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My life as I know it? by 100 _percent_ witch

Format: Short story
Chapters: 23
Word Count: 42,823
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language

Genres: Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, James, Lily, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC

First Published: 01/29/2006
Last Chapter: 07/24/2006
Last Updated: 07/24/2006

Summary:
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*****SPECTACULAR BANNER BY RAH**** I never believed in love. How can you be only 15-16 years old and believe in love? You can't because love is an illusion, getting you entangled in something you want and something you hate. I hate love and I am pretty sure it doesn't exist and nobody, especially Sirius Black is going to change my mind.


Chapter 1: Reunions
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I don't own harry potter although if I did it would be very very jolly good. I'd be rich which I'm not. I'd be famous, which I am not. Need I say more?
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“I prefer reading about people’s soppy love lives then actually living them.” I told Lily for the hundredth time. “Besides it’s not like you actually have one, that is if you count Potter.” I had hit a sensitive spot therefore the only thing I could do was smirk at her scowl.
“I swear to God my little Daniela,” she said mockingly, “If you mention that Potter boy”, here she spits the name Potter with venom thus making me cringe, “ I will make sure it will be your last word you shall utter on the face of the earth.”
I rolled my eyes thinking about all the times she said those exact same words to me when the name James Potter comes up into our conversations, which is most of the time because I think Lily has a bit of a crush on that boy which she obviously disguises as hate. Instead of coming up with a witty insulting comment I hug her and tell her how much I’ve missed her because it’s the truth and she my best friend after all. All thoughts of Potter are vanished from her head and she laughs and hugs me back with vigor. I feel happy and elated; I’m back at Hogwarts, my home..err.. that is my second home. Argh leave it to me to ruin an incredibly special moment.

Speaking of ruiners of special moments here come the Rotten Foursome i.e. the Marauders. All four of them were walking in a straight line tallest to shortest, Black, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, the irony of it all I thought. Heads spin in their direction because apparently they are Gods. I turn away disgusted, not wanting to be a part of the admirers. Potter annoyed me with his good looks and pompous attitude toward all living things that were beneath him which would be everybody except for his groups of friends and of course Lily. Lupin, Remus wasn’t all that bad he was pretty decent and actually quite nice but he didn’t try to stop his friends so I assume he’s just as bad as them. Pettigrew creeps me out if I must be honest, those beady eyes are always hiding something. I shudder. Then there is Black, the pigheaded good for nothing ugly disgusting most annoying arrogant git ever to walk on two feet. He beds girls every night then dumps them like that and you know what baffles me the most? It is the fact that the girls he dumps come running back to him.

They are coming toward us, James with his usually cocky grin on his face.

“Do you think we should make a run for it?” I ask Lily seriously.

“What would be the point? I think a good slap in the face shall be good enough don’t you think?” She turns to me and grins, we are wild, we are.

“What a great way to start the year,” I grin maliciously. Sometimes I wonder why I was put in Gryffindor, honestly.

They slink up to us. James opens his mouth to speak. I cut him off.

“Just don’t say anything Potter, it really will do you good.” I say.

He looks at me quizzically. Then looks at Lily. Shakes his head, ruffles his hair and then grins and woe upon woes speaks.

“Hello Evans, Favriaani. How are you two lovely ladies doing on this particular fine morning?”

“Beautiful, that is until you came” I remark sweetly looking at them through my lashes and batting them profusely. Lily laughs, they look at me as if I were insane and I often think I am.

“Potter will you please leave me the hell alone?” Lily says through gritted teeth after a period of silence involving Potter looking at Lily adoringly and Sirius looking at the pretty blonde passing by, Remus staring at Lily and I and Peter eating cheese.

“Not until you say that you love me, Evans. Because I know you do. I do. I do.” His voice gets higher and higher making people stare and making my head ache. Lily’s thinking on the same lines then… SMACK.

His face turns red from embarrassment or the slap I can’t tell but through it all he’s still grinning happily. Boys are complete morons. Sirius starts laughing so hard that he doubles over and giggles on the ground. I look down at Sirius and think, I’ve never heard or saw a guy giggle before. Remus shakes his head silently and meets my eye. I smile; after all he is quite nice and smart. Peter still continues to eat probably used to all this commotion.

Lily has a look of horror on her face but then who wouldn’t she just slapped Potter and all the git can do is laugh. I drag Lily away and call out to the gits, “ Goodbye boys”. I find it is a great way to end this nasty scene that we have caused. I’m so busy pulling Lily along that I bump into someone then that someone embraces me into a hug. I try struggling but I realize its Charlie and scream rather girlishly and Lily joins me. The group is reunited me with my black hair, black eyes, tan skin Asian little me, Charlie with her chestnut colored hair and gold eyes easily the prettiest out of all of us although Lily is just as beautiful flaming red hair and starling green eyes that are just so greenish. They are my best friends and ye Gods I’ve missed them so.

Charlie takes in my disheveled appearance and Lily’s irritated face and says, “ James wasn’t it?
“Potter” I say
“Dim witted gorilla” Lily says.
We look at each other and laugh hysterically. I am totally loving the first day back, really.

We grab our trunks still chatting merrily while looking for an empty compartment. We stop chatting merrily when the only compartment not full is the one with the Marauders. It sounds totally predictable and so unlucky.

One question crawls into my mind.

Why? Why? Why?

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If you are reading this you've probably taken the time to read my story and for that I thank you and if you could tell me how I did, such as, was it too boring? Too fast? was it even good at all? it would be greatly apreciated.

Chapter 2: The ups and downs of being odd
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Disclaimer:I hate disclaimers they remind me of the sad horrible truth, the truth that I do not own Harry Potter.
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James was jumping up and down upon our arrival, obviously thrilled that his wonderful Evans decided to sit in his compartment.

“There is a God,” James cries in a particularly annoying singsong voice.

I, for some miraculous reason find this actually amusing. So naturally when I find something amusing I laugh and that is what I did. There was total silence after my chuckle. I turned and looked at them.

“What? Never saw me laugh before?” I ask turning around staring at them.

“Actually I’ve seen you laugh before like a million times but never ever ever at anything James said” Sirius pipes up, his black hair falling rather fashionably over his hazy ocean blue eyes which would have made the whole female body swoon and faint. I being NOT like every other female in Hogwarts find this slightly sexy, only slightly because I didn’t drop and faint like every girl at school would. I roll my eyes.

“Actually I’ve never really found anything James said funny.” I say put out. “Except for now” I add. I also add a glare clearly stating that Sirius- Black- is- a- moron-and-needs-to-get-away-from-me.
He gives me an I-don’t-care-I-hate-you-either-way look. I feel very compelled to stick up certain finger up at his face but that totally wouldn’t be me. Note the sarcasm. I turn around fuming and sit next to Remus. I fold my arms over my chest and look around the room all surly and whatnot.

Charlie being the total shy one blushes as she feels all male eyes upon her, well… that is except James’s but he hardly counts. Charlie is not hot but beautiful. There is a difference. I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t the least bit jealous of her. Charlie took a seat beside James to the total relief of Lily. A look of disappointment spread over Sirius’s face but it was gone as fast as it came. This livened up my mood greatly. Finally, a female was able to resist the ultimate player that is Sirius Black. My grin widened when I saw James leaning over Charlie to talk to Lily. Lily wasn’t having any of it as she was holding out the palm of her hand in front of James’s face. He didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Like I said before guys are complete morons. Charlie looked bemused and annoyed as James’s kept leaning over to try to flirt with Lily.

“Isn’t she absolutely gorgeous when she’s irritated?” James said looking at Lily lovingly. I gagged.

“Yes,” breathes Sirius. I do a double take making my hair hit Remus in the face.

“Hey,” Remus muffles under the blanket of hair. I grin.

“Oops, sorry bout’ that Remus. The joys of having long hair.” I reply but I’m looking intensely at Black I find a few things interesting.

1. He’s not talking about Lily, which is a relief because it will totally ruin Lily’s future because I predict that Lily and James are going to have a baby named Harry. Its Lily’s favorite name don’t ask me why I’m as baffled as you.

2. He is looking at Charlie rather longingly. Oh my God! Charlie is his flavor of the month. No scratch that the flavor of the week or worse the day or night, Eerlack bad picture bad picture, or hour, or minute, or second!!! Ahhhh must warn her. Must warn her of the well-known Black charms.

I am such a drama queen aren’t I? I turn away utterly shocked perhaps even disgusted. I try to rid myself of the dirty thoughts forming in my head involving Sirius and Charlie by talking to Remus whom I have never spoken to in my entire life aside from the comment about the hair. Great first impression I say.

“So Remus how was your summer?” I ask, “Surf and sun or dreary rainy England?” I am serious I am very odd. This is how a normal person might start a conversation.

“Hey, my name’s Daniela but my friends call me Danny you might know me as Lily’s friend and I’m pretty sure you know my last name seeing as how James always says it. Yours is Remus right?”

Never mind I can’t make up a normal conversation to save my life.

He smiles and his kind gray eyes crinkle up in the edges. I find it quite charming.

“More dreary than sunny” He says.

Now I am lost. Why did he have to smile? My tongue isn’t moving and my brain is on pause mode. Grrr.. God damn it unable to think under pressure or either that or the stare of a really cute boy staring at me expectantly, the second one must be it.

“God damn it” I mumble to myself saying my thoughts out loud.

“Sorry, didn’t catch that.” He leaned closer as if he could lean any more closely the words that I had just uttered would be heard.

“Err… I said that’s great, terrific. Yeah that’s what I said.” I say staring nervously at my converses. Suddenly the dirty spots on them seemed quite interesting.

I’m realizing that I must look like all the other girls when they are in proximity of one of the Marauders I’m feeling quite stupid right now. I am above the influence. This thought gives me the courage to speak.

“Actually, Remus. I was lying about what I said.” I look up, the usual grin on my face.

A look of confusion passes over his face.

“What did you say?” he asks bewildered.

“Oh you know the part where I said that’s terrific and such.”

I’m feeling remarkably idiotic right now but who cares?

“Oh yeah….” He tilts his head to the side and focuses his full attention on me.

“ I was lying and what I really said was God damn it because I have this..Err…I can’t speak under pressure and I really wanted to say something witty but I totally blanked out.” I say bluntly.

He bursts out laughing. I think this is a good thing I mean at least he didn’t look at me funny and run screaming out the door, right?

“You are a odd one Daniela. Daniela wasn’t it?” He is positively smiling right now.

“I pride myself on my oddness, it makes me stand out.” I say and add as an after thought, “Call me Danny everybody does”

And that is how I became friends with Remus Lupin, my first official crush and my first official love? Who knows what the sixth year will bring. Love, lust, chaos, adventure? Time will tell. Oh, how I loathe that saying.

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REVIEW please!






Chapter 3: Chaos
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Third chapter, basically! By the way I do not own Harry Potter so there. * Runs away crying*
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It turns our chaos came first out of love and adventure, chaos just had to come first. Typical.

I was fuming. Mad. Humiliated. I thought I loathed Sirius Black then but NOW….words cannot express the anger and pure hate I feel toward that insufferable imbecile. So now I am telling Lily exactly what happened. That smirk on her face isn’t really helping much. Maybe I should jinx her, pretend she’s Sirius and all.
No, I’d be stooping down to the same low level as Sirius Black. Who does that prat think he is? Jinxing people at random.

I was minding my own business just dragging my extremely heavy trunk thinking I should’ve not brought my collection of books totally forgetting the fact that I am a witch. This is what happens when your stuck in a muggle home for months without the use of your wand. I’m heaving my trunk off the train and it swings and hits Sirius’s legs he topples over and hits his nose on the edge of my trunk. Smooth I know. At first I am totally sympathetic, being really sorry, seeing all the blood and to be honest I was quite creeped out by it. So I am up there asking Sirius if he was all right, okay pretty stupid thing to do really but I sort of panicked. And you know what that fool does? He jinxes me and calls me a cow, yes a cow, for ruining and I quote, “ His incredible looks,” after that I sort of stared at him for awhile trying to get my wand out of my pocket but unfortunately that isn’t possible as he had me HANGING UPSIDE DOWN in thin air while my wand lands on the ground with a loud plop. My robes were all over the place, I was busy yelling at Black for his utter selfishness while trying to pull my robe down from people seeing my knickers which by the way had the golden snitch on it. BLOODY EMBARRASING. James was chuckling silently, Charlie looked appalled, Lily looked angry, Remus’s face was all red from contained laughter and Peter eating his cheese quietly.

I finish telling Lily and Charlie my full account of the situation both have identical smirks plastered on their faces.

“It’s not funny!” I exclaim indignantly.

They burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny!” I repeat more vigilant this time taking my pillow and hitting them with it.

“At least I had the pleasure of seeing Black’s face smothered in blood,” I say trying to ignore their rather loud laughter.

“Actually Sirius isn’t that bad, he’s quite good-looking and he’s funny.” Charlie says containing her laughter.

“What?” I say incredulously.

“What?” Lily says dubiously.

“Please God, Charlie, don’t fall for Black. Did you not see what he did to me?” I ask.

“It was funny though,” she states.

“FUNNY? You think the idea of your best friend hanging upside down, knickers showing and all is FUNNY?”

“Well yeah,” she says slowly a smile tugging at her lips.

“Just promise me Charlie, as your best friend, please do not fall prey to Black’s charms and handsome features.” I say seriously

“He’ll slink his way up your heart, grab it, sleep with you then he’ll stomp all over your heart.” Lily adds knowingly.

“Like a snake, sneakily and then he’ll lure you in and pounce,” I say, “Beware of Black.”

She rolls her eyes. “ You guys, I am not going to fall “prey” to Sirius’s charms so just relax nothing is going to happen between Sirius and I.” She says. “ Besides he likes blonde beauties and I am neither blonde nor a beauty.”

She just had to be beautiful as well as modest doesn’t she? Make us ugly, plain looking people feel bad.

“Shut up Charlie, you have absolutely no idea what your saying.” I say. “ You think you’re not beautiful? Look in a mirror darling all I see is beauty. So just please shut up.”

She shrugged modestly.

“Danny, if I were to give you a make---”

“No,” I interrupt, petrified. “ You know how I loathe makeup and straitening my hair, it’s absolutely horrendous, and honestly I have no idea how you and Lily deal with it every single day of your life.” I emphasize the life part, indicating that they waste one hour of their life each day.

“Puh-lease,” Lily says pouting.

I have long mastered the art of ignoring the puppy eyed look, so instead I say loudly.

“NO, I will not waste an hour of my life every single day so I can look more ugly than I already am.” I shudder at the thought. “ Just… don’t, I don’t want to look like a clown.”

“You’re not ugly Danny, STOP,” They both cry in unison pouncing on me with their pillows.

I let out a shriek hence begins the first pillow fight of the school year. I want to wave my hands in the air and scream happily but something stops me and I can’t shake it off, I hate myself for saying this but I’m starting to believe that I’ll never be beautiful like Charlie or Lily. Suddenly the year doesn’t seem so promising. What is wrong with me?

---*****---

“I don’t want to face them.” I mumbled into my sheets, remembering the incident involving Black and my knickers.

“Get up, get up” I heard a faraway voice sounding very much like my mother, kind of creepy.

“ Five more minutes,” I groaned relishing in my warm bed.

“No,” Lily yelled in my ear. I bolted out of my bed startled. I am going to kill her. My ear drums ring and I rubbed them wearily.

“Fine, where are my robes?” I yawned and sighed plopping back into my bed. Before I could savor my victory Charlie pulled me up and grabbed my arm and pinched it.

“Oww!” I cry indignantly rubbing my arm.

She pinches me again. I think she is enjoying my misery right now.

“Oww! What is up with you and pinching me lately?” I ask looking at her haughtily.

She grins and I am loathing her.

“Just so you don’t get anymore ideas.” She says. “ Now get up and change and please comb our hair it’s a forest.”

“Where is my brush then?” I ask feeling like a Queen asking my subjects i.e. Lily and Charlie to do my every bidding.

“Get up and find it on your own,” Lily says absently putting a brush with a little handle on her eye, some gross gooey black stuff is hanging from it. So much for feeling like a Queen I think quietly as I get up and as Charlie says I brush my hair, not quietly I can tell you that.

I trudge down the girl’s dormitory steps humming and doing incredible air guitar movements well at least I thought so apparently the “alarm clocks” don’t think so.

“What? I miss my electric guitar!” I say responding to their dubious looks. “ Too bad muggle things don’t work here but that’s why I brought my acoustic.”

“ Wait… weren’t you the one who wouldn’t wake up?” Lily asked. “Now we can’t get you to sit still and what’s worse we have to listen to you play your guitar.” She flails her arms about in supposed misery.

“I can play,” I say stubbornly, crossing my arms.

“You guys, I’m hungry and if you keep on bickering over nothing I think I will die from hunger.” Charlie complains.

I shrug and continue walking to the great hall with my rocking guitar moves, head banging. Well, combing my hair was pointless, out of the corner of my eye I see Charlie flinch at my hair. I smile. Suddenly there is a group of giggly girls running towards the Great Hall.

“Well this can mean only one thing,” I sigh my light mood vanishing.

“The Marauders.” We all reply in unison.

Whoopee. Note the sarcasm.

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Yes! You've reached the end of Chapter trois, 3, whatever and it would be absolutely fab, new word of the day, to review!!






Chapter 4: Sweet Revenge
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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I do own Danny though!

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“Oi, Favriaani what colour knickers you wearing today? Do they by chance have the days of the week on them?” Sirius called out as soon as I walked in to the Great Hall. He said it quite loudly so the bloody school could hear. They laughed and snickered. Great way to start the year I say.

“Oi, Black how’s your nose coming along,” I said indicating to the cast on his nose, “ I hope isn’t ruining your relationship with Potter, if you know what I mean.” I cry out adding a wink for effect.

“Hey!” James calls out.

By the now the whole school is listening to our pleasant conversation or argument whatever pleases you. To my great pleasure there’s laughter and snickering after my comment and some terribly shocked expressions on the side of the female population. I find it quite entertaining. I look at Sirius directly in the eye clearly showing my triumph.

Sirius snarls and he reminds me of a hungry dog, eyeing its prey ready for the kill. As a side note I am considered the prey at this very moment. I raise my eyebrows and cross my arms over my chest, daring him though secretly scared of him pouncing on me like a dog. My God, he does look like an animal when he does that. I smirk at this.

From the corner of my eye I see Charlie giving me a warning glance.

“Padfoot, calm down,” said Remus in a dignified manner, putting his book down.

“Is something amiss over here?” Professor McGonagall was striding toward me, her green cloak billowing out behind her.

Lily is the first to respond, figures.

“No” she says instantly.

“I would expect so, Miss Evans, you are a head girl and you must act like head girl.” She says, her voice clearly showing her displeasure.

“Of course, Professor. I am terribly sorry.” Lily is humbled. I snort. Let me just say it was the absolute wrong thing to do.

“Is something the matter Miss Favriaani?” She’s eyeing me now.

“Nope,” I claim, batting my eyelashes profusely.

She rolls her eyes. She rolled her eyes at me. I must really be a burden.

“ I swear, Favriaani sometimes you remind me of Black.” She states to me, her nose up in the air.

I am shocked. Shocked as in my life is over shocked.

“Define, sometimes,” I say.

But she is already gone, walking away. I glance contemptuously at Black who still manages to smirk at me. Jackass. How on earth could I remind my professor of Black? The world is a completely messed up.

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SNIP
SNIP
SNIP
SNIP

The sound of scissors snapping together in the middle of the night seems so loud. I cringe every time I hear the familiar snip of the scissors praying that no could hear. But eventually I realized guys are deep sleepers. So my revenge was a piece of cake. I fought down a snicker.

Muhahaha, what a surprise that little prat will find when he wakes up. His beloved black locks will be nothing more than a fond memory. He’ll pine for his hair, those long soft bouts of hair gone. His prized possession, zip. I will laugh in his face. I continue cutting his hair so it’s so short that it hardly reaches his ears. I look down at his face and for the first time ever, gasp, there lies no smirk. His face is, I hate to admit it, handsome. I look at his strong features, his high cheekbones, strong jaw and what captures me the most is his eyelashes which are as long as the top half of my thumb. They contrasted so sharply against his smooth, white skin. I snort softly. They were not to be smooth anymore. I performed a simple zit hex on his face and I watched amused as it started sprouting in herds on his face. With the combination of the broken nose, the newly acquired pimples and his hideous hair he’s not such a pretty boy after all. Too bad it’s not permanent. The nose would heal, the hex would soon go away, give or take a week or two, and the hair would grow back. I added an anti- growing charm just in case it was one of those weird hairs that could grow back ten times faster. Let’s see the girls fall for Sirius now. I snicker again. But as I gaze down on his face my eyes roam to his eyelashes. Yes, I know eyelashes, again, but they are so long and rest to peacefully on his cheek that I can’t help but wonder what are they concealing? What is he dreaming of?

“Charlie,” Sirius mumbles and rolls over on his pillow but not before I catch a glimpse of a dreamy smile on his face.

I scoff, not only because of what I heard but also at myself. I was repulsed at the thought that I was just thinking about Sirius’s eyelashes AGAIN. Sirius is a prick a prick I tell you. Suddenly there is a loud snore that grabs my attention. I whirl around scissors in hand, it’s only Peter, and I give a sigh of relief. A large amount of saliva is pouring out of Peter’s mouth its quite a disgusting sight, really. I shudder. My eyes wanting a better view that is not Peter Pettigrew. The boys dormitory is lined with clothes on the ground and God knows what. I take in the scent of boys, socks and cologne. Quidditch posters line the walls, smiling and looking quizzically at me and I wave enthusiastically at them. They just look at me as if I were insane. I am.

Remus is having fitful dreams. His thrashing and moaning grabs my attention. His sandy hair is sticking to his forehead, he’s sweating. I rush toward him without a moment’s hesitation. I kneel on the floor, my other hand resting on his sheets. I cautiously stroke his cheek, wanting him to calm down. With a new sense of boldness I smooth out the frown etched on his face. He relaxes and I am feeling quite happy. But as soon as he relaxes his body thrashes about, I leap out of the way.

“Get away.” He mumbles into his sleep. “Get away, wolf,” he says more loudly. I am puzzled, wolf?

“Moony?” It’s James, his voice groggy.

I duck, my black hair flying into Remus’s face, he twitches at it.

“Huh?” Remus sits up startled. He remembers the feel of my hair.

I crawl on the floor quietly thanking God that he invented darkness, night. I crawl hastily to the door, which I have left wide open, thankfully. I creep down the steps scissors in hand. Once I’ve reached the bottom of the stairs I listen to the noise above.

“Bloody Hell, Sirius what bloody happened to your face?” I hear James cry out, startled.

I laugh silently. There’s murmuring and cries of indignation from boys who’ve been woken up and then….

“AHHHHHHH!” It’s Sirius.

Revenge is a sweet, sweet thing.

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Hey! I actually like this chapter a lot do you? Your reviews bring me great joy, really so please review! Thanks.


Chapter 5: Anger management much?
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Disclaimer: This is fan fiction get over it and please don't remind me of the truth. The truth hurts, alot.
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“No” They both exclaimed. Their eyes wide, mouths hanging open.

“Yes!” I replied gleefully.

“No!” They said again.

“Yes!” I almost squealed which gave me some raised eyebrows. I shrugged and waved at them smiling happily, some of them waved back some just continued eating breakfast, I know, rude much.

I turned back toward Lily and Charlie, they were laughing hysterically.

“I cannot believe you did that!” Lily said through burst of giggles.

“I did it though.” I shrugged nonchalantly. “C’etait très simple.”

They squealed and I laughed with them while unbeknownst to us, the whole Great Hall became silent. Our laughs died down as we slowly realized we were the only ones laughing or even talking for that matter. All heads swiveled toward the entrance. In came the Marauders with Sirius at the back looking miserable and terribly disgruntled. His head was bent and since he didn’t have that long black hair to cover his face his newly acquired pimples showed clearly.

There were gasps everywhere most of which I recognized as girls. I rolled my eyes. The boys on the other hand were snickering.

“Oi, Sirius what happened to your face?” Some extremely brave first year cried out, snickering.

Sirius growled and started toward the boy. Remus held him back and murmured words of God knows what, but it worked and he went to sit at the Gryffindor table followed by his friends who were glaring at anyone who would dare tease Sirius again.

Remus eyes found mine and I knew he knew. Oh, shit. I thought to myself. I quickly ducked my head down interested in my oatmeal.

As soon as the Marauders sat down hurried whispering started.

“Oh God, What happened to his hair?”

“No, worse his face!”

“Ughh”

“Who did it?”

“Massive break out”

I looked at Sirius and burst out laughing suddenly.

He looked up and stared at me with those pools of blue.

“It was you!” He whispered dangerously, realization dawning on him.

I merely smirked.

And before I knew it he lunged himself at me with the full force of boyish power causing all the food to topple over and spill everywhere. Screams of surprise followed that, I was with them.

He tackled me onto the ground.

“Kick his balls Danny!” Someone yelled.

I did. But he landed one punch on my face. Tears stung and anger rose up within me. I grabbed the edge of his collar throwing punches everywhere I could find. He started pulling my hair while kicking me.

