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Of Broom Closets and Love Potions by The Marauders

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 7,425

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Strong Language, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature

Genres: Fluff, Humor, AU
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily

First Published: 04/26/2006
Last Chapter: 05/25/2006
Last Updated: 05/25/2006


Live James Potter's life as he struggles through the longest four days of his life, and tries to figure out why Lily Evans hates him so much! Little exerpts from James' diary... uhm... I mean journal. Thanx to CelticKisses for the rocking banner!!!

Chapter 1: Of Broom Closets and Love Potions
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Of Broom Closets and Love Potions

Disclaimer: nothing in this story belongs to me, except Phoenix and some other characters. all things you recognize is the work of the amazing J.K Rowling!

a/n: hey! I had to change this, otherwise it might get deleted, hope you like the new version!!
January 4th 1978

“Snow, snow, snow!” Sirius Black sang as he pranced around on the beds in the Seventh Year Boy Dormitory.

“Snow, Snow, Snow!” James Potter added his own voice to the chorus. He and Sirius grabbed hands and began to dance in weird complicated moves.

“What’re you doing?” Peter Pettigrew asked them curiously.

“Stupid Peter,” they both chorused. James continued in a tone that screamed ‘duh!’ “We were doing the snow dance!”

Sirius smiled evilly and said, "I think we need to do the snow dance on Remus.” Remus Lupin the last of their quartet was fast asleep in his bed, ignorant to the white heaven that lay outside.

“Right,” James said. Smirking he picked up his wand and headed over to Remus’ bed.

He and Sirius stood on either side, and joined their hands, and began their chant. James waved his wand, and cold snow began to fall all over Remus.

Remus bolted up in bed and roared, “All right, who in the name of bloody hell gave them the sugar?”


After it had been thoroughly explained to Remus that no one had gotten any sugar, and after Remus had dressed, they all headed down to the Great Hall.

For their meals during Christmas, all the tables had vanished, and the students and teachers ate at the same table. This was not necessarily a good thing for Professor McGonagall, who took trouble to chose the same dishes as James and Sirius did, incase they had pranked something.

This morning was no different. James entered the hall with his friends, and took seats. As James absently fiddled with his food, he thought of all the snowmen they were going to build, and the sledding they were going to do.

An evil smirk spread across his face as he thought of the snowball fights they were going to have.

As they as ate food, James observed his misfit group of friends. Peter didn’t, for a lack of a better word, fit in with the rest of the group’s image. He was short, about 5ft 9, was pudgy, had a pasty complexion, was blindingly blonde and had watery blue eyes. Peter himself was the first of the group to get attached to anyone; he was to get married after Graduation.

The other two, were pretty much opposites, looks wise. Sirius had slightly long shaggy, black hair and grey eyes. Remus on the other hand, had shoulder length sandy blonde hair, and amber coloured eyes. Both of them were roughly the same height- 6ft 1. Both played Beater on the Quidditch team and because of that, both of them had rather lean and firm bodies.

Their roles in their little group was different, however, Sirius was the womanizer of the group, Remus was the brain of The Marauders and resident Prefect, and Peter- Peter was the annoying tagalong.

James on the other hand, was almost exactly like Sirius. He had jet-black hair that was unrulier than Sirius’, hazel eyes and glasses. He was leader of The Marauders, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy and Star Chaser.

He was also 6ft 1, like his other two friends, and had a major part of the female population eating out of his palms. Not that he wanted any of them.

James’ eyes wandered, unsurprisingly to Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams, and the only girl he wanted but couldn’t have. Ever since their first year, Lily and James had had a sort of rival thing going. In Fourth year, things began to change.

James found himself admiring Lily more often than not. This year, however he’d noticed a change. Last year, he’d tried very hard to stop his Marauding ways in front of Lily, and it seemed she’s noticed.

When they’d met in the Heads compartment, she’d been surprised but not disappointed to find out that James was Head Boy, and it was her who had suggested that they try and overcome their differences.

James had been overjoyed, Yet, James knew her, but couldn’t call her more than a friend- even a best friend. And that thought irked him. Sitting with Lily was her best friend- Phoenix Cadwallder.

James sneaked a glance at Remus who was watching Phoenix (or as James new her, Nix) out of the corner of his eyes, with a sort of dreamy expression on his face. James smirked.

Nix was different from anyone James had ever met before. She was constantly in dreamland and was barely connected to earth. She spent a lot of her time reading the Quibbler, which was a magazine that no one trusted because of its farfetched ideas.

If anyone knew, it would be a mystery to them why someone so down to earth like Moony, would like someone so abstractly weird like Nix. The truth is that it is Nix’s absolute weird- ity that make her appealing. Not to mention she wasn’t exactly sore on the eyes.

She had long curly red/ orange/ blonde hair. And her eyes were purple in colour. Her skin was pale and unblemished. AND she was pretty curvy. Not to mention she’s the nice height of 5ft 9. Short enough to tuck her head under a guy’s neck, but tall enough not to seem a midget next to said guy.

