You are viewing a story from

It Was Only a Kiss by Radcliffe_PotterFan319

Format: Novel
Chapters: 30
Word Count: 143,326

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Genres: Drama, Romance, Angst
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OtherCanon
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC

First Published: 06/01/2006
Last Chapter: 11/12/2006
Last Updated: 11/12/2006

I was dared to kiss Sirius Black. So, I did, no big deal. It was only a kiss... COMPLETED

Chapter 1: Metamorphosis
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer:I own nothing except for the characters you don't know and the plot. The title of this story is lyrics from the Killer's song "Mr. Brightside" :D Song lyrics is Metamorphosis by Hilary Duff.

It Was Only A Kiss
Chapter One

Watching the butterfly
Go towards the sun
I wonder what I will become (I wonder what I'll become)

Whatever this is
Whatever I'm going through
Come on and give me a kiss
Come on, I insist
I'll be something new
A metamorphosis

--Hilary Duff "Metamorphosis"

I was only eight years old when I moved into my aunt and uncle’s house. My dad had just passed away from a Muggle disease called Cancer. He refused to have magic heal it. If he was to die, then it was his time. I believed he wanted to be with mum. She died five years ago after giving birth to my brother, Jacob.

My Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott were happy to have my brother and me. They couldn’t have kids of their own and treated us like we were really theirs. Sometimes, I think they actually forgot we were their niece and nephew. I loved them like my parents and on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I would give them presents before heading to the cemetery to lay flowers or something for my parents.

When I first moved into the giant mansion, I was scared. Magic was everywhere and there were so many rooms. Much different then what my dad had us living in for five years. He was a Muggle and so I was not used to so much magic. My room was huge and frightening at night and the yard was so big it was intimidating. Like, if I walked out too far, I’d lose sight of the house and never find my way back.

I remembered standing in the driveway holding my brother’s hand. He was only five and most likely more frightened then me. We were just gazing at the place that we were to call home. That was when I first met James Potter.

Really, I was surprised that a kid my age and was a wizard, lived next door. He was riding a toy broomstick when I first saw him. His toes brushing the top of the grass and going no higher. His messy jet black hair and those glasses that hid his pretty, hazel eyes were just like his father’s. He wouldn’t have noticed me if I had giggled when he crashed into the side of the house. He stood up, looking dazed and spotted me. He laughed, too, and came running over.

“My name is James!” he said eagerly.

“Libby,” I had replied.

“You’re my new best friend, okay?” James asked grabbing my hand and pulling me towards his house.

We were best friends after that, too. We did almost everything together and was closer then anything. I was the sister James never had and he was the brother I wish I could have. We thought that even at Hogwarts, no one could split us up. The day we got our letters we were jumping about and in Diagon Alley, we couldn’t get to a store fast enough. We met Remus Lupin then. James accidently knocked him over in Flourish and Blots. The poor kid had so many books, he was almost crushed. But that didn’t matter, because James adopted him as a friend, too—in the same minute.

Then, the train ride came.

“Mum, what would happen if we missed the train?” James had asked as we hurried across King’s Cross to Platform 9 3/4.

“You would miss an exciting part of your first year, but we’d get you to school somehow,” Sandra Potter explained. We stopped in front of the brick wall between Platforms 9 and 10. I gulped. How were we supposed to get through without hurting ourselves?

“Who wants to go first?” my Aunt Becky asked. James and I looked at one another.

“I will!” James finally said. He pushed his trolley to face the wall. Then paused, “I just ran straight at it?”

“Excuse me!” someone called. We all looked up and saw a pretty red head with amazing green eyes pushing a trolley our way. She had a trunk and owl and looked nervous and confused. A woman and man who resembled the girl were following her closely, looking confused.

“Yes?” Becky asked when the girl had reached us.

“Um, well, I’m having trouble . . . ” the girl’s voice trailed off and looked at her owl, to mine.

“You need to get on the Platform?” James asked in this dreamy voice. He had this goofy grin on. I giggled and elbowed James in the ribs. He came out of his trance and blushed, running a hand through his hair, something he only did when nervous.

“Well, yes. I’m Muggle-born. The process was never explained to me,” the girl said. Sandra smiled.

“All you have to do is run through the wall between nine and ten. Sadly, Muggles cannot get on the Platform themselves,” she said, looking at the girl’s parents. They quickly said good-bye to their daughter with words of encouragement and I love yous.

“Okay, James, go ahead,” his mother said once the girl’s parents stepped
aside. James looked at the wall and then looked at the girl. He got this cocky grin on, one I’ve seen too much, and started running towards the wall when no Muggles were looking. Then he was gone. The girl gasped.

“Libby, do you want to go?” Sandra asked. I nodded and followed James onto the platform. I was amazed when I slid through the wall and was standing before the scarlet Hogwarts express. James was suddenly by my side.

“Did you see that girl?” he asked, his eyes glazing over, “She was so perfect,”

“Aw, how cute, little Jimmy is in love,” I cooed. James blushed again. Twice in five minutes. He never blushes.

My aunt and his mother were by us seconds later. After Sandra convinced her son that the girl had gotten on the Platform just fine, we started our way towards the train to find a capartment. I don’t think my aunt wanted to let me go and Sandra was crying that her baby boy is growing up. I noticed a rather good looking boy, most likely my age, snickering. I saw that the woman who was most likely his mother, staring at Sandra Potter like she was a disgusting disease. I glared at the boy and he caught my eye. He turned away, no longer laughing.

The train whistle blew and James and I hurried onto the train, pulling our trunks as we went. They were quite heavy. We found a capartment with the red headed girl and Remus Lupin and sat down. Waving to our guardians as the train
started moving. Then we sat back.

“Hi, I’m Libby Cullen,” I said holding my hand out towards the red head.
She smiled.

“Lily Evans,” she replied, “I love your hair,”

I made a face. I always had this really curly hair. Sometimes, like it was then, my curls would poof out making my head look three times it’s size. I hated it then, of course, I learned to tame it after a while and would never trade my curls for anything. Maybe my eyesight though. I have these really thick and large glasses. They never stayed on my face no matter what I did, and would always fly off my face. Nothing kept my glasses on.

“I’m James Potter,” James said pushing me and grabbing Lily’s hand. He kissed it, “Pleasure to meet you,”

“Um, you too,” Lily said, pulling her hand from James’s.

“Excuse James,” I said, “He just wants to impress you,”

James scowled at me and ran a hand through his hair once more and I grinned. I looked at Remus, “How have you been?”

“Fine. I fell ill the other day though. I was afraid I wouldn’t get to come to Hogwarts,” Remus said with a weak smile. He still looked a little pale.

The capartment door suddenly opened. I looked up to see the boy that was laughing at James before. I glared at him, but couldn’t help but notice that he
was even better looking up close.

“Can I sit here?” he asked, “Everywhere else is full,”

“Yeah,” James said moving over for the boy. The boy sat down and crossed his arms over his chest. We all sat in an awkward silence.

“I’m James,” James finally said holding out his hand, “James–”

“Potter,” the boy said, “I know,”

“Yeah. Well, this is Libby Cullen, Lily Evans, and Remus Lupin,” James said
pointing to each of us. We all waited for the boy to say who he was, but he just stared at each of us.

“You’re supposed to state your name, now,” I said crossing my arms over my own chest. The boy looked at me. He lingered on my glare for a while and then he smiled. It was a very nice smile, I noted.

“Sirius,” he said shortly.

He never told us his last name and we didn’t bother asking. Once he smiled, it was like all the tension in the capartment broke. We started talking and laughing like old friends. Of course, Lily was a bit shy, especially with James asking her if he could check her out without his library card and if it hurt when she fell from heaven. We played a small game of truth or dare. It was difficult since we couldn’t do many dares. We didn’t know each other well enough. So mostly, we learned a lot about each other. I was friends with Lily by the time the train came to a stop. This Sirius, though, I wasn’t sure of. He was making fun of me most of the ride.

James didn’t seem to like this boy much, either. Every one of Sirius’s jokes was directed at me almost. He made fun of my glasses, which was an insult to James too, who wore a more stylish pair. He made fun of my hair, which I had tried hard to make presentable this morning. He made fun of my clothes, which were normal Muggle clothes. He made fun of the way I talk, laugh, smile, and even the way I would snap at him. I hated him by the end of the ride and I never hate people.

“What was that guy’s problem?” I asked James when we were in the boats that Hagrid led us to. Lily and Remus were chatting excitedly in front of us.

“I don’t know, but he seemed to think everything about you was funny,” James shrugged, “Don’t worry, I saw him standing with his mother on the Platform. He’s a Black. I won’t be surprised if he’s in Slytherin,”

“Welcome to Hogwarts,” a stern looking witch with black hair pulled into a tight bun said, “I am Professor Mcgonagall. You will join the feast momentarily, but first you must be sorted into one of the four houses; Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin. Your house will be like your family during your stay at Hogwarts. You will spend free time in your house common room and attend classes with your house peers. The sorting will begin shortly,” Mcgonagall disappeared for a moment. In the corner of my eye I saw Sirius looking a bit sick. He smirked when he saw me looking and I glared, turning my face right at him.

Mcgonagall came back and led the way into the Great Hall. I will never forget that feeling when I walked in. All the other classes watching with curiosity and the ceiling. I love that ceiling. The night sky was beautiful and clear, stars
shined brightly in the moonless sky. I grinned at James and he grinned back.

We stopped and the hat sang a song. I listened with interest and when it ended, names began to be called.

“Anderson, Morgan,”

A girl with blond hair walked forward with a bounce in her step. She went to Ravenclaw.

“Austin, Cole,”

A boy with light brown hair went up. He looked nervous, but when the hat shouted for him to join the Hufflepuff table, he looked so relieved.

Names went on. Then, “Black, Sirius”

Sirius went up and sat down. I noticed he threw a nervous glance at the Slytherin table. I noticed the Slytherins looked excited and all the other tables looked at one another with . . . fear? Fear of what, another Slytherin? Or was it because the Noble House of Black was one of the darkest families in the Wizarding World? Sirius Black was seated on the bench for the longest time so far. Slytherins began whispering to each other.

“GRYFFINDOR!” the hat yelled.

The entire hall went still. The Slytherins were glaring at Sirius Black and the Gryffindors looked like they didn’t know whether to clap or gasp. I saw the shocked and fearful look in Sirius’s face as he walked to the table acting like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. It took a minute for Mcgonagall to remember she had to call out the next name. Daniel Burns, who went to Slytherin. Then Ben Carlson who went to Ravenclaw. I zoned out until—

“Cullen, Libby,”

My mouth suddenly went dry and my insides disappeared. James gave me an encouraging smile and I walked forward. Was it just me, or were my shoes squeaking really loudly? I had a chocolate frog on the train, what if chocolate was on my face? James would have told me, wouldn’t he? My glasses fell, but I caught them and pushed them back on my face. I told myself to calm down as I took a seat on the stool and Mcgonagall put the hat on my head.

“Hmm, Cullen?” the hat said, it startled me, but then I relaxed, “I remember your mother. She was a bright witch. In Ravenclaw. You would do well there, but you have a lot of your Aunt’s bravery and loyalty, too. Yet, Hufflepuff would suit you too. Never will you make it in Slytherin. Clever as you are, it would not do. Now, where to put you? Yes, I know where to put you. I can’t interfere with fate now, can I? You’ll go to . . . GRYFFINDOR!”

I smiled, though confused about that who fate comment, and jumped from the stool. I skipped toward the Gryffindor table and took a seat, shaking hands with other Gryffindors. I watched the rest of the sorting. Lily was sorted into Gryffindor and took a seat next to me. Then Frank Longbottom. Remus came along, too, and then a girl pretty named Kirsten Meyer. And then twins, Susan and Samantha Orrin. They glared at me, Lily, and this Kirsten for some reason as they took a seat. Then came Peter Pettigrew and James. He looked so proud to be sorted in Gryffindor. And then finally, Once the sorting was over, Dumbledore stood up, smiling.

“Welcome back old comer and welcome new comers! I hope you all had an eventful holiday. I won’t bore you with my speech while you’re distracted by your stomachs. So, enjoy!”

Food filled the dished. I pushed my glasses up and started to fill my plate. Peter Pettigrew started eating like his life depended on it.

I can’t tell you what happened while we ate, but by the end of the night. Lily, Kirsten, and me all became friends. We had a lot in common and I knew we were going to be best friends all through Hogwarts. I didn’t say much to James during the feast, but he had somehow started talking to Sirius Black, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew. They were suddenly just as friendly as I was with my new friends.

It was after that first night that things got weird between James and me. Lily hated James till 4th year. She would always drag me away when I was talking to James. Even when she started to return her feelings for James, she wouldn’t admit it till the end of 5th year and that was only to Kirsten and me. So, whenever Lily was around, I doubted to ever get a good conversation out of James without him asking her out or them fighting.

Then there was Black. By the end of first year, he had become the brother James has always wanted. Yes, James and I were still close, but I always tried to avoid Black. James and Black were never apart. So, he got between mine and James’s friendship. I felt bad, but we tried. We kept no secrets from one another. I knew all the ‘Marauders’ secrets and he knew all the secrets between my friends. It kept us closer and we were always there when the other needed someone to talk to.

Like when my first and only boyfriend broke up with me. It was at the end of my 5th year, last year. I still had those stupid glasses and my hair was still hard to tame. He was a year older then me and a Ravenclaw. I thought he was so sweet and we went out for four months. Until he tried to get down my pants and I realized he had used me. He even said as I walked out “The ugly ones always are the ones who’ll go out with anyone.” James kicked his ass for me.

Lily and Kirsten decided to prove to the jerk wrong. I wasn’t ugly, according to them, I just hid my beauty. So, they got rid of my glasses and got me contacts. Then they taught me how to put make-up on carefully and properly. They even tamed my hair. Permanently. It took a bunch of spell books about hygiene. Now my curls were loose, bouncy, and gorgeous. They bought me proper moisturizers and a whole new wardrobe. All this in the first week of summer. James said that no work needed to be done on me when he saw me. That was once he got over his shock of the new me. He said I was beautiful and I knew that James was being honest with me.

Now Fate was about to make its move . . .

A/N:I know, it's a bit boring, but it gets better. I just wanted to give you a little bit of history on Libby's life.
This is my first try with a Sirius/OC fic, so i would like some feed back.
DO NOT send me reviews that are telling me that a character is out of character or that i have spelling/grammer errors. I know I do and try my best to keep them from happening.
Oh and though this is in Marauder Era, a lot of the things will sound modern. Like their clothes and the way they talk. So, it's like a modern day Marauder story. If you know what i mean.

Chapter 2: When You Kiss Me
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer:Song lyrics "When You Kiss Me" by Shania Twain. JK Rowling owns everything else!
A/N:Thanks to all those who reviewed!!

Chapter Two
When You Kiss Me

Oh, when you kiss me
I know you miss me
and when you're with me
The world just goes away
The way you hold me
The way you show me that you
adore me. Oh, when you kiss me
Oh, yeah

---Shania Twain "When You Kiss Me"

It was one of those mornings where you just couldn’t get up. I laid on my stomach, the sun leaking through my shut eyelids. I groaned knowing that if the sun was in my window, it was about noon. The sun was always in my room at noon. It was to late to sleep in any longer. I let one eye peel itself open. Then the other. I rolled onto my back, my fluffy, warm blankets wrapped itself around me tightly. I looked at my clock. It was, indeed, noon.

I sat up, untangling myself from my blankets. I loved my room and wished I could bring it to Hogwarts with me. The wooden floor and light blue walls made me feel safe. The light wood furniture and lime green curtains were put in just for me. My book shelf filled with my favorite books, wizard and muggle. My radio with my collection of records and CDs and the posters of my favorite bands and Quidditch team. I was definitely a half-blood. The mixture of Muggle and Wizard items in my room told it all. I was glad I was able to visit my Muggle grandparents from my dad’s side still, even with them gone. I was around magic all the time being raised by pure-bloods. It was nice to be around Muggles every once in a while.

Once I was free from my sheets, I swung my feet over the side of my bed and placed them silently on the cool floor. My small shorts and tank top I slept in were comfortable, but I didn’t dare go downstairs and eat breakfast with them on. Last time I did that around this time of summer, James and Black came bursting into the kitchen. I swear, Black couldn’t take his eyes off my skin. It was embarrassing and that was when I still had my glasses and my hair was horrible. Now that I actually could pull off pretty, I didn’t want to know what Black would do.

After a shower, I changed into a pair of denim shorts and a green top that hugged my sides. I looked in the mirror and let my hair air dry. Now that it was tamed and under control, I didn’t have to brush it every single day to make it look somewhat presentable. My teeth were brushed and I put on some mascara before leaving my room. I peaked into the guest room.

Lily and Kirsten were visiting. Kirsten was on the floor, waiting as Lily got dressed in the bathroom. The two girls had arrived the day before. There was only two weeks of summer left and that meant that the Potters were having their yearly “Muggle Cook-Out”. This year, John Potter, James’s dad, was planning on using no magic. Nobody dared to mention that was what he said for the past 10 years and every year, he has no choice but to use magic.

This year, however, the Potters insisted on me inviting my friends to come. James was inviting his own friends, which meant, we weren’t going to talk all night. Last year, we didn’t have our friends so we were swimming in the lake that’s behind our backyards. I was worried to think what Remus, Black, and Peter would think of my new look. Remus would be honest enough, but Black would try and piss me off like he usually does. He’s the only Marauder I can’t get along with.

“We should play Truth or Dare tonight,” Lily was saying from the bathroom.

“Why?” Kirsten smirked, “So we can dare you to snog the life out of James?”

“No!” Lily gasped yanking the door open. She didn’t deny that she liked James. She didn’t deny that she was unconditionally in love with him. She just denied every request to go out with him. She felt like his head was big enough, no need to make him seriously think that he can get every girl in the school. I thought it was pathetic of her, but whatever. I wasn’t going to argue with her over it.

“How come then?” I asked flopping down on Lily’s bed.

“Libs, it would be so much fun!” Lily smiled, “I mean, you always love a good game of Truth or Dare.”

“And this would be with Marauders! The most risk taking people in Hogwarts. They’ll do any dare we ask them to and answer any truth without hesitation!” Kirsten said, the idea seemed to send an electric shock through her

“Yeah, it would be fun,” I shrugged. Playing with the Marauder would make the game even better. I only played the game with James and Remus during the summer of our 2nd year. Black had been unable to come because of his parents or something. I was glad for that. Remus was my friend and I was spending time with James. Though, the game we played was exciting. The Marauders really would do any dare you throw at them.

“So, why so keen on playing the one game you hate, Lils?” Kirsten asked. Lily smiled.

“I don’t know. I just thought it would be a good idea,” Lily shrugged. She was up to something though. Something was on her mind.

“Who wants lunch!” I asked jumping from the bed.

My house elf, Rosie, already had it prepared. Ham sandwiches. Each made the way we liked. The house was quite which meant that my aunt and uncle were either at the Potters or watching my brother, Jacob, and his best friend, Will, swim in the lake.

I didn’t mind living in such a big house anymore. I felt like if I moved into a smaller house, I would feel trapped now. I lived in this house for almost eight years. After Hogwarts, it was going to be so weird not to live next door James anymore. But that wasn’t until after seventh year and we were only going into our 6th. I still had plenty of time in this house.

Once we cleared out plates, we decided to go outside. Lily loved that I
had a lake in my backyard. She always wanted to live on water, it calmed her. Kirsten like the peacefulness, too, but preferred hectic areas. I remembered going to her house and not being able to sleep at night because of the busy streets.

And her fighting parents.

Kirsten was a half-blood like me. Her mother walked out this summer because she was ‘fed up with magic’ or something. Kirsten was pretty upset about it, but he dad was distraught. She almost didn’t come to my house because she’s afraid of what her dad would do without her. He insisted she come though.

The sun warmed our skin as we stepped out into the summer air. Birds chirped into afternoon air and a cool breeze ruffled my curls. I pushed them out of my face and then–Splat!

Something hard, wet, and brightly colored hit my face. I almost lost balance and fell over. Thankfully, I caught myself and stood up straight. I was dripping wet. Orange rubber from a balloon was on the floor. I knew who would throw a water balloon at me. And I was not pleased to know he had arrived at James’s house. I looked at where the balloon had come from. A metallic green one was coming straight at me. With a squeal I ducked. The balloon hit the side pillar of my house instead.

Then I saw him. Laughing with James, Remus, and Peter at the corner of my house. All of them had wet hair and were shirtless that meant they were either having a bad water fight or were in the lake. My anger rose when I saw a water balloon in Black’s hand.

“BLACK!” I shrieked, still dripping wet. Black started laughing harder.

“Looking good, Cullen!” he called back, “I might have to be nice to you this year!”

“Forget him, Libby, he’s just going to laugh harder,” Lily said, pulling my arm towards the lake. I threw another glare at Black and followed Lily.

We all sat down under a large oak tree. It was our favorite spot. Kirsten positioned herself, so she could see Black and James with their shirts off. According to her they had the perfect bodies. And I couldn’t agree that they didn’t. Years of Quidditch really paid off. Though, Remus was pretty nice to look at too. He pretty much just reads a lot and always looks sick, so it is very shocking. Peter is just something that you have to turn from.

“Hello ladies,” that smooth voice I hated said behind me.

“Mind if we sit here?” James said sitting between me and Lily. He threw Lily his best smile. She blushed, but hid it with her hair, but I don’t think James missed it, because he looked at me as if to confirm it. I shrugged.

“Oh my, God, Sirius, what happened to your face?” Kirsten asked shocked and concerned. As Black seated himself closer to me then I would have like, I realized that he had bruises and cuts all over his body and a particularly horrible looking bruise on his face, hiding his amazing looks. Suddenly, I was concerned too. He looked like he got mugged by someone.

“It’s nothing, really,” Black said with this careless tone. Remus took a seat next to Kirsten and Peter squeezed himself between them. Luckily, he had pulled his t-shirt on.

“Those bruises don’t look like nothing,” I said looking at Black. He turned to me with a smirk. He really was to close to me. Why doesn’t he move over? Why don’t I move over? I was unable to move, looking into those grey eyes seemed to make me freeze up.

“Why, Cullen, are you checking me out?” he asked laughing. I frowned coming out of whatever trance Black had put me in.

“I’ll be checking you out when hell freezes over, Black,” I snapped, “Those bruises are just hard to miss,”

“Yeah, Sirius, don’t get your hopes up,” James said. Black laughed along with us all, but I noticed a strange look in his eye.

“So, we were planning on a game of Truth or Dare later on,” Kirsten said stretching and laying on her back. She was eyeing Black as she did so. Kirsten always had a thing for Black, but he never really gave her the time of day. Really, Black didn’t date as much as people thought. Yeah, he was a “stud” and one of the hottest guys in Hogwarts and a huge flirt, but he never really dated. Mostly he just snogged random girls. Few girls at Hogwarts could actually say she was Sirius Black’s hard core girlfriend.

“Truth or Dare?” Black asked wrinkling his nose, “I dunno. That game can get boring without magic,”

“Everything can get pretty boring without magic, Sirius,” Remus said.

“Yeah, come on, Pads,” James grinned, “It’ll still be fun,”

“Pads?” Kirsten, Lily and I repeated.

“Padfoot,” James said as if it were obvious, “It’s Sirius’s nickname,”

“Nicknames?” I repeated, “You guys have nicknames for yourselves?”

“Yeah,” James grinned, “Sirius is Padfoot, Remus is Moony, Peter is Wormtail, and I’m Prongs. We’re the Marauders!”

“You never told me that!” I said.

“I forgot. It’s a pretty new Marauder secret. Only made up a few months ago,” James assured me. He winked at me and I rolled my eyes. They were such strange nicknames and I felt like there was more to then names then James was letting on.


James’s dad burnt one hand, dropped a plate of patties on his foot, spilled the pitcher of lemonade, and accidently stepped on a bottle of ketchup. Nonetheless, we all sat down on the pier down by the lake and ate hamburgers and hotdogs. They weren’t that bad either. Not great, but you were able to eat them and enjoy them. John Potter was proud of himself. He actually stuck to his no-magic vow.

It was getting late and the sun was down. Magic lights were set up around the eating area so the Potters could talk with my aunt and uncle. The Marauders, Lily, Kirsten, and me were swimming in the lake. Black thought it would be funny to dunk me under every chance he got, so now I was waterlogged and my shoulders hurt from the pressure Black put on me.

“Libs,” Kirsten whispered, “Let’s start Truth or Dare now before it gets to

“Good idea,” I replied, “We’ll play in my room so no one can eavesdrop on us or anything,”

When all of us knew that we were going to start the game, I walked over to my aunt. She would find it suspicious if we all ran up to my house without an explanation and then she’ll follow us up and listen to what we were doing. We did not want adults knowing our deepest darkest secrets or keeping us from doing the craziest dares.

“Aunt Becky, we’re all going to go up to my room to hang out, okay?” I asked. Becky eyed me suspiciously, along with Sandra Potter.

“What are you going to do up in your room?” my aunt asked me. She looked so much like my mother. Gorgeous brown eyes and smooth, wavy brown hair. My hair color was the only thing I got from my mom. My curls were from my dad. Unfortunately, I got a mixture of both brown and green eyes giving my eyes a murky, swamp color that was not very pretty.

“Nothing,” I said, “We’re just going to hang out and talk and stuff. I promise, no snogging,”

“I don’t trust all those guys in your room.” Sandra said uneasily. James stepped up now, rolling his eyes.

“Mum, Becky, you let me go into Libby’s room all the time for hours with the door shut. She comes into mine for hours with the door shut. Besides, there’s not enough girls for us to all snog,” he said making a very good point. Becky and Sandra looked at one another.

“Okay, but we’re going to be checking on you!” Becky said. I then led the way to my house.

“So, what do you two do all those hours in a bedroom with the door shut?” Black asked with a smirk. Both James and I threw him a glare and didn’t bother answering the stupid question.

Once we made it to my room, I shut my door, lit candles and James pulled out a bottle of Veritaserum and that he always had handy for reasons I did not know and his Invisibility Cloak. Once we were seated around the candles and truth potion, we all looked at one another.

“Who’s going first?” James asked with an excited and mischievous glint in his eye.

“I will,” I volunteered. Everyone looked towards me now. I smirked and looked at James. I had the perfect dare for him.

“James. Truth or Dare?” I asked. James smirked.

“Dare,” He said, stating the obvious. I smirked right back.

“I dare you to...go skinny dipping in the Dillard’s pool,” I said. The Dillards were our obnoxious and rude neighbors who lived across the street. They hated James and me because we’ve done quite a few pranks on them. They’ll get so mad to see a naked James in their sickishly clean pool.

“Ooh, starting out dirty, aren’t we, Libby?” James asked. He stood up and grabbed his cloak, “Who’s going to come to make sure I do it?”

“Uh...” we all said. None of us wanted to see James naked. Except maybe Lily, but she wouldn’t admit that.

“I say Sirius and Libby,” Remus said logically, “You say their like a brother and sister to you all the time, Prongs, it only make sense,”

“Yeah. Okay, come on, Libs, Padfoot,” James said grinning. We both stood and snuck downstairs and out the front door. Then all three of us slid under the cloak. Both James and Black were about a head taller then me. I only came up to Black’s shoulder. I was cursed to be short my whole life. Not that I minded. I could be like Lily who is almost as tall as James.

“Ow, Black, you keep stepping on my feet,” I mumble as we slowly made our way across the street.

“Sorry, James is taking up all the space,” Black countered.

“That’s you Padfoot,” James snapped. It was true. James was still as skinny as ever, even though he was quite strong. Black was a lot broader and filled out more then James.

“Sshh,” I hushed as we opened the gate. I heard laughter. Our stuck-up Muggle neighbors were out in their pool, “This is perfect,”

“For you,” James mumbled handing me his glasses. He slid from under the cloak and stripped down to his boxers, handing me his clothes under the cloak. I turned away as he pulled his boxers off, too, while trying to ignore the sweet boyish smell coming off Black. He smelt so good. James handed me his boxers, which was kind of weird, and then James was off running. He gave out a whoop and ran onto the diving board and dived into the clear pool. Mrs. Dillard screamed and tried to get out of the way.

“Oh!” Mr. Dillard cried as water splashed him. Then, “POTTER!!”

James was already across the pool, out of the water and running back towards us. He grabbed his boxers I had ready from under the cloak and pulled them on and ran back to my house without the cloak. We had to get back before the Dillards called the Potters. Still holding James’s shorts and t-shirt, Black and I started running after James. We were laughing freely now and Mr. Dillard was chasing us. Not that he knew we were there. Luckily, Black and I were able to run safely and easily because I was so small, giving Black plenty of space that Potter denied him.

We ran into the house and up the stairs. James was already there,
jumping up and down, dripping wet in his boxers. Black pulled the cloak off of us and I handed James his clothes. Then we all burst out laughing.

“That was great!” Black said, “You should have seen the Dillards’ faces! They were like shocked. The old bloke came running across the street. He’s probably looking for you right now, James,”

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. James was dressed by now, but his hear was still dripping wet. We were all still giggling too as my Uncle pushed open the door. He had a stern look on.

“Mr. Dillard just came over here saying James just jumped into his pool naked,” Scott said. We all looked at one another and Uncle Scott broke into a grin, “If Becky or Sandra ask, you’re both grounded,”

“Thanks!” I said as he shut the door.

“Okay, James your turn,” I said. James settled himself back in his spot and looked around the circle.

“Lily...” he said.

“Oh no,” Lily moaned.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Truth,” Lily said, “I’m playing it safe,”

We gave her three drops of Veritaserum. James sat back for a minute as we tested that it worked. Once we were ready, James smirked and asked, “What are your true feelings for me?” Everyone looked at Lily and she had a pained look on her face before stating tonelessly her feelings.

“I really am obsessed with you and think you are the best looking guy in Hogwarts but I won’t go out with you because then your head will just get bigger and I’m trying to prove not every girl wants to go out with you. Though, every time you ask me out I want to say yes,” Lily slapped a hand over her mouth, green eyes wide and fearful. I looked at James. He was sitting there with this goofy grin on his face.

“Damn, now I owe Moony 10 galleons,” Black muttered. Remus smirked from across the circle.

“Okay, let’s just move on from that,” Lily said taking a deep breath, “Kirsten, truth or dare?”

“Lils, you know I never choose Dare,” Kirsten said rolling her eyes. Lily smiled and looked at the ceiling thinking of something to ask Kirsten. Then she smiled and we gave Kirsten three drops of the Truth Potion.

“Out of all four guys in this room, which one do you want to snog the most?” Lily asked. We all knew Kirsten wanted to snog Black, James, and Remus. She’s told us a hundred times. And she’s obsessive over Black, so this was a waste of potion.

“Sirius, of course,” Kirsten said smirking at Black. He smiled but showed no sign of interest for Kirsten. He’s snogged her once before, I think, Kirsten never really said much when she came back from a detention with Black. She was really giddy and super pleased, just like she is when someone asks her out.

“Okay, Remmy, truth or dare?” Kirsten asked Remus. He didn’t hesitate.


“Okay. I dare you to......” Kirsten paused, thinking, “Ooh, I dare you to go up to Mr. Potter and confess your love to him while rapping,”

“That’s the best you’ve got?” Remus asked. We all followed him down to the lake and watched as he approached John Potter. Remus looked at John and smiled, “Yo, Moony is in the house!” he said making us giggle, then started to rap, “Yo, dogg I just came to say, I love you in every way. My heart goes thump when you enter a room, come fly away with me on my broom!” John looked shocked. My Uncle, Aunt, and Sandra Potter were laughing. Remus smiled as he beat his fist against his chest, kissed his fist, and gave John the peace sign with his pointer and middle finger, “I’m out, G,” he said. Then we all ran back inside, falling over from laughter.

“That was short, but so good,” James laughed, “I swear my dad thought you were serious for a minute,”

“Me, too,” Remus grinned, “Okay. Uh, James, truth or dare?”

“Oh come on,” Sirius whined, “I want a go!”

“Shut up, Padfoot. Dare, Remus,” James said. Remus thought for a minute.

“I’ll keep it simple,” he said, and James pouted, “I dare you to sweet talk Libby’s brother’s friend, Will,”

“But that kid is a weirdo,” James complained, “I’ve seen the way he looks at me and it’s not comfortable,”

“The way he looks at you Prongs? The kid was practically drooling while we were swimming before,” Black laughed.

“Okay, I’ll do it, where is he?” James asked standing.

“Jake’s room. The door’s open, so we all can watch again,” I said. James
walked out of my room and we followed.

We laughed as James leaned against the doorframe of Jacob’s room. He was looked pretty hot from the back, leaning against the door and Lily seemed memorized by him. I would just love to see him from the front.

“Hey,” he said in his most seductive voice.

“Hi James,” we heard Jacob say. James walked in further and we all peeked into the room. Will was staring at James, but not in any hypnotized way. Just like a 12 year old looking at an older, intimidating neighbor.

“Will, I never noticed, your eyes are as blue as the heavens,” James said sitting down, awfully close to Will. He eyed James nervously, “I love blue eyes,” James leaned really close to Will and he scooted away.

“Er...really?” he asked.

“Mmmhmm,” James said smiling, “And your hair. It’s so perfect. You’re like a perfect angle,”

“Uh, thanks,” Will stammered. Jacob was watching James confused now. He still hadn’t seen us at the door.

“Will, I’m afraid I left my library card at my house, but can I still check you out?” James asked. Black snorted then at the corny pick up line he once used on Lily in 3rd year, making us all burst into giggles. James began to laugh too and looked at the truly frightened 12 year old now, “Don’t worry, Will, I was just playing with you. I’m not attracted to you,” Jacob frowned looking at me.

“Get out!” he snapped at me and my friends, “And don’t use my friends as a dare. I never use yours!”

“We were just playing, Jake,” James laughed messing up my little brother’s hair, “Calm down,”

We went back to my room and settled on the floor. Our order got messed up though. I was no longer seated by Lily and James, but Remus and Black. James was seated across from me, smirking. Uh-oh, time to get me back for making him go skinny-dipping. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for whatever horror I was to do next.

“Truth or Dare, Libby?” James asked. I could have easily chosen truth, but then I’d be taking the easy way out. James would find a way to get me back either way. Besides, I never backed down from a dare.

“Dare,” I said confidently. James smirked.

“I dare you, Libby, to kiss...” James paused and I felt my heart start to speed up. Oh no, please don’t let him say who I think he’s going to say. Please no, “Sirius Black,”


“What?” Black gasped, looking at James in shock. James smirked.

“It’s a dare, she’s gotta do it. Unless you want a chicken, Libs,” James
said looking at me innocently. I sat up straighter.

“No way. I never back down from a dare,” I said. I really want to just back down from this dare. Though, I couldn’t bring myself to. I faced Black, the guy I hated since the moment I saw him, and he looked at me. We both looked at James nervously where he sat smirking. Finally, I leaned forward until my mouth
found Black’s.

His lips were soft and gentle against mine. I was planning on pulling away quickly. You know, a quick peck on the lips, but I found I liked kissing Black. Even though it was a simple light kiss, being so close to Black made me feel safe and happy. Like nothing in the world can ever go wrong again. Time had slowed down and my brain had gone fuzzy. Every cell in my body was going crazy, wanting to deepen the kiss, wanting Black, never wanting to leave his side again. I barely remembered this was a dare and all my friends were watching me kiss Black right at this moment. And then–

“Ow!” I squealed pulling away. Both me and Black were holding our mouths.

“You shocked me!” Black accused.

“Me? You shocked me!” I countered. The shock hurt really bad, my mouth felt sore, like it was pinched really hard. At least the kiss was over. The realization of what happened was getting to me. I kissed Sirius Black and liked it!!

“Talk about fireworks,” James teased. We both glared at him as someone knocked on my door.

“Hey, we’re having s`mores if you want some,” My aunt said, poking her head in, “Muggle style,” she added, as if tempting us. The boys were gone in seconds and Lily and Kirsten smirked at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You and Black were kissing for almost 15 seconds,” Kirsten said.

“And then you shocked each other. How do you know it wasn’t like James said. Fireworks,” Lily asked. I rolled my eyes.

“You guys are pathetic. Nothing is ever going to happen between Black and me,” I said, “Now come on, let’s go have a s`more,”

As I followed my smirking friends down the hall, I was awear my body was still buzzing with excitement. A part of me, my logical side, was appalled by Sirius Black’s mouth touching my own, my the other side of me wanted more. I was amazed to find I wanted to kiss him again. It was like the perfect kiss and I wanted more.

Stop it I told myself, This is Black we’re talking about. The guy that has bullied you since first year. Nothing can ever happen between you two. Besides, your not his type and he isn’t yours.

A/N: Please REVIEW!! I really want feed back, and again, don't comment on my grammer/spelling errors. I want you're opinion on the story overall and things I can change and whatnot. Thanks!! Love you all!!

Chapter 3: Dirty Little Secret
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: JKR owns everything but the plot and the characters you don't recogonize. Lyrics written and performed by The All-American Rejects.

Chapter Three
Dirty Little Secret

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone
Or You'll be just another regret
Dirty little secret
Who has to know?

---The All-American Rejects "Dirty Little Secret"

There was no way I was going to admit that I liked kissing Black. I barely even could admit it to myself. The last two weeks of summer were torture. Sirius–I mean Black–acted different since we kissed. He was nicer to me. He was more considerate of me. And I found that I liked the sensitive side of Black that I discovered. Not in that way though. Never would I like Black in that way.

No matter what, I swore to myself that I was even going to keep my need for Black’s kisses a secret. My dirty little secret. Lily had dropped the whole kissing thing three days after it happened. She went into Prefect mode and started yelling at us for not having all our homework done by now. Luckily, those hours of forced homework took all our minds of the Kiss.

Right afterwards, though, Kirsten would start trying to pry the truth out of me, but I each time I would say, “It was a dare to kiss Sirius Black. So I did, no big deal. It was only a kiss.” Kirsten would stare straight into my eyes for a minute afterwards and turn away. Sometimes, like when Siri–Black was nice to me, I saw Kirsten giving me these jealous looks. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Black was just as nice to Kirsten as he was to everyone else. That’s why everyone liked him. Except me and the Slytherins.

“Libby!” my aunt shrieked, “You have a half hour to get dressed before we’re leaving for the platform!”

I groaned and sat up, stretching. I looked at the time and shuffled towards my bathroom. I brushed my teeth, showered, and put on the little make-up I wore. Then I went to the clothes I laid out last night. I checked and double checked that I had everything the night before and laid out the clothes I was going to wear on the train on top of my trunk. I took off my pajamas and put on my Levi hip-huggers and then slipped my pink Finch band T-shirt on over my head. I pulled my curls into a loose ponytail on the back of my head and slipped my feet into my worn, black and white, converses. I shoved my pajamas into my trunk and shut it. With a quick glance around my room, I knew I had everything and began to drag my trunk downstairs.

“I’ll help you with that,” Black was suddenly next to me. I jumped and
dropped my trunk on my toe.

“Ow!” I yelped, “God, Black, you scared me! What are you doing here?” I asked slapping him on the arm. Black smirked.

“James’s parents had an emergency to attend so your aunt and uncle are taking us to the Platform. James and I were just helping Jacob and Will make sure they have everything,” Black explained. He looked nice today in tight, but not to tight, black jeans and a button down black shirt. His hair looked so clean and soft I wanted to run my hands through it. The bruises he had, were now gone, after fading from their yellowish state. His face looked as good as new. I wondered if he used something to keep his face so clean and skin so healthy. I snapped out of my daydream as Black started lugging my trunk down the stairs.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” I said, even though I was grateful he did.

“What do you have in there?” Sirius asked putting my trunk next to his and James’s.

“Lily and Kirsten bought me a whole new wardrobe and made sure I brought it all,” I grinned. I was glad that I had the new clothes. My other ones were old and out of date. In addition, they let me keep my band T-shirts and showed me all these cute accessories and skirts and stuff to wear with them.

“Oh,” he obviously wasn’t expecting an answer. Black looked up at me and smiled, “I like your new look, Libby. You didn’t need one, but you look good,”

LIBBY?!?! Since when does Black call me by my first name?

“Thanks,” I said, blushing.


“Hurry, you have ten minutes,” Becky ushered us all through the barrier.

I was relieved to be out of the Ministry SUV the Potters lent us. Even though the seats were magically widened so seven teenagers and two preteens and one adult could fit into them, I still was squished between Black and James. The smell of Black’s aftershave was making me woozy it smelt so good. My whole body tingled the whole way to King’s Cross from being so close to Black. I barely said a word the whole way and not once did I move. I was afraid that if I allowed my body to move, I would jump on Si–Black.

Not Sirius. Black.

“We’re here, Becky, you can calm down,” James laughed once we all were through the barrier with eight minutes to spare.

“Okay, well, go find a capartment,” Becky said, “Have a good year, James. Libby! Come over and give me a hug. There we go! Oh, Sirius, it was good to see you again. Oh, and nice meeting you Peter. Remus! Rethink that career as a rapper. Oh, Kirsten, Lily, I wish you had stayed longer. I love having you around!”

Hugs went around my group and then Becky moved onto Jacob and Will. Lily, Kirsten and I made our way to the train, waving to some kids we knew on the way. I climbed onto the train and started searching for a compartment. They all were pretty much full. We were about to go and sit with Alice Stewart, a cute fifth year girl who started dating Frank Longbottom last year. We were friendly with Alice. She was a good person to talk to and really sweet. But just as we were about to open the door, James came out of a compartment a bit further down the narrow corridor.

“We have room!” he called. A few other girls looked at one another, daring the other to go and ask if they could sit with the Marauders. Just to save them from the embarrassment and the rejection, I waved to Alice and we piled into the Marauder’s compartment.

“Can all seven of us fit?” I asked as James shoved out trunks with the other four.

“Remus and Lily need to go to the Prefects carriage, but we’ll make ourselves fit,” Black replied.

And we did. Once Lily and Remus returned from their meeting, I was shoved against the window, once again next to Black and his addicting aftershave. James was stretched out on the floor, his long form going almost the whole length of the compartment. Peter sat by the door, keeping an eye out for the Snack Trolley. Remus was sitting across with him, reading a book. Kirsten was across from me, sitting sideways, and pulling her skirt just so. She was all leg and wasn’t afraid to show her perfectly tanned ones off. She was pouting from the lack of attention from any of the Marauders. Lily was seated on the floor next to James. Her head on his shoulder. James asked her out a few days ago and she had no reason to say no. They never seemed able to keep their hands off each other.

“Cozy, isn’t it?” Sirius(damn) asked, stretching his legs out so they were on top of James. He glared at Black and pushed them up and over.

“Snug, I would say,” I corrected.

“So, goals for this year Marauders!” James said, “What’s our goals?”

“Not infront of the girls, Prongs,” Black whined, his voice got all high. It reminded me of a dog’s whine.

“Why not? It’s a Marauder tradition to state our yearly goals on the train!” James countered. I rolled my eyes.

“We’re not going to state our goals,” Black argued. Remus sighed.

“He has a point not to do it in front of the girls,” he said, “We can do it later,”

“Fine,” James pouted. Lily whispered something in his ear and he grinned before turning his head and kissing Lily.

“Okay, not mushy stuff in a crowded compartment!” Kirsten snapped nudging Lily with her heel.

It was hard to enjoy the train ride. Lily and James disappeared together, most likely to snog. Peter was making a lot of noise eating a bunch of food from the trolley. Remus was still reading and Kirsten was filing her nails after 20 minutes of complaining about a chipped nail. I felt myself getting sleepy as time passed and then, I was out.

I had a weird dream. I was walking down the empty Great Hall towards the Sorting Hat. The tables weren’t even there, making the hall look three times it’s size and I got no closer to the sorting hat. An echoing voice, which sounded familiar, but I couldn’t quite place, kept repeating the same sentence I can’t interfere with fate now can I? I broke into a run and tried to reach the hat, but it got further, like I was running backwards. And then—

“Libby,” someone was shaking me, “Libby, wake up. We’re almost to the school,”

I opened my eyes to see Sirius looking at me. I realized I was using Siri(screw this)–us’s shoulder as a pillow. We were pressed together like Lily and James were before they left. Startled by my position, I sat up and tried to move away. Instead, I banged my head against the window with a crack. Ouch.

“Are you okay?” Sirius asked, actually looking concerned. Kirsten was biting her lip to keep from laughing. Remus had put his book down at the noise and was smirking.

“I’m fine,” I said, standing, “Kirsten, are you coming to change into our school robes?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kirsten said.

I grabbed my school uniform and opened the compartment door. Kirsten took her time getting her things and then followed me out. I avoided looking at Sirius. My heart was pounding from the way I had been sleeping on him. Why hadn’t anyone woke me? Why didn’t Sirius push me off?

“He fell asleep, too, you know,” Kirsten said after I asked her.

“Oh no,” I groaned.

“You two looked so cuddly. His head was resting on yours, and you both sort of slid down in your seats so you were really close. It was cute. I can’t wait to tell Lily!” Kirsten blabbered on excitedly. Her blond ponytail swung back and forth as we slipped into the bathroom. I changed in silence as she talked about how cute Lily and James are together.

Once I was changed, Kirsten led the way through the narrow corridors, back to our compartment. Remus, Peter, and Sirius had changed into their robes by now and Lily and James had returned, also in their robes. I had no idea when they changed. I took a seat next to Remus this time, pulling my skirt down a bit so it wouldn’t slide up.

“Hey,” I said to Lily and James.

“Hi!” Lily smiled, “I was just talking to Alice. You’ll never guess what Frank gave her,”

“Hmm,” Kirsten said, “Flowers, a summer trip to Paris, jewelry . . . Come on, Lils, what hasn’t Frank given Alice?”

“He gave her a promise ring,” James blurted out as if it were no big deal. But Kirsten squealed with excitement.

I just forced a smile. It was amazing how some girls could find the perfect guy for them so quickly, like Lily and Alice. Then others need to search a little bit, like Kirsten. Then there was me. The geeky looking chick that hung out with the cool, beautiful people. Lily has had a couple of boyfriends before James and Kirsten dates a lot. I have had one boyfriend my entire life and he tried to take advantage of me and called me ugly when I turned him down. Some love life that is.

Thinking of my screwed love life, I found myself staring at Sirius. He was laughing at the way Kirsten screamed at the news of Alice and Frank. His smile was nice. It showed all his teeth and lit up his who face. And he had a dimple. I never noticed before, but he had a dimple in his left cheek. I was a sucker for dimples. To me, it completes a guy. I’ll never be able to take it when Sirius smiles
now. Suddenly, Sirius’s eyes met mine and I turned away quickly, scolding myself for letting him catch me and for not being able to get that dimple out of my head.

“Finally!” James said standing up and stretching as the train slowed to a stop, “I’m starving,”

We piled out of our compartment and followed the crowd out onto the platform. The carriages were already waiting for us. I saw the thestrals and shivered. I wish I couldn’t see them. My eyes stayed glued to the horse like creatures. Before I found out why I could see them and none of my friends, I had thought they were amazing creatures.

“Are you okay?” once again, Sirius was actually concerned for me. I looked at him and nodded.

“Yeah, it’s just the thestrals,” I said. I took a deep breath and climbed into a carriage with Lily, Kirsten, and Alice.

“How was your summer, Libby?” Alice asked me. Her cute round face was smiling at me. She was getting to be very pretty.

“It was good. I’m glad to be back, though,” I grinned.

“She kissed Sirius Black,” Kirsten said smugly. I stared at Kirsten in horror as Alice raised an eyebrow in interest.

“How come?” she asked.

“It was a dare to kiss Sirius Black and I did. No big deal,” I said shaking my head, “It’s not like I am on his list of girls to snog by the end of the year. I’m not pretty enough or slutty enough,”

“Oh come on, Libby, you’re gorgeous!” Kirsten said rolling her eyes, “And you were pretty before we gave you a make over, too. You need to give yourself more credit,”

“Anyways, back to the kissing,” Alice grinned, “What was it like?”

“It wasn’t a snog, Alice,” I said exasperated, “It was just a simple little kiss that meant nothing to me and nothing to Sirius,”

“Then why are you calling him by his first name?” Kirsten smirked, “And he’s been a lot nicer to you. And you feel asleep on his shoulder on the train. Come on, Libs, don’t you see that he stares at you almost all the time?”

“He has since first year,” Lily pointed out in a dazed voice. Her eyes suddenly grew wide and she and Kirsten shared a look. I rolled my eyes and
decided to ignore them, but Alice was part of that look. I groan and sat back. My friends were crazy.


“Welcome back to Hogwarts!” Dumbledore smiled from where he stood infront of the Great Hall, “Welcome to those who are just starting out! There are a few announcements to go over before he head up to bed after our delicious feast! I’d like to introduce our newest member to the staff, Professor Naomi Humphrey, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. The Forbidden Forest is off limits to everyone . . . and no one is to go near the Whomping Willow located on the grounds due to injury last year. Mr. Filch has added to his list of banded items if you would like to see the list, it is on the back of his office door . . . Quidditch tryouts . . . ”

I tuned out of the speech. My stomach was full and I was tired from the train ride. Besides, I was already on the Quidditch team. I didn’t have to worry about tryouts. For about the hundredth time tonight, I glanced down the table at Sirius. He and James were having a sword fight with toothpicks. I wondered where they had gotten toothpicks. But that thought raced from my mind when Sirius looked up. I looked away. It happened like that every time I started to watch Sirius. Either he would look at me and I’d turn away, or I’d look at him and he’d look away quickly.

Sirius wasn’t the only one looking at me. I saw quite a few boys from other houses, including Slytherin, staring at me with interest. I felt self conscience and a bit nervous.

Lily slapped James on the arm and gave him a look. He pouted as he turned towards Professor Dumbledore and pretended to pay attention. I looked back at the Professor again. He looked older this year, more strained.

“Now, before I send you off, I will leave you with a word of caution,” Dumbledore was saying. I sat up straighter in interest, “You have heard of a Dark Lord Voldemort raising in power for the past few years. I am afraid he is still getting stronger. Remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You may just find an enemy in the ones you love and a friend in the ones you hate,” I swear Dumbledore looked straight at me and then at Sirius. I can’t interfere with fate now, can I?

I shook the thought from my head. It was a mere warning. The Marauders are known for being prejudice against Slytherin. It was merely a warning and coincidence that he looked straight at me.

“Now, off! Go to bed and rest!” Dumbledore said. There was the scraping of benches against the floor and the buzz of tired conversation as everyone headed towards their dormitories. Lily stayed behind to help the first years. Kirsten and I went ahead.

The dorm looked as it always did before the girls living in it trashed it. Our trunks were placed neatly at the bottom of the each bed. The scarlet blankets were clean and comfortable looking with fluffy pillows and heavy drapes. I wanted to jump on my bed and curl right up it looked so welcoming. The wooden floors were cleaned and clear of bras, books, clothes, papers, and whatever else we hadn’t yet taken out and the window on the far side of the room was allowing the stars to shine in. My bed was the closet to the window. I loved the full moons here.

Kirsten went to her bed and opened her trunk. Samantha and Susan Orrin pushed past me giggling about Sirius Black and James Potter. As usual. They were the type of girls Sirius snogged ever so often. They never seemed to see that being snogged over and over by Sirius Black was not something to be proud of. But they didn’t care.

Susan and Samantha were the girls that had their roots coming in and over sized boobs that they tried to make look even bigger. They worried about every little tiny thing they ate and wore way too much foundation. They hung over all guys and were easy. Which was why guys even bothered talking to them. They hated me for some reason and hated Kirsten and Lily because they were prettier then them without showing cleavage or wearing a bunch of make up.

I continued towards my bed. I was about to open my trunk when something caught my eye. I froze where I was, my hand flying up to my mouth. All the feeling in my body went numb and every sound around me dissolved.

“Libby?” Lily rested a hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t seen heard her come in “What’s—oh!” she gasped.

“What?” Kirsten, Samantha and Susan all asked.

Finally, the feeling came back to me. I reached over and picked up the delicate pink rose that had been laid on my pillow just so. There was a letter underneath it, my name written on the front in neat calligraphy handwriting. Being careful of the thorns, I smelt the rose. They were my favorite flower and the pink ones were my overall favorite. So innocent looking and not as romantic as the red. I stared at Lily with wide eyes. Who would send a rose to me?

I summoned up a vase of water with my wand and put the rose in it. It looked so perfect on my dresser that wasn’t crowded with books and giant glasses.

“What’s the letter say?” Kirsten sighed with excitement. This was the type of thing she loved.

“I dunno,” I said stupidly. Then realizing she wanted me to open the letter, I did. The neat handwriting made the parchment look just as pretty as the rose. I cleared my throat and read out loud:

When a rose wilts, its beauty dies. But your beauty shines through, and always has.

“Oh my, God!” Lily said putting a hand to her heart, “That’s beautiful. Did he leave a name?”

“No, no name,” Kirsten said as I handed her the parchment. She wanted to read the letter for herself. For how short it was, my heart was beating faster than ever and it felt three times it’s size. Who would send this?

“I don’t get stuff like this!” I said to my friends, awear the Samantha and Susan were watching us from the other side of the room, “I mean, this is something you guys get. I’m not pretty like you and I’m not—”

“Libby,” Lily said pulling my to stand in front of the full length mirror, “Look at yourself. You are gorgeous,”

“All I see, Lils, is a tall and pretty red head and a short curly haired person feigning pretty,” I said going to my bed and taking the letter from Kirsten, “I want to know who sent this,”

“I think I know!” Kirsten giggled. I looked at her.


“Sirius Black, maybe,” she said giggling harder. Samantha and Susan’s heads snapped up. They looked a bit pissed.

“Kirsten, Sirius doesn’t like me,” I said looking my friend in the eyes.

“Why would someone like Sirius Black like someone like Libby anyways?” Samantha asked in her snippy voice, “It’s not like you’re all that great. Once a geek, always a geek,”

“Once a slut, always a slut,” Kirsten shot back.

“Excuse me?” Susan asked, “Just because Sirius likes us better then you we’re sluts?”

“Oh no, Sirius doesn’t like you. He likes the way you throw yourself at him when he needs a good snog,” Kirsten said. She turned to me and smiled again sweetly, “Haven’t you noticed how nice Sirius has been since you two kissed? I mean, he’s better then James ever was to Lily,”

“Oh my, God, you kissed Sirius Black?” Samantha and Susan said at the same time. We ignored them.

“It was a dare, Kirsten. It meant nothing,” Lily said seeing that the twins were going to make this big rumor out of the information they just gathered. I nodded, but in the corner of my eye, I could see the twins sharing a look that made me feel uneasy. I stood up straighter, trying not to care.

“I’m going to bed,” I announced, “See you in the morning,”

I changed into my pajama shorts and white tank top. Then I brushed my teeth and crawled under the covers. Thanks to the many spells Lily and Kirsten showed me, I was no longer afraid that my hair was going to go crazy as I slept. I put the letter in a book in my trunk and then pretended to sleep until the lights went off. After a few minutes, Samantha and Susan began to snore and the light breathing of Lily and Kirsten told me the were asleep. I rolled over and the last thing I saw was the perfect pink rose, beginning to open.

A/N: Please review. I love feed back. Forget what I said about spelling and grammer errors in chp.1. someone pointed out to me that I really should take the advice, though I try hard to catch all my errors.

Updates will be slow, sorry. School starts in two week(ah! first year of high school!) and I have four stories, plus my orignial works to work on. I'll try to keep up though. I have up to chp. 19 written for this already, but I'm going to rotate updates with my other stories.

Love you all, and don't forget to leave a review!!

Chapter 4: Start of Something New
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling. Except what you don't know and the plot. That's mine. Oh, and the lyrics are from Disney Channel's "High School Musical", as everyone probably already knows.

A/N: Thanks to ALL of you who have reviwed!!

Chapter Four
Start of Something New

Start of Something new
It feels so right
To be here with you
And now looking in your eyes
I feel in my heart
The start of something new

---"Start of Something New" High school musical soundtrack

When I woke up, everyone else in the dorm was gone. The pink rose still sat on my night stand. It was almost all the way open now and looked gorgeous sitting there. I saw I had an hour and a half till my first class of the year and then shuffled towards the showers. Once clean and my teeth were brushed, I pulled on my crisp white button down and pulled up my black nylon tights. I pulled up my skirt afterwards, tucking my shirt into it. I put on my red and gold tie and then pulled on my robes before slipping my feet into my required black shoes. I put what little make-up I wore on and then put a black ribbon in my hair like a headband.

Perfect. Almost.

I skipped downstairs into the common room in search of my friends. It was pretty much empty. Only Alice and Frank sat in front of the fire. They waved to me and I waved back. My stomach growled in hunger and I headed towards the Great Hall. James had to be down there. He and Sirius ate more then any normal person could in a week.

I wasn’t really paying much attention as to where I was walking. My thoughts were drifting around the rose that still stood in my room. I wanted to know who sent it desperately. Kirsten could be right, but I doubted Sirius’s immature mind could be that romantic. Besides, I knew Sirius’s handwriting and it was not that neat. I turned a corner and—


“Ow!” I yelped as I fell back on my butt.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you!” a boy’s voice said. I looked up and was glad I was on the ground because I would have fallen.

It was Ben Carlson, a Ravenclaw in my year. He had light brown hair and deep brown eyes that were so soft you couldn’t help but lose yourself in them. He played Chaser for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team and was very tall, especially next to me and my shortness. I’ve had a small crush on Ben since 4th year, but no one knew. I never shared that type of stuff with even Lily and Kirsten. James suspected, I think. He once told me, while we were playing Quidditch against Ravenclaw, not to be so clumsy when Ben flew so close. But that could have just been because I kept dropping the Quaffle and we almost lost the game.

“Oh, uh, no it’s fine. I wasn’t paying attention either,” I said from the floor. Ben held a hand out for me.

“Yeah, but I stayed on my feet,” Ben grinned. He had a very nice smile. No dimples though. I took Ben’s hand and he pulled me to my feet.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, straightening my skirt.

“You’re Libby Cullen, right?” Ben asked. I looked up, my heart sinking that he wasn’t even sure who I was. I wasn’t that much of a loser last year.

“Yeah,” I said, my voice sounded offended and Ben heard it.

“Oh, I knew that,” he said quickly, “I just—well, we never really talked before and, er, you look a lot different this year,”

“Yeah, well, Lily and Kirsten gave me a make over I desperately needed,” I said smiling. Ben shook his head, also smiling.

“You didn’t need one desperately,” he said, “You didn’t need one at all,”

“Thanks,” I blushed, “But I own a mirror,”

Ben laughed before looking at his watch, “Hey, it was nice talking to you, but I gotta go. I left my Herbology book in my dorm. Catch you later?”

“Yeah,” I said smiling. He took off again and I could feel my smile getting bigger. Maybe my new look wasn’t such a bad thing if guys like Ben are noticing me . . .

I walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall. Sure enough, James, Lily and Sirius were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table. I walked over and took a seat next to Sirius without meaning to. I regretted it the second I caught his scent. Why did he have to smell so good? I tried to ignore it as I poured some cereal into a bowl and then milk.

“Hi,” I said after I shallowed my first bite.

“You hungry?” James asked watching me eat. I frowned.

“Yes I am,” I said and put another spoonful of cereal into my mouth.

“Finally,” Lily sighed, “The mail. It took longer then usual,”

I looked up and sure enough, owls were soaring into the Great Hall with letters and parcels and newspapers. I didn’t expect any letters. An owl landed in front of Lily with a letter in it’s mouth. She took it and tore it open. I was watching her face show more and more disappointment when she looked up and gasp.

“Libby! Another one!” she said. For a minute I was confused, but then I saw one of the school owls infront of me. A pink rose and letter was in it’s mouth. I gasped.

“Oh my, God!” I said all excited. James threw a confused glance at Sirius and then back at the flower and parchment, which were now in my hands.

“What’s it say?” Lily asked.

“What’s going on?” James whined. Sirius was watching me with interest, too.

I ignored my friends and read the letter. It wasn’t as romantic as the last one. It said: Another rose to keep that smile I love on your face. Enjoy your first day of classe. I’m thinking of you . . .

“Read it!” I said handing the parchment to Lily. James read it over her shoulder and frowned, a suspicious glint in his eye.

“Oh my God!” Lily squealed, “Where’s Kirsten? She has to see this!”

“Libby, Lily, what’s going on?” James asked as we both jumped up, my breakfast forgotten. I paused, not sure if I wanted to tell James about these little notes. But when I looked at James, I had to. We tell each other everything. Almost.

“Okay, last night there was a rose and this really sweet and romantic letter on my pillow,” I said with an excited giggle that was so not me, “And now, another one! We don’t know who could possibly be sending them and I want to know so badly. It’s really exciting too, because I never get stuff like this because I’m not pretty or flirty,”

“You are too pretty,” James and Lily said automatically.

“Whatever,” I said, “I’m going to go find Kirsten and I have to tell Alice. Bye!”


Transfiguration was my first class of the year. Professor Mcgonagall stood at the front of the room giving us the yearly lecture of what is expected of us. I was having a hard time concentrating on what she was saying because she had made us sit alphabetical order and of course I am stuck next to Sirius and his irresistible aftershave and that taunting dimple. I sighed for the hundredth time since class started and looked at the clock. Another 30 minutes and I’m out of here.

I looked back at Mcgonagall. She was now talking about N.E.W.Ts next year. We still had to get through 6th year! Why is she telling us about a test that no one wants to worry about till next year? Sirius leaning back in his chair. He pushed his black bangs out of his eyes with a flick of his head. Only he could make such a simple movement look so sexy. I looked away, frustrated.

“I will not tolerate any work that is not to your best standards. It would be handed back and points taken away. I am offering extra credit and tutoring for those whom might need it. You will speak to me after class,” Mcgonagall said. Sirius was yawning and stretching now. He was such distraction! Before I could think my hand shot up. Mcgonagall stopped and looked at me. No one obviously asked questions in the middle of her speech.

“Miss Cullen?” Mcgonagall asked.

“Can I move to another seat?” I asked desperately. Sirius let his chair fall back on all four legs with a thud and Mcgonagall raised her eyesbrows. Other girls in my class were shocked that anyone would give up sitting next to Sirius Black.

“What’s wrong with your seat now?” Mcgonagall asked.

“Sirius is being very distracting,” I said a bit embarrassed and angry that thoughts of Sirius wouldn’t leave my head.

“What?” Sirius asked, “I’m not doing anything!”

“I have to agree with Mr. Black, for once, Miss Cullen,” Mcgonagall said looking suspicious, “He hasn’t done anything at all through class,” she added with a worried look at Sirius.

“It’s the little things that’s distracting me, Professor,” I muttered, very embarrassed now, “Please, can I move?”

“Maybe next class,” Mcgonagall promised and without another word, she launched back into her speech. Sirius was smiling. Not that gorgeous smile that shows all his teeth and not a smirk. It was a crooked smile, that dimple more noticeable then ever. I took a deep breath to calm myself. So the guy had three smiles and I loved each one, who cares?

Sirius slipped a piece of parchment into my lap. I tried to unfold it slowly so I wouldn’t be noticed. Then I looked down casually and read the note. Then I looked at Sirius, who was still smiling, and glared. The note said: Distracted by my marvelous good-looks, are you? I scribbled a note back.

Sorry to disappoint you, but no. I folded the parchment back up and slid it back over to Sirius when the Mcgonagall’s back was turned. Sirius unfolded it, read it, and smiled. He picked up his quill and wrote something back.

Right. . .so, any idea who this sappy romantic that’s sending you corny love notes is? Ha! Proof that Sirius isn’t the one behind the roses! He would never insult himself! I knew he never would do something like that!

He’s not sappy! He is romantic and sweet, unlike you who snogs girls just for the fun of it! But no, I have no idea. Would you? I pushed the parchment back towards Sirius. He read it and smirked before writing back.

I may have an idea, but why should I tell you? That was insulting! I watched Sirius from the corner of my eye as I wrote back. He looked pleased with himself.

Please, Sirius? I’ll never insult you again! Even if it is the truth! I pushed the notes back. Sirius smirked again and shook his head.

No. Mcgonagall then made us start working on a spell we learned in second year. Only now, we were doing it nonverbally. I stuck our notes into my transfiguration book. The bell couldn’t have rung fast enough. Sirius’s arm brushed mine as he headed towards James, Remus, and Peter. I met up with Lily and Kirsten.

“Potions with the Slytherins next, right?” I asked. Lily nodded and started to lead the way to her favorite class with her least favorite teacher. Slughorn was like in love with Lily because of her skills in potion making. It was funny, actually.

“At least if we have to sit in alphabetical order in that class I don’t have to sit by Sirius again. He is the most distracting person I have ever had to sit by!” I said pushing my curls, that freed themselves from my ribbon, out of my face.

“How was he distracting, Libby?” Kirsten asked, “I mean, before you asked I was watching him and he was actually quiet for a change. After you asked, I could see why. What were you writing to one another?”

“He was asking why he was distracting,” I said quickly, “Which is because he doesn’t sit still and plays with things and it’s just annoying,”

“Right. I bet he was just trying to get your attention,” Kirsten smirked.

“Nope,” I said shaking my head, “He wasn’t. He doesn’t like me. He didn’t send me the roses,”

“How do you know?” Kirsten asked, her eyes suspicious.

“Because he asked me if I have any idea who ‘this sappy romantic’ sending me ‘corny love notes’ is. In those words,” I said putting quotations around the phrases Sirius used.


“So, why would he insult himself? He’s obsessed with his reflection!” I said.

“Geez,” Lily said rolling her eyes, “Libby for someone who doesn’t like Sirius very much, you sure do go out of your way with him lately. And Kirsten, drop the whole ‘Sirius likes Libby’ thing. It’s getting annoying!”

We both shut up for the rest of the walk down to the dungeons for double potions. Once we entered the potions room, I looked around. There was a sign on the board telling us to stand in the back of the classroom and wait for instruction. The whole class squeezed onto the back wall. The Slytherins were getting impatient and wanted to rest their pureblooded feet.

Finally, Professor Slughorn burst into the room. He strode to the front and grinned at us all. For being the head of Slytherin, he was very nice and not at all obnoxious. Of course, he focused his life on trying to get fame and popularity from others who work for it and he has really good connections and favors really badly with this whole Slug Club crap, but otherwise, he wasn’t all that bad.

“Welcome back!” he said, “I’m going to split you up into groups right away. This will be your permanent partner for the year. No switching! You’ll find a table with your partner and we’ll start the class! Okay, so let’s see. Lily Evans and Severus Snape . . . ”

Lily sucked in her breath. Snape. Figures Slughorn would put the two best potion makers in our year together. Lily shuffled over to the table Snape slammed his books down on. I felt bad for her, she was so pretty and smart and now stuck with a slimy, big nosed Slytherin. Poor girl. No one can get worse then that. I glanced at James. He looked pissed.

“Kirsten Meyer and Peter Pettigrew,” Kirsten slumped off. Everyone knew Peter’s skills in Potions.

“James Potter and, er, Samantha Orrin,” Samantha looked at Susan excitedly before swiftly going over to a table where James put his things down. She moved her chair closer to him.

More names were read off. Remus was forced to go with Susan, who had obviously been hoping for Sirius. Frank Longbottom was put with Narcissa Black, to his dismay. The rest of the Slytherins were partnered together and my heart sank when I saw who was standing near the supply cabinets with a smirk.

“And Libby Cullen and Sirius Black! Well, this works out perfectly!” Slughorn grinned, “Now, remember, who you are sitting by now is going to be your partner all year long! To get used to working with your partner, we’re going to make a simple potion: the Silencing Potion. Directions are on the board. Begin,” He went into his office.

Sirius went to collect the ingredients as I started the fire under the cauldron. Kirsten was watching me with a little smile. I glared at her and got out some things we’ll need for the potion. Then I saw Lily and Snape. Already chopping and crushing the ingredients, not saying a word except for what they were doing. Sirius was back.

“Why is it that you always seem to be around me now?” Sirius asked putting the ingredients on the table. I stared at him.

“I really have no idea. I feel like everyone is forcing me to talk to you and do things with you,” I said sighing and beginning to chop up the caterpillars.

“No kidding,” Sirius said as he started to smash the ginger roots, “The other night James was telling me that I should ask you to Hogsmeade or something.”

“You can’t be serious,” I said rolling my eyes. Sirius grinned.

“Actually, I am,” he said. For a minute I couldn’t understand why he was smiling and then I laughed too. We were quiet for a moment as we continued to smash and chop the ingredients. Then Sirius said, “So will you?”

“Will I what?” I asked, confused.

“Go to Hogsmeade with me?” Sirius blurted out. Then added quickly, “Not like a date, but as friends. I mean, it’s going to be James and Lily’s first real date and he’s nervous so he thought we could double, but he wanted one of Lily’s friends there, too, and because Kirsten kind of threw herself at me and I’m sort of scared of her, I decided to ask you . . . instead,”

“So, what, it would be just as friends?” I confirmed putting the caterpillars into my cauldron. Sirius nodded as he waited a minute before adding the roots.

“Yeah. What do you say?” Sirius said, he wouldn’t meet my gaze.

I hesitated before answering. The first Hogsmeade weekend has yet to be announced, but it would probably be at the end of the month, beginning October. It would be cool to go to Hogsmeade with a guy. But I felt like Lily and James’s first date should be on their own. This whole nervous thing was ridiculous, considering how he and Lily have been alone a lot and are pretty much together. Neither has to impress the other. Besides, I wasn’t so sure about going with Sirius.

Maybe I should just say yes, for James and Lily’s sake. I opened my mouth to reply, but hesitated once more. James, who was sitting behind us, was listening intently to the conversation, but pretending to be working on his potion. I knew him to well to know he wasn’t concentrating all that hard. It was a set up so Sirius and I would be forced together again.

And I almost fell for it.

“Actually, Sirius, as much as I would want to be there for James and Lily, I’m afraid I wasn’t planning on going to the first Hogsmeade weekend. Not yet, anyways,” I said. The disappointment on Sirius’s face was obvious. Almost as if he really did like me. Could he? “I’m sorry,” I added softly.

“It’s fine,” Sirius said, his voice sounded forced, “Don’t worry about it,”

“Sirius! Don’t!” I said pulling his arm back, he looked at me, confused, “The ginger roots go in after we mix in Frog Brains!”

“Oh...oh yeah,” Sirius said, seeing his mistake. I let his arm go and he added the frog brains, “You know, potions are sort of gross,” he began, “With frog brains, beatle eyes, rat spleen, and so on. I mean, people drink this stuff,”

“It is gross, now that you mention it,” I said making a face at our potion, which was a bit lighter then the navy blue color the board said it should be. I put three drops of Salamander blood into the potion and it turned bright purple.

“I never really liked potions,” Sirius went on, “Reminds me of cooking. I hate cooking,”

“I don’t care for it either. Too much work. I’d rather order a Muggle pizza and have it brought to my door,” I smiled, glancing at James, who was now arguing with Samantha about how many drops of blood she added, and said “James and I used to do that all the time. Haven’t done it in a while,”

“You two were close?” Sirius said, looking at me intensely. We were waiting for our potion to simmer for a while.

“Yeah. He called me his sister he never had,” I said sadly.

“Sorry. That’s my fault,” Sirius said.

“Not at all. I never did much to keep our friendship strong, either,” I explained shrugging, “Anyways, why do you hate cooking?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s because of a time in the summer after first year. Mother was so mad at me for being sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. She and my father were cruel to me that summer. The worst was when my mother and I got into an argument about the Potters. She thought they were dirty blood-traitors and I thought they were the coolest. So, when the hag I call a mother lost her temper, she grabbed a spatula from the stove where our house elf was cooking and hit me with it, while it was still burning hot. It was the worst and while I cowered in the corner of the kitchen, I remember my mother laughing and turning to my brother, Regulus, saying ‘Spatulas aren’t used for just cooking.’” Sirius shuddered at the memory, “It was horrible and I keep thinking about that moment whenever cooking or potions come to mind. I guess you can say I have a phobia of kitchen utensils and avoid them at all costs.”

Honestly, I was shocked a mother could treat her child that way. To hate a kid because of whom he hung out with and to beat him because he wasn’t like them? That was cruel. I suddenly knew where Sirius had gotten those bruises from this summer.

“Did she beat you this summer, too?” I asked. Sirius didn’t meet my eyes again and I went on, “You’re so much stronger then her, though, aren’t you?”

“Not if she has help,” Sirius said, “My father does most of it now. This summer I finally had enough and ran away. They weren’t going to let me go to James’s house this summer. They threatened to lock me in the basement with the rats until school starts again. Probably hoping I’d die down there. But after my dad started beating me, I ran for it. Packed my things and left the house. I’m living with James permanently now,”

“So we’re neighbors,” I laughed. Sirius smiled his crooked smile. Stupid dimple.

“I guess we are,” he said.

We finished our potion, adding a few more ingredients and stirring it some more. It was a double period and we still had a little more then a half hour left, but we were done, along with Lily and Snape. I put a sample of the potion in a flask and brought it up to where Professor Slughorn had instructed. As I walked back, Sirius and James, who were whispering to each other, turned away from each other. It looked like they were arguing over something. I let it slide, not caring.

“Poor Lily, huh?” Sirius said looking at Lily reading at her table. Snape was leaning as far as possible from her.

“Yes, poor Lily,” I agreed.

“Stupid git will probably poison her if they ever have to test on their partners,” Sirius said, under his breath.

“I don’t know. That might be too obvious,” I said pursing my lips. I didn’t like knowing that was possible.

“I guess. Lily’s to smart anyways, she knows the difference between the potion she has to try and a poison,” Sirius said. Then, quite suddenly it was startling, he grinned, “Hey, wanna make something blow up in his face?”

“Uh, I dunno,” I said frowning, “I’m not one to enjoy getting in trouble,”

“You’re no fun,” Sirius pouted. I rolled my eyes, he looked like such a kid pouting, with his arms across his chest. Suddenly, the look changed. “Please?” he said giving me the puppy dog face. Oh no. It was so convincing.

“Fine, but you’re taking the blame,” I snapped, angry that I had given in.

“That I can do,” Sirius laughed. He watched Snape for a minute. The cauldron on the table was still filled with potion, even though they had already turned in their sample. Sirius shook his head and turned to James, “Prongs, call Lily over asking for help,”

“Why?”James asked. I don’t know how, but Sirius must have told James exactly what we were planning to do because James smirked and called, “Lily Flower!”

“Yes?” Lily asked turning around. The entire room looked their way.

“We need help with our potion,” James whined, making a big show out of it. Samantha looked confused and eyed the potion which was simmering on the fire only slightly darker then what the board said. Lily couldn’t see that, though, and walked over. As soon as she started peaking into the cauldron, Sirius pulled his wand out.

“Watch the master, Libs,” he said winking at me. Pointing his wand at the cauldron across the room, he whispered a spell. For a minute, nothing happened, then the potion began to boil. Snape, noticing this, put his potions book he was scribbling in away and peered into the cauldron. The fire was off so he couldn’t understand what was happening. Then–


The potion exploded, drenching Snape’s head and shoulders. Everyone jumped and looked towards the source of the noise. Sirius quickly pocketed his wand and laughed with the rest of the Gryffindors. Snape was angry, his face turning red. He spun towards Sirius as Slughorn came out of his office, searching for the source of the noise. He gasped at Snape.

“Severus! What happened?” he gasped pulling out his wand and cleaning off the greasy Slytherin.

“Black, Cullen, and Potter,” Snape spat. I was shocked he had said my name in there with Sirius and James’s.

“What?” Slughorn looked at us sternly. He really had no idea what we could have done.

“Please, sir, Libby had nothing to do with it,” Sirius said, “None of us did. I was sitting here talking to Libby about, uh . . . ”

“We were talking about what the new Defense teacher must be like. We are curious to meet her,” I stepped in, “We were just as surprised when Snape’s potion exploded as the rest of the class. As for James, he’s still working on his potion and just needed Lily’s help. We did nothing,” I added innocently. I kept my face blank as Slughorn decided whether to believe me or his best student.

“Well, I guess if no harm was done. Silencing potions are very safe,” Slughorn explained, “Do be more careful next time, Severus,” He hustled back into his office.

“Wow,” Sirius said smirking at me, “I thought you were going to make me take the blame.”

“What? Something that stupid could easily pass for an accident.” I said smiling, “You would have gotten into trouble for something stupid,”

“Right,” Sirius said, “What happened to,” He raised his voice really high and said, “I’m not one to enjoy getting in trouble,”

“Well I’m not,” I said. The bell rang a few minutes later. I collected my things and swung my bag over my shoulder. Kirsten and Lily met me by the door.

“So,” Kirsten said, “You looked very comfortable talking to Sirius in there,”

“I was. He’s not too bad when he isn’t making fun of me,” I explained, “Actually, it’s sort of nice to talk to him,”

“Aw, I think our Libby is finally beginning to see the good side of Sirius Black,” Kirsten smiled and pinched my cheeks.

“Go away,” I said. There was no argument with her words. I was seeing a whole new Sirius and I liked his new side.

The rest of the day past in a blur. I wasn’t forced to sit next to Sirius in any other classes and we didn’t have Defense. Though, we did hear that the new teacher was totally awesome and really knew her stuff. I was highly disappointed that I didn’t get to see her till after lunch tomorrow. For a double period! Instead, I went through Divination and Herbology. I took a quick shower after Herbology because smelling like Dragon dung was not cool.

Afterwards, I went down to dinner to eat before I started my homework. Professor Mcgonagall barely even taught today and we had an essay to write, Potion questions to answer for Slughorn, and a drawing to do in Herbology. I suppose it could be worse. I just didn’t like thinking I had homework to do.

My hair was still damp when I entered the Great Hall. I had changed out of my school uniform as many others had and made my way to the Gryffindor table. Kirsten and Lily joined me shortly afterwards.

“Our first day is over,” Lily said taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

“We’re getting old,” Kirsten said pouring herself a glass, “We’re getting old and I don’t like it,”

“I wish we could freeze time and be 16 forever,” I said smiling.

“You’re not 16 yet,” Lily pointed out, “Not until October,”

“Rub it in, why don’t you?” I snapped. But they knew I wasn’t mad because I was grinning at them with a mouth full of food.

“Lily! Kirsten! Libby!” Peter came running into the Great Hall as fast as his legs can carry him. We all looked up, frowns on our faces.

“What?” I asked.

“James . . . and Sirius...” Peter began, panting.

A/N: Finally got this chapter up. It made me happy since I'm not having a good first few days of high school(no friends. screwed up schedule). So, if you would be so kind and help me put a smile on my face, please review right below in that box. I want to hear your thoughts; what was good? bad? what should I work on?

Chapter 5: She's Not Just a Pretty Face
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling and the song lyrics are from Shania Twain's CD Up!

Chapter Five
She’s Not Just a Pretty Face

No, she's (she's) not (not)--
just a pretty face
She's (she's) got (got)--everything it takes
She's--not--just a pretty face
She's got everything it takes
She's not just a pretty face

---Shania Twain "She's Not Just a Pretty Face"

“Spit it out, Peter!” I snapped.

“They’re . . . dueling with . . . Slytherins . . . it’s getting nasty . . . ” Peter gasped, still needing air. Lily, Kirsten, and I were suddenly on our feet and out of the Great Hall.

We climbed a few floors and found Sirius, James, and Remus dueling with Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, and Severus Snape. Lestrange and Bellatrix and Malfoy were 7th years. And mean. Sure enough, the duel was really bad. I immediately joined the battle, stopping a spell from hitting Sirius. He glanced at me and smiled. I smiled back and threw a curse at Bellatrix.

Kirsten joined in shortly afterwards, but Lily hung back. She was a prefect. She should be stopping this. It was so bad that she couldn’t. Unless she joined us. Instead, she ran off, probably in search of a teacher. I ducked a jinx sent my way by Snape and shot one right back. It hit Snape, but he jumped back up, boils appearing all over his body.

Then one voice was heard above them all. Lestranges. It was deep, threatening, and not at all welcoming. His wand was pointed straight at me and one word was coming out of his mouth. One word that made everyone pause and stare in the split second he began to speak. Everything seemed to freeze, one word echoing through the hall, “Crucio!”

“Stop!” another voice commanded. The voice must have blocked the Unforgivable Curse because I felt no pain. I just stood there in shock. The duel just almost turned into something three times as bad.

“Are you crazy?” the same voice snapped. I looked at the speaker to see Regulus Black, Sirius’s brother, pushing his way past us Gryffindors and stood in front of Lestrange. He looked pissed as he continued, “Using an Unforgivable in school?! You can get expelled and thrown into Azkaban for that, you moron! Even if you weren’t in school, Azkaban would be glad to take you in. Do you have any idea how much trouble you can get into?”

“Geez, Regulus,” Lestrange said, looking around at the empty corridor, “Who would know?”

“Everyone in this corridor!” Regulus snapped. The older Slytherins looked a bit freaked out by the 5th year’s anger. He turned towards the rest of the Slytherins, “Evans just ran to get a teacher. If they heard screams of agony, they would know!” He turned towards us and then back at the Slytherins, going back and forth, “All of you are stooping to a low level. Dueling like that is ridiculous. And for what reason? Because Sirius blew up a potion in Severus’s face? Big deal! That’s between Severus and Sirius, not all ten of you! How immature can you get?”

“Don’t be lecturing me about maturity, Regulus,” Sirius snapped angrily, standing up straighter.

“Shut up, Sirius, I just saved your little girlfriend,” Regulus countered.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sirius gasped.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I said at the same time.

“There, Professor!” Lily’s voice came. Mcgonagall came from around the corner with Lily. Her eyes narrowed when she saw the scene before her.

“What is this?” she asked, “You all know very well that magic is not prohibited in corridors. Dueling nonetheless. That’s detentions for all of you. Two each. I’ll be getting to each of you on the time and date,”

“Professor—,” Regulus began realizing that this meant him, too.

“No, Mr. Black, no excuses,” Mcgonagall snapped.

