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Valour by blackballet

Format: Novel
Chapters: 45
Word Count: 100,067

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Drama, Horror/Dark, Romance
Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, Voldemort, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 08/07/2013
Last Chapter: 06/05/2016
Last Updated: 01/12/2017

banner by me 

Life goes on

But so does death


          Innocence and arrogance combine in a story about eight newly-graduated revolutionaries. 

Chapter 39: The Worst in the Possible: Part I

 (June 12th, 1981)


“…Just get me to the airport put me on a plane, hurry, hurry, hurry before I go insane, I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain, oh no, no, no, no, no,” Dorcas murmured along with her muggle music as she leaned over her legs on the floor in her apartment. The nail polish brushed over her toenails smoothly, and Dorcas smiled in satisfaction as she coated her smallest toe perfectly. She capped the dark polish, and stood up precariously and sat back on her couch lazily.

“You are so cute!” She cooed as Venus climbed down from her perch and sat next to Dorcas on the couch. “Who says owls don’t cuddle?” Her owl rubbed its head against Dorcas’ leg. “Besides Sirius,” she muttered, rubbing her thumb over Venus’ small forehead.

Venus suddenly shook her head, ruffled her feathers, and sat up straight on the couch.

“What is it, girl?” Dorcas asked to herself. Venus didn’t take her eyes off the door, but tilted her head to the right a bit. Dorcas stood up, grabbed her wand from the living room table, and headed towards the doorway. Venus flew from the couch and out the window, and Dorcas tensed up instinctively.

Someone knocked at the door slowly and Dorcas swallowed as the rapt noise filled up the apartment. She crept forward, attempting to make as little noise as possible as the person on the other side of the door knocked again. The sound of a fist turned to a palm as the person slammed on the door.

Dorcas eyed the door, watching it as she snuck into the kitchen and towards the telephone. She put her hand on the receiver, and bit her lip as the door shook visibly. Dorcas sucked in a deep breath and dialed Sirius’ number quickly as the bottom of the door splintered with the force of a kick.

She hummed quietly, and goosebumps appeared on the back of her neck as the phone rang.

“She’s in there,” a voice mumbled from the other side, making Dorcas drop the phone on the counter next to her and step back from the door. It finally slammed open with the force of the foot of the intruder, and Dorcas held her wand up to her face as three masked Death Eaters stood in her doorway.

“My, you are pretty,” a male voice sneered. “You were right, Lucius,” the first man said, stepping forward and raising his wand to meet Dorcas’. “Makes me mad that you’re a mudblood,” he threatened, stepping forward and making Dorcas trip over her rug and fall to the ground. She kept her wad trained on him all the same.

“Don’t play,” one interrupted. “The Dark Lord cannot wait.”

The man spat at Dorcas’ feet, but she didn’t waver. He stepped an inch closer, knelt down, and Dorcas could feel the weight of his breath on her face. Dorcas felt her stomach turn in on itself as the two lurking behind him stepped forward. “Get her.”


Sirius lounged back on the couch and let out a deep breath. He fanned himself with an issue of the Daily Prophet, scoffing as his eyes fell on the words ‘edited by Mary McDonald’.

“At least somebody’s doing well for themselves,” he muttered bitterly. He tossed the paper away onto the table and kicked his feet up, yawning as the sun peeked in through the curtains behind him.

The phone rang out from the upstairs bedroom, and Sirius frowned immediately. “What? No.” Dorcas wouldn’t call him for just anything.

The air suddenly felt very cold around his body, and Sirius propelled himself to his feet. He stalked through the back of the house, kicking a piece of clothing out of the way carelessly. He jogged up the stairs as the stark ring echoed on. A cool sweat broke out on his forehead as he passed the den, then the bathroom, and slammed the door to the guestroom open.

Sirius hesitated as the phone rang across the room. He looked at the white receiver shake with the force of the ring. He took a deep breath and ran over to the phone, picking it up to his ear.

“Dorcas?” There was no answer, but Sirius heard a light clatter. “Dorcas!” he growled, his heart jumping as he heard the door he knew to be next to her telephone slam. Sirius’ knees gave out, and he fell to the bed, clutching the mattress tightly as mumbling voices came through the phone.

