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Painful Memories by Lily_James4ever

Format: Song fic
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 2,391

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

Genres: Drama, Romance
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Arthur, Charlie, Molly, Percy, Voldemort, Fred, Ginny
Pairings: Ron/Hermione

First Published: 07/17/2006
Last Chapter: 08/03/2008
Last Updated: 08/03/2008

Banner- lovelyMarauders

Memories of the past. Hopes for the future. The love of your life. Gone forever. One moment can change everything. Who you are, your purpose in life, or even if you want to live at all. This is Hermione Granger's story of love and loss.

Chapter 1: What Hurts the Most
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These are all JK. Rowlings characters, not mine. 

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It was a cold Christmas Eve. The wind was howling and the clean white snow was falling slowly inch by inch as Hermione Granger looked out the window of her small flat just outside of London. It was a beautiful day, but the tears were slowly running down her freckly pink cheeks. Christmas was always a hard time for her after the last battle. Voldemort had been gone for 3 years, but the thought of that fateful day always brought tears to her eyes. That was the day she lost the love of her life, Ronald Weasley. Even though his death killed her inside,there was one memory that never failed to bring a smile to her face; the day that Ron told her he loved her.



It was the week before the beginning of 7th year, and the trio was very excited. Well, at least Hermione was. Ron and Harry were sticking to procrastinating, even though they took their N.E.W.T. tests this year. This was just a normal day. They were headed to get their school supplies, but then the morning took an unexpected twist. Ron was once again complaining to Harry about his "love life".

"Ron why dont you just ask her out?" Harry asked his best friend Ron.

"Because, she doesn't like me like I like her!" Ron said.

"How will you know if you havent asked her?" Harry said smirking.

"Well, I heard her talking to Ginny about some guy she likes. So there you go. She likes some other bloke. Is that enough evidence for you, Harry?" Ron said flopping back on his bed. 

"Did you hear a name?" Harry asked.

"No, but-"

"It could very well be you, you git!" Harry said slamming a pillow into Ron's face.

"HARRY! What is your problem?" Ron yelled throwing a pillow back at Harry.

"Your being bloody stupid, just ask her!" Harry told him.

"Ask who what? Hermione said coming through the door with a smile on her face.

Harry smiled and said,"Well like they say, no better time than the present!" Harry practically hopped of the bed and skipped out of the room. Ron had a scowl on his face.

"What's the matter? Harry seems really happy and you're like, the opposite." Hermione asked sitting next to Ron on the bed. 

"It's nothing, Harry's being a git as usual." Ron told Hermione.

"Oh, I'm not going to buy that, what is really going on? I know you well enough to know it isn't nothing. You can tell me anything." Hermione said taking his hand. Ron's ears immediately turned bright red, and he had to suppress his happiness when he felt the warmth of her hand.

"Well, you have to promise not to laugh. And, you're my best friend right, no matter what?" Ron asked. 

"Of course. Unless, well..." she started saying something but then stopped.

"Unless what?"

"You can't laugh either. Anyway, you're going first. So tell me what's up." Hermione insisted. 

"Well, I, Ilikeyou." He said his words getting mushed together.

"Come again?"

"I like you." He said hesitantly. Hermione's eyes grew wide and she let go of his hand.

"What?" she asked in astonishment. 

"Bloody hell! I told Harry you didn't like me. I feel like such a git now." Ron said getting ready to leave the room. 

"Ron wait!"He turned around right before Hermione's lips crashed into his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepend the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back with as much force as she kissed him. This was 5 years of pent up emotion letting itself free. They were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. They turned around and saw Harry beaming a huge smile at them. Hermione blushed and Ron's ears flooded with color. 

"You can tell me later. I'll let you two have some alone time." Harry said rushing back downstairs. 

"I guess that means you like me too?" Ron said holding her close. 

"No, that means I kind of love you." Hermione said her cheeks getting even brighter in color.

"I love you, too Hermione." He said gently kissing her on the lips.

“Now how about some breakfast!” said Ron.

“Always thinking of your stomach aren't we Ronald?" he nodded with a smile on his face. "All right, let’s go.” said Hermione taking his hand and leading the way downstairs.

Now, every Weasley was staying at the Burrow (except Percy) because the preparations for Bill and Fleur’s wedding were in full swing. The dress robes had been ordered, the plans for the cake were ready, and the chairs and small platform were set up in the backyard. Ron and Hermione walked downstairs hand-in-hand, coming face-to-face to a table with seven Weasleys, Harry, and Fleur. When they entered the kitchen, the room erupted with cheers, clapping, and loud whistling. Fred and George were screaming “About bloody time!” and Mrs. Weasley looked on the verge of tears. Ron and Hermione both turned a bright shade of red, but both were smiling at the same time.

Fred asked, “So, who admitted it first.”

“Yeah, I reckon Ron probably couldn't stand it anymore. ” said George.

“No, I bet it was Hermione. She always has perfect timing.” said Ginny.

Ron and Hermione stood there, dumbstruck by all of the questions.

“Well!” said Fred, George and Ginny.

"Ron kind of mumbled it out at some point." Hermione said.

"Before or after you two started snogging?" Harry asked. Ron's ears were bright red once again as the table erupted in laughter.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Hermione remembered that day fondly as one of the best days of her life. She picked up her coat and went for a walk. She flinched as the cold winter wind hit her face. The tears in her eyes weren’t visible underneath the snow blowing in the wind. She always went to visit Ron on holidays. She never visited the Weasleys anymore. She hadn’t even visited Harry. The memories were too painful, and the wounds were still too deep. She was always welcome at the Weasley’s home, but she hadn’t seen them since that fateful night.