“Regulus didn’t do anything,” I said quickly, “He just broke it up,”

Mcgonagall paused for a minute, thinking. Then shook her head, “Then leave, Regulus,” he nodded and ran and Mcgonagall looked at us again, “6th years and 7th years. All old enough to know the rules. Dueling for a stupid reason, I believe? You should all be ashamed. Now go. To your common rooms or dinner. Now!”

I wanted to go back and eat, but I knew Mcgonagall would be going back there, so I headed towards the Gryffindor common room. Kirsten, Lily, James, and Remus headed back towards the Great Hall. Sirius caught up with me. I ignored him at first. Then Sirius sighed loudly and looked at me.

“What made you come running?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I shrugged, “Peter came running into the Great Hall all freaked out so I figured that you needed help. It was three against five. Not a fair fight considering three of the Slytherins were 7th years,”

“I guess,” Sirius shrugged. Then he frowned, “Oi! Regulus, get over here!”

Regulus was walking down the staircase we were walking by. By how close he was to us, I knew he had waited at the corner to see what Mcgonagall had to say to us all. He stopped and turned around. When he saw it was Sirius, he bit his lip in hesitation. Then turned and started up the stairs again. He looked just like Sirius almost. Gorgeous, tall, dark, strong, and probably had three smiles. He was different too. Like, his eyes weren’t a light grey like Sirius’s. They were a deep brown that looked peaceful. His hair was shorter, though he was tall, he was still a bit shorter then Sirius. And he still had a bit of a boyish look to him. Like you could tell he didn’t shave yet and had some kid like features to him. That was expected. He probably wasn’t even 15 yet.

“What do you want?” Regulus snapped.

“To ask why you stopped the duel? Why not join your little group?” Sirius asked. Regulus rolled his eyes.

“They aren’t my little group, Sirius,” Regulus explained, “They are people Mother forces me to talk to. Except Severus Snape. I only talk to him because he helps me with potions. And I only stopped the duel because Cullen here was about to be put under the Cruciatus Curse, if your small mind has already forgotten,”

“Why save a Gryffindor? What was in it for you?” Sirius snapped.

“Nothing! I had been watching the duel for a while. Besides, have you ever been put under one of Lestranges Cruciatus Curses? Not fun. Not fun at all,” Regulus shivered.

“You’ve been under it?” I gasped. Regulus looked at me.

“Yes. He was trying to impress Bellatrix and was showing off to Narcissa and Lucius. I just happened to be walking past the drawing room when they were on the topic,” Regulus shrugged, “No big deal. He got in trouble already,”

“It is to a big deal!” Sirius said, “When did this happen?”

“After you left,” Regulus muttered, looking away, “Everything changed after you left. Mother was so angry and Father started yelling at me for every little thing. Bella and Narcissa are horrible. It’s like everyone is taking their shame and anger out on me,”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said.

“Don’t be. I don’t need your pity,” Regulus sneered, “It’s my problem and I’ll deal with it. How was the rest of your summer, anyways?”

“Better,” Sirius grinned showing me that stupid dimple, “Much better, actually,”

“That’s good,” Regulus said. Then he grinned to. Oh no. He had two dimples. I didn’t think it was possible, but he could give Sirius’s smile a run for his money. I felt my knees go weak and I had to grab onto Sirius to keep from falling over.

“Libby? Are you okay?” Sirius asked, grabbing hold of my arm. I looked at Regulus and before I could myself, I spoke.

“Please, Regulus, don’t smile,” I said weakly. Color rose up Regulus’s neck and into his cheeks. He couldn’t help but smile again.

“Why?” Sirius asked, looking a bit jealous.

“I’m a sucker for dimples,” I admitted, blushing. Sirius grinned now too and I kept my eyes directed at me feet. I knew my face was probably redder then a tomato. This was so embarrassing.

“Really now?” Sirius went on. He crossed his arms across his chest.

“Oh, shut up, Sirius,” I snapped looking at him, “I bet there’s something about me that makes you crazy,”

“My smile makes you crazy, now, does it?” Sirius looked delighted by this piece of information and I was shocked at myself for even telling him that.

“Oh, go away!” I snapped. Regulus laughed. I had forgotten he was there for the time being. His dimples were mocking me. Angrily, I turned around and marched towards the Gryffindor common room. Might as well do my homework to get Sirius out of my head.

“Come on, Libs!” Sirius called after me. I heard him mutter a good bye to Regulus and then he fell in step beside me, “It’s not like I think of you any less or more. Who can resist Sirius Black?”

“You are so full of yourself,” I muttered.

“I bet if I told you something that you do that drives me crazy, you’ll make fun of me,” Sirius pointed out, “Just to get back at me,”

“Yeah, but what about me and my horrifying face can drive you, Mr. Lady’s Man, crazy? Besides, just because I have a thing for dimples, doesn’t make me attracted to you. I just like your smile,” we walked up to the Fat Lady, “Dilly Dally,” The portrait swung open, but neither Sirius nor I went in.

“So you think—because you are a little bit more modest about your appearance then some of the girls in this place—that you can’t drive some guys crazy?” Sirius looked shocked by that. I rolled my eyes.

“I doubt I can,” I said. I was about to walk into the common room when I heard my name. I turned around and saw Ben Carlson and his best friend Jeremy Day.

Jeremy was short and a bit on the round side when he first came to school, but he was an excellent Beater. Over the years, he lost his fat and was sort of buff now. All the guy did was eat and all those calories and working out so much gave him muscle. Too much for me to handle. Jeremy was okay looking, with blond hair and dark blue eyes. He had a skin condition and was still pretty short compared to other guys. Tall to me.

“Oh, hi,” I said. Sirius hung back, eyeing the Ravenclaw boys.

“I was looking for you at dinner,” Ben said, “You weren’t there,”

“I was, but I left pretty quickly,” I explained. Ben smiled. Too bad he didn’t have dimples, otherwise he would be absolutely perfect.

“Oh. How come?” Ben asked, seeming to want to keep a conversation going. With an angry sigh, the Fat Lady shut herself. Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight to one foot.

“Uh, there was another place I needed to be,” I shrugged not sure that I should be passing around that a huge duel between Gryffindor and Slytherin had taken place. It wasn’t like it was for any good reason.

“Well, I just wanted to see how your first day of classes went,” Ben continued.

“Classes were okay. Not too bad,” I said, “Did you have Defense today?”

“Yeah, we did,” Ben grinned, “Professor Humphrey is awesome. She really knows her stuff and she’s really nice, too. She’s still young enough to be able to interact with us, you know?”

“What do you mean ‘interact’?” Sirius asked before I could open my mouth. I glared at him. He shouldn’t be here listening to my conversation with Ben. And if he is going to, he has no right to talk. Jeremy isn’t talking or adding his little comments. Ben seemed surprised at Sirius for speaking, too.

“I mean, like, talk to us. Make us feel comfortable having a conversation with her. She understands us,” Ben said as if it were obvious. He turned back to me, “You’re still taking Charms, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” I said, smiling. Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had charms class together.

“Great, I’ll see you in class tomorrow then,” Ben smiled, “I gotta go right now. Lots of homework. See you,”

“Bye,” I smiled. Once he and Jeremy had gone, I turned back around and saw Sirius frowning at me, “What?” I asked.

“He likes you,” he said.

“So what?” I said, my heart speeding up with hope, “Dilly Dally,”

“You were dilly dallying alright,” the Fat Lady muttered swinging back open. I entered the common room, Sirius right behind me.

“Were you completely blind to the way he was checking you out?” Sirius asked, “I think he wants to get in your pants,”

“Oh, stop being such a over protective prat,” I said, “We’re barely friends, why do you care what I do?”

“Wait. You like Carlson?” Sirius asked. I sat down at the table I had put my books down at and pulled out my Herbology book. It was the easiest assignment so far.

“So what if I do?” I asked opening up my bottle of purple ink.

“Well, I don’t like him and I think you should stay away from him,” Sirius said. I stared at Sirius for a minute.

“You can’t be serious, Mother. You are going to warn me to stay away from another guy because you don’t like him? Sirius, you barely even know him!” I said, flabbergasted.

“I don’t need to know him. He was giving you all these signals!”


“Yes, ones that I give girls when I want to have a good snog with them!”

I stared at Sirius for a minute. Our voices were steadily getting louder and louder and the few people in the common room were eyeing us. They were listening to every word. I took a nice, deep breath, trying to calm myself before I continued.

“If I didn’t know you better, Sirius, I would think you’re jealous,” I said in an undertone.

“Jealous?” Sirius repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“Because I like Ben and not you,” I said.

“No, no, no. Sirius Black does not get jealous,” Sirius shook his head. Then he stood up and went up to his dormitory.

I stared after him for a minute, wondering. Could Sirius be jealous, or was he just being a prat and trying to piss me off? Homework. I needed to do my homework. I couldn’t think about Sirius right now. Or what he said about Ben liking me. That was impossible. The guys I like never like me back. I picked up my quill and started to work. My mind concentrating on the drawing before me. I relaxed after a while.


I wished I had gone back down to dinner before, because I was starving. It was after two o’clock in the morning. My stomach kept growling as I rolling in my bed, trying to ignore thoughts of ice cream, pudding, chocolate, and all these other food I can eat a whole lot of. Finally, I decided to just go down to the kitchens and have an ice cream Sunday or some hot chocolate. Then I can go back to bed with a full stomach.

I put on some sweat pants over my shorts and went downstairs in my tank top. The halls were dark, and I had my wand, just in case. The school had a tendency of being too eerie when the sun went down, I liked it. The moon and stars usually shone through the windows and lit up the grounds. I’ve always liked the night time.

My footsteps were silent as I walked. Not a sound in the school. Once I made it to the picture of the fruits, I tickled the pear. I would never have discovered the kitchens if it weren’t for James. He showed them to me in our second year a few hours after he discovered it with Sirius. I was glad he had shown me and didn’t keep me in the dark. I entered the kitchens and was surprised to hear people were already there. I listened quietly.

“—new plan. Do what I did to get Lily,” one voice said.

“I’m not going to ask her out for five years. And I’m not going to get a truth out of her, besides I told you, she likes someone else. She’s so different. Totally not just a pretty face,” another voice sounded stressed and dreamy.

“Then what are you going to do? You can’t keep doing what you are already doing. It isn’t working,” a third sighed, sounding frustrated.

“It was. The just being nice to her thing, I mean,” the second voice said. There was a moment of silence.

“We can’t help you, mate. You have to figure this out on your own,” the third voice spoke. Then there was a gasp, “Libby is in the doorway, I think.”

I bit my lip in anger of getting caught, then decided that I was just going to pretend that I hadn’t heard a word the Marauders were saying and that I just walked in. So, putting a smile on, I walked through. The four boys looked uncomfortable, a roll of parchment spread out between them with quills and ink. Remus was doing something with his wand. I just sat down at the table between James and Remus. Across from Sirius. Damn, now I had to stare at him.

“Hey!” I said.

“Hi,” James muttered.

“What?” I asked, “Did I walk in on something?”

“Yes,” Sirius snapped.

“We can get back to it later, though,” Remus said, throwing a glare at Sirius. He looked at me more softly, “What are you doing down here anyways?”

“I didn’t eat dinner,” I said simply. A house elf walked up to me and curtseyed. I smiled. I liked house elves.

“What can Lolly get you, Miss?” she asked in her squeaky voice. I hesitated before answering. The ice cream that the Marauders were eating looked quite good, but did I want ice cream?

“Hot chocolate and one of those giant chocolate chip cookies please,” I said instead. The house elf nodded and walked off with another curtsey. I turned back to the boys, “What are you four doing down here? Midnight snack after a prank?”

“Nope, we are planning the prank for tomorrow night,” James said leaning back in his chair, “Slytherins will least expect it even though they are waiting for us to do something to them already. We came down here for other reasons, too.”

“Which are?” I urged.

“None of your business,” Sirius snapped again. I looked at him with a frown.

“What has your panties in a bunch?” I asked.

“You,” Sirius muttered sulkily.

He crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. I raised an eyebrow. Even when pouting he looked to good to be real. Sirius was glaring at a crack in the table and I found I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Luckily, Lolly returned with my snack and I was able to turn away. I bit my lip as I stirred my hot cocoa. All five of us sat in silence. After taking a sip, I stood.

“Where are you going?” Sirius asked almost immediately. I didn’t even look at him as I started to walk out.

“Back to my dorm. You obviously don’t want me here,” I said, having no idea why I wanted Sirius to want me to sit with them.

I let the portrait close behind me and I headed back towards the common room, angry. Who cared what Sirius thought? Who cared that he was talking to his friends about some girl who didn’t like him? Who cared?

I heard footsteps behind me. I stopped and turned to see Sirius coming after me. Git. Not wanting to talk to Sirius right now, I kept walking. He could chase me through the school, I wasn’t speaking with him. I realized I had quickened my pace. All the better if it takes Sirius a while longer to come after me. The footsteps got louder.

“Libby, wait!” he called. I didn’t stop. I didn’t look back. I just looked forward and ignored him. Suddenly, Sirius was right next to me. I didn’t look at him, but he looked distressed as he walked next to me, “Please, Libby. I’m sorry. I know I acted like a total prat before with Carlson and I know I was just an idiot in the kitchens. I’m not used to this, okay?”

I stopped and looked at Sirius.

“Not used to what? Girls looking at someone besides you?” I snapped. Damn. I wasn’t supposed to talk.

“No! God, Libby, you make me sound like some player that the world revolves around!” Sirius said running a hand through his hair and turning away from me. He took a few steps from me towards the window.

“That’s how you made yourself out as, Sirius. Snogging girls at random, dating a few of the ones you thought were the best. You’re reputation with the girls isn’t as great as many guys would like,” I explained and began to walk away again. Sirius followed me.

“You wanna know why I snog girls at random?” Sirius asked, then went on without waiting for an answer, “Because I’m lonely. I want a girl’s company. James has Lily. Remus said he’s never going to get married, but I bet he finds love with someone anyways. Peter, well, you know Peter. He almost wets his pants when a girl so much as looks at him. But no matter what I do, I feel like no girl will ever know who I really am. Behind the pranks and the Quidditch and the snogging. Every girl I go out with goes out with me for a snog, and hopefully something more so they can break up with me afterwards and tell their friends. Then sometimes, like the random snogging, I just need someone there. I don’t care who,” Sirius didn’t look me in the eye at all while talking. He stared straight ahead and I have a feeling he hadn’t even told James this.

“Why can’t you just talk to them? You don’t need to snog them for that type of company,” I said softly. I was sorry I had gotten mad now for such a ridiculous reason.

“Like I said, I never met a girl that wanted to actually know me,” Sirius muttered, “They just throw themselves at me and then it gets all crazy,” We were at the portrait now, “Dilly Dally”

I walked in and was about to go up the staircase when I turned around and looked at Sirius. He had seated himself on the scarlet sofa, looking pathetic. I wanted to punch myself for feeling sorry for Sirius. He could be lying about the whole thing and just want to get a good snog. But something told me there was more to this Sirius Black then he was letting on. I sighed.

“Hey, Sirius,” I said, walking over.

“What?” he mumbled. I broke off half of my giant chocolate cookie that I loved so much. I handed it to him.

“Have some cookie,” I said, “And next time you need some company, look for me,” Sirius looked up at me, shocked, and I knew what he was thinking. I smiled softly, “I promise I won’t throw myself at you,”

Sirius stared for a moment longer and then, slowly, a small smile crept onto his face. That crooked smile. His dimple was taunting me again. He took the half of the cookie I was holding out to him. Then I turned and went upstairs to bed, still sipping my still-hot cocoa. My insides already felt warm.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update and I hope you weren't disappointed with the cliffie from the last chapter. I just thought that would be fun, hehe. And I didn't know how else to end the chapter while writing this.

Anyways, I think I caught all my errors, but if I didn't please review in that neat little box below and tell me what you think. What's good? bad? needs to be fixed? Please, no ideas for the plot. I'm in the process of writing the last few chapters right now and will completely ignore your ideas. Use them for your own stories.

Thanks to all of you who reviewed past chapters! I love you all!! Hopefully, updates will be quicker!! I've completely finished typing this up. Serious, I have. For those of you whole like to know the length of stories, this will be 30 chapters. No more, no less.

Chapter 6: Haters
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Jo and the lyrics are from Hilary Duff.

Chapter Six

Traitors to the human race
What a drag, what a waste
I'd like to see them disappear
They don't belong anywhere
Haters, haters, haters, haters

---Hilary Duff "Haters"

Lily was practically skipping to Charms. She was so excited. The first charms lesson of the year . . . joy. I didn’t like Charms. It wasn’t that I wasn’t good at it, and it was a very, very useful class, but Professor Flitwick’s squeaky voice got on my nerves and I had more fun in Defense and Transfiguration. Lily, on the other hand, loved charms more then potions.

Today, however, I was looking forward to Charms. Ben was going to talk to me, I knew, and I had spent a good deal of time getting ready this morning. I was excited now. Kirsten, was a bit more reluctant to go to Charms. It has never been her best subject. And certain charms brought back certain memories we all wish to forget.

We walked into the Charms room and James called Lily over. He had asked her to sit with him during class. Kirsten went to follow, but I held her back. Peter and Remus were already seating themselves on either side of a very happy Lily and James. Kirsten and I took a seat at the closet table and a second later, Sirius was sitting next to me, grinning, and Ben Carlson was on my other side. Kirsten was next to Ben, looking very smug for some reason. I groaned inwardly.

“Hey,” I said to Ben after a forced smile at Sirius.

“Hi,” Ben grinned. He looked over my shoulder at Sirius and said in an undertone, “Is there something I should know about between the two of you?” Sirius snickered. His hearing was too good.

“No!” I gasped, “We’re barely friends, don’t worry about him. He’s like a lost puppy. Give him food and he’s attached,” Ben gave me a weird look and I quickly explained, “I gave him a cookie last night,”

“And it was very yummy, I must say,” Sirius grinned leaning over, “I think it’s my new regular when I take a trip down to the kitchens,”

Luckily, we didn’t have to respond to that comment because Professor Flitwick began class. He lectured us for ten minutes about the importance of this year and next year and what we will need to learn. Then, he started the day’s lesson. Finally.

“Does anyone know what the Patronus Charm is?” the professor squeaked. I didn’t have to turn around to know Lily’s hand shot up. Flitwick looked around the class and eyed me. I looked away and prayed he wouldn’t call on me. I knew the answer, but I hated answering questions when I didn’t want to.

“Mr. Black,” Flitwick said seeing Sirius was doodling on the corner of my parchment. He didn’t have his own out and just grabbed my quill and ink when I put them down. He is seriously a kid.

“The Patronus Charm is the only thing that can fend off Dementors. When conjured correctly, it’s like a shield between you and the Dementor. Each Patronus is unique to each wizard,” Sirius answered monotonously, barely looking up, but he stopped doodling.

“Very good,” Flitwick beamed, “Now, the proper incantation for....”

I tilted my head to see what Sirius was drawing and was surprised to see a dog, shaded in half way to be black. Written underneath it was the words Just a lost puppy. I glanced at Sirius, but he was now smiling at a few Ravenclaw girls at the other table. I rolled my eyes. Figures.

“Repeat after me, now,” Flitwick was saying, “Expecto Patronum,”

We repeated the words. After a few minutes, Flitwick was satisfied that we were able to remember the simple words. He split us into pairs. Luckily, I was with Ben! Sirius didn’t seem happy about that. He was partners with Stacey Murray, an odd, but nice, girls that obsessed over certain things. Like she was obsessive over this new band, the Weird Sisters, and most of all, Sirius Black. And when I say obsessive, I mean she can stare at Sirius for a year and still not be satisfied. I smirked as Sirius shuffled over to her.

“Okay, so, let’s see you give it a try,” Ben grinned, thrilled to be my partner, “Remember happy thoughts and Expecto Patronum. I’m the scary Dementor,”

“You’re not very scary,” I said raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, well, neither are you,” Ben pouted and I laughed, pushing out of my head the noticeable difference between the way Sirius made a pout look hot and Ben made a pout look, well, like a pout. Ben laughed, too. His laugh was nice. Not too high and not too deep. And it was loud. Much better then that bark of a laugh Sirius was stuck with.

“Okay, ready?” I asked putting my wand at the ready.

“Go for it,” Ben grinned.

Thinking of Ben’s smile I said, “Expecto Patronum!” For a minute, a pathetic cloud of silver vapor shot out of my wand. Then, it gave a pitiful flicker and was gone. I looked at Ben again and he was still smiling.

“You almost had something!” Flitwick said walking past me on his rounds, “Try it once more. This time, get a happier thought,”

I felt like an idiot with the teacher watching. I took a deep breath and thought about a happy moment. One came to me, but I didn’t want to use it. Time was ticking and Flitwick was waiting. I raised my wand once more and said, thinking of the happy thought, “Expecto Patronum!” This time, there was more of an effect. The vapor was back, but stronger and there was a shape to it. Hard to see, I squinted and saw a blurry figure of a dog, maybe. I watched with interest as it raised it’s head as if howling at a moon. A wolf, that’s what it was. A wolf. I smiled as the semi-Patronus died.

“Excellent! You almost had it!” Flitwick said bouncing, “Out of curiosity, what was the memory you chose?”

“Um, I’d really rather keep that to myself if you don’t mind, Professor,” I said blushing. I wasn’t even going to tell Lily and Kirsten or James that I had chosen the memory of that stupid kiss I shared with Sirius. I wanted to punch myself. I enjoyed it so much I was almost able to develop a full Patronus! Something way beyond the Ordinary Wizarding Level!

The rest of the hour was the same. I watched Ben struggle to keep the silver vapor around and I struggled with thinking of other happy thoughts and not having the same effect as the first. I even tried thinking of last night, talking with Sirius, that memory was stronger then the time when James and I first bought our wands. Every memory with Sirius seemed to have a stronger effect and make me happier. I didn’t like knowing that at all.

Finally, the class was over. I packed my things away while talking with Ben. He was very easy to talk to and funny. We were laughing when Sirius returned from a conversation with James and Remus. He shoved his stuff in his bag and swung it over his shoulder. He gave me a small smile and left.

“I would walk you to class, but I have Divination,” Ben said with a small smile.

“That’s fine. I understand,” I said. Ben hesitated for a minute and then, with a wave, left with his own friends. I met up with Kirsten. Lily had gone ahead with James.

“Ben Carlson?” Kirsten asked with a smile.

“What about him?” I countered.

“It’s so obvious that he likes you, Libby! I mean, just the way he looks at you and he was totally flirting with you!” Kirsten grinned, “He’s adorable, too!”

“Yeah, I know,” I said quietly. Kirsten’s eyes widened.

“Oh my, God, Libby!” she gasped, “That’s both Sirius Black and Ben Carlson that want you! This is so cool. You are going to have, like, two guys fighting over you!”

“Kirsten, Sirius doesn’t like me,” I said, a small voice in my head called me a liar.

“Sure, Libs, keep telling yourself that. Who would you choose, though? I think I would go for Sirius. He’s more risk taking and exciting, while Ben is more of the gentle, sweet type,” Kirsten went on. I rolled my eyes.

“I am barely getting through a friendship level with Sirius, Kirsten. Why would I choose him? For a good snog?” I asked. I remembered what Sirius said about girls throwing themselves at him. I figured that’s what Kirsten was talking about when saying he’s exciting.

“No!” Kirsten gasped, her eyes widening once more, “You like Ben Carlson! Like as more then a friend?”

“Sshh, not so loud,” I snapped looking around. The only people that were around us were Remus, Sirius and Peter, who were walking far behind us to our next class. Kirsten only smirked.

“Well, looks like Mr. Black finally isn’t going to get the girl,” she smiled, somewhat pleased, “I can catch him on the rebound!”

“Oh geez,” I said rolling my eyes. Kirsten giggled.

“What? I want some fun, too,” she said and laughed. I forced a dry laugh, myself. I believe this was exactly what Sirius was talking about the night before.


Care of Magical Creatures ended quickly and Professor Kettleburn had assigned us no homework. Something we all were grateful for. We all went to lunch, Kirsten still filling Lily in about my little crush on Ben and Sirius’s supposed little crush on me. Lily was shocked about Ben, but she rolled her eyes when Kirsten brought up Sirius.

“It’s getting, old Kirsten,” she said, “Leave Libby in peace and let Sirius show his own feelings,”

After lunch, all the Gryffindor sixth years were excited, looking forward to our first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson with Professor Humphrey. I was walking alone. Lily was once again with James and Kirsten disappeared when, Michael Lambert, a 7th year asked to talk to her. She gave me a giddy grin and left. I was looking down at my feet as I walked, trying to keep people from noticing me walking alone. Then someone was walking next to me.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said. I looked up and saw Sirius.

“Hello,” I said. We continued to walk, in silence. But not an awkward silence. Not awkward at all. I smiled to myself.

“I saw you almost conjured a Patronus,” Sirius said after a minute, “Impressive.”

“Thanks. It was pretty cool,” I said, grinning.

“Yeah, it was,” Sirius said, also smiling. Luckily, I was on his right side and that dimple was hidden from view. Sirius’s smile was dreamy nonetheless.

“What was that Ben saying?” Sirius asked, a hint of jealousy in his tone. I threw him a warning glance.

“Nothing. Why?” I replied.

“No reason,” Sirius shrugged, “He just really seems to show interest in you, is all. I just want you to be careful.”

“I’m a big girl, Sirius. I know how to take care of myself.” I explained.

“Yeah, but the memory of what happened last year still has ceased to leave my memory,” Sirius said. I stared at Sirius. He couldn’t seriously care about my welfare, could he?

The Defense room looked a lot different from the previous years. All the desks were cleared away to the side of the classroom, leaving a big empty space in the middle. There was a note on the board to form a circle in the cleared area. The other Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs had already seated themselves, excited and glowing. I searched for James and Lily, but they weren’t there. Instead, Sirius and I just sat down with Remus and Peter.

James and Lily enter seconds before the bell and sat down. Then Kirsten ran in, looking happy and flustered. She sat down next to me, smirking when she saw me sitting next to Sirius. I rolled my eyes at her, but didn’t say anything because Professor Humphrey walked in.

She was indeed young, maybe a few years older then ourselves. She had long black hair that went to her mid-back. Her wide eyes were a deep, deep brown and very warm and comforting. She was smiling, showing two rows of perfectly straight, white teeth. She was very tall, too. Maybe as tall as Lily. Of course, I couldn’t tell because I was on the floor and she sat herself between Remus and Sirius.

“Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts!” she said in a shockingly deep voice for a woman’s, “I’m Professor Humphrey,”

No one said anything. They just waited, staring at the professor. She grinned again and clapped her hands together.

“Okay, now, because I am terrible at names and want to remember as many as I can by the end of the month, we’re going to do a sort of game,” she said, everyone sat up straighter, interested, “Not the type of games you all are wanting to do. Now, we’re going to go around in a circle. You will state your name and everyone in the circle are will say something that you know about the person. Whether it’s as simple as their character, their physical traits, or something interesting you think everyone should know. I will not tolerate any rudeness from any of you. Does everyone understand?” Professor Humphrey looked around as everyone nodded or said yes. Then she smiled, “Okay then. How about you start,” She looked at Sirius, “State your first and last name and then we’ll go around in a circle starting with the girl next to you,”

“Okay then,” he grinned liking the fact that people were about to talk about him in a positive manner and that he was the first one to go, “Sirius Black,”

Now all eyes were on me. I hesitated, thinking what I should say about Sirius. I could flatter him or I could just say something that he’ll smirk at. However, I opened my mouth and was surprised to hear my voice say, “There’s a lot more to him then what meets the eye.”

Sirius looked surprised for a minute, too, but then smiled. I looked at Kirsten, who was sitting next to me. She didn’t hesitate when she stated that he was the best looking guy in Hogwarts without blushing. Then Lily said that he was quite funny to talk with. James grinned when it was his turn and said that Sirius was one of the best friends you can get. The circle went on and then it was Professor Humphrey’s turn. She grinned.

“I’m going to guess that you are a trouble maker?” she asked. Sirius grinned and nodded. Humphrey laughed, “Figures. Okay. Next name,”

“Libby Cullen,” I said sitting up straighter.

“You’re completely stubborn when it comes to a certain boy,” Kirsten said with a laugh. I gasped at her and rolled my eyes. Lily was next.

“Totally gorgeous and refuses to believe it,” she said. Again, I rolled my eyes, but this time I blushed.

“She’s the best sister in the world!” James laughed, “Even if we aren’t related,”

People were saying such nice things to me, even the Hufflepuffs who barely knew me. And then, it was Samantha Orrin’s turn. She had this smug smirk on her face as she looked at me and cleared her throat.

“Libby snogged Sirius Black this summer,” she said smirking. My jaw dropped and Sirius looked at the artificial blond, startled. The Hufflepuffs, who hadn’t been told and were never supposed to know, all gasped.

“We did not snog!” Sirius and I said at the same time. Whispers had started. Professor Humphrey frowned at Samantha.

“That was uncalled for,” She said, “Who snogs who is a personal matter and not appropriate to be announced in a classroom,”

“But we didn’t snog!” Sirius said looking at Samantha angrily, “It was a dare and a simple kiss,”

“It meant nothing!” I finished.

“Exactly,” Sirius said indifferently.

“Okay, well, we’ll keep going then,” Professor Humphrey said when everyone finally settled down. Now, it was Susan Orrin’s turn. She had an identical look on her face as her sister.

“Well, I believe that you think that those roses and love notes are from Sirius,” she smirked.

Everyone started whispering. The Marauders were glaring at the twins so hard and I was getting ready to cry. I never cry! Not since I was in the second year I only cry when things are really bad. Which isn’t often. The bitches. Lily and Kirsten looked so mad that I expected them to jump on the twins and scratch their eyes out.

“Again, inappropriate!” Professor Humphrey snapped. The whole room went quiet, “This game is for me to get to know all of you. I don’t care about love notes and who snogs who! Next time anyone mentions anyone’s love life, unless it is true and positive, we will go to the desks and do book work!”

The rest of the game went smoothly. I knew that the Hufflepuffs were going to tell everyone else about the “snog” between Sirius and me. I was going to end up sounding like one of the desperate girls that were part of Sirius’s fan club and desperate to snog Sirius again. The kiss between Sirius and me was obviously turned into a snog. People were going to think I was just another one of those unlucky girls that throw themselves at Sirius.

After class, I was so mad I decided I was going to skip Ancient Ruins and just sit in my dormitory. Lily of course disapproved and walked off shaking her head. I was going to ask James to hang out with me in the Common room, but he was already dragging Sirius off to Muggle studies. No one was going to hang out with me the guilt of missing my first Ancient Ruins class got to me and I ended up sitting in the classroom, fuming.

Fortunately, the class ended and I dragged myself up to my dormitory. I let myself fall onto the couch. I just laid there for a minute and my friends, knowing that I was not in the mood to talk, left me alone to sulk. A shadow was cast over me and I looked up to see a grinning Sirius. I wondered if he ever stopped smiling or if his face was permanently like that.

“Go away!” I mumbled.

“You care what other people think too much, Libby,” Sirius said sitting on the floor so he was level with my face. I stuck my tongue out at him and turned away.

“I do not,” I said.

“Yes you do. No one is going to care. I have such a reputation of snogging girls, people have lost interest,” Sirius said. I groaned.

“That’s why I don’t like the situation. People are going to think I’m one of those desperate girls,” I said. Sirius bit his lip, looking better then ever.

“Good point,” he said, “Sorry,”

“I think we should do something to Susan and Samantha,” I said sitting up. Sirius had to twist his body to look at me in the face again.

“Like...?” he had a mischievous glint in his eye.

“We could give them a really bad hair day,” I suggested, “Or hex their make-up so it goes on terribly, but looks perfect to them,”

“Let’s do both!” Sirius said, eyes getting wide with excitement, “We could make their hair refuse to lay flat, but not like Prongs’s. I know a spell that can make it look like a nest on top of their head! I think I might have a few hexes for the make up, too!”

“I know a few from all those Beauty spell books that Lily and Kirsten bought when they gave me a make over,” I said, those books could finally be put back to use. Sitting on the bottom shelf in my dormitory was causing them to gather dust.

“Excellent,” Sirius grinned, “When can we put the spell in action?”

“I say on the first Hogsmeade weekend!” I grinned evilly.

“Ooh, that’ll be interesting,” Sirius laughed. I had to laugh, too. It was not like me to want revenge on anybody or anything. But the Orrin twins get what they deserve. This has been coming to them for years.


“So, what did Michael Lambert want before?” I asked Kirsten later that night when she, Lily and I were doing homework in the Gryffindor common. My watch said it was past midnight.

“Oh, nothing really. He just wanted to see if I would go out with him,” Kirsten smiled. Michael spent a good deal of time last year talking to Kirsten whenever he could and just getting to know her. We all knew that he liked her and were just waiting for him to make a move.

“Kirsten! That’s great! What did you say?” Lily asked sitting up straighter.

“Yes, of course,” Kirsten grinned.

“I’m so happy for you,” I said to Kirsten, though she probably didn’t like Michael even half as much as he liked her.

“Well, now all we need is to get you to go out with Sirius or Ben and we won’t have to worry about you going to Hogsmeade alone!” Kirsten said laughing. I frowned when there was a tapping on the window. I turned around and saw an owl with a rose in it’s mouth. Excited, I jumped up to let the bird in.

It dropped the flower and letter in front of me and flew away. I picked it up and tore open the letter. I hadn’t gotten one today and was a bit disappointed. My hands shook as I read the message.

I can’t sleep. Thoughts of you just won’t leave me head. I wish I could hold you in my arms right now and never let go...

A/N: So, what did you all think? Was it good? bad? can i change something? Please, I want to hear anything you have to say.

Chapter 7: Smile Like You Mean It
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: It's all JK Rowlings. Lyrics performed by the Killers.

Chapter Seven
Smile Like You Mean It

Save some face, you know you've only got one
Change your ways while you're young
Boy, one day you'll be a man
Oh girl, he'll help you understand
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

--The Killers "Smile Like You Mean It"

Before I knew it, we were entering out third week of school. I got into the routine of waking up early without a stupid alarm clock and being able to get ready faster. It took a while, but I got used to having to sit next to Sirius in almost every class and we were now definitely friends. He seemed to be lingering close by all the time and I began calling him my lost puppy, since he followed me like one. Surprisingly, I didn’t mind him always being around Sirius, despite all the nasty rumors about us, and began looking forward to seeing him every day. And I got to hang out with James more, now that I wasn’t trying to avoid anyone. The roses and love notes kept coming, too. They got sweeter each time.

Quidditch was going to start in a little over a month. James, being the new captain, was desperate for us to win the cup this year and decided to start training early. First, however, we needed to fill in all the spots from the members that left us last year. That being one Beater, one Chaser, and a Keeper. James and I were Chasers, Sirius the other Beater, and a forth year named Drew Murphy was our Seeker. James wanted the whole team that was still around to be at tryouts. Which happened to be this Saturday morning in which I sleep in late from a late night detention the night before.

Lily was the one to wake me. She was planning on watching the tryouts, but really I think she just wanted to see James in his Quidditch robes again. She came bursting into the room shouting for me to hurry up. I rushed. Not even to bother putting on make-up, I put on my Quidditch robes, grabbed my Nimbus 900 and ran down to the Quidditch pitch where the rest of the team was waiting.

“You’re late, Libby,” James scolded.

“Yes, I am,” I countered. I looked over his shoulder to see a crowd of Gryffindors getting ready to tryouts. I snorted when I saw Susan Orrin there. Samantha was standing off to the side smiling at her sister. They had got to be kidding.

“Okay, everyone, listen up!” James said standing in front of them, “We’re filling the empty spaces on our team. A Chaser, Beater, and Keeper. We will choose the new members by skill and the way they interact with the rest of the team. If you are trying out for the Beater position, come over here,” James pointed his left. A group of students broke themselves off from the rest and stood where they were asked.

“Okay, one at a time, you are going to mount your brooms and fly. Sirius will hit a bludger at you and you have to aim it to one of the target set up on the field. The target moves each time it’s hit, so know where it is at all times,” James explained. I looked up and saw that there was, indeed, a floating target on the field above us.

The Gryffindors lined up and Sirius let a bludger loose. Then he mounted his broom. His black hair flew off his forehead as the wind rushed past him. I swear, he can be a model when he gets older. James watched whoever was trying out, keeping notes on their skill. Murphy and I added our own comments every so often. Once the last person was done with their tryouts, Sirius caught the bludger and struggled with it as he shoved it back into it’s spot and strapped it down.

“There isn’t much competition this year, is there?” Sirius asked when he joined us a few feet from the waiting group.

“Some were better then others,” I shrugged.

“Yeah, but none of them are really great,” James said, agreeing with Sirius. We looked at Murphy. His blond hair was blowing in the late September breeze.

“We have to choose one. This is all we’re gonna get,” Murphy said in his surprisingly deep voice for fourteen.

“True,” James muttered, looking at his notes, “Of all of them the one who was the most accurate with their aim was Darcy Smith,”

“She had a strong swing, too,” Sirius pointed out.

“Yeah, but then there was Nathan Brown. He had a very strong arm. His aim was only off half the time,” James went on. I shook my head.

“Half isn’t good enough, James. If we’re in a tight spot and have to depend on him for it, we’re at risk of his aim being off,” I said.

“I agree. And what would that sound like? Black and Brown?” Sirius asked rolling his eyes. I snorted with laughter and James grinned.

“Okay, so do any of us know Darcy?” James asked.

“No,” Murphy answered, “I know she’s a fifth year though. A friend of mine was tortured by her last year. He said she was nice enough and determined,”

“Right,” James said, “Then, we all agree on Darcy?”

“Yeah,” we all said. James grinned and turned back towards the waiting students. They looked nervous that we had made a decision just like that right in front of them.

“We’ve chosen our new Beater, Darcy Smith,” James announced. A girl in the area waiting to try out cheered as another girl stepped out of the Beaters. She was cute with a little button nose and round brown eyes. Freckles dotted her nose. Her brown hair was thin and straight, if not a bit stringy, and she was about average height. Which was totally taller then me.

“Congratulations,” I grinned as she joined us and shook my hand, “I’m Libby Cullen,”

“Sirius Black,” Sirius said, shaking her hand after mine. She blushed when Sirius smiled.

“Drew Murphy,” Murphy muttered, a bit shyly, taking her hand.

“And James Potter,” James shook her hand last.

“Thanks for picking me. I doubted I would make it,” Darcy smiled.

James then announced the Keepers would be going next. He looked at me and told me to get the Quaffle. I was going to try and get as many goals as possible as the Keepers try and save them. I nodded and grabbed the Quaffle. I warmed up a little by tossing the Quaffle to Sirius and back before James called the first person to the goals.

I tossed and tossed and scored and scored. There were a few Keepers that were amazing and saved even the most difficult saves. Others were pitiful and were probably just there because they had nothing better to do. I was surprised when a few first years got on a broom. They fell almost right away. Seconds years did better. There was only one third year trying out, and she was pretty good, but missed to many shots to become a member. The best one, I felt, was Nelson Jones. He was fast and saved each goal. When I landed after all the Keepers went, I looked at James.

“Nelson Jones is amazing,” I said.

“He was good,” Sirius said, sounding jealous I hadn’t complimented him at all. I frowned. He always said or did things that made me think that he was jealous. He actually hated Ben now, who I am very friendly with now that we’ve gotten to know each other.

“Anyone know him?” James asked, “I heard he has a bit of a temper,”

“Yeah, so did I,” Sirius said, thoughtfully.

“He’s a seventh year, isn’t he?” I asked. James nodded.

“He’s to good to pass up,” Murphy said after a moment of silence, “I think even the people who tried out with him want him on the team. What do you guys say?”

We all agreed quickly. James then announced that Nelson Jones had gotten the position and he joined us, grinning. The rejected Keepers cheered and sat on the grass to watch the last segment of tryouts. Again, James had me get on my broom. This time, I was just going to toss the Quaffle back and forth, make them take a shot and so on.

The Chaser tryouts took a bit longer. I was tossing the Quaffle as if we were really in a game and many times, the person trying out would miss. When Susan Orrin got on her school broom, she was so terrified of letting go and in the end landed because she broke her nail. She and Samantha left a bit angry and complaining loudly. Frank Longbottom was trying out, too. He was pretty good and fun to fly with. The Chaser position was the hardest to decide. When I landed, James was chewing on his bottom lip and looking at each of the waiting Chasers. We gathered in our group once more.

“They all were good,” James said.

“We can only choose one,” I said, “Let’s go back to the whole fits-in-with-the-team thing you were going for before,”

“Well, three of us are friends with Frank Longbottom,” Sirius said after studying James’s notes. He looked at the other three members of the team, “What about you guys?”

“I’m friendly with Frank. He’s going out with on of my closest friends,” Darcy said, looking proud to be able to put her thoughts in.

“He’s pretty cool. I’ve talked to him on more then one occasion,” Nelson agreed. We looked at Murphy.

“I’ve never talked to him, but he seems nice enough. I say he’s it,” the forth year nodded. James grinned.

“Okay,” he said and went over to the awaiting Chasers, “We have decided that Frank Longbottom will be our third chaser!”

Frank stepped out of the group to claps from the people watching. He joined the team and everyone began to leave. I stood between Darcy and Sirius, waiting for James little talk. He stood in front of us looking at the team, obviously liking what he was seeing.

“Well done, all of you!” he said, grinning, “Practice starts Monday at seven o’clock! See you all then!”

Nelson walked off, talking with Frank and Murphy. James and Sirius were lifting the chest of Quidditch supplies and bringing it back to the storage room. Darcy began walking away, an excited bounce in her steps. I wanted to get to know Darcy. She seemed really nice, after all, and was a good addition to the team. I started after her.

“Hey! Darcy!” I called. She stopped and turned as I jogged after her, my broom in hand. When I fell in step beside her, I grinned, “Welcome to the team,”

“Thanks. I’m so excited. I’ve wanted to play for Gryffindor since I started school!” Darcy said with a laugh, “I didn’t think I’d get on, but my older brother trained me for hours this summer. He wanted me to get on the team this year, too,”

“Who’s your brother?” I asked.

“Oh, David, he graduated two years ago and was on the Hufflepuff team. He played Seeker,” Darcy explained. I thought back two years ago. I was on the team by then. I’ve been on the team since 3rd year. I vaguely remember the seventh year Hufflepuff.

“I sort of remember,” I said looking at the sky, “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“Gorgeous,” Darcy agreed.

“Oi! Libby, wait up!” I turned at the sound of my name and saw Sirius and James chasing after Darcy and I. Darcy turned red and giggled as we stopped. The boys started running across the Quidditch field.

“You’re so lucky to be friends with them. They are gorgeous,” Darcy gushed. I laughed loudly.

“They are, but James is like my brother. We’ve lived next door to each other since we were eight,” I said.

“What about Sirius?”

“My relationship with him is weird. We’re friends, yes, but my friends all think he wants to be more or something. They’re wrong, of course. The day Sirius Black falls for a girl like me is the day the world ends,” I said shrugging.

“Oh, you’re pretty,” Darcy said. I smiled at her as the boys stopped next to us, panting. Sirius straightened, still breathing hard, and flashed me his best smile. I rolled my eyes, but smiled back because of that stupid dimple.

“I’m starving,” I said looking at my watch. It was after lunch. I haven’t eaten in a while now. My stomach growled.

“Me too,” Sirius said, “Wanna go to the kitchens and get something off the House elves?”

“Well, see you later,” Darcy said, before I could answer Sirius, spotting some of her friends.

“Bye Darcy!” I said as she ran off.

“You coming to the kitchens, Prongs?” Sirius asked James. He shook his head.

“Sorry, no. I told Lily I’d hang out with her after tryouts,” he explained.

“Let me change first,” I said when Sirius looked at me.


Once I was in my jeans and Billy Talent band T-shirt, I pulled on my converses and put my curls in a pony tail. For some reason, I decided to put lip gloss on, too, and freshen up my make-up. Kirsten had walked in just as I was walking out. She took one look at me and smirked.

“Going to see Ben?” she asked. Thankfully, she had stopped saying Sirius liked me and everything.

“No,” I said, “Sirius and I are going to get something to eat in the kitchens,”

“Really?” Kirsten said thoughtfully raising and eyebrow.

“Oh, go away!” I snapped and left the room.

Now, I was totally self conscience about how I looked. Did I look to nice? I was in freakin’ jeans and a T-shirt! How can that look dressed up? I walked down the stairs to the common room slowly, arguing with myself whether to change or redo my make-up. But the second I touched the bottom step, I saw Sirius, leaning against the wall, waiting for me near the portrait hole. He had changed into a plain white T-shirt and jeans that fit him almost perfectly.

His hands were deep in his pockets and his head down, causing his black bangs to fall swiftly in his face. He seemed to be doing some serious thinking for once. Yet, I noticed almost every girl in the common room, including first years, staring at Sirius in the corner of their eye in a trance. I could no deny it. Sirius Black looked better then a model standing there. And the amazing thing was, he was waiting for me. Not just some random girl he wanted to snog. But a friend.

I felt shy walking over to Sirius. Girls were still staring and a few guys had now looked up at me. I ignored them. I stopped infront of Sirius and he looked up, coming out of his still position. He grinned as me and opened the portrait hole, stepping back to let me through. Then we walked in silence, heading for the kitchen.

“What do you think about the new team?” Sirius finally broke the silence.

“We should do pretty good this year,” I grinned, “I mean, the new members will get better once they get trained a bit more. And we know how hard James is going to work us all. His life is Lily Evans and Quidditch.”

“Poor guy,” Sirius said sadly. We laughed quietly for a minute.

“Actually, I wouldn’t mind if I was a guy’s life,” I said after thinking, “Yeah, it would be weird if he like stalked me, but like how James is with Lily. So in love that he’ll do anything for her.”

“I thought it was a bit pathetic,” Sirius muttered. I turned my head to look at him.

“I want that,” I said, a bit defensive. Sirius looked at me now, raising an eyebrow.

“You’ll find it someday,” he said in a little more the a whisper.

This would have been a nice moment. A very nice one, indeed. However, it seemed that right now I wasn’t supposed to enjoy this nice moment. I was still staring at Sirius, shocked by how gorgeous his grey eyes are. I totally forgot I was walking and as Sirius and I turned a corner, I turned to early and—Smack!

I walked right into the wall, banging my head.

“Ow!” I said falling back and grabbing my head. I felt Sirius grab my arm.

“Are you okay?” he asked me, I heard the amusement in his voice. I opened my scrunched up eyes and saw he was smiling, but a concerned look was in his eyes. I ignored the look.

“You’re laughing at me!” I pouted.

“Well, that was pretty funny,” Sirius admitted, “You were just walking and then smacked right into the wall. It was like you forgot you were solid,”

“Well, I was to busy looking at you, so this is your fault,” I said, I pulled my hand from my head, “Is it red?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “There’s going to be a bruise,”

“Damn,” I muttered.

Suddenly, Sirius was hugging me. He kissed my forehead lightly, right where I had bumped it. I tensed up and looked at him, shocked. I seemed to fit into his body perfectly. Yes, I was much smaller then him, but I seemed to be perfect for him to hug. I almost smiled, but held it back.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Making you feel better,” Sirius grinned

“Thanks,” I sighed and rested my head on his chest. Again, this was a nice moment. But nice moments didn’t want to happen today because my stomach grumbled in hunger. Sirius laughed.

“You need food. Come on,” he said. Then he lead me to the kitchens.


Monday was the starting point of getting behind in homework. With Quidditch practice and detentions here and there, there was no stopping it. Teachers also seemed to find that it was necessary to start assigning more homework for sixth years. So, I spent the last week of September and the beginning of October, catching up on homework and playing Quidditch. Even my weekends were filled.

Before I knew it, there was only a few days until my 16th birthday. No one seemed to have remembered. I barely was awear of it myself.

It was a Thursday night now. Two days before my birthday. A week and two days before the first Hogsmeade weekend. I was sitting up late in the common room, doing homework. I was so into my essay on nonverbal defense spells, that everything around me seemed to have dissolved. The only sounds in the common room was the crackling of the dying fire and the scratching of my quill. Silence filled the room every so often as I sat thinking or needed to dip my quill in my open ink bottle. I was almost done and then I can go to sleep.

I was so desperate to finish my essay before three that I didn’t hear someone coming down the stairs. Until they were right next to me. I felt their presence and heard them walking silently up to me. I spun around, startled, my heart speeding up. I relaxed when I saw Sirius, dressed in only a pair of black lounge pants and shirtless. Trying not to stare at his perfectly toned torso, I tried to calm my racing heart.

“God, Sirius, you scared me!” I gasped.

“Sorry,” Sirius said with a small smile. He took a seat next to me and read over my shoulder, “Still haven’t finished your defense essay?”

“It’s the last thing I have to do that’s due tomorrow. Then I get even more work to try and catch up on,” I sighed, exhausted. I put my quill down to give my wrist a rest, “Don’t you have any work to catch up on?”

“Nope,” Sirius grinned sitting back, “Thanks to Moony, I get my work done quickly and have time for pranks, Quidditch, and detentions,”

“So you copy?” I rolled my eyes. Figures.

“No, only sometimes. Remus keeps James, Peter, and me all caught up with our work and he helps us when we need it. Doesn’t Lily ever help?” Siris asked.

“Yeah, sometimes, but not when I’m up all night like this,” I explained. Then I frowned, “You’re being very distracting right now,”

“Sorry. I just couldn’t sleep so I decided to come down here and sit for a while. Didn’t expect to find anyone,” Sirius shrugged. He leaned back in his chair.

I picked up my quill again to start writing once more. But as I dipped my quill in ink and started on the sentence I had started on, there was another distracting. An annoying little tapping on the window that can only come from an owl. I glanced up to see a school owl. A pink rose in it’s mouth.

“It’s for you!” Sirius said with a quiet laugh.

“Thank you Captain Obvious,” I muttered getting up and letting the owl in. It flew to where my essay lay and dropped the rose and the letter on top. Then it soared back into the night, it’s job complete.

I was very awear of Sirius watching as I opened the letter. It was longer then the ones he had been sending me these past few months. I smiled as I read it.

Libby...I love the sound of your name. Every time I hear it I want to run to you and hold you. I am thinking of you tonight, as I do every night, but I needed to know that you were thinking of me. Now, I can fall into peaceful dreams of your smile, your face, you laugh...

“He’s to sweet,” I said folding the parchment delicately, “I wish I knew who he was,”

“Be careful what you wish for. You might not like what you get,” Sirius said, looking a bit sad. He was probably just tired.

“You’re right,” I said, sighing, “How do I know he isn’t some Slytherin who’s just playing a sick joke?”

I went back to my essay when Sirius fell silent. Again, the only sound that filled the room was the scratching of my quill and the fire. And again, I became absorbed in my essay. I wasn’t awear of Sirius watching me with a small smile on his face, twisting the rose in his hands.

Finally, I had finished my essay. I reread it quickly to make sure it made sense. Then, after a quick drying spell from my wand, I rolled it up and stuck it in my bag with my defense book, ink, and quill. Then I stood and looked at Sirius.

“Thanks for the company,” I said reaching over and taking my rose from his hands, “But I really need to go to bed.”

“Good night then,” he said pulling the rose farther out of my reach, causing me to have to lean farther across him so my face was only centimeters from his. He grinned when I felt his warm breath on my face. I frowned and grabbed the rose.

“Nice try, Sirius, but you got your kiss from me,” I smirked and then went upstairs to bed, leaving an open-mouthed Sirius Black alone in the darkening common room.


“Great practice,” James said to the Gryffindor Quidditch team as we stood before him, waiting to be released to the locker rooms and then to our common room where we can relax finally, “They’ll be another practice tomorrow at noon,”

“James,” I said after groaning with the rest of the team, “It’s my birthday tomorrow and I have homework to catch up on. Give us a break. We practice four times a week for two hours and our first match isn’t until mid-November!”

“I know! That’s going to come quickly and we need to be in the best condition the Gryffindor team has ever been in since forever! We have to be those Slytherins and show them that money does not win the game!” James said passionately, “And after practice they’ll be plenty of time for birthdays and homework,” he added as an after thought as if it didn’t matter. I frowned.

Once we were able to change out of our sweaty Quidditch robes, I left the locker rooms and was heading straight up to the common room to get a head start on my homework. Half way there I heard someone calling my name. I turned to see Darcy Smith running up to me. We were pretty much friends now after spending so much time together on the field.

“James sure is working us hard,” she said once she was close enough to speak, “By the time we have a match we’re going to be too exhausted to play!”

“No kidding,” I laughed.

“I’m worried about when O.W.L.s though. I’m already behind in my homework and I told my mum that Quidditch won’t affect my grades. When it comes time to test, I’m afraid that Quidditch will be in the way,” Darcy said, looking more and more worried as she spoke about it.

“Don’t worry,” I said to her, gently, “James is pretty understanding about O.W.L.s. Yeah, he didn’t knock himself out when it came to studying, but he was a bit more flexible when it came to Quidditch. You know, he canceled practice a few times and whatnot. I’m sure if you speak with him, he’ll let you off or something,”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Darcy said, thoughtfully.

We walked in a comfortable silence for a while. That’s what I like most about Darcy, she’s a bit shy and doesn’t feel the need to have to fill every single moment with conversation that can get a bit awkward. And if we get on a sensitive topic, she knows when to stop and change the subject and lifts the tension. I was never good at that. I can go on and on about anything. It’s a shock when whoever I talk to bursts into tears and runs away. Happened on more then one occasion, actually.

“Sirius was staring at you all through practice,” Darcy said suddenly, a knowing smile on her face. I rolled my eyes.

“He never goes away,” I explained, “No matter what I do or where I go, he’s always a few feet away,”

“Well, I think you are lucky,” Darcy said, still wearing that smile, “I would love to have Sirius crushing on me. All the girls would. My friends envy you so bad, it’s a bit ridiculous,”

“Trust me, I am no where near lucky. Besides, Sirius isn’t crushing on me. He just is every where I go. I call him my lost puppy,” I said grinning to myself.


“Because he’s like a lost puppy,” I explained simply. Darcy laughed quietly and looked at the floor.

“I’ve had a crush on Sirius since I got to Hogwarts,” she confessed quietly, “He never really paid much attention to me,”

“I would have given anything for Sirius to ignore me the past five years. The teasing and the laughing was hard,” I said, just as softly to Darcy, “Now, though, I don’t mind him talking to me. We’re friends and that’s good,”

“I suppose,” Darcy said, but I knew she was really thinking about what it would be like to be able to just walk up to Sirius whenever and talk to him like she could me. I smiled.

“You can have him if you want,” I said, “I don’t want him,”

“Yes, but doesn’t want me,” Darcy smirked at me and I rolled my eyes, knowing what was coming next, “He completely wants you though!”

“No, he doesn’t! Everyone keeps saying he does, but trust me, he doesn’t,” I explained, a bit forcefully. I was getting annoyed with all these accusations.

“He does, Libby, and I think you like him, too. That’s why you keep denying he likes you because you don’t want to get your hopes up and end up with a broken heart. Like so many other girls,” Darcy countered, she spoke fast, a bit loudly, and sternly. I had stopped in my tracks, shocked by what Darcy had just said.

“You think I like Sirius Black?” I asked. Darcy nodded, with a smirk. I stood up straighter and sighed angrily, “You’re wrong,” I said, “There is no way I will ever be attracted to Sirius Black. Ever!”

“I beg to differ, Libby,” that familiar voice said. I spun around, heat rising to me cheeks, my heart beating quite fast. James and Sirius stood there. James was looking at me like he had never seen me before and Sirius was smirking.

“Why’s that?” I snapped, angry at him suddenly.

“I remember a time, not to long ago, when you said, and I quote, ‘I bet there’s something about me that drives you crazy’ while we were speaking of my smile,” Sirius said, now actually smiling, that dimple appearing once more.

“No, Sirius, you misunderstood me,” I said calmly while trying to push the curiosity of how Sirius can remember that from months ago but not what the teacher assigned for homework five minutes ago, “I only like your smile because you have a dimple and as I told you that same day, I am a sucker for dimples.”

“And I’m a sucker for curls,” Sirius laughed, flicking my ponytail, “See you later Libby.”

He and James walked away, Sirius still laughing. James was grinning, too. I was even angrier at them now. I didn’t know why because I knew they didn’t do anything. Hoping to talk to Darcy some more, I turned around to see she was talking with her 5th year friends. Instead, I told her good bye and went to find Lily and Kirsten. I needed to talk to them.

A/N: Some of you probably have noticed I've used Darcy's name twice. She's a completely different character then in my Remus/OC, i promise.

Now, because I love you guys for reading and reviewing, here is a little something from CHapter Eight: Change Your Mind. And don't forget to leave a review!!

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he whispered, turning away. I smiled softly.

“I know, Sirius, thank you,” I said. Then I remembered, “What were you going to ask me before Ben interrupted you?”

Sirius’s eyes widening. A light tint of pink rose to his cheeks as he stammered, “Uh. I was just—Well, you see—James is going with Lily and Remus is going with some Ravenclaw chick and Peter is even going with some Hufflepuff he met and I remembered your offer that if I ever needed a female companion.....” His voice trailed off.

Chapter 8: Change Your Mind
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: It's all Jo's. Lyrics by The All-American Rejects.

Chapter Eight
Change Your Mind

And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window.
Step back and hear I'm calling.
Give up, don't take the fast road.
It's just your doubt that binds you.
Just drop those thoughts behind you now.
Change your mind.
You let go too soon.

--The All-American Rejects "Change Your Mind"

Lily and Kirsten are the worst friends a girl can have. I told them about my anger towards Sirius for no reason and they seemed to think the anger was at myself for not just admitting my feelings! They think I have a crush on Sirius!

“It was just like that with James and me,” Lily explained as she turned a page in the book she was reading, “I would get so mad at him for every little thing, but I realized that I was mad at myself for not going out with him and ignoring my feelings,”

“Exactly,” Kirsten agreed from her seat on her bed, “You just need to be more in touch with you inner feelings, Libby, and everything will turn out perfect,”

I had stomped out of the room even angrier then before. Now it was my birthday. My sixteenth birthday. And no one had remembered. My friends didn’t get me anything, not even a tissue, my aunt and uncle didn’t send me even an empty handed owl. James was too busy with directing drills during Quidditch practice and not even my brother or Ben told me ‘Happy Birthday’. I was in a mood by the time I had showered and changed after Quidditch. Then I sat down to do my homework.

I couldn’t concentrate, of course, seeing how I was to upset with everyone forgetting about my special day. Finally, I gave up at Transfiguration and just sat in the fluffy arm chair, staring into the fire.

“Libby!” Sirius appeared, literally, out of nowhere. He sat himself on the arm of my chair and leaned back. Why did he always smell so good?

“Sirius, my stupid puppy,” I muttered.

“You look depressed,” Sirius observed, “Why? It’s your birthday!”

“Yippee for me,” I said darkly, “You’re the only one who remembered.”

Sirius was silent for a minute. I was awear that he was staring at me like he was trying to get his x-ray vision to work again. When I looked up at him, he didn’t look away. Now, I was staring into his grey eyes, feeling protected and that nothing in the world was ever going to go wrong again. Then Sirius smiled.

“Come here. I wanna show you something,” he jumped up from his seat and grabbed my hand. I was startled by the sudden movement and almost fell when he lifted me out of my chair. Next thing I know, I’m standing outside the boy’s dormitories.

“Sirius, girls aren’t allowed in there,” I said nervously. Sirius ignored me and pulled open a door. He left it open he pulled me inside. I stood in the doorway, awkwardly.

The room was a mess with parchment, quills, ink stains, clothes, joke shop merchandise, books, candy wrappers, and a lot more things that will take to long to list. Quidditch posters were on the walls, along with a lunar chart. Each of the five beds were unmade, though two looked neater then the rest. One bed had all the sheets and the comforter on the floor. Another had the sheets pulled in a circle and looked like something was trying to make a burrow out of it. The room smelled like a boy and I could sort of smell Sirius’s aftershave mixed with a lot of other stuff I would rather leave unidentified.

Sirius had jumped on the bed with no sheets and rolled onto the other side onto the floor. I heard things moving around under his bed as he searched for something. Then he appeared, his hair slightly ruffled, and went to his trunk. Apparently he couldn’t find it there either and went to what I recognized at James’s trunk sitting at the end of one of the neater beds. He went to every trunk but one, which I assumed to be Frank’s, and still had no success.

“Sirius, what are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m looking for something,” he said, “It’s the latest Marauder invention and it works perfectly. We have been working on it since last December and we finally got it to work without any errors. It was quite exciting when we finished,”

“What is it?” I asked, dreading what it’ll be. The Marauders showed me a few other things they had invented and they usually were confiscated or exploded whenever someone attempted to use them.

“It’s a surprise,” Sirius explained. He pulled a mirror out of his pocket. I rolled my eyes. Quickly, Sirius smoothed his hair and then grinned at his reflection.

“James Potter,” he said into the mirror. I raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, Padfoot, what’s up?” I heard James’s voice come out of the mirror. I gasped and Sirius grinned.

“What did you do with the map?” he asked casually. The map?

“Uh . . . I gave it to Moony. Let me ask him real quick,” came James’s reply. A few seconds went by and then, “He says it’s in his chocolate drawer and that if you take it, not to take any chocolate. He needs it for next week on the—”

“Thanks, Prongs. Gotta go, bye,” Sirius put the mirror back in his pocket.

“I didn’t know you and James had a two way mirror,” I said as Sirius went to a drawer near the other neater bed. I saw that even the floor was a bit clearer there and that it was obvious Remus’s bed. I walked up behind Sirius as he opened a drawer filled with Honeydukes’s best chocolate, chocolate frogs, and Muggle chocolate. I gasped, “Remus sure does like his chocolate.”

“Yup,” Sirius grinned taking a chocolate frog and tossing it to me before taking one for himself, “Don’t tell him I took some, he gets very touchy when someone touches his chocolate. Especially his Honeydukes chocolate,” Sirius looked at the chocolate bars for a moment and then pulled out a piece of parchment that looked out of place, muttering to himself, “Why he would put this in his drawer anyways.”

“What is it?” I asked biting off the head of my chocolate frog.

“A map,” Sirius grinned eating his own frog. I took the parchment and looked at it.

“It’s blank,” I pointed out tonelessly.

“Watch this, love,” Sirius pulled out his wand and tapped the parchment, “I somely swear that I am up to no good.”

I gasped. It was like an invisible hand was drawing on the parchment. Ink was webbing its way across the parchment, forming words and dots and lines. Once it had stopped I read aloud.

“Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, purveyors of aids to Magical Mischief Makers, are proud to present the Marauder’s Map?” I looked at Sirius and saw he was grinning. Then I looked at the map part, “Oh wow,” I whispered. Little dots labeled with names of students and teachers and anyone else in the school were moving down the halls. I spotted Lily walking up and down the library and Kirsten was talking with Ben on the third floor. James, Remus, and Peter were walking back and forth on the seventh floor before disappearing off the map. Then in the boys’ dormitory in the Gryffindor tower stood me and Sirius.

“Shows where everyone in the school is all the time!” Sirius said proudly.

“With no flaws?” I repeated.

“No flaws,” Sirius nodded, “Pretty cool huh? You can’t open it without the password, otherwise all it does is tell you rude remarks that are probably true,”

“This is amazing magic,” I said, now watching James and Remus appear on the map once more. After a minute I asked, “What is James and Remus doing?”

“It’s a secret,” Sirius said, grinning again, “I was helping, but they kicked me out because I was being annoying. It was my idea in the first place,”

“What was?” I asked.

“Nothing of importance right now,” Sirius said, “Let’s go for a walk. It’s to nice to stay inside.”

“Um, okay,” I said, glad to have someone to hang out with. We left the boys’ dormitory and started downstairs. We slipped through the portrait hole with some curious girls, gazing in our direction.

For a moment we walked in silence. Sirius seemed a bit uneasy and nervous for some reason. He kept pushing his hair out of his face with his hand, something I had never seen him do. His eyes had a troubled look to them and his mouth was pointed into a frown. That dimple finally hidden. Sirius then spoke while we descended the Grand Staircase to the Entrance Hall.

“Libby, you know the Hogsmeade weekend next week?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said carelessly.

“Well, um, I was wondering if—”

“Libby!” someone called. Sirius stopped talking and we turned to see Ben running down the stairs towards me. I felt a smile spread across my face at the sight of him. Whatever Sirius was just planning on asking me was no longer important and pushed aside as Ben stopped a few stairs away.

“Hey Ben,” I said happily.

“Hey, I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said, “Where’ve you been?”

“The common room, you idiot,” Sirius muttered under his breath. I glared at him for a minute before turning back to Ben.

“I was in my common room,” I said in a kinder tone. Ben smiled.

“Well, anyways I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade next weekend with me. You know, like as a date?,” he said, a worried look had appeared in his eyes. I swear I heard Sirius give Ben a very, very quiet growl. But when I threw him a look, he looked bored. I looked back at Ben, amazed and pleased.

“Sure,” I said, “I’d like that,”

“Okay then. Great!” Ben grinned, “I’ll see you later, then?”

“Yeah, see you,” I responded, my voice a bit dreamy. Ben grinned once more and walked off, looking pleased and a bit more relaxed.

I started walking down the stairs again. Sirius followed, though he seemed to be angry. His shoulders were hunched and the awkward silence had now turned tensed and strained. We walked outside and when his position didn’t change half way to the lake, I stopped walking. With my hands on my hips, I faced Sirius.

“What’s your problem?” I snapped.

“What do you mean ‘my problem’?” Sirius countered facing me.

“We were getting on just fine! You were showing off a map to me! Now you’re suddenly moody!” I said as if it were obvious. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“You girls think you can see through any guy,” he said viciously, “But you all have no idea. It’s so obvious that Ben wants to just get in your pants! He looks at you like he’s ready to eat you, for God’s sake. You think he’s all sweet and nice and kind but he is thinking of you losing your innocence to him!”

“Oh my, God Sirius!” I gasped, “I cannot believe you!”

“I can’t believe you would be so stupid!” Sirius countered.

“You boys have worse moodswings then girls!” I yelled, “Just because I don’t bow down at your feet and my life ambition isn’t to shove my tongue down your throat you have to make sure I’m miserable because I agree to go out with a guy I actually like!?”

“You’re my friend, Libby. You’re like a sister to my best friend! I want you to be safe and Carlson wants to get in your pants!” Sirius stomped his foot like a child demanding candy.

“He doesn’t,” I said, lowering my voice. In our fighting we had gotten close together. I was standing up to my full height, which didn’t even make a difference to Sirius’s towering inches, and Sirius was looking down at me. His angry face softened a bit and he relaxed, stepping away.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” he whispered, turning away. I smiled softly.

“I know, Sirius, thank you,” I said. Then I remembered, “What were you going to ask me before Ben interrupted you?”

Sirius’s eyes widening. A light tint of pink rose to his cheeks as he stammered, “Uh. I was just—Well, you see—James is going with Lily and Remus is going with some Ravenclaw chick and Peter is even going with some Hufflepuff he met and I remembered your offer that if I ever needed a female companion.....” His voice trailed off.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sirius,” I said, frowning and looking away a bit embarrassed.

“It’s okay. I’ll find someone else to go with,” Sirius shrugged. I shook my hand, and linked my arm in his leading him to the edge of the lake and pulling him down to sit in the grass next to me.

“No, Sirius,” I said with dignity, “Stay here. Don’t ask another girl who just wants to get in your pants. Stay here at Hogwarts and do homework or work on Marauder stuff, set up a few pranks, maybe. Anything. Just don’t make yourself suffer like that.”

“You’re suggesting I stay here at Hogwarts alone?” Sirius repeated. I nodded and shrugged. Mischief gleamed in his eyes as he smirked, an idea forming in that mind of his. He smiled at me, laying back in the grass, “Okay, then. You’re right. I’ll stay here, but you have to promise to pick up a few things for me while in Hogsmeade. I’ll pay you back,”

“Okay, fine,” I said, returning his smile and laying down next to him in the grass. We were silent for a minute when I added, “Just for the record, Sirius, I would have gone with you and said no to Ben if he didn’t interrupt us.”

“I would have thought you would say no,” Sirius said. I laughed.

“You have to give me more credit, Sirius. I can get pissed at you, but you’re my friend and I have fun hanging out with you,” I explained.

“I know you do, love,” Sirius muttered with a soft laugh. I smiled because for the second time that day, Sirius has called me ‘love’.


We sat there for two hours talking. Sirius was nice to talk to when he wasn’t mad or we were arguing. As we talked I began to see that I really did hate arguing with Sirius all the time. It made things weird and harder, our friendship was still quite new. It was a quarter to six when Sirius stood and pulled me to my feet.

“Come on, off to find James, Remus, and Peter,” he said leading me away.

“Who cares what they’re doing?” I asked.

“Oh, you’ll care,” Sirius grinned.

I followed Sirius, but we didn’t go to the Gryffindor common room. He kept going straight to the seventh floor. He paused in the middle of the hall and began to pace. I frowned, wondering what the heck he was doing. Then a door appeared on the wall. I stared at it, shocked. I suddenly remembered James telling me about a room called the Room of Requirement. I smiled to myself. I now knew where it was located.

“After you, Libby,” Sirius said.

“Okay, but do you think that James and-–why is it so dark in here?” I asked as I stepped into the room. Then-–


Everyone I knew had jumped out at me as the lights turned on unexpectedly. I gasped and then started laughing as everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’. I glances at Sirius, leaning casually against the wall next to a light switch, grinning. I smiled back as I hugged Lily and Kirsten. They put a plastic crown on my head and a pink feathered boa over my shoulders. I laughed as someone started music. Ben came over to me and gave me a hug. Then James ran towards me picking me up off the ground and spinning me around. Remus even hugged me and he rarely touched me. When I glanced at the light switch again, I saw that Sirius was still there, watching me with a smile on his face. I turned away.

“I can’t believe this!” I said.

“Were you surprised?” Ben asked. I grinned.

“Of course I was. So many clues pointed to something like this but I completely ignored them all!” I laughed.

“We’ve been getting ready and inviting people all day,” Lily explained, “We had to get permission from the teachers and everything. Mcgonagall suggested we have the party in the Great Hall, but that was to big and we wanted to invite Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, too. Sirius invited his brother, but he didn’t show. I suppose that he would get beaten up if he came to a Gryffindor party,”

“This is great,” I said, looking around at the amazing decorations, “You did an awesome job at everything!”

“Glad you like it,” James said coming to Lily’s side and wrapping his arms around her waist, “Sirius knew you would.”

“He did?” I asked, confused.

“This was his whole idea. He was telling us what to do all morning and then after Quidditch practice. He was getting so annoying so Remus told him that you might show up just out of curiosity of what we were doing and that someone better go distract you,” James explained, he was sort of bouncing to the beat of a new group called the Weird Sisters.

“Who better then Sirius?” Kirsten added, smiling.

“Where is he anyways?” Remus asked, looking around.

“Over by the door,” Ben said, spotting Sirius first. I hadn’t even bothered to try looking. Standing between Sirius and Ben would be awkward.

Yet, I did the stupid thing of turning around and looking at Sirius once more. He wasn’t watching me anymore. Instead, he was looking at the ground, a bit sadly. His hands were in his pockets and his hair in his face. He reminded me of the position he was in that day after Quidditch tryouts and we were heading down to the kitchens. Only, he just looked relaxed then. His expression now was depressing. It was then Sirius glanced up, his eyes meeting mine for a split second before he looked away.

“I’m gonna go see if he’s okay,” James said releasing his hold on Lily.

“Wanna dance?” Ben asked me. A slow song had just come on.

“Sure,” I said.

Ben lead the way to the dance floor where couples had already gathered. I put my arms around his neck and he put his arms around my waist. As we danced in silence, I watched James and Sirius talk. They really were like brothers. Here was James’s first chance to ever dance with Lily(who didn’t look happy about being put after Sirius) and he was giving it up to make sure Sirius was okay. Sirius kept nodding and James was looking stressed as they talked. Sirius once again glanced at me, but this time, it was me who turned away.

I wondered why Sirius had gone through such great lengths for my birthday. I mean, having the whole school act as if they had forgotten about it? Then asking teachers and getting together students and all? I would never even think of doing something like this for Lily or Kirsten! I made a mental reminder to thank Sirius for this and not to get mad at him so easily for pointless reasons.

The song in the background wasn’t that bad. I was beginning to really listen to it when I noticed that I did not fit in Ben’s arms as well as I did Sirius’s. I pushed that thought out of my head. So maybe I liked Sirius’s kisses and I fit perfectly in his arms, but that means nothing. We’re just friends and that’s all we really can be. I was okay with that, but after all the accusations that Sirius likes me in that special way, would Sirius be okay?

The song ended and Ben and I pulled away from one another, heading back towards Lily and Kirsten. I wasn’t that great of a dancer. I was fine at slow dances, but when it came to fast dances I had two left feet.

“Hey, I’ll be right back, okay?” Ben asked over the music. I nodded and he walked away. I took the last few steps towards me friends.

“Guess what happened earlier today!” I said excitedly.

“What?” my friends asked in unison.

“Ben asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him!” I started bouncing up and down happily. For once the guy I like asks me out.

“Oh my, God!” Lily said, “Libby, that’s great!”

She hugged me.

“You two are cute,” Kirsten said, but she didn’t seem as excited. She hugged me, but then looked at Lily. She looked a bit worried even.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing. Ben’s great. He’s fantastic, really sweet,” Kirsten said quickly. She hesitated for a minute before adding, “Are you sure he’s the one you want to be with though?”

“Kirsten, it’s a date, not a wedding,” I said, rolling my eyes. Kirsten usually would have begun to list every good thing about Ben and what I shouldn’t do on a date and what I should wear and how I should do my make up. Never would she question going with any guy. Lily wouldn’t even do this.

“I know, Libby. It’s just, well, can’t you see it?” she asked. I frowned.

“Obviously not,” I said.

“Oh. Well, hopefully it won’t take to long then,” Kirsten smiled and then turned and walked off towards Michael Lambert. I looked at Lily.

“Kirsten never speaks in riddles,” I said to her, “What’s wrong with her? She didn’t even ask how I planned to wear my hair!”

“Don’t worry about it. Just go with the flow,” Lily advised me.

My friends had lost it. Lily doesn’t believe in just going with the flow. She believes everything is planned and set out and only you can point yourself in the right direction. If you make a wrong turn, you can’t go back. With a frustrated sigh I turned around and almost ran right into Sirius. Ben arrived at my shoulder at that second. Tension was in the air in a second. I looked between the boys. Ben looked a bit smug and Sirius glared for a minute before looking at me.

“Thanks for all this,” I smiled and gave Sirius a hug, “It was a total surprise.”

“Well, it is a surprise party,” Sirius grinned.

“And I’m enjoying myself,” I said.

“I wanted to ask if you’ll dance with me,” Sirius said, “If I’m not interrupted, of course,” He added with a glance at Ben.

“Sirius, I don’t do good dancing to fast music,” I explained. This made Sirius grin.

“I can fix that,” he laughed, “Come on, dance with me. This was my whole idea, you know,”

“Okay, fine, but it’s your feet I’m damaging,” I sighed. I looked at Ben, “I’ll be back,”

“If I give you back,” Sirius joked. Ben frowned as I walked off.

Sirius was good at dancing. I wasn’t and I kept messing up and stopping because I felt like a fool. Sirius stopped every so often to laugh at me. I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I said I wasn’t good,” I pouted.

“You’re trying to hard,” Sirius said, still laughing, “Come here,” he took my hand in his and pulled me towards him, “Now, let be lead and just move. Okay?”

“Um,” I said uncertainly.

“You really should think about putting more confidence in yourself, Libby,” Sirius suggested. I grinned and rolled my eyes.

He started to dance and I moved with him, allowing him to lead me. And for once, I didn’t step on someone’s feet. I didn’t look like a fool and I felt comfortable. I was beginning to feel more comfortable with Sirius. His hands around me felt right, I guess you can say. But it wasn’t like I was in love with him or anything. Or had any feeling more then friendship for him. Like I said before, we are just friends and can be nothing more.

We danced for a long time. Not once did a slow song come on though, which I was thankful for. Ben would probably cut in and then Sirius would get all mad again. Yet, after what seemed like hours, I needed something to drink. We walked off the dance floor and Ben was there in an instant, handing me a butterbeer. No one was able to bring fire whisky in because of the close watch teacher had kept on everything. I even saw a few here, chaperoning.

“You and Sirius looked great out there,” Alice Stewart said as she walked by with Frank Longbottom.

“Thanks. I think that was the first time I ever dance to a fast song without hurting my partner,” I laughed. Alice smiled.

“You two are so cute together,” she said. Uh oh. Ben heard that.

“Yeah, but we all know what Sirius Black is after,” he said loudly. A few people around us turned their heads for an instant.

“Oh,” Alice said, eyes widening, “Um, I just wasn’t like I was . . . suggesting anything...I was just...”

“It’s okay Alice,” I said. Then looking at Ben, I said, “Sirius and I are friends. And he isn’t after that. From what he told me he isn’t,”

“From what he told you?” Ben repeated, “Libby, the guy is the biggest player in Hogwarts! You can’t think that just because you only want to be friends he doesn’t want you in his bed!”

“What is it with guys and thinking everyone wants to get me in bed?” I asked in anger, “Look Ben, I said yes to you to go to Hogsmeade. I want to go with you because I have liked you since fourth year! Sirius and I have just gotten to the friendship level and-–”

I was cut off when Ben suddenly leaned forward, his lips pressing against mine. I was startled by this at first, but then I relaxed, melting into the kiss. Though it was a sweet, longing kiss, it was not like how I last remembered getting kissed by a boy. That safe feeling wasn’t there and my thoughts didn’t go all fuzzy and I was able to stay calm. And then the kiss was over.

“I’ve liked you since third year,” Ben confessed, “I’ve just been to much of a wimp to talk to you before this year.”

It was then, for the first time ever, I realized what my friends had been saying. I didn’t need a make-over. And I didn’t exactly get one. Lily and Kirsten just showed me how to make my “beauty” more noticeable. I had been hiding. And now, I was blossoming and feeling more confident then I had ever felt in my life. I smiled at Ben and looked away shyly.

“I’m glad you did talk to me,” I said.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Ben asked. Another smile appear on my face.

“I will,” I said.

Ben leaned down to kiss me again. Right before our lips met for the second time an image of Sirius before I kissed him that summer night popped in front of me.

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews!! It really keeps me motivated!!

Here's a little something from chapter nine: Remember When?

“Bored of Carlson already?” he asked. I ignored his comment.

“What book do you want?” I said, only slightly out of breath.

“A book on very old magic. Turns out Lily and James had a fight and Lily charmed James’s mouth shut. I’ve tried everything and nothing works,” Sirius explained walking with me back to the library.

“What was the fight about?” I gasped.

“I don’t know. James just came into the common room with his mouth glued shut. He wrote that Lily used an old charm on him and that he can’t undo it. Remus isn’t here to help us out and James is banned from the library, too,” Sirius replied. I frowned.

“So a book on old charms?” I asked, my hand on the library door.

“Yeah. And you might need to talk to Lily, too. James is so upset. I swear he’s ready to cry,” Sirius was concerned, it was easy to see. I frowned.

Please review! I makes me want to post more sooner!!

Chapter 9: Remember When?
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns everything you already know. The lyrics are from Alan Jackson.

Chapter Nine
Remember When?

Remember when we vowed the vows
and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

--Alan Jackson "Remember When"

That night I couldn’t sleep.

My party had ended a little after midnight. It would have gone on if it weren’t for teachers. I was glad to get to bed though. I had received so many things. My favorite was the silver locket that came with the rose and love letter. It was once again delivered by owl and I wondered if the boy writing the letters was at my party tonight. I would have been to distracted with Ben.

The worst thing about my party was when I was looking for Sirius. I wanted to thank him for thinking of this once more. And I wanted to talk to him. It was weird to be agreeing to go to Hogsmeade with Ben at one moment and then snogging him the next. It wasn’t something I did often and it wasn’t something I ever thought I would do. I needed some advice and Lily and Kirsten wasn’t the one to give it to me. I don’t know why I felt Sirius was, but I knew he would just be there. He was always a prat to me, but once before I remember Sirius being there for me....

It was at the end of my third year. Girls were growing and developing. It was the time when girls began to lose their childish looks and began to transform in young ladies. I didn’t develop as fast as my peers. Soon Lily was getting noticed by more guys then just James. Kirsten was going through guys like candy and so many other girls were beginning to date and get more interested in boys and looks.

Third year was the year when I started playing Quidditch for Gryffindor. I was going through the tomboy stage that year and could careless about my bra size and the color of my finger nail polish. Yet, the stage was coming to an end. I began trying to tame my hair and even stopped wearing my glasses for a week. Let’s just say results were not to good.

At the beginning of forth year I was still flat-chested and nerdy looking. Being flat chested at 13, going on 14, wasn’t strange or anything. But the girls that developed quicker thought I was a loser. Susan and Samantha Orrin and the group of girls they hung out with made sure everyone noticed this.

“Look, it’s Loser Libby,” Samantha said before laughing. Knocking the book I was reading out of my hands. I bent to pick it up. It being a Saturday, I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. Susan peaked down my shirt quickly as I picked up my book.

“Still without a bra, are you?” she sneered.

“Shove off, Orrin,” I snapped.

“Ooh, that was a burn,” Susan said. The girls behind her shrieked with laughter. Where was Lily and Kirsten? They were usually with me at times like these. Not that I needed them to stick up for myself. It was just nice to know someone had my back.

“Want me to give you a burn?” I snapped, drawing my wand.

“Looks like Loser Libby wants to duel,” Samantha cooed.

“Sorry, honey, but we have fresh manicures,” Susan added, “Unlike you, we care about our hygiene and what we look like. No one but you wants to look like a mouse with a bad hair cut.”

As the girl shrieked with laughter, I raised my wand. Then Sirius was there. Out of the blue, he showed up. The boys were beginning to grow up too and girls were already falling for James and Sirius. Definitely Sirius. He was always good-looking but he was becoming a very fine young man now.