“Shit, Dorcas,” he murmured, letting the phone swing off of the hook. Sirius ran out of the guestroom and down the end of the hallway. He pushed aside the curtains on the window at the end of the hallway, coughing as the dust flew off. He pushed the window open and climbed out onto the adjoining balcony. Sirius took one last look back into the house before squeezing his eyes shut and spun away.


“No, I’m telling you I’m not going to sit around and do nothing while she’s being tortured!” Sirius yelled, spit flying into Remus’ face as he pushed him back against the wall. Remus shook his head and pushed Sirius back into the couch in the basement of the headquarters.

“We can’t do anything, Black. We don’t know where they took her, never mind if she was actually taken,” Moody dismissed casually. Sirius reared back onto his feet, and Remus pushed him back down onto the couch before he got towards Moody. Sirius glared up at his friend, but neither said anything.

“We all know the Death Eaters are lodged up at Malfoy Manor!” Marlene added angrily. “Why can’t we just go and make sure? If we don’t find Dorcas we’re at least bound to find some other prisoner.” Remus took in a deep breath as Moody flipped around from facing the board he was so furiously scribbling on.

“I don’t need a bunch of children telling me how to do my job, you understand?”

Marlene crossed her arms and cocked her chin up. The dim lighting of the basement made her look more daunting than she felt.

“If we attack Malfoy Manor, if Weasley, Kingsley, or myself are seen leading an attack on Malfoy Manor, do you understand the damage that would do? Meadowes is just a cog in the machine. Not worth the damage it would do.”

At this, Sirius lunged again. He shoved Remus to the floor with relative ease, but was stopped as Marlene stepped between him and Moody. She placed a hand firmly on his shoulder, willing him silently to turn back.

“What happened to, ‘she’s an asset,’?” he asked Moody bitterly as he collected a tattered leather jacket from a chair.

“The war got worse,” Moody muttered quietly as he exited the room with a slam of the door. Marlene let her hand fall, and went back to pacing in the corner of the room as Moody left.

“What the bloody hell is wrong with you?” Sirius asked, turning his anger back to Remus. Remus hoisted himself up from the floor and sat on the couch dejectedly. He leaned forward on his knees and closed his eyes, ignoring Sirius’ question. “That’s Dorcas we’re talking about!” he yelled again, motioning to the door.

“We don’t even know if she was kidnapped,” he said for what felt like the tenth time.

“Argh!” Sirius shouted, kicking the edge of the table next to the couch. “Of course she’s been taken. You saw her flat!”

“Regardless, there’s nothing we can do.” Remus shook his head and stood up to face Sirius. “Even if she was taken. It’s Dorcas.”

Sirius turned back, snarling at his friend.

“She can take care of herself,” Remus quickly defended. He definitely though Dorcas was worth the risk. If only to keep Sirius sane.

“That’s not good enough,” Marlene said darkly, gazing out the window at the rising sun.

“Please, Marlene. Don’t do anything,”

“Stupid?” she finished for Remus, picking up her coat from the floor where it had been tossed upon entering the room in a rage. “Too late.”

Marlene and Remus locked eyes, and he cinched his eyebrows together pleadingly. Marlene thought he looked like a little boy. She clicked her tongue at the back of her teeth, and shook her head as Remus just kept staring.

“C’mon Sirius. Let’s go visit your cousins.” Marlene left Sirius behind, knowing that he would follow. He scoffed at Remus and turned on his heel to follow Marlene when a hand stopped him.

“Wait, Padfoot,” Remus said tiredly, biting his cheek and shaking his head slightly. “If I can’t stop you,” he said vaguely, nodding towards the door. The corners of Sirius mouth turned up curtly, and he nodded politely at Remus.

“Then let’s go.”


The three appeared about 40 feet out from the main gate of Malfoy Manor. The black, iron-wrought gates were very intimidating, but Marlene seemed more determined.

“Marlene, stop!” Sirius warned. The gravel rumbled under her feet as she halted, sensing a thick wall of magic in front of her nose. She exhaled slowly, and stepped backwards slowly. Setting of an alarm would not do anyone any good.

She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered slightly in the chilly air that blew through. She’d never known that the Malfoy’s lived so close to the water.