“How dare you!” I shrieked which I thought was kind of hypocritical on my part seeing as how he had every right, but logic really wasn’t in my mind right now.

People were around us, chanting or screaming. My heart was beating faster. My head and legs hurt tremendously. We got up slowly circling each other. The side of my face was throbbing painfully and I could hardly see through my left eye. He came charging at me, yelling bloody murder and before I knew it he landed one fist straight in my stomach. I cringed and held my stomach before falling into darkness.

-----**************------

“I am going to kill him with my bear hands.” I heard someone whisper above me.

I moaned and turned over toward my pillow. Wait…. this wasn’t my pillow… I bolted up immediately regretting it. My back ached and my mouth felt like parchment. I groaned.

A hustle of people rushed to me. Lily and Charlie among them and a couple of people I was friends with.

“Oh my God, Danny are you alright?” Sebastian asked, he was a fellow sixth year, and so obviously gay but everybody loved him because he was so hilarious and witty. He was totally awesome.

“Hey, Crab.” I murmured weakly. Crab being my nickname for him, it involved crabs in our first year; let’s just stick to that.

He enveloped me in a hug.

“My God I thought that bastard had killed you.” He chuckled nervously.

“You know better than that, I can take any guy anytime but…”

“Not this time.” Lily finished bluntly.

“But it’s entertaining, seeing Black like that, his cut and major acne.” He said smiling. “ Pure genius.” Sebastian said eyeing me amusedly.

“I try.” I say mocking toughness.

They all laughed.

“Danny’s back,” Charlie giggled smugly.

“That she is” replied a voice behind us.

All heads turned to the voice. I tried looking over Sebastian’s head but he was too tall and his blonde hair blocking was my view. I hate being short.

“Sebastian move, I can’t see…” I demanded but trailed off.

My jaws dropped. Sirius Black was standing right in front of me. His face and hair was still the same, pimples and all also there were several bruises on his face and he still had that cast on his nose. I saw Sebastian cringe. I knocked my shoulder into his stomach.

“He was hot before, but now…” He whispered into my ear.

I grinned.

“Hey Black! Did you enjoy your victory over a girl?” I asked innocently although wishing he would just go away.

“Actually yes I did enjoy it very much, seeing your face all bloody and swollen….” Sirius sneered.

“Somehow I really don’t think your here to remind me of what I looked like Black,” I said, glaring totally abandoning my fake happiness. “ Get to the point and then leave.”

“Well…” he said painfully slowly.

“Black,” I snarled.

“McGonagall basically took 50 points each from the both of us and we have detention with Filch,” He said.

“Fifty points each?” I said outraged. “ But we don’t even have points yet.”

“We are in the negatives.” He said, making me feel incredibly stupid.

“But you were the one that lunged at me!”

He crossed his arms. Looking at me with spite.

“I wouldn’t have lunged at you if you hadn’t provoked me or ruined My BLOODY face and hair.” He shouted, startling the people around me.

“Sirius, you don’t look that bad!” Charlie squeaked, shyly. Her eyes grew wide as she realized what she had just said. I gaped at her thinking over and over again, traitor. Sirius looked at her with a look of pure calm as if he got this everyday, which he probably did.

“I know,” he said simply, grinning.

Arrogant prick.

Charlie blushed. God, she looks gorgeous in whatever she does. Envy. I cleared my throat annoyed for some reason that escaped me.

“Please, you ugly idiot spare us,” I say while glancing at Charlie, “the torture of looking at your face.”

“Your pretty damn ugly yourself Favriaani, so don’t even talk you….” Sirius said but was cut off by Seb.

“You want to finish that, Black?” Crab was tall and lean. He looked at Black daring him.

Sirius gulped.

“Leave me be,” I said somehow controlling the overwhelming urge to throw something at him.

“Make me.” Sneered Sirius.

“Oh, really mature Sirius, the ladies will just come crawling at your feet at your awesome manliness.” I said sarcastically.

“Shut up! Besides girls will eventually come falling at my feet again, because guess what Favriaani?” He said contemptuously. “ Unlike you, I have good looks no matter what you do to my face or hair.”

I screamed and grabbed the glass of water next to my bedside table and threw it with all my strength at the boy standing in front of me. Water splattered everywhere and it proved my aim was still pretty pathetic as it shattered on the opposite wall with a loud crash. Sirius ducked it easily showing his Quidditch training. I grabbed the vase of flowers and threw again, I surprise, surprise missed.

Sirius ran out of the hospital cursing at me, his arms over his head.

I lay back on my bed and sighed hearing the sound of Madame Werlands’s gasp.


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I need more reviews, they are my next favorite thing next to chocolate and Sirius which by the way says a lot!



Chapter 6: George
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“YOUR PERFECT?” I yelled loudly at Black.

“HELL YA!” Sirius yelled back clearly angry.

“TRY WALKING ON WATER THEN!” I shouted as I headed to the girls dormitory. “OR TRY SLAMMING A REVOLVING DOOR.” I added as an after thought.

“YOU THINK YOU’RE REALLY WITTY DON’T YOU?” He yelled after me.

I reached my dormitory door. I walked in and peeked my head out. Seeing his glowering face I yelled, “I DO!” and slammed the door, hard.

Girls looked at me oddly I ignored them and went to my bed and nearly broke the curtains as I pulled them around my bed. I fell on my pillow headfirst and screamed into it. How I loathed that idiot, how he let out an angry side of me was a mystery. But I did know that I hated him. Hated the ground he walked on, hated the way he flipped his hair, which sadly to say was growing back after what, two weeks? Hated how he made me angry so easily. Hated the way he picked his food. Hated the way that I hated him. I just…HATE HIM!

I grabbed my guitar and began to strum at it, harshly.

I hate Sirius Black
He is a bloody moron
I wish he would drop dead
I hate Sirius Black

I shouted at the top of my lungs while strumming on my guitar.

“Argh, Danny, be quiet.” Said a voice from outside my curtains.

I strummed and shouted louder than before. The whole room groaned.

“FINE, I WILL BE QUIET!” I yelled out responding to their groans. “I WILL BE QUIET IN MY QUIET BED WITH MY QUIET GUITAR AND YOU KNOW WHAT I’LL BE DOING?” I asked. No reply. “I’LL BE BEING QUIET!”

I think I am having my time of the month. I slumped on my bed, my arms folded, scowling. I got out my ‘diary’ that Lily had kindly given me saying and I quote, “ Your anger needs to be unleashed using the art of writing.” Typical Lily. I got out a quill and dipped it into my store of shockingly neon green ink.

Dear George,

I have bestowed the name George onto you, seeing how diary is such a commonly used name. You are mine and I shall call you George. You can be either a male or female but seeing as how males are incomprehensible prats, you shall be a female. So dear newly acquainted George, I will tell you of my day and my feelings toward a certain individual.

I jabbed at the notebook, writing Sirius’s name on the paper and proceeded to stab and scribble at it. Also if you look closely you will see my drawing of a stick man with a large nose being consumed by a fire. The stick man being Sirius, I being the other stick woman laughing with a torch in my hand.

As you see dear, George I really, really loathe Sirius Black and I am extremely sorry that I ruined your brand new pages but as Lily said I got to let out some of my anger.

On a happier and giddier note, Remus thinks that the prank I pulled on Sirius is extremely funny. He doesn’t blame me as I expected him to but instead thinks I had every right. He was looking a bit peaky I wonder if he’s ill? I also wonder also if I have a likely chance with him. Probably not which is kind of depressing. But other than that I am having a blast in Hogwarts, this being my second to last year. Charlie is disapproving in my behavior toward SB because she actually likes him. It irks me. I mean really, SB is going to break her naïve heart. I must, with every fiber in my being try and stop this abominable very-likely relationship that would most definitely end in tears. By the by, George I am what you call a drama Queen. I am rather liking this “letting my anger go” I think George, this is the beginning of a wonderful relationship.
I would have written the date but I’ve forgotten. But it is in the afternoon.

Ciao, George till my next outburst of anger.


I look down at George, the neon green ink standing out quite sharply on her. I smile and I am actually at ease.

“Aha!” Lily says pulling the curtains away, catching me looking lovingly at George. “You actually followed my advice.” She is looking amazed.

“Actually yes, I have actually followed your advice and I am quite liking George.” I say glaring at her.

“Who’s George?” She asks bewildered, looking around the room probably expecting a guy to pop out of nowhere naked.

I roll my eyes. “George is my diary,” I say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. I know she hates it when I do that.

“Oh, how glaringly obvious I mean everybody names their diary.” She rolls her eyes mimicking me.

“Stop copying me!” I exclaim childishly.

“I wasn’t copying you!” Lily exclaims right back.
“You were!” I cry shrilly.

“I was not!”

“Were to”

“Was not”

“Were to”

“Was not”

“Were to”

“Argh, Danny you are a pest.”

I beamed.

“That’s why you love me!” I say still beaming.

She snorted. I gaped at her. She looked at my face and added quickly.

“I mean I love you a lot.”

We stared at each other and ended up in a fit of laughter.

“I really do love you though Danny!” she said quite seriously after we had managed to get our breath back.

“Are you a lesbian?” I ask her. “I mean that kind of explains you hating Potter and all.”

She punched me in the shoulder playfully. I grinned. Having best friends really is a joy.

“ My God, what time is it?” Lily asks she looks down at her watch. “Oh, crap!”

“What?” I ask trying to figure out what class we were late for, History of Magic. Can’t say I’m too worried really. That ghost drones on and on.

“We have four minutes to get all the way to History of Magic.” She says frantically scourging around the room for her book bag.

“Do we have to?” I whine. I am really immature.

“Yes!” she says with force as she grabs my arm and starts pulling me out the door into the common room into the hallway down the steps into complete boredom. I sighed.
“Oh stop it, Danny,” she says looking at me. “You want to be an auror you got to have good grades.”

“Easy for you to say,” I retorted. She’s top in all her classes for Pete’s sake. How am I supposed to compare to that?

I don’t, that’s how. I started running toward class but I didn’t get that far, Lily did but I didn’t. I crashed into somebody tall. Well, mostly everybody is taller than me but this figure was tall. I flailed around, my legs flying from underneath me. I cursed but a pair of strong arms caught me. I looked up into the eyes of Sirius?





Chapter 7: Falling Dooooown
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Onward to the chapter. Sorry I messed up this is the 7th chapter. I totally forgot about it. Sorry!
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“Black,” I breathed, looking up at his hazy eyes. That insufferable piece of hair falling casually over his eyes, those eyelashes and I just got lost looking at him for about ten seconds. We stared, his pools of ocean blue with my midnight black eyes. Ten seconds, then realization struck. Not the Oh-I-have-fallen-madly-in-love-with-you realization but the one that goes Oh-shit-I-am-holding-my-arch-nemesis-must-think-of-insult-or-another-means-of-inflicting-pain. That’s probably why he dropped me right there and I landed with an awful crack, most likely my back I thought grimly.

“Watch, where your going Favriaani,” he spat vehemently, spit landing on my nose.

“Ughh,” I stated disgusted, I wiped it off with my hand. “ Say it, don’t spray it.” I know totally third grade but my back ached and I had just got spit on. I truly cannot be witty under pressure and when I am seething, as I am now.

“ Nice,” Black replied sarcastically and I think out of spite he then proceeded to spit on me.

I, being me totally got angry. Hello George. As I was lying splat on the cold, stone, lumpy ground it was perfectly simple for me to ‘accidentally’ let my leg sweep to his ankles and make him fall backward. Unfortunately it worked, but get this, he fell forward ON ME! Life is so cruel. He fell all dramatically and landed on me with a thump. I cringed. His face was pressed into my two towers not that I had much but he was still there nonetheless. I looked down in shocked silence. Then horror upon horrors Remus turns the corner seeing Sirius laying on top of me on my boobs. Quelle Horreur.

I assume my face turned beet red and I started to scream at Sirius for being an absolute pervert and swearing like no tomorrow. I scrambled to push him off me. Sirius jumped up his face turning exactly the colour of the drapes that lined the Gryffindor common room.

“This is not what it looks like,” I said breathless once I’d straightened up.

“Not what it looks like,” Sirius stated, nodding. “As if I’d press my gorgeous face into the likes of her.” As he says her he looks at me as if I were a disgusting bug that had managed to get squashed under his shoe. Well, you know what Sirius something Black I am not a bug, you are, and I will squish you like no tomorrow until your gorgeous bug face is so disfigured and squashed that no one, even your own mother will look at you again, I thought to myself. But apparently I had voiced these thoughts aloud and I was greeted by a stunned silence.

Remus blinked. Then laughed delightedly. I chuckled nervously, God I have to stop voicing my thoughts aloud.

“HA, HA, HA,” I laughed loudly trying with every fiber in my being to laugh. Which is pretty ironic seeing as how I laugh all the time.

My fake laughter brought Remus into a howl of even more laughter. Then after that the laughter came so easily to me, maybe it started with Sirius’s pathetic confused look, then Remus’s delighted one. I have no idea how long we just stood there, laughing and I was having trouble breathing.

“Danny,” Remus laughed, “You are amazing.” More bouts of laughter came from him.

I stopped laughing then and cocked my head to the side. “Really?”

He stopped laughing and surveyed me seriously.

“Yes,” He said and inside as corny and clichéd as it sounds my heart literally melted but of course I didn’t say that but then he said, “You make me laugh.” My heart disintegrated.

“Laugh?” I scoff, hoping this wasn’t happening.

“Well, yeah,” Remus said utterly bewildered obviously not getting my heart being completely shattered by the likes of him. Men, boys they are totally clueless. Laugh? I make him laugh? Laugh as in we are just friends and nothing more. That is what he basically said, so before the tears start streaming at my utter total ugly rejected self I will start going now. By now I mean run away now and that’s what I did. Except I didn’t actually run I more like made pretty petty excuses and started speed walking to class leaving two confused boys at my wake. Not bad for a day’s work I say but then when have I ever left two incredibly fit boys in my wake? None and I think that will be the last time so help me God.

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“Where were you?” Lily hissed menacingly as I flew into my seat.

Charlie looked over, concerned. At least she showed some sympathy.

“Having pleasant conversations with Remus and Black.” I replied nonchalantly.

Charlie looked appalled. The naivety of that girl, its amazing.

“But-bu…” Charlie whispered stuttering.

“I don’t like them.” I whispered dangerously finishing her sentence for her.

Lily was busy scribbling down notes; I rolled my eyes, so typical of her.

She passed it down to me. I looked at it and grimaced.

What did you do? Your face is all red.

I began scribbling away, telling my embarrassing moment to the whole you-make-me-laugh thing, telling her how terribly tragic I am. Charlie wanted to have a look at what we were doing. I passed it down to her. Charlie’s eyes grew big in that innocent way of hers and then she giggled when she reached the part of Sirius’s face being planted on my bosoms. She began to hurriedly scratch down something on the parchment.

Lucky!

I gaped like a fish.

You are a perve, Charlie

Lily looked quite annoyed by our constant passing of the notes. She snatched it from my hands, quite rudely and threw it half way cross the room. I expect she was aiming for the other side of the room but it hits Potter in the head instead. I want to scream bloody murder. I shoot Lily a look that could kill. She has the grace to blush and look flustered.

It’s like the whole world going in slow motion, Potter picking up the paper, Potter unfolding the paper, Potter smoothing out the paper, POTTER READING THE PAPER!

“NOOOOO…” I replied in my Darth Vader impersonation as I basically hopped from my chair into the seats below me trying to recklessly grab our sad, pathetic note. James jumped, the note falling from his hands. I seized it.

“Aha” I cried triumphantly, holding the note above me.

I heard Charlie and Lily groan. I smirked at them.

The whole class looked at me in complete horrid silence and even Professor Binn who’s usually totally oblivious to everything noticed my graceful fall. What is up with and falling today?

“What?” I asked them.

“Miss Favriaani will you please proceed back to your seat and come see me after class.” He said in his usual drawl.

But I was too relieved at getting my note back that I was totally happy and I proceeded to skip to my desk humming happily.

Lily and Charlie groaned again. They totally love me.

---*******----

After class I obediently went to Binn. He surveyed me with his ghostly self. I couldn’t help but shiver.

“You wanted to see me, Professor?” I asked batting my eyelashes.

He looked taken aback as if expecting me to yell at him.

“Err…. Miss Favriaani this meeting concerns your lack of interest in class and after your err…. incident I am placing you away from Miss Evans and Miss Everwood.”

I gaped. This was worse then detention.

“ I hope this will help you excel in your studies.” He said dismissively.

“But...but… You can’t do that!” I cried. “Whom am I sitting by then?”

“Misters Lupin and Black.”

I gaped. This was worse than hell.

“Lupin…B..Bl…Black?” I stuttered. “But what about Potter?” I said because James wasn’t going to be thrilled at all, being separated from his friends.

He examined me closely and I swear there was a hint of a smile plastered on his face.

“ He’ll be sitting next to Miss Evans.” He replied.

“You do realize you’ve just officially made your class a living hell? Black and I are sworn mortal enemies, James is in love with Lily and James being in love in something on other than Quidditch is BIG and basically Lily absolutely detests Potter.” I said hurriedly, glowering.

“A chance I am willing to take.” And with that he floated off leaving me, pondering how it’s been a horrible hideous day. Bugger.

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Review please! * smiles sweetly*

Chapter 8: Syphilis
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I don’t own Harry Potter the fabulous J.K Rowling does and it’d be rather pointless for J.K Rowling to write fan fiction. Really.

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Lips were on me, my lips, my neck, my everything. The boy’s black locks falling over familiar blue, sliver eyes. They swept me up. I got lost in them. Lost… Lost… and there was no going back. This boy was my path, my light, and my hope. Crashing lips met mine again and my breath was taken away. He caressed my cheek, holding me tightly against him, and then it started to rain, falling continually, never wavering.

“I lo..” The boy whispered but then he disappeared and I was soaking wet in my bed with a bunch of giggly girls to keep me company.

“Charlie,” I screamed outraged. She ruined my lovely dream with the strangely familiar boy.

Charlie just cackled madly she is as insane as I am when she has a tad to much sugar.

“What are you on?” I asked, getting up and drying my hair with a towel. “Wait, never mind don’t answer that, I don’t want to know.”

She paid no heed to me. She kept chattering on and on about a bloody ball.

“A ball?” I asked, “ As in a ball that you play with? The one that goes bounce?”

“No, silly a BALL,” She cried, “ The one where you dance.”

Oh yay, I thought to myself. Another means of attracting the opposite sex in which you dress in expensive gowns only to never wear them again.

“Brilliant,” I yelled sarcastically.

“I know,” Charlie said, not getting my sarcasm. “And guess who asked me just now?”

“Who?” I asked resigned, flipping through my clothes looking for my robe to put over my jeans.

“Sirius Black,” She yelled happily, giggling like mad.

I stopped and my robes that I had just found slipped out of my hand. I froze and turned slowly to look at her.

“My mortal enemy?” I asked her, incredulous. “ The one that basically almost killed me?”

She was too happy to argue.

“Yes, it’s so bloody brilliant I mean Sirius asking me? It’s like a dream come true…” And she continued on and on.

Charlie was going to end up breaking her heart all because of Sirius Black but not if I had anything to say about it.

----******------

I went over to Sirius and his friends, sliding up to them humming.

“Morning boys, “ I said in a singsong voice, twirling and gliding around them. I grabbed Peter and grabbed his hands and started doing a waltz with him, with me humming. Peter looked stunned and shocked. I laughed. I broke away and proceeded to glide over to Remus doing the same but this time my heart started pounding but I masked it with my laughing and my humming, and then I grabbed James. James was the most fun of all because he actually had fun and he made an attempt to twirl me about. I laughed gleefully.

“I’ll make sure to give a good word for you for Lily,” I winked. James looked absolutely pleased and hugged my jovially.

Then there was Black, but I grabbed him anyway still humming but I crushed his hands making him wince.

“Black,” I whispered dangerously into his ear. “Don’t you dare even think about breaking Charlie’s heart, or else.”

“I wouldn’t do such a thing,” he sniffed. I dug my nails into his skin. “ I won’t!” He yelped.

“Promise me,” I whispered treacherously, digging deeper and deeper into his skin.

“I promise,” He winced. Boys were not so tough as they seemed.

I let go, satisfied and started to resume my humming.

“Ta Ta for now, boys,” I call out over my shoulder, bouncing away. Bouncing that was all I ever did.

---****-----

I never told Charlie about me threatening Black. I figured she wouldn’t really appreciate it. But I did let in a good word for James.

“ He’s absolutely marvelous even though his best mate isn’t.” I cried.

She pouted. She was the only one who could pull off a look like that and still look stunning. I suddenly felt so inferior, so me.

“I cannot believe this,” She said exasperated, “ You and I were in this together! It was always me and you who despised Potter and Black and know you are telling me that Potter, the most conceited git to have ever walked the face of the earth is ‘absolutely marvelous’?” She raised up her hands in annoyance.

“Yes,” I responded. “Just give him try please?” I begged.

She looked at my expectant hopeful expression and sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” she said looking down, “But this is only for you!”

I punched the air with my fist. Yelling madly. I ran out of our dorm, yelling for James to come down. He looked absolutely startled but grinned when he realized it was me.

“Tis’ I your guardian angel,” I said in a dramatic voice flinging my arms in the air, accidentally hitting a first year who scrambled away, frightened.

“Sorry,” I yelled after the first year. She/ He whatever just walked faster. So much for being a Gryffindor, I thought. I turned to see James with his trademark smirk on his face.

“So why exactly are you my guardian angel?” He asked raising his eyebrow, intrigued. I decided to play a little game with this darling boy.

“It has something to do with Lily,” I said, tempting him. He was tempted.

“But I won’t tell you until you tell me Sirius’s middle name,” I said, smiling.

“Argh, the things I do for you my lovely flower,” He said clasping his hands looking above. I giggled.

“Padfoots going to kill me,” He sighed. “It’s Syphilis.”

I let out a burst of laughter.

“Syphilis as in the STD?” I laughed, holding my stomach. “Sexually transmitted disease.” I roared with laughter. “Oh-my-God…” I burst in laughter. James just sat there looking embarrassed although there was a tug of a smile on his face. After my bouts of laughter, which took a long time considering every time I looked at James, I was reminded of Sirius and his last name I tried to be serious but it didn't work. Excuse me while I laugh.

I breathed in and looked James in the eye.

“Lily, your darling flower, your bright ray of sunshine, the apple of your eye has agreed to go to the Ball with you, mate.” I said, smiling. “Congratulations, your 5 years of hard work has finally paid off.”

He blinked. Then the news seeped into his brain. Boys are so slow. He cartwheeled around the room. Then he ran to me hugging me like no tomorrow.

“Err… James I know I rock but your choking me,” I breathed.

“So, sorry, milady.” He said bowing. “ I am forever in your debt.”

I shoved him playfully.

“Save that for your date, Mr. Potter.” I said in an elegant manner. “You’ll need it and please don’t ruin it. I am routing for you, mate.”

With that I walked off, standing up straight tall, proud then Sirius walked in and I remembered, Syphilis and I was off again.

Bloody funny.

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Please review, I absolutely adore it when you do, it helps me improve as well so criticism is always welcomed.


Chapter 9: Me and my jeans and Etnie shoes
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Read and Review my darlings! And as a side note I don’t own Harry Potter, just a little side note.
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The vivid colors almost blinded me as I walked into the dormitory. Splashes of colors dazzled my senses and I almost collided with a stuttering third year. I surveyed the room. What the hell was going on? Then I realized that the dazzling colors were none other than dresses. There were dresses in shocking pink with sparkles, which were getting everywhere. There were sashes, ribbons and huge bows scattered on the ground with girls crawling on the floor, looking for lost earrings. I rolled my eyes.

“Accio earrings,” I cried lazily.

Pairs of earrings flew into my hand from under beds, carpets, and clothing. I smirked. They all clamored toward me frantic and snatching at my hands, my clothes.

“Whoa…” I said before toppling over at their weight. The beasts began grabbing at my hand, looking for their earrings.

“Joffofme,” I mumbled, swatting at them as if they were flies. They didn’t pay any heed to me.

“Get off of me!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, breathing heavily irritated that they trampled over me when I was just trying to help. I got up off the floor.

They were silent. They were all glaring at me.

“Stop acting like animals, it’s bloody annoying and the dreadful Ball doesn’t start until 8’oclock and need I remind you its only 5’oclock!” I said, confused. Who gets ready three hours early? Apparently they do because they all turned away and proceeded to panic and fret over their hair, makeup and the wrinkles on their gowns. I almost laughed at them, idiots I thought. But then I realized it was particularly unkind of me to call them idiots. I mean all they want to do is look good for the men that they so utterly adore, who if they play their cards right might get laid.



On second thought, they are all idiots.

----*******-----

“Do I look particularly marvelous?” Lily asked with a tone of complete confidence. That was one of the things I admired in her, her confidence. She radiated and she looked absolutely beautiful, almost breathtaking. I envied her knowing that I could never achieve neither her beauty nor her confidence. Lily wore a white gown, it was simple with straps with embroidered flowers and the soft silky material flowed beneath her, showing off her every curves. The boys were ogling at her, one even managed to whistle. I glared at that perverted freak who quickly averted his eyes. I smiled at Lily.