“Leave her alone, Orrin,” Sirius had snapped. The girls stopped instantly.

“Oh Sirius, everyone know she’s ugly,” Samantha said, rolling her eyes, “You don’t have to come to her aid.”

“She’s not ugly!” Sirius growled, “She’s perfectly fine. In a few years she’s going to be walking down the aisle with the man you always wanted but weren’t good enough for. You’ll be the slutty women in bars, picking up any man for company while Cullen has a family and a loving husband. So leave her alone and go be bitches somewhere else!”

I had totally forgotten about that till now. I was in total shock that Sirius had come to my aid when we absolutely hated each other then, but I was grateful for him sticking up for me, even if I yelled at him afterwards. I wanted people to know I can take care of myself and don’t need a boy to watch out for me.

Sadly, I never found Sirius at my party. James told me that Sirius had gone back to the Common Room. He was a bit tired and needed to get some homework done before tomorrow, even if it was the weekend. There was a lot to do. James also told me Sirius didn’t want to be bothered and that I should stay at the party. So I did, troubled by everything that had happened. And why Sirius would leave early. He’s the type to stay till the last person has left and then party alone.

The second I got back to the Common room, I searched the partially empty room for my lost puppy. He was no where to be found and once more, I remembered something I had pushed to the back of my mind, hoping for it to get lost with all my forgotten memories. Only that time, I was looking for James...

I was with my first boyfriend. We’d been going out for a little over four months. Roger Hill was a Ravenclaw. He tried hard to be funny, was sweet when it came to giving me compliments, and treated me like I was a goddess. We had just gotten back from Hogsmeade and I was extremely happy.

“Hey, why end the day early?” Roger had asked, pulling me into an empty classroom.

“Roger,” I had giggled, “You know if I don’t get back to the Common Room with everyone else to change for dinner, James is going to come looking for us,”

“Let him,” Roger said in this husky voice. I never heard his voice sound like that before. I was still surprised to have heard it when Roger started kissing me, pushing me onto the teacher’s desk. I kissed him back and for a while it was just snogging. Then Roger’s hands started fiddling with my pants. I pushed him off.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Roger said kissing my neck, his hands beginning to unbutton my shirt. I pushed him away once more.

“Stop, I don’t want to,” I said, fear beginning to kick in.

“Oh come on, Libby, don’t give me that,” Roger said, coming towards me once more.

“No,” I snapped, backing away into the teacher’s desk, pushing it. I tried to get past him, but I couldn’t. He pulled my back, giving me this longing, passionate kiss that hurt. For the third time I pushed him off, “Get off of me!”

This time, I was able to run. And I heard those words that I mentioned before.

“The ugly ones are always the ones that will go out with anyone!” He was calling me desperate and I recalled some warnings that another girl had given me but I had ignored because I was do happy to have finally been asked out.

I had run all the way to the Common Room, holding back tears. We were fifteen! Was the need to sleep with each other already there? Once I entered the Common Room I searched for James. He would be there for me. I knew he would. He was with Sirius, Remus, and Peter playing cards in front of the fire.

“James,” I called, finally bursting into tears. He looked up and was by my side the second I collapsed on the floor. He held me tight as I stammered what had happened and stained his clean shirt.

“I’ll kill him,” I heard Sirius mutter. I had peaked from James’s shoulder to see Sirius was right next to him, looking concerned.

I had not cared that Sirius was concerned then. I was so upset and heartbroken that I barely noticed. Thinking of that memory for the second time that night, I rolled onto my side, still unable to sleep. Why was it that I was having these feelings? What’s wrong with me?

Lily groaned in her sleep as she rolled onto her side. Kirsten sighed, a small smile on her face from her dream. They really were my best friends. Though I realized I didn’t think of them as sisters like the Marauders thought of each other as brothers. I have my secrets from my friends and they have their secrets from me. We tell each other a lot, but not everything.

I remember when James and I were that close. I always wonder what had happened to us. I knew it was Sirius that avoided me and Lily that avoided James. Our best friends didn’t like each other. We tried that first week, but it did not have good results...

”Oh, Libby, must we sit by them?” Lily asked, as she did every morning when we came down for breakfast since we arrived at Hogwarts.

“James is my best friend, Lily. I know you don’t like him, but please, I need to talk to him sometimes,” I explained. I led the way to where the four boys were sitting, trying to throw bits of bacon into each other’s mouths. They stopped the second we sat down.

“Libby! How have you been since we last parted?” James asked. He glanced at Lily and ran his hand through his hair. I wish I had told him to stop back then. It turned into a habit that he did all the time, not just when nervous.

“Very good,” I told him.

“You’re hair is bigger today then yesterday,” Sirius said, “I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Your face is the same as yesterday,” I countered, “So hideous I want to hurl!”

“Then don’t look at it!” Sirius snapped.

“I won’t if you don’t leave me alone!” I argued.

“What about your glasses? Is your face always so sweaty that they can’t stay on, or are your ears shrinking daily?” Sirius said with a smirk.

“Are you asking me to hex that arrogant head of yours?”

“Arrogant? Now I’m arrogant?”

“You think you’re better then everyone else because you’re a pureblood!”

“Take that back!”

“Did I hit a nerve?”

“You are going to wish you didn’t!”

“Don’t you threaten me!”

“Guys!” James finally interfered, we were on our feet, wands out even though we barely knew any magic, “Stop it!”

I picked up my bag, angry that James hadn’t taken my side. As I walked past Sirius out of the Great Hall, I stopped. He looked back at me. I kicked him in the left shin as hard as I could manage. It must of been pretty hard because Sirius let out a cry, high pitched and strained like a dog’s, and fell onto the bench, holding his shin. I smiled to myself as I walked out.

After I left, I learned that James asked Lily to marry him. Go figure. That ended with another fight, too. It was after that I stopped sitting next to James and his friends and he stopped sitting next to mine. We barely talked for the first couple of weeks of school, but we did realize that our friendship was beginning to fall apart. We worked so hard to keep it going that year.

I remember us making plans to sit up late in the common room, talking and catching up. That helped. I would tell James things about Lily and James would tell me things about his friends, though I didn’t really care. He would tell me pranks and how Remus suggested they have a name. That’s where the Marauders came in. They used James’s cloak the most for pranks and mainly Zonko products and other jokeshop things. James did show me some interesting magic that they were trying, though. I never could get how Sirius and James can completely ignore the teacher and lessons but still be the first one to get a spell to work in class or get the highest score. Not even Lily or Remus could do that and they studied harder then anyone else.

I was so relieved when first year ended. It was sad for it to have gone and it was depressing to know I will never be called a first year again, but it was summer and James and me could hang out every day. We did, too. My aunt and Uncle and his parents were so confused on why we literally needed to see one another every day. We would hang out for hours and hours doing absolutely nothing. But then, two weeks before school, James decided to invite Sirius over for the last few days of summer...

I opened the backdoor to the Potter’s house. Sandra Potter was in the kitchen putting a platter of fresh baked cookies on the counter. I knew the house elves made it, for Sandra Potter was not a very good cook. She smiled at me as I shut the door behind me.

“Hi, Libby. How are you?” she asked me.

“I’m good,” I replied.

“Have a cookie. The house elves just took them out of the oven,” Sandra pushed the plate towards me.

“Thanks,” I said taking one, “Is James in his room?”

“He is,” Sandra replied. I thanked her and ran up the stairs.

James’s door was shut. I knew better then to just burst into the room. Last time that happened, James had just gotten out of the shower and wasn’t quite done changing. So, we learned to always knock when the door was shut. So I did. The door swung open to reveal James....and Sirius. I was as surprised to see him as he was me. Obviously, he was not awear that I lived next door to James.

“Hi Libby!” James said happily with a glance at Sirius.

“What’s she doing here?” Sirius asked.

“I live next door, you dingdong!” I said. At eleven I thought that was a pretty good come back. Now it was just lame. I broke my cookie in half and shoved it at Sirius as he opened his mouth, “Here, have a cookie to shut yourself up.”

Sirius couldn’t resist the cookie and took it, shoving it into his mouth in a disgusting manner. James and I stared at him, grossed out, for a moment. Then I turned to my best friend for the four years.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to go swimming,” I said, then glanced at Sirius, “But I’m not sure I want to now.”

“Sorry, Libs,” James muttered.

“It’s alright,” I said, though we both knew it wasn’t.

After that, I had started inviting my friends over at the same time James did. It wasn’t to get back at James. Sometimes all of us would hang out and try not to argue. Like this past summer. We all played Truth or Dare and hung out together during the BBQ.

Suddenly I realized that the kiss James made me give Sirius wasn’t just a kiss. It changed everything! Sirius and I were friends now. I found comfort in talking with Sirius. James and I were able to hang out together more without having to worry about arguments breaking out. Unless someone brings up Ben. It was like our groups had merged into one. And this was the it was supposed to be.

I remembered the Sorting Hat’s words once more. I can’t interfere with fate now, can I? Lily and James are perfect for one another. Is that fate? Me being friends with Lily and bringing her and James together into my room that night for a simple game. Was it fate for James to ask the question he did and for Lily to answer? Was it fate for me to have kissed Sirius and liked it?

Really, I can’t believe these thoughts existed. I was with Ben now. It was fast and sudden, but I have a boyfriend. I shouldn’t be thinking about a simple kiss with another guy that hopefully meant nothing. Because that’s what it meant. Nothing. I am obviously just having mixed emotions about a new boyfriend, that’s all. By tomorrow morning I will see Sirius and think how annoying he’s going to be now that Ben and I are together. I will see Ben and think how happy I am to be with him. I’ll get that same feeling I got when I first saw him...

“And now give it up for Gryffindor! Hanson, Potter, Cullen, Black, Stevens, McGraw, and Sanford!”

One by one the Gryffindor team flew onto the pitch. The excitement I usually got during a game was building up inside me. After a lap, we met up with the Ravenclaws in the middle of the pitch. I was standing in front of a good-looking forth year. I never really had noticed him before, but I was able to put the name Ben Carlson to his face. He must have just gotten on the team this year. I didn’t remember him from last year. I blushed when he smiled at me. I was wearing these big, nerdy goggles that served as glasses. I couldn’t wear the pair that never stopped falling while playing Quidditch.

“And they’re off! Gryffindor in possession. Potter passes to Hanson! Hanson passed back to Potter. Oh! Well aimed Bludger by Ravenclaw Beater, Peter Hanks. Cullen catches the Quaffle from under Potter and dodges another Bludger. She tosses up to Hanson, but toss is intercepted by newest Ravenclaw chaser, Ben Carlson. He heads towards the goals and tosses to Williams. Williams goes for the goal. And blocked by Gryffindor Keeper, McGraw!”

The Gryffindor side went wild with relief as the Ravenclaws and Slytherins booed. I was trying to concentrate, but Ben was being a distraction and he seemed to know it. He flew near me almost all the time as I tried to keep up with the game plays that the present captain, Hanson, kept yelling out.

“Gryffindor in possession. Potter tosses to Cullen and she drops the Quaffle! Hanson catches it and tosses back to Potter!”

I dropped the Quaffle seven times in the one play and helped Ravenclaw score a point. Hanson called for time out. We gathered on the ground by him and everyone glared at me.

“What’s wrong with you today?” Hanson snapped. He was a lot bigger then me. As a Muggle-born, he spends his summer lifting Muggle weights and gaining more muscle. He was a seventh-year and Quidditch crazed.

“I don’t know,” I snapped, “I just can’t keep a hold on the Quaffle.”

“No, you just can’t keep a hold on the Quaffle when Carlson is around,” James said, looking angry, “Ignore him, Libs, he’s not that great.”

I smiled to myself at the memory. He was that great to me that day. When I told James that Ben asked me to be his girlfriend, James didn’t seem that happy for me. In fact, he looked disappointed and a bit angry. I frowned suddenly, curious as to what was really going through James’s head.

All my friends were a bit quiet when I told them my happy news. Kirsten actually looked at me like I was crazy, saying “You really don’t see it, do you?” And then walked away. That was the second time that night she told me about “seeing it” whatever “it” is supposed to be. Even Lily looked a me a bit sadly before dragging James onto the dance floor. I took my mind off it by laughing with Alice and Darcy.

Funny how all these memories come to me now. It’s not like I’m getting married to Ben or anything. If I’m lucky, which I’m usually not, this relationship will last the year. Trying to push some thoughts out of my head, and ignoring my forgotten memories, I rolled over onto my other side. I shut my eyes and finally was able to drift off into a comfortable, dreamless sleep.


I woke up the next morning to an empty dormitory. I shuffled towards the bathroom where I showered and brushed my teeth, then I got dressed in a comfortable pair of jeans and cute top that Lily picked out. I pulled my hair into a pony tail without brushing it and grabbed my school bag for homework later. A glance at the clock told me I missed breakfast and should go down to the kitchens for a snack.

In the common room I searched for my friends. Maybe they can help me catch up with my work. I hear someone enter the common room and looked. Walking through the portrait hole was Remus, James, Peter, and Sirius. James was laughing at something Remus had just said and Peter was in hysterics because James was. Sirius looked distracted and was giving his friends a look as to why they were laughing. He obviously missed the joke.

Why I lost my breath, I had no idea. The thoughts and feelings I had last night meant nothing whatsoever and should be gone! But they were still there and I was not going to admit them to myself right then and there. Not when Ben asked me out! I needed food. That’s what it was. I needed food.

“Libby!” James said suddenly. He was obviously in a better mood then last night.

“Hi,” I said walking up to the Marauders, “Do you guys know where Lily and Kirsten are?”

“Yup,” James said and began walking away. Huh?

“Where?” I asked pulling James back.

“In the castle,” James offered.

“I’m serious,” I moaned.

“No, I am!” Sirius said, grinning despite himself. Remus glared at Sirius.

“Will you stop it with that?” he snapped.

“Someone’s touchy. Then again, it is that time of month,” Sirius laughed. Remus and James threw Sirius a look, but I didn’t get it. Sirius was just teasing Remus. The Marauders were always teasing one another.

“They’re in the library, Libby,” James said and walked away quickly with Remus and Peter leaving Sirius and me together. Oddly enough, my pulse quickened and my palms got sweaty. I gave Sirius a smile.

“You left my party early last night,” I said.

“Yeah, well, you know...I had a lot of homework,” Sirius shrugged.

“What happened to Remus always keeping you caught up with your homework?” I asked raising and eyebrow. Sirius grinned. His smile, and his dimple, made my heart speed up even more. At this rate, it might stop.

“Even the best get left behind,” he said.

“Well, I wanted to thank you again for setting up the party. I had fun,” I smiled and then laughed, “I had a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, I heard you and Ben hooked up last night,” Sirius nodded. He didn’t sound to happy for me either. I sighed heavily. A part of me was glad that Sirius wasn’t happy for me. As silly as that sounds.

“Yeah, we did,” I said softly. I tilted my head to the side, “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Sirius said quickly, “I have to go. Pranks to play, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” I laughed before walking out of the common room.

I walked down the halls corridors. They were pretty much empty seeing how it was a Sunday morning, almost afternoon, and people had homework due tomorrow and whatnot. My footsteps echoed in the silence. Quickly, I stopped at the kitchens and got a brownie and chocolate bar and continued my way to the library. I was almost to there when a second pair of footsteps was added to mine. I looked over my shoulder and smiled. It was Ben. He was with Jeremy and was deep in conversation with him.

He looked up when he realized another person with in the corridor. A large grin spread across his face and I couldn’t help but notice that I didn’t get giddy when Ben smiled. I forced a smile of my own as Ben caught up to me, completely forgetting about Jeremy.

“Hey,” he said, pulling me into his arms and kissing me softly, “What’s with the chocolate?”

“I need breakfast, you know,” I replied, “Going to the library?”

“Yeah,” Ben said, laughing, “Herbology essay due tomorrow. And Defense questions. I saved them both for last minute.”

“That was smart,”I joked. Then I snorted in a very unladylike way, “Look who’s talking. I have all my homework from Friday and half my stuff from Thursday!”

“That’s why you’re not in Ravenclaw, love,” Ben laughed. I smiled and we started walking to the library. Ben called me ‘love’. Why didn’t I get all excited like I did when Sirius called me ‘love’ twice?

Oh, God, what is wrong with me? Why do I keep comparing Ben to Sirius? Even the guys in the school admit that Sirius is the best looking guy in the school and that only James can give him a run for his money. No one compares to those two.

Great! Now I’m comparing Ben to both Sirius and James! I really shouldn’t eat chocolate for breakfast. It’s making my hormones go crazy.

Even with my thoughts and Ben around me, I was able to finish my Transfiguration homework, everything assigned to me on Thursday, and start on what I was assigned on Friday. All before 3 o’clock in the afternoon. I decided to take a break then. After dinner I will finish my homework from Friday and will be all caught up to get left behind again! Exciting, isn’t it?

Ben helped me work all day because Lily and Kirsten were not in the library like I had been told. When Remus came into the library a little after noon, looking paler then I had remembered from this morning, I asked him why he lied.

“I didn’t,” he said, “They were in here reading up on something or another. I was only in here awhile before I left.”

Sirius also came in, giving me a reason to take a break. He looked a bit lost as he snuck over to Ben and me and sat in a chair. He slid in his chair before he was almost hidden.

“I see you Sirius,” I said, raising an eyebrow. Ben was looking at him like he was a madman.

“I know, it’s Madam Pinch I’m hoping won’t see me,” Sirius whispered.

“Why?” Ben asked a bit harshly. What was it with boyfriends being so over protective?

“I was banned from the library on Wednesday,” Sirius explained, “I’m not supposed to be in here until next Thursday. I just wanted to ask if you’ll get a book for me, Libby.”

“Why don’t you get it yourself since you’re already in here?” Ben asked.

“To much moving around,” Sirius said, sitting up a little bit. He looked at me, “I need a book on—”

“MR. BLACK!” Madam Pinch yelled seeing Sirius, “I thought I banned you from the library!”

“I know you did,” Sirius said, standing up quickly, “I just need one thing, it’s terribly important that I get the book immediately.”

“No! Out! You have done enough damage in here then necessary!” Madam Pinch said pointing Sirius to the door. She slammed the library door behind him and went back to her desk.

“I’ll be right back, I want to go see what type of book Sirius wants,” I said, standing. Ben pulled me back.

“Come on, Libby, he has other friends to get him the book. You’re doing your own work,” he said. I pulled away from him gently.

“Maybe this is something Sirius can’t asked James or Remus to do, Ben,” I said, “Or they might just be busy. I’m going to go see what he wants.”

Ben sighed, but let me go. It didn’t really bother me that he was jealous. Really, I didn’t care. I left the library and looked both ways down the corridors. I saw Sirius to the left and ran after him, calling his name. Sirius turned and grinned when he saw me, he actually looked relieved.

“Bored of Carlson already?” he asked. I ignored his comment.

“What book do you want?” I said, only slightly out of breath.

“A book on very old magic. Turns out Lily and James had a fight and Lily charmed James’s mouth shut. I’ve tried everything and nothing works,” Sirius explained walking with me back to the library.

“What was the fight about?” I gasped.

“I don’t know. James just came into the common room with his mouth glued shut. He wrote that Lily used an old charm on him and that he can’t undo it. Remus isn’t here to help us out and James is banned from the library, too,” Sirius replied. I frowned.

“So a book on old charms?” I asked, my hand on the library door.

“Yeah. And you might need to talk to Lily, too. James is so upset. I swear he’s ready to cry,” Sirius was concerned, it was easy to see. I frowned.

“Where’s Remus?”

“Uh...his mum is sick again. Dumbledore sent him home about an hour ago to take care of her,” Sirius said looking away from me, his voice holding some sort of hint that he was lying. However, now was not the time to press for such information.

“What of Madam Pomfrey?” I asked.

“We don’t want to go to her,” Sirius explained, “She gets really mad when we come in after a fight or a prank gone wrong. Really, we have to do this ourselves.”

“I’ll get the book,” I said, turning into the library.

“Oh, Libby...”

I turned back around to look at Sirius.

“I still don’t trust Carlson, even if you do,” he said. I didn’t respond, just shut the library door in his face.

A/N: Not really that exciting now, was it?? Mainly just a bit about Libby's past and all. So yeah, thanks for reviewing the last chapter, please do so for this one. It really motivates me and makes me want to post more sooner.

Here's a little something from my favorite chapter, chapter ten: Mr. Brightside (*coughthetitlecough*)

Stay away from me, Black,” I snapped. Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, I’m sorry!” Sirius said, anger in his voice, “I’m going through something I’ve never gone through before and it’s confusing and....and I just can’t take it!”

“Take what, Sirius? The fact that for once someone isn’t looking at you?” I asked.

Hahahaha! I love this. Okay, sorry. Again, please review, it makes me want to update faster*wink wink*

Chapter 10: Mr. Brightside
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer:Jo owns it all. Lyrics by the Killers.

Chapter Ten
Mr. Brightside

Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
Cus i'm Mr. Brightside

I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doin' just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

--the Killers "Mr. Brightside"

Ben helped me search the shelves for the book on ancient charms that Lily might have read. What James could have possibly done to make her resort to magic is beyond me. They were doing so well and Lily was so happy. I sighed as I put another book away. I was never going to get my homework done if I kept this up. I’ve been at this for an hour!

“Looking for something, my dear?” I heard a slimy voice ask. I turned towards it to see Lucius Malfoy standing at the end of the row I was looking through. I didn’t have time for him and pulled another book from the shelf.

“Don’t you dare, ignore me, Cullen,” Malfoy was right behind me now.

“Look at that,” I muttered sarcastically, “I dare!”

The thing about Malfoy is that he thinks he better then everyone else because he’s rich and a pureblood. He doesn’t realize that the Sirius is rich and a pureblood. Or that James is rich and a pureblood. So many people can careless about bloodlines, but Malfoy finds the need to think everyone is below him and he should be treated as a king. He thinks its fun to pick a fight with the people who don’t. Like me and Sirius and James.

I could see Malfoy reading the titles of the books I pulled out over my shoulder. He smiled to himself. I hated his smile. And not just because he didn’t have dimples. He had a slimy sneer for a smile that looked suspicious even when he really was happy. Not a good thing to see him smiling when it comes to being alone with Malfoy.

“Helping your friend out, are you Cullen?” Malfoy hissed.

“What do you know about that?” I snapped. Oops. I was supposed to be ignoring him. I need to work at this silent treatment thing.

“Nothing really. Everyone knows Evans has a bit of a temper,” Malfoy snickered. I turned to face him. The Slytherins was standing closer to me then I would have liked. I took a step back, but bumped into the bookshelf. Where was Ben?

“What do you want?” I asked darkly, preparing myself for a fight. I didn’t have my wand. It was in my bag with my books from doing homework. It was uncomfortable in my jeans and I had put it there for safe keeping.

“I just wanted a little chat with Sirius Black’s newest toy,” Malfoy said looking excited. Oh no.

“Toy?” I repeated, temper rising, “I’m not one of Sirius’s toys. And if you haven’t noticed he hasn’t touched any girl in this school since we returned!”

“Yes, because he wants the one girl that doesn’t want him,” Malfoy said, putting on a fake concerned face, “I don’t blame him for wanting you so badly. All that anyone can talk about is how much you’ve changed since last year.”

“Leave me alone,” I snapped trying to slip away from them, but Malfoy blocked me. He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me further down the row before slamming me against the wall. I gasped as my head hit the stone.

“Don’t you try and walk away,” he snapped, his hand around my throat, “It’s rude.”

“You’re mother obviously did not teach you the proper meaning of rude, Malfoy. Choking a girl doesn’t seem very polite,” I gasped for air as the hand tightened.

“Just as you’re mother didn’t—oh, that’s right. You’re mother is dead!” Malfoy snapped, “She died before she could teach you proper manners, didn’t she? You’re filthy Muggle father had to raise you until he died too, didn’t he?”

“They died before I understood what death was,” I countered, “Using them to get to me is pointless.” A total lie, but Malfoy didn’t have to know that. However, I did need to get away from him. My hands were still free, as were my legs. I could easily kick him where it hurts or I can punch him.

“How would you like to join them, then, Cullen? Get to know them,” Malfoy offered, “But first I want you. And I am going to let you run away like that Hill did when he—” Next thing he knew, my fist was in his face. His nose cracked with a sickening crunch. Wow. I hit him harder then I thought I could. I didn’t stick around to see how bad the damage was, I just ran for it instead.

“Libby, I found something that seems good,” Ben said appearing from another row when I had escaped from the row Malfoy was whimpering in. I didn’t bother running any more now that I was in front of people. Suddenly registering what Ben has said, I looked at the books he was holding. They were titles read something like Charms of History and The Great Book of Ancient Charms. Stuff like that. He had about five there, all piled in his arms.

“This works,” I said, nodding, “I found nothing that would be useful.”

“It’s almost dinner, do you want to get this to James and Sirius so we don’t miss it?” Ben asked. I looked at him.

“Yeah, sure. I want to make sure James is okay, though, too. And Lily. She’s probably still fuming,” I explained. We picked up our books and swung our bags over our shoulders. I checked out the books and we left the library.

Ben went on to the Ravenclaw common rooms, promising me that he’ll see me at dinner. I nodded and continued on towards the Gryffindor common room. I hurried through the portrait hole and looked around. Lily and Kirsten were talking on the couch in front of the fire. Lily was smiling, too. She wasn’t mad anymore, but I don’t think she lifted the charm either.

“Lily!” I said walking over and dropping my bag on the floor, “What in the world did poor James do to make you glue his mouth shut?” I asked.

“Poor James?” Lily repeated raising an eyebrow, “James was being a prat! He and Sirius were fighting with Snape again! When I took points off Gryffindor, James got mad because I didn’t take points off Slytherin. I saw the whole fight and Snape had been doing nothing before Sirius had him hanging upside down and James was hexing him! Then because I told James that I’m not going to go out with him until he grows up and he started saying all this crap so I wouldn’t leave and so I made him shut up. Maybe he’ll open a book for once to undo the spell.”

“You’re happy that you charmed you glue his mouth shut after breaking up with him!?” I shrieked. Lily looked a bit smug about the whole thing. And Kirsten seemed to find this whole thing funny.

“I didn’t break up with him, Libby. I just told him I’m going to date him when he has to grow up! He’s getting older and more immature. I just need a break until this weekend,” Lily said shrugging. I grabbed the two books from my bag and glared at Lily.

“Well, I’m going to help him undo the charm!” I snapped. I headed towards the boys’ dormitories shouting, “If you had any idea how much James liked you, I doubt you would even dare to look at him out of shame of how you treat him!”

“You’re not allowed in their dorms!” Lily shouted after me, she was angry that I was choosing sides with James for once and not her. I always agreed that James could be a bit of an arrogant prat, but this I knew he didn’t deserve. I turned around to face Lily.

“I don’t care!” I snapped, “I’m helping my friend!”

I went up the staircase and knocked on the door twice before Sirius pulled the door opened slowly and suspiciously. Seeing me with books in hand, he grinned and pushed the door open all the way, letting me inside. James was laying flat on his back on his bed, a roll of parchment next to him. His quill and ink was on his bedside table. He looked at me and sat up when he spotted the books. I had never seen such a sad look in James’s eyes before.

“I would have found more if Malfoy hadn’t tried to seduce me,” I muttered, thinking it was best not to let Sirius know that Ben found the books he and James were flipping through. They both froze.

“What did Malfoy try to do?” Sirius asked in a dangerous voice.

“Well, first he was just being a prat, saying that I was you’re newest ‘toy’” I explained, “And then he started talking about how my parents are dead, which lead into the regular threats to kill me and then he said he wants me before he kills me.”

“What did you do,” Sirius asked. I had never seen him so mad before, and I must admit, it was a bit scary. He was shaking slightly, his eyes flashing, and his voice low. It was almost as if a shadow had been cast across his face.

“I punched him,” I shrugged, trying to sound like it was no big deal to calm Sirius down a little, “He’ll be pissed when I run into him again.”

“Oh no,” Sirius said shaking his head, “You won’t be running into him again.”

“Sirius, please, stop, you’re scaring me!” I said finally. The way his voice sounded and the look on his face really was. James writing away on the parchment. He thrust it a me and I read it. My eyes widened for there was some very, very bad language written down.

“We’ll take care of him, Libs, don’t worry,” Sirius said. He went back to the book he was looking through and so did James.

I picked one up, too. I had been looking through the contents for a while before I realized that Peter was missing. I put the book down and looked around.

“Where’s Peter?” I asked. James shrugged and turned another page.

“Dunno. Kitchens maybe,” Sirius said, “Hey, James, this charm here is good for pranks!”

James looked over Sirius’s shoulder and nodded, smiling as much as his shut mouth would let him. I looked at it, too, and grinned. Only the Marauders would be able to make hair growing charms for balding witches and wizards, into a joke.

“I had a fight with Lily,” I told James after looking through some more books. James raised and eyebrow and Sirius gasped.

“You did?” he asked.

“Yeah. She said you were bullying Snape again,” I explained, “I don’t think Lily got the full story though, did she?”

“Nope,” Sirius answered as James reached for the parchment, “Snape had been provoking us and when he started saying things about you, we couldn’t just sit there.”

“Geez, I’m a target for Slytherins today, aren’t I?” I asked.

“Seems like it,” Sirius laughed, “Anyways, Lily had only seen the part where James and I ran after Snape to get better aim to hex him. Of course, she jumped to conclusions and now, here we are!”

“She’s mad at me. Not only am I breaking a rule, but I yelled at her. I had never yelled at Lily before. Merlin, I only yell at Slytherins and, before this year, you, Sirius,” I said. James started bouncing pointing to the page he had been reading. Sirius and I leaned over and saw that James found the spell to reverse the charm.

“It’s advanced magic,” I observed.

“We’ve done stuff harder then this,” Sirius grinned, pulling out his wand. He pointed it to James and said the spell. For a moment, I thought it worked, but then there was a loud pop and James had pink hair.

“Ad–oot!” James said out of the side of his mouth. The spell only partially worked it seemed. He could now open the left corner of his mouth. His facial espression with the pink hair was to funny. I glanced at Sirius and our eyes met. We instantly started laughing and James ran to the mirror to check the damage.

“Wot did yoo do?” he yelled. Sirius laughed harder.

“James, relax, I have a bunch of spell books that tell you how to change your hair color. It’ll be back to normal in no time. I’ll just run to get them. But first....” I pointed my own wand at James and muttered the spell. There was another pop and James’s hair changed purple. Luckily, his mouth also parted, finally giving him the ability to talk.

“Yes!” James cheered, “Now, I have to get Lily back!”

“Your hair, Prongs,” Sirius said, still laughing.

“Fix it Libby,” James whined.

I excused myself from the room and went to my own. I looked through the bookshelf that stood against the far wall and looked at all the books from the past years that we left here at Hogwarts. I finally found the Hair Care for Witches book and grabbed it. I was almost out of the dormitory when Lily and Kirsten walked in. They glared at me.

“What?” I asked, frowning.

“Done helping your friend?” Lily asked coldly, if not a bit hurt.

“Almost,” I replied.

“Tell him not to try and get me back,” she continued, “I don’t have time for him.”

“Why now, Lily?” I asked, “You two had been doing so well, weren’t you?”

“We were. It’s just, James can act like such a little kid. I’m behind in my work and I am distracted in classes because of him. I care about my grades and my work. James doesn’t,” Lily explained.

“But he cares for you,”I said. Lily looked at me.

“You make it seem like I don’t know that,” she snapped.

“Well, right now I feel like you don’t,” I countered, Lily frowned as I headed towards the door.

“For the past five years you didn’t let James get between us,” Kirsten said as I opened the door. I looked at her as she continued, “Why are you letting him now?”

I hesitated for a minute before saying, “Because he’s hurt.”


Lily and Kirsten didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. Or all of Monday. At first, I tried sitting with them at lunch and during classes, but with their back to me. I didn’t want to sit alone and the Marauders missed all the morning classes for some reason, so I forced myself to sit with Lily and Kirsten everyday. On Tuesday, James and Sirius made me sit with them after they saw how Lily and Kirsten were treating me at dinner the night before. On Wednesday, it was the same. As the Gryffindors and Slytherins stood outside the potions room waiting for Professor Slughorn, Lily and Kirsten stood a distance away, laughing with one another.

“I don’t know why she has to ignore you, too,” James muttered.

“What happened?” Remus asked. He looked tired and a bit ill himself after returning to school the night before.

“Lily and I had a disagreement,” I explained, “And now she’s giving me the cold shoulder. Her and Kirsten.”

“Oh. You guys never fought before, have you?” Remus said.

“Only once before and it was a quick little fight that we forgave each other the next day. This is different.” I shrugged.

“This is my fault, though,” James moaned, “If it weren’t for me, you would be standing by Lily right now.”

“It’s fine, James, don’t worry about it. They’ll be talking to me again by Saturday night,” I said, hoping Saturday comes quickly.

“Why then?” Sirius asked, curiously.

“Because that’s Hogsmeade weekend,” I replied. Sirius still looked confused.

“She’ll be talking to me again,” James said, “Giving her no reason to be mad at Libby anymore.”

“That and the fact that they’ll both want to know all about my date with Ben,” I grinned at the thought. Sirius scowled, but I wasn’t paying attention to him. Slughorn arrived and ushered us all into the dungeons. Luckily, today wasn’t a double period and lunch was right after.

I put my books down at the usual table Sirius and I sat at and settled down in my chair. Sirius dropped himself moodily next to me. I didn’t understand why he was so angry suddenly, but didn’t have time to dwell on it. Slughorn was starting the class now that everyone had settled down.

I tried to pay attention as he told us about the Memory potion. Unfortunately, we would not be making the potion today because of the shorter period. That meant over 45 minutes of sitting on hard chairs and listening to Slughorn ask questions just to call on Lily or Snape and to award them so many points each time. I took out some parchment to take notes like some other kids were doing.

“The Memory Potion has both Doxy eggs and Ashwinder eggs, not something you get in most potions. The effect they have when combined causes...” Slughorn was saying. Sirius was playing with his quill. I rolled my eyes. Only a Marauder could find ways to play with a quill.

I turned my attention back to Slughorn and was about to make another note when Sirius took my parchment. I glared at him and tugged on the corner to show him that I wanted it back. He nodded and kept writing. I frowned. Now I was going to have to use the last of my Vanishing Ink Eraser. Sirius pushed the parchment back to me. I was staring at a picture of what looked like a Slytherin falling off their broom. It was horribly drawn and rather cruel, but I had to smile at it before looking at Sirius and shaking my head.

Sirius pulled my parchment from me once more and wrote something. When I looked over his shoulder I saw him writing the word ‘Snivellus’ with an arrow pointing to the Slytherin. I shook my head trying to hide my smile. As Sirius added more and more cruel things to the picture(a bludger getting ready to hit it’s target, rain threatening to wet his greasy hair, etc.) I was biting my lip to keep from giggling.

“Miss Cullen, Mr. Black, what is so interesting at your table?” Slughorn asked. Any trace of a smile on my face disappeared as Sirius and I looked towards the Potions Master.

“Nothing,” Sirius shrugged, he was still drawing, the idiot. Slughorn made his way towards out table. He looked over Sirius’s shoulder and frowned more so at the insulting picture of his favorite student.

“Both of you please stay after class,” he said taking the parchment from Sirius before going back up to the class, “Now, Miss Evans, if you could tell me what your Memory Potion should look like when you complete the last step...”

As Lily answered the bell rang. I packed slowly with Sirius.

“If we get detention, I’ll hurt you,” I said.

“We won’t get detention,” Sirius said confidently, “We are allowed to take notes the way we want.”

We went up to Slughorn’s desk and he frowned at both of us and then at the picture. I was trying my hardest to look innocent. Sirius, suddenly realizing it was lunch time, was looking at the clock.

“Crude pictures of students is not acceptable,” Slughorn began, “I am afraid that I will have to give you both detention.”

“But sir, I didn’t draw the picture!” I gasped.

“You were still finding it extremely funny and disrupting the class to watch Mr. Black watch it. I’m sorry, but detention it is. Both of you will come to my office tomorrow night at eight o’clock. Now, off to lunch!” Slughorn waved his hand as he dismissed us. I sighed and left with Sirius, knowing it was pointless to argue.

“You are a prat,” I said to Sirius as we left the dungeon.

“Maybe,” Sirius shrugged, “But at least I’m sexy!”

“You wish,” I muttered. Sirius’s grin disappeared.

“That’s hurt Libby. That really did,” he put his hand on his heart and looked down, eyes closed as if he were going to cry. I had to smile.

“I can’t believe you got me a detention, though!” I said shaking my head. Sirius laughed quietly.

We entered the Great Hall and found Peter, James, and Remus sitting half way down the Gryffindor table. James looked miserable, as he had since his fight with Lily. I felt bad for him. He didn’t really do anything wrong to make Lily so angry. She was just over reacting like she always did when it came to James. I wished she was still talking to me though. I’m in need of some serious girl talk after listening to James and Sirius argue which model in Witch Weekly is hotter. I don’t even know how they got a Witch Weekly magazine!

As soon as I took a seat, I pulled some food towards me politely taking my helping. Unlike Sirius who dumped half the dish onto his plate and grabbed another side. I shook my head.

“You know, Sirius, girls will find you more attractive if you didn’t eat like that,” I said as he shoved some potatoes in his mouth and reached for some corn at the same time. He paused.

“What’s wrong with how I eat?” Sirius asked with his mouth full.

“Uh, it’s disgusting that you can eat that much and still be hungry. And swallow before you talk. No one wants to see half chewed food,” I said.

“Well, if it bothers you, why are you watching me?” Sirius shot at me. After he swallowed the food in his mouth. I was awear of James and Remus watching us with knowing smirks on their faces. For some reason, that annoyed me.

“It’s hard not to notice. Your manners are horrible,” I explained.

“Why do you care?” Sirius muttered staring at his full plate.

“I’m just saying Sirius. I don’t care how much you eat, it’s just more attractive to watch you eat like a person. Not a dog,” I shrugged. James and Remus smirks got bigger as I realized that I had just said, “Uh, not that I watch you eat all the time,” I said quickly, “Or find you attractive at all.”

“Sure, Libby,” Sirius said flashing me his best smile. James and Remus started to laugh. I frowned.

“Oh please, if I was attracted to Sirius would you really think I would agree to go out with Ben?” I snapped. That wiped the smirk off Sirius’s face and made James and Remus stop laughing. Silently, Sirius started eating once more, this time like a normal person. James glared at me for a moment and then went back to his salad, which he has been eating a lot of lately. I was very confused by the abrupt cease of their laughter.

“Hey, Libby,” Ben’s familiar voice said behind me. I turned, smiling, though it wasn’t my real smile.

“Hey,” I said.

“How’s your day been so far?” he asked, sitting down. Sirius glared at him.

“Alright, I guess. Yours?” I countered.

“I’ve missed you!” he said, smiling. I blushed.

“I’ve missed you, too,” I said.

“Oh, get a room, both of you,” Sirius snapped. I glared at Sirius for a long time. Ben shifted uncomfortably.

“I’ll talk to you later, then, Libby,” Ben said. He gave me a soft kiss, one that didn’t make my heart beat faster, and went back to the Ravenclaw table. I rounded on Sirius.

“You are such a prat!” I snapped, my eyes flashing with anger, “You said you had no problem with this!”

“I’m not the one getting ready to snog while people are eating,” Sirius countered.

“We weren’t going to snog!” I said, “We were just talking!”

“Yeah, well, it was making me sick,” Sirius said eyeing Ben’s back. I realized he had mash potatoes, smothered in gravy, on his spoon, which he was bending back easily, getting ready to shoot at Ben.

“Don’t you dare,” I warned.

“Padfoot, no,” James groaned.

“Stop, Sirius, don’t,” Remus muttered, getting ready to shut his eyes. Peter bounced up and down, watching the scene before him.

Sirius smirked at me before letting the spoon loose. He has good aim. The potatoes hit Ben right on the back of his head. He froze and turned around. Sirius was smirking even wider now, everyone who had seen what happened had gone silent. Slowly the rest of the school went silent, too. Teachers looked up at the fall of conversation. Ben and Sirius was looking at one another with these murderous glares. If looks could kill, they’d both be dead.

“You are such an git!” I yelled at Sirius, standing up. My voice echoed for the whole school to hear, “God, Sirius, if this isn’t you jealous I would hate to see you when you really are! Get over yourself and stay away from me!”

Hot tears threatened to spill over my cheeks. Sirius stared at me, shocked, as I picked up my bag and swung it over my shoulder. I was about to walk away, but I decided to be more dramatic. I lifted my glass of pumpkin juice and threw the contents all over Sirius. Of course, the effect of Sirius sputtering and rubbing the juice out of his eyes was killed because girls gasped, feeling sorry for him, and he still looked amazing with orange staining his white uniform shirt.

I marched out of the Great Hall trying hard not to let those tears spill. If I had turned around I would have seen Sirius watching me go with a mixed look of shock and regret. At the Ravenclaw table I would have seen Ben, staring at me, confused. And at the staff table, I would have seen Professor Dumbledore and a stressed Mcgonagall look at one another. But I didn’t turn around and I didn’t care who was watching me. I just wanted to get away from Sirius.

Once I was out of the Great Hall and up the stairs, I leaned against the wall and let the tears spill over. To many on lookers, they would say I was over reacting because all Sirius did was ne himself. Reckless, immature, attention seeking. I ,myself, felt like I was over reacting. I couldn’t understand why I was standing here crying.

I must have stood by the wall for a while because I soon heard people hurrying to their next class. I didn’t move and got some looks from people passing me. I caught some of a passing group of forth year girls’ conversation.

“—Ravenclaw guy over Sirius Black?”

“She must be on something.”

“Or playing hard to get....”

After that I headed towards the Gryffindor common room. The halls emptied as I walked and I hoped that Filch didn’t appear suddenly. Or that stupid cat of his because I would probably kick it for the horrible mood I am in at the moment. I said the password to the Fat Lady and crawled through the hole. I realized that for the first time in my life, I was skipping class. Transfiguration, too. Mcgonagall will be giving me a detention because she knows very well I am not ill.


I wanted to scream. I couldn’t get away from him! I turned slowly to look at Sirius. He had a hurt expression on his face. I frowned at him. He had run up to me and was standing about three feet from me.

“Stay away from me, Black,” I snapped. Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Look, I’m sorry!” Sirius said, anger in his voice, “I’m going through something I’ve never gone through before and it’s confusing and....and I just can’t take it!”

“Take what, Sirius? The fact that for once someone isn’t looking at you?” I asked.

“No! Libby!” Sirius groaned, “God, Libby, I’m jealous, okay? It’s different and it’s hard. Torturous even. I was jealous of the last bloke you dated. I’m jealous of James for being so close to you. I’m jealous that Ben asked you out first and that you agreed. I’m jealous he gets to kiss you and hug and say these nice things to you that I want to say myself!”

“You only want me as another toy,” I said echoing what Malfoy had said. I winced at the thought.

“No,” Sirius said shaking his head, “I’ve had a crush on you since first year. Since I saw you on the Platform. But I decided to be a prat about it and make fun of you. I didn’t want you to know. And now I regret it.”

“Well who’s fault is that?” I asked.

“Oh please, Libby, you felt it too. When we kissed. You liked it and you wanted more. That was when I thought that maybe I had a chance. Things weren’t awkward or crazy after that. And I saw the look in your eye when you looked at me. It wasn’t like it usually was. But then Carlson had to get in the way,” Sirius looked back at me and I could tell he was telling the truth. I gasped, my friends had been right.

“I didn’t feel anything!” I lied, not wanting to betray my perfectly wonderful boyfriend.

“Wanna bet?” Sirius asked, stepping closer. I tried to step back, but my legs wouldn’t move. I couldn’t let him kiss me again. I don’t know if I would be able to control myself in an empty common room like I was in a full bedroom.

“Get away,” I whispered. Sirius was only inches from me now and gave a soft laugh. The minty fresh smell of his breath made my legs weak for a moment. My breath began to get short.

Then, after what seemed like hours, his soft lips once again, pressed against mine...

A/N: Ah, do you just LOVE cliffies?? And just to add to it, I'm not going to give you a little something from chp 11: See If I Care. It'll give WAY to much away and I want Libby's reaction to be a complete surprise. No hints.

See how fast i'm updating? I do that because of all the reviews! Just think if I got more! *cough cough wink wink hint hint*

Chapter 11: See If I Care
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything you know and love is Jo's. Lyrics you should know and love are by Gary Allan.

Previously on It Was Only A Kiss: (that was fun!)

“Get away,” I whispered. Sirius was only inches from me now and gave a soft laugh. The minty fresh smell of his breath made my legs weak for a moment. My breath began to get short.

Then, after what seemed like hours, his soft lips once again, pressed against mine...

Chapter Eleven
See If I Care

See if I care
Look at the way you're tearing me apart, baby
See if I care
Look at the tears falling in this heart, baby
Go on, go on, go on
Yeah.. go on, go on, go on
And see if I care

--Gary Allan "See If I Care"

The taste of his kiss was better then I remembered. I knew that it was because this kiss meant something more then a simple dare.

My lips melted against Sirius’s and I found I couldn’t pull away. Without realizing what I was doing, I wrapped and arm around his neck, deepening the kiss. I felt his own arms slip around my waist and pull me closer. I moaned and Sirius kissed me harder. Running a hand through his hair, which felt as soft and silky as it looked, I came to my senses. I pulled away and stared into Sirius’s grey eyes. He looked shocked by the intensity of the kiss. He obviously wasn’t expecting that either.

“I have a boyfriend,” I grumbled turning around to run up the girls dormitory.

“Libby....” Sirius said. I turned around, glaring at him.

“No, Sirius! For once, you lost the girl,” I said, “I thought we might still be able to be friends. But we can’t. Not after that.”

I then ran up the stairs to the girl’s dormitory. I slammed the door and plopped on to my bed, tears spilling from my eyes once more.

I just kissed someone other then my boyfriend-of-four-days and liked it. Again! I buried my head in my pillow completely confused. Sirius Black has a crush on me. Has since first year. That didn’t make since. It’s me! Libby Cullen! The girl who wore oversized glasses that never could stay on her face. The awkward girl that hangs out with all the cool kids.

Sirius, on the other hand, was the best looking guy in Hogwarts. He was popular, excellent at Quidditch, funny, brilliant for a wizard who never pays attention, and absolutely to good for someone like me. How he could have fallen for me is beyond anyone’s knowledge.

I must have fallen asleep as thoughts drifted through my head. One moment I was staring at the wall and the next an annoying tapping sound was woke me. I sat up and looked at the window. It was dark out now. I missed the rest of my classes and probably dinner. The tapping sounded once more and I saw an owl with a letter and rose in it’s mouth waiting to be let in.

Once the owl was gone, I stared at the blood red rose on my bed with the letter written in the calligraphy handwriting that looked so romantic. I had my suspicions as to who has been sending the letters, but now I was afraid that they would be right. I don’t think I could take the thought of having thought Sirius to be romantic.

Finally, I pulled picked up the letter and rose and walked back to the window. I tore open the letter and my heart sank. The words were written clearly in the same hand writing: I’m sorry. I know I am a stupid git. Please, forgive me...S.B. With an angry cry I threw the rose across the room and tore the parchment into little pieces. As they fluttered to the floor they transfigured into rose petals. The same scarlet color as the whole rose now on the floor by the door.

The door opened then. Lily and Kirsten walked in and looked at the rose on the floor, to the rose petals at me feet, to my tears that once again were rolling down my cheeks. They hurried to me and hugged me tight. Then they led me to my bed and made me sit.

“Libby, it’s okay.” Lily said handing me a tissue. I took it and dabbed my eyes.

“No it’s not,” I sobbed, “Everything is all wrong.”

“I know, Libby, I know,” Kirsten hushed me.

“I can’t believe him, though. Why he has to like me and tell me now! I was perfectly fine talking with him and then he has to throw food at Ben’s head!” I tore up the tissue angrily.

“Calm down, Libby. Just relax, okay?” Kirsten said.

“I can’t calm down. Every time I do I think of him and get mad all over again. He doesn’t seem to understand that I like Ben and not him! Then he has to go and kiss me again!” I fell back on my pillows.

“You guys kissed again?” Lily gasped.

“Yes. But only because he wanted to prove to me that I wanted him desperately. Which he didn’t prove at all, by the way. Now I don’t ever want to look at him again let alone talk with him,” I huffed.

“Libby, look, Sirius is just as upset by this as you are. You are with Ben. You haven’t changed your mind about Ben or anything, so forget about it. Sirius will have to get over it. You do what makes you happy. Okay?” Lily asked. I nodded, but I really didn’t know what made me happy right now.

“Did you get my homework?” I asked them.

“Yes,” Kirsten said.

“Was Mcgonagall mad?”

“Actually,” Kirsten said, “she wasn’t at all. When she saw both your seat and Sirius’s was empty when class started, she just stared at them with pity and started class. Usually she gives us a lecture when she knows someone skipped class.”

“Yeah and Charms was even weirder. People had started spreading these rumors that you and Sirius were in his dormitory going at it,” Lily explained, “And someone shouted that out in front of Flitwick he just looked at them and said ‘Well, lets hope they sort out their differences.’ Ben asked us if we knew how you were doing and then he even asked James!”

“Sort out our differences?” I repeated, “Oh my, God, the teachers want us to get together?!”

I can’t interfere with fate now, can I?

“That’s what we were like!” Kirsten said.

“Anyways, Libs, Ben asked us to tell you to meet him in the library in five minutes if you’re up to it. He won’t think you stood him up, he just wants to make sure you are okay and all,” Lily said, standing.

“Okay. I’ll go now then,” I muttered getting up, too.

I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I gasped at my reflection. My hair was a mess, something I quickly fixed, and my eye make up was smeared and streaky. I quickly took it off and put more on after splashing my face with water. I changed out of my school robes and into jeans and my Billy Talent band t-shirt. Before I left, Kirsten called after me.

“We’re really sorry,” she said.

“Yeah. I overreacted,” Lily muttered, “I already apologized to James.”

“It’s okay guys. Really,” I smiled and hugged them both before going down the staircase to the Common Room.

I spotted James, Remus, and Peter trying to get a sulking Sirius to do something fun. I paused for a moment for reasons I cannot say, for I didn’t know myself. It was like I was meant to see Sirius glance up at me. His sad eyes meeting mine for a moment before I broke the gaze and left the common room for the library. I hurried down the corridor curious as to why him being hurt broke my own heart.

I pushed the thought out of my head telling myself that it was just because everything had been going so well between Sirius and I. It was ruined now. I won’t be able to speak with him knowing that I could jump on him any moment. I couldn’t deny it; his kisses were like a drug that you’ve been on for a long time. I stopped walking when this hit me.

I forced myself to keep walking forwards. I don’t like Sirius Black. I have no feelings for him. I like Ben. Not Sirius. Sirius is a jealous prat.

Yet, I couldn’t help but realize how just thinking of Sirius makes me smile. How he just had to smile to make my day ten times better. I realized just how much I looked forward to talking to him everyday and how much fun I had dancing with him at my birthday. For a moment, I wanted to run back to the common room and tell Sirius all of this, but another part wanted me to go to Ben. So I kept walking, more confused then I have ever been in my life.

I entered the library and saw Ben straight away. I made my way over to him and he hugged me tight before we sat as far as we could from Madam Pinch. He kissed me softly and looked at me with confused eyes.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said shaking my head ‘no’. Ben just smiled.

“So you’re not going to break up with me and go running to Sirius?” he asked. I looked at him. The thought had crossed my mind but left so quickly I didn’t even consider it. Now that thought seemed crazy.

“No, Ben, why would I do that?” I asked.

“Well, it’s Sirius Black. The guy has more girls crushing on him then there is to count. Every guy in this school is scared their girlfriend or crush or whatever is going to fall for Black! We all know we can’t compete with him,” Ben explained. I rolled my eyes.

“There’s more to relationships then just looks,” I sighed, “And Sirius, well, there is more to Sirius then looks, but he just isn’t the type of guy a girl like me would be capable of being with. Unlike you who is both adorable and sweet without having to try and I promise I won’t leave for Sirius.”

“Gee, thanks, Libs! I’ve always wanted to be adorable and sweet!” I heard an edge of sarcasm in his voice that made me look at him confused. But Ben just smiled and kissed me softly and stood up, pulling me with him.

“Where are we going?” I asked as he led me out of the library.

“To the astronomy tower,” Ben shrugged.

He just wants to get in your pants I groaned inwardly. Sirius’s voice even followed me when I was minutes away from him. But the accusation stuck in my head as Ben continued to lead me up to the Astronomy tower.

“Why?” I asked, my voice strong.

“Because I love looking at the stars here. They are so clear,” Ben replied.

“You know Ben, I don’t know if I’m up for that?” I said, uncomfortably. Ben stopped walking and looked at me, realizing why I was so resistant to go to the tower with him.

“Libby, I’m not going to do anything to you,” he said, looking shocked that I would think such a thing, “We’re just going to stare at the sky for a while and talk. It’ll make you feel better.”

I nodded, deciding that I should really trust my boyfriend and not accuse him of things like that. Yet, as we walked, again, I couldn’t help but imagine myself walking up to the Astronomy tower with Sirius instead. Angry that I was once again thinking of Sirius, not to mention thinking of him in a more then friends way, I shook my head violently.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked, startled by my hostile movement.

“Fine,” I said. We had made it to the Astronomy tower now and were heading to the window to be disappointed.

The stars were twinkling up in the sky—behind layers of thick, dark clouds threatening to release buckets of rain. Ben seemed surprised by the sky, too, it had been sunny all day with a cloud or two here. I smiled at Ben.

“I have homework to do, anyways. I think I’m just going to work on that,” I said. Ben nodded and walked me to the Gryffindor tower. He kissed me, harder then he had ever done before, and let me go into the common room.

As the portrait shut behind me, I leaned against the wall. Ben had kissed me like he wanted all his fondness for me to get to me through that kiss. The same way Sirius had kissed me hours before. Why was it that it was Sirius who was on my mind and not Ben?

“Are you okay?” for the third time, someone asked me that question. I looked up to see, who else, but Sirius. I glared at him for a long time.

“You love to cause havoc, don’t you?” I snapped.

“What?” he asked, looking more hurt, “You just look upset. I wanted to know if you were alright.”

“I told you to leave me alone, Black,” I said. Then I went up to my dormitory. I caught James’s eye on accident. It was filled with disappointment and maybe even a bit of anger. I looked away.


Saturday came around quickly. I was thankful for that. Hours in a room with Sirius Black was not good. It was even worse in Charms when I was stuck between both Sirius and Ben. I swear everything Sirius did was deliberately done for my attention. I was surprised to find, actually, that I was awear of what Sirius was doing all day. My other classes, such as Potions, was horrible as well. Sirius and I kept messing up our potions, and I knew it was because I was refusing to cooperate with him.

On Saturday morning, I dressed quickly in black jeans and a causal top that Kirsten picked out for me. I pulled on my converses and left my hair down with a clip in it. Lily did my make-up and then I put my money in the pocket of my jean jacket and I stood infront of the mirror, smiling. I actually looked pretty good. I was the last one in my dormitory beside. Probably the last in my house that was actually going, the Orrin twins were screaming in the bathroom, for Sirius had actually fallen through with that prank that we had planned. Something told me it was just for my enjoyment, too.

I left the room, shutting the door behind me, and hurried down the steps into the Common Room. Sirius was there, doing homework. He looked up when he saw me. I ignored him, but he got up from his chair and met me near the portrait hole, blocking my way to the exit. I glared at him.

“Before you yell at me, listen, okay?” Sirius said. I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything and Sirius went on, “I just wanted to tell you: Good luck today. With Ben.”

I stared at Sirius before scoffing, “You can’t be serious.”

“Actually, I am,” Sirius said, and then added, “No pun intended.”

“Oh,” I was shocked, “Well, um, thank you, Sirius.” I forced a smile which somehow, instantly, became a real smile. Staring into Sirius’s grey eyes was making me oddly calm.

“You better get going,” Sirius muttered moving out of the way. I smiled again and nodded.

I hurried down the corridors to the Entrance Hall. Ben was waiting, checking his watch. When he heard my approaching footsteps, he looked up and smiled with relief. I realized we were the only ones left to head towards the village.

“I’m so sorry,” I said knowing he has been waiting for a while.

“It’s fine,” Ben said, though he didn’t look at me or say anything else as we headed down towards the village. Once we entered Honeydukes, however, we began to loosen up and laughed.

We were looking at the pile of chocolate bars that looked so tempting to buy when I saw Remus, hands full with chocolate, with a Ravenclaw girl who I believed was named Morgan Anderson. I smiled at Remus, remembering his chocolate stash.

“Hey, Remus,” I said.

“Oh, hi Libby,” Remus smiled politely, “Haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

“Yeah, well, you know I—”

“Sirius regrets telling you, you know,” Remus intercepted. Ben became very still next to me and Morgan Anderson looked at Remus, interested, “He wants to be able to talk to you like a normal person again.”

“Yeah, well,” I muttered, looking at the ground, “He went to far.”

“Maybe, but he’s miserable,” Remus shrugged, “Hasn’t cracked a joke or smile since Wednesday. He barely talks at all. Just stares off into space. I liked it better when he went on and on about you.”

“What do you mean on and on?” I asked.

“He told you he’s liked you since first year. Just like James with Lily. James can talk about Lily for hours and only have been talking about her eyes. Sirius is like that when it comes to you. The past few weeks when you guys were ‘friends’ he would come into our dormitory all happy and talk for hours.” Remus explained.

“Oh,” I said, troubled at the thought.

“Don’t worry about it. He should get over this soon, hopefully. This is his first broken heart, so it’s bound to hurt,” Remus shrugged. Then he walked off to buy the pile of chocolate in his arms. I looked at Ben, who smiled.

“Don’t worry about Sirius. He’s caused you a lot of grief already. Forget about him and have fun,” he advised me. I nodded but found myself buying a lot more chocolate then I had wanted to.

We left the shop and started to walk towards the quill shop. I remembered that only a week ago I was sitting down by the lake with Sirius. He never told me what I was supposed to pick up for him. I sighed. If Ben hadn’t asked me out last Saturday, it would be Sirius I would be walking along the street with. Possibly holding hands like Ben and I were.

I looked at the quills without interest as Ben studied each one as if looking for something special on each one. He was the one that needed the new quill anyways. I lifted a rather handsome quill from it’s spot and twirled it between my thumb and pointer finger. It was all black, even the tip, but soft, light, and silky. Like Sirius’s hair. I sighed. I really needed to clear my head if I was comparing a quill to Sirius’s hair. That’s something the Orrin twins would do. Not me.

Ben and I left the shop five minutes later. The black quill and some green ink in a bag labeled with the shop name. It was a waste of money, but something possessed me to buy the stupid quill.

“So, where do you want to go now? The Three Broomsticks?” Ben asked.

“Yeah, sure. I can go for a butterbeer,” I said. Then added in an undertone, “Or something stronger.”

We started off towards the pub. Students were already going in and out. That was when I saw a huge black dog playing around the street with a couple of third years that were exploring the Village for the first time. The dog spotted Ben and me walking up and bounded over. It jumped right on me, making me fall back on my bum.

I started laughing as the dog licked me all of my face, it’s tail wagging at a furious rate. I pushed him off and got to my feet. The dog was an obvious stray, but cute. It’s fur was soft and it’s eyes were familiar. They were lighter then I had ever seen on a dog. It’s bark was familiar, too. I knew I heard it once before, but couldn’t place where.

“Are you okay?” Ben asked, he was eyeing the dog with dislike and backing away.

“Fine,” I said and kneeled back down, scratching the dog behind his ears, “You’re a cute little thing, aren’t you?” I cooed to it, “Friendly, too! Come on, Ben, pet him. He won’t bite, I don’t think.”

“That’s okay, Libby,” Ben was still inching away. I smirked.

“You’re scare of dogs?!” I gasped.

“You would be, too, if you were attacked by one at the tender age of three!” Ben said a bit defensively, “Plus that thing isn’t little. It’s huge and a stray. You don’t know what it is capable of!”

“Ben, look, he’s just licking me,” I assured him, “Come here and pet the dog!”

Ben hesitated. The dog stopped wagging it’s tail and looked at Ben before sitting down and watching him slowly approach. I smiled.

“See, he’s calm,” I said, pulling Ben closer. Ben stared at the dog before reaching out to pet it. The dog growled, getting back on it’s feet and crouching low. Ben backed back up.

“Uh...I think I’ll just stay back here,” he said.

“That’s weird,” I said petting the dog again, “You don’t like Ben?”

The dog barked in response, wagging it’s tail once more.

“Hey, Libby, who’s dog?” Lily asked as she and James came out of the Three Broomsticks. James was looking at the dog with an amused smile.

“It’s a stray,” I called back. The couple made their way towards me.

“Oh, he’s so cute,” Lily said bending down and scratching the dog behind the ears. James laughed at that and the dog jumped on him.

“Get off! Get off you stupid dog!” James snapped, pushing the dog off. The dog got off and Lily frowned at James.

“The dog isn’t stupid James,” she said. James snorted.

“He’s worse then Padfoot, Lils,” James said putting emphasis on Sirius’s nickname. The dog tilted it’s head to the side before looking back at me and jumping around again.

“How do you know, James?” Lily asked.

“Lily, I’m a Marauder. As a Marauder I find the need to get away from school more then every other month,” James explained, “If you really think that I haven’t seen this dog before then you need to get of the gillyweed.”

“I can take points from Gryffindor for you sneaking of school grounds when you’re not allowed to, you know,” Lily warned. James smirked.

“But you won’t Lils, because you are just that great,” he said.

I wasn’t paying attention to them, I was continuing to pet the dog. He had rolled onto his back now, revealing his tummy for a tummy rub. Once I had finished playing with the dog a little Ben pulled me into the Three Broomsticks. I went into the bathroom first to wash my hands. I didn’t know where that dog had been. As the door shut behind me I heard the Orrin twins talking to another one of their posse over the cubical walls, I wondered how they fixed their hair? It was pretty bad.

“—a slut!” Samantha was saying.

“Everyone knows she’s just playing Carlson,” Susan replied.

“Yes, but why would she still be with him if Sirius has confessed that he likes her?” the third voice, which I could not identify, asked.

“She’s playing hard to get, obviously,” Susan said nastily.

“Or Carlson is a good kisser,” Samantha added, “I don’t think I’ve ever snogged him.”

“He isn’t that great of a kisser,” Susan said lazily, “but I don’t think she would stay with Carlson because he’s a good kisser. I think she wants Sirius and just binding her time. Like that Evans was. You know, pretending she hated James when she really liked him?”

“Or maybe,” I said loudly and clearly, “I really do like Ben Carlson and won’t be breaking up with him for a while!”

The bathroom went uncomfortably silent as I dried my hands on the paper towels and dropped it in the rubbish bin. Then i went out to sit with Ben in the corner. I saw the black dog sitting outside looking in.

“You seem flustered,” Ben said.

“The stupid Orrin twins think I’m using you!” I gasped. Ben raised an eyebrow.


“I don’t know. Maybe because they are obsessed with Sirius and hate me?” I huffed. I sipped my butterbeer angrily.

“How could anyone hate you?” Ben asked with a smile.

“There are plenty of ways, I assure you,” I said.


The dog followed Ben and me around all day. Every time Ben would go to grab my hand, the dog would jump between us and growl at Ben. Every time Ben got close enough to kiss me, the dog would jump between us and growl at Ben. And every time I tried to tell the dog to shoo, the dog would jump between us and growl at Ben. Then look at me and wag it’s tail. I was relieved that when Ben suggested heading back up to the castle, the dog turned and ran off.

So, the date was ruined by a dog, but otherwise everything went fine. Besides the stupid thoughts of Sirius that kept making their way into my mind when ever something Ben did reminded me of Sirius. That made my head hurt, pushing each and every thought from my head.

As we made our way back up to the castle I saw Lily and James walking ahead. They were holding hands and Lily was laughing at something James had just said. I thought back to me and Ben. Yeah, we were holding hands, but we hadn’t exactly laughed much the whole time. I don’t think that was because of the dog either. And I noticed that Ben seemed more comfortable around me if we were around people. Or if we were in the library with me sad or doing homework. Otherwise, conversation was limited. It was never like that with Sirius. We could—

No! I am going to stop comparing Ben to Sirius because Ben is not Sirius and never will be so I might as well forget about it.

“Well, Libby, I guess I’ll see you later?” Ben asked. I jerked back into the real world. We were standing in the Entrance Hall. I smiled.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, “I had fun today.”

“Me, too,” Ben said, “Except for that dog.”

“Bye Ben,” I laughed.

“See you,” Ben grinned.

I walked up to the Gryffindor Common room to find Sirius exactly where he was when I left; hunched over parchment and text books doing homework. He looked up when the portrait opened and stared at me. There was a knowing look in his eyes as he looked down. The common room was a bit full so I had to walk over.

“What?” I asked a bit harsher then I intended.

“What do mean ‘what’?” Sirius countered looking up at me.

“You were staring at me like you knew something,” I accused.

“I was just seeing if you were James. He was real nervous this morning. I don’t know why seeing how he and Lily have been together almost three months, as he constantly reminds me.” Sirius said, smirking at the last bit.

“Whatever,” I said before turning around.

“Wait, Libby, how’d your date go with Carlson?” Sirius said, grabbing my hand. Which he quickly dropped, leaving it tingling at my side.

“It was fine,” I said a bit awkwardly. And then for a reason I can’t say, I went on, “Some stray was following us everywhere. It was friendly enough, but it got annoying when it kept getting between me and Ben.”

“Really now?” Sirius asked, sitting back.

“Yeah. And I ran into Remus in Honeydukes,” I laughed as i sat down, “Let’s just say that his chocolate drawer might not close for a while.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Remus will eat most of the old stuff to make way for the new,” Sirius grinned. I laughed again, enjoying the chance to speak with Sirius in a friendly manner again.

“So, what did you do?” I asked.

“Just, er, homework,” Sirius said, looking away.

“Which reminds me of the pile I still need to do,” I groaned leaning back in the chair.

“None of it is to hard,” Sirius assured me. I rolled my eyes when the portrait opened once more and James and Lily walked in. James kissed Lily quickly before she disappeared up the girls dormitories. James spotted me talking with Sirius and quickly went up to the boys dormitory.

“I’m going to go see Lily is doing,” I said standing, “And get started on that homework before dinner.”

“See you,” Sirius said. I smiled and went up to my dormitory.

It was so weird. I’m mad at Sirius yet I was just able to talk to him like nothing had ever changed between us. And I felt happy as I went to my dormitory. I stopped outside the door. I think, finally, I was facing the truth. The horrible truth that makes my stomach twist. But it explained why just looking at Sirius can brighten my day. How I keep thinking of Sirius when I’m with Ben. Why I never can kiss Ben without thinking of Sirius. Why I constantly compare Ben to Sirius. And it’s been this way all year, maybe even before, but I’ve been to blind and stupid to notice it.

I, Libby Cullen, am falling in love with Sirius Black.

A/N:You guys are great, really. I love you. I was going to wait to put this up. Seriously, I was going to wait like two days or so. But then I saw that you all were doing what I asked and reviewing, so I thought, what the heck? Might as well update now.

Did the chapter satisfy you all??

Now, a little something from Chapter Twelve: I'm Not Okay (I Promise):

“Yeah, but, Libby, I was watching you through Transfiguration. You seemed distracted by Sirius,” James smirked. I looked at him, angry that I had been so obvious.

“I said it in the first class and I’ll say it now. He’s very distracting,” I said.

“Even when he isn’t doing anything?” James asked, his smirk getting bigger. I sighed. I could trust James, but I wasn’t so sure if I could trust him while we’re dealing with his best friend.

“That’s when he’s most distracting,” I muttered. James laughed quietly.

You get to see a little of Sirius' point of view in the next chapter, too. And a different side of Ben. Hehe.

Oh yeah, I'm thinking about starting another Sirius/OC. Actually, I've already written the prologue. I'm not sure when to post it up, though. . .

Keep reviewing. It really makes me want to update everyday.

Chapter 12: I'm Not Okay(I Promise)
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: JKR owns it all. Lyrics owned by My Chemical Romance.

Chapter Twelve
I’m Not Okay(I Promise)

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, yeah
(I'm okay, yeah)

wish you were really hear listening to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I realize I'm okay!
(Trust me.)

---My Chemical Romance "I'm Not Okay(I Promise)"

Sunday I kept as busy as possible. I did my homework as slowly and detailed I could go just to keep my mind from drifting off. Once I was done, which was much to soon, I got James to lend me one of his book on werewolves, which he has way to many of, and buried my nose in the pages for as long as possibly. Anything to keep myself from thinking about him.

Lily and Kirsten knew something was up Monday morning. Just seeing how I got dressed lazily and did my make-up as perfect as possible. I find doing make-up takes a lot of concentration(an art, Kirsten calls it) and a good way to take my mind off thing. And how I also did my hair in a cute little style as another distraction. My appearance then looked to good. But I didn’t have time to fix it because I was going to be late if I didn’t go to breakfast now.

In the Great Hall I saw him for the first time since I had finally admitted the cold, horrible truth to myself. He was sitting with James, Peter, and Remus as usual. He did seem a lot happier as he tried to catch the grapes James was tossing into his open mouth. As immature as the stunt was, he made it look like the latest thing. I sighed and followed Lily and Kirsten, who had been throwing me looks all morning, towards James. Oh no! That was going to land me a spot next to him!

“Lily, must we sit with them?” I asked. Lily and Kirsten looked at me.

“Oh, come on, Libby, just don’t talk to Sirius,” Kirsten rolled her eyes and pulled me over to them. She sat herself between me and Sirius, much to my relief. Lily sat across from us besides James, who stopped throwing the grapes as soon as he spotted her.

“Hey!” James said, kissing Lily softly. He looked at me, “Quidditch practice tonight, Libs. Right after dinner.”

“Yes, sir!” I said, saluting my long time friend.

“I have detention, James!” Sirius whined. God, he sounds sexy even then.

“With who?” James asked.

“Mcgonagall. She keeps telling me she’s not my mother,” Sirius pouted. I had just lifted my glass of pumpkin juice to my mouth and taken a big gulp of it when Sirius said this. For some reason, I found this funnier then I ever would have before and snorted, very unladylike, into my juice.

“Ew, Libby, that’s disgusting,” Kirsten said, but Sirius and James were laughing hysterically. Sirius’s bark like laugh echoing across the hall, causing many to turn towards us.

“Sorry,” I said, looking into my cup with a wrinkled nose, “I couldn’t help it.”

“Anyways, Sirius, why in the world are you calling Mcgonagall your mother?” Lily asked. It was a pointless question. The Marauders are always doing pointless things like this.

“I was in detention with her Friday, remember?” Sirius asked, we nodded, “Well, I was thinking about how much Mcgonagall acts like a mother. Always yelling at James and me, telling us to do good on tests and to study, you know, all the things that I’ve been deprived of since the day I was born. So, I told Mcgonagall I was going to call her Mum. I said it one to many times and she gave me another detention.”

“You’re a git, Sirius,” James said, shaking his head, but he was grinning.

“I’ve been told,” Sirius said, throwing a sideway look at me. I looked at my cereal with a guilty expression.

“I may be able to get you out of it though. We have our first match in almost three weeks,” James said, “I will asked Mcgonagall if she can hold your detention tomorrow instead of tonight so we can practice.”

“Yes! I know a new line we can use on her,” Sirius grinned, “I overheard her talking to Flitwick the other day. It’s perfect.”

“You guys are arrogant suck-ups,” Kirsten said rolling her eyes. James and Sirius grinned at one another knowing it was true. I had to smile, too.

As we walked out of the Great Hall, the boys having hung back for a while longer, Lily and Kirsten looked at me. They were trying to stare me down, I knew they were, but I was determined to ignore them.

“I think there was something happening back there,” Kirsten said finally.

“Huh?” I asked.

“Between you and Sirius. I could practically feel the vibes coming off you two and you weren’t even sitting or talking to one another,” Kirsten smirked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said honestly.

“What’s up with you today, though, Libs,” Lily asked, “You are acting so off.”

“Nothing is wrong, I’m fine,” I forced a smile and Kirsten stared a bit longer before leading the way to Transfiguration.

We took our seats and I tried hard to pretend I didn’t care that Sirius was sitting right next to me. Then Mcgonagall came into the room, and I made the mistake of turning towards Sirius to get my black quill that I bought out of my bag. It had become my favorite and worked the best out of all my quills. However, turning towards Sirius forced me to look at him. Not good.

“Today,” Professor Mcgonagall said from the front of her classroom, “We are going over Animagi. We covered them briefly in third year, but now we are going to study them in depth. Who can tell me what an animagus is?”

I wasn’t paying attention. I was still being forced to sit next to Sirius and watching him play with his wand was enchanting. For some odd reason, I knew that James was watching me. He only sat two rows behind me and had the perfect view of me. Yet, I could not bring myself to pull my eyes off of Sirius to check. It was hard for him to be describe with such simple words like hot, sexy, gorgeous, and beautiful. Ever since my horrible confession, he has look ten times better then I had thought. He was.... breathtaking.

Sirius looked at me suddenly, looking straight into my eyes. A small voice in my head told me to look away and pay attention because I might just do something stupid. My heart, as corny as it sounds, seemed to have taken over my mind and forced me to look right back. And I knew the look in my eye was more of a affectionate look then of hatred and anger.

“Mr. Black, Miss Cullen,” Mcgonagall’s voice made our heads snap back to the front of the room, our minds back into reality, “I suggest you use my class to learn, not to host a staring contest.” she scolded. Yet, her voice was softer then it usually would have been and I swear she was smiling as she turned around.

I didn’t hear another word all through the lesson. My eye were on Mcgonagall. I saw her walking around, her mouth moving, and so on. My focus, however, was still on Sirius. I could see him from the corner of my eye, once again playing with his quill. Every so often he would jerk his head to the left to get his long bangs out of his eyes. It was the most frustrating class I had ever sat through. I was going to die in potions.

Once Mcgonagall released us, I left. I didn’t wait for Kirsten and Lily, I just left. I had to get away from Sirius. However, halfway down the corridor, James chased after me.

“Oi!” he called, “Libby! Wait up!”

I stopped and turned around, “Yeah?”

“You okay?” he asked.

“Everyone keeps asking me that,” I groaned, “I’m fine!”

“Okay,” James said raising up his hands in defeat, “Just making sure. You seem distracted.”

“Aren’t we all?” I asked as I began walking again.

“Yeah, but, Libby, I was watching you through Transfiguration. You seemed distracted by Sirius,” James smirked. I looked at him, angry that I had been so obvious.

“I said it in the first class and I’ll say it now. He’s very distracting,” I said.

“Even when he isn’t doing anything?” James asked, his smirk getting bigger. I sighed. I could trust James, but I wasn’t so sure if I could trust him while we’re dealing with his best friend.

“That’s when he’s most distracting,” I muttered. James laughed quietly.

“Well, I say it’s about time! Now, you just have to tell Sirius and he will actually laugh again!” he said. I stopped and looked at James seriously.

“If you tell him, I swear I will cut off your head!” I threatened.

“Aw, come on, Libby. He has the right to know! I mean he’s more in love with you then I am with Lily!” James urged.

“He’s in love with me?” I gasped, “Like seriously in love?”

“Yeah,” James said nodding as if it were obvious, “I remember when he told me, in our forth year. We had just played that game against the Ravenclaws, the one you almost screwed up because you were to busy looking at Carlson. Sirius and I were the last ones in the locker room and I was teasing him that he had some competition now. Sirius was smiling, but he was quiet and when we were about to leave the locker room, Sirius just sort of looked at me with this dazed look on his face and said, ‘James, I think I’m in love with her’ and I laughed because at fourteen I didn’t really believe love could exist until I realized I was in love with Lily. But Sirius was so, uh, serious about what he said that I knew he wasn’t just saying that. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to talk to you like a normal person. You were to intimidating to him.”

“No way,” I whispered. I looked at James, sort of surprised, “And you never told me?!”

“Why would I tell you something as serious as that?” James asked, looking appalled, “Sirius would hate me if I told you. I did lay down some hints though and Sirius would always yell at me later, but you always looked right past them. I finally just you kiss him, hoping that something would happen. And it did! Sirius was wearing a goofy smile for weeks and now you are falling for him!”

“Oh, James, I’m confused,” I muttered. James frowned, looking at me as I went on, “It’s just, I’m with Ben. I can’t be dreaming of Sirius when I’m with Ben.”

“So break up with the Ravenclaw git and get with Sirius!” James said loudly. I shushed him and looked around. The corridor, oddly enough, was empty.

“I can’t just break up with him!” I gasped, “I promised him that I would dump him and go running to Sirius!”

“Libby, you and Sirius are destined to be together!” James said looking at me like I should have known that.

“Yeah, but I don’t break promises as easily,” I snapped.

“It’ll hurt him worse if you continue to go out with him when you really want someone else,” James argued. I glared at him for making a good point then looked away.

“I can’t break up with him. Not yet,” I muttered.

“Would it help if I told you why Sirius thinks Ben wants to get in your pants?” James asked, smiling.

“No.” I said simply. I looked at my watch as the bell rang singling that everyone should be in their classes, “But thanks for making us late.”

“You’re welcome, Libby,” James grinned.

Slughorn was directing the class to start the Memory potion we’ve been learning about for weeks. He glanced up when James and I walked in, but didn’t say anything. I took my seat next to Sirius silently. His potions book was open to the steps of making the Memory potion and he was pulling out ingredients. I pulled my own book out and took collected some ingredients from the storage cabinet. When I returned, James was talking to Sirius over the table. My stomach twisted, begging that he wasn’t telling Sirius anything about our most recent conversation.

As soon as the two saw me, they stopped talking and turned back to their potions. I eyed James suspiciously, but he was avoiding my gaze and smirking slightly. Taking a deep breath, I started to chop up Ginger roots. I noticed Sirius watching me and stopped to look up at him.

“What?” I snapped.

“Nothing,” Sirius said calmly, “You just look very nice today.”

“Uh,” I said, “Thanks.”

My heart swelled up with happiness.


Over the next two weeks, I found it hard to concentrate. James assured me that he didn’t tell Sirius anything. I slipped some truth potion, stolen from Slughorn, into his pumpkin juice one morning and luckily he really hadn’t. I knew I could trust him.

However, I still found talking to Sirius hard, sometimes. Like in classes I was fine. When talking with James and Remus, I was fine. But when it was just me and Sirius I began to withdraw with fear of slipping up or flirting with him or something worse. James seemed to be forcing us together a lot, too. I finally had to pull him aside and tell him to stop it. He didn’t.

The teachers seemed to want Sirius and me to get together, too. I don’t know what’s so special about us or our relationship with one another, but Flitwick would always beam at us when we talked in his class. Mcgonagall was nicer to us and I swear she always smiled when Sirius would start helping me transfigure whatever it is we were working on that day in class. Hagrid, who technically wasn’t a teacher, would pass by us, grinning, and say how good we look together. Worse, Dumbledore would look pleased whenever I sat next to Sirius at meal times. Stupid teachers know something that I really would like to know.

I can’t interfere with fate now, can I?

The worse thing in the past two week, however, was having to speak with Ben. I tried to break up with him more then once, but we were always interrupted or I would chicken out. He didn’t expect anything, I don’t think, even with me reluctance to kiss him and hug him. I felt bad because this wasn’t fair to Ben. Daydreaming while talking with him, pulling my hand from his to pretend I needed to scratch my nose or push hair out of my face, and giving weak smiles whenever Ben would mention how glad he was that I didn’t dump him for Sirius.

James would corner me frequently in the hall asking me if I dumped Ben yet. I would sadly say no and keep walking. He would be giving me these glaring looks for the rest of the day before asking me again.

Soon, three weeks had gone by. Ben and I were still together and Sirius and I were still awkward with one another. I was so glad when the first Quidditch match of the year came in the middle of November. Quidditch made me happy, especially at games. And it was nice conditions, too, on the Saturday morning of the game which just so happened to be Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. Is that a sign?

Anyways, I woke up early, happier and more relaxed then I had been all year long. I went down to the Great Hall where people were dressed in blue and reds to show their support for whichever team. I made my way to where the rest of the Gryffindor team was sitting with a confident bounce in my step.

“You look happy,” a voice said before I reached my team. I turned to see Ben. He was smiling and looked just as confident as me.

“I am!” I said, grinning widely.

“We’re playing against one another you know,” Ben said, frowning. I tried to make myself frown, but failed.

“Yeah, I guess we are,” I shrugged. Then I grinned, “Promise not to be mad when we kick your butt?”

“Oh yeah,” Ben said sarcastically, then smiled and added, “If you promise not to be a sore loser when we win!”

“I’m afraid that promise won’t be necessary,” I smirked. Then, for Ben’s sake, I kissed him on the cheek because kissing on his mouth was to hard, and went to my team where James was frowning at me.

I ate some toast and drank some pumpkin juice. Once I was done, James stood up, looking pleased and confident.

“Time to go!” he said, rubbing him hands together. I stood with the rest of the team and we started to leave. Until Kirsten ran up to us, smiling. I was glad to see her smile, she had just broken up with Michael Lambert and she was quite upset about it.

However, I frowned at she walked right up to Sirius, who looked ready to get out on the field. He looked at her and her smile turned to a smirk.

“Good luck, Sirius,” she said and then pulled the collar of his shirt and stood on her tiptoes, planting a kiss right on Sirius’s mouth. I felt my blood rush to my face as I glared at Kirsten and Sirius kiss passionately. Jealousy ran through my veins as Kirsten pulled away and walking away, smirking. Sirius looked confused at to what had happened and looked at me who was glaring at Kirsten, red faced, hands balled into fists at me side.

“Uh,” James said, confused, too, “Let’s go.”

I changed into my Quidditch robes angrily. Darcy was looking at me like I was some crazy person as I jammed on my Chaser gloves and strapped them on tightly. Then, as I slammed my locker shut so hard it bounced back open, Sirius appeared next to me, smirking slightly.

