could you go with, if not me?”

Oh-ho! What, mister high and mighty doesn’t think I can get a date?!

“No one asked me, I asked someone,” I say, my temperature rising.

“Who did you ask?”

I look him straight in his eyes, and I say it with pride. “Amos Diggory.”


I wince in surprise and roll off of him, and off the couch, landing on my back. That was the loudest thing I’ve ever heard. It freaking petrified me, I swear. I get up off the floor and he stands in front of me, arms flailing everywhere.

“MY ENEMY? You asked my enemy? Amos Diggory… You asked him?! Him of all people!”

“Why, what’s wrong with him?” I yell back, getting defensive.

“He’s the biggest player at Hogwarts!”

"Yeah, next to you! Look who's talking!"

“Not to mention the fact that he’s jealous of my Quidditch skills!”

He starts to pace across the carpet. I feel like a teenager being yelled at by her father.

“What did he say when you asked him?” he asks, still pacing. My jaw drops. “He said yes, obviously, you wanker! I’m not that horrible you know.” He stands still for a moment and I slap him hard on the chest.


“I asked him; he said yes, I’m taking him, end of story.” I turn to leave. I speed walk, heading for the stairs. I’m six feet away.


I stop dead in my tracks and turn to face him. “Excuse me?”

“I, uh… forbid you! Yeah, I forbid you to go with him!” He nods, as if assuring himself.

I slap him again, this time on the cheek. “Ow!”

“James Harold Potter, you will not tell me who I can and cannot date!”

“Whoa, you’re dating him now?”

“Well, no… but maybe after tonight…”

“He’s a total jerk, Evans! And you know what? He’s not entering this common room.” Potter crosses him arms and looks me straight in the eyes.

He is impossible.

“Oh, and what will you do if he does?” I raise my eyebrows.

“I’ll kill him; kill him with my bare hands! Ever since last year, when he sabotaged Gryffindor’s chances of entering finals for the House Cup, my hatred for him raised five intervals.”

“You are not ruining my chances with Amos Diggory because he’s your Quidditch rival!”

“Did you not hear me, Evans? He’s an arrogant prick, and you’re not taking him.”

He seems so sure of himself.


“The hell I’m not!”

“You watch, one step into this common room tonight, and I promise you, it’ll be his last.”

“Try anything on him, and I’ll hurt you… I know where you live!”

Um, no shit. We’re next door neighbors. I lack sense in my life, I really do. But Potter doesn’t hear the second part of my comment, which I’m thankful for, as he thinks to himself.

He shrugs, weighing his options. “Maybe not me, but I have friends…” He smiles, his eyes twinkling with, what’s it called? Oh yeah, Joy.

My eye twitches. “What kind of friends?” I ask, a little bit frightened.



“I can’t believe him!” I start pacing back and forth across the dormitory. “Wait, so he just flat out told you that you couldn’t take him?” Jessica takes another handful of popcorn and shoves it in her mouth. She’s sitting, pretzel style, on my bed. “Yes! Honestly, of all the things he could be an asshole about, he had to be an asshole about this!” I tell her everything about what had happened with me and Potter, well… except the hole on top of him on a couch part.

"No! He can’t ruin this date for you. I put so much work into it!"

I look at her with my ‘wtf’ face. “Oh yeah, stomping on someone’s toe and tipping them over takes a lot of energy.”

She pouts, and throws a big piece of popcorn at me, hitting me directly in the face.

“Hah! Score one for Jessica Finelly!” she yells, punching the air.

“Maturity, please.”

“Okay.” She puts on her glasses from her night table and sits back on my bed. She furrows her eyebrows and squishes her lips out, trying to make a serious face. Keyword: TRYING.

I giggle at her and call her a dork. She throws more popcorn at me. “Lily, you have to find a way out of this. What are you supposed to do? Break up the date of your dreams because James’s friends are gonna torture him?”

"I don’t know, Jess. I can’t just tell him the plans are off. He’ll think I just stood him up. Do you know how embarrassing that would be?"

“I say we black mail him.”

“With what?”

“Lily, listen to what you just said. With what, you ask? UM, HELLO THERE MISS I-USED-TO-BE-POTTER’S-BEST-FRIEND. You know all his childhood moments. I mean can’t you just use one of those?”

“But it won’t make a difference. I know him. Even if I did do that, what will I have to do if this situation happens again? Find another embarrassing childhood moment just to get him from doing anything? I’m going to have to do that all the time and I don’t wanna deal with that. Besides, he'd find a way to turn it around and make him look good.” I sit at the foot of my bed.

“Well then, I guess you’re gonna have to find another way…”

We hear a sound close to an explosion from the other room opposite the wall. Uh-oh. The room next to us is the Sixth Year boys’ dormitory. Jessica and I rush down stairs and the marauders tumble down from their own stairs. Potter is trying to pole-vault off the couch into one of the end tables. He succeeds, breaking the table in half.

Everyone is looking at him, stricken. Well, every one of us, of course. It’s only Jessica, Peter, Sirius, Potter, Remus, and I in the common room at this time. My eyes bulge out of their sockets. “James Potter, YOU BROKE A PIECE OF FURNITURE!” I yell at him. He’s a prefect, for crying out loud! He can’t do things like this!

Remus quickly takes out his wand and mends the table back together. Potter's running circles all over the place. While he's sprinting around us, he roars, "Hi, Lily! I was just telling the guys about our back up plan!"

“Back up plan of what? What plan have you created that you need to have a back up plan for!?” He scares me too much.

“Just incase Diggory comes in here while I’m gone! Woo-Hoo!” He jumps over one of the coffee tables like he’s playing leap frog. And he drops like a log over the other side. He just fell asleep. He seriously just came crashing down on the carpet.


I ignore this and turn to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. 

“What does he mean, while he’s gone?”

“All the prefects have their first meeting of the year tonight,” Peter tells me.

“Oh my goodness, I completely forgot!” Jessica yells, hitting her forehead. She runs quickly up the steps and I hear a slam. “It starts in 20 minutes,” Peter finishes.

“But it’s around two, isn’t it? Why would they have a meeting so early?”

“It’s going to be six hours long,” Remus responds.

“Holy shit, are you serious?” I ask. That’s completely bogus! Who in their ruddy minds would schedule a meeting-?

“Professor McGonagall scheduled it,” Sirius says, reading the look off my face.


“She thought that since a lot of things were out of order last year that this year was going to be different. She’s gotten really strict about meetings this year, I heard,” says Peter.

“Remus, I thought you were a prefect as well?” I ask, confused.

“I… uh, resigned last year. Family problems… I couldn’t make it in on time at certain events,” he responds, looking off into the window. I can tell he’s uncomfortable about this topic, so I don’t push into it.

“So it’s just Potter who’s prefect?”

All three of them nod their heads; all of them in that straight line that only the marauders can do perfectly. This is bad. Remus usually keeps a good eye on Potter. And now, James Potter's the only marauder to be a prefect. NOT GOOD.

“Bloody hell, he’s going to burn the school down.” I run a hand through my hair. Sirius chuckles. “Don’t worry, while he’s doing that, we’re going to keep a look out for you.”

“I don’t need a look out,” I say, narrowing my eyes.

“He’s informed us of the Diggory situation.” He crosses his arms, with an amused look on his face.

Oh, so this was Potter’s plan. Go to the meeting, come back, and all the while that’s happening he’s going to have his boys scout the place out. Fabulous. I have to find a way around this. I mean, the last thing I want is Sirius as a chaperone. My chances with Amos will go up in flames. He’d probably try to strip in front of Amos and try to make a move on him, to make him think he’s gay, so he’d leave. Don’t look at me like that.

Yes, it’s happened before.

But let’s not talk about the wonderful moments I made in Fifth Year right now.

Potter wakes up, and starts running around like some ferocious beast. Kind of like Sirius when he ran around with my bra on. But at least (I can’t believe I’m saying this) Sirius ran around in a more tasteful manner than James Potter’s doing right now. His arms are hanging like a gorilla’s and he’s making monkey sounds. His MPH is reaching a dangerous level.

“Whoa, okay, we’re going to talk about this later… But now…” My eyes follow him as he’s running on all fours trying to catch a tail that he doesn’t have. Jessica’s dog does that when he’s bored. I feel my head getting dizzy and I stop myself following Potter’s actions. “What did you guys do to him!?” I ask them, in my scary voice. I like my scary voice. It scares people. Hence, the scary voice.

He can’t be like that for the rest of tonight… I mean his life, sure. I don’t care. But he’s going to wreck everything. He’s going to bring havoc to all students that will come in contact with him at the party. They’re taken aback by my booming voice and glance at Potter with their own eyes out of their sockets, as mine were, minutes ago.

Potter’s doing back flips. “Please explain to me why HE”, I point to Potter, “is doing THAT!”

“We were, um… playing exploding snap?” Peter tells me.

My patience is wearing thin. “Put a sock in it, Peter-”

“Okay!” he says rather quickly, and puts his hands up in defense. It’s as if he gave up just as the words escaped his mouth.

Sirius rolls his eyes. Remus says, “Well, this morning, we were kind of… um…”

“YEAH?” Move it along, people! Come on, get to the point!

He closes his eyes, and blurts it out. “We raided Slughorn’s potion cabinet!” Peter and Sirius look at him impossibly, like he just tattle-tailed on them. I yell at him for a good thirty seconds. He opens one of his eyes. “Um… are you done?”

I’m seething. But I nod along anyway.

And then it dawns on me.

“Is that where you were this morning?”

“Yes!” they all say in unison, throwing their hands up, as if I’m the most thick-headed person in the world. “Now that we’ve established that, let’s get to the point”, says Sirius.

“Humph.” I furrow my eyebrows together and cross my arms defensively.

Jessica comes down, in full Hogwarts uniform. Her hair is damp and she pins it up in a clip. “I hope I’m not late, I had to take a quick shower…” She looks up at the current situation at hand. Everyone, except Potter, open their mouths to speak, but Jessica puts her hands up. We all shut our mouths. She closes her eyes and says, “I don’t want to know right now. I’m too stressed.” She walks passed us, and all of us look at her, a little bit thunderstruck. There’s complete silence until she leaves.

Sirius then tells me everything. They were experimenting with a couple of Slughorn’s potions to try and make a quick sobering liquid for hangovers. Porbably for tonights party. Oh, how responsible.


“…and then Moony mixed in a wrong ingredient and now Prongs is falling asleep at random moments. It’s like he has a serious case of ADHD, and then falls into a doze.”

I look at Remus as if he has three heads. “You are a flaming idiot!”

“I know! I just- I don’t know what went wrong, and I don’t know how to fix it. You’re the genius in potions… Help us figure something out!”

“What am I supposed to do? Brew him a potion that’ll cure his little problem?”

"Well, that is the general idea!"

“HE’S NARCALEPTIC! He runs around like Redbull is in his veins for a couple of minutes, falls asleep, and wakes up a minute later! And even if I could come up with a potion, how am I supposed to give it to him? In mid back flip!?”

Remus looks over my shoulder. “More like cartwheels than back flips…” He runs a hand through his hair and scratches the back of his head.

I turn around. James Potter is doing cartwheels around the armchair, and he almost just cartwheeled into the fire place. He falls asleep. “Okay, fine,” I say, turning back to them. “I’ll help. But on one condition.” I cross my arms, and a smirk creeps its way on my face.

“What?” Remus asks, alarmed. “Uh-oh,” Peter and Sirius say together, looking at each other like schoolboys who have done something wrong and are about to be punished.

Oh, wait, they are.


“I get to take Amos Diggory to the party to be my guest, since it is my FREE RIGHT to invite anyone I want.” Sirius has a look written on his face that reads ‘oh, damn.’ He was probably excited to keep me, AHEM, company. They look at each other, knowing they have no choice. Peter, Sirius, and Remus turn to me.

“Deal,” they say, at the same time.

Oh yay! woo hoo! sorry for the long wait... I have a feeling I'm going to apologize many more times for late chapters.. oh well. Atleast my story will be moving along! =D
Review, my lovely dumplings. You make me happy!

This chapter's picture is... JESSICA! The picture is of Rachel Bilson ^_^

She seems perfect. Except it was kind of hard for me in the beginning to imagine her doing things like Jessica would, but then I thoought: Well, duh, that's because I still see her as her character off The OC! Just think of her as a regular person, guys. It helps lol.

Chapter 8: Party In The Gryffindor Common Room!
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Author's Note- Hey guys! Well, let me say that this chapter is full of it's usual giggles and all, it just gets a little sad at the end. You are seriously gonna hate Amos. But don't worry! lol. Oh, just read it already!

ps-YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. YOUR REVIEWS WERE WONDERFUL. I will never ever leave this story. ^_^ and I wasn't planning to in the beginning anyway, so I hope you didnt get that idea before.

I’m huddled. I’m huddled under a cloak with three Gryffindor boys. One is in the front of me, one is next to me, and one is behind me. I feel a hand grab my ass.

“Nice arse, Evans.”

Guess which one’s behind me.

I slap Sirius. “Ouch! Jeez, Evans. You can really slap.”

“Ask your friend, he seems to get a lot of them. Oh, wait. You can’t, BECAUSE HE’S KNOCKED OUT!” I yell at him, spazzing a little. All three marauders cover their ears with their hands. Back in the common room we decided to go back to Slughorn’s potions cabinet to find some sort of reversal spell ingredient or some what. So here we are, under an invisibility cloak to try to find a cure for James Potter’s Narcolepsy (plan JPN for short). I didn’t want to admit it to them, but when they showed me Potter’s invisibility cloak, I was impressed. I was completely fascinated! I had read about them in books, but I never saw one up front. So, of course, I freaked out when I first laid eyes on it. They made me swear not to tell anyone. I still can’t believe I’m under this cloak right now. The only flaw is that I’m sharing it with three Billy goats. What a shame. My first experience with something magically rare and I can’t even enjoy it because it’s not for fun…Unless you count knicking stuff from Professor Slughorn to help out four distressed teenagers the definition of fun, and one of those teenagers being unconscious.

I really don’t wanna do this. Not just because I despise the boy who hasn’t stopped asking me out since first year, but because there’s the chance of us getting caught. That chance has been growing bigger and bigger since we left the common room. If I’ve just imagined this in my mind or not, I don’t really know. I can’t say it’s the first time. I imagine a lot, like that little man/woman/he/she/it inside my mind that likes to take control from time to time. An example of my mind being like no one else’s is how I say the word “ass”. I don’t know why, but I always use it that way. Everyone else spells it “arse”, but I don’t. We pronounce it the same; it’s just that I spell it differently. I don’t know why I do this. It’s my mind I tell you! I just have a thing with that word. Can people have things with words?

Another example of how my mind is unusual is how I managed to knock James Potter out before setting up this whole scheme of how we were gonna do this. Remus, Peter, Sirius, and I had to figure out what we were going to do and how long it would take. As soon as James Potter woke up, I punched him straight in the face. Needless to say, he was knocked out cold. The boys were quite shocked for a while that I actually had it in me. I simply explained to them that I always wanted to do that, and that I finally got a reason to do it now. Peter actually tried suggesting less violent approaches. But hey, it got the job done, didn’t it? There is now an unconscious Potter in an empty closet under the girls’ dormitory stairs. We have ten minutes before Potter’s prefect meeting starts, and I’m sure that most of the prefects are already there, waiting for the meeting to begin. I know Jessica’s already there. Oh, the lengths I go to help people out; But, I kind of have to. We made a deal. It’s not like I can’t keep my end of the bargain. They promised to leave my date, Amos Diggory, and I alone during the party tonight if I helped them find a cure for Potter’s weirdness. If I don’t find a cure for said weirdness, then I won’t have a normal night at said party.

And we don’t want that to happen.

We turn the corner and Peter leads the way. We see Slughorn talking to Professor Botts outside his potions cabinet. “Perfect!” Peter says. “His door’s wide open; we can sneak in and get what we need, quickly, and get out of there.”

“Are you mad?” I ask him. “Not while he’s right there! What if he feels our presence, or worse, we knock into him or trip over something or break a glass vile in his cabinet-“

“Lily, I think I speak for everyone when I say: Please, shut your trap,” Remus says imploringly. I narrow my eyes at the boy next to me.

"You’re so paranoid…" Sirius mumbles from behind my shoulder.

Slughorn’s in deep conversation and Professor Botts and is listening intently. We make our move, gliding across the glossy floors of Hogwarts at a very slow pace. Slughorn rests his hands on the cabinet door’s frame as soon as we reach a reasonable distance. “Great. Now what?” I question.

“We’re just going to have to hunch a little bit and limbo our way through,” Peter says confidently. “His arm is the size of Professor McGonagall. We all can’t go at once. There’s not enough space and we won’t fit,” I start to say. “What do you suggest? Entering the cabinet one by one?” Sirius replies. I roll my eyes.

“We’re just going to have to get together really tight.” As soon as these words leave Remus’s mouth the boys stop and turn straight to me. “Fine,” I say. “But keep your hands to yourselves!”


After finding the perfect antidote for Potter, we headed back to the common room 5 minutes later. I figured out that all he needed was a mix of a liquid called Perivianne with some spice. His reaction to the ingredient wasn’t so pleasant. He was just supposed to wake up, cured and everything. It’s not that I didn’t give him the right ingredient… it’s just that I don’t think he was expecting such a disgusting taste in his mouth. He woke up abruptly and punched Remus in the gut by accident. Remus glared at him for a while before Potter had gotten a hold of the situation. He thought someone was trying to poison him because he tasted nasty liquid going down his throat, and his punch for Remus was anything but what he thought was self defense. I tried really hard not to roll my eyes.

Potter apologized profusely and thanked all his buds for saving his ass. When Remus told him it was his fault by accident, he kind of took the apology back. After Potter found out about me knowing about the invisibility cloak, he almost lost it. Then Remus said sorry and Potter answered with a look that said ‘it’s all good, man’. Then they did this hand-shake thing. It was all very confusing. It’s weird how guys can have such a change of heart so quickly. Well, Potter made it right on time for the prefect’s meeting as the marauders were counting down the minutes it would take for him to arrive. But, before he left, he was informed of what was going on with me and the deal we had made. He flipped and looked at me with a face that showed he knew I won. I felt like Angelina in Mr. & Mrs. Smith when she totally whips Brad and he looks at her as if to say ‘oh, no you didn’t!’, and then they continue the fighting scene. Even though I’m not a fan of Brad and Angelina, I must say that it’s one of my favorite movies. That scene popped into my head while Potter was looking at me so. Then I saw the change in his eyes. He knew exactly what I was thinking. This time I won the battle. He even mumbled, “Angelina”, as he was walking through the portrait hole.

I love moments like those. 

I’m heading towards the Great Hall right now for dinner. It's 6 o'clock and people are running like beasts down the hallway. Sirius brushes past me and asks, “Do you think the prefect’s meeting is going to take a break for dinner?” I tilt my head and respond. “I don’t know, actually-”

“Wow! One thing Evans doesn’t know-!”

“BUT, if they don’t come down for dinner,” I say, glaring at Sirius, “Then they’re obviously going to eat there.” Remus catches up to him from around the corner and Sirius turns to him. “Sweet! More space! No more squeezed arse cheeks!” Remus grimaces and holds his hand up, signaling Sirius to stop before something else butt related comes out of his mouth. “That’s only if they’re not coming down for dinner,” I say. “Yeah, Yeah…Whatever,” says Sirius, dismissing me by brushing his hand away, as if I was some bothering pest. I raise my eyebrow. “Where did you learn that? Did Potter lend you his Clueless DVD? I see Cher and Dionne have taught you a few things,” I respond to Sirius with a grin. Seeing his face in utter confusion to what I just said gives me such satisfaction. I walk past Remus and Sirius through the Great Hall right before they meet up with Peter. “What’s Clueless? Isn’t that some kind of muggle board game or some what?” I hear Sirius ask in the distance.

But as I walk towards Gryffindor table, I notice that Sirius might just be right about the ‘no more squeezed butt cheeks’ thing. There are a lot of students missing from all of the House tables. I sit down and I gasp as I feel two warms hands cover my eyes.

“Guess who?” asks the teasing voice.

“Better not be a marauder, that’s for sure.”

Amos lifts his hands and tilts his head towards me with a grin. “Oh, hey!” I say, surprised. He sits down quickly next to me as I turn beet red in the face. I can’t believe I have a date with him. I still get queasy just thinking about it. “Excited about tonight?” he asks, as he winks to a passing group of Seventh Year girls giggling down towards the Ravenclaw table. Some of the Sixth and Seventh Years are looking at us, wondering what’s going on. I ignore this and manage to squeak out, “Yeah.” They’re probably thinking ‘why’s Diggory talking to that girl?’

“Well, I gotta go. See you later, then?” He pulls his leg over the other side of the seat and gets up.


“Of course, sure,” I respond, a little too quickly. I hope he didn’t notice.


He gives me a wink and walks back towards his table.

“Oh-ho! Was that your Prince Charming?” Sirius crashes right next to me with Peter to his left and Remus on my right side. Why do they have to burst my bubble and ruin my dinner? Can’t they just leave me alone? There’s definitely enough space for them to sit elsewhere.

“Shut up, Black,” I say, using his family name.  Oh, how I love to do that.

"Your right, Evans, your not Cinderella. You’d probably hit some poor guy with your glass slipper. And Diggory is more of a Peter Pan kind of guy."

I stop and look at him quizzically. “Peter Pan?”

“Man in tights,” he laughs, giving me that marauder grin. He high fives Peter and leans over me to do the same with Remus. I purse my lips and look straight ahead. I slightly narrow my eyes. Let’s pretend I didn’t just witness such stupidity.


Dinner was kind of interesting.


Remind me to never ever let Remus and Sirius battle with spoons full of mashed potatoes. It’s very hard to get out of your hair. I had to shampoo for 10 full minutes.

“Lily, stay still!” Emma Tebbon demands as she plucks another eyebrow hair. Emma’s in my group of close friends. We became friends in Third Year. She was there earlier today with the rest of the girls when I ran into Amos.

“Ow!” I yelp.

The girls in the Sixth Year’s dormitory are running around, fixing themselves, and doing last minute touch ups for tonight. It is 7:20 and everyone’s getting ready to meet their dates. It’s funny to me, because the flyer that the marauders put up said nothing about what time it starts. I asked one of the other Gryffindor girls how everyone finds the right time schedule and knows exactly when the party starts, and she looked at me as if I was mad. Apparently “everyone” knows that parties thrown by the marauders start as soon as the evening rolls by. WELL, EXCUSE ME.

What am I, a frog? Okay, so I guess I’m lacking the ‘party hard’ experience to know otherwise… but it’s not because I can’t. It’s because I won’t. I’ve never been to too many parties. And I don’t really like all the loud noise. Well, I actually have been to parties thrown by the marauders, but that’s because once and a while I would walk down to the common room when I’d be having trouble sleeping. Then I would get showered with fire whiskey and party streamers. Then I’d realize the reason I’d been having trouble sleeping is because the music is too loud. Then I run up to my bed, get under my covers, and try desperately to fall asleep. I basically walk into them by accident. Other times at their parties I just sit on the couch and read a book, ignoring everyone. It usually works, since everybody is oblivious to me sitting there. I don’t really bother anyone.

Then there are Christmas parties and other holiday celebrations. That’s with the family. They’re usually boring and consist of Uncle Earl, my mom’s brother, and my Aunt Betsy (the one who married the Italian man), my dad’s sister, arguing about which sports teams dominate. Aunt Betsy: Arsenal. Uncle Earl: Real Madrid. Don’t get Aunt Betsey started. You don’t really wanna mess with her. She’ll chew you up and spit you out. And then feed you to the dogs. Football is her thing.

“Lily, do you want Amos to see you with one eyebrow plucked more than the other?” Emma asks, losing her patience. She is holding my head in a very uncomfortable position, for crying out loud! What did she expect? I’m not going to stay still while my neck is being snapped back and forth.


“Just one… more… hair…”


“Done,” she says with a smile. She lifts the tweezers away from my face and puts her other hand on her waist, shifting her weight. “Now you’re ready.” I glare at her before I say, “Why, I wasn’t ready before? The one hour you spent torturing me to get me ready for this party wasn’t enough?”

“Lily, I’m sorry that I had to tweeze your eyebrows. I know that you usually get them waxed, but, hello! We didn’t have enough time to wax. It was just a last minute thing.”

“A very painful, last minute thing,” I correct.

She sighs. “Well, your eyebrows didn’t compliment your hair that I had spent oh-so-much time straightening… And for some reason I didn’t like the way your right eyebrow was-”

“Um, Excuse me. My right eyebrow did nothing to you. It doesn’t even know who you are!” I put a hand over my eyebrows. Waxing doesn’t hurt me as much as tweezing. She’s looking at me, her lips forming into a very quirky smirk. “You are a special one, Evans. Oh, and I’m finished! Take a look in the mirror. You can thank me later…” she tells me, in a very excited tone, before walking away and putting some finishing touches on herself as well. I glance in the mirror and almost scream. “WOW!” I turn around and I see her arms spread out. I can’t help but chuckle as I come over and hug her. She new I would do that. “You like?”

“I love!” I tell her. “Thanks so much! Except this shirt is kind of…”

“No, it’s not. It looks good on you. Don’t worry about it. Have fun! I’ll see you later during the party, I guess.” She smiles and I make my way down the dormitory stairs. I guess it would be too much to ask that I hope no one’s down in the common room, even though I know it’s too good to be true. I don’t really like all eyes on me. I get nervous. I take my last step and look up.

About half of Gryffindor’s male members are looking straight at me.

I knew the shirt was a bit much. Emma dressed me in her clothes. She the most outgoing out of the group I hang out with, next to Jessica. The outfit she picked out for me consisted of a halter top that was flow-y all the way down to my waist, then became tight and hugged everything below all the way down to my butt. It looks like one of those tops that you’d see Donatella Versace wear or something. I was impressed. Then I threw on a pair of dark, skinny jeans of Emma’s. She recommended them with any halter top. ‘They make your butt look amazing!’ she said to me. I had never worn skinny jeans before. I didn’t really think I’d look all that flattering. But, Emma found a way to get me to wear them. And then she put me in these cute heels. It’s just the right size for skinny jeans. My toes show a little bit out of the bottom. The heel is less than an inch or so. The only flaw is that this halter top she told me to wear is a bit… Um, revealing. It really shows my 34B chest is a good way. Or so she says.

Emma likes to dress up and go party just like anyone else, but she does it in a responsible way. Kind of like an old soul, mixed with that immature attitude that’s inside every teenage girl. It’s hard to explain, but she’s just an all around good girl that knows what to do at the right moments, at the right time. Personally, I can already picture her marrying some successful lawyer or doctor and having a big family. She’d be a great mom. She’s also kind of like the mother in the group, like me.

She also did my hair and make-up, which is no surprise, since that’s her forte. My hair is pin-straight and I never really realized until now how long my hair is. It’s definitely way passed my elbows. And here I was thinking my hair was only down to my mid-back. Darn me and my wavy hair. But, Emma made my hair look cute and simple. And she didn’t over do it on the make-up either. She lined my eyes with a good amount of black liner, and made my eyes look smokey glamorous with that brownish gold eye shadow she put on me. It was very fitting, I must say. It matches the colors in the halter top. And last but not least, she sprayed me with Chanel No. 5.

I ignore the stares that are coming from every guy in the room. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? Maybe she put too much perfume on me and now it’s melting. Oh, God. I can’t do this.

I look straight at the ground and walk towards the door. I hope the Fat Lady doesn’t stare at me in shock like everyone else right now. I don’t think they’ve ever seen me this glam. Well, maybe at Balls or other dances, but not for a party. I hear one guy whistling and another couple of guys cat calling me. Then someone shouts, “Lookin’ fine, Evans!”, and chuckles erupt from the room. Are the guys…flirting with me?

I keep looking at my feet, a smile plastered over my face. I’m pretty sure I’m blushing. This is the second time today that that’s happened. I have GOT to learn to control my nerdy-ness with blushes. It’s very flattering though, I must say, to have Gryffindor boys tell you you’re ‘lookin’ fine’. That’s one of the reasons why I love Gryffindor. Most of the guys are really nice and just all around great guys. There are rarely any cruel or mean guys in this House. Some can be pestering little goats who like to ask me out every five seconds and don’t know what it’s like to see the end of a hair brush, but it’s all good. I try to ignore the pestering little goats.

I hurry up and walk towards the Great Hall at a very rapid pace. It’s not that easy in skinny jeans and heels, let me tell you. But I finally do manage to reach the Great Hall a minute before 7:30. And I find Amos waiting for me there, along with a whole bunch of other people. Guess I’m not the only one meeting their date at the doors of the Great Hall. I hope the teachers aren’t going to notice. I mean it’s normal to see groups of students walking around before curfew. But big groups like these? They might get suspicious. Especially since the clothes everyone is wearing isn’t exactly a Hogwarts uniform. The closer I walk towards Amos, the more insecure I get about how I look. I begin to think that maybe I can’t pull this look off like Emma. But then an image of Emma slapping me upside the head forms in my brain and I regain a bit of assurance.

“Holy crap. Damn, Lily. You’re looking good,” Amos says, greeting me with a hug. “That’s what they say…” I respond with a nervous smile. I try to make eye contact, but he’s too busy staring at the cleavage.


He looks at me up and down and I’m mentally begging him to stop. I do NOT react well under pressure. And this is too much pressure. It reminds me of the sleepover when James and his boys did the same thing-

GAH! Why did he just pop into my mind? Potter, Potter, go away. Come again some other day! This is my night.

But for some reason that scene keeps playing and replaying in my mind as Amos’s eyes linger on me. Damn. Maybe changing the words in the ‘rain, rain, go away’ song wasn’t such a smart idea. It always works when it rains. Actually, no. It works when Jessica does it. Oh, what a perfect life I have.


The music is blaring and I’ve never been so drunk in my entire life.

My head keeps spinning at a slow pace while I dance with Amos. It’s been an hour and I’m already smashed. I didn’t think I would be drinking tonight. Hell, I didn’t think I’d be going at all. But, here I am, with the Hufflepuff God of Hogwarts. I don’t think I act different when I drink. I mean I know that some people act like their alter ego when they get drunk, But me? Nope. I act the same on the outside, just a bit of a migraine on the inside, and a little bit of slurring in my words. I’m sure no one else can tell I’m drunk. Well, except for Amos, maybe. Actually, every drink I’ve had tonight, I drank with him. We both have the same about of alcohol running through our veins, so I guess he’s smashed too. Funny, though. He doesn’t look like it.

I look across the room to see James Potter glaring daggers at us. He’s wearing a white beater with some expensive looking jeans. Probably Armani Exchange, since that’s, like, the only designer he talks about. What a shame for him. He can’t even enjoy his own party because he’s too busy trying kill us with his eyes. Well, I’m not going to stress over it. I take a hold of Amos’s hand and put it on the small of my back as a slower paced song comes on. Beyonce’s song “Woman Like Me” plays on the stereo. I look over in Potter’s direction again but he’s not there. I look up at Amos and he’s smiling at me. I feel my head spinning as the music gets louder. “The music is so loud,” I whisper to him. “Won’t the professors find out?” He chuckles and says, “Don’t worry. Everyone knows that people that through parties put spells on the common room so no one on the outside can hear anything.” I respond with a mumbling sound and put my head on his shoulder. “You’re drunk aren’t you?” he says, completely amused. I mumble again. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

I don’t even know why I drank. But I’m definitely regretting it. My head is pounding like crazy. The last thing I remember before drinking was seeing Potter and Jessica walk in through the common room from the prefects’ meeting. It had been a half hour into the party. By that time I only had one or two drinks. Jessica winked at me and I gave her thumbs up when she saw me. She mouthed ‘wow’, referring to my outfit and I just rolled my eyes with a smile and took another sip from my cup. Then I saw Potter. He stopped immediately and stared at me. I could feel the jealousy and anger in his eyes; I just chose to ignore it. And before he arrived, the marauders kind of watched me and Amos most of the time. Actually, I just think it was just Sirius, but I don’t remember. But they did stick to their side of the bargain and they didn’t bother us at all. But I did have the urge to take off one of my heels and chuck it at Sirius, but that would have just freaked Amos out. I already punched Potter. I don’t wanna be known for the freak who’s a weakling when it comes to strength, but a Mr. T impersonator when it comes to hitting the marauders.

I look over Amos’s shoulder and try to look for Jessica, but I can’t find her as we get lost in the crowd. I think we’re drifting to the corner, but I can’t really tell. The next thing I know we’re by ourselves under the Girls’ staircase where the closet is. The same closet that Sirius, Peter, Remus, and I put Potter’s unconscious body just several hours ago. Amos leans in I think he’s going to kiss me. It seems so surreal to me that this is happening. I feel like everything’s in slow motion, and I can’t tell if it’s the liquor or if it’s my head that’s spinning. Before I know it, we’re snogging under the stairs, away from everyone. It’s probably been 5 minutes but it feels like an hour. I can’t even tell what’s going on. Just snogging. It’s like my brain can’t function. I am not a fan of this feeling. I feel a hand go towards my butt and I feel a squeeze. Now I know that I’m not under the invisibility cloak, so it’s not Sirius. And this is a hard squeeze. I mean if my bottom was made of oranges, he’d be making orange juice. Sirius would never do that. He was just playing around. But that hand I felt wasn’t that kind of playing around.

It was a different kind.

Before I know it Amos is kissing me really forcefully. I blink open in surprise. Is this supposed to happen? Is this how popular guys make out with popular girls? The in-crowd people are in every school, and there are some in this school too. Girls always rant about guys, like Amos, that have done things like this at parties. They would come back late to bed and the girls would squeal and the girl would tell them all about it. Believe it or not I felt left out of those conversations, and I thought to myself: Will that ever happen to me? What’s it like to snog a popular guy? But the amount of time it takes for me to think about my answer, Amos puts his hand under my shirt and his other hand holding my head against his. This is too much. I now realize, right now, that I don’t want to be a popular girl. I don’t want to be in the in-crowd. And the only reason that girls probably say it’s the best thing ever, is because they think it’s cool. They think that if it’s a popular guy that’s treating you this way then it’s okay. They live in an image, and that’s one image I don’t want to be a part of.

For some reason I feel like my sense is coming back to me now and I have control over my body again. But I still feel completely drunk. I push Amos away. He gives me a look. I don’t like it. It’s the kind of look that Petunia used to give me all the time. It was a look for people that thought they were better than anyone else. And for the first time ever, I truly see Amos. All the looks he gives girls. He can never look one girl in the eye while another girl passes by. And I was so stupid to not see it. It’s funny, how all of a sudden his face resembles Petunia. And that face says everything. It shows me everything I was too blind to see. He pushes me against the wall, and then walks two steps towards me. I glare at him. He’s smirking.

He’s the popular guy because he knows what he wants, and knows where his looks can land him. And every other girl fell for it. His trap. His fakeness. I’m not any other girl.


He pins me and I try to stomp on his foot, but my head is still going in circles and the message doesn’t get sent to my brain on time. He’s snogging me and I try to get him off, but I’m too weak. Where are your ‘marauder hitting skills’ when you need them? I feel his hand go up the back of my shirt and it feels like hot coals against my skin. It burns and I’m not enjoying it. I want to get away, but I know I’m stuck. I feel like throwing up. And not because I’m smashed. Because this disgusting tongue is trying to get it’s way down my throat. I feel like crying. And when he doesn’t take his burning hands off my back I actually do. My emotions are going crazy and I start screaming and he pins me harder. He tries to put his hands over my mouth but I get a yell out before he gets to my lips. I hope to God that I made it loud enough to be heard over the blasting music. I guess it was his plan from the beginning. Get me drunk and try something on me. He probably spiked my drink as well.

Then miraculously, in slow motion, or maybe just to me, a pair of hands pull Amos’s hands off of my mouth, and off of me. I scream. Not because I’m scared, but because I can’t take it. I wanted to scream for so long. Even if it was only a couple of minutes, it felt like hours that Amos tried to get his way with me. And all my feelings just explode and I fall back against the wall and slide down to the ground slowly and cover my eyes. And I cry.

I feel small hands push my hands gently away from my face and I look up and see a watery form of my best friend. And in that moment that picture of Petunia’s face I saw in Diggory disappeared from my brain and I never felt happier to see Jess. I whimper a bit, because I’m so overjoyed to see her. She hugs me and cradles me and I rest my head on her shoulder, and we just lay there on the floor. I lift my eyes upward and Potter’s with Sirius, and they’re in front of Amos. Potter’s in rage. I’ve never seen him so angry in his life. It was him, I realize. It was him. He was the one who pulled Diggory off me. And as I shut my eyes and keep crying I hear shouts coming from the three of them. I look up and gasp, to see Diggory’s face covered in blood. He’s on the floor and Potter’s still trying to hit him. But Sirius quickly holds James arm back and tries to control him. He knows that his best friend is about to lose control. Potter just glares at Diggory, and he scrambles from the ground and runs out of the common room. That’s when I take a look around and see that everyone in the party had witnessed it. Everything. They saw Amos and Potter fighting. Sirius clears everybody out and tells people that there’s nothing to see. And that the party’s over. And everyone’s shocked faces head over to leave the common room with unanswered questions written all over them. They know that Diggory and Potter were sworn enemies, but they’ve never been in a fist fight. Maybe a few hexes here and there in the earlier years at Hogwarts, but not like this.

Jessica whispers to me that everything’s going to be okay. All the members of Gryffindor look at me and they all have a look in their eyes. I see questions in those eyes. But I’m not ready to answer. I shake my head, and put my head in the crook of Jessica’s neck. Some of the Sixth Year guys understand that I just don’t wanna deal with it and they try to help Sirius to get people up to their dormitories, and people from different houses out the door. The girls give me apologetic looks and head towards the stairs. Jessica looks me in the eyes and her face looks so torn. “I saw what was happening, and I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to do. So I called James and he came rushing over,” she says. I bite my lip and hug her again. I couldn’t have picked a more wonderful person to be my sister.

Potter’s looking from a distance, and he walks towards me. Jessica helps me stand and without realizing it, I’m in his arms. He hugs me and tells me that I’m safe now. I feel like I’ve been hugging him forever, because when I look up, the room’s been cleared and it’s just the marauders and Jessica, who’s hugging herself as Sirius tries to pat her back. All the marauders are looking at me. Guilt in their eyes. The kind of guilt that comes when you’re sorry for someone else when something bad happens that you never thought would happen. They saw it. They saw what really happened with Diggory. I hug Potter tighter and I just keep crying. I don’t talk, I just cry. Potter turns his head and whispers to them that it’s okay to go up to bed. He tells them I just need time alone.

He doesn’t want to leave me.

I don’t look at him in the face, but I turn to look at Jessica, Remus, Sirius, and Peter. They come over, and hug me before going up the stairs, while I’m still attached to Potter. Now it’s just me and Potter alone. “Thank you,” I mumble. He lifts my chin up and tells me that there is no ‘thank you’ necessary. And then he says, “Hufflepuff definitely got a taste of Gryffindor.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of James.

In that instant I gain some respect back for James. That respect that he lost a long time ago. The respect we had when we were friends. Before all of this.

I feel my knees buckle and he holds me up. Hogwarts was supposed to be a place where I didn’t have to deal with all this shit. That was left for home. Petunia’s face wasn’t even supposed to enter my thoughts. Diggory ruined everything. I never want to see him again.

He carries me over to the couch. He lies me down, because he probably knows I won’t make it up the stairs. I still feel wasted. He lets go but I don’t want him to. I pull him down next to me and we lie down together. It reminds me of the naps we used to take in my back yard when we were younger. When it was hot out, James and I would go under the shade and take naps in the grass together. I look up at him and I see him clearly. I just now noticed that I’m not crying anymore. James stairs at my cheeks. He, too, has noticed that I stopped crying. My cheeks are probably stained with tears and make-up. “It’s okay, I’m here,” he tells me. “Like when we were kids?” I ask him. Not once, in all these years, did I mention our childhood. He’s stunned for a moment and then I quickly see something that looks like guilt in his eyes. “Yeah, like when we were kids,” he responds in a low voice. But I don’t get to hear him.

And so I fall asleep in the arms of someone I never thought I would.

Awe. I thought that part would have fit well =P tell me what you think! Hint: use the box below me. IT HELPS =D I don't know if I wrote this chapter right... but I hope you guys liked it. I worked hard on it. There was no other way, really, for me to write this any better. So I'm kind of hoping that you guys liked it. *bites nails nervously*

The next picture is... Lily's dad!

HAH! KEVIN COSTNER :P man, I've lost it lol.

Chapter 9: Nude Discovery In The Boys' Dormitory
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Author's Note: yeehaa!!!! I'm so happy to present chapter nine to everyone! I'm going to get started on the tenth chappie in a little while. I don't know about you, but i've been really busy with school and everything. i hope you like this chappie!

My eyes flutter open. And as soon as they do, I feel all the muscles in my body ache. My head feels like it’s been running a marathon around Great Britain. I feel someone behind me and I tense up immediately. His hands are wrapped around my waist and we’re lying down on the couch in the common room. But, for the first time ever, I’m not panicking over the fact that James and I fell asleep on the couch. I’m panicking over the fact that we’re in the common room…And if you haven’t noticed, THE COMMON ROOM IS PUBLIC.

I’m in a position where James is lying next to me and I’m almost leaning over the couch. I would just like to say this position is very awkward. Or embarrassing. I haven’t decided yet. I can tell that while we were asleep, we shifted, because his head is on my shoulder and the way he’s leaning on me is pulling my top down low. Dangerously low. The ‘cleavage’ bearing part of the halter top is being pulled down and you can see where my bra is from that point. I make an effort to pull my hand out from around James’s waist (I don’t know HOW it got there), and I blush in the process. Man, this is awkward. And now, as if a slideshow movie has invaded my mind, parts of last night’s party are playing in my head. How James beat a good deal of crap out of Diggory. How Jessica comforted me. How I ruined the party for everyone. I can’t believe I went with that jerk.

Oh, no. I hate to say this, but James was right. Diggory went out with me for reasons that were not so innocent. Personal gain, I think, is what you call it. I know I said that James and Diggory were no different before the party happened, but that was because I didn’t know how Diggory was.

My hand is half way there…
If I could just tug-

Uh, oh. He stirs in his sleep and unconsciously slides his hand farther down below my waist, say, my ass? I inwardly glare at him, but then I stop. He’s not doing this on purpose. He’s not Diggory. What he did for me…

Was just unexplainable. Perhaps that’s why I’m trying so hard not to wake him? I mean, in any other case I wouldn’t be hesitant to throw him off the couch, or into the fire place. But I have no idea now why I’m trying not to wake him. Respect, I guess? I’m sure you’ve noticed the name change. I’m going to be calling him from his first name from now on. Only because I have a little bit of respect back for him. It’s my thing, when I call people by their first names. It’s like my sign of respect. And only in my mind. I am not calling him by his first name in public, or even out in the open. That would be a completely nutty thing to do. Even for me. That’s just pushing it.


All of a sudden, I feel a big pang of pain in my left temple. Oh, my headache. Right. I forgot about that. Damn. My first hang over. Is this pain supposed to be there? Or, all over, to be exact? I have to stop asking myself so many questions.

I finally get my arm free, and I try to pull my halter top up, so my entire mid-chest isn’t showing. Because, heaven knows, that’s all I need right now. I look at James while I’m doing this, so if I sense a motion of discomfort, I can stop, and wait until he’s comfortable again to make another move. I want to try to get up from this couch and make my way upstairs, actually. That way no one in Gryffindor would have to SEE this. As if they didn’t see enough last night. I tilt my head to look at him. He looks like a kid when he sleeps.

GAH! Lily, snap out of it!

Oh, my poor head. No more snapping, please! Lily can’t take it…

I wonder, after this, will things change between us? Hah, listen to me. I must be exaggerating. There is no ‘us’. Well, no, of course not, silly Lily Evans! That kind of ‘us’ isn’t what I really meant. I tell this to my conscience aka man inside my head. I mean, sure, after everything that happened something is bound to change. But that’s what I’m afraid of. It took me quite a while to settle in with the change when we first came to Hogwarts. I don’t want another change. I don’t like things to be different.

Wait; let me edit that last part.

I don’t like things to be different when I’m comfortable. I’m fine the way I am. James is just going to go back to his clan and I’ll go back to my girls, like nothing ever happened. That’s simple enough, right?

I know I can’t pretend this didn’t happen. It did. And I’m trying to find a way to deal with it. For some reason, last night I wanted to be with James. I think because when we were younger, I went to him when I was crying. But the only way I would have ever slept next to James would have been if I had a serious amount of liquor in my system. My complements go out to fire whiskey.

Right now, I’m just tired and I really wanna get out of this mess. Last night was something that just came unexpectedly, and I just have to take it that way, no strings attached. Like the man says, expect the unexpected.

I’m now almost in a sitting position. If I could just, OH- !


This isn’t good for my brain! All this motion. Hearing myself fall from the couch didn’t sound very great. And it didn’t feel great either. My eyes widen, and I beg myself not to, but I can’t do anything else. I turn my head on the spot and throw up all over the carpet.

If I could just find the inconsiderate bastard that recited the quote, ‘expect the unexpected,’ I could dig Emma’s heels down his throat. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.


Now, it’s bad to throw up on your common room’s carpet. But, it’s even worse to fall asleep two seconds later, no matter how exhausted you are.

I, for one, have learned this lesson brutally.

“Hello, there!” Sirius says, waking me up. He has this obnoxious grin on his face. I’m startled to find him so close to me.

“AH! Oh, Sirius, you’re such a creeper!” I manage to spit out, before I rest my head on the carpet again.

“You’re lucky it’s a six o’clock on a Saturday, Evans! Because if it weren’t, Gryffindor’s entire student body would see you sprawled on the floor next to your own throw up.”

This kicks the gears in my brains immediately and I get up, well, try to get up quickly. I completely forgot about my plan to go up the stairs! That was the whole point of getting off the couch. So no one would see this mess. Why did I forget that so quickly? Man, this hangover is pulling my brain in all different directions. It’s altering my memory. IT’S ALTERING MY MEMORY, I SAY!

I sound like Professor Slughorn.

“Sirius, did anyone come down here?!” I say, panicking, not only would they see two very, very different people suspiciously in the same room, but my vomit would be there for the whole world to see!

“Luckily, no. I cleaned up that disgusting mess next to your face five minutes ago.”

Why does that scare me?

"Sirius, when did you get here?"

"Five minutes ago."

Well, then.

“Here, drink this,” he says to me. He hands me a cup full of cold water. I roll my eyes.

“Sirius, you of all people know the myths of hangover cures. Drinking ice water isn’t going to drain the alcohol from my system.” I close my eyes and rest my head on the carpet with the glass next to me. Sirius gets up from the carpet and sits in the armchair opposite me.

“I know that, Evans.” This time he rolls his eyes. He rests his elbows on his knees. “I’m giving it to you to awaken your senses a little bit. You know, to get you to open your eyes; which seems to be a problem for you at the moment.”

“Really? I haven’t noticed.” I drink all the water in one shot. That feels damn good. Ah, cold water.

“Let me help you up to the dormitory, Evans.”


He sighs. “Don’t be difficult.”

“I can do it myself, you mutt!”

He barks a laugh. “Wow. Of all the things you could have called me…”

“What?” I ask defensively.

“Nothing,” Sirius replies, shaking his head. “Let’s get you up there.”

I hear James make a noise. “Keep your voice down, you’re going to wake him!”

“You honestly know nothing about Prongs if you think he can be easily woken,” he chuckles. “The only think that can wake him up is movement, or feeling.”

I turn to look the other way to cover up the red in my cheeks.

“Up you go.” He rises from the armchair.

“No, Sirius.”

“Evans. I have force. I have a sober mind. And I have a handsome face. Those are three things you lack.”

“Hey- !”

“-And I’m going to use them against you.”

“I really don’t need your help,” I whine. “I can do it myself.”

He doesn’t listen to me. He lifts me up quickly, making my head spin, resulting in motion sickness. He puts my arm over his shoulders and he hoists me up. I try to walk over to the stairs but I trip and almost fall. He catches me just in time and says, “Come on, now. Try to walk.”

“Why are you doing this?” I ask bluntly.


“Because, what?” Sirius and I head towards the boys’ stairs. “Whoa, back up. Where are we going?”

“Up the dormitory.”

“Who’s dormitory?” I ask wearily.

“You didn’t expect me to help you up to your four-poster bed, did you?”

“You’re going to hide me in the boys’ Sixth Year dormitory?!”

“Well, no.”

I’m hesitant as I take the first step toward my doom. “I’m not hiding you anywhere. I’m giving you a bed to rest on. I’ll wake you up before the guys wake up. That should give you enough time to sober up a bit. No offense, but Fluffy, the three headed dog, looks better than you do right now.”

I mumble something incoherent and take another step up the stairs.

“I am well aware I look like crap, Mr. Black-”

“Oh, please don’t call me Mr. Black-” He grimaces.

“But thanks for the reassurance-”

“Only McGonagall- Minnie, calls me that. And it reminds me of bad encounters I’ve had with her every time someone calls me that. Scary events involving getting caught come running into my mind. I don’t know about you, but trying to get rid of McGonagall from your mind isn’t that easy.”

There’s silence while we reach the door to the dormitory. I call him Mr. Black again and he scolds me. So…I say it again.

“Mr. Black.”

“You’re going to go flying down the stairs if you don’t stop.”


I stick out my tongue. He rolls his eyes and opens the door. “You still didn’t answer my question,” I point out.


“Why are you doing this?”

“You mean helping you out?”

“Uh-huh.” My voice rises in decibels. I’m getting impatient…

He shushes me as not to wake up the boys and leads me farther into the room. “Don’t shush me,” I say a little too loud. “Shut up, Lily! You’re mentally unstable,” he whispers. “Humph.” I pout my lips out.

How rude.

“I made a promise to some one a long time ago that I’d take care of you when you’d need it,” Sirius says, answering my question.

“Oh.” My mind just went blank.

He takes me to what I'm guessing would be his bed. “Good thing our beds are in the back side of the room. The others won’t hear much.” He uses ‘our’ as a symbol for the marauders, I’m assuming. “I need to sleep in his bed, not yours,” I tell him.

I see a little glint in his eye as he doesn’t ask why. The corner of his mouth rises up just a smidge. He pulls me over to the bed next to him; no doubt it’s James’s. It takes me a minute before I realize what Sirius is thinking. “Don’t get the wrong idea,” I begin. “There’s a logical reason why I chose Potter’s bed.” He frowns as he hears me call James by his surname.

“People have to think that Potter actually went to bed last night. If I take a nap in yours and not his, then the guys will see that Potter didn’t come back up here last night. What will they say if they find his bed made? I don’t really wanna deal with all that. If they see his bed looking like it’s been slept in, they they’ll just drop it, and nothing will get started. That way, no suspicion arises from this. I’m sure there’s already enough gossip traveling around Hogwarts. This just makes it simpler.”

I just noticed that I’m kind of helping out James. I mean, I meant what I said about the logical reasoning thing. It’s true. But I just realized that I’m helping James a little bit too. Well, him and me both really. We’re unfortunately both in this. The gossip is going to start as soon as the sun comes up. The people at the party only saw James having a go at Diggory and me crying in a corner hugging Jess, not the whole story. I’m sure people are gonna assume what they want from what they saw. No need show more into it. I’m just gonna try and make things easier. I could just see the headlines on a tabloid if people found out that James and I fell asleep on the couch together. EXCLUSIVE: THE RED HEAD AND THE GRYFFINDOR CHASER…CAUGHT CUDDLING ON POLYESTER?

Yeah, NO.

I get under the covers. It smells like Old Spice and Axe body spray.

I try to ignore the scent as I turn back to Sirius. “Oh,” he says. He obviously didn’t think of this the way I did.

This Axe spray and Old spice are very… interesting…

“Well, what about your bed? Aren’t the girls going to say something about that?”

After six years you’d think he’d know a thing or two about Jessica Finelly.

“I’m sure Jess is taking care of it.”

“How do you know?”

“Sirius. She’s my partner in crime. Who do you think lead the operation for hanging you upside down from Potter’s roof?” I burn my head in the pillow to cover up the smile on my face. And also because I don’t fancy a look at Sirius’s face right now. Hah. I still can’t believe I did that. Mrs. Jenkins must’ve had a fun time talking about that with the neighborhood senior citizens. She has this little rat pack of middle aged (or fully aged) women. It reminds me of the show Sex and The City. They always come over her house to talk neighborhood gossip once and while.

Oh, Mrs. Jenkins, if only you could see me now.

I bury my head farther into the pillow. You know it’s really hard for me to fall asleep when this bed smells like a combination of… of… Oh, God. NOTHING SMELLS LIKE THIS.

I hear Sirius talking but I don’t catch any of it. I snap out of my trance and cut him off. “Let me sleep, please.” He mumbles about waking me up in an hour or two. “Uh-huh, sure,” I respond. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s really hard to comprehend things when your pillow smells like heaven…

*falls asleep*

_one hour later_

Sirius tries to wake me up. I threaten him with Emma’s heels that are lying on the ground next to me. He backs off for about two seconds and tries to wake me up again. “God damn it, Sirius!” I whisper. “Don’t piss me off when I’m sleepy. Wait till I’m awake. That way you can use your marauder skills to torture me. You’re good at that.”

He pokes me in the cheek, just for the fun of it, I’m sure, and I grumble. He gets on his knees and puts a hand on my shoulder and tries to shake me. I’m about to insult him but he beats me and speaks first. “It’s been an hour or so since you’ve come up here and I think you might wanna leave now. I’ve sure you can make it up the girls’ staircase now that you’ve rested a bit.”

I feel a little guilty for snapping at him. Wait.

Wait a minute…


The guilt has officially passed.

I lift my head from the pillow and prop myself on my elbows. “Why would I want to leave right now? Why not later?” I ask with my eyes half open. I’m still tired even though my head doesn’t hurt as much as it did before. But if they were open, they’d be pleading. Trust me. “Don’t freak out,” he warns me.

Should I be worried? Why would he warn me not to freak out?

As if I’m known for freaking out! Er- well, okay. I might be known for that. But I’m known for other things too. I have hidden talents, people! Little man inside my head knows, and he agrees with me.

“Um, Okay.”

I give him a suspicious look as I say this. He sighs and looks at me straight in the face. “Well, I have to wake you now because if you stay here then you might find a not so pretty sight, for you and for everybody else.” He reads the quizzical look on my face. “If the guys start waking up, they’ll see you. And that can bring havoc. Not to mention the fact that some are already awake-”

I take my hand and yank his collar. I pull him towards me in a fluid motion. See? A hidden talent of mine! “Already awake?” I question in my dangerous voice. Sirius’s eyes bulge. His face has ‘don’t kill me’ written all over it.

I’ve grown to ignore things like this.

“You said you wouldn’t freak out!”

“That was before I knew that some of them woke up. Sirius, what if they saw me?”

“Don’t worry, I was up here the whole time. And when I heard the ruffling of sheets and blankets I tried to get the guys back to sleep. I actually tried to sing to some of the boys. I just tried singing that muggle lullaby. One of them actually sucked his thumb. I’m pretty sure I messed up some line in that lullaby too. Does the cradle fall out of the tree when the spider gets washed down the drain?”

I spoke him hard in the chest. “Now is NOT the time!”

“Okay, fine! Anyway, I tried to get them back to sleep but some of them just woke up. I couldn’t stop them. The guys went straight to the toilets. Good thing we have stalls, because it was pretty ugly. At least I got to use the bathroom while they were throwing up, so they didn’t see me. Not that they’d be able to notice anything anyway. They’re still hung over from last night. And it was like a movie, how they just flushed the toilets at the same time. Good thing I got the hint and flushed too. Hah, synchronized flushes-”

“Sirius, stay focused!” I slap his cheek a little to keep him in line. “Oh, right. Sorry. Well, I didn’t notice until I got out of the stall to wash my hands that some of them were- uh…”

“Yes?” I can tell he’s avoiding saying it out loud.

He tries to explain to me using hand motions. Sirius’s face gets contorted in a weird way, like he ate something bitter. I squint my eyes and follow his motions. I get a rush of remembrance. He’s hand gesturing to me just like my neighbor Mr. Di Angeli did. I inhale and exhale through my nose, my lips pursed. I take Sirius’s hands and put them down. “We’re not getting any younger, here!”

“Um, naked.” He swallows a big lump in his throat. I’m taken aback. I blink in surprise.

“Why in the hell would they be naked?!”

“Some of them tried to take a shower, but they didn’t make it in time. They rushed straight to the toilets. There’s a big pile of clothes in the bathroom. Only one or two are in their pajama pants.”

I gulp. “How many are there?” I sit up from the bed in panic.

“Oh, not many…”

“Sirius Black, if you don’t-”

“Seven!” he answers quickly.


“Yes, seven of them.”

“I’m going to kill you!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault! You think it was easy for me to see some of my best mates nude? I’M SCARRED FOR LIFE.”

“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

He gives me an impossible look. “I tried, you mean little redhead!”

I narrow my eyes.

“Great, now how do I get out of here?”

“Don’t worry, I think it’s okay to just walk out of here. Just wait for me to tell you when it’s safe.”

“How can you be so sure?” I ask skeptically.

“You think Sirius Black doesn’t know his own roommates?” He raises one eyebrow.

“Stop talking in third person.”

“The rest of them are asleep and they won’t wake up until another hour or so. The only reason these seven guys are up is because they’re hurling in the bathroom. And they’re still in there. This happens every morning after a party.”

“What if they come out and see me, though?”

“I thought that too, but I found out the hard way that they’re still too smashed and delusional to make out figures and shapes clearly.”

I hear a flush.

“Oh, boy.”

“It’s okay, Evans. Everything’s going to be fine. Just keep inhaling Prongs’ scent…”

“Alright, well- WHAT?” I gasp. He covers my mouth and snickers. “They might have blurred vision, but they’re not deaf. Keep your voice down,” he tells me.

“Why would I be inhaling his scent?!” I ask.

“Well, how else could you explain your sudden attraction to his linens?”

I hear another flush.

I can feel the heat radiating off my face. I can’t do this all at once. I can’t argue with Sirius right now. What, with all the naked guys in the next room and all. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Really? You seemed very at home under his covers. I could hear you sniffing his duvet.”

“I was not sniffing.”

Make me sound like a drug addict, why don’t you.

“Oh, come on. You were practically snogging his pillow.”

“I was not-!” I begin to yell, but he cups his hand over my mouth yet again. That’s really starting to bug me.

Nothing but dead silence.

I hear footsteps. They’re from the other side of the bathroom door. I hear the footsteps getting louder. Does that mean it’s getting closer? AH!

I hear another flush and then a big bang, followed by the turning on of a shower.

“Don’t move.” Sirius gets up and heads for the toilets.

As if I could move anyway. I don’t go around prancing thought the boys’ dormitory to sneak a glance at naked guys, thank-you-very-much. I’m terrified right now. And Sirius is scaring me. Sirius shields his eyes with one hand, and opens the door with the other. He’s in there for about five minutes and comes back out.

“It’s clear,” he says, relieved. “Most of them are still throwing up, and the others are passed out cold on the floor. You can go.”

“The running water?”

“Oh, it was nothing. It turns out that Jonathan Michaels tripped and landed in a shower. His foot turning on the hot water. And let me tell you, he seems to be in pain. He’s one of them who are naked. Ouch, it hurts me just thinking about it.” He shivers and crossed his legs in a weird way. Like, he thinks I’m gonna hit him in between his legs or something. Hah, I would definitely pretend to hit him if I could just see that funny face again.

But I stop stifling laughter long enough to comprehend was Sirius just said. “Jonathan Michaels?! I have potions with that guy! This is so awkward. I’m a room away from seeing him stark naked, and he doesn’t even know it. Hell, I didn’t even know it! I can never look at him the same way again. How am I supposed to strike up a conversation the next time I se him? ‘Hey, Jon, I almost saw your privates the other day’?”

I think NOT.

“You’ll get over it. At least you didn’t share a room with him for six years and then live to see this. Come on, lets get you outta here.”

I nod and get up, not mumbling a word. I notice immediately that I can walk straight. Sirius seems to have taken notice too.

“Hey, you can walk. You must have sobered up.”

“Yeah,” I scoff. “I think the panic attack scared the alcohol out of my body. But I still feel extremely tired. My head doesn’t hurt as much though.”

“You have red bags under your eyes,” Sirius points out.

“Shut up.”

“Not a good look, really. It matches with your hair-”

“Mr. Black.”

His eyes turn into slits. “Is there ever a time where you don’t contort your face in complete dislike when someone calls you that?”

“Nope. Well, when Minnie says it, it doesn’t actually bother me. I kind of get excited. I don’t really know why. But it’s when other people say it when it really bugs me. It’s like when you and a friend have an inside joke between the two of you and when you hear someone else talk about it, it just sounds wrong.”

“I can’t believe you call Ms. McGonagall that.” I shake my head in playful disappointment. Sirius and I reach the end of the stairs. James is still sleeping. He has all the pillows around him and looks like he’s very comfortable. I wonder if the couch is going to smell like his bed when he leaves it. I should come down here and smell if it-

Why did I just think that?!


I’m stuck in an uncomfortable moment with Sirius as we just stare at James and at each other.

“So,” I say.


“Alright, well thanks for everything, it means a lot to me.” I mean every word. I lightly hug him.

He nods and says, “No problem.”

I turn quickly to get up the stairs but stop short and turn around again. I ask him, “What about the guys in the bathroom?”

“I got it covered.” He smiles. “I tried to lay towels over the poor fellows that didn’t have any clothes. I did it before I came out of the bathroom to tell you it was clear to leave. That’s why it took me several minutes.”

“Oh,” I reply, surprised. “Why did you do that? You didn’t have to, you know.”

He shrugs. “I knew that if it was me, I wouldn’t want everyone seeing me nude. And I just thought about the other guys still sleeping. I wouldn’t want them to wake up to that, and suffer the way I did.” He scrunches his nose in distaste. I chuckle.

That was really compassionate of Sirius to kind of take care of them like that. You know, I never noticed how… nice he is. I mean he can be a pain in the ass (a really BIG pain), but he can also be a genuinely nice person. He helped out those seven guys in the toilets out of respect for them. And no one asked him to do anything. You know, he reminds me of Emma Tebbon. She probably would’ve done the same thing.

I guess today, James isn’t the only person I gain a new respect for.

Sirius and I both wave goodbye and make our way up our own stairs.


I open the door that says Sixth Year Girls. Everyone’s asleep, except Jess. I find her reading her Herbology book, minus the Witch Weekly this time. She’s on her own four poster bed.


Four poster bed that is made. I glance at my bed that’s across from hers and notice that it looks like a bomb exploded. These are the works of Jessica. She slept in my bed last night, just as I predicted. I knew I could count on her.

I walk across the room and Jessica spots me. I walk over and she hugs me. We sit and just talk. I love to talk with friends. Even in the worst of situations. You know what my favorite thing to do with friends is? Just sitting there, on a bed, or laying on pillows on the floor, or sitting at a picnic table, and just talking. Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything, because you just love having that company around you. That’s what it’s like when I’m with my best friend. We talk for a bit, mostly about me and how I’m feeling.

I point at her Herbology book and she says, “That bet is still on with Remus,” she reminds me.

“But why now so early in the morning?” I ask.

“I couldn’t sleep. I heard a big boom.”

Jonathan Michaels. *shivers*

“It woke me up. I got out of your bed and walked to mine and started studying. I might as well do something productive since I can’t fall asleep again. You know how I am.”

Wait until she finds out what that big bang was, or WHO that big bang was.

“Thanks for making my bed look slept it.” I hug her again and crawl back inside my very disoriented bed. Ah, it’s still warm. I feel a little guilty now. She did that so people would wake up to see my bed slept in. Now there was no real point in her doing that because I came back to it this morning.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jessica gives me her signature smile with the adorable dimples. “I knew people where going to start gossiping and all that crap. I think they got enough last night. I didn’t know when you’d be back, so I took care of it.”

“That thought obviously didn’t cross Sirius’s mind…”

“Why, what happened?”

I tell her everything. Last night on the couch with James, Sirius helping me, the naked guys in the dormitory... Wow, there are so many things wrong with that sentence.

Jessica stays quiet as I spill my guts out to her. This is one of the biggest reasons why I love her. She doesn’t ask questions or pesters me to tell her anything. She lets me go to her. I know she wanted to know what happened, she just didn’t ask in demanding ways. All she did was ask what happened in a calm and concerned voice, and that was enough. She gives me my space, you know? Any other girl would hug me and be all over me and try to make me talk. Jess wouldn’t do that because she knows that I’d tell her when I’d be ready. She doesn’t pressure me and that’s something I’ve come to realize is a really hard characteristic to find in some people.

I ask her about her prefects’ meeting last night since we didn’t see or talk to each other that much. We talk for some more and then I go to sleep while Jessica reads. I take a nice snooze for an hour and a half. I’m woken up by the voices of girls talking and getting ready. Even though I’ve known most of these girls for six years, I have never gotten used to them waking me up. I get up, ignoring the stares as I walk to the bathroom and take a shower. It didn’t take me long to get ready, but it took a while to ignore the stares and silence when I tried to put make-up on. Imagine trying to put concealer on to cover the bags under your eyes, and find about ten girls staring at you through the reflection. The concealer wasn’t working and it wasn’t coming out of the stick thing. I threw it on the counter in frustration. Emma Tebbon came up from behind me and silently helped me out. Jessica grabbed my bag and waited by the door for us. Emma, Jessica, and I walked down to breakfast together.

We walk through the Great Hall. It’s around nine in the morning right now and a whole bunch of people have already invaded the big room. It’s so weird to see it filled like this when just yesterday practically half the school was missing. I scan the Gryffindor table. James is sitting at the very end, near the professors. Peter, Sirius, and Remus are there too. They all look tired, except for Sirius, who is shoving biscuits down his throat. I lead my eyes away from James Potter, and focus them on sitting down instead. Emma sits on my left and Jessica on my right.

“You need to say something to him,” Jessica states, speaking softly.

I look down. “I don’t know… I just, don’t know.”

“It’s not going to be the same from now on, I hope you’ve realized that,” Emma tells me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I respond.

“Sooner or later, you’re going to have to say something to that boy,” Jessica says.

“And Sirius,” Emma finishes. Jessica had filled Emma in on what happened with me last night and everything while we were walking down to breakfast.

“I’ve already said something to Sirius,” I start. “Don’t think I’m not grateful. He offered his bed for me to sleep in, just so I could take a snooze without worry. I mean I know I slept in James’s four-poster, but he helped me until I was feeling okay to go up to my own dormitory.”

“Emma and I know that, Lily. It’s just that you’re going to feel different around them both, and it might just be good to talk with them.”

I start to fidget.

“Stop that,” says Emma, being the motherly person that she is, and slaps at my hands. I roll my eyes. We drop the discussion as we hear the grumbling of our stomachs. We fill our plates.

And then something extraordinary happens.

Frank Longbottom sits across from us and grabs a muffin. He practically inhales it.

“Hello, ladies,” Frank says, with his mouth full. I’m surprised I even understood that. But come on, you know how Frank is. He has a way with making people understand him.

I’m frozen, mid-pancake bite. This is all so surreal. I’ve never had a meal with Frank Longbottom. Neither have Emma or Jessica.

“What brings you here to this side of the table?” Emma asks politely. He always sits at the very far end of the table, near the professors. Opposite sides from where the marauders are sitting at right now. Hm, sketchy much?

He swallows down the rest of his muffin before speaking. “I’m supposed to meet up with a friend on this side of the table this morning.” We nod together, pretending that him telling us his daily plans are something that he does every morning.

When he says ‘meet up with’, he means to meet up and smoke cigarettes out in the court yard. When he says ‘friend’ he means someone that’s seeking help and has asked him for advice (an appointment with a client, so to speak).

“You’re not pale anymore,” Frank states inconsequently to Jessica.

“Excuse me?” She chokes on her eggs. Wow, this is one line Frank should not cross. Jessica hates it when people talk about her skin color. She’s always been so pale at Hogwarts, and she told me at the beginning of summer she was going to try hard to get some color in Australia, no matter the weather. She risked getting burnt! She was out probably everyday, and didn’t wear anything above SPF 4. There’s a part of me that wants to tell Frank that she doesn’t want to talk about how transparently white she’s been for the past years, but for some strange reason I don’t.

“You look tan for once,” Frank tells her. His voice isn’t mean, but kind of surprised. Like he was shocked with himself that he hadn’t noticed sooner. Well, if he looked up from the carriage while the thestrals were taking us to Hogwarts, he’d have noticed.

“I am tan,” Jessica corrects. Her voice is frighteningly calm. Alot of people had probably seen Jessica this year and noticed the difference, but just didn't say anything about it. Mostly everyone in our House knows how touchy feely she is on that subject, so I guess they just dropped it. Bringing up the fact that she now has color wouldn’t help either.

He just keeps staring at her, waiting for Jess to continue.

She sighs with aggravation. “I was in Sydney this summer.”

Frank blinks.

“It’s in Australia,” Jess tells him, as if she’s speaking to a child.

He glares at her. “Yes, thank you.” Of course he already knew where Sydney was, but for some reason Jessica’s just questioned his intelligence, which is surprising.

“Just making sure.” Jessica gives him a pearly white smile. She looks devilish. And she’s enjoying every minute of throwing Frank Longbottom off his rocker.

“Why would you need to make sure?” he questions in a daring voice.

“Well, you seemed dazed there for a second. Thought I’d help you out with the geography since your mind went blank.” She takes a bite of toast.

For once, at breakfast, could things go normally? I’ve had too many surprises in the past few days. And out of nowhere, Frank The Advice Specialist shows up at my table. What’s even stranger, though, is the way Jessica’s acting. Not once has she ever given Frank any kind of hostility. Until now.

