You are viewing a story from

Valour by blackballet

Format: Novel
Chapters: 45
Word Count: 100,067

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Drama, Horror/Dark, Romance
Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, Voldemort, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 08/07/2013
Last Chapter: 06/05/2016
Last Updated: 01/12/2017

banner by me 

Life goes on

But so does death


          Innocence and arrogance combine in a story about eight newly-graduated revolutionaries. 

Chapter 19: The Butterflies in the Lollipops

 (December 24th, 1979)


“I know!” Dorcas and Alice said at the same time, bursting out in laughter in the cramped Ministry elevator. Lily let out a small sigh as she shifted to the right and bumped into a stoic man in a dark coat. The elevator dinged, and Lily slithered her way out in the large crowd.

“Alice! Dorcas!” she said impatiently. “This is our floor!” Dorcas and Alice excused themselves and pushed through from the back of the elevator.

“Sorry everyone!” Alice called back into the elevator as the golden-gated doors slid shut, and it zoomed backwards into the building. “Alright, guys, so here’s what’s on the agenda.” Alice slid some papers to the right and they slipped out of her folder. “Ugh.” She stamped her foot on the ground, and bent to pick them up.

“No, no I’ll get it,” Dorcas said quickly, shooing Alice away and picking up the papers for her. Lily frowned at Dorcas and Alice chuckled.

“I’m pregnant,” she explained to Lily, smiling as Lily widened her eyes in astonishment.

“Congratulations!” She swallowed thickly and embraced Alice mechanically.

“Lily and James have been trying to get pregnant,” Dorcas explained bluntly. Lily glared at her over Alice’s shoulder. She swallowed again and stepped back from Alice, putting her hands on her hips.

“I’ll have you know, I am pregnant, too,” she said proudly. The three moved out of the way as the elevator opened again.

“Lily! How long have you known?” Dorcas asked as she hugged her friend tightly.

“Since the end of October,” she said sheepishly, rubbing Alice’s back as the two embraced. Alice started leading the way towards the courtroom and the trial they were set to sit in on. “James and I were going to tell everyone at dinner tonight,” she told Dorcas. “But then that got cancelled, so we’re praying for New Year’s to be a go.”

“Our kids will go to Hogwarts together, Lily!” Alice squeaked excitedly. Lily smiled back and nodded happily.

“And Molly’s boy, too.” Alice bounced on the balls of her feet giddily and skipped forward to catch up with Lily and Dorcas.

“It’ll be like a mini-Order,” Alice whispered as she poked her head between the two younger witches.

“Just, don’t tell James I told you,” Lily muttered as she tucked her hair behind her ear. “We were supposed to do this together.” Alice handed them the dockets on the case as they approached the courtroom. Dorcas smirked at Lily, and Lily swatted her away with her packet. “Let’s just focus on this,” she said, waving the papers in front of their faces.

“Right,” Alice said, shaking her head to clear it. “This is Igor Karkaroff.” Lily and Dorcas flipped open their folders to the front page, and a menacing man sneered back up at them, smiling evilly with his crooked teeth. “We know that he’s one of them,” she whispered, opening the large wooden door and ushering the others inside. “This trial is just petty theft. He’ll get let off with community service at the most, but the outcome is going to answer a few more of our questions,” Alice informed them darkly.

“What do you mean?” Dorcas whispered as they climbed up to the higher balcony for spectators.

“Look who’s on the jury.” Dorcas and Lily’s gazes fixed on the large panel of people, scanning for familiarity.

Lily gasped and put her hand over her mouth as her eyes landed on Lucius Malfoy. Dorcas ground her teeth as Antonin Dolohov, an old classmate and now an Unspeakable, leered at a woman from his position next to the head judge on the case, Millicent Bagnold.

“I don’t have to remind you that you can’t tell the others about this. It’s sensitive.”

“I don’t get it. How come we get to know?” Dorcas asked, drawing her eyes away from Dolohov and back to Alice.

“There are certain people: myself, Albus, Kingsley. We deal with the political side of things.” She clenched her hand and took a deep breath. “After Gideon and Fabian, we needed to pick new first tiers. You’re them.” The courtroom bustled, and the three of them felt more comfortable raising their voices.

“First tiers?” Lily questioned. Alice looked at her and smiled.

“There are three tiers of the Order: political, tactical, reserve. We’re the political tier, the ones that deal with Ministry infiltration.” Alice looked around and lowered her voice. “Tactical is all undercover work. That’s Moody, James, Remus, Marlene, Arthur, Peter, Frank, and, it used to be Sirius and yourself,” she said, motioning to Dorcas. ”Lastly, there are those who work part-time as spies and liaisons like Mary, Caradoc, Benjy, Edgar, and a couple others that we’re not all privy to.”

“What changed? How come I’m political?” Dorcas asked curiously, filing through her folder. Alice sighed as Millicent Bagnold slammed her gavel, silencing the crowd.

“We’ll talk more later. For now, pay attention.”



“This is so weird,” Marlene whispered to Remus as they sat in the muggle police station in Greenwich, Connecticut, United States. Alastor was talking to someone over the main desk, and Remus and Marlene were slumped in chairs that lined the wall. Marlene inched closer to Remus as the strange man sitting next to her coughed loudly and snorted.

“I know. Who knew Moody had connections in the States?” Marlene shrugged and yawned. They had been trying to find the source of the muggle attacks for six days now, and Marlene felt that they’d hit a dead end.

“Thanks,” Alastor said charmingly, winking at the officer sitting at the computer. He turned and his face dropped immediately. He walked out the door, and Marlene and Remus scrambled to keep up. “We’re too late,” he said in defeat as the trio walked to the bus station. They stopped at the sign that indicated a bus would show up to take them into Westchester, a county of New York not too far from there, in about five minutes. “There hasn’t been a hit in five days. Doubt that there are any Death Eaters left here, and if there are, they’re buried in a ditch somewhere.”

“But we’re sure it was them?” Marlene asked timidly. Alastor didn’t react except to clench his jaw and tighten his mouth.

“The snake-like clouds above houses of murdered muggles? What do you think McKinnon?” Marlene looked to the ground as Moody put her in her place. “I said what do you think?”

“Death Eaters,” she said begrudgingly.

“That’s right,” Moody assured her. “It’s not all butterflies and lollipops.” None of them said another word as the bus pulled up. Remus stepped forward as the door opened for them, and handed the driver the fare with the muggle money he’d exchanged with his mother’s pounds.

The bus was almost empty, with only a couple of rows and seats empty. Marlene scanned the bus, looking past two couples, a woman with brown hair and a thick scarf in the back, a short man with a hat, and a mother with a baby. Marlene and Remus sat next to each other on one side of the bus, and Moody found a seat further in the front behind the driver. Remus snickered as the bus driver twitched when Moody landed behind her ungracefully.

“I hate this,” Marlene snarled, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “I want them all dead.” Remus held her hand loosely, and squeezed it as she leaned on him. They’d been searching for days for the perpetrators, but lost their lead as the killings stopped. Remus knew that Moody was afraid the war was escaping Europe, and he was right to. Muggles and muggleborns were being targeted specifically, and it killed Remus to think of Dorcas.

Marlene sat up quickly, and Remus looked behind them as a loud crack resounded in the bus. It lurched forward as it came to their stop, and Moody got up, motioning for them to make their way off.

“Did you hear that?” she muttered to Remus as they exited the bus.

“Yes,” he mouthed back, pointing at Moody’s back to warn her not to say more.

“Should we say something?” she whispered as Moody headed towards the foreclosed house they were staying in. Alastor quickened his pace to the grand house, leaving Marlene and Remus in the dust.



“Move it boys!” Frank shouted in his magically amplified voice. Peter and James were crawling through what appeared to be a large tunnel in the Ministry’s auror training arena. Although they weren’t technically allowed to be training there, Moody and Frank had pulled some strings collectively. “You should be out by now!”

“Alright there, Peter?” James shouted back to Peter who was crawling at a much slower pace.

“I’m fine, James,” he said through deep breaths. “Go on without me I’ll catch up,” he heaved out, wiping his forehead and stopping to catch his breath. James turned around and kept on his way towards Frank’s voice. Frank kept shouting at the pair to hurry up through the maze so they could move onto dueling, and that didn’t exactly encourage James to get there.

“James, move it!” he heard, waking him from his spell. He moved as fast as he could, wiping his glasses as they fogged up from the heat in the tunnel. They must have been vents. James saw a light as he turned the corner, and felt something brush up against his leg as he sped up. As he drew closer, he saw Frank’s head in the hole and heard a garish but squeaky laugh. Oh great. He was really going to get it.

As Frank gave him a hand to climb out, James’ eyes adjusted to the light and he saw Peter leaning up against a table that held an assortment of muggle weapons. “Well, I don’t know how Peter got out of there so fast, but I do know that that’s one for him!” Frank said happily, ticking off a mark under Peter’s name. They had a competition of sorts going.

“I have a feeling I know exactly how he did it,” James muttered, shaking his head as Peter winked at him cockily.


Sirius tapped his fingers against the spine of the old book. Mr. Potter had lent him his old study book from when he was training to become an Auror, and if Sirius really wanted to do this, then he’d have to brush up.

After getting let off the Order, he’d finally had time to dedicate to actually passing the exam. He and James had always wanted to be Aurors before the Order came into play, and now he had the time to do it.

It wasn’t that he was bitter he was kicked out. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He missed it, sure, and he always felt left out of the loop, but this gave him the time to do what he wanted to. And he hadn’t done that in a long time.

So there he sat, reading Mr. Potter’s old training guide and doing his best to memorize every stitch of it. If he was going to pass the entrance exam, he’d want to go in knowing everything they could possibly ask.

And with all this extra time he had a lot of thought to give to the whole godfather situation. He was so ready to be another dad to their kid, knowing James would probably never be home just like he isn’t now. And then if Dorcas was godmother then it’d be like they had a kid anyway and he could forgive her for the whole miscarriage debacle. Sirius smirked into his grubby book.

“That’s right, mate,” Sirius muttered to himself. “Everything’s turning up fucking butterflies and lollipops.”



“So you’re this Mary girl?” Peter’s mother asked from her seat. Mary looked up from her nails suddenly and nodded at the woman who was previously silent. Peter’s mother clicked her tongue against her teeth. “And I guess you’re involved with this group he is in, too?” Mary swallowed, and she was suddenly very aware of her tongue.

“Yes. We are working against some dark-“

“No, stupid girl,” she scolded. “I mean you’re working for the group that’s keeping me alive, aren’t you?” she croaked out, clutching onto the bedframe as she coughed. Mary offered her a glass of water but she waved it away.

“Yes I’m working for them, too,” Mary said solemnly, fiddling with her cuticles as Peter’s mother scowled at her stonily.

“A traitor, just like my son. How befitting that he’d choose a coward like himself to bed.” Mary opened her mouth to protest the accusation, but thought against it as his mother started coughing again. Mary could understand why. The basement was awfully dusty, and as far as she could tell, Peter’s mother hadn’t been out of this room since Peter told everyone she had passed away.

“Stop picking at your nails, girl.” Mary let her hands drop to her side and tilted her head down to avoid the stern woman’s gaze. “Did Peter tell you what he did to save me?” Mary shook her head no, but did not verbally respond. “First thing, he sold you all out. Well not you, I guess. Bloody traitor,” she added to herself, picking up the napkin that came with her dinner and coughing into it loudly.

“It was a bit after graduation. You-Know-Who’s got a list, see. He’s got a list now of the names of the members of that pathetic little group.”

“He couldn’t,” Mary said in disbelief, her brows crinkling.

“He did. And what did it get me? Another couple of months in this hole,” she said bitterly, looking around.

“Then there was something about poisoned beer, but I don’t think that went too well, because I was back on my deathbed.” Mary’s eyes pricked with tears as she recalled Marlene laying still in a hospital bed. “And I’ve been held over since he told them how to get into James’, bless his soul, childhood home.” Mary was stunned into silence. She felt rather dizzy suddenly, and gripped the arm of her chair tightly.

“So I’m guessing he didn’t tell you anything remotely close to this?” Mary shook her head again and her lip trembled. “Shame. He never did communicate well.” Mary almost snorted at the irony. This woman commenting on anyone’s social skills was quite laughable.

“And he’s still doing this?” Mary questioned timidly. The woman’s small lips trembled gently, and she laid back down on the bed. Mary got up and pulled the blanket over her as she struggled to reach it herself.

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?” she growled, slapping away Mary’s hand. Mary collected her jacket from her chair, and clicked the lights off as she saw his mother close her eyes. A tear finally slipped out of her eye as she climbed the stairs to the main floor.

“Merry Christmas,” she whispered, shutting the door silently behind her.