“You don’t have to be mad,” he said, “It’s not like I am in love with Kirsten now.”

“I’m not mad,” I snapped.

“Sure you’re not,” Sirius said, swinging his Beaters bat and leaning against the lockers.

“I’m not,” I repeated, “I’m just, er, nervous about playing against my boyfriend.”

“Whatever,” Sirius muttered.

“Okay, guys,” James said, grinning at us all, “Let’s get out there and show those gits what it’s like to lose!”

We all trooped out of the locker rooms to the loud cheering of the crowd. My anger, though still there, was forgotten as we climbed onto our brooms. This was one of the best things about Hogwarts. And I could even have more fun because I didn’t have to worry about those stupid goggles I had to wear in the past. Now I was able to see.

“Welcome to the first Quidditch match of the year, Gryffindor verses Ravenclaw!” came Alice’s magnified voice, “And here’s the Ravenclaws. Captain Montoya, Jones, Day, Carlson, Davies, and Allen! With new Beaters! And now the Gryffindors! Captain Potter, Cullen, Longbottom, Black, Smith, Murphy, and Jones! With a new Beater, Keeper, and Chaser!”

We did one lap around the field and then met the Ravenclaws on the ground. James and Ravenclaw’s new captain, Nick Montoya, shook hands. I looked at Ben, who winked at me, but there was a look in his eye I can’t explain. I had a bad feeling he saw my reaction to Kirsten kissing Sirius. I smiled at him as warmly as possible.

“And they’re off! Ravenclaw in possession! Ben Carlson passes to Derek Davies who passes it back to Carlson who—Ouch! Nice Bludger from Gryffindor Beater, Sirius Black—Carlson drops the Quaffle. Libby Cullen catches it and tosses to James Potter who tosses to the newest Chaser to the team, Frank Longbottom. Fran—I mean, Longbottom passes back to Potter and he tosses back to Cullen who dodges a Bludger from Jeremy Day and shoots for a goal. NO! Keeper Nick Montoya blocks it and tossed the game back in play. Yes! Potter intercepts the toss and tosses to Longbottom. Yes! He scores. 10-0 Gryffindor.”

The crowd screamed as James and I high-fived Frank, cheering. Then we went back to the game. It was pretty nasty, as most games were, but I had a feeling Sirius was going to try and break Ben’s neck with those Bludgers. James was determined to beat Ravenclaw and was playing hard and fast, as was I. Soon, the game was 60-40 to Gryffindor. Drew Murphy searched the pitch for the Snitch but had yet to see nothing. Gerri Jones, the Ravenclaw seeker, spotted the Snitch once, but it got away thanks to a well aimed Bludger from Darcy.

“Gryffindor in possession!” Alice was really into the game. I had no idea she liked Quidditch so much, “Frank—I mean, Longbottom passes to Cullen. Cullen passes it back and swerves from a Bludger. Longbottom passes once more to Cullen. She doges another Bludger and tosses to Potter who shoots! And he scores! 70-40 Gryffindor! Ravenclaw back in possession! Carlson swerves from Cullen and Potter. A Bludger just misses him. And yes! Another one hit from Smith meets its target. Cullen catches the Quaffle and heads back towards the goals. Oh no!”

The Quaffle was tucked by my hip. My eyes were on the goal and I didn’t see the bludger coming until it was to later. I threw my body back to keep it from hitting my face. However, my Nimbus jerked upwards where my face was. The Bludger hit the top half of the handle, breaking it off. I dropped the Quaffle and tried to keep my balance. I was more then 50 feet in the air, if I fell, I’d be dead. But I couldn’t keep my balance and fell forward, off my broom.

All I remember is the ground rushing towards me. At first I clawed the air as if looking for something to grab onto in panic. Then I just kept falling and shut my eyes tight, waiting for the blow.

And then, “Oof!” there was no pain and I could still sort of feel myself falling. I was suddenly awear that I had found something to grab onto and slowly opened my eyes. The second I saw Sirius’s familiar black hair and I realized I was clinging to him like a scared child would do their mother, I recognized Sirius’s familiar smell. I looked down, we were less then 10 feet from the ground. He must of caught me and the sudden weight made his Shooting Star sink a little.

“Sirius Black caught her!” I suddenly was awear of Alice’s voice again. She sounded frantic and I could picture her standing up, bouncing slightly, “He caught her! Oh Merlin, he caught her!”

I shut my eyes again as Sirius landed.

“Libby?” I heard his soft voice in my ear and it slowed my racing heart, “Libby, love, are you okay?”

“Oh, my God! Libby!” I heard James said.

“Are you okay?” I heard Darcy shriek.

“It’s okay, Libby, you can let go, we’re on the ground,” Sirius whispered. I slowly let go and he set me on the ground softly. I realized I was shaking and as soon as Sirius let go of me, my legs gave way. He caught me once more.

“Libby?” Ben was suddenly there, “Are you alright? You scared me! My whole mind completely froze up!”

“Libby? Come on, love, say something!” Sirius said, shaking me slightly. I just stared at him. He seemed more worried then anyone. My legs shook again, even though Sirius was holding me up. I felt sick and leaned over, barfing up my breakfast. Someone had pushed my hair out of my face, I realized. Then, everything starting getting black. I was briefly awear of someone calling my name once more and then nothing.


“Oh no!” Alice Stewart’s voice shrieked. I spun around on my broom in time to see a Bludger take off the front end of Libby’s broom. I gasped as I watched the fear on her face as she tried to stay in the air. The whole school had their eyes fixed on Libby as she fell forward.

“Someone catch her!” Alice was screaming, “Oh my, God! Someone!”

Before I knew it I was flying forward faster then I ever had before. I was in a sharp and dangerous dive and speeding towards Libby. I straightened as I grew level with her and then “Oof!” I said as she landed heavily in my arms. My broom sank a bit at the added weight, not that Libby was heavy she was really very light.

She was clinging to me tightly. It was almost as if she knew I was safe as her arms found their way around my neck and hung on tightly. I lowered my broom to the ground and let it drop.

“Libby?” I murmured in her ear, “Libby, love, are you okay?”

James and the others were landing as well, but my focus was on Libby and nothing else. She was still holding onto me. I could feel her shaking in my arms.

“It’s okay, Libby, you can let go, we’re on the ground,” I said. Slowly, Libby let go and I set her up right on her feet. For a minute she was okay, then her knees shook and she fell. I grabbed her around her waist.

“Libby!” Carlson was suddenly there, “Are you alright? You scared me! My whole mind completely froze up!”

I glared at Ben Carlson. He was close enough to Libby to have grabbed her when she had fallen only two feet. I wanted to punch him. He didn’t realize she had fallen till Alice was screaming it. But Libby wasn’t even responding to her boyfriend!

“Libby? Come on, love, say something,” I urged. I knew I shouldn’t had been calling Libby “love” with her boyfriend standing there, but I was to worried about Libby to remind myself that I can’t call her that.

She was standing there, shaking and pale when she leaned over and threw up. I pulled her curls back for her with my other hand. Then she straightened, looking even paler then before.

Libby suddenly went limp in my arms. I quickly lifted her legs so I was holding her bridal style. She looked pale from her fall and a bit sick, too. I looked at James, who seemed unsure of what to do. Both the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor team were on the ground along with the ref. In the stands, everyone was standing, trying to get a better look of what was going on.

“She should go to the hospital wing,” Mcgonagall said, suddenly next to us. She looked at Libby helplessly.

“I’ll take her,” I said. Obviously, as I am the one carrying her.

“What about the game, Professor?” Ben asked. Idiot. His girlfriend just fell 50 feet and passed out in another guy’s arms and he’s worried about a stupid game.

“We’ll forfeit,” James said, looking pained, “I refuse to finish the game without Libby and I know the rest of the team, along with me, want to make sure she’s okay.”

He glanced at me as he spoke. He knew very well that if I left now, I wasn’t going to come back. I looked down at the girl in my arms. She truly was gorgeous. She was so soft and delicate looking in my arms. Everyday I fell harder and harder for her. I felt as if it were my duty to protect her forever.

“No,” said Nick Montoya, “I won’t let you forfeit!”

“Why not?” James asked.

“Because I want a fair match. Professor, when Cullen is better can we have a rematch?” Montoya asked. Dumbledore appeared next to the troubled looking Mcgonagall.

“Sirius,” he said to me, “Take Miss Cullen to the hospital wing. She might be in a bit of a shock.”

“Yes, Professor,” I said, startled that Dumbledore called me by my first name. He had never done that before. It was always Mr. Black or something. I hurried away back to the school.

A/N: This chapter turned me against Ben. I'm not sure if it did the same for you, but. . .yeah, anyways, I just want to give you all a great big hug!! I love coming home everyday to find a little over two pages of reviews waiting for me to respond, becaus i do respond to all my reviews.

Anyways, now that i've bragged and thanks you all, here's a little something from chapter. . .uh, oh, 13: My Everything (Lifehouse!

Chapter 13: Everything
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer:Everything is JKRs with lyrics by Lifehouse

Chapter Thirteen

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

--Lifehouse "Everything"

I felt sick. My eyes were heavy as I opened them to see I was in the Hospital Wing. For a moment, I was at complete loss of how I had gotten here and why. As far as I could tell, I wasn’t bandaged and I felt no pain. I sat up and instantly leaned over the side of the bed as bile rushed into my mouth.

“Libby?” someone said gently. I looked up to see Ben, Lily, Kirsten, Remus, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team standing in the door way.

“Hey guys,” I croaked.

“You gave us a scare,” James said instantly by my bed.

“We thought you were going to die!” Lily said still looking a little pale.

“It was the scariest thing! Thank merlin Sirius caught you,” Kirsten added smiling. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.

“What happened?” I asked because I seriously did not understand what was wrong with me that I was actually in the hospital wing for it.

“Jeremy hit a Bludger at you during the game. When you dodged it, it hit your broom instead and broke it. You fell about 50 feet when Black caught you. I would have, but I completely froze,” Ben explained. I eyed him curiosity. Was Ben mad that Sirius had caught me?

“Where is Sirius, anyways?” Kirsten asked. My blood seethed as I remembered what she had done before the match. I glared at her before looking at James.

“What about the game?”

“We’re going to have a rematch after Christmas holiday,” he said, “Montoya wouldn’t let me forfeit.”

“You almost gave up the match?!” I gasped.

“Yeah, you’re like my sister, Libs, I wasn’t going to let you lay in here while we finish a stupid game!” James looked horrified at the idea, “Besides, Sirius brought you up here. I didn’t expect him to be coming back.”

“Seriously, guys,” Kirsten whined, “Where’s Sirius?”

Everyone was silent for a moment as they thought. Sirius wasn’t in the room. I felt lightheaded at the thought of Sirius saving my life. My stomach tightened as I remembered how close I had been to Sirius. I wanted to be that close to him again. I could put it off no longer. I had to break up with Ben. I needed to do it now.

“Guys, can I talk to Ben for a minute?” I asked. When everyone looked at one another with clueless expressions, I rolled my eyes, “Alone?”

“Oh yeah, sure,” James said suddenly looking cheerful and walking out. Everyone followed him except Ben, who looked at me.

He deserved so much more then me. He really did. I was such a horrible person for continuing to go out with him. It will be my fault I break his heart. He was going to hate me if I do end up with Sirius. I took a deep breath.

“Ben, look I—”

“I think we should break up,” Ben cut in. I looked up at him.


“I think we should break up,” he repeated, “Things don’t seem right any more. I can tell. You never look me in the eye anymore.”

“Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry,” I said.

“Yeah, me too. But it’s for the best, I guess,” Ben shrugged, “Hopefully we can still be friends?”

“Yeah, I would like that,” I smiled.

“Okay, then. I’m glad we agree this is best,” he sighed, “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye, Ben. You really are a great guy. Whichever girl you end up with will be lucky,” I smiled. Ben was at the door by now. I turned and looked at me with sad eyes.

“Not as lucky as the girl Sirius Black will end up with,” he said and then whispered, “I love you, Libby.”


I sat alone in the Hospital wing all afternoon. I had no idea where my friends had gone, I expected them to come back after Ben left, but they never did. So I sat by myself, staring at the ceiling while Madam Pomfrey sat in her office doing something or the other.

Lunch came and went. My stomach growled, but I did not leave. Madam Pomfrey will have my head. It was really unnecessary for me to be here since there really was nothing wrong with me. I never hit the ground. And it had to be normal for a girl to be a bit shaky after falling 50 feet in the air. My whole life could have ended right there.

Faint footsteps were coming up the hall outside the open door. Was it James or Lily? Hopefully Sirius? I still hadn’t seen him and he was my life saver. I sat up in the bed and tried to look like I was somewhat enjoying myself. The footsteps entered the room and I looked up, trying to look curious and not hopeful. To my disappointment, it was James who had come to see me. Not Sirius.

“Hey,” he said, pulling up a chair and sitting down.

“Hello,” I replied, my voice dripping with disappointment.

“Sorry, I tried to get Sirius to come,” James explained, “But he wouldn’t for some reason. I would have thought he would be dragging me here and not leaving your side till you were gone.”

“Oh,” was all I could say.

“So, how did it go with Ben?” James asked making himself sound casual.

“Alright, I guess. He actually broke up with me before I could break up with him,” I explained, “And then he walked out telling me he loved me.”

“He’s trying to make you feel guilty,” James said, rolling his eyes.

“I think he meant it, though,” I shrugged.

“Who cares?” James asked, “At least you two are over and you and Sirius can get together now. This is exciting! I feel as happy as I did when Lily agreed to go out with me!”

“Nothing is for sure yet, James,” I said remembering, once more, the kiss that Kirsten had shared with Sirius before the game. James seemed to know what I was thinking.

“Sirius isn’t ever going to end up with Kirsten, Libby. He is completely in love with you and nothing can change that. So, Kirsten will have to get over Sirius and find someone who is not already taken,” James said carelessly, leaning on the back legs of his chair.

“Yeah, I guess,” I shrugged. Madam Pomfrey bustled from her office and I tried one more time, “Can I leave?”

“No!” the medi-witch snapped, “No, you may not. You will leave when I say you can. Now, drink this potion, it helps with nerves and shock.”

I drank the foul smelling potion with reluctance and shuddered as it made it’s way down the back of my throat. Madam Pomfrey made sure I drank the goblet clean and then went back into her office telling me to stay put. I looked at a smirking James who seemed to enjoy me being tortured by the medi-witch.

“How’s my broom?” I asked.

“Destroyed,” James shrugged, “If we can manage to fix it, it will never fly the same again. I suggest you just buy a new one.”

“Damn,” I muttered, “I liked my broom.”

“It was getting old anyways,” James shrugged, “I mean, the acceleration wasn’t as good as it used to be and to would never fly straight anymore unless you were trying really hard to direct it.”

“How do you know?” I asked. He was speaking the truth.

“I can tell when you fly,” James shrugged, “But that’s not important. You had a Nimbus 900, but I suggest you get a Nimbus 1000 or a Shooting Star, like Sirius. Maybe even the new Comet Two-Sixty. I heard that they’re pretty good. Or—”

“James, I’ll probably just get a new Nimbus,” I said.

“Oh, fine,” James pouted.

“And I have to talk to Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott. They won’t be to happy about me killing my broom,” I groaned. My Nimbus 900 was expensive. I had gotten it the year it had come out when it had cost the most.

“It’s almost Christmas,” James said, grinning, “The broom could be your Christmas present!”

“Yeah, I guess,” I shrugged.

James left after about an hour. I laid back in the bed, once again bored. I had liked James there, making me laugh. He had taken my mind off Sirius, but now my thoughts were traveling back to him. My heart started to be faster at the thought of telling him that I’m done with Ben. I couldn’t wait any longer.

I sat up and climbed out of ben. I tiptoed towards the open doors at the other side of the room. If I can get out there, I can run for it. As I past Madam Pomfrey’s room, I ducked and crawled on the floor. The door burst open, just missing my head by inches. I held my breath.

Madam Pomfrey looked at my bed and gasped when she saw it empty. I bit my lip as she looked around the room. Then her eyes landed on me. They narrowed dangerously and I smiled weakly, knowing I was in so much trouble.

“Uh, hi,” I said trying to sound laid back and relaxed.

“Get back in bed!” Madam Pomfrey snapped. I jumped to my feet and she grabbed my arm in a rather firm grip, “You will stay here until I say you may leave!”

She shoved me onto the bed and shut the doors with her wand. Then she shut the heavy doors with her wand and locked them in place. Then she forced me to give up my own and she went into her office with it. I groaned and laid back once more. I had a feeling she was going to keep me in here longer now.


I was released from the hospital wing a few hours later. Madam Pomfrey had indeed kept me for a longer period of time to get back I mean. I least, I think she did. I left in a hurry once she handed back my wand and unlocked the doors. My skin tingled for Sirius’s touch. I just had to find him and tell him. Now. It had been much to long since I last saw him. I burst into the Gryffindor common room and saw Lily and Kirsten instead.

“Libby! We were just heading to dinner and then planning on visiting you!” Lily said hugging me.

“I was released. Do you know where Sirius is?” I asked.

Kirsten grinned, “I think I have another chance with Sirius, Libby. I mean, before when I kissed him I was testing him. He was talking to me after the match and seemed really interested! Can you believe it?”

I just stared at Kirsten before looking away hurt. She doesn’t know that I am falling for Sirius. She has every right to try to be with him. But I felt as if Sirius was mine. Is mine. Like I own him. But he’s a person, not a toy or object. I looked back at Kirsten and bit my lip.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing, it’s just, well...” my voice trailed off.

“Just what?” Kirsten asked. Then her eyes widened, “You like him?”

“Well,” I said, “yeah.”

“Since when?” Lily asked curiously.

“Before the Hogsmeade trip,” I muttered.

There was a long silence. They felt betrayed from me not telling them. I looked at them and was surprised by their looks. Lily was smiling. She had known, I realized, whether it had been from James or not, she had indeed known. Kirsten on the other hand probably resembled what I looked like before when she kissed Sirius. Red faced and pissed off. I tried to smiled.

“You like Ben though! You’ve been with him for almost a month!” Kirsten shrieked.

“Yeah and it was a waste,” I said.

“You gave up your chance with Sirius!” she hissed.

“He never said he was done with me,” I countered.

“But you said you were!” she snapped.

“I lied,” I said simply. Then explained, “James says that Sirius has liked me since first year. That he was in love with me since forth. I think I’ve liked Sirius since he kissed me over the summer. I was just to stubborn to admit it. I’m sorry Kirsten.”
“No you’re not!” Kirsten said before turning and stomping up the stairs.

I looked at Lily and she shrugged.

“She’ll get over it, Libs,” she assured me, “Just go find Sirius. It’s about time you two get together.”

“Do you know where he is?” I asked.

“Try his dormitory. I think he and James went up there to get ready for dinner,” Lily suggested. I smiled.

I climbed the staircase up to their dormitory. I didn’t hesitate to knock on the door or anything. I just pushed it open. The four Marauders were there. Remus was eating a chocolate bar from Honeydukes. James was playing with the Golden Snitch, which he probably stole, and Peter was staring at him expectantly. Sirius, looking like a God, was leaning against his bed. All four of them looked at me from their circle on the floor, startled by the interruption. James smiled the second he saw me.

For a split second, I considered just asking to talk to Sirius alone, but that would mean having to wait for three boys to leave and then I would have to find my nerves again to tell Sirius. Right now, my skin was tingling, my heart racing and my heart was in control. I didn’t even bother looking at the other three. I went right up to Sirius, kneeled down on my knees and kissed him.

I had thought that our last kiss was amazing, but it faded compared to this. Our lips melted together and moved as one. The kiss sent waves of passion and love through me. For a second I didn’t think I could handle the intensity of the kiss and was ready to pulled away, but like the last two times, I could not. Something held me in place. I don’t know how long I was pressed up against Sirius feeling how I should have felt all year, but when I pulled away it was much to soon. I smiled and blushed slightly as I looked at the other three shocked and amazed Marauders.

“Okay, guys, come on,” Remus said, coming to his senses first and standing up. He slapped James and Peter on the back of their heads and dragged them out of the room. I turned back towards Sirius.

“What about Ben?” he asked.

“We’re over,” I said, surprised that James hadn’t told him. I fixed my position so I was more comfortable and closer to Sirius, “I need you, Sirius. I literally need you.”

“For real?” Sirius asked. He didn’t seem able to believe it.

“Yes, Sirius, for real,” I said. Tears were in my eyes but they didn’t spill over. Sirius grinned and kissed me again. He moaned as I kissed him back hungrily. This is what I want.

“Then be my girlfriend,” Sirius said when we pulled back, looking into my eyes, “Be my girlfriend, my lover, my everything.”

“Yes,” I murmured, pressing my forehead to his, “I’ll be your everything.”

“I love you more then words can say.” Sirius whispered longingly.

“Me too, Sirius,” I replied. I knew Kirsten would be mad at this. Ben would hate me and every other girl in the school will envy me. But I didn’t care. This is how things were supposed to be.

I can’t interfere with fate now, can I?



“Did the Sorting Hat saying anything to you about fate in our first year?” I asked a bit nervously.

“Yes,” Sirius replied pushing me away to look at me, “It told me that I am destined to be with someone, though I will feel so much pain to love her. I thought nothing of it at the time.”

“I cause you pain?” I asked.

“Well, screaming to the entire school that I’m a git, going out with two morons who just wants to get in your pants, hating me for the past five years, and just knowing that I couldn’t have you hurt pretty bad,” Sirius laughed.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re here now,” Sirius kissed me softly and my heart sped up automatically, “Did the Sorting Hat say anything to you? About fate, I mean.”

“It put me in Gryffindor when it decided it can’t interfere with fate,” I explained, “I didn’t really worry about it either. Not until we kissed over the summer. Then I started to think about it.”

“I’ve been hoping you were who I was destined to be with since the Sorting Hat told me,” Sirius smiled showing off that dimple.

“I can honestly say that I love your smile without having to worry about you getting the wrong impression,” I said.

“And I can say I really meant it when I said I have a thing for curly hair. Because I do, thanks to you.” Sirius kissed me softly once more when my stomach rumbled. I blushed and Sirius, stood, pulling me up with him, “I need food, too.”

“You always need food,” I said, grinning.

Sirius wrapped his arm around my waist as we left the room. He pulled open the door where James, Remus, and Peter fell over one another from the lack of wall. I rolled my eyes knowing they had heard almost everything. I looked at Sirius with an amused expression and he smirked.

“And you call me the git,” he muttered as we crawled over the sheepish looking boys. I gave James a wink and he grinned.

“Where are you going?” he asked, standing.

“We’re hungry,” I said simply.

“Oh, wait up, will you? I’ll get Lily!” James was more excited then a little kid with a brand new toy. He practically skipped on his way down the stairs in search for Lily.

Sirius and I made our way down the stairs together, savoring our last moments of peace before dinner. Lily was sitting in front of the fire when we entered the common room. She had a book out, as usual, but was staring up at James as he bounced about. She glanced at me and smiled. I grinned back and she stood.

“Okay, let’s go eat. I have the worst craving for lettuce!” James said eagerly.

“You had lettuce for lunch,” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“So? I need more!” James laughed.

“Ever since last December,” I muttered. Sirius looked at me.

“Last December what?” he asked.

“James has been obsessed with lettuce and broccoli and other such foods,” I shrugged.

“Gasp!” James suddenly stopped in the middle of the hall.

“What?” Lily asked, looking at James oddly. He looked at Sirius.

“Tomorrow is a full moon!” he said.

“Yeah, so?” Sirius shrugged.

“I just remember, is all,” James smiled and began bouncing down the hall again.

“Oi, James, calm down!” I shouted after him and then looked at Sirius, “I’ve never seen him like this before. Have you?”

“Yeah. Last year after succeeding in some very powerful magic. Actually, it was a bit weirder then this,” Sirius laughed to himself at the memory he wasn’t completely sharing with me. Lily fell in step beside us as James danced down the hall like a ballerina.

We all watched him in horror.


“This makes no sense!” I groaned banging my head on the table Sunday night. The school was in complete shock to see Sirius and I walk into the Great Hall, hand in hand and then flirt with one another all through dinner. Rumors were spread and we were the latest gossip, but I honestly didn’t care.

“We need help!” Lily agreed scribbling out another sentence in her transfiguration essay. It was on Animagus Transformation Errors. We had to list the possible outcomes and the way to reverse them. Lily even needed help and she was on the top of our year!

“You know, Sirius and James are good at Transfiguration,” Kirsten, who was still a bit angry at me, said. I sighed.

The three Marauders, excluding Remus who went to visit his mother again(does he go every month?), went to bed early. It had only been a quarter past ten then and I knew Sirius and James weren’t tired at all. They were wide awake and excited and happy about something. But I didn’t argue with them figuring they had been planning a prank or something. However, I saw no sign of them leaving and I was good at knowing where James was under his cloak. It was now well past one in the morning.

“Should we wake them?” Lily asked looking hopeful.

“I’m not waking James. He is not a happy camper when you wake him,” I said shaking me head, “I’ll try to wake Sirius though. I never woke him up before and I’ll doubt he’ll mind helping.”

“Go on then. And wake James anyways,” Lily said, “Tell him I need him.”

I nodded and stood. Then I went up to the boys dormitory and pushed open the door. The room was dark with the light of the full moon the only way to see. I saw three of five beds had their hangings shut all the way. Frank was snoring with his hangings half closed and Remus’s bed was empty. I remembered which bed was Sirius’s and tiptoed over, not wanting to wake Peter or Frank.

I pulled the hangings opened and was ready to jump on Sirius when I saw the bed was empty. Frowning, I searched under the bed and on the other side thinking he had fallen off. But he just wasn’t there. Suddenly curious, I made my way over to James’s bed and pulled the hangings back. He was gone too! Angry, I pulled back Peter’s hangings. Nothing! They had gotten past me!

I went downstairs, not caring about being noisy anymore. Lily and Kirsten looked up hopefully from their essays and frowned when they saw me alone. I plopped on the couch and crossed my arms across my chest.

“They’re not there,” I pouted, “They must have snuck out.”

“All three of them?” Kirsten asked raising an eyebrow, “Without Remus?”

“Can they be doing a prank?” Lily shrugged.

“What else would they be doing?” I snapped, “Never before has James gotten by me. Whether he’s under the cloak or not!”

“Well, it’s getting to late to do this now and I have a headache,” Lily said, “I’m going to bed. Good night.”

“I’m coming, too,” Kirsten said also standing. She then followed Lily up to the girls’ dormitory.

Could they be doing a prank? Or could they be doing something else that they really shouldn’t be doing? I leaned back on the couch telling myself I’ll wait for them to return. They couldn’t be much longer. None of their pranks took more then an hour to set up. I shut my eyes for a minute.

When I opened them the fire in the common room had burned to nothing and the common room was quiet clean which meant the house elves had already been through here. I looked at my watch and saw it was four in the morning. Three hours sleep. I never heard the boys come in. Quickly, I tiptoed up the stairs to see an empty dormitory besides Frank who was still snoring away. Going back downstairs, now worried, I went to the window and looked out at the moonlit grounds.

What I saw made myself rub my eyes and gasp. It was that dog that I had followed Ben and me in Hogsmeade. He was running around, back and forth. I couldn’t see what he was running at until a deer, a stag, came into view of the window. It too seemed to be trying to get something’s attention. There was a howl that didn’t come from the dog and was close. I pushed open the window. The cold air nipped my cheeks as I stuck my head out to get a better view of the scene that just so happened to be in front of the window.

I almost scream seeing a full grown werewolf stalking towards the oddly paired animals. The dog ran towards it and playfully tackled it. The were wolf chased it and the stag joined in. I was amazed that animals would dare approach something that could easily kill them. But a werewolf. Who was it? Why in the world would Dumbledore allow a werewolf onto the grounds? Fear started to seep through my veins. Was it a student? Dumbledore wouldn’t put the whole school at risk for one student would he?

The second the thought crossed my mind I felt guilty. Werewolves were normal humans except for one time a month when the full moon came. I watched the werewolf play with the animals. The dog and stag seemed incredibly smart for animals, actually. When the wolf tried to run off they distracted it and started a new game. I tilted my head to the side as the wolf howled loudly at the moon.


The name hit me quite suddenly and I had no idea why it had just come to me looking at the wolf. Frowning, I looked at the stag. It’s antlers were prong like. Prongs. Oh. My. God. Prongs. Moony. Padfoot.

My mind was working fast as I pieced the names with the animals. Padfoot, like the padded feet of a dog. Prongs, like the antlers. Moony, because the moon was the reason for the transformation of the werewolf. I knew the werewolf was Remus now. The sickish looks, the monthly disappearances. I vaguely remember James say something about Remus’s furry little problem when he didn’t think anyone was listening. But Wormtail. What did that mean? There was only three figures down there, so where was Peter?

The stag and dog chased the werewolf into the forest and I shut the window. For James and Sirius to be animals that would me they were Animagus. It would explain James’s sudden obsession for green food and Sirius’s likeliness of a dog. That meant that they had been running outside with a werewolf since last December. Could this be the powerful magic Sirius had mentioned before. The magic that made James so happy? I would think watching a stag do ballet would be a bit weirder then watching a sixteen year old boy do it.

Sighing and trying to relax from the shock, worry, and fear of what I had discovered, I laid down on the couch. The common room was quite cold now from the window being open, but I shut my eyes and fell into a restless sleep. I don’t know how long I was asleep, but I awoke to two voices entering the common room. The sun was rising now and I could see the outline of James’s tall skinny figure, Sirius’s tall broad figure , and Peter’s short pudgy figure.

James was helping Sirius shuffle into the room. He was groaning and I immediately stood up making the three boys freeze.

A/N: Did you guys get that giggly, fluffy feeling??

Sorry about the little something from the last chapter. I don't know what happened to it, and I know I posted it up. I'm going to put a bit up, and i'm sorry if i doesn't stay there.

Chp 14. Untitled (that is a song. a very good song by Finch. It doesn't go with the chapter, i don't think, i just had nothing else to name the chapter.):

“You know I think you’re the most gorgeous thing in the Universe, right? And you don’t have to be blond or big chested for me to want to look at you.” he said.

“I do know that, Sirius,” I nodded. Sirius looked relieved.

“And I don’t want to shag you,” Sirius said. Then he frowned, “Well, I do, but not until you’re ready. I’m not going to force you to do anything.”

“I know, Sirius. I never listen to anything the Slytherins say,” I promised.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered.

“I love you, too,” I smiled. Sirius kissed me and then we went back to our capartment.

There's a bit of French in the next chapter. Now, even though i've been taking classes since forever, i have no idea what the first thing about french is, so if someone can possibly help me out, please tell me so and leave your email or something so i can send you what Sirius, and his mother, say. Thanks.

Don't forget to review. It makes me want to update everyday, which is why i have been. You all are you wondferful!!

love you!!

Chapter 14: Untitled
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything you know it JKR. Lyrics(which have nothing to do with the chapter) by Finch.

Chapter Fourteen

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

It's sharpening beneath me
Beneath my feet
The earth opens up
To swallow me
Take my hand and lead me on
Take my hand and lead me on
It's sharpening beneath me
Beneath my feet
It's sharpening beneath me
Beneath my feet

--Finch "Untitled"

James, Sirius, and Peter stared at me. Sirius looked pained and when he squinted through the dim light and saw it was me, he groaned again. James had one of Sirius’s arms around his neck and was helping him stand. Peter was looking back and forth between me and his two best friends.

“Well, don’t just stand there!” I said going to Sirius’s side and putting his other arm around my neck. I could see the dark color of blood through Sirius’s grey T-shirt. I helped him get to the couch where he laid down. Peter ran up to the boys’ dormitory and came down with some supplies to clean the wound.

“What happened?” I asked, though I felt I already knew.

“Uh,” Sirius said, looking more pained.

“I saw you guys,” I explained, “Through the window. I pieced it together. I know Remus is a werewolf and I know you guys are illegal Animagi.”

“Told you we should have stayed in the forest,” Sirius snapped at James as he took the bandages and potions from Peter. Sirius pulled off his shirt to reveal three very ugly looking, clawlike scratches.

“What happened?” I repeated.

“In the forest, about an hour ago,” Sirius began wincing as James began to clean the wound. I had a feeling they did this often, “I tackled Remus to distract him. I think Hagrid was walking, it smelled like him, at least. Remus wanted to get to Hagrid and when he tried to get me off, he scratched me. Don’t worry though, James has had much worse. This is nothing.” he added hastily.

“But werewolf injuries don’t heal!” I gasped.

“It’s not to deep,” James said putting another type of potion on the scratch, “And he received it as a dog. It’ll just leave a scar.”

“You guys are crazy! I know you’re just trying to help Remus, but he can really hurt one of you. What if he bites you!?” I asked in a worried voice.

“The disease is only contagious to humans, Libby,” James assured me, “That’s why a werewolf is like man-wolf, wolf-man. Didn’t you listen in third year? If Remus bites us, animals can’t transform.”

“He’s never bitten any of us,” Sirius said at the look of horror on my face.

“Yeah, it’s like he knows not to,” Peter shrugged.

“What are you, Peter? I didn’t see you out there,” I said.

“You wouldn’t have. I’m a rat. To small to see from the tower,” he explained to me. I nodded. A rats tail is like a worm. Wormtail. Clever.

“I still don’t like knowing you sneak out of bed once a month and run around with a werewolf. What Lily would say if she finds out,” I said, smiling at the thought of my friend’s reaction. It would be a lot worse then mine.

“So, how’d you see us, love?” Sirius asked as James bandaged his scratched.

“Well, I wanted to wake you and James for help on my transfiguration essay. But none of you were there so Lily and Kirsten went to bed and I decided to stay awake. I figured you three just went to pull a prank or something. I dozed off and when I woke up to find you guys were still not in your beds, I went to the window, just to think. I was worried by now. That’s when I saw Sirius and then I saw James and I stuck my head out and saw Remus and I just put it together.” I explained. Sirius pulled his shirt back on (after he magically cleaned it) and pulled me into a hug. He smelled of the outdoors and his regular smell that always made me dizzy. I wondered once more how I managed to make this boy fall in love with me.

“Well, I’m going to shower and go to bed,” James said yawning, “Tell me what I miss in Potions and Transfiguration, okay?”

“Sure,” I muttered. Once he and Peter disappeared I looked at Sirius, “Are you going to class today?” I wasn’t sure I could be apart from him all morning after not seeing him all night.

“I dunno, I’m getting detention from Mcgonagall whether I ditch or fall asleep. Slughorn might be a bit different, but I don’t think that I’m going to get a chance to sleep in that class anyways,” Sirius muttered before kissing me softly. My skin tingled. I was beginning to love that tingling feeling.

“Then stay here and sleep,” I said, reluctantly. Sirius smiled.

“I would rather be with you,” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. I smiled.

“Yeah, but I would rather you sleep. I’m going to class,” I said. A beam of sunlight was entering the room now, sending an orange glow across Sirius’s face.

“Alright, then,” he said pretending to pout.

“You want me to ditch with you?” I asked.

“Well, yeah. You haven’t finished you’re homework, anyways, have you?” Sirius asked, smirking.

“Well, no, but I’m sure I can throw something together before class,” I shrugged. Sirius laughed and pulled me closer to him.

“Come on, it’s okay to ditch class ever once in a while,” he said.

“I don’t know.” I muttered.

“But all you’re going to do is sleep. You won’t even know I’m gone,” I said pushing Sirius’s black hair out of his eyes for him.

“Yes I will,” Sirius pouted. I sighed and knew I was about to cave. Sirius, also seeing this, put on a puppy dog face. I was amazed how good he was at that even if he were a dog.

“Okay, fine!” I said throwing my hands up in defeat. Sirius grinned and pulled me out of the common room. For a moment I wondered where we were going, but when he led me to the seventh floor, I remembered a room I had only been to once before. The Room of Requirement.

Sirius pulled me inside. The room was set up very nice. There was a fire going and the room was already warm. It was nice after the cold common room. There was a king sized bed in fluffy red sheets. A window was on the far wall allowing the early sun light to stream into the room. The floors were covered in carpet and the walls were bare.

With a grin, Sirius kicked off his shoes and ran to the bed bouncing on it. He laid down and didn’t even bother getting under the covers. He was asleep in seconds. Literally. I smiled at his sleeping form before kicking off my own shoes I had thrown on. Then I crawled next to Sirius and laid my head on his chest. I remember inhaling his sweet smell before falling into a dreamless sleep as well.


I awoke a few hours later. Somehow I had gotten under the covers right and was wrapped warmly in them. The bed was really soft and I sighed, not ready to wake up. I rolled over and was quite startled to see Sirius sleeping soundly right next to me. Then I remembered everything that happened this morning. I sat up and looked around the room for a clock. One appeared on the far wall reading eleven thirty. I had missed both Potions and Transfiguration.

Realizing that I should really get up now, I went to climb out of the bed but stopped when a hand seized my arm gently. I turned to look at Sirius. He was grinning, looking up at me with tired eyes.

“I told you I’d know if you were gone,” he said. I laid back down next to him.

“It’s almost noon. If we’re going to get back to the common room before anyone sees we’re missing, we should go before people are going to lunch,” I muttered.

“I don’t want to leave,” Sirius sighed.

“Why not?” I asked.

“People will take you from me,” he said looking at me in a way that made my heart beat faster.

“What do you mean?”

“Lily and Kirsten will start talking to you. Teachers would make you sit on the other side of the room. That kind of stuff,” Sirius explained.

I knew what Sirius was talking about. Being away from him for to long, I find myself longing for his touch and hurrying to make time go faster before I get to see him once more. It was hard to explain. Obviously, I was way to in love with Sirius for my own good and I knew he was way to in love with me for his own good. It was ridiculous to feel like this after only two days, I know, but I think I’ve loved Sirius longer then I had been ready to admit.

“I still think we should go, Sirius,” I said and kissed him. He immediately responded by deepening the kiss. I smiled to myself at how jealous the Orrin twins would be of me right now. Kissing the Sirius Black in the Room of Requirement on a bed.

“Fine then,” Sirius said when we pulled away. He sat up and climbed off the bed. He put his shoes back on and looked at the clock before saying, “It’s eleven forty-six. The bell doesn’t ring until eleven-fifty for lunch so we have four minutes to get back to the common room.”

“Okay then, let’s get going,” I said. I opened the door and peeked out just in case. Once the door had melted back into the wall Sirius and I hurried down the corridor to the common room. Sirius said the password quickly and we hurried through the round hole.

“I’m going to go shower. I’ll be back though,” Sirius grinned and then went up to the boys dormitories taking two steps at a time. I went up to my own dormitory and also got in the shower. I changed out of my pajama pants and t-shirt and into my school robes considering how I was going to my later classes.

Once I was dressed and about to leave the room, Samantha and Susan appeared in the doorway. They smirked at me.

“Where have you been, Cullen?” Susan asked.

“Why do you care?” I snapped and pushed past them. Their high shrill laughter taunted me until I entered the common room just as Sirius did with James and Peter.

“Hello, love,” Sirius said kissing me softly, “Let’s go to lunch, I’m starving,”


The next day I talked to Remus about his “furry little problem”. James had asked me to call it that while in public so no one we don’t want to know figures it out. Remus was actually ready to believe that I was going to stop talking to him when he found out I knew. I felt pathetic because I really had thought that Dumbledore was mad to let a werewolf in the school for a minute.

Soon, November was gone and the first weeks of December went by. Snow was covering the grounds by now and as Christmas approached the Marauders roamed the corridors singing off-tune Christmas carols and wearing Father Christmas hats. Sirius tried to get me joined in, but I refused. However, I had to laugh at the four boys whenever I walked next to them in the corridors.

By the time I was packing for Christmas holiday, the entire school knew that Sirius and I were serious about each other. Ben was angry when he first found out and a lot of the girls were disappointed because now only Remus and Peter were the last two available Marauders(a lot of girls have had their eye on Remus anyways. It’s Peter that most girl flinch from). Sirius and I were together almost all the time. In the corridors we were walking hand in hand, in classes we were seated right next to each other and always partners unless said otherwise, at meals we were flirtatious but not mushy, and in the common room you would most likely find us sitting in the comfortable arm chair in front of the fire doing homework or just talking. You would rarely catch us snogging in public which is why for the first week everyone was saying that Sirius and I would break up. But we didn’t find it necessary to snog in front of everyone.

I had never been happier at Hogwarts. Yes, the Orrin twins were horrible. They spread quite a few rumors about Sirius and I, but they passed by sooner or later. Kirsten was speaking to me again. She realized she has to get over her crush on Sirius. Then she threw a billion question at me about my relationship with him.

The worst thing about going out with Sirius had nothing to do with Sirius or me. It was Ben. He would throw me these sad glances in the corridors, classes, and meals. He tried to get me back a week after Sirius and I started going out. Of course, he walked away with a black eye because poor Ben was stupid enough to tell me he loves me right in front of Sirius. I tried to tell Ben that I was done with him, but I don’t think Ben is going to give up any time soon.

Teachers seemed extremely happy that Sirius and I were together and in love. It was odd how they reacted towards us. Mcgonagall would never yell at us when we were caught passing notes in class or got distracted from what we were supposed to be doing. She would give us the easiest detentions that only took about an hour of our time. Flitwick would always partner Sirius and me up together with this excitement. I realized that there must be something more to my relationship with Sirius then I think. Is there more to this whole Fate thing?

On the train home, I was worried. I hadn’t told my aunt and uncle about Sirius and me. My aunt loved Sirius, but she didn’t trust him. I’ve complained to her about him teasing me and how all the girls love him and how he’s snogged most of them. She, of course, told my uncle. He wasn’t so disapproving of Sirius. He liked Sirius actually. Always said he was a funny guy and probably teased me because he liked me. He was right, obviously. He would be over joyed to know we were going out. So, really, I wasn’t keen on telling them. But I had to because if I didn’t, Jacob would. He obviously knew what was going on between Sirius and me, even if I had barely spoken to him in the past few months.

“You’re quiet,” Sirius said after a very noisy game of Exploding Snap with James and Remus.

“Just thinking,” I shrugged.

“About?” Sirius urged.

“I’ll tell you later,” I promised.

Sirius grinned and kissed me before turning towards James and Remus again. Lily rolled her eyes as they pulled out a chess set. The boys had been quite excited since we boarded the train. They kept pulling out all these games and pranks from Zonko’s. I pressed my forehead to the cool glass of the train. The snowy lands were speeding by quickly. We should be at the Platform soon.

After watching three very amusing chess games with the Marauders, I stood and left the capartment to use the restrooms. Jealous glares followed me as I passed capartments. I ignored them all.

Once in the bathroom I went about my business, relieving myself and was washing my hands when the door opened. I peeked in the mirror to see who had entered. I squealed and spun around.

“Regulus, this is a girl’s bathroom!” I gasped. Regulus locked the bathroom door behind him and then turned to look at me.

“I know. But I need to talk to you and no where else on this train is safe,” Regulus told me looking under all the cubical doors to make sure we were alone. Once he was satisfied, he looked at me.

“If it’s about Sirius—” I began. Regulus put a hand up to stop me.

“You aren’t just some floozy that Sirius usually picks,” he said, lowering his voice, “Sirius likes you. No, he loves you. It’s obvious. Look, Libby, when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, my parents said he betrayed all our kind. I have this really bad feeling that Sirius might be on the Dark Lord’s hit list. To weaken Sirius he’ll probably try to get those closet to him. Like Potter and Lupin. But most of all you.”

“Why me? What am I but the girlfriend?” I asked.

“You’re not just Sirius’s girlfriend! You know that! You two are more in love then you should be. The Dark Lord will aim for you to weaken Sirius’s heart. What hurts more then losing the one you love?” Regulus explained. I bit my lip.

“How do you know that Voldemort”—Regulus winced horribly—“will aim for me?” I asked, just out of curiosity.

“I hear things,” Regulus shrugged, “You know my family. Darker then probably the Dark Lord himself.”

“And why are you telling me?” I went on.

“I don’t know. I’m just warning you to be careful. Both you and Sirius are powerful and the Wizarding World needs you. In a few years you might have been some help the world see Light again,” Regulus smiled and went to the door. He unlocked it and then hesitated, looking at me, “Can you make sure the coast is clear?”

“Sure,” I laughed and poked my head out. Then I stepped out myself and motioned for Regulus to do the same, “And thanks, Regulus. You’re not bad for a Slytherin.”

“You aren’t bad either, Libby. For a Gryffindor, that is,” Regulus grinned and then hurried away. I smiled and then headed towards my capartment. Talking about Sirius so much made me long for him.

Unfortunately for me, I ran into Lucius Malfoy. He was leaning causally in front of a capartment with a smirk on his face. The position was one that Sirius was in often. The position that took my breath away, but it didn’t have the same effect as Sirius did when Lucius did in. In truth, Malfoy looked like he was up to something.

“Miss Cullen,” Malfoy said in a dangerous voice. He hasn’t forgiven more for that punch that landed him with a broken nose in the hospital wing. Or that Sirius went after him and hexed him so bad he was back in the hospital wing, “Haven’t had a chance to chat with you in a while. You’ve been to busy with Black, haven’t you? I wonder what it is about you that he finds so interesting.”

“Shove off, Malfoy,” I snap. My body was tingling for Sirius and I didn’t want to waste time with Malfoy.

“Hm, is it that he likes to snog you to much?” Malfoy drawled on, “Or has he not yet gotten his chance to shag you?”

“I said, shove off!” I tried to walk past him, but he caught my arm.

“Let go of her,” that familiar voice that I love said. I looked up to see Sirius and James. Both their wands were out and their faces angry. Malfoy pulled out his own wand and pulled me towards him, his wand at my throat.

“Black! Cullen and I were just talking about you!” Malfoy smirked. His wand was digging into me. It was painful and I struggled against it.

“Does it look like I care? Now let her go,” Sirius demanded.

“We were wondering what it is you see in Cullen. I mean, she isn’t blond, big chested, or really all that pretty,” Malfoy smirked knowing that as long as I was standing in front of him, Sirius and James wouldn’t dare hex him.

“Looks aren’t everything,” Sirius said. That was a bit hurtful, but I caught Sirius’s apologetic glance and relaxed.

“Oh, so it isn’t just a physical attraction. Maybe you just like snogging her then?” Malfoy suggested, “Or is it, just as I had just said to Cullen, that you just haven’t gotten a chance to shag her yet.”

Sirius’s face flushed with anger. I couldn’t take any more of Malfoy’s taunting. Nor could I take his wand digging further into my throat. With all the strength I could muster, I shoved my elbow into Malfoy’s stomach. His eye bulged with pain as I realized once more I was stronger then I thought. At this, I stomped hard on Malfoy’s foot, spun around and dug my knee right where it hurts. He fell to the ground and I backed up towards Sirius who hugged me tightly. James hung the pained Malfoy upside down and turned around towards our capartment, leaving us alone and looking highly amused.

Sirius and I got out of earshot of Malfoy before Sirius kissed me softly. He looked into my eyes and grinned. Pulling me into a tight hug he said, “You are amazing! Not many could beat up that git twice!”

“I did what I had to,” I said, smiling up at Sirius. His face got serious.

“You know I think you’re the most gorgeous thing in the Universe, right? And you don’t have to be blond or big chested for me to want to look at you.” he said.

“I do know that, Sirius,” I nodded. Sirius looked relieved.

“And I don’t want to shag you,” Sirius said. Then he frowned, “Well, I do, but not until you’re ready. I’m not going to force you to do anything.”

“I know, Sirius. I never listen to anything the Slytherins say,” I promised.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered.

“I love you, too,” I smiled. Sirius kissed me and then we went back to our capartment.


I was glad to get off the train. I was stiff from sitting on the train for so long and tired from having to get up early to make sure I had everything. However, getting off the train meant that I wasn’t going to see Lily, Kirsten, Remus, and Peter until after holidays. James made this big show out of saying good bye to her once we got on Kings Cross. He hugged her and kissed her and then went to meet her parents. He also met her sister and came back frowning.

“I didn’t like that Petunia,” he said, “She called me an ugly freak that isn’t at all special.”

“Hm, you’re lucky” I frowned, “Usually she’s worse.”

Once we waved good bye to Remus, Kirsten, and Peter, James and I searched for our own guardians. Sirius was looking too, but I kept seeing his eyes dart over to where Regulus had met up with his own mother. I finally spotted my Uncle and led the way towards him.

“Hey!” Uncle Scott said grinning and hugging me tightly.

“Hi,” I greeted.

“Where’s my parents?” James asked searching for them.

“They had an emergency at work,” Uncle Scott explained, “So you are going to hang out at our house for a while. Which you probably would anyways.”

“What type of emergency?” James eye’s widened with excitement. He wanted to be an Auror just like his parents. Along with Sirius. Personally, I thought being an Auror wasn’t all that great. If you weren’t catching a Dark wizard, the whole Wizarding World thought you were doing nothing. The pressure is on you for catching this Voldemort and his Death Eaters when, so far, anyone who even approaches them ends up dead.

“I’m not sure, they just left,” Uncle Scott said, as Jacob joined us, “Hey, there’s Jake. Ready? Okay, let’s head home.”

We started towards the Ministry cars, dragging our trunks behind us. A very large group of Muggles crossed in front of us, causing us all to stop. A harsh voice from behind us snapped very loudly, “Muggles! Rude as they are filthy.” Sirius stiffened and I was about to look over my shoulder, but Sirius stopped me. Uncle Scott, however, turned around with raised eyebrows.

“Taking dirty blood home with you, are you, Gallant?” the cruel voice asked my Uncle(Gallant was his last name. My aunt was my mother’s sister).

“I see no dirty blood here, Mrs. Black,” Uncle Scott said politely. Both Sirius and I turned now. Sirius had a look of loathing on his face. Behind his mother who, besides her dark hair, looked nothing like her son, stood Regulus. He had worry in his eyes but a bored expression on nonetheless. Bellatrix and Narcissa Black stood behind him, smirking.

“Well, you are a blood-traitor yourself, are you not?” Mrs. Black asked darkly, “With two half-bloods and supporting that fool we call a head master. You give all pure-bloods a bad name, Gallant.”

“That is you’re opinion,” Uncle Scott shrugged, “What you wish to think is you’re business. Now, if you excuse us, we need to be heading home, thank you. Come on, kids.”

“Once a Black, always a Black,” Narcissa sneered at Sirius, “Toujours Pur.”

Toujours pur! Le mal toujours pur!” Sirius scoffed, turning around, the Blacks gasped angrily. James muttered a warning at him, but Sirius ignore and starting yelling in French, so i didn’t understand a word, “Vous avez froid au coeur les personnes dégoûtant!

Ne parlez pas a moi comme ca!” his mother snapped.

“Mother, just leave him. He’s a traitor,” Regulus said, trying to distract both his brother and mother, “Why bother with—”


Mrs. Black raised a hand swiftly and slapped her youngest son across the face. For a moment, I was ready to run to Regulus and see if he was alright. Sirius must have known what was going through my head, for he raised an arm, pushing me behind him and blocking me from getting around. Regulus, on the other hand, looked at his mother but showed no sign of pain or hurt. Some Muggles threw a glance at the scene, but then looked away.

“Come on, let’s go,” My uncle said and we all went to the Ministry car. Sirius was still angry, but I was desperate to know.

“What did you say to her?” I asked cautiously. Sirius looked up at me.

“I told her they were cold at heart and sick people,” Sirius explained, “I insulted the Black motto, too. ‘Always Pure’ I said ‘Always Pure Evil’ a big insult to them even if it is just words.”

“I didn’t know you knew French,” Uncle Scott said, looking at Sirius in the rearview mirror.

“French and Latin,” Sirius said a bit sheepishly, “Those people I called parents made Regulus and me learn both languages before school started. It comes out when I get mad at them.”

“You shouldn’t have lost your temper just then,” James said. Sirius looked away from his friend.

“I know.”

The car was silent for a moment. Sirius was intertwining my fingers with his over and over. I noticed Jacob looking at our hands. He looked at Uncle Scott and opened his mouth, then shut it as if wondering what good telling Scott about Sirius and me would do. He caught my eye and smirked.

“Poor Regulus,” I said before Jacob could get a word out, “I mean, stuck with people like that.”

“They aren’t people,” Sirius said coldly.

“Let’s talk about a nicer subject,” Uncle Scott grinned, “How was term?”

“Cool,” Jacob grinned.

“Different,” James shrugged.

“Yeah,” Sirius said with a teasing glance at me.

“Definitely different,” I agreed. Scott looked into the rearview mirror again. I had a feeling he wasn’t really driving the car for how he wasn’t really paying attention to the road.

“Why different?” Uncle Scott asked, but he was grinning and I knew then that he knew about Sirius and me. Was it that obvious?

“Well, I went out with my long time crush just to find out that I didn’t like him all that much,” I shrugged with a smile.

“And Sirius went into depressed mode through those weeks and then Libby called him a git in front of the school and they had this big giant fight,” James added.

“And it took me till November to realized that I should be with Sirius but I didn’t want to break Ben’s heart—”

“Which you did anyways,” Sirius pointed out.

“Yes, thank you, Sirius. Anyways, the point to the whole story is Sirius and me are dating and we’re all happy now. It was different from any other term.” I finished glaring at Sirius. A smirk crossed his face. That dimple facing me. I sighed. Stupid dimple still got to me. But now, I could really appreciate Sirius’s smile and stare at it without feeling funny.

“Yeah, I knew something was changed,” Uncle Scott laughed, “About time you two got together, too! How’s things with you and Lily, James?”

“Perfect!” James said happily and proudly, “I’m gonna miss her. Especially now that I know what her sister is like!”

“Aw, well, write her everyday then,” Uncle Scott joked.

“I always do,” James said seriously. Sirius sniggered and I rolled my eyes.

“What about you, Jake? Anything interesting happen?” Uncle Scott grinned at my brother.

“Yeah,” Jake blushed, “I asked the girl I like out.”

“Aw, that’s so cute,” I said smiling.

“I didn’t make fun of you!” Jake said, grinning evilly, “It’s not like I snog her like you and Sirius!”

“Well, I’m older then you,” I said defensively while Sirius doubled over in laughter with James next to me.

Not time for my long author note i leave for you at the end of each chapter:
You guys are making me cocky. And greedy. Please, keep the review coming. That box below is becoming my best friend.

I still love you all and you all will hate me in a few chapter because of what i do to this story(it's all happy and pink now, later it'll be sad and. . .uh, not really black, but a dark color, later). And if you don't hate me you will be sort of depressed after reading my updates. I was after I reread them earlier today. And when i was writing them. But whatever. I'm supposed to be 92% depressed or something anyways(i was told to look for help. writing is my help).

Enough of my pointless ramblings none of you really care about! Here's a little something from chapter, uh, fifteen: She's In Love With the Boy (yeah, i have a title this time)

“I need to sleep,” I shouted, “I didn’t go to bed till two in the morning!”

“We didn’t sleep at all!” James said proudly. For a moment, I thought they were joking, but the proud smirks on their faces told me otherwise.


“To see who can stay awake the longest, of course!” Sirius said as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet, “I won!”

“Did not, I never fell asleep,” James argued.

“You dozed off for three minutes and nineteen seconds,” Sirius countered, “That means you were sleeping lightly. Which means I won!”

“Okay!” I said before James could argue, “Let me go back to sleep!”

“No!” Sirius whined, “I need to be near you!”

Um, yeah. So anyways, i'll update tomorrow!! Promise. Love you all because you are so great!! mwah! mwah!

Don't forget to review!! i love them. hehe.

Chapter 15: She's In Love With the Boy
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything is JKR's, lyrics are Trisha Yearwood's.

Chapter Fifteen
She’s in Love With the Boy

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Her daddy says, "he ain't worth a lick

When it came to brains, he got the short end of the stick"
But Katie's young and man she just don't care
She'd follow Tommy anywhere
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
She's in love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She's gonna marry that boy someday

--Trisha Yearwood "She's In Love With the Boy"

You could tell Aunt Becky was shocked to see me with Sirius. As soon as my uncle had pulled to a stop in the driveway and we were all out of the car, we only got half way across the lawn before James threw a snowball at Sirius, who of course threw one back. I ducked out of the way, dropping my trunk next to Sirius’s and James’s. Sirius, seeing me trying to get away, he chased after me with James. Aunt Becky had come out to greet us and was watching me struggle with an amused expression. Sirius caught me and held me down while James dumped snow on my head. I laughed and tried to get the snow out of my eyes. Sirius helped me and there must have been a look in our eyes as we looked at one another, because Uncle Scott walked past us with our trunks levitated in front of him, and laughed, “Come on you lovebirds, inside,”

Aunt Becky didn’t approve, just as I had thought. However, I knew she wouldn’t dare say anything in front of Sirius. Later, when Sirius and I are parted for the night, she will come up to my room and talk with me. Just as she did when I had come home in fifth year. I had told her about the Roger Hill incident and ever since she has thought I was a fragile little girl who couldn’t take anything from any other guy.

But she let us go upstairs. James was in the bathroom. My door was left open because I would be dead if I closed it when in the room with my boyfriend. Sirius and I laying flat on our backs on my floor. It was bit cold from not being used in a while, but I was comfortable laying with Sirius anyways.

James came in and frowned down at us before flopping onto my bed muttering, “I wish Lily was here.”

“Aw, don’t be like that Prongs,” Sirius laughed sitting up and grinning at me, “You’ll see Lily soon.”

“Huh?” I asked raising an eyebrow, also sitting up.

“Oh yeah, I forgot!” Sirius gasped, “James is having a party on New Years! Quite a few people are invited, but it’ll still be wicked!”

“What did your parents say about this James?” I asked, smirking.

“Nothing. I haven’t told them I’m having a party yet,” James shrugged like it was no big deal, “They won’t mind. They always say I should have a party of my own when they go off to the Ministry Ball. This year, I choose to have a party.”

“And I suppose you already have the firewhisky being shipped to your house?” I asked. James rolled his eyes.

“Libby, do you seriously think I would be able to get away with fire whisky? My mum never misses a beat with me. Which is horrible. You know what I’m talking about. She’ll never leave me alone in the house again if I allowed fire whisky at a party filled with hormonal crazed teenagers!” James propped himself on his elbow to look at me.

“So it’s just butterbeer?” I asked. Sirius and James smirked, throwing one another knowing glances.

“Yeah,” James said, flopping back down on his back. I snorted knowing that there was probably going to be a lot of stuff stronger then fire whisky at this party. My aunt and uncle will never let me go.

The Potters returned only a few hours after we had gotten home. Sirius and James went back to the Potter house to put their things away and then came back over. But as dinner rolled around, Sirius and James was dragged back to their house and I went down to my own kitchen feeling a sense of loss like I usually did when I knew I wasn’t going to see Sirius for a few hours.

I was sitting across from my brother. My aunt and uncle at the ends of the rectangular table. We passed the pork chops and side dishes around as we piled our plates. Once we all had started eating, my aunt started conversation.

“How was term?” she asked.

“Alright,” Jacob and I chorused.

“Just alright?” Uncle Scott laughed, “What happened to it being ‘different’ Libby?”

“Yeah, what happened to you’re little snogging fests with Ben and Sirius?” Jacob asked with his mouth full of chewed food.

“I did not snog Ben!” I gasped, because I didn’t. Not real snogging anyways.

“Ben Carlson?” Aunt Becky asked, “He asked you out?”

“Yeah,” I blushed.

“But now you’re with Sirius?” she continued. I nodded, “What happened to Ben?”

“I realized I didn’t like him as much as I thought. And I was totally falling for Sirius even though I was in total denial. I mean, Ben is totally great and all, but it just wasn’t fate,” I explained quickly before taking a sip of water.

“Oh, so it’s fate for you and Sirius, then?” Becky asked, she sounded a bit cold.

“We like to think so,” I shrugged.

“I don’t trust him,” Becky said, shaking her head, “He looks at you like he’s going to lose control of himself.”

“Oh, Becky, Sirius isn’t a bad kid,” Uncle Scott chuckled, “He just was looking for something that he found in our niece.”

Aunt Becky let the subject drop, but I knew she wanted to talk to me in privet. I felt angry at her for not trusting Sirius. You would think that just because I was happy, she would be happy, too. Figures there was going to be another bump in the road just so Sirius and I could be together.

Aunt Becky came to talk to me earlier then I had thought she would. I was in my room reading a book on Transfiguration. James lent it to me to help me understand the whole animagus-werewolf thing I was still not really able to grasp. At first, I didn’t see my Aunt standing at the door. I was stretched out on my bed in my warm pajama pants and a comfortable long sleeved t-shirt, the book held up in front of my face. It was really quite interesting. She tapped on the door frame, causing me to jump a little.

“Aunt Becky,” I grinned when I put the book down. I had expected it to be Jacob being annoying.

“Can we talk, Libby?” Aunt Becky asked. I nodded reluctantly. Becky shut my door and sat down on the end of bed. She said quietly, “I’m not going to forbid you from seeing Sirius.”

“Thank merlin,” I muttered under my breath. Becky allowed a small smile to play on her lips.

“I’m not going to lecture you, either. All I want to know is why the change of heart?” Becky asked.

“Really, I don’t know,” I muttered, “It just started over the summer. James dared me to kiss Sirius so I did. I didn’t think it was a big deal....” I told my aunt about term. Everything. Except about the Remus thing, of course. Once I was done, my aunt was smiling again.

“Does he really love you, though?” she asked. I looked at her, surprised.

“Of course. I’ve known him for six years, Aunt Becky, and I know he doesn’t lie about things like this. I mean, yeah, he hid his feelings for six years and was a bit mean to me, but he was always watching out for me, too. And because of that I trust him,” I whispered, “I love him.”

“Love is a strong word, Libby,” my aunt warned, “You are so young to know what it is like to love.”

“Yes, I know, but at least I am loved in return,” I said feeling like I was part of some corny soap opera. And trust me, I’ve seen many soaps.

“Oh, Libby, I don’t want you to get hurt. Love is such a strong thing! It can be beautiful, yet painful. It causes heart ache and—” Aunt Becky said.

“Aunt Becky,” I smiled softly, “I know, but I can’t help it. I physically need Sirius. I go crazy when I’m not near him. Like now. I’m ready to jump out the window and fly to him. And I know he feels the same way.”

“Okay.” Aunt Becky said, “I can’t believe this though. I feel like you were walking through my door for the first time just yesterday. And now, you are sixteen years old and in love. It doesn’t seem possible that the little girl that came to me eight years ago is sitting right in front of me.”

“I know,” I laughed, “I feel like everything went by to fast.”

Aunt Becky wiped a tear from her eye and stood up. She hugged me tightly and kissed me on the forehead. Then she left my room and I flopped onto my back. The conversation didn’t go the way I had thought it would. I was supposed to get a lecture on maturity and responsibility. And it was a much shorter conversation, too. But at least Becky isn’t going to make me stay away from Sirius. She doesn’t approve, that’s obvious, but she’s putting her thoughts behind her.



What the hell was that?

I sat up in my bed, startled. Thump. My head snapped towards my window as snow exploded on it. I stared and watched as two more thumps hit my window. Then, I looked at my clock. Six thirty. Groaning, I pushed my blankets off me and went to my window. I let the snow hit it before I opened it and hung my head out into the brisk air. I rolled my eyes when I saw the source of the snow.

Sirius and James stood below my window. They were bundled in scarves and their cloaks and still looked cold. The greyish light gave them a shadowed glow, but they were smiling up at me, James tossing a snow ball from hand to hand.

“Libby, my love!” Sirius cried, falling to his knees and reaching out to me. His voice echoes across the yard. I winced hoping my Aunt and Uncle weren’t going to wake up. Or Jacob. None of them were morning people and were scary if they got up to early.

“Sirius! What are you doing?” I called back as quietly as I could, “It’s not even seven o’clock yet!”

“I know!” I could see Sirius’s grin from up in my room, “But I needed to see you. James was going to use the door and we were going to sneak into your room, but this seemed like more fun.”

“It is, too,” James laughed and threw the snow ball towards me. I slammed my window shut just in time and waited a second before opening it back up.

“I need to sleep,” I shouted, “I didn’t go to bed till two in the morning!”

“We didn’t sleep at all!” James said proudly. For a moment, I thought they were joking, but the proud smirks on their faces told me otherwise.


“To see who can stay awake the longest, of course!” Sirius said as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet, “I won!”

“Did not, I never fell asleep,” James argued.

“You dozed off for three minutes and nineteen seconds,” Sirius countered, “That means you were sleeping lightly. Which means I won!”

“Okay!” I said before James could argue, “Let me go back to sleep!”

“No!” Sirius whined, “I need to be near you!”

“Please, Libby, he’s worse then I am with Lily!” James called. I sighed, not wanting to wake up any more then I already am. But just knowing Sirius wanted to be near me, made me want to be near him.

“I’ll be right down,” I said and shut my window.

As quick as I could, I got dressed. Then I tiptoed down the stairs past my brother’s room and my Aunt and Uncle’s and then went down the stairs on light feet. In the kitchen, Rosie appeared almost immediately and asked me if I would like anything. I told her in a moment and unlocked the back door before allowing James and Sirius to come in. I was glad my house was so big. There was less of a chance that Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott would wake up.

“It’s freezing out there,” James said, pulling his cloak off. Sirius kissed me deeply before pulling his own off. Rosie appeared once more.

“Can Rosie get you Sirs anything?” she squeaked.

“Coffee and toast, please,” James said.

“Make that two coffees,” Sirius nodded, “And a muffin!” They slid into the bar stools in front of the counter while Rosie began to make the coffee.

“I think both of you should see who can fall to sleep the fastest,” I said sitting down next to Sirius.

“Where’s the fun in that?” James asked, rolling his eyes.

“Well, you won’t need to drink twenty cups of coffee just to function,” I smiled. James shrugged as Rosie returned with Sirius’s muffin and the cups of coffee.

“Can Rosie get Miss something, now?” she asked me politely.

“Bagel and cream cheese please. And hot chocolate,” I said and Rosie was off again making my breakfast.

“Haha, look!” James laughed. I looked at him and snorted. James was allowing the hot coffee fog up his glasses and then looking at us like he was waiting for applause. Sirius barked with laughter and slopped some coffee down his front.

“Here you go, Miss. Anything else?” Rosie asked putting my breakfast in front of me. I looked at the house elf and smile.

“This is all, Rosie. Thank you,” I said. Rosie bowed and went off.

We all continued to eat our breakfasts. James and Sirius didn’t act tired at all. They were cracking jokes and acting like their regular selves. They didn’t even yawn! I was rubbing my watering eyes and yawning every minute. They weren’t normal.


I shivered as the snow seeped into my shoes. My socks were soaked through and my pants were wet up to my knees. I looked up ahead of me where James was walking ahead. Sirius was next to me, but one step ahead. We had been out in the snow for the past two hours. Around noon, we had gone outside and started a snow ball fight. Somehow, we had traveled farther from the house then we would have liked to walk back.

“Can you see the house, James?” I called in a tired voice.

“I can!” James said, sounding more relieved then tired.

“Finally,” Sirius muttered, he took my gloved hand in his own and we quickened our pace to get home.

I saw a car in the driveway at the side of my house. This was odd because my aunt and uncle didn’t own cars. We borrowed them from the Ministry, but otherwise it was strictly Floo powder and Apperation. However, seeing that the car was indeed parked and not a figment of my imagination, I was curious as to who’s car it was. With a sinking heart, I thought of one family. I hoped I was wrong.

My cousin, Bridget, was my other aunt’s daughter. My mum and Aunt Cynthia were never really as close as she and Aunt Becky were. I rarely saw my other aunt, actually. She was to busy living happily in France with her French husband, whom she married for the money, and sending her precious little Bridget to Beauxbatons. I didn’t care for Aunt Cynthia, she was stuck up and rather rude. But I absolutely despised Bridget. She thought herself to be better then me and was one of those girls that hung over every guy. She would get along well with Susan and Samantha Orrin.

The car most likely belonged to them and my Uncle Denis. He preferred to do things the “Muggle-way” so he can interact with his “Muggle-side” in case anything happens. Really it’s because he’s very timid with magic even if he is a pureblood. Actually, his skill with a wand reminds me of Peter. He finds it safer indeed to do things with hard way then cause havoc with his wand.

“Are they here for long?” James asked me as he stared at the car in horror. Bridget was always hitting on James and seemed to think he liked her back. I would hate to see how she would react to Sirius. The thought made me smile to myself.

“I hope not,” I groaned.

“Who is it?” Sirius asked, interested.

I didn’t answer as I pushed open the back door. We took off our cloaks, scarves, and boots, and walked further into the kitchen, glad to be in the warm house again. There was no way to try and avoid my cousin and her family, so I reluctantly led the way into the front room.

Aunt Cynthia was seated in the leather black chair my Uncle usually sat in. She had a cup of tea in her hands, legs crossed as she talked about something that happened while she and Bridget were shopping the other day. Bridget, herself, was sitting on the couch, listening intently. Her hair was streaked with blond, with her roots coming in, and she was dressed in high expensive clothes, just like her mother, and was looking particularly snippy where she sat looking into her tea cup like it was poison. My Uncle Denis was not in the room and neither was Uncle Scott or Jacob.

Bridget spotted me first. She stood with a high pitched squeal and came towards me. I resisted the urge to run for it.

“Libby! Oh, I’ve missed you so much. It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen you!” she said in her fake French accent. She kissed me on both cheeks and I forced a smile and tried to breath through her perfume.

“I’ve missed you, too, Bridget,” I lied. She beamed, though I knew she only missed me because she couldn’t tell me how wonderful she is and how plain I am.

“Oh, Libby,” My aunt Cynthia cooed, “Look how pretty you’ve gotten!”

“Thanks,” I blushed.

“James!” Bridget grinned spotting James. Bridget has always been trying to get James to like her, but he is captivated by Lily and would always push Bridget off and walk away.

“Hi, Bridget,” James said, backing away. But Bridget wasn’t paying attention to James. She was staring, opened mouth at Sirius.

Bridget, as I said before, is one of those girls who hangs over any guy that come their way. Spotting Sirius leaning against the wall, once again, with his hands deep in his pockets, his hair falling into his eyes. He was watching Bridget and her mother greet James and me with an amused expression. That crooked smile was planted on his face, his dimple making it’s special appearance and making him look even better then he usually did. I glanced at Bridget and knew that she would be so jealous when she learned that Sirius Black was mine.

“Who are you?” Bridget asked, batting her eyelashes and smirking in a foolish way, which she thought was sexy.

“This, Bridget,” I said walking towards Sirius, where he stood up straight and wrapped an arm around my waist, “Is my boyfriend, Sirius Black.”

Silence. Bridget was staring between me and Sirius with this shocked, jealous look on her face. Even my Aunt Cynthia looked shocked. It was a bit hurtful to me, if you know what I mean.

“You’re boyfriend?” Bridget choked out.

“Yes,” I said proudly, “Sirius, this is my cousin Bridget and my aunt Cynthia.”

Sirius smiled at them both before we all sat down. Sirius sat in the corner of the couch and I sat next to him, as I have done so many times, leaning into his warm body comfortably. James sat in the other arm chair across from Aunt Cynthia. Bridget and my Aunt Becky sat down on the couch next to me and Sirius. Aunt Cynthia launched back into her story, throwing glances at me and Sirius every so often. Bridget glared at me and Sirius as we listened, intertwining our hands together and quietly flirting.

I knew that I could easily show off just how much Sirius cared for me and a part of me wanted to. I would have something Bridget wants but can’t have. Yet, I couldn’t use Sirius like that and ended up completely forgetting about Bridget as I stared into Sirius’s grey eyes.

Who knew I would end up with Sirius Black?

The hours passed slowly. Sirius fell asleep more then once listening to Bridget and Aunt Cynthia. I would have let him sleep, but when Aunt Becky threw me a glare, I had no choice. It was almost dinner when Aunt Becky and Aunt Cynthia had finally gotten up to look at a new piece of furniture that Becky bought a couple of months ago. Sirius, James, and I escaped to my room quickly.

I didn’t realize that Bridget had followed us, but the second I opened my door, she pushed her way through before anyone else and looked around. The three of us exchanged glances before following her in.

“Libby, you really need to redo your room,” Bridget said, she had lost her fake accent an hour ago when her mother asked if she was getting sick.

“What’s wrong with my room?” I asked, offended. I loved my room.

“I feel like I’ve just entered a three year old’s room,” Bridget snorted, “You should try to make it more mature and modern.”

“I like my room,” I muttered. Bridget went to the window and looked out, shrugging.

“So, Sirius, is it?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder before looking back outside.

“That’s me,” Sirius grinned. I rolled my eyes, but allowed a small smile.

“What are you getting for dating Libby, then?” Bridget went on, turning around now and crossing her arms over her chest. She was smirking and I felt my face go red with anger and embarrassment.

“Getting?” Sirius asked, frowning, “What do you mean?”

“Like someone like you would willingly ask out a girl like Libby,” Bridget scoffed.

“A girl like Libby? You mean someone beautiful and smart and overlooked because she actually wears clothes and doesn’t throw herself at any random guy?” Sirius snapped, his face darkening.

“Geez, Bridget, what type of question was that?” James asked, looking just as angry at Sirius. I smiled to myself, happy that both Sirius and James were ready to stick up for me.

“I thought it was a perfectly innocent question,” Bridget shrugged. Then looked at me and smirked, “I bet Sirius didn’t notice you with those stupid glasses. I mean, who would?”

“You’re making Sirius sound shallow,” I said angrily. Bridget looked at Sirius up and down real quick.

“Well, he must be. I mean, only someone desperate would date you,” Bridget shrugged. Her blue eyes were flashing with annoyance at the glares everyone in the room was throwing her. I was ready to slap her. She didn’t even know Sirius enough to call him shallow.

“Take if from a guy,” Sirius growled, “The only reason you always have a date is because you’re easy.”

Bridget was insulted. I know myself that she’s called many people shallow because they had a better boyfriend or enjoyed themselves more then her on a date or something. She’s gossiped about them to me. It was something else for her to be called shallow herself. Worse to be called easy. She probably thought that boys really thought she was pretty and wonderful.

“Truth hurts, doesn’t it?” James smirked, enjoying seeing Bridget get put down.

Bridget gave a frustrated scream and marched from the room. I knew I was in trouble. She would be running to my Aunts and crying about how I was mean to her. She’ll stretch the truth to make me sound like I started it and really wanted to hurt her. Yet, I didn’t care. As Sirius slipped his arm around me and kissed me gently on the cheek, I smiled, forgetting about getting into trouble.

A/N: Raise your hand if you hate Bridget!! *raises hand and jumps up and down* Yeah. She's just there to be there. Not really an important character.

Anyways, thank you all for the reviews!! They make me want to update so badly that i almost updated the second i checked my reviews hours and hours ago. Almost. Hehe.

You're little something from chp. 16: Amazed (which is a seriously corny chapter, but needed).

“Hang on,” Sirius called over his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes as Sirius accelerated the bike. For a second it bounced as if we ran over something, but then the ride was quite smooth. I opened my eyes and gave a little scream.

“We’re flying!” I shouted over the wind, “You didn’t tell me the bike could fly!”

“You never asked!” Sirius laughed.

I looked below. Muggles could easily see us and hear us. The bike was so loud. I bit my lip, nervously. This was a lot like a broomstick, only more comfortable and loud. It didn’t stray of course as easily either, because it was a lot heavier then a broom. After about five minutes, I loosened my death grip on Sirius’s waist and relaxed a bit. This wasn’t so bad. It was actually kind of nice, except for the biting cold that froze my nose. Sirius seemed to be enjoying himself, too, and that made me happy just knowing that he was happy.

Christmas is next chapter, obviously. And then New Year's. Where everything takes a turn. Yay!! Not really yay, but yeah. Gasp! We're a Chp. 15 which means this story is EXACTLY half way done!!

Please review!! I love them!! No, i love YOU!! And i got a bad review. :( But i won't let it get to me!!

Chapter 16: Amazed
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything belong to JK Rowling. Lyrics by Lonestar.

Chapter Sixteen

Christmas morning I awoke annoying whispers. I couldn’t place them, but was to lazy to get up and see who had decided to wake me. Really, I should have known right away. He’s only been coming into my room every morning to wake me up, give me breakfast in bed, or scare the crap out of me when leaving the bathroom. Sure enough, I had just rolled over onto my side when someone jumped right on top of me.

“It’s Christmas! Time to get up, Libby! Presents!” said that voice that made my heart race. I groaned and tried to move, but Sirius was laying right on top of me, causes me not to be able to move.

“No. Sleep,” I mumbled and went limp.

“Liiibbbbbbbyyyy!” Sirius whined, “Wake up!”

I shook my head and sighed. Sirius began kissing my face then. Muttering for me to wake up between kisses. This caused me to open my eyes. Sirius was grinning as he leaned over me. He kissed me on the forehead. Then he kissed me on the cheeks. And then he planted a kiss on my mouth, where I kissed him back.

“I’m awake,” I said.

“I knew that would work,” Sirius grinned.

“Great. Can you get off me, I need to relieve myself,” I said. Sirius was also beginning to crush my insides. He wasn’t exactly light.

“Aw, but I’m comfortable,” Sirius laughed. I pushed him off with difficulty and climbed out of bed. I yawned as I made my way to the bathroom to wash up and brush my teeth. Sirius sat on my bed patiently waiting for me as I pulled open my closet to choose what to wear.

“Bridget awake already?” I asked conversationally.

My cousin had been trying to get back at me for what Sirius and James said to her the other day. Aunt Becky did nothing to punish me, for I hadn’t really done anything. My Aunt Cynthia was pretty mad though. Whenever she saw Sirius and James, she would be very rude to them or completely ignore them. Bridget, being how she is, started trying to get Sirius’s and James’s attention and getting all upset whenever she fails miserably.

“Yup, practically attacked me when I was coming up the stairs,” Sirius laughed, his voice was muffled, for he had crawled under my covers and pulled the blankets over his head. I rolled my eyes and turned back into my closet.

“Wear that green, long sleeved top you wore two days before we left Hogwarts,” Sirius said, pushing the blankets down, so I could see his head. I looked at him, and tried to focus on what he said instead of how cute he look with his ruffled hair.

“You remember what I wore over a week ago?” I asked, amazed.

“Libby, I remember what you wore on the train in first year,” Sirius rolled his eyes. I suddenly felt bad. I wouldn’t be able to tell you what Sirius was wearing this second and he was right in front of me, under covers of course, but still.

“Wow, I didn’t know you paid that much attention,” I muttered, turning back to my closet, “Why the green top?” I personally hated the top. It had a wide neck line and was very fitted and was the color of forest green.

“Because it makes your eyes look pretty,” Sirius said like it was obvious and I should have known that.

“My eyes are gross,” I said, rolling my eyes, “They’re the color of a swap.”

“Are not!” Sirius gasped, “They change between hazel and green, depending on what you’re wearing and no matter what, they look gorgeous. I love your eyes. Besides your hair, it’s my favorite thing about your looks. You just put yourself down to much.”

“Thanks, Sirius,” I grinned and pulled the shirt from the hanger and grabbing my jeans.

I quickly changed into them in the bathroom and put a green ribbon in my hair, tying it like a headband. When I exited, Sirius was waiting by the door and I made sure I knew what he was wearing. Fitting black jeans and a white button down shirt, untucked, with converses. Not to hard to remember.

I was about to leave the room, when Sirius pulled me back and shut the door with his foot. My heart sped up, but I trusted Sirius and knew he wouldn’t try and do anything to me. So, I looked at him, curious as to why he locked me in my room with him. He was shifting his weight from side to side nervously and looked at me with soft eyes. I smiled at him.

“I want to give you my present now, without anyone looking,” Sirius said, standing very close to me. I looked up at him, smiling.

“Okay. . .” I said excitedly. Sirius pulled something out of his pocket and for a minute, I thought it was a ring. But then I remembered we were sixteen years old and to young to get engaged.

“Happy Christmas,” he smiled, handing me the small box.

It was black velvet with a gold bow tied around it. I pulled it off and, with another glance at Sirius, opened the box slowly. I gasped at what I saw inside. It was a locket, sitting on a delicate chain. A beautiful locket in the shape of a heart and no bigger then the tip of my pointer finger. Diamonds were engraved into the front of it and on the back read: I Love You–S.B. in tiny elegant writing. I opened up the locket and saw two, tiny pictures of Sirius and me moving inside. I looked up at Sirius smiling.

“Thank you,” I said and had to stand on my tippy toes to kiss him, which he leaned down for anyways. I tried to put all my love and thanks into that kiss, but knew it wouldn’t be enough either way. With Sirius’s help, I put the locket on and then, we went downstairs to open my other gifts.

“You’re gift was fun! Now, I have a collar,” Sirius laughed, pulling the silver necklace I gave him out for under his shirt.

It was in the shape of a dog bone, and had Sirius’s name engraved in it. I had then hardest time picking a present out for him. James and I snuck out of school one afternoon when Sirius was serving a detention. I didn’t want to go shopping for him with him standing next to me. So, James and I went together. I was going to help him pick out something for Lily and he was helping me pick out something for Sirius. I must have circled the village six times, James following along, trying to find something. I wanted it to be personal, seeing how this was the first present Sirius would ever receive from me. I had already bought a box of bone shaped dog bones, but wanted to get him something else. Dog like, since that was sort of the theme I was going for. We were passing a jewelry store when I spotted the necklace in the window. I was about to put Padfoot in it.

“No,” James had said, “That isn’t really, personal, seeing how Remus, Peter, and I call him Padfoot all the time. Don’t you have like a nickname for him or something.”

“Oh yeah,” I joked, “Sirius will love to wear something that says ‘Snuffles’ on it.”

In the end, I had just settled for his real name. It was actually very expensive, having to get his name engraved in it and all. But I was happy, but still worried about Sirius liking it. I knew he would like the chocolate a lot. I was able relax now that I knew Sirius really did like it. Or at least wearing it.