“My mind did not go BLANK.”

“Then where DID your mind go?” She’s really having fun with this…

Emma leans over and whispers, “Is she crossing the boundary line?” Emma’s amused. I can tell. I would be too, if this situation wasn’t straight out of CompleteNuttersVille. I have a feeling that this is one moment from Hogwarts I won’t forget.

“If there were barriers around David Beckham do you think she wouldn’t be able to cross them?” I whisper back.

“I don’t know if Longbottom is one to be messed with,” she says, in her fake serious tone.

By the time Emma and I look up, Frank and Jessica are already in the middle of an argument. This is so unnecessary. It’s so unnecessary that it’s absolutely demented! We’ve barely even spoken to the boy that much since we’ve all started school here! The five seconds Emma and I talked to each other gave them both loads of time to create havoc. Amongst themselves. Their voices aren’t dangerously loud, and they’re not looking away from each other’s gaze. Frank’s and Jessica’s eyes are locked together. It’s like they are arguing with their eyes and their soft spoken words, but with words that spit venom. From an outsider’s point of view, they look like colleagues having a chat about the weather. But secretly, they’re calm voices only bring tension in between all of us. I know what happens with tension. Sooner or later, it explodes.

“I was simply calculating how long it would’ve taken for you to fly from here to Australia,” Frank tells Jess, as if this answer was obvious all along.

“Why do you care how long it took me to get there?” she snaps.

“My, my. Finelly is getting feisty.”

I think I just heard her growl.

This is so intense it’s ridiculous.

“I never saw this side of you, you know. You would always stay quiet when I walked by, and so would your friend here.” He signals with his head towards me.

“You picked the wrong day to come here to brew a big pot of friendship, Longbottom.”

“Why is that, Finelly?”

I close my eyes and put my face in my hands. Emma Sighs. And Jessica, well- I have no idea, my face is in my hands. But I don’t really wanna know anyway.

“You’re pissing me off.”

“Look, little miss sunshine, I just wanted to greet you all and say hello, since for the last six years we haven’t even had much of a friendly relationship going on. And you’re not giving me a very good first impression.” He rests his hands on the table.

“Why would you care about talking to us now?” Emma asks.

“Something interesting.”

I look at him and lift my left eyebrow. “Huh?”

He rolls his eyes at me. Knowing Frank, that’s probably his way of responding.

“Something interesting lured me over here, besides the fact that I’m meeting up with someone around this area.”

“He’s lost it,” Emma whispers under her breath, so only I can hear. She grabs a plate of waffles.

“Like some sort of questionable glow hovering over the three of you…” he finishes. He locks eyes with Jessica again. She breaks eye contact with him and looks at me. “I’m sorry he’s being such as arse.”

I give a smile at her witty apology and her pronunciation for the word ‘arse’.

“No, it’s okay,” I assure her. I never really thought Jessica would have a discussion with Frank. Let alone a heated conversation! This couldn’t have possibly come out just because of Frank’s comment on her being tan. I feel like something’s come over Jess all of a sudden. I can see it in her eyes. Is it intimidation? Annoyance? I don’t know why, though. Frank greeting us is a bit random, but it’s nothing I can’t cope with. He’s not really bugging me.

“Oh, well. No reason for me being here,” he concludes, getting up.

Jessica makes a gesture with her eyebrows. “Humph.”

“Time to find Sirius Black,” Frank announces in monotone. He claps his hands together, as if he’s ready to go search for him.

“Why?” I ask him, before I can stop myself. I feel so out of character for asking Frank Longbottom ‘why he’s doing something’. I’m surprised by my own voice. He’s surprised too, but his face relaxes in seconds. “Before I meet up with one of my friends down here, I have to go all the way over there,” he gestures.

Emma, Jessica, and I raise our eyebrows in unison.

“He doesn’t like it when people call him Mr. Black, and I haven’t muttered a word to him in a while.” He has a mischievous grin on his face as he walks away.

I laugh as Jessica and Emma quizzically look at Frank and then back at me in confusion.

It’s the first time I’ve laughed at something no one else knows about. It’s the first time Frank Longbottom and Sirius Black have made a grin appear on my face on the same morning. So I'm just sitting here laughing, like the little unpopular girl that I am. I don’t care that some Seventh Year snobs are crinkling their noses in my direction. Or that some of the Slytherins are making snide comments about my sanity. I just laugh.

My life might just be getting back to normal.

A/N- Oh, Lily. Always stuck in awkward situations xD well anybob (lol insider) I wanted 
to ask you guys if you saw any foreshadowing in this one? Do you see anything that
might foreshadow something in the chapters to come? Share your ideas with me ^_^

The next picture is: Petunia!
She's actually pretty, but let's pretend she's horrid on the inside lol.
I forget her first name.
She was in this movie called Saved! and it was pretty funny lol.

Chapter 10: Let The Games Begin
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Author's Note: La La La. What is happenin' my homeskillets? I finally finished my tenth chapter and I'm gonna try and get a head start on chapter 11. I'm sorry I couldn't update as soon as Thanksgiving ended. I had no free time. BUT THANK YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME!

My best friend just ran into a wall. And fell on the ground. You know what the worse part is? I was walking behind her. So gradually, I landed on my buttock as well.

That’s how we start off our first day of classes.

Jessica and I were walking to Muggle Studies, our first subject for today, and she was trying to show me some dance that she saw on television. It was in a music video, she told me. Well I’ll never trust her again to show me any kind of dance moves in the hallway. She didn’t know where she was going, and rammed into stone, with me hot on her tail. And it didn’t help that we were being pushed by lazy could-care-less Sixth and Seventh Years and frantic fidgety First Years.

Say that five times fast.

“Help me up.”

“Well, wait until I’m actually standing, Lily.”

“Why do we always fall down together?” I ask, as Jessica helps me up.

“Word to the wise, don’t follow in my footsteps. I run into walls,” she retorts.

I laugh as we both try to find a place in the crowd of students. It’s better to go with the flow of traffic, and find a free space and move quickly. That’s the key to not being late. If you want to be head butted by Hogwarts kids, then go right ahead and stand still in the middle of the corridors.


No one’s been talking much about what happened at the party, which makes me relieved. To them, it was just a Diggory vs. James showdown. I don’t even think I’m in that equation. It probably doesn’t make sense to anyone, since all the people at the party saw me bawling my eyes out on the floor while James was beating him up. I’m sure they have questions, and they’re probably gossiping already, but I haven’t heard anything yet. And I’d like to keep it that way. On the other hand, the nude discovery in the boys’ dormitory did not go unnoticed. Jonathan Michaels was found passed out cold on the bathroom floor. Peter Pettigrew just so happened to get up and head to the bathroom for his usual morning pee, and tripped over Jonathan. These are Sirius’s exact words, NOT MINE. Unluckily, when Peter got up to use the bathroom, the other boys followed, and they all tripped over heaping unconscious bodies. How unfortunate. None of the teachers found out, though, which is a good thing, because I’m sure my name would have come up in that equation. And people already have enough to talk about. If you think about it, if Peter hadn’t gotten up, then his other classmates wouldn’t have gotten up, hence, they wouldn’t have tripped over some of the guys they had known for the past six years. Well, Jonathan and the other guys would have probably just lain there until next morning anyway, so I guess it didn’t matter.

Why do guys go to the bathroom around the same time just to pee? And they complain about girls going to the bathroom in groups…

Today is Monday. Which means today is the first day of Sixth Year term. At breakfast, Dumbledore gave his usual lecture on being on our best behavior today and to watch out for surprises in our classes. As in, things we might not expect. He already talked to us about the differences in classes this year and how we’re expanding our ‘international horizons’, what ever that means. All I know is that my interpretations of all my days sitting in a classroom have not prepared me for this year. I can just feel it. This big school is beginning to change. And I haven’t decided if I’m going to like this year or not, with or without the diverse changes in classes.

Speaking of change, I’m happy to say that I haven’t talked to James Potter or the rest of his friends at all since the other day. Stop giving me that disappointing look. It’s actually a good thing. I mean I’m not happy that I haven’t mumbled a syllable to them, but I’m happy that they haven’t changed around me. You know how I was so worried that things would be weird between the marauders and me? Well nothing’s been altered. James has seen me and not said anything, and just continued with his work. Things are just as they were before the party. Er- alright, no it’s not. Things as they were before the party consisted of James’s terrible pick up lines, his teasing, and Sirius’s lack of staying out of other people’s personal space. The strange thing is that all three of those things have seemed to disappear. I haven’t witness any of the marauders antics around Jessica or myself. James hasn’t spoken to me, let alone used a pick up line. That was one of the major differences I noticed. Since falling asleep on the couch, he hasn’t said a word to me. And I know what you’re thinking: Something has definitely changed, you idiot!

Well, no.

I don’t think anything has. I’ll admit I was scared that things would become unusual since that night. His not talking to me doesn’t mean things aren’t the same as they were before, he just doesn’t feel obliged to speaking to me. And I’m totally fine with that. I told Jessica this, and she called me a git. She said that it’s a theory my mind made up to help with my denial about the situation. Jess thinks that to really know what’s going on, I have to strap on that belt of courage by the name of Godric Gryffindor and go talk to James.

Pff, what does she know?
She has no clue what’s going on in here! In my head!

It’s a battle everyday. Maybe I’m going insane, but then again, I’m right about some of the things in my theory, aren’t I? Aren’t I?


“Welcome, class! My name is Professor Franklin. I’m going to be teaching you the subject of Muggle Studies this year!” Our professor talks a little bit about herself while Jessica and I walk through the door for Muggle Studies. Class hasn’t exactly begun yet. As soon as I walk through the door, I stop.

“Damn,” I say under my breath.

“What?” Jessica asks. As soon as she says this she looks inside the class. Of course, standing there in the middle of the room are the marauders.

They don’t notice me first, until Peter catches my stare and nudges James in the side. He looks up at me and we both just stare at each other. It’s not really much like a gaping kind of look, but more like a weird ‘what’s next?’ kind of look. His eyes look worn in, like he hasn’t had much sleep. I’m too busy looking at him that I don’t notice the arrangement of desks. It’s like all the desks were aligned in a big square, except it’s a three sided square. The desks are in one long arrangement that starts from the front of the room all the way around the walls and back to the front. If there was a line of desks where I stood now, it would cover the door and it would make a perfect square. The desks are facing the inside of the room, and its backs to the windows or wall. The desks are large and spacious, which is probably a good thing.

I mean, you can’t fit computers on a small mahogany desk, now can you?


Hogwarts has gone Personal Computer.

“I can’t believe this!” Jessica says, after glancing at the desks and at me. “I mean, I can’t believe we’re in the same class as them,” she jerks a thumb at the marauders, “but I also can’t believe that we’re going to be working with computers. Computers! In Muggle Studies!”

I’m speechless…

Professor Franklin talked us through the basics of working a computer. She’s a half blood, and her father, who was a muggle, had owned a shop that helped with fixing electronics. I thought it was nice that she shared with us how she got started. And it helps that there aren’t any Slytherins to snicker about her personal background, because I know that they would make mean remarks if they were here right now. That’s what I love about Muggle Studies. Not only because I can connect with the other side of my life, but also because Slytherins never take it.

We’re now half way into the lesson.

I have no idea how I survived half way through this class. Two reasons: One, James Potter. James isn’t even nervous, which is so annoying! I’m sweating over here. Two, Jessica Finelly. I’m seated no where near Jess, which is such a pain! She’s in the line across from me, and James is in the same line too. He’s sitting directly across from me, like a mirrored image. I find that ironic and intimidating at the same time, and I don’t know why. Sirius is a desk away from Peter and their row of computers is the line in the back of the room, their backs to the wall. Remus is in my line but further down near the front. Remus is straight across from Jessica, and I’m straight across from James. Remus is in the same spot as Jessica is on the other side, except he’s not sitting next to Albert The Fart Machine. It’s not the loud fart sounds that kill us. It’s the SILENT BUT DEADLYs that kill us. No one’s ever heard him fart. But you don’t have to hear it to smell it.

Things would be less complicated if these damn desks weren’t put in an awkward square (minus one side). Do you know what it was like explaining where everyone sat? I'm already worn out!

Professor Franklin has already taught us the ups and downs of the internet already and class is almost over. “Alright, now that I’ve showed you all how to use your Personal Computer, you may now have some free time and play on the internet if you’d like,” Professor Franklin tells the class.


I created a screen name!


I’m so darn proud of myself. I never knew how the hell messaging on the internet worked. It took me a while to know what ‘screen name’ meant. I went on Google, and read about them! I know, I know. I’m a nerd. But I learned a lot! The computers I’ve gone on only had e-mail. I wonder if anyone else has found out how to make one. I can’t wait to try this out! Messages, on the internet. Messages… ON THE INTERNET! How awesome is that? It’s like BAM hello and you’re not even next to the person. And when you have to leave, it’s like BAM goodbye, and you don’t even hug or wave the person goodbye. It’s so cyber-ific.


I catch Sirius’s eye and look at him quizzically. He has that marauder glimmer in his eyes. I glance at Jessica, and she’s noticed it too. She glares at him, and then gives me a wave. I wave back. It looks like Albert has suddenly had a bad case of flatulence because Jessica’s distorting her face like she’s smelled something disgusting. Albert is red in the face. I feel bad for Jessica… And Albert. I could never grow up with a farting problem and take it so well. His face was just red in embarrassment. I would be digging a hole on the Quidditch pitch and plan to never get out. My computer flashes a box on my screen. I click it.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: BOOM CHICKA WAH!loveMEsomeCHEESE19: AY BAY BAY!SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Please, Peter. Be more original next time -_-FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: I regret the day I met you all.EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: omg.

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Can I leave please?

The world has stopped.
Out of all the things I never thought possible…

How the hell did Sirius Black get my screen name? I created it three minutes ago! And why does he know more about this internet messaging stuff then I do!? What did he do to get us all together? I think this is a Chat Room. People invite others that are also online at the same time so they can all talk together. I think that’s what he did.

I glance over at everyone and we all look at each other. Except James. He’s just sitting there looking bored. He yawns and puts his hands over his head. I glare daggers his way. Can he stop acting cool and get nervous? Freak out? Hyperventilate a little bit?

What do I do now? I wish Jessica was next to me.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Sirius, you are the last person in the world I would talk to via the internet.

Have mercy.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Thank goodness I’m not the only one who thinks that way ;]



JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: hah.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: …FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Shut up, Peter.loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I didn’t say anything!

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I feel like a little kid again. Just like the old days when I would sneak out of the house and spend the day exploring the computers at the public library ^_^ (before the librarians told me to watch out for the ‘bad sites’.)

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Ew.SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know! *cries*
IxOWNxMRBECKHM4ever: I’m not saying “Ew” to that. I’m saying “Ew” to the little smilie face you used.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: What, this? ^_^

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Can we do something productive?

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Shut up. NERD.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: I’m not helping you with Ancient Runes anymore.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: NOOOO!

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Ladies and gentlemen, these are my friends.
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: lol.

Oh, crap! Did I type and send after he typed and sent? This is bad. No, no, no, no. He’s going to think I was laughing at what he said! In actual truth, I wasn’t; I was laughing at this whole entire conversation in general. Oh-My-Goodness. This boy has me over-analyzing everything! Damn him.


loveMEsomeCHEESE19: …


FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Sirius, Please -_-

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: No need for more commentary.

I’m afraid to look up.
Don’t look up, don’t look up, don’t look up!
I look up.

But I don’t peek at James. I glance at Jess. I give her a pleading look. She gives me a look back. But I have no idea what point she is trying to get across to me. Great, now I’m at a loss. This whole situation is mind-boggling. I’m having a conversation on the internet, inside Hogwarts! Not only that, but I’m at a lost for words on what to do now. All thanks to Sirius! Come on, stop acting like an ass!

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Sorry, no more commentary.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Anyway…

Did that just happen? He apologized for something he said! That never occurs. It’s like trying to have a tea party with a unicorn.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I wonder what it’s like to wear a turban.
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: wtf.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: What? Don’t judge me.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: It was just a thought! My next door neighbor wears one. It looks itchy.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Let’s go see if they have some in Hogsmeade next time! I’ll get one, too :]
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: sweet 8-)
FOULLxxHOULLxxRL58: You can’t be serious.
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Padfoot.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Prongs.
FOULLxxHOULLxxRL58: Wormtail, stop. They’re having a discussion.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Oh, sorry. Thought it was a game.
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: -_-
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Lily, are you witnessing this?
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Unfortunately, yes.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Anyway, what were you saying Prongs?
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: You can’t wear a turban just for kicks.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Yeah, why not?!
FOULLxxHOULLxxRL58: Peter!
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Alright, fine!
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: What if someone finds it offensive?
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Why would they think that? I’m not mocking them or anything.
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Yes, but they don’t know that.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I think turbans are cool =)
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: wow.
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: I can’t believe I’ve seen such a conversation.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I agree, turbans look cool!
FOULLxxHOULLxxRL58: God damn it, Peter.
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Oh, I was wondering where you’ve been all this time.
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: I was trying to wipe the stupidity of my screen.

AHAHAH. I high five Jessica in the air and she high five’s me back.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: damn.SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Did she just insult us?FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: no…

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: just you two.

Huh, I’ve never noticed that they finish each other’s sentences. That’s like Jess and me. Those good-for-nothing copy cats.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: What does this big button next to the computer do?

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: You mean the monitor?
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: No, the square thingy. The actual computer.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I don’t have a big button =(

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: I’m pretty sure none of us do.

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Padfoot, I think your computer is the main plug for all the other computers.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: oh goodness, no.


FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Sirius, don’t touch ANYTHING.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: oh, shit.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Why do I have the feeling that something bad is going to happen?SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: MUWAHAHAHA!

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I’m going to start praying now.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Why my parents made me sign up for this class, I have no idea.JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Sirius, DON’T!FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Do I have to take care of everyone around here?!

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Padfoot. Please, don’t get a detention on the first day of classes.SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: come ON. Nothing’s going to happen. They probably bewitched the computers. It’s Hogwarts. You think a button will do damage?

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: He has a point…

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: No. Stop! Don’t add fuel to the fire.loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I have no idea what the hell that meant.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Don’t agree with him, Peter.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: It’ll give Sirius too much confidence.


All of a sudden, I (along with the rest of the class), hear a rumbling sound coming from Sirius’s computer. His eyes go wide, and everyone in the row backs up. But he, the idiot, just sits there wide eyed. Professor Franklin runs toward the back of the room and yells, "Oh!”.

Everyone starts shouting, and we all get out of our chairs and back away. I put my back against the windows. And the computers, one by one… row by row… blow up. Now I don’t mean like a Mission Impossible kind of blow up. I mean like a (crack, flash, BOOM) broken kind of blow up. Pieces of glass from the monitors explode everywhere. Sirius finally gets his brain gears to start working and comprehends that what he’s doing is not safe. But he fidgets and freaks out and falls out of his chair. In fright, he hides under his desk. Professor Franklin is in the cupboard room behind the teaching desk and starts pulling and twisting wires, and push weird, oddly shaped buttons. It helps a bit, as I can see. That’s quite a relief because it actually means I CAN see.

Smoke is filling the room like a wildfire and I'm tearing. I honestly see nothing. But now, a lot of the smoke has died down. It’s dead quiet and everyone’s waving off the air with their hands, coughing and heaving. Professor Franklin tells us to calm down and a whole bunch of other stuff but I’m not listening. I glare at Sirius, and Jessica is making a punching motion with her hand toward him. I don’t even know what his friends think of him right now. The smoke clears out more and there is nothing but silence. No coughing, no talking. Professor Franklin finishes telling us what ever she was telling our class (which I missed completely because I was too focused on killing Sirius Black with my eyes). Everyone has shifted and the entire class is look at Sirius, who’s still huddled under his desk. It’s still hard to see him because his computer was the last to stop smoking and practically destroying itself. In quick time, there is no smoke left in the room, and we’re all still staring at Sirius. And he’s finally in full view.

He’s whimpering and sucking his thumb, with his arm around his legs.


So you know that big button next to Sirius’s the computer?
Yeah, it wasn’t the plug for all the others. James’s guess was way wrong.

Wanna know what it was? You’ll get a kick out of this…

It was the emergency brake. As if that’s even possible for a Personal Computer. The purpose for the button was to destroy all records and information saved in the computers if outsiders tried to hack into Hogwarts. If an emergency happened and we needed to evacuate the building, the button would be pushed and every kind of data that could help our enemies inside would be annihilated. Professor Franklin explained how the computers are muggle electronics and how they need to be taken care of the muggle way. Henceforth, they can’t be taken care of by magic. Not big complicated machines, anyway.

Not only that, but Sirius got detention. It’s going to take quite a few pounds to fix everything he did. But that’s not even the bad part.

Jessica, Remus, James, Peter, and I got detention too!


Sirius said that we ‘asked him to do it’ and that we ‘pressured him to break the rules’. He basically ratted us out and told Professor Franklin lies! You should have seen the look on her face. She looked so disappointed I just wanted to cry! Now she’s going to think badly of me every time she sees me. And will never look at me the same again. I’m so mad at him for this. As far as I know, everyone’s been ignoring Sirius all day. This is his fault. HIS FAULT. We told him not to do it. But does he listen? No. I’m mostly furious about getting a detention over something I didn’t even do, on the first day of classes. He couldn’t even wait until lunch to do something disastrous. Oh, No. He just HAD to do it first period. I’m not talking to him.


I went on to my next classes with ease. There are some classes that really have been changed and edited, but none have been altered as much as Muggle Studies. I still can’t believe we are working with computers, and I still can’t believe what Sirius did! Before Lunch, I had Potions with Jessica, Sirius, and Frank. I flipped out on all three of them when I walked in. Well, Jessica and Frank not so much. Mostly Sirius. I yelled at him and hit him in the head before class started. He tried to get a word in and speak but I just skedaddled to my seat. His seat was far away from mine, thank goodness.
I avoided Jonathan the entire way to my seat, and all through class.

I sat next to Jess, and Frank Longbottom was behind me. He noticed my distress and asked if I was on my period. I ignored him as much as I could. Jessica didn’t though. She turned around and snapped at him as soon as the words left his mouth. He simply just put his hands in the air defensively and made a look that said ‘chill out, man’. Only Frank can make that face. Jessica, on the other hand, was as pissed at Sirius as I was. She practically gave Sirius the finger every time Professor Slughorn’s back was turned! But I don’t blame her. She’s a prefect and she’s getting detention! She makes rounds at night with James. And James got detention too! This is disastrous. Now another partnered pair will have to fill in that night. I’m sure that the people assigned won’t be pleased about using their night off to do rounds, and Professor Dumbledore won’t be pleased either. Heaven knows what McGonagall is gonna think of this.

Lunch didn’t suck as much as I thought it would. I got some alone time with Jessica and she got mail from her boyfriend, Jeff. He just started school and wanted to write to her as soon as he could. He included some pictures from his first day back. His school is small, if I do say so myself. Then again, I go to Hogwarts. I should be punished for making assumptions about small schools and preparatory academies. Lunch was probably the best part of the day, since I at least got to see Jessica’s mood shift just a little bit. At least one of us has a man. I’m not pouting…

You should have seen her face. Her eyes lit up and she could practically smell Jeff’s cologne off the paper. To be honest, Jeff apparently smells quite foxy. I like guys who smell good- KILL ME NOW. I didn’t mean to have a relation to James just then, I SWEAR! I’m just saying that if you like a guy, you like him a lot more when he smells fantastic! I know I’m not the only one who likes a guy who doesn’t reek of nasty body odor and sweat. And it just so happens that James seems to like to smell good. That has nothing, what so ever, to do with me. If he takes it upon himself to smell good, then fine. I don’t care. At least he’s a human who likes to smell nice. I mean, God! Throw me a frickin’ bone here.

I’m resting in the common room right now, putting the finishing touches on my Ancient Runes essay. I want to get it done ahead of time, because I have a feeling that tomorrow I’m gonna have to write an essay for Potions. I’m pretty good when it comes to predicting homework. And of course, I need to have it done tonight, so I don’t stay up until 3 AM doing the rest of my homework. And do you know why I have to do it now?

Because I won’t have any time.
You wanna know why I won’t have any time?

Because of a boy named Sirius Black who has the brain smarts of snail and his inabilities to follow the rules.

Do you wanna know why it’s all because of a boy named Sirius Black who has the brain smarts of snail and his inabilities to follow the rules?

Because he got me detention.
Damn him.

Thank goodness I only have three classes with him. Or actually, the marauders in general. And it’s funny because if a have a class with a marauder, then Jess is in that class as well. I have Ancient Runes with Peter, Remus, Frank, and Jessica. I have Potions with Jessica, Sirius, and Frank. Last but not least, I have Muggle Studies with all four of them. Oh, lucky me. NOT.

I’m not going to forget this. I’ve never had a detention on the first day of classes before. And don’t think that I’m obsessing about this too much, because I am definitely not. I have every right to freak out! I’m practically known for freaking out; hence, I have this privilege. I could write down a list of things that have gone wrong in my life, and practically tell the world what NOT to do when you’re alive.

What sucks is that each year I always, always, always have an unnecessary amount of class with the marauders, whether it’s one of them or all of them! It pisses me off. It’s like Professor Dumbledore is laughing maniacally in his throne of wisdom. It’s like he’s secretly enjoying this, thought not really. He probably had nothing to do with this, and I’m just babbling. Oh, whatever. It’s what I’m good at. I don’t even know what to think anymore. This whole detention thing is frying my brain.


Professor Franklin never told us who we were doing detention for! Sweet biscuits. I hope it’s not Madame Pince. I love that woman, but she really needs to get out more. She kind of acts like a mouse outside the library doors. The library’s like her comfort zone. She’s always been like that. I wonder if she was like that when my mom went here, if she ever went here at all. She died when I was seven so I didn’t really get to know much about her. All I remember is the memories I had with James, and the memories I had with Petunia, and some family celebrations. I don’t have good recognition on my mom. We did have a lot of alone time. My mother and I would always pick flowers, and we would always play dolls when James wasn’t over. Those were the kinds of things I couldn’t do with him because he was too busy playing with his My First Quidditch Broom. It’s sad though, because I never really got to know her. Did she go to Hogwarts? What was her favorite sport? Did she like a lot of salt on her popcorn like Jessica does? I don’t remember the sound of her voice all too well anymore.


I look up from the coffee table to see Jessica taking a seat on the couch next to me.

“Hi, Jess.”

“I have to go to Defense Against the Dark Arts in a little while, so I thought I’d burn some extra time with you before I left.”

“Er, yeah….”

“But, I guess your still doing your essay?” she says with a chuckle.

“Hey, don’t come crying to me when your up all night until the bloody crack of dawn doing your homework. I chose to do it right now because I’m ‘responsible student’,” I say to her, using my air quotes.

“Responsible students don’t use air quotes,” she teases. I roll my eyes. “What’s your next class?” she asks me.

“I have Transfiguration.”

She tilts her head. “Ugh, McGonagall?”


“Well, at least you don’t have to explain to her why a certain prefect, make that two, have detention tonight.”

“I don’t even want to think about what it’s going to be like for you and,” I almost blurt out James, but I stop abruptly.

“James Potter?” she guesses.

“Yeah. When are you planning on telling her?”

“I’ll tell McGonagall after my DADA class.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna need it. She’s probably gonna pee herself when she hears that James and I have detention. I’ve been stressing about it all day.”

I laugh. “I can tell. In every class today, you either went on a rant about how dead you were going to be when you confront McGonagall or how much you wanted to kill Sirius Black.”

"Don’t even bring that name up. It makes me want to punch a wall." Jessica puts to fingers to her temple and massages her head. “I’ve had a stressful day.”

“You think you’re the only one? How about my messaging encounter with Potter?”

“Oh, jeez. That must have been embarrassing.”

“What the hell was that?! I mean Potter was all chill about everything and then there were these silences and stupid Sirius, being an ass twice in one day, had to point it out. My cheeks were giving off radiation.”

“That was one of the biggest internet fiascos to encounter at Hogwarts.”

“I agree one hundred percent.” I sigh and lean my head against Jessica’s shoulder.

“At least you didn’t have to sit next to Albert the Fart Machine.”

“Hah, that’s true.” I chuckle.

“I don’t know what he had for breakfast, but I was dying over there.”

“If you think about, today has been the most surreal day ever. Besides the sleepover and hanging the marauders by a roof. Besides the common room party with Diggory. Hell, besides sleeping in the boys’ dormitory, I think today was the most unexpected day.”

“What’s happening with our lives?”

“Who knows?”


I arrive outside Professor Franklin’s room and wait. A few more minutes pass and Sirius and James make their way down the corridor. I cross my arms and stare at the wall and pretend that I don’t see them. “Come on, Ginger. You can’t stay mad at me forever!”


I’m seething and he steps back. James just stares and starts chuckling at us. I bite my tongue and stop myself from telling him to go fall in a pit of fire, no matter how much respect I have for him. “Is there a problem here?” Remus walks up behind me.

“Your so called best friend decided to call me something I would never allow someone to call me. And, Oh… I don’t know… HE GOT ME DETENTION ON THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES!”

Remus steps back, and shifts his head to the left a little bit in a look that says ‘stop talking to me, crazy lady!’ as he blinks rapidly. “First off, you need to calm down.”

“Hah! That’s funny-”

“Could I just say something-?” Sirius pipes up.

“-No! You can stay there and shut your trap, you barbarian!” I turn my head towards Remus. “How can you not be upset over this? Or even a little bit mad?”

“After six years with Padfoot, I have adapted to his customs. It’s not big deal, really-”

“You know, Sirius IS standing right here,” Sirius says in third person, pointing to himself.

“Shut it! I’m not talking to you. You are not allowed to talk to me when I am in the same room, and I don’t want to hear your voice! If you haven’t noticed, I am completely pissed at you. So unless you want a punch in the gut, you better shut that hole in your face!”

James bursts out laughing and Sirius looks like a little kid that’s just been slapped by his grandmother. He pouts and furrows his eyebrows.

“Good. Now you’re actually silent,” I mumble.

“You’re blowing this way out of proportion, Lily. We’re all a little bit annoyed at what he’s done, and yes, we’ve practically kicked him in the shins every chance we’ve got today. But he’s still our friend-”

“Don’t speak with a ‘we’. How do you know if anybody else agrees with what you’re saying?!”

“Well. Take a look. James and Sirius came down together, and you don’t see Prongs strangling him, do you?”

I look at James. For the second time today we stare into each other’s eyes. All I see his hazel. And I know that all he sees is green. James coughs and shifts his eyes to the ground. “Alright,” I say, facing Remus again. “Fine. So maybe you and Potter are all happy-go-lucky about it-”

“-I am NOT happy-go-lucky!” Remus interjects.

“-but how do you know Peter agrees with this?”

Just then, Peter shows up around the corner behind James. “I agree with what?” He asks.

“Little Miss Ginger over here can’t seem to forgive me and thinks that you all should hate me,” Sirius blurts, looking straight at me.

I lunge for him. “DON’T CALL ME GINGER!”

Peter holds me just in time. “Okay, so maybe Sirius isn’t the best when it comes to following the rules…”

I glare at him.
He cannot be serious.

None of them are mad at Sirius?

“You know what? Whatever. I’m not talking to any of you.”

“Think of it this way, Evans; we can all spend more time with each other,” Sirius winks at me.

“Creep,” Jessica says.

“Jess, I thought you’d never show! I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes.”

“Yeah, I had to talk to McGonagall.”

She punches Sirius in the arm and walks over to me.

“What did she say?”

She turns to all of us, including James, since he’s her partner for prefect rounds.

"McGonagall said that we can’t go to the first Hogsmeade trip coming up."

“What?! I live for those! Not that. Anything but that!” James says with an exasperated expression.

“It’s better than getting punished and not being able to go to the Hogsmeade camping trip in November! She was furious.”

Professor Franklin’s door opens and she steps out. She gestures with her hand to come inside; and we do, one by one. James butts in front of me and holds the door for me. He leans in and whispers, “Let the games begin.”

A/N - This is the part where you're supposed to gasp. =] 
I really hope you liked this chappie! I know it's not one of my best, but I tried.
Well, I don't want you to be mad at me.. but.. this chapter's picture isn't gonna be a picture of a character. I know, I know! But I didn't want you to be consfused about the seating arrangements in Muggle Studies. And even thought you might not care (you are probably gonna kill me for this), I am going to post a picture of what the room looks like. I want you guys to understand what it looks like through Lily's eyes because trust me, the seating arrangements are very important!

sorry if it's not as 3D cool as you thought lol.
And one last thing, I know this chapter has screen names and Instant Message conversations but I made sure that everything was safe to use! Screen names can only be 16 characters long and I made sure that the characters' screen names were well passed that so I wouldn't be taking some one else's screen name or something like that. So, without further more... REVIEW MY LOVELY BUNNIES!


Chapter 11: Detention With Unidentified Crawling Objects
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Professor Franklin split us in half. Jessica, Peter, and Sirius are going to go polish the trophies and James, Remus, and I are going to clean the floor of the Great Hall. She just handed us buckets of water and we’re making our way down to the Great Hall right now. Kill me.

How creepy was that little unnecessary gesture that James had pulled before we entered her office? That ponce. I literally had a shiver going down my spine. That little whisper just made my head inflate like helium. It’s intimidating, is it not?

Everything I’ve done with these boys has distanced me from Jessica, no matter what; or for the time being, just separates her and me for a short time. Why can’t Jess and I just be alone during detention to go do other girlie things? Like, I don’t know, clean the girls’ bathrooms on the third floor, or refill the tampon machines. I mean really. Separate the sexes once and a while. It’s discriminatory against us women to not have our social female bonding time during detention!

Jessica’s face when she left to clean the trophies was priceless. She looked like an anime character ready to explode. Sirius almost took off running. Jessica’s gotten over the whole detention thing now that she’s here. It’s not like she can do anything about it. But she’s going to want to break Sirius Black’s legs for the next couple of days until the steam in her head disappears. It was hard parting with her, mainly just because she was stuck with Sirius and Peter. I felt sorry for her. But since I have the team of idiots on my side I have nothing to pity her about. She should be sorry for me in any case.

Remus and James carry the buckets of water while I carry the washcloths, the mops, and the sponges. There’s complete silence. I don’t know what to do about this. James is so nonchalantly cool about everything. It’s not like I’m obsessed with him (I AM NOT!), but why isn’t he thinking about any of this? He’s become so laid back in the past few days, and it’s been driving me crazy. Woah, maybe this is the game James was referring too!?


Am I analyzing this too much? Is it just me? I can’t get my mind around it. You have to understand that nothing like this has ever happened in the many years that I’ve known him, including our Hogwarts years. He’s so… UGH! First he doesn’t say anything, and then he has the frickin’ nerve to tell me that some game has started. I was not notified of any damn game! I’m starting to think he has a multiple personality disorder. I open the door to the Great Hall and let the boys go in first. James smirks at me as I hold the door for them.

“Woah,” Remus says, as he walks through.

“I’ve never seen it so… bare,” pipes up James.

I glance around and notice that the Hall is completely empty. No tables, no benches. Just grease stains and weird looking food on the floor. Grease stains and weird looking food on the floor that WE have to clean up. I’ve never noticed what slobs Hogwarts students are. This is gonna be gross. Remus and James set down the water buckets.

Remus bends down and puts his face close to a weird moving object on the ground. “What is it?” he questions. From the looks of it, it’s some sort of small concoction making its way east of the staff table. It’s greasy and gross. “I think it’s someone’s spinach,” he concludes. I shudder and set down the cleaning supplies next to my feet. James contorts his face in disgust at Remus and comes over to get a sponge, and doesn’t even look at me. I stare at him the entire way up and back. My mouth drops. He didn’t even glance at me! His head wasn’t even twisted towards me. WTF.

Am I that revolting?

Fine! I’ll just glare at him then, and take my anger out on the back of his head with my fingers and pretend to flick him. Over and over.

“Um. What are you doing?” Remus asks me quizzically.

I snap out of my flicking trance. Craptastic.

“Nothing. Here’s a mop.” I hand him a Martha Stewart looking utensil.

There’s silence for what seems like forever as we scrub and clean different sections of the floor. I glance at James every once and a while and there’s nothing but a smirk on his face every time.

“So,” Remus starts. “Someone’s a slow worker.”

I look up and he’s almost half way across the Great Hall and his voice echoes.

“How did you get so far?!” I’m still in the bloody corner. Why did I give him the only mop? Stupid white mop.

He smirks and doesn’t answer my question. I pout. As usual.

“So how was Potions?” James asks out of the blue, keeping his head down and scrubbing. I’m startled that he’s speaking to me.

“Why do you want to know?” I say, with a little too much edge.

“Padfoot elaborated on the subject of someone flipping him off and hitting him on the head.”

I throw my sponge down. Oh, no he didn’t. “I didn’t flip ANYONE off, first off. I do take responsibility for hitting him, because he deserved it. But you can thank your rounds partner for the sticking up of a certain middle finger… Repeatedly.”

I huff. Woah, I’m huffing?

Calm down.

He chuckles. “Alright, alright. No need to get moody.” He still hasn’t looked up at me.


“WHAT!?” I bellow, out of the blue.


What have I done?

James is shaken and falls back on the ground. For the first time this detention, he’s looking straight at me. Remus looks up and is about to use his mop as a weapon of self defense. I completely just yelled at James for no reason! Except, maybe I just bluntly screamed for the sake of my rambling? My goodness. Get a hold of yourself! Stupid man inside my head! He’s such a freak. My brain just couldn’t take the frustration over James and the paranoia and the annoying part of it all, so it just burst.

James obviously thinks that I was responding to him, though it doesn’t make sense. But that explains why he’s looking at me all freaked out. So is Remus as he sets the mop down slowly.

Paranoia gets the better side of Lily Evans.

I can make assumptions like that because I’ve witnessed it.

Hell, two fourths of the marauders have witnessed it.

My face is pure white, not even red.

“What- THE FUCK- was that, Evans?” James asks, a little teeny tiny bit terrified.

“You!” I blurt without reason/with reason.

My eyelids open a little bit more at this realization. Shit. Now I’m in for it.

“How am I the reason why you just screamed a four letter word oh-so forcefully?!”

“You’re pissing me off! And I’m asking you ‘what’ it is that is bothering you.” It makes sense kind of? Right?

“Why do you think I’m bothered?!”

“Because you’re pissing me off!”

“…Because you think I’m bothered, I’m pissing you off?”

“No. You’re bothered and it’s making me pissed off!”

We’re yelling and Remus is whipping his head between James and me, looking back and forth frantically.

“I’m not bothered!”

"Then why are you pissing me off!?"

James makes a face that questions my sanity.

“Do you understand what you’re saying, Evans?”

“I am fully capable of understanding the words that I use.”

“Then what is your problem!?”

“I have no problem!” I yell at him. HE has the problem, not ME. Dufus.

“Fine!” He slams his sponge down.

“Fine!” I reply, picking up my bucket. “What are you doing?” I ask. James gets up and makes his way over to the pile of cleaning supplies near me.

“I’m changing my sponge, because mine is HEADSTRONG AND ANNOYING.”

As if it’s my fault.

“What are you doing?” he asks me in a whiny voice.

“I’m going to go change my bucket water, because it’s PISSING ME OFF.”

“Yeah? Well, my old sponge is LOUD AND DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. And with a new sponge, it won’t yell at me and blame me for things that don’t make sense to the human mind!” He picks up a weird looking sponge. “A-HA! THE SPONGE!”





And with that, he kneels down again and starts scrubbing. I turn around and stomp towards the girls’ bathroom with my bucket. Stupid butt wipe. I don’t need this psychotic-ness. I have enough of it already.




I walk out of the Great Hall and turn right. I peek through the windows. It’s gotten significantly darker since I last checked. I’m impatiently holding the bucket with both my hands, having arms like string beans, and wishing that I could gain some muscle. When you hold a bucket of water for a minute or two while walking down a long hallway, you tend to feel the burn. I make a left and see the trophy case, and its occupants.

“You can polish my trophy any time, Finelly.”

“Oh, no. Padfoot. Not again,” Peter mumbles, hanging his head.

“Sirius, I’m this close- THIS CLOSE- to shoving my foot up your bazooka!” Jessica replies.

“You know, the thing about life is-” Peter tells them, trying to change the subject.

“-Oh, Finelly, I knew that having detention with you would show your love for me-”

“-You have to take it by the horns-” Peter continues.

“-Never, in a million years, will I EVER want to polish your trophy-!” Jessica yells.

“-And when you take life by the horns-”

“-Or go near your trophy! Hell, I’m pretty sure there is no trophy-!”

“-HEY! I HAVE A TROPHY-!” Sirius bellows protectively.

“-You steer the direction you want to go to in life. Or actually, pummel; not steer, in the direction you want to go through in life, ‘cause I mean, really, it’s a bull we’re talking about, right-?” Peter is now looking a bit confused, and scratches his head.

“-Well, if you say you have a trophy, then I suggest you protect it from me, because you’re gonna lose your ability to have children if you keep up with the sexual metaphors!”

In one fluid motion, Sirius does that weird protective dance that he did when I was in the boys’ dormitory, and he puts his hands over himself. This makes me laugh, which directs their attention to me.

“Wow, guys,” I laugh.

Jessica is seething and turns around. “Lily, please. Take me away from here.”

Sirius throws his hands in the air defensively. “It’s not my fault I can’t think of a non-sexual metaphor!”

Peter is facing the other way, talking to himself, and scratching his head more. Jessica flicks the back of his head.

“Ow! Oh. Hi, Lily.”

“I need a break.” Jess throws down her cloth and puts the trophy back on display.

“Don’t leave me here with him. I’m gonna have to do everything!” Peter whines.

“You’ve been able to deal with him for years, and this is no different!” Jessica snaps at him.

She takes the water bucket from my hands. “Thanks, it was killing me.”

I see her smile. “I thought you would need an extra hand. And I just had to get away from those two.” I hold the bathroom door open for her. She dumps the contents of the bucket down the sink.

“Ew!” I squeak.

“What is that?” She looks at it.

“I don’t know, but it’s floating.” I point to the orange blob until it disappears down the drain.

“So…” Jessica starts to refill the bucket with clean water. I can see that she’s just itching to know what it’s been like in the Great Hall. Jessica’s just too polite sometimes to just come out and say it. Oh, Jessica Marie Finelly. If only you knew.

“He’s being an ass.” I’m gonna go with the straightforward route. I’ve got nothing to hide, anyway.

She laughs. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I would, except I’m sure you’ve been noticing how he’s been acting.”

She leaves the bucket in the sink and turns to me, resting one of her hands on the rim of the big bucket.

“You don’t think that maybe he’s doing this on purpose just to see you suffer?”

I ponder for a while. “I don’t really know. I don’t think so. I mean what reason would he have to do that? Just to drive me nuts? I don’t think he would do that.”

“Um, yeah, he would.”

“You’re right. He definitely would,” I conclude. “But I don’t think that’s it. He’s driving me insane.”

“What he’s doing to you has this reaction: you can’t stop thinking about him. And I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” I can tell she’s being honest.

“It’s a bad thing, Jess.”

“I don’t get why you won’t give him a chance, though. Sure, he’s an idiot with idiot friends. He’s smart about random things, and he’s dumb about school things. He knows he’s hot, and he’s a bit cocky. But he has a sense of humor, and he has a kind of good heart.”

“Don’t stress me out, please. I don’t like him like that, for the last time. And besides, I think that ship has sailed a couple days ago. It’s not like I could give him a chance if I wanted to, since he’s been acting like I’m the most revolting thing he’s seen. He’s flat out ignoring me.”

She looks at me, not believing the words that just came out of my mouth.

“What!?” I say defensively. “I’m just saying! I was being realistic.”

“… So you would give him a chance? If he stopped acting like that?”

“Hell to the NO.”

Jessica lifts up my bucket, filled to the top with clean water, and offers to carry it back.

“I wonder how long he’s going to be like this,” I mumble.

“Like what, is the question.”

I nod my head in agreement. “How long is he going to be like ‘what’ exactly.” I use my air quotes. There isn’t even a name for what he’s behaving like!

We hear a grumble come from the drain in the sink and we both peek over the side of it. The tiny orange blob crawls back up the pipe and practically jumps at us.

“AHHHHH!” We scream the entire way down the hallway.


“About damn time, Evans.”

I glare at James.

“What do you care?”

“I don’t.” Remus and James are practically finished with the Great Hall. And my side is completely clean. My brain can no longer function.

“Oh.” I don’t know what to say. They cleaned it up for me?

“You were taking too long, and I was already done,” James says, wiping his hands on the wash cloth. He walks by me and takes the bucket from my hands.

Guilt washes over me. “That was really, um, fast.” He bends down and cleans up the corner that hasn’t been washed.

Remus just gives me a meaning full look, and nods his head. He walks out the doors of the Great Hall to use the bathroom. “I can do the rest,” I tell James. “No, its fine, I got it,” he replies, like he doesn’t care.

Awe, come on!


James ignores me until detention finishes. And I feel like crap the entire time.


I’ve contemplated this fiasco in my head all night in bed and I haven’t been able to sleep; it’s around 3 AM. I decide to get out of my dormitory and try to do something productive. But then, I remind myself that I’ve been going through this mental trauma and have been suffering internally for the last couple days that I’m not in any condition to do something smart. Screw productivity. I curl up in my pajamas on the couch in the common room and turn on the television.



“I was sleeping you know.”

I fall off the couch and land hard on the floor in fright. “You scared me!” I yell at him.

“Hush. You’re going to wake up everyone in Gryffindor,” Frank says, getting up and ruffling his pillow on the couch. He had been curled up in the fetal position on the other side of the couch, for who knows how long.

I slowly claw my way back up on the couch, completely shaken. “That was quite a traumatizing experience for you, I’m guessing,” Frank chuckles, as he sits back down. My right eye twitches.

“Didn’t mean to petrify you, I just couldn’t sleep. What, with all the talk in the boys’ dormitory about Anthony’s new Quidditch broom and how Susan’s arse has gotten exquisitely bigger since the summer, I couldn’t get a wink of sleep.”

I let my heart rate get back to normal. “No, it’s fine. I was down here for the same reason, actually.”

He raises one eyebrow. “No! I mean, not about… You know. Not about Susan or Anthony; my own reasons. But, hey… Both great people…”

Frank Longbottom is looking at me funny. “It’s okay, Evans. I understood what you meant.”

I pick up the remote and look through the channels. I feel his eyes on me and I glance at him. His eyebrows are furrowed. “I sense frustration coming from you,” he says.

I roll my eyes. “I don’t need your help. I’m fine.”

Two minutes pass. I finally find something worth watching on television at three in the morning.

“Ugh. Garfield?” He leans his head back on the couch and stares at the ceiling.

“Do you have a problem with cats?”

“It’s an idiotic movie, and his voice reminds me of my father. How about a movie with substance, please?”

My eyes narrow just a bit. “There’s nothing else on.”

“Anything but Garfield.”

“It’s an okay movie to watch,” I confirm.

He snorts and lifts his head back up.

“There’s no point to it at all.” But before I can argue he takes the remote from me. He punches the crap out of the buttons until he finds a channel he likes.

“Now this is better.”

I look at him. “Rambo?”

“I’m a fan of Stallone,” he says simply.

I cross my arms. “Well.”

“Come on, movies like Rambo eat movies like Garfield for breakfast.”

I’m too stressed out to argue, so I watch the movie. During a commercial he asks me, “I’ve noticed some hostility from Finelly?”

“Don’t ask me Frank. Even I don’t know why she’s been like that lately.”

“You’re her best friend. You should know.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Not that I need to explain, but there are some things about Jessica that I haven’t figured out yet.” And so we drop the conversation.

But he keeps pestering me.

“How many songs do you have on your Ipod?”

“Why do you want to know?” I ask, a bit annoyed.

He shrugs. “I don’t have an Ipod,” I confess. “I’m saving up for one.”

“How about a cellular device?”

I stare blankly ahead like an idiot. “It’s called a cell phone, and no, I might be getting one for my sixteenth birthday.”

“Damn! You don’t even have a phone? Are you some sort of cave woman?”

I get a little pissed off that he’s comparing me to a very ancient, and very hairy, human being.

“No. I just don’t really get an allowance. And in my house, there are age limits for certain things.”

“That blows,” he concludes. I roll my eyes. “How about you?” I ask.

“What about me?”

“Do you have an Ipod? A phone?”

“Yes and yes.” He smiles back at me.

“Alright. You have a perfect life.” I cross my arms in envy.

“Don’t be immature, Lily Evans.”


Frank turns to look at me. “And no, my life is far from perfect. Just because I get things for my birthday and save my Christmas money does not mean that I get everything I want. An Ipod and a phone are the least of the necessities one needs in life to live incredulously.”

I stare at him like he’s an alien. “Do you hear yourself?”

“I have two working ears, yes.”

“The way you put things in perspective kind of creeps me out,” I spill.

“No one gets me; it’s fine,” Frank waves off. He yawns and doesn’t cover his mouth.

After a long pause I look over at him again. “Why is your life far from perfect?” I whisper, kind of embarrassed that I’m asking him about his life.

“My dad gets on my case about everything, and he’s pressuring me to be some sort of doctor for the wizard community. My parents are divorced. They have been since I was young- Before I even came to Hogwarts. And it sucks. My family doesn’t understand me at all, and kids here think I’m some psychic guru. Well, not everyone. Just the First Years. Some boy actually asked me to predict his future.”


They’re just First Years. They don’t even know the ways of Frank yet. But I can see how frustrating it would be for people to think of you as something that you’re not.

I ask him, “What about your mom?”


“You said your parents were divorced.”

“No, mothers are off limits,” he tells me.

For some reason, I feel relieved that this topic isn’t up for discussion.

And so we converse. But I only tell him the basics. I watch what I say, in hopes of not letting my personal life spill out. Especially how I’m all loopy from this James Potter fiasco. I tell him about Petunia, and Mrs. Jenkins, and how my dad gets on my case too. I don’t mention my mother. Frank and I talk more and more about how our lives are crap and we talk until the ending credits of Rambo. I salute to him as I walk back up to bed. I slip under my covers as the sun is starting to rise. I try to close my eyes and fall asleep, but I open my eyes in shock and sit up.

Did I just talk about my life outside of Hogwarts to Frank Longbottom at three in the morning?!

The Frank Longbottom that I have barely talked to until this year?

The Frank Longbottom that I found myself intimidated by?

The Frank Longbottom that brings out a certain side of Jessica Finelly that I have never seen before?

Did I really just watch Rambo in the Gryffindor common room?!

Author's Note: Boooo yaa! another chapter. and it's probably not my best, yet again. but hey, there are some thing i just have to write about! and even though you might find some things boring to read, because in my opinion this must have been a boring chapter, but i put some things in perspective because they are IMPORTANT and they're key elements for the story to make sense. so bear with me please :]

the next picture is Amos Diggory!

I wish he wasn't so hot xD
Since you can't see his body, picture him a bit more buff, if you will.

Chapter 12: Snogs And Poems
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a/n- AYE =]
I haven't gone anywhere, darlings. I've just been hiding away working on this story and future chapters to come. I worked hard on this chappie, so I hope you all enjoy this one! Have a happy reading.


I go outside for Study Hall today instead of staying inside the Great Hall. I’ve been doing that all week. Mainly because Emma suggests that this warm weather won’t last long, so I should soak up some of it before it disappears. But technically, people taking Muggle Studies will disappear from Study Hall before the sun even goes away. They still haven’t fixed the computer explosion incident, so we’re having Study Hall instead of Muggle Studies until they get new computers. Except Emma’s not in our class, she’s just ditching Professor Witkin’s Care of Magical Creatures class. I sit next to Emma and Jessica on one of the far off tables to the left of the court. I lay my bag on the table and get out my wallet. “Ugh.”

“What?” Jessica asks.

“ I was thinking of counting how much money I have during Study Hall so I could see if I had enough money to get my Ipod.”

“And you’re disappointed?” Emma questions.

“Yeah. I’m no where near getting an Ipod. Maybe a pair of gloves, a hair cut, and a bag of lemons.”

“Ha. Don’t worry, you’ll save up enough sooner or later.”

I give her a look that reads ‘come on, woman!’. “It’s not fair,” I tell Emma.

“Nothing’s fair. Trust me. You think it’s fair to go through another one of Professor Witkin’s speeches about bird dung and the effects it has on different breeds of skrewts? No. And so what did I do? I took an initiative.”

“An initiative that’s gonna land you in detention,” Jessica says.

Emma waves her off. “Professor Witkin is absolutely blind. He lost his glasses yesterday, so he just squints at what ever looks human and starts teaching. Actually, yesterday he was talking to a tree and was about to ask the tree its opinion on three legged creatures. Everyone snickered at him.”

I lay my head down on my bag while Emma and Jessica chat. This week’s been a bit weird. James has gone on another one of his ‘not talking to me’ scenes. He’s in the Great Hall right now with his friends. He kept glancing towards me a lot today, like he wanted to say something. I wanted to turn around and ask him what the hell his problem was, but I didn’t. I’m not going to lie; this is bothering me. And this sucks because it’s all I can think about. It’s like he thinks he can just stop talking to me, but yet he has the right to still look at me? It’s either both of them or none, buddy. Not that I would tolerate him any differently if he wasn’t acting like this, but still.

Sometimes when James goes a day without talking to me, it reminds me of Petunia. And it kind of hurts. The only time I thought about Petunia was when I was with Amos Diggory. But this is only because of the way things are right now, because before, I wouldn’t care if he would go a week without pestering me. But since it’s no longer like that, I don’t know how to take it. When Petunia found out I was a witch, she treated me like the gum under her shoe. Now, the guy that’s been trying to go out with me for years, has all of a sudden started ignoring me for no reason? At least Petunia had a reason. Well, a stupid reason. She’s a horrible person, and I thought we were going to be best friends forever. Petunia never really liked James. Actually, she never said anything about him. When ever I went to James’s house, she just told me to go have fun and she’d go to her room. I guess she just thought that James was just my friend. Petunia was understanding about it, but she really just didn’t care for him.

It’s ironic though. She was okay with me being best friends with James and her at the same time, but when I told her about me being a witch, it freaked her out. She worried about how other people would think of her with a witch for a sister, other than caring if she lost me to another friend. You’d think a young girl that finds out her sister knows how to cast spells would be amazed or entertained, or maybe even happy for her. But, no. She had to call me names because I wasn’t like everybody else. And now? She doesn’t care that I’m even at home, and she doesn’t send me letters. Why am I so nice to her still? I hate that I want her to accept me. I absolutely hate it. But that’s why there’s a bad side to coming to Hogwarts; I’m leaving knowing that only my dad will be missing me. But at the same time, there’s a good side; I don’t have to deal with Petunia and her snotty attitude, and I can let go of my anxiety to be nice to her, to just get away from all that.

That’s the reason I love this school so much. But now that this mute attitude towards me is going on, I feel as if I’m being treated the same as I would when I’d be at home… And that is NOT fair to me. This is MY school, and no one is going to be treating ME like Petunia treats me. If James wants to ignore me, then fine. I’m not going to worry about it anymore. I’ve had enough. One week has shown me how mature he is. He hasn’t even told me what problem he has with me. Why can’t James come up to me like a man so we can resolve what ever problem he has? But of course, he has to be the immature little boy and run away with what ever the hell he’s dealing with. And the fact that he’s acting this way towards just me is perplexing. It confuses me. It’s obvious that what ever he’s dealing with has to do with me and only me.

I don’t like the sound of that.

But this situation is just not necessary. What’s the point of him ignoring me if he’s mad at me? Is he mad me? Well, I’m assuming he is. I thought that people that are mad at each other don’t talk to each other. But I’m not mad at James; regardless of how much I can’t stand him. Unless he’s not mad. But then-

Oh, fuck it.

I close my eyes and just enjoy the sun and the quietness.

Sirius walks on the court yard and jumps up on top of the picnic table. He sits in front of Emma.


Quietness? What quietness?

I grumble and turn my head over to the other side of the table and look at him. He’s happy and giddy, like he’s just come out of a candy store. Emma rolls her eyes and Jessica glares at him.

“Leave.” Jessica points behind him.

He’s about to retort but he sees Emma and gives her a double take.

“You’re not in our class.”

She composes herself like a lady and folds her hands on top of the table. “No, I’m not,” she says, like a professor.

“Then why are you here?” Sirius blurts. He doesn’t say this with spite, but with interest. He raises his left eyebrow as he says this, and I wonder if he knows that.

“Don’t worry about me, Sirius Black. I, for one, am not a part of your fan club, so you can scratch that excuse off your list of why I’m here.”

Jessica and I burst into laughter. “One for Tebbon, Zero for Black,” I say.

“Oh, wow. Ha. Ha. Ha,” Sirius comments, acting like a girl with his hands in the air.

I chuckle and tell him, “You know that was funny.”

“HILARIOUS.” He has a mocking look on his face.

“But you’re still the reason why Lily and Jessica are here, though,” Emma finishes.

Sirius pretends to be innocent. “I have a lamentable lack of keeping to myself.”

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Frank Longbottom burst through one of the doors from the opposite side of the court yard. Frank whips out a cigarette and a lighter and leans against the stone wall. Emma, Sirius, Jessica and I all turn around to look at him. It’s silent for a couple seconds. Frank glances our way and gives us one of those manly nods. What do those nods mean? Does it mean ‘yes, I see you but I’m not moving’, or does it just mean ‘YO’? I wish Frank was easy to read. But before I try to decipher what a nod actually means, he mashes the half smoked cigarette against the wall and walks towards our table.

He walks to the table next to us and sits on the table top. Sirius and Frank are the only ones sitting on the table top. Is this some sort of guy thing?

He cracks his knuckles and turns his head to us. “Fellow comrades,” he greets.

Jessica folds her arms. “Longbottom.”

“How was detention?” He asks us with a smile, but his eyes stay on Jessica.

“How did you know about- ?” Emma asks but is cut of by the raising of Jessica’s hand.

"He knows everything."

“It’s true. And if you hand me a map, I can point to the exact location of Sydney. It’s a city in Australia.”

I don’t even turn to look at Jess. I put a hand over her mouth without even looking at her. Sirius finds this amusing and says, “I smell a smart retort.”

“Oh, shut up,” I whisper to him. “You don’t even understand the meaning of what we’re talking about.”

“I smell a smart arse,” Jessica corrects, as soon as I’m done whispering.

Emma smiles. Jessica gives Frank a satisfied smirk.

“If anything, I’m a cute smart arse. Like a kitten, I am.”

“You do realize you referred to yourself to being as cute as a kitten?” Sirius asks. He turns and looks at us with a puzzled expression. “Am I the only one that finds kittens to be snobby?”

Emma looks at him. “What are you taking about?”

“I think dogs are much better,” Sirius says simply.

Um, alright?

“How do you know if kittens are snobby? And if you do know if they are, you can’t stereotype and judge every other cat you see to be snobby. That’s just plain monotonous,” Jessica spats in one breath. She huffed that sentence out because if her irritation with Frank and took it out on Sirius, even though she’s kind of right about the whole cat thing. But Sirius doesn’t make sense anyway so it shouldn’t matter.

“Kittens are cute,” Frank states. “Finelly on the other hand…”

Jess’s mouth drops.

“I’m cuter than you!”

Frank laughs and gives a look that reads ‘dude, is she serious?’ to Sirius.

“Ha! Thy enemy of Frank Longbottom says thee is cute,” Sirius bellows with his arms open wide.

“Hey, Mercutio, before you damn us a plague on both our houses, can you sew your lips together?” Emma whips at Sirius.

Frank’s face is shocked. Jessica chuckles. Sirius furrows his eyebrows.

“Damn. Emma’s just whipping them out today, isn’t she?” Jessica laughs.

“Sorry to tell you this, mate, but you just got beat,” Frank adds.

“Twice in one day, might I add? I wouldn’t have to slam him if he wasn’t acting like someone who’s run away from a renaissance film,” Emma explains.

“She’s right. Why are you speaking like you’re in Shakespearian time?” I ask, trying not to grin.

“I don’t know. It’s like a disease. It comes and goes when it pleases. I can’t help it if I’m a handsome poet.” Sirius does that thing with his eyes like he’s gonna wink at you but looks devilishly naughty. It’s one of those marauder characteristics, if anything.

“Just because you talk like a moron doesn’t make you a poet,” Jessica rolls her eyes.

“It does too!”

“No. It doesn’t. Poets write poems. You, Black, lack the artistic ability to do such things,” Emma interferes.

“Sirius Black knows how to write poems,” he says in third person, pulling up his collar and fixing himself.

I bet you, you can’t even write a good poem and finish it by this evening,” she challenges.

He looks at Emma long and hard. “You’re on.” They shake hands.

“If I win, you have to wear a dunce cap on your head all next week, even during classes. And if you get called on by a teacher, you have to speak quotes from Shakespeare’s work.” She’s grinning like an idiot. I am too, kind of. Emma and Sirius betting for something this random? It’s bound to be a little bit entertaining.

“And if you win?” Frank points at Sirius.

“Don’t worry, I’ll think of something,” he says, eyeing Emma with his arms crossed. He’s standing now and his gaze is fierce but playful. Emma’s not moving or looking in a different direction; she’s as stubborn as the next person. Frank is amused. Jessica is impressed by their competitiveness and is probably taking mental notes. And I- well… I don’t really know what to think.

This is going to be an interesting bet.


At lunch I get my first letter from my father. Jessica gets her third from Jeff and her second from her parents.

Well, I feel loved.

While shoving chicken into my mouth, I rip the letter eagerly and scan it.

Dear Lillian,

I miss you so much! It feels so vacant in the house without you. Petunia’s always out with Vernon doing heaven knows what, and I’m mostly just by myself when ever I’m at home. Nothing much has been going on except I’ve been hanging out with Mr. Di Angeli, our new neighbor. You remember him, don’t you? He’s a nice man. Mr. Di Angeli and his family invited me to go to their casino a couple of times and my goodness it’s amazing!

It’s a HUGE building with velvet walls and cherry wood furnishings. Very luxurious. I felt a bit undressed the first time; I just wore what I always wear. Jeans and a jacket. No wonder Mr. Di Angeli is always in a suit. It’s a very upscale place! He went with me to buy my very first Armani suit a couple days ago. It was great. That man has impeccable style, my goodness.

Now, every time I go to his casino I feel like I belong there. His family and his employees are so welcoming, I feel like I’m part of the casino business! Mr. Di Angeli also got me in the habit of smoking cigars. He has a collection at his house next to his big wine cellar- huge cellar, by the way- and he was nice enough to give me a box. Actually, I’m smoking one right now. Bloody addictive, they are. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SMOKING, YOUNG LADY. I’m a grown man, and I’m your father. I know what’s best for you.

Miss you and love you,

Great. My father’s become a mob boss. Since when does he wear suits to anywhere other than upscale parties? My father is known for going to the cinema in his sweats. Oh, goodness, he’s smoking cigars. Bleh, he thinks I would want to smoke? Guess he doesn’t know me as well as I thought. Not only that, but he mentioned how huge CDD man’s wine cellar is, which definitely gives away that my father’s been wine tasting.

I roll my eyes at dad’s letter, and when I read it again it makes me kind of laugh. Only my father…

“What did your dad say, Lily?” asks Jessica as she takes a sip of water.

“Long story short, he’s become blood brothers with CDD.”

She raises her left eyebrow. “CDD? As in…”

“As in Creep DeNiro Dude,” I clarify.

“Hah!” She takes the letter from me.

“Let’s hope he doesn’t turn into an alcoholic with all that wine,” she says after she reads it.

I give her my ‘wtf’ face.

“Are you kidding?! He’s wearing SUITS. Since when-”

“Lily, calm down.” Jessica takes a hold of my face in her hands. My cheeks are squished like butter on a biscuit. I probably look like a chubby baby.

“He’s found a best friend. Everyone’s allowed to have a best friend,” she smiles. Damn, she’s pulling the dimples maneuver on me.

She lets go of my face and I say, “Alright, fine. I guess you’re right.”

“Look at the bright side, someone loves you!” She points to the end of the letter where my dad says he misses me and loves me.

“You’re a poop head,” I tell Jess.

She contemplates this for a couple seconds.

“Yeah, Basically.”


“What about you? Are you loved? Wait, never mind, that’s a stupid question.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m loved,” she waves off.

I take her letters and read for myself.

My mouth drops.

Jeff wrote her a poem! Ah!

I hate Jessica. Not fair. “That’s so cute, Jessica. You know, if Jeff keeps doing things like this I’m going to fall into a state of depression.” She smiles at me. “It’s nothing big, really. I appreciate the poem, and I agree; it’s cute. But you can’t just let yourself fall into a guy and lose face of reality, Lily. And that’s what I’m trying not to do. He’s a million miles away, so I can’t get wrapped up like I was before. I’m trying to have a good sixth year, you know. I like Jeff, of course. But I have to focus on my grades. It says so in the letter my parents wrote me, apparently. A boyfriend isn’t everything, too, though. Hearing you beg for a man is annoying me to bits,” she chuckles.

I read the letter from her mom and dad. “Well, at least they’re not telling you to break up with him. They’re just reminding you to keep your grades up too.”

“Yeah. I know. But sometimes I feel like they’re rooting for this relationship to fail.”

“Don’t worry,” I say, patting her shoulder. “They’re not rooting for it to fail; they just don’t want you to lose yourself over a guy. Especially a muggle. He’s in Australia! Don’t forget that.”

“It sucks liking someone who’s on another continent,” she says in realization.

“I would say yes to that statement, but I’ve never experienced a relationship with someone in Australia. But, I’ll agree with you anyway,” I smile.


Ancient Runes equals boring.

We’re deciphering color coded gypsy tags. No idea what they are. But apparently they’re related to Ancient Runes. Our professor has assigned us partners, and mine is Remus.

We don’t talk until half way through our assignment.

“So, Lily, how’s your week coming along?” he asks.

I want to yell at him about everything.





“It’s been spectacular.”

“Really?” Remus asks disbelievingly.

“Why? Should it not be?” I raise my eyebrows as I question him.

“Oh. Well- I don’t know. It just seemed like you were dealing with some demons the past couple of days.”

“More like internal demons.”

“Ah. The guys and I have been dealing with some of those as well.”

“Care to elaborate on that subject?”

“That’s only if you elaborate first,” Remus tilts his head forward. Hey, he did it just like James does- Ah, shit.

“Ha. I don’t think so.” I bury my head into my assignment.

“Okay, then,” Remus says with no interest. We’ve ended the conversation and I feel like he knows something I don’t.

“You know something I don’t know.”

I might as well be blunt.

“There are many things I know that you don’t know.”

I give him a kind of bitchy look. “Don’t give me that, Remus. Get to the point. I know that you’re hiding something from me, and I want to know what it is.”

He purses his lips like he doesn’t know what to do. “Look, just talk to him yourself, okay? I have nothing to do with this.” I blink for a second or two. The fact that Remus knew exactly what I was talking about scared me. He knew it was James that I was talking about? And he’s not telling me?!

“You’re making me angry,” I say. For some reason, I become really edgy, and I kind of feel bad because I’ve never talked to Remus like this before.

Meh, who cares?

I welcome knew traditions.

“Lily. Leave me out of this, please. He’ll be in the common room after classes end. He usually snoozes on the couch until-”

“I know what he does after classes. I knew him since before Hogwarts,” I cut in. I’m not sure why this is making me so angry, but I can’t stop it.

“Okay, Fine. You can talk to him yourself, alright?”

I grunt and get back to work.



I throw my stuff down on my bed and undress. I put on some jeans and a McFly shirt. You didn’t think I forgot about my Danny Jones, did you?

I go and look for James in the common room, but he’s not there. I go back up to my room, wait ten minutes, and then go back down again. I need to see him as soon as possible. I’m going to succumb to a straight jacket if I don’t get this ‘thing’ resolved with him, what ever it is.

Ah! He’s not there. Damn him.

I bang on the door of the Sixth Year’s boys’ dormitory. Alex Peterson answers with a tiring expression, like he just woke up from a nap. I look at his clothes. He’s in his pajamas.


“Crap. I mean- sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you from your nap. I was just checking to see if Remus was in here, or James, rather,” I say in one breath. “Did he come up here? Do you know?”

“No, actually. The last time I saw him was in the hallway after Defense Against the Dark Arts. He’s probably still around in his uniform somewhere.”

I swear I just saw a smirk on his face, but it disappeared before he spoke.

“Okay, then. Alrighty. Thanks for telling me. Bye.” I run down the stair case like a speeding go-cart. That was excruciatingly embarrassing. I head to the DADA classroom in the hopes of bumping into James, or one of the marauders.

I circle the entire floor and there’s no trace of him. NO! He has to be around here somewhere. Why would he be going on a different floor? The DADA classroom is on our common room floor. That was his last class. Where could he be? He wouldn’t be at the library because… Well, come on. And he can’t be in the Great Hall or down in the kitchens, we had lunch not too long ago. I pass a closet with a dark, maybe even black, colored door. This would be the fourth time I’ve passed it. This closet has witnessed my pathetic-ness, and I feel like it’s mocking me, just standing there. All quiet.

I’ve gone bonkers.

That’s what I think of myself, at least, until the closet door shudders suddenly. I take a step back. Did I just witness that? It’s like someone bumped into the other side of the door.

Hm. Let’s open it, shall we?

I take the knob in my hands and turn it.

What I witness makes me want to gag.

“Ugh,” I say in disgust. James’s tie is loose and his clothes are disheveled and I don’t know what to think. I get the biggest urge to just kick him, right there, in his balls. But I don’t. I’m filled with anger. And I’m too upset and my mind is too fucked up to make any movements.

