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Valour by blackballet

Format: Novel
Chapters: 45
Word Count: 100,067

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Drama, Horror/Dark, Romance
Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, Voldemort, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 08/07/2013
Last Chapter: 06/05/2016
Last Updated: 01/12/2017

banner by me 

Life goes on

But so does death


          Innocence and arrogance combine in a story about eight newly-graduated revolutionaries. 

Chapter 41: The Worst in the Possible: Part III

 (June 14th, 1981)


They apparated, they walked forty or fifty feet ahead, they spotted Mary. She told them the beach, west, go west and you’ll hear her screaming. Except Mary didn’t say she’d still be screaming. No, scratch that. Mary didn’t know if she was dead or not, no clues there. They sprinted west down the beach, two humans and a dog, they hid, they saw a figure, they saw two figures and thought one was Voldemort.

In between one figure and two figures. That was how long it took Dorcas to die. One figure went in. They hid, Remus and Sirius argued over a shadow. They looked at the cave, two figures came out.

They went in the cave, three figures. Two figures came out. Two more figures came out. Three figures apparated, one performed side-along apparition with Sirius Black. Marlene kept playing it over and over in her head.

Marlene ran her hand across Sirius’ chin. She didn’t know how long they’d been laying there, all cooped up in the spare bedroom in his house. But if his beard was any indication, it was a little over two days. The tea was still whistling from the time that Remus had come in and tried to get them out of bed. Sirius’ face was clean then. It must’ve been the first. There was also a huge dent in the wall where Sirius’ curse pushed Remus into it. But Marlene didn’t hear the tea as she ran her hand over Sirius’ tear-streaked face.

She heard Dorcas’ voice in her head. Not just the laughter and the snickers. But the tears and the yelling, too. Every little thing she could think about Dorcas she was fond of. She loved her so much she didn’t know how she would go on without her. It was fitting, maybe, that neither of the two had great relationships with their families. No one would suspect they were best friends, but everyone thought they were sisters. Everyone had thought they were sisters. Had thought.

Sirius turned over under her arm, and the two locked gazes. Marlene had never seen Sirius’ eyes so bloodshot. It was then that they were bluer than ever. Sirius had never seen Marlene so defeated, and so tired, and so sobered.

“Please shut the bloody kettle,” he croaked. Marlene was lost in thought, and did not acknowledge Sirius’ request. “Marls.” Marlene blinked slowly and looked into Sirius’ eyes again. Marlene had finally processed his request, and attempted to get up. As she pushed herself up from the bed, she heard a small whimper from Sirius. He grabbed her arm, forgetting that he had just asked her to leave.

Marlene pushed his hand off gently, and stood up from the bed, now realizing that her insufferable headache was due to the screaming kettle. He began sobbing again as Marlene walked out from the room slowly and down the stairs to the kitchen.



“How could this have happened?” Alice cried out, rocking back and forth under Frank’s arm as Remus sat across from them in their living room. “We had biscuits the other day,” she provided, her bottom lip trembling. “The one’s she likes- liked.” Alice held her hand in a small circle, trying to show Remus the shape of the cookie that Dorcas really liked.

Remus nodded, and swallowed visibly as Alice continued sobbing into Frank’s arms.

“When are we having a funeral?’ Frank asked. Remus saw his tight jaw. He was trying not to cry, for Alice’s sake.

“Tomorrow. Up in Godric’s Hollow.”

Frank nodded again and pursed his lips. And Remus shook his head, licking his lips as Frank’s eyebrows furrowed slightly and he bit his lip.

“Dumbledore says…”

“We can’t go,” Alice said quietly, sitting up and wiping her tears away as best she could. Another tear fell from her eye onto the couch, and she watched it settle in. “I know.”



“So we’ve decided to have the funeral here?” Lily asked blankly to Remus, not wanting to look him in the eye. She rocked Harry in her arms gently. Remus nodded, but upon realizing Lily wasn’t looking, added a ‘yes’.

“And Sirius and Marlene?”

“Haven’t left the house yet,” Remus said tiresomely. “They know its tomorrow. I don’t know if they have it in them yet.”

James came down the staircase in a set of pajamas. He, too was unshaven and unkempt. He and Remus looked at each other over Lily’s head, and James motioned for Remus to come over to him with a tilt of his head.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Remus put his hand over Lily’s, and her head snapped up from the table to look at him. Her eyes were utterly red, overwhelming the powerful green. Her eyes began watering again, and she nodded quickly at Remus, smiling tightly.

Remus stood up from his seat in the dining room, and James held the front door open for him. The two stepped outside and James shut the door with a nearly silent click. James embraced Remus tightly and assumingly finally letting Remus’ shoulders relax.

James let go of Remus and stuck his hand in his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and his wand.

“Come on James,” Remus said, holding up his hand to the cigarette.

“Just,” James said biting his lip habitually, “take it. Please.” Remus took the cigarette from James’ hand, and let him light it with his wand. Now Remus remembered. James and Sirius used to smoke on the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts when something bad happened: Lily rejected James, Sirius failed another Potions practical.

James took a puff from his cigarette, and Remus followed suit, doing his best not to cough up the smoke. James let out a smooth stream of smoke and closed his eyes, feeling the sun on his face. He took the cigarette out of his hand and stubbed it on the gate next to them.

