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Weasley Spinster by velllichor

Format: Short story collection
Chapters: 10
Word Count: 22,063

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Contains profanity, Mild violence, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: General, Humor
Characters: Victoire, OC

First Published: 05/27/2013
Last Chapter: 08/12/2016
Last Updated: 08/12/2016

Sequel to Weasley Smart and Weasley Anger

Victoire Weasley was an unpleasant and rude person. She was stubborn, a force to be reckoned with and under the impression that she was always right (which she usually was). 

And no matter what anyone said or did would ever change that.
beautiful banner by Lady Asphodel @ tda

Chapter 6: The Controlling Potions Partner

One of Victoire's biggest pet peeves was having a Potions partner who had no idea what the were doing but acted like they did. So naturally, she got stuck with a Potions partner who had absolutely no idea what in the hell they were doing but kept insisting that they were doing everything right.

It was only ten minutes into her Potions class and she was already full of anxiety and ready to rip her hair out. Her partner wasn't chopping anything up into the right sizes, they weren’t even reading the instructions in the textbook. Some of the ingredients at their table weren't even needed. The boy next to her, Louis, simply kept chopping away, as if he didn't have a care in the world. Victoire wanted to remind him that what he was chopping would prove to be very reactive when dropped into the cauldron. The potion they were currently making didn't need the plant that he was chopping up, and Victoire knew this for a fact, she had after all memorized the theory behind the ingredients. She had tried to fix what her partner was doing and minimize the damage as much as possible, but it was proving to be difficult when Louis kept telling her to sit back and relax.

Victoire was feeling many things in that moment but relaxed wasn't one of them. Homicidal, yes, but not relaxed.

"No, you don't put this in the cauldron, are you trying to send us to the hospital wing?!" Victoire yelled at Louis, she slapped his hand away from the cauldron. The plant that had been in his hand landed on the floor, where Louis picked it up like it wasn't covered in dirt, blew on it, as if that was going to make it clean, and then tried to put it in the cauldron a second time.

"That's even worse, what is wrong with you!" Victoire shrieked. She could see other students in her class staring at each other with worry, someone was going to have to hold her back pretty soon. Victoire was so close to lunging at Louis and strangling him. Her brother didn't deserve to share a name with someone like her partner.

"Would you chill out, I got this," Louis said, he held out his right arm to keep Victoire back,  the dangerous plant still in his hand. She was going to stop him from dropping it in no matter what it took, she'd rip his black hair out if she had to.

She watched in horror as the plant flew from his hand and landed in the cauldron. Victoire waited for the absolute worst to happen, she waited for things to explode and to be covered in potion, but after several tense moments, nothing happened. Victoire was in shock, everything she knew was a lie. Everything she had learned about Potions was wrong. The potion should've exploded, that was the rule, and Victoire was offended that the potion hadn't blown up.


"I'll be right back," Victoire said, sticking her hands in her hair in frustration. She moved to Donna's station to vent to her. Unlike Victoire, Donna hadn't gotten stuck with a partner who didn't know what they were doing. She and her partner were constantly consulting each other about the ingredients, making sure they were doing things right. Maybe this was the universe's way of telling Victoire to be kinder.

The universe was going to have try harder.

"Donna," Victoire said, standing to the side as Donna and her partner poured over the Potions textbook. Donna let out a hum and then turned to face Victoire a moment after.

"I think today might really be the day that I actually kill someone," Victoire said, she could feel an eye twitch coming on. Donna could sense it as well and stared at her eyes with concern. Eye-twitching was not good.

"What's wrong," Donna asked, crossing her arms.

"My partner is a moron but he doesn't know it. Donna, I swear, if he keeps throwing in anymore ingredients at random as he is, he's going to blow up this entire room," Victoire said. Feathers were going to start popping out of her arms any moment, and everyone knew how well that went the last time.

"So then go and tell him to stop," Donna replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Victoire almost clocked her friend in the face.

"Really, that never occurred to me, I thought maybe if I just breathed really heavily next to him then he'd get the message," Victoire said sarcastically. Her skin was beginning to itch, the feathers were very close to popping out. She was going to turn into a goddamn bird right in the middle of class if she didn't calm down. Potions was the worst class to be throwing fireballs in.

Victoire couldn't help but stare at Louis from Donna's station. She scratched her arms as she tried to burn holes through the back of his head. She was hoping if she stared hard enough then she’d burn right through to his brown eyes.

"Okay, okay, I got the message, sheesh, just don't start throwing any fire and you should be fine. He hasn't destroyed anything yet so he can't be doing that bad," Donna appended in an attempt to make the situation better. Victoire's head turned so fast at Donna's words, she was surprised it hadn't snapped.


"I think I'll shut up now," Donna said hurriedly and then turned back to her partner.

Donna wasn't going to be joining Victoire in conversation again out of fear of fuelling Victoire's anger even more. Victoire couldn't blame her really, she didn't even want to be around herself when she got this way.