“You look stunning,” I said in awe. Her beautiful red hair cascaded down to her shoulders, in a wild yet elegant way, held up by a single flower.

“Potter is going to pee in his trousers, darling.” I said grinning.

She shrugged nonchalantly as though being asked to the homecoming Ball by the second most wanted guy in Hogwarts was nothing but a tough homework assignment waiting to be written on and in the right order. Yes, Lily was going to change Potter into a more humble type of person something every female girl dreamed about, something Lily was going to do. Good luck with that Miss Evans, I thought.

Lily looked at me inquiringly, noting my silence. I turned to her and smiled a real, true smile.

“ Are you sure you don’t want to come?” She asked as hugged me tight. “You’d knock the socks off them boys.” She said in a Texas accent or at least I thought it was, her accent is horrendous. I snorted.

“Nope! I am not going to these useless events.” I said turning around, suddenly in a foul mood. I mean it wasn’t my fault I was born ugly and plain. It wasn’t my fault I was always overshadowed by my two best friends. It wasn’t my fault that no one asked me. And it was most definitely not my fault that I suffered from bad genes. I sighed and looked around, catching a glimpse of Charlie with Sirius. Charlie looked gorgeous, as usual but she looked perfectly angelic at that moment. Her hair was up high in a bun, a few strands of hair fell into her eyes and she kept flipping her hair back to get it away from her eyes. She wore a lavender satin pleated gown that showed her figure to the fullest. She looked amazing and I felt out of place in my jeans and Etnies skater shoes, which were trudging mud from my previous skateboard riding experience. Sirius caught my eye and surveyed my less than delightful appearance, I glared at him. I see you, I thought savagely. And whoa did I see him. He was looking entirely ravishing and I had to keep from swooning unlike the shameless girls around him who ‘accidentally’ bumped into his arm, showing off their cleavage. One of them I noticed was Loretta Berlin, the infamous scandalous, rich French tart who had been one of Sirius’s previous girlfriends. The biggest slut who has ever walked the face of the earth, I say. Her dress was so tight you could tell she had some trouble moving. It was so short that you could see her knickers but she wasn’t wearing any, her plunging neckline showed off more than we wanted to see, really. But she was very pretty in that artificial way of hers, she was rumored to be part Veela. She started stroking Sirius’s arm and batting those long thick blonde lashes. Charlie seemed totally oblivious to it. I started toward Charlie, wanting to shake her for being so naïve, so damn naive. But Lily held me back. I just sighed and proceeded to go. My heart felt so…so… broken and I couldn’t figure out why. Lily called after me but I didn’t look back. I started running, faster and faster past couples and I was so lost in my own world that I didn’t see where I was going. I bumped into Remus. I looked up at him, he was so tall so very, very tall. He looked handsome but then of course he was Marauder. I looked at my feet and mumbled an apology. I started to go, not wanting to interfere with his date who looked positively livid at my sudden interruption.
“Sorry bout’ that Remus, have a nice time at the Ball,” I said quickly, then I made a move to go.

He grabbed my arm. I turned around, weary. What could he possibly want? Advice? I didn’t know anymore and I felt inferior. I was just a friend. I was just the “weird” one. I was just…I was just me.

“Yes?” I asked forcing myself to be polite.

He shook his head.

“What’s wrong Danny?” he asked. “And what do you mean ‘have a nice time at the Ball’?”

I looked down at his hand, which was firmly wrapped, around my upper arm. Noticing my gaze he quickly withdrew it. He was blushing but I was too distracted to notice.

“Nothing is wrong,” I whispered. “ I am not going to the Ball so…. Yea” I started to leave again. He grabbed my arm. This is getting quite tiring, I thought.

“Your not….” He struggled to find the right words to say. “ Your not… hyper.” He finished lamely.

My jaw dropped and I just stared.

“Hyper?” I snapped. “Is that how you see me? The hyper, crazy, ugly, follower of a girl, friend of Lily and Charlie? Is that how you see me?” I shouted, quite loudly. I don’t know what came over me but I had to finish. He stuttered, lost for words. His date looked at us. I ignored her.

“Listen Lupin,” I said harshly, harsher than I intended. “ Just because I am not always hyper and go lucky as you picture me, it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with me! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!” I burst out. Oh yeah, Danny so convincing. I snatched my arm away from him and ran and ran into the night air and I broke down and cried. And for what? Realizing that I am a freak in jeans and Etnies shoes.

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Oh ye Gods. Bad? Good? What say you??







Chapter 10: The Butterfly
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I just want to thank my reviewers because you are what I call AWESOME! Please read and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter! How many times do I have to write this??
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I don’t really know how long I just sat there on the cold hard ground, listening to the silence outside. It was so peaceful and it calmed me down. I was soaking wet and the patter of rain on my face eased all the tension that I had away. Oh, God what was I thinking? Bursting out like that, like some crazy low-self-esteem lunatic. Off the loony bin with you, Danny. I chuckled nervously, to no one. I was a mess and I knew it. I laid my head down on my knees and closed me eyes. The silence, the rain it was perfect and I wanted to stay like this forever. No people to judge you, no evil bitches, no beautiful friends to always overshadow you it was just you, alone and content. That was going to be me. Alone and content. I laughed aloud at this, who was I kidding I needed friends, I hate the feeling of being alone. I know it’s shameful but being alone makes you feel so empty, so hollow, I didn’t want that feeling. I got it enough at home… I sighed while tears started to fall again but this time it mixed with the rain, disappearing.

“Danny?” Someone behind me asked, looking out into the night, hoping to find me. For one moment I thought it was Remus but it wasn’t. Disappointment is cruel. It was Seb.

“Crab?” I whispered, looking up and finding his familiar silhouette outlined by lights from the windows.

He ran to me and was quickly by my side, stroking my hair as I sobbed into his shoulder. He didn’t even question why I was out here, in the rain crying. I was weak, crying over shame. I never cried, never, not when my father hit me, not when my mother left. Memories came flooding back. This is why I always was so happy, I was pretending, I was forgetting. People didn’t understand me.

“I am so…” I hiccupped into his chest, “ so.. sorry.” I sobbed. I grabbed his cloak.

He pulled me closer and whispered, “ Sorry for what?”

“For being me,” I said, looking away.

He grabbed my shoulders and made me look at him straight in the eye. His blonde hair was sticking to his face. I would have laughed under different circumstances.

“Don’t ever say that, Daniela,” He looked at me. “Don’t ever say that.” He repeated firmly.

I loved him. Yes, you heard me I loved him but not like love-love. I loved him family-love. Does that make sense? He was a big, blonde teddy bear who even though I wore him in, he still was always there for me. He was my big, blonde teddy bear.

“Thank you, Crab,” I breathed. “You are my big, blonde teddy bear.”

He chuckled. “You forgot handsome and sexy teddy bear”

I smiled into his shirt.
“Of course,” I said. “My big, blonde, handsome and bloody sexy teddy bear.”

And all of a sudden everything felt right again. The memories that I feared went away, tucked safely away in my mind. My normal, energetic self surfaced again and I was fine.

“So are we going to dress you up?” Sebastian asked after he figured that I was well, me again.

“For what?” I asked bewildered. Then it dawned on me.

“No freaking way, José.” I said backing away putting my arms over my chest. I was being stubborn.

“Yes you are and we are going to make you look fabulous!” He clapped his hands, joyfully. It was a time like these that you remembered that he was gay.

“No!” I cried, desperate. “ Besides its already late for going to the Ball!”

He just grinned and took my hand and started dragging me toward the Gryffindor common room. He quickly went up to the boys dormitory instructing me stay there or and I quote, “ Do not do anything Dannyish.” I waited for him impatiently. What could he possibly be doing? When he came down he held a silk dark blue fabric. It was beautiful. The color and the sheer softness of it all made it so stunning. It was simple, there were no beads or embroideries it was just, silk.

“O wow,” I breathed.

“Yes, indeed.” He said. “Now turn around so I can fit you. It should only take about 5 minutes and you’ll be beau of the Ball.”

The fabric was too beautiful to say no to. I did as he asked.

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There stood a girl, I girl I did not recognize. She was beautiful and as I looked at her, I fell into awe. Because you see dear reader I was that girl, that girl incredulous girl who saw what she looked like in the mirror. The girl’s long flowing black hair was in a side ponytail that gracefully fell over her right shoulder. Her dress was the color of midnight, not black but blue. It was knee length and flowed out silkily beneath her, showing off her legs. It was so simple so elegant that it was mesmerizing. I looked closer at the girl’s face, the eyelashes looked so long, so parted. Her lips were full and rosy and delightfully pink. She, I was gorgeous. And the same thing kept repeating itself over and over again, ‘ is that really me? Is that really me? And it was and I hugged Crab so tightly, that I almost crushed him.

“What did you do to me?” I asked.
“I just let out the butterfly that was always in you.” He whispered back.

“Aww, Crab that is so cheesy!” I told him laughing and I twirled around and around.
“So… about the shoes…” I say indicating to my bear feet.

He paled. I guess that means he didn’t think about that. I laughed even more.

“No problem, Seb I’ll just wear my black converses.” I said gaily.

“But….” He stuttered. I shushed him and kept telling him it was okay.

“But there is one thing that concerns me,” I told him after my twirling escapade.

“What?” He asked bewildered.

“I don’t want people to know its me, because I kept telling everybody that the Ball was dreadful and such, and me going to the Ball would be hypocritical, “ I said thinking about my outbursts at Remus. “Plus people are going to look at me differently after this and it’ll be just plain embarrassing.” I finish.

Sebastian just tilted his head and rushed to the boy’s dormitory without a word. I waited and when he came back he held a white mask. And here I am thinking that I’ll look like some superhero wannabe.

“Am I supposed to wear that?” I asked incredulous. Pretty stupid question really but like always I wasn’t thinking.

“Well, you did say you wanted no one to know who you were.” He said handing it to me.

I groaned. Me and my big mouth, but nonetheless I put it on. So for the second time that night I didn’t recognize who I was. All you could see were my lips and even they, my lips I mean, seemed foreign to me. I slipped on my converse shoes and hugged Seb. It was time for me to go.

“Wait, you need earrings!” He exclaimed and ran all the way to the boy’s dorm and found me a pair. Where did this boy get all these things and just when I asked him about that he told me all this was his sister’s. The earrings were simple just like everything else, they dangled elegantly and every time I moved they caught the light. It was so pretty.

The common room was so quiet seeing as how everyone was at the homecoming Ball and I felt tears coming. Where would I be without this fabulous boy in front of me? Probably in the rain pitying myself. I gave a swift kiss on the cheek and told him he was wonderful, marvelous, and fabulous. He smiled cockily and said, “ I know,” and with that he ushered me to the Great Hall.

I turned and asked him when he was coming. He said he’d be down in a few and that he’d see me there. I had to go in alone. Argh, at least I had a mask.

I stood outside the Great Hall for who knows how long and just stared at it, the door I mean. My heart was beating a mile a minute and I felt entirely paralyzed. This was a bad idea, bad, bad stupid idea but I was Daniela Mia Benice Favriaani and I could do anything or at least that is what I am making myself think. Oh, Gods here I go.

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I think Danny needs a boost of self esteem so I made her beautiful! HA! See what your missing Remus? lol Tell me what you think in the review box.

Chapter 11: Out of line and rocking!
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I didn’t want to seem childish or what not but I was starting to doubt. Like you know you’re being a complete idiot and know that whatever it is you’re doing isn’t going to end well but you do it anyway? That’s what I was feeling as I entered the Great Hall and bloody hell was I right.

WHACK
A gasp
A shriek

A boy was apparently leaning on the door that I had pushed open and he being a guy fell over and the drink that he was holding splashed on his date’s white dress. The girl shrieked and ran off crying with the boy trailing after her yelling, “I am sorry, come back!” I felt so unbelievably guilty and everybody was staring at me accusingly. I know this is going to sound vain but seeing all those eyes upon me made me feel sort of like Cinderella but of course Cinderella was in no way a klutz like me and the people who were staring at Cinderella as she walked in looked at her with awe or jealousy. For me, they looked at me in horror and curiosity and that by no means was at all pleasant and my converses didn’t help that much either, seeing as how that was where their eyes were drawn to first. I averted my eyes and shuffled into the crowd, hoping that this Ball would end quickly. The sooner the better, I thought grudgingly. I scanned the room looking for a secluded area in which I could, hopefully remain undetected or at least be kept from causing absolute mayhem. I managed to find one, hidden by a gigantic fern and I eagerly headed toward it but was beaten by a rather disgruntled Sirius Black. Oh, great, I thought but seeing as how there was no other secluded place in this damn overcrowded room I had no other choice then to sit by him. I adjusted my mask, making sure it was secured tightly. I walked purposely toward the seat.

I pitched my voice a tone lower.

“Excuse me, is it okay with you if I could sit there?” I asked, gesturing toward the empty seat next to him.

Sirius looked at me, obviously startled. His hazy silver, blue eyes looking me over. The perve. He nodded.

“Thank you,” I replied and sat down, scooting away from him. I wondered where Charlie could be; I mean Sirius was her date after all. I surveyed the room trying to look for my friend but was rudely interrupted by Sirius.

“I believe I haven’t introduced myself,” He said scooting closer to me. I scooted away from him.

“Oh,” I said putting on my ice queen voice, “ I know who you are.”

He looked mildly surprised but quickly masked it.

“Oh?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow, which I think he thought, was seductive. It was not seductive in any way.

“Yes, you are Sirius Black, the notorious flirt.” I said, still scanning the crowd, not bothering to look at him.

“And where pray tell did you receive that information from?” He asked. I could hear the slight irritation in his voice.

“People, places, everywhere.” I said, nonchalantly.

“Ah, I see.” He said. What an idiotic prat, I thought. “And what is your name?” He asked, scooting closer to me. I had nowhere to scoot away from seeing as how I was already at the edge. I sighed inwardly.

“I didn’t realize it was custom to interrogate girls when they obviously want to be left alone.” I say, still in my ice queen mode.

“Well, maybe you don’t realize its custom to be polite to strangers and introduce yourself.” He retorted. “As well as actually wearing the proper attire,” He added looking distastefully at my shoes.

“ And what are you implying Mr. Black?” I stand up angrily.

He jumped to his feet. It was a good move considering how much taller he stood over me.

“I am implying that you are rude and cold and have a odd sense of clothing.” He bit out savagely.

“Rude?” I stuttered out. This man, boy, whatever was delirious. “ Cold? I am neither of those things but when I am in the presence of a utter imbecile, like you, I am forced to act ‘cold’ and ‘rude’.” I say.

“Utter imbecile, eh?” He sneered. “ And what are you? Why do you wear a mask? What are you so afraid of?”

I look up at him. What was I afraid of? Being seen like this, being judged. I was afraid of feeling alone. I didn’t like that feeling. I was afraid of people seeing me, as a ‘butterfly’ maybe their perception of me would be different, like Sirius. I sighed; I was being a cold-hearted bitch.

“I am afraid of people seeing me.” I whispered looking down at my checkered shoelaces.

This caught him off guard, as he didn’t come up with a snide remark. I bent my head and sat down, looking away from him. What in the name of Merlin was I doing confessing my weakness to Sirius Black? I thought. I quickly regained my composure.
I turned and glared up at him.

“You know what, never mind,” I said briskly, standing up. “You’re Sirius Black after all, you’d never understand.”

I try walking away but he grabs my hand. I turn to him, seething.

“How dare you touch me!” I say, snatching my arm away.

“What in the name of Merlin is your problem?” He asks angrily. “ You don’t even know me and yet you have this whole big idea in your head that I am a sex crazed maniac!”

I sniff and glare at him. I cross my arms over my chest.

“I never said you were a sex crazed maniac, I said you were an utter imbecile!” I say. “Now will you kindly leave me alone?”

“No,” he says flatly. “I am a Black and we never back down.”

I snort.

“Funny,” I say snidely, “I thought your family disowned you, that’s backing down if I ever saw one.”

I immediately regret what I had said. The look he gave me, was loathing, not the usual loathing but actual hatred. There was sadness too. My heart stopped beating and I averted my gaze.

“Wait, I didn--” I stutter out. I am ashamed.

“No, I get it,” He says cutting me off. “I don’t get why I wasted my time on you, besides I have a date waiting for me.” There’s ice in his voice. I shiver, so cold.

He starts to walk away.

“No wait,” I call out desperately. I wasn’t that cold hearted, I was obviously out of line and I needed to fix this even if it was Sirius Black, the one not a few weeks ago I utterly humiliated.

“I’m sorry, I had no right…. I’m sorry,” I say grabbing his arm forcing him to turn around.

“I’m just like that you know? “ I say, “ I say things but I don’t mean them, I had no right, I was out of line, forgive me for being so rude and cold.” I finish lamely.

Argh, I wanted to kick myself. How lame and desperate did that sound? Very? Yes, I thought, very, very much.

“Erm…” Sirius said, interrupting my thoughts, “You’re speaking to yourself.”

I looked up at him, blushing deeply.

“Oh?” I say, lamely.

“And yes that did sound lame and desperate,” He said. There’s laughter in his eyes. I sigh a sigh of relief, inwardly of course.

“Sorry,” I mutter. Damn, I thought.

“Damn indeed,” He says smiling now.

I stare at him, incredulous.

“Did I just voice my thoughts aloud again?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

“You really do remind me of someone I know but I can’t figure out whom,” He says good-naturedly. My comment on his family is forgotten and it surprises me how really relieved I am at that. Somehow I think this brings me on good terms with him in some twisted way. But I had to remember he didn’t know it was me, his arch nemesis and somehow I don’t think he’d be thrilled to know that it was me who he had been trying to hit on.

There’s a laugh and it’s from Sirius. It’s a nice laugh; different from the mocking sort he gives me all the time. He was laughing at something I had just said and I honestly didn’t know what I said. I think I am too caught up in my own little world, but when have I haven’t?

He’s smiling down on me and I feel the corners of my mouth smiling in return. Whoa, I just smiled at Sirius Black and I kind of liked it. But his smile vanishes and I look quizzically at him.

“Why are you afraid of people seeing you?” He asked serious. It moved me to see him so deeply concerned about a stranger or what he thought was a stranger not his arch nemesis. I almost smiled at this. If he only knew, he would not be this nice to me, at all.

“I guess I am afraid of people seeing me differently.” I say. “ I mean I’ve built this whole happy go-lucky image and people don’t really know it’s just a façade, even my best friends don’t know.” I say sadly. “ The most ironic thing is that I am telling you and not them.” And how ironic it was. I was talking to SIRIUS BLACK, the boy that I had just not minutes ago dubbed ‘utter imbecile’ and now I was telling him about my mother leaving, my dad’s complete lack of attention and sometimes abuse and I was telling him while silent tears rolled down my cheek. He saw them drop off my chin. Merlin, I am having a cry today. He grabbed my callused hands attentively and awkwardly patted it. I smiled sweetly. Boys, I thought, awkward at the first sign of emotion. His hands were cold and cool but they warmed me. Strange.

“Let’s dance!” I say randomly, feeling heat rise to my face as he hurriedly let go of my hand. I hastily wiped the tears away.

It was a fast pace song, filled with guitars and drum solos. I jumped excitedly and walked up to the dance floor and I started dancing like a maniac. I was laughing hysterically. I was dancing with the most random people until I found Lily and James dancing closely. Lily looked flushed while James looked so…. so… Happy! I bumped into Lily. She looked at me with confusion then she caught sight of my shoes and recognition flashed in her eyes. She laughed as I departed with the thumbs up sign in the air. I resumed to my dancing; dragging Sirius and making him dance. He couldn’t dance and I was laughing so hard. The band started playing Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix and I ran up the stage begging to play the electric guitar. The guitarist looked at my eager face and nodded warily. I mean they allowed just for today muggle electronics to be allowed. I was psyched. And I started playing with the band beside me. It was amazing. Everybody’s eyes widened as they saw me up there. I felt the chords and I got lost into the music. The students started getting into it and singing the lyrics. I felt like a rock star. Dumbledore was looking at me with the usual twinkle in his eye and I felt proud and flushed.

When it was done there was a huge round of applause and several encores. I beamed and stuck out my tongue in the rocker way.

“Rock on!”

They all laughed. Sirius looked at me oddly.

“That was….” He said. I looked at him. “ Bloody brilliant!” I smiled happily and somehow that made me truly happy and giddy inside. I admit it was weird.

“Danny!” I heard a voice call out behind me. I turned around it was Charlie. I gulped. Sirius would find out the mysterious girl was none other than his arch nemesis. I mentally hit myself.

“Danny!” Charlie cried out. “Sirius!”

I turn around to face her. I force a smile and take my mask off. It was a bother anyway.

“How did you know it was me?” I asked, smiling. My back was turned so I couldn’t see Sirius’s reaction. I heard a scoff though and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I mean it was so obvious,” Charlie said, “ The checkered shoelaces, the converses, the brilliant guitar moves, all you!

I laughed.

“You look gorgeous,” she said in awe and I blushed, really hard because Mr. Black was right behind me.

“Where did you get the dress?” She asked fingering it.

“Sebastian made it for me!” I said, “Isn’t it amazing?”

She gave a look of No-freaking-way.

“I know!” I squealed then I realized I was holding up their date. “Well my darling, I am going to leave you to your date!” I said while winking. This makes her laugh and she punches me on the arm. “Don’t do anything naughty!” I said while leaving but it was more directed in the direction of Sirius who I just realized his mouth was hanging open the whole time.

“G’night Sirius darling!” I say blowing him a teasing kiss. “This doesn’t change anything though, Black.” He just gapes at me and I am walking away, triumphant, suddenly very proud of being me. I smile and go to the dance floor finding Seb and start to dance like no ones watching. Pretty sweet, I say.

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Chapter 12: The Aftermath of the Ball
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It was the morning after the Ball and my head was pounding. Everything seemed so stupidly bright. I rested my head on the desk and put my arms over my head. From up above me Sirius laughed, he unlike everybody else didn’t seem to be affected. I reckon he spiked the pumpkin juice, as one of those damn pranks he enjoys. I remembered McGonagall dancing stupidly, flirting insanely with a plant. I let out a laugh, from the memory. Wrong, thing to do as my head almost cracked open from my laughing, I groaned. Stupid Marauders, I thought from under my arm. Stupid Professor Binns for seating me between Remus and Sirius. I heard him drone on and on. I groaned again and I heard Sirius chuckle. Binns voice was driving me absolutely insane not to mention the hurried scratching of the Remus’s quill against the parchment. Who really takes notes in this class? I snapped my head up; thoroughly irritated, grabbed Remus’s quill threw it at Binns and turned to Sirius and raised my wand to his mouth, “Silencio!” Sirius opened his mouth but no sound came out, thank God.

I plopped my head on the desk and once again put my arm over my head. Everybody let out a bark of laughter, which didn’t help with my headache.

“Oh for the love of Merlin,” I yell. “Shut up! And yes that includes you Professor.” I say responding to his incredulous look.

I am in a foul mood. Sirius is laughing but no sound is coming out. Remus is staring at me in horror and I am remembered at my shameful outburst. I smile at Remus willing myself to look sorry. He smiles back and I know my embarrassing outburst at the Ball is forgotten. He is really so kind, no wonder I like him.

“Miss Favriaani please escort yourself out to the Hea-” Professor Binns starts but I cut him off.

“I know I know, I’ll go to Dumbledore!” I say loudly, grabbing my things and stuffing them in my bag. I walk out catching the eye of Lily who has an expression of exasperation on her face.

James lets out a whoop.

“Go Danny!”

I grin giving him the thumbs up.

“Mister Potter, sit down this instant!” Binns states as he begins floating angrily toward James. “ I will not have you encouraging Miss Favriaani, she is in as much trouble as it is.”

I roll my eyes.

“Ta ta my dear, poor, bored…” I begin to say but Binns is looking at me so accusingly that I run out of his class.
As soon as I get out of class my head starts to pound and I rub at my temple ruefully. Damn Sirius. Him and his cocky self, him and his stupid pranks, him and his caring self. Whoa, I did not just say caring, okay fine I did but it is only the truth I mean really, I told him my life story and he isn’t running and hiding. I say that’s pretty caring don’t you? He is just a good listener. Just a good listener. Stop looking at me like that!

I walk to Dumbledore’s office and I am feeling quite nervous. I mean it is Dumbledore after all, maybe I was crossing the line at throwing the quill at Binns but he’s a ghost how could it possibly hurt him? I mean, really, he’s already dead.

Oh, Merlin, I thought as I reached his door. The gargoyles, looked quite menacing.

“Password?”

“Are you bloody serious?” I cry, flailing my arms about. “I am in a bloody foul mood even with you over-rated gargoyle things and I think I have a major hangover thanks to the bloody yet oddly caring Sirius Black!”

I cross my arms fuming. They look at me interestedly with their STONE eyes. I have now dubbed them Stony Ugly Gargoyle Thingies in short SUGT.

SUGT spoke in that scratchy voice only SUGT can.

“Ah, you know the Sirius Black?” They asked. “ Because he has been here a number of times, very mischievous child he is. I like him.”