In James’ opinion, Remus was exactly what Nix needed and vice versa. Though James admitted that Nix was pretty, she didn’t even hold a candle to Lily.

Lily had beautiful red hair that fell all the way to her mid back. It was curly like Nix’s but so much beautiful-er. And her eyes were a startling emerald green, like pools of emerald that James wouldn’t mind drowning in. She was about 5ft 7. That was pretty short compared to James’ 6ft 1. But she was so hot! She was curvy, yet slender. And so hot!

James’ naughty thoughts were cut short by Professor Dumbledore who stood up to say something, James supposed he as just going to inaugurate the snow day but instead he said in a very grave voice, “I’m afraid that there will be no going out of the castle today, as the snow outside is neck deep. I believe It is the result of a snow dance,” here he shot a penetrating gaze at James and Sirius who were absolutely disappointed.

“So kindly refrain from doing too much damage to the castle today, it will be preferable if you sit in the common room. Thank you, and good day!” Whistling to himself, he strode from the Hall, Professor McGonagall hurrying after him with an important piece of news.

James turned to Remus, Sirius and Peter. All four of them had rather disappointed looks on their faces. “Now what?” groaned Peter.

Remus sighed sadly, “We go to the Common Room.”

The four boys got up and headed towards the Common Room, letting out disappointed sighs at regular intervals. They slipped into the Common Room. Peter brought out a book he’d received from Christmas, and began reading. Remus pulled out his chess set and sat down to figure out some moves.

Predictably, James and Sirius had nothing to do, and ten minutes later both were bored out of their minds. With a couple of quick hand signals, James and Sirius settled on a common activity, their favourite one in fact- Irritating Remus.

“Remmy! Remmy! Remmy!” Sirius said in a singsong voice, poking Remus. Remus studiously ignored him.

“Shut up, Sirius!” Remus snapped when Sirius’s voice got way too bugging for him. “I know you’re just bugging me.”

“No, no, no!” Sirius cried, “it’s really important!’ Sirius looked at Remus with wide eyes. Sighing, Remus looked up.

Quick as lightning, James switched most of the pieces on the chessboard.

“What is it Sirius?” Remus asked exasperatedly.

“Nothing!” Sirius said and he burst out laughing. James joined in. Remus rolled his eyes and looked back at the chessboard. A frown creased his forehead as he saw the pieces in different places.

“What’s wrong, Moony?” James asked in wide-eyed innocence. Remus shook his head to indicate nothing was wrong.

“Remus,” Sirius poked him in the side.

“Moony,” James poked him too.

“Remmy!” Sirius repeated.

“Rem,” James said. Peter was giggling in his seat by this time. Remus was glaring at the chess pieces that were glaring back at him.

“Fine!” Remus exploded, after three more minutes under the poking argument. “What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?”

“You have to give us something valuable!” Sirius and James chorused. Remus dug around his pockets, and pulled out two bars of Honeyduke’s chocolate.

Remus shoved it into their hands. James and Sirius looked at each other incredulously. They gently took the chocolate, and before anyone could say “NO!!!!!!!” They had devoured it.

“What did you give them?” Peter asked from behind his book.

“Chocolate,” Remus muttered absently, scratching his nose with a quill.

“Chocolate,” Peter murmured.

“CHOCOLATE!” both of them looked at each other and screamed. Remus turned frantically to James and Sirius.

What he saw made him nearly cry in hysteria. James and Sirius were bouncing up and down, gaining speed and velocity with each jump. Smeared around their mouths, was chocolate.

“Remus!” James bounced.

“Remus!” Sirius bounced.

“Remus, Remus, Remus,” they chanted together. Sirius giggled and James snickered while Remus and Peter looked at each other in horror.

“James,” Sirius beckoned imperiously. “Give me your shirt.”

“Yes Master,” James said giggling. He pulled off his shirt and gave it to Sirius, who then pulled off his shirt and held it in his hand.

“Remus, give me your shirt.”

“No,” Remus said, enunciating the word.

“Alright,” Sirius said trying to sound dangerous but failing due to the apparent giggles in his voice. “I’ll take it myself!”

“Accio Remus’ shirt!” Sirius roared. James giggled and bounced towards Peter.

“Sirius!” Remus roared. And then the games began. Sirius ran around the Common Room, Remus chasing after him. Both of them were shirtless, and Sirius’ arms were filled with Remus’, James’ and his own shirt.

Meanwhile James tried to head up the stairs and get to the sugar stash that Remus kept, but Peter was blocking the doorway. These ridiculous antics continued for a fair amount of time, until the portrait hole swung open to reveal Lily and Nix.

Lily looked completely unfazed by their levels of nudity. Suddenly, James stopped and giggled, “I know what’s going to happen now,”

Lily looked at him kindly. “What’s going to happen now, James?”

