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I broke his mug... again! by Lizzy Marquez

Format: Short story
Chapters: 8
Word Count: 13,115
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language

Genres: Romance, Humor
Characters: Ginny, Hermione, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Tonks
Pairings: Remus/Tonks

First Published: 07/27/2005
Last Chapter: 11/18/2005
Last Updated: 12/26/2005


I broke his mug... again. The blue one that he uses every morning at breakfast. and he made fun of my pyjamas. The red one... with white little hearts that glow in the dark. new banner by kira_riddle. CHAPTER 8 IS UP!!

Chapter 1: He's probably a very disturbed person
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A/N: Let's all say it together: They're CANON!!!

He’s probably a very disturbed person

August, 2nd
my room, 3rd floor, Grimmauld place number 12, 8:13 p.m.

Daily Report:
Mood: Burning anger
Number of times I tripped: 2;
Number of people that I currently hate that is not a Dark Wizard: 1
Number of times I tried to burn my pyjamas but couldn’t get through with it, because of personal attachment: 42

I broke his mug…


The blue one, which he uses every morning at breakfast.
Or at least I think he does.

I’ve only stayed for the night at Grimmauld Place 5 times so far. Sometimes I come so late from Order duty that I’m just too tired to go home, and Sirius so kindly arranged a room in the house for me, wher I am right now. I’m actually starting to feel like it’s really my room, and… oh wait! What was I talking about anyway?

Oh yeah… Those 5 times I stayed here and went down for breakfast, there he was, sitting on the end o f the table, Daily Prophet on one hand, blue mug exhaling sweet hot chocolate scent on the other.

And I broke his mug.

Every single time.

Yeah, all 5 times!

And every time he calmly would take out his wand and mutter Reparo.

This morning was no different.

I woke up at 7:25 or so with molly banging at my door “Wake up Tonks!”
I covered my head with my pillow but I couldn’t prevent myself from listening to Molly’s next scream “And it’s no use covering your head with your pillow, if you’re not down in 5 minutes I will come and get you again!”

Reluctantly I stood up, thinking if Molly had a magical eye like Moody. I was so lost in my thoughts that my foot entangled on the blankets and I landed on the floor, hurting my left ankle on the way.

So, I did the only logical thing to do! I went to the kitchen, jumping on my right foot all the way down (because I couldn’t support myself on my other foot, obviously) and hopefully Molly would be able to help me.

The only thing I wasn’t counting on was… the dungbomb on the floor. (MENTAL NOTE: Tell Ginny to stop doing that.)

I tripped and was already preparing to hit the floor when I realised I bumped into someone. I heard the sound of a mug breaking on the floor and immediately I realised who I had bumped into.

I raised my eyes slowly to meet his grey ones.
“I’m sorry… “I muttered.

“It’s ok, Nymphadora, no harm done.” He smiled slightly and repaired his mug.
He’s really good at these Reparo spells… well, at least he has enough experience…

“Nice pyjamas, by the way.”

I looked down just to realise that I was still wearing my pyjamas.

The red one…

… with white little hearts that glow in the dark.

And now I’m here sitting on my room floor, writing in this notebook.

Yes, because this is a notebook, not a diary! Diaries are for silly little girls, with no love life, that have nothing better to do.

Anyway, I hate Remus Lupin.

Seriously, I do.

And why do I hate him, you ask?
Haven’t you just read what I wrote?
Ok, go back again and read it. Read it?
Well? Figured it out now?

He is so freaking NICE!!! Always, always nice! Even when I break his mug for the 5th time.

OH, I know what he’s thinking right now…” Poor Nymphadora (Why does he always has to use my first name?) always so clumsy… Let’s all help Nymphadora, and be nice to her, and show her how pitiful she is. And on the meantime let’s all make a comment about her pyjamas, making her feel like she’s 5 years old!”


I hate him.

I mean, I don’t really hate him like I hate You Know Who, or my aunt Bella, or all the Death Eaters now that I come to think of it….

Ok, so I don’t really hate him, but he gets on my nerves so much!!!

He’s probably a very disturbed person. It’s not possible for someone to be so polite all the time.

Oh but I’m going t make him regret the day he tried to be nice to me.
I think it’s time for the quiet Marauder to be target of a little mischief.

Operation Tame-the-werewolf-and-show-him-how-mature-and-sofisticated-Tonks-really-is begins today.

To do list

#1 – Recruit accomplices;
#2 – Find out his daily routine;
#3 - Well… after I’m through with #1 and #2 I’ll think of #3.

Bummer, I have to go to work.


My Auror office, 11:53 a.m.

Daily Report:
Mood: Bored to death
Number of times I fell asleep: 3
Number of times I went to the bathroom just so I could check out that guy from the Magical Law Enforcement Patrol: 0
(I know, major improvement! I don’t even think he’s that cute anymore…)

Yep, another boring day with nothing to do. Fudge is still trying to deny that something is going on, meaning that the Aurors have nothing to do really. At least we’re going to get Harry tonight. That should be fun!


12:02, still on my office

An owl just came in and landed in front of me, jumping up and down on top of my desk.
Wait a second… it’s Pig! Why would Ron write to me? Maybe it’s Ginny…



I take back what I said.

I hate him.

Guess what? The letter wasn’t from Ginny… it’s from Professor Lupin

Dear Nymphadora

I’m writing just to remind you that we’ll be getting Harry tonight. Meet us at Grimmauld Place at 8.00 pm. bring your broomstick ok? Hope you have a nice day. Molly says you can come to dinner; we would all love your company.

Yours sincerely

See? He’s making fun of me! I guess he’s not that nice afterall…
He said, and I quote, “We would all love your company”. You didn’t get it? Why would he use the word love if he could use something like enjoy?

I think it’s a bit obvious!

Love --- Heart --- pyjamas --- He’s making fun of me!!!

He probably thinks I’m pathetic.

And a kid.

He thinks I’m a pathetic kid.

No way I’m going to that dinner.



But Molly is such a good cooker…



I’m not going!


6:59 pm

I’m going. Can’t resist Molly’s cooking.

Chapter 2: that's just a small detail
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A/N: Sorry for taking so long, I was planning to update this sooner, but I was updating The unwritten tales, and those readers were expecting for the update longer...

A/N2: Chapter dedicated to all who review the last chapter. Thanks to all: Jennee Wood; diamondintheroughs;pinkdaisys; Rosa; BabeBunny; BaybeStrawberry; GinnyRiddle; Sexysuitcase; gina; sweetKiller; MoonlightLupin; 4rm_h8_2_luv; Courtney_faith; Nancy; Alice.
Double thanks to Hullabloo, Dancing_by_magic and Mermaid who reviewed twice.

Chapter 2 – That’s just a small detail

Order Meeting, Kitchen, Grimmauld place, number 12, 11:10 pm

Daily report:
Current Mood: Tired and trying to keep myself busy
Number of times I tripped and woke up Sirius’s mother on the process: 1
(it could be worse…)
Number of accomplices recruited: 1
Number of times I considered getting married just to piss off a certain werewolf: 14
(when I say get married I mean get married to another man that is NOT the werewolf…)

What a night! When I finally hit my bed I’ll probably sleep till the next century. But I can’t go just now, we still have an Order meeting. We were supposed to meet here at 11:30 pm but we got here earlier. We had no trouble bringing Harry, so it took us less than we expected.

The others are all talking cheerfully. Thank Merlin, that way I can write with no one to disturb me…

And why do I need peace and quiet to write? Because I need to work on my evil plan of course! By the way, Operation Tame-the-werewolf-and-show-him-how-mature-and-sofisticated-Tonks-really-is is a big name… (MENTAL NOTE: find another name.)

I already have someone to help me… I talked to Ginny before dinner and she said she would help me… although I have to have a word wih her later about SUBTLETY! She giggled all during dinner, everytime Remus said something like “Nymphadora, will you pass the mashed potatoes please?

Anyway the plan isn’t going very well so far…

I tripped over that leg troll again, and managed to wake up my dear great aunt again, whose screams could be heard a mille away…


And guess who was with me at the time? You got that right, our very own Professor Lupin…

So much for the poised and sophisticated Tonks…

And guess what he told me after we managed to shut up Mrs Black?