Victoire went back to her own station where Louis was still throwing ingredients at random into their cauldron. Victoire had lost track of what he had deposited in their cauldron after the twelfth  ingredient had gone in. She was surprised the entire thing hadn't blown up already, it should've by all logic.

There was nothing left to do but wait and see what happened. Victoire would have to face the fact that she was going to be failing this potion. It would be her first failing mark ever, it was a truly historic day.

Victoire spent the rest of class sitting back and letting Louis do all of the work. If he wasn't going to listen to her, she wasn't going to waste her breath. If she wasn't going to get to do things right, then she was going to get to say I told you so.

Victoire spotted the first sign that something was very wrong when the cauldron shuddered even though neither she or Louis had touched it. It was moving for a good ten seconds, she had no idea how Louis hadn't noticed the movement. And Victoire did nothing.

Louis seemed to be growing more irritated with her as well, although she couldn't imagine why. He kept throwing her dirty looks every few minutes as he threw in yet another random ingredient. In fact the whole the class had taken to staring at Victoire every few minutes. They had never seen her sitting back and doing nothing during a class her entire life. That was the most relaxed anyone had seen her in all their school years together. Ever.

After a few more minutes, the cauldron began to bubble, which it definitely wasn't supposed to do, and thick black smoke began to rise. It was spreading to the front of the class, every student near the front found themselves coughing uncontrollably into the sleeves of their robes. Even old Professor Slughorn was looking over at Victoire's station with concern.

"Victoire," Louis said.

"Hmm," she hummed, looking up from her nails. Louis had his arms crossed, a frown on his face. He was standing far too close to her.

"You've done absolutely nothing this entire class, I've been the one doing all of the work," Louis started. Victoire could feel her face settling into a neutral expression. Her mouth went straight, her eyebrows went straight, it was Victoire’s signal for “Run, and run far.” Donna could see her face going blank, everyone could see her face going blank, everyone knew what Victoire's blank face meant.

"Are you serious right now?" Victoire asked incredulously in a low voice. She swung back her blonde hair and crossed her own arms. If Louis wanted to get into it, Victoire was more than ready.

"Yeah, I am, all you've done is inspect your nails this entire class!" Louis exclaimed. Donna was waving frantically behind Louis's back. Victoire acted as if she hadn't seen her best friend. Donna knew better than to interrupt Victoire when she was fighting someone.

"In case you weren't aware, I did try to help you, but you wouldn't listen to me, and now here we are," Victoire said, waving her hand towards their cauldron, which had begun shaking violently again. Everyone else in the class was slowly backing away from Victoire's station, alarmed looks on their faces. Donna was jumping up and down, an alarmed look on her face. Victoire continued to ignore her. No one was really sure who was going to blow up first, Victoire or the cauldron.

"You were just trying to boss me around, that's not helping," Louis retorted.

"You wouldn't let me near the ingredients, bossing you around was all I could do, and if you'd actually listened to anything that came out of my mouth, you wouldn't have created a bomb about to go off," Victoire snapped back. There were sparks flying out of the cauldron now. Donna's arm waving had gotten even more frantic.

"I'm seventy-five percent sure this isn't going to explode—"

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IT'S VERY STABLE TO YOU, DOES IT?" Victoire screeched. The cauldron was shaking so hard, the sparks were flying higher and higher, and the smoke had now filled the entire room. Victoire didn't wait for a response, instinct told her the cauldron was ready to blow, she pushed Louis under their table, and followed him under. Victoire's classmates got the hint and they too crawled underneath their desks.

There were a few moments of tense silence and then the cauldron exploded so loudly, Victoire was fairly certain they'd heard, and felt, it on the floor above them. She had her ears plugged when it happened. Louis fell against her as their table shook violently from the explosion. She tried to wiggled out from underneath Louis’s fat head, she didn’t want his dirt covered face rubbing off on her robes and his sticky hands touching her face.

She stayed under the table for a few more minutes to make sure there was nothing more to follow and then crawled out. The potion had covered the entire room, from ceiling, to floor, to the teacher’s desk and blackboard, to all of the other work benches. Victoire had had to time her exit from the table so that none of the black as tar substance would land on her. Louis followed behind her a few seconds later, which was just as well because the potion had eaten away at the surface of their table and what was left of the cauldron fell through.

"Nice going, dumbass," Victoire accompanied the statement with a flick to Louis's forehead.

Professor Slughorn was the last one to get back on his feet, his face red, with anger or from the effort it took to get up, Victoire wasn't sure. She did know she wasn’t about to serve a detention for something she didn’t do, she’d fight her own teacher if she had to.

"In all my years of teaching Potions, nothing has ever gone quite this badly before in my class," Professor Slughorn puffed.

"Professor, I would just like to state that I had absolutely nothing to do in the making of this potion," Victoire said, arm in the air.