James giggled again and said, “You’re going to catch sight of my manly body, faint, wake up and decide that you wanted to marry me, so we live happily ever after.”

Lily smirked lightly, “You wish Potter.” She turned and looked at Remus pityingly, “they got to the sugar again, did they?”

Remus nodded, and Phoenix decided to take pity on Remus, so she helped him wrestle his shirt back from Sirius, not that she wasn’t enjoying the view (as she was quick to point out). So after all three of them had their shirts on, and the sugar high had worn off a little, they were all sitting in front of the fire, completely bored.

And then the inevitable happened. Four boys, two girls. Stuck in a common room, with no place else to go. Understandably, Peter made the suggestion to play Truth or Dare. James nearly groaned. Everyone knew you never suggested Truth or Dare in front of Sirius. Everyone that is, other than one of his best friends apparently.

And then Sirius (as expected) conjured a bottle, a vial of Veratiserum (he was a bloody good potion brewer. The best in the school in fact) and a binding magical contract for the dares.

He blackmailed Remus (by saying he was going to tell Phoenix about Remus’ obsession with her. He used sign language, thankfully) into playing, who in turn bribed James with chocolate, James asked Phoenix to play, they played on the Quidditch team together so they understand one another (she and Lily were the other two chasers). It was s hock to everyone when Nix got on the team. She was usually so lost down on the ground, but when she was in the air, boy could she play! Nix bribed Lily with some unknown information into playing.

So there they were, playing. Sirius spun the bottle first. It landed on Nix. And the devil Sirius, asked her quite innocently after she’d drunk the potion, “Nix, dear, who is it that you like again?”
Nix stuck up her rude finger at Sirius, before the potion compelled her to say, “Remus John Lupin”

Needless to say Remus blushed, and to James’ absolute horror and shock, he didn’t ask out the one girl he had been crushing on for seven years. Even after she admitted that she liked him.

Nix looked extremely dejected, when she spun the bottle. James felt a smirk spread across his face when the bottle landed on him.

James obviously chose dare, no Marauder ever chose truth. It was chicken like. Plus they have a lot of secrets that they didn’t want anyone to know. Though she was sad, Nix said to him in a bossy voice “you have to play Beater in the next Quidditch practice, it’s tomorrow.”

James rolled his eyes, “Nix, I’m the Quidditch Captain, I know when the next practice is! Any way I accept!” Nix blushed a little.

James spun the bottle, and glared at Remus evilly when it landed on him. Remus gulped audibly.

James said, “Remus there’s a girl in this room you like, and I don’t mean Peter,” Sirius, Lily and Nix snorted, Peter blushed. “I dare you to kiss her.” Remus reluctantly got up and crawled over to Nix and Lily.

“May I?” He asked Nix hesitantly. Nix was so shocked that she didn’t respond but Lily nodded vigorously. James watched in envy as Remus kissed Nix, he wished he could do that to Lily. James eyes wandered to her and he was shocked when she looked back at him like that. Both of them blushed and turned away.

The next few dares and truths were uninteresting, except when Remus dared Peter to walk around Hogwarts shirtless, until a professor gave him a week’s worth detentions.

Then Sirius spun the bottle, it came to land on Lily. “Dare,” Lily said reluctantly. James felt a gleeful smile spread across his face. Sirius would be a good friend and dare her to kiss James.

James was horrified when Sirius said, “I dare you to refuse the next guy who asks you out.” Lily nodded, albeit a bit reluctantly.

After a while, the game began dwindling down. Remus and Nix were the first to spilt.
Remus looked hesitantly at Nix, “I know a secret passage out of school, you wanna go?” Nix nodded happily. Remus got p and tugged her to her feet, grinning sillily. They walked out the portrait hole, smiling goofily.

Peter got up as well, “Homework- have- gotta do.” He trailed off when he realized that no one cared. When the Common Room was empty except for James, Lily and Sirius, Lily sighed exasperatedly.

“You want to pull a prank don’t you?” Sirius and James nodded enthusiastically. “Go ahead,” Lily said, “I need a couple of laughs anyway.”

James and Sirius whooped and enveloped Lily in a hug. Sirius gave Lily a smacking kiss on her cheek, and James did so hesitantly.

As they ran out of the portrait hole, James' spirits lifted when he saw Lily standing there, smiling goofily with a hand on the cheek that James had kissed.


Later James was in his room, writing in his diary, uhm, journal. ‘Dear diary, um, (clears throat) I mean journal.’ he had just scribbled down, when he realized that his friends weren’t around.

He closed his eyes and tried to recall, before he could do anything, however, Sirius pranced into the room. “I just a brew a potion,” He said with an air of someone planning something.

Next to him, Peter giggled. Sirius threw a look at him that screamed, ‘say anything and I will castrate you, without anesthesia.’ Predictably, Peter shut up.

James was saved from asking Sirius what he’d planned by the return of Remus form Hogsmeade. Where he’d gone with Nix. Six hours ago. Remus was flushed and his lips were swollen.