“Galloping sugar cubes,” I say angrily. “ Sirius Black this, Sirius Black that. I am sick of hearing his name and especially sick of him getting into my thoughts. Argh!”

They leap aside, letting me in. The wall behind it separates to reveal a spiral stone staircase. They have a rather disappointed look on their face.

“That’s the password?” I ask, stupidly. “Galloping sugar cubes?”

“Yes, the headmaster has a curious love of anything sweet.” SUGT says.

But I, having the short attention span of a dog quickly enter and leave them happily behind. I hop on the staircase and it propels me upward. I stagger a bit surprised by this. The staircase goes slowly enough that I see the SUGT closing behind me. I finally reach a large oak door with a brass knocker in the shape of the griffin. This picture is rather imposing on a small human being like me and I feel like the griffin is watching me. Sometimes I hate being short. I gulp; doubts are forming in my head. Maybe I shouldn’t have thrown a quill at Binns. But, alas too late because I feel my hand reaching for the griffin head and I knock pensively waiting nervously for the supposed dreaded encounter with the Headmaster. But then I hear humming from inside and melodious, “enter.”

I walk in and the beauty of the room immediately throws me off. It is a large circular room with a large window with a view of the surrounding mountains and the Quidditch pitch. I hear a cough and I turn around. It’s not the professor but a portrait; in fact there are many portraits that line the walls. I look at them closely and I realize that they must be the previous headmasters and mistresses. Next to Dumbledore’s huge desk is a phoenix and it’s beautiful. Before I have any further crazy ideas of stroking the bird’s crimson feathers I spot Dumbledore behind one of his many bookshelves.

“Good morning miss Favriaani,” He says pleasantly while pushing up his half moon spectacles.

“Morning sir,” I say formally. I want to laugh though because I cannot be formal whatsoever.

Silence follows and Dumbledore is looking at me amiably it makes me think that he can read my thoughts.

“Err…. Aren’t you going to ask me why I am here?” I ask after a few minutes of nothing happening.

“Ah, yes of course but I already know,” Dumbledore says while seating himself behind his desk.

“You do?” I ask dumbly. “I bet you anything you just read my thoughts kind of like ESP or something,” I ramble on.

He chuckles and nods his head.

“In a way yes, but I didn’t read your thoughts because not only would that be rude it would also be a violation of privacy, Professor Binns has informed me.”

“Oh!” I say embarrassed. “ Will it be too clichéd for me to shout out and say in a dramatic voice, ‘Wait I can explain!’” Oh my God Danny what are you thinking acting like a complete moron in front of the Greatest Wizard Who Has Ever Lived, well in my books anyway, Oh he Gods I hope Dumbledore doesn’t expel me.

“Please do so,” Dumbledore says gesturing toward the seat across from him, that twinkle is in his eyes again, like he finds me amusing or something. I probably am considering how I babble all the time.

I sit down and the whole Sirius and James spiked the drink is flowing from my mouth and the unjust of it all, and how the Professor’s voice annoyed me greatly causing me to grab Remus’s quill and throw it at the Professor and I also added how deeply annoying his SUGT were.

“SUGT?” Asked Dumbledore politely.

“Stony Ugly Gargoyle Thingies,” I say.

“I see and how pray tell did they annoy you Miss Favriaani?”

“They talked to me about Sirius and well, I suppose they err.. well…” I say feeling stupid. SUGT didn’t do anything actually harmful to me I suppose I am just losing my temper.

“Okay they haven’t done anything annoying to me in particular but you see at this very moment my head is pounding like crazy due to the alcohol in the pumpkin juice and it makes me quite irritable.”

“Well then off to Madame Pomfrey with you and about your punishment, well there will be none,” he says winking as he opens the door, “ Of course you will refrain from throwing objects at Professors yes, and please do apologize to Professor Binns I assume being a ghost is pretty difficult”

“Of course sir,” I say saluting him. Dumbledore really is the best. “Thank you sir, you totally rock!” I add as I walk out of his office.

“As do you and I did enjoy your purple haze guitarist song quite a lot of talent right there.” He says chuckling.

I smile and I am off hopping away. That is until I bump into Remus.

“Remus?” I stutter out.

“ ‘ello how was Dumbledore? Did you get detention?” He asks.

“Nope, but I have to apologize to Binns about throwing your quill at him.” I say, “Did you get your quill back?”

He flips his hair away from his eyes and I almost die.

“Yes actually, but the Professor thinks you and I are mad partners in crime so he gave me an hour long speech and you know how that is,” He sighs dramatically.

I laugh at this and do an imitation of Binns droning on and on with me swaying from side to side like a ghost and when I am doing this I feel a hand clasp my own and I look at Remus startled. He looks horrified and flushed at the same time. I laugh.

“I was meaning to ask you to dance at the Ball but Candy wouldn’t let go of me,” He whispered in my ear. I shivered.

“ Candy?” I say, “ Nice name.” My voice is calm and teasing as it always is but inside I am floating and flushed.

He laughs and we start just swaying to the side, not actually dancing. From a passer by we must have looked drunk. He is so much taller than me I have to stand on my tiptoes to dance with him. Here we are just dancing in the middle of the Hall and to me it’s perfect.

“Daniela,” He says seriously, “I think… I think that…. I like you!” He blurts.

“What a coincidence I happen to fancy you as well,” I say light heartily. I am in fact so happy and joyous that I find it hard to breathe and that is why utter rubbish is flowing out of my mouth.

“Good,” He whispers and his face is so close to mine and I am worried he’ll see my few spots on my face and flee screaming. I am very, very vain at time like these. Well, fine I wouldn’t know because this is well, my first time and it is quite thrilling. He leans in and I don’t know what to do. Close my eyes? But what if he expects me to kiss him and I miss because I can’t see. Open them and look like a fool? Wait, does my breath smell good? God, are teeth supposed to me involved? I tighten my grip on his neck and pull him closer and right before our lips are about to meet I feel a certain flapping of wings next to me and I turn around, irritated.
It’s the golden snitch and it’s flying around us speedily.

“James,” I growl and I find I am not the only one who is entirely pissed off, Remus is as well.

But alas it’s not James it’s Sirius who is grinning innocently. I don’t buy it.

“Black,” I growl.

“Favriaani,” He counters.

“Oi, Padfoot what are you doing?” Asks an irritated Remus.

“Nothing, the snitch just got away that’s all.” He says, batting his eyelashes.

“Oh cut the crap Black why are you here?” I cry flailing my arms about.

“Well, first of all Daniela this is a corridor, free to the public and I don’t think people want to see you guys sucking face in the middle of it!” He says contemptuously.

I am about to retort but then I realize he called me Daniela, my first name. My stomach does this weird falling thing but I ignore it.

“Oh, Syphilis I mean Sirius,” I say hastily. Sirius turns red and Remus is holding back laughter, “ Thank you for your concern, really but I think your snitch is flying off,” I say pointing to the glint of gold in the distance.

“Oh Merlin,” He says and runs off, calling for James to catch it.
I turn toward Remus and kiss him on the cheek. He blushes.

“I have to jet, Remus I’ll see you,” I say smiling sweetly. He grabs my hand and squeezes it and its nice and sweet. But I realize there isn’t that familiar pounding in my heart but I ignore it as I run off to tell Charlie, Lily and Sebastian the most glorious news. As I am walking back to the dormitory I spot Sirius and James running around on the grounds chasing after the snitch and I see James give a good whack at Sirius’s head. I laugh as I see Sirius give another good whack at James’s head. They are shouting at each other but then James looks around and realizes the snitch is even farther away, he points to it and both boys are running after it again. Quite amusing and I can’t help noticing how good Sirius looks running with the wind in his face and there’s that determined look on and I think…I think…. that he looks exactly like the guy in my dream, with those big blue, silver eyes. Then I think of course not, I mean it can’t be Sirius right? I mean really, No. That is mad, that is insane and it is because I will never ever like Sirius let alone love him.
No, its madness that is what it is.

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Chapter 13: Boys=weird creatures
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Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for Danny, Charlie and Sebastian!

“Argh, Slughorn is an absolute MAD MAN!!” I cry dramatically, falling onto the armchair. “ How in the name of Merlin does he think we will finish 12 bloody feet of parchment in ONE bloody night? Bloody stupid, really.”

Charlie groans and falls on top of me, crying over and over again, “Mad man, mad man,”

I laugh she really is insane.

Lily looks at the two of us in absolute disgust. She has already begun her homework.

“Well I think if you guys would have taken notes you would have been able to finish the essay. He gave you time in class,” Lily says icily.

“Yes but Slughorn doesn’t like me at all, you’re his favorite, besides Charlie and I are too cool for school,” I say as Charlie and I make our cool looks which involves us leaning against each other and pouting and giving our best 007 glares while crossing our arms over our chest, like true gangsters. NOT.

Lily rolls her eyes.

“There is a reason why Slughorn doesn’t like you Danny, have you forgotten how you blew off his eyebrows while he was looking at your potion?” She says eyeing me.

“But that was---” I start.

“Have you forgotten the time where your potion blew up and covered the whole dungeon in slime? We couldn’t walk out the door, our feet were planted in slime!” She says getting more and more into the conversation.

“Yes but--” I try to say but I am cut off once again.

“Or the time Danny let all the newt’s eyeballs fall on the floor and everybody ran screaming because they were scared.” Charlie pipes up.

I whip my head around and glare at her, who’s side was she on? Charlie grinned.

“Yes but all that was an accident! I mean really its me!” I cry as if this fact proved everything and it kind of did, “ Slughorn should have known better than to put his ugly, pudgy face over my potion and he also should have elaborated on how much of salamander spit we were to put in our potion not to mention what kind of bloke puts a whole jar of eyeballs on his desk with me in the room!”

I cross my arms and glare and I realize that I have an audience consisting of Sebastian, James, Peter, Remus and Black.

They all burst out laughing and when Peter laughed pieces of cheese flew out from his mouth. Dear Lord, is this boy ever without a piece of cheese?

“Think its funny do you?” I say embarrassed.

They laugh again, including Charlie! Lily is still finishing her homework. What an overachiever.

I cross my arms and glare at all of them. Remus comes up and sits beside me a fact that doesn’t go ignored by everybody in the whole room. I have forgotten to tell my dear friends of my encounter with Remus in the hall. There was going to be hell to pay.

Remus grabs my hand and it’s warm and slightly sweaty. I look up at him and smile. He is amazing isn’t he? His floppy air falls over his eyes and he blushes.

“Ahem,” says a voice from afar and I quickly snap out of my trance. It’s Peter. Good Lord, it can speak!

“I er….” I start to say but I can’t really finish my sentence because the whole common room is in turmoil and people I hardly know let alone recognize are coming up to Remus and I and peering at us as if we were animals. One little girl came up to me and sighed so admiringly that I got slightly frightened. There were also quite a few wolf whistles, but most of them were from James, so I guess that hardly counts. Peter just kept staring. I was quite creeped out causing my grip on Remus’s hand to tighten. I turned to Charlie and she was grinning from ear to ear, making heart shapes with her fingers. It wasn’t working. Lily just rolled her eyes but there was hint of a smile on her lips. Sebastian was gaping. I laughed. But then I caught Sirius’s eye and he was glaring? Really, this bloke always seems pissed off.

“S’matter Sirius?” James says poking him playfully.

Sirius turns away from me and looks at James moodily.

“Nothing,” he says brusquely. Oh yeah, Sirius just about as convincing as me. Sirius slumps up into his dormitory ignoring James quizzical glances.

I turn my attention to Remus but he’s frowning and he gives me a shy quick peck on the cheek before running off to follow Sirius. James looks longingly at Lily.

“Farewell my love,” He says dramatically. He gets a savage glare in return. James just smiles and hops up the staircase following Remus and Sirius. And then there was one, Peter. He squeaks as we all watch him expectantly, our new channel of the hour. Then he runs off toward the staircase tripping over his own feet. I try to fight back my laughter. But I can’t. But thank goodness he’s out of sight.

“Well,” I say after a few minutes of confused silence, “ That was weird.”

“Their boys Danny, they are always weird.” Charlie says smugly.

“So, Charlie how’s it going with Sirius?” I ask, searching my bag for parchment.

“Are you kidding me? Did you not just see how he blew me off? In fact, he’s been avoiding me, I mean when you ask a girl to go to a bloody formal ball with you, you expect maybe a teeny bit of affection, but oh no, it was all I’ll get you a drink, hold on and voila, he disappears like that!” Charlie says viciously while snapping her fingers.

I gulp.

“How incredibly rude!” I choke out, hastily searching for parchment.

“I know and I saw him… Err… Danny your parchment is right there.” She says pointing to my lap.

“Oh, who would have guessed?” I say cheekily. “Heh, heh!”

Charlie looks at me weirdly and continues her rant on how Sirius is such a ditcher.

“Yeah, I saw him looking down Loretta Berlin’s boobs!” She says gloomily.

“Whoa, you noticed that?” I asked surprised, looking up from my essay.

“Well, yea I pretended not to because well I didn’t want to seem like a jealous clingy type person, you know?”

Lily nods knowingly. I continue working on the stupid potion essay.

“So I am taking things aren’t going well with Black?” I ask.

She gives me an incredulous look.

“NO!” She cries, “ Things aren’t going well with Black! I mean he is really, really good-looking and whatnot but he has an attention span of a pea and maybe he prefers the tart type you know? Besides…”

And she kept going and going and going, it was like she couldn’t shut up. I know that sounds selfish and rude and she is my best friend but really no one, absolutely no one talks about Sirius Black that long.

“So anyway how are both of your love lives going?” Charlie asks after her long rant. “I dare say Lily, you and Potter are going to end up married, you two looked awfully close yesterday night.”

I snort and Lily punches me on the arm.

“Well, it is Potter but he isn’t that bad, I mean once you get past his inflated head, pompous attitude, his huge ego, his rants about Quidditch, the stupid pranks, he’s okay.” Lily says.

“Aha!” I cry out, dropping my quill and pointing at her fervently. “ You like Potter!”

“No,” She states firmly but she’s blushing like mad. I do a jig around the room. Lily is staring at me in horror and annoyance.

“Okay fine, so what if I fancy Potter? It’s just…” She starts, “Just a stupid little crush that will go away in a week.”

I glance at Charlie and I know we are both thinking the same thing, yeah right.

“Week?” I say incredulously, “Darling, you and Potter are going to spend the rest of your lives together and have little redheaded babies with little emerald eyes and a nasty habit of ruffling ones hair in the presence of an incredibly gorgeous person.”

We all laugh at this and unbeknownst to me, two boys upstairs in their dormitory were getting into a quarrel about me. Weird huh?

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Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, you know with school and everything its kind of hard and this wasn't one of my best chapters, I seem to have been suffering from writer's block and sadly, I still think I am but have no fear, I will prevail for you, dear readers. Also if it isn't too much to ask, would you care to review? Thank you! :D


Chapter 14: Saying Goodbye, in a way....
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Disclaimer For the love of Merlin I do not OWN HARRY POTTER!!

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I feel confused, elated and odd at the same time.

“How can you like her?” I hear Sirius yell.

“How can you not?” Remus counters and he is yelling. And for those who know Remus, Remus never yells.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Sirius says incredulously, snidely.

I am stung, stung. Hatred is bubbling up inside of me. Screw you, Sirius Black, screw you. I don’t care if you listened that one time, your nothing more than a backstabbing jerk. I should have seen it, I should have known. I had slipped into some kind of trance thinking that we had some how come to terms with everything, thinking that maybe, just maybe there was more to you than Quidditch and shagging girls. Sirius Black was nothing more than a son-of-a-bitch. But their raised conversation didn’t stop there.

“Do you know how screwed up her family is? Her father beats her for God sakes!” Sirius yells. “Because he thinks she’s the reason why her mother left! Which makes you think, she must have inherited some of her families psychopathic ways.”

Charlie and Lily gasp, looking at me with a mixture of horror and surprise. They are paralyzed. They don’t know what to do, what to think, what to feel. I looked down at my shoes; my converses and sadness fill me up. My heart sinks, sinks. I bend down and untie my shoes. I slip them off and grab them. Sebastian tries to soothe me but I am to quick.

Then I am running, running. Running out of the common room, running out in the corridor, my socks making soft patting noises on the ground. I am running far away. Okay, fine, outside next to the lake. I am running so fast I don’t realize what a beautiful day it is. The sun is shining merrily oblivious to my thunderous heart, the forbidden forest looms ahead, as ominous as ever. I reach the lake; it’s vast and seems to stretch on forever. I run toward the lake, into the water, ankle deep and I throw my converses into the air, into the lake so forcefully that I can hear the whoosh of the wind as it whooshes by. I laugh manically. Gone are the shoes that marked me different. Gone are the shoes that I wore to the dreadful Ball; gone are the shoes that I confessed my secrets to Sirius Black. My favorite converses are gone and they are nothing but a tiny error sinking down to the bottom of the lake, like I am a tiny error on this bloody, stupid earth.

I walk out of the water, breathing heavily, still laughing. But once my foot touches solid ground, I break down. My wall, my mask, crumbles away, leaving me vulnerable and I don’t laugh like a lunatic anymore. I collapse next to a large tree and bury my face in my hands and cry. Sobs rack my body, as I remember my mother, kissing me, telling me everything was going to be okay, saying she loved me. I loved her but she left. I was six. My father, drunk calling out for my mother, she never came, found me, hit me. I was ten.
Alone, in my house nobody home, I was twelve. My father home, lounging on the couch, silence, I was fourteen.

Now look at me, a helpless wreck, I vowed to be strong, never running away like my mother, never doing nothing like my father. I was strong for a time until Sirius Black ruined it all.

“Danny!” I hear somebody call. “Danny!” The voice grows more frantic. I don’t answer.

“Favriaani!” I recognize this voice and I clench my fist, the whites of my knuckles showing. Sirius.

I remain slumped next to the tree, but I quickly wipe away my tears with the back of my hand. Calm down Danny, calm down, I think to myself. But there is no denying that irresistible urge to kick something, namely Sirius’s body.

“Favriaani!” Sirius calls out again, this time it’s close. I sit looking at the lake, taking in its wondrous beauty. The sun begins to set, and the light reflects on the water creating the illusion of a big whole, circle of fire. I want to bathe in it, to feel the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the lake. I want to feel that circle of fire. I want to-

“There you are!” Charlie says loudly, awakening me from my senses.

I glance at her but remain sitting and continue looking at the lake and the world in front of me. But this time I am not really looking. I am tired and sad.

Without looking away from the lake, I ask why Sirius is looking for me. There is bitterness in my voice, which I know she picks up.

“Danny, please stop doing this,” she says seriously, walking toward me.

“Doing what?” I ask quietly.

“Bottling up everything inside of you, masking you’re feelings, pretending.” She says so sincerely, so bluntly that I look up into her eyes. She is so beautiful and I know I could never match her.

“Stop doing that!” She snaps. “Stop looking at me and feeling sorry for yourself. I can see it.”

I am startled. She knows so much, and it scares me to know that she can read me so easily.

“You are in a category all your own Danny, I wish I were you, so strong.” She says, kneeling in from of me. “ And no matter what, no matter all the secrets you keep, no matter how much you try to hide your feelings, we will be there, Lily and I. I love you Danny and you are my best friend. Don’t forget that.” She says. “Don’t be afraid.”

And I can’t help it and I can feel a smile coming on. It’s a small smile, but it’s a smile nonetheless and I know that Charlie understands. She isn’t pushing me to talk to her; she’s waiting for me to accept who I am. How on earth did I get marvelous friends such as Lily, Charlie and Sebastian? Bloody lucky I say. It makes up for that foul Sirius Black, don’t you think?

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I came back into the common room with Charlie, we were singing God Save the Queen but I was improvising, singing God save the hairs on Sirius’s neck. We were laughing hysterically by the time we reached the common room; I was limping slightly due to my lack of shoes. I had my arm around Charlie’s shoulder and we were swaying side to side. Startled looks came our way, but I didn’t care. I reckon some people thought we were drunk, I mean Lily and Sebastian thought so.

“God, Charlie when I said go after her and make her feel better, I didn’t mean get her drunk!” Sebastian cries, running toward me as soon as we step out of the porthole and preventing me from falling, I seemed to have stumbled. Sebastian’s drunk statement makes me laugh.

Lily runs toward me as well, looking at me with concern. But I smile at her and give her a huge hug. She’s taken aback, not used to my sudden attention but she hugs me back just as fiercely. You see, dear reader my hugs are really rare. I look over her shoulder and I spot the Marauders. Their faces are grim. Remus gives me a small smile, its cute. James sticks out his tongue playfully but I know there is something on his mind. Peter is sitting down, looking at the procession with interest. Sirius looks sorry but determined.

“So Black,” I spit, “ I guess this proves my families ‘psychopathic ways?’”

He stutters and everyone is rushing away with petty excuses such as,

“Homework, you know?” Lily

“ I… um must go due to…. Well yea… bye!” Sebastian.

“My hair, you know from the wind.” Charlie.

“Need to check on my injured collarbone,” James says hastily with an over exaggerated limp. Which makes me think, I thought the collarbone was near the neck.

“Need to check with my furry little problem,” Remus chuckles, “Come help me Peter.”

“Huh?” Peter asks stupidly, oblivious. I am so getting tired of this dude, really.
Remus grabs him and leads a very confused Peter out of the common room, into the corridor.

We are alone; all the other Gryffindor’s are outside or shopping at Hogsmead.

“As stupid as it sounds Black, I actually trusted you!” I roar, exploding. “ You betrayed me, betrayed me, I thought we had come to terms in a weird way, but no, you go and tell Remus, someone that actually likes me for who I am, and try to convince him to dump me by revealing my personal affairs!”

“I thought he had a right to know.” Sirius exclaims weakly.

“Oh, cut the crap Black! I don’t know anymore. I thought there was more to you, I really did but now…you ruined everything.” I shake my head.

“Daniela--” He starts.

“ Don’t you dare call me that,” I spit out. “ Don’t you dare use my name, don’t you dare try to give me pity or an apology unless you mean it! You Black’s think you own the world when in reality you don’t. You, Black are no different.”

“ I am not like my family.” He says quietly but there is a definite edge to his voice.

“Liar,” I whisper dangerously. “ You are every bit like them with your prejudice, conceited, hateful attitude. You don’t belong in Gryffindor. Loyalty? Pshh. Strong of heart? No. Bravery? No.”

“I am not like my family.” He whispers dangerously.

“But you are Black, maybe they disowned but that blood running through your very veins at this very moment still makes you a Black! You think my family is bad? I think you are being hypocritical, you’re family is much worse. Very much so.”

“How does it feel when your father beats you? Ignores you? Does that make you crawl inside?” Sirius taunts.

I laugh mirthlessly at this.

“You are a Black, Sirius.” I say hatefully and with that I walk off, before he notices the single tear drop that’s coursing down my face.

“Coward,” I hear him yell after me. “ Stop hiding Favriaani.”

I whip around.

“LEVICORPUS!”
I flick my wand upward, his body jerks upward, I flick my want downward, and he hits the floor with a grunt.

“ I don’t hide anymore and I am not a coward, stay the hell away from me, Syphilis.” I cut in sharply and with that he falls on the ground with a dull thud.

And as I am walking away, I swear I hear a soft “sorry”. I am obviously delusional. I glance over my shoulder and he’s standing up, looking at me. Those blue eyes usually containing mirth or mischief are now a clouded piercing gray.

“I am sorry too.” I whisper and I turn away.


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What do you think? I am not really sure about this one so your lovely input would be absolutely marvelous!




Chapter 15: Stupid trees and even stupider secrets
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Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK ROWLING because she is AMAZING and I am well…..less than that!
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Christmas was dawning and soon the weather began to change. I looked out from above the Gryffindor tower and was greeted by a blanket of white. I smiled. I adored snow. I adored the winter. The full moon shone in all its glory. And I sighed contently, wishing I could save this moment in time.

But then Black comes down in his jammies and my moment is absolutely ruined. I try to sit there on the windowsill inconspicuously by wrapping myself in the warm blanket on my lap. It’s a Spice Girls duvet another reason why I don’t want him to see me. Imagine the utter shame. Unfortunately he does see me and gives a startled cry. His hair is disheveled in a way that makes it lie comfortably on his forehead, hiding his eyes. I hate to admit it but he does have amazing hair, there is no denying it.

“What are you looking at Favriaani?” He sneers. “ I know I have a great body and all but really, no need to stare with that longing look in your eyes.”

I scoff and that familiar burning sensation in my stomach follows. After his betrayal we haven’t talked, at all. There’s always that cold silence between us as if the other speaks everything will fall apart, like glass. Sirius and I’s ‘relationship’ is on a bridge an icy bridge, fragile. Either way, we still loathe each other but this time it’s more than the stupid quarrels, its actual hatred, hatred worthy of a Slytherin.

“I was actually looking at your hair,” I reply coldly, honestly.

“Thinking of cutting it?” He sneers. “Or are you just merely jealous?”

I couldn’t believe it. This was the first time we have talked in about two months and he’s accusing me of being jealous. Once again, what a bloody moron. I cross my arms over my chest and give him a death glare.

“Fishing for comments now, Black?” I say innocently. “ How’s Berlin is she not giving you all the comments?”

“Oh, shut up.” Sirius says angrily. “ And who the hell are the Spice Girls?”