“Don’t listen to what she says Nymphadora… Your father was a great wizard and a kind man… and you are a very talented witch too. The Tonks family should be proud of having you as their last descendent.”

Last descendent?


What is that supposed to mean?

What, he thinks I can’t get married and have kids? That no man would want me as his wife?

Well, guess what, Mr Lupin, I have tons of men after me…

Yeah, tons and tons of men…

Drop dead GORGEOUS MEN...

I just like my privacy and independence…

Anyway, if we count the incident this morning, this means the current score is Tonks 0, Lupin 2.

But that won’t be for long, or my name isn’t Nymphadora Calipso Tonks!

Here comes Dumbledore, got to go.


my room, 3rd floor, Grimmauld place number 12, 00:09 am

Current mood: evil joy
Current score: Tonks 1, Lupin 2

I love Sirius!

(No not that way, he’s my cousin, you sick people!)

The meeting was over, not much happened, but I couldn’t write it here anyway… but that’s not important, at least not for now…

I was just getting up to go to my room when an owl dropped in front of me.. it was a letter from Dawlish, my partner at work.


Don’t forget to bring that report tomorrow… you now, the one I asked you A MONTH AGO! If you forget one more time you’re as good as dead…


“Got a letter from a friend?” Remus asked mildly

“Well, it’s not really a friend….” I answered… don’t look at me like that I wasn’t lying! It’s not my fault if they understood wrong…

“It’s a bit late for sending letters isn’t it?” he continued

I didn’t even had to answer, Sirius did all the dirty work for me!

“Tonks has a boyfriend! Aww, the little girl is all grown up! Tonks, I hope your mother already explained you all about the birds and the bees…” Sirius said winking at me…

HA! Life is being too kind to me! (Mental note: take Snuffles for a walk outside as a reward!)

And the best part is that Remus left the kitchen and went to his room without saying anything. Yea, no joke! Mr I’m-nice-all-the-time went to bed without even saying goodnight!

He’s probably still shocked with the discovery that I have a boyfriend and am a desirable women… Apparently our dear Professor can’t handle the truth!

Except that I don’t have a boyfriend..

Ah, well, that’s just a small detail…

I just came from Ginny and Hermione’s room. I went there to settle things with Ginny for tomorrow, and Hermione was awake, so I thought, why not, better two accomplices than one… besides she helped me to come up with another name a little shorter than the first one: Operation TLSW that stands for Tame-Lupin-in-a-Sofisticated-Way.

Ginny kept laughing and joking during our entire meeting, saying that TLSW standed for Tonks-Loves-the-Sexy-Werewolf.

She is getting TOO FUNNY for my own sake… something tells me she’ll be my next target once I’m through with Professor Lupin…

Anyway, according to the girls Remus’s routine is always the same… he wakes up at 7:00 am, takes a shower and exactly at 7:30am he enters the kitchen. He picks up his mug, pours some hot chocolate, grabs the Daily Prophet and sits at the table.

Here’s the plan for tomorrow:

7:30 – Remus enters kitchen and grabs his mug, pouring hot chocolate into it
7:31 – Ginny enters the Kitchen, pretends to trip over something and bumps into Remus breaking his mug on the process
7:32 – The beautifull, mature, desirable and sophisticated Tonks enters the Kitchen, but she doesn’t break Remus’s mug. WHY? Because Ginny already broke it!
7:34 – Tonks sits in front of Remus for Breakfast
7:35 – An owl enters the kitchen and brings a romantic singing card (sent by Hermione, but no one needs to know that) to the beautiful and desirable Tonks.
7:37 – Remus apologises Tonks for being such a git.

Why the hell am I talking about myself in the third person? Never mind, it’s a great plan!

I am so brilliant I even amaze myself…

A/N I'm not sure if I'm doing the hours right, I'm not used to the am/pm system... also I want to apologise for any mistakes you may find, but English isn't my natural language...

Chapter 3: Mangled soldier, wounded in battle…
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Disclaimer: all belongs to Jo

A/N: actually this should be in the discaimer too. the excerpt from Tonks book isn't mine, my brother wrote it... he's the one who came up with the whole Patter Familias stuff. acording to him it's a latin expression used in ancient Rome, and basically it meant that women were nothing but dirt compared to men.

Mangled soldier, wounded in battle…

August 3rd, My Auror Office, 10:03 am

Daily report:
Current score: Tonks 1, Lupin 3
Current mood: Burning with the Fire of a thousand suns…
Number of times I tried to curse myself: 8
Number of times I forgot what I was doing and found myself wondering where a certain werewolf could be: 54
Number of times I went to the window to scream like a banshee and release my frustration. 17

Why is the Universe punishing me so much?
Is this Karma? Or am I just so thick I can’t even succeed with a simple plan? Excuse me, but I’ll just go to my window and scream one more time….


Ok, I’m back now… Why is everyone staring at me?

Plan A for operation TLSW is now a mangled soldier, wounded in battle…

I know what you’re thinking right now…. What could go wrong with a brilliant plan like that?
I know! That’s what I thought too… but NOOOOOOOOOO, Mr Remus John Lupin had to ruin everything... again…

I woke up at exactly 7.00 am. I took a shower, used my strawberry body lotion, put on a pair of jeans and a light pink top (not that I was trying to impress someone or anything…)

At 7:29am I was on top of the stairs. I heard a door opening and Ginny came out. Hermione’s head appeared behind the door and smiled at me. Ginny gave me the thumbs up and headed to the kitchen… so far, so good.

I heard the sound of something breaking and Molly’s scream “Ginevra, be more careful please!”

“It’s time” I thought. I gracefully entered the kitchen, gliding like a fairy as I greeted “Good morning everyone!”
Then I realised something was wrong…´


On one side of the table I could see Ron, eating what seemed to be at least a dozen pancakes and Ginny by his side with a frustrated look. In front of them was Sirius, smiling lightly and Harry, who by some reason beyond my comprehension wasn’t eating at all and was just staring at his hands.
“Are you going to sit or are you going to keep staring at us like that, dear cousin?” Sirius asked

“Sure…” I sat and looked at Ginny demanding as explanation.

She probably understood because she turned to Harry “Sorry again for breaking your cereal bowl Harry…”
“It’s ok, Ginny, it’s not like you did it on purpose or anything…”

“Bummer…” I whispered under my breath…

“What did you just say, dear cousin?” Sirius asked with an amused look

“Ginny would you pass the butter please?” Harry interrupted

“Yeah, Ginny would just love to pass you the butter” Ron made no attempt to hide his laughter

“Mind your own business, Roniekins” replied Ginny, whose ears were now turning the Weasley shade.

Why wasn’t he there? I though he always slept and had breakfast at Grimmauld Place! I tried to casually ask Sirius where Lupin was, but instead of answering me, he kept giving me suspicious looks and asking why I was so interested…

Fine don’t tell…

See if I care…

Ginny and Hermione tried to cheer me up before I came to work. Hermione kept pointing out that it wasn’t really Lupin’s fault that the plan didn’t work, because he wasn’t even there and he couldn’t possibly know about the plan… I tell you, Hermione is a sweet girl but she can be deadly annoying sometimes…

Nevertheless, her singing card was terrific.

Too bad there wasn’t anyone interesting to hear it…

you’re just too good to be true
can’t take my eyes off of you
you’d be like heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much…”

It was something like that, I think she copied it from a muggle song, I think my Dad had an album like that…but I still had to put up with Sirius’ jokes about it…

My life sucks…


10:42 am

Moody just came in… I was sulking in my desk and aparently he though I was ill, because he told me I could take the rest of the day off, if I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t know I was looking so bad… or maybe he noticed those couple of times I screamed in the window… or that time I shove off Kingsley from my office… or when I put that Belinda Arrowsmith in the verge of tears when she came in…it was just a quill, why make such a fuss about it?it’s not like I was going to shove it down her throat or anything…

I think Moody underestimates me… I’m feeling perfectly fine!
I’m just upset because the plan didn’t work… but WHY WASN’T HE THERE?