“You lucky wolf!” Sirius howled, with wide eyes and a smirk on his face.

“Aawooooooo!” James howled. Remus flushed even more.

“Nothing- nothing happened!” he said struggling to cover the smile that obviously said something else.

“Yes,” James said patiently, “that’s why you have Nix’s lipstick on your chest.” Sirius and Peter burst out laughing, as Remus buttoned up the shirt, covering Nix’s trademark purple lipstick.

“What happened?” Peter asked curiously. All four boys flopped down on the floor as Remus told his story.

In the end Sirius and James summarized. “So basically-“ Sirius said.

“- it involved saliva-“ James continued.

“- confessions-“ Sirius added.

“- and all round cheesiness!” James concluded. As Remus blushed the other three Marauders burst out laughing.

“Ha ha,” Remus said dryly. He got up and headed to the bathroom. James pulled his diary towards him and continued to write. Fifteen minutes later he had finished,

‘Ah well.
G’night dear diary. Um I mean journal!
James ‘Prongs’ Potter.
P.S: I wonder why Evans hates me?’

Half an hour later, all four boys were dead tired. They all collapsed into bed, and turned the lights off.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, James heard Sirius say in the eerie silence, “James, I have suddenly discovered a secret fascination of mine, with potions.”

“I don’t really give a rat’s sodding backside Sirius.” James said, sleepily.

“Can I have a few hairs from your brush?” Sirius asked quietly. James didn’t sleep for the rest of the night.


January 5th 1978

The next day was exceptionally slow. The rest of the school had returned that morning, so there were classes being held, much to James and Sirius’ consternation. Their planned prank had been perfected and would be executed that evening at dinner, after their practice.

Later in the day, James was heading down to the Quidditch Pitch, ready for practice. It was only once he was there that he remembered the Dare from yesterday.

“Remember, James, you have to play Beater,” Nix sweetly reminded him. James looked over at Sirius and Remus who were swinging around their beater’s bats.

“So which one of you losers are trading places with me/” James questioned smugly, sure that he would be able to take on the position.

Remus immediately answered, “I believe it unsafe to part Sirius from his bat- I’ll switch with you.”

“That,” James agreed, “Or you just want to spend more time with your girlfriend!” Sirius made obscene kissing noise, just as the rest of the team arrived.

Lily and Olivia Fraser-Johnson were talking to Oscar Wood. Olivia played Keeper and Oscar played Seeker. Olivia had gotten married to her boyfriend Daniel Johnson over the summer.

“I don’t even want to know,” Lily and Olivia chorused upon hearing Sirius’ sounds. Sirius just stuck out his tongue at them.

“Right,” James said briskly, “For today there’s a slight change in the line-up. Lupin and I will be exchanging places. I’ll be Beater with Black and Lupin, Evans and Cadwallder will be Chasers.”

“Why?” Oscar asked curiously, looking at James in surprise.

James smirked, “Dare.” He sobered up, “Now get into the air and don’t come down till I feel we’re ready to take on the Wimbourne Wasps and win!” All seven of them shot into the air.

And from that moment on, everything began to go wrong. Remus, not being suited to the Chaser’s position, did everything wrong.

“No, Remus, you’re supposed to catch the ball!” Lily roared impatiently for the hundredth time.

“Sorry,” Remus said apologetically, “I forgot that I’m not supposed to hit it.”

Remus caught the Quaffle that Nix threw at him, and headed for the goal. He threw it and the ball flew… about three feet. Olivia screamed in frustration. Remus smiled apologetically.
Meanwhile, James was doing so much worse.

“Head up, Prongs!” Sirius roared and hit a Bludger towards James. James swung his bat, and hit the Bludger. He screamed triumphantly, until her saw the Bludger go and crash into the stands, leaving a huge crater behind.

“Argh!” Sirius roared. James smirked sheepishly.

“Sorry!” He called. ’Next time,’ he vowed, ’Next time he’d hit it properly.’

He soon got his chance. The Bludger was heading towards him, “Come on, James!” Sirius screamed, “Pass to me!”

“Okay!” James roared and hit the Bludger. It stooped into a vertical dive, and speeded to wards the ground.

“BACK UP!” roared Sirius, and everyone flew higher, to about hundred feet. And just in time. The Bludger smashed into the ground with immense force, sending pieces of ground and grass flying into the air, and dust flew everywhere.

Ten minutes later, things had settled down. They all floated down and saw the huge crater in the ground, at least ten feet in diameter. “Oops?” James muttered smiling sheepishly.

Sirius smacked his palm against his forehead, “Maybe this was a bad idea,”

“No,” James said fiercely, “I want to do this, I know I can!” the team looked at him wearily but nodded.

The question was, what exactly did James know he could do? Because in a span of twenty minutes he broke both the Quidditch crate and Oscar’s broomstick.