“Lily hates smoking,” he explained, making Remus roll his eyes and smirk gently. He too stubbed his cigarette out. “She hasn’t been outside in twelve days Remus. This will be good for her.”

Remus raised an eyebrow at the insinuation. He couldn’t imagine a funeral being good for anyone.



Peter closed the basement door behind him, and leaned against it as Mary knocked on the front door insistently. She told him she’d be visiting at the last meeting two days ago at Malfoy Manor. The day that Dorcas was murdered and he did nothing to stop it.

He pushed himself off of the door and smoothed down the front of his robes. He aimed his wand behind him, silencing his mother’s whining.

“Hi Mary,” he said calmly, swinging the front door open to let her in. Mary stalked into Peter’s house dominantly, with her mind made up.

“Peter,” she spat bitterly, sitting down at the kitchen table without invitation. Peter sighed, closing the door behind her. It seemed that every woman in his life was having a crisis of some sort.

“What is it, Mary?” He sat down next to her, but did not attempt to touch her. Mary crossed her arms over her chest, guarding herself from Peter did not know what.

“I can’t believe it,” she said quietly. Ducking her head towards her neck, Mary took a deep breath. “How could you kidnap one of your best friends?” she plead, her mouth shaking as Peter clenched his jaw. “How could you break into her apartment? Take her to Bellatrix? How could you assist in her murder?”

“I had to prove myself, Mary. He’ll kill us, you know that,” Peter said softly, taking Mary’s hand.

“We’re in too deep this time,” she said stickily, taking her hand from Peter’s. “I have to get out.” She steeled her jaw and looked Peter straight in the eye. “I’m going into hiding.”

Peter’s hand dropped from the table and his chest relaxed. Mary was the only other sane one. The only one who could keep him sane in that cult of madmen.

“Mary, you can’t. They will find you and kill you,” Peter implored, taking her hand again. “You can’t hide from them.”

“It’s my only chance, Peter. They have to know I assisted Sirius, Marlene, and Remus. I’m the only one who wasn’t in the meeting that day besides Bellatrix. It could only be me.”

“There’s no proving that, Mary!” Peter offered with optimism. “It could be a coincidence. They didn’t even find her alive, so no harm, no foul.”

Mary pursed her lips and shook her head. “They’re getting to you Peter. Do you really think the Dark Lord cares about proof? He’s angry and looking for someone to blame.” Mary looked at Peter sadly, and nodded, assuring him she’d be okay. She pulled back the sleeve on her left arm, and Peter’s eyes met only with alabaster skin.

“Look, I never even took the mark. He can’t track me as easily as you think.” Peter nodded too, realizing that this was the only chance that Mary stood. “And I’m not too dense, if I do say so myself.”

“At least tell me where you’re going!” Peter exclaimed as Mary stood up suddenly. “I’ll keep them off your track.”

“You know that I can’t do that, Peter.”

Peter nodded again, and his shoulders sunk back.

“When this is all over, we’ll find each other again. Don’t worry, Peter.” Mary leaned down to kiss Peter on the cheek, and he closed his eyes; knowing fully well that he would not see Mary McDonald alive again.



“Vance,” Alastor said in greeting from across the room.

“Moody,” she said back, her face plateaued. They were the only two who had shown up to the headquarters that day. “Why did you call me here today?”

“We don’t need to make this a big deal,” he said flatly, matching her tone. “We need to replace Meadowes.” Emmeline swallowed and nodded slightly, not meeting Alastor’s eyes. “Your talents would be a great asset to the Order of the Phoenix. And considering you already know about us,” he said, taking a breath, “would you like to officially join the Order of the Phoenix?”

Emmeline leaned forward on the wooden dining room table that sat in the middle of the large, conferential office. It was very out of place.

“I don’t like a lot of people, Alastor,” she finally said.

“Emmeline,” he said tersely. Emmeline held up a hand and her eyebrows furrowed a bit.

“But I liked Dorcas. She was really honest, and that’s hard to come by in a war.” Emmeline suddenly tilted her head up, looking at the ceiling to prevent tears from falling.

“We barely knew each other in Hogwarts, too. She always looked a little too happy,” she continued. “Do you know those people? Who look like they’re having a little too much fun?”

She waited for a response. Alastor nodded, letting her carry on.

“That was Dorcas. But anyway,” she interrupted herself, swatting the air around her head, “I liked her. She was smart, definitely could have been in Ravenclaw if she wasn’t so bloody Gryffindor. And then she got killed.” Emmeline brought her lips together suddenly, stopping her voice as if that’s all that could control them.

“So I don’t know if I want to be in The Order as much as I owe it to Dorcas. Because I don’t want to die a horrible, bloody, gory death, but I also don’t want to go my whole life knowing that I didn’t step up for the smartest and bravest person I’ve ever had the fortune of knowing,” she spewed out rather quickly. “So yeah. I’ll be in the Order of the Phoenix.”

Alastor stood up, pushing out his chair with the back of his good knee. He grabbed his cane with the arm of the side of his bad leg, and limped slightly to the door. Emmeline stood up too, frowning at his silence.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” He stepped out the door, and Emmeline put her head down slightly, unsure if she was in the Order or not. “I liked her too, Vance.” Emmeline looked up hopefully as Moody lingered in the doorway. “We’ll see you at the funeral tomorrow. Godric’s Hollow.”