I find James and Leslie Toudren, the richest girl in our year, snogging like hogs. Leslie turns to me like she’s been caught by a teacher. She probably doesn’t care that she’s snogging James, or that I’m there. She’s not a snobby person at all, but sometimes she can be bitchy. And I’m sure that if she found out James was going out with someone she never would have done this, but she knows that James has been chasing me for years, and that I always reject him. So really, she’s got nothing to hide. But him, on the other hand…

“Lily-” James starts, but I just walk away. My brain might be going haywire but at least my legs are working. I quicken my pace and don’t look back. I don’t know if he’s running after me or if he’s stopped walking or if he’s back snogging with Leslie. Because I don’t care. I don’t care at all.

Let the games begin…

I get a flashback from detention.

He wants a game, now does he? Well, I’ll give him one.

Mhm ;]
Lily's a bit feisty.

This chapter's going to have Frank Longbottom's picture everyone! Yay! Gather 'round...

Ah. This kid is just gorgeous =D
Hey, I can't help it if this is what I imagine him to look like lol.
I have no idea who he is. Another one of those cute models, I recken.

Chapter 13: Rats, Bunnies, And Cottages In The Yonder
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A/N- LOVELY PEOPLE! YAY! I have finished the next insallement of dear Lily's wonderful life! This chapter was really fun to write and I hope you like it. Oh, and I'd like to clear up some questions about my updates: I know that you've notice I've been updating more often than I was before. Sometimes I could only update once a couple months! And I've really improved since then.

I would ask you all to please refrain from asking me if I can update as quickly as I can, because I already am. I appreciate all the great comments and reviews, I really do! And I also understand that you really want me to submit chapters quickly, but the fastest I can do is about one chapter every two weeks or so. So please, don't ask me to update faster than that, because I just simply can't. There are not enough hours in the day for me to do so.

Thank you all for supporting this story :]
You guys are honestly what keep me going!



The fury inside me could light every torch in Hogwarts. I feel so many emotions all at once. And what pains me the most is that I don’t know why I feel this way. Why should I care? Can’t I get over it? Why do I have to get hot and bothered? I just don’t know anymore. I slam the door to the common room and Remus notices me huffing.




“Not now, Remus.” I hold up a hand to silence him as I walk towards the stairs. He put his book down and jumps over the couch to me.


“Wait, hold on.” He stands in front me and gives me a nudge to stop walking. Does he not know the manners of etiquette? Ladies go first, and you do not block women! If I was in the eighteenth century, he’d get a little ass whooping for that.


I have no idea where that came from.


“Did you talk to him?”


I give him my ‘wtf’ face.


“Alright, you obviously seem pissed.”


“NO. REALLY?” I say sarcastically.


“So, that means you talked to Prongs, right? You’re always pissy around him.”


“I am not always ‘pissy’ around him,” I clarify. Pissy? Is that even a word?


He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. What did you say to him?”


I give him my questioning look with my quirky eyebrow. “Why are you so interested?”


“Oh, well, I just- I wanted to-”


“Make sure that you weren’t responsible for any of the things I said?”


Remus opens and closes his mouth a couple times. He looks at the floor with his head hanging as he surrenders. “Yes,” he mumbles.


I give him a little slap on the cheek. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to get his attention. “I didn’t name drop. Not that I had a chance; I didn’t talk to him.”


He pops his head up. “What?! You didn’t sort out anything with him? Then why do you look like you wanna throw someone at the plasma television?”


“Well, Remus. One finds it hard to talk to someone who’s too busy snogging someone else.”


“Are you kidding me?” he grumbles as he suffocates his entire face with his hands. I didn’t know this stressed him out so much…


“No. Stop. You’re going rip your cheeks off.”


He pulls his hands further down his face so his eyes pop up from the tip of his fingers. He looks like an alien.


“That’s attractive.”


“Lily. You don’t understand. He’s an idiot-”


“-Ha!” I throw my hands up.


“And I know that you and James are not so good right now but for my sake, and for the marauders’ sake, you two need to talk. I’m tired of hearing him complain and moan, and I’m tired of seeing him act so SILENT at the same time! I feel like he’s switching his personality everyday. You have no idea how he’s been acting.”


I contort my face in rage as I almost lunge at Remus, but he quickly fixes his words.


“I MEAN! I MEAN- around you, it’s different. But when you’ve hung around the same person for so many years, you tend to know what they’re like, do you not!?”


I huff.


“And…” he continues, “We’re all sick of how out of it he is. All we know is that this whole problem has nothing to do with us; you and James need to figure this out. If not, he’s going to keep acting like someone we don’t know. It’s so weird, Lily. Something caused this. Peter and Sirius haven’t noticed it; that he’s like this because it’s a reaction to something. Heaven knows my best brothers aren’t too smart-”


“-That’s an understatement…” He pauses and gives me a look as if he’s telling me to behave.


“Okay, go on. Go on. I won’t interrupt,” I say.


“Wormtail and Padfoot just think that he’s going through some sort of phase or he’s nervous about something or- Okay, look. They don’t think this is the aftermath of something that happened, okay? Just the total opposite. But there’s no doubt in MY mind that something struck him, or the both of you, hard in the gut. And he’s either rebelling or trying to ease his soul with some demented form of therapy.”




I cross my arms. “So I guess that I’m not the only one suffering from this?” I question amusingly.


“Trust me, Lily. We’re his boys. If he doesn’t share this with us, then something is definitely wrong. Only you and James can work this out. Now I’m sorry that he was snogging someone when you found him, but this is up to you. If he doesn’t realize what he’s doing is socially disturbing to all of us, then he won’t come around and face you. So, I say that you should make him face you,” he tells me, with emphasis on the last for words.


I smirk. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”






“Then why did you barge in here and try to hurry up to your room?”


“For one, I didn’t really feel like explaining my pissed off situation to anyone, but I guess you changed that around to your liking.”


“Er, sorry.” He scratches his head.


“And two, I was thinking of taking charge of this ‘situation’ up in my room,” I say, using my air quotes. “My best friend and I are very good in that department, don’t you agree?”


For a split second I see his cheeks redden. But he shakes it off and asks me, “So, what will you be doing in your room now that I’ve given you some kind of background support for this?”


I smile and say, “Plotting.”





“I’m going to pretend like nothing happened,” I conclude.


Jessica looks at me like I’m mad. She crosses her legs on her bed. “You’re not letting him off that easy…” she tells me forcefully.


“No, Jessica, that’s the thing. He won’t be expecting it. Potter’s going to wait for me to yell at him, or explode a fit of rage in his face the next time I see him. I’ll give him something like the silent treatment. He wanted to ignore me? Hah. Fine. He had his week. Now it’s my chance to mess with his head. When he asks me something, I’ll answer calmly-”


Jessica chucks a shoe at my face.


“Shut up and listen,” she says. “I don’t know why the hell you’ve become so set on messing with his head when we could be MESSING WITH HIS FACE.” She opens her hands wide as if her solution is the most obvious.


“I know, I know. But just hear me out, okay?”


She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.


“He’s not going to know how to react to this, and in a way, he’ll be acting like a stranger in his own skin. This is what I had to go through these past several days, and now he’s going to know what it feels like.”


I stare at Jessica for a couple minutes.

“Well… I guess I understand. And yes, I agree that he’ll have his lesson. But come on, I wanna tackle him!”


“… Is there a reason why you’ve become so violent?”


“Frank Longbottom has ruined my day,” she concludes.


“I don’t understand why you feel so threatened by him,” I take a seat next to her.




She huffs and looks forward.


“Alright… Well you seem to find him annoying.”


“Yes, I find him annoying. Not threatening. He’s not exactly scary,” Jessica says.


“But you’ve never acted this way before. Can you please tell me why this hostility has appeared all of a sudden?”


She pouts at me. “I don’t know.”


I blink. “What?”


“I have no idea, Lily! It’s just that every single time I see him I just wanna shove my book up-”


“Okay, okay!” I put my hands up, signaling her to stop.


She covers her face. “You’re not the only one whose head is being messed with. I have a hated annoyance with someone I haven’t even had as much as a conversation with for the past six years!” Jessica falls back on her pillow.


“Everyone’s too damn frustrated,” I conclude, putting my fingers to my temple.







During dinner, Frank walks passed us to use the bathroom, and Jessica gives him a look. They have a little staring contest until he’s out the doors of the Great Hall. I laugh at this. Jess looks at me.


“This is not funny,” she says.


“Mhm…” I shove more green beans into my mouth.


She holds her head up with her arm. “I’m going to figure this out, don’t you worry. Man, this is so annoying…”


“Maybe you like him,” I say, reaching for the peas.


“Hah! As if. I am not attracted to Frank,” she responds, making puking noises.


I roll my eyes. “Maturity, please.”


“You always ask for maturity when you’re talking to me.”


“I know,” I laugh.


“Hey, I can be mature! I just choose not too.”


“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, have some hummus.”


“Stop trying to feed me.”


“You didn’t eat anything for lunch! Come on, now. You have to be hungry.”


“I’m not hungry at all, actually,” she says, shrugging her shoulders.


“That’s impossible.”


“I have too many things to worry about. Like why I can’t find Frank to be anything more than irritating.”


“But haven’t you been worrying about that since our first encounter with him this school year? You just told me about this problem. How can that possibly take your hunger away?”


“Now that I told you about this whole weird Frank situation, I feel more open. But it’s kind of just making me more nervous. I have no idea why. I mean, what’s there to be nervous about? My mind is just on fixing things right now, in my brain, up here,” she pokes her forehead a couple of times. “If I don’t figure this out quickly I’m going to starve. Or worse, I’m going to turn into you.”


I stare blankly at her.


“Just kidding,” Jess smiles. She shoulder hugs me.




_four hours later_


“Yes! Friday night!” Peter bellows as he comes through the common room. He stops and puts his arms down from his chant as he sees me. It soon becomes awkward and he walks away.


So I guess you could say this is the anniversary of me destroying a Gryffindor party.


I’m going to have to learn to deal with the Fridays to come because I hope people won’t give me looks every time they see me on the weekend. The last thing I want to do is make it awkward for everyone. Peter Pettigrew has been one of many people that have stopped to look at me awkwardly today. As far as I know, there are no parties. So no worries, Hogwarts students. Lily, the worst partier ever, will not be crashing anything. I felt so out of place once, and I’m not planning on doing it again. And don’t worry, Amos Diggory. I might not have run into you yet, but when I do, I’m going to hurt you.


No, really. I’m going to give him a good yelling if I see him. Especially if he doesn’t apologize! That bastard. My life has become a bit more screwed up, do you not agree? I think I’ve become a bit bitchy. I don’t know. Do you think I have? Meh.


Enough talk about bad memories…


I’ve decided that I’m going to try and get a job. I know, I know. I’m at school, and there’s no way I can go out of this building for an occupation. But I was thinking that for extra money, I could work at Hogsmeade. When we’re allowed to go down to Hogsmeade later in the year I could go out for something! I could look for a job that’s only on Saturdays. I’m sure there are stores and boutiques that can use an extra hand when students come around their town.


“I’ve heard a lot of things today.”


Frank sits next to me on the couch.


“Yeah? Like what?” I say with fake interest.


“I’ll spare you the details, but some of them were interesting.”


“I can only guess what they were about.”


“I’m sorry for what happened. That was honestly one situation I heard about that I never really knew about. People were gossiping about it. And I thought, what really went down? But I never really knew.”


“I’m surprised. You usually know everything and just keep your mouth shut.”


“Yeah, I know. Well there were a lot of different stories I found out about today.”


“Let me set things straight before you go on: Amos Diggory tried to have his way with me, and he got me drunk. Before anything happened, the marauders came and helped me out. Jessica was comforting me. I don’t know if Diggory even liked me the whole time,” I conclude.


After a long minute he says something. “I’m sorry for that. If I was there, or if I knew anything about it, I would have done something to make him pay.”


I can’t help but smile. “I never expected you to be so loyal.” I’m shocked at the sincerity in his voice. I guess I can call him a friend now?


He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m always loyal,” he smiles. “After all that stuff I heard today, I feel like throwing him off the balcony in the Astronomy Tower.”




“I know. What ever reason he had to ask me out, the world will never know. He should have known that I’m not like the other girls he’s gone out with. I can only imagine the stories people told you today, based on what they saw of that Diggory/Potter fight.”


“Some people were even saying Diggory went out with you just to make James jealous.”


I feel like putting my head between my knees.


“I don’t know what to think, Frank. My life was never like this. It was weird, yes, but never this nerve racking. Does everybody’s life turn upside down during Sixth Year?”

“Probably.” He scratches his head and makes his hair stand up on end. Woah, just like Ja- GOD DAMN IT.


Before I know it, Frank and I talk for the next hour. That is, until Sirius comes down stairs and starts yelling for Emma Tebbon with Peter hot on his tail.


“Sirius, don’t!”


“My dearest Peter, you must understand-”




“- I have transformed into my poetic twin. I will rise above!” He bellows.


Peter looks at him with his mouth hanging open and eyebrows meshed together.


“Above WHAT?”


“I don’t know. What ever poets rise above, Wormtail.”


Peter sighs. “I heard your poem Sirius, and trust me; you don’t wanna say it to any human, animal, or magical creature.”


“Ha! I don’t think so. My poem is a work of art. Don’t fool yourself, Peter. You loved it. You almost cried.”


“I was going to cry for a different reason, Sirius.”


“Whatever, it’s too late now,” he says and waves off Peter. “I didn’t memorize this whole poem for nothing.”


“Fine! I just hope you don’t come crying to me when you get slapped.” Peter throws his hands in the air and stalks off.


Emma walks down the girls’ stairway wearing a hooded sweatshirt and one of the many pairs of dark jeans she owns. She sees Sirius and rolls her eyes.


“Some one said you were screaming for me?”


Out of no where, Sirius bursts out laughing. Oh, God.


He’s such a stupid immature hormonally crazed pervert.


Emma glares at him and crosses her arms. A pink tint finds its way to her cheeks. I can tell she is starting to get mad. “Try not to be a total teenage dog,” she snaps.


This just makes him laugh more. Emma takes off her left shoe, getting ready to chuck it at his head, when Sirius controls himself and chuckles a bit.


He puts his hands up as if to tell her to not do anything. “Okay, okay. Sorry. I couldn’t help it. You’ve got to admit it was funny.”


“Imbecile,” Emma mutters.


“Anyway, I wanted to remind you of our bet, in case you had forgotten.”


“Oh, I didn’t forget. I just wanted to give you as much time as possible. I wanted to be generous. I mean I don’t wanna feel bad when you’ll be wearing that dunce cap on your head all next week. It’s not forgetfulness, Black. It’s sincerity. I have a heart you know.”


He raises one eyebrow. “How sweet of you,” Sirius says disbelievingly.


She fakes a smile in response.


“Well, I don’t need anymore time. I have created my poem, and I will woo everyone in this room very soon. My darkness has come!”


“…What darkness?” Emma asks, perplexed.


Sirius’s face goes blank as he ponders about what he just said.


“I don’t know,” he responds.


“Are you serious?” I ask.


Sirius turns to me and tells me, “Yes, I am. That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”


I turn back around on the couch and rest my head on my hand.

I’m not going to deal with him. I’m just going to sit here and pretend he didn’t take stupid pills this morning…


“This is gonna be one hell of an entertaining bet,” Frank says, smirking.


I look at him with pity.


“Why do things like this happen?”


Frank is amused. “We’re Gryffindor kids. Like we have a choice…”


We look back at them. They’re fighting.


Of course.




“Sirius Black! Stop that this instant! I don’t remember telling you that you had to have an audience.”


Everyone turns their attention to Sirius. Emma looks absolutely embarrassed. For a Friday night, there are a lot of people here in the common room. Half of them are from Ravenclaw and there’s a corner near the window that have some people from Hufflepuff. If Sirius does what I think he’s going to do, he’s not only going to embarrass himself, but he’s going to give the other Houses a reason to tease Emma.




“Oh, get ON with it!” Emma throws her hands in the air.


Sirius glares at her for a split second before he clears his throat loudly.


I am here, you are there…” Sirius starts.


Very original.


And I find, that a bear…


Sweet biscuits.


An animal, not the other kind of bear…


At this point I’m covering my face with a pillow. Kill me now. “As if there’s any other kind,” I hear Frank mumble. “I think he’s talking about the word bare,” I muffle behind my pillow. Frank chuckles. Sirius takes dramatic pauses between what I think are his poetic stanzas.


Resembles the fierceness in you; which is FUNNY, because you don’t look like a bear. Oh look, it is SUNNY!” Sirius points out the window.


It’s dark out.


The blinding light of the sun, makes me want to run. But then I say, HEY! And I start to think, what kind of animal are you exact-LAY?


Is this what he calls ‘rhyming’? Just a question.


I ponder, out through the yonder” – he guides with his hands – “Through the fields of grain, frolicking, as if I’m in the rain…


Sirius jumps around like a deer.


I’m afraid to watch this. “Tell me what happens, Frank.” I bury my entire face in the pillow.


“Hah, okay.”


I hear thumps on the ground coming from Sirius’s prances.


“He just dug in his pocket and took out a yellow rain hat. He’s fastening it to his head,” Frank tells me.


And then I trip and land on a beet. It hurts like a rat squished under a mouse trap by its feet!”


“Peter just got really mad. He’s fuming.”


“Why?” I ask Frank.


“I dunno.”


I pick up the bloody beet, and cook it with meat. When I take my first bite, I see clearly…Finally! You are the rabbit, which eats the beat. I have taken away your FOOD, which has put you in really bad MOOD because now you’re going to starve…” He rushes out the last sentence to keep up with the rhythm of his poem.


I feel bad, because I know you are mad. I see you, the rabbit, outside my bushes of daisies outside my cottage in the yonder, and you ponder. There is another beet on the ground, which I pick up because it is something I have found. I give it to YOU, and you morph out of the BLUE…


“Is this poem ever going to end?” I grumble.


Into the princess inside of YOU! I think to myself, if I was Romeo, would you be my Juliet!?




“He’s moving towards her. I’m honestly going to burst out in laughter if he tries to pounce…” Frank says.


This time I take my head out of the pillow and chuck it behind me. I hear somebody say, “Ow! It poked me in the eye!” behind me, but I’m too concentrated on Emma and Sirius to care. Emma’s face is drained from all emotion, and her mouth is practically falling down to her knees.


I believe, truly believe, that you should give me something in return. I know the SIN that lies WITHIN; I have written my poem, which means I WIN. My pet, this is the last part of the bet…


And without a final word relating to rats, bunnies, and cottages in the yonder, Sirius takes off his rain hat in lightening speed (and whips it at me, by the way) and puts his arms around Emma… And plants a passionate kiss right on her lips.

AHAHAHA! yes! It was inevitable xD

Yours, truly...

Emma Tebbon =]

Chapter 14: Midnight Mischief, Part One
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Author's Note- wow. I am so sorry for not updating until a month later! I know...It's bad. But I have been so stressed out.... Please forgive me! :] I wrote this chapter just for you! Oh, and after you read my new chapter and forgive me...*teehee* go over to my page, cuz guess what?

I HAVE A " MEET THE AUTHOR " PAGE! Ha! I'm so excited ^_^

Have a good reading! And soooo sorry for the long wait!

It felt like time stopped.

The entire room went quiet.

Here I am, my mouth agape, staring (along with some of Hogwarts) at Emma and Sirius.

Dear me, they’re snogging!

This kiss lasts for about 10 seconds, even though I think the world has gone in slow motion and it feels like a full minute. Before we know it, Emma pushes Sirius off of her and she dashes like a gazelle into the girls’ dormitory. She ran so fast that I didn’t even see the facial expression she wore! But Sirius, well…

He just stands there, with an intelligent smirk on his face, his eyes dazed, completely in awe of what he just did. It’s easy to see that Sirius Black is proud of himself. He turns around to the shocked audience and says, “Carry on, Lovelies! Carry on…”

With a salute and a collar pop, he makes his way out of the common room door.

I guess he’s successfully conquered his mission?

I speak to Frank, my eyes looking forward in front of me, “Er, what was that?”

Through my peripheral vision, I see that Frank raises an eyebrow and smirks at me. I turn to face him. “What?” I ask.

“Sirius has been interested in her for a while now.”

I throw my arms in the air. “How the hell could I have known that, Frank?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Oh, of course. What, with all that talk of dunce caps and how stupid Emma says Sirius is how could I completely miss the obvious attraction?”

Frank rolls his eyes.

“How do I explain this?”

He tries to show me through weird hand movements, and for some strange reason, I can understand him.

“Opposites attract? All the insults and smirks, where signs of hidden affection? How the frick!?”

“It’s true,” he says, nodding his head.

“So all that tension and annoyance was…”

“Sexual tension. Yep.”

I’m dumbfounded. “But- how?”

“I don’t know. But I could sense it when Sirius and Emma made the bet. Well, I could at least feel that Sirius was interested in her. There were some very obvious signs that I read, but I won’t go into that.”

“Okay…” I’m weirded out right now.

Sirius likes Emma? And Emma likes Sirius…maybe?

"I could tell that by the way Emma ran off, she was embarrassed and she definitely wasn’t expecting anything like that to happen. But she’ll be shy about saying how much she likes him."

I stare at him for a couple seconds.

“You should be a psychologist…. Or a therapist. I haven’t decided yet.”

“I know. I’m brilliant.” He rests his hands behind his head.

So much for a normal Friday.


The weekend passed by quickly, but quietly. Jessica and I tried talking to Emma, but as soon as she saw us from a distance, she’d get red in the face and start sprinting in the other direction. That girl is a mystery. I mainly spent my time with Jessica and Frank, but not at the same time. Heaven knows…

James tried to start up a conversation with me the day after I caught him snogging Leslie Toudren, but I didn’t respond. His sentence started with, “I can explain…” but I just told him he had nothing to explain. I simply closed the book I was reading and told him with a calm face that I didn’t care. James looked a bit flustered for words and didn’t know what to say. This result sent a big bucket of satisfaction my way, and for once, I felt more powerful than him. He’s going to get a taste of his own medicine, and that was his first dose.


Other than that, I haven’t had any confrontations with him. Besides the minor drawbacks, it was a peaceful weekend. Well, until now.

“Lily,” he calls.

I’m face to face with Amos Diggory. I was walking to Sunday dinner in the Great Hall, but he go to me first. I glare at him, my face hard. I don’t want to talk to him now. I know I said that I would yell at him, but not at this moment. The past couple of days have gone through with ease, and I don’t wanna ruin it now. I’ll just have to tackle him later.

“I have better things to do than talk to you,” I tell him. “So, if you don’t mind-”

He grabs my arm so I can’t walk off. “Just for a minute, okay?” he asks impatiently.

I cross my arms and wait for him to speak.

“Alright, look. I didn’t expect what happened to actually happen. I was drunk. And you were, too. I had to hear people gossip about me all week, and now I’m sick of it. I thought that if I just didn’t run into you or be seen with you they would die down. And they are a little bit, but what the hell, Lily? I didn’t know you went around telling people your business. Not only was I the center of gossip, but now there are stories going around about how it happened, why I asked you out, who was the cause of your crying… I mean honestly, how many people did you pay to start that shit?”

My jaw drops. “Excuse me?”

I can’t take this. All of a sudden, everything that happened that night flashes before my eyes in a hazy blur. I feel like I wanna cry.

No. I can't give him that satisfaction.

“You heard me. There were already enough people talking about it in general, but now all these questions are being pummeled in my direction. I know you’re the cause of this. What’s your problem?”

Anger takes the best of me as I register what he says slowly in my mind.

“MY PROBLEM? Are you suffering from hallucinations? What ever happened between you and me, whether you remember it or not, was your fault. And come to think of it, I don’t remember you drinking at all that night. All I could remember was you giving me drink after drink. You might have had a couple sips of whiskey, but you were trying to get me smashed. And it worked. You started this drama, NOT ME. So what ever stories or theories or gossip gets thrown your way, you deserve it!”

“Hah! So it was my fault, was it? You were going on a date with me, Amos Diggory, one of the most popular Hufflepuff guys. Lily, you made yourself look appealing to me. You were asking for it.”

Fury was traveling through my entire body.

“I was not asking for it,” I say in a low husky voice.

“Don’t be silly, you were begging me to come on to you. All I did was take charge, but I guess you were trying to start something you couldn’t finish. YOU said yes to my date. YOU danced with me. YOU gave off the vibe you were interested in me. Apparently you were just as scared as I thought you were. From the beginning I knew you weren’t an experienced kinda girl, but I didn’t think you would chicken out.”

Silence peers over us for a while.

“You bastard.”

He smirks. “Excuse me? I have a father, thank you.” Diggory crosses his arms. “I was friends with you, Lily. And I knew you liked me. It was written all over your face. If you weren’t such a tease-”

I whip my arms up, ready to tell him off.

“Oh, no you DIDN’T!”

I get close enough to him so that we are about three inches from each other.

“I was not a tease. If anything, I was a reminder of what you couldn’t get. You were taking advantage of me; I was something you couldn’t have. You weren’t in love with me. You weren’t in like with me. Mostly, you were in lust with me. But I don’t even know if that’s the right word. Lust in the sense that you thought you could get what ever the hell you wanted, because you were used to that. Newsflash, I’m not your average girl. So please, GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!”

“What’s the problem here?” I hear someone ask behind me. I sigh in relief to see that it’s Remus. It’s not who I would have expected at a time like this, but I’m grateful anyway. He walks over to me and gives Amos Diggory a face that reads ‘go on, try to start something’.

“I wasn’t that into you, anyway. If anything, I wanted to show James Potter off.” He’s speaking only to me, but he’s talking loud enough for Remus to hear. I look away, affected by Diggory’s words. Frank was right. Those rumors he heard. He asked me out to make James jealous. And James, he was right too. In the beginning… Gosh, I was so foolish.

Remus stares straight into his eyes. “Leave, Diggory. You have no business troubling Lily. Unless you want another black eye from another marauder, I suggest you to find someone else to bother.”

“Whatever,” he concludes. “I’m not going to deal with you stupid Gryffindors.”

He turns to walk, and I say, “As if you could ever handle us.” Remus gives me a lopsided grin. Thank goodness for Remus Lupin. If he didn’t show up, who knows how deep the argument could have gotten.

Amos stops walking but doesn’t turn around. “For as far as I got with you, I think I handled you quite well.”


I arrive late to dinner and sit next to Jessica, and jab my fork into pork. My mind is fresh from the argument, and I can’t help but feel like vomiting when I think about the last thing Diggory said. On the way here, Remus said not to worry about it. In a way, he comforted me. Kind of like a brother. I don’t think Remus will tell anyone, but Amos Diggory on the other hand…

Well, let’s hope he doesn’t say anything.

“What’s up with the stabbing?” she asks. Of course, I tell her.

She’s sustaining herself from throwing the table over.

“I’m just gonna let it go, okay? I’m done with him.” I say this as calmly as I can, but I feel like my throat is closing up. I don’t know if it’s because I feel like crying, or if it’s because I just can’t get over the whole Diggory situation in general and I can’t breathe.

Jessica stares at me and says, “I hope he falls down a nice set of stairs, and then gets stung by killer bees. A while bunch of them.”

I pat her shoulder and we remain eating our meal. I give a smile and a nod to Remus a few seats down and he nods back. I’m starting to think that no matter how much your life sucks, your friends are always around to make things a little bit better. I’m not going to lie, though. I do feel icky. I hate Amos Diggory. And to think I liked that low life…

“You need to take your mind off of this. Lily, are you listening?”

I tear my gaze away from my plate. “Hm? Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“You always end up being pulled and tugged in all different directions. You need to relax and have a day off from all this hectic mess. Don’t you think you deserve a night of relaxation? Peace? Quiet?”

I ponder. “Yeah, that would be nice. Jessica, why are you smirking?” I raise my eyebrow at her.

“We should have a girls’ night,” she says, but something in her eyes tells me there’s more to what she’s saying.

“When?” I ask.

“I don’t know, next weekend. Yeah? You, Emma, and I. I’m sure Emma will want to… If only we could get a hold of her we could ask her. What is she running away from?”

“I don’t think she wants to explain her actions, even though it was all Sirius’s doing, Jess. She doesn’t want to be confronted. Especially us, because we might tell her a harsh reality she wouldn’t want to hear,” I explain.

“Like what?”

“There are only two choices, says Frank Longbottom; he explained all this to me earlier.”

Jessica rolls her eyes at his name while I continue. “She embarrassed about snogging Sirius because she likes him, a lot. And she only just realized this now, because before she thought Sirius was the Father of Dunce. But after the poem, everything changed. Emma’s afraid we’ll mock her because she didn’t like Sirius and now all of a sudden he kisses her. She’s gonna think we will treat her different because we think she’s a hypocrite, or something like that.”

“And the other choice is…?”

I sigh. “She doesn’t know she likes Sirius. Emma has confused feelings and if we approach her we are going to tell her that we know she likes him. And she doesn’t want to like Sirius. She’s trying to pretend the feelings aren’t there. Jess, if you and I put it in perspective for her she wouldn’t be able to take it. It’s like she’s in denial.”

“So you’re saying… Either way, she likes Sirius Black?”


“I never thought one of us would fall for a marauder. I mean I could understand you-”

I throw a black eyed pea at her. She smiles. “Just kidding.”


“But seriously. We have to do something. Emma is what you would call a classy lady. Enough boy problems with me, I can deal with those later. But Emma… She needs help,” I giggle.

“Ha, she wouldn’t be able to take it, poor girl. So what is it that Frank said to you?”

“The two options were: Emma likes Sirius and is embarrassed about it, or Emma thinks she likes Sirius but doesn’t want to like him.”

“But neither of them really makes any sense. They both distribute the same thought, don’t they?”

“I know it’s confusing, but it made sense when Frank said it.” I shrug.

I glance forward a little bit and see the marauders whispering to each other. I furrow my eyebrows. They rarely share deep thoughts like that at the dinner table.

“Why don’t we have the girls’ night next week?”

My eye shift back to Jessica but I still feel kinda of weird from looking at the marauders. I feel like those boys have passed on their mischief and found its way in my brain, because the next thing I say shocks even me.

“No, let’s have it tonight, right at midnight.”

I smirk as I say this and Jessica looks quirky. “Okay, then, Ms. Daring. I’ll try to talk to Jessica and get her to at least come to the girls’ night. Then we can attack her with questions.”

I get an adrenaline rush. Is it because I’m excited to do something fun? Or is it because there’s trouble written all over it and it’s anticipating me? I mean who said anything about breaking the rules? We can just play in the dormitory. But my mind wanders, and for the first time, I wanna do something worth risking my life for. Alright, not my life; but you get the idea. I feel like a marauder.

I know, right? Punch me in the stomach, please.

I guess this rebel of an attitude is coming from my messed up life? I get a million emotions thrown at me and it feels like my body is, for once, telling me to go have fun and take my mind off of it. Well, hey. I’m not disagreeing am I?

James gets up from the table and slams his hands down on the table in anger. He storms off with Peter behind him, probably trying to calm him down.

Woah. Do you think that maybe I feel rebellious because of my silent treatment with James?


Pfft. No way. I mean why does he have to cloud my judgment when ever I have the opportunity to have fun?! This is just a ‘living in the moment’ kind of thing, and I don’t care what James thinks.


“Hey, did you see that? Potter just took off.”

Jessica responds, “I dunno. Maybe he’s PMSing?”

I fake laugh and throw some bread at her.


I enter the common and stay up until its half past eleven. I haven’t seen Jessica since dinner, and I haven’t seen the marauders either. This is getting a bit weird. I wonder what James got mad about?


Why do I have to ask myself questions about him? I don’t bloody care. This is his fault. Yes, he’s the reason why I question my sanity. And, my goodness, if I find out that I’m rebelling tonight just because it’s a reaction to my silent treatment with James, I’m going to flip out and throw myself in a dungeon. Why is this always happen to me? Is this some frickin’ cycle that I have to go through all the time? When I’m about to have fun, it’s like he gets a key to my brain and unlocks it, so he’s all I can think about.

WOAH. Okay, not what I meant.

Don’t look at me like that!

OH. NO. I think the little man inside my head is back…Ah, crap.

It’s been a while, hasn’t it?


The little he/she/it/thing inside my mind always makes me feel like I’m the biggest dork on the planet. Hell, I probably am. Great. That takes all the stress off of things, doesn’t it?

I took the liberty of making Truth or Dare cards so that we could have something daring to do during our Girls’ Night. I’m excited! Is this what it feels like to go on a vacation? I’ve never been anywhere but America and England. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is that I, Lily Evans, need to get out more. Not just to have fun, but to do all the things I wanna do in life! And things like the LL (the lily list) are going to help me accomplish my goals. Glee! I just can’t hold my anticipation!

Hold on. Does making Truth or Dare cards qualify me as a being a nerd? It does! Wonderful. I feel like I’ve made flash cards for Ancient Runes. You know what makes it better? I put them in numerical order…

I doze off for about ten minutes. Jessica wakes me up.

“Hey, get up. I’ve got Emma charmed on my bed, we’ve got to get to her before it wears off and she runs away.” My eyes shoot open.

“Jessica! You didn’t!”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal…”

We run to our dormitory and put a silencing charm around our beds so no one can hear us. Jess takes the charm off Emma and she starts to throw a fit.

“I cannot believe you did that! I have feelings! You can’t just take people and lure them into a corner…And you can’t attack them from behind either! That hurt my shoulders, Jessica Marie Finelly. Just thought I’d let you know! Not to mention it was a dark hallway and we were near the stairs… I could have fallen and cracked my head open-”

Jessica puts a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, love. But I had to do something; how else was I supposed to get your attention? I couldn’t even get you to turn your head in my direction so I could ask you a question! I’m sorry I kind of flew on your back… But I had to do what I had to do.”

Emma huffs.
Jessica takes her hand off of her mouth.

I sigh and rub my temples.

I need new friends.

“Now, you know what I’m about to ask, and you know what’s on our minds. So tell us as calmly as you can, and we promise not to criticize you,” I say.

"Or make fun of you, or judge you the wrong way, or make you feel like ripping your hair out, or blushing..." Jessica interjects.

I cough. “That’s enough,” I mumble quickly. “It’s not like we’re asking you to tell us everything… just tell us something so we can understand your position. We don’t wanna make this hard for you.”

Emma just sighs and looks away.

“Come on! Tell us, please. We’re your friends, and you should trust us,” Jessica tells her.

“It’s not a trust thing for you guys; it’s more of trust thing for me,” she responds calmly.

I tilt my head. “What do you mean?” I ask.

“How can I trust myself with what I say? It’s not fair. This feeling… I hate it. I feel like I’m wrong about something I thought I was right about all along. I don’t know how to deal with this… It’s just… I can’t explain it. I thought so differently before and now I can’t even trust myself with my own thoughts.”

“Oh. So it’s a ‘self-assuring’ kind of thing?” I say with my air quotes.

“A little bit, yeah. I need to be sure of myself. And how am I supposed to do that when I have no idea how to assure myself? I need something. Just to let my mind know I’m not crazy!” She groans in distress and falls back on Jessica’s bed.

“It’s okay! Don’t worry, it will come to you eventually,” Jessica says, trying to soothe her.

“We know your head is thinking a million things a minute, but when you need to talk about things like this, it’s better to just let your thoughts loose instead of keeping them bottled up,” I say.

“Is that why you were running away from us today? All day? You didn’t want to talk about it?” Jessica asks, even though she and I both know the answer.

Emma covers her face with a pillow and mumbles, “Yes.”

How did we not know this? Pfft. I try not to look like I’ve known this all along. Jess and I look at each other with our ‘we-TOTALLY-knew-that’ faces.

“Alright. Well, Lily and I know that you’re going to talk to us someway or another, so we should just kill the time by doing something,” Jess wiggles her eyebrows at me.

“Yes! Doing something. You know, Emma…the only reason we were trying to get your attention today is so we could ask you if you wanted to join us for a Girls’ Night.”

Emma lifts the pillow above her head, her arms straight up, and looks at us. “So you weren’t going to attack me with questions about…You know?”

“Nope. We weren’t going to do that at all. Lily and I knew that you would tell us all about that on your own time. Instead of bombarding you with questions, we were just going to ask if you wanted to relax with us. Have some fun… Our own little Girls’ Night!”

“What do you say?” I ask Emma.

Jessica smiles with her adorable dimples (nice move on her part) and asks, “Pleeeeease?”

Emma sits up and rolls her eyes. “Fine…”

Jessica and I do a little victory dance.

“As long as you never do that again!” Emma holds a hand up in front of us, telling us to stop.


Emma erupts into a fit of laughter.

“You ran into a wall the first time you met Jeff?!” she asks Jessica. “And your head hit a painting and made it fall? HA!”

“Er-yeah…” Jessica scratches the back of her head innocently and looks away.

We’ve been telling each other embarrassing stories for the past twenty minutes. Each one of us has to go around and, depending on how embarrassing our story is, we get a chocolate frog. Not so embarrassing moments get one frog, and the really embarrassing ones get up to five. The one with the most chocolate frogs gets to spill an embarrassing secret about another girl.


Jessica is in the lead, considering the first time she saw her future boyfriend was when she rammed her head into a wall and knocked over an expensive portrait.

“This is our last round, ladies. So don’t hold anything back!” I say excitedly as I give Jessica four chocolate frogs.

“Alright, it’s my turn,” Emma announces bravely.

Jess and I have really helped Emma let loose and not worry about anything. Our Girls’ Night is working! This really is a lot of fun. We should do this more often!

“My mother and I went to the computer store about a month ago, before school started. She wanted to try a muggle electronic and she thought she’d start out with a computer. I was the only one in the family to ever take Muggle Studies, so I came with her to help her out. My mother was going to purchase a laptop, but it was heavy, so she sent me to get a shopping cart. As I was coming back with the cart, I got a bit carried away, and for some reason I started riding it!”

Jessica and I glance at each other. This is so NOT like Emma! She’s so…well kept and put together! This blondie isn’t really the type to go cart riding. Wow, can you picture her hair billowing while she’s racing down the aisles?

“Anyway,” she continues, “It was so much fun and I just couldn’t stop. I had no idea how fast I was going. Out of no where, a man in with a cane walks right in front of me…And I basically run him over!”

Jessica snorts.

“It was terrible! I ran into an old man! I thought I broke his hip! I felt so bad. Not only that, but he yelled so loud that all the employees and customers turned around to look at us! Luckily I was no where near my mom… But still! It was so loud. I kept apologizing and saying how sorry I was, but he just took his cane in his hands and walked away, with is back arched at a weird angle.”

Now this time I laugh really hard. “Haha! Emma crippled an old man!”

“NO! I didn’t-”

“Did he fall?” Jessica asks.

Emma takes a breath and covers her face in her hands. “No. He didn’t fall. But his cane did. I had to stand there and watch him bend over to pick up his cane. I thought I killed the man. I rammed that cart into his hip…”

Jessica and I toss her five chocolate frogs each. Could you imagine? Just the fact that I’m picturing Emma doing it just makes me laugh harder! I’m next. I need a good one, so at least go out in style. And so I can eat my winnings and still have enough to save for tomorrow. Who said you couldn’t have chocolate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? I have ten chocolate frogs. Emma has seven. Jessica is beating both of us by a whopping eighteen frogs.

“Jessica came over my house for a sleepover a couple weeks ago…”

“Oh, dear,” Jessica sighs, falling back on the ground.

“And this roused up James enough to invite his friends over for his own sleepover. This happened, events occurred, and…”

“YOU KISSED JAMES POTTER?!” Emma screams in shock. Thank goodness we charmed our beds so no one can hear us.

It’s silent for a long moment. Jessica giggles and says, “Come on, this is Lily Evans we’re talking about.”

“Um. No, actually,” I tell Emma, while glaring daggers at Jessica’s dark frame.

“Oh,” she responds, looking blankly ahead.

“It was nothing like that,” I say. “I assure you that something as sick as snogging Potter is never going happen.”

I can see Jessica smirk and I kick her leg.

“Hey! I have penguin ninja skills, Lily. Don’t mess with me.”

“As I was saying…The marauders were next door to us, and they somehow got us to walk out of my house. They took this as an advantage because before I knew it, I found James Potter in my room with my bra dangling from his hands. He was basically inspecting it! He took it with him as I was pushing him outta my house. When he reached the outside, Sirius took it from him and-”

Oops. I cover my mouth in shock. Oh, no. I don’t think I should have mentioned Sirius Black’s name at all in this. I didn’t wanna make things awkward! Awe, NO! This sucks.

“It’s okay, go on.” I’m surprised to hear that come from Emma.

“…You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure; I can deal with it now. Come on, continue,” she says sweetly with a smile.

“Um- Right. Well I just stood there, like the idiot I was, and saw Sirius take my bra, MY POOR BRA, out of Potter’s hands and actually put it on. The worst part is that he ran around my lawn screaming about how sexy he looked! He was wearing frickin’ PINK AND WHITE LACE! You think he had some decency…” I shudder at the memory.

My story is a winner to my two judges as Emma gives me four chocolate frogs and Jessica gives me two.

“Two?” I question.

“Need I remind you I was there? I give you two for effort,” Jessica chuckles.

Jessica finishes off the round by telling one of her childhood stories involving her cousin and an old diaper. Of course, she gets four chocolate frogs from Emma and three from me, so she wins the game.

“Ha! YES! I know exactly which secret I’m going to tell. I choose Lily.”

I snap my eyes open all the way. “What?!”

“Your life is exciting, Evans,” she says mockingly.

“Jessica. I swear, if you-”

“No worries, love! I won’t tell the big ones. I’m just going to mention a little something that happened a while ago, that’s all.”

I cross my arms. “Fine,” I huff.

“Lily and James saw each other with towels on!” Jessica bursts out. My mouth drops open, and Emma gasps.

“You make it sound so terrible! Must I explain myself?!” I throw my hands in the air.

"You better, Missy!" Emma points at me accusingly.

I lie across Jessica’s bed and prop myself up on my elbows. “I got out of the shower and I was walking across my room. I noticed my window was open, I went to go shut it, but I found Potter just getting out of the shower himself. And I- don’t look at me like that Emma! –And I glared at him because he was checking me out. So yes, we saw each other in towels.”

“Mhm. Sure. That’s all that happened…” Jessica sing songs.

I quirk my eyebrow. “Excuse me?” I challenge.

“Don’t you think it’s just a TEENSY bit funny that you both are parallel to each other’s bed rooms and have windows directly across from each other?”

“Yeah, it is. But what’s your point?”

“Come on! Things like this are bound to happen! He’s a guy, Lily. If you toss a naked girl in front of him he’s going to stare-”


She makes so many things sound dirty! My goodness!


“You had a towel on, whatever. You know what I mean…”

Emma looks at me and wiggles her eyebrows.

“Did you just suggestively wiggle your eyebrows at me Emma Tebbon?” I ask her, amused by her questioning face.

“Do I have to say it?” she asks pleadingly, but in an excited kinda way. I guess its fun for her to hear about some one else’s guy problems; it gets her mind off of hers.

I sigh at the thought of that.

Guy problems.

Honestly, I could write a book.

“Um,” I mumble hesitantly. “Yes. YES, okay? James Potter has a great body.”

“I knew it!” Emma says inconsequently, staring into space.

Jessica slaps the ground. “Hah! I knew Lily were thinking that, too. That day in Diagon Alley I asked her if she thought he was attractive and she found a way of telling me yes but not actually saying those exact words. But she actually admitted it with the words ‘James Potter’ and ‘great body’ all in the same sentence!”

Emma looks at Jessica on the ground. “I always heard he had a nice upper body, but I never thought Lily would admit it!” Emma kind of whispers.

I throw my arms up in the air. “HELLO, I’M RIGHT HERE, GUYS! Still sitting near you both, just in case you didn’t know where I was!” I tell them sarcastically. “Jess, I don’t like him. For the last time, I’m not as shallow as Potter. I will not succumb to liking a guy just for his body. As if Potter’s body could even have that effect…”

“From what I heard, it could…”

I sock a pillow at Emma. Hard.

“List the guys of liked, mates. Sure, they were cute. But I liked them for who they were, too. But Amos Diggory’s another story. He was a friend to me in the beginning, but I didn’t know him well enough… I was so foolish to think that was the real him,” I curse under my breath.

“No. He doesn’t count. I don’t think anyone really knew how much of a jerk he really was. It sucks that you had to find out that way, though,” Jessica says.

I lay my head down. “Yeah.”

“Come on, ladies. This is our Girls’ Night! There MUST be more to do than just wallow in faded memories,” Emma says surprisingly. Did that really come from her? I can’t help but smile in satisfaction. She’s feeling better. And as soon as Emma feels she’s ready, she’ll tell us what’s going on with her and a certain member of the Black household.

“Oi. I made Truth or Dare cards.” I bring over the cards I made and I lay them out.

Jessica rolls her eyes as she takes a seat on her bed. “You made cards? Oh, my. You numbered them, too? Dear, Lily...”

“Don’t judge me,” I say quickly. “The odd numbers are Truth. The even numbers are Dare. We’ll take turns. Now I went sort of all out for this… So… Some of them are extreme. So just tell me if you don’t wanna do them because-”

“Oh, let’s start already!” Jessica impatiently interrupts. Great, all that chocolate has given her a sugar rush. Hell hath no fury like a hyper Jessica Finelly.

“I choose six! Six, please. SIX!”

I purse my lips. “Calm down, Jess.”

I turn over the number six card: Go into the Sixth Year boys’ dormitory and take a marauder’s sock.

She looks at me in surprise. “Lily! I never knew you could think of something so devious!”

Way to make me feel like I’m taking over the world. “It’s not that devious,” I say defensively. “But, it is a bit over the top. So if you don’t wanna do it I can think of a new one.”

“Jessica Finelly never turns down a dare!” She gets up quickly, ready for battle.

“Are you going to fight in the Vietnam War? You’re sporting the Arnold Schwarzenegger face again. Remember the binoculars from my sleepover?” My mind goes through memory lane.

She ignores me and starts digging through her trunk. “I think I brought them. If not, I’ll just use the rope left over from last time.”

Oh, dear.

What have I done?

A/N- ahahahahah.

I just crack myself up. =]
Review, lovelies!

Jonathan Micheals, everyone.
The kid that Lily ALMOST ran into naked. Thanks to Mr. Black =D

Chapter 15: Midnight Mischief, Part Two
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Author's Note: Holy Crapola! Here we are lol. :] I just wanna let you guys know that I've started a new story, so when the first chapter gets validated, check it out! HAVE A HAPPY READING, EVERYONE!

I can’t believe she’s making me do this. Jessica’s got me picking the lock to a marauder’s trunk in the boys’ dormitory. I’m on my knees and I’m praying that none of the guys are awake. All this because of a stupid dare… What was I thinking writing that down as an option?!


Now, I remember my little nude Gryffindor boys’ scandal and I’m here to say none of it’s changed. It’s the same messy room, same snoring boys, just none of them naked. If they were, you of all people would know I’d have a heart attack.

My heart is pounding in my chest and I keep fidgeting with the lock. This is supposed to be JESSICA’S dare, not mine, but she had trouble seeing because…

She put on her war paint and now it smeared in her eyes and she can’t see.

There, I said it.

I hate this. There, I said that, too.

Emma would do it, but she’s on the look out near the door, just in case someone comes in or if someone gets up to use the bathroom. You think with this kind of security I would be okay. What with Emma on the look out and Jessica being blind and all…


I’m not.

Not because I’m breaking the rules. Not because I’m doing it past curfew. Not because if I get caught rumors will surface everywhere. But because I noticed something very bad a few minutes ago.

James and Sirius aren’t in their beds. It's making me go hay-wire. This has WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON written all over it. I don’t have good luck, you know that. I can’t deal with this damn lock; blame my brain. I can’t focus because I’m thinking about where Sirius and James are! See how frickin’ crazy I am?

Little man inside my head.

It’s his entire bloody fault.

All. Of. It.

I need to concentrate on this damn lock! For once it would be great if the marauders didn’t disturb my life so much as to enter my brain when I’m trying to help Jessica steal people’s socks! Meh. It’s so annoying. Get out spiky haired boy and friend! Shoo!

I try to focus just a little bit, and, have mercy, it works. The lock opens and I push Jessica closer and tell her to look around in the trunk. I don’t know how she’s going to find a sock… It looks like his clothes threw up. She smears her eyes on her pajama shirt and tries to squint. I roll my eyes and back up, giving her more room. We didn’t wanna take anything from Remus, so we chose Peter’s bed. And we didn’t go near Sirius because of, you know, Emma and her self assuring issues. I deleted James off my list a long time ago; I’m not going near that bed again…

Emma taps my shoulder behind me, scaring me to death.

“Er, Sorry… I just had a thought, instead of picking the lock, why didn’t you just bring your wand with you?” she asks.

My face goes still.

Are you fucking kidding me?

“I am a sodding idiot,” I conclude, rubbing my temples. You’d think Jessica would plan ahead for this, seeing as she is always prepared for heists. But, no. She got too excited and stabbed her pupil with black paint before we even reached the door. Emma thought this too late, so she couldn’t have thought about bringing her wand. I did this for nothing… Well, not nothing, but now I feel like a bloody moron. Emma walks back to her look out spot as I wait for Jessica to patiently find Peter’s sock. After a while, she finds one and we roll out of the room. We stop every few minutes or so when we hear a snore coming from the boys. Emma closes the door slowly and we walk back.

“I feel like such a spy right now. It’s invigorating,” Jess whispers.

Invigorating, my ass.

“I’m just happy I convinced you to put away your rope and binoculars,” I say swiftly.

I shake my head. “You’re getting too wild for me, now-a-days.”

Jessica raises her eyebrow. “I’m just a more careless and free-er version of you, Lily,” she jokes.


“I don’t have that kind of stamina, Ms. Dimples,” I reply.

Jessica wipes some more of her war paint off with one hand and carries Peter’s sock in the other. Emma and I follow closely behind her in the dark hallway. What Jessica said sticks in my mind and I silently think to myself.

Are Jessica and I really that similar? To think that I could be like her… her attitude, her adventurous qualities…It’s a bit weary to think about. I remember before the beginning of term when Jess told me that I could do exactly what she does, if I could just let go of what ever was holding me back from being free. Of course Jessica and I are alike in a lot of ways, but I never thought until right now that I could act the same way. Is she a more careless version of myself? Is Jessica Finelly a clone of me with a wild side? Well, not clone. But you know what I mean. I wish I could do what she does; carefree, without a hesitant step. Life would be much easier. I’ve told her this before, how I wish I could get the courage to be a little bit more proud of myself. But Jessica’s always answered with the same response. I can have so much more self confidence if I just let go. Sometimes I understood what she meant, but at other times I was a bit lost. There are a lot of things that have affected me in my life that have made me very cautious…

I feel like a nerd, thinking about this. I just can’t. I can’t be who I wanna be. It’s a lot of information to understand, I know. Just think about how my head is trying to function! I see Jessica, and I think to myself, she’s the reason for all the happiness in my life. She’s pushed us both to the limits because she isn’t afraid of what’s out there. This is why we’re so different and alike at the same time. Everything ‘out there’ scares me. You don’t know what’s coming next. And that makes me nervous. Jessica knows that about me. She’s managed to help me have the best times of my life, all because she knows I can do it. Everything you find terrifying to do is usually the stuff that’s the most worth while. I don’t know why all this has entered my thoughts all of a sudden, but I think it’s because there are certain things that people say, that just- affect me. Like right now. Just a couple simple words spoken to me and they make me think so deeply… Even when I lease expect it. See? Another thing to be afraid of: the affects of words at random moments.

Lily Evans is afraid of words.


I laugh to myself. I’m such a nutter.

“What’re you gigglin’ about?” Jessica asks, opening the door to the girls’ dormitory.

I look at her big smeared raccoon eyes and smile. I give her a big hug, taking her by surprise. “Thank goodness I have you, Jessica Marie. You bring out the best in me when I think I can only do worse.”

Jessica’s taken aback and Emma smiles at us. I rest my head on Jess’s shoulder.

“Uh…Wow. Well, thank you,” Jessica stutters, hugging me back. “This is kinda random…”

I turn my head around to Emma.

“What are you doing over there? Join this circle of lovin’!”

“Okay!” Emma hops over and we hug each other like we’re in some American sports film.

_ten minutes later_

“Look at me! I have short hair now!” Emma exclaims, jumping on Jessica’s bed.

“You look hot!” Jessica tells her.

“Jess is right, you do!”

“I can’t believe that spell worked. I thought I would mess up and get some sort of Mohawk, but it’s perfect!”

It was Emma’s turn so she picked card #2 and the dare said:

Do something drastic to your hair, i.e. color or cut.

She was brave enough to cut her hair a little bit above shoulder length, and it used to be six inches passed her shoulders! She looks great. I didn’t think she would go through with it.

Emma walks slowly to the bathroom to look at her new hair cut in the mirror. “This was the best dare ever,” she tells us when she walks back.

Jessica looks at the clock and says, “Man, we are going to be dead today. When are we gonna fall asleep? Because hours from now, they’re gonna start serving breakfast! We’re staying up on a school night…until morning. I love it- Aha! My wand! I was looking for it today…” Jessica gets her wand out from under her bed and takes off the war paint.

“I never even thought about that, to tell you the truth. All I wanted to do was have a girls’ night, not caring if we were going to get up early in time for school. But I should have planned this better…We’ll just cut the game early and pick it up another time,” I say.

“Yeah, after your turn,” Jess says bluntly.

“Alright, alright.” I reach for a card.

“Don’t even think of picking up an odd card,” I hear behind me. I twitch.

Oh, fine.

“Hold on, now! She wrote the cards, so she knows what she’s gonna choose!” Emma tells Jessica.

I gasp. "Excuse me, I am not a cheater! Like I honestly remember what I wrote-"
me, I am not a cheater! Like I honestly remember which ones I wrote-”

I get cut off by Jessica jumping on my shoulders and covering my eyes with her hands. I land on the ground with a POOF.

“Damn it! I’m prone to bruises you know.” I roll my eyes. Her methods of solving problems…Tackling people.

“I’ll choose your card, don’t look.” Jessica gets off me and picks up a random card.

“Oh. My. God.” When Jessica gasps and says those words, the outcome is never too great.

Emma takes the card from Jess. Her mouth drops. “Miss Evans, who knew that someone like yourself had it in you to write this down as a dare?” They smile coyly at me.

I stare blankly ahead. So I’ve set myself up for the worst? This is just great. Of course I had to come up with these cards. Of course I had to.

I get up and read card #10. It takes me a couple seconds to blink.


How could I be so stupid? I’m burning these cards.


Never again will I write down truth or dare options.

Never again will I take the opportunity to party plan.

Never again will I BREATHE!

Wear lacey lingerie and walk around Hogwarts.


I’ve tried every possible way to get out of this. But here I am, in Jessica’s lacey underwear. Mind you, I would not have lacey lingerie to wear; I don’t own things such as that.

“It’s actually kinda cold down here,” Emma whispers.

“Um, you’re cold? Really?” I say sarcastically. Hello, I’m barely wearing anything and she’s cold.

She rolls her eyes. “A dare’s a dare, Lily. Just do it.”

We’re hiding behind a pillar in the hallway. I’m so scared. What if I run into a professor?


No. I don’t wanna take this kind of risk. Heaven forbid I do this calmly. I can never do things calmly. I’m surprised Jessica even had underwear like this. I mean it’s not full on lingerie, Jessica’s not of that sort, but it’s one of those wonder-bra lacey things with satin setting that’s supposed to make you feel ‘sexy’. It has no contraptions or snaps to it, no sheer tights with velcro attachments, and nothing that constitutes under the name S.L.A.G. If that was what I had to wear, then I wouldn’t be here right now. I have boundary lines, you know.

If I had the choice I wouldn’t be doing this at all.

“You’re lucky I didn’t bring my camera to Hogwarts. Then I really would have embarrassed you…” Emma says, just to make fun of me.

I put my fingers to my temple and try to ignore her last comment... Alright. It’s not like this is such a big deal. All I have to do is walk around the grounds a couple times and head back to the common room. It’s dark, and only some corridors have torches lit. It’s way passed the midnight mark, so I’m sure no teachers will be around.

Why am I so freaked out?

“You always freak out,” Jessica tells me.

I resist the urge to hit my head against the wall.

“The only reason I freak out is because I have a bad habit of thinking about the worst case scenario and the ‘What Ifs’ of disaster. I take caution.”

"Caution, my arse,” she says, pronouncing ‘arse’ the cute little Jessica way. “Why are you still here?! Go!” She points down the hallway.

“Don’t rush me, Finelly! I have to prepare myself, physically and mentally. It’s too cold to think and my head is going into over drive.”

Jessica sighs. “Stop thinking about what bad things could happen and just do it! Even if you don’t have the confidence, fake it! And when you realize you’re faking that confidence, you won’t care anymore; you’ll be confident on your own and you won’t be pretending much longer. Just try it.”

I steady my breathing.

“I mean, look at me! I was weary about cutting my hair, but your dare made me realize how good I look with shorter hair! I thank you for making me take a risk, now it’s your turn,” Emma tells me. “And besides, you look like a hot mama.”

My eyes bulge out of my head. “Stop it!” I slap her shoulder. This reminds me of the movie John Tucker Must Die. One of the female characters dresses up in sexy undies. At first she doesn’t want to do it, but she puts them on because her friends push her to just try it on. And then she starts to have the confidence to pull it off.

And that’s what I have to do. Try it on.

Actually, I did try it on…And the bra is really kinda tight…

Little man! Out of my head, NOW!

Let me rethink that. I need to try this because… Well, wait. Why DO I need to do this?

“It was written on the card, sweet heart,” Jessica reminds me. “If you can’t do this, what else can’t you do? Remember what you said about me helping you take those risks worth taking? This might or might not be one of them, but you have to find out on your own.”

Emma looks at Jessica blankly. “Er- yeah,” she says.

I don’t move.

“You’re going to have to stop hiding behind this pillar sooner or later. Don’t you wanna get it over with? Take a step!” Emma pushes me forward and I give a little ‘Eep’ sound.

I stare at the darkly lit hallway, where hundreds of students pass by every moment of every day. I start to walk slowly; baby steps might help me get loose. I have to think of something… Some sort of confidence booster. I can’t be afraid of everything I have to do; I feel like a pessimist. Must I always think of the worst? I take deep breaths, stopping ever so often when I hear a creak in the wall, or a howl through the windows.

The floor is cold. Really cold. I’ve made it half way down the corridor-


I rub my head. I think I ran into a suit of armor. I hear giggles behind me.

“Shut your faces, please,” I say loud enough for her to hear me. But Emma and Jess just start whistling. I roll my eyes. They’re doing this just in spite of me in my situation.


I don’t look attractive in this. No. This isn’t my style and it’s very uncomfortable. No wonder Jessica doesn’t wear this. Actually, I think this was the first time she tore off the packaging. She’s never worn this. I don’t mean to say too much, but I just have to let loose with two things- the satin or what ever panties are giving me the biggest wedgies the size of England that anyone’s ever seen and my boobs are looking WAY too perky for my liking… this brassiere has pushed up certain things I never knew I had.

Uncomfortable, yes.

Fun, no.

Usually when those two adjectives come together to form an activity that activity is never carried out. How did I even think of this? Who wears underwear down the hallways of their school?

I am such a weirdo.

Maybe this is an epiphany…?

Could be. This might be the day (technically- very early morning) that I let loose of my inhibitions for just a moment of fun. I could turn this into fun. Look at me- in a figurative sense- I’m not exactly boring; thank my life for that. So if this is what life throws at me, why not make the best of it?

I imagine myself walking down the fashion runway. Yeah, that’s working. I start to strut my stuff, with fake confidence, as Jessica suggested. I could be walking for, I don’t know- maybe Topshop? Marc Jacobs? Chanel? No, I don’t have that much class…

I can see down the runway carpet, and I put a little pep to my step. I imagine some of the people I might see seated on the first row, just like a real fashion show. I guess this whole fake confidence booster actually works. This can be kind of fun, if you think about it. My mind whirls through the different designers and label brands I could be modeling for.

Christian Dior? Prada? Alexander McQueen? Oh, we’re getting expensive…

Hah, as if I could ever be a model. But hey, this is my imagination isn’t it? I could be a doctor if I wanted to! Um, just not at the moment. I don’t wanna perform open heart surgery wearing lingerie.

Gucci? Stella McCartney? Hm… How about Armani Exchange?

Hey, James loves Armani Ex –


I take a moment to blink. “Calm... Stay calm,” I tell myself.

I look straight head, ignoring the chills from the cold floor running up and down my spine. I can do this.

I’m Lily Fucking Evans.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I walk passed a sleeping portrait, slowly, as not to wake the man in the painting. The marble floor splits into carpet; I must be getting near the hallway towards the stairs. I’m the only one in this hallway. And I’m close to being naked.

This is liberating.

I feel free, walking down here, not a care in the world, all my insecurities disguised by the shadows of the night. No one can see me. It’s like this limitless feeling you get when you’re in a dream and everything goes your way. You just needed a push to get there. I haven’t felt this free since the sleepover. And even then, I wasn’t feeling like this!

I can do this.

I’m doing it.

I’m doing it.

I’m hearing voice.


I’m…hearing voices?

I tuck my hair behind my ear to get a better listen to the ruffling sounds coming from the stairs. Before I try to understand what’s going, I see a light. It’s coming from the tip of a wand.

“I cannot believe you made me come with you to the kitchens, Padfoot.”

“….What’s the problem?”

“The problem is your urge for Mexican dishes at the crack of early morning,” James says exasperatedly.

“It’s just a few tacos, Prongs,” Sirius says, licking his lips from the food he had no doubted consumed moments ago.

My entire fashion runway world has crashed down. The epitome of sea level is where my confidence has gone. I wish someone would push me down the stairs, or drug me, or hide me in a closet at this very moment.


My goodness. My goodness.

Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe.

For Merlin’s sake, I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!

My eyes are popping out of their sockets, scared of what they’re going to be witnessing soon if I don’t get out of here! Sweet biscuits. What the fuck was I thinking doing this? I completely ignored the fact that one half of the marauders weren’t in their beds. And this is what I get for not being cautious.

I’m hyperventilating, but slowing down my breathing just in case they’ll hear my ragged breaths as I hurriedly creep backwards, away from the stairs. Away from two sixteen year olds wearing nothing but flannel pajama bottoms… From the sleepover… THE SAME PAJAMA BOTTOMS.


I’m going to faint.

Some damn epiphany, let me tell you. How ironic. I’m almost nude, and two guys whom I’d hung by a roof have repeated their outfits for this special occasion. Is this going to start a sort of fucked up tradition?

Possibly the worst night to try on the LIBERATION tiara with pride.

It’s not like this is Jessica’s fault really. Or Emma’s. It was mine. MY DAMN CARDS.

What confidence booster? What strut? What damn freedom?

I was good while it lasted. I’ll give you that.

I CAN’T STAY HERE ANYMORE! Seeing them. So close to me, and them not realizing I’m here. Me. In underwear. James Potter and Sirius Black. As if stealing my intimate apparel wasn’t enough! AHHHH!

Not only would I literally die because of lack of oxygen, but I’d have to live with the fact that they bloody saw me with no clothes on! Have I no decency?!

I’m NOT letting this happen!

Before I know it I’m bolting backwards and quickly turn around, trying to spring towards the other end of the hall.

“Woah, Pad, did you hear that?” I hear in the distance.

Oh. Shit.

“I think I saw something run that way,” James tells Sirius.

I can even imagine their confused faces as their speaking these words right now.

Crazy, huh? Maybe this is what happens BEFORE YOU DIE. Because if I don’t run faster, I’m going to become a lifeless corpse. In a push-up bra.

I turn the corner, and I start to hear fast feet behind me. My blood has turned cold. Just keep sprinting… keep sprinting... in damn lingerie, er… no matter… keep running like a bloody chicken...

They’re not running, but I can tell their speed walking. Dear Merlin, they have a wand. They could shine a light from here to China if they wanted to! Can’t -pant- be -pant- seen.

I see the pillar and I SEE THE LIGHT! Behind me! Not the heavenly kind of light. Have mercy, if I was that blessed. They can’t be that close to me already! At the rate their going I can stop by the pillar for a moment. Just enough for me to tell Emma and Jess to get the hell out of here.

“Abort fucking dare. Abort. I finished half of it- LET’S GO! Run, ladies, RUN!” I scream and whisper at the same time. I take their wrists before they can say a word and I tug at them.

“What?!” Jessica’s bewildered.

“Wait- WHY? Oh, there’s a light!” Emma points.

“Yes. YES. I know. Run!”

Emma, Jessica, and I are running full speed. “I found out where Potter and Black were the whole time they weren’t in their beds.”

Jessica exclaims, “Unbelievable!” She throws her hands in the air. “He was in the kitchens, wasn’t he?!”

“SHUT YOUR TRAP!” I tell her.
I look behind me. Son of a biscuit eating bull dog.

“They’re getting closer, so shut it before they go totally Quidditch on us and run us into the ground,” I seeth.

“I’m so sorry, Lily! I totally ruined this-”

“No! Jessica, stop it. It was not your fault. I’m the one that came up with the concept. All I was doing was following the rules of the game. My responsibility, remember? A dare’s a dare. No matter how bloody twisted the outcome might be.”

Our feet are running just fast enough to dodge the beams of light on the ground coming from James’s wand.

“Hey! We hear you. Who’s there?” James calls out.

I think I’m going to pee my panties.

“Prongs, I think I see something-”

What. Why. Why did he stop talking?

“Er- James. I think- BLOODY HELL! It’s someone in they’re panties!” Sirius exclaims.


Take that dictionary extraordinaires!

I made up a new word to describe what’s going on with my life right now. Very suitable, don’t you think?

Emma flashes me an alarming look, and she stares at me for a while; which means she’s reading the look on my face. Let me sum up that look for you: I. HAVE. THE. BEST. LUCK. IN. THE. WORLD.

I can feel my boobs bouncing from this damn bra and I think to myself, WHY ME?!

Girls’ Night = Destroyed.

I don’t even want to think about classes today. This is possibly the worst morning of all time.

Jessica looks like she’s going to throw up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of face on Jessica before.

“I feel sick.”

“Your ass isn’t even on the line! And you feel sick?!” I whisper, my legs taking me faster.

“I think it was one too many chocolate frogs…”

“Throw up later, not now! For Lily!” Emma almost screams.

I resist the urge to tackle her. “Don’t say my name out loud!”


We’re almost close to the portrait hole. Godric Gryffindor, please, do not let them see my face!

“Wait, hold on!” James calls. No way, James Potter. You’ll have to catch me first.

We abruptly turn left and look for the fat lady. Just a couple more feet…

Emma briskly says the password to the sleepy woman in the portrait. She starts to ask questions but Jessica throws a little fit and gets the door open without an answer to any of the fat lady’s questions. “How rude,” was the last thing we heard as we ran up to our dormitory.

We climb in our beds hurriedly, not caring how many skirts and shoes we tripped over to get into our four-posters. Emma and I are so shell shocked that we stay still under the sheets, just staring at each other. Then, out of nowhere, Jessica bursts out laughing.

“That was SO WICKED!”

And so we laugh, until tears are in our eyes. We laugh until we fall asleep, right there, with what ever clothes we have on..

Wicked risks, eh?

Ohhhhhh. Mannnn.
I am BAD! ;]
I know, I know.
I'm naughty. Here's another picture of Sirius xD

Review, lovelies! And don't worry, more updates coming through out the summer!

Chapter 16: The Jack And The Joker
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Woah. It's been a while. Well, I hope you really enjoy this one... It took me a while to finish it but near the end the ideas just kept spilling! So it's a lengthly chapter ;P

Oh, and I'm not sure if you would call this a filler chapter, but it's more of a 'add up all the loose ends' kind of chapter. Alot actually happens in this one. The kind that makes you hope that there's a good outcome in the future ^_^ I just couldn't stop typing... So really, I apologize if you get bored at the end lol.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: I swear, on Merlin’s beard, that if you even try to attempt to blow anything up ever again, I will shove my wand so far up your arse that every time you open your mouth it’ll be EXPECTO PATRONUM.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Er… delightful.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: I second the EXPECTO PATRONUM motion.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: times five.


SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: You’re supposed to be on the marauders’ side!

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: You’re the only marauder on the moronic side, Sirius.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: PWND.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I would totally flick your nose right now, Wormtail, considering you’re next to me. But I won’t… Because I- what? YES, I have self control.

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: no comment.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Is this the dawn of a new era?

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Who’s Dawn?

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: I really do worry about you sometimes, Peter.

Yes, it’s Monday. A new week, a new set of computers, and unfortunately, not a new set of classmates. We’re in the same classroom as before except some stuff has changed. No, unfortunately our seating arrangements are the same. Jessica still sits next to Mr. Flatulence; also known as Albert The Fart Machine. I’m still no where near her- but I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or a curse, according to the SILENT BUT DEADLYs that Albert’s let rip this morning. The ‘emergency brake’ button was moved inside the cupboard room. No more big buttons for Sirius to be tempted by. It’s quite a small cupboard room…The name fits.


I still can’t get over it. An emergency brake. Emergency frickin’ brake.

In Hogwarts.


Now, on to more important things… No, James didn’t find out it was me. And no- he hasn’t talked to me at all today; just eye contact, which is one serving of James too many. I’m sure Sirius and James didn’t notice Emma and Jessica last night either, because while I walked passed them this morning for breakfast, all I heard was them talking about me- just me. Well, they didn’t know they were talking about me. Sirius was mentioning some girl running around in her panties last night to Remus and Peter. Nosy little bugger.