After the broomstick was broken, there was no point in continuing. “Smack that Bludger down, James,” Sirius called from the ground, momentarily forgetting whom he was talking to, due to his exhaustion.

“Sure” James said, and before Sirius could realize what he’d just said, James smacked the Bludger. The only problem- it was headed towards Lily who was floating on her broomstick, a look of calm on her face.

“LILY!” Six voices shouted. Lily’s eyes snapped open but before she could move, the Bludger connected with her face. Lily let out a shriek of pain. James stopped horrified.

“Oh sod, oh crap, oh shit, oh bugger,” James muttered as he rushed over to Lily, who had mingled blood and tears on her face. “Lily, I am soooooooo sorry!” and absolute distraught James told her.

“Get her to the hospital, you sodding idiot!” Roared Oscar. James directed Lily’s broom to the ground and then picked her up and practically ran to the Hospital Wing.

Ten minutes later both of them emerged from the Hospital Wing, Lily both cured and thankfully pain-free. “Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!”

“James, it’s fine, no lasting damage done.” Lily said soothingly. James sighed in relief.

“But, just so you know, I really AM sorry.” James said sincerely.

“No,” Lily said, “you’re James Potter, though I do admit you are sorry.” She cracked up, and James unable to resist, chased her down the corridor, screaming that he was going to tickle her.

Understandably, James was very happy when the two of them entered the hall. He and Lily slipped into the seats their friends had saved them. James looked down the table and signaled to Oscar that he would pay for his broom.

A fifth year girl, slid up and sat next to Sirius and began to engage him in conversation. Peter was talking to his fiancé Rosa (Rosaline Turner) and Remus and Nix were feeding each other.

“Poor sod,” James muttered to Lily, sympathetically, “she’s got him whipped,”

Lily looked calculatingly at James, “What if when you get a girlfriend, she wants you to do the same thing?”

James turned his face and met her eyes, “There’s only one girl who I want to be my girlfriend, she doesn’t want to. But if she were my girlfriend, and she wanted me to do that, I would.”


“Love,” James answered simply and both of them blushed. James turned away first, unable to look at her and not tell her.

Suddenly a silence fell over the hall, and James turned around to look why. What he saw, made him scowl and nearly made him rise from his seat. ‘Seth Ryan’ (as he had instructed everyone to call him) Montgomery was standing over Lily, smiling down at her, and she was looking back up at him.

Sensing danger, Remus and Nix stopped their PDA, Sirius blew off the fifth year and Peter and Rosa turned to see what the commotion was about. The entire hall, including the teachers, was watching Seth Ryan, one of the hottest boys in the school, ask out, Lily Evans, James Potter’s unofficial girl.

For there could be no reason other than an impending date for which Seth Ryan would come to the Gryffindor table for. He elbowed James out of the way and sat down between James and Lily. James scowled and the entire school hissed. James was at least two inches taller and five kilos heavier than Seth Ryan and could easily beat him up.

James scowled at the expression on Lily’s face. He didn’t understand what girls found so appealing about this buffoon. Okay, he had blonde hair with black highlights, and okay, he had golden eyes with black flecks. And okay, he was above average, okay, he was on the Quidditch team, and yeah he was 5ft 11. But James was so much better.

‘No, I am NOT jealous,’ James told the voice in his head. ‘Just protective of her.’

Seth Ryan began the conversation, “So you’re the head girl right?”

“No,” James said loudly, “She just stole the badge.” The two lovebirds ignored him, but the boys in the hall muffled their laughter, and the girls glared at Lily. She had James Potter and Seth Ryan after her.

“Yeah,” Lily said dreamily.

“Lily Evans, right?” Seth Ryan asked smiling widely, though it seemed a bit strained.

“Wow, you know her name! how smart are you?” James asked him sarcastically. Lily whirled around and glared at James, and behind her back, Seth Ryan mouthed ‘jealous’.

“yeah,” Lily said turning back to him, “You’re Seth right?”

“Seth Ryan,” the idiot quickly corrected, “I think you’re really pretty, did you know you’re really pretty?”

“yeah, I tell her all the time!” James interjected. Boys all around the hall were stuffing napkins into their mouths to muffle the laughter. Sensible girls too, were reciprocating that.

Lily muttered forcefully, “I’m glad you think so,”

Seth Ryan smiled and told her, “I really like you,”

“Don’t beat around the bush,” James advised scornfully.

Lily smiled at Seth Ryan a little nervously. “yeah,”

Seth Ryan said softly, “listen, Lily, I’m not one to beat around the bush,”

“I wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t told me!” James proclaimed in fake shock. James was gratified to see even Professor Dumbledore had his beard in his mouth to stifle laughter, and Professor McGonagall’s lips were twitching.

Seth Ryan gritted his teeth and said, “So I was wondering the next Hogsmeade visit is coming up, would you go with me?”

“I ask her all the time, she refuses,” James said in panic. Lily looked like she was going to assent, but then Sirius sobered up and intervened.