What if something happened to him? I don’t want him to die … or anything permanent by the way… especially to his face…


10.45 am

Pig just came in with a letter…


10:48 am

It’s a double letter from Ginny and Hermione! Operation TLSW is back!

Dear Tonks

We asked Mrs Weasley why Professor Lupin wasn’t here (and yes we were subtle). Apparently he left really early for an Order assignment. But he’ll be back by the end of the day! You have to come over for dinner; you could start with plan B!



Wotcher Tonks!

I know Hermione already explained everything so I won’t waist my time… Don’t forget to come over for dinner!!! You can try to make him jealous again and show him just how much Tonks Loves the Sexy Werewolf…


Ok, why is Ginny insisting on this? I don’t know where she got the idea that I could possibly fancy that man! Can you believe she actually thinks that that’s why I’m doing this? Yeah right, FAT CHANCE!

But they have a point… he’ll be there for dinner…

Look out everyone, ‘cause, honey, Tonks is back in the game!


Grimmauld Place, Kitchen,11:36pm

Daily report
Current mood: enough to break his neck
Current score: Tonks:2 Lupin:5

The first part of the evening went pretty good…

As always my dear cousin Sirius saved the day! (I really have to get him a NICE Christmas present.)Let me explain…

We were having dinner, you know as always, that’s not really important. Here’s the good stuff.

Me: So, Remus, how was your day? I didn’t saw you at breakfast…
Remus: it was fine, thank you. I had to leave early. Actually I didn’t even had to leave that early, because breakfast took half the time it usually takes.

( Bloody git. He doesn’t have to throw in my face that I wasn’t there to break his mug, and that’s why he took half the time… point for Lupin...again…)

Sirius: Moony, you have no idea what you missed today! Great show we had at breakfast… our dear Tonks received a singing card. I didn’t even know they still made that stuff…So romantic… almost draw a tear…

YAY! Point for me! Never mind if I blushed furiously after Sirius said that… Can You believe he actually choke on his food? (Remus, not Sirius…)

When dinner was over, Hermione and Ginny kept giving me those looks, telling me to go on with plan B. Plan B was Hermione’s idea. Apparently I’m supposed to impress him with my overwhelming intellect. So I went to the drawing room where he goes every night and sat on a couch near the fire after picking up a random book from the shelve. He was writing something, probably a report for the order I guessed, and I think he didn’t even noticed me. I HAD to do something…

“Hem hem”

He lifted his eyes from his report as I settled mine on my book.

“Is something wrong Tonks? Do you need something?”

“Remus! I didn’t even noticed you were there! I was just so absorbed in my reading, this is such a revealing book, you should try it some time!”

“Really? Can I take a look?”

As he started to skim through the pages he made a face that was something between bewilderment and plain stunned. For a brief moment I thought I’ve done it; my plan… well Hermione’s plan had worked. He was clearly impressed with me… or so I thought.

Hermione’s indeed the cleverest witch of her age. I should have known better than to ask Ginny for help…

“Interesting…” he said as he handed me back the book and continued on his report.

That’s when it hit me. What was I reading anyway?

I looked at the title: Patter Familias II: A Women’s role in the wizarding world.. It doesn’t sound so bad., it’s probably a feminist essay or something!

I wonder who the writer is? Phineas N.Black? I started too get worried… I just read a bit of the preamble and it was enough to tell me I blew it again.

Patter Familias II: A Women’s role in the wizarding world is a worthy continuation of Patter Familias I: the Head of the House. Accompany us in this journey with the distinct Wizard Phineus Black, Hogwarts Headmaster, that show us his thoughts about the vital corner stone of the wizarding society: family. After reading the first volume of this collection, where it is traced the fundamental role of the husband in the family, don’t miss this new instalment where it clearly is stated the need a woman has of subjection to a man, in order to accomplish a fulfilling and enjoyable life.


What’s this rubbish? I can’t believe this guy was my ancestor.

I kind of panicked and ran for my life. What else could I do? Oh Merlin, if he thought I was pathetic before, now he has the proof.

It was going all so well… typical.

Point for Lupin.

Which brings us to today’s resolution: no more Miss-nice-girl.

Time for drastic measures.

Remus is going down… hard!!!

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Chapter 4: By Merlin’s beards, someone is going to die!
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By Merlin’s beards, someone is going to die!

August 3rd, Kitchen, 07:25 am

Daily report
Current Mood: sleepy
Current score: Tonks 2; Lupin 5
(I know, It’s pathetic, right?)
Number of times I considered going back to bed and skip work: 23

Isn’t this just great? I hate you diary! Oh, sorry, I hate you NOTEBOOK! Yes, because of you I went to bed really late last night and now I won’t be able to work properly. Like it’s not enough the fact that every Auror in the ministry think I’m not good enough and should be sacked… But now that I think again, it’s not really your fault, it’s his fault… it all comes down to him…

Talk about the devil… he just came in and said good morning… I of course did my poised-and-sophisticated-Tonks act… Is he smirking at me? He is smirking at me! Why is he staring at me like that? But I have to admit He really looks cute with those puppy’s eyes…


You are not going to believe what he just did! He gave me the book back and said “I believe this is yours… You left it behind last night…” And he grinned! Yeah, right, rub it in my face… although I thought it was beyond him… I think Sirius is a bad influence to him… maybe his Marauder’s days aren’t over yet… it’s a nice improvement to the plain-Remus. Point for him.


Current score: Tonks 3; Lupin 6

YES!. I got him good this time! But he deserved it. When I was starting to think there was actually something worthwhile in that man, he just pulls up a stunt like that!

You want to know what happened, right? Here it goes:

Remus: (insert annoying voice here) “Did you made any hot chocolate?”
Me: “Why should I? I don’t drink hot chocolate. Last time I checked you were able to get yourself your own chocolate…”
(Was he expecting ME to be his servant? His personal house-elf? I was already expecting something like this when he gave me the book back…)
Remus: (puzzled look) ….

He silently ate his breakfast after that! Yeah, that’s right Lupin, you don’t know who you’re messing with! The wolf has his little tail between his legs! I hope your mommy has a nice little candy just for you! Tonks strikes again!

Bummer, look at the time! I should really go to work…


my room, 06:23 pm

Another boring day at work. How many times a day does Moody think we can polish our wands? I shouldn’t have said that, it’s not really his fault… it’s that bloody Fudge! How long will he deny that You-Know-Who’s back?

Fudge came to my office today, by the way. He just said Good-morning and then stared at me in a funny way. I hope he doesn’t start making passes at me… arghhh, got to take that image out of my head. And I thought nothing was worse than that time when Snape caught me in a corner and started to be nice with me… Snape is never nice to anyone! NEVER! (Mental note: must remember to obliviate that memory… BOTH memories…) I was his bloody student a few years ago!! How old is he? Well he can’t be that old, he was on Remus’ year, I think… I have to admit Remus’ is way more appealing than he ever will be. Speaking of the werewolf, I really have to even the score… what is the current score anyway?


Oh Merlin.

Oh no… Oh no… OOOOOOOOHHHH NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have spots of food on you. Yes, FOOD!!! Not my food, SOMEONE ELSE’S FOOD! Someone who read you and ate at the same time! Someone who trespassed my privacy and, by Merlin’s beard, someone who’s going to die!

Tell me who was it!


Oh, wait, you don’t speak…

Moody would be ashamed of me if he knew. I can’t believe I let my guard down.

Now I remember! I left you in the Kitchen this morning… I was so late for work I forgot about you… Remus was just… Oh no! That’s it! It was him! HIM! Of all the people! I should have known! Who else would read someone else’s diary and then neatly place it back in their room again?

But what if it wasn’t him? I really hope not! He saw me writing in you, he would never pick up something private… or would he? He was pretty mad at me…It could have been Molly… no, not Molly… maybe the twins? Ok, it’s time to put my Auror skills at work! I was trained for this type of things after all! And Yes, I did earn it!

Let’s see… everyone who was here today is a suspect…


I went to see Ginny and Hermione. They didn’t saw who picked you up, but they gave me the list of everyone who was here today:

#1 – Remus Lupin
#2 – Molly Weasley
#3 – Fred Weasley
#4- George Weasley
#5- Harry Potter
#6- Ronald Weasley
#7– Sirius Black

According to them, when they got up and went downstairs for breakfast, you weren’t there, and only three people were at the crime’s scene: Remus, Sirius and Molly. The boys were all asleep, because Ginny and Hermione were the ones who woke them up after that. That cuts our list of suspects to only three.

Do you know what this means? The so well kept secrets of operation TLSW are not so well kept from now on…

Ok, time to start eliminate the suspects one by one.

Molly Weasley
Why would she read it: because she’s a woman. A very curious woman.
Reaction upon reading: (mental note: I have to think like she does. What would I do next?) … I would probably tell someone… that’s it! If Molly knows, Arthur knows!
How to confirm suspicion: This is going to be like taking a candy out of a baby. I just have to ask Arthur. ( he’s trustworthy enough to tell me the truth) :)


I found Arthur in the Hall. I asked him, he answered. He doesn’t know a thing about it.

Off to the next suspect.

Sirius Black
Why would he read it: He’s a marauder; he’s bored; he’s Sirius Black.
Reaction upon reading: Make my life a living Hell until Doom’s day.
How to confirm suspicion: I just have to be next to him and see what he does. ( he would never lose an opportunity to gloat…)

One of the twins just walked in and told me dinner was ready.


2nd floor bathroom, 08:09 pm

I just come up from dinner. Sirius was eliminated. It was Remus, I know it was. I met Sirius on the stairs, on my way down. He said hello and we walked side by side downstairs, but he didn’t made any strange comments. This was proof enough for me, but I wanted to make sure so I brought up the subject…

Me: “Sirius, did you saw my Auror notebook I left in the Kitchen at breakfast?”
Sirius: (with a musing look) “Can’t say that I have… The only books I saw there were the ones Remus had…maybe you should ask him.Talking about him, have you noticed he’s a little down lately?”
Me: (not down enough…) No, I haven’t noticed anything…
Sirius: I think it’s probably a lady’s subject. I always said he’s too lonely. That man needs a woman in his life. If only I had a sister…I would be so proud to have him in the family. Actually I always though he had a crush on your aunt Bella back at school. He always had a thing for cute brunettes. (insert broad grin here)

Eeeeeeeewwwwwww… Remus and my aunt Bella? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

I knew it! It all comes down to him…. This is bad… this is really, really bad… it’s not that I’m obsessed with him or anything. Ok, calm down Tonks. What if he really read this? It’s not that bad. What would he see? Just a bored Auror trying to have a bit fun with him.



Just put me down of my misery…


I went to scream at my window and I’m cool now. I’m cool, cool is my middle name!
Ok, focus Tonks, let’s look at the last suspect’s profile.

Remus J.Lupin
Why would he read it: he was really mad at me this morning. I could tell, he wasn’t reading the newspaper like he always does. Maybe he wanted to read something else for a change.
Reaction upon reading: Lock himself in his room to escape crazy stalker.
How to confirm suspicion: Be alone in the same room as him and see if he goes for the door.

Time to put the plan into action, he’s probably in the drawing room right now.


outside drawing room, 08:57 pm

My theory went down in flames.

Me: ( I enter the drawing room; Sit on an armchairs; stare at him)
Remus: (stops reading, looks at me for a moment, continue his reading)

(He didn’t ran away like I thought he would… Maybe the Sorting hat didn’t made a mistake. He is a Gryffindor after all. Maybe I should make the first move and see what happens. I’ll just use my subtlety and persuasion…)

Me: ”Remus, did you saw the notebook I had this morning at breakfast?”
Remus: “A notebook? Like that one that’s coming out of your robes’ pocket?”
(The nerve of him… After all he’s done? Isn’t that enough? He still has to make a few jokes on the way…)
Me: “Yeah, this notebook… this PERSONAL notebook! But I guess you know everything about it don’t you? You came really low you know? (Who cares about subtlety and persuasion? Moody’s way is so much better…)
Remus: (with a hurt look)I’m sorry Nymphadora, but I have no idea what you’re talking about. I would never… I thought you knew me better than that.

When I looked at him again I knew he was innocent. No one is that good of an actor. Especially not him.

Me: I’m sorry.. I just… You see, it’s just… I thought…it’s not even that personal, I was just upset that someone went through my stuff.

Remus: It’s ok… I noticed you write in that notebook often. What is it about? Ministry’s business?

Me: Oh no… er… it’s recipes. Yeah, it’s some cooking recipes. (RECIPES? It’s kind of stupid but it was the first thing I could think of…)


Me: Yeah, you know me… how I am in the kitchen… so I… I asked Molly to give me some pointers…. She’s teaching me how to cook, and I… I write everything down here…But don’t tell anyone! I don’t want them to laugh at me or anything…

Remus: I’m flattered that you trust me enough to tell me then. I’m looking forward to taste your cooking.

(He was actually being nice to me… really, really nice…Now I’m starting to feel guilty for suspecting him…)

Me: I can cook you dinner sometime… if you want,… you don’t have to agree if you don’t want to, I just thought…

Remus: just the two of us? (He stares… I stare… We stare together…) I would like that…

So, my dear notebook, like you see it wasn’t him who read you. Of course you already knew that but I didn’t. But if it wasn’t Remus, then who…


…The only books I saw there were the ones Remus had…

…maybe you should ask him…

… That man needs a woman in his life. If only I had a sister…

…I would be so proud to have him in the family…



Chapter 5: Blimey, i think I have a new Boggart
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A/N: I’m back!!! You guys rock!! When I came home on Sunday, I had something like 50 reviews to answer… I want to thank all the reviewers, I would like to name them all here, like I did before, but they’re just too many now…
A special note to greenyoda987: if you’re reading this instead of doing your homework go back and DO IT!! Wolfshadows same to you! You should be studying instead of reading this!!!

Blimey, I think I have a new boggart

August 10th, outside the Three Broomsticks, 05:34 pm

Daily Report:
Current mood: Bored to death…Someone take me out of HERE!!!
Number of times I begged Moody to send another Auror to take my place: 17
Number of times Moody told me to stop complaining: 16

Yes, I am still outside the Three Broomsticks, were Madam Bones is staying… she came here to Hogsmeade for some ministry business and Moody thinks she needs a body guard… and who is the poor soul that has to take the bloody assignment? Good old Tonks! Yeah, let’s all put Tonks outside the Three Broomsticks for a week and let her rot there!


A whole week and NOTHING HAPPENED! A normal person would think that it’s proof enough that she won’t be attacked by some Dark wizard but not for Moody. I can just hear his voice inside my head… CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

She could at least be kind enough to invite me for a cup of coffee…


I just received another owl from Moody. Same answer: stop complaining and keep doing your job

I miss going to work every day…

I miss waking up with Molly banging at my door…

I miss life at Grimmauld Place…

Talking about Grimmauld Place… do you think Sirius told Remus about operation TLSW? Better yet, if he really told him what is Remus thinking about Operation TLSW?

I shouldn’t have included so many details in you. I can just imagine the wheels on Sirius’ head working after reading Ginny’s idea of TLSW.

This is dangerous material in Sirius’ hands… Blimey I think I have a new boggart…

Madam Bones is leaving, I have to follow her as usual.

August 13th, my auror office, 10:37 am

Daily Report
Current Mood: Terrified… I wasn’t as nervous since I did my Auror exam…
Number of times I paced around my office: countless
Number of times Kingsley told me to go home instead of disturbing him with my pacing: countless

Finally my 10 days shift as madam Bones’ body guard is over. At least, I have two days off now.

I apparated in here two hours ago and I gave my report to Moody. I’m free to go now but the image of Sirius telling Remus about TLSW and them laughing together keeps popping up inside my head over and over again…

What should I do?


Ok, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out… take a grip Tonks! You have to do this, you know you have to!

It’s not as bad as it seems… So Sirius read you, so what? It’s not the end of the world… is it?!?

Let’s be rational and analyse the situation here…

Worst case scenario :

#1- Sirius tells Remus. Both share an evil laugh and tell everyone during lunch time

#2- I find out that Sirius and Remus were disguised as Ginny and Hermione with Polyjuice potion the whole time (that would explain some of Ginny’s remarks…)

#3- Sirius tells Remus. Remus swears he will never be in the same room with me again. (er… that would make a little difficult to even the score)
(it’s not as I was going to miss him terribly or anything…)

Best case scenario :

#1- Sirius finds the good inside himself and not only he promises to keep it a secret but he also helps me. (I know… I won’t hold my breath… but a girl can dream…)

#2- Sirius tells Remus. Remus thinks it’s a farfetched joke from Sirius.

#3- Sirius tells Remus, but by a miracle Remus becomes temporarily deaf at that precise moment.

This was supposed to encourage me, but somehow I think the odds aren’t in my favour…

I think I can’t delay this any longer. Moody told them I was arriving today, so Molly is probably expecting me for lunch.

Ok, this is it… I’m going to Grimmauld Palce.

I’m going to the Wolf’s mouth…

… Literally.


Grimmauld Place n.12, my room, 04:00 pm

Sirius is going to pay. In a very PAINFUL way.

I mean, really, REALLY PAINFUL.

Those worst case scenario I predicted were nothing compared to this. NOTHING! It’s worst than an unforgivable curse.

It’s torture.

Plain torture!!!

I’m even considering taking Snuffles for a walk… right down to the Ministry. That ought to scare him a bit.

Here’s what happened at lunch:

I entered the kitchen and they were all waiting for me to have lunch. Lucky me, the only seat available was between Sirius and Remus. I hesitated for a bit and…

Sirius: (with a cheerful tone and an evil smirk) Tonks! How good to see you! Come on, sit here, don’t be shy. Remus won’t bite you… neither will I…

Me: (Sit at the table and stare at plate. A lot. Avoiding Sirius and Remus’ eyes like the plague.)

A few minutes later:

Sirius: My dear cousin, have I told you how poised and sophisticated you look like lately? I don’t even remember the last time you broke something! I think Moony’s mug misses your heavenly touch…

Remus: (grins)

Me: (Does he know? DOES HE KNOW? SAY SOMETHING!)

Ok, sorry about that, I’m in control now, off with the story…

Sirius: Oh, but you’re not the only one who has changed lately Tonks! Oh no… Remus I must say I never realised before how handsome you are! Well I guess that’s why they call you an SW!

Me: (spit food and choke myself. Everyone stares)

Remus: Apparently Tonks doesn’t agree with you Sirius. And, by the way, what is SW? You’ve been calling me that all week, it’s getting really annoying you know?

Me: (He doesn’t know! HE DOESN’T KNOW!)

Sirius: (staring at me with his evil grin) Oh, it’s nothing… just a private joke I have with Tonks…

Bloody git… How can he do this to me? I’m his cousin for Merlin’s sake! I have to make him stop, but how?

Ginny and Hermione just came in.


05:39 pm

Ginny and Hermione are gone, they went to help the boys cleaning the house.

They just told me everything that happened while I was away. It seems that Sirius has been playing his sick little game for a while now.

He really needs to get out more… or get a woman… Figg… Arabella Figg… now that’s a thought! (Insert evil laugh here. And when I say evil I mean you-know-who’s evil.)

The good news is that apparently Remus still doesn’t know about the whole thing. Sirius probably thinks it’s funnier this way, doing this slowly… like a little kid eating an ice-cream as slowly as he can to make it last. Well guess again, I’m taking that ice-cream away from you!!!

I just don’t know how… the girls came up with a few ideas, here’s what they suggested:

Ginny’s ideas :

#1- Snog Remus in front of everyone (I don’t really know how this would help me… each day that goes by I think that I was really desperate to get Ginny’s help…)

#2 – Bribe him with some walks outside

#3- Threaten him with Arabella Figg.

Hermione’s ideas :

#1- Confront Sirius and demand to know his intentions

#2- Ignore both of them. They eventually would forget the whole thing.

#3- If nothing else works, tell Remus before Sirius does.

I think hermione’s first idea is from far the best. If Sirius doesn’t break I’m going with plan B (threaten him with Figg). If nothing works, retreat and regroup.

Ok, so here I go. I can be as tough as you Sirius!


My flat (I mean my flat, not Grimmauld Place), sitting on the living room floor, 08:37 pm

Yep, I left Grimmauld Place for good. I wasn’t going to stay after what heard! And I thought my cousin was a good person after all. I can’t believe he did this to me! I took Hermione’s advice and went to talk to Sirius. Harry told me he was feeding Buckbeak so I went upstairs. When I was going to the door I heard some voices. I’m not the type of person that listens behind the door, but I couldn’t help it!

Really, I couldn’t!

Sirius: (lauhghs) I think you made things worse when you tried to be nice to her. Now she’s trying to get you personally.

Me: (I knew it! I knew Sirius wasn’t going to hold on much longer. Damn assignment that kept me away from here so long…)

Remus: I know that now. Did you know that when I… (insert Buckbeak’s roar here)

Me: (why doesn’t Buckbeak shut up? I want to hear what he says about me. Too bad I don’t have those extendable ears… but I can’t go and get them or I’ll lose the conversation…)

Sirius: So when are you going to give her a little bite? I think you’re her type of man, you know… with an animal side!

Remus: Are you INSANE? Being locked in this house is definitely affecting your sense of humour… or the lack of it… that woman could scare a Dementor by herself!

Me: (Bloody git! Scare a Dementor by myself??? Is that what he thinks about me? Well there are tons of men out there that disagree with you! And when I find one, I’ll make sure I’ll introduce him to you.)

Sirius: Well, what are you going to do about it?

Remus: I know what I would like to do… I guess I’ll restrain our interactions to a minimum…

Sirius: (small chuckle) You could s… (Buckbeak roared again) her senseless and (Buckbeak again).

Remus: I think I’ll put that in consideration…

Me: (Damn Sirius! Why is he talking so quietly? What is Remus putting under consideration? And why isn’t Buckbeak shutting up? Just shove a dead rat in his throat!)

I heard steps coming to the door and I had to leave.

I knew it all along that Sirius was going to tell Remus and they would join forces against me. I’m actually surprised it took him so long…

Forget about operation TLSW. I’ll just try to keep myself alive and away from those two.

A/N Can anyone guess what S... her senseless and... is?

Chapter 6: The puzzle of all puzzles
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A/N: just wanted to thank all the reviews. :) and this chapter is dedicated to sexysuitcase, my beta reader (you're the best Sam!)

August 23rd, my flat, sitting on the kitchen table, 11:39 pm

Daily report:

Current Mood: Angry (I seem to be a lot like that lately)

Number of times I thought of sending Sirius a howler: 7

Number of times I thought of sending Sirius a love letter from Arabella Figg:12

Number of times I thought of sending Sirius a love letter from Snape: 1 (that one made me sick…)

I’ve been avoiding going to Grimmauld Place… I wouldn’t bear to see the look on Remus’ face now he knows everything… I still can’t believe he said that about me… We were actually starting to be good friends! Well, we were if we forget about that little part about me breaking his mug a dozen times… and the part where I started a secret organization to plot against him… and the number of times I called him a bloody git… there was something, you can’t deny that! Definitely something going on…No, not that!! I wasn’t even thinking about his butt… or touching it! With anything! If you think I think about Remus that way you are a very disturbed person… Diary… Notebook.

I’m talking with a book! Well it could be worse, I guess. One can’t be around Mad-Eye Moody without having some drawback.

Well that friendship sunk completely the minute he said I scared a Dementor. Hermione doesn’t believe he said that. She says it’s very un – Remus – ish like, or something like that. Maybe she’s right and I didn’t hear it correctly, I mean Buckbeack was roaring like a maniac. Ginny says it’s actually a compliment, since I’m an Auror and it’s actually my job to scare Dementors and stuff like that… but I think she’s just being too optimistic on this one.

They both are, now that I come to think of it. You won’t believe the things those two came up to finish that sentence from Sirius that I couldn’t hear properly. They probably tried every word starting with an S… Although there’s one little word that keeps popping in my mind… Completed by Remus last remark "I’ll put that in consideration."…

Ok, forget about what I said… I mean wrote…

Yeah, forget about what I just wrote.

Anyway, they’re starting to notice my absence from Grimmauld Place… Molly already invited me to lunch/dinner a gazillion times. I was able to come up with some excuses but my stock is running out. And like that wasn’t enough I received a letter from Sirius today.

Hey Tonks

I haven’t seen you around here lately. Molly says you’re busy with Order business and your work. But you don’t fool me Tonks… Come on, you can come back and I promise I’ll keep my mouth shut… Marauders word! I was just trying to have a little fun; I didn’t think you would be that upset. I solemnly swear, no more jokes about your crush on sexy werewolves.

Love from your dear cousin (Who you will forgive for being such a git… hopefully…)


Crush? What crush? I don’t have a crush; do you think I have a crush? I think I would notice if I had a crush for someone, especially if that someone was a certain Remus Lupin…

I just realised I wrote the word crush five times. For someone who doesn’t have a crush I really use the word a lot… Ok, now it’s seven times. I have to stop doing that.

Back to Sirius’ letter, who does he think he’s fooling? Trying to sound like he hasn’t told Remus about my diary and… I mean, my notebook and what he read.


*sigh* I’m glad I took that out of my chest.

Talking about something else, you know that guy from the Magical Law Enforcement Squad I used to fancy? Timothy Duston? Well, he told Dante Simmons, who told Belinda Arrowsmith, who told Penelope Clearwater who told me that he thinks I’m cute. See? Now that’s a compliment! That’s what a girl likes to hear, that she’s cute, not that she can scare a FREAKING DEMENTOR!

They’re like the bane of all happiness… and why do I care about what he thinks? He’s just a sad little man who can’t see what is right in front of him!

Do you think I have anger issues? Dawlish thinks so… Oh well, I never really cared about what Dawlish thinks…

Although, now that I come to think about it, every time I start to raise my voice everyone does seem to be in a hurry to leave the room…

August 29th, my Auror office, 03:23 pm

Daily report:

Current Mood: Disturbed… I think I’m being stalked

Number of times Timothy Duston passed by my door and smiled at me: I stopped counting after the 10th time

Number of times I tried to come up with a substitute to the word crush, so I don’t have to use it ever again: 32 (with no results I might add)

Ok, this is getting really REALLY WEIRD! That guy is probably mental. I mean he said hello to me at least five times today… if it was a few months ago I would be doing a little victory dance around my office… Thank Merlin I got over that small Worship-the-Adonis-Wizard-Thing I used to have about him. I can’t believe I used to pretend to go to the bathroom just to check on him…

Other than that my day is going pretty good. No strange incidents so far; which is disturbing all by itself.

05:21 pm

I received a letter.

A very disturbing letter.

A very disturbing letter from a very disturbing person.

(Yeah, I noticed I passed from a using-the-word-crush-phase to a using-the-word-disturbing-phase)

Dear Tonks

How are you doing? I haven’t heard about you lately. But I guess you’re probably busy at the Ministry, right? Well, as you should know, we have to take Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys to King’s Cross in three days. I’m going to escort them there along with Arthur and Molly, and I thought maybe you could come too and help… Let me know if that’s alright with you…

Try to drop by some time… we all miss you… yes, me too.

Yours truly

R. J. Lupin

Tell me that isn’t disturbing!

First he said all those things to Sirius about me and now he’s starting to be nice to me again! I really don’t understand men… He goes warm and fuzzy with me (fuzzy may not be a good word to describe it, and warm… well, you know what I meant.). Then he goes Dementor cold! Warm, cold, warm, cold,… if men are puzzling then Remus John Lupin is the puzzle of all puzzles.

Oh, well, I really should answer him. And yes, I will help him with the kids. It’s my duty as an Order member after all. What should I answer? Just pretend nothing happened. Poised and sophisticated Tonks as always.

Hey Remus!

See you in Grimmauld Place, September 1st, at 10:00 am.

No, this won’t do… it’s too straightforward.

Dear Remus

I can’t believe I just wrote that… let’s try something else.

Wotcher Remus!

I’m doing fine, despite all the Order duty and Ministry business. Of course I’ll help to take the kids to King’s Cross; I can call the day off here at the Ministry.

Your's sincerely

N. Tonks

There, perfect! He’ll see I don’t care about him knowing about TLSW. He’ll see I don’t give a damn about it, not even a little! It’ll be a chance to really show him the newly-mature-gorgeous-desirable-and-improved-Tonks. (Mental note: I think I’ll borrow Moody’s invisibility cloak. Just in case…)

For the kids, it’s all for the kids! It’s not like I’ll run away if Remus starts looking at me funny or anything… Do I have to remind you that I’m an Auror? Aurors just don’t run away from anyone…even if they feel that their face is on fire and can’t meet the eyes of a certain werewolf…


just got lost into space there, sorry.

But really, it’s for the kids!

September 1st, my flat, bathroom, 07:09 pm

Daily Report:

Current mood: I’m on cloud nine… well maybe not nine, but definitely cloud 4 and 3/4

Number of times I thought of going back to Grimmauld Place: 14

Number of times I tried to figure out if Sirius really told Remus about TLSW: 342

I really have lots to tell you about today! You have no idea just how much, I don’t remember the last time I had a day like today and… oh well I guess I should start telling right?

It all started in Grimmauld Place…

I arrived at 10:00 pm sharp (Yeah, no joke, I actually got there on time!). Molly was stressing over everyone’s trunks, checking for clean socks and enough spare quills. Arthur and Remus were being oblivious to everything (but not oblivious enough to greet me in a very nice and charming way… ). The minute Sirius saw me he pushed me in a corner saying he had important issues to discuss with me. Turns out he wanted me to take him for a walk (not him, Snuffles actually) after taking the kids to King’s Cross (making a not so subtle remark about my promise… yeah the one I wrote in you… the one he read without my consent...) I told him to sod off but he made that lost puppy face and started rambling about how no one understands what he’s going through, that he’s served his time already, that he can’t take looking to the same walls all day, and no one gives a damn about him… I just couldn’t say no to him… who could? If I had known Sirius had already discussed it with Remus and he was going along I would have probably said no…I’m glad I didn’t… it actually turned out to be very enjoyable and pleasant.

I mean the walk was pleasant, not Remus.

Not that he isn’t pleasant, he is, but that’s not what I meant, and I’m just going to shut up now before I make myself more pathetic.

After leaving King’s Cross, Arthur and Molly went back to The Burrow and we went to this nice park. Sirius, or should I say Snuffles started immediately to play with a bunch of kids that were there. Remus and I sat on a wooden bench nearby and gazed at the scene. It was a really nice park; I should go back some day. Lots of trees and stuff.

Then the weirdest (but not in a bad way) half hour of my life took place.

Ok, maybe not my life, but definitely the last couple of weeks.

Remus: Can I ask you something Nymphadora?

Me: (I hate that, it’s TONKS. Ok, remember, mature and sophisticated, mature and sophisticated…) Sure, ask away.

Remus: What does SW mean?

Me: (with narrowed eyes) Sorry? Why are you asking? You…

Remus: You don’t need to be upset, Sirius told me to ask you… I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer…

Me: (mature and sophisticated Tonks) I’m not upset. But I won’t tell you.

Remus: Well, can I at least try to guess? (insert charming smirk here) By the way Sirius told me, I would guess it’s a man. Let me see, Sean? No, Steve? I don’t think so… Sebastian? Or maybe…. a Sexy Weasley?

He looked at me still smirking but when he saw my face he stopped at once. For a while we stayed quiet watching Sirius playing wit the children.

Remus: I’m sorry Nymphadora! I see you are upset with this, Sirius told me….I see he was wrong.

He seemed to be sincere. Was he trying to flirt with me? I relaxed a bit…

Remus: Sirius really loves kids. If he hadn’t been in Azkaban maybe things would turn out differently for him.

Me: And you? (He looked a little uncomfortable at the question.) You were never in Azkaban. Don’t you want a family?

Remus: I… (sigh)… you know what I am. Even if someone would want me, and I guarantee you there is no waiting line, how could I force live with... this...

He looked at me with sad eyes. I couldn’t stop staring at them.

Me: I…

Remus: You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to be nice. Don’t pity me. (he turned his head and stared at Sirius again) I’ve accepted it long ago.

Me: You, Remus John Lupin (I touched his arm and he looked at me again) are considerate, caring, loyal, intelligent, polite, thoughtful…

Remus: I told you, you don’t have to do this.

He had this sad smile on his face and he turned to look to Sirius once more. I took his hand in mine and made him look at me.

Me: No I don’t! But I want to! Any witch… no! Look at me! Any witch would fall in love with you!

We gazed at each other for a few moments, I’m not really sure how long… I’m guessing it was just a few moments… He had the most piercing look I ever saw in him. We were interrupted by Sirius who decided he wanted to go home when the kids started to pull his tail, and he was not in a good mood.

I left them at Headquarters door and came back here.

The doubt is burning my insides… does he know? If he does know, he’s acting very strange… not what I would expect from him. Is this the same person who said I could scare a Dementor?

Chapter 7: The Incident
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A/N: I know I took too long to update, please don't yell at me! anyway here's the next chapter hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: it's all borrowed form J.K: obviously. And the girl in my banner is Marjorie Estiano and I don't own her either.

The Incident

September 3, my Auror Office, sitting at my desk and biting my quill, 11:39 am

Daily Report:

Current mood: the River of Joy is running through my soul
Number of times I thought about Remus’ favorite color: 23
Number of times I had to explain Kingsley why I was late: 6


You won’t believe what just happened. I don’t believe what just happened. How could I be so stupid??? Of course it all makes sense now… doesn’t it?

Oh, wait;

You still don’t know what I’m talking about…

Well, I came to work today by Floo powder; said hello to Laura from the reception; tripped over that old Lady from that boring department that I can never remember the name… you know, the usual.

I was heading to the elevator and a tall wizard was a few feet ahead of me. I noticed him because his hair was exactly like Remus. (not that I was trying to copy that hair color in front of my mirror… every night… before going to sleep…over and over again…). Anyway, I thought it was kind of amusing because he also walked like Remus, you know, like he had a string pulling the top of his head. His clothes also looked like Remus’ clothes and BY MERLIN HE WAS REMUS!!

I was so stunned when I realized it was him that I bumped into someone, causing everyone to look at me.

Including him.

I raised my eyes only to realize it was Timothy Duston that I had bumped into. He had his hand in my waist and a large grin in his face.

“You have to be careful Tonks. People would think you’re throwing yourself at me.” He still had his hand around my waist and he didn’t seem inclined to remove it.

“Oh, right, sorry for that Timothy”.


I saw Remus giving us an unreadable look and quickly looking away. I tried to step back but Timothy grabbed my arm and pulled me closer.

“So do you want to have dinner with me today? I was planning to ask you for ages you know?”

“Well... Er…. Timothy… you see…”

Luckily I didn’t have to answer because someone called for him and he had to hurry to some mission after guarantying me that he would stop by my office to discuss the matters of our dinner. At least I’ll have time to think of an answer.

I hurried to the elevator just in time. Remus was the only one there.

That’s when the weird stuff started happening.

Remus: Hello Nymphadora. Nice to see you here.

Me: Hi Remus.

(insert awkward silence. Really awkward. Relly really disturbing... and awkward)

We stayed quiet for a few moments. I was staring at my feet and he had his hands in his pockets and I just couldn’t look at him. I can’t believe he saw me in that situation with Timothy. What is he thinking of me right now?

The silence was starting to be unbearable.

Me: I can’t say I’m not surprised to see you here. Are you applying for a job?

(Stupid, stupid Tonks! Why did you have to refer the fact that he’s unemployed?)

Great, I was able to embarrass myself even more than I already was.

Remus: (with something that actually looked like a grin) No... That’s not what brought me here. I’m actually here to attend a meeting with the Department of Magical Creatures Regulation. Although that would be a perfect Department for me wouldn’t it?

Me: (laughing a little more than I intended to at first) Yeah, I guess it would.

Ok, embarrassing phase is gone now. What really sucks is that sweating-palms-phase took place.

Me: So... what is that meeting about?

The elevator stopped and we stepped out. Who cares if this wasn’t the right floor for me?

Remus: (in a low whisper and approaching my ear to speak. Bummer, now it’s butterflies-on-stomach-phase) It’s actually Order business, but to the Ministry I’m just a concerned wizard/werewolf. (in a lower tone) You know Dolores Umbridge?

Me: Toadwoman?

Remus: (with a quizzical look). Yes, I think that’s the one. (Insert sweet and charming grin here) She’s trying to approve a new werewolf regulation. She’ll be removing most rights we have right now. She even wants us castrated.

Me: YOU’RE JOKING! She can’t do that… it’s...

Remus: (between laughs) Tonks… I’m joking about the
castrated part…

Smart move Tonks. Really smooth… and yes, I said this in a very sarcastic tone.

Me: Oh… Right… I knew that… even so, it’s not fair. Someone should really kick that woman’s ass.

Remus: Well, Sirius thought about that. He actually suggested me to Stupefy her senseless and drag her to the Dark Forest. I told him I would put it in consideration.


Sirius: (small chuckle) You could s… (Buckbeak roared again) her senseless and (Buckbeak again).

Remus: I think I’ll put that in consideration…

**end Flashback***

And this, my dear notebook, was the revelation of the century. See? I told you it all made sense! I don’t scare a Dementor… Umbridge does! Me? Scare a Dementor? How ridiculous… I should have known all along.

It’s your fault you know? You’re the one that puts all these conspiracy theories in my head… Don’t play innocent! You know it’s true, you evil Diary!...

You know what this means? I was wrong all along! If I was wrong about this I could be wrong about Remus in a lot of things. Maybe he never made fun of me; or maybe his favorite color isn’t blue like I always thought it was. Heck, he could be a woman for all I know. I never saw him naked. Not that I’ve been thinking about Remus naked… that would be a bit… er… weird.

But there’s no way abody like that could be… er… Never mind.

Anyway, I eventually had to say goodbye to him. But I’ll see him tonight at the Order’s meeting, which would be the perfect occasion to… continue our conversation! Oh, bummer. Dinner with Duston. I have to cancel that.

Thinking again I don’t remember agreeing with it in the first place…


Still my Auror office, 06:29 pm

I did a stupid thing.

A really stupid thing

I accepted to have dinner with Duston. Don’t yell at me! It wasn’t my fault!

When he came here just a while ago, I had all my speech planed, to tell him that I didn’t want to go in that stupid dinner.

But he didn’t even let me start, he started talking like I already said yes, and saying how happy he was because he had no friends to go out with.

He has no friends, what did you want me to do? I guess I’ll have to skip that order meeting. It’s not that big deal; I had no reports for the Order…

Bummer, why am I so nice?

But Remus heard Timothy asking me out. So when he doesn’t see me in the meeting, he’ll know I’m with him and he’ll be jealous and… oh, I’ll just shut up.

See? I shut myself up.


Not talking about Remus anymore.


11:49 pm, my room; smashing my head against the wall... repeatedly… over and over again.

I just had the most embarrassing moment of my entire life. I’m serious, my skin has acquired a permanent blush color. It wears off, but when I think about The Incident (that’s how we’re referring to today’s events from now on) the color just comes back. And I can’t morph my skin back to normal. I tried it. Doesn’t work.

I will never be able to look Remus in the eye again. But I have my techniques. I’ll avoid being alone with him at all costs, and if I have to talk to him I’ll just stare to his neck while talking (It won’t be too hard, considering he’s taller than me).

Anyway, here’s what happened…

The Incident.

Timothy took me to this fancy Restaurant in Diagon Alley. I felt weird chills down my spine all the time, almost like I was being watched. After 5 minutes I realized I was going to have the worst date of my entire life. He kept talking about himself, how he was a great keeper in his Hogwarts’ days, how he received a medal in a mission for the Ministry involving a gang of thieves. Or was it contrabandists? Can’t remember, I wasn’t paying much attention. I actually paid more attention to the empty table besides us where I could just swear I saw a chair moving.

Then suddenly he started to talk about You-Know-Who, and how he believed in Dumbledore. He started asking me suspicious questions… almost like he knew that I was in
the Order. I avoided those questions obviously, I know I’m not supposed to give away information, even if that person seems interested in joining forces with us against You-Know-who.

After dinner he offered himself to walk me home, since it was just a few blocks away. You’re thinking the same thing as me right? This guy never noticed me at all, and suddenly he’s all over me, buying me dinner, offering to escort me home… and in top of all that, asking questions about the Order?

I told him I would just apparate home and prepared myself to draw my wand in case he insisted. Almost instantly he said Expelliarmus and I felt my wand slipping away from my hand as he grabbed me by my wrist.

"I would be more careful, Tonksy. You don’t want me to think that you were going to attack me right? Now be a nice girl and tell me what Dumbledore’s up to. The Ministry knows that he’s gathering several wizards and witches and that you’re one of them."

"I have no idea what you’re talking about." I said trying to sound calm. I quickly looked around and noticed we were the ones in the street. But I felt the same chill down my spine that I felt back on the restaurant.

"Don’t make things harder for me Tonks…" He pulled me closer and I felt his breath in my face. "Just tell me what you know and I’ll let you go."

"She already said she doesn’t know what you’re talking about. And I would release her arm if I were you."

Next to us and appeared out of nowhere was Remus. Timothy backed out, and he was obviously as surprised as me when he saw him there.

"And I don’t think it’s very polite to accuse someone of something when you don’t have any kind of proof."Remus continued in his quiet voice.

Timothy gave a few steps back and disapparated without a word. Remus handed me my wand and I noticed an invisibility cloak in his arm.

"Thanks." I said looking into those beautiful grey eyes.

"Don’t mention it. Shall I walk you home?"

I nodded in agreement and he smiled making those butterflies in my stomach to start dancing again.

When we were already in front of my flat I broke the silence.

"How did you know that Timothy was… one of Fudge’s cronies?"

"I didn’t. But when I didn’t saw you at the meeting I felt a bit worried and I figured I should check on you."

I blushed at the thought that he worried about me, but I managed to answer back.

"Let me get this straight, Remus Lupin missed a meeting?"

He smiled and looked at his feet, before looking me in the eye again.

"I thought my presence would be more important here tonight." (insert charming smile here. I mean really, really charming. Like sweep-you-off-your-feet-and-make-you-melt-charming-smile.)

"Thanks again."

"It was nothing really. I’m just glad that it’s all ok with you." He said taking a step forward coming a bit closer. Too close. And since when are the butterflies in my chest? Is there a secret tunnel between the stomach and the heart that I don’t know of?

"Thanks for worrying about me then." I said in a whisper, closing the gap between us. We gazed at each others eyes as I leaned my lips towards his. When I was already feeling his warm breath tingling my skin I realized what I was doing and I disapparated to my flat without looking back.

I was going to kiss him

I was actually going to kiss him.

Not a friend’s kiss.

A Kiss-kiss.

What is happening to me? What if… Sirius is right? What if I do have a crush?

But I had crushes before and they have nothing to do with this…

Chapter 8: I’m going to say Hi. Then I’m going to kiss him again.
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A/N: I know I took a long time to update and I’m really sorry. I was going through some hard times, and I had a few personal problems, so I wasn’t in the best mood to write fanfiction. I apologise for that, and I know that many of my readers gave up hope on this fic by now, but thanks to the ones who are actually reading this and were wiling to wait so long for an update. I also want to apologise for any mistakes you may find, but I couldn’t send this chapter to my beta reader. (By the way, Sam, if you’re reading this, I can’t send you e-mails, they keep coming back… try to e-mail me so we can figure this out.)

I also realised that many of you keep asking what my natural language is, so just for the record, I’m from Portugal, so my natural language is Portuguese :)

Chapter 8- I’m going to say Hi. Then I’m going to kiss him again.

September 10th, sitting in a garden’s bench, a few blocks from Grimmauld Place, 06:30pm

Daily report
Current mood: Anxious. And I mean really anxious.
Number of times I thought of getting rid of my muggle relationship’s book:12

I know what you’re wondering…. What is a beautiful, gorgeous and desirable woman doing sitting on a bench all by herself for the past half hour, right? We have an Order meeting tonight at Grimmauld Place.

And you know what this means right? I’ll have to see him.


The Professor…

The charming, sweet, owner of that breath-taking smile, werewolf, with whom I am definitely NOT in love with.

Yeah, it took a whole week to figure that one out, but I can assure you dear notebook that I am, by no means in love with that man.

I am not in love with Remus Lupin.

I am NOT in love with Remus Lupin.

I am NOT in love with REMUS LUPIN!!!

Bummer, it’s not working… I read in a muggle book that if you repeat the same thing over and over again you convince yourself that it’s true… Apparently it doesn’t work…

Well, being in love isn’t as bad as it seems right? I mean, I really like that tickling feeling in my stomach when I think of Remus… and when I think about the almost-kis… I mean, the incident, I get all those chills…

Do you think that he felt the same thing I did when we were… well, you know? He didn’t step back… and he was the one that gave the first step, right?
Argh, this is driving me insane!!!

But he is so sweet… and he worries about me… Yeah, he worries so much he even skips Order meetings to come in my rescue…

Thinking again, maybe he did it because he thought I wasn’t able to take care of myself! Oh Merlin, he thinks I’m an incapable and completely useless Auror!

Ok, calm down Tonks… you just have to stick to the original plan… avoid being alone with him at all costs. And if he talks to you, just… just stare at his neck… don’t you dare to look into those beautiful grey eyes Nymphadora Tonks!

Ok… I’m going to Grimmauld Place. Wish me luck.


Grimmauld Place, number 12, sitting in my bed

Remus J. Lupin is probably the most wonderful man in the whole world.

No, scratch that…

Remus J. Lupin is DEFINETELY the most wonderful man in the whole world.

I arrived to Grimmauld Place just in time for the meeting. Everyone was there, except for the kids. I miss the kids. Especially Ginny. And Hermione. And I miss Harry too. Well, now that I think of I also miss Ron… well, that’s not the point. Guess who sat in front of me at the table?

during Order meeting

Remus (while sitting down in front of me): Good evening everyone

Me (raising my eyes and meeting his beautiful grey ones… Stare to the neck Tonks, STARE TO THE NECK!): Hi.

Stupid Tonks. Last time you saw this man you tried to kiss him, and all you can think of to say is Hi? Just pay attention to the meeting and pretend he isn’t there.

Dumbledore: Now that everyone is here let’s start our meeting. Remus, I believe you have a report for us?

All eyes turned to Remus. Bummer… just stare to the neck, Tonks, stare to the neck! He does have a sexy neck by the way…

Soon the meeting was over. And the staring-at-the-neck plan wasn’t very effective… without realising I caught myself exchanging glances with Remus every other minute.

In case you didn’t understand me correctly I’ll explain better, we were exchanging glances, which means he was looking at me too!

We smiled at each other a couple of times and every time I felt my heart melting.

After the meeting I was chatting with Emmeline and Hestia when I felt a soft touch in my right hand, while someone handed me a piece of parchment. I raised my eyes and I saw Remus walking away.


You have something in your old room waiting for you.


Of course I came running to my room as soon as I had the chance. I tried to act casual for a few minutes, but curiosity took the best of me. I entered my room and Remus wasn’t there. Not that I was thinking that he was actually waiting for me there… but there was a small chance… you never know…

I walked to the bed and I saw another note and a delicate pink daisy. Daisies are my favourite flower you know? Well, you probably don’t know that, but Remus does, because he’s a thoughtful gentleman… Sirius could learn a lot with him.


For seven days I have seen the sun rise, but I haven’t seen you.
I have walked this earth but I only want to be with you.
I spent all my life searching for something…
Searching for love… searching for you…


He loves me! He loves me! HE LOVES ME!

Tomorrow morning, when I see Remus, I’m going to kiss him. Yeah, that will be the first thing I’ll do. Ok, probably not the first thing… I’ll probably smile a little first.

But then I’m going to kiss him.

Then I’ll stop for a few seconds and I’ll say “I love you Remus Lupin”

Then I’m going to kiss him again.

Then I’m going to say hi.

Then I’m going to kiss him again.

Maybe I should brush my...

(A/N: no that's not a mistake. the chapter ends here :) )