I have been walking around like a zombie this morning. Emma’s a morning person so she somehow found the energy to wake up today on time. Jessica and I on the other hand woke up ten minutes before the end of breakfast. You know how I am about food…I was NOT missing breakfast, so of course Jess and I rushed to get our clothes on. The worst part about jamming the food down my throat and walking around like the living dead is that I still have the underwear on from last night! I know, it’s terrible. It’s like a dreadful reminder of why my eye sockets have been drooping down to my knees lately. But honestly, this morning, taking off the underwear that almost ruined my life totally slipped my mind. I was too focused on getting dressed on time and being able to eat before classes. But now I regret it. Not only because this bra is a bit too snug, but because every time I’ve tried to adjust my sitting position to fix my boobs secretly… All the memories from last night find their way into my memory. Wearing this thing. Almost being seen by them. Standing in that hallway. My liberation hallway. I guess it was a once and a lifetime opportunity to feel that free… But man, it felt amazing!

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Man, I’m soooo tired.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Story of my life.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Yeah, I noticed at breakfast, well- the couple of minutes that you both were there… you and Ginger Snaps over here staggered in like zombies. Oh, and Lily, you have bags under your eyes.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: thanks.


EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: And, by the way- Don’t frickin’ call me Ginger Snaps, or I’ll snap YOUR head off.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: So Emma got her hair cut. I saw it today…


IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: ahahahahaha ;]

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: oh, the irony =]

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: I was shocked when I saw her this morning actually. Who knew she’d randomly get her hair cut? She can pull off the short blonde hair. Unlike Parvana Igor who looks like a sergeant from Vietnam with that Nazi cut she got last week.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Yeah, the short hair really does suit Emma.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Back off, remyyyyy.


JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Oh, of course. She soooo wants you, Padfoot. I can see it in the way she runs away from you….

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: alsdkjfalskdf.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: SO INTO YOU, PADDY, IT’S CRAZY. The way her legs pick up speed after you try to call out her name…

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: now wait a minute.

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: the way her arms flail all over the place…

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: hold on now!

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: hitting little children…  

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: in the face…



JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: SLAP!!!!


EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Not that I’m allowed to say anything, but Sirius… Just don’t worry about it right now, okay?

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Yeah, she’ll talk to you eventually. Just don’t… Attack her.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Hah! You hear that? No more turning around from corners and trying to catch her arm anymore, Paddy!

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: You WHAT?!


EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Don’t do that ever again! No wonder she’s all over the place! You’ve turned her into a wreck, attacking her like that.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: What’s this now? She’s a wreck? It’s because of my dashing good looks, isn’t it? ;]

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Lily! Stop talking.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Er, right. She’s completing fine how she is. Never mind.



So I take out my Lily List for the first time in a while. I read everything all over again, as if I was still on the train on that same day.

1. Get a tattoo on my lower back.
2. Save a pet from harm/rescue an abandoned animal. [ACCOMPLISHED]
3. Get autographs from all the members of McFly.

4. Purchase tickets to see England play, and hopefully win, in the World Cup.
5. Get a boyfriend before the end of school.

6. Snog with someone in the rain.

7. Make a funny home movie, and then save it for remembrance.
8. Get a picture taken with someone in those cool photo booth places.

9. Shave off someone’s eye brows.
10. Bump into someone famous.

11. Become friends with a gay guy.

12. Fall in love with someone who will never leave me, and one day get married.

13. Go skinny dipping in the ocean or the lake at Hogwarts.

14. Moon somebody/show someone my butt and then run away ashamed of myself.

15. Learn how to play an instrument.

16. Ask Mrs. Jenkins to teach me how to knit.

17. Finally save enough money to get an ipod, and make it cooler and better than Jessica’s.
18. Make my own dress.
19. Get a job at an old diner.
20. Learn an exotic dance like the tango.

I look at #14. Technically, I kind of did show someone my ass and then run away ashamed of myself. But the Jessica side of me says: NO. That’s not fully fair. Number fourteen is just going to be another memory of mine I’m going to have to make.

But number nine looks quite interesting.



“I get it now,” Emma says, dropping her books on the coffee table and plopping down next to me on the couch. I was just sitting here in the common room thinking about my next course of action for The LL, and was interrupted by Emma bursting through the portrait hole.

“I’ve got the hots for Sirius Black,” Emma says to me, as plainly as she can.

I look at her skeptically. Emma would never say something like that. She’s too…mature.

“I know, I know- I’m actually talking like a teenager. But, for the first time, Lily, I feel like being giddy!” A smile creeps on her face before she can stop herself.

I adjust my position on the couch. “I knew that in some way, you liked him. Jess and I could tell; but we didn’t know he’d have this much of an affect on you…afterwards.”

“Well, okay, I realize that. That whole self finding thing, that I, well… Found out. And I’ve grasped my feelings now. In the beginning, I was terrified of what this would feel like; this kind of boy interest. I mean I’ve had boyfriends before but I don’t think I’ve ever liked them as much as I’ve found out how hard I have fallen for Sirius.”

I smile. “You seem to really like him.”

“Are you kidding? When ever I hear someone behind me say his name I feel butterflies in my tummy.” She falls back on the couch, her head looking up. I’ve never seem Emma this way, and surprisingly enough I’m not that excited. Of course I’m happy for her, it’s just… I saw this coming. But I wonder about all that other stuff with Emma.

“When did you find out that you liked him?”

“Alright,” she starts, “I was really confused with that horrid poem and then when that kiss came, it felt shocking but relaxing at the same time. I was so guilty for letting myself enjoy the fact that Sirius was an incredible kisser. I felt like a hypocrite and I didn’t want to make a scene and just flat out say that I enjoyed it. Because I thought that I shouldn’t have; like I knew more about what was best for me, even though I didn’t. I shunned myself away for days and ran away every time I saw someone I knew try and approach me. After all that time of thinking he was the most pompous idiot on the planet, I never suspected him to be interested in me; let alone me falling for him! It took A LOT of time to get used to this idea, but I can’t run away from the truth.”

“Well, consider yourself Sirius-ly In Love,” I say with a grin.

“He’s still a pompous idiot, but I’ll learn to like his immature side with time, I guess,” Emma says out of the blue, as if she was discussing it with herself in her head before saying it.

I laugh. “Have you told Sirius?”

She gets a bit red in the face and looks down. “No, I haven’t. Actually, I’ve been running away every chance I get! I can’t tell him, I don’t want to-”

“Emma Michelle Tebbon, you are going to stop running away from him. You’re going to march up to Sirius and snog his brains out. Jessica has tape, if necessary-”

“I can’t bring myself to tell him! What if he’s moved on by now or what if he doesn’t like my hair cut? I know that I haven’t really given him a chance to talk considering the fact that I’ve run way from him and his friends about four times today, but I’m afraid of rejection! And- Wait, what the hell does tape have to do with telling Sirius?” Emma asks bewildered.

I smile sheepishly. “To keep you from running away. We could tape your arms and legs together and make you hop to him, and in doing so, we’d know for a fact that every other human on the face of the earth would be faster than you. You’d have no way of escaping anyone that couldn’t catch up with you.”

“Did you just devise that plan up in your head right now?” She says worriedly.

“Kind of.”

“Stop hanging around Jessica.”

I roll my eyes with a smile.


“How about you? Are you going to go up to James and tell him that it was your arse he saw in velvet pink and lace last night?”

I snort. “That was almost funny.”

“Consider us even, then.”

“No! That’s not fair! Me and Potter, you and Sirius,” I weigh with my hands. “Me and Potter,” my one hand goes down, “You and Sirius”, my other hand goes up. “You two are WAY more important than the former. Besides the fact that those are two very different situations involving marauders, you can’t go around for the rest of the year without talking to him or telling him about your feelings! And no, to answer your question, Sirius is still crazy about you. I think he might be in love with you now considering your knew hair do. You can thank me for that.”

I get up and walk to my dorm, leaving a dazed and awkward Emma in the common room to sort out her thoughts. I’m a couple steps away from the Sixth Year girls’ dormitory when I feel a hand go around my waist.

“I think I’ve figured your game out, Evans,” he whispers in my ear.

I turn around. How the hell did he get up the stairs without it turning into a slide?

“There I was, sitting at my desk during Muggle Studies this morning, thinking about why you have been silent with me for quite a while. Then I thought about it some more while lounging on my bed doing Charms homework; and it hit me. I didn’t know why, but it just dawned on me out of no where. I don’t understand why I couldn’t have figured this out earlier,” James says to me slowly, smirking.

I take a deep breath and try to look away, but I guess I can’t do that, since I’m staring straight into his hazel eyes.

“All those quiet moments, one word answers, smart remarks and retorts to my questions… You’re giving me the silent treatment.”


“Oh, and I dragged myself up here, in case your wondering. Quidditch has given me enough strength to haul myself up the railing,” James adds.

He couldn’t have figured this out already…NO! It was going so well, and the fact that it had been going on for days; it was an accomplishment! Damn him and his marauder skills of figuring out enigmas of all sorts.

I try to seem nonchalant about what he’s told me, and fold my arms.


He chuckles. “Don’t play with me, Evans. You should know that my Jack beats your Joker by a mile.” James rests his arm above me, coming in close contact with my face. Well, he’s sure of himself.

“I’m no Joker,” I say, playing back. If he wants to be a smart ass about this, then let him. I’ll be one, too- see how he likes it. “You’re the Joker, if anything. Only the Jack could have come up with the silent treatment and stump the Joker.”

“Who said I was stumped? Just simply confused.” He leans closer to me.

Getting comfortable, now are we?

“I thought you were supposed to be the Jack?” I try not to smile.

He stays there for a while with out saying anything, and stares into my eyes.

I don’t like this.


The corner of his mouth curls just a bit, but before he can do anything I open the door from behind me, my hand twisting the brass knob behind my back. It would have gone great to have slammed it into his face and leave him there near the stairs. It would have also been great if I remembered the minor detail of his arm resting on the door as well. We both fall, James on top of me, and my back on the floor.

He catches the floor just in time so only some of his body weight really hits me. We’re lying on the floor (part of us in the girls’ dormitory, the other part sticking out of the door) and I’ve never been this nervous with James before; because it took me a while to register a tiny problem.


We’re on the floor and our feet are just there for all to see. Have mercy, people are going to think we’re getting it on! This looks so bad. But before I try to think of a way to get up before anyone sees, struggling and turning under him, I notice my skirt flew up while we fell.

Revealing my panties from last night.

The unforgettable panties with the unnecessary lace trim. I give a little yell and pull my skirt down but it’s too late. James is staring at my ass. And it’s for ALL the wrong reasons.

“Bloody…” He mumbles.

I’m so red right now that if you squeezed me tomato juice would come out.

I don’t know what to do, he’s seen me! He knows it’s me! After running a hundred miles per hour last night so he couldn’t catch me, it all went for nothing! James found out. He defeats me in a nonviolent battle. And he didn’t even do anything. I opened that door. He fell on me. My skirt flew up.

My life is shit.

“I knew it. I mean, I knew I recognized that ass from somewhere. Bloody hell, IT WAS YOU!” James practically screams. Thank God no ones in the dormitory!

“Shut your mouth!” I cover his mouth with my hands and roll on him so I’m on top.

“You listen up, and you listen up good: If you don’t shut that hole in your face I’m going to shut it for you, understand?”

But when I let go he seems less than intimidated. “Only if it’s your mouth that’s shutting it for me.” He winks.

Oh, God. He winked.

I’m never going to hear the end of this.

“I can’t believe it was you!” James laughs. I feel the pressure of his stomach under me, and I feel laughter under my tummy. I can’t find the words to speak.

“Tell me, why were you running around Hogwarts in the sexiest pair of panties in the wee hours of the morning?”

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“None of your business,” I spit out before I can think. I get up off of James and point towards the door. I don’t care what he has to say to me, he just has to leave. Now.

He gets up and brushes himself off. “This isn’t over yet.” Playful and yet, charming. NOT.

I slam the door in his face, just like I did that the sleepover. It becomes more and more entertaining every time I do it. And it's quite satisfying; almost like therapy. I miserable get undressed out of my uniform, put on a McFly band tee, and a pair of jeans, and head for the Great Hall.

“I’m finished.”

“What are you on about?” Jessica asks, shoving mashed potatoes in her mouth. It’s dinner time and we’re sitting in the Great Hall, but at the end of the table; the farthest away from James.

I bang my head against my empty plate.

“Oi. You made me sit at the end of the table tonight and you didn’t tell me why. You’ve been looking melancholy ever since I met up with you outside the Great Hall. And you haven’t even eaten a morsel since we’ve sat down. You’re going to tell me why you have SCREW MY LIFE stamped on your forehead.”

Ah, the rude awakening known as Jessica Finelly.

“I ran into James. He saw my underwear. I forgot to change them before I went to sleep last night, so he saw the panties. THE panties.”

“HONEY COVERED FUDGE NUGGETS!” Jessica drops her fork.

“Hey, lower your voice!” I say hurriedly.

“What were you two doing that made your undies visible?!” Jessica bursts.

“I know! I can’t believe he knows it’s me. After we did so good at hiding it last night- excuse me?”

I can’t believe this. My best friend is more interested in how James saw my panties than the real situation at hand. HE KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE WITHOUT CLOTHES.

“That’s not the main focus!” I argue.


I give her the Evans glare. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Think about what?” She says innocently, taking a bite out of her biscuit.

“Nothing happened with James and I. So don’t think that for a second.”

“Oh, that’s not what I was really thinking about,” Jessica says, smirking at me.

“Really?” I ask even though it doesn’t sound like a question.

“You called him James.” She smiles with her dimples.

I blink.

“Ah, yes. You did indeed call him James. Not Potter,” she repeats again, taking my own plate and filling it with pasta.

I fumble for the right words but she puts the plate, filled up with food, in front of me and says, “That’s not important. We’ll talk about that later. Just tell me how he found out it was you.” She gives me this look.

It’s a look that read: I’m off the hook, for now.

Well, damn, I’m taking that advantage!

“He fell on me, and we landed on the ground. In a fumble, my skirt flew up and he saw them.”

“Well at least he got a good view…”

“Jessica!” I hit her shoulder.

She sticks her tongue out.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking. I want to do something devious again.”

“Not again. You already went around Hogwarts parading yourself for all of James to see.”

“Stop that,” I say quickly, ignoring her obvious banter/teasing. “Instead of those dares, why not pull a prank on one of the marauders?”

“Hm? Why so interested?”

I pull out my Lily List and she reads it. “Lily, this is genius! I should totally make one…”

I smile. “But what does this have to do with pranking the boys?” Jess asks, confused.

“Read number nine,” I say with dancing eyes.

“Oh, wow. That has his name all over it!”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it.”


We come back to the common room after dinner. I had chosen a new book to read from the library, so of course you can just picture me sitting on the couch reading it right about now. Jessica goes to sit near the window to play some wizards’ chess with one of the younger members of Gryffindor. Peter is reading what looks like a letter from home in the armchair. Sirius and Remus are playing exploding snap near the portrait hole. Frank Longbottom is talking to a rather dark haired and hazel eyed boy next to the television. An infomercial for a special mop is on the television.

Woah, Frank and James? Why are they talking?

You don’t think that James is… asking Frank for advice? No, no he can’t.

I don’t think any of the marauders have made any meetings with Frank, and it doesn’t look like he’s asking him to help him out. I mean there are some reasons to back this up. One: he has NOTHING to ask advice about. Honestly, he sees me nearly nude and he doesn’t know what to do? Two: Frank only schedules meetings at his picnic table outside during the day. I’ve never seen him give his service in the common room before.

They’re probably talking about manly things. Er, what do boys talk about?

Tonka trucks? Hah, I don’t think so. They’re not five.

Quidditch? No. Frank isn’t really that much of a fan and the season doesn’t start until November.

Boobs? Well, they are Gryffindor boys.

“Eat it, Max!” I hear Jessica proclaim. I turn my head around and see her defeat the Third Year in wizards’ chess. He looks like he’s gonna cry.

“Stick that in your juice box and suck it! Come on, cough it up. Four galleons.” She sticks her hand out. Max is looking forlorn as he gets the money out from his robes.

“Jessica, you did not just gamble a Third Year at chess!” I say to her.

“Of course not,” she says. “It was wizards’ chess.”

I sigh and look up at the heavens.

After she collects her money, Jess walks passed me to say she’s going to bed. I continue reading the book in my hands. But not without glancing towards the plasma screen; James and Frank are still standing next to the TV talking. I don’t know why it’s interesting me so much. Maybe I’ll just ask Frank later? Nah, he’d think I was nosy. And I’m not. I’m only nosy in my head. You know, in my thoughts. Nothing more. Nothing more, I say! I don’t speak my mind that much, everyone knows that. Well, not everyone, considering it’s all in my head and I don’t speak it, so how can everyone know?

I’m a nutter, why am I talking about this?


I shake my head, getting rid of any thoughts including James, and turn to the first page of my novel. Ah, a fresh new story. It’s about a boy who grows up in India by himself and-


Remus takes a seat next to me.

I turn my head slightly and give him a cock-eyed look.


He turns his mouth to a certain angle and says, “That doesn’t sound like an asking kind of ‘what’; it sounds like an annoyed ‘what’ that doesn’t need a question mark.”

I sigh. “What is it, Remus?”

“Did you resolve that little thing with James?”

“Little thing? First off, Remus, you’re his mate. YOU ask him. Don’t just come to me at some random moment after dinner and expect an explanation for what ever is going on between him and I. Second off, there’s nothing going on between him and me, so there isn’t a problem to resolve. Goodbye.” I try to concentrate on my book again. I’m still on the first page.

“I thought I told you, he doesn’t share anything between you and him now. It’s different this year. Didn’t we discuss that topic? And to clarify that ‘little thing’ you’re not willing to mention; you’re not talking to him and earlier this year he wasn’t talking to you either. After that whole thing with Diggory, he was living inside his head for a long time. And of course, I’ve been his good mate for years, but that doesn’t mean I know how to handle situations where he ignores us. Obviously I wouldn’t come to you if I didn’t already talk to Prongs, or try to. Can’t you see that?” Remus sounds frustrated.

Join the club.

“He was acting a bit more normal these past couple of days, but James is doing it again. He’s an internal recluse to himself; or his friends rather. I haven’t decided. The James I know wouldn’t pull this kind of thing twice. He’s having a repetition. And I’m not a fan of it the second time around, considering it was annoying me to pieces the first time he was acting like this.”

I sigh again. It’s really become a breathing hobby of mine now-a-days. “Look, I appreciate the fact that you have the decency to share this heart felt bros over hoes love you have for Potter. Really, I understand that you love him like a brother. It’s understandable; you’ve been with him for years. And I’ve been with him longer, and yet I haven’t figured him out. He’s changed enough over the years to shock even those that thought they knew him all along,” I say, a bit hesitantly. To think we used to be best friends…

“Been with him?” Remus asks quirkily.

“Smart ass, you know what I mean. I’ve known him all my life, and if I can’t figure out these ‘little things’ on my own, then you know that you can’t come to me for help.”

He almost laughs. “I’m not coming to you for help. Maybe you don’t understand what I’m trying to say.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Maybe I don’t understand what you’re trying to say? The last time you came up to me to talk about this, you told me to find a way to make James change back to how he was before. The last time I remember you coming up to me, YOU asked ME for help on what to do about it. What ever I did to fix that thing with him, it kind of worked, and it kind of didn’t. Honestly, that ‘little thing’ you keep mentioning is starting to piss me off. It’s not a problem. It’s the usual banter between James Potter and I. Why should this be any different than all the others? And I’m NOT trying to avoid talking about it or mentioning it, just so you know. It’s just… Unnecessary to discuss it.”

He props his foot on the table, leans back on the couch, and throws his hands up in the air.

“Don’t you care about this at all?! You must have realized that this isn’t the usual banter. Something hit the both of you, hard; just like I told you before. You don’t feel like this is changing anything and I don’t understand why you can’t just give me some insight on what’s going on in his head-”

“As if I know what’s going on in his head! He doesn’t listen to me like that anymore. We’re not nine-”

“How can you see the differences in him and not be confused by it?!”

“Oh! Don’t even! He’s complicated my life five times as much this year. Everything I worry about, every tiny thing that confuses me… it’s all because of Potter.” I’m careful to not call him James.

“Pfft. You’re not even trying to work things out! You’re just trying to fight fire with fire, I’ve noticed that-”

“Shut. Up. I’ve grown accustomed to things like this-”

“NOT things like this! The second time, Lily, the second time his attitude is jumping to different intervals. This can’t continue! I care about him enough to try and let him know that he’s changing when he does this. Prongs doesn’t see it. He’s blind to how others are seeing him now-”

“He seemed like his normal self today when he cornered me outside the girls’ Sixth Year dormitory!”

Remus and I are practically huffing at each other. We stop for a couple seconds to catch our breath.

“He’s over it, okay? I ran into Potter only once today; the first time in days- and he was acting like the same James Potter since First Year. What ever kind of attitude he was having before, it ended today- before dinner.”

“Something’s not right…” Remus furrows his eyebrows and scratches his chin. “If you’re saying that he acted like the same old Prongs today when he talked to you then something has to be out of order. For the passed couple of days until day, he was ignoring us and acting different. But since I haven’t tried to talk to him about it today, I’m guessing tomorrow it’s just going to blow other then… Right?”


I mimic Remus’s stance and prop my chin in my hands and lean my elbow on the arm of the couch.

“Don’t mock me, Evans,” Remus says rather heatedly.


“Hah! Where have I heard that before…?” I roll my eyes. We look at each other, annoyed and disgruntled. But still polite enough not to get mad at each other and let the heat get the best of us. I don’t know how we manage to pull off a polite atmosphere, but that’s just what every conversation is like with him. Arguing with Remus is like discussing friendly football and rugby critiques with your father, cousin, or Aunty Betsy. Er, never mind. Not Aunt Betsy; she’s quite…Fierce, when it comes to football.

“Sixth Year is driving me mad.”

I grunt. “You’ve got to be kidding me right now.”

“I’m just letting you know, Lily…”

“I frickin’ know, Remus. And when James Potter wants to grow up to be a big boy and grow some-”

“Lily-” Remus interrupts strongly, as if warning me not to finish my sentence.

I squint at this.

“…When he gains some maturity,” I say as a substitute for my original words, with a grimace. Remus nods approvingly and I continue. “And when he finds the courage to actually confess what’s so forcefully been shoved up his bum-”

Remus’s face looks disappointed with my grammar.

“Oh, suck it,” I conclude. “You can go now, Professor Lupin. I get the point, and you get what I told you, so scram.”

He tilts his head to the side. “You called me professor.”

I look around the room. Is there another Remus I didn’t know about?

“Yes. I did,” I say boringly, opening my book again.

“Hm…” Remus thinks to himself as he gets up and leaves me, looking deep in thought at me calling him a professor.


Oh, what ever. Back to my book! My long waited and anticipated story of a orphan raised without-


Mother of Frank Longbottom, must you keep sending your child to Hogwarts?

I stare straight ahead, annoyed. “It’s alright, Frank. I’ll eventually turn the next page of my book within the next year, so please continue.” Can’t I at least turn to page two!?

Frank looks blank, like he doesn’t understand the fuss around me.

“Okay, what ever,” he says quickly, dismissing my annoyed attitude with weird hand movements.

“I need to know something.”

“Why does everyone think they can come to me for all the answers!? I’m not a damn encyclopedia. What could I possibly offer to you? You know everything!” I toss my book behind my head, almost across the room, tripping a Second Year walking down the steps.

Frank looks at me like I’ve grown another head. He looks back at the kid I threw my book at, and then he fixes himself on the couch. His face can be read easily. He’s giving me the ‘my god, you’re a violent little girl look’ mixed with Frank’s own twist on the ‘wtf’ face.

“No need to be on your period right now, Evans. It’s not that time of the month,” he says to me incredulously.

I glare at him as my eyes turn into slits.

“Chicks…” He rolls his eyes.

“Point of this visit is what?” I ask, aggravated.

“I have some personal questions for you.”


“What do you mean why? I have questions.”

I close my eyes and ask God for patience.

“No. I mean why do you have personal questions for me out of no where?”

“Oh. Right. Well. Certain events have come up and there are some situations that would be much easier for me to comprehend if they could clear up and make sense. You know, get all the parts and put it together; like a puzzle.”

“May I ask what certain events you are referring to?” I think have a hunch. His eyes go around the room and rest on James. Frank looks back at me, knowing I saw him in this transaction.

Said hunch was indeed correct.

“Wait, did Potter come to you for advice or something?” I say, getting a bit nosy.

He chuckles. “I am in no position or have the legal responsibility to answer those kinds of questions.”

I don’t speak. I just stare at the mystery that is Frank Longbottom.

“Okay…” I say slowly.

“Anyway, onto the real meat of this conversation-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” I start, cutting him off in the process. I put a hand up in front of Frank.


“Yes, meat,” he replies plainly. As if talking to me like this is some sort of hobby of his.

“What makes you think that I’m going to tell you anything? Or tell you the truth, for that matter?” I cross my arms.

He clasps his hands together, imitating Corleone in The Godfather.

“I know your going to tell me things, Red. I wouldn’t have come over here if I didn’t think so. And, I can tell if you’re lying.”

“Don’t call me Red.” My lips are pursed together.

I am defeated.

“There really is no fighting with you, is there Frank?”

“I’m glad you’ve finally caught on.” He turns his body on the couch so he’s facing me fully.

“If only Jessica Finelly was as bright as you and would get the hint.”

“Hey, now-”

“Ah, stop talking. I didn’t come here to talk about Jessica.”

For some reason I feel like smiling at his words.

“She really tickles your nerve, doesn’t she?”

“If you must know, yes; Finelly knows exactly what she does to drive me nuts. It annoys me and angers me to no end. Mainly because she has nothing better to do than push me to the limit.”

I chuckle. You know, in a way- not the completely same way, though because that would be impossible- Jessica is like Frank’s James Potter. James knows exactly what he does to drive me crazy, just like what Jessica’s doing to Frank. Except those two people are WAY different than James and I. Of course no one else in the world could compare to our behavior, not even Jessica and Frank. And that’s the sad thing.

I’m all alone. No one to run to for help!

“So, what kind of things has she done to you lately?” I ask him, trying to push the topic of conversation to make it about him.

“Don’t think you’re going to change the subject that easily, Evans.”

“Damn you.”

He laughs. I gape.

Did I say that out loud?!

I blink a couple times. WHAT IS GOING ON?

First I reconcile James’s name and call him ny his first name (only in my mind), then I accidentally use it in the open with Jessica, and now- everything I’m thinking in my head is being blurted out of my mouth without my consent!

NO, REALLY. I’m starting to think I have no control over what I say anymore.

It’s that darn little man. The one taking cover behind the brick walls of my mind. Formerly known as the He/She/It Inside My Head, I have come to the conclusion that it might be many things; but most likely a guy. So, get used to me calling him Little Man once and a while. Why, you ask?


There’s this little thing called sanity. And while I was contemplating if I had any at all, the idea dawned on me that the sex of the mutant in my brain is mostly likely going to be male. I don’t have good luck with the opposite sex. Everything that has to do with me and boys, even romantically, becomes confusing/frustrating, annoying to worry about, aggravating to obsess about, and eventually turns to shit. So in other words, the man inside my head WANTS my mind to cave in.

This is also the goal of James Potter. So, thank you, James. This is for you.

Be proud.

“Mind you, these questions are personal. Any minute now I’ll ask you them. But, I hope that you’ll find it in you to tell me in a way that you can deal with yourself. So you don’t feel guilty or uncomfortable, alright? I’ve never done this before and I don’t want to make you feel like shit. You seem to be doing that well on you own.”

The side of my mouth lifts up in a smile.

Did Frank just say he cared about me? In some way, did he just show friendship in saying what he did? I can’t help but smile.

“Oh, fuck. Don’t do that,” he whines, looking around the room and adverting his eyes.

“You trust me, don’t you? Or maybe, you think of me as a friend? You have a heart, Longbottom. Somewhere under that therapist, that doctor, that lawyer, that testosterone… you have a heart.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t trust anyone. I haven’t trusted anyone in a while and I’m not resurrecting any old traditions any time soon. I also do not think of you as a friend. I’ve come to realize that I don’t really choose who my friends are. What’s the difference between those that come to me to talk and the ones I run into to and converse with? There’s not really a difference between mates and ‘friends’,” he says, using air quotes.

“Wait a minute. You’re saying you don’t have any best mates?”

“No, no. Don’t do that either, Red. You make it sound like a bad thing. I’ve come to realize I’m not like other Gryffies. It’s not a problem. It’s a gift, well… I think it’s a gift; it was given to me for a reason. My talks, they must be worth something.”

“But, wait. You have all this responsibility to worry about others and you don’t even get a choice in creating a social atmosphere for yourself! And don’t call me Red.” I cannot believe it. Frank has sold his soul to helping others. And he called me Red again!

“Don’t psychoanalyze me, damn it. I’m no saint. Sometimes, I’m a bit of a pervert. Also, I don’t really like Quidditch. And honestly, If I’m not talking, I’m most likely listening to music on my discman. I detest Ipods. I’m a regular bloke with different views on life and weird opinions, ideas, and thoughts on things most people overlook. I’m fine with it. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not as much as a responsibility than it is a way for me to spend my time doing something I’m good at. Everyone else has a talent. This is my thing.”

“What ever you say, Frank.” I give up. Frank’s good at this. He’s not a Quidditch fan. He loves music. And he’s a pervert. There you go.

“Can we actually get to the questions now? Do you mind?” Frank’s face turns from content to annoyed.

“Fine, mister I’m No Saint.”

He laughs blackly. “You’re hilarious.” Oh, the sarcasm.

“I really am.” I innocently smile at him, trying to pull of the dimples like Jessica. But to no avail, I remember I don’t have dimples.

“On to the demands...”

“Okay, I’m ready.” I square myself with him.

“When the party in the Gryffindor common room started, and all that stuff happened with Diggory… were you shaken up by it?”

“You mean like ‘I was flipped upside down repeatedly until I puked’ kind of shaken up?”

“Ew. NO.” I try not to smile at the face he’s making.

“Did you think about how you knew Amos Diggory before the party? Did you contemplate why it happened? Stuff like that. Did it shake you up in that sense?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t believe it. I honestly thought he was a good person. I didn’t think he was that much of an arrogant prick.”

“Well said,” Frank tells me, impressed with what I called Amos. He claps once.

“Right, moving on. Do you know why James was ignoring you after the party?”

I look down. “No.”

“Did you have any idea why James pushed himself away from you?”

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I had no idea,” I say sadly. I felt like shit those weeks. All he did was help me, and I was so taken aback by Diggory and James’s actions for caring about me. He just ran away like a stupid little boy, and ignored me; ergo, making me feel like crap. Hell, I invented crap. I mean, HELLO! Take a glimpse at the True Hollywood Story of Lily Evans.

Frank sighs. “Okay. I know Remus was talking to you earlier, and I know that you two glanced at us. Was he asking you about James’s disturbing behavior acting up again?”

I’m dumbstruck. “You know about that?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He cracks his knuckles and asks me another question.

“What happened today between you and James?” I look at Frank fully, just to make sure he really just asked me that. “Don’t tell me that he talked to you about that,” I spit out at him.

“Now, now. Calm yourself. I’m not saying he did or didn’t. But I can tell something happened today. I’ve been observing his attitude and what he does when he’s with his mates. He’s acting different. This isn’t the first time… But today, it stopped. Do you want to share that with me?”


“I’m going to leave out some details. But mainly, he flat out told me that he could outsmart me in any game that I was willing to play with him.” I lean back on the pillows. Did you think I was going to share the bit about falling down on top of each other and reveal what kind of undies I had on? Like hell I was.

“Thank you, Evans. That’s all I need.” He lifts himself from the sofa and walks up the stairs to the Sixth Year boys’ dormitory.

Hm? Did that just happen?

All these weird encounters tonight… I dunno about it. Kind of eerie, isn’t it? Like this is some sort of sitcom Dumbledore tunes in to watch every night… Alright, now I’m taking that a bit too far.

I glance around the room to find it surprisingly empty. Almost everyone’s gone to bed. I retrieve the book I threw across the room and I sit on the ground, leaning my back on the coffee table, and position my book on my knees. I stare at the empty chimney. Finally, some peace and quiet for my book! In my peripheral vision I see someone come and stand in front of me. My eyes bulge at this and I try to ignore it.

Maybe if I pretend that what happened today never really occurred… I might just learn to live with it and move on? I’ll just try to act as if he never saw my underwear at all. I concentrate so hard on the page of the novel that I start to get a headache. And I start to sweat.

“I won’t tell him,” James says to me quietly.

I lift my head up and look at James. His hands are in his pockets and he’s looking down at the floor.

“What?” For the first time in a while, my mouth truly drops down to my knees.

“Do I honestly need to repeat myself?” He doesn’t say it as if I it’s a question.

“I don’t understand,” I say. I am so shocked. He must be pulling my leg…

“I won’t tell Sirius it was you,” he states. James is looking at me straight in the face. Not tell Sirius? His best mate? James’s right hand man? I must be delusional. James can’t be serious.

“He’s your best friend, you tell each other everything,” I say as if it’s not obvious.

“One secret won’t kill him.” There’s that damn twinkle in his eye. Yep, those behavior adjustments he went through definitely ended today. “Are you serious?” I ask.

“Nope. I’m James.” Before I can open my mouth to yell at him he interrupts me again, with a chuckle in his voice. “There are always going to be some things best mates will keep from each other; this being one of them.” He gives me a small smile, kind of.

Did that honestly just occur in front of my eyes, sweet earth?

James Potter isn’t going to rat me out to his BFF?

That’s so- Respectful? Well, in a way.

Sweet? No. No. James is not sweet. What he’s doing definitely isn’t sweet. Nope. Absolutely no way.

Fair? Eh, okay. That seems suitable, I think.

James is walking up the stairs to bed. “Besides, I’ve got one hell of a mental picture of you to keep in my mind. It would spoil my fantasy if I shared it with Sirius.”

No, James doesn’t do ‘sweet’.

I'm done with chapter 16!!! OH, and please don't say anything about the grammar and the flow of the story, I know this chappie is a bit random and choppy >_<
Review please! And hey, lemme know your favorite quotes! I love reading those :]

Leslie Toudren.
Yes, the rich girl who snogged James.

Alessandra Ambrossio. LOL. Just picture her with blonde hair.

Chapter 17: Friends, Fights, And Freaky Librarians
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“Wow. I never thought I’d say this, but… that was really sweet of him,” Jessica comments.

My face becomes flat.


“I could just tell he was smirking the entire way up the stairs after that last comment!” I argue, as we walk our way to Potions.

“So?” Emma questions as she tags along. Emma’s going to the library, so she thought she’d walk with us until we entered Slughorn’s classroom.

So,” I emphasize, “Smirks and smart ass-ness do not go under the file name SWEET.”

“Still. What James did was very sweet,” Emma presses on.

“Stop. Saying. That.”

“He’s human, Lily, and, for Merlin’s sake- he’s a Gryffindor; he’s bound to have a good amount of decency in him,” Jess debates. We pass a group of giggling Third Years staring at Frank Longbottom while he’s trying to fix his fly. Apparently he walked in the hallway with his fly down revealing Superman covered boxers. Jessica notices this and huffs.

I ignore her. My head is too focused on this counter argument to care about it. 

Decent? Let me tell you about decent.” I straighten my back and fix my bag around my shoulders, adjusting the collar of my uniform while doing so.

“Here we go…” Jessica rolls her eyes for what she knows is coming, and looks off to the side.

“Decent is like that good sweater- you know, the one that keeps you warm even if it’s fallen apart over the years. And it’s decent enough to wear instead of your itchy wool tights. Tights are not decent; they were created by someone with the intention of creating massive wedgies and awkward situations involving someone’s backside, and finding it amusing enough for their own disturbing pleasure. James Potter is that pair of tights.”

“…So James is up your butt?” Jess asks bluntly, not understanding my metaphors too well. I sigh. “Never mind, Jess. Potter isn’t sweet, case and point,” I finish.

“What ever you say,” Emma trails off, in a voice that shows she’s less than convinced. I turn to face her. She’s wearing a smile.

“You’re lucky I’m not in the mood to beat you up. I mean, I would, but then I’d destroy your one chance at happiness with Sirius Black.”

“Oh, God. Never did I think the day would come when those words would come out of your mouth,” Jessica sluggishly comments. I grimace. “You’re right. That’s going to have to take some getting used to…” I scratch the top of my head, pondering about the odd couple. Well, the soon-to-be odd couple.

“You still haven’t talked to him, have you?” Jessica forcefully looks at Emma in the face, a method she uses when ever she really wants to know the truth; that, and the fact that Emma is terrible at lying under extreme pressures. Yeah, Jessica’s face is indeed that extremely pressuring.

“Don’t make me say it, Jessica. You know that I haven’t. But don’t worry, guys, I promise to try and make an effort today,” she tells us with dancing eyes. The kind of dancing eyes that reveal daydreaming- her head is completely in the clouds. She’s either in awe of Sirius (Pfft, AS IF) or she has something on her mind including Sirius, and it’s quite entertaining to her.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask her. Emma looks like a deer in headlights. Apparently she didn’t think I’d catch her while her head was elsewhere, rather than with us. “Uh, nothing-”

“SPIT IT OUT,” Jessica quickly shouts, impatient.

“I was just thinking of how he would react when I approached him, that’s all,” Emma mumbles. “Maybe like one of those happy endings…”

I narrow my eyes at Jess. “You’ve been having quite the temper lately. What’s the deal?”

“It’s between me and what’s-his-face,” Jessica gestures with her hand, shaking it violently above her head. I’m guessing that’s her way of dismissing further questions on that topic?

“That was such a Frank move, love,” I chuckle. Jess looks dangerous. I continue talking, in the hopes of her NOT biting my head off.

“Come on! You know what kind of hand signals Frank is capable of pulling off. He could conduct a symphony orchestra and give directions on how to fly a plane at the same time without speaking if he wanted to,” I say, defending myself.

“Why can’t I have my own concept of gestures? Must everyone in the world be judged on how Frank-y their hand indications are!?” She’s huffing now as she shields her pride.

“Calm down, jeez. All Lily was saying was that she’s seen Frank’s hand movements and it looked similar to yours.”

“Thank you, Emma!” I glance over at Jessica with a smug look on my face. Jessica sticks her tongue out at me, pulling down her bottom eyelid with her finger at the same time. She looks like she belongs in an Anime.

“Stop watching those Anime re-runs on television, Jess,” I say lightly. “Sooner or later you’re going to get your hair cut and walk around trying to trade your Pokemon.”

“Humph! As if there’s anything wrong with watching Anime on Sunday mornings. They’re bloody addictive! I never really knew how talented the artists are at creating their characters. My cousin Clarissa, she was telling me about this comic book she was reading- I think it was called a Manga? Anyway, she let me borrow the book for a couple weeks and I fell in love with this one guy.”

“You WOULD fall for a fictional character,” I tell her, rolling my eyes.

“He was really hot! It’s not my fault he isn’t real…”

“You have a boyfriend, you know. Does Jeff have any clue about your Manga affairs?”

“HA. HA.” Jessica gives me a sarcastic looking face.

Emma chuckles. “So you have a crush on a drawing?”

“You make it sound weirder than it seems! That drawing was fit as a brick. The artist can easily go and erase him at any time. I mean, it’s not my problem to deal with, erasing people I think are cute,” Jessica replies.

“Er, right. That totally makes sense.”

“Shut up, Lily. Let me have my little crush.”

“Hey, I’m not saying anything! It’s just a bit bizarre. And kind of kooky. Her I am, Lilian Evans. No boyfriend. No boy toy-” Emma coughs rather loudly, cutting me off. I snarl at her. “No man for me, whatsoever. And then there’s you,” I point to Jess.


“You have a boyfriend! Someone to hug and kiss you! A guy that could serenade you to sleep if he wanted to; and you’re crushing on an Anime character. Unbelievable.” I shake my head in fake disappointment.

“Wait, now. Any girl can fancy someone who isn’t real! You don’t need to have a man or not have a man to have that privilege. Take Mr. Darcy for example.”

“You’re relating this to a Jane Austen hit?” Emma asks, with her eyebrows raised.

“He’s not real. None of the foxy men in that play are- all the ones we dream about in our heads; all of them figures of our imagination. We paint a picture in our own heads of what he must look like. It’s his attitude and how he’s described in the book that makes him seem so damn attractive.”

“You have a point,” I reason. “But where’s all the fun of daydreaming about fictional boyfriends when you have the real thing right in front of you?

She gives me her ‘listen to me, you idiot’ look. “My boyfriend’s in frickin’ Australia! Yes, AUSTRALIA. The continent all the way south of absolutely NOWHERE!” She practically belts out, hands clenched in fists. “I’m dating a hot rocker boy who can’t hug me, can’t kiss me, and can’t serenade me to sleep; I’m screwed! Sure he sends me lovely letters and such, but it’s not the same. Honestly, I don’t even think it’s the real thing that’s right in front of me, considering the obvious fact… HE’S NOT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!”

Emma and I are looking at Jessica as if she’s lost it. It wouldn’t be a surprise if she did lose it. It wouldn’t be the first time. Since the she first sentence left her lips, Emma and I stopped walking; so did Jessica. She can’t multitask like that.

I lick my lips and think slowly. “Is there something on your mind, Jess?” There’s no bloody way all this frustration’s come out because of Jeff. I know her like the back of my hand. Jessica’s purse today reveals her short fuse of a temper isn’t to be messed with. Do you think someone with a knock off green alligator-skin bag with teeth marks around the zipper is someone with a lot of patience? Um, NOPE. Those teeth marks came from somewhere, sweetheart.

“Holy blue, Finelly. Shut that hole in your face. No one wants to hear about your relationship problems.”

Oh, no. Not now Frank Longbottom.

“We just passed you and that group of sniggering girls three minutes ago! How in Merlin’s gray undies did you get here before us?” Emma asks him, completely surprised to find that voice belonging to him.

“Ugh, bad visual!” I mentally smack myself.

“Fuck off,” Jessica spits before Frank fully turns his head in her direction.

“Why don’t you show me how that works, Finelly,” Frank almost seethes.

“I’d love to. Give me your wand and I’ll show you where to shove it,” she growls.

“Now, now-” I try to put myself in between their closing frames. Like I’m really going to let Jessica and Frank walk closer to each other? I think not.

“Why don’t you call your boyfriend and ask him to shove his guitar pick up yours. That’d save me the trouble.”

My eyes grow wide. He shouldn’t have ever said anything about Jeff in front of Jessica. I prepare myself by ducking. I don’t want her blaring voice in my ears.

“DICKHEAD! You don’t know what the hell you’re babbling about! And as for certain things protruding out of other people’s bums, you might want to check and see if you put that tampon in sideways, because you’re acting like a real git! You are so insufferable!” There’s smoke coming out of her nostrils. Sweet biscuits, she’s going to explode.

“Let’s stay calm, kids…” I literally have one hand on Frank’s chest and the other on Jessica; I’m keeping them from clawing at each other! This is absurd. The fact that I have to do this on my way to Potions is just beyond me.

“Screw you! I’m more of a man then you are a woman! Everyday you come up to me to start stupid shit, and see which one of us is going to end up taking the piss! I’m insufferable? YOU’RE UNBEARABLY BITCHY!”

“Er, you’re going to be late for Potions…” Emma mumbles to no one in particular. She’s been fidgeting with her hands this whole time. While I’ve been holding the Hoover Dam over here. Thanks, Em. Much appreciated.

“HAH! I’m more of a man than you could ever be! I’m not even a guy and I have more BALLS THAN YOU-”


Jess thinks for a moment before responding. “…WHAT PACKAGE?”

For the first time in my life, I see a side of Frank. A side that looks like it hasn’t made an appearance in years. You know, the kind of face that’s been hibernating for quite some time now... Needless to say, if you really need a mental image, I’ll share a small detail with you: His eyes are turning red.

“I don’t know what your stupid ‘rocker boy’ sees in you!” He used air quotes! TALKING ABOUT JEFF! That is not a good combination in front of Jessica! Has he learned nothing?!

“Don’t fucking start, Longbottom.”

“Why, Finelly? Afraid I’ll finish it?”

“You don’t know me,” Jess bites. Yes, she did the motion with her teeth just now.

“You’re a bloody piranha! Get those damn manhood choppers away from me, you stupid broad!”

“I can’t, for the life of me, understand why a know-it-all prick like you thinks I can be judged.”





“Same hair color, unfortunately not the same intelligence.”

“What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean!?”

“Stereotypically speaking, I’ve met more blondes with a higher IQ, no offense Emma.”
Emma huffs and crosses her arms.

“Why the hell would someone stereotypically speak about higher IQ’s?”

“I was making a stereotypical judgment on your brown locks of dung.” Frank straightens his tie out.

“ARGH!” Jess throws her hands in the air. “Don’t stereotype me! And don’t relate my hair to dung, you poophead!”

“Why can’t I stereotype you? YOU STEREOTYPED ME! All’s fair in-”

“SHOVE. IT. Yes, shove it. Shove it all. All up there, ALL UP THERE,” Jess grunts quickly. “You stereotyped me first!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“You’re mental!” Frank taps her noggin. Jessica angrily swats his hand away.


“You’re off your rocker, Finelly, if you really think I’m going to have this conversation with you.”

“This conversation is far from over, Dungbottom.”

His eyes turn into slits. “Well aren’t you the smart arse.”

“I learn from the best,” Jessica whispers roughly, so only Frank and I can hear. Emma’s head is snapping back and forth. I’m sure she’s snapped her neck enough times that she’s lost the ability to hear anything they spit at each other, so she’s probably resulting in reading their alarming facial looks and very, VERY rude hand gestures.

“I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, Jessica Finelly, but you need to get your boobs on straight and realize that-”

“Realize what? That you’re a loathsome CREEP of nature?”

Apparently Frank finds that offensive.

“I am not a creep! That’s just weird.”

“And utterly strange,” I say more to myself than at Frank and Jess. They both hear me and look at me, pausing in their feud. “Er, sorry?” I squeak. But before I mumble another word they’re back to bickering at each other.

Wow. I tell you what, wow. Never, in all my days, have I heard Frank Longbottom and Jessica Finelly ever have a blown out argument like this. They’re both off their rocker, if you ask me!

I’ve had enough of this; I’m going to be late for Potions if I don’t do something.

My head is throbbing with all the talking and yelling from both sides. I firmly push my hands outward, making them fly back a few feet. I practically pant while doing this. I feel like one of the three girls in Charlie’s Angels, minus the cool moves.


I pant some more.

Frank and Jessica’s faces become emotionless as they stare at me, not expecting me to yell at them. Emma scratches the top of her head. “Alright… BYE!”

I look at Emma. “Don’t leave me like this,” I desperately whine.

“I’m not getting involved!” She hesitantly puts her hands in front of her, signaling she wants out. “See you around…” Emma says slowly, shrugging before she skips along towards the library. Okay, maybe she doesn’t skip; but she’s walking away! And right now, walking away would be a precious feeling of freedom, like skipping. This is basically what I think of it at the moment. A lock down of all limbs. No frolicking legs of any sort. No bits of nature flowing freely.

And if Frank wants to keep his important manly bits… I suggest he backs off, because I can’t hold Jessica away from him any longer. She’s way stronger than I am.

“Let’s postpone this bitch fest, yeah?” I say strongly, still panting.

Jessica glares at Frank. Frank glares at Jessica. Jessica gives him the finger as we resume walking towards the door to Slughorn’s classroom.

Frank walks backwards since he’s in front, looks at us, and grips his crotch.

Today is going to be a beautiful day.


Two words come to mind when I think of the genius that’s put me in this situation.

Professor Slughorn.

I love the man, really. I do. It’s just that he has this habit, or should I say... curse, of going off in tangents and never finishing his original conversations. I’m used to them, really. But today’s a bit different. Our entire Potions class was abruptly halted by Professor Slughorn only ten minutes after he gave us our assignment. I only got two questions finished before I was forced to glance up at the rotund man in front of me, shouting out about some nonsense. He’d gone bonkers. And now forty minutes of our lesson has passed. But let’s start from the beginning…

First he started talking about finding a paper on his desk and how he momentarily hated trees. Then he started petting his thick caterpillar sized mustache that he probably used Velcro to attach, whilst going off at random students for their incompetence and immaturity about Potions and running away like little sissies to Dumbledore. And after that chaos blew over, he announced that he had been receiving complaints. Complaints that students sent in to the headmaster. Apparently people where not enjoying, nor learning from, the assignments he’d leave up on the board for us to work on as soon as we stepped into his classroom. No hands on Potions experiments or projects/essays assigned for groups to present. I usually thought that it just wasn’t his teaching style. I mean, I’m passing with flying colors.

But I guess others are in danger of failing, since they signed a petition stating that Slughorn’s a bit lacking in 'hands on' learning experiences and is incapable of doing his job because he’s so lazy; which is why he hides off in his office five minutes after Potions begins everyday.

Professor Slughorn found this insulting.


So after he sweated out three gallons of pumpkin juice, screaming at us and telling us how ashamed and thoroughly pissed he was, he finally threw his hands up the in the air and said he was going to show how ‘hands on’ he could be. But really, it came out more like a threat. Now everyone’s working with their partners on some burning formula used for certain hair follicles on the back of a centaur. I didn’t understand the point of making such a potion then, and I still don’t understand it now. Did I forget to mention that I’m not working with Jessica? Oh, no. Of course not. My partner in Potions would never be with the only girl that actually gets me.

Slughorn was amazing enough to pair me up with the only boy that annoys the shit out of me. Besides James.

“Why so blue, Red?” Sirius asks, smirking at his own wittiness.

"I not in the mood right now," I say dryly. “Don’t call me Red.”

“Your never in the mood, Ginger,” he says seductively. I roll my eyes.

This Potions project consists of a potion we have to prepare before the end of class, an essay on the substance a couple days after today, and a chart we need to fill out by writing down all of our data and turning it in for our partnered report. This is a weeklong assignment. Kill me, please.

“Don’t frickin’ call me Ginger. I have a name; a real name.” I swear if he calls me anymore of those redhead names I’m going to shove this dragon seed up his bazooka.

“Who cares? Nicknames are the most important names!”

I try to work on our assignment while being verbally abused by some weird kid.

“Why are you looking at me like I’m weird? I don’t look weird.” Sirius coughs up defensively.

I don’t answer him. “Hey, it’s not my fault we were paired up for this project. So chill out.” He leans back in his chair, and props his feet up on the desk.

“Chill out? I’m practically frozen,” I snap in annoyance. He made me lose count of how many goat hairs I have to add in the cauldron!

“Why do thee despise me so greatly?” He asks, talking in Shakespearian time.

“Not again,” I plea. Great, I’m stuck with Mercutio again.

He ignores my plea and bursts out, “Tell me!”

“Tell you what?” I growl.

“Tell me why you despise me.”

I sigh and put down my knife right next to Sirius.

“Sirius, I don’t despise you. But you are really annoying sometimes. The fact is- you haven’t helped me with anything!”

“Er… ” Sirius mumbles, his eyes not resting off the knife.

I purse my lips. “Stop staring at it; I’m not going to stab you.” I move the knife closer to the cauldron, and find his eyes looking forward towards me. Ah, finally some eye contact!

“When I got paired up with you, I knew two things immediately. I was going to have to do all the work, and-”

“Stare at me because I’m sexy?”

“NO. You were going to bug the crap out of me. And I was right. We only have so many minutes left until class is over, and we need to finish this and get it in the tubes!”

“Hey, I can help! I just didn’t know you’d need me- you’re like a genius in Potions; how was I supposed to know you needed help?”

I give him my ‘wtf’ face. “Dude. You’re my partner. Partner’s work together, no matter who’s smarter.”

“No need to get feisty… Wait! I’m not stupid!”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Yes you did. You called yourself smart. If you’re smart then what am I?”

I snigger. Oh, so many possibilities.

He glares at me. “You’re a mean little redheaded girl.” Sirius crosses his arms.

I scoff, pouring the rest of the potion in the two tubes. “Yeah, well I’m the mean little redheaded girl that got this done without you. So be proud of yourself. A girl had to do it all and she didn’t even have your help.” Finally it’s my turn to nag on Sirius. He hates it when his manliness is threatened.

“Are you comparing my standards to that of a girl?” He asks incredulously. “Oh, no you didn’t!” he fires, snapping in Z formation.

I almost drop my cauldron.

“Unlike the boob beings that we like to call women, we men have the ability to be wittier, smarter, and more seductive. Those are three qualities that will help us men rule the world!”

“I think you’re confusing men with boys. Those three qualities you just mentioned don’t just come with an Adam’s apple. And personally, I know that you will not rule the world; we’d all end up in ashes.”


“Also, those three qualities are those that drive a man crazy. What you meant to say was that men have the ability to be more dimwitted, outsmarted, and seduced.” I smile in triumph.

Sirius gawks. I hand him his flask of the potion as the bell rings. I rise from my seat and push my boobs up with pride. “And don’t call us boob beings.” I turn my head and walk out the door, with the flask of the burning follicle formula in my hand.

I make a beeline for the library since I have a free period until Astronomy, so I can at least get a head start on outlining me and Sirius’s project. I don’t care if he’s going to wimp out; I’m getting a good grade on this. As soon as I walk in I notice how packed it is, with students from almost every year. Luckily, I find a seat right next to Madame Pince.

“Miss Evans! Nice to see you back here this morning. It’s a lovely day isn’t it? Oh, I’m so happy the library’s crowded today! Finally, I have something to do. You have no idea how boring it can get in this library when you have no books to check in, or no shelves to organize, or no more stickers to number off your favorite Nancy Drew stories…” She trails off, and ducks under her large library desk. Within seconds, she pops her head up again and slams a heavy book on the desk with a huge slam.

Alright, maybe finding this particular seat available next to Madame Pince probably wasn’t luck…

“Look! I just got the twelfth edition of the Nancy Drew Chronicles!” She exclaims, her eyes popping out of her head in excitement. I just stare at her.

Nancy Drew has chronicles?

What is this, the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe?!

“There’s such a thing as a one thousand page book on her?” I question in amazement. That book is huge. Like humongous Vernon Dursley huge. The spine of the book is practically the same width as the hardback cover.

“Don’t be silly, Miss Evans; IT’S A THOUSAND AND SEVEN HUNDRED PAGES. Gosh, I can’t believe you children can’t find it in your schedules to make sure you know how many pages are in every book you read! I mean the last eleven editions had one thousand and fourteen pages; well- except the third edition. The third edition was shorter than the rest because the stupid publishing company didn’t feel like using the author’s intended ending, so Nancy Drew had to be re-edited. Rotten scoundrels…”

Oh, she is so anal.

“Er, what? You expect us to memorize how many pages there are in every single book we come here to pick up? And you’re surprised that I missed the seven hundred page mark on your Fancy Nancy Shmancy Novel?”

“Her name is Nancy Drew! And it isn’t a novel- IT’S A CHRONICLE! TWELFTH EDITION!” she screeches. “You should agree with me; all you children should know the length of your books, too! You should also clean the pages regularly and file down the pages once a week to maintain perfection. Not that any of you know about that. You boogers think I can’t see when you leave ink marks in my short story collections! Those collections are five hundred pages full of wizard approved fun! And who has to zap them away for the next Second Years that come to pick them up? ME. All the other story collections are around seventy three pages each and are a complete waste of shelf space, but I don’t understand why Dumbledore insists that I keep them-”

“Okay, alright! SORRY!” I say as hurriedly as humanly possible. I turn around in my wooden chair and try to finally adjust myself, and set my Potions book on the desk. “I’ll just get to work here...”

“It’s mine, mine! My book. Chronicles of Nancy Drew, TWELFTH Edition…twelfth…” Madame Pince mumbles, slowly creeping under her desk again, with her… Uh, Holy Bible cradled to her bosom.

I try to get my mind straight and find some sort of quiet space where my head can go. Maybe there’s a bit of space floating in my mind. I could use that for my own peacefulness. Find my own inner quiet aura, that is. I just witnessed a Nancy Drew deranged woman. This is the last time I’m sitting next to Madame Pince. She’s a residential creeper.

She really needs to get out more.

It’s been twenty minutes since I’ve been researching this follicle thing. I’m getting some notes on how it reacts. And in a couple days, chemical changes are going to happen. I think it has something to do with the fact that it’s a hair burning formula for a centaur. Because all this information about centaur hairs is freaking me out. So the potion has to… ready itself? It goes through a lot of stages, apparently, and the outcome can be in a whole bunch of varieties. It could be murky looking and could  be taken digestively, or it could be grotesque and brown and look like dung, etc.

Huh, that’s weird. You don’t even have to ingest it, they say. You can spot the treatment on any of the centaur’s hairs if it’s finished at the right stage.

I hear the creak of a chair etch itself into my ears; someone’s taken a seat across from me.


I look up.

“Hey, there,” he says uninterestedly, as if he didn’t care about saying hello, he just wanted to take a seat.

I wave pathetically. “Funny running into you here, Crotch Boy,” I say.

Frank just waves back at me without an insult to what I called him.

He never waves. Well, from the time that I’ve gotten to know him this year, he doesn’t wave.

He’s looking around me, as if he’s afraid someone’s going to find him or something.

I glance around me, and land back on Frank Longbottom. “What?” I say hesitantly. “Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not nervous.” He stops fidgeting, and brushes his shaggy hair away from his face. He unbuttons the top of his shirt, making his uniform look messier than usual. He pants a bit, as if he’s just ran a mile. “Is it hot in here or is it just me?” he questions, but it sounds more like a groan.

My eyebrows knit together as I look at him thoroughly. “Are you…scared of something?” I close my book quickly, and take a look back at Frank to see his reaction.

He hesitantly looks behind him. “No, not at all.”

I am amused.

“Is Jessica running after you with a blow torch or something?” I ask sweetly, raising my eyebrows like I’m some sort of fairy godmother.

“I find that voice very demeaning. Don’t speak me to me like that again, I’m not a baby,” Frank retorts quite quickly. CORRECTION: at lightning speed.

“What can I do for you, then? You’re not nervous, or scared, or cold. You’re the one that sat in front me, mind you. If you’re not going to say something you might as well leave.”

He actually has the nerve to roll his eyes. “I was just bored. I thought I’d come in here to relax.”

“Right,” I say disbelievingly. “That’s why it looks like your uniform has just vomited all over you and you have sweat stuck to your brow and you look like you’ve just run a marathon.”

“Uncanny and indecisive,” Frank says suddenly, making himself comfortable by leaning back in the chair.

It takes me a while to get what he’s just said. “Wait, you think I’m uncanny and indecisive?” Unbelievable. He’s already got me described in two words, and he just randomly says them while I’m talking!

“You could say that.”

I raise my eyebrow, copying Mr. Bean. Frank bursts out laughing and drops the chair back into place.

“You look like that guy from Johnny English.”

Feeling secretly satisfied that I actually made Frank laugh, I straighten my back out and look him in the eye.

“Why have you portrayed me so?”

He tilts his head to the side. “I dunno. Something about you is kinda strange. I think that you see things differently. I guess you and me have that in common. You seem like the type that lives in her head, so you probably think in a completely unusual way. And I also see that you’re a bit hesitant and uncertain when you do things. Like your afraid your mind won’t approve.”

I’m speechless. I think about the he/she/it living in my mind and how it’s probably lounging in my ear canal, watching a Spanish soap opera. I also remember those few moments, the more recent ones, where I can’t make up my mind.

I.E. every day of my life.

“Now don’t get mad, but I’ve been observing you lately. You and James both. Sometimes it seems like you two switch personalities. Which would explain all his strange behavior from before, and you’re ability to be kind of devious. It’s like you get his marauder wit. And he just becomes a shell of what he is. Both of you seem to be like one without the other, and sometimes- I can feel it. Only when you two are near each other, though. There’s this…energy, I guess you could call it. And since there are parts of you that are immensely diverse, James knows somehow, how to shake those diverse parts of you because it can make you tick. But you, and don’t think I haven’t noticed, glance a lot and look away at random moments when he’s face to face with you.”

He fixes himself so his elbows are resting on the desk. “I catch you staring into space sometimes. Some stuff has shaken you up, eh? That is something your body goes through while you’re being indecisive, like I’ve just concluded.” He knocks on the desk repeatedly with his knuckles, like an old habit, and continues. “What ever you don’t have, James has. What ever he doesn’t have, you seem to be the reason it’s been taken away from him. I dunno if either of you have thought about it, but you both are very interesting people. And you two are more alike than either of you could imagine.”

My shoulders slump. My bottom lip almost flips over.

Longbottom’s just psychoanalyzed me down to the core.

“But- Er, I- WHAT, um...” I stutter.

It’s quiet for a minute as I think about what Frank’s just said aloud. And for some odd reason, I get kind of angry. “You don’t know me,” I snap.

“Maybe not all of you,” he says amusingly. He finds my anger amusing, does he?

“Oh, yeah? And who are you, exactly?” I huff, crossing my arms.

Frank’s face kind of drops, but not in a sad way. Like he’s deeply thinking, and at the same time he’s disappointed. “I know who I am. I’m just not sure if I like who I am.”

“Yes, well-” I stop. Dumbledore's left toe! I think I've just witnessed Frank being honest for the first time! I’m so shocked and taken aback! Awe, Frank!

“But anyway, it doesn’t matter,” Frank nonchalantly hushes away, understanding the uncomfortable features shown on my face. I bite my lip.

“I think your okay.”

He looks up faster than I can say ‘fuckfuckfuck’. This, in reality, is all one word and is said in quite a rush, so that’s pretty fast. It literally takes lets than two seconds to say it if you pronounce it properly. Remember when I made it up? Oh, the events that night; just glorious. I push that little fiasco out of my mind for the moment and find myself staring at a surprised Frank Longbottom.

“…Thank you.”

I nod my head silently, not saying a word.

“I’ve also noticed something else about you.”

“And that would be?” I push.

“You’re kinda loyal.”

I blush slightly, but hide it with a little eye roll. “I am in Gryffindor, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. So is Jessica.”

I purse my lips, ready to defend my best friend. “Listen, I’m not here to rev your engine and say bad things about her,” Frank cautiously tells me, reading the look on my face.

“Then why’d you bring her up?”

“I don’t know.”


“No, really, Evans. All this arguing and such that I go through with her almost everyday, it’s taking my head for a whirlwind. I have no idea why, but I might have a hunch. And I think I’ve figured it out. Actually, just now. This is kind of why I ran all the way to the library. Because this thoroughly freaked me out and I thought I could maybe think things through.”

I lift my hands up. “WAIT, are you trusting me with this? Is that why you’re sharing this with me?”

“Nope. I’m incoherently letting you in on something.”

I smile. “Really.” It’s not a question.

“Don’t taunt. Trust me, I don’t trust anyone.”

“Okay, whatever, go on, say it…” I nag. Just get to the point!

“I think Finelly and me, or maybe just me, have some sick twisted idea in our minds that if we argue with each other, we’re taking out all that internal frustration out. Random frustration. Frustration we make up to make us seem like we have a point to argue. I know it’s crazy, but that’s why I was kind of weirded out when you saw me come in just now. I was hesitant because we came out of Potions not too long ago; and I didn’t want to run into her and argue again, because I wanted to figure this out first, or else it would nag me to no end. That’s why I was running like a pig, up here to the library, cautiously on the look out for Finelly.”

I throw Frank a look.

“Bloody hell, Frank. You’re crazy.”

“What. Ever. Just. Listen,” he spits, obviously annoyed. “I don’t have a reason to argue with her. But for some reason, I can’t stop myself.”

My mind wanders to how Jessica said she felt about her and Frank.

Didn’t she tell me that she had no idea why she was always on his case, but always got in it with him every chance she got?

With my eyes wide, and my fingers doing this weird dance of my recognition, it’s easy to visual me belting out, “WOAH!” out of no where.

“SHUT UP! Nancy Drew time, you mangy mongrel!” Madame Pince has just popped up from her library counter and greeted us with her presence. NOT.

Hold on, was she under there reading her book this ENTIRE time!?

Before I can gather my mind she disappears behind the desk again.

“Somebody stuck a pole up her arse,” Frank bluntly states.

“Hey, Jessica says ‘arse’ kinda weird; did you know that?” My mouth says, before I can stop myself.

He frowns. “Yes, I know she does.” He breathes out his nose and cracks his elbows.

Yeah, I have no idea how someone can crack their elbows but Frank does it somehow.

“The thing is, you’re a decent person; and I wanted to let you know that I don’t plan on skinning Jessica Finelly alive or anything. But I just get carried away with the death threats, you know?” He’s scratching the back of his head.


“I can’t find the reason why I have to verbally battle her all the time; I can’t stop, though. No matter how much I try to find some common ground about it, she just waltzes down the hallway and I just have this big urge to flick her in the face, or throw my shoe at her.”

Uh, who’s confused?


“Then don’t argue with her, obviously. Don’t go anywhere near her.”

His eyes bore into mine for a few long seconds.

“I can’t stop. It’s like an addiction. I can’t pass up the offer to poke fun,” he says strongly.

I suck in my lips and smack them out in realization.
Jessica doesn’t know why she can’t tolerate him.
Frank has no idea he’s always arguing with her.


They’re thinking the same way, and neither knows it!

I laugh out loud.

This is too much fun to share; I’m just going to keep this to myself.

Jessica and Frank – THE SAME! AHAHA.

 “So not funny!” He’s looking alarming. Frank has no idea, does he? Poor fellow probably thinks Jessica wants him burned at the stake.

“Let me give you some advice.” I say this for all the wrong reasons; seeing the reaction on his face being one of them.

He glares at me.
“Don’t think anything of it. You’re not the only one in this position, mkay?”

Frank squints at me with his right eye. “Er, okay?” he tries on.

“Alright,” I say happily, folding my hands.

“Do you live near Jess or something? Because you two seem rather close.”

“I’ve known her since First Year; best mates ever since, and no- she doesn’t live near me. Not terribly far, but just not in the same city. I live in London.”

“Meh,” he says with no desire. He just waves off London.

Frank is NOT allowed to use my word and shoo away my city. “I like living in London,” I defend.

“Everybody likes living in London,” he responds plainly.

“There’s no complication there.”

“What’s wrong with a little bit of complexity in your life? It wouldn’t hurt.” He’s saying this with a pointed smirk.

I hate you, Frank. “My life is nothing but complicated.”

He tilts his head to the side, eyes glistening. “That’s not true,” he tells me in a sing song voice.

“Yes, it is. And it doesn’t help when people annoy me.” I eye his figure.

“I hope your not talking about me.” He folds his hands and rests them on the table.

“What are you doing, then?”

“I’m simply imposing.”

“Hah. Imposing, my ass.”

“Language, Evans,” he taunts with a grin.

“Who are you, Frankie boy? An angel from the heavens that looks over me?”

“Don’t call me Frankie boy, please,” he says exasperatedly.

“I’ll call you whatever I want.” I stick my tongue out.

“Well, aren’t you quite the hostile child.” The sarcasm…It’s appearing like smoke.


“That’s what happens when you’re the baby of the family,” I say, with a bit of gloom in my voice.

He notices this. “You don’t like to talk about your family, do you?”

I snap back to reality, letting go of that momentary sadness. “Hey, it’s my turn to ask you the questions now. And I want answers.”

He looks at me as if I’ve sprouted horns.

“I’m out of here.”

Frank Longbottom leaves me in the middle of the library, and takes off. Now I’m alone. With two awkward Third Years giggling as they look through a book about Cornish Pixies and how they mate, and Madame Pince who’s probably hibernating behind her desk with the Chronicles of Nancy Drew: Twelfth Edition.

Thanks, Frank.


I’m thinking about it again. That dark place in my mind.

Do you remember before I boarded the train to Hogwarts, I had thought about something that was shoved in the back of my head? It had been something I was never fond of talking about, and I’ve only told Jessica. All that’s affected me, every thought that’s made me what I am; it hurts thinking about it again. Through out lunch today, I kept referring back to what Frank said about me, and how he noticed I didn’t like talking about family. It triggered my brain, and I thought about it again.

I’m going to be honest now, just incase it comes up again, there won’t be any confusion. The certain events that caused my insecurities, the things that happened in my life that changed everything…

Maybe the little man in my head will understand.

While I was getting dressed the morning I left for Hogwarts, I thought about how this was my Sixth Year, and I just had one more year until my real life would begin. I thought about old memories, the way things used to be. My mother, my sister, and James…

Three factors that changed big time as I grew up.

I can handle it now, but just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable. As the years progressed, I learned how to hide them in the dark corners of my mind. If I just didn’t think about it, I’d get over it. And I kind of have. But for Frank to notice quickly, and very intently, that I didn’t like thinking about the past, it made me hesitant to think about the future without wandering through my memories. Jessica understood how I was, and why I was, uncanny and indecisive, amongst other things as well.

Petunia, the sister I still love, doesn’t like me anymore. She thinks I’m some weird freak with supernatural powers. She used to be my best friend, kind of. I had a big sister, and I always thought of her as a mother figure, in a way. By this time my mother had already died. And when I got that letter from Hogwarts, everything went to crap. I tried to fit my mind around it, and maybe see it from Petunia’s point of view so I could understand her. And I couldn’t. I wasn’t a mutant, and my epidermis didn’t turn green. I wasn’t going around my house in rags with a mole on my nose and a black pointed hat. All I wanted to do was be accepted by her. And for the first time ever… I felt rejected. I used to be so much more outgoing. But the thing was- my confidence and freedom was slowly disappearing before Petunia started hating me. Before I even ran to her with open arms. I had already changed before I got to that point, way before I got that acceptance letter.

I was friends with James Potter for years. Before I looked up at Petunia for guidance, it was just him and I. Almost every day, we’d play together. And when he slowly started drifting apart from me, that’s when I guess I started changing. Or rather, he started changing. By the time I was with Petunia, in which I drifted towards her because I felt alone, I was almost in shambles. I couldn’t take the loneliness, so I attached myself to Petunia, in a close sisterly sense, and she seemed to be fine with it. James and I were acquaintances for a while, and- again- when my acceptance letter came, he’d completely change on me. I could no longer look at him and recognize who he was. Our friendship by that point… it went away slowly, and that letter from Hogwarts confirmed it to a halt. Honestly, I thought that since we’d be going to the same school, James and I would patch things up again, and everything would go back to normal. Instead, I had to deal with knowing for a fact that I had lost my best friend and my sister fully when that envelope was ripped open. He found friends quickly, and barely even greeted me anymore. But before Petunia, before James, there was my mother. Petunia turned on me when I got the letter, but James had turned on me and started pushing me away when my mom died.