“Lily, sweetheart, I think it’s very dare-ing of him to ask you don’t you?”

Lily groaned and looked at Seth Ryan, “I’m sorry, but I have a prior engagement. Maybe some other time?”

“How about never?” chorused James, Remus and Sirius. This was the last straw, everyone in the hall burst out laughing and Remus and Peter carted Seth Ryan back to the Ravenclaw table.

James silently handed Sirius a bar of chocolate when Lily wasn’t looking. Sirius smiled and broke off half, handing it back to James. The meaning was clear. To bug Remus on a rainy day.

Just as everyone had sat back down, James and Sirius’ prank went off. Sirius and James had spiked six Slytherin’s potions with Love potion, and the rest with a potion that Sirius had concocted. So Snape got up and ran over to McGonagall and began sprouting some rubbish, “I love thee, so much, that the god’s are astounded. Thou maketh my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Say that thou loves yours truly too!”

Not exactly great, but Sirius did make up the lines after all.

Then suddenly, Bellatrix Black and her twin sister Narcissa Black, ran over to the staff table. Bella and Cissa hate Lily and Nix, they usually made their lives miserable. Bella and Cissa are Sirius’ cousins.

Bella waved her wand and suddenly Dumbledore was in a Bride’s dress and she herself in a groom’s clothes. And then they set up a mock wedding, with Cissa as best man and Slughorn as Maid of Honour. Of course, as tradition persists, the maid of honour falls in love with the best man and then they have their own wedding.

Meanwhile, Crabbe and Goyle are professing their love to Meriadoc and Flitwick respectively.

The rest of the Slytherin house, meanwhile, were dressed in choir clothes and were singing love songs and ballads.

The prank was so hilarious that the entire hall was in tears. Everyone that is, except Professor McGonagall.


Later in the Common Room the rest of the house made it abundantly clear that the loss of fifty points was worth it when Snape asked Professor McGonagall to marry him.

“Wilst thou maketh me the happiest man on earth? Wilst thou agree to be bonded to me?” Lily mimicked and the entire common room burst out laughing.

James was scribbling in his diary, ‘should I ask her now why she hates me?’ James wrote.

January 6th 1978

James was walking to Transfiguration, their last class of the day, with Sirius and Remus, Peter had been unable to cope with the Transfiguration at NEWT level.

“Whatcha smirking at?” Sirius asked, walking in a crooked line, bumping into James often.

“The view here is spectacular,” James said as they passed a window. But he wasn’t talking about the grounds, he was talking about the creature that was walking in front of him.

Lily was walking to class in front of them. Lately, she’d had a growth spurt and her robes had grown short. She’s taken special permission, and therefore didn’t have to wear robes, until she had a chance to visit Hogsmeade.

Therefore, without her robes, James had a very nice view, of her posterior. Remus rolled his eyes, and Sirius let out an appreciative whistle. “Whatever it is you’re going to do Sirius, don’t.” Remus advised.

“very sorry, Prongs buddy, but I can’t resist.” Sirius said, not sounding regretful at all.

“Sirius, what exactly are you going to do?” James asked nervously.

Sirius smirked, “Let’s just say, you remember how angry you were when I told Lily you sleep with a picture of her under your pillow?”


“We’ll this is going to be so much worse.” And before James could do anything, Sirius sped up and lightly slapped Lily. On her arse. In front of James.

James saw red. He was about to beat up Sirius, when Lily did it for him. Barely a millisecond after Sirius slapped her, she whirled around and punched him right in the jaw. He emerald eyes blazing in anger.

“All those times she practiced on me paid off didn’t it?” James asked Remus softly, as Sirius howled in pain, and people in the corridors laughed.

“yes,” agreed Remus, “That was a beautifully executed right hook. I’m proud of her.” James and Remus exchanged smirks.


Professor McGonagall had cancelled Transfiguration as a treat for Lily’s great act. Sirius and Remus were somewhere in the school, Sirius had not met James after the incident. Which was good for him, in James’ opinion.

James was in the dormitories, inscribing the incident into his diary. When suddenly he realized that seven girls had congratulated Lily today for her heroic act, which meant that she would be in a supremely good mood.

’I can ask her why she hates me now!’ James wrote triumphantly before dropping his diary and running to the door. James bounded down the staircase and into the Common Room, where a ring of worshippers surrounded Lily.

“Hey Lily,” James said walking up to her, the girls immediately dispersed but watched from corners of the Common Room.

“Hey James,” she said and quickly followed it up, “Listen, if you’re asking me to apologize-“

James cut across, “No, no, I actually came over here to congratulate you on your beautiful right hook.”

Lily and James exchanged smirks, “yes it was good, thank you both for the compliments and the practice.”

“Lily,” James said a tad awkwardly, “I’ve been wondering for a long time, why do you hate me so much?”

Lily looked shocked, “I used to hate you, James, but you’re better now.” She smiled shyly.