I blush but thank goodness he can’t see my face in the dark.

“It’s from when I was little.” I reply defiantly. “ The Spice Girls are a band.”

“Loser.” He coughs.

“I despise you Sirius Black!” I cry out angrily. “What gives you the right of coming here and start talking to me? I hate you! Get that through your thick head.”

“No, that is so not obvious!” He replies sarcastically. “And this is a free country, I can talk to anyone I wish, even if it’s you.”

“Your unbelievable!” I say, my voice getting louder and louder by the second.

“Your unbearable!” He yells furiously, tearing at his hair.

“You’re a complete IDIOT!” I retort.

“You’re a crazed LUNATIC!” He barks.

I began to pull my wand out, as did he. Here we go again, I think wearily. But it’s kind of soothing, you know, familiar. But before we could make any further damage, James comes racing to us. There’s a look of annoyance on his face and he his still his pajamas, it doesn’t look like he has been sleeping.

“Oi, Padfoot, Danny!” He says irritably, stepping in between us. I glare at him. James Potter is totally ruining my chance at causing utter humiliation to Black.

“What?” Sirius and I say at the same time. We turn to each other and glare. Glare, as in how-dare- you –say- the- same- thing -as -me; you- are- not- even –fit- to- wipe –the- dirt off- my -shoes. Touché, I think to myself.

“What?” Sirius and James ask simultaneously, looking at me with interest and in Sirius’s case, disgust. What a moron.

“What?” I ask them, equally bewildered.

James shakes his head and Sirius smirks. James turns to Sirius and I finally realize James’s face is etched in worry. What I once thought was annoyance is concern and absolute anxiety. They whisper heatedly and I am unable to move. I am curious.

“No, Sirius, be serious Snape is going to get gravely injured or worse killed!” James sputters.

“That slimy git deserves it, Prongs and you know it, besides its hilarious.” Sirius says laughing. “ That git should know when not to put his greasy nose in other people’s business, especially Moony’s.”

“I don’t care,” James says defiantly. “ No one deserves to be tricked that way. I am going and if you decide not to come and help you’re two best friends, so be it.” His voice shakes and before I know it he runs out of the common room. And it strikes me; the Marauders friendship means everything to them. Everything, and for something to jeopardize their friendship so, must be grave.

“What’s going on?” I ask, bewildered. I know there is something wrong and I am deeply worried.

“Just some joke,” Sirius says. “Just a joke.”

“That sounds like a dangerous ‘joke’, if it involves somebody getting seriously injured or possibly killed.” I say snidely. “ And what about Remus, he’s Moony isn’t he, what in Merlin’s beard is going on?”

“I have to go, “ Sirius says talking to himself, ignoring me, “ Remus is in trouble, I have to do it for them. It’s all my fault. I told Snape.”

“Remus is in trouble?” I ask, my heart pounding in my chest. “Where is he? Can I help?” Whole bunch of questions are littering my brain and I am trying to figure it all out.

“No, it’s dangerous.” Sirius frowns. And I am thinking that is the absolute wrong thing to say to me. An adventure, I am totally willing.

“I’m going,” I say making sure he realizes that I am not going to be argued with.

“No, you’re NOT!” He practically yells at me. Everything about him right now is on the edge, like he’s going to tip over and explode.

“Yes, I AM!” I yell at him.

“Oh, stop acting like the hero Favriaani, “ He remarks distractedly. “You have no idea what’s happening, no idea.”

“I am going and that’s final.” I say and with that I quickly run up to the dormitory, scourging through all the junk on my bed, looking for my mitts, coat and hat.

“Argh,” I whisper in absolute fury. “ I am so cleaning my room when I get back!” Tossing a Witch’s weekly on the ground. Everybody is sleeping peacefully as I tip toe out of the dormitory to see Sirius slip out of the common room. Thoughts of getting caught after curfew are out of my mind as I follow him out the porthole.

“Black,” I call after him, trying to keep up with his long strides.

He turns around and motions me to come quickly. I, for once oblige to his request. He’s looking intensely at piece of old parchment but after closer inspection I see it’s a map of Hogwarts. It’s not any ordinary map in fact I see moving dots with names written above them. I look at the title, The Marauders Map.

“Amazing,” I breathe, looking at the map while trying to keep up with him.

Sirius ignores me as he draws breath; something on the map has bothered him. I grab the map off his hands, ignoring his objections. Three dots have made their way to the center of the school grounds, to the Whomping Willow. Remus appears to be in the tree and James and Snape are by the tree, moving frantically here and there.

“What does this mean?” I ask, fearing the answer.

“It means we are in trouble.” Sirius says and there’s a look of terror on his face. He turns his head to me, “Stay here, its too dangerous.” Concern is written on those beautiful blue eyes but they, I can see, are switching into that stormy gray.

“Here, take this for now,” He commands, thrusting the parchment in my hand. “ When you’re done, just tap the parchment with your wand and say ‘mischief managed’ and if you want to see the map again, say the words, ‘ I solemnly swear I am up to no good.’ Keep watch, give us a signal, we may need it.” He gives me one last fervent glance and pulls up his hood. I want to argue, I want to yell at him for treating me like a girl but I don’t, I just nod.

He disappears into the night and I swear I hear the sound of howling, hooves and barking. I struggle with the urge to run after him, but again I don’t and I survey the map. I see Sirius running toward them, quickly, too quick for a human, I observe. He runs toward Remus who has gotten ‘out’ of the tree while James leads Snape to the castle. Snape appears to be unconscious since he’s right on top of James dot. But I realize Sirius is being chased my Remus. I don’t know what’s going on but I have a bad feeling. I glance once more at the Map and make sure Filch isn’t in proximity. I tap the Map with the tip of my want and whisper, “ Mischief managed.” The parchment goes blank and I pocket it. I adjust my hat and mitts.

“I can do this, I can to this.” I mutter and mutter.

I take a deep breath and step out into the cold, winter night air. I walk into the snow, my pajamas instantly getting wet and terrible bitter cold seeps through my legs. I give out a gasp and I can see my breath in the night. I breathe in.

“I can do this, I can do this.” And with that I am running through the snow ignoring the slow numbness forming in my legs.

“Lumos,” I whisper taking my wand out being unable to see through all the darkness.

I hear barking in the distant and growling and, faint whimpering. The whimpering scares me the most and I can here the Whomping Willow and it’s branches cutting through the night air. As usual the tree is wild and dangerous. I’m scared for Sirius and Remus. I catch my breath, holding my wand high.

“Sirius!” I cry out in the night. “Remus!”

I turn around frantically, searching and before I know it I see a shadow of a body. My heart skips a beat, I run toward the body but a beast jumps in front of me. I curse and I see the wolf, a werewolf. Its’ gray fur is coated in snow, its yellow eyes piercing through me and it snarls. Its teeth are bared and saliva oozes out. The smell is horrendous and I lift my wand with shaking fingers.
“Don’t you dare,” I whisper threateningly.

Then something snaps in the wolf, and those yellow eyes bear something almost human. And then realization strikes me, Remus. My eyes widen.

“Remus?” I stutter backing away, my eyes darting to the figure next to Whomping Willow. “Please.” I beg.

The werewolf, Remus backs away, those yellow, unkind eyes are gone only to be replaced my honey brown ones, Remus. As soon as I see him disappear into the Whomping Willow I run savagely to the figure on the ground. The tree’s huge branches were slashing away preventing me from getting to that figure that I am suspecting is Sirius. I felt a huge slash on my arm and I cried out in pain. I ran in further, so close, so close.

Branches whip around me, throwing me here and there with me yelling obscene incantations. I was bleeding everywhere but there he was, there was the figure, Sirius.

“Sirius!” I cry, “Oh please, don’t be dead, don’t be dead.” I beg and I reach him. But it’s not Sirius it’s a dog, a black shaggy dog. I shake the animal; instinct is telling me that this dog is closely related to Sirius. There are claw marks on his fur, which makes me realize how dire my situation is.

“Wake up,” I whisper fiercely. “ Wake up.”

The dog just remains there, it’s breathing but hardly. I groan. Adventure? No way. I am so done with adventure.

“MOBILICORPUS!” I yell over the roar of the tree. The dog levitates. I breathe in deeply and I run blindly out of reach of the Whomping willow. I hover over the levitating dog, trying to protect him from the branches.

Oh marvelous, I think, I am dying to save a dog. The shame.

Pain is holding me back, I gasp for breath. I see an opening and sprint with the dog levitating in front of me. I hear the Whomping Willow behind me, swaying angrily, creaking with fury in its massiveness.

“Stupid tree,” I mutter before falling into blackness with the dog lying beside me. And the last thing I remember is seeing a long white beard hovering above me.

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Review PLEASE!!!!! Oh, yeah I did try making it longer hope it didn’t drag!


Chapter 16: Conversations
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It’s totally quiet as I lay there sleeping peacefully. My black hair surrounds me and I twist my head to get away from all the hair. I breathe in that sterile scent of the Hospital Wing making the hair in front of my face blow gently up. I am drifting into the lovely, comfortable action known as sleep. I roll my head on the other side of the bed and I have this eerie feeling that someone is watching me. I snap my eyes open.

And… there’s Sirius, handsome as ever gazing down at me. There are several bandages around his head and arms as well as a few scars and scratches on his face. His hair hides most of them but I can see those breath-taking eyes underneath it all. There’s no smirk on his face and he looks calm, concerned and relieved at the same time. Before I can ask why he’s looking at me, he states, “ Why did you save me?”

Yup, that’s all he asks after all this stupid commotion, “Why did you save me?” Oh, Merlin it’s obvious, I didn’t want him dead! Who else was I going to torment? I mean I am not that mean and selfish, really.

“Um… well let me think about that,” I say thoughtfully. “ Because I didn’t want you to DIE!”

“But you could have died,” He says, there’s curiosity and confusion in his tone. “ And you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” I lie, shaking my head and trying to get up. I let out a moan as I feel a sharp pain in my stomach.

Sirius immediately stands up and pushes me gently down by pressing his hands on my shoulders.

“Don’t strain yourself, relax.” He says as he fluffs my pillows. “ Need a glass of water?”

I ignore the question and gaze at him in surprise. Sirius must have bonked his head or something during our little ‘outing’. His he actually being kind to me? I must be dreaming. I am sure he pities me.

“Black,” I bark, irritated. “ You might want to get Madam Pomfrey to check your head. You’re being obscenely nice to me.”

He chuckles making him look even more gorgeous. His eyes get brighter and the light coming from the window lights up his features.

“You didn’t answer my question,” He points out bluntly.

“Which one?” I ask him.

“The one where I asked you why you saved me.” He says.


“I’ll answer that but first you have to answer some of my questions first.” I say.

He groans. Stupid boys.

“Fine.”

“You promise to be honest?” I ask, looking him straight in the eye. Midnight black meeting sky blue.

He searches my eyes imploringly and nods. This doesn’t satisfy me. I spit on my hand. Sirius looks at me in disgust.

“Spit on yours.” I demand.

“What?” He asks startled. He jumps up from the chair and backs away. “ There is no way I am doing that.”

I glare viscously at him.

“Fine,” I sigh tragically. “ But after all, I did save you’re life but if you can’t even do that simple thing, I’ll---”

“Fine!” He complies as he spits on his hand. He cringes as his saliva meets his hand. What a girl. I roll of eyes and stick my hand out. He scrunches up his nose and closes his eyes. We shake. He lets go quickly and rubs his hands on his robes as I do the same except I do it on the bed sheet.

“OK, back to business,” I cry out in a General voice. I salute. Sirius blinks. No sense of humor, I think to myself. “Anyway,” I continue, “ Are you an Animagus?”

He looks shock for a few minutes and flips his hair out of his eyes. One word, hot.

“Umm.. Well..” He says scratching his back bashfully.

“Answer the question,” I reply still in my General voice.

“Yes,” He answers.

“Illegal?”

“Yes.”

“Is this why they call you Pad--”

“Padfoot, yes.”
“Don’t interrupt me!” I cry out in mock rage.

“Sorry,” Sirius says hurriedly.

I suppress a smirk.

“Is a Remus a werewolf?” I ask. This time I am serious. This is the question I’ve been dying to ask.

Sirius suddenly looks uncomfortable. I already know the truth though.

“Never mind,” I say, “ That’s for Remus to tell me.” When he’s ready, I think, if. I don’t feel any different about Remus. The wolf inside him scares me a bit, but nothing big. I mean its still, calm, caring, Remus. I shake my head in spite of all that and I wonder how must it feel to have a beast living inside of you. How could he live like that? Bravery and courage, that’s how.

There’s an uncomfortable silence.

“Well, this is awkward.” I say bluntly which of course makes it not awkward at all.

He smiles and shakes his head. And I swear I hear him whisper, “ One of a kind.”

“Sirius?” I say. “ I saved you because well, maybe by saving you I could get rid of that guilty feeling I always get when I’m around you. Sure, you’ve been an absolute prick, self-obsessed, egocentric bully but I know now, you’ll sacrifice anything for friendship. You are Loyal, you care and you hide it with that pompous attitude of yours. Plus, this could work for my major advantage.” I say mischievously.

“I don’t hate you Sirius Black, not anymore at least. Two months I think is enough to get over the fact that you told my ‘secret’, it was my fault for telling you.”

“So are you saying you trust me now?” He asks almost hopefully, softly.

“No.” I say looking him in the eye. “ I don’t think I’ll ever trust you, not after what you did. I can’t.”

He frowns at me and I look away.

“Sirius? Don’t be mad.” I say, instinctively grabbing his hand. “ You have to understand.”

He shakes his head and he smiles.

“You called me Sirius.”

I take my hand away, glaring at him.

“Yeah, so? It’s your name isn’t it? Want me to call you Black again?” I don’t know why I am so offended by this.

“Oh, stop snapping at me, ‘Ella.” He says irritably.

“ Did you just tell me to stop ‘snapping? And did you just call me Ella? Because I clearly was not snapping and really where did ‘Ella come from? I hate it.”

“You were clearly ‘snapping’, and I can call you ‘Ella if I want too. Danny is so common.”

“Are you calling me common?” I flare up.

“Are you serious?” He asks incredulously.

“What are you talking about? You’re Sirius! I’m Danny! Have you’ve got amnesia?”

“What?” Sirius asks holding up his hands.

Amnesia A-M-N-E-S-I-A.” I spell out, losing my temper.

“I know that you--” He starts.

“You what?” I dare him.

“You…You…” And he bursts laughing.

I’m about to retort but then I laugh as well and it seems so stupid, so silly. Before I know we are both roaring with laughter and I am clutching the side of my stomach because its starting to ache.

“You should have seen your face…” Sirius gasps.

I hit him playfully on the shoulder.

“Ow!” He whines rubbing his arm. “You punch like a man!”

I laugh but then I start coughing. Pain racks my body.

“Water,” I breathe, reaching my hand out.

Sirius scrambles around filling a glass with a pitcher of water. He’s taking an awfully long time.

“Sirius!” I cough savagely.

“I’m coming,” He says through gritted teeth while handing me a glass of water. It spills everywhere. I glare at him. He smirks. I gulp the water down feeling instantly better.

“What is going on here?” I hear a voice from the doorway.

We spin around to the sight of Madame Pomfrey striding toward us. Her look is thunderous.

“Mister Black, go back to your bed this instant!” She yells. “ And Miss Favriaani what happened to your sheets? They’re soaking!”

“Spilled some water on them,” I mumble.

“Dear Lord, I’m gone for 20 minutes and you guys wreak havoc already.” She mutters to herself.

“Sorry Poppy,” Sirius says getting up and patting her on the shoulder. Madame Pomfrey blushes. Oh, Merlin not another one.

Madam Pomfrey rushes to and fro making sure Sirius and I are comfortable while reprimanding us for being so careless, swearing she had never seen a rowdier bunch of children in all her life. And I think its true. As soon as she leaves us to go to her office I feel instantly tired and drowsy.

I turn in my newly dried sheets and get ready for a calming deep sleep.

“Sweet dreams, Ella.” Sirius says playfully from across the room.

“Don’t call me that!” I snap.

“Whatever,” He whispers back.

Then I am falling into the wonderful realm of sleep.

“Whatever,” I sigh and I hear a faint chuckle before I fall asleep.

------*******--------

I sat nervously once again in Dumbledore’s office waiting. The silence was driving me absolutely mad. I squirmed in my chair pondering on why Dumbledore asked for my presence. I racked my brain trying to remember any misdeeds that I might have caused. To be honest, there were numerous. I pondered which one but before I could dig any deeper in my present situation, Dumbledore strode in quietly with a very disgruntled looking Severus Snape behind him. Snape glares coldly at me.
“Will you care to sit down Mister Snape?” Dumbledore says gesturing toward the seat next to mine.

Snape nods and sits. His black hair is as greasy as ever. As he sits there is an air of dejection or fear or tension. The slight droop of his shoulders are a clear example of that. The mysterious and elusive Severus Snape. My mind is in turmoil. Why is Snape here? Then something clicks in my head, like a light bulb. Remus. Hatred fills my very being. Snape knows.
Dumbledore notices my change of mood.

“I expect you know by now why you are here?” He says calmly as if remarking on the weather.

I nod, as does Snape. I glare at him.

“I am most certain that you know Mister Lupin?” He says gazing at us over his half-moon spectacles, his blue eyes grave.

We nod again.

“And if I am not correct you, Mister Potter, Mister Black and Mister Remus were outside after hours?”

We both nod again and I am feeling uncomfortable.

“Then you must know of Remus’s..” He hesitates finding the right words. “ Unique situation.”

“You might as well say it Professor,” I interrupt. “Remus is a werewolf and I frankly do not care. Remus is...wonderful… he’s kind, charming and I don’t think that wolf inside of him changes my perception of him.” I glance sharply at Snape.

“You see Professor, Black thought it would be particularly amusing if he told Snape that he knew where Remus goes every month. Snape being the prying git that he is, is unusually curious where Remus goes every month and obliges. It’s known in Gryffindor that Remus ‘visits his sick mother.’ I am assuming this is a lie, a cover up because Remus is a werewolf and I expect there is some passage or something in the Whomping Willow and he stays there during his transformations.” I breathe. “ Anyway James finds out of Black sick, mean plan and in a surprising rush of maturity warns Snape of the dangers and tries to lead him away. But I reckon it was too late and now here we are with the burden of an extremely dangerous secret.”

Snape inhales.

“Black tried to kill me Professor, he very well knew of the consequences and yet he persisted, if it was not for Potter I would be dead!” Snape cries out coldly.
“Yes but we all know Black is a stupid moron,” I say pointedly. “ You should know this Snape. Besides this is not about Black it’s about Remus and the big question, should we tell him we know? And most importantly are we going to be able to keep this secret? I know my answer.”

Dumbledore nods knowingly.

“You do realize you are never to mention this to anyone, anyone at all.”

I nod, I glance at Snape and he gives a hesitant nod.

“Good, good.” Dumbledore says briskly. “Questions will arise about you’re injuries and such and I presume you will not tell the truth but make up some obscene lie. I don’t approve of lying, but this is for Mister Lupin, we have gone to extreme lengths to make him attend our school so please, don’t ruin it for him.” I notice he is not talking to me.

“Now for you’re late night excursion 10 points off of Slytherin and 30 points off Gryffindor.” He says.

“What?” I ask reveling in the unfairness of it all, “But that’s not fair!” I blush deeply and realize how stupid and childish that sounded. Snape snickers meanly. I swear under my breath.

“As ridiculously clichéd and overused as it sounds, Life isn’t fair Miss Favriaani and you’ve got to work with what ever you have.”

I gape and he chuckles.

“Now if you excuse me Mister Snape and Miss Favriaani I would like to eat my incredibly tempting candy on my own and away from prying eyes.” He says.

As I am walking out I can’t help but think how odd our Headmaster is.

“Weird bloke isn’t he?” Snape says glumly.

“I suppose but then again that is who is he is and he is a genius no less.” I reply civilly.

“I suppose,” Snape, says disgruntled.

Silence fills the gaps and I can’t believe I’m walking side by side with Snape.

“Well, I’m gone.” I say indicating to the portrait of the fat lady.

“Bye Gryffindor,” He says while looking at me. Black eyes meeting. There’s actually emotion inside of those eyes and I feel stupid for hating him.

“Goodbye Slytherin,” I say masking my emotions.

I look at his retreating back and I shake my head, wondering how the world could be so cruel.

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Review please!



Chapter 17: Just Peachy
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Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter, never will. This amazing world of magic, i.e Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling! I own Danny, Charlie and Sebastian, though.
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The fire blazed merrily, casting shadows around the now deserted common room. The warmth emanating from the fireplace made an imaginary blanket that held me in its grasp. I glanced at the window to my left and watched as a blizzard raged on outside, creating a whirlpool of snow. I smile feeling safe and warm, thinking nothing could ruin my mood. But then again thoughts like that are just screaming for trouble so I banish them quickly. I pick up my guitar reveling in the feeling of the strings on my fingers and I begin to play. I close my eyes and lose myself to the music. Some people have passions, mine is music. Call me obsessed but its true. My fingers are moving on their own accord strumming an all too familiar tune. Way too familiar, my bedtime lullaby. The deep sound of the guitar rings out in the deserted common room. My mother’s similar midnight black eyes are staring at me. I continue picking at the guitar trying to get her away. I need to forget, need to play. I picked at the guitar ferociously the sound radiating a beautiful melody.

“Go away mother,” I whisper, “Please.”

A single teardrop rolls down my cheek. Look mother, I think, look at your daughter, crying yet again over the past, over you. Does that make you happy? Will you leave me alone? I snap my eyes open and she instantly goes away. I bury my face in my hands. Christmas. The mere word usually brings joy into some people’s lives; I was not one of those people. This happened every Christmas, I stayed at Hogwarts usually accompanied by my owl while my friends left to go to their perfect families. Oh they invited me of course, they always do but I can’t accept their offer. It’d be too painful for me, seeing them happy together just like a family should; I’d feel like an intruder. I shake my head and continue to play a song that I heard on the radio. It was a sad song, and I couldn’t remember the words but I strummed on and once again I close my eyes.

“Hey,” I hear a soft voice from behind me say.

I reach for my wand and whirl around, startled.

“Whoa, no need for violence, honestly,” Sirius says holding up his hands in a defensive manner.

“Oh,” I say pocketing my wand, “It’s you.”

“Well don’t sound so pleased,” Sirius says merrily. He jumps on the couch with absolute grace. I wonder at that blubbering fool. He sits causally at the other end of the couch and he turns to me with a mischievous smirk on his face. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.

“What?” I ask suspiciously.

“Oh nothing,” He hums gaily looking at the ceiling.

I roll my eyes and continue to play the guitar.

“Whatever,” I mumble.

“I got you a Christmas present!” He cries out loudly.

“Oh, really? What pray tell did you get me?” I ask humoring him, looking up while carefully putting my guitar back in its case.

“I found it at and I thought you might like it,” He says smiling innocently while handing me a medium sized box wrapped in Christmas Paper, St- Nick seems to be waving at me. This is totally unexpected; for God’s sake it’s the middle of the night. This is ludicrous, this is. But I smile at St-Nick nonetheless.

I grab the box from his hand and look at him wearily. It’s probably some kind of joke that will probably embarrass the crap out of me. I close my eyes and open it, preparing for the blow but I am greeted by nothing. I open my eyes and take a peek. I let out a gasp. It’s not a horrified gasp; mind you but a surprised, happy gasp.

“Holy shit,” I whisper, stunned.

I lift the contents of the box and I smile.

My converses. I want to launch myself at him for being so incredibly sweet but that would just lead to awkward questions. Oh, to hell with it. And I jump over to him, closing the distance between us and encircle my arms around his neck, still holding my pair of converses.

“Well this is new,” He says happily. “Happy Christmas ‘El.”

I smile warmly, letting go of him. I glance down at my converses, the checkered shoelaces are there, the messy scrawls of, ‘I heart RL’. I laugh openly.

“Happy Christmas Sirius,” I whisper. “But I didn’t get you anything.”

Guilt consumes me. But really why would I buy Sirius Black a present when all he does is torment me?

“That’s explainable.” He states. “Consider it my way of saying sorry, really sorry.”

He kneels down it front of me and I am thinking, what the hell? Converses do not equal marriage.

“El, will you forgive a stupid, arrogant, git like me for being rude, obnoxious and downright insane?” He pleads looking me in the eye. “ That would be my perfect Christmas present.”

I laugh at the cheesiness of it all.

“I will forgive you, you stupid, arrogant, git for being rude, obnoxious and downright insane if you promise not to mention my hug to anybody.”

He nods eagerly, like a puppy and takes my hand and I let go of my shoes. It’s so soft and warm and an instant bolt goes through my arm. My heart stops beating and its getting difficult to breathe. I find Sirius’s eyes and it locks. And I’m swimming in an endless sea of blue and gray. He rises from his knees so he’s level with my eyes. My mind is screaming for me to pull away but I can’t and I want this. He lifts my hands to his chest and the distance between us closes but are lips are not touching and our eyes are wide open, just staring. He’s so handsome while I am nothing close to a beauty. What does he see in me? He leans in so I can feel his breath on my neck. He smells like peppermint and leather and that’s all I think as he kisses me. His lips touch mine ever so softly, hesitant. It takes my breath away. A stray lock of his hair falls between us, swaying against my nose. It’s a breathtakingly slow sensual kiss, a lighting all my senses.