My mother, a muggle born, whom I loved dearly, died when I was 8 and a half. James knew her well, and she would always let me play with him during the day. When she had passed, it was James who lost his interest in me, really. I needed him there, as my crutch. The one person that I knew would be there for me; and he slowly started to leave me alone. I didn’t know what to do about it, because I had to change myself as well. It’s complicated, I know. But I had to change for my father, for my family. Everything was pressured on me, and all I needed was just James to come over and talk to me again, but he didn’t. The days leading to the Hogwarts letter, he had stopped calling me and stopped coming over. It didn’t feel rejected like I did with Petunia, though. No. She was my family, the only thing I really had left, and that was the first time I actually felt rejection. James letting me go was… a change. Not a rejection. Two completely different things.

I still love my sister. I still love my mother.

But I don’t know what to think of James.

And most of all…I HATE change.

That’s why… everything is the way it is. James had started asking me out around the middle of First Year, and I thought he was crazy. But then he never stopped asking me out. I could see his friends laughing, and I felt like crying. It was a cruel joke he was pulling. He hadn’t talked to me in months and then he targeted me as a use of laughter. It was embarrassing, and it hurt. James was mean enough to do that to me, and I got angry at him. How could he? How could he just forget who I was before going to this school? What was I to him? A challenge, of course.

That’s why I never gave him a chance, because he didn’t need one. He didn’t deserve one. James just thought of me as something he pretended to be interested in. And I knew that. James Potter didn’t like me (and he still doesn’t). I had realized that when he had turned into a jerk, I didn’t care about being friends with him. I just let him go, like he did with me, except I didn’t make fun of him. He wanted to push me away, right? Well, I left him alone. He had friends, and I had Jessica. By that point, that was enough for me. I might have respect for him now, but I still think he’s a prick. Maybe not as bad as the other pricks at Hogwarts, but he’s in the top ten for sure, in my opinion.

I had the right to be mad back then, didn’t I?


My eyes met Peter Pettigrew’s as he sat in the armchair across from me in the common room. “Peter?” I ask, surprised to find him talking to me.

He gives a small smile. “Hey. Are you alright? You’ve been looking a bit forlorn since we came back from lunch, and that was a couple hours ago.”

I take a deep breath, and clasp my hands. “That’s nice of you to ask how I’m doing Peter, but I’m fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“…Okay.” He gives me an awkward smile and gets up off the armchair. Jessica quickly fills the space.

She’s beaming, her dimples in full view. This makes me at ease a little. Some good news, I’m guessing?

“Freaking shit, you will not believe what I just saw!”

“Enlighten me,” I say with a smirk. This must be good.

“Emma- Sirius- In hallway- ARGH! I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN…”

A.N. - hey! :] Okay so lemme say this chappie was WAY longer and I had to cut it off by ALOT of pages, because I went past the limit of characters for a chapter! lol well that's a first... Here she is for you, guys! And yes, JAMES IS NEXT :D

Chapter 18: The Basement
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Alright, now - I never really thought this story would go far, and I can't even believe it that I'm already up to the eighteenth chapter of L&B... eighteenth chapter! Sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if I really did write ALL THAT before this chappie; it's amazing when you think about it. When an author creates a story, I think that at one point, they all go through this. But the only reason they DO go through what I'm probably feeling right now is because of YOU. YES, YOU. This chappie is dedicated to everyone who's stuck by me. Every review - every little thing given to me with positive feedback - it's the reason I continued. So don't just tell me that I'm some genius writing this story (i've been getting that alot lately), because you're the one pushing this forward. It's been like that all along, I wrote for you guys :]

And I just wanted to say thank you.

She hyperventilated as she said this so she probably thought I couldn’t hear her; but my ears had already perked up when I heard the first two words stutter out of Jessica Finelly’s mouth. I lift my body from the sofa and adjust how I’m sitting. I feel like a rocket; the way my elbows are up and my hands are propped so I can easily push off… 

If something happened-

“Alrightlemmestartfromthebeginning!” Jessica squeals. Um, HOLD IT. Jess never squeals. Ever!

“Okay, so I was coming back from Transfiguration, and it was such a boring lesson. I like Professor McGonagall and all, but she could have made it a bit more interesting! I mean, I almost started crying-” 

“Focus, Finelly!” I snap abruptly at alarming speed. “Get to it!” 

She looks at me for three seconds, and then begins talking again as if I didn’t just use her last name as a way to push her forward and spill the beans.

“I was walking down the hallway and from the corner of my eye I saw Emma talking to a guy, and I could only see the back of him because he wasn’t facing me, and I knew straight away that it had to be Sirius! Emma was all nervous and the guy was just standing there, nonchalantly crossing his arms. I imagined a smirk appear on his face a couple times. Of course it was Sirius, who else could it have been?”

“Of course it was Sirius,” I say. Jessica and I roll our eyes in unison. 

“Anyway, when I reached the two, and I could finally see them from the side- because I didn’t want to look like a stalker just turning around and putting my head right on top of Emma’s shoulders-”

“Jessica Marie!”

“BUT, ANYWAY! When I could see them from the side, I noticed that Sirius was looking at her with a really funny expression, like he was entertained that she was flailing all over the place and stuttering and throwing arm movements,” she spits in one breath.

Arm movements?! “Oh, Emma…”

Jess takes a breath before she rants out, at a speed like no other, “And so after she spoke, Sirius just kind of nodded his head and just walked away from her! JUST WALKED AWAY! I wanted to KILL him! K-I-L-L, and- yes, I know that you know how to spell ‘kill’, Lily, but I spelled it for you now, so don’t give me that face- Emma was just left there, in complete awe of what she told him. And how he reacted! She couldn’t even register in her mind that he actually walked away before Sirius turned around. Emma was just shocked from what he did that by the time she snapped back to reality and it fully hit her, he ran back up to her. AND THEN GUESS WHAT?!”


“HE RUSHES TOWARDS HER! And the next thing I knew, Sirius had taken his hands and cupped them under Emma’s chin, and kissed her. Right there, in that hallway.” Jessica takes a breather, and falls back on the armchair, crumbling her posture.

“Woah! That’s too cute!” I smile; at least someone’s happy today. “Sirius Black… He’s such a prankster! If a guy walked away from me after I told him something like that…”

“I know! He tricked Emma and me into thinking he didn’t care and walked away… only to come back and smack one on her! It was adorable to witness. I coughed after a minute because, well- it was a long minute and I don’t like staring at people while they snog. So I was grinning from ear to ear and Emma blushed when she saw me. Sirius just smirked and hooked his hands in hers and now I guess they’re a couple.”

“This just happened right now? While coming back from Transfiguration today?” I question.

“Yeah! After the last class of the day, she finally went up and told him how she felt. They walked hand in hand down the hallway but they’re not in here…” She says, taking a couple looks around the common room. It’s crowded today, and our school day ended just a couple minutes ago. We have a lot of Ravenclaws in our common room at the moment. A bit too many, if I say so myself.

Jessica turns back to look at me. “Do you think they went in a room to go snog? After I left them alone I didn’t hear any footsteps behind me, so I’m guessing they went in the opposite direction.”

“Emma? Noooo…” I tell Jessica, emphasizing my ‘no’ in disbelief. “She doesn’t snog in broom closets.”

“I said room,” Jessica corrects.

I purse my lips. “Still. Emma Tebbon isn’t the type to snog in deserted places. Especially with a marauder.”

“Why don’t you start the trend, Lily?” Emma teases with raised eyebrows.

My face is unmoving. “That was so funny. I think I peed a little,” I say in monotone.

Jessica laughs. “Me kidding, me kidding…” She shakes her head, and with one last laugh, instantly becomes serious. She locks eyes with someone behind me.

Jessica Finelly is looking fierce.

“Frank’s just entered the common room, hasn’t he?” I lay my head on a pillow, putting myself in the fetal position. “Gotta go beat up Frank Longbottom, bye,” Jessica scurries to tell me (without taking her eyes off him).

Well, I might be going through a mental limbo, but at least my friends are in high spirits. Emma has Sirius as a boyfriend, Sirius has Emma as a girlfriend, Jessica has Frank to verbally abuse, and Frank has Jessica to… verbally abuse. I frown. All this abuse and I’m the one going crazy.

Two Fourth Years are fighting in front of me, in a dispute about the remote. One’s a Ravenclaw. Figures. They’ve always been the ones to obsess about the History Channel since we’ve gotten plasmas this year. In their quarrel, the remote gets thrown, and it hits me in the face.


I yelp in pain and take a hold of my nose. “Stupid noobs!” I bellow.

They go off running in the opposite direction, and I somehow find myself in possession of the remote. I lie back down on the couch and rub my nose, flipping through the channels. I’m in the mood for intense. I need someone else’s problems to help me get over my mental illness-infused brain, and the pain that’s made my nose start throbbing.

I land on some show called Desperate Housewives. Meh, never heard of it.

Don’t give me that face.

_later in the evening_ 
Jessica and I walk down the corridor. We’re just coming from dinner, and boy, was that grilled chicken salad delicious! I actually ate less tonight, since I noticed my shorts were getting a bit tight around the tummy. Jessica on the other hand, downed an entire calf.

Alright, that was a bit over dramatized, but you know what I mean. She didn’t stop eating after that bowl of ravioli! Jess just kept on filling up her plate, and topped off the end of the night with carrot cake. And this resulted in the stomach ache that she’s been complaining about since we got up from our seats at the Gryffindor table. “I am. Going. To die,” Jessica slowly says to me, taking breaths between her words. She’s rubbing her tummy affectionately. “Oh, why can’t I just eat with out the pain,” she says with sorrow.

“Maybe the pain is a sign. A sign for you to stop eating, obviously,” I chuckle.

“You know what? I’m gonna meet up with you later. I gotta use the bathroom…” I look at Jessica’s retreating figure as she walks down the opposite hallway to find the girls’ lavatory. I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I hope she enjoys herself.

I shove my hands in my pockets, and make my way to the common room boringly, taking small steps and counting the marble blocks as I go. Before I’m even half way down the hall, Remus Lupin bumps into me from behind. My eyes give him a questioning glance. He’s looking rushed. And he too- like Frank- seems to have come from the other direction running; his forehead’s a bit sweaty. And there’s an expression in his eyes I just can’t read. He wheezes. 



“I need to show you something…” Remus takes my arms and leads me away from the rows of students trying to get back to their common rooms.

“What’s the big idea?” I ask. There’s supposed to be a Desperate Housewives marathon starting soon! I am not going to miss that!

He leads me down one corridor and up the next, and we go up some stairs before he halts.

“Yeah?” I question, a bit pissed off. Don’t frickin’ lead me to another floor after dinner without telling me where we’re going and expect me to be all excited. “Now what?”

Remus Lupin opens a door. Woah, I’m pretty sure that door was not there a minute ago.

“Don’t hate me for this, Lily. But I need to see something. I have to know-”

“What the bloody hell are you babbling about?”

“I just need to experiment with something!” He screams out of no where. He’s huffing and puffing and I can tell he’s stressed out. My neck snaps back and I lean my body away from him.

“WELL, THEN,” I say, flabbergasted. I twist from his grasp on my arm and cross my own arms. “Don’t get your thong all twisted, Remus.” But Remus doesn’t seem to hear me. It looks as if he’s deeply thinking about something that makes him wanna cry.

He covers his face with his hands. “Oh, God. How did I ever get to this point?” he mumbles.

I blink a couple times. “Why are you so- Remus did you get someone pregnant!?” I shout.

“No, you idiot!” Remus responds, after he takes a couple seconds to register what I’ve asked him.

“Well, what is it then? What do you have to show me?”

He scratches the back of his head nervously and tries not to look me in the eye. “Er- I, uh… It’s more like something you have to show me,” Remus says as quietly as possible.

I squint. “Wait, I didn’t hear you…?” Is he making any sense at all? I can barely hear him!

Before I know it, Remus opens the door (which I swear was NOT THERE before!) and shoves me inside quickly. He’s just propelled me in an open room! What am I, a doggy toy? I don’t even know where the hell I am!

I balance myself and try not to trip from his forceful shove, as I try to gather my surroundings. It’s a dark, humid room. Almost like a small basement. And if I stay in here anymore, I’m not going to be able to stand it unless I take off my hoodie; there aren’t any windows for fresh air. I remember Remus describing that he had a basement like this at his Grandma’s house before... “Remus, what is this place-” I start, but I never get to finish. Remus shuts the door closed.


“Open this damn door!” I shout, trying to turn the knob.

“I’m sorry, Lily!” I hear Remus say. He’s locked the door.


I try giving him death threats, but it’s no use. I can hear his foot steps moving away from the door. Remus Lupin has some nerve locking me in a basement, or room, or what ever it is. I feel like throwing my fist in the air and proclaiming insults about his mother and family. And I would have had the chance to yell out ‘Your mom! And your dad! What the heck, and your cousin too! Throw in that little pet goat, as well!’ to him if he just could have stayed for a bit more.

I have to do something… the door is disappearing! Yeah, I know. Give it to Hogwarts for having disappearing doors in random rooms. But instead of thinking about another threat I could catch his attention with, realization hits me as I stare at the blank wall, with no door in sight.

I don’t have my wand!

What was I doing to do!? How long was I supposed to be in here!? There’s no doubt he’s charmed the door to disappear and reappear, Remus isn’t stupid. There’s no non-magical way out! Was he going to come back and let me out before Desperate Housewives was back on!?

“Well,” I hear from behind me. My back stiffens. The green eyes that are attached to my head feel like they are being ripped out, because of the force I’m pushing on them to bulge out of my head. I know that voice from anywhere. I turn around the dark room, and from the wall, I see him flip the light switch. His arms are crossed as he’s leaning against the gray wall, and it looks like he didn’t shave this morning. I mean, James Potter doesn’t have a beard, but he has some teenage boy facial hair thing going on. And I hadn’t seen him all day. I didn’t have Muggle Studies today, and any other classes I had with him, I guess he skipped- because he wasn’t there.

This makes him look a bit husky, the way the light’s hitting him.

“Remus is a charmer, isn’t he?” He asks rhetorically, peering up through his messy hair at me. His face is a mix between that marauder smile and his traditional smirk, with an amused- but surprised- glimmer in his eyes.



“Did you plan this?!” I ask, slowly getting more and more furious by the minute. Remus is such a little bitch for locking me in a room with James.

“Oh, yes. I planned getting pummeled to the ground like an American football star by Moony and slapped across the face as he blindfolded me, dragging me by my hair inside the Room of Requirement,” he replies sardonically, shifting his weight.

I quirk my eyebrows. “The Room of Requirement?”

“Have you honestly never heard of this room? People have been searching for the location of the Room of Requirement all around the castle for years, and you’ve never even heard the name?”

“I’m sorry, I tend to be too busy to hear about lost rooms in Hogwarts; what, with all the party hopping and drunken festivities I attend…”

I can tell he’s struggling from keeping his eyes from rotating to a complete 360°.

“Let’s just say that we’re standing in a somewhat historical landmark,” he reasons.

“Historical landmarks in Hogwarts. Original.”

“Stop trying to start a row with me, Evans. We’ve been stuck in here only fifteen minutes and you’re already picking a fight.”

I wander around the room, walking the farthest direction from him while doing so, taking in my surroundings. The light doesn’t shine too far. The center of the room is the brightest, and the light kind of glimmers all the way to the back wall. Was this a sort of spare room that people used for storage or something?

“The room changes to what ever you need it to be. The door appears when you think about it,” James tells me, reading my face.

My head turns back to him. “Really?”

“Yep. If you needed to calm down and go to sleep all of a sudden, and you walked in front of the door while thinking about it, the door would appear and lead you to a room with a bed. It’s all about what you visualize in your mind, and the room manifests itself for your needs.”


“You have no idea.”

I watch James intently.

Wow, it is getting immensely hot in here, for real. Is it just me? James seems to not be affected by it, because he looks comfortable-

“Damn, it could not get any hotter in here,” James says out of no where, taking his blue shirt off, exposing his white beater.


“Why would Remus do this?!” I burst out, trying not to get distracted by his broad shoulders.

“I have no idea, honestly. I’m actually quite curious to why he’d go to all this trouble to get you and me in his Grandmother’s basement,” he shrugs.

I knew it!

“He visualized his Grandma’s basement to put us it, didn’t he?” I ask disbelievingly.

So this is like an exact replica of the basement.
His Grandma’s basement.
That he’s used as my death trap.

“Calm down. You make us sound hostages,” James says, taking a seat on the hard floor. That’s exactly what I feel like- a hostage!

“What are you doing?” I say to his sitting figure.

“Well, I don’t have my wand- and you surely don’t have your wand, because you would have hexed me already if you did- and I have the feeling that we’re going to be here for a while, so I might as well get comfortable. And, Mooney’s Gran doesn’t have chairs in her basement.”

Stab me.
No, really.
In the heart.
A stake through the chest.
A tsunami slam in the ass.
Anything, I’ll take anything!

“How long are we going to be in here?” My voice is alarming, getting squeakier with every word I speak.

“Uh, how the hell should I know? I can’t even tell how it is outside, because there aren’t any windows. There isn’t a clock in here anywhere, so neither of us is going to be able to track the time as it passes,” James says with annoyance.

“Annoyed about something, Potter?”

He raises his eyebrows, probably surprised that I caught the annoyance in his statement.


“Well, what?”

“I kind of had plans for tonight.”

Yes. Me too. I’m missing an amazing marathon about housewives who kill their husbands and cheat on their spouses with beautiful men.

“What, going to go rough housing under your invisibility cloak?”

James Potter’s face becomes serious in a matter of seconds. He looks almost troubled.

I find his expression immensely satisfying.

“Thought I forgot about that, did you?” I remind him.

“You didn’t tell anyone?”

Funny, he’s telling me this as if he’s making things clear- not as a question.

“No, I didn’t. And I won’t. That’s one thing you marauders have on me. I’m good at keeping secrets sometimes.”

“I can keep secrets, too,” he smirks. Freaking guacamole! James is thinking about me in my underwear, I just know it.

I pretend I don’t hear him. “Besides, if I told the professors about it, you’d all go defending yourselves and ratting me out as well, considering I was involved that one time.” I take a seat on the ground and lean my back against the wall, facing James a couple yards away.

“That’s true,” he almost smiles. “Glad to know you’re thinking like a marauder.”

“Don’t get used to it,” I reply.

Alright, now I am sweating profusely. There has GOT to be a fan or something…

I take a big breath and pull my hair back in a ponytail.

James reads my face again. “Try to deal with it, because Moony’s Gran has never really invested in air conditioning.”

“Stop reading my faces,” I snap. James used to do that a lot when we were kids. For a split moment I think about our childhood. And just like that, it snaps out of my head.

“It’s not my fault you show yourself like an open book,” he responds quickly. And now I’m thinking about how I basically showed James what I looked like with lingerie on. I frown.

“I don’t know how you’re not twitching under that zip up sweatshirt,” he comments.

“That’s my concern, not yours,” I correct. 

There is no way I’m taking off my hoodie. NO! I won’t do it. If anything, I’d put more clothes on. James saw me in my comfortable short shorts pajama bottoms at the sleep over, and he saw me wearing nothing but a bra and panties while I was running like freak in the hallway. And even worse- we used to take baths together when we were babies! He’s seen enough of me already. I’m not exposing myself in front of him anymore.

“You’re going to regret it later,” James says, wiping the sweat off the back of his neck.

“I don’t care.”

He smirks. “Okay.” I ignore his smirk and continue.

“Why are you so calm? Am I the only one who seems to be a bit freaked out about this? I dunno about you, but I want to leave.”

“I’m calm because I realized before that there was no use trying to get out. Remus has us trapped. So you might a well make the best of it; that’s my theory. So suck it up, Evans.”

He’s smiling.

I’m not.

“There’s nothing here to make the best of,” I retort.

“You say that now.”

I narrow my eyes; my only weapon at the moment.

“But, you’re kind of right,” James adds. “There’s nothing to work with to make the situation better. Especially in this basement. It’s getting hotter and humid by the minute, and the only thing close to furniture is that desk over there.” James points to the oak desk down a couple shelves from us.

What he’s saying is true, though. There are a million shelf stands and broken tables everywhere, and the only thing that isn’t a complete wreck is the said desk he’s referring to.

“If we fall asleep or get tired, we’re gonna have to use the ground as a lounge. And we can’t do anything about going to the bathroom; we’ll have to hold it until Remus comes back,” James finishes.

“This sucks big orange popsicles,” I conclude. Oops, did I say that out loud?!

He laughs.

“Why don’t we do something to pass the time?” James suggests.

“Obviously, Remus is planning something for us. I doubt he locked us in here so we could play 21 questions for the next hour.” Or did he?

“Fine. What do you plan on doing until we leave?”

I have no idea.

“I have no idea,” I say.

“Come on, this is so boring.” He stretches his arms out and I can see his developed muscles, thanks to the many years of Quidditch. I tear my eyes away, and try to find something interesting to stare at.

“I can’t find any explanation to why you are always so flexible at every single turn of unexpected events. You seem to not care when things go awry,” I mumble. He gazes at me, tilting his head.

“Things change. All the time. I take what life throws at me with open arms,” he says simply. Oh, the irony.

It’s silent for a while and I start to pant, pushing the loose hairs away from my face. I can feel the heat almost burn under my hoodie. I want to claw at the walls.

“I told you,” he taunts. “Stop that,” I glare. “Stop analyzing me.”

“I’m not analyzing anything.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I’m not.”



I huff. “Just because you notice things about me, doesn’t give you the right t think about what I’m thinking.”

He chuckles. “…What?” My face is a bit flushed now.

“Evans, that made almost no sense!” he laughs, lying down on the ground with a soft pat. James rubs his stomach as he giggles.

Stupid giggles. They need to die.

“Shut up,” I tell him.

James stops giggling almost immediately. “Make me.” His face is filled with such interest.

James gets up and brushes off his backside. “Let’s rummage through the Lupin Family’s history.” He walks over to the dozens of shelf stands, skimming the boxes that are taking up every space on the wooden shelves.

“Those are personal, Potter! Mind your own business.” I, too, stand up and brush off the dust from my butt. I try to ignore the sweat I can feel running down the back of my legs.

“It’s not like I’m some no good stranger. Besides, these things aren’t real. They’ll disappear as soon as we leave this room, so it’s not as if I’m really snooping, because we’re not really in his grandmother’s basement.”

“So? It doesn’t make it any better,” I say in defeat.

James rolls his eyes. “I’m just skimming for something entertaining. I suggest you do the same, before your eyeballs roll to the back of your head from boredom.” James is now opening a cardboard box labeled ‘Summer ‘89’.

I guess it couldn’t hurt to just look around, right?

I skip passed a couple broken tables and shelves. There’s one pink plastic container that catches my attention. I open it slowly, and find a set of arranged perfumes.

“Oh,” I say in wonder. I think these are his granny’s old presumes because all these scents are at least twenty years old. Wow, old school perfumes! Who would have thought she was a fan of Chanel in the eighties? My fingers touch the lids with caution. These must be expensive.

“Look!” I hear James call. I turn around and see him peering in between two shelves. He’s wearing the most obnoxious neon green sunglasses I’ve ever seen. A laugh escapes my lips as I stare at the bright fake-diamond encrusted rims.

“No wonder you’re such a ladies’ man,” I say sarcastically.

“It’s these mac daddy shades, dog.”

I close my eyes and try not to giggle. I turn back to the perfume box. These beautiful scents, they’re so…vintage.

I can’t help myself from taking one out of the container. I examine it; on the lid, in gold décor, Amore – Lust #5 is imprinted. My eyes dance as I take off the lid and put a few sprits on my neck. It smells like roses and chocolate, in a peachy blend, mixed with cranberries and a hint of coconut.

DAMN. This perfume is intense. I cough a bit as I try to read the back of the bottle. But, I can’t- it’s all in Italian. Hm, there’s the seal of approval by the Witch’s Association, of Profumeria Co., Venice, Italy.

Woah, they stopped making perfumes in Venice for the Witch’s Association in the middle of the eighties! They were banned in 37 countries, except England, I think. Something about an illegal ingredient…

Oh, now the scent is up my nasal passages! Crap. I totally forgot we were stuck in an inferno. The warm air’s making the scent stronger than it already is-

My mind’s just gone blank.

I don’t know why, but for some reason, I can feel the scent of Amore – Lust #5 seeping into my brain and lungs; it feels like I have no control over my body, almost!

Uh, what’s going on?!

What is in this perfume?!

I suddenly feel like I can’t breathe, and the temperature in the room has now sky rocketed. I start gasping. I try to walk away from the shelf slowly, dropping the bottle back in the pink container. I bump into James from behind, and he takes a hold of my shoulders.

“You okay? I heard you breathing kinda weird, Lily-”

He stops talking. And it takes my mind a couple seconds to realize I had put one finger slowly on top of James Potter’s lips, silencing him. I hear his breath catch in his throat . There’s this whispering sound…almost- as James slowly closes his eyes and his breath catches in his throat again. I dunno if my eyes are playing trick on me, but I see this mix of pink and white smoke swirling up his nose. The scent is so intoxicating that I almost forget where we are.

I get stuck staring at James’s hazel eyes. Is this really happening? Has something come over me? Because all I can think about is the feeling of his touch; his hands roughly positioned on my shoulders. His hands feel like burning irons and I can feel it all the way to my bones. I can’t stand it anymore. The fire tickling me under my sweat, and trickling down my neck. And that’s when it hits me.

The manly smell of James Potter’s Axe body cologne radiating off his chest.

Everything is in slow motion now. Every heart beat, every breath, every blink of the eye; I can hear it all. 


His hands slide down my shoulders, traveling to the sides of body slowly, and stop at my hips. We’re both breathing hard- as if every time we inhale, the wind gets knocked out of us. I’m momentarily paralyzed and my mind is screaming in protest.

But I feel like my brain is all fluffy and float-y. Like it’s taken a swim in the ocean. So relaxing...

My hands, which have been cradled around his shoulders this entire time, are now sliding down his back. I let my fingers linger on his skin before I continue to graze down the length of his white beater. He shudders a bit at my touch. Is it because he doesn’t know what’s going on, or because this is really me and him doing this?

I doubt our minds (his and mine) realize what’s going on, so probably the former. Wait, what about the little man in my head? Is he taking a swim too…?

When I finally reach the waistband of his jeans, I put my fingers thought his belt loops and rest them there. “Lily. What’s going on…?” James croaks. He is still breathing heavily; and so am I. This feeling, not having enough oxygen in your lungs, it burns.

“I don’t know,” I tell him. But it doesn’t feel like me. It doesn’t sound like me. I feel the pain in my nose and lungs, but my mind- my mind feels like it’s in heaven. Some sort of oasis. I feel so detached from my body, that every thought I try to form turns to liquid. There is only one thing on my mind and only one thing important to me right now. And I’m looking straight at him.

My heart’s beating a mile a minute and we both lean in; our faces looking at each other as if in deep concentration. Every so often, we pause and look at each other, just to make sure the other is still there. By the time there’s only an inch apart from our lips, we’ve already closed the gap.

I feel his lips slowly; every centimeter it took for his mouth to fully be on mine.

James Potter’s lips were warm and almost welcoming. You know that feeling, when it’s the first day of summer, and as soon as you open the door to the outside you feel the sun’s rays captivate you, and you can do nothing but close your eyes, tilt your head upward, and smile inwardly as you enjoy the warmth?

This is exactly what that feels like.

He tugs at my waist, bringing me closer to him. We part, and take another burning breath, and I can hear his heart pounding in my ears. I look at him and he looks at me, as we rest our foreheads together. I wonder… Does he hear how hard my heart is beating, too? James is breathing through his nose, trying to slow down his heart rate, but it’s not working. I almost smile at this.

All of a sudden, James puts his hands on a lower position on my body and lifts me up in a scruffy manner, knocking my hooked finger our of his belt loops. Loving the fact that he’s taken the initiative, I take his face fully into my hands, and forcefully start kissing him. His one hand stays where it is, holding me up. The other is caressing my back.

James stumbles back, a bit surprised by the force of my kiss. My thumbs caress his jaw line and he pulls back after a while to look me fully in the face. His hands are holding me up as my legs are wrapped around him. He moves forward all the way in the back of the room, as I resume kissing him. He leads us over to the oak desk in the center of the shelves and plops me down on it. James takes his hands and puts them on my neck, and in my hair. In one fluid motion, he slides the hair band out of my hair, throwing it behind him.

Our faces are sweating, but it’s not as if we can tell, nor would we care. Our mouths are glued together. His hands are everywhere. In my hair, on my back, cupping my face. My hands are everywhere, too. On his waist, around his neck, tangled in his hair. With my long hair flowing freely I get the urge to do something unthinkable.

I unzip my hoodie.

I rip if off my sleeves in a rush and toss it out of our way. I’m only in my tank top now. Oh, how wonderful it feels now, with out that thick hoodie…

But it’s getting hotter.

I can feel the dampness on his back. Before we part again for air, I take a hold of his white beater and grab enough of it, about a handful, to pull off. James grunts and helps me as we take it off. My hands marvel about his chest, and wander down his perfect stomach. I try to take in as much as I can. I look at his bare chest as he kisses my neck and I can’t help but notice how beautiful it is. I can now say that James Potter is no boy. He is a man. Built tough to play hard; that’s what the girl’s would say about him when they saw James on the Quidditch Pitch.

I look at his torso, and how manly he’s becoming. James has an amazing body.

He lifts his head up and takes my face in his hands and says, “Lily, I love-”

But then it stops. Everything stops.
The wind is almost knocked out of me.

I can no longer hear his heart beat.
I can no longer feel the burning in my lungs.
I cannot see anything but him in front of me.

James Potter.

The Last Marauder =]

Chapter 19: Untouched
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

A/N - alright. now I just wanna say that I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. I just didn't have enough time in my schedule to submit my already finished chapter, and I am sincerely sorry!

on another note, I'd like to let you all know that this chapter isn't going to have music in it. basically, this chapter was kind of dedicated to a song. for some reason, the song inspired my already outlined chapter and helped me out even more. It's a song by The Veronicas, called "Untouched". And it's the title of the chapter. It connects so well with what Lily's feelng... I decided that it would just be better if this was like the theme song of the chappie ^_^ Enjoy! And please review :D

Warning: There is some Substance Use/Abuse in this chapter.

It’s as if the perfumes came back out of my body and left us… both. James blinks a couple times and furrows his eyebrows. There are a couple loud bangs coming from behind him, and I turn to the right just a bit; the door’s appeared, and someone’s been beating on the front of it.

Remus is calling our names. As this burning feeling leaves James and me, we snap back to reality. Remus unlocks the door; before he has a chance to ask us what happened, I’m already running down the corridor.

It’s all a blur from there. I don’t remember James and Remus calling out my names. I don’t remember anyone trying to run after me with my hoodie. I don’t remember pushing Remus and trying to get out of the ‘basement’. All I do is just pickup the pace and I don’t stop.

I’ve done something I can no longer change back.
If I can just run a bit faster, maybe everything will turn back to the way it was.

Oh, dear goodness. Why? How? I feel like crying.

I wipe the tears off my face as I sob uncontrollably. I cannot believe I did that. Nothing is going to be the same anymore. I feel like screaming more than crying, but I can’t find my voice. So I’m just stuck here, letting the tears fall from my eyes.

Everything’s changed.
And I let it happen.

I feel so disgusted. With myself. How dare I. How dare I do this to myself? Where did this sudden urge to drop my morals come from? I thought I knew what I was, and how I was to be around him, and now – I don’t even know myself anymore.

I run all the way to the Great Hall and I bang on the doors. And I don’t do it for any other reason but try to get my mind to go right. Let out all my anger and frustration with myself.

I never thought I’d kiss him. Do you know what it’s like, resenting someone for years, and then letting go of everything you know, turning yourself into just another snog?

Do you know what the fuck that feels like?

Why did I let this happen? I feel like screaming, but instead I stop slamming my fists against the doors of the Great Hall and fall down to the ground. I look down to find my knuckles bleeding, but I don’t care. Why should I?

Why should I care about anything anymore? When I gave into the most indifferent person I’ve ever met? He doesn’t care about me, he doesn’t like me like he says he does, and he has no respect for me. I let him… Use me. For a snogging session. I rest my head in my hands as I feel like crying my heart out. I breathe in ragged breaths, and I heave until my lungs feel like they can breathe on their own, somewhat. If I could only find my voice. But I’m afraid I’ll just start screeching if I do.

Everything I believed in is gone. I’m a hypocrite now. Holy crap, I can’t deal with this. I can’t get my mind around it. I close my eyes and tilt my head up towards the ceiling and try to breathe a bit. I try to compose myself from turning into a complete wreck, but my mind doesn’t make it easy for me.

There was this system that I noticed with James. He moved on quickly, and got over things and moved on pretty fast. This is why he’s always had a different girl on his arm every week. Decent? Not in the slightest. How dare I give into him. How dare I think that I could let go of everything I believed in and do something I never would have done. Now I’m just part of his system. Nothing would have changed for him, maybe. But me? I don’t think I’ve ever gone through something like this. The crazy thing is, a part of me feels guilty. And the other feels disappointed and angry. Why can’t I choose?

I’ve never felt so… Untouched.

All the places James rested his hands on, don’t even feel like my own skin. I can’t feel anything. He’s won. After years of trying to supposedly ‘get with me’, James has finally won.

I cry out in frustration and slam my head against the doors. I can’t reason my mind over it. What kills me is that I was willingly kissing him. Why did I do it? What caused me to not be myself? And more importantly… why did I like it? It’s like we had no control over each other, and the irrationality of the situation almost made James Potter say something I know he wouldn’t have meant.

Whether or not my mind remembers it in the slightest isn’t my concern. I don’t care what he had to say. The moment is over now. Fuck. The moment? It was just a moment, wasn’t it? Something that will never get off my back? That’s what I was.

A moment.

A moment he might as well forget about. Because I’m not worth remembering.


Jessica gasps when I slam open the door to our dormitory. “Lily, what happened!?”

I can’t stop fast enough to take a breath between speaking. “I can’t, I can’t think about this, Jessica. I can’t do this anymore. My head hurts too much.” I cover my head in my hands as she rushes to get her slippers on. Jessica flies off the bed and takes me in her arms.

“Don’t do this to me, Lily!” Jessica looks pained, but I can’t tell because my eyes are so blurry. “Dear, what went on? Why are you crying? You took off your hoodie? Why do you smell weird?”

I feel as if my head is breaking into pieces, Jessica.

“Jessica, I can’t talk about this now. I need to escape. I don’t want to think about this-”

“Where were you? When I came back up here I reasoned you went to take a shower or return that book from the library or something. Hell, even stopped to chat with Spunky for a bit in the kitchens. I thought… I thought you were okay. I am so stupid. I should have asked where you were-”

I sob. “No, Jess. It’s nowhere near your fault.” I know she’s not pushing me to open up, because she cares enough about me to help me. What ever works the best with out breaking me. If Jess came to me like this I’d want to know what happened stat. She has so much patience with me. And I think it’s because she has the ability to be trusting and patient. I feel so much affection for her that I take her into a hug. I wish I could explain everything. But I feel so paralyzed. Sometimes she’s the only person that truly understands me. She deserves an explanation. I can’t let her see me like this, make her worry.

“Oh,” she says, surprised that I’m hugging her to death. “Lily, you’re making me wanna cry, what’s going on? You can tell me later, but just… tell me what to do,” she says to me desperately.

Before I can even register a thought I say, “Get me Frank.”

Jessica takes my face in her hands and looks at me sincerely. “Okay.”

Jessica quickly gets Frank, who – by no surprise – just came down from his dormitory to watch television in the common room in his pajamas. I hear a bit of bickering, so I walk down the stairs slowly, and I see Jessica swiftly talking to him.

“Get up, Frank Longbottom. Don’t make me say it again.”

I see the back of Frank’s head tilt slightly. “I just came down here to watch TV, and you just waltz over and tell me to get my arse up, for a reason you still haven’t told me-”

“She needs you,” Jessica cuts in. I take a step on the stairs and my foot creaks on a hollow step. Ergo, they hear a creak. I just stand there, hugging myself, my face stained with water as I look up at a shocked looking Frank. Ah, no. I shouldn’t have caused this ruckus… This doesn’t even concern them; what was I thinking? This is my entire fault, anyway.

“Fuck, Evans. What’s wrong?!” Frank gets off the couch in less than a second and is at my side almost immediately.

“I don’t know what’s going on with me,” I mumble. He silences me and puts me under his arm. I lean on him. “It’s alright,” he says, concerned.

“What went on?” I hear him ask.

“She didn’t say anything. She’ll speak when she’s ready. But she requested to see you, for some odd reason,” Jessica responds. Surprisingly, she’s not jealous. Just a bit, tussled. I wouldn’t blame her. I just erupted in tears and told her I needed Frank. Wow, I’m a great friend, aren’t I?

*insert crappyness here*

“Jess, I’m sorry.”

“Lily, it’s fine. Just call me if you need me, okay?” She whispers this and pats my shoulder. Jessica makes her way up the stairs, reluctantly, and brushes passed Frank. “Take care of her.”

He gives her a strong look and nods his head.

And then there’s silence. 

_moments later_

After a couple minutes of this momentary stillness, I get up off the arm chair and look at him. “I can’t talk about this, this way…”

“Lily. You realize it’s been almost ten minutes that we’ve been pushing each other to say something? You wanna tell me, but don’t wanna tell me. You have Finelly worried sick about you upstairs and you haven’t said a word. I’m not going to push you to explain everything to me. But there must be a reason why you came to me. Besides the fact that you’d know I’d be up this late, considering I never go to sleep early.”

I let out a sigh, but it’s more of a shudder. “Frank. Where are your cigarettes?”

He blinks. “What?

“I need your cigarettes, Frank. Give them to me. Now. I can’t deal with this. I need to relax-”

“NO,” he barks. “There is no bloody way I’m giving you a speedway ticket into the back pocket of my pants to grab my box of cigarettes, and have a smoke.”

“But you always - !”


I cross my arms in an annoyed manner. His facial features turn a bit softer around the edges as he sees my face. “Look, it’s not the way to go. I was stupid enough to get hooked on them when I was younger. It was the worst decision of my life. I was weak. I wasn’t smart enough to understand that if you try to lose yourself for just one moment of what you think is relaxation, the problem won’t go away. It’ll come back and stare you right in the face.”

“But I don’t care! I just need comfort.”

He’s silent. “Argh! I need something,” I whimper helplessly. “Please.

With an aggravated sigh, he gets up. “Alright. Fine. I’m sure we can find something in the kitchens. Go get your shit and put on your slippers, we’re gonna hang with the house elves.”


After I quickly went upstairs to change into my pajama shorts and slippers, we headed down to the kitchens. I didn’t know what Frank had planned.

That’s a lie.
I didn’t know what Frank had planned THEN.
But I know NOW.

We are in the company of Spunky, my favorite house elf, and another two elves who seem to know Frank quite well. We’re sitting at a sort of bar area. It has two stools, occupied by Frank and I, and a tall table where the house elves reside on the other side. Long story short, I’m hammered.

Frank was mumbling about ‘just this once’ and ‘I’m only doing this so you can get comfortable’ and ‘never again are we doing this.’

I had no idea what the boy was saying at the time.

I had a shot of Russian vodka. Damn, that’s some heavy stuff. Never, in all my life, did I think, ‘Shit- I need a drink’! Nope. Never.

I also never thought that Spunky had the hook up! I wonder how Mr. Longbottom Ye Oh Faithful One found out about this place. Is this where all the teachers go when they say they have a ‘professor’s conference’? Because I can actually see McGonagall sipping on a Cosmo.

Frank assured me before we entered the kitchens (or the hidden bar, rather) that this was just a one time thing; he didn’t want to see me whine and cry about having a fag. He thought this was the best solution besides cigarettes. Because he said apparently the world would end if I smoked one. But, I actually agreed about coming down here. I’m freaking stubborn and I probably would have bitched at him about not letting me do something to take my mind off the momentary pain. So just a one-time alcohol binge was in session. Just to let everything out. Well, only for me.

He lifts his eyebrow. “Was that your second shot? Wait, when did – Holy blue, is that a bottle of Bourbon!?” I hiccup and he reaches over to take it out of my hands. He freaks.

“I’m gonna slap you; where the hell did you get this? Did Spunky give it to you when I wasn’t looking?” Frank frowns and leans over the bar table, tucking the bottle of Bourbon under the counter.

“Psh, I stolded it…” I slur.

He gives me HIS ‘wtf’ face. “Stolded it?”

I hiccup again and finish my last remaining shot as Spunky comes back to clean up.

“Hey, what’s that electric-y green looking bottle, Spunky? I haven’t tried that yet-” Frank cuts me off with a death glare.

“Over my fucking dead body. You are NOT drinking Absinthe.”


He puts a hand up in front of me and closes his eyes, like the peaceful Buddha’s do. “No,” he says simply.

I pout.
He ignores.

“Are you ready to talk now?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I reply lazily.

So I tell him everything. Literally. Every last detail.
I know right? Thank the Bourbon for that, since I hadn’t realized until AFTER I said it.

Frank just stood there and listened. And at those tense moments he raised his eyebrows, and at the end he did that weird face he always does when he tries to solve a problem.

“Can I point out something?” He asks out of the blue.


“Did you notice anything strange that happened during all that stuff with James?”

“Uh. No?”

“No little…details, of any sort?”

“Not that I can remember. Well, besides the fact that we were playing around with Remus’s Grandmother’s stuff.”

“If I remember correctly, you said you were playing with some of his granny’s scents, right?”

“Well, yeah. Before Potter and I had that weird traumatizing experience,” I tell him, trying not to slur my words.

He looks down for a moment and back up again. He licks his lips and puts his eyebrows together. “Lily. What kind of scents?”

“Oh, there was a whole pink box full of them! But the one I picked up, er, I don’t really remember much after I picked it up, but I – OH.”

My mouth drops. That perfume. I totally forgot about the perfume!

“Ever heard of that old proverb of never inhaling an old wizard’s or witch’s perfume and/or cologne? The aging does serious chemical changing to those things, you know.”

I put my fingers through my hair and try to get the circulation back in my skull. I massage the roots of my hair and close my eyes. “Crap, I completely forgot about that. Maybe that’s the reason we…” and Frank finishes for me.

“Snogged like in a Hispanic soap opera?”

My face is now flat as a brick. “Yes,” I mumble.

“Alright, let’s go a bit off topic for a second. Forget about the perfume, we’ll ask Remus later.”

“OH, GOD! Remus! He knows! He -!”

Frank shoves my shoulder roughly, almost throwing me off the stool. “Snap out of it,
Woman! This is not the time.” What the freak.

“How did you feel about it? Before, during, and after? Only what you can remember, of course,” says Frank, while I try to climb back on the stool. Spunky’s already finished cleaning up by now, locking everything up.

“I don’t even want to think about it…”

“Lily, you came to me for advice, right? Or some sort of closure? You have to work with me, here.”

I start to blink rapidly. Oh, crap. Is that what I’m doing? Why did I just ask for Frank when Jessica asked me what I needed? Was that the reason why I thought of Frank – because I had a problem? No, I like this. I like Frank. He’s nice and wise and isn’t quick to judge. I mean, all these boos have helped me cope with the fact that I just snogged James Potter: Hogwarts’ Resident Bad Boy. And he's letting me get smashed on my own accord.

“Er, yes and no. It’s complicated; it’s a bit like this,” I start. “For some weird reason, I can trust you. And I have no idea why that’s suddenly come about, but it has. But I don’t want you to think I’m using you for some advice-”

“-I wouldn’t feel used, don’t worry about it-”

“-Because I actually enjoy your company.”

We look at each other for a long minute. And then he nods.
And that’s all I really need to know he understands.

“Well,” he almost smiles. Hah, wise man almost smiles. “What does that make you?”

“You’re friend?” I kind of conclude. Frank acts weirdly to this. He does that hesitant jitter old people do when they’re excited, except, for some reason, I don’t think it’s because of excitement. I think he looks…


This makes me befuddled. Bah.
What ever. I just snogged James Potter.
Yep. I think the liquor’s made me deal with reality much easier.
That’s good.

“Back on topic,” Frank begins again. “Let’s think about some things, shall we?”

“Go ahead. Shoot.”

“Tell me one reason why you hate him.”

“Humph. I didn’t say I hated him.”

“You act like it.”

“No. I resent him. There’s a difference.”

“Is there, really?” Frank asks naively.

“Yes.” I bite my lip.

“Intriguing. That’s not what I was told.”

I am intrigued. “Who told you what?”

“Oh, nothing. Just that, someone came up to me and thought that doing something would get a certain someone to stop hating another certain someone. And in the process helping the certain someone and the other certain someone to stop and talk about some things that went out through some of their years. Technically speaking, of course.”

“Uh – WHAT?” I burst curtly.

“Nevermind,” he waves off. “But, I do think that you and him should consider having a talk to get everything out in the open. Like hidden feelings, perhaps.”

I almost bark at him, despite my lack of a straight mind. “Shut the bloody hell up. I do not have hidden feelings for him. It was just something we did, for some stupid reason. And which, without further reasoning, can not be classified into a scapegoat of some sort. And if your little smart-ass self doesn’t understand, it means that you can’t pin point a reason for why we both did what we did yet. It hasn’t exactly been explained.”

“Rubbish. There must have been something there. Don’t treat this like a Potions experiment.”

“I am not!”

“Yes, you are, Lily Evans. If things don’t go straight the way you planned it, you freak out. You’re pissed off that life isn’t like an equation sometimes. You’re like the opposite of James, who lets things pass by him, dealing with the fact that life isn’t far.” 

“Psh, you’re telling me.”

“So you agree with him?”

“In what sense?”

“That things happen without reason, and sometimes you don’t need any kind of reason to like it or understand it? Or just the fact that shit happens; you just have to find a way to move on?”

“No and no. The part about life not being fair.” He rolls his eyes.

“Think about it. You haven’t tried to make peace with him because of who knows what, and then you snog him. You don’t know why you did it, and you’re mind is stabbing you to come up with a conclusion to help you understand the point.”

I rub my forehead. “Frank, you are SO complicated.”

“That’s how you deal with things,” he says, ignoring me. “You need a reason, or an explanation, or someone to blame for you to deal with it. Because it hurts too much to think that stuff just happens for no reason – and you hate that life chooses to confuse you, but we have to expect it, and just move on. You can’t analyze everything because life isn’t planned out like that, Lily. I’m saying this because I care; stop kidding yourself, and take that road through your mind and think about you and James thoroughly.”

I suddenly feel a lump in my throat. Do I honestly do that? Oh, this isn’t fair. My life went up in flames and I was ignored. It was James that started this. Besides, if he missed me from our childhood relationship then why did he pretend to like me? And act so childish? And that kiss…ing. It meant nothing, right?

“Frank, I-” But I’m gob-smacked.

Seriously, I just slammed my hand against my mouth.
That lump in my throat? Yeah, it isn’t what I thought it was.

Frank puts his hand on my shoulder. “Woah, you okay? Oh, crap. Oh, no – NOT HERE!”

And before I know it I throw up all over the table top.


I go over the events I’ve been through lately in my head.

“Why, Frank. Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Make me think?” He holds my hair as I throw up.

He basically carried me to the girls’ lavatory after I threw up all that muck from my drinking binge. Sarcastically, (and quite ironically) I wasn’t surprised when Frank told me this wasn’t the first time he’d entered the girls’ toilets. Now, just picture us, in our pajamas, squeezing into a little cubicle, while I throw up my guts.

Only me, would this ever occur.

We are both kneeling next to each other, except I’m kind of wrenching over the toilet like the Hunch Back.

“Sometimes, people ignore things for a while, and they end up disappearing. A person needs a good thinking now and then. If not, said person can go crazy. You’re not crazy, Lily.”

“I feel like shit, Frank.”

“Shhh, I know,” he mumbles, whilst keeping a hold of my hair.

I come back up after a good minute and rest my arms around the toilet bowl. “You know what I don’t get?”

Frank stays silent.

“He was the one ignoring me. Potter, mister high-and-mighty, just tossed me aside, after beating up Amos Diggory for me. He did it all because of me. And he still had the balls to run in the other direction, like a coward, when it came to facing me. Fuck chivalry. He didn’t speak to me, didn’t even try to settle things, and just hid from me-”

I hurl again.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says to me.

“Oh, really,” I slur, not necessarily using it as a question that needs answering.

“How can I say this without breaking promises…? Ah, alright, Lily-”

“What the hell are you jabbering on about?” I snap, before plunging my head back down again.

“There’s a reason why James was avoiding you.” His words echo through the bathroom like rocks being thrown against the walls.

“And what is it, may I ask?” I say this almost groggily, as my throat feels sore from the vomiting.

“He had realized something that almost changed his life.”

I wipe the vomit off my lips and my knees buckle from under me; I end up sitting on the ground, cradling the toilet seat.

I don’t look at Frank while I wait for him to continue. “He found out he was in love with you, Lily.” It was silent for a while before it registered in my head.

I look at Frank Longbottom.

I am honestly at a loss for words. Now that I kind of have my voice back since the basement incident, I can’t find any appropriate vocabulary to express myself.

James… in love with me? No. It isn’t possible. He’s never loved me. He like me when we were kids.

“No,” I say strongly, my voice still croaking a bit.

“Yes. That night, after everything, after the party and the fire whiskey and Diggory, James found out on his own. He was in love with you.”

I drop my arms and they fall to the cold floor, next to my tangled legs. “No,” I repeat weakly.

Frank pulls at my hair and lifts my head up, looking me straight in the eyes.


I try to push him away but I only manage to get him to let go of my fiery red hair.

“He was afraid, Lily. He didn’t know what was going on with himself. Even Remus couldn’t understand why he was acting like that. James had never been through sometimes like what he did with you. James didn’t know what to do-”

I didn’t know what to do!” I burst, as I start crying again. The tears, as cliché as it sounds, taste salty and come down fast. I don’t care if he sees me because, well, I have no idea. But I’ve been dealing with ‘no ideas’ for a while, so I shouldn’t protest anyway.

Frank sighs. “Do you know what it’s like to be in love with someone, thinking that the person doesn’t love you back?”

I start to weep, and use the back of my hand to wipe off my nose. Frank gets the toilet paper and helps me.

“Here, let me do it,” he says, pushing my hands away.

I let him. Only because I’m too weak to do anything else but stay, limp as I am.

“James didn’t know why he all of a sudden felt this way about you. At first he didn’t know what to call it, but he wanted to know for sure if it was love. See if it was the real deal – so he tested it.” I look up at Frank, afraid to hear more.

“With Leslie Toudren.”

His words hit me like a ton of bricks as I keep crying.

“He had a snog with her to see if he felt the same way, and he didn’t. Nothing was there. He couldn’t go out with girls for the fun of it anymore. James realized at that point, there was no one else he would rather kiss, or hug, or do anything with, if it wasn’t with you.”

You’d think that Frank speaking this way to me would be uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassing, but it’s not. It’s almost endearing.

I shut my eyes and count to ten. I release a humongous breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

“Don’t do this,” I say, keeping my eyes closed. Frank discards the toilet paper he used to wipe me off. He tosses it in the bowl and flushes. “Don’t do what?”

“Break your promise to James.” I don’t care if I use his name in the open. I don’t care. Not anymore.

Those times when I saw James and Frank speaking… they were about me, weren’t they? I was right? He came to Frank for help?

“This is the first time I’ve broken someone’s trust,” he concludes, frowning profusely, a bit upset with himself. “I’ve already told you, it’s too late.”

“Why did you?” I sob. I cannot put my head in line. James is supposedly in love with me and Frank broke the promise of his services to James.

He takes my head in his hands and brushes some of the tears away.

“Because you deserve to know the truth,” he says earnestly. He lets go of my face and meshes his lips together, in thought. “Because I’ve never had someone to take care of before, to look after.”

My eyebrows come together as I try to figure him out.

“Because I’ve never really had a sister before.”

“Bah,” I mumble faintly, trying to respond. Before I ask who, what, where, or why, he continues.

“You know. My mother, before she left us, she took something away from me. Away from our whole family.”

I feel my head start to clog with Frank’s information as I try to put it all together.

“I was going to have a little sister. But I guess she didn’t want it. My mother, she… had an abortion before she left.”

I gasp surprisingly and I look at Frank. What am I supposed to feel or say when someone opens up and tells you something like that? I want to cry for him. I say I have problems, when other people in this world are suffering daily. I say that I feel like my life is going to end, when really, someone else’s life somewhere in the world actually is ending. I feel like I’ve been taking advantage of things. And it makes me feel ungrateful for what I have.

For the first time, right at this moment, I try to open my mind to what Frank’s wisdom has shown me.

There’s more to life than this. Than some stupid teenage confusion.

“I felt like she stole something away from me, you know? It’s almost as if she wanted to get rid of the memory of us. In fact, she was probably disgusted by it. I mean, you leave your life behind, and you just take off and get rid of everything that might tell you how much of a disappointment you are. Including a baby, a human, you’re tossing in the can, because it reminds you of disappointment. And that’s what she was. A disappointment. And I hope one day she realizes that.”

Suddenly, kissing James Potter doesn’t even feel like an issue anymore.

“The first couple of times we talked this year, I could tell you didn’t want to reach that point of discussion about our families. Let alone our mothers. You and I could both tell that neither of us wanted to talk about it. Since this is a train wreck experience for you, I thought that I could share something with you, too. I also think it’s because you are in dire need of a weird and unorthodox form of therapy. If I can open up and realize how things have been fucked up, then maybe it’ll open your mind and help you get through this.”

“But why?” I ask him. He’s asking me to think like him, isn’t he? Take as an example how he got over things…

“Because for the first time since my mother left us, I’ve found someone I can trust. Lily, there is so much more to you than meets the eye. Everyone sees you but no one really looks at you. Sometimes you remind me of myself, and I kind of admire that quality.”

“You are a complex individual.” I purse my lips and hug I him. I think he’s smiling, but I don’t check his face because I’m too busy hugging the crap out of him. And we just stay there, talking about random things…moments…our lives… until he helps me back in the common room. It’s all I think about, what happened tonight. Even when I’m snuggling in my bed.

Frank is something else. He’s made me realize that I need to fix this. Between James and I. Once and for all. Ignoring this or hiding the fact that there might be something wicked coming this way won’t conceal the fact that it needs to be talked about. We’re both old enough to deal with these things, right? I’m going to talk to James as soon as possible. About this stupid train wreck. But I have to prepare myself, I think. Frank would want me to prepare myself so that I’ll know what’s coming next. This, in reality, is a load of shit. Because I have no idea what’s coming next.

And I am absolutely terrified.

Author's Note - Not sure if i'm done with the pictures yet, but i'll keep you posted on my blog! =] So, any foreshadowing you think is going to happen ?

Chapter 20: A Whole Lot Of Nerve
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AN- Hey, bbys :D
I'm happy to let you all know that I'm back on my writing streak! Sorry, really, that I hadn't updated in a while and then just updated with chapter ninteen without a real explianation. I'm just so busy! And if you think about it, you really have to spend time, and take a seat at your computer for a few hours, before you get a chapter down pat. I just simply didn't have the time to do that anymore. But on the weekends, I've made it my goal, to make time and take an hour or so each day to write down my ideas and form new chaps. Be proud of me! And don't ever forget: I AM NEVER LEAVING THIS STORY. EVER.

Thank you.
What' are you still doing reading an author's note...? The story's down there!

“Wow,” Emma says, when I tell her everything. She puts her hands behind her head and lies down on the grass. We’re out in the court yard early on a new school day.

“Yeah,” I sigh.

“What did Jessica say about this?”

“She didn’t really say anything. She just… stood there. I mean we talked about everything; and I mean every-last-detail. Jessica just kind of helped me reflect on the situation at hand. It took a while for it to sink in, though, me kissing James. She kinda dropped her entire breakfast on the ground next to her bed when I finally blurted it out.”

“Aha! Wait, she had breakfast in bed? How did Jessica pull that off?!”

“Jess and I are close with a certain house elf named Spunky,” I explain.

“Not fair… your own room service…”

“It’s really not like that, Emma, darling,” I tease. “We get the food, not the clean up and the free accommodations. Now those I’d like to get my hands on.” I lay next to her on the grass, and I feel the blades tickling my skin. I close my eyes and absorb the sun’s rays, or what’s left of the sun’s rays. It’s November and Quidditch season’s about to start soon – it’s already getting a bit dim!

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, Lily, but- well- what’s wrong with you?”

Pfft. “Uh, what?” I chuckle.

“You’re so chill about this. Normally, you’d be the queen of freak-outs. One of the biggest life changing things has just happened to you, and you’re as laid back as a beach chair. I don’t get it. Something must be wrong.”

I pause and try to think about this. “There’s definitely something wrong,” I respond. “Definitely. But me, acting like this, isn’t it. What’s wrong is the situation I’ve put myself in – everything I’ve put off for years. My mistakes and how I dealt with them – those would be justified as ‘wrong’. And I’ve come to realize that.”

I look as Emma, shielding my face from the sun with my hands. “But this, my attitude and my understanding – that’s not the problem. If anything, it’s helped me realize things and how they’ve been for a while. It’s complicated. Probably something only I will ever be able to understand, because I’m the only one that can truly understand me.”

“So what you’re saying is that you’re coming to terms?”

“Something like that, yeah,” I smile. “It’s like that road you take, and you know you can’t turn back, because you’d be walking away from your problems. And you don’t want to stop at a stop sign or yield onto oncoming traffic – it’s not going to make anything go away. Trust me; there were times when I wanted to throw myself into that oncoming traffic so I didn’t have to walk ahead. And those stops in the road made me think even more, and then I’d complicate myself…like one big confused bubble in my mind that I couldn’t pop for the life of me.”

“Hm…I think you’re maturing on an intellectual level, Lily,” Emma says in the voice similar to a psychiatrist.

“Oh, shut it,” I shove her shoulder playfully. She laughs. “I’m still really nervous about his friends knowing, Emma, don’t get me wrong. The only two people that know are James and I – that is, if he didn’t blab to Remus. But if Remus knows, I think he’s honorable enough to not spread the word to his friends yet. At least, out of respect for me, I think.”

“I get what you’re saying. And I think it’s great that you’ve come to realize how things truly are, and how you’re kinda trying to beat that fear of walking further down that road. I’m not sure how Remus is going to be a part of this or not, but what ever happens, happens, I guess. But…”


“What’s made you think and see things differently? You know, not freak out and what not?”

“Hah, I still freak out. I’m still a spaz. I still trip when I walk. And I still yell ‘Oh, Frick!’ when I drop my books. I’m the same Lily – I’ve just taken another step in finding out who I am, I guess. Or how to be the best I can be. If I can’t figure myself out, then who can?”

I lift myself off the ground and sit up, my arms around my legs. I think about how Frank hugged me in the bathroom while I was puking my guts out, and how he didn’t even care how bad I looked.

“And as for what’s made me realize all this… well…let’s just say I had a long talk with a certain friend of mine.”


I haven’t seen James all morning.
I haven’t seen James all morning and it’s driving me mad.

You’d think he’d show up for breakfast, but noooooooooooo

I didn’t wake up early so I could talk to Emma outside and go back in for breakfast with Jessica and find out someone ate all the bacon before I could get a piece to NOT find James Potter sitting down at the Gryffindor table.

I had this whole plan set – I’d try to talk to him in the morning, before classes start. We’d chat a bit and get some things straightened out, and then by lunch time we’d clear all those loose ends and (if necessary) talked all day to let out the whole thing.

We’d do all this with compassion, poise, and maturity.
Of course.

But no. James didn’t even roll out of bed in time for breakfast this morning! Do you know how much a marauder eats? If I made a cook book I’d have to divide it four ways for each marauder – and add another three chapters for their breakfast, lunch, and dinner schedules. Yeah, move over Rachel Ray. This baby would be about 1,000 pages, sweetheart. No joke. I’ve seen the average Gryffindor male inhale about 38 pounds of bread alone in a month. Double that amount of calories, and add a plate of cranberry pie. That’s James Potter’s breakfast.

It took me years to get the actual equation right.

Wait. Why the HELL do I have James’s eating habits down pat?!


Why am I such a nut? The he/she/it is invading my mind again, isn’t it?

“Do you see him?” Jessica mumbles as she takes a sip of her orange juice. “No. He’s not here, Jess. None of the marauders are.”

She gasps. “What…? No way, that’s impossible. Those boys love food-”

“I know, I know. But they’re not here today.” I poke my pancakes with my fork.

“Er, not quite,” Jess adds, making a notion to look down the Great Hall.

I find Peter, Sirius, and Remus sitting at the dead end corner of the Ravenclaw table… With Frank Longbottom. Do the Ravenclaws even let you sit there if you’re not with someone from their House? Their not exactly violent creatures, but still. They don’t even look pissed.

“Oh, God. They’ve distinguished the rat pack,” Jessica rolls her eyes, and surprisingly doesn’t take a jab at Frank. I guess it’s because she has a bit of respect for him now because he took care of me. It kind of makes me smile, when I think about it. But I’d be caught dead by Jessica in a second and I’d be burned at the stake, so I don’t smile or react at all.

…But my heart does grow a bit, secretly.
Don’t tell anyone!

“So three fourths of the marauders are talking to Longbottom, someone’s taken all the bacon from you this morning and has gotten you thoroughly pissed, and James Potter is nowhere in sight.”

“That’d be correct.”

“You’d think the man upstairs would give you a break today! So you can deal with the serious issues…”

The corners of my mouth turn slightly. I think of The Dark Knight, and because of my film fetish I can’t stop myself from blurting out, “Why so serious?”

Jessica spits out her orange juice all over the table and I burst out into hysterics.

Thank you, Ledger. You are a hero.

“EW! You threw up on me!” yells a First Year boy near us. Apparently Jessica’s spitting fiasco has found a place to display itself: on the front of the boy’s robes.

Jessica gives him a barking retort and turns her eyes to me. “Don’t you dare to that again…”

“AHAHA! I’m brilliant.” Jessica grunts at this. And with that, the dismissal of breakfast comes.

I find myself in Potions for first period, but I don’t even remember how I got here. I feel like everything’s a blur now. I’m actually starting to get nervous. What if James didn’t come to breakfast because he didn’t want to see me? What if he’s avoiding me? Oh, damn it.

Think positive, think positive, think positive…

And I do, for the first thirty minutes of class.
But then we got paired up with our partners for our centaur hair project thingy.
What can I say? From there it just gets more and more glorious…

“Mine looks like a lumpy butt.”

“Sirius,” I say impatiently. “It’s lumpy because you didn’t stir it properly. Here, give it to me.” I take his portion of our Potions project. I see the bubbling effect in the burning formula, and I can’t stop myself from thinking if my life is going to turn out like our project.

A bit fat lumpy butt.

“We need a good grade on this, you know. I’ve been trying to get my academic life back on track and in order. I-NEED-THIS-GRADE,” I almost snarl. “So work with me!”

“Calm down, dragon lady. No need to bark,” he scoffs.

I want to ask him what his friends were talking about with Frank this morning, but I can’t bring myself to ask without him thinking I’m being nosy.

If that makes any sense. Since Sirius is the biggest brownnoser ever. One time I dropped my quill and he asked me why my hand had convulsed, making me drop it on purpose to get attention (yes, it’s truly an art I practice daily). Then he went on this rant about self control and how if I ate more potatoes, my potassium levels would go up and I’d stop fidgeting and dropping things. And what was it he- oh, yes- then Sirius reminded me that dropping things on occasion to get noticed was not the way to go to get a lad’s attention.

Him being the lad in question. The bugger thought I fancied him because I DROPPED MY QUILL ON THE GROUND. At that point my throat convulsed into attention-seeking vomit.

But back on topic, I think I just want to know what they were talking about because… oh, come on. James threw off my whole plan for today! Now everything is backtracked, and now I won’t know where to start if I do see him. And every time I think about approaching him, I now start to sweat a little bit. This is bad. I need to know where we stand! Does he lo- hate me? Do I still resent him? We need to clear the air. Maybe we might even go on about when my mother passed and what went on with him.

“It’s first period, Sirius. Please work with me here. You have no idea how bad my day is going to pan out today. I at least want to start decently so when I crash and burn, I won’t go up in flames completely.”

Our week long project so far consisted of me doing all the work. And since I was quite busy snogging a boy in a basement last night, ruining my life, I didn’t get to work on both sides of the project – Sirius’s and mine. You know what happens now? I face the consequences.

That’s like, my life motto. I do that every freaking day.
Face the friggin’ consequences.

He looks around the room as if he’s missed the punch line in a joke. “Why are you talking like the world’s ending and your going to fall into a black pit of darkness? If you’re overwhelmed about this project being due tomorrow, I’ll do the questions and diagram.”

I blink. “Really?”

“As long as you stop talking like you’re a depressed teenager who owns a blog on the internet. It freaks me out.”

“I’m sorry, I kinda flipped before… It’s just – I’m going through a lot of crap right now. I’m trying to stay afloat, and trying to find some sort of confidence. But, to be honest, I’m kind of really nervous about how things are going to pan out. Or if they even get panned out.” I say this in one breath. I didn’t even mean to say all that.

I turn my head back around to face Sirius Black.
He’s doing that quirking eyebrow thing again.

“You look like a pissed off Cabbage Patch kid,” I tell him inconsequently.

“Does this have anything to do with you and Prongs?”

I blush. “Uhabutamat.” I can’t find a comprehensible word to describe the current event of my life on display. So I mumble incoherencies.

“Is that some sort of Farsi dialect?”

“BLATEGAFEH!” I take Sirius by the collar, our potion filled flasks clanking down on our desks. What ever, we only need one flask anyway. If one brakes on the ground, it’s no biggie. The real biggie is Sirius and his possible knowledge of my snog history!

“What did he tell you!?” I try hard not to stutter, but my fear gets the best of me. I wish there was a button I could push, to turn back into the cool and collected Lily Evans; not the ‘I’m going to piss my pants in a mo’ Lily Evans. He freaking knows. James blabbed to Remus, which means that Remus blabbed to his fraternity brothers or whatever. This is BAD! I was scared something like this was going to happen!

OH MERLIN. Remus and Peter and Sirius – AND FRANK! At breakfast they must’ve talked about me!

Shoot me in the freaking foot. Why did I not think of that?!

“Chill out, fiery-haired demon! Let go of my shirt, I ironed it for an hour before I could get it right!”

I scruffily let go of Sirius’s shirt collar. “Thank you, kindly,” he grimaces. He straightens it out and sighs, baring his teeth. “First, if you’re referring to Remus, he didn’t tell me anything. He didn’t speak to any of us. Remus and Frank talked. I haven’t seen James anywhere. I’m not even sure he came to bed last night. All I know is that something went down with you and James. None of us know why. Well, when I mean none of us I mean Peter and I. So technically, that’s not really a lot of people but-”

I pull at his tie and threaten to poke his eye out with my quill.

“Stay on topic, damn it!”

“Hot damn! Alright! It was basically Remus and Frank talking. So what ever happened with you and James, is still between you two, I’m guessing. Because I didn’t see James last night and if you think Remus knows what went on, then ask him about it. He didn’t tell us if he knew or not. Frank just spoke about some really weird stuff that was going on with one of his ‘clients’ or whatever, and that sooner or later Frank would have to tell his friend what he’d done. So, I dunno. He might have been preparing himself and asking Remus for the low down. It was all very confusing, because at the same time Remus was talking to him in freaking coded language. A lot of words from the dictionary that I’ve never heard before.”

“Confusing? Frank is anything but,” I say defensively, without realizing it.

“Are you kidding? That fellow’s kinda nuts.” Sirius makes the motion of turning his index finger in a circle near his head.

My face becomes flat. “You’re lucky you’re dating Emma,” I conclude, “or else I’d shank you with my shanking knife.”

I’m in the middle of turning around when a note slaps me in the face. I take the crinkled aero-dynamic face scraping device and look around the room for the person responsible.

It’s Frank Longbottom, all the way across the classroom. Jessica and her partner just so happen to be right in front of Frank and his partner. From what I can see, Jess is snapping at Frank’s partner, calling him, what I can lip read off of my best friend, to be ‘twit’ and ‘tosser’, while Frank almost smiles. He raises his eyebrows in amusement. I almost laugh.

Something tells me Frank knew this was going to happen, considering he was the one who chose where to sit. He raises his eyebrows again, indicating that it’s time to open my note.

She’s cynical, she is.

I can only guess who he’s talking about.

What can I say? She’s one of a kind.
I throw back the note, and before I know it, Sirius is working on his side of the project, I’m almost done with the burning formulas, and whilst all this is happening – Frank and I throw notes back and forth to each other.

She sure is… Hey, have you seen James today?

No. But I did see you and his friends chatting at the Ravenclaw table. What was that about?

Oh. No need to worry. Sirius and Peter know nothing, really. They kind of understand the jest and the situation and how complicated it is; they don’t know what really went on with you and James. Remus and I talked though.

Well, don’t pee yourself. He only knows the limited amount of info James told him. He didn’t blab as much to Remus as you did with me. No need to freak out.

BAH! So he knows only a limited amount of info, and you didn’t share anything about James with him except the situation at hand…. Alright… This is alright… Damn it, no it’s not!

I know that you can see me rolling my eyes, so I’m not going to mention that I’m doing it right now; nor will I write it down. ANYWAY, Remus is a good kid. And he’s not a nut. If anything, he’d try to fix things, not try and make an episode about it.