Ron and Hermione were at the Burrow getting ready to go on another date. Except this time, Hermione was completely clueless as to where they were going.

“Where are we going Ron!?” asked Hermione.

“You’ll see.” said Ron with a slight grin on his face.

“Can’t you at least tell me where it is?” asked Hermione.

“It’s in Hogsmeade, so apparate to the Three Broomsticks and we’ll walk from there.”

“All right, I’ll see you there.” Hermione gave Ron a light kiss on the lips and apparated with a ‘crack.’ Ron followed her.

When they arrived, they saw something that they weren’t prepared for. There was screaming, and outside the Three Broomsticks spells could be seen flying in every direction. “Death eaters!!” screamed Hermione.

” That’s pretty much all of the guys from the office too! I think this is it ‘Mione, the Last Battle.” said Ron hugging Hermione and giving her a kiss on the forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” said Hermione. “Let’s go. I think we should try and find Harry.

“Yeah, I think he made need us, but I hope we’re not too late.” said Ron.

As they went outside, they found Hogsmeade it total mayhem. Then they saw him, Voldemort. The tall, pale skinned man in the black robe was unmistakable. Next to him was a rather tall thin man with untidy black hair, Harry. They were dueling up close to the Shrieking Shack.

“Ron look!” cried Hermione.

“Come on!” yelled Ron.

When they reached the Shrieking Shack, they found many of their friends outnumbered, so they were glad they had gotten there in time. Tonks alone was fighting off three death eaters. Remus could be seen dueling Peter, and at least one other person whom Hermione and Ron didn’t know. The Weasley’s could be seen fighting off death eaters, but overall it looked as if they were all faring pretty well. Harry looked as if he was doing fairly well against Voldemort. It looked as if Voldemort was getting weaker.

“Hey, Voldie, it seems as if you’re losing your touch.” said Harry.

“How dare you call me this ‘Voldie.’ It seems as if you’re a little too confident of your abilities to defeat me little Harry. Maybe this will calm you down a bit.” said Voldemort. He didn’t point his wand at Harry. Instead he pointed his wand at Ron, who was fighting a death eater close by. “Avada Kedavra!” yelled Voldemort. Then in a flash of green light, Ron Weasley fell to the ground. He was dead.

“Ron!” cried Harry and Hermione.

“You’ll pay for that!” said Harry. The hate that Harry had toward Voldemort for killing his parents, Sirius, and now his best friend gave him the power to do what Voldemort didn't think he could. Harry said “ Avada Kedavra!” and Voldemort was gone forever. The Death Eaters were quickly defeated after that. Many of them had willingly given up the fight, knowing that their master was gone. Even though there was still much going on around her, Hermione’s world came to a standstill. The love of her life was gone.

Hermione stood at Ron's grave and placed the flowers she had brought next to the tombstone. She sat down on the grass as the tears started flowing down her cheeks like they always did. They had dreams of a life and family together, but they were all ripped away in one moment. She traced some of the words on the tombstone. Beloved son, brother, and friend. Hermione could think of another thing that it should read. She pulled the ring out of her pocket and slipped it on her finger. Fiance.


Ron fell to the ground. Voldemort had killed him. There was no time for Hermione to tell him she loved him, that she would always love him no matter what. In a matter of seconds, Hermione’s world was flipped upside down.

“Ron!” screamed Hermione. She fell to the ground. “No! No, you can’t be dead!” she lifted his head and began to stroke his flaming red hair. “Wake up! Get up, please!” She then saw something fall out of the pocket of his robes. She pulled it out. It was a small black velvet box. She gasped and then opened it, and saw the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. She thought ”That’s why we went out, so he could propose!” “No! No!” she cried even louder. Harry ran to her side.

“Hermione, h…he’s gone. We need to take him t…to St. Mungo’s.” choked Harry. Just then Fred, George, Charlie, Bill, Mr.Weasley, and Ginny came over to see what had happened. “Oh no!” screamed Ginny, as she cried into Harry’s shoulder. Then something unusual could be seen. Every Weasley had silent tears streaming down their cheeks. George had gotten Hermione up, and she was crying into his shoulder, the most distraught out of all of them. She slowly tucked the ring into her pocket, not intending to share what Ron’s plans were. She didn’t want to tell them for the fear that they would never have a moments peace, and that the pity would be overwhelming. At the moment all she wanted was time to think. Think of Ron, her family, her future. She was doubtful that she even had a future without Ron. 

What hurts the most
was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

After Ron’s funeral, she never visited the Weasley’s, or Harry. Every time she saw the Weasley’s, or even another person with red hair, she thought of her Ron. Even when she visited places they had been together, like Hogsmeade, or Diagon Alley, her eyes went misty. When she saw Harry she would think of all the time they had spent together at school, and all the adventures they had together.

She had even quit her job as a healer, unable to set foot in St. Mungo’s, remembering the day he was brought there to be prepared for his funeral. She decided to go and live in the muggle world, to get as far as possible from her past. She spent many of her nights looking at pictures of her and Ron, reminiscing on the good times. She never wanted to forget him; she wouldn’t let herself get over his death. There was no comfort for her. She knew she would never love again.

She got up, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She whispered, ”Happy Christmas Ron, I love you, always and forever.” She turned and walked away into the snow blowing in the wind. She walked away still as lost and confused as she was when he died. She didn’t know what life had in store for her, if she even had a meaningful future anymore. She was lonely and miserable; she had lost the love of her life, and her reason to live.  

The Song is "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts.