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My Reflection by Astrid Elisabeth

Format: Novel
Chapters: 55
Word Count: 115,470

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Drama, Romance, Angst
Characters: Dumbledore, Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Voldemort
Pairings: James/Lily

First Published: 10/03/2004
Last Chapter: 07/02/2005
Last Updated: 01/01/2012

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Lily Evans felt her leotard hug her curves. Her hands were placed in third position and her feet in fourth. She was standing there, prepared to turn and perform a hopefully triple pirouette in front of her audience. The smile of James Potter was on her mind. After all, it was because of him she was standing on this stage. She hated it, but that was the truth. This is a different James/Lily story with quite a few twists. Hope you like it! Banner by Iced_Cherriez.

Chapter 26: Childish Fun

Chapter Twenty-six, Childish Fun

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We should consider every day lost on which
we have not danced at least once.
- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I was stressed and in a bad mood. I had changed after ballet class in an amazing speed, practically running off to the library. I was supposed to help some boy from fifth year prepare for his Christmas-tests in Charms on professor Flitwick’s order.

“I’ll give you the double lesson on Friday off if you help me out with this pupil…” He had squeaked to me in his usual weak voice a couple of days ago.

I had gladly agreed, I didn’t mind having that lesson off in the end of the day.

‘Professor Flitwich knows me so well now he’s figured out how to make me play on his team…’ I giggled softly in my mind as I made my way through the corridors.

I had spent an hour concentrating in the ballet studio, which practically meant I hadn’t had any time to think about James during that time. But now I had. I saw him in my head, flying on his broom in the cold air, smiling brightly as he scored another goal. I continued daydreaming as I walked, forgetting everything else except the fact that I was headed for the library for some reason. I felt my spirit rise as I remembered his strong arms carrying my tired body to bed last night…

“Liiiiiiily?” A sweet voice called, I was not completely in the real world.

Was it James?

“Yes?” I replied, looking around.

The person in front of me had a charming smile, black hair falling down into his face and a pair of gentle eyes. But it wasn’t James.

“Sirius!” I beamed, throwing myself in his arms, giving him a long hug.

“Wow, you’re in a good mood today! Yesterday you were so sad we were afraid you’d cry your eyes out..”

“I know, I am kind of happy!” I giggled softly, looking dreamily out on the clear sky through the tall windows.

“So..” Sirius smiled at my answer, grabbing my hand and swinging it back and forth as he walked along with me. “You’re heading for the library, right?”

“Yep, that’s where I’m going. To help this kid with Charms-work. Professor Flitwick has apparently given up on him!”

I stretched my shoulders, letting out a little happy sigh. Sirius observed me.

“Are you going to tell me who he is anytime soon?” Sirius looked down at me.

“What?” I said jokingly, looking back up at him, puzzled by his comment.

“Who you’re in love with, honey…” Sirius bent down close and mocked.

“Well… no,” I smiled teasingly, continuing to swing our hands.

“You’re too mean for your own good, Lily. Every single soul in our year and a few below have noticed your drastic change in moods and far-away-looks. Tell me who he is!”

I looked at him in disbelieve.

“You wish!” I laughed, dropping his hand and starting to run down the corridor.

He sighed, but gave me a wide smile as he took up the chase, starting to run after me. When he caught up, he grabbed me around the waist, making me struggle to break free. An attack of laughter and giggles filled the hall in front of the library as Sirius forced me down on the floor, tickling me like mad.

“St-Stop Sirius! Siriuuuuuus! I can’t breathe! Please stop!”

“Fine, if you tell me who he is,” he laughed evilly at me.

“Y-You know who he is!” I forced out, trying to remove his hands from my stomach.

Suddenly, Sirius stopped ticking me and got up from the floor. He gave me a last look before running through the library doors, a satisfied smirk on his face. “Catch me if you can!” he yelled back at me.

I dragged my bag up in a hurry, slipping it down by an unoccupied table in the library.

“Sirius Black! Get back here!” I half screamed half yelled, scanning the library. But I couldn’t see him…

“Miss Evans!” The grumpy librarian sat me back in place. “This is a library!

“Oh, sorry madam Brooks,” I apologised, leaving her and starting to walk in between the bookshelves to find Sirius. It didn’t take long until I started to feel desperate. The library was huge, and Sirius was an expert on hiding from people whenever he’d like. If he had figured out it was James that was stuck on my mind, I was in some kind of trouble, I had the feeling.

He would probably find some silly person to spill to, I was sure of it.

“Liiiiiiiily Eeeeeeeeevans is in loooooooooove!” It suddenly roared from the other side of the library. I was so shocked I almost grabbed something to hold onto.

Then I suddenly saw Sirius come into view, and he was running towards me in great speed, his arms open.

I didn’t have any time to panic before he had grabbed me, swinging me around.

“My Lily’s in love!” He screamed, almost blasting my ears out. “She’s in love… She’s madly in love!”

“Mr Black! Miss Evans! I’ll have you both suspended from the library after this outrageous behaviour!” Madam Brooks hissed.