“How are we supposed to get in?” she asked quietly, clenching a fist. Remus and Sirius walked up behind her, and Remus held up his wand, scanning the impenetrable enchantments.

“A series of counter-curses. I’m going to guess the Malfoy’s didn’t share this intimate knowledge at pureblood galas?” he asked the two purebloods that stood next to him. Marlene and Sirius shook their heads in unison.

“Let’s try walking around back. Maybe the Malfoy’s had a maid who couldn’t apparate,” Remus suggested, peeking around the side of the mansion as much as he could. Sirius scoffed and shook his head again.

“Try house elves, Moony. But it’s worth a look,” he whispered. The wind blew the thick bushes beside the main gates around, showing a path that lead around the side of the manse. Marlene walked forward cautiously, holding her hand just to the left of the magical barrier around the building.  

“What was that,” Remus said suddenly, whipping out his wand as a light in a room upstairs went out. Marlene turned over her shoulder and looked towards Sirius. “It seems as though someone’s home,” Remus said quietly, dragging Sirius’ arm to crouch with him beside the line of bushes.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Marlene whispered back at them, rushing to the bushes. She pulled an iridescent robe out of the pocket of her cloak and unfurled it. “I saw a light go on in the greenhouse. I couldn’t make out who it was.”

“We’re not here to hide, Marlene,” Sirius said gruffly, attempting to push past her.

“Well until we can actually get inside,” she fought, dragging Sirius back down by the collar, “get under the fucking cloak.” Marlene didn’t wait for a response from Sirius. She clamped a hand down over his mouth as a small form appeared from the screen door about thirty feet in front of the now invisible trio.

“Marlene!” the voice hissed, quite clearly female and vibrant. Marlene let her hand drop from Sirius’ mouth, and she leaned forward over his shoulder to get a better view of the person.

“Merlin, I think that’s Mary!” Sirius said brightly, attempting to remove the cloak again.

“No!” Marlene, cried out as Sirius slipped away and towards Mary. She groaned, and threw it off herself. Marlene stalked forward and took out her wand as Sirius approached Mary without caution. “Sirius do not go near her!” she warned, running to catch up to him.

Sirius’ brow furrowed, and he withdrew his wand slowly as well.

“What are you doing here Mary?” he asked, aiming his wand at her almost lazily. Marlene let out a heavy breath as she stood strongly next to Sirius. Mary looked at Marlene, pleading her silently not to reveal what she knew.

“She’s working for them,” Marlene said slowly, Remus approaching with his wand out as well. “She’s giving him information about us.” Marlene tilted her head and twisted her wand in her hand. “Or at least she was.”

“I can tell you where Dorcas is!” she spat out as Sirius eyes grew dark and he stepped forward with his wand aimed at her chest.

“And why should we trust you,” Remus said diplomatically, stepping in front of Sirius and pushing him gently back towards Marlene. Mary shook her head and the wind blew her thinning hair about frantically.

“I never meant for any of you to get hurt. I swear it.”

“Where is she?” Sirius asked deeply, tilting his chin up threateningly at Mary. She shrunk into herself slightly at the glare of the man she had betrayed one too many times. “Mary, I swear to you, I will murder you right here,” he said though his teeth.

“He was going to kill me,” she squeaked as Remus moved in front of Sirius again. “My-my family.”  

“We know, Mary,” Remus said softly. “Just tell us where Dorcas is, and we leave.”

Mary sucked her lips into her mouth, and nodded quickly. “Of course. I never wanted her to get hurt,” she rambled, tumbling her fingers over each other.

“The location, Mary,” Remus said shortly. He felt Sirius’ anger radiating.

“They’re on the beach. It’s private. You’ll know you’ve gone far enough west when you hear her…” she said quickly, trailing off. “There are no wards,” she started again, nodding positively.

Sirius didn’t wait to hear another word, but continued around the back of the mansion towards the beach. Remus followed, backing away with his wand pointed at Mary firmly. She swallowed, turning to Marlene who hadn’t moved. The two stared at each other, Mary fidgeting with her hair.

“At least I can sleep better knowing that he’ll definitely kill you for this,” Marlene said evenly after a pause. Mary nodded shakily and looked at the floor as Marlene took off in a sprint for the beach.