I know that, it’s just… I don’t know where James is! I’m freaking out and I’m losing my cool, here. I’ve been trying to think about how James would feel right now, or where I’d find him… But I have no idea. I’m scared of what to expect!

You need to learn to live frugally on surprise, Evans. It’s only first period!
Frank. I can’t deal with anymore surprises. ‘Oh-hey-bam-smelly perfume-let’s make out-oh no someone is at the door-oh shit-running’ is the only word I can use quotations around to try and simplify in one word what was done.

I’m not rolling my eyes, really.
I’m not narrowing my eyes, really.

Oh, must you? Really?

Oh, yes. I like to take your moves and throw them back in your face. Makes me feel edgy. I do like it.

Speaking of Jessica, she’s harassing my partner.

Paha, shove off. You planned this.

I have no idea what you are talking about whatsoever, really.

I smile for a while, and I think back on what Sirius said to me. I’m hesitant to ask him this, but I need to know.

Hey, Frank?

What did you talk about with Remus if it wasn’t really about James and I? Were you asking Remus questions about James?

…You could say that.

You’re going to tell him aren’t you? That you broke you’re promise to him?

Evans, this doesn’t concern you. Don’t fret.

It does concern me! It does! Frank, I’m not sure if James can handle both of us in one day, that is – if either of us finds him first. I’m just worried about you.

I don’t know what’s going to happen, to be honest. But you shouldn’t be worried about it. I had a choice. And it was, for what I thought to be, for the greater good. He won’t be pleased, but he needs to know.

Frank. He has a temper. I don’t want this escalading into a fight. He doesn’t know that I know that he… whatevers me.

You can say it to me, you know. “He doesn’t know that I know that he loves me” isn’t that hard to say.
A part of me really doesn’t believe it, and it’s going to take a while to sink it. I can’t say it. I took me ages to hear me say James’s first name again. There’s so much unexplained crap that just doesn’t add up if he felt that way about me. But that’s something me and him are going to have to talk about. I know that he doesn’t love me.

Don’t you trust me?

Please. Don’t start with this. You know I trust you. But just thinking about it gives me a headache.

Gives YOU a headache? Now Jessica’s partner is starting to bitch at ME. Finelly’s freaking recruiting CLONES of herself to come attack me now. Apparently I don’t know how to add in newt’s foot and stir it twelve times in a counterclockwise direction.

And who was the genius that sat next to Jess just for kicks? ;]

Don’t go off acting like a poop face, now. Desk space was limited. I swear.



It’s almost lunch time.
It’s almost lunch time and James is nowhere in sight.

We’re in Muggle Studies right now. Guess who decided to not show up?

James Fucking Potter.

Not to mention, it’s even more awkward now with Remus and me now that he’s seen me running down a hallway with no hoodie. He handed it to me when he walked in for class. I felt like my cheeks where going to explode. Bah, he was there on the other side of that damn door last night… and almost witnessed it. And when I say ‘it’ I know you know what I’m talking about!

So stop giving me that naughty look.

For the past ten minutes of class, Remus and I have been giving each other awkward smiles of ‘let’s be friendly’ gestures. You know what someone needs to invent? ‘I snogged your BFF in your grandmother’s basement, my bad’ gestures. Yep.

I hadn’t the time to ask him about his talk with Frank this morning because class started before I had a chance to speak. I’m lucky if I catch him after class; Remus is anal about beginning class early and getting there on time. But Remus had explained to me before class started, in the small amount of time that we had, that he locked James and I into his granny’s basement to see how compatible we were and if we could talk things out on our own. At first, I was kind of pissed; but I can see where he’s coming from. He was just really confused and cared about his friend (James) and wanted to know why he had such a problem with another person (me). He was only trying to help. But what ever James told him is really turning Remus to jell-o. Half of his attempts at his ‘let’s be friendly’ gestures resulted in him staring at the ground. Remus Lupin can’t make eye contact with me.

For some reason I know not.
Whatever, at least I got my hoodie back.

Besides the SILENT BUT DEADLYs from Albert and Professor Franklin’s eagle eye on Sirius, nothing else is really going on. We were assigned to write notes about computer codes and how they send messages to electronics. It’s another one of those internet lessons from a computer website. It’s ironic though, that we don’t print anything out. No output devices at all. No printers or fax machines. We have to handwrite our notes. I guess Hogwarts couldn’t afford printers. But whatever, I’m kinda happy about it. It gets my mind off the pressure of talking to James. I’m growing to be senile, waiting to see him. He’s ditching class on purpose, I just know it.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Our computer training is almost over guys! One last week :[
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Yeah, I wonder what we’re gonna do after that.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Is our classroom not gonna have computers in it anymore?

Not again. The last thing I need right now is another Instant Message chat!
Hogwarts needs to get rid of computers, now.
It’s starting to alienate me.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: We’re gonna have to return to this class for Muggle Studies every time, it’s just going to have different equipment for each lesson we cover.

Alright, so I succumbed to the Instant Message addiction.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: I heard we’re going to be doing some crafts or something. No cooking, though. Dumbledore said he banned the idea from the start. I’m kind of glad.
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Yeah, me too. I want to stay alive. No more explosions.
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: And then after that we’re going to do dance, I think.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Ew! That’s for chicks.
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: You do realize that ‘chicks’ dance with men. Ergo, dance is for both men and women.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: What ever, as long as I don’t have to wear one of those tardy things.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Tardy things – that means late things, doesn’t it?
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Peter, you idiot. THAT’S A LEOTARD. And unless you’re a secret gymnast, you won’t be needing one.

We say our goodbyes and log out, and with that, I go to my next period. But not before clearing the air with Remus. I approached him, but he said that he didn’t want to get into it now and said that maybe at lunch he’d talk to me about it.

The nerve!

It’s already gotten darker out, and I wonder if this is supposed to be some sort of sign telling me something bad is going to happen. I pray nothing bad does. I don’t think I can take anymore disappointment. After Transfiguration, I head to lunch and sit with Emma and Jessica when I arrive. And when I set down my bag, all Jess starts talking about is how much she wants to punch Frank Longbottom’s face in- all the while I’m scanning around, looking for Remus.

“- His partner has the attention span of a dung beetle! They’re perfect for each other!” Jessica says in a fit of irritation. “Do you know what it was like, trying to get my diagram done, with Longbottom practically sitting on my back, trying to copy of me? He’s luck he’s still part of the male race- !”

Emma is nodding her head along, pretending to pay attention to Jessica’s nonsense, while reading The Daily Prophet. “Mhm, yes…” she mumbles, not even bothering to listen to Jess.

But the really bad part is that Ms. Finelly too into her rant to notice anything else. I wouldn’t be surprised. After Potions, she acchio’d her red and black zebra print bag. That could have meant one of two things: she’s pretending to hide something she fully knows the truth about, or she’s in a stubborn mood and hates all men at this point. Even Father Christmas.

With this kind of ratio two to one, two being the two options and one being the bag in question, I’m really quite confused on how I’m supposed to find out which mood she’s in. Jessica’s a complex individual, as you can tell. I’d like to say a mix of both, but I’m afraid my tongue might get cut off. Or worse, my eyes could get scratched out.

I need these puppies! I gotta find Remus!

“He’s not here yet? What are those marauders doing? Hibernating?” I ask myself. Well, I ask myself quietly, but obviously no one’s even trying to listen.

“- If I see that kid one more time, I’m going to knock him into next week –”

“..Sure, totally agree…”

“That little wanker! He just had to sit near me to torture my partner and me –”

“…Definitely,” Emma says out of nowhere. Now she’s not even waiting for Jessica to stop talking, she’s just interrupting Jess with her Yes’s and Totally’s. Now that’s just embarrassing.

“Wah- Emma, are you even listening?!” Jessica freaks out, starting to catch on.

Okay, that’s enough for me. I’m leaving.

“I’m gonna go look for Remus,” I state.

I leap out of my table, leaving my filled plate to get cold. I better freaking find Remus Lupin. My first meal of the day was already crappy without my bacon, he better not make me leave my plate for too long – Because I’m willing to take my whole lunch period straightening this thing out. And me talking to Remus after lunch, during Ancient Runes, is an idea that’s over my bloody dead body. We need to talk about his conversation with Frank this morning and say things thoroughly. If I can’t find James today, I’m not going to let his friends slip away. I need as much info as possible!

I search near the doors, and as luck has it, I find him rushing in my direction. I let out a big sigh and get ready to go back to my seat with Remus Lupin next to me; except, he runs towards me and is pale white.

“Lily,” He pants.

I take his shoulders as he grabs his knees. “What?!”

“Sorry, I had to rush down here- I- we need to talk.”

Remus pushed me out in the corridor and starts to regulate his breathing. “When I gave you that hoodie in Muggle Studies, I remembered something that James told me about-”

“Oh, jeez,” I squeak.

“It’s- OH, oh. No, don’t worry about that,” He assures me.

But it’s ‘what’ he’s assuring me that I wanna know…

“Worry about what?”

“About me knowing about it.”

“You knowing about what?”

“It. I know what happened and you don’t need to worry ABOUT me knowing it.”

“But, WHAT is it that you’re telling me you know ABOUT?”

“SWEET BROOMSTICK RIDING PONIES!” Remus screams out like a girl. His arms fly up in the air, his hands in fists. “Why is it that when we try to have a conversation it turns into a game of Wordsworth’s bullshit?!”

I give him my ‘wtf’ face. “Well, damn. Go ahead, speak. Let me just shut up,” I snap, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes.

His eye twitches. “As I was saying…”


“You don’t need to get nervous about what I know. When I opened the door to the basement, I thought it was time to see how things were going. I know it was terrible of me to do what I did, but you can understand where I’m coming from, can’t you?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “Muh,” I respond. Apparently, that’s enough understanding for him to continue talking without a pause.

“All that James told me, while he was retrieving your hoodie, was that something happened between the both of you. He said that it was like your skin was like fire to him. And then I asked him how he knew that- and- well- Gah, don’t make me say it…”

“Remus,” I say dangerously.

He hands his head. “James told me that you two had a hot passionate snog like in a Hispanic soap opera.”

I give him the stink eye. “Must all people refer to what happened as something in a Hispanic soap opera? I mean REALLY,” I huff. First Frank, now Remus.

“But that’s all he told me. No details like what you told Frank. After I told him my side he assured me that I didn’t know every detail, and that I should be proud that I didn’t because then I would have been kind of weirded out if I saw you – and I’m kinda relieved that I don’t know.”

I raise my finger and try to object but he puts a hand up and bellows in a plead-like manner, “Don’t tell me anything!” I snap my mouth shut. “Anyway…James started talking about what went on before you two kissed. He mentioned the box of fragrances you were checking out. So I looked through the box, and I started panicking.”

I furrow my eyebrows. “Why?”

“Lily, old magical scents can be dangerous; and my grandmother was a very, er, prestigious woman to many males,” he starts to blush.

I try to stop myself from giggling. “Are you saying your grandmother was a promiscuous tart?” I am slightly amused.

“I don’t wanna talk about it! Back on topic; I was a bit worried because her fragrance collection contained illegal love potion ingredients-”


“Wait, calm down!” He tries to shush me but my mouth is just hanging open.

Ginger biscuits! I completely forgot that there were illegal substances in the Amore perfume!

“Well, I talked to my grandmother via owl, and I found out that she used perfumes like that to seek men that she assumed to be in love with her for her looks. She used the perfume that you used, the ‘lust’ numbered bottle, to find out if the men she was with really loved her. It makes people, uh-”

Here Remus is, about to tell me what the perfume is capable of, and he pauses! “Spit it out!”

“It makes the people do what they desire most, and it lasts depending on how much you spray on. Most of the time, my grandmother used it and found out that their actions swayed away from her. After the scent wore off, my grandmother and said, um, pursuer would snap out of it. They’d stare at each other; while the guy would plead that what he said wasn’t really him, my grandmother knew better. She used this perfume as a secret weapon to realize which one of the men she was with really loved her.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“You don’t even know the half of it,” Remus says in a disgusted manner. He looks off and tries to find something to stare at, but he’s failing terribly. “When my granny used it on of the guys, it just so happened that his true feelings were shown, while my granny acted the way she felt towards him; they both were infatuated with each other. The guy showed nothing but desire to be with her. And, oh, fuck…”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Let’s just say someone related to me was conceived that night. And my grandmother found out the one man that truly loved her for her, using that love potion. All the others trash talked her and acted completely opposite of how she’d feel about them. She was tired of falling for dickheads, so that’s why she started used that perfume in the first place. She dodged the crumby guys, and found my grandfather in the end. It could be seen as quite brilliant when you think about it, but I learned about it from my freaking grandmother. She bakes biscuits, for crying out loud!”

“Oh. My. God.”

“And I did not like how she described everything. She tried doing that ‘teenage slang thing’ and picked it up during the summer while watching reality TV. Needless to say, reading that letter made me want to vomit. My grandmother didn’t have to tell me she was THAT promiscuous, honestly….”

“Oh. My. God.”

“But I did some research in the library this morning and checked out a book. I read it after Astronomy last period. I was too busy, after Muggle Studies, to talk with you because I wanted to get to class early so I could take it out and read it. Sorry about that, by the way. I read some really strange stuff. Let me just conclude the basic thought about the love potion scent for you: it makes you act, or do, what you secretly desire.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“So what ever happened between you and James Potter, you secretly wanted it, or you were secretly wishing it to happen,” he finishes. “And I guess you two secretly wanted to snog each other. Both of you realized what the other person’s intention was; to be with the other said person.”

I take a deep breath.
And scream off the top of my lungs.

Suttle. ahahah. XD
Well, I had fun writing this one alot!
I think I'm done with pictures for now :P And as for the music, I trust you all to choose what ever you want to listen to now. I've done my part, and now it's time for you guys to decide somethings in this fic, finally ;D Review and let me know you're fave quotes! I really really like reading them.

Since I lost over 200 reviews, don't forget to re-review all my other chaps, pweeaasssseee ^_^

Chapter 21: False Accusations
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A/N- I would just like to say that this chapter is in the views of the girls in my fic. I wanted to try something different :) Also, this chapter is based off a song called "Believe" by The Bravery because it's relative to what's really going on. It surrounds belief in a series of ways; time for you to figure out what.



To be blatantly honest, I never pictured this as a part of my life. Not once did I picture this moment as something that could go on in reality. I never thought I’d have memories like this to look back on, let alone live through. But what was happening now, it was undeniable. It was happening partially because I wanted to inflict as much jealousy as I could on Amos Diggory, but most of it was happening because of ME.

Deep down inside, I know that there was a flame just itching to do this. To know what it would feel like to actually WANT it, because it was barely something I got to feel on my own accord. A part of me was just… curious… to how it would feel. And it feels indescribable. Because what’s happening now shouldn’t happen. Because what ever happened in that ‘basement’ should have never happened in the first place.

Because it feels so right it’s wrong.

But I can’t stop, because I’m afraid that if I break it off I’ll start crying. Not that it matters anyway – they’re bound to find us sooner or later. Either that or James will break it off first.

I absolutely hate the fact that right now, I actually want this. It goes against just about everything. But just for this moment, for this one time in my life, I want to be as reckless as possible. I want it more for myself than I do for Amos Diggory to see me doing it.

Little did I know that this would flick off and begin a chain reaction of unfortunate events.

_Lunch Time Outside The Great Hall_

Remus just slammed his arm on my freaking head, wrapping me around like he’s trying to snap my neck.

“Are you mad?! Clinically insane? Shut up!”

I refuse to believe what Remus is telling me. That I… wanted, to snog James? Hell no! No. I was absolutely sure at the time that it wasn’t what I wanted, snogging him in the Room of Requirement. It happened by itself, it did. I most definitely didn’t participate and I had nothing to do with it. Remus has his info mixed up. I am not going to be told how to feel a bout someone. Especially if I grew up loathing that someone.

“You honestly have a problem with realizing things and taking them well,” Remus spits out, as he walks me down the corridor away from the Great Hall.

I stay silent. What Remus just told me is not true. Nope. Never happened. Never. What basement? What love potion? Pfft…no. Nothing whatsoever. I don’t even want to think about it.

Think about the possibility of WANTING James in any way…

I’m not going to say anything about this right now, nor am I going to object to Remus about it right now. I can’t. It’ll only make it worse, and the last thing I want to do is think about the idea of me ‘wanting’ to secretly make out with James Potter in the Room of Requirement. It’s totally bogus. I’m almost frightened by the idea. If it’s true, then how could everything have been what it had been for so long? If it was true…?

No, it’s not true at all. And poor Remus Lupin thinks he knows what’s going on.
There’s no possibility that it’s NOT false. Because it doesn’t even make a remotely small amount of sense. Hmm…

Let me think about this once again: James is supposedly ‘in love with me’ (hah!), the love perfume was really a love potion in disguise made to torture innocent redheads (believable), we secretly wanted each other in the Room of Requirement (no comment), and James basically skipped school today to avoid me (affirmative until proven otherwise).

You know, this really is a shit list.

“Lily, calm down. Please. You make me want to gauge my eyes out with your inconsistency to keep a normal brain wave.”

I slowly turn my head in a Bloody Mary kind of way and crane my neck, as if it’s creaking into position. I look at him.

“In other words,” he continues with an eye roll, “your lack of stability does not surprise me, but it sure does wear my patience out.”

Remus lets go of me and we stand near the moving staircases.


“Wait, stop.”

I twitch. “Stop what…? Let me speak-”

“No, wait,” he interrupts. “Wait for what, Lupin?” I cry out.

“In about 30 seconds, your heart rate should decrease. Then I’ll be about to tell you more when you can handle it.”


I throw my arms in the air and arch my neck. “There’s more?!”

What the hell could he throw on me now? ‘Oh, by the way, my calculations say you are two days late for your period’?

“…Are you calm?” Remus asks me after about five minutes of hyperventilation. I put my back to him and look at the wall, putting my hand on my waist. The other hand holds me up against the wall and I hang my head. Damn him.

“Yes, maestro-of-all-things-evil Lupin,” I try to say coldly, though I’m sure it didn’t sound cold. Remus ignores me and my assumption is affirmative.

He says, “I’ve found out where Prongs is. Or rather, where Prongs was all day.”

My head snaps. “Well…where the hell is he?”

“Let me explain first.”

“Okay,” I mumble hesitantly.

“Last night he slept in the basement, because he couldn’t go back to our dormitory.”

I try to stop my mouth from falling over. I put myself together and respond.

“…He stayed there?”

“Yes. He was as confused as I was over what happened between you two. He said he wanted alone time, I gave it to him. But it left my mind during school today, and I completely forgot until on my way to the library, just as I was rushing out of Muggle Studies with you first period, that I still hadn’t seen him. See, I was still contemplating how you two snogged-” I flinch, “and what caused it; I totally blanked out on everything else. I wanted to do research in the library before I owled my gran.”

I cross my arms and look him straight in the face.

“When I walked by that corridor… something clicked. And I remembered where I was walking, and I momentarily dropped my determination to find out more about the love perfume. Only the marauders know how to make the door to the Room of Requirement appear again while it is still in use. I used it both times when I locked you and Prongs in there. So I counter-charmed the door to appear while thinking about ‘finding James Potter in the Room of Requirement’ and it worked out better than I planned… I actually found him. He was still in there.”

“So you found him there and you let him stay? Why’d you leave him in there for the first half of classes?” I ask him in an impossible manner.

“He didn’t want to leave! Believe me, I tried. Prongs was in full uniform when I found him. He probably used the Accio spell to bring down all his stuff… I doubt he’d have an extra uniform in his bedroom… So Prongs obviously had the intention of leaving. He was munching on snacks when I found him in his bedroom, flipping thought his new issue of Wizard’s Quarterly. He’s been conjuring up food for himself- it doesn’t matter if he comes to lunch.”

I get a somewhat photoflash about the struggle I had to go through this morning. And I get annoyed very, very fast.

“So let me get this straight; I’ve been sweating bullets all day because your bro-ho was missing school and was no where to be found, while you found out after Muggle Studies, BEFORE you went to the library, and you come down to me periods later at lunch time to tell me this… and through all of that you kept him there the whole time.”


“That’s a sack of shit, Remus.”

“I’m sorry! I was very determined to go to the library! And give me some freaking credit, all right? I ran all the way down here just to find you. Not all of it is a sack of shit, thank-you-very-much.”

“Oh, no. It’s a complete set of sunshine and rainbows. Hell, through a bouquet of daisies in there, why don’t you.”

“I didn’t even do anything-”

“Hah! Exactly-”

“It is NOT my fault; I still had classes to attend-”

“Shut your gob-”

“He didn’t even want to leave-”

“I was a complete wreck, Remus. I lost my cool, and my state of mind vanished-”

“Your state of mind vanished a long time ago…”

“– And it took me so long to achieve that type of nirvana-”

“Isn’t that a place you go once you’re dead? Or…?”

“– And now I’ll never get it back!”

Shitballs. This conversation isn’t going anywhere. Man, what’s the point? Conversations with Remus Lupin never go anywhere.

“Let’s cut to the chase,” I bargain. He scratches the back of his head.

“You talk too much sometimes. I just gave myself a migraine.”

I roll my eyes and snap my fingers repeatedly. “Stay focused, Gryffie. I can’t live my life like a decapitated caterpillar… I need to settle this. Let’s go get James. Now.”

He doesn’t move. I have the urge to flick his earlobe like I’m swatting a fly.

“…You want to get James?”

I just said his name out loud, didn’t I?
Hm. I guess it just came so naturally, I didn’t even think of holding back.
But whatever, I don’t really care.

“You’re kidding, right?” I ask him sarcastically. “You’ve seen how horrid my day’s been and you find out where James is; riding shotgun on my back isn’t entertaining enough for you? All that and you’re surprised that I want to go get James?” I look around me for some common sense.

Nope, can’t find any.

“Well, I didn’t think you’d want to go face to face with Prongs and search for him yourself. He’s on this floor, sure…but it’s not like you could do it by yourself even if you tried. You don’t know the charm.”

“Come with me then, obviously.”

Really?” Did Remus honestly ask me that?

I exhale exasperatedly. “Yes. Obviously! I want to look for him. Why is that so hard to believe?”

Uh, maybe I shouldn’t have asked that.

Remus Lupin points to each of his fingers and names them off. “You’re the Queen of Freakouts; You don’t care for logic – which annoys me to no end; you don’t have much confidence to stand up for yourself; you aren’t outgoing enough to back yourself up if something bad happens; the guy that always used to make you tick has now become your weakest link.”

I purse my lips and raise my own hand and begin to count off my fingers, doing the same. “Freaking out his healthy; screw logic; I do too have self confidence…somewhere; not everyone likes to be outgoing; no comment.” I take a big breathe and start again.

“And if you want to analyze my character then I’ll do the same! You’re an Ancient Runes nerd; you do NOT know how to relax instead of studying; sometimes I think you’re going to bark at me like a freaking wolf – which I hate; you’re on Madame Pince’s Most Wanted List for her books on love potions; have you ever tried to have a conversation with yourself?”

Take that piece o’ cake, Remmy. And take it good.

_Lunch Time In The Great Hall_ 

“Emma! Are you even listening to me?” I ask, completely agitated. Here I am, trying to vent out my frustration by explaining why I want to annihilate Frank Longbottom and his stupid Potions partner, and Emma's not even paying attention to me. To think why someone as idiotic as Longbottom got into Hogwarts, is just beyond me.

“You know what; I can’t take it anymore, Jessica. You’re senile! You remind me of my Grandma Mildred when she doesn’t have her morning piss. I’ve tried to pretend being interested in your stupid obsession with Frank for long enough –”

“WOAH! Hold it right there, Tebbon. I do not obsess about Frank!” Does Emma have her bra on backwards? Or maybe her necklace is cutting off her circulation and her breathing isn’t coming out right and her brain feels deprived so she’s not speaking any sense?

Emma rolls her eyes. “Oh, what ever it is. You have to stop. It’s driving both Lily and I completely nuts!”

“Now, don’t just assume Lily thinks the same –”

“I’m not assuming, I know,” she chuckles. “You have an evil chuckle,” I tell her.

She tilts her head to the side and looks at me with that reverse psychology face. The kind that says ‘come on, I’m right, don’t make me say it’.

I put my shoulders back, chin up, and look in the other direction. “I’m not saying it,” I tell her in a voice that resembles a pompous eight year old.

She laughs. “Jessica. We all know.”

I give her my transition of early stages through the age of caveman face. “First, who is ‘we’ in this equation? And second, you all know what?

She gives me the ‘don’t make me say it’ face, again. By this point my bottom row of teeth are barred.

“You’re seething, Jess. You know that’s not cute. Wouldn’t want Frank to see you like that, would you…” Emma attacks with her innocent smile and cute little blue eyes.

My mouth drops. “You, tosspot. I don’t care what Frank thinks of me.” Pfft. She’s in denial. I mean she makes it seem like I care when Frank’s face pops up in my vision and my throat gets all dry and the only thing I can think about is how to insult him. It’s just so annoying.

You know what else is annoying? Frank’s nonexistent nose hairs. It would be bloody fantastic if I could make a joke about a guy’s nose hairs. And he has none! He’s practically a bum but he still has hygiene. Who knew?

“The ‘we’ in question is Lily, Remus, Sirius, James, Peter, and me…”

My heart has stopped. Not the kind of, oh my I’m so nervous, kind of stopped. The kind of, where’s my oxygen, bitch, kind of stopped.

“…And Frank knows, too.”

“W-what?” I squeak out instantly. What the heck… I don’t squeak. Get it together, Jessica Finelly. I’m not a freaking pansy. Lily kinda is, but she knows it. I don’t want to face that harsh reality. But back to my train-wreck life…

They know? Like as in… know about… that thing? The thing I don’t know what to do about?

No, that’s bullshit. They don’t know anything. And certainly not Frank himself. He doesn’t notice a lot. Well, actually he has the eyes of a cat in the dark, but he doesn’t notice a lot when he’s arguing with me. Hell, if I told him what color my hair was he’d say, ‘the color of dung’. That’s not charming. Then again a slug would be more charming than Frank Longbottom. And he couldn’t act that way around me if he knew. He’d make my life a living hell. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

He would.

“Emma. What is it exactly that they know?” I choke out slowly. How did they find out?!

“Do you really want me to say it?”

Goodness, no. Please tell me no. Tell me none of you know anything. And that you’re all just hairy little baboons.

Emma doesn’t look gloat-y. Hm, maybe it’s a trick thing? She’s looking at me like she- ah, shit. She’s looking at me like she… CARES about me. Sweet hot sauce covered penguins. If they know…

My life would be over and I’d have to retire from Hogwarts at barely sixteen and become a Jesuit priestess.


Emma gives me a little smile and leans down near my ear. “That you can’t stop thinking about Frank and it’s killing you because you have no idea why you fight with him so much,” she whispers as plainly as a sack of fucking potatoes.


“Oh,” I scoff, “that…”

“Come off it. It annoys you to even be around him and you know it. And here I am, telling you something you have yet to admit… and you say that? Get out of your training bra, sweetie. You can say it.”

“No, I have nothing to say.”

She almost throws down her newspaper. I eye her up. Why’s she gotten all feisty?

“I want to hear you say: I don’t know why Frank annoys me. I hate him because I do not know the reason why he annoys me. I do not hate him because of actual dislike, but because I get a rise out of him. And because he’s the one person I can’t understand. But I’ve been so immature that I haven’t had the time to think that maybe if I talked it out with Frank I’d be able to get along with him.” 

Screw it!

I retort, “I want to here YOU say: Oh, Jessica. I understand what you’re going through. I get it. I know that if you let him win in this by speaking first then you’ll be looked down on by Frank. You’ll be the weak one if he finds out that you, Jessica, the prettiest brunette in the world, hates him because you can’t figure out WHY he annoys you. He’d make fun of you. Because he also gets annoyed at you because you annoy him. Which is how this all got started. You’d be the blame for it all. He’d think you were an ill-tempered radioactive squirrel with rabies for starting a stupid war over the fact that you just can’t for the life of you understand why every time you see him, he gets under you’re skin.” I exhale very loudly.

Emma turns to me fully, accepting my challenge.

“I would appreciate it if you could say: Emma, I know. You’re such a great friend. You have the most perfect hair and the best bum I’ve ever seen on a girl… I’m so envious. This is why I’m going to try and be the mature individual in this situation and set things straight; so I can be just like you. I’ll talk to Frank and I know he won’t judge me, because people go to him for help all the time with open arms and not one of them has ever had a complaint.”

I swallow the nervous lump in my throat.

“Could you please say: But what if it all goes to shit, Jessica? Are you sure you want send yourself down a murderous road? See the boy that annoys you and tell him that he ticks you off because of some stupid reason you can’t figure out? Can you really talk to him in a civil manner?” I ask her, pretending to be Emma still.

“I’m sure you can say: I don’t know, but I’ll try.” She puts her hand on my shoulder, and gives me that look your great aunt throws at you when you know you did something wrong.

Fuck my life.

“Hey, sweetie. What’s going on?” My boyfriend says to me as he takes seat. I peck him on the lips.

“Oh, nothing. Just chatting with Jess.”

“Yeah. Emma’s taking a road trip down to hell. And guess whose riding shotgun with her?”

Actually, if I’m allowed to be correct, I’m not driving her. We aren’t going together.

In a theoretical sense, of course.

Because talking to Frank, I’m sure, is not a shotgun ride to hell.

“You’re being so melodramatic,” I tell her wisely. I flip a page through my Daily Prophet; I get bored quickly and grab the new issue of Enchanted on the table. I go straight to the horoscopes.

Sirius shifts himself towards me and whispers, “Em, did you talk to her about the ‘thing’?”

“Yes, but not a lot of it. Well, not the you-both-need-to-snog part.” 

Do I look like an idiot? Surely he didn’t think I’d just blab out to Jess and tell her why she feels the way she does towards Frank. I don’t understand why Sirius thinks it’s a good idea to just get on with it. Jess has to find out on her own. So she doesn’t kill us all.

Sirius rolls his eyes…his beautiful colored eyeballs. Oh, he’s so cute when he does that.

“Come on! She and Frank have the hots for each other. So what? Tell her and get it over with,” he blurts.

“They have to find out on their own, sweetie. It’s their lives, not ours. We can’t just lash out at them and tell them something they have no idea about. Besides, it’s so much more romantic this way!” I can’t help but give him a cheesy grin.

Before Sirius has the chance to respond, Jessica pops up from under the table.

…Under the table?!

“What are you two talking about? Why is there whispering? Did you two forget about me also being at this table?!”

“Holy blue. Finelly, did you just crawl under –”

Jessica’s arm marks contact with Sirius in a place I’d rather not talk about.

“Shut your pie-hole, Sirius. People can see me from this angle if you bend over any more!” she practically hisses. I don’t think she realizes that the reason he’s bending over is because she’s just hit him the gentiles. But I keep my mouth shut about that part.

I blink rapidly. “We were just talking, for not even a minute, and you crawled under the table because you thought we forgot you were here? Jessica…do you hear yourself?” I tell her impossibly.

“Well, when you put it like that…”

Her head is in my lap.

“I thought that whatever you two were whispering about, you didn’t want me to hear. I assumed you were conspiring against me. So I needed to pop up on you when you least expected it.”

“Oh, yeah. We’re preparing for your burning at the stake secretly behind your back,” Sirius hisses, bending over and cradling his… injured area.

“We were just having a normal conversation. You know, couples like Sirius and I can have private convos. And friends do not let friends punch their boyfriends where the sun don’t shine.”

“Oh, gimme a break,” she scoffs. ‘Like that’s even a virtue to follow.” Rising from the ground, she fits herself in between Sirius and me.

That’s just fabulous.

My friend, Jessica Finelly, just crawled on the ground, while she was only two feed away from me, and slithered under the table, and punched my man in the freaking crotch. And she’s telling me that it’s not a good rule to follow?

Is there any decency in the world?

Jessica looks at me, and her eyes almost pop out. “So what were you guys talking about?” She asks in a paranoid manner, while grabbing food off the Sirius’s plate, and eating it with her fingers.

Sirius is about to speak, but I cut him off quickly. “-Nothing! Just talking about our horoscopes.” I lay out the magazine in front of Jess and look for her zodiac sign, which is Leo. Very proper, don’t you think? Even if she isn’t like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz, at least she roars like one.

“Lemme see!” she squeals. Jessica sure does love her magazines.

I take it from her. “No, let me read it to you!” I say a little too loudly. Sirius looks at me weird, but goes along with it.

Jess might be a bit daft and should probably know where things are headed before she talks with Frank – just in case anything happens… so it’s time to become a matchmaker! I’ll inform Sirius after Jessica leaves. I know, I’m genius. Sirius can help out with Frank, and I can take care of Jess. Hopefully.

Leo’s are usually warm hearted creatures with just enough creativity to keep things interesting,” I read off. “They think outside the box and broaden their horizons mentally,” Merlin, that’s a lie, “and most Leos are enthusiastic individuals. Although they are loyal, faithful, and fun to be around, a lot of Leos can be pompous,” no comment, “and interfere with matters that have nothing to do with them. Very few grow up to become adults without experiencing being bossy in their teenage years,” well this is just excellent, “and many grow up without tolerance of other people. They have short fused tempers and can become patronizing when they feel threatened.”

“Wait, when they mean I’m intolerant, do they mean… lactose intolerant people? Or just people in general whom I find intolerable?” Jessica is deeply thinking, and I want to bonk her over the head with my shoe.

“The latter,” I inform in monotone. Honestly, lactose intolerant? What is going on through that head of hers?

Time to tweak it up a bit…

“Hold on, I’m not done.” I make sure Jess can’t peek over and look at the page.

“There’s more?” She asks.

“Oh, yes,” I lie.

Pretending to read off the Cancer horoscope, I make it up as I go.

Madame Pigmy, the best Seer of the century, informs that all Leos will be going through a bit of life changing experiences this month, and should watch out for very obvious things. In the friend department-, apologize to those whom you’ve done wrong to…examples: violence, lies, betrayal, and stuff of that sort. In the school department-, things will be looking better for you and you will slowly achieve that short term goal you’ve been thinking about for a while. In the love department- beware that something you’ve had on your mind for a while will finally become clearer to you...” er, she’s looking confused… what do I say!? “And keep your eyes open for an admirer you might not expect,” I finish off excitedly.

Sirius catches on to what I’m doing, approves, and gives me a thumbs up behind Jessica’s back. The only person who hasn’t caught on is sitting right next to me.

“Huh, that’s weird. I have a boyfriend, in Australia, whom I like a lot… who else could I possibly be with? I know Jeff and I are going through a bit of a fight right now, but it’s because he’s a freaking nincompoop muggle. Did you know that he did a back flip, trying to dedicate his love for me? He broke his leg doing it. Now I’m confused. But I don’t like anyone else,” Jessica says confidently. “Besides, what’s so obvious that I can’t even see it? This supposed admirer? Whatever,” she waves off. I grind my teeth secretly.

“But the friend part,” Sirius smartly intervenes, “could be about Frank.”

“How does he know about my insecurity thing?” Jess whines, pointing to Sirius. I’ll scold her for pointing, and how rude it is, later.

“I told you that everyone knew,” I remind her.

“Ah. Right. Well that’s just perfect.”

“Exactly,” I beam, understand fully what Sirius has in mind.

“No, I wasn’t talking about the horoscope, I was being sarcast-”

“It says that in the friendship department, you have to apologize… its perfect!” I intended that one for my injured-down-under boyfriend, but this will suffice. What ever works, right?

“Oh…” She’s confused. Why is she confused? She just twitched her upper lip and she looks confused. Why is that… why!?

“Madame Pigmy says you have stuff to fix with friends, which totally fits in with Frank. If you go talk to him now, immediately, then you two can probably be friends,” or more, “Apologize to Frank Longbottom, and good things will happen! And then everything else, like the love and school stuff, will come together,” I explain.

“Ew, I have to talk to him now?” Oh, dear.

“Don’t act like a child,” I snap. I push her out of her seat and she shimmies away from me.

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this now,” she complains.

“Zip it!”


“No more butts!”

Jess throws me a scowl. “Fine.”

She starts to walk out of the Great Hall but I call her name.

“Jess, wait!”

I catch up with her and take out my lipstick. Frank will definitely notice the difference… He’s a boy that likes red, I can tell. “Pout your lips!”

And before she can say, “What the fu-” I color her lips with a ruby red that’s dark enough to bring out the brown in her hair and compliment her face. I feel like I’m dressing up one of my dolls, so I think back on how I used to play mothers and daughters (I always won that game) to ease me up- and I pretend that Jess is my niece.

Call me Auntie. Auntie Emma.

_Lunch Time Outside The Great Hall_

I stare at the tapestry hanging from the wall, and wait for Remus Lupin to come back. He’s gone to get James Potter, finally. I couldn’t come with him. Remus kept bitchin’ about how it was his duty or whatever, and that he wanted to get James by himself and blah blah blah…

I stare at the tapestry some more. And some more. Then I get bored and start pacing down the hallway, contemplating what I’m going to say to him. All this trouble, just to have a conversation with James. How bogus.

If you ask me, he’s a coward who can’t come to terms. He needs to man up one day, I’m telling you.

I need this closure, because it’s the beginning of November, in my Sixth Year, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my days until Christmas worrying about his sorry ass. I’ve had to do everything; the thinking, the stupid crying, the one-night binging with alcohol, the strategizing… and what has he done? Nothing. It’s always me getting the piss! He doesn’t worry or strain about a thing, does he?

The Little Man inside my head tells me to be calm. But maybe I shouldn’t listen to the he/she/it living in my mind because it’s also telling me that I shouldn’t be nervous.

Which worries me because who said I was nervous? No one. In fact, that stupid voice just made me realize that my palms are sweating. Eh. Craptastic.


I stop dead in my tracks. No more pacing, no more moving.

I know that voice. I also know the tall, blonde guy that belongs to that voice. I don’t want to turn around. But I can’t think of anything else to do. Am I going to run off and be scared? Go and look for Remus? No, that’s pathetic and ridiculous. I should stop being a sissy about things. Running from him is a cowardice thing to do, and it would make me just like James.

Out of spite for James Potter, I am going to show him how you truly go face to face with someone. So I turn around.


He’s walking towards me, coming from the boys’ bathroom.

“Why aren’t you at lunch?” I ask him, annoyed.

“Why do you care?” He retorts.

“I don’t.” My final reply echoes through the vacant corridor as I wait for him to walk up to me. He has something to say? Diggory can walk up to me and say it.

I’m patient, with my arms crossed, while he walks. Amos Diggory has that stupid smirk on his face. The one that reminds me of Petunia. It makes me feel a little sick, but I keep my shoulders back and chin up.

“I’m here to make a proposition.” He is now face to face with me. Just the proximity, and the sight of his face, makes me dislike him even more.

“I don’t want to be involved.”

“After what I have to say, Evans. I think you will.”

“How did you even find me here?”

He ignores me. “Shut your mouth and listen,” he dictates. “You and I both know that the first Hogsmeade visit of the year is coming up.” He pauses and looks at me. I give him nothing.

“And I don’t have a date. Since your little fiasco hit base with my House, almost all the females have been interrogating me and sneering since.”

I try not to smile too wide. Diggory notices and glares.

“And I figured… you owe me.”

I let the words ring down the corridor for what seems like forever. I hear a ringing sound in my head. Or maybe it's the smoke coming out of my ears.

“Sorry?” I menacingly ask. “What did you say?”

He steps closer to me and I want to step back before I punch his lights out, but I don’t. That would mean defeat. And Diggory is NOT winning.

“I said you owe me. Since we both still have our reputations on the line, we can help each other out. In fact, by going with me, we can show everyone how you came back to me. Which should have happened by now… because the girls always come back. I can get my winning streak back with the ladies.”

Unbelievable. The girls always come back? Winning streak? What, is he going to seduce every girl and make them fall for him again? What a lowlife.

“There’s money involved. Hell, I’m starting a bet with some people –”

“Get out of my sight.”

“I’ll pay you in full.”

“Get the hell out of my sight.”

“Now, now, that isn’t a nice thing to say, sweetie.”

Diggory tries to caress my arm but I shove him roughly.

“You and I both know we can fix our social status and the gossip ladder.”

Is that all he thinks about? Reputation?

“You can’t buy people. Or popularity,” I snap. “And you having to come to me to try and start some sort of bet, which you haven’t explained to me yet, and trust me I’m glad you haven’t, isn’t going to make you a better person or seem like one. Stop acting like a boy, Diggory. And start acting like a man. You’re just a self-righteous bastard with hormonal retardation.”

Did those words really come out of my mouth?!

…Where did they come from?

If that was the Little Man in my head, I am eternally grateful. As long as I can rely on him to help me out in dickhead situations, like the one standing in front of me, he can stay. Little Man, you piss me off, but you sure do kick some ass.

“Let me explain something to you, bitch-”

“Let me explain something to you, Diggory.” I gasp and turn around.


I walk to him. I wonder how he knew I was here.

Who cares! Now is not the time for questions! You’re being incompetent, Little Man!

“Hey, Lily,” Frank mumbles in the crook of my neck. His eyes are on Amos.

“You might want to leave before something starts.”

“I’ll leave when I wanna leave,” he tells Frank.

“You’ll leave when I say you will.” He releases me and becomes dangerously close to Amos. “Because if you start something here and now, you might just realize how much you can’t take.”

He looks at me and sneers. “That would be the manly thing to do, wouldn’t it, Lily?”

Frank takes him by the collar in reaction to him talking to me. Don’t ask me how I know that… I just do.

Oh, boy. Diggory’s tie is messed up. That kid is anal about his uniform. I haven’t really noticed this before… but they are such polar opposites when it comes to clothes. Frank’s shirt is rolled up to his elbows, his tie is let loose, his white beater is showing through the top of his shirt, his school shirt isn’t tucked into his pants… and yet he looks five times more classy than Amos himself. And what he’s doing for me explains what the difference is between a man and a boy.

Because that’s a man right there.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me. Clean the dirty lies from your ears and open them wide because I won’t repeat myself. Do not talk to Lily, do not speak her name. Best not run into her like you did today, or you’ll be lacking in the manhood department more than you already are-”

“Why don’t you find yours before you talk about mine, Longbottom.”

Frank laughs blackly. “Don’t be insecure, Diggory. You’ll find yours some day. Here’s a hint: Look between your legs. It’s like a penis, only smaller.”

Diggory shoves his shoulder against Frank’s.

Ho-ly-Crap. Diggory versus Longbottom…
They’re going to fight right here if I don’t do something!

“Hey. Come on, break it up.” I hesitantly try to find my voice, and try to yell, but it doesn’t go through their heads.

“You Gryffindor losers think you’re hot shit, don’t you? Let me tell you what, baby boy. You stay away from my business.”

“Lily is my business.”

“Oh, so Potter’s sharing now?”

My mouth drops. My vision becomes blurry. But I don’t let them see. I turn around immediately and purse my lips together. Get a grip, Lily. Get a fucking grip. He destroys. He insults. He pushes buttons. He’s not worth your tears.

I hear a loud thud, and I look over my shoulder at the site before me.

Frank has Diggory pinned against the wall, his arm pushed against the jerk’s throat. And his wand is in his other hand. A piece of snapped twig lay on the ground between him and Diggory, and I can only assume that Frank has snapped his opponent’s wand in half.

I start breathing heavily. No. I’m not allowing this to happen.

“Frank. Let him go.” I’ll be damned if Frank get’s detention because of me.


“Frank. He’s not worth it,” I finish.

Frank gives Amos one long, scary look, before pushing him out of his sight.

“This isn’t over yet,” Diggory smugly finishes. “I’ll be right back, you watch.” He turns to me. “I know you still like me. And you can’t prove me wrong.” But he curtly leaves before I can make a sound out of my dry throat. He thinks I like him. He is so full of himself he’s insane. And I can most definitely prove that.

While I see his retreating figure walk down to the Great Hall, I notice two very unfortunate things happening at the same time.

One, I see Jessica walking up the hallway from a far distance. In the same direction Amos is walking towards. That means Jessica just came from the direction of the Great Hall. Amos Diggory and Jessica Finelly are going to pass each other. And I know Jess can see Frank and me down the corridor. I just hope Amos was joking about coming back quickly…

Two, on the other side of the hallway (where Diggory had come from), I see two boys. They had just emerged from the corner, walking down the hallway towards me. And they’ve just walked passed the bathrooms. One is walking in front of the other. Remus and James.

My head snaps back and forth as I try to decipher what to do. Amos just left but Jess is going to catch on that something happened and I just can’t deal with her right now… and James. James is finally here. I have to talk to him and I have no time to explain to Jess what did or did not happen at the same time. I came out here to talk to James Potter, damn it. And I’m going to do it. Remus is going to have to leave, won’t he?

And Frank will… what will he do? Right now he has his thinking face. His eyebrows are furrowed and he wants to help. He’s up for anything, I can tell. He’s the only person I can really understand at the moment. I hear Frank mumbling but I’m too busy to respond; I’m trying to pan this out in my head first.

“He’s an arse, Lily. And I’m sorry Diggory had to come here and assault you like he did. He has no right, the pompous jerk...”

I look at him but I don’t respond. “Can you- can you do something for me?” I ask him quickly.

“Are you alright?” He asks worriedly.

“I’m fine. Really. Thank you for…that. Diggory’s gone, but he was the least of my worries. I have some stuff to clear out and I need you to go distract Jessica.”

Frank’s eyebrows perk up. “What?” He looks around and his eyes finally fall on the two people close to walking passed each other in the hallway. Amos Diggory’s figure is slowly disappearing while Jessica’s slowly coming into full view.

“Go over there and persuade her to leave, or to not meet me at the moment. I have too much to handle right now and Jess will explode if she hears what’s just happened with Diggory. So please… just… postpone her for me. I can’t talk to her right now.”

“…Okay.” He takes a deep breath and gives me a little smile. “You owe me.”

We’ll see about that. “Go,” I push him. But not without giving him a little smile in return. He doesn’t know I’m talking to James. And this means I’ll tell James before Frank can tell him that he broke his promise to him… I’m a genius! As confusing as it sounds, I’ll be able to talk to James. I’ve reached him before Frank, and I know he already has enough people’s trust to worry about. This is between James and me. I respect Frank too much for him to put himself up for blame. This is my responsibility.

_Lunch Time Outside The Great Hall_

What’s Lily doing with Frank? And why is Amos Diggory, dickwad extraordinaire, walking away from them? This has DISASTER written all over it. I have to find out what’s going on! I know Emma kind of pushed me out of the Great Hall, but hey… I could just tell her that something bigger came along…

And I wouldn’t have to deal with Frank! It’s not exactly a lie. And if something bad really is going on, or has already happened, I need take care of the bigger issue. Don’t I?

I steadily stare at Amos Diggory while he walks passed me. And he’s looking arrogant. He gives me a smirk and I suspiciously return his glance. We walk passed each other and I can already feel my head spinning.

I tilt my head away from his patronizing stare and look ahead of me. I’m going to find out what just happened. He’d better not have given them, or rather – given Lily a hard time. I’ll give Diggory hell for it.

Frank is heading my way, and I see Lily walk around the corner. Why did they split up?

“Finelly,” Frank fake smiles.

“Longbottom,” I address curtly. “Where’s Lily off to?” I try to push passed him but he blocks me with his arm against the wall. I am not moving over the other side of him just to move. To hell with it, just because I’m stubborn doesn’t mean I can’t have some dignity. I’m not moving until he moves his arm. I look into his eyes and my neck feels like it’s on fire. It’s doing that annoying thing again. The annoying thing I can’t figure out.

“Don’t worry about her.”


“I don’t think so.”

He’s relaxed, almost as if he thinks there’s no problem. Longbottom has it coming for him if he thinks that – let me assure you. He most likely did this on purpose, because he knew I wouldn’t move until he moved first!

“Move your damn arm. Before I break it off.”

Today might not be the right day to tell Frank. Can start tomorrow…?
I can’t pass this up. Who would I be if I did?

“Let’s have a chat like civilized adults, shall we? Come with me for a moment.”

“Don’t push it, Dungbottom. I’m busy. Chat up some other chick.”

He puts his face close to mine and I can see he’s already pissed.

“If I want to chat you up, I’ll chat you up. Understood?” I am momentarily paralyzed.

Bounce back quickly, Jessica! You are Lady Finelly. Witch extraordinaire. Do not be fooled by his strong facial features, his strong neck, his strong chest…


“Now isn’t the time. Don’t be an arse about it,” I say. That wasn’t too nice, right? I don’t want to seem like I’m getting soft.

“It’s not a choice,” he responds.

His eyes don’t break contact with me and I want to stomp on his foot. Frank Longbottom takes my hand and basically drags me down the hallway at a lightening speed. I don’t even see the motion of the dim lights surrounding me until I rip from his grasp. Did he just fly down this corridor? How the hell did he do that!?

We’re in some old, vacant classroom with dingy lighting. The only light is the one that’s shining from the hallway into the room.

“What the fuck was that, Longbottom?” I rub my wrist. It doesn’t hurt, but I feel like scowling down at my hand where he grabbed me. How could I have been dazed enough for him to just take control like that? Oh, hell no. I am not the person Frank Longbottom can just drag around.

“You know what? I don’t like your attitude.” He’s trying to start a fight in an abandoned classroom? Are you serious?

“I don’t like your non-existent nose hairs.”

Did I just say that out loud? Oh My God – he’s laughing. I’m a fucking idiot.

“Goes to show people can truly hate things that are non-existent. Like your personality. I hate it already,” he chuckles.

But I made him laugh.
What? Who cares? I mean so what – I made him laugh.
Gosh, I am so weird. Like that’s even something to be proud of.

“Listen up, dirt bag. Take you’re stupid insults and shove it!”

“Come up with something creative, Finelly. I’m getting bored.” He’s even ballsy enough to pretend to be interested in his cuticles to show the point.

Oh, I can’t do this.

I surrender. Fuck it all. My boobs hurt, and I think I’m getting on my period. My best friend’s just stalked off and it probably has something to do with Amos Diggory. The boy in front of me is making me feel guilty for reasons I don’t know why. And I don’t even care about Jeff at the moment.

“Fine, Frank. You win.” I look around me, my head snapping in different directions. I know I seem timid but I just don’t want to look at his face right now.

“What?” He whispers disbelievingly.

“I said: You win. Go ahead. Insult all you want. I don’t really care because my boobs-”

“Did you just call me by my first name and said ‘I win’ in the same sentence?”

I don’t say anything for a minute and he continues with, “…And what about your boobs?”

Er… What should I say? Emma’s mentally scolding me, and I know she’s telling me I need to tell him the truth. The reason why I give him a hard time. It isn’t fair. And I’m done arguing because my head feels dizzy from the dust in this room and for once it wouldn’t kill me to give in, right? I’m premenstrual and I don’t want to bitch just because I’m emotion and feel fat. It’s for the common good anyways. Who knows how great I’ll feel if this happens? And we become friends?

“I think the reason we fight so much is because of me. I have to tell you, there’s a reason I mess with your head-” I rush it out all in one breathe but I get cut off.

“You are so predictable.”

My eyes land on Frank quickly. “Excuse me?” I snap. I cross my arms hastily.

“You know, I knew that you knew what was going on. But I thought, hell – she might be creative and do something else. But no, you’re here to surrender to me just like I predicted. I know that there’s no reason for you to dislike me. Other than the fact that I get under your skin. I also know why I get under your skin. And it’s because you can’t find something about me to dislike. And that annoys you.”

My mouth drops open in disbelief. How did he just do that? Did he know all this time what the reason really was? I thought he just knew we annoyed each other!

Anger runs through my veins as I get closer to Frank to make sure that he’s not going to back away, and that he’s going to stand behind what he’s just said. I didn’t even see this coming. And what I hate the most about this is that HE noticed this about me, because he’s stupid Frank and knows everything. But here I am, and I didn’t even predict this. Damn him.

“What’s funny, though, I must say,” he starts devilishly (no seriously, I can see the horns), “is that we both share that annoyance. You didn’t pick up my hints that I argued with you for the same reasons. I was hoping you’d make this fun. But no. You gave up. And you started telling me something I already knew. You are so bloody predictable, Finelly…”

I see red when I look back into his face, and all I want to do is prove him wrong. I get dangerously close to him and catch him off guard. I take a hold of his tie, and pull at his neck.

“You can’t predict shit, Longbottom,” I say, and I kiss him.

Take that, you son of a bitch.

James walking towards me feels like a film going through slow motion. My eyes take in his feet, his hips, his shoulders, and his face. He’s not looking straight at me, but he’s not looking at the ground, either. There’s a shadow on his face from the lack of shaving this morning and I can’t stop staring at his hazel eyes. James is wearing his school pants, school shoes, but no school shirt. No, he’s just wearing a plain white tee. A very tight plain white tee. Jess and Frank have apparently disappeared, thank goodness. So now we can get on with it.

I ask Remus to leave as soon as they both reach me. He doesn’t argue and leaves. James looks into my eyes for the first time since, what feels like, forever. And I secretly feel at home, though I don’t show it. I swallow hard and being to speak. Why do I feel like I’m breaking down? I need to spit this out.

“Listen-” My voice cracks and I can’t even look at him. James looks so… innocent. I almost expect him to hug me, which makes me mentally scold myself. Out of the corner of my eye, though, I see someone walking down the hallway.

God, damn it. Can I not get a break today!?

But when I look to see who it is I wish that I hadn’t looked at all. It’s Amos Diggory, walking back to me, with a wad of cash in his hands. I guess he was serious when he said he’d be right back…

He can see us and I can see him, even if he’s a gazillion yards away from us. James follows my stare weakly. He looks back at me, and I can almost see disappointment in his face. James hasn’t even spoken yet.

But then I stop myself, because some asshole is making his way over us and all I can think about is Amos and his false accusations. That I still like him. That he thinks he can buy me over it.

You know what; Diggory can go screw himself because I’ll prove to him that I don’t like him. That I don’t need him. And that he can’t buy me or his reputation.

Everything is in slow motion; I can almost here my heart beat and nothing else. I try not to breathe too loudly and get close to James. He’s paralyzed and doesn’t know what’s going on. But he’s looking me in the eyes, and I see his pain.

This is selfish of me, I know. But Amos is going to ruin my plan and throw it down the shitter, so I can do the same to his.

I blink, I stare at James’s lips, I take a step closer.
And I kiss him fully on the mouth on my own accord. 


But what are we waiting for, what are we waiting for?
So give me something to believe, cause I am living just to breathe.
And I need something more to keep on breathing for;
So give me something to believe.

- The Bravery

Chapter 22: Here With Me
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Author's Note: BEFORE YOU READ!!

I'd like to say that this chapter is basically False Accusations, take two. All the POVs belong to Frank and James; the boys in my fic (the personal favorite boys in my fic ;D). Enjoy! Sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy. And sometimes the story wouldn't paste in the chapter text box correctly... oh, what the crap.

Anywho, gets ta readin'. NOW!

_Lunch Time In The Room Of Requirement_

I tell you, ugh.

It’s difficult, trying not to think about it; hell, I’ve isolated myself from the school in which I attend, just to avoid it. But I can’t. As I stare at these blue walls, I see nothing but her face.

Ugh. I’ve turned into such a knob. 

I never understood where she ran off to after we kissed, when Remus opened that door. I didn’t understand what went on the whole time even before that, but it was the most thrilling experience of my life so far. I had kissed her, like in a freaking Hispanic soap opera, in Moony’s gran’s basement. I felt like I was James Bond.

My mind was fuzzy through all the making out (I was there, obviously, enjoying every minute of it). It was like my mind was speeding through a freight train. There had to have been something that caused Lily and me to do what we did. Not that I’m objecting. It was odd, though; she smelled so enticing when she put on that perfume. I have yet to hear from Moony about that. He stopped in after the first class of the day and told me he’d come back around lunch time after he did some research.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d have liked Lily Evans more than I already did.

But for Lily to run away like that… was it shame? Shame that she lost control with someone in the Room of Requirement? Or shame that she actually kissed James Potter? I wonder if she found it revolting. Was she nervous, scared, violated of her senses? Was I that horrible of a kisser to her, honestly!? It’s not like people have complained before…

I though it was great, bloody fantastic, memorable. It had meaning, you know? Or at least I thought it did. This was exactly my problem. How many Hogwarts guys have mentioned meaningful random snogs to their mates?


So of course I didn’t completely blab to Moony about how I felt about it and what had happened during it all. If I told my mates that this kiss was everything, they’d have a field day. Well, Wormtail and Moony would be nice about it, try to be understanding and try not to pester me. But that would just make things worse. And Padfoot would laugh in my face, regardless.

This was my dilemma. I mean, what was a guy to do? Go around, trying to describe the most indescribable kiss of his life? The boys’ in my dorm would probably ask me where I hid my tampons all these years.

I’m James Potter, damn it! And if I have to keep the sappy thoughts to myself to maintain my masculinity and my reputation with my mates, so be it.

I will not be subject to ridicule – which is why I am preventing myself from turning into a morning talk show host on women’s cable. How, you ask? By hiding in here all day.

Fuck classes. I have my teenage years to worry about.

I thought up my bedroom after Lily left me like that. It would have felt weird to walk back to my dorm and fall asleep in my bed like nothing happened. I’ve basically been skipping school today in my bedroom. I’m too afraid to see her face, if I run into her. I’m too afraid of what will slip out of my mouth about her, while I’m with my friends.

The only person that knows about how shit faced I actually am is Longbottom.

I realized a long time ago how truly in love I was with Lily Evans. For a while, it scared the shit out of me. And that scary-ness hasn’t really left, but my body has slowly adjusted to it. I also realized a long time ago that there was nothing I could do about it.

You could call it unrequited love- but let’s cut the bullshit with a knife.

First blade to my heart: there’s nothing I can do to magically make Lily fall in love with me. All these years, I tried to get her in every way possible…and nothing worked.

Second blade to my heart: I think I probably had loved her for all these years, but never noticed until this year; the morning after the party.

Third blade to my heart: I finally kissed her… after years of wondering what it would be like… It was the best snog ever. Dare I say it, it changed me. Almost as if it’s pushed me and made affirmative of my love for the quirky redhead. And of course, that just sets me off in depression mode yet again.

Fourth blade to my heart: I don’t know If I can handle, or have enough strength, to come out of the Room of Requirement any time soon; Professor Dumbledore might send McGonagall down here and beat me with a stick and make sure I taste the splinters off of it. I can’t leave my safe haven. I’m afraid I’ll fall to pieces if I leave my ‘bedroom’. It was the one place I always used to go to when I wanted time to myself when I wasn’t at Hogwarts.

Fifth blade to my heart: I have to deal with the fact that the woman of my dreams kissed my mortal enemy, Amos Diggory.


Not only that, but the A-hole himself tried to start something with me the other day. Double ugh.

I wish Diggory could fall down the stairs and stumble though the doors, out to the Forbidden Forest and get trampled by blasted wombats with an army of centaurs and fall to a pit of crap on the Quidditch Pitch, and out of no where… a hippogriff could come flying and take a shit, and have the humungous dung land right on him.

Yes. Yes, I do.

Diggory had the nerve to challenge me to some sort of dating shindig for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. He talked about Lily as if she was a prize. He wanted to make a bet of some sort… but I just walked away from him so I didn’t hear everything else he had to say.

But either way, WTF. I was so close to going Rocky Balboa on his arse. I punched him and beat him once, I can do it again. Diggory had the balls to come up to me, to try and start a bet to gain his reputation back with his friend. And all of this had to revolve around Hogsmeade.

Little did he know, I wasn’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade- but I kept my mouth shut.

A couple weeks ago, I’m not sure when exactly, but Diggory and Lily had a fall out; Remus told me about it in the Great Hall. He blamed Lily for his prick/playboy tendencies, in the middle of the corridor. First, I’d just like to say that even though Lily didn’t trust me enough to listen to me and NOT go out with Diggory, the biggest git on planet Earth, it didn’t make her responsible for what happened. Diggory took advantage of girls all the time, but the girls always let him have his way; he was popular and his ego was through the roof. When Lily didn’t know what was going on, he was angry that he had finally gotten rejected. He was stupid enough to think that Lily was like those other girls. Get’s me barking mad whenever I think about it. Second, It was my fault for taking it so far. I unleashed a demon within me on Diggory that I didn’t even know I had, in that common room that night. It scared me. And it sure as hell shook everyone else at the party.

I had to back away from Lily after that, those days…weeks…that passed after the party. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was going through a plethora of feelings, and I couldn’t explain even to myself how I charged at Amos Diggory like that, besides the obvious. It’s like I had punched the lights out of him and every punch he got came from every emotion I couldn’t show about Lily. I just lost it.

And that’s when I started to self pity myself enough to crawl to Frank Longbottom.

There were times when I was acting normal again… but then I had a relapse. It was like I was going back and forth from how fast I wanted to move on, and how long I could deny the truth. Remus could see it, I could tell. He didn’t say anything about it, but poor Moony did nothing but ask questions because he didn’t know how to make everything right again. And that’s how he is – hand him a puzzle and he’ll do whatever he can to find the pieces in time.


…In time.

I’m not sure when I truly realized that I loved Lily, but when it came to the point where I felt disgusting and my heart was in pain whenever somebody spoke her name, I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore. And that was the day after the party. That morning, I couldn’t look at my face in the mirror anymore. The only good thing that came from that morning was the news Padfoot told me about.

He had kept his promise to me, and took care of Lily.

And then Sirius said she had ‘inhaled’ my linens, and I was so intent on taking another nap in my bed, having the scent of her on my pillow, that I was late for breakfast. I couldn’t help it. That was as close to her I thought I’d ever be.

Well, I guess we can cross that one off now that I’ve snogged her.

I can even remember how good I slept just next to her on that polyester couch, that night in the common room. It was where we fell asleep. I was snuggling with her on the sofa.

It was great!

Even though I didn’t wake up to see her face because Sirius had taken her up, I knew even without having to see her, that something had changed between us. Or at least how I saw her.

And I saw her through the eyes of someone who was in love.

And it fucking sucks, lemme tell you. I’ve never really gone through this before, so I don’t know how to get to the finish line and be done with it. I’m used to accepting things and moving on. I’m the King of Moving On. Go ahead, ask anyone I’ve dated.

But with Lily, it is so different. It’s not just something I can shake off. In fact, it hurts just thinking about TRYING to shake it off.

Oh, Merlin. I’ve turning into a puddle of man-feelings.

That’s just bloody fantastic.

I’m a ‘coming to terms’ kinda guy. I’m understanding, I accept things as they are, and I’m comforting. I don’t know how it all became so wrong, because if I can comfort others, I can most certainly comfort myself. But the reality is… I’m finding it hard to comfort myself at the moment; I don’t know how to fix it. Well, fix my…Problem? If you would call it that.

I want so much to do the teenage girl thing and eat my feelings. How about some biscuits? Biscuits with jelly and some hot chamomile and chocolate dipped ringos, the way mama used to make them?

Oh, what the hell. I might just be on my period. Honestly, chamomile? What’s gotten into me?

Grabbing my WQ magazine off my nightstand, I go over to my small couch and take a seat. I start to read from where I left off, right when Remus had barged in on me this morning. When he was talking to me about his supposed theories, and interrogating me about what we messed with in the basement, it got me thinking. And that’s why I had been staring at my wall like an idiot until now.

I conjure up my food and take off my school robes so I’m just in a white tee and slacks. I kick off my shoes and stretch out my toes, while admiring my alligator socks. I do love my alligator socks. If I move my big toe from side to side, the alligator’s head moves back and forth. It’s hypnotic.

I remember doing the same thing, admiring my socks while reading WQ, when Remus came in some time after first period- and he freaked. I was putting on my beloved socks and I wanted to through a brick at his head. But since it’s lunch time now, he’s most likely going to check up on me. That’s just the way he rolls.

Knock, knock.

Ah, he’s here already.
I get up and unlock the door.

_Lunch Time In The Great Hall_ 

She’s a down right wanker, Finelly is.

First she insults my Potions partner and then she threatens to use me as a punching bag the next time I tell her to shut up. She was the one who kept complaining! I told her to shut her gob, so what? Miss Jessica Finelly needs to realize that she’s a pestering annoyance and is as much of an arse to me as I am to her.

She’s sitting a few meters from me, and it’s driving me nuts. I want to go over there and pull those brown locks out of her hair. But that would be strange, even for me, to go up to her in front of everyone. Actually, I wouldn’t mind it – but people think they know me, even though they don’t, and it might shock them to some extend if I did that, and I don’t need any rumors flying around.

Tis true – I, Frank Longbottom, have no label.

I was always the different one. It started since I was a young child, really. All the children in the play ground wanted to play in the sand box and go down the slides. And there I was, on the swing, trying to help the kids with their problems. A lot of them would get in trouble because they’re moms and dads would yell at them for eating the paste or breaking the crayons, and they needed somebody to talk to. I gave them my foolproof list of tips to avoid ever getting in trouble. Of course, I was a greedy bastard so I charged a lollipop a visit.

I’m different, so be it. I think differently, see things from other perspectives, and through all of my mess of a life, there’s still some loyalty and bravery left over to still keep me in Gryffindor. My dad was strict about me coming here, to Hogwarts. He’s such a nag.

All he’d do was tell me how to behave; in other words, he couldn’t understand me, so I was to act like all the other ‘normal’ kids. Boy, would he be disappointed when I’d come back for summer vacation still the same ol’ Frank Longbottom. There are times where I can’t blame him, sure. I mean, he doesn’t get his son. I once recited a poem from William Wordsworth as reply to a question.

He asked me what I wanted for dinner.

That being said, I’m a freako. And I embrace it. I don’t want to be like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with not being understood. It’s the ‘being misunderstood’ part that I need to worry about.

See, everyone has their own depiction of me. Some think I’m an ungrateful slob who doesn’t know how to tuck his knickers in his pants (as if I care about how neat I dress), and some think I’m their type of therapist. I’d rather not be referred to as a shrink, thanks. I don’t help people with mental disabilities. I just help out those certain teens that just don’t know what to do and look for advice. Meeting up with clients, or ‘friends’ as I like to call them… gives me something to do. I’ve never thought twice about it, because it always came natural to me. I don’t judge and I don’t stereotype. There’s enough of that in the world already to go around, I don’t need to use it against anyone else.

I’m they’re go-to guy; there’s not problem that I can’t fix. This year, everything was fine. Dandy. Silky. Happy. Cotton-soft. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And then that fateful day… I decided to help out James Potter. That’s when everything flipped upside down. James Potter’s problem led me to a journey to meet people I didn’t think I’d ever get to know.

I’m not the type of guy to sulk, or show my feelings, but Lily was one of the best people I had ever gotten to known here. And I’ve gotten to know a lot of people… or at least, gotten to know a lot about the people. It was weird for me, the first time Lily called me a friend, or referred to us having any type of friendship. I thought of myself as a loner for years, and to be honest, it didn’t bother me. But when I met her, and her stupid little brunette friend, I finally found out what I was missing out on.

Speaking of Lily, she’s just gotten up hastily and is following someone I can’t see out of the Great Hall in a rush. If she doesn’t come back, I’ll have to get up and make sure she’s okay…

I was always afraid of having friends like Lily. I had thought up this regime in my head of how my life was to be panned out. And I told myself that all friends really do is just complicate things. And with the type of job I had, I didn’t want any ties. They bring down-sides to secrets and they break trust. I can’t trust anyone.

And I don’t think I will for a while. If I can even recover like a human being.

You could say that my bitch of a mother had done that, destroyed that little part of me, but I won’t give her that satisfaction.

I sit here today, at lunch, by myself and just think about how I got here.

How did I really? I put myself in a position where I finally spilled to someone about a client. I shouldn’t have told Lily that James was in love with her. But something in my heart told me I had to. And don’t give me that bullshit about me having a sensitive side.

So you can shut up about that, thanks.

That’s what I was afraid of, blabbing someone’s secret. One of the many reasons why I didn’t want any friendships in the first place. Although, I do think it’s worth it. If there’s a little part of me that can change the lives of two people… then I’ll have to submit to that part of myself and deal with the consequences. Sure, I helped people when they cheated on their boyfriends and didn’t know what to do, or if they had thought they caught some sort of lice from a nerdy student in Slytherin. But now was my chance to actually make a life-altering decision. I had to do it. For Lily and for James. I know that James won’t like it. In fact, he might never speak to me again. But if that makes the two somehow realize, in the future, that they’re meant for each other, so be it. I’ve had to endure a lot my six years here, and I’ve grown up into someone I can’t really be proud of. Part of me feels accomplished with being reliable to students, but another part of me, a part of me that reminds me of my father, is telling me that I need to grow up, and make friends of my own.

And I don’t want to.

I don’t want to rely on people like people rely on me. It doesn’t match up, to me. Friends are like equations, they balance each other out. Unlike the popular ‘frenemies’ in girl world- in that case, if a Slytherin takes the other Slytherin’s boyfriend, they cancel out. Lily’s made me try to stay committed to fully being there for a person. I would consider her the sister I’ve never had.

I know that I can’t open myself up too easily like Lily can, even though she won’t admit that. She and I share that quality. There’s so much going through our heads that no one knows about, but yet people think they’ve figured us out. I was there for her that night when I let her binge drink so she could let her feelings out. Be one with herself. Sometimes you just have to get shit-faced to find out what kind of person you really are and what you think of your life.

You can quote me on that.

I sometimes think that I never made friends on purpose, because I was incompetent. Could it be true? Could me being incompetent be the reason why I have trust issues and can’t have mates? I used to think I could be there for other people, but maybe that was just my way from staying away from people. It’s true that I don’t like ties on people. My mother showed me you can’t even trust your own blood, so how was I to trust anyone? I believe that what I’m doing somehow compiles to doing the right thing, and it all goes for the greater good – but I can’t help but think that I don’t like who I’ve become.