“Oh God,” I whisper against his lips. His gentleness surprises me. He strokes my hair as his tongue asks for passage in. His other hand sliding down at my waist, pulling me closer. My mind is screaming to stop and I finally oblige.

“Oh God,” I breathe standing up abruptly. Cold air greets me as I release from his embrace. He quickly stands up flipping his hair aside. He towers over me; questions arise in those blue and gray eyes that could read me with just a glance.

I literally run all the way to the girl’s dormitory my emotions in turmoil once again. I hear him behind me cursing as he tries to climb up the stairs. I slam the door to the girl’s dormitory and sink to the floor a hand over my lips. It burns.

Sirius Black is a moron, I remind myself. How on earth could I possibly have just kissed Sirius Black! How? Why? Huh? This is totally getting out of my control and I do not like it, not at all. I’m probably just one of his many ‘trophies’ that I’ll soon rot away in his head. Argh, how could I have been so stupid! So blind. I breathe deeply.

This is was inconceivable, inconceivable. I must be dreaming. I must. Oh, Merlin. Some Christmas I’m having isn’t it? Thoughts are running through my head but there is just one that scares me the most, I liked it. I liked it. I enjoyed the feeling of his lips on mine. I enjoyed it. Oh Merlin, somebody save me. I must be sick. I bring my hand to my forehead, its perfectly normal. I let out a groan. There has to be an excuse. There has to be one, Merlin there has to be one. I stand up and pace frantically. It could have been a spur of the moment thing? Yeah, that’s it…. spur of the moment. Because he was undoubtedly being sweet and he did get my favorite pair of converses back. I suppose it was a joyous thing, a sort of token of thanks. Yes, that’s what the…kiss…. was a token of thanks. That sounds good doesn’t it? Perfectly acceptable, really. I need my guitar now. I really do, but there might be a chance he’s still down there, brooding I expect. Can’t risk it. Oh, bloody hell I am hysterical, which can never mean a good thing. I just to need to lie low for a while. He will forget, this whole stupid thing will blow off. Right? Right.

I whip out beloved George from under my pillow and write. As Lily said, I need to let go of my emotions.

Beloved George,

Things have been quite hectic. I suppose hectic is an understatement here. Oh, bloody hell I’ll get write to the point!

Sirius Black kissed me! Yes, I will give you a minute to get over your apparent shock!
Ready? Yes, good. So I’m basically down there and he gives me my FAVORITE CONVERSES that I threw in the lake. I have no idea how he managed to recover them but he did and he gave them to me as a Christmas present! How insane is that? Um…really, really, really insane. I mean, I have always, to put it mildly, disliked Sirius, this you know from my previous entry but…. I don’t know… And then there’s Remus? What am I supposed to do with him? I can’t abandon him, he needs me! For crying out loud he’s a werewolf! Oh, I am so confused George.
Sirius Black bloody kissed me!
And the scary part is, I liked it! I enjoyed. Hell, I loved it. This is not a good thing! And now I am denied access to grab my guitar in the common room. Merlin, I can’t face him. The utter humiliation will haunt me forever. Am I being childish? I am aren’t I? I know what your thinking, I’m a Gryffindor, Gryffindor’s are supposed to be brave! Well, screw that for the time being.
I suppose you’re wondering what I did after he kissed me?
I ran. Plain and simple. I literally ran.
Argh, the torture this is causing me! I am alone with him for bloody two weeks! How am I going to hold out? How??????
The answer eludes me. Maybe I should bury myself in schoolwork? Maybe it’ll take my mind off of him. Pshh who am I kidding? Me, studying on a holiday? The mere idea is laughable.
Bloody, bloody, bloody Hell George, I think I may have landed myself in a sticky predicament! I am emotionally unstable at the moment. Crying here, laughing there, kissing there! Argh!!!!! This bloody sucks arse, seriously. Serious? Sirius? Oh man, oh man. What am I going to do??
This is going to be a long, stupid, lonely, idiotic Christmas holiday, George. Lonely indeed.

Love always,
Daniela Mia Benice Favriaani,
a.k.a. Danny (to my friends)
or El or Ella ( Sirius)

p.s its Christmas , you can figure the date on that I suppose George.
p.s.s I seem to have forgotten the time, its around 2ish in the morning, I know late!


I closed George feeling only a tad bit better. I’m not frantic and hysterical anymore, a big improvement. I stand up to put George in my trunk but I end up tripping over a broomstick.

“Damn,” I mutter trying to ignore the pain rising in my left toe. Great, I think, not only am I emotionally challenged, I have a black toe to show the world! Life couldn’t get anymore peachier.
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Hello, I have been updating like mad this week on account of the fact that I had no school for 2 days! WHOOP! But anyway, do you like it? I don’t know if it was a bit rushed but I betcha’ didn’t see that coming did you? On a less than pleasing note, I am not going to be updating in a week. I have been majorly procrastinating on this HUGE school project! So after a week or so, I’ll be up and writing again. Please leave a review and I will be eternally grateful! I’d just like to thank all my loyal reviewers and readers, you know who you are! I adore you guys!



Chapter 18: Snow angel
  [Printer Friendly Version of This Chapter]

I couldn’t sleep. And I guess it’s pretty understandable, seeing as how I kissed SIRIUS BLACK! Yes, I am still in shock. Though I am not sure if it was I that came onto him. Now that I think about it, he came on to me! That makes me wonder, you know? I mean what could a Mr. Popular like Sirius Black like or want from me? Sex, most likely. Argh, I don’t want to be that other girl he shagged last month. I want to matter. God, does that not sound absolutely cliché or what? And why do I care? Because I don’t. Oh, wow that was hypocritical. Let’s get this straight; I do not like Sirius Black, never will. Good, good. Now, I like Remus Lupin not Sirius Black. I repeat these words in my head over and over again until they are permanently planted in my brain.

I turn in my bed so I’m facing the large window.

“I like Remus Lupin and I will never ever, ever like Sirius Black, must resist Black’s charms, must resist his amazing snogging skills.” I whisper furiously to myself. In that moment I realize how much the tides have turned.


“Just promise me Charlie, as your best friend, please do not fall prey to Black’s charms and handsome features.” I say seriously

“He’ll slink his way up your heart, grab it, sleep with you, then he’ll stomp all over your heart.” Lily adds knowingly.

“Like a snake, sneakily and then he’ll lure you in and pounce,” I say, “Beware of Black.”


I shake my head and grin at the stupid irony of it all.

“Beware of Black!” I breathe before finally falling asleep to the sound of bells in the distance. And for once, Christmas seems like an exciting prospect.

***-----****

“Christmas presents!” I shout joyfully sitting up quickly, looking at the assortments of packages on the foot of my bed. I rubbed sleep from my eyes and greedily grabbed the nearest package wrapped in a horribly bright yellow wrapping paper. I squinted at the brightness and grabbed the card attached to it, averting my eyes from the present.

Dear gorgeous Danny,

I suppose you’re averting your gaze from that horribly bright wrapping paper, for that I’m sorry but it woke you up didn’t it? And I bet you a Galleon you opened my present first! See what a clever teddy bear I am? As well as sexy, gorgeous and you know the rest. We’ve been through it already. But anyway MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I invited you to my house, but once again I get rejected. Why do you reject me so? The pain. Just kidding, love, I understand and I sincerely hope you are going to have an amazing Christmas although I cannot even fathom what a Christmas is like without me. Hope you adore you’re present. It took me a bloody long while to find that! Also you must not be aggravated so by the notorious womanizer Sirius Black. Keep your cool, love and don’t let that weasel into you’re bed! You hear? Because he just might die a slow and painful death. We wouldn’t want that would we? Never mind, don’t even go there, I know that wild imagination of yours.

I love you!
Happy Christmas!
xoxoxox
Sebastian.


I let out a laugh. That wonderful idiot, only if he knew. I smile happily as I unwrap the hideous wrapping paper. I let a happy gasp.

“Score!” I cry happily as I gaze down on a whole pile of new guitar music. I eagerly reach down for my guitar but then I remember it’s in the common room. Damn. I shake my head and reach for the next present from Charlie.

Darling Danny,

What is there to say? Hmmm… I LOVE YOU AND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I think that’s a great way to start a letter don’t you agree? Big words, you know, I love you and Merry Christmas! Ok…. I’m done. But anyway, what’s up? Never mind, I already know you’re answer, “The ceiling!” Argh, God you are a loser. Hahahaha. Loser. But you know I love you anyway and I miss you’re loserish ways. How am I going to survive without you? And most importantly how on earth are you going to survive with Sirius? I know we kind of fell apart, you know Sirius and I, but I was hoping you could you know? Hint to him that I might still like him. Okay, calm down Danny I can already see you’re face filled with disgust. But just please, please check it out for me! I mean, he could be the one! Ask around and do try to be nice to him, really. Hope you enjoy you’re present!

You’ll need it, honestly! I think you’re old enough for it. Muhahaha

Lurve always, your bestest pal in the whole, wide universe!
xoxox
Charlie!

P.S I adore you’re present, that amazing sweater will come in handy!
P.S.S Lily says hi and that she adore her present as well. She’s listening too the CB, or something with a runman? Whoa muggle things are incredibly weird. Argh, she’s dancing. Got to go!


I stare with an open mouth at the stupid letter. I mean it’s really sweet and all but really, she needs to get over that git! What more when she finds out that Sirius kissed me! Drama much? I need to go and have a “chat” with Sirius! I unwrap the present carefully and a ton of makeup and vials plop on my bed. I pick one potion bottle carefully and read the label, “Instant hair straighter!” I pick out another one, “Instant curls!” I groan. Only Charlie would have the nerve to buy me makeup that I’ll never use. I place the makeup under my bed, where I expect them to rot away. It’s rude I know but makeup and I do not mix! Well, except for the Ball thing. But that was the first and last time. Period. I grab the letter on Lily’s present.

Dear Danny,

First of all, Happy Christmas! I wish you the best holiday because I love you and all. And blah, blah, blah, blah. Charlie is looking at this letter and reprimanding me for sounding so causal. I mean you did reject our offer and you could have had an amazing Christmas with us but no, you decide to stay at Hogwarts! Pshh! Just kidding I understand, I mean we understand. Geez, Charlie that hurt! But anyway I feel sorry for you. It could have been any guy but it had to be Sirius Black! Have a fun time with that stupid git. You’re just lucky James isn’t there. Then I’d just kidnap you and bring you here to the safety of my muggle home. Think about all the soap operas! Charlie is just staring at the television in amazement. Purebloods, they’re all the same. Whoa, did that not sound prejudice or what? Just kidding Charlie. I love you.

I hope you like my present better than Charlie’s. I warned her how you would probably hide it under you’re bed and let it rot, but she being stubborn Charlie, ignored me. Anyway I know you’ll like my present better, no doubt about that! I went to a muggle store so it’s pretty much your style.

Love always,
Lily

P.S Write back! You never do.


Lily’s present was the biggest by far. It was almost the size of my bed. I grab at the wrapping paper, ignoring the beautiful intricate designs as it lay in shreds around me. I laugh hysterically as I realize that it’s a snowboard complete with new boots, snow pants and jacket with hats and gloves. This must have been loads expensive! And I feel a cry coming on. Again.

“Wow Lily,” I say quietly and I quickly compose a letter with my messy chicken scrawl with the words thank you written about 2165764321321 times. I examine my snowboard and its smooth edges. It’s pure black with the word, “Witch” written on the back in shocking pink. I sigh contently and gaze at my presents. There’s nothing from my family and I don’t care, not anymore and all that matters to me is my friends and the wonderful things I already have. I impatiently put on my new snowboarding outfit and hold the snowboard over my shoulder as I walk down the staircase. It’s quite heavy. Must have taken at least five owls to deliver this.

“Thank you owls!” I cry jubilantly managing to bump the tip of the snowboard at the stonewall. This, however, doesn’t affect my mood. It’s Christmas! When I reach the common room I find my guitar is still resting peacefully next to the fireplace with my converses neatly tucked in the corner. There’s a note on my converses and I look it over quickly.

Meet me in the Great Hall

S


I crumple up the piece of paper and throw it against the wall. I cleverly stalk away heading directly outside, not bothering to go to the Great Hall. I’d eat later on. I walk down the corridors feeling particularly stuffy and warm in my gear. The hat on my head didn’t really help much as my hair kept getting in the way. I began jogging but then stopped because it just took too much out of me. The door’s leading to the outdoors were meters away and I found myself humming gaily.

Cool air, no scratch that, delightfully cold air greets me as I let out a huge sigh of relief. I adore the snow! I scan the grounds looking for a decent slope. There are a couple of bumps here and there but nothing actually good enough to snowboard on! I groan. Stupid! Argh! I plop on the ground, muttering curses. I grab my hat off my head and throw it on the cold ground angrily, it leaves an indent on the snow and I am reminded of snow angels. I fall backwards on the snow and spread my legs and arms apart moving them back and forth, trying to make it perfect. Impossible, but I try nonetheless.

“What is that?” I hear a scandalous voice say above me.

“A snow angel!” I snap, glaring at the sky above me, not bothering to get up. “ Go away.”

“I know it’s a snow angel.” He retorts. “ I meant that!” He points to the snowboard lying conspicuously on the white blanket of snow.

“That, Black,” I say, still trying to make an angel, “Is what we muggles call a snowboard.”

“A snowboard?” He says peering at me from above, as if he misheard me.

I roll my eyes.

“A snowboard.” I say slowly as if speaking to a child. Which if you think about it, he kind of is, a child I mean.

“I heard it was a snowboard but what does it do? Fly?” There’s a hint of something more in his voice, something I can’t name and I know it’s not just about the snowboard.

“It totally flies.” I say sarcastically.
“Okay Favriaani,” Black says and I notice his use of my surname. “What is your problem?”

“My problem?” I hiss, sitting straight up and looking up into his eyes. “You kissed me Black! My best friend likes you! I kiss you! Do you not see the problem?”

“Why are you making such a big deal out of that one kiss?” He glares. “If this helps you, I think it was a mistake.”

It feels like I’ve been punched. A mistake. That’s what I am. A mistake. I try hard to hide the hurt in my eyes. Did he not feel that jolt, did he not feel how his heartbeat raced as if on fire? The truth is, he did not. And I feel oddly sad, oddly disappointed, heartbroken. I’ve been nothing but his toy and anger suddenly fills me up. I’ve been a pawn, another flavor. Sirius Black is still the same womanizing moron.

I raise an eyebrow speculatively as if his last comment was nothing more than a statement of what we are eating for lunch.

“I agree, a mistake, that’s what I am. Always will be, I suppose.” And with that I hurriedly stand up and grab the snowboard from the ground with a grunt. It’s heavy. I walk away with it on my shoulder only to turn around.

“I never really got to thank you for the converses, thank you and Happy Christmas.” This time I leave but not before glancing at my snow angel. It’s perfect even after all the commotion. I smile and I am too engrossed on my snow angel that I don’t see the hurt in Sirius’s eyes.
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What say you? Good? Bad? Cheesy? Unexpected? You decide my lovely readers! Sorry for the delay in updating this chapter! Super busy! But thanks for waiting!


Chapter 19: Even the Best Fall Down Sometimes
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A/N: Song: Collide by Howie Day. He's practically my hero!

I want to be an owl, I think to myself. Quiet, beautiful in its simplicity, ever watchful. Plus you get to eat rodents, rats namely. I despise them and I think hearing their tiny bones crushing would be an utter delight. But strangely, ewww? I sink down onto the armchair nearest to the fireplace still in my gear, angry and frustrated at not finding a good enough slope. I spent several long hours outside levitating snow in a huge pile. But to no avail and Sirius’s explanation on our “mistaken” kiss is deeply troubling me. Besides, its Christmas I should be able to do something! I snatch my hat off my headd in one angry movement and I stomp on it. I do have a nasty temper. I jump up from the over stuffed armchair and hop up the stairs to the girls dormitory. I quickly change into my destroyed jeans and a ridiculously large sweatshirt with the words imprinted boldly, “ No supervision required.” Lily laughed insanely when she saw this. Charlie didn’t really get it. I didn’t feel embarrassed at all; I mean there’s hardly anybody to be humiliated by. So no worries. Sirius hardly counted, imbeciles don't count.

I hurried down the girl’s dormitory while lazily tying my long black hair in a messy side bun. I reached for my skateboard and quickly rode out of the porthole to the deserted corridor. I wanted to see the Great Hall in all its glory, meaning its Christmas glory. I raced faster and faster in my bear feet on the skateboard. Peeves rounded the corner, floating mischievously, looking bored. His wicked black eyes lit up as he spotted me cruising down the hall on my skateboard.

“Oh, Little Miss Odd riding on a platter with wheels. Little Miss Funny, Little Miss Hurt!” And with that he came soaring to me, waving an unusually large mistletoe. I screamed and fell backward off my skateboard. Just as he was about to crash into my face, he stopped abruptly and gave me a quick, wet, mocking kiss. I squirmed in horror and disgust. I wiped the spit on my cheek with the back of my hand.

“Peeves!” I cried out in anger. “Wait until the Baron hears about this!” I wave my fist in the air for effect.

He sticks his tongue out at me and floats away, in that evil way poltergeist do. I stand up from the ground, rubbing my head. I hear him cackling madly in the distance.

“Stupid Poltergeist!” I say to myself while hopping back on my skateboard only to be pushed off once again by an unruly dog, an unruly dog by the name of Sirius Black! Oh, I could kill him. I curse profusely and grab the dog in a tackle. It’s jet black fur is unexpectedly soft and smells like cinders and smoke, a musky smell. It growls at me in a supposed intimidating manner. I can only laugh at his supposed attempt to scare me.

“Oh, Snuffles!” I blurt out playfully giving him a nice pat on the head while standing up from the ground and brushing off imaginary dust from my clothes.

He growls at the ridiculous name I gave him.

“Oh, don’t look so put out Snuffles I think its rather cute.” I lie, smiling happily, mocking innocence. But the trouble is we both know that I’m not innocent, not at all.

He jumps on me with the agility of well… a dog and I fall back in surprise as I land once again on my back. My back is beginning to ache from all this falling. The dog pins me to the ground and I realize the enormity of the animal. I gulp. The dog’s eyes have a look of triumphant in them and Snuffles slowly transforms into Sirius. The black tufts of hair slowly being transformed into his pale unblemished skin leaving some on his hair, beautiful blue eyes emerge and pretty soon I’m losing my breath. God damn these raging hormones. He’s on top of me, his hands on my shoulders and he’s grinning at my uncomfortable position.

“Get off of me!” I say fiercely, squirming under him, trying to break free, not really wanting too. I know I’m terrible, Remus! With renewed vigor I try to break free again this time really wanting too but he’s strong, I kind of expected that.

“Feisty Favriaani?” He says devilishly, grinning like mad, showing off his dimples.

“I cannot believe you!” I lash out. “ Do you ever give up?”

He pretends to ponder at this question but we both know the answer, no. No he will never give up.

“I like your best friend!” I cry out trying in vain to instill some remorse in this clueless creature.

“I know that, I just want to have fun!” Sirius says with a raised eyebrow increasing his good looks. “Too much to ask maybe?”

I match his raised eyebrow.

“Fun? That is way to much to ask Black!” I say through gritted teeth.

He tsks and shakes his head making his long locks shake.

“You mistake me, Favriaani, I don’t mean my kind of fun,” he says winking, still pinning me down, “ I mean your muggle kind of fun. I’m dead bored and I fear I shall die of my lack of pranks but then again I would prefer a good shag any day.”

“Well, that’s a relief.” I say rolling my eyes. “ Would you kindly please get off me?” I’m trying for the polite mode perhaps he’ll let me go.

“Veering for polite hmm El?” Sirius says grinning.

Two can play this game.

“Veering for molester hmm Siri?”

He laughs at my silliness and I can’t help but grin. Fun is good right? No harm. Right? Well, it better be because I’m pretty sure I’m getting myself into something I’ll regret. I take this opportunity to fling myself upward. He’s taken aback by this and jumps off of me in alarm. Is it just me or did that last sentence seem…. wrong? Anyway I quickly jump to my feet from further molesters and I plant a smirk on my face.

“Surprise.” I say calmly.

“God damn woman.” He mutters sheepishly.

I wiggle my eyebrows. He’s looking at me quite oddly and I blush. I blush! Oh God, what has happened to me? I do not blush in the presence of an utter imbecile.

“Truce?” Sirius says suddenly becoming serious. “ Let’s try to be civil with one another for the two weeks?”

I gaped in utter shock. The Sex God of Hogwarts wants a truce? The vainest person I know wants to be civil toward me, an ugly, short odd girl? How incredibly…. incredibly… exciting!

“Truce?” I ask in disbelief. “ We can forget about everything?”

He gives me a look of caution, searching and I am regretting the foolishness of my question. You can’ forget everything, you can’t just forget; you can’t just leave everything behind.

“No, we’ll only forget for these two weeks and then when our little friends return, everything will be back as it should be.” He says. “You hating me, me hating you.”

I nod and lift my hand letting myself go, just for him and its so strange, to let go. Our hands meet in mid air and I am reminded of our kiss. His hand lays in mine a fraction longer and for that moment I forget to breathe.

“Truce,” I say not knowing what kind of doomed I had planted onto myself, not knowing that I would be hurting myself, not knowing, oblivious and I hated that.

-----*****------


The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah



I played my guitar, remembering one of my favorite songs and I began to sing, totally forgetting Sirius was sitting beside me reading a Quidditch book, totally forgetting about everything. But then Sirius snorted and laughed.

“Little bit too much for my virgin ears!” He chuckled looking up from his book. I shot him a quick glare, which clearly said Shut-Up-You-Egocentric-Maniac. I tried not to imagine Sirius with girls tangled up in him because it made me angry and I didn’t want to lose my temper, I had to control it.

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again


Sirius snorted once again at the lyrics and this time I didn’t even bother shooting him a glare, don’t tempt the imbecile I think furiously. Besides I was getting into my favorite part.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide


This shut him up and I sang because I loved it, because it was true. Don’t get me wrong, I do not think I am the best, but you just had to fall sooner or later and I had already fallen and I just needed to get back up. I glanced at Sirius and he looked at me in awe and his book lay forgotten, his attention was fully on me. It made me nervous.

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind


I saw Sirius in his compartment, the handsomest boy I had ever seen yet the with most arrogant personality and he was so confident, so sure of himself and I envied that.

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide


Then suddenly I see Sirius’s face coming closer, coming way too close and I promised this wouldn’t happen. I promised myself this wouldn’t happen. So I did the only thing possible, I ‘accidentally’ rammed my guitar at his side breaking the song, breaking what could have been. He let out a gasp of pain and surprise. I put on my remorse face.
“Oh, sorry it must have slipped.” I say mocking fake regret. “Oh, God I hope I didn’t ruin my strings.”

He looks at me in amazement.

“Who cares about your stupid strings, I have a bloody bruise on my side!” He says angrily and I know I am supposed to feel sorry or whatnot but I end up smiling like a lunatic.

“What in the name of Merlin are you smiling at?” He says spitefully while rubbing his side. Honestly, what a big baby.

“You,” I claim innocently.

He looks startled and then slowly his frown turns into a smile and I feel myself melting. But then I remember I couldn’t do this and I quickly looked away.

“Charlie really, really likes you,” I say hastily changing the subject, avoiding his eyes. So much for subtlety I say.

“Hmm?” Sirius says playing with the strings on the guitar making random tunes. His closeness is killing me.

“Yeah, she does and I thought you liked her?” I ask feigning eagerness.

He looks at my face, which is just inches from mine, so close I can feel his breath on my ugly face.

“You think I like her?” He whispers. I hate it when he whispers; he always manages to make me shiver in the most unnatural way.

“She’s beautiful.” I state and I refrain from saying, “like you.”

“Being beautiful isn’t everything to me El,” he says. “Do you think that?”

I think about lying to him but my mouth tells the total opposite.

“Yes.” I say quietly and the light mood vanishes to be replaced by an uncomfortable silence.

He clears his throat.

“Well you shouldn’t, beauty is overrated, believe me. It hides what people really are.” He says distantly. I wonder what he means and I wonder what’s going on through his mind.

“Do you miss your mother?” he asks randomly turning his big eyes toward me.
I look away from him.

“Yeah.” I say putting my guitar to the side and curling my legs to my chest.

“Was she…I mean…do you still think about her?” He asks cautiously.

I can only nod and hope against hope that through the darkness he won’t see my eyes filling up with tears. Mother, how I loved her, how I hated her, how I missed her.

“Was she like you? Strong?” He asks and I have half a mind to tell him to bugger off and mind his own business but this is about him as well, I didn’t want to hurt him.

“Me? Strong? No. My mother used to be strong, she used to be the best, she loved with all her heart, she wore her heart on her sleeve, she lived with everything she had, but then he came, and she struggled and then she fell. Even the best fall down sometimes, I suppose. But she never got back up and I promise myself that whenever I fall I’ll stand right back on my feet but its so hard Sirius, its so hard.” I turn to him and I fear tears are streaking down my face. I must look like a terrible fright.