“So,” I asked seizing the opportunity, “Will you go out with me?”

James didn’t even see it coming. Her hand whizzed towards his face, and connected with his jaw. James let out a hiss of pain, and Lily put her hand over her mouth.

Unable to stand the humiliation, James bounded up the stairs. He sat on his bed, knowing completely how Sirius felt. Suddenly the humour of the situation hit him.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. James opened it found Lily standing there, “Are you alright?” She asked hesitantly.

James blushed and grinned abashedly, “Yeah, nice left hook too, by the way.”

Lily smiled, “Listen, I don’t hate you, but I don’t like-like you either. And about punching you, you caught me off guard and I just panicked. Sorry.” She was sheepish.

James smiled, “It’z k. All I need is an ice pack. He gingerly touched is jaw. “Poor Sirius,” he commented. Lily laughed.

“So,” James said nervously, “I know you don’t like me, but you wanna hang out tomorrow, you know, just as friends?”

“I’d love to,” Lily said warmly. As soon as Lily had left, James let out a whoop. He grinned.

‘Bloody hell my jaw’s hurting. I’m gonna go find Sirius now. We’ll raid the kitchens; eat some food, cookies, and ice- cream. You know the good stuff.
See ya soon,
James Potter
P.S: Maybe now I’ll find out why Lily hates me! Oh wait a sec she doesn’t! So I’ll find out why she used to hate me! Yeah! I need an ice- pack.’
James scribbled and headed out of the Common Room.


January 7th 1978

The next day, James woke up excited. Today was the day that Lily Evans would fall madly in love with him. He grinned as he got ready, taking more care and paying more attention to his clothes.

To James’ shock, by the time he was ready, Peter and Sirius, the two late risers in their dorm, had already headed down to breakfast.

Remus and James went down together, discussing this latest development. When he arrived for breakfast, James saw Lily, looking beautiful, sitting at the Gryffindor Table with Sirius next to her, and a place for James next to him.

Swallowing his disappointment, James sat down next to Sirius. “So, Jamsie my boy, what will it be today? Pumpkin juice, pumpkin juice or pumpkin juice.”

James hitched a mock thoughtful expression on his face. “A difficult decision but I think I’ll have to go with pumpkin juice.” Lily and Remus smiled and rolled their eyes, Sirius handed Lily and James a goblet each while Nix and Peter were giggling.

James piled food on his plate and drank a large drought of pumpkin juice. He smacked his lips. “Ah-“ then he made the mistake of looking at Lily, and suddenly the image of him doing inappropriate things to her, flashed in his mid.

James choked on the eggs he had put in his mouth. Sirius smirking devilishly, slapped him on the back. Peter’s giggling was intensified. Lily suddenly began to choke too. Sirius helped her out as well. James looked at Lily again and suddenly jumped up.

The images were horrifying. “Gotta go,” James and Lily squeaked together and ran out of the Great Hall before going in opposite directions.

Ten minutes later, James was hurrying down the corridor. He had received a note from Peter saying he knew how to reverse the effects but James needed to come to the fifth floor. However, James was highly doubtful.

When he came to the fifth floor, he hurried towards the center. Peter was waiting there, a large smile on his face. “Where’s it?” James asked quickly.

“Get in here, and I’ll give it to you,” Peter instructed pointing to the broom closet nearby.
James cocked an eyebrow, “are you sure this isn’t an elaborate ruse to get me into a broom closet Peter?” Peter giggled shrilly and James rolled his eyes. Trust Peter to make fun f himself.

Peter opened the door that led into pitch black. Before James could go inside, a hand pushed him in, and the door was slammed behind him. “Hello?” A soft voice questioned.

James felt the signs of affection coming on, in a strangled voice h whispered, “Lily?” There was a sigh of relief, and after a few minutes, something flung themselves again James.

Recognizing the scent of Lily’s shampoo James groaned, “Lily this really isn’t a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Lily agreed, in a strangled voice. She broke away from James and looked up. James looked down and gasped. Shining in the darkness were her beautiful green eyes.

Before he could think, James found himself pressing Lily up against the wall. He didn’t even know how it happened. All he could see was the lust shining in her eyes.

Suddenly a horrific thought struck James. What if, twenty years from now, he looked back and realized he had hurt Lily because of his lust. He closed his eyes and gently lowered his lips onto hers.

And then his world exploded.

There were fireworks behind his eyelids, his heart was thumping his lips were tingling. It was the most amazing thing he had ever felt.

James came up for air. He was shocked when suddenly Lily launched herself at him, kissing him passionately. “Lily-“ he muttered in between kisses. “Lily- stop- this- is- all- potion- induced.”

“James,” she broke away, “you sodding wanker. The potion no matter how strong lasts only for fifteen minutes!”