In the living room, Bridget was already done opening her gifts and was looking at each one. I had given her some make-up I hadn’t yet opened. She didn’t like it, judging by the way it was thrown to the side with the cute jacket that Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott got her(it wasn’t a name brand). I rolled my eyes at her studying the Louis Vuitton purse, as if making sure it was a real one.

“Libby!” Sandra Potter grinned when she saw me, “Happy Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas,” I hugged her, shook John Potter’s hand, and then hugged James before turning to my Aunt and Uncle and greeting them.

“Thanks for the Pranking Kit, Libs,” James said loudly over Bridget’s whines of not receiving a Muggle cell phone. Why she wanted a Muggle object, I had no idea.

“You’re welcome,” I said, smiling once more.

I began to open my presents since I was the only one left. James, who insisted I open his present first, got me a Vanilla body spray and a large box of chocolate, which Bridget rudely told me I didn’t need. Lily had gotten me two large books on fun spells for both Defense and Charms. Kirsten sent me a box of Pumpkin Pasties and a make-up kit with a large supply of my favorite shades. Remus sent me a book on Werewolves. James whispered it was just a little something for me to understand more. Mr and Mrs. Potter got me a book on Quidditch and a Broomstick Care Kit, something James took from my hands immediately to see if it was better then his. Bridget, Aunt Cynthia, and Uncle Denis got me a box of Bernie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans and sterling sliver hoops and a matching necklace and bracelet. Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott got me the new broom I had asked for. It was a Nimbus 1000, the lates brand, James immediately took it and began explaining every little detail of it. And then, finally, Jacob got me the new album to my favorite Muggle band, Billy Talent(Love them!). I thanked everyone for my gifts and hugged everyone again.

When I leaned over to hug James, the necklace Sirius had given me swung wildly. Bridget, who always seems to care what I’m wearing, eyed the locket curiously. Once my Aunts and Uncles and the Potters left the room, Sirius helped me up off the floor, and taking my hand, began to lead me out of the room.

“You have to see what the Potters got me,” he said, if he were in his dog shape, his tail would be wagging like crazy. I smiled, curious as to what James and his parents got Sirius that was so exciting.

“Wait, don’t leave me!” James said chasing us out of the room. We pulled on our boots and put on cloaks and scarves on before Sirius dragged me outside and lead the way to the Potter’s garage.

“It’s great, you’ll love it,” Sirius was saying excitedly.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You’ll see,” Sirius laughed. I looked at James, who was also smiling. He winked at me, but didn’t give me a clue.

Sirius opened the garage and as the door went up loudly, I peaked through trying to see what was in the garage. I gasped when I saw a brand new motorcycle sitting in the middle of the room, a large silver ribbon on the handles. Sirius pulled me inside and towards the bike. I didn’t know much about motorcycles, but I could tell this one was a nice one.

“Wow. They gave you this?” I asked, running my hand over the leather seats.

“Yeah, isn’t it great? I always wanted a bike,” Sirius said, looking at the bike fondly, “Wanna go for a ride?”

“Oh, no,” I said, backing away.

“He’s an good driver,” James assured me, “We already went for a ride.”

“Please, Libby, please?” Sirius gave me puppy eyes. I shook my head, not to sure about motorcycles. The next thing I new, there was a big black dog sitting in front of me, tail wagging, begging me. I laughed, but couldn’t resists the face.

“Fine!” I said throwing my hands up, James laughing by the door, “But that wasn’t fair! You have an advantage!” The dog barked and then Sirius was standing in it’s place. He handed me a helmet and I put it on, trying not to worry about helmet hair. Sirius put one on himself and then got on the bike in front of me. He started the bike. The roar the engine echoed as Sirius pushed it out of the garage.

“Hang on,” Sirius called over his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his waist and closed my eyes as Sirius accelerated the bike. For a second it bounced as if we ran over something, but then the ride was quite smooth. I opened my eyes and gave a little scream.

“We’re flying!” I shouted over the wind, “You didn’t tell me the bike could fly!”

“You never asked!” Sirius laughed.

I looked below. Muggles could easily see us and hear us. The bike was so loud. I bit my lip, nervously. This was a lot like a broomstick, only more comfortable and loud. It didn’t stray of course as easily either, because it was a lot heavier then a broom. After about five minutes, I loosened my death grip on Sirius’s waist and relaxed a bit. This wasn’t so bad. It was actually kind of nice, except for the biting cold that froze my nose. Sirius seemed to be enjoying himself, too, and that made me happy just knowing that he was happy.

All to soon, we landed. James, his dad, and Uncle Scott were waiting in the garage, laughing. The landing was quiet smooth, it just felt like we ran over another person like take off was. Sirius came to a stop inside the garage and turned to the engine. He helped me off the bike and I yanked of the helmet, trying to fix my hair. Sirius ran a hand through his and it somehow went back to being perfect. I pouted. That was no fair, he’s to perfect.

“How was it?” John Potter asked me.

“It was actually pretty cool. Scary at first, but I liked it once I got used to it,” I said, still messing with my hair. Sirius pulled a mirror out of his pocket and handed it to me. I stared at him for a minute and then decided not to ask.

“How do you like it, Sirius?” Uncle Scott asked, looking at the bike with interest.

“It’s great,” Sirius said happily, and again, stared at the bike like it was the best thing he’s ever seen. I felt a bit jealous, but pushed it away. It was a bike, not another girl.

I looked back in the mirror and screamed, tossing the mirror away. James lunged forward and caught it after falling to the floor. He laughed as he stood up, brushing off the dust from his clothes.

“What happened?” Sirius asked, worried from my scream.

“James’s face was in your mirror,” I said, still a bit startled. For a minute Sirius looked confused, then a grin spread across his face and he started laughing with James. I glared at them as John and Uncle Scott exchanged glaces.

“Love,” Sirius said, taking the mirror from James and handing it back to me, “It’s a two way mirror. Look,” he said. My reflection was back.

“Libby Cullen,” James said from across the room. The mirror went blank and then James’s face was grinning at me, “We use when we have separate detentions.” His voice came from the side of the room, and then the mirror only a moment later. I relaxed and glared at James.

“That wasn’t funny,” I snapped at him, “You could have at least told me!”

“Sorry, Libs,” James laughed as he pocketed his mirror and Sirius pocketed his.


My Aunt had twisted my hair into an elegant manner. My curls were escaping and framing my face nicely. She had done my make-up so I looked very nice and I was wearing a midnight blue dress. My shoes were clear and I had worked hard on my pedicure all afternoon. I had on Sirius’s necklace and gold earrings. I was wearing my favorite rings and gold bracelets and felt beautiful. And nervous. This was going to be the first time Sirius had ever seen me all dressed up like this.

Every year, the Potters held a formal party at their house. They invited mostly people from the Ministry, but every so often, you could run into a healer from St. Mungo’s or someone from Gringotts. It all depended. Usually, I didn’t have to go. Usually, I would have to stay home. But since last year, I’ve had attended these rather boring parties. I liked the dressing up part though, and this year I would see Sirius dressed up. I was so nervous.

Uncle Scott had cleared a path to the Potters so we could walk without getting our dresses wet and cold. We knocked the front door, something we never did, and John opened the door in welcome. When he saw us, a smile broke out onto his face and he ushered us in.

“You all look wonderful. Here, have a drink!” he said, then seeing me he winked, “Sirius should be down in a minute.”

“Libby!” came a very familiar voice. I looked up and gasped.

“Lily!” I grinned hurrying towards her.

“Wow, you look so pretty,” Lily said.

“So do you,” I countered. Lily was dressed in green robes. Her eyes stood out more then anything and her hair was curled around her face.

“How’s your holiday been?” Lily went on, “I loved the bracelet you got me. It’s very pretty.”

“You’re welcome,” I grinned, then I laughed, “Sirius got a motorcycle for Christmas. And it flies!”

“You’re kidding?” Lily laughed, too, “Yeah, a bike fits him.”

“Hello, Lily,” James was suddenly at my side, “You look beautiful.”

Lily blushed as James held out her hand and she took it. He led her away with a wink at me. I looked around, but didn’t see Sirius anywhere. I almost went after Lily and James, it wasn’t good to be alone at the parties. The boring Ministry people come up to you and drone on about whatever issue is going on.

I felt hands on my shoulders and tried to turn around when I heard a voice in my ear whisper, “You look gorgeous, love.”

I turned around to see Sirius. His hair was, as always, falling into his eyes, but he brushed it differently so it looked more sophiscated tonight. He was in black robes and had a small smile on his face. Seeing his dimple made me smile and he held out his arm. I was to busy gaping at Sirius to see it. I didn’t think he could ever look any better, but here he was. Causing me to be speechless and wonder, yet again, what it was that Sirius saw in me.

“You might want to close your mouth,” Sirius muttered. I shook my head and did so. Sirius then laughed and kissed me softly and quickly. I linked my arms with his and we walked off into the party.


Sirius and I couldn’t find James and Lily. We were talking to them five minutes ago and they left to get something to drink. Now, wondering around the downstairs for them, I was beginning to think they ditched us.

“I bet they went to go snog,” Sirius snickered.

“During a party?” I gasped.

“Libby, I would drag you off for a snog if I hadn’t seen you for a week, too,” Sirius shrugged it off like it was no big deal. I rolled my eyes.

“I would feel so odd,” I laughed.

Music was playing in the back ground, it was a nice tune and a few people were moving to the beat, though not really dancing. This was not the type of party you would dance at. Sirius suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me away. He led me onto the porch outside. The french doors were propped open and when Sirius and I came out, the small group standing outside went back in. The cold nipped my bare shoulders, but the heat from the house was enough to keep me warm.

“I love this place,” Sirius muttered. I looked up at him.

“It has to be better then you’re parents house,” I said.

“Trust me, it is. Even the party is better. I mean, yeah, it’s boring and all, but it’s not filled with Pureblood obsessed people who sneer at you as you walk by,” Sirius sighed, “I love living with James though. It’s going to suck when I move out.”

“When are you moving out?” I asked startled.

“As soon as we graduate from Hogwarts. I don’t want to overstay my welcome, you know?” Sirius asked. I nodded.

“I’m going with you then. I don’t want you to be alone,” I said stubbornly. Sirius looked at me and smiled. Then he kissed my forehead.

The song changed then. A slow song from a group I’ve listened to a while back. Sirius and I listened to the intro for a moment and then he smirked. He bowed low to me, holding out his arm saying, “May I have this dance?”

I giggled and stood, giving him a curtsey before taking his outstretched arm. Sirius pulled me away from the door so that no one could see us, not that we cared. It was colder away from the door, but my insides were warm as Sirius pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my waist. I wrapped my own around his neck, staring up at him.

Every time our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more then I can take
Baby, when you touch me
I can feel how much you love me
And it just blows me away
I’ve never been this close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams

Sirius pressed his forehead to mine and we slowly moved in a circle. I could feel Sirius’s heart beating in his chest, mine was in perfect rhythm with his. He smiled at me, looking into my eyes through his long eyelashes. I swear, I was floating then. It was like nothing else existed.

“Sirius. . .” I whispered.

“Sshh, don’t say anything,” Sirius muttered, putting a finger to my lips. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply.

I don’t know how you do what you do
I’m so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I’m amazed by you

Sirius had lifted his head from mine now. My head was resting on his shoulder now, listening more intently to his racing heart. It was going as fast as mine, though I couldn’t understand why dancing was making us so crazy. All I knew was that I was regretting the end of the song because I knew as soon as it ended, I would have to stop dancing with Sirius and our moment would be over.

The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in the dark
Your hair all around me, baby you surround me
You touch every place in my heart
Oh, it feels like the first time, every time
I wanna spend the whole night in your eyes

But maybe this moment wouldn’t be over when the song ended. Maybe, the way I’m feeling now. The way by heart was racing, my stomach twisting, the floating feeling, the way Sirius was looking at me. Maybe this was all part of being in love. This was what you felt. I liked the feeling, actually. It was nice. Like nothing could ever go wrong again. I was safe in Sirius’s arms. I was safe now and I always will be.

I don’t know how you do what you do
I’m so in love with you, it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life, with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I’m amazed by you

As the song went into the instrumental solo part, I looked up at Sirius. For the first time, I was realizing just how much I really loved Sirius. I said I did, I know that, but now I somehow felt different. Like our love for one another was even stronger then before. This simple dance was changing everything.

“Sirius,” I said again.

“What?” Sirius asked.

“I love you,” I said. It was the first time I said it to Sirius without him saying it to me, first. I knew Sirius hadn’t overlooked that fact either.

“I love you, too,” he said. Then, nuzzling my neck, he said in my ear, “This song is exactly the way I feel about you.”

Every little thing that you do
I’m so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Oh, every little thing that you do
Baby, I’m amazed by you

(---Lonestar “Amazed”)

As the last notes rang out, Sirius and I stayed in each others arms. We were looking at one another in a way we’ve never looked at one another before. Sirius kissed me softly, at first, but then something happened. Like the kisses we’ve been needing since that dare over the summer had just been a warm up. The kiss Sirius gave me now was filled with love and passion. I kissed him back hungrily, not caring that if anyone walked out here right now, they’d see us.

Really, though, I should have cared. Because just as Sirius had pulled me closer, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. Sirius and I pulled away reluctantly and looked at who interrupted us. My insides twisted when I saw my Uncle Scott, Aunt Becky, John and Sandra Potter, Bridget, James, Lily, Jacob and the Minister of Magic himself standing there, watching us with bemused expressions.

Except my Uncle Scott.

It was him who had tapped me on the shoulder. His eyes were blazing angrily as he looked at me and Sirius, who still were wrapped together. I bit my lip, blushing bright red in embarrassment. For a minute, I thought my Uncle was going to start yelling at us, but then he took a deep breath and turned away.

“I think we should head home,” Aunt Becky said, looking after Uncle Scott nervously.

Sirius, Lily, and the Potters followed us to the front of the house where we put our jackets back on. I was still red in the face and Sirius looked a bit awkward. As my aunt opened the door, I turned back to say good bye to Sirius. He leaned down to kiss me, but Uncle Scott pulled me away.

“You’ve got enough already,” he snapped. My jaw dropped and Sirius backed off in shock. Lily and James exchanged glances with one another as Jacob giggled a little. I threw him a glare.

We crossed back to my house and as soon as we were inside, Uncle Scott rounded on me. He looked scary and I couldn’t understand what had made him so mad and angry. He was glad Sirius and me were going out! Just this morning he was teasing us about it.

“In front of all those people!” he yelled, “Shoving your tongue down a boy’s throat in front of people! The Minister was there and you’re standing outside swapping spit with a Black!”

“We weren’t!” I snapped, angry tears welling up in my eyes, “Sirius was being funny by asking me to dance and so I went along with it. We were just dancing!”

“Dancing? Is that what you kids call kissing these days? Dancing?” Scott snapped.

“No, Sirius just kissed me after we finished dancing!” I insisted, my tears spilling over now, “We didn’t mean for anyone to see. No one was outside but us.”

“So if we hadn’t interrupted you two, what would you be doing now? Sneaking up to your room? Or his room?”

“Scott!” Aunt Becky gasped. Jacob was listening intently, too.

“Why would you think that?” I cried, “Sirius wouldn’t try to do that to me until I’m ready. He told me he wasn’t going to do anything to me!”

“Oh, so you’ve discussed this already?” Uncle Scott asked with an angry laugh.

“No, it was something Lucius Malfoy said and Sirius was assuring me that—”

“It certainly looked like that was on his mind when he was kissing you!” Uncle Scott interrupted.

“It wasn’t,” I said.

“How do you know, Libby? He’s a sixteen year old boy!”

“Yes, but he loves me!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I love him!”

“You’re not even seventeen yet, you don’t know what love is!”

“Yes I do. I felt it tonight. It was stronger then anything I’ve ever felt before!”

“Scott,” Aunt Becky said, “Leave her be, please?”

“I’m only protecting you, Libby. There were all these people. Sirius is a Black. He might not be like them, but being disowned from his family leaves him with nothing to inherit. He’s not suitable for you!”

“You had no problem with me and Sirius earlier. You were happy for us when we stepped off the train. If anything I thought Aunt Becky might be the one to be fighting with me! What happened?” I asked.

The room was silent for a moment and I didn’t think that Uncle Scott was going to answer me. But then, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes.

“I saw the way he was looking at you,” he said, “I really saw how he was looking at you. And I don’t want to lose you, Libby, you’re like my daughter.”

“But I’m not,” I said more harshly then I intended, “You’re not my father and I’m not you’re daughter.”

Then I turned, gathering the front of my dress in my hands, and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I was ashamed of what I said, but I knew I was wasn’t going to say sorry anytime soon.

A/N: The last chapter before the plot takes a turn. . . aren't you excited?? Anyways, i know this chapter was like REALLY REALLY REALLY corny. But it works into the plot nicely, does it not?

Now, because you all are wonderful, here is your daily little something from chapter seventeen: The Navy Song

“James, there was an attack at the Ministry Ball,” I said trying to sound calm, “We need to go to the hospital.”

“When did the party end?” James asked, looking at me cross-eyed.

“Not to long ago,” I shrugged. James leaned over and pulled up a floorboard. There were potions inside and he took one, taking a nice gulp. He waited a minute and then, suddenly, he was sober again. No hangover or anything. I stared at him curiously.

“What did you say?” he asked, “There’s been an attack?”

I know it's really short, but if i gave any more away from ANY part of the chapter, it would be a total give away and no shocking twist, like i want it to be.

Now, please be the wonderful people you are and leave a review right down there in that box. Love you!!

Chapter 17: The Navy Song
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything is JK Rowlings. Lyrics are written and performed by the best, most talents, amazing, wonderful, extrodinary band that i listen to for hours and never get tired of, Billy Talent (and it's four guys, not just one! lol)

Chapter Seventeen
The Navy Song

I gave my life to save her
The ocean turned to red
In the fall, in the fall, when the tide took them all
In the fall, in the fall, when the tide took them all
Cut down like lambs at slaughter,
Good men were left for dead
In the fall, in the fall, when the tide took them all
In the fall, in the fall, when the tide took them all

--Billy Talent "the Navy Song"

Before I knew it, New Years Eve had come around. My holiday, so far, was pretty horrible. I still hadn’t said sorry to my Uncle and he barely looked at me anymore. Every time I tried to say sorry, he’d get up and walk away. It was painful for me to know that he thought I really meant what I said. Which I didn’t.

Sirius and I were more careful about where we were when we kissed now. Both of us had become pretty paranoid that someone was going to walk in on us all the time now. Jacob seemed eager to do so and followed us around eagerly, spying on us. This annoyed me to some extent and I had gotten violent on more then one occasion. Luckily, Jake couldn’t go running to Aunt Becky because he’d get in trouble for spying. Not that Aunt Becky was happy with me anyways. She would love a reason to yell at me. Then she can bring up what I said to Uncle Scott and make me feel uncomfortable and guilty.

I deserved everything I got though.

Bridget and her parents left on New Years Eve morning. They had their own parties in France to attend and went soaring away in their flying car. I was relieved for that. At least she wouldn’t be at the party being thrown at the Potters.

James and Sirius were so excited about this party. They told me yesterday, as we built a snowman, that they had successfully smuggled the firewhisky into the house. I was surprised that Sandra Potter trusted James so much that she was allowing him to have a party, but even more surprised when she showed no signs of knowing there was Firewhisky in her underage son’s closet. I was tempted to tell her, that way the party would be canceled and I wouldn’t have to sneak out and probably get caught.

My aunt and uncle had told me that I wasn’t allowed to go. Uncle Scott muttered something about a unsupervised, teenaged party is a lot worse then a party filled with Ministry guests. Sirius, being the Marauder he is, talked me into sneaking out as soon as they are gone. Jacob is going to Will’s house, so if I could get back home before two o’clock, then I wouldn’t get caught. I hated lying to my aunt and uncle. To my mom and dad, but I really wanted to go to this party. And not for the firewhisky, but because someone had to stay sober to know when the party is getting out of hand. For some reason, I didn’t trust Lily and Kirsten with this task.

Jacob left for Will’s at noon. I stayed in my room, going over my plan in my head and setting my watch for one-thirty, the end time for the party, so I can get every single drunk teenager home and then pretend to be asleep by the time Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott come home. My nerves were spinning uncomfortably all day, and when Aunt Becky called me down for dinner, I went slowly, fearing I will shout out what I’m planning to do at the table.

“So, what are you planning on doing?” Aunt Becky asked, trying to make the tension at the table go away. It didn’t falter.

“Me?” I asked nervously, “Nothing. Nothing at all. I’ll probably watch the Muggle New Years party on tv and then, I dunno, go to bed. It’s not like I have a party or anything to go to.” I wanted to slap myself.

“Some boyfriend Sirius is,” Uncle Scott said coldly, I relaxed a bit seeing that neither of my guardians suspected, “Doesn’t spend New Years with his girlfriend.”

“Well, we would be spending it together if we were allowed,” I mumbled, looking at my food. Uncle Scott left the table then, angrily. My aunt glared at me and then also left.

At nine o’clock, the Potters came to the door seeing if Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott were ready. For a minute I was so jealous they got to go to a ball. Aunt Becky and Sandra looked so beautiful in their dress robes, and Uncle Scott and John Potter so handsome. As they walked out to the Ministry car that was taking them to the ball, I waved them goodbye. Once they were out of site, I waited for twenty minutes to make sure they weren’t coming back.

Then, I ran upstairs and changed out of my pajama pants and t-shirt. I pulled on a fitted, red top and my most comfortable jeans. Then I fluffed my hair out with my hands and put on my make-up a bit heavier then usual. I slipped my feet into black flats and ran downstairs, putting my wand in my pocket. I grabbed my cloak, and after making sure the house was locked, I ran across the snowy lawns and slipped threw the back door of James’s house.

“Finally,” Sirius said wrapping me in his arms and kissing me deeply. My knees almost went weak when I saw him. They’ve been doing that lately. Sirius was dressed in a black button down shirt and those black jeans that fit him so perfectly. Somehow, he looked more god-like tonight then I have ever seen him look before.

“I had to get ready. They would wonder why I’m dressed for a party when I’m supposed to be home watching the Muggle New Years celebration,” I explained, “Is everyone here?”

“Almost everyone,” Sirius said as we exited the kitchen, “A few people are arriving late, some can’t come at all. Lily and Kirsten were the first to show and Remus is here. Peter’s mom won’t let him come. They’re having a celebration of their own.”

“No one’s drunk, are they?” I asked. The party only started an hour ago.

“Yet,” Sirius laughed. He was pulling me into the crowd and as we stopped to let a dancing couple pass, he leaned into my ear and whispered, “You look irresistible tonight, you know.”

“Thank you,” I smiled, “You don’t look to bad yourself.”

The party got out of hand at about eleven. By then, more then half the guest were drunk. Including James, Lily, Kirsten, and Sirius. Luckily, Remus was sober, too, so he was able to help me try and keep the place from being trapped. Hoping we wouldn’t get in trouble for using magic, we put Unbreakable Charms on anything breakable and keep having to check the other rooms for people snogging and doing a lot more.

Nonetheless, I was having fun. Though, I wasn’t drinking as much as everyone else, I relaxed a bit seeing that nothing could break and the rooms were clear most of the time. It was fun to watch Lily drunk. I didn’t even know she drank alcohol and was shocked when she and James stumbled across the dance floor looking like idiots. I wished I was one of the many that wouldn’t remember their crazy dance in the morning. Sirius acted pretty much like himself when drunk, but more open and a bit jerky. He tried to drag me upstairs twice, hit on four different girls, snogged one, and did quite a few more things that made me mad. If it weren’t for Remus’s constant reminders that Sirius had no idea what he’s doing or saying, I think I would have killed Sirius.

At eleven fifty-nine, we all watched the clock and counted down to midnight. Then more firewhisky came out and more partying began. People began to pass out at about twelve forty-five. I wasn’t surprised that Sirius was one of those people. James and Lily disappeared and so did Kirsten. I worried, but couldn’t find them and by one, I decided to end the party early. Everyone that was able to floo, formed a wobbly line by the fireplace and the few people that could apperate, apperated without hurting themselves. Remus helped me get the unconscience people home and then, we tried to clean up a little. It was harder then we thought.

I found Lily and James in the pantry, snogging each other senseless, and sent Lily home. James passed out halfway up the stairs and Remus and I had to pull him up since we didn’t dare use magic again. I was shocked to find that Remus was a lot stronger then he looks and figured it was his werewolf strength. We were going to try and move Sirius, but he would push us away in his sleep whenever we went to lift him. So, we left him on the couch. Remus then went home and I went to the kitchen and grabbed my cloak.

I looked at my clock and gasped when I saw it was after two o’clock. I peeked over at my own house and saw the only lights on were the ones I had left one. No one was home yet. I had only seconds to get there, make it look like I had a solitary party of my own, get back into my pajamas, and into bed. I was about to leave when someone laid a hand on my shoulder. I jump and spun around. My stomach dropped to my feet when I saw my aunt standing there.

“Aunt Becky!” I gasped, “Look, I only came over here to—”

“We’ll talk about this later, Libby. We have some more important matters right now,” Aunt Becky cut me off. She sounded scared and upset. Her hair was messy and her dress torn, her make-up smeared and there was a cut on her cheek.

“Aunt Becky, what happened?” I asked, worried.

“There was an attack!” Aunt Becky burst into tears on my shoulder, “At the b-ball at m-m-midnight! You’re u-un-uncle and Sandra are in the h-hospital. John is d-d-dead. I came home to get you to help me and you w-weren’t there. I got so s-scared. I thought they had gotten you!”

“Sshh, Aunt Becky, I’m fine,” I said softly, but my head was spinning. She didn’t just said John is dead, did she? John Potter? One of the best Aurors in the Wizarding World? It can’t be the same ones.

“Oh, Libby, S-Scott is so injured. The h-healers don’t think he’ll m-m-make it. And I have to tell Sandra about John when she w-wakes up. I c-can’t do it a-a-alone!”

“I know, I’m here. I’ll help you,” I said, but my voice was shaking and my knees felt weak. But not the way Sirius made them.

“W-w-we have to wake up J-James and tell him a-about his d-dad,” Aunt Becky said. I led her to a chair and sat her down.

“I’ll get both him and Sirius, okay? Just stay here,” I said. Then, feeling like I was in a dream, I ran up the stairs and into James’s room.

He was snoring loudly, something he never usually did. Like I had thought, James didn’t wake to me shaking him or yelling in his ear. I was crying after ten minutes. My uncle was dying. John Potter was dead. The threat from Voldemort is getting stronger and more dangerous. I went into his bathroom and filled a cup of freezing cold water and splashed it on his face. He woke up startled and looked around uncertainly.

“James, there was an attack at the Ministry Ball,” I said trying to sound calm, “We need to go to the hospital.”

“When did the party end?” James asked, looking at me cross-eyed.

“Not to long ago,” I shrugged. James leaned over and pulled up a floorboard. There were potions inside and he took one, taking a nice gulp. He waited a minute and then, suddenly, he was sober again. No hangover or anything. I stared at him curiously.

“What did you say?” he asked, “There’s been an attack?”

“Yes. At the Ministry ball. Y-you’re d-dad is. . .you’re mom is in the hospital with my Uncle,” I said, not able to tell James the news. He was already up and putting his feet back in his shoes. He grabbed another potion before going to Sirius’s room, he frowned when he didn’t see him in it.

“Downstairs,” I muttered, trying to wipe my tears away. James disappeared down the stairs and by the time I had emerged from them, Sirius was sitting up taking a gulp of the potion. He saw me. He saw my tears and was holding me instantly.

“Oh, James,” my aunt said when we entered the kitchen, “You look so much like him. So much. Right down to the eyes.”

“Er. . .” James said, looking at me. More tears spilled from both me and Aunt Becky. Me because I couldn’t believe it. Aunt Becky because she couldn’t believe she still had to tell him. Sirius held me tighter and I rested my head on his shoulder, staining his shirt.

“James,” Aunt Becky choked out, “Y-y-your father is. . .h-he c-couldn’t hold off the D-Deatheaters. H-he’s. . .”

“Dead, James” I finished, knowing my aunt wasn’t ever going to and not being about to take it. James’s face paled incredibly and Sirius suddenly let me go. I stood alone, tears running down my face.

“What?” James asked sounded like a frightened five year old.

“He is dead,” Aunt Becky said, her voice didn’t crack this time.

“No! No, he isn’t!” James said, backing away. He looked at me then Sirius, as if hoping one of us would slap him on the back and yell April Fools or something. But when neither of us did, his knees collapsed. Sirius was by his side in an instant.

I had only seen James cry once before when we were eight, about three weeks after meeting him. His gerbil had died. Seeing him cry then was no big deal. We were young. He got over it and now if you mention it to him, he denies shedding one tear to anyone but me. Now, however, he was sixteen and crying over something much worse then a gerbil. The pain from this never would fade. As he cried on Sirius’s shoulder, I realized Sirius was crying silently, but trying not to let James see. He knew that him crying would make things worse. I kneeled down next to them both and put my arms around James.


At St. Mungo’s, I sit next to a pale, red eyed James. I was holding his hand, trying to show him I was here. Sirius was on his other side. Ready to be there if James breaks down again. We kept looking at one another, but quickly looked away. Something had changed. Yes, Sirius still made my knees weak and I still had to tell my heart to slow down when I see him, but something has changed and it made me nervous.

A Healer came towards us about six in the morning. Sandra Potter had woken up and is ready for visitors. We all let James go in. I watched from the window as James went to his mother, who burst into tears upon seeing him. Sirius stood by me, but he didn’t hold my hand or even look at me. Again, I knew something had changed and it made me more nervous.

The Healer came out again about an hour later. My aunt looked at him expectantly, for this was the news of my Uncle. I bit my lip and shallowed hard.

“He will live,” the healer said. We all relaxed.

“Thank merlin,” my Aunt sighed.

“But he’s in a coma. We can’t say how long he’ll be in his condition. We’re moving him to the long term ward to make him more comfortable. All we can do now is hope he wakes up soon,” the Healer went on. Aunt Becky’s face paled again, but she still looked relieved to know Uncle Scott would live.

She and I went in to see him. The Healer said that sometimes people in comas can hear what is being said to them. I was tempted to apologize, but I didn’t want to do that with Aunt Becky in the room. Instead, I looked at his cut and bruised face. He looked like he was sleeping and I expected him to sit up, smiling, in seconds.

But he didn’t.

Not being able to stand being in the room much longer, I left. James and Sirius were in Sandra Potter’s room. James was wiping tears from his eyes, but Sandra made no move to wipe her own. Sirius was talking quietly. I knocked on the door and entered, unsure if I wanted to be in the room. Sirius stopped talking and James came over to me. He wrapped me into a hug and held me close. I hugged him tightly back before turning over to Sandra Potter.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, John Potter was like another Uncle to me.

“I know, this is hard for all of us,” Sandra said weakly, her voice cracking. I leaned down and hugged her as she asked, “How’s Scott?”

“He’ll live,” I shrugged, “But he slipped into a coma.”

“He and John were fighting so hard and the Death Eaters were going for him. After I saw go down, I thought Scott would be gone too. There were so many Death Eaters. Much more then we had believed there to be.” Sandra explained sadly. I suddenly wished I hadn’t come in here. I didn’t want to hear this.

“Libby?” my Aunt stuck her head in the room, “Go home and get Jacob, will you? I don’t want him to be home alone.”

I nodded and with another hug from both Sandra and James I left. I tried hard to ignore the fact that Sirius had pretty much ignored me. I went to the fireplace in the waiting room and grabbed some floo powder. I was about to throw it in when someone put their hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Sirius. Relief flooded threw me like it had when I heard my Uncle was going to live.

“Mind if I come?” he asked.

“Of course not,” I said.

I threw the Floo Powder into the fireplace and stepped into the flames. I shouted my address and went spinning to my house. I fell out, covered in soot, in my living room. I dusted myself off a little, noticing I was still in the clothes I was wearing last night at the party. Sirius appeared in the fire and stepped out, also dusting himself off.

“Some night, huh?” Sirius asked.

“Some night,” I agreed. I went to the kitchen and had Rosie make me and Sirius some tea while we waited for Jacob to come home at ten. We still had a few hours to go and we went into the living room and sat on the couch. I rested my head on his shoulder and Sirius ran his fingers through my curls.

I wondered how any of this could happen. How could one man cause such damage? I sighed knowing that Ministry attacks were just the beginning of this whole thing. Soon it’s going to get bigger and bigger and then end with a huge bang.

My eyelids began to droop. I hadn’t slept all night. I welcomed the darkness, wanting to escape what had happened. Slowly, I felt asleep, wondering where Kirsten had gotten to last night.


James broke up with Lily.

She had come to his dad’s funeral. After he was buried and we were at his house drinking tea in silent mourning. James had pulled Lily away to talk. I figured it was just to pour out his feelings to her or something, but when they returned, Lily looked more depressed and James stayed away from her the rest of the night. It wasn’t until she and I went back to my house that she told me that she and James were over. James seemed to think things were to crazy right now and he couldn’t deal with the drama of a girlfriend.

The rest of the holidays were horrible. I was at the hospital everyday sitting in with my Uncle. I did apologize to him. My aunt went for some coffee and Jacob had gone with her. It was a very tearful apology, but I felt a little better knowing that I had done what I should have the moment the words had left my mouth.

Besides the hospital, I barely saw Sirius. He was always with James, as if worried James would jump off a cliff the second Sirius turned away. I knew James wasn’t suicidal, just upset. But even when Sirius and I were alone, Sirius didn’t act the way he used to around me. Whenever I was around him, I wanted to get away and whenever I was away from him, I needed to be near him. It was very stressful.

On top of it all, Kirsten was missing. Literally. She hadn’t replied to any of my letters. Or Lily’s. After about four days of this, I told my aunt and Sandra. They didn’t really seemed bothered by it. So, I invited Lily over for the rest of the holidays and we Flooed to Kirsten’s house. Her dad was home, but he had said that Kirsten owled him telling him that she was staying with us for the rest of the Holidays. This worried us and we told Sandra Potter, an Auror, once more. This time, she was definitely worried. With the threat of Voldemort now stronger then ever, she had people looking for Kirsten in a days time. But knowing Kirsten could be hurt scared me.

Lily and I got a capartment of our own on the Hogwarts Express when we headed back to school. Lily didn’t want to be around James. So, I kissed Sirius and we sat by ourselves. It was weird without Kirsten there, telling us about who she thought was looking amazing this term. Laughing with us. Lily and I were silent most of the ride. Darcy Smith and Alice Stewart came in and tried to make conversation, but it failed when we didn’t have Kirsten there.

I was relieved when we arrived at the school. We took the thestral drawn carriages up to the gates where we hustled into the castle for our dinner. Dumbledore made a speech that night. It was about Voldemort and what happened at the Ministry. James was trying hard to ignore the stares he was receiving.

A week later, I was walking down the hall with Sirius hand in hand. Sirius seemed distracted and didn’t say much. I abandoned my attempts at conversations about five minutes before Mcgonagall spotted us in the corridor and called us back.

“Miss Cullen, the Headmaster will like to see you,” she said once she had caught up to us, “Immediately.”

“Okay,” I nodded as Sirius dropped my hand. Without even a goodbye, he was halfway down the corridor before I realized he had left. Frowning, I followed Mcgonagall to Dumbledore’s office. She said the password and I went up.

I knocked softly on the door and entered. Dumbledore sat at his desk reading a rather long bit of parchment and smiled when I shut the door behind me. I could tell he looked tired.

“Have a seat, Libby,” Dumbledore said. I was surprised he called me Libby. He usually used my last name. I sat down, “We’re just waiting for Miss Evans.”

Lily came in only seconds after that. She relaxed visibly when she saw me and sat down in the seat next to me that Dumbledore offered. He looked at us both, but his eyes didn’t have that familiar twinkling that they usually did. I bit my lip nervously.

“They have found Kirsten,” Dumbledore said. We both sat up eagerly.

“Is she okay?” I asked.

“Where was she?” Lily demanded to know. Dumbledore sighed and I knew that Kirsten wasn’t okay.

“I am awear that the party on New Years was the last time anyone had seen her. Apparently, she had met someone there. Someone who decided to attend the party uninvited. She didn’t know this and didn’t care, thanks to the large amounts of Firewhisky that appeared at the party,” Dumbledore looked at us sternly, “She left with him without telling anyone. I believe he was looking for someone. Probably a girl, since he picked Kirsten.”

“Who was it? The one who crashed the party.” I asked with a twisting stomach.

“A Death Eater, I’m afraid,” Dumbledore said.

“No!” I cried, tears bursting to my eyes.

“He didn’t hurt her did he?” Lily squeaked, her tears were already on her streaming down her cheeks.

“Unfortunately, he had his way with her. Probably after he realized he had the wrong girl. And Death Eaters show no mercy. Kirsten couldn’t come back to us because she would have seen his face and know of his plan. He had tortured and used Kirsten before leaving her for dead,” Dumbledore explained, his voice shook once and I let my tears fall freely.

“She’s. . .” I croaked.

“She was missing for over two weeks, even if she were alive, I don’t think she would be able last much longer. Her body was broken, bruised, and probably had some permanent damage. You mental state wouldn’t have been much better. I hate to have to tell you this grave news, but yes, she is gone.”


“Kirsten and Mr. Potter,” Lily said as we walked back to the Gryffindor common room, “Why is this happening, Libby, why do people have to die because of one man?”

“I dunno, but I don’t think Voldemort is human anymore. What would he want with any teenaged girl? How could he send someone to kidnap her?” I asked, staring at Lily in anger and grief.

“He is twisted,” Lily said.

Dumbledore had allowed me and Lily to stay in his office through dinner. He was going to make the announcement of what happened that night. We didn’t eat much and cried a lot, knowing that we would never see our best friend again. We had left his office only a few moments ago, Dumbledore saying that we needed rest. Though, he said he might be speaking with me soon.

In the common room, everyone stared. I was going to go straight up to my dormitory. Lily followed me. As I walked, I searched the room for Sirius and James. They weren’t there. I felt a bit angry at Sirius. He wouldn’t even stick around to make sure I’m okay? To make sure I wouldn’t go jump off a cliff.

I didn’t sleep much that night and had a hard time getting dressed in the morning when I saw that Kirsten’s bed was removed in the night. Lily and I cried together before we went to breakfast. Susan and Samantha didn’t say a word to us. They didn’t even sneer or roll their eyes at us. I would have given anything for them to say something just so I could yell and get some of my anger out.

When I entered the Great Hall, Sirius came up to me. He didn’t acknowledge my grief and he was distracted. I looked at him and he stared at me for a moment. I didn’t think he was going to say anything, but then he did.

“Can we talk?”

I nodded and Sirius led me out into the Great Hall. No longer was he distracted as he looked at me. His look made me nervous. It wasn’t the way he usually looked at me, it was more of a look of confusion and sadness. I shifted uncomfortable and looked away from him.

“Things are messed up,” he said.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “They are.”

“So much going on,” he continued.

“Yeah. So much,” I agreed.

“Libby, you know I love you, right?” Sirius asked. I looked at him frowning.

“I know,” I said.

“James is so confused right now, Libs. He broke up with Lily and I know he feels pain whenever I’m with you. It’s to much,” Sirius said, looking down at the floor.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Libby, I think we should break up,” he said.

My uncle was in a coma. My best friend dead. My neighbor dead. The world I had known was beginning to crumble. Only a few parts of it was held together. Mostly by Sirius, even if he had been acting weird, but without him holding it together, my world that I loved began to fall apart completely. I felt a bit of my sanity slip away from me. My vision began to blur. There was a ringing in my ears. I tried to push it away.

“Just temporarily,” I heard Sirius say, “Until things get settled.”

“I can’t wait forever, Sirius!” I heard myself snapped, “A war is coming. Nothing will be settled until it’s over and by then, who knows, maybe you’ll be dead, maybe I will. Maybe it’ll be 50 years from now, maybe 10. I can’t wait forever!”

“I’m not asking you to, Libby. This is just. . .until-–just give things a month. If things are still to—”

“A month? Sirius, this is going to last for a lot longer then a month. We’re over if you give it a month,” I interrupted. Tears had burst into my eyes again.

“Then this is it,” Sirius sounded strained. My insides were gone. My heart felt like there was a burning hot knife shoved into it, melting it slowly.

“Fine,” I said, shallowing hard, “Fine then.”

“I still love you,” Sirius said. Now anger was boiling up inside me.

“Shove off, Black,” I yelled, then I turned and ran to the Room of Requirement to be alone.

A/N: *dives under bed* Don't kill me!! Please!! I promise they aren't over!! Just for a bit!! I swear!! Okay, first of all, Kirsten had to go. I didn't like her at all and the next think i knew, she was dead! A tragic death, yes, but whatever. It was sort of fun to kill of someone beside James' dad. lol. Um.

Here, this will make it up to you! Chp. 18: What Hurts the Most

“I’m a Marauder,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “James and I figured out how to climb the stairs in third year.”

“But. . .how?” I asked.

“That’s a Marauder secret,” Sirius couldn’t help but grin. I frowned and stood up, brushing flower petals off my clothes and arms.

“Thanks for the Valentine,” I muttered. Sirius didn’t reply. I looked up and he was standing on the other side of my bed.

“You’re not okay, are you?” Sirius whispered.


“I watch you all day, Libby, you can’t seem to get a grasp on life anymore,” Sirius went on, “I’m worried about you.”

See, they aren't going to hate each other forever. *comes out from hiding*

Some people have been asking me about a SEQUEL. Some of you already know the answer, but i'll announce it to everyone. There will be a sequel. i already have the first 12 chapters outlined. Or is 9? Anyways, there will be one. I won't tell you when it takes place, but i will tell you there is a new character in it that's very important and the story is told in three POVs instead of one. lol. yay!

Now, for some shout outs:

GW/HP4EVER: I have never known ANYONE else that has even heard of Billy Talent. I just wanted to tell you that it's totally awesome that you like them and that you are totally cool now! lol. haha. They're my favorite band EVER.


hater101: yes, i am actually going to direct a comment right at you. First, I want to ask you if you seriously think i care about your reviews? The answer, I don't. Second, i want to ask why you, if you hate my story so, you take the time out to read AND review. I mean, come on, you HAVE to have something better to do? You're not making me feel bad at all. Wanna know why? Because you aren't telling me WHY it's bad. You're just saying it sucks. If you gave me details, like things i may be able to fix, then I would actually look forward to your reviews. Otherwise, it's more of a waste of my time then it is yours. As you can see, I have plenty of readers/reviewers that are totally loyal and one person is not going to change the confidence in the only thing i'm passionate about(writing). I know you're intitled to your opinion and all, but you're reviews got old and pointless after the first.

to all my readers/reviews: I love you all and hope you review! It took me over an hour to respond to them all tongiht! Gasp! That made me feel good. Keep giving me that proud feeling!!

Chapter 18: What Hurts the Most
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer:Everthing belongs to JK Rowling. Lyrics by Rascal Flatts.

Chapter Eighteen
What Hurts the Most

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

--Rascal Flatts "What Hurts the Most"

Nothing can compare to this. There can’t anything more painful. More horrible. My insides felt like they had exploded, my heart suffering. I didn’t cry. For some reason I found that I couldn’t let any tears spill. I had lost my best friend. My neighbor. And now the boy I loved. It was like it would never get better. Nothing will help me now. I was just a body walking around, going from place to place. No more smiles, no more laughs, no more anything. It was just me and Lily now.

“I still can’t believe he’d break up with you,” Lily said shaking her head.

It was two days after our break-up. Sirius and I had become the center of gossip. Yeah, people whispered about Kirsten and James, but the couple everyone watched before break, were now done. It was a bit depressing to see everyone watching me in the halls, really. But I ignored all the looks. I didn’t answer the questions shot at me. And I suffered through each class having to sit next to Sirius. In potions we barely spoke and blew up out potion, but we still didn’t talk.

What hurts the most about this whole break-up, was that there were things I needed to say to Sirius. I would see something that I knew would make Sirius smile and I would want to run over to him and tell him. I wanted to tell him I loved him desperately whenever I saw him. I wanted to tell him that I would never stop loving him, that he is still my everything. I wanted him to know that I would give him longer then a month any time because no one can replace him.

“I can’t understand what happened,” I muttered.

“It was me and James, I know. I mean, James said it was temporary, but I bet Sirius felt that he had to choose between you and his best friend,” Lily said, for about the billionth time, “He choose James because, well you know the Marauders, they are so close that it’s insane. I bet that Sirius feels as lost as you right now.”

Almost as if on cue. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter stepped out of a secret passage way laughing their heads off at something. As soon as Sirius spotted me, his face fell. I looked at Lily, both of us thinking that Sirius definitely wasn’t as lost as me. For a minute we all stood there looking at one another.

“Lily?” James asked, “Can I talk to you?”

“Yes,” Lily said and with a glance at me, they walked away. I looked back at the last three Marauders and then continued my way to the Great Hall.

I was half way through picking at my lunch when Lily came in, looking a lot happier since we heard the news about Kirsten. She sat down next to me and grinned before pulling food toward her and piling helpings onto her plate. I stared at her for a minute wondering how she could be so happy.

“You’ll never believe it,” she said pouring herself pumpkin juice.

“Believe what?” I asked, curious.

“James wants to get back together,” she said, “He said that since we got back to Hogwarts, he realizes that now is the time we need each other more then ever. We have to keep the ones we love close now!”

“Wow, Lily, that’s great,” I said forcing a smile. My heart ached a bit more.
“I told him I need to think about it,” Lily said, suddenly her smiles gone. I looked up at her, shocked.

“What?” I gasped.

“I wasn’t sure if it would be okay with you. Without Kirsten here and the break-up between you and Sirius. . .I wanted to make sure you’ll be okay,” Lily said a bit hesitant. I felt guilty for making Lily think like that. I wanted her to be happy as much as I wanted Sirius near me again.

“I’ll be fine, Lily. It’ll help me to see you smile more,” I said giving her a small smile, this time it wasn’t forced.

“Oh, Libby, thank you!” Lily pulled me into a hug, “Everything will work out between you and Sirius, too. I know it will!”

“Thanks,” I said. Lily then smiled at me and then went skipping off towards where the Marauders were seated. I watched her sit next to James. He looked reasonable happier, too.

Sirius was watching them. He looked depressed and a bit angry. His gaze shifted over to me and I looked away before getting up and leaving the Great Hall. I already missed Lily, but she needed James. James needed her. They were meant to be together. Just like how I thought Sirius and I were meant to be together. But I was wrong. Completely and totally wrong.


February came quicker then I had thought. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch re-match against Ravenclaw and if Hufflepuff lost to Slytherin in the next match, we would go to the championships for the Cup against Slytherin. Otherwise, we would play the Ravenclaws for a third time, this time for the Cup.

Sirius and I still hadn’t said anything to one another, though James stopped me more then once in the hall telling me that Sirius didn’t mean it. I felt like I was going mad and felt it, too. My grades were beginning to drop and I getting more and more careless. All I could really think about was Sirius. There was a very narrow line between sanity and insanity and it scared me. Kirsten was always the one that was good with break-ups. I wished she were here again just to help me out. Lily wasn’t being much help. She spent almost every moment possible with James. It was a bit hurtful, actually. I was the third wheel half the time and the other half I was alone.

On Valentine’s Day, there was a Hogsmeade weekend. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. I was staying alone in the castle, without a date. It was very depressing really. I went to be that Friday night depressed as Lily talked about her first Valentine’s Day with James. With a serious boyfriend. I was happy for her, really I was, but couldn’t help but remember that it’s been a month since Sirius and I had broken up. It was really official now. Sirius wasn’t coming back. But I couldn’t bring myself to take off the locket he had given me for Christmas.

I woke up the next morning to Lily’s squeals. They startled me and I sat up straight thinking Lily had received some great present from James. But it she was standing at the end of my bed, smiling widely. Nothing in her hand or anything. That’s when I realized.

My bed was covered in blood red rose petals. The floor around my bed was, too, forming a soft, delicate carpet. Sitting on the end of my bed were dozens of roses, all the same blood red as the petals around me. I sat gaping at them. For a minute, I thought Ben might have sent them, but then I thought otherwise. My heart was beating in my chest loudly.

“Is there a card?” I asked.

“Yes! In the roses,” Lily said. I got out of bed and moved towards them. I realized that there were boxes of chocolate and a set of diamond ears with a matching bracelet and necklace around them. I bit my lip as I lifted them.

“Libby,” Lily was saying, “There’s five dozen roses there. Sixty roses. Plus all the petals must make up another dozen.”

“Wow,” I muttered as I put the jewelry down and pulled the card out of the roses. I opened the card up.

Though we’ve parted and look away from each other’s gazes
I want you to know that I really do still love you
And that the roses before you
The diamonds and chocolate
Can never describe how much you really do mean to me
Let them be a symbol of my love for you
Let them be a small token of my love
Just don’t ever forget that no girl but you is right for me
All my love,

Tears burst into my eyes. I bit my lip to keep them from spilling over. Lily red the card over my shoulder and gasped, putting a hand to her heart and then looking at the roses scattered on my floor and settles in the glass vase.

He still loved me to do this.

Not being able to take it anymore, I went into the bathroom. I set up a hot bath for myself, put a charm on it to keep it hot, and then got into it. I sat in the suds and tried tor relax. I heard the three girls in my dormitory leave for Hogsmeade. Probably with dates, and I still sat there, alone. It wasn’t till well afternoon that I got out and dried myself off. I dressed quickly and then decided to go for a walk around the castle.

It was pretty much empty being a Hogsmeade weekend and considering that it was Valentine’s Day. I sighed as I walked on. I felt so left out now. I felt like more of my sanity was inching away. Being in my lonely, almost depressing state, I knew I was wasting away. I needed someone. Anyone, really, to just talk to. To laugh with or something.

“Libby?” a voice asked. I stopped and squeezed my eyes shut. I guess he was better then nothing.

“Ben,” I said, turning around and looking at the Ravenclaw. He was smirking at me.

“Just think, if you didn’t break up with me, you’d have gotten a Valentine this morning,” he said, “Instead, you get nothing because Black broke your heart. Just like I had expected him to.”

“I did get a Valentine, Ben,” I sneered, very out of character.

“Did you?” Ben looked surprised.

“You said you loved me, so did Sirius. At least he still cared enough even if we are over,” I said, I started walking again, but Ben grabbed my arm and pulled me up to the Seventh Floor and into the Room of Requirement.

I was startled from this motion. So swift and easy. He almost lifted me off my feet and carried me up the many stairs to the room. Now, I stood uncomfortably in the center of the Room of Requirement. Ben was smirking at me.

“When I asked you out, I had a bet,” he said, “My friends and I always have this bet. I have to take your innocence away by the end of the year. I lost twenty galleons to them because you called things off. I thought maybe saying I’ve liked you since third year would work. Then I thought those three words girls long to hear will bring you back to me. But they didn’t because you were to caught up with Black. So, I let you go. But I want my twenty galleons back.”

My eyes grew wide as I listened to him. I couldn’t believe it. Ben. Sweet, kind Ben, really did just want to get in my pants. My heart pounded in my chest. Sirius was always looking out for me.

“Sirius was right about you.” I muttered.

“Yeah, stupid Marauders know so many secret passage ways. I didn’t think that he would walk up behind me from a mirror. It startled me, but I knew you weren’t going to believe him. I played you as well as my good friend Roger Hill. Remember him? He got his ten galleons back when I failed. I want it back. Now,” Ben advanced on me. The door was behind him, causing me to back further into the room. My mind was working fast. I had to keep him talking.

“So, what exactly was this bet? I mean, word for word,” I said, hoping he’d answer. Today, all my hopes were just coming true because Ben did answer.

“I have to take away your virginity by the last day of school. So, here we are. You’re still a virgin and I’m about to take that away and get my twenty galleons back,” Ben smirked. I wanted to throw up, but then an idea came to mind.

“Are you sure about that?” I asked.

“Oh yes, I hate losing bets and I need that money,” Ben replied, still walking closer.

“Now, are you sure I’m a virgin?” I asked allowing a triumph smirk to cross my face when Ben stopped walking, dumbstruck.

“You have to be,” Ben said, a bit desperately, “You’re you!”

“Thanks, Ben, that really boosts my ego,” I said sarcastically.

“No! When? When did this happen? With who—it was Black, wasn’t it?” Ben seemed to be getting angrier by the second. But I just stood there, smirking, though feeling guilty about lying. I would have to somehow tip Sirius off and he’d get pissed at me for saying something like that.

“Of course it was Sirius,” I shrugged, “And when is happened isn’t any of your business. So, if I’m not mistaken, I believe you lost this bet anyways. Can I go?”

Ben stood there for a minute and then smiled, “The guys don’t know that you’re a not a virgin. I can still win my bet.”

He started for me again. I whipped out my wand, remembering that I had it with me, and cast a full body-bind on him. I walked over to him. My triumph fading and turning back into my grief and sadness. Ben looked up at me angrily. I smirked again.

“Don’t mess with me,” I said, “I don’t like it.”

I hurried off down the hall, trying to put as much distance between me and Ben as possible. Having no place to go, though, I took a secret passage Sirius showed me back to the seventh floor where I re-entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Again, I froze. Sirius was sitting on the couch. He was hunched over a pile of parchment and glancing up at a book every once in a while. I was tempted to go up to him. Just watching me sitting there was making me want to run to him.

Tears burned behind my eyes and I gasped a sob back. Sirius looked up at me, startled that someone else was there. When he saw me standing there, he was on his feet in an instant and next to me, looking at me in concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, feeling my forehead. Even after we break up, he’s kind to me, “You feel feverish. And you’re incredibly paler. You aren’t well.”

“I’m fine,” I choked out. Sirius stared at me for a minute.

“No you’re not,” he said. I pulled away from him.

“Who are you to say that?” I snapped, and then I hurried up the girls dormitory the door bouncing back open as I slammed it shut, knowing Sirius couldn’t get up there.

I flopped on my bed before I remembered all the rose petals. I sat up on the opposite side and tried to get all the flower petals off. They stuck to me desperately. Why is it that Sirius always knows when I’m upset. Why did he have to touch me? Now my skin tingled and I felt more mad then ever. I needed help. I should owl my aunt and ask her if I could get my head checked in St. Mungo’s.

“Libby?” Sirius’s voice came from the door way. I jumped and fell sideways off my bed and down to the floor with a thud. I sat back up quickly, rose petals now in my hair and more were sticking to me.

“How did you get up here?” I gasped.

“The stairs?” Sirius said.

“Yeah–but they’re supposed to be a slide. . .and you fall. . .down,” I said somewhat lamely.

“I’m a Marauder,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “James and I figured out how to climb the stairs in third year.”

“But. . .how?” I asked.

“That’s a Marauder secret,” Sirius couldn’t help but grin. I frowned and stood up, brushing flower petals off my clothes and arms.

“Thanks for the Valentine,” I muttered. Sirius didn’t reply. I looked up and he was standing on the other side of my bed.

“You’re not okay, are you?” Sirius whispered.


“I watch you all day, Libby, you can’t seem to get a grasp on life anymore,” Sirius went on, “I’m worried about you.”

“You should be considering half of it is your fault,” I snapped.

“I didn’t know about Kirsten until after I broke up with you. We didn’t go to dinner the night before when the announcement was made and I was ignoring the gossip,” Sirius explained desperately, “I’m so sorry. When I broke things off, you weren’t supposed to take it like that. I lost my temper when you lost yours. It wasn’t supposed to be permanent. Just until James and Lily were back together. Until James realized that he needs Lily the most right now.”

“Sirius,” I said shaking my head, I walked towards the window and looked out, “Sirius, I think I’m going mad. No, I know I’m going mad. I can feel it. And it scares me,” my voice cracked.

“You’re not going mad,” Sirius said from behind me. I turned and saw how close he was standing.

“It’s like you said, Sirius, I can’t seem to get a grasp on life. And I can’t. Everything I do seems so much harder. Even waking up in the morning. I don’t see the point,” I let my tears fall.

“Oh, Libby,” Sirius murmured my name, he wrapped his arms around me and held me close to him, “I think you’re becoming depressed. And it is my fault. You need me as much as Lily needs James. I’m so, so sorry,” he whispered.

For a long time, we just stood there. I was staining Sirius’s shirt and he was holding me the way I had been wanting to be held since the news of Kirsten. I felt calmer then I had for weeks and relieved. This was what I needed. Sirius was what I needed. Were we over? Or can we pick up from where we left off?

“Sirius,” I said, pulling away, so I could look up at him.

“What?” Sirius asked quietly.

“Don’t leave me again,” I edict. Sirius was silent for a moment, his eyes widened.

“Never again,” he said and then, for the first time since the Holidays, Sirius kissed me. Having been apart for so long, we kissed one another hungrily, wanting more. Wanting to make up for the lost time.

Somehow, without parting, we maneuvered towards my bed and Sirius pushed me down. And I was going to keep going, too. I wanted to, really. But then I pushed Sirius off and shook my head.

“Not yet,” I gasped

“Sorry,” he sat up, quickly.

“It’s fine, I’m just not ready,” I shrugged. Then I let a little smile appear, “I told Ben we slept together.”

“What?” Sirius’s jaw dropped, eyes flashing suspiciously.

“He was going to rape me if I didn’t. You were right about him getting in my pants. I should have listened to you,” I explained. Sirius’s jaw tightened.

“Can I beat him up?” he asked.

“Go right on ahead,” I smiled.

Sirius jumped up was out the door in seconds. I laughed for the first time in weeks and went after him, not wanting to miss this.

A/N: I think this is my shortest chapter. it's also going to be my shortest author's note because my mom is yelling at me to get to bed. lol. so, here's a little something from chp. 19 Life of My Own (by 3 Doors Down)

“Um, excuse me, Libby?” the girl said. I turned and smiled, realizing she had been there for a while.

“Sorry, yes?” I asked.

“Professor Dumbledore has asked me to tell you that he would like to see you and Sirius in his office immediately,” the girl said.

“What for?” Sirius asked loudly. Madam Pince shushed him from her desk.

“I don’t know. He just told me that it was important you come as soon as possible,” the Hufflepuff blushed as Sirius looked at her, head tilted to the side.

“Okay, thanks,” he said, “Come on Libby.”

What's this all about? Can it be the whole fate thing again??

PLease review!! I love the feed back!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN(for those of you that celebrate it of course, other wise, Happy Tuesday)!!!!!

Chapter 19: Life of My Own
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything is Jos. Lyrics by 3 Doors Down.

Chapter Nineteen
Life of My Own

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Kiss Me While I'm Still Alive,
Kill Me While I Kiss the Sky
Let Me Die On My Own Terms,
Let Me Live and Let Me Learn
Now I've Followed My Own Way,
I'll Live On to Another Damn Day
Freedom Carries Sacrafice,
Remember When This World's My Life

--3 Doors Down "Life of My Own"

My head rested on Sirius’s chest, listening to his heart beat steadily. His left hand was playing with my curls, while it right was interlinked with my left. I was curled up into a ball and Sirius had his legs stretched in front of him, resting on the table before him. We had been in this position for a long time, just enjoying our moments together before Lily, James, Remus, and Peter returned. I bit my lip remembering how Kirsten thought we were so cute when we fell asleep together on the train. It seemed so long ago.

I was beginning to doze off to Sirius’s heart beat. It was relaxing me so. Just listening to it was making me fell more like myself. For the first time in a long time, I felt like my mind wasn’t getting farther from me. I was able to release of the fear of losing my mind. Now I knew that my sanity lay in the hands of Sirius and no one else. If I lose Sirius, I lose my mind. Just as long as Sirius doesn’t leave me, I’m okay.

And I knew he wasn’t going to leave me.

Not again.

“Libby?” someone was shaking me away. I opened my eyes to see James and Lily looking down at me. Sirius was still dozing next to me.

“Hey, guys,” I said, sitting up to see them better. My sudden movement woke Sirius up. He looked around for a minute and then seeing I was still next to him and Lily and James were there, smiled.

“Prongs, I beat up Carlson,” he said proudly. I giggled. It was a very amusing fight, seeing how Ben was no match for Sirius and was losing after one punch.

“Aw, you should have waited,” James said, sitting in an arm chair and pulling Lily into his lap, “Why did you repeatedly hit him, anyways?”

“He was a jerk to me when I ran into him in a hall,” I explained, “No, he was more then a jerk and Sirius had warned me about him and I didn’t listen.”

“The idiot,” James growled, obviously knowing what I was talking about, “What is it with Ravenclaws and trying to sleep with you, Libby?” he asked after a time.

“It was a bet last year and a bet this year,” Libby sighed.

“I’m not taking any bets,” Sirius whispered in my ear. I smiled, a little assured.

“So, when did this happen?” James said pointing between us. We grinned.


Over the next week I was indeed a lot better at concentrating on my lessons and doing my homework. Sirius helped me catch up. It gave us something else to do together.

The whole school knew we were back together. We would only leave each other’s side for Quidditch and at night. Though, sometimes I would sneak up into the boys dorm and crawl into bed with Sirius, just to know he was there next to me. James was a bit angry the first two times, until he realized we both were clothed and wouldn’t dare try anything in front of him. But other then those few occasions, Sirius and I were always together. Always.

We were both doing homework in the library on a Sunday afternoon when a Hufflepuff fifth year Prefect came up to us. We were to busy arguing over the effects and properties of Moonstone to notice her. She was shy and quietly cleared her throat. I was now scribbling out some of Sirius’s essay while he told me I was messing it up. The girl cleared her throat again, but now I was showing Sirius the correct answer in the book we had pulled off the shelf.

“Um, excuse me, Libby?” the girl said. I turned and smiled, realizing she had been there for a while.

“Sorry, yes?” I asked.

“Professor Dumbledore has asked me to tell you that he would like to see you and Sirius in his office immediately,” the girl said.

“What for?” Sirius asked loudly. Madam Pince shushed him from her desk.

“I don’t know. He just told me that it was important you come as soon as possible,” the Hufflepuff blushed as Sirius looked at her, head tilted to the side.

“Okay, thanks,” he said, “Come on Libby.”

He put the books we don’t need away and then packed up our stuff before walking down the hall towards the entrance to Dumbledore’s office. My stomach twisted as I remembered the last time I had walked down these halls towards Professor Dumbeldore’s office. There was grave news last time. Will this news be just as grave? Was it something to do with my Uncle? Why would Sirius have to come along for that? I grabbed Sirius’s hand and he squeezed it.

We said the password and began to go up the steps. Sirius knocked on the door twice and Dumbledore gave us the word to enter. I surprised to see Sandra Potter, who was released from the hospital some time ago, and my Aunt seated in front of Dumbledore looking stressed. They seem to be reflecting over something Dumbledore had been say, but smiled when Sirius and I entered.

“Libby, Sirius, take a seat,” Dumbledore said, again surprising me with the use of our first names. Two fluffy armchairs appeared between my aunt and Sandra and we sat, I looked at my aunt suspiciously.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asked.

“There is something I wished to discuss with you two,” Dumbledore said, “I should have discussed it with you two months ago when your relationship started out, but I did not and because of that, Kirsten is dead.”

“Wait,” I said, “What?”

“I have asked Sandra and Becky to join us,” Dumbledore went on as if no one stopped him, “Because Becky is your guardian, Libby, and I am sure, Sirius, that your mother would not answer my summons for you no matter what the case and since Sandra considers you her son, she is sitting here, as well.

“Now, you both are staring at me with confusion as to why I had brought you here. It has come to my attention that a second prophecy has been made. One that triggered Kirsten’s unfortunate death. This has also put you both in even graver danger then I had thought and I feel it is finally time to tell you the second prophecy.” Dumbledore looked at both Sirius and me for a moment.

“A second prophecy?” Sirius repeated.


“And you’re going to tell us?”

“In a moment. Yes.”

“But we don’t even know the first one.”

Silence filled the room. Dumbledore looked at me and I nodded in agreement with Sirius. The old professor then looked over at my Aunt, who bowed her head. By now I was incredibly confused and I knew it was only the beginning of the conversation. I looked at Sirius and he just looked at me. His grey eyes showed the confusion and wonder that showed on my face.

“They don’t know?” Dumbledore asked.

“I didn’t think Sirius Black would be the one Libby ends up spending her whole life with!” Aunt Becky said, “And then I just couldn't bring myself to tell her. She’s only sixteen. Sirius is only sixteen. They’re so young to be so in love.”

“But, alas, they are,” Dumbledore said. He looked at me and Sirius, “What did the sorting hat say to you both in first year?”

“It told me that it can’t interfere with fate,” I said, recalling the haunting phrase that hadn’t left me alone since Sirius and I first kissed.

“It told me I was destined to love someone, but it would painful for me,” Sirius shrugged. I felt myself flush a little as my Aunt looked at me and Sandra Potter smiled a bit.

“We’ll start with you, Sirius,” Dumbledore nodded, “It is a bit obvious now, that Libby is the one you are destined to love. But the pain has yet to arrive.” A worried look crossed Sirius’s face as he looked at me, “The first prophecy covers that. It is horrible to think about, but I don’t think that you will run into this problem for many years to come. I suggest you move on in life, for there is no way to keep a prophecy from coming true. I’m sorry.”

“Sir, can we hear the prophecy?” Sirius asked. I reached for his hand without thinking and he squeezed it.

“Yes, you can,” Dumbledore stood and moved over to his desk. He pulled out a pensive and I watched as he moved it over to his table. He set it on his desk and then took out his wand. He raised it to his temple and pulled out a thought, letting it drop into the pensive. The silvery substance swirled and then Dumbledore looked up, “After you two,” he said. Sirius let me go first. I dived head first into the pensive and Dumbledore and Sirius soon joined me. Sirius grabbed my hand again.

We were standing in a dirty room. There was a bed in the corner, unmade and moth eaten. The bedside table was being propped up by a thick book, bit was still leaning to the side. The floor had a foul smell coming from it and my feet stuck as I shifted my weight. There was a foggy window on the wall farthest from them. No light streamed in, which told me it was night. I bit my lip when I say that the wall had a display of creepy type of drawings that looked like a four year old drew. Sirius pointed to the corner closet to us. A boy sat there, wearing nothing but a torn pair of trousers. He was rocking back and forth, muttering.

I looked at Dumbledore, but he was looking at the far wall, as if waiting for something. It wasn’t much longer until a Dumbledore about ten years younger was led into the room from the far wall that had just turned to a door. The woman that led him in was squat with a messy dress on. Her hair was pulled into a bun and she had a sweaty look to her.

“He’s in here, Professor,” the woman said, “He’s still muttering. I thought that you should listen to him.”

“Thank you, Hema,” Dumbledore said, his eyes were twinkling despite the kid in the corner of the room. He had looked up when the wall turned to a door and stopped rocking. I could see that if he weren’t so dirty, he wouldn’t have been bad looking. He could be no older then fourteen. The woman left and the door remained in the wall. Dumbledore looked at the boy who was staring at the Headmaster in fear.

“Hello, Blake,” Dumbledore said after a long time. The boy continued to stare. As soon as Dumbledore said his name, he went back to rocking and muttering, “What are you saying, Blake?”

The boy stopped rocking and stood. He was quite tall and I wondered if he was older then the fourteen years I had guessed. Blake became very still as he stared at Dumbledore. Then, quite suddenly, began to speak in a deep, husky voice that didn’t seem to belong to him.


The boy stood still for another few seconds and then collapsed onto the ground. He was twitching on the ground, muttering. I leaned forward to listen, but his voice was inaudible and we were suddenly back in Dumbledore’s office. I looked at Sirius was looking deep in thought from what he just saw and heard.

“What was wrong with him?” I whispered after a moment. My Aunt and Mrs. Potter looked up expectantly.

“Blake?” Dumbledore asked. I nodded and Dumbledore sighed, “Blake is a Seer, as you saw, but his visions are mainly of pain and torture and he knows what he says and actually feels the pain that he’s predicting. Sadly, that has driven him into madness. His prophecies are very accurate and quite useful for many. He was moved into a ward in St. Mungo’s a few weeks after my visit to him. There is no cure for Blake, for he has lost any grasp of his sanity that he might have had. We just listen to his prophecies and make him as comfortable as possible.”

“Poor guy,” I said, “How old is he?”

“He’ll be turning twenty-seven soon. Seers are very rare. It’s a shame that he has such an amazing gift that only works in one way,” Dumbledore bowed his head, then clasped his hands together and looked at Sirius, “Now, the prophecy he made. It is obvious that we are now entering the time of Darkness with little hope and love, just as Blake had said. We also know that Sirius is the traitor of the Noble House of Black, even if he isn’t exactly a ‘Blood’ traitor in many opinions.”

“But what of the part where I take the blame. That doesn’t make sense,” Sirius said coming out of his trance.

“Yes, it doesn’t. We understand that your lover, which is now obviously Libby, is going to change the path of Voldemort. Possibly. There could be another wizard out there. Whatever it is that you do, Libby, will obviously cause pain. Now, until I heard the second prophecy, I had thought that one of you would die or something worse would happen, like you are kept apart. You both already proven you belong together. Still, the blame part didn’t make sense, but this second prophecy, one that a spy heard for me, along with the ears of Voldemort, makes everything make a lot more sense. That spy lent me his memory so i can show it to you. Shall we?”

Dumbledore took out another memory. This one was stored in a vile. Dumbledore uncorked it and dumped the contents into the pensive. It swirled and then I dived in again, closely followed by Sirius and then Dumbledore. We were surrounded by Death Eaters and I had grabbed onto Sirius before I remembered it was only a memory.

The room was dark and cold. Torches were the only sources of lights and there were no windows. The Death Eaters, there had to be about four, were standing before a large chair. Voldemort himself was sitting in the chair. His ugly, snake like face was pointed towards a door on the other end of the chamber. His red eyes glaring from lack of patients. I shivered and Sirius pulled me closer, but I could feel how tense he had gotten. It was the first time either of us really laid eyes on the Dark Lord Voldemort. It was frightening.

“Bring her in,” the cold voice said. The doors burst open and two more Death Eaters entered, dragging a woman with long black hair. She was dressed in an evening gown and I couldn’t help but notice the long gash on her forehead, that was dripping blood into her face.

“We were trying to free her for a while when this happened,” Dumbledore said to us, “She was a very good Seer, though not a popular one.”

“Ramla,” Voldemort hissed, “How good of you to stop by. Willing to give up any information. I know you are just dying to.” As Voldemort spoke, the Seer seemed to get weaker. “Tell me. What is the Order of the Phoenix planning?”

“I don’t know! I’m a Seer and have very little skill in Legilimens.” Ramla said with as much power as she could. I gave her props. She stood tall and straight and proud.

“Yes, but you have very good Occlumens. Trained by Albus Dumbledore, I presume?” Voldemort said angrily, “Now be a good Seerer and tell me what the fool is doing.”

“I will ne—” Ramla suddenly went rigid. Her voice change and she said the following:


Ramla gasped and coughed. Voldemort was smiling a horrible, twisted smirk that made my stomach cringe. He raised his wand at the Seer who just sealed my fate.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it? Avada Kedavra,” Ramla fell to the ground, dead. I screamed in shock, having never seen anyone die like that. Yeah, I watched my mum stop breathing in her sleep hours after my brother was born. And then I watch my dad fade away as the months of him fighting cancer turned to years. Never had I seen a life taken like that. So easily with no way to stop it.

I rested my head on Sirius shoulder as we went back to Dumbledore’s office. Once I relaxed enough to sit down and breath properly, I looked at Dumbledore. I was still shaking, but I remembered how Ramla stood tall against the most fear wizard in the world.

“The prophecy is talking about me then?” I asked. Dumbledore nodded.

“The friend of a Mudblood, or I’d rather said Muggleborn, is Lily Evans, I assume. The sister of a friend, I believe to be James. And the lover of a traitor, I believe to be Sirius since, to his family and Voldemort, he is a traitor. I think that the Dark Lord might have made an error and accuse Kirsten of being the person in the prophecy. His spies only saw Kirsten kiss Sirius in the Great Hall during that Quidditch game a while back. And then they saw Kirsten hanging out with Lily Evans and didn’t think of the third thing. I am sure Kirsten never considered James a brother, as you do,” the Headmaster said. He looked at Mrs. Potter and then at my aunt. They were both listening intently.

“So it’s my fault Kirsten is gone?” I asked feeling tears burn in my eyes.

“No, not exactly. It was really the Death Eater’s mistake. And it’s good they screwed up because if they didn’t, the future would be a darker and much colder one then it will be now. Maybe, because you are still alive Libby, there will even be a savior for us to have hope.” Dumbledore explained.

I didn’t care what Dumbledore said. It sounded like it was my fault Kirsten was dead. If it weren’t for me, she would be alive. I doubt I would have gone off with just some random guy if I were in love with Sirius at the time. I might have still been alive. At least then Kirsten would have been able to still be happy. To have finished school. For her life to keep going.

I was getting to choked up. I wiped tears from my eyes and looked up at Dumbledore. I asked in a strong voice, “And I come up with a trick to make Voldemort’s path change?

“I believe so. Prophecies usually are so accurate. Usually, they can mean anything, but I am glad this one is. I am sure that you, Sirius, James, and Lily have a traitor in your midst,” Dumbledore said gravely. Sirius and I looked at one another.

“Like a friend?” Sirius gasped.

“Most likely,” Dumbledore nodded.

“Peter isn't smart enough to hide it from us,” Sirius muttered, “But Remus wouldn’t. . .not after all we did for him.”

“Sirius, don’t go accusing your best friends just yet. For all you know, it could be someone you don’t hang out with as often as you like, but do enjoy their company very much. Just be careful with who you choose to accuse,” Aunt Becky warned wisely, speaking for the first time since we arrived in the office. Dumbledore nodded his agreement. I bit my lip and Sirius was looking at his hands.

“Again, it said the lover will take the blame,” I said, changing the subject back to the prophecy.

“Yes. Whatever it is that you think of, Libby, I don’t think will work as well as you would have hoped. And some how, I don’t think you’ll remember any of it.” Dumbledore sighed, “The prophecy could mean something else. Like I said, they usually aren’t as accurate as these. We could be misjudging the words.”


“Mum?” James asked as Sandra Potter and Aunt Becky followed Sirius and me around the school. They were going to stay for dinner since they had traveled by the night bus, not wanting to attract any questions from the Floo Network.

“James, how are you?” Sandra asked hugging her son, “You’ve been behaving, right?”

“Of course I have!” James grinned. Sirius coughed loudly.

We had just gotten out of Dumbledore’s office. The discussion had taken all afternoon. I didn’t have a full grasp on the prophecies, but I now knew that Sirius and I had mistaken what the Sorting Hat told us. Even though we are meant to love one another, we weren’t destined to stay together either. And there was more pain on the way, according to Sirius’s prophecy. The whole thing had made my head hurt.

Dumbledore had warned Sirius and me not to tell our friends. He told us to forget about the prophecies until the time is right to think of them again. It is the only way to work things out. If we fret over it now, we might end up making things worse. This angered me. Why would Dumbledore show me and Sirius prophecies if they’re just going to cause us problems?

“What are you guys doing here?” my brother gasped. He was walking by us with a girl and Will. I figured this girl to be his little girlfriend. How cute.

“Oh, meeting with Dumbledore about Libby and Sirius,” Aunt Becky said grinning. Lily and James gave us a curious look. I wanted to tell them so bad how Dumbledore had just taken our lives, that we were happy with despite Kirsten and Mr. Potter being gone, and turned them around so we fear what will happen to us in the future. Yet, as I opened my mouth, Sirius spoke over me.

“It’s nothing to important,” he said to them.

Jacob walked around with us as Sirius and I showed Sandra and Aunt Becky around the school once more. James and Lily came along, too, and Remus and Peter joined us shortly afterwards. It was amazing how much Sandra and Becky had forgotten about the school. Each time we turned down another corridor, they were smile and begin taking a walk down memory lane.

“Remember when Jessica had a crush on that Hufflepuff in her seventh year?” Sandra laughed, I listened as they brought up my mother once more, “We were walking right down this corridor when she saw him.”

“Oh yeah, and she was wearing my new heels in hopes of getting his attention?” Aunt Becky laughed, “And she went waltzing down the hall, swinging her hips, but the Hufflepuff didn’t see her, though everyone else was paying attention!”

“Any then she tripped on a dropped quill and falls flat on her face right at his feet!” Sandra finished laughing. I found myself smiling, too, and Sirius and James were giving each other looks. So many girls had made fools of themselves trying to get their attention.

“She was so mad at me for laughing, saying that little sisters don’t make fun of their older sisters. They stick up for them,” Aunt Becky smiled, “The Hufflepuff was very kind about it though. Remember how happy Jess was when he asked her out. Oh, she was so upset when they broke up a few months later.”

“Then she met Devon,” Sandra smiled. I looked up at my father’s name. I knew my parents had met one another at a young age and gotten married only a few months later, but I rarely heard much about them. Not since I started Hogwarts.

“And she was gone,” Aunt Becky smiled, “No one could talk any sense into her she was so in love. All she did was think about him.”

“Kinda like Libby is with Sirius,” James teased laughing at me. I glared at James and stuck my tongue out at him.

“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with that,” Sirius said laughing and pulling me closer to him.

“Of course not,” Sandra said seriously, “Love is important in the world. Without it, there’s nothing left to live for.”

Everyone agreed, but I wondered.

Mum and Dad were in love. They died. They were separated from one another. John and Sandra Potter were in love. John is dead. He and his wife are separated until she joins him. Sirius and I are in love and we’re going to suffer in the future. Are James and Lily going to suffer, too? Love is so strong and once you find it you can’t go back. But it seems that all those who are in love, are separated and their time together is cut short. Will that happen to Sirius and me? Will James and Lily really be together for always?

Without love, there isn’t anything to live for, but what happens when your love dies. When your love is taken away from you forever?

My Aunt and Sandra ate dinner in the Great Hall. Girls were eyeing James and Sirius, but they didn’t dare pass by and say hello as they usually would. It would be embarrassing for them to come up to James’s mother and everyone knew that Sirius was now living with James.

They left about twenty minutes after dinner was over after talking with teachers. I was sad to see my Aunt go, but she promised to tell us if there was any change in Uncle Scott. She hugged Jacob and me tightly and then left. Jacob ran off to find his friends leaving James, Sirius, Lily, Remus, Peter, and me in the hall to walk up to the Gryffindor tower together. Sirius and I hung back.

“Are you okay?” he asked me. I looked up at him.

“Yeah, of course I am,” I smiled weakly.

“Even after what we heard?” Sirius put and arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him so we staggered off to the side a little.

“It’s still processing,” I sighed, “Just to think that everything can change because of me. What can I possibly do? I mean, come on, I’m not some brilliant witch like Lily is. I’m not extremely talented like you or James are. Geez, I don’t think I can even lie that great! How can I trick the most feared man in the world?”

“Dumbledore said not to worry about it till the time is right,” Sirius said, kissing my forehead.

“I know, but what does he expect me to do?” I snapped.

“Relax and spend the last few months of Hogwarts focusing on learning to Apperate,” Sirius suggested. We had our first apperation lesson mid-January and a few more since then, “Oh, and my birthday is coming up soon, so you have to focus on what to get me, too!”

“Well, what do you want?” I asked remembering what a difficult time I had at Christmas. I hadn’t asked Sirius then.

“Not sure,” Sirius shrugged, “I mean, I’ve got you already.”

“Oh, don’t be corny now,” I laughed. Sirius tickled me and I jumped away from him giggling. Sirius pulled me towards him from behind and buried his face in my neck.

“Seriously,” he whispered, “I don’t need anything else.”

A/N: Who went around their neighborhood and knocked on strange people's door for free candy? I did! Except everyone was already outside sitting in their driveways. . .anyways, my Halloween was great! And I discovered that I really don't mind eating lunch by myself at school everyday! It's actually very nice! lol.

Anyways, Yeah, this chapter really sets the plot for what's to come with what JK Rowling has written for us, as you can see. But how will things really play out?? Trust me, it's a bit of a twist. I think. . .

Obviously, I'm making up for my short, rushed author's note from last chapter. my mom was like, poking her head in my room every five minutes to make sure i was going to bed and then yelling at me when she saw i was still on the computer. It's hard though! You guys are so awesome that it takes over an hour to check my reviews! lol! I love it, keep it up!!

Now, for you're little something from chp. 20(already!) Party Up:

“I didn’t mean that,” I said, a bit awkwardly. Sirius raised and eye brow as he looked down at me.

“What did you mean?” he asked.

“Our lives together,” I said.

“You mean. . .like marriage?” Sirius looked a bit weak. I smiled.

“We’re still only sixteen,” I laughed, “I was just curious.”

I began to descend the stairs. My heart was beating in my chest, but I was still
smiling. Sirius had proven that he was ready to commit himself to me. I felt guilty for even thinking about mentioning marriage so suddenly.

“Hey, Libby,” Sirius said making me stop and turn around. Sirius was smiling, “Why wouldn’t we get married?”

There's a bit more of Sirius' pov in the next chapter. And i believe there is another scene where Ben gets beat up. . .i think. Yup. Just checked. haha.

Can you guys believe it? After next chapter, we have only. . .ten more chapters. How sad. :( But then you have my other SIrius/OC to look forward to AND the sequel. If you come back for the sequel. Some people don't always return. :D

ANyways, this note is long enough, so please keep being fantastic and leave a review since you are so great! love you all!

Chapter 20: Party Up
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything you love and recgonize is borrowed from JKR. Everything you love(just kidding) and don't recgonize is mine. Lyrics are Hilary Duff.

Chapter Twenty
Party Up

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
(before she died)
I didn't see this coming
Why don't you start me up?
There's no more messin' around
(Come on and light me up)
This could be the start of something
Why don't you party-up
Time for you to come on down

--Hilary Duff "Party Up"

I couldn’t sleep that night and when I didn’t finally doze off, I would have nightmares of Voldemort killing Sirius and leaving me alone for the rest of my life. After hours of twisting and turning and not getting comfortable, I climbed out of bed. Lily was sound asleep, her bed hangings pulled shut tightly. The twins, who have been considerably nicer since Kirsten was found dead, were snoring loudly behind their own hangings. As quietly as I could, I tiptoed across the room.