I finish off my piece of chicken and take a swig of pumpkin juice. Out of the corner of my eye I see Amos Diggory getting up from his seat and following the same direction Lily Evan’s has just walked out from. I do not like this.

I’m going to finish what little bit of food I have left, and then I’ll follow Diggory.

_Lunch Time In The Room Of Requirement_ 

Holy shit.
Lily and I wanted to make out with each other!
I mean, I knew I wanted to make out with her, but bloody!

That perfume… it made us realize that we wanted to- ?

“Yeah,” Moony says, standing up, “That’s about it. All you need to know about the perfume. The only thing you need to figure out is why Lily ran off like she did.”

“And you’re saying that if I leave the Room of Requirement right now, Lily will be waiting for me in a hallway to talk about a whole bunch of crap?”


I think for a second and come to an understanding.

“I’m not getting up,” I say simply, falling back on the couch again.

“Don’t be an arse!” He tells me.

Hah, as if I’m the one who locked two people in a basement.

“I’m not being an arse. I’m not ready to see her and deal with her bitching me out about our problems as a non-couple. I can’t deal with that.”

“She isn’t going to ‘bitch you out’,” he air quotes. Hey, that’s Lily’s thing! And he better toss out this attitude. I hate it when he goes into Father mode. It ticks me off. Maybe he needs reminding that I’m not his little boy who needs to be taken care of. I can take care of myself!

“From brother to brother, try to understand how I want so much to crawl under my bed with Mr. Blanky and eventually turn into a hobo more than I want to talk to Lily Evans at the moment.”

“From brother to brother, I gotta say – you’re acting like a dickwad.”

“That’s absurd,” I defend.

“You’re absurd.”

“Yo mama’s absurd.” Oh, burn!

The point is, you’re skipping school and lounging for some stupid reason.”

I conjure up a bottle of butterbeer and firewhiskey. Remus gives me a worried look as I hand him the butter beer.

“It’s not a stupid reason. I just can’t face Lily at the moment.”

“And when will this moment pass, Prongs? When you grow an Amish beard and you’re 30th birthday comes around? You have no intention of actually getting over this. I can’t leave you here for the next fourteen years. You’re a teenager, damn it. Live your life, James. I thought you’d man up by now. You seemed so set on going about the day this morning when I found you, but you’ve locked yourself away and ditched all your classes. You’re a prefect, you know!”

I use the bottom of my shirt and pop open the firewhiskey bottle. Prefect duties can suck it vacuum style, because I need some boos.

“What are you doing?” Remus asks, but he’s saying it in that smart arse way that means he knows what you’re doing but asks you anyway because he likes busting your chops.

“I am going to engage in drowning myself in firewhiskey, if you don’t mind.”

“Great. That’s fantastic. Perfect. Drown your sorrows away, why don’t you. You belong on Dr.Phil. You make me sick.”

“Remus, has your family been watching reality TV again?”

He shudders. “Just my grandmother.”

“She seems like a great gal, by the way,” I mention, trying to get things off topic.

“Don’t ignore me, Prongs. You’re turning into a drunk.”

“I am not! I haven’t even drunk anything yet.”

I tilt my head back and take a big gulp of the firewhiskey.

“Alright, NOW you can call me a drunk.”

“It’s not even past noon!” He takes the bottle away from me, and I try to lick his hand away.

“James. Stop that.”


“Stop trying to lick me!”

“I am the mighty Giant Squid of the Sea!” I pretend I have claws, and start to growl.

“That’s enough alcohol for you.”

Remus is too quick for me and accio’s the bottle. I take a nose dive to the ground in my attempt to grab it back.

“Argh,” I mumble from the ground.

“Sorry, what’s that?” Remus annoying asks.

“You’re a wanker, that’s what.”

“Takes one to know one,” he slyly replies.

Ew, Remus Lupin has attitude.

“Get up.”

“I don’t want to, Moony, just leave me alone. Let me die here and rot in the black abyss that is my life.”

“How about the fantastic opportunity to talk to Lily once and for all, that is your life?”

“How about I haven’t shaved and I feel like I’m growing shrubbery on my face, that is my life?”

Remus throws his hands in the air and gives a girlish scream. I laugh uncontrollably at his poof-ness while he yells at me.

“Get your arse up, Prongs! I locked you in here before; I dragged you in with enough strength – I can drag you out, too!” He counters.

Oh, frogs. I hate it when he thinks rationally. If I’m going to get up and make an epic failure of my life by talking to Lily, I might as well have some fun at Moony’s expense.

“Oh, fine. What ever you say… Oprah.

Remus looks insulted. “It’s Dr. Phil!

_Lunch Time In The Great Hall_ 

Lily hasn’t returned yet.
Remus isn’t at lunch.
And most important of all…Diggory’s no where to be seen.
I hastily get up and try not to get too nervous.

But of course my mind is going to make it much worse than it already is. I always do that. God only knows what the worst case scenario can be…

I make my way down the hallway but someone jumps out from a door.

“Hey, Frank?” I’m almost assaulted by a Seventh Year Ravenclaw.

“Amy, hey,” I say out of surprise. I step back a few feet. Amy has a groping problem.

“I think my symptoms are coming back again,” Amy starts. Then she begins to tell me a tale of how some Third Year in her common room went about the fireplace to add more wood and he bent over right in front of her and, “I just couldn’t help myself!”

I furrow my eyebrows and purse my lips, trying to get rid of the disgusting mental image.

“Er, I’m sorry, Amy, but I can’t talk right now…”

“What?! NO! I need you’re help! I think it’s spreading, and I might not be able to hold myself. It’s bad enough that I can’t stop grabbing guys in Ravenclaw all over the place… But I think my problem is affecting my professors!” She starts sobbing. “I slapped Professor Dumbledore’s arse!”

Christ, I can’t deal with this right now.

“I’m really sorry –”

“No, just go. I see you’re busy. I’ll just have to stay here. By myself. With my hands open wide…”

“That’s great, we can talk tomorrow,” I say quickly, going in the opposite direction. I wave her off and she mumbles to herself but I ignore her.

Amy is… a troubled teenage girl.

She always gets pissy like this, so I’ll let her get over the fact that I can’t talk right now. See, Amy gave me a piece of paper with her cycles of the month. Trust me, I did not want info about her menstrual cycle, but she insisted on giving it to me and told me to ignore her when she was PMSing. Today would be one of those days.

Ah, one of those days…
The meaning itself makes one think of flashbacks. Good days that you grow up with. Memorable moments that you want to relive over and over again.

What a pity.

Now that I think about it, I don’t have a ‘one of those days’ in my system. There’s never a day I really remember. Or want to remember. Why do I want to remember the people in my life that just pass me by? It’s funny, because I now want to have one of those days for myself. I’m not normal, sure. But I’m not going to pretend I’m someone I’m not. And I’ll be damned if the people I somehow care about in my life get pissed on by nimwads like Amos Diggory. I was right. He did follow Lily. Because I’m a couple feet away now, and I can see Diggory getting closer to Lily. From this distance…I know who I want to be.

I want to be Lily’s friend.

“Let me explain something to you, bitch-”

“Let me explain something to you, Diggory.”

“Frank!” Lily gasps and gives me a hug. It feels good to do something right. To help someone, and I mean really help them. Because this time I feel like I’m actually putting my all into it.

“Hey, Lily,” I greet.

“You might want to leave before something starts,” I snap.

“I’ll leave when I wanna leave,” says the blonde prick.

“You’ll leave when I say you will.” I let go of Lily in one fluid motion. “Because if you start something here and now, you might just realize how much you can’t take.”

“That would be the manly thing to do, wouldn’t it, Lily?” He sneers at Lily. I grab him by the collar, ready to punch the oblivion out of him.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me. Clean the dirty lies from your ears and open them wide because I won’t repeat myself. Do not talk to Lily, do not speak her name. Best not run into her like you did today, or you’ll be lacking in the manhood department more than you already are-”

“Why don’t you find yours before you talk about mine, Longbottom.”

How hilarious. This boy needs to be taught a lesson.

“Don’t be insecure, Diggory. You’ll find yours some day. Here’s a hint: Look between your legs. It’s like a penis, only smaller.”

Diggory and I bump shoulders; all the mean while in the background I can hear Lily’s whispers but I’m so zoned out on making Diggory leave Lily alone that I don’t even hear her. And I don’t think Diggory can hear her, either.

“You Gryffindor losers think you’re hot shit, don’t you? Let me tell you what, baby boy. You stay away from my business.”

“Lily is my business.”

“Oh, so Potter’s sharing now?”

You know what? I have a label for Diggory, since he’s such a tool. He said this just now, just so he could upset Lily. I snap his wand in a heartbeat and back him up against the wall.

“Frank. Let him go.”

Scum. Scum is what he is.


“Frank. He’s not worth it.”

Agreeing with Lily, I let go of him. I don’t want to make her upset. I just want to protect her. Protect her the way I could have protected my sister… If she had the choice to live. 

Amos Diggory turns to us and smugly says, “This isn’t over yet. I’ll be right back, you watch.” He walks close to Lily (closer than I would have wanted) and mumbles, “I know you still like me. And you can’t prove me wrong.” He stalks off without a word.

In a blur, I blab to Lily about forgetting about Diggory. I tell her whatever pops up in my mind first. In the distance, I can see Jessica Finelly walking towards us. I can’t focus, though, because I’m too busy talking nervous nonsense to Lily, trying to make sure she’s okay. I don’t think I’ve ever done that…defended someone’s honor. Hell, defended someone’s honor without a wand!

But even Lily seems to feel blurry. Her eyes… she’s thinking. I know this face. She’s talking to herself, trying to fix something. So I keep talking. In a couple seconds, she’ll come back to me.

“He’s an arse, Lily. And I’m sorry Diggory had to come here and assault you like he did. He has no right, the pompous jerk...”

“Can you- can you do something for me?” Lily asks me hesitantly.

“Are you alright?” I ask.

“I’m fine. Really. Thank you for…that. Diggory’s gone, but he was the least of my worries. I have some stuff to clear out and I need you to go distract Jessica.”

Woah, hold on! This is not what I was expecting her to think about. I thought she’d have other thoughts… say… about her other problems, about her emotions towards an individual, ABOUT JAMES. The marauder that’s a total wreck without her, damn it.

“What?” I look around for some sort of sign, telling me she isn’t asking me to do what I think she’s asking me to do. If she mentions Finelly-

“Go over there and persuade her to leave, or to not meet me at the moment. I have too much to handle right now and Jess will explode if she hears what’s just happened with Diggory. So please… just… postpone her for me. I can’t talk to her right now.”


“…Okay,” I respond. It can’t be that hard, right? What ever I can do to make Lily’s life a bit easier, I’ll do it. I turn to leave but not without giving her a smile and saying, “You owe me.”

She smiles back at me and pushes me forward. “Go.”

Walking down the hallway, my vision gets less and less blurry with the oncoming image of one Jessica Finelly, pain-in-the-arse-extraordinaire. The pain in the arse that I have to stall so she doesn’t bulldoze into Lily’s life at the moment. Postpone her, she says? I’ll turn her request into an understatement.

As soon as she walks up to me - SHE’S WEARING RED LIPSTICK.

“Finelly,” I kind of choke out. I give her a fake smile so she doesn’t get tipped off by my brain convulsions.

I love red.
Red lipstick… looks good on her.

“Longbottom,” Finelly says boringly. “Where’s Lily off to?” I respond with my arm blocking her exit. I know how she works; she isn’t going to move away from me.

“Don’t worry about her.”

Pfft. No… red lipstick looks good on brunettes. Yes, brunettes in general. Not just Jessica Finelly.


“I don’t think so.”

“Move your damn arm. Before I break it off.”

“Let’s have a chat like civilized adults, shall we? Come with me for a moment.”

And bring your red lips with you- NO! What the shit?!

“Don’t push it, Dungbottom. I’m busy. Chat up some other chick.”

Okay, now I’m pissed. “If I want to chat you up, I’ll chat you up. Understood?”

“Now isn’t the time. Don’t be an arse about it,” she tells me. Do I sense softness in her tone?

“It’s not a choice,” I retort.

I look her in the eyes for the first time in a while. And for some reason, I want to get her in an abandoned classroom.

Not for that, you hormonal teenager! To get her away from this setting… she has a short attention span. She can change her attitude in a second flat. I need to get her out of here so I can piss her off and argue with her.

And she’s wearing red lipstick.

I mentally smack myself.
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Maybe that was just a brain fart.

Without looking back, I take her wrists and pull her into a vacant room. The dust is thick and it takes Finelly a moment to realize what I’ve just done. I’m an expert when it comes to ‘acting in the moment’. She’s probably thinking how the hell I did that without as much as a mumble from her own (bodaciously red) lips.

I’m just magical like that.

“What the fuck was that, Longbottom?”

“You know what? I don’t like your attitude.”

“I don’t like your non-existent nose hairs.”

I start to laugh uncontrollably. I’ll give you this, Finelly, you’re quite the individual.

“Goes to show people can truly hate things that are non-existent. Like your personality. I hate it already,” I chuckle. Nothing like a wound to her pride to get a rise out of her…any moment now-

“Listen up, dirt bag. Take you’re stupid insults and shove it!”

Ah, wedding bells to my ears.

“Come up with something creative, Finelly. I’m getting bored.”

“Fine, Frank. You win.”

Sweet Murphy!

I look at her straight in the face.
Fuck. She didn’t just say that, did she?
This isn’t good. I feel like my throat’s reverberating.

“What?” I mumble disbelievingly.

“I said: You win. Go ahead. Insult all you want. I don’t really care because my boobs-”

“Did you just call me by my first name and said ‘I win’ together in a chain of sentances?” She looks tongue tied and I continue with quite an interesting point she’s forgotten about.

“…And what about your boobs?”

She isn’t answering. Finelly has a look on her face that says ‘oh, god, don’t look at me because I know that you know that I look helpless’.

NO. No…This can’t happen. I know what she’s about to do. I can’t believe this.

I know that Jess can’t stand me, and I also know that she doesn’t know why. This is the whole point why we fight; it keeps things interesting. Because this is something that we agree on…the arguments, its how we live. It’s what I wake up to do each day, because we both have an idea about each other that we’ve made up to hate. And we enjoy it so much, so silently. We need the false hate. If that’s not there…then we can’t fight. I am NOT becoming friends with Jessica Finelly! I have to stop this. I can’t let her try and be friends.

It’ll change everything between us.

“I think the reason we fight so much is because of me. I have to tell you, there’s a reason I mess with your head-”

“You are so predictable.” I swallow a lump in my throat. I know this isn’t good. I’m not certain I understand the female mind but I know that this will piss her off, make her hate me even. And this needs to happen.

She quickly turns her eyes to me. “Excuse me?”

“You know, I knew that you knew what was going on. But I thought, hell – she might be creative and do something else. But no, you’re here to surrender to me just like I predicted. I know that there’s no reason for you to dislike me. Other than the fact that I get under your skin. I also know why I get under your skin. And it’s because you can’t find something about me to dislike. And that annoys you.” I’ve analyzed her now. She must be falling to bits, mentally. I look at Finelly.

She looks like I’ve taken a big shit in front of her.

“What’s funny, though, I must say, is that we both share that annoyance. You didn’t pick up my hints that I argued with you for the same reasons. I was hoping you’d make this fun. But no. You gave up. And you started telling me something I already knew. You are so bloody predictable, Finelly…”

She hates this. I can tell. In fact, I expected it.
What I didn’t expect, though, was Finelly moving closer.
Why-why is she doing that?
Oh, Merlin. She’s just grabbed onto my tie.
I swallow hard, like I’m taking a dry pill.

Something tells me this is NOT going to be one of those days.

“You can’t predict shit, Longbottom,” Jessica says, and plants her ruby red lips on mine.

Well, FUCK.

_Outside The Great Hall_ 

In some sort of weird, fucked up alternate universe, I could understand what was going on with Lily Evans. Unfortunately, I’m enjoying this snog too much to analyze my possibilities in said alternate universe.

I’m trying very hard not to be a girl about it, but holy crap, my heart sped up a mile a second when she got near me. When she grabbed me and kissed me just now, I wanted so much to just steal her away from everyone . But I’m not sure if she’d agree to go anywhere with me, even if I did take her away…have her all to myself.

And here we are, again, making out. this is probably the happiest and saddest thing that’s happened to me all day.

Happiest because I get to see her, touch her, be near her. And get to her. Kiss those beautiful lips I have been fond of since we were kids. But, the saddest, because I know something sparked this. This kind of happiness is never going to truly happen between us. I’m not sure it can be. The saddest because… it isn’t real.

I pull away from Lily Evans and we look each other in the eyes.
And I stare at her amazing emerald eyes. They look like diamonds.

“I-I don’t know…” she trails off.

I love you.
But I’ll never tell.

“Shhh,” I mumble. I take her face into my hands. There is no Amos Diggory. There is no Hogwarts. There is nobody.

Just us.

Lily looks like she’s going to cry, and I purse my lips from trying to think about what she’s thinking about. Because we both know the answer. And it’ll take only one of us to say it out loud enough to make it real. I want nothing more than have her here with me. There’s no way I’m saying it.

“I can’t do this,” she cries, running out of the hallway towards the staircases.

I can’t move.

I tell myself to get a grip. To go after her. She’s worth it. She’s worth it, damn it. And I can’t lose her like this. I take a look around the hallway. Apparently Diggory left while we were together. Or was I just imagining him walking towards us?

I run. I run until I find her the common room and I throw the door open.
She wants to talk, doesn’t she? I at least owe her that. Let her say what she has to say, then I’ll leave her alone. I know that it probably hurts her, knowing that what she did right now was a mistake.

I barricade the door to the common room with an unspoken spell and I sit down in an arm chair. Lily isn’t facing me, but facing the back of the couch, her hands resting on either side of the sofa. She hears the knob click, but I know she feels my presence only a couple feet behind her.

“You don’t have your wand,” she says, just above a whisper. Her voice is coarse.

I would smile if this situation wasn’t so screwed up to the third degree. I’d love it when we were kids, and I’d give her scenarios, and we’d test each other on how observant we were.

“No, I don’t.”

“You can do magic without a wand.” It isn’t a question. She’s certain.


“Since when?”

“We both know we’re not here to talk about wandless magic.”

She turns around and I see the diamonds in her eyes again. And the reason she’s had emerald diamonds in her eyes was because she had tears in them. Tears that are now running down her face.

Lily brushes them off quickly, ashamed. “Fine. Let’s do this.”

I nod in agreement. “Let’s.”

Once and for all.

A.N. - The song "Here With Me" by Dido inspired this one. It just fit so right, because James has an internal struggle with himself. I just thought you'd all appreciate a sort of helping aid to help make the mood right ^_^ Please leave reviews!

I know this chapter kinda sucked -_-

But just give me your critique so far, and let me hear your ideas! I love reading your theories and foreshadowing :)

Chapter 23: Bras, Confessions, And French Women
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The room is quiet. Still.
As we both wait for the other to begin speaking.

I’d make a joke about how the birds chirping outside are having a better time than us, but the only thing I can think about is nothing. My mind is so blank I kind of don’t know how to think and how this is supposed to fall out. The ending won’t be good. It isn’t supposed to be good – I mean look at the statistics. Do I want to tell the truth?

James is sitting in a comfortable chair against the wall, while I’m sitting across from him on the back of the common room sofa. We’re looking at each other. He’s rubbing his chin and I’m crossing my arms.

“I’m not speaking first.”

I hesitantly raise my eyebrows. “You already did.”

His eyes are smiling for a moment, and he gives me a significant nod. “True.”

Another minute passes in silence.

“Okay,” he croaks. “Let me just say this: for the record, I’m sorry I acted like an arse this year. Everything was set off by the party, and after that, I got kind of weird…”

“You think?”

“Yes. And I’m sorry for that. I left you in the dark. It was one party, one night, that kinda meant something to me.”

I look at him completely dumbfounded. He really said that just now, didn’t he?

“I shouldn’t have taken it so far with Diggory, but at the same time I felt I had the right to. What I do take full responsibility for, is making you feel uncomfortable for all these months. I just didn’t know how to deal.”


He scratches the back of his head. I know that was hard for him to say.

“That night at the party, something happened for me, too,” I begin.

Everything changed, James.
All of it. All of it was turned upside down.

“It made me think about people and about friends…old friends…”

I love you– I loved you.
I loved you when we were kids. Yes.
You were my best friend.

“How did we end up like this?” He asks.

I crinkle my eyebrows, no response in my head. “I don’t know.”

“This whole situation is fucked up,” James concludes.

“Very,” I agree.

“I can’t decide whether to be completely honest, or just enough to tie loose ends. But if I’m not completely honest, I’ll feel like I’m cheating my way out. And at the same time I feel that if I told the honest truth, it would complicate things even more. Then things would definitely change.”

“It doesn’t have to-”

“It will,” he says strongly. “Trust me.”

My face tightens at his words. Trust me. He is saying it loosely, I know, but behind the face of those words is a door. And I can’t help but walk through it.

“How can I trust you when I keep handing it to you, only to have it thrown back in my face?”

Surprised by my snap, he leans back away from me.

“You haven’t trusted me in years. Why start now?”


“You heard me.”

“This isn’t making any sense,” I burst, shaking my head repeatedly. “Don’t give me a talk about trusting you and then tell me not to. Merlin, all you do is play with my head!”

“Hah! All I did was say to trust me about this. Don’t go off about how bad I am and how all this is my fault. I said my part.”

My mouth falls open. “I didn’t say it was your fault.”

He scoffs. “Like you’ve never thought up the reasons why everything happened? Like you never blamed me? Admit it. Blaming me is easier than dealing with all these changes.”

“Why are you all of a sudden just snapping at me?!” I annoyingly ask him. Anger takes me for a ride as I claw the couch cushions.

He looks off, and I’m left with staring at his profile.
I hate that I can see the contours of his face.
The way his nose leads down to his lips, down to his chin, and his strong neck.
I hate that I can’t look away.

“Why do you keep secrets, obvious ones, because you can’t tell me the truth?”

Frank told me you loved me, James.
It can’t be true.
Show me that.

“Why can’t you face me, ever, when you freak out? I remember when I used to be the one you went to when you had a problem.”

“We were kids,” he quickly adds.

He still hasn’t looked at me.

“I need you to tell me something.” My voice is shaky, and I know he notices this. But he still doesn’t move. Doesn’t even flinch from his position. I ignore the annoyance he is causing me.

“I need to know something about you that I found out about not too long ago.”

His jaw clenches.

“What is this regarding?” James Potter’s voice echoes off the common room walls. It sounds darker, deep…more intense.

“You and me.”

He sighs, completely annoyed and agitated, but he still doesn’t move his face. I furrow my eyebrows.

What the hell? Could he be any more stoic?

“I’ve been talking to a friend.”

What ever you don’t have, James has. What ever he doesn’t have, you seem to be the reason it’s been taken away from him. I dunno if either of you have thought about it, but you both are very interesting people. And you two are more alike than either of you could imagine.

Frank Longbottom’s words echo in my head. He called me uncanny and indecisive. He also said that James and I were compatible because we were so different. I have to do this. I have to tell James what Frank said.

“Frank, actually,” I clarify out loud.

I have never seen James so rigid in all my life. His shallow breaths are being exhaled through his nose and I feel like he’s having a heart attack in front of me. Oh, jeez. I don’t think I should have said that… No, I have to say this. I need to know. It’s about time I grew a backbone.

“He doesn’t have friends,” James tells me. His voice is so harsh and low, it’s as if I can see the walls building up around him; he’s blocking me out.

“Yes, he does. He has me.”

And you have me, too.
Just look at me.

“He told me something very interesting, and I need to know if it’s true-”

“I can’t believe this.”

My breath hitches in my throat, and I look down. “What?” I whimper.

“You actually think we are going to talk about this here. Now.” He still hasn’t looked at me, and I have no idea how he must be feeling.

“Yes,” I answer honestly.

“You’re absolutely mad. You know nothing, that’s for sure.”

I cross my arms as he continues.

“What ever Frank said, or might have mentioned…don’t trust him. They’re all lies,” he almost roars. I ignore the ringing in my ears, and the silence his ear-splitting voice just broke, as he continues.

As if I haven’t already trusted Frank enough. I’d much rather trust him than you, you ass.

“Look at me, James.” The fact that he can’t look at me while talking to me is pissing me the fuck off, you have no freaking idea. I could just go up to him and rip his chin off, make him look in my direction. I’m doing one of the most hardest things ever, and he has the balls to look away from me the entire time. I momentarily forget what we are talking about: Frank, love, hate, us.

I get up, with strength I didn’t know I had, and walk up to him.

James’s body does an awkward movement between standing up and pushing the chair back at the same time. Now, he’s looking down at the ground, knowing he can’t get up and walk away without seeing me. Or even escaping me all together. I’m too close now and he has to deal.

I take his face in my hands and jerk his head so he’s looking at me. He looks so different. The hard shield he put on just seconds ago vanishes as soon as I stare into his hazel eyes.

“Why do you do that? Look at me when I talk to you!” I snap at him.

“I can’t!” James pushes me off and covers his face with his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. I calm myself and slowly get closer. I kneel down in front of him, put my hands on top of his, and slide his hands away from his face.

“Why can’t you look at me? Do I bother you that much?” I mumble.

James looks at me, and his eyes look so sad. Just like a puppy, only cuter. Woah, did I just think that?

Oh, dear.

“You think that your face bothers me?” he laughs blackly. “You have no idea how hard it is to look at you and not be able to…”

Oh, dear.

“Be able to do what?” I push. My eyes are pleading. Am I crossing the line? Should I be pushing him to tell me something that may be private? That may change everything?

He laces his fingers through mine and moves close to my face. He gazes at me, and he doesn’t mumble a thing; he’s just looking at my face. For some reason I feel like I wanna cry. I close my eyes and try to hold back tears. I wish I wasn’t such a cry-baby. A wimp. A loser.

He leans in and he puts his cheek on mine and it stays there for a while. I manage to forget about crying, but I keep my eyes closed anyway. I’m afraid to open them. He moves and puts his nose to my nose, and then rests his forehead on mine.

Oh, dear.

James moves his lips… and kisses me.

I can’t think of anything. Nothing at all.
This kiss…we had kissed already moments ago, but why was this one so different? I had used him to piss off Amos Diggory, yes. But it was still a kiss, a meaningful one at that. We didn’t plan to feel what we did in that hallway when we parted. I need to understand why this is different.


My heart is beating in my chest. He pulls away all too quickly and whispers with his eyes closed, “I wanted this one to be real.”

I gasp and open my eyes. He slowly opens his too.
I try to steady my breathing, letting his words sink in.

He knows. James knows that I had kissed him to make Diggory jealous.

We hear footsteps, and before we know it, half of Gryffindor comes pouring in, Sirius and Peter right in the front of the stampede. James gets up fast and his reaction causes me to stumble backwards on my bottom, but I don’t notice, because I’m still trying to control my breathing. He runs towards the stairs.

“Prongs?” Sirius calls. “Wait up!”

“Hey!” Peter tries to get James’s attention as well, but he’s already up the stairs. They notice me but don’t linger long.

The common room is no longer quiet.
The silence is shattered.
James kissed me, for real.

He kissed me now because he knew that before this, it wasn’t because of emotion or feelings, but because of someone else. This kiss, now, was because of the emotion and feelings we weren’t feeling before. So complicated, but yet – it makes sense. Two completely opposite kisses, same two people, two different reasons behind the actions. He wanted to show me it was there. In the room. It caused us to kiss.

I put my hand to my forehead. The ‘it’ between us.

Oh, God.

It’s there, isn’t it?
It exists.


I fell asleep for what felt like forever. But in reality, I had just blurred through the whole week. And the day I felt like waking up, and living outside of myself, was Hogsmeade day.

“Get up, get up, get up!” Jessica exclaims, bouncing on my four-poster.

“Ugh,” I groggily mumble, wrapping myself even tighter in my blanket.

“Come on! Get up!”

“Jessica, why are you so excited to go to school today? Bugger off.”

“I most certainly will not! I’m going to stay here and make sure you wake up extra early, so you can shower, get dressed, do your hair and make-up and look all pretty for the first day of Hogsmeade.”

Jessica Finelly, supposed best friend, lives for Hogsmeade, and always will, throughout all her Hogwartian life. She loves the village, the atmosphere, and most importantly – the shops. Jessica and I have always taken it upon ourselves to look our best, to have the best days of our lives… if that makes any amount of sense. We always wake up extra early, make sure we smell like peaches and mangos, and lotion ourselves up (exfoliate, even) because Hogsmeade weather is not for the faint of heart. And who wants to be around with someone who has clammy hands and dried up cuticles? No one. This is why Jessica had this day, like every first Hogsmeade day of each year, perfected down to an art.

“Muggle Studies, first period. Then Potions. Then-”

“Jess, you don’t have to tell me my entire schedule for today. I’m getting up, I’m getting up…”

_five minutes later_

“You’re not up,” she sing-songs, deciding to pounce on my bed. Her ass lands on my face.

“AHHHH! You broke my freaking nose with your ass bone!”

Breakfast was awkward. It was just as awkward as yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. I completely ignored James while I flanked the tables trying to find seats for Jessica, Emma, and me. Not only was it completely uncomfortable between James and me, but every time Frank Longbottom passed us, he completely looked the other way while Jessica just looked down at her plate. That had never happened before. And it had happened all week.

This wasn’t right.
Everything was fucked up and out of order.
Frank and Jessica were NOT acting like Frank and Jessica.
James and I were…well, what the hell were we?
Emma and Sirius even stopped talking because Sirius was so busy taking care of James.
The rest of the marauders were lying low and didn’t pull any pranks.
Nor did they even receive detentions at all throughout this week.

I’ve entered the twilight zone.
It’s like the entire school has gone nuts.
Everyone just goes quiet when any of us walk into a room.
What am I supposed to do with this?
I feel like this screwed up aura of some sort is so contagious.
It’s like everyone around me is latching onto it too.
Was everyone always this silent? The Great Hall…it was never emotionless.

Every time I just to think of a reason for why this is happening, I lose my train of thought almost immediately. It’s not that I’m afraid of going up to James Potter and finishing where we left off (with the talking, mind you, not the kissing part). It isn’t fear of what he’s going to say to me at all. It’s shame. I’ve ruined what was supposed to be ruined. I screwed up Frank and James; James won’t even speak to him. The day after the snog fiasco in the common room, I saw Frank with a black eye. And I know it wasn’t from Amos Diggory. I messed up my own friendship with Frank; he’s staying clear of me because he knows that I spilled James’s secret that he had told me in confidence. Merlin, everything’s a mess. And somehow, I feel like the relationships of my friends between other people are screwed up because of me as well. I feel like I’ve caused everyone’s discomfort.

I told myself I had to do it, tell James what Frank told me. But now, I can’t decide if I wanted to know just for my own personal gain or if it was something that I genuinely thought would fix this and make it better. Welcome to my life – double sided and treacherous, with a pinch of uncanny and indecisive. Want to know my snogging résumé? Hah, the only boys I’ve ever snogged are James Potter and Amos Diggory. Like I’ve said before, can’t you just smell the controversy from that sentence?

I walk into Muggle Studies with a ringing in my ear that has been following me since morning.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: I cannot believe this!
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Knitting I can deal with, but dancing? And then psychology after that?!
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I mean if I knew that THIS was what Professor Franklin had planned for us, I would have second thought my decision on signing up for muggle studies! This is our last week with the PCs.
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Oh, please. This is hardly the time to be dramatic. It’s just knitting, dancing, and psychology. These three things are…er…well they have to do with muggle life somehow, and this is what we signed up for! So suck it up and deal, you gits.
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Why are you so chipper all of a sudden? You’re always the one to add on to the arguing.
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Excuse me, it’s Hogsmeade Day. I live for that little village, and I’m in a happy mood. Gosh, would it kill you to be in a happy mood too? Fake it, at least. All this complaint about Muggle Studies is just buzz kill.
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: She’s right, guys. Come on now. It’s isn’t that big of a deal. So what? Our next lesson won’t have computers… we can live with that. And be happy today is Hogsmeade Day, okay? For Jessica’s sake.
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: OH, YEAH. I’m so excited to replace my computer with knitting needles; I can hardly contain my excitement.
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: The dancing should be…interesting.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Is that all you’re worried about?! PRONGS. We’ll be holding knitting utensils in our hands, and you think the dancing will be ‘interesting’? How about the ‘psychological studies’ lesson? Oh, I can’t wait for that. (Sarcasm)
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Yes, thank you. Because without the parenthesis I would have hardly understood what you meant. (Sarcasm)
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Merlin’s beard, what are we even going to talk about? How the brain works and what makes us happy?
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: And sad.
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: And angry.
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: And excited.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: And then Professor Franklin will probably analyze us down to bits.
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: And scribble on a notepad about how we’re feeling.
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: ‘Why do you think this happened to you, Padfoot?’ *scribbles on parchment*
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: ‘And how does that make you feel?’ *peers over library glasses*
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: ‘Ah, yes. I understand completely, Sirius Black.’ *looks at student with sympathy*
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I love how I’m the example patient in all of this.
FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: (Sniggers) Basically, yeah. That’s how it’s going to go, guys. Get ready for it.
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Again (Sniggers), thanks for the parenthesis.

I honestly can’t be the only one annoyed by such stupidity, right?

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: No need to be hostile, Red ;]
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Kiss my ass.
IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Likewise, Black. Count me in on that, Lily.
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Ass? Ew. What are you? American?!
EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: -_-
SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Sweet Circe, Evans. It’s spelled A-R-S-E!
JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Um…
loveMEsomeCHEESE19: As I was saying.


After one of the most paranormal schooldays of my life, Jessica and I go off to Hogsmeade. Ah, time for me to relax. I’ve been itching to relax all day, and now that I don’t have to worry about people destroying my afternoon, or me destroying their trust issues with other people, I can. Why?

Because 1) James and Sirius are off with Quidditch so we won’t see them through the village, 2) Amos Diggory is in detention tonight for something that apparently happened during Charms yesterday, and 3) the rest of the marauders are off at one of those joke shops in the north, while Jessica and I are shopping in the Southern quartiles.

And that just leaves us to Frank Longbottom, whose unaccountable at the moment because no one knows where he is. I saw him disappear at the pub a few minutes ago when Jessica and I had just stepped outside, clad in our wool beanies and cute autumn boots. It’s not winter yet, but it sure feels like it.

“You seem really mushy,” Jess comments.

“Yeah, just a bit.”

“Things will blow over, Lily,” she promises. She gives me a small smile. “Things just always end up unraveling themselves, you know? Don’t worry, this is what all three of us needed; Hogsmeade. A time just for us girls, don’t you agree?”

“Sure, I guess you’re right. Where did Emma say she was meeting us?”

“Oh, she said something about buying some new undergarments somewhere…” Jessica looks off into the distance and soon points out a store. “Over there!”

Moby Arpel’s?” I ask disbelievingly. I’ve already got one too many memories involving underwear, I don’t need to go into Moby Arpel’s – they’re all about bras and panties and matching corsets, for crying out loud. What the hell does Emma think she’s doing to me? Is it everyone’s agenda to find me at a seizure-ific state when ever they see me? Because I’m going to pass out soon.

“Lily,” Jessica says strongly. “Don’t give me that look.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Yes, you do! It’s ONE store. Not the end of the world.” Jessica drags me down the hill and into the store filled with intimate apparel, lingerie, and too many frills for my liking.

We walk in to the death trap and I am immediately bombarded by a French lady who has taken it upon herself to measure my breasts.


“You need brassiere, yes?” She says in broken English, followed by another million incoherencies about ‘padding bra’ and ‘push up’, followed up, ‘…push up, WAY UP’.

I try to scram but the old lady’s got an iron hold. “No- no. Okay, that’s enough,” I swat away at her with my hands. “No poking please, I’m – OW!”

“Oops, ‘scuse me,” is all the French storekeeper responds with. Is that a needle she just poked me with?!

“Emma!” Jessica calls.

“Emma, I am going to kill you,” I say to her as soon as she walks over to us.

“Hi to you, too, Lily,” she scoffs, after showing us the new pajamas she’s just bought. “Someone’s in a more pissy mood than usual…”

“Well I’m not used to people coming up to me, mumbling French curses about how I should fix the padding in my bra, and repeatedly poking me. So excuse me for being a little hostile.”

My two beloved friends ignore me while I suffer the torture of the Frenchwoman with a hidden needle and thread. How you’re supposed to fix one’s bra with that utensil, I have no idea.

“I absolutely adore those pajamas!” Jessica coos.

“I know, I got them on sale! Fifty percent off, over here,” Emma guides Jess to the closest table marked ‘sale on pajamas’. Great, of course they would leave me here.

“Try on. This,” the French lady, whom I now know as ‘Marion’ thanks to her nametag, says. She tosses a black silk and laced size B bra my way. I look back at her, horrified.

“No, no. I’m not here to buy any forms of intimate apparel,” I tell her slowly. She simply looks up at me as if I hadn’t spoken at all. I sigh and try again. “Me. No. Want.” I put the bra back on the shelf.

Marion laughs and grabs the bra from the shelf again. “No, no. You want. You want!”

“Jessica!” I call over.

Emma goes off to pay for another set of pajamas she’s decided to buy, while Jess sees me struggling and excuses herself from Miss Tebbon. But not fast enough – Marion’s thrown me into a dressing room; I am now forced to change into the hell they call a black silk and laced bra.

“I hate this!”

“Don’t worry, she just wants to see how you look in it. Come on… make her happy,” Jess reasons.

I look at her skeptically before Marion slams the dressing room door in my face.

“Well if I’m forced to try on some stupid bra, then you’re going to have to confess some things to me, because I’m not going through all this pain for nothing. Especially if can’t get something out of it.”

“Oh, Lily Evans. Just try on the damn bra-”

“What’s going on between you and Frank?”

It’s silent for a while and I can almost hear her sighing from behind the door.

“He pisses me off.”

Ah, the usual.

“No. Spill the beans. You haven’t argued with him all week! It’s almost making me upset.”

“Alright, who said I was upset?” She asks me, as I fall over the chair in the dressing room while trying to hook the clasps of this bra correctly.

“Jess, if you aren’t arguing about Frank or arguing TO Frank, they you have to be upset about something! Did you two have an even bigger fall out than usual?”

“Not exactly…”

“Well what’s the problem then?”

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t stand him anymore, is all.”

Marion slams the door wide open, almost making me crap myself. She’s lucky the dressing rooms are in the back of the store!

“Are you crazy!?” I roar, trying to cover myself up. I’m in a bra and jeans; this French lady is completely nuts! I’ve just been violated of my privacy, and no one seems to find this alarming. How do I know this? Because the couple seconds it took good ol’ Marion here to blast the door off it’s hinges and start cupping my breasts while wearing this black bra, Jessica just kept continuing on about what she didn’t like about Frank. She’s just leaning against another dressing room’s door frame, only a meter away from Marion herself, and yet – she’s in a completely different world.


The French woman takes my boobs in her hands, and counts the beading on the cups. Yeah, this black piece of crap has embroidery. Story of my life. Marion starts mumbling something in French and frantically whips out the tape measure. Sweet Mother Of Pearl!

“…I mean, he’s always contradicting me. He even insulted my hair color, relating it to dung! Frank is just this mysterious…arse. Yeah, that’s it. A mysterious arsehole with an anti-brunette attitude, don’t you think?” Jessica asks me, crossing her arms. Mind you, the dressing room door is still wide open, but this particular cubicle is in the corner so no one can see us, thank God.

“Well, gee. It’s hard for me to really pay attention to what you’re saying when someone has my boobs cupped into their hands!” I hiss behind me. Marion snaps at me in her native tongue. And then she looks at my confused face and sighs.

“Non-talking. Shush!” she tells me in English (what ever kind of English she knows), with impatience.

The next hour resulted in Jessica doing nothing but talking about Frank, me getting poked in inappropriate places, and some Frenchwoman treating me like some sock puppet. I ended up buying four pairs of the same bra.

“Thanks, Marion!” Jessica calls, while Emma and I walk out of the shop.

“Yes,” I mumble, cradling my bag full of four laced up contraptions. “Thanks.”

Emma laces her arm through mine while we stroll through the shops of Hogsmeade.

“Lily. Smile, will you?” Emma exasperatedly sighs.

I grunt.

“Don’t even bother. She’s gone on her pissy/sulking mood for the day. She’s not going to budge unless…” Jessica trails off and then looks away.

She does this because I know what she was about to say.

Unless…I talked to James and fixed the screwed up situation with Frank.

I pull my wool hat father down across my forehead until my eyebrows are covered. No, you know what? No. I pull the entire hat down all the way to my chin.

Emma stifles a laugh.

“What are you doing?” She pulls the cap up.

I pull it back down.

“Don’t worry about it,” I reply.

“You are not going to go hiding from the world,” she pulls up my hat again.

“This isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to you,” Jessica clarifies.

“Doesn’t make it any better! How can you two be nonchalantly cool about this? I’ve screwed everything up, and I feel like you two are being affected by my very ill/terrible choices.”

“We’re friends, Lily. We aren’t going to leave you like this. Right, Jess?”

“Right. And besides, you’re not affecting us. The boys are acting like prats, anyway. You’re not making it hard for us or anything, if that’s how you feel.”

Oh, gosh. Why do I have such fantastic friends?

“But I am making it hard for you guys! WAH! Just let me wallow…” I pull my cap down until my entire face is covered.

Before Emma has a chance to yank it up again, I trip over a rock and fall flat on my face because I couldn’t see where I was going. I hear Jessica’s barking laughter as I struggle to get up.

“Er… that was delicate,” Emma comments.


Walking back down the dormitory for dinner, I could say that my mood lifted a bit, but I’d be lying. I wasn’t as sulky, but I was still a bit agitated about the tripping in Hogsmeade. I now have a bruise above my left eyebrow. Not pretty. I covered it up with my bangs, though. A bit of fringe will cover up my bruise. Jessica said she’d meet me down there. While I was getting changed I heard some girls talking about owls coming in for tonight. This meant mail. I will at least hear from my father, and see how he’s doing. He’s the only one that really cares about me and my self-destructive life.


Alright, that’s a lie. My dad knows nothing.
But the effect works, no?

I open the doors to the Great Hall and I’m basically flanked in the face by someone’s owl. The professors at the table were yelling for people to clear their owls away immediately as soon as they received their letters, because bird droppings were making their way onto people’s plates. As the flocks of birds clear out, I spot Jess alone at the end of the corner by herself. She’s eating crackers, moping at the end of the table. I’m about to go over and ask her what’s wrong when I notice it.

Oh, no.

Right next to her wrist lays a letter, and right next to that, is her fake cheetah skin purse on the table.

“Jessica! Why is your cheetah bag making another appearance?” I ask, alarmed.

“He broke up with me,” Jessica groggily mumbles. It doesn’t look like she’s crying…no…it seems as if she’s…disappointed that this had to happen now. Does that make sense?

“Are you sad?”

She shakes her head.

“So you’re glad?”

She shakes her head again.

“Well, that’s clears everything up,” I put my hands on the table.

Frank Longbottom passes by, and just like a teenage cliché high-school flick, he looks at us and the world is in slow motion. His eye is no longer black but it does look at bit dark above his cheek. He looks at me and then passes by Jess quickly. His eyes are inexplicable. It makes me want to blink twice; the intensity he’s staring at Jess with could break glass.

Jess starts to go through a coughing fit.

I start to pat her back. “Jess, are you…”

“FINE, fine…” She squeals.

Frank takes a seat a couple meters down from us. Then the marauders walk in.

Sweet Circe, this is just my day.

Instead of taking their time and picking out their seats carefully, they sit near Frank is sitting, because it’s the closest thing near them…and because they’re the only seats available now that the Great Hall is filled up. Tension = right now.

I’ve never been in such a tension filled room. Sirius, Peter, Remus, and James don’t even look at us. Emma said she was sitting her with Hufflepuff friend for dinner so there was no reason for Sirius to say hello to us, other than that. Remus and Peter do as their told, really, so they didn’t mumble a word. But James…there was something eerie about James. He’s like a completely different person; it’s like he went under a personality switch from the zombie that I had seen this morning in Muggle Studies and throughout this whole week. As Jess and I eat in silence I can’t help but stare at him. He looks so indifferent. Cocky, even. It’s like his aura has been replaced with someone’s arrogant facial expressions. He has no emotion around him and you can’t really read his face. Like I said, it’s like he has no aura at all. Not even a bit of ‘welcoming’ to his look; with his broad shoulders and unwelcoming posture, he almost looks antagonistic. And this scares me.

Half way through the meal Jessica starts to talk to me.

Obviously, still upset over Jeff’s break up, she puts her head in her hands. “I didn’t think this would really happen.”

“I know, me neither. I wasn’t even thinking of it. It’s so random… Why did he do it?”

“He said the distance was a bit hard on him, and that he had kind of lost interest in me. Not that he meant this in a mean way, but still.”

“Awe, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” I pat her shoulder affectionately and refill her goblet with cranberry juice.

“I just don’t get it, you know? It’s like Hogwarts is this one big puzzle, and Jeff breaking up with me is another revealing piece…”

I furrow my eyebrows. “Er, Jess? Um, what are you talking about?”

Her eyes snap open in realization. “Nothing!”

“What the hell is going through your head?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she dismisses quickly.


“Great, completely superb. Totally fantastic-”

“Jessica Finelly!”

“I don’t. Want. To talk. About it,” she whispers viciously. My face is completely blank as Jessica returns to her mashed potatoes and pretends she didn’t just coarsely whisper to me in a tone that could kill.

Huh... I am very lost.

I spot Frank looking at Jessica from where he’s sitting, and I swear, I can almost hear his eyes twinkling. There has to be something going on!

“He’s looking at you,” was all I told Jess. It was Jessica’s reaction that was quite interesting. “Why is Frank looking at me?” She immediately glares in his direction.

I smirk. “How did you know I was talking about Frank?” I cross my arms as my best friend drops her fork in defeat. I turn her head and make her look at Frank, and he, too, soon begins to have a coughing fit. I’ve totally pegged this awkwardness thing down pat, haven’t I?

But, it seems that I’m not the only one that’s caught on.

A few seats down from us, Sirius Black had noticed the awkward looks between Frank and Jessica. His face said it all; he knew something was up. It’s as if someone’s hit his head with a mallet…a mallet of realization. Because Sirius looks horrified and I can’t help but look horrified as well- because I know Sirius Black. And this can’t be good. I was surprised when I looked down the table and saw his face mirroring mine. I was then surprised when his neck had began to snap back and forth between the two. But what I wasn’t expecting at all- not in the least, not even in the SLIGHTEST, was what happened next.

Sirius remains in his seat but points to both Frank and Jess.

“YOU TWO ARE DOIN’ IT!” He roars.

And then Jessica charges at his head.

Author's Note: Fun fact? I wrote that scene with Lily and Marion at Hogsmeade years ago :) ahah. gotta love it... ;D I'd just like to apologize for the long wait for this chapter. Seriously... it's the end of April and the last time I updated was February :( I'm sorry!

I'm working on a whole bunch of new stories and I wrote one-shots, and when I did finish this chapter... the queue wasn't cleared because I had already submitted something.. IT WAS A MESS! But I'm thinking that I'll update again during the month of May :D Be proud of me!

Also, I've got a but load of one-shots coming! What can I say, they satisfy my inspirational cravings lol. Make sure to check out my other novellas on my page!

Leave me reviews? I love you.

Chapter 24: Bad Boy/Strange Boy
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A.N - MUAHAHAHAH. Oh...the things I have planned for this fic ;)

Please explain to me why my Hogwartian life is one of the most hectic lives to have to live through? I didn’t sign up for this. Yes, I know I complain a lot, but really – this much drama in one person’s life is just ridiculous. How did this even start? What, was it the party in the beginning of the year that triggered these unfortunate events? Or did it all start since that damn sleepover when I hung James Potter and his gang by their feet from his roof? When Sirius Black decided to yell out the inappropriate comment at lunch, everyone started to talk and gossip. There was uproar in the Great Hall. And for the first time this week, I didn’t feel like I was alienating anyone or ruining their lives because they were hanging out with me. It’s like everyone else is living, but I just seem to take things more literally and tear myself down too much. Is that even plausible? It lifted my spirits when Jess was the one being talked about, I gotta admit; although Jessica’s scandalous secret was blown a bit out of proportion. They were not ‘doing it’, as Sirius called it. I kind of feel bad for him right about now, because Jessica attacked him penguin ninja style.

How did I not know about this!?” I screech, while pacing back and forth.

Frank ran off, Sirius is in the hospital wing, and James, Peter, and Remus are comforting their friend with a broken nose. And me? I’m stuck in a boarded up closet with Emma Tebbon and Jessica Finelly. Jessica made out with Frank Longbottom….they snogged! THEY SNOGGED!

…Did you know that?

“I’m sorry! It’s just…you’re going through a lot right now. I didn’t want to add on to your stress,” says Jessica helplessly.

“Stress? What stress? You snogged Frank!”

“I know- I felt so bad about it…”

No, this is good! “What? Why?!”

“I feel bad about the whole thing, Lily! I cheated on Jeff.”

Emma and I exchange blank looks. “Jeff?” I guess. He’s the problem?

“Oh,” is all Emma says. Ah, right. Her ex-boyfriend. Jeff. Yeah, I know him.

“Wow, this couldn’t have come at a more opportune moment…” I scratch my head. Jess gives me a hard look as I think to myself.

“What Lily means to say, is that this whole break-up-through-a-letter thing from Jeff was probably what you needed.”

“Needed? How could I have possibly ‘needed’ my boyfriend to break up with me?” Jessica snaps.

“Come on, you didn’t cheat on Jeff,” I push. “I think that your relationship might have been over before you kissed Frank, and I’m not saying this to be mean. Jeff’s a good guy, but I’m not sure this muggle was your equal.”

“Well…crap,” Jessica states.

Crap is right. Since when did I go off having a backbone? Let alone the skill of logical observation?

“Er…sorry,” I blush.

“Where did that come from?” Emma asks, perplexed.

“I just asked myself that same question, Em.”

Jessica sighs. “So what you’re telling me, Lily, is that I didn’t cheat on my now ex-boyfriend with Frank?”

“No, you didn’t really cheat,” Emma puts in.

“I agree, you didn’t think about it when you did it, right?” I ask.


“Well, you didn’t kiss Frank on purpose to hurt Jeff, nor did you really snog him consciously. I don’t see a problem.”



“How can you be so cool about this?”

I bite the inside of my cheek in response.

“No, I didn’t mean to hurt Jeff-”

“Technically,” Emma cuts off, “You didn’t hurt him at all. He doesn’t know; but, Jeff is still the dumper in all this.”

“And I’m the dumpee,” Jessica sulks.

“Psh, I say you’re good to go,” I wave off.

Emma and Jessica look at me as if I stretched my lips over my face.

“Is it just me, or have we just been witnessing stages of Lily transforming for the past two days?” Emma mumbles to Jess.

“Definitely not just you, Em.”

“Excuse me,” I interrupt. “I’m right here.”

Where were we?

“Anyway – What I’m telling you, Jessica, is that you snogged him to get back at him. To prove a point, yeah? Well…you did.”

“Er, okay. But doesn’t that still count?”

“Depending on the situation, there are many different levels of infidelity. This is not one of them,” Emma concludes.

“Are you guys sure?”



“…But isn’t it kind of bad that I kissed him not realizing it?”

I flutter my eyes in thought. “Oh.”

Bugger. Now that I think about it, the fact that kissing Frank was so natural for her (subconsciously, I mean) definitely switches the table around.

“But that has nothing to do whatsoever with Jeff or your ex-relationship,” Emma emphasizes.

“Yeah, that has to do with your feelings for Frank.”

“Feelings? What feelings…?” Jessica asks impossibly. She takes a seat on an old crate as she reads the looks on our faces. If you’d like a mental picture, we look poser children for the saying of ‘Are you bloody serious?’ followed by the stink eye.

“You two want on each other!” I roar. I restrain myself from pulling out a pie chart to show their similarities.

“We do not!” She argues.

“So you’re saying that you have no feelings for him at all?

Jessica rolls her eyes. “Emma, I do not like Frank Longbottom, for the last time…”


“Yes, you do.”


“Yes,” I insist.

“Try again…”

“Argh!” I belt out.

“So you punched Sirius Black in the face because you don’t have feelings for Frank?” Emma raises her eyebrows disbelievingly.

“Obviously not. I tackled him because he just started a rumor about me, and pushed himself into my person life and threw everything out of proportion.”

“So it wasn’t because he let people know you two ‘did it’?”

“Emma! We didn’t ‘do it’. See? My point exactly. All he did was cause a whole rumor train, now everyone’s going to think I’m a slag!” She cries.

“You’re more worried about what the student body is going to think of you, rather than your own feelings for Frank?” I question.

“…What feelings?”

“You. Are. Impossible.” I cross my arms.


Reading in the library was always soothing for me. But lately, I’ve been finding it hard to take the time out to really relax. I feel like I need to fix everything. I have to make Jess realize she likes Frank and some how get them together. Second, I need to find out why James Potter is going through an identity crisis and has been acting like a prick to everyone (or so I’ve heard). But, before I start on the two named problems above – I have to take care of my own. With Frank.

Skimming the books in the Nonfiction section of the library, I pick out an autobiography about Wand making, anything that can distract me from my world, and take a seat. I make sure to pick a place to sit where I can easily dodge Madame Pince if she pops up with another one of her obsessive fangirl-ness over Nancy Drew. It’s sad, really. She should date more.

Falling deep inside the plushy seating of the chair in the corner comforts me immediately. Being so close to the window, I can’t help but gaze outside. It’s dark and looming with fog. It seems like it’s about to rain soon. The weather has really been exploiting my emotions lately, what the crap? Is the fog supposed to symbolize my struggles? If you call trying to grow some balls and charge up to Frank and apologize a struggle, more than a fear, then yes. It all fits in.

I wonder if Frank has talked to Jess since the dinner incident. Not that I’ve seen him. He had been completely absent during classes lately. I still can’t believe Jessica’s denial over snogging him. In any case, they’re crazy about each other – just too shy to let the other know. I must stab my best friend with the blunt sword we all call reality, fast. If only Frank could be a bit more social, I could find him. I could totally understand him being too embarrassed to walk out in public, but for him to be non-existent? That’s not like him. Frank is always around, always listening. He is all knowing, and not having him here is discomforting. My goodness, what if James hit him again?! Sweet muffin eating hippogriffs, I never thought of that! What if he is so badly beaten he can’t speak? It’s my entire fault! What if he had been in the hospital wing because of me? But no, James wouldn’t go that far. But at the same time, I was totally surprised to find Frank with a black eye. Even though no one told me who punched him, I knew it was James. I mean…who else could it have been?

Merlin, I’m the worst person in the world. Sure, I might not be infecting other people’s lives, but damn, I’m taking everyone down with me! The library was usually a place that Frank resided in, and in coming here to read a book and relax, I hoped he’d be here too.

Determined to find the boy, I put down my book (which was boring out the ass, by the way) and look around the library. Surprisingly, I actually spot him. Wow! Just my luck, eh? Haven’t talked to him in so long, and I need to set this right. I don’t want him to stay angry at me, if he is at all. He’s wearing reading glasses, turning the page of a thick book near the fireplace. He’s also sitting at a table. Hold on… he’s reading?

Yes, reading a book. And not just any old book.
But a chronicle…

A certain chronicle that’s now known to give me nightmares.

“You’re reading Nancy Drew?

It spews out of my mouth a lot more hostile and puzzling than I would have wanted.

Completely taken aback by my appearance, he coughs awkwardly. “Hi,” he looks away.

Oh, fudge. We’ve reduced ourselves to small talk. “Frank, can I talk to you, please?”

“Don’t pester me about Jessica, if that’s what you’re on about.”

My mouth drops. “I would never! How could you ever think I was here to pester gossip out of you?” I bite my lip. I know why he would think that; because he told me something and I spilled. I totally blew it.

“Look, I’d like to keep a low profile here, so just…talk to me later, okay?” He looks both ways, making sure no one can see us, and finds it upon himself to hide behind his book.

“I’m sorry I ruined everything.”

Heh?” He snorts quizzically.

“I messed everything up, and I’m sorry.”

“What are you talking about?”

“What the hell, Frank, what do you think I’m talking about? I’m sorry I gave you that black eye! I shouldn’t have said anything to James; I wish I could have taken it all back–”

It’s like a record is put on hold and the scratch echoes through our heads.

“WOAH, Woah, Woah…” He puts a hand up, cutting me off. “You told James?”

“Yes,” I say confused. “And I came here in the hopes of you forgiving me for spilling what you told me because-”

“Wait a damn minute!” He whispers coarsely. He puts his book down and pulls out a fedora. It takes me a while to get what’s just happened.

And when I do, the little man in my head goes: WTF. “A fedora?!” I say too loudly.

“It’s for disguise, Lily! Shut up!” He gets up from his seat and discreetly leads me down a section in the library that’s closed off from everyone else who’s working on homework. Who cares if the hat is for disguise? I want to know how he just pulled a fedora out from no where!

“What are you talking about, Frank? And why did you lead me down here?”

“We can’t talk out there, people are bound to here us,” Frank whispers. “Look, I don’t know what you’re on about, because I had no idea that you told James. Nor has he come up to me to yell at me as a result, or even come near me at all for that matter.”

“But, you’re black eye – it’s from James.”

Eyebrows together in thought and wonder, Frank responds with a long, “No…”


“Not at all.”

“If James didn’t, who did?”

“Amos Diggory.”

My eyes bug out of my head. “Bah!”

“Shut your mouth, they’ll hear us,” Frank demands, putting his hand over my mouth while I mumble curse words and a mixture of incoherencies.

“This can’t be right!”

“Well, that’s what happened…”

“Why would Amos hit you? And even if he did, then why has James been turning back to his old ways? Nothing explains anything anymore,” I almost cry out in frustration. I thought that James was back to being a sarcastic jerk, like how nonchalant his personality was during this summer before Hogwarts, because he was mad at the world and blah, blah, blah. And now Frank is telling me that Amos hit him in the eye?

“Amos hit me because we got in a fight. Needless to say, we tried to finish what we started during class… he punched me first, lucky bastard,” he says more to himself than to me.

“Hold up, is that what Amos got detention for?”


“So that’s why you two weren’t anywhere near Hogsmeade! You were in the hospital wing and Amos was in detention!”


“So that leaves us to you,” I state, pointing at him.

“Me?” Frank says skeptically. “What the hell do I have to do with this?”


“I don’t think so.”

“But you weren’t seen for like a million years!”

“Queen of Hyperbole, will you calm down?”

I huff in response while he continues. “I don’t know why you’d think James would hit me for you spilling his secret. To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did, but that wasn’t the case at all. James hasn’t come to me for a while, and now that I think about, that might just be his retaliation towards me.”

“You mean that my theory of him punching you for what I said was a bit too much?”

“Basically. If anything, he’s not talking to anyone anymore because he can’t deal with you now knowing. I haven’t talked to him, like I said, but when ever that time comes, no matter how bad it might be… it will happen eventually. I can’t say for sure how he’s changed so far, but when I do get to talk to him, I’ll be able to figure him out within seconds. But as for the whole disappearing thing- I have been here all this time. Just not around you.”

“And why the hell not?” I ask pissed/understanding/happy about the new information.

“Honestly, you don’t know?”

“…If James didn’t come up to you to beat you up…and you were ignoring me because you were mad I blabbed…then how did you find out-”

“I’m not mad you,” he says simply. “And I didn’t know you told him until now.”

“Gosh, this is a mess!” I put my hands through my hair.

“Take a deep breath, alright? I’m going to explain this in the best way I can. ‘Kay, so…You told James at the same time it took Amos and me to get into an argument. On Hogsmeade day, you didn’t see me, but knew that Amos was in detention. And since then, you thought that me disregarding you when you were around was because James came to me, punched me in the eye, yelling that you told him what he told me not to tell you.”

My eye twitches. “Meh,” I say in conclusion.

“Am I right?”

I nod. “But wait, why were you ignoring me then? If it wasn’t for James, then why have you been completely overlooking my existence?”

He looks down and blushes, which makes my heart beat out of my chest. Oh-My-God.

Little man inside my head, you are a genius!

I know why! And this time…I actually do know why; I’m not pretending to know something! Bah, I have basic logic skills!

Oh, happy day!


Why am I exclaiming so much! (?)

Pardon me- that was an exclaiming question.

“Because of Jessica,” I blab out in realization. With my mouth agape, I stand there like a fool while I rant. “You didn’t approach me at all because I was always with Jessica!”

His chin is set in a hard line. Frank must really be clamping his teeth down hard.

“You like Jessica, and you haven’t been approaching me because you two snogged!”

I hear him mumble.

“Yes, I’m right! Say it… Say it!” He isn’t looking at me and I try to make eye contact with him, but it just turns into the ice-capades because I’m basically doing exotic interpretive dance moves just trying to get him to turn his head around. I’m like one of those kids in school that always annoys you and gets in your face. Yeah, the one that eats the crayons and likes being loud…That one.

“I know who you are, Frank Longbottom,” I smirk. Never in his entire life, has he had someone say that to him. I know that for sure.

Frank’s eyes immediately pop out of his head at my words, and his face throws a flabbergasted fit. He’s completely alarmed, and flees from the library.

Damn it, must we always part this way?

Sighing in defeat, I head back to my common room for the night. Frank really needs to learn how to say goodbye to people. My life is just getting more and more awkward by the second. Now, back to my goals; Frank is now crossed off the list. James hasn’t approached him and as far as anyone knows, James is back to his old ways. But on the good side, everything is sorta kinda cleared up with Frankie Boy. The marauders are keeping their distance (I wouldn’t be surprised, Sirius is probably more than a little pissed at his broken nose), Jessica/Frank are in denial (I’m working on that), and I still don’t know how the hell James feels about me (the tagline to my life).

I’ve had some time to think about things, and if James is really back to his ways, I’m not really sure what that’s going to do for us. Not that kind of ‘us’, like a couple. No, we aren’t a couple, so wipe that smirk off your face. It’s that kind of…you know…‘us’…oh, shut up. You get what I mean. And in any case, if there ever was a chance in Merlin’s panties that I’d being dating James Potter, they are up in flames now. He’s back to being a jerk. A womanizer. A bad boy. If the rumors are true, then it will completely change the equation around. But what I can’t understand is why he’s all of a sudden acting back to the selfish prick he was before. Does this mean he’s going to try to tease me and chase me again? Date other girls and show too much PDA? Flick paper balls in his Professor’s beard whilst sleeping up on his desk?

Not so sure about that last part. I heard Remus talking about something like that happening in Arithmancy, but you can’t really trust anything those damn marauders say. They’re rotten. The whole lot of them. Either that, or Remus is just the girlie best friend stuck in a teenage drama. The one that’s always trying to fix things but doesn’t act the part for her own character. Wait, did I just say that Remus Lupin is some manly chick in all of this?

… Is it weird that as soon as I thought ‘manly chick’ I pictured an old overweight Swedish woman in her late sixties with a beard and broader shoulders than a gorilla? Or Rambo, in this case?

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite redhead,” a smooth and rugged voice says out of nowhere in the darkly lit hallway.

I squint in the darkness, and in the moonlight, out comes James Potter from the shadows. The moon’s white light is illuminating him, as he’s walking by the window. I halt, my feet squeaking against the marble, as I swallow nervously. He’s looking so enticingly good-


Let’s halt, right now. My brain did not just think that. It was the little man in my head, it was him, I swear. I’m innocent!


He smirks, walking closer to me. “Lily.”

“What are you doing here?”

James has a very poised face. Almost as if he hasn’t smiled in a while. That kind of face that doesn’t show emotion. What is happening to him?

“I was in the neighborhood,” he replies.

“I’m sure you were.” I cross my arms.

“I was actually planning on talking to you tomorrow.”

I raise my eyebrow skeptically.

“But since I’ve already found you…”

“What do you want?” I say, getting to the point.

“Not a damn thing,” he says a bit too normally.

Little man says you’re hot.

“So why are you talking to me?”

Little man says you’re cold.

“Am I not permitted to talk to you? Last time I checked, that was still legal,” he answers, annoyed.

Little man says you’re yes.

“No, it’s just that you disappear on me, again, and then you come at me in the dark.”

Little man says you’re no.

…What? I have a snag for lyrics. Leave me alone.

He snorts. “Come at you in the dark? Make it sound like I’m trying to mug you, why don’t you.”

“Actually, it’s more like a pounce,” I say in acknowledgment. I bite my cheek. Man, I have to remember who I’m talking to sometimes.

“I don’t pounce.”

“…then you frolic,” I counter.

“Yes, I frolic,” he tells me, entertained. There’s this glimmer in his eyes. He gives me a devious smile and I can’t help but know what inside joke he’s laughing about in his head.

“Like a woodland animal,” I add on in a childish manner. I’m just going to keep accumulating things until he stops playing along.

James laughs out loud. While scratching the back of his head, he says, “Right on.”

Huffing, I look at him in agitation. First I try to insult him and it backfires. Now, he’s laughing at my expense. Does anything ever go my way?

“Look, if it isn’t important, I’m just going to go back to the common room, James.”

“Oh-ho, look at that. You said my first name twice, out loud!” He mocks. I bite my lip and give him a strong look.

“What’s with you lately?” The soft spoken words come out all on their own.

James walks closer to me, and before I can even catch guard, I’m backed up into a corner. His face has completely altered from his mocking face to his smoldering face. He’s so hard to read. I say one thing and the whole world stops for this guy; talk about PMS, for real. He’s more sensitive to words than Jess is during her time of the month.

“Oh, nothing, really. Just been battling some internal demons.”

Where have I heard that before…

“Why did you want to talk to me?”

He smiles. But not the genuine type of smile.

“I wanted to let you in on some changes around here that I thought you’d like to know about,” James tells me with full eye contact. My mind focuses on only one word: Change. How many times do we have to go through them? Every damn day is a challenge and every damn thing I know is disappearing. Change? I hate it. I can’t stand it. The effect of the word itself has turned my life into an inferno of drama, deceit, and lies. Why can’t things just stay as they are?

“I don’t like change. I don’t react well with…change,” I say slowly, completely off topic. His face falters for a moment, wondering why out of all that he’s just said, that one word is the only thing that’s caught my attention. James recovers instantly and arches his shoulders forward, so he’s leaning over me. Merlin, he has to stop doing this to me. Back against the wall, he completes the human box trap with putting his arm nonchalantly next to my head.

“Well,” he whispers, “You know what? Things are going to change whether you like it or not, Evans.” He leans in close and I can feel his breath tickle my face. I feel his eyes burning through me. Hesitantly, I look down, but the second I do I feel like I’ve broken a law. Because he somehow manages to make me pull my eyes back up to him.

How does he do it?

“Not if I can help it,” I whimper.

He chuckles blackly, “Always the stubborn one.”

I’m afraid to turn my head because I don’t want him to think I’m trying to escape. Nor do I want him taunting me for looking away from him because someone might see us. He leans in dangerously close before so much as a clear thought or decision to do anything enters my mind.

“Anyway, I just wanted to let you know, I’m back.”

I stare at him long and hard. “What?” I feel like someone’s knocked the wind out of me. Please don’t let it mean what I think it means.

“Forget the party- all the crap…just erase all that rubbish. It’s gone. Dead to me. None of that ever happened. It’s time to start new, on a clean slate.” James is speaking tauntingly, and at the same time, it’s like he’s trying to convince himself. Even I’m trying to convince myself that what he’s just said is a part of reality.

“But how is that possible? What does that even mean?” I rush out.

“James Potter: Hogwarts Resident bad boy is back, baby. New and improved,” he smirks, his face looking marauder-devilishly handsome-ish. Oh, no. It’s that spark…The spark is back in his life. The James Potter Hell-raiser Spark.

“And you haven’t seen anything yet.”

Author's Note:
By the way, to clear up some confusion: When Lily was ranting and saying "Little man says you’re hot. Little man says you’re cold. Little man says you’re yes. Little man says you’re no" I was quoting lyrics. The lyrics are by Katy Perry, taken from her song HOT N'COLD. It fit so well, I just had to throw that in there =P

Chapter 25: Confrontations, Denials, And Qudditch Balls
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Author's Note - Hello fellow readers! Here we are, chapter 25, as I promised! Since it's the summer I'm really going to try and least another three chapters before September rolls around again.

I have alot of projects in the works, and I honestly can't stop writing. Feel free to stop by my author's page and go to my blog for updates on how I'm doing with my fics :] Hopefully, I'll become a trusted author soon, so I can update more frequently. I promise you all though, I almost always have something in the queue...

So leave some support and let me know how you liked this chapter :)

Have a happy reading! :D

Do you know what I really wanna do?

Punch someone in the groin.

Honestly, I woke up today with the weirdest sensation and desire for female domination; hence, the feminist attitude. It’s like every guy I saw in Hogwarts was my enemy. Sort of like some screwed up and twisted anarchy against men had pushed itself into my brain. In other words, today was my ‘I hate men’ day. Quite awkward, considering all my teachers today were male and I gave Professor Slughorn the middle finger behind his back. And he usually doesn’t piss me off, but man, today was just not his day…or any man’s day, for that matter. If a boy coughed too loudly, I told him to shut up with a snarl. If, like Professor Slughorn, there was a male who insisted on announcing himself as superior, he got very rude hand gestures. My middle finger is almost too tired to lift any more. And if a guy bumped into me by accident in the halls, I took a hold of his head and slammed his body against the marble walls.

I’m heading to my last class as we speak – Ancient Runes with Jessica. And Peter. And Remus. And Frank. As you can tell, I’ve been waiting for this all day.

“So last night, during Prefect rounds, James was really quiet. Too quiet, if you ask me,” says Jessica unsurely. “Even when he was Hogwarts’ most legible bachelor, he never shut up. He was always talking, that boy. Now, he’s almost…thinking, before he speaks,” she shudders. “Something’s definitely up.”