James stared at her in shock. She looked at him shyly, and even in the darkness of the closet, he saw that she was blushing. He lifted her chin and whispered, “you don’t know how long I’ve waited to hear you say that.” And then he bungled it up, “I mean not exactly that, more along the lines of-“

She cut me off by giggling, and saying, “I like you a lot. Now shut up and kiss me.”
And James was proud to say that he did.


It was several hours and a thousand kisses later that the broom closet door swung open. On the other side was Remus and he was scowling. “Sirius told me about the potion he made, and Peter told us what he...” Remus trailed off when he saw Lily’s lipstick on James’ face and them holding hands, “-did” Remus completed lamely.

“Yeah,” Lily said, “we pretty much figured out that either Sirius hadn’t told Peter the full extents of the potion, or Peter bungled it up somehow.”

“Speaking of the devil, is Sirius in the Common Room?” James asked conversationally. Remus looked at them bemusedly and mutely nodded.

“Excellent,” Both Heads whispered and they set off at a sprint towards the Common Room. James crashed open the portrait hole and cried, “Accio Broom!”

His trusty Cleansweep Three, came flying down the stairs and headed into James’ hands. Silently, James and his new girlfriend, stalked towards Sirius who was busy lecturing Peter.

“And if you wanted to shove them in a closet, the least you could do was let me help, oh hello, James, Lily.” Sirius said airily, breaking off mid way, “I was just telling Peter about the disastrous consequences his actions could have had,” He peered at them cautiously, not noticing the broom, “there are no disastrous consequences are they?” he sounded a tad fearful.

“Not unless you call this disastrous,” Lily said sweetly, before James whacked Sirius on the head and Lily kicked him in his sensitive spot.

Sirius curled into a ball and wheezed out, “That was most definitely disastrous.”

“Poor baby,” Lily muttered sweetly, before waving her wand and getting rid of the pain. Then she leaned down and gave Sirius a light kiss on the lips, “That’s for getting me and James together,”

Sirius looked like he couldn’t believe his luck. At least that was until James smacked him on the head. “that,” James informed him, “was for kissing my girlfriend and this,” Sirius flinched, James chuckled and gave Sirius a Honeyduke’s chocolate bar, “is for getting us together.”

“My pleasure,” Sirius smirked, Lily then went into lecture mode and spent the next ten minutes screaming at Peter who was cowering in fear.

After Lily was done, James asked her innocently, “Lily why did you use to hate me?”

Lily sighed, “James I’ve told you a thousand times, you were arrogant, and egoistical. Not to mention a show-off.”

James scoffed, “Well so-rry! Is it my fault that I’m devilishly handsome, and awesome at Quidditch?” Lily rolled her eyes but looked at James curiously as he pulled out his little black book from his pocket.

“What’s wrong?” Lily asked inquisitively, as James sighed sadly.

James looked at Lily with wide eyes, “This,” he patted the book, affectionately, “Is my diary, sorry I mean journal.” Sirius coughed skeptically, James continued, “I’ve been writing in it for almost nine years now. I’m sad because now I must give up writing in it.”

“Why?” Lily asked curiously, with a smirk tugging at her lips.

James continued, “I simply will not have time, with all my boyfriend-ly, head boy, Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, Head Marauder and Star Chaser duties. Also, I can’t have my girlfriend think I’m a wuss. Honestly. Which guy writes in a diary?” he asked sadly, then he patted the little black book, “For that’s what you are, a diary.”

“Whatcha gonna do with it?” Sirius asked as if envisioning the possibilities of the things he could do with that little black book in his hands.

James grinned, “Not give it to you, don’t worry. Anyway, I think I’m gonna give this diary to my son when he turns nine. Mine and Lily’s son. You know, the one with red hair and brown eyes. Yes,” he said resolutely, “that’s what I’m going to do.”

As a mark of how far they’d come, Lily smiled warmly and said, I think that’s an awesome idea.”

And then, neither of them paid any attention to Sirius’ retching noises.


’January 4th 1998, Boys Dormitory’

Dear journal- in- which- I- have- been- writing- in- for- almost- nine- years,

I never thought I’d thank dad for giving me this diary. You see journal, I have a bit of a dilemma. Evil has a name and it’s Ginny Weasley. The only problem is that as of late I find myself rather attracted to evil. And I’m not too depressed… it’s not my fault! She’s attractive, I mean long red hair, chocolate brown eyes. Too bad I never noticed it before. I just had to set her hair on fire back in my second year didn’t I? Oh sodding hell. I’m sounding like dad, you were there when he said all that stuff bout emerald pools. I’m freaking depressed now, and I’m in love with my enemy. I think I’m gonna go drown myself in the showers now.


Harry ‘the- boy- who- lived’ Potter

P.S: You think you can tell me why she hates me? I mean black hair, green eyes, famous. I have it all. She’s crazy, yes, that’s it. I think I’ll ask her why she hates me. But then again she could punch me. I saw her doing in Draco the other day. I can tell you, those brothers taught her something. Oops. The shower calls. Bye.’