Shutting the door, I went down the stairs to the girls’ dormitories and started up the boys. I didn’t bother knocking. It was two in the morning. Why the boys be awake for any reason other then the full moon? I opened the door and slipped inside. Peter was snoring louder then the Orrin twins from behind his hanging. James’s had his hangings open, revealing him stretched out on the mattress with his mouth hanging open. Remus had his hangings shut, but all was silent on the other end. Frank also had his hangings shut. Sirius had his open.

I jumped to find that he wasn’t in his bed. He was standing by the window looking out into the crescent moon. I walked up to him and he glanced at me smiling slightly. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and rested his chin on my head as we stared into the night outside the Gryffindor tower.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Sirius finally asked.

“We have a lot to think about no matter what Dumbledore said,” I replied.

“That’s true,” Sirius yawned, “I keep thinking I’m going to lose you.”

“Same here.” I whispered.

We stood by the window for a while longer. We both yawned a few more times before Sirius led me back towards his bed. We crawled in between the sheets and Sirius shut his hangings so we couldn’t see the moon or anyone else. This made me relax. Sirius was next to me and I was safe with him. I knew I was no matter what. So, I shut my eyes and leaned into him. His breath tickled my hair as he pulled me closer to him, out legs tangling together.

“I’m not letting you go,” he said quietly.

“And I’m not going to leave,” I replied and snuggled closer to him. Finally, I fell asleep.

I don’t know when I feel asleep, but when I did, my nightmares went away and I slept peacefully without anymore worries. I didn’t wake up again and dreamed of Sirius and me always being together and happy. With a war brewing ahead, I hoped that my dreams would become reality. Not my nightmares.

When I woke up, it wasn’t to James shaking me awake to get back to my dormitory so we could get to classes on time and eat a good breakfast. Nor was it to Sirius telling me that people would wonder why I was coming out of the boys dormitory so early in the morning. Instead, I awoke to the loud bang of the door slamming open and hitting the wall. I was still dozing, but I heard voices.

“James! James, I can’t find Libby. She’s not in her bed!” the voice belonged to Libby, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up as I rolled over to see Sirius trying to fall back to sleep next to me.

“She’s not?” I heard James mumble.

“Lily, we could sleep another thirty minutes,” I heard Remus’s muffled voice snap. It sounded far away.

“Sirius?” James called sleepily.

“I’m sleeping,” Sirius mumbled loudly.

“Is Libby with you?” James asked. Sirius didn’t answer. I wished he did, or that I had said something, because Lily pulled open the hangings allowing bight sunlight to blind my tired eyes.

“Lily, it’s early,” I muttered pulling the blankets over my head, and Sirius’s.

“Libby! What are you doing in here? Girls aren’t allowed in boys dormitories let alone sleep in them!” Lily gasped, “What if a Professor found you?”

“Oh please, Lily,” James said, “It’s not like she’s not in here almost every night. She’s never gotten caught and even if she did, it’s not like they’re doing anything.”

“Libby! Every night?” Lily gasped pulling the covers down, blinding me and Sirius once more. He groaned and pulled his pillow over his head.

“Almost,” I corrected pulling the blankets back up and moving closer to Sirius. Lily looked at me like she’s never seen me before and I muttered, “I can’t sleep sometimes.”

“So you sneak into bed with Sirius?!” Lily shouted.

“Keep your voice down, Lils,” Remus said opening his hangings, “Someone might hear and you’re making it sound like they were doing something.”

“You three have no problem with this?” Lily asked looking from Peter, who had pulled his hangings open, to James to Remus and back again.

“Not really. Sirius seems to be sleeping better with it, as does Libby,” Remus shrugged, stretching and standing to go to the bathroom.

“As long as they don’t keep me awake, I’m fine with it,” Peter squeaked as he dug in his trunk for some clothes.

“Lily, we can’t force them to sleep in separate rooms,” James said walking over to Lily, “I mean, they’re more in love with one another then I had ever thought possible. Telling them to sleep in their own beds is like telling them to cut off their legs. And as Remus said, they both are sleeping better.”

“Thank you, James!” Sirius said raising an arm in the air before letting it drop back down again.

“I still don’t like it,” Lily said more to James then me and Sirius.

“I didn’t at first, either, but trust me, after almost a full week of it, you get used to it,” James assured her. Lily stayed silent and I heard her leave a few moments later.

Sirius and me stayed in bed while the other three dressed and showered for the day. I had closed the hangings back over so I wouldn’t accidentally open my eyes and see a part of the Marauders that I didn’t want to see. Yet, we couldn’t sleep forever and James pulled the hangings back over after about an half hour.

“Wake up, guys, it’s Monday.” James said before leaving me and Sirius alone in the dormitory. I opened my eyes and turned towards Sirius who had taken his head out from his pillow.

“Guess we better get up,” Sirius muttered sitting up. He looked at me and smile, “You’re gorgeous, you know that?”

“Only when I’m around you,” I replied and swung my legs over the bed. I crossed the room to leave so Sirius could get ready, but stopped and turned around, “What do you think will happen in the future. To us, I mean,” I asked. Sirius looked up at me surprised.

“Libby,” he said walking over to me and wrapping me into a hug, “I will never stop loving you, okay? We’re going to get through this suffering the prophecy told us about. Okay? We’re going to be together for as long as forever and I will not stop loving you once along the way.”

“I didn’t mean that,” I said, a bit awkwardly. Sirius raised and eye brow as he looked down at me.

“What did you mean?” he asked.

“Our lives together,” I said.

“You mean. . .like marriage?” Sirius looked a bit weak. I smiled.

“We’re still only sixteen,” I laughed, “I was just curious.”

I began to descend the stairs. My heart was beating in my chest, but I was still smiling. Sirius had proven that he was ready to commit himself to me. I felt guilty for even thinking about mentioning marriage so suddenly.

“Hey, Libby,” Sirius said making me stop and turn around. Sirius was smiling, “Why wouldn’t we get married?”


I watched Libby walk off down the stairs in a daze. She was really the love of my life and it pained me to see her so distracted by the prophecies. I knew that I couldn’t let her see how troubled I was from them. I had to act strong, for the both of us, like I was actually taking Dumbledore’s advice and forgetting about the prophecy until the time is right.

I went back into my dormitory and opened my trunk. Pulling out my uniform and robes I changed, not bothering with a shower. I took on the night before trying to relax. It completely failed. Standing under the boiling hot water did nothing but make me bored. Even reading the back of all my shampoo bottles did nothing. And I have a lot. Trust me.

Once I was dressed with clean teeth, I went downstairs. Libby wasn’t down yet. I expected as much. James and Lily were sitting on the couch in front of the fire. They were talking quietly, but cut themselves short when they saw me heading towards them. They were talking about me. And most likely Libby, too.

“Hey.” I said, sitting down on the ground, leaning up against the couch. I stretched my legs out in front of me and crossed them at the ankles.

“Hey, Padfoot.” James said. Then, with a look at Lily, asked, “Is everything okay? Between you and Libby, I mean.”

“We’re great,” I said honestly.

“Well, is there something else? You both seem sort of distant since that meeting with Dumbledore yesterday.” Lily spoke up. I turned to look at them. They both honestly looked concerned. Not at all nosy.

“I can’t tell you,” I said, though I desperately wanted to, “Not without you two worrying. Libby and I are dealing with it. It just needs to sink in.”

“Padfoot, come on. We are worrying even more without knowing!” James said looking at me seriously.

“Dumbledore said not to,” I shrugged. Libby came bounding down the stairs then. Her curls bouncing around her face. My breath caught just looking at her. She spotted us and made her way over. Just watching her move made my heart start beating faster. I couldn’t help but flash her a smile, which she returned.

“Hi guys,” she said and sat on the floor with me. She planted a quick kiss on my lips before frowning at Lily and James’s concern faces, “What’s wrong?”

“They want to know what happened in Dumbledore’s office yesterday,” I said pulling her closer to me. My body began to tingle with the warmth of her against me.

“Can’t tell you that,” Libby said looking sorry, “It was a confidential meeting between me, Sirius, and Dumbledore. You’ll find out someday though,” Libby stood up, pulling me with her and began to lead me out of the common room, “I’m starving, let’s go eat.”

With a grin at Lily and James, Libby and I left the common room. As we walked down the hall, we giggled and fooled around. Twice Libby managed to shoved me into the wall by ramming into my shoulder. After the second time, I threw Libby over my shoulder and walked down the forth floor corridor. Once I put her down, she acted all mad, walking ahead of me. I chased after he at a run. Pulling her around the waist and holding her close as she doubled over to get away. We were laughing so hard that I almost dropped her as I lifted her off her feet and swung her around.

“What a precious sight,” a voice sneered. I put Libby down and we stood up straighter, but I didn’t release my hold on her.

“What do you want?” I asked coldly.

“Revenge, of course,” Ben Carlson said. He was leaning against the rail on the staircase Libby and I have gotten dangerously close to.

“Revenge?” Libby scoffed, “What are we in a soap opera?”

“Funny Libby. Very funny,” Carlson muttered darkly. But he flushed scarlet all the same and I had to let out a laughed.

“Humor me, Carlson,” I said, “What do you want to avenge?”

“Myself, of course, Black. You have taken away Libby and then you punch me. I’m not going to let that go unnoticed. My friends thought it was the funniest thing. And I don’t like to be laughed at.” Carlson growled. I pointed a finger at Carlson and threw my head back laughing.

“Sirius, stop it,” Libby hissed, pulling my arm down.

“Might want to listen to her, Black.” Carlson warned, pulling out his wand. I raised an eyebrow.

“I’m not scared of you. We both know I can crush you in an instant, so why waste your time?” I asked, eyeing his wand while slipping my hand into my pocket for my own. I gripped the handle tightly.

“Because this time, I’m going to win.
Expelliarmus!” Carlson shouted the spell and my wand went flying out of my hand. I was surprised by this, but quickly lunged toward Carlson, bringing him down. Both my wand and his wand clattered the floor below us as we tumbled down the stairs.

“Sirius!” I heard Libby cry, but I wasn’t paying attention. No one disarms Sirius Black. No one.

I felt Carlson’s blows in my stomach and, every so often, my face. He was putting up a much better fight then he did a week ago and this pleased me. Yet, I was still winning. I was still hitting my target more then Ben hit me. We struggled at the bottom of the stairs and I heard Libby crying for me to stop. I heard other voices, too, and just as I was about to meet my fist with Carlson’s head, someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me off and back. I struggled for a moment before I realized it was James that had such a firm hold on me. Remus had grabbed Carlson.

“What is going on here?” Professor Mcgonagall asked. She was holding a stack of book in her arms and looking between me and Carlson with her stern, angry eyes.

Neither of us said anything. Carlson’s eye was already bruising, again, and his lip was split. He had blood steadily dripping from his nose. I knew I was in better shape. I could feel blood dripping from my own nose, but that was it. I had a few lumps, but nothing horrible, like Carlson. I, once again, kicked his arse. Looking around, I saw many students had circled around to watch the fight. I smirked.

“Black started it!” Carlson finally accused. My anger flared as I looked back at him.

“You pulled out your wand first!” I snapped.

“But you hit me first!” Carlson argued.

“What are we, two?” I asked.

“I don’t know what Libby sees in you.” Carlson ignored my question and looked sideways at Libby, “She thinks I hurt her. You’re going to hurt her even worse.”

“The day I hurt Libby is the day I’m sent to Azkaban for services to Voldemort!” I shouted, straining against James’s hold on me. People gasped as I said the name, but I could careless.

“Both of you, be quiet!” Mcgonagall snapped, “This type of behavior is not to be tolerated. Twenty points from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw and detention. If I ever see either one of you fighting like that again, punishment will be much worse!”

Carlson pulled himself out of Remus’s hold and pushed his way through the small crowd. He picked up his wand and disappeared from view. Libby was suddenly by my side. She hugged me and summoned my wand over to her. She handed it to me before stopping my bleeding nose and cleaning my face up. I thanked her and we continued our way to the Great Hall.


I ducked from a Bludger’s wrath and tossed the Quaffle to Frank Longbottom. He caught it and sped forward. I stayed back incase Slytherin got the Quaffle. James flew along Frank’s right, ready to be of assistance if need be.

It was mid-March already. As of now, I was in the middle of the infamous Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch match. We were going for the Cup. So far, Gryffindor was in the lead 120-100. The game had been a tough one. I was bruised from the many times the Slytherins had run into me and we’ve made most of our points from fouls. Darcy and Sirius were hitting bludgers every which way towards Slytherins and our Keeper, Nelson Jones, was doing an excellent job, even if he had let ten shots in. We have been playing for about three hours, so that seemed normal. Our Seeker, Drew Murphy, was high in the sky searching for the Snitch. He saw it twice, but it had gotten away thanks to the Slytherins.

Frankly, I was getting tired. As always when it came to the Slytherins, I played hard. My energy was high, but it was draining more and more each minute. Drew better find that Snitch soon. My stomach growled. Sirius and I had slept in, even though James woke us both up, and didn’t have time for breakfast. James would have killed us if we weren’t there for his pep talk.

I had stopped listening to the announcer long ago. I was in the middle of what was happening. I didn’t have to listen to it be repeated. Frank scored another ten points and I pumped my fist in the air with joy before looking at back at Drew. He was flying high and searching hard for the Snitch.

Just in time, I turned my attention back to the game. I dived underneath the Slytherin chaser in possession of the Quaffle, ready to catch it if he dropped it. We were nearing the Gryffindor end of the Pitch. I pulled back slightly and James went forward. The play was an easy one, but often worked if the opposing team didn’t score a point. They didn’t.

James tossed the Quaffle ahead towards me. I caught it and flew at high speed to the other end, almost getting hit in the head with Sirius’s Beater’s bat as I flew past. James and Frank were behind me. This goal was my own. James and Frank weren’t around to help me. I flew faster and swerved to avoid a Slytherin. I threw the Quaffle into the left hoop. It went right in. 130-100 to Gryffindor. I cheered and high fived Sirius as I flew past.

We were lovers off the pitch and team mates on the pitch.

There was a sudden scream from the Gryffindor side of the stands and everyone turned to see that Drew Murphy was in a deep drive, his right hand stretched out in front of him. Thirty seconds later, he pulled out of the dive, his hand in the air gripping the tiny Golden Snitch.

“And Gryffindor wins the Cup!” the announcer screamed. I collided with the rest of the Gryffindor team as we joined in a group hug. I felt Sirius come up behind me, almost knocking the wind out of me. We were all patting Murphy on the back because once again, he didn’t let us down.

We descended to the ground where the rest of the house had gathered and joined in an even bigger group hug. Once everyone began hugging individually, I turned to Sirius who was smiling widely at me. He leaned forward swiftly and kissed me deeply and lovingly. We usually didn’t kiss like this in public. But now, we were to happy about winning to care and I knew as Sirius deepened the kiss, my hand’s wrapping around his neck, one hand still clinging to my broom, that people were watching us with envious looks.

“PARTY IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM!” I heard James yell as Sirius and I pulled away, smiling once more. The crowd began to move towards the Common Room. The team being carried away to the locker rooms.


I had changed into my camouflage skirt and my Avenge Sevenfold(love them!) band t-shirt. I had on black flats and my hair was bouncing around my face. Sirius was dressed in those jeans that fit him so well and a plain white t-shirt that showed of his strong arms and chest. Together, we danced in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, partying the night away and trying to forget that the threat of Voldemort has gotten a lot stronger since Christmas. We tried to ignore the fact that we’ll never see Kirsten or Mr. Potter again. And we tried to dismiss from the mind that we have destinies that will cause us suffering.

And the partying worked.

Of course, I didn’t drink so much I’d get drunk and even though Sirius drank a lot more then me, he didn’t get so drunk that he couldn’t walk in a semi-straight line. I knew he was scared that something like the Christmas party would happen and he didn’t want to have a hangover for that.

James and Lily were snogging on the couch. They weren’t drinking as much either, which I was glad about. They were doing the same thing Sirius and I were doing. After dancing, they had collapsed on the couch and then one thing led to another. I had watched them for a moment before Sirius dragged me out to the dance floor.

Like at my birthday party, Sirius was leading me making me feel more confident on the floor. I didn’t feel like a fool whenever I was around Sirius. We were laughing and didn’t care who was watching us. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup. We beat Slytherin. It was time to celebrate.

“Oi! Sirius!” Remus said, pushing threw the throng of Gryffindors towards us.

“Yeah?” Sirius asked, still dancing.

“Have you see Peter?” Remus yelled, “He’s not on the map and I haven’t seen him since the match. It’s making me uneasy.”

“Haven’t seen him at all,” Sirius shouted in reply. Remus looked at me and I just shrugged and shook my head. I was paying more attention to James and Lily sneaking up the stairs to the boys dormitory. I had to smirk and Sirius followed my gaze and laughed, “They don’t waste time, do they?”

“At least he’s getting some,” I laughed, playfully poking him in the ribs. Sirius pulled me closer to him, kissing me softly and then leading me off the dance floor. We grabbed a butterbeer to share and sat on the couch. A slow song had come on and people were blushing while asking the other for a dance.

“I love you,” Sirius said quite randomly. I knew he did, but it’s been a while since he’s said it and at such an odd moment. I looked up at him, surprised.

“I love you, too, Sirius,” I replied. Sirius shook his head.

“No, I say it, but I’m not sure if you know how much I mean it,” he said, leaning close to me so we could hear each other better without yelling, “With everything going on, I really want you to know; I love you.”
“James told me you have since 4th year,” I smiled. Sirius frowned, then chuckled.

“Did he?”

“When he was trying to talk me into going out with you,” I grinned, then grew serious, “I do know how much you mean it when you say it, Sirius,” I explained, “I know because I feel just as strongly as you. Sometimes I feel like love is an understatement.”

“That it is, love,” Sirius muttered kissing me quickly.

Professor Mcgonagall came into the common room after two in the morning telling us all to get to bed. James and Lily had returned, all smiles, and we all sat in the common room till it completely emptied. Remus and Peter went to bed shortly afterwards. Then Lily, kissing James intensely. The three of us, James, Sirius, and me talked quietly for a few moments then sat in silence.

“So Prongs, what did you and Lily all the time up in the dormitory?” Sirius asked after a few moments. James blushed scarlet and we snickered.

“Hey, we didn’t do anything. Though we did get close.” James snapped. Sirius and I snickered and I cuddled closer to Sirius. He tightened his arms around me and kissed his forehead. James watched us, smiling slightly.

“You two really love each other, don’t you?” James asked.

“You just noticed this?” Sirius laughed.

“No, I mean, I knew it, but thinking about it now I really see how much you two care for each other.” James smiled. Sirius and I looked at one another and James explained, “You both can sleep in the same bed every night and not do anything. If that were me and Lily, I don’t think I could contain myself. You guys barely fight and you never leave each other’s sights. It’s amazing really. I didn’t think love like that existed. I’m sort of jealous things aren’t like that with me and Lily.”

“Don’t you love Lily?” I asked, suddenly worried for Lily’s heart.

“Of course I do. I have loved her since forever. We might have a future together with the way things are going. But you two. . .it’s like for sure you two are going to even die together,” James said. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Maybe, James,” Sirius laughed.

A few minutes afterwards, I changed into my pajamas and snuck into the boys dormitory without even trying to sleep in my own bed. I needed to be near Sirius tonight. I opened the door and slipped inside. All four boys were still up. Sirius smiled when he saw me as the three others boys rolled their eyes. Frank could be heard snoring from behind his hangings already.

“See, you guys can’t be away from one another for more then fifteen minutes,” James laughed.

“Want me to get Lily, James?” I teased as I sat on Sirius’s bed. James laughed and Sirius climbed onto his bed bedside me and hugged me from behind.

“Good night, then” Peter said, and shut his hangings. I hadn’t seen much of him these past few weeks. Remus bade us all a good night as well before shutting his own hangings. James never seemed to close his hangings because he just laid down after saying goodnight.

I crawled into bed beside Sirius and huddled against him. He didn’t bother closing his hangings tonight either, so that gave me full view of everything in the room. I smiled and shut my eyes, falling into a deep sleep almost instantly.

I was running through the Forbidden Forest. Something was chasing me and I was being led away from it by a black dog I kept calling Snuffles. I called out to it, but the dog was running to fast for me. I was falling behind and whatever was chasing me was getting closer.

Suddenly, I was falling. I was falling threw a clock. This confused me greatly, but the ticking was so loud in my ears that I winced and my confusion was forgotten. I landed on my feet like a cat. Sirius was there, he held me close and then broke away before speaking.

“Go, Libby. I’ll go in your place!” he said, his voice far away and echoing.

“But I love you!” I screamed.

“It’s part of our pain,” Sirius replied and then went flying up the clock to take the blame. I tried to run after him, pushing the walls and trying to climb up. And then-–

“Libby, wake up!” someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes to see Sirius looking over me, our legs still tangled together. I was shocked to see James, Remus, and Professor Mcgonagall all looking at me with concern. I stared at them all for a moment before sitting up.

“I’m going to ignore the fact that you’re in bed with Mr. Black,” Mcgonagall said sternly, “And ask if you are okay, instead”

“Bad dream,” I said simply, “It’s fine.”

“Good, now I’m going to pay attention to the fact that we’re in a boys dormitory and take twenty points from Gryffindor for being in bed with Mr. Black,” Mcgonagall said. I looked at her in disbelief, but didn’t argue. I was caught.

“I would say sorry, but I’m not,” I said honestly.

“I know you aren’t,” Mcgonagall said.

“What is it you came in here for, Professor,” James asked finally.

“Oh, Professor Dumbledore has to speak with Mr. Black. It’s important.” Mcgonagall said.

“What about?” Sirius asked, climbing out of bed and looking worried. My stomach twisted. I felt small in the big bed without him. It took Mcgonagall a moment to answer, but finally, she did.

“You’re family.”

A/N: This cliffie isn't THAT big a deal, but it is important.

So, before I give you the little something from chp. 21, I have to answer a question. A few people asked me about what era and POVs the sequel will be about. The sequel will take place from a little before Sirius escapes from Azkaban to the a little after the night he dies(so sad. poor Libby). The story will switch among Sirius', Libby's and a third character's POV. But I'm not telling you who. you're welcome to guess though. Hehe.

Now, for your little something from Chp. 21 Slipped Away(don't worry, no one important (coughunclescottcough) will die. SOmeone else does)

“Morning to you, too,” I yawned, then remembering Christmas, I laughed and added, “How is Snuffles this morning?”

Sirius’s tail stopped wagging and he cocked his head to one side before turning back into his regular self. I was smirking.

“You didn’t just call me ‘Snuffles’” he said.

“Oh, yes I did,” I taunted.

“That’s not manly!” Sirius laughed and then lunged forward onto the bed and started tickling me. I laughed and curled up, trying to escape his tickling fingers.

“Stop!” I protested, then laughing harder, “Please, Snuffles, stop!”

“Snuffles wants to play!” Sirius said and suddenly the black dog was back lick me on the face all over. I laughed and pushed him off me.

Oh, and it's Sirius' birthday in a few chpters! lol. I like his present a lot.

Some of you have been asking about my other Sirius/OC. Guess what? It's already up! It's called Pretty Girl and can be found on my Author's Page (where else?) Please, read and review.

Thanks so much for all the reads and revewis(over 900!!) I didn't think this story would do this good. I was thinking like 300-500 like my other stories. You guys are amazing! Thanks so much. Keep it up!!

Love you all!! Mwah! Mwah!

Chapter 21: Slipped Away
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything you know belongs to JK Rowling Lyrics by Avril Lavigne.

Chapter Twenty-One
Slipped Away

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day i found
It won't be the same

--Avril Lavigne "Slipped Away"

The room was silent after Mcgonagall’s statement. Why would Dumbledore wish to speak with Sirius about his family. It was well known across the school from all the howlers he received in first and second year that everyone in his family hated him and believed him to be a blood traitor and a fool. Sirius had tensed where he stood and I wanted to go to him, but I was afraid Mcgonagall would get mad at me.

“My family?” Sirius repeated.

“Yes, Black, your family. Don’t bother getting dressed, this will only take a minute,” Mcgonagall began to leave the room.

“Wait, I’m coming,” I said, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and hurrying towards Sirius.

“Very well,” Mcgonagall sighed, but showing no sigh of objection, Sirius grabbed my hand and followed the Transfiguration teacher out.

The corridors were quiet and my feet were freezing against the hard floors. I hadn’t thought of putting on slippers on shoes and just left. Sirius had slid his feet into his shoes so he was comfortable. Twice he offered to go barefoot and me where his shoes, but I declined. We were almost to Dumbledore’s carpeted room anyways.

“I really need a pedicure,” I muttered looking at my toenails. They were getting to long and the paint I had put on the a week or two ago was beginning to chip. Sirius snorted.

“You’re such a girl,” he said.

“I’m not the one with twenty different conditioning and shampoo bottles in my shower,” I replied easily. Sirius had to smile, his cheeks flushing a bit.

“I care about healthy hair,” he said. I could have sworn I saw Mcgonagall’s lips twitched. Sirius asked, “How do you know about all that anyways?”

“James, of course,” I replied, “We tell each other almost everything. In summer after third year, I was telling him about Lily, since it’s one of his favorite topics to talk about. For some reason he started telling me about you. It was actually quite amusing, if you know what I mean.”

Sirius was about to reply, but we had arrived at Dumbledore’s office. Mcgonagall said the password, which had changed, and led us up the steps. We were silent as we knocked on Dumbledore’s door and entered. I felt Sirius stiffen beside me and his hand clutched mine tighter.

Dumbledore was standing and trying to have a pleasant conversation with Mr and Mrs. Black. Sirius’s parents. Bellatrix and Narcissa were there, too, along with Regulus, who smiled at us as he so often did in the halls. Luckily, no one saw this exchange. Slughorn was seated in a chair by Dumbledore’s desk and Mcgonagall went to stand next to him. I was now curious as to why Mcgonagall had gotten Sirius up at 5 in the morning to speak with his parents.

“I should have known Libby would come, too,” Dumbledore’s eye twinkled. He turned to Mcgonagall, “You weren’t to hard on them, were you?”

“They should be suspended,” Mcgonagall said, “Girls are not allowed in boys dormitories.” Bellatrix and Narcissa shared an evil look and smirked at us. I didn’t like the look and glanced at Sirius, who was glaring at his parents.

“Yes, but let’s deal with the more important matters,” Dumbledore suggested, “What is it that you have come so early to speak with your children and nieces about?”

“I don’t know how Sirius sleeping with a half-blood cannot be important,” Mrs. Black said in a snippy voice, “But we have some grave news.”

“Uncle Alphard has past away last night,” Mr. Black finished. He didn’t sound upset at all and it was from his side of the family.

“What?” Sirius gasped.

“And he left us nothing.” Mrs. Black continued, they seemed more upset about that, “Everything he owns now belongs to Sirius.”

“Me?” Sirius asked, looking shocked.

“Yes, you traitor,” Mrs. Black snapped, “He left you his small fortune, his house, his trinkets, his house elves, everything!

Sirius was biting his lip and looking dazed and a bit saddened. I wondered who this Uncle Alphard guy was and why he left everything to Sirius. A small smile tugged at my lips. Seems like not every Black believes Sirius is a blood traitor. I couldn’t help but snake my arm around his waist. He absent-mindedly wrapped one arm over my shoulders, glaring at his parents once more.

“I supposed you blasted him off the tapestry, too,” he said coldly. Mrs. Black’s eyes narrowed.

“He should have been blasted off the family tree long ago, just as you should have been,” she said darkly. I raised and eyebrow.

“You took your own flesh and blood off your family tree?” I heard Mcgonagall whisper. I was the only one close enough to hear. There was a surprised look in Dumbledore’s eye, too. Regulus was looking anywhere but at Sirius and his parents while everyone else, with the exception of a dozing Slughorn, was glaring at Sirius. He didn’t crack underneath the gazes, but stood taller.

“Is that all you wanted to tell us?” Sirius snarled.

“Yes, but now we have another matter to discuss,” Mr. Black said easily. He looked at me and then Sirius.

“Leave her out of it,” Sirius said, knowing exactly what they were going to say.

“I agree with Sirius,” Dumbledore said, “There is a reason for those two to be together. Let them. You’ve already disowned him and if you’ve taken him off the family tree, then he is nothing by a memory to you and you have no right to take the one thing that makes him happy away.”

An argument broke out them. Between Dumbledore and the Blacks. Of course, Dumbledore was calm and wise through the whole thing easily winning the argument. But I didn’t hear any of it because Mcgonagall ushered the five of us out into the hallway and to the Gargoyle not to let us back in to listen. Sirius took me by the hand and we started towards the Gryffindor common room.

“Sirius!” someone called. We didn’t stop until Bellatrix roughly pulled me back knowing she probably wouldn’t move Sirius. It hurt and I yelped in pain.

“Shove off Bellatrix,” Sirius snapped pulled me towards him protectively. We didn’t have our wands with us.

“Oh, that hurt,” his cousin pretended to pout, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you without this Mudblood-loving half blood around, but I see now that there is no point since you never leave one another side.”

“Talk to him, Bellatrix, or hex him?” I asked darkly. Sirius threw me a look, but I was to busy staring daggers at his cousin to notice.

“Leave them alone, Bella,” Regulus said coming up behind her with a smirking Narcissa.

“Shut up, Regulus.” Bellatrix rounded on him, “You’re still to naive to know what we’re talking about. Let the big kids talk and go run along and play.”

“Geez, Bellatrix,” Sirius said, frowning, “Lay off him a bit.”

“He sticks up for you way to much. It’s not right.” Narcissa answered before Bellatrix even opened her mouth.

“Now,” Bellatrix turned back to Sirius, “I don’t like how close you and Cullen are. Blacks don’t love like that. Love like that doesn’t even exist.”

“Well, obviously it does,” Regulus moved so he stood in front of me and Sirius, facing Bellatrix, “Now leave them alone. Just because you’re jealous that Sirius has something to live for besides the Dark Lord doesn’t mean you have to ruin it!”

Bellatrix stared at Regulus for a moment before saying, “You might want to check where your loyalties lie, Regulus. You don’t want a burn mark to symbolize your name on the tapestry, too, do you?”

She spun on her heels and left with Narcissa. I glared as they disappeared around the corner. Then, I looked at Sirius, who was still clinging to me protectively. Regulus was now facing us, looking pale and a bit worried about Bellatrix’s words. I felt bad for the guy, really. I don’t know what I would do if I had to choose between my parents and the way I was brought or my brother, who chose to go the opposite way and fight for good.

“Thanks, Reg,” Sirius said.

“Yeah, but now I have to deal with Mother and Father. Bellatrix isn’t going to let me get away with that.” Regulus said miserably.

“Don’t worry about it, just as long as you don’t let them get to you and join Voldemort, you’ll be fine.” Sirius smiled. I yawned, it was to early to wake up. Why Sirius’s parents decided to come to Hogwarts at five in the morning was beyond my knowledge. Sirius seemed to agree, “We’re going back to bed. Later, Reg.”

“Bye,” Regulus smiled. I had to smile as his two dimples appeared.

We went back up to the dormitory to find everyone was back to sleep. Sirius and I crawled back into his bed. Once comfortable, I looked up at him, smiling.

“Not everyone in your family hated you,” I whispered.

“Guess not,” Sirius smiled, “Shame Uncle Alphard died. He was my favorite Uncle. He was old though, and I rarely saw him. My parents always wondered when he would die. He has a lot of nice things in his house that you could make a fortune out of. That’s why his actual fortune is considered small. He was always spending it to bye something or donating stuff to the school or Ministry or St. Mungo’s.”

“You have a house now.” I said smiling. Sirius kissed me softly and laughed quietly.

“No, we have a house, love,” he said.


For the rest of the day I couldn’t help but notice that Sirius was a bit distracted. It was obvious it was because he was just left a bunch of money, a house, and a lot more from an Uncle that hadn’t thought Sirius to be a blood traitor.

I was packing up to leave in Defense Against the Dark Arts when the final bell of the day ended. It was the last class of the day and had been rather boring. We were taking notes on more non-verbal spells. I had my nonverbal stuff down, as did most of the class, so I really didn’t understand why we had to keep taking notes on them. It was tiresome.

I had just shoved my Defense text book into my bag, Sirius waiting by my desk, when Professor Humphrey came up to us. My stomach twisted as, for one horrible moment, the thought that Professor Dumbledore needs to tell me more bad news that will keep me awake at night. But I was getting paranoid now. I needed to relax because that wasn’t what my Defense teacher wanted.

“Can I speak with you for a minute?” she asked, she glanced at Sirius and smiled, “You can go on ahead Mr. Black, I promise she’ll come back to you.”

Sirius nodded and walked away, joining the other Marauders as they headed out the door to drop their bags off in the Gryffindor tower before heading down to dinner. Professor Humphrey went back behind her desk as the class slowly emptied. It seemed like a life time. Everything seemed like a life time without Sirius by my side. Once I was left alone with the young professor, she gestured for me to take a seat once more. I did so and looked at her expectantly.

“Professor Mcgonagall asked me to speak with you,” Professor Humphrey said, flashing her perfectly straight white teeth.

“If it’s about my sneaking into the boys dormitories every night, I swear me and Sirius don’t do anything. We just—”

“This isn’t about that,” Professor Humphrey laughed, pushing her black hair out of her face.

“Oh,” I blushed deeply and Professor Humphrey laughed again.

“I actually wanted to speak with you about your grade,” she said, suddenly becoming serious.

“What about it?” I asked nervously.

“You’re failing my class, Miss Cullen.” my professor announced grimly, “I know it’s hard with Kirsten’s passing and you’re uncle in the hospital. And then there is Sirius, too, but I do not want to see you repeating the course next year.”

“So, then how do I bring my grade up?” I asked, suddenly nervous and worried.

“I will give you an extra assignment. I usually do not assign extra credit, but with deaths and all, I’ve decided to make an exception. You will write a two foot essay on each of the three Unforgivable Curses. I will give you till next Friday to do them. That gives you a week. If the essays aren’t on my desk before dinner starts, then you have lost your chance.” Professor Humphrey explained.

“Two feet each!?” I gasped, “Professor, that’s six feet of parchment!”

“You have this choice or you can fail. It’s up to you,” she said shaking her head.

“But Sirius’s birthday is this week!” I complained, “What type of girlfriend am I if I’m to busy doing essays on his birthday?”

“Libby, I know where you’re coming from. I was infatuate with a guy in my years at Hogwarts, too,” Professor Humphrey smiled sadly, “I learned the hard way that I can’t focus my life on a guy because one day they will be gone. Just like that. Focus on your studies, Miss Cullen and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of time one way or another to celebrate Sirius’s birthday.”

She turned away, showing me the discussion was over. I walked away slowly and exited the classroom. Had she suggested that Sirius would one day walk out on me? Or was it something worse? Like death? My heart ached just thinking that I could lose Sirius so easily because of Voldemort. I bit my bottom lip and headed towards the common room to drop off my stuff and change for dinner. Then I better get started on those essays.

As I walked, I went over my plans in my head. Sirius’s birthday was Tuesday. Saturday, James was going to schedule a Quidditch practice and I was going to use the excuse to skip because of my homework load. Then, Remus, Lily and I were going to sneak into Hogsmeade to shop for Sirius. I had an idea of what to get him and I couldn’t help but be excited about it. I was pretty sure that Lily and Remus were clueless on what to get Sirius, so the Hogsmeade trip will take pretty much all day. I would have to do all my weekend homework that night so I have all of Sunday to work on at least one essay.

Tuesday I knew I was going to be busy. James and I were decorating the Gryffindor common room for his birthday. We were going to have a small party there, but I was going to give him his present in the morning, since that would be the best time if his reaction was going to be as I imagined it to be. I would have no time for homework then, so I would have to work extra hard on Wednesday and Thursday and probably on my breaks on Friday to finish my essays.

I said the password to the Fat Lady and walked in. I looked around and saw no Marauders or Lily. They must have already gone down to dinner. I went up to my dorm. I threw my bag down and noticed my bed looked a bit out of place, since no one was really sleeping in it. I was going to have to soon to keep an eye on Sirius’s present. But I needn’t worry about that now. I changed and went down to the Great Hall.

“Libby!” Sirius said as I entered the common room. He was coming down the stairs to the boy’s dormitory.

“Sirius!” I said in the same tone as Sirius. He put his arm around my waist as we left the common room and took a secret passage to the second floor.

“Full moon on Sunday night,” Sirius said grimly. For a moment, I was confused, then remembered, as I did only when the Full moon was mentioned.

“Oh. Well, have fun then,” I muttered. Sirius loved his full moons on the grounds with James, Peter and Remus, I knew, but it worried me so and I hated to think that he could easily be bitten.

“I will. And I’ll be careful, Love.” Sirius nuzzled my neck and chills went down my spine.

“I know you will,” I sighed. I realized this made things easier. I had an excuse to sleep in my own bed and not with Sirius on Sunday night. On Saturday and Monday would be hard to explain.


Saturday morning, I woke up later then I intended. I had met my goal of completing all my weekend homework last night and didn’t get to bed until three in the morning. Sirius stayed up with me of course and helped me out with most of it. He promised to help me with my essays, too. I had a note from Professor Humphrey to look in the restricted section in the library for books, and Sirius had gone to get some for me.

It was almost noon when I opened my eyes, blinding myself from the sun shining through the curtains. Someone had pulled the bed hangings open. I couldn’t remember if Sirius shut them last night or not. I was so tired I barely was able to get up the stairs to get to Sirius. I rolled over to find empty space. Sirius wasn’t there. This startled me. I know that I shouldn’t worry like that, I can’t be clinging to Sirius all the time. Nonetheless, I sat up and searched the room frantically. I relaxed when I saw a big black down sitting on the floor at the end of the bed, happily wagging his tail, his tongue hanging out. He barked.

“Morning to you, too,” I yawned, then remembering Christmas, I laughed and added, “How is Snuffles this morning?”

Sirius’s tail stopped wagging and he cocked his head to one side before turning back into his regular self. I was smirking.

“You didn’t just call me ‘Snuffles’” he said.

“Oh, yes I did,” I taunted.

“That’s not manly!” Sirius laughed and then lunged forward onto the bed and started tickling me. I laughed and curled up, trying to escape his tickling fingers.

“Stop!” I protested, then laughing harder, “Please, Snuffles, stop!”

“Snuffles wants to play!” Sirius said and suddenly the black dog was back lick me on the face all over. I laughed and pushed him off me.

“Dog breath,” I wrinkled my nose. Sirius barked and jumped back on top of me and turned back to himself smiling. He was laying, literally, on top of me. I felt like my air was getting cut off, but I didn’t want Sirius to move all the same. I ran my fingers through his hair and ran his fingers along my jaw line. His head was on my pillow and I could feel his soft breath on my neck.

We stayed this way for a long time. I forgot that my air supply was being cut off, but Sirius did shift his weight so he was more on my side then on top of me. After a long time I turned my head towards Sirius, smiling softly. He kissed me and I returned it greedily. Then we got carried away with a snogging session.

Yeah, Sirius and I kiss a lot, but we don’t snog as much as many think. We’re usually around to many people and we both knew that this was no ordinary relationship. Everyone in the school knew we were in love and barely parted. We didn’t need to snog in the halls or common rooms or the Great Hall when our affection for one another was obvious just by the way we looked at each other. So, we didn’t get much time alone, for I was not one to snog in a broom closet.

“Whoa, that isn’t something I wanted to see,” James’s voice came from the door way. Sirius and I pulled away and looked towards the door. James and Lily both stood there. James looking like at me and Sirius like he was a father getting ready to scold his children. Lily was smirking slightly and winked at me.

“Then knock,” Sirius muttered and rolled off the bed.

“It’s my dormitory, too, I don’t have to knock,” James said.

I got out of bed, too, and with a smile at the three before me, left to go get dressed.

Because of my late start, I had to start complaining of all the homework I still had to do in front of James almost immediately. James was going on about Quidditch practice and seemed to have forgotten my plans to sneak away. Lily had to pull him away and remind him. James then listened to me complain for a few more minutes before he finally told me to skip practice and do my work.

“You’ll just have to work harder to make up for your absence,” James shrugged. Sirius, who had been eating his lunch hungrily looked up.

“Can I skip and help her?” he asked.

“No,” James snapped, “Quidditch before girls, mate.”

Sirius looked confused for a moment after this statement before shrugging and going back to his food. For a moment, I was mad that Sirius didn’t argue that, but Lily kept me from starting an argument when she suggested I go start my work now. I put on a good show of pretending to work hard when Sirius came in from lunch to get his broom before heading towards the pitch. He kissed me quickly before leaving.

Remus, Lily, and I waited a few minutes and then left the castle. We were almost caught by Filch, but got away just in time. We hurried through the dark path towards the basement of Honeydukes. I was in a sweat by the time the floor started to rise and we were soon climbing out of the floor in Honeydukes. As we left the shop unnoticed, Lily continuously looked over her shoulder as if expecting Professor Mcgonagall to be there getting ready to yell at us for leaving school grounds.

“We’ll get your present last,” Remus said as we walked down the streets. They were a lot less crowded then usual because of the threat of Voldemort, “It’s harder to carry and you wouldn’t be allowed in the shops with it.”

“That’s fine,” I shrugged, not really caring the order we got the presents, just as long as we got them.

It took two hours for Lily to find a gift for Sirius, which was a brand new Prankster’s kit from Zonko’s. And Remus spent a good amount of time buying chocolate. When I asked if that was all he was getting Sirius, Remus looked at me like I was insane.

“This isn’t for Sirius!” he said, “It’s for me! Sirius ate half my chocolate so I need more.”

This annoyed me greatly and Remus continued looking for something to buy Sirius. He settled on a new Beater’s bat, since he had been complaining of needing a new one, and a book on Defense. I doubted Sirius would actually read it, but Remus felt that we all needed to sharpen our Defense skills with Voldemort on the loose. I agreed and made a mental note to ask Sirius to let me borrow it myself.

We walked down the streets towards the shop that held my gift to Sirius. Mine wouldn’t take to long, but hiding it would be a chore, especially since Sirius knew how to get into the girl’s dormitories. He could walk in any moment and find it. This wasn’t something that I could put in a box under my bed.

The pet store was filled with owls, cats, rats, toads, dogs, and many other animals that many witches and wizards used. Lily and I made our way straight to the dogs. I had enough gold to get one for Sirius and was completely excited about it.

“They’re so cute!” Lily cooed, scratching a Cocker Spaniel on the belly. It’s tail thumped the ground loudly.

“Can I help you?” the woman behind the counter asked.

“Actually, you can,” I said smiling, “I’m looking for a dog to give my boyfriend.”

“A dog?” the woman obviously thought the present was ridiculous, but she didn’t know that Sirius was a dog himself.

“Yes.” I said, smiling brightly.

Remus and Lily were no help as I tried to pick out a dog. Lily wanted me to get the Cocker Spaniel she had fallen in love with. Remus wasn’t be to get the German Shepard that Remus insisted Sirius would love. But I kept looking at a small Golden Retriever that was hopping around, trying to get attention from Lily and Remus. It was still a puppy and very small. But it was cute and would grow up to be big. Of course, Lily and Remus protested when I said I wanted to get that one for Sirius, but finally I was walking out of the store. The Golden Retriever wagging his tail as I held him close to my chest.

Hiding a puppy was easier then I thought. I kept the dog in a basket that he couldn’t get out of during the day while going to classes. Saturday, I snuck the dog outside to relieve himself and run. That was the hardest day. I kept having to think of excuses at the oddest times to check on the little puppy. Sunday, was easy. Sirius was sleeping most of the day because of his late night with Remus. I didn’t have to hide the dog as much and was able to take it out without worry. Monday, I checked on the dog between classes and gave it bones to chew on. I couldn’t wait till Tuesday morning when I could give the dog to Sirius.

A/N: See, the death wasn't that big of a deal. . .yet it was. haha. Isn't Sirius' present CUTE?! I credit that to a friend. I had NO idea what to make Libby get him.

Here's a little something from chp 22: Voices of Violence (another Billy Talent song!! yay!!)

“He really is sorry, you know,” I said, hands on my hips.

“Well he should act like it,” James replied.

“You prat,” I growled, “He didn’t even sleep last night he was so upset. He’s afraid you’ll never speak with him again!”

“What happened last night?” Lily asked confused.

“Sirius pulled a prank on Snape that went to far and-–” James cut me off.

“I’ll explain it all later,” he said.

“Just know that Sirius never meant any harm,” I said.

Hmm, a bit of a darker, more serious chapter i believe. Anyways, I now will answer a question that a few of you had for me:
What is the title of the sequel?
I'm not going to tell you. It will give to much away for the plot and since this story is not yet over, I cannot tell you till the final chapter. I WILL tell you that it is by Tim McGraw. One of his older songs, I think. . .i'm not sure.

Anyways, thanks soo much to all over you for reading and reviewing!!
Love you all!!

Chapter 22: Voices of Violence
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything you know is JK Rowling's. The lyrics are written and performed by the wonderfully talented Billy Talent who I will one day meet and rock out with. Until then. . .i'll just name chapters after their songs.

Chapter Twenty-Two
Voices of Violence

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Go rake the leaves off your grass and my grave
The fact is everyone bleeds when they shave
Theres no use, so dont deny we're just the same

We'll take it back...
Broken dagger, southern swagger
Voices of violence, Voices of violence
We'll take it back...
Broken dagger, southern swagger
Voices of violence, Voices of violence

These cowboys will ride off in the sunset
Once their toys have turned another profit
Back fire, their smoking guns will never rest

--Billy Talent "Voices of Violence"

The next morning I awoke more willingly then ever. Besides not having a good night sleep, it was Sirius’s birthday. His seventeenth birthday. I climbed out of bed and brushed my teeth, but I didn’t get dressed. I was to excited. I pulled the puppy, that had no name at the moment, into my arms and I hurried to the boy dormitories. I opened the door quietly.

Remus had come back from the hospital wing the night before and was in a deep sleep in his bed. You could hear Peter snoring from behind his curtains and Frank Longbottom was gone, probably eating breakfast downstairs. James was sitting cross-legged on his bed, still in his pajamas. He seemed dazed and jumped when he heard the door shut behind me. Seeing the small puppy wiggling in my arms, he jumped up and scratched him behind the ears making the dog squirm even more.

“Put it on his head!” James said eagerly. I laughed quietly and went over to Sirius’s bed. He was sleeping soundly on his side and I had to stare at him for just a moment. James rolled his eyes. I set the puppy near him and it began to explore the soft surface I had put him on.

It wandered over to Sirius, sniffing and tail wagging. Then it started licking his face and I smiled. Sirius pushed it off twice, groaned and rolled over. The puppy had a time climbing over Sirius. I laughed again. The puppy began to climb on his head, just as James wanted. This woke Sirius up.

“What the—!” he yelled sitting up. The puppy yelped as it landed on his side as it flew off Sirius’s head. The yelp got Sirius’s attention and his eyes lit up happily.

“Happy Birthday,” I said smiling.

“You got me a puppy?” Sirius asked lifting it. The puppy licked his face and Sirius’s face brighten.

“Of course I did.” I laughed. Sirius didn’t even get off his bed. A black dog was in his place and touching noses with the small puppy who seemed confused by the sudden appearance, but excited to have met another dog.

It was amusing, actually, to watch a giant black dog and a tiny golden dog jump off the bed and play with one another. I swear Sirius was having more fun then the puppy. The barks and yelps of excitement woke up the other two. Peter was clapping on his bed and bouncing while Remus watched with an amused expression, putting bits of chocolate into his mouth absentmindedly. I sat on the end of Sirius’s bed watching him and his puppy.

“What’s his name, Snuffles?” I asked. James and Remus laughed at the nickname. Sirius stopped playing with the puppy. His head was to the side as it pulled on one of his ear. He turned back into his regular self, again confusing the puppy, who was now pulling at Sirius’s human ear.

“I dunno,” Sirius said releasing himself from the puppy’s hold. He stood up, bringing the puppy with him. It wiggled and licked his face.

“What about Snuffles Jr.?” Remus sniggered. James threw his head back and laughed loudly.

“No!” Sirius said, “That’s my other name that you guys cannot call me. Only Libby.” Sirius added with a smirk. I giggled and Sirius looked back at the puppy, “I think I’m going to name him Ace!”

“Ace?” James repeated rasing an eyebrow.

“What?” Sirius pulled the puppy closer to his chest as if protecting him.


“Yes, Ace,” Sirius put the dog back on his bed and pulled another present towards him, “I always said that if I ever get a dog, I’d name him Ace. So, this is Ace.”

“Weird name if you ask me,” James said. Sirius threw his pillow at James, hitting him on the head and sending him off the side of his bed.


Sirius brought Ace everywhere with him. Even to classes. The teachers were hesitant at first and Mcgonagall even sent Sirius to Dumbledore’s office when he refused to bring the dog back to the common room. Dumbledore thought the little dog was amusing and well behaved. Sirius got permission to bring the dog to class as long as Ace wasn’t a distraction to anyone.

Ace was very well behaved. He didn’t bark unless he was running around outside with Sirius, or wrestling Sirius in his dog shape. In classes, he’d sit on the floor by Sirius’s feet sleeping or watching the students perform spells. I have to say I was a bit jealous of the dog the first week. I felt like Sirius was paying more attention to Ace then me. The little thing would even squeeze his way between me and Sirius during the night. I got over it though. Sirius still loved me.

Before I knew it, the month had past and April arrived. The snow had melted completely now and the air was getting warmer, even if jackets were still needed. There was no news on my Uncle and, though we still missed her, the pain of losing Kirsten was getting easier and easier to deal with each day. Plus, I was back on top of all my school work. My essays had gotten done and were excellent according to Professor Humphrey.

The full moon had arrived sooner then I hoped. Remus had left for the hospital wing the night before. Sirius, James, and Peter hurried through dinner. While James and Peter went up to the common room to grab the Invisibility Cloak, I waited in the Great Hall with Sirius telling him to be careful. Ace was in my arms to stay with me.

“We’re always careful, Libs, don’t worry, alright?” Sirius asked. I nodded, though not very enthusiastically, “You don’t have to worry for a while, anyways. Remus won’t change for a while. We just want to run around a bit before.” I nodded once more.

“I better go on up,” I said.

“If you want to make sure we’re all okay, keep the Marauder Map by you.” Sirius suggested.

“I think I will,” I said, liking the idea. I kissed Sirius deeply once more and then left. As I looked over my shoulder before turning the corner, I saw Sirius taunting Severus Snape. I didn’t bother to go back.

It had only been less then an hour when I got a funny feeling in my stomach. I was working on my Transfiguration homework in my dormitory. Ace was chewing on a dog bone on the floor next to me. I couldn’t concentrate because of this feeling. The Map was open next to me. I was the only one in the dormitory, so I hadn’t bothered to hide it. I glanced at it. Remus still wasn’t on the Map and the other three were so far in the Forbidden Forest, I couldn’t see them.

Then something caught my eye. Another dot. It was to late for anyone to be walking out on the grounds. But Severus Snape was wandering out the Entrance Hall and onto the grounds. The Remus has had to transform by now and will be coming from the Shrieking Shack in only a few minutes. I cleared the Map and ran from the dormitory. Lily stood as I ran from the common room, but I didn’t stop to answer her calls.

I took the best secret passage to the Great Hall and then ran out the doors. I could see Snape’s figure in the distance. My lungs hurt and my legs screamed as I ran across the grounds trying to catch up to the greasy Slytherin. I remembered Sirius talking to Snape before I left. Did Sirius say something? My heart pounded.

It wasn’t until I could see Snape prodding a knot on the Whomping Willow that I thought to scream out to him. I mentally kicked myself for being so stupid, but seeing Snape know what to do to freeze the Willow(something Sirius told me only a few weeks ago) made me panic as I realized that Sirius probably told Snape as a joke.

“SNAPE!” I screamed. The Slytherin turned, rolled his eyes and disappeared into the Willow. I dived under just as the Willow began to move again, “Stop!” I shouted.

“Why, Cullen?” Snape snapped, “Don’t want me to discover one of your precious lover’s secrets?”

“No, if you go on, you can die!” I said. Snape broke into a run ahead of me, “STOP!”

“You know what’s up here, Cullen?” Snape taunted, “Well, I’m going to know, too, and hopefully it’s bad enough to get Black and Potter expelled!”

“And you killed!” I snapped.

I could barely get the words out I was so out of air, but Snape heard them anyways and laughed darkly. We were at the end of the passage and Snape climbed up into the Shrieking Shack. That was when I heard barking and the thudding of hooves. I didn’t slow, but climbed up after Snape and pushed him to the ground just as a huge, clawed paw swiped the air. I rolled over and backed against the wall next to a terrified Snape.

Before me stood a full grown werewolf. Remus. His teeth were bared and saliva was hanging from them. He stood on his back legs, his hairy body so big and strong, he could crush me and stupid Snape easier then anything. My heart was beating in my chest and I pressed myself further against the wall. The werewolf raised his arm again to strike us.

Out of no where Sirius, in his dog form, jumped on top of the werewolf. It growled and soon the dog and wolf were wrestling in a much rougher way then Sirius wrestled with Ace. Someone grabbed my arm and I looked up to see James.

“Come on,” he said and grabbed Snape by the collar of his shirt. He pushed us out, back into the tunnel. Snape was off in seconds. I started after him knowing Snape was going to Dumbledore but turned around.

“Sirius!” I screamed, but James grabbed me and pulled me back.

“He’ll be fine. You need to get out of here.” James snapped. I realized he was angry. We ran, James hanging onto me. Snape was to far ahead and running fast out of fear.

“James-–” I began, but he interrupted me.

“Get on.” he ordered and then a magnificent Stag stood before me. I had never seen James in his animagus shape before. I never really imagined him so great either. I stared for a minute, but when James stomped his foot I climbed on. James was galloping down the tunnel before I was even on right.

When James and I were in sight of Snape again, I jumped off and James turned back into himself. The secret of James’s animagus shape didn’t need to be revealed yet. Neither of us slowed as Snape disappeared inside the school. We were going much faster then I have ever thought I would be able to. The school didn’t seem to be getting any closer and I was gasping for air.

James got to the oak doors before I did. He was half way up the stairs when they slammed behind me, probably drawing the attention to the entire school. And Filch. It was after curfew now. My legs will never hurt as much as they do now. They scream in protest as I chased Snape and James up the many stairs. I knew we were going to Dumbledore’s office. Snape had said he wants James and Sirius expelled.

I was catching up to the two boys were had much longer legs then me. Snape had stopped to say the password to Dumbledore’s office, somehow he knew it, and then James. I slipped through before the gargoyle could jump back into place. I was almost crushed. When I reached the top of the stairs, I found both Snape and James yelling over one another trying to explain what had happened. Dumbledore was looking quite surprised by the intrusion.

The twinkle was missing from his eyes, which happened almost every time I was near him, and he was looking back and forth between the boys. He held up a hand and both boys instantly stopped talking.

“Have a seat,” he ordered. Three chairs appeared in front of his desk. I sat between James and Snape so the wouldn’t kill each other. Snape was already throwing glares of anger and triumph in James’s direction while James was avoiding looking at the greasy Slytherin. His own hazel eyes were flashing angrily. When he saw Sirius again, I don’t think James will be able to hold his anger in any more.

“What happened?” Dumbledore asked.

“Black and Potter are out of control, Professor,” Snape hissed, “Everyone thinks their little jokes are so funny, but they’ve taken it to far this time.”

“What did they do, Severus?”

The door swung open and Sirius burst in with Peter. Sirius was cut and bruised from his fight with Remus. Yet, he was standing tall and looked determined, sorry, and ashamed. Dumbledore brought up another two chairs, but Sirius stayed standing behind me. He wasn’t looking at anyone but Dumbledore.

They almost killed me!” Snape accused pointing at the Marauders, “You let a werewolf into the school. I always knew there was something about Lupin that was different. These bloody Marauders almost killed me! They told me to go to the Shrieking Shack. I almost was attacked by a werewolf! If Cullen hadn’t followed me then I would be dead now. Because of her, Potter he chickened out on the prank and got both of us away. It would look to horrible if he had just let me die!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” James snarled.

“What happened, James?” Dumbledore now turned his attention to James.

“It wasn’t his fault, Professor,” Sirius said before James could answer, “I didn’t think. I told Snape how to get into the Shrieking Shack thinking it would be a good prank. I didn’t think that Remus would be out of his control and try and attack him. I told James what I did and when I did, I realized what I did. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t think.” he finished looking more ashamed then ever.

“Miss Cullen, what were you doing?” Dumbledore asked.

“I over heard Sirius tell Snape,” I lied, knowing that the Marauders wouldn’t want me to reveal the map no matter what the circumstances, “There was no time to get a teacher or anything. I really didn’t think, either. I just ran after Snape thinking I can get him to go back to the castle. I couldn’t.”

“And I assume you entered the Shrieking Shack, too.” Dumbledore said. I nodded and hung my head. Because of that, Sirius was going to get in twice as much trouble. Could you be sent to Azkaban for a mistake like this?

“I got them both out, Professor,” James added.

“Severus,” Dumbledore said looking at the Slytherin sternly, “I forbid you to tell anyone what you saw. If you even slip up on accident, I will expel you.” Snape’s jaw dropped and his eyes flash furiously as Dumbledore scribbled something on parchment, “Here is a note to go back to your Common room without getting a detention from Mr. Filch. You will be getting one for leaving school grounds and your common room after curfew already.”

“I get punished for almost getting killed?” he asked.

“Curiosity isn’t a bad thing, Severus, you are in Mr. Potter’s debt for saving you,” was all Dumbledore said and with a wave of his hand dismissed Snape. We watched the Slytherin leave angrily.

“Sit, Sirius,” Dumbledore demanded. Sirius sat but kept his eyes on the ground, “I have every means to expel you, Sirius.”

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

“But I’m not.” Sirius looked up shocked.


“We all make mistakes. We all have those moments we aren’t proud of. You will have detention every Wednesday and Saturday and no more Hogsmeade weekends for the rest of the year. I would take away Quidditch, but the season is over so it would pointless. I want you to apologize to Severus and to Remus. If anything had happened, I believe Remus would be the one to take the harder punishment,” Dumbledore said, “I will warn you now, Sirius, any more mistakes like this will lead to expulsion. I would hold back on the pranks and jokes for a while.”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius said again, but looked relieved to be able to stay in school.

“As for, you, Mr. Potter,” Dumbledore continued, “Detention for being out after curfew. Same with you, Miss Cullen, Mr. Pettigrew. Don’t be to angry at Sirius. You all will make mistakes like this one day. Ones you can’t take back.”

The prophecy came back to me and I looked at Sirius before looking at Dumbledore and saying, “Professor, Sirius took the blame.”

“It would be nice to have the burden of a Prophecy out of your mind, wouldn’t it, Libby?” Dumbledore asked, James gave me and curious look, “But if you remember correctly it is an idea you may have. Now, unless it was your idea to send Severus right into a werewolf. . .”

“No, Professor, I told Snape,” Sirius said shaking his head. My heart sank. So the prophecies were still there.

“I suggest you all go to bed. Sirius, you might want to get those cuts checked out. I’m not going to ask how you got them.” Dumbledore said, “There will be plenty of time to explain everything tomorrow.”

The four of us left the office. As soon as the gargoyle jumped back into place, James rounded on Sirius. For a minute, he glared at his guilty friend and then shoved him so hard, Sirius almost lost his footing.

“Are you stupid?” he asked, shoving him again, “Are you so stupid to risk Remus’s cover. Everything he’s done to hide his condition?” another shove, Sirius’s fell to the ground, “What would you have done if Snape was killed?” James pulled Sirius back up and pushed him down again, Sirius made no move to fight back, “We hate him, but to kill him?” James turned away angrily and I helped Sirius up, “You would have gone to Azkaban, Sirius. Remus would never forgive himself.”

“I didn’t—”

“Think? Obviously!” James roared, “IF YOU HAD THOUGHT SNAPE WOULDN’T KNOW REMUS’S SECRET! LIBBY, THE GIRL YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH, WOULDN’T HAVE PUT HER LIFE AT STAKE, TO SAVE YOUR ARSE!” I had never seen James so mad, and obviously, neither had Sirius, he coward from his best friends wrath as James continued in a softer voice, “You’d think you would feel worse because you put Libby’s life at stake, too.”

“I feel horrible, James,” Sirius snapped, losing his own temper, “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t think. I barely even thought that Snape would take me seriously! Libby had gone back to the common room. If I had known she was going to chase after Snape—”

“You wouldn’t have trick Snape then, would you? But no, it was just Remus going through an incredibly painful transformation when he doesn’t even know who he is and has gone almost six years keeping a secret that can make everyone in the school turn against him. Yeah, don’t care about ruining Remus’s whole reputation and life,” James scoffed. He started walking off in the opposite direction to the Gryffindor common room.

“James. . .” Sirius said closing his eyes.

“I’m going to go help Remus out. I, for one, actually care about him,” James snarled, turning around and glaring at Sirius. Then he continued dramatic exit.

“Sorry, Sirius,” Peter squeaked and chased after James.

For a second, I thought Sirius was going to go after them, but then he turned on his heels and stomped to the Room of Requirement. I followed, having to jog to keep up with his long strides.

Once in the Room of Requirement, the same room that we were in the last time we were here. Sirius kicked the wall in a painful manner and plopped onto the bed. It was easy to see he was angry, ashamed, and hurt. I could see tears glistening in his eyes. I moved over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t mean it. I knew he didn’t. It was like Dumbledore had said; we all make mistakes.

“You’re not going to call me a bastard and walk off?” he asked coldly.

“It was an accident,” I said softly.

“James honestly thinks I purposely did that to Remus.” Sirius muttered, “Like I would do that when Remus is in a violent and dangerous state.”

“He’ll forgive you sooner of later,” I said.

“Better been sooner,” Sirius said, looking at me for the first time, “James is my best friend, my brother. He means as much as you do to me. If he just forgets our friendship because of my stupidity, I don’t know what I’ll do.” He looked back down at his hands.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. My mind to me to let Sirius be alone, but my heart wouldn’t let me leave, as corny as it sounds. I wanted to hold Sirius close and tell him everything will be alright. But will it? Snape knows the most dangerous secret of the Marauders. James had never been so angry in his life and Remus would probably be a wreck when he returns tomorrow.

“Sirius. . .” I whispered. He looked up at me again, pain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to follow Snape. James is right, you would think that I would be more considerate seeing how I love you more then anything in the world.” Sirius scolded himself.

“It was an accident,” I repeated.

“Does it matter if it were an accident or not?” Sirius snapped at me, I recoiled from him, “I almost killed someone. I revealed Remus to our biggest enemy in the school.”

“It does matter Sirius,” I yelled back, sitting up straighter, “If you had done it on purpose, I don’t think you would have tried to stop Snape from going. You wouldn’t have told James what you did. But you’re sorry, it easy to see. You care for your friends more then me. They all know you didn’t mean it, no matter how angry James is.”

Sirius was silent. Then, so suddenly it seemed impossible, Sirius had his arms around me. His hand in my hair and his face buried in my neck. His other arm pulling me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. We sat frozen in the position, his soft breath on my neck. I shut my eyes, savoring the feeling of him being so close to me.

“Let’s go to sleep,” I whispered after a while. Sirius nodded and I pushed him down onto the bed. We got under the covers and I snuggled closer to Sirius, tangling my legs with his.

I fell asleep quickly, having dreams of losing Sirius forever. Each time I woke from one, I would find Sirius awake next to me, staring at me lovingly. He didn’t sleep at all, I knew. When morning arrived, we stayed in bed until well past noon. We hadn’t said a word at all since my suggestion to sleep the night before. Instead, we just laid in each other’s arms lost in thought.

Finally, I had to get up. I made Sirius get up, too. We made our way back to the common room in silence. James, Peter, and Lily were sitting on the scarlet sofa in front of the fire. Sirius didn’t looking at James as he went up the stairs. I went over to James, frowning.

“He really is sorry, you know,” I said, hands on my hips.

“Well he should act like it,” James replied.

“You prat,” I growled, “He didn’t even sleep last night he was so upset. He’s afraid you’ll never speak with him again!”

“What happened last night?” Lily asked confused.

“Sirius pulled a prank on Snape that went to far and-–” James cut me off.

“I’ll explain it all later,” he said.

“Just know that Sirius never meant any harm,” I said.


The day had been stressful. Lily was told about Remus and his “Furry Little Problem” as James put it. She didn’t freak out, but we found out she’s known since last year; she figured it out herself. She yelled her head off at James for his breaking of the law, though. Sirius stayed away from everyone all day. Even me. I had gone up to his dormitory after my disagreement with James and Sirius was no where to be found. He took the Marauder’s map, too, so I couldn’t find him that way either.

I skipped dinner and went to visit Remus instead. That was when I found Sirius. His head was hung in shame as he told one of his best friends what he did. Remus was staring at Sirius in horror, though I knew that Dumbledore had probably told Remus what had happened already. I listened in for a few minutes and was relieved to know that Remus had forgiven Sirius on the spot for his mistake. Then he apologized to me for almost attacking me, something I quickly brushed aside.

Now, I sat in the library finishing an essay before I had to go back to the common room. You knew that James and Sirius were fighting. The whole school was tense and strangely quite. It was torture, really. No one knew what the two boys that were inseparable could possibly be fighting about.

“Miss Cullen?” came the stern voice of Professor Mcgonagall. I looked up, surprised to see you.

“Yes, Professor?” I asked, wondering if she knew I ditched class this morning.

“Professor Dumbledore would like a word. He has some good news,” Mcgonagall said with a tiny hint of a smile.

“Thank you,” I nodded. I quickly collected my stuff and put the books away. Then I took the familiar route to the Headmaster’s office. I seemed to be going there a lot.

Inside I found my brother, Jacob, and my Aunt Becky sitting in the fluffy chairs Dumbledore always made appear out of thin air. I relaxed a little knowing this wasn’t about what happened last night. Then I remembered Mcgonagall saying something about good news and my stomach twisted. He isn’t. . .

“Ah, Libby, have a seat,” Dumbledore said as another chair appeared. I obeyed and sat up straight looking at my Aunt, who looked happy. Dumbledore’s eyes were twinkling, “You’re Uncle has woken up and is in perfect health.” he said. I felt a smile break out over my face as Jacob let out a happy cheer.

“Can we see him?” I asked.

“Of course. That’s why I’m here,” Aunt Becky laughed.

“I will give you twenty minutes to get some things together for a weekend stay,” Dumbledore said, then looked at me, his eyes twinkled more then ever, “And to say good byes to certain people.”

“Yes sir,” I said and hugged my aunt tightly. She looked tired and thinner, but incredibly happy.

I quickly packed some things into a small bag. Sirius had disappeared again, taking the map and James’s cloak with him. I searched for a long time, but after thirty minutes, I knew that Aunt Becky would be getting impatient, especially when she had given me twenty minutes and I’ve been gone forty.

“I can’t find Sirius,” I said sadly coming back into Dumbledore’s office.

“Let him be alone, Libby, I’ll tell him where you’ve gone tomorrow,” Dumbledore promised. I nodded and got into the fire place with my Aunt and brother. As we flooed to St. Mungo’s I couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss being so far from Sirius.

A/N: Where is Sirius? I forgot where I made him go so you'll have to wait till next chapter. hehe.

Anyways. HOLY CRAP!! over 1000 reviews!! YOu have no idea how insanely happy i am for thay! I'm litterally bouncing in my seat and i went scream down to my mom when I for say it. Thanks to all of you! You completely made my lonely Friday night exciting!!

Now, for a little something from chp. 13: The World

“This is actually amusing,” Lily said to me smiling as a seventh year boy came running down the stairs with his socks attached to his ears.

“He looks like Ace!” Sirius laughed, picking the growing puppy up off the floor and setting him in his lap.

“Only Ace is cuter,” I pointed out.

“Not as cute as me!” Sirius said with a bark of laughter.

“Oh yeah, because breaking the Wizarding law is just so adorable,” Lily said irritably. She still didn’t like knowing that James, Sirius, and Peter had done something so great, but can be sent to Azkaban if they are ever found out.

“Come on, Lils,” James said, “Even you have to admit that Sirius is better to look at when a dog then he is as a person.”

Hmm . . . the next chapter isn't all that exciting. But it's April Fool's day! At least the morning of April Fool's. The rest of the day is in chp. 24. . . yay!

Anyways, thanks so much for the reviews! You all make me feel so great. Please, keep reviewing. I think it's the only thing really making me happy these days. lol.

Chapter 23: The World
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything is JKR's. Lryics by Brad Paisley.

Chapter Twenty-Three
The World

You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me

That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've gotta say is

To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world

--Brad Paisley "The World"

I hurried down the corridor after my aunt. The hospital was quite empty from Christmas time. Jacob was in front of me, eagerly wanting to see our Uncle, who had just woken up from a three month coma. I was actually very nervous to see my Uncle. Did he remember what I said to him? I still needed to apologize.

We burst into the room where my Uncle was staying in. He was sitting up, looking like he shouldn’t be in a hospital, reading the Daily Profit. He jumped when the door swung open and we all stumbled inside. Then he grinned, putting the paper down and off to the side.

“Uncle Scott!” Jacob yelled and jumped onto the bed and hugged Uncle Scott as tight as he could.

“Hey!” Uncle Scott laughed as he hugged Jake. I felt tears threaten to spill as my Aunt kissed Uncle Scott gently and sat down in the uncomfortable chairs. Jacob was already filling our Uncle in about the last three months. I stood in the door way, wishing that Sirius was by my side, even if Uncle Scott didn’t approve.

As Jake went on about his life for about an hour. As he talked, I realized how oblivious to Jacob I’ve been. He’s broken up with his little girlfriend from the holidays, gotten a weeks worth of detentions from Mcgonagall for destroying her classroom when a spell backfired, found out he was allergic to peanuts, and even discovered the kitchens without any help. All this within three months and I didn’t even notice. Was I that self absorbed?

“What about you, Libby? No hug?” Uncle Scott asked, I was still standing in the doorway. I gave him a small smile and hugged him, but it was a tight hug. I wanted to apologize without Jake and Aunt Becky being there, “And what’s happened since you’ve gone back to Hogwarts?”

“I really don’t think you want to know,” I said honestly. Why ruin this happy moment with tales of death, prophecies, fights, and heart ache? My aunt seemed to have other things on her mind, however, and stood up.

“Come on, Jake, let’s go get ice cream or something. Leave Libby and Scott to talk alone.” she said. Then she gave me a look that obviously said Tell him everything. Right now. I took a deep breath as they left.

“It’s so horrible that Jacob can’t even know about it?” Uncle Scott asked, looking a bit worried now. I sighed.

“He only knows some of it. But yeah, he can’t know most of it.” I explained, “It mainly has to do with my future. Actually, mine and Sirius’s futures.” I glanced at Uncle Scott at the mention of Sirius. His face was emotionless and unreadable. He caught my glance and shook his head.

“Let’s get this out of the way, now,” he said, “I know I can’t keep you away from Sirius and I know I can’t keep Sirius away from you. I have to accept that you and Sirius really are in love, no matter how young you are. As long as you are happy, I’m happy. Okay?”

“Thanks,” I said, suddenly feeling lighter, “And Uncle Scott, I’m so sorry about what I said. I never meant what I said about you not being my father. You are more of a father to me then anyone else in the world can be. And I’m proud to be your daughter.”

It sounds corny, but I said it with meaning. Uncle Scott seemed to understand this. He reached out and hugged me so tightly that I thought I would snap in two. Then he kissed me softly on my forehead and now I knew that I was lighter. Without the weight of guilt on my shoulders, I felt a lot better. Smiling, I sat down in the chair Aunt Becky had been sitting in.

“Well, I guess if I have to tell you everything, I should start from the very beginning where everything started,” I said in a grim voice, “Remember the party that James was throwing on New Years?”

“You went didn’t you?” he asked. I hung my head in shame.

“Yes, I did. But I didn’t drink much. I mean, Remus and I were like the two most sober people at the whole party. Sirius, James, Kirsten, and even Lily were like completely loaded. The party didn’t seem that bad, but it was horrible. Kirsten disappeared that night. That was also when we found out about John Potter and you and the attack. . .”

I told Uncle Scott how Sirius had become a bit distant as he worried about James. How Kirsten still hadn’t been found and how everything was just so depressing. I told him how Lily and James broke up and then Sirius broke up with me when we got back to school. I told him how I learned that Kirsten was dead because a Death Eater came to the party, looking for me. How the Death Eater mistook Kirsten for me and killed her instead. I began to cry here, the guilt of knowing it was my fault Kirsten died sunk in finally.

Once I composed myself, I told Uncle Scott how Sirius and I got back together and I felt like I was going insane while away from him. Then I told him how Ben Carlson used me to make some money. We laughed a bit on how Ravenclaws, the smart ones, were stupid enough to be doing that. Something a Slytherin would do. But that led into the prophecies. Something Uncle Scott was very much interested in. I repeated each one, telling him that both of them connected and were most likely talking about me and Sirius.

We went into a detailed explanation of the prophecies. Knowing that I was somehow going to be involved with Voldemort in my future worried Uncle Scott. He tried to think of why Sirius would take the blame about whatever it is I’ll do when I don’t remember. He feared that it was bad, very bad. Something that can throw you into Azkaban for or something. This made me worry. Sirius in Azkaban? Just the thought seemed impossible.

Once all the dark stuff was out of the way I told Uncle Scott about the happy things. Like Sirius and his puppy, how he received an inheritance from his Uncle Alphard and how we won the Quidditch Cup. I didn’t bother telling him about the fight between James and Sirius. I didn’t want to have to explain that one.

When everything had been said, I realized it was almost midnight and I was very thirsty from talking so much. We sat in a comfortable silence when my Aunt Becky and Jacob walked in. Jake looked incredibly bored, but glad to be back in the same room with Uncle Scott.


I got up early the next morning, having barely slept the night before. I missed Sirius so much as I got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen where our house-elf, Rose, prepared me some breakfast. I barely ate any of it and I was sure both Jacob and Aunt Becky noticed, but just chose not to say anything.

We made our way back to the hospital. Uncle Scott was already awake and once again reading the paper. It seemed like the only source of entertainment in the hospital. He grinned when he saw us all, glad to have company again.

“Sandra is coming later with James,” Aunt Becky explained after greetings, “She’s bringing James home for the weekend to see you.”

“Is Sirius coming?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m not sure, most likely since Sirius is like part of the family,” Becky shrugged.

“Not anymore,” Jacob said loudly, “James and Sirius are having a huge fight right now. They aren’t talking.”

Silence followed this rather shocking piece of information. I glared at Jacob. Now questions I’m not allowed to answer will be asked.

“What do you mean they aren’t talking?” Aunt Becky asked, looking at me for the answer, of course. I bit my lip for a minute.

“Sirius did something stupid,” I shrugged, “And James thought he did it on purpose and Dumbledore got involved and everything. I’m sure James will get over it. Remus already did.”

“What did he do exactly?” Jacob asked.

“That is none of your business,” I snapped at him.

“Did it have something to do with your sneaking into the boys dormitories every night?” Jake asked curiously. Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott snapped their heads in my direction and I felt my stomach twist.

“I do not sneak!” I gasped.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Jacob shrugged, “You don’t bother trying to go unnoticed anymore.”

“What is he talking about, Libby?” Aunt Becky asked.

“Oh, it’s not like we do anything,” I explained, “You can ask the four other boys in the dormitories and Lily. I just go in with Sirius because it’s easier to sleep.”

“Libby. . .” my Aunt sighed.

“I’m serious, I didn’t sleep at all last night because Sirius wasn’t there. And I didn’t say bye to him and he was all upset when I left him.” I said quickly, then added just for good measurement, “I love him.”

“I know you do, Libby, but sleeping with him?” she asked.

“You sleep with Uncle Scott.” I pointed out.

“We’re married.”

“Sirius and I aren’t breaking up any time soon.”

“But to sleep with him?”

“I can’t live without him.”

“What?” Aunt Becky frowned and Uncle Scott nodded. This argument sounded a lot like the one from Christmas.

“I can’t live without him,” I repeated.


Around lunch, I was sitting in the lobby with Jacob. Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott needed to talk. I knew it was all about me and Sirius and that I only had to leave because then Jacob would feel left out and get all upset. So, we went to the lobby with cups of tea in our hands. It was to crowded in the room where we got the tea and we found it rather interesting to watch patients come in and out of the hospital. Some of the cases were more horrible then others, but amusing nonetheless. Someone put their hands over my eyes, scaring the day lights out of me.

“Guess who?” said a familiar voice.

“James, you scared me!” I said putting a hand over my heart. James lifted his hands and took a seat next to me.

“I know,” he laughed. He seemed a lot happier then when I saw him last night.

“Is Sirius here?” I asked, twisting in my seat in search of my boyfriend. Yet, all I saw was the woman with huge, house elf like ears sitting in the corner trying hard not to be noticed.

“I couldn’t find him,” James said. He tried to sound like he could careless, but I heard the worry in his voice and saw it in his eyes.

“What do you mean you couldn’t find him?” I asked, getting worried myself.

“No one has seen him since he went to visit Remus,” James explained, “He took both the map and my cloak and ran off. And trust me, Libs, we looked everywhere. Including the Shrieking Shack, Forbidden Forest, and Hogsmeade. Remus got into the Room of Requirement and found it completely empty. I know he wouldn’t leave Hogwarts. Not without at least saying good bye to you.”

“Then where is he? Have you talked to Dumbledore?” I asked.

“Dumbledore seemed to know Sirius left,” James explained, “He wouldn’t do anything. Just said that Sirius will come back at his own time.”

“You really should forgive him, James,” I said quietly. I noticed Jacob tilt his head more in our direction, but ignored him. James scowled.

“Why? After what he did. He almost got expelled for it. He put you in danger and almost killed someone. If he hadn’t told me when he did, you both would be dead.” James had lowered his voice so only I could hear. We both ignored Jake.

“Remus has forgiven him.” I hissed, “I thought that when Remus forgives him, you will, too. It was a mistake, James. He feels horrible for it.”

“And he should.”

“He feels even worse because you aren’t talking to him. You are like his brother James. You both say that. He’ll be lost without you, I know it. He told me he cares for you as much as he does me. And I know you care for him as much as you do Lily. So, for both your sakes, forgive him.” I pleaded.

“That’s kinda hard to do when he is hiding from everyone.” James snapped at me, but I beamed.

“But you’ll forgive him?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure,” James grumbled and then, after a moment, “What are they talking about that’s so important that we can’t go see your Uncle? That’s what I came for!”

“Trust me, James, you don’t want to listen to their conversation,” I said knowingly. James eyed me carefully.

“Does it have to do with that Prophecy thing Dumbledore mentioned the other night in his office?” James asked. My stomach twisted.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said trying to sound confused. My attempt was pathetic to even my own ears.

“Yes you do. Merlin, Libby, I may have been distracted and pissed that night, but I heard Dumbledore tell you that it would be nice to have the burden of the prophecy out of your mind,” James rolled his eyes, “And I know Sirius knows about it, too. I just don’t get why you won’t tell me.”

I sighed. Was there a way around this? A way to keep James from learning the truth? He wouldn’t like me for it. My mind raced as I tried to think up some interesting, but fake destiny Sirius and I could have. Nothing came. Just the real prophecy. James, and Jacob, were looking at me with interest. I bit my bottom lip.

As I opened my mouth to stutter out an explanation, Sandra Potter came into the lobby all smiles and told us we could come back up. I quickly jumped up and hurried up to Uncle Scott’s room, leaving James’s question unanswered and Jacob frustrated that things were being hid from his knowledge.

The rest of the afternoon was spent talking and catching up. James was very excited to tell about his relationship with Lily and I had the pleasure to watch him blush as Uncle Scott joked about both of us being heads over heels in love. We left Uncle Scott once more that night with the happy news that, if all goes well through the night, he could be released tomorrow afternoon.

James and Sandra slept over at my house. Something I learned that Sandra did often when not at work. The loss of her husband still hung over her head. Again, I didn’t get to sleep. I dozed off twice and had visions of Sirius in mortal peril and that made me nervous. So, at about three in the morning I lit my light, put my radio on as low as possible with me still being able to hear it, and read a good book till the sun began to rise and it could be a good time to go down for breakfast.

“Didn’t sleep much, huh?” Sandra was in the kitchen when I got there. She looked just as exhausted as I did.

“No. I didn’t,” I replied truthfully.

“I didn’t either,” Sandra sighed, “It’s hard when he’s not by my side.”

I knew who ‘he’ was. And I knew how Sandra felt. I felt safe at night with Sirius close to me and cuddling close to my side. Sandra had felt safe with John Potter by her side. And now that he is gone, the safety of her bed had been taken from her. Permanently. I shivered at the thought of losing Sirius forever.

“I know what you mean,” I said.

“Amazing how you and Sirius are so close,” Sandra said more to herself. She looked right into my eyes as she continued, “Always say what you need to, Libby, because life is short and sometimes shorter then others. You need to get everything you need to tell Sirius to him because there might not be another chance.”

I nodded, not sure how else to respond to her words. More fear engulfed me at the thought of losing Sirius. What would I do without him?


We went out to eat for lunch as a celebration of Uncle Scott’s release from his long stay at the hospital. It was rather fun, I must say. I enjoyed myself. We joked around and laughed and my thoughts of Sirius were driven away for the time being. Even Sandra Potter seemed a lot happier with Uncle Scott awake once more.

Things got more upsetting when Uncle Scott requested to go see John Potter’s grave. He had missed the funeral of his best friend, and I felt that made Uncle Scott the most upset. It was the first time I really seen him cry. And it broke my heart.

I didn’t sleep that night either and the next morning, we went back to Hogwarts. I was more excited to be back at Hogwarts then I had ever been before. I went down to the Great Hall and greeted Remus, Lily, and Peter. Then went in search of Sirius. I needed to see him. I’ve gone three days without his touch and now that I was back at Hogwarts, so close to him, heart screamed for him.

I couldn’t find him.