“Nothing’s up,” I assure her. “Trust me, the only thing that’s gone up is his ego. He’s back to his old ways. So be it.” I shrug. “If he’s going to go back and ignore everything that’s happened, I can’t change that. I can’t change him. He wants to run away from his problems? Fine. As long as he’s a man about it.”

Jessica gives me a suspicious look. “You know, you’ve really changed in the past two weeks. You were never this open or- I don’t know…certified, in the things you spoke about. You got a big boost of self motivation, or more confidence, yeah? I’d say so. Because the Lily Evans I knew never felt comfortable enough to express herself.”

“Hey, I expressed myself just fine,” I defend. She has her ‘wtf’ face on now. “It’s just that… Things are really clearing up in my mind now. I feel like I want to be able to figure things out. I have a need to make sense! It’s liberating,” I exclaim, looking off into the distance.

Jess chuckles. “Yeah, well, I gotta say. I like this side of you. What ever caused this little confidence spurt- I hope it never goes away. Because I’m loving this new and improved Lily Evans that doesn’t have a problem with putting things in perspective for herself. Even if things are emotionally unsettling, and condescending, and don’t make sense, and are kind of shitty.”

I scoff as we enter the classroom. I contemplate finding two seats in the back to copy off of Peter’s notes, or finding two seats in the front to copy off of Remus’s notes, but then Jessica gets in the way.

“Look, it might be a good idea to sit next to Remus for a change,” she whispers.

“Today is not a good day for any male in general, Jessica,” I comment. I adjust the straps on my bag.

“It could help relieve some post-James stress if you sit next to one of his friends,” she pushes on. “Maybe he knows what to do-”

I wag my finger in her face immediately. “I am NOT doing that again! Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to charge at Remus Lupin’s head for his unresponsiveness during our conversations? I’d rather shoot myself in the friggin’ FOOT.”

Jessica tells me sternly, “You know, you really are becoming difficult to handle with over time.”

I sigh. But it’s not like one of those‘ooh-a-relaxing-pedicure-spa-day-where-I’m-going-to-soak-my-feet-and-smell-like-a-grape’ sigh. This sigh is a bit hostile. And Jessica’s badassness doesn’t scour away at my almost growl. I give up easily.

“But I don’t wanna,” I whine, throwing my arms down.

“Hush, child! Take a seat and work things out! If James is going to play fire with fire, then let his people know you’re up for it. He’ll crumble down eventually. James is doing this because of you.”

I purse my lips in annoyance and I look around the room for any means of escape…from Jessica. Like, say, the window over there. It’s only 57 feet above the ground. I could hop on down in the grass like nothing ever happened. Say hello to the grasshoppers down there since I’d be in their area. No? I shouldn’t?

…Do I sound crazy? Why is it that whenever I ask that question people nod their head! You, nodding your head, stop it this instant!

“Are you living in your mind again?” Jessica pokes my forehead with her finger and I’m pretty sure she’s left a dent. I slap her hand away.

“No, I was just thinking up master plots is all.”

She rolls her eyes. “Whatever, just stay sane when you’re in class. If you act like a nut job in front of Remus, it’ll be a win for James. They’re like his soldiers,” she whispers hoarsely, as if she’s realized where the marauders headquarters is located and she's ready to attack.

“James is not the eyes and ears of Hogwarts, he doesn’t see everything.” If he did, I’d be worried. Because I’m wearing my Cupcake undies today.

“He has people everywhere, watching us.” She paints an invisible picture with her hands as she leads me to my seat.

Remus and I look at each other, expect some sort of explosion, and when neither of us is willing to being dramatic, we equally decide to say nothing as I sit down next to him. How awkward.

“And what about you? Somebody already took your seat; Micah O’Riley is sitting next to Peter.”

Jessica’s face is squished into her ‘thinking expression’. She takes in the size of the classroom and its available seats. My eyes travel to where she is now gaping, and I being to gape with her. The only available seat now, is in the right corner of the room with Frank Longbottom.


“Shut up,” she snarls.


Having class with Remus Lupin as a writing partner made me realize quite a lot today:

1. He’s got a pole stuck up his ass that needs some serious removing.

2. If he doesn’t graduate from Hogwarts and get a teaching job, I’ll be surprised shitless.

3. He’s like a mini-professor and I sometimes wonder how he came to have friends.

4. One of his mates has a new girlfriend. And it’s not Sirius Black.

5. Which means that James Potter is now dating Leslie Toudren as of this morning.

I’d explain how I hastily snapped my quill in half at the news, but you all know me to well. You all get the picture: I freaked out. And not that kind of hyperventilating type of freak out – the kind of spaz out that is violent and crazy and mentally worrisome and everything of the sort. Jessica had just about shit bricks when I told her during Arithmancy. Emma was seriously considering talking to Sirius about his friend’s new girl, but I talked her out of it. So what? So what if he’s dating some chick? Sure, I was shocked. And sure, it upset me. But it wasn’t because I was attracted to him…and it definitely wasn’t because I was jealous…

What hit me full force was that he didn’t hesitate to jumpstart back into his old ways. He didn’t care about the result of his actions, nor the velocity in which he was moving to prove how back to his ways he really was. What was I supposed to do, honestly? Come to terms with James Potter being a prick again? I can’t make this better or right. It’s all up to James now. I quit. I quit with everything. He’s ruining my new screw-you attitude and if fighting with him is making me realize my full potential, then fuck it. I won’t go near him. This is all his choice anyways. The boy does not know how to deal.
“I cannot believe you sat next to Frank!” I say excitedly, lying down on my four-poster. The dormitory is full of girls going in and out for classes. Luckily for us, we have a free period after Arithmancy that we can spend doing what ever we want.

“Oh, hush! It was just a seat,” she clarifies, lying down next to me on my bed.

I turn my head to look at her. “Jess. You have feelings for Frank, just admit it.”

She gets up and starts to loosen the tie around her neck, unbuttoning her collar as she does so. “I don’t fancy him. And no, I am not in denial. Don’t think I can’t hear how you and Emma discuss that when I’m not around. Just because my sheets are pulled over my bed and my head is under my pillow, it doesn’t mean I can’t eavesdrop.” She pulls the tie over her head and throws it on the floor. And when it hits the ground she realizes what she’s just done, and starts to button up her collar in haste.

Why? Because on the side of her neck is a big purple bruise.

“IS THAT A HICKEY!?” I bolt off my bed and firmly grasp my best friend by the throat.

“What are you, a vampire now? Get off my neck!” Her eyes shift around nervously as she pushes my hands away.

“What the crap is this? No, correction – who the crap gave this to you!? Was it Frank? It was Frank, wasn’t it? Bumbling baboons, I cannot believe this -!”

“Everyone from here to Egypt is going to hear you!” She quickly clasps a hand over my mouth.

I lick her hand.

“Argh!” She pulls her hand away and gives me a disgusted look.

“Now, don’t go all defendant on me, Finelly. Tell me who did this to you and don’t change the subject!”

“It was a long time ago!”

I throw my hands over my mouth. “It was with Frank in that classroom, the day James and I talked in the common room!”

Jessica blushes furiously. “It was worse before, and it’s really not that noticeable now. So don’t make a big deal over-”

“You like him! Admit it, please,” I whiff.


“Do it!”

“I will not do any such thing, I don’t have the hots for Frank so just let-it-go.” She stomps into the bathroom and slams the door closed. I sit back down on my bed and cross my arms in thought. I have to fix this and get them together myself, don’t I?

“Hey, Lily,” says Emma, walking towards me.

“Emma, what’s up?” I eye her for a second and remember she should be in Astronomy. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

She shrugs. “Sirius pushed me to ditch class so I could see him during Quidditch practice, and I kind of feel liberated. I should be bad and break the rules more often,” Emma says sheepishly. I smile at her. “I just thought I’d come up here and see what you two girls where up to, I feel like we’ve been separated and I insist on having another girls night. Heaven knows we’ll break the rules again.”

I laugh. “This is becoming a bad habit, isn’t it?”

“You’re bad habit,” she corrects. “I’m just the good girl thrown in the mess.”

“Well, once and a while a good girl has to go bad,” I wink.

“Oh, stop,” she wheedles, a little embarrassed at the change Sirius is having on her life. “Anyways, where’s Jess?”

“She huffed off into the bathroom to be all angst-y because she can’t take her feelings for Frank seriously.”



“That’s the second time! She needs a reality check.”

“Definitely.” I move down my comforter and make room for Emma by pushing my books down on the floor.

“What about you?” she asks, sitting down.

“What about me?”

“How are the boys in your life?”

My face deflates. “You mean the one boy ruining my life?”

I bet my life could go on a lot smoother if James sort of…oh, I don’t know…fell off the face of the planet.

“He doesn’t ruin your life! If anything, you both contribute to the destruction of both of your petty lives,” she tells matter-of-factly, before whacking me with a pillow.

“How dare you thwart me with my own pillow, while sitting on my own bed?” How rude. I take the pillow from her and hug it like a newborn child. I rest my chin on the top and feathers spew out. They almost hit me in the eye.

“See? One person mentions James Potter, and an inanimate object tries to poke me in the pupil. Do I have a death wish or something?”

“Hah, no, Sweetie. It’s just Sixth Year,” she says.

I sigh with much frustration. “I can’t believe he’s dating Leslie Toudren. Leslie Mother Effing Toudren. I caught them snogging for crying out loud.” I start wagging my legs off the side of my bed frame like a child. “He didn’t have to do that. Now I’m just thinking everything he does is personal…” I stare at the ground and my voice squeaks. “It’s just not fair!”

“What’s not fair? You not being able to date James instead of Leslie?”

“Ya-“I immediately catch myself off guard and realize what almost just came out of my mouth. “Yah….way. As in the…Jewish name for…you know…God. I heard they call that…um, yeah it’s Yahweh!” I shift my eyes and try to play along. What the hell did I just say? Since when did I become so informed with Judaism?

As I was saying…No, I am not jealous and no, I don’t like James. Stop laughing, Emma. I’m gonna kick you in the ovaries! I don’t like him at all. NO! NOT ONE BIT!” I sock her right in the baby making machine.


“That’s right,” I explain. “You’re going to get hit down there again if you keep it up.”

“I think you should tell him how much you hate him, then,” she says to me almost snidely.

“Maybe I will,” I glare. “Humph.”

“Sirius and James are in the middle of Quidditch practice right now.” She looks at the clock. “We could walk down to the Pitch and see what’s going on over there. Maybe you’ll have a chance to tell James how much he destroys your life,” she rolls her eyes.

“Why don’t you believe me? I don’t like him- I really do hate him. In fact, I’ll prove it.” I get up and adjust my school skirt. “Let’s go down there right now. I’ll slowly be hoping he’ll fall off his broom, but regardless; I’ll march up to him when practice is done and give him a piece of my mind. I was actually planning on James dealing with his problems on his own, and I was also planning that he’d come up to me to apologize, because I was actually going to steer clear from him. But since you’re intimidating me to go down there and yell at him, I am now not going to back down from this challenge,” I huff, “until I come back to the castle with his newly chopped off head.”

Emma chews the inside of her cheek with a worried expression. “Are you okay in the head?”

“Pfft. I’m fine. Ace as grapes, why?”

“You’re getting feisty. And after Lily Evans gets feisty she gets bitchy, and then the next level after that is VIOLENT. So I’m kind of worried about where you’re going with this.”

I roll my eyes, like what I just said was no big deal. I shrug and say, “So what, it’s just his head. He can get another one-”

“Merlin, Lily shut up!” Emma grabs my hand and leads the way down the stairs. “Jess, I’m borrowing Lily for the rest of the hour!”

I don’t like Frank!” Jessica barks back to us obliviously. Emma and I momentarily forget about my ‘violence’ problems and we snicker at Jess in unison.

It’s a sunny day on the Quidditch Pitch, but at the same time it feels kind of gloomy. Maybe it’s some perminant filter stuck to the back of my pupils that make every thing belong to some sort of horror death scene, who knows…? Emma and I sit in the stands and watch the boys and girls on the Gryffindor team pass the Quaffle and dodge the Bludgers and score goals for about twenty minutes. Sirius whizzes past us and smiles, beaming at the fact that his girlfriend gifted him with a surprise visit during practice.

“Hey,” he calls out to us from behind. Sirius flies back around again full circle and nudges James before flying towards us again. James locks eyes with me from all the way across the Pitch, and for a split second he’s caught off guard and doesn’t know what to expect, but his demeanor falls quickly, and is replaced with a smirk and an interesting wink. This makes me want to punch his eyes out, AND kick him in the groin. He should be used to it anyway, I know some girls that have beaten him up at least once. And he plays Quidditch so…having a broomstick between his legs is so customary that he’d be used to the idea of being hit in that region. What, like you’ve never thought of that before? Oh, please.

I cross my arms and bite the inside of my check expectantly, responding to James with one of my bitchy expressions; eyebrow raised, lips set in a smirk, eyes fiery, arms crossed in a steel grip, foot tapping impatiently. And James Potter only seems to be intrigued, if not up to, the challenge of dealing with me after practice. He’d entertained by the idea of just having a bitchy Lily Evans to talk to when he gets off his broom, the prat. He smiles back at me almost immediately. Oh, boy… He does NOT know what’s coming to him. I’m going to prove Emma Tebbon wrong, alright. I’ll wring his neck if it’s the last thing I do.

James Potter is new and improved?
Well, so am I.

“Alright, team! Practice is over for today…good job guys. We’ll pick up where we left off next week!” James Potter, the Quidditch Captain, calls out to his team. Everyone is dismissed, and only James and Sirius are left on the field. Emma raises her eyebrows at me, expecting me to get up and give James ‘a piece of my mind’ right at this moment.

I get up and grab Emma as we make our way down the Pitch. James braces himself and turns back around again, completely ignoring me. Oh, he’s askingfor it. Sirius begins collecting the Quidditch balls and kicks them towards the trunk where James is standing. He picks up the Quaffle with his feet and starts to freestyle some footie.

“Hey, look!” Sirius draws attention to his best friend, as the Quaffle is being kicked in the air back and forth. He then picks up the Snitch and starts trying to juggle both the Snitch and the Quaffle with his feet.

James looks at his best friend like one looks at an annoying child.

“Please, Sirius. In socially acceptable terms…please stop playing with my balls.”

“No! It’s fun!” Sirius whines, kicking them towards James. The Quidditch Captain is left with no other choice but to join in on the juggling.

I stomp across the grass with Emma in tow. Sirius catches sight of Emma and leaves James hanging by himself. He gives Emma a big hug and she smiles back at him. I, on the other hand, look like a charging bull. James Potter’s profile is in my frontal vision and before I can stop myself I yell out at him.

“Let go of those balls before I kick yours in!”

He’s a bit taken back by me, his head snapping in my direction. He purses his lips and drops the Quaffle and snitch on the ground. Facing me, he crosses his arms and stands up straight; feet apart and jaw set. I scowl.

“Oh, what is that? Your ‘terminator’ stance? Don’t look so dominant!”

He narrows his eyes. “Shut up, Evans.”

I grind my teeth and ignore his simple jab. “You have some explaining to do.”

He smirks, knowing full well what I’m talking about. “Oh?” He plays on innocently. “What about, love?”

I’m not your damn love, you crap-muffin. “Your new girlfriend.”

“Ah, yes. The lovely Leslie. She’s a fox, isn’t she?”

“I know you’re doing this just to spite me, James Potter. And just so you know… it isn’t affecting me at all. In fact, I kind of feel sorry for the poor girl that has to deal with you.”

“Really, now?” His face brightens up tauntingly as he takes a few steps forward. “I’m oh-so intrigued by this fact, Evans. Do continue with your statement.”

I look around, hoping to think of a good comeback. Uh…

Nope, I got nothin’. I cross my arms in haste. Wow, I’ve been doing that a lot lately. “I’m done,” I say bluntly.

“Finally,” he comments in monotone. I mentally poke him in the eye.

“What, no snappy comeback? No snarky comment? You have absolutely nothing to say for yourself?”

“Well, if I remember correctly, I did tell you I changed.” He wags a finger at me.

“Correction – You told me you changed again,” I clarify. I stick my nose in the air. “Obviously, you’re having some weird character-changing breakdowns and your acting like this just to prove me wrong. And it’s not working. So give it up, because you’re the last intimidation that could ever get on my last nerve.”

“Ouch,” he fakes, grabbing his heart. “Is Lily Evans getting bitchy on me?” He moves closer, and I can see his sweat from Quidditch dripping down his face. “I gotta say, you are kind of cute when you’re like this.” He smirks at my freaked out face.

“Give it up, James,” I tell him again, stronger this time. “I’m on to you. I know what you’re trying to pull. Just let it go now and we might be able to walk away from each other like civilized adults.”

He seethes a bit before regaining his posture. “I told you once, and I won’t tell you again,” he snaps, annoyed. “This is me now. Take it or leave it, babe. Because I guarantee that life from now on is going to be a lot more interesting than before. So unless you have issues with coming-to-terms and dealing with shit, I suggest you get over yourself. And stay out of my business.” James pushes past me and heads straight for the showers. Emma is looking at me, completely flabbergasted at his outburst. Sirius is wide-eyed at what his best friend’s just told me. None of us were expecting that.

“Well…DAMN!” I throw my hands in the air in anger.

“Er, calm down,” Emma begs, rushing to my side.

“No!” I push her away. “If he’s going to be a total prick and act up this whole ‘bad boy’ routine for real, then bring it on! I’m not going to quit until he backs down first, I promise you that. Bring it, James Potter. Bring. It. On.”

Sirius squints at me with one eye. “Fuck, everyone’s going nuts,” he says to himself. He shakes his head and turns around, following James’s retreating figure. “I am so not dealing with this right now. Why can’t people just work out their damn problems…my best friend’s gone mental…the women are getting more and more vicious each year…why do I even come back to this place…” he trails off, talking to himself with his hands.

Emma puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me around to face her. “Look, don’t stoop down to his level Lily. He’s just trying to pretend that what ever happened between you two never happened. He’s just running away-”

“I’m tired of him running away!” I burst. “The only way I can beat him at this game now is to get him back. I have to fight fire with fire, Em. I need to make things right. I’m going to get Frank and Jessica together AND I’m going to get James back. At the same time.”

“And!? What do you mean AND GET JAMES BACK? This isn’t a game,” Emma shouts. “If you both keep this up, you’re going to destroy this place. When I meant giving James a piece of your mind, I didn’t mean challenging him to a duel of false façades! You’re going to get hurt. Both of you are going get hurt,” Emma ends softly.

I take a deep breath. We’re the only ones on the Pitch now, and Lunch is going to start in a matter of minutes. I snake my arms through hers as we walk back into Hogwarts. “Trust me, this is going to be the only way to get James off his high horse. I’m sick and tired of this mess. He’s going to pretend nothing’s going on and date Leslie and act like the ‘bad boy of Hogwarts’ again? Fine. I’m going to show him the new and improved Lily Evans he’s never seen before. James won’t know what to do with himself.”

“I still don’t think this is going to turn out well…” Emma frowns.

“Don’t worry,” I tell her. “This is strictly business – and revenge.”

“Someone’s feelings are bound to get hurt.”

I roll my eyes. “Pfft, save your breath, Emma, because I don’t like him. I have no feelings for him at all.” She looks at the ground as we continue our way up the stairs to the Great Hall. “The only person who’s going to get hurt is James.”

“But hasn’t he been hurt enough?” Emma mumbles to herself, but I don’t hear her. I see Jessica down the corridor and wave.

“Finally! I thought you were never going to leave that bathroom…with out making yourself look pretty, just in case Frank came around.”

“Ha-ha-ha,” Jessica says sarcastically, opening the Great Hall’s two twin doors. “I don’t know what I have to do to prove to you guys that I don’t like him-”

My eyes scan the person that’s just swiftly ran behind me and through the corridor and I am no longer listening to Jessica. I tell Emma and Jess to go on without me as Frank runs off. Luckily, my friends don’t notice him. Ah-ha! Time to confront Frank about Jessica. I pull up my sleeves as I see him scurrying down the other side of the hallway. He’s supposed to be going to lunch too, but I guess when he saw us girls he panicked and just ran off. What a little sissy. Awe, but I love that little sissy.

I begin to sprint towards him, and he turns the corner.

Oh, no he doesn’t. I’m not letting him run away from me this time!

I haven’t seen him since the other day when I told him I knew exactly who he was. He didn’t even let me finish what I was going to say before he bolted out of the library. I see his back getting closer and closer as I follow him around the corner. For some reason, he doesn’t have his robes on this afternoon. In the fall, they’re kind of mandatory for Hogwarts students’ uniforms. But, then again, Frank isn’t one to give a fuck about mannerisms, rules, or order.

I start to huff. Frank Longbottom can run, let me tell you. If we had a track team, he’d win Regional competitions out the ass. I finally catch up to him after a while and I pull on the back of his collar. Frank finally turns around and he looks at me as if he’s a deer stuck in headlights.

I smirk. “I know who you are, Frank,” I repeat from the other day. I know he knows what I’m talking about. He coughs roughly, trying to advert is stare somewhere else. I become soft in a matter of seconds, and put on my serious face. I look at him kindly, and I let go of everything going on in my head momentarily as I speak to him.

“You’re a boy who doesn’t trust easily, for the simple fact that your mother took your trust from you when she left. You can’t stand mother figures, either,” I conclude, “because it makes you think about what you didn’t have when you were growing up. People question why you don’t have many friends, why you do what you do – give people advice – why you let others know it is perfectly okay to trust you, and there are two reasons for this…”

I get a bit hesitant; I’m afraid about what I’m going to say next. Frank’s face is unmoving, and his body is standing tall in front of me, still as stone.

“One, you let other’s trust you because you despise your mother. And you want to be the exact opposite of her. It’s a mockery, in a way. You’re saying, ‘I’ll be everything you could never be for me’, for other people; because you want to be what she couldn’t. It gives you power knowing you’re nothing like her. It assures you that what you are doing is worth it, one hundred percent.” I sigh and continue, trying not to tear up at the sound of my voice.

“And two, you never ever got to have a sister. No one you got to take care of; you only had to take care of yourself. Your father lived in his own world, and all you wanted to do was feel something. And that’s exactly what you did, when you decided to help people. You felt something for everyone. You wanted people to trust you, so you offered this kind of service to them, because it was the only way you could personally take care of them. Like you never got to take care for your sister. You do this as a tribute to her, as if she’s your inspiration for helping other people.”

By the time I’m done, I’m two steps away from opening the water works. His eyes are still locked on mine. His hands are still relaxed, hanging in his pockets. And his back is still straight, his shoulders firm and unfaltering.

When I see Frank like this when I’m done speaking, I tell myself to get a grip. He’s such a strong guy, you know? I’m basically telling him who he is to his face, and he is still strong enough to stand and take it.

I never thought this would be so emotional for me. When I think about it, he’s gone through so much. He has a story, like everyone else in the world. And no one’s had the guts to hear it. But then again, his story doesn't need to be heard; Frank Longbottom doesn’t need to be heard. He never has, and people have always understood him anyway. His trademark? Silence.

Silence, and his hand movements. That’s his story. I’ve unfolded the mystery that is Frank Longbottom, and I can’t help it – my heart tugs at him. He doesn’t like who he is, but he’s accepted it regardless. How about a friend for him? Someone to listen to him when he doesn’t know what to do for a change?

“You let people judge you, because you’ve come to realize you don’t care what they think about you. It’s what they might really KNOW about you that scares you.”

I look up at him. Frank’s eyes are glossy and he’s still unmoving. I get the courage to stop myself from wanting to cry. If Frank can do it, then I can do it. I’ll be strong, just like him.

“You don’t know if you like who you are. And you don’t want people to have the opportunity to see who you really are, because you’re worried they’ll leave you like your mother left you.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

Frank gives me a sad smile. “You know, Marilyn Monroe once said, ‘The truth is, I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who or what I was. Instead, they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them – they were obviously loving someone I wasn’t.’ And I don’t think I’ve ever really truly understood what she meant until today. Thank you for helping me realize that.”

I bite my lip. “I know you, Frank. Don’t be scared,” I say sincerely.

“I know,” he responds, putting an arm over my shoulder. I give him a half hug as he continues. “Thank you.”

“For what?”


Awe! Merlin, I’m gonna bawl like a fricking baby…
I let go of Frank and tell him to shut up. He grins.

“One more thing,” I add, while we walk towards the Great Hall.


“What do we do about you and Jessica?”

Frank smirks secretly. Am I missing something, or does he have a plan?

“Hell hath no fury, Evans. Hell hath no fury…” he reminds me, before entering the Great Hall and starting a fight with Jessica.

Chapter 26: Love And Broomsticks
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Oh my gosh! I am so excited for you all to read this chapter, I put some extra funny jabs for you guys to make up for my lack of updates :P Hope you all enjoy! The first part of this chapter was actually one of the first scenes I had ever written, right when I chose the name for this fic. Now you all will know...why it's called Love & Broomsticks! Try to figure out why I chose those two elements to be part of the title, and let me know in your review!

I thought Muggle Studies was bad enough way before this school week got started, but I stand corrected. This can get worse. Much worse. Like, say, computer lessons being replaced with feelings, and thoughts of the mind, and how one is affected my emotions- and- and- Merlin… hormones! Could you imagine? No, wrong question - Could you imagine yourself talking openly about teenage hormonal instabilities in a classroom filled with people that care more about their broomsticks than their wands?

That sounded highly suggestive.

“Alright, class. I’ll be naming off partners I’ve assigned for this project when I come back… I’ll be just a moment,” Professor Franklin tells us, before swiftly leaving the classroom and excusing herself to talk to another teacher. But I bet she’s just using the loo.

“I’m kind of excited for this,” Jessica says to me, look wide awake and open for today’s lesson. I, on the completely different and lopsided other hand, look like I need an energy drink injection to my heart and ten pounds of coffee. I woke up today with the biggest headache, and I think I feel a cold coming on. Fabulous. Like it wasn’t bad enough that I was up all night doing extra credit homework for Biggins. That teacher is Satan on tiny legs. And to top it all off? I get reminded that today is a new lesson day in Muggle Studies. On the one day I feel like crap in a brown bag set on fire, my class and I have to start discussing our ‘feelings’ about what we ‘go through’. Hell no. I’ve seen the televisions shows. I refuse to be left sitting in an awkwardly shaped chair to speak about why I hate myself and my yetti-like hair.

“Oh, yeah,” I spit out sarcastically, “I can’t wait to explain my feelings about my redheaded fro to Professor Franklin.”

“You look fine,” she assures me.

She’s a big fat liar. Have you seen my late night comb-over hair? No? Then you can’t agree with Jessica. Because it looks horrible! Really. It looks like someone’s dragged me across the pavement backwards. And I say that melodramatically. I had no time to look decent or get myself ready this morning.

“No, I do not look fine. And no, I do not want to do this!” It’s too early in the morning for a Dr. Phil session.

My best friend throws me one of her looks. “Lily, class hasn’t even started yet and you’re already yelling negativity in my zen. I’m trying to harbor my positivity before class so please keep your negative thoughts out of my mental garden.”

I throw her my WTF face. “Uh, what?

Jess pretends that she hasn’t just said something completely unlike her. She looks around nervously before turning to me. “What?” she asks nonchalantly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

Okay, number one: Jessica is chipper than I am today. Which never happens. Number two, she took extra time to make herself look good this morning, which makes me feel like I’m stuck in the Beauty and the Beast. Number three, she’s talking about peace and tranquility.

“What the hell is a zen?” I blurt out.

She sighs and bites her thumbnail.

“And why are you so happy!?”

I have a inkling about why she’d be doing this, but not so early into the day. It’s first period. She usually doesn’t wake up until second period. Frank honestly can’t be making her go that crazy she has to make sure she’s model perfect all the time for their arguments. Besides, Frank Longbottom isn’t in this class.

“I’m just trying to stay positive and awake,” she says eagerly.

My left eyebrow goes up as I examine her. “Right.”

“Besides, I think it’s a good thing to try and make the most our of your day. I mean there’s always going to be someone out there to ruin it for you,” I cough -Frank reference- and cough again, “but I think being happy is important. And I really want to try and be a bit more positive in my life. Hell, I even started doing yoga.”

I have nothing to say. I just bite the inside of my cheek and gaze at her.

“It’s not a bad thing to try, anyways. I’m tired of being pissed off all the time. Mainly it was with my issues with Jeff, but I’m okay with that now. I let him go and I am stress free… for the most part. And I’m actually excited for this class! Can you believe it? Me- excited, for Muggle Studies? You know, I always liked Psychology…”

My mind goes off on its own and before I know it I start to see dancing sheep and leaping coyotes. Don’t judge me, I’m suffering from lack of sleep.

“Okay, students,” Professor Franklin says upon her arrival, “Pick up your quills and notepads.” She lifts off the sheet of names from her desk. “We are about to begin our first lesson of the day with your new partners.”

“Riley and Stevens, Marchin and Blimgt-”

“Uh, the ‘G’ is silent,” Huvian Blimgt pipes up.

She looks annoyed and continues. “Right… Finelly and Clinsky, Black and Lupin…”

A high five is distributed in the middle of the classroom behind me. Two guess who they are.

“- Margham and Pettigrew, Potter and Evans, Micah and Oakland…”

Oh, fuck my life sideways!

After Professor Franklin is done calling out all the names from her list, everyone begins to move.

“Lily,” Jessica warns me, “Get up.”

I curled my hands around the desk. “NO.”

I’m not talking about Psychology with James Potter. I could laugh out loud like a maniac right now. How ironic could this be? This is Dumbledore’s sick joke, isn’t it? Having a conference with the teachers and telling them to ruin me. I swear it’s happening.

Sirius and Remus somehow end up sitting in the two desks behind me.

“Hello there, mate!” Sirius Black greets, plopping down in his seat.

My elbows lock.


“I’m not moving, Jess.”

“This is unhealthy, even for you-”

“Oh, where, oh, where, could my partner be?” The devil cites before stalking over.

I bite my lip. I give my best friend my pity glance: Save me from this nightmare, my facial features scream out.

Jess narrows her eyes at James in response. She may be in a positive state of mind, but I sure as hell know she‘s got my back when it comes to eye-narrowing. Or ass kicking. “Don’t act stupid, alright? She’s not in the mood today. She hasn’t had enough coffee to handle you yet. If I hear anything from across the room, I’ll be kicking you straight in the arse,” she advises him before walking all the way across the room to meet with her partner.

James gives me a wicked smile and winks. “Well. That was a welcomed greeting.” He turns his chair around and immediately starts chatting with his friends. Meanwhile, our Professor is trying to quiet everyone down to explain the directions for today’s activity. An activity I’m going to have to do with James Potter.

Stick a fork in my eye.

Do it.


“Settle down, everyone. Settle down.”

James is still hammering away, talking about some film he saw.

I do the rational thing and pinch his thigh. Hard.

“Ah!” he squeals, rubbing the spot. He’s looking caught off guard and offended. 


“Yes?” I ask with spite.

“No you may not!” He exclaims, not giving me permission to pinch him again.

“Oh, I may,” I tell him with a twitch in my eye. And it must look nice with my Chewbacca hair I have going on. A good over all mental view of my evil scorning-ness. Yep.

Professor Franklin coughs loudly to get everyone’s attention.

“Now, as you all may know, we will be moving on to psychology for our next Muggle Studies lesson. This month, we will be discussing emotions and how the mind truly works. You will be working with your partner for the most of this month’s lesson, so make sure you both are comfortable with working with each other. If there is a problem with the partner I have assigned you, please write me a note and stick it in my mailbox.”

Will twelve notes suffice?

“I am not really sure how many of you have truly studied the art Psychology can truly be- there are many ways, I assure you, to study the works of the brain. But, we will be doing things a bit differently then some of you may think. Instead of the tradition Muggle texts on teaching, we will be working more on magical emotions caused by wizards and witches alike. More hands-on, in sense,” she informs us, walking towards her chalk board. She waves her wand and notes appear.

“This is your assignment for this week, due on Friday. I decided to let you know ahead of time so you and your partner could discuss and prepare on how to complete the parts of this assignment. Today we will start out with just an introduction to perception, critical thinking, and the like. But before we delve into the matters that pertain to your assignment above, we will do a little exercise.”

Running out of this damn classroom is the only kind of exercise that’s coming to my mind right about now.

“Our knowledge of the mind will not just stop and how we see and perceive things, but also how we feel things as a whole, as a unit. A lot of individualism, you could say, will be broken apart and spread around for us to analyze. This exercise, for instance, will be very opinionated, but its all for the good of knowledge. It will help us learn that not everyone thinks the same as us. There is no right or wrong answer.”

“I like the sound of that,” James sniggers.

I hiss, my teeth barred out. He jolts and then tries to play it off as an electric shock.

“We will definitely be doing a lot of these throughout the next couple of weeks, but your results will be graded. For today’s exercise, it will be nothing but practice…except, I will be collecting your data after class, so make it good and spend all your time in a productive manner. Without opening your books, turn to your partners.”

It’s like an old western gun dual soundtrack has started playing. James looks at me, and I look at him. He raises his eyebrow, and I raise mine. He blows me a kiss, and I give him my middle finger.

“Make sure to turn your chairs around fully so you are facing each other. Okay, now on a piece of paper, write your answer to the question I’m going to ask you. The rules are, you cannot speak to your partners, and you cannot take your eyes off of each other. No wandering eyes and no looking around the room. This is a thinking drill to see if you can see your own reasoning while trying not to think about the person in front of you.”

“Ready to stare and get lost into my dreamy eyes, Evans?”

“Oh, were those your eyes? I thought they were gaping black holes of death residing in the middle of your face,” I say in monotone.

Remus and Sirius laugh out loud and Professor Franklin tells them to hush.

“As I was saying, no peaking around the classroom and do not look at what you write. Are we all ready for the question?”

The whole class says yes in unison.

Professor Franklin reads off her clipboard and asks us, “What makes the world go ‘round?”

Meep? What kind of question is that?

“You are allowed to discuss this topic with your partners, but you may not tell them what you are writing down.,” our professor finishes off, before the classroom erupts into chatter.

“Well, this is going to be pretty easy,” my partner says cockily.

I narrow my eyes. “How so?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I push him to continue.

“Quidditch!” he says.

I bite back a laugh. “Quidditch?”




“Hah, I don’t think so. I highly doubt Quidditch makes the world go ‘round.”

“Oh, really,” he wheedles sarcastically.

“Really,” I say again.

“And why the hell not?”

I roll my eyes. “Because, James I-am-a-sports-bigot Potter, the world itself doesn’t revolve around sports. Nor does it depend on that particular sport to keep going around and around again. Obviously she means something on an intellectual level.”

“Whatever,” he scoffs.

“Whatever,” I mimic like a gorilla.

“Really cute,” he comments.

“Shut up.”

We end up staring at each other boringly while everyone else is working. This goes on for about three full minutes. And then we resort to listening to other people’s conversations. Which turns out to be a bad idea, because we’re in the front of the classroom. And the other desks are placed farther away. They’re kind of scattered in to rows of two, but we’re just pushed up more. And what does that lead to?

“Oh, Remus, your eyes are so dreamy.”

It leads to THIS.

In our peripheral vision, we can basically see Remus and Sirius making flirty kissy sounds, pretending to be schoolgirls. What pricks. Even though we can’t turn our heads or look around, the effect is still the same. Although I’d love to see this full on for myself.

“Oh, Sirius, what a wonderful complexion you have,” Remus cries out in a girly voice.

Sirius pretends to bat his eyelashes. “Oh, but you are so much prettier.”

“OHHHHHHHH, you are soooooo sweet!”

I take offense to this. And not just the dialogue. All of it. Firstly girls do not talk like that. Ever. And second, we don’t talk to other girls about how pretty they are. If Remus and Sirius are both girls, then the whole ‘making fun of girls flirting with guys thing’ doesn’t work.

See? I have rational thinking skills.

“I knew it,” James feigns surprise. “All those late night tutoring sessions…they were all cover ups. I knew it all along, I did.”

“How could you not? He’s my type,” Sirius jokes.

“Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? You usually go for guys two inches shorter than you.”

“What can I say? I fell for his…wolfish manly features,” Sirius smirks. Now he’s just carrying it out too far.

Remus Lupin’s faces instantly stiffens. Is it just me, or is he playfully glowering at Sirius?

“I mean, he practically animal pounced on me-”

Remus punches him in the arm, making Sirius respond with, “GAH!”

James bursts into laughter. I pinch his thigh again.


“Focus!” I snap. “We have to get this done. Never mind them.”

“Ugh, fine. You think of something.”

“Me? Why me?” I spit out desperately. “I can’t do all the work. And besides, you have to write your own answer. You idiot, if you listened to Professor Franklin-”

“Wah-Wah, Wah-Wah...WAHHHHH.” He makes little figure puppets with his hands and insinuates to me that I talk to much and that I am boring him to tears.

“Oh,” I growl. “Do not get me started.”

“But I love rallying you up,” he says happily. I ignore him and focus on our assignment.
I sigh and calm myself down. “Okay, so we need to discuss what we think about the question and talk about what we personally think contributes to the world going ‘round. We can’t see our answers, so we’re going to have to talk about it without giving out too much information.”


“And, what?”

“What is it going to do? Is she going to tell us if we are doing it correctly? Is there a certain way to do this - are you sure you are following everything right?”

I seethe. “Yes, you ignorant little panda. I am following everything perfectly. Now talk.” Before I hit you in the nads and turn you into a eunuch.

“I told you. I think Quidditch makes the world go ‘round,” he states simply.

“For heaven’s sake, come on.”

“Get off my back! I like Quidditch, and I’m biased. So be it. In my world, Quidditch and the world revolve around each other. Or me, rather.”

At least it sounds like him.

“But that’s so shallow! She’s looking for meaningful answers-”

“And how do you now? What if the purpose of this whole exercise is to find out what’s really important to a person, and to find out what they personally think controls their life?”

I open my mouth a crack to respond, but I’m stumped.
Oh my poop-y pants. What if he’s right?

“What if the whole point of the question is to see how many people have something in common? Say, my world revolves around Quidditch, and your world revolves around… Oh, I don’t know…ruining lives- what would that say-”


“I’m sorry, did I say something offensive?”

“I do not ruin lives!” I inform him. “And even if you are right about the exercise, we can’t be sure. It’s better to show a more intellectual side. Something deeper behind your first thought. Like tacos, for instance. Sirius Black’s world practically revolves around tacos. Maybe that means he wants to learn Spanish, or he likes Mexican food, or he’s having an affair with a Spanish woman-”

“I wish…” Sirius mumbles.

“Stay out of this,” I squeak.

“Me too,” Remus says in a melancholy voice.

“Anyway,” I interrupt. “What I’m trying to say is that there has to be a motive behind what we think.”

James looks down in his lap for a split second and before I can yell at him about leaving my eye contact, he looks up at me with innocent eyes. “What about you?” He asks quietly.

I’m not ready for his softness, so I just stand there with my mouth agape, ready to speak, with my eyebrows raised and chest puffed with air. I exhale and swallow loudly. I blink a few more times.

“What do you mean?

“What makes your world go ‘round?”

Why am I sweating?

“Uh, I’m… not sure,” I make out after a while.


I furrow my eyebrows in frustration and try to think. “I guess…I guess that family doesn’t really make the world go ‘round. Maybe other people’s families- well, uh, I don’t know. Happiness, maybe? Being with people that make you feel great.”

He nods his head in agreement. I think?


“Okay,” I murmur.

That’s it.
That’s what it is.
That’s what makes the world go ‘round.

“Hey, James, do you think saying ‘a cucumber makes the world go ‘round’ signifies that men dominate existence in a sick, twisted, and completely sexual way?”


“Thought so.”

“I like cucumbers though! You make it sound perverted,” Remus whines.

Sirius howls in laughter and holds his head in his hands. His shoulders shake as he stutters, “You- you, you like cucumbers…”

I can feel the heat of Remus Lupin’s cheeks from all the way over here. I don’t even have to look at him to know he’s flushed and embarrassed.

“You’re a bastard, Padfoot.”


Yes, he really did just laugh like that.

“You ruddy little pervert.”

“Whatever,” Sirius laughs, “you like cucumbers.”

“Boys,” I intervene. “Enough with the sexual innuendos.”


“Lily likes cucumbers,” James bursts into laughter. And so do his friends.

My eyes bug out of my head. OH MY GOD!

“You ignoramus!” I burst. “I can speak for myself! And as for my vegetable preferences…they don’t involve you.”

“What she means to say, Prongs, is that it doesn’t involved your cucumber,” Sirius corrects. Remus barks out laughter and Professor Franklin comes stalking over.

Sweet biscuits! My mouth is just hanging open in shock right now! I cannot believe he just said that. James is red in the face and I look absolutely horrified. Shoot me now.

“Are you two done with the exercise?” she says almost snidely at Sirius and Remus.

Yes, get me the hell out of here!

“Yes, ma’am,” Sirius smiles. Charming, I’m sure.

She gives him a tightlipped smile before walking off to see how the other students across the room are doing.

“Jeez, you accidentally explode someone’s computer ONE TIME and all of a sudden they have a reason to hate you. Sheesh.”

“Except it wasn’t just one computer,” I state, even though no one is listening to me.

“She has a nice bum, though,” he comments, squinting to look at her. There are so many things wrong with this boy. He just said Professor Franklin had a nice bum, and he also broke the eye contact rule. It shouldn’t matter if he’s done, this is an exercise. Is he scholarly-direction following challenged? He should get a medal for being the randomest and most impromptu person in the wizarding world.


“Yes, Gingerpie?”

“If it weren’t for Emma, I’d kick you in the mouth. Just saying.”

A siren starts ringing loudly in the classroom. I groan and grip my ears. Professor Franklin looks stricken for a moment and takes her wand out. She performs a silencing charm as quickly as she can.

“Er, sorry. A tad too loud?” she asks the class.

“Just a bit,” I hear Jessica say across the classroom, sounding utterly pissed and disgruntled. So much for inner zen.

“That was the timer. Which means time is up. So please, everyone, write down your answer on your parchment without looking at your partner’s answer.”

“Don’t write Quidditch,” I warn him.

He just sticks his tongue out like a child and scribbles down on our parchment.

“Now before I go about collecting your answers, take a look for yourselves at what your partners have written,” she says, giving us permission to look. James and I switch papers.

I almost rip his in half. “BROOMSTICKS!?”

He shrugs, giving me a careless look. “It was the closest thing to Quidditch I could think of.”

I’ve been partnered with someone who knows his wood preferences better than his times tables.

“James, you dolt! Do you have any sensibility at all?”

“Shut’cho mouth! Broomsticks is a very valid answer to what was asked. So stop hating.”

“I’m not hating.”

He raises his eyebrow skeptically. “Sure. Just because my answer happens to be the best-”

“Don’t kid yourself for a second-”

“Besides, what did you write down that was so great?” He asks me, sticking his nose in the air. He takes my note and reads it.

“LOVE!?” James blurts out in an insulting manner.

I’m beginning to glare at him more and more as the day goes on.

“Yes,” I respond venomously. “Is there a problem with that?”

“You think love makes the world go ‘round?”



“Yes,” I grit my teeth.

“Hah! Typical woman,” he scoffs. I snap my paper back.

“Love does make the world go round, you nincompoop. With out love people can not be….well, you know…”

“Conceived,” Sirius finishes off.

I turn my head to look at him. He waves his hand off, telling me to continue.

“Yes, that. And if there is none of that, then there are no people. And without people, there is no human race. Then we’d all have to start over again from scratch.”

“It all started with that tiny little organism, swimming all by its lonesome self, in that shallow sea…” Remus props his chin up with his hand. He looks off and sighs. “The little engine that could,” he reminisces.

“Right,” I speak in plainly. “Because you were there.”

Before Remus can give me his rebuttal, Professor Franklin collects our work and gives us the rest of the period off. I’m left staring out the hazy window in silence. I lay my head on the desk and look outside. It’s starting to rain, and I get to see the first drops of water before anyone else. Everybody in class is either chatting or doing extra course work. Jessica’s across the room making small talk with her Muggle Studies partner and James, Sirius, and Remus are babbling away as if the world depends it. Seriously, they see each other all the freaking time and they don’t get bored with each other at all.

My answer was right.
My answer was true.
Love. That’s all it takes to change this world.

Imagine, all the loss in the world and all the unfaithfulness going on, and there are still people that hope for a better tomorrow - in any sense. How can someone be happy without love? Love and happiness are the same thing, just in different forms. Those people, the ones that have nothing but believe in everything… I believe that they make the world go ‘round. If they didn’t have that happiness, that love, they’d be nothing. And there would be nothing. Nothing at all, to live for. I hate to ask the question, but I must ask myself: Am I happy?

I can’t say yes, and I can’t say no. My eyes get blurry.

I’m going back to that deep place in my mind again. Dear Merlin, help me. I don’t want to think about all the thing I’ve lost. The only good thing I have ever gained in my life was Jessica. And damn it, she’s enough for me. My family may be dysfunctional, my sister might hate me, my father might ignore me, and I maybe lost the bestest friend I ever had growing up and he’s sitting right next to me, but I’m going to try and hold my head up.

I remember the days when love was enough. I wish it was still like that, in a way.

It starts to rain hard, and the drops hit the window with a tough tapping sound and I just concentrate on it. It’s funny how the universe sometimes knows what your thinking, and it does things - maybe it’s some sort of higher power we are too ignorant to understand - but it does things, to show you its there. It shows you that it’s there for you. It cares. And for some reason, I feel like the world is crying with me right now.



The cozy comforts of the couch are my niche for the rest of the evening. I’ve begun a new muggle novel and I’m already on page one hundred. Most of the Seventh Years are in the common room, as there is a meeting for students in First Year to Fourth Year in the Great Hall. How they plan to fit that many people and keep them quiet for this long of a meeting is out of my brain capacity. They’re practically toddlers, you can’t even get them to stand still in class. I wonder what they’re talking about.

“What if they’re having the birds and the bees talk?” I ask Jessica, who’s laying next to me on the couch, her feet in my lap, flipping through the television with the remote.

“Hah! I’d love to hear McGonagall talk about that.”

“I highly doubt they’d announce that kind of earth shattering information in a big meeting, let alone including four different student bodies to participate in the sex talk,” I hear Frank pipe up from the secluded corner of the room. He’s facing the window in a recliner chair. I’m pretty sure he rearranged the furniture that way, because that’s where the chess set used to be.

Jessica gets snappy. “I didn’t asked you.”

“I didn’t say you did. Lily was the one that asked that question. Nimrod.”

Her ears goes pink in response, and she punches the buttons of the remote vigorously.

“Ladies,” I begin. “Retract the claws, please.”

“More like retract your penis,” she mumbles quietly.

“JESSICA!” What has gotten into her?!

“I hear that,” Frank mentions from the window.

“What?” she asks me innocently, like she didn’t just viciously insult my brother from another mother.

I ignore her insignificant and rhetorical question with a another question. “What happened to being peaceful?”

“Oh, I’m still peaceful. I consider not being violent a peaceful quality. I didn’t burse into fits of violence. I could have thrown this remote at the back of his head, see, and I didn’t. Thus…I am peaceful.”

“Peace within other people starts with peace within yourself,” I advise. “And when you are fully peaceful with yourself, the easier it is to deal with other people. Hate to break it to you, but you aren’t dealing with other people quite so peacefully.”

Jessica directs her attention back on the TV. “Well peace within yourself is hard to accomplish when a shithead prick is in your presence.”

She lands on a channel that is talking about a koala’s natural habitat.

“And the mother koala viciously attacks…” 

“I don’t think this program is suitable for you at the moment.”

“Rubbish,” she refutes.

“Listen, I just had a very hair-tearing predicament to deal with in Muggle Studies today involving love and broomsticks. The last thing I need to complete my night is you gaining tips on how to seize your enemy by some Queen Koala.”

“I actually don’t think they have just one monarch in this specific animal kingdom. Or is it a pyramid? I think they have some kind of dominance to specific females but I don’t think they have leaders of the pack. Or group? What are koalas labeled under?”

“A group?” I ask off topic. “Do they have koala groups?”

“I don’t know, they seem really vicious. Maybe it’s a herd? Like a herd of sheep?”

“A herd of koalas,” I say flatly.

“Yeah, or like a social system of koalas.”

“And when it feels threatened, the head koala lunges forth to its enemy…” 

“Aha! So there is a some sort of leader,” Jess points to the TV.

“Who said there was just one? Maybe there are two monarchs. Or maybe, it’s an oligarchy and there are a small group of koalas that lead this supposed herd.”

“Maybe it’s like a mafia.”

“Maybe it’s- Er… What?”

“A mafia,” she informs me. “A mafia of koalas. See that one?” She points to the fattest koala known to man. It’s fatter then all the other ones, in fact, I’m pretty sure it’s a grizzly bear by just looking at its body size.

“That animal is seriously obese,” I tell myself.

That’s the Don Koala.”

Frank bursts into such a fit of laughter from across the room that his chair has skidded back two feet.


“The big fat one is the Don. The Don Koala!”

Oh my God. Do you hear this? The Don of the koala mafia. I can’t begin to process how we got to this point.

“The Don Koala? Jess-”

“He’s the Godfather of all koalas,” she says wondrously, her eyes glued to the TV screen.

I try to put some sense into my best friend, but before doing so, I am interrupted by a pair of loudly clacking feet coming down the stairs.

“Hey, guys, have you seen my periwinkle socks?” Peter asks, looking disheveled.

“Peter, what happen?” The boy looks like he’s been fending off a saber tooth tiger. Oh, wait. I didn’t mean that.

Correction: The boy looks like he’s been fending off the Don Koala.

“I tried looking for my favorite pair of periwinkle socks in the boys’ dormitory. My first instinct was to look under Padfoot’s bed, since his bed always has random trinkets and lost laundry and shit like that under it….” He takes a seat on another plushy chair near the sofa and exhales.

“Yeah?” I turn my attention to him now, while my supposed sixteen year old best friend is being captivated by a herd of koalas that have ties to organized crime.

“Well, I kind of ran into his dead pygmy puff.”

“Holy Guacamole!” My face is now contorted in disbelieve and disgust.

“Yeah, it’s quite vicious.”

“Fuck, I don’t know what’s more disgusting, the fact that Sirius had a pygmy puff, or the fact that he had a dead one…under his bloody bed! That’s a God damn health hazard! The slob-” I stop, because I’m too confused to continue. I crinkle my eyebrows at Peter.

“…What did you just say?”

“The thing is as dangerous as a piranha!” he exclaims. “Look at my clothes!” He gestures to his tattered up sleeves and torn collar.

“Do you mean to tell me, that Sirius Black’s dead pygmy puff is no longer dead? Or that his pygmy puff never died to begin with?” I ask dangerously.

“Once the leader of the koala tribe is pestered, it’s anger comes out like a raging bull against its attacker. It is practically unstoppable once it is angered…” 

“Oh, no,” Peter guffaws, “it definitely died last year.”

I almost drop the book in my hands.

“We see the koala as it fights off it’s rival primate for the big bamboo stick…”

“So you’re saying that there’s a pygmy puff that has joined the legion of the undead under Sirius’s four-poster?”

“Er, yes?” he scratches his already tousled hair.

“Sweet!” Frank calls out to us, rising up from his place near the window, making his way towards us. “A zombie pygmy puff!”

“This is dangerous. And beyond normal,” I tell him, my voice raising intervals. There’s a pygmy demon in the boys’ common room! What if it gets loose?

“I know! The thing almost killed me. It had fangs,” he shudders.


“Even sweeter, a vampire pygmy puff!” Frank chuckles, taking the remote from Jessica.

“HEY!” she yells. I try to turn my eyes back on Peter before a full on fight blows out between Frank and Jess. I’ve seen this happen a million times, I can deal with not seeing this one. Fighting is their way of flirting.

“You have to report this!”

“I actually just want my periwinkle socks…so…”


“Awe, no, don’t yell at me-”

“You are going to report this devilish creature living under Sirius’s bed this instant! Before it escapes and starts killing students!”

“Hey, it’s fine, okay? Trust me. As long as it keeps eating Padfoot’s old boxer shorts, she should be fine.”

I’m trying really hard not to throw up. “That’s gross!” I practically shout at him. “And unhygienic.”

“It’s not MY pygmy puff,” he reminds me.

“What does this creature look like?” I ask with curiosity.

“It used to be a pinkish purple color, but now it’s fur is completely black and it had red beady eyes.”

My eyes almost roll to the back of my head.

“Sweet marbles,” I squeak. “There’s a dead magenta pygmy puff in your dormitory.”

“It’s black now,” he corrects.

The common room door opens and Remus comes walking in with his Potions text book in his hands.

“Oi, Pete, you look a wreck mate, what happened?”

“Well I was looking for my periwinkle socks and-”

I get up and point to Peter. “He almost died because of a vengeance seeking vamp-pygmy!”

“A vamp-pig-me?” Remus asks in confusion.

I stomp my foot. Freaking jerk. “No! A vampire pygmy puff! Under your friend’s bed!”

“Oh,” Remus acknowledges, “that one…“ he loosens his tie and takes a seat where Jessica was just sitting.

Because now Frank and her are wrestling for the remote. She just swiftly kicked him in the nuts. And he is momentarily clutching his sad crotch. What’s hilarious about this is that no one is paying attention to the two, because every one is so used to them by now they just don’t give a koala’s ass.

“That one?” I question alarmingly. “What do you mean ‘that one’, Remus? It’s a fanged beast!”

“Don’t worry, it’s dead. I made sure last year. It’s probably just Peter’s imagination.”

Peter gives Remus and look that reads ‘yeah, that’s it, because I enjoy looking like someone’s run me over with a tractor so I can lie about it and blame it on a pygmy puff’.

“I’m not making this up, Moony.”

Remus eyes up his friend. “Seriously, mate?”

“Yeah, it bit apart my shirt,” he says sadly, lifting his torn up sleeves.

“Wow, um.. I thought we killed that thing for sure. What were you looking for again?”

“My periwinkle socks.”

“Oh, I think I saw them down here last night.” Did I just see Remus Lupin’s eyes shift?

“Really!?” Peter slides out of his chair and dives under the coffee table.

I turn to Remus. “Must you?” I ask impossibly.

“Yes,” he says plainly.

“Get him off the ground.”

“Nope,” he answers.

“His socks aren’t down here, are they?”


“You’re going to hell for this, aren’t you?”


The portrait hole opens again followed by Sirius Black. Finally!

“You! Because of you and your lamentable lack of hygiene, your pygmy puff, which is back from the dead by the way, has just formerly attacked your best friend, who just so happens to be very gullible.”

Sirius blinks and sits down in the chair Peter was just occupying before Remus decided to be a jackass.

“Who’s she talking about, Moony?”

“Wormtail,” Remus informs him, not looking up from his book.

“Peter? Yeah, the git’s really gullible.”

“He’s in the same room, you know,” I say snidely.

Sirius pokes Peter lightly with his foot.

“Oomph,” is all we hear from Peter, who is now searching under the carpet for his socks. Sirius’s little kick sent Peter to the ground, no longer on all fours, but on all front.

“Oops, sorry, mate,” Sirius calls down.

Peter raises his hand up to signal it’s okay.

“I don’t know where to begin! Do I start with: What is this fascination he has with his periwinkle socks? Or, Why the hell do you have a dead pygmy puff under your bed?”

Sirius sighs and rolls his pupils to the heavens. He reclines back and looks at me. “Oh, young grasshopper. You know nothing.”

“Obviously,” I state. “Get rid of that creature! I’ll be damned if I find some black demonic pygmy puff staring at me while I sleep. If that thing escapes-”

“It won’t,” he assures.

Pfft. “But if it does-”

“It won’t.”

I start grinding my teeth together. Cut me off one more time. A gauge in the eyes, that’s all it’ll take.

“As long as I keep feeding it my dirty undies, it should be okay for at least another three months. After that, we’ll take care of it. And I promise you’ll be the first one I call, alright?”

I throw him a fake smile. “Can’t wait,” I say, dripping with sarcasm. Just ONE eye gauge…

What a day. Not only did I discover about his demonic animal/pet living under his bed (or should I say residing in? Because it’s dead, so it’s not exactly ‘living’ anywhere), but I have also discovered that Sirius had apparently known about this for a while now. How disturbing. Imagine if someone told you a dead rat was under your bed, or worse, a vampire rat! Imagine leaving it there for months, giving it your dirty underwear to eat?

This is me throwing up.



Will those two ever quit it?

“What are they doing, making out?” Sirius asks mockingly to no one in particular.

Jessica stops what she’s doing, kicks Frank off of her, and throws the fat remote dead on point blank. It hits Sirius Black square in the forehead.

“SON OF A BATCH OF COOKIES!” He bellows, gripping his nose in pain.

I look over at Jess. “That was very koala of you,” I say, shocked at what’s just happen in the course of five seconds. She smiles at me, but a venomous glare is still in her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“You’re a big fat pirate hooker!”

“Oh, really?” I hear Frank mumble, gripping his stomach in pain from Jessica’s blow. He’s still on the floor, almost crippled. And he’s still going to stick up for her, isn’t he?

“What are you going to do, slap her in public?” He quotes to Sirius, making a reference to what Ron Burgundy's character said in Anchorman. I’m the only person in the room who has seen this muggle film, so I burse out laughing and everyone gives me weird looks. Except Frank. He just winks and me a gives me a knowing expression.

Sirius is panting while whipping out his pocket mirror.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jessica scoffs, looking at Sirius in a pathetic manner. “You have a pocket-sized mirror?”

“You just threw a remote the size of a small child at my face! I could sue!”

“Please do,” Jess says in a bitchy tone. She crosses her arms and picks herself up from the ground.

“You already punch me in the fucking face, you ignorant broad. Do you know what another punch could do to my remarkable face?”


“Children, settle down,” is all that comes out of Remus as he flips a page behind his hardcover text book. He’s doing homework. How can he do his homework when this kind of havoc is going on? I wish I had his stamina.

Sirius examines his bone structure in the mirror, holding it up and inspecting his cheek bones and nose for any other possible injuries. “Only you would injure a handicapped man!” He accuses Jessica.

“Oh, please, you’re not handicapped.”

“I’m still recovering! I should boil you in a large vat of lava.”

“Is that a threat?” Jessica walks closer, Sirius instantly backs up out of reflex. But he snaps back and raises his mirror if not higher than normal. He sticks his nose in the air.

“I don’t need to threaten people. My looks are revenge enough.”

Right. Because everyone wishes they were as beautiful as you, I forgot.

“I don’t know what Emma sees in you,” Jessica informs us, voicing her biased opinion.

“Well I know one of them,” he replies with arrogance.

“You can cross cockiness off the list,” I interfere.

“I hope you don’t mean your ugly looks.”

“What ugly looks? I’m one hundred percent luscious.”

I could laugh…if this wasn’t really happening.

“What lusciousness?”

“It’s everywhere,” he motions his hands around his face.

“What are we talking about?” Peter pops up out of the carpet, after being MIA for quite some time.

“Padfoot’s ugliness,” Remus tells him.

“Oh.” Peter tries to get a clue in on what this is, but he has no idea.

“I am not ugly! Where is this ugliness you speak of? Or better yet, the evidence of my ugliness?” Sirius continues.

“Dude, you’re holding it in your hands. It’s evidence enough.”


“Look at your hand,” I clue Sirius in. He is so daft.

He holds up his mirror. “This?”

“Yeah,” she snaps. “The ugliness is right there. Look in the mirror,” she responds, with a little bit of edge.

Sirius smirks. “I have looked in the mirror, and do you know what I saw?” But he doesn’t give her time to answer. “Too much sexiness in one face.”

He’s grinning like an idiot. Jess is rolling her eyes. Remus chuckles secretly and gets back to his Potions homework. Frank just inhales disappointedly and picks up the remote that’s still on the ground. Peter looks lost since he only heard half of the conversation, all because he was looking for his periwinkle socks.

Please don’t let me like these guys.

Author's Note: Thoughts? And sorry about any grammatical errors, I barely edited this before I submitted it in the queue - I wanted to update as fast as possible for you guys! I personally enjoyed the bit with Jessica giving Sirius head trauma :D If you have any questions or comments about this fic, either leave it somewhere in your review or go over to my MTA in the forums :] I love answering questions about this fic.

Oh, and one more thing - alot of people have been asking me how my updating process usually goes, and I'm not sure if any of you have either not been on my author's page or not, but I have a blog, and on that blog I keep people up to date about my updates and how my stories are coming along. So if you want to follow me during my updating process, just take a small visit at my blog once and a while =] Thanks!

Chapter 27: Clueless And A Tad Too Sassy
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The muscles coming out of his school shirt basically call out to me. It’s as if we’re walking through a long tunnel, but in reality, I’m walking through a large hallway and he‘s at the opposite end. Everything is in slow motion. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately, so everything’s making me kind of fuzzy. But this, this is just torturous. He has his schoolbag across his shoulders with his collar loose but not unkempt. His tie is undone slightly and his shirt sleeves are rolled up lazily to his elbow. Every step I take echoes in my ears; as if a large rock being thrown against a wall is accompanying my every step. My breathing isn’t necessarily picking up, but slowing down. I can feel it. Either something’s wrong with me because of my sleep deprivation, or James is doing something on purpose to get me to stare at him. I think it’s a combination of both.

It’s like a scene in a film where the guy and girl are walking at the opposite ends of the hallway. The only difference between what’s happening right now and what happens in the movies, is that the climax of the scene has not occurred yet: the meet in the middle.

I’ve only just seen him at the end of the hall, yet I see him as if he’s under a magnifying glass. And I can’t help but just look at him laugh and walk with his friends. He seems happy. But there’s something that doesn’t seem right. Jessica and Emma are talking, just like Remus and Sirius are. And yet we’re both pretending to be in the conversation. I’m walking emotionless with my friends like a zombie, and he’s trying to pretend he’s in on the joke his friends are talking about. I hope to heavens that he takes a right turn soon. I don’t know what’s come over me all of a sudden, but it’s not normal. Well, not normal for me, anyways. Should I be looking at him like this? Seems like I can’t take the heat. Because I feel like I should be sweating.

Awkwardly enough, I don’t mind it.

He bites his lip and he slows down his walk only slightly, to look at his feet as he walks. He doesn’t see me at the end of the hallway, nor does he know I’m watching him. I’m getting nearer, closer to him. It’s a long corridor, but the corridors of Hogwarts can only run for so long…

There could be many teenage flicks that could accompany this headline, preferably from the 1980’s - but I’ll leave that for you to play with on your own. I have some larger things to tackle at the moment.

I hear his clacking feet. James grazes his somewhat scruffy 3 o’clock shadow in a hazy manner before sighing, and looking up. I can only imagine what I look like. A combination of a ginger-haired garden gnome, maybe? Without the hat, of course. And the midget/elf height thing. I don’t remember the last time I wore makeup and I fell asleep with my hair wet last night, so it’s loose and tussled, basically wavy all around. Messy and a bit tangled, but manageable. I should have probably thought about dabbing concealer under my dark circles. I like to call them my bag(gy) lady eyes. If it wasn’t for the uniform, people would think I was homeless.

I wish he didn’t look so…relaxed, poised, and well rested. I know that there’s a part of him that is unsettling. Like me. It’s just affecting me more. And all the while I keep going back and forth between thoughts of what he was to me and what I thought of him throughout the years, he doesn’t take his eyes off of me. The bag on my shoulder no longer feels like a thousand pounds. I don’t see any other students around to pester or annoy me with their shoving and yelling. I see him looking at me and I almost stop walking all together. He bites his lip as a reaction to me, probably my looks. Maybe he’s having a laugh? At the destruction he’s caused? Hell, I’d boast about it if I was him. Not gonna lie.

Alas, he looks tired too, when I look at him. I know this because I’m closer to him now then I was two steps ago. I’m counting down the feet its going to take until it happens. Until we pass and meet each other half way. He’s looking me straight in the eyes now. What else is there to do? Do I look away and push through his shoulder, or do I keep looking at him as if nothing’s happened this year? It’s been a week since the last time I’ve talked to him. I feel as if something’s missing when I don’t see him, I hate to admit it.

But then I shake if off, and realize I have no attachment to him. Hell, I don’t even LIKE HIM. So why do I feel like I’ve lost something, when it reality I lost nothing? It’s ridiculous. I only just end up angering myself in the process. Making myself feel like a blinking idiot. Is it ethical to have fights with yourself? Because I’m really pissing myself off.

His eyebrows shift slightly, and I can almost move my cheek to his, we’re so close. The meet in the middle. It’s happening in slow motion and I can’t handle it. Nanosecond by nanosecond is passing and we do nothing but stare at each other. It’s like a mix between hate, frustration, and awe. In other words, a very complicated look. It’s storming outside and we’re all headed to the last class of the day. Imagine how awake we still are from our early morning classes to have enough energy for these stupid looks! I can’t take my eyes off of James, though, and he can’t seem to care enough to say anything. I’m tired of initiating everything. It’s a hassle.

The fact that I want so badly to just talk to him is bizarre beyond anything. One second he’s the cocky Potter I know and hate. The next, he’s this strange boy who’s trying to figure me out. I don’t get it. Maybe it’s a reaction from being so close to him when we were children. He used to be my best friend, you know? Maybe that’s taking a toll on me…? Eh. I just can’t fathom how I’ve been feeling lately.

We stare at each other for another three nanoseconds, and just as I’m about to turn my head away, I swear to Merlin, he looks down at my lips. I let out a little gasp and he notices; I turn around just in time to go completely red in the face and scurry off like Madam Pince when she catches two people snogging in the library.

Right at the end of my head turning away from him, he had looked back at me, square in the eyes. I saw it from the corner of my pupil. I swear on my Aunt Betsey’s famous Pumpkin Pie cupcakes.

Why did he do that? WHY? He has a girlfriend. James and I had a snog…one time. Just once! And to be honest, it wasn’t even by choice. And that was way before all of this Leslie Toudren business.

I’d love to wake up one day without regretting what I did or didn’t do yesterday, you know? It’s like that feeling, repeatedly. I wish I knew how to fix or not fix what ever the hell is happening. I feel like we’re poker chips that were thrown in the air. Our velocity has changed to zero and we are not moving at all. As if we are dangling in mid-air, and we’re just waiting for the fall.


Translation: What the fuck does this all mean?


I walk in to Potions and my bag falls off my shoulder before I even reach my desk.

“Red,” Sirius greets.

“Black,” I reply.

He smiles coyly, his eyes twinkling. He leans back on his chair and props his feet up on the desk. As usual.

The storm outside is still going on. It’s thundering more than it was an hour ago. I hope there isn’t some sort of legitimate weather threat announcement at dinner. I can only imagine not going to sleep again for the billionth time in a row because of thunder. Every night…every night there’s always something that’s stopping me from resting. I need to buy ear plugs, that’s the solution. Indeed, I have decided - I am buying pink ear plugs at Hogsmeade this weekend.

“So how’ve you been?” Sirius nonchalantly asks me. I turn to him and don’t even bother to push away the hair covering my face.

“…that’s a good look for you. I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then?” He raises his eyebrows enchantingly. What’s he happy about?

“Get that smile off your face. It’s creepy.”

He smiles, his teeth brilliantly white. “Why should I? I’m happy.” Sirius rests his hands behind his head. Class starts in 2 minutes and he’s ready to get comfortable to take a snooze already! His usual time is the last ten minutes of class. Not before class.

“I’m glad you’re happy,” I say flatly. I continue to burying my head in my arms. My cheek is pressed against my desk like a child at Christmas who’s staring at a toy on the other side of the Plexiglas.

“I believe that,” he says in monotone.

My head stays buried and I don’t say anything, so Sirius Black just continues.

“Why, of course I’ll tell you why I’m happy! I’m glad you asked-”

This is me rolling my eyes.

“- because it’s pretty big news.”

“Oh, really,” is what I regurgitate boringly, except it comes out incoherent because half my face is paralyzed by my oak desk. He doesn’t care.

“Yep,” he responds fruitfully. “I got asked to spend Christmas with Emma.”

I feel a tiny drop of saliva land on my desk.

“Oh!” I try to sound happy and chipper, but I don’t even feel the need to lift my head up. “That’s actually really nice,” I muffle. I take a deep breath, as the lack of oxygen through my jungle of arms is becoming a problem, and finish by saying, “The fact that her parents are thinking about this ahead of time is a good thing. It’s a solid month and a half away, Christmas, and they must really want to meet you.”

“Yep!” He speaks even more fruitfully this time. “I’m really excited. I usually spend time with Prongs during Christmas break, but now that I actually have a stable girlfriend, he totally understood when I said I’d go with Emma.”

I just swallow my saliva and continue breathing like a naked mole rat.

“Not that you care or anything,” Sirius wheedles. “But I just thought I’d share that with you.”

“I feel honored.”

He sighs and turns to me, and I just know him enough to sense he’s doing so. I feel him staring at my ear. I don’t know why, but I feel a tickling on my earlobe.

“Tickle, tickle!”

Oh, never mind. That’s just Sirius tickling my ear for real. No big deal.

I swat his hand away.

“At least try to be mischievous when you tickle someone,” I snap.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you. There’s a puddle being formed below your face and it seems to me like you’re drowning.”

“Continue with your damn story, then.” That way I don’t have to talk.

“That was it, really.”

I raise my head up and it’s like I’ve woken up at 5 am in the morning again, before turning back around, flipping my pillow to the cold side, and going back to sleep. I wipe my drool with my sleeve and I sit up straight. Well, straighter. Our Potions professor comes in, claiming that he’s misplaced his hair burning formula vials in his ‘other’ suitcase (the ‘other’ suitcase is what we use to describe Slughorn’s suitcase of death, since he only puts really bad marks in that one, es