He moves toward me and wraps his arms around me. I should be pushing him away but he’s so comforting and I feel so protected and secure, a feeling I’ve never had. I lay my head on his broad shoulder and I let it rest there while silent tears are rolling down my face. I always cry around him, he brings a different side of me, a softer side something people hardly see. His sweater is soaked but he doesn’t mind and he just strokes my hair, which had managed to be free of its side bun. He gets his fingers tangled up in the messiness of my longs tresses which makes me think, I should have brushed my hair. Suddenly I feel a pressure on the top of my head as he rests his cheek there. I find myself snuggling closer. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck boldly.

“You are strong.” He whispers as his hands rub my back easing all the tension away. “I’ll never let you fall, Danny, El. Never.”

I can only nod, not bothering to grimace at the cheesiness of it all because I want to believe him and I hang on to that, I hang on to his sincerity and I pray he won’t let me go. I don’t know how long we sat there curled up together and I lifted my head off his shoulders. The moonlight bounced off his dark curls, which made him look like an angel. He stares into my eyes and I wonder what I must look like, a monster more like.

“When do we stop pretending?” I ask questionably wiping away tears. “Pretending we’re happy, pretending?”

“Never,” He says bending his head to mine. I look up to be greeted by his large clear eyes, which have now turned an astounding light blue, exactly like the sky. His lips are hovering over my own and I close my eyes but just before our lips meet he gives a restrained sigh. I open my eyes to see him staring at our hands, which have managed to entwine themselves on their own. He takes them and holds them against his chest. I can feel muscles beneath the sweater. Sirius leans over and I think he’s going to kiss me but his lips don’t reach my own but my forehead, which might have been covered in spots but then he didn’t back away in disgust, so he must not have spotted them. Phew.

“Goodnight El.” He says quietly and then he detaches himself from me and slowly gets up. I find that he’s breathing heavily and I give a frown. He walks to the stairs with a tired walk. He stops at the bottom of the stairs, his back turned to me.

“You have a beautiful voice.” He says heavily and with that he scurries up the steps clutching his pajama bottoms and I wonder what in the name of Merlin is he doing clutching his crotch area.

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What was your favorite part of the chapter? I’m just curious. I admit there is a bit of fluff in here but hey; I live for moments like those. Leave a review? Thanks. :]]




Chapter 20: Love
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I was happy and that was all that mattered. I laughed delightedly as a wet; slightly squishy snowball flew into my face, splattering me with white snow. I patted the snowball in my left hand and smirked evilly. I pretended to be angry and I stormed to him, while hiding the now large snowball behind me. He backed away, confused at my supposed anger, although I do think he was pretending too. Just as I reached him I threw the snowball right smack in his face. Snow dotted his eyelashes, which reminded me, just how long they were. God, those eyelashes! He gasped as snow came into his mouth and spit it out sourly but then grinned as he realized what it truly was.

“Mmmm,” He says, “ Blueberry!”

I smile cheekily. What can I say? I’ve learned a couple of tricks here and there, okay fine, Lily taught me. I just want some credit every now and then, you know? Besides, I’m only using it to show off. That doesn’t really make it okay but one word, fit guy.

“Clever,” He says licking his mouth.

“I try.” I say smugly trying in vain to look away from his mouth.

But because of my horrible luck he notices and gives me his trademark smirk, that devil-may-care attitude appears on his face and to my incredible discomfort he begins to lick his lips and eye me saucily while twirling one of his long curls around his finger. He’s wearing a muggle hat, a beanie, which makes his hair flip out and I am surprised I haven’t melted on the spot. I self-consciously hit myself on the head for my absolute wrong thoughts! No, Danny, no! But unfortunately the hand I had slapped myself with was the one filled with snow and of course it splatters all over my face. I shriek. Sirius laughs. I give a low bow, and do some very fancy hand movement, managing to contain my blush.

“For your entertainment, mi lord!” I say salvaging myself or trying to at least.

“Well, jester I demand a kiss!” He says boldly and as usual with the usual bout of cockiness.

I scoff in spite of myself and brush the hair from my eyes. I tuck my hair behind my ears and cross my arms around my chest dubiously.

“Okay, going way too far Syphilis, really.” I arch my eyebrows.

“Worth a try,” He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. Everything must come so easily to this guy. Rejection doesn’t bother him at all, but then again, it’s me. What can I say? “And about the whole middle name thing, don’t say it.”

I laugh openly at this.

“Syphilis, Syphilis,” I taunt while slowly backing away. “What now Sir-Syphilis?” I open my arms wide. “What, what?”

He stares at me as if I am insane and I can’t believe I’m so at ease with him, so happy, so secure. Its weird. This is my enemy but why on earth do I feel so weak and giddy around him? Why all of a sudden? Why not years ago? Why am I losing myself? Why is my life spiraling out of control? This totally sucks ass. But before I can ponder at the meaning of my life I am being twirled around my Sirius. The world goes by me in a blur, colors swirl by me, but the one thing that remains clear is Sirius’s face and he’s laughing and I finally understand. I love, no I do not love Sirius Black, I simply love the ups and downs of it all. Surprises, I’ve learned to love him, them I mean. We stop twirling because I just might end up throwing up and I hold my stomach. Surprises.

“Are you okay?” He asks concerned. Quite charming. He cares or maybe he cares because I might just end up throwing up on his designer clothes. It would be fun if I did though, seeing his face and all. But I force these crazy thoughts out of my head.

“Do you ice skate?” I ask.

“No.” He says sheepishly.

“Well, what are we waiting for then?” I say excitedly pulling him along.

“But… I haven’t got skates!” I can sense a bit of panic in his voice. Sirius scared? Whoa, a first. I feel compelled to videotape this but I have a better idea!

“Wait just a moment Sirius!” I say but he moves, I get irritated. “Stay!” I roar.

He turns into a dog and sits while whimpering with puppy dog eyes. I have long mastered the art of ignoring the puppy dog eyes, I think furiously, closing my eyes but when I open them Sirius, Snuffles, is kneeling and whimpering.

“Oh, Snuffles,” I say kissing the dog on the head, ruffling his ears. “So cute!” I cry out.

He pants happily and licks my hands. I snatch them away.

“Okay Snuffles, once again way too far. You are cute but, no.” I say, wiping his drool on my pants. One word, Eerlack! It would have been totally fine if it was an ordinary dog but seeing how it’s Sirius and seeing as how he had just licked my bloody hand, its quite disgusting. Just think of it as Sirius licking my hand in human form.

I gave the dog one last meaningful look and bounded off in the snow, toward the castle. As soon as I reached the fat lady’s portrait and said the password hastily (Fuzzzing Whizbees) I hopped up the girl’s dormitory. Where the hell is it? I think frantically, as I fling the fourth pair of jeans I’ve seen on the ground. I look through Charlie’s things and find what I’m looking for, a camera. I grab my pair of skates and grab Lily’s pair as well and use an enlargement charm on them for Sirius large feet. With these new things gathered I soon found Sirius waiting patiently, only this time he was human again and he was leaning against the wall, one shoulder propped on the wall and the other in his pocket. He wasn’t looking at me but at the lake and while his attention was elsewhere I gazed at him in pure rapture. How can one being possess so much beauty? My breath caught, his scarlet scarf wrapped loosely on his neck, and his hat made his locks flip out at the ends, his gray eyes had now turned a clear gray, so clear that I could see them from far away. His tall figure let out a sigh and I thought it would be an excellent time for me to announce my presence.

“Got you skates!” I announce pleasantly, holding them up, trying to make him smile, trying to wipe that frown that formed on his face while I was gone.

“Danny, I told you I can’t skate!” He says looking at me, “One of the few things I can’t do!” He adds.

I roll my eyes and let out a sigh. This Quidditch player can’t skate? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

“Rubbish.” I reply and with that I drag him off toward the frozen lake, he didn’t have time to complain, not that he had any choice anyway. I quickly put on my skates and walked gingerly toward Sirius who appeared to me swearing manically, something on the lines of, stupid muggles laces, idiots and so on.

“Need help?” I offer, standing above him.

“No.” He says hastily, “I can do it on my own.”

I shrug and begin to walk away.

1…. 2…. 3…. 4….

“Fine, help me would you?” He says suddenly and I turn around grinning.

I bend down to his skates and tie them securely. He grunts and looks all haughty, ashamed that he needed help from me.

“Thanks,” He manages to choke out and speeds off onto the ice but as he reaches the ice he finds he can’t stop and he’s yelling for me to stop him. I laugh hysterically and grab the camera. I take a quick photo of Sirius yelling and falling and I put it over my head and skate quickly toward him.

“I hate skating!” He bites out furiously as I reach him; he’s lying on the ice with his arms crossed over his chest. I quickly take a picture of him, lying there on the ice, his hair sprawled on the ice and the pout that could melt anyone’s heart, well, except mine of course. Of course. The flash blinds him and he rubs his eyes furiously.
“What the bloody hell was that?” He fumes jumping up haughtily. There’s snow in his hair, it looks like dandruff.

“A camera!” I explain happily, showing it off.

He glares at it menacingly, and then proceeds to glare at me. The thanks I get, really.

“What are you doing with a bloody camera?” He asks still glaring at me suspiciously.

“Now, now Siri,” I say tersely. “Let’s not use such foul language.”

“Oh, cut the crap El’ you swear all the time.” He retorts.

I can’t argue with that so I shrug.

“Once again, what are you bloody doing with a camera? Besides the fact that you are obviously infatuated with me and want to hang pictures all over the girls dormitory to gaze at my loveliness.”

“Oh get over yourself!” I say. “ I’ll take pictures of you and sell it to the female population!”

He laughs at that and I smile slyly, slightly serious. Think of the money!

“No, I just want to remember this day!” I say innocently.

There’s an uncomfortable silence and I offer my hand out to him.

“Come on,” I say stiffly, “Let’s skate.”

The afternoon consisted with a lot of falls and bruises, not from me mind you, I’m a fairly good skater, Sirius was the one having a bit of trouble. He wasn’t lying when he said he couldn’t skate. I found myself using all my patience on him and his bad attitude. He, I find, does not like being less than inferior. He’s so determined to be the best, he’s a perfectionist and being his tutor, has its tolls.

“No! Your feet aren’t right. That’s why you keep falling, stop trying to do tricks, learn to actually skate first!” I sigh exasperatedly as I catch him from falling, again!

“I’m trying!” He says fiercely trying to push me away. He ends up losing his balance and falls flat on his bottom. I offer him my hand, he takes it and I’m flying inside.

“Stop trying so hard and don’t think about your feet, just glide!” I say, skating away from him gracefully. “Catch me if you can Sir-” But suddenly the ice cracks and I plunge into the sharp cold of water. It happens so quickly I don’t even utter a gasp of surprise. I’m submerged underwater and I feel myself going numb. I try swimming out to the surface but my legs aren’t strong enough to carry the weight of my cloak so I hasten to untie it, slowly losing breath, my lungs are on fire, I need air. I kick out furiously as the cloak drifts behind me. I lift my head to the surface and take a huge gulp of air but I’m struggling to stay afloat. I try scourging through my pockets for my wand, but I’m thrashing about and I give up. So this was how I was to die, I thought I’d die at the hands of Voldemort but dying in the great lake, taunting Sirius was definitely way at the bottom of ways I would die. I was giving up and I felt fatigue, numbness and myself slowly falling under. But before my head submerged under the icy water a pair of strong arms grabbed me around my arms and lifted me up. Sirius. I could hear him gasping as he laid me flat on the ice. I began shivering like mad. It was so cold. I couldn’t move. I wanted warmth.

“Don’t fall asleep El’” He whispers furiously. His voice was my refuge, my warmth, and I struggled to oblige to him. He took off his cloak and wrapped it around my shivering body. He lifted me up into his arms and I tucked my head into his stomach. I could feel his heart beating, it was racing while mine, mine was slowly going away. But Sirius would save me, I knew it and that’s what I thought as I fell into darkness.

----***-----

My body felt stiff and I vaguely wondered what I was doing here. No scratch that, where the hell am I? Then memories flooded into my deranged weak mind. Skating, cold, water, drowning,--

“Sirius!” I sit up suddenly.

“Well, I see your up, good thing too, you’ve been asleep for two days.” Madame Pomfrey says brusquely shoving me forcibly back down onto my pillows. That woman is very dedicated nevertheless I sit up quickly.

“Two days?” I ask, in shock.

“Yes Favriaani, two days, right frozen you were. Black hasn’t left your bedside yet, you have got him infatuated Favriaani.” She says.

I can only blush and hope this isn’t true.

“Yeah well, he’s just worried about me.” I say modestly.

“Yes, because he’s in love with you, the way he looks at you, you think he’d die without you.” She sighs while offering me a nasty concoction. “I remember when Ralph and I…” and before I could have suffered a long agonizing sob story containing Ralph and Pomfrey, Sirius came in running toward me a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Ella!” He cries. “I thought you might have died, you looked like it.”

I cross my arms over my chest.

“Well that’s comforting.” I say put out.

Madame Pomfrey clears her throat.

“Well I’ll leave you two alone, and Sirius darling don’t strain her. She’s not fully recovered yet.” She says looking over her shoulder.

As soon as she leaves a silence fills the room.

“I guess we’re even now.” I state.

“No.” He replies and I see bags underneath his eyes. “I owe you a lot more…” He looks down at his feet. He’s struggling to say something; I could almost see his brain whirring in contemplation. I think I may have an idea and I pray it isn’t true.

“Daniela you taught me something, no it wasn’t skating let’s not even get to that topic,” he says shyly. “You gave me something I thought I’d never find, thought that didn’t exist, something I’ve never experienced…” he pauses, “ you gave me the ability to love.”

“Well, that’s just dandy isn’t it?” I say nervously. “Why don’t you go and love a tree or something!”

Truth is, I know what he means and it scares me. I may have taught him how to ‘love’ but I haven’t taught myself. How can you love someone and not trust them? Love is an illusion, something we human beings want and crave. Love is like a shield to everything bad in the world, blinding you. I read about love, the way you look at them and feel content, the way they hold your hand and you feel infinite, the way you feel lost when they’re not with you, I know about these things. I’ve just never felt it. I don’t believe in it. Sure, I have liked people, more than necessary but it was never love, it was affection, it was a silly little schoolgirl crush, nothing more. Maybe I should give it a try but then I’d be afraid of ending like my mother and father. Love was a risk, a risk I wasn’t willing to take.

“I…I… love you.” That’s all Sirius says and I freeze. He says it so unbearably quiet that I think for just a moment think it was my imagination. But as I look up into Sirius eyes, his emotions are spilling out of them, his heart on the line. It was my choice; I held his fate, his heart. And all I wanted to do was drop it. I couldn’t though because Sirius meant so much more to me these last few weeks. I have a distinct feeling if I break his heart, I’d be breaking mine too. If this was love then it undoubtedly sucked! How many other girls would have died to be in position? A lot and I want to be anybody else at this moment.

“Sirius,” I start but he cuts me off.

“El’ you mean the world to me and when you fell…when you fell into the lake I thought that my world left me. You scared me so bad, I’ve never felt this way before and that scares me as well, but you know what’s even scarier not knowing your answer, not knowing how you feel about me.” He takes my hand. His blue eyes have turned a startling blue, his jaw is set and the devil-may-care attitude is gone to be replaced by a certain vulnerability.

“Sirius, I…I…. don’t know.” I say tears welling up in my eyes. “How can I love someone I don’t trust?”

He’s taken aback.

“I said I was sorry..” He stutters like a child. He runs fingers through his hair and I remember vaguely how it felt like.

“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough.” I whisper.

He tightens his hands around mine.

“What about our kiss? Didn’t you feel it?” He begs, questions arise in his eyes and I see his heart falling apart, shattering with every question he launches at me.

“It was a mistake,” I lie, voicing out what he had said to me. “I’m a mistake Sirius remember? I can’t love and I doubt whether you’re supposed feelings for me is love, lust after something you can’t have, but not love. You’ll ditch me Sirius after your bored. I know you, damn it the whole school knows you! Don’t say you love me unless you really, truly mean it because I might do something insane like believe you.” I lash out while my eyes are forcing tears down. “Just go away, forget about the truce, and let’s just go back to normal.” I say coldly, my heart breaking as I saw hurt in his eyes, his heart lay in shatters and what hurts more is that I did it. Not once has the word normal impacted me so, sadness and relief fill me up.

Sirius gives me a stony glare and stands up formally.

“Fine.” He says civilly. He begins to walk away but stops and for one crazy moment I think he’s going to come back, I don’t know whether to feel happy or sad. He turns around his eyes have gone a dark blue, his handsome face set.

“Here these belong to you. I won’t have further use of them.” He spoke and the tone of his voice made me feel so guilty. He handed me my camera and pictures. I looked down at them and before I could even murmur a thank you, he had gone. The pictures were of us, laughing and smiling. One picture caught my eye; we were both just staring at the camera, Sirius’s arm wrapped loosely around my shoulders. He was smirking into the camera and he looked so at ease so happy. I wasn’t looking at the camera but at Sirius with a disgruntled look. It caught our essence so clearly and as the photo slid from my hands, I felt that I had lost my world. I cried and this time there was nobody to comfort me. Nobody, and that’s what hurt the most.
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Aha, so Sirius finally confesses his love! What do you think? Please don't throw food at me.

Chapter 21: Midnight Flights
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Chapter 21
Midnight Flights


Being told by someone that they loved you usually fills most people up with joy, especially if that someone that told you they loved you is Sirius Black, then you’d probably die, therefore not being able to feel joy or anything for that matter. I, however, did not die, because yes, Sirius Black told me he loved me. So why may you ask am I not snogging him senseless but am instead talking to you about him? Because, I being the crazy, deranged girl that I am, rejected him when he told me he well…loved…. me and I undeniably broke his heart. How the tides have turned. Sirius is usually the one doing the breaking of hearts, now look at me, breaking his and mine as well.

But before I could ponder about that revolting thing called love, a pair of squealing girls threw me rudely off my feet. Those pair of squealing girls turned out to be my loony friends.

“Danny!” They squeal yet again to my incredible annoyance.

Normally, I would be absolutely thrilled to see them, being two weeks and all but there’s other, more serious, more random things going on in my head. I’ll give you three guesses, Sirius, Sirius and let me guess…. SIRIUS! Love and Sirius. Does that not work or what? How about, Danny + Sirius = Love? No? I thought so. How could Sirius love me? For Merlin sakes we’re so young, he’s so gorgeous, I’m so ugly. Stuff like this never happens to me, to Lily and Charlie maybe, but me? This is ludicrous, this is. But what about those feelings I get when I’m around him? What about that amazing kiss? What about that amazing night? Is that love?

“Earth to Danny!” I hear a voice say from far away.

I shake my head to be greeted by a waving hand in front of my face.

“Huh?” I say stupidly stepping out of my reverie.

“Danny, we were asking you about your holiday? Was it particularly terrible?” Lily says sympathetically.

I nod. “Absolutely!” I don’t think it would be wise for me to tell them about the incident at the lake, you know me drowning and all. It would only lead to awkward questions, something I wasn’t ready to deal with.

“That’s all?” Charlie says concerned, “ Absolutely? No rants or anything?”

“Absolutely!” I reply without thinking.

Charlie and Lily glance at each other, identical looks plastered on their faces.

“So how was your holiday? How was Petunia?” I say changing the subject, knowing those looks; after all, I am usually the one leading those glances.

“Horrible as always, she kept being incredibly rude to Charlie and have I mentioned that Petunia has a boyfriend?” Lily chatters. I gape. I’ve met Petunia and unlike her name she was the most self-centered, narrow-minded person I had met, horribly skinny, like a skeleton with skin, the whitest teeth and the most gossip type person. I intensely disliked her.

“A boyfriend?” I gasp. “ What kind of crazy bloke would like a prick like her?”

“He’s not really a bloke but more like a animal.” Lily says haughtily. “His name’s Vernon.”

“He resembles a very angry, purple pig.” Charlie pipes up. “Large bloke he is.”

Lily and I laugh at this. And for the time being everything seems back to normal. Of course Sirius has to walk by. He doesn’t acknowledge my existence. He walks over, avoiding my eyes.

“Have you ladies seen James?” He asks while ruffling his hair. Some Gryffindor girls looked over at us and glared at us jealously.

“He’s somewhere over there,” Lily says distractedly.

He rolls his eyes and glares.

“So helpful,” He mocks but then turns to Charlie, “ How was your holiday Charlie?”

Charlie blushes and Sirius smirks, still ignoring me.

“Amazing,” she breathes. I roll my eyes and tap my foot.

He whirls his head around and for the first time stares at me. Hate. Hurt. That’s all I see in him now. He doesn’t say anything more and while still staring at me, he kisses Charlie very lightly on the lips. I look away, feeling oddly hurt. Lily notices Sirius and I’s silent conversation and raises her eyebrows questionably. I try not to meet her eye and before she could interrogate me further, I’m walking away to find Remus.

“I’m going to look for Remus,” I say loudly, making sure Sirius can hear. Sirius doesn’t appear to care and I walk out of the portrait hole feeling low and hurt, really, really hurt. Lucky for me, I bump into Remus and I give him a big hug, because I need someone to hold on to.

“Remus.” I cry.

He gives me an awkward pat on the back but envelops me in a hug nonetheless. Remus, how could I have ever doubted him and before I know what the hell I’m doing I give him a light kiss on his lips, standing on my tip toes. He’s taken by surprise and to my surprise he kisses me back. I ignore the fact, that I don’t feel anything, no spark, no nothing but his lips are terribly soft and I find I can’t stop. But we end up stopping because the portrait swings open and Sirius steps out. A deadly look crosses his face as he sees Remus’s arms around mine, us kissing. He brushes past me, not looking at my eyes and for that brief moment his arms touch mine, it feels like I’m on fire.

“Come on Moony, James isn’t in there. Let the slut go.” He says harshly.

I turn on him, wand pointed straight at his face, I don’t care how good-looking he is, I’d blast him to smithereens. He takes his wand out as well, glaring. Our wands are pointed at each other. Remus gulps and steps between us.

“Stop it.” He announces boldly, looking at both of us accusingly.

“Remus move,” I say through gritted teeth, eyeing Black over his shoulder with pure loathing.

“No.” Remus states plainly.

I don’t care and I sent a hex at Sirius’s way, narrowly missing Remus who managed to duck just in time. Sirius roars in frustration and a blast of orange streaks by me, grazing my cheek. I feel blood. Remus is looking sick and looks at the cut on my face with longing, I hurriedly wipe it off with my sleeve. Sirius takes this opportunity to knock me off my feet and I find myself thrown backwards. I hit the ground with a thud but I stand up quickly, ignoring the pain. I sent a spell at him, which caused him to sprout leaves through his ears. But before Black can react both our wands fly out of our hands. We turn simultaneously to be greeted by our less than pleased friends. Remus is looking disappointed our wands in his hands. James for the first time doesn’t look amused at all. Peter looks at us curiously and Lily and Charlie are gasping at my injuries and bruises.

“What the bloody Hell do you two think your doing?” James bites out furiously.

We don’t answer but there’s a bubble of shame flooding inside me.

“It’s our first day back from the Christmas holidays and you guys have already ruined it!” James says ruffling his hair. “ You’d think these last two weeks we’ve been gone, you guys would have thrown away your differences. It seems like I’ve been wrong.”

“It’s complicated,” I say quietly and push past the lot of them, not knowing where I was going, all I knew was that I had to get out of here before I would burst. I wipe away the blood off my cheek; it was mingled with tears I hadn’t even known had fallen, as I walked outside. I suddenly got a crazy, mad idea and I quickened my pace toward the Quidditch pitch. I quickly unlocked the broom shed with a quick, “Alohamora” and grabbed the first broom I spotted. I hopped on and reckless rage went through me. I’ve never been much of a flyer, in fact I was dead frightened of heights but I quickly banished thoughts of phobia from my mind as I take off into the sky.

And…
I’ve never felt so alive. I look up at the black sky, the moon shining down on me. I didn’t care if they caught me after curfew, expel me fine but right now all I needed was an escape. Flying was it, for now. I was the usual commentator for the match, definitely not a player but now as I flew up into the air, the wind in my face I had second thoughts. But no, I soon found all my worries escaping me, all thoughts gone and all that mattered was whether I could reach the stars. I smiled and did loops in the air without even thinking. It was then I heard a gasp. I looked down and saw Remus staring at me from down below. I glided down and met him, not knowing whether I should smile or worry if he would report me, him being a prefect and all.

“Hey,” I whisper shyly.

“Hey,” He says just as quietly.

“Want to fly?” I ask him innocently. “ I swear it feels amazing.”

He looks startled at my question but I give a reassuring smile.

“Sure.” He replies. “ You want let me fall will you?”

I smile cheekily and give a mysterious shrug. He laughs and jumps on the broom with ease. He must have ridden a broom before. He encircles his arms around my waist and I find we are flying over the Quidditch pitch and over the lake and Whomping Willow.

“I know Remus.” I say quietly, the Whomping Willow below us, lashing about.