Of course, he probably had the Invisibility Cloak on, so I wouldn’t see him, but I would think he would grow up and come find me now that I’m back. I have to admit I felt a bit hurt at the thought of Sirius doing that to me.

I had to sleep in the Room of Requirement that night. It was the last place I had been with Sirius and it comforted me. I had only just dozed off when something slithered around me waist, startling me awake. I twisted in fear and instantly relaxed.

“Sirius. . .” I whispered laying back down. Ace was sniffing around on the floor, looking for a good place to sleep. I noticed a doggie bed appeared.

“Sorry,” he said.

I reached out and pulled him closer to me, kissing him as deeply as I possibly could and trying to get all my love and affection for him into that one kiss. Sirius seemed to be doing the same, because it was the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. When we pulled away for air, my lips tingled and my heart raced.

“Where have you been?” he asked.

“My Uncle has been released. Dumbledore sent me and Jacob to go see him for the weekend. I looked for you, Sirius, but I couldn’t find you.” I replied honestly, “James said he couldn’t find you either when he was sent to visit, too.”

“James was looking for me?” Sirius seemed surprised.

“Yes! Where were you?” I snapped.

“I found a secret chamber,” Sirius grinned, the dimple appearing and taking my breath away, “I’ve been hiding out there.”

“You had me worried.” I said.

“Sorry. When you didn’t show up on the map and weren’t in Hogsmeade, I was freaking out, myself. I haven’t slept in three days.” Sirius explained.

“Me neither,” I laughed, “And we have classes tomorrow.”

“Oh, Merlin, I know!” Sirius said. He laid down beside me and kissed me again. This time, we held on longer and was just as passionate.

We laid there for a while, just kissing and sometimes whispering loving words between kisses. We finally fell asleep just before midnight.


When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was still wrapped in Sirius’s arms. Sirius stirred beside me and opened his eyes. He gave me a smile as he stretched. He kissed me softly.

“What time is it?” Sirius asked. A clock appeared on the other side of room reading after nine. We both sat up, me still struggling to keep the sheet up. Ace sat up, too, sensing our surprise.

“We’re late for Transfiguration!” I gasped.

Sirius was already up and pulling on his shoes. I jumped up, too, and slipped on my own shoes. We hurried to the Gryffindor common room to change into our school robes. Ace, slipping and sliding on the tile floors, hurried behind us and barked cheerfully. We ran up the stairs to out separate dormitories and changed. I didn’t bother with my make up and used a quick spell to tame my hair. In the common room, I met with Sirius and began to lead the way out, but Sirius pulled me back.

“Libby, before we go I need to ask you something,” Sirius said

“What is it?” I asked.

“Um, I was going to wait till later to give this to you, but I can’t wait anymore,” Sirius said, smiling a bit shyly at me. He pulled something out of his pocket and took my hand, “I want you to have this,” he said slipping a ring onto my finger, “As a promise that I’ll never leave you and will always love you no matter what.”

The ring was small and gold. The band wrapped around, meeting at the center where a heart, with a single diamond was set. I felt the ring take the shape of my finger and making it sit comfortably on it. I looked up at Sirius and smiled.

“I will love you no matter what, too,” I said and Sirius leaned forward and kissed me.

We made it to Transfiguration and received detention for being late. We went to our seats and sat down, Ace laid down and fell back to sleep. We pulled out our text books and tried to pay attention to her lecture. But our minds kept wondering and before we knew it the bell had rung and I had taken no notes.

James pulled Sirius away from me as we began to head to our next class. I walked with Lily, telling her about my weekend and showing off my ring to her and a few other girls that were heading the same way as us. When we entered the Potions room and went to our seats, still with the same partners, I pulled out my books again and was just beginning to copy down the homework already written up on the board when Sirius sat down next to me, kissing me on the cheek. He seemed even happier then he did earlier. Ace sat on the floor, little tail wagging as he looked up at us.

“James has forgiven me!” he said smiling, “And he isn’t mad at me anymore! I was really beginning to think he was going to stay pissed at me forever.”

“Oh, trust me, he wouldn’t.” I assured Sirius. I filled him in on my last conversation with James about the prophecies. His eyes grew wide when I told him that James knew that there was at least one in existence and that we were hiding it from him.

“But we can’t tell him.” Sirius said shaking his head.

“No, we can’t,” I agreed, “I’ve avoided his questions so far, but sooner or later we’re going to be put in a position where we have to reply one way or another.”

“Keep an eye on your pumpkin juice,” Sirius warned, “James still has that bottle of Veritaserum.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” I laughed.

Potions ended and we went to lunch. This time as a group. James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Sirius, and me. Ace was sitting in Sirius’s robes. His head sticking out of the pocket. I realized with a jolt how much I really missed Kirsten and how different it was without her. She never even got to finish school. My sudden silence brought Sirius’s attention and he wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed me softly. He knew what I was thinking.


April first arrived and after struggling to get dressed through many, many pranks with my clothes, shampoos and soaps, and make-up(courtesy of James), I was sitting in the common room staring at James and Sirius crack up as everyone discovered the latest prank the Marauders had decided to pull on them. It was their favorite holiday, I knew. Sirius usually was the one to pull the pranks on me, but he seemed to care to deeply for me to pull any more. Just as James never could pull a prank on Lily.

“This is actually amusing,” Lily said to me smiling as a seventh year boy came running down the stairs with his socks attached to his ears.

“He looks like Ace!” Sirius laughed, picking the growing puppy up off the floor and setting him in his lap.

“Only Ace is cuter,” I pointed out.

“Not as cute as me!” Sirius said with a bark of laughter.

“Oh yeah, because breaking the Wizarding law is just so adorable,” Lily said irritably. She still didn’t like knowing that James, Sirius, and Peter had done something so great, but can be sent to Azkaban if they are ever found out.

“Come on, Lils,” James said, “Even you have to admit that Sirius is better to look at when a dog then he is as a person.”

“Gee thanks, Prongs,” Sirius pouted and pulled Ace closer to him as if for comfort. I laughed.

“We shouldn’t be sitting here watching everyone get pranks pulled on them,” Lily said, “We should be getting ready to head off to Hogsmeade.”

“It’s great, isn’t it?” Sirius asked smiling, “April Fool’s Day and a Hogsmeade weekend.”

“Great for Marauders like you,” Lily grumbled and went upstairs to change.

“She’s right, though, we better be getting ready if we’re going to leave soon,” I said, also standing.

“Ace gets to see the Village again!” Sirius said happily putting the puppy on the floor, “Good thing he usually stays close to me or I would worry he would run away and get hurt.”

“Aw, look,” James said loudly, “You got some competition, Libby!”

“No way,” Sirius said getting up and hugging me tightly, “Libby is always going to be my number one priority in life. She’s my world.”

I smiled at him and went upstairs to change for the day.

A/N: Hello once again!! I'm in a good mood today. I got both the Halifax CD(which was practically inpossible to find!) and the Academy Is. . . CD. I wanted to get AFI, too, but i was out of money. ANYWAYS, let's get back to things that you wonderful readers actually would LIKE to hear.

Glancing over this while posting, I noticed there was quite a bit of foreshadowing in this chapter. Hehe. What can you guys find that will happen in future chapters?? Anyways, the next chapter gets depressing again and there is a bit more of Sirius' POV. And more Regulus! Yay!

Here's you're little something from chp (what chapter are we on now?) 24: Pins and Needles ( I have NO idea how many chapters I titled after Billy Talent songs! Good thing I changed the title of chp 30 to a Senses Fail song. haha):

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I can’t talk here.” Regulus muttered.

“Well, then, let’s go,” Sirius stood.

“No. Sirius. . .” Regulus began, glancing at me, who had also stood, “Meet me in the Room of Requirement at midnight tonight. Alone.” Regulus’s empty dark eyes were pleading.

“Why?” Sirius asked.

“Because I need to talk with you. Just you. Please. Just come.” Regulus begged.

“Okay. I’ll be there.” Sirius nodded. Regulus nodded and shuffled away, dragging his feet. I noticed his shoes were caked in mud and looked more worn then I usually saw Regulus wear. Being a Black, appearance was an important thing, as Sirius had told me.

Now that we know where Sirius is, what in the world in up with Regulus. You Regulus lovers will be very sad to hear what this is all about. Sorry. I love him too. Oh well.

WOW! I still can't get over all those reviews. I just stare at the number in freakin shock wondering how I received them all. Please, keep being fantastical(that's a word, I swear it is) and review some more! It has made me so happy that I'm scared something bad is going to happen soon (always does. I get really happy and then something happens to make me sad again. Go figure).

Love you all SOO much that I wish I could give you all hugs. Wait! I can! *internet hug!!* Yeah, okay. Love you.

Chapter 24: Pins and Needles
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR. Lryics by the wonderful Billy Talent, again.

Chapter Twenty-Four
Pins and Needles

Accept this confession! …I’m walking on pins and needles
You’re not my possession! …I’m walking on pins and needles
My conscience is vicious! …I’m walking on pins and needles
And I’m begging forgiveness! …I’m walking on pins and needles

--Billy Talent "Pins and Needles"

I was walking beside Sirius. Or at least I THINK I was since Ace was walking rather close behind me. It’s hard to tell when Sirius is under an Invisibility Cloak to keep from being caught. Not many students knew that Sirius wasn’t allowed in Hogsmeade due to his prank on Snape. Only Snape knew really, and he never went to Hogsmeade anyways. So, as long as teachers didn’t see him, we should have a very pleasant date.

Once we were out of sight from the school, Sirius pulled the cloak off of him. After checking to make sure no one was watching, of course. He was right beside me, as always. He handed the cloak across Lily and back to James, who we were doubling with.

“I’m going to ask one more time,” Lily said conversationally, “How did you get Remus to impersonate you and do your detention?”

“Chocolate,” Sirius said with a sly grin, “Lots of chocolate, ten galleons, and my puppy dog face.”

“That’s an unfair trade,” I snorted, “No one can resist your puppy face.”

“Would you rather I do my detention?” Sirius asked.

“No. But I don’t like Remus doing it, either. Why couldn’t you get Peter to do it?” I asked.

“Peter can’t act like me. And besides, he said he had plans already.” Sirius said frowning, “Wouldn’t tell us those plans and I have no idea what he could be planning anyways.”

“Can you believe it’s April already?” Lily asked, looking at the ground. Fresh grass was lining the path down to Hogsmeade.

“Can you believe it’s been three months today since we learned about Kirsten?” I said, regretting the words the second they left my mouth.

“Way to dampen the mood, Libby,” James said, pouting. I knew he was thinking that it was almost four months since his father died.


We were at Hogsmeade by now. Entering the village with pleasure and lifting our moods. But we were looked around our spirits sank. Ace wasn’t sniffing everywhere like he had been doing as we walked. He but staying close to Sirius, tail between his legs. Lily voiced the question in our heads; What happened?

Hogsmeade has changed since I last came to pick up Ace. Many shops were closed down and boarded up. Others had ‘Help Wanted’ signs up in their windows next to Ministry warning of Voldemort and his followers. Ads on how to stay safe and what to be alert for. The streets were rather empty, even with Hogwarts student walking around everywhere, laughing quieter then usual and talking in whispers.

“He’s ruining everything, isn’t he?” James asked darkly.

“What?” Sirius asked, coming our of the trance he had gone into.

“Voldemort. He’s killing people and ruining families, he breaking trust between friends, he’s made it hard for people to live in happiness. And now he’s causing simple things like candy shops to close? If this is what Hogsmeade is coming to, what’s happening in Diagon Alley? Why can’t Aurors catch Voldemort? Why is he such a threat?” James’s voice cracked as he took a few steps forward. He turned back to us, “What’s going to happen to us? In our futures? Are we going to have kids? Will we be around to watch them grow? Will we be able to let them go out in their backyards to play? Or are we going to die before we can live our lives outside of school? Will the kids we have live to be over five years old? Will we still be friends, or will someone betray us? Will we be comfortable going to the end of our driveways to take out the trash or will we bring someone with us, wands out and at the ready? If this Voldemort continues to get stronger, the world we knew is going to fail. It already is beginning to. Everything we love is beginning to slip from our hands. Friends, family, everything. And it’s taken seeing a candy store being boarded up to realize that. As long as Voldemort is powerful, no one is safe. Not even dark wizards.”

James finished his speech and I noticed about five or six other students had stopped to listen to it. James didn’t look at them, but kept his eyes on me, Lily, and Sirius. We stared right back, knowing his words were true.

Without a word, we entered further into the village. We went to a few stores, buying something every so often. Then we stopped in the Three Broomsticks for lunch. Everything was quiet. Must quieter then usual. Like there was something that could not, and would not, be disturbed. We walked around for a while. Ace bouncing around tensely behind us. He knew something was wrong, too. We left Hogsmeade early. The silence and eerie feeling was beginning to close in on us and we needed air.

We felt the difference between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts the second we walked through the gates. Even Ace began to run ahead. Sirius, who was once again under the cloak, had his arm on my lower back, as if leading me back to the school. I felt relaxed to know he was there.


It was almost because everyone saw what was happening in Hogsmeade, the whole school finally understood the horrors of the war. Almost everyday now someone received an owl that caused them to run from the Great Hall in tears. Sirius would turn and glare at his cousins every time it happened, but they paid no mind to him.

It was Thursday afternoon in mid-April now. Sirius and I were eating lunch alone. James and Lily had disappeared and Remus was studying for exams in two months. Peter was once again missing and no one knew what he was up to. I was trying to see how well Sirius could catch peanut with him mouth. All the ones that dropped to the floor, Ace eagerly scooped up.

“You moved!” I laughed as another peanut fell to the floor, “It was going in!”

“No it wasn’t. That was a horrible toss,” Sirius argued.

“Okay, try again,” I said, feeling rather childish. I tossed another peanut and Sirius caught this one. We laughed as a few people around us, who had been watching, turned away, amused. Ace moaned in longing for another peanut.

“Sirius?” a voice so quiet that I thought I missed it said. We both turned to see Regulus, nervously twisting his hands and looking as if he hadn’t slept for weeks standing in front of us. Sirius, sensing something was wrong, looked at his brother with worry.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I can’t talk here.” Regulus muttered.

“Well, then, let’s go,” Sirius stood.

“No. Sirius. . .” Regulus began, glancing at me, who had also stood, “Meet me in the Room of Requirement at midnight tonight. Alone.” Regulus’s empty dark eyes were pleading.

“Why?” Sirius asked.

“Because I need to talk with you. Just you. Please. Just come.” Regulus begged.

“Okay. I’ll be there.” Sirius nodded. Regulus nodded and shuffled away, dragging his feet. I noticed his shoes were caked in mud and looked more worn then I usually saw Regulus wear. Being a Black, appearance was an important thing, as Sirius had told me.

Sirius sat back down, no longer playful. Ace seemed to sense the change of attitude from his master and raised himself so his front paws were on Sirius’s lap. Sirius absentmindedly stroked the puppy’s golden head. His eyes were focused on Regulus’s retreating form. Once his brother was out of the Great Hall, Sirius looked back to me. Those grey orbs were filled with worry.

“Did you see that scrape?” Sirius asked.

“What scrape?” I replied confused. Regulus was pretty much covered up with his robes and all. And his face, which looked so much like Sirius’s, was just filled with exhaust.

“The one on his neck. It looked nasty. Deep.” Sirius explained, “You would think someone attempted to cut his throat.”

“Ouch.” I winced.

“Something isn’t right.” Sirius muttered.

“And you’ll find out what tonight,” I said with the hope of calming Sirius’s worry.


I watched Libby sleep. She was cuddled up to my side, her body curved along mine. The warmth of her skin relaxing me. So peaceful she looked at she slept. No confused emotions when she saw something that reminded her of Kirsten, the war, or Mr. Potter. So much seemed to be happening to us. The prophecy was always on my mind.

And once everything calmed down. . .something horrible happened again. Something that would cause us to jump at the slightest sounds. Something that made us want to keep busy to forget about it. And I knew that whatever Regulus wanted to talk about tonight was going to throw the happiness I’ve felt the past few weeks out the window.

He was going to tell me something that will keep me awake at night, even with Libby beside me. I’ll begin to get careless with school once more because I can’t focus on anything but bad news. And then Libby will squeeze the news out of me. Just the way she looks at me makes me want to spill my heart out to her. Those caring eyes looking at me in such a loving way. The way I dreamed they would look at me since I started school.

I didn’t want her to have to suffer with more bad news with me.

When I pictured us being together, I thought that we were going to be extraordinarily happy together. I had pictured the biggest bump in our relationship was going to be her determination to do good in classes and my love for jokes. Never would I have dreamed that we would have a destiny. A horrible destiny. That someone would die because they made the mistake that Kirsten was the love of my life. That our lives are in danger every time we walk out the door.

I rolled onto my back and reached over to my side table to grab my watch I had set upon it. Five to midnight. It was best I go now. I hated to leave, knowing that Libby was going to awake the second I left the room. For how much I loved Libby, being so close to her made me nervous. If something happened to me, I knew that Libby were fall to pieces. Same if I lost Libby. I would never be the same. Ever.

Not able to waste anymore time thinking, I climbed out of bed and slipped my feet into my shoes. I hesitated, listening to the sounds of the dormitory. Peter’s heavy snoring, James’s soft mutters as he talked about Lily in his sleep, the sound of Remus moving somewhat violently in his sleep. He’d been having nightmares for the past few days now. But he never spoke to us about them. Whenever we asked, he just stared at us, wide eyed. Frank was the only one that was actually silent behind his bed hangings. I sighed and stood, turning around to tuck the covers more securely around Libby.

Ace woke up. His eyes glowed as he watched me move towards the door. Immediately, he stood. I tried to tell him to go lay down, but he just looked at me, tail wagging. I had no choice. I let Ace come out with me. He ran down the stairs a head, happy to be going out for a night time stroll. I followed and opened the portrait hole.

“And where do you think you’re going at this hour?” asked the stern voice of the fat lady. I jumped and spun around. She was have tea with someone from another portrait.

“Uh. . .my brother—er, needs to talk. With me.” I said lamely. All I needed was the fat lady screaming my whereabouts as I walked down the hall, drawing attention from Filch and his stupid cat that always hisses at Ace.

“The Slytherin boy?” the Fat Lady asked. I nodded mutely and then hurried down the corridor to the Room of Requirement. I didn’t bother with the cloak since I was still on the same floor and all, but I was nervous all the same. And not just because I could get caught.

I need a place to talk to Regulus, I thought as I walked back and forth in front of where the door to the Room of Requirement should be. It appeared after the third time.

Inside was nice and cozy. There were dark, walls and a fluffy carpet. I kicked off my shoes to walk on it. There was a nice merry fire crackling in front of two large, navy blue arm chairs. A small table sat between them, holding two bottles of butterbeer and a bowl of all sorts of candy. There was a bed in the corner for Ace, and he went over to it, sensing that we’ll be here for a while. I walked slowly to the arm chairs. The carpet was so soft that it was like walking on a cloud. I wondered how comfortable the chairs must be. I took a seat and found that they weren’t as comfortable as I had hoped. For a moment, I considered sitting on the floor, but then the door swung open once more.

Looking up, I saw Regulus. He was dressed much the same as me. He had on dark, cotton pants and a white long sleeved t-shirt. Just like me, he kicked off his shoes to feel the carpet better. His hair was hung limp and the shiny sheen it held was gone. I briefly wondered what type of shampoo he was using. He definitely could use some of mine that enhanced volume. The thought left my mind the second my eyes landed on the scrape across his neck that looked like someone attempted to behead him. Without his robes hiding it, I could see it only started at his neck and slithered down his chest. I saw bruises and smaller cuts on his arms, but none that looked suicidal. More like someone had been beating him. I stood up.

“What happened to you?” I demanded.

“I didn’t think you would show,” Regulus muttered, ignoring my question. He came towards me, more of a hop in his step as he enjoyed the feeling of the carpet on his feet. I knew I had done the same.

“Of course I would. Now what happened to you?” I repeated. Regulus sat down in the free arm chair and leaned back, acting as if this was the first time he could relax in days.

“That’s what I asked you to come here for, Sirius, be patient.” Regulus was speaking weird. He didn’t sound worried or scared like he did earlier at lunch today, but he didn’t sound like his normal self either. He was speaking in a dazed way. Calm and collected, but holding something back.

“Stand up,” I commanded pulling my brother to his feet. He was thinner then the last I remembered. Regulus seemed startled by my action. “Take off your shirt. I want to see that cut.” I said. Regulus didn’t move and I attempted to get his shirt off myself. I’ve had to do that a lot with James when we got back from a rather tough night with Remus. Sometimes, we were in just to much pain to do it ourselves.

“Okay, okay!” Regulus snapped pushing me off. He had more strength then I thought. He pulled off his t-shirt, keeping one arm in the sleeves, mumbling as he did so. I winced when I saw the cut. It went from his neck, across his chest, to his hip. It wasn’t as deep near his hip and I knew that whatever had happened, whatever had cut him, was further away there.

“Who did this?” I asked, thinking off all the potions and medical supplies that I knew would heal this. I’ve had much worse. But of course, that was because of a werewolf. This cut was to narrow to be a werewolf scratch. More of a knife wound.

“I was going to get to that.” Regulus muttered. A table appeared in the corner with the potions that I was thinking of. My brother eyes them curiously.

“Well, hurry up and tell your story, I’m getting impatient.” I snapped grabbing the potions and cotton wads.

“What is that?” Regulus asked.

“Potions. They’ll heal this right up.” I explained.

“How do you know?”

“Because I’ve had worse then this!” I snapped once more.

“While running around with a werewolf?” Regulus asked. I almost dropped the potion as my head snapped up. How did he know about that?

“Werewolf?” I asked nervously, trying to play dumb.

“I know about that, Sirius. I saw you change one night. And I figured our Remus months ago. It wasn’t hard.” Regulus shrugged, “I had followed Bella and the others out on the grounds two full moons ago. That’s where this whole thing starts.” Regulus shuddered. I knew it wasn’t because of the cold potion stinging at his wound either.

“I’m listening.” I urged.

“Well, as I said, two months ago I had heard Bellatrix, Rodolphus, and a few other seventh years talking about sneaking out to meet someone just outside of Hogsmeade. I knew they mean sneak out, but when I asked, they said they’ll tell me when I’m older. I followed them out of curiosity. I thought they were just still made for me sticking up for you the week before when I stuck up for you. Remember, after you learned you received Uncle Alphard’s fortune?”

“I remember.”

“So, I followed them thinking they were just going to get drunk or high or something. Nothing to interesting. But instead, they met up with about a dozen other people. All dressed in black cloaks and masks. I had a bad feeling of what they were. But I wasn’t sure. But then. . .” Regulus shuddered again and his voice trailed off.

“Then what?” I asked, even though I felt I knew the answer.

“He appeared, Sirius. The Dark Lord appeared. I heard him talk. I saw him torture. Sirius, it scared me, but I couldn’t leave.” Regulus’s voice cracked, “I watched Bella and the others pledge their loyalty to him. I watched them be burned with the Dark Mark. Oh, Sirius, Bella’s one of them. I know a few sixth years planning to join soon, too.”

I was stunned, “Bellatrix is a Death Eater? And she’s still in school?”

“Yes!” Regulus was crying now, “She’s working from inside the school. Getting more followers and spying on Dumbledore and you and Potter. The Dark Lord is especially interested in you. He knows of a prophecy that includes you and Libby. Or Libby, really. I know—”

“How do you know all this, Reg?” I interrupted.

“I’m getting to that,” Regulus gasped, “You know already?”

“Yeah. Dumbledore told the prophecies to me and Libby a while back. But Regulus, if there is Death Eaters in the school, then Dumbledore has to know. We need to tell him!” I said, already standing. I had long finished with Regulus’s scratch.

“No!” Regulus yelled, grabbing my arm, “You can’t. I can’t. There’s more to my story. A lot more. That’s what’s keeping me up at night.”

“What is it?” I asked, worried.

“They caught me. The Dark Lord spotted me as I tried to sneak away. I tried to run, but the Death Eaters caught up to me. It was Bellatrix that threw me at his feet. I’m selfish, Sirius, i know I am. That’s what makes me a true Slytherin. I was in a life and death situation and I, of course, chose my life for my own sake.” Regulus was choking on his words now and I barely understood them. But to my horror, Regulus’s body language told me exactly what he said. He slowly pulled his arm out of the sleeves of his shirt. Revealing the Dark Mark.

I was on my feet, away from him with my wand out. Pointing at his chest. Ace was growling. But Regulus didn’t move. He just sat there staring at the mark. He briefly looked at Ace in surprise, but got over it. His empty eyes landed on me. Only they weren’t empty. They were filled with pain and sadness. He pulled his shirt back over his head.

“I should have given up my life. I’m not loyal to him. I don’t even know how I lied my way through it. Mother and Father had taught me Occlumens, but still, my lies were pathetic to my own ears.” he said, his voice quiet, “I should have died for what I believed in. But standing in front of him, I didn’t know what to do. Since you were sorted in Gryffindor, Sirius, I’ve been the one to make our parents proud. They put so much pressure on me and the only thing that made me become a Death Eater besides to save me own life, was to make Mother and Father proud. I hate it, Sirius, I don’t want this kind of life. I mean, look at me. I’m a mess!”

“You can back out.” I said, “Talk to Dumbledore. He’ll help you. He’ll protect you. I know he will.”

“The Dark Lord will know if I go to Dumbledore,” Regulus whispered.

“You’re fifteen, dammit! You can’t be a Death Eater!” I yelled, “You haven’t even taken your O.W.L.s yet!”

“But I’m a Black. And the Dark Lord wants all the powerful families on his side.” Regulus said, “I have to say he is looking for a reason to get rid of me. I’m weak and a follower. He knows it. I was supposed to be one of his most important members, it was all over his face when he accepted me. But he doesn’t even look my way anymore. Another reason why he wants you. You’re strong and a leader.”

“And can probably overthrow his ugly face.” I said darkly, “Regulus, you’re a kid. You don’t have to go through with this. Dumbledore will help you.”

“I’m in to deep already, Sirius.” Regulus muttered shaking his head, “I just wanted to tell you all this to say good-bye, I guess. I doubt I’ll live much longer considering my loyalties. Won’t be long until the Dark Lord figures it all out.”

“Did he do that to you? The bruises and scratch?” I asked. Regulus snorted as he stood up and moved towards the door.

“No. I already told you I’m not important to him. He won’t waste his time torturing me. It’s Bellatrix and her gang that are doing this for the Dark Lord. It pleases him.” my brother had his hand on the door now.

“No, Regulus, I can help you.” I said hurrying forward.

“No one can help me,” Regulus said sadly, looking at the ground.

“I can!” I said firmly and shaking him. Regulus shook his head once more.

“Say good bye to Libby for me. I like her. She’s good for you. Take care of her and James and Lily, of course. They’ll have some hard times ahead, too. The Dark Lord is keen on catching them, too.” he said pushing the door open.

“Regulus, don’t do this. You don’t want it. Don’t be weak. Be strong! Stand up for what you believe in!” I said, feeling pain, anger, and desperation claw at my chest.

“I’m not strong like you, Sirius. I’m no where near it. I’ve always been the weak one.” Regulus shrugged. He started down the hall, but stopped and turned, I looked up hopeful, but Regulus said, quietly, “Know who your enemies are, Sirius, you may have a traitor in your midst soon.”

“And you can help me catch him before he gets to us!” I said, hoping Regulus would fall for it. But he just laughed darkly.

“Good bye, Sirius, I wish things had been different between us.” Regulus smiled a dark grimace. His two dimples showed and I remembered Libby’s liking for dimples. She would be hating them now.

I watched Regulus leave. Ace by my feet, he knew something was up. Once my brother was out of sight, I hesitated. I could go against Regulus’s wishes and talk to Dumbledore. Or I could let him do what he wants. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this is how life was supposed to be for him. Maybe this was his destiny. I was surprised to find I was crying. Things were never great between me and Regulus once I started school. Turning around I headed back to the common room whispering two words.

“Me, too.”

A/N: This was a fun chapter to write, even though it was rather sad. Writing in Sirius' POV is real fun to do. So rarely do I actually do it though. Ha. Anways, yeah, all you Regulus lovers probably hate me right now. . .I know I do. lol.

My good mood from last night is fading fast. School tomorrow and sitting alone. . .oh well. I have new CDs that need listening to still. And a new book. . .anyways, enough of me feeling sorry for myself. You wonderful readers/reviewers make me happy as ever. Sorta. Here's your little something from chp. 25(omg!) So I Need You, which I THINK is from 3 Doors Down.*goes threw pile of CDs* Yup. Forgot for a moment.

“Yeah, I know, but it’s better then nothing, right? I’ve been wanting to apologize since the beginning of April, but I was going to try and get you alone. But Black here never leaves your side, does he?”

“No,” I said proudly, “He doesn’t.”

“Well, if it works for you two, then whatever,” Ben said rolling his eyes, “Anyways, I’ve said what I wanted to, though I still believe that you’ll get hurt one day Libby.”

“Are you asking for me to hit you?” Sirius asked dangerously, taking a step forwards. Ben glanced at Sirius, smirked and then ran off. We stared after him for a while.

“What a loser,” Sirius said after a while. I laughed and we walked back to the common room.

Huh. The next chp. is a bit of a filler I think. And then chp 26. . .they go home for the summer. :( 6th year ends soon. Sad. So sad. ANYWAYS, let's move on and look forward to the next chapter instead of the next two.

Thanks so much for all the reviews(still in shock looking at that number)!! Keep it up!!

Chapter 25: So I Need You
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling, lyrics by 3 Doors Down

Chapter Twenty-Five
So I Need You

So I need you
Your imitation of my walk
And the perfect way you talk
It’s just a couple of the million things
That I love about you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
So I need you
And if I jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge,
Tell me would you still follow me
And if I made you mad today,
Tell me would you love me tomorrow?

--3 Doors Down "So I Need You"

I woke up from the sudden bouncing of the soft mattress. I opened my eyes just a little to see Sirius kicking off his shoes to lay back down. His eyes were saddened and his movements slow. I could tell that whatever he and Regulus were talking about wasn’t filled with to much happiness. I lifted my head up from the pillow softly in concern.

“What time it is?” I whispered.

“A quarter after one,” Sirius replied as he pulled the hangings over. His voice was flat and emotionless. My frown deepened and Sirius rolled onto his side, staring at me with through his sad, grey eyes.

“You weren’t gone to long then,” I noted. Sirius looked away, rolling back onto his back, putting his hands behind his head in frustration. I hesitated before adding, “What did he say?”

“He. . .I don’t. . .I don’t really want to talk about it,” Sirius said slowly. I bit my lip. Was it that bad that Sirius didn’t want to tell me? Or was Sirius still trying to make sense of it himself? Curiosity stabbed at my mind as I tried to think of what would make Sirius so. . .distant.

Yet, I didn’t want to make whatever happened for Sirius worse. I didn’t want him to feel that he had to tell me every little thing right on the spot. That he can trust me, talk to me, and come to me when he’s ready. So, instead of pressing Sirius for details of what happened just a few minutes ago, I got closer to him and wrapped an arm over his hard, warm chest. He automatically wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer. My head was no resting on his shoulder instead of the pillow and our legs were tangled together. He ran his hand up and down my side slowly and softly, sending ticklish chills down my spine. I looked up at him the best I could and pulled myself up to kiss Sirius lightly on the cheek.

“I love you,” I whispered. Sirius looked at me.

“I love you, too,” he said and kissed me gently on the forehead. Like so many other nights, we fell asleep. Safely wrapped in each other’s arms.


The next morning I woke up to find Sirius gone. My mind immediately told me to panic, which I did. I sat up so fast my head spun and pulled the hangings open. James was sitting on the floor, tying his shoes and laughing at something Remus, who was pulling his shirt over his head, had just said. Sirius was leaning against the wall by the window in that position that took my breath away. His hands deep in his pockets, hair falling in his eyes. His eyes were on his friends, but he wasn’t really watching. I saw conflict swimming through his eyes.

All three boys looked up startled when I yanked the curtains open. Sirius smiled when he saw me and crossed the room. James smirked with amusement while Remus continued to put his tie on right, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Scared much?” Sirius joked hugging me tightly.

“Oh shut up,” I muttered, breathing in Sirius’s sweet, addicting scent.

“Anything for you, love,” Sirius said into my hair. I giggled and James and Remus began to make gagging faces.

“Get a room!” James joked.

“How about you get out?” I countered. Sirius laughed, but the sound was forced and didn’t sound right.

I hurried and got dressed before we went down to breakfast. Sirius was obviously distracted, but I still knew better then to press. I trusted Sirius and knew he would tell me sooner of later. Until then, I’ll remain silent and act as if nothing is wrong. Curiosity was poking at me though, and I was going to burst any moment.

We walked into the Great Hall hand in hand. Taking a seat, I began to pile food onto my plate. Glancing at Sirius, I saw he buttered a slice of toast, but that was it. That was totally not normal for him. I watched him with worry as his eyes scanned the Slytherin table for his brother.

“Sirius,” I said slowly. Sirius looked at me, seeming startled that I was there in the first place.

“What?” he asked.

“What’s wrong? You seem distracted and aren’t eating. Is what you and Regulus talked about that bad?” I slipped my hand into his and moved closer to him. He rested his chin on the top of my head and sighed.

“I can’t tell you here.” he said slowly.

“Where can you tell me?” I urged.

Sirius stood up and grabbed my hand. He pulled me to my feet and out of the Great Hall. I hurried to keep up with his long strides. Once we were safely inside an empty class room, he searched around quickly. Finding nothing, he turned back to me and took both my hands.

“Regulus is a Death Eater.”

I stared at Sirius for minute in shock. First, I was shocked Sirius had told me so quickly and so suddenly. Then, I was shocked by Regulus’s weakness. I shook my head, not wanting to believe.

“What did you say?” I asked, hoping that I had misunderstood.

“He saw Bellatrix and some others get branded with the Mark one night a few months ago. He was caught watching and Voldemort gave him the choice to live or die. He had to join him to live,” Sirius said, sitting on top of a desk, “He said good bye. Told me that he was weak and a follower and shelf-fish. I don’t know if I can go to Dumbledore. Regulus said no one can help him. Libby, I don’t know what to do. He says he’s no important to Voldemort, but, Libby. . . Oh, Libby, every time he goes near Voldemort he’s a risk of revealing that his loyalties do not lie at the hands of Voldemort. He’ll be murdered.”

Sirius was upset, that was easy to see.

“Sirius, we need to go to Dumbledore. We both know that Dumbledore can and will help Regulus. We can go now. I’ll come with you.” I pulled his hand to take him there, but Sirius pulled away and walked to the other side of the room, staring outside the window.

“He’s expecting himself to die soon,” Sirius said oddly calm, “That’s why he said good-bye. I think he wants to die, Libby. I think he feels that death his only escape from Voldemort.”

I hesitated, thinking about what I was to say, and then very slowly, I muttered, “In a way, Sirius, death is his only escape. He’s marked. Voldemort owns him right now. No matter what protection he’s under, Voldemort will always be close behind. It’s hard to think about, Sirius, and there are other ways to save him, but do you think he’ll listen to anyone? Even Dumbledore. If he wants to die, don’t you think he’ll find a way no matter what?”

“That’s why I need to help him!” Sirius snapped so coldly I recoiled, “He can’t die! I haven’t made things better between us yet! There’s still a wall between us that was just beginning to come down! It can’t go back up, Libby, I can’t let it!”

I didn’t know how to respond to this, so I stayed silent. Letting Sirius gain control again. I was staring at the ground, biting my lip. Suddenly, I was in Sirius’s arms as he hugged me.

“I’m sorry.” he said. I wrapped my arms around his waist, “I’m just lost as to what to do. Tell Dumbledore, or let Regulus die?”

“We should tell Dumbledore,” I said quietly, “We may just be able to save his life and your relationship with him.”

“There’s more, too, Libby. Bellatrix is a Death Eater. There’s more then one in this very school. So close to us. Right under Dumbledore’s nose!” Sirius said nervously. His pulled me closer as if to protect me.

“We need to tell him!” I said, now fearful. The prophecies began to repeat themselves in my head.


Days pasted and Sirius wouldn’t let me take him to Dumbledore. He never let me out of his sight either. After he walked into the girls bathroom, I had begin to take Lily in there with me. I knew he was just trying to protect me and I loved being so near him all the time.

There was no sigh of Regulus at all. Sirius seemed very worried by this and began to search for his brother on the map only to find that he wasn’t labeled. Sirius kept telling himself that Regulus was in the Room of Requirement, but I began to wonder. Was Regulus still even in the school?

I tried to talk to Sirius about that. Regulus was saying good bye after all. But Sirius wouldn’t hear of it. He didn’t want to believe that Regulus was a Death Eater. At night, I know he barely slept, because I had a restless slumber myself. This was causing Sirius to much grief. Finally, a week and a half later and the night of the full moon, I told Sirius that we’re telling Dumbledore Regulus is gone.

“But gone where?” Sirius asked, more to himself then me. Bellatrix was walking out of the Great Hall and Sirius glared at her retreating form before jumping up and chasing after her.

“Oh no,” James said, jumping up himself.

“Sirius! James!” I called after them and then chased after them, leaving a very confused Lily and Peter alone.

In the Entrance Hall, Sirius had Bellatrix pinned against the wall, wand digging into her neck. James pulled his wand out and stood behind Sirius, wondering what was going on. I pulled my wand out, too, but I wasn’t planning on using it on Bellatrix. If Sirius got out of control, which was likely, someone needed to stun him or something. I heard Lily and Peter come up behind me and gasp. I threw a glare at Lily that told her not to speak. Let Sirius work this out for himself.

“I was wondering when you wanted to chat,” Bellatrix grinned, seeming to have no problem at all being pinned against the wall.

“Where did Regulus go?” Sirius asked angrily. James looked at me, knowing that I knew what this was about. I didn’t look back, I concentrated on Sirius.

“I don’t know, really,” Bellatrix replied, “He came in one night almost two weeks ago all upset. Look as if he had been crying, too, the pathetic—”

“Where did he go?”

“I’m getting to that! He came in and was all worked up. We, meaning Narcissa, Lucius and my dear Rodolphus asked him why he was showing such weakness. He told us he was leaving school then and went up to pack his bags. He was gone when we woke up. Probably took a night train back to London or something. Honestly, I don’t care.”

“He’s fifteen and underage!” Sirius yelled, poking his wand deeper into Bellatrix’s neck, “How can you not care?”

“Because he has learned a lot harder magic then he’ll ever learn in school. He doesn’t need to be taught anymore. No matter how unimportant he is, Sirius, he still learns the same spells,” Bellatrix was taunting him, and I jumped forward, pulling on Sirius’s arm.

“Stop this, Sirius!” I hissed, “She’s not worth it.”

“You know what she is!” Sirius rounded on me so fast that I lost my footing. Bellatrix was amused and stuck around to watch instead of running off. James and Lily were staring in shock and Peter in awe. Sirius was instantly sorry for yelling at my face and helped my up, looking ashamed.

“I know what I’m doing, Sirius, I’m not going to end up like you and your disgusting friends. Dead. That’s where you all will be in the next five years. None of you will survive the reign of the Dark Lord. Might as well say your good byes now.” Bellatrix threw back her head and gave a high pitched laugh. I glared at her.

“And you think that you’ll make it any longer? You’ll be in Azkaban by the time you’re 25.” I said darkly. Bellatrix laughed once more and then ran off as Sirius lunged at her.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said, looking at me.

“We have to see Dumbledore.” I said after kissing Sirius on the cheek. Sirius nodded and grabbed my hand, pulling me up the stairs. Once again, Lily, James, and Peter were clueless of what was happening. We had some explaining to do.


We burst into Dumbledore’s office quite suddenly. The Headmaster was standing by his Phoenix, talking quietly to a portrait. He turned when we entered and smiled, his eyes twinkling with surprise.

“Libby, Sirius, what a surprise,” he said and offered us seats as he took his own, “Would you like some chocolate?” he asked holding out a box of it. I eyed the chocolate before taking some, but Sirius turned it down, not being able to focus on food.

“Professor, this is important,” he said instead.

“Oh? What’s wrong?” Dumbledore was immediately serious and put his chocolates away.

“It’s Regulus, sir. He’s left the school,” Sirius said.

Sirius then told Dumbledore the whole story. How Regulus came to him, looking a mess, and asked to see him at midnight. Then he talked about how Regulus told him about his becoming Death Eater and how much he hated it. How Regulus called himself weak and a follower. How Sirius thinks Regulus wants to die to get away from Voldemort. Then he explained how Regulus became a Death Eater in the first place and how Bellatrix and other seventh years had joined, too, and were still in the school. Dumbledore listened silently.

When Sirius finished his story with what just happened moments ago, he was upset again. My hand was intertwined with his, trying to be of some comfort. Dumbledore was silent as he pondered all he had been told. The twinkle had disappeared from his eyes and something told me that Dumbledore knew of the Slytherins becoming Death Eaters. My heart seemed to slow as Dumbledore thought. Finally, he cleared his throat.

“Regulus is right; no one can help him, for he is already in to deep. If he had come to me right away, I could have protected him. If he turns his back on Voldemort now, I doubt I could protect him for a year,” Dumbledore said.

“What?” Sirius yelled, angry, “But your DUMBLEDORE! The most powerful wizard in the world right now! How can you not save him? He can’t die!”

“While I thank you for the compliment, I must brush it aside. Voldemort has powers like mine and has many plans up his sleeve. Regulus will never be safe again. He did the right thing to run away, though it’s a pity. He is still very young, not even sixteen yet. Hasn’t taken his O.W.L.s or N.E.W.Ts yet. . .” Dumbledore’s voice trailed off.

“So you’re not even going to do anything?” Sirius was outraged. Dumbledore stayed calm and clasped his hands together.

“There’s nothing I can do,” Dumbledore said grimly, “He is most likely with Voldemort now, not anywhere I can find him. I will, however, keep a watch on him so that if he is in danger, I will learn of his location and go to him. Only if he’s in danger though and my saving him may put him in even more danger. It’s a very complex spell that I will cast.”

“Thank you,” Sirius seemed comforted by this.

“Now I have to report students to the Ministry for meddling with the Dark Arts and Voldemort. I will contact them as soon as possible. Having Death Eaters roaming the ground is a danger to everyone at Hogwarts and I wish you had told me sooner. They are the most wanted people in the Wizarding World besides Voldemort himself,” Dumbledore said, still grim.

“Professor, what are we going to do about the ‘traitor’ Regulus had mentioned?” I asked remembering what Sirius had just told us.

“That is to expected. If you remember your prophecy, Libby, they say a friend betrays you. Who? I do not know,” Dumbledore replied. He sighed and leaned back, “Can you two take anymore horrors this year? Death, Prophecies, Death Eaters, Voldemort and now betrayal from a friend.”

“I’m surprised we haven’t gone mad,” I said quietly.

“You have each other, that’s why you are still so sane.” Dumbledore said looking up at us with twinkling eyes, “Don’t lose one another and never let Voldemort between you. It shouldn’t be long before he learns how much you two mean to each other. He’ll use you against one another. Don’t fall for his tricks.”

“We won’t,” Sirius said with determination and grabbed my hand, holding it tightly.

“Good. Now, you may leave. I don’t think there is much for us to discuss. Do not dwell on what is happening. The Death Eaters will be out of the school by morning and I’m sure Regulus has a few years left in him. He may think he is weak, but I believe him to be much stronger.” Dumbledore said.

We got up and left. Sirius was still holding my hand tightly and as soon as we were out of his office and the Gargoyle had leaped back into place, Sirius gently pushed me against the wall, kissing me softly. This surprised me and I leaned back against the wall before melting into the kiss and deepening it.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Sirius broke his off, slightly panting. He smiled at me and hugged me close. I rested my head on his chest, breathing in his scent.

“I love you, Libby,” he said.

“I know you do. I love you, too,” I whispered back.

“Hey! Sirius!” James called, “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Just something that happened with Regulus,” Sirius shrugged.

“Anything life threatening for the next 15 hours?” James asked frowning.

“No. Everything should be fine for now,” Sirius seemed to be trying to convince himself. I looked at James.


“Because Remus is running around the grounds alone right now with Peter,” James snapped. Sirius gasped, having completely forgotten with the whole Bellatrix/Regulus/Death Eater thing.

He kissed me softly before running after James to go run around the grounds. Worry instantly began to bite at my brain. I bit my lip before turning back to the common room. I haven’t talked with Lily girl to girl in a while now. It will be nice to spend the evening with her.


The second we entered May, Lily began to fret about finals. They weren’t until June, but that was only a few short weeks away. She made up schedules for time to study so no one would goof off. Remus was just as enthusiastic about the schedules as Lily was. James, Sirius, and I were staring at them with annoyance.

Don’t get me wrong, I am always on top of my work with the exception of my failing grade in Defense which I was able to bring back up. But I wasn’t to fond of schedules. Especially when 50% of it is classes, 45% studying, 5% eating, and 10% free time. Lily was proud of herself and none of us had the nerve to tell her this was pathetic.

Classes began to get harder. Teachers piled more homework on us to get all the last minute things in. I was fine with homework. The more I had to do the less time I had to remember about Death Eaters, Voldemort, and Prophecies.

The Ministry did come for the young, new Death Eaters the morning after Sirius and I talked to Dumbledore. However, some students were missing. Such as Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. They all seemed to know that we were going to Dumbledore and ran away from school to go into hiding. Ever since, I’ve had a hard time going to sleep thinking Bellatrix was going to come in and kill me in the night. Sirius would whisper things in my ear until I fell asleep. His soft breath on my neck.

But things were beginning to calm down again. It seemed that all the drama died down so Sirius and I could study.

James had given Lily a promise ring for her birthday at the end of April. She was so thrilled knowing that they were even more serious then before. At night James had began to complain that he had a girlfriend just as serious as Sirius and I, and she didn’t come to bed with him every night. He brought this up to Lily, who then tried to sleep in with James. She only came in every once in a while complaining that James hogged the bed and talked in his sleep.

I talked to Ben, too, in the past weeks. I was surprised when he had the nerve to approach me, with Sirius by my side, to talk. It was awkward at first.

“Hey,” he said. I just stared at him before finding my voice.


“Can I talk to you?” Ben asked. I looked at Sirius who was glaring daggers at my ex-boyfriend. I really didn’t want to talk to Ben, but how was I supposed to say no?

“You’re already talking to her, you prat,” Sirius said, grabbing my hand to show that Ben was not going to get me alone. I was grateful for that and reminded myself that I would need to thank Sirius later.

“What do you want?” I snapped.

“To apologize, I guess,” Ben said, “I’ve been doing some thinking and I suppose my behavior with you was out of order.”

“You suppose?” Sirius repeated, “You almost rape her and you suppose?”

“I wasn’t going to rape her, Black,” Ben said, honestly looking horrified at the thought, “I’m not that sick.” Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but I spoke over him.

“Kind of late for an apology, Ben,” I said.

“Yeah, I know, but it’s better then nothing, right? I’ve been wanting to apologize since the beginning of April, but I was going to try and get you alone. But Black here never leaves your side, does he?”

“No,” I said proudly, “He doesn’t.”

“Well, if it works for you two, then whatever,” Ben said rolling his eyes, “Anyways, I’ve said what I wanted to, though I still believe that you’ll get hurt one day Libby.”

“Are you asking for me to hit you?” Sirius asked dangerously, taking a step forwards. Ben glanced at Sirius, smirked and then ran off. We stared after him for a while.

“What a loser,” Sirius said after a while. I laughed and we walked back to the common room.

That’s where we are now. We’re supposed to be studying, but we can’t concentrate. Instead, Sirius is laying across the sofa with me on top of him. I was holding a Defense book up infront of us, but I had dropped it on the floor a while ago. Sirius is playing with my hair and I’m fiddling with a loose string on his robes.

“That’s not studying,” Lily said disapprovingly as she entered the common room. We smiled guilty smiles as Sirius grabbed the book off the floor.

“Sure it is! What else would it be?” Sirius asked.

Lily shook her head with annoyance and went up to the dormitory. It was a Friday night, she and James were sneaking down to the kitchens for a “date”. I smiled and looked up at Sirius.

“Wanna do something else?” I asked.

“Yes,” Sirius said immediately, “Let’s go crash James and Lily’s date!”

I grinned.

A/N: I know, what a complete filler of a chapter. I had nothing else to really do for this chp. Anyways i want to thanks you all for the reviews again. I have to say i'm in a great big shock still. lol.

now, for a little something from chp 26(wow!) Forever and for Always.

“Flower! Libby!” he said, “How are thee?”

“Thee?” I repeat with a laugh.

“Are you boys done packing?” Lily asked swatting the Snitch away from her hair.

“No,” Remus said folding some shirts into his trunk, “They’re just sitting there and all our stuff is mixed up. I just found a pair of Sirius’s boxers in my trunk and one of James’s shoes.”

“Yes, Moony, but at least my boxers were clean,” Sirius said, “Unlike James’s shoes. Those things looked like they were dropped in a sewer and left there to rot.”

“Aw, shut up,” James said, “They were that bad.”

“Well, the feast starts in a few minutes. We better get down there,” Lily said, slipping her arm in James’s and pulling him towards the door.

A bit of a happier chapter before they head home for the summer. lol. so sad the year is coming to the end. Just to know what's ahead, chp 27 is their summer and chp 28 is a quick over view of their 7th year. you probably know what chps. 29 and 30 are. So I won't say. Aren't you just dying to know how this connects with the HP books?? haha.

Yeah, for once i give you a short authors note. not much for me to say. Except that you guys are wonderful and amazing. So, yeah.

Love you all!!

Chapter 26: Forever and For Always
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: What you know belongs to JK Rowling. Lyrics by Shania Twain.

Chapter Twenty-Six
Forever and For Always

'Cause I'm keeping you
forever and for always
We will be together all of our day
Wanna wake up every
morning to your sweet face--always

(I wanna wake up every morning)

In your eyes--(I can still see
the look of the one) I can still see
the look of the one who really loves me
(I can still feel the way that you want)
The one who wouldn't put anything
else in the world above me
(I can still see love for me) I can
still see love for me in your eyes
(I still see the love)

--Shania Twain "Forever and For Always"

I bit my lower lip in concentration. For how hard Lily had me studying for exams, I was still stumped on at least one question on every subject. Now, here I was in Transfiguration, not able to remembering how to turn an animal into another animal. It was out last exam of the year, finally. The past week seemed to have gone slower then anything else and I was glad to almost be done. If only I could finish this answer.

Slowly, I peaked over at Sirius. He was leaning back in his chair, balancing on the back two legs, reading over his answers. As usual, he was one of the first ones done. Catching my eye, he grinned and I turned back to my paper in frustration with a glance at Mcgonagall who was pacing up and down the rows. She usually gave out practical exams, never written, but I suppose there was just to much we learned this year that needed testing on.

Thinking hard, I wrote down the answer the best I could, hoping and praying I was right, then I moved on. A question on Animagus. This I knew, thanks to Sirius and James. They told me almost everything there was to know about Animagi. I began to answer the questions easily.

“That test was so easy,” Sirius said as he and I left the room. James and Lily were right behind us, alone with Remus and Peter.

“Easy? It was so much less,” James laughed.

“Well, I thought it was challenging,” Lily said with dignity, “I mean, if you didn’t spend the first five years of your schooling studying N.E.W.T. level Transfiguration, it was something that made really made you think.”

“Actually, Lils,” Sirius said with a grin, “It was only the last four years. We didn’t even know until our second year.”

Lily rolled her eyes, but she smiled anyways. She was getting used to the whole idea of James, Sirius, and Peter becoming animals once a month, though I think she worried more then I did.

“Well, now that exams are done, I think I’m going to go out and fly,” James said looking outside one of the windows. It was beautiful day.

“I’m coming!” Sirius said quickly, also peeking out to look at the clear blue skies. Students were already on the grounds, lounging around after a week of exams. I suddenly felt extremely happy. Like nothing could go wrong.

The past weeks were hard on Sirius. He had finally excepted that Regulus was a Death Eater and hiding out with Voldemort. But I know he feared that he was going to be one of those students that get an owl in the morning, just to run from the great hall holding back tears. Every time an owl landed in front of him, he would get all stiff and worried and I would have to open it for him just to find a letter from his cousin Andromeda or from Mrs. Potter.

He finally relaxed, just recently. Dumbledore had talked to him, explaining about the “Tracking” Spell that Dumbledore was using on Regulus. Apparently, the spell will tell Dumbledore if Regulus is in danger and will receive his location. Only if he’s like moments from Death though. Regulus would always be in danger as long as he was a Death Eater. This was the most comfort to Sirius. To know that there was a way for Sirius to know Regulus was going to die and have a chance to save him or something. He actually began to pull pranks again.

The Marauders seemed to be trying to make up for the lack of pranks since winter holiday. The Slytherins were walking around the school in pairs and in fear for what the marauders had in store for them next. I have to say, it was amusing and I welcomed the laughs.

Things were almost back to normal again. It’s like now that the year is coming to an end, all the drama stops until we come back to school next year. For now, we enjoy the summer.

James and Sirius flew high as Lily, Remus, and I sat on the grass at the edge of the Quidditch field. We were laying back on our backs and watching them. Peter had disappeared, telling us he needed to do “something”. Something is up with that boy. It makes me wonder.

“This year went by so fast,” Lily said suddenly.

“No kidding,” Remus muttered. His eyes were closed as he relaxed, his hands behind his head.

“You guys can speak for yourself. I feel like this year has been the longest ever,” I laughed. Sirius and James were throwing a Quaffle back and forth and were now arguing who was going to pick it up from the ground.

“Well it sort of was, for you,” Lily said, “With Sirius in the beginning of the year, then Kirsten, and whatever secret you are holding back from us. Plus that whole Regulus thing. Lots of things happened in such a short time.”

“Things changed so quickly,” I agreed.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Lily asked. James and Sirius had forgotten the Quaffle and seemed to be having a brotherly “moment”. I cocked my head to the side with curiosity.

“You guys, probably,” Remus said without opening his eyes, “Usually when you aren’t around, you’re the topic of almost every conversation.”

“Are you serious?” I laughed, “What do they say?”

“The same thing usually. How gorgeous and wonderful you are. I have to say I get jealous sometimes. Sometimes I wish I had a relationship like yours.” Remus said, still without opening his eyes. He sounded as if he was falling to sleep.

“You will one day, Remus,” Lily said sitting up and smiling, “The perfect match is out there for you somewhere.”

“Can werewolves have perfect matches, Lily?” Remus asked, opening his eyes and staring at Lily questioningly.

“Anyone can have a perfect match,” I said, for Lily seemed lost of words. Remus sighed and closed his eyes once more.

I felt bad for Remus then. He feels that because of his condition, he’ll be alone his whole life. You would think Sirius and James would have convinced him otherwise. I found myself hoping that he would find love someday.

James and Sirius flew till it was dinner. Lily and I grew bored and I was going to go back and get my own broom, but Lily convinced me to go back to the common room with her and have some time to ourselves. We left Remus, who was very much at ease laying in the grass, dozing.

We were barely to the doors when someone came whooshing beside us. I jumped about twenty feet and spun around to see Sirius, grinning, hovering just inches from the ground.

“You scared us. I didn’t know where you went,” Sirius said kissing me.

“Must I be in your sight all the time,” I teased.

“Yes, actually, you must. Otherwise I worry so and can barely keep my head on straight,” Sirius nodded honestly. I kissed him again and then, somehow, Sirius got his arms under me and lifted me onto his broom so I was sideways.

“Well, doesn’t this bring back memories,” I laughed.

“It does. Just one day before you finally admitted you liked me,” Sirius said smiling, “Of course, then, I was completely freaked out that you were going to die and not a foot from the ground.”

“But you caught me,” I pointed out.

“Yeah, I did,” Sirius kissed me again.

“See you guys later,” James said pulling on my arm like a three year old would his mother, “We’re going inside.”

“To snog?” Sirius joked.

“No!” James defended.

“We’re going flying.” Sirius said, “Bye,”

“What?” I gasped, “No Sirius! Not when I’m sideways!”

But it was to late. Sirius raised the broom up and I clung onto Sirius for dear life while he navigated the broom with one hand and held onto me with the other. He wouldn’t let me fall. He’s die before he let me fall. I felt myself relax, but still hung on to him.

The wind pushed my hair from my face and tickled Sirius’s neck. He laughed as he pushed it away.

That was our afternoon. Flying around the grounds. I have to say I was worried about falling even if I had relaxed. I was sitting side ways on a broom! I almost slid off every time we turned. But I enjoyed myself. I was in Sirius’s arms and that was all i needed. The world was in dark time, but as long as I had Sirius, I will be safe.


I packed the last of my robes into my trunk. The drawers were empty and the closet cleaned out. Only a few remaining books and some socks that were missing it’s pair were left. I shut my trunk tight, wishing that I didn’t have to go home just yet. That there were a few more weeks of school left.

My uncle was not going to let Sirius sneak into my room at night. We both knew that. And I doubt my aunt would care for it either. We were both going to be in a rather long, sleepless summer. But that didn’t matter because we’ll be by each other during the day, sitting by the lake and enjoying the freedom from school.

“All done,” Lily said with a sigh. I nodded.

“Same here,”

“I’m surprised so much of our stuff was in the boys’ dorm,” Lily said
conversationally, i noticed the Orrin twins throw us jealous glares, “I mean, we didn’t spend that much time in there.”

I nodded once more, we had gone back and forth between dorms collecting our things. Each time we found Sirius and James just sitting back while Remus packed his things. Peter was packed already and had gone out. Weird how he seemed to have so much to do. I mean, he’s not as popular at the other Marauders.

“Let’s go see how James and Sirius are doing.” I said leading the way out of the dormitory. Lily followed eagerly.

The boys were as we left them before. Sirius was laying on his bed with Ace on top of him, the growing puppy raised his head lazily as we entered and then, seeing it was no one special, laid his head back on Sirius’s stomach. James was playing with that Snitch, something I haven’t seen him do all year long. He let it fly free when he saw Lily enter behind me.

“Flower! Libby!” he said, “How are thee?”

“Thee?” I repeat with a laugh.

“Are you boys done packing?” Lily asked swatting the Snitch away from her hair.

“No,” Remus said folding some shirts into his trunk, “They’re just sitting there and all our stuff is mixed up. I just found a pair of Sirius’s boxers in my trunk and one of James’s shoes.”

“Yes, Moony, but at least my boxers were clean,” Sirius said, “Unlike James’s shoes. Those things looked like they were dropped in a sewer and left there to rot.”

“Aw, shut up,” James said, “They were that bad.”

“Well, the feast starts in a few minutes. We better get down there,” Lily said, slipping her arm in James’s and pulling him towards the door.

I then slipped my arm through Sirius’s and began to pull him away. I paused next to Remus, who seemed a bit lost, and slipped my other arm through his.

“I feel lucky,” I said with a grin before pulling both boys out the door and down the stairs. We awkwardly got throw the portrait hole and started out for the Great Hall. Ace was running along behind us, his tail wagging like crazy.

“Oooh! We’re off to see the wizard!” Sirius began to sing very loudly, his voice crack. Remus and I joined in, “The wonderful wizard of oz!”

We turned heads as we skipped through a secret passage and then into the Great Hall, still singing. We laughed as we collapsed in our seats next to James, Lily, and Peter. I smiled at him and said in a teasing voice, “Finally decided to join us?”

“W-what?” Peter looked suddenly very nervous and very guilty. Sirius eyes him suspiciously, but then turned to James to tell him about something he had recently discovered about the last passage we had used. I stared at Peter a little longer. He squirmed under my gaze for a while before finally turning to Remus and starting conversation. I looked away.

For a while, I sat there content and happy. Then Dumbledore stood to make his end of the year speech. I felt a bit disappointed the year had ended, but I also felt relieved. Never again will I have to repeat the pain and sufferings of this past year. Neither will Sirius or Lily. And James. Especially James. He’ll just have to get past the obstacles of the first summer without his father.

I turned my attention to Dumbledore knowing that he was going to give us a warning that I would like to hear. Plus, there was the announcement of the House cup. I glanced over at the hour glasses filled with gems. I was surprised to see that Slytherin was the highest. Gryffindor was close in second followed by Ravenclaw and then Hufflepuff. I sighed. Guess that’s one of the consequences of having the Marauders in your house.

Even if they didn’t do much this year.

“The end of the year has come at last. I hope you all learned more about yourselves and others, as well as magic. It is now that time to announce our house cup winners.

“In forth place, we have Hufflepuff with 390 points.” polite applause from everyone erupted. The Slytherins smirked, “In third place, with 425 points, we have Ravenclaw!” the clapping was louder this time, but still not great, “With 465 points, we have Gryffindor!” despite the disappointment of losing, the Gryffindors whooped and cheered sending the Great Hall into surprise by our enthusiasm, “And finally with 480 points we have Slytherin!” the Slytherins went crazy, but even their cheers did not meet the applause for Gryffindor. The other three houses clapped once or twice, but then stopped. Gryffindor booed.

“Now, before I begin my speech that will put a rather large damper on things, let’s enjoy our End-of-the-Year feast the house-elves so kindly made us. Tuck in!” Dumbledore said grinning and food appeared in front of us just as it did during the Start-of-Term feast. Everyone began to eat.

“I’m surprised Dumbledore decided to make his speech last. At least if he made it now, it would sink in a bit,” Lily said as she piled mash potatoes onto her plate and then James’s. He took more when she was done.

“No, I’m glad he didn’t. Like he said, warning people about Voldemort would put a damper on things. Right now everyone should be enjoying themselves,” I said putting steamed carrots onto my own plate and reaching for the chicken cutlets.

“I agreed,” Sirius spat with his mouth full of food.

“Sirius, chew then swallow,” I said wrinkling my nose.

We then moved onto much more pleasant topics. James, Sirius, and I talked about Quidditch the games that will be close to us over the summer. Lily and I then talked about spending a day together in London shopping. Some things were so random, I won’t remember them until we’re once more talking about random things. Once we finished eating the desserts appeared. I had saved just enough room and was slightly disgusted when Sirius piled almost every dessert he could reach onto his plate. The boy could eat.

When that was cleared away, everyone was sleepy and ready to finish packing so they could go to bed. The chattered had deceased somewhat and eager glances were thrown to Dumbledore. Finally, he stood and all talk ceased completely.

“Now, for my warnings.” Dumbledore said, “Most of us have had a hard year. We’ve faced death of not only students, but arrests of Death Eaters in the school, not to mention escapes. We are entering dark times and you all must remember to keep all your love ones close to you. Don’t push them away. You must also keep your enemies close, for knowing what is in their heads may be your only means of survival. Once you enter your home, far away from Hogwarts, you will be in danger at all times. Do not let Voldemort sneak up on you. Be on your guard and be safe.

“With that said, I wish you all a good night and safe travels tomorrow. Have a happy summer!”

Everyone slowly got up. First years and seconds years looked frightened now to be going home. Seventh years looked startled to finally realize what leaving the safety of school walls will mean. I bit my lip, glad to be coming back just one more year. Sirius walked very close to me as we went back to our dormitories.

I left his side for a minute to change into my pajamas. When I returned to his room, the boys were already in their pajamas and climbing into bed. I jumped on Sirius’s, chasing Ace off it. The golden dog went over to his bed near by and curled up, watching me with puppy dog eyes. Sirius, who was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, turned off the light and reentered the room. He grinned when he saw me.

“Hello, love,” he said wrapping his arms around my waist and holding me close to him. I smiled as he kissed me softly.

“Hello, Snuffles,” I giggled.

“Guys,” Remus said from the next bed over, “Please, close your hangings if your going to be like that.”

“Oh, you’re just jealous,” Sirius said and I crawled under the covers. Sirius got under with me and pulled his hangings over to Remus’s laughs.

It was a few minutes before the whole room went silent. After that, it took a few minutes before I was able to fall asleep. Sirius’s scent filled my nose in a comforting way and his light breathing on my hair felt good. Before I knew it I was in a dreamless sleep.


The next morning was hectic as I checked to make sure I had all my things and everyone made their way down to the Great Hall for a quick breakfast before catching a carriage back down to the Hogsmeade Train Station. I didn’t even eat breakfast with Sirius since he hadn’t packed to well the night before and was rushing to get all his stuff now. He’s such a procrastinator.

I was about to get in a carriage with Lily, when someone grabbed me around the waist from behind. I shrieked, causing heads to snap in my direction, and struggled to free myself before I realized the laugh that I loved.

“Sirius!” I said, “You scared me!”

“Oh, I would have never guessed,” Sirius kissed me on the cheek, “I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you. I was going crazy!”

“Sure you were,” I said climbing back into the carriage. James, Remus, and Peter were already in there with Lily. Sirius got in and put me in his lap. I laughed.

“Can you believe we’re leaving?” he asked, watching the castle get further away, “I feel like we just got here!”

“Just wait till next year this time,” James said sadly, “We’ll be leaving for good.”

“Yes, but then we could help capture Voldemort,” Sirius said excitedly.

“Just think,” Remus groaned, “These two, Aurors.”

“Oh, I don’t feel safe anymore,” Lily said feigning worry. We all laughed a little.

I turned to watch the castle. It looked so beautiful right now. Like something out of a fairy tale. I sighed watching it. That was my home. It would be a shame to be leaving next year. I would miss this place. Maybe I should consider teaching?

I smiled to myself. Picturing myself teaching amused me. I wouldn’t last a year. Maybe two years. Watching all those kids would be horrible. I mean, even Professor Humphrey quit. She said something about needing to broaden her horizons and teaching just was not cutting it for her.

The carriage came to a stop after a while. Sooner then I had hoped. We all climbed out and dragged our trunks onto the train. Lily searched for an empty compartment and grinned when she found one. Sirius and James put our trunks away and then we all sat down much like we did the beginning of the year. James and Lily were stretched out on the floor and Peter was by the door, already searching for the food trolley. Remus was across from him reading a book silently. The only thing different, was that I was leaning against Sirius lovingly, not trying to escape his touch and smell.

And then there was Ace. Sitting across from me on the seat, his tongue hanging out. Already, the puppy was big and older looking after three months. He was still the cutest little thing, but not the tiny little puppy I bought him as.

We waited in silence before the train started to move. When it finally did, James and Sirius started a game of wizard’s chess. I watched with amusement and Lily took out a book and began to read like Remus was. All in all, the train ride became rather boring and rather long. I began to fidget in my seat and Ace was dying to get out and run around.

For how much I already missed Hogwarts, I was glad when the train stopped. We climbed off with the rush, dragging our trunks behind us. I went across the barrier with Sirius. James and Lily followed and then Remus and Peter. Peter ran off to his parents after a quick good by. Remus then hugged me and Lily and then said bye to his two best friends before going off to his own parents. The rest of us made our way to my Aunt and Uncle and Sandra Potter.

“Libby!” Aunt Becky hugged me tight, “How was school?”

“Fine, thanks,” I said hugging her back.

“Oh! Jacob!” My Aunt let go of me and grabbed my younger brother, hugging him just as tight as me.

“Have a good term, Libs?” Uncle Scott asked me, also hugging me.

“It was alright,” I said laughing. Uncle Scott then turned to Sirius, who was watching us from a few feet away. My heart sped up.

“Hello, Sirius,” Uncle Scott held a hand out to Sirius, “I assume you’re term was just alright, too?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius said, nodding and shaking my Uncles hand.

“I’m sorry, Sirius, but I think I owe you an apology,” Uncle Scott said suddenly, shocking both me and Sirius, “I didn’t trust you at all last Christmas when I really should have. You did nothing to make me think you untrustworthy, and I hope you forgive me, since I believe I’ll be seeing a lot of you this summer.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, sir,” Sirius said politely, “But I appreciate it all the same.”

After our little reunion, we all got into the expanded Ministry car the Potters owned, but not before saying good bye to Lily.

“I’ll see you this summer, okay? We’re going shopping and you’re going to come stay with us, okay?” I said hugging her.

“Okay. And remember to write,” she said. Then she turned to Sirius, hugging him and then James, whom kissed her deeply as a good bye. He didn’t care that his mother was standing right there(she quickly looked away, turning pink) or that Lily’s parents were watching, too, plus her sister. He was saying good bye to the girl he loved and that’s all that mattered to him.

Now we all sat in the car. Jacob was sitting next to James. They were playing thumb-o-war and arguing over who’s cheating. I leaned against Sirius, who had his arm around me and holding my hand in his other.

So much changed this past year. So much that we couldn’t avoid, so little that we could. Each change I hate. Still even. Except one. And that’s that I finally realized the good in Sirius. How I fell in love with him and really learned what love is all about. My longing for him will last forever and I know it. The thought sort of scared me. But that doesn’t matter because I’ll always have Sirius with me.

Forever and for always.

A/N: Aw, ain't that cute? Okay, just kidding.

Anyways, yeah, i didn't get to check all my reviews last night. My mom had an icident at work and I had to type up a report for her about it. And now i have to go finish reading Great Expectations. Huh. I had like, no homework tonight and I didn't get to do much today. lol. How odd. . .

Okay, I'm not going to bore you anymore. I know the only reason you read these abnormally long author notes is to get the excerpt from the next chapter. lol. So, here's a little something from chp. . .(what chapter?) 27! It's called: My Only One(titled after Yellowcard. The ONLY song i like from them.)

“You killed me in the last one,” I confessed. Sirius’s eyes grew wide, “You were a Death Eater and you killed me. I don’t want that dream again.”

Sirius pulled me close to him, crushing me against his chest. I breathed in his scent and felt my heart speed up again. My air supply was being cut off, but I didn’t care. I needed Sirius more then air.

“I’ll never hurt you Libby. Or join Voldemort.” Sirius said with such force that I knew it was the truth.

“Um,” Uncle Scott coughed in the doorway. We both looked his way and I shook my head and grabbed hold of Sirius. I felt like such a child, but I didn’t want him to go.

“He can’t leave me, Uncle Scott,” I said seriously.

Geez, what a horrible dream to have about the guy you love. . .what was going through my head?

Now, I don't have much to say and because i haven't read all my reviews, i have no idea if anyone asked me any questions I can go on and on about. But, I will thank you once again for all my reviews(which I still can't believe have reached a high number!) and hug you all once more! Mwah!

Love you!!

Chapter 27: Only One
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: It's all borrowed from JKR. Lyrics by Yellowcard

Chapter Twenty-Seven
Only One

feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

--Yellowcard "Only One"

For the first three weeks of the holidays, I literally didn’t sleep. Not one minute of the night. During the day, when Sirius and I would be laying out by the lake or sitting on the couch in my house watching the Muggle television, we would fall asleep, but never exactly caught up on it. Sirius had told me he wasn’t sleeping either and James rolled his eyes telling us how Sirius keeps him up all night with his twisting and turning in another room.

My Aunt and Uncle noticed I wasn’t sleeping, too, but I couldn’t tell them my lack of sleep was because Sirius was not with me. I wouldn’t be allowed back to Hogwarts if they knew I’ve been sneaking into the boys dormitories every night. I doubt I would ever be allowed out of the house. Or to see Sirius without an adult chaperone. We’ll be going back in time to when it was unheard of for me to be alone with my lover.

Finally, after those horrible three weeks, I began falling into a light doze. But those light dozes brought nightmares. Sometimes I would wake up gasping for breath and shaking. Other times I’d go right through the night in the horrible dreams just to wake up to bright, beautiful mornings. I was still exhausted all day and Sirius reported that he would have strange dreams. Not nightmares, but strange dreams of dark, damp rooms like the dungeons in Hogwarts. But darker. I would be dreaming of losing Sirius forever in horrible ways. Whether it was Voldemort taking him away from me or him breaking it off with me because I wasn’t good enough.

Then came the night where my Aunt and Uncle decided to do something about these sleeping habits.

It was the beginning of July and a warm, clear night. I had opened my window hoping that the night time sounds would be of comfort. My uncle had put protection on all the windows and doors so an alarm will go off if anyone tried to enter the house. I had a feeling he had done it for reasons other then Voldemort. The fact that the boy I was heads over heels in love with lived next door seemed to make him uneasy.

Anyways, I had laid down, trying to calm myself so I wouldn’t have any strange dreams. As soon as I felt sleep coming on, I welcomed it while clearing my mind. But it didn’t work. My dream was of darkness and Voldemort arrived. I had only seen Voldemort in Dumbledore’s pensive and this was scarier. More real. He had Sirius and was holding his wand to Sirius’s head with his pale, long fingers. I begged for him to let Sirius go. I told him to take me instead. Even in my dream, which I knew it was a dream for how real it was, I couldn’t let my Sirius go. I needed him.

Voldemort listened to me though. I seemed to be more important then Sirius. But he wanted to watch me suffer. He ordered Sirius to “show me” and I looked at Sirius, my heart was beating a mile a minute and I already could feel myself shaking, getting ready to wake up and escape the dream. Yet, I was still dreaming. I saw Sirius lift the sleeve to his robes. The Dark mark.

I screamed bloody murder and wrestled away from Voldemort, who’s grip was to strong. Then Sirius pointed his wand at me and yelled “Avada Kedavra!” With a blast of green light I woke up, screaming myself hoarse.

Sitting up straight, I looked at my window. I could have sworn I saw a face looking in, but I wasn’t sure if it was my dream just lingering around me. Nonetheless I jumped for bed and ran to my window, still screaming. I slammed it shut and then fell to the floor, curling into a ball still screaming. My aunt and uncle ran in, Jacob on their heels.

“Libby!” Uncle Scott yelled, seeing me on the floor by my window. My aunt wrapped me in her arms shushing me. I was crying. I hadn’t even realized it, but I was in hysterics.

“It’s alright Libby, everything’s okay,” Aunt Becky said rocking me.

“Was there something outside, Libby?” Uncle Scott asked softly. I was shaking uncontrollably and my voice was scratchy from all my screaming. My tears still came.

“N-no.” I said, for now I knew that the face I saw in my window was just the after effects of my dream and nothing more.

“Libby, was it another nightmare?” my Aunt asked rubbing my back. Her touch gave me goose bumps and caused me to shake harder. I managed to nod my head.

“What can we do, Libby? It was just a nightmare. Not real at all,” Uncle Scott said. They were helpless. I was in a state that was beyond their ability to fix and they were lost of what to do.

“How can we make this better, honey?” Aunt Becky asked, trying to make me say what I needed. The would do it for me, I knew. But I only manage to whisper one word that I doubted anyone could hear.


Jacob ran from my doorway, and my uncle called after him in confusion. It wasn’t like Jacob to run off without an explanation. I shook harder. My aunt tried to calm me. A weird buzzing filled my ears, but I heard my aunt say frantically to my uncle, “Do you think she’s having a seizure?”

“No, no,” came Uncle Scott’s voice, “This isn’t a seizure. She’s freaking out. Panicking, I would say. What do we do? Call the hospital?”

I was able to see everything clearly and saw the scared looks on my Aunt and Uncle’s face. That wasn’t calming. Then I looked at the door just as Jacob, James, Mrs. Potter, and Sirius came in all worried, Ace tumbled in with a confused look after them. The second Sirius saw me on the ground, shaking and scared, he was by my side. Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott moved away to give him space. Instantly, the feeling of being in his arms calmed me. My shaking slowed then came to a stop and my fear subsided. All that was left was my falling tears and my gasping breaths.

“Amazing,” I heard Aunt Becky say to Sandra and James out in the hall as I leaned against Sirius’s chest with closed eyes, “It was like all she needed was to see him and everything was okay.”

“What happened?” asked James.

“Nightmare. She has them all the time now. Was it like this at school?” Uncle Scott explained. I knew they were looking in at us.

“Uh, no. Actually, Sirius hasn’t been sleeping well either. I-I think it because, well, Libby would come into our dormitory every night the past few months.” James said quickly. I was just glad I wouldn’t have to tell my uncle myself.

“What?” Uncle Scott asked after a moment of silence.

“I dunno. They are attached to each other. Being away from each other makes the other nervous. They need to be by each other like all the time. It literally is a need.” James explained, and I knew he had looked at Sirius for permission to go on. I had seen Sirius give a curt nod. Now, Sirius was paying attention to me. Not what was going on outside.

“They’re so young,” Aunt Becky said. Sirius lifted me into his arms and stood up, walking me back over to my bed.

He laid me down gently and untwisted my sheets, wrapping them around me tightly. Slowly he backed away and I sensed he was leaving. I sat up and grabbed his arm. My eyes were pleading as I looked up into his grey eyes.

“Don’t leave me. Please. Stay,” I begged.

“Libby,” Sirius kneeled down and looked at my face. He took it in both hands and kissed me softly, not caring that my Aunt and Uncle were watching from the doorway. For once, really seeing how in love Sirius and I really were, “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

“The nightmares, they’ll come back,” I whispered, taking a handful of his shirt in my hands and looking so deeply at him. He could see the fear in my eyes.

“Sshh, I know. I don’t like the dreams either, but I can’t stay, love,” Sirius said softly. I looked away.

“You killed me in the last one,” I confessed. Sirius’s eyes grew wide, “You were a Death Eater and you killed me. I don’t want that dream again.”

Sirius pulled me close to him, crushing me against his chest. I breathed in his scent and felt my heart speed up again. My air supply was being cut off, but I didn’t care. I needed Sirius more then air.

“I’ll never hurt you Libby. Or join Voldemort.” Sirius said with such force that I knew it was the truth.

“Um,” Uncle Scott coughed in the doorway. We both looked his way and I shook my head and grabbed hold of Sirius. I felt like such a child, but I didn’t want him to go.

“He can’t leave me, Uncle Scott,” I said seriously.

“I’m charming your room. If you try anything or even think it, Sirius, I’ll know,” Uncle Scott said waving his wand around. My room glowed purple and my bed pink. Then it faded and Uncle Scott and Aunt Becky seemed satisfied.

“Good night then,” James said, smiling.

Jacob was the last one to leave. My Aunt and Uncle went back to bed and James and Sandra went to sleep in the guest rooms, to lazy to go back next door. But Jacob stood there, watching Sirius climb under my covers beside me. The way nothing went off or how close Sirius pulled me closer to him. I was watching Jacob though, and Sirius turned to him, too.

“Love does exist,” he said, shaking his head with amazement. He left my doorway and went to his own room. I looked at Sirius and he looked at me.

“I love you,” I said.

“I love you, too,” Sirius smiled and he caught his mouth with mine. The kiss only last a few seconds before we cuddled up and fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time all summer. Ace curled up in the corner of the room, saddened to have to sleep on the hard floor, but content with seeing his master finally have a restful sleep.

With my Aunt and Uncle seeing how much I needed Sirius, they began allowing him to sleeping in with me every night. Of course, my Uncle never forgot to charm my room just incase it wore off. Not once the whole summer was the charm needed and by the end of July, my Uncle and Sirius was very close.

Yet, I began to really look at how close Sirius and I were. It wasn’t like I wanted to spend less time with him or break up with him. He was what kept me whole. But how much I needed him scared me. What if something like my dreams came true? What if Sirius and I were split apart together? What would I do then? Sit in the corner every night rocking back and forth?

Lily came over at the end of July, though she spent more time with James then with me. They were in love, too. I was sad to think that Kirsten never got to love. I missed her this summer. When Remus and Peter came over it was sort of odd without Kirsten.

Lily and I did take that shopping trip to London. I had half of the two way mirror in my pocket incase I needed to talk to Sirius. Lily poked fun at me for carrying it, but I didn’t need to use it after all. We were having a great time shopping and buying clothes. I bought Sirius his birthday present and Christmas Present and I was glad for that. No more having to sneak out to what’s left of Hogsmeade.

Even though it was great to be out of school, it was also sort of horrible. Anywhere you went, whether you were surrounded by Muggles or Wizards, you could feel the tension in the air. Everyone was frightened of everyone else. The streets of Diagon Alley were almost empty. Friendships broke up because they couldn’t trust each other and lovers were rushing to get married. Maybe then they would live longer together and have a family.

Every day a new death or missing person would be announced. Sometimes they were people I knew and other times I didn’t. Twice, I went to a funeral. Two Hogwarts students died over the summer thanks to Voldemort, and so many more lost their families. I was surprised there were no more attacks on my family or the Potters. After Christmas, I was terrified that I would see a Death Eater walking up our driveway any moment.

The only thing that made me calm was, of course, Sirius. Just like the only thing that calmed Lily was James. We had our love to keep each other happy and somewhat safe. Just feeling safe was comfort to me, even if I knew that no matter what I do, if Voldemort was still out there killing and tearing the world apart, then I was unsafe. The world was unsafe. Everyone was in danger of betrayal and death. But as long as you had love and faith in someone, then you had a reason to fight. To try and over throw Voldemort.

As summer drew to a close, Dumbledore requested a meeting with James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Sirius, and me. We met him in a privet room in the Leaky Cauldron. The old professor had put a silencing charm on the doors and walls and then turned to us. I had only seen him a serious as this when he explained the fate Sirius and I held. I grabbed Sirius’s hand hoping he wasn’t going to tell us something like that.

“You are probably wondering why I called you here?” Dumbledore asked.

“Yes, sir,” we said quietly.

“First, I am going to ask you questions that only you would know,” Dumbledore said. Just in case we were imposters, I knew. He looked at James, “What do you and your friends used to get around the school unnoticed that your father had given to you?”

“His old Invisibility Cloak,” James said instantly, looking surprised that Dumbledore. The professor smiled at James’s curious look.

“Your father had warned me that you had a cloak in your second year,” He explained, then looked at Lily, “Who is your sister engaged to?”

“Vernon Dursley, the old prune,” Lily said darkly. I wondered why Dumbledore would ask Lily that question. Surely a Death Eater would learn of her family. Even if they were Muggles. He turned to Remus.

“What happened this past year that includes your condition?” Dumbledore asked. Remus sighed.

“Sirius told Severus Snape where I go to transform into a werewolf,” He said and Sirius looked at his hands guiltily.

“Alright, Peter,” the Professor looked at Peter, who seemed to shrink, “How did you become friend with James, Sirius, and Remus?”

