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Weasley Spinster by velllichor

Format: Short story collection
Chapters: 10
Word Count: 22,063

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Contains profanity, Mild violence, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: General, Humor
Characters: Victoire, OC

First Published: 05/27/2013
Last Chapter: 08/12/2016
Last Updated: 08/12/2016

Sequel to Weasley Smart and Weasley Anger

Victoire Weasley was an unpleasant and rude person. She was stubborn, a force to be reckoned with and under the impression that she was always right (which she usually was). 

And no matter what anyone said or did would ever change that.
beautiful banner by Lady Asphodel @ tda

Chapter 7: Donna's Sleep Talking

Victoire wasn't prone to sleepless nights, sleeping was one of her favourite past times. But even she was victim to the occasional night where her mind just couldn't be silent enough for her to go to sleep. On nights such as those, Victoire lay in bed and listened to Donna's sleep talking.

Most of the things that Victoire knew about Donna, she learned from her friend's sleeptalking. She knew how many siblings Donna had, their names, their professions, as well as the type of relationship she had with her parents and her siblings. As talkative as Donna was when she was awake, she wasn't very open about the things that mattered to her. Victoire had learned more about her friend while Donna was asleep than when she was awake.

Of course, Victoire never told Donna about the kinds of things that she spouted during the night. Victoire acted like she didn't know any better to avoid her friend feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

So when Victoire was seized with sleeplessness one week when her professors had been piling on homework after homework, Victoire prepared herself to learn more about her best friend.

She knew that sleep wasn't going to come to her that night after spending three hours tossing and turning in her bed. In the end Victoire gave up and lay staring at the top of her four poster bed. Her sheets were soft and cool against her skin, her head was melting into the pillow, everything that was necessary for her to fall asleep was there and yet her brain just wouldn't stop thinking.

She spent a good hour having an argument with herself that she made sure she won. Then Victoire pretended to be arguing with an imaginary person, just in case the subject ever did come up. She went to the bathroom again to make sure her bladder was empty just in case she did dose off. And then it was back to laying in bed and waiting.

Finally, Donna's mumbling began to float through her curtains. Victoire had no idea that what she was tuning in for was not an update on the well-being of Donna's family, but rather something completely different.


“No . . . no . . . Victoire . . . don’t blow fire at me,” Victoire heard Donna mumble. She wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion because Victoire was quite sure that she didn’t breathe fire. She sat up and pushed back her curtains to get a good view of Donna, who never closed her own curtains.


“I didn’t mean . . . to turn you into a dragon . . . sorry,” Donna mumbled again, her right arm rising in the air half-heartedly before falling back to her side on the bed. Victoire raised an eyebrow as Donna fidgeted for a moment before turning on her side, her back facing Victoire. Victoire stayed quiet while Donna continued mumbling.


“But you look so pretty in that sparkly pink dress,” Donna suddenly yelled, making Victoire jump in her spot.


“Sparkly pink dress? That sounds atrocious,” Victoire mumbled under her breath. She was frankly insulted that Donna would dream of her wearing a sparkly pink dress. This was definitely some kind of nightmare.


“You look so good as a dragon though . . . .don’t be mad,” Donna mumbled. Victoire could very clearly picture herself as a dragon, wearing a torn up dress and breathing down on Donna, she liked to think she’d be a Hungarian Horntail. This was the weirdest dream that Victoire had ever eavesdropped on by Donna, it must’ve come from something she’d been reading.


It went on for the rest of the night, at one point Donna took to fighting with the air so aggressively she threw herself out of bed. Victoire, out of the goodness of her heart, levitated her friend back onto her bed and continued to watch in amusement. She was going to regret not getting any sleep in the morning, her body was already feeling sluggish and telling her to let them rest properly while her mind resolutely replied with,”No. Suffer.”


Donna’s adventures with dragon Victoire were quite entertaining, if Victoire could say so herself. The two of them went shopping together, cooked together, and from the screaming that went on for a good thirty seconds, Victoire was willing to bet she had set the kitchen on fire in the dream. Donna dreamt that she and Victoire had gone a cruise together at one point. Victoire felt a little irritated that her best friend seemed to prefer her in lizard shape instead of human shape when it came to cruise ships (“It’s so nice to have your stupid hair not blowing into my face.”)


Victoire had laid down at some point during the night while listening to Donna, her back had started hurting after sitting up for two hours straight. The sky outside lightened little by little as it approached dawn. When the clock struck six in the morning, Victoire decided to let Donna and the dragon version of her have one last adventure before tearing the two of them apart.


Donna’s last adventure with Victoire turned out to be setting Victoire up on a date with another dragon. It was probably the closest Victoire was ever going to get to romance.


“This blue eyeshadow really suits you,” Donna mumbled into her blanket, and this nail polish will look really good on your claws.”


There was a moment of silence as Donna threw the covers off of her complaining that it was really hot, and aggressively scratched her head.


“I don’t know what his name is . . . but he had really cool wings so he can’t be that bad,” Donna said. “You know . . . it’s funny . . . but I thought he would’ve burnt me to a crisp before I could tell him about you. You should go out on a date, take a break from being bitter once in a while.”


Victoire almost leapt out of bed and started yelling at Donna right there and then. She wasn’t wrong but there was no need to point it out, that was just rude. Victoire made the decision to wake Donna up right there and get her going for the morning.


Victoire tiptoed out of bed, grabbed her wand and stood over Donna with it ready. She pointed her wand and whispered, “Aguamenti,” under her breath. Victoire stepped back as the jet of water hit Donna in the face and the girl went leaping out of bed, sputtering and flinging water droplets out of her shaking head.


“Fam, what the hell?!” she exclaimed, water dripping from her shirt, her hair, her face, and her arms.


“Excuse you, but I never take a break from being bitter,” Victoire said in reply, hands planned on her hips.


“Ugh, get some sleeping potion next time and stop spying on me,” Donna said, giving Victoire a slight shove with her shoulder on her way to the loo.


“What I didn’t understand was me as a dinosaur in a sparkly pink dress.”


“Let’s not talk about this.”


“And the fact that you think you’d be able to transfigure me into a dragon by accident in the first place, you’re trash at Transfiguration.”

“Victoire, for your sake, I’d stop talking.”

a/n: sorry for taking so long to post this (is anyone reading at this point? if you are, let me know via review) but i've been super busy with school and ignoring assignments and i've only managed to finish this now. i've been moving all of my things over to another fanfiction site so if i ever stop posting things for whatever reason, that's why!