“Thanks a lot, Black!” I said sternly to him as we stood outside in the library hall. But my stern expression soon softened and turned into giggles.

“Well, miss Evans? Wasn’t it fun? Should we repeat that sometime soon? So I can scream out WHO’s stuck on your mind?” he smirked.

“No, absolutely NOT!” I said. “I was supposed to meet the fifth-year boy, remember? You screwed it all up!”



Sirius shrugged. “Too bad.”

“You’re so evil!” I said next, taking hold of his baggy T-shirt by the neck, shaking him in playful rage. It didn’t have the effect I wanted thought, to be honest.

“Get me back in there!”

“Madam Brooks?” Sirius said carefully, titling the door.

I saw her come over, looking at Sirius as if he was a bug which needed to be smashed, squeezed and killed immediately.

“Yes, Mr Black?” She frowned.

“Erm… That blouse really suits you…” He tried, looking down at the lime-green blouse she was wearing with pink flowers.

“Really?” She replied, giving him a highly doubtful look.

‘God, Sirius.. That trick doesn’t work on women over thirty!’ I thought desperately.

“Well, to be honest, I was wondering if Lily Evans could come back in? She’s calmed down a lot now… She was supposed to help a fifth-year with work,” Sirius smiled brightly.

I slapped a hand over my face as I saw the librarian look evilly at Sirius before giving him her answer.

“No, she’ll have to come back tomorrow, I’m afraid,” she said, obviously satisfied over her victory.

She locked the door with a slam.

“Thanks a LOT, Sirius.. that was really helpful,” I rolled my eyes at him. “I had a quite good relationship with that old grumpy librarian-woman! It took YEARS to gain her trust…”

Sirius pushed out his lower lip, setting his puppy eyes on me. “Sorry,” he whimpered falsely. “Can’t you just invite her to a private ballet-show? Sure she’ll love it. Make that beautiful smile of yours flash over to her…”

I shook my head at his silliness.

“Go, Sirius… Before I hunt you down and kill you with my bare hands!”

He must have noticed the dangerous sparkle in my eye, because he didn’t protest. He walked slowly away, whistling and taking his time. Before he rounded the corner, he stopped up, smirking at me.

“Good luck with Prongs, by the way…”

"Thanks," I said automatically, slapping my hand over my mouth as I realised I'd let him corner me.

I punched myself in reassignment, leaving my lips in a straight line as Sirius's head turned up again, winking before he was out of view.

‘I knew it!’

After half an hour of intense persuasion, I was finally allowed to enter the library.

“I’m going to boil him for this…” I hissed at myself.

It took a while to find the right pupil in the now crowded room. Then I finally found him, sitting by a table of his own, scribbling on some parchment. Even thought I was exhausted, I still felt a little trace of happiness in me.

“Hello, I’m Lily Evans,” I smiled, sitting down next to him.

“I’m Mark Johnson,” he murmured, shaking my hand loosely.

‘Johnson? He isn’t Bryn’s brother, is he?’ I thought, creasing my eyebrows.

But as I took a closer look, it became apparent that he was. Same body structure, same hair colour and the same mysterious eyes.

“You’re not Bryn’s ex-girlfriend, are you?” He asked me before I even had time to open my lips to ask him about his brother.

“Well.. Yes, I am,” I answered, feeling blood rush into my face.

“I think he still likes you,” the boy continued, as if we were discussing whether to have milk or sugar in our tea.

My blush got even more violent, and I seriously wondered how I’d manage to help him through Charms after this.

“Why?” The question just popped out before I could control myself.

Mark scanned me before he answered.

“Well, you’re kind of hot,” he said casually, arching his left eyebrow.

I pretended I didn’t hear that, and took a deep breath.

“I really have to go to the girls’ bathroom, why don’t you just start? I believe you’ve read chapter seven? Read it again, and be done when I return.”

I really struggled with Mark. I just couldn’t get his words away from my head… but then again, he was the one saying I was ‘kind of hot’ … Bryn hadn’t told him that, had he? Mark kept mentioning him all the time, and told me he had a lot of trouble getting over me. All in all, I thought it was cute of Bryn.

But I knew he wasn’t in my heart any longer.. James was. If I liked it or not. I didn’t fight my own feelings any more, I knew I was in love with him. It still hurt when I thought about the kiss… But after his performance in the common room last night, I was having new hope. Or did he think of me as nothing but a friend?

‘But would you have kissed someone you thought of as just a friend? Say… Sirius?’

I shivered.

‘Sirius is very handsome… and I care so much about him.. but no. He’s my friend, and nothing more.’

For once I actually let out a relieved sigh. Because I knew I was telling myself the truth. And it made me calm.

“Hey? Are you going to show me the wand-movement again or not?” Mark said irritably next to me. “Stop looking all lost!”

A/N: I noticed I haven't been writing much about Sirius lately, so I figured I'd make him have almost a chapter of his own. Isn't that last comment by Bryn's brother amusing by the way?

Did you notice "Kissing Me"? A one shot songfic I wrote, to all you readers of My Reflection!