“A group of Slytherins were picking on me and they stuck up for me. Then I started to follow them around and they sort of accepted me as one of them,” Peter squeaked nervously. Dumbledore nodded, satisfied, and then looked at Sirius.

“Sirius, what are you going to do some day in the future?” he asked. James, Remus, and Lily looked up curiously. Sirius muttered his answer.

“I’m going to take the blame,” he said, hanging his head.

“And Libby, what are you going to do?” he asked me. I bit my lip.

“I’m going to come up with a plan. Then forget the whole thing,” I said in a strong voice. James, Remus, and Lily were looking utterly confused now, but we avoided their curious looks. Peter completely missed our interrogation. He seemed distracted. Weird. He usually hung on James and Sirius every move.

“Good. Now, I am going to tell you top secret information. None of this is to be repeated outside these walls,” Dumbledore warned seriously, “Do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir,” we said in strong, unified voices.

“As Voldemort grows stronger, so does the need for him to be stopped. I have decided to form an secret group. I’m selecting a group of Wizards and Witches I trust the most. I am trying to get legal adults, meaning already graduated and out of Hogwarts. But you six I trust the most out of all the students in Hogwarts. Remus, you are cursed with a life as werewolf and good in the heart. Peter, you are stronger then you know and as loyal as one could be. Sirius, Libby, both in love with a destiny to change the world. And James and Lily, bound together for reasons you cannot understand yourselves, but powerful and brave like few are. Each on of you would be a great addition the this group.

“I’m calling it the Order of the Phoenix. I already have the Weasleys joining, the Prewetts, and many more. Some other students from Hogwarts are joining, but not many. All of you are almost seventeen and of age. That makes it a lot easier. Of course, you might not be able to do much from inside school, but you can still be of some help. I just need you all to give me the word.

“Will you join the Order of the Phoenix and help beat Lord Voldemort?” Dumbledore asked looking at us all with determination. I looked at Sirius and found he was smiling. This was exactly what we were looking for.

“I’m in,” I said. Sirius nodded.

“So am I,” he said.

“Voldemort’s going to fall,” James said forming a fist with his hands. Lily put her smaller hands over James’s and smiled.

“I want to do whatever I can,” she said.

“You’ll need a werewolf to convince all the werewolves that have joined Voldemort that there are better things on the good side,” Remus said grinning. Peter was shifting uncomfortably, but nodded none the less.

“I’m in, too,” he said.

“Great,” Dumbledore grinned, his eyes were twinkling as he looked at Sirius and me, “You’re one of the more important members as of now. I suggest you tell your friends why you are so important. It’s better coming from you then me.”

“Now?” I gasped.

“Yes, better in a closed room then out in the open where anyone can hear you,” Dumbledore replied. He sat in a chair and Sirius and I turned to James, Lily, Remus, and Peter. All were looking at us eagerly. I looked at Sirius.

“You tell them or me?” I asked.

“You’re the one the remembers the Prophecies word for word,” Sirius said sighing. I looked at my friends.

“There are prophecies that connect. We believe them to be about Sirius and me,” I said trying to keep my voice strong, “The first one that Sirius and me hear was his. It said. . . In the time of Darkness. . .there will be little hope and. . .”

“Little love,” Sirius helped out, for I was struggling, “The blood traitor of a Noble house will. . .”

“Find the love of the one,” I continued, “who is fated to changed. . .the path of the. . . most powerful. . .wizard alive. With great pain and suffering. . .”

“This love will be, for he will take the blame,” Sirius finished for me. My voice had gone soft and trailed off to nothing, leaving him no choice. Lily’s hands went up to her mouth.

“The blame for what?” she gasped.

“We dunno,” Sirius said, shrugging, “That’s what scares us. You have to hear the second prophecy. Libby. . .”

I shut my eyes, trying to remember more clearly and said, “ The Dark Lord’s path to conquer will have a sudden change. . . the cause is a sister of a friend. . .a lover. . .”

“Of a traitor,” Sirius prompted.

“Yeah, a lover of a traitor, and the friend of a Mudblood. . . And idea to trick the Dark Lord. . .fails. . .as a friend betrays the trust. . . No memory will be there. . .as the lover. . .the lover takes the blame of the murder the Dark Lord. . .commits. The time is nearing. . . for the sudden change.” I finished and looked up at everyone. They were gaping at us.

“Whatever it is I do, it’s what scares us,” I explained, starting from what Sirius had said, “I’m not sure if what I do is bad enough to send me to Azkaban, which is why Sirius takes the blame. Or if it can put us in more danger.”

“And that a friend betrays us,” Sirius said looking at me with worry, “Someone we trust. And the murder. The murder has to be close to us if Libby tries to trick Voldemort.”

“And you’ve been hiding this from us all year?” James asked, looking a bit angry. Sirius shook his head.

“No. We only heard this after we got back together after our ‘break-up’” Sirius explained.

“After Kirsten died,” I said, “This is the reason why the Death Eater had taken her. He was looking for me, but made a mistake. He had seen Kirsten kiss Sirius during the Quidditch game, and well, they had mistaken her for the being Sirius’s lover. They knew she was friends with Lily, but they didn’t pay attention to the third part. Sister of a friend. They didn’t think of how close I was to James and that was only when I was beginning to get feelings for Sirius.

“Kirsten died because of me. And I wish that I could go back to that night. At least I was sober then and could have gotten Kirsten away. But things didn’t go the way I wish they could have. Nothing is going right. Voldemort is getting stronger, more people are dying and that’s not right. I don’t know what it is that I do to try and trick him, but it scares me,”

Sirius put his arms around me comfortingly. James, Lily, Remus, and Peter exchanged glances and I knew they were thinking the same thing. They didn’t want to know the future. Knowing it leads to pain and impatience and more questions asked then answered. None of us could prepare ourselves for what will happen because the prophecy only tells us so much.

When summer began to come to a close, my Uncle took over John Potter’s annual “Muggle” Cook-Out to try and ease some of the painful tension that settled over both our houses. Instead, Uncle Scott ended up starting a fire, breaking his foot, and singed off an eyebrow. We ended up ordering a Muggle’s pizza instead. James was deathly quiet that night and his mother had locked herself in her room crying.

So, Sirius started a game of Truth or Dare, just like last summer. We did have fun and James perked up. Especially when Jacob joined our game out of boredom. He was new bait to fool around with. Jacob quickly realized that and began to complain. And soon it was past midnight and we all went to bed.

Laying under my covers, my window letting the summer breeze into the room, Sirius and I tangled our legs together and held hands while staring at the ceiling. Really, there was nothing to look at, but we were reflecting on what had happened in the past year and what could possibly be coming next.

“It’s funny,” Sirius said softly, “After the barbeque last year at this time, I was laying in bed thinking about that kiss James dared you to give me. I don’t think I was happier. I thought it was impossible for me to be any happier. And I just lay there, thinking about where this could take us. How this could change things. I was mad at James at first, but then when I felt what your kiss was like, I was ready to kiss him. Now, only a year later, I’m laying here with you. And you’re in love with me as much as I am with you. I didn’t think that this was possible with you even last year. But I’m happier now then I was last year. Because I’m with you and you’re with me. Hopefully forever.”

“I can’t believe I hated you last year at this time. I was thinking about the kiss that night, too, but in a repulsive way,” I said, Sirius chuckled, “I was thinking about how I could actually have enjoyed a kiss with Sirius Black. And now I can’t sleep without you. So much has changed.”

“Does it matter what’s changed as long as we’re together?” Sirius asked.

“Kirsten didn’t deserve to die. Neither did John Potter.” I pointed out, shifting so I could look at Sirius.

“They didn’t, but Libby, I’m not talking about the death we’ve faced. I’m talking about everything. How your. . .dislike for me turned into love. How Ben, who was supposed to be so sweet, turned into a moron. How James and Lily are finally together and how I almost mended things with Regulus. . .Libby, I’m talking about the good change, because we did face some of that this past year. We’ll face more of it this coming year too. And more dark changes. But that’s what we have each other for. To be there.” Sirius explained quietly in my ear. I nodded.

“I know, Sirius. You’re the only person I need to live now. And I mean truly live. Without you, I’m just a body doing daily tasks,” I said.

“Same here, love. You’re my only one.” Sirius snuggled against me, “I love you more then anything in the world.”

“And I love you,” I whispered. I turned my face towards his and we shared a longing kiss. I cursed the charm set on my room because I wanted to deepen the kiss but knew that it would set off the “alarm” and I didn’t want my Uncle to kick Sirius out. Not when I don’t know how much time we have left together.

“Ha, I can’t wait to get out book lists for school,” Sirius laughed as we dozed off, “If Moony makes Head Boy, I’m never going to let him live it down.”

But Remus didn’t make Head Boy. The next day, two weeks before seventh year started, we got out book lists and James and Lily’s were the heaviest of all. Lily opened hers first, knowing what was inside. She gasped when she said that she was Head Girl. James, knowing what his envelope contained, threw it across the room with a yell. Sirius opened it for him and found the Head Boy badge. He threw it across the room back at James as if it were contaminated.

We all knew that seventh year would probably be an interesting year. James knew the passwords to all the common rooms. It had to be. But I knew I was going to miss Lily, too. She and James had their own common room which left me with the Orrin twins in the girls dormitories, not that I was going to sleep there anyways. But still. How much would I see of Lily now?

Summer ended much to soon. Before I knew it, the final two weeks of summer holiday was gone and I was checking my room for anything I left behind before heading for King’s Cross. Sirius was waiting for me downstairs. Just like he always will be waiting for me. No matter what.

A/N: Just a quick little overview of their summer. And this chapter is going up an hour early. I'm so tired I can't keep my eyes open. i'm going to be the second i post this. lol. Huh. I have another song I could title this chapter with, but I'm not sure if I would be allowed since they are a local band still(always on. they're amazing and LIVE and hott).

Anyways a little something from chapter 28: Thinking Underage(by the hottest guy in the world, Teddy Geiger)

“They’ll get over it,” I muttered. I had a good argument to get my way, but that didn’t seem to matter to them. They wanted me home as long as possible.

“Will they, Libby? Or will they just trust you less?” Sirius asked looking far away. I sighed with frustration remembering the conversation I had with my aunt and uncle before we left for Hogwarts during Christmas.

“They said I can move in with you when we get married. If we get married,” I said quietly. We never really talked about marriage before and it felt weird. Sirius sat in the grass and pulled me towards him. He had a blank look on his face.

“We’re only seventeen, Libby,” Sirius said.

“I know, Sirius, I’m not saying we have to get married right away,” I smiled. Sirius smiled, too, but there was a look in his eye that told me there was something up.

Hmm. . .are you excited now?? Ha. Just kidding. Anyways, for how tired I am, i ahve to say i am not as sad because for the past three days, i've had someone to eat lunch with. My friend's boyfriend talked to me on mon. and tues. and then another girl from my science class talked to me today. exciting huh?? i was happy. at least i wasn't alone. lol.

Wow! i can't believe how fast my reviews are climbing. thank you sooooo much!!
Now i want sleep.

Mwah! Mwah!

Chapter 28: Thinking Underage
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling. Lyrics by the hott, wonderful, talented Teddy Geiger.

Chapter Twenty-Eight
Thinking Underage

Forgive me mom and dad
If the music makes you sad
Nothing can prepare us for the day
When little boys grow old
And don't do as they're told
I will find my way
I'm just tired of thinking underage,
Tired of thinking underage,
I'm not thinking underage anymore

--Teddy Geiger "Thinking Underage"

We all knew seventh year would be the most exciting. We were not disappointed. From the second Sirius and I stepped on the train, we were thrown into the ups and downs of our final year at Hogwarts. It was depressing to think that just a year ago, Kirsten was with us. I had to push the thought from my head more then once during the first week of school.

Seventh year was definitely harder then any other year. It was filled with last minute cramming of spells and charms. We were loaded down with homework every night, which took time away from Sirius and me. We both had the same classes since we both wanted to become Aurors. That, I was happy for and teachers did not try to split us up in any way. They allowed Sirius to sit next to me during every period and did not argue.

James and Lily had gotten closer being stuck sharing a personal common room. I was jealous that Lily was a head. She got away from the twins, who had gone back to treating me like crap. I had walked into my old dormitory after the feast, full and tired. I was putting my things on the end of my bed when the twins walked in and stared at me, hands on hips.

“What? No love notes to start out the year?” Samantha asked coldly. I was slightly taken aback.

“No.” I said simply, not knowing how else to reply.

“I suppose you’re going back in to sleep with Sirius?” Susan smirked. I frowned and turned my back to them, pulling my clothes out of my trunk.

“Yes, actually, I am,” I said.

“You both are pathetic. Nothing is going to eat you in the night,” Susan said and she and Samantha threw back their heads in laughter. I just looked up at them, still frowning, but oddly calm.

“It’s to complicated to understand to you two,” I said smiling softly, “It’s complicated for me, too.”

“What is? How to sleep in your own bed?” Samantha asked lamely and confused.

“No. What it’s like to be in love,” I said and then left the room with a wide smile on my face. I practically skipped to the boys dormitory, where I would change into my pajamas. I didn’t care if Sirius was only in his underwear when I came bursting in, I threw my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. He wrapped his arms around me, pretending to be confused.

“Something I can do for you, miss?” he asked with a small grin. His dimple making it’s infamous appearance.

“I love you,” I said kissing him softly.

“I love you, too,” Sirius replied with a small chuckle. He kissed me softly and then set me back on the ground to finish changing.

“Changing anytime soon?” Sirius asked.

“She’s waiting for you’re help, Padfoot,” Remus joked from where his bed. He was reading, the covers perfectly laid over him.

“Remus!” I gasped, “That’s so unlike you to say. Don’t be taking over for James.”

“Yeah, Moony, stick with being a quiet bookworm,” Sirius mumbled, but he was trying to hide his smile. I went into the bathroom and changed. I stored my clothes in Sirius’s trunk for a while and then plopped down on the bed. It was warm and soft. Sirius laid down next to me.

All the lights were shut off and Sirius closed the bed hangings.

“Behave you two!” Remus shouted. I couldn’t help but giggle as Sirius pulled me closer to him, softly kissing my neck.

The beginning of the school year was the most boring thing Sirius and I had to endure, but we welcomed it. The calm atmosphere was a lot nicer then the tense, depressed atmosphere. We rarely spoke of the prophecies and we rarely ever spoke of what is to become of us when we graduate. The most we spoke of the future was when Sirius looked at flats in the Daily Profit or when we laughed about becoming Aurors. It was a career I had never considered before the prophecies.

Ben tried to befriend be again. I have to admit that he did convince me he was sorry. Sirius wasn’t so sure and would threaten him often. My relationship with Ben was then forced to just small smiles and greetings in the corridors. Sometimes a little talk in class before the bell rang. Nothing to big or serious. When Ben started dating another girl, a year younger then us, I warned her and she and Ben were together for a month and a half before Ben broke things off. I didn’t know why until a few days after Halloween.

Sirius and James were in detention. Lily was mad at James because he was Head Boy and still acting like a child, even if he had gotten better. Lily and I wanted to have some “girl time” since we spent most of our time with James and Sirius. We were walking down to the kitchens chatting away. Me about Sirius and Lily about James. We couldn’t help it.

“Libby?” said a voice behind me. I turned around, startled. Ben stood there looking exhausted and a bit sad.

“Hi Ben,” I said with a small smile. It faded when I saw how nervous Ben was, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to talk to you,” Ben said, then glanced at Lily, “Alone, please.” Lily hesitated before walking to the other end of the corridor, keeping an eye on us. I made a mental note to thank her for it.

“About what?” I asked curious.

“Why I can’t stay with one girl,” Ben explained, “I know why I can’t stay with anyone for to long. I need to tell you.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a step forward.

“It’s really pointless since I know you’ll just walk away.” Ben said, shrugging.

“Just tell me, Ben,” I said as softly as I could.

“Remember last year when I told you I loved you?” Ben asked. I nodded and Ben sighed, “I said it then as a last resort. . . but, Libby, I think—”

“Oh, Ben,” I gasped, “Please don’t say it. . .”

“I think I really do love you,” Ben whispered. I bit my lip and stared at the ceiling. How was I supposed to reply? He knew I wasn’t going to say it back or that I had really any affection for him at all, really.

“Ben. . .you know I’m crazy about Sirius,” I said after a minute. Ben nodded, “All I can be to you is a friend, that’s all. Even if Sirius did leave me, Ben, I doubt I would ever be able to love someone else.”

“I know.” Ben was looking at his feet, “I just needed to tell you. I thought it might help me understand everything.”

“You never can understand love,” I said simply.

“It might be easier now that you know,” Ben shrugged, he started to back away, see you around Libby.”

I, of course, tell Lily what happened and then Lily did the stupid thing and told James. James was even dumber and told Sirius. Who confronted me.

It was our first fight since we started going out. Sirius thought I was sneaking around behind his back because I didn’t tell him. I thought Sirius was overreacting because I had told Ben no and that I was in love with Sirius. I couldn’t understand why Sirius was so angry, but I was going to be stubborn and wait for Sirius to apologize to me. That was a dumb choice on my part. I had the worse nightmares for a week because I refused to sleep in with him.

Something much like what happened during the summer happened. I woke up screaming and when I stopped, I was shaking again. I kept seeing faces of Death Eaters moving towards me and taking Sirius away. Killing him or forcing him to join them. I was taken to the hospital wing, but the potion Madam Pomfrey gave me made the dreams worse. Mcgonagall finally realized that it was Sirius who I needed and went to get him.

I had never been happier to see him. He apologized and I apologized. He held me close, calming me and making everything in the world right again. I was relieved and Sirius and I patched things up. Our relationship was stronger now then ever before. We realized we needed to trust each other more with sensitive things like ex-boyfriends and such.

Christmas came and I have to say it was one of the best ones I’ve ever had. My cousin did not come over, so it was just me, Sirius, James, Aunt Becky, Uncle Scott, Jacob, and Sandra Potter. There was no Christmas party as the Potter’s this year and we all stayed home on New Years. Sirius, James, Lily, and I were all seventeen and eligible to go to the Ministry Ball this year, but after what happened last year, we decided home was the best place to be.

New Years was hard. It was the one year anniversary of the death of John Potter. A few days later, it was the anniversary of the death of Kirsten. We went to the cemetery and laid flowers for them on New Years. The house was quiet and tense in those days. Things perked up when we returned to school.

Now all the seventh year’s time was used to study for N.E.W.Ts. I was nervous about the exams that seemed to be getting closer and closer. Lily had planned out schedules for us, which was very helpful. Between Quidditch, regular homework, and Sirius I was having a hard time finding time to study. We usually studied together, but got very distracted very easily.

On the first day of the test, I was so nervous I couldn’t eat. Sirius, Lily, James, Remus, Peter, and I all walked into the Great Hall where the tables were set up much like they were for our O.W.L.s. I was disappointed that Sirius was moved to the opposite side of the room from me. It was nerve wracking without him next to me and when the test began, I was struggling for a moment before I looked up where Sirius was sitting. He was watching me and smiled, mouthing ‘I love you’ when the teachers weren’t looking. I smiled and returned to my test much more confident.

That week was the longest I ever had in my life. I felt if I tried to learn anything else, I would go insane. It was a relief when I finished my test on Friday and met up with Sirius.

“I think I did pretty well, what about you, love?” Sirius asked grabbing my hand.

“Alright, I think. Good enough,” I smiled.

“Poor Remus is freaking that his won’t be good enough,” Sirius sighed.

“I know. It’s a shame that there are so many regulations on Werewolves,” I agreed. We stepped outside in the warm air, “Can you believe we’re graduating?”

“Nope.” Sirius sighed, “I can’t believe I bought a flat either, but I did.”

“You mean ‘we’, Sirius, You know I’m not going to let you live alone.” I said heading towards the lake where other students were lounging around.

“I know, but will your aunt and uncle care for you to leave home early?” Sirius asked looking at me curiously. I frowned. They already told me that I was much to young to move in with Sirius.

“They’ll get over it,” I muttered. I had a good argument to get my way, but that didn’t seem to matter to them. They wanted me home as long as possible.

“Will they, Libby? Or will they just trust you less?” Sirius asked looking far away. I sighed with frustration remembering the conversation I had with my aunt and uncle before we left for Hogwarts during Christmas.

“They said I can move in with you when we get married. If we get married,” I said quietly. We never talked about marriage before and it felt weird. Sirius sat in the grass and pulled me towards him. He had a blank look on his face.

“We’re only seventeen, Libby,” Sirius said.

“I know, Sirius, I’m not saying we have to get married right away,” I smiled. Sirius smiled, too, but there was a look in his eye that told me there was something up.

Graduation came around much to fast for my liking. Before I knew it was I putting my robes on over my plain black dress. I looked rather nice, I must admit. My hair was down with my school hat on and my make-up was done by Lily. She looked a lot better then me. Sirius and James looked handsome and a lot more grown up then they ever have before.

We all had to line up in alphabetical order outside by the lake. Chairs were set up and filled with parents, friends, siblings, and so on. I searched for mine, but couldn’t find them. I did see Sirius’s family. They were there for Narcissa, of course. They didn’t care to see Sirius. I noticed that Regulus wasn’t there. I didn’t expect him to be, but I knew Sirius was hoping. It’s been over a year since he had disappeared.

Names began to be called and I got butterflies in my stomach. I felt like it was the sorting ceremony all over again. What if I tripped in front of all those people? What if they forget to call my name? I began to bounce a little with anticipation of what is to come. This will be the beginning of adulthood, really. No more acting like a child and doing what we please. We’re going out into the real world.

I wanted to grab Sirius’s hand, but he was quite a few people ahead of me. I tried to wait patiently.

“Sirius Black,” Mcgonagall said with her magnified voice. Sirius stood up straighter and walked onto the stage that was set up. People clapped and I spotted my family and Sandra Potter cheering with a few others who knew Sirius. His family didn’t boo or anything, but looked away in disgust. Sirius took his diploma and flashed his winning smile at Mcgonagall and the then the crowd. He shook hands with Dumbledore and then finished crossing the stage to the seats that were set up.

I couldn’t see him anymore and got fidgety again. I waited impatiently for my name to be called. The kids infront of me seemed to be moving so slow. I wanted to escort them up the stage at a run. But I had to stay calm. My eyes kept darting to my family who was clapping politely for everyone before me. Then, my name was called.

“Libby Cullen,” Mcgonagall said.

I took a deep breath and took easy steps, trying not to trip or embarrass myself. My family and Mrs. Potter were cheering again. The Evans were clapping loudly and I noticed that Petunia, Lily’s sister, was like she was contaminated. I chucked as I took my diploma and shook Dumbledore’s hand. Then I looked at the crowd and smiled. I spotted the Blacks who were giving me an icy stare. I shivered and crossed the stage. It didn’t trip and I thanked Merlin for letting me be graceful.

I took my seat and Sirius blew me a kiss. I smiled at him and turned my attention to the crowd. No one did trip crossing the stage. When James’s name was called he got nasty looks from the Blacks and loud cheers from my family, his mum, and the Evans. He raised his arm with the diploma like he caught the Snitch before grinning in a cocky and took a seat. I could just picture Lily, who was seated behind me, pursing her lips and sighing.

Once all the names were called, James and Lily made their way to the podium and made their speeches. Lily’s was about achievement and success and the future while James was about having fun and not just worrying about work. Personally, I thought James was the more important one to listen to. He told us that we can’t focus only on the war and who may be hurt or what can happen. We need to love who we can, while we can and keep everyone we know and love close to us. The more that stick together and fight, the sooner the war will be won. He also told us to lighten up in the real world. That if we neglect our friends and family, nothing will be left to work for. Family first, then work.

Then came the after party. We all went to the Great Hall. I met up with my Aunt and Uncle and gave them furious hugs. I hugged Mrs. Potter, too. When I kissed Jacob on the cheek he winced and said, “Ew, that’s where Sirius’s mouth was!”

Sirius had come over then and gave me a lovingly soft kiss right in front of everyone. I was a bit embarrassed when he pulled away, but he didn’t show and signs of uneasiness as he shook hands with my uncle, hugged my aunts, and Sandra, and tousled Jacob’s hair.

“I’m almost 15, Sirius, I don’t need you doing that anymore,” Jacob said, but he was laughing. Music started and Sirius recognized his favorite song instantly. People were already dancing and Sirius got excited.

“Come on, let’s dance!” Sirius said, pulling my arm.

“Oh no, Sirius,” Jacob laughed, “Libby can’t dance.”

“She can with me!” Sirius laughed and pulled me out onto the dance floor.

We started to dance, moving in time to the music and laughing whenever we did something silly. My Aunt and Uncle watched us with amusement. They were getting used to the idea of me and Sirius being so in love while so young. I noticed the Blacks watching us from the other side of the room. They honestly hated Sirius. I was just glad that I could at least make Sirius happy.

And so the party went on. Before I knew it, it was getting late and the sun was going down. Remus, Peter, Lily, and their families came over to mine and James’s houses for a dinner. We all were planning on jumping in the lake after dinner, wanting to have some fun to start our freedom. Fifteen minutes before dinner, Sirius pulled me outside and together, we went to the dock over the lake.

We were flirting and giggling quietly and then stood in silence on the dock, starring at one another. Sirius had something on his mind, but I didn’t press thinking it was about Regulus and where he is. It’s been over a year since we last heard of him.

“Libby, how badly do you want to move in with me?” Sirius asked suddenly.

“I don’t want to, Sirius, I need to,” I explained, “What am I supposed to do about those dreams?”

“Where is our relationship going go from here though?” Sirius looked at me so intensely that I had to look away. I didn’t answer, surprised by the question, “Libby, I love you and want to spend every waking moment with you. Being away kills me and being near you drives me insane. I almost lose control every time I kiss you and almost go mad when you look at me like you are now.”

“Sirius, I love you, too.” I said, my heart had started beating loudly as I wondered where all this was coming from.

“Then I need to ask you,” Sirius whispered, his hand slipping into his pocket. My breath caught in my chest as Sirius lowered himself onto one knee.

“What are you doing?” I asked, not sure to be happy or shocked. I glanced at my house and saw faces in the windows. I calmed a little, but not by much.

“Libby, will you marry me?” Sirius asked, opening a small velvet box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring with a golden band. It was easily expensive and the diamond was a very nice size. I didn’t know what to say, I just stared at the ring, to Sirius’s face when was filled with seriousness. I nodded as he slipped the ring onto my ring finger.

“Of course I’ll marry you,” I said, feeling tears in my eyes. Sirius stood up straighter and kissed me deeply. My arms wrapped around his neck and he held me close to him.

We stayed at the lake for as long as we could, kissing and smiling. We didn’t want to leave that moment. But we had to go up sometimes. I was sort of scared as to what my Uncle and Aunt will say. Lily and James would be thrilled, I knew. Sirius assured me that my family would be just as thrilled. He had asked for permission first. That made me smile.

The second I opened the door, Lily was hugging me.

“I can’t believe it, you’re engaged!” she squealed.

“Congratulations, mate,” Remus said patting Sirius on the shoulder. I was blushing as I was hugged. James stood off to the side, smiling, but saying nothing. Then I looked to my Aunt and Uncle.

“Oh, come here!” my Aunt said and pulled me into a hug, quickly followed by my Uncle who kissed me on the forehead.

“We love you and want you to be happy,” he whispered in my ear. I smiled and thanked him.

“Looks like you’re part of the family now,” Jacob said to Sirius.

“Yeah, looks like it,” Sirius grinned, pulling an arm around my waist. Jacob grinned even wider, showing all his teeth.

“That’s so cool,” he shook his head, “I’ll have a brother-in-law.”

“Hey! I will too!” Sirius said, realization spreading across his face.

James pulled me aside when we all were saying good night. Sirius was, of course, staying at my house. I looked at James happily and hugged him.

“I wanted to congratulate,” James said, hugging me.

“Thanks, James. Next it’ll be yours and Lily’s turn,” I laughed. James laughed, too, turning slightly pink.

“Yeah, and you’ll be my best man and then I’ll be your best man,” Sirius said, “And you’ll be the Godfather to our kids and I’ll be the—”

“Easy, Sirius, let’s not think kids until we’re married,” I smiled. Sirius grinned.

“Seriously, you guys, I’m happy for you both. You’re like a sister to me Libby, and Sirius you’re like a brother,” he paused, “That sounds a bit wrong if your engaged, but I mean it. You two are the most important people in my life next to Lily.”

“You’re important to us, too, Prongs,” Sirius said smiling.

“And that won’t change,” I added speaking softly.

A few days later, Sirius and I moved into a flat because we could not afford the large house Sirius’s Uncle Alphard had left behind. It was small, just one bedroom, one bathroom, and the kitchen and living room connected in a small space. But that didn’t matter, because we had also gotten our names on the list for possible applicants for Auror training. As soon as we were able to move into the house, we would.

The summer was spent with wedding planning. I wanted to get married in the fall in my back yard by the lake. Sirius agreed since he had no idea what type of wedding he wanted. He left all the planning to me and only added his opinion when we were testing for cake samples. Though I only got a bite out of each flavor while Sirius had to “think over” each piece and then “try it again to be sure” that it tasted right. Really, he just wanted cake.

My Aunt and Lily were always helping me, too. Lily seemed more excited then me picking out everything. When we went to buy my dress, we both were so excited I was surprised I was able to only pick a few dressed. I finally settled a gorgeous laced long sleeve wedding dress. It was Renaissance style sleeves with detailed embroidery on the front bodice and hem of the dress. It was a beautiful dress and I loved it.

I was beginning to get nervous about my wedding. Sirius had only turned eighteen and I was still only seventeen. It was scared, I’d admit, of what is to come of our lives. The prophecies repeated themselves in my head more and more as the day I had set for my wedding got closer. I didn’t let Sirius know this and the only one I told was Lily. She told me it was just nerves and that I had nothing to worry about. We’d worry about the prophecies when the time is right. For now, I needed to live in the present and continue to plan a beautiful wedding reception.

Before I knew it, the end of September had arrived. I was trying hard to ignore my nerves. Lily decided to throw a bachelorette party to help with that. A handful of girls that I’d known over the years showed up and we had a girls night out. We didn’t even sleep, which was fine, since I doubt I would have been able to anyways. There weren’t anything like strippers or anything. Lily wasn’t fond of them and she knew that Sirius would explode if he ever found out.

Then came the day of my wedding. The most exciting day of my life. I had never felt younger then I felt then. Lily, Aunt Becky, and I were all in my room. I was sitting on my bed in my beautiful gown and a beating heart. Lily had already done my make up and my hair. I was staring at the veil that hung across the room. The last thing needed to make my look complete.

I had never dreamed of my wedding day before and now that I sat here, I realized just how happy I really was. How much I wanted this. Obviously, I didn’t want kids right away and I knew Sirius didn’t either. We just wanted to be together. Marriage was the only way to really show how much we loved one another to the world.

When it was time, I went downstairs. Uncle Scott was waiting for me in the living room. He almost cried when he saw me. Then it was time. I could see the set up from where I stood in my house. The chairs filled with Sirius and my friends and family, the arch set up for Sirius and I to stand under and then the man who would wed us. Dumbledore.

I took my Uncles arm, smiling at him from behind my veil. When the music changed, we began to walk up. Sirius was standing up at the “alter” looking rather nervous and impressed by me. He smiled and I had to smile back, especially when I saw that dimple. It seemed like forever walking down the aisle and when we finally stopped before it, my Uncle gave me away, pulling up my veil and kissing me lightly before turning me over to Sirius.

I took his hand and stepped up before him.

“We gather here today in hold matrimony,” Dumbledore began and I stared at Sirius, willing myself not to cry. Sirius was staring at me, too, and I was surprised when Sirius said “I do” in response to Dumbledore’s question.

“Do you, Libby, take Sirius as your lawful wedded husband. . .” I heard Dumbledore said and the rest was a buzzing. When he stopped speaking, I replied in a clear loud voice.

“I do.”

More vows were said and then Sirius and I were slipping the golden wedding bands onto my finger, and I slipped one onto his. And then came the part that told us we were officially married.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Sirius, with both my hands in his, pulled me closer and leaned forward. He pressed his lips against mine in a gentle, sweet way. My ears stopped buzzing as I heard people cheering for us. Then, Sirius and I walked back down the aisle. I smiled at Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott. Aunt Becky was crying while Uncle Scott smiled at me, looking sad yet happy. I spotted Jacob, too, who was grinning widely.

The reception was beautiful and fun. There was dancing and gleeful laughter. I danced with my Uncle Scott a whole bunch to make him happy and then Sirius and James switched between me and Lily so I was spinning around next to James while Lily was laughing at Sirius as she stepped on his toes. Purposely, of course, Lily was to graceful a dancer to step on people.

While I danced with James, he grinned down at me.

“You’re no longer a Cullen,” he said with a laugh. I blushed.

“Who knew I’d be a Black?” I asked.

“I always thought it was possible. I mean, I know Lily will one day be a Potter. I knew from the first day I saw her.” James said with a far away look in his eye.

“Well, Mr. Potter, I do hope you ask for Lily’s hand soon,” I said with a laugh.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Mrs. Black. I will. Very soon,” James grinned.

When I tossed my bouquet, who else but Lily caught it? She was utterly thrilled and looked at James, who kissed her. We all laughed.

“Libby Black. . .”Sirius tested that night as we went to sleep, we would be leaving for our honeymoon tomorrow morning, “I like it.”

“I do, too,” I said and kissed Sirius softly.

A/N: I know they are very young to be getting married and all, but hey, they're to inlove to wait. lol.

So yeah, i don't have much to say except with have only 2 chapters left. That's so of a sad thought. Then I have to start working on the sequel. I hate writing sequels, but this one I am excited about. I'm actually plotting it out so they only excuse I'll have for not updating at least once a week will be having no time to write, which I will probably use a lot. lol.

Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm still amazed. lol.

Now you're little something from Chp 29: Stab My Back.

Only two days later did James apperate into our flat when Sirius and I were going to bed. He bounced onto the end of our bed. His eyes were twinkling and he wore the goofiest grin I’ve ever seen on him.

“Lily’s pregnant!” he said so loudly I feared that neighbors would hear him.

“No way!” Sirius said, so amazed that he sat right up in bed, also grinning.

“Yes way!” James countered sounding like a teenaged girl that just learned a boy asked her best friend out, “We’re going for a test at St. Mungo’s tomorrow! I hope she is!” And then he disapperated and the room was quiet.

“I want kids,” Sirius whined.

“And we’ll have some as soon as I finish my training,” I said laying down and pulling the blanket over my head.

Hm. We all know that as soon as Harry is born there's only a year left until James and Lily die, right?? Ah! I hate thinking that I had to write that. Oops. I didn't just give something away, did i? I mean, we all knew it had to happen, right?? lol.

Remember to review! I love knowing what you all are thinking! Even if it has nothing to do with the story!!

Oh yeah. Happy (belated) Birthday to forgetxmexnot!!

Chapter 29: Stab My Back
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer:Everything belongs to JK Rowling. Lyrics by The All-American Rejects.

Chapter Twenty-Nine
Stab My Back

The phone rings
(The phone rings)
And she screams
"Stab my back,
It’s better when I bleed for you.
Walk on me,
It never was enough to do."

--The All-American Rejects "Stab My Back"

Through the next year, there was more death to face. Sandra Potter was murdered, by Voldemort of course, when there was another attack. James and Lily saw this happened, and it disturbed James a lot. Lily’s parents also passed, but for a different reason. They had been flying back from a vacation in France and their plane crashed. No one on the plan survived.

James had told me he was going to ask Lily to marry him soon, but the deaths had taken away from that.

Finally, a year later, when we’re nineteen, while Sirius and I were waiting eagerly for him to get down on one knee and ask already, he began to actually think over it seriously. Lily was getting impatient, too, though she never said it out loud. It was written all over her face.

The day James came bursting into the flat in which Sirius and I lived, we were writing up reports for our Auror training. Sirius spilt a jar of ink on his parchment and I almost scribbled across mine as we jumped in fright of someone randomly opening the door to our flat. James came in looking nervous and in need of some calming. I immediately stood and helped him to the sofa.

“Are you alright, Prongs?” Sirius asked in concern.

“I just bought a ring,” James said in a shaky voice.

“Oh, James,” I said hugging him, “That’s great. It’s about time. Can I see it?”

“I just bought it,” James continued completely ignoring me, “I was walking through Diagon Alley, went into a jewelry store randomly and bought a ring. I wasn’t even planning it.”

“That’s because you’re so dumb to be waiting so long that someone finally possessed you into buying a ring!” Sirius said punching James on the shoulder in a friendly way.

“I can’t believe I bought it.” James said, rubbing his shoulder.

“Can I see it?” I asked eagerly. James looked at me for a moment as if just realizing that I was there and reached into his pocket. The black, velvet box was much like the one my ring held. Sirius and I put our heads together as I opened it. I gasped.

“It’s beautiful!” I said, my hand on my mouth.

“And yours isn’t?” Sirius asked pretending to be insulted. I playfully hit him on the arm.

“I wouldn’t have said yes if it wasn’t,” I joked. Sirius gasped and put a hand over his heart as if in pain. I kissed him on the cheek to show I was kidding and laughed. Then I turned my attention back to James, “When are you planning on asking her?”

“Oh Merlin!” James gasped turning paler then Remus on a full moon. He put his head in his hands and breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. It dawned on me that James was nervous. Obviously. I had never really seen James nervous.

“James, mate,” Sirius said, exchanging a look with me, “Calm down a bit. Lily is bound to say yes. She’s been waiting.”

“But what if she thinks we’re to young and says no?” James asked looking up at me and Sirius. I smiled softly.

“I would think she would say something about me getting married at seventeen then, don’t you think? You two are nineteen,” I pointed out.

“Still. . .” James muttered, biting his lower lip.

“You both are meant to be together, James,” Sirius said, “You need to ask her to marry you sometime!”

James was silent for a minute, thinking over our words. I could see his nervousness easing slightly and let out a sigh of relief. Lily would say yes to him. She loved him and would never say no to spending her life with him. I smiled softly at James, who was looking thoughtful.

“You’re right,” he said nodding, “Lily and I are bound to get married sometime, why not now?”

A week later, Lily ran into our flat. This time, Sirius didn’t destroy anything important, but I dropped the dishes I was putting away Muggle style. I liked doing chores the muggle way. It made me feel less lazy. Lily didn’t apologize, for James came in right after her, looking extremely triumph and happy. Lily pulled my arm.

“We’re getting married!” she squealed, holding her hand up for me to see the gorgeous diamond ring. I smiled.

“That’s wonderful!” I hugged her tightly and winked at James who was being praised by Sirius.

“Have you told Remus and Peter yet?” I asked.

“We’re telling Remus tonight and as soon as Peter replies to my letters, we’ll go see him,” James said, looking rather annoyed. I frowned. Peter had been ignoring Sirius’s letters, too.

Peter was beginning to drift away from us. Remus, Sirius, and James couldn’t understand why. They were the Marauders. Best friends for life the way they saw it. Yet, Peter made lame excuses to hanging out with any of us and rarely wrote. I wondered how anyone could just stop being friends with the ones that cared for him most of his life. I knew it wasn’t because Sirius was married or that James was engaged, as of now, or that Remus was traveling Europe looking for someone to hire him as an employer. Something was up with that man.

He did show up to James and Lily’s wedding though and acted very happy to see us all. I was Lily’s Maid of Honor and Sirius was James’s Best Man, so we were up by the alter as Dumbledore once again, held the ceremony. Lily actually got teary eyed a few times. During the reception, Peter came over to me and Sirius and started conversation that seemed as if we hadn’t seen him in years. We told him all about what was going on with us.

Petunia and Vernon Dursley was there, too, under Mrs. Evans orders. That Dursley was like a sour grape. I hated him the second he walked in the doors. He was pompous and stuck-up. He spoke loudly of whatever he was doing at his job that was impressive in the Muggle world but pointless in the Wizarding world. Both Petunia and Vernon stayed as far from everyone as possible. For the fun of it, Sirius and I strolled over to where they sat in the corner, not drinking their wine or eating their food.

“Petunia!” I said with such cheerfulness that for a moment, I actually thought I was happy to see her. Sirius grinned and Petunia and Vernon jumped as they saw us approaching. They looked around nervously as if searching for away to get free.

“I haven’t seen you in forever!” I continued sitting down across from her. Sirius sat by me, still grinning, “This is Sirius, my husband.”

“You’re a bit young for a husband,” Vernon asked icily.

“Yeah, well, we couldn’t wait any longer,” I said, grinning and acting as if I wasn’t insulted. Sirius was frowning now.

”Sirius. . .” Petunia muttered, then she looked at both of us with a glare, “Aren’t you the one that was disowned from your family?” Sirius narrowed his eyes. Was that what Lily talked about at home with her family? I doubted it, and so did Sirius. It was most likely mentioned in passing.

“It’s hard to be disowned when you were never part of that family anyways,” he said in a dangerous voice. I decided to change the subject quickly.

”So, isn’t it exciting that Lily is married now? James is a wonderful person.” I asked putting on a fake smile.

“Most loyal man you’ll find,” Sirius added.

“A freak if you ask me,” Petunia muttered, looking highly uncomfortable.

“Excuse me?” Sirius asked darkly, standing up and glaring.

“You heard her,” Vernon said, he was purple. An odd color for a person. It made me wonder, but as I watched him turn even darker, I realized we were pissing him off. Oddly, that pleased me.

“Sirius, calm down,” I said, pulling him down. He had pulled out his wand and I lowered it seeing the fear in the Dursley’s eyes.

“Everything okay?” Lily asked, suddenly appearing and looking worried.

“Yes, just talking,” I said, but I was glaring at Petunia. Who was she to call James a freak when she was married to a prune?

“We were just leaving,” Sirius said trying to calm his voice, “We don’t need to be insulted by people who know nothing about us.”

Lily gave us and odd look as we walked away. I knew she would be mad later when she found out what happened, but that wasn’t the point. I never liked Petunia. She was rude towards me all the time. I was glad that I pissed off both of them, but angry that they had also pissed of me and Sirius. Not only did they insult me, but they insulted Sirius and James, too. They didn’t even know them. At least I was a bit more familiar to Petunia. My heart goes out to anyone that has to live with those people.

The year went on. Sirius and I had now been married for two and a half years. We began talking about having kids. I wanted to finish my training with the Ministry first. We only had a year to go. Then I felt it would be time to take a break from work and raise a kid. Then I would return. Sirius had different ideas. He wanted a kid as soon as possible. He loved kids. And he wanted to start trying for one.

We turned twenty and we were still arguing over whether or not to have kids. I wasn’t going to try for one until I knew I wanted one. It wasn’t until Lily came by one afternoon looking terrified. Sirius wasn’t home. He was on an assignment for Auror Training with James. I let Lily in, concerned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked sitting on the couch next to her.

“I-I think I’m p-pregnant,” she whispered looking shocked and scared, yet a sparkle of excitement was in her eyes. A grin broke across my face.

“Oh my God, Lily!” I squealed, “Why do you think?”

“I’m late and I took a Muggle pregnancy test. It said positive, but those things can be misleading. I don’t know what to do. To tell James now, or wait until I know for certain.” Lily said, shaking her head.

“Tell him now!” I urged, “He’ll want to be there for you even if it was just a false alarm! You know how he is. He cares so much for you, Lily, don’t keep something this big and exciting from him.”

“I know, but how can I tell him?” Lily asked, looking helpless.

“Just tell him casually when he least expects the news,” I suggested.

Only two days later did James apperate into our flat when Sirius and I were going to bed. He bounced onto the end of our bed. His eyes were twinkling and he wore the goofiest grin I’ve ever seen on him.

“Lily’s pregnant!” he said so loudly I feared that neighbors would hear him.

“No way!” Sirius said, so amazed that he sat right up in bed, also grinning.

“Yes way!” James countered sounding like a teenaged girl that just learned a boy asked her best friend out, “We’re going for a test at St. Mungo’s tomorrow! I hope she is!” And then he disapperated and the room was quiet.

“I want kids,” Sirius whined.

“And we’ll have some as soon as I finish my training,” I said laying down and pulling the blanket over my head.

Lily was, indeed, pregnant. Both she and James were so happy. James wanted a boy and was expecting one. Sirius thought that their child would be a boy to because according to him “all pureblood firstborns are boys”. I pointed out that James and Lily’s child would be a half-blood, but that didn’t seem to change Sirius’s mind.

I have to say that Lily would make a great mother. She was already planning her entire kid’s life out. James was trying to tell Lily that he or she needs to be able to fly a broom and make him proud on the Quidditch field. Lily was more worried about his academic enrichment. It was rather amusing to watch them argue.

It was a few months later that Sirius and I completed our Auror training. We were hired as full-fledged Aurors and moved into the house that Sirius’s Uncle Alphard had left behind. The house was gorgeous. It was a large, yet perfect, size with beautiful paintings and furniture. The house-elf that lived there, Pinky, had been keeping the house in perfect condition for when his new master, Sirius, moved in. I was also in charge of Pinky being married to Sirius.

I loved living in a house instead of a flat. I made me and Sirius feel more like a married couple. We were almost starting our life together again. The worse thing was being a lot farther away from my Aunt and Uncle and Jacob. I could easily Floo or Apperate, but it was odd not having them so close.

James and Lily also moved into a new house. Everyone found this as odd. Why would they move out of the Potter’s Manor and into Godric’s Hollow? Sirius and I knew it was because there had been rumors that Voldemort was looking for James and Lily. They had undergone three attacks from him and his Death Eaters since we left school, making the eligible for a prophecy that had been made if, and only if, their son was born at the end of July. It was either them or the Longbottoms. Both families had gone into hiding.

One July afternoon, an owl came fluttering into the open window. I had been rearranging the living room, with the help of Pinky and Sirius, and had opened the window to let some fresh air in. I jumped with the owl dropped a letter infront of Sirius. He opened it and read it, a grin spreading across his face.

“Lily’s in labor!” he said.

“No way!” I gasped and we quickly flew to Godric’s Hollow on Sirius’s bike since it was impossible to apperate there for safety reasons.

James and Madam Pomfrey, who had been helping Lily throughout her whole pregnancy, were in their bedroom upstairs. Sirius and I waited with Remus and Peter, who had been around a lot more lately in the past year. We sat in silence, waiting. Lily’s cries made shivers go down my spine and I looked at Sirius.

“I don’t think I want kids anymore,” I muttered. Sirius just hugged me close to him and kissed my forehead.

Just as the sun was beginning to fall, James came downstairs with a grin on his face. He looked tired, but I knew Lily looked worse, but extremely happy. He was practically bouncing with joy.

“It’s a boy!” he cried.

“Oh, James! That’s great,” I said, also grinning and hugging him. Sirius also gave him a brotherly hug.

“I’m a dad!” James cried, “Come on, you have to see him!”

We went upstairs and into James and Lily’s room. Lily was sitting up, looking pale and tired, but happy. In her arms was a small bundle of navy blue blankets with little snitches on them. In that bundle was a tiny baby boy with small tufts of black hair. He was awake, squirming slightly in his mother’s arm.

“Aw, he’s beautiful,” I whispered. Lily handed him to me to hold. I panicked, “Uh, no, I’ll pass. I don’t want to break him.” Lily laughed, and Sirius took him from her instead. I could see in his eyes just how badly he wanted a child of his own. I smiled, knowing one day we will have our own family.

“What are you naming him?” Sirius asked, bouncing the baby slightly.

“Harry James Potter,” James said proudly.

“Harry James,” Remus repeated, testing it out, “That sounds about right.”

“Perfect,” I laughed. Peter said nothing as he peeked over the bed at baby Harry.

With the presence of Harry now, Sirius and I really wanted our own kid. We were trying, but to no avail. I thought there was something wrong with me for a while, but then, half way through November, I learned that I was pregnant.

I was home alone that day. Sirius was working extra hours since we needed the money, even if we were doing okay. He just felt it was always good to have extra. Ace was sitting by me as I learned the news. (Yes, we still have Ace who is full grown and very active). I screamed loudly with happiness, scaring the golden retriever.

“Sirius!” I shrieked, knowing he wasn’t home.

“Miss, Master Sirius isn’t home,” Pinky said, coming in to see what I was screaming about.

“I’ll be right back, Pinky,” I said patting the elf on the head and running out the door and apperating to the Ministry of Magic.

I was tapping my foot impatiently as I rode the elevator to the correct floor. Hopefully it was a slow day today. No attacks or anything that I would get into trouble for disturbing some employers. Though, I would have been called in if there was an attack. I skipped down the hall, ignoring the looks I was receiving.

“Sirius!” I called, walking down the row of cubicles looking for Sirius’s, “Sirius!”

“Libby?” came Sirius’s reply as he stepped out of Kingsley Shacklebolt’s cubical. Kingsley had trained both Sirius and me. He was great and one of our closest friends. He stepped out, too, looking curious as to my rush to find Sirius.

“Sirius!” I screamed and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing him, “I’m pregnant!” For a minute Sirius was silent and then a grin spread out across his face.

“You are?!” he asked happily and when I nodded kissed me deeply.

“Congratulations!” Kingsley said, when Sirius had put me down. He shook both our hands and then more of our colleagues came and shook our hands. A few even hugged us. One woman, I didn’t even know, kissed me on my cheek, as well as Sirius, which was kind of odd, but I was to happy to care.

When Sirius was let off from work, we told James and Lily the good news before flying down to my Aunt and Uncle. They were happy to see us both. As well as Jacob, who graduated from Hogwarts last year and was going through Healer training. We all went into the living room with tea and caught up.

“We have really good news,” I said, beaming.

“Really now?” Aunt Becky asked, smiling softly, “What’s that now?”

“Well. . .” Sirius’s began, unsure if he should tell them or me. I took over.

“I’m pregnant!” I grinned.

They were extremely happy for us. Uncle Scott repeated about twenty times that he was glad we waited until we were older instead of rushing into having kids when we were still eighteen. They’re happiness for us made me even more excited into having kids.

I loved being pregnant. Lily and I would go shopping for maternity outfits and I would go nuts trying to make myself look at cute as possible. I was usually very comfortable, too. I was lucky enough to not have a lot of back pain and I moved perfectly fine. Sirius treated me like a Queen and acted like picking up a quill can strain me. The worse thing about being pregnant, though, was not being able to see my feet. I hated that.

I was eight months pregnant when James and Lily came to me and Sirius looking urgent and worried. As we usually were, we listened.

“Dumbledore thinks there’s a traitor amongst us,” James said, he was holding Harry, would be turning one in a few weeks, close to his chest.

“What?” Sirius asked, remembering Regulus’s warning six years ago.

“Either you, Peter, or Remus. I’m doubting you,” James sighed handing Harry to Lily, “Peter would never find the guts and power in him to confront Voldemort. That leaves Remus, but I can’t understand why he would betray us, either. I mean, haven’t we been like brothers our whole life?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said grimly, “But James, I assure you that we, Libby and I, would never betray you guys.”

“But why Remus?” I asked, not wanting to believe it.

“Maybe because he feels he is only wanted among other werewolves?” Lily suggested, but I could tell she didn’t believe it either.

“Dumbledore wants us to hide ourselves better. Godric’s Hollow is invisible to maps and such, but it won’t be long before Voldemort finds where we are,” James said, grabbing Lily’s hand as if making sure she was still next to him, “He wants us to use the Fidelius Charm.”

“Who will be your Secret Keeper?” I asked.

“Sirius, we were hoping,” Lily said, “No offence, Libby, we just felt like Sirius would never let you put yourself between us and Voldemort like that.”

“And I won’t,” Sirius said firmly.

“I won’t let you put yourself between them, either,” I snapped, “You’ll die if he comes and you don’t tell them.”

“Dumbledore wants to do it,” James said, “But he has to much on his hands right now.”

“We have a few months before we have to make our decision,” Lily said, standing up, “Just think about it, will you?”

“We will,” Sirius said, throwing me a look that read he wasn’t going to back down.

Neither Sirius or me mentioned the safety of James and Lily to each other. We weren’t sure what to do and wanted to protect them while protecting ourselves. I was going to give birth any day now and we both needed to be there for our child. Yet, James and Lily couldn’t die either, for they will leave their one year old behind. The prophecies had been driven from our mind as we thought of ways to protect everyone close to us.

Because of our suspicion of Remus’s betrayal, we completely ignored any of his letters and would force him to leave if he ever stopped by. After a while, he gave up and we never heard of him again.

Then, on August 12th, I gave birth to our son. Sirius was there, James and Lily waiting downstairs just as we had done. Peter was there, too, along with Jacob, Aunt Becky, and Uncle Scott. Once I had endured enough pain to last me a life time, I had a beautiful baby boy.

“See,” Sirius whispered to me as he kissed my sweaty forehead, “I told you all pureblood first borns are boys.”

We named him Tristan Andrew Black. I had originally wanted to name Tristan after a star, like Sirius was. I thought it was a great and creative idea, but Sirius refused saying it was a sick, pureblooded thing his family did. So I gave in and let Sirius name him, as long as I liked it.

Sirius and I were now an official family. This excited us, but it was time to face other important matters. We had received notice that Regulus Black was dead. He was found in an alley with no evidence as to how he died. Just a look of pure fear on his handsome features. We had to go to the funeral in respect for him. We knew he must have done something for the good of the war to have been killed.

Then there was things such as what we would be doing with Lily and James. They returned to us a week before Halloween, waiting for our answer. A plan had been forming in my head all day and when they entered our home nervously and say down, I knew they would take up the offer.

“Are you going to do it?” James asked.

“Yes,” Sirius replied.

“No,” I said at the same time. Lily and James looked at me while Sirius glared. I looked away and then back at my friends.

“I have a better idea,” I said.

“Which is?” Lily urged.

“Use Peter,” I said simply.

“What?” Sirius asked, shocked I hadn’t suggested this to him.

“Okay, think about it,” I said, “Voldemort would think that you would choose Sirius as your Secret Keeper, right? If he thinks that Sirius is the Secret Keeper, he won’t kill Sirius because he’ll want the location. If Sirius is dead, your whereabouts die with him. Peter would be the last for Voldemort to even think to go to. Everyone knows he isn’t as powerful as most. And as of now, Voldemort doesn’t know we suspect Remus as the betrayer. It’s a fool proof plan!”

“And it might work,” Lily whispered to herself.

“Call Peter,” Sirius said to Pinky who had entered the room with some tea and cookies. Pinky nodded and disappeared.

Lily and James explained everything to Peter and he eagerly agreed to serve as their Secret Keeper. Something was bugging me in the back of my mind, but I wasn’t paying attention to it, for Tristan was upstairs crying and I needed to tend to him.

The Charm was performed that night. As Peter, Lily, and James walked out of our home, I knew something was wrong. I could see in Sirius’s eyes, he thought so too. And yet, neither of us bothered to think of what the prophecies had said. Neither of us bothered to rethink what had just happened or what we had done. What I had done.

In a weeks time, I would regret the suggestion. But for now, Sirius and I went upstairs to check on Tristan before we went to bed ourselves. With a troubled sleep from both of us, neither of us bother to acknowledge that we were playing right into Fate’s evil hands.

A/N: It's all Libby's fault. No, I'm just kidding. Kinda. . . Anyways, the whole "Libby liking being pregnant and always looking cute and all" is from my mom. She inspired that, seeing how she said she loved being pregnant and so i thought that would be cute. lol.

Hmm. . .I wasn't going to add an excerpt, but I can't do that to you guys. You're to wonderful. So here's the little something from the final chapter, titled Still Searching(by Senses Fail. Amazing song).

“Are we seriously taking them trick-or-treating?” Lily asked as she took her turn taking countless pictures.

“Of course!” James said, looking at Lily like she was crazy, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Well, besides the fact that Tristan is eight weeks and Harry is only a year?” Lily asked, but she was smiling.

“Lily, you silly head,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, “We eat the candy, not them!”

“You’re such children,” Lily said, but she was willing to go out into the night to trick-or-treat. We were able to wear our wizarding robes and all since people would just think we were corny parents. We didn’t care though. We spent the night enjoying ourselves and getting bag loads of candy.

I realized I use the word corny a lot. Anyways, you do realize that the excerpt is from the Halloween night 1981, right? Sucks. I hate the next chapter, really. But it must be done. ha. And there's a twist with Libby(she's NOT a death eater). So yeah.

Okay, because I have no idea when I will post the sequel to this, but I think that it won't be for a long time. Sorry. So, if you're afraid you'll forget all about the sequel and miss is when I start it, please leave your email address for me so I can tell you when it's up but only if you want to.

Please remember to review!!
Love you all! Mwah!

Chapter 30: Still Searching
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

Disclaimer: Everything pretty much belongs to Jk Rowling. I tweaked it a bit. And lyrics by Senses Fail(great band people).

Chapter Thirty
Still Searching

And oh my god, I've lost control
I stare at accidents in a sick attempt
to feel at all
I'm not the same kid I was when I was younger
I just thought you
I just thought you should know
I'm not the same kid I was when I was younger
I just thought you
I just thought you should know

--Senses Fail "Still Searching"

Sirius was a fantastic father. Sometimes I felt like he did more for Tristan then I did. But I didn’t mind as long as he was the one changing the diapers. He made plenty of time for Tristan between both work and Order business. The Order had become more complex these past few months, for Voldemort seemed to be at his peak.

But I like to think of it like this: Once you reach the peak, the only direction to go, is down.

On Halloween Sirius insisted on dressing Tristan up as a pumpkin. I had to cry when I saw the adorable little face in the orange pumpkin suit. I took pictures just to remember the moment and kissed Sirius. We went to Godric’s Hollow to meet up with James and Lily. They were laughing happily, enjoying their safety. Harry was dressed as a tiger and looked just as cute.

“Are we seriously taking them trick-or-treating?” Lily asked as she took her turn taking countless pictures.

“Of course!” James said, looking at Lily like she was crazy, “Why wouldn’t we?”

“Well, besides the fact that Tristan is eight weeks and Harry is only a year?” Lily asked, but she was smiling.

“Lily, you silly head,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes, “We eat the candy, not them!”

“You’re such children,” Lily said, but she was willing to go out into the night to trick-or-treat. We were able to wear our wizarding robes and all since people would just think we were corny parents. We didn’t care though. We spent the night enjoying ourselves and getting bag loads of candy.

But when Tristan fell asleep in Sirius’s arms and Harry began to get cranky, we went back to Godric’s Hollow. Sirius and I said good night to Lily and left. We were getting ready for bed when something triggered my memory.

An idea to trick the Dark Lord fails as a friend betrays their trust. . .

I dropped the bar of soap I was using into the sink. Fear crossed my face and tears burst into my eyes. The prophecy had finally wedged it’s way from the back of my mind.

“Sirius!” I screamed and ran into the bedroom where Sirius was pulling on his t-shirt he slept in. He looked at me, worried.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. I ran to him, taking a handful of his t-shirt in my hands, putting my forehead on his chest.

“An idea to trick the Dark Lord fails as a friend betrays their trust,” I repeated in hysterics, “The blood traitor of a noble house will find the love of the one who is fated to change the path of the most powerful wizard alive. With great pain and suffering will this love be, for he will take the blame.”

“Libby, no,” Sirius said, I looked up at him, his features were filled with fear.

“Mistress, Master?” Pinky was at the door, hearing my screams.

“Peter’s the one who betrayed us, not Remus. Peter is going to sell them out to Voldemort. We have to warn them!” I screamed.

“Pinky, watch Tristan,” Sirius ordered and then we got onto Sirius’s bike and flew there. Neither Floo or Apperation worked on Godric’s Hollow.

Sirius had never flown so fast on his bike before, and I clung to him in fear of falling off. But then I saw something in the distance as we neared Godric’s Hollow. A green light. The skull with the horrid snake coming out of the mouth.

The Dark Mark.

“No!” Sirius cried as we landed with a jerk.

The only thing that ever told you a house once stood in the destroyed lot, was the way half of the west wing stood. Water sprayed from the pipes and you could see bits of the bed room and library that were destroyed forever. The rest of the house was in a ruined pile. Sirius and I stared at it in fear. Then at the Dark Mark haunting us above.

“They can’t be!” Sirius cried jumping off the bike and running towards the rubble.

“Sirius!” I cried, hoping Death Eaters weren’t lerking.

“James!” Sirius yelled, “Lily?”

He was crying, tears pouring from his eyes. I was crying, too. Ministry officials were arriving, trying to get rid of any signs of magic before Muggles arrived. I had taken to searching for James and Lily, hoping to get an answer from one of them.

“Lily? Oh, Lily answer me!” I shrieked.

“No,” I heard Sirius mutter. He was digging through some rubble and I ran over to help. I gasped and sobbed when I saw he spotted a motionless hand from the rubble. We pulled it off to find and arm and then a shoulder. It was James.

“James,” I whispered. We pulled all the rubble off of him with difficulty.

He was motionless, hazel eyes wide open and empty. There was a look of worry, but courage on his face and I knew he had been trying to hold of Voldemort while Lily went to get Harry. Sirius was crying harder now and we stood looking down at the man that we loved. Sirius pulled me closer to him and we stood for what seemed like forever. We heard a sound.

“Harry,” I said with hope.

“There’s no way,” Sirius muttered, but he too sounded hopeful, “If James is. . .”

But there was no way to mistake that sound. A cry baby was somewhere among the mess that used to be Godric’s Hollow. I ran over to where I knew he room approximately stood. I started pulling up rubble and Sirius soon joined me.

It was practically a miracle. Harry was laying in a small space that seemed to be made for him. Not one part of him was crushed, for pieces of his crib were holding up most of the rubble. I lifted him out of it, trying to calm him down. I noticed a cut in the shape of a lightning bolt on his forehead. A cut that could only be given by a curse. Sirius and I looked at one another.

“Voldemort’s gone.” he said.

“Then why is the Mark up?” I muttered.

“Death Eaters must have been here before us,” Sirius said, he was getting control of himself as he searched for Lily, “They’re honoring their master’s death.”

“But is he dead? Or just weakened?” I whispered, looking at poor Harry.

We found Lily only a few feet away. Her green eyes, so much like Harry’s, were open and empty, just as James’s were. Her wand was limp in her hand and her beautiful red locks were spanned around her head. I began to cry harder and Sirius started to lose control again.

We left the rubble, unable to do anything else. The Ministry had gotten rid of the mark and a group of wizards were around. Hagrid, the gamekeeper at Hogwarts approached us.

“I’m supposed ter take Harry,” he growled with tears leaking into his beard. I looked at the poor orphan.

“I’m his Godfather, Hagrid,” Sirius said, putting an arm around me and Harry, “Give him to me and I’ll take care of him.”

“This is Dumbledore’s orders,” Hagrid said, shaking his massive head, “I have no choice.”

Sirius sighed, knowing that he shouldn’t disobey Dumbledore’s orders. He stared at his bike, arm still around me and Harry. Then his eyes grew wide. He took Harry from me and handed him up to Hagrid. Then he took out his keys to his bike and handed them to Hagrid as well.

“Take my bike. I won’t be needing it anymore.” he said. Hagrid nodded and took the keys. He mounted the bike and started the engine. He flew off before anyone realized the bike was flying.

“Where are you going?” I asked as Sirius began to walk into the street. I was thinking he was going to let a car hit him.

“To find Pettigrew,” Sirius said in a dangerous voice.

“No, Sirius, you can’t.” I said, “You can’t take the blame!”

“Libby. . .” Sirius said, turning around and coming back to me and wrapping me in his arms.

“Don’t go. Leave it to Dumbledore.” I said.

“Don’t you see?” Sirius asked, “Dumbledore thinks that I was their Secret Keeper. Remus does. The whole Order does. We never told anyone about the switch! I have no choice but to go after Pettigrew and make him confess what he’s done. I swear, Libby, I’ll come back to you.”

“Me and Tristan?” I whispered.

“Yes, you and Tristan both.” Sirius smiled and kissed me so deeply I knew, in a way, he was saying good bye to me. I was left standing by the street alone. After a while, I turned back and walked towards the house. I stood among all the other observers.

“Libby?” I heard someone moan. I spun around at the sound of my name and saw Remus, staring at the ruined home before him. I walked over to him.

“I’m so sorry,” I said to him, knowing that we owed him the biggest apology in the world for suspecting him of betraying us.

“You didn’t know. He fooled us all,” Remus said, wiping tears from his eyes, “But how could he?”

“I don’t know,” I said shaking my head.

“Where’s Harry? I’ve heard he survived,” Remus said.

“He did,” I replied, “Hagrid took him to Dumbledore. Everyone is celebrating. James and Lily are gone and most of world is celebrating because Voldemort is gone, too.” I let out a sob, wishing Sirius was there for me.

“He was their best friend,” Remus said, shaking his head.

“I know,” I agreed.

“I guess he never could escape the pressures of his family after all,” Remus continued. I frowned.

“Who are you—?” I stopped when I realized that Remus wasn’t talking about Peter like I was. He was talking about Sirius! I backed away. How come he doesn’t remember? He was in the room! We told him about the prophecy, he has to know this is what it was talking about!

“Libby, are you okay?” Remus asked me, concerned.

“I have to go,” I choked out and apperated back home. I ran up the stairs and into Tristan’s room. Pinky had done what Sirius asked and was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of the room watching Tristan sleep. He looked up when I walked in.

“Is something wrong, Miss?” he asked me. I looked at Pinky.

“Yes. James and Lily are dead. Voldemort gone.” I said simply and pulled Tristan out of the crib, careful not to wake him.

“That’s horrible, Miss, is there anything Pinky can get you?” Pinky asked, jumping down from the chair.

“No, that won’t be necessary,” I said, “I’m going to spend the night at my Aunt and Uncles, okay? I’ll be back in the morning with Sirius.”

“Yes, Miss,” Pinky said.

I wrote a note for when Sirius returned and Flooed to Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott. I was careful not to hurt Tristan or wake him up. Once I stopped, I stepped into the familiar living room I grew up knowing. I called for my Aunt and she came running, closely followed by Uncle Scott.

“Libby? What’s wrong?” Aunt Becky asked, wrapping me into a hug.

“Did Sirius do something to you?” Uncle Scott growled.

“No.” I gasped, “It’s James and Lily. They’re dead. Voldemort killed them. He tried to kill Harry, too, but somehow, Harry survived. Voldemort is gone!”

I fell into a restless sleep on the couch with Tristan in my arms. He was comfort to me as I waited for Sirius to return. But he never did. I knew it wouldn’t take much to find Peter or even duel with him. Peter was always horrible when it came to duels. As the sun rose, I rose. No longer could I sleep.

Just as people were getting ready to go to work, an owl flew to the window. I let it in, knowing that it had to be from Sirius. It read:

Libby, I’m cornering Peter three blocks from the Leaky Cauldron. I may need help, just so he doesn’t slip off as a rat like he did three times over the night. Please, meet me there in ten minutes.
Love always, Sirius

I immediately stood, tossing the letter to the side. I didn’t realize that it fluttered into the fire Aunt Becky lit during the night, destroying one of the last pieces of evidence that I had against Sirius’s innocence. I found Aunt Becky in the kitchen reading the paper about the death of James and Lily Potter. I handed her Tristan without a word, wrote a quick note the Aurors telling them to get to where Sirius told me, and then apperated there myself.

A giant black dog was on the street Sirius had told me to go. He was chasing something, a small something, down the street. The rat spotted me and turned into Peter. He was smirking. Sirius turned into his regular self, too. Peter was backed into a corner. No one was paying attention. They were much to busy rushing to work.

“Libby, stay over there,” Sirius said, pulling his wand out.

“S-Sirius,” Peter squeaked nervously, “I’m your friend, you can’t kill me!”

“You’re no friend of mine, you murderer!” Sirius yelled, jabbing his wand further into Peter’s neck.

“The Dark Lord made me do it! He threatened to kill me, Sirius!” Peter tried. My anger flared.

“Then you die to keep them safe!” Sirius roared, “You die or you warn us! You’ve been passing information to Voldemort, haven’t you?”

Peter grinned nastily.

“Maybe I did,” he said.

“Why?” Sirius yelled, I could see his tears from where I stood.

“Because the Dark Lord is in his right mind to be rid of people like you!” Peter laughed, “You and James never treated me like a true friend. Even Remus would rather sit by himself then with me. The Dark Lord is my friend. He treats me like I should.”

“You never thought that he would meet his downfall, did you? I should have known you were to weak to deny Voldemort’s powers. You’re nothing but a traitor.” Sirius snapped.

“Does that matter now? What’s done is done, Sirius,” Peter said, still grinning evilly. He looked at me, “Let’s take away the last thing you have left, shall we?” he pulled out his wand and pointed it at me, “OBLIVIATE!”

I ducked just in time, the spell going over my head and hitting a building behind me. I gasped. I wasn’t going to lose my memory. Not like this. Sirius wasn’t going to take the blame. I swear he won’t. Peter cursed and backed away from an angry Sirius. Peter grinned once more and then sent another spell at me. Again, I ducked and Sirius tackled Peter, a few people hurrying away as to not get hit and then yelling for someone to break the two men up. I stood on the other side of a parked car to keep myself safe from Peter’s attempts to take my memory.

Then Peter freed himself from underneath Sirius and ran a few yards away. Then he began to yell.


“Sirius!” I yelled, seeing Peter fingering his wand behind his back, “His wand!”

I was to late.

Peter raised his wand and said a curse that was unfamiliar to me. There was an explosion. I felt myself being picked up off my feet as I was thrown backwards. I hit my head on the pavement and landed flat on my back, knocking the air out of me. I gasped for air and felt tears come to my eyes. But I didn’t care about my pain. I sat up.

Dust was clearing. Bodies, no less then a dozen, were scattered in a very large hole that had appeared in the ground. Peter was gone. All I saw was Sirius standing at the edge of the hole, looking shocked. For a minute, nothing happened. There was a few pops of the apperating Ministry Officials.

They ran past me towards Sirius. As soon as they had Sirius’s hands behind his back, his wand in the hands of another official, and control over the situation, Sirius came back to his senses. I was helped to my feet by Kingsley. In the panic of the streets, I heard Sirius’s bark-like laughter. It echoed over everything else.

“Sirius, have you gone mad?” I asked, trying to make Sirius control himself a bit more. Sirius looked at me, there was no amusement in his eyes. Just hate and anger.

“Sirius Black,” I heard the head of Aurors saying as they lead him away, “You are under arrest for the activity of Dark Arts and use of the Dark Arts in front of Muggles. You are under arrest for the murder twelve muggles and one wizard. . .”

“No!” I said, pulling the head of Auror’s arm, “Sirius didn’t do it!”

“Mrs. Black,” the Head said sternly, “You have hit your head very hard. I assure you, we know what we are doing. We thank you for your help in warning us what was going on here.”

“No, you don’t—” I began, I felt my sanity slipping away fast.

“Libby,” someone said putting a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Kingsley.

“Kingsley, Sirius didn’t do it. I swear he didn’t,” I shouted.

“Libby, it’s okay. Some Muggles that survived saw the whole thing. They told us exactly what happened.” Kingsley said gently, “Sirius was working for You-Know-Who. He sold James and Lily out to him. Peter tried to stop him, but Sirius won. Don’t worry, Libby, Sirius is off to Azkaban. You’ll never see him again.”

Nothing I did convinced anyone of the truth. Somehow, no one that knew of the prophecy remembered, not even Dumbledore. Everyday more people thought me to be mad and everyday, my sanity got harder to grasp without Sirius. In less then a week, Aunt Becky and Uncle Scott checked me into a long term ward at St. Mungo’s for madness. I had lost so much of myself that I didn’t fight back. I don’t even think I knew what was happening to me.

Everyone said that I was losing my mind because, in less then twelve hours, I lost someone who was like a brother to me, my best friend, and my husband. I “faced horrors that no one should have to face” and that I would be back to normal when the shock of it wore off.

Many said that I didn’t need to be there when they visited. Like when Ben showed up. He would talk to me of things other then what had happened and I would talk back like a normal person. That was when my doctors got excited saying that I was showing improvement. But then when people such as Remus came in, he would tell me that I need to move on and I would go “nuts” again. Really, I just went into hysterics of what really had happened.

I was under so many potions to clam me down and help me sleep. Some days I had no idea that I was even in a hospital. Other days I was full awear of it. Sometimes I was so drugged up on potions that I couldn’t remember anything but the white walls of the room I was kept in.

Everyday, I seemed to forget more and more. Sometimes I didn’t even remember I was once married to Sirius. That would scare me, because I didn’t want to forget the happiest times of my life. Aunt Becky contentiously told me that they weren’t my happiness time if it was all a lie. I would scream for her to get out and leave me alone.

I grew closer to Jacob being locked in St. Mungo’s. He was really there for me. I was there for a year and a half and Jacob came and saw me everyday. He talked of our childhood and told me of the happy times I had with Sirius. He seemed to have tried to learn as much as he possibly could about my relationship with Sirius to tell me of them. I think that’s what helped me hang onto a bit of my sanity. Jacob coming in and telling me stories. He was a Healer, after all, so he knew exactly what I needed.

I loved him for it and was so glad that he had calmed me. Without my little brother, I would have been driven further into madness that I would doubt I would ever find myself again.

I was released finally. I felt like I was re-born.

No longer did I remember the prophecies. Or how in love Sirius and I were. Or that we were betrayed by Peter and I was the one to suggest we should use Peter as the Secret Keeper and not Sirius. Instead, I remembered that I dated Sirius in sixth year to seventh year when we got married. We were never so in love that I couldn’t even sleep without him or that I lost my sanity whenever he left me. We were just a couple that wanted to get married. We had a son and we loved him. Nothing powerful or worth remembering.

I lived with my Aunt and Uncle for a while to make sure that I didn’t go into a relapse or something. But I was fine. I acted normal and everything. When Tristan turned three, Kingsley came back to see me and asked if I wanted my job back. I eagerly accepted, wanting to make things as normal as possible.

I was planning on selling the house that Sirius and I once lived in. But Dumbledore asked me to see him before I did so. I agreed.

Taking Tristan with me, we went to Hogwarts for a meeting. I remembered it all so clearly. But I didn’t remember of my relationship with Sirius.

“Miss Cullen, how are you?” Dumbledore asked. I had gone back to my original last name, even though I was technically still married to Sirius.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I said, sitting down in the chair Dumbledore offered for me.

“And how’s Tristan,” Dumbledore asked, looking at the three-year-old that was looking around him in amazement and looking more like his father everyday.

“He’s fine, as well,” I smiled, staring at my whole life.

“Good, good,” Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, “How’s life outside the hospital treating you?”

“Really well, thank you,” I said, realizing how sort my answers were, “I’m relieved to be out of there, actually. Those last few months were torture, I was so bored.”

“I heard you got your job back?”

“I did. I didn’t think I would because I would be ‘unstable’” I explained, “But they welcomed me back with open arms. I have to say that it keeps me busy. I don’t know what I did without it.” I laughed.

“I also heard your planning on selling the house?” Dumbledore continued.

“Doctors say that it’s best I get rid of everything that once reminded me of Sirius and my life before James and Lily died,” I said sadly. Just remembering gave me a lot of pain. I never really got a chance to grieve the death of my friends and I had been told to stay away from Harry.

“Well, I say you should move back into the house,” Dumbledore smiled softly, “Move back in and remember the man you once loved. Even those in Azkaban need to be remembered sometimes.”

I didn’t know how to reply to that and I spent the next twenty minutes with Dumbledore trying to explain to him that I could not move back into that house if I was constantly reminded of Sirius. Remembering the man that broke my heart and was now rotting away in Azkaban was not something I was supposed to be doing. That could drive me into madness again.

Yet, as I walked down the corridor with Tristan in my arms, I decided not to sell the house. I could use it, actually.

I moved back in a few weeks later. Pinky welcomed me with open arms. He was glad to see Tristan grown up happy and healthy. Over the next few months, I packed away all of the things that once belonged to Sirius and put them in the attic. With his things, I also put my promise ring, engagement ring, and my wedding ring. I even took off the locket Sirius had given me in 6th year for Christmas and put them away. I wasn’t wearing them, but I had been given them back.

All the pictures that Sirius was in were also packed away. Everything. I never spoke of him or even thought of him. That was my goal. And I was succeeding in that goal, too, until Tristan was six years old and saw that many kids his age had a Dad and a Mum.

“Mummy,” he asked me one night when I was tucking him into bed, “Why don’t I have a Daddy?”

“You do,” I said, softly.

“Where is he?” Tristan asked. I hesitated. Dumbledore had told that one day Tristan would ask. I had told him I would hide nothing from Tristan no matter what.

“In jail,” I said, sadly.

“Why? Was he mean?” Tristan look shocked to learn this, he had grown up fast and acted older then he really was. This was one of those rare times he acted his age for once.

“In a way, yes,” I nodded, “But you won’t be like that. I promise.”

Tristan looked just like Sirius. The grey eyes, handsome features, silky black hair, and annoying dimple in his left cheek. But Tristan acted just like me. That I was happy about. I wouldn’t be getting to many letters when he goes off to Hogwarts. I just hoped that day wouldn’t come to soon.

I hadn’t spoken to Remus since he visited me in St. Mungo’s quite a few years ago. I almost ran into him on Christmas when I went to visit the graves of James and Lily and Kirsten. All three of them were together now. I would visit them a lot and tell them everything. Sometimes I would cry, other times I would laugh out loud to myself. I wished I could see Harry and tell James and Lily how he was, but I was forbidden to go anywhere near the Dursley’s home.

Slowly, I made friends with Ben Carlson. He was married to Susan Orrin, believe it or not. Her twin, Samantha, was married to Jeremy Day. This surprised me when I returned to work from St. Mungo’s. Yet, I was glad that Ben was able to move on from me. Though, he was still close to me. I loved him like I loved James. He helped me when I needed it most and I appreciated that. The Orrin twins were no longer mean or rude. They had really grown up and treated me like a sister.

My job at the Ministry was important to me. In a way, I became a workaholic and was crazy about catching as many Dark wizards as possible, having been married to one. I quickly became one of the best Aurors in the Ministry and was even asked to train some willing Aurors. I quickly agreed.

Before I knew it, Tristan and I were buying his school books for his first year at Hogwarts. He was so excited and eager. He didn’t know which store he wanted to go to first. I was sad to see him leaving though. Taking him to the train station brought back memories that I had tried hard to forget. I remembered getting on the train in my sixth year. How I had fallen asleep on Sirius’s shoulder. The sudden memory startled me and I didn’t know how I could suddenly remember that.

“Wow, Mum, this is so cool!” Tristan said as he pushed his trolley towards the train. I was looking around. Jacob had come with me to say good bye to Tristan. The two were nuts about each other.

“It is, isn’t it?” I asked, laughing.

I bumped into someone.

“Oh, sorry,” I said. I looked up into the grinning face of Arthur Weasley. He worked in a Department not far from my own.

“Libby!” he said, smiling. He never forgot to greet me in the mornings. Or nights. Which ever I was working.

“Hi, Arthur, how are you?” I asked, smiling slightly.

“Very good, thank you. Your son starting Hogwarts?” he asked me. I smiled.

“Yes, he is. This is Tristan,” I said, pulling Tristan’s arm to introduce him to Arthur Weasley.

“First year?” a small voice asked. I looked to see a cute red haired girl with freckles. She was obviously a Weasley.

“Yes,” Tristan said shyly.

“I’m Ginny!” the girl smiled looking rather happy to find someone her own age.

“Tristan,” Tristan replied.

“Yes, this is little Ginny, my youngest,” Arthur said, “Then the twins, Fred and George. And Percy, over there. My youngest son, Ron’s, friend Hermione. . .and hmm, where have Harry and Ron gotten to?”

“Got on the train already, maybe?” I suggested.

The train whistled. I quickly said goodbye to Tristan as he mounted the train and then waved good bye to me. I watched him go sadly, remembering the first time I rode on a train. The first time I met Lily, Remus, and Sirius. . .

While Tristan behaved himself in school, like the good kid he was, I buried myself in work. I was beginning to remember more and more things from my years at school and would really rather not remember. So I worked harder then ever. I trained my students harder then ever. The only one that really acted eager to learn any of it was the Metamorphagi, Nymphadora Tonks.

One afternoon, I was working at home, writing up a report. Ace was watching me. Yes, I still had Ace. He was getting old now, being sixteen years old. Without Sirius, I thought he would have gotten sick, but he didn’t. He instead attached himself to me. This was the afternoon I remembered the first time Sirius and I kissed.

That dare. The one that I enjoyed so much, but refused to admit I liked. The one that started this whole thing. The kiss that made my life worth living. I found myself crying, because something in my memory triggered, reminding me how my I had love Sirius and connected myself to him.

I wiped my eyes, feeling pathetic. Do you think Sirius was crying over me? He was in Azkaban, rotting away slowly. He probably didn’t even know his name. I was the only one who remembered the kiss that started it all. The reason why my heart still ached, even if I had forgotten most of my past. Once you’re in love, you never really get over it. But that kiss meant nothing. Not to Sirius and barely to me. Because that was all it was:

It was only a kiss. . .


A/N: Well. tha's it guys. No more.

Thank you soo soo soo soo soo much for all the support you guys offered. I loved reading every last review, even the more. . .critical ones. I'm going to miss all of them and coming home every day to find a whole bunch just waiting to be answered. You guys have been wonderful and amazing through this whole story and i doubt I would have finished posting to quickly if it weren't for you!!

Now, some of you are probably wondering what the sequel is called, since I never exactly stated it. It's called Please, Remember Me based of Tim McGraw's song. The first chapter is titled Sick or Sane?(Fifty for a Twenty) from Senses Fail. Yup, I end with a Senses Fail song and start with one. They're sort of depressing, actually. ANyways, the sequel will be told in Sirius', Libby's, and Tristan's POV and will be from a little before Sirius escaped from Azkaban to a little after he falls through the veil.

So, I guess that is all I have to say. Again, if you want me to email you when the sequel is up and you have not yet left me your email, leave it in a review but you don't have to. I know how risky putting your email up on the internet is. lol.

Now, really I have nothing more to say. Thank you all once again. I will see you in the sequel(and a handful of you in other fics). So until then, good bye. Leave one last review telling me you last thought on the story.

Thanks again!!