The wind in our faces, his arm around me and I swear I feel infinite, undefeatable. I feel Remus’s hands tighten around my waist. I imagine his face getting pale.

“Know what?” He says feigning obliviousness.

“You’re a werewolf.” I say simply, maneuvering the broom in the direction of the mountains.

There’s a deafening silence.

“How do you know?” He says quietly, I hear a bit of panic in his voice.

“Before the Christmas holidays I saw you, I recognized you even if you were a werewolf then. It was your eyes; your eyes were far too kind for a werewolf. Sirius was injured and I saved him. Don’t you remember?” I ask him.

“No.” He says painfully. “I try to forget.”

I can only nod.

“I understand if you don’t want to associate yourself with me.” He sighs.

I laugh at this.

“Are you kidding me? I would rather die than not be with you. You’re a great friend, an amazing kisser,” this got Remus to chuckle shyly, “ the kindest, most sincere person I’ve ever met. I would gladly associate myself with you, you prick.” I say looking back at him quickly.

“You have no idea how much this means to me.” He says, “ You have no idea Danny but I can’t risk our friendship by us,” he gulps, “being together, you know…more than friends.”

I freeze.

“You mean us being just friends?” I ask him cautiously.

I can feel him nod behind me. I don’t feel hurt at all but a strange relief.

“I understand.” I say kindly as I let the broom graze the water, our feet getting wet.

He laughs and bends down and sprays me with water. I shriek.

“You want us to plunge head long into the water eh?” I say feigning anger and I dive the broom a little.

He gasps but I turn up just before my face touches the water.

“You could give James a run for his money.” I hear Remus say breathlessly.

“Nah.” I say modestly. “James is amazing. Don’t tell him I said that though, don’t want his head exploding.”

Remus chuckles.

“We wouldn’t want that.” He says and then pauses. “ Are you sure you understand?”

I nod and laugh.

“Remus you’re going to make one girl incredibly happy.” I say sincerely as we both glide back to the Quidditch pitch.

He just shrugs and he hops off the broom with grace and gives me his hand. I take it and we walk to the castle in silence, a comfortable silence and I feel content. I lace my fingers through his and give them a squeeze.

“Thanks.” I whisper looking up at him.

“No, thank you Danny.” He replies with a small smile and with that he gives me a chaste kiss on my forehead.

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Awwww…See the Remus problem is fixed! But will Charlie and Sirius get together and break Danny’s heart? Dun Dun Dun….
Review please!



Chapter 22: Insignificant Details
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Chapter 22
Insignificant Details


I always imagined myself living alone in some rural town in England, doing my own thing, becoming a rock star. All that good stuff but now, now I don’t know. Can I see myself living like a family, with kids all my own, happily with a husband? Okay, I know I am getting way too far with these ‘future’ thoughts but now I’m wondering. Because I have concluded I am insane. Usually people who get told by a certain someone that they love you fill most people with an unrequited joy. Me, I get scared and don’t return the love. Typical. I am particularly insane because I rejected the handsome, most sought after guy in Hogwarts, Sirius Black. Of course Charlie and Lily have no idea what Sirius and I have been up to while they were gone. Sirius and I didn’t do anything after the “mistaken kiss” just you know skated and drowned. I think it was pretty much an uneventful Christmas. These random absurd thoughts ran through my head as I walked with them to Transfiguration. I was not myself according to them. They were bickering over my ‘break up’ with Remus.

“But you were perfect for each other!” They had cried after I had promptly told them.

Perfect. What a dull word. Nothing is prefect, not love, not he, not Remus and I, nothing. I had become rather quiet with these thoughts. In fact I didn’t know what to think of anymore. I was lost and it had begun to show. I was incapable of love, which was what I tried to tell myself, incapable. I didn’t even know why I was still thinking about the stupid subject maybe seeing Sirius with Charlie reminded me of what I could have had.

That fool had gotten over me quickly; there was doubt about that. Yet, here I was the one who rejected him still pondering about it all while he, he wormed his way up to my best friend’s heart. Their endless snogging hurt me, although I wouldn’t let that on. I always walked away with a defiant air to me, Charlie never noticed.

“Favriaani!” I hear a voice snap from ahead. It was McGonagall, her face livid. I snapped back to my senses and found that I was still at the door standing stupidly while the rest of class was sitting down. There were a few snickers and I woe, upon woes blushed madly. Lily hit her head in exasperation.

“Sorry.” I mumble while looking at my shoes. I wasn’t wearing my converses. I walk toward a seat in the corner and sit silently. Normally I don’t abide to a teacher like that, I usually come up with a cheeky comment that annoys the teachers to great amends and I certainly do not sit away from my friends. It was inconceivable. But as I sat there, trying to ignore the stares, I thought on how just three words can change me. I. Love. You. Destroy me. God, I hated him for saying those words, those dangerous words. I hated myself for believing him. I cast a quick glance at him from across the room. Lily was looking at me questioningly; Remus and James were doing the same. Sirius, however fiddled with Charlie’s hair and whispered into her ear, making her giggle. I looked away and immersed myself in the endless, pointless droning about Animagus.

Although I couldn’t see the Marauders, I could imagine the smirks they gave each other as McGonagall explained the dangers of becoming an Animagus, how it was illegal if you were not registered and there were only a handful in this century. A handful plus three more, I thought glumly. I listened intently, pushing thoughts concerning Sirius from my mind. I have never ever concentrated more in Transfiguration than I did then. So when McGonagall told us to change our hair color, I was the first to succeed. A stunned silence greeted my victory.

McGonagall was flabbergasted. I felt the same.

“Twenty points to Gryffindor.” McGonagall says hesitantly, eyeing my now brown hair.

I nod and then proceed to change it back to its original color. The class stares at me in amazement and I walk quietly back to my seat.

After the lesson, I hear McGonagall call my name. I turn around my book bag hanging loosely at my side.

“A word.” She says formally.

Lily and Charlie look at me cautiously but I give them a nod and they walk off, glancing worriedly at me.

“Are you feeling all right?” She says quite bluntly.

I am taken aback. Of course I’m fine, I rejected Sirius Black, who I think I might possibly have feelings for, who is now dating my best friend, I have an abusive father, I almost died, of course I’m fine.

“Quite fine.” I reply politely, although my insides are churning with dislike at the moment. I know she cares, but she doesn’t need to meddle in my private business.

“Because if not I dare say you should go to the Hospital Wing, you after all are recovering from your accident.” She says the word accident hesitantly as if I am such a frail creature.

“I’m fine.” I snap, losing my temper. I am strong and a stupid plunge in the stupid lake isn’t going to affect me.

She gives me a cold look and I instantly regret snapping. Her lip tightens into a devastatingly thin line and I wonder where on her earth did her lips go. Quite rude of me really.

“Very well,” She says gathering her things, “But it certainly won’t be my fault if you drop dead in the middle of the corridor.” And with that she strides out of classroom leaving me there feeling guilty and low.

I sit in a desk and lay my head on the table, covering my head with my arms. I groan. I close my eyes. But before I can even recollect myself my friends are there beside me.
The boys were wary, keeping away as Charlie and Lily came to me and comforted me.
I look up and realize Sirius is there looking bored, arms crossed over his chest a scowl etched on his face.

“What is he doing here?” I ask loudly pointing to Sirius.

He smirks at me and I want to strangle him.

“What are you doing here crying?” He says spitefully. I stand up and clench my fist. Anger is rushing through me.

“I was not crying.” I say dangerously.

“Well, seeing as how you were huddled in a desk, looking defeated I have every right to think you were crying,” He says disdainfully. “ I wasn’t surprised, it was expected.”

I start at him, glaring viciously.

“Are you calling me weak Black?” I say quietly.

“I never said you were weak but you seem to think so, although I do not have any objections.” He smirks.

“You are strong. I’ll never let you fall, Danny, El. Never.”

“Liar,” I whisper hoarsely. “ I fell Black, are you going to be there to catch me?”

I bring my fist upward and it collides with his jaw. Lily screams and pulls me away from him but I don’t intend on hitting him anymore. I glare coldly at him.

“I hate people who can’t keep promises.” I say and I start walk away but not before I see a look of shame in his eyes. His mask comes undone if only for a second.

“I saved your life Favriaani.” He shouts after me as if to make me feel guilty.

I whirl around and glare at him.

“Perhaps,” I remark coldly. “But you didn’t do it for me, you did it so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You didn’t mean what you said to me after you saved me. You lie Black, you break promises, and you break hearts.”

He’s too flabbergasted to speak.

“Me? Break hearts?” He says incredulously, “You of all people to say that to me!”

Charlie and Lily break in looking thoroughly confused.

“What do you mean he saved your life, Danny?” They ask simultaneously.

I open my mouth then close it but Sirius and his stupid arrogant self decides to answer for me.

“You see, Favriaani and I were ice-skating, she was teaching me how to skate and such and she just fell into the ice and would have drowned and died if I had not saved her, risking my life in the process.” He says to them, them being Charlie, Lily and the rest of his cronies.

“Oh, save the heroic stories for the classroom,” I say to Sirius sardonically.

“You still haven’t changed your mind then?” He asks all of a sudden.

“Change my mind about what?” I reply becoming irritated with his mood swings.

“About me loving you!” He roars in frustration.

I mumble and look at my shoes. There’s a collective gasp and I cringe in spite of it.

“You don’t love me Black, you never did. It was lust, a lust for something you can’t have, but not love.” I spit out angrily. “Stop trying to make feel guilty, stop trying to make me believe you. I almost did and now I’m confused. Stop… okay…just stop.”

“Why do you always run away from something you want El’?” He says stepping toward me. I quickly step back, my heart racing.

“I don’t run and what in the bloody hell makes you think I want you?” I say glaring daggers at him. “All you do is hurt me.”

“I told you I was sorry.” He cries exasperatedly.

“Once again you dim-witted gorilla, sorry doesn’t cut it.” I say clenching my fist. He notices and looks at me hesitantly.

“Don’t hurt me Danny.” He says.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I whisper threateningly. “ You hurt me all the time.”

“You hurt me one hundred times more, woman!” He says in alarm. I believe him.

“Fine! I’m sorry! Sorry for hurting you.” I say flinging my arms about. “Happy?”
“No.” He says simply.

And with that I snapped and slap him hard on the face. I walk out fuming. Who was he to deny my apology? It’s not my fault I don’t have feeling for the ass hole. He can’t force me. Never. I walk away while Charlie, Lily and Sebastian come rushing after me.

“You should’ve have not done that.” Seb says gazing at me wearily.

I don’t answer. I don’t care. I just want to go. Silence.

“He told me he loved me.” I bite out savagely hoping he’d understand, hoping that Charlie would understand.

“Why?” Charlie asks simply.

I am too shocked to answer the question partly because I have no clue why he loves me and partly because the question takes me off guard.

“What do you mean, why?” I say fuming, “How am I supposed to know what goes on in the mind of the womanizer Sirius Black!”

He probably just said those words to get me to sleep with me. I feel ashamed for believing him so. But that look in his eyes when he told me, that look could not have been just a way for me to sleep with him. Maybe he did truly love me but if he did truly love me why was he with Charlie? So many but’s and why’s it all get so confusing.

“I believe he really loves you.” Sebastian says all wise and what not.

“Bull.” I say but my heart is not in it. “I don’t even know what love is.”

I gaze at Charlie. She walks ahead, her head bent low. I start to rush to her, tell her I don’t feel anything for Sirius, try to make her believe. I can’t however, because Lily is holding my shoulder and looking at me in a disappointed manner. I feel ashamed. She runs after Charlie and I am alone with Sebastian. I start toward them but a voice stops me. Sebastian.

“Leave it. Let her cool off.” He says.

I open my mouth then close it and nod miserably.

“I’m a horrible friend.” I say dejectedly. I feel tears coming on.

“No, an amazing friend who rejected Sirius for her best friend. Risked letting go of love for friendship.” He says putting an arm around my shoulder. I lean on him and shake my head.

“There it is again!” I cry out in frustration. “ Love. What a stupid, confusing emotion. What the hell is love anyway? Who does love think it is, barging into people’s lives and making it miserable and utterly confusing!”

“Darling, love is different for everybody. Unique for every individual..” He says all knowingly. I want to slap him. I am in a very violent mood.

I roll my eyes. Seb notices and grins.

“ Love is a indescribable feeling, Danny, and only you can tell if it’s really love.” He says.

In spite of it all I grin up at him.

“You’re terribly romantic,” I state.

He shrugs and smiles. We near the portrait hole but I excuse myself so I can “think.” I had to keep from laughing my head off when I told him. Me? Thinking time? The mere idea is comical.

I walk over to the lake, a book in hand and find a large tree to sit under. A good book would help. I bathed in the peace, tranquility, the whiteness of the snow and --- a deafening bark!?

I look up from my book and find a large, black dog in front of me. I ignore him and proceed to read. Perhaps the ‘silent treatment’ would get this stupid animal to go. After all we girls are particularly brilliant when it comes to that. He doesn’t leave. I ignore him and continue to read. He’s an insignificant detail in the background and I try with my entire mind to believe it. An insignificant detail.

I furrow my eyebrows in concentration. Out of the corner of my eye I see him change into a human. I look up and glare at him openly, ignoring his dashing good looks. He’s sporting a purple bruise on his left eye. I can’t help but cringe at the memory and my rash act.

“You shouldn’t change like that in broad daylight.” I hiss.

“Who are you to tell me what to do?” He hisses back but then sighs and runs his fingers through his shoulder length black hair. “Look I didn’t come here to fight with you, I came here to say sorry.”

I look at him dubiously.

“There’s nothing to apologize for.” I say brushing the subject away, trying to avoid the whole sorry-isn’t- good- enough crap. “I should be the one doing the apologizing around here.” I say pointing to his purple rather larger eye. “Sorry.”

I say all this in a monotonous tone. Emotion, what a weakness to have; yet we are all prone to it.

“No, Danny I’m sorry.” He says edging closer to me. “ I let you fall when I promised I wouldn’t.”

My book abandoned, my heart wrenching, I look up into his beautiful gray-blue eyes.

“Your not weak, your strong,” He says crossing his legs and sitting opposite from me. “Stronger than I can ever hope to be.”

I remain emotionless but my heart is beating like crazy.

“I trusted you.” I say quietly hugging my legs to my chest.

“I know and I betrayed you.” He says wistfully. “I understand why you hate me.”

He expects me to deny it, expects me to say, no I don’t hate you. But I can’t because I would be lying to him and myself. That would be the biggest deception of all. I can feel it, the change in the atmosphere, a sense of dread. I feel tears form in my eyes. Not again. I shake my head.

“Sirius please...” I beg. “Don’t make me say something I’ll regret.”

He looks at me and sits at my side. He wraps his arms around me. I tense up but I slowly sink into his embrace. So safe in the arms of my enemy, so safe in the arms of a liar, so safe in the arms of a man who loves me, loved me. I let all resolve fade away and let the tears fall freely. I don’t make any noise but let the eerie quiet of Hogwarts surround us. Sirius Black is the only one who can make me cry and the only one who could make me stop.

“Don’t cry.” He whispers lifting my chin so I’m looking him directly in the eye. A command. He wipes away the tears on my face. A simple gesture from an amazing being. I burn at his touch and flinch ever so slightly.

“Sirius?” I ask tentatively.

“Yeah?” He says stroking my hair.

“Why do you care about me?” I whisper against his chest.

“Because I need you.” He says. I don’t even know if this is an answer or a statement but it satisfies me and I lean on his shoulder.

“You’re a fool for needing me.” I whisper and I close my eyes and fall asleep.

----------------------------------------

What do you think? I give up with making heartfelt, cry on my shoulder moments. I suck at them. I tried. Sorry. But anyway tell me how I did and if I need any improvements! Review? Yeah? Thanks. :]]


Chapter 23: My Life As I Know It?
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The wind gently blew his hair making it falter in the wind. I longed to know what went on in the mind of the devilish Sirius Black. He held so many secrets and I wanted to know every little, minuscule detail.

Yes, I had realized that I loved Sirius Black.

Perhaps it was the never-ending feeling of security in his arms. Perhaps I longed for that one thing that would never change. Sirius would never change. He was radiant, he was a savior, he was a Marauder. I loved him.

I rested my head on his stomach and looked up at the stars. I listened to his breathing, the steady rise and fall of his stomach. As stupid as it sounds I wanted this to last forever. I felt like a silly schoolgirl, which I probably was, for wanting something so unreachable. I felt so happy in his arms, his presence. I didn’t want to feel like this, however, because I was strong, independent. The only person I relied on was myself. It was too dangerous to depend on another being. To give and to let go. A risk. But maybe he was worth that… Maybe.

He stirred. His arms wound its way around my waist. I guess that was when realization struck. Cold, hard realization.

Charlie. How she would hate me if she found out that I actually loved Sirius, which still even remained a mystery to me until the moment I fell asleep on Sirius’s shoulder. I couldn’t do this. Charlie adored Sirius. I couldn’t do it to Charlie. Friendship. Argh…
All this loyal Gryffindor crap.

Crap.

Crap.

Damn good morals. Damn it all. I made to get up but Sirius’s arm around my waist tightened. I looked over at him. He was grinning sleepily.

“We have to go back to the common room.” I say briskly, prying his arms off of me. I stand up and give him my hand. He takes it and pulls me downward. I topple over and land on him with a loud, “Oof.”

He laughs that bark like laugh of his. I can only glare.

“Oh, don’t look so downcast about it, you know you want it.” He says wiggling his eyebrows.

I punch his shoulder playfully and get up. Sirius looks disappointed.

“Have you thought about it?” He asks standing up.

I ignore the question and the lump in my throat. I quickly stand up and begin walking toward the castle. Oh, man there was going to be hell to pay if they found us sneaking out of hours. I groaned inwardly and cursed myself at my utter stupidity. People would make assumptions if they found out. Imagine the rumors. I shake my head. But Sirius takes this the wrong way.

“You haven’t thought about it then?” He says accusingly.

“Erm…what?” I say stupidly, “I wasn’t paying attention.”

Sirius looks at me oddly and grabs my wrist.

“Hey---” I say startled but before I can utter my cries of indignation his lips are on mine and I am but a mere rag doll in his hands. The powers of Sirius Black. The heat rises and I feel shock coursing through my veins and the only thing I can do is kiss him back. His lips are so soft, filled with passion. I feel all his emotions in that one kiss. I break away and look him directly in the eye.

“I figured out something.” I whisper.

“Hmm?” He says pressing his forehead to mine.

“You’re an absolute git.” I say sincerely. “ An absolute git whom I may just have a tiny bit of feelings for.”

“Well…sorry,” He says sarcastically but then stops, “What did you say?”

I laugh at this.

“I think I may, possibly, maybe, most likely…” I say teasing him.

Sirius rolls his eyes and looks at me expectantly.

“Oh, screw this,” I cry. “I care for you, one might say love but I am so tired of that word.”

I shrug and feel myself blush. I quickly look down and refuse to lift them to meet his piercing eyes. I should not have said that, should not have said that! I am an absolute mess. He cups my chin in his hands and lifts my head so I am meeting his eyes. I want to melt. To die. To sink in the ground and run away screaming. I don’t think this is normal. But then again its love right? Unique for everybody?

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” Sirius chuckles and he’s grinning so happily that he makes me smile and I get his sudden rush. I’m going to be all right. It’s going to be fine. And I stand up on my tiptoes and give him a kiss on the cheek. He turns my head and gives me a tender, heart-wrenching kiss.

He smiles lovingly at me. He tucks the stray piece of hair that falls across my face. I blush.

“Beautiful.” He whispers tenderly.

I snort at this and ruffle his hair playfully. Of course I don’t believe him. I’m not beautiful.

“Whatever.” I smile but then it quickly vanishes to be replaced by an over whelming feeling of dread.

This totally sucks. God, this love business is way too complicated for my taste.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers, concerned.

I force a smile and jump on his back.

“Piggy back!” I yell teasingly. “Go Syphilis go!”

He’s caught off guard but he laughs and grabs my legs. We start running like crazy and I lift my hands from Sirius’s neck and I feel the cool breeze. I better enjoy it while it lasts.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


I walked slowly up to the girl’s dormitory. My dormitory. Charlie’s dormitory. Oh Merlin I so was not ready for this. I mean really, facing your best friend after she thinks you cheated with her supposed boyfriend does not call for happy go-lucky moments. Somebody kill me. Oh, Merlin why on earth did I have to fall for the one guy that my best friend likes. Why? And why am I being such a heroic, stupid, self-less Gryffindor by lying to myself and to Sirius in order to preserve friendship? As I reached the doorway I gulped.

I opened the door and found Charlie’s face looming over mine she is taller than me after all. I jump back and stifle a scream. She just stares at me, emotionless. I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

“Excuse me Danny I have to speak to Remus.” Charlie says coldly.

And with her withering glance and all in all cold demeanor I refuse to budge stating that I needed to talk to her. She wouldn’t stand it and tried to shove through me, yet I held my ground and risked being pummeled to the ground by Charlie. You never know what jealous females can do.

“Charlie we need to talk okay?” I ask desperately.

She sighs and gives in after another unsuccessful shove to get through. She sits down on her bed and crosses her arms.

“You got ten minutes Danny.” She states.

I look at her in the eye.

“Charlie, I didn’t mean it to happen you know? I mean how are you supposed to stop a person from loving you and I do not mean that in an arrogant way but I know you like him and I know that it would be wrong to have feelings for him and so Charlie he’s all yours.” I say dejectedly, throwing my one chance at love, throwing it away for a friend and I slowly feel my heart breaking, again “I’m sorry Charlie.” I add ruefully and I make to exit the dormitory but a voice stops me.

“You love him don’t you?” She whispers quietly.

I turn around and gaze at her steadily.

“Yeah, yeah I do.” I say softly finally admitting what had always been there, that one thing I had so desperately tried to evade, that stupid thing called love.

“Then why on earth are you letting him go?” Charlie screeches and grabs my arm, rather roughly actually.

I am stunned as in stunned out of mind and cannot think in a sort of daze. That kind of stun. She laughs delightedly.

“Did you actually think I care that much over Sirius?” Charlie says laughing.

I don’t say anything but kind of gape at her in shock. Because you know, I was totally ready for some big huge fight ending with me in tears or something.

“So…so you’re not mad?” I ask dubiously. “I mean you know about Sirius and me?”

This was too good to be true, I mean way too good to be true. She shakes her head and gives me a warm hug.

“Danny I am not letting a boy get between us.” She says softly. “Besides he’s obviously smitten over you.” She ends with a laugh. I blush.

“But---” I say but she cuts me off.

“Danny what kind of sad friend would I be to get mad over something as petty as a boy? I admit I was kind of hurt and all but I got over it.” She says running a hand trough her hair. “You see I’ve realized that the way he looks at you and that weird relationship you have with him is just perfect. You guys are perfect for each other. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before but you know that Hufflepuff boy? The really handsome one? Amos Diggory? Well, he invited me to Hogsmeade with him.”

I squeal for her and we find we are both squealing in an annoying manner. We end up laughing on the ground just like old times but are interrupted by my growling stomach. I cringe but Charlie laughs. She hurries off and grabs a plastic bag of junk food. I gasp in pleasure and dig greedily into the bag. I stuff a chocolate frog in my mouth while Charlie spits out a jellybean.

“What flavor?” I ask amused.

“Argh, vomit!” She says and stands up and runs to the bathroom.

I take another thoughtful bite of the chocolate frog. It’s so odd that in just a matter of a year so many things can change. There’s the whole threat of this psycho maniac who calls himself Lord Voldemort, what a loony if you ask me. There’s the whole it’s our second to last year in Hogwarts, then father being well…. father, almost drowning in the lake, the Ball, my converses, Lily and James, may their love last forever haha, Charlie and Amos, I guess gorgeous people are attracted to each other, then there’s the whole Remus fiasco, concerning the werewolf, supposedly infatuated with him but truly not infatuated with him and finally Sirius, the biggest change, the most amazing one.

I think about it and I feel so happy and elated, you know? Because just maybe you might end up spending the rest of your lives together and live that over clichéd happy ending everybody dreams of having. Perhaps love does last forever. And as I think about the boy with the long, silky black locks and piercing blue-gray eyes with that devil smirk I think that it could possibly be true. Maybe. And life will take us places and I won’t be able to control it. My life as I know it? I’m glad there’s that question mark because life is never going to be “as you know” it it’s more along the lines of What-the-hell-happened?” kind of life. And I, Daniela Mia Benice Favriaani might just learn to like it. Well, I will with Sirius Black that is. Excuse me, I hear the boy in question calling my name and I am not about to disappoint.

My life as I know it?

Most definitely not.

Fin





And that’s a wrap! Danny’s story is officially finished but I don’t think stories ever really end but continue on without us knowing. Just one of the weird theories/opinions I have in this psychotic mind of mine. It’s the end and tell me, what did you think about the story all in all? Be nice it’s my first fan fiction. Thanks to all my dear reviewers, you know who you are, for being so terribly encouraging and making me feel like I can write and am not so pathetic at it as I once thought. I love you all! Anybody who needs me to review their stories just email me at crazy_canadian2453@hotmail.com and such. Once again thank you about a zillion times. And one last favor really, could you please review? Once last time? It’s all so sad really.


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